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#911 fanfiction
mellaithwen · a month ago
I didn't want to hijack @extasiswings 's post but I also started thinking about Eddie not being around when that man's being dug out, aaand I couldn't stop... [ edit: on ao3 ]
Eddie looks down at his phone in surprise.
Buck’s calling him. His caller ID is grinning up at him from the screen; the picture of carefree moment in the park on a sunny day from a few weeks ago, with Christopher draped over Buck’s shoulders mid-piggy-back, frozen, mid-reach as they tried to drag Eddie towards them. They’d been laughing so loudly that Eddie can practically hear the sound of his kid’s laughter through the photograph.
But Eddie frowns. He might not be working this Halloween, but Buck’s certainly supposed to be, and if he was just bored in the station house he'd normally FaceTime, or send Eddie a litany of texts about his latest internet deep-dive (the great Canadian maple syrup heist was his current obsession; “3,000 tonnes, Eddie, they stole 3,000 tonnes of Maple syrup!”) —but a phone call?
“Hey man, what's up?”
Buck doesn't immediately respond to the greeting, but Eddie hears the shuddering inhale down the line all the same, and now he's really concerned.
“Buck?” Eddie calls out, just as he notices his son looking over to him from across the room. He gives Christopher a reassuring smile while he waits for an answer from Buck, and he nods to his aunt that he's stepping out for a moment—gesturing over to the front door when he still doesn't get a reply.
“Buck?” he tries again, closing the door behind him with a soft click, and trying not to shiver at the change in temperature now that he’s outside. “Buck, come on, I'm here, okay? What’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“I just…” Buck starts, and stops, his voice faltering for a moment. He clears his throat. Takes another second. “I just needed to hear your voice.”
Buck sounds... shattered, honestly. Haunted by something so much deeper than just exhaustion, and the hairs on the back of Eddie's neck stand on end.
“Talk to me. Did something happen on a call? Are you hurt?” He wonders if he should text one of the others; ask Bobby or Hen if everything’s alright because his nerves can’t handle the aching chasm that stretches out between Buck’s quiet admissions.
“No—we're fine,” Buck says finally. “I'm fine,” he insists, but his voice is still barely above a whisper and Eddie's not convinced.
Eddie waits.
Buck sighs.
“There was... we got a call that this man was.... Eddie, he was buried alive—”
This time when Eddie shivers it’s got nothing to do with the weather.
“—and dispatch tracked his phone but they couldn't get a precise location, and we were searching and calling out his name, and then by the time we started to dig things weren't looking good—”
Buck's voice is shaking, but now that he's started speaking he can't seem to stop, and his words are like an avalanche, gaining fervour as he goes on. Eddie can feel his own grip on his phone getting tighter and tighter until finally he has to sit himself down on the steps of the front porch just to try and catch his breath. He knows where Buck's head is at—he can't help but go there too.
“—a-a-and I just...I couldn't stop thinking about the well collapse, and dispatch said the guy wasn't answering and I started thinking about how we were trying to get a hold of you on the radio but all we got was static, and suddenly I wasn't looking for the vic anymore, I was looking for you. I was back there in the rain and I was clawing at the ground, and it felt like there was this vice around my chest and—”
—there’s a rumbling like thunder overhead. The ground shakes and Eddie tries to grab a hold of the rocky wall at his side but he can’t. He can’t get a good hold as the tunnel collapses all around him. The shaft’s filling up with wet earth and debris, and every breath he takes feels like it’s coated with dirt and mud as he suffocates under the onslaught—
“Breathe, Buck,” Eddie interrupts a little desperately at the memories echoing around in his own mind in response to the fear in Buck's voice.
“Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth,” he says as he tries to follow his own advice. “Take a deep breath, come on, do it with me; in for four, hold it—and breathe out for eight, and again…”
For a little while there's nothing but a stream of huffed breaths down the phone from the two of them, until finally a long steady exhale is followed by a stuttered apology; “I‘m sorry, I shouldn't have—”
“No, don’t be stupid, you can always—”
The siren rings out loud and shrill down the other end of the phone as it interrupts their conversation, and Eddie jumps to his feet out of habit before he remembers that he's not actually on shift.
“I've gotta go,” Buck mumbles, a little reluctantly to Eddie’s ears, and he can hear the rustling movements as the other firefighter hurries over to the trucks. He still hasn’t ended the call, seemingly unwilling to break the connection just yet.
“Yeah of course,” Eddie says, though he makes no move to end the call either—feeling a similar urge to stay present, to remain tethered to Buck for as long as possible. He starts talking again before his brain has a chance to second guess himself. “Come over after your shift in the morning, we can go out for breakfast with Chris.”
There's another exhale down the phone, but this one sounds lighter, happier, like it's being chased by a smile, and Eddie feels his own tight chest loosen considerably at the image he's just conjured in his mind.
“Yeah, that'd be great.” Buck says, “I'll see you then.”
“Perfect. It's a date.” Eddie replies, before hanging up.
(His own words don't register for another thirty minutes, but by then Buck's already sent a smiley-face emoji over text, and Eddie can't find it within himself to regret anything.)
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tylerhunklin · 15 days ago
💃🏻 + Over your shoulder Give me something new to call my lawyer about. And congrats friend <33
zain i love you a lot and am eagerly awaiting to be Served 🥰🥰🥰
The way you said "I love you" - over your shoulder
“Where did you see him last?”
He feels sweat drip down his back and soot shift in his hair, a pressure on his finger where Hen must have placed the pulse ox. There’s sound and smoke and fire all around him, an active blaze that doesn’t feel like it’s gotten any smaller in the two hours that they’ve been there.
But none of that matters because Buck went into that fire with Eddie and came out alone, and the world hasn’t moved an inch since.
A thousand thought fly through his head in the stillness — why didn’t I follow him, why did I let him out of my sight, why did we only get our shit together last week instead of last month or last year, why why why—
“Buck.” Bobby clamps a hand on his shoulder and shakes, just a little. Buck comes back to Earth but it’s still not moving. “Where did you and Eddie split up?”
He swallows a sob. “We— we heard voices coming from the back, by the emergency exit. There must have been an echo because we thought they were together, but— but they weren’t, so we got there, and— and—”
One voice was definitely coming from the foreman’s office, but the other was still out on the ruined floor of the factory somewhere, getting weaker every minute. All it took was a look, like always, for an entire plan to formulate. Split up, grab a victim each, meet back, get the hell out. They’d done it a thousand times before and would do it a thousand times more. They bumped fists before turning away from each other, hoses in hand to fight the blaze as well as they could on their own. Buck made it five steps before he heard Eddie yell his name. He looked over his shoulder, could see Eddie’s eyes crinkling through his mask in a hidden smile, and his first, inconvenient thought was he’s beautiful in the firelight.
“I love you,” Eddie says, or shouts, really. “Make it back to me in one piece, okay?”
And of course this is how it goes for them — six and half days after they poured their souls out to each other and became them, in the middle of a raging inferno, with people to save and their own lives on the line. Of course this is how it happens.
Buck couldn’t help but smile, only rolling his eyes a little. “I love you too. I’ll see you in 10, I promise.”
He watched Eddie run into the fire before turning his back. Two minutes later, half of the roof collapsed on top of where Eddie definitely was, and Buck couldn’t even scream because he had a terrified woman in his arms that he was trying to keep calm and get to safety. He barely held it together long enough to get her outside, moving farther and farther away from Eddie in the process. Strong hands held him in place as soon as he tried to run back into the building, dragged him towards an ambulance, ignoring his kicking and desperate pleas.
He swears he can still hear the sound of the ground beneath him grinding to a halt.
“Okay,” Bobby says, once again snapping Buck back to an unmoving reality. He’s got that look on his face, the same one Buck saw directed at him after the well collapsed, except now he knows exactly what that look means. “Bell and Mueller just went to the back, they’re gonna see if they can spot him. We’ve got more hands and more tools coming, we’ll start digging as soon as we can.”
“Bobby, I need—”
“You need to stay right here, Buck. Let Hen finish checking you out first, then you can lead the charge.”
Not for the first time, Buck is stupidly grateful for a team that knows him so well — that knows he needs this, that knows he’d force himself into the rescue efforts no matter what boundaries they tried to set. He’s about to tell Bobby as much when his radio crackles to life.
“Cap!” Bell shouts. “We’ve got him! He’s pinned under a beam but he’s conscious, we need backup ASAP!”
Buck’s up before Bobby can respond. He runs, and the world starts spinning again.
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writefasttalkevenfaster · 5 months ago
#9 with one of the 911 boys (i’ll let you choose)
9. Lightly kissing their scars
warnings: kissing, i'm doing all three boys b/c i have no control, spoilers for Buck begins
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B U C K:
"What's up?" Buck draws your attention to his face, eyebrows raised, as your fingers trace over Buck's chest.
"You have a lot of scars," and he chuckles, brow slightly furrowed, as your fingers trace over his forearm, "what's this from?"
He shakes his head, "I hurt my arm climbing a tree when I was a kid," and its your turn to raise your eyebrows, "I was really reckless as a kid,"
"Oh, just as a kid?" and he opens his mouth, but you shake your head, "I'm just kidding--"
"I acted out because," he bites his lip, "I thought it was the only way my parents would care about me."
Your heart sank, "Buck--"
"They never paid attention to me, and when they did, it was like they looked right through me, y'know?" he sighs, "but when I got hurt -- they would take care of me, look after me -- it was the only time," his voice wavered, "that I felt like their son."
"I'm sorry," you murmur against his skin, "about the bad joke and about your parents -- I know that doesn't fix--"
And he shakes his head, "No, no it's okay, don't be sorry," and your lips graze his scar, and he shivers -- and your eyes flicker up.
And then you kiss his scar, "Sweetheart--" And you go scar by scar.
"I love you so much, Evan," as your lips now trace over the scar where his leg got crushed, "and I'm never going to let you forget that."
C H I M N E Y:
"You want some breakfast?" Chimney asks, his lips brushing your neck, murmuring as his hands slip lower down your body.
And you laugh, turning to face him, "I don't think you're thinking about breakfast right now,"
"You're not wrong," he surges forward and kisses you, lips sliding against yours. And you're melting into his touch, as your fingers slide through his short hair, running over a scar at the back of his head.
And you pause, "What is that?"
"It's from the rebar," he murmurs against your lips, "from my accident," and you shake your head
"Oh I forgot," and its his turn to pause.
"What's wrong?" you wave him off, "sweetheart--"
"I just," your eyes grow sad, "I just can't believe that day -- I almost lost you--" your eyes sting with tears, "I didn't even know you."
"But I'm here," and you hold his face in your hands, "and I'm not going anywhere anytime soon,"
You kiss him, right over the small scar on his forehead, "Promise?"
And then he meets your lips with his own, placing your hand over his heart, "Promise."
E D D I E:
"Eddie," you groan, as his lips suck a mark into your skin, "please," and he's chuckling against you, vibrations making you shiver, "please,"
"Be patient," he chuckles, but you're in no mood to be patient, and you're pulling at his jacket, dropping it to the floor, "I--" and you cut him off with your lips, as you pull off his shirt, and undershirt, before pausing.
"Eddie," you murmur, as your fingers lightly graze over the raised marks, "I--"
"It's from my time in Afghanistan," he clears his throat.
"How?" you ask, and he shakes his head, "if you don't want to answer, I understand--"
"No, no, it's not that," he shrugs, "no one has never really asked," and he explains -- how their helicopter went down, how he came to and pulled everyone out after being subjected to more gunfire, and how rescue came -- and your fingers trace over the scar again, "I didn't want anything else -- I just wanted to see Chris, to see Shannon, to see my family," his voice falls to a whisper, "and I almost never did after that day."
"But you did," your fingers holding his face, "and you're his hero -- you know that, right?"
"i know," and you kiss him, again and again.
"And you're mine too," you murmur, "always were," and you lean down, pressing your lips to his scars -- "always will be."
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oatflatwhite · a month ago
I think there ought to be a little music here
911 POC Week 2021 day 1 prompt: “I really want to kiss you right now.” + fluff
read on ao3
“I really want to kiss you right now.”
Hen grins, checks her watch. “Can you hold that thought for—another five hours?”
Karen sighs down the line. “Shift work is rude, and I miss you.”
“Hey.” Hen drops her voice as Eddie enters the bunk room, scrubbing a hand over his face. He doesn’t seem to realise she’s there; flops, face down, onto the bed nearest the door. “I always miss you. See you soon?”
“Love you.”
Hen pulls the phone from her ear, watches the call screen time out to her wallpaper: a laughing Karen, in her favourite yellow sundress and heart-shaped sunglasses Hen gave her one Valentine’s as a joke, but which she wears unironically with the confidence Hen first fell in love with. In the photo she’s crouched outside their house, hugging Denny from behind, who’s grinning as wide as he can to show off his missing front tooth. Today’s shift has been almost non-stop and the photograph calms Hen, grounds her. When the screen goes black she thumbs it open again, even though she could trace the image by heart.
It’s another minute before she pockets her phone, rising from her bunk in the corner to join Eddie. She makes sure he can hear the sound of her boots on the floorboards but he doesn’t move, just groans into the pillow.
“You know I’d expect this from Buck, but you?”
“Mmphm,” Eddie says, into the pillow.
“I’m sorry?”
He turns his head. “It’s about Buck.”
“Ah.” Hen sits on the bed. “Care to share with the class?”
Eddie only sighs.
“Okay, scoot over.” Hen wiggles until she’s sitting lengthways on the bed, back propped up against the headboard then the wall. Eddie’s head is close to being pillowed on her thigh and she pats it gently. “You know Karen and I were best friends, before. Still are, but don’t tell Chim.” Eddie doesn’t say anything but she can tell he’s listening. “And for a long time I thought that was all we would be. Could be. I was—scared, I guess. To ruin it.” She closes her eyes, remembering.
Karen’s hair was shorter, and she wore these earrings with sparkling blue stones that seemed to catch the light every time she smiled, winking twin suns. They met at the coffee shop around the block from Hen’s apartment—a bougie hole-in-the-wall, not Starbucks, Karen wouldn’t be caught dead there. She’d been in front of her in the line, hair tucked into this complicated twist Hen couldn’t fathom even as she spent the better part of five minutes staring at it. When she went to pay for her latte, the barista waved her away. “It’s been taken care of.”
Karen caught her eye from the pick-up queue. Hen fought the urge to pat the creases from her hoodie when she walked over. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“I know,” said Karen. She smiled; her earrings glittered. “I wanted to.”
The first time Hen kissed her it was over caramel lattes and a shared orange and almond friand, and there were crumbs on Karen’s lips Hen licked away, carefully, afraid of taking too much. At least until Karen curled her fingers around Hen’s jacket and pulled her close, and she tasted citrus-sweet and perfect.
Eddie finally rolls over beside her, onto his back, staring sightlessly at the ceiling while his hands clench and unclench at his sides. Hen grabs one, squeezes. His swallow is audible in the empty room. “How did you know? That you wouldn’t?”
The kiss had ended because the both of them were smiling too much to keep going. “Took you long enough,” Karen said, and scooped the last of the friand into her mouth. Hen chased the taste of it, even while the kiss was just pressing their grins together, Karen’s earrings gleaming in the afternoon light.
“Because she was my best friend,” and still the memory makes her stomach butterfly with happiness, “and I knew she’d forgive me for it if she didn’t feel the same way.” She looks down, nudges her knee against Eddie’s elbow. “Somehow I don’t think you’ll have that problem.”
Eddie scoffs, jostles her right back. “You’re kind of mean.”
“I know.”
“Does your wife?”
“Oh, she loves it.”
His nose wrinkles. “Gross.”
“Uh huh.” There’s a knock at the bunk room door; Buck pokes his head and shoulders inside, managing to look unthreateningly small despite his—well, everything.
“Hey, um, dinner’s up.” His eyes flit over Eddie, then Hen, then Eddie again. “I can save you a plate, though. Um—both of you.”
“We’ll be up in a minute,” Hen promises, nodding encouragingly at Buck, who hesitates in the doorway for another five seconds before backing up, that little hop-skip he does when he’s happy or nervous or both. When Hen’s sure he’s gone she looks back down at Eddie, who’s draped an arm over his eyes like some swooning Victorian.
Hen pinches it. Eddie jerks, sits up.
“You’re as stupid as each other,” she informs him. “Just—talk to him, Eddie. He won’t run away.”
“I might.” The words seem to punch out of him: he presses his lips together, stares down at his hands.
“Maybe.” Hen shrugs. “He’ll run after you.”
“Yeah.” Eddie’s laugh sounds a little wet, and he sniffs, rubbing at his nose. “He does that.” As if the words give him strength he stands in one sudden motion, sniffing deeply again before cracking his neck one way, then the other. “You coming?”
“In a minute.” She watches him go; slides the phone from her pocket and hits call.
“I love you.”
Karen’s voice is soft and amused when she says, “okay?” like it’s a question—as if Hen’s never been anything but certain about the way she feels.
“I just—didn’t say it before. And I wanted to now.”
“Hm.” The sound echoes slightly, like Karen’s put her on speaker. Hen can picture it: Karen folding the washing, maybe, or reordering their bookshelf like she does every other week. “Can I get an ETA on that kiss?”
“Still five hours, babe.”
“You better make it a good one, then.” As if they aren’t all good—as if every time she kisses Karen doesn’t still feel like that first time.
“It’s always good with you.”
Hen can see the way Karen smiles at that; pictures her, in the sun, in those silly heart-shaped sunglasses, skin warm to the touch. “Yeah,” she says, the word a punctuation mark, like it’s a given. The perfect fold of Hen’s uniform shirt, added to the top of the ironing pile. “It is.”
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midnightstar-90 · 2 months ago
Masterlist | Taglist | Request
Eddie Diaz x Daughter! Reader | Evan Buckley x Reader
Summary: Y/N cries on Buck's shoulder, after hearing her father was shot.
Warning: slight dad! buck, angst, feelings of disappointment.
A/N: This was as hard to write as it was to watch.
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Y/N sneaks back into her house, after going to see an R-rated movie with her friends. Her father told her many times that she wasn't allowed to go to the movie, but Y/N didn't care. So far, sneaking out to see a movie is the most she ever disrespected her dad's wishes.
She took her headphones out of her ears, and she silently but quickly opened her bedroom window. Quiet not to disturb the household from their slumber, she climbs in through the window. She tiptoes over to her dresser and grabs pajamas from her drawer.
All of a sudden, a bright light blinds Y/N's vision. She turns around, scared, to see her father. He didn't look angry. No... he looked disappointed. Y/N pursed her lips at the look her father was giving her.
"If your gonna sneak out, don't do it when your ex-military father is home," Eddie told his daughter.
"Dad, I can expla-" Y/N couldn't finish her sentence before her father put a hand up. That was his way of saying "I don't want to hear it".
