#AND HEY OUTRIGHT LIED ABOUT IT TOO.

[uglyducklingofthe2000s]

Hi can you make story about the reader went to the race but she wasn’t feeling well and after the race lando went up to check on her and she was burning hot (fever) so lando ask if she wants to go back to the hotel and the social media from mclaren was filming the whole thing and the fans went crazy when it got uploaded on youtube saying how sweet and protective lando is from the reader

Priorities - LN

No part 2 requests please

With Jeddah being a night race, it means the drivers get a bit of a lie in but not by too much.

Lando and y/n are still very much curled up together comfortably when his alarm goes off and the ringing noise immediately makes y/n grimace as she is slapped in the face with a headache.

"Morning baby." Lando smiles kisses her thankfully not noticing her expression over her head aching. "You're always easy to squish in the morning."

"Thanks, I try." Y/n giggles before she smiles brightly at him and hugs him tightly.

They don't take long to get up but admittedly, y/n is a little slower moving that usual. But nothing too noticeable and she does manage to take some painkillers on the sly.

If it wasn't a race weekend or even just race day then she might tell him or not be trying to put on a brave face. But it is and she hates the thought of missing a race that she is literally there to see in person.

So she'll just have to ignore it.

"Ready?" Lando smiles seeing her finish getting dressed, and even she can tell he's suddenly noticed. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She lies smoothly but his frown of concern suddenly transitions to a frown somewhat demanding her just tell him. "I have a bit of a headache but I took some painkillers. I just think it's jet lag catching up with me."

“You’ll tell me if you don’t feel well yeah?”

“Yeah, of course I will.” Y/n promises making Lando hum.

It wasn’t that long ago that she lied about having food poisoning and spewed on his balcony in Monaco. She also attempted to clean it up and while it was possibly the worst thing he’s had to endure for her, he pushed her to the bedroom to lie down and rest while he cleaned up.

“You just focus on the race. I’m fine.” Y/n promises lifting his hand up to kiss the back of it as they move out of the hotel room.

-

The headache does in fact get much worse, she can feel her pulse throbbing around her brain and her ears drumming at the sound of her heart beat.

She’s been trying to drink water in hopes it might just be dehydration.

A fever has thrown itself into the mix of her symptoms to the point she can feel it radiating off of her and kicking into a heavy wave of fatigue. Standing in the McLaren garage she’s really not feeling great.

It’s still only the run up to the driver’s parade which isn’t too long before the race but long enough that she’s trying to do the maths of how long she has to cope with her withering body giving into whatever illness she’s got.

“Hey-Baby, what’s wrong?” Lando frowns appearing dressed for the parade but as soon as he sees her, he can tell there’s something much worse than a headache that has developed. “Are you sick?”

“No-“

She’s cut off turning away and coughing into the bend of her arm. Clearly whatever bug she’s caught is speeding up in how badly it’s effecting her. Because when he left her she didn’t look so visibly ill.

“You told me the painkillers worked.” Lando scolds not outright calling her a liar, but very much insinuating as much. Which if she wasn’t so ill or disoriented then she might even try to argue with him. But instead she just sighs heavily. “Please go back to the hotel or even just the unit and find a spot to lie down.”

“No. No. I’m fine.” Y/n states shaking her head stubbornly and quickly regretting it when it makes the throbbing in her head quickly transition back to a pounding.

Lando is about to lecture her and instruct her to leave immediately, especially because she’s swaying a little and clearly too ill to be standing for a long time. But his name is called for him to get on with the drivers parade. So he huffs looking at her with a pointed finger.

“I will be back and we are talking about this.” Lando states making her sigh but nod since she really can’t argue and even if she could, the fever is really exhausting her and using up her energy.

Lando rushes off to do the driver's parade and at some point during that time Jon gets her to sit down. His job might be to concern himself about Lando but he's friends with y/n and even he is concerned about her quick turn in health.

He also gets her a couple bottles of water which she does make is a comment of being excessive.

"Alright, baby. What's going on? What doesn't feel good?" Lando asks clearly having ran back from the driver's parade.

Y/n doesn't hide the fact she doesn't feel well, but she also doesn't want to miss the race.

"I feel better. I think the water worked." Y/n murmurs before again turning and coughing into her arm which is followed up by Lando's hand all but slapping her forehead to feel her temperature.

"Baby, if you don't feel well I'd rather you just go back to the hotel." Lando frowns but she shakes her head.

"It's only a couple hours and I might perk up."

Lando doesn't look convinced but he knows there's no point in demanding she leave. She'll probably only get upset with him and then be ill and upset which is the last thing he wants.

"Alright, well...can you at least just stay sitting down?"

"Yes, I can agree to that." Y/n nods with a small smile as Lando sighs and looks at Jon instructing him to look after y/n.

-

Y/n didn't really improve through the race, and the feeling of not improve did just feel fuck her up a little. Jon ended up sat next to her and she spent half of the race burning up beside him.

"Lando-you have media." The comms girl states making Lando sigh since really he doesn't want to be dragged off for an interview.

"Yeah, I have a sick girlfriend too."

"And Jon's got me. I can wait." Y/n assures him earning a sigh from Lando as he moves closer, grimacing at the burning heat coming from her. Even fresh out the car he's cooler than her, so whatever fever she has is seriously bad.

"Can you wait outside the unit?" Lando asks making her nod.

So after probably the most rushed media. Lando dodges further interviews leaving that part to Oscar for the night before he rushes to the unit and sighs finding y/n outside still coughing up a lung.

"Baby..." Lando grimaces, not noticing the cameras filming for an unboxed video. "Do you wanna go back to the hotel?"

"Yeah. I really do." She nods shivering despite her fever earning a sad smile from her boyfriend.

"Alright. I'm going to change. Come on. I think making you sit out here might be making you worse." Lando sighs and while she goes to stand up, instead he scoops her up. "I got you. Full boyfriend mode."

Y/n manages a weak smile but mainly just enjoys being coddled a little.

The cameras wait for them to reappear from his driver's room, y/n now being carried on Lando's back.

"Say bye to the camera, y/n." Lando laughs making her wave at the camera. "Y/n doesn't feel well so I'm breaking her out of here."

Y/n smiles tiredly before Lando rushes to get them out of there.

By the time they get to the hotel room, Lando sighs placing y/n down on the bed. She'd fallen asleep in the car ride home.

-

It was a couple weeks before the video was edited and uploaded. Y/n is far beyond recovered but when she started getting tagged in more and then her mum sends her clips of the video.

"Awww look everyone is freaking out saying you're all cute. Should I ruin it and tell them you forced me into a cold bath to break the fever?"

"It was for your own good, you were just getting hotter. I thought you'd set on fire if I didn't cool you down." Lando pouts then grinning as he watches the clips. "I am just the best boyfriend, aren't I?"

"You are the bestest boyfriend ever." Y/n confirms moving to sit on his lap. "Might start faking illnesses so you're cute more often. I'll feed the masses."

"You don't have to be ill for me to be cute."

"No. But you're cuter when you get coddle me. You get all touchy and keep hold of me." Y/n smiles making Lando pout.

"I can be like that more. You don't have to be ill." Lando frowns then pulling her closer and squishing her a little. "I'm going to be like that all the time, you're going to hate it."

"Oh wow thanks." Y/n giggles before she begins scrolling through her TikTok which is in fact just endless amounts of edits of her and Lando from the video. "I feel like I should be flattered but this is actually awful. I look like I should be curled up in a ball."

"Hey, no one insult my girlfriend."

"You're an idiot." Y/n laughs then laughing harder when he manages to slap her ass for the insult to him and to herself.

Taglist: @namgification @hiireadstuff @jsjcue @geniusalpaca @itsjustkhaos @llando4norris @partyinpitlane @lpab @xoscar03

#f1 #fanfic #formula 1 #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris imagine #ln4 x reader #lando norris x y/n #lando x reader #lando #norris #lando norris mclaren #lando norris one shot #lando norris fanfic #lando norris fic #lando norris fluff #lando norris x you #ln4 one shot #ln4 #ln4 imagine #ln4 fic #ln4 fluff #mclaren formula 1 #mclaren f1 #ln4 x you #ln4 x y/n #ln4 fanfic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader #f1 imagine

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for exposing some parents' lies in front of their children?

So I ( at the time 25F) used to be a fast food worker in a mall until last year. In the restaurant we had a very eye catchy gumball machine, and families that walk past the restaurant tend to get stopped by children asking for these. Some parents are okay with it but most are not. Those who refuse to get some tend to deal with the situation questionably sometimes. The ones that get on my nerves the most are the parents who expect ME to convince the children not to buy some, as if I weren't busy already fixing their food. It's a small booth so I'm the only worker there and it's hell when it gets busy. However, for the sake of professionalism, I do try and talk the children out of it. "It's not healthy" is my favorite argument, actually my only argument, I can't think of another reason not to buy it. It doesn't work obviously but at least I tried?

The other type of parents that annoy me are the parents who outright lie to their children to get them to stop asking for gumballs. Like "the machine is broken", "it's just for display, not for sale" are the most popular lies I could remember right now. It's none of my business when this happens, even though I don't agree of this method of parenting. Children are my favorite people (if anyone remembers me, I sent the AITA about hanging out with children and ditching adults- so you'd know how much I love these little people) and I hate it when adult treat them as if they were dumb? Needless to say, most children don't even believe those lies and would argue with their parents. "Why keep it there if it doesn't work/ not for sale?"

Now, whenever children argue with their parents, some times the parents would look for someone else to back them up on their lies. They'd look at me and wink. "It's broken, right?" "It's not allowed for public use, isn't it?" And expect me to agree with them.

I really hate it when this happen. They demand that I side with them adults against those impressionable and innocent children??? To commit acts of dishonesty in the face of a cute child that just wants a candy of a certain color? Okay but my issue is the fact those customers demand I lie. Just like I said, I hate doing that because it's like I'm mocking their their intelligence and encouraging bad parenting. The other reason is, I'm a Muslim and lying is a sin, and putting me in a tough spot where I'm forced to sin is uncomfortable and I draw the line at it. I live in a highly religious Muslim area too so it's not like they aren't aware of that either. Like, I'm not claiming to be perfect, I have absolutely lied before and committed other sins, but I refuse to increase my sin count doings something I'm totally against? The third reason is, I'm Autistic so I happen to be very blunt, so I'm not used to lying at all, I'll suck at it if I try anyway.

So here's where I might be TA:

When the parents seek me to help cover their lies, I act as if I don't understand what they want me to do and contradict them. For example they'll say "Hey, the machine is broken, isn't?"

I pull my innocent confused face and say something along the line of "Oh no, it works perfectly fine, just insert a coin to get it to work!"

If they say something like "It's not for sale it's just decoration, right?"

I'll reply with "no of course you're allowed to use it, sir."

And so on.

I had a blast doing that, for once, I get to be slightly rude with Karens who can't call me out because their children are right in front of them so they'll have to admit they were lying. Also I work alone so there's no superior they can report me to, and it's a huge chain restaurant so one sigle bad review will cause no harm and even go unnoticed, but it's not like any parent bothered looking up how to report me since they are so busy trying to get their children to leave, which means I get to do whatever I want. Also management was very nice for a change and they always shot down any complaints about me.

However, I'm not a parent myself so I don't understand their struggle to keeping their children under control.

Anyway, AITA for not lying with them and exposing them in the process?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[bitchinbarzal]

idiots in love | F Minten

summary: miscommunication fic where you don’t think fras is interested in you so you move on but right when you do he finally gets the nerve to ask you out.

-

You’d tried to make your feelings for Fraser clear to him.

You liked him, you had since you met him but he was so oblivious. You could outright stand infront of him with a sign that read “I LOVE YOU” and he still wouldn’t get it.

You couldn’t put yourself out there anymore to get nothing in return.

Matthew wasn’t best pleased with his teammate, having known how much you liked him.

“Dude when are you just gonna admit that you like her?”

“Her, who?”

Matthew scoffed “oh, come on! You know Y/N!”

Fraser blushed “I do not like her”

“Dude… she likes you too! Just tell her!”

Fraser was in his head the whole day and the trip to Buffalo. You liked him and he’d missed the signs.

He’d texted you asking if you were coming to the Christmas fundraiser for the leafs, to which you said you were and he knew that would be the first time he saw you. He’d tell you then.

