#7cups is good for text chat

[rhythmic-idealist]

Okay, I'm making this post, and it's 1-person anecdotal but I think that's enough. I believe I last checked out the site in 2020 but it might be older info than that, but I'm still sharing this. I invite people to correct me if I'm wrong and there has been some kind of massive overhaul of the very core and culture of the site.

7cupsoftea (7cups.com) is not a reliable website, the volunteers on it are not adequately trained or supervised, and I don't advise it. It is unsafe for listeners and members (people seeking help) alike.

7cups offers ways to contact therapists, and I've never used that feature, so I can't comment.

I used to volunteer at 7cups, both as a teen and as an adult. Training can be completed in one day. There is (last I checked) no supervision period. Listeners are encouraged to keep checking in with people they've spoken to previously, which sounds like a good support model, until you're 17-19 years old and feel responsible for a situation you are not equipped to manage.

It's hard to talk about this, by the way, because I do not begrudge that person and I would do it the same way again. Parting was weird and bad as I made an abrupt exit from the site, and I love(d) them, and I'm not sure if I'd want to excise that part of my life unless it means they get better help sooner. I still need to make the rest of this post about how the site shouldn't exist in its current form.

Since then, I volunteered at a different crisis support line, and (while it had its own problems) was supervised and supported by more experienced listeners for months before I was in a position to lead other new listeners. It made me realize how laughably bad 7cups training is.

As an adult, I went back to find someone to vent to myself, and the listener with whom I connected immediately told me (in words smothered in empathy, blink-and-you'd-miss-the-problem) that my friends aren't supporting me, I can't trust my friends and family, and that I should be their friend instead. I hadn't said anything about my family or friends.

I laughed in their face and told them exactly how they were abusing his position of social power in this space, but that's only because I am almost comically not vulnerable to that kind of common and effective manipulation. As it happened, I felt super supported. But they brought it up because they're aware that many people looking for anonymous help don't have many other people to listen to them.

Last I checked, the volunteer listener half of the site has only decreased in quality since I left it. There were some experiences there I was grateful for, but that later experience made it clear to me that this place was built in a way that makes abuses of power extremely easy, and made me reflect on how easily I could have done them myself had I been so inclined.

tl;dr

The core goals of 7cupsoftea were good. I'm willing to bet that extremely unethical move that listener made, telling me I should be their friend, was probably even not intended to be manipulation, though it was (and needs to be not given any slack every time, because one time, it will be someone who means to do abuse).

But encouraging listeners to follow up with people they had helped in the past sets up a bad situation for listeners and members alike. Training is insufficient. Supervision is either insufficient or nonexistent, I can't remember. Listeners can come to other listeners for support, but most are also unequipped for that position. Rules are easy to ignore.

Please use the Crisis Text Line (not sure if I have firsthand experience with this one) or Lifeline Chat (which I CAN recommend firsthand).

If you prefer speaking out loud, but are not suicidal, calling the National Suicide Hotline and saying "I am not suicidal, but I really need a number to call for a lower-level crisis, do you know of any broader crisis lines I can call?" worked well for me when I needed it.

---

Closing note:

When I signed up, people as young as 13 could register to be listeners, a policy designed to keep adults from creeping on teenagers in need of help, but maybe they should have used... any of the strategies other helplines use to prevent this, instead. I'm unsure if this is still the case. The bulk of the post didn't need it and it proved distracting, but it should be pointed out while I'm here. They were not equipped to make that work and I'm not sure any online system ever would be.

#7cups #7cupsoftea #ok #okay what fucking ever this post goes out into the world #if you're reading and you think you're the girl in the post #and you want to talk to me rather than move on with your life #yeah you can reach out I'd reconnect and talk with you. I might have some better resources to help now. #I'm a whole 23-year-old adult and able to not bungle it as badly #it feels like bullshit to make this post but I'd only alter the timeline if I'd have found you another way #and uh. you know. helped more. #okay take care out there and I'm sorry for leaving

[obstrucct-m]

{Not quite a vent, more of a realization below:

I’ve come to a realization about myself, and I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’m basically hyperempathetic (having too much empathy for people), and I know being empathetic is a good thing, but (after having done my research on it) I can relate to what was written about hyper-empathy a little too much. It’s like I’m a sponge that absorbs others’ feelings and I’m stuck thinking about those feelings that aren’t my own for who knows how long & worrying immensely about people. I want to help people, I care about people/my friends & mutuals, I really do. But emotions get attached to me (usually negative ones) and I’m just left feeling numb & trying to distance myself from it/distract myself from it or just heading off Tumblr itself. Or scrambling to help in any way I can. 

I’m not shaming others for feeling bad or anything. I’m not saying you should avoid feeling bad around me either. Feelings are feelings and we sometimes can’t stop them. Mental illnesses are a thing and I understand those can affect people randomly. it just it tends to affect me deeper than expected & overwhelm me when someone’s feeling bad. I have tags blacklisted as well as having some things in the filter to help myself not be so bothered and have things not be right in my face and I’ve been working on taking some time off to help regulate/ground myself, though.

