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prythianpages · 3 months

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Lay All Your Love On Me | Cassian x Reader

summary: Cassian is your best friend and best friend’s don’t thirst after one another. Best friends don’t get jealous. Best friends also don’t fall in love with one another. But you did.

warnings: mild angst; smut at the end; basically, mutual jealousy

a/n: this was inspired by ABBA's song. I'm working on a series where I dedicate a song to each of the ACOTAR men and you can find the masterlist here. I feel like this is borderline crack at some points tbh and probably the longest one shot I've ever written. Also, the amount of times I've rewritten this is insane so I hope you like this final version ❤

Adrenaline courses through your veins. The wind becomes your companion, offering a resistance that you always find yourself craving. It caresses your skin, leaving a bittersweet ache. Running is the closest feeling to flying. Though your wings, tucked behind you, remain, they are rendered useless and forever will be. Those sick Illyrian males, paid off by your own brother, made sure of that.

Sometimes, you wish they would’ve just sloughed them off. An Illyrian with no wings is a tragedy but an Illyrian with useless wings is a devastating tragedy. A fate that, unfortunately, all Illyrian females have to endure.

Heated frustration surges within you, spurred on by the luminous blue hues radiating from the siphons encircling your wrists. You shake your head and take deep breaths because you can not let those triggering thoughts win. You can’t let them win. The primal thud of your heart urges you to push forward and–

“Fuck, marry, kill.”

“Cassian,” you nearly hiss, though the flutter in your chest betrays you.

“Come on,” he says, a grin playing on his lips as he matches your pace. “Me, Az, and Rhys. Go!”

You slow down your pace to shoot him a sidelong glance and pivot, turning to run the opposite direction. Heat rises to your cheeks. You blame it on your exercise.

“We played this last night.”

Undeterred, Cassian picks up his pace to stay ahead of you, running backwards with ease. “And you didn’t answer me.”

As you both rounded a corner, someone bumped into you. Your steps faltered slightly before you caught your own balance.

“Oops. Sorry, didn’t–”

The Illyrian male who collided with you didn’t even have time to finish his apology, as insincere as it was. Cassian shoved him, sending the male plummeting to the ground with a growl. You swear you hear him choke on dirt.

“Watch it, asshole.”

When Cassian turns back to you, you arch a brow at him and he gives you a nonchalant shrug. You both know that male intentionally bumped into you. As one of the few Illyrian females who has defied tradition and trained extensively, the disrespect constantly thrown at you is no surprise. Though you’re no longer fazed by it, you can’t say the same for Cassian.

His gaze softens and grin returns, the wind tousling his dark hair as he maintains his backward stride. “Now, where were we?”

“Fine,” you say with a huff.

It’s not in Cassian’s nature to give up. You’ve played this game multiple times, introduced by Mor, with the inner circle on drunken nights. You were always quick with your answers but not this time. Not when your options were three of your close friends and among them, there was one you secretly or maybe not so secretly harbored feelings for. That and the lack of liquid courage you usually have at your side when playing.

“Fuck Azriel.”

Cassian’s steps come to a stop and so do yours, albeit reluctantly. There’s a glint in his hazel eyes as he looks at you. “I’m going to tell him.”

“Go ahead,” you reply because you don’t care if the Shadowsingers knows. He’s the safest choice of them all and he wouldn’t let this stupid game get to his head unlike Cassian. “You know that’d be your answer too.”

Both you and Cassian share a look because you’re not wrong.

Then, you both are turning your heads to find the Shadowsinger. Azriel stands at the far end of the training grounds, engaged in the rhythmic lifting of weights. Shirtless. The distance between you two and him is vast, rendering any audible communication impossible. However, the subtle play of shadows around his ears catches your attention, and as if sensing your gazes, he turns, narrowing his eyes at both you and Cassian with an uncanny perceptiveness.

Caught red-handed, both you and Cassian turn your heads away. He looks at you again. “So,” he starts once more and you bite back the urge to groan. At this moment, you’re almost inclined to reveal that you’d like to do all three to the Illyrian male in front of you.

“Who will you be marrying? Me or Rhys?”

It’s as if he heard his name being called. Rhysand prods gently at the shields of your mind and when you allow him in, you know he relayed the same message to Cassian and Azriel. You both head over to the sparring grounds, where Azriel is already waiting for you. He throws a sword to you and then to Cassian.

Cassian wiggles his eyebrows at you suggestively and you slap his arm. He pinches your side in retaliation, a reminder that you’re not going to live this one down. He moves into position and you mirror him.

He lifts his sword, feigning a lunge that you counter with a swift parry. Your movements are both graceful and calculated, a testament to the years of training under his guidance. Meanwhile, Azriel circles around you both, a silent spectator.

Cassian’s strikes intensify, growing more precise every time. Your swords clash, ringing in the air. But despite your skill, Cassian is stronger, more experienced. Seizing an opportune moment, he lunges with a force that sends you stumbling backward. Your sword clatters to the ground as you find yourself seated on the training grounds.

"Did I serve?" Cassian smirks, offering a mock salute, his muscles flexing in a playful display. "Or did I serve?"

He twirls his sword with a flourish, unaware of the glare you shoot his way. With a determined huff, you gather yourself, reaching for your fallen weapon and swiftly rising to your feet. In a strategic move, you deliver a swift kick, sweeping Cassian off his feet and onto his back.

With a triumphant grin, you step forward, placing a boot on his chest to keep him on the ground. You press your weight on him teasingly, knowing that Azriel is not the only one watching you two anymore. Hazel eyes sparkle back at you with a mixture of pride and a subtle undertone, a hint of something more lingering beneath the surface, as your sword hovers just above his neck. It brings forth an unspoken tension between you both and if you hadn’t blinked, you wouldn’t have missed the way Cassian licks his lips as he looks up at you.

"You got served."

Cassian laughs as you drop your sword and lift your boot. You don’t bother to offer him a hand, wanting to bask in your victory as much as possible but much to your dismay, Azriel helps him up.

Thank you for humbling him.

You turn around to see Rhysand. His lips purse, suppressing his amusement. His eyes become unreadable as he dons his High Lord mask. A palpable aura of immense power radiates from him.

Beside him, stands another male, whose presence commands just as much attention as Rhysand. His skin is a rich brown and hair white. You’ve never met him before but you know who he is as Rhysand had informed you of his visit. It’s why you were conveniently training in Windhaven, despite your preference for the training grounds atop the House of Wind.

The three of you greet Rhysand first before bowing your heads in respect to the High Lord of the Summer Court.

“This is Cassian, general commander of my armies. This is y/n, one of our great Illyrian warriors and this is Azriel, my spymaster. They are all well equipped and are looking forward to working with your soldiers for the next two weeks.”

You’ve rarely traveled outside of the Night Court. You weren't a high fae like Mor or Rhysand so you couldn’t winnow and after the clipping of your wings, you couldn’t fly like Cassian or Azriel. So your friends were your main means of transportation and you were looking forward to working with High Lord Nostrus’s soldiers as it was a means for you to get to explore another one of Prythian’s lovely courts.

But now that you’re here, in their training grounds, you’re no longer looking forward to being here for the next two weeks.

Not when one particularly strikingly beautiful female soldier has set her eyes on Cassian and certainly not when there’s an unfamiliar burning resentment in your chest too strong to ignore. It flares every time her gaze or touch lingers too long. By the Cauldron, since when did every woman you see become a potential threat with Cassian? He is your friend.

A reminder that stings as much as the intensity of the burning feeling coursing through you. Though, you’ve never felt this way before, you realize that you’ve been more sensitive in anything Cassian these past couple of months–since starfall. It’s as if he casted a spell on you, one where you can only think about him. He’s your every waking thought and lingers as your final thought before sleep.

The feeling in your chest flares to a blazing fire when you overhear him praise the female soldier and the wooden sword splinters in your grasp, falling to the ground.

This is going to be a long two weeks.

“Are you jealous?” Azriel muses beside you.

“Me?” You say with a huff, kicking the evidence of the broken sword away. Of course it doesn’t go unnoticed by Azriel, the skilled spymaster. The corner of his lips quirk up but you insist. “Jealous? Never.”

You send an amused Azriel a glare before picking up another practice sword. Determined to not let your jealousy get in the way, you engage yourself in training the small group assigned to you. You were here for a reason and you’d give the soldiers under your command your all.

After a full afternoon of training, you were eager to clean the dirt and sweat off your skin. You were also eager to distance yourself as much from Cassian and that female before you did something you’d regret. Your bath worked wonders to ease every tense muscle. If you hadn’t been invited by High Lord Nostrus to dinner, you would’ve basked in the warmth of the water a little longer. The sound of waves crashing soothes you as you make your way to your bed, ruffling your damp hair with a towel.

Nestled adjacent to Cassian's and Azriel's quarters, your room stands vast and breathtaking. It’s also missing an entire wall. In its place, vines adorned with blooming dahlias weave along the room's edges, seamlessly bridging the gap between the interior and the great sea outdoors.

Your attention gravitates towards the bed, adorned in the softest silks, a sanctuary you can’t wait to sink into. Atop it rests a box, concealing an invitation to dinner and an outfit that differs greatly from your Illyrian leathers.

You find a dress. A pale blue masterpiece with a daring plunging neckline and high slits. You’ve never worn anything like it. The fabric is soft and weightless, its wispy texture feels like a gentle sea breeze caressing your skin with every step. You appreciate that it was backless to accommodate your wings.

Sitting down at the vanity, the jewelry that was in the box sparkles back up at you. You're touched by the High Lord’s gesture but you’re also wary of all his gifts. You settle on the most simplest of jewelry–diamond earrings and a sapphire necklace that reminds you of the siphons you wear. You have three in total but the one wrapped around your wrist is the only one you keep with you at all times. You save the other two for when you’re training or fighting to help you control your power.

As you step out of your room, Cassian and Azriel's eyes are drawn to you. You smile at them in greeting. Cassian's gaze lingers, a silent appreciation etched in every curve and contour he not so discreetly takes in. Warmth prickles at your skin, and an inexplicable spark ignites within your chest in response.

Azriel clears his throat, amused eyes dancing between you two. “Shall we?”

Cassian, as if emerging from a trance, regains his composure and grins at you. He extends his arm and you gratefully hook yours through his as he leads the way down the hall. You notice that he also switched his leathers into something more befitting the Summer court’s warmth. He wears dark navy linen pants that match Azriel’s but unlike the dark shirt the Shadowsinger wears, he chose a lighter colored one. The fabric is nearly see through, offering a teasing peek at the tattoos embellishing his chest and the defined muscles that lie beneath.

You feel his gaze on you as you walk beside him that prompts you to look up at him in question. He takes a moment to respond and finally with a sheepish smile says, “you smell nice.”

“Oh, thanks. I used coconut soap that was left in my bathroom,” you respond, a tinge of confusion and subtle disappointment coloring your words. At least it was an actual compliment unlike last starfall when all he said was “you look different.” Yet, it embarrassingly still had the same effect, leaving you blushing.

Azriel, walking behind you, can't help but let out a snort. Idiots, he thinks to himself. His shadows agree.

There’s a wide assortment of delicious food laid out for you all. Your lips quirk up when you catch the way Cassian’s eyes light up at the sight. You take the seat next to him and Azriel the seat across from you. High Lord Nostrus sits at the head of the table, gesturing for you all to dive in. With a snap of his fingers, the golden chalices in front of you fill with a sweet wine.

“I appreciate you all for your efforts in helping strengthen my armies.”

Cassian’s mouth was full of food and Azriel brought his drink to his lips, not keen on the idea of making small talk with the High Lord. Resisting the urge to roll your eyes at your male companions, you muster a smile and turn to Nostrus instead.

“I believe we should be the ones thanking you for being such a gracious host. As emissaries of our esteemed High Lord, it is our sincere desire that our efforts not only strengthen your armies but also fortify the bonds of alliance between the courts of Summer and Night.”

“Of course.” Nostrus's turquoise eyes study you, and you can feel the weight of his gaze settling on your wings. The instinct to protectively tuck them in tighter behind you flares, a vulnerable self-consciousness settling in. "From my understanding, it is not common for an Illyrian female to train and fight. Am I right?"

“Yes, you are correct. But I am working closely with my High Lord to rectify that.”

