Buddie 616 meta
Maybe I’ll start with Eddie confirming something I’d already discussed in my meta posts more than once before, most recently in my 614 meta, which is that he married Shannon because she got pregnant. He heavily insinuated this to Bobby back in 217, but now he said it explicitly, to everyone, and without the same kind of weight which we saw from him in the past. I think this change is indicative of how he IS healing from the trauma of how badly his marriage failed and how guilty he’s felt over it, now that he’s capable of talking about it more lightly than he did before. I love that for our boy. ~~
Speaking of these men actually being boys, moron husbands, partners in dumbness, we got Buck and Eddie sharing one brain cell and NOT putting it to good use. Even though in the overall scheme of 911 things, that might not seem that significant, I have to say I just love seeing them like that. It’s FUN seeing them being morons who support each other in the way they try to deal with Chim thinking that just popping the question to Maddie is enough, or in Eddie supporting Buck’s dumbass suggestion of a flash mob, or just being pressed together in the fire truck ‘coz they never have any personal boundaries with each other and they don’t understand why those would even be needed (seriously, don’t think too long about how all of a sudden five people had to squeeze in the back instead of four, and OF COURSE it would be Buck and Eddie rubbing thighs together, because no other pair out of the whole team is as comfortable with each other’s bodies). This may not be the deepest part of their bond, but it IS a part of it, a consistent one, the daily partnership that’s the foundation for the big, important, profound parts. ~~
Once again, we get a demonstration of how the way Buck and Eddie are with each other is different to how they act with their other friends. Even when Eddie is exasperated with Buck, he never actually gets upset, he just tries to get Buck to focus, like we saw him in 516. But with Ravi, Eddie does kinda snap.
Buck as well, when he hears some unpleasant truths about Madney from Hen, there’s no fondness underlining their talk, as much as we know that they DO love each other and have a sibling-like relationship. But compare that to how insufferably affectionate the glances that Buddie exchanged in 504 were as Eddie did essentially the same thing for Buck. ~~
And then of course, we see how Hen has Chimney’s back in this ep, putting his well being first, but she does end up hurting him. They talk it over, and within the same ep she apologizes, he forgives her, everything is resolved, and they move. It’s lovely, but think about the difference in intensity between this and what Buddie went through back in s3. Buck files the lawsuit that would stop him from seeing Eddie in 304. Then the very reserved Eddie has a public meltdown, in the middle of a store, and right in front of his colleagues, because he can’t deal with Buck not being in his life. In fact, that’s the final straw that makes Eddie turn to street fighting. Not only that, because the intensity of his feelings overwhelms him, he doesn’t even directly express his hurt, he uses Chris to convey how much Eddie himself is missing Buck. When Buck realizes just how much pain he unintentionally caused, he wants to apologize, but Eddie is too hurt to be able to hear him out right away. It’s only in 306 that they finally talk, Eddie forgives Buck and then we get the beauty of their hug. But this is STILL not the final piece, no. The show will get back to this in the kitchen scene in 309, where Buck shows Eddie he’s worth apologizing to a second time (even though he’s not even asking Buck to), and the final shot of this is the domestic image of Buddifer on the couch, playing video games together. This is when we know that all is TRULY forgiven, when we get to see them once more as a family unit. Because that’s what they are on top of being best friends, like Hen and Chimney. ~~
I’ll point out that Madney and Buddie paralleling is not new. This has been an ongoing theme since Buck and Chim’s new love interests were both introduced in 201, and since Madney got their onset in 206. The very fact that Maddie thinking Chim’s cute is revealed through a dialogue between the Buckley siblings that also indicates Buck sees Eddie in the same light says it all. I have also gone on about how Buck and Maddie served as truth tellers, voicing their sibling’s crush back to them, I have talked about how Madney were friends first, incredibly domestic friends with their own intertwined routine, before they became explicitly romantic, I wrote a whole meta post about the parallels between Madney and Buddie in 512, and now I can add to this. Because Madney easily fell into the comfort of domestic life, Chim told us this week that got in the way of them stopping to make their commitment official. That’s in a sense Buddie’s story, too. They’ve been building their lives and family unit together without even clocking that they can and should stop to figure out what this thing between them is, and commit to it.
~~ (my weekly meta posts) (my Buddie gifs) (all of my content)
~~ ~~ My tag list will follow in the reblog, please let me know if you wanna be added/removed here.
~~ I’m so thankful to the amazing @whosoldherout for the meta gifs she does each week! They’re always challenging, and you always manage to knock it out of the park!
~~ Thank you to anyone supporting these meta posts. I could never express enough how grateful I am and that they continue to exist thanks to you!
