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a-reader-and-a-writer-for-all · 10 months

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Difference of Opinions (Part 2)

Fandom: Spider-Man, Spider-Verse, Across the Spider-Verse, Miguel O'Hara, f!Reader Summary: Miguel left you for dead but you don't give up so easily. And with a little help from a friend, you soon find yourself safe at home. But your relief is short-lived as you are faced with some skeptical Spiders and the fact you will soon have to confront Miguel... Word Count: 4811 TW: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Glitching, Left for Dead, Betrayal Notes: Sorry that Miguel doesn't physically show up in this chapter, but he plays a major part in both the next chapter and the prequel!

Prequel, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Series Masterlist

*Spoilers for Across the Spider-Verse*

The glitching was getting worse. By the time you made it to your lab on the other side of the building, it was happening every thirty seconds or so. You stumbled through the door and crashed into one of the computer consoles as you lost your balance. Every inch of your body ached and felt as fragile as glass. It seemed as if the chemical bonds that held your atoms together were about to shatter leading to you basically vaporizing down to the atomic level. Which you guessed was what was about to happen.

Another glitch hit causing you to crumple to the floor. Once your body realigned itself, you tried to climb back to your feet but you just didn’t have the strength to anymore. Instead, you rolled over to your stomach and began to drag yourself over to your desk. It wasn’t far, but by the time you reached it, you were barely able to lift yourself up to find the hidden compartment underneath. You pressed your thumb to the biometric lock and gave a huge sigh of relief when the drawer popped open. Reaching inside, you pulled out the small cloth bag and held it against your chest.

You knew you had to hurry before another glitch occurred, but you were so exhausted that your fingers were clumsy and fumbled as you tried to untie the bag. It took about three times as long as it should have, but you finally managed to open it up and you slid the contents into your hand.

It had been over a year since you had last held the red amulet but it instantly made you feel stronger. Running your thumb across the spider carved in the stone, you couldn’t help but smile. This little piece of your homeworld didn’t contain any powers on its own, but it helped boost your powers and would hopefully ward off the glitches long enough to send your message.

Sliding back to the floor and laying on your side, you pressed the amulet to your lips as you closed your eyes and concentrated. Your eyes rolled back in your head behind your eyelids and you felt your mind slip into the space where the intricate web of dimensions existed.

This was your power. This was what set you apart from every other Spider-Person and how you had helped Miguel build the Society in the first place. You had the ability to gaze through the veil and see the interconnected web that made up the Acracnoid Humanoid Poly Multiverse. It was also how you got the name Spider-Gazer, or Gaze. It was with this ability you first contacted Miguel’s dimension, traveled to different dimensions without a watch, mapped out hundreds of different Earths and their differences, discovered the Canon and helped Miguel and Lyla design a model so everyone could understand, and how you learned the dangers of trying to change the Canon. None of this would have been possible without you, and now all of your work had been turned against you.

Once you sensed who you were looking for, you whispered, “Hobie, I know you can hear me. I need your help. Please. Come get me before it’s too late. I just want to help Miles. I promise. I–”

A glitch cut you off and you dropped the amulet as your body was once again torn apart and reassembled by this dimension trying to arrange your atoms to fit its unique configuration. As everything somehow managed to right itself once more, a small sob of pain slipped from your lips. Whatever strength or stability you had gotten from the amulet was now gone, and you felt yourself returning to this dimension as you no longer had the strength to continue reaching out across the multiverse. It was all over. This lab that you had built with Miguel and where you spent countless hours lovingly by his side was going to be your final resting place.

You were about to die alone and abandoned.

Your eyes returned to normal as you stabilized but you kept them closed, resigned to just giving in to the encroaching darkness. However, a moment later you heard the familiar crackle of a portal opening up and you peeled your eyes open to see the soft glow of a portal in front of you and a pair of heavy gray-scale boots appeared in your field of vision.

There was the sound of a soft tongue click before a heavily-accented voice said, “Well, lookit here. The queen’s decided to join the rebellion, eh.”

Using the last of your strength to roll over slightly, you looked up at Hobie and gave him a weak smile. “Damn straight.”

His muted palette flickered back to the full-color spectrum as he nodded. “‘Bout bloody time.”

He reached out his hand to help you up but just before his fingers brushed yours, you were hit with a massive glitch and everything went black.

Even before you opened your eyes, you knew where you were. No matter how many dimensions you had traveled to or what sort of protection you used against glitches, no other world made you feel this sense of belonging and inner peace. You were home.

Someone had placed you on a bed and you ran your palm across the sheets beneath you, savoring the feel of the muted faded edges against your skin. It was such a welcome comfort after so long of nothing but hard lines and definitive boundaries surrounding you. You had missed being the only thing around that looked or felt like you.

Every universe was different in at least one way. Sometimes those differences were instantaneously recognizable like obvious aesthetic differences while others might be something so minute it was almost impossible to pinpoint (such as the Earth without the element protactinium or the one where all hummingbirds fly 2% faster than on other Earths).

Though you hadn’t known it until you began to visit other dimensions, the main thing that set your world apart from others was the edges of everything. There was no sharp cut-off or firm line around you. Instead, your outline sort of dissolved away to nothing. It had been a terrifying encounter the first time you met Miguel with his pronounced angular cheekbones and well-defined figure. Though to be fair, he was just as perturbed by your appearance.

Miguel had once described it as if someone had smudged your edges until they were all blurred and hazy. Recently, Gwen had found a more artistic way of describing it. She compared most universes to art with sharp edges while yours was more of a soft edge, like the background of a watercolor or oil painting. But regardless of how others described you, the fact was you and those from your universe weren’t as solid or stable as most.

