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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 5 years

Text

It’s The Avengers (02x11)

Loki x Reader Avengers The Office AU (Slowwwwww Burn)

Season 2 Episode 11: Oh God! They were Fake Dating!

Warnings: oh shit! I wrote fluff! Aaaah! Also, I’d suggest you guys listen to the two soundtracks added in here so that it’s better to imagine what our precious goofballs are truly up to.

Word Count: I didn’t realise when my medications were over. And now I’m not feeling that good. I was supposed to make an appointment for this weekend to meet the new doc but I am so exhausted mentally that it looks like such a huge effort to travel to and from another city for four hours in a single day and talk to someone from freaking scratch. *falls in the floor face down*

MASTERLIST in bio, darlings. Tags are open (check bio)

Scott's voiceover: I don't feel like they're going anywhere.

The camera showed you sitting in the lounge, your hair a hot mess, your reading glasses nearly falling from the bridge of your nose. Pietro, with quite possibly the biggest sandwich he could make along with a tall glass of iced tea, passed you, sniffing the air of the lounge before scrunching his nose.

"Mh, haven't showered for two days, huh? Let me guess. Your finals are from tomorrow."

You didn't even acknowledge what he just said, too engrossed in the pile of notes and books kept in front of you.

"How could this bitch of a scientist ever think this could work?!" He heard you exasperate before wishing you luck and walking to his room.

The camera shifted from the lounge to the library where Loki sat engrossed in a book only he knew the theme of. Mainly because it was a hardback with nothing but the blackness of the fabric covering it.

I know! I know! This is finals week and I could not possibly let Y/N have any distractions but that doesn't mean Loki can't be distracted?

The camera shifted from a very engrossed Loki- who didn't so much as flip when Clint walked by, calling him all sorts of names, or when Stark quite literally peeped into the library, telling Rhodey to let Loki just sit there and maybe bring him some snacks and let world rest in peace till that book lasts- to a very curious Peter by the library door.

Scott: *concerned* But looking at the way Y/N looks like right now, the only way she's going to distract Loki is with the exam stench coming from her. *very concerned*

Scott sat by the kitchenette and watched as Tony brought you a cup of coffee to keep by your side.

"I can't drink coffee," you mumble, scratching your head with your pencil, "it does something to my heartbeat."

And without any word, Tony took away the coffee to the kitchenette, dumped it in the sink and made a jug full of iced tea with lemon and mint and placed the jug and glass at your table, pouring one for you.

"Thank you," you muttered, scratching your face this time.

"You better study hard or I'll cut your phone time," he announced.

Tony stood there, shifting his weight on his legs before walking out of the room. Your eyes followed him, your smile growing bigger with every passing second at the sweetest little gesture before gulping down the glass of iced tea and feeling drained power return to you while Scott followed Tony, all the while saying, “You know I could’ve had that coffee.”

The Next Day

Scott: Okay, so I may have done a little something today. And by something I mean I took advantage of Y/N's sullen mood because she doesn't know how her first exam went.

The scene shifted to you sitting in the library this time, a soft playlist on as you sifted through your notes while sitting in your PJs at three in the afternoon.

Oh yeah! I told her library would be so much better to work in. No distractions. *chuckles*

Scott, proud of himself, walked out into the lounge to have all the pride drained from his face as he saw something he wasn't supposed to. "What are you doing here? You were supposed to be in the library!"

The camera swerved from his shocked face to look at Loki lounging in Tony's favourite seat, deeply engrossed in his book.

The God looked up from the pages, only to furrow his brows at Scott. "First the spiderling drags me out of the library saying it's better in the lounge and now you come out of nowhere to push me back in there. What is going on?"

Scott: Dammit! We should have synchronised! *flails his hands in defeat*

Peter: I know! *groans*

Scott: *turns to Peter* don't you have exams, mister?

Peter: *shrugs and droops* I finished all my revision when Aunt May grounded me for hanging out with Mr Brock.

Scott: Who?

Peter: *tired sigh* Venom.

Scott: Oh! OH! Ohh, kid. No.