I also try to help through the positivity posts I make sometimes, and I hope those help. When I post those, I’m talking about everyone I interact with, past and present, inactive and active, OC and canon muses, muti-muse and single muse blogs, etc. When I say I love you all, I mean all of you.

So, in short, I care too much & it bothers me as a result & I might as well be an emotions sponge.

And here are some online resources for help or just some things to distract/calm yourself if you need it:

Crisis text line

imalive online chat

7cups (another online mental health chat)

make some silk art

dearindie’s smile tag

ofmymuse’s save for sad days tag

My personal blog, which is generally a positive place with plenty of cats}

#{ 𝓴𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓼 ~ 𝓸𝓸𝓬 } #{Just had to get this thing out that I've been thinking about for a while...}

[washingxmentality-m]

{Not quite a vent, more of a realization below:

I’ve come to a realization about myself, and I can’t decide if it’s a good thing or a bad thing. I’m basically hyperempathetic (having too much empathy for people), and I know being empathetic is a good thing, but (after having done my research on it) I can relate to what was written about hyper-empathy a little too much. It’s like I’m a sponge that absorbs others’ feelings and I’m stuck thinking about those feelings that aren’t my own for who knows how long and worrying immensely about people. I want to help people, I care about people/my friends & mutuals, I really do. But emotions get attached to me (usually negative ones) and I’m just left feeling numb & trying to distance myself from it/distract myself from it or just heading off Tumblr itself. Or scrambling to help in any way I can. 

I’m not shaming others for feeling bad or anything. I’m not saying you should avoid feeling bad around me either. Feelings are feelings and we sometimes can’t stop them. Mental illnesses are a thing and I understand those can affect people randomly. it just it tends to affect me deeper than expected & overwhelm me when someone’s feeling bad. I have tags blacklisted as well as having some things in the filter to help myself not be so bothered and have things not be right in my face and I’ve been working on taking some time off to help regulate/ground myself, though. 

I also try to help through the positivity posts I make sometimes, and I hope those help. When I post those, I’m talking about everyone I interact with, past and present, inactive and active, OC and canon muses, muti-muse and single muse blogs, etc. When I say I love you all, I mean all of you.

So, in short, I care too much & it bothers me as a result & I might as well be an emotions sponge.

And here are some online resources for help or just some things to distract/calm yourself if you need it:

Crisis text line

imalive online chat

7cups (another online mental health chat)

make some silk art

dearindie’s smile tag

ofmymuse’s save for sad days tag

My personal blog, which is generally a positive place with plenty of cats}

#{ 𝓴𝓲𝓽 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓪𝓴𝓼 ~ 𝓸𝓸𝓬 } #{Just had to get this thing out that I've been thinking about for a while...}

[ryendcha]

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[myjourneywithed]

O.S.F.E.D. Master Post

Here’s that master post on OSFED (which stands for Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorder) that I mentioned wanting to make a while back: 

Basic definition:

“Other specified feeding and eating disorders (OSFED) is a clinical category of disordered eating that describes individuals suffering from maladaptive thoughts and behaviors related to food, eating and body image, but who do not meet all the diagnostic criteria for another specific diagnosis like anorexia nervosa or bulimia nervosa.” (from eatingrecoverycenter.com)

Because OSFEDs (and EDNOS) are not as specifically diagnosed as anorexia nervosa, for example, many insurance companies do not cover them...

Statistics (for both EDNOS and OSFED):

These disorders used to be known as EDNOS (Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified), but a few years ago the change was made to OSFEDs as it encompassed a greater variety of symptoms

OSFED is the deadliest of all eating disorders, mainly because it encompasses such a wide variety and severity of symptoms

The mortality rate is estimated to be about 5.2%

OSFED affects about 6% of the population

Up to 70% of all eating disorders fall under the EDNOS banner

According to the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders, 24 million people in the US of all ages and genders suffer from an EDNOS 

EDNOS covers those who fail to meet all guidelines for eating disorders, which means that they may not qualify for coverage for their illness.

e.g. A person with anorexia who weights 87% of her ideal body weight (IBW) technically has an EDNOS, because the guidelines say the individual should weigh no more than 85% of IBW to be considered anorexic.

More General Info:

National Eating Disorder Association (otherwise known as NEDA) (you know I always gotta include my faves ❤️)- Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder

Walden Eating Disorders- EDNOS facts

The Center for Eating Disorders- A Closer Look at Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders (OSFED)

Eating Recovery Center- OSFED & Other Eating Disorders Overview

National Eating Disorders Collaboration- Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders

Other Articles:

The Emily Program- Help for Other Specified Feeding and Eating Disorders (OSFED) (this includes a bit of overview information, a little bit on help, and links to an E.D. quiz and more)

Beat Eating Disorders- Treatment for OSFED

Center for Change- OSFED Treatment

Greatist- The Most Common Eating Disorder You’ve Probably Never Heard Of

Helping Others with OSFED:

