Tumgik
#@incorrectbatfam
just-a-madderslife · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
First thing I saw when I open my tumblr and I thought this tumblr idea of April fools day prank
0 notes
mamaspidershit · 1 month
Text
[at Peter's funeral] Natasha: *places her hand on the headstone and sobs* Natasha: How could you do this to me? We are so understaffed.
459 notes · View notes
Conversation
Chat Noir: *randomly hugs Marinette*
Marinette: What are you doing?
Chat Noir: Appreciating the little things in life.
Marinette:
Marinette: Die.
503 notes · View notes
star-trek-shallot · 1 year
Text
Chekov: Can I ask a question, Keptin?
Kirk: Sure. Shoot.
Chekov: *pulls out phaser, shoots the ceiling*
Chekov: Can I ask my question now?
424 notes · View notes
cinnamonzor · 9 months
Text
Caleb, sick: [pours Nyquil and orange juice in his coffee]
Caduceus: You would make a fascinating toxicology lesson.
145 notes · View notes
wiliam22pro · 1 month
Text
All of my life
Cullen: All of my life flashed before my eyes.
Cullen: It was really boring.
https://cutt.ly/iw0kfIjv
28 notes · View notes
kaitcreates · 8 months
Text
The Blackthorn Family running a restraunt
Julian: The head chef barking orders at everyone and analyzing every dish.
Mark: The dishwasher who basically fills the whole kitchen in a cloud of steam
Helen: The bartender because she's the only one legally allowed.
Aline: The hostess who sits people she doesn't like by the bathrooms
Dru: The rollerskating waitress balancing 8 hot plates on her arms and smiling through gritted teeth
Livvy: The finance guy drowning in receipts because people can't be bothered to add their own tips
Ty: The pastry chef who actually knows the difference between macaroons and macarons
Tavvy: They legally can't make him do anything except wipe down the menus
Emma: The customer who's there so often she's on a nickname basis with everyone else
124 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
Peter: Of course I became a crime lord. My entire existence is illegal. Derek: ...Explain. Peter: Well, if I'm legally dead, then I'm illegally alive, therefore: crime lord. Derek: ...That's not— that— Boyd: No, the logic is sound.
(source)
81 notes · View notes
godsofhumanity · 1 year
Text
Athena, dramatically: Life spares no sympathy for the eldest child :(
Dionysus: You may have been the first born, but I was the first dead, bitch.
Zeus: Dionysus, please.
292 notes · View notes
magnoliasandarson · 3 months
Text
Red Fans Bonding
Tim: Welcome to Applebee's would you like Apples or Bees? Black Mask (visibly sweating): I'm allergic to Apples- Tim: He wants the Bees! Jason (shaking a hive in a trashbag): Open wide-
39 notes · View notes
natsskydivingcrew · 1 year
Text
Steve: You have to believe me!
Bucky: Steve, you are the last good person on this earth. I would believe cartoon birds combed your hair this morning.
292 notes · View notes
incorrectringsofpower · 6 months
Text
Halbrand: I got you something that will make you happy. I call them "Opposite Tortures." Galadriel: You mean presents? Halbrand: Yes, that's better, thank you.
21 notes · View notes
mamaspidershit · 20 days
Text
Peter: You can tell a lot about a woman by her hands. For instance, if she has hooves? Probably a horse. Natasha: Probably? Peter: You don't want to know.
113 notes · View notes
Conversation
Mcgonagall: Mister Kim, I need you to fill out another application, this time do it correctly.
Jae: Why?
Mcgonagall: You put "Pizza" as your gender, pizza is not a gender.
Jae: but everyone wants a piece of me.
61 notes · View notes
Tumblr media
Derek: I don't know how you did it.
Stiles: What?
Derek: Kept it together during those two months that I went missing. Two days I didn't know where you were and it nearly killed me.
217 notes · View notes
thecruellestmonth · 11 months
Note
Okay every time I see a batfam headcanon post I cannot stop seeing your sarcastic post about "favorite batfam drinks" and how does it feel to be the most correct person in fandom?
Haha. Every time I come across a Batfam™ post that lavishes attention on the Batboys™ and only tacks on the others as boring afterthoughts, I bitterly mutter: "Cass likes WATER!" "Duke's favorite color is BEIGE!" "Stephanie enjoys BREATHING AIR!"
And so I decided to infect you guys with my internal monologue.
32 notes · View notes