Peter: I know *nods*

*silence*

Scott: Will she allow you to meet him under adult supervision?

Peter: *stares blankly at the camera before turning to Scott*

Both Scott and Peter give a knowing smirk to the camera before doing a fistbump.

The Night Before the Last Exam

A soft wail like a note rising from a broken guitar rose from the library, forcing Loki and Peter to stop on their way to the roof to fly Peter's final science project.

Exchanging confusion building on their faces, they entered the space- with the camera following them right at their toes- to find out you slouching into your knees in a corner surrounded by scattered notes and books.

"Y/N?" Feather-like lightness left Loki's lung as he called out your name, "are you okay?"

You raised your head to show the audience the mess that was your face smeared with tears and snot along with the hair sticking in the waters of despair- only the strands that managed to not go wild over your head. "Umm-nna~ff~aal 'marro-"

Loki's brows furrowed at alien language you spoke.

"She said 'I'm gonna fail tomorrow'," Peter tried to help with the translation.

Peter: Of course, I know. I'm an expert in tear-translation. Thanks to all the A-holes who broke Aunt May's heart. *squints in anger at the camera* Especially you, Charles. *camera pans in* You are on my black-list. *forces out a low husky threatening voice* It is so black it can compete with vantablack. Oh, yes! That is exactly what I'm gonna do to you if I ever see you get out of Apartment 24, 75th block, Myrtle road.

"I've been trying to learn the observations and conclusions and their downsides but nothing is going inside my head," you sobbed, your eyes closing up and the tears running down thicker and faster than all the waterfalls you visited in your life.

Loki looked at you before shifting his gaze between Peter and his winged bot in his hands. Coming back to you, he gave you his hand. "Come with us," his words more of a command and less of a wish, "we're going to fly Peter's invention."

You looked at him with third-degree confusion crinkled between your brows, about to burst out but not doing so for the God's hand was still out for you. Waiting.

Peter took one- not so discreet- step towards you, breaking the silent conversation of whatever sort of understanding was going on between the two of you to hand you a tissue.

Wiping your tears, and clearing all nose blockage, you dunked the used tissue into the nearest waste bin before taking Loki's hand. Those long and slender fingers wrapped over the back of your palm, helping you up quite effortlessly- not to mention, gracefully.

The camera recorded the two of you walking out, going to the rooftop and testing out Peter's work. Just as time passed, both men could see the difference in you. By the end of the evening, you were laughing your heart out when Peter tried to explain Loki what was the urban meaning of the sentence 'Word'.

Loki was seen smiling as he watched you cackle without care.

Loki: Y/N has no idea how horrendous she looks when she laughs. *chuckles* her mouth open wide, her tongue on the edge of coming out to catch heaven-knows what while she tries to hold her stomach as if it's going to dash somewhere. *chuckles again* And to think that silly woman was worried about some unworthy test that's not even going to matter in the future. *shakes head and rolls his eyes*

Peter was enjoying watching the two, happy and content, playing with his science project when suddenly he felt his brows crinkle right when Loki and you are standing less than a foot together.

"No, dummy, that wire is the reason it is grounded," he heard you tell Loki, who looked at you with shock in his eyes.

"This dummy created a grounding spell when he was twelve. You better start to learn a thing or two about the God you live with, woman."

You looked up at your 'God' with a tilt. "Damn, son. No wonder you're so single with the ice you spit."

"Learn some better metaphors too," Loki quipped without even taking a breath, feeling a slight nudge in his torso as you punched him.

The crinkled brows turned into narrowed eyes looking at the camera.

Peter: Why have we even been trying so hard? *infuriating whisper*

Next Day

"I did it! I *bleep* did it!" You stormed into the conference hall with the biggest grin slapped on your face, watching the grim faces of the Avengers turn to you and transform into the warmest smiles. Even some hoots and applause.

"That's my girl," Natasha declared, pulling a chair next to her for you to sit down, the smile never leaving her face till you planted your ass in the cosy leather.

"Oh, wait," you suddenly felt your body sit too straight for your comfort, "am I interrupting something?"

