#@ everyone who followed me after i stopped watching spn.....

[dodgebolts]

the moment that absolutely no one has been waiting for... here are the results of the dtblr survey that went out last week! Thank you to the 650 people who responded, easily eclipsing the 598 responses that were submitted in September :]

Open the read more to see the results!

Starting out, we have a newcomer to our top 8, welcome Awesamdude, who stole a spot from Quackity (20.7% -> 3.1%). Since the last survey, more people say they main all 3 Dream Team members and less people are maining their friends, most of them slipping under 10% of respondents saying they mained them save for the lovely Foolish Gamers.

Next, there was an increase in people who came for and still are here for the Dream Team—with a decrease in the proportion of respondents for nearly every other category. Dream team forever!

While most people (85%) have been around before 2022, we have a greater proportion of newer people around now! In the last survey, that number was even greater at 93%. So don't feel bad for being new, it's actually way more likely than you think, and a very warm welcome to the 5% of people who joined after the face reveal/meetup <3

Next is a question that I think is really interesting: has watching the Dream team influenced how people play Minecraft? More people now don't play as much, which tracks considering that they play Minecraft a lot less than they used to.

Now for a rather sore subject for a lot of people, since there's been quite a shift in who plays in MCC since the last time. In the last poll, 60.8% of people said they watched Dream. Now, those viewers have dispersed across creators or just stopped watching altogether, with both George and Sapnap gaining 10% from their numbers in the fall. However, 25% of people said that they don't watch anymore, a huge jump from the 4.5% in the fall. RIP MCC Dream, you're missed severely by the community <3

Next up, Trust Issues has managed to nearly catch up to some of Dream's released music, gaining 8 percentage points from the last survey. Dream if you're out there your fans want it really badly. Release it just for us?

Since the fall, we've seen the official end of the DSMP, so this is more of a legacy question, which is reflected pretty well in the statistics shifting towards people who either don't watch or are very casual about it, our lorehead population shrinking by 4 percentage points from the first survey.

These statistics haven't moved too much since the first one, the trends going pretty much as predicted with following decreasing from main -> alt -> priv (with the exception of Dream whose alt is often confused for his main) and with George and Sapnap having fewer people following them than Dream.

The statistics shift from this question is really interesting, especially given all the shit that's gone down on Twitter since the first survey. The percentage of dtblr who joined the fandom on there increased 7.7%, a gain that knocked down nearly every other platform's percentages. AO3 also makes its debut in the top 6, tying with Reddit exactly.

Much like the twitter following question, these statistics didn't shift too much, with the YouTube algorithm and word of mouth from other people/creators doing most of the heavy lifting of marketing for the Dream Team. Shoutout to the people who found out through either Heat Waves or MrBeast, you guys are on like 2 ends of a horrific spectrum y'all are strong as hell LOL

Now for some shared fandom trauma, these results also didn't change too much from the first survey. However, for this iteration I added Supernatural, as I probably should've done the first time considering this IS the SPN website after all. I managed to grab a few more people than last time out of the 'none of the above' category with its inclusion, so hi all my former and current SPN bloggers o/ <- has never seen the show before

A vast majority of us have watched gaming content in some form before, and fewer people this time have never watched gaming content before. From those who specified which games they'd watched, the titles ranged far and wide, so it's really cool to see all of us under the dtblr umbrella :)

Once again, this question showcases how lurkers truly carry the community on their backs—there's a small decrease in lurkers from last time and an increase in blogging answers, so it seems like some of our lurkers started posting which is awesome :D

Over half of us don't really watch any other MC servers, but there's still a ton of people who like watching them! From the last time I ran the survey, most of the servers—save for Empires and Karmaland—now have fewer dtblr watchers. The QSMP makes a strong debut on the board though, eclipsing half of the other options.

This was a really interesting question, though it seems like the vast majority of people either continued posting on the same blog or took a break and just jumped back into the fray! Also a late welcome to the ~15% of people who either weren't here or started posting after <3

The answers to this question showed some of the most interesting shifts from last fall's data. Fewer people seem to be listening regularly, and the proportion of people who responded no is nearly doubled from the fall's 21%.

These data points were also really interesting to see shift from the fall! Of note, fewer people like and tolerate Jackbox, and more people seem to have warmed up to FPS games—Fortnite, CS:GO, and Valorant all have fewer people in the "don't like & won't watch" category. Still, Valorant is easily the most hated game of the 6 while Geoguessr is still almost universally loved/tolerated.

As expected in the shipping category, DNF dominates any other ships, with Karlnap easily taking the second place. The proportion of Toosh enjoyers has doubled since the fall, up from 14.7%, while the number of non-shippers has halved. Additionally, the proportion of Karlnapity enjoyers has plummeted from 25.4% to less than 10%. Otherwise, most ships have stayed within 3-4 percentage points of their fall numbers!

Once again, Dream seems to have forced the hands of nearly half of us, turning non-RPF shippers into the RPF fandom we are today. Interestingly, the number of "yes" respondents has nearly doubled from the fall, while fewer people responded that they still don't ship RPF. As would make Dream happy probably, the pie chart is colored blue and green.

Now onto some of the demographic questions, we've continued to be very heavily biased towards North America and Europe, with nearly 85% of us coming from those two continents. Compared to the fall, we've gotten proportionally more South American and Oceanian rep. Hey to the Asians/Australians who are probably going to see this when it's first posted! o/

Once again, the majority of us seem to be around the same age as our streamers, with 80% of us falling between the ages of 18 and 30. Don't fret, though! From the fall, the proportion of respondents in both the <18 and >30 age brackets have increased. All in all, nothing too surprising.

The pride parade is still running from last fall, with approximately the same percentage of people identifying as LGBTQIA+ or unsure. Just in time for pride month in a day or so!

I'm not sure if I was just miscounting but I could not for the life of me get all of these little squares into a proper rectangle, so just bear with my weird organization here. Regardless, the majority of us rep the blue and green as our favorite colors, with multiple people specifying the hex code of George's minecraft shirt or a classic teal.

It's been about a month since this has been out, and we still unfortunately haven't gotten It Takes Two back. We're still in the phase 42% of people believe that we're going to stay in for a while, getting bounced back and forth between Dream and George hoping that they can get the other wrangled for it. #I_BELIEVE!

This was kind of a cruel question for most of us, but to the 11 people who answered that have met any of them, know that you're in a very select group of users. I'm jealous!

Now to answer the age-old question of the dtblr 1%, it constitutes those of you with around or over 5,000 followers, while a majority of people have less than 50 followers or just no blog at all. As with most other follower polls I've seen floating around, the responses were heavier towards the bottom, but as is the common advice/adage, follower count means very little here—just start chatting and posting!

For the final question, I thought it'd be interesting to see what dtblr's academic interests are, and also to reaffirm or break my belief that George is like a flame to the moths of CS/Engineering-focused people, which was at least initially supported by the data from the fall. We've got people from all across the diversity of academic fields, with the most people indicating that they're interested in the arts and humanities.

As for my hypothesis: among non-George mains, the proportion of CS/Engineering people is about 5.5%, whereas 18.3% of George mains indicated that they're interested in CS/Engineering. In fact, I took a closer look at all the people who noted their interest in CS/Engineering, and nearly 70% of them said that they mained George. Like I said, moths to a flame. or something. I'm right there with y'all 🫡

That's all! Thanks so much to everyone for responding and waiting for me to get through all of this data, it's always a big task but I love seeing the results. Until next time!

#lyss analyzes #dtblr general survey #idk what else to tag this LOL #sorry it took so long dskgjhdlsjfg #hope it was worth the wait!

[janicho88]

When It All Falls Apart - Chapter 13

Pairing- ex!Jensen x Padalecki Reader

Word count- 4,363

Warnings- Some language. Dealing with a breakup. Sad reader. Angst, If I missed something let me know!

A/N-Jensen finally realizes how bad he screwed up, but someone else is coming in for the reader's attention. A little off canon, SPN ended after 10 years. We still got all the characters in during that time though. Thank you to @writercole and @leigh70 for your help with this. You two are amazing!!

Summary-Y/N Padalecki loved acting on Supernatural.  Working alongside your older brother and your boyfriend, but after ten seasons the guys have chosen to hang up the guns.  Now the three of you are moving on to other projects, but that’s all that needs to change right?  While you have moved to Austin to be closer to your family and boyfriend, Jensen is working elsewhere.  Distance is only the start of your troubles.

Series Masterlist

A ringing phone wakes you from a deep sleep Saturday morning, you fumble to answer it not bothering to see who it is.

“What?” you finally groan out when you hit the right button.

“Well good morning to you too, little sis,” Jeff greets you on the other end. 

“It’s Saturday, I don’t have to work.  I was sleeping, Jeffery.”

He just chuckles on the other end.

“What do you want brother dear?”

“Your niece and nephew have been asking about you.  I wondered if you had any plans today, or if you would like to come over and hang out?  I’ll even make you lunch before I send you home.”

When you don’t respond right away he continues.  “Did you fall back to sleep on me?”

“I’m thinking.  Yes, I’ll come over, but only because Tyler and Katie want me, and because you’re feeding me.”

“I thought that might get you.  Bring your suit, I’ll see you in a little bit.”

“Alright, see ya.”

With a groan you push yourself out of bed to get yourself ready.  You’re looking forward to seeing your niece and nephew, but your bed had been so comfortable.  Forty minutes later you are stopping for a frappuccino and bagel before arriving at their house.   

It’s maybe thirty seconds after you pull in the driveway, that the front door opens and two excited children run out to greet you, with their father watching from the porch.

“What, I don’t get you running out to greet me at my car too?” you tease Jeff, walking up to the house.

 “Uh no.  I don’t think you ever have, or ever will.”

“Fine, whatever.  You don’t love me I get it,” you tease.

“You’re so dramatic.” 

The two kids are telling you all about the plans they have for you today.  The list is a long one and you aren’t sure one day is going to be enough to get it all done.  Tyler wants to show you his newly rearranged room, so that is stop number one.  You leave there with a handful of hot wheel cars he wants to play with.  Of course Katie isn’t going to be left out and her room is next.  She shows off a new doll she wants the two of you to play with also. 

When you reach the living room Mary Jo is just coming in the front door from a store run.  You go offer to help carry in the bags, but Jeff waves you away to go back to the kids.  Sitting in the living room you take turns playing with the toys they each chose.

It doesn’t take too long for the both of them to become bored and want to move on to something else.  Jeff suggests swimming, and everyone changes into their suits and head out back to the pool.  Your brother gets in the water with the kids first and you follow.  MJ sits on the steps watching.   As you are playing with Katie in the shallow end, your sister-in-law questions you about working on Walker.   

Tyler wants you to come swim with him, so you and Jeff switch places, and you play around with him in the water.  When the kids tire out, their parents call them up on the deck to sit and try off while Jeff goes in to throw lunch together.  Tyler is already trying to figure out what you can all do next before he is halfway through his lunch.  He isn’t very happy when MJ tells him his food needs to settle before he can start running around playing tag like he was hoping.

You end up staying until after dinner and the kids wore both themselves and you out.  Back in your apartment you curl up on the couch with a movie when your phone beeps, signaling a text. A smile crosses your face when you see the contact name you gave your new costar.

Toby C- Any plans tomorrow?

Me- Oh yeah, super busy!  Sleep in, possibly watch a movie or if I get up the energy go workout.  What’s up?

Toby C- I heard tonight there was some Summer night thing, it ends tomorrow.  Wasn’t sure if you would be interested?

Me-Maybe…

Toby C- Am I supposed to persuade you somehow?  If so I’m going to need some help with how to do that.

Me- Haha.  What time?  If you tell me before noon it’s an automatic no Mr. Allen.

Toby C- How’s 4?

Me- That could work. Do you want to meet there?”

 Toby C- I’ll pick you up, send me your address.  

Me- Done, See you tomorrow, have a good night.

Toby C- Night.

Turning the movie back on, you look up Summer Nights on your phone.  Hot Summer Nights is something the city has apparently put on for five years now.  There are 12 different venues which host different live acts each over four days.  Pulling up the list of venues you aren’t familiar with any of them.  There are a couple that interest you and some that might be a little much, but you’ll see what Keegan is thinking tomorrow. 

The ringing phone wakes you from a sound sleep Sunday morning.  With a frustrated groan you reach for the offending device from your night stand and manage to answer it without opening your eyes.

“This better be important,” you growl out to the person on the other line.

“Well good morning to you too,” comes with a chuckle from the other end.

“Seriously, Jared?  Why are you calling me this early?  It was Jeff yesterday, now you.  If you two keep this up, I’m going to be an only child.”

“Okay, nine am isn’t that early.  We have earlier call times through the week.”

“We do, that’s why I like sleeping later on the weekends.”

“Yeah, yeah, when you have kids that doesn’t happen.  Do you want to come over this afternoon?  Hang out and have dinner?”

“Thanks, but I already have plans.”

“Real plans, or eating popcorn on your couch plans?”

“Real plans, after I get more sleep.  Thank you, but maybe another time.”

“With who?”

“Ugh, does it matter?”

“Just making sure you’re safe.”

“Keegan, happy?  I’m going back to sleep now.  Bye Jared.”

You hang up before he can say anything else, rolling over you try and go fall back to sleep but it doesn’t happen.  Giving up an hour later you drag yourself from the bed and change into workout clothes to take some of your morning frustrations out on the spin bike in the workout room. 

After showering, laundry and going over the script for this week’s scenes take up the rest of your day.  Just before four there is a knock on your apartment door, opening it you welcome Keegan in.

“Hey, come on in.”

“Hi, thanks.”  He takes a look around slightly shocked, “Um, nice place.”

“It’s small, I know.  That’s the first thing everyone notices.”  Picking up your purse you turn back to him.  “Did you already have a venue in mind you want to check out?”

“I thought it was just music downtown?  I thought the flier I saw said something about coming downtown to check out live bands, I guess I didn’t read too far into it.”

“I pulled it up last night after you texted.  There are twelve different venues with live acts.  Some smaller, some fairly big.”

Grabbing your phone off the table you pull the site back up to show him.  He takes a minute to look through it before turning back to you.

“Have you been to any of these places before?”

“I haven’t, but I didn’t think the last one listed sounded bad.  It’s supposed to be a smaller venue, they serve food, and are featuring different types of music.  The other one.”  You have to look over his shoulder at your phone to find the name.  “That one, The Green Jay seemed similar to the first.  The others all talk about multiple stages and big parties.  I think those might be kinda packed.”

“You’re probably right about that.  Okay, let’s check out, what’s the name of the first one?”  He looks at the screen, “Valhalla.”

Taking out his own phone he types in the address to pull up directions.  They two of you exit the apartment and after you lock up he follows you down the steps.  Getting in the car, you hear his phone announce the bar is 8 minutes away.  He pulls into a parking lot on the corner across the street from the bar.  Looking up, you see The Green Jay is across the other street.

Keegan waits at the front of the car for you and the two of you make your way toward the first stop, to find that they don’t open until 6 pm.

“Oops, guess we should have checked that huh?” you say sheepishly, turning to him.

“Probably.  Well, let’s try the other one.”

That one opens at 5pm, the two of you have forty minutes to kill.  Looking around at your surroundings you see an open business across the street. 

“We could go to the Chess Club.”

Keegan looks at you with raised brows, “I think I’ll see what our other choices are first.”

Turning the other way you see a number of people down the street.  “Stubb’s Bar-B-Q, is down there.  It’s another venue, maybe they’ll be open.”

They were, and also already packed at the outdoor stage.

Inside the bar wasn’t too bad, but the outside area in front of the stage was packed.  Going back inside you find an empty table and sit down. A waitress comes over for your drink order and Keegan adds an order of Nachos. 

“No sense drinking on an empty stomach.”

“You’re a smart one Mr. Allen.”