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612 Buddie Food/Drink Meta
The fandom is onto something with the way food, especially refrigerator contents featured in the ep. As I’ve said before, in 911 having and making food for loved ones is about making a family/home together, the warmth and comfort of sharing food connects us. With that established, a few food-related bits stood out in this week’s ep.
Refrigerators
We get a clean shot of Buck refrigerator while he’s recovering from the lightning strike. Stocking up on food so that you have something to nourish yourself and your guests is important. The interesting bit in this scene is that Maddie is the one stocking Buck’s fridge, he has not done it himself. He insists that she not fuss over him in this way but it’s important that she does. It’s her way of nourishing him and reestablishing the loving family bond that his near-death experience threatened to sever. Buck’s resistance suggests that he’s not ready to be fed by her aka reconnected to her. Of course he loves her but something has changed in him and he’s seeking a different kind of support and nourishment. Hence her stocking his fridge herself and him resisting it.
The refrigerator symbolism translates to Buck’s visit to see Eddie too. We get a clean shot of Eddie’s refrigerator fully stocked. We know that Eddie has filled that refrigerator for his family and any guests they might have. Buck sought Eddie out and came to his house. But he didn’t eat anything. Buck was there for something but he’s not ready for the full gourmet meal that is Eddie Diaz and the family he’s offering with Christopher. Not yet. At this point the food at Eddie’s house is ready and waiting for Buck but he’s not ready to just reach into the family fridge and grab what he wants/needs to fully nourish and sate himself.
Eddie was meeting Buck where he was at and that was a glass of water for right now.
Beer
In terms of beverages, Buck accepted the beer offer from Eddie but fell asleep before he could drink it and then when he woke up he only drank a glass of water. Genuine Beer has been a constant symbol between the two of them for opening up and sharing what’s important to them in the moment, especially in s5 and now in s6. The person drinking the beer or shown with the bottle is usually the one getting into emotions. In 504 they shared bottles of Genuine Beer on the balcony and Eddie helped Buck understand that different types of relationships come with different depths of shared understanding between the people in them. Basically Buck knowing Maddie as his sister was not the same as Chim knowing Maddie as her romantic partner. Of course, Eddie was talking about himself at the same time that he was talking about Maddie, hence his swigs of Genuine Beer along with Buck.
The balcony conversation with beers in hand makes it louder that Buck did not have a beer at Eddie’s place in 612. Eddie offered Genuine Beer, an invitation for comradery and Buck wanted to accept that invitation but couldn’t because he’s still figuring out his thoughts and feelings after the lightning strike (and apparently needing rest in the process!). Eddie is farther along with trauma process and farther along with knowing himself in general so he could drink two beers and answer questions like the Hot Wise Man he is post-therapy. Of course Buck came into the kitchen after his nap and was honest but he didn’t have much to tell at that time. He truly didn’t know what he felt or why or what to do about it. He came for Eddie’s support and guidance, and that’s what he got, from the man that had not one but two Genuine Beers earlier that night. Eddie wasn’t ready to talk about everything but he shared as much as he could, and it was A Lot and it was powerful. He was a light in the darkness for Buck. And what did Buck have to drink during this meaningful conversation? That’s right.
Water
Water is the stuff of life. It soothes and refreshes when consumed. Buck came to Eddie’s place for support and safety. He visited Eddie for peace in hard times. Buck came to Eddie for rest and refreshment as symbolized by a nap and a drink of water. Water is also a common symbol for emotion. There are tons of sayings and figures of speech that cover that idea. To be in deep water. In hot water. Out of one’s depth. Water under the bridge. The list goes one. At Eddie’s place, the water is calm and refreshing. Eddie provided that safe space where Buck could begin to drink the waters of emotions safely without drowning in them alone and without pretending everything was fine. The still glass of water was a sharp contrast to the flashback to the tsunami in Buck’s coma dream.
Bonus Noms
Nothing screams that Hen is Buck’s work-sister like them sharing Maddie’s pot roast for lunch! <3
Buck gave Connor a Genuine Beer and he spilled the tea about how he was feeling about he and Kameron being pregnant. Connor opened up about his sense of unreality and disbelief around becoming a father. Buck didn’t drink anything during that scene and of course pretended he was fine.
CONNER’S BROWNIES!
We learn in the ep that the brownies aren’t the special fiber recipe? Uh okay. But what my brain went to after I thought about it was the last time that the show featured brownies. In Dosed!!! The very ep where Buck and Eddie moved Maddie’s couch into her apartment and then ate pizza and drank beer together. The very ep where Buck low-key reveals that he thinks Eddie is hot. The ep where Eddie give Taylor stank-eye for daring to look at his man. The ep where Eddie cries because he feels out of control thanks to the drugged brownies. I could go on but it’s late and I gotta sleep at some point.