"What if I wasn't home? What if I went out, and something happened to Christopher?" I looked down, disappointed in my actions. I didn't think about that.
"This was the first time I've ever said "no". And just this once, you couldn't do as I say?" Eddie's voice started to get loud, but not too loud.
"I get it. I totally understand how you feel. I was your age once, and my parents were a lot stricter than I am. I'm just disappointed in the fact that I let you do your own thing, but when I ask for something, you can't obey." Eddie said, walking closer to his daughter.
"I'm sorry, dad. I won't do it again." Y/N still didn't look up at him.
"I know you won't," Eddie says, kissing Y/N's head. "Now, I have work in a couple of hours. But before I go... I'm gonna need that phone, Missy."
Y/N grabs her phone off the dresser and hands it to her father. She looks her father in the eye, but both of their hands are on the phone. They both could see the sadness in each other's eyes. Y/N gives her father a tight hug before mumbling a "thank you" and "goodnight".
Eddie walks out the door, heading back to his room. She's just how I raised her. This was just a hiccup that won't happen again. Eddie thought as he got back into his bed.
~The Next Day~
Christopher and I were in his room, playing his game. We heard footsteps, so we looked up. Buck, my father's co-worker/best friend stood in Christopher's doorway. He looked sad.
"Hey Buck," Chris looked up at Buck, then back at his game.
I gave Buck a smirk before saying, "Hey hot stuff. What's wrong? You look sad." I lightly chuckled, but Buck's face stayed the same. My smirk left, knowing something was up.
When I met Buck, I developed a crush on him. (You know teenage hormones.) Because I was 16, Buck and I could never be together. So, we made a joke out of it. I would flirt, and he would politely deny me, saying things like "I was too young for him" and "There are better fish in the sea". When Buck didn't joke back, laugh, or even smile, I knew something was up.
Buck walked towards us. He crouched down on the floor between us. You could see the tears build up in his eyes as he looked at us.
"Where's dad?" Christopher asked. He put down his game, as he waited on an answer.
Buck knew how close we were with our dad. And he knew that whatever he's gonna tell us, was gonna break us. Buck took a deep breath.
"Um... He's not coming home tonight, Chris." That was enough for me to break down in tears. The last time I saw my dad, he had given me a disappointing look. I didn't do the one thing he asked, and now something bad has happened to him.
"Why not?" Chris asked Buck.
"W-w-well, he got hurt at work today."
I silently listened to the firefighter explain to my brother why my father isn't home.
"In a fire?"
Chris is so innocent. It's so hard to explain to a 10-year-old boy that his father was severely hurt, and he might not make it through the night.
Buck got up from his crouching position, and he sat between us.
"N-no, not in a fire. The truth is... someone hurt your dad."
"On purpose?" Buck noticed how quiet I was. He looked at me. I couldn't even look at him. I looked all around Christopher's room before hearing Buck speak again.
"Yeah, I think so" Buck nodded.
"Like a bad guy?" I shook my head at what I was hearing.
I knew what Buck was trying to tell us. Kids at my school know a lot from just looking at their phones. I got looks all day. I didn't know why... because I was grounded. But hearing Buck talk about it, I could now stick the pieces together.
I finally looked at Buck to see tears run down his eyes. I'd never seen Buck cry before. I had only seen the tough Buck that would run into any danger just to save any living thing. Buck and my father are my heroes, and seeing your heroes fall is not easy.
"Will he be okay?" Chris asked, looking at Buck.
"You know, your dad is uh- he's tough as nails... He's a fighter. Right? So, he's with the doctors now."
I couldn't hear anymore. I stood up from the bed, and I walked out of Chris's room and into mine. I walked in to see the family photo of mom, dad, Christopher, and I when dad came back from the military. I cried hard. He isn't just a hero to this country. He's my hero, and the last thing we talked about was how I disappointed him.
I heard a knock on the door. Buck had a sad smile on his face as he joined me on my bed. I pulled Buck into a tight hug, and we cried into each other's shoulders. After about 5 minutes in the hug, we pulled away, still sobbing.
"I'm a terrible daughter," I told Buck.
He looked me in my eyes, shocked at my statement.
"D-d-don't say that. You are not a terrible daughter," Buck said.
"Yes, I am! The last conversation my father and I had was about how I disappoint him by sneaking out! Now, I don't even know if I will ever see him again," I say as I look down at my hands.
Buck grabs my hands and says, "Don't say that. I've had many near-death experiences. Your father has also had many near-death experiences. He's strong. He will make it out. And to say you were a horrible daughter for sneaking out is incorrect. You are the most caring, beautiful, and smartest girl I know, but you are also a teenager. You and your dad won't always agree, and that's okay. Trust me when I say, I was a lot worse than you as a teenager."
We laughed together as the tears ran down our faces. Buck pulled me into his chest. The hug made me feel safe. It felt like the one's my dad would give me before and after work. He kissed my forehead, just as my dad did last night before going to bed. He cradled my head, and I could feel his tears hit my head, but I didn't complain.
"If my dad makes it, I will never disappoint him again. You guys are my heroes. I don't want my heroes to be disappointed or hurt, because that is the worst time to see your heroes," I said, smiling at Buck before looking back down.
"You are a good daughter. And, you're an amazing sister. I love you as if you were my own." I chuckled, still looking down at my feet.
Buck got up to leave, but I grabbed his arm. He looked back at me with his sad eyes.
"Please, can you stay?" I asked the firefighter. He looked unsure. "At least until I fall asleep. My dad did it when I had a bad or stressful day," I finish.
Buck smiled, "Yeah. Sure." We laid down in my bed. He held me in a fatherly embrace, and I fell asleep. The last thing I heard was, "Eddie was never truly disappointed with you."
Taglist: @mrspeacem1nusone @notanordinaryprincess95 @jjpogueprincess @wiypt-writes
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shelby-love · 9 months ago
Tips and Tricks
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Requested: yes [x]
Prompts: none [my prompt list]
Warning(s): angst in the beginning, ends very adorably
Word count: 2.6k
Author's note: Eddie my man! Hopefully you guys will like it! 
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"9-1-1, what's your emergency?"
"It's you…"
"Y/N what happened? Why are you calling 9-1-1?"
"Because I need you..."
She sighed, preparing herself to hear a teasing remark on her account. "What happened?"
You didn't know what to tell her because you didn't know what happened. One minute, you were sitting on the train, listening to music while gazing out to the city of Los Angeles when another, you had been thrown out of your seat and all hell broke loose. Your head was buzzing, and you had no feeling in your body save for your bloody fingers with which you had typed in 911.
Back at the call center, Maddie turned her head ever so slightly and saw that several dispatchers had huddled in front of the TV, looking pale and shaky as they saw what had happened only minutes ago.
Mentally, they were all preparing themselves to receive calls from all sides. Some a dead end and other simply full of pain and anxiety. Maddie had received one without even realizing - from her sister of all people.
"Y/N are you on the train?"
Tears gathered in your eyes, "I was late for work…"
Realization washed over your sister's face, "Where are you hurt?"
"Everywhere," you croaked out, glancing at your broken leg from which scarlet blood seemed so flow out without a mean to stop. You laid weirdly on your back and hip, holding a bloody palm to the gash and controlling your cracked phone with the other. Having heard the sadness in her voice brought out an onset of tears, though the real cause of them were the bodies sprawled all around you. Some didn't move, but other twitched ever so slightly. "I-"
"Y/N?" Maddie whispered, sobs threatening to shake her body. "Where does it hurt?"
And that's when you lost the battle of consciousness and the line went dead.
Maddie cried right after.
Through the whole ride Evan kept tapping his foot against the floor of the vehicle, constantly doing something with his body in a nervous fidget like matter.
"What's up with him?" Asked Eddie, stealing a glance at his friend who looked like he could snap at any minute.
"His sister's in there," replied Hen, feeling as anxious as Buck.
She shook her head, "Y/N."
"How come I never met her?" Eddie wondered out loud, remembering all the times he and Maddie had encountered before.
"She just moved here," she explained, brushing a rogue tear with the side of her index finger, sniffling. "Buck was late for work so she couldn't catch a ride."
"And so, she took the train…"
Hen nodded, "Look after him, okay?"
"Cap I can't get through to her!" His voice was distant, but so full of worry. You couldn't bare to open your eyes no matter how much you wanted.
"I'm tired…"
You couldn't see it, but his eyes widened in alarm, "No, no, no, no! Y/N stay awake!"
"So tired…"
"Cap I need the jaws now!"
"There's no time!" A voice interrupted; one you didn't recognize. "I can get her out. I'm closer to her."
"I don't think-"
"She'll lose her leg otherwise."
No one said anything for a while, your rigid breathing being the only sound that followed the metallic thuds of the crooked train. "Hi Y/N. Didn't know Buck had a sister."
You opened your eyes to look at a man you never saw in your life, "Who are you?"
A brow lifted at your words, "I see he didn't tell you much about me."
"He didn't tell me anything," you mumbled quietly, wincing when you felt the firefighter plot around your leg. He was devilishly handsome, and incredibly strong too. The seat that had infiltrated your leg was pushed away with raw strength you didn't have.
"Well, I'm Eddie," he continued, his dark eyes glancing at you, "I'll get you out in no time. Can you keep your eyes open for me?"
For him I'd do anything, you thought.
"I'm here too you know?"
Unshed tears escaped at the sound of your brother's voice, "Buck?"
"I'm here Y/N," he reassured you. "I'm right here."
You blacked out after that, only this time you weren't alone.
You had made quite the ordeal in order to get to Station 118. Having been dropped off by Maddie on her way to work, you had a plan and agenda to fulfill. Only you didn't realize how many stairs it would take for it to be done.
The whole station seemed empty as you looked around, save for a few buzzing staff that had politely informed you of your brother's absence even though you realized that by just seeing the missing fire trucks. Instead of sending you off they directed you upstairs with their extended arms as if you'd have no problem in getting there. Perhaps they didn't see the cast.
You stopped in your tracks and narrowed your eyes at the space. "Who said that?"
A childlike giggle entered your ears, sending cheerful echoes throughout the empty station. Your eyes swept across the railing until they fell on a small boy that was leaning against it, watching you struggle up the stairs. Noticing a pair of crutches next to his body had your face twist in confusion, "How did you get up there?"
"My dad helped me," he stated proudly.
"Who's your dad?" You wondered, continuing to trek up toward him.
"My…dad," he replied, undertone of confusion behind the words.
You chuckled, jumping on the next step with your healthy leg. "I mean… What's his name?"
By the time the question left your mouth, you were officially on the top. "Edmundo, but his friends call him Eddie."
Nodding in understatement, you continued to walk toward the couch, gripping your crutches until your upper body started to hurt horribly. "Yeah, well…My brother's name is Evan, but everyone calls him Buck."
The boy's face lit up, "Buck is your brother?"
"I'm sorry too."
His laugh was so innocent and carefree it deleted all the week's tragedies from your mind, allowing you to mimic it with the same joy. You hadn't smiled in days.
It felt good to smile.
You watched as he took his own crutches, and with incredible speed marched to the couch to join you. "Wow. You're fast. What's your name?"
"Well Christopher," you started, on instinct leaning toward the armchair to grab the crutches he handed to you and place them next to your much bigger ones. "Are you by any chance named after saint Christopher?"
The boy nodded eagerly, "I am. What's your name?"
"It's prettier than Buck's." Christopher said, a massive bubble of laughter escaping his lips right after.
You laughed with him, ignoring the slight throbbing in your chest the actions gave you. "Tell me Christopher…Do you have any funny stories about Buck?"
Christopher was more of a helper than you were.
He was quick on his supports, and far more active on them than you were.
The angel was curious and polite, and he kept you busy while you waited for the firefighters to come back.
"They're here!" Said Christopher, reaching for his crutches immediately. "Dad! Buck!"
You giggled at the boy, watching him fight balance on his crutches, his excitement overpowering. A glance at your useless leg had your face falling into a frown.
"Buck, your sister is here!" The boy yelled from where he stood, tipping his head over the railing to look down on the firefighters.
You rolled your eyes dramatically when Christopher turned to look at you, laughing like a mad man.
"Chris be careful!"
You dared yourself to say that your heart jumped a little at his voice. Too sad to even let your siblings visit you, the man to whom you owe your life didn't even see you since the crash. The only way he could learn about your condition was through your brother.
That is, if he even wondered how you were.
"Have you heard from your sister?" Asked Eddie after he made himself comfortable in the truck. "How's she doing?"
Buck gave him an odd look, "Why?"
Eddie rolled his eyes, "The last I remember her life was on the line. I just wanna know how she's doing."
"That's all?" Your brother asked, looking at his friend as if he was lying.
"What's more to it?"
"I don't know," Buck admitted, regret jumping into his body at the question. He shouldn't have listened to Hen; she said something along the lines of love at first sight. Maybe Eddie was invested into your condition because you were purely his best friend's sister.
"How is she Buck?"
"Oh, right," he laughed, forgetting what he had been asked in the first place. "She's fine. Her leg is in a cast, but I don't think she's there yet if you know what I mean?"
"Trauma," Eddie agreed with a cool nod, remembering the state they had found you in.
"Yeah," Buck mumbled, "She won't talk to us."
"Give her some time."  
Your brother nodded lightly, shoulders slumping at the thought of you and what you went through because he couldn't give you a ride.
"She's going to be fine Buck."
Eddie believed his words wholeheartedly, despite having never officially met you. There was something in your eyes that made him so sure in himself. That made Eddie feel like he had known you for years.
Maybe Hen was right after all.
"No Buck! Y/N's here!"
You watched as your brother ran up the stairs with ease, feeling jealousy creep into your veins. Moving your crutches out of the way, you allowed his muscular body to leap into your arms on the couch.
"What are you doing here?" Buck asked you, pulling away and sitting on the edge of the coffee table.
"I thought I'd surprise you," You said with a smile, your words sounding light and cheerful for the first time in weeks.
"You look…" He started.
"I was going to say happy," Buck laughed.
"That's because of him," you pointed to Christopher who was currently being spung around in his father's arms, giggling all over.
"He tends to have that effect on people."
"He's just so," you found yourself struggling for words. "Innocent."
Smiling, Buck swooped in and kissed your cheek swiftly. You swatted him away with your hand when he pressed his knuckles against your cast in a knock-knock matter. He disappeared into the kitchen right after.
"Bobby's going to make sandwiches," Christopher tells you smiling, making you turn your head to look at him. He held his crutches tightly while looking back and forth between the kitchen and you, his handsome father right behind him. "You want some?"
You pretended to think for a moment before a matching smile drew on your face, "You think he'll make me some?"
"He has to!" The boy exclaimed, "He's Bobby!"
Christopher was gone by the time he finished his sentence, leaving both you and Eddie laughing after him.
It died down after a while, your laughter, and not knowing what to do and how to react you did what you would've done if your brother decided to stick around.
You moved your leg off the pillows Christopher had helped you stack underneath. "Oh, no you don't have to."
He wasn't quick, "It's too late now."
You patted the free space next to you.
"Let's give them some space to talk," Hen could be heard behind you. Both you and Eddie furrowed your brows, tilting your heads until you had a clear view into who was behind you.
"No buts Buck let's go." She dragged a whiny Buck from the table, away from both of you with a smirk that could reach the sky if physically possible.
Eddie sat down next to you, eyes more focused on your face than your leg. You were appreciative, to say the least. The only side effect was your red neck and the heat that threatened to invade your cheeks.
You placed your hand on your mouth, ignoring the fact that both of you spoke at the same time the best in your ability.
Eddie chuckled, watching you carefully from the corner of his eye. "So… How are you feeling?"
His attractive features were what made you forget about the fact that he was your firefighter savior. "Good."
You stole a glance at Christopher, "I'll be great when I master crutches."
He listened to you, smiling when you continued to praise his boy, "He's a great kid. You're doing a great job with him."
Eddie smiled in gratitude, "Thanks."
"He told me about your wife," you mentioned quietly. "I'm sorry."
You watched as he brushed it off, almost as if it were a casual thing. You both knew it wasn't. "He's been giving tips?"
"Oh yes," you replied dramatically, "Loads of tips… And tricks."
The two of you continued to converse lightly, finding loads of subjects to talk about while waiting for the food. Christopher's name was mentioned quite a lot, and Eddie loved the fact that his son had left such an impression on you.
He found quite a lot of himself in you too, and after a while he realized that Buck had been keeping you from meeting him for that exact reason.
"Dad, Y/N food's ready!" Christopher voiced from the kitchen, eyes wide with admiration for the food Bobby decided to cook up.
Eddie clasped his hands against his thighs, standing up energetically and extending his hands toward you. "You're not serious right?"
He chuckled, making grabby hands. "It's not like I do it every day."
"Yeah but," you fought, "He's your 8-year-old son. I'm a grown woman!"
"You're younger than Buck."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
From the kitchen, Hen and Buck watched you carefully. "They're perfect."
Buck's eyes narrowed, "Wha—? How?"
Chimney chuckled beside him, slapping his back teasingly. "You'll see."
Christopher soon occupied the older Buckley, and while your brother wasn't looking, Chimney and Hen exchanged glances.
"I want to change my bet." Chimney mouthed.
Hen shook her head as a no in return.
You allowed Eddie to grab your hands and raise you up from the couch. He was incredibly careful, you noted, acting as if you were the most precious thing on earth.
Your heart skipped a beat.
"You ready?" Eddie asked, sounding excited.
You felt dread consume you, "One…Two…Three."
Yelping, you prepared yourself for pain but found yourself against something else entirely. Looking up, your eyes widened upon meeting a dark brown pair. Eddie's cologne was still very much present on his body despite having just returned from an hour long call.
That's how close you were.
"Just a heads up," You whispered, daring yourself to not glance at his lips. "The cast is very heavy."
"I do lifts," he informed you, his voice a mere whisper too. "I think I'll manage."
And he did, manage.
Leaning down, he placed an arm under your thighs, and the other one behind your back, scooping you up into an easy princess-carry.
Carrying you to the table wasn't hard either, though you dreaded moving while Eddie walked with you in his arms in the fear of brushing against him in a way that would flush you in embarrassment. Placing you in a chair he pulled out with his own foot, Eddie's hand stayed on your back a moment longer than it was originally supposed to.
The lack of his body against yours had you feeling rather cold.
"See Y/N? My dad's so strong he can carry you too!"
"Hey! What about me?"
"Not everything is about you Buckaroo."
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Note: If you enjoyed reading this fic do check out my other work by clicking on one of my masterlist links. If it’s not a bother leave a like, comment and/or reblog. It gives me motivation and lets me know that you liked what I wrote. <3
If you would perhaps want to read some of my work earlier, you can check out my AO3 profile, I’ll always make sure to tell you guys when a fic is posted on there in advance!
