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#90% of this is done with the same brush
ghostbergara · 2 years
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A redraw! May 2022 - March 2019
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mcondance · 9 months
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come close; hobie brown
getting high and talking about anarchy with some old 90's shit playing is a crazy way to fall for someone. but it happens.
pairing hobie brown x Black!afab!fem! reader
contents lots of weed, different terms for weed (mary jane, cess), talks of killing politicians (y’all r both anarchists so.), masturbation (both you and hobie), making out, fingering, riding, missionary, mating press, creampie, unprotected sex (they're horny man dwbi), dirty talk, cervix kissing, lotsssss of praise, porn with plot (sorry i love plot 🙏🏾)
words 4.7k.. back on my longer fic shit!
warnings reader wears lipgloss, barely proofread so if you see any mistakes pls shoot me an ask!, umm i use the n word once!, i’m also,, not that great at writing his voice yet so.. hope it’s at least sorta accurate :3
extras the form i wrote this in is kinda,, unique igs but it flows rlly well i feel.
song shoutouts special thanks to lipstick lover by janelle monae, come close by common and mary j. blige, and green eyes by erykah badu!
signing off happy father’s day to hobie 🫶🏾
not quite plug!hobie, but hobie who always has weed, who you smoke with the first time you buy from him.
you usually don’t smoke with randoms, but you hear some old 90's rap playing from inside his car, and he invites you in when you comment on it.
"what you know bout this?" you ask with a smile.
"a lot, actually. you wanna smoke and listen?"
not quite plug!hobie who's fine as fuck as he sits opposite you in his ride, tall and darkskin with cool ass hair. wild ass accent and even wilder style, but he makes it work. his music taste adds on to his overall allure.
but his political views? god. the charm in the shape of a little 'a' surrounded by a circle hanging from his mirror lets you know that he ain't like these other niggas.
he's an anarchist. so far, you're the only anarchist you know. it's so rare to find someone who has the same values as you.
not quite plug!hobie who's car you leave with music recs clumsily typed into your notes, and someone to talk about politics with, though you're too shy to text the pretty boy with the good weed, so you're sure it'll never happen.
not quite plug!hobie who texts you when you get home to make sure you arrived safely.
"driving while high ain't safe, ya know? you at home?"
"i've done it before. i made it home."
not quite plug!hobie who's so nice to you, complimenting your outfits and hair, even noticing when you meet him the 3rd time with a new style.
not quite plug! hobie who you find out has been giving you discounts when your friends ask if you ever bought from him after their recommendation, and you run them in on the details. you think it’s just cause y’all smoked the first time you ever bought from him and you bonded over political views and music. you don’t think nothing else of it.
not quite plug!hobie who you find yourself thinking about more and more often, ever since that first time y'all smoked together.
not quite plug!hobie who finds himself in the same predicament.
not quite plug!hobie who answers the door on your 6th buy in a pair of red sweats and a tight white t-shirt that hugs his lanky frame, hair tied up with a blue shoe string. he invites you into his crib, citing reasons of having no one else to talk to about his views with. after all, it's the first time you both have time to sit and talk and listen to music instead of a quick deal since that first time.
not quite plug!hobie who you get faded as fuck with, this time sharing a joint on his janky couch, heavy hands brushing against each other with each pass. he tries to ignore the aching in his very core every time you speak your mind, your aligning politics driving him crazy.
you mirror him, shaking off the.. arousal?.. no, it can't be. you can't be getting all heated just cause a man is an anarchist. whatever. just ignore it.
not quite plug!hobie who laughs when you tell him straight up, “people aren’t killing politicians anymore. that’s our fuckin’ problem.”
"really? you're wild. but i get it."
"course you do." you nod, taking another drag of the joint. erykah badu's "green eyes" is playing quietly in the background of your convo. hobie starts laughing.
"what?" you smile.
"song's called green eyes, right? well we got red eyes." it's corny and wouldn't be funny if you two weren't high as shit, but you are high as shit, so it's fucking hilarious.
not quite plug!hobie who's eyes linger on you as he pulls laugh after laugh out of your chest with his snarky little jokes.
not quite plug!hobie who walks you to your car after your smoke session, telling you to get home safely. he passes out after his head hits the bed, that after smoke sleep being some of the best he's ever had. he tries to chase you out of his mind as he succumbs to the cess.
not quite plug!hobie who lights a joint and then pulls his dick out the next day, hard and heavy, and strokes it thinking about his pretty little client— friend? whatever — hips stuttering as he wraps his hand around his thick base. he's tried to shake you off, went all day distracting himself with this and that, but it's not working.
not quite plug!hobie who cums in white spurts splattering on his chest to the thought of making you cum in a room filled with smoke, some old r&b playin as he dicks you down the way he's been wanting to since the first time your pretty ass came to him asking for some weed. he wants you bent over on the end of his bed, eyes low and red while he fills you up and fucks you good, gives you his dick like he feels you so rightfully deserve.
not quite plug!hobie who you seriously can't stop thinking of. last night's smoke session has you on edge, so you light another joint, but weed always gets you horny, so when you slip your fingers into your panties and touch yourself to the thought of the pretty darkskin boy with the piercings and cool hair pushing his fat cock into your pretty hole, you blame it on the mary jane sitting pretty in your veins.
the fault lies in the mary jane for making you think about him laid on top of you, talking you through it as he damn near kisses your cervix, his wiry hands roaming your body. the fault lies in the mary jane for having your legs shaking, imagining your pretty plug folding you in half and ruining you, leaving you and your cunt sore and satisfied and dripping his cum.
not quite plug!hobie who cleans up while telling himself that he can't do this again, that you're not interested in him.
not quite plug!hobie who you block out of your mind as you shower. what you did wasn't right. it won't happen again.
not quite plug!hobie who you don’t buy from for a minute, cause you’re trying to stop smoking so much, for a while. you still keep in contact with him, though. daily texts, funny memes, and of course talks of anarchy. one day, you call him “bee” instead of hobie, and it sticks. he likes it.
not quite plug!hobie… who you fuck yourself to again, this time slipping three fingers inside your greedy cunt to satiate the need for him. it’s almost every night, and it’s a different fantasy every time. 
in the backseat of his car, bent over on his counter, pressed into his couch cushions. your head pressing into your pillows while visions of hobie’s lips pressed to your ear praising you endlessly for being his good girl and taking him so well torment you. you’re insatiable, but when you text you have to pretend like you don’t want his piercing scraping against your clit as he eats you like a man starved.
not quite plug!hobie who has the same dilemma as you.. he can’t even go a couple of hours without growing hard in his sweats, glimpses of you spread out on his bed with your thighs thrown over his shoulders, or you face down ass up, sobbing in pure ecstasy. it’s not made better by y’all’s constant texting, more and more of your personality being revealed to him each day.
you both share one brain, really. and that one brain finds each other attractive, of course, but it’s not just that. it’s not just pure lust. you two have more in common than anyone you’ve ever met, and that sinks ache and want so deep into you that every night and day is spent trying to rid yourselves of it.
not quite plug!hobie who you buy from again almost two weeks later, two weeks that were filled with funny conversations and deep discussions of politics through text. two weeks that solidify the growing feelings you have for each other. this time, he’s wearing a pair of blue sweats and a tight black tee, and his hair is tied up just like the first time you came to his house. this time, brandy’s playing throughout his crib.
you’ve only known each other for about two months, but it feels like longer, for the both of you. you take your seat on the couch as he grabs his stash and his papers, pulling out one paper to roll up.
not quite plug!hobie who sits a little bit closer than he did last time. he smells good. your head is swimming already. 
not quite plug!hobie who lights up and then lets you take the first hit, watching you wrap your glossy lips around the joint like he doesn’t wish they were wrapped around his dick instead. you pass the joint to him and settle onto the couch, raking your eyes over his lanky frame, and what you swear is a hard-on. no way. it has to be the weed. 
he settles back onto the couch too, extending his long arms on the back. his arm comes up behind your head, and you rest your head on it, smiling dopily when he directs his hazy gaze your way. his playlist must have ended. you're left with him and your thoughts.
“you’re funny, you know?” he says through a breath of smoke, passing the joint to you.
“yeah?” you reply, hitting it again. “everyone tells me i’m just corny.”
“you’re not corny. you’re pretty hilarious, if i’m bein’ honest.” 
and there it is again.
not quite plug!hobie whose words light that fire in you again, the fire that you’ve been dousing every night for the past two fucking weeks. fuck, not here. not now. you grab the joint from him in an attempt to push more weed into your system to flush him out, but you meet his pretty fuckin’ brown eyes and they’re low and his lips looks so good and he smells so good and suddenly you’re asking not quite plug who you’re two seconds away from fucking!hobie why he’s been charging you less than everyone else who buys from him and why he invited you into his car and into his house, twice.
and not quite plug who really wants to kiss you right now!hobie can’t even joke and twist his way out of this one. he’s tired of cumming alone to the thought of you. the worst you can do is leave. but the best? god, so many things.
“'s cause i think you’re pretty. n' i really wanna kiss you right now.”
“then do it.”
not quite plug!hobie who tastes like weed and chocolate. the hand that was resting on the back of the couch finds it’s way to the small of your back, fingers drawing nonsensical shapes into it. your hands find his knee and his neck as you press your lips into his. you slide closer to him, and then he’s using the hand resting on your back to push you into his lap, hands settling on your hips as you settle above him, your hands circling around his neck.
“how long?” you ask between kisses.
“since the day you walked up to my car.” he responds quietly, cheeks heating up with embarrassment. he’s quick to trap your lips again.
god, he is hard. and he’s big, you can feel him pressing against the inside of your thigh. you hold your tongue, figuring you could deal with that later. right now, you just need to get out what you’ve been keeping in since the day you two met and you spotted the little ‘a’ hanging from his mirror.
the kiss grows deeper and he grows a little less shy, starting to use his hands gripping your waist to grind you against him. heat floods you when you realize that he's pulling you onto his cock, pressing your cunt against him, separated by the fabric of his sweats and your shorts.
you find his rhythm, falling into the pattern of his soft pushes and presses, a gentle lull of bodies moving against each other that makes you even more comfortable than you already are. soft little groans escaping the both of you, mixing with the smoke and infatuation in the air.
he lets you move the way you want, lithe fingers tracing up your back, hovering over where your hair falls onto your neck. he keeps kissing you for a minute, seemingly frozen. but then he's pulling away to speak, "can i- can i touch your hair?"
you stop moving with a smile. you nod. "yeah. thanks for asking." you kiss him again.
"course, love." he nods, and then he kisses you again. his long fingers snake into your hair, gently and softly. he strokes his hands through your locks, in time with your kisses and the movements of your hips that have started again. hands migrating from his neck, sliding down his chest, laying flat-palmed. your fingers slide under his tee, curling and gripping to pull him ever closer to you.
not quite plug!hobie who could kiss you forever. you could too, but you want more. you need him. so you pull away just a little, murmur "can feel you against me." chills rack through him at your words.
"i know. 'm so hard, darlin'." he pushes his hips up just a little, drawing a muffled whine from you.
"been wantin' you so bad.." you trail off. hobie takes it upon himself to move his hands from your hair to the waistband of your shorts, eyes fixed on yours, watching your every move. you nod, giving him permission to snake his fingers into your shorts, fingers that are met with no resistance.
"no panties? did'ya plan this, doll?" he smiles, slim fingers exploring your wetness, doing what he can with the limited space.
"mhm." you shake your head. "'s more comfortable." he hums in agreement. he circles your clit with his middle finger, dipping towards your entrance to collect more slick. you push down against his fingers, causing him to have to crane his wrist to reach you.
"can we take these off? can't touch you the way i wanna." you blush, averting your eyes to focus on the hand that disappears into your shorts.
"yeah." you breathe shakily, standing up and letting hobie pull them down your legs, hands on his shoulders as balance. your shirt is long, and it falls down to give you some modesty. hobie throws your shorts somewhere behind you before he leans back, giving you space to sit back down.
he looks so fucking good, brown eyes staring at you like you hung the stars in the sky. he reaches out for you, pulling you back into his lap by your hips. his hand disappears under your shirt while his lips find yours again, exploring you more freely this time.
"so wet, doll." he murmurs between one kiss and another, smiling when you whine. his fingers move at different speeds, pressing in different areas and circling at different speeds until he finds a combination that makes you jolt against him, whining "bee."
"thaaaaat's it, love." this time, you don't return your lips to his, instead tucking your head into his neck as you hump shamelessly against his hand, his cock pressing hard and heavy against your thigh. "keep going, baby," he urges, "show me how it feels."
and you do. you shiver and shake and whine and groan in pleasure, pressing kisses in his brown skin as he touches you the way he touched himself thinking about.
not quite plug!hobie who presses his thumb into your clit, sliding his hand farther down to tease your drooling hole. "'s wet, love. g'na feel so good 'round me." you moan loudly at that, at the thought of your fantasies coming true. you cant your hips down, sliding down his fingers until they're seated inside you, stroking gently at your sensitive walls.
pulling them out softly, he curls his fingers, twisting his wrist as you whine and mouth at his neck. "'s okay. you can bite." he nods, catching onto what you were holding yourself back from. you still don't, resign to licking and sucking instead.
until his fingers catch the spongy spot inside you, and your teeth are sinking into the column. "fuck," you damn near shout, pushing yourself onto his hand. he groans in response, pleased to be pleasing you and indulging in the pain you inflict on him. thumb on your clit and fingers playing with that spot, he brings his other hand from your hip to your hair to soothe you, to ground you.
it's sweet, really, his hand in your hair while the other one touches you the way you've been dreaming of. coos and hums meet your ears, soft sounds of affirmation egging you on to let yourself get lost in the pleasure he delivers you. arousal steadily dripping out of your hole, hobie's fingers sliding easier and easier inside you until he can pull out and slip right back in.
"you're so pretty, dove, fuckin' dreamgirl." he murmurs, staring down at your pretty face, arched eyebrows turned down in ecstasy, lips parted. the praise takes you closer and closer to the edge, his deep voice reverberating throughout your entire being, the pangs of arousal in your clit growing harder and faster. you're close.
you're so goddamn close to cumming for a boy you just wanted to buy from. his long fingers reach deep, deeper than you could ever even dream of. “hobie- i- i’m g’na-” you stutter against his neck, hips stuttering against his fingers.
“‘s okay, love, cum. i’m right here.” the rubber band snaps, and you're tightening your thighs around his hand while you shake and shiver, eyes closed tight with soft whines of "hobie, god it feels so good" tumbling from your lips. you tighten around his fingers, too, squeeze him so tight he winces, cause he just knows you're gonna feel so good wrapped around him. he pushes that thought away, though, focused on helping you ride out your orgasm.
fingers pressing into your clit and that spot inside you, he makes sure to milk every last second of your climax, eyes fixed on your ethereal features. aftershocks still racking through you, you finally open your eyes, and he takes it as a sign to gently pull his fingers out of you and wipe them on his sweats, and you shudder at the feeling.
"that was. . so much better than i imagined. n' i imagined it being pretty good." you smile and giggle, placing a kiss on his neck. he laughs in response, raising his eyebrows at your confession.
"bet i'm a better fuck than you imagined, too." the air in the room shifts again, and suddenly you're aware of his cock pressed against your thigh through his sweats again.
"bet you are."
you raise up, kissing him again as your hands find the waistband of his sweats and invite themselves in, meeting his dick that's been hard since you first sat down on his couch. "and i'm the one who planned this? you're free-balling." you murmur against his lips, and he mirrors your words from earlier.
"'s more comfortable, 's all— fuck." he's cut off when you pull his cock out of his sweats and run your finger over his pretty brown tip, dipping into his slit. his hips thrust up, chasing your soft hand. "g'na drive me crazy." he almost whines, jerking against you when you swipe your thumb against his aching tip again.
"just returnin' the favor." you shoot back, raising up to hover over him, swiping his leaking dick through your wetness. he wraps his hand around his thick base, moving in time with your teasing strokes. "you're big." you groan, hesitating to seat yourself on him.
"i know, doll, you can take it though. we'll make you take it." he speaks into your clothed chest, muffled and horny, and you’re sure he means what he says. you drip even more at his words, sticky slick wetting his fat tip.
not quite plug!hobie whose hands are on your hips as you sink down onto his pretty dick, whining into his neck as he encourages you. “you got it, baby, you’re takin’ me so well. god, she’s so wet.”
"she— fuck that's so hot," you moan, eyes rolling back at his words.
"mhm?" he hums.
you don't respond, too busy focusing on his fat cock pushing into you, focusing on the way you both make it fit, exactly like he said you would. finally, he bottoms out, your thighs resting against his sweats.
"g' job, babe. knew you could take me." you jolt against him, his heady words sending another pang of arousal straight to where you two meet.
not quite!plug hobie who you tell to move, raising your hips up as he pulls out, meeting him in the middle as he fills you back up. his hips slot against yours again, and his big chocolate eyes are fixed on yours, gazing upon you in adoration, while your eyes are fixed on where he disappears into you.
"so big, feels s'good. ." you whisper, meeting his gaze. the look in his eyes has chills running down your spine as you raise your hips again, choosing to connect your lips with his again. hobie starts to find a rhythm, now, wrapping his long arms around your waist. you swap spit with him as his hips meet your ass, taking over.
body bouncing with each of his thrusts into your pussy, arms wrapped around his neck. his lips slipping against yours, plump and wet. you both take it slow, basking in the feeling of finally being like this with someone you've wanted since you first saw them.
he fills you up so nicely, thick cock nestled in your achy walls, leaking tip just barely kissing your cervix as he thrusts just a bit harder and you push down a little more.
"y'feel me, darlin? 'm all the way in, at the end of you, god, 'm g'na make you mine." he babbles in pleasure, pushing his hips up even harder. still soft, but firm, and deliberate.
you nod against his lips, hand resting on his cheek. "feel you, bee, feel you in my fuckin' stomach, i swear." you feed off of him and he feeds off of you, kissing and slapping your hips against the others, wild and wanting. "fuckin' me so good, bee, makin' me yours."
"makin' me yours, doll, pussy's squeezin' me like she don't w'na let go."
"don't wanna let go, wan' you so bad." you confess, bringing your ass down onto his cock again. "i— fuck," you sob. his cock curves just right, and with his tip pressing against your spot now, hobie's found new determination.
"that it?" he asks, making sure to keep hitting that spongy patch of skin with every thrust, sheathing his cock in your wet heat.
"'s it, hobie, feels so good, shit." the high has worn off by now, leaving pure emotions and desire driving you two. you get tight around him again, cunt pulsing with every slam of his hips against yours. you feel so good around him, so tight and wet.
"'m g'na—, you're gonna make me cum, bee."
he moves one hand from around your waist at that, sliding between you two to toy with your clit, thumb rubbing wild shapes against the throbbing bud.
"fuck," you cry, grinding against his thumb and down onto his dick.
"you close again, doll? wan' you to wet me up, ma'me a mess," he encourages, big brown eyes fixed on yours like they've been the whole night.
"'m so close, bee, wanna cum for you, wanna wet you up."
"then do it." he mirrors your words from earlier, and the pleasure pulsing through your veins and infatuation swirling around in your blood gets to be too much, and you cum on his cock, still slamming your hips down onto him, meeting his thrusts in the middle. "thaaaat's it, doll." you hear hobie praise through the fog in your mind, bounces turned to messy grinds as you get all tight around him, cumming hard.
"y'alright, love?" he asks, moving your hair out of your face.
"mhm. w'na go again, you haven't come yet." he chuckles at your words, wrapping both hands around your waist and kissing you again.
"lay back, love." he murmurs against your lips, flipping you onto the couch. your back meets the smooth fabric as he lays you down, pulling his tee and his sweats off. you follow suit, stripping your shirt off and throwing it somewhere behind his couch. his watchful eyes fall on your face, then your tits, then your cunt, taking your body in for the first time.
he finds his place on top of you, balancing himself on his elbows as he kisses you again. he reaches down, but you stop him. "lemme do it," you urge, replacing his hand. you line him up with your sopping entrance, nodding twice to tell him to push in.
the stretch is so fucking good, his cock bullying it's way into your tight cunt again.
"fuck, that's it," he curses, watching your face as he seats himself in your once again.
"so deep. ." you trail off, looking down at your stomach, and oh fuck, no way.
"hobie, hobes, look," you urge, and he points his gaze to where you're looking.
"oh, love, look at that. can see myself, right there," he presses down on the bulge he creates, ripping a broken moan straight from your throat.
"fuck me, please," you sob, squirming under him. he nods, understanding, and finds his rhythm easier this time, lean hips slapping against you. your body jolts up the couch with every thrust, choppy whines of nonsensical sentences leaving your mouth.
not quite plug who's absolutely pussydrunk!hobie can't get enough of your cunt, the way you squeeze him oh so tight, the wet squelches of your heat drawing him further into madness. he needs to go deeper, needs to fuck you harder, so he raises up, throwing your legs over his shoulders, leaning back down to bury his cock deep inside you.
"baby, fuck." it's a gritted groan, head rolling back onto the couch as he mouths at your neck, licking and biting at your heated skin. his thrusts are slow and firm, dick kissing your cervix, the slaps sounding out through his living room.
you're both quiet this time around, too blissed out to do anything but fuck, allowing yourselves to succumb to pleasure. every inch of his cock fills you, driving you crazy, driving him crazy too. it's intimate, his lips on your neck, your fingers palming at his back, limbs tangled together. and you can feel it building up in you again.
"'m g'na cum, hobes." he moves one of his arms, bringing his thumb down to rub at your clit, still mouthing at your neck. he lets it happen this time, doesn't urge you or change anything he's doing, and you coast into your climax so gratifyingly that you almost cry, squeezing him tight once again. now, your focus is on making him cum.
"wan' you to cum, hobes."
"gotta pull out, love. we ain' even put a rubber on." he realizes.
"no you don't. 'm clean. jus' fill me up, please." in your right mind, you wouldn't let him, but you're not in your right mind, and neither is he. so he cums with a groan, shaking as he spills pressed against your cervix.
the air's.. different now, satisfied and calm. you both lay there for a while, until hobie's picking you up and carrying you to the bathroom to clean you up.
after, he lights another joint that you two share tucked under his covers, hugged up like a couple.
not quite plug!hobie holds you as you both fall asleep.
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tookthe-405 · 30 days
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Hard to sleep
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bsf!ellie x bsf!reader
Masc!ellie x fem!reader
summary: Modern au where you and Ellie are best friends and in college together. About the queer situationship so many of us had with our best friend :,)
It’s angsty but still fluffy I swear 😪
(Happy End)
c.w: smut!!, weed, mention of alcohol and drugs and long af and I think that’s it but speak up if i missed something!!!
authors note: this is my first fic so please be nice to me, but still give critic so I can write better next time 🫶
⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆ ⋆。 ゚☁︎。 ⋆。 ゚☾ ゚。 ⋆
“Wakey wakey sunshine it’s time to get upp”
You sigh annoyed thinking you’re still asleep and dreaming some shit, because of course Ellie follows you into your dreams.
“Dude get the fuck up” this time her voice doesn’t sound so subdued and you jump out of your sleep.
“Holy fuck”
You Look at Ellie whose casually going through your dorm room, packing your bag for you.
“You really need to stop oversleeping the classes that are the most important to you and going to the ones no one cares about”
You sigh still tired and feeling your heart beating way too fast and loud.
“You really need to stop showing up here when I’m unconscious, you always scare the shit out of me”
“I literally called you sunshine, how does that scare you?”
You giggle a bit and sit up straight, stretching yourself before standing up completely.
Ellie gives you your packed bag and you take it, still in pjs.
“You do know by the time I’m done, the lecture will be almost over” you mention to her as you open the braid form last night.
“Who said I’m waiting for you huh?”
“Um I do?”
You Look at her grinning, she sits at your desks while watching you do your hair with her green eyes following almost every move.
You Look Away quickly and go to the bathroom to brush your teeth.
Sometimes it feels like there’s a time limit when you two look at each other, like you have to watch out that it’s not too long and not too short. Most of the time Ellie doesn’t care and just keeps staring, but for you it’s important to not cross the friendship line. No one looks at their best friends for too long, no one worries about looking at their best friend too long.
You just don’t want to fuck this up.
“You should wear a skirt today”
“Huh?”
Ellie appears in the door.
“It’s hot today you should wear something short” she says again
“This your way of making me wear skirts for you?”
Ellie chuckles in her casual husky voice.
“Yeah that’s exactly what I’m doing”
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“That was so fucking boring, you could’ve let me missed this one too Ellie” you whine
Ellie groans as the both of you walk to one of the cafe’s on campus, meeting your roommate Audrey and some of Ellies friends as well.
“I’m like 90% sure he said important stuff in the beginning and we just missed it because of you”
“Yeah yeah whatever I’m sorry ellie, I’ll try fixing my sleep schedule okay?”
“I’ll ask Audrey too take away your laptop and phone maybe you’ll have a chance then”
You bump your shoulder into hers and she giggles.
It doesn’t take much too make you feel nostalgic when you spend time with Ellie. Only warm air, sunshine and her laugh.
That’s all you’ll ever need and that all you’ll never have forever.
“I’m gonna meet up with Iris later”
Her tone sounds natural, no hesitation and you are sure she doesn’t know what her words do to you.
And the worst part is you can’t even be mad at her, you have no right to be.
You look down at your shoes that go in the same tact with Ellie’s, over and over again.
“Really? Was she the one with the braids?”
Ellie nods and you try to make some eye contact. You don’t want her to feel bad, even tho you’re sure she has no idea how you actually feel, and you always try to be happy for her. But maybe you want her to get it. Maybe you want her to see how you look at her, maybe then she’ll finally understands.
But she just keeps walking and looking forward.
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“There wasn’t a frat party in so long you have to come!”
Audrey is basically begging, she even pulls your arm.
“Everyone is talking about it in my class, since it’s the last one before everyone is going home so they wanna party big” Jesse explains with a big smirk on his face.
Ellie and you look at each other from across the table, sipping your ice coffees.
You give her a uncertain look, you know she’ll go if you go and you’ll go if she does.
“Who’s gonna be there?” She asks and your eyes land on Dina, who normally knows every human alive.
“Everyone I hope but I’m sure a few won’t go so why don’t you just tell me her name Ellie?” Dina says, a teasing look on her face and your heart feels heavy again.
“Iris. I sit with her in biology”
“Aw cute you sit with her?” Audrey says mocking her friendly, but she gives you a empathetic look. She’s the only one who knows about your feelings, since she was the one who was with you when you got a bit too drunk and told her about all the feeling you ever had.
Ellie looks at you for just a second, but thank god you didn’t miss it, and your cheeks turn red. You keep drinking your drink.
“Yes I know her she’s sweet but I don’t know if she’ll be there”
Ellie immediately grabs her phone and types something in it.
Jesse goes ordering something and Dina talks with Audrey about the party and what to wear.
Your feet kicks Ellie’s softly, so she looks up at you.
“Just ask her if you could met there, I’m sure she doesn’t mind” you say trying to sound as supportive as possible.
Ellie looks unsure and you grab her arm soft, feeling the fabric of her flannel jacket she’s so obsessed with.
“She likes you Ellie, god how couldn’t she and she should be happy about spending some time with you and you’re friends. I know it would make you feel more relaxed too, knowing you’re not alone” you try to whisper it but Audrey and Dina are loud talker anyway.
You smile at her and take your hand back. Ellie looks at you and her cheeks turn a slightly pink shade. She was never good with sentimental talk, too bad you’re so good at it.
“You don’t have to meet her yet you know” she says finally.
“What do you mean? Why shouldn’t I?”
“I don’t know… I wasn’t sure if you wanted too”
“I’m your best friend why would you think that Ellie?”
“I don’t know I just… never mind it’s stupid”
She starts looking at her phone again but you keep staring at her confused, angry and even a bit sad. You’re pretty positive that you weren’t obvious at all for the past years, so what did you do to fuck up so bad?
“Okay she’ll be there”
“Yeah?” Jesse asks, sitting down again with a sandwich in his hand.
“Yup she says she heard about it too and wanted to ask me if I would like to go”
“Damn that’s some soulmate shit” he says chuckling and you look out the window for something distracting
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“It’s gonna be fine, if it’s too much for you we can leave” Audrey tries to comfort you.
“I’m gonna be okay Audrey don’t worry, i think I can do this” you know you actually can’t do this.
“I think this is all just in your head, the whole “Being scared of losing her” thing” she mentions quiet.
It’s not just that your scared of losing her, your scared of wanting her so much that you can’t control it anymore and then losing her.
“Just go ahead with the others, I think I’ll take a bit longer… I’m just gonna take an Uber” you keep digging through your closet searching for anything you would like to wear.
“You sure?” Audrey voice sounds unsure.
“Yes it’s a short drive I’ll be fine”
“Fine but if you change your mind then I’m more than fine with just watching a movie with you Here”
“I won’t I promise we’re gonna have fun tonight” you smile at her as she walks out the door saying goodbyes and waving quickly.
Right after she left you could hear your own thoughts way too clear and it felt like your mind was ready to destroy the whole evening.
You stare at your wardrobe searching for something, but this unsettling feeling is eating you from the inside and you lay down on the bed again, putting your face in your hands.
The tears just rush down your cheeks and your body lets them. You imagine the time where Ellie has a girlfriend wife, a woman that is more important than you and the person she wants to do all the things you want to do with her. You’ll have to be at their wedding and at their house to eat fucking dinner once a year.
You would do a lot for Ellie to want you as this person, but you tell yourself that you’re not gonna cry here because that won’t change anything.
You take your phone from the night stand next to you and open the camera, seeing mascara all over your cheeks.
“Fuck” you whisper annoyed
You try to whip them away, then you get a text from Ellie.
I’m gonna pick you up in an hour okay
What about iris? Shouldn’t you pick her up?
I wanna pick up you tho, she’ll be fine we said we would meet at the party
You don’t have to do that Ellie
I get it really
I want to pick you up. Is that okay with you miss?
I can hear you say this in my head
Shut up and get ready dork
You smile and the smile tastes like hope and assurance and love.