It was why the glitches hit you so much harder and more frequently than any of the other Spider-People. Your genetic structure was already less tightly bound than those from other dimensions which made you more susceptible to the glitches. That plus the fact your powers were connected to the multiverse and attracted multidimensional energy whenever you left your home meant that you couldn’t survive outside of your own universe without the stabilizers for very long. Something you had once learned the hard way.

Opening your eyes, you glanced around the room and were shocked to find it wasn’t just any room. It was your room. The one you had lived in a few years ago as you were learning how to traverse the multiverse. Back before you had left your world to help build the Spider Society. You wondered how Hobie knew to bring you here.

You were still in your Spider-Gazer costume though you spotted your mask laying on the table next to the bed. And right beside it was your amulet. Thankfully, Hobie must have grabbed it from where you had dropped it before he brought you here. You reached over and picked it up, a fresh wave of energy flowing through you as you did. For a moment, you had thought you might have lost it forever and that thought had devastated you. After all, it had been in your family for more generations than anyone could remember and it was what had originally helped connect you to the Acracnoid Humanoid Poly Multiverse. Your powers might not have come from it, but it amplified them which had allowed you and Miguel to accomplish all the things you had thus far. In fact, without the amulet, you never would have been able to reach out to Miguel in the first place.

Miguel….

Honestly, you weren’t sure how to feel about what had happened or what he did to you. Loyalty and commitment to him and your mission to protect the multiverse meant everything to him and you had gone against both to try and help Miles. After everything he had been through, you could understand why Miguel was so devastated by your betrayal. However, that didn’t excuse the fact he left you caged and glitching on your own with only one possible outcome….

You were pulled from your train of thought as the door opened and Pavitr walked in holding a cup of water. But when he saw you looking back at him, he dropped the cup– spilling water across the floor –and run from the room hollering, “Guys! She finally woke up!”

A minute later, he returned with Gwen, Peter B. Parker, and Mayday trailing behind. As you struggled to sit up slightly, Mayday shot a web above your head and swung over to land directly in your lap. Before Peter could snatch her away, you drew her close and snuggled your face into the top of her knit spider-hat. She hugged you back as you cooed, “Hey there, little one.”

“Mayday…” her father muttered as he held out his arms, but you shook your head.

“It’s fine, Peter. I’m okay.” However, you noticed the nervous look that he exchanged with Gwen and you felt a deep pit open up in your stomach as you realized their concern. “Ah. You’re not worried about me. You’re worried about her with me.”

Peter shifted uncomfortably as he rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s nothing against you, Gaze. It’s just we don’t really know where you stand right now.”

“Well, I seem to recall the last time I saw you, you were heading back to your dimension while I was left glitching out of existence in a cage,” you snapped. “But I can see why I would be the one whose loyalty is being questioned.”

Peter stared at the floor, unable to meet your eye. “You’re right. You helped Miles, even when most of us tried to follow Miguel’s plan. But Gaze, you’re Miguel’s girl. I’ve known the two of you longer than almost any other member of the Society and I’ve seen what you are both willing to do for the other. How do we know you aren’t going to tell him we’re all here, what we are planning, and have him come to this universe to stop us?”

“First of all, may I repeat that he left me in a cage to glitch into nothing?” There was more venom in your voice than you intended and you felt Mayday cower slightly in your arms. Instantly regretting your tone, you kissed her softly on the top of her hat and released her to return to her father’s arms. She smiled up at you before she swung away, and you were glad at least she seemed to have forgiven you.

Taking a deep breath, you continued in a softer, calmer tone. “Second of all, Miguel can’t come to this dimension even if I wanted him to. We had a fight once and he kept following me across dimensions when I tried to walk away. After that, we decided that this– my home dimension –would be a safe place for me to go where he couldn’t follow when I needed some space. So I used my powers to ward it so he can’t enter this dimension. Even with his watch.

“And third of all, I love Miguel deeply, but in this case, he’s too blinded by his pain and loss to really look at this situation objectively. So you need me because I may be the only one who can get through to him and make him see that.”

Peter caught Mayday as he exchanged a look with Gwen. They both still seemed slightly skeptical of you and your motives and you tried to keep your frustration from coming back. They had been just as involved in Miguel’s plan to stop Miles as you had been, maybe even more so seeing as they were his friends. And you had tried to help Miles even as they had continued to try and make him see the logic of Miguel’s actions. They may not have agreed with how Miguel went about it, but they were full supporters of not letting Miles try to save his dad. Only you and Hobie had originally wanted to let him try and go against the Canon. Yet you were still the one who was considered a threat to Miles. The hypocrisy was unbelievable.

But as Gwen opened her mouth to say something, Pavitr jumped in. “Guys, come on! Just trust her already!”

Gwen shook her head. “Pav, I’m sorry but you weren’t there. It’s more complicated than that.”

“No, but Hobie was and he trusts her. He never would’ve brought all of us here otherwise. And if Hobie’s willing to trust someone, that’s good enough for me.” He gave you a bright smile and you almost burst into tears.

“Thanks, Pav.” You glanced around at the other Spiders in front of you. “Well? He’s right. You either trust me and we start working together to save Miles or you don’t and you should get the hell out of my apartment and let me rest.”

Gwen shot Peter another look. After a moment’s hesitation, he shrugged in her direction as he placed Mayday in her carrier. “It’s up to you. You’re the one who gathered us all here and you’re the one who knows Miles the best. If you think we can trust her…”

Chewing on her lip, Gwen considered the situation. The longer she stared at you, the more the anger and frustration began to build in your chest once more. But just as you were about to tell them all to forget it and to get out of your dimension, Gwen said, “Pav’s right. Hobie doesn’t trust people easily so if he trusts her, then we should too.”