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✭ GENERAL (all WIPs):
@fofisstilinski​ @short-potato​ @miranda0102​  @httphiddlestan​ @caromichaela​ @xx-missunicorn-xx​ @jemmakates​ @theravenclawmarauder​ @tclaerh​ @chefdoeuvre​ @just-arather-veryconfused-being @crazy0lu​ @thirstykpophoe​ @abimoon @sofiasamps @princxss-fia @theletterhart​ @nocturnalherb16​​​ @sj-thefan​​ @bittytish​
✭ 9-1-1: 
My love for Christopher is infinite!
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nurse-buckley · 2 months ago
Reader Insert Week Day 3
Fandom: 9-1-1 Word Count: 1,553 Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader Warnings: Smut Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz, @fireladybuckley, @winterreader-nowwriter, @dayrin085, @spnheartfic, @alexandrianicolegrey-oc, @mrspeacem1nusone, @park-it-here-bitches, @iamasimpingh0e (want to be added to my tagslsit? Just send me a message!) Prompt: smut “Look at me when you cum.” Written for day three of @911readerinsertweek​ Thank you to @thatnerdemryn​ and @firemedicdiaz​ for your help with this fic <3 
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You and Buck had been out at a family member's wedding. You weren’t particularly happy, the relative being distant and having to spend one of your only weekends off work there rather than with Buck at home. The only saving grace was your plus one, Buck, and the fact that you both had a room at the very fancy hotel the wedding venue was attached to. 
The ceremony ran smoothly and you both enjoyed the free food and drink. When the pair of you had your fill of socialising, you managed to slip free of the celebrations, picking the hotel key card up on the way to your room. You snuck out with Buck, both a little tipsy and both giggling as you snuck past your family members towards the elevators. 
The first thing you did when you entered the room was take off the heels you’d been wearing all day, sighing a breath of relief as you massaged each foot. You watch as Buck does the same, slipping off his dress shoes, followed by his blazer and tie, popping a few buttons to make himself more comfortable. 
“Here, let me,” Buck offers. You nod in permission, turning so your back was to him. He gently begins taking out each grip and pin from your hair, setting them down on the vanity, letting down your tousled hair. 
You sigh in relief as the tension on your head from the tight updo is released, “God that’s so much better,” you breathe out. Buck seems to take the hint, gently massaging your head. You let out a moan as you feel his hands drift lower, massaging at your neck and shoulders, his hands seeming to find each knot and expertly working the tension from your shoulders. You feel his hands move from your shoulders to the back of your dress as he reaches for your zipper. He gently, almost teasingly pulls it down, releasing you from the garment. 
You step out of the elegant black dress, turning to face him as he begins to fiddle with his cufflinks. You place your hands over his, echoing his words from earlier as your fingers gently caress his wrist, “here, let me.” 
Buck nods wordlessly, eyeing you hungrily as you take your time, as he did, slowly unbuttoning and freeing him from his shirt. Spurred on by seeing you in nothing more than your underwear, he unbuckles his belt, stepping out of his trousers. You rest your hands on the smooth planes of his pecs, rubbing your thumbs back and forth against his warm, soft skin. You lean forward placing a kiss on his chest and feel as he reaches behind you, skilfully unclasping your strapless bra; tossing it across the room to join the rest of your clothing. 
Buck kisses back, his mouth moving delicately against yours at first, earning a moan from you. He takes the opportunity to slip his tongue between your parted lips, revelling in the taste. You fist one of your hands in his hair, the other round the back of his neck,  holding him close to you. 
“Buck…” you breathe. The pair of you back up against the foot of the bed, Buck pushing you the rest of the way, his hands roaming down the curves of your body, bringing them to rest against your hips. 
The firefighter stares up at you with adoration, “you’re so perfect,” he whispers. “So fucking beautiful.” He can’t help himself as he pulls you closer to him, moving his head to take one of your nipples into his mouth. He skilfully licks and sucks, applying just the right amount of pressure, until you’re breathless, your chest heaving.  
He moves to the other, grazing his teeth over the sensitive spot, his other hand massaging your free breast, his thumb rubbing gentle circles, teasing and pinching. He can tell just how worked up he has you as he splays his hand across your chest, pausing for a moment as he feels your heart pounding fiercely against his palm. 
“Someone’s excited. Got you all worked up, haven’t I?” 
Not wanting to be outdone or have Buck miss out on the attention, you slip out from beneath him, feeling a wave of confidence come over you as you push him back on the bed. Buck, however,  is having none of it, rolling you over with ease so he’s on top, he flashes you a teasing smile, “I don’t think so sweetheart, tonight's all about you.” 
He leans down, placing a kiss to your lips, your neck, moving lower as he kisses between your breasts, dipping his tongue into your navel as he passes it the further south he moves. As he moves further down, he spreads your thighs apart, positioning himself between them. You grab a fistful of his curls, guiding him to the sensitive spot between your legs. 
“Please…” you moan. 
The sight of Buck between your legs has you completely undone as you lift your hips further up to meet him. He places a firm hand on your abdomen, pushing you down. “I don’t think so sweetheart. I want to take my time with this.” 
Content with going slowly, loving the sight of you writhing beneath him, Buck slowly strokes the sides of your waist, his strong, calloused fingers rubbing soothing circles as he drags them across your stomach and back down to your thighs. 
The firefighter lowers his lips, his hot breath teasing your entrance as he presses a thumb between your outer folds. You hear him hum, no doubt as he feels the slickness there, knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. You feel one of his hands move from your thigh, using his thumb and index finger to spread your entrance. You feel him sigh, causing a shiver of anticipation run through you. You’re still unprepared as his tongue makes direct contact with your clit, causing you to jump as a jolt of electricity runs through you, Buck holds you firmly against the bed, however. 
“You’re loving this aren’t you?” he whispers in a low growl.  “Look at me when you cum.”
A moan is the only reply he gets from you, your eyes closed as you revel in the pure bliss he’s bringing you. 
You open your eyes at the endearment. “I want you to look at me when you cum,” he asks again, more demandingly.
You open your eyes, meeting his, the lust in his eyes only fueling the overwhelming feeling building inside you. With your eyes on his, he begins to tease your clit with the tip of his tongue; using light pressure, flicking before he moves to more forceful licks, occasionally sucking at the nub. He could feel your pulse quickening where his fingers pressed into your thigh, your femoral artery bounding against his touch. 
You cry out his name once more, but one quick look at Buck shows that he isn’t letting you get off that easily. He sits back, pulling off his boxers, revealing his stiff cock, already aroused just from getting you off. 
With the loss of contact, your need for him only grows, and seeing his cock causes a new hunger to rise within you. As soon as he’s back between your legs, you grip his hips tight enough that you’re sure there’ll be bruises in the morning and pull him towards you. He doesn’t seem to mind, responding with a moan of his own. 
“You ready for me sweetheart?” he asks, not that he needs to at the sight of you. 
“God, yes.” 
With that, Buck lines himself up, going slow as he gently slides into you. He allows you a moment to adjust to his size before he begins teasingly thrusting into you, building up the speed and depth gradually. 
“No,” you whine as the intensity of his first thrust, wanting, no, needing more from him, “Please, Buck” you practically beg. 
“I love you so fucking much, sweetheart,” a grin spreads across Buck’s face as he leans in. The kiss is gentle at first before it turns more aggressive, his thrusts matching as he begins to pound into you. You can feel the familiar tingling sensation spread through your lower body, your thighs quivering, your walls clenching against him as Buck easily brings you to the edge again. 
“So close…” you whimper in response. 
“I know, baby girl,” he replies, his grunts growing louder as you both draw nearer to the edge. 
A few more thrusts and the pair of you can’t contain it any longer, your orgasms almost in sync as you moan Buck’s name loudly into the quiet room causing Buck to respond with a grunt of his own.  
Buck pulls out carefully, discarding the spent condom before laying down next to you. The pair of you are a panting mess as you lay side by side. 
“God...that was....” you let out a giddy laugh. 
“Yeah…” is the only response you get as you both take a few moments longer to catch your breath. 
Buck smiles, leaning across, placing a gentle kiss to the top of your head and pulling you into his chest. He pulls up the blanket from the foot of the bed, covering the pair of you, content to drift off in each other's arms after the eventful night. 
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starlightbuckleys · 16 days ago
your little hand's wrapped around my finger (it's so quiet in the world tonight)
summary: their family didn't come easy, but nothing worth having ever did.
(or 1.7k of soft baby girl dads!buddie)
tags: @moonlightbuckleys @oceansdiaz @no-moremusic @treacherousdiaz (let me know if you want to be added/removed from the taglist!)
[also available on ao3]
eddie yawns softly, scratching the back of his head with his free hand as he balances the holder containing the sought after coffee in his other hand. the hospital is a different kind of quiet at 3am, the kind where the world just seems softer, more gentle. stepping into the elevator as the door slides open, eddie can’t help but bask in the stillness of the air around him, the tranquility as he sighs, tapping his foot anxiously as he watches the numbers on the elevator creep slowly up and up. the door lets out a ding and slides back open, eddie blinking heavily as he steps out into the cool air of the hospital corridor. bringing a fist up to rub at his eyes, he ambles down the corridor, the lilting tone of his husband murmuring sweetly guiding him.
pausing in the doorway of the room, eddie has to take a breath. he’s seen many sides of buck over the course of the time they’ve been together. he’s seen his protective side, shoving eddie out of the way in burning buildings and even carrying him last year when he broke his ankle (which was extremely mortifying but also very attractive?). he’s seen his nurturing side, in the way he patiently helps chris with his homework and takes him to physical therapy and builds a million and one lego towers with him just to let chris knock each and every one down. he’s seen his vulnerable side, held him while he’s cried over his parents and his childhood, reassured him that he’s nothing like they ever were to him. eddie thought he’d seen every side of buck, but clearly there was one he’d been missing out on.
he’s enthralled by the beauty of it all. buck’s shirtless, the moonlight dampened by the clouds streaking into the room and giving everything an ethereal glow. he’s pacing around, humming softly, and in his hands, in those big, gentle, loving hands of his, lies their daughter. their daughter. eddie’s still struggling to wrap his head around it, that this beautiful creation. this- this angel is theirs. and sure, eddie has loved chris his entire life, loves him with his whole being and more. but he couldn’t deny that seeing buck hold their daughter to his broad chest, cradling her so delicately made his heart sing. eddie’s about to step into the room, make his presence known, when he hears buck murmuring oh so sweetly to their little girl as she gurgles, and eddie strains to hear what buck’s saying.
“hi, my angel,” he begins, soothing a hand over the back of her head. “i- i’m your dad.” he whispers, like it’s a secret he can’t quite believe he gets to tell. “i’ve only known you for a few hours now, but i already love you more than i thought was possible. more than the moon loves the stars, more than your papa loves a beer on a sunday night - don’t tell him i told you that!” he chuckles quietly, pacing over to the window, looking out at the sky as he continues. “you know, your papa and i- we weren’t always…us. it took us a long while to get here, longer than it should’ve, to be honest, and we wasted so much time.” he sighs wistfully at that, remembering the beginnings of their burgeoning relationship after one too many close calls on the job. he turns and looks down at the beautiful baby in his arms, rocking her a little from side to side as she begins to fuss.
“once we got ourselves together, i have to tell you, angel, it was as easy as breathing. your big brother chris, he really bonded us, you know? i don’t know what we’d do without him, to be honest.” he laughs quietly at that, sitting in the rocking chair next to the window, swaying them backwards and forwards as he cuddles his daughter even closer, pressing his lips to her soft, fine hair. “when you meet chris, you’ll understand. he loves so fiercely, and i just know he’ll protect you with everything he has, just like me and just like your pa. when we found out we were going to meet you today, i started crying, because i was so so happy.” he clears his throat a little, and eddie swears he hears a crack in buck’s voice as he continues. “you are so, so loved by so many people, my love, and you have no idea yet. but,” and eddie definitely doesn’t miss the unmistakeable sheen of tears rolling down buck’s cheek this time, “i am going to spend the rest of my life showing you just how loved you are, baby girl. your pa and i love you endlessly and we always will.”
at this, eddie moved into the room quietly, placing the now lukewarm coffees onto the small side table quietly as he approached them. leaning slowly over the back of the chair, dusting a feather light touch over his husband’s shoulder so as to avoid startling him. buck inhales shakily, turning his head to the side with a wobbly smile on his lips. “hey you.” he whispers quietly, closing his eyes as eddie presses a comforting kiss to his cheek. “how much of that did you hear?”
eddie simply shrugs, reaching over to curl a small strand of her hair around his fingertips. “she’s going to be the most spoilt little girl in the entire world, that’s for sure.”
buck laughs quietly, the sound warming eddie from head to toe as their little girl stirs, her tiny hands curled up in fists against buck’s chest as she begins to whine. making a concerned noise, eddie steps around the chair, holding his hands out to buck. “here, give her to papa.”
snorting a little, buck stands carefully, placing his most delicate gift gently into eddie’s hands and oh eddie had forgotten how light babies were. he was suddenly terrified of dropping her, and buck must’ve seen something on his face because next thing eddie knew, he was being guided to sit in the chair buck had just vacated, his daughter using her small hands to cling to his shirt. he began to rock the chair back and forth as he hummed quietly to her, rubbing a hand delicately over her back as he began to talk.
“your dad’s not wrong, you know. we took so long to get here, longer than most i think. and now that we’re here, it’s almost unbelievable. some days, i feel like i’m going to wake up and it’s all going to be some big, elaborate dream i’ve been having.” eddie smiles softly at the feeling of buck’s hand landing in his hair, a soothing touch, an encouragement. “but every time i feel myself beginning to fall back into that spiral, your dad is there to pull me back out. always has been, even when i didn’t know i needed it.” eddie feels himself begin to get teary at that and he swears he hears buck clear his throat yet again. his baby girls spreads her fingers against his chest like she’s trying to feel his heart beat, and he swears his heart swells in size just to allow her to get close. grinning to himself, he lifts her hand with a finger, tears finally beginning to fall as her gentle fingers clasp around his digit, sealing the bond between them for life. eddie’s voice wavers as he continues, feeling buck’s arms drape over his shoulders.
“but your dad is so right. we both love you more than you could ever know, and we’re going to make sure you feel it every single day. your brother chris, too. you two are going to get along so well, and he is going to love you and your dad loves you and i-“ eddie’s voice cracks, more tears streaking down his face. “i love you, little bean, with everything i can possibly give.”
it’s later, when baby girl buckley-diaz is all swaddled up in her crib at home, that buck finally says. “you know, years ago, just after you joined the station, there was a call that stuck with me.”
eddie twists his head from where he’s sat between buck’s legs, playing with the silver wedding band on his husband’s finger. “oh? which one?”
“do you remember that old couple, always out doing activities together? one of them got struck by a car and the other died on his husband’s chest?”
“oh yeah! i remember!” a pause, and then, “what about it?”
“well, before he passed away, thomas said something to me, and it always stuck.” eddie twists fully around at this, kneeling between buck’s knees.
“what was it?”
“he- he said that him and his husband, they only ever wanted to die together, in each other's arms. at the time, everything with abby was still really fresh, and i mentioned to him that i could only ever hope to find a love like that.”
a pause, and then, “what did he say?”
buck smiled, his eye glinting as he recalled the day everything changed for him. “he told me, ‘you don’t find it son, you make it.’” he wraps his arms around eddie’s back, staring at him like it was the first time all over again. “that’s what we’ve done, eds. we’ve made it. our little family. we made a love that neither of us thought we were going to find again, and we’ve made a family from fragments of others and i couldn’t ask for anything else.”
eddie smiles that wide, beautiful smile at buck and he swears he feels like he’s falling in love all over again. “have i ever told you how much i love you?”
buck shrugged, a blush rising on his cheeks. “i wouldn’t be opposed to hearing it again.”
“i love you, evan. from now until forever.”
“from now until forever.” buck agreed, bridging the gap to press a tender kiss to eddie’s lips.
their family didn’t come easy, but nothing worth having ever did.
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buckleyirondad · 6 months ago
At the hospital, Buck crumbles. His family catch him. 
4x14 Speculation 
Buck moves through the automatic doors leading into the emergency room.
Sure, his legs are working, but that doesn’t take much thought. The adrenaline is rushing through his veins, creeping up his spine, keeping him on his feet. The rest is muscle memory.
The medical staff didn’t pay him any thought as they whisked Eddie away, barking orders to one another.
Buck stops. He can’t see.
Everything is white. The lights are too bright.
He can’t hear. There’s nothing but tinnitus. Then, the ring of the bullet replays again, the sickening tear as it ripped through Eddie’s shoulder.
Buck closes his eyes, inhales a breath, digging his nails into his palm.
He can taste it.
Eddie’s blood.
The splatter had been almost cinematic, maybe even cliché, as it coated Buck’s face and shirt.
Straight out of a fucking action movie.
Blinding him, scaring him, make him face the situation straight on.
It isn’t fiction. Buck wishes it was.
But Eddie bled out. Eddie might die.
Buck retches.
His heart pounds, maybe he’s dying, but hey,  at least he would be closer to wherever Eddie’s mind has drifted.
He hears voices. He doesn’t have the energy to pull them apart, identify who is who.
They’re calling his name.
The floor beneath him gives away.
He’s falling.
Then impossibly, there’s hands, many sets of hands grabbing at his arms, his hips, his torso, his chest, guiding him onto his knees.
He strains his eyes, desperate to see. 
A face hovers in front of him.
It’s Bobby, down on his knees, hands firmly pressed around Buck’s shoulders. Panic swims in his mentor’s eyes, his lips are moving, but the words distort.
Buck shakes his head.
Voices start to become clear.
“—Shock,” That’s Hen, panic laced in her tone, “He’s in shock.”
“Buckaroo,” Chimney attempts a soothing voice, but the treble is clear, “Can you hear us?”
Buck can’t nod. He can’t move.
Hen speaks again, “Pulse is rapid.”
Athena’s voice joins the mix, her tone gentle, “Buck, baby,” Her hand rests on his knee, “We’re here.”
Bobby combs his hand through Buck’s hair, “Buck, you need to breathe.”
He’s holding his breath. He didn’t realize.
Buck inhales, and fuck, it hurts, it hurts like hell.
It’s harsh; he hates it and wants nothing more than to hold it again.
But he can’t.
Bobby rests his hand on the nape of Buck’s neck, “You got it, kid.”
“Bobby—” Buck manages, it’s small, broken, pitiful. He yearns, balling his hands around Bobby’s shirt, “Bobby—” He cries again, doubling over, facing falling between the groove of Bobby’s collarbone and neck.
“Hey, hey,” Bobby supports the sudden weight, “I’ve got you.”
Somebody presses a kiss in Buck’s hair. He knows it’s Athena.
Buck drops, twisting off his knees, practically collapsing into Bobby’s hold. He clings to him as a child would to a parent, and he isn’t ashamed. Not even for a moment.
Bobby never minds. He holds Buck like his own.