He was prepared for it, he’d bought you flowers, he’d prepared exactly what to say.

He was beyond nervous but happy to say that by the end of the night you’d finally be his.

He was sweating, wiping his hands on his suit trousers before he entered the event.

He was caught aside by media personnel and team members. In the midst of it all his eyes kept drifting around the room looking for you.

When he finally got away from it all he media and cameras he searched for you, asking various wife’s and girlfriends of teammates he saw if they’d seen you.

They’d all mumbled something about “I saw her earlier” which was less than helpful.

His eyes scattered around the room looking for you, desperate to finally have you.

When he did finally see you his heart soared, the smile spread across his face quick to disappear when he saw the guy that leaned in next to you to kiss your cheek.

Fraser swears he heard his heart break in his chest.

You were sat at your designated table with your date, laughing at whatever he had said to you while the two of you shared issues to the cheek.

He stood, mouth open staring when Matthew clapped a hand on his shoulder

“Hey bud-“

“You lied” Fraser mumbled.

“What?”

“You lied! Y/N doesn’t like me!” He exclaimed, pointing over in your direction

“I was such an idiot, of course she doesn’t like me back”

Leaving Matthew to look between a heartbroken Fraser walking away and you with a guy who he knew you didn’t like.

“Idiots in love, I swear!”

#fraser minten imagine #fraser minten x reader #nhl imagine

[didishawn]

Little Messi (Pedri x Messi! Reader)

Warnings: reader is Messi's little sister, Lionel Messi is a professional matchmaker, lots of Spanish, mentions of Lionel Andrés Messi Cuccitini being the best football player because he is

Masterlist

Leo lately has been having thoughts about you, his little sister, with one of his teammates, Pedri, he can't help but think you two would somehow match together.

Pedri is a simple guy, nothing, wrong with it, Leo himself is too, honest, kind, great at what he does and a true Barça lover.

You are his little sister who he loves so much, the one he practically raised really, being so much younger than your other siblings and your parents being very busy with Leo's career, Leo most of the times took it into his hands to keep an eye on you, the internet is full of photos of him carrying you into matches from a very young age. You were truly Leo's first experience raising someone, there were those who even said you were actually his secret love child who he had at an extremely young age so they passed you off as a sister, lies of course, but it's not surprising there were those who believed it.

Pedri has recently joined the team, and you two, just seemed to hit it off fair quickly, something that Leo inmediatly became aware of. He knows you two are friends, but there is this part of him, telling him you two could be much more, and doesn't matter how much Antonella tells him to shut up the idea, he soon becomes your personal matchmaker without telling you.

It starts pretty simple, making you two encounter one another.

"Vení con los chicos y conmigo, así haces compañía a Pedri, que creo le cuesta un poco estarse cómodo conmigo y los pibes siendo el nuevo" he tells you one day, and of course you agree because Pedri and the rest are pretty nice, honestly most of the older players have taken you in as if you were their little sister and not Leo's. (come with me and the guys, so you can keep Pedri company, I think it's difficult for him to be comfortable with us being the new guy)

You honestly are suspicious of how much Leo smiles the entire evening and of Antonella giving him an annoyed look, as if he had done something wrong, yet you have no idea what.

You had fun honestly, Pedri is sweet, easy to have a conversation with once you break his shell, the other players tease him all the time, yet never say outright what the teasing is all about, but you do see the sneaky looks they give your way, yet decide to ignore them.

You don't see Pedri in a while, being a year younger than him, you are busy after entering 2nd of Bachillerato (Spanish last school year before university) and Pedri with training and getting to know Barcelona. One day you are laying around doing nothing, your brother approaches you out of nowhere, sneaky glint in his eye, trying to force down a smirk.

"Che, ¿me harías un favor?" (hey, will you do me a favor)

"Depende" (depends)

"Te quería pedir si podrías salir con Pedri, enseñarle un poco la ciudad, el pobre pibe todavía no se acostumbra" (I wanted to ask you if you could go out with Pedri, show him around the city, the poor guy doesn't get used yet)

"¿Y por qué no vas vos?" (and why don't you go?)

"Yo supongo él preferirá ir con vos que son más o menos de la misma edad" (I suppose he will prefer to go with you as you are the same age)

You end up agreeing, have a great time too, but are surprised to see Pedri knows all the places you took him to after your brother had made it sound like he had no idea. When you arrive home, he is looking expectant to see your expression, Antonella rolling her eyes besides him, after you tell him you had a great time and leave towards your room, you swear you can hear him let out a joyful noise, but decide to ignore him.

Every new season means a new shirt for the players to use during matches, and as always, Leo promises to bring you, the kids and Anto some for you all to wear, the number 10 and "Messi" on the back to show off your support for the greatest football player there is and ever will be.

He enters your room one random day to give you yours, you are too distracted by homework to check it out, but promise to do it later, you miss the way he pouts, as if he wanted to see your reaction over something.

You finish a couple hours later, the shirt almost forgotten before the bright red and blue colors catch your eye. You pick it up to examine it, it's not you favorite but it looks just fine, you turn it, expecting to see your brother's name and number on it but freeze as you realise there must have been a confusion.

A big 16 with the name Pedri on the top, you run down the stairs to inform your brother of the mistake, yet he has a sneaky smirk as he too checks the shirt out.

"Bueno, digo yo no pasará nada si la usas para un partido o dos. Incluso le podrá dar ánimos al pibe" (well, I don't think anything will happen if you use it to a match or two. Plus, it might cheer up the guy)

Leo promises to ask for another shirt for you (he doesn't mention his closet to be full of them and you don't remember it either, Antonella doesn't say anything, she wants to see for how long her husband will play matchmaker), he will take some time before giving it to you though, he is getting tired of all this, and wants Pedri to be his brother in law as soon as possible.

His plan, surprising or not, has been working out, many times you leave the house talking about going out with Pedri to do god knows what, he hears you two talk until late night hours, and he has heard some of the guys of the team teasing the Canarian about some girl he is crushing on-he really hopes you are the girl or everything will have been a great waste of time.

On the next match, you show up wearing the new shirt, you can feel the whispers behind your back about the unusual number 16 you are showing off, but do your best to ignore them.

Barça wins, a good ending for a long match after a hard season on the players, too far away from better times. You, the kids and Anto wait for Leo among the rest of the families when a boy approaches you, you recognise him as Fer, Pedri's brother from photos the midfielder has shown you.

"Buen partido, ¿no?" (good match, right?)

"Casi me da algo viéndolo" (I almost had a stroke from watching)

"Bonita camiseta por cierto" (nice shirt by the way)

You roll your eyes "Leo es un gil y me dio una que no era. Boludo, no quiero ni saber que se inventaran" (Leo is an idiot and gave me a wrong one. I don't even want to know what people will say)

"Pedri González, del máximo admirador de Messi, a salir con su hermana pequeña" (from Messi's greatest fan, to dating his little sister)

Leo frowns as he watches you laughing with the wrong brother as he walks out alongside Pedri and Piqué, he hits the later with his elbow and signals Pedri with his head, the younger boy seems to have noticed you and his brother too, as he too frowns, a saddened look in his face. Piqué clears his throat.

"¿Viste la camiseta que lleva y/n hoy?" (did you see the shirt y/n is wearing today)

The midfielder shakes his head, his eyes don't leave you figure.

"Che, yo también me fije" (hey, I noticed too)

"¿De qué hablan?" (what are you talking about?)

"Posta me parece que en la parte de atrás hay un 16, eh. Yo que vos chequearia" (I seriously think there is a 16 on the back. If I were you I would check it out)

Piqué nods, and the two watch as the boy approaches you. "¿Desde cuando haces de cupido?" (since when do you play cupid)

"Me tengo que entretener con algo, pelotudo" (I have to entertain myself with something, asshole)

Leo watches from his spot as both you and Pedri blush from whatever you are chatting about. The same behaviour goes on for the rest of the night, sneaky conversations in between you both that he unfortunately can't reach to hear. He pretends to not notice when you two dissappear sometime during the night.

He definitely doesn't squeal under Antonella's amused gaze at the end of the night, when you tell him how you and Pedri kissed and how the midfielder has asked you out for a date.

That night, when your brother is faraway from your room, you pick up Pedri's call.

"¿No deberíamos decirle que él no hizo nada, sino que ya estábamos saliendo?" (shouldn't we tell him that he didn't do anything and we were, already dating)

You shake your head "Naa, déjalo disfrutar al pobre chavon, que en verdad le gusta todo esto de ser casamentero" (noo, let the poor guy enjoy himself, he actually likes this whole matchmaker thing)

You don't think you will ever tell Leo the truth, let him think it was all thanks to him, when in fact you two have been together from the start and found it quite amusing how he played the fool with all these weird coincidences to get you two to become closer. It was time to let him in into your love though, let him know how much you actually like Pedri and he, you.

Unfortunately, after things become official, Leo becomes the most obnoxious, annoying, older brother the world has seen. But that is a story for another time.

#pedri #pedri headcanon #pedri imagine #pedri x reader #barca #fc barca #Barcelona #football imagine #football player #football #spain nt #Lionel messi #Messi #argentina #argentina nt #argentina national football team #argentina national team #spain national team #Spain #la scaloneta #scaloneta

[saiscribbles]

What are your future plans for your channel btw? Although I like your content criticizing Lily, I think it’s best for you to move away from her because her time on the internet is a huge trash fire that never leads to anything good.

I’d personally really like to see you talk more about Hazbin Hotel or Steven Universe! Your streams are really fun and I love having them on the side while I work. :)

BOLD OF YOU TO ASSUME I HAVE A PLAN!

Much like I never actually intended to start a Steven Universe AU series I never actually intended to become a YouTuber in the first place.

Here's the story:

For years now I've been doing a stream weekly on Twitch where I just talk with chat while drawing. One day Hiding in Public/Private released a couple of great videos on old SU hate videos, including Lily's infamous "Steven Universe is Garbage and Here's Why".

Not too long after that Lily released "Was I Wrong About Steven Universe?" as a nakedly obvious response. I thought hey, wouldn't it be funny if one stream I just react to this video? Just for funsies? To see if Lily has actually changed her mind on anything?

What I didn't expect was I'd end up spending like half an hour explaining Shoujo Kakumei Utena of all things during that video reaction.

I was kinda impressed with my own recall of Utena despite not having watched it in full in over a decade. So I thought eh for funsies lemme cut down that part and slap it on my account. Which is the same account I've had since 2006. I've put videos up there just for my friends and small number of fans before, as you can see from this Minecraft video from 11 years ago I filmed and edited for my friend for her birthday.

And then that Utena video got 5k views. On my completely unestablished YouTube channel. And I was like... huh. I knew people are annoyed by Lily Orchard but damn.

By that point I had also already decided to react to Lily's video on the Steven Universe Movie the next stream. Cause obviously the SU movie is something pretty near and dear to me that I know very well. And Lily's video was SO BAD and had so many OUTRIGHT LIES in it I thought well hell, let's cut down the two SU reacts into a video too!

It'll probably get like 10k views tops.

And then I'll just fuck off back into the shadows whence I came.

And I suddenly found myself with 3,000 followers.

And I suddenly found myself monetized.

And that video just passed 200k views now. In 3 months.

So I was like... well shit. Now I have this new audience over here on YouTube. I should probably actually give them something. I mean the added revenue stream is nice but I'm not looking to become a career tuber. Mostly I felt like I owed it to this new audience I now have.

So I started doing my art stream on YouTube as well! And I also have been game streaming, if you haven't checked my Lives recently. I've been streaming I Wani Hug That Gator, of all things, while doing silly voices and we're all having a blast. I already wanted to get back into game steaming this year even before this giant explosion in attention.

So for now that's the only thing resembling a plan! I'm gonna keep art and game streaming and cutting videos from those streams. I'm not a video essayist. I can't write and perform a script, I'm just not good at it. But I am very good off the cuff which is why I'm a streamer. I can explain things when prompted. So hey, come to my Wednesday art streams (2pm EST) and poke me for art and writing advice! Or to pick my brain about Steven Universe and Hazbin. I thrive on chat interaction! And then those can be shorts and videos too.

I do plan to do at least 3 or 4 more Lily reacts in the future just because they're videos I think would be funny to react to. But after that? Who knows!