In the end you decided to wear a shirt mint green dress that has a V cut with a little cute white bow in the middle. Since how to walk in heels is a fucking mystery, you wear your Mary janes shores in dark red.
You put your hair up and put on a brown leather jacket from Isla.
There’s a knock on the door as you try to save your make up a bit.
You take one last look in the mirror and decide that your fine with how you look. With your bag around your shoulder you open the door and meet Ellie’s eyes immediately.
You smile excited and do a little spin.
“is this okay?” You ask her
“Pretty. You look very pretty”
You take a Look at Ellie’s outfit.
Baggy jeans with a white t shirt and her blue jeans jacket and converse. You could see her black sports bra though her white tee and looked away quickly, feeling your face heat up and your mind swift away to other places.
“You do too, even your hair is open for once. Looks very good” you say and take a step forward, so you could let your fingers go through her hair. She puts her hands on your arms and closed her eyes for a bit. You fixed a few hair strings and looked at her. You often saw her this close up but you’ll always thank the universe for another chance of seeing her like this. The freckles over her cheeks and her nose, hell even her forehead.
She is so beautiful and so sweet, sure she tries to hide it most of the time but in these moments you’re both just two girls holding each others most vulnerable versions.
A moment later you find yourself hugging her tight.
Your arms are around her neck and you take a deep breath in. She hugs you back, her arms around your waist.
“I love you a lot and I hope that doesn’t change ever.”
You whisper in her ear
“I love you too…”
You eventually let go of her and try to show her that you’re still happy and excited for tonight, even though you really just want to hug and kiss her the whole night and not watch her do this with some other girl.
“Let’s go I’m sure the others are already there”
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“Frat boys are some weird people but fuck their party’s are good”
Ellie’s voice makes you look right as you guys get out her car and fuck she’s right. There are people everywhere. Outside the frat house, inside and you’re sure some people are gonna end up on the roof at some point too.
“I’m gonna drink so fucking much before I need to go back home” you say, real excitement in your veins this time.
Ellie giggles and the both of you try to get through the drunk people on the front porch.
It’s louder inside the house, where a tone of lights shine around in the room, everyone is dancing and you could smell alcohol in the air.
Your eyes scan everything around you, but then you hear Ellie curse.
“What wrong?” You get a bit closer to her again.
She looks a bit pissed but you couldn’t find anything else in her expression.
“Iris is gonna be here in an hour”
“Thats a bit late” is all that comes to your mind.
“No shit, she thought we would meet up at that time but still it’s just….” She looks at your biting her under lip
You take a step back and look at her really mad now.
“What is it that bad to spent some time with me here Ellie? We don’t have too you know you wanted to pick me up, you wanted to go tonight what the fuck?” You hear your own voice getting louder with every word.
You were trying. Trying to be supportive and not jealous. Trying not to think about her, about all the things you dream about. But this just feels like some fucked up joke.
“No! Fuck- you know that not what I mean…”
Ellie’s hands reach out for you but you step back again.
“Don’t fucking Touch me.”
And for once in a while Ellie was the one, who felt the sharp pain of rejection. Her hands slowly drop and her eyes never looked so green. Her eyes look around the room for a second, but after she realises that you’re not gonna change your mind she puts her hands inside her jacket and walked more inside the house.
You don’t feel the tears this time. They just appear in your eyes as you watch Ellie walk away.
You Turn left and walk up the stairs, trying to not let anybody see you cry.
You Wander around for a bit feeling like a ghost, not even sure how to think a single thought right.
After a while you find yourself in, you think the bedroom, of one the frat boys. A group of people sit on the floor, talking and smoking a joint.
Even tho you don’t really like smoking, you thought about it for a second and it didn’t sound so bad Anymore.
You stood there awkwardly, staring at them not sure what to do, but then you heard a voice behind you.
“You want one?” A tall girl with long blond hair asks.
“Excuse me?” You feel your pulse go up in embarrassed.
“A joint? I have one if you wanna smoke a bit?”
You look at her with your mouth a bit open.
Then you gave the group a last look, their laughing looking like they don’t care about a thing in the world.
“Yes… yeah sure why not”
The girl smiles and you follow her to another room, a bathroom which was surprisingly quiet. As soon as she closes the door, the noises sounds muffled.
You Open a window and lean on to the wall.
“You a student too? Or a friend of a friend?” You ask her, hating the awkward silences.
The girls steps beside you and pulls out a joint and a lighter.
“Student sadly, I would be fine with being the cousin of one of the football players” she chuckles slightly and light up the joint pretty smooth.
“So Whats Your name?” She asks you and hands you the joint.
You Take a Hit trying not to cough, but of course you fail.
You mumble your name, as you try to take a normal breath again.
“First time?” A smirk on her a face, but at least she’s not laughing.
“No but I don’t smoke often”
“Hm”
“Sorry what’s your name?”
She takes another hit and it looks way to easy when she does it which bring you wanting to do it better the next time and even better the next one.
“Abby”
“Nickname?”
“Yeah for Abigail”
“Hm cute name” you mention and take your … maybe 4th hit? You should stop counting now.
“Thank you… so what do you study?
“Psychology” I murmur
Her eye brown go up in surprise and you giggle a bit at the face she makes.
“Clinical?” She asks and it surprises gib that she knows about the difference.
“No, general”
“Oh you’re a smart girl then huh?”
You laugh loud and laughing and since you’re in a bathroom the laugh comes back way louder.
“Not really most of the time I miss the classes that I I really wanna watch” you say and your mind goes wandering off to ellie again but you try to focus on Abby in front of you.
“What do you study? Tell me what are you here for Abigail?” You say to her and she makes a face again.
“God only my dad calls me Abigail it’s kinda funny coming from an almost stranger”
And that’s so sweet that you can’t help but smile at her but then your eyes meet…. And god hers are so red that you pray silently that yours do not have the same colour.
“Pre-med”
“And you call me smart girl Abby” you say with big eyes.
“You might become a fucking doctor”
She giggled embarrassed and you could tell that the weed was working.
“I Hope so” she says looking a bit sad even and your first thought was that she might think she couldn’t do it.
You put your arm on her shoulder and your mouth falls open.
Fuck this woman has some muscles.
You squeeze her arm for a second and then realise that she’s staring at you with a confused grin.
“Sorry i Know we Don’t know each other, but I can just like you know feel that you’re intelligent and interesting and hard working and - I mean bro look at your arms I’m not even sure if that’s possible” you say laughing again.
Your laugh doesn’t stop for a few seconds, but as soon as it dies you worried that you might have over stepped the line.
You Look at her Face and she just smiles really nice and not mad or hurt just pure sweetness.
She’s really nice and your sure you guys could be friends and now you’re kinda scared that you gave off the wrong idea.
“What the fuck?”
Your heads turn to the door where a very disturbed ellie is standing.
“Ellie hey… no wait I’m mad at you”
“You’re mad at me? I’ve been looking in the whole damn house and I find you smoking weed from a stranger the fuck do you mean?”
You’ve seen Ellie being angry a lot. She was mad, because of a comic con where she didn’t get to but a signed version of her fav comic. Or when she cursed out some old dude who was driving too slow.
But never this mad.
“We’re going”
Your mind is still spinning then suddenly Ellie grabs your arm and wanting to pull you out the door but Abby steps between you both.
“Sorry but you can’t just do that”
“You don’t know shit”
Abby was definitely taller and stronger than Ellie, but Ellie’s temper was probably even bigger.
“I know she doesn’t want to go with you”
Abby snaps and Ellie’s grip gets stronger around your waist and she goes past Abby through the door.
You give Abby an apologetic look, Ellie only slows down when you are at her car.
“Get in” she hisses
You get in and you swore to yourself that this whole situation will end tonight.
“Ellie-“
“Don’t just please don’t talk right now please”
She sounded exhausted. Hurt as well like she hasn’t slept in days. Her head rests on the steering wheel for a few seconds, her back goes up and down from her strong breathing and you just shut up with tears in your eyes.
The ride was quiet, not even the radio was on. You could only hear the noise of the car driving, it’s humming which calmed you and Ellie down a bit. You still cried in silence the whole time.
You got out of the car without a word and walked up the stairs to your room, Ellie close behind you.
You Open the door with your keys and you both sit down on your bed. This might be the longest time the both of you haven’t talked while being together and it feels so incredible wrong.
“Why did you step back from me in the beginning. Why didn’t you let me touch you?”
Her voice broke at the end and you looked up to see tears running down her cheeks as well.
“Because … I felt like you didn’t want me there with you. Like you would swap me with her if you had the chance. That hurt me and I know I don’t have the right-“
“I would always choose you”
This time she didn’t sound sad, her voice sounds and feels delicate. Something tickled in your heart, like a string only she pulled on.
“I would choose you in every universe, in every scenario just tell me what you want. Tell me what you want and I’ll be it for you”
Ellie has this affect on your heart, your soul.
She could hurt you so much more and you’ll still choose her over and over again as well.
You’ll choose each other.
You Look at her lips and back to her eyes.
“I want you to kiss me-“
She didn’t waste a second, she put her hand on the back of your head and pushed you to her, the first time ellie kissed you, you tasted like weed and alcohol. And Ellie didn’t care.
If you taste like that she’ll taste like it too.
And you would still kiss each other over and over again.
Your hands found her hair again, like a few hours ago but this time you weren’t careful, you touched her the way you wanted.
Her hands found your hip and she pulled you on her lap.
“Wait - wait”
She stopped immediately.
“What about Iris?” You feel like crying again, if you’re just a replacement because it didn’t work out with her then you might kill her.
Ellie gaze is focused on her hand, that’s still on your hip.
“I couldn’t do it”
“Couldn’t do what?”
Ellie closed her eyes, frustration showing on her whole face
“I couldn’t do this to you- Jesus to her I just couldn’t. I kept on wishing it was you instead of her. The whole time and I mean for weeks. But I can’t lose you and I sure as hell can’t forget you”
Your breath feels lost and I feel dizzy.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” You ask her and out both of your hand on her cheeks, so that she looks up at you.
“Why didn’t you? Because I was scared. Scared of losing you or us or both”
Her eyes got a bit watery again, you’ve known her for so long and you couldn’t even read her when she was hurting the most.
“Give me a second”
You got up and grabbed your phone out of your bag.
Audrey, sleep in Dina’s dorm tonight, in Ellie’s bed
And don’t worry about Ellie
Always warm your roommate about hook ups, or whatever this is. God you Hoped this wasn’t a one time thing.
“You’re okay with sleeping here?”
Ellie’s eyes went wide and her face got red.
“Yeah I mean yes for sure why shouldn’t I-?”
You sit down on her lap and kiss her again, harder this time.
“Is it okay if we fuck? Or too fast?” You ask her looking right into her eyes, so she would understand how serious you mean it.
“N-no im fine Are you fine?”
You grinned, she was so cute when she was nervous.
“I’m fine Ellie. Say stop and I’ll stop okay? Promise me you’ll do that?” You kiss down her neck as you speak and even there her skin was burning.
“Yes I can do that”
You get up to her face again and kiss her soft.
“Can you open my dress for me?”
She nods and her hands disappear behind your back.
The fabric on your skin never felt heavier and you just needed to get it off your skin. You needed Ellie to see you, to touch you.
Thank god you’re wearing pretty underwear, otherwise the anxiety would’ve ruined your confidence.
The cold gave you a little shiver, Ellie hand found your waist again and you literally melted under her touch.
A few seconds ago you were nervous how she might look at you. Ellie has experience, you too sure but she’s enough for you just by being here with you in this moment. You don’t know how she feels about you.
The warm light of your lamp shines on her face and her freckles never looked more beautiful.
Her eyes wander over your whole body.
Your lace bra, your legs, stomach and you’ve never felt this intimate with a person. It’s because this time it’s with her. And you feel golden, god she feels golden, the whole room does.
Ellie’s eyes stop at your bra and she grins.
“You’re so pretty” she whispers, as she kisses the exposed skin.
You sigh smiling, your hands finds her t shirt.
“Is this okay?” You ask for her permission.
She nods still kissing, touching your boobs over your bra and the two of you giggle as you take off her shirt and now both of you are almost naked In front of each other.
“I really wanna do this with some music on” she mumbles under her breath. A few moments later frank oceans voice is filling the room from Ellie’s phone. The bad quality made you chuckle.
Your hands touch her black sports bra, caressing over her small breasts and Ellie shivered for a moment.
It’s all you ever wanted.
All her rough and soft parts combine so good and make you feel so much, that you only want to scream.
You’ve seen Ellie in a sport bra before, at the beach or when she came from the gym, but you’ve always had this weird love for her toned forearms.
Ellie watched you with drunk looking eyes. Now she looks like the one who smoked the joint.
“I’ve imagined this before, so often it’s kinda embarrassing” she confesses.
You shake your head. “Im sure that I could keep up with it”
Your fingers started to make little circles around her nipples while you watched her face carefully, so that you wouldn’t kiss one expression.
Her eyes shut down and her brows furrow in pleasure.
For a while both of you almost fought about the control.
“Please let me take this off” she begs her hands already on your back, as she fumbles trying to get your bra open which was hard because you were moving a lot. From her neck, to her ear, to the other side.
But as soon as your breast were completely exposed, Ellie’s eyes darken and a satisfied grin appears on her mouth.
Feeling her eyes on you made your skin burn and you bury your face in your hands again growling frustrated.
“Please stop Ellie” you begged but you couldn’t help letting a little laugh coming out of your mouth.
You felt her hands on your boobs grabbing them softly, with a chuckle she starts massaging them.
“Stop What?” She mumbles, playing dumb obviously.
Her hands leave and suddenly it feels too cold without them. Ellie gently grabs your wrist and moves your hands away, so she could look at your face.
“Look at me, I won’t do anything unless you watch” she whispers.
It terrifies you for some reason. This moment and the consequences it will have.
Her head moves a bit lower to your boobs and she looks you in the eyes. You feel your emotions everywhere in your body, some are different from others.
“Here”
Ellie takes your hand and guides it too her hair.
“Hold my hair back for me” her voice sounds almost like she was in a trance, a trance she surly enjoyed.
The strings of her hair felt soft around your fingers and you decided to use both of your hands, so that no hair got into her face.
You heard a soft chuckle before she starts kissing your breast softly at first, while looking at you.
Her lips slightly brush against your already swollen nipple and you let out a loud high pitched moan.
You could feel her grin on your skin and all the embarrassment was gone.
She gently caresses over your nipple with her tongue and her fingers played with the other one.
“I really love these fuck” she whispers
The feeling in your core got worse and worse and the needy feeling was almost getting too painful.
“Ellie please I-“ her tongue flickers over you pink swollen nipple and you moan again.
“Hm?” She says completely focused on her work.
“Can you please eat me out or finger me I don’t care just please-“
the look on you face showed her how much you need it, because she immediately stopped and dropped you off her lap onto the bed.
“Yeah I can do that, didn’t know you could ever beg for something” she lets out a little giggle in her typical husky voice, while she kisses you down your body.
Your back found the wall and you changed your position, so that you could still watch her.
Her hands removed your underwear and the cold on your pussy makes you shiver.
She puts your legs over her shoulder and lays down on her stomach.
Her head lift up and she looks at you with a grin, an amused grin.
“What?” Your voice shakes a bit.
“Nothing just happy to be here”
You let out a loud laugh which died a second later, because Ellie starts to lick your clit in evil circles.
“You’re so fucking wet” she murmurs with closed eyes just saw tasting you.
Your voice got louder and louder by every move her tongue made and you could feel her enjoying every second.
“Oh my god faster Ellie please-“
Her tongue licks you faster, she couldn’t stop humming to your moans like she was feeling it too.
“You taste so good, just like I imagined”
Because of her words you got Even more turned on and you moan again, while Ellies holding you legs steady around her face.
“I’m gonna add a finger okay?”
You nodded energetic and gave off a little noise.
“Please Ellie just fuck me” you’re voice sounded like somebody else’s, way too high and way too filthy.
Ellie just chuckled and put her a finger inside your Pussy. She could feel how you’re legs tense on her cheek, as she continued too lick you’re clit.
The cruel combination made you go crazy, feeling dizzy in your head and your hips began too move on their own.
Ellie saw that as a sign too go faster as well, and her finger pushed in an out of your cunt.
“Ellie- please don’t stop”
She grins again, never imagined she would actually have you going crazy like this because of her.
“You’re getting tighter you close baby?” She teased shameless.
“Fuck- so close god-“
She adds another finger and the sudden stret made you moan and tremble at the same time.
“Come for me baby, please, make a mess on my fingers” Ellie sounded close herself and hearing her voice this desperate made you come so hard that you only saw stars for a moment.
“Oh my god- Ellie I’m gonna-!”
You came hard and ellie took everything you gave her, slurping and licking the fuck out of you.
You couldn’t stop panting for a moment, coming down from your high.
When you open your eyes Ellie was still cleaning up the mess you made, feeling her tongue on your skin.
“Okay Ellie- enough or I’m gonna cum again”
You said chuckling.
“Not my fault you taste so good holy shit” she puts her finger in her mouth.
“Ew ellie”
“Shut up I just fucked you with my mouth, you’re not allowed too judge me right now” she slides up to you and kisses your lips deeply with her tongue in your mouth, so you could taste yourself.
You kiss her back, just as eager, but the anxious thoughts won’t leave you alone.
“Um-“ you break the the kiss and Ellie whimpers slightly.
“Ellie is this just-“
“I love you.” She interrupts you, saying the words fast and it didn’t feel real for a second.
“What”
“Ive loved you for a while now I just- I’m sorry for not telling you but I was scared, god I was scared”
Her words hurt you, because you’ve felt the same way. Being too scared to tell someone how you feel is a shitty feeling.
She looks at you, but broke the eye contact immediately.
You pull her into you, kissing her cheek, her nose, her forehead, her everything.
“I also love you… that for a while as well”
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A.n: sorry this was so fucking long 😭
And please Interact with the link about helping Palestine it’s literally just one click per day!!!
Anyways I hope you liked it and if there’s anything that I’ve missed or smth pls tell me!!
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bippiti · 15 days
Text
505 cl16
where you reminisce on your first love
wc 3k
an done for my 1.2k event! first fic in the series, lmk if you wanna be tagged and as always pls like + rb<3
(starts in 2014, ends in 2024ish)
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i'm going back to 505
you rushed down the road, feet peddling as hard as they could as you biked down the street. your eyes glanced down to your watch, squinting before you read the time. great. you were going to be late.
you thought that was you’re biggest problem, and then a new one came crashing onto you, literally.
while you were busy checking the time, you failed too notice someone else running in your direction. you don't know what had them too preoccupied to notice you- but you could technically say the same thing about yourself so-
you were bought back to the moment by the stinging you started to feel on your knees, you hissed looking down and seeing red. ugh
you began to apologize, looking up and stopping mid sentence.
wow. he was pretty. really pretty
you slapped yourself mentally, wincing while standing up. it was definitely going to scar. you reached your hand down to help the mysterious boy up, who sharply inhaled when your hands met. he had scraped his hands up pretty bad when you guys collided.
"i'm so sorry again"
"you're completely fine, i should've been paying more attention" he said while laughing
he has nice laugh
"anyway, i think i should properly introduce myself, i'm charles le clerc" this time he was the one to extend his hand out
"y/n l/n, nice to meet you" you smiled as you shook hands
then you remembered what had gotten you into this mess. you checked your watch again. you were definitely late now.
"i'm so sorry charles but im running late to a painting class, i really need to go" you picked up your bike, kicking the dust off of it.
"wait i am too, are you going to mme. callarios?"
you looked back at him in shock. "how did you know"
he shook his head, "you're going in the wrong direction, since we're heading the same way mind if i show you?"
you didn't see why not, so he climbed in front of you and began to head towards your class
-
if it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
the bike halted as you reached your destination. building 505. you stared at each other nervously before walking in. the class had started at 1pm, and it was nearing 2 when you arrived. granted, it was a 4 hour class but still.
you cringed internally as you felt all eyes on you when you opened the doors to the class.
"y/n, charles! great to see you. we've split up into partners, so you both will have to work together. decide who will be the painter and who will be the model for the first piece. switch in an hour and a half!" she explained quickly, ushering you both to the only empty table.
you both sat across from each other, and after a small game of rock paper scissors, you were adjusting in your seat getting ready to pose for the next 90 minutes.
-
when you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect?
you didn't know how you managed to keep a straight face, his stares were piercing into what felt like your soul. you knew that he had to be like this, he was painting you after all. but knowing that didn't help. after silently uttering some words of encouragement to yourself, you maintained a straight face.
after what felt like forever, you heard the timer go off, and with one last stroke of the brush charles was up and you were swapping places. you cracked your knuckles before sitting on the stool. this was gonna have to be the best painting you've ever done.
before you knew it you were hearing to now familiar ring as you finished off the details of his eyes. you stood up, backing away from the piece. not too bad you thought.
after everyone had finished, you went to the room across as they all dried. it was acrylic, so it wouldn't take too long. there were snacks and refreshments scattered throughout the space. grabbing a drink and seat, you started to learn more about charles. he had two brothers, one older and younger. his mom still cut his hair, you thought he might be embarrased but he showed it off proudly.
“all these years and she still hasn't given me a bad haircut”
“if my mom could cut hair like yours, i'd be getting it done by her too”
“you should come by her salon sometime, i think she'd like you”
“really?”
“yeah, she's out of town so next month when she's back”
with those plans made, you collectively went back into the painting room. you both swapped paintings and looked at them for a while.
you gauged his reaction, at first his face was blank and you were scared that you had made him look like a troll or something, but slowly a smile creeped up onto his face, he looked up to you.
“it's really good”
you smiled and looked down to yours, he had gotten your likeliness down to a t. he left clear marks and left the strokes visible.
looking up you saw him searching your eyes for a reaction, just like you had.
“you did so good, i love your painting style”
he seemed relieved when you said that, smiling. as everyone around you began to pack up and leave, you both exchanged numbers before grabbing your paintings and going your separate ways.
-
not shy of a spark
you had texted back and forth a lot since then, and soon enough you found yourself at the doorstep of his moms salon. after being welcomed in you sat down and showed her photos of the haircut you wanted. she nodded, and began to wet your hair
“charles talks about you a lot, you know”
“does he really” you said with a laugh
“he does, i think he likes you dear”
that shut you up, she smiled warmly
“at this age, love is everywhere, make sure you grab it while you can”
you left the appointment with amazing hair and a lot of questions, you didn't think he could possibly like you back. but now, who knows
the knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark
-
I'm going back to 505
you walk into the painting studio, excited with the a dragonfruit in your hand. today was still life day, normally you found it boring but mme. callarios had let everyone bring their own fruit.
you spotted charles when you got in, and lifted your dragonfruit for him to see. he put his hand up, showing off the orange he had started to peel. he tore off a piece for you, and offered it once you got closer.
your hand was cramping as your eyes continued to squint at the pink fruit in front of you. you regretted picking dragon fruit barely half an hour in, the seeds and the outer skin were proving difficult to paint accurately, you glanced over to charles, his was coming along nicely. you ended up pushing through the ugly phase and were somewhat proud of the piece. it had definitely been your most challenging one so far
-
If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
you were biking to charles' place, over the weeks you had both become closer, and he wanted to cook for you. you were somewhat scared, charles didn't seem like michelin star material, but maybe he'd surprise you.
he did end up surprising you, but not in the way that you thought.
pasta was on the menu for the afternoon, and you sat on the counter as he went around getting all the ingredients ready. basil, pine nuts, garlic, and olive oil were all pushed onto an island before he began on the pasta. getting out the flour and egg, he began to knead the dough together.
he looked nice in moments like this, comfortable. you liked to think that maybe you could see more of him like this, when he's quiet and the silence isn't awkward. existing together in his apartment kitchen. once he was done cutting the dough into pieces, he salted the water and dropped the pasta in. he came over to you and you both began talking.
you ended up getting so immersed in the conversation that the pasta was forgotten- at least until it was too late. you glanced over to the stove, eyes widening as you saw smoke rising from the pan. you both jumped up and yanked it off the gas, bringing it to the sink. what was going to be amazing pasta was now a charred rock. you couldn't help but laugh before getting side eyed by charles.
"i guess we're going to have to order pizza instead"
you ended up binging some random show you found on netflix, and as a souvenir took home the rock of burnt pasta, you named it char, short for charles charcoal
-
In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side
charles had become a f3 driver now, and hadn't been in monaco for a bit. you watched all his races, and you were the first person he called after his first win in pau-ville. he was excited, and so were you.
you're feelings for him had kept growing, and you couldn't help it, no matter how much you tried. you loved everything about him, his eyes, and how they'd light up when he saw you, his smile, and the dimples that formed when he did. his hair, his voice, just him.
soon enough he was back in monaco and you were excited to see him.
you grabbed coffee and began walking around the streets, stopping at building 505, walking into the currently empty studio. you looked around some of the paintings before sitting on some stools.
you knew him too well now, 3 years of friendship will do that. he was nervous, when he bought his hand up to his face you had saw he had bitten his nails. you didn't bring it up, but before you could say anything he started to speak
"i've been trying to figure out how i should say this for the longest time. i've known for a while now, but it really hit me in pau. i couldn't have don't any of this without you, i don't even think i'd be who i am without you y/n. and now that i'm back i can' t handle not telling you. i like you, i really like you"
you were stunned for a minute, before you kicked back the stool you were sitting in and kissed him. the puzzles had fallen into place, you couldn't believe it.
he deepened the kiss, bringing his hand to your waist as you sat in his lap. your fingers ran through his hair, tugging as you began to roll your hips against his.
you pulled away, panting. smiling at him before you began to kiss him again, his hands roamed down to your shirt, tugging it up as he separated from you again. you raised your arms, and took his off as well. a silent beat skipped between you both and you laughed
"are we really about to do this right now"
"yeah, i think we are"
you pulled him closer to you once again, his tongue slipped int your mouth effortlessly and you almost moaned, god he knew how to make you melt.
soon enough, the rest of your clothes followed suit and you were on the cool tile floor. as his hand started to trace your inner thigh you grabbed his hand. he looked up, somewhat confused but before he could say anything you spoke,
'i've never done this before"
he relaxes almost immediately, and smiles down at you
"neither have i"
you weren't ashamed to admit you were shocked, sopmeone like him.. never? not once?
he could see the gears turning in his head and he spoke up
"there were girls now and then sure, but i always wanted it to be you, it's always been you honestly"
you couldn't see yourself rn, but you were sure you were giving im heart eyes by now.
"it was the same for me too actually" you said sheepishly
"was it really?
"yeah, it was" and with that you bought your hands up to his shoulder, flipping him onto the floor. you kissed him softly, turning his face to kiss along his jaw, his neck, going further down to his chest, then stomach. pausing for permission, after seeing his nod you pulled down, eyes widening as you saw it. well this was gonna be interesting
you left kisses on his tip, working your way down before you took him all in your mouth. he hit the back of your throat and you almost choked, but hearing the moans coming out of his mouth kept you going. you could feel him start to pulse, and before you could do anything else he was bringing you off of him, kissing your lips as he turned you around.
“can’t have you doing all the work can i cher?” he said as he pulled your underwear down, almost moaning when he looked down at you, all of you.
he traced his hands down your sternum, down to your waist and legs. spreading you open he dipped his face down.
you could feel his tongue inside you, pulsing before he started scissoring you open. he was good- too good at this. you don’t know if you could handle it. soon enough, he was back on top of you, kissing you gently as he lined himself up with your entrance.
he cleaned you up afterwards, he was quiet, soft. you could get used to this
-
but I crumble completely when you cry
it had been months since that night, you and charles had been going strong, but after he joined f2, something changed. his eyes no longer lit up when he saw you, he started buying things for you instead of making them. you’d wake up to your phone being full of messages, but none of them from him.
it hurt. he hurt.
it shouldn’t have come as a surprise when he called you, asking where you were.
you answered, mme. callarios’ place. he said he was going to be there soon.
you felt your heart drop, wether it was excitement or fear, you couldn’t tell.
you knew the minute he stepped through the door it was going to be bad. you could read him like a book. you composed yourself as he came closer, pressing quick kisses to the others cheeks, you painted a smile on your face and smiled at him.
his eyes were full of emotion, for the first time in months. it’s almost funny, you knew it was coming but the moment the words left his mouth you broke down
“i’ve been seeing someone else”
“i see”
at first it didn’t register, not really. a heartbeat later you felt the tears pricking at your eyes. you turned around trying to excuse yourself, but before you could take another step a sob escaped your lips. you started to cry. you couldn’t shut up, why couldn’t you just shut up? you could feel yourself gasping for breath, all the air in the world wasn’t enough for your lungs right now. you were getting lightheaded, knees turning shaky before ultimately giving up on you. the impact resonated around the empty room.
he stepped forward, kneeling down. his stupid, warm hands brushed up against your face, trying to wipe away your tears.
you couldn’t even push him off of you. you really were pathetic.
you managed to fight your way up, shaking and all but running out the door.
never again, you were never going to love anyone like that again
-
i’m going back to 505
you walked into a crowded room. your latest collection had been getting a lot of coverage in the media, and it was the last day it was up for the public. the pieces would be going to the individual buyers first thing tomorrow.
building 505. it no longer made a bitter taste seep into your mouth. it’s crazy to think a decade ago you were standing here painting him, how time flies.
the first few months were the worst. he was the only thing you could think of, you were a broken record. so naturally, you did the one thing that made you feel close to him again, painting. and it saved you
you could get out every thought you were too afraid to say out loud, every emotion you didn’t want to feel with simple strokes on canvas
you didn’t think anything would come of it, honestly. you were meant to go into investment banking, like your parents. the universe had other plans though
one of mme. callarios’ friends was a museum director, and took a liking to your pieces. he asked you to do some works on commission. word got around fast, and now you’ve made a name for yourself as an artist, in some ways all thanks to charles
charles. now he had his dream job, f1. working with the team he used to tell you about, the team he worshipped.
you were happy for him, sometimes you wonder if he was happy for you. you still think of him when you eat pesto, you still keep char in a jar under your bed, you have all of the paintings you made that summer in a closet collecting dust. there were pieces of yourself that you gave to him that will stay his even though you’re done.
none of that matters now though, you turn to someone who’s called your name and start explaining the piece they’ve asked about
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mewhenimanangel · 8 months
Text
everywhere ʚɞ miles morales x reader
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: 42!miles morales x reader
synopsis: you were a wreck. it’s your mom’s one year anniversary since she passed. miles helps you feel better
wc: 3.0k
warnings!: swearing, death, death jokes, violence, kissing, n word used
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you begrudgingly pulled your blanket off you and went to the bathroom to brush your teeth. you were fighting so hard to not crawl back in your bed and sob into your pillow. it was the anniversary of your mom's death and all you wanted to do was cry.
you got in your uniform and put sunscreen and lotion on your face, not bothering to do anything else. you grabbed your bag and your phone and went out your door. your dad was standing there making coffee when he turned around to walk over to you and embrace you in a hug. "good morning baby" he pulled you back to see your quivering lip.