Cassian, sensing your unease, swallows his food, and a reassuring hand finds its place on your thigh, offering a comforting squeeze. You're familiar with Cassian's expressive and caring nature through touch. However, his simple and sweet gestures, such as the way he’s touching your thigh right now, sends your heart racing instead.

"I watched you from afar this afternoon. You took down some of my best soldiers with ease," Nostrus remarks, and a gentle breeze from the nearby sea courses through the open dining room, sending a shudder through your wings. His perceptive eyes catch the movement. "Your wings are different."

The hand on your thigh tightens, mirroring the constriction in your throat.

"High Lord–" Cassian begins, a subtle warning threaded through his otherwise light tone.

Nostrus raises his hand. "I mean no harm. Truly."

His gaze remains fixed on you as he continues, "As you see, we pride ourselves on every soldier, regardless of gender. Anyone who swears loyalty to this court is held in great esteem. I protect them as much as they would protect my court. While I do not know your story, I now know your worth, and if the Night Court is not able to appreciate you, then–"

"The Night Court appreciates her just fine," Cassian interrupts, a protective edge slicing through his words. He hates Nostrus’s accusatory tone and ignores the warning look Azriel sends his way.

You place a hand over Cassian’s but keep your eyes on Nostrus. “You flatter me, High Lord,” you manage to say with a smile. “Though my scars may say otherwise, I can assure you that my High Lord treats me well. In fact, High Lord Rhysand is working on banning the practice of clipping wings so our future generations will not know the horrors enacted under previous rulers…”

Your wings, draped behind you, bear the burden of your trauma–the betrayal of your brother. You hate how sensitive you are at the mere mention of them. You wipe hastily at your eyes. Cassian, who refused to part ways with you at your door, stands silently beside you. Your haunting memories store themselves back into the depths of your mind as his movements catch your attention. It’s strange but comforting, the way he always knows when you don’t want to talk and are in need of a distraction instead.

But your cheeks heat up because you’re unsure if this distraction is a good idea. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like I’m doing?” Cassian grins at you as he continues stripping himself of his clothes. “I’m going for a swim.”

He winks at you as he kicks his pants off, leaving him in only his boxer briefs that are clinging to him in a way that makes your mouth nearly water. You pull your gaze away, hating the way your mind wants to drift to devious thoughts because you know what lies underneath. You’ve seen him in his full glory far too many times than you’d like to admit–each one of them on accident.

Your heart flutters madly against the fragile cage of your chest and you press a hand against it as if that would do anything to ease your racing heart. Because Cassian is your best friend and best friend’s don’t thirst after one another. Best friends also don’t fall in love with one another.

But you did.

He was your mentor before he became your friend and each passing year since then seemed to usher in a quiet surrender. Almost as if every step was an unspoken agreement with your heart, blurring in between the fine line of friendship and something else. You navigated the staircase of emotions, unaware, until you stood near the bottom. Instead of gracefully reaching the last step, the sudden realization of your feelings felt like a forceful tumble, leaving you to hit the ground and boy did you hit it hard.

The sound of a joyful splash resonates through the air, harmonizing with the playful melody of droplets that dance against your bare legs. You shoot a glare Cassian’s way, even though you didn’t mind, and you can’t bring yourself to care when he flicks a middle finger at you in response. You’re far too used to them to be bothered. Realizing that the water felt nice and warm, you nestle yourself on the edge of the floor. You hike your dress up and then dip your legs into the soothing waters.

Bathed in the ethereal glow of moonlight, Cassian floats on his back, allowing his wings to carry him through the soft waves. Your gaze lingers on him, tracing the moonlit contours of his muscles. Another splash pulls you out of your trance and this time, the droplets reach the thin fabric of your dress.

“Come on, bibble!” Cassian exclaims.

Your glare returns, irritation flickering in your eyes. “I told you to stop calling me that!”

His grin widens, undeterred. “Won’t you join me?”

You respond with a swift kick, creating a splash that dances towards him. Regret settles in immediately as his eyes light up in the moonlight, holding mischief, as he swims toward you.

“Bibble’,” he nearly purrs, somehow making the stupid nickname sound downright sinful. He braces his hands on either side of you, the muscles of his arms flexing. His chest brushes against your legs and all you can think about is how nice he feels so close to you. “Why won’t you join me?”

You’re looking anywhere but him. “I don’t feel like it.”

Cassian hums, his thoughtful gaze lingering for a moment longer than you'd expect. You release a breath you didn't realize you were holding when he turns his head. It’s a short lived moment of relief because in a heartbeat, he pulls your legs from underneath you and drags you into the water with him. You’re splashing and writhing and like an idiot, your mouth opens in panic.

Cassian's strong arms swiftly encircle you, pulling you up from the water's depths. As you resurface, you're coughing and sputtering, water droplets cascading down your face. He chuckles while you hit his chest.

"I can't swim, you idiot!"

"Relax," Cassian laughs, his hands holding your hips firmly to keep you afloat with him. His expression, though soft, morphs into something more serious. "I’ve got you. I always will.”

His words unrattle something deep within you and you can’t move, can’t think properly. You can only feel. Your mind goes blank and eyes grow distant as you’re brought back to the night he first said those words. Right after he found you laying in a pool of your own blood. It was the night your wings were clipped. A hand reaches out to caress your face and his fingers rest on your chin, directing your focus to him.

Tears threaten the corners of your eyes. The desire to avert your gaze is strong, but he doesn't permit it. He needs you to answer him. "You know that, right?"

A breath catches in your throat before you finally manage to whisper, "Yeah."

Cassian's lips form a rare, softer smile. He draws you closer until you can feel his breath, sense his warmth. He kisses your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment longer and when he pulls away, he rests his forehead against yours. A thumb brushes gently against your cheek. His gaze dips to your lips and absentmindedly, his thumb slowly traces along your bottom lip. There’s a faraway look in his eyes as he’s lost in contemplation.

Your heart is roaring in your ears and there’s something singing madly in your chest because he’s never touched you like this before. Tell him. Your breath is shaky when you speak. "Cas?"

He holds his gaze to your lips, allowing the soft rocking of a wave to push him closer to you. "Yes?"

Suddenly, the night sky bursts into a kaleidoscope of colors. The unexpected spectacle and the resonating boom startles you, and on instinct, you find refuge in the safety of Cassian's embrace. If he weren’t caught up in the heat of the moment, he would’ve teased you for the way you are clinging madly onto him, legs and arms wrapped tightly around him.

"Wow," you exhale, the initial shock giving way to a relaxed sense of awe.

The fireworks continue to bloom overhead, their vibrant hues reflecting in your wonderstruck eyes. You gradually unwrap your legs from around Cassian, and your arms loosen their hold around his neck. Yet, he maintains a firm grip on your hips.

“Beautiful.”

You hum in agreement, and when you turn back to Cassian, you realize his gaze has never wavered from you throughout the entire display. "What were you going to say?"

"What?"

"What were you going to say earlier…"

"Oh, that," you stammer, panic subtly seeping in, eyebrows furrowing slightly. The courage you once possessed to voice your feelings has dissipated in the wake of the unexpected interruption. “Um, can you teach me how to swim?”

His gaze lingers on you. It’s as if he knows those were not the words you were going to say but he doesn’t push you on it. “Sure,” he says instead and clears his throat, looking away. “But maybe another night?”

“Why?”

You regret your question as soon as you ask it, eyes widening when you feel why. There’s something hard poking at your stomach. You freeze up, not knowing what to do, inadvertently making matters worse. Though the night is dark, the moon glows bright enough for you both to notice your peaked nipples as the thin light fabric of your dress is completely see through in the water.

“Stop staring!” You cry out, using one of your hands to splash water onto him. If he weren’t your lifeline, the only thing keeping you afloat in these deep waters, you would’ve shoved him under water.

Cassian snaps out of it with a flinch, blinking away the salty droplets of water that splashed into his eyes. “I was looking respectfully!”

“Respectfully my ass!”

“I mean, I could look at that too.”

You shoot him a glare, hating the way his words have your insides in a frenzy. He doesn’t seem to care about his obvious arousal poking at you and you don’t have it in you to tease him as you’re desperately trying to hide yours, praying that the vast sea surrounding you is enough to mask your scent. Your hands are grasping out for the vines that run along the edge of the tiles as soon as you can reach them, using them to guide you back into the safety of your room.

You pause before you hoist yourself back up, turning to look at a clearly amused Cassian.

“Turn around.”

“Oh, come on,” he chuckles but saves you further embarrassment by doing as you asked. You wait until his back is fully turned to you, wings flaring out behind him and spraying you with sea water on purpose, to hoist yourself up into your room. Once you’re on your feet, you pull at one of the many sheets on your bed, wrapping it snug around your exposed body.

“You can turn back around now.”

“You can look as much as you want, bibble.” He tells you though your gaze remains fixed on the seashell painting on one of your walls. Your mind is racing and if he asked you what colors were on the painting, you would fail miserably in answering him. “Disrespectfully too.”

You can hear his agonizingly slow footsteps as he makes his way to the door, not bothering to pick up the clothes he left sprawled all over your floor. “Get out,” you nearly growl at him, not caring anymore, as you turn around and shove at his back. Because if he doesn’t leave soon, you’re sure you’ll lose your self control.

“Mother’s tits, y/n! I’m going!” He exclaims in protest with a grin evident in his tone.

“Well, go faster!” You huff at him, hands still pressing against his back. “I’m.Tired.”

Tired of holding back your emotions, more like it. As soon as he steps out your door, you’re slamming it shut before he can catch a glimpse of your flustered face.

“Sweet dreams, bibble.”

Leaning against the door, you take a moment to catch your breath as Cassian's deep laughter echoes through the halls. You close your eyes, attempting to rein in the whirlwind of emotions surging within you. It’s not the first time Cassian’s teased you and it won’t be the last and you’re certainly not the only one he flirts with. The female soldier from earlier being a prime example of that.

You know he means no harm by it. Yet, his teasing stings. Because you want it to be real, for him to mean every flirtatious gesture and word. You want him to like you and only you.

Nostrus's attempts to entice you into staying in his court become increasingly overt with each passing day. Every evening unveils a new gown adorned with matching jewelry and shoes. Precisely at the stroke of ten, the night sky ignites in a display of vibrant fireworks dedicated to the three of you but when you commented the red ones were your favorite, you note more shades of reds lighting up the night skies. Each morning, a charming arrangement of summer flowers graces your presence. Even the soldiers in your training group can't help but notice the High Lord's watchful gaze whenever he deigns to join them.

Azriel finds the spectacle amusing, always the silent observer to any unfolding drama. However, Cassian is less entertained. During your nightly debriefs with Rhysand, he consistently raises the issue and you’ve noticed that during training, he sticks closer to you.

None of you bring up the heated moment you shared on your first night in Summer. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen at all and you’re not surprised. While it meant something to you, you know it meant nothing to him.

The female soldier, Olianna, you reluctantly learned her name, is as persistent with him as Nostrus is to you. You’re nearing the end of your first week when the female soldier and a couple of others join your nightly dinner with Nostrus and tonight, in her ruby red dress, she looks devastatingly beautiful. She takes the seat beside Cassian. Your unassigned but assigned spot. You begrudgingly sit beside Azriel instead, who is quick to raise a brow at you.

“Shut up.”

“I didn’t say anything,” he replies and when you kick his leg under the table, there’s the faintest of a coy smile on his lips.

You barely even touch your plate. There’s a bitter taste in your mouth and it’s not from the food. Cassian has barely even looked at you, engrossed in what appears to be a hilarious conversation with Olianna. You’re thankful when Nostrus excuses you all from dinner, quick to rise from your seat.

“Y/N, may I have a word?” Nostrus calls to you with a smile and when Cassian’s head perks up, finally sparing you a second of his attention, he adds: “In private.”

As you make your way back to your room, after a pointless conversation with Nostrus, your steps come abruptly to a halt. Your heart quickens and stomach tightens as you spot Cassian and Olianna down the hall.

Olianna’s hands rest on Cassian’s arms as she looks up at him. Her back is pressed against the wall. He leans down to whisper something that you can’t discern from your distance. It has her giggling and the sound is like a painful stab to your heart. They’re so, so close. That familiar ache settles in your chest, pushing down on you so harshly you can barely breathe.

How desperately you wish to trade places with her and maybe that could’ve been you, if you had given in to his teasing the other night. While he’d give his body to you, you know his heart would not fall so easily such as the way yours did. Cassian is a true heartthrob, a man who effortlessly captivates the hearts of many but never the one to give his. Why would you be an exception?

