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talaok · 10 months

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Hey. I have an idea for pedro and reader

The reader's ex calls her in the middle of the night begging her back to him and the reader gets out the bedroom trying not to wake pedro up and avoid any fight but he wakes up and gets jealous and angry

Jealous Pedro is my own personal curse lol, I genuinely don’t get why you like him. But for you? Anything babes. Also, happy ending won in the poll, but thanks to an anon I've decided to write both endings bc I'm an asshole

warnings: jealousy, angst

Pt.2

Oh fuck please not again.

Your phone buzzed on the nightstand, and you didn’t even need to look at the caller to know who it was.

Only one person would call you at 4:45 am. the same one that had been flooding you with texts and calls for a week now.

You had been ignoring him, telling yourself that “It’s just a phase” and “it’ll pass”, but god, had you been wrong.

You and Jason had broken up two years ago now, and casually, just when you had finally made your relationship with Pedro public, he felt the need to connect with you again.

That's not how Jason had always been, he was once caring and fun and everything you needed... until he wasn't.

He hadn't taken your breaking up with him well, and you tried to be understanding of it, god knows you had been in the same position too once or twice, your heart broken, your mind confused- but then when after two months he'd still call you crying, you decided to give him a little tough love by texting him something that could be summarized in "I know you're hurt but this is getting kind of ridiculous at this point" and by blocking him.

Somewhere after that, for some godforsaken reason, you had decided to unblock him, and to really show off your decision-making skills, you even answered the phone when he had called you last week, finding him in tears, begging for a second chance.

If you were anyone to judge, this call wasn't gonna be much different, but this story had to end at one point, and as you got up from the bed, sneaking out of the room as Pedro breathed soft snores into the air, you decided the time had come.

"Jason?" you whispered, tiptoeing to the living room.

"baby? Oh my god it's really you, I've been trying to call you"

"yeah I saw" you stated, not short of sarcasm

"Oh t-that's ok, you were busy I jus-"

"no Jason I wasn't busy, this is inappropriate"

"Wha-what are you talking about baby, I love you"

there went the tears again

"Jason I'm sorry alright, but I don't, I have a boyfriend, I'm happy"

"no you don't understand babe I can't live without you, I love you more than life y/n, more than anything... I- I need you"

"Jason we broke up a long time ago. It's over. It has been for a while now"

"you don't mean that baby, we love each other, remember how good we were together? I know you do"

"stop calling me baby and stop calling me in general Jason. I don't love you and I don't want to get back together" Your voice raised to a whispery-yell as you got more frustrated.

"Why are you whispering- Is he there? Let me talk to him"

"why would I do that? What would you even want to tell him?"

"I'm sure I can make him understand, man to man y'konw-"

"oh shut up" you rolled your eyes "Jason stop calling me"

"but bab-"

"No. No buts, it's over. we're never getting back together. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going back to sleep, and I suggest you do the same"

"y/n please- I love you, I need you I-"

"goodnight Jason. Don't call me again" You didn't give him time to finish as you hung up, throwing your phone on the couch and closing your eyes as you took a very well-deserved deep breath.

Fuck this shit man.

"Who was it?"

You jumped on your feet, a shiver of fear running down your spine as you turned towards the ominous voice.

"Pedro-" you sighed, taking in his sleep-filled expression.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" he apologized, with a soft chuckle "Who were you talking to?"

shit

"uh- don't worry, it was no one"

"I don't think it was no one if you got up at 4 in the morning to answer, did something happen?"

"no-no nothing like that, it's stupid, don't worry"

He frowned as he studied your expression, clearly confused at your secrecy.

"Who was it?"

Your eyes focused behind him at the glimpse of your room the opened door granted.

Everything was fine just 10 minutes ago...

"It was Jason"

Pedro paused a moment, taken aback by your answer

"Jason as in your ex-boyfriend Jason?" he asked "And why exactly was Jason calling you in the middle of the night?"

"it's not what you think"

This was why you didn't want him to know.

He had a history with unfaithfulness, the woman before you had cheated on him multiple times and left him hurt and bruised, and it was hard for him to fully trust you - or anyone for that matter- after that.

you didn't want him to close off again, you trusted each other, and you feared this would have given him a reason to get back to old habits.

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"no, let me explain-" you got closer to him.

"I'm so fucking stupid" he huffed, not listening to you

"no you're not, just-listen to me" you said, putting a hand on his chest in an attempt to calm him down

He watched you, hurt and anger in his eyes, but he took a breath, nodding as he grumbled a "fine"

"He's been calling me for a while-"

"is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Baby, let me talk" you reminded him, and he gave you another non-enthusiastic nod "He's been calling me since I made our relationship public, saying that he wants to get back with me and that he loves me..." you paused, glancing at the way he tightened his fists by his side "and I've been ignoring him because-" your lips turned into a soft smile as you reached for his hand "...well because I've got you, and I don't want anybody else in the world except you"

You intertwined your fingers with his and brought his hand up to your mouth to leave a quick kiss on it.

"and the only reason why I answered tonight is because I was sick of it, and I wanted to tell him once and for all that we're done because I love you, and only you Pedro" You stood on your tiptoes to kiss his cheek "I promise"

You saw the way your words affected him.

And as much as he tried to fight it, you were always the only one able to calm him down, even when his worst fear came to life. Because he loved you, but most importantly... he trusted you.

"are you telling the truth?" he finally asked, as if in his mind he wasn't praying for you to be doing just that.

He didn't want to lose you, he couldn't.

"I am baby. I swear"

His eyes left yours for a second as he took a deep breath

"why didn't you tell me? I would have done something, I would have gone have a talk with that asshole"

You let out a small laugh

"yeah, a talk" you teased, raising your eyebrows "And besides it didn't matter, it was just a stupid thing not worth your time"

he took your other hand in his, shaking his head

"if he, or anybody else, does this again you tell me, ok?"

As much as you wanted to joke about how many crazy exes he believed you had, you decided this wasn't the time.

"ok" you smiled "I promise"

"good" he nodded, bending down to ghost your lips "Now let's go to bed so I can remind you of a few things I'm sure I'm better at than Jason"

__ __ __

or... (angst with no happy ending)

__ __ __

"It's not what you think"

"It's not? 'cause it sure looks like it"

"It was just a phone call Pedro, just let me explain"

"A phone call with your ex-boyfriend"

"yes, exactly my ex-boyfriend"

"This is unbelievable," he huffed, passing a hand through his hair in a frustrated gesture "I fucking trusted you. You made me trust you, and then... then you go screw that fucking asshole behind my back"

"I'm not screwing anybody"

"sure you aren't" he turned to walk away, but you grabbed his arm.

"Listen to me"

"To what? more lies?" he snapped

"No Pedro I can explain if you just let me talk"

"I don't need an explanation, I know exactly what's going on, just- leave me, I'll go"

"Just like that?" you questioned "You don't even wanna hear me out for a second? You so easily lose all the trust you had in me?"

"Can you blame me?"

"This is ridiculous, I've answered the phone to tell him to stop calling, that's the only reason why! I'm not cheating on you" you spoke, your tone getting louder "And the fact that you came to that conclusion so quickly is fucking insulting"

"right" he snickered "so you answered the phone at four in the morning to tell him to stop calling, very believable y/n" he shook his head "and to think you're a fucking actress"

"fuck you Pedro" you spat out "You know what? I deserve someone who trusts me, who lets me fucking speak and explain myself, not someone who at the first mistake throws me out like trash"

"And I deserve someone who's not a cheater. Guess we both deserve better"

"I guess we do"

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theresattrpgforthat · 1 month

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@alizarinessence thank you for your patience as I took my time to respond to you! PbtA games can be pretty daunting, and I certainly didn't understand how the play flow was supposed to work at first. I personally learned through trial and error, as well as watching other GMs who had figured it out - I am blessed to have a friend who is very experienced in running PbtA games so I was able to play in some of his games and ask him questions.

That being said, there have been a few things that I've also found helpful that I can refer to you, so I'm going to put them up here.

The Flow Chart

This flow chart was originally posted in a Dungeon World reddit post, and later referred to me when I started asking for PbtA advice. You'll likely see a similar flow chart in Apocalypse Keys, where Rae Nedjadi illustrates how a typical session of play is likely to look like.

In any given PbtA game, you as a GM are going to be presenting pieces of information to the players, just as you would in any other ttrpg. PbtA codifies this information as "moves," and each game will present you with information that is considered useful for the kind of story that it is design to tell.

In Masks, the players are teenage superheroes, so the game encourages the GM to introduce facts such as "civilians are in danger" or "your dad thinks you're being irresponsible."

In The Ward, the players are medical doctors in an Emergency Ward, so the game advises the GM to introduce truths such as "a patient's condition is worsening" or "someone's dad is fighting with a nurse in another room."

This reinforces the common maxim that the game is a conversation, a cycle of presenting new information, letting players decide what they want to do with that information, and making a roll if the fiction calls for it. This is a rather simplified cycle of course - the "see what happens" sections may include moments when players may jump in with their own characters' reactions, generating more events that the GM doesn't need to add to in order to make them interesting. Many PbtA games thrive off of player conflict, which can occupy the table for a couple of hours without the GM needing to add anything (Last Fleet is a good example of this kind of play.)

Listening to Others

Listening to other people play PbtA games can give you a sense of how the game is meant to feel, especially when the GM's and players take their time to talk through their moves and how they work.

I found Monster Hour to be exceptionally helpful; they started out as a Monster of the Week podcast, and even though I've never run MotW specifically, listening to Quinn talk the players through how to ask questions or use different moves made the game very easy for me to understand.

Joining a Community

Joining a community that loves a specific PbtA game, or PbtA games in general can be very helpful when seeking out advice. The PbtA Discord channel has a number of players and designers, who have a lot of game experience and are more than happy to dish out advice.

Start With Games That Have Guide-Rails

Not all PbtA games are created equal, and while the original spirit of the game was to make sure you didn't plot out a story-line, there's still some games that have a certain amount of prep that will give you the tools you need to gain confidence as a GM. Here's some of my favourites:

Visigoths vs. Mall Goths can be played as a one-shot, and doesn't require players to make a lot of decisions when putting their characters together. It has a number of scenarios that you can throw at your players, a mapped-out mall with details on all of the NPCs (and whether or not you can flirt with them), and some pretty hard limitations on what you can and cannot do. You can't leave the mall, for example - go through an exit on one side of the mall and you'll just pop back in on the other. You can visit the stores throughout the day, but each team of players can only go to so many places before the mall is closed for the day, therefore bringing the mission to a close.

Apocalypse Keys has a game structure that looks daunting but can be broken down into steps, and also comes with pre-written scenarios as well as instructions on how to create your own. The concept is pretty straightforward - you're solving a mystery, and you need to do it before one of the Doors of the Apocalypse is opened. This puts the game on a timer, which helps GMs keep their players on task, and also provides the Game Master with a list of clues to drop into the story as the players look for them. I've heard very good things about how Brindlewood Bay, which inspired some of the mechanics in Apocalypse Keys, makes itself easy to run for new GMs, so if you can get your hands on that book, you might find it helpful!

