study hall. | evan buckley
paring: fem!reader x evan buckley
summary: after handling a call near by reader’s campus, he decides to show up and surprise her after not being able to see her for a few days, and knowing she was probably worried about him
warnings: a slight age difference between reader and Buck (reader is 20 and Buck is 28/29), a little makeout session
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Science is one of the most boring and one of the most confusing things ever. So many numbers and equations. The worst part is, it’s not even what you came to college to study for so you have no idea why you need to take a science class in the first place.
Now studying science in study hall for nearly two hours, that’s just twice the amount of boring. Your friends help you study but your mind is pre-occupied today. You heard the firetrucks go by the library a few minutes ago, and you’re checking your phone every so often.
“He’s fine,” your closest friend tells you. “Don’t worry about him. He’s in good hands.”
You look at your friend and say, “He’s not the only one that I worry about. They’re all my friends and I care for all of them.”
Your friend blinks at you and says, “They’re all okay, Y/N.”
While your friends continue to study, you check your phone to check the news to see if anything has been said about what’s going on nearby. You find out there’s a mutli-alarm fire down the street from your college. You spot the 118 engine in a picture while you’re reading an article.
Deciding to distract yourself, you do your science work. You’ll occasionally check your phone because you’re still worried for your boyfriend and your friends at the 118.
Two hours later, you’re about to pack up to leave study hall when your friend calls your name to get your attention. “I’m not in the mood to talk,” you mutter.
“Maybe not to me,” your friend says. “Maybe you’ll talk to someone else. Maybe someone who you were worried about for the past few hours.”
Quickly, you look up and see Buck, hair wet and wearing his navy blue uniform. A big smile lights up Buck’s face as he approaches you.
“Buck,” you gasp before running up to him and throwing yourself into his arms. He’s quick to wrap his arms around your middle. “I heard the sirens and I was worried, especially when I saw the 118 engine in a picture.”
Buck laughs softly and asks, “Did you really look up to see if the 118 was at the fire?”
You look up at your boyfriend and say, “I don’t do it all the time. Only when I don’t hear from you. I didn’t hear from you.”
“I don’t bring my phone with me to fires,” he says. “I’m okay, though. Just a little wet because the probie drenched me while putting out the fire.”
With a light laugh, you say, “Come with me for a second.” You grab Buck’s hand in one hand and your backpack in another. Your friend waves bye and you disappear into a more secluded area of the library. You drop your backpack and pull Buck into a kiss by the collar of his wet shirt.
He’s quick to kiss you back, grabbing your cheeks with his hands. He walks you backward until your back hits a bookshelf, knocking a few books off the shelf. The books hit the ground with a thud and you smile into the kiss.
Your hands run down Buck’s chest and you hook your fingers into the waistband of his pants, pulling him flush against your body. He knocks you into the bookshelf again and more books fall off the shelf.
“Someone’s gonna hear us if you don’t stop using me to knock books off the shelf,” you say in between kisses.
A snicker passes Buck bucks lips as he kisses you. “I’ve waited too long to kiss you,” he says to you. “You really think I’m gonna stop if someone sees us?”
You think about it for a second before you say, “Okay, true.” Buck laughs before pulling you into another kiss. This one softer than the last one, yet more passionate.
You’ve missed him. He’s been working so much and you’ve had classes. Your schedules never coincide with each other so it’s been a few days since you’ve been able to hug and kiss your boyfriend.
Another few minutes pass and you look up at Buck. His lips are red and swollen from the kisses. “Do you have to go back to work?” you ask, hoping he says no and can come back with you to your off-campus apartment nearby.
“Unfortunately,” he sighs. “My shift isn’t over yet.” Buck pauses. “But, I’ll be back here at six to pick you up because I am taking my girlfriend to dinner tonight since it’s a Friday night, and you’re spending all weekend with me because my twenty-four hour shift ends at five and I have the weekend off from work.”
A smile forms on your lips and you ask in disbelief, “Really? Bobby’s not making you work this weekend?”
Buck shakes his head and says, “He’s not, and I’m not asking for a shift this weekend so I can spend some long overdue time with my beautiful, intelligent, and hard-working girlfriend because I can tell that you need a break from school.”
You peck Buck’s lips and say, “You are the freaking best. I can’t wait for this weekend with you. I get you all to myself.”
“Clothing optional,” Buck says, his voice dropping an octave or two so no one around you hears.
A breathy laugh passes your lips and you say, “Go, finish your shift. I’ll be ready at six.”
After another short kiss, Buck peels himself away from you and says, “See you in two hours.”
“Can’t wait,” you say, watching Buck walk away from you.
Joy fills you as you make your way back to your apartment.
One question remains though: what should you wear when Buck takes you out for dinner?
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also. 15+16 with eddie fluff/comfort including chris because he’s adorable
You Feel Like Home
Eddie Diaz x Reader
Warnings: fem!reader, mentions of alcohol
Prompts: #15: “Did you let yourself in?” // #16: “How did you get in my house?”
Word Count: 2.1k
Author’s Note: here’s a lil something because I haven’t posted a x reader in so long. Also I didn’t check for errors cause I'm lazy so ignore any mistakes :)
It’s raining, the streets were drenching with water and muck which you found yourself staring at as you sat in your car at the intersection.
You had left your job, more like you were fired for something you didn’t do but you hated your job, 100 and 10% despited it and everyone there- needless to say, you didn’t mind not being there anymore.
The shitty weather on top of the idea of having to find a new job was putting more than damper on your day. So here you were in the middle of the day driving to your best friend’s house. He doesn't like to admit that he’s your best friend but he is and you both knew that.
The driveway was empty and the house was dark, at least from what you could see. Hopping out of the car, you make your way to the front door, the rain drenching your clothing. The key to his house hanging from the bunch you held in your hand, you let yourself in.
“Anyone home?” shouting into the dark house, slipping off your shoes.
There was no answer, you assumed Eddie was at work and Chris was still at school which made sense considering it was 2:30 on a Friday afternoon.
A puddle of water trialed behind you on your way to the bathroom, stopping to get a towel from the cupboard. The wet clothes get stripped off and tossed into the tub, making a mental note to come back and put them in the dryer after you get something to wear.
The towel now wrapped around you, you find your way down the hallway and into Eddie’s bedroom. There was a basket of folded laundry on the bed, deciding that it’s probably better to get something from the basket than to tumble through his drawers.
Just as you go to drop the towel, you hear the front door open and then a woman’s voice.
“Shit shit shit” you mumble to yourself and look around the room frantically- there’s no way you could get dressed before the person gets to the room, you have no choice but you stay the way you are.
The footsteps approaching the room, a knock on the door before it opens, Carla sticks her head in the room and you let out a breath of relief.
“Jesus, it’s just you” sitting on the bed, you smile at her and she laughs softly.
“Who’d you think it was hun?”
“I thought Eddie had come home, with a woman. That would have been hard to explain- ya know, a woman in a towel in his bedroom while he’s not home.”
“Mhm hm,” Carla has one of her famous mischievous looks on her face. “Sure, because it’s normal for you to be half naked in his bedroom when he isn't home.” She laughs.
“Were you waiting for him?” she teased, your face twists and you groan.
“Carla! No, god. I had a shitty day and I wanted to hang out. It was raining cats and dogs when I got here and my clothes got wet.” you explain what happened and she gives you a hum, stepping back out and leaving you to change.
You can hear laughter coming from the bedroom down the hall, you make your way there. Chris sat on his bed, looking out his window while he was on the phone.
“Love you too dad, bye” the phone is set beside him on the bed, you knock on the door and Chris looks back, his face lighting up when he sees you.
“Hey kiddo” smiling at the boy who’s now making his way over to you, you step into the room and meet him halfway.
“Hi! What are you doing here?” he asks you, hugging you.
“Came by to see your dad but he wasn’t home. I’m better now because you’re free” looking down at him, Christopher laughs and holds your hand as the two of you walk down the hallway to the living room. Carla brings him a snack and joins the two of you in the living room, Christopher telling you both about his day at school.
Eddie runs to the front door from his truck, the rain had been pouring all day.
“I’m home!” he shouts, as he steps in only for Carla to shush him from the kitchen.
His face screws and he makes his way down the hallway to Christopher’s room but he wasn't in there. Carla sat in the kitchen reading her book, she smiles when he steps in the kitchen.
“Hey, where’s Chris ?” he asks, washing his hands and pulling a pot out of the cupboard.
“Shower,” shutting the book, she slips it into her bag. “You’re going ?” Eddie glances over his shoulder, pouting slightly. Carla always helps him with dinner and truthfully, she’s the better cook out of the two.
“I’ve got myself a hot date tonight” She tells him, giving him a smile before making her way to the front door.
Eddie follows her, “what? really? But who’s going to keep me company while Chris does his homework ?” his hand coming up to his chest as he sighs dramatically.
Carla’s hand meets his, patting his chest. “Chris is done with his work, he had help” nodding towards the couch, Eddie follows her gesture to see you sleep on the couch.
“When did- are those my clothes ?” his mouth hung in disbelief.
Why were you asleep on his couch in his clothes ? He wasn't even home, how the hell did you get in ?
“Mhm hm” Carla hums, a soft laugh slipping past her lips. “Have fun sugar, I'll be back in the morning. Tell lil man I said bye” She steps out, pulling the door shut behind her.
The pattering of feet pulled Eddie’s attention away from a sleeping you on the couch.
“Dad!” Chris’s smile lit up the room, Eddie found himself smiling at his son.
“Hey buddy” he kneeled to hug him, holding him close after a long day at work.
“How was work ?” Christopher asks his father as the two make their way to the kitchen.
“It was a fine, normal day of us saving the city” Eddie chuckled, smiling at his son who was sitting at the table now. “Hey bud?”
“Mhm hm ?”
“When did y/n get here?”
“I don’t know, she was here when me and Carla got home” he shrugs, turning his attention back to something Eddie had left out on the table.
Eddie is half way into the fridge and it was down to its bare bones. A carton of milk, two eggs left in a tray and a half used stick of butter - guess he had forgotten to go grocery shopping yesterday.
“How does pizza for dinner sound?” Eddie turns to Chris who’s nodding eagerly. Pizza was the way to that kid’s heart.
dinner was short, the boys talked about their day. Chris told his father all about his day at school and how they learned about the atmosphere and space in science class and Eddie told him about a resume they had today - the safe for work details of course, he always left out the gruesome parts.
“So Carla told me y/n helped with your homework ?”
“Yeah, I only had math work to do. It was easy”
Eddie hums, it was still relatively early and a Friday afternoon, he thought why not have a movie night.
“Here’s the plan for tonight, you tidy up your room real quick and then we can build a fort and have movie night. How does that sound ?”
“Like a plan!” he smiles at Eddie before getting up. Eddie sits at the table watching Chris make his way into the hallway and towards the bathroom.
The sound of a snore brought him back to reality, he remembered you were still on the couch asleep. He quietly got up and made his way over, crouching in front of the couch.
You looked at peace, which was strange to him because the two of you are always bickering or poking each other about something. The only times he had seen you smile was if someone made fun of him or if you were with Chris - he had never actually seen you relaxed.
“Take a picture and leave or I'm filing a restraining order” you mumble sleepily. Eddie laughed, you were always teasing him about his stare.
Eddie stands, lifting your legs and sitting before dropping them down onto his lap. “How did you get in my house? Did you let yourself in?”
“I used the key” rolling onto your jacket, you shift upwards slightly. The disapproval on Eddie’s face was very much visible.
“I gave you that key for emergencies!”
“It was an emergency!”
Eddie sighs, his hand rubbing the piece of bare skin showing from the rolled up pants. The room is quick, the sound of the rain pouring echoed through the house.
“What’s on your mind ? I can practically see the wrinkles forming on your face”
“Hey!” you nudged him with your foot while he laughed. “Nothing,” sitting up to face him properly. “I just had a shitty day and wanted to see my bes- my friend.”
A small smile appeared on his face. “Your what ?” “Shut up Eddie”
“No no, say it” he grabs your foot, his fingers reaching to the sole of your foot. Your eyes widen, shaking your head. “Don’t you dare.”
“Oh but I do” he smirks before tickling the bottom of your foot. You try to pull your foot away but you’re laughing and wiggling around on the couch so much that you end up rolling off but your foot is still on Eddie’s lap.
There you were lying diagonally off the couch with your feet on his lap. He shifts to the floor, now sitting beside you. The two of you have your backs up against the couch.
“Seriously, talk to me. What’s up ?”