Eating Disorder Hope- Guide for Family and Friends of Loved Ones with OSFED

Beat Eating Disorders- Worried about a Friend or Family Member (a general article on helping, not specifically aimed at OSFED, but incredibly helpful and thorough)

Mirror Mirror- Talking To Someone With An Eating Disorder (again, general but still good)

How to Help a Friend with an Eating Disorder (general blog post by a girl who struggled with EDNOS/OSFED)

Videos:

Amanda Henkel- EDNOS/OSFED: “I’m not sick enough”

Howcast- Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

Nightline from ABC News- EDNOS: Most Dangers, Unheard of Eating Disorder

EnvyMaliceMikki- What We Want You to Know (a more general video discussing things that people with ED’s wished people without ED’s knew)

Jubilee- Strangers Connect Over Past Eating Disorder Struggles (not informative, but incredibly powerful, not to mention that it’s awesome that these issues are coming to light more and more in places that aren’t concentrated just on eating disorders)

Helplines/Chatlines:

NEDA:

hotline: [phone]

chatline

crisis text line: in a crisis text “NEDA” to 741741 and you will be connected with a trained volunteer at Crisis Text Line

hours: mon-thurs from 9am-9pm ET, and Friday from 9am-5pm ET

7cups

chatline, talk to a therapist in an online chat room

ANAD

hotline: [phone]

hours: mon-fri from 9am-5pm CT

Please remember to stay safe and take care of your body, and if you think you might be struggling with OSFED or any other type of eating disorder, communicate! Get help!

Recovery is worth it and you are strong enough to achieve it ❤️

#eating disorder #ed recovery #ednos #ednos recovery #osfed #osfed recovery #hotlines #chatlines #master post #love your body #take care of your body

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

Do you think that talking to a therapist is good for helping with if you are feeling suicidal? Or do you think something more serious is to be done. I often convince myself this isn't a big deal because I'm not physically harming myself but it's more so thoughts. But the thoughts are really wearing me down. I think I am depressed but I haven't been tested but I know I have severe anxiety to the point it physically stops me in my tracks. I don't know where to start as far as help is concerned.

Talking to a therapist is a very good idea, and will likely help with the suicidal thoughts, depression, and anxiety. I will give you a heads up that it may take you a couple of tries to find a therapist you’re comfortable and compatible with, or you might find them on the first try. Just don’t be discouraged if the first one you meet doesn’t feel right.

Your health insurance should have a directory of mental health professionals whose services they cover, which is the best place to start. If you don’t have insurance for some reason, but you’re in school, there may be counselors or therapists through your school. If seeing a therapist right away seems overwhelming, you can also try talking to trained listeners and volunteers on an app like 7Cups. 

And always remember that just about every country has a suicide hotline, and you don’t have to be actively about to kill yourself to call them! If you’re uncomfortable calling, there are various crisis chat services, but I personally had a good experience with Crisis Text Line. You communicate completely through texting, which I found much easier than trying to speak aloud.

I hope you find all the help and healing you need. 💜

KC

#Anonymous

[sillyglitternacho-blog]

Share Link:

Dear friends and acquaintances, I am a volunteer Listener on the site/app 7Cups. It is a helpful place where people can talk or vent anonymously one on one to a Trained Listener for free. There also supportive materials, forums, and monitored chat rooms for different concerns on the site. It is a very good resource for a variety of issues including anxiety and sleeping well for example. To insure anonymity and a confidential environment, Guests and Listeners cannot connect with who they interact with on the site so as to keep it a support site and not a social site. The Listening session’s interactions are chats by text only. As a motivation and reward for the volunteers, we can earn certifications for our volunteer work. One small part of the certification is to promote the site. This way more people who could be helped by it know about it. So, I am asking if you will click the link so I can get credit for promoting the site. Also, please pass the link or site/app name to you think might benefit from it. http://www.7cups.com/11630746 Thank You Reececup1986

[rpedia]

Why was I born stupid?

Because babies don’t have fully formed brains? Seriously though, like, no one is born knowing everything. You get smart over time by dealing with experiences, and understanding your abilities and flaws, yet working around them anyways. Don’t be down on yourself, everyone you know is in a constant state of growth, and after every new experience teaches them something their old actions may seem silly. You’re not stupid. You might not feel smart right now though. Go learn stuff about what made you feel stupid. Next time it happens, you’ll know more about it! You’ll have a fresh, new, delicious, informed chance to get better! We learn from mistakes, not perfection. If you never make a mistake, you’ll never figure out another way to do something that could be even better. If you never misunderstand something, you’ll never think about it in a new light. Your brain is built to make mistakes, because it makes us better in the long run. We grow every time someone does something different than they “should” and everyone around them learns from their mistakes too. We’re a vast hivemind of accumulated experiences! And we write them down so more people can learn from them! Humans are awesome like that. You weren’t born stupid. You were born with infinite unique potential, and a blank slate to fill with experiences, both good and bad. Go fill up the tank and keep truckin’.

#support #ask #short answer #you guys #7cups is good for text chat #if you need someone #I'm not a therapist #I can't help you #but you matter #please remember that #I love you kids #Anonymous