You try to push away your unease but fail miserably when they walk further down the hall and disappear around a corner. Doubt begins to creep in, seeping into your bones with a terrifying chilling fear. Maybe, just maybe, there is something more between them and you had lost a battle only you were aware of fighting.

Tears burn at your eyes and as you hear the door shut behind him, you feel your heart shatter at the images that flood your mind. Of him kissing her, touching her and–Stop!

You’re running blindly to your room, too caught up in your emotions to realize your mistake. Azriel blinks at your sudden entrance, seated on his bed. However, the distress etched across your face propels him to throw his book aside and jump to his feet. Shadows flit towards you, brushing against your exposed skin and he lets out a small exhale in relief when they report no injuries.

"Should I get Cas?" Azriel offers, eyes widening slightly as concern etches its way onto his features.

Your hand reaches out, stopping him before he can leave the room. "No."

He looks at you helplessly. He’s seen you cry before but Cassian was always there in those moments. Yes, Azriel regards you as a good friend–you’ve trained with him for many years alongside Cassian. He’d happily tend to your physical injuries because it was something he was capable of but the depth of your current pain is something he is unsure how to navigate. Something only Cassian uniquely understands.

"Okay," Azriel says slowly, shifting his weight from one foot to another. "What do you need?"

Frustration colors your attempt to wipe away the tears, and a sniffle escapes you. You’ve never felt so small, so fragile and as Azriel watches you break in front of him, realization dawns on him. Something must’ve happened between you and Cassian and his mouth parts to ask but you beat him to it.

"I need you to teach me how to swim."

The next morning you can’t bring yourself to meet Cassian’s gaze. Images of him with Oliana flood your mind every time you cast a glance in his direction and the ache in your chest resurfaces. It’s irrational, you know. He’s not at fault for your feelings. After all, you’re just a friend to him. You have no claim to his affection, even though every fiber of your being yearns for it.

You are the problem.

When he reaches out, his hand lightly grasping your arm, you muster only a feeble greeting. You hear the concern in his voice as he asks what's wrong.

"Nothing," you reply, forcing a smile. "I'm just tired."

You feel the weight of his gaze burning into you as you head over to your group. He casts a glance toward Azriel in silent questioning but the Shadowsinger simply shakes his head.

The sun bathes Summer’s training grounds in a warm glow and sweat clings to your skin as you show one of your soldiers a delicate maneuver with your sword that Illyrians favor during battle.

As your gaze lifts with your sword, you catch a glimpse of Cassian and Oliana sparring. Your chest tightens when you can’t help but notice their proximity to one another. The sweet sound of her laughter follows shortly after and the tightening in your chest is replaced with a burning fire.

“I don’t think I’m doing it right. Can you teach me again?”

“Of course.”

Cassian's gaze briefly meets yours, and a sudden rush of emotion courses through you. You’re quickly averting your eyes, attempting to feign disinterest. You tell yourself you're no longer watching them, but deep down, your mind is painting vivid pictures, imprinting scenes of Cassian with her.

However, this time, it's not sadness that simmers within. It’s a burning anger and your siphons flare. Cassian is free to do whatever he pleases in his spare time but during training? When you’re working and glaringly right in front of you?

Olianna’s laughter rings out again, the sound mingling with the clash of steel. Another pang of envy stabs through your chest, sharper than the blade in your hand.

“Like this?”

“Yeah, you got it, sweetheart.”

Your blood runs cold, sending shivers down your spine yet, there’s an undeniable blaze burning fiercely within your chest. It’s a possessive fire, a primal instinct screaming “mine” in the depths of your very being. Why does she get a sweet nickname and you a stupid one? Why is he so gentle in training her when he was harsh with you?

“That’s it,” you hiss under your breath, looking back at your group. “I’m going to show you how a fight is won.”

Tightening your grip on your sword, you nearly stomp your way to Cassian. Azriel’s head perks up from where he stands, eyes widening for a fleeting moment as he catches the glow of your siphons. “Y/n, what are–”

“Stay out of it!” You exclaim, pointing your sword at him. The sharp blade teases at his throat and he falters. His shadows whisper to him in warning and he holds his hands up in surrender, catching something flickering in your eyes.

Cassian and Oliana turn their heads at the commotion. She instinctively takes a step behind Cassian and your jaw clenches at the sight. He doesn’t seem to notice it though, attention solely focused on you.

“What’s the matter, bibble?”

You point your sword at him. “You.”

“Me?” He responds, a bewildered expression crossing his face. However, he remains unfazed as your sword points directly at his chest.

“You’ve gone soft, General.” you tell him, inclining your head towards Oliana and you can’t bring yourself to care if your emotions seep out. The envy is coursing through you like an unrelenting fire. “How is she to hone in her skills when she spends most of her training laughing and batting her pretty eyelashes at you?”

Cassian lets out a chuckle. It’s been years since you’ve referred to him by his title. His hazel eyes take you in, sparkling at you with something you can’t discern. He can read the challenge in your eyes and when he finally spares a glance to the female behind him, he turns back to you. His fingers grasp at your blade carefully, lowering your sword so he can take a step forward.

“She’s not ready to be challenged.”

You smirk at him, standing your ground. “A soldier is never fully prepared for battle.”

Cassian takes another step forward and though your sword lowers further, your grip on the hilt tightens. “And a General knows when it’s best for their soldiers to refrain from entering the battlefield.”

You take pleasure in the way Oliana huffs out indignantly from behind him.

You arch an eyebrow at him in challenge. Deep down, you’re aware nothing good is going to come from this but your Illyrian blood craves an outlet for the pent-up emotions that have been brewing for many years.

“You fight me then,” you demand and you can feel the simmering fire between you intensifying. You welcome it, almost seeking the chaos it promises. "And don't you dare go soft on me."

His pupils flare and a sly smirk curls upon his lips. “I don’t think you can handle me.”

“Lay it all on me.”

Two blood rubies, sinister in their crimson glow, glisten back at you, creating a dance of hues that pulse and flicker with an inner fire. One for Cassian. One for you. Your heart sinks to your stomach and you want to cry.

This is all your doing. Your fault.

Cassian, however, does not regard the rubies sent from the Summer Court with the same gravity. "Might as well put these beauties to use. I’m sure it would look stunning on a necklace. Maybe, even a ring,” he quips as he picks his up, hazel eyes sparkling with mirth.

You immediately sense that nothing good is going to come from this–the same way you did before the two of you accidentally destroyed a building. He turns to you and gets down on one knee. There’s a mischievous grin playing on his lips as he looks up at you.

“Marry me?"

A rush of heat floods your face, and your eyes instinctively seek out Rhysand, finding him far from amused. He's fuming with a quiet rage, his gaze icy and piercing. You quickly avert your eyes, shifting your attention back to the Illyrian male now kneeling before you. You nudge his knee with your leg, ignoring the twinge of hurt at the expense of his joke.

"Get up, Cas.”

"Say yes.”

"Get up.”

“You think this is funny??”

You flinch at the sharpness of Rhysand’s tone and Cassian stands with a sigh. His hand brushes against yours but you don’t dare take it. You don’t deserve it. It’s only been hours since your abrupt return from Summer–since your heated fight sent an entire building crumbling into rubble. If Azriel hadn’t used his shadows to return you home immediately after, you’re not sure you’d be alive right now.

“I’m so sorry, Rhys,” you say, lowering your head and Rhysand’s gaze softens at the nervous fidgeting of your hands. “It’s all my fault.”

“No, it’s mine.” Cassian steps forward, hand resting on your waist to gently push you back behind him as he takes full responsibility. “I got caught up in the heat of the moment.”

“Cas, I’m the one who challenged you.”

He ignores you. “It was my blast that sent that building, as weak as it already was, to crumble down.”

Rhysand lets out a deep sigh. He leans back into his seat, fingers rubbing at his forehead at the images Azriel provides. He finds that you both are equally at fault. They’re complete wreck less idiots, Rhysand groans into the Shadowsinger’s mind.

I know. There’s a hint of amusement in Azriel’s response.

Running a hand down his face in exhaustion, Rhysand looks at both you and Cassian.

You stand there, still behind Cassian, anxious as you await your impending punishment and he can literally hear your mind racing without having to intrude. Meanwhile, Cassian, seemingly unfazed, hums a carefree tune to himself, earning an incredulous glance from you.

“Well I can kiss my alliance with the Summer Court goodbye but I will not have a High Lord from another court seeking vengeance on two of my closest friends. You each are going to write your most heartfelt apologies to Nostrus, beg if you must, and let us all pray to the Cauldron that he finds it in his heart to forgive you.”

Parchment, ink and quills appear at the desk before you. With a flick of his wrist, Rhysand uses his magic to bring forth two chairs, gesturing for you and Cassian to sit. “You two are not allowed to leave this room until those letters are finished.”

Rhysand then turns to Azriel. “I need you to watch them. Make sure they don’t destroy any of my buildings.”

A low, almost melodramatic groan escapes Azriel’s lips. “Why do I always have to babysit them?”

“Azriel.”

“Fine.”

Once Rhysand leaves, you slump into one of the chairs with a small sigh of relief. You pick up a quill, dipping it in ink and stare at the blank parchment. Cassian does the same. Azriel picks up a book from one of the shelves. He then seats himself at Rhysand’s chair, right across from you both.

“Please make this quick,” his voice almost pleads, eyes darting between you both.

“You write it for me then.” Cassian rips a piece of paper, crumbling it into a tiny ball before flicking it at his friend. Azriel rolls his eyes, his loyal shadows catching the piece of paper midair and sending it back to Cassian, hitting his forehead with a tiny “whoosh.”

Your eyebrows furrow in an attempt to focus, all the while trying to ignore the distracting bounce of Cassian's leg. Slowly but surely, you’re scribbling words onto the parchment and before you know it, you’re crafting the most sincere apology to High Lord Nostrus.

Cassian picks up on your deep concentration. He leans in closer, warm breath tickling your ear. “Whatcha writing there, bibble?”

“An apology,” you respond dryly, shooting him a sideways glance. You take note that his paper is still blank. “Something you should be doing too if you want us to make it to dinner.”

“I am. I’m just brainstorming,” he retorts in a ‘duh’ tone. “Let me see yours!”

You’re sliding your parchment away from his prying eyes. “No. Use your own brain!”

Ever the persistent one, Cassian leans in even closer, his head now practically resting on your shoulder as your hands hover over your paper, careful not to smear the fresh ink. “Come on, just a peek. I promise not to steal your most heartfelt words.”

With an exasperated sigh, you relent, allowing him a quick glimpse. His eyes are skimming through the words with an appreciative tilt of his head. “I like it. But maybe add a bit more details and drama, you know? Tug at his heartstrings a little more, he seemed to like you a lot.”

“We’re not trying to craft a masterpiece to win an award, Cassian,” you hiss at him, snatching your letter away from him.

“But you are trying to free yourself of a death sentence.” Azriel remarks, peering over his book at you as he reminds you that receiving a blood ruby from the Summer Court is not something to be taken lightly.

“See? Az gets it.” Cassian chuckles.

“Shut up and get to writing.” Azriel snaps at the busybody beside you, a stern edge in his tone.

“Yes, sir!”

Fortunately, the three of you arrive just in time for dinner. Unfortunately, the predominant topic at the table centers around the destruction of the building in the Summer Court. Rhysand, having taken the time to cool down, is noticeably calmer. While he remains upset that you and Cassian veered off course from your assigned mission, there's also a hint of happiness in having his friends back home and safe.

Cassian casually drapes his arm over the back of your chair, and the room is filled with the melody of his laughter in response to something Mor said. Something you should’ve caught as you’re seated right across from her but it’s the rich scent of sandalwood that captivates all your senses, causing your stomach to flutter. You barely manage to swallow your food without choking–a fact not lost on Azriel. He, however, chooses not to comment, sparing you from further embarrassment and grinning into his glass of wine instead.

Rhysand glares at Mor and you get a sense of what had been said when he says: “Please don’t encourage these architects of chaos.”

You groan, leaning back into your seat. The regret is instant as the edge of your wing brushes against Cassian’s arm. It sends a slight shiver down your spine and you’re mustering all your strength to keep it from causing your sensitive wings to twitch. You’re down bad.

“Can we please talk about something else?”