The drinks arrive and he looks around the restaurant, a band is playing in the background.   “So you live 8 minutes away and haven’t been to any of these places?”  he questions with disbelief.

“Well, I haven’t even been living there a month yet.  I was staying with Jared before that, it’s probably 25, 30 minutes from there.  I was living at Jensen’s place first, when I moved here from LA.  He might have ordered from here before and picked it up, but I don’t think we ever came down here.”

“I didn’t mean to bring up that.  I um…”

“Heard the gossip about that breakup?  It was announced on TV, so it doesn’t really surprise me if you did.”

“Sorry.”

You just shrug, not wanting to get into it too much and bring the mood down.  “How are you liking Texas so far?”

“Good.  Not quite as crazy as California.”

“True.  Which is nice sometimes.”

“It is,” he agrees.

“So where did you find to call home while you’re staying here?”

“I’m leasing an apartment at The District at SoCo.  It’s like 2-3 minutes away from your place.”

“I’ve driven by there, looks nice.”

“It is.  Clean, roomy.  I like it.”

“That’s good.”

The nachos arrive and the conversation slows.  A little after five the tab is paid and the two of you make your way over to The Green Jay.  

The place is already filling up.  You ask Keegan to find a table and you grab some soft drinks from the bar to start.  Trying to slow the pace of your night out.  While at the bar, you find out they don’t serve food but allow you to bring it in from other local restaurants.  The band takes the stage and it’s so loud you aren’t able to hold much of a conversation.  After listening to a few songs from their second band of the night, Keegan asks if you want to check out Valhalla, which should be open now.  

The bands there are just staring for the night, and the place is still fairly empty.  Grabbing drinks first the two of you make your way to a table.  Keegan notices some foosball tables off the side and challenges you to a game.  He ends up winning two rounds and you go back to the table to put in a dinner order.  While you wait, you talk Keegan into an air hockey game.  This time you come out the victor.

When dinner arrives you make your way back to the table and enjoy the music while you eat.  It’s after 9, when the two of you are finally ready to head out.  

Getting to your apartment complex, he walks you up to the door, before saying goodnight.

“Thanks for hanging out with me tonight.”

“It was fun.  Thanks for inviting me,” you respond.

“We’ll have to plan something else again.  See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, have a good night, drive safe.”

“Will do.  Night.”

You wake up Monday to a number of Instagram notifications on your phone.  Opening up the app as you get out of bed you see Keegan tagged you in a post last night.  There are some videos and photos from the different bars, you never even noticed him taking any. Scrolling through he has pictures of the various bands, a video of you singing along with a song, you standing at the air hockey table looking away from the camera, and one with the outside of each bar.

Fun night exploring more of Austin.  Thanks for the company @Y/NPadalecki  

You skim the various comments as you're brushing your teeth.  There are more than a few that question if you two are dating now and if that’s why you broke up with Jensen.  Shaking your head, you continue to get yourself ready for work. 

The morning on set goes by quickly, as you are walking to the catering tent Keegan comes up beside.  

“Hey, can we take lunch in your trailer or mine?  We should talk.”

“Okay, yeah, sure.”

When you both have your food, he follows you over to your trailer. As he sits across from you at the table you speak first.

“Is something wrong?”

“Not really, maybe, I don’t know.  I’m not sure if you were on Instagram today, or…”

“I was.”

You notice the brief frown on his face before he hides it. “I saw some of the comments about the two of us dating, and I realized we never really talked about what we were, and what that was.” 

He looks up at you, but you stay silent to see where he is going.  Your mind is racing, you aren’t sure if you are ready to get back out in the dating pool yet.

“When I asked you to go with me I was asking as a friend, I didn’t mean to lead you on.  We’ve just gotten along so well on set, and I don’t know many people around.  I thought we could be friends, hangout and whatever.  I have a girlfriend, it dawned on me this morning I don’t think I ever told you about Ali.  I’m sorry.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t thinking along those lines either.  I’m not sure I’m ready to get back out there yet.  I could use another friend though, I don’t know too many more than you do here.”

“Friends?” he questions.

“Friends.  I’d like to hear more about Ali sometime. If she's in town sometime maybe we could all hang out.”

“I think she’d be okay with that.  I’ve told her about you.”

Going back to your food, it isn’t long before you are being called back to set. While you are packing up at the end of the day, there’s a knock on your trailer door. 

“It’s open!”

Your brother walks in a moment later. 

“Hi.”

“Hey Jare, what’s up?”

“So how was your night out?”

“It was fine.  I’ve never been to that part of downtown before.”

“So you and Keegan, huh?”

“Jared Tristen Padalekci, don’t you dare even start with me, don’t go there.  Whatever it was or is or isn’t, is no one’s business but our own.  I’m not involving you in my love life one way or the other anymore.”

You know there is nothing between the two of you, but you don’t want your older brother’s opinions or interference either way.  He stands there staring at you a moment, slightly taken back. 

“I just want to make sure you don’t get hurt again.”

“I do appreciate that, but if there was something to tell, I would do it in my own time.”

He stares at you for a moment, “alright, fine.  Leaving it alone.  Do you want to come over for dinner Sunday? We were going to tell Tom about the baby.”

“That’s a family moment, I don’t want to intrude.”

“You are family too.  Plus Jeff’s family is coming. ”

“Then sure, just let me know what time.”

The rest of the week went by quickly, you were on set everyday this week.  Thursday is a lighter day for you.  Gen and Jared have a few scenes, so you hang out with Tom in your trailer while they are busy.   He helps you pick out what dessert to make for Sunday. 

“I want that one!” he exclaims pointing to a cake. 

“The orange one?”

“Yeah! Can we have those on top too?” He points to a cupcake with orange chew candies on top.

“Alright, let’s see what that cake entails.  I’ll see if I can find the candies.”

The cake he chose is an orange dreamsicle with orange cream cheese frosting. 

“I think it’s doable buddy.”

“Can we have it tonight?”

“Um, no.  It’s going to be for Sunday.  But we can go see if they have any cookies at craft services.  How about that?”

“Okay,” he reluctantly agrees.

After returning to your trailer with a cookie or three, Tom settles down on the couch and eventually drifts off for his nap.  You go over your scenes for the next day until Gen comes to take him home. 

You’re grumbling to yourself as you walk through the crowded grocery store late Saturday morning. You should have come after work yesterday and it wouldn’t have been so bad.  You’re trying to grab a few groceries for your apartment and the ingredients for tomorrow’s cake. Somehow you spend almost an hour in the crowded store, before you are finally on your way back home.  Stopping at a nearby sub shop, you grab lunch to take with you. 

Once the groceries are put away, you pull up the directions for the cake and pull out the ingredients needed.  Thankfully the apartment actually came with two round baking pans.  When it’s in the oven you set out the frosting ingredients that need to rise to room temp and collapse over on the couch. 

When the cakes are out you whip up the crumb coating frosting so it’s ready to go when the two layers cool. The orange layer of filling is next.  As you are working you realize just how much you miss having a normal size kitchen, and your own pans and utensils. This little one really isn’t meant to spend much time in. 

You hit the apartment gym while waiting for the crumb coating to harden so you can finish the frosting.  Returning later, you clean up the kitchen after the cake is finished, hit the shower and spend the evening on the couch watching Hallmark.

Over at Jared’s house one excited Tom is waiting for his Unca Jensen to arrive.  Watching out the front window he excitedly yells when the familiar truck pulls up.

“He’s here, he’s here, he’s here!”  He waits for the truck to stop before running outside, Jared right behind him.

“Tom, how’s it going buddy?” Jensen asks, picking him up and carrying him toward the house.

Little man wastes no time filling him in on the week he’s had. Jensen greets Jared as he walks up to him, and the three retreat into the house.  Tom is showing off a new toy and telling him about a blanket fort he built with his dad one night. When it becomes obvious the young boy has some energy to burn, they change clothes and move down to the pool.

It’s later in the swim when Tom brings up his Aunt Y/N.  Jared notices the quick look of sadness that comes across his friend's face, and the way he has to look away.  The two of them haven’t talked a lot lately, and none of it’s been anything very deep.  Gen told him what was said when she picked up Tom, and he is wondering exactly what Jensen might be thinking about his sister.

When Tom tires of the water and they get out of the pool, he decides to bring it up.  Making sure his son is occupied with his toy in the yard he turns to Jensen.

“Gen told me about the conversation the two of you had last week.”

Jensen looks up at his friend, but doesn’t speak.

“I’ve heard Y/N’s side of things, and I know what happened here, but I haven’t really heard much of yours.”

Taking a deep breath Jensen looks over at his friend, “What do you want me to say?”

“The truth, what happened?  I really thought she meant something to you, or I would have put up a bigger fight when you first told me you wanted to ask her out years ago.”

He thinks over how he wants to explain everything.  “Honestly, I didn’t realize how bad things between us had become until after she left Toronto. I really never meant for things to go as bad as they did. I got so caught up with trying not to screw up and piss anyone off on set, and get along with them all, I…I just lost sight of the people who were most important to me.”

He brings back up the Dark Angel set, Jared understands that, Jensen has told him before just how bad things there had been.  He can understand his friend not wanting a repeat, especially working with a much larger cast.    

“It took a few weeks after she was gone for me to get over the hurt of her leaving and breaking up.  Then I started to notice I was waiting for her to call, I realized then she was right. I expected her to call, I stopped picking up the phone and reaching out to her, I stopped putting time and effort into the one thing I should have been terrified to lose.  But I was too stuck in my head to recognize what was going on. Suddenly, I didn’t have the one person I wanted to share everything I was working hard for with. I really had nothing at all then.”

They are both quiet for a minute before Jensen continues.

“I’ve talked to Gen and Mack, I’ve told them both she deserves better than me, and she does.  But I’ve come to realize, I want to be selfish. I want her back, I need her.  I’m just not sure if she’ll take me.”

Jared studies his friend’s face and can tell he really means that.  He knows how bad he screwed up, he does seem to be hurting too.  “She is still upset, I have no idea if she will or won’t give you another shot.  If you hurt her again, I won’t be able to hold back from punching you.”

“I have no intention of messing up again if she is willing to give this another chance. But I don’t know if I can do that to her right now.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I’m going to be working in New Mexico some over the next few months.  I’ll be back and forth between here and there, then there is press for The Boys and the movie coming up later on.”

“Are you trying to talk yourself out of this now?  Or just giving excuses for why you won’t try?”

“She deserves someone who’s around.”

“That’s up to her.  Both of you understand how this industry works.  You need to decide if you really want her back before you just start playing games and leading her on.  Until you do, maybe you both need some space.”

Jared leaves Jensen sitting out there with Tom, while he goes to see if Gen needs any help with dinner.  The four of them sit out on the patio for dinner and Tom asks when Jensen is going to come back over.

“I’m not sure buddy.  I leave tomorrow for work out of town again.  We’ll do something when I get back alright?”

“How long are you gone for?” Jared asks, as he walks back over.

“I’m in New Mexico until Saturday, I fly to Dallas for Levi’s birthday, then go back to New Mexico.  I think I’m here again the Friday before we leave for the Colorado Convention.”

“So you really will be coming back here some?” He questions, trying to get a feel for his friends' plans.

“Yes.  It’s just going to be a recurring role.  They’ve already started filming, they’re done with me in early November for the most part. I might be in an episode or two filming in the spring.”

“So this one won’t be months at a time, seems like it’s already different from what you were doing earlier this year.”

After dinner Tom runs off to play leaving the adults sitting at the table.  Jared starts clearing off the table when Gen goes to get up.

“I got it, you take a break.  You’ve been going long enough today.”

It takes him a minute, but what Jared is referring to finally clicks in Jensen’s head.  “That’s right, how are you doing?  How is baby number 2 treating you?”

“We’re both fine.  Not as active as Tom was yet.  I’m sure that will change.”

“Does Tom know, he hasn’t mentioned the baby.”

“No, we're telling him tomorrow.”

Jensen helps Jared clean up before heading back home to finish packing.  His head is full with thoughts of you, and what he should do.  He knows what he wants to do, but he isn’t sure he can face your rejection, even if he does deserve it.

Thank you for reading!

Chapter 14- Coming soon

Tags

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WIAFA Masterlist

@woodworthti666 @spnfamily-j2 @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @kaz11283 @deans-baby-momma @let-me-luv-you @senjoritanana @itzabbyxx @djs8891 @tmb510 @perpetualabsurdity @mellyie @fiftyshadesgrl @jessicalynnann @prettyinplaid94 @itsdesiree86 @mrsfox79 @backseat-of-deans-67chevy @jamerlynn @jessica-marsh09 @abaker74 @ladysparkles78 @monkey-d-hoshizora98

#when it all falls apart #jensen ackles #jensen x female!reader #jensen ackles x reader #supernatural #jensen ackles rpf

[ananke-xiii]

My ranking of SPN seasons (based only on their PLOT) pt. 1

Okay so I've finally watched all 15 seasons of Supernatural and, I must say, what a journey!

The show has releaved itself to be a pleasant surprise, I've learned a lot thanks to it. I must confess that I had strong prejudices against it and had been avoiding it all these years because I thought it was... well, tbh not worthy.

Of course, since now I am here writing about it, it's useless to say that I was wrong. It's not the perfect show, sometimes it's not even a good show, but for sure it's an enjoyable, interesting and exciting show.

The following ranking is based solely on the plot (and subplot) of each seasons and my personal opinion about it.

15. Season 14: Frankly, I don't know what to say about this season, LOL. There is no real plot. We are led to believe that the story will revolve around Dean being possessed by Michael, okay. Basically Michael!Dean from the AU goes to Earth 1 to create an army of monsters (?) but then says bye bye to Dean and leaves (??), but oh wait, no, he re-possesses him (???), and then the army disappears (???) and then he gets trapped in Dean's mind and then he posseses Rowena (???????????). In the mean time, Jack is sick, dies, gets rescued by Castiel who makes a crazy deal with The Empty, then kinda goes crazy and starts killing angels (?????) and then gets killed by God. He also accidentally kills Mary Winchester (???????) in the process. I dont' get it, okay? Maybe it's just me! At any rate, we discover that Michael can possess whoever he wants since he easily changes his vessel without consent multiple times. This fact alone contradicts the whole of season 5 (Dean is the chosen one, the one and only Michael's vessel, hello writers?). Finally, the whole Nick/Lucifer thing. I get it, Mark Pellegrino was GREAT as Lucifer, I loved him, I wanted to see more of him. But his subplot was nonsense and meh. So, yes, the plot was bad. Reeeeeal bad.

14. Season 15: One of the the fun things about Supernatural is, for me, the fact that it doesn't take itself too seriously. Throughout the whole series we have continuous meta incursions and I find that extremely interesting. However, I think that with the final season they went too far. The plot (kiling the manipulative and frankly insufferable God) is stimulating enough until the episode named "The Trap". After that, I felt like the writers didn't know how to fill the remaining episodes until the end and just wasted half of the show on basically nothing really noteworthy. Also, one could totally see that the main worry was not the plot but trying to tie all loose ends off. It was unsuccessful. I would have preferred a well-executed plot rather than a plot that aimed at"filling in" all the gaps of a 15-year-old TV show (read: it's almost impossible, also unnecessary). The final episode was just bad, like really really bad. The plot was resolved by episode 19, so the last episode really felt like something made to end the show forever, kill everyone off and never talk about them anymore. It didn't make any sense at all.