Last Fleet is laser-focused on a very specific premise - you are humans, in space, running away from a terrible and insidious threat. What is more, this threat has the ability to infiltrate your fleet. The laser-focus brings everyone at the table to the same page pretty quickly, and the setting includes a mounting pressure track that will make sure things keep happening, so as the person running the game, you won't have to do much after you set up the initial scenario. The game also comes with some really good advice on where you want to start with your players, to make sure they're on edge, but not fully panicking yet. Then you just need to tip the scales enough to cause them to ask questions, make questionable choices, and start a series of actions that snowball into catastrophe.

Wrapping Up

This is all the advice I have for stepping into PbtA, but more than anything, I recommend just diving in and giving it a go! As with any GM-ing endeavour, you will likely walk away from your first session with a list of things that you'll want to do differently the next time around, but that's just a sign that you're learning.

#mint speaks #asks #tabletop games #pbta #powered by the apocalypse

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matan4il · 2 months

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Man Suang review

Spoilers! (obviously. Also, this was written after watching the movie just once, to give my opinion as "raw" as possible)

This may seem like a weird spot to start, but I feel like I really can't review this movie properly, without pointing out that it's Moulin Rouge, except set in another country AND another genre. The latter gives it a very different feel (to a great degree, due to tone as well, MS is a serious movie, while MR, even while it does want you to care, doesn't take itself too seriously), but the basic structure of the two movies is too similar, so I have to start there.

In both cases, the movie revolves around (and gets its title from) an entertainment center, which is beautiful and alluring, but also serves as a stage for some of the uglier sides of human urges. This entertainment institution houses performers of low social status, who often also must prostitute themselves to the rich and powerful people who frequent the place. And while the whoring is pretty much built in, and no one bats an eye at it, this setting also allows for some murderous intents to surface. The plot is centered around an exceptionally beautiful and talented, lowborn entertainer, who must sell their body to get by, having aspirations to get a better life through this, and the seemingly simple guy, who is a part of their social circle at this entertainment place, who has his own aspirations, and is not as lowly, which is why he doesn't have to stoop as low as prostitution, and can offer something different. Despite the connection between them, they're both trapped in plots bigger than them, set into motion before they even met, and they have to struggle to find their way amidst all this intrigue, which moves them almost like they were pawns. By the end of the movie, there will be betrayal between the two, but also repentance, and an act of choosing each other over their initial ideal, allowing them to make decisions that are "righter" than they would have, had they not met, and ones that give them more freedom than had they simply served the initial goal they were supposed to. Through that, they gain more freedom and agency. Yet despite that, they don't end the movie being together.

Now, why do I bring this comparison up? Because while MR doesn't take itself seriously, like I said, it does want the viewer to care, and it achieves this by recognizing that they can make a mess of genres, of reality vs hallucination (hello Kylie Minogue as the Green Fairy), of time periods (soundtrack and props that have nothing to do with the year 1900), be as camp and over the top as they wanna be, but if the characters and love story are compelling, we'll all still be riveted.

And that's generally true for every movie. At the end of the day, whatever the genre, we watch first and foremost because someone made us care in some way about at least one of the characters or relationships featured in the film. My fave action movie ever works so well, not because its climax scene is so full of fists (in the middle of a lake at night in total darkness, with the very real threat of the good guy being drowned by the bad one), it hits home because this fight will actually be decided by whether the cold-blooded CIA handler, who had to train the good guy, has come to care enough about him, to be able to tell the two men apart even under these circumstances, and shoot the right person (meaning, the bad guy), saving the protagonist and countless others along the way. It's this test of their (BTW, fully platonic) relationship, that makes up the film's real climax.

So, probably my biggest issue with MS is that it seems to lose sight of that too often. It's so focused on telling us this political mystery, that it forgets at the end of the day, we're here for people and how they feel about and react to each other. The heart of the movie is the relationship between Khem (played by Apo), the entertainer forced to whore himself out, and Chat, the one guy who sees him dancing, but doesn't want just Khem's body. The parts that let their relationship breathe and develop are the best in the movie, they're the ones that feel the most authentic, interesting and impactful. They're the emotional anchor of the whole thing, and even though the movie too often neglects them, and doesn't give them enough time, they just work thanks to Mile and Apo's excellent acting, and their outstanding chemistry. Truly, it's once again a testament of how well these two fit as a team, that they're able to achieve so much, when they're giving too little breathing space for the relationship that is, at the end of the day, the very heart of the film.

The cinematography is great, though I'll admit that I was not that into the colors, I usually like vivid colors, but here they were oversaturated in a way that added a certain sense of heaviness and suffocation to my viewing experience. In a sense, it fits. Man Suang is both beautiful and ugly, alluring and repulsive. Still, I think it would have been a better choice to add the unnatural oversaturation as the ugliness unfolds. First let the viewers be seduced by the beautiful imagery and colors, only then hit them with the ugliness that all of the glitter hides. But then, the movie actually hits us with the ugly bits, with prostitution and murder, in the exposition already. Which makes me think the whole movie could have benefited from a more gradual unfolding of those parts of the entertainment world we're introduced to. Still, I will say that the parts where Khem and Chat get to know each other better, in the market, flying a kite in the field and chatting while climbed up on a tree, they don't have that oversaturation, they get to enjoy more natural lighting, and it gives these scenes a lighter feeling, which does fit. They do seem less burdened in those moments than throughout most of the film. And then the issue with this goes back to... there's just not enough of these scenes, to really give this contrast its own gravitas.

There are scenes which are redundant, they should have been cut out, like when we learn how Tubtim prefers being a whore at Man Suang than outside it. Not that her short monologue isn't touching, but let's be honest, she's not an actual character. She's a plot device, this short scene is only included to set up her change of heart, when she decides to tell Khem the truth, instead of lying. But since this doesn't give her enough depth or her own agency to become a character in her own right, and since she explains her decision to Khem anyway, it's just a waste of time, and it comes at the expense of developing the more emotionally crucial parts of the movie.

And it's not like the movie doesn't know where its emotional weight is. For example, the film's emotional climax, the moment where tensions run highest, is without a doubt the confrontation between Khem and Chat, when they accuse each other of choosing themselves and being willing to sacrifice the other one to do it. It's an effective moment, but I think it would have been so much more powerful, if we got to spend more time seeing Chat and Khem becoming increasingly more important to each other.

For that matter, the real resolution in the movie isn't to the supposed mystery of who has the secret documents and how to get them. It's the resolution of what to do with them, which is where Chat and Khem had clashed. Chat needs the documents destroyed so he and his family won't be punished (possibly killed) for his father's crime. Khem needs the documents delivered to the authorities so that he and his friend won't be punished (possibly killed) for a murder they were framed for. The real resolution of the story is when Khem chooses to burn the documents, so Chat and his family will be safe, and after he leaves, Chat saves them from the flames, and has them delivered, securing Khem's life and reward.

I really liked this part, and again, it felt lighter than the rest of the movie, giving a real sense of relief (visually as well, as there's less oversaturation, and both guys change into nicer outfits, with brighter patches of color). I also enjoyed the more complex POV they offer by the end. They both didn't want the life they were born into. Khem didn't like being of a low socio-economic status, being dependent on the good will of others. Chat didn't want to be a civil servant like his dad. As the movie ends, Khem chooses to stay at Man Suang, turning down the social mobility reward Chat was able to secure for him, while Chatra accepts a position serving his country. Seemingly, they both had to accept their predestined fate. But the fact that they get to choose it now, makes a difference. They see the good they can do, and they're not deprived of humanizing agency. The delivery of this in their dialogues is also quite lovely, with Khem talking about how each type of boat is made for very specific conditions that it must sail, while Chat brings up the fact that now, there are new types of ship, which can defy expectations, and sail in any conditions. They're both right, and they complete each other in describing the place that they ended up in. And the mutual parting, as they both "entrust" something to the care of the other, does reflect their bond.

Still, all of this would have been even more poignant, if this relationship had been given more space. As is, I feel like I even have to guess to a degree why they do care about each other, and why they do end up choosing the other's best interest over their own.

It's a bit clearer with Khem. We see him being exploited for sex, because of his beauty and grace, instead of being seen and appreciated for his talent and hard work. Chat is different. He helps Khem more than once without asking for anything in return, and Chatra also compliments him on his performance. Other than him, there's only one person who seems not to want anything from Khem, his long time friend Wan, but even he ends up betraying and being willing to kill Khem, when Wan doesn't get what he wants from his friend (revenge against all Chinese people). Once more, Chat is different. Yes, he points his revolver at Khem, but he doesn't pull the trigger, he doesn't use the leverage he has in order to force Khem to do what benefits Chat. Instead, he puts down the revolver, and tries to explain himself and his attempt to save his family.

What makes Chat like Khem? I find that a bit harder to answer, though there's a clear and real interest there, which goes beyond Chat's secret mission with the documents. He saves Khem from being discovered during their first meeting, and doesn't ask for anything in return. Chat pays attention to Khem at rehearsals, to his dancing, to his tendency of getting into trouble when not backing down at the face of bullying or injustice... So we can assume Chatra likes all of that. And then he does explicitly express his interest, when he admits to Khem he wanted them to spend that time together at the market.

Which I guess brings me to the question of... okay, so is this a love story? Their relationship is obviously vital to the story, but is it a romantic one? The movie seems to wanna leave it open to interpretation. Maybe it's my hopeless romantic streak, I do wanna see it as a love story. I think there are some hints for that. The mutual interest and liking, even at the stage when they've barely spoken to each other, the way they end up choosing each other even at the possible cost of their own life, the explicit admission from Chat that he was looking to spend time with Khem at the market even when it didn't appear to have anything to do with his secret mission, the way Chat's admission seems to not only make Khem happy, he looks shaken up, there's the kite flying scene, which is played for laughs (flying a kite is apparently Thai slang for jerking off), but still, it's a choice that the movie made, to add a layer of sexual tension there. And then there's the scene where they're trying to figure out who's the woman in red if no one was wearing red on the night they're investigating. Chat steps into the spot where the woman had been, his shirt white, and red light is projected over him. Khem stands in front of him, and they stare at each other for a moment. To me, it serves a double purpose. One is that Khem realizes Chat just handed him the solution to that part of the mystery. The other is that films often illuminate characters in red to show lust and even love. So this might also be a moment when it hits Khem that his feelings for Chat, who's been helping him, who he trusts, run deeper than he realized.

I do think Man Suang would have been braver and better if it had openly gone with the romantic interpretation. It's not just me being an incurable romantic. I also think that, much like in MR, the relationship that changes the course of the two main characters has to be a really strong one, enough for one to decide to give up his life for the other. I'm not sure that friendship quite cuts it, especially when this relationship didn't have that much time to develop (def not enough screen time, but also not enough in-story time). Was love between two men back then a simple thing to admit to? Of course not. But men did fall in love, and even acted on it. I'm not talking here full blown sex. But enough that the audience would know for sure what they feel for each other. On a local TV show, I was reminded that when the small fingers of two people, who are forbidden from any physical connect, do touch, even briefly... something that small and fleeting can still be a confession of deep love and yearning.