“Sure, but before we do…” Amren begins, a devious smile playing on her lips as she glances at you from across the table. “Can I keep the rubies?”

“Yeah and you can even keep the threat that comes with it too.”

The rest of dinner is, for the most part, uneventful. Rhysand excuses himself early to finish on some paperwork and before he leaves, he lets you and Cassian know that High Lord Nostrus should be receiving your written apologies by tomorrow morning. Amren leaves shortly after, eager to return to the quiet peace of her home. Just in time, too, as she manages to avoid a pointless argument between Cassian and Azriel over who has the best technique in training.

Not wanting to be dragged into it, you rise from your seat, grabbing a hold of the two remaining unopened wine bottles that Rhysand forgot to take back with him. You turn to Mor and you laugh when you don’t even have to say anything. She’s already standing from her seat, gesturing for you to lead the way.

The two of you end up in one of the living rooms and you’re touched when you find that the sentient house has a delicious assortment of desserts waiting for you on the coffee table. You sink into the comfort of the couch, feeling like you’re sitting on a cloud. Mor seats herself beside you, doing the honors of pouring you a glass of wine.

It doesn’t take long before the two of you are immersed into the dirtiest of gossip and catch up with one another. You move to pour yourself another glass only to find the second wine bottle empty, so you set your empty glass down on the coffee table. Leaning back into the comfort of the plush couch, you let out a sigh.

“I don’t know what he’s done to me,” you confess quietly, exhaustion taking over your features. “I’ve known him for years and all of sudden, I’m a possessive jealous mess? It doesn’t make sense to me.”

Mor raises a brow, as if it makes perfect sense to her. She then hums in contemplation, swirling the last drops of wine in her glass. “Maybe we should go out, have some fun, find a little distraction for you.”

“Or you can tell Cassian how you feel.”

The deep voice startles you both, causing Mor to gasp. Her glass falls from her grasps as Azriel emerges from the shadows. She regards the small specks of red tainting the white carpet with a frown before lifting her gaze to scowl at the Shadowsinger while you shoot him a mortified look.

“How dare you give her a reasonable option?” Mor chides him, waving her hands dramatically in the air.

“Stop with that nonsense, Az,” you say, a slight slur to your words. A frown settles onto your face, heart aching as your mind forces you to think of Cassian and Olianna. “He doesn’t feel the same for me as I do for him. I’ll only ruin our friendship if I do.”

Azriel’s eyes travel throughout the room. He takes in the empty bottles of wine, your hazy eyes and Mor’s flushed face. He looks like he wants to tell you something, on the verge of sharing a secret. Yet, whatever words linger on the tip of his tongue remain unspoken. He decides it’s best to turn around and leave, the inked wing on his arm burning further into his skin.

“Fine but don’t call me for help when you destroy another building.”

"Oh, fuck you."

He doesn't bother to turn around as he returns the gesture, a small chuckle escaping from him as he disappears into his shadows.

“So,” you turn back to Mor. “How about that distraction?”

“By the Cauldron, you look absolutely ravishing.” Mor whistles, stepping back to appreciate her work and as you look at your reflection in the mirror, you can’t help but agree.

After asking Rhysand to fly you both down, Mor winnowed you both to the townhouse, where she kept most of her going out clothes as it was a shorter distance to Rita’s. Insisting on glamming you up, she took charge of your hair and makeup, even providing you with a choice from her wardrobe. Considering the wings, your options were limited, but your gaze was drawn to a striking red satin dress. It had an alluring lace-up open back and a daring slit hem.

After scouring the dance floor for an hour from your seat at the bar, you finally find someone who catches your interest and as you approach him, you’re happy to find that he isn't intimidated by the sight of your wings. Despite your determination to keep a low profile in Velaris, it becomes challenging to go unnoticed when your friends all possess such great reputations, especially when Cassian is by your side. Mor wishes you good luck, sending you a wink as you depart from her side.

The male, who is named Felix, slings an arm around your waist, pulling you flush to him as you dance and you find yourself missing the scent of sandalwood immensely. He grins at you, intentions as clear as yours. “You’re so beautiful,” he says, drinking you under the neon lights of Rita’s. He licks his lips and glances over at your wings. “I’ve heard Illyrians can be very sensitive when it comes to their wings. Can I touch?”

Your mind immediately brings an image forward, of your wings being softly caressed, and heat pools down to your stomach. But in your head, it’s not the male in front of you. It’s Cassian’s.

“Don’t you dare fucking touch her!”

By the Cauldron, your mind is playing tricks on you as you can even hear his voice too.

You feel the loss of warmth from the male and you open your eyes just in time to see Felix sent stumbling to the floor. Your mind wasn’t playing tricks on you. Cassian is standing in front of you, chest heaving. The people who had stopped to stare quickly avert their gazes at his heated stare.

Felix gets up to his feet. He doesn’t even spare you a glance or a word as he disappears into the crowd. You’re immediately leaving the dance floor, not bothering to grab your coat before you exit the club with Cassian hot on your heels.

You pivot and Cassian nearly bumps into you. “What the fuck Cassian?”

“Yeah,” he agrees, returning your glare. “What the fuck?”

“Why are you even here?”

“I don’t know. Something didn't feel right." Cassian confesses, placing a hand over his chest as if to settle a pain.

You turn back around, knowing the towering Illyrian male was already planning to follow you. You begin to make your way to your place–a small apartment that Rhysand had gifted you on your first solstice in Velaris. You seldom used it, preferring to stay at either the house of wind or townhouse, but Rhysand insisted you have a place of your own in case you ever need space.

“And that gave you the right to ruin my night?” you huff over your shoulder.

“Ruin your night? I just saved you!”

“From what?” You laugh with sarcasm, grateful that the walk from your apartment and Rita’s was short. Pulling your key out from your bra, you hastily unlock your door. “An orgasm? Gee, thanks. Love you for that,” and then under your breath mutter: “I didn’t stop you from yours in Summer.”

As soon as you step through your door, you turn and shut it behind you. A boot stops you from doing so and Cassian pushes against you and the door, allowing himself in. “What are you talking about?”

“You mean to tell me nothing happened between you and Olianna?”

“Yes, because nothing happened! She asked me to help her with a move after dinner so I did and…” His voice trails off, and then a heavy silence descends as realization washes over him. He looks at you, and you instinctively avert your gaze.

Without bothering to slip off your heels, you dart straight to your room, desperate to put as much distance between the two of you. You’re not ready to have this conversation. Relief mingles with embarrassment, both emotions flooding you and sending blood rushing to your face. But Cassian is determined. He follows after you.

“Were you jealous?”

Arms crossed over your chest, you keep your back to him, wings curled around you. “No.”

Cassian chuckles, and before you know it, he's spinning you around to face him. One hand presses against your lower back, the other at your face. A smirk plays on his lips as he reads the defiant expression on your face. He knows you’re lying.

“You were jealous.”

“So were you,” you manage to say back.

Cassian hums in what can only be agreement. A thumb reaches out to brush your lower lip, the same way he did your first night in Summer, and then he’s replacing his thumb with his lips. The way he wanted to that night. His kiss is anything but gentle. It’s pure heated desire–one that has been simmering for years. You kiss him back, matching his urgency and he groans, allowing both of his hands to cup your face as his lips mold perfectly against yours.

He pulls away, his hands still cradling your face as his gaze burns into yours. “You want to orgasm tonight? I can give it to you.”

A thrill runs down your spine and your wings shudder. You should push him away. Cassian is your friend. A friend… who is offering to give you an orgasm with a very promising look at this very moment. Though your heart tells you not to, that you might end up hurt after this, there’s that singing in your chest again. Give in.

“You sound so confident.”

His eyes darken as his legs push against yours, walking you both to your bed. The back of your knees meet your bed and you give in, allowing yourself to fall onto the soft sheets behind you. You land on your elbows and push yourself even further up on your bed until your back meets your headrest.

“Don’t test me, baby,” he purrs, watching the way your thighs clench in response to the new nickname. It makes his cock harden in his pants. “I can have you screaming all night long.”

“Lay it all on me,” you reply, heart be damned.

Cassian wastes no time in stripping himself of his clothes, lust filled eyes fixated on you. His hard cock springs free and your eyes widen because yes, you’ve seen him before but not like this. Not when he’s hard and leaking and it’s all for you. He pumps himself, licking his lips, as your arousal floods his senses before easing himself onto the bed.

He slips your heels off and discards them. His hands caress their way up your legs and the roughness of his hands, weathered by many battles and challenges, feels heavenly against you. As his hands make their way higher, they begin kneading at the soft flesh of your thighs, dragging your dress up along with his movements. He groans at the thin lace that greets him, pressing his lips against your clothed core.

“You’re so fucking wet.”

“Well, you did catch me in the middle of something promising earlier…”

Cassian growls at your words, a wave of possessiveness taking over him. “Yeah? Well, by the time I’m done with you, it will be my cum dripping out of this pretty pussy.”

He’s tugging at your underwear, hastily dragging it down your legs. With a devious smirk, he grasps your hands and places them over his hair. “Hold on tight, baby.”

It’s the only warning he gives you before diving right in and setting you alight with his mouth. His nose brushes against your clit as he begins to fuck you with his tongue. “Do you know how often I thought of this? Of tasting you.”

You want to tell him you’ve thought of this too but you’re too lost in the pleasure of his mouth. All you can do is moan and it spurs him on, urging him to bring you closer to your release. “I can only imagine how good I’ll feel inside you.”

His words, a promise of what is to come, is your undoing. You’re squirming beneath him, back arching off the bed as you thread your fingers through his hair. A string of curses leaves your lips when he presses multiple kisses to your clit, overwhelming you in such a delightful way.

Cassian pulls away, mouth glistening with your release as he grins and your heart flutters. He crawls his way up your body, replacing his tongue with his fingers, reveling in the way they easily slide in. His lips slot over yours in a sloppy and heated kiss. When he slips another finger into you, you’re moaning into his mouth. His tongue dances with yours, wrestling for dominance that you ardently submit to.

“Please, Cassian,” you’re begging when his lips leave yours and his cock twitches at the pretty sounds that follow after. Another wave of white hot pleasure crashes over you and he groans, loving the way you're clenching so tightly around his fingers. “I need you.”

Cassian slips his fingers out of you, placing his hands at your hips to flip the both of you over. He adjusts you to straddle his lap, gaze burning into you with need. “Show me.”

“But let’s get rid of this first.” His fingers toy with the slit of your dress. “I need to see all of you.”

You nod, fingers reaching behind to undo the laces of your dress. The sound of fabric ripping reaches your ears before you can undo the first knot and cool air caresses against the newly exposed skin.

“Cassian!”

“That’s my name, baby,” he grins at you, expertly unclasping your bra and throwing it behind you along with the torn dress.

“That wasn’t my dre–oh.” Your protest dies at your throat, eyes fluttering shut as he takes your breasts in his hands, kneading the soft flesh and pressing them together. The torn dress you borrowed from Mor is long forgotten, stored away in the back of your mind. The same way you stored away all your reservations. The desire that’s been consuming you is too much for you to think through reasonably so you succumb completely into it, knowing there will be consequences to deal with later.

It’s almost embarrassing how much Cassian has thought about this, especially after the tease you gave him in Summer. His desires had gone beyond wanting to kiss you that night. He wanted to see, feel and taste every part of you. To hear you moaning and screaming just for him. Now, that you’re completely bare before him, he can look, feel and taste all he wants. And he plans to bask in every second of your warmth.

“So fucking beautiful,” he breathes, leaning in to take a breast into his mouth, tongue swirling around your hardening nipple with burning hunger. Your hands find purchase in his hair again as you arch yourself further, grinding against him. Lewd moans escape from both of you when the tip of his cock brushes against your sensitive clit. Cassian dives for your neck next, pressing hot open mouthed kisses everywhere he can.

“Come on, baby girl. Show me how much you need me and ride me.”

Aligning yourself with him, you slowly sink down onto his cock, savoring the burn from the stretch. His fingers run up and down your sides before settling onto your hips. Eyes fluttering shut at the sheer intensity of your warmth, he can’t help but thrust up into you, fully sheathing himself inside you. His head tilts back when you begin to move and he releases a deep groan.

It’s when your thighs start to tremble and wings flare out that he takes over. He hugs you tightly, arm wrapped around your waist while his other hand rubs at your clit. While he pants and groans against your neck, you’re crying and screaming out his name. He plants his feet on the bed and thrusts ruthlessly up into you over and over again until you both reach your high, wings flaring out.

