#ABOUT TO BE THE BEST MATCH LETS GO

[bonefall]

I’m rereading Po3 and despite its flaws I really enjoyed the introduction to the three. Jaykit isn’t mentioned to be blind in the first few chapters and instead they chose to show how much MORE capable he is compared to his littermates; until at the end of chapter 3, he brings up his blindness on his own. It makes forcing him to be a medicine cat SO much more frustrating because it really feels like they’re setting him up to be a warrior and choose his own fate (note i haven’t finished the reread this is just my first impression)

I like how you seem to take that path in BB regardless! It makes his arc so much more enjoyable

His arc in canon is super frustrating because he's such an independent character who clearly wants to make his own decisions in life, but then he just gets shoved into the medcat den. I LIKE that he ultimately goes there and that he enjoys it; but it was still really fucked up that they stripped away his autonomy in the process.

Re: they are not real, they are writing choices. Taking away the choices a disabled character can make over their own life, forcing them into a celibate nun role, and then going "awwwww dont worry see? he likes it! This was the best thing for him :)" was fucked up.

And imo it didn't have to be that way! You wouldn't have to go the FULL route I did with big changes, he could just be more involved in the descision to stop being a warrior apprentice and it would be fine. Minor change that would make a world of difference.

I do also have to interject to say though... blindness should really not be an extremely severe impairment for a ThunderClan cat.

I'm dead serious.

Whiskers are built-in sensors that tell you the exact position of everything within several inches of your head, ears swerve to pick up sound, and the jacobson's organ provides a sense of smell so keen that I have an entire Clanmew expansion draft because I needed to make WORDS describing the power of this sense that humans do not have. I cannot stress enough how delicate their other senses are, felines do not rely on their sight like primates do

ThunderClan lives in a mixed-oak woodland, where sight is already often obscured by foliage, objects are close together (for whiskers to feel), and nearly every movement makes noise against the leaf litter. RiverClan and (moor-running) WindClan cats would have a harder time with this disability than Thunder or Shadow.

Cat sight SUCKS to begin with. It sucks BADDD. They don't have color vision, they're significantly nearsighted, and they can't track up-and-down movements well. WC doesn't write realistic cats (more like small fuzzy people really) and I also work with more humanesque eyesight, but the only thing Jay should really lose is an ability to rapidly track a small animal swerving fast. Blind cats are often still excellent hunters in spite of that!

So it's an extra big waste that they railroaded him into a position he didn't choose, saying he couldn't be a warrior. This is the perfect disability to write, if you want to explore how ableism can impact the characters in this society who ARE legitimately still capable of nearly full independence, but still need to find accommodations for what they can't do.

In the same arc they're doing the dumb Cinder Reincarnation Plotline, no less!! Where SHE is also feeling like she has no choice over her "destiny," and gets a conflict over a potentially disabling injury

"Oh nooo if cinderpaw breaks her leg she wont be a warrior!"

"What the f-- Im Jaypaw and im reporting live from the scene where a Category 1 Idiot Moment is taking place. Woman breaks leg, suddenly everyone believes she is a horse, more at 11."

One of these days I should really make "herb guides" just covering how various sensory disabilities impact the lives of Clan cats and some tips for writing them as warriors, especially between Clans. Stuff you wouldn't usually consider, like how much noise deaf cats tend to make, how RiverClan would get a ton of sinus infections and lose their sense of smell, being blind in Sky vs Thunder, etc.

#I once saw someone say offhandedly 'well what if someone snuck up on jay from behind and attacked him. No whiskers there' #NEWSFLASH! YOU ALSO DONT HAVE EYES IN THE BACK OF YOUR HEAD #He doesn't have short whiskers either they're normally sized #Something like 4 - 5 inches on a cat like him. About double the size of the head foward and sideways #Once you're talking about close combat like the cats usually do there's no way that you can stay back far enough to avoid them #I want to rewrite owl and jay's fight or make a rematch where jay realizes owl is being a coward #Hanging just out of his range and jabbing at him #But once he realizes it's just a coward's strategy it clicks that the counter is to be aggressive #And not let his opponent out of his 'range' #Also give him a neat little scene where they're grappling next to Black's dam project where it's super muddy #And Jay is like 'YOU WANT TO PLAY DIRTY? LETS GET FILTHY' and dunks Owl's face down into the mud #Because Jay can fight without his sight but Owl doesn't know how to continue while there's stinging gunk in his eyes and nose #I like thinking about what I'm going to do for BB!Jay's matches because his fighting style is really fun to write #1. Be aggressive and proactive 2. Don't let them out of range 3. SCARE THEM #From the Mud Match he learns that the best way to end a fight quickly is to absolutely terrify them #Because they're usually not expecting the fight to be difficult nor are they expecting to feel like theyre in danger #So if you surprise them it breaks their willpower real fast #And as he gains a reputation for brutality he faces less opponents until he's practically known as the Cleric Without Mercy #Bone babble