Another thing I wish they'd done is make more use of the unspoken tension created by one man dancing to the beat struck by another one. This was so present and delicious in the first teaser released for Mileapo's movie (before it even had a name and a script), I wish they had retained that. It's somewhat present (Khem says he danced so well, thanks to the beat Chat set for him, and then in the scene exposing Tiang, it's Chat's change in drumming that sets the stage for Khem revealing the treason through dance and song), but could have been used so much more. The play between real life and art, the connectedness or contrast between the two men when they're on the same page versus when they're not... There's so much potential for non-verbal drama, and they captured it beautifully in that teaser, so why is it almost non-existent in the film?

I also... I know that the movie is set in the 19th century, and I don't expect 21st century tolerance to be projected back onto it, but I find it hard to ignore that we have one character spew homophobic shit, Khem denying having had sex with another man, basically agreeing it's wrong, and at the same time, men exploiting other men sexually is not looked away from, it's very explicit and built into Khem's story. Each one of these things can be true in its way (there was homophobia, people did have to go with it, there was male on male exploitation alongside this homophobia), but when every explicit thing in this context is negative, while the one positive (the possible love story between Chat and Khem) remains implicit and optional at best, it feels like it unintentionally leans into the homophobic narrative. Take Brokeback Mountain for example. The environment in that movie is highly homophobic, prejudiced, rude and even violent about it. And while Jack and Ennis had a lifelong love story, they couldn't actually live it out in the open because of said homophobia. Ennis in particular would rather punch a guy, than admit Jack was the love of his life. And still, we got to see their love, we got to see that even with all of the societal hardships, it brought them warmth and comfort, and was a reason to risk a lot, even for Ennis, who was so acutely aware of the threat to their lives. I like that BBM was honest in depicting Ennis and Jack having sex, but at the end of it, even without those scenes, the love between them was enough of a counterweight, that it never felt like the movie unintentionally reinforced a negative view of what two men can have together. With MS, I feel like a homophobic casual viewer, who won't get that Chat and Khem saved each other through something that might be more than just friendship, could easily have their negative view reaffirmed.

All in all, I enjoyed MS. I loved seeing Mile and Apo acting together again, I missed that, and their chemistry is just as superb as ever. I'm not sure the movie, getting as distracted from the main relationship as it did, would have worked without their unique addition of beautiful acting and chemistry. So, I would recommend it to friends, but I guess I would also really love to see a better paced, edited and re-focused version of it. Shine, Mileapo's show that will follow in the footsteps of MS, might deliver that. I can't wait to see! ^u^

(if you're curious about any of my other Mileapo/Kinnporsche posts, you can find them here)

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lowkeyrobin · 2 months

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hiii :з can i request domestic hcs with quackity x reader where they just moved in with each other and basically figuring stuff out about living together

idk what domestic means in this context but I don't think I wanna know

QUACKITY ; living together

summary ; you and alex finally moved in with each other and you're figuring out your new way of life

warnings ; language

genre ; fluff

word count ; 687

masterlist

At last, you and Alex were finally living under the same roof in Los Angeles. You were living in a studio apartment for a while, but finally upgraded to a two story house just outside the main city with your boyfriend.

Money was the first problem that you tackled beforehand, which you got sorted nice and easily. The next was unpacking and buying new furniture.

You'd already took out some loans for new furniture since both of you either didn't have some furniture, or needed to scrap the old stuff you found off eBay for a scarily low price. The trip to the closest furniture store, about three miles away, was horrifying.

You'd never been a stickler with money, but coming up not having much of it sometimes taught you a great amount about fair pricing. However, when you saw a large number, you stood there awkwardly, wondering if you could afford it or if it was even worth it. Alex was the same, but he was more comfortable spending larger amounts of money on bigger things because he understood the expenses a bit better than you did.

All in all, you probably spent about two thousand dollars at that place. You'd ended up finding some good furniture off of eBay that you could go pick up that afternoon, and found a nice and free dresser set out by the road from someone who didn't want it anymore.

The house, now a month later, was finally furnished and you were in charge of decorations while he organized the kitchen and set up the PC's and other electronics. You two hadn't been doing much other than get used to sharing a room and a bed 24/7. You ended up deciding it'd be better to save that room for something else and have your bedrooms and office combined into one. If anyone wanted to snuggle in the night, they'd go to the other person's room.

It was mostly for privacy, and so you wouldn't end up fighting or beating the shit out of each other. You both needed downtime away from each other, a perfectly normal and healthy aspect of a relationship.

The next part, after setting your desktops up and decorating your rooms and whatnot, was getting into the routine of living together and not doing everything independently. Both of you were independent and didn't need to rely on each other, a good thing, but when it came to getting groceries or going out or streaming, talking about it and making decisions together would be the next step in moving forward.

Tiger was a whole conversation in herself. Alex decided he'd take care of her litter box and you decided you'd take care of her food and water. He felt bad making you take care of his cat, but you found no problem with it considering Tiger was like your child already.

The final steps were just getting used to living with each other and boundaries that came with it.

But, over time, everything would go great.

༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚༘⋆₊ ⊹★🔭๋࣭ ⭑⋆｡˚

Quackity appreciated you bringing him food, water, or a hoodie on stream, and you did as well

Tiger walking into your streams >>>

even streaming side by side was a reoccurring thing

often times you'd play uno and have the handcam on in the corner

you'd give each other advice when editing videos and writing scripts

making dinner together with music in the background >>>

especially when he sings along/to you, good lord

you can't go a single day without cackling at each other

fighting and arguments are healthy for a relationship, but with you guys it's never serious, it's either over dumb shit you couldn't care about or you play fight with each other for laughs

sometimes he'll shout at you in Spanish to mess around and you'll stare at him like "tf are you saying"

if you do understand Spanish though, it's war

arts and crafts together go crazy

you start a little vlog channel together as well

it's run by you and he's only there sometimes but still

insta pictures of you two doing dumb shit 24/7

#lowkeyrobin #mcyt x reader #mcyt preferences #mcyt oneshot #quackity x reader #quackity oneshot #quackityhq x reader #quackity #gn reader #gender neutral reader #they/them reader #qsmp x reader

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pleaseinsertwittyurl · 3 months

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Armageddon 2.0

okay. I'm 100% sure people have had this thought but I haven't seen it and I'm in an era of extreme hyperfixation and need the thoughts out of my mind.

-spoiler for the book but, Crowley mentions the next iteration of the end of the world probably being Angels and Demons "against" humans

-we then get the line about Adam stealing the apple and that there was never a fruit not worth the trouble you get into for eating it

-to my knowledge, no angel, nor demon, ever ate from that tree

Then there's season 2 and all it revealed

-Crowley and Aziraphale tried to do a tiny half miracle and ended up performing one so powerful it could bring back 25 dead guys

-Gabriel and Beelzebub are now (the 2nd) angels and demons who found the good in each other

So...

The theory bouncing around in my head that I physically need to put into words is that the Metatron thinks they know the plan. Big mistake as far as matters of god are concerned. They will instruct Aziraphale according to their own ideas in an attempt to finally defeat Hell. Az obviously will push back and rely on his own morality and the other person who shares it.

Enter cockamamie plan held together by strings and wishful thinking. (Muriel has grown fond of Crowley and is easily swayed to assist.) Big dramatic show down time. Az and Crowley deliver some heartfelt remarks about acceptance, change, the real line between good and evil existing within us all. Many are moved on both sides, surely many are not. Does a fight break out? Probably but it doesn't last long. Our "boys" point to the humans, prompting some disgust and perhaps unity in the desire to end the hubbaloo about them, but that's not the point! No, look: how beautiful the things they make when they work together, how awful the things they do when they're divided, perhaps they were not ours to influence, but the other way around. They were the test, and if we cannot learn from their mistakes, we've failed. No creature is all good or all bad. The bee that makes sweet honey has a dreadful sting, the nightingales that sing sweet melodies must kill the worm to feed itself. It's all about our choices, what we make of the circumstances we find ourselves in. Finding the balance. Free will.

So knowing how strong they are when they combine their powers, they are the ones who must decide what happens to the world and everything else. They have to decide whether to destroy it, each other, Heaven and Hell, or maybe...even...god? After all, the best thing a parent can hope for is to raise children who no longer need their guidance, but who have learned how to make the right decisions on their own, learned how to thrive without them, who can decide if the stolen fruit will be worth the trouble they may get into for taking it.

And that's all I've got. There are different directions I could see these theories going in and I've kinda combined several thoughts that have occurred to me so it got a bit messy but I can't pin down exactly where my mind wants to go so I'm not, I just let the bitch go and this is what we got.

I'd love to hear other opinions, theories, etc so please feel free to share! I'm deeeeep in the hyperfixation so conversation is my nourishment right now, and also i may have started writing a fic last night based on my vision for s3e1.

Help.

#good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #no nightingales #good omens season 3 #anthony j crowley #good omens season 2 #good omens fanfiction #good omens theories #good omens thoughts #good omens meta #ineffable idiots #ineffable spouses

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i-write-sometimes-maybe · 11 months

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Come Back To Me- Emily Prentiss X FemReader!

Synopsis: Emily comes back from the dead, and your world just flipped upside down again. Or right side up?

Warnings: mentions of death and depression, angst but I make it better. lmk if I missed any.

Word Count: 3.7k

A/n: I decided to post my other OneShots here and hopefully open the floodgates to more requests, hope you enjoy! All likes, comments, and reblogs welcomed!

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

It was approaching another month. Another month that you desperately wished didn't arrive. One more month since your other half was taken, no ripped, from you.

Emily was your everything, the only light to be found amongst your plethora of darkness. Single-handedly, she swooped in and saved you, saving you from things that you didn't even know you needed to be saved from.

Alas, after every broken sob that came from you behind closed doors, you began to hide your heartbreak from the team. It was proven difficult, not just because they're a group of profilers but also because they're your family. The closest thing you have to one. Though, you started to become better at hiding your pain. Pushing through your heartache for the sake of your job and the others.

Even though you and Emily were together, you felt as if you had no right to mourn her more than the others. Thinking it'd be selfish of you to make the others see and deal with your pain on top of theirs. No, you'd bury it deep within you like you did everything else.

After all, the one person you could open up to was gone.

The days never got easier, but you didn't let on to it. You had finally gotten used to the fact that she was gone just enough for you to not break down at the mere thought of Emily, only while in front of anyone else of course.

The thought of another month arriving took hold of your thoughts, leaving a shell of you sitting at your desk in the bullpen.

You could hear the light conversations and shuffling of paperwork from your coworkers around you. Aside from Spencer, he was overanalyzing your daydreaming, a habit of his you've learned to ignore.