“Just wanted some company. Work was shitty and I- I don’t know. I didn’t know where to go. There’s nothing waiting for me at my place, the weather’s kinda depressing so I didn’t want to go drinking because it would just make me sad” you chuckle, turning your head to face him.
“I got in the car and just drove and I ended up here. This is home, you know? ” you admit. Humming, he smiles.
“I’m glad you felt like you could come here.”
“Well I know you couldn’t kick me out. You love me and my puppy face too much” you pout playfully making his laugh before nudging you with his shoulder.
Eddie’s arm is now over your shoulder, pulling you into his side. “You’re welcomed here anytime.” he presses a kiss to the top of your head.
Tilting your head from his shoulder, you're now face to face with him. There had always been unspoken feelings between the two of you, everyone could see that - even the two of you.
He leans in, a hand cupping your cheek like it was chiseled to fit the curve of your structure perfectly.
The palm of your hand wraps around his wrist, leaning closer to him.
This was the moment you were waiting for.
“DAD!” Chris shouts, causing Eddie to pull away. Not that either of you minded but there does that moment.
“Yeah ?” His hand was still cupping your cheek. “Can we watch a movie now?”
“Of course, pick one out.” He moves his hand to give the remote to Chris, you cheek cold from the loss of touch.
The 3 of you settle into the couch, Christopher between the two of you. The boy settled on Space Jam though he had seen it a million times.
Eddie’s arm is stretched over the back of the couch. It was bent at an awkward position, his fingers barely grazing your cheek, letting you know that he’s right there.
The two of you shared stolen glances all night, watching each other more than the movie. Eventually Chris fell asleep between the two of you.
You felt safe, peaceful, home.
This felt like home.
taglist: @hailsstormthings @averyhotchner @captainxholmes @advicefromnixxxx @keenmarvellover @beth-winchester21 @fernandaweasley2 @yikesyikesyikes95 @hotchsdarling @duhbar1975 @dralexreid
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Reader Insert Week Day 3
Word Count: 1,553
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader
Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz, @fireladybuckley, @winterreader-nowwriter, @dayrin085, @spnheartfic, @alexandrianicolegrey-oc, @mrspeacem1nusone, @park-it-here-bitches, @iamasimpingh0e (want to be added to my tagslsit? Just send me a message!)
Prompt: smut “Look at me when you cum.”
Written for day three of @911readerinsertweek
Thank you to @thatnerdemryn and @firemedicdiaz for your help with this fic <3
You and Buck had been out at a family member's wedding. You weren’t particularly happy, the relative being distant and having to spend one of your only weekends off work there rather than with Buck at home. The only saving grace was your plus one, Buck, and the fact that you both had a room at the very fancy hotel the wedding venue was attached to.
The ceremony ran smoothly and you both enjoyed the free food and drink. When the pair of you had your fill of socialising, you managed to slip free of the celebrations, picking the hotel key card up on the way to your room. You snuck out with Buck, both a little tipsy and both giggling as you snuck past your family members towards the elevators.
The first thing you did when you entered the room was take off the heels you’d been wearing all day, sighing a breath of relief as you massaged each foot. You watch as Buck does the same, slipping off his dress shoes, followed by his blazer and tie, popping a few buttons to make himself more comfortable.
“Here, let me,” Buck offers. You nod in permission, turning so your back was to him. He gently begins taking out each grip and pin from your hair, setting them down on the vanity, letting down your tousled hair.
You sigh in relief as the tension on your head from the tight updo is released, “God that’s so much better,” you breathe out. Buck seems to take the hint, gently massaging your head. You let out a moan as you feel his hands drift lower, massaging at your neck and shoulders, his hands seeming to find each knot and expertly working the tension from your shoulders. You feel his hands move from your shoulders to the back of your dress as he reaches for your zipper. He gently, almost teasingly pulls it down, releasing you from the garment.
You step out of the elegant black dress, turning to face him as he begins to fiddle with his cufflinks. You place your hands over his, echoing his words from earlier as your fingers gently caress his wrist, “here, let me.”
Buck nods wordlessly, eyeing you hungrily as you take your time, as he did, slowly unbuttoning and freeing him from his shirt. Spurred on by seeing you in nothing more than your underwear, he unbuckles his belt, stepping out of his trousers. You rest your hands on the smooth planes of his pecs, rubbing your thumbs back and forth against his warm, soft skin. You lean forward placing a kiss on his chest and feel as he reaches behind you, skilfully unclasping your strapless bra; tossing it across the room to join the rest of your clothing.
Buck kisses back, his mouth moving delicately against yours at first, earning a moan from you. He takes the opportunity to slip his tongue between your parted lips, revelling in the taste. You fist one of your hands in his hair, the other round the back of his neck, holding him close to you.
“Buck…” you breathe. The pair of you back up against the foot of the bed, Buck pushing you the rest of the way, his hands roaming down the curves of your body, bringing them to rest against your hips.
The firefighter stares up at you with adoration, “you’re so perfect,” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful.” He can’t help himself as he pulls you closer to him, moving his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth. He skilfully licks and sucks, applying just the right amount of pressure, until you’re breathless, your chest heaving.
He moves to the other, grazing his teeth over the sensitive spot, his other hand massaging your free breast, his thumb rubbing gentle circles, teasing and pinching. He can tell just how worked up he has you as he splays his hand across your chest, pausing for a moment as he feels your heart pounding fiercely against his palm.
“Someone’s excited. Got you all worked up, haven’t I?”
Not wanting to be outdone or have Buck miss out on the attention, you slip out from beneath him, feeling a wave of confidence come over you as you push him back on the bed. Buck, however, is having none of it, rolling you over with ease so he’s on top, he flashes you a teasing smile, “I don’t think so sweetheart, tonight's all about you.”
He leans down, placing a kiss to your lips, your neck, moving lower as he kisses between your breasts, dipping his tongue into your navel as he passes it the further south he moves. As he moves further down, he spreads your thighs apart, positioning himself between them. You grab a fistful of his curls, guiding him to the sensitive spot between your legs.
“Please…” you moan.
The sight of Buck between your legs has you completely undone as you lift your hips further up to meet him. He places a firm hand on your abdomen, pushing you down. “I don’t think so sweetheart. I want to take my time with this.”
Content with going slowly, loving the sight of you writhing beneath him, Buck slowly strokes the sides of your waist, his strong, calloused fingers rubbing soothing circles as he drags them across your stomach and back down to your thighs.
The firefighter lowers his lips, his hot breath teasing your entrance as he presses a thumb between your outer folds. You hear him hum, no doubt as he feels the slickness there, knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. You feel one of his hands move from your thigh, using his thumb and index finger to spread your entrance. You feel him sigh, causing a shiver of anticipation run through you. You’re still unprepared as his tongue makes direct contact with your clit, causing you to jump as a jolt of electricity runs through you, Buck holds you firmly against the bed, however.
“You’re loving this aren’t you?” he whispers in a low growl. “Look at me when you cum.”
A moan is the only reply he gets from you, your eyes closed as you revel in the pure bliss he’s bringing you.
You open your eyes at the endearment. “I want you to look at me when you cum,” he asks again, more demandingly.
You open your eyes, meeting his, the lust in his eyes only fueling the overwhelming feeling building inside you. With your eyes on his, he begins to tease your clit with the tip of his tongue; using light pressure, flicking before he moves to more forceful licks, occasionally sucking at the nub. He could feel your pulse quickening where his fingers pressed into your thigh, your femoral artery bounding against his touch.
You cry out his name once more, but one quick look at Buck shows that he isn’t letting you get off that easily. He sits back, pulling off his boxers, revealing his stiff cock, already aroused just from getting you off.
With the loss of contact, your need for him only grows, and seeing his cock causes a new hunger to rise within you. As soon as he’s back between your legs, you grip his hips tight enough that you’re sure there’ll be bruises in the morning and pull him towards you. He doesn’t seem to mind, responding with a moan of his own.
“You ready for me sweetheart?” he asks, not that he needs to at the sight of you.
With that, Buck lines himself up, going slow as he gently slides into you. He allows you a moment to adjust to his size before he begins teasingly thrusting into you, building up the speed and depth gradually.
“No,” you whine as the intensity of his first thrust, wanting, no, needing more from him, “Please, Buck” you practically beg.
“I love you so fucking much, sweetheart,” a grin spreads across Buck’s face as he leans in. The kiss is gentle at first before it turns more aggressive, his thrusts matching as he begins to pound into you. You can feel the familiar tingling sensation spread through your lower body, your thighs quivering, your walls clenching against him as Buck easily brings you to the edge again.
“So close…” you whimper in response.
“I know, baby girl,” he replies, his grunts growing louder as you both draw nearer to the edge.
A few more thrusts and the pair of you can’t contain it any longer, your orgasms almost in sync as you moan Buck’s name loudly into the quiet room causing Buck to respond with a grunt of his own.
Buck pulls out carefully, discarding the spent condom before laying down next to you. The pair of you are a panting mess as you lay side by side.
“God...that was....” you let out a giddy laugh.
“Yeah…” is the only response you get as you both take a few moments longer to catch your breath.
Buck smiles, leaning across, placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head and pulling you into his chest. He pulls up the blanket from the foot of the bed, covering the pair of you, content to drift off in each other's arms after the eventful night.
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this is what happens when you binge watch bondi rescue and 911 at the same time my friends <3 ..... don’t think too hard about the timelines though..... let’s just let that one go, eh?
“Is this you?” Eddie asks, as he returns to the kitchen holding a photograph aloft. He’s gesturing to the man in the picture, who despite Eddie having asked about in the first place, is clearly a slightly younger Buck.
He’s standing at the water’s edge wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses and stark red board shorts, with his arms crossed against his bare chest in the face of the golden light of an early sunrise. In the faded, grainy distance the Santa Monica pier is nothing more than a dark line on the horizon, and behind him in the surf, Buck’s body casts a long shadow at his back across the small waves.
He’s grinning from ear to ear, and Eddie can’t deny he looks good.
“You were a lifeguard?”
Buck smiles wistfully at the photo for a moment, though he still looks a little bashful at the clear display of posturing his younger self is doing in the picture, and he ducks his head at Eddie’s gentle ribbing.
“Seasonal, when I first got to LA. I was kind of…obsessed with the ocean? I guess?”
Eddie doesn’t comment on the past-tense, though its presence is certainly felt in the air between them, along with the reasoning behind it.
Buck’s smile starts to slip, no doubt remembering the tsunami and the crap that came with it, and Eddie can’t have that, so he claws at the fading cheer instead, determined to wrestle his friend’s good mood back into action, at any cost.
“Did you ever run in slow-motion?” He asks, nudging Buck’s shoulder only to get an eye-roll in return. “Just humming the Baywatch theme tune to yourself?”
“You know, racing across the beach, holding on to the red buoy—”
“We actually just used the rescue-boards for the most pa—”
“Desperate to save the hapless victim in the surf.”
“Your hair blowing in the breeze—”
“You can literally see my hair in the photo Eds—”
“Hey do not mess with my fantasy.”
And Buck actually chokes on his drink at that, but his coughing fit soon peters off into genuine laughter and Eddie thinks smugly to himself, mission accomplished, before understanding dawns and he realises exactly what he’s just confessed to.
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Friends With(out) Benefits
Evan Buckley x Reader
Buck and (Y/N) have been best friends with benefits for months. What will happen when Abby comes back?
Warnings: Angst. Fluff.
Requested by: @park-it-here-bitches
@xfirespritex | @hardcorewwetrash2-blog | @shadow-of-wonder | @wardl0w | @helluvawriter | @tryingtofindaplaceinthisworld | @moxleysbaby | @lustyromantic | @the-iridescent-phoenix | @bull-moose-penguin | @mrspeacem1nusone | if you want to get (un)tagged let me know
After Abby left, Buck was a mess. It took a lot to get him out of the hole he was in. He didn’t really want to go out and do things, so I respected him and his journey, and I let him have his time for himself. But when it started dragging out, I stepped in. I couldn’t watch him drag himself and mope around anymore. She definitely didn’t deserve it.
I was there for him every step of the way. I went on hikes with him, we went running, we went to the park, to the cinema… we did endless things, and eventually he started to feel better and started to become himself again. He smiled again. He made jokes again. He was playful again. He was Buck again.
We were only friends at that point, nothing had happened between us. Sometimes the sexual tension was so evident, a blind man could see it. But we both ignored it every time. Until that night.