Buck sprawls his legs across the laminate floor, his breaths are shallow, and his gaze locks onto the feet of a plastic chair.
“Hang in there, kid,” Bobby chokes, trembling hand still traveling through Buck’s hair, “We’ve got you.”
Buck finds his voice, “Eddie—” He freaks, “Eddie.”
“He’s in good hands, Buck,” Chimney tells him, hand on his shoulder, “The best.”
“Froze,” Buck sobs, “Couldn’t move.”
Hen asks, “What?”
“Too quick,” He stammers, “I didn’t move.”
“We’re not doing that, Buckaroo,” Athena is gentle but stern, “Not your fault.”
Buck jerks, closing his eyes, aware of the blood on his hands, on his face, his shirt, and he wants out, “Blood.”
Then Athena speaks, “Okay, I’ll be back,” She knows what’s wrong; she always does; she’s on her feet, heading for the reception desk.
Buck settles in Bobby’s grasp, working on his breathing.
He can hear mummers from his family and the distant whispers of bystanders trying to piece together what might have happened.
“Buck,” Bobby breathes, “Do you think you can stand?”
“I—” Buck swallows - he doesn’t want to get up, “I can.”
Everybody’s hands are on him again as Bobby grips his forearms to lift him onto his feet. He sways, but Bobby’s got him, “Knew you could do it.”
Athena steps close, handheld out, “Come with me, Buckaroo,” She sung calmly, “Let’s get you cleaned up.”
Buck nods and then turns to Bobby, “Will—”
Bobby promises, “We’re gonna check up on Eddie, and then I’ll be right with you.”
“Thank you,” Buck takes Athena’s hand; despite the stained blood, she doesn’t even flinch as she locks her fingers around his.
Athena leads him down the corridor and into the elevator, never letting go of his hand.
Upon exit, a nurse meets with them, holding a towel and some clothes – “From lost and found,” She explains.
Buck didn’t catch her name; he only hears some of what is said.
The next door they go through leads into a shower room.
“Here we go,” Athena helps him to sit on a plastic chair that is in the corner of the room; it squeaks at the sudden weight; Athena mutters about something budge cuts before moving towards the sink.
Athena takes a cloth, running it under the faucet; she rings it out a little.
Buck deflates, slouching in the seat, his leg bouncing.
He feels like a kid. A sick one that needs caring for, the caregiver was usually Maddie, but sometimes Athena or Bobby. He’d welcome any one of them.
Athena gently traces the cloth of Buck’s face, but her chin trembles, eyes filling with tears.
The blood isn’t just blood; it’s Eddie’s blood.
Buck wants to reassure her, but instead, he cries, “So much.”
She stops to nudge his chin up, so their eyes met, “What?”
“He lost so much,” Buck chokes, “Blood – too much.”
She looks heaven forward, then kneels, hands on Buck’s cheeks, “I know you’re scared.”
“I thought he was dead,” The sob tears through him, “He wasn’t moving; he was right in front of me, Athena, and I couldn’t help—”
“He’s here,” Athena tells him, “He’s alive, and you were there; that’s all he needed.” She wipes the cloth over his forehead gently.
“Can I tell you something?” He asks, “That you can’t tell them.”
“Of course.”
His voice breaks, “I almost got hit.”
Athena hisses, pulling back the cloth, “What?”
“Eddie was falling, and I couldn’t move,” He stumbles over his words, “I was the next clearest target.” He shakes his head, “I could see Eddie, he was on the ground, but his eyes were on me; he was trying to get me to move.”
Athena sits on her heels; she takes his hand.
“I couldn’t,” He blinks away tears, “Then the captain he pushed me down.”
She nods.
“If he hadn’t, I’d be dead.”
“Well then,” Athena smiles, “He’s my new favorite person.”
Buck frowns, “Why?”
She rests her hand on his cheek, “He saved you.”
He yelps, “I never freeze.”
“Eddie isn’t a patient that you were assigned to,” She speaks softly, “He’s somebody you love.” She cups his hands, she offers him a soft smile, “You weren’t even in your uniform, sweetheart; Firefighter Buckley didn’t freeze, Buck did. A very brave young man who just watched his best friend get shot.”
Buck croaks, “I did.”
Athena gently grips his chin, making sure he is listening, “Don’t you forget that.”
And despite everything, Buck doesn’t.
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ad1thi · 3 months ago
this was based on a conversation i had w @diazalex a while ago, and while im not really a buddie shipper im pretty proud of it cuz i banged it out in like 10 minutes so im posting it
Eddie's fingers flex around the edge of the counter, gripping and releasing in a single breath. He's resting against it, elbows bent to steady himself, and to anyone else he looks relaxed.
Buck isn’t anyone else.
He waits Eddie out, lets the weight of their conversation, of their confession hang in the air. There's more that Eddie wants to say, Buck knows there's more that Eddie wants to say - but if he pushes now, Eddie will just bottle it up and shove it down. So instead, he focuses on drying his dishes, content in the silence. "Can I just -" Eddie cuts himself off, and when Buck places down the dishrag and turns to face him, Eddie is no longer resting on the counter. He's closer, no more than a hairsbreadth away, and even after all this time - it still makes Buck's breath catch in his throat. "Just once," Eddie says, with no explanation, but Buck doesn't need one, not about this. His tongue sticks out involuntarily, and he watches as Eddie follows his tongue with his eyes. "I know you're with Taylor, and I'm happy with Ana," Eddie's voice is hoarse, like the words are straining to get out, "But just once." Buck doesn't trust himself to speak, so he just nods. It doesn't take more than a step for Eddie to cover the distance between them, and absurdly - it occurs to Buck just how much taller he is than Eddie. Peripherally, he's always known he's the tallest member of the 118, but now that Eddie's here - close enough that Buck can count each individual lash - he's realizing that he'll actually have to duck his head. "Just once," Bucky whispers back, and he bends down just as Eddie tilts up, fixing a hand onto the back of Buck's head and slotting into his chest as Buck's fingers find the grooves of his hips. It's chaste at first, tentative and cautious, but then Eddie swipes his tongue on Buck's bottom lip and that's all she wrote. Buck walks him backwards until he hits the counter-top with a dull thud, his grip on Eddie's hip tightening enough to bruise as Eddie fists his fingers into Buck's hair and pulls. It's everything that Buck thought it would be and nothing like that at all. His hands move up Eddie's sides to cup his cheeks, and he presses down until there's scarcely enough space between them. In response, Eddie juts his hips up and tilts his head to the side, pulling back ever so slightly to sink his teeth into Buck's bottom lip before slotting their mouths together again. They pull apart with a wet pop, and Buck rests his forehead on Eddie's, eyes closed. He doesn't need to open them to see the flush on Eddie's cheeks, or the redness of his lips. "Just once," Eddie whispers again, "I just needed to know what it would feel like."
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evangeline-118 · 19 days ago
every time i read a buddie fic where they’re about to do the do, i like to play a fun drinking game called ‘Where’s Chris?™’ and basically how it works is i take a shot everytime the author says he is:
- at a sleepover
- at a birthday party
- with abuela
- with pepa
- at camp
- with carla
and then i take two shots if he is asleep in his room (for my sanity). finally, if its a completely new scenario (props to them, thats hard) i take 3 shots.
highly recommend, guaranteed to get you wasted.
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mellaithwen · 29 days ago
Spoilers for 5x06 Brawl in Cell Block 9-1-1. While they wait for news in the hospital, Eddie tends to Buck's head wound.
“You don’t have to do this, I’m fine,” Buck says, so very quietly, like it’s a rumour that he’s not sure he believes just yet. And Eddie, not for the first time, finds himself wanting to rage and scream at anyone who ever made Buck feel less than—like he didn’t deserve the tenderness that came with being taken care of. Like he deserved to hurt. And Eddie understands that feeling more than most. A lot more. And he hates it.
He rests his fingers under Buck’s chin, and gently tilts his head upwards to face him; to make eye contact to drive the point home.
“You ever think that maybe I might be doing this for me too?” Eddie asks.
Buck looks a little broken at that, the way his face seems to almost collapse in on itself, and the breath he lets out is shaky and a little surprised.
But it’s true. Eddie needs this. He needs to convince himself that he’s safe, that Buck’s safe, that Christopher’s safe. He needs the quiet ministrations to calm him down—he needs to slip into the familiar motions of giving care until his heart rate slows and finally the last of the adrenaline can ebb away.
He lets his thumb brush at Buck’s cheek, his hand still cradling his jaw. The moment seems to stretch and breathe and they stay there for a while, tethered by touch, until finally Buck gives a little nod of acceptance as he lets Eddie continue with his work.
Keep reading on ao3
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waywardrenegades · a month ago
no kingdom to come
author: waywardrenegades
pairing: evan “buck” buckley/eddie diaz
rating: teen
chapters: 2/2 - COMPLETE
words: 23.1K
tags: feelings realization | declarations of love | love confessions | first kiss | slow burn | mutual pining | pining | friends to lovers | getting together | light angst | POV eddie diaz | pre-relationship evan "buck" buckley/eddie diaz | pre-relationship
family, facetime, guilt trips, phone calls, church, heart healthy meals, and learning how to let yourself be happy. whatever that looks like.
or; when his father experiences a health scare, eddie flies to el paso.
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writefasttalkevenfaster · 4 months ago
Evan Buckley / Waiting
Series: Neighbors (Evan Buckley x Reader)
Summary: After the fire engine crushed his leg, Buck was left waiting -- but he didn't know what he was waiting for -- turns out it was you (imagine being buck's neighbor).
Word Count: 1,373
Warnings: just cute fluff, spoilers for the season 2 finale, mild spoilers for 'buck begins' (04x05),
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That was one thing Buck was never good at.
He couldn’t wait for his parents to love him — he had to get hurt to get their attention. He couldn’t wait for Maddie to leave Doug — he had to find himself on his own (admittedly with some help from the jeep). He couldn’t wait for Abby to get back from finding herself — he had to leave his first love behind.
And he couldn’t wait for his bone to heal — he couldn’t leave the most important thing he’d ever done in his life.
Maddie didn’t get it — and he grits his teeth, but why would she? She was the one who always did the leaving, wasn’t she?
Not like him, he rolled over on his side gingerly. he couldn’t get left behind.
Not again.
But this was a waiting game now because his surgery was scheduled a few days out — but he could wait a few days. His fingers drummed against his couch, but not much longer.
Eddie and Chris had been over yesterday, but everyone was at work now — saving lives, and he was stuck here to his couch, staring at the ceiling, trying to ignore the itch in his cast and the sticky heat of his apartment.
It had been a while since he had felt like the world was passing him by, and right now, it really did. Out of his window, he could see it go — people walking the streets, his team shooting him messages in between their calls, Maddie checking up on him during her breaks — and he was here.
He was always here.
Hell, he was even stuck on the first floor — an eternal roommate in his own place. And he wondered, as he glanced towards the window again, when would he would stop feeling like a bystander in his own life?
And he sits up, frowning.
It takes more than a moment for Buck to get to his feet, grabbing crutches to help him along to the door, scowling at the walking aides — something that had been as easy as breathing, now as difficult as scaling entire buildings.
And that ease had been taken from him.
He opened his door, peering outside — but on the other hand, at least he had an apartment to come home to.
He frowns at the sight before him — several boxes piled up along the length of the hallway — are those boxes blocking the elevator — and then his gaze snaps back to you — your back pressed to the wall beside the door across the hall. But you pay him no mind — only typing furiously on your phone, sweat glinting off your furrowed brow, your lips twisted in a frown.
“Hey,” and your head snaps up, a glare in your eyes that nearly makes him recoil, until your gaze softens, eyes flickering from his cast back to his face, “you okay?”
You shake your head, offering a weak smile, “I feel like I should be asking you that,” and he flinches, “shit sorry, I didn’t mean—”
“Well, I’m doing as well as you could expect,” he sighs, making his way out of the doorway, and sees boxes lining the hall, blinking twice, “moving in or moving out?”
“Moving in, and it wasn’t supposed to be into the hallway,” you rest your head against the wall, “the landlord is going to be another hour or more, unless there’s L.A. traffic on the freeway of course, because who has ever heard of that?” you groan, before your eyes fall back to him, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to complain to a complete stranger.”
“Well, I’d say we’re more neighbors than strangers at this point,” and he smiles at you, as you chuckle, giving him the first real smile from you he’s seen — “do you want to come in?” and you hesitate, “I mean we can keep the door open,” and he feels his cheeks burn as you raise your eyebrows, “so you can keep an eye on your stuff, I wasn’t—”
You laugh, “You’re sweet,” and he hopes you don’t notice the red burning at his neck, “if you don’t mind?”
“Not like I have big plans today,” he shrugs, jerking his head for you to follow him inside, “plus it would be nice to have some company.”
And his heart squeezes as he glances back at you — especially if it's you.
“You stole a firetruck to hook up?” you shake your head, leaning back against the chair you sat in, “I hope it must have been a special occasion to warrant a felony?”
“If you count a desperate need to hook up with a woman I met on a call special,” he offers a weak smile while you shake your head, mouthing ‘no.’ He laughs, sipping at his coffee, “I’ve changed a lot since then, and it’s because of my job, because of the team,” and his face drops, sighing, “and I don’t know if I’m gonna get that back now.”
You frown, your eyes drifting to his leg, “If you don’t mind me asking, how bad—”
“It’s going to take some time to heal, longer than expected,” he’s shaking his head, “I want to get a surgery to speed up my recovery, in fact, I’m planning on it,”
“But?” and he slumps in his chair.
“My sister thinks I should just wait to see if it heals, but I don’t know,” he leans forward, “you see, this job — it’s given me everything — my friends, family, purpose. If this surgery can get me back there faster, then why wouldn’t I do it?”
“I can’t say I know what that’s like,” you purse your lips, “but Buck, it’s your decision to make at the end of the day. The only thing I know is that life is far too short to make your decisions based on what someone else wants. If your doctor says it’s safe, if you think it’s safe, and then you have to weigh the benefits of getting the surgery versus not,” and then you shake your head, “sorry that is probably the most wishy-washy answer you’ve gotten.”
“No, no, actually,” he blinks at you, before his lips form a half-smile, “do you know you’re the first person who hasn’t told me what to do?”
You snort, “Your friends sound nice, but a little bossy, huh?”
He laughs at that, a noise from his chest that makes your heart flutter, “A little, but like you said, their hearts are in the right place,” he shrugs, before he frowns, “I’m sorry, I feel like I’m talking a lot.”
“Don’t apologize,” you wave him off, “I like listening to you,”
“You do?” and you tilt your head.
“You seem surprised,”
“No, no, I just—” he shrugs, “It usually takes a bit for people to get me I guess,”
“Well, I think I got you the moment you invited me into your apartment,” and he furrows his brow, “you’re sweet.”
He chuckles, “I don’t think I’ve heard anyone say that about me,”
“Oh, how do people usually describe you?”
“Reckless, headstrong, stubborn,” and then he lifts his gaze to meet yours, mischievous, “charming, handsome.”
It’s your turn to laugh, before you nod, sipping at your drink, eyes not leaving his, “I can buy that,”
Oh, now can you?
“Well—” he leans forward, but then your phone buzzes, and you tear your eyes away from him, "the landlord's finally here."
"Finally," he gives a weak smile, and he tucks his disappointment away, "well good luck moving in. I'd help but—" his eyes flicker down from his cast and then back up.
"Well you could help?" And he tilts his head, "keep me company?"
He laughs a little, "You spent three hours talking with me and you're not sick of me yet?"
"Well you are charming after all," you throw a smile over your shoulder, as you head towards the door, "you coming?"
And he smiles, and as he rises, adjusting his crutches under his arms, he couldn't help but think he wouldn't mind waiting — if it was always with you.
"I'm coming."
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tomhollandd · 4 months ago
Savior [E.B.]
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader
Words: 2,335
Warnings: Angst, mentions of injuries, fire, fluff
Prompt: "You saved my life.”
Summary: The 118 is called to a fire and it just so happens to be your apartment. The problem is that you're trapped in 4th-floor apartment
A/N: This is my first Buck one-shot so please be nice lol I tried my best lol lemme know what y’all think!! Masterlist in bio!!
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The fire rages through your apartment building, floor filling with flames and smoke while everyone tries to get out with firefighters there to help and try to stop the fire in its tracks. People are exiting the building, one after the other, some coughing and others with minor burns but most getting to safety with the firefighters leading them to paramedics which is when the 118 shows up.
It’s a fire, something they’ve seen a hundred times but this is different. This is different because as Buck exits the truck, he knows the building like the back of his hand and his heart just sinks. He has a job to do but he checks his phone anyway where there’s still an unread text he sent to you about twenty minutes ago. Sure, that isn’t really unusual, twenty-minutes isn’t exactly a long time to wait for a text back but with him standing outside of your burning apartment building, twenty minutes seems like an eternity.
“Buck? Buck?” Bobby says, snapping Buck from his thoughts. “You have a--”
“It’s y/n’s building.” Buck stares at the building, watching the flames escape from broken windows below your floor.
Bobby turns, looking over his shoulder and without a single doubt in his mind, he knows Buck is gonna do something very Buck tonight. “I’m sure they’re fine.” Bobby says. “We’re gonna get the fire under control, send anyone else in that we can. You have a job to do, Buck.”
“Yeah, but Bobby," Buck shakes his head, the worry laced across every inch of his face. "They haven’t answered me and they’re supposed to be home. They’re in there.” Buck pleads, something in his gut turning with the thought of you being stuck in a burning building.
“Buck.” Bobby warns. “If they’re in there, we will get them out. Go help Eddie with the hoses.”
Buck sighs and he wants to keep arguing but he listens to Bobby. There isn’t any poof you’re inside the building so what is he supposed to do? Scale the building to your window and see if you’re there? Go inside the burning building with no help to look for you when maybe you just ran out for food? Bobby’s right, as Bobby usually is, Buck has a job and that’s to help with the hoses until he’s directed to do otherwise but the pit in his stomach grows with every passing second until there’s a crash from the 4th floor.
The smoke is filling your apartment and you can see the flashing lights of the firetrucks below your apartment. You can't wait anymore so you grab a chair and toss it right at the window, the glass shattering everywhere but it allows you to scream for help.
“Help!” You yell before a cough leaves your lips, tears streaming down your face. “Please!”
Your throat is sore from breathing in smoke and you’ve been waiting too long for help. You were asleep in your bed when the fire started, your smoke alarm never going off despite having just changed the batteries. It wasn’t until you heard yelling that you woke up but by the time you even realized it smelled of smoke, the fire was blazing and raging through the complex. The door leading out of your apartment was warm to the touch so you stayed put, afraid the fire was right outside but now it’s getting too hard to breath and it’s getting way too hot.