"i know, i miss her too. say what how about i make her special pasta that she always made. or at least attempt to." he joked. "yeah sure whatever" you fanned your tears and went out the door. safiya was standing outside your building waiting to walk with you. "hey bebe how you doing?" she rubbed your back. " i'm fine" you faked a smile. she knew you were lying but she didn't say anything and you two just walked to school.
your classes went by quickly, probably because you spent 90% of them staring out the window. currently you were in physics class doing the exact same thing, it's been a month since your schedule switched and you and miles grew a little closer, as close as he'd let you. you'd exchanged numbers and followed each other on social media. and he would join you and safiya on the walk home, silently walking at your side while you chat with your best friend.
miles looked through the side of his eye and noticed you hadn't even picked up your pencil since class started and were just staring into space, dejected expression on your face. he nudged your shoulder and whispered "what's up with you today, chiquita?"
"mm? oh, nothing." you mumbled looking back down on your desk. "you ain't even write your name, ms bennett's gonna get on your ass" he snickered. you just snorted a bit before going back to stare out the window. it was a rainy day out, how ironic.
he could tell something was off with you so he decided to help you out. "here, i'm done" he moved his paper to your desk. "just copy it" he told you.
you smiled at him before writing down everything he had on his paper, on yours. "you look different today" referring to your bare face "in a good way" he added when he saw your eyebrows furrow. "um thanks" you finished your paper just in time for the bell to ring.
you were in the bathroom washing your hands when the melanie came in. "oh..hi y/n, we miss you in math" she said with a condescending smile on her face. you rolled your eyes and dried your hands before getting ready to leave. "oh by the way since your fine daddy's single, do you think you could give him my number." you face twisted in disgust and you turned around and shoved her up against the wall. "fucking say shit bout my parents again and i'll fucking kill you." you snapped, pushing her head back against the wall.
"bitch is that a fucking threat?!" she pushed you off her. "yes bitch! i'll fucking gut-" "girls, where are we supposed to be??" a hall monitor interrupted coming into the bathroom. you grumbled an insult before pushing pass her and heading to the roof.
miles looked over from his conversation and saw you storming off from the bathroom, melanie following shorty after with the monitor trailing behind her. "yo i'll see you later aight" he dapped his friend up and followed behind you.
his eyebrows furrowed when he saw you sneak through the rooftop door. he followed through the door and snuck up the stairs. he saw you hunched over on the ground and he could hear your sniffles from here. he didn't mean to slam the door but he did and it startled you. you darted your head over your shoulders, quickly wiping your tears when you saw him. "what are you doing here?" you put your head back on your knees. "saw you when you stormed outta the bathroom, you looked upset. then i saw you come up here and i wanted to make sure you ain't kill yourself" he joked, making you giggle.
"why you up here anyway? and why you crying?" he asked, sitting down next to you. "i told mr brown i'd water the garden." your voice was breaking. "doesn't explain why you're crying ma" he looked at you. you didn't say anything for a moment, taking a deep breath before you opened your mouth. "today was the day my mom died, like a year ago today" you told explained. "i promised myself i wasn't gonna cry today but that fucking cunt melanie loves to piss me off"
"that why you said you fought her?" he asked. "mhm" you mumbled. "well she's a fucking bitch. don't take that shit from her." he told you, you nodding your head. "but...i get it. my dad's dead and when he died, niggas thought something was funny? so that's why i had beat lincoln's ass" he said. "god the people here suck so bad. m'sorry about your dad." you told him. "it's aight, i'm sorry about your mom" you smiled and nodded your head, holding back the tears that dared to slip down your face. "it's alright to cry ma. don't hold back i'm not gonna judge you"
you blinked and your tears came flowing down your face, you leaned your head on his shoulder and he didn't move it he just let you cry. "i just wanna go see her grave, but it's all the way in westchester" you wiped your tears. he stayed silent for a moment "then let's go see it. i have my license and i know where my dad's old car is" he told you, rising to his feet. "what? we can't do that. we have school and you can't just take your dad's car." you rose to yours too.
"what, is he gonna stop me?" he said making you giggle. "that's crazy. you don't have to do this really it's fine" "it's alright, if it'll make you feel better i don't mind. come on let's go through the door in the green hallway" he said going through the roof door, you following behind. you opened your phone to tell safiya you were skipping with miles.
'miles is taking me to my mom's grave??😭
we're ditching come with us' you sent the text.
'girl WHAT 💀' she sent.
'that emoji feels familiar 🤔' you sent back.
'stop. anyways i cant come, bout to start a test. just be safe baby. i love you' she sent back.
miles scoped out the hallway making sure no teachers or monitors were around. he pushed through the door and you two made a break for it down the street. "wait, i wanna get something" you pointed to the grocery store down the street.
you both went in and you picked up a bouquet of pink roses, her favorite flowers, from the front. you went to another aisle and picked up a pack of ferrero rocher chocolates "these were her favorite. one time my dad stood her up with work on valentine's day so she and i watched her favorite movie and ate a whole big pack of these. we were so sick afterwards. after i threw up she gave me medicine and sang me to sleep" you lightly laughed, biting your lips to hold back your tears. "she sounds great" he said giving you a comforting smile. "she really was"
you checked out and miles took you to an old garage, tugging open the door, a black buick sat on the other side. "does this even still work?" you asked opening the door. "should. if not i'll just make it" he turned the key in the ignition, engine sputtering in response. he groaned, opening the electrical system. he pulled out two wires, hitting them together until a spark emerged and the engine started. he looked at you with a cocky smile "there, all we need is some gas" "how do you know how to do that?" you asked putting on your seatbelt. "don't worry bout it" he drove off.
after stopping at a gas station and filling up the tank, you two drove the hour and a half drive to westchester graveyard. he let you control the music and would occasionally glance over at you while you just stared out the window. he watched you put your legs up in criss cross apple sauce and doze off, smiling at the way your mouth fell open and he could hear your soft snoring.
he pulled into a nearby parking lot and tapped your thigh "we're here" he told you. you stretched and rubbed your eyes, looking around to make sure it was the right place. "you were snoring mad hard" he teased you. "i was not!" you gasped. "yes you were" "nuh uh, i do not snore" you retorted. "yes you do, could barely hear the music" he lied. you rolled your eyes fondly and opened the car door, grabbing the chocolates and the flowers.
he followed your lead to her headstone and you let yourself plop down next to it, resting the flowers down gently. "hey mom" you leaned your head back. "miss you, god even after a year it still doesn't feel real" your voice was breaking and miles figured he'd back off a little, sitting back on a bench nearby.
"i'm a junior now, me and safiya are still as close as ever but i've been making new friends. dad and i have been weird but if feels like it's getting back to normal now?? his cooking still sucks ass tho" you giggled "oh i got a job now, i'm a barista at mel's. i've been letting my hair grow longer and i redecorated my room. i started reading those poetry books that you had always wanted me to and brandy's been in my playlists on repeat, maybe it's silly to do this because i like to think that you know all this already cause you're watching over me."
"i miss you so much mommy. god i wish you would just come back, how is this not some stupid joke" you wiped your tears, but they wouldn't stop streaming down your face. you turned around and kneeled, knees sinking into the soil beneath you, hands resting on top. you couldn't control it anymore you let out a broken cry and shoved your face in your hands.
you felt miles tap your shoulder and pulled you to your feet. you looked at him, face scrunched up with bloodshot teary eyes. he moved a hand up to your cheek wiping away the tears that rolled down your face. "ugh this is embarrassing" you grumbled, shoving your face in his chest, and he put his arms around your shoulders. "it really isn't. i get it y/n, trust me it'll be okay. i'm not saying it's gon stop hurting but it'll hurt a little less with time." he told you.
he reached in his book bag and took out a small pack of tissues. he handed them to you so you could wipe your tears off. "put your leg up" he told you putting his hand on the underneath of your knee. you put your hands on his shoulders to support yourself and he used the tissues to clean your knees. you let out a small laugh "thanks. really thank you so much for this, you genuinely did not have to do this at all." "it's alright ma"
you checked your phone seeing a missed call and  texts rom your dad. 'where you at? school call me tell me you not there??' 'answer me before i call the police' they read. you giggled a little before telling him you were in westchester, which he did not take lightly and told you you were in trouble but right now you didn't care.
you went to the bench miles was sitting on and grabbed the chocolates. "you wanna eat some with me?" you asked him, holding out one to his hand. "you not gonna eat till you throw up right. i don't fuck with vomit." he put out his hand. "no!" you laughed which made him smile.
the two of you sat there on the bench for about another half an hour talking about whatever. your parents, your lives outside of school and knowing each other, etc. while eating the chocolates. you stopped yourself before you got too into them. "ah we should probably start driving back" you told him. "you sure?" he looked at you. "yeah, dad said i'm in trouble when i get home anyways" you got up and closed the container.
"well. since you're already out can i take you somewhere?" he asked. you twisted your mouth in thought "but my dad-" "well if you're already in trouble when you get back why not stay out a little longer" you let him convince you and got in the car for the drive back to brooklyn.
when you got to brooklyn he drove straight past your buildings and to a nearby unused subway station. you went down and he walked you all the way to the end of the platform going onto the side of the tracks. "alright are you trying to fucking kill me" you hesitated in following him. he chuckled "relax ma, no trains run here anymore it's an old track" he put his hand out to you and you took it and you both walked down the tracks. "alright we gotta hop the fence" he told you.
"are you crazy" you furrowed your eyebrows at him. "it's not even that high up, i'll go first" he climbed the fence and jumped down, swiftly landing on his feet. you followed behind and lost your balance when you were on top causing you to fall over but not before he caught you and put you down. "will you chill out" he laughed at your annoyed expression.
you kept walking for about a minute until you saw a wall full of graffiti. "my uncle takes me down here sometimes and we just paint" he told you, tossing a can at you. "you wanna do a mural for her?" he asked you. you smiled and nod your head "what does she look like?" he asked you. you pulled out your phone and opened the photo album you had dedicated to her, picked a photo and gave him the phone.
"wow she's beautiful. you guys look like twins" he said holding up the phone to a blank part of the wall. "she should fit right in there." "you think i know how to spray paint?" you said shaking the can. "i can help you."
and so he did, he found a color to match her skin tone and her facial features. he did most of the artwork, putting you on his shoulders to do the hair and the top of the rose. you stepped back and admired the finished product. it was your mom with a big smile on her face with her signature red lip, you added details such as your matching necklace, the beauty mark on her cheek, her smile lines and a hand that held a single pink rose.
you smiled and tears stung your eyes, mix of happy and sad but mostly happy. you looked at the time and saw it was almost 9 o'clock. "ohh my dad is gonna kill me" you groaned. "do you think you could take me home now?" you asked him. "yeah it's mad late" he picked up his bookbag and you guys walked back out of the track.
he drove the car back to the garage and you grabbed your book bag before you guys  got out, walking to your block getting to the front of your building. "thank you for today, like seriously. i don't know anybody who would've drove me out for two hours just to sit at a grave." you giggled. "you were sad and i didn't like that, wanted to make you feel better." he nudged your shoulder. "you did make me feel better, thank you" you threw your arm around him, pulling him into a tight hug wrapping around his waist.
you threw your arms up to his face, pinching his cheeks "who knew you were such a big softy morales" you said in a playful baby voice. he rolled his eyes before looking into yours, face softening. your hands were still on his face and his were still around your torso.
your eyes flickered down to his lips before going back to his eyes, you leaned in and pressed your lips to his. you quickly pulled back "oh sorry! don't know what came over me" you frantically apologized. "don't apologize" he whispered before pulling you back in. you threw your arms around his neck, hand rubbing against his fade. his hands were on your waist pulling you closer to him.
you were interrupted by your dad poking through the window five stories up. "y/n! you had me going crazy wondering what the hell you were doing and you out here kissing boys?!" he shouted, baffled expression on his face. "girl get inside" he told you through gritted teeth. "goodnight miles" you giggled pulling away from him. "g'night" he said back to you. "and boy who your parents is? cause i will be giving them a call! got my damn daughter out at night kissing all up on her" he pointed at miles, grumbling the last part. "dad relax!" you shouted up at him. "get inside!" "what does it look like i'm doing?!" you shouted back, opening the building door.
taglist ౨ৎ
@prettypink-princesss @itsnotino @r3d0n33 @iluvprowlermiles @jmsanchoo
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msgexymunson · 8 months
Text
The Rhythm Of The Night
Fem!reader v older!drugdealer!eddie
Overview: The weekend has landed and you're out clubbing, as you often do, and your hot drug dealer is tagging along. Safe to say, things get a little heated! 
AN: 90s AU, Eddie is 31, reader non specific around early 20s. I've been out for a while, struggling with mental health, so I hope this finds you all in a better state than I've been. Remember, comments and reblogs are my life blood. P.S. Before you ask, yes it is very much possible (if you know, you know)
Warnings: reader uses she/her pronouns, a lot of smut, some of it fluffy, slight age gap, NSFW (minors DNI or I'll tell your mother) female fingering, boob play, P in V unprotected sex (be safe guys and girls), drug taking, descriptions of drug taking and highs, sex whilst high (!!)
10k words
Masterlist
OK, it’s all good. You’re gonna be fine. You say softly to yourself as you hug your coat tight around you, too long sleeves hiding your chilly fingers. Hopping from one foot to the next you try to mentally coax yourself to a comfortable state. It’s clearly not working. 
You’re just going out. Clubbing, like you have dozens of times with your friends. And Eddie, your insanely hot drug dealer, is tagging along. No biggie. 
But it is a biggie. Since you’d met the messy haired rocker you were smitten; utterly taken by his rough demeanour, roguish grin and deep brown eyes. Eyes you could lose yourself in. You nearly had. 
Your schoolgirl crush had done nothing but expand on each meeting with him. Stolen glances and flushed cheeks peppered the memories of your rendezvous, along with perpetual flirtatious comments. You came to quickly learn that Eddie flirts just as easy as breathing. He’s a charmer; a salesman. Brushing it off as just Eddie’s personality was a different matter. Your brain told you it was just his nature; but your heart lingered on every word. 
Rubbing your hands together in their impromptu hiding place, you blow on them to attempt to warm them up, your mind wandering to earlier today. 
It was supposed to be just a regular pick up. You had needed to collect some ‘social medication’ from Eddie for the rave tonight, so you had bounced over there, happy to have an excuse to see him. 
The door had flown open sooner than you had expected, which forced an already chapped bottom lip to be sucked in between your teeth as you bit softly on the broken skin. 
"Hey bunny, you're early." Eddie's smile smeared across his face, buttery and filling; his teeth flashing with earnest and a dash of debauchery. His chin was marked with his rough stubble; a dark rugged nearly beard that was permanently etched across his features.
"Hey Eds!" You fired back with an innocent grin of your own.
You remember it clearly, him leaning on the doorframe shirtless, showing off countless cheap tattoos littered across his alabaster skin. You knew about the tattoos, but you had no idea about his pierced nipples. They gleamed in the light; the silver bars caught your eye and refused to let go. His teasingly muscular frame was fully displayed, making you dart your pink tongue out to lick your lips impulsively. He looked naturally muscular, erring on the side of skinny. More inclined to slenderness in your mind; you thought he was probably not fussed enough about his image to work out. 
Your eyes widened as you realised you were staring, and you forced your gaze away and back to his. A knowing smirk pulled at Eddie's cheeks, altogether a bit too sure of himself, as per usual. 
"Sorry, didn't have time to change, you know?" Eddie lied through his teeth. Of course he had time to change. You knew it as well as he did. A part of you had wished that he had stayed shirtless because he felt the same way you did, but you were almost certain the reason was just to see your reaction. 
"Yeah, sure, sorry to bounce in on you like this." You had shrugged in an attempt to act blasé about his partial nudity, despite how your cheeks had rapidly grown in heat. Just thinking about it now had your face flushing in solidarity. 
"Well, you are one for bouncing. Should've known, Bunny." He laughed, drinking in your figure with his eyes, before he gestured for you to make yourself comfortable. Eddie had made his way over to his desk to find what you wanted; scrambling through the drawers haphazardly. 
"Aha! There you are, you lil sucker" Eddie exclaimed whilst he tugged a familiar tiny plastic bag from the bottom drawer. It had hearts inlaid on the clip close rim; the contents were a crystalline, slightly yellowish substance. MDMA. That same baggy currently resides inside a fabric pocket in your bra. You try to forget its presence so you’re less nervous when it comes to getting into the club. 
"Thanks, you're a lifesaver!" You had made grabby hands at him which earned a warm chuckle. He held it out of reach, just to see your endearing pout. 
"Now, remember, plenty of water, sips not gulps. And don't chew your tongue." As he wagged a teacher's finger at you, he tossed the baggy. 
Rolling your eyes at that, you catch the bag clumsily. He had held out his hand and you had stared at it doltishly in a feeble attempt to get free drugs.
"Come on trouble, don't play dumb with me."
Eddie had given you an admonishing look, but there was no bite to it. As you huffed dramatically, you reached in your pocket and handed him a couple of crumpled notes. As he reached to take them, he held your hand for a second. You feel a flash of heat through you at the mere memory of his touch. 
"Now, I can't keep giving freebies to all the pretty girls, or I won't earn anything at all." 
You flushed at that; the apples of your cheeks had diffused into a deep magenta. He thinks you're pretty. That phrase had turned around and around in your head all day. 
"Besides, I'm broke right now." 
Before you could have processed how to speak properly, you had blurted out "come raving with me!" 
"Oh Bunny, that's not really my scene, you know that." 
"I know but, I mean, if you're broke, you could earn a bit of cash."
"I suppose you're right." 
"It'll be awesome, Eds, trust me." You grinned hugely as you gave him the details of where to meet, practically vibrating with excitement. 
It was only after you had left, with lingering thoughts of Eddie’s bare torso in your mind, that reality decided to hit you like a ton of bricks. 
I can barely speak to him without getting nervous or embarrassed and saying some stupid shit; how the hell am I going to survive tonight? 
Shaking your head, wishing it was some sort of etch-a-sketch, you focus back on your calming mantra, trying to block out the creeping nerves winding around your spine like unwanted vines. 
Huffing into the night air, you shimmy your coat sleeve up to check the time on your watch when a large pair of hands grab you by the waist and a gravelly voice whispers in your ear, “baby you come here often?” 
Jumping bodily, you twist to face your attacker and realise it’s Eddie. 
“Eddie I was about to punch you, fuck!” 
Eddie laughs deep in his throat, hands travelling to hold you by the hips. Your heart jumps at the unfamiliar gesture. 
“Sorry bunny, couldn’t resist. I’ll make it up to you, promise.” That grin, that damn wink. Any resolve you had melts in their wake as you stare up into those chocolate brown eyes. 
“Shall we, er, go?” You manage to stumble out, voice suddenly as skittish as a mare. 
“Lead the way, trouble.” Eddie smirks, giving your hips a final squeeze.
Trying your best to ignore the rush of blood to your cheeks you lead him around a few side streets and down an alley. You had arranged to meet your friends a couple of streets away from the club. 
“Well, look at the bunny leading me down some alley; what are you planning on doing with me?” 
You roll your eyes in his direction. “Yeah, you wish, Eds. We’re meeting my friends, just around this corner.” 
“Shame.” A further blush threatens to inch across your face at that, whilst a thought of a smile tugs at your lips. You look over to Eddie to catch him staring straight at you and quickly look away. Maybe he does like me? 
You’re unable to dwell on the look however, as the minute you turn a corner you hear a loud, obnoxious voice shout “BUNNY!” 
Before you can react a tall, lanky dark haired boy wraps himself in a koala hug around your middle. 
“Tech! Good evening!” You smile. He peels himself off you in order to give Eddie an appraising look. 
“Well, well, the infamous Eddie. Pleasure to meet you.” As he sticks his hand out. Eddie takes it, and finds himself pulled into a hug he was not expecting judging from the look on his face. Coughing, he pats Tech on the back. “Er, pleasure dude.” 
“Been pre gaming, Tech?” You giggle. 
“Only always!” He responds with a toothy grin. 
Pointing at your other friends, you introduce the short blond with the shy smile “Eddie, this is Panda.” She waves with her fingers and blushes. Pointing to the built guy with the dreadlocks you smile “And Mustard.” 
Mustard pouts, “I told you guys to stop calling me that!” His indignation is merely met with giggles from you and your friends. 
As you take Eddie’s arm and start leading him round the corner to the club you feel him bend slightly to speak in your ear. 
“So, anyone have a real name or is this gonna be a theme?” 
You giggle, “Well Tech’s name is Wojtech, it's Polish, so technically it’s his real name. Plus, he is our own very camp IT whiz. Panda, well we met her with that name, we kinda took her in, you know?” 
“Ah, that's good. I hear Panda’s are going extinct. Very humanitarian of you.” 
“Indeed.” You smirk up at him in time to see his warm smile pouring towards you, and feel a heat pool in your belly. 
Approaching a lit doorway with a metal barrier outside, your group stops behind a small queue of fellow party goers. You and Eddie hang back whilst your friends fumble about in various pockets for their entry tickets. You already have yours and Eddies clutched in your hand slightly too hard, crumpling the card with nerves. 
"And, erm… Mustard?" 
You giggle, dropping your voice a little lower given the content of your conversation. Eddie bends lower so you can whisper to him. "Yes, but he hates it. We were at an after party, he'd taken a crap load of speed. We were all winding down and he kept asking us to play Cluedo. Well Tech shouted, 'who do you think you are, Colonel fucking Mustard?' And we just lost it." You smile broadly at the memory while Eddie snorts out a deep laugh. 
Your friends get their tickets taken and after a brief pat down they're ushered through. Pretty soon you're next in line.
"Tickets please." Looking up, you meet the gaze of a tall burly doorman, all lack of neck and set jaw. His colleague looks equally unamused and threatening, eyeing Eddie up and down. 
"Here's our tickets fellas." He takes them, inspects them briefly, then pockets them. 
You hold your canvas bag out whilst he shines a torch in it.
 "Do you want one of these?" You fish in your bag and hold out a few candy suckers. Eddie's staring at you in disbelief.  
The shorter one looks shocked and shakes his head, but then leans over to grab one anyway. No Neck's face breaks into a huge childlike grin. 
"Now, I haven't had one of these in years! Thank you, miss. Do you have a grape one?" 
You giggle and fish out the flavour for him and he takes it with his large paw, fiddling with the wrapper. 
"Go on through, have a great night." 
"Thank you!" You beam at him and waltz through the door. 
Eddie strides to catch up as you start walking up a wide staircase, already hearing the tell tale thumping of heavy bass. 
Grabbing your arm, he leans in, hot breath in your ear making you shiver. 
"They didn't even search us! You've got balls of steel, Bunny." 
Blushing at the fact you impressed him, you lead him up the staircase and over to the coat check. 
"What can I say, I aim to please." 
"I bet you do." He whispers, and his lips brush the edge of your ear softly. A small gasp escapes your lips at the contact. 
As he breaks away, you know there's a smug grin smeared all over that handsome face, so you decide to not give him the satisfaction of a look, and instead focus on the coat check girl. 
"Just want to check this coat please, Eddie do you want to do yours too?" 
"Sure" He says, shrugging off his leather jacket. He's wearing his signature black jeans, hugging his legs deliciously, and a white fitted t-shirt. Simple, but damn, he looked fine. You swear you could just make out the balls of his nipple piercings, now that you knew they were there. 
Realising you were staring, you look up at his face. To your surprise he looks embarrassed. 
"I, er, didn't know what people wear to raves," he chuckles. 
"No, you look good. Real good." Coughing, you look away and take your own coat off whilst he checks his. 
As you hand your jacket over, you hear him whistle out lowly behind you. 
"Holy hell Bunny. This what you wear outside??" Turning to face him, you can feel his eyes roaming all over your scantily clad form as he strokes the back of his neck compulsively. 
You must admit, you look good tonight. Maybe a little extra effort went in knowing Eddie would see you. Maybe just a little less clothing than usual. So what?
Well aware that you looked your best in pink and blue, you had chosen a tiny blue bra top with pink edging, and a pleated blue mini skirt that barely covered your ass with hot pants underneath since you'll definitely be dancing on a podium somewhere in the club tonight. A simple pink choker and a few kandi bracelets completed the look. 
Eddie looks like he's about 30 seconds away from eating you alive. 
"What, this old thing?" You tease, giving him a twirl and a tiny curtesy with the tiniest of skirts. 
"Damn." Eddie's hand roams to his mouth, rubbing his stubbled face whilst he continues to gobble you up in his head, or at least that's what it looks like to you. You'd never known him to be speechless; he was usually the one with the witty comebacks. It was your turn to smile smugly for once. 
"If you're done perving, shall we go in?" 
"Oh I am so not done, but yeah let's go." He grins back. 
You roll your eyes at him but you're still grinning, excitement bubbling in your belly. Turning to the next set of stairs you lead the way, knowing full well Eddie's getting a choice view of your ass. 
What the hell are you doing? This has certainly swam out of the paddling pool of playful flirting and was quickly taking a deep dive somewhere. You know full well this is a Bad Idea™. The guy is a drug dealer, and you're flashing your goodies at him. You hardly knew the guy. 
A drink. It was definitely time for a drink. 
You enter the main area, a sort of meet up spot between the two dance floors. The music was quieter here, but the throb of bass could still be felt in your gut. Predictably, you spot your friends queuing at the bar. 
"What do you want to drink, Bunny?" 
"Oh, a vodka lemonade would be great, thanks." 
Eddie moves past you, close to your side since the room was heaving with people. You feel the not so subtle drag of his hand as it presses to your lower back, and dips just enough to get a feel of your ass before winking at you as he goes by. 
Well that was a bit fucking forward. Not that you didn't enjoy it, quite the opposite in fact. The fleeting touch had you biting your lip enough to taste blood. If there were still any doubts about what Eddie wanted they dissolved immediately. 
You sauntered over to your group of friends as they exited the throng of people congregating around the bar and walked with them over to a high table. No seats were free as per usual but it was at least a ledge to place drinks, and something for you to lean on. All these salacious thoughts had your knees ready to buckle. 
"Bunny! I got you a bottle of water for your party pack!" Tech practically sang out. You laugh and take it gratefully, depositing it in your little canvas bag. You know you'll need it later. 
"Thanks Tech babe." And you kiss him on the cheek. 
"Hey, calm it, I don't want guys thinking I'm straight!" He says animatedly. 
Mustard responds, "Tech, there ain't no way you come across as straight." 
"Hey, that's not true! You think I'm camp?" 
"As Christmas." Eddie's voice cuts through as he places your drink in front of you and casually throws his arm over your shoulders. Tech's eyes go wide as he not so subtly gives you a look and a nod. Panda giggles. Mustard? Well, he just looks pissed off. You notice Eddie's looking straight at him, and he's the only one who looked at Eddie and not you. You could practically smell the testosterone from here. Oh dear. 
"Bunny, you look so pretty tonight!" Panda squeaks across the table, breaking the tension. 
"Aw thanks babe, so do you, I love your top!" 
"Thank you!" Panda beams. "You look really good too Chris, by the way." Her face flushes, stealing a glance at Mustard. 
"Er, whose Chris? I only see Colonel Mustard." Tech says chuckling. Mustard throws him a murderous look. 
"Hang on, can I ask something?" Eddie asks, addressing the group. "Why do you call Bunny, well, Bunny?" 
You wince, your cheeks flushed with heat despite the lack of clothes. 
The gang look confused, glancing back and forth to each other. Panda quietly says, "I think you have to tell us, Eddie." 
"Huh?" Eddie looks puzzled, taking his arm off you for a second so he can see your face as he takes a sip of his drink. 
Typically, Tech is the one to butt right in and embarrass you. 
"Well, you gave her the name! She told us you called her Bunny and she wouldn't shut up about you and-" 
"OK Tech that's enough" you interjected, already cringing more than you are sure is healthy. 
"Oh really?" Eddie's clearly loving this. He leans on the table to get a close view of your face which you promptly hide in your hands. 
"Don't you have like, a job to do?" You say through your palms. 
Knocking his drink back, Eddie claps his hands together. 
"You're right. Whose first?" Tech sticks his hand in the air, and he and Mustard start to walk him over to the restroom to do a deal. 
"Don't think this conversation is over Bunny!" Eddie shouts over his shoulder at you. 
Panda's smile is wide. "He's cute." 
"Oh he's hot, but I don't really know him that well, you know?" 
"Yeah, but you'll never get to know him with that attitude!" 
You smile at her, she's always such a ray of sunshine. "Come on, I'm not ready to drop just yet, let's have a dance." 
You finish your drinks and make your way to the main room. The second the doors open the heat and the noise slam into your abdomen. You can practically feel the music vibrating through your lungs. The dance floor is smoky; lights are flashing and the room is heaving with dancing bodies. You shoulder barge through and find a spot for the pair of you right under the DJ booth. 
This is the reason you rave. The feeling, the music, the dancing. Being able to just let go and have no responsibilities, not a care in the world except maybe when you were going to take drugs. And when that happens, it's the same feeling but multiplied by a thousand. 