As Cassian stirs in bed, a cool emptiness greets him, replacing the warmth he expected. Blinking his eyes open, he finds the spot beside him empty. You're gone. The lingering trace of your sweet scent is the only evidence of what transpired between you both. Fuck. Apprehension weighs down on his mind in your absence, threatening to sicken his stomach. He needs to talk to you.

After freshening up and slipping into the spare clothes he keeps at your place, his determination to find you takes hold. It's as if he can sense the storm of emotions within you—guilt, anxiety, and fear. There’s an inkling in his mind as to where you are. He knows you so well. A soft smile graces his lips when he spots you on the training grounds of the house of wind, unleashing powerful strikes on a punching bag.

Your hair is gathered into a carefree bun, and today, you've traded your usual leathers for leggings and a sports bra. You’re a vision of strength and beauty and as loose strands of your hair dance in the breeze, Cassian finds himself lost in the realization of just how deeply in love with you he is.

He lands softly, fighting the urge to frown when he notices the immediate tension in your body from his presence. He hesitates, his throat bobbing as he looks at you, uncertainty flickering in his eyes. "Can we—"

"No, let me talk first," you interrupt with a deep sigh as you turn to face him.

"But I had something to say first," he insists with a slight shake of his head.

“I have something more important to say."

Cassian crosses his arms, challenging your claim. "My something is more important than your something."

“I love you.”

The words hang in the air and as the weight of your confession sinks in, a wave of fear grips you. You're certain you've just shattered any hopes of a remaining friendship with him. Because after last night, there's no way you can keep going on as a friend when you want to be so much more. The silence becomes maddening, and suddenly, you can't hold it any longer.

“I love you so much it hurts,” you admit with a trembling breath, tears welling in your eyes. “Because I want your every smile, your every laugh, but above all, I want your heart and–and I’m sorry for–”

“Oh, y/n,” Cassian interrupts with a chuckle.

The sound makes you go weak and you’re absolutely mortified. He rarely ever calls you by your name. He’s about to break your heart, the very thing you’ve been fearing since the realization of your feelings. The urge to run away grips you, but your feet remain planted. You lack the strength to escape the moment. Tears flow freely down your face, and your wings sag behind you, unable to bear the weight of vulnerability.

“You’ve had my heart from the start.”

Slowly, you lift your gaze. Hazel eyes bore into yours, the golden flecks glimmering at you. “What?”

He steps closer to you until he's standing right in front of you. His hands cradle your face as he wipes at your tears. “I’ve loved you for years. I thought I made it pretty obvious, especially after last night.”

“Not obvious enough,” you remark with a huff but there’s a playful and affectionate undertone in your voice.

“I could remind you again?”

"Please."

A radiant smile breaks onto Cassian’s face, and the warmth in his eyes washes away any doubt that may have lingered in your heart. Something within you flutters madly against your ribs. All these years…the teasing, the flirting, the lingering touches. They all meant something to him, the same way it did for you. You’ve loved him and he loved you back. So many years wasted, yearning and pining for one another. As you gaze into each other’s eyes, so many unspoken words are said and there’s a shared understanding that you’re not wasting another moment.

Rhysand raises his cup of coffee to his lips, the rich aroma swirling around him as he catches a glimpse of Cassian, carrying you over his shoulder, with an eagerness he’s familiar with. He then glances over the rim of his mug at Azriel, seated across from him at the breakfast table.

"Do you think they know?"

Azriel snorts in response. "Doubt it. I think you should tell them."

“No.” Rhysand's lips curve into a smirk. "Let's see how long it takes them to realize that their mating bond has snapped into place."

“We should probably head out.”

“Good idea,” Rhysand replies with a nod of his head.

In the blink of an eye, the sentient house packs the remnants of their breakfast for them to enjoy elsewhere. Without a moment's delay, they make their way to one of the balconies. Their wings gracefully unfurl behind them, catching the morning sunlight that bathes them in a golden glow.

As they soar away, you and Cassian remain blissfully unaware of the invisible thread that has silently bound your souls together for years.

tagging: @historiaxvanserra

a/n: I always wanted to write a fic where a mating bond has snapped but neither of them have a clue because they already loved each other, might be a bit unrealistic but 🤷‍♀️ I came across this bibble meme while writing this and it reminded me of both reader and Cas in some aspects. Since I couldn't think of an embarrassing nickname, I went with Bibble and so now the cute little character is canon in Prythian in this lol.

if you want more background info on reader and cas: click here

Other things that I included in this part:

This scene from Vampire Diaries.

also, this tiktok.

#cassian x reader #cassian x y/n #cassian imagine #cassian x you #cassian fanfiction #acotar x reader #acotar x y/n #acotar x you #acotar fanfiction #acotar cassian #cassian smut #acotar smut

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b00kdiary · 5 months

Text

Across the Pages: SJM MEN + PLUS SIZE OC MASTERLIST

This is a multiple part series with Sarah J. Maas male characters and a plus size female reader.

The series will take place in the ACOTAR, TOG, or CC worlds and be 18+ with sexual themes, mature language and will have a plus size fmc (Because we thick girls deserve the love too!) I am taking requests!

Crescent City

Ithan Holstrom- Euphoria

Ruhn Danaan + Tristan Flynn- Better Than Any Fantasy

Acotar

Rhysand + Cassian + Azriel- Wildest Dreams Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V

Rhysand + Cassian + Azriel - Relax

Cassian - Hurt me

Cassian- Mirror, Mirror

Rhysand- Stay With Me, Part II, Part III

Azriel- Cauldron Blessed

Cassian + Azriel- Take it Part I, Part II

Azriel- Unworthy

Rhysand- Yours

Cassian- Mine

Eris - Fire Night

Throne of Glass [coming soon]

TAKING REQUESTS FOR ALL SJM MEN AND MORE COMING SOON!

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ifyoucandaniel · 3 months

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i know we all love our jason “reads classical literature and makes obscure literature references” todd, and usually damian is the other reader in the family and they either bond over their love for classical literature or try to kill each other. however i would like to take this a step further and say that EVERYone in the batfam are big readers. i come from a big family and all of us read in some way or another so here are my headcanons for the bats:

jason, as we know and love, is a massive classic literature buff. pride and prejudice, the brontë sisters, the iliad (he swears achilles and Patroclus are the greatest love story of all time), etc. he IS pretentious and everyone groans when classic literature is brought up in any debatable capacity. however his all time favorite book is the princess bride and he would die for buttercup. when the whole family starts watching jujutsu kaisen, jason reads the manga just so he can spoil things for damian that never actually happen. the day a new episode comes out jason tells damian panda was actually a spy and kills megumi. damian tries to kill him with his cereal spoon

while damian was with the league talia made sure he was sufficiently educated in classic literature in all their original languages, and he doesn’t mind a good classic. however i think he actually reads a lot of manga and children's classics. he read where the red fern grows and old yeller and cried, but he won’t ever admit it. he loves shonen and shojo manga, he really likes naruto and attack on titan (i can’t really decide what i think he’d like actually)

Dick is a smut slut girly!! he is in a bookclub with babs and steph where they read the sluttiest books to ever make it through publishing. He read ACOTAR and was constantly facetiming babs to rant. they're currently reading haunting adaline. Bruce once asked what the big deal was when the girls were talking to dick about fouth wing in the kitchen and they all looked at him with such offended expressions he never asked again

tim is also a pretentious fucker, but he reads dark academia. he will ride or die for Donna Tarte, his copy of the secret history is always on the desk by the batcomputer and he takes if we were villians on patrol with him. jason fucking hates his books and they're always fighting on who's taste in books is better. jason actually really loved a little life a cried seven times while reading it, but he would rather die than concede

steph is an AO3 girly!! she's part of the slut bookclub with dick and babs, but at heart she's an ao3 girly. she's also written her fair share of bruce wayne x batman fanfics. she once read a superbat fanfiction out loud to the boys and dick was absolutely enthralled, duke was morbidly facinated, damian had never been more disgusted in his life, and jason laughed so hard he almost threw up

duke reads a lot of comics (spiderman is his favorite because i say so and the MCU is their comic world), and he likes X-men and wolverine. he also really likes high fantasy and has read every book brandon sanderson has ever written

Cass like romance novels and ya books. damian acknowledges her taste in books after she defends his stance on harry potter and percy jackson being classics when jason tries to argue that they don't belong in the same category as his books. she read the cruel prince and convinced bruce to get her a snake she named percy. she reads books damian recommends and he would never actually say it out loud, but he secretly loves sharing his books with her and feels a lot closer to her because of her willingness to read what he recommends

bruce isn't typically a reader (he's too busy serving justice and kicking ass) but he will read books that his kids ask him to. he read the entire wheel of time series with duke and would go on patrols with him after just to talk about it. he read the golden compass to dick when he first took him in, and he read all of jane austen's books after jason told him he must be illiterate if he'd never picked up a classic

now what about alfred...

i dont have time to do everyone else and this is super rushed, but I just couldn't stop thinking about dick and babs having a little book club and reading the sluttiest books ever

#batfam #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #barbra gordon #bruce wayne #duke thomas #batman #batfam headcanons #alfred pennyworth #i feel like i definately could have done more with this but this is just off the top of my head #i feel like i messed up a few of them but you get my point #theyr readers and theyre all besties

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delulustateofmind · 11 days

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Between Worlds Part III

A/n: Wasn't planning on writing more, but your support changed my mind! The series now has a title. Thanks to all who liked and reblogged the first two fics. You're amazing! Hope you all enjoy the third part :)) I did change the POV to make it flow nicer, had a coworker edit the fic for me too, let me know any thoughts!

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five: Coming soon!

Summary: Reader wakes up in ACOTAR a year after the war with Hybern. A bunch of events happen that leads to them waking up in a one night stand with Azriel.

Trigger Warnings: Maybe slightly scary Azriel but none that I can think of besides slight angst.

Word Count: 1.6k

It was supposed to be a simple one-night stand with a handsome stranger, a way to steer clear of the story’s main characters. But, after a few too many drinks—Sake Bombs to be exact—I woke up in the bed of the Night Court’s spymaster, one of Prythian’s most dangerous men. One word stood out to me, echoing in my mind. The shock was clear on my face.

“‘Mate’?” you stammered. A mate bond between us? That was impossible. You weren’t even supposed to be in this world. Was the tightening in your chest from the bond or just your own anxiety?

Azriel chuckled, looking down at you. You could tell that he saw through your pathetic attempt at hiding your feelings. I mean, you could feel the invisible thread pulling you together. You could feel every emotion he was expressing through the bond. Azriel was the spymaster; he was trained to read every emotion and find any information he could get.

“You felt it, didn’t you? The love and affection that I am sending you.” His voice was laced with amusement as he watched you squirm a bit. “You’re not getting out of it that easily you know. Mate bonds are sacred after all.” His expression turned serious as he said this, looking down at you.

“This is going to sound selfish,” he said softly, not meeting your gaze as he looked around the room. “Please, give it a chance. I have been waiting so long to find my mate and here you are.” A soft, breathy laugh escaped his lips. “Who knew I’d meet my mate drunk at a pleasure hall? Never in my five hundred years would I have expected that. The Mother must work in mysterious ways.” He finally met your gaze, his gaze held warmth but seemed to be evaluating your every move.

That’s right, he is around five hundred years old and just had a mate bond snap…which means that he probably wants to have a ceremony as soon as possible. I could feel the anxiety creeping up. I know he can sense and feel every emotion. What would he do, if he found out that I am not even from this world? That I am not his true mate?

You somehow manage to blurt out without stammering, “I…want to form a bargain with you.”

“A bargain?” His expression darkened with curiosity.

You shifted nervously in the bed, a knot had built in your chest, and you could feel the blood rushing to your cheeks. You needed him to say yes, you needed time to figure out your situation, even if you had to throw a bargain that he would more than likely say no to. A bargain that would make him feel rejected.

His gaze held yours for a moment, the only movement being his eyes as they scanned your every expression. “What would you like to bargain with me about, y/n?”

“First, I want to make sure the ceremony date isn’t for another six months, preferably longer. Second, you cannot use your shadows to spy on me. They cannot access my room or any of my items. Lastly, I need three months before I meet your family or before you can meet mine.” You could feel the anxiety brewing in your stomach. His expression showed a tiny amount of sadness and curiosity. You felt as if he knew you were hiding something but was choosing to ignore it, for now. “Is there anything you would like to add?”

