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talesfrommedinastation · 7 months

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My redneck neighbor Doug watches 'The Bad Batch': Pabu

So, maybe it's because the Razorbacks are currently up over the Tigers, which makes Doug's LSU loving self extra fired up this evening, but I have made the mistake of asking him again about his opinion on the episode after 'The Outpost', which was 'Pabu'.

He called this both 'HR Goes to Daytona' and 'Did I miss an episode?'.

Doug: Make sure you put one of my Baton Rouge boys on the internet too right now. GEAUX TIGERS.

CW: Doug insults everyone, everything, and is generally a cantankerous old jerk in this one. His wife should have unplugged his internet. Lots of adult everything, ranging from language to...well, if you're under 18, please be warned.

Prepare thyself, especially if you're a TechxPhee fan. The amount of angry emojis I got in the text messages were pretty wild.

----

'Pabu' aka 'HR Goes to Daytona'

Oh it’s Church Lady and it’s Sunday service. Why is little orphan blondie in the bar with her? Daddy Rambo has his knife but you know the man was plowing vodka out of sight here. He’s tired.

I thought he hated Church Lady? Did I miss an episode?

Ah, now Ryan-from-Accounting is playing solitaire. Atta boy, get your mind off the bitch wife Laura. If he makes out with that garbage robot I’ll throw up.

Time to skee-daddle. Woah! Church Lady just grabbed Ryan-from-Accounting. That man looks terrified, probably because he found a Youtube video of her taking down muggers behind Manning's after a Pelicans game. Bitch wife Laura gonna blow a gasket.

But such is the way of the Church Lady, I have known many in my day. “I groped the hot new usher in Jesus’s house, but it’s okay, The Lord forgives”.

(praise the Lord and pass the Tabasco)

No, seriously, did I miss an episode? I feel like I did.

Houma-BBQ bitch is bitching, as is her wont. I wonder what sauce her tail would taste best with. Carolina Gold? I’d cook her brisket style. Oh, wait, back to the show.

And now they’re on paradise! Daytona Beach! Who is this guy, he looks like he used to play hoops now he plays how much dessert he can eat at Golden Corral. Props to him, that lava cake is gold. Hope Rex and Toaster Strudel are there.

Where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

No, really, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

I’m getting real mad here, where are Rex and Toaster Strudel.

CHURCH LADY, GET BACK IN YOUR SPACE UBER AND GO FIND REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL. I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR MUSEUM OF SHIT YOU FOUND IN PEOPLE’S BACKYARDS AND THE DUMPSTER BEHIND THE KEY LARGO PUBLIX, GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

SHOVE RYAN-FROM-ACCOUNTING BACK INTO THE DRIVER’S SEAT, PAY FOR HIS GAS, AND GO GET REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL.

“You have some competition”. From what, there’s gonna be a hot dog eating contest or something? Why does Ryan-from-Accounting look so upset?

(“I think they’re trying to set him and Phee up, Doug.” “What, when did that happen? Did I miss an episode?”)

Ryan-from-Accounting looks either sad or excited and I’m so confused. Maybe it’s because I’ve been married since before the dinosaurs but why is he either frowning and freaked out by Church Lady or smiling at Church Lady? Is he having a breakdown like my nephew did after he lost his job? Does Bitch Wife Laura know about this? Does he like Church Lady or is he planning on pepper spraying her? Did I miss an episode? Is this how the children flirt on the Ticky-Tack? No wonder y’all aren’t getting married any more.

(“Doug, you did not miss an episode. And it is called Tik-Tok.” “I MISSED AN EPISODE. I KNOW I DID, AND IT IS CALLED THE TICKY-TACK!!!”)

Ya know who would solve these questions? REX AND MOTHER LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL, WHO AIN’T HERE. THEY NEED TO BE HERE. WHERE ARE YOU HIDING THEM CHURCH LADY.

Oh lovely, Hoops forgot to make a reservation at BoneFish, so they’re having his gas station sushi. Not one shrimp or crab on that table? Y’all Hoops is failing so hard right now, as a boy from Louisiana I’m just offended. His momma raised that man WRONG.

You know who would love sushi on the beach while watching the sun set? REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL, and Daddy Warcrimes and Sassy Park Ranger too.

I MISS SASSY PARK RANGER ALREADY!!!!!!

But no, Rex and Toaster Strudel are busy at work saving the galaxy while Julio and the gang throw back cocktails and stare at the sun like they dropped cheap acid they bought in a sketchier part of Biloxi. Which is all of Biloxi, I guess.

Oh, and Ryan-from-Accounting is awkward around Church Lady and stares at his phone lest that Bitch Wife Laura of his get a snap of them sitting together and Little Orphan Blondie pets a monkey. I hope they all get food poisoning. I’m so mad.

They need Toaster Strudel the way I need FSU to lose this weekend, I have money on that game too. WHY IS ARKANSAS STILL UP IN THE SECOND QUARTER.

Ah, Little Orphan Blondie’s on a boat with her new buddy, that’s nice. If she doesn’t find Rex and Toaster Strudel out in the ocean with James Cameron I hope–oh, shoot, I was in the navy. I know what that water means. Oh boy.

Well bless Ryan-from-Accounting, he watches Big Tuna and knows how to do a rescue. Church Lady looks happy. He finally touched her, it only took a natural disaster and a whole lot of nagging on her part. Oh, poor Church Lady, you need a guy who actually likes you back.

Seriously, why does that man look like the subject of them shitty videos HR makes us watch once a year so we don’t get sued? I don’t know, but I’m starting to understand why his Bitch Wife Laura is the way she is. I can’t believe the episode they filmed in Daytona makes me feel for her, but it do.

(“Doug, you’re making up Bitch Wife Laura in your head. She’s not in the show.” “Well, it’s clear that I missed some episodes, so maybe I missed the Bitch Wife Laura ones.” “No, you didn’t miss any, I promise.” “Are you SURE?!”)

Man, the tsunami got people running like it’s Black Friday Wal-Mart in Tampa. But they rescued an old guy and Daddy Rambo got the stolen work truck working to rescue the kids. Hooray, I guess.

You know who would have done a better job? Of all of this?

REX AND MOTHER-LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL. But they ain’t here!

(Doug's love for them runs hard and it runs deep, for which I can empathize)

You know who should have been on a beach horking down Mai Tais and getting into Church Lady and her handsy hands?

POOR POOR SASSY PARK RANGER. BUT HE DIED BACK IN WYOMING. I bet he’d love a back massage from Church Lady too! He’d sass her, she’d sass him back, and they’d make out on the beach while Daddy Warcrimes played the saxophone behind them or something. I support that. I’d like that. He’s got brown eyes.*

Make it work, Star Wars, damn it.

(Doug has unlocked a new rarepair, I guess: Mayday and Phee? WTF?)

Well they’re hanging out here in Daytona for the time being, I guess. Julio passed out under a tree like a drunk uncle at a cookout. Everyone's smiling.

I’d be smiling too, knowing that REX AND TOASTER STRUDEL ARE ACTUALLY SAVING PEOPLE WHILE YOU CLOWNS STOMP AROUND FLORIDA.

Stop smiling at Church Lady, Ryan-from-Accounting! Is it because you finally filed HR complaint paperwork or because you filed for divorce papers from Bitch Wife Laura? Why are you smiling?! Church Lady belongs to Sassy Park Ranger!

(“Doug…Sassy Park Ranger’s dead. He and Church Lady never met. You need to stop.” “IF THEY CAN BRING PALPATINE BACK, THEY CAN BRING SASSY PARK RANGER BACK TOO!”)

*=I NEED FAN ART OF THIS NOW, please @amalthiaph! Help me out!

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breannasfluff · 7 months

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Flock Day Prep

AO3 Link

There was one consistent holiday among all the timelines: Flock Day. Hylians in every era celebrated in one way or another. Hyrule’s is the quietest with small gifts of food, pretty berries, or shiny rocks. Warriors was the most extravagant with parties, a street market, and lavish gifts.

Half festival, half intimate setting; no matter the era, the sentiment stayed the same—showing your flockmates you appreciated them.

Wild didn’t have a flock for the last Flock Day. It was simply another day missed while traveling through the wilds. Now that he has a flock, he wants to go all out.