13. Season 7: I didn't hate season 7 per se, but the plot was not great. Like season 15, the season starts off strong with the main event but then it drags itself out until the end. There's no meat in between. The gist is to kill the Leviathans, the subplot is Sam's confronting Lucifer's mental abuse. The most interesting stuff (aka the introduction of the Word of God) happens around the last 3 episodes. This is one of those seasons that are needed to "connect" different points in the myth-arc, however it was not done brilliantly. I felt like Bobby's death was not necessary to the events, it was poorly done for emotional sake. The"Dick jokes" are funny at first, then they are tiresome. After a while I couldn't take the characters seriously, it was all one big dick joke after another, please stop. At the end, we find out that the whole subplot was utterly useless: Castiel shifts the Sam's mental problem from Sam's mind to his, goes crazy in exchange, ultimately to be cured once he's in Purgatory. I'm sorry, what? Also: the Leviathans (the close-to unkillable monsters the heroes have been fighting for the whole series) become just "regular monsters" and that's it. I'm sorry, WHAT?!

12. Season 3: This season contains arguably some of the best episodes of the whole show. The 2007-2008 Writers Guild of America Strike affected the way the plot was planned (I presume) but I think it was for good. As a result, the plot is clean, simple, easy: the heroes need to rescue Deam from the demonic deal he has made. I like when there's a sort of "deadline" in the plot, it keeps things interesing for me. That's it, that's the plot. There's no subplot either. So why this low in the ranking? WELL. The first half of the show made me very uncomfortable. The jokes sounded very, very problematic and I had a very hard time finishing the episodes. Now I know this has nothing to do with the plot, but hey. It made me feel uneasy and the ranking is mine so ranking n. 12 it is!

11. Season 6: I appreciated the writers' attempt with this season. Basically, both the plot and the two main subplots make zero to no sense until the end, when we discover "the truth". As a matter of fact, until episode 19 we don't really understand what's going on. The plot seems to be the hunting of the Alphas and, eventually, of the Mother of them all: Eve. One subplot seems to be a civil war in Heaven, although we are only told about it and never see anything. The other subplots is Sam being soulless + the fact that now he's been hunting with his resurrected grandfather who, in turn, was resurrected by Crowley and now works under him (LOL). For the plot and the first subplot to make sense the missing link is this: Castiel and Crowley have been pulling the strings all along without the heroes' knowing. For the subplot... well, for the subplot (Sam being soulless), too LOL. Cas and Crowley are having an "affair of sorts" and plan to open the door to Purgatory to take souls from there and use them as... energy? Yeaaah. I liked the "whoaa I didn't see it coming" factor. HOWEVER, for it to REALLY make sense one needs to acknowledge Cas and Crowley relationship. Like, seriously, the reason why everything starts to go wrong (and interesting) is because Dean feels "betrayed" by Cas. Which makes zero sense. But I digress. What I want to say is that the turning point of the plot is understated unless you get the "romantic" implications. It's left to the audience to get it but, honestly, I didn't get it at first so I didn't get why the characters were so angry at Cas and why Cas didn't tell Dean about his affair with Crowley. Then when you get it, you get it but anyway the plot is not the best the show has to offer.

#supernatural meta #supernatural #spn #spn meta #spn analysis #dean winchester #destiel #crowley #drowley #bobby singer #sam winchester #castiel #spnfandom #spn season 14 #spn season 6 #spn seaon 7 #spn season 15 #spn season 3

[notanettelmao]

The Tell pt. 1

Also on AO3

(A Teen Wolf Rewrite)

Fandoms: Teen Wolf, Supernatural Warnings: usual TW and SPN stuff Pairings: Stiles Stilinski x reader Words: 1,8k

<back // next>>

Tags: @venomsvl  @celestair  

If you wanna be tagged let me know!

Y/N was with Derek when he heard about the attack at the video store. He took off in the direction of the store, leaving her behind. She swore, looked around, and started running after him. 

When she finally got there, he and Scott were climbing the rusty ladder on the side of the building. Y/N rolled her eyes and climbed after them. Scott said hi to her while Derek stared at her as if he wasn't expecting her to follow him. He then turned to Scott.

"Starting to get it?" He asked, leaning over the edge to look down in a way that didn't make him visible to the people on the ground under them. Scott did the same.

"I get that he is killing people. I don't get why." Scott mumbled. Y/N walked a few steps toward the edge to take a look at the scene. 

"I mean, we don't go out in the middle of the night murdering everyone, do we?" Y/N turned to look at Scott. 

"Werewolves are predators. Not killers." She said. Derek agreed, not looking away from the people on the street.

"Then why is he a killer?" Scott asked looking at his friend and then at the older werewolf.

"That's what we are going to find out. Y/N, how does this look like from the perspective of a hunter?" Derek turned towards her. The youngest Winchester took a deep breath and stepped away from the edge of the roof.

"It must have been a rogue omega. He killed Laura to get the alpha power, which we already knew. We know that he wants to build a pack, and that's why he bit Scott. But something isn't right here. Why didn't he bite anyone else? I'll need to do some research on my own, maybe I will take Stiles with me because he can get us the police reports. I need to know if there were organs missing or if he is just killing for the fun of it." Y/N looked at her phone, texting Stiles to meet her a few blocks away from the video store.

"You do that. I'm gonna take Scott to the house for a bit. I'll see you later," Derek waved a hand her way and then ran off the roof, Scott following him. Y/N groaned when she realized she will have to climb the ladder down

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

The youngest Winchester got to the meeting point at the same time as Stiles parked his jeep on the side of the road. She quickly jumped into the passenger seat and told him to drive to his house. She needed his whiteboard for this.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Stiles asked as they got into his room. He sat on his bed and watched Y/N pace around the room picking different stuff up and then wiping his whiteboard so she had a clean space to work with. She ignored his question and wrote 'THE ALPHA' in capital letters in the middle of it, then drew lines around it and started writing everything they knew already.

"I need you to look in your dad's files to see if there were any bodies found dead with their heart missing in the towns around Beacon Hills." Y/N turned to look at Stiles who was reading the words on the board, looking really interested. 

"You think it could be the bad kind? The one you told me about?" He was suddenly up, looking worried. Y/N swallowed and nodded. 

"I have a bad feeling. And I need another wolf to talk to about it. Not Derek. And not Scott, Scott hasn't been a werewolf for long." She ran her fingers through her hair. 

"I guess we have one more Hale we can visit." He said quietly. Y/N nodded. 

"I'll go see him. I need you to go look through the folders. Look for the missing hearts and anything that could be a clue." She quickly dropped the parker on Stiles' table and turned to walk out, but stopped in between the door.

"I don't have a car." She turned back to look at Stiles. He let out a laugh and then motioned for her to follow him.

"Come on, I'll take you there."

⋆⋆⋆⋆⋆

Peter lived on the side of Beacon Hills where Lydia did. The rich part of town. He moved into his house right when he was let out of the hospital after his miraculous recovery. Y/N actually helped him and Derek to pick the place and get him used to being around people again. No one really recognized Peter in town, which saved them a lot of explaining about how the hell he was walking and talking after spending six years in a coma.

Y/N thanked Stiles for the ride and closed the car door. She watched him drive away and then let herself in through the gate. She walked up the stone steps towards the front door and knocked. She didn't have to wait long before Peter opened it, frowning. When he saw her he smirked.

"Ah, Winchester. What can I do for you?" He asked, moving to the side so she could walk in. 

"Hi, Peter. Nice to see you too. Are you doing better?" She lifted an eyebrow at him and took off her shoes. She put them on the shoe rack in the huge hallway. 

"Did you come over only to ask me how I was doing or do you actually need something?" He led her towards the kitchen. 

"Oh, I just wanted to talk." She sat on one of the chairs at the kitchen island and put her phone in front of her.

"Talk? About what? And where is my nephew? Does he still refuse to buy a normal living space and tortures himself by sleeping in the burned-down house?" He pulled out two cups and started the coffee maker. 

"Derek is currently at the old house with Scott. And yes, he still lives there. He is way too stubborn to listen to us. Even though it would be safer for him to move somewhere else now that Kate is in town. That woman is a whole new level of crazy. But that's not why I'm here. I need to talk to you about werewolves. And about how they go rogue." Peter turned to look at her. 

"Why don't you ask your uncle about it?" He asked and placed one of the full coffee cups in front of her. 

"My uncle was in an accident a few days back. I don't really want to bother him now, as I am sure he and my brothers have a lot of stuff to do because the Leviathans are getting all around the USA." 

"Yes, I remember you telling me about him being shot. What do you need to know?" Peter sat down on one of the chairs on the other side of the island.  

"How does a wolf go rogue?" Y/N asked. 

"Depend on the situation. You can be kicked out of the pack, and then if no other pack wants you in, you lose it. You start going more and more feral. That's how omegas are made, but omegas are usually born wolves that go feral. The bitten omegas are more..." Peter stopped talking, thinking about how to say it correctly.

"They're the worst kind, right? The ones that feed on the hearts of humans?" Y/N asked quietly. Peter nodded.

"Yes, they are the worst. I don't know how, but they actually became weak to silver. Us born wolves aren't." 

"I know. It is a myth connected to the Argents as they are the oldest line of hunters ever." Y/N agreed. She then pulled her father's journal from the bag she had brought with her. 

"Can you look over this to see if there are correct facts?" She pushed the journal towards Peter, who took it in his hands carefully.

"It was my father's and my brothers left it with me just in case I needed it. And I know you know a lot of stuff about the supernatural as you yourself are supernatural. Also, Derek told me you used to have a lot of different bestiaries and other books before..." Y/N didn't finish the sentence when she noticed the pained look on his face. 

"Why are you asking me all this? You think the alpha is a bitten wolf?" Peter asked. The girl nodded. 

"If it was a born wolf someone would know something. There are not that many of you anymore and my brothers keep tabs on all of the packs with born wolves. They would know if one of them went rogue." Y/N explained.

"Did you tell any of this to Derek?" 

"No, are you crazy? You know him. He would go right after the guy and get himself killed in the process." She took a sip of her coffee and watched Peter as he agreed.

"If you are right, and you probably are... We are going to need all the help we can get. Derek is not as strong by himself, your friend Scott still doesn't really know how to have control over his shift, and the sheriff's kid is a skinny human who talks too much. Even with the help of your angel friend, my wolf is not healed fully yet. You are probably the strongest of us right now with your hunter training." Y/N knew what Peter wanted her to do. 

"I can't call them here Peter. They have a lot of stuff going on, I told you the Leviathans are everywhere-" 

"Y/N, you are creating a pack around yourself. The alpha is going to see you as a threat." Peter said as if it was nothing. Y/N froze in her seat.

"I'm creating a pack around myself? How is that possible? I'm not an alpha, not even a werewolf." The youngest Winchester looked so confused Peter had to laugh.

"It is possible. You have to have the right amount of Spark to pull it off. You are a Winchester. You and your brothers stopped multiple apocalypses. The angels watched over you. You went against multiple gods and came out alive. There is no one else that could do all that."

"So what, I'm an alpha, but not really?" Y/N cringed as she said that. It sounded ridiculous.

"Something like that." Peter shrugged and got up from his chair with her journal in his hands.

"If you'll need me I'll be in the library." With that, he walked away.

"Okay, hold up. You can't just drop that and walk away! Peter!" Y/N yelled as she watched his back disappear up the stairs. 

"You son of a bitch." She let out a sigh and put her empty cup in the sink. Her phone buzzed at the same time. She quickly picked it up and looked at the new text. 'There are at least 4 cases where bodies were missing hearts' was all it said. 

"Shit." She let out as she grabbed all of her stuff and ran out of the door. 

#teen wolf x reader #stiles stilinski x reader #derek hale #stiles stilinski #scott mccall #y/n winchester #winchester!reader #superantural x reader #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #teen wolf rewrite #peter hale #kind of au? #might be different from spn canon #why are there no gifs of the rooftop scene

[seenthisepisode]

hi! I saw your post about the why episode title change why 11 scenes cut why lamp etc etc and I know some of it but not all, and I was hoping you could elaborate on spngate— if it’s not too much trouble— or point me in a direction where I can join you in the spn gate?

I feel ashamed for HOW LONG i let this ask just rot in my askbox (it's from january, apparently, now it's april. i thought maybe two weeks passed but NO. it was months. ANON I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART) but now with the power of this url and the wine i am currently sipping, let me give you the best, most thought-out answer that i possibly can.

I don't know how long you've been following/watching spn, so I won't get into real deep iceberg theories that go back to season 8 and jeremy carver, for the purpose of this essay answer I'll just stick to the year anno domini 2020, and will try to do my best to tell you what happened.

Okay, maybe 2019. So, in june 2019, when the first scripts and drafts for s15 are presented, these things happen: 1. apparently, according to Berens, the confession scene is the first thing that was written for season 15. 2. Jensen Ackles is sat down and asked if he would be okay with this. (question is asked: why would they ask jensen if all he does in this scene is look at cas, he doesn't say anything, he does not confess, it changes nothing about his character, etc.; if you put the real tjlc tinfoil hat on you'd ask hey , maybe they asked him if precisely that is okay, if he is okay with the fact dean is practically silenced here but that's Deep) 3. Jensen apparently is okay with that, because it happens.

also this thing happens around the same time: 1. they write the ending for the brothers, and no matter what version of the finale we're talking about, Dean dies 2. Jensen Ackles is Not Okay with this. he calls Kripke who then, in a call and/or email assures him it's a good ending (Jensen says that) and also very quickly after that Jensen is announced to play Soldier Boy in Kripke's The Boys. make of that what you want

They film, blah blah, march 2020, covid happens, they stop production right after they film the confession. Last episode to air is 15x13, last episode they film is 15x18, they almost have a plane crush when flying to vegas con, and then, a loooong break until august 2020. Now, from what we know, there were two versions of the finale - the pre-covid finale they were supposed to film if the filming schedule wasn't interrupted, and the finale that happened.

What was supposed to be in the Original Finale/Pre-Covid Finale, we still don't know exactly, but from what the cast said, there was supposed to be a big cast reunion, Harvelle's Roadhouse in Heaven, Kansas Band (why are they dead?) playing there after Dean gets there and so on.

Anyway. July 2020. Misha does a livestream with Michael Sheen (the SuperGood campaign) where he says he is going back to filming the last two episodes in a few weeks. he said it LIVE. it's on youtube. people analyze the background from Misha's livestreams and photos and conclude he is in Vacouver, where spn is filmed. He also says that he is going back filming in a few interviews. Also here.

August 2020. They go back to filming in august 2020 to film 15x19 and 15x20.

August 20th, 2020, Misha's birthday.

I wasn't on set TODAY. so casual. of all days i wasn't there today.

August 24th, 2020, day 6/8 of filming 15x19, Angel with a Shotgun is hash tag Song of The Day while filming scenes of 15x19 (scene 28, 31).

September 4th, 2020. ALL THEY FILM, for the whole DAY, is one scene. They usually film a few. They film one. Song of the day? The Night We Met.

Somewhere before the episodes starts to air again, Dabb says only 30% of the audience will like the finale. Anyway, everyone concludes, Misha is filming, destiel is more or less going canon, but everyone including bibros is sure Misha is filming and will be there for the finale.

Originally, "Despair" was called "The Truth".

Finale airs.

It feels shorter (apparently it's not) but it does have an additional ad break. For Walker. But it feels shorter because of the "carry on my wayward son" cover montage that lasts too long and later it's discovered thanks to scripts that dropped that there are ELEVEN scenes that were filmed,, but didn't make it to the episode. The script that drops is also very telling, where scenes are just [OMMITTED]. It was explained that they wanted to have actor there but they didn't want actors to quarantine for two weeks to film one or two scenes BUT then that's exactly what they did with Jim Beaver lmao.

So yeah. I also remember Misha at a con (DarkLight?) where, after asked about the original ending, he answers that the original ending was something that would be better explored in fanfiction anyway. Theory rises he filmed and was cut off the episode without his or Jensen's knowledge because Misha sat down his kids to watch the spn finale (which was the first episode they were supposed to watch ever, why would he do that if he's not there?) and then, CW SPN twitter posts a goodbye video that has everyone from the cast and their mother BUT MISHA AND JENSEN ARE NOT THERE. Jensens sexy silence starts.