Peter sighed and held up his hands. “Whatever you say. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you if this goes sideways.”

“Yeah, Peter, because it’s never your fault is it?” you ruefully chuckled, ashamed by the way it caught in your throat. Seeing him still doubt you even now hurt more than you wanted to admit. Glaring at him, you spat, “It’s true what you said. I’ve known you for longer than almost anyone else, and yet you still turned your back on me and walked away when I needed you most.”

Peter’s face darkened as he looked away. Gwen must have noticed whatever fragile peace your group had settled on was at risk of falling apart already because she said, “Um, can I speak to Gaze on my own?”

Pavitr –who had been anxiously watching your back and forth with Peter– sighed in relief and nodded. With another wide smile in your direction, he hurried from the room.

Peter began to follow him, but he hesitated at the door. Without looking back at you, he muttered, “I’m sorry. You were right. I left you there in that cage knowing what would probably happen. I wanted so badly to help you but I had Mayday and I couldn’t…. I couldn’t risk what Miguel might do to her if I tried to interfere.”

Your glare softened a bit at the pain and regret in Peter’s voice. You knew he was right. If Miguel was angry enough to turn on you, there was no telling what he would have done to anyone else who tried to cross him at that moment. And you would never want Mayday to be put in danger, despite what that meant for your own safety.

So, you sighed, “It’s okay, I get it. Your daughter comes first. Always. And that’s how it should be.” You squeezed your amulet still in your fist tighter and tried not to think of your own family or what they had done to keep you safe. “Regardless of how I feel about what happened, you should know I think you’re a fantastic father and Mayday is so lucky to have you.”

Peter’s head whipped around to face you and you saw tears welling up in his eyes as his lips began to tremble. He opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but then closed it again without a sound. Then he nodded once and hurried from the room.

Gwen watched him walk away for a moment before she shut the door. “That was really sweet of you to say.”

“He tries so hard with that kid, he deserves to know it isn’t in vain.” You pushed yourself up so you were in more of a sitting position and asked, “So now that we trust each other, where’s Hobie? I want to thank him for coming to get me.”

“He’s out looking for parts to build more watches. I have a few other friends I want to bring with us to look for Miles but we’re afraid that if we use Miguel’s watches, he’ll be able to track us.”

You nodded. “He can, so that’s good thinking. That’s why I called Hobie for help instead of any of you.”

“What do you mean?”

“I taught him how the watches worked a few months ago. I was tinkering with a broken one and he kept looking over my shoulder so I walked him through how they worked. Then I noticed him swiping equipment and parts ever since you all arrived at HQ earlier today. So when I needed help, I figured he would have assembled his own untrackable watch by now… Or at least, I hoped he had.”

Gwen shook her head. “But if you knew he was building his own watch before everything went wrong, why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Since when does Hobie listen to anything anyone tells him?” you chuckled. “If I would have told him to stop, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Besides, after seeing how worked up Miguel was getting over Miles already, I had a feeling it wasn’t a terrible idea for there to be a non-Society watch out there somewhere. Turns out, I was right.”

“So you did know Miguel was going to do that to Miles.”

Sighing, you said, “We all knew what he was planning, Gwen. And we all agreed to it so we could uphold the Canon. I just…. I never thought Miguel would take things that far.”

Gwen hesitated for a moment before she asked, “It can’t be true, can it? Did Miguel really leave you imprisoned without a watch knowing what that would mean? Did he…. Did he really leave you to die? I just can’t believe it. He loves you. Everyone knows that.”

You stared down at the amulet in your hands, unable to look her in the face. In a small voice, you said, “Miguel isn’t a bad man. He’s just been hurt in the past like all of us. And like all of us, he’s found ways to cope with his pain and loss. One of those ways is cutting out anyone or anything that he feels may hurt him again or betray him. And I did both.”

“But what Miguel was doing was wrong!”

“You didn’t see it that way at first.” You lifted your eyes to stare at Gwen and it was her turn to look away. “I’m not judging you, Gwen. I know how hard it had to be to lie to Miles about what was about to happen and to try to keep him from stopping it. We’ve all had to accept the losses that come with being a Spider–” Your mind once again flashed to your mother and late fiance, but you quickly push them from your thoughts “– but Miles is new to this. He may have lost his uncle a while ago, but finding out he was also about to lose his father was never going to be an easy thing to accept.” You gave her a soft but pointed look. “Just like you refusing to go home because you can’t accept your own father’s impending death.”

“But that’s just it…” Gwen came and sat on the edge of your bed. “I did go home. Miguel sent me there and I saw my dad. He’s quitting his job which means he’ll no longer be a captain. He doesn’t have to die anymore! The Canon of my universe changed! So, maybe Miles can change his dad’s fate too!”

You didn’t have the heart to tell her the truth. Canon events had shifted in the past, switched from one person to another, but they never failed to come to pass. Or if they did, it led to the potential collapse of that universe. Her father may no longer be the captain she was close to who would die, but that didn’t mean another captain wouldn’t take his place eventually. However, that was a conversation for another time.