Panic had set in and you saw it one of two ways, sit here and be burned alive or make an effort to get some help to you so you tossed the chair out of the window. You knew the risk of making something worse but you were not gonna die here without making an effort to get help to you. It’d been too long and at that point, you had to assume they didn’t know you were even in the building because someone should have been there to help. But even seeing the fire engines below you, it doesn’t give you any relief because they still have to get to you and they might be too late. What if they’re too late? So you keep yelling from your window.
Buck looks up and every piece of him is ready to run into the building now. Forget the hose, forget helping any of his team, he needs to get you. You've been in the building the whole time like he said you would be. He has to save you.
“Bobby!” Buck yells as Bobby was already on his way to Buck. “Y/n's up there! I told you!”
Bobby pays no attention to Buck’s comment. “We’re getting the ladder ready. Get up there.” Bobby says and without another word, Buck is quick to make his way to the truck.
You look back at your door but the whole apartment is filled with smoke. You can’t see a foot in front of your face. All you do know is that the ladder is coming towards your window but it’s not fast enough. the smoke is becoming completely suffocating and your body just feels like it can't yell anymore, can't stand anymore. So, you just have to sit down, just for a minute because the ladder is almost to your window.
And Buck can feel it, too, feel the passing of time going way too slow, everything moving in slow motion as he just waits for the ladder to be ready and it doesn’t take long but for him, it’s an eternity. He isn’t sure how long you’ve been in there but however long is just too long so once he gets the all-clear to move, he shoots up the ladder faster than he ever has before.
By the time he gets up to your window, you’re sat against the wall, your shirt covering your nose and mouth, body exhausted from yelling and crying and breathing in all the smoke. You couldn’t stand at the window any longer waiting. The adrenaline is still pumping, your body jus shaking from the adrenaline flooding your veins but you couldn't stand and now Buck is there and so is the fire.
“Y/n?” Buck calls out before seeing you against the wall and squatting beside you. “C’mon, we gotta get you outa here!” He says quickly through his respirator, looking back towards where the flames are coming in at your doorway.
You look over and your chest just feels the relief with the sight of him. “Buck?” Your voice hoarse, squinting at him.
“C’mon.” Buck says, putting his arms around you and you wrapping your arms around his neck so he can help you onto the ladder. “I’ll be right behind you.” He says and all you can do is nod.
You’re weak but your adrenaline is still flooding your body allowing you to climb the ladder down to safety, Buck right behind you as he said he would be. This has been the scariest time of your life and you’re just glad to have your feet finally on solid ground and out of harm's way of the fire. But with that immense relief cascading over you, your adrenaline finally crashes completely and your legs give out, Buck grabbing you before you’re able to fall onto the pavement.
“Hen! Chim!” Buck calls just as Hen and Chim were coming over with a gurney.
“We got it, Buck.” Chim assures.
“You okay, y/n?” Hen asks as her and Chim are moving further away, Buck following, mindlessly ignoring Bobby and Eddie’s calls for him.
“Chest hurts.” You mumble, Chim putting an oxygen mask over your head and onto your face while hooking you up to a monitor.
“We’re gonna get you to the hospital, okay?” Hen asks, not really asking for permission while they put you in the back of the ambulance, Buck looking like a lost puppy as he watches.
“Wait, uh.” Buck starts before Hen can shut the ambulance doors. “Can I go?”
“Come after. We got it from here, Buck. Y/n’ll be fine.” Hen offers Buck a small smile.
“But...uh, I just--”
“It’s okay. Go.” Hen urges Buck before she shuts the doors, making her way to the front of the ambulance.
Buck stands there as the ambulance drives away and there’s a moment of anger that just hits. Just one single moment where he just wants to yell because he knew. The two of you have this thing going on for so long that it’s never even been discussed, you just know that you’re together. You click and you know each oter’s schedules and not because either of you are possessive but because you hang out so much and talk more than anything so it all abidbes by working arround each other’s schedule. And Buck knows that on Friday nights, you come home from work and catch up on whatever show you’ve been binge watching to kick off your weekend. You typically order in food, something that’s good reheated and Buck meets you at your place whenever his shift ends even if it’s three in te morning. He knew and Bobby didn’t listen to him and Hen and Chim won’t let him go with you.
But this is just a single moment that he’s angry because the fire still needs to be put out and he knows, he knows this is not Bobby’s fault or Hen’s or Chim’s but he feels like it's his fault. Maybe he should have fought harder to get Bobby to know you were inside. He didn’t really know but there’s a pat of him that blames himself because you were coughing and tears stained your cheeks and the fire had gotten into your apartment and even if you’re okay, there’s gonna be some type of trauma you’re gonna be dealing with after all of this. So, maybe had Buck fought hader, he could have gotten to you quicker.
Buck can’t dwell on it now though, so he gets to helping Eddie and doing as Bobby says until the fire is completely put out and everyone is out of the building. Miraculously, there are no casualties, plenty with smoke inhalation, and only a few people suffered from burns. The building is pretty destroyed but the important part is that everyone lived and should be okay. Which gives Buck the ability to finally go to the hospital to see you.
When he gets to the hospital, he’s taken back to you by a nurse. You’re hooked up to monitors with a mask still over your face and your dominant hand is wrapped in thick gauze. Was your hand burned? In the moment, Buck somehow managed to miss it and you didn’t say anything. You only said his name and then that your chest hurt but his heart just sinks looking at you as you sleep. So, he takes a seat at your bedside, Hen, Chim, Bobby, and Eddie waiting in the waiting room knowing they couldn’t just let Buck go alone.
“Hey.” You mumble, your voice still hoarse as you peek an eye open at him, soot decorating the sides of his face.
Buck's heart jump as his eyes widen as he moves closer. “Hey.” He lets out a soft but relieved chuckle. “How, uh, how ya feeling?”
“Um…” You shrug. “Shitty.” You let out a laugh but start coughing which leads Buck to grab you the cup of water on the stand beside your bed and helping you take a sip. “Thanks.”
“What’d, uh, what’d the doctor say?” He asks with hesitance as he glances to your hand, still not fully relieved until he hears that you’ve been told you’ll be fine.
“They said I should be fine. They wanna keep me and possibly release me tomorrow depending how my oxygen levels are.” You give Buck a gentle smile while your eyes gloss over. “My hand will fine, it’s just some small burn.”
Buck glances to your hand once more before looking back to your eyes. “What happened?”
“Touched the doorknob like an idiot.” You give him a grin. “I‘ve seen movies and shows and heard from you that that’s a bad idea but I the moment I didn’t think about it.”
Buck lets out a half-laugh. “Guess I can’t blame you. It was petty bad in there.”
“Yeah, pretty scary.” You chew your lip as the room goes silent. “I could have died.”
“Psh.” Buck shakes his head, furrowing his brows. “You’re too stubborn.”
“You saved my life.” You bush off Buck's comment, knowing he was just trying to make a joke.
“It’s my job.” Buck forces himself to pull one side of his mouth into a smile, stll feeling touches of guilt that he didn’t get to you sooner.
“Doesn’t really matter." You roll your eyes. "You still saved me, Buck.”
“I’ll always save you.” Buck smiles, looking to the floor, chest feeling with happiness and relief.
“Guess we’ll have to move our Fridays to your place.” You joke lightly.
Buck shrugs, raising his brows as he pauses for a few seconds. “Could….move Fridays, to everyday. At my place?” Buck offers, a nervous laugh leaving his lips.
You narrow your eyes. “Are you asking me to move in with you, Buckley?”
“Well, your apartment did just burn.” Buck chuckles, joking back. “Guess you could stay with Maddie--”
“Mmm, staying you with you sounds great.” You cut him off but quickly continue. “No offense to Maddie but, ya know, she’s not you.”
Buck laughs. “Yeah, you’re right.” Buck pauses, letting out a sigh. “You should get some rest though.”
“Be here when I wake up?”
“Always.” Buck smiles, leaning up and kissing your forehead.
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Tag list: @lenonizi-fics​ // @rainbowsinthestorm​ // @arvinrussellsgirlfriend​ // @thsummersoldier​ 
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firemedicdiaz · a month ago
Tarnished but so Grand
Fandom: 9-1-1. Prompt: trauma recovery for @buddiebingo. Pairing: technically EddieAna, but with a Buddie feelings realization. Word Count: 3477. Genre: hurt/comfort. Rating: teen+. Warning(s): panic attacks. Summary: Eddie has another panic attack.  This time, instead of calling 9-1-1, Christopher calls for another kind of help. Note:  Thank you to the lovely @dearestdiaz for all of the encouragement, support, and suggestions along the way.  Thank you to @fireladybuckley​ for the final beta.  Title from ivy by Taylor Swift.
Read it on AO3.
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            Not again.
            As his knees gave out and he hit the floor, Eddie swore he could still hear the echoes of the sirens passing by outside that had pitched him headlong into a panic attack.  A distant crashing noise stirred just enough reasoning to tell him he’d brought the bowl he’d been holding down with him and the din was enough to bring Christopher rushing in from the adjacent room.
            Eddie’s head felt like it turned in slow motion as he honed in on the sound of his son’s voice, barely audible over the thunderous roar of his heartbeat in his ears.  His vision was distorted by vivid flashbacks to his last panic attack; the commotion in the store around him, the bumpy ride to the hospital, the squeeze of the blood pressure cuff around his arm, the immodesty of it all as they worked him up for a heart attack.  It hadn’t been, though.  It had been a panic attack.
            I don’t panic.
            Christopher shuffled over to where Eddie was lying on the floor, a hand clutching at his chest, the other grasping desperately at nothing, searching for something to hold onto, a way to ground himself.  Christopher leaned in over Eddie, his expression concerned, and it didn’t take him long to realize what was happening.  As Chris remembered Eddie’s last panic attack, he was spurred into action.
            “I’m gonna call for help,” Christopher explained as he turned to leave in search of the phone.
            Eddie’s heart clenched at the thought of another trip to the ER, another doctor telling him to seek out a therapist, to work through the feelings that were keeping him trapped in an endless loop.  He tried to find his voice, to call out to Christopher, to tell his son not to bother, that he’d be fine, damn it, but he couldn’t get enough air to do anything more than whisper.  All the muscles in his torso ached as he fought against the tension there in increasingly desperate attempts to take in some more air.
            His mind went to the pamphlet.  The ridiculous pamphlet Dr. Salazar had given him at the hospital and pressed him to consider.  A brief wish that he hadn’t crumpled it up and thrown it in the garbage on his way out the doors that night sparked and then died out again as his insistence reared its head.  
            I don’t panic.
            Eddie flattened his palm over his sternum, hoping that by unclenching his fist he could get the tight knot in his chest to loosen up, too.  It didn’t help, though, and he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes as his fingers and toes started to prickle from a lack of oxygen.  His vision greyed around the edges, spots dancing in his line of sight as his mind and physiology stood at odds.  
            He jumped at the sound of footsteps, turning his head to look at the new arrival in the kitchen.
            Ana?  What was she doing there?  
            Right.  That  was what he’d been in the middle of doing when the panic attack had hit.
            I don’t panic.
            Her hands were icy against his clammy skin and he unconsciously jerked away from her touch.  She held up her hands in an attempt to calm him, show him she wasn’t going to hurt him, but instinct drove Eddie to dig his heels into the floor and push back, away from her touch.  He didn’t need it, didn’t want it.
            “Christopher, call 9-1-1,” she instructed.
            Christopher hovered in the periphery of his vision, clutching the cordless phone.  Eddie thought he could make out Chris shaking his head, but he couldn’t focus, couldn’t stop his eyes darting frantically around the room, unseeing, catching flashes of that day, the shooting, the ride to the hospital, the blood on Buck’s face.
            “I’m already calling for help,” Christopher insisted, bringing the receiver back to his face, pushing his glasses up his nose as he focused on the voice on the other end of the line.  
            Help was coming.  
            The thought was barely reassuring as Eddie had no idea how long it would be until it arrived, but it was something.  It didn’t do anything to loosen the vice around his chest, though, and his mind spiraled as the ache around his heart persisted.  It might not have been a heart attack last time, but that didn’t mean anything.  His heart was racing, a cold sweat beaded on his skin, he couldn’t breathe; if he was treating a patient with the same symptoms, he’d be rushing them into the hospital to be on the safe side.
            “Buck wants to know how his breathing is.”
            Even through his panic, Eddie could feel a small wave of frustration coming off Ana; he’d look into that later - look into all the ways she just didn’t quite fit into his vision of his and Christopher’s future, but at that moment all he could do was try to remind himself that he probably wasn’t actually dying, no matter how much it felt like he was.
            “Really fast and shallow,” Ana replied worriedly, her hands hovering in the air, unsure of how best to help.  “It’s okay, Edmundo, it’s alright.  Try to take a deep breath.”
            It would’ve been great advice if Eddie could remember how.  He shut his eyes tightly, gritting his teeth as he fought to get control of his body, slow his heart rate, but he didn’t make much headway.  Ana’s touch was back, then, one hand cupping his face and the other carding through his hair.  He wanted it to be reassuring, he really did, but it just made the pit in his stomach open up wider.  He shook his head, batting at her hands, desperate to stop himself from feeling like he was being pulled apart any more than he already did.
            “He’s on his way,” Christopher said after relaying Ana’s words over the phone.  “He said to keep him comfortable and keep trying to get him to breathe slower.”
            Buck was coming.
            The knot in Eddie’s chest eased just a fraction, just enough for him to drop his shoulders back and take in a slight bit more air than before.  It took some time, some encouragement from Ana and Christopher, but eventually Eddie’s breathing began to steady.  Ana had moved away some, giving Eddie space, and Christopher had disappeared briefly before returning with a throw pillow from the couch to put under Eddie’s head.  He was nothing if not dutiful in a crisis.
            The sound of the front door being thrown open and a set of much heavier footsteps than Ana’s caught their attention and all three of them looked toward the doorway in the kitchen as Buck rushed in, blue eyes blown wide with worry, chest heaving just a little from a mix of exertion and anxiety.
            “Hey Eds,” Buck said in a strained but even tone, a small smile pulling at the corners of his lips when he realized Eddie was in no immediate danger.  “What’s happening?”
            Ana moved aside as Buck moved to kneel next to Eddie in her place.  She stood, smoothing her hands along the front of her dress to brush out the wrinkles that had formed as she’d knelt.
            “He’s having another panic attack,” she explained quietly.
            I don’t panic.
            “I’m fine,” Eddie said hoarsely, his voice strained and gravelly from the hyperventilation.
            He propped himself on his elbows, pushing to sit up, but a wave of dizziness sent him sprawling back onto the floor.  The air left his lungs in a rush and he made a slightly strangled noise as his head hit the pillow again.  Buck’s hands were there then, one arm under his shoulders, one hand taking his arm to help guide him into a seated position with his back against the fridge.  Fingertips sought Eddie’s wrist, pressed firmly against his too-fast pulse.  Eddie closed his eyes and dropped his head back against the cool metal of the refrigerator door.
            “You’re tachy,” Buck murmured, his eyes searching Eddie’s face and body for any traces of hurt.
            “How’d you get here so fast?”  Eddie asked quietly.
            “Taylor and I were having dinner out nearby,” Buck explained.  “Still took a good fifteen minutes with the evening traffic, though.”
            Fifteen minutes? Had he really been in that state for that long?  It simultaneously felt like everything had happened in a flash and stretched on for an eternity.
            “Sorry to have ruined your evening,” Eddie murmured sheepishly, keeping his gaze averted even as he opened his eyes and lifted his head.
            “You didn’t ruin anything,” Buck admonished gently, releasing Eddie’s wrist from his grip at last and touching a gentle hand to his elbow instead.  “Think you’re okay to stand?”
            Eddie’s breaths were still coming in short, staccato gasps and the pins and needles in his hands and feet burned like fire and ice alike, but he nodded anyway.  He was becoming acutely aware of all the pairs of eyes watching him from different places in the room and he could feel the tide of anxiety rising again.  He needed to get somewhere else to breathe a bit and calm down.
            “Alright,” Buck agreed as he rose to his feet, holding out a hand for Eddie to take.  
            Eddie braced himself as he reached up to take Buck’s hand.  He allowed Buck to pull him to his feet, giving the other man a quick, grateful look.  As their eyes met and parted again, Eddie realized he’d seen none of the accusation or curiosity he’d been expecting in Buck’s eyes - just kindness and comfort.  He felt the knot in his chest ease a little more and didn’t protest as Buck turned to lead him towards the bedroom.
            “Chris, buddy, I want you to stay here with Ana, okay?”  Buck said gently to the boy as they moved past him.
            “I’m sure Christopher would rather be with his father,” Ana interjected.
            “It’s okay,” Christopher agreed quietly, turning his gaze to Eddie.  “You’re gonna be fine, dad.  Just let Buck take care of you.”
            Eddie smiled faintly and nodded, listing to the side a little on shaky legs.  Buck didn’t let him get very far, pulling Eddie in close with an arm around his waist, keeping him supported.  The two of them stood there for a moment as Christopher, reassured now that Buck was there, turned and shuffled out into the living room.  Ana stayed, watching them as Buck began to lead Eddie down the hall toward the bedroom.
            “We should get him to the hospital,” she insisted.
            Buck spared her the briefest glance before shaking his head and returning his focus to Eddie.  The bedroom was just a short walk away but with Eddie’s legs shaking from the exertion of moving through a panic attack, it took them a minute to get there.  Buck kept him close and supported through the trip, sticking to Eddie’s side even as they reached the bed and he helped the other man settle against the headboard.
            “How’re you doing?”  Buck asked softly, watching Eddie’s expression as the other man’s eyes fluttered closed, his chest still rising and falling too quickly.
            “Chest hurts,” Eddie managed in between breaths. 
            Buck hummed commiseratingly, inching closer.  Eddie slowly opened his eyes as he felt Buck’s hands, warm and sure and steady, clasp one of his own and squeeze reassuringly.
            “Let’s try and get your breathing under control, get ahead of the panic.”
            Eddie met Buck’s gaze, his expression taking on a grim determination.
            “I don’t panic.”
            To his credit, Buck wasn’t cowed by Eddie’s insistence.  
            “And here I thought we’ve been friends long enough to be past all the posturing,” Buck said softly, his tone lacking any real teasing or venom.  “No one’s above panic, Eds.”
            Eddie’s cheek twitched as he chewed his lip, his jaw set like he wanted to argue.  His breathing was too labored, too erratic for any lengthy rebuttal, though, and he knew he’d been caught out anyway.  He closed his eyes again as Buck’s thumb stroked over the back of his hand.
            “You’re safe, I’m right here, I’ve got you,” Buck reassured once he realized Eddie wasn’t going to fight him.  “Just focus on me, on my voice, and try to slow down, okay?”
            Buck’s voice was light, his tone deep and quiet, and it cut through some of Eddie’s anxiety.  Buck’s grip on his hand slowly tightened a bit before loosening again.  It became a rhythm, an ebb and flow, and Eddie allowed the touch to ground him a bit.