That one night, out of nowhere, it happened. We did it. I don’t know how, or why, but we just didn’t resist each other. I don’t even know who initiated it. But it was mind blowing and intense, and we just… repeated. For months. So Buck and I have been seeing each other occasionally for almost a year now. No, we’re not dating. Just friends with benefits, no strings attached.
Actually, we are best friends. We do everything together, we talk about everything, we’re attached to the hip. And, well... we happen to have sex some times. Really great sex.
He didn’t date anyone else or had any side chicks in the meantime. I didn’t either. We never really discussed it though. And in all honesty, I didn’t want to. Nor could I still be with him knowing he was having sex with other girls.
Deep down I knew I was in for some hard, difficult shit. I knew after a month or so that I was in love with him. Deeply, madly in love with him, but I chose to ignore it. It would ruin everything, and I would lose him completely. I couldn’t afford that. So I just buried those feelings deep down in the furthest unreachable spot in my soul.
Or so I thought.
Lately, he’s been a little… off? I’m not sure that’s the right word for it though. He’s just been somewhat distant, I think. Lost in thought, not talking much. He hasn’t been his full self lately and I honestly don’t know why. Maybe I’m overthinking it, scared shitless that he’ll get tired of me or that he’ll find someone he truly loves. So I try to shake those thoughts off.
Today, Buck and I had made plans to order some pizza and watch our favorite TV show tonight. He’d actually be here, in my apartment, in about 10 minutes, if he doesn’t show up late of course.
I’m arranging the couch, setting it all up with a couple of blankets and pillows as well as napkins, two cups, water and Coke, for our cozy and comfortable dinner. Our show is already ready to start on Netflix.
I finish it all up and check the hours on my phone. 9:03PM. He’s late. I check my messages. No text from him. Maybe he got caught up in work. Or maybe he’s still in the gym. Sometimes he gets caught up in his workouts and loses track of time. So, I just sit on the couch and wait for him.
And I waited… and waited. An hour has passed and he’s a no show. So I decided to call him, as I was starting to get worried. It wasn’t like him to just not show up and not say anything.
It rings, and it rings… Nothing. I’m starting to feel really anxious. Has something happened? I’m getting really worried. I was about to give up and end the call when he finally picked up.
“Hi you. Is everything ok? Are you ok?” I reply, the anxiety and worry evident in my voice.
“Hey (Y/N).” He greets, but he sounds off. And he called me by my first name. Weird. Usually, it’s either ‘babe’ or ‘love’. “I am. I’m sorry I’m late. I ran into someone, and I just lost track of time.”
Sure, he ran into someone. Someone that made him forget all about me and the plans we had made. Plus, I know him so well… the way he said it, I just know there’s more to the story. More so that he definitely doesn’t want to elaborate on.
“Ah. I see. It’s fine.” I can’t stop myself from sounding upset, because I was. “I guess I’ll see you some other day then.”
“(Y/N), I -”
“Bye.” I cut him off and hung up on him.
The hot sad tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes, finally started to fall freely. I was so looking forward to seeing him and he just… ditches me and doesn’t even bother to let me know he’s not coming. I guess that’s what I get from being such a dumbass.
My phone starts ringing. It’s Buck. I sigh as I decline the call. A few seconds later, it starts ringing again. So I just declined the call again, then put the phone on silent. I just can’t talk to him right now, if I do, I know I’ll say things I’ll regret later.
He then messages me, saying he’s sorry and telling me to meet up with him for breakfast at a local cafe we usually went to. Getting no reply from me, he sends another text.
It was all it said. Yet again, I couldn’t find it in me to reply. I just needed this night’s rest to cool off myself and my thoughts. So, I just switch the TV off and go to bed, hoping to get a good night of sleep.
I saw the time at 2 AM… at 4 AM. I didn’t sleep that bad, but I didn’t sleep well either. My brain spent the night trying to make sense of all that’s happened, my subconscious was definitely trying to come up with a reason or a solution for the situation. But obviously, it ended up with nothing.
Eventually, I drifted off to sleep again. I slowly get woken up by the rays of sunshine coming through the window. I grab my phone from the nightstand. It’s 8:23 AM. My first thought, obviously, went to Buck… He wants to meet at 9 AM.
And I honestly don’t know if I should go or not. After giving it some thought, I ended up deciding to go. I owed it to myself. So I just get up and go for a quick shower, before putting on my favorite and comfiest sweatshirt and leggings. Throwing my hair up in a ponytail, I take a last glance in the full length mirror, mentally giving myself a final pep talk.
I walk down the road, feeling the wind on my face as I try to calm the anxiety in my chest. Failing miserably, obviously. When I finally arrive at the cafe, I take a deep breath before walking inside. Once I do, I quickly spot Buck on a table at the corner.
He’s fidgeting in his seat nervously. He had his chin resting under his hands, then he rubbed them down his face right before he also spotted me. Getting up to meet me halfway, he sighs in relief, shooting me a small and shy smile as he locks his gaze with mine. But I quickly avert it.
“(Y/N), you came.” He states shyly, sounding truly relieved as he motions me to our table.
I clear my throat slightly before replying, but my voice still gets out a bit hoarse. “Yeah, I’m here.”
I can’t bring myself to fully face him and look him in the eyes. Not yet. But I can feel his eyes on me. His deep sigh makes me look up at him. And seeing his sad puppy blue eyes just twists my insides.
“I can see you’re still upset about yesterday…” He trails off, as if he’s waiting for a reaction but I give him none, so he continues. “I’m so sorry, babe. I promise I didn’t forget about you. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”
Oh, so he wanted to forget about me. Nice to know. His brows scrunch up a bit and I just know he knows what I’m thinking, but he didn’t comment on it.
“I just… I ran into Abby and we got to talking, and I lost track of time. I know it’s no excuse, but I swear that’s what happened.” He confesses, his voice soft, as his eyes never left my face, carefully studying me.
I let out a sad chuckle, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Of course. Abby.” I start getting up, back to avoiding his gaze. “I should’ve known better.”
“What? Where are you going?” He asks hurriedly, his voice slightly shaky. “(Y/N), wait up!”
I don’t even bother replying, even though I could hear him call out for me. I just want to get out of there. I pretty much ran home, with tears streaming down my face the whole way. I’m so angry at myself. I knew this would happen. I fucking knew, and I just let myself believe this could be different.
Kicking off my shoes, I then curl up in a ball on my couch, crying. It hurts so bad. My chest hurts. I can literally feel pain on my body.
A few minutes later, someone starts knocking incessantly on my door.
“(Y/N)? Babe? Please, open the door.” He pleads through the door. He waits for a few seconds before knocking again. “I know you’re in there, I can hear you crying. Babe, fuck… please, let me in.”
He waits another few seconds and then… Suddenly, I hear the door unlocking, revealing a very distressed Buck.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t want to use your spare key but you left me no other choice. I considered this an emergency.” He explains himself as he walks around the couch. His face falls so hard when he locks his eyes with mine again.
I can’t stop the sob that runs through my body solely from looking into his beautiful baby blue eyes. He kneels on the floor, right next to the couch, resting his chin on the cushion, as he starts caressing my hair.
“Oh baby, I’m so sorry I did this to you.” He says genuinely, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m not with Abby, nor do I want to be with her. Just for the record.” He clears that out.
“You still ditched me to be with her.” I reply heartbroken, my voice almost not understandable.
“I didn’t ditch you. I was still planning on coming here. But then you called and hung up on me and I just…” He trails off, not knowing how to finish that sentence.
So I finished it for him. Excruciating pain stabbing through my chest as those words left my lips. “You just spent the night with her instead.”
“What? No! Why the hell would you even think that?” He spits out in utter shock, pulling back from the couch and sitting down on the floor. “We just ran into each other, and grabbed a coffee to catch up. That’s all it was. I’m over her, I have been for a long while. I thought you, out of everyone else, would know that.”
“What do you mean?” I can’t stop the question from leaving my lips.
“Jesus, (Y/N)... Are you blind?” He asks, sounding almost desperate. “I’ve been trying to tell you this for weeks, but I just didn’t know how.”
Oh shit, this is it… This is how this all ends. This is how I lose my friend… my best friend. So I took a deep breath, and I just waited… I waited for him to pull the trigger.
“I’m yours, babe. I have been for so long now.” He finally admits as he looks at me lovingly, and all I can do is stare at him with my mouth hanging open.
After some time of thick silence, I sit up on the couch as I finally manage to say something. “Evan, what are you saying?”
“I’m saying I’m in love with you, (Y/N). I’m saying I love you.” He clarifies what he meant easily, love written on his features and now, I feel like crying from happiness. Buck got off the floor and joined me on the couch, shyly taking my hands in his. “I wanted to come clean sooner, but the fear of losing you and ruining what we had just… took over me.”
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear that from you.” I confess emotionally. “I’m in love with you too, Evan. I’ve loved you for so long.”
“I was kind of hoping you’d say that.” He chuckles lightly, and God… how I loved that smile. His smile starts fading as he starts leaning into me, his gaze moving softly from my eyes to my lips a couple of times.
“Shhh.” He cuts me off, silencing me gently, as our lips are so close. “Let me kiss you.”
It’s not like we hadn’t kissed before, but...The way he said it made my stomach flutter so hard. I’ve never felt this way before. I love this man so much.
As soon as we kissed, electricity ran through my body. First he pecked me a couple of times. I returned his kiss fiercely, cradling his face in between my tiny hands. His tongue soon begged for entrance in my mouth, and I happily granted it. He pecked my lips a couple of times before pulling back.
“Babe… I want you to be my girlfriend.” That’s all he says, before probably realizing he’s supposed to be asking me. “I mean, do you want to be my girlfriend?”
“What do you think? Of course I do.”
He smiles so wide, he could lit up the whole world.
“I was kind of hoping you’d say that.”
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It Isn’t in my Blood
Prompt: Inspired by @kitkatpancakestack‘s “what if Buck finds the pamphlet“ post
Pairing: Implied future Buddie - Evan Buckley (Buck) x Eddie Diaz
Word Count: 2,330
Summary: SPOILERS - A 5x01 missing scene - Buck finds the pamphlet on anxiety and panic attacks given to him by the cardiologist at the hospital and encourages Eddie to tell him what happened. Eddie breaks down and admits that maybe not everything is okay.
Beta’d by @firemedicdiaz Thank you babe <3
Read it on Ao3
“I’ll just be a minute, you staying here?” Eddie asked, hopping out of the truck and looking over at Buck.
“Sure, sounds good,” Buck said, yawning. Eddie nodded and closed the door, hurrying up the sidewalk as Buck settled back in his seat. It had been such a long, chaotic shift and Buck was exhausted; Eddie just had to drop off a form at Christopher’s school and then they were going for breakfast. Buck figured he had time for a short nap and shut his eyes, but sleep wouldn’t come.
After a while it became apparent that Eddie was going to be longer than he’d said, and Buck was getting restless. He grew bored quite easily of late, so he began poking around Eddie’s truck - changing the radio station, fiddling with the air freshener. Absently, Buck hit the button on the dashboard that opened the glove box in front of him and looked down into it, wondering if there were any travel brochures left in there from a previous road trip that he could look at. Instead, he pulled out a very different kind of pamphlet that looked like it had been shoved in carelessly and as he read the front, his eyebrows contracted with a small frown.
Understanding Anxiety and Panic Attacks - Recognize the Signs and Symptoms
Underneath the pamphlet were a couple of folded sheets of paper. Upon quick inspection, Buck saw that they were discharge papers from the hospital dated a few days earlier with Eddie’s name in the patient field.
Buck’s heart squeezed painfully as he stared at the slightly crumpled papers and then back at the pamphlet, realizing what it must all mean. Buck had been startled earlier in the shift when that doctor had called out to Eddie, but Eddie had been very resistant to talking about his trip to the hospital. Buck had dropped it for the time being as they had been chaotically busy the entire shift, but he had always intended to grill Eddie about it later. Now, he suddenly understood what must have happened. He knew from experience how scary panic attacks could be, how they could feel like a heart attack, especially if a person had never had one before.
He remembered how uncomfortable Eddie had looked when Buck had tried to confront him. Buck knew how much Eddie relied on everyone thinking he was this stoic, unmoving rock, because it allowed him to hide his feelings and keep everything bottled up. Buck was well aware that he himself and Bobby were the only two people that Eddie ever opened up to, and it made Buck’s heart hurt as he considered how shaken up Eddie must have been by the whole incident to be so resistant to telling him about it.