THEN THE WILDEST THING HAPPENS.

November 25th, the Spanish Dub. 15x18 drops in Brazil and Dean says "and i you" to Cas, after he confesses. No "don't do this cas" but "and i you". Tumblr stops working for two hours, people on discords are screaming, no one knows whats happening, someone claims Jensen was called in September 2020 to record some adlibs? To record the muffled sobs Dean does while on the floor. Theory is supported by the fact that in the Bazil version? When Dean sits on the floor? The sound that plays are birds. Chirping birds. Sounds don't match, what was Dean saying while crying on the floor, question arises.

Everyone decides there was a Rogue Translator who managed to hide from The CW Sniper (who is the reason actors just dont tell us everything) and translated some kind of Original Script. Voice Actors are invited to a podcast where they debunk this saying that it was added because the translator felt this was the right response or something like that. Anyway they debunk the fact that there existed, at any time, a version of a script, that maybe was send to them, where Dean says I love you too. This was a wild night, no one slept.

And like. I could make this post longer, but I am planning to, one day, make a huge masterpost with real sources about that because honestly you could write a book about it.

But tl;dr spngate is a theory that misha did film for the last 2 episodes and the changes they made were truly last minute (september 2020), they were going for a canon destiel, possibly human!cas engame, dabb was always on our side, and it's based on stuff like jensen actively hating the ending to the point he made his prequel after 2 years of radio silence, 11 scenes just cut from the finale, misha saying he is going back filming, and people like mark pellegrino saying the last scene he filmed was with alex and misha. also the onion field. why lamp is the theory that cas is represented and symbolized by lamps throughout the show and when dean dances with a Lamp in a drug induced dream instead of, say, some kind of a lady he is actually thinking about cas.

also there are little things like when jensen at an online con before the finale says that oh yes i am wearing a grey flannel but tomorrow? who know it could be blue and green. and we all collectively lost our shit. like when he said he is most excited to "tackle" with cas in season 15. or that "dean has no taste, clearly". WHY WAS YOUR PERMISSION NEEDED JENSEN

there are a lot of things i didn't mention here because i simply can't unflod this whole thing just like that but

but if you understand this picture you might be entitled to financial compensation

#ask #anon #it took me 2 hours to write this #spngate

[thebestofoneshots]

have you always written for the marauders or did you stumble into it or got inspired or ??? i’m just so curious ☺️

story time with Lils.

I could give a simple answer to this, very short, and all, but I feel like telling the story of how I got into fanfiction so you’ll get a whole textbook instead.

It must have been like 2009 (catch me speaking like an old person), when I was laying in my grandma’s bed, fantasizing about a self insert into Harry Potter (actual Harry Potter mind you I didn’t know the Marauders, nor was my 9 year old self in love with a Sirius yet) and thinking “Gosh wish I could write that… but I can’t because copyright and it’s illegal.”

Fast forward do 2011-2012, THE FACEBOOK ERA, and your girl stumbles into a fanpage that *literally* was all about reader inserts with certain YouTubers I had an unhealthy obsession with at the time. It was then that Lilly discovered ✨the fantastic world of fanfiction✨. And it didn’t stop.

I love reading, but I had always been one to write stories, poems, songs, you name it, I probably wrote it. And so I started writing fanfics as well. First I think it must have been the YouTubers. I also remember reading a Percy Jackson fanfic once, and omg it’s been so long, I don’t even remember the webpage I read it at, but it was like it’s own little blog with its own little colors and stuff, cool shit tbh.

Must have been around 2012 that I started a fanfic of Jack Frost. Yes ladies and gentleman, Jack Frost, he was too cute for 12 y/o Lilly. That one, is absolute cringe if I go back and read it now, but also kinda funny? The reverse harem was so heavy in that one I swear I didn’t even know that was a thing but EVERYONE was inlove with the MC.

Either way, writing longer stories really wasn’t for me back then, so I started writing oneshots. And boy-oh-boy did I love them. I must say “Thank you Bucky Barnes for existing and having me obsess over you.” I must have over 30 one shots written for him. Or more, I have never counted. Some still sitting on my drafts lol.

Then I started writing for Loki and made a small follow along fic of the series, called Time Variant 30578, and I was so proud I finished it (-ish, season 2 just came up and I still have to write for that).

Not that it’s the only thing I’ve finished, I actually wrote a book, it’s a book about a serial-kiIIer, but even if we see his life, the actual unaliving parts are told from the perspective of the victims. Pretty gory, certainly something. But I liked it. That one’s done and sitting in my computer. I still want to find time to edit it and maybe publish it one day, but who knows? Off topic.

Anyway I rewatched SPN and wrote a few shots for one of the loves of my life Dean Winchester. And I have pondered on writing a series for a gender-bend spell type of thing. A short one (but actually short this time, not like GC).

And then, somewhere in between me starting a small business of HP stuff and watching Tick…Tick…Boom! (Which had me obsess over Andrew), and the already smoldering obsession with Ben, I started reading Marauders fics. Discovering the magical world of ✨Poly!Marauders✨

And then I wrote the first part of Gilded Constellations (march this year, probably) and then the second and then the first 12 parts and then I decided to post it and then people showed actual interest?!?! And I kept writing and writing and then I wanted GC to have smut. But I was shit at smut and wanted to practice so The Five Senses was born. After a LOT of research, I kid you not, so much reading fics and even YouTube tutorials lol (on writing guys, that kind of content is NOT allowed on YouTube!). Anyway, writing just solidified my obsession with my boys. And then there was Maraudween, more smut practice but also, I kind of like writing smut at this point? And scary action filled stories??? Right up my ally.

So yeah, in short; I’ve always been a writer, I have always liked Harry Potter and I have been writing fanfics for a while and just recently started writing for the Marauders, but you’re not gonna stop me any time soon.

I like living in my own head, and I love writing stories, and I adore our boys so, you’ll be seeing so much of me you’ll get sick of it lol

Did that answer your question? I feel like one of this teachers that students ask a question to and then tell the entire story of their life. But I feel like I did answer the question.

#story time with Lilly #ask lilly #lilly talks #writting #loki x reader #gilded constellations #loki layfeyson x reader #loki x y/n #loki x you #marauders x reader #moony #the marauders x y/n #marauders x you #sirius x reader #remus x y/n #remus lupin x reader #remus x you #remus x reader #remus x sirius #wolfstar x y/n #wolfstar x you #wolfstar x reader #james potter smut #james potter x y/n #james potter x you #james potter x reader #the marauders x you #poly marauders x reader #prongs smut #moony x y/n

[kalopsiadaemon]

So that latest deancas art sure is getting some love 😳 thanks everyone!! There's definitely going to be more where that came from! I'm deep in destiel hell again and they're not letting me go anytime soon.

Also to all you new followers, hi! hello! welcome!

Here's a peek at my old spn art from 2013 as a thanks for the love, and some context for where I'm at in the show for anyone curious~

I'm an old school spn fan who stopped watching at season 10, so Demon!Dean/MOC, when it was airing over a decade ago (yeah i know) but very recently got dragged into re-watching it again after finding out about the chaos that was the finale and the confession. I also know most of the major late season spoilers. Currently finished re-watching season 4 if you couldn't tell.

And if you're curious, yes I have old and terrible spn art from 2013/2014 (my old account got deleted) here's proof:

If anyone somehow recognises these I'm going to be amazed. Maybe I'll redraw some of these too who knows.

Also outside of spn, I also like videogames, anime, horror and villains!

Also shameless plug but my commissions are currently open so if anyone wanted to throw some deancas/spn requests my way I will not be complaining 👀

Anyway I hope you enjoy your stay!

#yes i crack shipped sabriel lol don't judge me #it was the big double pairing at the time #you had to have been there #destiel #deancas #spn #jo talks

[drkcnry67]

Killing midnight

Title: Killing Midnight

note: congratulations to @supraveng for hitting 500 follows!!! keep up the good work! also this is not exact to the point of what happened in the show it is completely of my own doing... sorry if that messes anyone up... :)

Pairing: Soulless!Sam x Reader

Any Fandom Dark Bingo: "you're the worst mistake I've ever made."

H&H: power kink

SPN Kink: Soulless!Sam

tags: mentions of death, sacrifice, blood, gore, shots fired, death etc

rating: 18+ just to be safe

mentioning @spnkinkbingo @heavenandhellbingo @anyfandomdarkbingo @supraveng @sweetness47

you had goten engaged right before your fiance got basically possessed and taken over by lucifer (the devil), in order to start the apocalpse and take over the world.

so in order to stop the apocalypse your fiance broke through lucifer's hold a bit at the last second on the battle field and told you he loved you one more time before his half brother Adam (possessed by Michael) dragged your fiance's body and soul into the pit...

that was a year ago... and let me tell you what a year it has been. you had gone to the bar almost every single night... you left no hunt unturned, you had basically cut all communications with everyone. you had gone off the grid to try and process your grief...

on this particular night you had just finished desimating a pack of ravenous werewolves and gone back to your vehicle when you foudn it trashed and all but destroyed...

yn: can this evening get any worse?

thats when your watch vibrated against your wrist, you took your phone out to see who was calling you... this time as you knelt near your ruined vehicle you decided to pick up the call...

yn: hello...

dean: hey kiddo, how fast can you get to chicago?

you look around at the mess and you breathe in deeply.

yn: i need a ride, im pinging you my location... a pack of idiot wolves destroyed my car...

dean: i got ya sweetheart see you soon!

the line disconnected at the sound of the Impala roaring down the highway... guess dean wasnt kidding when he said that he would see you soon...

you stripped off your bloody shirt and pants and began to rumage through the torn and destroyed clothing to try and find something... you managed to find a pair of short shorts, but no top...

so you decided to see if any of your trunks or bags survived. one of your trunks survived which was good... so you stuck your purse in there and your phone as well.

you then shut the trunk, and sat on it after moving it far enough from the wreckage where you threw a glass bottle of gin at the wreckage and then threw your match book.

the car blazed in a glorious fire... this was a sad but happy sight... for it meant a new car for you and a reunion of important circumstances. it was about an hour ish later when the familiar sound of a purring engine stopping pulled you out of your own thoughts.

the sound of the door opening and the sound of a familiar voice calling you.

dean: hey yn!!!

you got up and ran into the arms of your brother-in-law...

yn: im so sorry dean.. i should have been there for you... i wasnt the only one who lost him... you did too... im sorry...

dean could only hug you tighter...

dean: you have nothing to apologize for yn, its all good... now lets get you and this trunk to the car... we need to be in chicago by morning to meet with bobby...

yn: did he say why?

dean: nope but thats bobby... he'd rather say it in person then on the phone...

You and Dean lug your trunk to the car, and get inside...

Dean: it's gonna be okay... plus whatever this is may take your mind off of whatever is bothering you.

Yn: its nothing just yesterday was the 7 month-a-versary of Sam's sacrifice. So I'm still processing that...

Dean had to check himself he didn't remember about that... he didn't think about how hard this was for you.

Dean: omg yn I'm so sorry. I didn't even think about this...

You placed your hand on deans forearm.

Yn: its okay... we are gonna be late if we don't leave for Chicago now...

Dean: well then hang on tight yn we will get to Chicago before nights end...

You sat back and placed your feet on the seat using your brother in law as a pillow the impala roared across the pavement, within 5 hours of straight driving you guys arrived at a motel in the Chicago border.

You and Dean checked in and walked into the room. You and Dean placed your trunk on the floor and locked the door using the trunk to barricade the door...

Dean: we can now sleep peacefully for a few hours once we salt the windows and the trunk as well...

Yn: I already used your phone to send Bobby a ping of our location and the room number we are in... is every protection up?

Dean: now they are... get some rest Bobby will knock when he arrives.

You and Dean get in separate beds... but facing eachother it was the only comfortable way you could fall asleep. This was the first actual good sleep you had since Sam passed.

Around 9am rolls around and there is a loud knock at the door this prompts dean to get up with his handheld... he slowly goes to the window and peaks through a small crack in the curtain...

he gestures for you to sit up as he lowers his handheld and opens the door revealing bobby standing in the doorway...

bobby: boy seriously what the hell is wrong with you.. now bring that suitcase to the center of the room... let me in and please tell me you have some decent...

thats when bobby's eyes landed on your slightly dazed form on the bed.

Bobby: my god, yn is that you?

You get up off the bed slowly and walk a bit away from the bed...

Yn: hey uncle Bobby!

Bobby who was struck by tears of relief in that moment rushed you in a big bear hug...

Dean: can I go pee while yn tells you what she's been doing...

Bobby: just don't be all day ya idjit!

Dean left toward the bathroom after locking the hotel room door... Bobby sat with you on the bed as you told him your tale of woe...

You told him how you kinda went off the deep end big time, killing every single monster from here to LA and back along the coast... and about the drinking and how you had not given a care in the world about sleeping in a proper bed for almost 7 full months...

bobby: oh my god yn why didnt you call or something...

yn: i was too ashamed... i wasnt sure of the repricutions of my running away and not going to the rite of mourning... i miss him everyday bobby... i cant do anything about it... all i could do was drink my self until i blacked out after every hunt every day since Sam died. i slept in my car all the time... i never stopped at a hotel... i never ever exoected to be welcomed back into yours or deans arms as much as i already have...

bobby: dont worry bout that right now YN just relax and grab one of those beers your gonna need it... yo dean boy get your ass out of that bathroom and we will begin this meeting properly..

Dean had just come out of the bathroom when Bobby had screamed that...

Dean: I'm here, I'm here, so Bobby what's the emergency that was so huge that both me and YN had to rush out here.

Bobby: omens boy, dark ones, same kind that surrounded the apocalypse ordeal...

Yn: wait wait wait woah time out are you suggesting that...

Bobby: at this point we can't rule out any possibilities.... the problem is that we don't know how or when or why or who would/could have brought him back...

Yn: when did the omens start?

Bobby: a week after the tragic ordeal. But I also have been tracking another anomaly it's most unusual cause this one has been following the most explicit pattern. It's been all over the place and it should be here... cause I tracked it here this morning... it was in Colorado mountains with a burned car in the woods...

You and Dean watch as Bobby pulls up the report on the laptop... you turn away and go to the mirror...

Yn: that was my car uncle Bobby...

Bobby takes his emf detection device and holds it near you...

Bobby: good grief yn your lighting up like a Christmas tree...

You pull out the one keepsake that you always keep in the little container in the trunk... you throw it on the bed..

It opens to reveal a test you had taken after Sam sacrifices himself... Bobby and Dean both look at it then at you..

That's of course when Castiel appears intot he room...

Castiel: OK good we are all together yn what do you say we speed you up to date...

Yn: put me at 7 and a half months... I don't want to freak him out if he is back..

castiel waves his hand and your belly suddenly grows to a substantial pregnant belly. castiel breathes in and turns to address Bobby and Dean all of them allowing you to go to the washroom to freshen up and such.

Castiel: dont worry she will be fine...

dean: you helped her hide this secret why?

castiel: cause she had lost sam it was hard enough so she asked me to hide this, to slow it down to give her the year to mourn and to kill everything that got in her way.

dean: so you knew when you came to see me a few months back...

castiel: it wasnt my secret to tell... besides i knew if i had she would have known and the spell i had done would have collapsed... she would have been in danger.

dean now frustrated knocks a candle off the table.

dean: in danger, she was already in danger... this should never have happened... i should never have let her run off like that... but another thanks for being here is do you know if...

castiel nods and addresses the room..

castiel: yes he is back... but he is different... his aura is not the same sam who he was before he was possessed by Lucifer... this one is different... im here to help as a friend, now lets work on this shit and run through it like hell...

you come out of the washroom wearing a pair of leggings and a tank top...

yn: there is something else you all should know as well... Cas i dont know if you could feel it or not but somthing else happened the day that Sam died.