            “Good, that’s good,” Buck coached.  “Now I want you to try to match your breathing to my grip.  Breathe in as I squeeze and out when I let go.  Can you try to do that for me?”
            Eddie hesitated.  Needing to be talked through a breathing exercise was nothing if not confirmation that he had lost all grip on rhyme and reason, and he was having trouble accepting the fact that he was having a panic attack.  Again.  He hated the disconnect between his mind and body, the way the pain in his chest and the catch in his breathing felt like a betrayal, the way he had no control over what was happening to him.  It wasn’t something he was used to and it felt alien and unwelcome.
            Buck’s grip tightened again and Eddie clung to the tether of the other man’s touch.  If anyone could understand what he was feeling, it was Buck.  Buck, who’d been through enough trauma of his own to last three lifetimes.  Buck, who’d had nightmares for months after the tsunami.  Buck, who’d seen fit to check in on him for days after he’d nearly been buried alive.  Buck, who’d known panic of his own, who’d owned it and overcome it and emerged on the other side of the worst of it stronger and more emotionally mature than before.  Buck wouldn’t judge or minimize or question his struggle.  Buck would help, just like he always did.
            “Yeah,” Eddie agreed eventually.
            Buck nodded and honed his focus, watching the rise and fall of Eddie’s chest as he slowly squeezed Eddie’s hand tighter and tighter to a four count, then released his grip again in equal measure.  He continued, gradually slowing the count over the course of several minutes.  Eventually, Eddie’s breathing began to catch on, slowing and deepening as he came back to himself.
            The knot in Eddie’s chest began to untangle as he worked to match the cadence of Buck’s grasp.  It was hard at first and he had trouble keeping up, but eventually the fierce aching behind his ribs began to dull and the tension in his neck and shoulders melted away, leaving more room in his lungs for air.  He sagged back against the headboard as the panic fled, leaving him boneless and hollow and wrung out.  Tears prickled behind his eyelids and he sniffed hard, determined to keep them from falling.
            “There we go,” Buck murmured, his thumb stroking across Eddie’s knuckles for a moment before releasing the other man’s hand.  “Feeling better?”
            Eddie opened his eyes as Buck’s fingers found his wrist again.  His pulse was still faster than usual, but it had slowed significantly and Buck seemed reassured by the fact.  Eddie relaxed into Buck’s gentle ministrations, letting himself be comforted by the other man’s presence and attentiveness.  He’d expected awkwardness in the wake of the attack, but all he found when he took a moment to assess the situation was reassurance and understanding.  It did something funny to his heart and he vaguely wondered whether Buck had felt the skip in his pulse.  If he had, he didn’t give any indication.
            “I have half a mind to get you to take me down to the station for an ECG, but I think I’m okay,” Eddie said with a ghost of a teasing smile, exhaustion weighing heavily on his usual cheek.
            “You know I’d do it if it made you feel better, right?”  Buck asked quietly, his touch at Eddie’s wrist filling the silence that followed in a way that words could never.
            “I know,” Eddie acknowledged gratefully.
            Buck shrugged, his gaze falling away from Eddie’s as he smiled and a soft flush crept up in his cheeks.  Eddie found it endearing, but he’d ruminate on the feeling of fondness later, when he wasn’t grappling with so many emotions all at once.  In the meantime, he smoothed his clammy palms over his thighs to dry them and kept his focus on maintaining a steady rhythm of inhales and exhales.
            “Have you considered therapy?”  Buck asked a moment later, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled over them.
            Eddie shrugged.
            “Didn’t think I needed it.”
            Buck understood.  He’d been resistant, too, at first, but he’d never regretted it since starting.  He wouldn’t push, though.  He knew that it wouldn’t be helpful if Eddie wasn’t ready.
            “It’s worth a thought,” he said lightly instead, glossing over any impulse to insist, to assure Eddie that it would help, to promise the payoff would be worth getting through the mess of feelings, thoughts, and realizations along the way.
            Eddie nodded.  He knew Buck was right, that he’d have to give in and talk to someone eventually, preferably before he started breaking down on the job, but it wasn’t something he was ready for just yet.  In that moment, faced with his best friend, Eddie was willing to give up just enough control to lean on Buck while he recovered from the panic attack.  He might be willing to let go of a little more down the road, to open up to Buck about all of the things going on in his mind, about the shooting, about feeling vulnerable, about feeling like he’d come so close to dying again with the last panic attack just months after he’d nearly lost his life to a bullet.  
            About Ana, a voice in the back of his mind whispered.
            A voice that he knew.  A voice he was familiar with.  A voice that had spoken up before in those quiet moments of solitude as he drifted off to sleep, as he drove to work with the radio turned down low enough to be nothing more than white noise, as he showered off the soot after a call.  A voice that he hadn’t wanted to entertain for any length of time before because things were good.  Things were fine.  Christopher liked Ana, and if Christopher was happy, so was Eddie.  The love would come eventually.
            In that moment, though, as he looked at Buck, as Buck rested a hand absentmindedly on his knee, soothing him as the last vestiges of panic faded and left him wrecked in their wake, the voice was insistent.  Things with Buck were warm.  They were comfortable, intimate, familiar.  They were as natural as breathing in a way that Eddie and Ana had never been, would likely never be, and it gave him pause even as he kept his expression neutral, impassive.
            They sat quietly together for a while longer, until Eddie could finally breathe properly without focusing quite so much on the task, until Buck was satisfied that Eddie’s heart rate had returned to baseline and the chest pains had cleared up, until the shame of breaking down in front of Ana and Chris again wore off some.  Eventually, not a moment before he could feel that Eddie was ready, Buck gave his knee a squeeze and stood, offering him a hand.
            “Ready to go back out there?”  Buck asked softly.
            He wasn’t, really, but he nodded anyway.
            “Yeah, I want to make sure Christopher is alright,” Eddie replied.
            Buck smiled as Eddie took his hand, steadying the other man as he stood to join him.  Buck’s arm wrapped around Eddie’s waist for just long enough to make sure that he was stable before pulling away again, leaving Eddie to stand on his own.  Even without the contact, Eddie felt stronger, more ready to face Ana and Christopher again than he ever would have on his own.
            If that spoke volumes on the state of Eddie’s relationship, his future, and what he desperately wanted for himself, well, he was going to have to push the feeling down to reexamine at another time.  Maybe a time when he was feeling less raw, less vulnerable, less safe than he did with Buck at his side, clouding his objectivity.  Maybe after he’d had a chance to reevaluate where things stood with Ana, to look into his heart and face the truth of what was there and what wasn’t.  Maybe once he’d sat down with Christopher and asked him what he wanted, too, no holds barred.
            Maybe with a little bit of honesty, things would finally start falling into place for him. 
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shmaptainhotchner · 8 months ago
Not So One Night Stand [Evan Buckley]
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Pairings: Evan Buckley x fem!Reader
Words: 8.9K
Summary: After a one night stand leaves you with a positive pregnancy test you did not expect the father to be involved, but looks can be deceiving
Warnings: mentions of sex, swears, some light angst, not very descriptive birth scene
A/N: okay this has been in the wips a while just waiting to come say hi so HI
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“So you’re...?”
“Pregnant yep,”
“And it’s mine?”
“And you’re sure?”
“You know for a first responder you ask really dumb questions,” you cocked an eyebrow up at him. “and look I wasn’t planning for this to happen, I rarely do the one night stand thing, but here we are. I told you, my end of the deal is up,” you patted your hands on your legs and stood up.
“W-Wait!” Buck stuttered, looking up at you. “You’re having a baby,” he wasn’t even talking to you at this point, just trying to process the information you had given you.
“Look, I might be a complete idiot for asking this, you want to be involved? I’m-I’m not planning on getting rid of him..or her,”
“You’d be okay with that? Like me coming to appointments and whatever else you need?”
“Well yeah I’m not against it,” you nodded. “I’m just surprised is all, forgive me for saying this but you don’t seem like the ‘arise to fatherly duties’ type person,”
Buck nodded, rubbing his neck nervously.
“Yeah, I could see why you might think that,”
“So you’re in? Like all in?” you asked carefully, looking down at him,
Buck stood up and nodded putting a hand out for you to take,
“All in,”
“Hey Pops can I talk to you real quick?” Buck asked, looking over at Bobby as they walked towards the empty locker room.
“Sure, what do you need, kid?” he said as they entered the room and sat on the benches.
“Um well, a-a...a girl I slept with she got, y’know...pregnant and I-I was just wondering if I might be able to get off my shift early tomorrow to go to the doctor with her,”
Bobby just stared at the boy, whatever he just said was like having his head dunked in a bucket of ice water, repeatedly.
“Bobby?” Buck looked at the captain oddly until he snapped out of his daze.
“Oh yeah!” Bobby looked up at Buck and nodded. “For sure I can cover for you,” he assured him. “I-I just have one question,”
Buck nodded for him to continue.
“Do,” Bobby lowered his voice, “do people know about this?”
“So far just you, I found out a week ago,” he explained. “And maybe if you could keep it to yourself just until (Y/N) and I figure things out a bit more, it’s a little hectic and I don’t think her parents are too happy about it all,”
Bobby nodded and patted the young man on the back,
“Hey I’m proud of you for stepping up like this, it’s big of you,”
“Thanks, Pops,” Buck gave him a light chuckle.
“If you need any help don’t hesitate to ask, kids are a big responsibility,”
“I know,” he nodded, pressing his lips together. “That’s why I couldn’t leave her on her own, it wouldn’t be fair, to her or the kid,”
Bobby felt as if he was talking to a whole new person, but it made sense, Evan Buckley always did have a soft spot for kids.
Buck sat anxiously in the dim doctor’s office, wringing his hands together and constantly looking back up at the door.
Finally, only a few moments before your appointment was scheduled for, you opened the door and walked into the office, Buck standing immediately to greet you.
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late,” you apologized. “A few things came up and I-I just lost track of time,”
“No, it’s alright,” he assured with an awkward nod. “H-How are you?”
“I’m okay,” you nodded while he led you to the front desk so you could check-in.
“You can just head to exam room 2,” the receptionist told you and you nodded, giving a quick thank you.
When you got into the room the doctor there handed you a gown to go change in while Buck took a seat at the side of the room, waiting for you to exit the washroom.
You came back and sat in the chair with a little help from Buck to sit up there comfortably.
“Alright Mrs. (L/N) you and your husband are here for the ultrasound correct?”
“Um he’s not my husband,” you chewed the inside of your cheek while regardless, the man next to you gave you a hand to hold.
You both shook your heads again.
The doctor looked confused and Buck sighed, filling in the blank,
“Baby daddy, from a one night stand,”
“Oh now that makes more sense,” the doctor nodded while he flipped through his papers.
You pursed your lips and frowned, opening your mouth to say something before closing it and looking back at Buck in confusion.
“And what do you mean by that?” you asked finally.
“He just seems out of your league is all,” the doctor shrugged and you opened your mouth in protest, taking your feet off the stirrups and looking at him with an utterly and completely offended expression, but before you could cuss out the doctor Buck came to your defence with a blunt,
“Well I think she’s hot, I mean, I slept with her so that’s kind of obvious,”
Now you looked over at the father of your unborn child, your face contorted with bewilderment.
“Buck, not the time!” you exclaimed and he shrugged. “And I want another doctor please,” you added while Buck nodded, helping you off the chair and back to the front desk, but before you left the exam room, Buck turned back to the doctor and shook his head and said,
“You have terrible taste in women,”
Once you had cleared things up with one of the receptionists and she had gotten you to see another doctor within small opening she had, heading to another exam room you finally turned to Buck exclaiming,
“What the hell was that?!”
“What he said or what I said?” he asked for clarification.
“At this point both,” you huffed. “I mean what you said was nice and all, but I mean-I-I just don’t know what to say back to that,”
“You don’t have to say anything it’s just the truth,”
“God how was I ever convinced to sleep with you,” you muttered.
“Hey I am very likeable, ask any of my co-workers!” he countered playfully.
“Really? I’d love to, especially whoever your superior officer is, that would be great,”
“Well theoretically it would be but practically they don’t really know I knocked you up,”
“Then tell em, I’m sure that’ll butter them up real nice for me,” you chuckled.
“You’re feisty,” Buck growled and you slapped his arm.
“Hands off Buckley,”
“If you say so,” he raised his hands up in defence before resting them on his hips. “But we both know you’d hook up with me without a second thought,”
You would have responded with another bright retort but the doctor walked in, a happy smile on her face, ready to do her job, and now you could only hold your breath and hope everything was okay.
This was going to be a field day. And who said you couldn’t have a little fun with Buck, after all, half the time he was a bit of a snarky asshole so you got to get a bit of payback this time.
Outside of the station, you slipped on a fake pregnancy belly before grabbing your purse and heading inside.
“Excuse me ma’am can I help you?” one of the firefighters asked, she wore large clear rimmed glasses and bore a sweet smile.
“Yeah,” you nodded. “I’m looking for Buck? Evan Buckley, he said he worked here,”
The woman’s eyes went wide, but she quickly composed herself, calling out to her colleagues.
“Hey, Chimney! Athena! Bobby! Come here!”
There was a small patter of footsteps and soon you were joined by three more people. Perfect this was exactly how you wanted this to go.
“You know this kind lady is looking for Buck, I haven’t seen him have you guys seen him?”
“Woah! (Y/N) what happened did I miss a month or five?!” Buck exclaimed, running down the steps to meet the group.
“Since when did you knock someone up?!” Athena countered, watching as the young man came to your side.
You couldn’t hold it together anymore, laughing and slipping off the fake belly.
“I knew you weren’t gonna tell them,” you punched his arm. “Anyways, you must be Hen, and Chimney, Athena?” you pointed to the officer and she nodded. “And Pops,” you grinned at Bobby. “Nice to meet you guys I’m (Y/N), the baby mama,”
“Nice to finally meet you,” Bobby smiled, lifting a hand to shake yours.
“Could I get you some food, something to drink? Tea? Water?” he asked.
“Actually some water would be nice,” you nodded.
Buck looked over towards you resting an arm on your shoulder.
“So did you just come over here to scare the crap outta me?” he asked.
“Pretty much, I mean isn’t that kind of my job?”
“Oh screw you,” he groaned, before wrapping an arm around your shoulder and motioning for everyone to head upstairs.
“So are you two a thing or…?”
“Nah,” you shook your head. “Just a not so one-night stand,”
“And this one actually took on some responsibility?” Athena asked. “This dumbass,”
“Good Lord woman cut me some slack!” Buck responded and shook his head.
“It’s alright hon, I know what you mean,” you sighed. “I look at this one and decide he’s the best one like I can't understand how, he looks like he's a complete dog. I swear I have better judgment under normal circumstances,” you laughed and Buck looked slightly offended.
“That’s no way to speak about the father of your unborn child,” he poked your stomach.
“You say that as if you’re not sleeping with like ten other women right now,” you rolled your eyes.
“I’m not, I swear it! Ask Pops or my roommates,” Buck exclaimed. “I promise I’m not,” he turned you around, looking seriously in your eyes.
You turned your head and looked at the firefighters surrounding you.
“I-Is he being serious I can’t tell if this is a joke?”
“(Y/N) come on have I ever lied to you?” Buck insisted.
“I’ve known you for like two months,” you shook your head. “Barely gives you time to lie to me I don’t know if it counts,”
“But I haven’t, and here I’ll make a deal right now, I won’t sleep with anyone, not while you're pregnant and we’ll work it from there,”
“Take the deal, we can enforce it!” Hen exclaimed. “I'm begging you please,”
“If it makes the woman happy then it’s a deal,” you nodded. “They’ll be watching you,”
Bobby came and handed you a glass of water and you thanked him, taking a seat on the couch.
“I like her, can we keep her?” Chimney asked Bobby and you laughed.
“Well, she’s welcome here whenever she wants,” Bobby nodded. “Buck’s family so now you are too,”
“Welcome to the party pal,” Chimney grinned.
“Stop it with the Die Hard references! It’s just more annoying now that I understand them,” Buck groaned and you patted his head.
“Is it typical for everyone to pick on him here?” you asked and they all nodded vehemently.
“Perfect, I’ll fit right in then,”
“I’m sure you will (N/N),” Buck whined. “At the expense of my poor poor heart,”
“Benefits of being the mother of his child I get a free pass to make as many jabs as I want, score,” you grinned. “Maybe this won’t be that bad,”
“Oh shit it’s that bad,” you gagged, leaning over the toilet bowl. Lucky for you Buck had stopped by to drop off some food from Bobby when this wonderful bout of morning sickness came.
“If I could trade places with you I would,” Buck rubbed your back gently, holding your hair out of your face.
“No you w-,” you gagged again heaving into the toilet. After your stomach stopped lurching for a moment you spat out whatever bile was in your mouth, panting from the exertion. “No, you wouldn’t,”
“You’re right I wouldn’t,” Buck admitted and you couldn’t help but let out a small painful chuckle. “I guess you don’t want those Cheetos now do you?”
“Don’t even talk about food right now Buckley,” you warned, leaning away from the toilet and back into his chest.
It was odd, the warm feeling that came to your stomach. You weren’t sure what it was, hoping it was maybe because of morning sickness, but something told you it was more than that. The way the feeling lingered, felt right.
Maybe it was just because you were carrying his child, but everything in your head screamed that he was a guy who would only hurt you but that didn’t stop your heart from wanting him.
He tucked your hair behind your ear, making sure to hold you loosely so he wouldn’t upset your stomach.
“Hey look I have the day off,” he whispered. “If you want I can stick around, we can just turn on the TV and take it easy? I can take care of dinner,”
“You mean you can call Bobby to bring some more food,”
“Actually I was just thinking going down to the station and eating with everyone else,”
“You know what, right now that doesn’t sound too bad,” you sighed, “You sure you don’t have some single dude thing to do today?”
“No dating or sex until at least after the nine months remember? I’m keeping my promise,”
“Being a good example for your kid then?”
“Figure if I’m gonna be a dad I should at least try to act like one a little,”
“This is by far the weirdest arrangement I’ve ever come across,” you noted. “Like I’m serious, I thought I was in this alone,”
“Well not only did you get me but you got the crew, at this point, it’s a bit of a package deal,”
“And I couldn't be happier, they’re great, treat me like family…” your thoughts drifted to your parents for a moment but you shook your head, you didn’t need to think of that now.
“Course they would, you’’re really likeable,”
You chuckled lightly with a nod.
“Yeah that’s why you knocked me up, isn't it? My smashing personality?”
“And your great ass,” he added and you slapped him lightly, too exhausted to do anything else.
“You wanna sleep for a bit?” Buck asked and you nodded. “Come on, let me help you up,”
You stood on wobbly legs, following him to the bed where he helped you get under the covers, pulling them up to your chin.
Just as he was about to leave the room you reached out for his hand, just barely linking your fingers, pulling him back gently to stay.
“D-Do you want me to lay down with you?” he asked.
You bit the inside of your cheek.