Buck sighed, wishing he had known, thinking about how he could try to help Eddie as he skimmed the pamphlet. He wanted to help, hating the idea that Eddie could be going through this alone. He distinctly remembered how Eddie had tried to drag Buck out of his horrible depression and anxiety after the fire truck had crushed his leg and he wanted to be there for Eddie in turn. Buck knew that Eddie had Ana, but if Buck was right about their relationship, he suspected that Eddie would be uncomfortable talking to her about his emotions. He’d always had the feeling that while Eddie clearly liked Ana and they got along well, their relationship wasn’t particularly deep and Buck knew that Eddie had to really trust someone before he would open up.
Lost in his thoughts, Buck was still looking at the pamphlet in one hand, the discharge papers held loosely in the other, when Eddie returned.
“Alright, that’s all done, let’s go t-- Buck, what the hell?”
Buck jumped as the driver’s door opened and Eddie swung himself inside, only to freeze when he saw what Buck was holding and reading through. Buck started to stammer as Eddie snatched the papers and pamphlet out of his hands and threw them back into the glove box, snapping it shut and staring straight ahead, his chest rising and falling quickly, his jaw set.
“Eddie, I-I’m sorry, I wasn’t trying to snoop, I just found that in the glove box and I couldn’t help looking at it…”
“It’s fine. It’s nothing.” Eddie’s voice was clipped, and Buck could tell he felt vulnerable and was not pleased about it.
“I mean, it’s not nothing,” Buck replied cautiously in a coaxing tone. He hadn’t been planning on talking to Eddie about this before breakfast, but then there was no time like the present. “Is this why you were in the hospital the other day?”
Eddie shot him an annoyed look, because it was obvious that Buck had seen the discharge papers so the question was redundant, but then he sighed and nodded.
“Yeah. I’m fine though.”
“Eddie… you’ve been through so much. There’s no shame in having a panic attack--” Buck began, but Eddie started the truck and cut through his words sharply.
“I don’t panic.”
Buck frowned as Eddie pulled away from the curb and began to drive without saying another word. Deciding to give him some space for a few so he could collect his thoughts, Buck stayed silent as they moved through the streets. To his surprise, Eddie pulled up in front of Buck’s apartment building and parked, still looking straight ahead.
“I… thought we were going for breakfast?” Buck asked slowly, not sure what to expect. Eddie seemed to steel himself, then glanced towards the building and shut off the truck.
“I know you’re not going to let this go, and I don’t want to do it in public. Let’s go up to your loft.”
Eddie’s voice was gruff, but Buck was grimly pleased that he wasn’t resisting. Buck knew that Eddie knew Buck would not let this slide, would not let it rest until he was sure that Eddie was okay. Taking his lead, Buck agreed and hopped out of the truck, following Eddie up to his building and then leading the way into his apartment.
“Let’s get this over with,” Eddie said in a resigned voice as he moved into the kitchen and leaned against the counter, Buck pulling himself up and sitting on the counter across from him. “What do you want to know?”
“What happened?” Buck asked simply. “I know you went to the hospital, you were seen by a cardiologist, and now you have a pamphlet on panic attacks. What actually happened?”
Eddie gnawed the inside of his lip, still refusing to look at Buck as he mulled over what to say. He was staring at the lower part of the counter in front of him, Buck’s shoe dangling in his line of sight, though he wasn’t seeing much. All he could see in his mind was that damn suit store, the feeling of the tightness in his chest making him feel claustrophobic and deeply uncomfortable.
“I don’t know. We were trying on suits, and then I just… collapsed. I thought I was having a heart attack,” Eddie summarized it as succinctly as he could, but he knew it wasn’t going to be enough for Buck.
“Okay, but what triggered that?” Buck asked, his voice gently prodding. “Did something upset you, or…?”
Eddie shifted uncomfortably, and Buck’s lips curled in a small, sad smile.
“Eddie, it’s just me. You can talk to me. You know you can trust me. Please tell me what happened.”
For a brief moment, Eddie lifted his eyes and met Buck’s gaze. Buck’s expression was earnest, concerned, and Eddie knew he was right. If there was anyone in this world he could trust, it was Buck. Still, he hated talking about his emotions, especially ones he felt like he couldn’t control. And yet, he felt like if he didn’t share it with someone he may explode because he was starting to seriously wonder what was going on in his brain.
“I… you know I’m not good at this,” Eddie muttered, and Buck nodded.
“I know, but… you were there for me when everything with my parents was going on. You told me it was okay to feel what I was feeling, and to share it. I want that for you, too,” Buck told him gently, and Eddie sighed. He felt like a hypocrite; he had told Buck those things, and he had meant it. But for some reason when it came to himself, he had different rules.
“The last time Chris and I wore suits was at Shannon’s funeral,” Eddie said, averting his gaze once more as he began to speak. “I guess that was already putting me on edge. I couldn’t stop thinking about her death and everything that had happened right before she died. I just wanted to get out of there.”
Eddie paused but Buck didn’t say anything, not wanting to interrupt. Buck had a feeling that if Eddie stopped talking he wouldn’t start again so he waited patiently, keeping his mouth shut.
“I think Chris was feeling it, too, but I was too distracted to notice. And then… then the sales guy called Ana Chris’s mom.”
Buck tilted his head to the side, looking over at Eddie, slightly confused. Eddie and Ana had been together for nearly six months, it was only natural that at some point she would be mistaken for Chris’s mom. But Eddie seemed shaken and Buck wasn’t sure he was going to continue.
“What happened then?” Buck asked quietly, trying to gently prompt Eddie to speak again without spooking him. Eddie had gotten a somewhat haunted look in his eyes and Buck could tell he was getting upset. He was tempted to tell Eddie to stop, not wanting him to be distraught, but he sensed Eddie really needed to get it out there, so Buck would do everything he could to coax it out.
“I- I genuinely don’t know,” Eddie said, shaking his head. “Hearing that, it just… it intensified my thoughts about Shannon, and thinking of Ana as Chris’s mom is just - just so far beyond where we are in our relationship, and I- I…”
Eddie was starting to get visibly upset and Buck slipped off the counter, moving over to stand beside him in case he needed support.
“It made me realize that m-maybe I don’t want-- maybe things aren’t going so great, or something. I don’t know.”
“And then?” Buck prompted gently, feeling his heart break as Eddie glanced at him, clearly upset.
“And then… I don’t know. I don’t panic,” Eddie said stubbornly, though as he thought back to what had happened, he let out a long, unhappy sigh. “But… I guess I panicked. I don’t know. I felt overwhelmed, and my chest got tight and I couldn’t breathe… I got really dizzy and fell over, I thought I was having a heart attack.”
“Panic attacks can be really scary,” Buck told him, trying to reassure him. “They can definitely feel like heart attacks.”
“I don’t panic,” Eddie repeated, scowling at the floor. “I never panic. Not in the military, not when Shannon died, not when you nearly died several times…”
“Eddie, you’ve been through a lot,” Buck reasoned, trying to brush off the last part of the sentence, as though it wasn’t a big deal to him that his near-death experiences were one of the things Eddie considered most upsetting. “Do you think the shooting could be part of this? Or is it just your relationship?”
Eddie shifted uncomfortably again, not responding, and as Buck watched him, he saw tears start to pool in Eddie’s eyes, despite Eddie continually refusing to make eye contact.
“Are you okay?” Buck asked quietly, reaching out and touching him, gripping Eddie’s forearm lightly in a gesture of support. This one little touch seemed to have caused him to come undone, however, and Buck saw his expression contort, his lips pressed together tightly as he tried and failed to stop himself crying.
“No,” Eddie finally blurted out, seemingly completely against his will. “No, I’m not okay.”
Buck’s heart broke and he immediately reached out to embrace Eddie, giving him a chance to pull away if he wanted. When he didn’t, Buck wrapped his arms around him and held him as Eddie choked into his shoulder, trying desperately to stop himself from outright sobbing. It was rare that Buck had seen Eddie cry - he hadn’t seen it since Shannon’s death - and Buck wished he could take Eddie’s pain away, wished he could make the world right for him again.
After a few moments Eddie squirmed in his arms and Buck got the message that he was uncomfortable so he pulled away, but he didn’t go far. Eddie seemed determined to not meet his gaze, furiously wiping at his eyes, and Buck gently rubbed his back, sensing that he really wanted comfort but was trying to stop himself from allowing it. They stood like that for a while, until Eddie’s attempts at stopping his tears dissolved and he took a shaky breath, letting them slip down his cheeks as he pulled himself together.
“It’s okay to not be okay sometimes. You’re going to get through this,” Buck told him, his hand stilling in the middle of Eddie’s back. “And I’m gonna help you get through it, if that’s what you want.”
Eddie swallowed, sniffing, as he listened to Buck speak. He’d always gone through things alone. He’d always thought that was the best way to do it. But in that moment, standing there, knowing he had Buck’s full love and support behind him, Eddie started to wonder if maybe having Buck at his side would be a much better option than going it alone. Eddie nodded slowly, glancing at Buck for a moment before looking away, nodding again.
“Yeah,” Eddie took a shaky breath and looked over at Buck, feeling the tiniest flicker of hope in his heart. “That’s what I want.”
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Requested: yes [x]
Prompt(s): none [my prompt list]
Warnings: nightmare kinda angst
Word count: around 940 (let's pretend it's 1k)
Author’s note: There is literally not a single gif on this planet that can portray what this fic brings so guess WHAT? I'M BRINGING A YOU A RANDOM EDDIE GIF :))))
MASTERLIST // IMPORTANT
The house was silent, stripped off any signs of life as you entered it. Of course, the feeling didn’t come from an actual break in, where your boyfriend and his son were dead in bed. Actually, both of them were sleeping, quite deeply too, as they didn’t hear the dramatic falling of your keys.
The metallic thud reasoned through the hallway, and you cringed, listening to the vibration of your key meeting the floor.
A few seconds later, your features eased, and you heaved a relieved sigh. Knowing no further damage was done, you kicked off your shoes and slipped into your slippers, feeling the ease instantly. After a day of constant buzzing in a busy hospital, making sure everyone and everything was in order, you were done for.
You didn’t try to tidy up the mass of gadgets that were scattered around the living room. It was obvious that the boys had a few friends over, as chips and joysticks were miss matched across the table. You did turn off the glowing TV, shaking your head at them in amusement as you did so.
After dropping your bag on the kitchen counter and flicking off the remains of the glowing lights, you padded across the house, stopping in front of Christopher’s door. The door was wide open, and you found yourself leaning against the door frame to watch him adoringly. With a soft smile against your features, you watched him sprawled over his bed like a starfish, with fists curled like he was ready to fight someone. He was snoring lightly, showcasing just how dead asleep he was. You walked into the room and turned off his bedside lamp, letting the darkness swallow the room whole.
You emerged into the dimly lit hallway a second later, excited about the fact that Eddie’s warm embrace was a minute away. The door of the bedroom was slightly opened and moonlight seeped through. Pushing the door open, you walked into the room and stopped in your tracks, your heart in your throat.
Sprawled across the bed, with sheets pooled at the feet, was your boyfriend. Sweat was covering his body and he trashed around every few seconds. He looked trapped. Trapped in his own mind, where his thoughts troubled him. It was a matter of seconds before you bolted toward him, jumped on the bed and scooted over. You shook him lightly, once or twice, feeling his sweaty arms under your palms. Eddie was breathing heavily, murmuring words you could barely catch on to. At one moment you could have sworn to yourself that what coated his face wasn’t sweat, but tears.
“Baby, wake up,” you said urgently, feeling as if cotton was clogged in your throat. You blinked back tears twice before he finally woke up. Your heart didn’t stop spinning in your chest.
It took his some time to get used to the liberty, but when he did, you exhaled in relief. A flood of soft, quiet reassignments escaped your lips when you brought his shaking head to your chest. You hugged him tightly, scooting over until you were almost in his lap.
Eddie’s hands were digging into your hips, holding onto you like you were his lifeline.
In a sense, you were.
“You’re okay, baby,” you whispered, kissing his head continuously. “You’re okay…”
Eventually, you lost count of how long it passed since you first found him.
But the longer he was in your arms, the better he seemed to get. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. So much.”
“You feeling better now?”
You looked him over as he leaned across the counter from you, a cold, iced drink in hands. After he took a shower and changed into a clean pair of PJs, Eddie looked somewhat okay. You doubted he would go to sleep after what had happened, even though he needed the rest more than anything.
Your boyfriend nodded, taking a large swig of water. Before he even noticed that he finished the glass, you ducked down into the freezer and pulled out several cold cubes. Your fingers burned under the ice, but you didn’t reflect on it as you took the tall glass from his hand and refilled it. With your front to the sink and your back toward him, you asked, “Mind telling me what dream had the audacity to scare you like that?”