You and Panda dance away, feeling the rhythm and snatching shouted conversation in each other's ears here and there. Pretty soon you're both sweaty and laughing, and ready for a small break. 
"Bunny, I need medication, come on!" She drags you to the restroom where you sneak into a cubicle together. Fishing the little baggy out of your bra, you hand it to Panda first.
"Hearts? Cute." 
"Yeah? Eddie gave it to me. You think he meant something?" 
Panda took a bit out of the bag and put it on the toilet seat cover, smashing it into a line with a card. She passes the baggy back and you take a sizable crystal out and swallow it with the aid of some water. It tastes disgusting, but there's no way you're going to stuff something up your nose. Molly was like that, you'd grown somewhat used to it.
"Bunny, seriously, that man clearly wants you. You don't need a bag of drugs to tell you that." 
She's right of course. You're still apprehensive though. 
"It's just- well, he's a drug dealer." 
Panda snorts the line she made and wipes her nose. "Er, are you one to judge right now?" 
You laugh loudly and pass her the water. 
"You're right. I suppose a bit of fun won't do us any harm." 
"That's the spirit. Let's go have a smoke." 
You both go into the main hang out area and find a vacant sofa surprisingly. Your buzz starts to creep on slowly but surely. Panda's a bit ahead of you; the pros of snorting. 
"I really like Chris, you know." Her eyes are glassy as she tells you. 
"Oh I know. I don't think he does though. You should just take the leap." 
"Well, evening ladies." You look up and see Tech and Mustard grinning, pupils blown. 
"Nice of you to join us. Here, have a sucker, don't chew your face off." You pass the candies out to everyone, holding back a cherry one for yourself. "Where's Eddie?" 
As soon as you say that he appears, the biggest smile on his face. 
Panda bounces up. "Come on boys, I'm buzzing, let's dance." And she grabs your friends to lead them to the dance floor, throwing a wink back at you. 
"See you later Rock Star!" Tech shouts over his shoulder. 
You just about hear Mustard grumbling "why's he got a cool nickname? This some bullshit." 
Eddie flops down next to you, man spreading. You turn to him, elbow on the back of the squishy sofa, faces inches from each other. You can see from here he's clearly dropped, taken a pill or something. His pupils have grown, you can barely see the colour of his eyes. Apart from that he still looks put together. Probably more used to this sort of thing than you are. 
"So, Rock Star?" You smile at him.
"Yeah, we were talking, and some guy started talking about metal, and I said I play guitar, next thing I know I'm Rock Star. Glad it wasn't mayonnaise or something." 
You giggle at him, unwrapping your sucker and putting it in your mouth. Eddie fixates on your mouth immediately. Sensing the opportunity, you lick your tongue around it slowly, then suck hard. Letting it go with a wet pop, you look at his eyes again. 
Eddie's clearly flustered. 
"Are you- you having a good night yeah?" 
"Yeah we had a dance, I've just dropped, just waiting for it to kick in."  
Eddie reaches over to your face, fingers moments away from brushing your jaw, staring at your saccharine smeared lips. 
You hear an awkward cough to the side of you. 
"Hey, Bunny, it's DJ Skitz's set, you said you'd dance on stage?" it's Tech, hovering nearby, looking like an unwilling third wheel.  
Well shit. 
"Eddie, I've got to go. Come and watch, yeah?" 
"Couldn't drag me away sweetheart." You feel the heat pool between your legs, amplified by the drugs beginning to course through your system. 
"Come on then." In a moment of bravery, you grab his hand and lace his fingers between yours. He looks at your conjoined hands for a moment and then back up at your eyes. The look on his face is not what you were expecting. You'd grown used to the sparky wit, the smugness, the charm. Right now, he looks like a lucky little boy, shocked at the affection. You flash him a small smile and drag him into the main room and across the heaving dance floor. 
There's a small podium stage left. A girl you vaguely know is on the other side of the stage on a similar podium, a skinny redhead in yellow hot pants and pigtails. You take your position, dumping Eddie directly in front of you. 
The lights dim and your friend DJ Skitz is bathed in a spotlight. He begins his set, spinning some fast techno and hard-core that you love. Breaking out some glowsticks you lose yourself in the music, dancing, gyrating, sometimes spinning and shaking your ass. You nearly forget Eddie is there. Nearly. 
Looking down, you see him staring at you as if you hung the stars in the sky just for him. Tech's there too, wolf whistling and cheering you on. Panda and Mustard are nowhere to be seen. A part of you hopes they're off sucking face somewhere finally. 
The high is finally sinking those familiar claws into you. She's a sneaky bitch. You begin to let go at last. All the day to day bullshit, all the drama, all the hassle. Gone. You dance, just dance. Oblivious to the crowd and any expectations. Throwing yourself into the music, you dance. The thrill of the high leads you. You're guided through by the mistress of the beat. 
In almost no time at all DJ Skitz's set is over. Before you exit the stage you tell him how good the set was, how much you enjoyed it, and of course, hand him a sucker. He grins and takes it gratefully, complimenting your dance moves. 
As you are looking to get off the stage, Eddie holds out his hand to help you down. You meet him, bodies pressed together in the mess of people. 
"You wanna sit for a bit?" He asks. 
"Sure" you say as you flash a lazy grin at him. 
This time, he's the one to link hands with yours and drag you. There's not much space free given this is the lull between sets. He spots a single soft chair way off in the corner and drags you to it. 
"Mind sitting on my lap?" 
"Not at all." 
He sits, holding his arms out to you. You sink onto his lap, ass on his thighs. He wraps his arms around you and you melt into him, all social insecurities forgotten. Sparking a cigarette, he holds the butt to you, so you take a drag. Continuing like this, you share the smoke until there's nothing left. 
"So, I'm guessing you're done for the night, yeah?" You ask, staring up at him. 
"Oh, it was a very lucrative night. Might have to go out with you more often." He smiles at you. 
"Oh that can be arranged. So all out?" 
"Hmm, not quite. Two pills left. I was waiting for you, if you want one? Free of charge for the prettiest girls." He says, guiding a wayward hair out of your face. 
"Oh, how many have you given away to pretty girls, huh?" You joke, poking him in the abs. 
"None. Just you." 
The smile that creeps over you is entirely unbidden, forcing its way across your face. 
"So, you wanna go to the restroom or-" 
"Oh, I think we can be subtle eh?" He raises an eyebrow at you. Staring at him, trying to work out his next move, he fiddles with his mouth and then flashes his tongue for a fraction of a second. You see a streak of white in your vision as he guides your head towards him.
It's not a kiss, it's a transaction. You say it to yourself in your head without much enthusiasm. Leaning in, you press your mouth to his. His thick tongue pushes into your mouth, massaging your own, passing you the pill. Fingers twine their way into his wild mane as you grip on, afraid of losing a hold on reality. It would have been perfect, if it didn't taste like hairspray. 
You break away, the bitter taste of the pill too much. Gulping down water, you look at him again, taking in his flushed cheeks and heaving chest. 
"Very subtle." You quip, hitting him lightly, hand resting on his chest unwilling to move. 
"Yeah? See, I can do subtle." He says, as one large hand drifts down to cup your ass. 
'Hmm, yes, very subtle. Hardly noticed that at all sir." 
Eddie laughs, tipping his head back, giving you a full view of the veins on his neck. The feeling floods through you, making you want to dive forward to bite it. Before you can register what's happening, you're planting soft kisses to his throat. Eddie's  breath heaves even harder. 
"Holy shit Bunny, you're gonna make me hard." 
Moving reluctantly away, your eyes meet once again. The question burns in your head. 
"Why did you call me Bunny?" 
He laughs and looks awkward for a second. 
"Wait a minute?" He asks. You nod as he fiddles with his mouth again, you assume to take his last pill. He gestures at you for water and you hand it to him. Taking it gratefully, He gulps some down. You're going to have to replenish in a minute before you forget. 
"For courage." He laughs, taking your small hand in his own. 
"The family friendly version? You're sweet," he says, pressing a soft kiss to the tips of your fingers, "and cute," another kiss to the tips of your fingers, but this one lingers slightly, sending a quiver through your nerves, "and full of fucking energy, its unreal!" You laugh as he lands another kiss on your knuckles. 
"And the R rated version?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him. 
"Well," he says, visibly steeling his courage, "I've thought about you," he says, laying another kiss, this time to your wrist, "how good you would look," another kiss, in the crook of your elbow. He brings your face to his, his breath whispering in your ear. "How you would look bouncing on my dick, over and over and over." You gasp as his teeth graze your neck, the touch electrifying you. He bites down softly, sucking a bruise into your skin as you attempt not to moan aloud.
Pulling away, his eyes search your face for your reaction. To be honest, all you're thinking right now is how soft his lips are, how much you want them pressed against yours again. Or on your neck, your collarbone, your breasts… 
"Well, you didn't run a mile. That's good." He laughs slightly awkwardly, fingers whispering against your arm, erupting goosebumps in their wake. 
"Oh, I'm not running." You reply, pulling him in for a kiss. A real kiss. Locking lips, you take your time, tongue swiping into his mouth slowly. He responds in kind, licking into you, his hand dipping into the back of your skirt. You can feel his fingers squeezing into the flesh of your butt as the kiss deepens. 
Every move is electric, making your hairs stand on end. You want to engulf him in the moment, to swallow him whole in it, to bask and revel in it, never ending. Eventually you both break away, if only to breathe. 
"I don't know if its the drugs talking, but that was fucking amazing." You say breathlessly. Laughing, he takes hold of your hand on his chest. 
"I hope not. We've not gotten to my fantasy yet." 
Biting your lip, you feel his fingers drag down the cleft of your ass, drifting dangerously close to your hole. You whimper slightly; at the feeling, at the narcotics flowing through you, at Eddie. Especially Eddie. He was like a whole new drug you'd only just started experiencing. 
"Fuck, you're perfect Bunny." He says, admiration gleaming in his eyes. 
"Hey you guys!" You turn to see Panda, hand in hand with Mustard, a stupid grin plastered across both of their faces. Panda waves their woven together hands up triumphantly at you. 
"About time!" You grin back, doing your own sheepish nod at Eddie, purely for Panda’s benefit. 
"Wanna dance?" 
You reluctantly slide off Eddie's lap and both of you make your way to the dance floor. 
He barely lets you move, hands trailing across your figure, dragging his fingertips over your bare abdomen, grasping your ass or the back of your thighs. You reply  in kind, soft digits trailing over his stomach, raking across his chest, sometimes stopping to rest on a pierced nipple,  feeling the steel of it over his shirt. 
"I don't think I've been this turned on in all my life," you admit in a frantic whisper to him. The pill he had given you had well and truly come into effect and you were basking in its golden glow. 
"Shit Bunny, you can't just say that to me!" He gasps out, tongue darting out to lick at your neck while you dance. 
"I have to touch you," he says breathlessly as he grasps your hand and leads you away from the writhing crowd. 
Leading you down a corridor he pushes open a little known restroom door and ushers you into a tiny cubicle. 
"Fuck, you are driving me crazy, shaking your ass in that little skirt" He says, fingertips grazing the inside of your thigh. The feeling is explosive, hammering through your nervous system like a freight train on steroids. You'd never had anyone touch you when you were high before, and the fact that it was Eddie had you moaning before he'd even touched your pussy. 
"Hmm, be quiet little Bunny." He laughs as he presses his body against you, fingers tracing up and over your clothed heat. You whimper, pushing your body against him urgently. 
"Please touch me Eddie," you struggle out, wiggling your hot pants and panties to the floor until they rest at your ankles. 
"Say that again" He says as he grins wickedly, fingers stroking just to the left of where you wanted him, needed him.
"Please Eddie, please touch me. I-I need you to." You whisper, fingers wrapping the front of his shirt into a tight ball. 
"I think I need that on tape" He huffs out, desire shining in his eyes. His calloused fingertips finally meet your wet heat, finding your clit with hardly any hesitation. Gasping, your eyes fly wide open, staring straight at his. 
"Oh fuck Eddie, oh God, please, oh please make me cum" you babble at him, the feel of his rough, sure hands electrifying every limb. 
"Sweetheart, you are something else," he manages to say, eyes shining. He sinks two fingers into you then as you open your mouth in a perfect o, feeling them glide into you, your velvety walls already convulsing. The heel of his hand presses deliciously onto your swollen clit as his fingers rub your g spot. 
"Holy shit! Eddie, what the- how the fuck are you so good at this?" You whisper shout at him, small hands clinging onto his shoulders. 
"I'm sure it's just the pills sweetheart," he laughs into your ear, taking your earlobe in between his teeth and sucking softly. 
Your climax builds impossibly fast, buzzing through your nerves until every part of your skin is singing for him. 
The rush is almost too much. Your head is spinning; vision pulsing with your heartbeat which feels like it's moved deep inside your cunt. 
"Eddie, oh fuck," you nearly squeal at him, eyes wide and wild. 
"Yeah? You gonna come for me, Little Bunny? Please, please come for me." His speed increases as you feel wetness squelch inside you. Reaching that precipice faster than you think you ever had, you freefall into it, gripping hard onto his shoulders. The buzz of your release sets your skin on fire, every rock of his fingers making you pulse and moan.
You come down, from this high at least. The other one, the drug fuelled one, is still firmly locked in. Eddie's eyes are fixated on yours; he's breathing as heavily as you are. 
"You are unbelievably hot, you know," Eddie says, fingers still buried in your cunt. He finally releases you and pulls you in for a devastating kiss. Tongues sliding against each other, you press your body to him, wanting to be closer. 
"Eddie, I really want you," you breathe out, fingertips pressing so hard into him they may well leave bruises. Sucking a love bite into his neck, he groans.
"Fuck. Yeah, I want you too, but maybe not in a restroom?" 
You pull away and gain eye contact, both of you giggling and high. 
"Suppose you're right," you laugh as you pull your undergarments back into position. 
"You wanna dance some more?" 
"Not right now, I feel fucked." He raises his eyebrow at you. 
"Not like that! Just super super high." You're floating right now, soaring, thoughts scare and about as substantial as dandelion fluff. 
"Oh shit you really are aren't you? Right, come on. I'll look after you." 
He leads you out of the stall and washes his hands before guiding you to a free seat in the main room which was starting to clear out a bit. Flopping unceremoniously into it, you feel your head fall to your shoulder, letting the seat engulf you in softness. 
"Wait right here, OK Bunny?" 
"Yup. Not going anywhere. Got jelly bones" You giggle and smile broadly at him. 
He shakes his head and leaves you for a moment, returning with a bottle of water. Handing it to you, you take it gratefully, feeling the cold water sips trickle down your throat. 
Eddie squishes next to you on the armchair, feeling your forehead with the back of his hand. 
"Well, you're not too warm, that's good. You got any suckers left? You want some gum or something?" 
"Hmm, gum would be splendid!" You say to him in a silly voice. Chuckling at you, he rummages in a pocket, unwrapping a stick of gum and putting it in your mouth. 
"Splendid?" 
"Yup!" You grin, chewing lazily. 
"Anything else I can do sweetheart?" 
"Please touch me." You see him pull a shocked face, looking you up and down. 
"Not like that! Just like, stroke me. My skin is all buzzy." 
Throwing his arm over your shoulder, he softly runs his fingers over your upper arm, his other hand resting on your thigh following the same movements. It feels so nice, each stroke calming and intoxicating. 
"Hmm this is so nice. Stroke the Bunny." You say as he laughs loudly at you. 
"You're fucking hilarious when you're high." 
"I'm hilarious all the time. I am a gift." You nod matter of factly at him. 
"I'll say." He plants a lingering kiss to your temple as you snuggle into him, head coming to rest on his chest. 
"Aw, look at the Bunny!" You look over and see Panda gleaming with sweat, still firmly grasping Mustard by the hand. Tech stands a little to the left, hands on his hips. 
"Is she alright?" Tech asks Eddie, looking more sober than the rest of you. 
"Yeah, she'll be OK, she's just really high." 
"OK, Bunny?" You hum in response, smiling up dopily. 
"Right, the ultimate test. Boop!" Tech says loudly, bopping you on the nose. You giggle, smiling up at him. 
"Well, she didn't cry with laughter. She's good. You wanna go home Bunny? We're about to leave." 
You frown. "Can you teleport me? I'm super cosy right now." 
"I can do the next best thing. Abracadabra, let's get a cab-a!" Tech announces, wiggling his fingers. 
You make your collective way out, grabbing your jackets. Eddie's arm stays glued around your waist making sure you're steady. 
Outside, he looks a little sad. 
"I guess I'll see you soon?" You gaze up at him in confusion. 
"Eddie, you're coming with us. After party." 
"Oh I don't know-" 
"Hey buster," you say, poking him in the chest making him laugh, "you said you'll look after me. Well we are going to Tech and Mustard's place. And you're looking after me. Got it?" 
"Yes ma'am." He smiles at you. 
After a very squished taxi ride which you're sure wasn't legal, but hey, a lot of this night wasn't, you arrive at their house and settle in. Dance music is softly playing, and Eddie's sitting on a chair. You're on the floor between his spread legs whilst he rubs your shoulders. Mustard and Panda are snuggling on the couch together, whilst Tech is laying on a bunch of cushions on the floor. A joint has been passed already between you all.
"You sure you don't wanna sit here?" Eddie asks. 
"And miss this back rub? Not in a million." You reply, reaching up to squeeze his hand. 
"Hey guys?" He asks the group. Various heads swivel to look at him. 
"Wanna play Cluedo?" Laughter erupts from everyone except Mustard. 
"Yeah yeah, laugh it up Rock Star." He says, but he's smiling as he says it. Standing up, he announces, "me and Panda, we're gonna, erm, have a nap." They take each other's hands and giggle as they leave the room. 
"I'll just turn the music up a little, shall I?" Tech shouts at their retreating backs. 
"Tech, you mind if we crash in your spare room for a bit?" You feel the pressure of Eddie's hands on your shoulders increase at your words. 
He huffs. "Oh great, I'm surrounded by couples. I'll just stick some headphones in eh?" He winks at you as you stand up taking Eddie's hand and leading him. 
You walk into the spare room, little more than a storage space. There's a few boxes stacked up and a bed, thankfully already made. As you shut the door, Eddie strokes your arm. 
"You sure about this Bunny?" His eyes are big and soft, making you remember why you crushed so hard on him in the first place. 
"Look, I'm not like, super high any more, but I'm definitely feeling it. I like you. I don't wanna think too much about it, all I know is that I wanna feel your skin on mine," you explain to him. No games, just pure honesty. 
"That does sound really good right now." He says, pulling off his shirt. You take a beat to drag your hands over his exposed chest, fingers tracing over tattoos. Running a finger across a pierced nipple, he quivers. 
"OK, fuck, yeah I'm still feeling it," he laughs slightly, eyes shutting for a moment. 
Taking the opportunity, you pull your top over your head. Eddie's eyes snap back open, staring at your lacy blue bra. There's no padding, you can feel your hardened nipples poking at the soft fabric, just barely visible through the flimsy material. 
You smile and pull your skirt and hot pants down slowly, leaving you in your bra and matching panties. 
"God damn."
Eddie's eyes are raking over your form, drinking it all in. He reaches out a hesitant hand, dragging a finger slowly over your collarbone, making your skin erupt in goosebumps. He moves his fingers slowly lower, tracing the hem of your bra, before stroking down to your nipple. The contact zings through you, making you gasp. 
Eddie smirks, hand reaching up to your bra strap, gently sliding it down your shoulder. Even that has you groaning. 
You reach forward and grab him by the belt, dragging him towards you, and tilt your head up to envelop his lips in a soft kiss. It's so delicate; a crush of lips, a flirt of tongues, edging, teasing. His hands trace your sides. Each miniscule movement whispers across your skin; a susurration of sensation.
Fiddling with his belt you dip your fingers into the waistband of his jeans. 
"Can I take these off?" 
"Fuck yes" Eddie says, large palms running up your sides, thumbs reaching out to graze your breasts. Fiddling with his belt you just about manage to unfasten it, unbutton his jeans and pull them down. He's wearing loose fitting boxers, but even so you can clearly see the sizable tent his hard member is making. You run your fingers over it gingerly, tracing the outline, and gently take it in a loose grip, rubbing up and down. 
"Jesus Christ that feels so good," he says, voice nearly a whisper. 
He reaches behind you and unclips your bra with one hand. It's so fast you look up at him in shock. 
"Oh shit, er- can I take this off?" 
You laugh out loud. "Well, you might as well now!" 
"Sorry, too excited" He laughs back, and peels the garment off your form. His laughter dies in his throat at the sight of your bare chest. 
You're all poised to make a joke but he doesn't give you a chance. Falling to his knees in front of you, he gently strokes at your breasts with his hands, and you feel his hot breath on your nipple. As he licks pointedly over it you can't help but tremble at the feeling, it's just so intense. 
Suddenly he takes it into his mouth and sucks. The moan that forces its way out of your throat is husky and laced with need. He plants open mouthed kisses all over your naked chest and stomach, sometimes nipping with his teeth, sometimes sucking a minute bruise. You quiver, feeling like your legs are about to give way. 
It's almost ridiculous how amazing it feels; a hot weight settles in the pit of your stomach, wanting to lash itself out into the world. Then he's sucking your nipple again, swirling his thick tongue around it. Everything's tingling; your whole body feels like a live wire. He takes the other nipple in his mouth and you whimper. A familiar feeling is building in you but you are almost scared to believe it. 
Surely he can't make me come without even touching my pussy? 
The thought is incredulous, but the feeling mounts as your legs wobble in time with the shaky breaths you're taking. 
"Eddie, Holy shit," you gasp out, fingers winding into his hair and tugging. He moans and doubles down on his ministrations, tweaking your nipple hard and running his knuckles over the hardened nub. 
"I think, fuck, I'm gonna-" the words are lost in a cry of his name as you reach a pinnacle you didn't even realise was possible. 
Taking ragged, heaving breaths you look down at him. He looks almost as shocked as you feel. 
"Did you just…?" 
"Yep." 
"Really?" The look on his face is half surprised and half smug at this point. 
"Hey it's news to me too!" 
He laughs and stands, picking you up in the process, and lays you down on the bed. 
"Bunny, that was really hot." Standing at the edge of the nightstand, he's staring at your nearly nude form as if it were some work of art. You take the opportunity to take your jewellery off and leave it in a pile on the bed. 
"I didn't know I could do that." You smile at him, shrugging. 
"I didn't know anyone could do that!" 
Pretty soon you're both laughing as he gets on the bed next to you. 
"I hope I wasn't too loud." 
Eddie snorts a laugh. "Bunny, be quiet for a sec and listen." 
You snuggle into him and listen. Oh. 
"Is she- squeaking?" You press your lips together, willing yourself not to laugh. Eddies shaking under you with barely contained amusement. Soon after there's a definite grunting noise. 
"Oh God I hope Techs put headphones on or he's gonna be scarred for life!" 
Peals of laughter erupt from the both of you. 
Laying there, stroking each other's skin, you feel more comfortable with Eddie than you've ever felt with any other man. This just feels right. There was no other way to explain it. Giving him a feather light dusting of kisses to his jaw, you realise your hand is roaming further and further south, reaching the waistband of his boxer shorts. You run your fingers across the very edge of it, dipping into the hem oh so slightly. Abs tense under your touch. 
"Quit teasing Bunny," Eddie says; he's almost bucking into your touch, willing your hand to go lower. You ping his underwear with your finger, watching it snap back onto his skin making him jump. 
"Can I take-" the sentence is cut short however, as Eddie pulls his boxers down and flings them across the room. Giggling, you look down. And stop giggling. 
"Jesus Eddie, it's huge!" You thought it was big given you felt it earlier, but seeing is most definitely believing. No wonder he's so confident all the time.
"Flatterer." He quips back, but you can tell how pleased he is with your words. Moving to straddle him, you rub your thinly clad core against it, earning a heavy moan from each of you. Eddie's hands grasp your hips and run inside your panties. 
"Take these off before I rip them off." You gasp at his words and look into his eyes. 
"Please?" He adds almost sheepishly. You smile and lean awkwardly to the side, pulling them off and away. You're straddling him then, entirely naked, soaking pussy dragging along his throbbing cock. Eddie's eyes nearly roll into the back of his head, firm hands holding onto the meat of your thighs, helping you glide back and forth. 
"Im- I'm on the pill. I'm clean. I promise. Can I just- slip it in?" You ask sweetly, dragging your hands up and down his lean sides. 
"Er, I think I've hit my head and I'm making this all up. Say that again for me, Bunny?" 
You giggle, and lean over him, breath whispering into the shell of his ear. 
"I wanna fuck you raw. Can I? Pretty please?" 
He groans so low it's almost a growl, pulling your face toward him for an urgent kiss. His tongue massaging yours and the drag of his pulsing cock rubbing against your clit is setting off fireworks in your head. 
You slide and slide against him, when his cock slips inside. You wish you could have the noise Eddie makes in your mouth on record; it's low and primal, a violent hum. You tease him a little, giving him tiny kitten licks in his mouth as you circle just the tip, and take in a little more, a little more. Suddenly pushing your hips down he practically whimpers, eyes scrunching shut as he's fully seated inside you. 
"Holy shit, Bunny what the- how is this so good, fuck!" 
You have to agree, the feeling of him deep inside you has you fluttering already, cunt throbbing around his manhood. 
You move to lift off him slightly, and slam back down. 
"Bunny, please, go slow," he says, his eyes pleading with you as his fingers grip you tightly. 
"I was trying to fulfil a certain fantasy?" You smile at him, and begin to grind back and forth at a languid pace. 
"And I appreciate that," he says as you giggle. His large hands run across your skin, running over your sides, your stomach, your breasts. Each touch has you moaning, back arched in pleasure. 
"This is too good Bunny. I want it to last." 
Continuing your slow, deep pace, you feel your swollen clit singing, dragging across his pubic hair on each pass. The feeling transcends any sex you'd had before. It wasn't in the same league. Hell, it wasn't even the same game. You lean towards him, hands tucking underneath his muscular shoulders, holding him close to you. 
"Have you had sex when you were high before?" You whisper to him as you grind deliciously back and forth and nibble on his earlobe. 
"Yeah, but not as good as this. This is fucking incredible," he responds, planting kisses over your jaw line. 
Your orgasm is creeping closer and closer as you moan in his ear. 
"I can feel you shaking baby. You gonna come?" 
You can only nod against his neck as he holds you close. 
"Look at me. Eyes on me Bunny." 
You lift your head, foreheads nearly touching. Your whole body is quivering, mouth hanging open. The hotness in your stomach is turning to liquid fire, reaching out to lick over your limbs. 
"That's it baby, let go." 
As if your body was waiting for permission, you feel yourself become truly overwhelmed by your own pleasure, exploding through you with an intensity unmatched by anything you've ever felt before. And it just keeps coming. Rolling over you in delectable waves for what feels like forever. 
Finally, the waves begin to ebb. Your legs are shaking uncontrollably as you try to regain some semblance of breath. 
"Wow." Is all you can manage. He smiles up at you, reaching to rub his thumb up and down your jaw, settling the softest of kisses to your lips. 
"Right, hold on Bunny." 
You're clinging to him as he turns you over until you're underneath him, his narrow hips slotted between your legs, without ever leaving your cunt. 
"Smooth," you say, smiling at him.
"Well, I try." He grins back, grasping one of your hands with his and holds it over your head, fingers entwined as he slowly pumps in and out of you. His other hand is hoisting your leg around him, keeping your knee high. You're in rhythm with each other, moving as one, meeting his hips again and again. 
Each thrust of his hips has you keening into him, sending more waves of intense pleasure coursing through your nerves. 
"Eddie, oh God!" You grasp at his shoulder, fingernails biting into his flesh. 
"Come with me my Bunny, come with me, oh fuck!" 
You come together, the feeling of him throbbing his release into you sending you over that edge once again. 
He nearly collapses onto you, barely holding himself up on an elbow as he brings his lips to yours. You kiss, and kiss, and kiss again. 
"That was incredible," he whispers on your skin, nose nudging yours. 
"Splendid" you grin back at him, making him chuckle. 
"Wait, let me clean you up. Where's the bathroom?" 
"First door on the right. There's a wash rag on the bedside table." 
"Your friends really look after you, don't they?" He smiled, grabbing the cloth and donning his boxers. 
He returns moments later and wipes at you with such care, cleaning you up. 
Whipping his underwear off again, he snuggles up behind you in bed. You were finally starting to feel a little tired, but you know it'll be a couple of hours before you can sleep with the ecstasy in your system.
Not that you minded. This was heaven right here, Eddie's warmth pressing against you, leaving paper trace kisses over your shoulder. 
"Eddie," you say in a moment of bravery, "what are we?" 
"I thought you didn't want to think about it." He says. You can hear the smile in his voice. His arm moves over your side, hand coming to rest on your own. 
Honestly, you're not sure why you'd said it. Well, there was one reason. You're not sure you could deal with this being a one night stand. The sex was too incredible for that. 
"I know I said that, it's just- I don't want this to be it." 
"Hmm," he hums into your shoulder, "what are we?" He leaves a soft kiss, "we're friends." You scoff a laugh and go to turn to him, but he holds you fast. 
"Let me finish. We're friends," he continues, kissing your shoulder again, "friends who fuck," another kiss, a lingering one that makes your toes curl, "daily." You giggle, lacing your fingers with his. 
"Friends who go on dates occasionally," he says, beginning to kiss at your neck. His length is hardening, you can feel it rubbing against the flesh of your ass. "friends who don't sleep with anyone else." He finishes, teeth nipping at your neck. 
The grin that flows across your features comes unbidden and nearly surprises you.
"Eddie?" He only hums in response, starting to suck a bruise into your neck, his dick falling into the cleft of your butt as he pushes against you.  
"I think that sounds a lot like-" you begin but he shushes you softly. 
"You said you don't wanna think. So don't." He unlocks hands with you, fingers tracing down your abdomen and gently sliding between your wet lips. Gasping as he lightly rubs against your clit, you buck against his throbbing length. 
"You are so sexy, you know that?" He huffs, slipping his member between your legs.
"Me? You're hot Eddie." He snorts in disbelief. 