[poisonousquinzel]

"harley quinn's never had a good design in the last deca-!" WRONG dropkicks you through a brick wall

#dw i do plan to make an actual entire post about her best looks cause i stg #none of these people have ever picked up something with harley in the past 20 years #i love her jester suit sm but fuck do some of these people make it hard cause theyre just so stupid #and wrong #cant be me tho<3333 #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #dc comics #''omg but her hair“ SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP #let her be goofy and have fun colored hair ffs 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪 #sometimes the hair color you want isn't really gonna go with most of your outfits #but having colorful hair is fun!! so who cares! #she could dye all her hair crystal blue with orange highlights and damnit ill still support her #everyone understands the Post Breakup Messing With Your Hair phase but get so bent outta shape that she wants to keep her hair #how it is and how she decided to have it dyed after fully ending things with him. #genuinely #some of yall just haven't had the experience of dying your hair unnatural colors multiple times over the years. #cause yea sometimes your hair is just not gonna be a perfectly crafted match unless you like solely wear a single color #like if someone dyes their hair blue are they just not allowed to wear stuff that doesnt directly go with the hair color? cause thats stupid

[queenerdloser]

reading baldur's gate fic is so funny to me sometimes because almost every single tav i've read is like. a nerd. awkward. stuck in a library/commune/forest and doesn't know How To Do People. combat unready. a wee paper slip of a person. self-doubting and uncertain.

whereas i am out here with my bard who dumped all her stats in charisma and perception and therefore is no longer able to fail a persuasion check. and my personal backstory for her is that she's an insanely well known frontman for a rock band in baldur's gate so literally everyone they meet knows who she is. nonstop flirt. clocks manipulation left and right because seeing through performances is like half of her skillset. oh yeah. and she can fucking oneshot you by being mean in your direction.

#all tavs are created equal obvs but if you are not making your tav so op it's funny what is the point #i wrote some quick drabbles bc as always im irked by the way i cant tailor responses in rpg to match my characterization #and like. the funniest scene i have is when they go to the grove and literally EVERYONE there knows who she is. #it's like. if fucking beyonce picked up a rapier and a group of raggedy ass nobodies and said Let's Fucking Go #also making astarion have NO clue who she is was deeply funny to me. that old man doesnt listen to hip young music #he's too busy being traumatized and gay #bg3 #im truly not being mean i love the awkward tavs too #it's just so very far from how i characterize my own i have to laugh #that said i want to do a durge run & HIM i plan to make awkward and uncertain #this rockstar persona all came about bc i want a canon reason to give her purple hair btw #and to dress her in slutty little shirts with tit windows #me playing bg3 as a dress up romance game as god intended #im saving the astarion romance for my durge run but they WILL be best friends. and yes. she falls for gale of all people

[rahorak]

Whatever had lead them to this point, Leona no longer remembered. All she knew was the sharp sound of steel upon steel, colliding in countless strikes, and the adrenaline rushing through her veins. Coming here, she had made peace with the fact that only one of them would walk back out ━ and the metallic taste in her mouth spoke to the likely outcome of the evening. Still, she would fight to the last.

Diana was a formidable foe, and she deserved nothing less.

The first arrow shot past her faster than she could catch on to what it was. Only once a couple more shone gold in the sunset rays did she realize what was happening ; anger quickly boiling within her chest. A few of her Ra’horak warriors still took it upon themselves to hunt Lunari, despite Leona's orders to refrain. From behind her back she heard a muted ❝ Volley! ❞

She didn't need any further warning, charging towards Diana once more but this time with her shield pushing forward instead of her sword. She made no impact upon the other Aspect either, instead raising her shield above both of their heads as the archers let fly their arrows, seemingly uncaring about whether she'd be met with a blade to the gut or not.