"You mean apart from your biological father going on and on about how incompetent everyone in this room is?" Loki added from where he sat, which was the far corner with a witch-hat that had dunce written over it. This did not seem to bother him for he looked two comfortable with his feet resting on another chair as he read a book- this time with a red hardcover. "No, not really."

"Dum-e," Stark's voice announced, making the robot squeak and stroll towards Loki before gassing him with an extinguisher.

You tried your best not to let the laugh escape your mouth.

"We are having a meeting regarding this latent threat. So, if you don't mind please walk out of the door where you came from," Tony ordered you, swinging his fingers towards the door before turning to look at the screen.

"Wait a minute," Scott nearly jumped off his seat, "that's it! Y/N can help us with the mission!"

A whole bunch of 'excuse me', 'wait what', 'you gotta be shitting me,' and 'do you want me to kill you's rose up around the table, definitely taking you by surprise.

"How could I possibly help in a mission?" you stressed the last part so Scott would know what he was talking about.

You: I can barely lie to myself about how much ice cream I’m gonna have in a day and Scott expects me to lie to professional liars and criminals? *raises his arms in disbelief* What?

"No, seriously, just hear me out," Scott stood and begged out loud, trying to calm everyone. "The target knows us all. He has seen our faces and one whiff of us near him and he'll disappear from here before we get a chance to retrieve the shiny thing."

"The pulsator," Steve helped Scott.

"Yes, that thing. Thanks, Cap. So Y/N can be our eyes and ears at the restaurant that we know he is definitely going to visit tonight with his wife, thanks to his crush on the bartender that works there. All she has to do is go there, enjoy and observe while Peter and I take care of the extraction."

"Why can't you two be the eyes and the extraction?" Pietro asked the most obvious question.

"What we if he sees this and develops a crush on me?" Scott pointed out at his bod while Peter pointed at him with a 'true fact' expression.

"Y/N is not going and that's the end of the discussion," Tony declared. Or at least tried to.

"I agree with Scott on this one," Natasha broke the low buzz, nearly giving Tony a stroke. "But," she raised a finger while sitting up straight, stopping whatever dad-rage was about to come out from his mouth, "I'd rather ask Y/N if she'd be open to the idea of doing it."

That's it. All pair of eyes were on you now. Especially Tony's trying to wear you down.

Y/N: And I thought studying basic psychology was mental murder.

"Oh, I'm in," you simply shrugged, taking away twenty years from Tony's life. "Just give me a test run before you send me out in the field."

"You're grounded," Tony announced, making you furrow your brows at him with a layer of pure judgment.

"Oh come on, Tony," Steve smirked, "she's your daughter after all."

"She is not going in there. Not alone at least."

"Loki can go with her," Scott added without skipping a beat, getting the God's attention. "They can uhh...they can play it like they're on a date!"

Clint: *twists his jaw* *narrows eyes* Is this another one of those bets or is Scott just trying to get on my nerves?

Tony: *gazes right into the camera* Right now I am searching ten thousand ways to slowly murder an ant. *taps the phone without looking at it* *phone chimes* *still stares at the camera* Oh look! It says suffocate them in their sleep.

"I'm extremely interested in knowing why Loki and why not Pietro or Wanda?" Tony was genuinely curious, never seeing the coherent groans and shaking heads that filled the room. Even you stretched the corner of your lips and gestured him to cut the topic.

"Pietro had a crush on a Y/N. Y/N didn't like him. I knew all of that the entire time." Wanda practically picked up the baggage and threw it smack into Tony's face."

Tony: *shocked eyes looking at a distant void* Suddenly I feel Pepper saw what I could never see. And to think *pause* all this time I was worried about frat houses.

Pepper: Oh! Don't put this on this me! *raises her hands in question with crinkled brows* I was worried about her staying with people sharing three brain cells that are solely made for fighting. And those brain cells belong to Natasha, Wanda and Steve. *nods* Probably.

He gave Pietro a 'the audacity of this bitch' look. "You know what, I'll go with Y/N," he finally concluded. According to him.