"Why didn't you ask me out?" You ask, as you feel the tip begging for entry. 
"Hey, I tried to charm the pants off you." He said, nipping your earlobe. 
"Well, I suppose it worked, but I thought you were just like that with all the girls" you reply, allowing him to slip inside you. 
Moaning in unison, you rock against him. His breath is a whisper in your ear.
"No. Just you."
You keen at his words and he doubles down on his efforts on your clit forcing you to grip onto the bed sheets for dear life as if you'd float away. 
"Eddie, fuck that's- that's so good" you purr, backing into him. 
"You gonna come for me Bunny? My little Bunny? Go on, come for me," his voice is bordering on begging, rubbing tight circles on your swollen clit. Crying out, you clench around his cock, releasing again. 
Grabbing you by the hip, he thrusts harder into you, again and again, until he's moaning his orgasm out, burying his face in the crook of your neck. 
Bringing his hand up to your face, you drag your lips over his knuckles, settling warm kisses over each one. 
"You know, I don't really know you, not really," you smile. 
"Well, get to know me. What do you want to know?" 
"I don't even know how old you are. 28? 29?" You guess, kissing him again. 
He slips out from you and coaxes you to turn so you can curl into his chest. 
"31 actually." 
"Well, see that's a deal breaker, sorry," you joke, fingers tracing his chest tattoos. 
"Well, we had a good run," he responds in kind, kissing you on the forehead. 
You're not entirely certain where this is going, what the future may hold, but right now you're just happy to be in Eddie's arms. 
Masterlist
@eddiemunsons-missingnipple @corrodedhawkins @lunatictardis @roanniom @pxrxcxa @sillypurplemurple @sinczir @lightvixxen @eddiemunsonfuxks
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abbysdruidess · 9 months
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•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•headcanons about married life with abby [w nsfw]•._.••¯´´•.¸¸.•
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wc: 1.1k
tags: tooth rotting fluff, smut, dom!Abby, dom/sub dynamics mentioned
a/n: lmk what you guys think abt this one:)
this is kinda in the same universe along with the abby proposes to you and wedding hcs, so if you haven't you could check them out-though this one could also be read as a standalone<3
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ꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ
❦ you guys put a lot of work into your little dreamhouse™️ and are extremely proud of it. As an out and about lesbian, Abby took up a woodworking project and built a library that fits right into the wall of your living room. Which you were extremely supporting of, because it gave you the lovely opportunity to ogle your wife in a tank top and work pants, huffing, red faced and wiping sweat from her forehead in your backyard. You set an alarm and every couple of hours you bring her some cool water or lemonade with fruit and brush some locks of hair out of her dewy face<3
❦ she's also one of these people that don't believe in bringing in a handyman to fix any faulty appliance in your household. She has a huge, neon yellow tool box stashed away somewhere(you still aren't sure exactly where) that magically reappears everytime your car won't start or the air-conditioner starts making a noise. And 90% of the time Abby gets the job done, running on pure willpower and spite alone. When she doesn't and you guys have to bring someone else to do it, she just goes "Pfft, I could have totally done that. I just didn't cause I thought I might break it.". "Of course honey", you reassure her with a kiss on the cheek. You don't have her saved in your phone with an image of Bob the Builder for nothing.
❦ you guys are over at her dad's place a lot. When you were looking for a house, you made sure to get a place near his so you could visit whenever. He has a photo of you two from the wedding in his mantlepiece making the goofiest faces imaginable and every single time you visit Abby pesters him to take it down while you shit yourself laughing in the background.
❦ also, when your step-siblings Yara and Lev join, it's absolute chaos. You guys probably end up having an impromptu food fight and flick celery sticks at each other.
❦ if you have any hobbies such as knitting/playing instruments/writing etc she's fullly behind them and will always ask you to show her your progress. She's pretty proud of it as well, and smiles a little excitedly like :D
❦ please sing to her. It doesn't matter if you haven't sang a day in your life and it sounds like tires screeching on asphalt, it calms her when her baby sings to her. Will think you have the voice of a choir of angels no matter what and it is the only thing that can effectively put her to sleep. Bonus points if you play the guitar as well.
❦ Abby is really into reading(probably why she got that library built in the first place) and has one permanently etched in her night stand. She strikes me as one of these people that is a fan of the classics and doesn't read anyone that came after Hemingway. Until for her 26th birthday someone gifts her books from like Stephen King or Alison Bechdel and initially she's hesitant but eventually they grow into her and are stationed into her Hall of Fame shelf.
❦ whenever either of you is sick, you insist to pamper and care for one another. During the winter months Abs has a cold or the flu every month or so, and you have to actually fight her to take the day off and rest.
-Baby, you burning up. If you go to work you'll just get worse.
-I'm *cough* fine. I honestly feels 10 years younger. I don't get what the big deal is.
❦ you two definitely exercise together. Either you always go to the gym together-although you're not there as often as she is. Abby exercises religiously 5 times a week and that exercise will take place with or without you, but she would be damned if she didn't love when you tagged along with her. Either you guys have set up a little home gym with some basic equipment like mats, a treadmill, these bouncy balls and a weight lifting bench. Of course, you spot her, because you will take up any offer to ogle at her putting those big, powerful guns she calls arms to work. She reciprocates by insisting to hold your thighs while you do sit ups. And she inevitably ends up squeezing them like balls of dough.
ɴꜱꜰᴡ ʜᴇᴀᴅᴄᴀɴᴏɴꜱ
❦ when you first met Abby in your early 20s, you though it was natural for a woman her age to have such a heightened libido. After all, she did get around a lot for someone that looked like her. And that instict to fuck you senseless never abandons her-Abby is in a constant state of Wanting to Fuck, and is game whenever you are.
❦ Your sexcapades have included(but are not limited to): empty libraries, locker room showers, back alleys of clubs and just about any sturdy furniture in your house.
❦ she is a total beast when it comes to lovemaking, and can go anywhere from 2 hours to all night long, although most sessions end when you tap out bc you know you'll be sore tomorrow.
❦ even though everyone knows you're Mrs and Mrs from the ring on your finger, Abby wants to reassure that, by marking you as hers. Hickies, bites, anything is game. And she loves the slight sting of the scratch marks you leave her when she hops in the shower the morning after. She calls them claw marks affectionately.
❦ Loooves strapping you to positions she can utilise her muscle strength, like flatiron or missionary with her arms propped up. When you're scissoring, she wants to be the one with her legs on top, grinding her pussy into yours like it's nothing.
❦ I think Abby has this very hard dom image, and while she wants to take over during sex and feel like the one in control, she also needs to be taken care of. She works hard from day to night, and her past partners haven't been exactly accommodating to her needs. So whenever she's particularly exhausted, crawl under the covers to give her some head. Or in the shower. Or in the couch. Or under the dining table. She definitely cums fast when you suck her clit, it gets extremely sensitive and swollen while you're in between her legs.
❦ Is an occasional squirter, and also loves to make you squirt. It happened once as you were riding her face, and she just. slurped it all up. You lowkey passed out on the spot as your knees almost gave up.
❦ cuddling with her afterwards. There's still some resounding bliss in the air, as you both treasure the moment, your limbs all tangled up. You leave small kisses all over her sternum as she tightens her grip around you. If you're too exhausted, you fall asleep immediately, if not you just glance at each other through heavy lids with lovestruck eyes. You sleep like a baby and wake up feeling as refreshed as ever.
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send me an ask if you guys would like me to elaborate any of these<3
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The DUFF 7
Warnings: groping, insecurity, food and body issues, and the usual. Proceed with caution.
Feedback is always welcome. Love you and thanks for the wonderful responses so far.♥♥♥♥
Image credit (I want to give dues where due but don’t want the creator to keep getting tagged in my posts as I have been approached by some before that they don’t want me in their notifs)
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“Threw your clothes in the wash,” Curtis announces as you quickly pull the tee shirt down. 
He wears only a pair of sweats, shamelessly showing off his muscled torso and thick arms. You catch yourself admiring the hair across his chest that trails down his stomach and below the elastic of his pants. He’s so effortlessly hot.
“What?” You face him, over conscious of your lack of coverage past your thighs.
“Yeah, figure I can’t send you home in dirty clothes–”
“How long is that going to take?” You blanch.
His cheek twitches and he quickly forces a smile, well, what could be a smile. You regret your questioning almost immediately. You must sound ungrateful.
“Not too long. You got somewhere you need to be?”
“No,” you sway nervously, “I only… hate to put you out. Thank you. Really.”
“I don’t mind. You can hang out here this afternoon. We can turn on a movie or something,” he offers.
The longer you stay, the more your anxiety builds. It’s not that he’s done anything wrong, it’s just your inner homebody. You like to be in your own space, where it’s all familiar. You find it difficult to relax anywhere else.
“Alright,” you agree as the tension nips up your neck.
He doesn’t move as you approach him. Not until you get close enough to touch. He shifts to the side and lets you through the door. You pass him in the tight breadth of the hallway, brushing against him as you do.
He follows and you tug at the hem of the shirt as you feel your ass peeking out. He purrs as you do. You walk faster as you get to the living room and promptly plop yourself down on the couch. He lets out a rocky chuckle as he patiently grabs the TV remote from the coffee table.
“I can’t help myself. You got a cute ass,” he winks as he nears the couch.
You mutter, not quite a thank you as you pull over a cushion to hide behind. He drops down beside you, legs wide as he flips on the television. He flicks through the options and hums.
“Anything in particular? I don’t watch much so…” he lets his voice trail off and turns the remote, holding it out to you, “here, you choose.”
You hesitantly take it from him. You mostly watch the same stuff over and over. Again, you are a creature of familiarity. The spontaneity of the last twelve hours is jarring to your boring self.
You point the remote at the TV and continue to scroll through the menu. There’s a 90s show you used to turn on after school. That can’t do you wrong, right? He might think it’s a bit lame but maybe he needs to realise that you are exactly that.
He slowly leans over and you flinch as you resist looking over. What is he doing? He slides down to rest his head against the cushion flush against the side of your leg. He wiggles as he gets comfortable, pulling up his legs to bend at the end of the couch. The weight of his head has you rigid and uncertain.
“Oh, I like this,” he wiggles just slightly, “you’re cozy.”
He reaches to tickle your knee and you hold back a squeak. It’s almost endearing, yet you’re not used to the constant proximity. The idea of someone who wants to be so close all the time sure seems romantic but it’s truly overwhelming.
“I could stay like this all day,” he says, “couldn’t you, bunny?”
You try not to fidget as the show starts to play. You place the remote on the armrest and lean your chin in your hand.
“Yeah,” you say softly, “yeah, it’s nice.”
He doesn’t comment on the show. You realise it’s not exactly his demographic. A teenage witch with a talking cat. Not really enthralling entertainment.
You wince as he lifts his arm and blindly searches out your free hand. He pulls it down and guides it to his shoulder. He presses it there and squeezes. You can’t believe how awkward you are. Just the act of cuddling makes you feel like a total idiot. And why? He was inside you half the night.
That thought makes you cringe. You really fucked this stranger. Just like that. And now you’re as good as trapped in his apartment. Hmm, you can’t really say trapped, that’s not fair. He’s been kind and you’re turning his generosity into conspiracy.
You drag your fingertips around his shoulder and he sighs, letting his arm fall down in front him. This isn’t so bad. 
You focus on the screen, trying to calm your rampant heartbeat. You don’t know why suddenly you’re so nervous. The tide ebbs and flows. One minute, you feel okay, like this is all normal, the next you can’t help but fixate on how you are less than normal and you definitely don’t belong here. Or with him.
He chuckles and cracks the ice of your desolate thoughts. He drags his hand down your leg, caressing you lazily.
“I’ve never watched this before,” he remarks, “you like this show?”
“Mhmm,” you hum, “yeah, I don’t mind it.”
“Maybe that’s what it is, bunny,” he runs his finger along your thigh, “you cast your spell on me, didn’t you?”
You stare at him. You can’t see much of his face. Is he joking? You don’t know. It’s a sweet thing to say. He is very sweet. It’s all just a bit much for you.
“I guess,” you force out a laugh, “must be it, huh.”
304 notes · View notes
bopbopstyles · 1 year
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I JUST WANT A LOVER PT.2
RATING: R/smut (graphic sex, nipple play, lil holding of wrists above head)
WORD COUNT: 4.3k (and like 90% smut just for y'all b/c i couldn't stop myself i'm a slut <3 also i did not edit this sorry not sorry)
CATEGORIES: one night stand!harry
PT. 1 | MASTERLIST | TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK
a/n: SURPRISE BITCHES!!!!!! y'all loved pt1 so much that i just couldn't help myself. perhaps not my finest work, but banged this out in like two hours for you all. luv u bunches, hope this is the happy ending you wanted (plus 95% smut including some JUICY lil thangs) XOXO thank you so much for the support of IJWAL — missed y'all <3
“I have a secret.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm,” he mumbled, slotting his lower body between yours. You could feel his cock brush against your center deliciously, and it’s like it hadn’t been inside you less than twelve hours ago from the way your body lit up. “I might tell you, but only if you’re really, really nice to me.” 
He nosed at your forehead with his nose, tilting your head back slightly so he could look directly into your eyes. You loved when guys could match you with banter, could be all fun and playful after a hookup. Otherwise it was just awkward. So, you played along. “Nice, hmm?” You said, lifting your hands from their spot on the sheets and trailing your fingertips up his sides. 
The way Harry’s body tensed immediately caught your eye, and you loved it. The fact that you had the same effect on him that he had on you did wonders for your self esteem, and encouraged the playful fire burning in your stomach. 
“Wonder how I could be nice to you,” you teased, splaying your fingers across his torso and and pressing gently into the skin, watching his abdomen muscles ripple under your pressure. 
“I could think of a few ways,” he breathed out, eyes darting all over your face. 
or
It's the morning after and they're both really into each other (still)
In the morning, you learned, Harry was far too chipper. You were usually a gremlin until you’d had at least one cup of coffee, at which point you reached everyone’s-favorite-neighborhood-grump status, and after at least two hours of being awake you were usually finally able to have a conversation without grimacing repeatedly at how much you didn’t want to speaking. 
So therefore, waking up to find Harry stretched out next to you scrolling TikTok with a smile on his face was not quite your favorite start to the morning. At least, on paper. But for some reason, when he looked over and smiled at you, you couldn’t help but think you might reach your nice stage a little faster this morning. 
“Morning,” Harry said, locking his phone and placing it on his bedside table. “Sleep okay?”
You pushed your hair out of your face and sat up, scooting backward until your back hit his headboard. “Apart from you being the hottest human known to man and roasting the whole night, yeah.”
He grinned at you. “Hottest, eh?”
You rolled your eyes at him. “I meant temperature-wise, you idiot.”
Harry chuckled and reached over to the bedside table, grabbing a glass of water. “Here, got this for ya.” He passed it to you, fingers brushing yours as you took the glass from his grip. Even though the two of you had sex last night, you couldn’t help but notice how warm and soft his hands were, and how they sent a shiver ripping down your body. 
“Thank you,” you told him, glancing around the room. Last night you’d only seen in the partial darkness, the only light while you’d been having sex coming in from the street—which was enough to see Harry in all of his glory, but not enough to make out the intricate details of his room. 
It was covered in art, you quickly noticed. Not framed, valuable, and hung art, but sheets of drafting paper with sketches on them, little napkins with drawings, and smaller watercolors. You could tell that there was a recurring style of drawing and painting across the papers, but not necessarily all the same—they could’ve been done by multiple people. In the corner was a record player, an old and nice one, you thought, and a set of speakers with too many records to fit in the storage unit he had. They were in stacks on the ground next to the turntable, spines out so you could see the name of the record. That, you thought, tracked with what he’d told you—that he was a musician and worked in a record store. 
At the end of the bed was his dresser, with the hem of shirts poking out from drawers and the top scattered with various items. Nail polish, a dish of tons of vintage rings, a couple of necklaces hanging from pins in the wall. A couple bottles of cologne, and a stack of books with a photo frame on top. Above the dresser was a circular mirror, and in it you could see yourself and Harry perfectly. In fact, a little too perfectly—your hair was sticking in all directions after having gotten wet in the shower and there was a rim of black from old mascara under your eyes you’d been too lazy to scrub off last night. Harry, on the other hand, looked perfect with his five o’clock shadow and pink lips begging to be kissed, hair tousled like it was meant to be like that. 
You ignored your reflections, enjoying your perusal of his room, and turned to see his desk on the other wall of the room, where two large windows by New York City standards stood, letting in morning light through heavy curtains. There were papers all over the desk, black ink scribbles scattered across them, and a stack of black leather notebooks in the corner next to a cup of black pens (all the same kind, he must have a type). A computer sat on the desk, covered by paper, as well as a very fun mushroom lamp that make you smile. 
“So?” You turned back to Harry, confused. “What’s your assessment?”
“Of what?”
“My room you were obviously just investigating.”
Oh. He had been watching you explore his space. “That you’re very artistic?”
He smiled, and then replied with a nod. “That’s true.”
“Are those drawings all yours?”
He shook his head. “A lot of them are my sister’s. She’s older, and sends them to me in a care package once a month. Her way of showing me the world around her. Been doing it since she was at university, so what’s up in a mixture of stuff from years. The others are mine.”
It was sweet, you thought, how close he seemed to be with his sister. “Is she an artist?”
“Nah, she’s teaching history. Unlike me, she decided that it was better to keep her artistic passions just for herself. She told me once that she didn’t believe in that whole idea that if you do something you love for your job you never work a day in your life. She told me’ It’s still work at the end of the day,’ so she just does it in her free time. Kind of jealous she can do that.”
You rotated slightly onto your side, able to look at him better “You can’t?”
“It’s funny, for a long time I never thought I’d do anything related to music. But then it was like it kept begging me to try it out. For a while I thought that my friends were playing a joke on me because every pub night I went to there was an open mic night.” You laughed at that, and he smiled at you. “And there was this feeling that the music was just spilling out of me. It would come to me at the funniest times, especially on the subway or when I was walking home, and I’d have to write it down or it’d never get out of my head. So I finally just decided to take it as a sign.”
“That’s really amazing,” You told him, meaning every word. He looked suspicious of your statement though. “To have something that you are that passionate about. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way about something. Always wanted to. Thought there was something wrong with me, even, that I didn’t have a passion like all my other friends.”
Then, Harry did the sweetest thing you’d ever had happen to you during a one night stand. He reached up and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear that had escaped, his fingertips trailing down your neck as he withdrew his hand. It was like he craved your skin as much as you where craving touching his, with his chest exposed, his many tattoos on display. 
Finally, he spoke, and when he did, his voice was rougher than it had been before. “You’re not missing out,” he said. “Sometimes I wish I could shut it off. Would make life a hell of a lot easier.” 
His words were so raw, so honest. 
“Well,” he said, clearing his throat. “Isn’t this intimate for a morning after conversation.”
You laughed, pushing gently against his shoulder. “Hey, I thought it was cute.”
“Just what every man wants to hear first thing in the morning,” he answered, rolling towards you and propping himself up on his wrists so he was hovering over you. “I have a secret.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm,” he mumbled, slotting his lower body between yours. You could feel his cock brush against your center deliciously, and it’s like it hadn’t been inside you less than twelve hours ago from the way your body lit up. “I might tell you, but only if you’re really, really nice to me.” 
He nosed at your forehead with his nose, tilting your head back slightly so he could look directly into your eyes. You loved when guys could match you with banter, could be all fun and playful after a hookup. Otherwise it was just awkward. So, you played along. “Nice, hmm?” You said, lifting your hands from their spot on the sheets and trailing your fingertips up his sides. 
The way Harry’s body tensed immediately caught your eye, and you loved it. The fact that you had the same effect on him that he had on you did wonders for your self esteem, and encouraged the playful fire burning in your stomach. 
“Wonder how I could be nice to you,” you teased, splaying your fingers across his torso and and pressing gently into the skin, watching his abdomen muscles ripple under your pressure. 
“I could think of a few ways,” he breathed out, eyes darting all over your face. 
“Oh yeah?” You pushed at his right shoulder, forcing him back to his pillow and onto his back. With ease, you sat up and slotted your knees on either side of his hips. But you didn’t rest yourself on his body, instead you hovered above him, suddenly thankful for the pilates you’d become obsessed with lately, because your legs didn’t shake immediately. “Wonder if I could guess a couple of them.”
Harry’s eyes were wide, staring at you. His gaze was locked on your tits, which were uncovered and bare for him to see, and you loved the attention, the feeling of warm from his gaze on your body. “I think you might be onto something.”
“Hmm,” you hummed, gently lowering onto his bare cock and brushing delicately up and down on him, the friction making both of you moan. Then, you lifted right back up, hovering on your knees, with Harry staring up at you in disbelief. However, he didn’t make a sound, just watched you, mesmerized. 
You reached below you and held his length in your hand, running your hand up and down, watching the muscles in his jaw clench with every stroke. Then, you lifted his tip and brushed him against your slit, which by this point was most definitely wet. And you knew he could feel it. 
The sound that left his throat as you ran his tip along you slit but not inside it sent your brain into overdrive. You barely resisted the temptation to slip him inside, but you wanted to tease him, to make him beg to fuck you. That desire managed to help you hold onto your sanity as you slipped just the very smallest amount of his tip inside of you and then rose up out of reach. 
The man below you whined when you lifted up, his hands curling around your thighs and tightening. “Fuck,” he breathed out. “Fuck.”
But you weren’t done. You rested his cock flat on his hips and lowered yourself down, rubbing your pussy back and forth on his length, and letting yourself get lost in the feeling. Because you could come to this feeling alone—the feeling of his skin, the warmth of him, the way his tip notched in your clit and made you bite your lip delicately. Your head dropped back and your hands crept up your body, fingers pulling and kneading at your breasts. At this point any semblance of self-consciousness had left you and you were consumed in your own pleasure, in chasing your own orgasm regardless of who was there to witness it. 
In fact, if Harry’s hands hadn’t slipped under yours, you could’ve forgotten he was even there. But then his fingers crept under yours and pushed your hands off your breasts, and his own replaced yours. His fingers were rougher than yours, the tip of his thumb calloused from pressing down on his guitar strings, and you loved how it felt on your skin. The rough graze of skin on yours, and the way his hands were larger than yours and could hold more of your breasts in his hands. And then he started to knead them and your mouth dropped open a tad, just enough for a whimper to escape your throat. 
“Feel good, baby?” He asked, the pet name dropping from his mouth and melting into your veins, filed away for your fantasies later, once you were truly on your own. The way it sounded coming from his lips, the way the syllable left his tongue. 
His tongue. Your head perked up and you found his eyes, which were already staring at you. You wanted his tongue. You bent your head and down and his lips rose to meet yours, crashing together in the press of need and desire. His lips parted with ease when you brushed against them with the tip of your tongue, and then you had access to what you wanted. When his tongue touched yours, you curled your fingers in his hair and pulled gently, the feeling of being consumed by him taking over. Your hips were still moving back and forth, and you just needed more and more of him. It wasn’t enough. 
“More,” you mumbled, pressing your forehead to his, hands on his shoulders for leverage. 
“What do you want, angel?” A new pet name that you filed away.
What did you want? You thought about it for a split second and let the first thought that flashed into your mind take hold. When you needed to finish, the thing that always put you over the edge was a tad bit of pain. Your favorite, by far, when you were like this—touch starved and needy—was on your nipples, though. 
So you grabbed his hands, and maneuvered them so his thumbs and forefingers caught around your nipple, and pressed the together. The pain shot through you in a delicious way—not too intense, but enough to make your pussy tighten at the sensation. 
Harry let out a sound that you couldn’t place. Somewhere between a groan and a whine and the sound of your name. “That, hmm, baby? Like a bit of pain?”
You nodded so fast, not wanting him to stop. 
“Fuck, okay. Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?” You nodded once more, and then you lost yourself in the feeling. 
He varied the pressure, giving your nipples a break but then pressing harshly so it always felt like a jolt of pain—which is exactly what you liked. The surprise. It made your hips speed up in time, head lolling from side to side as breathy moans escaped your mouth, sounding something like his name. 
You hadn’t had this feeling in a minute, and you missed it. The all-consuming feeling of chasing an orgasm with someone else, of the combination of friction and pain, your absolute favorite that never failed you. 
“You are so hot,” he mumbled, quietly and almost to himself. But you heard it. 
And it happened to toss you right over the edge. The pressure on your nipples was too much and you could feel how hard he was, and the wetness of you made you slide right along his ridges and fuck it was too much. You crashed into an orgasm, a fire of glory that left your body quivering, fingers tightening on Harry’s shoulders. “Fuck,” you breathed out shakily, eyes opening after the shocks quieted in your system.
They found Harry immediately, his gaze on yours. “Good?”
“Mhmm,” you answered, twirling your fingers at the nape of his neck where his hair was. “You’re good at that.”
He chuckled. “I think you’re better—nearly came watching that.”
“Yeah?” You reached down and brushed your fingertip over his tip. 
His hips jolted at the touch, hands tightening from their new location on your hips. “Good lord, woman, gonna kill me.”
You cocked your head to the side. “I hope not. Was hoping to have another round.” You don’t think he realized he did it, but his tongue slipped out and wiped across his lips. 
“I’d be—fucking hell.”
You’d slipped him inside of you mid-sentence, so fast he didn’t realize it. And the feeling of him inside of you was absolute fucking heaven. You were still tight from your orgasm and dripping, and he was rock hard—the triple threat meant that your body shook ever so slightly at the feeling, your sensitivity making how good he felt send you into overdrive. Gently, you rose up, slipping your ankles onto the tops of his thighs to gain leverage, and then back down. 
The way he bore so deep inside of you made you groan, low and deep. And with that, you were moving without even realizing it—and then Harry was above you. 
He’d flipped you on your back. 
And with one look at his eyes, you knew there was no way he was going to let you move an inch. His gaze was ravenous, like a caged animal just freed. His eyes were devouring you, taking every morsel of you. 
Then, he started to move. 
His hips snapped forward and you cried out from how intense it was, the cry quickly turning into a flurry of moans and his name, falling from your mouth without pause as he fucked you hard. It was intense and delicious. His cock brushed so deep inside of you that it made your eyes roll back (not that you’d admit that to him), the pace he set forcing your hands to scramble across his skin to find something to hold onto. You ended up deciding on the duvet cover you’d slept under, hands above your head and fingers curled in the material, mouth dropped open in a silent scream that you couldn’t quite find the air for in your lungs because he was fucking it all out of you. 
“You feel so good,” he mumbled, yet another phrase in the mess of words leaving his mouth in that low, gravely, delectable voice of his. That was quickly followed by, “Your pussy feels like heaven” and “Never leaving, I swear to God”.
Somewhere in that train of words, you realized that he was bare inside of you. 
You had been the one to put him inside of you, but you had obviously been to fucked out of your mind to even realize it, because now he was completely bare inside of your pussy. 
“Harry,” you said. “You forgot a condom.”
The man, to his credit, immediately stilled inside of you. “Fuck,” he mumbled. “Didn’t—how the fuck didn’t I realize that? Would like to at least be conscious when I get to feel your pussy bare for the first time.” He looked at your face. “Now I understand why you feel so good. Fuck—um, can you grab one? In the drawer on your right side.”
You looked at him, looking at you, and felt the clench of your walls around his bare cock, and made an incredibly impulsive decision. “You clean?”
“Yes,” he answered immediately. “You?”
“Yes. And have an IUD. Keep going, please—just don’t come inside.”
“Fuck,” he said, and then he resumed his relentless pace. “Promise, angel—promise I won’t. Where do you want me to come, baby?”
“My tits,” you replied without a pause, and that made the gorgeous man above you groan harshly, one of his hands traveling up your body to tweak your nipple. You let out a squeak and then a moan as he continued, obviously using his newfound novel of your kinks to his advantage. 
“I love your breasts, goddamn,” he said, each word enunciated by a separate thrust. 
You could feel droplets of sweat dropping onto your skin, the sign of his exertion, and you loved the feeling. Loved watching him come undone above you. Craving him deeper, you lifted your legs and curved your calves around his hips, tugging him higher up your body and deeper inside you. Both of you groaned deeply, and then he did something you didn’t expect, but were immediately intoxicated by. 
He reached up to where your hands were curled in the duvet, and pushed your wrists together, and then wrapped his hand around them, holding your hands above your head. Most of his weight was in his other hand which was on the bed, so it didn’t put too much pressure on your wrists, but just enough to where you knew he was using the leverage to keep you in place. And it made your eyes flutter shut and hips arch up into him. 
The combination of all of this made his pace pick up, a stream of words falling from his mouth as he fucked you hard and fast and deep, just how you wanted it. You loved how talkative he was while he fucked you, something most men weren’t. 
Your second orgasm was rising quickly, rippling through your body and you couldn’t do a thing to stop it. You opened your eyes and looked up at him, those green eyes finding yours immediately. “Gonna come,” you informed him, pussy tightening as if on command. 
His grip on your wrists tightened and he fucked you harder, a brutal pace that had you calling out his name, not even thinking about the fact that he definitely had roommates, because all you wanted was your orgasm, and you wanted everyone to know he gave it to you. 
Just as you came, your orgasm ripping through you like an unstoppable wave, Harry pulled himself out of you and you dropped your legs immediately, knowing he was going to come. He moved up the length of you and you scooted down, out of breath and panting from your orgasm but wanting his come on your breasts anyway. He tugged twice on his length and then come was painting stripes on your skin, warm on your clammy skin. 
“Holy fuck,” he breathed, hovering above you, panting. 
You smiled up at him, and when his hands released your wrists you reached down, pushing a forefinger through the streaks of come on your chest. Harry watched in awe as you brought your finger to your mouth, savoring his taste—salty and delicious. 
“You,” he said, eyes on your mouth. “You are amazing.”
“You’re not too bad yourself,” you replied, gazing up at him, wondering how you would be able to give him up. You were addicted. 
Two hours later, after an Uber Eats delivery for some coffee and bagels which were consumed in bed before Harry went down on you again, pulling yet another orgasm from you, and a very heated makeout session, you were tugging on your coat in his room. Harry was pulling on a pair of pajama pants, and when he placed a pair of glasses on his nose you smiled. 