❝ Get down, ❞ she urged the other woman, before gritting her teeth in a pained expression as an arrow pieced her leg, and another pair her back. More blood soon welled up behind her teeth, as she stood leaned over Diana protectively, shield held high as if that was her only priority right then. Maybe it was.

The edges of her eyes softened just a tad, brows furrowing as she finally met her former friend's eyes. ❝ Diana . . . ❞

➤ ㅤ@lun4ri

#❛ ✧. ic: general ⊱ hold the last burning ember‚ let us never surrender. #❛ ✧. verse: main ⊱ let the storm rage‚ baptize me in a river of fire. #❛ ✧. lun4ri: diana ⊱ i’ve sailed all the ocean‚ to find a love like yours. #lun4ri #33. No Pain That I Won't Go Through #ok so a few things. 1.) PLEASE do not feel like u have to match length - i wanted to set the scene and got carried away. #i promise i'll be okay with any length that u find comfy!! :> #2.) i hope this is okay for a thread. i'm a lil unsure but i got hit with the idea and yeah!! lmk if i need to change it #3.) i left it up to u to decide if diana took any damage and how much from arrows and whatnot!! go wild my pal #i'm rusty as all hell with leona so i'm sorry if it's not the best qq #but yeah have the girlies fighting. about what? clearly who ate the last cookie. #MWAH!!

[probayern]

damn i'm realizing that i've really made it basically impossible for myself to watch a whole bayern match until. october. do i hate myself subconsciously or something

#i COULD watch next weekend's but i wish it weren't the topspiel #because my best friend is visiting so i'd feel bad being like... let's stay at home until 1:30 because i want to watch football #but maybe he'll want to watch or go on a run or something. we'll see #and i have therapy on fridays so i'll miss the first half of the leverkusen game #unless i move therapy which i might bc i REALLY want to see how we do against leverkusen #then i'm on a plane during the bochum match :( #and on a road trip w my family for the whole of the next week #so definitely missing the first pokal match bc i'll be hiking in the mountains somewhere #possibly i could watch leipzig in the car IF there's reception #oh fuck and then i'm at a wedding the weekend after so i'll also be in a car during freiburg #fuck me i will not be able to normally watch a bayern match until october 21 😭 #bc the ucl matches are also always inconvenient lol #i hate when they always make us the sunday game or the topspiel let us play the early saturday kickoff! #anyway. this is way too much detail about my life. i'm just complaining #bella things

[ammaterasu]

this is the image that made me confirm my nephew is colour blind btw

#just happened today yooo lol he would always say things that would make me ???? #but this was the nail on the coffin for me #we were trying to colour match his jacket's colour and im picking colours around the green spectrum #and my nephew picks a maroon fully serious and i go ???? ok lets take the test and get this over with finally #and sure enough we did the test multiple times and it consistently confirmed he's green deficient #the results were always 100% blue / 0% green / 87% red #now maybe not the best way to break the news to him idk #he read the results that had the word colour /blind/ in it and the word blind really held a stigma for him #so just kept trying to be normal about :)) but yea #Kakashi ftw lol #hes 7btwww and ive had a suspicion that he saw things differently since well forever #but yea today was when i realized wait lets do an online test

[miabrown007]

mal in the grishaverse is to alina what jacob in twilight has been to bella. in this essay i'll...