Suddenly, Hotch and JJ pulled the team into the round table room.

Confusion overtook everyone as there was no mention of a new case to be solved. A stoic Hotch stood in front of the tv with a worried-looking JJ standing beside him.

With one look, you knew that something was wrong and they were afraid of something. You were a profiler after all. But what they were afraid of, you had no idea. And that terrified you more.

You kept looking between the blonde and the brunette standing just off to the left of you, stealing a glance around the room to see everyone else as equally confused.

Derek was the first one to break the uncomfortable silence, "What's going on? Everything alright?"

Hotch lowered his head just slightly as he spoke next, "Seven months ago, I made a decision that affected this team. As you all know, Emily lost a lot of blood after her fight with Doyle. But the doctors were able to stabilize-"

Your stomach instantly churned and dropped, leaving you feeling as if you were to be sick. You heard the words Hotch was saying, but you couldn't process them.

A ringing began in your ears as you began to realize exactly what he was saying. Tears instantly violated your eyes, coming to the surface with the threat of falling.

You couldn't look away from Hotch, "No." A pathetic attempt of a whisper left your lips. Or at least you thought it did.

This can't be happening.

"She's alive?" Garcia spoke with disbelief.

"No." You whispered once more, a single tear escaping.

Spencer almost didn't want to believe it, "But, we buried her?"

"No." You spoke a little louder, you weren't sure what emotion you were feeling at this moment.

A movement at the doorway, the one you walked through just moments ago, grabbed everyone's attention. Looking up, you saw something, someone, you thought you'd never see again. If it weren't for the others around you, you would've sworn you were dreaming.

"No. No!" You stand from the table, the emotions and pain becoming too difficult to bare.

"Y/n-" Emily tried talking to you, to get you to hear her.

But you need to leave, you don't want to risk the team seeing you break down again. You disliked them witnessing the first time it occurred, the moment JJ and Hotch came around the corner in the hospital to tell everyone that 'she never made it off the table'. You always, and still do, thought that there were dozens of other ways she could've worded it, and she chose that.

"NO." You all but shouted.

You go to exit through the other door in the round room but Hotch attempted to stop you by standing in front of you, "No! Y-You, stay away from me!" You say as you push past him.

He lied to you. He lied to you about the most important person in your life. And that's enough for you to want to leave this place and never return.

You rushed down the stairs, quickly coming up to your desk. You opened the bottom drawer and swapped your gun and badge for your bag. You can feel the team watching you from the windows, but that's not enough to stop you, not even close.

You hear rushed movements, unsurprised that someone came after you. What you weren't expecting was the person that was behind you. Emily came up to you. Normally under any other circumstance, she would've been plenty to stop you in your trail, but not now.

And what did surprise you, was that she was standing in front of you. In the flesh. The Emily Prentiss that you buried just months ago, standing in front of you.

The tears are completely streaming down your face, "Y/n, please wait," Emily tried.

This was already too much to bare, but hearing her voice so close to you, that's an entirely new type of difficulty, "No! You should've known that I can't handle this," Your eyes scanned her in disbelief. "You, you- UGH!" You were frustrated with everything.

Frustrated with yourself due to being unable to express your thoughts in feelings in quite literally any way. Frustrated with Hotch and JJ for lying to you, frustrated with Emily for leaving you, frustrated with the team for you don't even know why at this point.

You just had misplaced emotions everywhere at this moment.

You tried walking away from her.

She came forward and tried to touch you, "Y/n please-"

Fear, maybe longing, flashed in your eyes as you flinched away from her touch, after all, you are looking at a ghost, "I said no. Just- you- no. No."

You pulled yourself away from her and walked out of the BAU, leaving not only Emily confused with your reaction but everyone else too.

~Time Skip~

Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, with you laying on the couch just watching as it moves ever so slightly with each buzz.

You had quickly become annoyed with the sound of your ringer, so you shut it off. You wanted to shut your phone off completely but you knew that was a bad idea for many different reasons. You knew the team would panic, panic being an understatement, if they couldn't even get one ring on your phone. That and you knew Garcia was tracking your phone just so they knew where you were.

Instead, you opted to watch it buzz. Leaving the texts unchecked and the calls unanswered.

You may have been a little dramatic but you couldn't find it in yourself to care.

———

Emily was standing, well pacing, in Hotch's office as he sat at his desk, "I just don't know what to do. She won't answer my calls or texts,"

"She's not answering any of ours either." He didn't want to let on that he was worried, this being entirely out of character for you.

"Hotch, it's been a week. She hasn't come to work." Concern practically dripped from Emily's voice.

He briefly pinched the bridge of his nose, "I know. I didn't think she would react like this."

"I didn't either, did I mess up by not telling her?"

"No. We did what we had to. Not only for the importance of the case, but it kept her safe too."

He tried to reason with the thoughts raging through the brunette's mind, ultimately failing.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going to head over to her place and try to talk to her."

Of course, he felt that maybe Emily going wasn't the best idea. Maybe Rossi or Reid could go. But he knew that she wouldn't listen regardless of what he said anyways.

"Okay, keep us posted."

She rushed out of his office with your apartment in mind, "Will do."

It took Emily all of twenty minutes to get out of the BAU and to the front door of your apartment.

Oddly, she hesitated for a mere second before knocking. A feeling of relief came to her when she heard your voice on the other side.

"Who is it?" Your voice was weak and hoarse, presumably from your exhaustion but also because you haven't actually talked in quite a few days.

"It's me, Emily."

You regretted your choice of calling out instead of looking into the peephole.

You jumped up from the couch, with more abruptness and energy than you've had in ages, instantly going to the door, "No one's home. Go away." You quietly paced back and forth behind it.

"Come on Y/n, you can't hide forever."

"Sure I can, maybe if I hide long enough everyone will think I died." You couldn't care less about the childish sentence that left your mouth.

"That's not fair, I did what I had to."

The door flies open, "Really?! That's the best you could come up with?! God, Emily!"

The moment her eyes landed on you, she took the opportunity to get a better look at you. She hasn't seen you in months, just like you hadn't seen her. But your flushed and tear-stained face isn't what she was expecting. Emily was expecting you to be tired, a bit different maybe. But not like this. The dark circles that claimed home under your eyes weren't budging, becoming a new part of you because you never were able to get actual sleep since she was gone.

You tried to slam the door shut but she stops it, you don't have enough energy to fight it. You sigh loudly and sharply but it doesn't phase Emily.

She glanced around your apartment, the usual tidiness and comfort nowhere to be found. In your defense, this didn't happen in a week, the clutter occurred from the sheer lack of energy and motivation to clean anything over the past several months.

"Y/n, you have to talk to me." Her hands are out front of her, bracing for something, though it's as if she's almost afraid of approaching you.

You cross your arms, "Oh? Now you're all for communication?"

"Look, I know you're mad-" Okay, maybe you weren't expressing your feelings entirely in the right way.

"Mad? Mad?! Emily, I'm not fucking mad, I'm fucking destroyed."

She has a questioning face but lets you further explain.

The tears you so desperately tried to hide returned faster than before, "Every damn day for months, I cried the hardest I've ever cried in my life. I cried so hard because I thought that the love of my life, the other half of my soul, was gone. YOU DIED," Your arms were flailing in attempts to hide your shaking form. "And- and then when I thought I finally found a way to not cry every damn hour, you just, walk right in? Like nothing happened?! What the fuck?!" You wiped the tears that you had felt during your rant.

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I truly am. I wanted to talk to you, to reach out, but I couldn't." The pain in her eyes beginning to match yours.

"The worst part of it all," You took a stuttering breath. "I didn't get to say goodbye. Every day, I had to walk by your portrait that was screwed into the wall, as if it was mocking me." More tears fell on your face.

Emily took a step forward towards you, and in turn, you took a step back.

"I want to believe this is real. That you are standing right in front of me. But I can't bring myself to. I can't savor this to just lose you all over again." A broken sob left your lips.

Despite your, very pathetic, attempt at keeping Emily from getting close to you, she moved your hands aside and pulled you into her.

Another sob escaped you when you realized she didn't vanish. Her scent and the feeling of her stroking your head made you realize, this is real, and she is here, with you.

At this realization though, your knees gave out, and you are no longer able to muster the energy to keep you upright. More broken cries and sobs came from you as Emily dropped to the floor with you, her hold never faltering.

Your fears of her vanishing again were clear in the way you held onto any part of her you could.

As your sobs and cries shifted into stuttering breaths, you began to feel the embarrassment roll over you. You knew you shouldn't be embarrassed for your emotions, especially for showing them in front of Emily. She was always the only one you never hid from. But you were feeling many different things at once, and you couldn't help it.

You pulled back from her and silently wiped your tear-stained face, you knew it wouldn't make a difference though.

It took you a second to remember the reason why Emily returned to begin with, "So, how's the case?"

Guilt took over you again, you made this about yourself, ignoring the much bigger picture that was happening. How could you do that? Leave in the middle of one of the biggest cases the BAU has had in some time.

Emily was clearly confused by your sudden shift, "No no, how are you?"

Sighing, you tried to get the topic off of you, "Emily, we can talk about that later. I've missed a lot of what's happened on the case."

"We haven't made much progress, well, we haven't made any progress. So, I'll ask again, how are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Wanna try that again, 'cause I'm right here." Not a thing changed, she still saw straight through you.

"Before I answer that, I have a question for you."

"Anything."

"If we had caught Doyle on our own, would you have come back? Would you have come back if you didn't have to?"

She paused for a second, "I'd like to think that I would've, yes."

Her political voice was clear as if she were speaking on trial, "Oh, stop the bullshit Emily, I'm not Strauss," She looked a little surprised. "You don't need to be posh when speaking with me. If the real answer was no you could've just said that."

She sighed before speaking, "I won't lie and say I didn't embrace the slight break of things at least a little bit, but it was just as much hell for me as it was for you," You waited for her to explain more because her tone told you she wasn't done. "You mourned the loss of one, I mourned the loss of six. Every day, I lived in fear that Doyle or one of his men would find me and finish what they started. Or worse, they'd find you. And that's why I couldn't tell you. There was a chance that if they found you, going on normally and living your life, they'd know I wasn't actually gone. And they would use you to get to me. And I wasn't going to risk that."

Your tears returned when you saw Emily fighting off her tears, trying to at least keep herself together. That was another way you two were alike.

"I understand why you did what you had to, I really do. A part of me just couldn't help but feel every possible thing." She searched your eyes for something, and she likely already found it.

"Your turn." You knew what she was talking about.

"No, I'm not," You looked at your hands in your lap. "It felt like a huge part of me died with you that day. A part of me that I was certain wouldn't come back. I became reckless on cases, anyone could tell you that, just hoping that if there was anything that could go wrong, it would happen to me. If anything was to happen to someone on the team, it would be me. I guess, I thought that if something did happen, it would bring me to you." You were terrified to meet Emily's gaze, you know the type of look she'd have and you couldn't bare to see it right now.