"Tony, stop being such a whiner," Natasha broke the wave of authority Tony clearly was riding on, justly, "Y/N is an adult who can act her age during the mission and that's all we want her to do. We will obviously be standing by in case anything goes wrong. Loki will be going with her because thanks to you and Fury no one has any shred of evidence of his existence now. No one would even look at them twice while you have a tendency to be a magnet in the crowd."

Loki: She's wrong. *scoffs* *nods his head in his defence* clearly she doesn't know how many heads have turned to look at me twice when I twisted them off their shoulders. *smiles contently*

*camera pans out to show Natasha sitting with him, looking at the God with a judgy brow*

Natasha: Only you could interpret that phrase in such a way. *pauses before breaking into a sly smile* I respect that.

Everyone could feel how hard Tony was trying to refrain from breaking his own jaw by the veins showing all over his face and neck. "I'll be keeping an eye on them."

"No," Steve and Natasha blurted in unison. "You are staying out of this one before you start making it personal," the black widow, announced.

"I'll be fine, Mr Stark!" you stressed, "Loki'll be with me all the time."

Tony: *nearly breaking the glass with his voice* “flailing his hands wildly* THAT'S EXACTLY THE *BLEEP* SHIT THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT!!!

"That's if he's okay with it," you interrupted yourself, turning to Loki- forcing others to look at him too- to find out his thoughts.

Loki: *counting on his fingers one by one* Going on a covert mission, getting out of this godforsaken place, getting the chance to finally at least punch someone in the face, *faces with camera with innocent wonderment* all the while getting to piss off Stark and Barton because I will be with the former's daughter? *slowly wrecks up the evilest grin* Well, isn't that a ball!

Tony: *his hand on his heart* Friday! Check my vitals! *turns back to camera* I can feel him scheming right this second. *turns his gaze away to the door* there is no way I'm leaving my daughter alone with him.

*camera pans out to a very calm and very pregnant Pepper reading something*

Pepper: *clicks tongue, still engrossed in her Tycoon magazine* Sweetie he's alone with your daughter practically every time you aren't in the room.

Tony: *eyes go white while he turns seven shades whiter before looking at his wife* What, are you trying to kill me?

Pepper: *still doesn't look up* oh, get over yourself.

Mission Night

"Everyone check your comms," Natasha's voice crackled in Steve's ears, who was dressed rather casually for himself in a black leather jacket over a white shirt and blue jeans. Wanda, on the other hand, was all black, laid back in her seat inside the surveillance van.

Wanda: *smiling* Ooooh! Someone's dressed to hold hands!! *giggles*

"Is the Raven and kitten ready?" Steve asked in the comms.

The click of the door turned the camera to show Natasha stepping in. "They're ready," she announced before checking Steve out. "Oh!" she whistled, "looks like someone is buying a lady some Virgin Mojito tonight."

Steve crinkled his brows before realising what was going on.

"Really?" he flatly spewed at Nat.

"And then maybe ask her if he could get her a cab since she didn't have a car," Wanda added matter-of-factly.

"Oh, yes," Nat continued, sitting down on the empty chair, "and then leaving her at the front of her house and telling her to lock all the doors and windows because ‘this ain’t the good neighbourhood ma’am’, giving her a salute and walking away."

Giggles burst out through Wanda while Steve twisted his jaw and rolled his eyes at his ladies.

"Shut up," he simply cut, looking at nothing in particular in the screen in front of him.

"Okay, but why am I the kitten? Kitten?! Really?" your voice broke through the comms, making the captain smile eventually.

"'Cause you are cute but dangerous," Nat spoke with a motherly intent. "Now go get those bad guys for us." And just like that, she switched her warm tone to a freezing one, "Loki."

"Icy," Loki's voice commented monotonously before clearing his throat, "Are you sure you want me to go in, Captain?"

He almost brought the worry lines over Steve's forehead. "I might kill a few men, women and allies with just my looks."

A crssh and crash followed by barely audible curse echoed through the comms.

"Did he crash into a bin?" Steve whispered to Nat, who shook her head. “Must be our extraction guys. Wait, is Tony listening into this?”