Azriel stared at you incredulously. You had wanted the ceremony to be delayed, and not only did you not want him to access your personal life, but you wanted three months to go by before he saw your family, or you saw his. A few minutes of silence passed as Azriel pondered his next response. His face was expressionless, showing none of his thoughts.

“Three months? Why three months?” The soft amusement was back in his voice as he shifted forward, placing his scarred fingers under your chin so you’d meet his gaze. A gaze that could only belong to someone who was feared among every court in Prythian. A dangerous gaze that spoke volumes. The room was silent, as you couldn’t say another word. Instead, he spoke in a low, soft tone that seemed to taunt a reaction out of you.

“You know I could find any information that I could ever want, right?” Words that were laced with truth, a subtle warning in his tone.

You felt like your heart was going to burst from the anxiety inside of you, a part of you hoping it would so you could avoid this conversation. “I know you could find any information about me that you could want, I just…I don’t want to move too fast. I mean we just met, you know?”

He chuckled softly as he dragged his scarred thumb across your cheek. In a whisper that seemed laced with something dark. "We did just meet, but I do know one thing about you already." Azriel gave you a warm smile and stared at you as he whispered the words "You're scared and I know you’re hiding something, sweetness."

You took in a deep breath, trying to clear your thoughts. This male was going to be the death of you.

You stammered your sentence for a moment. “I’m not scared, it’s just…I can’t exactly tell you right now. I need to figure out some things first. But, that’s not important right now, do you accept the bargain?”

Azriel frowned as he looked at your face, somehow trying to find information through your expression. After another moment, he finally said, "Fine, you have your bargain. But only if you promise me one thing."

He accepted? That was different than what you were expecting. “What’s your condition?”

Before you knew it, you truly saw the spymaster of the Night Court in action as he moved closer to you. He raised an eyebrow at you, pulling his hand away from your face, and moved them to either side of you. Leaning down close enough to whisper in your ear. "You'll tell me whatever truth you're keeping from me after three months, no games, no bullshit. But only after the three months have passed." He seemed to wait until you could gather your senses to respond. His gaze was harsh but still held some warmth.

“We have a deal,” the words stumbled out, your voice barely above a whisper.

“We have a deal,” Azriel repeated with his voice sending a shiver down your spine with its coldness. He hesitated for a moment, his brows furrowing slightly as if wrestling an inner turmoil. Then without warning, a bargain marking materialized on both of your wrists, taking the form of a small star.

Another long period of silence. Nothing in the room moved but his shadows that moved between you like silk. Some of the shadows felt like kisses on your wrist as they slithered over the bargain.

“I suppose I should take you home,” he whispered, his voice coming out rough. As if he wanted to say something more. You gave him a slow nod, and he moved away, climbing off the bed to hand you a simple dress. “I had my shadows bring something, you…ruined yours last night. I’ll save you the embarrassment,” he teased lightly before stepping out of the room to allow you some privacy.

Oh…what did you do in front of this beautiful creature? You are never drinking again if it's what you think it is.

You slipped on the dress; it fit nicely. How he knew your size or his shadows knew was beyond you. You chose to ignore those thoughts as you tied your hair, looking in the mirror. One thing you knew for sure, you needed a bath.

After you stepped out of the room, your eyes fell upon Azriel, already clad in his Illyrian leathers, the blue cobalt siphons shimmering in the morning light that filtered through the window. He looked every bit the formidable warrior, yet there was a softness in his eyes as he reached out his scarred hand to yours.

In an instant, we were no longer in the confines of the townhouse, but standing at the gates of your parents’ estate. Azriel’s expression softened, his gaze meeting yours with a vulnerability you hadn’t expected.

“Y/n, there is one more thing before we go back in there,” he said, his voice carrying a weight of unspoken words.

As he glanced towards the estate, a sense of unease settled over me, knowing what was coming next. "Your secret, whatever it is, will always be safe with me,” Azriel said, his gaze unwaveringly sincere as he met your eyes. “Whenever you are ready to tell me.”

You met his gaze with a mixture of gratitude and apprehension, emotions swirling within you like a storm. "It's not that bad of a secret," you began, your voice betraying a hint of vulnerability. "I just don't want anyone to get hurt." You paused, gathering your thoughts. "Don't worry, in three months you can introduce me to your family. In six months we can set a date for a ceremony."

Azriel leaned forward, his smile gentle as he reached out to brush a stray strand of hair behind your ear. His expression was a blend of disappointment and sadness flickering in his eyes. It seemed as though he had something more to say, or perhaps do. After a moment of tense silence, he nodded as if coming to a decision. "See you in three months, my mate," he said softly, before turning away and disappearing with a graceful winnow. Not even leaving a trace of shadows behind. All that was left was his scent of night-chilled mist and cedar.

Tag list: @mybestfriendmademe, @why4anne, @impossibelle

#acotar #azriel x reader #azriel #azriel x you #acotar azriel #shadowsinger

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thenovocianelullaby · 1 month

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i always love the SJM men that seem to get the most hate. i’ll just be reading through and kicking my feet thinking that everyone else sees them the way i do so let me just give some opinions…

Lucien is HOT. i said it. in ACOTAR he is so funny and flirty and a fun character and as the series progresses i find him even more hot. I don’t want him to end up with elain CAUSE I WANT HIM FOR MYSELF!!!

CHAOL IS HOT AND FUN AND CHARMING! i thought that him and celaena didn’t work together but man was i swooning every god damn time he was on the page. and yes i’ll admit his brooding and self hatred got a little… old. but. he made up for it entirely in TOD and maybe it was Yrene doing the heavy lifting in making me think Chaol was hot but.. she did her job.

Eris is hot. i wanna know more about him because the picture that is being painted of him doesn’t make sense to me… that’s all i’m saying on that.

Tharion is hot and is SO CUTE AND WHOLESOME. i’m sorry but the hate he and Ithan received was unwarranted in my dumb stupid opinion. “thEy ShARe OnE BrAIn cElL aNd NeiTHeR Of TheM HaVE iT” ok and? the ENTIRE frat pack shares one brain cell. i think that makes them big dumb himbos. its not for everyone but i find it cute ok? shoot me. ANYWAYS… back to Tharion. this water himbo agreed to MARRY a fish princess cause he couldn’t keep it in his pants.. that’s funny. he actively flirts and makes moves on Bryce in front of Hunt… that’s funny. HE MARRIED HIS FRIEND’S LITTLE SISTER… like cmon that’s funny. yes i wanted to slap him half of HOFAS because he was making the stupidest decisions, but at the end of the day that’s just what a himbo does right?

on to Ithan who i mentioned earlier. yes the sunball was cringe… but have you ever MET a football/baseball/basketball player? like come on he’s a perfect stupid idiot little jock. AND AGAIN A HIMBO. and he wants to do good but he’s young and stupid. it’s like if I as in ME as in MYSELF tried to change the government… bro is just in there kinda fucking everything up but at least he’s trying. also.. i always saw him as like a little brother figure in the books. like he genuinely reminds me of my friends little brother.. which Ithan literally IS Connor’s little brother. so maybe that’s why he gets under so many people’s skin.

(i love every sjm character and i’ll die on this stupid hill)

#cc hofas #crescent city #hofas #sjm #throne of glass #acotar #tharion ketos #lucien vanserra #eris vanserra #ithan holstrom #chaol westfall #acosf #a court of thorns and roses

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acourtofthought · 3 months

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I have seen an influx of people who claim they're Elucien's while simultaneously telling Elucien's they are delusional for thinking ACOTAR 5 will be Elain and Lucien's.

One of their new arguments is based on a fan-made bracket of SJM men that they had her do during the Today show (a fan-made bracket that the creator of said bracket left Lucien out of).

"Azriel is someone I'm going to be exploring more"

We know SJM was writing ACOTAR 5 in September. As we also know she re-wrote HOFAS in a month, chances are ACOTAR 5 has been written and is now in the editing process.

If Azriel is someone she's going to be exploring more.......than doesn't that mean he's 's not someone she fully explored while writing ACOTAR 5 back in September?

That Elain and Lucien's story is the one she wrote and that means Az will be a character in a book after theirs?

"But the crossover!" ...... Is a different series. And only hinted at future storylines that, as far as we know, have nothing to do with Koschei, Beron, Spring, Vassa. Future storylines that aren't a more pressing concern than the concerns we were left with after Silver Flames.

"But Elain was barely in SF!" She was actually, though people hate her character so much that of course they'd ignore how much we were given on her. However that's still a weak argument considering Chaol was completely absent from Empire of Storms yet got his own story in Tower of Dawn.

Elain's absence in the crossover could simply mean her journey already started shortly after Nesta's ended.

And probably the reason Az is still being pissy over not having a mate, since he knows Lucien is already on his way to ending up with his own.

"SJM hasn't talked about Elain since before Silver Flames!" False considering she is on record talking about Elain in the Eva Chen Interview, done after the release of Silver Flames, in a very major way. And in another where she spoke of Elain as a quiet dreamer. Not to mention she was excited to keep the ending of CC2 a secret as she was the Feysand reveal. Acting like her going quiet about a character means she's forgotten about them is ignoring that she enjoys surprises.

As far as I can tell, no on truly knows who is getting the next book and there is just as many counter-arguments as to why it could be Elucien's so maybe those who feel it necessary to call Elucien's delusional or lacking reading comprehension (my mother was a teacher and literacy specialist, I think I'm ok in that department thank you very much) might want to leave at least a little room for the possibility that they could be wrong.

#lucien vanserra #pro lucien vanserra #elain archeron #pro elucien #elucien #pro elain archeron #elain and lucien #acotar 5 #elucien supremacy

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emiliamildner · 9 months

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POV: Hello, Feyre darling

The one and only High Lord of the Night Court because sometimes I just want to paint handsome men.

Full 🌶️ version on Patre0n here

Inspired by Rhysand from ACOTAR series by Sarah J. Maas

‼️ DO NOT REPOST WITHOUT PERMISSION!

#rhysand #sarah j maas #acotar #a court of thorns and roses #book art #digital painting #artists on tumblr #high lord of the night court

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nightcourtreader · 2 months

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Azriel's Plotlines

After my acotar series re-read & reading HOFAS. I think that SJM gave us clear plotlines for Azriel. Or at least potential ones for him to tackle. And since I think that Gwyn would be his love interest, I think Gwyn has a clear connection to these plotlines as well. Which I think includes Illyria/illyrians/ramiel, the autumn court, the prison & the valkryies.

This contains HOFAS spoilers by the way!

Illyria/Ilyrians

* SJM introduced the Illyrian plot line early on in acomaf. When we first heard about them we learned that some Illyrians sided with amarantha & had rebellion groups which Rhys, Cassian & Azriel all hunted down & killed, causing unrest in the Illyrian camp.

* In acomaf, we also learned how the Illyrian men treat their women & how it's been a long standing issue. And we know it's still a problem today despite Cassian trying to make progress.

* In acowar, the illyrians fought in the war but in acofas it was clear that afterward they were upset with the bat boys because some soldiers died in the war and didn't get to come home. Causing more unrest. And pissing Azriel off because he said that they trained for that exact reason and he called them hypocrites despite Rhysand trying to show Azriel the illyrians side of things. But it was explained that Cassian help fix the unrest and rebellions in the Illyrian camps and they knew that the blood rite would also help with that unrest in the early scenes of acosf.

* By the end of acosf. It was made clear that the Illyrians weren't happy that the valkyies participated in the blood qualifier and the blood rite. No matter if the Valkyries joked about it, it has been well known that the illyrians take the blood rite quite seriously to the point that they have a law that no one can interfere with the blood rite, not even the damn high lord. They hold that tradition sacred. And there are other Illyrians who lived in the blood rite that can confirm that the Valkyries killed other fellow Illyrians, do you think that will sit well with the illyrians with their twisted views about women? I don’t think so. It’s going to be a future conflict in a for sure.

* From the jump once we were introduced to Azriel, it was clear that Azriel hated the Illyrians. Whereas the other batboys do not. Azriel is an Illyrian whether he likes it or not, he’s going to have to come to terms with it. Because if he hates the Illyrians, then that means in part he hates himself. Which is a long standing issue with him.