"Y/n, I-"

"Don't be sorry, please don't be sorry for me." You whispered, looking up to see her with the exact look you didn't want her to have.

"I'm not-"

"Emily, that's the face you make when you have to talk with a victim's family. I know that tone. I don't want you to treat me like one of them because I'm not, nowhere close."

Yes, you did lose the love of your life. Yes, you were utterly lost. And no matter what the hell you were currently feeling, you got her back. She was here and in your arms. And that is what sets you apart from any family of victims.

"I know that," She spoke as she just slightly nodded her head. "Believe me, I do. And I know I'm just a broken record but I'm so sorry. Y/n, I didn't want to go without saying anything to you but I didn't have a choice."

"I know, I was just being selfish. I just wanted you to come back to me, I wanted this to just be a nightmare and I'd wake up and see you sleeping next to me." Emily brought her hand up and caressed your cheek as you finished your sentence.

"Well, I'm back now. And I know we can't take back the time we lost but we can make up for it, we can continue where we left off or we can even start over if that's what you want."

Your eyes search hers, the same russet brown that you longed to see for ages, but you weren't looking for anything in particular, you just missed her. At this moment, seeing and holding her, you said to hell with it. You pulled her back to you and rejoined your lips, deciding that you were ready to be done with the past. After all, it was irrelevant now.

The world was drowned out with her lips on yours, nothing else was important and nothing could pull you from this moment. That is until your phone went off again. You pulled back from Emily with a groan, and a small chuckle came from her.

"You should probably answer that." She followed your eyes to your buzzing phone that was on the coffee table.

You sighed, "Yeah, I don't want Morgan breaking down my door if you guys decide to come for me."

You crawled a few feet's distance towards your phone, a smile coming to your face when you heard Emily's laugh at your comment.

You turned around, leaning against the coffee table as you answered the phone, "Hey, you."

Emily tried to make it seem like she wasn't listening to the call, but she wasn't trying too hard and you saw straight through it.

Garcia squealed as she heard your voice, "OH! Oh my god! Lovey, are you okay? I don't know what I was expecting but I'm glad you picked up! How are you doing?" You chuckled at her antics, her asking a million questions a second.

You looked up at Emily, "I'm okay, now."

"Oh! I'm so glad! As much as I'm glad you're having this reunion, there's been a breakthrough on the case." Just as Garcia asked you if you could come in, your eyes snapped to Emily.

The moment she saw your look, she knew that both of you were needed, of course, she heard what Garcia said but that's unimportant.

Before you made your leave for the office, you opted to shower and change out of your clothes. You may not have been dirty per se, but it was nice to refresh and rid yourself of the past few days.

The smile that came to your face when Emily rested her hand on your thigh during the drive back to the BAU was entirely involuntary, but it was welcomed. There was plenty you two could've been talking about during the drive, plenty to catch up on, but you both just decided to enjoy the silence the both of you shared and enjoy each other's presence.

All eyes were on you when you and Emily walked back into the bullpen, and instead of speaking you just flashed everyone a sheepish smile. You may have blatantly ignored both Hotch and JJ, not quite ready to face them and be the bigger person, and listened to Garcia as she announced the newfound information.

With everything coming together, the team set a plan in action. Of course, you didn't like that Emily was their main play, you just got her back.

Luckily, all went well, except for Doyle being killed but you counted that as a win. But you, Emily, Declan, and everyone else on the team were safe.

"Let's go home." You placed your hands on either side of her face in an attempt to ground her, you knew that what just happened was a lot for her.

She just nodded in acceptance and took your hand, following you back to the car. Everyone else on the team just watched as you both walked away, they would catch up with you both later, they knew that you both just needed each other right now and the paperwork could wait.

Yeah, the last seven months were hell, but that doesn't matter anymore. All that heartache, all the tears, they're irrelevant now that you have Emily in your arms again.

🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮🝮

Taglist: @inlovewithgreta @v3nusxsky @just-your-casual-nerd @pebbleswritessometimes @bigolgay @scream-queenlover @darkth1ngs @sgelessoanddoveykissing. Y’all are my Taglist so you get to see all my characters 🥰

#emily prentiss #criminal minds #paget brewster #she comes back from the dead #hurt/comfort #oneshot #sapphic #fanfic #season 8 emily #fem reader #emily prentiss x reader #emily prentiss x female reader #emily prentiss x you #emily prentiss x y/n

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plzravagemethxxx · 3 months

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BLOODLUST PROLOGUE

BLOODLUST Masterlist

Part One

"I don't think I understand," Y/N mused, raising a hand to cut off the woman in front of her. "You think I've been doing what exactly?"

"I don't think anything," Black Canary hissed. She shifted in her seat, kicking one leg over the other and leaning back, almost resembling a queen in her throne. "I know you've been participating in some... unsavory extracurriculars. What you're doing is dangerous, Miss Rosso."

Y/N scowled. "I suppose there's no hiding it, then. And it's just Y/N, thank you very much."

"Fair enough. I can imagine your father plays a part in your actions." Canary raised a brow. "You want to right his wrongs."

"Obviously."

"That is not your job," Canary began, "nor is it even your responsibility."

"No," Y/N agreed, "but it's not like you can criticize my decisions. You're a hero, aren't you? Part of the Justice League and everything. It's not your responsibility to save the world, but you took it on anyway." She shrugged. "I just happen to have a personal reason."

There was a moment of silence as Black Canary sized up the girl before her. She wasn't very tall, nor very short, but even in her oversized sweatshirt and baggy pajama pants, she could make out the muscle Y/N must have accumulated from her nightly crime fighting expeditions.

It had been a week since Canary had found out about the girl. And she was awfully good at protecting her privacy, so she had only located her last night. Dinah prided herself on her stealth skills, so she'd assumed that she could break into the girl's apartment without any difficulty or being noticed. Instead, she found herself forced to navigate several traps and bypass at least three alarm systems, only to find the girl waiting for her in the living room with an extra cup of ramen prepared.

"I'm not causing any problems," Y/N pointed out. "I've done your job when you couldn't. Star City is nothing like Gotham, but I've taken down dozens of criminals you and the Justice League determine too small for your attention." She crossed her arms over her chest. "I'm doing a good job."

Canary chewed the inside of her cheek. "You are. I'm not here to punish you, if that's what you assumed."

Y/N furrowed her brow. "Then what do you want? Also." She gestured to the ramen. "Eat. I made it for you, don't let it get cold."

Canary hesitated, almost doubting the innocence in the girl's tone. Is it poisoned? No... no, I don't think so. She might sound a bit resentful, but she doesn't want to kill or even hurt me. She picked up the cup and slurped up some of the noodles. She hadn't had basic cup ramen in years. I don't think she thinks she's strong enough to take me on.

"It's good," Black Canary admitted. "You clearly don't just eat ramen, that's for sure. You need to be stronger than drugstore noodles can afford you."

"I was strapped for time," Y/N confessed. "You disabled all my traps faster than I expected."

"And you still made food for me. You're a good kid, Y/N. That's why I'm here." Canary set down her cup and leaned forward, clasping her hands together. "I'm here to offer you a deal."

She didn't miss the way Y/N's jaw clenched.

"What is it?"

"How would you like," Canary mused, "to become my protégé? We may not have the same superpowers, but I can train you in terms of combat, stealth, teamwork. You're good at what you do, but there is always room for improvement."

This was followed by silence.

Dinah watched as Y/N raised her chin, looking down at her through her lashes. She seemed to be processing the proposal slowly, like she was chewing on something and was deciding whether she liked the taste or not. She tapped the armrest of her chair and pursed her lips.

"What do you get from this?" she finally asked. "What's the catch?"

"I get a protégé," Canary answered plainly. "You can provide help on any missions I go on. Since I'll have helped train you, we'll work together quite well."

"I can't help you find my dad," Y/N disclosed. "I won't help you either. I don't know where he is, and I don't want to know."

"Luckily," Canary replied, "that wasn't even part of the deal. I don't particularly care about locating Ramsey Rosso."

"He can die in a ditch for all I care," Y/N spat.

Canary pondered this for a moment. "Alright. If I or the League apprehends him, or if we get any information about him, we'll inform you, but you decide whether you get more involved than that."

Y/N nodded firmly. "Good. Then I accept."

Dinah smiled at that. She extended her arm, offering Y/N a handshake.

"It's a pleasure doing business with you, Y/N." She smirked. "Or should I call you Bloodlust?"

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gofancyninjaworld · 1 year

Text

Morality pets redux

Some parts of this I've posted here before. In the light of the manga's Psychic Sisters arc, I thought it was worth putting my thoughts together. Long-ass post.

"I don’t believe our lives change completely for the better at a short notice. It’s all the small progress we make that’s important ..." -- ONE, interviewed in Yamada Reiji’s Young Sunday ep. 30.

I'm here to talk about characters changing their lives as a result of an important interaction. Part A will seem quite obvious to many, but I ask you to bear with me as it's the foundation from which to build.

A: The Moment

For a guy who doesn't believe in sudden changes, ONE sure has a lot of characters seeming to do just that. Morality pets, the characters who force other characters to look into themselves and learn to be better people, have been a staple of One-Punch Man since the beginning. They're everywhere!

To pick a few (there are many more):

Saitama had the Butt-Chinned kid. His entire destiny changed because of this child.

The seminal moment (chapter 2)

Garou has Tareo.

There's nothing he wouldn't do for this kid (chapter 91 online /93 in print)

Genos gets Tatsumaki. Somehow, this cranky, complicated little asshole whose hands are none too clean and who’d savage him nearly as happily as she does monsters is just what the doctor ordered for his personal development. No one said morality pets had to be cute or helpless!

Feisty, isn't she? Yet she's got things to teach (chapter 133 online/137 in print)

And Tatsumaki has Saitama.

chapter 182

B: Before the Moment

“Look at a stone cutter hammering away at his rock, perhaps a hundred times without as much as a crack showing in it. Yet at the hundred-and-first blow it will split in two, and I know it was not the last blow that did it, but all that had gone before.” ― Jacob August Riis (1849-1914)

So how do we address the contradiction between what ONE says he writes and what we see? By noting that every apparently Damascene conversion turns out to have roots. The reason the Morality Pets are so for the characters is that they force into focus a moral issue the characters have been struggling with and get the characters to make a decision about the issue.

Saitama

Saitama's encounter with the butt-chinned kid and Crablante was not the first time he'd thought of becoming strong enough to fight monsters. He'd been desperately hating being weak even back in middle school, and had been muscle training since.

So he decided to do something about it (extra chapter: 200 Yen)

What Crablante brought into focus was that becoming so strong that he could defeat any monster was something he wanted to 100% do, rather than something he worked on in between work. More importantly, it was something he wanted to do to be a hero. I'll revisit this in the next section.