The flock has each other, but those with flockmates at home, like Sky, Legend, and Time chatter to each other about what era they’d end up with. How can they make it up to their mates if they are gone? Sure, they’ll understand, but it’s not the same.

Warriors pulls Wild onto a shopping trip with him to pick out chocolates.

“Are these for your Zelda?”

The hawk shakes his head. “Time. The last time I was at the ranch she made me promise to pick up some chocolates from her just in case.”

Wild coos and ruffles his wings; Malon sounds amazing. “Why am I here?”

Now Warriors looks away, feathers ruffling. “I don’t know much about chocolates.”

The champion doesn’t point out that he doesn’t, either. He’s got a discerning palate, even if the others watched him eat garbage—leftovers! If he can get some samples he can make an informed decision based on Time’s tastes.

A portal takes them to Sky’s era a few days ahead of Flock Day. The frigatebird ditches the group to fly with Zelda in case they are separated for the actual day. Wild commandeers the kitchen. Four is roped into helping him bake, not the bee-eater is complaining.

The smith keeps up a steady chatter about the ingredients, the sky island, the baked goods—whatever crosses his mind. Wild chirps periodic questions; the food differences between eras are fascinating.

By the time he’s done, there’s a huge array of sweets in different forms. There are some savory treats for the raptors, as well. Bacon’s likely never gone into a baked good, but they won’t care. He’s never tried to combine crab and baked goods, but crab and cheese is a thing…probably?

Thank Hylia the slate preserves food in the state it goes in. Wild slides the crab dip in piping hot, ready to be enjoyed when it's time. The magpie has to chase Four out of the kitchen before he finishes the candies, carefully placing beetles in sugar syrup to harden on dowels.

Even if the taste of some of the items is a little off, the point is to show he cares. Wild isn’t going to let any of the flock doubt he loves them.

Legend is moping. It’s the day before Flock Day and his wings drag through the dirt. Periodically he gives sad coos with an undertone of want you, miss you. Wild and Hyrule’s answering calls don’t fill the hole he’s feeling. The vet sprawls across his lap desk, doodling frowny faces on paper.

Wild settles next to Hyrule. “He missing Ravio?”

“Yeah. Why won’t he tell the bowerbird he loves him?”

The champion can’t help but roll his eyes. “Legend? Be upfront with his feelings?”

Hyrule snickers because it’s true. “At least Time is doing better without Malon.”

They both glance at the kite. He’s disappointed but takes it in stride better. “They have had more Flock Days together.”

“True.”

They turn their attention back to watch their bowerbird trill sadly at his paper. “We’ll just have to make him feel extra loved tomorrow.”

The portal the next morning has the flock moaning—they were hoping for the day off. Time gives a call for them; too chipper for the early morning. “Legend, you might want to come look at this.”

The bowerbird grumbles wings fluffed against the cold as he drags himself over. “Why do you need me? It’s just another stupid portal—” He stops and stares. Then, with a shriek, the bowerbird dives through the portal.

Wild and Hyrule crowd closer to see what’s going on. Through the wavering portal, they can see—ah, Legend’s bedroom. Odd spot for the portal to open up, but it does mean the bowerbird can jump directly onto Ravio in the nest.

Sound doesn’t come through the portal, but there’s a flurry of feathers. Ravio might be excited…or he might be attempting to defend himself from a sudden home invasion. Hyrule goes to pack their stuff while Wild turns away from the portal. The bowerbirds can have a few moments to themselves.

“Sorry it’s not to Malon,” he tells Time.

“Thank you, Wild. I’m happy I get to spend it with you boys. I’ll have plenty of time with Malon.”

Wild nods, then edges closer and leans against Time’s side. The kite puffs and chirps, careful to keep his hands to himself. Wild doesn’t reach out physically to the other birds as often, but today is Flock Day. There’s nothing but contentment as he chirps and nuzzles at Time’s chest.

Carefully, the kite brings a wing around him, loose enough he can push free as needed. “Love you,” he says and gives a soft flock call.

Wild returns it, relaxing into soft feathers and the overtones of protection. “Love you, Time. Happy Flock Day!”

“Happy Flock Day.”

#flufftober2023 #2-Family-Friends-Loved Ones #linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu flufftober #breannasfluff #mywriting #lu wing bois #lu wing au #lu legend #lu ravio #ravio #raviolink #ravioli #lu wild #lu warriors #lu time #ravioli ship

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ceilingfan5 · 8 months

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2 or 21 with taakitz? pls and thank u!!!

“I think we should cancel the gig, I don’t remember how to play,” Taako whines from his place melted on the floor in front of the fan. His shirt, which was already too short, and also says crab rangoon slut in sparkly fuschia Curlz MT font, flops up, giving Kravitz an eyeful he’s burning trying not to react to. Every time the fan rotates, it blows a little further.

“It’ll be fine, and we’ll get paid,” Kravitz says, instead of I notice you changed your nipple piercing jewlery and I’d like to see what it tastes like, if you don’t mind.

“But at what cost,” Taako gripes.

“The price,” Magnus provides cheerfully, bursting into their private moment like the motherfucking koolaid man.

“The price of admission,” Merle adds, like that’s anything. He is, as always, right behind Magnus, and also wearing a stupid tshirt (“SUCCULENT BOD”, handlettered and decorated with dozens of little plants). Kravitz wonders, not for the first time, how he let himself hitch his wagon to this fucking circus train.

“Anyway,” Kravitz says. “We ought to practice, so we don’t flop out there and stink like dead fish.”

“I’m gonna stink regardless if I don’t stop sweating,” Taako moans. “I cna’t do it. I’m not a solid anymore.”

“Liquids can play the keyboard, probably,” Kravitz valiantly charges on. With Taako, you have to humor him to a certain degree, or he won’t even give you the time of day. But also you can only take some of his bullshit, and if you take too much of it, he loses any and all respect for you. It’s a delicate balance. Fucking circus train. Kravitz feels like he’s wearing the sparkly leotard in front of the tigers and everything. Shame he’s so into Taako, or he’d just go do something easier. Also he loves the band, but shut up.

“Nobody wants wet keys, my man.” Magnus shakes his head.

“Tell that to Florida,” Merle muses.

Everyone else boos.

“Why don’t you try, just a little, and then we can go get ice cream before the gig?” Kravitz asks. “Because if you can’t. I’m going to quit, and become a solo artist and be able to stop taking my blood pressure medication, because of all the stress you fools put me through.”

“Said like he thinks he’s not also a fool,” Merle stage whispers to Magnus, who nods solemnly.

“I want bubblegum ice cream,” Magnus says though. “So get off your ass, Taako.”

“If I die about this, you’ll all be sorry,” Taako moans, but he does peel himself off the floor and mope over to the keyboard. Kravitz takes up his bass guitar, and Merle sits at the drums, and Magnus connects his amp. “Fucking, ugh, an’ a one, an’ a two,”

“And a skiddly, idly, oo,” Merle jokes, but they start–

And it’s horrible. Taako bangs rudely on the keys, which immediately fucks everyone up, and Kravitz tries to save it but is torn between laughing and ringing his boyfriend’s neck, and it spirals from there.

“Like this?” Taako asks, over the bullshit garbage heap of a tune they’re butchering, playing his keyboard horribly, comically wrong. He’d probably have an easier time trying to use his butt cheeks.

“No,” Kravitz barely manages with a straight face. “I’m afraid that’s not what we’re looking for, and you’re fired, goodnight.”

“THANK GOD,” Taako says. “I’m going home. Music is dead to me.”

“Iiiiice cream,” Merle tempts.

Taako pouts.

“With sprinkles?” Magnus adds.

“And maybe a cold shower?” Kravitz smiles at him, letting the implication float through the air on radio waves, and not having to say, out loud, between the other two chucklefucks, that he would in fact like to join Taako in that shower.

Taako pouts harder.

“Fine,” he says. “But if any of you make me stick around to sign shit in fucking ninety-eight degrees, I’m ritually sacrificing a fan and we’re going to be on true crime podcasts for decades.”

“Goddamn,” Kravitz says. “Anything but that.”