“Could you? This is the first time I’ve gotten sick like this since I was a kid and my mom always used to stay with me, but…”
“Yeah, Yeah of course I can stay,”
Buck lifted the blankets and slid into the bed, carefully wrapping an arm around you and allowing you to readjust your position.
He gently rested his chin on the top of your head while you laid against his chest.
It was nice and you hated how you knew you really could get used to it.
“Chim you ready?” you called to the firefighter as he came up the stairs.
“Ready for what?” Bobby asked curiously while you both sat at the table.
“They eat like 15 meals a day together,” Buck explained. “It’s really hurting my pocket so Chim you better be paying for the diapers,”
“Seriously after five months of this, I’ve got you covered,”
“I’m surprised your appetite grew so early,” Bobby added. “When my wife was pregnant it took at least until month seven before she started eating our entire house inside out,”
“Well it hasn’t grown that much,” you said honestly. “Hmm how do I put this, have you watched Bones?” you asked and the man nodded.
“Think of me as Aubrey, I could literally eat an elephant by myself,”
“Yeah to be perfectly honest I’m hoping this-,”
“Ah no no no,” Buck plugged his ears and you gave him a look.
“I was gonna say, kid! This kid doesn’t need to inherit my appetite.” you tossed your hands in the air and facepalmed. “We-No I just found out the gender of the baby and Buck keeps saying he doesn’t want to know,”
“That’s because the surprise is the best part,” he countered and you rolled your eyes.
“You say that as if you didn’t just have a vocalized internal battle when I told you I knew.”
“Okay, but what is it,” he whined.
“See!” you exclaimed.
“Oh, I wanna know!” Chimney grinned and you leaned over and whispered it in his ear.
“Me too,” Bobby nodded, walking over to you.
“What are we doing?” Hen asked, making her way towards the kitchen.
“We’re finding out the gender of the baby before Buck,” Chimney explained.
“Oo 20 bucks says he’s gonna break before the end of the day,”
“No one’s gonna take those odds cause you’re damn right,” you chuckled, now telling Bobby.
“Awe that’s so great (Y/N) I’m really happy for you,” he smiled.
“Thanks, Bobby, now if you could convince your work son to just grow a pair and let me tell him that would be great,” you grinned. “Hen do you wanna know?” you asked and the lady nodded, jogging up to you so you could tell her.
“Awe it’s gonna be a little-,”
“Hey!” Buck exclaimed, eyes widening and just motioning to the air around them.
“Come on Buck she didn’t say it was gonna be a boy,” Chimney kicked his feet back and took a handful of blueberries, putting them in his mouth.
Buck’s eyes went wide and you chuckled with a sigh.
“Surprise!” you said lamely. “You’re having a son,”
Buck’s hands went to cover his mouth and you gave him a bright smile as he ran over to you, lifting you in his arms and pressing a kiss to your cheek.
“Careful Buck,” you laughed. “I take that as you being happy about this?”
“Very,” he nodded. “Wow, I’m gonna have a son, Pops you’re gonna be Grand Pops,” he looked over at Bobby who rolled his eyes at the comment.
“If you guys are taking name suggestions can I throw in Chimney junior?”
“He’s not your kid Chim, he can't be junior unless it’s yours, and Chim isn’t even your real name,”
“Really?” he asked, surprised and Hen just shook her head.
“I don’t know, the name will come when it comes,” you nodded. “Right?”
“Mhmm, finally something we can agree on,” Buck pressed another kiss to your cheek and you hoped they couldn’t see how flustered you were. So instead you just held him closer, hiding the warmth in your face from him, but making whatever bubbling feelings inside you all the more obvious to the three firefighters surrounding you.
“(N/N)! You ready?”
Buck walked through your apartment tossing his keys on the table and looking around.
Buck walked into your room, hearing the soft cries from the washroom.
He quickly ran inside, seeing you curled up on the floor in between the wall and the bathtub. Your hair was tied back in a messy ponytail and your eyes were red and puffy, making him assume it had been a while that you were like this.
“Woah, what happened,” he asked, bending down next to you and picking up your phone but you inched further away from it.
“N-No take it away,” you begged. “I don’t wanna be near it,”
“Okay, Okay,” Buck assured, quickly removing it from sight and sitting down next to you and pulling you in his arms.
“What was it?” he asked. “You sick? Did you see something that bothered you?”
“My parents,” you whispered. “Again,”
“Shit,” he muttered. “What did they say this time?” he asked.
“I-I-I just wanted to tell them I’m fine and healthy,” you sobbed lightly into his shirt. “But they think I’m making a mistake. They didn’t want me to keep it, they think I-I’m some whore that goes sleeping around,”
Buck cupped your face in his hand wiping away your tears with his thumb and delicately pressing his lips to your forehead, hoping it might offer some comfort, not knowing it really just made things so much more complicated.
“What happened to ‘we’ll support you no matter what’? Is that just a white lie parents tell their kids?” you whispered.
“I don’t know (N/N),” he admitted in a soft voice. “But I do know I hate seeing you like this,” he pressed. “It’s not good for you and it’s not good for the baby, a-and when you live on the other side of town I can’t be there every time something happens,”
“Buck, what are you saying?” you asked.
“I… I want you to move in with me,” he said quietly.
“W-What?” you faltered, turning slightly to look him in the eye.
“It’s close to my work and that means I can be close to you so if you need me I’m there,”
“Just think about it okay, I hate seeing you like this and I wanna help,” he insisted, tucking some hair that made it out of your ponytail behind your ear.
You took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay… You know what, what the heck,” you nodded. “I’ll move in with you, it’ll be good for-for the baby,” you said, your eyes trailing down to your growing stomach, a visible bump now having formed. “It’ll be good he’s close to his dad,”
Buck pulled you in tight again, resting his chin on the top of your head.
“One weird family… and (N/N)?”
“When we tell this little guy we’ll support him no matter what… it’s not gonna be a white lie. I promise,”
“Alright Pops what are we making today?” you asked, coming over to Bobby’s side while he cooked.
“Your favourite,” he chuckled. “Figured you’d appreciate that,”
“Oh you’re the best,” you grinned, stepping up on the stool and sitting on the counter next to the stove. “In another life, you would’ve made an amazing chef,”
“So I’ve been told,” he nodded. “How’s the move been with Buck?”
“Not too bad actually, he makes breakfast which is nice if it’s not burnt,”
“You know we actually banned him from cooking here,” Bobby explained and you frowned curiously.
“God, what did he do? No, I take it back, what genes are my child inheriting?”
“We do a rotation for dinner sometimes and it was maybe his first week here and he somehow almost burnt the kitchen down making pasta salad. Pasta salad. You only need to boil water for that! And can you imagine, a firehouse on fire!”
“Oh good Lord,” you shook your head while Bobby offered you a spoon to taste what he was making. “Is he really that dumb?”
“I don’t know if dumb is the right word,” Bobby pursed his lips together. “It’s more like could be smart but he doesn’t think before he does stuff, you know?”
“Yeah, I can see that,” you agreed. “But even aside from all that he’s just… he’s Buck y’know,” you smiled softly to yourself.
“Yeah,” Bobby nodded, knowing that look anywhere. “I know what you mean,”
“He’s been really great through all this,” you found yourself admitting, “I really wasn’t sure what I was expecting when he said he wanted to be involved, but I don’t think this was it,”
“Yeah, I've learnt that when it counts Buck rises to the occasion,” Bobby exclaimed. “And boy if that kid doesn’t think you count. I haven’t seen him as happy as he is now, while also simultaneously being responsible and-and using a little will power and it’s just something all of us didn’t think we’d see,”
“Glad I could be of service,” you put a hand out to shake Bobby’s but he pulled you into a hug instead.
“You’re family (Y/N), don’t forget that,”
“I’ll try not to,” you smiled softly, trying to push back the tears welling in your eyes. “Really though Bobby, thank you,”
“Of course. Anytime,”
The way your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach could not be attributed to anything but what was being shown on your TV screen.
Don’t you dare Evan Buckley I swear to God-
He dared.
There had been a landslide after a minor earthquake, only a 4.2 in magnitude, nothing LA wasn’t already used to. The fact of the matter was, the city wasn’t built in the smartest way. People didn’t stay away from the dirt mountains causing things like this to happen, harming normal citizens and putting the first responders who needed to save them in danger.
In a way, the landslide was kind of like a mix of an avalanche and earthquake. Like the avalanche dirt would slide down, trapping whatever was in its way and like an earthquake, there was normally more to come afterwards.
Right now from what you could see a poorly placed restaurant was almost covered in rocks and dirt, damaging the structural integrity of the building and making it difficult for some of the firefighters to get in there.
But that never stopped Buck.
You could see behind the reporter how he rushed into the building, right before another rumble of rocks and you swore you could feel the baby kick as if he was telling you he saw it too.
Looking past the entrance to the restaurant on the screen you were able to see the pile of rocks just waiting to roll down the hill, probably crushing anyone left in the restaurant.
Bobby and Hen pulled out a few uninjured people while Chim came around with a few others pulling somebody out of the debris on a gurney.
“Firemen have been able to evacuate all except one child still remaining in the building,” the reporter stated and you grimaced knowing that meant he wouldn’t leave unless he managed to get the kid.
“Come on Buck, Come on,” you whispered, balling your hands into fists, staring so intently for any sign of him coming out.
Not before long, you heard a rumble and quick,
“Get out of the way!” from Bobby, seeing the rocks tumble down the hill. Quickly you grabbed the remote and shut it off.
That didn’t just happen. You didn’t just watch him get crushed in a building.
You could feel your throat closing and your heart start to beat erratically while you stared at the blank screen.
If he was gone, who was going to raise the baby with you? Drive you to the hospital? What happened to, I’m all in?
You frantically wiped the tears from your eyes, grabbing the tissue box and clutching it close.
No, it wasn’t real, he could have gotten out. Buck always got out.
You fumbled around through your tears, trying to find your phone, dialling Bobby’s number knowing you’d have better luck getting a hold of him.
The phone rang through to voicemail and you hung up and tried again, and again, and again, even switching to Hen and Chimney, hell even Athena if she knew more than you but nobody was picking up; you could only assume that was because what they needed to say to you couldn’t be said over the phone.
An ungodly noise escaped your throat as you staggered back into the kitchen table, grabbing onto the edge for support.
Your body was quick to respond to the stress, sending a shooting pain in your lower abdomen causing you to hold on to your belly and curse mother nature for making Braxton-Hicks contractions a thing.
You bit back a groan of pain while the tears streamed down your face. It was just too much. Too much to think about, too much to feel, you wanted Buck here. More than anything you wanted him by your side.
The way he supported you, treated you like family, even bringing you into his own, the feelings of love and acceptance were unparalleled when you were with him and you never wanted it to end. But all good things come to an end, right?
After around an hour, still no word from anyone at the station house, your tears had calmed slightly, just waiting for someone, anyone to call or knock on the door.
What you were expecting was for it to click unlocked and open, in walking what looked like an extremely exhausted and worn-out Evan Buckley.
You quickly pushed yourself up off the couch and ran up to him, giving him a prompt slap across the face before pulling him into your arms, letting yourself sob into his shoulder.
“Don’t do that!” you exclaimed. “Don’t go making me think you’re dead, a-a damn phone call Buck that’s all it would have taken!”
“Hey, hey I’m sorry, the cell towers were down,” he gripped onto you, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“You can’t just-just leave me okay,” you whispered “It’s not just me, there’s-there’s the baby a-and as much as I want to think I can do it by myself I can’t. I can’t,” you sobbed.
“I know,” he nodded, pressing his forehead to yours, a thumb brushing away your tears. “I’m here I promise. I’m here for both of you,”
“I-I saw you! I saw you in the building,”
Buck gently started to move you away from the door, shutting it with his foot and pulling you along through to his room.
“Come on let’s just lay down a bit okay,” he said quietly. “It’s gonna be fine I’m not going anywhere,”
You listened to him carefully lowering yourself down into the covers, watching as he made his way around to the other side, coming next to you wrapping an arm underneath you, his free hand resting on your stomach.
You grabbed onto his shirt tightly, your head tucked into his chest.
“Why did you go back in?” you whispered.
“There was a kid (N/N), a-and I just kept thinking of you and the baby and if anything happened I’d… I don’t know what I’d do with myself,”
“‘Thena’s right, you damn Buckley’s have hearts of gold,” you sniffed, looking up at him and ran a hand through his hair.
“Really? She said that?” he chuckled through some light tears.
“Mhmm,” you nodded. “I-I just...When I thought you… I’ve never felt that way before and I know it’s in the job description, but… you’re gonna be a dad,”
Buck nodded, hugging you again, peppering your hair with kisses.
“I know, I promise I’m gonna be careful,” he assured you. “I’m gonna be there, I’m gonna look after you, I’m gonna do everything to keep you safe. I promise,”
“And I’m counting on you to keep it,”
“Come on you guys barely have any photos,” Hen pushed, kicking her feet up on the table.
“Yeah come time when the little one wants to see any pictures of the pregnancy, what are you gonna show him?” Athena asked.
“I don’t know, I just-photos haven’t been at the front of my mind right now,” you chuckled lightly.
“Then let us take them,” Bobby suggested. “Here come on let’s do one right now,”
“Bobby I’m not sure that’s a good idea-,”
“Okay if not for you then for me,” he smiled. “It’s my work grandbaby,” he joked and you couldn’t help but laugh along with the rest of them.
“Alright,” you sighed, pushing yourself up with slight difficulty, accustoming yourself to the added weight in the front. “Let’s do this, Buck up you get,”
“M-Me?” he asked, pointing to himself.
“Yeah you’re the father of the baby are you not?” you asked and he shook his head with a smile, hopping up and wrapping his arms around you from behind.
“Okay say cheese!” Bobby grinned and you and Buck both smiled for the camera, allowing Bobby to take a few pictures of the two of you together.
“You guys look adorable,” Hen cooed. “This kid’s gonna be lucky, he’s really got a great pick for parents,”
You chuckled lightly, “Thanks Hen, only a few months to go, then we’ll see if we’re really up for the challenge,”
You took a seat back on the couch and Buck sat on the ground, next to your legs facing your stomach.
“You gonna talk to him?” you asked. “I can go get that microphone thing your mom sent-,”
“Nah it’s okay we’ll just do it the old-fashioned way,” he grinned. “Well what to say,” he sighed. “Hmm, well kid it’s me, your dad-,”
“Tell him something he doesn’t know,” Chim jabbed and Buck rolled his eyes.
“Well, did you know that clouds come from these factory machines-,”
“Woah, woah, woah,” you stopped him, holding your stomach. “Did you just say clouds come from factories?”
“Yeah, don’t they?” he asked and you burst into a fit of laughter.
“Buck you can't be giving our kid false information before he’s born!”
“Wait they don’t?! What is that then?!” he exclaimed.
“Evaporated water that's condensing in the sky idiot,” Athena noted with a chuckle and Buck shook his head while yours was thrown back in laughter. He pressed a soft kiss to your stomach,
“Sorry little man, maybe you shouldn’t listen to dad,” he admitted, resting his forehead against the baby bump and letting out a chuckle. “God where did I come up with that one,”
Neither of you could see Hen pulling out her phone and snapping a few more photos of you, texting them to Bobby and Athena.
It seemed so obvious to everyone but you and Buck that you were both clearly in love with each other. As weird as the situation was, there was a connection there, an emotional connection and they only hoped you could grab onto it before things changed.
Working at eight months pregnant was not pretty. Your feet were swollen and you were exhausted from standing all day.
You loved your job, seeing small newborn babies every day, the way their parents would light up when they held them, you couldn’t help but hope that’s what was in it for you.
“Good Lord does the back pain get any better?” you asked one of your patients, resting a hand on your lower back and trying to stretch it out.
“Unfortunately not, it gets worse,” Laura sighed.
“But I’d say it’s worth it,” you smiled, grinning at the small baby in the cot.
“(N/N) your shift is up,” Cecelia came into the room and let you know.
“Well that’s my cue Laura, I’ll see you tomorrow,” you waved.
“See you (N/N),”
You grabbed your things and clocked out, heading into your car and driving back to Buck’s apartment.
You weren’t expecting him to be home, he had a shift after all.
You unlocked the door and pushed it open, surprised when you were overcome with a welcoming aroma and warm lighting.
“Buck?” you called, walking into the apartment, still clad in scrubs.
“Oh hey, you’re back home!” Buck grinned, stepping out of the kitchen and tossing the dishrag to the side.
“What is all this?” you asked, taking off your jacket.
“I just thought you might be able to use a bit of a-well I don’t know, just something nice. Here,” he smiled, taking a bag off the couch and handed it to you. “I remembered when we were looking for baby clothes at Macy’s you said you liked this dress so I thought it might be nice to get it for you,”
“Buck,” you cooed, looking inside to see the floral pattern dress. “Let me go put this on then we can eat. Did Bobby come over and cook?”
“Nope this one’s all me,” he grinned.
“No way” you laughed. “I’ll believe it when I see it, Buckaroo,”
“Just go put the dress on,” he rolled his eyes.
You nodded coming to press a thank-you kiss to his cheek before heading off to your room and taking off your scrubs and trying on the dress.
You had to applaud Buck, he managed to get something that fit you perfectly.
With a tired yawn, you walked back out to the dining room where the table was nicely set and Buck was bringing over some food.
“Candles, my favourite food, you really went all out,” you noted while he pulled out your chair and pressed a kiss to the top of your head.
“We’ll come on, a guy can’t treat the mother of his child?” he asked. “And you look amazing,”
“You don’t have to say that, I look terrible, I’m eight months pregnant and just finished a twelve-hour shift,”
Buck only served you some food and shook his head, handing you a glass of non-alcoholic wine.
“(N/N), do I have to tell you the same thing I told the doctor when we went into the first appointment,”
“Oh shut up,” you blushed.
“Hey I was thinking, I have a name,” he suggested.
“A name? The wind blew you in a direction?” you asked, eating a bite of salad.
“Yeah,” he nodded with a small smile. “It’s just after everything that Bobby’s done for us and I-well I think we should name him Nash,”
“Nash,” you smiled to yourself. “I-I love that,”
Buck chuckled, “Glad we could agree on something, I’m not gonna lie I was a little nervous bringing it up,”
“Why? You think I was gonna fight you on it?” you asked.
“Honestly I wasn’t sure what I was expecting,” he took a deep breath. “I just want to make sure your happy, with everything,”
“And I am Buck, really you’ve been more than great,” you assured him, putting down your fork. “But what about you? Are you happy? A-And I mean we haven’t talked much about what happens after the baby is born-,”
“I want you to stay here,” he interrupted quickly. “I mean if you’re okay with that and that’s something you want, but… I want to be present. I’m not gonna be the dad that flaked on his kid,”
“And that would make you happy?” you asked.
“More than anything,” he reached out and squeezed your hand.