Chapter 2

Genos

Genos confronted two important philosophical questions that have troubled him. The first is who needs help. Heroes help those who can't so the direction of travel is allegedly clear -- help flows from the strong to the weak, so the stronger you are, the less help you need/deserve/get. When he sets out to follow after Tatsumaki and help her, we see him consider that question explicitly, remembering Saitama coming through for Mumen Rider. The answer to who needs help is anybody, regardless of capability. Which is a radical change to the sense of noblesse oblige that prevails unexamined.

What is a hero for, if they're not for everyone? (chapter 143)

The second is another that's troubled him for a long long while: where the balance of destroying enemies versus protecting others lies. Genos has been as strict a utilitarian as Metal Knight is, with the difference that he's willing to lay down in front of the trolley himself if need be. The cold logic of the matter is that if there's any innocent people to kill to stop a terrible threat from killing many more people, heroes are the right people to kill. They're the people who are prepared to die for others. Genos acknowledges explicitly that killing heroes would have been something he'd do without hesitation if the outcome was that a monster as terrible as Black Sperm didn't escape.

To sacrifice a few to save many more would seem moral (chapter 150)

So what changed the calculus? Tatsumaki. By working so closely with her, she ceased to be a hero in the abstract, or even just a person. She was the person he’s flown in the teeth of one of the most terrifying monsters ever to give her space to work. She’s the person he’s plunged down a mile to summon help for, then clambered back up to guard her when she could no longer protect herself. She’s the person he’s carried in his arms, giving his back to every obstacle and blow so as to keep safe. Furthermore, he’s seen and empathises with Fubuki’s fear for her sister’s well-being and that impels him to try that much harder for Tatsumaki. And Tatsumaki is a person who really, really doesn't want to die.

But when 'heroes' ceases to be an abstract concept and becomes a small, scared woman who trusts you... (chapter 145)

Therefore, when push came to shove, the question wasn't 'are you going to kill a dozen heroes to save millions of lives?' It was: 'are you going to kill Tatsumaki? Is that your idea of justice? REALLY?' It's at that point that he gets on top of her to shield her from being stamped to death, to protect her come what may. It might not have worked out as well as it did in the end, but no matter: Genos has decided that his path to justice and strength does not lie in strategically sacrificing others.

...somehow, the 'moral' sacrifice cannot be countenanced (chapter 150)

Tatsumaki

Tatsumaki might have surprised some for not appearing to change when Genos had quite graphically showed her that others could indeed help her. Quite simply, she wasn't yet in the right place. It's worth noting that she had reached out to Fubuki to help her extract Psykos and it couldn't have gone any worse: all her worst fears appeared to be validated. The enemy was all too real, Fubuki's hangers-on had a traitor in their midst, and the ones who weren't traitorous were too weak to be of any help. And yet, when she looks around the room, is it with a sense of vindication at having all her warnings come to pass? No, it's with sadness: she's sad that it's come to this yet again.

Rarely has a person been sadder to be able to say 'I told you so' (chapter 177)

She really wants things to go differently but she can't see how. And that's how it comes to be that she's prepared to change what she does to not end up all alone again.

Surely there has to be another way (chapter 182)

C: Afterlife of The Moment

“A farmer went out to sow his seed... Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root..." Matthew 13:3-6 (NIV)

No epiphany, no matter how strong, will last unless there's a way to support it. ONE has been no slouch in exploring the way in which epiphanies turn into lasting change.

Saitama

Back when Saitama was still new in his hero journey, his neighbourhood was still populated, and being thanked by people he helped was the thing that gave him the strength to persist through his travails.

What gave his struggles meaning (extra chapter 'Brushing up')

Indeed, when we first get to hear Saitama's thoughts, we find that what's getting him down (other than fights being boring) is that he can no longer see that his actions have any positive effect on the world. His neighborhood was empty -- everyone having fled for their lives -- and monsters kept coming day after day.

Once he lost people around him, he started to lose himself (chapter 5)

The reason that saving the ugly child had been so important to him comes back to him when he's looking at the bodies of the fallen heroes, slain by Cosmic Garou. He'd been so lost in the sauce of seeking personal gratification that he'd forgotten that he'd become a hero to help others. It might involve great fights, but that had never been the point. Tragically, he realised it too late. Luckily for him (and to stop the story from ending too soon), Saitama's gotten a do-over. Only he's forgotten. Oh dear.

Remembering what mattered too late (chapter 166)

Genos

In the aftermath of King (really Garou) appearing to scatter the cadres and Saitama arrive to check on him, we see Genos doubting himself. He'd already been unsure if he'd done the right thing. Maybe what he'd really done was to chicken out because he wasn't prepared to die. So he asks Saitama. Getting the answer that not throwing his life away was indeed a sign of strength, it was the validation he needed to commit to a new path. What that path will look like, ah, we just have to wait and see.

Most necessary validation. Also, geeze Genos, learn to take a compliment, will ya? (chapter 155)

Tatsumaki

While it's too early to know what will happen, the fact that Tatsumaki has a sister who loves and trusts her enough to already have a relationship with her, and who is interested in having a better realtionship with her is a good start.

It helps a lot that those two actually like each other (chapter 176)

The way we see her at the end of chapter 182, standing with the Blizzard Group, is grounds for cautious optimism that she will be able to learn a new way of relating to others. It won't be perfect or perfectly smooth sailing, but what in this story is?

This is better than sitting miserable and alone again -- let's hope it sticks! (chapter 182)

D: No Freebies

Right, let's sum up. There's a reason insurance companies jack up premiums for drivers who have been in accidents: people really suck at learning from experience. Until we decide that we are ready to learn, things that happen to us are just things that happen. Even if it's our fault. This has no relationship to IQ, unfortunately.

Many stories are fond of the life-changing moment, and in particular, the life-changing interaction with another person. What ONE has been doing is to dig into this idea a bit more (each statement is <20 words).

The life-changing interaction is something seen as important by the actor.

They find this important because something within them has them open to change and the interaction addresses it.

Life-changing moments only become life-changing with ongoing reinforcement.

I think overall that it's a more realistic way of approaching personal change than many stories do it.

And that's me. What do you think?

#OPM #manga #meta #long #Saitama #Tatsumaki #Genos #what appears to be sudden change turns out to have both roots and a support system #and while ONE isn't telling a big story of a small change in OPM he's very mindful of the ethos with which he wrote MP100 #it's also interesting that as the webcomic gives characters fewer experiences they also have less opportunity to change #ONE doesn't cheat and tell us that the manga interactions are happening off-screen in the wc #it's all not over by a long chalk: looking forward to seeing how the characters continue to change

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charmixpower · 1 year

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What do you think the internal dynamics of the Specialists are? Like towards each other personally and also tactically on the field

Ok, I'm gonna try and make this short or else we're gonna be here all week

My first specialist ask I can't needlessly include Nabu (my love) in XDD

Combat Dynamics

Aka the short part

Sky:

Small hc but Sky at first didn't like swords because he was scared of hurting people but having their son be a RF specialist was good pr so his parents just decided he would be

Sky is good at working with someone, his decision making skills are piss poor (see: the show) but he can follow orders and stick to a plan like no one else so he usually handles the main threat or goes for the objective

His main combat skills is dueling, he's fucking amazing at it

Brandon:

Brandon is the leader because I say so. He's better at commutation and leading in general. He easily keeps track of everyone's skills and helps everyone work together despite their differences

His role in combat is usually crowd control with his broad sword, and his secondary is mostly used to taking people out rather than keeping them at bay

He has the most experience in combat

Timmy:

Handles the more technical aspects but isn't much of a combat planner. He can plan how to make defensives, but cant plan how to fight if that makes sense. Like the s2 planning is how to deal with a incoming threat, but he can't lead an army and call out mid combat commands like Tecna could

Prefers the ship or not being on the ground in the fight in general

Main combat skill is sharp shooting with literally anything you give him

Riven:

Riven is good at real fights. Like ones without rules, where the only objective is to win and not get hurt/survive. Most of his skills aren't legal moves in RF but they are useful as fuck

He's also good at breaking into places but he's shit at sneaking which is hilarious, but he's amazing at distractions

His combat skills lie mostly in fights where he can use his environment to his advantage

Helia:

Helia is actually the one who is surprisingly good at commanding mid battle he just hates it and refuses to do it bc he makes him scared

He's nervous and avoids the spotlight for fear of fucking up but has been so entrenched in this stuff for his whole life that he can pretty easily think about these things. It's like a logic puzzle

Main combat skills are his strings, and witch magic, he's also good at medic stuff which is a hc I picked up from somewhere else I can't remember I am sorry

Preface! Who is closest to who?

Nabu can finally be included!!

I try to keep these all balanced bc I feel bad if someone is everyone's least favorite

It's like a puzzle, I figure out everyone strongest ties and just fill in the spaces from there

Sky:

Brandon, Timmy, Nabu, Helia, Riven

Brandon:

Sky, Riven, Timmy, Nabu, Helia

Timmy:

Helia, Sky, Brandon, Riven, Nabu

Helia:

Timmy, Nabu, Riven, Sky, Brandon

Riven:

Nabu, Brandon, Helia, Timmy, Sky

Nabu:

Riven, Helia, Sky, Brandon, Timmy

Personal relationships

Sky & Brandon

S1: Their relationship is p complicated actually. There's a lot of co dependacy that was sorta forced on them. Sky straight up has never been allowed to function on his own, always having someone assigned to watch him, and Brandon hasn't been allowed to exist without being in charge of something. So they're relationship is complicated. On top of that, Sky recognizes most of what his parents say as bullshit, he's just too scared of them to do anything, but Brandon doesn't! So that's a dimension. They care a lot about each other but their up bringing makes life complicated

S2: Sky and Brandon are starting to separate from each other. They're still best friends but they've both be introduced to the idea of boundaries and are considering implementing them. It's slow going and they both miss having a "roll" and always having someone they can just expect to go along with them. Co-depdant relationships are comforting, and trying to move away is hard, they both end up trying to continue the same co dependacy with their partners, which is not good for either Bloom or Stella because both of them are EXTREMELY SUSPECTABLE to this kind of thing, its a bit of a mess. They both need real identifies outside of the ones assigned to them

S3: THEY HAVE SEPARATED AND ARE HEALING AND HAVE THEIR OWN IDENTIES AND ARE STILL BEST FRIENDS!!! Its still hard for them to see each other normally, and they feel very safe and comfortable when in each other's presence bc of their past dynamic, but they are being separate people. Sky's unfortunate mind control by his parents into the roll they want from him really scared him into trying to be his own person, when previously he was the one who struggled the most with it

Sky & Timmy

S1: They get along. Timmy appreciates that Sky protects him from bullies, and Sky just finds Timmy cool to be around

S2: Now that Timmy has begun growing a back bone he goes "Hey why are you hovering over me? I can handle myself now. Don't you have your own problems to worry about?" Sky has a LOT of anxious energy and he is channeling it into other people and Timmy no longer wants to deal with that

S3: Timmy thinks Sky is a fucking dumbass of the highest caliber (big fucking affectionate) and will help his friends destroy anyone who hurts him. They're on equal footing now, no weird dynamics, all is good