You could see his shoulders roll, even with your back to him. Then a second later, two pairs of strong, muscular arms traveled around your waist. He hooked himself onto you like a koala, yet careful not to put too much weight on you. His embrace was so comfortable that you almost fell asleep.
“Life sucks,” Eddie told you solemnly, sounding convinced.
“No it doesn’t.”
The commanding voice that left no further room for arguments didn’t belong to you. It sounded two decades younger, and boyish. A voice that would belong to a boy for a short slice of his childhood, before his beard started to grow and his voice deepened.
Eddie detached himself only halfway, as a hand was still glued to your stomach even when the other one wasn’t. He looked at his son with adoration. “Oh yeah?”
Christopher nodded, padding across the floor of the kitchen. Eddie grabbed him wholly and almost threw him in the air. Laughter echoed in the room and the atmosphere felt light again.
Deciding then and there that you weren’t going to push Eddie’s bad dreams further, you leaned into the conversation, forgetting how tired and worn out you were.
“Hey Chris, what do you think about dream catchers?”
MASTERLIST // IMPORTANT
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wherever we go, it'll be together
Buck and Eddie were sitting at the table, the remnants of their dinner littering the table. They hadn’t had the energy yet to get up and start the dishes. Christopher had gone to his room to get some homework done before they watch a movie while Buck and Eddie got the dishes done. So far, though, no luck.
Buck had been over more and more since Eddie’s breakup with Ana— it finally felt like things were going back to normal. To how it was before they both got girlfriends, before Eddie was shot, before it felt like there was this distance between the two of them that neither liked but neither knew how to fix.
Eddie’s breakup with Ana hadn’t been exactly messy, but it wasn’t as amenable as Buck and Taylor’s— those two had known they weren’t meant to last. Buck wanted a family, he wanted to settle down. Taylor was riding the high of her career— as she should, she had worked extremely hard to get to where she was and Buck was happy for her. However, their needs didn’t match up and it had started to become a problem.
But things were finally getting back to normal for the Buckley-Diaz family— and that’s what they were, a family.
The quiet, comfortable silence was broken by Christopher coming back into the kitchen, a confused frown on his face and what looked to be a slim stack of homework in his hands.
“Hey, dad? Can you help me with my science homework?” Christopher asked softly, coming up beside Buck and leaning into his side. Buck wrapped an arm around Christopher’s was it, in part to keep him steady but mostly because the quiet, casual affection from the boy he privately considered to be his and Eddie’s warmed his heart in a way nothing else did. He loved that Christopher was comfortable with him, that he sought out affection from Buck, it made Buck feel wanted and worthy like nothing ever had before.
Eddie winced. “I’ll try, buddy, but you know science isn’t my forte,” Eddie replied, looking to Buck for help. Social studies and history Eddie could do but for science and english, Eddie always looked to Buck for help. Neither of them, however, could do math.
Christopher giggled. “I know, daddy. That’s why I asked dad!” He said, leaning more heavily against Buck and putting the papers he was holding down in front of him.
[continue on ao3]
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I just noticed that we reached 10,000 Buddie fics on Ao3!! nice job guys!!
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30. “Ok, yeah. This is exactly what it looks like.”
Hello! Thank you so much for sending the prompt. I hope you enjoy. 💫 Warning: contains 5x2 spoilers.
ficlet starter lines: 30. ok, yeah. this is exactly what it looks like.
It's way past two o'clock in the morning when Buck finds himself on Eddie’s couch; he's uncomfortable, maybe because it's too hot in Los Angeles or more likely because he's terrified.
A resume of what happened a few hours earlier: he and Eddie shared their first kiss and one thing lead to another, he ended up in Eddie’s bed and don't get him wrong... it was amazing. Best sex of his life, no doubt. Feeling Eddie complete him in every way possible was an out of body experience. There's only one problem, Buck loves Eddie. No, no. He doesn't just love Eddie. He's in love with Eddie.
Why is that a problem? Maddie would ask him if he was brave enough to get the phone and call his sister. Well Maddie, — the voice of reason inside his head sounds a lot like hers — the problem is that Eddie’s last relationship was based on what his son felt. And it's no secret that Christopher and Buck love each other.
What if- what if Buck is just Ana 2.0? Something convenient and comfortable?
He hides his face with his hands, bites his lower lip and controls himself not to cry. He can't cry. Crying would probably wake up Eddie and then he would have to share his insecurities... he can't. Not now. Not when the love of his life is finally healing, going to therapy, working on himself. He can't be a weight on Eddie's life.
"Baby?" the smooth and sleep voice calls him, the same way it did earlier when they were in bed.
Buck didn't even notice when Eddie arrived in the living room, but his immediate answer is something straight out of a romcom.
"It's not what it looks like," he says, like he was actually doing something.
"No? You're not spending the night on the couch after our first time?" Eddie asks, carefully taking a seat next to Buck. "Did I hurt you? Are you alright?"
"OK, yeah. That's exactly what it looks like. And I'm physically alright."
"A penny for your thoughts?" Eddie asks in a lower tone, his hand moves to Buck's hair, he caresses it slowly and Buck closes his eyes to enjoy the sensation.
He could- he could play pretend forever if it meant having Eddie.
"The truth, Evan. Please," Eddie begs, almost like he can read the younger man's mind.
Buck looks at him, his blue eyes full of unshed tears when he decides to ask the question.
"Are you with me because of Christopher?"
Eddie is surprised, Buck can tell by the way his expression changes, but he's nothing but patient and calm when he cups Buck’s face.
"I'm with you because I'm in love with you. Because I love you and I know it took me forever to understand my feelings, but Evan Buckley, don't think for a second that there's another reason but you for us being together. And, I fell for you way before Christopher did."
Buck lowers his head, trying to hide a smile. Eddie touches his chin, making Buck look at him one more time.
"Can I prove you wrong?"
Buck nods, his eyes meet Eddie’s.
"How do you want me to do that?" Eddie asks. "Do you want to stay here and talk? Do you want to go to bed and talk or do you want me to-"
"Make me yours," Buck interrupts. "Like you did earlier. I have always been yours. Remind me that you're-"
Eddie kisses him, and in less than a minute Buck is on his lap and they're making out like two people who waisted too much time. They did. And in every kiss, every touch, every praise, Eddie reminds Buck that he was always his as well.
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I have no idea where this came from, other than that I saw the screenshots of Chris snuggled up next to Eddie in bed, and the next thing I knew, I was in @loveyourownsmiilee‘s DMs trying to get thoughts down in between work tasks. Then I was in a word doc cleaning it up, and now we’re here. Enjoy!
Eddie flexes his ankle, drawing his toes up and pushing them forward as far as they’ll go before they’re pressed up against the metal railing at the foot of the bedframe. It’s not much movement, but it’s enough to stave off the cramp threatening to wrap itself around his calf muscle. And that’s a hell of a lot more than he can say for the stiffness building up in his lower back.
He doesn’t fit on a twin bed anymore. He can make it work, if he’s the sole occupant, curl his knees up to his chest and deal with it for a night. But tonight, even though he’s halfway sitting up, shoulder blades digging into the drywall behind him, he doesn’t fit. One leg is dangling off the side, toes brushing the floor. Eddie chuckles to himself about days gone by, when Chris was afraid of the Boogeyman and had to have both arms and legs tucked tightly under the covers.
Back then, Eddie could fit in the bed with him, all eight of their limbs sheathed from bad dreams and monsters under the bed. Tonight, he’s hanging off the edge of the mattress, Chris’ face squished up against his hip.
It's been long, so long, since he's spent the night in this room, and as he looks around between the shadows, he wonders if they shouldn't think about redecorating. The rocket ships and cartoon planets on the wall feel a little juvenile for the years his son has been alive. Buck would probably help if they asked. No, he definitely would, there’s no doubt in Eddie’s mind. But that doesn't matter right now. They’re not going to redo anything tonight. Because for the first time in ages, Chris – who's 11-and-a-half by now, the and-a-half only as of last Tuesday – and starting to refuse even a high five when Eddie drops him off at school - practically begged him not to leave when he popped his head in.
Chris was meant to be asleep, but he'd been staring at the door like he was waiting for Eddie. These moments are starting to become few and far between; every day it’s like his son needs him less and less. Objectively, Eddie knows that’s a good thing, that it means he's succeeded as a parent and raised a kid who’ll grow up to be independent. But sometimes it’s hard to let go of how things used to be.
So who is he to turn it down when Chris asks him to stay, voice thick with unshed tears?
He's old enough to watch the news now, even if he doesn’t understand all of it. Eddie figures he probably saw the 118 at the structure fire tonight, right before the house came down almost on top of them. That would explain why he's so attached right now, why he’d pushed for an extra half-hour watching TV before bed. He’d even been willing to watch MASH, and tried to promise that he wouldn’t interrupt or ask any questions, but Eddie had held firm.
Tomorrow’s spelling test waits for no man, and Chris has a bowl of ice cream riding on his ability to spell entertain in the morning. But an hour later, Chris still hadn’t fallen asleep, so Eddie had settled down next to him, on top of the covers, still in his jeans. He’s sure he still smells like smoke even though they’d all showered at the station; it usually takes an extra scrub to get the lingering odor to fade.
Eddie could probably shift down or up if he tried, but he'd risk waking Chris up, so instead he pulls him a little closer, arm wrapped around his shoulders and tucks his own chin into his chest as his eyes droop closed.
He'll ache in the morning, in his joints and his heart, but it'll be worth the extra cup of coffee he'll drink on the way back to the station.
Because his son will know that Eddie is there for him, always, whenever and however he needs him.
Even if it's squeezing onto the edge of a twin bed.
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The Covid Crush
Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings: mentions of covid, injures and fires, a lil steamy make out session, mentions of babies and pregnancy, chim being disgusted by y’all (jokingly)
Word Count: 2k
Author’s Note: based on Buck’s “covid crush”
The line rang a few times before he picked up. “Buck’s phone, you’ve reached.. Buck” he laughed making you smile. Even though he couldn’t see you, he always brought a smile to your face.
“Hey you” you said, pushing the door shut with your foot.
“Hey! Aren’t you at work ?” he asked, you could hear the voices on his end getting quieter with each step he took.
“I’m on a break, I thought I'd call and check up on you. How are things at the station ? Is everyone okay ?”
“Yeah, everyone’s alright for now. I’m good too, thanks for asking” you could practically hear him roll his eyes over the phone. “Oh, forgive me. How are you doing today, Evan ?” you laughed, “I'm good, I'm off at-” the bell went off.
“That’s my cue, talk later?” he asked, the sound of his heavy footsteps jogging down what you could assume was the stairs.
“Of course, be safe Buck” you said, “always.” he replied, ending the call.
Although you and Buck weren’t together, you still worried about him, especially with everything that was going on now. It was like your heart was out of your body and running aimlessly into fires everyday. You originally met Buck though his sister, Maddie because you worked with her at the call centre. Buck had come by to see her or pick her up, ending with the two of you bumping into each other. Over time, you became friends and hung out a few times, seeing each other at Maddie’s for game night too. You weren't sure when it turned into something more but you wouldn’t want it any other way.
Maddie walked into the break room, “hey” she smiled at you, “hey” you took a sip of the coffee in front of you.
“Is that coffee ?” she stopped in her tracks.
“Yes it is, there’s a fresh pot”
She made her way over to the coffee pot, “one cup Maddie, you know the rules” you mumbled, she shot you a glare. “not you too” she groaned, pouring the hot liquid into a mug. “Hey! I'm doing baby Buckley a favour here” you raised your hands playfully. “yea- wait, what did you just call my baby ?” she looked over at you once more, “baby Buckley ?” your brows furrowed, it wasn’t anything strange.
“Y/n, have you been hanging out with Buck ?”
“Your brother ? No, why ?” you lied to her, you didn't want to but the two of you made a promise to each other to keep your little conversations a secret.
“He calls the baby, baby Buckley” she laughed
“Well it is a baby and you are a Buckley, so that makes sense” you smiled at her and got up, “gotta get back to work, see you out there?” you asked, she nodded.
“Enjoy your coffee, one cup remember!” you hear her groan at your reminder as you walk back out.
The phone rang, you were driving home from the call centre. Tumbling through the console in the middle, you find your phone. Buck’s cheesy contact picture popped up. It was some selfie he had sent you during the holidays of him dressed as Santa to help Eddie surprise Christopher.