#Sai-chan #YouTube #Ask Answers

[ohnococo]

Nuestro Planeta | Ino x F!Rreader

Ino always offers to help when you're anxious. This time, you decide to take him up on his offer.

❧ WC: 3.8k

❧ Warnings: anxiety, anxiety/panic attacks, soothing, comfort, new relationship, comfort/no hurt, kissing, ino talks you through both a panic attack and touching you, explicit consent, condom use, vaginal fingering, vaginal sex, praise, loverboy ino, moaning/whining, dirty talk, pet names/praise (my girl, cute, sweet, baby)

You’d only been on two dates when Ino had told you to just text him whenever you were stressed, and he’d help take your mind off of whatever was worrying you. It had left you feeling disarmed because from the way he looked at you it was clear that he really meant it, even though you’d only casually mentioned being anxious sometimes. He had even reiterated the sentiment when you’d quickly tried to downplay just how often you dealt with your persistent worries. He assured you that he’d be there for you, he’d take your mind off of things, he’d make it better - for a little while, at least.

You didn’t take him up on the offer for some time, past a few texts venting over small daily frustrations, but each time he’d always ask the same things.

'Want me to come over?' It always felt too late to have him driving so far.

'Wanna go for a drive?' And waste his gas just to listen to you trying not to spiral? That felt like too much too.

'Want me to call you?' It made you clam up the first few times, leaving it to texts and thanking him for his kind offers to settle your nerves.

Eventually, you do take him up on this particular offer, and it works. The sound of his voice on the phone immediately has your heart racing over how soft and sweet it is, rather than racing from your previous anxieties. He genuinely doesn’t seem to mind either, as he encourages you to move from minimising your problems to just stating them outright, letting it all out for him to listen without judgement. It helps, just like he’s promised.

It helps enough that the next time you casually mention another stressor in your life and he makes his usual suggestions, you take him up on the second offer instead. He picks you up, and takes you on a drive through quiet little neighbourhoods. With the windows cracked and the roads near empty so late at night, you feel like the world is so much bigger than your worries, your head suddenly as clear as the night sky above. He listens, he makes you laugh, he plays you songs you love and songs you learn to love because they now remind you of him. This too, just like he promised, helps.

The next time he doesn’t even have to ask more than once. You’re tired, you’re stressed, chest tight and head spinning as you enter that late night spiral over the things you’ve done, didn’t do, things you still need to do.

'Want me to come over?'

You only hesitate for only a moment, not even able to string together an excuse for why you really didn’t want to waste his time. Because this time you need it, and this time you have zero doubts about the ways Takuma can help settle your worries.

When he’s finally there with you, still in his pyjamas as he sits on your bed with his hand on your thigh and his eyes worried and receptive, you try to talk about it. To explain all the separate tiny cuts of thoughts and experiences and expectations that have left you with this open wound tonight. It’s hard though, when your stomach is churning and all your brain wants to do is spin and spin until you’re sucked into your own vortex of anxiety. You have a chill running up your back, weak legs, and you’re lightheaded enough that instead of continuing your barely decipherable half-statements, you just lie back on your bed, covering your eyes with your hands and taking quick shallow breaths.

Ino lies down beside you, putting a hand on your chest. “Hey, I’m here. Look at me, okay?”

You move your hands, letting them rest at your sides on the bed, and look into his eyes. He spreads his fingers across your chest as he starts taking deep breaths.

“C’mon, breathe with me. Like this.”

You do, first deep breath jagged and not quite enough to fill your shaking lungs, breath out accompanied by a pitiful low hum. Ino presses a kiss to your forehead, before leaning back to keep his eyes locked on yours.

“Good job, baby. Again.”

He takes a deep, exaggerated breath in, and this time your inhale is a little smoother, lungs a little fuller, before you’re puckering your lips to match his and letting out a hiss of a breath. He smiles, big and sparkling, nodding.

“That’s my girl,” he gives you another kiss, this time on the nose, “Keep going.”

You repeat the action, synced with Ino, and you start to feel less clammy and much more aware of his warm hand on your chest, and the way his thumb was gently stroking at your skin. He says nothing this time and the two of you just continue the deep breaths in tandem.

It’s soothing, intimate even, as you look into his eyes and find a quiet confidence to cling to there, exhaled breaths colliding in the space between you two. The tightness of your chest subsides with his touch, and the numbness of your limbs is traded for goosebumps as you realise just how relieved and almost proud he looks as your panic settles.

In time, your heart steadies, and you find matching his pace natural. You don’t know quite how long the two of you have been at this, but you know that Ino didn’t falter for even a second and it has butterflies replacing the worried churning in your stomach and a need blossoming even further below. He must see some change for the better in your face, as his breathing returns to normal and he offers more encouragement.

“There you go. Wanna try to tell me about it again?”

You can think a little more clearly now, looking past Ino and up at your ceiling for a moment before deciding that this time you wanted something else to ease your worries. So you shake your head no, and bring a hand to rest on the back of his neck.

You’re both surprised for a moment, you because you feel unbelievably exhausted after what had just happened, Ino because he wasn’t expecting you to decide to make a move - though he doesn’t shy away from your touch as you run your fingers through the hairs at the base of his scalp in an attempt to pull him closer.

He wasn’t quite expecting the way you look at his mouth either, brows raising as he lets out a happy little, “Oh?”

The distance is too much, but as you lift your head to close it, the tiredness seems to have made your body much heavier than you’d anticipated, and you settle back down on your bed. Ino takes the cue, leaning down to brush his soft lips against yours, smiling when you’re already parting your lips for more. He dips his tongue into your mouth, just enough to taste you, before you slide your arm around the back of his neck, pulling him in deeper with the weight of it.

He’s slow, careful, letting you guide his movements, letting you breathe into each other's mouths, before he’s pulling back despite having your arm hooked over him.

“You sure you wanna do this? I can just lay here with you, that’s okay too.”

You pull him back in, answering with another kiss as you slide your other hand around his body, trying to tug him on top of you and into your arms. He chuckles into your mouth, brushing his nose against yours and giving you smaller pecks. “Okay then.”

This time, when his lips meet yours, he’s taking the initiative, sliding his tongue against yours and offering an appreciative hum when you let a small moan into his mouth. He shifts the arm he’s propping himself up above you with under your neck, acting to help you keep your head tilted just so for him to keep his soft lips working at yours, and his other hand brushes at your cheek slowly.

You’re still trying to pull him on top of you, arms heavy and uncooperative enough that you can’t quite gain purchase, and he smiles into your kiss as he only shifts his body further away from you. His hand moves from your face, thumb brushing at your lower lip before he makes his way down your chest, around to squeeze at your waist, then lower still until his fingers are kneading at your hip. It fills you with the energy to move them, rocking lazily towards him, seeking something to grind against, and he gives you that relief once his hand settles between your legs.

A nod is the most you can muster to encourage him as all of your concentration is focused on the dull buzz humming through your body with Ino’s every touch. He rubs slow circles with his palm over your pajamas, pulling away from your kiss to smile and coo with every sweet noise he draws from you.

He slides his hand under your waistband to touch you directly, grazing his fingers over your pussy gently and leaning back to smile down at you when you angle your hips up for more. When he finally slides his fingers through your folds, feeling the wetness there, he watches you carefully as he moves. The feel of his fingers only makes you more lightheaded, but something in your eyes makes him stop, even if it leaves you whining and clamping your thighs around his hand in a wordless plea for him to keep moving.

“Hey…”

You look up at him, heat only growing in your chest at the way he’s smiling, lopsided, with gentle eyes that only leave your mind more scrambled than before.

“If you’re not sure if you wanna do this, we won’t. It’s okay.”

You shake your head, trying again to pull him close with heavy arms, “I want it.”

There’s a flash of worry in his face for a moment, before he’s withdrawing his fingers entirely to press his palm against you instead. “I can feel that, but you just…”

He bites his lips, brows furrowing as he tries to find the words for what he’s seeing. “You look like you’re not really in it, y’know?”

It makes sense to you, and you have to be honest with yourself enough to admit that despite the work he’d done to soothe you, the same work he’d unintentionally done to inspire this sudden ache, you still felt like you weren’t fully back to yourself. He sees that, and the fact that he sees it leaves your stomach doing backflips as you try to bring forward some coherent thought to keep his hands on you.

“Takuma, I want it, I really really want it.”

He nods, still dragging his teeth across his lower lip as he thinks, taking in your face for a bit longer before he offers a solution. “Let me talk you through it, okay?”

You’re too far gone to parse what he even means by that, but you nod, rocking your hips against his hand, wanting whatever it takes to have him soothe the ache inside of you.

“I’m gonna slide a finger inside, slowly.” He rubs a finger through all the wetness gathered there, stopping just shy of where you want his touch most, before he circles at your entrance, not quite going through with the action just yet.

“It’s too soon to touch your clit,” he presses a kiss to your cheek, as if that would give you more patience, “gotta make sure it’s all sensitive first.”

“It is…”

“Shhh,” he presses a kiss to the other cheek, pulling back to watch your face when he finally presses a finger inside of your warmth, already dragging across your spongy walls in a way that has you fluttering around him. “I don’t wanna rush into anything.”

You close your eyes as you nod, accepting his logic, not that you had the energy to plead even if that were what Ino wanted you to do. You can tell it isn’t, though. He isn’t teasing, he isn’t asking you for more, he’s just savouring it. So you do too, canting your hips when he starts moving his finger slowly but steadily inside of you. Just as a soft warmth spreads through you straight from your core, he’s the one pleading first, like you could do anything but oblige him when he was being so good to you.

“Will you look at me, baby? I wanna make sure you’re enjoying it.”

The thought that he could be unsure of the signals your needy body was sending him makes you laugh, and he gives you the sweetest little pout as he sucks in air through his teeth at the feel of you clenching around his finger gently. Still, you keep your gaze on him just as he’s asked, and you’re glad you do as he looks down at you adoringly, smiling when your brows furrow as he curls his finger slightly.

“Gonna add another finger, is that okay?”

You nod, and he’s slow to follow through, pressing two fingers in this time and resuming the pace and pressure that was stirring you up before. It only builds that gentle hum radiating from his movements, and you spread your legs a little wider as he picks up the pace until he’s absolutely beaming at the sticky sounds of his fingers sliding into you.

“You hear that? Sounds so good.”

You bite your lips, stifling a whine, and he’s quick to lean down and kiss you, prompting you to open your mouth for him. “Can I hear you too?”

His words have you clenching around him again, and it leaves him laughing breathlessly, rubbing his nose against yours and giving you a quick peck.

“Babyyyy, of course I wanna hear you. You sound so cute.”

That draws a moan from you outright, as you start rocking your hips up into his movements. It only spurs him on, his voice going quieter so you really have to focus on what he’s saying to you.

“I’m gonna touch your clit now too.” You’re barely nodding before his thumb brushes against you just as promised and you let a little whine loose from deep in your chest. He rubs circles against it, then slides side to side, experimenting, watching your reactions, until he finds what has your eyes rolling and your thighs clenching.

“That’s how you like it?” He presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, unwilling to interrupt your noises now. “Good to know.”

Your moans get higher, lids heavy as he carves his steady path towards your orgasm, but he wants just one more reassurance from you.

“You wanna cum like this?”

You can’t think anymore, and your gaze flicks from his mouth to his eyes as you try to decide what it is that you really wanted.

“Yeah? You do?” He keeps his pace steady, feeling your breaths come faster as a pressure builds inside of you. What you really wanted out of all of this returns to you then, and you shake your head.

His brows raise and he cocks his head, “No?”

You shake your head again.

“What do you want then, baby? I’m only gonna give you what you want.”

“Fuck me.”

“You want me to fuck you?”

“Yeah.” You nod to reiterate your words, and he nods along with you, giving you another kiss, soft and surprisingly chaste considering he was knuckles deep inside of you, before pulling back when you stick your tongue out to reach his.

“I’m gonna stop now, okay?”

Another nod from you and his hand is pulling away. Even though you’d been warned, you can’t help whining a little at the loss of contact, and when Ino stands you find yourself smiling at the way his cock tents his pyjamas. He smiles back, following your gaze to his bulge, wiggling his hips to make the protrusion swing slightly and laughing at the way your eyes light up a little.