Sky & Riven

S1: Mutually don't like each other. Riven is paranoid and Sky has a tendency to just say shit, so they constantly but heads due to miscommunication

S2: Riven doesn't like him but Sky is intent on mother henning the depressed onion. He lets it slip that he thinks Sky would want him dead, Sky is horrified, and Riven thinks he's just trying to save face

S3: Riven finally believes that Sky's attempts at friendship are genuine, and steps in to comfort him after mind control trauma. They are friends

Sky & Helia

S2: Helia is standoffish but deferres to Sky and doesn't bother questioning enough that Sky never really feels the need to make a thing out of the fact Helia doesn't talk to people...they're very neutral about each other

S3: Helia has come out of his shell as the chaos gremlin he is and tries to fucking drop Erendor no hesitation. They still don't talk much but they consider themselves ride or die

Brandon & Timmy

S1: Protects Timmy from bullies but also tries to gently coax him into being more assertive, something Timmy didn't want him to do at the time. So he's thankful that he's so nice but also is aggressively hiding in his comfort zone

S2: Brandon's lack of coddling is a breath of fresh air, and he's also someone that Timmy can just have a conversation with without huge biases, fuck yeah

S3: They are vibing. Brandon doesn't quite believe Timmy when he says Tecna is out there like Sky does, but he's willing to hear him out. Mutual trust and understanding

Brandon & Riven

S1: Brandon is the only person Riven will listen to and the only person Riven respects. Riven reminds Brandon a lot of himself when he was early into being a servant, first fighting assassins, dealing with awful rich ppl. Brandon goes out of his way to try and include Riven and make him feel comfortable in the group. He recognizes Riven's behavior as a coping mechanism, a bad one that hurts people but one none the less, so has the easiest time interacting with him. Riven feels Brandon is the only person in the school that actually cares

S2: Brandon being the most emotionally intelligent has allowed him to be a VERY important part of Riven's post Darcy support system. Helping Riven keep up with the stuff he learned in therapy, helping him cope better. Fun stuff. Unfortunately for Brando, Riven is officially clear headed enough to point out that Brandon seems to think he's inherently of less value than Sky. Not like as his job, but like as a person. And is now picking at all of Brandon's long held propaganda, which makes Brandon SO fucking uncomfortable. Brandon's personality and mode of functioning has been severely impacted by the conditioning he went through, the fact that he's definitely killed someone, dealing with rich people who do whatever they want. Brandon carefully hides these from normal people, and Riven is like "if they don't like the real you then fuck them. Your trauma isn't your fault."

S3: FRIENDS!! They kick each other when they fall back into bad habits. Riven tries his best to communicate to Brandon when Erendor and Samara go to Valtor, that they've always been awful and that his conditioning was child abuse. He's supporting Brandon now. Riven doesn't understand all the political stuff but he can yell Brandon's own words back at him. Riven positively loses it when he finds out that Brandon has been kidnapped and held in a cell before (I still can't believe that's canon) and Brandon appreciates him

Brandon & Helia

S2: The way Brandon introduces Helia implies he doesn't like him which I think is fucking hilarious. I think they both recognize what the other is like and because their so similar they piss each other off because they keep stepping on each other's toes. I also think it would be really funny if the two smart chill planners had a secret beef going on. Brandon doesn't vibe with Helia knowing so much about him without talking, Helia doesn't vibe with the colder aspects of Brandon's personality that was developed though training. Self Identification though the other /neg

S3: they're far more comfortable with expressing themselves now and have unfortunately for everyone else figured out they have a similar sense of humor. Brandon will fuck with people, and Helia will commit to the bit. God help the fool who draws both of their attention at once

Riven & Helia

S2: Helia sees depressed s2 Riven and goes "we are friends now" and Riven just has to deal with it. Helia was first interested in Riven bc Saladin specifically mentioned him the most often as a victim, so Helia wanted to look out for him and it spiraled out of control form there. They're both willing to go ape shit but in different ways, this is their friendship

S3: Chaotic dumbass friends. Riven aggressively has been bitching at Helia to actually talk to the rest of the specialists, much to the local hermit's distaste, and then found out they were cool. He is now Significantly more unhinged. Woe

#winx club #asks #rus chatters #winx specialists #winx sky #winx brandon #winx timmy #winx riven #winx helia

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hecckyeah · 2 months

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#3, 4, 15, 24 for the fic ask game!!

Hii!!! Thanks so much for the ask <3

3. Are there any specific themes you enjoy exploring in your fics?

Ooh, this is such a good question but I feel like my answer is going to be sort of vague. It really really REALLY depends on the themes I'm going with for each individual fic. I do love LOVE playing with the found family trope and all its facets and nuances, but I don't get to it all that often. But a theme that keeps cropping up (and I probably do this subconsciously) is fighting with the unknown, if that makes sense. In which my characters are making peace with something beyond their control. Hmm I wonder if my writing is reflecting my own psyche or something. Weird

4. How do you channel characters' voices and personalities?

HOURS AND HOURS AND HOURS OF CONSUMING THEIR CONTENT. Oh my gosh I swear I've single-handedly kept the Youtube scene compilation people in business. I'll literally watch them over and over and over again until I'm thinking in their voices and I can't get rid of it, and that's when my best dialogue happens. I absolutely suck at dialogue unless I've been living and breathing those characters for days on end. If I can't hear the physical voices in my mind's ear (is that a thing?) then I basically can't write them. Same with their personalities and physical quirks. I need to be able to see and visualize each movement, or it feels off and foreign and I end up trashing whatever I write. Basically I have to play out the scene I'm writing in my mind like it's a movie, and if I can imagine that scene in the show/movie/book it came from, then I know I'm probably on the right track.

15. Do you plan your fics or prefer to let the story unfold as you write?

Hah, yeah I'm a write-as-you-go kinda gal. It works out well for one-shots, since the format lends itself to a wandering, thoughtful kind of style, but that's definitely why I struggle with longform multi-chapter fics, since my characters always make decisions they didn't clear with me first, and I'm usually sitting here rolling my eyes and trying to get the story back on track as they go do their own thing. Even the couple of times I did plan the fic out from beginning to end, I still ended up making changes on the fly and it ended in a totally different place than I'd imagined. Basically I just write in a direction that makes sense, and then I edit afterward to make it look like I planned it all from the beginning. Not always, because sometimes my brain cooperates and everything comes together without any need for post-editing, and I love it when that happens :)))

24. What advice would you give to someone who wants to start writing fanfiction?

I would definitely say, try out a few styles of writing and see what sticks!! If you hate longform or can't wrap your mind around first person perspective, then don't push it! Stick to what feels right and then hone that skill. Don't worry about what other fanfiction writers are doing, because having a unique style is a good thing. If you sound like every other author, that's how people will see you -- as just one of the masses. Write in the style you enjoy, and people will notice your passion and love for your craft.

If you haven't written a lot in general and are just starting out with writing altogether, READ A LOT, all the time. Read good literature, like the old classics. Read YA fantasy. Read graphic novels. Read everything. You can't write if you haven't read first, even if what you're writing for is a movie or show. It's like deciding to paint a picture of a shark, even though the only description you've ever heard of it is that it has sharp teeth and is long and bluish-gray with fins. Yeah, you might end up with a blob-type shape that maybe could be interpreted as an abstract shark, but in order to paint a realistic shark you need to have examined all its sides and colors and shapes and movements. You have to know the shark like the back of your hand. You can't learn anything about writing by watching movies. You need to know how stories are structured in a word format before trying to put it all together yourself.

And if you've written a lot before but are just starting out in the fanfiction world, I would just say that fandom is a totally weird and different beast altogether. Post small things, post big projects, and realize that not everything is going to be popular. Find the joy in the craft itself and see the recognition as the cherry on top.

Find a niche and explore it!! Dig into a couple of key moments of the piece of media you're creating for, and really expand and explore the themes there.

And in the end, just write because you love the media, and nothing else. If you fall out of love with the book/movie/show, it's OKAY to stop writing for it. You are NOT a failure for putting a fanfic on hiatus for a long time. You're not getting paid for it, and fans are not entitled to you slapping together a halfhearted ending to something you don't feel passionate about anymore. Leave the door open to finish it the right way in case you come back to the fandom and want to pick up where you left off. We're all just human, and obsessions come and go.

Write because you love to write, and try not to worry about the nitty gritty of it all.

---

questions for fic writers

#ahhhh sorry this got so long!!!#I really do tend to ramble don't I #also!#to whoever reads this #if you're a new fic writer and need some encouragement/tips/a big sister to tell you you're doing great #hit me up #i'm always down to chat!#<3333 #asks #fanfiction #writing

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noisytenant · 4 months

Text

rambling personal/introspection i guess, positive-ish

while im not doing "well" in general ive been starting to feel a sense of peace and unburdening with some things.

i think that given the pain of living in certain conditions, it can feel unbearable to imagine going another day with things as they are. i spent so much of my life "waiting it out" that i felt like it would be a crime against myself to not respect my feelings and emotional needs as they came.

but when you set yourself on addressing these things, sometimes you get buried in a cacophony of calls to action, an endless stream of internal requests that often contradict each other. i thought that perhaps i could chart an efficient course to meeting the most needs with the least actions, but strategizing takes time away from action too.

so i'm trying to loosen up and not set a strict dogma for how and when things happen, so long as they comply with external needs (eg there is a ticking clock on how long i can go without income before major and bad life changes activate; i need to eat and sleep a certain amount every day). i'm trying not to be too hard on myself for not living up to expectations and to accept certain patterns of behavior, to be more curious and to not immediately problematize them.

for example i'm watching wordgirl a lot and it's somewhat avoidant, but it's also something that lubricates the meeting of other needs and makes me happy, so it's not a "bad" or even fully "maladaptive" strategy. just a complicated one.

in the time shortly before my breakup, something i feel like i have still only fractionally processed (and that's okay according to my hip new state of mind), i felt like there would be disastrous consequences for less-than-ideal behavior. knowing the relationship and my mental health were both on the ropes, i wanted really badly to do things the best way i knew how. but i think it kind of would have been okay if i did it any other way too. it would have sucked but been fine if we screamed at each other, it would have sucked but been fine if we stayed together, i think anything would have been okay because you have no choice but to live with your actions and keep acting forever

something i struggle a lot with is in committing to decisions vs. being flexible. big questions in the fight for agency. i can't prescribe a heuristic for deciding whether you stick to a principle or change your mind, but in the moment i'm basically going back to the strategy of, "i'm going to do things however i'm doing them until something gives way and makes me need to change paths". and i think that's a freeing sentiment, one i'm able to access because i'm no longer in a relationship--i don't need to worry for two. i hope in my future relationships, platonic and romantic, i can maintain a greater sense of security that is resilient to these shifting tides.

a big thing also is that i'm temporarily electing not to dig into introspection, something i've seen suggested but hadn't really understood and kind of resented. in practice i'm using it to mean, "the most dire parts of my inner world will communicate with me if they are relevant. given my immediate needs, it might be better to wait until i have more breathing room before consciously exploring things." so i'm trying not to worry about, for example, being a person who forgets parts of its own life and experience because those parts will come back to me in due time.

ultimately i'm trying to give in to spontaneity. a feeling is only intolerable if i cannot tolerate it; if i'm finding that i'm avoiding or dreading something, it might really be intolerable, but i am constantly reminded how easy it is to actually survive and persist throughout the pain (this is only my personal experience)

it's hard and hurts to know you're carrying these burdens that ache for release and you're unable to address them completely. i hope to be able to give myself the care i deserve sooner rather than later. but maintaining stability and progress is a kind of care too!

and that's the nature of living, isn't it? ultimately, i want to be honest with myself and others. it's evidently the case that i can't solve every problem of mine overnight just because it would be nice if i could. i think all of me (or most of me, let me not speak for everyone) can appreciate an honest "no i can't solve your ass indefinitely" over "sure honey just a minute [doesn't do anything]". so for the moment i'm happy to be here and hoping i will be in better circumstances soon.