So instead, you gave her a small smile and nodded. “I’m glad, Gwen. Really, I am. And I agree that Miles has a chance to change the Canon. It’s why I tried to stop all of this before things got so out of hand. Miles is unlike anyone I have ever seen before. It’s true he’s an anomaly but he’s not a fatal one. I can see that he’s connected to the multiverse and the Canon and yet is also separated from it. I’ve never encountered anything like it before. I just wish I would have realized it sooner. Then maybe I could have convinced Miguel to let Miles at least try to save his father. Maybe then Miguel wouldn’t have… wouldn’t have–”

You shook your head, unable to finish the words that were too painful to say out loud. It had been one thing when you had snapped them in anger at Peter, but now, when you were calm and able to fully face what Miguel had done to you, it was different. You just kept seeing that dead expression on his face and the cold gleam in his red eyes just before he hurled you across the room. The sound of his complete lack of emotion as he snapped, “She made her bed, now she can die in it.”

You and Miguel had been in each other’s lives for so long. Even before you started your romantic relationship, the two of you had been extremely close friends and partners. Sure, you had had your ups and downs, but nothing anywhere close to this. At that moment, he truly hadn’t cared what happened to you. And even if there was a chance he changed his mind and tried to come back for you, it didn’t undo what he had done or said. But while your head continued to scream these things at you, your heart couldn’t let him go– at least not yet.

However, if there was any hope of reconciling with Miguel, what you had planned next would obliterate that sliver of a chance. But it was the right thing to do.

Taking a deep breath, you said, “I know how to find Miles.”

Gwen stared at you in surprise. “What? How? I already checked Earth-1610 and he’s not there which means the Go Home machine messed up and he could literally be in any other universe.”

“How do you think?” you scoffed as you let your eyes roll back into your head and the room around you melted away into the familiar glow of the multiverse. “I just need something of his to tune into.”

“Here!” You felt Gwen jump off the bed and out the door. A moment later, you heard her return and place a soft piece of clothing in your hand. “It’s his jacket. I took this when I visited his place on Earth-1610. It’s pretty worn out so I’m guessing he wore it a lot.”

Feeling the residual energy radiating from it, you nodded. “Yeah, this should work. Just give me a few minutes.”

Mentally, you reached out into the tangled web of dimensions as you searched for the person who matched the feel of the jacket in your hand. You found several who were close– Miles Morales’s from other Earths –but not the one you were looking for. Finally, you were drawn to a cluster of Earths to your left and headed in that direction. A moment later, you caught a hint of what you were looking for. And what was more, your Miles didn’t seem to be alone….

Leaving the dimensional void, you sagged back heavily on your pillow with a soft sigh of exhaustion. Normally, a search like that would have barely registered to you, but you were still drained from being almost glitched out of existence.

After collecting yourself, you nodded at Gwen. “I got him. He’s on Earth-42. And it seems he’s found the Miles of that universe.”

“Oh!” Gwen said in surprise. “What does that mean?”

“Potentially nothing, but meeting your doppelganger from another dimension isn’t always easy to accept. You’ll need to approach the situation carefully when you go get him.”

“Me? What about you?”

“I’m going after Miguel.” You saw the skepticism spark on Gwen’s face. “It’s okay. I’m not going to tell him where Miles is. But while you guys go find Miles, get him home, and try to stop Spot so you can save his dad, I need to try and stall Miguel. Maybe I can finally talk some reason into him.”

At that, Gwen’s skepticism shifted to worry. “The last time you tried that, he left you for dead.”

“True, but I wasn’t prepared because I never imagined he would stoop to that level. Now that I know the extent he’s willing to go, I’m ready for him. I know Miguel better than anyone else. I know his strengths and weaknesses, and I know how to stop him if I have to. And if nothing else, I can buy you guys some time.”

“He could kill you. For real this time.”

“Yeah, he could.” You looked down at your amulet. You could still back out. Go with Gwen and the others instead of trying to face Miguel. But you knew this was their best chance for success, even if that meant you might not be there to see it.

Sliding your amulet over your head and letting it fall to its rightful place on your neck, you said, “I should already be dead, but Hobie saved me. The least I can do is try to use that life I was given back to save my friends.”

Gwen took your hand and gave it a tight squeeze. “Thank you.”

You smiled and squeezed her hand back. “I just need a little more time to regain my strength. What I need to do takes a lot of energy and I’m just not there yet. But I should be ready by the time Hobie finishes the watches and you get your other friends on board. Then we’ll each go do what we have to in order to set things right.”

This wasn’t going to be easy. You still loved Miguel and you knew despite what he did that you would love him until your last breath. But this was no longer about the two of you. In fact, it never really was. Miles was different– special –and he might be the key to discovering a way to change the Canon for all Spider-People. No more destined loss, no more unavoidable pain. But only if Miguel will listen to you and what you have seen. And that was a really big what if.

As Gwen left the room to fill everyone else in and let you rest, you picked up your amulet from where it rested on your chest and placed a soft kiss on the cold stone. Sending out a small tendril of power through the multiverse in the hopes he might hear you, you thought, I’m coming, my love. Whether you’re happy to see me or not.

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okkotsuus · 1 year

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break my heart again (rin i.) !

features: rin i.

contents: sae and rin's past spoilers. string language. childhood friends to lovers. angst. hurt no comfort. fluff at the beginning. crying. lowk the one that got away. 3.2k words.

pt.2

you knew your time with itoshi rin was limited. but, for him, you’d take the pain again and again just to see his turquoise eyes.

professional athletes are infamous for trouble with relationships. whether it’s cheating, publicity, or just flat out being too busy. but you couldn’t help it. you were unable to allow your logical mind to resist the charm of rin.

you first meet him during one of his brother’s soccer matches, back when the both of you weren’t tall enough to see without standing on the bleachers. his chubby face turned to you when you stood next to him, you swear that was the moment that you first fell in love with him.

at the tender age of seven, your heart was already claimed by rin itoshi. it would stay that way for the rest of your life, no matter how many times he would throw it aside: it had always been his and his alone.

you just smiled at him, watching as his sparkly eyes widened, his pale cheeks flushing. he looked away, a pout on his tender face. “who’s your favorite?” the question he asked had your grin widening, excited to blab mindlessly (as seven year olds do).