#okay so in twilight jacob is like bella it's unnatural that edward is alive he should have been dead long ago. and if he was and he didn't #meddle with natura and the timeline i would be the one for you in our timeline. but he's here because he's extra special and that makes me #obsolete. because like alina and mal matched until they were both common and not special but now alina is a summoner and #she's the specialest of special girls and mal is throwing a tempter tantrum over that right #and they are like. they should be best friends and nothing more. #anyway that was point A #I'm over not one not two but three glasses of wine but even like this I know that one point justification belongs in my friends DMs not #an essay so let me present point B #so he's like the firebird right (he just circled her hand where the last amplifier would go and they felt weird #incredible foreshadowing btw) so like he belongs to her but only part of her belongs to him and that's very jacob vibes with all the #renesmee business. and also mal is just. so desperate to define himself by what he is to alina like he expects the answer to his own #identity crisis that is the consequence of his own actions (deserting literally no one asked that of him) from her #like the only way he thinks about defining himself is in relation to her . and like yeah ig they are teenagers and 'in love' or whatever #(they have zero chemistry while the darkling and nikolai are constantly standing next to alina and it works but ig I digress) #so i'm just constantly being told and they are in love and want a simple life (and that's the very thing that made me side with Gale instead #of Peeta back when so I'm probably primed to not want that for characters) but idk I just don't see it that they'd make such a good pair #anyway I guess this is a Mal hate post and I'm dragging the moder YA lit's each and every love interest into this 'analysis' #blueberry wine is excellent by the way would recommend #miaing

[lynne-monstr]

I am obsessed with recontextualizing that scene in the tka novel, where huang shaotian is helping ye xiu and they battle the tyranny guild in a private arena. huang shaotian is using flowing tree and zhang xinjie is there fighting too.

everything is exactly the same except huang shaotian and zhang xinjie are best friends.

#it's so funny okay #hst laughing hysterically to himself because he's fooling zxj #zxj staring intently at his screen like the lady meme with the math #trying to determine the probability that this swordsman is actually hst fucking with him #vs the probability that hst is able to keep up the ruse for this long #after the match zxj probably texts him #doesn't ask a about the match at all #he's just feeling hst out. still trying to determine if the swordsman is him #hst is cackling #he loves this game #anyway #they're besties your honor #(for the next 10 years hst won't let it go. #'hey hey hey remember when i fought you and i beat you and you didn't even know it was me. that was the BEST.') #huang shaotian #zhang xinjie #friendgenda #the king's avatar ramblings

[dragqueenpentheus]

ough

#just finiahed reading haunting of hill house and have been crying so hard for a half hour i still thibk i might throw up #FOR SOME REASON AFTER SEEING HOW MUCH THEY CHANGED FOR THE SHOW I WAS STILL GUT PUNCHED WITH THE CHOICE THEY DID DECIDE TO KEEP. AND #ITS #YEAH #5stars easy one of the best books ive read ever let alone this year jesus #nel is going to stay in hill house and my heart in ways that are so new and devistating meeting her a second time #i gotta buy a beautiful copy of this book #and then also a cheap one to draw and write and highlight all over #FULL sobs. i have put the book down and cant bring myself to hit the return button for the library because #she. she just wanted to be seen and wanted andD I. CANT CONTRIBUTE TO THE PEOPLE WHO TOLD HER TO LEAVE. NOT YET. #watch me get matching stone lion tattoos for her #jessssus this was a hell of a thing #the show was hard this one was somehow harder #both stunning. obv. #god im gunna have to rewatch and rip myself apart w the easter eggs wont i #later. not yet. #if i think about them being her literal family members too hard my eyeballs will burst out of my head #irl #personal #god the choice to make luke her twin and theo her older sister is going to chew my up inside forever #mike i have several thousand questions would u like to sit down and discuss

[lecliss]

OO has me in a fucking vice grip with the urge to lunge at Seph's throat!!!!!!! I can't fucking believe he convinced Kadaj to join him!!!!!! I'm gonna go fucking feral!!!! Leave my sonboy alone!!!!! He has no free will!!! He keeps being used for what Jenova wants cuz of the cells and he keeps being used by Seph as a remnant!!! Daj can never truly have something of his own accord cuz of the very meaning of his existence!!!!! He can never be an individual cuz of them, but without them he wouldn't exist!!!! LET HIM BE HIS OWN PERSON!!!!

And to top it off, Team Ninja dangles a Loz and Yazoo tease in my face after I just said I need Kadaj to have his real brothers back!!!! FUCK!!!! I FUCKING HATE FINAL FANTASY!!!!!!!