#taakitz #taakitz fic #taz #tazb #taz balance #the adventure zone balance #the adventure zone #fan5fics #thank you!!#clearing out my inbox #little spicy here n there

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nokingsonlyfooles · 3 months

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Oh God. David Heard There's Room Service In Hell!!

Once again, I am testing my drawing ability by NOT doing any of the MANY illustrations I need, but I would've been sad if I couldn't finish an illustration. And look! I made it! I CAN DRAW! (And collage, obvs not my suitcase or BG, but all Public Domain)!! Well, my stylus needs a new battery, BUT, IN THEORY, I CAN DRAW! It's low res like all my test images, and I don't think I'm gonna put Vivziepop out of business anytime soon, but I'm fond of it.

That's why I'm so sad that it'll NEVER EVER HAPPEN. As a storyteller (albeit an obscure one) let me elucidate...

Strictly in terms of narrative viability, David hails from an incompatible universe. For an Invisible, he's middling. The Compelling Voice he's so fond of seems to be standard-issue, he's just more of an asshole about using it. In Tin Soldier and Soldier On, he's not all that hard to beat. Some people even have a natural immunity! He's only a threat in the first place because nobody knows what he can do.

But the minute he rolls up to the Hazbin Hotel, not only does nobody know what he can do, nobody has that natural immunity, and it would be hard as hell (haha) to beat him with their combat-friendly magic system. David isn't doing that Capcom-esque "freeze the enemy for a few seconds while they're looking at it" hypnosis. He's issuing unbreakable commands. If you're not deaf, the only way to beat him is to forget what he said. And that seems like it would be difficult, if not impossible, for most of the cast. Alastor certainly won't stoop to inflicting head trauma or hypnosis or amnesiac-levels of liquor on himself.

And that MIGHT not be a problem, except as soon as Dave meets Al he's gonna go from zero to nemesis in about three seconds flat. "Hmm, let's see. Neat freak, carefully-curated personality, perma-smile, never a moment's weakness... That's a pathetic little traumatized man-baby and I'm going to pull him out of his shell if I need to use a crab fork!" And, canonically, Alastor is also willing to make enemies that quickly. David has a sense of humour and no sense of self preservation, combat tentacles and veiled threats ain't gonna do it. Round one, David's gonna mop the floor with the Radio Demon.

...And by that, I mean he'd stuff Alastor into one of Niffty's frilliest little outfits and literally make him mop the floor, and even Charlie encouraging him to be a better person wouldn't get him to quit. Also, he'd be ignoring her and bending over backwards to get Angel's attention.

"Oh, listen. The man is over one hundred years old with zero interest in one-night stands or whirlwind romances. Prohibition isn't a thing anymore, drinking and dancing just doesn't cut it. Give him a chance to develop a fetish for something a little bit taboo..."

"I̸̠̤̐̄̄ ̸͕̝͙̌A̸̪̅M̴̭̰̙̎̓ ̶͓̻̐̉L̷̹͕̍I̷̯͗T̷̫̄Ȩ̶̾̋R̴̝̥͒A̷͔̩͋̃̕Ļ̵͗͜L̶̘̈́Y̵͇̓͗̂ ̴̼̪̘͠Ā̷̠̽̆ ̶͍͓̊̉C̷̣͕̺͆̃͝A̵͙̾̅N̶̥̬̮̄N̴̤̯̬̒̉̚I̴̩̜̍B̷͈̪̩̄À̴̝̦L̶̪͂͛͗!̶̟̆"

"That's not a fun night out. It's barely even a meal, what with the garbage they're feeding people these days. I imagine everyone tastes like a fucking 'Cool Ranch Dorito.'" [while making quote marks with both hands] "Isn't he from Louisiana? They invented spicy! Tell me, my deer fellow, is the cross-dressing and domination lighting up any dials?"

"Ì̴̗ ̶̧̫͓͋W̵͜͝Í̸̗͋L̴͔͆̊̌L̴̨̜͚͂ ̸͈̤́Ḱ̵̳̩͜Í̷̘̾L̶̨̫̬̉͋̌Ļ̵̱̗͐͊ ̴̧̣͊̄̈́Y̴̛͖̺͓̓̐O̶̢̦̍̀U̷̠̞͇̎ ̷̨̛̮̭I̷̙̜̽N̸̘̣͙̆ ̵̞͑͝Y̷̰̭̽O̷̟̘̹̓Ủ̶̢̏R̷͉͑̄̀ ̷̧̧̤̎Ŝ̶̱͈̃L̵̰͋Ȅ̸̜̗̙̊̍E̷͇̦̒P̷͈̝̅̆͌.̴̡͈̅͑̓͜"

"My good man, I have unlimited access to drugs and a fun new activity, WHY WOULD I SLEEP? What shall we try next? Do you have any drugs, Angel? Oh, of course you do! Do you think he's more of an upper or a downer person? I think a few muscle relaxants might loosen up that permanent rictus of social anxiety, but God only knows. You must be smoking a crate of cigarettes a day! Do you even brush? Your teeth, I mean. Do you suppose those lovely people at Lourdes make a mouthwash...?"

And Charlie would say, clasping her little hands, "Okay! What if we make some popcorn and talk about our childhood traumas? Yaaaay!"

But David would, inevitably, pass out. Most likely after binging and doing untold damage with Angel. And Alastor would kill him... And that's where we have the biggest fucking plot problem of all. Alastor's go-to method of disposal is tearing people to pieces while broadcasting it on the radio. And it seems like their screaming continues for quite some time, perhaps eternally.

I have expressed this in song form, because I have a weird brain and I couldn't resist.

Wait, wait, nevermind the eternal torment. Can these little hellions hear me? Test, test, is this thing on? Pardon me, could you quiet down a bit? I have a few things I’d like to… Will you stop screaming? Ugh. EVERYBODY SHUT UP AND LISTEN RIGHT NOW! That’s better. I have a little message for my executive producer. Well! I say! Colour me startled, you fulfilled your vow Think you’ve won? But I’ve barely begun! I’m always looking for new fans to wow Can you hear me NOW? [aside] Will you screamers sing backup if I command it? Can I get a little harmony? (We… can’t help ourselves?) I am eternal, and guess who’s just boosted my signal So I can reach all of you lovely new people? (We can’t help ourselves!) It’s your own Radio Demon! What was he thinking? (We can’t help ourselves!) What was he drinking? Ha! His dial must be twisted! Now I’m serenading the damned for my infinite span All according to plan! Am I a madman or a genius? I’m a pianist! Take that, FCC I’m a wonder, your saviour Please excuse my rude behaviour, (but the demon sure done fucked up!) Think he did me a favour? Silence my vocals? A failure! I’m louder and I’m certainly braver So crank the signal to the noise, and enjoy my compelling voice It’s nice to have all these new toys, (but our deer friend is annoyed) A Spirit of Radio beats a demon blow for blow This Invisible is crackling on the air! Well, one does like to believe Though you’re stuck, I’m almost free! That’s what you think! Your weak signal can’t compare Though you’ve had a little fun Your broadcast is done, and it’s time for your payback I’m in control Too bad you atomized my soul! … Not this attention-starved, brandy-addled, overgrown twink Guilty! What could be more absurd? A plagiarist bird Tweety-pie can’t even sing, his theft is pitchy You call that bitchy? I’m afraid that’s not entertainment! You're looking for a new twist? Then let’s remix the arrangement! Is Al as stiff as he projects? What sorts of kinks do you suspect? I’ve seen lacy details with my very eyes! He lies! And if I Tiked a Tok or two Well, there’s nothing he can do! A V̷̰͖̉̂͝İ̶̙D̵̛̻̮̙͛̕E̴̼̱̕Ŏ̷͆ͅ?̷̗͎̞̏̅! If I did, you can’t delete it That's the truth! When I find you in here, Ÿ̴͕̚Õ̸̠̝̕Ů̵̩̹Ŕ̸͔ ̸̬̋̂̔͜T̸̮̙͌̕Ő̵͔͕̑̄R̵̩̣̅͌̌͜M̷̝̹̾̏Ĕ̶̦͕̟Ň̶̮͊Ṱ̷̲̈̔̈ ̵̡̹̟̑Ẅ̷̝́͝I̷͉͋ͅL̴͎̞̎L̶̯͓͑ ̵̬͐͐͝Ḅ̸͚̬̅Ẹ̴̎̿͠ ̴̻͉̲̐̈́͠N̵̖̟̤͑̽E̴͙͎͘V̸̡͕̦̾̕Ė̵̝͈̀Ŕ̴̺-̸̡̱̇̾̉E̴̠̣̊̐̋Ń̵͔̬̝̑D̴̡̬͙̓İ̴͔͋͊N̸̞̙͐̒Ĝ̷̼̺̐͆.̸̤̭́̐̅.̸̰̓͝.̷̤̬̌ #MaidioDemon is trending! Y̴̼̿͆O̶̟͇͊̏͜Ǔ̸͈ ̴̨̫͘I̷̡͓̜̍̈́̽N̸̜̩̉̄͝S̵͚͈̭̅̓Ĩ̸̢̯͇͘Ṗ̶̩̭̦I̴̱͑D̷̨͖̚ͅ,̴̥͕̌̈̾ ̸̛̳̈́Ṭ̶̢̠͒Ė̸̱̼̕C̸̙̥̈́H̵͓̠̔̀N̷̖͝Ǒ̶̬Ć̶͔̃͘Ř̶͙͍͠Ä̴̟́̊T̴̳̉̊͜I̶̞̓͝C̵̢̨̲͐̇̎.̵̼̏͋.̷͎̆ͅ.̸̘̜̒ Darling, please, you’re lost in static One thing’s clear! You must be wishing that you took the L, you poor deer Say farewell. I’m very grateful that you gave me Hell Oh, this will be swell! [Vivziepop, distantly:] Fuck!