"Scott, Peter. What's your twenty?" Steve posed the question.

"Yeah, sorry," Scott answered, "I think that was me. We're in position. Playing the best servers at the minimum wage we're being paid."

"He's here," Steve announced it more for himself, "all right. Positions, everybody. Y/N, Loki...go."

*The cameras planted inside the restaurant captured everything in HD because Tony wouldn't want anything less than a 4k resolution for watching bad guys being taken down by his team*

The subtle light bouncing off the bricked walls inside the restaurant gave it a quaint touch, something way too sophisticated and warm for what they were about to witness.

The speakers playing soft jazz crackled without a warning to softly go 'la la la' before breaking into the heavy beats accompanied by the two figures entering the space.

And suddenly, everything went slow.

*When I popped off then your girl gave me just a little bit of lockjaw

Baby so cold, he from the north, he from the Canada

Bankroll so low I got nothing else that I can withdraw

Ran out the door*

Loki entered the space in his most casual yet somehow scintillating apparel of a black henley hugging him, showing away the muscles no one thought he had.

The cameras caught Wanda and Natasha's brows going up as they leaned in- quite in sync- towards the screens to see the perfect cuts on his biceps that were teasing every looker. Steve really had to look at them twice to believe they were looking at Loki in a new light. Now that henley would have been enough, but the black jeans perfectly curving his toned ass really added to the mix, making both the red-heads turn to eye each other and give a knowing smile, all the while Steve pressed his lips, sighed and let his head drop.

*I shine my wrist it go like shashasha, shashasha

I got your bitch singing like lalala, lalala*

You walked by Loki's side, the camera panned in on you to show your thigh-high sundress painted in yellow flowers drowning in red, your legs exposed to lights, soaking them in, your arm locked in Loki's while the other one let your hair fly free.

Eyes flew towards the two of you- well, mostly Loki- as glasses tipped, spoons clattered, women forgot to breathe, men bonked themselves into walls and the allies drowned in that dapper energy the God just threw off like breathing out carbon dioxide.

*I shine my wrist it go like shashasha, shashasha

I got your bitch singing like lalala, lalala

How I stride like that?*

The music suddenly died, the cameras panning in on Peter standing by the audio controls in one corner while Scott stood next to him with the plug in his hand. "He deserves better than that. They deserve better than that," Scott stressed in a whisper to Peter, who was still stunned by the intro song cut short, "not that this wasn't...kewl."

Peter raised his brows at Scott. "Kewl? Really? Kewl? That's how you think the youngsters talk?"

The manager walked by glaring at the two dressed as servers. Scott giving him a 'hey how ya doin' smile.

Scott shushed him to see what Loki and you were doing.

The God was clearly basking in the attention he was getting. You, on the other hand, seemed...

You: Of course, I love attention. Who doesn't? *smiles before licking her lips and feeling that smile disappear* Who doesn't love it when people keep staring at you to question if you have something on your face? *smiles again, but this time it's forced* But then it turns out it's just your face!

"Wow," you muttered as you sat down by Loki's side, the camera panning over to your target right behind you- a man in a blue suit, clean-cut beard and soft blonde hair going back- showing the close proximity in which you were sitting, "people are really not buying we could be together."

Loki settled beside you, looking at you in some deep thought before asking, "Would you like to sell it?" You shrugged. "Sure. I always wanted to be an actor," you whispered, leaning in close and touching his chin with your finger, making Loki smirk devilishly. The camera did not miss the woman and man sitting at two separate tables looking at the two of you with such intensity- and quite possibly, jealousy. While the man practically stabbed the table with his fork, the woman cracked the glass of champagne in her hand.

Loki- it seemed- could see everything going around him without even seeing. "Well, Miss Girlfriend," he sang softly, leaning closer to you, his cold breath tickling the hairs on your face, "you seem to be getting a lot of negative attention just by breathing right next to me."

"Hmm," you tilted your head and hummed, taking a swig of water without increasing the distance, "I can surely feel their stare on my back, boyfriend. They are willing to kill me just to get a whiff of you."