“Hello Evan” you answered his call, he groaned rather loudly. “Everything okay there, big guy ?”
“y/n, what did I tell you about calling me Evan ?” he asked you, you laughed, “nothing worth mentioning my darling, how was your call ?”
“It was fine, the regular day for me, pulling people out of burning buildings” he sighed.
“Just a few bumps and bruises on the family but they’ll be fine” he replied made you smile, he could be so oblivious. You truly wondered how he was a firefighter sometimes. “That’s good but I was asking about you” you turned into your building parking lot.
“Oh,” he laughed, “I'm fine, also a few bruises but nothing too bad”
“Heading home for the day ?”
“Uh, no. Eddie wants to get home to Chris so I'm picking up his shift for him.”
“Oh, that's sweet of you Buck”
The door opens on his end, you walk up the stairs to your apartment. “Is that your little covid crush?” you can hear Chim ask him, Buck groans.
“Stop harassing me Chim, why don’t you go call your girlfriend or something?” Buck mumbles, Chim laughs.
“Hi Buck’s friend, I'm Chim!” he shouts so you could hear him which made you laugh. “I’d tell you to tell him hi but I feel like that might get us in trouble won’t it ?” you asked as you kicked off your shoes. “Yeah, I'll talk to you later hun ?” he asked you.
“Yeah, if you work overnight, call me tomorrow ?”
“Oh, Buck ?”
It’s the crack of dawn, literally and your phone rings. The only person that could be calling you now had to be Buck. Squinting your eyes at the brightness of your phone, you pick up and groan. “Hm what is it ?” you mumbled, rolling back onto your side, your phone against your pillow.
“Oh my bad, I thought you had work this morning, that’s why I called” he whispered, now realizing that he woke you up. “It’s cool,” you yawn, “going home now?”
“Yeah, what's the plan for today ?” he asks, you hear the Jeep’s engine come to life.
“Uh maybe some grocery shopping and catching up on Netflix. I have a shift tonight. What about you ?”
“Maybe some sleep, a shower and back to work. Oh I also have to do groceries, Chim keeps eating everything in the house” he groans making you smile.
“Why don't you just send him home? Maddie’s working too, he’ll be fine.”
“I don't want to be mean, you know? He let me crash at his place. Speaking of Mads, how’s baby Buckley doing? you see her more than me” he chuckled, as do you, remembering your conversation with Maddie
“Good, they’re both good. You know, I called the baby, baby Buckley and she asked if I had talked to you recently”
“Hm, did you tell her no?”
“No, I told yes”
“Buck, I'm kidding, relax”
He let out a sigh which made you laugh. It wouldn’t be horrible if she knew but you guess he wanted to keep it on the lows, it's only fair that you respect that. There was a pause in the conversion, Buck was humming along to the song on the radio, soon enough he started singing. He was 100% off-key and you could hear the tapping along to the beat on his steering wheel as well. You laid in bed listening to him sing off key for a good few minutes until he called out to you.
“You know, I could pick up some stuff from the store for you, if you wanted ? I can just drop it off later” you offered
“That would be nice, thanks. But uh- maybe you could actually stay when you drop the stuff off ?” he asked
“Don’t you have work?” you asked, the sound of his footsteps thudding up the stairs, you figured he got home.
“Yeah, but if I’m an hour late, it’ll be fine” once again, there’s a pause in the conversation but it comes for your end this time.
“Y/n?” the shower is running on his end, he sounded distant, the phone was on speaker.
“Just checking my schedule, what time does your shift start ?” you question him
“9, what about you ?”
“9:30. I’ll see you tonight Evan, enjoy your shower”
“Sleep well babe” he hung up, you tossed your phone to the other side of the bed and went back to bed.
Buck opened the door, taking the bags from you. “Come in, thanks for these” he raised the bags and rested them on the counter.
“How much do I own you?” he asks, your back turned to him while you wash your hands.
“Don’t worry about it”
“No, c’mon, this is a lot” Buck leans against the counter, you turn towards him. There’s a little bruise on his cheek and a scratch mark by his chin, your hand comes up and cups his face. His hand wraps around your wrist as your thumb rubs the scratch mark on his chin, Buck turns his head slightly to press a kiss to the palm of your hand.
“I’m okay” he whispers, his other hand finding your waist, pulling you closer to him, your chest against his.
“I know, doesn't mean I don’t worry” your hand comes down from his face to his chest, both of your hands now resting on his chest as you look up at him. Buck’s arms wrap around you as he picks you up and spins you around.
“Evan! Stop it!” you laughed, grabbing at his shirt, he sets you down on the counter. Buck stood between your legs, his hands rubbed at the sides of your thighs. Your legs wrap around his waist as his arms wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into a bone crushing hug. “I take it, you missed me?” you mumbled with your face squished against Buck’s chest. “More than you know” he kissed the top of your head.
Your phone buzzed, ruining your sweet moment. “Who is it ?” he asked, holding up the phone, the time was 8:45. “Alarm, I gotta go sweets, I have work soon”
“Oh come on, you can be late one day, right ?” He kissed your forehead
“You have work too” you reminded him, he ignored your comment, kissing down from your forehead to your cheek.
“Buck, don’t” you muttered as your hand came up to the back of his head, your fingers tangled in his hair. You knew the game he was playing and it was a dangerous one.
“10 minutes” he mumbled, his lips against your skin, now moving down to your neck.
“5 minutes” you bargained with him. Buck laughed and shook his head, “you know we’re gonna be here for more than 10 minutes right ?” His hands cupped your face as he leaned in for a kiss, one of your hands grabbed his shirt and pulled him closer to you, closing the gap between the two of you. Buck’s hands slid down from your face to your chest and then to your stomach, ending up on your hips. You pull on his shirt, he lets go of you for a moment to pull it off and then his lips are back on yours.
The two of you are so wrapped up in each other that you don't notice the front door unlock, Chim walks in to find the two of you making out in the kitchen. Buck’s shirt is on the floor, Chim picks it up and tosses it at the two of you.
“Are you guys serious ?” he groans as he shuts the door. You pull away from Buck, a blush across your cheeks. “Hey Chim,” Buck laughed, pulling back on his shirt. “Thought you had work ?” Buck asks, Chim shakes his head. “I’m done, shift changes in an hour.”
“You guys couldn't have made out in bed or something ? Like a normal couple ?” Chim asks, you and Buck reply at the same time, “we’re not a couple” the two of you look at each other and smile.
“Whatever, but c’mon! I eat breakfast there guys, that’s gross” his face screwed with disgust making you laugh. “Sorry” you gave him a smile, looking over at him, now on his way to the bathroom. Buck’s hand comes up to your chin, pulling your attention back to him, his lips are on yours again.
“You guys do know you're breaking the social distance regulations right now, right ?!” Chim shouted from the bathroom, you could hear him laughing.
“Shut up!” Buck shouted back, his hands cupping your face and pulling you back in for another kiss.
taglist: @ssa-volturi @dralexreid
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Word Count: 1,455
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader
Warnings: Mentions of fall down the stairs, broken bones and injury that comes from it.
Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz, @fireladybuckley, @winterreader-nowwriter, @dayrin085, @spnheartfic, @alexandrianicolegrey-oc, @mrspeacem1nusone, @park-it-here-bitches, @iamasimpingh0e, @gigglyparker @faithie-brock-gillespie01 (want to be added to my tagslsit? Just send me a message!)
Prompt: Angst or Hurt/Comfort "Hurts." "I know. It's going to hurt some more, okay?" "Deep breaths. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
Written for @911readerinsertweek
Beta’d by the amazing @spnheartfic thank you lovely 💕
Request fill for @faithie-brock-gillespie01
Being a firefighter was easy. Running into burning buildings? A walk in the park for you. Abseiling down the sides of buildings or into sinkholes? Just another day at work for you. You faced danger at work every single day, rarely coming away with injury, yet you were still one of the clumsiest people when it came to everyday life. As skilled a firefighter as you were, it just didn’t seem to transfer. One person who knew this more than anyone else was your boyfriend, Buck. He’d had to patch you up more times than either of you could count, from scraped knees from tripping on the sidewalk to mishaps with knives or hot pans in the kitchen.
Lately you’d been racking up the overtime at work, leaving you with a lot of down time. While you were thankful for the time off, you were sad that Buck wouldn’t be joining you. Still, it’d give you the day, undistracted, to catch up on the mountain of laundry you and Buck had produced. Buck had left earlier that morning, with a kiss and the promise of you being careful as he walked out of the door. You’d rolled your eyes at his warning, but knew he meant it as he gave you a knowing look before leaving.
You and Buck had been texting in between calls and laundry loads. The firefighter had complained that he was bored but not even daring to text the “Q” word in case he jinxed his team for the shift. It was the next text alert that had distracted you as you were carrying another load down the stairs. With no free hand, you can’t catch yourself as your foot slips, rolling your ankle as the momentum sends you tumbling down the hardwood stairs, cracking your head as your body slams into the floor.
You’re not sure how long you’re out for. Wincing as you open your eyes, confused as you’re no longer in the loft separating darks and lights, but in a heap of dirty laundry on your back at the bottom of the stairs.
Your breath begins to come in quicker as the shock of the accident sets in. Slowly you move each arm, testing for injury. Finding you’re able to move each limb you move on to each leg, letting out a cry of pain as white hot plain flares in your leg. The jolt of pain alerts you to the pain in your head, feeling around you’re met with an egg shaped lump forming at the back of your head.
Steadying yourself, you fumble around, attempting not to move too much as you reach into your pocket and pull out your phone. You try Buck first, trying to not let your emotions cloud the logical part of your brain as he doesn’t answer. Sending up a silent prayer they’re not on a call, you try the next contact in your list, Chim.
You sigh a breath of relief as you hear the phone click and his familiar voice. “Y/N, knew you couldn’t stay away for long. Missing us already?”
The way your voice falters as you say his name has him immediately on high alert, “Y/N, what’s wrong?”
Taking a shaky breath, trying to not let your emotions overwhelm you, you reply. “I-I fell down the stairs,” you hiccup, “I think I tripped? I can’t remember. I can’t get hold of Buck. Are you on a call?”
“Take a deep breath, we’re at the firehouse. I’m going to go get the others and we’re going to come and get you alright? Did you lose consciousness at all?”
“I-I can’t remember. I remember being in the bedroom, folding laundry and then at the bottom of the stairs.”
“I need you to stay still and try and stay awake for me, okay?”
“Okay,” you reply, a little less shaky now you know help is on its way.
You hear shifting in the background, and then Chim explaining to your colleagues, your family what had happened. Buck’s voice sounds in the background, becoming clearer as you hear him taking the phone from your friend.
“Hey, sweetheart. What did I say about being careful?”
You let out a chuckle, forgetting about the throbbing pain in your ankle for a moment at the sound of Buck’s voice.
“Don’t you know by now, I never listen.”
You hear Bobby shouting for Buck to follow in the background, shortly followed by more shuffling and the muted sound of sirens as the 118 pull out from the station. Buck stays on the phone the whole journey, only putting the phone down as you hear the keys fumbling in the lock as your friends enter the apartment.
He’s by your side before you even have the chance to fully process the arrival of your crew. “Y/N, sweetheart. It’s alright, I’m here. Don’t move alright,” he soothes, giving you a once over for all signs of external injury.
“I’m alright…” you begin.
“Let us be the judge of that,” Chim cuts you off, setting his equipment at your side.
Usually, you’d be embarrassed having the whole team’s focus on you, but truth be told you were in so much pain, you didn’t care.
“If you really wanted to see us that badly, you just had to come down to the station. This is a bit extreme,” Hen announces from your other side.
You let out a chuckle, groaning as the movement causes a fresh wave of pain to radiate through your head, “Ow. Don’t make me laugh, it hurts too much!”
You know by the looks on the faces of your friends surrounding you that the next part isn’t going to be pleasant. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Hen getting the equipment ready to stabilise your leg, with Buck stabilising your head, you hadn’t gotten a good look at your injury but the feeling alone tells you it’s broken.
“We’re going to have to stabilise your leg before we move you. I’m not going to lie to you, it’s going to hurt,” Chim warns.
Although Chim had given you painkillers to take the edge off, you knew this was still going to suck.
“Hurts,” you wince, letting out a cry of pain as the medics jostle your leg while they slide the splint underneath you.
“I know. It’s going to hurt some more, okay. Deep breaths,” Buck soothes. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” you can tell how much it’s hurting Buck seeing you in pain, so you do your best to hold in your cries. Thankfully the pain is short lived, a combination of the break being splinted and the medication kicking in.