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primnroses · 1 year

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I love the unwritten jail because it's so true, I've noticed so many times sakura could be there but she isn't and I can't even imagine how you feel since you came up with the "unwritten" thing. it's so sad I miss her lots she's the best out there and she's unaware

The amount of times she could be in there but she isn't is immeasurable. And it makes me mad.

Starting with the fact that Sakura is a jōnin and they take political decisions about the village but it's only Shikamaru and some original characters in the scene. But not only about her rank but because Sakura is Naruto's friend and can help him just like Sasuke does, and on top of that she and Shikamaru are the most intelligent individuals of Konoha and they work well together (Pain Arc)

Other than that, there is a handful of times when the main cast have actually needed medical attention or they directly show up in a hospital.

This is chapter 55, after Kurama dies and Sasuke loses his Rinnegan. I don't know if you remember the famous Sasuke under the sunset and the "let's head back to Sakura" scene. This is the setting. Shikamaru is told that Sasuke, Naruto, Boruto and Kawaki are back and that they're wounded so he decided to take the Medical Department to the scene to do their job.

To put you in context: the last time Sakura appeared in the manga was in chapter 44. The last time the Medical Department appeared in the manga was in chapter 70. The scene I just talked about is in chapter 55.

The anime had to add these scenes because it made no sense to make Shikamaru say the Medical Department personnel were needed but then not making it in a single manga panel.

This was episode 219. Sakura was in charge of monitoring Kawaki, Boruto, Sasuke and Naruto. There was also some insight about the consequences of Sasuke and Naruto losing their powers.

She had to be added. That was really sad in my opinion. As much as I loved seeing Sakura work and Team 7, I don't understand why Ikemoto straight up refuses to draw her.

Next one and among the parts that annoy me the most is this current arc. I said before that the last time the Medical Department appeared in the manga was number 70.

This is the Medical Office that is located inside the Hokage Residence. It's chapter 68, the first time it's introduced that after Kawaki stabbed Boruto, he self healed through technology. This office debuted in the anime first and then it's appeared other times in the manga.

Needing attention or not isn't important, because it's clear that he's getting medical care. My question is why are there random non-doctor characters? Why isn't Sakura in her workplace and participating with the main cast? I don't hate Ibiki but why is he there? This scene is dragged till chapter 70 when Kawaki leaves the Medical Office to go to the lab. Not a single time did Sakura show her face.

And just like this anon, a lot of issues. After a fight, somebody needs healthcare but Sakura is never there. She's the most intelligent person after Shikamaru but she's never asked for help. She's a scientist and an expert in drugs and poisons, but you don't see her work with Katasuke or Amado. Amado put a bomb on Shikadai's neck but Naruto is allowing him to make pills for his son without the supervision of the medical expert of the village.

I could go on and on but it would be worthless because she's really wasted as a character, reduced into a random convenient healer that isn't in the scene when she could be needed.

But these days, after reading some chapters, I have decided to not complain anymore because there are other characters that appear in the manga but have been written horribly. I'm really relieved that the Medical Department hasn't suffered like the Barrier Team, which is constantly made fun of and talked down by Kawaki, and whose members are unable to do their job when requested. Their leader is also replaceable by some random character with glasses that can do the same techniques as a ninja with a hiden technique supposed to be secret (but about that it's not a problem because that same tech has been used since the Fourth Shinobi World War). That's why I don't want to see her these days, I don't want to see random machines doing her job.

I can make better use of characters than the author and I wish I knew who it is so I could blame them. Now that Naruto is sealed and the writing has already established that the perfect replacements are Sakura or Shikamaru, I don't even see her being mentioned at all. That's how the manga has erased her from existence.

And as I said a couple of days ago, she's the most popular female character from the franchise but it isn't a catalyst for appearance, being popular won't guarantee a spot in the plot, so it's down to hope month after month.

#sakura haruno #inbox

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147days · 2 years

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I’m obsessed with that comics scene where Buffy asks Spike to come with her when she goes to get an abortion. God, the TRUST that must have gone into that, the way that of all her friends and family, he’s the one she wants there with her for support, and he’s the one she decides to tell. Also the fact that she says beforehand that “I was ready to ask you to run away with me” because?? I just??? It would be one thing if it was a “it takes a village” thing where she was going to ask Willow and Xander and everyone to help her raise the kid, but she specifically said that her first instinct was to run away with Spike and only Spike and for him to act as the father of her child when it’s not even his kid and they aren’t even together romantically yet. When I tell you she never has been and never will be normal about him.

AAHHH I KNOW!!!! that scene is SO powerful cause hello, that is HER PERSON!!! when things come down to it spike is who she knows she can count on with anything and he will be there for her 10000%!!!!! and i love that it's such great continuity, we've seen her turn to him for help as early as s5 when she asked him to look after joyce and dawn and again when they ran away from glory and also in the big fight and then all of s6 where he was the only one who understood her but he was also the only one she WANTED to confide in and counted on to help her make things better but there was still such a big layer of distrust there too. and then the whole beautiful growth in s7 and then this!!!! she doesn't just trust him with her life she would have trusted him with her child! i am not a fan of kid fic in the slightest but even i can admit that's cute as fuck and says so much. but then to ask him to go with her to get an abortion which must have been such a crazy hard and painful decision. it's just. i can't deal with how beautiful it is that she finally lets him really be her other half without any of the hang ups she previously had about it. and yeah they weren't even together at that point!!!!! it's just. i know not everyone loves the comics but i've always been a really big fan and i just love stuff like this SO MUCH.

also i'll never forget the rush of going to pick up the new comic each month and then when we got to s9 and we got scenes like this one and it was like. OH SHIT SPUFFY IS HAPPENING IT'S REALLY HAPPENING THIS TIME IN A GOOD AND HEALTHY AND REAL WAY. it seriously was some of my very favourite moments in fandom living in anticipation of them finally actually getting together. thinking about it makes me miss getting new content! (and no i don't think the current comic runs count in the same way)

#spuffy #btvs #buffy comics #btvs comics #ask me stuff!#momsoppposed2theoccult #*btvs

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herearedragons · 8 months

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More Kyana moments (and general thoughts) from Broken Circle and the resolution of Connor's quest:

You don't really get to hang out with your companions in the Fade during Lost In Dreams (they just disappear one you free them), but I think it'd be fun if there was one final stretch of the Fade the party had to brave together. You know, as a bonding experience.

Speaking of bonding experiences: the 'saving your companions from their nightmares' sequence is pretty intense for Kyana. She's barely keeping it together herself, but she still makes it her priority to get the others out. She's not exactly graceful about it, she's grabbing them by the shoulders and yelling at them that this isn't real, but her intensity is what makes them listen. It's a moment of sincerity that shows she really does care, and it's important for Wynne and Alistair, who know her well at this point, but it's probably wild for Zevran, who, again, has known her for two days. If giving him a pair of gloves to replace his ruined ones was a big deal, I can't imagine what goes through his head as the same person fights literal demons for his sake.

After the Fade sequence, there was the encounter with Cullen, which I didn't expect to be meaningful in any way, but... it kind of was? First of all, I'm pretty sure he only ever had a crush on Kyana because he never directly interacted with her. That's literally the only possible explanation. Kyana herself probably would have had... some sort of reaction to finding this out under any other circumstances, but there's just too much other stuff going on for her to care. Weirdly, though, I think this is the first and last moment when she's able to sympathize with Cullen. She just made it out of another demon's prison, and she almost lost it in there. She looks at Cullen and knows that this could have been her. She's not taking his ravings seriously, though.

I know that most of Kyana's and Irving's close relationship exists in my headcanon, but still, saving him and hearing him immediately go "Wynne, so that was your doing" was... interesting. I decided that I'm not retconning it, that's exactly what happens. Irving barely says anything to Kyana, except for saying that it's good she was there, and... it makes sense. She's no longer his project, he's no longer invested in her as a student, and if he still has any lingering attachment to her, he's not showing it. And I thought that maybe she'd show some vulnerability and be glad to see him, or she'd be angry at him, but she's just surprised and kind of numb at barely being acknowledged. She's been through literal hell and that's all she gets. Irving doesn't even ask if she's alright, not even after everything is over, just goes straight to business, discussing the treaties.

You know who does ask how she is? Wynne. You know who does show her some actual compassion? WYNNE. Part of it is definitely the fact that Wynne was in Ostagar and in the Fade with Kyana, and thus has a better idea of what she's been through, but also, she's just nicer than Irving, I guess. And in the first conversation Kyana has with her after they leave the Tower, Wynne: a) supports her decision to help Jowan escape, b) says that the Circle is proud of her for coming back to help. Not only is she praising Kyana, but she's praising her choices instead of her skills. That means a lot, and Kyana's voice probably gets a little choked up when she replies to Wynne, and she doesn't understand why. Their relationship just became a lot more meaningful and I am here for it.

Connor's exorcism went pretty smoothly, all things considered. I used persuasion to make the demon leave without a fight, because in my mind, Desire just sees this mage who just tore apart another demon's domain, harrowed and changed by the experience but absolutely ready to throw down again, and decides that the boy just isn't worth it.

The fun thing is, I saw the option to extort the demon for an extra skill point and I really wanted it. So I did it. That does not line up with Kyana's previous characterization, but I think it does fit into the narrative of her being different now. Pre-Fade imprisonment Kyana would never accept anything from a demon, but.. maybe she's just not that afraid of demons anymore. She still thinks that blood magic is a bad idea, but maybe being stranded in the Fade with a bunch of demons and single-handedly killing all of them left her kind of desensitized, and also absolutely terrifying to other demons, who can probably still smell Sloth's (and its lackeys') guts on her. So she sees Desire trying to politely excuse itself and goes "oh, you want to leave? sure, what will you give me?". It's their turn to be afraid and make deals for their freedom.

#herearedragons meta #oc: kyana amell

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