“What about you getting your life back to normal?” you asked. “Isn’t it kind of a bit of a cock block if I’m here?”
Your heart clenched as you said the words, but that’s just how it was. You and Buck were separate people, not a couple, just happened to be having a child together.
“We’ll figure everything out when the time comes, I’ve still got a month of celibacy to go,” he chuckled. “Don’t worry about it (N/N), I’ve got it,”
“Course you do, you’re Evan freaking Buckley,” you grinned, reaching back for your fork with your free hand and continuing to eat the delicious food Buck had allegedly prepared.
Right about now life felt really good.
“Oh my God!” you cried in pain, lurching forward on the hospital bed. “I hate you so much right now Evan!”
Buck’s knuckles were turning white as you squeezed onto his hand so hard he thought all his joints were gonna pop.
“Come on (N/N) you got this! He’s almost here!” Buck exclaimed in encouragement.
“I can’t,” you sobbed with exhaustion, falling back down to the bed. “I can’t it’s too hard,”
“(Y/N), (Y/N) look at me,” Buck insisted, turning your face to look him in the eye. “Who are we?”
“Huh?” you frowned.
“Who are we (N/N) come on!”
“We’re… we’re Buck and (N/N),” you panted.
“And what do Buck and (N/N) do?” he asked.
“We-We prank people? Buck where the hell are you going with this?”
“Yeah sure we do that, but you know what we don’t do?” he grinned. “We don’t give up, now come on gorgeous show me what you got,”
You took a deep breath, squeezing his hand and nodding before letting him go stand with the obstetrician.
“Okay we’re going to start pushing (Y/N) are you ready?”
“No?” you asked and Buck shook his head in a chuckle. “Fine yeah, let’s get this little S.O.B. out of me,” you nodded.
“Alright start pushing in three, two, one,”
On the doctor’s count, you started to push, crying out in pain as you did so.
“Hey, hey! I can see his head!” Buck noted. “Come on (N/N) you got this, keep going!”
You pushed again at the doctor’s instruction, almost laughing when you heard Buck say,
“Oh, well yeah definitely a boy,”
“One more (Y/N), can you give me one more?” the doctor asked and you nodded pushing one more time, finally hearing the cry of your baby and falling back onto the bed while Buck came to tend to you, wiping away the sweat from your forehead with a spare towel.
“You did so well (N/N),” he smiled, happy tears in his eyes. “You were amazing,”
“Oh me? I did nothing y’know just carried a baby for nine months then kicked him out of my uterus, what’s new?” you chuckled tiredly and he laughed along with you, pressing a firm kiss to your temple.
“Miss (L/N), Mr. Buckley, I think you’ve got someone who’d like to meet you,” the doctor said softly walking over to you with a wrapped bundle. She handed you the baby and you carefully adjusted your arms to hold him comfortably.
“Hey baby,” you smiled, whispering quietly, not wanting to disturb the small child. “I’m your mama, and this is your daddy,” you said, turning to look up at Buck, the tears clearly welling in his eyes. “It’s nice to finally meet you, right, Buck?”
“Yeah,” he nodded with a sniff. “It’s real nice,”
You lowered your head and pressed a gentle kiss to his head before lifting him up slightly and started to hand him to Buck.
“You want to hold him?” you asked and he nodded his head carefully, reaching out his arms and enveloping the small baby in them.
“Hi Nash,” he sniffed again. “Jesus kid it hasn’t even been five minutes and I’d give the entire world to you if I could,”
“I’m sure you’ll find a way,” you yawned, the exhaustion finally catching up with you.
“You should rest (N/N),” he whispered, leaning down and resting his forehead on yours. “You’re just… you’re amazing okay?”
“Okay,” you whispered back. “But I can be amazing after I sleep,”
“Of course you can,” he chuckled. “I’ll be right here, rest well,”
“Someplace for a first outing,” you looked over at Buck and he shrugged. “Come one he’ll love the story when we tell it to him. Plus I forgot to tell everyone you had the baby until yesterday so either we come here or they go to the hospital and find an otherwise occupied room,”
“Alright, alright,” you nodded, taking Nash out of his car seat while Buck took care of the baby bag.
When you entered the station you could hear a very loud and obvious,
“They’re here!” from Chimney, causing you and Buck to laugh, quickly making your way upstairs to meet with everyone.
“Oh my God look who’s here!” Hen exclaimed giddily, making her way towards you and taking a peek at the small baby. “Guys he’s so precious,” she cooed. “And I can’t believe you didn’t tell us for a week that she had already had the baby!” Hen looked over at Buck and slapped him upside the head.
“Ow!” Buck groaned, rubbing the back of his head. “Do you want to meet the kid or not?”
“Fine, fine,” she rolled her eyes and Bobby, Athena and Chimney quickly came to join you guys.
“So does the little guy have a name?” Athena asked curiously.
“Yeah he does,” you nodded. “The wind blew us in a direction and that direction was Nash.” you grinned looking over at Bobby who seemed incredibly surprised by the revelation.
“Nash as in Captain Nash?” Chimney asked and you and Buck nodded.
“Thought it was appropriate after everything you helped us with,” Buck explained. “W-We hope you don’t mind it kind of just happened and we agreed on it,”
“N-No it’s… it’s really thoughtful,” Bobby nodded, trying to keep his composure, “Can I-,”
“Hold him? Of course,” you nodded, placing the baby in his arms, watching as the group crowded around him.
“Man, Bobby’s gonna make this kid fat as hell,” Hen muttered and you and Buck shook your heads with a laugh.
“As long as you guys love him, honestly, this kid could do a lot worse,” Buck noted, wrapping an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his side.
“Yeah, and he’s got two great parents to walk him through life,” Athena gave you both a smile. “And a whole fire station too,”
“Peach sister!” Chimney held up a hand and Athena humoured him with a high five.
Station 118 finally, after nine long months, had its newest addition, little Nash Buckley.
“Finally managed to get him down?” you asked, holding a mug of hot tea and looking over at the view of the city.
“Yeah, he was a bit fussy, but what am I gonna expect, he’s a mama’s boy,”
Buck made his way towards you, standing right next to you and looking down at his feet.
“You know I’ve been thinking about our agreement, you know the one about me not sleeping with or dating anyone while you're pregnant,”
“Hmm,” you hummed, glancing at him for a moment. “Oh yeah, that,” you nodded. “Wanna get back in the game? Go back to whatever it was you were doing before?”
“Actually… yeah, b-but no,” he nodded. “I-uh I met someone and I wanna, I wanna do right by her. Try and do things differently. Do them right, not like the old Buck,”
“She must be special,” you sighed. “Does she… know about me? And Nash?” you asked, placing your mug on the nearby table, finally looking up at Buck.
“Yeah I think she does,” he smiled with a soft chuckle.
You swallowed thickly but continued.
“Well, who is she? What does she do?”
“Um, you see,” Buck said, licking his lips and taking your hands in his. “S-She’s a nurse and she’s got this amazing laugh a-and she just so happens to be the mother of my child,”
“(Y/N), just… just hear me out,” he interrupted you. “You and I we-we work together, something about you just makes me want to be a better person and I wanna make you feel-,”
“Buck shut up,” you whispered, slipping your hands out of his and grabbing his face, firmly pressing your lips to his while his hands wrapped around your waist.
Months, you had been waiting months to do that. And when your lips finally parted, slightly swollen and chuckling while you took in some air.
“I guess you were right,” you murmured while he continued to press soft kisses to the corner of your lips.
“About what? I’m almost never right,”
“You said given the chance I’d hook up with you, without a second thought. Let’s just say there aren’t many thoughts going through my head right now,”
Buck laughed, pulling you into his arms, allowing you to rest your chin on his shoulder.
“Guess everything kind of worked out didn’t it?” he noted.
“Yeah, I guess it did,”
Buck slipped his hand into your hair, pulling you back gently and pressing another kiss to your lips, his forehead resting against yours only to be interrupted by soft cries coming from your bedroom.
“Nash can mom have like three minutes of peace?” you whined, stomping your foot and Buck laughed.
“Well if mom wants she can stay in dad’s room tonight, get some real rest?”
“Mom would like that,” you nodded, pressing one last kiss to his lips before going to tend to Nash. “She would like that a lot,”
“Buck there’s some people out from who wanna talk to you,” Hen called. “Looks like reporters,”
“Huh, okay,” Buck wiped his hands and nodded, jogging down the stairs and meeting the reporter out front.
“Hey, firefighter Buckley right?” the reporter asked.
“Yeah, just call me Buck,” he nodded and offered his hand for her to shake.
“Well Buck I’m Carolina Saunders, with one of the local news stations, we were wondering if you might be able to answer some questions for us about a recent call you had,”
“Oh yeah, um for sure,” he nodded as the woman with her held up the camera.
“So is it hard to manage being a firefighter and just living life. You’re what in your mid-twenties,”
“Yeah I’m twenty-five,” Buck nodded. “I don’t know, shift work is tricky sometimes but we make it work,”
“And what about your calls, was this past call one of the most interesting or different types of emergencies,”
“I’m still a rookie,” Buck explained. “So I don’t have nearly as much experience as half the people at the station, but uh that call was a hard one.”
“But you saved four people,”
“Yeah, but it doesn't get less hard when you lose people,” he explained. “No matter how many times it happens,”
Carolina nodded and moved onto the next question.
“Well out Twitter seems to be blowing up,” she noted, just as your car pulled up into the lot. “Everyone’s wondering if you’re single,”
“Um, I am-,” he cut himself off when he saw you were struggling at getting Nash out of the car. “Could you excuse me a moment?”
He ran over to you, saying a quick hi before unbuckling his son from his car seat and cradling him in his arms while you took care of the baby bags.
“I gotta go back quickly,” he said, “You’ll be okay?”
“Yeah, go finish the interview I’ll be okay,”
Buck jogged back to Carolina and apologized.
“Sorry about that,” he chuckled. “What was the question again?”
“Oh just something from our Twitter followers, they’re asking if you’re single,” she laughed.
“Well I’m not sure if you could tell from this little guy, but no I’m not,” he smiled, looking over at you. “That’s my girlfriend and this is our son,”
“Oh, could we ask her some questions?”
“Sure if she wants,” he nodded. “Babe, c’mere,” he motioned with his head and you nodded.
“Hi,” you smiled and the reporter introduced yourself and asked if she could ask you some questions. “Sure,” you agreed.
“So what’s it like dating a first responder?”
“It’s hard sometimes, we’ve had some close calls but Buck loves it, I can’t imagine taking that away from him,” you explained.
“Oh that’s so sweet,” Carolina smiled. “Well we’ll let you go for now, but we’ve got permission from your Captain to stick around a bit longer and just get some filler footage if you don’t mind,”
“Yeah, yeah for sure,” Buck nodded and then turned his attention to you grinning like an idiot and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.
“Hey,” you chuckled.
“Hi,” he responded. “You good?”
“Great,” you assured him just a few of the people from the station house came outside to greet you.
“Oh look who’s here,” Bobby grinned, holding his hands out to Buck just as Nash mimicked his namesake and babbled at him to be held.
“You wanna see Bobby?” Buck asked. “You wanna go see Bobby?”
Nash squealed in delight as Buck swooped him over to Bobby who tossed him a little in the air before bringing him back down and peppering his face with kisses.
“Oh hey baby,” Hen smiled. “Nash seems to be having the time of his life with Bobby,”
“What can I say, my baby picks favourites,” you chuckled and hugged Hen.
“I’m not complaining,” Bobby grinned while Nash tried to bite off his nose.
“He teething?” Hen asked and you nodded.
“He loves chewing on Buck’s fingers, it’s gonna start hurting pretty soon, but for now it’s pretty cute,”
“We got Denny a teething necklace, it worked like a charm,”
“Oh I’ve seen those,” you nodded, “Hey Buck maybe we should think about getting one?”
“Yeah, ask long as it keeps my fingers out of his mouth. We can get him some of those chew things you put in the freezer too,”
“Oh look at Buck being all like a super dad,” Chimney chuckled and came over to join them.
“What can I say, I can be responsible,” Buck puffed out his chest only to be slapped in the head by Athena. “Ow woman!”
“Give him a break ‘Thena he’s good,” you chuckled, wrapping your arms around your boyfriend. “Real good,”
“So when’s the wedding?” Bobby asked. “Cause you guys have got a perfect ring bearer,”
“If I get anything to say, soon, but we all know that never happens,” Buck chuckled.
“You’ll never know if you don’t ask,” you said in a sing-song voice.
“Count on it gorgeous, it’ll happen,”
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feedback and reblogs are always appreciated! send me an ask if you want to be added to my taglist (please specify) - mimi
@just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @hesvoid34 @screwunsaidemily @katrina765 @bright-forever-drabbles @awaywithtime @mystic-writings
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nurse-buckley · 2 months ago
Love Lines
Fandom: 9-1-1 Word Count: 742 Pairing: Evan Buckley x Reader Warnings: None Tagslist: @firemedicdiaz, @fireladybuckley, @winterreader-nowwriter, @dayrin085, @spnheartfic, @alexandrianicolegrey-oc, @mrspeacem1nusone, @park-it-here-bitches, @iamasimpingh0e, @gigglyparker (want to be added to my tagslsit? Just send me a message!) Prompt: Fluff “I’ve never been more in love with you than right now.” Written for @911readerinsertweek​ Beta’d by the amazing @firemedicdiaz thank you lovely 💕
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It’d been another shift from hell and the only thought getting you through the day was going home to Buck. You got out of your car, taking a moment to breathe, to forget about the day and focus on enjoying the evening you had planned out. Buck had asked you to run to the store on your way home, using the excuse to buy yourself some new candles and bubble bath, content to spend the evening pampering yourself.
As you got to the door to Buck’s apartment you knocked on the door, waiting for your boyfriend to answer. You knew he was home - his Jeep was parked in its usual spot outside - so you were a little confused as to why he wasn’t answering. You set your bags down, fishing the keys from your pocket before inserting them into the lock and pushing open the door.
The house was dark save for the glow of candles that were littered around illuminating the apartment. You walked further in, setting your bags on the counter, calling out to your partner.
You didn’t hear a reply. Looking around the apartment once more, you noticed something strange. A ribbon was tied from one end of the room, wrapping around the apartment, leading up the stairs into the loft. Every few steps was a note or item tied to it. Taking a step forward, you carefully untied the first note, recognising Buck’s handwriting right away.
I’ll never forget the first time we met, Maddie and Chim taking me to that karaoke bar in an attempt to cheer me up. I’m surprised you stayed considering their singing. I saw you and knew right away you were someone I’d like to get to know.
You smile to yourself, reliving the memory of that night, the night you’d gone to the bar trying to forget all of your problems and have a good time. The last thing you expected was to run into him, let alone have that interaction turn into the relationship the pair of you had now. You couldn’t imagine a life without Buck.
Taking a step forward, you found the note you’d slipped him that night, the bar receipt with your phone number on it. You were surprised he’d kept it all this time. Another few steps and there was a photo of the pair of you on your first date, the awkwardness between the two of you now long since forgotten.
You continued through the apartment, stories of highs and lows of your relationship over the years. Following the ribbon up the stairs you notice the candles and rose petals covering the bed.
“Buck?” you called out again.
You noticed the final note on the bedside table where the string ended, your name beautifully written on the front. You set the handful of notes, photographs and memories on the side, picking up the last note and turning it over.
If I could have just one wish, I would wish to wake up everyday to the sound of your breath on my neck, the warmth of your lips on my cheek, the touch of your fingers on my skin, and the feel of your heart beating with mine, knowing that I could never find that feeling with anyone other than you.
A tear rolled down your cheek as you finished the note, just in time to see Buck walking out from his hiding space in the bathroom. The nervousness in his posture was obvious, wringing his hands, the awkward smile you loved so much spread across his face.
He cleared his throat, taking a moment to calm his nerves, “Y/N. When I met you, I knew you were the one I wanted to share the rest of my life with. When I think about you, I know that no one else will ever hold my heart the way you do.”
Your breath caught in your throat as you saw him pull out a small black velvet box from his back pocket as he knelt before you. He opened it up, revealing a ring that was just so perfect, and so your style. “Will you make me the happiest man alive and marry me?”
You crouched to his level, placing a hand on his cheek, taking a few seconds to revel in the moment.
“Evan Buckley, I have never been more in love with you than right now,” you breathed out, “of course I’ll marry you.”
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starlightbuckleys · 3 days ago
in this love you can rest | 2.1k words
and buck looks at him like he’s told the most obvious joke in the world and eddie’s completely missed the punchline, his eyes tender and loving and warm, and eddie thinks he gets it now. he knows that his life would never be the same without buck either, knows that he would eternally feel like there was something missing, an incomplete puzzle. and suddenly, eddie thinks, to hell with timing.
(or; eddie doesn't go home at the end of 5x06)
continue reading on ao3
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klairewritesthings · 8 days ago
Multi-intrument playing Buck is so on brand for him but drummer!Buck fits so well with my ADHD Buck HC that I can't believe I didn't think of it before!
Buck starts playing the drums in middle school, mostly because of Maddie. He'd been tapping out beats with his fingers for years, thumping out rhythms on what ever was closest to him. Maddie could always tell Buck's mood by his beats. When he was excited Buck tapped fast and hard, if he was bored the beat would change up a few times before he settled on something he liked. When Buck needed to focus the drumming was quiet, but always there. All of Buck's endless energy turned into music, and Maddie loved it. His parents, on the other hand, didn't.
His mother thought it was rude, his father annoying, just another "Evan quirk" as they liked to call it. Buck tried to stop, but his energy usually manifested somewhere else. His foot tapped, his knuckles popped, and when it gets all too much he chased the adrenalin. Anything for his brain to just stop for a few minutes, for the energy flowing under his skin to just still.
When Buck breaks his ankle, he comes home to an electric drum set in the corner of his room. Headphones and sound-absorbing silicone let the music fill his own head while his parents stay quiet. Maddie never told him it was her, but part of him knew. He carried around his drum sticks everywhere, tapping out new patterns on books or desks until his teachers took them away or his parents huffed a "go to your room, Evan".
He doesn't get to play on a real set when he travels, but he brings his drum sticks with him, and when he needs a little extra cash he creates makeshift ones with whatever junk he can find and lets strangers drop dollar bills and candy wrappers into a baseball cap. When he finally settles down at the 118 he retires the sticks, but beats are still drummed out on his thigh during drives or on the table during lunch. His team doesn't mind, and sometimes he catches Eddie smiling fondly at him.
For Christopher's birthday, Buck buys him his own drum set, and Chris begs Buck to play. Buck puts it off for awhile, patiently teaching Chris beats instead, but then there's a team dinner and somehow, after several beers and a lost game of charades, Buck ends up picking up the drumsticks and playing for the first time in years. While most everyone stares at him in open-mouth shock, Maddie just smiles knowingly and ruffles his hair when he finishes.
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