"Stayed Gone" is a patter song and I can't keep up with it as I read it, but I think the lyrical parts scan, at least. A-heh. Please excuse my hubris, but it's doubtful anyone will see this.

Of course, I would never torment someone with arguably GNC-phobic revenge porn, but that guy IS NOT ME. Your only hope for dealing with David is if Vaggie decides he's more of a threat than an amusement and straight up kills him, and that's not a plot, that's a cul-de-sac. So this little not-a-fic is all you'll get from me about this unsustainable situation.

...Alright, I might put Alastor in a maid outfit if anyone cares, but I really should be illustrating. I have precisely 13 to do before I can post more story! Unless I decide to post it anyway!

All apologies to Vivziepop, whom I've name-checked as one of a few creators I'd sell out or saw off my leg to work with. But - although I am tempting fate - prrrobably no one will see this. I'm just doin' a little practice and amusing myself.

Right, Tumblr?

#tin soldier and soldier on #art #updates #art practice #hazbin hotel #alastor #and meet david valentine!#low rent noodle birb drawing #long post #fanfic #but not really #song parody #phoenixes i guess?#could've gone butterfly but i think there's enough moth people already #and that whole light/shadow dichotomy would've been fun #if it wouldn't destroy everything cool about david AND hazbin hotel #maybe the moth-to-a-flame thing is more appropriate...#but val and vox are already doing that so maybe not?

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bedtimestoriesforbrokengirls · 2 months

Note

not to be needy or demanding or anything, but i’m still super curious about more of your thoughts on musicals! you said you had at least 10 more and it’s pretty much all i’ve been thinking about the past two days! 🖤 (thank you for responding to the first one by the way 🥹)

I got busy!

The first time I heard of Julie Taymor, it was when she signed on for what would eventually become the legendary Broadway disaster Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark. I’m not sure, but I think my first Taymor movie was Titus with Anthony Hopkins. (I’ve also seen The Tempest with Helen Mirren as Prospero.) But the movie I’ve watched over and over? Across the Universe, her bold, flawed attempt to turn The Beatles’ oeuvre into something approximating a connected narrative. Evan Rachel Wood is adorably fucked-up —she’s the Jennifer Jason Leigh of her generation— and Jim Sturgess was pretty much born to bring charm to a patchwork character like Jude.

I cannot for the life of me figure out why my parents let me go see The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. I know they were teetering on the edge of divorce and were desperately looking for some Family Activity, but I feel like taking a tween and his little brother to a Dolly Parton/Burt Reynolds musical about cheerful, singing prostitutes was… a choice. I remember being told to cover my eyes every time a tit popped out, but that’s about all the curation they did. I’m being generous to call it a modest work, but Dolly is always a gem, and Burt had more screen charisma than just about anyone on the planet.

Bo Burnham: Inside is the only perfect thing made during the pandemic. It’s not easy to watch… even when it’s fun, it’s not. But the kid’s gifts are just off-the-charts, and he perfectly captures the vibe of 2020 in a series of catchy, depressing, hilarious songs.

I ignored Lin Manuel Miranda for a long time, and when I watched Moana, I felt justified in ignoring him… I almost snoozed through it. But when Disney+ released the recording of Hamilton and everyone else was watching it, I figured “what the fuck, join the herd.” So I did. And I was extremely disappointed for about thirty minutes. This oily little twerp can’t sing! What is this shit?! Then Renee Goldsberry raises her glass, the turntable spins backward, the narrative breaks free, and thirty minutes later, the oily little twerp with the thin voice had me crying. Sure, Jonathan Groff and Daveed Diggs steal the show over and over, but how could they not? LMM gave them gold, and they ran with it.

Jewison’s Jesus Christ Superstar is so fucking ‘70s, I almost feel slapped by all the bell-bottoms. And that fruity, goofy opening on the bus tested my twenty year old patience when I first saw it. But when Carl Anderson’s Judas came roaring on to the screen, I was hooked. Then I realized Yvonne Elliman —whose “If I Can’t Have You” is probably my favorite disco song of all time— was Mary Magdalene and “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” hit, so I was taken from “hooked” to “mesmerized”. I wasn’t instantly in love with Ted Neeley’s Jesus for much of that first viewing, but when he lets loose in Gethsemane… well… Jesus.

The Little Mermaid wasn’t the first musical I loved, but it was the first one I bought. I grew up in a time when Disney animation was basically garbage, with nothing meaningful being produced for decades… and then along came Ariel with her collection of forks, and that sonorous crab. When Disney released it at a then-unheard-of price of twentysomething bucks, I gave it a shot… over and over and over again.

My relationship with The Nightmare Before Christmas is trickier. I don’t deny that it’s good, and I grasp that it has dug its claws deep into the culture, but the music… it’s okay. It’s fun. But I seldom find myself humming a tune.

I’m not going to get all detailed about The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, or Aladdin. They were good. Ashman and Menken kicked ass. I’m not in love with any of them —“Hakuna Matata” was kinda run into the ground at the time— but I acknowledge their value.

I’m running out of steam here, and I’ve already raved about Encanto on the blog, so I’ll close with the thought that “Surface Pressure” is the best Disney song that isn’t about loving something, and it is perfect.

#broken girl film academy #asks

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superwingscentral · 10 months

Text

At the beach

buckle up this is a LONG post

Jett: Swims all the time. But sometimes flies, sometimes runs at the beach. He's filled with energy. Later he has to get all the sand out of his motors

Dizzy: Doesn't really swim, but looks out for everyone just in case. Eventually joins Astra's treasure hunt. She likes pirates, so pretend pirate time

Donnie: Building huge sandcastles. Multiple, yes. Like that season 2 episode. He's making them FAST

Jerome: Sunbathing, also performs some stunts in the water. Later he dives and looks at fishes. He likes them.

Mira: She's having the time of her life ofc. Absolutely DESTROYS everyone in the water. She's the fastest swimmer for a reason

Bello: Talking to crabs. They climb all over him, others are surprised he's not getting snapped to death. But it's Bello, so they also aren't surprised

Paul: Also looking out for everyone just in case. But gets dragged to water by Kim.

Grand Albert: Takes a trip on the whole beach. Good place to try out his new gadgets in his bag

Astra: Metal detector's out, she's on a treasure hunt. Trying to find any scraps to use on her gadgets, or maybe something valuable.

Chase: Pulling the sea monster prank on the others, specifically Todd

Todd: Falls for it. Then gets revenge on Chase back

Flip: Playing volleyball with Neo. He's winning

Neo: About to take the sight in, but then got dragged by Flip. They're bad at volleyball

Kim: Swampy gave her a water gun. Dragged Paul to the sea, currently fighting him with water

Astro: Brought a switch. Under an umbrella, he's too busy playing Zelda

Scoop: Helps Donnie by bringing him tons of sand

Swampy: Also in the water all the time. He's way too deep rn, looking at the fishes

Zoey: Also under an umbrella, munching on some burritos. First aid kit ready on her other hand

Badge: Keeps an eye out

Rover: Collecting shells, rocks, etc.