Cas, Dean, Bobby all sat down to listen intently to what else you had to say.

YN: its my physical body, yes im pregnant and yes its Sam's baby... but that night when i went to the hotel outside of Portland... but i had to vomit about a mile out of the hotel parking lot... so i pulled off shut down the car and got out... but instead of vomit i emmited a shockwave of sorts. ever since then ive been collecting various spell books from witches that i have killed... and every single spell ive tried and done have worked...

Castiel: well that explains why your body scan that i had to do when i lifted the protection off you looked different than it did when i first placed it on you...

dean: woah woah woah so wait your telling me that...

yn: that im a witch and it makes hunting so much easier... now lets go find Sam... any idea where to start...

Castiel: he is here in Chicago... and he isnt alone... there were others that came back from the pit with him...

The only person in that room making a lik of sense was you... it seemed in that moment that your mind was just talking for you..

Yn: but I mean we just he was... it's only been 7 months... like it's not been a full year so who...

Castiel: that's what I'm hoping we can find out...

Dean: well first we need to find him and see what kind of state he is in...

Bobby gasps and grabs his fed badge and you do the same so does dean when he gets dressed.

Bobby: I've just received a hit on the police radar... a male matching Sam's description and 2 other males were spotted running through the street fair with machetes in hand... a bunch of frightened fair folk... the police are quarantined off the area. We need to get down there before...

You pull your pistol out and load it up... strapping on your holster... and tucking it in...

You had your shoes and leather jacket on before anyone else did... you snatched the keys to the impala...

Yn: dean can you ride with Bobby.. since you boys aren't ready yet... Cas come with me... it will be easier to hide the pregnancy again while we go through the park...

Dean: you got it kiddo.

You and Cas get into the impala and you smile as she fires right up...

Bobby: I can't believe you are letting her drive the impala... your baby...

Dean: never argue with a pregnant woman... but she won't like it if we are late to the party...

Bobby nodded both of them pulling their butts in gear... you were wanting to get there in no time at all...

Speeding mildly you and Cas badges in hand were at the scene of the street fair where crowds of people panicking.

You tell Cas to clear the crowd while you go further into the fair grounds... your handheld cocked, and in your hand for you are not sure what kind of situation you would find...

Walking a few more moments, you are grabbed and thrown into a dark room... your handheld dropped on the ground in the commotion, your only thought was to fight off whatever or whoever had grabbed you.

You hear footsteps jump you from behind, this goes on for several moments till you are knocked out, loosing consciousness at the view of 4 dark figures who stare at you...

You are the one person who these asshats could never imagine would have been at the street fair.

Meanwhile, at the streetfair Cas finds your handheld in the now empty street, Cas then goes to the entrance finding Dean and Bobby who have just gotten out of the car.

Dean: where is YN?

Cas: she isn't here, I lost track of her in the crowd, her presence isn't here, not anymore, but Sam was definitely here, but other familial presences are also blending with Sam's...

Bobby: as in other Winchesters or something else?

Cas: not John's side, it's Mary's side of the family line...

Dean couldn't imagine what horrors await for them, all he knew was he had to find you. Dean threw his punches at the impala, his baby, his car, there was no way that you were gonna be able to survive whatever was happening.

Dean: we have yo find her, now today and figure out who these freaks are that have my sis in law and future mother of my niece or nephew.

Meanwhile now in a field leaning against a tree stump in the dark cold air... you hear a familiar voice...

Sam: let me do it please let me do it...

Samuel: are you sure you can... boy you did mention how she once meant alot to you..

Sam: don't worry she doesn't mean anything to me anymore.

Chris: good, cause she is radiating huge amounts of power. And I look forward to seeing her squirm...

Sam let out a low hiss, only to hear you groan, you start to move, but are bound to the stump...

You start trying silent spells, all of which bounce off hurting you...

Sam: well well well, the girl I never ever thought I'd see again... I wasn't even sure you would ever remember who I was...

Yn: your not my fiance... your not my Sam, so who are you, you crazy evil son of a bitch and why are you wearing my dead fiances face...

Sam: oh its me alright sweetheart... but the new and improved me... the version of me who finally realizes that you're the worst mistake ive ever made! But surely by now castiel, Bobby and Dean all have noticed your missing and are attempting to find you alive... but they won't... cause your one of which we have hunted our whole lives, your a witch and we never knew... so first I'm gonna strip you of your powers, then I'm gonna wait till Dean and them get here and then I'll kill you to prove my point...

It took a few moments for Dean to track your phone, him Bobby and Cas all speeding to you in the impala...

Your body almost completely drained of magic when the lights of the impala shon through the trees... voices shouting, guns were raised, but deans words were shocking most of all...

Dean: grandpa Samual Campbell...

Samuel: you must be Dean... my God you boys look so much like Mary with hints of your father in you too...

Yn: if your their grandfather then that makes you... oh God, aaaaahhhhh!

You scream once more as Sam, the fiance you once knew, the man you gave yourself too, the father of your baby, drains the final bit of your magic...

You hang your head, your breathing heavy, but something changes within you, sparks of your power shine through Sam's Soulless eyes...

Yn: just do it you Soulless beast, get it overnight cause I can't stand to see you wearing the face of the love of my life. Dean, Cas, Bobby ill bring his soul back I promise!

With that last word the Soulless man before you, rips out your heart and throws it to the ground... the clock chimes midnight and your pronounced dead...

~the end for now~

#supravenghit500 #spnkinkbingo #heaven and hell bingo #anyfandomdarkbingo

[heaven-s-black-box]

Field Trips & Chaos- Crossover chpt.2

Return to File - SPN File - DNA File - BSD File

Recovery date: December 19th, 2020

Description: The Winchesters are contacted by a very tired Japanese government official, trying to deal with a very troublesome case. Meanwhile, a coincidental schedule lands some high schoolers in the wrong place at the wrong time. Will everyone survive?

Notes: This entry has been translated for viewing facility, all bold writing is Japanese.

Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Word count: 603

Back to directory

“Okay, so we’re looking for…”

The Winchesters were standing outside the station in Yokohama, trying to figure out where to go. Tsujimura hadn’t told them where to meet, and she hadn’t responded to Sam’s emails since she sent the tickets. So they were looking for the nearest government building, and hoping for the best.

“Mr. Winchesters?” Someone called from behind them.

A young woman with strange hair, it was cyan, was standing before them. She smiled and bowed slightly.

“Yes, that’s us. Are you Ms. Tsujimura?”

She nodded. “Yes, it’s a pleasure to meet you. Please follow me.”

She led them out of the station to a car, and the three took a seat in the back. As soon as they were settled, the driver pulled away and she took out a file.

“A few weeks ago, we were made aware of what we believed to be an ability user. However-”

“I’m sorry, a what user?” Sam asked, looking through his folder.

Tsujimura stopped talking in surprise,and her brows furrowed.

“An ability user, someone with an unnatural power unique to them. Unless of course it’s passed on but that’s quite uncommon.”

“So like a witch?” Dean asked.

“I suppose.”

“I hate witches,” Dean grumbled.

“Have you never heard of ability users? I know there are some groups in the united states.”

“Really? We’ve never run into anyone,” Sam frowned, “Maybe they were posing as witches.”

Tsujimura said nothing, from what she’d heard, it wasn’t entirely impossible the Winchesters had simply never realized who they’d encountered. They didn’t seem to be the most observant people, the “Supernatural” books made that obvious.

“Now, about why you were called here. We believed Mr. Akira to be an ability user, however after further investigation that didn’t seem to be the case. After unsuccessful attempts to contact local hunters, we looked for the next best thing.”

“And that was us?”

“Yes.”

“Not that we aren't grateful for this opportunity, but aren’t the British Men of Letters practically next door?”

“Ah, yes. They…” she looked thoughtful for a second, “don’t like us much.”

“Join the club,” Dean laughed, and Tsujimura smiled.

“Sakaguchi-senpai will answer your questions when-”

“Tsujimura-san, we’re here.”

“Ah! Please.” She waved the boys to the door. “We’re here.”

She took the files from the boys, and thanked the driver as they stepped out. They were standing in front of a tall government building. Tsujimura joined them on the curb, and led them inside. 

It was exactly what you’d assume a government building to look like. Marble floors, lots of security, and dark walls. Tsujimura led them through security and into an elevator where she swiped a card and pushed the button for the second lowest floor.

The only sound was the whirling of the elevator as the boys watched the numbers descend.

Ding

“Senpai! The Winchesters are here.”

The room they’d entered was covered in monitors on the wall across from them, with multiple panels and desks covered throughout. The room was split in two by a platform which they were on, and in the center of the platform was a chair where a man sat hunched over a laptop.

“Thank you Tsujimura. Please go finish you report.”

“Yes!”

He stopped typing, and pushed up his glasses as he turned to the brothers. Meanwhile, Tsujimura descended to another desk and began to work.

“Sam and Dean Winchester, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” He approached them, with a hand outstretched. “My name is Ango Sakaguchi, and I am an assistant counselor for Japan’s special division for unusual powers. I look forward to working with you.”

#researcher s's recovery #supernatural #bungo stray dogs #ace of the diamond #daiya no ace #field trips and chaos #sam winchester #dean winchester #bsd ango #bsd tsujimura #crack

[mzkora]

Hi!! Just I just finished my first full rewatch of SPN season 1 and I have thoughts. Mostly just observations, little things I noticed. I’m not a media studies analyst nor an industry professional, so my ideas and opinions are just that. OPINIONS. We can discuss and debate them, but my fellow koolaid-drinking fan-girlies let’s be real with each other. We’re all freaks for loving/obsessing over this show so no hate, please.

In the name of transparency yes I am a Wincestie. Wincest was my first ever ship. EVER. And while that will inevitably color my interpretation of things, it’s not my primary lense or point of interest for this rewatch. I just wanted to rewatch the show again and see how I felt about it. However, since Wincest is a part of my enjoyment of/experience with the show, I will be mentioning it and discussing it so NO HATE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Anyway, a little context before we begin my probably long winded and unnecessary/unrequested commentary. I am an OG fangirl. I started watching the show when it first aired. Then after season 5, I dropped off and took a /long/ hiatus. I caught up after the fact watching DVDs of the later seasons that my brother had, so I stayed mostly up to date for a while before truly falling off the bandwagon sometime around Season 8 or 9. As the show wrapped up I popped back into watching it for old times sake and to see how it would all finish. So I got season 15 directly from the source, the backstory leading up to that I got from my brother giving me the highlights and then me dipping my toes in the streaming of those later seasons. An episode here or there, only the most notable/highest rated ones of their respective seasons and honestly that’s how I typically “rewatch” shows. Just the hits, no filler.

This rewatch, the one I’m documenting here and now at the end of this the year of our lord 2023, is my first ever true rewatch of the show. Episode per episode, no skipping and no fast forwarding. Here’s my observations:

The rainy, grainy aesthetic. Yes. Everyone who talks about the early seasons mentions it, but the wet, grayed out atmosphere and editing of the show really do lend a realness and grittiness to the show that adds something to the overall basic-ness of the storytelling.

The episodes move fast! This is partly due to the editing of course, but the show really did have a momentum, a keep-things-moving attitude in season 1 that took me by surprise at first. I had forgotten how streamlined and lean the show was then, following that Monster of the Week formula so tightly.

Adding to my previous point, I had forgotten after all these years how little explicit worldbuilding there really was then. Things weren’t explained. There were no origins for the monsters other than it’s there and needs to be stopped from killing people. No overarching intricate lore to bind it all together which left a lot of room for us fangirls in those days to wonder and question and come up with our own theories. There wasn’t much exposition stuffed in to explain how and why. It was left to our collective imaginations. (Until of course it wasn’t, but that’s just the nature of the beast as a show goes on and things like continuity and lore start to matter more.)

To that end I had also forgotten how ignorant the boys were in the beginning. These babies knew nothing! They were going off half cocked on little more than whatever they could decipher from their father’s scrapyard style of collage journalism and random, unsubstantiated Internet forums/posts. Rumors, legends, folk tales, and hearsay. Thats it. They didn’t even know that “the THING that killed Mom” was a demon until the latter half of the season! I had totally forgotten just how innocent and naive and gung-ho these kiddies were.

As a Tumblrina I of course see the same gif sets and edits as the rest of us Wincesties. And while some of those looks and line readings have been taken out of context or at least shifted from the actual context of the specific scenes themselves…yeah these brothers do be /like that/. It’s all subtextual so far and the “normalcy” of their relationship at this point can be debated, but the seeds of the unhinged, deranged, codependent behavior are definitely there. Some of those looks you see in the gifs really are just these two brothers eye-fucking/pining/being deeply fond of each other. So, yeah, I see it. The shipping of them didn’t start for me until seasons later during the initial run of the show, but I can see the seeds being planted. The subtextual hand sowing the fields…

Most of the episodes hold up pretty well in my opinion. At least in terms of rewatchability. Insert requisite mention of “Bugs” here. Which I contend is actually an alright episode as far as these things go at least until that third act. Yeeesh. It strains credulity, which is an embarrassing thing considering the genre.

In general, YES, there is a lot of early 2000s cringe (and lack of diversity/marginalized representation) but overall it’s manageable for me. I grew up in that era and I’m white, so it’s not as hard on me as it is for some. There were more than a few dated references but that’s to be expected in a show that ran so long, so long ago. (We’re aging y’all! I don’t like it, and nobody wants to talk about it, but we’re all aging and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. I started this show as a literal teenager and now I’m in my 30s and I’m still talking about it. Big Yikes. Major cringe. But 🤷🏻‍♀️ oh well. I’m in it for the long haul I guess. I escaped for a while, the show not the fandom, and now I’m back in the show again. Back on my bullshit. Is anyone surprised?)

Shoutout to so many wonderful women characters that all deserved better/more: Loretta Devine/Missouri in “Home”, you should’ve been recurring (and not killed off in later seasons but that’s besides the point); Cassie from “Route 666” you basically got erased from canon, never to be mentioned again despite being Dean’s canonical first love, and ultimately you were supplanted by Lisa as Dean’s romance stand-in (you were cooler than a one-off and definitely didn’t deserve to be completely forgotten by the show itself); the two surviving vampires from “Dead Man’s Blood” y’all should’ve been brought back sooner, but hey at least one of you got to kill Dean in the end, so WHOO-HOO🎉🎉🎉! For how little screen time y’all all got you kept it real and made the show better. We didn’t deserve you. (In this same vein hey Sarah from “Provenance” I see you girl. You also shouldn’t have been fridged later on for the ManPain™️ of it all. But hey at least the show was consistent in its bullshit, right?)

Moving on, *insert obligatory comment on the use of actors from other supernatural shows here*. I see you actress that played Christie on Charmed in that last season. I see you Amy Acker and Darla from Angel. I see you Aunt Zelda from the original Sabrina show. It was great seeing y’all pop up. Familiar faces and all that…I look forward to seeing the rest of your compatriots later on.

Going back to worldbuilding for a bit, can I just say how much I enjoy it when the Random Person Who Knew John trope comes up? It tickles me. Like the airplane guy in “Phantom Traveler”. Dude really did just hang on to John’s phone number for however long and dial him up again when things got weird. I missed that aspect of the show in later seasons. The randomness of the people and the tangential connection to the brothers really played into the “there’s a hidden supernatural world within/beside our own” trope. And it helped make the show feel more true to its working class roots. Showing up to help random strangers because they knew your daddy/met him once made it feel like there was a community support network and the brothers were fulfilling a role/a service as part of that network of poor/disenfranchised/working class people rather than being big heroes on a journey.