Your gaze is brought back up to him when he gestures around the room, “Uhh… you got a condom?”

You blank for a moment, trying to pull your thoughts back to the pragmatic, glad Ino was thinking straight for the both of you.

“I didn’t think we were gonna do anything, so…”

Your thoughts find you, as you point to your bag on your chair across the room. “Inside zip.”

“Right.” He’s quick on his feet, and you slide further back onto your bed, as he rifles through the bag and lifts the foil up as if he’d found treasure.

Ino takes large steps back to you, settling a knee on the bed as he pulls his pyjamas down and shoves them just under his ass, tearing the foil open with his teeth and rolling the condom down his length carefully. He glances back at you as he does, offering you a beaming smile and raised brows, as if checking you hadn’t changed your mind, and it pushes you in to action as you hook your thumbs into the waistband of your own bottoms, pushing them down with the bit of recovered strength you had.

He’s quick to help, taking over the work and pulling them down your legs and off to pool at the foot of your bed, before he’s settling himself between your thighs.

“I’ll take it slow,” he leans over you, propped up on one hand, and kisses at your brow as he lines himself up at your entrance, “even though you’re so wet for me.”

He’s true to his word as he pushes in slowly, and you clench his shirt tighter the deeper he slides, until his hips are pressed to yours and he’s groaning at the feel of you around him.

“You’re so tight, baby.”

You can only chuckle, appreciative of the praise even as it leaves you feeling oddly embarrassed with how amazed he’d sounded as he’d said it. As he pulls out, only half way before he’s pressing back in, he hisses at the feel of you, eyes rolling a little with each slow push back into your heat.

“Fuck…” he looks up at you, as if he’s delivering bad news with a slight pout, “I don’t know how slow I can take it, actually…”

It has you laughing again, and his voice cracks a little as he moans at the feel of you clenching around him. “You don’t have to go slow for me.”

He presses in a little harder, a little faster too, and you gasp, pressing your hips up to meet his motion as he does it again, “You sure?”

“Yes.”

Ino leans in, and the kiss he gives you feels like a thanks, accompanied by a sigh of relief as he begins fucking you faster, pressing further than his length allows each time he’s buried deep.

“God you could ruin my life with a pussy like this.”

It makes the blood rush to your face, and you let out a moan that has him throbbing inside of you.

“I know you won’t though, you’re too sweet to me.”

It’s incredible how Ino has you smiling, giggling even, as he fucks you with a pace that has your pussy squelching and his balls slapping your ass. It makes your head spin, and makes your stomach clench as you try your best to give back some of the same through heaving breaths.

“You- fuck- you’re so sweet… you came over and helped me… now you’re gonna make me cum too?” You whine as he swirls his hips at the end of his thrusts, sliding your hands up and under his shirt to grab at his chest as if you needed to steady yourself.

“Of course baby, I’ll do it whenever you need it.”

“God, Takuma…”

He groans at the sound of his name coming from your mouth, leaning down to bring his lips to yours and fuck into you harder. You can barely keep up with his kisses, as he whines into your mouth and manages to keep his movements steady even as his tongue is sloppy against yours. Your head is spinning from how close you are, how desperate you are for that final push as his cock insists that you let go and cum around him.

He’s just as close, and lets you know as much in a broken voice. “Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum.”

Ino talking like you were doing anything other than lying there makes you feel like your whole pussy is throbbing as the pressure inside of you heightens until you’re arching up into him, tensing and gasping at him as you clench and cream around his cock. He pulls back, fucking you through your orgasm as he watches you come undone beneath him, moaning and panting and holding on until you’ve passed your peak before he’s crying out, desperately offering a warning you were too far gone to hear.

“Gonna cum- gonna cum- fuck!”

His hips stutter though he tries his best to keep at the pace you no longer needed, and he buries his face in your neck, breath hitching in a little burst of a whine with each quick snap of his hips as his orgasm flows through him. Even as he finishes, he’s still offering shallow, idle thrusts, catching his breath on top of you, kissing at your neck, until he has to stop before it’s too much for you both.

He moves his face back from your neck, looking up at you with eyes barely open and a lopsided smile. It leaves you with no choice but to wrap your arms around his neck and kiss his forehead, worries long gone and instead replaced with equal parts appreciation and adoration. He leans up further, letting you kiss him properly as he presses his lips to yours gently, before he’s leaning on his elbow above you again.

“I’m gonna pull out now.”

You nod, and he’s slow to move, giving you another quick kiss when the feel of him sliding out sends a shiver through you. He pulls the condom off, standing and scanning your room until he finds a small trash can by your desk to drop it in. He turns back to you, stretching, before realising his softening cock is still out, chuckling as he tucks himself away despite the mess you’d made at the base of him.

“Hey, uh…” He bites his lip and rubs at the back of his neck, looking bashful, as though he were about to ask a question that just might be a step too far. “I’m kinda too sleepy to drive home now…”

You laugh, patting the bed next to you. “Stay over, then.”

He’s beaming again, and it occurs to you that you’d probably offer him anything just to see that smile as often as possible. He’s back to your bed in an instant, lying down next to you and pulling you into him.

“You’re too good to me.”

#my writing #reminder minors and ageless blogs get blocked #jjk smut #jjk fanfic #reader insert #ino takuma x reader #ino x you #ino x y/n #ino x reader #takuma ino x reader

[strwberri-milk]

May I request if possible a gn!/afab!reader who responds aggressively to kaeya’s flirting bc they are afraid to fall in love?

You know that Kaeya is a flirt. It's pretty obvious from the second you meet him that he has sweetened words for everyone he comes across, yourself included.

Paying him no mind, you treat him the way you would treat anybody else. However, to him and the blooming feelings he has for you this isn't enough. He needs to see you react more, wants to see if he can make you flustered by his words.

When he ups the ante and flirts with you more you can't help but lash out. You try to keep calm, but the way he speaks to you feels insulting. To you, it's a reminder of how he's just teasing you and that he doesn't mean any of the sweet things he says.

Your cold indifference escalates to outright refusal, things coming to a head one day when all your issues come to a head. You already woke up in a foul mood, and Kaeya flirting with you and reminding you that the thing you feared the most was being dangled right in front of you made things less than optimal, giving him a look he didn't expect.

"Just quit it already." You say coldly, much to Kaeya's shock.

"Quit what? What are you talking about?" he says, raising a brow. He knows you aren't the biggest fan of his flirting, but you'd never reacted this badly.

"Quit acting like you love me or something. You know how awful it is of you to do that to me?!"

"Hey, what do you -"

You don't give him the chance to finish his sentence before storming off, leaving him confused and upset.

He'll confront you again on your doorstep, holding the door open with his hand as he tries to explain to you that he's being genuine. You aren't buying it, arms crossed as you glare at him from your doorway.

Kaeya is practically imploring you at this point and you don't believe him until he's got his arm wrapped around your waist and he's pulling you in. You think you're about to call his bluff when he presses his lips against yours in a way that's both desperate and soft.

Your eyes are wide and when he steps back and opens his again you can see the worry in his gaze. He's trying so hard to be subtle about it but the fact that you haven't responded is worrying him too much. He's afraid to even ask and you just sigh, biting the bottom of your lip.

"Was that not clear enough to you? Do you need me to do something else to prove that I care about you?" he asks softly, knowing he should have expected rejection yet still wishing it didn't sting this hard.

"It's not that. I just..."

You try to find the words to convey your fears and hesitation, the fact that you know you'll only be hurt if you let this go on for too long.

"We can take it at your own pace. How about that?"

Kaeya seems a little desperate, still holding you in his arms as you give him an uncertain look. You don't know how to respond, but it seems he's sort of figured out where your lack of a response lies, resting his forehead on yours.

"I'm scared too. I've never let myself feel this way for anybody before because I know it'll end badly. But, there's something different about you. We can try this together, learn how to grow together and if you change your mind you'll always have an out. How does that sound?"

He sounds so vulnerable and unlike himself usually and you're inclined to believe him with how quiet his voice is. You can barely hear him over the pounding of your own heart and against your better judgment, you nod.

#kaeya x reader #kaeya alberich x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader

[nobodyfamousposts]

If the Dolls somehow made it to bigfatbreak's Viceroy AU, what do you think they would do?

Well, I wouldn't want to deviate too much from @bigfatbreak's au, so given the circumstances of the AU and Adrien's lack of knowledge that Marinette is Ladybug, the wish would either have to have been made pre-Mama's Day and reveal or Adrien lost his memories of Chaton and coparenting with Marinette. Or alternatively the dolls were just messing around and end up in an alternate reality and just decide to fix things as they come across them.

With that said, Chaton and Littlebug wouldn't know what happened or why the world changed, but they would still find their way to their respective parents and their new circumstances.

Chaton would go to the bakery and find Grand Mama is gone and Mama is sad and the butter-lies are everywhere. Grand Papa catches Chaton immediately. Tom for his part is initially wary, but thanks to his use of the Butterfly Miraculous, he can talk with Chaton and sense his emotions. A bit surprised that a doll has emotions, and even more surprised to find out the doll cares so much about Marinette. With the empathy powers of the Butterfly and the information from Nooroo and Chaton himself, Tom realizes Chaton carried over from the previous timeline and was created based on the Chat Noir hero. Much like Nooroo, Tom has Chaton stay with Marinette to keep her company and keep her safe. Chaton is happy about this since it means he can be with Mama still, even if she is different. Marinette is surprised with this, but hey, she's already met Nooroo and knows magic is real. Plus Chaton is too cute to be scared of.

Littlebug goes to Adrien. She is relieved Adrien is okay and Adrien in turn is relieved Littlebug at least is still around in this new crazy world. Littlebug is confused as to the changes. Seeing Adrien's mother is alive when Chaton tells her that Marinette's mother isn't. She finds this change unfavorable especially as she learns more about Emilie and comes to be increasingly disappointed in the mother Adrien had spoken to her so much about. Not helped by the fact that she still very much dislikes Gabriel and becomes even more suspicious of him. She stays hidden as much as possible and doesn't risk letting Gabriel find her, even when she's pretending to be a toy (especially important as Ladybug isn't a thing here in this timeline).

...of course, that's not to say she doesn't mess with him. Gabriel still finds himself the subject of a number of unpleasant happenstances when it's most inconvenient for him.

When Adrien starts regularly going to the bakery and spending time with Marinette, Littlebug goes with him. This naturally leads her to 1) reunite with Chaton and 2) discover Tom has the Butterfly Miraculous. Yes, he finds her just like he found Chaton by sensing her presence with the Butterfly Miraculous, but make no mistake: she finds him first.

She isn't sure what to think about him using the Butterfly Miraculous, but he isn't Hawk Moth, isn't mean to Nooroo, and has not nor intends to hurt Adrien or Marinette. Not to mention that when Tom (being able to sense Littlebug's emotions and her fierce protectiveness) outright informs her of Hawk Moth targeting Marinette and his plans to track him down....yeaaah, Littlebug is ALL on board with that. She agrees to helping him. Uses the time Adrien comes by to visit with Chaton but also plan with Tom and let him know anything she knows or remembers or finds out. She helps him spy on Gabriel in particular, since in her mind if ANYONE is stinky enough to be Hawk Moth, it's him.

Littlebug and Chaton would have full memories of the previous timeline. They would know each other and about Marinette and Adrien being Ladybug and Chat Noir. Sadly, they wouldn't know that Gabriel is Hawk Moth otherwise things would be resolved very quickly as Chaton would tell Tom about him right away and Littlebug would enact ALL. UNHOLY. VENGEANCE upon him before Tom even gets a chance to.

Then there's Chaton. He's a good boy, so he's never far from Marinette and helps her any way he can. It's hard because she's sad and working too much so often, but he does his best! And it's strange being around the not-quite-Butter-lies (Fairies?), but they're nice and friendly so he doesn't eat them, which Nooroo quite appreciates. Despite the changes, Chaton would be happy here.

.....if only the mean whispies would go away.

He can see them. See them and feel them. Dark icky things that twist and coil and attach to Mama. He thinks at first they're what's making her sad. But then they attack his Mama at certain times. He doesn't know why, but he doesn't like it. So he bats the whispies away if he can.

....sometimes that means the whispies hurt him instead.

He doesn't like them.

He. Doesn't. Like. Them.