#i love kaien trying to help even tho this has nothing to do with him. thank you grandpa 🥺 #kadaj and repliku would be a match made in heaven. i want them to talk and go on a murder spree for funsies together #im gonna kill seph so fucking hard. i hate it here!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #at least now i know why kadaj and seymour team up to be ducklings to weiss. tho im not caught up to know how/why they leave seph yet #im just. im gonna die man. im so happy OO added kadaj and gave him so much development and i love that the game takes characters seriously #but god. do they have to keep tormenting MY FUCKING SON!?!?!?! #LET HIM RETURN TO HIS NEW MOM AND DAD (zack and aerith)!!!! GIVE HIM HIS LITTLE BROTHERS BACK!!!! GIVE HIM FUCKING FREE WILL!!!! FUCK!!!!! #its such a good time to be so abnormal about a 2005 one off sequel movie villain. genuinely. it just hurts at the same time #i also like how everyone's fine with kadaj and is even trying to help him cuz despite being morally gray. at least hes against seph. #so hes a good kid in their books 🥺 #brb gonna go speedrun the og 7 real quick so i can beat seph's ass in the name of my best boy #also when we get loz and yazoo i wonder if theyll be a joint unit like in brave exvius of if theyll be seperate but released back to back #like reno and rude 🤔 #i was expecting sonon or nero next but i do think they wont come until after part 2. while i want genesis most then. i would actually rather #have the baby bro duo if it means they have a real chance of getting in. i didnt actually believe it would be possible. but no it looks real

[littlebirdy0301]

I am newly single and already have caught feelings for someone, debating if that’s a bit awful or not lmao

#To be fair I’ve known things with the then-boyf weren’t going well for a Very Long Time #We love each other so much but just aren’t compatible as a couple anymore #So I think I started grieving our relationship a long time ago #And dealt with the heartbreak a little at a time over a long period of time #Honestly the biggest things that made me want to keep trying were the family & beautiful future that we talked about having together- #And the fear of losing him as a friend because I have a hard time staying close with friends #But over time I’ve let go of the potential future we would’ve had. And now I can officially confirm that we’ll stay best friends #The last giant chunk of our relationship was already just a very strong platonic friendship #So all that’s changing is the label and any romantic expectations that weren’t matching up #Our needs and wants were too far apart for either of us to be happy or comfortable meeting in the middle #So yeah I knew the relationship was ending long before I accepted it #And in the last few weeks I recognized I was getting feelings for a very charming classmate in our costuming class #I just didn’t know if it was genuine feelings or me missing having romantic aspects in my relationship & projecting those feelings #But now I do think I’m into him #He’s just so darn charming #The thing that really pushed it was when another classmate was sad about the guy she was talking to ghosting her- #And we were all comforting her saying she deserved better & all that #And he had a response that was just so kindhearted and genuine #At the time it just felt on the same level of when I have a crush on a fictional character #Like “oh I just think they’re neat :)” and not meaning anything irl #I’m a cereal monogamist. I would never ever think about anything happening while in a relationship #But now I’m not in a relationship and that admiration for him are still there #And his smile can light a gosh darn room I swear #We smile at each other whenever we pass by & make eye contact n when he smiled and waved at me I thought “fuck I do like him huh” #So yeah that was today #But it feels way too soon after literally just getting out of a 3 year relationship #But I would love to platonically hang out with him and get to know each other #I feel like I’m supposed to be single for awhile #Even though I’ve mentally done all my mourning of that relationship #But it didn’t actually end until very recently

[todayisafridaynight]

mine WOULD be the justice arcana. if you even care or anything.