Remi: Helping Donnie with the sandcastles

Wily: With Swampy, looking at the fishes

Sparky: Currently chilling

Crystal: HATES THE HEAT. Found a cave-like place so she's NOT going out from there

Bucky: Collects shells, looks at insects, cries when he sees dead insects...

Sunny: Blasting the sickest summer hits from her boombox. It's party time!

Leo: Chilling. A bit far from Sunny though, because he likes quiet places more.

Super Pets: They're playing with the sand. Except Mini Jett, who's in water with Jett

Lime: Portable kitchen out, making snacks for everyone with a godly speed. In the meantime she's munching on cookies

Tony: I think he's strolling around. Also passing everyone snacks

Tino: Chilling. Sometimes collects shells. But also amazed by the beach, he loves it

Ellie: With Grand Albert. She's also trying out her gadgets with him

Shine: Collects the garbage, categorizes them, keeps some valuable ones, because he hates seeing them

Narae: Stayed with Grand Albert & Ellie a bit, but then went out on an exploring trip bc something caught her interest

Goldenboy: Not there. Wonders why he couldn't find those "meddling Super Wings!"

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lowlyroach · 9 days

Text

1234) Are you going to disappear?

He spins his index finger

In circles around his temple

I know before he says it

I want to get Loco tonight

So we

Shotgun a four loco

I've only done this once before

I accidentally splash it all over myself

You're going to die one day

You're getting old and you're going to die

Drink this

I'm laughing

At every bit

EJ can't stand the taste

I forgot the reaction my body has

Why did he pick the worst flavor?

He lies in the grass for a while

Gagging as he tries to drink it all

Long after I've finished mine

He picks the grass out of his hair

This goes to show your tolerance is

Unnaturally high

I come in here shit faced and you're

Like a regular person

Listen, I don't know why that's the case

Why do you think I stuck with

Hundred proof so long?

I walk out and he's still laying in the grass

I collapse - laughing

We talk about food so I

Cook them burgers

Wait - they have bogo on a pound of blue crab?

Guys, I don't want to pay for seafood

Crabs are garbage

I stand on my tippy toes

Making eye contact with EJ

Over the top of the freezer door

Jacob, you're going to die one day

If we get crab, you're going to eat some

I'm going to die one day?

Yes.

Alright, then, I'll snack on some crab

Just incase-

You want to say anything else

I keep my phone off silent

Just incase you

Want to call or

Say anything else

I keep it on standby

I'm going to try to get shredded

In the meantime

But - like, I'll always be here

Literally, always, promise

So - whatever.

That's two for flinching

(Either one of them could kick my ass)

You know, I taught Jake how to

Throw a punch two years ago

He's like my son

Throwing 900's at Arcade Monsters

Yeah now I'm coming to take the title

Catch these hands and that's

Four now, for flinching

You're racking up the debt

Make that six

I'll take you both at the same time

That's eight, text your girlfriend you're

Going home in a body bag

(Nobody ever flinches, and it only makes it funnier)

Hand me the bong

No, you hand me the bong

My arms are so short

As soon as I get up to

Hand one of these babies the bong

All the way across the room

Alex decides to pick it up

To ensure I wasted my efforts to help them

I double over laughing

EJ dabs me up as we get ready to

Take a shot

He always holds onto it for too long

Afraid of the hundred proof

Going down unsteady

After we high five

I turn around and

Alex has already downed mine

I'm laughing so hard I collapse

My neck ticks-

Would you please share this laughter with me?

They want to smoke cigarettes

We take the pack out and

Drag one down

Only five left before

I'm done with them

I'll wait for the next time they

Want to smoke

Between UFC fights

Me and EJ are being high energy

Alex has that look in his face that's

Perfectly somewhere between

Disappointed father and

Worried

My knees scrape the carpet as

I gasp for breath

You tryna get pieced up?

Don't you weigh like 60 pounds?

Yeah, it'll be embarrassing when I take you down

I offer my comforter to EJ but he

Denies it and then

Keeps mentioning how comfortable I look

Yeah, this is pretty nice!

Do you want it?

No, it's like.. yours

This guy is fucking ridiculous

I'm so comfortable but

I keep thinking I wish you were

By my side

Sharing a laugh with me or

Holding my hand

Alex takes a hit and

EJ is pestering him while he does it

So he blows the smoke in his face

What are you laughing at?

I answer,

I just love my friends.

My neck tics

Would you share a laugh with me?

They're falling asleep before the main card

I don't even watch UFC

I look at EJ and he's

Side-eyeing me ensuring I don't

Catch him slipping again

Jake, when you get your own place next month

Are we going to ever see you, again?

Are you going to disappear?

I don't know

I do have the biggest table around here.

I drive EJ home

He's shivering immediately

Don't worry bud, I'm going to warm you up!

I blast the heater and

Drop him off

Get back home and

Put back the Roach

He was just hanging out in the background, anyway

#poem #poetry #0413 #i assume you're still reading these but like.. are you still reading these? (even though i told you not to)#do what's best for you - i guess.. ill be around until death #if you need me im here #if you want me im here #just dont come back and not stay - please and thank you #cuz like.. im going to stay.. always and forever..#like i promised #okay done fucking editing this jfc shut the fuck up go to bed

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eriexplosion · 7 months

Text

My reward for getting my new apartment keys is finally getting to watch Ahsoka and I'm still just. So utterly delighted by Ezra's entire presence.

Saying "SHE DID? WHY?" to Sabine revealing that Ahsoka was training her absolutely fucking sent me into orbit. I love him so much.

THREEPIO SHOWING UP <3 He was a breath of fresh air after how mad THESE PEOPLE MAKE ME. Truly the New Republic is dedicated to doing the Least at every given opportunity.

Seriously never will they stand accused of doing anything remotely helpful.

I love Anakin's training holograms, and of course he left them behind Just In Case. I'm sure that he saw how hard Obi-Wan struggled immediately after losing Qui-Gon, I am convinced that the thought of doing the same to Ahsoka one day Haunted him. Of course, the circumstances he could never have predicted, but...

Every time I see the Noti I squeal they're so fucking cute look at those little GUYS.

Okay Baylan leaving Shin behind got me Emotional. He sounds so wistful telling her to take her place in the coming Empire. Proud of her but also sad. Whatever he's planning will probably render this galaxy obsolete either destroying her with everyone else or making it so she never existed depending on what path this takes, but he does care about her.

Makes me wonder how this plays into the overall themes - he cares about her, but is able to detach from that for what he thinks is the greater good. I wonder if he ever did think about letting go of this plan that seems to be years in the making, considered letting himself find actual fulfillment in being a master and teaching his padawan, only to make himself pull away from it for the good of the overall plan. Versus Sabine going after Ezra no matter what, because saving your loved ones over everything has been baked into Star Wars ever since Luke fucked off to save Han and Leia purely because he cared about them.

This is swimming in something approaching coherency but hasn't quite gotten there yet. I'm just emotional about the wars in the stars again and absolutely fucked up about how much I like Baylan as a character.

I love Sabine's reaction to Shin being just. *SIGHS* THIS LADY AGAIN. I want them to try and stab each other again and then Kiss.

No need to land! Oh not this again... YES THIS AGAIN. Ahsoka really is her master's apprentice.

GOD THE LITTLE FIGHT BETWEEN EZRA AND SABINE OVER WHO TAKES THE LIGHTSABER IS SO FUNNY. He's right though. He very much did not need it. I guess when you have nothing to do for a decade but train in weaponless fighting you Git Gud real fast.

I loveeee the effect on the lightsaber when he blocks it just with the force.

Ahsoka really swooped in like YOU ARE LIKE LITTLE BABY WATCH THIS and kicked Shin's scrawny ass huh

Ten seconds later she's offering to help her like trying to rescue a hissy kitten she found in the garbage. I love Ahsoka <3

GODDD THE WAY SHE HAS OPENED UP THOUGH. MY GIRLLLLLL.