“Didn’t know you wore glasses,” you told him.
“Lots of things you don’t know about me.” He moved toward you and wrapped his hands around your hips, tugging your body into his. Your mouth met his with ease, a kiss more gentle than the previous ones dancing across your lips that made you smile. 
Stepping back, you said, “Thanks for breakfast.”
He nodded, and with another glance around his room, you followed him out of the bedroom and into the living room of his apartment. It was quiet—most likely his friends were either not awake still or hiding in their bedrooms. If you were his roommate, you’d definitely be hiding right now. 
The apartment was cramped, like every other New York apartment, but homey. Knick knacks and proof of life were scattered across all surfaces, random scraps of paper, a guitar pick here and there, some books, a plant or two. For a couple of guys, it wasn’t too bad. 
“So,” he said when you two reached the door. “I—uh—I had a lot of fun with you.”
You smiled at him, taking sincere joy in the awkwardness in his stance. He was so confident and forward all night and this morning, so seeing him like this made you grin. “I had fun too, Harry.”
He returned your smile, and reached down to curl his fingers in the top of your skirt. “Would you want to learn all those things about me?” You cocked your head at his statement, and then he quickly clarified. “That you don’t know. Like, over coffee.”
This man was asking you out on a date. A rarity for a one night stand. 
Even though you’d only gotten out of a relationship relatively recently, this man intrigued you. He was funny, kind, creative, and an absolute dream in bed. And he was fucking gorgeous. The banter helped too. You looked at him, studying the gleam in his eyes, and then nodded. 
“I’d love to.”
That made his smile grow even wider, and then he leaned down, attaching his lips to you in a kiss somewhere between sweet and full of desire, like he was remembering what your night held and was curious for the future. When he pulled away, he reached into his pocket for his phone. “Number, please.”
You typed in the digits as requested, and took it upon yourself to slide the phone back into his pocket, taking the opportunity to squeeze gently at his ass. It made him laugh, that laugh that lit up your body. “See you soon,” you told him, stealing one more kiss before opening the door and walking into his hallway. 
He stood in the doorway, shirtless in just a pair of pajama pants, hair beautifully ruffled, and watched you walk down the hall. The whole way you could feel his eyes on you, and it made your skin sing. 
Once you stepped onto the street, your phone buzzed in your pocket. Pulling it out, you glanced down to find an unknown number on your screen. 
“Free at 2?”
It was noon.
You laughed into the streets of New York before replying with a Yes. The future, you thought to yourself before setting off for your own apartment, was full of possibility. 
tell me what you think!!!!!! XOXO LOVE Y'ALL
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celeste444spacey · 28 days
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MANIFEST YOUR DESIRED BODY
Prequel: Working on self image
(TW: MIGHT MENTION ED )
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So this post is about manifesting your desired body, desired look and the likes of it. And it's one of the most popular manifestations out there.
But before i get to the part of actually manifesting it, there IS a little bit background work to be done. And i will say this cause for a lot of people, and i mean A LOT (even me), we have resistances with manifesting a desired change in how we look and how we are perceived by others. And 90% of it usually stems from how we perceive ourselves.
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If you have worked on yourself and have made progress far enough to just get into the manifesting, i'm really happy for you :) and this post may not be for you. I will be making a specific post on the manifesting part. This post is kind of targeted towards people who haven't done that or worked on their self IMAGE concepts and continue to experience resistances while manifesting their desired looks.
And please do bear with me, cause this is one LONG post
Let's get into it. This post is not necessarily targeted towards manifesting, it's more about working on yourself. If you are just interested in the manifesting part however, this post will not be for you. (as said before)
I really think the mix of manifesting + working on yourself is such a healing thing to do, and it is a killer combo for living the life of your dreams. I like to think of these two as self care.
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Let's start with a few questions....
Do you do skincare? Do you like to pamper yourself by grooming yourself?
Do you avoid procrastination?
TW: Do you try to eat without guilt? Eat healthy? And even if you are eating something that may not necessarily be healthy, are you enjoying eating it?
Do you try to think good things to yourself? Avoid negative thoughts?
Do you brush your hair everyday?
Do you moisturize? Do you take a shower everyday?
Do you AVOID self loathing?
I know these are very basic questions, i'm not saying you NEED to have a skincare routine or ALWAYS have positive thoughts or ALWAYS moisturize.
I am trying to point out the core values of these actions. Go on, i'll give you a second to come up with the answer.
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Yes, the core value is self care. You take care of yourself and you allow yourself to be loved and pampered.
Thing is, you don't even respect yourself. Honestly yeah, you totally don't
I know damn well you don't. You procrastinate, you stress yourself over the tiniest things, don't even like to keep yourself presentable or brush your hair. You don't like to take care of your skin or have some sort of routine, which allows you to have time to take care of yourself. You don't dress nice, always look down on yourself, compare yourself to other people.
No seriously take these SAME EXACT things you do to yourself and imagine a mother is doing it to her child.
EXACTLY. You see the issue now?
You don't want someone else to treat you like that, look down on you, stress you out, say bad shit about you
WHY DO YOU DO THAT THEN????
WHY ARE YOU BEING YOUR OWN TOXIC PARTNER
"oh but they would never like me i'm not pretty"
Let's change it to second person
"oh i don't like you, you're not pretty"
Stings, right?
Girl, like you don't even respect yourself, you don't even consider yourself worthy enough for an investment
It's not funny being self depreciating all the damn time.
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When you procrastinate: you don't respect yourself enough to do things on time, and you disrespect yourself so much so that you're okay with stressing yourself last minute
When you don't brush your hair/ take care of your skin: You don't find yourself respectful enough to be made presentable
When you don't think nice things about yourself and look down yourself: YOU DON'T RESPECT YOU PERIODT.
Yes it's the small things and the small things count
It's always the little things, and these are the little things that are your biggest resistance.
Start respecting yourself.
Do things you like, allow yourself to grow.
Take care of yourself, start a skincare routine if you want, the investment IS worthy enough if it's YOU. Study, allow yourself to be knowledgable. Money is nothing if it comes/ gets saved at the expense of YOU.
And at the same time before you get into manifesting, acknowledge the parts of you you want to change, acknowledge the weight you want to lose, the nose you wanna change whatever it may be, contrary to popular advice, acknowledge that don't ignore it. It's you at the end of the day. It's a part of you.
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and that's the post. The manifesting ones will be coming soon.
xoxo loves 🤍
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lucerocosplay · 4 months
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Shohki Mask Cover
construction notes & photos under the cut
This has been a long time coming! I'm glad she's a costume I can work a mask into without it breaking the design of the character. I feel like people would be less inclined to ask that you remove it for photos this way ^^;
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I went with a very thin cotton gauze fabric (#9 "coffee" if you're wondering), think a slightly thicker cheese cloth. It's very breathable as a single layer and seemed the best choice for an N95 cover. The shape was really only achievable with this fabric because of the shape of my mask underneath, and some strategically placed 1/2" wide horsehair braid tubing from the dollar tree. I usually stock up around halloween but they stock around christmas too!
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Process is very straight forward, just traced my mask on the fold and made some rough adjustments for a card stock mock up. I like 90-110 lbs for this sort of thing but construction paper can work in a pinch too. Cut that out and fit to my face, tweaked the placement on the nose bridge and added a 1/4" allowance for bias tape/facing, and appropriate allowance for flat felled seams.
The ear tab was extended to cover the mask underneath, and included allowance for support fabric (denim scrap in my case) to support two eyelets intended to thread the elastic of my mask through. Then it was just patterning out the rest of the mask elements and making note of seam allowance and how to cut each piece. I trimmed the tape holding together the card stock mask apart and finally got to cutting out the fabric once that was done.
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There isn't anything fancy going on, the hardest part was just the inset mesh panel over the weirdly shaped keyhole cut outs on the mouth piece. It's just black nylon mesh typically used for interfacing bras sewn on after making the keyholes.
This fabric is like if toilet paper were a textile, which is great for breatheability and weight but absolutely hell for machine work like this. It's not for a competition so for me, hiding messy stitching with weathering later was ok.
The portion of the mask running from the underside of each ear tab was finished with homemade bias tape. The same method was used for finishing the top portion that runs over the bridge of my nose. The ends were simply folded and sewn down at the ear tabs for a clean finish.
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The side "filters" have an extra 1/2" long extension so I can tack in the ends of some horse hair tubing, then double fold the fabric back into itself before hand tacking with tiny stitches from the outside. That helps the light fabric balloon out into that shape, along with another layer of that same mesh interfacing.
They are really fun actually, very floppy with great movement. Though they stick out a tad too much so I did add one small french tack to the center of each to help them point downwards but retain that movement. The "filter" took the most hand finishing out of the whole thing, but that was to be expected.
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Once the little side "filters" were sewn in, there was just light weathering to do. I wanted to add some shadows and potential "mold spores" to certain areas to really make the texture pop and hide some messy stitching. Light passes with a dry brush and some acrylic helped a lot, so did referencing photos of mold growth on clothes.
It was a pass of burnt sienna along all seams and large patches where high humidity would accumulate. Then another lighter pass of burnt umber to deepen up areas, and some very sparse areas of white. Finally I wanted to give it the "blue cheese special" and mixed a little viridian green and that same white and hit the white areas first then dry brushed the spaces between mold patches. I'm trying to replicate active mold colonies so reference photos came in handy here. I also used some nail polish to match the grommets to fabric.
Maybe when I am not crunched for time I will get around to digitizing the pattern, but for now I hope the photos help anyone else trying to plan out a mask. Obviously the shape will change a lot depending on the sort of fabric and mask you have on under it, not to mention face shape. I would imagine bifolds would give you more her classic feed bag profile than an origami style mask, however.
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thecouchsofa · 12 days
Note
hi!! #14 & #90 for the trope mash-up if you want to? 👀♥︎
Fanfiction trope mashup - Bodyguard AU x Unexpected Virgin
I took this in a slightly different direction to what I was intending, but I quite like it!
Rating: M
“I can’t fucking believe you.” Malfoy slammed the door as he stomped in behind Harry, the rusty hinges squealing. “Do you have any idea–”
“Come off it, Malfoy, you pillock.” Harry rolled his eyes, delighting as the corner of Malfoy’s lips twitched. He sagged against the cool stone wall, trying to catch his breath for the first time in hours.
“I told you not to draw attention to yourself.” Malfoy tugged at his pale hair, twisting the strands around his fingers. He looked far older than his eighteen years, the seemingly endless months of war hanging heavy on his frame. He had lines now, between his arched brows and across his high forehead. They stood out when he hunched over a book as he read by candlelight, too nervous to cast a proper Lumos.
“I didn’t try to–”
Malfoy’s laugh was hollow. He fixed Harry with a look that displayed the fatigue and sadness lodged deep in his soul after so many losses. “You pulled your wand on Greyback. That–”
“I had to.” Harry’s words tripped over themselves. He clutched at the wall, breaths coming faster and faster, the echoes of the offensive spells fired at him and Malfoy still hot on the skin of his heels. “I couldn’t not, not after everything.”
“Then let me do it.” Malfoy’s voice was desperate, pleading. “I’m supposed to protect you. You can’t let me fail at this, Potter.”
“You don’t care about me,” Harry said, though he didn’t believe it. He saw how Malfoy looked at him now, had watched the fear and determination on his face when he threw himself between Harry and the oncoming spells.
“Sirius does.” Malfoy yanked at his jumper, tugging it over his head. There was no point in keeping it now, not in the state it was in; they’d have to burn it before nightfall. Before they moved on from there, to somewhere safer. Wherever that was. “And I can’t let him down, Potter. Not after everything he’s done for me.”
What about me? Harry wanted to ask. He ached to, needed to hear the answer out loud, that something that he felt from Malfoy every day, in each action he performed. What about what I’ve done? What about what you’ve done for me?
Malfoy’s tongue swept over his bottom lip. He looked at Harry then – really looked at him. “I’ve killed for you.”
“Yes,” Harry said. And I’d do the same for you.
Malfoy’s pale throat moved as he swallowed. “I’d do it again.”
“I know.”
“I would.” Malfoy’s gaze was heavy, his shoulders sagging. “But please don’t make me.”
And that was something that Harry couldn’t promise, no matter how much he wanted to. Malfoy knew that; Harry could see it in his face.
The rest of their clothes hit the floor, the threads of fabric standing on end, friction from the offensive spells caught in each strand.
Malfoy stared at the pile for a moment, jaw clenched tight. “We’ll have to burn them.”
“Not in the fireplace.”
“No. The bath.”
Harry gathered up their things, shuddering at the remnants of hostile magic that brushed against his skin. Every atom seemed to scream They’re here. He’s here. Come and get them.
The light of the fire danced across Malfoy’s face as they stood next to the tub, watching as their clothes burned. The scent of it was cloying, magic mixed with ash and charred polyester. Malfoy shuddered, wrapping his arms around his bare torso. Harry glanced at him only once, eyes dropping lower, cheeks heating.
Malfoy cleared his throat, the sound harsh against the backdrop of crackling flames. If Harry closed his eyes and listened, he could almost believe he was camping somewhere in the countryside, innocent and safe.
“We need to wash the magic off.” Malfoy’s tone was rough, like shoes on gravel. “I…”
“Together,” Harry said, before he could stop himself. He couldn’t go back downstairs and wait, ears straining for any sign of someone having followed them to that crumbling lighthouse on the edge of the world.
Malfoy nodded curtly, turning away when Harry looked at him.
They couldn’t turn the water on, just as they couldn’t activate any of the lights. Instead, they took turns holding Malfoy’s wand up, keeping a finger on it to activate the Aguamenti. Malfoy shivered, stepping closer to Harry as water sluiced over the planes of his torso. It shimmered, magic running down their skin and collecting at their feet. Droplets of water clung to Malfoy’s pale lashes as he turned to face Harry, blinking slowly. He didn’t flinch when Harry reached for him, not as he had the last time, the only other time Harry had tried.
“Draco,” Harry whispered, and Malfoy finally touched him back. He slid a hand round the back of Harry’s neck and tugged him in close, kissing him firmly. Their knees bumped in the cramped space, Malfoy’s fingers tangling in Harry’s hair, his breath a whisper.
Malfoy gasped, tipping his head back, when Harry wrapped a hand around the length of him. His legs shook, fingers clutching for any part of Harry he could reach. “I can’t … Potter, I haven’t … not before. Not ever.”
Harry kissed the confession from his lips, swallowing each of Malfoy’s moans, keeping him quiet so they wouldn’t be found. His bicep bulged, muscles straining with the effort of keeping Malfoy’s wand raised above their heads. He didn’t protest, didn’t ask to swap. He touched Malfoy slowly as Malfoy looked his fill, ran his fingers over another body for the first time.
“Please,” Malfoy whispered, legs shaking. “Fuck, I need…”
“Hold on to me,” Harry directed, tightening his grip and speeding up his strokes.
Malfoy clutched onto him and gasped, mouthing Harry’s name again and again against his damp skin. He said it out loud as he crested, Harry’s given name passing his lips for the first time as the smell of their burning clothes filled the air.
“Sirius is going to kill me,” Malfoy muttered against Harry’s shoulder, later, after they’d Apparated to a damp forest in Cumbria.
Harry wrapped an arm around Malfoy’s shoulders, holding him close. “Not if I do it first.”
His words rang loud in the quiet, a joke that didn’t so much as fall flat, but seemed to predict something, a future that neither of them wanted.
“Maybe,” Malfoy said. He pressed his lips to Harry’s throat, parting them and swiping his tongue across Harry’s skin. “But not if I do it first.”
Send me two tropes and I'll mash them together
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maroon-cardigan · 4 months
Text
labyrinth — part VII.
a stancy x bi!fem!reader polyamory series | a cozy 90s autumn-winter au. ‎♡
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labyrinth’s playlist ‎♡
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index | part VI
summary: thanksgiving at the harrington’s is different from what you expected. nancy doesn’t feel too welcomed back at home.
word count: 6k.
warnings: family abuse (steve’s & nancy’s), internalised biphobia, explicit homophobia, this series and my blog are +18, minors do not interact.
author’s note: omg i can’t believe we’re almost half way through this little series ‎♡ thank you to everyone who is enjoying reading it, it really means so much to me. this is probably the longest chapter in the series and where the tension between these three dorks really starts growing. the next chapter will be posted in two weeks and it’s my absolute favourite and the first one i wrote when this idea came to my mind. so for now enjoy this and check the index for the dates of when i’ll be posting next, ily x
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to the moon and to saturn
And I think you should come live
with me and we could be pirates,
then you won’t have to cry or hide in the closet.
November, 1991.
You don’t sleep a lot on Wednesday night. Your apartment is empty as Robin is staying over at her family’s home. Nancy’s green sweater hangs on the knob of your closet, the rest of the outfit is on your desk chair. Yet it feels as if you’re forgetting something, or maybe it’s just the feeling on your chest after you list everything that could go wrong tomorrow.
On Thursday you wake up around 7:00 am after rolling on your bedsheets for half an hour. You drink your coffee while watching the news and open your curtains to enjoy the view of the foggy morning.
A few of hours later you call your parents from the couch to see how they’re doing. Your hair is already done, but you take a break to wrap your body in a cozy bathrobe with another cup of coffee on your hand.
It doesn’t surprise you that your mom is already drunk, and your dad is enjoying his birdwatching in the island. She jokes with a few funny comments that make you roll your eyes after you tell her you’ll be spending the day at Steve’s.
‘She’s worse than Eddie.’ You whisper as you sit down on your vanity.
You spend a fair amount of time doing your make up, trying to get a subtle look. Your fingers shake every time you pick a brush and you let out a sigh to calm your nerves down.
The last step is to put Nancy’s sweater on. You flatten the skirt as her vanilla scent feels sweet on your lungs. She was right, the palette color is warm but discreet, the texture of the garments makes the outfit look expensive but not flashy. You finish your look by adding a little green ribbon on your hair, something that makes you look young but not childish.
You bite your lip as you look at yourself in the mirror. You look good and like yourself, but will that be enough?
Before you can hesitate, you hear the doorbell ringing. You grab your jacket and bag before opening the door. Steve’s on the other side with his hands in his pockets and a smile on his face.
‘Hey, pretty girl.’ He’s wearing his glasses again and there are dark circles in his eyes, but he looks happy, nevertheless. The sight of him in his knitted sweater fills you with tenderness, fantasies about what you two could be doing together in your empty apartment while the rain hits the window make you dizzy.
But you just offer him a sweet smile instead. He thinks you look perfect, like he’s almost underdressed next to you. You walk out and close the door behind you.
While you wait for the elevator, Nancy’s door opens. You and Steve look behind your shoulders at the same time.
‘Hey, Nance.’ He says.
You look at her and can’t help but smile shyly. She’s wearing an oversized white sweater dress with tights; it looks pretty on her, accentuating her delicate hands and legs underneath.
‘Hey, guys!’
You and Steve exchange a look. As she walks towards you two, her eyes are filled with a joy you’ve never seen since you met her, and does it make her look radiant. Steve thinks so too, the girl in front of him reminds him so much of the Nancy he used to know.
‘It’s nice to see you so happy.’ He says fondly with his sweet smile and soft brown eyes.
She laughs, and you realise this is the first time you’ve heard that sound. ‘I’m so hungry, I can’t wait to eat.’
Inside the elevator she eyes your outfit as you stand in front of her and next to Steve. You look exactly like she pictured you when she picked it, but the ribbon on your hair is the detail that she loves the most. Nancy suppresses a smile when Steve plays with the end of the green ribbon, while you are completely unaware of the way he holds it between his middle and index finger.
‘My taxi is waiting outside.’ Says Nancy as she steps out on the lobby. ‘Have a nice Thanksgiving, you two.’
Her heart sinks as the elevator’s doors close, you two waving at her from the other side.
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‘Tired?’ You ask Steve as he turns on the engine. He runs his fingers through his hair, the gesture makes you frown in confusion.
‘I, uh…’ He’s about to place his hand on the gearshift but he lets out a bitter laugh instead. Your eyes go soft with worry as he looks back at you. ‘I’m a bit nervous.’
‘What? Why?’
You smile at him and it’s so right. You’re so right in every sense of the word. These two years he has succeeded at showing you the parts of him he’s proud of. His hard work, his hobbies, his goofy personality. He’s not the type to lose his temper easily, but his parents know exactly what buttons to push. What subjects to press on.
He takes your hand and entwines it with his, always loving how small it feels between his fingers. His heart starts beating fast as he doesn’t dare to look at you.
‘I want you to have great day.’ He says, ‘I’m kind of scared my parents might ruin that.’
‘Hey,’ You search for his eyes. Honey brown liquid melting just for you as they meet yours. ‘If you feel uncomfortable, we just walk out and go to the diner.’
He lets out an unsure laugh. The tension in his eyes breaks your heart.
‘I mean it.’ You say sweetly, ‘Don’t worry about me.’
I just want to be with you, you think.
Steve laughs at what you say, this time is honest. He will always worry about you. He lifts your hand to kiss it and keeps it next to his cheek. His eyes close for a second as your hand melts in, fitting so well against his cheek. Your thumb strokes his clean shaved face and God, does he wish you would’ve been in his bed last night, your sunshine presence warm enough to dissipate his anxiety in seconds.
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Nancy walks into her parents’ house to find her mother running around.
‘Oh, thank god.’ Says Karen, still wearing hair rollers and an apron. ‘Nancy, can you help Holly get dressed? Look at the time and I’m still working on the Turkey!’
She leaves her coat on the hat rack and looks behind her back to find her dad watching TV in the living room.
‘So fucking typical.’ She whispers as she walks upstairs to Holly’s room.
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You figured Steve’s house was huge, but the look of it intimidates you to the point you feel the nerves in the pit of your stomach.
He opens the car’s door for you and his hand finds the small of your back as you walk to the entrance.
‘I could just walk in, but my mom has this thing about manners.’ His lips whispers against your hair before leaving a soft kiss on your hairline. Steve rings the doorbell to his right and you try not to be too obvious about fixing your posture.
A short, brown-haired woman opens the door, and you can see the genuine happiness in her eyes when she looks at Steve. She wraps her arms around his neck, and he stumbles at the surprising display of affection. Steve’s face goes from surprised to a smile and you wonder when was the last time he was hugged by his parents.
‘Mom,’ he clears his throat ‘it hasn’t been that long.’
‘We haven’t had a proper Thanksgiving in two years, Steve!’ She says breaking the hug, ‘Let a mother be happy!’
‘She’s usually not this sweet.’ He says jokingly before winking at you.
‘I thought you would cancel!’ She says to him before turning to you, ‘I am so pleased to finally meet you. I’ve heard only good things about you.’
You blink a couple of times as the blush gets to your cheeks. ‘It’s so nice to meet you too.’
‘Come in!’ She says walking back in, ‘Food is almost ready, the cooks have been working non-stop since this morning.’
You try not to act surprised as a lady in a uniform takes your jacket off. In front of you, there’s an elegant double staircase with black bannisters and white marble-like steps. Mrs. Harrington gets lost upstairs and you curse yourself for not thinking about bringing some expensive bottle of liquor for the Harringtons.
A hand strokes from your elbow to your wrist before interlacing your fingers. Steve smiles at you with his tired yet excited eyes, and you’ve never felt so safe before.
The air is filled with the smell of roasted turkey, but you can also sense hints of cinnamon and pumpkin. There’s classical music coming from somewhere and Steve rolls his eyes as soon as he hears it. But though you think the house is huge and spacious, there’s a sense of coziness you guess Mrs. Harrington has put effort into getting today.
‘Dad?’ He asks, but he’s only answered by the echo of his voice. He looks back at you a few seconds after. ‘He’s probably skipping today. Some last minute thing at work.’
He shrugs with indifference,but a part of you sees the hurt in his eyes. Steve walks into the living room without letting go of your hand, thinking it was too good to be true. His father’s stupid speech about wanting him home replaying in his head… All lies.
But as soon as you walk into the spacious living room of the Harrington home, you see a man sitting on an armchair, the newspaper on his hands. Steve lets go of your hand and walks in, not believing his eyes.
The man on the chair looks exactly like your best friend, except for the grey hairs and few more wrinkles, but the similarity is undeniable since both of them are wearing glasses. Mr. Harrington lifts his eyes at the sight of his son, and if you’re not wrong, maybe unconsciously, his mouth lifts in a discreet smile.
‘Hey,’ Steve says standing in front of him with his hands on his pockets. You look around the room, pictures of Steve throughout the years adorning all the walls, vases with flowers and some expensive looking art pieces on the shelves.
‘Steven,’ Mr. Harrington stands up and puts a hand on his arm, squeezing lightly. The man looks beyond his shoulder at you, and you give him a small smile. ‘And you’re…’
‘Cherry, dad.’ You notice the tension on his voice as he says it, but you walk the distance between the living room entrance and his father.
‘It’s very nice to meet you.’ You say offering your hand, he holds it after giving a look to Steve ‘You have a beautiful house, Mr. Harrington.’
‘Thank you.’ He says plainly before making a pause. ‘Do you like wine?’
You nod so enthusiastically it makes you embarrassed. ‘Of course.’
‘Great. Why don’t you show her the wine cellar, Steve? Get a nice Sauvignon so we can make a toast. Food should be served in a few minutes.’
‘Sure.’ He says smiling like a little kid, you can’t help but be moved by how happy he seems.
He puts a hand on the small of your back before leading you to the far end of the living room. The temperature decreases as you walk downstairs until you’re standing in front of a big wooden door.
The cellar is illuminated by warm lightbulbs. You hug yourself as the heels of your boots click on the stone floor. Bottles of red wine that probably cost as much as your rent are piled on the walls in wine racks. In the middle, a tall wooden table sits. You walk along the squared room touching the corks that seal the bottles.
‘M sorry about my parents, they’re quite extravagant.’
You turn back to look at him. He’s reclined on the door, in that usual posture of his that drives you insane. You give him a shy smile as you shake your head. ‘I don’t mind.’
He nods with a bitter smile; his eyes avoid yours when he walks to the wall on his left. You observe him from the other side of the room. Steve takes out a bottle and reads the label to check that is the right one. He walks to you before placing it on the table.
‘Steve,’ you say giving him a serious look. ‘This is nice, really. You’ve got a beautiful house and your parents seem… happy to have you here.’
He looks down before taking a step towards you.
‘You know when I was little, I used to think it was haunted.’ You give him a sad smile, looking at the way resentment is clear on his voice. ‘It’s a big house for an only child.’
You take a step towards him, and he looks at you. He reads you with his honey eyes for a few seconds. You look so perfect yet so out of place here, surrounded by the ghosts of his childhood. Your eyes are full of innocence with the hope that things with his family might get better. And he doubts it, but does he love you for believing in it. Believing in him. One of his hands finds your face and the softness of the gesture catches you off guard. His thumb strokes the apple of your cheek, making sure you’re here. You’re real. His eyes look down to your lips, just this morning he was thinking of them in bed, imagining your body filling the empty space next to him.
‘I’m so glad you’re here, you know?’ He whispers, looking around the room, then back at you. ‘This place feels less lonely with you in it.’
The clicking of a pair of shoes makes you look beyond his shoulder and his hand falls from your face.
‘There you are!’ Says Mrs. Harrington ‘Food is about to be served, I hope you chose something nice, Stevie.’
Mrs. Harrington takes the bottle and smiles at the label before giving you two a look. Steve scratches the back of his neck and puts his hand on your back once again.
‘Let’s go sit.’
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The air is thick with tension at Thanksgiving dinner in the Wheeler’s household. Karen has been fighting with Holly to wear a cloth napkin on the collar of her dress since they sat down. Mike has been silent the whole time, the clicking of his knife and fork is the only sound coming from him, and though Nancy has tried to get him to look at her, he is lost in his turkey leftovers.
‘I’m going to play some music.’ She says standing up.
Nancy walks to the living room, thinking this could lift the mood of the depressing family meal. She picks a Doris Day CD, knowing it might be appropriate to play in the background. The sound of Mike throwing his cutlery against the plate makes her look behind her shoulder.
‘Can I be excused?’ He asks.
‘Of course not.’ Says Ted then, ‘We’re eating, Mike. Finish your turkey.’
Mike fights the need to roll his eyes before he snaps. ‘It’s just not fair that I have to stay here all evening when I had plans with Will.’
Karen gives up on the napkin cloth, ‘Mike we’ve talked about this, I don’t want to hear any of it.’
‘Listen to your mother.’ Says Ted. And something about it makes Nancy furious.
‘What’s going on?’ She says as she walks in.
There are a few seconds of silence as Mike looks down. Nancy looks back at her parents. Karen waits for Ted to speak, but he takes a sip of his whiskey instead.
‘Sweetheart,’ Says Karen ‘Your father and I thought it would be wise to take some distance from the Byers until you figured out your disagreement.’
‘Figure out?’ Nancy blinks repeatedly in shock and sits down again. ‘There’s no figuring out, mom. The papers were signed. I’m not changing my mind.’
‘Nancy, it’s normal to have disagreements during the first year.’ Says her father.
‘As I said, this is not a disagreement. It’s a divorce. It’s final.’ She looks from Ted to Karen, to Mike. ‘And Will and Mike have nothing to do with it.’
Karen lets out a frustrating sigh. ‘Holly, why don’t you go play with your dolls for a while?’
The little girl excuses herself and walks upstairs. Ted stands up too, the glass of liquor in his hand.
‘Let’s go watch the game, Michael. Your mother and sister need to have a conversation.’
Karen shuts her eyes as Nancy follows her dad with her eyes, shocked at his lack of interest. She doesn’t know what she hates the most, the fact that he leaves everything to her mom to deal with or that he doesn’t even care enough to be part of the conversation.
Mike stands up reluctantly and follows Ted into the living room.
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You and Steve sit on opposite sides of the table as his parents sit on each end. You’ve tried your best to be polite and just nod and smile, but Mr. Harrington bombs you with questions about your parents. He seems quite impressed when you tell him they’re professors in two very known colleges, but he loses interest when you tell him your dad is a doctor in Anthropology and your mother read Sociology and Palaeontology.