* Cassian told us in acomaf, that the Illyrians don't like high fae and don't like it when high fae try to tell them what to do. So the illyrians def don't like the fact that Rhys is halfbreed and SJM didn't fully tackle Illyria through Cassian, despite Cassian being their general and especially since she gave Cassian a plot line of learning to be a courtier. So I think it makes sense to give the plotline to Azriel.

* The Illyrians have rebelled before, toed the line of rebellion in acofas and can rebel again with the events of acosf. The Illyrians can out right refuse to fight with the night court in an upcoming war. They make up majority of the night court armies. If they don’t fight, the night court won’t have a standing army.

* I think this connects to Gwyn because she participated in the blood rite alongside nesta & Emerie. Gwyn herself stated that the Illyrians were going to be furious. Emerie, an illryian herself stated they would be in hysterics for decades. I believe there is going to be conflict with the valkryies & the Illyrians. Nesta wants to build an all female unit. Cassian is trying to train Illyrian women. What if nesta starts recruiting Illyrian women?

* In HOFAS, we also learned that Truth Teller was once wielded by Enalius, one of the first illyrians and the male the illyrians honor with the blood rite. Another illyrian connection for Azriel. And Truth Teller also came into Fionn’s possession, who was prythian’s first and only high king. Theia stole the blade from Fionn’s dead body.

* We know Azriel’s shadowsingers abilities came to him when he was locked in a dungeon at his fathers estate and his father threw him in the camp at the age of 11 after he recognized Azriel’s abilities so either he found that knife somewhere in illryia or the NC or somewhere completely different. Hopefully we find out.

Ramiel

* In acofas Cassian said ramiel always felt alive somehow, awake.

* In acosf, Eris said that “Unsurprisingly, the Illyrians were never curious enough to see what secrets lie beneath Ramiel. If it, too, was carved up like the others by ancient hands.” Why does Eris of all people mention this?

* In HOFAS, Vesperus, the Asteri told Bryce, nesta & Azriel while they were are the prison isle, that the asteri hid pockets of their power around the lands and asked have they looked at the bottom of every sacred mountain, at the roots. We all know the 3 famous sacred mountains in prythian. Ramiel, the mountain in the middle, and the prison itself. Which Eris also confirms in acosf.

* In acosf, when we got the daglan’s backstory, we were told that the asteri/daglan were rushing to get to the top of ramiel due to that black monolith on top but Enalius held them off. In acosf, we found out that the black stone is able to teleport & heal the people that touch it. Gwyn & Emerie found themselves in a parlor at the river house and they stated that they think the stone knew where Gwyn and Emerie were needed most. So did the daglan/asteri thought that the stone will transport them home? Or at least to another planet they could infiltrate.

* It’s been highly speculated that the 3 stars that are the insignia of the night court are the names of 3 daglan/asteri. Or it could be names for the first Illyrians. Who knows. Hopefully we find out more on that.

* Also, the Illyrians are the only ones permitted to be on ramiel & the illyrians aren’t even allowed to be on ramiel until the blood rite. And the blood rite is the time the Illyrians have powers. Why? And if that rule is in place, then I just know the illryians are definitely mad that nesta and Gwyn participated in the blood rite since they are not illryian.

* But I definitely think there’s something under ramiel. It’s been hinted at too many times that something is there. It hasn’t been explored enough. Especially with the rule no one is permitted on it until the blood rite.

Gwyneth Bedara

* As people already know, I think Azriel’s love interest/mate is Gwyn of course. SJM dropped too many hints and used the same wording for mates in the Crescent City series when it comes to gwynriel.

* I think the two would be a friends to lovers story.

* Gwyn would be a perfect counterpart to Azriel’s pov.

* Gwyn has been in the library since acomaf when it was mentioned that sangravah was raided. She said she’s tired of living in the library and she finally came out of it when it came to training on the top of the house of wind. And she was fully away from the house of wind when she went to go comfort nesta at emerie’s house & when she was forced into the blood rite at the end of acosf. But despite learning to be a warrior, finally coming out of the library, SJM had her go back into the end, after Gwyn said their stories are worth telling, do you really think her story is going to end with her permanently staying in the library? I hope not.

* Gwyn has been described as glowing and having crackling energy, so we don’t know what powers she possess, so hopefully we find that out too.

* A big arc for Gwyn will be definitely just getting out of the library and I would really love to see how her journey will go because she really deserves to live a happy life after all she’s been through.

The Autumn Court/Beron

* Besides the night court, the autumn court was the second most talked about court in acosf, to the point where Eris made several appearances throughout acosf.

* In acowar, the night court agreed to support Eris’s claim to the throne when the time comes. To the point that Eris suggested that Rhys kills Beron before the war even started. At the very end of acowar, in text it stated “Eris continued by as if he hadn’t heard it, but didn’t sneer at least. Rather—he just nodded at Rhys. It was silent promise enough: soon. Soon, perhaps, Eris would finally take what he desired—and call in our debt.”

* It’s clear that Beron has become a huge problem and a huge liability to prythian. In acowar, he didn’t want to fight with the rest of the courts against Hybern. And now in acosf he’s aligned with Briallyn and is looking to align with Koschei.

* Beron is so much of a problem that Cassian said “But no one had been able to decide which was the bigger threat for them: Briallyn and Koschei, or Beron’s willingness to ally with them.” Beron is so much of a problem that they were trying to decide who was worse Briallyn & Koschei or Beron.

* In acosf, Eris also confirmed that Beron wanted to take over Spring Court lands. Quite honestly, Beron is the one who is putting the Spring Court into danger. No one else wants spring court lands. Autumn and Summer are the two courts bordering Spring. The others don’t have the direct chance to take over spring because they have to go through summer and autumn. Tarquin is too good of a male to try to take over Spring. He even took spring court citizens in during acowar.

* Eris also told us this at the end of acosf “My father is furious that his ally is dead, but he’s not deterred. Koschei remains in play, and Beron might very well be stupid enough to establish an alliance with him, too. I hope that whatever Morrigan is doing in Vallahan will counteract the damage my father will unleash.” Doesn’t it sound like Beron once again is going to be a problem?

* With Eris wanting Beron gone, it’s quite clear that Eris doesn’t want to do it himself, that’s why he keeps encouraging Rhys to do the dirty work. But wouldn’t Azriel be a perfect candidate since you know he’s a spy master & torturer? He can easily do it with Eris helping him get into the forest house and without it coming back onto Eris and the Night court.

* In HOFAS, Einar, aka the autumn king, wanted to use Bryce to go to prythian. I think it’s obvious that Einar is distantly related to the Autumn Court in prythian. Despite knowing the autumn court was formed after the fae went into Midgard and left prythian. Both Einar and autumn court residents have the famous red hair and the fire power. Then the way Einar and Beron are just alike. Like why would Einar label himself as the autumn king?

* We know that Bryce & Ruhn are starborn because of their father’s bloodline, and if Einars blood line is from the autumn court blood line, or related to it. Who’s to say that anyone in the autumn court in prythian couldn’t also have starborn power?

* Now Gywn has a clear autumn court connection. Her grandfather is an autumn court male & her mother was born in the autumn court. Which I think that’s where both Gywn and Catrin were born. But I think that Gwyn’s grandmother is from the spring court. Gwyns mother was given the chance to be with her mother’s people in spring or be in the forest house of autumn. We know beron is the oldest high lord. We know that he has a say about who comes and goes into the forest house but gwyns mother was given the option to stay in the forest house. Coincidence? I think not.

* I think sangravah is in autumn; the spring court didn’t have a standing temple around the time that Gwyn & cartrin were conceived and born. The Spring court temple was being rebuilt early on in acomaf before it was even stated that the temples were being sacked, Feyre mentioned this. Rhys nor Feyre ever mentioned sangravah when Rhys went to go visit the temple in Cesere multiple times in acomaf & acofas and Rhys only mentioned that one of their temples got sacked for the cauldron foot. Not 2. So I don’t think sangravah is in the night court. Plus it wouldn’t make sense to hide 2 cauldron’s foots in the same court. Plus Lucien also identified sangravah rugs in the house of wind in acowar. Lucien has never been to the night court before acowar, so he either had to see sangravah in spring or in autumn. And since spring didn’t have a temple, it had to be autumn.

* It’s not a coincidence that SJM connected Gwyn to autumn and then expanded on autumn in acosf. I’m wondering will Gwyn go back to get closure on Catrin’s death or if sangravah is even still standing.

The Prison

* Essentially, I think the prison is definitely something that nesta will deal with. But she’s close friends with Azriel and Gwyn and Azriel was there when they learned about the history of the prison.

* Like after reading HOFAS, SJM already left us clues about the prison in acosf. One meeting between Cassian, nesta & Eris showed that, this is what Eris had to say about the prison. “We don’t know why they exist, but do you not find it strange that two out of the three sister mountains have underground palaces carved into them?” “I’d hardly call the Prison a palace,” Cassian cut in. In HOFAS we found out that the prison was in fact a palace at one point. The question is how tf does Eris knows this when the prison gates are keyed to Rhysand’s blood?

* In HOFAS, Bryce, nesta & Azriel go to the prison and find out that it was once a palace which turned into a horrible dark prison to hide 1/3 of Theias star, just how the entire island of Avallen turned gray and dead to hide 1/3 of Theias star. When bryce took part of theias star from avallen, the land turned fresh with life. When she took the star from the prison, she instantly left so we don’t know the outcome of the prison isle.

* But Bryce herself thought that after she left the prison that it too turned back to what it used to be, a fresh island full of life. We also see at the end of HOFAS, baxian called Bryce and hunt to let them know that Pegasus were on Avallen like days later. And they appeared out of no where. Who’s to say Pegasus aren’t going to pop up at the prison now since they belonged to Theia? And we all know that Pegasus are connected to the valkryie in lore. The way SJM had the valkryie talk about miniature Pegasus in acosf and even had the house of wind conjure one for them is not a coincidence.

* Then Helion has 7 pairs of Pegasus, the holy number across sjm’s universes.

* Bryce told nesta to figure out why nesta had the 8 pointed star on her back and gave her the starsword. If Pegasus are going to live there wouldn’t it be perfect for the prison isle to be a valkryie base? @bookofmirths theorized on it and I totally agree. Nesta said in acosf that she wanted to be the general of a female unit.

* I connect this to Azriel because he was there when they found out the history of the prison, he’s still teaching the valkryies, and he’s like 1 of the 4 people that is closest to nesta besides Cassian, Emerie and Gwyn.

* Now the real question is what the heck is going to happen with the creatures in the prison if the isle did transform back to its original state?

* I think nesta in the end will be ruling the dusk court as a valkryie general. The dread trove is connected to the prison and it literally answers to nesta on command. And she now has the starsword. Tho I highly doubt it if she keeps it since she has Atraxia. But I think nesta will def need help getting it together as a valkryie base and like I said, since her and Azriel are good friends I can see him helping her. And we all know the valkryies are going to be right there by her side.

The Valkryies

* Since I think we’ll get a gwynriel book, it’s no brainer that I believe that it would include the Valkyrie.

* Their story is not over. SJM didn’t make the valkryie a major acosf plot point for nothing.

* At the ending of acosf SJM made it be known that the Valkyrie are still training with Cassian & Azriel’s help.

* There are only like a handful of valkryies, I really believe that SJM is going to have more women join the valkryie unit.

* I honestly think SJM is prepping the acotar world for another war with koschei or maybe with the continent. She wouldn’t have nesta wanting to be in charge of a unit of females for nothing. And then further giving nesta more plot development in HOFAS was very deliberate. Honestly, if nesta didn’t already have her story, I would think her book was next.

The shadows

* they came to him when he was locked up in his father’s estate when he was a child & they’re the reason his father threw him in the Illyrian camp finally, to train at age 11.

* I think it’s kind of clear that Azriel’s shadows are sentient

* We know they don’t like sunlight and when they’re hiding him, it can only be when it’s dark.

* They talk to him.

* They are his spies.

* But we also learned new information about them in HOFAS, the fact that they can detect when a person is lying & they cannot turn solid like how Cormac’s shadows were.

* Also it’s clear that the shadows like hearing their favorites sing. They dance around them 😂

Mor

* Mor said that she wanted to come train with the valkryie when she comes back from over seas and I think this gives the perfect opportunity for Azriel and Mor to finally have a mature conversation.

* I personally don’t believe Mor has to out herself to Azriel but I think she will let him know that she never felt that way about him and it was never because something was wrong with him.