“number eleven! he’s so cool, i think he’ll be the best in the whole world one day!” that was the moment rin itoshi noticed you, the moment that set everything into motion.

he was so excited as he began to talk about him, number eleven: his beloved older brother. “isn’t he?? he’s my older brother, and he will become the best in the whole-wide world!” his eyes sparkled like gems while the both of you began to chatter, commenting on every single thing that happened in the game. you cheered whenever sae scored, jumping on the bleachers beside each other. this was when rin claims he fell in love with you.

when the game had ended, rin held your hand in his as he led you to the sidelines. you looked down at your interconnected hands, cheeks heating up. the smile on your face was a lot more pure now, genuine in its whole.

“big brother, big brother! you’re so cool !!” sae turned to look at rin, then his eyes flickered over to you, making you slide behind the younger boy’s back. you couldn’t tell if it was shyness from meeting your favorite local player, or if it was from meeting the most important person to the boy who was still holding your hand.

“thank you, rin. who’s your friend here?” sae was now looking dead at you with a muffled curiosity in his eyes. rin didn’t get along with most people, he was quiet and tended to avoid kids his age; favoring his brother and kids sae’s age. but here he was holding your hand, while your face was hidden in his back. sae also did not fail to muss the rosy hues on his younger brother’s chubby cheeks.

“this is y/n! they’re a fan ‘f yours too, they’re so awesome aren’t they?” rin pulled you from behind him resting his hands on your shoulders as he presented you like a prize. your eyes widened as you were forced to meet the gaze of the older boy, weakly waving. you began to stutter out a greeting but stopped yourself, not wanting to risk embarrassment. your little hands reached down to fiddle with the end of your shirt as heat crept up the back of your neck in anxiety.

what if sae didn’t like you? what if he thought you were just some lame little kid? what if that made rin hate you?

your spiraling thoughts were interrupted by the boy with light red hair, he placed a hand on your head and gently ruffled your hair. your eyes gleamed as you looked up at him, watching as he turned to rin, whispering about something.

suddenly, rin let out a shout as his face went bright red, sae looking at him with a smug grin. at the time, you had no clue what was going on. but now, you know it was sae helping push along the future, unintentionally.

“y/n, you wanna come over for dinner?” sae said it so nonchalantly while rin was off to the side with his face buried in his palms. you couldn’t help but nod, not a word slipping past your lips. maybe you were still starstruck, but more likely it was due to the flushed boy who walked beside you while taking you hand in his.

ever since, you and rin were inseparable. you were there just about every moment he could recall in his childhood, the same could be said for you with him.

when rin too began to play soccer, you were with him all the way. whether it be helping him practice, bringing him snacks when he stayed out a little too late, and cheering him on. it wasn’t as fun without rin holding your hand when you watched the game, but you didn’t care. he was so happy playing with his brother that any sadness melted away.

and when sae left to pursue his career in spain, you were right next to rin. you cried with him, crystalline tears dripped down your cheeks while you cupped his face to wipe his.

“y/n, promise you’ll never leave me.” his hands reached to hold your shoulders, so he could look at you. tears unshed laid along his waterline, kept in by his long lashes. his eyes were like polished gemstones.

“not for the world, rinnie!” your mouth displayed a wobbly grin as your palms still rested against his cheeks. on this day, when you and rin were reaching towards twelve years old: was the first time he told you he loved you.

“i love you, so never go, okay?” you were sure you had the most dumbstruck look on your face then, tears welling again; this time in happiness. the wobbly grin became a beaming smile as your hands left his face, opting to wrap your arms around his neck instead. the sudden weight imbalance sent rin tumbling to the ground beneath you, but you didn’t care. his arms wound around your back as his face buried in your neck.

“i love you too rinnie!” this time, him holding your hand as he dragged you around had a lot more meaning. watching him play soccer had a lot more meaning. his turquoise eyes held a lot more meaning.

two years later, rin played in the finals for his prefectural soccer tournament. the score was currently 2-1, in his team's favor. rin was racing towards the goal, ball in his possession. he effortlessly dribbled around defender after defender.

despite his teammates practically begging for him to pass, rin would not, he didn’t need to. ever since sae had left, rin became his replacement. playing the soccer of two brothers alone, and pulling it off nearly seamlessly.

if it was up to rin, he didn’t need a team. he would only ever truly play with one person: his brother.

rin bluffed a shot, grinning as the goalie jumped for a ball that wasn’t there. he reeled his leg back and fired like a cannon, the ball sinking deep into the center of the net.

the crowd went wild, everyone cheered as the game ended, rin’s team won 3-1, all goals being scored by him. cameras flashed, rin’s face split in a bright grin as he shouted, being swamped by his teammates. rin ran past them to the sidelines, where you stood, waiting with nothing but pure admiration in your eyes.

he wiped his face with his sleeve as he came to a stop in front of you, heavy breaths fanning across your face. you cupped his face and smiled, feeling the warmth of his skin against your fingertips.

“good job rinnie, ‘m so proud of you.”

rin’s eyes widened as a flush overtook his face, one from something other than exertion. his eyes softened as one of his hands cupped your own cheek, smiling softly as you leaned into his touch; like how a flower leans towards the light.

“love you, so so much…” rin’s gaze had your heart filled with butterflies, your face growing hot as you mumbled out a soft ‘love you too’.

his face inched closer, none brushing against yours. your hands slipped off his cheeks to rest against his chest: which rose and fell rapidly beneath his jersey. he stilled, breath fanning against your lips as his eyes studied your face.

when you and rin were just fourteen years old, he kissed you for the very first time.