He can push at them to help Mama breathe, but he can't fight them off. Not entirely. He tries though! He's a good boy! But it's hard. And it hurts. And he gets tired more easily because Mama doesn't have the Pinkling.

Grand Papa is different here. He doesn't know about the whispies but seems to understand when Chaton tries to tell him. All Chaton knows is that the whispies are hurting Mama and were caused by the past Hawk Moth. Grand Papa is trying to find him to make the whispies stop.

Grand Papa is better than Meanie Moth. He listens to Chaton. And Littlebug seems to like him, too! So Chaton will trust Grand Papa to stop Meanie Moth. He will protect Mama in the meantime.

And when Chaton gets tired or is feeling hurt, Mama and the Fairies help him feel better.

But that's okay! He's a good boy and he'll take it so Mama doesn't have to.

...

Ultimately, the dolls try to help the best way they can.

Chaton by protecting Marinette.

Littlebug by finding the one responsible and making him pay.

#ml crossover #nobody answers #dolls au #viceroy au #villain dad au #littlebug and chaton noir #littlebug #chaton noir #dolls angst #gabriel is an idiot

[quitealotofsodapop]

One thing I don't think is mentioned enough is the fact that during the journey, a lot of Celestials took the opportunity to just... outright FUCK around with Wukong. Like, they'd send all sorts of demons their way intentionally just to intervene and say "Oh hey! You found my favorite pet!" Even Guanyin hadn't been innocent of this considering she had this huge fit over her pet goldfish. And if they weren't using their pets they were finding other methods to delay or otherwise force the Pilgrims off the beaten path and into danger out of some sort of test, spite, or pettiness.

Now, think about how in the both JTTW and Slow Boiled au Wukond actually was pregnant or not during the journey, and in Century au, the Heavenly Court BELIEVE he was pregnant. So imagine how those guys feel after they decided to fuck with Wukong put of spite and found out they unknowingly were stressing a pregnant monkey out!?

Yeah! Characters like Gold Star hide their identities to aid the main characters, while some are just... doing it for fun? Are they LARP-ing? And Monkey has Gold-Vision; why does he always not recognise these people even from his Celestial days?

Guanyin set up a whole honey trap knowing that half the squad ain't into it, and dropped the gang on their way home cus they missed 1 story event. The abbey with the Ginseng tree were pretty rude af. The Buddha's own servants tried to fleece the gang of the scriptures. Multiple kingdoms suffered cus King Who-Care shot somebody's bird-cousin, or knocked over a table of offerings. And the 28 Lunar Mansions took almost 13 years to realise that the Wood Wolf was missing.

Lao Tzu's lab assisants literally run off with his stuff and become demon lords for lulz (or they were the assisants that let the Rhino King/Buffalo out and were scared that they'd get in trouble). And lets not forget RHINO KING. Bruh, you somehow lost track of a gotdang celestial Bull-Rhino!?

Guanyin's not immune from this; TWO of her pets became horrific demons (Goldfish and Sai Taisui) and are arguably the most irredeemable of all the villains faced.

Lady Earth Flow/Albino Rat/Bat spirit is even described as Li Jing's adoptive daughter - how the f that happen?? How did he lose track of a whole kid so bad that she became a vampire-esque demon?

Manjusri let their cat (Azure Lion) out TWICE. And they cursed the Wuji kingdom for tossing them in a sewer for preeching.

After a point, I'd imagine Wukong in the stone egg aus would just throw his hands up and start yelling at the gods directly. He's even bolder in the Jttw Stone Egged au given that he has Macaque as back-up.

You know that chapter where Rhino King steals all of the Heavenly Army's powers and weapons, and the immortals are all infighting so hard that Wukong has to be the voice of reason?

Imagine a tiny hormonal monkey just going nuts at these gods. He's screaming in their faces. He's demanding Nezha lift him up so he can look General Li Jing in the eye. He's telling them what good are they as fighters if they only feel safe with their weapons and powers? Wukong has a *damn* good reason he ain't taking on Rhino King in a 1-v-1 rn, whats all these gods excuse?!

The gods are too surprised and intimidated to argue back. And you better believe a certain alchemist is getting a smack for letting a whole animal loose from his lab.

#slow boiled stone egg au #jttw stone egged au #sun wukong #pregnancy tw #lmk #lego monkie kid #journey the west #jttw

[tenkasato]

Saw that you’re writing for knb! That’s so great!! Awesome Midorima pieces! Do you write for Takao? Some fluff or hurt/comfort? I’m having bad back aches recently so some pick-me-up would be very welcome. Thank you!! Hope you’re doing well!

You know what, besides Kuroko, I think Takao would also win the best boyfriend award. This cute, handsome bean is simply the sweetest.

You've known Takao since your first day in Shutoku. He was a seatmate, the kid who wore a boyish grin that matched the warm glint in those raven-colored eyes.

"Hi, Takao Kazunari, at your service."

You were shy. He was friendly.

You enjoyed reading. He loved playing basketball.

You loved flowers. He gave you one every so often.

You were keen to the feelings he harbored for you though he never verbalized them outright. Uncertainty, with a little rough sprinkle of fear, littered over your heart—a thin layer of dust that kept you from reciprocating. Everyone told you to give it a try. Give him a chance.

It's not easy. Baring your heart out like that at a young age.

Even when you knew Takao to be a good person, through and through.

"You wanna just stay friends?" he asked one time, unknowingly pulling out the words from your knotted tongue. You inhaled sharply, giving him a side glance as you both continued to stroll on the pavement.

Takao had his arms folded, hands locked behind his neck in a relaxed posture. A soft smile quirked his lips, and if you hadn't hanged out with him often, you'd miss the very subtle melancholy in his otherwise carefree tone.

“What made you mention that now all of the sudden?” you tested the waters.

There was a brief pause from his side. You busied yourself by lightly pounding on your lower back with a closed fist. Your back has been killing you the past couple of days. Long hours seated in front of your desk with your nose buried into your notes always gave you back aches.

Normally you’d be annoyed with the bothersome discomfort, but now you're rather thankful for the distraction.

However, this doesn't go unnoticed by your friend.

“Does it hurt?” he asked, peering at your back.

“No,” you lied, putting your hands in front of you instead.

Takao made a low hum, before switching his glance ahead of him again. “Shin-chan made a comment this morning. He doesn't voice out his opinions most of the time, so hearing it from him meant something.”

“O-oh, is that so?” you stuttered, putting on a fake smile. You wished you looked amused rather than uneasy.

You felt panic boiling in your stomach. Palms clammy, you started to quicken your pace. It's not that you felt nothing for him. You liked him back, a lot. But relationships always terrified you.

“Hey, are you okay?”

His voice made you freeze on your tracks. It was only then when you realized that he's stopped walking, gawking at you as if you were an apparition.

“Takao-kun, I—I’m not so sure about…I’m,” you stammered, words clattering over like your thoughts, until you came up with a blatant lie: "My back's killing me…"

You felt his hand on your head. Biting your bottom lip, you raised your head to meet the knowing gaze you’ve always seen him wear. There was something about that smile, that infuriatingly cherubic smile, that made you want to reach out too and ruffle his hair.

“What are you, an old woman?" he laughed and dropped his hand and reached for his pocket. You watched him shift his balance, looking just a tiny bit of sheepish before he looked to you again.

“Listen, everyone probably knows I have had a huge crush on you since day one.”

You blinked rapidly, wanting to tear your eyes from his as he went on. How could he be so confident?

“But if you ask me, I’m perfectly content with just being friends. So forget what I said, forget that I told you of Shin-chan being uncharacteristically nosey. Forget it. Let’s just enjoy our time together, hm?”

You felt your shoulder relaxing at that. It almost felt like you’ve been released from a vice-like grip around your ribcage. Grateful, you find the smile slipping across your lips easier and more naturally.

“I agree.”

Takao takes in your smile, shrugging good-naturedly before dropping to one knee.

With a shock of surprise, you open your mouth to tell him off when he beats you to it. “Hop on."

“What?” you blushed, “No way! I can manage on my own. Stand up. Stand up. You look like a frog from behind.”

Takao bursted into laughter, the sound of it ringing pleasantly in your ears. “Like that lucky charm Shin-chan brought the other day?”

“Yeah, but much uglier.”

He threw you a scandalous gasp. “No one's ever called me ugly before!”

“I mean it, Takao-kun,” you groaned and pulled him up. Takao lets you, but keeps his arm linked to yours. You wanted to comment on it, but decided against it. You let him lead you ahead.

“Promise me, when you finally say ‘yes’ to me next time, you’ll let me pick you up and carry you. Sounds good?”

“And what makes you think I’d even say ‘yes’?” you challenge.

He makes a low whistle. You tug against his arm in retort.

“I’m a man who never gives up,” he chirps.

Thank you for waiting for this, anon! I know it's been so long. Please consider this as a Christmas gift ^^

#takao x reader #takao kazunari #takao kazunari x reader #kuroko no basket #knb #tenkasato writes

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hey there! How are you? Hope you’re having an awesome 2024 until now and that you’re doing well. Your blog like always it’s amazing and helps a lot all of us, the “Morally Grey Character” post that you’ve posted recently came right on time since I’ve been working on a character like that for my book ❤️

I wanted to ask you though, since you’re incredible at explaining honestly and also super knowledgeable on everything we’ve sent to you up until now: How do I turn two Enemies into Enemies With Benefits?

Because I’ve been trying to do this for my story, but every idea that comes to my mind to make them go from simple Enemies to Enemies with Benefits I’m afraid might come out too “forced” whereas I want it to be more like… Natural and smooth because they both have a big attraction to one another. I’m aware that I’ve gotta build the sexual tension and tension in general between them, but I’m confused as to how, at what point and what makes the two characters make the step of becoming Enemies with Benefits.

I know my ask sounds a lot confusing, I apologize in advance… I’m not good at explaining things without dragging it 😭

And also I thank you in advance for the answer you’ll give to my question! Looking forward to it! Have a good day 🫶🏻❤️

I am truly grateful for your kindness and support. It brings me joy to see that my blog is helpful and informative to you all. I hope this post helps clarify any questions you may have about the enemies to enemies-with-benefits trope. Please don't hesitate to contact me in my Tumblr inbox with any questions or concerns about novel writing at any time. <3 - Rin T.

Crafting Compelling Enemies-to-Enemies with Benefits: A Guide for Fiction Writers

In the realm of fiction, relationships come in all shapes and sizes. One particularly intriguing dynamic that captivates audiences is the enemies-to-lovers trope. But what about its lesser-known counterpart, enemies-to-enemies with benefits? In this comprehensive guide, I'll help you delve into the intricacies of this complex relationship arc.

Understanding the Enemies-to-Enemies with Benefits Dynamic:

At first glance, the enemies-to-enemies with benefits trope may seem paradoxical. After all, how can two individuals entrenched in animosity find common ground, let alone engage in a mutually beneficial arrangement? Yet, beneath the surface, lies a rich tapestry of emotions, desires, and vulnerabilities waiting to be explored.

To begin, let's dissect the core elements of this trope:

Establishing Initial Conflict: Every compelling narrative thrives on conflict, and the enemies-to-enemies with benefits trope is no exception. You must first establish a strong foundation of animosity between your characters. This conflict can stem from a myriad of sources, such as clashing personalities, differing ideologies, or past grievances.

Transitioning to Cooperation: The beauty of this trope lies in its ability to subvert expectations. As your characters navigate their adversarial relationship, they may find themselves begrudgingly working together towards a common goal. This transition from outright hostility to reluctant cooperation forms the crux of their dynamic.

Exploring Unlikely Connections: As your characters spend more time together, they may begin to uncover unexpected similarities or shared experiences. These moments of vulnerability and camaraderie serve as catalysts for deeper emotional connections, blurring the lines between adversaries and potential allies.

Embracing Complexity: In crafting an enemies-to-enemies with benefits storyline, embrace the complexity of human relationships. Your characters are multifaceted individuals with their own motivations, flaws, and desires. Allow room for growth, redemption, and self-discovery as they navigate the tumultuous waters of their relationship.

Tips for Crafting Authentic Character Dynamics:

Now that we've outlined the foundational elements of the enemies-to-enemies with benefits trope, let's explore some practical tips for bringing this dynamic to life in your writing:

Develop Fully Fleshed-Out Characters: Your characters should be more than mere archetypes or caricatures. Invest time in fleshing out their backgrounds, motivations, and internal conflicts to create nuanced and relatable protagonists and antagonists.