EDDIE MAKING CHRISTOPHER:S SCHOOL LUNCH
I appreciated the nod to Chris provided that that little detail. Also, it was a school lunch and Eddie was basically schooling Buck on how to do recovery. It was awesome to see Eddie sharing his hard-won wisdom with Buck. I think there’s a heart theory layer to that scene. The lunch was presumably for the next day so it gave me ‘Eddie’s heart will get a meal soon’ vibes. I don’t really have a sophisticated analysis here. It’s just that food is family and love in 911 and neither man ate during the kitchen scene but they made it a point to show Eddie making Chris’ lunch for later. It felt like a hat-tip to Eddie’s heart, like he’ll get to say more about the shooting and the lightning strike and how they affected him in terms of Buck. That kitchen conversation between Buck and Eddie was just the beginning of a deeper discussion that needs to happen. Chris’ lunch felt like a promise LOL.
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I posted 7,209 times in 2022
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#maybe beck mentioned you were their sister and i went to check out your blog because i’d been seeing your gifs?
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#5
Wrote this so fast I haven’t even edited it but
May’s words echo around Eddie’s head. He’s pouring coffee in the break room and they’re there:
Maybe she felt like she was missing out on a life she could have had.
He’s sitting in Frank’s office and they’re there:
If she’d been born someone else, or made different choices.
He’s lying on his couch, toes wedged under Buck’s thigh, Speed Wedding playing on the TV, and he’s thinking what if this was different?
“Hey,” Eddie says, two beers and the TV half-light spurring him to bravery. “Do you ever wonder what your life might be like if you’d been born someone else?”
Buck gives a little half laugh and turns to look at him, already smiling. “Not you too.”
It’s not the answer he expects.
“Me too?” Eddie echoes.
“Yeah, we were talking about it in the truck the other day,” Buck says. “Whether we had regrets and stuff, you know? If we wished we’d done things differently, lived different lives.”
“And do you?” Eddie asks, inexplicably nervous. He’s not sure if he wants Buck’s answer to be yes or no. Maybe both.
Buck shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says, picking at the label on his bottle. “My life is pretty good right now.”
A sideways flick of his gaze in Eddie’s direction, there and gone. Maybe just a trick of the light.
Eddie swallows. “Yeah,” he agrees. Right now right now right now. “I like to think we always would have ended up here.”
He’s rewarded with a bright smile, the kind that lights up Buck’s whole face, like Eddie reached right into his heart and pulled it out.
“You think?”
Eddie can’t imagine a life that doesn’t have Buck in it. Most days he doesn’t let himself imagine anything more than that—this, friends—either, but… beer, and TV half-light, and feeling brave.
“Maybe not exactly like this, but… You and me?” His voice must be giving him away, but he doesn’t care. “Yeah. Always.”
Buck’s smile is softer then, something a little more shy, a little more…
A little more.
“Always,” he murmurs. “Yeah, I think so too.”
Maybe it’s the stutter of Eddie’s heart in his chest, but it sounds an awful lot like forever.
You and me, forever.
Maybe he’s not missing out, Eddie thinks. Maybe he doesn’t need to be born someone else. Maybe always and forever are still in reach.
Maybe, one day, he’ll be lying on this couch, toes wedged under Buck’s thigh, Speed Wedding playing on the TV, and he’ll think I wouldn’t change a thing.
273 notes - Posted April 26, 2022
#4
the further we get from the shooting the more I can’t believe they did that. they really did that. live on our tv screens. wtf
338 notes - Posted October 9, 2022
#3
stay (so the world may become like itself again)
[Read on AO3]
Eddie kisses his best friend at a wedding.
At a Christmas party.
On New Year’s Eve.
He kisses Buck in the carpark after a team night at a bar on a cool February night, drunk on more than just beer and cocktails, giddy with the taste of salt on Buck’s lips.
“Come home with me,” he whispers into the space between them.
And Buck smiles, hand warm on Eddie’s cheek, and replies, “Where else am I going to go?”
They’re tipsy and giggling, shushing each other as they stumble through the door—then realising they don’t have to because Chris isn’t home. He’s at the Wilsons’ house, will be all night, which is probably why Hen gave Eddie such a knowing look when he followed Buck out of the bar.
“Buck,” he says now, his back against the wall, Buck’s mouth on his neck, the world dark and narrowed to all the places where they touch and the ache in every place they don’t. He doesn’t know what to say except: “Buck, please. Please.”
It’s Eddie’s house, but Buck takes him to bed, guiding him by the hand through the hallway and pushing him back against the sheets.
It’s Eddie’s house, but is it? Isn’t it—can’t it be—their house?
“I should tell you,” Buck says afterwards, tracing patterns on Eddie’s chest in the moonlit darkness. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Eddie kisses his best friend in his bed, both of them naked and probably still too drunk for these kinds of confessions. Or maybe just drunk enough.