It doesn’t take long for Hen and Chim to stabilise you, a collar around your neck and secure you to a backboard, despite your protests.
The team leaves you in the capable hands of the doctors, Bobby shoving Buck through the doors he’s usually not allowed to pass into. He waits in the waiting room much to his own protests, allowing the doctors to triage and settle you before he can see you.
It’s not long before you’re x-rayed and cleared and Buck is allowed to see you again. The look on your face doesn’t take a genius to work out that the doctors had most definitely given you a stronger dose of medication if the grin on your face when Buck walks through the door means anything.
Buck acknowledges the nurse fiddling with your pillows, ensuring your leg was elevated and your IV was okay.
“Hey sweetheart, how’re you feeling?”
“Good. This is Mike!” you point towards the nurse, “He’s great. Do you know what else is great?”
Buck looks between the pair of you, shaking his head but playing along, “What?”
“Morphine!” you reply with a goofy smile.
“Good stuff, isn’t it?”
You nod vigorously in return, groaning as the action hurts your head, despite the drugs in your system.
Buck’s at your side in an instant at your pain, smoothing back your hair and placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Take it easy.”
“Doc says you’re going to have a cast. Going to be out of the job for a few weeks. I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay…” you reply sleepily. “I’ve got you…but there’s one thing,” your eyes begin to droop and Buck knows consciousness will be leaving you very shortly, “you can do the laundry from now on.” You emphasise your point by poking his chest, snuggling into his comforting embrace.
“Deal,” Buck chuckles. He pulls up a chair making himself comfortable, his hand never leaving yours, rubbing soothing circles on the back of your hand as you drift off to sleep.
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put all my pieces back together (where they belong)
spoilers for 5x03 Desperate Measures
Eddie sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. He knows he did the right thing, he does, but his guilt still lingers in the air along with the remnants of her perfume. He hates how uncomfortable he feels standing in his own home, his own kitchen. He hates that he feels like he’s failed somehow, like he’s still failing all the time, like he can’t just be good at this one damn thing—and all of it’s making his skin crawl.
After the break-up, Eddie decides to bake cookies with Christopher as a form of stress relief, but first he has an incredibly messy kitchen to clean...
read on ao3 here
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Daddy Is Here
Evan Buckley x Reader
Buck comes home after a late shift, only to find his two girls sleeping in their bed.
@xfirespritex | @hardcorewwetrash2-blog | @shadow-of-wonder | @wardl0w | @helluvawriter | @tryingtofindaplaceinthisworld | @moxleysbaby | @lustyromantic | @the-iridescent-phoenix | @bull-moose-penguin |if you want to get (un)tagged let me know
I check my phone, it’s 11:13PM. Evan isn’t home yet and won’t be until later, considering his last two texts. I just saw them, considering I had fallen asleep on the couch with Emmy, who’s still asleep on top of me.
Hey babe, you asleep already? [10:03PM]
Looks like it. Sleep tight, baby. I’ll be home asap. Love you ❤️ [10:07PM]
Three days. Buck is yet again working a late shift. Three days without having him home for dinner. Three days without having him sing Emmy her favorite lullaby. I knew when we got married what I was signing in to, but that didn’t make it any easier to go through some of these days.
When it was just me and him, somehow it was a bit easier. It was simpler. We didn’t have much to worry about. I’d do some extra work sometimes, the other times I’d just chill out and watch a movie, maybe make a bubble bath for myself or even work out a bit. But since Emmy was born, it's been tougher.
I have little to no time to myself, but that isn’t the major issue for me, because I can totally make it work. The thing is… I just miss Evan. Emmy misses him too. She asks for him all the time. Sometimes, at night, right before going to sleep, she throws such tantrums… Jesus, it’s so hard, and I just know it’s because she wants her daddy’s cuddles and readings so she can sleep peacefully.
This is such a difficult situation. I know I should probably say something to Evan, but I just can’t find it in my heart to do it. He isn’t at fault, and it’s going to take a toll on him… I just know it. So I’m stuck. I don’t know what to do.
On one hand, Emmy and I need him home, by our side, making memories, watching Emmy evolve day by day. On the other hand, I know it’s his job and that it’s something he just can’t control, and I definitely don’t want him feeling bad about it.
And I know he’s doing his absolute best. Most of the time, he’s clearly exhausted when he gets home and he still plays with Emmy, gives her a bath, puts her to sleep, and still manages to talk to me about how our days went and have some “us” time.
There aren’t enough words to describe him. Or a word that can just summarize him. He’s so much. He’s an amazing firefighter. A fantastic husband, lover and partner. And an even better father.
Well, anyway... he sent the texts an hour ago, and still hasn’t come home, so I take it’ll still be a while. I carefully cradle Emmy in my arms so I can take her upstairs. Once I do, I put her down gently on our bed, caressing her small blonde curls softly.
I go brush my teeth before switching to my pajamas and joining her in bed. It takes me a few minutes to fall asleep, but I eventually drift off to sleep.
I’m sleeping soundly when I’m suddenly woken up by Emmy’s loud crying. I reach out to her, rubbing her tummy gently, trying to soothe her and calm her down, when I feel a larger hand on top of mine.
“Hey baby, it’s okay, I’ve got her. You can go back to sleep.” Evan whispers sweetly, right before he pecks my lips a few times.
“No, babe. You haven’t had any rest, you go and get some rest. I’ll take care of her.” I mumble sleepily, rubbing my eyes as he picks Emmy up. I reached out to the nightstand and checked the time on my phone, it’s 3:40AM. “It’s super late. Or early. You should sleep, baby.”
“(Y/N), it’s okay. I miss my baby girl, I can spend some time with her. I’ll change her diaper and get her to sleep.” He replies with a soft smile on his face. “You can use some rest too.”
“No ‘buts’, babe. I’ll be right back.” He cuts me off, planting a kiss on my forehead. Then, he turns to face Emmy, whispering gently to her, as left to her room. “Daddy is here, baby girl. Daddy missed you so much.”
I didn’t fight him anymore. He had his mind made up. It’s almost 4 in the morning and, despite being exhausted, he wants to spend time with his daughter. I love this man so much.
Cozying up under the sheets, I drift off to a light sleep. After a while, I feel the bed shift beside me. I couldn’t tell how much time had passed though. I had barely registered my thoughts when I felt his arms snake around my waist, pulling me close to him.
“Emmy is asleep. She loved having daddy tuck her in.”
“I bet she did. She loves you so much.”
“I love her too. And you. So much. More than words can say.” He whispers against the side of my neck. I could feel his smile against my skin. “I love you so much.”
I turn slightly so I can fully kiss those lips that always fit so perfectly against mine. He tightens his hold around me.
“I love you too, Evan. So goddamn much.”
Give me feedback???
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congratulations on your milestone, love! could i request 5 with buddie? :)
Sure thing, love <3 Thank you for all your support and friendship (and betaing!) over the last while, you are simply awesome. :)
#5 - “At least let me clean it.”
“You sure you don’t need help with those?” Eddie asked, watching Buck’s biceps bulge as he lifted a heavy metal crate.
“Nah, I’m fine,” Buck said, grunting as he hefted the crate high into the air and slid it onto its shelf. “It’s a good workout!”
Eddie shook his head as Buck flashed a grin at him, then shrugged and moved on.
“Alright, I’m going to start inventory on the medical supplies then.”
“Sounds good to me,” Buck agreed easily, turning back to the stack of metal crates containing extra equipment and lifting the second one.
Eddie moved over to the area where they kept the medical supplies and began counting, feeling his eyes start to cross within moments. Doing inventory was always one of the most boring jobs, but he and Buck had volunteered to start while the others went on a medical call, figuring the earlier they started, the earlier they could be done.
Eddie was halfway through counting boxes of sterile gauze when he heard Buck let out a wordless yell of alarm, then a deafening crash of metal and a cry of pain. Eddie dropped the boxes of gauze he was holding and bolted over to where he’d left Buck. The first thing he saw was one of the metal crates on its side on the floor, its contents spilled everywhere. Second was Buck, sitting on the floor where he’d clearly fallen over, clutching a hand to the side of his face and looking pained.
“Buck! Are you okay?” Eddie asked in alarm, hurrying over to him and kneeling down at his side.
“Y-yeah, I think,” Buck said, wincing as he held onto his face. Eddie reached up and gently pulled away Buck’s hand, though the other man tried to resist. Eddie wrinkled his nose and inhaled a little sharply, seeing a jagged cut along Buck’s temple and over his cheekbone that began oozing blood down the side of his face the second the pressure from his hand was removed.
“Ouch, that looks like it hurts,” Eddie said, leaning closer and examining the edges of the wounds. “Come on, let’s get you patched up.”
“I’m fine,” Buck groaned, pushing Eddie away with his clean hand and struggling to his feet, gripping the shelving unit to pull himself upright. Eddie followed him, watching as he swayed on the spot, reaching out to steady him.
“Buck, I need to make sure you’re okay,” Eddie said, and there was a command somewhere in his voice that Buck automatically responded to, turning towards him but looking wary. “At least let me clean it.”
“Fine,” Buck muttered, grudgingly allowing Eddie to put a hand on his back and lead him away from the mess he’d made, sitting down on the bench as Eddie brought him into the locker area. As Eddie ran off to get a med kit, Buck touched the side of his face, wincing at the sting of the wound and the feeling of his blood on his fingers. He could feel it slipping down his neck, slowly soaking into the collar of his shirt and he shuddered, hating the sensation.
Buck realized he could feel pain on his arm as well and pulled up the short sleeve of his shirt, noting that the cloth was ripped. Sure enough, there was another cut underneath that had soaked blood into the fabric of the sleeve and now oozed sluggishly down his arm in its absence. Buck swore, running his clean hand through his hair in frustration. Why did he always have to get hurt? Was it really so much to ask to go through a two week period without having to get patched up at least once?
Eddie returned with the med kit just as Buck was twisting his arm around to look at the wound and shook his head.
“Got you twice, huh? What happened, exactly?” Eddie asked, sitting down on the bench next to Buck and digging through the med kit for the supplies he needed.
“I was lifting one of the crates and it tipped over a bit when I tried to get it on the shelf. I guess it wasn’t closed properly because several pieces of equipment fell out onto my face. Lost my balance and dropped the crate,” Buck sighed, thinking of all the stuff he was going to have to clean up afterwards.
“Are you alright? Did the equipment hit you hard, or just cut you?” Eddie asked, trying to ascertain if Buck could be head-injured, looking for the maglite.
“No, it just cut me,” Buck replied. “I fell over because I tried to back up too fast and tripped, not because it hit my head.”
Eddie noticed that Buck sounded a bit embarrassed but shook his head slightly, dismissing it. It could have happened to him just as easily; if he’d had a cascade of heavy metal equipment falling towards his face he’d have backed up in a hurry as well.
“Going to check your pupillary reflex anyway, just in case,” Eddie said and Buck nodded. Buck looked up obediently and held still as Eddie shone the light into each of his eyes, checking his pupils. “Looks good, thankfully.”
“This is probably going to sting,” Eddie said apologetically as he unwrapped an antiseptic wipe next and turned to Buck. Buck sighed and sat still, not really bothered as Eddie cleaned the cut on his arm. It stung a little, but it wasn’t terrible. Buck was far more focused on the feeling of Eddie’s hands on his skin, the warmth of his grip as he steadied Buck’s arm with one hand, cleaning the wound with the other. The feeling of Eddie touching him, even in this more clinical way, had set his heart racing and he bit the inside of his lip, looking away from Eddie, sure his expression would betray him.
He and Eddie were in uncharted territory, as far as he was concerned. Recently, feelings between them had become known, but neither one had moved past those admissions and done something about it. Buck had been dying to ask Eddie on a date, but he was too nervous most of the time to actually do it, despite knowing that Eddie was interested in him.
“Okay, all done. That cut isn’t very deep, but I’ll cover it just so it stays clean for the rest of the shift. You can take the bandage off as soon as you get home and let it breathe.”
“Okay,” Buck agreed, still looking away as Eddie taped some gauze to the wound and pulled his slightly tattered sleeve down over it. Buck watched Eddie out of the corner of his eye as the other man shifted on the bench, straddling it and facing Buck.
“Come closer,” Eddie requested, and Buck couldn’t think of a reason to protest so he shuffled closer, until he was practically sitting between Eddie’s legs. Eddie being so near jacked up his heart rate once more until he was sure Eddie would be able to sense it, which really only made things worse.