You try not to smile when he abruptly changes the subject to your own life, suspecting maybe he isn’t sure about what any of your parents’ degrees involve. You explain briefly where you went to college and what you major was but refrain from giving any details about your useless job you don’t even like.
‘This wine’s really good, Steve.’ You say before taking another sip.
Mrs. Harrington tries to exchange a loving look with her husband, but he drops his eyes at your comment. She gives you a smile before speaking, ‘It’s the one we drank at our wedding toast. We got married in the West Coast, in a Californian vineyard.’
‘That sounds like a dream.’ You say with a smile. Steve hasn’t been able to take his eyes off you all afternoon. You’ve been so relaxed so far, dodging his parents’ elitist questions so cleverly that the tension on his shoulders has slowly dissipated. Mrs. Harrington stands up from her chair and takes a little picture frame that stands on the shelf above the fireplace.
Steve is still looking at you when she brings her chair closer and gives you the frame. You look from Mr. Harrington to him, and you don’t want to stay it out loud, but they look so alike. In the picture, Steve’s parents stand outside what looks like a beautiful vineyard villa in the 60s.
‘Your dress is gorgeous,’ you say with a smile stroking Mrs. Harrington’s wedding gown in the picture, ‘it reminds me of Audrey Hepburn’s in Funny Face.’
‘It’s because the design was inspired by hers.’ She says with a fond smile, ‘I still have it upstairs, I loved that dress so much.’
Steve’s mom takes the picture frame. You look up to find Mr. Harrington silent, playing with the leftovers of pumpkin pie in his plate. He clears his throat before turning to Steve.
‘Football?’
Steve looks surprised at his father. He nods, trying to suppress the childish excitement that fills his chest. It’s been years since he has sat down to enjoy a match next to him.
You look at Steve with an encouraging smile before he stands up from the table to follow his dad into the living room. Mrs. Harrington returns the photo frame back to its place before turning to you.
‘Would you like a cup of coffee or tea? I usually spend the day watching movies while the boys enjoy the football.’
‘Coffee would be great, thank you.’
Mrs. Harrington calls for someone and the same lady that took your jacket comes into the living room to start cleaning up the table.
‘Let’s move into my studio.’ She says standing up, you follow her trying to hide how intimidated you are by this house and the Harrington’s manners. ‘I mean, I call it a studio but it’s actually just a little room where I knit and read.’
The room is not little at all. You can see how she has taken the freedom of decorating it in whites and blues, a flower wallpaper adorns all the walls except for the crystal one that shows you a rainy view of the garden and pool. You try to hide your smile at all the romance books for moms she keeps on her bookshelves, a lot of Johanna Lindsey and Nora Roberts.
There are pictures of Steve everywhere. You smile at one of them where he must have been between eight or nine in a basketball uniform that was definitely too big for him. Next to him, a young Mrs. Harrington kneels smiling. There’s just a few where Mr. Harrington appears, but Steve is smiling widely in all of them.
One in particular catches your attention, a polaroid of two silhouettes, a woman and a man, is framed next to one of Mrs. Harrington’s shelves. The picture is blurry, and their faces can’t be seen since it has been taken from a low angle. You can’t help but smile at the clumsy childish calligraphy bellow the picture that reads Taken by Steve, July 1976.
‘When we designed the house, I decided I wanted a space that was all mine.’ She says sitting down in the armchair next to a coffee table. ‘I was always surrounded by boy stuff being the only woman in the house.’
You sit down on the armchair opposite to her, trying to be conscious of your posture as you do. ‘I wouldn’t know. It was just me and my sister at home so dad’s the one that had to get used to it.’
She smiles, ‘That sounds wonderful. I always wanted Stevie to have a sister, but my husband travels too much.’
She says it as if it was an insignificant thing, but by the way her eyes get lost beyond the crystal wall, you get the feeling that the thought troubles her more often than she would admit. It fills you with a bit of sadness. She’s a beautiful woman, younger than her husband by a few years. You see the resemblance to Steve as you look at her, in the way her eyes get softer when her brows relax.
‘Mrs. Harrington,’ The maid comes in with a tray with two cups on them ‘There’s call for you, Mrs. Banks from the country club is on the phone.’
‘Oh, great.’ She says sarcastically standing up, ‘I was bored all morning, but she decides to call just now.’
The maid sets the tray in front of you and Mrs. Harrington takes her cup. ‘I need to take this call, Cherry, but you go ahead and start. Feel free to wander around the house. If you need anything just ask Bernadette.’
You nod and offer a shy smile to the maid before taking a sip from the cup.
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‘Nancy, your father and I are worried about you.’ Says Karen. She reaches on the table and takes Nancy’s hand on hers. Her mother’s tanned skin and hot pink manicure looks like a stranger’s next to her pale hand with short and clean nails. ‘We thought this separation thing was going to be temporary.’
‘Mom, no divorce is temporary. A-And I’m fine. I’m back in Hawkins close to my friends and to you guys, isn’t that a good thing?’
A part of her wants to tell her mother about the therapy. About how it has helped her to see things clearer, about how she doesn’t cry anymore whenever she gets her period, the blood on her underwear reminding her of that morning when she went to ER. She wants to tell her about the month she spent with insomnia, and when that was gone there were nightmares. Now she was able to sleep for six hours straight and that was an achievement. But even though Karen’s eyes are overflowing with worry, she doesn’t feel her mother can understand.
‘Sweetie, you’re living alone in an apartment spending your weekends with your… lesbian friend. Do you have any idea how worried we’ve been since you told us you’d be living with Robin?’
‘Jesus Christ, mom.’ Nancy stands up, her ears start feeling hot with rage, ‘I don’t live with Robin and even if I did, our friendship is not like that. She has helped me so much with everything I’ve been through.’
‘Nancy, sit d–’
‘You’ve no idea what going through a divorce is like and god forbid one day you realise how useless dad really is, because I don’t think you’d have the guts to leave him.’
Nancy storms out of the living room to climb the stairs that lead to her old bedroom. Everything is the same as she left it when she moved with Jonathan, and it kills her because there’s still so much of him in here. But right now, all she does is lay on her bed and pull her knees to her chest as her eyes water. She wants to go back to school and make friendship bracelets and cootie catchers with her friends, she wants to play D&D with Mike, she wants to write hearts next to Steve Harrington’s name on her notebooks.
She’s so scared.
And she knows she is because of what her mother’s words have triggered inside of her. What she has fought so stubbornly to keep cold and hard as stone is melting and running through her fingers.
A truth she had never considered until she came back to Hawkins. Until she met you.
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You do as Mrs. Harrington said and walk around the house. The path you’ve taken has led you to a different entrance of the living room from where you can only see Mr. Harrington and Steve’s heads against the back of their armchairs.
You wonder how long it has been since they did this together, thinking of the kid in the pictures that now sits on the armchair next to his dad, and you decide to give them some space.
You walk back the same way you came and wander around, the sound of your boots clicking on the floor, echoing through the spacious yet empty house. You end up in a TV room browsing through shelves of movie tapes that remind you a lot of Steve’s little collection at his apartment.
‘Excuse me, miss.’ A voice behind you surprises you. You find Bernadette in the room’s door with her hands on her lap and a shy smile. ‘Someone’s on the phone asking for you.’ You furrow your brows in confusion. ‘A Miss Wheeler?’
You blink many times before you nod and follow her into the hallway. She leads you to a small lounge area with an old-fashioned couch next to a little table where the phone sits.
‘Thank you, Bernadette.’ You say with a small smile. You feel her eyes linger on you a second too long before she walks out.
Your heart is about to burst out of your chest before you pick the phone. ‘Hello?’
‘Hey, Cherry.’ Her voice is low and a little raspy, you know she has been crying, but don’t think is appropriate to say anything, or ask anything. Not after what happened last time.
Nancy lies on her bed with her lampshade as the only source of light illuminating her profile. She’s picking her nails while she thinks of you in Steve’s big house wearing her green sweater, soaking it with your nice almond scent. She thinks of Steve playing with the little ribbon on your hair this morning.
The sound of your voice makes her feel better.
‘I’m sorry about calling.’ She says, thinking she really didn’t know what else to do. ‘I was wondering if, uh, you guys could maybe give me a ride home this evening after you leave? I was supposed to stay the night, but something came up.’
‘Oh.’
You want to say more, but that’s all that comes out. She misses the way you were so caring two months ago before she screamed at you and ruined everything.
‘Yeah, of course. I’ll let Steve know. I’ll probably be driving anyways; he’s been drinking more than me.’
She lets out a soft laugh, but you don’t hear any joy in it. You bite your lip, and she closes her eyes to the sound of your breath on the line.
‘Did you have a nice meal?’ She asks then, feeling her ears getting hotter with embarrassment. She doesn’t want to hang up just yet.
‘I did.’ She can almost see your lovely smile on the other side of the landline. You lower your voice before speaking again, making sure no one hears you. ‘I spent more time answering questions about my family than eating, though.’
She laughs a bit louder, and you can’t help but laugh too.
‘Sounds like the Harrington’s house, yeah.’
‘What about you?’ You ask her. There’s a long silence in the line before she sighs.
‘I’ve had better years.’
You nod even though she can’t see you.
‘I, uh,’ she starts, her words getting faster as the unusual friendliness makes her feel nervous, ‘I have to go, we’re about to watch a movie.’
‘Cool. Well, we’ll see you later.’ You say, tracing the pattern of your tights with your hand.
‘See you later.’ She whispers before hanging up.
Nancy lets out a deep sigh and covers herself with the flower bedsheets she remembers begging her mom to get for her back in 7th grade. She can feel the dust of her girlhood all around her as she closes her eyes.
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You walk back the same way you came hearing the clicking of you boots echoing through the big house, trying to get Nancy’s sad voice out of your head. The hallways of the house are quite confusing, but you manage to get back to the main entrance where the double staircase is.
‘Hey,’ you say as you walk into the living room. Steve is sipping on his glass of whiskey, he has taken off his sweater, revealing a plain white shirt underneath. Mr. Harrington is not in the room anymore while the big TV shows a commercial.
‘Hey,’ he stands up as soon as he sees you and walks towards you to hold your hands. His are cold from holding the crystal glass and you can feel the alcohol in his breath, but you don’t mind. ‘Were have you been, huh?’
You shrug and smile timidly ‘Had coffee with your mom and then spoke to Nancy on the phone.’
Steve furrows his brows and opens his mouth to say something, but an older voice interrupts him.
‘Nancy Wheeler, huh?’ Mr. Harrington says walking in the room with a new glass in his hand. You drop your hands from Steve’s and hug yourself. He sits on his big armchair, the air of arrogance in his tone makes you feel uncomfortable. ‘How’s she doing, Steve?’
‘She’s okay, dad.’ He replies scratching the back of his neck. Everything has been so good all day, but his father’s tone takes him back to the conversation they had a few weeks ago at the café. He can feel the tension building up on his shoulders.
‘Can’t imagine the Wheelers’ disappointment,’ Mr. Harrington takes a sip of his drink and looks at the TV. You frow your brows at his words. ‘She seemed like such a nice girl when you two were dating. I always wondered what you did that made her leave you for the Byers’ kid, but I guess she was just one of those girls that need to learn a lesson or two before finding a good man.’
Steve rolls his eyes. You can feel the tension in the room as he takes his sweater from the chair, talking under his breath. ‘I knew this wasn’t going to work.’
‘Steve—’ You start, but you shut up when he turns back, his face has turned red with anger.
‘You always do this.’ He says to his father. Mr. Harrington lifts his eyes, his eyebrows arch with cynicism, ‘When things are good you always find a way to fuck it all up.’
‘What’s going on?’ Mrs. Wheeler’s voice is low when she walks in. She looks with confusion between her son and her husband. You see the fear in her eyes, and the way she flinches at Steve’s loud voice tells you this is not the first time something like this has happened.
‘You want to know why Nancy and I broke up?’ Frustration overflows in his voice as he stands in front of his father. He is so tired of trying, so tired of getting his hopes up with him just so he can crush them again. ‘Because I was an asshole. An asshole who was raised by another asshole, that’s why. I–’ Steve makes a pause, and you swallow as you see his eyes getting glossy. ‘I could’ve protected her, dad. But it’s not like you know anything about that because you were never home to do that for me and mom.’
‘Stevie…’ Mrs. Harrington’s hands lift in the air in hopes of touching him and ask him to stay, but he shakes his head before storming out of the living room.
You hold your breath as Mrs. Harrington looks to the floor. Before the first tear falls from her face she’s already walking towards her studio.
Steve’s father doesn’t move from his chair. He doesn’t bother acknowledging you by grabbing the remote control and turning up the TV’s volume.
Football is on again.
Bernadette stands next to the door with your jacket in her hands. Her face is indifferent, and it freaks you out a little, how used to the Harrington’s fights she must be.
‘Thank you.’ You say is as you put it on, ‘Where…?’
‘Outside, madam.’
You nod before heading out. The autumn’s cold air hits your face as you come out of the house. The sun has almost set, painting the trees in shades of blue and orange. All your eyes focus on is the boy with arms crossed leaning against the maroon BMW, his back is facing you, so you can’t see him until you walk around the car to stand in front of him.
He has to lean in a little to fit in your arms. He’s so tired, but the soft skin of your neck against his forehead, and your almond perfume give him the calm he’s struggling to find. You run your fingers through the brown locks of his hair and the arms on your waist hold you tighter.
You grab his face on your hands, but Steve’s eyes remind closed as your foreheads touch. He’s so pretty, you think. So pretty and sweet and good. It breaks your heart he’s going through this. You lean in, leaving a soft kiss on that little space of skin right next to his mouth.
‘Can you take me home?’ He asks with a soft voice, the alcohol still strong on his breath. His head finds that perfect place on your neck again and you leave another kiss on his ear, you’ll do anything to show him you’re not going anywhere.
‘Yes. Yes, of course, baby.’
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part VIII: maroon
taglist: @ahoyyharrington @mochminnie @luvslogan
I do no consent for people to plagiarise, translate, copy or repost any of my written works anywhere. I do not consent people to use any of my written work for AI purposes.
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wildemaven · 11 months
Text
The Secrets We Keep…
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Pairing: Dave York x F!Reader
WC: 5284
Warnings: 18+; self doubt, asshole friend, cheating, divorce, failed engagement, food and alcohol, hotel hookups, hot and heavy make out session, a little angst I think, secretly in love with friend’s husband, I think that’s it.
A/N: This has been sitting for so long! I’m glad to finally get this off my WIP list! I struggled through some parts of this so I hope it flows well!! I feel like Dave is misunderstood and just wants to be loved, so this is me trying to give him that… Anyways hope you enjoy! Likes, Comments and Reblogs are appreciated, helps me know you enjoy and helps me to stay motivated so I can write more.
Shout out to @gnpwdrnwhiskey getting me in my Dave feels and talking through this with me!!
Masterlist / Main
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“I’m going to tell him tonight!” You told the reflection looking back at you.
You give yourself a once over in the mirror, admiring the way the black dress drapes over your body, the way it hugged every inch of you. This slip dress was outside your realm of comfort, especially for tonight. You lived in well-worn jeans and buttery soft t-shirts outside of your 9-5 work attire, sandals or sneakers depending on the weather-- You chose comfort over dressing up 90% of the time.
But tonight you decided to throw caution to the wind, opting for something on the sexier side in hopes for a little confidence boost. The dress, simple jewelry and strappy heels were definitely doing it for you in this very moment. Taking one last spin, your phone vibrates on our dresser. Noting the time, you already know who it is—your longtime friend Carol.
*Ding*
Carol: Are you on your way yet?? The sooner I can get out of here the better!!
*Ding*
Carol: Dave is hovering and it’s pathetic
You were already dreading tonight and it hadn’t even begun.
*Ding*
Carol: I need a drink! The sooner the better!
You: Hi! Sorry!! I got sidetracked picking an outfit, but settled on the 5th option I tried on! Just grabbing my purse and heading out the door. Be there in 15!!
Carol. Carol York.
Your longtime friend of many years. You’d met when you both attended the same college in this very town. Both graduating at the same time and starting your careers together. You considered her one of your closest friends. You’d both had gotten engaged around the same time too. Her to Dave, who you always found to be very reserved but polite—could be his government job. And you to Jason… Jason who worked in accounting and loved to crunch numbers at all hours of the day— thrilling.
But as the years went on it was apparent that Carol didn’t value the friendship you shared as much as you had.
The digs were what you first started to pick up on throughout the years— the backhanded compliments, at your expense. Always pointing out things she thought you could fix about yourself— “You shouldn’t wear your hair like that, it’s not flattering” “I don’t know why you keep wearing that color, it horrible” “Why do you always just stand there when we go out? You would probably have more friends if you actually talked to other people”
You always brushed them off as Carol’s way of being a “good friend”, and as years went on you found yourself believing most of what she said too. She wouldn’t say them if they weren’t true… right??
When your engagement to Jason ended, Carol was there for you— sort of.
She and Dave had been married for a year when you and Jason had called it quits, deciding you were better off as friends and not romantically.
While you weren’t that heartbroken over the break-up, you still wanted your friend to lean on as you began to navigate through this new chapter of your life. Carol let you sulk for about 2 days before she was letting you know everything you could have done better and why Jason was better off. And once again, you took her harshness as just being a good friend—because that’s what good friends do… right??
It wasn’t until the affair began did you start to look at Carol differently.
Her and Dave had always seemed rock solid in their marriage. You never heard about fights or disagreements. Carol never complained about him outside of the normal annoyances. Dave was always the outstanding husband everyone adored. And while he was ever the dutiful husband, he was equally handsome. Carol knew women looked at him too. But that wasn’t enough for her. He wasn’t enough for her.
She met Glenn through work, you assumed some young intern wanting work his way up in the ranks. Carol kept it hidden as much as she could. But as they got more serious, the quick fucks in the office weren’t sufficient for them. So Carol had to think quick on her feet, come up with something that could get her more time with Glen.
In comes Girl’s Night.
Who would suspect anyone would be cheating, if they were meeting with their dear friend every Wednesday for a regular Girl’s Night? That’s how you found yourself getting thrown into this mess of a situation. Carol confided in you about the affair, said she was bored to death with Dave and needed something more exciting in her life— a complete shock to you. You had tried to tell her to just explain to Dave where she was coming from, maybe they could seek counseling to try and mend whatever Carol thought was lacking.
But Carol wouldn’t budge.
You became third wheel to her extra-curricular marital activities. Picking her up every Wednesday and driving to the fancy hotel across town where she would meet up with Glenn at the room he booked for them weekly. You would sit at the bar in the lobby for close to an hour by yourself, wishing you were literally anywhere else but there.
You felt icky letting this carry on for as long as it did—almost as if you were the one doing the cheating too. You didn’t deserve to be put in this position.
Dave doesn’t deserve this! I have to say something. I can’t be a part of this anymore! You thought to yourself as you drove the few blocks it took to get to their lovely two-story home. He deserved to know who his wife was and how she was when he wasn’t around.
Dave was a great guy. Always attentive to Carol and her lavish ways. Her wanting to look the part of the successful wife. Top name brand clothes and accessories, top of the line cars and dinners at the fanciest restaurants for no special occasion other than to just be seen. Dave just let her be, never complaining or showing any sort of annoyance at her ridiculous behavior.
Dave was the perfect husband if you were being brutally honest. And perfectly handsome. His dark locks were always brushed just right, never out of place. His eyes, while dark in color, held so much lightness to them—especially when he smiled that gorgeous smile of his. Your gaze instinctually would gravitate towards him without even realizing it sometimes. Imagining what it would be like to have someone as dreamy as Dave was.
You had even imagined what it would be like if it was you who Dave came home to every night. How you would take care of him—preparing his favorite meals, making sure he had a few snacks tucked away in his briefcase just in case there wasn’t time for lunch. Dave was worthy of being taken care of everyday. But this wasn’t reality.
Reality was Dave is married to your friend who doesn’t love him the way that you could—the way that you deeply wanted to.
You pushed those thoughts aside as you pulled up to their home. Checking yourself in the mirror once more before making your way up to their front door.
You knocked several times, waiting on the front step, hoping it would be Carol to open the door. You weren’t sure you could see Dave in this very moment. You wanted to wait until after you dropped Carol off at home, knowing she would be indulging in a few drinks too many and wouldn’t be up for conversation once she was safely home for the evening.
The creak of the door opening pulls you from your thoughts, and staring back at you is Dave. Dave in his grey fitted work slacks, baby blue dress shirt with its sleeves rolled up exposing his beautiful taut forearms. Your breath hitches in surprise, trying your best to conceal any sort of desire you have for this man.
“Hi..” His voice trailed off as his eyes scanned your body from head to toe, no words needed to convey the look of desire he tried so hard to make look less than obvious.
“Hi Dave. I.. umm.. Is Carol ready??” The words manage to fumble from your mouth. The look he’s giving you is hard to read but it’s enough to send a yearning want through your body.
“Yes…Yeah! She said she would be down in just a second. Just finishing up. Would you like to come in and wait? I can get you a drink??” Pulling the door open and motioning for you to come in. He seems nervous too.
“Thank you, but I’m good. I don’t plan on drinking tonight but I appreciate the offer.” Stepping through the door and planting yourself in their entryway.
There’s a heaviness in the air as you both stand there in silence.
You avert your eyes as much as possible but you can’t help but look at the man standing before you, they way you’re so drawn to him as he stands there with his head down and hip out, hands resting on his narrow waist line.
The sound of Carol bounding down the stairs has you standing taller, hoping your awkwardness isn’t noticeable.
“Alright don’t wait up for me Dave. I’m sure we’ll be late like always.” Grabbing her purse off the stair railing and shoving her phone and wallet in to it.
“You’re wearing that?!” She points at you. Her expression shows distaste and a sense of jealousy if you had to guess.
You look down at yourself, embarrassment ticking the back of your neck. Looking up you see Dave staring at you, his face hard to read, he must agree with her and you wish you could crawl in a hole and hide away forever.
“Do I look bad?”
“Well it’s not the worst thing you’ve worn. But maybe this will the thing that catches someone’s attention finally.”
“Carol..” Dave’s eyebrows arch up at her comment, his jaw ticking to the side as Carol continues her onslaught of badgering, shifting his stance in the uncomfortableness that now surrounds the three of you.
“We’re late. Let’s go.” Clapping her hands together to announce her departure. Dave goes in for a kiss or a hug but is met with Carols retreating back as she makes her way to the car.
“Have a good night Dave. I’ll make sure she comes back in one piece.” You smile at him sweetly as you begin your journey to the car.
“Just so you know she was wrong. You look nice.”
You stop just before you’ve made it outside, turning to see Dave staring at you, his gaze has softened bit with Carol now out of earshot.
You can’t help but feel giddy at his comment, a smile tugging at your lips as you look at him.
“Thanks, Dave.”
*
You can feel your palms begin to sweat as you try to think of how to bring up the subject to Carol, knowing it won’t be received well.
You turn the volume of the radio down so you’re not competing for her attention.
“Carol, we need to talk. When are you going to tell Dave about the affair? You can’t keep this up forever. Just tell him you’re unhappy and I’m sure he’ll understand or something.”
“Ugh! Can we talk about anything but Dave.” Rolling her eyes and avoiding the topic all together.
“Carol I’m serious.” Your grip on the steering wheel tightening as you continue to question her. “This needs to end. And whether that’s you telling Dave you’re done and want a divorce or you stop this secrecy thing you’re doing and fix your marriage.”
You’re adrenaline is peaking and you can feel yourself questioning whether or not you’re doing the right thing.
“You couldn’t even keep a man long enough to get married, let alone keep an actual relationship— you think I’m going to take advice from you? Ha! That’s real fuckin’ rich coming from you.”
“This is the last time Carol. No more girls night out. No more me covering for you. I’m done— I don’t want to be a part of your lies any more.” Putting your car in park, finality dripping from your voice.
“What are you going to do, tell him yourself.” Swallowing the last bit of confidence you had as she continues. “You don’t think I see the way you look at Dave? That I don’t see the way you make eyes at my husband? You sound like a hypocrite.”
You can feel the heat as it spreads across your face. Are you as horrible as she is? You’d never act on your feelings towards Dave— he’s married, and he loves Carol. You would never involve yourself in someone’s marriage.
“Here, get yourself a drink or two, loosen up a bit. And while you’re at it, take out that stick you have lodge up your ass— might help you get laid.” Venom pouring from her mouth as she exits the car, tossing a few $20 bills on the seat before slamming the door shut.
*
The bartender keeps the drinks coming, Diet Coke on the rocks is as good as it’s going to get. You’ll pour yourself something stronger the minute you get home. You’re going to need it after tonight’s disastrous argument with Carol.
You’ve been sitting here nearing two hours now, an hour longer than normal and turning down several unwanted advances from inebriated hotel guests who clearly thought they were being slick as they slurred their words.
The bartender silently places another glass in front of you, a pity nod to your pathetic singleness. You’ll be sure to leave him a decent tip for the somewhat non-judgmental service.
A staggering figure heading your direction catches your attention. Carol being helped by who can only assume is Glen— you’d never met him prior to this evening, only been told of him by Carol.
You’re taken aback by him, he’s not what you expected at all. He’s short in stature, pointed features and what you can only assume is a poorly glued on hair piece.
Your brain trying to figure out the how and the what behind his appeal. He is everything Dave is not by appearance standards— you have to stop yourself from comparing this guy to Dave, he’s not yours.
Glen, who’s one bum hip away from an AARP subscription, is edging exhaustion as he tries his best to keep Carol upright as he tries to prop her up once they get to the bar.
Carol attempts to say something, but she is too far gone to make any sense.
“She finished two bottles of champagne, barely touched dinner so she’s a little drunk.” You’re already annoyed by his voice and you’d just met him.
He asks for your help and you both all but carry Carols half limp body to the passenger seat of your car.
Buckling her in, cause you still care for her safety, he mumbles some gross lovey nonsense to her and kisses her with his chapped crinkled lips. Thankfully they’re both unaware of how confused and semi-grossed out you are at their whole interaction.
“I’m Glen by the way.” Leaning further into the car extending his crepey hand over Carol to you in the driver’s seat.
You can smell the champagne on Carol’s breath, definitely smells expensive and nauseating, as she slurs through tries her best to introduce him to you, telling you how Glen is the CEO of her firm and how much money he has— it all making sense now.
You look at his hand then back up to his face. “So I’ve heard. Please close the door.”
He slinks out and closes the door as you start the car, promptly backing out of the space to set out on your drive back to the York’s home.
You were looking forward to washing this night off of you. Hoping a hot shower would strip away the guilt and shame of being an accomplice to Carol’s affair, as well as the what you can only assume the ending of your friendship.
*
You’re not sure how long you’ve been sitting in Dave and Carol’s driveway. Carol’s snoring the soundtrack to you weighing the pros and cons of telling Dave.
Pros:
He wouldn’t have to suffer Carol’s charade of being the perfect couple to keep up with the Jones’
He wouldn’t have to deal with Carol being insufferable when she doesn’t get her way
He would be happy
Cons:
He might think you’re making things up to break up their marriage
He might tell you you’re meddling
He might hate you
The odds seem pretty even as your brain continues its spiral trying to convince yourself to just tell Dave the truth. The possibility of never seeing him again weighing heavily on your heart.
There’s a knock on your window and you nearly have a heart attack. Dave is bent down trying to get your attention, you’re not sure if he’d been standing there awhile or not.
You roll down your window, the cool air hitting your face, a slight chill creeping over your skin.
“Hi.”
“Hi.” You melt at the sight of his smile, he looks so happy when he does.
“She might have gotten a little carried away tonight.” Looking over at Carol still completely passed out, trying to decide what you should share about your evening.
“That’s okay. I can go ahead get her out.” He’s still looking at you, his gaze is enveloping and sincere. “Would you like to come in for a bit?”
“Umm, yeah— sure. I’ll grab her purse for you.”
Some how Dave makes into the house with cradling her sleeping body, you following on his heels. Even in her drunken state, he’s still an attentive husband.
You set her purse down on the entry table and shuffle about, not really sure what to do with yourself. You’ve been here plenty of times but you all of a sudden feel like a stranger within these walls.
“Go ahead and help yourself to water or snacks if you’re hungry, just going to put Carol to bed and then I’ll be right down.” Looking down at you from the top of the stairs.
You admire his broad shoulders, his T-shirt pulled tight across them and his flexed biceps bulging as he carries his cheating wife to bed.
A drink of cold water was just what you needed to calm yourself down, now the glass sits heavy in your hand as you stand in the kitchen, trying to not let your mind wander off too much.
“Sorry about that. Got her all tucked in for the night. She’s going to hurt tomorrow.” Dave says as he enters the kitchen.
“Mhmmm..” Taking one last sip of water, your throat suddenly dry at the sight of him— a comfy relaxed t-shirt and a pair of dark wash jeans.
“Yeah…So, you ladies must have had a fun night then??”
You watch him move about the kitchen, grabbing dishes from varied spots on the counters and placing them in the sink.
“Yeah… W-we always have a great time.”
You place your now empty glass on the kitchen island in front of you, trying your best to sound as convincing as possible, but you’re not really sure he’s buying it when he only hums in response.
“I have some of that wine you love in the fridge if you want a glass?” He says pointing over to the fridge behind you as he settles up against the island counter next to you, actively trying to keep some distance between the two of you.
“I didn’t realize you like it too?”
“I— actually I don’t.” A nervous laugh huffs out of his chest, his hands settling in his pockets as he looks down at his feet for a few seconds, then back over to you. “You always bring it over and seemed to really enjoy drinking it. I keep a bottle, you just in case.”
“Oh..” His admission has you reeling.
Why would he go out of his way to do that for you? Carol doesn’t even like the wine, and you know this because she makes a point to tell you how cheap it is compared to the vintage Cabernet any chance she gets, which is usually in front of her other friends and colleagues.
And then it hits you like a ton of bricks out of no where, Dave has been more of a friend to you over the years than Carol ever has been. Always making sure you feel comfortable when he’s around and doing these small little things for you, like a normal friend would.