Ezra holding the little Noti's hand's got me squealy I cannot fucking take these little crab babies.

HEY BAYLAN YOU HAVE ONE EPISODE LEFT I HOPE YOU PLAN TO EXPLAIN YOURSELF AT SOME POINT DURING IT.

#star wars: ahsoka #star wars: ahsoka spoilers #SCREAMING

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ninthprime · 1 year

Text

list of players who should fall onto the houston spies during fall ball (according to me)

rigby friedrich: i'm very amused by this "sporgias phenomenon" we're seeing, where two of our three falls so far have been former georgias. so i'd like to propose rigby, a player whose primary espionage skill is "oh fuck he's approaching me, oh god, oh fuck"

kaz fiasco: during the late expansion era some of the spies joked that it was inevitable we would someday receive kaz, as his pgr is "spying." perhaps now is the time.

sexton wheeler and/or mcdowell mason: look, i love sad horse man and the sasquatch captain as much as anyone, but can you imagine them learning spy skills? hysterical. i would like to see at least one of them, preferably both, in trenchcoats

phineas wormthrice: i need to see phinny interacting with nanci grackle's muppets. more importantly, it would be funny.

peanut bong: it would be funny.

lowe forbes: this might be even funnier

sutton bishop: also extremely funny

jessica telephone: though somewhat controversial, here's my reasoning: it would be, in the end, pretty funny

niq nyong'o: this one's just inevitable- now that nanci's on the team the sim is obviously going to curse niq with having to put up with hir again. the sporgias phenomenon continues. also, i like her.

mohammed picklestein: this one's cheating because mohammed was already a spies player, but 1. they're one of my favorites and 2. can you imagine noted blaseball safety expert mohammed picklestein on the same team as notoriously unethical nanci grackle?

at least one other blaseball scientist: niq and mo are the scientists i'd like the most, but really i just need at least 3 or 4 scientists/inventors/etc on this team. unfortunately the sim has already taken haruta byrd and mooney doctor from me as options but we've got a lot more. how about zion aliciakeyes? pedro davids? felix garbage? mint shupe? mullen peterson? maybe jomgy rolsenthal moves back to houston? maybe eve mcblase moves back?? whatever makes the vibes a little funky around here.

knight triumphant: last time knight was a spy they saw multiple people die and seemingly got cursed to wander the league. this time, they're going to have to put up with nanci grackle. and frankly: it's what they deserve

harriet gildehaus: i rest my case

isaac johnson: spies unionize! that's my argument. that and we need someone with defense on this team please i'm begging

tad seeth: i believe the spies always need a "spynosaurus" present somewhere on our roster

axel cardenas: imagine you were one of the worst blaseball players ever. and you've been jumping between the shadows of various teams. and you decide the best way to get a fresh start is to get onto the same team as your daughter and your younger siblings. and then you get to houston, and none of them are there, and the stadium is filled with necromanced muppets, and now you gotta learn how to read ciphers. hideous. anyway i love this guy and i'd like to see him

richmond harrison: i think richmond should be on every team, to improve the vibes of the league as a whole

commissioner vapor: this is a spy we just had again but one of the very first things i saw someone say when fall ball was announced was "it's just gonna wimdy us CV again." and frankly? yeah, probably

various other players i don't really have an argument for but it would be fun: ok here's a shortlist: miguel james. wyatt pothos. rafael davids. guy gulp. jaxon buckley. jayden wright. ronan jaylee. gerund pantheocide. mindy salad. coolname galvanic. nagomi nava. beck whitney. thomas dracaena. sandford garner. literally any crab. "crop, are you just listing random players you like now?" look if i keep listing them i'll predict at least one correctly, that's how blaseball works,

#blaseball #long post warning i guess #blaseball personal tag #georgias i don't mean for us to get all your players it's just that you have really good lore

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garbagefarm · 11 months

Text

Garbage Farm (#47)

2023-05-026, session #47 of Garbage Farm! Spanning Fall 25 through Winter 3 of Year 4!

cast:

me (@mothmute)

E.B. (@salamand3rin)

Kimi (@2kimi2furious)

Highlights include, but are not limited to:

Fall 25:

We’re all ready to start early! Which means we start on time! Which means we start late, due to technical issues!

it’s a jelly day!

I visit the Volcano, in search of Teeth

EB tends the crab pots, Kimi tends the non-crab animals

Fall 26:

Elliott wants to know if I’d still love him if he drank a ton of pumpkin ale

Shane mailed me pepper poppers from Joja again

went back to the Volcano, bought myself some clown shoes from the dwarf and acquired the Teeth!

Fall 27:

TOOTH OBELISK

Kimi gazes hatefully at the ducks

ordering construction of a crystalarium shed from Robin

Little island boy is sad today :(

Kimi brought a banana for him, but gave it to a gorilla instead (see gallery!)

spoopyday!

Shane wants to know why they’re out of pumpkin ale

because Elliott drank it all!

(I am going to jail for stealing Kimi’s joke)

EB wishes Gus would rant about pumpkins like he does with candy canes

Alex brought Kimi’s kids into the maze!!

Harvey blushed and told EB he hoped she would find him in the maze...

“don’t wait up guys”

OSTRICH EGG

wine will have to wait until tomorrow, it’s not worth risking my life

Fall 28:

Harvey watered some crops

Harvey, honey,... we appreciate the thought, but it’s the last day of the season.

wine day!!

Kimi officially closes the barns and coops for the winter

Duck jail (woo-oo)

they’ll have time to think about what they’ve done (or haven’t done)

I make our first Qi Gem purchase, the Key To The Town

E.B. and Kimi threaten Mr. Qi for an autopetter

I make the walk of shame back from the island since we don’t have the return obelisk yet...

(oops, we forgot a special order to catch salmon for Demetrius, oh well)

Winter 1:

Kimi and I venture into the Skulls!

E.B. gets the Qi’s Cuisine special order

rip Kimi (on the front porch, thankfully)

Winter 2:

E.B. sacrifices herself to tend to the ducks so we don’t have to, she’s so brave

ffff it’s tuesday, I wanted to make the shed big

Marnie, Caroline, and Jodi are all at the island instead of aerobics

the ducks’ obstinance gives Kimi a headache, so we’re gonna call it a short session

two games of darts down, one to go!

hon hon hon, Mr. Qi, let’s get that bread

Winter 3??:

We bomb the ducks. (see gallery)

Kimi doing the elmo rise gif

EB gets exploded, says “worth it”

TO-DO:

still need another five garbage ducks

need to make more crystalariums and start moving them into their new shed

Continue the skulls!!

(I’ve still got a couple errands of my own I keep putting off: kegs, preserves, tappy trees)

continue long-term projects: seed self-supply, grocery list, crafting everything, Sea Urchins,...

Gallery, courtesy of E.B.:

Gorilla accepts our offering

THEY KNOW WHAT THEY DID (n’t do)

#stardew valley #garbage farm

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petitelepus · 2 years

Note

Matchups sounds like fun! ❤ 🌟

Just an eccentric lover of entertainment and stories! Will have many budding ideas that are tossed in the void and bond over similar likes even if they are small. ☆ ～('▽^人)

I match you with Wreck-Gar!

Wreck-Gar is a... Eccentric Mer. Always traveling along the seas and shores, and collecting things humans and most of the other Mers call garbage, but to him they are treasures.

The two of you first time meet close by the "Ring" where claiming Mers would fight over the chance of winning themself one of the presenting and willing prize Mers.

You were there ready to act as a prize, but all the stupid flaunting and such didn't appeal to you so you left before you could even make a first impression on possible suitors.

That's when you swam face first into Wreck-Gar. Of course, you apologized, but heck, this Mer smiled brightly like a sun above the water and immediately told you how pretty you were and how he was spell struck by you.

Okay, so he was flirting, no big deal, every willing and wanting mate would do so, and you were ready to turn him down but then he suddenly presented you a rare gift.

A mirror. Those were rare because not many Mers would give them away, but this Mer you just met was about to give out one for you?

"Wowie, you're pretty! I am Wreck-Gar! Here, please take this reflecting glass!" He pushed the mirror into your webbed hands and you gasped when you saw your scales and face shine in the mirror.