#snap chats #LISTEN SOMEONE JOKED ABOUT IT ON MY INITAL POST BUT LIKE #I HAD ALREADY THOUGHT HE'D BE JUSTICE CAUSE IT'S JUST FITTING IN EVERY SENSE LMAOOOO #i just keep thinkin bout it cause it just fits so well #brunette-with-parental-difficulties-and-a-stoic-personality-who-needs-the-protagonists-help-to-be-at-peace-with-themselves gang rise up #'help' he beats the shit out of mine but listen. you can shoot akechi on a boat LMAO #have your duel in the metaverse w/e i'm getting off topic #seriously though the thing is 'justice' is a part of his character #more so 'justice' in the sense of lashing out against opposition to daigo #'justice' in enacting punishment on others who he's deemed have done wrong in one way or another #and then of course he inevitably has to face justice for his own actions which he does without hesitation #as he interprets that as 'the best' course of action and proper atonement #justice also goes more into pursuing The Truth wherein mine's truth is learning about the true value of bonds with others #see typing that just SOUNDS like a persona villain man fuck off LMAOO #see i wasnt going to type a proper essay but i kinda want to.... the worms are festering on my brain.... #UGH SEE NOW I WANNA WRITE UP SOMETHING PROPER CAUSE I FEEL LIKE I AINT SAYIN WHAT I WANNA SAY HOW I WANNA SAY IT #like UGH this is why i like doing the persona arcana shit cause like #when you find a match you can REALLY find a match and its just fun exploring how well it fits #ima stop now tho ill go be normal now. and by that i mean rummage around my kitchen and make like. breaded chicken at 8PM #i dont even eat at night but i also cant just let that go to waste it wont be good if i leave it in the fridge overnight #ok whatever this post is everywhere. these TAGS are everywhere my mistake #thats always what i mean though like 'the post' is just like. The Title yk what i mean #the REAL meat's in the tags. because i'm deranged #i don't know why it's more comforting to type in the tags it just is. it's like Extra Bits for the post or whatever idk #ok im done now fr bye #send me more arcana shit if you want because like i said This Shit Gets Fun

[radmista]

I need white people to shut the fuck forever about how scars form and heal, and how they "aren't that bad looking" when talking to dark skinned people

Yeah a white scar doesn't look that bad or obvious on your white ass skin, but when I'm multiple shades darker than you a bold white scar IS PRETTY FUCKING OBVIOUS

#supremely pissed at the advice I've been given by my white friends #i was treating my wound to the best of my knowledge to ensure i had minimal scaring (bc its in an area i want tattooed in the future) #and then they go and give me advice and are like and even if it scars it should be fine it'll fade and then you wont notice it! #like no you dipshits. it fades on YOUR skin because you're white and a white scar eventually bleeds into the background of your skin #since i started following their advice you can see an obvious demarcation in my wound healing from thin minimal dark scar to now a wider #white and stretched scar #im so unbelievably angry rn that i let them convince me otherwise #i dont mind having scars this isn't a beauty thing. its a practical thing. yeah ik you can get tattoos over scars if you pay good money #but shocker i didnt want to have to pay more money than I would have had my cut healed properly #like man oh man you'd think id know how deep wounds heal on dark skin after having it all my life and seeing how my parents wounds healed #also you can lighten dark marks on skin like scars or those fade on my skin. giant white scar tissue doesnt darken to match my skin #so believe it or not i planned and thought about this in depth. im just so angry i let them change my mind and now theres nothing i can do

[trollbreak]

None of my silverfin folks are Good, per se- they kill and maim and indulge killing and hurting and a number of them eat that which remains, in the right context. But also they’re friends, u see, and they can be so kind in spite of that. Given the right circumstances.

#lays here and thinks about marrow holding dexter so close and hesitating to let anyone but peipre close #thinks about how peipre does her best to sit and comfort someone that’s too distressed in the area- a casino can be overwhelming after all. #thinks about how phenga holds peipre and yarrow in her arms like she can smooth away the harsh edges of the world. even for just a moment #phenga going to Orion as he gets off work. taking his arm in her own and guiding xem in the late hours of the morning to eat and then to a #room. he doesn’t know her name but that’s the game of it. but somewhere along the line it became more than just a game. she’s so so very in #love with that teal and anybody that sees them at dinner can see it #silverfin putting new rules into place the instant they hear about how marrow almost got killed. it takes a while to work out the kinks in #the new routine but they saw the lines under phenga’s eyes in the nights after and they saw how peipre’s hands shook and they may not be #able to do much but they have to do something to try and keep it from happening again. #yarrow pulling silverfin aside to tell them that she saw their descendant. that she didn’t meet him very well but he exists. that she met #his captain and he’s okay. that silverfin didn’t condemn some poor grub by being in love #peipre leaning to just rest her arm agains marrow’s when he starts getting a bit too tense. a small reminder that she’s here- that if #everything goes wrong he doesn’t have to take it on alone. and sometimes that light contact is enough. #peipre giving dexter a hug and squeezing him tight for a moment. because as much as she tries to prepare there are some things she’s not #sure quite how to say. and maybe if she tries hard enough she can show him anyhow. #yarrow pulling peipre away from work when things start to get to her too much. making her take a moment to just let herself breathe. often #yarrow matches her breathing until she’s calmed down because peipre pats more attention to someone else than herself in times like that #lays facedown on the floor thinking abt these bitches being nice #silverfin casino #peipre #peipre charme #gotta go add that to all her posts sometime #marrow dahlia #khalia yarrow #dibsym argent #silverfin #miss #phenga arionn #Orion pulsar