* I do think that Azriel has lingering feelings for Mor but I don’t think he’s in love with her any longer.

* Personally I tbink also SJM can build up Mor and Emerie as well, if she decides to go that route.

Azriel's family

* in acofas it was hinted at that Azriel’s mom was still alive and he was going to give her a winter solstice present. And who knows how often he goes to visit her.

* In acosf, Cassian questioned why Azriel’s mom never came to the house of wind library to stay, and we all know what priestess lives there.

* In HOFAS, in the Walmart bonus chapter, Azriel also revealed that his mother is anything but awful.

* From Azriel’s backstory we learned that he had 2 older stepbrothers, his father and step mom and how they all neglected him and abused him. Rhys said they punished his brothers and what we have seen so far I don’t think it was ever confirmed whether his “family” were dead.

What are you guys thoughts about Azriel’s and his potential plot lines?

#azriel acosf #azriel’s shadows #azriel shadowsinger #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #gwynriel #acosf #acotar #gwyneth berdara #pro gwynriel #azriel x gwyn #gwyn and azriel #nesta archeron

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lucysstoryworld · 1 year

Text

Lease of Life | Azriel x Reader part 2

Hey! Thank you all so much for all the love on the first part. I am honestly blown away by the support and didn’t expect it to become so popular, so truly thank you for that. You’re all incredible.

Just a forewarning, it has been awhile since I read acotar so some things won’t be exactly like the book so forgive me :)

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Angst, violence, dark thoughts.

Drip… Drip… Drip…

Was that noise water of blood?

Where am I?

What happened?

The pounding reverberating through your skull was the only thing you were sure of at the moment. The dull, slow throbbing that threatened your already nauseated stomach even if you so much as lifted a finger. It didn’t help that the breathing of whoever was in the cold room with was so damn irritating. Silence is what you needed, craved. Just enough silence that you could exist unnoticed until the pain passed.

Room... breathing..

Realisation dawned upon you, prising your eyes open with such violence that the ache in your head threatened to render you unconscious. Inch by inch, you pushed yourself from the ground, feeling as though you were moving in slow motion. You searched around the room, trying to find the source of the breathing. Trying to find your sisters.

Though you were met with the face of a man. Long, golden hair. Green eyes. Positively handsome. He made a troubled face look exquisite.

“You’re awake. He will be pleased,” He seemed to say more to himself than to you.

“Where are my sisters?” Voice crackled, throat aching for water.

“Safe. That is all you need know, (F/n).”

He had to be joking, “Safe? Safe... How wonderful, a bunch of men come into my home, rip us from our beds and... murder our staff. How safe of you,” Speaking, no, barking at him the way you did was sure to earn you a beating. However, the images of Dina’s snapped neck fuelled the fire raging at the core of your being.

“Males,” He responded, eyes flicking from your own to the damp ground you were currently seated on.

“What?”

“You said men. Fae are not men and women. We say males and females.” You furrowed your eyebrows, staring at the... male as if he had grown a second head.

“So from what I just said to you, all you got was that I incorrectly termed your friends. Whatever.” You seemed to trigger something in him, he curled in on himself slightly.

The moment of vulnerability was short lived when his eyes hardened and he pushed himself to his feet, “You’re more like her than the others. You should keep that smart mouth of yours shut if you know what’s good for you,” Was all he said before he took his leave.

A slight groan and another wave of sickness had you resting your head upon the tiles. At least the cold was smoothing your headache. It lulled you into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

When you awoke once again, it was instead to the sound of heavy footsteps nearing your cell. A cell. Your confusion from before hadn’t allowed you to fully realise your surroundings. Not that you had much to look at. Nor did you have much time to dwell on it. The headache had not passed and this time it had brought a fresh fever. A cold shiver rattled your body before you were hauled to your feet by those who entered your prison. More males. Lifting you seemed to be as easy as lifting paper to them. You were sure these were the beasts humans were taught to fear. Brutal and ruthless. When your feet began to falter, the creatures shoved you with such force that you stumbled into the ones in front of you. Your breaths became laboured, lungs weak and your heart was stuttering in your ears. From the fear or the stress on your body you weren’t sure.

Blackness began to dance in your peripheral vision when you finally stopped in front of a large wooden door. The slight tang of blood hinted at the back of your tongue, as a slow dark stream dribbled from your nose. Before you had the chance to try stump the flow, a shove had you staggering into the large room. The light sent white hot pain spearing through your eye sockets. Once again, hands plunged you forward. This time, there was no one in front to cushion your fall and you slammed onto the floor, your hands barely catching your body.

“You bastard! What did you do to her?!” Nesta’s voice ripped through the room like ice cold water.

Raising your head, you finally saw everything. Your sisters on a dais, kneeling before three crowned women... definitely women. Though the expressions on their faces matched that of the animals that treated you as though you were dirt beneath their feet. Front and centre on the dais was another male whom, like every other fae male and female had a face that seemed to blessed by beauty for which gods kept for themselves. His face was wickedly beautiful, cruelty incarnate. In spite of that, the cauldron in the centre of the room seemed to suck the life out of the room.

No... it consumed it.

You couldn’t tear your eyes from it, even as fear prickled your very soul. It was like it was daring you to look away. Taunting you.

A loud ringing pierced through your hearing, like it was only you and the cauldron. Facing off. It eating into every fear that you possessed.

“(F/n)!”

Feyre’s screech finally had you moving your gaze. She was surrounded by her family, her eyes screaming unbridled terror. Terror for you, Nesta and Elain.

“You lay one traitorous hand on her, Tamlin, and I will make good on the debt owed to me for my mother and sister,” Rhysand growled. Turning your head, you saw the blonde male who greeted you in your cell. He seemed frozen in place, his hand outstretched with a scrap of cloth. You assumed it was for your nose, but you could not bring yourself to take it. Your senses were overridden, panic replacing the blood in your body.

“Now, now. Enough with the theatrics and let us get to the purpose of today.” Everyone’s attention snapped to the man. With a wave of his hand, two men picked Elain up. Elain who was as pale as a sheet of parchment. Elain who made no acknowledgment of the situation thus far. “As promised, human queens. I will show you that immortality can and will be gained.”

Nesta’s thrashing and screaming became violent as she fought with all her might to get to Elain. Be that as it may, her efforts were fruitless. Elain was plunged into the cauldron, seconds and eons seeming to pass simultaneously.

A tingling danced through your fingers, an aura passing through your vision. This wasn’t right. This wasn’t happening. Elain had to be okay. She is to be married soon. With that insufferable, alpha-male Grayson that, in this moment, you wished with all your might would come in and rescue her. Save her from the hell she was plunged into. Loud, rattling breaths racked your body, the thumping to your head returning with a vengeance. You locked eyes with Feyre, trying to tell her what was about to happen with your eyes alone. Pleading with her to make you safe.

And when that blasted cauldron was tipped, and Elain slithered out covered in a sheen of some otherworldly essence was when your eyes rolled back into your head and you dropped to the floor.

* * *

Nesta, Feyre and the inner circle watched in horror as convulsions jerked (F/n)’s body. Feyre thrashed and fought in attempt to get to you with Nesta following suit. “Please let me go to her! Please! She will choke!” Mania seemed to grip Nesta’s body. When she could not break free from her captor’s hands, she began to wail “Just turn her on her side at least! Please!”

Tamlin took it upon himself to hold (F/n) on her side as foam began to leak from the corner of her mouth. “I want her in next!” Hybern boomed, seemingly delighted by the situation. His eyes were focused on the newly fae Archeron sister. Elain, whom was examining her new body, still had not uttered a word. She only turned and watched as a guard ripped her sister’s still seizing body from Tamlin’s grip and approached the cauldron.

Nesta’s crying, Feyre’s roars, all efforts fell on deaf ears as (F/n)’s body disappeared below the surface of the cauldron’s depth.

* * *

Cold, yet warm.

Harsh, yet gentle.

Welcoming, yet uninviting.

All the sensations of the void were at odds with one another.

Darkness. That was the only thing that appeared to be harmonious in this environment. You wished to stay in the peaceful void, though your body screamed at you to get out.

What seemed like an eternity passed when light flooded your senses once more. The peace was short lived when you coughed a black liquid up onto the tiled floor. Your head shot up, eyes meeting that of Azriel’s, whom looked like he had seen a ghost.

“What’s happening?” You all but squeaked, barely remembering anything from entering the room and now. Looking down at yourself, you felt a gentle whirring in your blood. A whirring that felt like you had been born anew. Reborn with a body that felt strong, that bared no hint of the ailments from before.

When your lithe fingers made contact with your ear, it all made sense.

Fae.

“What the fuck,” You whispered to yourself.

A strange scent flooded your nose, something that you could not explain nor had you ever smelled it before. Whatever it was, it felt wrong.

The cauldron.

That’s what it was, you realised when you turned to see Nesta being dragged towards its domineering opening. You wanted to move, ached to run towards her but you felt anchored to the ground with some unmovable force.

You watched with horror as Nesta met the same fate as your own, as her hand remained above the surface, pointed at the man in charge in a silent threat.

In a silent promise.

The general roared, lunging towards your eldest sister. Only to have his wings shredded in the process. Screams erupted from Feyre and her family. Possibly even you, but the sounds all fused as one and you couldn’t find your own in the mix. Seeing that blood pool from his body had you emptying the contents of your stomach onto the floor.

When the cauldron was tipped once again, Nesta’s body flowed with it. You sobbed as you pulled her towards your body, feeling an unmatched terror as she lay motionless.

“C’mon, wake up,” You mumbled, slapping her cheeks.

Moments passed before she sputtered to consciousness. Despite the situation, relief was the only thing you could feel. Relief at her survival. Elain’s. Your own.

“Hybern you son of a bitch!” Morrigan growled, almost animalistic.

“What a perfect outcome! Look,” He gestured from the human queens, to you, “Look at this success. The cauldron even possessed the power to cure the shortcomings of this human girl. Rest assured, you will be immortal. Never again to be plagued by the ailments of a mortal body!”

“You’re psychotic,” You boomed before you realised you were speaking.

The only reply in which you received was a smile that screamed victorious. Like he was the most cunning male to have walked Prythian. Narrowing your eyes, you challenged him. You knew it was idiotic, but you dared him with your gaze to take you on. To jump into the ring with you.

Before he had the inkling to respond, blinding white light exploded throughout the room. Frantically, you tried to find the source. Only to see that it was pulsing from Feyre. Raw power flooded your senses. Flooded from your sister into you, filling you with the purest form of love and protection. Like Feyre actively encased you with all the comfort that she hadn’t in the years since she had left.

When it finally dimmed, she appeared different. Her eyes darted around the room, looking for something.

“Tamlin?” Her panicked... innocent? voice whimpered.

Someone then.

Feyre began a tirade of almost incoherent mumbling about how she had been taken against her will and glamoured this whole time. Confusion rippled down your body, looking from your sister to Tamlin whom looked at Feyre as though she brought the sun and stars to the earth. Looking back at her family, they looked just as bewildered as you felt. It only lasted a second before Morrigan and Azriel were with you. Morrigan clasped both her hands onto you and Nesta, while Azriel lifted Elain.

And from one moment to the next, you went from being seated on the tiled floor with Nesta to the plush carpet of place you had never been. The scent of Feyre lingered throughout the room, providing you with some comfort. It did not last for long.

When it dawned upon you that she was not here, you shot to your feet with legs that had the consistency of jelly. You leaned upon Morrigan, and looked at Rhysand with such anger that it sent that whirring in your blood boiling.

Whispering, for you felt that you could not keep the cap on that boiling sensation if you raised your voice so much as an octave, you said,

“Where is she?”

I hope you enjoyed this! Let me know if there are any mistakes! :)

Tag list: @rebs2210 @meritxellao @blueeclipsepaperstudent @fredssweasleys @pricklepearbloom @emptyporche @the-fae-are-taking-over @kuraikei @garbagecryptid98 @weirdo-fun @balam-sen @judig92 @ruler-of-hades @mysticaldeanvoidhorse @kexrtiz @marina468 @edie-readie @baebeepeach @starswholistenanddreamsanswered @percyjacksonspeen @issybee0611

Please let me know if I missed you and some of the tags wouldn’t work so apologies.

#acotar #acotar azriel #azriel x you #azriel angst #a court of wings and ruin #azriel x reader #azriel #a court of thorns and roses

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