Eddie reached up and began to dab at the wound on the side of Buck’s face, and this time, it really did sting. Buck let out a small hiss of pain and turned his head instinctively, trying to move away from the burning sensation. Eddie’s face scrunched up in sympathy, but he reached up with his free hand and cupped Buck’s face, gently but firmly turning his head back and holding it in place.
“Sorry, I know it hurts, but you have to stay still,” Eddie admonished gently, and Buck swallowed hard as Eddie leaned closer, focusing on the wound. It felt strangely intimate to have him so close; Buck could smell his aftershave and see every individual hair in the stubble over his jaw that was starting to push through his skin after nearly 20 hours on shift. The touch of Eddie’s hand along his chin and cheek sent his nerves into a frenzy, and he let out a shaky breath, hoping Eddie would mistake his nerves for pain, rather than suspect just how affected by Eddie he was.
Eddie, too, was affected by his proximity to Buck, but he was doing his best not to show it. Buck’s bright blue eyes were so expressive, Eddie could see the apprehension in them, the unspoken words that he was longing to say shining back at him. Eddie gently cleaned the wound, holding Buck’s head still, desperately resisting the urge to slip the hand holding Buck’s chin up his jaw and into his hair, to pull him close and kiss him the way he’d been dreaming about for weeks.
Eddie finished cleaning the wound and then gently wiped up the blood that had slipped down Buck’s cheek and neck, stroking his skin with the wipe, trying to clean up the drying blood without rubbing too hard. Buck shivered as Eddie’s fingers ghosted over the skin of his neck and Eddie’s eyes flickered to Buck’s, seeing the nervousness there, the embarrassment of the shiver that he hadn’t been able to suppress.
“I’m just going to put a couple of steri strips on this, okay?” Eddie asked after a moment, his voice quieter than before. His affection and desire for Buck was screaming in his chest and he was amazed that Buck couldn’t hear it through his neutral words. Buck nodded in response, and Eddie carefully applied the steri strips, closing the wound and dabbing at the bit of fresh blood that squeezed out.
“All finished,” Eddie said softly, and despite his words, Eddie’s hand lingered on the side of Buck’s face, his fingers still steadying Buck’s jaw. A sudden silence passed between them as Eddie found he couldn’t pull away, and instead he slipped his hand a little higher, cupping Buck’s entire cheek, his thumb gently stroking over Buck’s uninjured cheekbone.
Buck looked over at him, his blue eyes shining; Eddie knew immediately how important this moment was - Buck’s eyes conveyed a vulnerability that Eddie had never seen before. Buck’s expression showed a complete trust in Eddie, but also a shyness that anyone who thought they knew Buck would never have suspected was there. Eddie could see from that single look how much Buck wanted to be with him, but that he was afraid to make the first move, afraid of being rejected again. Eddie also knew he was afraid, like Eddie was, of what might happen if they tried being together but it didn’t work out - what would happen to their friendship? And yet, Eddie couldn’t do this anymore. He knew how Buck felt, and not being with him when they both felt the same way was incompatible with life as he knew it.
So, instead of withdrawing his hand, Eddie took a breath and then did exactly as he had imagined a few minutes prior. He slipped his hand along Buck’s jawline and downwards until his hand rested comfortably on Buck’s neck, his fingers gently teasing the ends of Buck’s hair. Eddie could feel Buck’s pulse pounding against his hand and knew he was as excited and nervous as Eddie was, which somehow helped fill Eddie with the confidence to finish what he’d started.
Closing the distance between them, Eddie pulled Buck’s head a little closer as he leaned forward, and in an instant their lips had met. Eddie felt Buck inhale a little sharply in reaction, but then he was pressing closer, kissing Eddie back. It was like a fire ran through his veins; Eddie felt all of his limbs tingle with electricity as they embraced, his own heart racing as Buck let out a soft whimper and pressed even closer to him. Eddie wrapped his free arm around Buck’s side, his hand resting on and stroking Buck’s back, and it was Eddie’s turn to let out a soft noise as he felt Buck’s hand reach up and hesitantly touch his cheek, settling there after a moment.
Eventually they broke apart, the silence around them broken only by their shaking breaths. They looked into each other’s eyes for a long moment, the brown considering the blue, before they moved back together in unison, joined together in a kiss once more. Buck’s heart was pounding in his chest as he wrapped both of his arms around Eddie’s shoulders, Eddie responding by pulling him in as close as possible, deepening the kiss as they both became breathless, desperate for more.
They only broke apart a moment later as Buck’s radio, which was positioned right below their heads, suddenly blared into life with Bobby’s voice, letting them know that they were headed back to the firehouse. Buck and Eddie both sat there, panting, then burst into laughter, throwing their arms around each other and hugging. The hug ended abruptly as the side of Buck’s face bumped into Eddie’s and he let out an involuntary gasp of pain and flinched away.
“Sorry!” Eddie said apologetically, standing up and leaning over, pressing a kiss into Buck’s hair, beside his wound. Buck smiled at the sweet gesture, looking up at Eddie as the other man gathered the garbage from the supplies he’d used. Eddie grabbed Buck a new shirt and helped him peel off the ripped, blood-stained one he was wearing, and by the time they’d tossed the old shirt and Buck had pulled on the new, they could hear the truck rumbling outside, about to pull into the house.
“So… where does that leave us, then?” Buck asked, turning his back to the parking bay and looking over at Eddie, who had just turned back to join him. Eddie could see the hope in Buck’s eyes, and knew there was nothing else to it.
“Why don’t we get breakfast after our shift and see where that goes?” Eddie asked, trying to sound casual but aware that the eagerness that Buck felt was also clear in his tone.
“Sounds like a date,” Buck replied after a moment, and there was barely suppressed joy in his voice that made Eddie smile. Quickly, just before the truck pulled in, Eddie ducked his head and pressed a kiss to Buck’s lips, leaving the other man feeling dizzy with happiness as the truck appeared in the bay.
Buck watched as Eddie walked away and followed in a daze to greet the others as they returned, suddenly finding himself under a barrage of questions and concerns as Hen, then Bobby and then Chim noticed his facial injury and grilled him about it. As Buck laughed and insisted that he was alright, he caught Eddie’s eye from across the room and bit his lip as Eddie grinned at him. Buck had never wanted to get off of a shift as badly as he did at that moment, and the memory of their kisses sustained him over the next few hours until they could finally be together, exploring what ‘together’ really meant for the first time.
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Rating: No Archive Warnings Apply
Pairing: Evan “Buck” Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
So he’s in here for god knows how long; until the power comes back on, or he plummets to his death, or Buck…
(No. No one is coming to save you.)
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Buddie + “When it happens to you enough you just learn to pick up on it.”
Hey bestie 💙
Buck's abandonment issue rear their ugly head. 🙃
[742 words | Angst | Comfort]
Buck had grown accustomed to it. He got hurt. People leave. Or he just slips off their radar again. It happened with his parents. It happened with Ali. It happened with the entire 118. (Though he did admit that one was his fault) But it still hurt. It still added to the pattern.
And yeah, he had been hurt on the job since then, and this pattern had been broken. But this time, this was the first time since Buck had stood in Eddie’s kitchen and told him he loved him, and hadn’t breathed until Eddie said it back.
Their start had been simple and easy, not dramatic. No confessions under fire or with hands covered in blood. Not in a hospital room or an ambulance. Just a simple near accidental peck on the cheek one night. Then a soft and natural, but still earth shattering, I love you while the dishes were being stacked.
Buck sat on his couch, Eddie had left for work this morning, and Buck had decided to just accept the fact that what they had was probably over, so instead of sitting in the house filled with the beginnings of everything, and pictures of them smiling and happy, he called and Uber to take him to the loft that’s lease still bore his name.
So there he found himself on the couch, his body feeling as if it might just drift away, the ache that sat deep in his throat building, and tears in his eyes threatening to spill down his cheeks. Cause there he sat, right where he was when Ali had left. And it was going to happen again. He was waiting for Eddie to walk in the door, and then walk back out for the last time. Probably leaving his key on the counter. Or maybe he would just call. Or not say anything at all.
He heard the lock turn and the ache surged and the tears finally broke past the dam that was holding them back.
“Buck, babe? You here? I came home and you weren’t there. Nearly had a heart attack when I couldn't find you.”
Why? You are just gonna leave me. Send me back here.
Eddie finds him on the couch and sits exactly where Ali sat.
“I can’t do this again.” he barely got out.
“Buck-” Eddie reached out to take his boyfriend’s hand, But Buck flinched violently and backed away deeper into the cushions.
“Don’t- Don’t try and comfort me when you are just gonna leave. Just rip off the bandaid and leave me to wallow.”
Buck’s eyes were fixed over Eddie’s shoulder,
“Buck, why would I leave you?”
“When it happens to you enough you just learn to pick up on it.”
“Pick up on what?”
“What things will lead to people leaving.”
“You thought that because you were hurt that I would leave.”
It wasn’t a question. Buck bites his bottom lip, and drops his gaze to his hand playing with the strap of his arm sling.
“Buck, look at me,” he reaches for Buck’s hand again and catches it, holding it firmly in both of his, “Please?” Buck slowly lifts his head, his blue eyes still swimming, meeting Eddie's brown that had a tinge of sadness, but mostly concern and...love?
“I am not going anywhere.” Eddie tightened his hold on Buck’s hand. The warmth of the touch coursed through Buck.
“Are you sure?”
“There is nothing that would ever cause me to leave your side. I got your back. I love you.”
Tears still spilled down Buck’s cheeks
Eddie took one of his hands and brushed his thumb over Buck’s cheek, wiping the tears away, and Buck leaned into the touch.
“Hey, there is nothing you need to apologize for. None of these feelings are your fault. You have been burned too many times by people that were supposed to love you and stay.”
Buck tilted his head and a smile tugged at his lips,
“Okay that was a poor choice of words considering your injuries- but you get the idea right?”
“Yeah. I love you. Thanks for having my back.”
“Always. Anyway, ready to go home?”
“I gotta be honest, I almost forgot this place was still around and technically yours.”
“Yeah well, Albert is out a lot. Figured he wouldn’t mind. But let’s go home.”
They walked out the door hand in hand, leaving only the past behind.
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Buddie High School AU
From El Paso, Texas, Eddie Diaz is the youngest student at Crenshaw High, LA. Shy and a complete nerd he sees his whole world turn upside down when he meets Evan "Buck" Buckley, the best Quarterback the school has ever had. Popular, carefree, and dangerously seductive, Buck can't help but notice the new student, especially how handsome and hot he is, and how Buck wants nothing more than to press him against the wall and kiss him. The problem is that Eddie refuses to accept that he's attracted to the Quarterback.
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buddie + sunset
Kayla, thank you so much! I hope you enjoy. And thank you @thewitcherofrivia for reading it first and giving me a few tips. 🧡
"Eddie," he whispers, face buried on Eddie's neck; they are on Buck's balcony, this time there's no distance between them; the opposite, actually, Buck is on Eddie’s lap. Curled all over his boyfriend, half asleep, half awake. "I love you."
Giggly and sleepy Evan Buckley is one of the cutest things Eddie has ever seen in his entire life. Today is a little different, though, Buck is emotionally exhausted, drained, and there's nothing, but be there for him, that Eddie can do — it feels too little compared to the weight Buck’s shoulders have been carrying since he was a child.
"I love you too," he kisses Buck’s hair and holds him tighter when Buck snuggles more against his chest. "Do you want to go to bed?"
"No," Buck shakes his head. "I want to watch the sunset with you."
"Can't we do it tomorrow? There will be another one, I'm sure," Eddie smiles, hand going up and down on Buck's back, caressing it tenderly.
"No," he says straightforwardly.
Eddie has noticed Buck's constant fear of losing him… he knows it was already there before the shooting and it intensified before it. Now that they're a couple and Buck feels comfortable enough to show all his vulnerability, Eddie sees everything. He knows Buck wants to watch the sunset today because life is unpredictable and tomorrow they might not be together.
"I don't think I can stay awake," Buck admits with a giggle.
"Then don't. I can carry you to bed, just sleep."
"I'm going to be there when you wake up," Eddie reassures him. "And forever. Does that sound good enough?"
No matter what happens, I'm always gonna fight to come home to my family. He had said it to Shannon, and he had meant it. However, now with Chris and Buck his resolve to do it is 10x stronger. He's never going to leave his boys behind.
"Sounds perfect," Buck kisses Eddie's neck and finally allows sleep to get the best of him.
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