Show, Don't Tell: Instead of relying on exposition to convey the evolution of your characters' relationship, show their progression through meaningful interactions, dialogue, and subtle gestures. Let their actions speak louder than words.

Create Tension Through Contrasting Moments: Contrast moments of intense conflict with unexpected moments of vulnerability or intimacy to create a compelling push-and-pull dynamic. This juxtaposition adds depth and dimension to your characters' interactions.

Allow Room for Growth and Redemption: Resist the temptation to pigeonhole your characters into rigid roles. Instead, allow them to evolve organically over the course of the narrative, undergoing personal growth and redemption arcs that defy expectations.

Balance Heart and Humor: Inject humor and wit into your dialogue and narrative to lighten the tension and add levity to your characters' interactions. A well-timed quip or playful banter can go a long way in humanizing your protagonists and engaging your readers.

FAQ:

Q: Can enemies-to-enemies with benefits relationships realistically lead to a happy ending? A: While the journey may be fraught with obstacles and challenges, the beauty of fiction lies in its ability to defy conventions and expectations. With careful planning and nuanced character development, even the most unlikely relationships can blossom into something beautiful.

Q: How do I avoid falling into clichés or tropes when writing this dynamic? A: The key to avoiding clichés is to approach your characters and their relationships with authenticity and depth. Focus on crafting unique personalities, motivations, and conflicts that defy traditional stereotypes. Additionally, be willing to subvert expectations and take risks in your storytelling.

Checklist for Crafting Enemies-to-Enemies with Benefits Storylines:

☑️ Establish a strong foundation of conflict between your characters. ☑️ Develop fully fleshed-out protagonists and antagonists with their own motivations and flaws. ☑️ Show the progression of their relationship through meaningful interactions and subtle gestures. ☑️ Allow room for growth, redemption, and personal development. ☑️ Balance tension with moments of vulnerability and humor.

Creating Sensual Tension in Enemies-to-Enemies-with-Benefits Relationships Checklist:

(More detailed checklist for you to use)

Establish a Strong Initial Conflict:

The initial conflict between the characters should be significant and believable, creating a solid foundation for their enmity.

Clearly define the reasons behind their animosity, ensuring they are compelling and emotionally charged.

Develop Multidimensional Characters:

Give each character unique and relatable personality traits, strengths, and vulnerabilities that contribute to the complexity of their relationship.

Avoid making one character solely good and the other purely evil; instead, explore shades of gray to add depth and nuance.

Gradually Reveal Vulnerabilities:

Slowly unveil the vulnerabilities and insecurities of both characters, allowing readers to empathize with their struggles.

Use these vulnerabilities to create moments of intimacy and emotional connection, which contribute to the sensual tension.

Establish Witty Banter and Verbal Sparring:

Craft sharp and intelligent dialogue, filled with verbal sparring and clever exchanges.

The characters' banter should showcase their wit, showcasing their intellectual attraction and keeping the readers engaged.

Utilize Body Language and Subtle Gestures:

Pay attention to non-verbal cues, such as body language, facial expressions, and gestures, to convey the characters' unspoken desires and attraction.

These subtle cues can create powerful moments of tension and anticipation, heightening the sensuality of the relationship.

Incorporate Intense Emotional Conflicts:

Introduce emotional conflicts and dilemmas that challenge the characters' motivations, beliefs, and desires.

These conflicts should push them closer together while simultaneously pulling them apart, intensifying the sensual tension.

Foster Unexpected Moments of Vulnerability:

Create moments of vulnerability, where the characters let their guards down and reveal their true selves.

These instances of emotional exposure deepen the connection between the characters and contribute to the evolving sensual tension.

Utilize Delayed Gratification:

Build anticipation by delaying gratification in physical encounters between the characters.

Instead of rushing into intimate scenes, use tension and desire to heighten the impact when they finally do become physically involved.

Explore Power Dynamics:

Investigate power dynamics between the characters, as power struggles can add complexity and tension to their relationship.

Allow power dynamics to shift and evolve over time, providing opportunities for character growth and deepening the sensual tension.

Show Growth and Transformation:

Illustrate how the characters evolve and undergo personal growth throughout the narrative.

As they confront their own flaws and overcome obstacles together, their sensual tension should evolve organically, reflecting their changing dynamic.

Hope this helps. Happy Writing! - Rin T.

#creative writing #on writing #writing tips #writing #thewriteadviceforwriters #writers block #how to write #writeblr #writers and poets #enemies to friends to lovers #enemies to lovers #enemies to friends trope #writing tropes #novel writing #writing blog #writer #writers on tumblr #authors on tumblr #writerscommunity #writerscorner #author #indie author #authoradvice #authors of tumblr

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for making a thread on twt against an ex online teammate?

cw: suicide baiting, mentions of grooming, possible sexting, transphobia, mentions of NSFW but no outright specifics

i (15 f) had this friend, who well call aj (fake name) (18-19 ftm i believe) back in october of last year. for context we met in a quick match when i was 14 and he was 17-18 in a video game where i also met another friend, moto (fake alias) (14 f at the time, now 15). after a few matches where we would be randomly matched together he sent me the invite to his discord server and i joined. eventually as more people joined the server (at most there were 20 or more people in the server before its deletion, most of which were minors and we were around her 'adult' friends who were anywhere from 18-30)

we would talk alot (and aj would insert herself into any conversation possible) but we would eventually have our disagreements which would end with aj threatening to kill himself, eventually this became the norm and we stopped giving a shit when he would threaten to kill himself because of how frequently he threatened it (kind of like a cry wolf situation)

around the time we stopped caring about his suicide baiting he switched tatics and tried to guilt trip us into apologizing to him for questioning her behavior (e.x. using the fact that he was neurodivergent, to elaborate someone would say "hey stop saying your going to kill yourself" and he would go "its something called a brain problem" or "i dont have pills to help me", basically blamed all of his actions on his alleged 'brain problem'). we still proceeded to not care because of how frequently he lied

on top of this, he had this streak of calling asian characters within the game feminine? a specific case (and the straw that broke the camels back for alot of my teammates) was when she called a well-loved chinese character from the game something along the lines of a femboy because they wore a traditional chinese outfit that was not "manly" (basically, didnt stop where a normal shirt stopped. im not sure what it was called and google didnt really help...) during the same time, aj identified as transgender (i believe he still does, but i no longer interact with him) and said trans women werent women because they dont get periods???

on top of this, he would also publicly do nsfw things with the adults of the server (none of the chats were role restricted. this wasnt a thing until i became a server admin and then shut it down not even 3 weeks later) and would also share nsfw/18+ topics in the server. even after the "nsfw" chat was there (we were still figuring out how to restrict it [i was coming back from a 2 year internet hiatus]) the other adults still did things along the lines of erp. aj encouraged this behavior and eventually in his new server and was talking about these things with minors (aj is about 19-20)

so after a few months of off-and-on gathering evidence (what you have just read + plus screenshots) from numerous people from his server i post the thread, and almost instantly it got posted to his server. i have a friend in that server who ended up voice chatting with him and moto (who is under a different alias in the server) and aj is literally sobbing, threatening to kill himself, and has his entire family in his room who are all looking at the thread as well. they all basically say that he doesnt look too good in the screenshots and "what were you thinking talking to these people" type of situation. aj ends up deleting the server a few days later, messages undercover-moto that he isnt making anymore servers.

im wondering if i went too far? aita?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw

[eerna]

Ok Ok so I've been thinking this for. quite a while like even before Stolen Heir was released. it's kind of controversial because I might be making mountain out of a molehill but -

I think Jurdan fans border on being disrespectful to Holly Black at times... the problem isn't what one chooses to focus on even though that annoys me too, like it's not like people can control the fact that they focus more/love a character more than the other. But I'm starting to see this especially on Instagram and Goodreads, and I think I have good reason to believe HB is more active on insta and Goodreads is like, the book reviewing site, if there's any place she may look for comments or critique it's that.

and my problem lies with the language used . HB can announce she's working on something and can give hints about it and I've seen soo many people just outright tell her "I don't care about [x] and [y] just give me JURDAN!!" or anything along that vein , there's also "I'm only reading this for Jurdan lol I kind of couldn't care less about []".

It genuinely annoys me a lot !! And I wish I could say to each their own but ykw? At some point it starts to feel like if these two characters aren't involved people don't even try to make an effort to connect with the other characters, the new protagonist, etc. To be honest your page was a breath of fresh air because I don't even see a lot of folks focus on ANYTHING in TFOTA other than this ship.

There's also the irony that so many people pride themselves on loving Jude, their morally grey female rage character, but refuse to discuss Taryn with nuance. Or Vivi, sometimes. It's weird how so many people love Madoc (justified, I like him too) then refuse to think that hey, maybe Taryn's way of coping with faerie is different than Jude and that affects her actions! something something fandom misogyny

The above unrelated paragraph is just to say that a Nicasia focused book is something many people just absolutely will not be able to handle lmao and I so dearly wish Jude and Cardan's 'screentime' is few and far in between just so that it's less palatable. But oh well.

(And after Prisoner's Throne it worries me because with the implication that the Nicasia focused book might have Jude and Cardan POVs I feel like she's catering more to these people now.

If that's how things turn out that would genuinely make me really sad because I didn't pick up her books after reading TCP, I started with Spiderwick Chronicles, then Modern Faerie Tales, and I love the way she creates atmosphere, her worldbuilding, her depiction of the weird and creepy and magical. I especially think that's her strongest suit, more than characterization, so something like this that hinges more on specific characters genuinely turns me off.)

AGREED SO MUCH WITH ALL OF ITTT I too noticed the really dumb people in her comments crapping on everything that isn't a new Jurdan book... Like, the woman was writing books and enjoyed fame 15 years before Jurdan happened. She obviously has a lot to say about her world. Why the hell would you want her to stop developing it and only focus on 2 characters??? I was a big Spiderwick fan as a kid, and when I read TFOTA I had no idea it was by the same writer but I could TELL the vibes were all there. I too think that is her specialty and I'd rather get 10 stories on different characters than 5 on Jurdan.

I want the Undersea book to be about Nicasia and part of it is because I agree, I think most of the fandom would HATE it and it would fry their brains, and I want to see it. It is dumb and petty of me, but it would be sweet vindication for all the clowns screaming into my ear that Taryn is problematic actually in case I didn't notice. Ultimately I know it is a fruitless endeavor. TFOTA has the misfortune of being too good and complicated for its main audience of tiktok book fans, but also too bad and simplified to spread into more general, unspecified fantasy circles where its themes could catch the attention of people who would know how to appreciate them. That means there is only a small portion of fans who both like the books AND have the critical thinking skills to appreciate all the things they do right outside of romance/basic female wish fulfilment.

In the end, judging by TPT, we are gonna have to take the L and accept we bet on the wrong horse and minority does not make the money. But at least we will be there together to make a mountain out of a molehill!

#eernask #eernanon #eernask talk tfota #like i said. most of this fandom would not make it 5 pages reading about ianthe tridentarius

[vaspider]

Do you have any advice you're able to give currently on dealing with ableist harassment and dogpiles? It's the whole nine yards - people putting words in our mouth even to the point of claiming we said the opposite of what we said; calling us crazy and insane and saying we should be institutionalized; blaming us for horrific and violent ableist harassment of people who also reblogged the same post we did who disagreed with us; and directly talked over and erased my experiences as a severely disabled person.

(What I said literally boiled down to: "hey, let's not moralize having hobbies because it doesn't make people less capable of harm or more likely to be an asshole, and also please stop saying all disabled people are abled enough to have hobbies because I've been disabled enough before to not be able to have even consumptive (meaning like watching tv or listening to music) hobbies for long stretches of time". There's a similar longer version of that on my personal blog as well, but the harassment is on my shared disability sideblog.)

Like I guess I just... it's okay if people disagree, but the amount of other disabled people who were actively cruel and literally saying people like me don't exist and being so desperate to shut me up talking about my experiences with ableism that they spam harassed the blog is really hard. Like I've been on the internet long enough to know that this is utterly par for the course for disability discourse and even to know that any claim of "can you believe someone said [ridiculous thing] is ableist" is a dogwhistle that it's either manipulation of or outright lies about what the original disabled person actually said in order to shut down the actual conversation but...