“I should tell you,” he answers, “I think I want to marry you.”
Buck’s inhale is a quick, jagged thing, messy and real and trembling under the hand that Eddie has curved around his side.
“Eddie,” he breathes, an exhale and an exultation.
“I think I’ve always wanted to marry you,” Eddie admits, “even if I didn’t always know it.”
He should probably invite Frank to the wedding, he thinks. Maybe that cardiologist who told him he was repressed as well.
“Eddie,” Buck says again, but this time his voice is wet, almost wobbly. “You can’t just say things like that.”
Maybe.
Maybe if it was anyone other than Buck.
“I mean it,” Eddie tells him. Promises him. “You know I wouldn’t lie to you.”
Another trembling breath, and then certainty: “I know.”
Buck kisses him, slow and thorough, the weight of him pressing Eddie into the mattress in all the right ways. There’s no hurry to it, no hurry to any of it, except for the way that Eddie wants all of Buck, all the time, and he’s tired of pretending that he doesn’t.
“We can’t get engaged like this,” Buck says finally, lips swollen, breathing ragged between them. “The others will never let us live it down.”
Eddie shakes his head. “I don’t care.”
“We’re not even dating, Eddie.”
But it’s not a no.
“I already gave you my heart,” Eddie says. Doesn’t have to say when, or which time, or that he’s been giving Buck pieces of his heart every day since they met, even when he didn’t know it.
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429 notes - Posted June 24, 2022
#2
tears are words the mouth can’t say
Saw the promo, had a breakdown, bon appetit.
[Read on AO3]
Buck’s caller ID says Christopher and his heart is instantly in his throat.
“Hey buddy,” he answers, striving for normal, for cheerful and calm, ignoring the way that Hen and Bobby pause noticeably, attention swivelling towards him.
“Buck,” Christopher says on the other end of the phone, and his voice sounds—wrong. Concerned. “Can you come over?”
He can’t. He’s working. But—
“Is everything okay?”
Knuckles tight around the phone, heart thudding sickly fast, already turned toward the stairs. His own worry bleeding through. Buck already knows the answer is an alarm-blaring no before Chris says, “I don’t know. Can you come over?”
A glances at Bobby, a silent response, his captain’s head nodding toward the stairs: go.
Buck goes.
****
He lets himself in.
Maybe he should have knocked.
The lateness of the hour, the darkness of the house, none of it has fully registered until Buck is swinging his arm up to protect himself from—a bat? It never connects, stopped as suddenly as Buck’s face is lit by the flash of headlights from the street.
“Buck?” Eddie gasps. And in the same breath: “Fuck.”
He presses a hand to his chest, bat still clutched in white-knuckled fingers. Buck’s own heart is racing, hands shaking with sudden adrenaline.
“What the fuck,” he starts, and then stops. Starts again. “Christopher called me. Are you—” okay? Obviously not. “What the hell, man?”
Eddie doesn’t say anything, his eyes shuttered closed, breathing loud and gasping in the almost-darkness. Buck reaches for him and he flinches, rocking back, bat still held tight. Buck glances toward the hallway: no light from Christopher’s room, but. It’s only been twenty minutes since Buck got that call.
“Eddie,” he says, lower. This time he gets his hands on Eddie’s arms. “Let’s sit down, okay?”
He steers them to the couch, pushes Eddie down with gentle pressure on his shoulders when he doesn’t immediately sit. He feels like he’s moving on autopilot, muscle memory taking over even while his heart squeezes painfully in his chest. He’s probably going to go home and have this own panic attack about this later, but. Not yet. He has to help Eddie first.
Buck goes to the kitchen to fill a glass with water and when he comes back, Eddie is curled into the corner of the couch, shoulders shaking, face pressed into his knees, shuddering through sobs he is trying and failing to choke down. Buck’s heart seizes.
“Hey,” slipping out as he falls to his knees, water abandoned on the coffee table, “hey, Eds, it’s okay—we’re okay.”
Eddie shakes his head, inarticulate. He’s still holding the bat, muscles locked tight around it, and that more than anything else makes Buck feel cold, worry and anxiety a sick churning in his stomach, helplessness beating against his ribs.
“Eddie,” he tries again. “What can I do?”
Eddie’s answered is muffled. He has to lift his head to repeat it, voice thick: “Chris.”
Of course. Eddie’s first and third and tenth thought is never for himself, always for his son.
“Okay.” Buck squeezes his ankle; he never wants to let go. “I’ll be back in a second.”
****
Christopher’s door is closed, his light off, the glowing bedside clock showing well past his bedtime, but his eyes open when Buck comes in.
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486 notes - Posted March 16, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Love that Eddie came down the fire pole I know he did that just for added drama his first call back
714 notes - Posted May 17, 2022
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