In other news “Hell House” was a truly forgettable episode. I had no recollection of it whatsoever until those Ghostfacer guys popped up and then I was like oh yeah, they’re a thing. I never cared about them tbh. Their episodes and antics always annoyed me during the show’s run. Still true today. “Hell House” was a struggle to get through and I very nearly skipped it/fast forwarded through it, but I bravely carried on. (Aren’t you proud of me?) Something about the lack of history for the quote unquote “monster” of the week really didn’t work for me. I like there being some amount of history in the mix no matter how distorted or fabricated or mishandled it may be. Legacies are never clean cut or simple. And having a random entity somehow exist because people online believe in it? A little too modern horror for my tastes. I’m not a Black Mirror girlie. I’m a Gothic horror girl. And honestly I’m not much of a horror girl, so I guess I’m actually here purely for the Gothic-ness of it all.

Also along the lines of something being completely erased from my memory: Bobby had a dog?! Poor little guy had a literal nanosecond of screen time so it makes sense that such a small detail escaped me, but still…you were a good junkyard dog (Rutherford? Was that his name? It was something like that . Anyways, RIP big guy. We hardly knew ye…)

And can I just say? Bobby what the hell were you wearing in your debut episode?! A t-shirt and vest?! Cover those arms, baby! You look like a teen going fishing down at the crick (aka the creek for those unfamiliar with country phrasing.) Plus, I chuckled a little at the characterization of you in that first appearance. You were just some dude. A hunter yes but seemingly retired(?) or at least not the supposed always prepared/always knowledgeable badass you later would be retconned to be. At one point when Meg burst into your house, Sam got in front of you, shielding you like you were a civilian/damsel in distress rather than treating you like a tough, gruff, father figure worthy of respect and unquestionably capable of taking care of yourself. You hadn’t achieved John status yet I guess.

Which brings me to John. It really do be like that post that was floating around said: you weren’t missing, dude. You were just playing keep-away with your boys for like over half the season. Miscommunication trope, much? More like ZERO communication trope. You really just ditched your kids and left them to worry about you without so much as a heads up, huh? You don’t deserve the amount of hate you get as a character from some fans and yes you did love your boys, but goddamn are you a negligent, uncommunicative parent. I totally understand Sam’s frustration with you. I’d be annoyed too. If you gotta dip, you gotta dip, but at least have the decency to let your kids know.

As a final aside, “Dead Man’s Blood” is a sexy episode. It definitely had that dirty, trashy vampire vibe thing going on and /unsurprisingly/ that works for me. I too would want revenge if some guys in flannel killed my Luther. He was hot and loved his girl. You gotta love it. And just yo be clear yes you could attack me and tie me up and make me watch my boyfriend die then watch you have sex with your vampire wife and seduce me into drinking your blood and becoming one of you any day. That slutty, murder-y biker gang, white trash vamp aesthetic really does things to me. OMG! I’m ashamed, but unapologetic. The truth is the truth. RIP vamp Daddy Luther! You were a hottie.

Anyway, I’ve rambled long enough. These were just my most salient thoughts after finishing the season a few hours ago. It wasn’t a binge watch because I have taken breaks between chunks of episodes, but I really didn’t have that much to add to the conversation that hasn’t already been said and discussed at length. I just wanted to get some thoughts down to mark the occasion. I very rarely do genuine, complete rewatches of my favorite shows. I usually just hopscotch around revisiting my faves, getting a taste of their respective seasons without taking in the full experience. I didn’t do that this time.

In general, I enjoyed myself. I can see why I watched the show as a teen (though I wouldn’t say I became a fangirl of it until later into that OG Kripke five season run). It had the supernatural elements that I loved and still do, alongside other shows I watched then (Buffy, Angel, Charmed) plus the eye candy of the two lead boys who were absolutely my type: big, and tall, and pretty, and total white trash. With those mop-headed bangs and dick-sucking lips. Pretty is pretty. And I’m a sucker for it, but at least I’m aware of my bias. It’s a little scary how forgiving I can be when I think a guy is hot.

Farewell fellow freaks! Until next time I guess.

Carry on.

#supernatural sunday #supernatural rewatch #supernatural season 1 #spn rewatch #spn season 1 #fangirl nonsense #long post #personal post

[legacysam]

"#*erases a rant about fandom cas characterization bc god who has the energy*" me. i have the energy. give me the rant.

*cracks knuckles* okay let’s see if any of these particular intellectual muscles still work.

I am always pro-cas-being-canonically-dickish posts (even if they are misleading one way or another, more on that later) because dear GOD this fandom loves to infantalize the man. He’s a “baby in a trenchcoat.” He’s dumb about pop culture and clueless about human things isn’t it adorable? SHUT UP!!!! And pls especially shut up if you’re using his ignorance as a way of making another character look cool or smart by comparison. “it’s a shortened version of my name” was 100% Cas fucking with Dean because he is a dick sometimes! and it’s great! Also: Cas’s indifference to pop culture isn’t a weakness just because pop culture knowledge is a major currency on tumblr!!! It’s indicative of the fact that he’s got much bigger and more important things on his mind. (Also. listen. This trait was canonically erased by Metatron and it was literally the only good thing that fucking character ever did so can we please as a fandom just acknowledge that little slice of canon? pls?)

(Can I also just say.....fish out of water stories are only good when they are on the side of the fish and not just using the fish to make jokes. Just. as a note on the trope in general but specifically re: every time this shows up in fanfic with Cas or any other similar character. Thor comes to mind.)

Anyway Cas isn’t a child, he’s ANCIENT and TIRED and CONFLICTED about major moral issues, which is FASCINATING for an angel character and forces us as an audience to consider more deeply the actual differences between heaven and hell, good and evil, destiny and free will. Is this how we expect an angel to behave? What does this tell us about Heaven? If Cas is an aberration, what does that tell us about Heaven and goodness and God? So his expressions of anger and frustration and his impatience with or indifference to human courtesies are a really great part of his character and people should appreciate them more (and not just when it’s funny!)

(Sidenote bc I always think about this when I think about fandom and Cas, the reductive fandom approach to “””crazy!cas””” (what a fun way of saying “deeply affected by horrible trauma and guilt and trying to repress it so he can function.” thanks for that fandom) as comic relief or a woobified victim is. hm. bad. That’s all I’ll say about that one.)

{ANOTHER sidenote, this one for fan artists in particular but fan writers definitely aren’t free from sin: Cas isn’t pale or short and he isn’t a fuckin twink pls stop projecting weird m/f stereotypes onto your queer ships pls and thank}

ANYWAY about these screenshots specifically: Listen I love this post but the context of these scenes is SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING than Cas being a dick to Sam. They aren’t really about Sam at all, actually. “Don’t ask stupid questions” is such a painful fucking response to Sam asking if he’s okay, because he’s clearly not okay--he’s still struggling with the knowledge that God has given up and abandoned them--but he can’t be vulnerable about it. So he redirects to ask what Sam needs from him because that’s what he does, it’s what he is, he’s a tool. He’s a solution to problems (except his own). And his unwillingness to confront his pain (while also not being able to hide it) isn’t really about his relationship with Sam, it’s about his relationship with God and with himself and his own failures. The visibility of that struggle while he continues to try to help in this episode is just really fucking moving, okay?

Also there’s absolutely nothing hostile about “Sam, of course, is an abomination” in context. Like. Not a damn thing. There’s a task that needs to be performed by a “servant of heaven,” and Cas is explaining why none of the three of them qualify, and we know he feels shame about the fact that HE doesn’t qualify by how he reacts later, calling himself a poor example of an angel. He’s as much an abomination as Sam is in this moment.

Actually you know what? Literally everything in these screenshots that gets interpreted as “Cas hates Sam” is 100% actually Cas hating himself. He hates Sam’s voice while he’s stuck using a human voice himself to communicate, through technology he’s hostile to because it’s limiting compared to angelic communication. He rejects Sam’s compassion because he doesn’t want to talk about his own weakness. He calls Sam an abomination in the same breath that he acknowledges that he isn’t a servant of heaven anymore, and with much less anger than when he later calls himself a poor example of an angel. He sees himself in Sam but he hates himself too much to use that as a point of connection and pushes away from it instead. (I’m not going to go on a shipper detour here but sastiel shippers....you know)

So Cas is angry and complicated and self-hating and yeah, it’s funny, but if you don’t respect those feelings and their complexity, maybe don’t try to write Cas or write about him. Maybe if you only like Cas when he’s making you laugh you don’t actually like Cas.

And this isn’t to be like...”writing fluffy shippy fic with Cas being sweet is bad” or whatever. That fills a need for some people, I get it. I’ve written fic where he’s sweet! There’s a difference between someone lovingly wrapping a character in a blanket and going “nice things will happen for you now” versus using that character for a reductive joke.

There’s also a difference between people who are actually carefully writing fic and people who are, yknow, tagging posts or circulating meme-like gifsets with this kind of commentary. Which, bc I don’t read fic as often anymore, tends to be the most common way anything like analysis of Cas reaches me. I do NOT recommend this method of engaging with fandom because it’s really the worst, unfunniest, most simplistic takes that get repeated over and over again (I would pay money to never see anyone call Sam “moose” or “sammy” again dear lord), and it obscures the actually really good work some folks are doing when they write these characters.

tl;dr 1. Cas is not a child and he is not stupid. 2. Cas doesn’t hate Sam but he DOES project onto him and it’s fascinating. 3. fandom wants to be transformative but bc of meme culture and the way tumblr works it can be painfully reductive and it’s exhausting

ps nb I haven’t watched a single episode since they killed Charlie off and I don’t know much about what happened after that lol. so don’t come at me “well actuallying” bc honestly I don’t care and bc canon has been a dumpster fire for years and all extended analysis of it including my own is really nonsense just by virtue of the source material being nonsense.

pps the showrunners are ABSOLUTELY complicit in this but I can’t. I just cannot get into that. I am too tired.

#i just spent an hour and a half thinking deeply about supernatural you bastard #jk ilu #apparently i still had feelings about this jfc #ALSO (i know shut up mel nobody asked) 99 problems would be one of the best episodes #if they didn't seem to write it specfically for dean to make 'wh*re' jokes #cabalakh #@ everyone who followed me after i stopped watching spn..... #i am so sorry #supernatural #fandom critical #castiel

[mostlybarnes]

It’s My Party, You’re Not Invited (Part Two)

Summary: The morning after Bucky threw a party, you confront him but it doesn’t go according to plan.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader

Warnings: more angst, arguing, Bucky is an asshole, language, not proof read, mistakes are my own!

Words: 1,567

Author’s Notes: Wow. I absolutely can not believe the support on part one! I’m so happy you guys liked it, and of course I’m always happy to give people what they want and since so many of you asked for part two, here it is! Really hope you won’t be disappointed, please let me know what you think. And don’t worry, there WILL be a part three. This isn’t the end!!

As you had predicted, you got no sleep. Your night consisted of you tossing and turning and occasionally groaning loudly into your pillow.

Your pillow was your closest friend, it captured your falling tears, and provided you with comfort when you couldn’t rest. The morning sun was pouring through your parted drapes, a new day was beginning and you knew you definitely wouldn’t be getting any sleep now.

Lazily, you threw the blankets off of you and sat on the edge of your bed, your palms on either side of you, digging into the mattress. Bucky not inviting you to his party shouldn’t have bothered you, but for some reason, it did. It was the reason you got no sleep, and you were annoyed by how Nat and your friends treated you last night. They were laughing and you couldn’t help but feel like they were laughing at you, even if they weren’t. Today would be the day you would confront Bucky, no matter what. But first, you needed a hot shower to try and wash away the tension that was rolling off your shoulders.

The shower itself would have taken a good ten minutes on a good day, but you spent almost an hour on the shower floor with your knees tucked under your chin and fresh tears disappearing under the shower head. Pathetic, you told yourself. Crying over something that wasn’t even your fault. How dare he treat you this way and make you feel broken. Speak of the devil, through the sounds of your cries and the water cascading down around you, your thoughts snapped back to reality when you heard his laugh from the hallway again.

Enough was enough with his games, you needed to know why you didn’t get an invite, it was just a simple little question.

Standing up off the shower floor with shaky legs, you turned off the shower and stepped out to grab the towel off the rail and pat yourself dry. In your haste to get dressed, your clothes were mismatched and your sweater was turned inside out. You didn’t care about that though, you needed to speak with Bucky. You needed answers.

You left your room and followed the sounds of the chatter coming from the common room. Your feet quickly carried you there, stopping in the doorway and noticing the room was completely trashed from last night’s shenanigans.

Broken glass was scattered over the marble floors, there were literally hundreds of solo cups all over the tables, there was even a broken window.

What the hell happened here? You wondered, stepping into the room, being careful not to tread on glass.

“Watch your feet!” Bucky warned, holding his hands up to halt your footsteps. “There’s glass everywhere.”

“No shit.” You scoffed, folding your arms across your chest and rolling your eyes. You heard him click his tongue as he worked on sweeping up the glass. “I heard you had a party?”

“Uh yeah, just some close friends and stuff.” He shrugged, and ouch if that didn’t fucking hurt.

“Really? I didn’t know you were– were close friends with people from…. statistics?” Anger was rushing through your veins, his nonchalant attitude wasn’t making this any easier and neither was the lack of sleep. You wondered what had happened to the sweet guy you knew. The shy Bucky who couldn’t even make himself a sandwich because he was afraid of being mocked by the other avengers. Or the Bucky that loved to sip herbal tea at 3 in the morning. Where did that Bucky go? Who is this Bucky? It was like a switch flipped and he changed overnight.

“What is this about, Y/N? You walk in here with some kind of an attitude problem and I’m tired, it’s early and I’m not in the mood.” He snapped and that was it for you. If he was tired, you were something else.

You stepped into the room regardless of the broken glass still all over the floor, not caring if any shards cut your feet as you stand toe to toe with Bucky. You shove him, but not surprised when he doesn’t budge.

“Where was my invite? What did I do to you to make you forget about me? It shouldn’t even be a big deal but–”

“Then stop making it a big deal! Is that what this is really about huh? It was my party and I invited the people I wanted to be there!”

“Wha– but you invited everyone but me!” You cried, your voice breaking at the end.

“Then maybe that tells you something.” He offers no sympathy to your state of distress. At least not to your face, it’s when you turn your back and he hears you cry harder does his own heart break. He didn’t mean for this to happen and the Black Widow’s footsteps behind him is about to remind him of his mistakes.

“You’ve really messed this up Barnes. I’m not sure Y/N will ever forgive you.” Bucky turns to look at Nat. Guilt and anger written all over his face.

“You don’t think I know that?! I did it to protect Y/N!”

“Well, what are you gonna do about it?”

“I don’t know.”

////

The day away from the compound was exactly what you needed. The air was refreshing and cold, biting against your skin. It helped to clear your thoughts that were running in circles since you talked to Bucky. You still didn’t have a clear answer as to why he chose not to invite you, and that bothered you more than anything, but what he did say replayed in your mind. You suppose he had a point, it was his party and up to him who he chose to invite but it confused you because you thought you were on good terms with Bucky. Did you get it wrong? Where did it all go wrong?

Your fingers wrapped around the mug as you sat in the corner of the quiet coffee shop with a friend as they watched you watch the world go by.

“Okay, what’s going on?” They asked, blowing into the hot liquid before taking a quick sip.

A deep sigh fell from between your lips. Your body and mind felt exhausted, it was hard to concentrate.

“I don’t even know. I feel like I’m overreacting.” You shrugged, licking your lips and looking into your coffee as if seeking the answers to your unanswered questions.

“Overreacting? Did something happen on the mission you just got back from?”

“No, no. Something that happened after that. You know Bucky, right?”

“Bucky Barnes?” They asked with a raised eyebrow. You nodded and swallowed the lump in your throat. “What about him?”

“I just– I– would you be honest with me and tell me if I’m overreacting?” You bit your lip nervously and your friend nodded.