I know you've dealt with this, so do you have any more advice on how to handle it than "turn off anon, temporarily turn off asks if necessary, delete the reblog if the harassment gets too much" (already done, mod health comes before discourse as a hard rule)? Especially for like, dealing with the internal emotions about it and not just the situation?

Um also if you don't want to answer this at all feel free to just like, put a stop sign emoji or something and I won't send any more asks about it. I know you publish all asks but since I know this is a stressful subject I still wanna let you know that I will NOT be an unsafe person if you just wanna tell me to fuck off X)

This has been sitting in my inbox for quite a while bc I didn't have the energy to answer it.

There's no one good way to deal with dogpiles, and you've already listed most of them. A couple more, randomly:

Make sure you take time away. Go see a movie bc it'll make you put your phone away, you know?

Have someone else look at your asks and emails so you ain't gotta.

Report shit. It won't really do anything, but it'll make you feel better, anyway.

If you're actually physically threatened or any of the things really twig your "something is really wrong," make a Google Drive folder and stash screenshots in case shit escalates to you needing to talk to law enforcement. If nothing else, it'll help you feel like you're in control.

The last one is more helpful than you'd think.

I hope it's let up for you.

[bioethicists]

hey i'd really love it if you could say more about biopolitics? i hadn't heard that before and it seems fantastic.

😅 u guys humor me too much- these type of asks are like catnip for me i am rolling around on the floor

biopolitics was originally conceptualized by foucault in a series of lectures- the very simple explanation of it (which foucault scholars probably would feel doesn't do it justice) is that the state has a vested interest in creating citizens who are "healthy" (as defined by the state usually by military/work readiness) + reproducing more "healthy" citizens (in this way it often intersects with outright eugenics). people often refer to it as the politics of "making live + letting die" (necropolitics by achille mbembé is an incredible analysis of this second part, focused on colonial power's interest in determining who dies)

what this means is that, at its core, the state engages in programs to improve the "health" of the population not out of altruism but because it needs a supply of work-ready, combat-ready, reproduction-ready individuals. the concept of "health" is tied up in one's ability to perform labor in service of the state, so much so that disorder or the severity of disorder becomes defined by this ability. public health efforts center not on decreasing suffering but on restoring the population to a condition in which they can once again perform labor (including reproductive labor) + serve the greater needs of the state.

my friend cora at umadison did an excellent presentation on how the u.s evokes within "anti-obesity" campaigns a concern that "obesity" is a threat to military readiness. messaging concerning family planning/abortion are often engaged by the state to coerce certain ppl into having children + others NOT to, based on the idea of the Type of Citizen they want. on a deeper level, this haunts us from birth- were there programs to try to improve your mother's pregnancy? public school health surveys? scoliosis tests? presidential fitness tests? irt COVID-19, whose death was seen as acceptable + whose death was seen as worth preventing? was prioritizing a 'return to work ' an out-of-the-blue approach or a natural conclusion of a public health system structured around producing + maintaining a steady supply of labor? none of this is asserting that state public health intervention is inherently BAD, just that its core motivations are not altruistic but rather political (so it has no interest in expanding into a public health model where fitness to work/serve/birth is NOT seen as the marker of health).

a very cynical read of the opioid epidemic would be that the state is so heavily involved now because it is finally impacting individuals that they want to Make Live. harm reduction is reluctantly being adopted (thanks to the tireless work of incredible activists!) but only if it can fit into the framework of Making Them Live Until They Can Become Sober. sobriety is the unspoken end goal not because it reduces suffering but because it allows for workers. the truly liberatory logic of harm reduction, which focuses on autonomy + safety + reducing suffering, is antithetical to the motivations of a state which openly despises those who don't 'produce' proportionately to what they receive.

my interest is in reimagining medicine + the body + disability + suffering outside of this biopolitical framework by acknowledging that our very definitions of all of these things have been engraved in the public imagination with labor production in mind. i'm not interested in trying to create new state programs that are 'untouched' by biopolitics because that's impossible + i can still extract tangible benefits from it (for example, i got all my covid vaccines early + for free bcuz my labor was important enough for the state to invest in my life). the idea is to engage with these programs clear-eyed + willing to look at who we Make Live + who we Let Die. most importantly, we can find what lies outside it all + envision new ways of living

#anti psychiatry

[paperbackribs]

A Tarnished Copper Boy (13)

Previous | Next | Ao3 Last chapter, the boys wrestling on the couch had Eddie running, leaving Steve behind at the trailer for almost a week until he returned and culminating in a fight over Steve leaving the trailer for walks in the woods. Eddie chased Steve when he left the trailer and apologised for his behaviour.

Chapter 13: What I Am

After making amends in the woods of Forrest Hills, Eddie had expected life to return to normal, more or less. Yet with their reconciliation came a tentative sort of peace that felt like a unsteady bridge ready to fall beneath his feet.

Steve hadn’t said anything outright. He was outwardly cheery even, but Eddie keeps flashing back to Slippery Steve in the kitchen, eyes not quite meeting and avoiding being too physically close to Eddie.

Steve is on one of his walks when he brings it up with Wayne, the two of them savouring a brief warm break in the weather on the porch couch. Eddie scratching at a mosquito bite and Wayne enjoying his Winstons. Every now and then Wayne glances towards Catherine’s place, but she’s not home yet.

“Do you think Steve is being weird lately?” Eddie asks, staring at the border between the trailer park and the woods. The trees seem closed off and unwelcoming today, a forest guarding its wild creatures.

Wayne expels a swirl of smoke, leaning back to place his Zippo lighter on the side table with a clack. “You mean with his walks? It’s good for him. I told Steve to bring back some pine or oak, and I’ll teach him to carve figures out of the thicker branches.” It’s been a long time since Eddie has seen Wayne whittling; it warms his heart that his uncle is looking out for Steve in his own way.

“Thought he was agoraphobic for a while there,” Wayne continues, contemplating the cherry at the tip of his cigarette pensively.

Eddie eyes him sceptically, “Where’d you even learn that word?”

“I’m not an idiot, Eds,” Wayne responds mildly before the corner of his mouth ticks up. “And Catherine asked me about him, mentioned it as a possibility. She likes you two; doesn’t want Steve to suffer if he’s going through something.”

“She’s a good woman,” Eddie says, still stuck on those trees.

“That she is. And he’s been a bit quiet lately, but nothing I’m worried about. You two made up, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “And we did, we truly did, but I wonder if I broke something.”

“Just give him time, Eds. He’ll talk about it when he’s ready.” Wayne ashes the cigarette, “Did you apologise?”

“Yeah.” As well as to Wayne later, who hadn’t been impressed with Eddie’s disappearing act. Nor with roping Catherine in as his impromptu messenger either.

“Well, that’s a good start.”

Steve returns later as the shadows of night are starting to stretch its fingers, the moon hanging low and illuminated in the background of the open trailer door. The frame thuds behind him as he pulls off his burrowed trucker cap, usually kept low as he moves in the open space between the trailer and the shelter of the woods. Above the brown bill of his hat a wavy slice of brown and white is circled by in bacon we trust.

Spearing his fingers through his bronze locks, he smiles at Eddie on the floor behind the coffee table, “Hey, you practising?”

Eddie lies down the orange and suturing needle beside the scalpel and cotton thread he’s using in place of the more expensive and medically appropriate silk. He’d been surprised to learn that he couldn’t just dig into an orange and have at it to practise, as he’d originally planned.

Instead, Catherine had taught him to slice and dissect the outer peel from the meat of the fruit, as if peeling skin away from muscle. Steve had turned an interesting shade of green watching Catherine talk him through it. Whenever Eddie practises, Steve will only look once he starts stitching the peel together. Apparently, after having seen his own skin being dug into by a needle, watching an orange get stitches is just fine.

“Yeah, look at this — I’m getting better,” Eddie proudly holds up the fruit, displaying a row of stitches far neater than his first attempts a month ago. He’s never been one much for sewing, but his new prowess is giving him ideas on how he might tailor his denim vest. So far, he’d kept to band pins and badges with rude sayings scrawled across them, but he could sacrifice some of his more worn shirts or check out Hawkins Records to see if they have any patches.

Steve inspects the orange. “Good work,” he says admiringly. “I’m just going to grab a shower and then I’ll see you in bed?”

A yawn suddenly overtakes Eddie, he glances at his watch; intent on improving the uniformity of the length and space of his stitches, he hadn’t realised how late it’d gotten. Steve laughs, “Yeah, I’ll see you there.”

Eddie flips him off, even as he nods and starts wiping down and packing up his gear. The one thing that has stayed reassuringly the same is how they continue to join in bed. Most nights end with Eddie facing the window and Steve curled behind him, a solid warmth giving and receiving comfort. With how unsettled Eddie has felt lately though, it’s a bittersweet sort of reassurance. Enough to cancel any morning wood he has; it’s just too sad and pathetic to jerk off while feeling despondent over an uneasiness that he can’t even confirm is real.

He can only be grateful for his lack of indecent desire when both he and Steve sleep in one morning only for Wayne to swing the bedroom door open with a bang. More sensitive to sound and movement, Steve had jolted upright from where he had been wrapped around Eddie’s back, blankets puddled around their feet from having kicked them off in the warm night. The swift retraction of Steve’s arm caused Eddie to awkwardly roll onto his face, squashing his nose and prompting him to somewhat stir.

“Eddie,” Wayne had barked, “Get a move on.”

However, despite its sudden betrayal the pillow was soft and welcoming under him and Eddie decided to play possum. He’s pretty sure he heard Steve tell Wayne he’d get him up and, later, Eddie was just grateful he hadn’t flashed Steve and Wayne more than his boxer-clad ass.

The feeling infects him though, a rising sense that he’s the source of Steve’s discomfort. Eddie doesn’t disappear again, like he promised, but he does spend a little extra time with the guys. Noodling around on their guitars for a couple of hours in Jeff’s basement or study sessions with Randy who’s also doing senior year pre-calc.

The latter pays off too and he dances through the trailer door one afternoon. Spotting Steve walking out of the bedroom, he Cha-Cha Slides towards him. Without hesitation, Steve stops and reels him in with an invisible fishing rod. Eddie cackles, brandishing his maths test. “Guess who got a B minus, baby!”

Steve’s smile is broad as he takes the sheet of paper from him, on it his grade is big and fat and circled in red. But Eddie is going to ignore the usual implication of that colour on his grade because he got a goddamn B.

“Eddie, great! You got the function and graph questions right,” he notes proudly, already moving to pin it beneath a magnet on the fridge.

“Mm, hmm,” Eddie leans over to take an apple from the fruit bowl, biting into it with relish. “Thank God for Randy,” he confesses, “The domains had me on the ropes.”

Steve stays facing the big appliance, fiddling with the paper to make it square against the surface. “Oh yeah, he was a big help then?” He asks soft-spoken.

Eddie gazes lovingly at the red circle, he had worked hard to get that B — it’s satisfying to see the results. He responds absently while considering whether he needs to concentrate more on functions next time, “Yeah, he says that he hates maths, but he’s really good at it. I tell him that it extends to his rolls too, like the guy has pulled a nat twenty more times than I like to think of. But he doesn’t believe me, says something about probabilities.”

Steve hums neutrally and leaves to get the clothes out of the dryer. The cloying humidity has rolled back through Hawkins and Steve refuses to even consider air drying, has become oddly stubborn about it like his reputation as a housekeeping god is on the line at the first hint of musty towel.

It’s not always just hanging out with one of the guys or another, sometimes they all come together even though Randy is more into weed and D&D and Gareth and Jeff are into music and D&D. One Wednesday night the three of them shoot the shit, Randy pulling out a joint that Jeff partakes in and Eddie declines, saying he needs to drive home.

The night rolls on later than Eddie realises, a debate unfolding amongst them as to whether level limits for classes other than humans are playing racism out in story form. Followed by a convoluted collaboration on juggling game balance against overpowered elves and dwarves. It staggers to a close however when Jeff thinks he hears his parents coming and paranoidly skunks out the basement in the cheap musk of his spray deodorant.

Eddie feels a twinge of guilt when he comes home to the dark trailer, he had promised to call when he’d be late, so he owes Steve an apology. Tip-toeing past the steady drone from Wayne, he creeps quietly into the bedroom. He can only see a sliver of the bed and floor from the slash of moonlight through their window.