"Well, why don't we give them more reason to spell murder on their hands?" he spoke softly before extending his arm behind you, wrapping you in his side.

"Comfy?" he asked. You nodded, trying to suppress a smile. "Smooth raven," you muttered.

A thwack was heard followed by Loki cursing under his breath as he retrieved his arm from behind you for both of you to watch the back of his hand go through a light bruise before quickly disappearing.

"Oh, I am sorry, mister," an old man with a grey beard, fine lines and judgy eyes, dressed in a funky beach shirt and jeans. "I thought you were trying to strangle this beautiful dame."

"No, he wasn't?" you shook your head in confusion at the old man.

Old man: *looking directly at the camera* *in his authoritative old man voice* that's what all men want you to think. *camera starts panning in* don't zoom on my face *stops and slowly pans out*

"Okay, kitten," Natasha's voice crackled through the comms, "the ant and the spider are approaching the target."

You turned towards the man in question, observing him for a good second before turning to the woman sitting with him. "That is one stunning piece of jewellery you have there."

The woman turned to watch your gaze right at her sapphire bracelet. "Why, thank you! My husband bought it from me," she cooed, looking at their target.

"Too bad my darling isn't amused by stones," Loki chimed in, shifting his hand over yours before grazing it softly and letting your fingers intertwine, "otherwise I would have gotten her something...out of this world. Something worth...infinity and beyond."

You: *evidently not being able to breathe* *licks her lips* *tries to talk normally but all that comes out is a whisper* damn! He's a pro!

Scott: Is it just me or does Loki look effortlessly hot tonight? *turns to watch Loki planted casually in his seat, leaning towards your ear to say something that makes you smile so wide that you have to bite down on your lips* *camera pans out to show Scott glowing* So hot! *creases brows* Of course, full homo! Even Hope knows that.

"Your wife is a very lucky woman," the man finally spoke, taking you by surprise.

"Son of a beee-" a staggering shout came from behind your table. Both you and Loki- along with your target and his company- turned to see the same old man making quite the ruckus, pausing only when he realised all eyes were on him and pointing to the stage.

The piano and trumpet introduced a beat and in came a man in full leather on the stage with his back to the audience, the microphone on ready.

I went down to the river and lost my mind

I said Lord won't you save me just one last time

Thought I told ya'

I was looking for a sign

"Wait, I know that voice," you uttered loud enough for only Loki to hear.

"Son of a-" Nat's voice crackled over the comms before the lights shone about the slick face of Clint Barton swinging and singing on the stage all the while glaring at Loki with a death stare, almost hissing the song through his teeth.

Had it once wonder if I would get it twice

Peace of mind only comes in the afterlife

Thought I told ya'

I was looking for a sign

"Oh," Loki rolled his eyes, "you have got to be joking. Romanoff!"

"Ignore him," Steve ordered, "eyes on the prize. Y/N."

You got up just when Peter the server was 'passing by', to collide with him and have your dress ruined by whatever liquid he was carrying.

Like any villainous gentleman, Mr Target got up and offered his handkerchief to you, asking you if you were okay. Mrs Target, just as quickly she'd gotten jealous, felt sparks when Loki took her hand in assurance.

"It's all right," Loki reassured her, "I'll take care of her."

The woman was growing ten shades of red as she watched Loki give her his signature smile, making her melt right there.

What neither part of the target couple caught was Scott taking advantage of the dim light, you and Loki to swap the man's phone and wallet, hiding it no-one-knows where.

The Red Velvet Van

"I got it! I got it!" Scott barged into the van wheezing.

Nat took the phone from him, already cloning it. "You look like you ran a marathon."

"Yeah," Scott huffed, standing straight finally, "my manager's gonna fire me any second so...woah! Do you have a date tonight, Cap? Gonna hang out at a diner? Grab some shakes and do the twist?"

Wanda did a really loud ‘ha-haaa’ while Nat just gave Steve an 'I told you so' look.

"Here, take it back and keep an eye on Clint," Natasha ordered Scott, getting a salute in return before the van's door closed behind him.

Inside the Restaurant

The old man too had joined the little mayhem caused on Mr Target's table, accidentally smacking his hand when he tried to grab your arm and ask you if you were okay.

