don’t let anyone on this website call you cringe they literally have a tumblr account

I'm Shmack'd

idea: scene with two characters eagerly stripping each other clearly about to bone, but they keep getting interrupted by finding carefully concealed weapons in each other’s clothing, so they keep just unholstering, revealing and unstrapping increasingly ludicrous amounts of hidden guns and knives as the clothes come off, and it’s lowkey killing the mood a little

I’m sorry milord, but the peasants are nailing erotic artwork of you and your court jester to the church doors again

Charge!

also it is with a heavy heart that i must inform you that tumblr isnt inherently better than twitter and having the ability to use More Words has not done anything in the past to give people on this hellsite any reading comprehension. we’re just lucky 😔

"my child is fine" your child has long ebony black hair with purple streaks and red tips that reaches her mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears

Merry Christmas y'all

i love it when people like “omg [story] copied [other story]” and then list the steps of the heroes journey

This is mildly blasphemous, but in the Toy Story universe do baby Jesus figurines from nativity sets think they’re actually Jesus, or are they just like. Babies

sorry mom, i got a small unpopular blog to run

shipment officers, gently nudging Ever Given with their 8 tugboats: Ever Given move out of the way please so you don’t block the entire global trade

Ever Given, her lamplights enormous: you SHOVE ever given? you shove her hull like the big boulder? oh! oh! no commerce for human! no commerce for human for One Thousand Years!!!

Dandelions symbolize everything I want to be in life

part of me is like “what the fuck do you mean next week is august when last week was mid april” but then the other part of me is like “approximately 7 years have passed since december 2019 and july 2020″ so that’s fun

carmelldansen but you're in a bunker underground while air raid sirens go off in the distance

Imagine, you're in quarantine and you just want to chill a moment, so you watch John Mulaney's stand up. And then you go on instagram to find that John Mulaney fucking SAW you WATCHING HIM.

controversial redbull ad where jfk drinks a redbull and flies out of his convertible and avoids his assasination

This is the level of hyperanalystic bullshit I live for

EDIT: So this blew up. For the record, the original poster of this theory was Sarah Weaver on Quora. If you have any questions about this theory, refer them to her