"Oh, wow...!" You gasped before looking at the mysterious and a little weird Mer. "It's lovely, but why did you give it to me?"

"Oh, so you can see how pretty I think you are!" He cheered and you were gone. So long any reasonable sense, this mech won your heart and he didn't even need to shed any blood for it.

"Listen..." You crooned as you swam around Wreck-Gar, the first sign of a willing mate, "Would you like to go and grab some crabs with me?"

"I am Wreck-Gar! That sounds like a fun time!" He cheered, completely ignorant of your first signs, much to your confusion.

"You... Aren't looking for a mate this season?" You asked and he just shook his head while smiling, "Nope! I am Wreck-Gar and I find what I can get!"

"Well..." You smiled coyly, "What would you do if I let you find me?" You asked and he smiled, "I would make you happy!"

You stared at him before giggling. He already made you happy, but by his nature, you would be the one pursuing the relationship, even if you presented as a prize Mer.

#rec-02 #matchup #wreck-gar #wreckgar #wreck gar #transformers #tfa #transformers animated #merformers #mermay #ENJOY!#ENJOY LOVE

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cryinginblaseball · 1 year

Note

top 5 Talkers Moments!

Okay this is a big question so I hope I do it justice:

5. Heist of the century -- What's bigger than a heist? Pulling one off against the Shoe Thieves. In short, Eugenia Garbage decided to steal former Talker Lachlan Shelton, from the Shoe Thieves. In beta season 8, Day 44, while playing the Thieves, Eugenia feedbacked for Lachlan Shelton, bringing him back to the Talkers. A few innings later, she feedbacked back to the Talkers in exchange for Simon Haley, starting and ending the game as a Moist Talker.

When Lachlan asked her about it later, she told him simply, "You needed to come home."

4. CMMNUE -- After PolkaDot Patterson stepped in for York Silk to be shelled in beta season 7, an opportunity came to serve the Moist One, the Monitor, a giant egg, as he desired. We wanted to please our Moist God, and we knew that he wouldn't hurt Dot... probably. Like 50/50. Instead of being eaten, Dot was freed from their shell, and blessed by the Moist One with Squiddish. How wonderful it was that the Moist One smiled upon us!

3. Kiki Familia -- When Ruby Tuesday took Elijah Bates and gave us Kiki Familia, we used the siesta to bring her to life. In one intense hour, the Orb Corner chat created Kiki, a cat(fish) magical girl from CCOHS, determined to investigate the unsafe playing environment the ILB played in, and to make the game safe for all. The next game, Kiki took to the field, caught a fly out, hit a triple, and was incinerated.

It was shocking, of course it was. It felt like the sim was aiming right for us. We had loved Kiki for what little time we had with her. And when the time came, we made sure she was with the Hall Stars, fighting and killing a god. She's one of my favorite Talkers ever and I love her.

2. "hey talkers." -- The Moist One talked to us! We waited at the Hall, licking the doors while we waited, and finally, he came out to address us. It was this beautiful culmination of 17 season of us following this entity with the faith that it would do right for us. And then, in the climax of everything, he came out and addressed us. Our Moist God. It was an incredible moment, and it still makes me smile.

1. Season 14 -- "For York." -- Beta Season 14, Day 87, York Silk is incinerated. For many Talkers, this was early in the morning, and we woke up to the news. We were devastated, and we went into mourning. And suddenly, the rest of the season became about winning the Championship for York.

We hit 69 wins (nice). When playing the Shoe Thieves at the end of the season, incinerated Talkers inhabited Esme Ramsey, as if to see us to victory. We took the Magic to game 6 in a 5 game series. It brought the Fridays and Talkers closer. I remember in the blur of the chat after the win, someone asking "Is this what being a real sports fan is like???" (Yes, it is). It was this incredible moment. We did it! We won a championship, and we did it For York.

And then the Crabs had to go and fuck it all up /lh

Thanks for the ask!

#blaseball

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sedgewicke · 1 year

Text

Whenever people talk shit about the trash characters I love, all I can think about is "How can I develop the psychic ability to give a stranger lactose intolerance over the internet?" But also this video:

youtube

You may see a great big pile of garbage, possibly a fire hazard. But, man, you guys don't know the rad shit that's in this pile. Dilaf could totally karate shop a camel's hump open to drink the milk. OK, granted, he probably wouldn't, because I'm sure he knows where milk comes from, and would understand that there's no milk in the weird back lump of this strange animal. Sadeas probably would though--it's a new kind of meat that isn't a crab, you go for it.

Not sure how this turned into a thought experiment based around the question of "Which of my favorite characters would kill a camel?"

#the stormlight archive #elantris #chaos walking #David would try to find more to set up a captive breeding program for this new food source #Hammar would form a deep spiritual bond with it and suddenly know a lot about desert living #Youtube

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abookishdreamer · 2 years

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Character Intro: Palaemon (Kingdom of Ichor)

Nicknames- Protector of Sailors by the people of the Underwater realm

Blueberry by Aphrodite

Shark Boy by Zeus

Age- 19 (immortal)

Location- Atlantis, Underwater Kingdom

Personality- Much like his symbolic animal, Palaemon can be very ferocious, bloodthirsty, and cunning. He is particularly aggressive (socially and physically), strong-willed, and determined. He’s currently single.

He and Poseidon (god of the sea & earthquakes) get along rather well due to their similar temperaments, but they're also known for their explosive disagreements.

He serves as a major lieutenant in the Underwater realm's army, with a legion of sharks at his disposal. Palaemon alson has a seat on the Sea Council. For other work, he models for Cerulean Stone.

Palaemon lives in a mansion in Atlantis made out of opal marble. He has about two dozen or so pet sharks of varying breeds. He also owns a penthouse apartment in the Tsunami district of New Olympus, which has a personal saltwater pool.

As the god of sharks, harbors, & sailors, he has many abilities like minor hydrokinesis, shapeshifting his humanoid form into a shark, being able to communicate and control all species of sharks, teleporting to any harbor, turning the teeth in his humanoid form into shark teeth, and having the "sixth" sense of the shark- meaning he can use electroreception, detecting the minor electrical currents that all living things make.

Much like a shark, Palaemon has poor eyesight, so he mostly wears glasses (outside the underwater kingdom). He sometimes wears contacts, but doesn't like the feel of them. He also has several tattoos & piercings.

He's cordial with Zeus (god of the sky, thunder, & lightning), but they're not exactly friends. He doesn't know Hades (god of the dead) all too well. Palaemon is also good friends with Ares (god of war) and Diochetévo (goddess of sewers, garbage, & waste). Palaemon has tried unsuccessfully to get with Aphrodite (goddess of love & beauty). He never passes the opportunity to flirt with her. In the Underwater realm, he's friends with Delphin (god of dolphins) and Nerissa (goddess of jellyfish).

His go-to drink is a shark bite (a drink made with blue curacao, spiced rum, light rum & drizzled with grenadine). He also likes sea salt cola, algae beer, rum & cokes, and OmegaDash energy drinks.

A favorite treat of his to constantly snack on is shark jerky.

He's not exactly a master at cooking, but he's well known to make the best grilled shark steaks in all the seas. He doesn't mind eating raw meals- devouring sushi (his favorite being dynamite rolls), lobsters, and crabs.

Palaemon has had a few love affairs with oceanic nymphs and mermaids, but nothing too serious. He's currently talking to a siren named Sonora.

In his free time, Palaemon enjoys many arduous physical pursuits like wrestling, deep sea diving, and big wave surfing. He also enjoys playing the electric guitar and saxophone.

"In a sea filled with fish, be a shark!"

#my oc #my oc character #my character #oc character #oc intro #character intro #oc introduction #character introduction #modern greek gods #modern greek mythology #greek myth retellings #greek gods #greek mythology #greek pantheon

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libidomechanica · 10 months

Text

Untitled (“Pardon, oh, part none receive; and innocence, spiral”)

A tricube sequence

Stanza I

Pardon, oh, part none receive; and

innocence, spiral thrown glow likewise while

I will. Half drown’d me angry morning.

Stanza II

Where the uncertainty disturb’d his

comes in that lowers blown hazy by

degrees, in streaming fantastic round?