"Hey grandpa," Mr Target nearly shouted in the old man's face, "are you blind?"

The old man looked at him with subjective eyes before muttering, "Not yet, no. I can still see your wife trying to flirt with her friend."

You and Target turned to watch Mrs Target laughing out loud while grabbing Loki's arm every chance she got.

"Babe," you raised your voice just enough for Loki to hear you over Clint's aggressively teasing music, "I'll go to the washroom to clean this out."

The camera caught Scott coming back, smoothly keeping the phone on the table before grabbing the old man. "Let me help you back to your seat, sir," he stressed, nearly running into Loki's back, pushing him into you.

Loki grabbed you by the waist in order to not fall over you- neither of you noticed the shriek that left Clint and the bewildered 'what? WHAT?!' that left the old man- wrapping his other arm around your upper back.

"You want me to come with you?" he asked rather seriously.

"No, I'm good," you assured him with a nod and a smile, all the while the camera capturing the hesitant jealousy steaming up inside Mrs Target as she watched the two of you get so intimate.

Loki let his hand drop from your back to take your hand in his, never losing his eye contact with you. Bringing your hand closer to his lips, he planted a light kiss on the back of your hand. "Come back fast," he requested ever so softly, leaving you without words for a few seconds before you remembered how to blink.

Neither of you noticed Clint's 'son-of-b****' off the mic as he jumped off the stage, walking towards the two of you before being carried away but a young brunette boy soothing him with a 'there, there. Shhh, let's go outside and shoot some arrows, okay? Yes, the spider is clearly stronger than the hawk tonight."

The Lounge

"We got the location of that Pandora's box Pulsator. Friday is checking out the geography of the location where it's stacked. Vision said he'll pick it up on his way back from another mission."

"Wait," Sam interrupted Natasha, stopping in his swivel chair with a dramatic pause, "when did Vision go on a mission?"

Peter arched his brow before leaning towards Scott. "Can you say that fast? When did Vision go on a mission?"

And so began the whispering battle of saying the phrase as fast as possible.

"Last night," Wanda joined the conversation, "he wanted to get some special paprika," she ended with a knowing smile, clearly meant for the boys to stop talking and start smiling.

"Dayum," Sam stressed with his little high pitched voice, "that AI is finally getting the hang of it, isn't he?"

"Speaking of getting the hang of it," you spoke from the couch, sprawled on it lazily while Loki sat on the floor, curiously looking at Peter trying to teach him, Steve and Bucky how to play Cards Against Humanity, "somebody looked like they were ready to take their first date to second base."

Steve looked up to watch every set of eyes looking at him with a devilish smile.

"Sure, if by second base you mean eating greasy burgers at a hilltop and talking about how expensive the nearest city is," Clint added as he entered the lounge.

"Says the man who kept being a cockblocker the entire night," Steve did not even miss a beat, leaving everyone to gasp and shriek senseless.

Sam: *Bucky and Peter sitting next to him* I don't know whether to hoot for that comment Clint throw or shriek at Steve throwing a f*****g perfect comeback.

Bucky: *guffaws* I'm just surprised he knows what cockblock means!

Peter: I know!!!! *laughs*

Sam: *looks at Peter in confusion and laughs at him*

Bucky: *pauses mid-laugh* *tilts his head to look at some invisible void, his face still plastered with that paused laugh*

Sam: *looking at Bucky* you don't know it either, do ya?

Bucky: *without missing a beat* Nope.

"What?" Clint nonchalantly poured himself some whiskey, "I was a distraction. Or should I say...main attraction," he grinned at the eyes rolling at him.

"Hey, great job tonight, Y/N," Natasha scruffled your hair, gathering affirmed 'yeah's through the lounge.

"Thanks, guys. It wasn't much though. All I had to do was...be there."

"Cool," Nat smiled at you before morphing her face into a serious one, "now tell me honestly. Did he do anything inappropriate with you? 'Cause I'll drive to his place and break his bones right now if he did."