“Dave… There’s something I need to tell you.”
“Yeah?” His brows furrowed as he looks at you with concern.
“Umm, these Girl’s Nights aren’t really that…” You take a deep breath before you continue to share your truth. “Carol…” The words seem to get caught in your throat, but you decide it’s now or never. “Carol’s been having an affair with her boss. She came up with this weekly night out thing so she could meet up with him and I some how got caught up in it. I told her she needed to tell—“
“I know.” You think you hear him laugh as he says it.
“What? You know about the affair?!”
“Yeah. Known for awhile actually.”
“And you never said anything?!”
“I work for the government and she’s really not as subtle as she think she is. Plus I needed to quietly collect all the information to help my case when we go to court. Knowing Carol, she’ll try to twist everything.”
Your hands planted firmly on the countertop to hold yourself up as you process what he just told you. You don’t know if this is a relief that Dave knows, or makes you look even worse that you hadn’t said something sooner, your head spinning in circles.
“Wait! What do you mean when you go to court?” Your attention snapping back over to where he’s still standing.
“I filed for divorce last week. The paperwork is waiting for her on the nightstand next to the Advil and water she’ll need when she wakes up.”
You can’t help feel relieved and happy Dave knows but also a little sad that he now has to deal with this. Divorces can be messy and knowing Carol, she isn’t going to go down without a fight.
“I’m so sorry Dave. I should have told you sooner. I can’t believe I just let her think she could use me for her own gain.” Your head hangs down a bit, you wish you had stood up for yourself all those times Carol was anything but kind to you— but hindsight is always 20/20 as they say.
Dave must sense your emotions as he slowly places his hand on yours, his thumb drawing small delicate circles over your wrist.
Your eyes are glued to where his hand is, it’s warm and tender. The tiny movements have your heart pounding, you’re not sure if he realizes the effect it’s having on you.
“Hey..” He leans back a bit to get your attention back to him. “You have nothing to be sorry for, this isn’t your fault at all. Even with out the affair, I think this would still be our outcome.”
“What do you mean? You seemed so in love with her.”
“I mean, yeah, I do love her— did?” His jaw ticks to the side a bit, trying to gather his thoughts. “We’ve both been distant for awhile now. I’ve been sleeping in the guest room for a month— we’ve essentially been separated under the same roof.”
“Carol never said anything.”
“I’m sure she wanted everyone to still think she had this perfect life outside of these walls.”
“Doesn’t really seem fair to you.”
He shrugs his shoulders, looking at you with a slight grin. “I could say the same about how she treats you.” And he’s right.
“You look really beautiful tonight.” His voice is shaky, his smile soft as he takes you in again. Pushing himself off the counter he inches closer until he’s standing directly behind you.
“Th-thank you.”
His fingers toying with yours as his firm chest meets your back, heat radiating from him as he cages you in.
“I’ve always thought you were beautiful, always wanted to tell you how beautiful you are.” His breath fanning hot against your ear. Your breathing heavy and rapid as he confesses his thoughts to you.
“Tell me to stop and I will…”
You turn so you’re facing him, your body giving in to what it has so desperately been craving, your hands seeking out more of him as they slide up his chest to his broad shoulders.
His eyes flitting up and down, your lips and eyes his main focus as he waits for a response.
“Don’t stop…please.” Ever.
It’s magnetic the way his lips collide into yours, a moment you’d only ever dreamed about in private, never thinking it would ever become your reality.
His strong hands work over your body, grabbing, pushing, pulling—taking advantage of having you this close to him.
Dave is a force, a heady mix of carnal desire and affection— a man starved of love.
The minute your lips part, his tongue is seeking out yours, heavy but sweet as he devours your mouth— you try your best to give him the same energy he’s pouring into you.
Your hips will themselves towards his, a slow deliberate grind against him, your fingers accentuating your need for more— and more he’s willing to give.
He pats your hip, signaling for you to hop on the counter, his hands grabbing the backs of your thighs helping you up.
A wet sensation has you nipples perking, Dave taking the weight of your breast in his mouth while he gently pinches and rolls your other nipple. The feeling of his warm mouth and the cool fabric of the dress against you sensitive skin elicits a small whimper, your head falling back and back arching into his touch.
“Dave..” You’re not even sure what you were going to say, your chest heaving and head clouded by lust. You’re putty at the hands of this man.
“Yeah, tell me—tell me what you want.” Kissing his every open space available to him— the top of your exposed chest all the way up your neck. His hands pushing your dress higher as he pushes your legs apart, prompting you to wrap them around him and pulling him in close.
“You. Always wanted you!”
A moan rips from his throat and he kissing you like he’s not sure if he’s ever going to again, grabbing your ass and pulling you closer to him. Your own hands moving about, gripping his hair and caressing his face as your mouths work together.
Arousal thick and swarming, fueling the sexual fire that’s about to burn this fucking kitchen down.
At some point the reality of what is happening cracks through your brain and your body goes rigid— guilt washing over you like an ice cold bath.
Dave senses the shift in your demeanor and pulls away, brows pinched in concern as he tries to read your expression.
“What’s wrong? Are you okay— did I hurt you?” He’s breathless, his hair a mess from your doing, his lips full and he looks so beautiful in this post lustrous haze.
“N-no. I’m fine, I promise. I just— I can’t do this. I mean I want to, trust me I do. But it feels wrong.” You close your eyes and let out a deep sigh, leaning forward to rest your forehead on Dave’s. “You’re still technically married and I’m no better than Carol if we let this continue with where this was headed.”
You can feel Dave nod in agreement before he pulls away, a brief kiss to your temple before he’s helping you off the counter and righting your clothes.
Your heart sinks at how quiet he is when he walks you to your car, you’re not sure what to say or how to feel.
You want to kiss him one last time, fearing this is it for the both of you, but you opt for a hug instead. His arms holding you close, nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, breathing you in one last time.
“Good night Dave.” Emotions high but you do your best to keep them hidden until you’re in the safety of your car.
“Night.” A subtle nod to you as you approach your car.
The drive home is bleak, ending a long time friendship and then turning down the man you’ve been in love with can conjure up a lot of emotions.
Time will tell whether you made the right decision.
*
Several Months Later…
Your work life has been hectic to say the least. But it’s kept your mind busy following that evening at the York’s house.
You hadn’t heard from Carol since that night, and you can only assume she thinks you told Dave which prompted his filing for divorce.
You wish you could say you were sad to lose your friend, but the truth is you feel lighter with out her in your life. You didn’t realize how miserable you were and how much she had made you feel unworthy of so many things in your life.
It felt like a blessing in disguise.
Then there was Dave. You hadn’t seen him either since leaving his home. You’d replayed that evening in the kitchen over and over again, which made you long for more than you should have. You’d both let feelings get in the way of what was right, but it didn’t mean you couldn’t wish things were different.
You think of him often as you go about your days and hope he’s doing well.
“Hi, what can I get you.” The sweet barista asks as you walk up to the counter in your neighborhood coffee shop.
“I’ll take a Latte with an extra shot and an everything bagel, to go please.” You have a few meetings today, so you need as much energy as possible.
“That’ll be $10.50.”
You begin to dig out your wallet to pay, only to realize you’d forgotten your wallet at home on the counter where you were paying bills last night.
“Shit! I—I forgot my wallet at home. I’m sorry, you can cancel—“
“Here. You can add it to my order.” A stranger with an oddly familiar voice steps up and hands the barista his credit card. “I’ll take an Americano and the same bagel order.”
As you go to thank the man for the kind gesture, you realize that this stranger is not in fact a stranger.
“Dave?”
“Hey!” His smile seems brighter and more relaxed. “How are you?”
“I’m— I’ve been good. How have you been?” You stammer over your words a bit, he was the last person you were expecting to see this morning.
“Can’t complain really. Work is, work and being a single divorcee isn’t all that bad.”
“Hmm. Single?” You try to contain yourself, but you’re just slightly giddy at his singleness.
“Yeah. Officially for about a month.”
“Congratulations— I think.” That makes him laugh.
“Thanks. Hey, do you want to sit for a bit.” Pointing over to an open table. “If you have time, I don’t want to interrupt your day.”
You glance down at your watch, your first meeting isn’t for 2 hours. You smile, grateful for your scheduling for the day.
“Yeah. I have plenty of time.”
223 notes · View notes
battleangel · 5 months
Text
I Am Not My Hair
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What actually happens if I shave my head bald?
Why cant I see what I look like without hair?
Why do I have to be sick or have cancer or be dying?
Why am I not allowed as a woman to just shave my head?
Why do I need a reason, a justification, an explanation?
Why do I have to justify being hairless?
Why are people acting like Im dying and have cancer just because Im bald?
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Nothing happens. Thats the gag.
Youve been taught to fear.
Its just my bald head. Why is that forbidden?
Verboten?
Why cant I ever see what my actual head looks like without all this hair on it?
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Why cant I see what my face looks like without it constantly being surrounded by hair?
What if I like being bald?
What if I like not spending $1200+ a year on my hair?
What if I like not styling my hair?
What if I like not doing anything with my hair other than cutting it super short, about an inch or two, every few months?
Why does it threaten people for a woman not to care about her hair?
I dont want to go to a hair salon or barbershop.
I dont want to go back to an afro.
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I dont want locs or dreads.
I dont want shaved sides, I already did that last year.
I dont want corn rows or bantu knots, Ive done that too.
I dont want to grow it out.
I dont want a $500 lace front wig.
I dont want a wig professionally installed by a stylist every 2 to 3 months.
I dont want to wash or brush my hair.
I dont want to put any products in my hair.
Why is it a sin for a black woman to not want to grow her hair out?
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I dont want my "long beautiful" hair back.
I dont want it halfway down my back again.
I dont want it to my waist again.
I dont want to relax it again -- there are lawsuits against Loreal, black women who used Just For Me and other chemical relaxers to straighten their hair are being diagnosed with cancer, inferitility and fibroids.
The chemicals in a relaxer are strong enough to break down and destroy the natural texture of your curly coiled kinks and force it to be straight -- those same chemicals are also strong enough to literally peel paint off of cars -- why are you putting this directly on your scalp for an hour plus every 2 to 3 months from the time you are a pre-teen or in high school until adulthood, for decades, and thinking that there wont be health issues?
They target products to Black women that kill them.
Remember the little Black girls that sang the R&B pop jingle in the Just For Me commercial?
"Just for me...hair so healthy, silky and free."
Who was that song for?
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This was the 90s and there were multiple Black girl groups back then -- TLC, 702, Blaque, Xscape, Jade, Total, MoKenStef, etc. -- they wanted to get us while we were young so we would keep using their products until adulthood. 
I got my first perm, I am 4C, at 11. I was so glad my mother stopped burning me with the hot comb that she had tortured me with since I was 5. Anything was better than that as I had a very sensitive scalp or "tenderheaded" as it is called in our community.
I couldnt wait to go to Touch of Magic salon where my older sister already had her long, silky hair. I was tired of being tortured by a hot ass comb that was constantlu burning my fucking scalp and I was tired of being told to "sit still" while my scalp was being fucking burned. I couldnt wait for the Revlon Fabulaxer so the dreaded golden hot comb could be forever banished from my existence.
From 11 to 34, 23 years, I faithfully got  a relaxer at the salon every 2 to 3 months. It was about $120+ (relaxer, deep condition, style, split ends, color, etc.). Over the years, that fucking adds up, over $100k I spent on my hair. Even when I went natural at 34, my 4c hair is extremely thick, kinky, nappy, unruly and very difficult to deal with. People have literally broken combs trying to comb through it. Needless to say, I couldnt manage anything myself but a wash and go so I spent thousands at the salon as a 4c natural on Senegalese twists, box braids, Bantu knots, corn rows, twist outs, twist updos and flat twists. 
Then I shaved my sides and cut my hair super short and started going to barber shops but I was dyeing it fuschia back then so my hair was still costing me money.
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Then last year, I finally just grabbed kitchen scissors out of my kitchen and hacked it myself and decided I was never going to go back to a salon or barbershop.
I was going to cut my hair with kitchen scissors myself every 2 to 3 months. I do like different looks so I have five cheap synthetic shitty wigs that are different colors (blue, blonde, green, black). Depending on the lewk and fit, either I just wear my hair natural and short or I slap a wig on.
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But thats it. No maintenance, no upkedp, no hair care routines, no wasting away a Saturday at a salon, no barbershops, no wash and gos, no 15 hour sessions getting braided extensions. 
Just literally cutting it with kitchen scissors every 2 to 3 months and slapping on a cheap shitty wig whenever I have a certain fit or lewk and thats it.
Then in August, I decided to shave my head bald. I didnt want even a few inches of hair anymore so I grabbed my husbands razor and shaved it. Didnt go to a barbershop or stylist. Had no idea how to even use the razor and just shaved it all off in under 10 minutes. I loved the bald look especially with thick ass winged liquid eyeliner, bold dramatic eyeshadow and colorful lipstick.
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I have a few inches of growth that in a month or two, I will grab the kitchen scissors again and cut my hair down to an inch or two. Ill do that every few months. I love it bald but even shaving my head on a regular basis is more time than I choose to devote to my hair. Cutting it with scissors to an inch or two every 2 to 3 months is my absolute limit.
As a woman, thats not allowed.
Especially as a Black woman.
And I was raised by a Southern Baptist fundamentalist, so forget about it.
You have to obsess over your hair, products, styling, color, length, look, appearance, texture, curl pattern, thickness, volume, care routines, pre poo, deep conditoning, tea tree oil, diffusing, texturizing, blow out, straightening, relaxing, lace front wig installations, weaves, kanekalon, bundles, braids, twists, locs, dreads, corn rows, bantu knots...
You cant just not do your hair!
Only you can. Because thats exactly what I do.
Even as a Black woman and we are brainwashed to be absolutely obsessed with our hair.
Go back and look at the hysteria India Arie caused when she shaved her "beautiful curls".
Just like India Arie, I am not my hair.
68 notes · View notes
thegifstories · 1 year
Text
|Take A Chance| Chapter 3: Decided
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21 can you do something for me? Can you hit a lil rich flex for me?
I laugh as my best friend Melody twerks along to Drake beside me at the bar. We’ve been at this birthday party for all of five seconds and here she goes but I amp her up as a best friend should. We giggle together as we wait for our turn to order. The club is packed which is to be expected when the birthday boy Jamal was one of the biggest party promoters in the city. Of course he’d go up for his own birthday and as Ian’s other best friend, our attendance to this Freaknik themed celebration was mandatory. We spent all afternoon getting ready and it paid off as our outfits are super cute. Melody is dressed in a denim two piece, the fitted bra and mini skirt accent her hourglass shape. I’m in an airbrushed tank tube top I got made specifically for tonight. My nickname is decked out in neon pink bubbly handwriting, accented by stars and hearts. It’s paired with a bedazzled white spandex mini skirt that has my ass slipping out if I breathe too hard. Our hair is done up in classic 90’s updos and we are draped in gold jewelry. As we move up in line my phone vibrates and I see a text from Cam.
Look good enough to eat. 
You gon’ feed me pretty baby?
We had taken a bunch of pictures before leaving the house and of course I sent Cam all of the ones that didn’t make it to Instagram. Heat flashes through me as I tuck my phone away and decide to leave him on read. He’d get his answer eventually as I’m bound to run into him tonight. For the last couple of weeks we have been hanging out almost every day. When we weren’t in each other's faces, we were on the phone, spending hours talking about anything under the sun and enjoying the silence when there was nothing left to say. Outside of a few heavy make out sessions, Camden had remained true to his word and hadn’t attempted to take things further. He meant it when he said that I would essentially have to be the person to make the first move. My resolve was crumbling with each time he left a lingering kiss on my lips or lightly bit my neck reminding me of our time together on game night. The sexual chemistry between us is potent  but before I can give our situation any more thought it’s finally our turn in line. 
“Can I get two margaritas please?” I ask the bartender, flashing the blue band on my wrist that signified that tonight all of my drinks were covered. 
“Sure thing boo,” she says, grabbing two glasses. 
“Where is the section again?” Melody asks, looking up from her phone. 
“Uh, I think it’s down here, close to the DJ on the stage. Is that Yasmina?” I ask, referring to her cousin and my other close friend. 
“Yup, you know her ass is always late. She just parked up though,” Melody said. 
I turn to the bartender again and ask, “Oh can we get one more of the same thing please?”
“I got you mamas,” she says, grabbing another glass to add to the two she has lined up in front of her. 
I reach inside the clear fanny pack on my waist for some cash to tip her with when a hand covers mine. Looking up I see it’s no other than Camden. He’s dressed in an open colorblocked button down that reveals his carved torso paired with cargo shorts and a pair of retro one’s. A heavy gold rope chain sits on his chest that makes me wonder what it would feel like to have it brushing across my face as he hovers above me. As if he can read my thoughts, he leans down and whispers, “I take it you're coming home with me tonight?”
I nod my head because I don’t trust my voice to give the right answer and he looks like he wants to press one out of me but is interrupted by our drinks being ready. He drops a twenty into the tip jar on the counter. “Thank you,” I say but he waves it off as he passes Melody her drink and grabs the other two.
“We this way,” he says, leading the way. I use one hand to loop onto his shorts and grab Melody’s free hand as we maneuver through the growing crowd. By the time we make it to the section, Yasmina has joined us. I hug her and then go over to hug the birthday boy, my brother and his wife Tamera  who looks so good in a neon orange bodysuit. 
When I’m finished with the greetings, Cam passes me my drink and slyly brushes his fingers by the cuff of my ass that hangs out of my shorts. He sends a smirk my way as he goes to pour himself some Hennessy from the bottle on the table. I hold his gaze biting down on my bottom lip before turning around to see my girls staring directly at me.
“Ooo! Ooo! You been fucking on-
I use my free hand to clamp it over Melody’s loud mouth. While music is blasting, the last thing I need is for Ian to hear her in a pocket of silence. 
“Tell the whole club damn why don’t you and not fucking, fucked, past tense,” I said, pulling them closer to me and towards the end of the section so we weren’t right up on the boys. 
“Nah with the way he just looked at you, it’s present tense like hell,” Yasmina added. 
“Hell I think I’m wet,” Melody chuckled.
“Not too much Mel,” I said, pointing a long nail in her direction.
“Oop not she ready to fight me,” Melody laughs to which I roll my eyes. 
“She said that’s her man, her man, her man,” Yasmina giggles.
Holding up my middle finger I say, “Fuck both of y’all.”
I have been holding whatever this was with Camden close to the chest because I want to explore it free of judgment. At first I was quick to write him off as wanting to just have a fling but he easily dispelled that notion. Our conversations allowed me to see a whole new side of him. One that was caring and overly affectionate because even though we had yet to have sex again, our intimacy was showing me that my past relationships weren’t shit. We could be laying on the couch and he would always make sure some part of my body was touching his. If we were eating, he would stop feeding himself to feed me if he felt I wasn’t eating enough. He wasn’t comfortable unless I was. I felt totally safe with him and the possibility of what that meant scared me. I didn’t need anyone else's voice in my head when it came to this situation. 
“I’m just playing with you Indy. Besides ain’t no one looking at Camden wild ass but you,” Melody says, taking a sip of her drink and swaying to the Lil Baby song playing. 
“And he ain’t looking at nobody but you,” Yasmina says, tilting her head forward. 
Looking over my shoulder, I see that sure enough, Cam is staring directly at me. His smoldering gaze makes me feel warm all over like before. For a brief moment I remember how it feels for him to be clung to me, crowding my space with his presence. He smirks, reading my face and nods his head. Turning away from him, the girls exchange another glance.
“It’s…complicated. I’ll tell y’all later. For now, let’s go dance.”
We all toss back our drinks and leave them on the table so we don’t have to hold them as we make our way to the dance floor. Seems like we make the decision at the right time as the DJ finally announces he’s going to start his 90’s set. I Want to Rock by 2 Live Crew begins to blast from the speakers and we all yell in excitement before getting in position to shake some ass. Time flies as the DJ plays song after song that keeps the party in full swing. The whole time I dance, I feel eyes on me and when I dare to look up Camden is who I find. He watches me like I’m prey and I move my body to draw his attention, the most willing victim to his hunt. 
His attention isn’t the only one I’ve caught but it’s the only one I feed into. Different men try to approach me to dance and each time I decline, having fun dancing with my girls and seducing Cam. When one guy starts to get aggressive, Cam is at my back before I realize, scaring him away with a look and a few choice words that gets his point across. He grabs my hand and leads me back towards the main bar, clear out of the view of our friends. There’s a pocket of space between the wall and the bar that we occupy, he tucks me against the wall and shields my body with his. 
“Did he hurt you?” he asks, lifting up my hands to inspect damage that isn’t there. His fingers move and examine my forearm looking for any sign to turn back around.
“I’m okay, Camden, come on let’s go back,” I said leaning in so that he could hear me over the music. While annoying, that man had been all talk when he started getting loud with me. 
“Nah, no more dancing for you before I get arrested,” he says in my ear, hands now resting on my hips. The tips of his fingers caress the sliver of skin exposed between my tank top and skirt. 
“I’m with my friends though! Don’t let that loser ruin my fun,” I pout. 
He steals a kiss from my lips before saying, “I’m not repeating myself Indy. Y’all can dance closer to us.”
“I cannot shake my ass around my brother,” I said. 
“Ian is not thinking about you. He all up under Tam. Besides, you grown baby, you can shake that ass wherever,” he said, reaching low to grab a handful of the ass he’s speaking of.  His touch is kindling to the fire he’s been stoking inside me all night. 
“Can I shake it over your dick?” I ask, abandoning my mission to return to the dance floor to snake my hand between us and caress the bulge in his shorts. 
He presses his body further into me forcing me to keep my gaze on him. “Is it still my dick or is it yours?” he questions, brow raised. 
It was time for me to decide. 
Was I still scared? Absolutely but Cam is worth the risk. 
Pursing my lips, I moved until they were ghosting over his. “Mine.”
“If it’s yours that means no running. It means that you take all it has to offer like a good girl,” he says, breathing me in, lips hitting mine as he speaks. “It means that you are mine to do whatever I please with. That you know after me there is no one else. You ready for that?”
“Yes.”
He pulls me into a kiss, his tongue tasting of nothing but vanilla from the bourbon as he licks into me. His hand is at the base of my throat, thumb applying slight pressure as he takes all of the air out of my lungs. When we separate, we're both breathing hard like we’ve run a marathon. In his eyes a storm is brewing that I hope is unleashed on me. I get my wish when he grabs my hand and yanks me from the wall. No words are exchanged between us as we leave our friends behind and hop into his truck.
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From the moment the door to his house closes we are on each other. He scoops me into his arms and pushes me against the foyer wall. My lips kiss every piece of exposed skin they can find as he grips my ass tightly. His teeth are back on my collarbone, using a vampire's bite to  design a new necklace that I’ll be proud to wear. Our touch is frantic, vital, as this moment has been weeks in the making. My skirt now sits on my hips as capable hands rip my thong from me. The sting of the fabric snapping against my skin is nothing compared to the way his bites tear into me. There is something about his pain that is more than tolerable. It’s euphoric and churns the river between my thighs. He gives me what I can handle and what I can not, all with the same goal in mind.
He glides down to the floor, never losing his hold on me as he sets my legs on his shoulders and makes good on his earlier promise to make a meal of me. The only thing I can grab onto is his ears as he plunges his tongue into me. His energy is overpowering and takes me to new heights. 
“Camden!” I cry out feeling my thighs begin to quake. 
His grip on me remains secure even though I can’t keep still. His undeniable strength and the wall are the only things that are keeping me upright. He doesn’t let up until I tremble again in his arms. I’m trying to catch my breath as he eases me down onto the floor, kissing his way up from stomach and each breast, the coolness of his chain following his path. 
“I need you inside of me like right now,” I said, grabbing onto his chin so that his eyes meet mine.
He nods his head, pushing his tongue between his lips to tease a nipple. “Tell me what else you want.”
“For you to put my legs by my ears and go so deep I feel you when I breathe,” I said, which earns me a wickedly delicious smile. 
Placing his hands underneath my thighs, he pushes them upwards and my flexibility has my legs right where I said I wanted them. He’s silent as he watches me through a heady gaze.  It’s in what he doesn’t say that builds the anticipation. The way he unbuttons his shorts with one hand and using the other to encircle my clit. I lick my lips as he plays with me, closing my eyes and tipping my head backwards as the feeling washes over. They pop right back open as he gives me what I asked for. He’s filling me up and stretching me out as his hips slam into mine. If it’s not for his hold on my waist I’d go flying. His chain slaps against my chin and I’m in heaven as I get my reward for making a choice. 
Cam leans down, placing all of his weight behind my thighs and takes one of my toes into his mouth. The action pulses straight between my legs, sending another gush flooding out of me. His tongue then moves to trace the inside of my ankle. “You the perfect fit you know that? Taking this dick like it was made for you and it was.”
His words make me melt as I moan when he swoops down to kiss me. His tongue pulses against mine as my fingers weave themselves into his thick hair. Feeling him dig into me can only be described as heavenly. He breathes harshly into the crook of my neck as he groans into my skin. The sound sets off another round of trembles but I’m not ready to cum just yet. Too bad he doesn’t care. Sensing that I’m holding back, he eases up to gather my legs in his hands to hold straight up. He slams into me with reckless abandon. Angling his hips slightly he finds the spot that makes me scream his name. 
“Yeah, scream for me pretty baby just like that. Let a nigga know he doing his job. Am I doing my job?” he asks, each word accented by his dick forming an acquaintance with my g-spot. 
“Yes!” I moan, slapping my palms against the floor. There is nothing for me to hold onto. Nothing for me to use as leverage or as a distraction from the pleasure he’s dishing out. All I can do is take it.
“Stop fighting it Indy,” he commands, slapping my ass to highlight his point. “I feel and I’m right here. I got you, I promise I do. I promise.”
It’s his words that are my undoing. I fall apart all around him and until my voice grows hoarse from screaming his name. He presses close again, kissing the side of my face as he strokes me through it. “Just like that pretty baby, just like that. You earned this.”
Those are the last words I hear as everything goes black around me. It seems like I’m floating in space as the pleasure he bestows paralyzes me momentarily. When I come to, we’re in the shower and he’s supporting my weight as he washes me. I press a kiss to his chest, gaining his attention.
“Welcome back,” he grins softly. 
“What did you do to me?” I said, pushing up on my toes to kiss his lips. 
“Gave you what you wanted,” he chuckles, spinning me so that he can rinse me off. 
“Smart ass.”
The rest of our shower consists of sleepy conversation that’ll only make sense to us now. He takes care in drying us both off and dressing us for bed. We collapsed into his bed tired and sated. Like always he makes sure I’m close enough to wrap my legs around his waist and so he can hold on to mine. As I drift off to sleep with his scent clinging to my skin and tucked in his embrace, I know I’ve made the right decision. 
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It’s the sunlight that causes my eyes to blink open. Looking around, it takes me a few seconds to realize where I am. There is a dent in the sheets where Cam is supposed to be. Hearing movement downstairs, I picked up the t-shirt he discarded in his sleep and put it on. Before seeking him out, I make a pit stop at the bathroom to do my morning routine. As I wash up, I take note that my hair is everywhere but the intricate bun it was in when I got here. With a smile, I remember all the ways Cam had me in his hold last night as I removed an endless amount of bobby pins so that I can wrangle it into a high ponytail. Once I’m some semblance of presentable, I make my way downstairs. In the living room with ESPN on in the background is Cam shirtless and sweaty as he does pushups. I walk until my toes are close to him, he playfully kisses the tops of them and tosses me a silly grin. 
“Hi,” I say, easing down so that I’m sitting a few feet away.
“Hi,” he replies, never breaking his stride. The muscles in his arms draw me in as I watch them contract every time he pushes back up. “Did I wake you?”
“Nope, sun beaming through your blinds did. It’s cool though since it’s twelve in the afternoon. Why didn’t you wake me?” I chuckle. I haven’t slept this late in eons. So long ago that it’s not in recent memory but it feels good.
“You deserved to sleep in and so did she,” he replied with a wink. 
I blush, shaking my head at him but choosing not to reply. Instead I resume watching him and he’s content with me doing so. Locking in once more so that he can finish his set. I can tell when he’s nearing the end as his pace starts to slow. It’s then, on his next ascent, that I inch closer and steal a kiss right when I know he’s about to look at me. He smirks and I repeat the action for a second time. When I go for a third, he launches himself forward, hovering over me as I erupt into giggles underneath him. He playfully nips at my cheeks enticing more laughter.
“Aight you got my attention,” he smiles, pressing his lips against mine. “What you tryna’ do miss lady?”
“Nothing until you feed me. I’m hungry baby,” I reply, the term of endearment making his eyes light up. Up until now, I had called him by nothing but his name and I can tell it makes a difference to him as a bashful smile takes over his features. 
“We can’t have that now can we?” he said, his hands pushing underneath the shirt so that he can place his hands on my hips. I was noticing it was his favorite place to hold me by.
“Nope,” I said, popping the ‘p’ for emphasis. 
“Want to do anything besides eat greedy?” he asks.
“I kind of just want to be up under you all day watching random movies,” I said, reaching up to cup his face and bring it closer to me. “Is that cool with you?”
“That’s perfect,” he said, dropping a kiss onto my lips. 
If anyone told me four months ago that I would have preferred spending all of my free time with this man I probably would have laughed in their faces but now? It’s his company I seek because in it, I can be myself. I’m allowed to soften because I know he won’t take advantage of the vulnerability I don’t let most people see. I want to learn to be as open as he is and grow into someone who can show their feelings freely without being afraid. I want him to know how much he makes me feel every time he’s around.  It dawns on me at this moment that he quietly trails his fingers over my waist as he watches a sports highlight that I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want Cam. The person I spent a good chunk of my life fighting against is the one I couldn’t see myself without. Seeing me get too lost into my thoughts, he intervenes at the right time by picking me up and tossing me over his shoulder. I squeal as he decides the last part of his workout should be swinging me around. 
Chapter 4 HERE
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