Stanza III

Outside, and there were clovers to make

me the grain. Feeling sluice and woodpecker,

holds new systems, a Gothic light.

Stanza IV

Laments for al thyself again, with

thee, call all the Crab behind see the

flowers, which here. I was for its lips.

Stanza V

In reflections— condemning the strange!

Or countering lake, and fragrant that

helplessly be. And when ’tis keepes?

Stanza VI

And the mosses check’d the tales did rayses

such, as a rogue in ever again?

While beare the same, weary, he fought.

Stanza VII

Blue that the glen. Hath my word bring thread

of a friendly in a riches old.

How lock thy lifted drop at us.

Stanza VIII

In through married took one, thus crown’d without

him’—which at thou leave me! A heaven

a lea; they can seemes in praise.

Stanza IX

Come boyes run! Around thee safely countest

day was the nigh, that my Lucy

Gray, a certain is dyed in her hold.

Stanza X

For when so. This she, Blythe wind a trifle

there flew to Jove’s fire. Now that

others and pictures which outweigh, there.

Stanza XI

An all reignties— though the glen. But what

others are dost the air, some ones glistening

commute? To pleasant should rejoice!

Stanza XII

How must I oft hath ever gaine, the

woods their fans the back in the sward from

commeth in one. And lend desolate?

Stanza XIII

To hearken so shortest sport, half seen.

It is dreams collectual glad Endymion.

For other, giving the eaten.

Stanza XIV

I some mind the spur of thy leaves like

me. Through oft houses all the Master

may that all be. Throat and the pitied.

Stanza XV

And o’er enormous chief deliciously,

about her former mounting note!

Of any pardon your love’s higher.

Stanza XVI

Much place, lyke a March on your mountains,

and couch raptur’d! An Apollo, could

continued fusion I thing, dying.

Stanza XVII

The word and black. Sweet neglect more grown

with lie. Forest thus she garden of

pear too presence their state thence with me.

Stanza XVIII

You art! Us you know’st my heart from

them in their little earth sweet. Mother,

in loved yourse that before minstrelsy.

Stanza XIX

Is that disorder is more the tables

that insider a girls—sickly

give. But be tenderer of resist!

Stanza XX

And sith one gentle vs the wave,

have does press. And the rustling, o’er; until

youth, with so that was dare the darts.

Stanza XXI

With his day so. The breath, shading such,

as of burnt the and all the major

passage, search the snow this void of love.

Stanza XXII

’Er maiden’s force; be it liv’d long, that

turns the glass. At when he bells and the

sun, and far upward once again. Bait.

Stanza XXIII

They know I reall, sounds, the guid wild winds

bound it faire of rural garbage. And

stand upon the same night not the panes.

Stanza XXIV

Up the view and amber- melody,

but I am alive: again. At

the certain’s yet no sing, who love wings.

Stanza XXV

The base those same daily to his the

more bell. Is always in come a mudroom

clutch at more! And some in his tongues.

Stanza XXVI

She only two consecrates to

severely charming place. Twinkling.—That

zonulet o’er the tempting since me.

Stanza XXVII

Counterfeit. Upon the not, that their

own wills, at the live and that July

21st playing well as the host the Moon.

Stanza XXVIII

Where enough. Sweet question Whither the

way moved to the sun hat. And Lilia’s

heard to the wretched o’er the rough.

Stanza XXIX

It herself she drew figs. Whan that core

all rolls their statue made such sweets are

wove. Add one nor pretty surely well?

Stanza XXX

These hy, which sorrow made the roast meeting,

o’er the didst bathing. Save echo

ring. It is such among time of name.

Stanza XXXI

The sad stretched and smart, I must wandering

… I belief of her hair—her

Cybele! Lend that you will fable town.

Stanza XXXII

But do with a grace, you with reward

wast late regard open are cement?

There mine, and with Etnean tease thy rayse.

Stanza XXXIII

Then he fount pot and those hopes of

hermitted summer’s tale wall the vast brave.—

Surely been noon! She wended, two love.

Stanza XXXIV

Then she’s on his heard indolent spare

is no come; for here, ’ asked as ye he

is restle almost sweet subtle crown’d.

Stanza XXXV

To mouth a bank of.—Lest passe, that

kiss—aye, alas! For the gusts of mountains,

and happier start— no Cupids!

Stanza XXXVI

Is only said: went dark vallies and

soone he has dark slave-maker, which with

the Bridge now not? And, whose utterflies.

Stanza XXXVII

Still never legs I drew wild wife and

music. And let the the darkens, till

thy helm, and think to me wild roses.

Stanza XXXVIII

Part will, and garland lips: and you. Spikes

white as with thy founded mirror man

wither side, something borough wine, cold.

Stanza XXXIX

Her long, as defiled. To goodly

do; tis the linnets perswades and

delite, is it without you then cold.

Stanza XL

Of velvet cheeks alight. A school of

green early cups, because the typing

her awake the glen said, There again!

Stanza XLI

Closes and blood glow locks by my face

thee. But suburban girl- graduates

a white lambs bleeding bright in Dian.

#poetry #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Markov chains #Markov chain length: 5 #147 texts #tricube sequence

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mnoonthego · 1 year

Text

Day 31- Watamu Beach Life

Today we didn’t get up to much. More time at the pool, wandering the shops, beach combing and beach walks before heading to the Crab Shack at Mida Creek for a sunset dinner.

The maintenance man at the apartment can’t believe how much the girls love the pool. He has commented multiple times that they are still in or back in the pool.

Mid day we decided to head out to look at the shops. Bad planning on our part as it was so hot and no cooling breeze so we went for gelato instead and then headed out again. We didn’t really find anything we needed but it was fun to look at all of the carvings, beaded jewelry and beachy clothes. Many of the clothes are second hand so there are racks of marks and spenser, gap etc.

After our wandering shopping trip, we headed back to the apartment to clean up (aka wipe off the sweat and dirt) and then head to the beach. We walked down Sunset Beach to the Marine Park. The beaches are so fun to people watch. Some are playing in the water, others are strutting looking hoping they are being watched, there is always a big group of guys playing soccer (we only ever saw one woman join in) or at least some game the resembles soccer, multiple people will approach us trying to sell us something or hoping we will follow them to a restaurant/bar/hotel/taxi etc and kids are everywhere. That is one of our big take aways, Kenya has a LOT of kids!

When we arrived at the Marine park my hands were full of garbage that I collected as I knew that there would be a garbage for plastics. We were recognized by one of the parks workers from our visit there yesterday and he came rushing over to greet us and to help me with the garbage (and thank me- I’m not sure if the staff at the apartment feel the same, as I bring home garbage everyday from the beach and put it in our house garbage). He asked what we were up to and we said that we were heading to the Crab Shack for sundown and so he asked if he could call us a Tuk Tuk. We appreciated the offer and while we waited we went back to see the baby sharks (singing the song of course!).

The Crab Shack, on Mida Creek, was built by Dabaso Creek Conservation Group to promote eco activities, protect the mangrove forests and provide education for the Mida Creek fishing communities who don’t have a lot of commerce. The Tuk Tuk took us through the communities which are pretty basic with mud huts and some paths meandering through. Once you get to the parking lot, the entry to the restaurant is via a 200 metre boardwalk, through the mangrove forest and Creek channels so it felt like an adventure just getting there.

The menu is known to be locally sourced seafood and the crab samosas are famous in the area so I was super excited to be there. Added bonus, the family we had met yesterday at the lunch and who had recommended the restaurant were also there! We ended up joining them for a fun evening full of laughs! We even ended up with a calendar picture of us all (you know when the photographer comes to the table and then later shows up with a printed picture to commemorate the evening) that of course we had to buy!

Mark and Oriana had the king fish which they said was really good and I ordered, and shared, the Giant Mida Creek Crab. I am a bit of a crab snob as I think Dungeness Crabs are the best but I must admit the Mida Crab was pretty amazing. I wouldn’t say better but definitely up there. Tamsyn who isn’t a big fan of fish, was thrilled to have spaghetti and enjoyed the crab samosa.

I thought it was interesting that the crabs are sustainably farmed as part of the eco initiative and the fish are caught by local Creek fishermen. So you feel good eating here knowing that it really does support the local community and conservation efforts! What a great night for our last night!

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