"Wow, no, thank you so much, Nat. I really appreciate it. But no, he didn't do anything. Loki was there with the whole time. He was a good distraction for our bi target."

Scott: *suggestively sings* Distraction? Or should I say 'Main Attraction'! *arches his brows repetitively while smiling hella wide*

"All right, now you off you go," Nat patted you on your back, forcing you to get up and walk towards the dorms, "go get some sleep and remove all the tiredness from your exam week."

You went off to the dorms while the rest of the gang sat down on the floor to play Cards Against Humanity.

"Javier," Nat pointed at the boy behind the camera, "come with me for a sec."

Both of them got inside the elevator, rode to the first underground level and got out to walk into the direction where the overhead dim lights led them.

"Sir, you have company," the duo heard from across the glass wall where Tony sat amidst an ocean of holograms of information.

Nat clicked the door open to let the camera see Tony swipe away everything with a wave of his hand.

"Hey, you're not allowed here," Tony said, not looking at Nat or camera. "This is my holy ground. So, off you go."

"Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just gathering evidence. Next time wear a better disguise," Nat dropped the bomb on Tony, who sat there puckering his lips at the air for what could be said was a considerably long while for Tony Stark.

"I was gonna go for something Sherlock-y but Pepper says I get very method and it destroys the mood," he finally spoke.

"She's old enough to take care of herself, Tony. Not to mention she had me looking out for her all the time," Nat had her arms crossed across her chest now.

"Why is Javier here?" he looked behind the camera.

"Like I said, gathering evidence to blackmail you in the future. She is just starting to get to know you, Tony. Do you really want to sabotage the father-daughter relationship even before it begins?"

Silence falls over the wide space that is broken only by Dum-e's whirring as he looks between Nat and Tony before turning towards the camera.

"I just want to protect her, Nat," Tony sighed, dropping his hands on his lap. "I just want to protect her from all the bad in this world. And you know why."

"I know," she replied softly before sitting down next to him, "but that doesn't mean you won't let her experience anything out of your comfort zone. And Loki is not bad. You know this better. You travelled to space and met some really weird creatures."

"That's true actually."

"Give him a chance too. He's done nothing yet that would tell us otherwise. And if he ever would, I have stacked up on that alien juice in my poison dart for a reason."

"Sometimes I truly wonder why do you hang out with Rogers. He doesn't deserve a friend like you."

Natasha chuckled and got up.

"Yeah, yeah. Steve tells me the same about you," she commented as she walked away, signalling Javier to follow her.

"Find that old man a date, Nat."

"Go back to your wife, Tony. You need to sleep."

"Right."

"For the last time, Peter, the Leaning Tower of Pisa isn’t an example of erectile dysfunction," Scott stressed as him, Peter and Loki walked back to the dorms with their respective cups of hot tea.

"Is this another one of your meme things?" Loki asked.

Before Peter could answer, your door opened and you came out devoid of makeup, your hair tied up- still messy- dressed in your overused shirt and shorts.

"Oh, yes!" you whispered in content, taking Loki's mug from his hand to blow on it before taking a careful swig.

"Hey," Loki ordered, "that's mine!"

"But what's yours is mine, fake boyfriend," you sang ever so innocently, never catching the fistbump that happened behind Scott and Peter's back.

Loki looked at you with furrowed brows before arching his good brow at you. "Oh, if that's the case then you're mine, fake girlfriend."

You looked at him for a moment before going 'cool'. "I've got two assignments, one mini project for the break and three appointments to make. Do them by the end of the day tomorrow since I am all yours, fake darling," you suggested, taking another swig.

Loki opened his mouth to speak something to shut you up and get your cup back while simultaneously you got on your toes, turned to his one side and planted a light kiss on his cheek.

"Good night fake babe," you signed off softly, giving him back his cup and walking back into your room, leaving Scott and Peter more notably befuddled that Loki.

Scott: *water at the edge in his eyes* *whispers* this is it. Peter, this is it.

Peter: *nods at Scott and turns to the camera* *whimpers* why is this so much better than a Disney movie?

Scott: *sniffles* Because it ain't canon. It's real life baby!

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