“Of course! Tell me everything.”

True to their word, your friend sat and listened to every single word without interruptions or sassy remarks. They didn’t stop to ask you questions, and they didn’t make you feel pathetic like you felt. Talking about it out loud made you feel stupid, maybe it was stupid to get angry over something so small. That maybe deep down Bucky had a good reason not to invite you. Maybe you just weren’t close to him after all.

“I’m so stupid, aren’t I?” You shrugged, the wooden table becoming more of an interest.

“You’re not stupid. He’s stupid but I think he likes you.” Your head snapped up and so did your eyebrows.

“You’re insane! Didn’t you hear what I just said?”

“Of course I did!” They defended with a smirk, “and here’s what we’re gonna try.”

///

Your friend’s idea was so stupid and this dress was far too tight for your liking. You felt like your your body was spilling out at the seams, a complete opposite to what you were used to wearing: comfortable clothing or pajamas.

Walking in heels was another problem for you. Any second now, you were sure you were gonna have to call Dr Cho because you had somehow broken your neck. However, after a few laps around your room, you felt confident enough to walk a few blocks in them. Grabbing a purse and a jacket from your closet, you staggered out of your room and into Bucky’s chest.

“Whoa there, you alright?” He asked, pushing you away from him. He eyed you up and down, making you feel naked under his gaze.

“Why wouldn’t I be? And what are you doing here? Outside my door?” You folded your arms across your chest, big mistake as it pushed your cleavage together and with the height difference, Bucky had a pretty good view. He was a gentleman though and kept (or tried) to keep his eyes glued to your face.

“I came to apologize. Where are you going dressed like that?”

“It’s a bit late for an apology. I got your message loud and clear from this morning.” You scoffed. “And I’m going out with my real friends, not that it’s any of your damn business.”

“A party?” He wondered, his jaw clenching at the thought of you dancing with other people that weren’t him.

“Yes, and you’re not invited.” You smirked, turning on your heels and walking towards the waiting elevator, ignoring his calls of your name.

Bucky watched as the metal doors closed, his hands tugged his hair so hard he was afraid he would rip it out. He’s fucked up, Natasha was right. There was no way of fixing this.

“Fuck!” He yelled, kicking a hole in the wall next to your door.

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#bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes one shot #bucky oneshot #one shot #oneshot #oneshots #bucky barnes imagine #Bucky Barnes #imagines #imagine #bucky imagine #bucky fanfic #Bucky Barnes fanfic #bucky drabble #part two of ? #bucky fic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x female reader #bucky x female reader

[naruhearts]

I’m done keeping my composure.

Sorry, this will be a LOADED post! (And I’ll be repeating the points others have made)

for real, to everyone being nasty and telling heartbroken fans that “Dean was always supposed to die get a grip you’re just butthurt etcetera etcetera—” F you royally.

How dare you police the brutal feelings that’s been embroiling us since the Finale That Must Not Be Named aired. 

The show you think you all watched, the show you all believe was the same SPN from Season 1-4, changed at some point. Kripke wrote his original vision, put it to screen, saw it through in S5 as he intended, and closed the door on that era.

In 2008, Supernatural was adopted and inherited. As you know, there was a supreme paradigm shift post-Kripke era. The show FLOURISHED (we won’t talk about Gamble thanks). It evolved, transformed, grew beyond trauma-induced self-worthlessness and toxic masculinity and endless death and hegemonic social ideals and conservatism and repressive anti-revolutionary ideas. Castiel, the iconic favourite and beloved staple of the series portrayed by Misha Collins, was introduced in Season 4 as the core lead character, and he ushered in a brand new era of Christian mythos that SPN took advantage of. Longevity SKYROCKETED. Audiences were INTERESTED. SPN amassed an incredibly groundbreaking fanbase infused by non-nuclear principles. A massive subversive wave began, fighting the Status Quo of the times since 2008. It’s precisely why such an abysmal ending to a show of extensive Freud-Jungian metanarratively meta META complex stature and social POWER will render us totally and unbearably broken for years to come.

Point is, DEAN WINCHESTER NO LONGER WANTED TO DIE. HE WANTED TO LIVE. HE WANTED TO SIT ON THE BEACH, PLUNGE HIS TOES IN THE SAND, AND SIP UMBRELLA DRINKS WITH HIS BROTHER AND HIS BEST FRIEND. He said this in Season 13. And then, a season later, he told the ghost of his long-deceased father — the source of his deep-running trauma and the figure of self-reductive authoritarianism permeating his arc since Season 1 — after being questioned why he didn’t pursue the Nuclear Fam, that he already has his own: his brother Sam, his adopted child Jack, and Cas.

Dean’s best friend Cas. Oh god, Cas, who made his inevitably permanent mark on Dean’s soul beyond allyship. Castiel, renamed to Cas, God’s -iel removed by Dean. Dean, the human spark that lit the fire of pre-existing autonomy in the inherently rebellious angel who was, this entire time, the catalyst for free will in God The Writer’s puppet show. Their friendship set on goddamn fire. I can also write paragraph upon paragraph about my love for Cas while devastated tears stream down my face, but I digress—

Cas’ romantic love for Dean pushed our main Heart of SPN to love himself. Love is free will. Free will is also love. Of note, Cas’ love confession in 15x18 was supposed to offset something so vastly important and fundamental...to maybe (read: most likely) pull the trigger on SELF-TRUTHS in conjunction with free will. And The Great Anticipated Follow-Up to the episode penned by the passionate Berens should have included (read: seemed like it was going to be) Dean, closeted trauma survivor in love with his best friend, being given the opportunity to do it right: to SPEAK HIS TRUTH, and then that very singular opportunity was STOLEN so grossly. After poring over it for days, I refuse to believe we made their years-long story up out of thin air, spun it out of fantastical-delusional dream cotton candy, because we DIDN’T. IT WAS REAL.

As I said in another post: “I’ve just been feeling physically ill for the past >40 something hours with the terrible knowledge that 19/20 undid years of vital progression towards healthy interdependence, autonomy, and a positive endgame, where Sam, Dean and Cas close the ring of found family in final empowering self-fulfillment...where Dean, no longer repressed and set free, is able to use his words and speak his truth as a queercoded trauma survivor, henceforth confirming and self-affirming his own bisexuality since S1 by reciprocating — by telling Cas that he always loved him, too, loved him endlessly, which would have altogether divested Supernatural of its cult status and catapulted it into global worldwide significance as the longest running sci-fi genre show in American broadcasting history that actually dared to defy and, by proxy, empower LGBTQ2IA+ everywhere who found profound personal meaning in Destiel through VALIDATION,” — found themselves mirrored in Dean and Cas’ respective character journeys individually and as each other’s queer love interests.

THIS IS WHY DEAN WASN’T MEANT TO DIE.

THEY WERE SO ESSENTIAL, NOT JUST TO THE OVERARCHING STORY AND HEALTHY INTERPERSONAL THEMATICS OF MODERN SPN, BUT ALSO TO THE SOULS OF THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE WORLD WHO FOLLOWED THEIR JOURNEYS, HOPED FOR THEM, ASPIRED TO BE LIKE THEM, TREASURED THEM, WEEPED FOR THEM, AND FOUGHT FOR THEM, LIKE YOU AND ME.

Heck, how could anyone think Sam Winchester had a well-deserved characteristic ending? He didn’t. Dean’s brother was shafted so badly. He stopped hunting when seasons ago, he had canonically accepted that he no longer wanted an apple pie life. He simply...turned the lights off in a resoundingly empty bunker and left — abandoning his dead brother’s room — never to return (he did return later to get the Impala, family photos etc, I mean this symbolically)...as if — dare I say it — Supernatural itself eerily told us, in the negative-spaced pitch blackness, that the organic show and the wonderfully complex, matured characters we’ve grown to love weren’t going to survive or be revisited...that it was all going to perish, and that they no longer gave a single shit about their own show, which, to me, is the worst cardinal sin, because how dare they throw Team Free Will, an immovable and indomitable and passionate found family they built from the ground up, a found family CHOCK FULL TO THE BRIM OF LOVE AND LIFE RAGING AGAINST THE AUTHORITARIAN MACHINE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE FREE WILL, under the bus no matter who is to blame. Growth was stomped on.

Then Sam married a faceless wife who wasn’t his textually established (and deaf) love interest Eileen, named his son Dean Jr., and grew old miserably, still mourning the passing of his older brother, shaken and sombre. Back to square one. IT WAS ALL ANTITHETICAL, even OUTSIDE a shipping context, and I ripped my hair out at this point in sheer disbelief.

This 15x20 ending would have fit somewhere between S4-7. Now? IT DOESN’T FIT. IT’S A JAGGED PUZZLE PIECE THAT DOESN’T BELONG ANYWHERE. IT’S THE FOREBODING UNKNOWN STRANGER IN ITS OWN LAND, BOTH LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. This kind of ending was basically an illogical, unsound cluster of metastasized cells that, to me, ruined the viability of previous seasons to sustain bold praise and respect and dignity and rewatches and classic nostalgia in such insidious ways.

Dean Humanity Winchester and Cas, after everything they’ve been through, were silenced and lost in death, ripped apart from each other, unable to love each other the way they deserved, because of disappointing, vile incompetency and homophobia. The greatest love story ever told, again obliterated in less than 60 hollow minutes.

You know what this tells your audience, CW SPN? Death without self-growth is the way to go, and no one is allowed to forge their own path to freedom.

HOW INSULTINGLY HARMFUL IS THAT?

I don’t think I’ll ever stop grieving.

We all deserve answers.

#fuck #my stuff #spn s15 #15x20 #sorry this was so long winded but i’m so #I think I finally wrote out all my frustration in this??? #i’m still broken but I do hope it gets better #ily all #my meta #fuck cw #fuck spn #deancas #destiel #excuse me for any sloppy grammar and weirdness and shit #I’m still emotionally wilding lol #the greatest love story ever told #narrative #character development #narrative cyclism #supernatural #destiel deserved better #jensen and misha deserved better #at the same time this all seems cathartic anyway :P #I sorta snapped because wtf WE AREN’T WATCHING THE SAME SHOW IF YOU BELIEVE DEATH IS THE ANSWER 😭 #I respect your opinion only if you’re respectful towards ours #but I’ve literally seen so many nasties out there #I’d rather have queue #long post for ts #I’M TEARING UP AGAIN #I’m ill

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

#if you told me i'd be doing this in 2020 three weeks ago i'd have laughed in your face :/ #deancas #supernatural #fic recs #spn femslash #destiel #fic #the alie tag #spn posting

[msmarvelouswinchester]

Call You Mine

Summary - When Y/N meets Jensen on the set of Supernatural, her life takes an unexpected turn. Never in her wildest dreams, Y/N thought that their casual friendship will change into something sinful after they shoot a risqué scene together one night.

Pairing - Jensen x Y/N, Jensen x OFC!Millie

Warnings - Angst, infidelity, mentions of guilt and despair, explicit mention of extramarital affairs, SMUT 18+ minors DNI (p in v, fingering, dirty talk), slight mention of Dom!Jensen (it's very slight), fluff, a happy ending.

WC - 3052

Square Filled - Free Space ( @supernatural-jackles' Tell Me A Story Bingo); Song Based Fic ( @spnmixedbingo )

A/N 1 - This is a submission for @tvdspngirl314's challenge. My prompt was "I met a girl, we talked, it was epic."

Also this is a submission for @negans-lucille-tblr's "7Ks of the Week Challenge" (Congratulations on your 7k)

@deangirl93's 500 followers challenge (congrats on your 500). My prompt was the song "I Can't Quit You Baby". All prompts are in bold.

A/N 2 - This is a work of pure fiction and irl I absolutely do not support the act of cheating in a relationship. No hate towards the Ackles fam. I love Danneel and for the sake of the fic, Jensen is married to an OFC and not Dee.

Beta'd by @miss-nerd95 (Thanks, hon <33)

Dividers by @firefly-graphics

I can't quit you baby

So I'm gonna put you down for awhile

I said I can't quit you baby

I guess I gotta put you down for awhile

“Jensen...” The name rolled off her tongue effortlessly as the man’s fingers danced across her bare skin, his electrifying touch leaving Y/N breathless, panting and begging for more. The very touch of his that had started it all.

Everyone always expressed how being in love was the most exhilarating feeling in the world, but no one ever spoke about the perils of being in love with a person who already belonged to someone else. The ring on Jensen's finger served as a wistful and painful reminder of that.

As soon as the doors had closed, the actor had backed up Y/N against the elevator, letting her see the need in his eyes. His hands had sneaked behind her, his fingers entangling with the strands of her hair, completely messing the hairstyle she had pulled off for the m&g panel in the evening. Her hands landed on his biceps, trying to steady herself. Their lips moulded together so perfectly as if they were made for each other, but it pained Y/N to think that she was nothing but his dirty mistress.

Their relationship, if she could even call it one, was all about clandestine meets, stolen stares and subtle touches. Jensen was like a drug for her and she was high on the thrill of being with him even if he was gone in the morning, leaving her behind with nothing but guilt.

Jensen had closed the door of the suite behind him as they stepped into Y/N’s room together. With lips swollen from their heavy makeout in the elevator, he wasted no time as she found herself pinned to the wall by the actor's strong hands. In the fairly lit room, she noticed his wedding band was now missing. Y/N knew Jensen and his wife's relationship was on the rocks even before she had started to work on the SPN set. Which was also the reason why few months ago, the hide-and-seek between them and the hungry paps with cameras had started.

Hands on her hips, Jensen had pulled her close on the set, more than the director demanded it. That night, he had found himself standing inside her trailer, after the fated shot. The heart wants what it wants and just as the saying went, they had given in to their burning desires. In a moment of weakness, Jensen had broken off every single one of his vows and destroyed any hope of salvaging his relationship with his estranged wife.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” Jensen ripped her blouse off, unhooking her bra quickly, barely containing his eagerness before stepping out of his own jacket. Y/N clutched at the ends of the counter, knocking off the magazines lying on top of it and draping her other arm around Jensen's firm body. He delicately cupped her face as his mouth devoured hers. She could taste the mint and coffee on his lips feeling his teeth graze roughly against her, making her moan into him. The actor pushed her legs apart with his knees and stood close between her thighs as his tongue explored every inch of her mouth.

In desperate need of air, they momentarily separated before Jensen dipped his head down again, leaving a trail of sloppy kisses down her neck. Y/N’s legs buckled under his hypnotic touch when his mouth found her pulse point and she supported herself against his body. Jensen's hands moved down to her breasts, kneading them. His fingers caressed her hard nipples before his mouth latched onto one sensitive bud.

“Jay, please-” Y/N could only form two words as Jensen flicked her nipple while his fingers worked on the other one, spurring her on. Words weren't quite necessary, cause the man knew exactly what she needed. He knew her every tic, her every emotion like the back of his hand and Y/N was aware of that fact as well. No one could ever worship her body like he did.

Jensen was still wearing the black polo shirt, his noticeable bulge painfully straining in his jeans. She felt her wetness dampening the fabric of her panties as she thrusted her hips forward in need of some friction, her heated core brushing against his bulge.

Pulling apart for a second, Jensen’s viridian eyes studied her as his hands sneaked under her skirt. He watched her intently as she sucked on her bottom lip, closing her eyes when his fingers grazed past her soakedpanties.

A moan escaped her wet lips when Jensen's fingers hooked themselves with the waistband and in one swift pull, got rid of the panties. It quickly glided down her legs, pooling at her feet. He teased her by flicking at her bundle of nerves, making her lean her head back against the wall.

Y/N swayed on her feet a little, her hold on his shoulders tightening as she finally felt her legs give away when his fingers rubbed circles on her clit.

“Fuck-” she panted as he pushed a single finger inside her.