“jus’ kiss me already rin…”

he did so, pressing his lips softly against yours as your eyes fluttered shut. his hand felt the warmth that seeped from your cheek, he was so close you could feel his lashes flutter against your skin.

when you two separated, you ignored the flashing and clicking of camera shutters. the shouts of the crowd and the teases of his teammates fell on deaf ears. all you knew was rin itoshi at that moment, and all he knew was y/n l/n.

but your time with itoshi rin was limited, and yet again, things were set in motion by itoshi sae.

two more years later, you sit against the turf as rin shoots off some strikes. the fake grass slid between your fingers as you babbled about how cool his game-winning goal was that day.

snow began to gently fall from the sky, you shivered and watched as your breath fanned in front of you.

as rin shot again, you noticed the man that stood behind the two of you. sae.

“wasn't that shot a bit shoddy?” sae came into view as a shiver crawled up your spine, he looked so dead. rin spun around with a smile to greet his brother, only to pause for the same reason.

you rose to your feet to stand beside rin, your hand clasping his. you didn’t know what had happened, but you could tell that something was incredibly off with sae. what had happened in spain?

the brothers began to idly chat, but your unease just grew with every word that came out of the older itoshi��s mouth.

“instead of becoming the best striker, i will become the best midfielder in the world.” rin’s eyes went blank as his hand tightened around yours, his being shook for a moment. you felt your brows furrow as you stared at sae, confused.

“huh… what’re you? you’re a striker right? what’s the point of becoming the best at something other than that..?” rin’s breath fanned in plumes in front of him, sweat dripping down the side of his cheeks despite the biting cold.

“..shut up. you’re only saying that because you don’t know the world.”

rin’s teeth grit as his jaw ticked. he let go of your hand, letting it fall; cold nipping as soon as it left his own gloved one. his eyes were wide in shock, you felt your lips purse as you watched the contortion of his pained expression.

“what the hell… don’t just decide on your own like that! you sae we were going to fight together, right…? you told me to become the best after you!”

you didn’t hear what sae had answered, too focused on the heartbreak that displayed in those turquoise eyes you loved so deeply.

“i don’t want that! i’m the younger brother of the world’s best striker!” rin shouted, he poured his heart out to sae’s cold gaze.

the flurried snow began to feel a lot colder.

“did you come back here to spout those pathetic things?! i didn’t want to see you like this! you…”

“rinnie, stop.” you tugged on his sleeve, but he didn’t notice. you knew he was about to say something he’d regret. something that would ruin their relationship. sae was the most important person in rin’s life, this you knew.

“you’re not the same brother… i shared a dream with !!” sae’s eyes had some life returned to them for the briefest moment. for the smallest moment you saw regret in those cold eyes, but then it was all gone.

“how lukewarm.” you stepped back as sae took a ball, feeling tears well in your eyes.

you had known the itoshi brothers for the last eight years of your life. never once did they fight, sure they argued and bantered, but this was a falling-out. this was a family matter, one you did not dare to intervene in, lest you make it worse. you had stopped listening, only tuning back in now.

“but if i win… your and my dream ends right here.”

rin’s gaze hardened at the acclaim that his brother made. “what the heck? our dream will be over if i lose? you can’t just decide that on your own, big brother…”

“that’s why, all you have to do is win, and then i’ll believe in it again.”

“don’t joke around! that’s…”

“let’s go rin.”

sae’s eyes were dead, you wondered when the light in him had died. but as he charged forwards you knew that rin would be overcome. in a way, there was no way he could win. rin respected sae far too much to truly be able to fight against him. even though he said that this wasn’t the same sae earlier, in his heart he was still his beloved big brother. and in his heart, his beloved big brother is the best striker in the whole-wide world.

“rin, in the four years i’ve been away, what have you been doing here?” your eyes widened as just like that the ball was secured deep into the net, rin now on his knees.

“wait… big brother. after you went away i… i did my best… to become the best in japan/// and then get scouted like you did.”

you sunk down next to rin, not touching him. you sat and listened as he desperately begged for sae to reconsider. your cheeks were wet as you watched the despondency of the boy you had loved since the tender age of eight.

“then fucking quit. you’re lukewarm. did you want me to console you or something? dumbass.”

your mouth fell open as sae looked down at rin like he was scum on the bottom of his shoe. the ringing in your ears loudened, only able to hear your rapid heartbeat as you watched your childhood idol tear into the one person you loved in this world, like it was nothing.

“but to me, you’re just an eyesore of an annoying younger brother. and you’re wasting your time with y/n, they’ll hold you back from your dreams.” now, your tears were flowing freely down your cheeks as he looked at you too with such disgust.

this pain that curled in the core of your being was nothing compared to the heart-shattering grief that coursed through rin’s veins as he watched his beloved big brother walk away; suitcase in tow.

“get lost rin. you’re not necessary in my life anymore.”

“big… brother…”

rin’s lip wobbled as he just at there, staring down at the ground. tears began to fall down his cheeks as you sniffled next to him. maybe sae was right, you probably were a waste of rin’s time.

you and rin went back to his house, sitting silently on his bed as the tv displayed sae. he clicked it off immediately, bringing his knees closer to his chest.

suddenly he began to tear apart his room, destroying every trophy and picture of him and sae. you just watched blankly, not wanting to overstep. he was so incredibly angry and you couldn’t blame him. his teeth grit as he stared ahead with such pure, undistilled rage that it made you fearful.

rin itoshi was never the same after his brother broke his heart.

soon, he received a letter in the mail, for some sort of training camp called blue lock. you knew he was going, without hesitation.