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[mad-hunts]

｡゜(｀Д´)゜｡ ( go crazy hehe )

miserable. absolutely miserable is the only way that barton could describe what he was feeling right now. and yet, that didn't even seem to begin to cover the kind of horror that was in his dream at the same time. or, well, perhaps calling it a nightmare would be more appropriate. what he was seeing, or picturing in his head more like, felt so realistic that it seemed as if he'd somehow been brought back to that moment in time at first; even though that would be logically impossible. the moment in question unearthed a part of barton that he'd tried so hard to tuck away during his daily life, but was always there, waiting for some sort of catalyst so it could properly break free from the confines of his mind. it was the part of him that felt broken.

from the moment he saw the light streaming out from beside him between the slats of the closet he had hidden in at the time and the sounds of angry, almost manic shouting coming from wesley, his father... barton knew where this was going. there would be crashes in the house after that, as if wesley had become so filled with red-hot rage, that he couldn't physically contain it. the blonde had never been the religious type, even as a child, but he remembered praying to himself while he sat in that dark and cramped closet that he wouldn't be caught by him. barton had just wanted to help his father by getting rid of that nasty stuff he used to drink as he used to consider it, or more specifically alochol, by hiding it all in some place he'd never find it.

but wesley didn't take it that way at all and now he was on the war-path to do something that would leave a permanent scar on barton. he could practically smell the foul stench coming off of him had made now whenever it happened once again, brought about by someone who was supposed to love him, through... the blonde suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder shake him awake and he jolted up in his seat then as if he was scared out of his wits. which, considering what he had just waken up from, was kind of understandable. one of the first things he was able to comprehend upon waking was that his whole body was shaking and he couldn't get it to stop. his pulse was thundering in his ears, too, adrenaline coursing through his veins with such a fervor that it was almost like it was always meant to do that. he was cold, also, but felt the distinct feeling of sweat clinging to his body.

was he even really here right now? barton looked around like he was expecting something to pop out at him, paranoia seemingly getting the best of him. there was something making it hard for him to see. it was tears, he soon realized, them falling down his cheeks freely while he still was feeling slightly suspicious that maybe that was the reality and what he'd just woken up to was fake. barton said nothing to the stranger that had woken him up at first, for he literally couldn't form the proper words to explain what exactly he was going through, hands covering the entire upper half of his face. the shaking of his body seemed like something that would not be going away anytime soon. so, barton just let it happen.

after a few moments spent in silence, he finally was able to face the stranger next to him, voice coming out slightly nasally and like he was out of breath, ❝ um... i, i'm sorry. this doesn't usually happen to me while i'm — at the office. ahh, how'd you get in here? there is supposed to be a receptionist in the front that you check in with, ❞ barton sniffled as he got up slightly unsteadily from his chair and let out a dry laugh at just how awkward this must've been for mya. she'd probably just come here to get checked out, then stumbled across this, ❝ just give me a minute, and i'll be right with you for whatever you need. whenever you came in here today, this is probably not at all what you were expecting on seeing, huh? ❞

another dry laugh at his own expense. god's, why did this have to happen to him?

#furiaei #alright... well i heard ' go crazy ' and the writer in me immediately went ' BET ' / j lol #no but seriously i hope this starter is alright with you! i don't want to make anyone uncomfy on here since i know that ab*se can be a very #triggering topic so just let me know if i need to change anything about this if you are and i will!! buttt yeah. i know this- #might be... more than a little sad to say the least though i tried my best to match the feeling of what it's like to wake up from a- #nightmare the best i could. so here we go as it's probablyyy only going to get more angsty from here #tw: mentions of child abuse. #tw: mentions of an very unhealthy family dynamic. #tw: nightmares.