“Have you been thinkin’ about me all day?” Jensen leaned towards her ears, his scruff grazing across her neck. Y/N nodded, not trusting her voice, eyes still squeezed shut in sheer ecstasy.

“Sweetheart, use your words.” He ordered as his finger curled inside her.

“Yeah-fuck, yes.” Jensen kissed below her ear, smirking against her skin when she obediently answered him.

“I have been thinkin’ about you too, counting down the hours till I could get you alone.” He whispered against her neck. She mewled at the feeling of him adding another finger, his thick digits stretching her out as they curled inside her. “That little dress wasn't helping either.”

“Uh-huh,” she could feel the coil inside her tightening as his finger worked their way inside her, his thumb rubbing at her folds and clit, edging her on.

“I have thinkin’ all day about you clenching around my fingers and then my cock-” his words had an immediate effect as she clenched around his fingers as he kept pumping into her, “you've thinkin’ about that too, huh?” Y/N nodded again.

“What did I say? Words.” His other hand travelled down her body, stopping at her stomach and he pinched at her waist. “Words, baby.”

“I-I have been thinki-” Y/N panted when she realised she was close to her climax. Jensen picked up his pace and pumped his fingers faster into her, brushing past her g-spot over and over again.

When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,

You know it hurts me deep down inside

When you hear me moaning and groaning, baby,

You know it hurts me deep down inside

Oh, when you hear me, honey, baby,

You know you're my one desire

“Lemme say it, sweetheart. I know you've been thinking how I would make you come on my fingers, how my dick is gonna fill you up, make you come all over me. Don't lie.” Jensen's every assumption was right to the dot. She had been thinking of everything to the last detail since the moment she watched him get out of his car, right outside of the convention building. But there was another thought on her mind, the image of him pushing her against one of the counters of his empty brewery a few weeks ago with him buried deep inside her.

That was the last she had seen Jensen before the convention as he had gone back home to his wife.

His wife.

The one woman he had promised to be with in sickness and health, till death do them apart. Guilt clouded Y/N’s mind but all rational thoughts flew out of the window when he lowered his head, kissing the neck and the coil inside her finally snapped.

With a cry of his name, she came undone on his fingers, her legs finally giving away but Jensen's hold prevented her from toppling over. He pulled his fingers out as she whimpered at the feeling. His digits still covered in her juices, Jensen pulled his shirt over his head, throwing it somewhere in the room. Y/N panted, trying to come down from the high but she wanted more. She needed to feel him.

“Y/N-” Jensen rasped, looking right at her with lust blown eyes. Y/N smacked her lips at the sight of his freckled, toned body.

“Like what you see, sweetheart?” He smirked as Y/N eagerly reached out for his belt buckle.

“Uh-huh.” She agreed. Jensen bit back a moan when she reached out to palm his bulge. He threw his head back at the feeling of her hand on his erection through his jeans.

“It has been weeks-” Jensen said, clearly hinting at their last time together at the brewery. He quickly unbuckled his belt, pushing down his jeans along with his boxers, his erection springing free from its confines.

“Baby, it has been weeks since I felt your tight pussy wrapped around me. Fuck.” Y/N looked at him with hooded eyes and wrapped her fingers around his length, running her palm along its shaft and her thumb rubbed the tip of his cock, already lined with beads of precum. Jensen hiked her skirt up, pushing her hands away and gave his hard cock a few slow strokes. He nudged her sensitive core with his swollen tip, all while pulling out sweet, sinful noises out of her.

“Jay,” he loved hearing her needy moans, her voice raspy when she called out his name. His hands grabbed her ass and picked her up. Hooking her legs and arms behind him, with her back still firmly pushed up against the wall, Jensen lined himself with at her entrance.

Grunting, he pushed himself into her and wrapped his arms around her body. Y/N’s mouth fell open with an inaudible moan at the feeling of his cock stretching her out. Jensen placed a chaste kiss on her lips as he let her adjust to his size before slowly pulling out of her, leaving only the tip of his engorged cock inside, and pushed back in again, much deeper than before.

Her legs tightened around his waist, pulling him close as she bucked up her hips to match his rhythm. “Fuck, baby, you feel so good.” Jensen grunted as he started to thrust faster.

Y/N whimpered, her eyes fluttering close as Jensen snapped his hips forward before slowly drawing them back. With every thrust, she inched closer to her release as their breathing became ragged. The actor’s skin was flushed, his cheeks turning a bright red with beads of sweat lining his forehead as he felt her clench around her. Her nails dug into his back as the coil inside her tightened.

“‘M so close,” she whispered, as he continued to mercilessly pound into her.

“Cum around my cock, baby. I wanna feel you all over me-” Jensen growled into her ears, tugging on her earlobes with his teeth and his breath tickled her neck, making her quiver. Jensen had an effect on her that no one ever had. Sometimes, she would say to herself that Millie was a really lucky woman who got to have Jensen all the time and not just on convention weekends and sneaky nights spent in his empty brewery or a trailer park.

And Y/N was the one who was ruining their relationship. A home-wrecker. The tabloids would rightfully call her that if they ever found out about their twisted relationship.

“Jensen, fuck-” a cry of pure ecstasy left her lips as the coil inside her snapped once more and she felt herself coming undone for the second time that night. Jensen's thrust had become sloppy. He rocked his hips forward, thrusting a few more times. Burying his face in the crook of her neck a muffled scream of her name escaped his lips as he spilled into her, his white, hot seed coating her walls.

He lazily circled his hips a few times, his cock becoming soft inside her before he pulled out of her. His cum trickled down her leg, when he set her down, Y/N felt herself go weak in her knees when she tried to stand.

“Hi,” Jensen smiled, their eyes meeting, before he leaned forward.

“Hi.” Y/N whispered back. They stood together, holding each other closely with their foreheads touching. Guilt seeped into her and so did despair but she didn't regret any moment they spent together.

“Let me clean up the mess,” Jensen said.

“I'm gonna hop into the shower.” She said, holding out the hope that he would join her but he didn't.

“Alright.” It was all he said. Dejected, she pulled away from him and made her way towards the shower. All she wanted was to spend every single minute with him before he went back to his room to keep up the facade of his happily married life.

In the shower, Y/N thought about the day she had first met Jensen when she was a newbie on the set and reflected back on their rollercoaster of a relationship. There was an instant connection between them. Jensen was always such a gentleman. He truly cared for her, but love... she didn't know if even the idea of love existed between them or if she was just an affair.

She stepped out of the bathroom and saw that Jensen was now In his boxers. He gave her a nod and moved past her into the bathroom. A sad smile formed on her lips as she watched him walk away. She put on a comfortable pair of pjs and crawled into the bed, under the covers, waiting for the exact moment when Jensen stepped out of the bathroom and put on his clothes. And just like every other time, she would watch him leave after he kissed her forehead and told her he doesn't have a choice.

This time though, it was going to be different.

Y/N didn't want Jensen to leave, neither did she want to watch him go so she squeezed her eyes shut, adamant of not responding when he walked up to her.

She flinched when he heard the bathroom door shut. She counted down the minutes till the goodbye kiss but instead she felt the other side of the bed dip down with a familiar weight. Opening her eyes, she felt his hand wrapping around her waist. Jensen was in her bed. She turned to face him.

He was breathing slowly. His long lashes rested against his cheek and his freckled face reflected the look of absolute contentment.

Said you know I love you baby

My love for you I could never hide

Oh, you know I love you baby

My love for you I could never hide

Oh when I feel you near me little girl

I know you are my one desire

“You're staring.” He whispered.

“You're staying.” She replied back, making his beautiful eyes flutter open.

Pursing his lips together, he said, “Do you not want me to?”

“No-I mean, yes. Stay…But, what about Jared?”

“What about him?” He scrunched up his face in confusion.

“What if he finds out about us?” Y/N asked as she panicked. Hiding this relationship from Jared was the hardest task. He was like a brother to Jensen so he didn't want to lie to him but it was important to keep him in the shadows.

“Let him find out. I don't care anymore-”

“Jensen!” Y/N exclaimed. She didn't understand what was going on in his mind.

“It's okay, Y/N.” He said.

“How is it okay?”

“Millie and I are over. I finally ended it.”

Her mouth fell open in complete surprise. Of everything she had expected, this was the last thing she was anticipating to hear. “Our relationship was long dead anyway. We have separated. I'm filing for a divorce once I go back home this week.” Y/N would lie if she said that the thought of him choosing her over his wife had never crossed her mind.

“It's all because of me, isn't it-”

“No. No, sweetheart. We were already over even before I met you. I was just too scared to admit it to myself but then I met a girl, we talked. It was epic and the thought of losing her scared me more than anything else.” Jensen caressed her cheek, a gentle smile gracing his lips. He felt a burden being lifted from his shoulders. He could finally be with the woman he truly loved.

“Does this mean no more hiding?” She said, tears pooled in her eyes. Y/N needed to hear him say it now that she could shout it from the rooftops Jensen belonged to her, and she to him.

“Being with you made me realise what I was missing. All this while, I wasted my time trying to work on a dead relationship when I should have realised sooner that it was a lost case. That you are the one I want 'cause baby, I can't quit you. Millie and I would have never worked out no matter how many couple’s therapy we went to….I have never regretted a single moment I have spent with you. I love what we have. I love you.” Her breath hitched in her throat as she took in everything he said. Her mind was reeling from his sudden declaration. A single tear rolled down her cheek, as the corners of her lips tugged up, forming a smile but she was too overwhelmed to say anything, which Jensen took the wrong way and it scared him.

“Y/N-” his smile disappeared as his hand dropped from her cheeks, “I want you to be mine. Will you be mine?” Y/N immediately moved towards him. Her hands raked through his soft hair before she pulled him in for a longing kiss.

“I didn't even realise when I became yours but I know it happened at some point, Jay. I love you so much.” Y/N said. With smiles and their eyes sparkling with newfound happiness, they stayed in bed as Y/N nuzzled into his side. Jensen's warm hands were wrapped around her and she smiled against his chest. For the first time, the fear of losing Jensen didn't cross her mind because she knew he would stay with her that night and all that would follow. She was going to wake up with him by her side and didn't have to sneak behind anyone's back anymore.

She was happy and in love and so was Jensen.

Feedback is highly appreciated!

#jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles #jensen x reader #jensen ackles x you #SPNMixedBingo #bees7ksoftheweekchallenge #allyswritingevent #deangirl93s500followerscelebration #TellMeaStoryBingo #jensen x you #jensen ackles x y/n #jensen x y/n #jensen ackles smut #jensen ackles fluff #jensen ackles angst

[orionsangel86]

I’ve been thinking a LOT this morning about this comparison that keeps getting drawn between what meta writers are saying now about 15x20 and Destiel and the JohnLock Conspiracy(TM) and aside from just linking you all back to THIS POST by @winchestersingerautorepair which explains it all perfectly anyway, I do feel the need to stress some very clear and very glaringly different points that basically prove outright that this situation is Not That.

1. We already have confirmed Canon Destiel. The romantic feelings are confirmed in text. Destiel is canon. Arguably currently textually unrequited canon (yeah right) but it IS canon. It’s also Word of God canon. Basically, where we currently are is actually more canon than even Aziraphale and Crowley ever were. You can NOT say the same for JohnLock.

2. The JohnLock Conspiracy was all about how the actual final episode of the show was a “fake” bad finale, and how they would release a secret finale which would fix everything and make JohnLock canon a few weeks later. There was zero actual evidence of this anywhere. (Sorry JohnLock shippers, I feel for you I really do, but I just couldn’t ever see any evidence that the secret good finale was ever gonna happen.)

In contrast, we haven’t seen the Supernatural finale yet. It actually is next week. This is FACT. 15x20 is not a figment of Destiel shippers imaginations. We really do have one episode left which hopefully will give us everything we wish for.

3. All of this comparison has come out of meta writers saying 15x19 was written like a finale. We are calling it a finale and that’s why for some reason we are being mocked and compared to the JohnLock conspiracy... but... did those people who mock us not watch 15x19?!? (or at least get a plot summary and watch the final 10 minutes like me).

I can’t speak for my own opinion on the episode being bad, as I haven’t watched it. I have seen reactions both saying it was bad, and others saying it was good, or funny, or “so bad it’s good” but like, whatever. The point is, it WAS a finale. It was the episode that wrapped up the mytharc plot, had a callback montage to brother best moments and had them driving off into the sunset together now they are finally free. Like??? Call it whatever you want, but that was a finale.

Which is WHHHYYYY its SO WEIRD that there is still one episode left. What could POSSIBLY BE OUTSTANDING?

4. So yes. the FACTS are that UNLIKE Sherlock, Supernatural DOES have two finales. This isn’t some conspiracy. It’s a fact. We can joke that 15x19 was the “bronly” finale, but however you wanna see it, that was a finale. 15x20 can only be the long epilogue. The episode that wraps up the entire show. The episode JohnLock shippers dreamed about.

I really don’t mean to rub salt in the wound either. I don’t wanna insult anyone who believed in the conspiracy at the time, because hope is a funny thing that can have devastating effects - believe me, I know. But mocking us and trying to say the two are the same thing is just... wrong.

We don’t know how 15x20 will play out. But we do know the following FACTS:

Chuck is defeated. The big bad is gone.

There are no raised stakes anymore

the brothers are free (textually they confirmed this)

Jack as the new God, has fulfilled Castiel’s prophecy that he would bring about peace and balance to the universe. It’s done.

There is no story left concerning any of these big plot points.

BUT

Castiel is still in the Empty

Sam didn’t reunite with Eileen

Dean hasn’t said a damn thing about Castiel’s textually explicity confession of homosexual love for him

These are literally the ONLY things left to wrap up. There is NO WAY that the finale is going to be just a brothers road trip, growing old together, meeting random women, having kids and saying “Castiel Adam Jack Winchester you are named after the bravest men I know” kind of ending! It would be UNTHINKABLE for Dabb to do that.

I am seriously rubbing my temples on this whole thing because there are still so many naysayers that are pissing me off - particularly certain wannabe SPN writer BBFs who steal meta from Tumblr and pawn it off as their own “journalism” spewing crap all over Twitter about the matter because they have super secret insider knowledge from people who worked on the show that confirmed Misha isn’t back.

Oh Misha’s not back you say? Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck you. Everyone knows he went back to filming. He confirmed it himself over and over again until the CW finally panicked and told him to shut his damn mouth and change his story. These are the same people who have been feeding rumours into fandom for years to misdirect us. The same people who probably convinced KNOWN DESTIEL SHIPPER and SPN writer Meghan Fiztmartin to laugh at, deny, and mock Destiel shippers on Twitter literally only a few weeks before IT WENT CANON. They are doing everything in their power to put us off the scent. They don’t want us to know Cas is back because the ENTIRE ENDING RESTS ON CAS COMING BACK AND IF WE ALL KNEW IT WOULD BE SPOILED. DESTIEL IS THE ENDGAME THEY DON’T WANT SPOILED.

This is not anything like the JohnLock conspiracy because we have actual facts to back it up. We have all the evidence, we have all the logic, the narrative is BEGGING for the love story to be wrapped up. Dean MUST use his words and tell Castiel he loves him. Even the General Audience at this point can see that. So I beg you, stop mocking us for something you don’t know anything about.

If there is ONE THING you should trust right now. It’s the meta writers. We are the ones who have been telling you for YEARS that Destiel is a thing. That there was writer intent. Hell, we even predicted Jack would become God in the end (like seriously anyone with any understanding of literary analysis could see it was going that way). Mocking us after we have already been validated by canon confirmation of the DeanCas romance is just idiotic at this point.

#breaths #okay that became a rant #destiel #supernatural #spn endgame #15x20 #15x19 #the johnlock conspiracy #wank for ts #fucking twitter #im not even on it right now and im still getting drip fed