“congratulations, rinnie.” his eyes flickered to you, that turquoise that you had loved for eight years now were hollow. eerily similar to sae’s on the day that he broke his younger brother. rin was never the same.

“it’s expected, this place better not be lukewarm.”

“i’ll miss ya, y’know”

he didn’t answer, just clicking his tongue as looking away. that was the first time that itoshi rin broke your heart. at the age of sixteen, he left you too, despite making you swear that you wouldn’t leave him.

not much longer later, rin itoshi broke your heart for a second time, after the match between blue lock and the japanese u-20 team. after the game, you went to see him in the locker rooms. you came in and saw him sitting silently with a towel over his head.

when you sat beside him, he didn’t acknowledge you. you silently rested your head on his shoulder, just happy to be near him after being apart for so long.

“you did great, ‘m so proud of you rinnie.”

“you’re lukewarm, don’t give me worthless praise for a shoddy performance. even now… i couldn’t beat him.”

your eyes widened, feeling tears begin to well up in your eyes. you blinked them away, knowing that he was hurting. you sighed and remained next to him. you knew that he didn’t mean it.

rin was freed from blue lock for two weeks after that, of which; you only saw him once. that was the third and final time rin itoshi broke your heart.

you invited him to come to a cafe with you, wanting just to see him. he agreed, now sitting in front of you while you talked about something that you forgot. you didn’t remember much about what had happened prior, only the pain you felt.

“let’s break up,” his words were so sudden, taking you completely off guard.

“w-what… rin, what?”

“you’re holding me back, i need to leave you to progress in soccer.”

in that moment, you were drawn back to the day that sae broke rin’s heart, the day he said words that were echoing now in your mind. tears flowed freely down your cheeks as rin stood and left.

now you know the pain rin felt that day, when his world died. but unlike him, you weren’t angry. you had come to peace with this future when sae uttered it, knowing that one day it would become an inevitable truth.

because rin itoshi was always following in his beloved big brother’s footsteps, even if he knew it or not.

okkotsuus 23

#bllk #bllk x reader #blue lock #blue lock x reader #bllk angst #blue lock angst #rin itoshi #rin itoshi x reader #itoshi rin #itoshi rin x reader #rin x reader #bllk rin #blue lock rin #itoshi rin angst #rin angst #itoshi #sae #itoshi sae

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leclewi · 23 days

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do you long for having your heart interlinked?

╰► angst !!! so much angst

wrote this one, cuz i’m sad and that’s how i cope with my own pain 😃 i’m so sorry if this is shitty !!! or too sad. PLSS LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINKKK

the bathroom was completely fogged by smoke from the hot water in the bathroom, creating humidity and heat in the small cubicle.

charles' body was tired, the same pain since you left, since that day, the same tiredness, the same fatigue. his hand wiped the moisture from the mirror, revealing his reflection, his hair wet and messy, his waist wrapped in a towel while his chest was left bare.

there was always something he heard about interconnected souls. if one died and left, the other would live and celebrate life. what a pathetic lie.

his body was tired, his mind was empty, at the same time his heart was heavy, he felt nothing. It was as if his body was connected to yours, you died and he went with it.

they took from him the lost piece that today he needs and seeks so much. she's gone.

your spirit floated around him, like the echo of you that remained in every shadow and every breath he breathed. you were a whisper in his ear, a chill on his spine, a tingle in his foot.

your spirit was always with him. but it wasn’t you, it could never be you.

your body, however, was dead. and his soul became lifeless with each passing breath he took - for he knew something was missing.

reluctantly, he changed, got dressed. when he was ready, he sighed, ran his hand through his hair, the same way you did, and left the bathroom.

but he had no direction. he didn't know where to go. He didn't know where to find you, because today is the day that marks your death and he didn't know where to go.

memories raced through his head, your voice, laugh, the way you moved. God, everything was repeating itself in his head.

he went to his tomb. the tombstone filled with flowers for you, the memories and love everyone paid for you. it was pretty to see, beautiful.

but, sad and depressing for him. — He took a few minutes looking around, getting used to the place. he squatted down and placed the flowers there.

and all he saw was a memorial to a pretty girl. his girl. all he saw was a hole that he hadn't found the key to and that he never would. his heart was beating hard, echoing through his body. he leaned against the tombstone, reading the written words.

he missed you, he missed knowing you, he missed hearing your voice, he missed looking next door and having you there, he missed the way he loved you. he missed it.

he missed it, because that's not how interlinked souls work, they need their half to function. they need the other person's heart to beat so they can feel their own beating with ardor and desire, not automatic beats without any purpose.

“take it easy up there, mon ange.” he whispered after looking up and getting up, to sit at the bench in front of the gravestone.

interlinked? interlinked.

#charles leclerc #16 #imagines #charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc x you #angst #leclewi #charles leclerc imagines #blurbs #headcanons #sad #y/n x charles leclerc #f1 x reader

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harpieisthecarpie · 6 months

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Harp rants about Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang AGAIN

The dichotomy of Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang in Link Click is, to me, a painful one that I understand both sides of. That I think is so meaningful, and wherever you fall within that dichotomy will tell you a lot about yourself.

The dichotomy

Lu Guang: I love you so much it makes me selfish Cheng Xiaoshi: I love you so much I can be selfless

Both matter. Both are perfectly okay to feel, to accept, to fall into. And what's wonderful about Link Click is that these mindsets both hurt them and heal them, but from what I can tell are never demonized or shown as wrong.

They see each other, even if they don't know all of the other's secrets. They don't need the answer to everything to love their best friend, their partner.

Not to be lame, but it's very much "I could recognize him by touch alone, by smell; I would know him blind, by the way his breaths came and his feet struck the earth. I would know him in death, at the end of the world" (Probably a Song of Achilles quote).

They orbit each other and I truly believe in any universe, any timeline Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang would find each other, not by fate but by sheer force of will. They have been irrevocably changed by each other's presence. There is something found in the other that nothing and no one else could provide.

It's why hands and their clapping is so important throughout the show, why there is so much focus on it. They reach out to each other, a show of vulnerability and trust. Fate isn't grabbing a hand. No, that's choice. That's real love. Through adversity I am with you. Every time I choose you. You are my choice. You are my choice. You are my choice.

I was talking to @fluffy-rulos and I ended up rambling something I think is neat. The vulnerability they show each other is truly "I give you the pieces of me that have been broken, the shards that cut into my hands. You could hurt me, stab me in the back, carve into my heart with them. But I hope you won't. I'll give you my faith and my trust. Know neither are blind." (All from me, baybeee)

Cheng Xiaoshi and Lu Guang show love in different ways, feel it and know it differently, but ultimately it is the intersection of their devotion, their trust, and their dichotomies.

They are juxtaposed, oxymoronic, irrevocably interconnected ideas.

And they are both so, so, so human.

#link click #link click spoilers #shiguang daili ren #shiguang #guangshi #cheng xiaoshi #lu guang #sorry for the very long rant i am mad caffeinated #and i spent like an hour and a half rambling about lc with rulos #thanks rulos ily #also does any of this make sense????

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bunnyuki · 4 months

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ONEIRIC adjective * relating to dreams or dreaming, something dream-like. ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ) gift for: @darlingspeach

DREAMS ARE LITTLE windows created by pieces of your mind. pain woven by unconscious parts that build your brain, hurting you without being aware. dark corners become absolute in nightmares, completely dominating your perceptions and trapping you in a web of fear and pain. your heart could even stop, depending on how terrifying the dream is — if it’s too much for your mind, your body won’t be able to handle it.

there is a strongly, linked bond that becomes absolute dependence between these two: body and mind. interconnected by flesh, bones and nerves, an intrinsic strength that could never be broken while the individual is alive and aware. flesh can be cut and bruised, bones can break, nerves can be destroyed. but the body affects the mind and vice versa, so that it is impossible to separate them completely — in normal conditions. the body feels what the brain wants it to feel, psychologically creating feelings in scenarios that may not even be real. it’s as fascinating as it is scary.

it’s not uncommon for MEGUMI to dream about you. likewise, it is normal for dreams to contain people we know, and especially people we love. he may be tormented by endless nightmares, recalling the most difficult moments of his life — or false moments.

he can see it clearly, like distant memories brought to the surface: his friends getting hurt, closing their eyes to an eternal sleep that has nothing sweet about it. and after all these dreams, he wakes up in a cold sweat. his eyes widen to stare at the dark ceiling of his room. trembling hands go to his chest, searching for his own heart, which beats in its erratic rhythm. he always has to take minutes to calm down. breathing is the key. it was not real, he reminds himself. everyone is fine.

but dreams about you are always filled with sweetness and joy, like images coming straight out of a fairy tale. as if these dreams are your “happily ever after”. there is a collection of them, which seem more like reminiscences he has than fruits of his dreamlike imagination. dreams about cliche dates. you and him holding hands walking in the park, or walking on the beach — feeling the waves hitting your ankles and the sand splashing over your feet. dates where you eat ice cream and roll around in the grass, pointing at clouds and arguing because “yes, the cloud on the right looks like a shikigami, i’m telling you.”

he never has nightmares about you. even if the fear of losing you exists, and strongly, it never happens. even if he looks at people like satoru gojo and can’t feel anything but pity. MEGUMI has you. he is not one of the lonely sorcerers, with their short and glorious lives marred by success, and consequently by loneliness. he has love.

a love so strong that your presence, the mere idea of you, makes his subconscious not afraid. whenever any such dream passes through his mind while he sleeps, like the playback of a film reel, he wakes up with a flushed face. his cheeks stained red, because he is so in love that even in his dreams you appear.

at these moments, he turns over in bed, drowsy, and looks for his cell phone on the counter. his reflexes are slow, poorly prepared. his hand misses it once, twice, and eventually takes out his cell phone, searching for the desired number in the messaging app. he texts you — you, his everything. his partner, his love, the wants he wants to marry to.

“I’ve had a dream about you tonight.”

[ MEGUMI ♡︎, 6:11 AM ]

#[ ♡⃗ ] writing.#jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jjk fluff #jjk megumi #jjk megumi x reader #fushiguro x reader #fushiguro x y/n #megumi x reader #megumi fushiguro fluff #megumi fluff

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a-reader-and-a-writer · 10 months

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Difference of Opinions (Part 2)

Prequel, Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Series Masterlist

*Spoilers for Across the Spider-Verse*

Once you sensed who you were looking for, you whispered, “Hobie, I know you can hear me. I need your help. Please. Come get me before it’s too late. I just want to help Miles. I promise. I–”

You were about to die alone and abandoned.

There was the sound of a soft tongue click before a heavily-accented voice said, “Well, lookit here. The queen’s decided to join the rebellion, eh.”

Using the last of your strength to roll over slightly, you looked up at Hobie and gave him a weak smile. “Damn straight.”

His muted palette flickered back to the full-color spectrum as he nodded. “‘Bout bloody time.”

He reached out his hand to help you up but just before his fingers brushed yours, you were hit with a massive glitch and everything went black.