“Steve?” He softly calls but there’s no answer from the lump in the bed. As he slips under the cover, Eddie can see that Steve is turned away onto his right side. He silently sighs, wishing that he’d realised the time so he could make it back for cuddles. When he wakes in the morning, Steve is already out of bed; his side of the mattress is cold to Eddie’s touch and, as he leaves the room, Wayne informs him that Steve has left for an early walk.

Eddie tells himself that he’ll apologise later, but in the excitement of Hellfire that night he momentarily forgets it as he sweeps into the trailer. The thrill of the game is still coursing through him, which is only electrified higher when he spots Steve at the kitchen sink washing dishes.

“Oh my God in Christ — Steve! Let me tell you about the campaign tonight, the tears, the jeers, the almighty conquerors.” Steve turns off the faucet, a tight smile on his face as Eddie pretends to wipe a tear from the corner of his eyes. “I’ve never been so proud of my sheepies.”

Steve turns and picks up the dishrag, applying himself to his task while Eddie regales him with the sheer audacity of those boys. The bravery and the teamwork – oh, the fucking group coming together had been magnificent.

“And then fucking Randy,” Eddie says breathlessly, nearly knocking over the fruit bowl as he broadly gestures with both arms. “Pulls out his carpet of flying and uses it to sneak behind the motherfucker! His mage is going to look so badass covered in a wyvern skin cloak, especially as it ripples behind him on his magic carpet ride.” He sings the last words joyfully; he’s so glad that he took on Randy’s suggestion and set them up to find it in last week’s loot.

Steve smacks the wet plate into the drying rack with a sharp clack. “Of course,” he mutters under his breath. At the sharp tone, Eddie falters, realising that he’s read the room all wrong. Looking at Steve’s clenched jaw and the tight set to his shoulders, it’s suddenly obvious that Steve’s not indulging Eddie as usual by allowing him to share the excitement of his day. Rather, Steve radiates an icy anger.

“Is something wrong?” Eddie tentatively asks.

Frost dripping from every word, Steve scoffs as he leans a hip against the counter, arms crossing over his chest, “Why would you think that?”

“You seem angry,” Eddie says cautiously into the brittle atmosphere. “Is this about last night? Because you’re right, I should have called.”

Steve narrows his eyes. “No, not at all. But maybe you can coordinate with your uncle so I’m not the middleman for your sexcapades.”

“What? Who?” Eddie asks, bewildered. “What?” He repeats, his mind-melting out of his ears at hearing the bizarre use of sexcapades coming out of Steve’s mouth.

Steve’s breath whistles through his teeth and he abruptly bends over, swinging the cupboard door open and shut again to slam a box of condoms on the counter between him and Eddie. A neon green silhouette of a Roman soldier is painted under the bold text type of extended pleasure. Eddie blushes, his cheeks radiating so hot that he’s sure his face is bathed in a cherry-red glow.

Steve’s lips pinch in displeasure as he watches Eddie, “Wayne included this in the grocery shopping today. Made sure I knew that it was for you. You know,” he continues sarcastically, “Maybe we can organise my walks for nighttime and you can finally bring Randy around. Clearly, I’m getting in the way of something if even Wayne knows about it.”

Eddie’s mouth drops before he screeches, “What? No, I’m not doing anything that needs condoms with Randy. Where’d you even get that idea.”

Steve unclenches his teeth, brow furrowing further as he squints at Eddie in accusation. “Oh, I don’t know,” he says scathingly, “Maybe because I came back in March and you’re giggling in his lap. Perhaps because you’ve up and disappeared lately while also coming home reeking of another guy’s cologne. In the meantime, your uncle is in the background practically holding up a placard while he chants no glove no love.” Steve lists these items like it’s a shopping list he’s prepared: familiar, obvious, and oft-repeated.

Eddie blinks at the sheer wrongness of Steve’s words. “No! Steve, no.” He stands up to grab the box and throws it out of sight into a kitchen drawer. “I’m not doing anything with Randy.” Under his breath, Eddie mutters of all people. Louder he says, “I wouldn’t want to do anything with someone like Randy.”

His standards may be high these days since it pretty much equals Steve Harrington, but pale blonde boys soaked in weed and a repressed love for mathematics are hardly his type.

Steve draws in a shocked breath, eyes widening. “Oh shit, I misread this, didn’t I?”

“Uh, yeah. Completely.” Eddie exhales a relieved breath. He doesn’t know what Wayne was thinking but whatever it was he’s out of his mind. Eddie will pin him down later once this misunderstanding with Steve is resolved.

Yet Steve obviously feels differently because he paces out of the kitchen, running his hands through his hair and mumbling something that Eddie can’t hear. Finally, he flips upright to look at Eddie, a torn expression on his face. “You’re not gay, are you.”

“Say what?” Eddie exclaims, brain screeching to a halt like the abrupt silence after a sudden, unexpected scream.

Steve backs away, almost smacking against the wall. He shakes his head, frazzled in a way that Eddie has never seen on Steve before. “Christ. I just. I figured with the handkerchief and you’re always looking when I… I thought you at least…” Steve closes his eyes as if plagued by a sudden memory. “I’m so sorry, man. No wonder you freaked out when I was all up in your shit.”

Eddie’s mouth hangs open in astonishment; he is lost for words. Flabbergasted. Baffled. In a state of dumbstruck shock. He is in a small dingy in the middle of the ocean with no oar and no guiding light, rapidly approaching a rocky shore. Eddie has been called all sorts of nasty things over the years, but no one has ever accused him of being straight.

He’s certainly never been in a situation where he’s had to defend his queerness when it is usually assumed. Never been given the option to claim the words for himself. But this is his chance, he realises. Say it, his brain yells. Eddie can finally take charge of the narrative and be in control of his own story. Say it, it continues to scream like a blaring klaxon.

Instead, the words stick in his throat like a chicken bone, sharp edges wedged diagonally and cutting off his airway. He is twelve years old staring up at a towering man who refuses to touch him anymore because he’s a dirty queer. Pack your shit, you don’t have a home here any longer.

Steve’s eyes flicker over Eddie’s sallow complexion and the cold sweat gathering at his brow, his face falling further. “Shit. I’m going to go for a walk, you… you deserve your own space.” Eddie watches numbly as Steve pulls on his boots. He doesn’t bother to lace them, only looking at Eddie mournfully, eyes distraught. “I’m so sorry, Eddie. I’ll see you later.”

Steve turns, practically running out of the trailer along with any chance of Eddie saying Yes. Yes, I am gay. He doesn’t return until the morning, avoiding Eddie’s gaze as he moves towards the bathroom.

After that night the distance between Steve and him widens; what was an uncertain pothole becomes a gaping chasm. Steve takes more walks, spends more time at them too. Often leaving after he’s cleaned the dinner dishes and not returning until Eddie is ostensibly asleep in bed.

But he’s always awake.

Unable to sleep until he hears the creak of Steve slipping into their room. Careful to not disturb Eddie as he slides into bed, turning on his side to face the wall.

I am gay becomes a chant in Eddie’s head.

It eats away at him in class, staring blankly down at his notes.

It boils in his gut during gym, looking away from a younger version of the man perplexing him at home.

It unfailingly sticks in his throat every time he walks through the trailer door.

He’s just never had to say it, is the thing. Wayne knew from the beginning; the hateful words Pop had left him with, as he’d abandoned Eddie on his doorstep, making it clear what he’d found under Eddie’s mattress. Jeff knows, but it wasn’t from conversation. Other people have known if he’s to take the sneering insults thrown at him to heart and, one memorable autumn, when someone had scrawled it in bold black marker on his locker. Even Steve had known, not that he had fully explained how he’d come to that conclusion. But he did.

Eddie keeps imagining himself saying the words. Bewitched plays in the background at night and Eddie imagines turning and saying it in between Endora waving her hand and Darren falling to the floor. He takes Wayne’s plate from Steve’s hand and imagines telling him as their fingers graze, Steve’s flinch so small Eddie’s not sure if he imagined that too. He lies in bed, stuck in the distance Steve had once closed and now has put back in place, and imagines whispering his not-so-secret to him.

It's one of those nights and the words are boiling, practically scolding to the top of his throat. Ready to pour out like magma. They lay separately abed in the dark room; the wind outside has picked up and Eddie can hear the Anderson’s weathervane smacking in the approaching storm. It’s a rhythmic sound that would usually drive him nuts, but tonight it becomes the metronome to the increasing pressure of Say it. Say it. Say it.

Steve shifts slightly on his side, moving his right arm to cradle under his head. Eddie remembers cradling Steve’s face, offering him solace, silently promising to be his soft place to land. Even though he hadn’t heard a responding answer at the time, he knows that Steve would extend the same protection to him in a heartbeat. The man who puts his body between children and dangerous monsters would spring forward to take any hit aimed at Eddie’s way.

It’s not only who he is, at the core of what makes Steve Steve, but it’s there in every careful gesture he now makes around Eddie, trying to show him respect and give him space even though he’s misread the situation. It’s there as he tells Eddie that he may not have seen that far into the future, but he knows that Eddie’s will be bright because he believes that deeply in the goodness of him, in his desire and potential to save the world one scrape at a time.

“Steve,” he whispers, his pulse beating wildly in his neck.

“Mmm?” Steve responds, not sounding sleepy at all. As if had been lying there thinking too.

Eddie takes his God-given ability to run and for once uses it to jump headfirst towards the right direction, “I think I should tell you that I am gay.”

The air is pregnant with what Eddie can only imagine is confusion on Steve’s part. He rolls over onto his opposite side, facing Eddie who is curled up too. Face-to-face, Eddie can see the careful glint in Steve’s eyes and the serious set to his mouth. “You’re gay,” Steve clarifies.

Eddie takes a deep breath, licking his lips. He did it once, he can do it again. “Yes,” he swallows and says it like he means it, “I’m gay.” The pressure of Steve’s silence builds in his chest, rising like popping candy until released in a breathless giggle. Steve’s face immediately has a wary cast to it like he thinks that Eddie is messing with him.

“No, no, wait,” Eddie says around another giggle. He presses his hot face into the pillow before emerging, trying to straighten his expression. “I meant it, sorry. I just got nervous and sometimes I giggle when I’m nervous.”

“I know,” Steve says quietly. “It’s okay.”

“Okay?” Eddie swallows. “Like okay that I’m giggling or okay that I’m… gay.” There he goes, three times in a row. He thinks it’s getting easier; what had been a dry, rough brick is being smoothed away into a skipping stone. White and precious, made for tender touches and youthful love.

Steve reaches out slowly and gently places his hand over Eddie’s, which had rested on the mattress between him. The touch warm and reassuring as he tenderly squeezes his fingers. “Both.”

Eddie feels a stinging pinch between his nose and he swallows so hard that the sound is audible in the dark room. Steve’s face, full of compassion, starts to swim as tears fill Eddie’s eyes. “Okay,” he rasps. “That’s good. Would suck if it wasn’t.”

Steve watches him, a gentle empathy crossing his expression. “Eddie, can I hug you?”

Eddie nods jerkily, “That sounds really nice right now.”

Shifting quietly, Steve pulls Eddie’s now blubbering face into his chest and wraps his arms around him securely, rocking him from side to side. The strength of Steve’s embrace makes him feel safe like he’s protecting him from the nasty words of his classmates, like a bulwark against the disgust on his father’s face. Eddie allows himself to cry in the refuge of Steve’s arms as he mourns a boy who was never given the option to safely say this is me without it leading to pain.

He cries until the tears run dry and snot is thick in his nose, but his head is clear for what feels like a long time. A part of Eddie has slotted into place with his confession. Grabbing onto his courage and declaring himself has opened up a space inside, a place usually cramped and ugly, filled with a slumbering beast fuelled by envy and injustice. The creature is still there, but it has room to simply exist now, rather than being squeezed and agitated by despair and doubt.

Steve presses a hard kiss to the top of his head; his hand has kept a rhythmic caress against Eddie’s back since he first pulled him into his embrace. “It’s okay, you did good. You did so good.” The words fill him with a brightness that Eddie basks in, sure that it makes the tarnished copper turn golden for a brief, shining moment.

Eddie draws back, wiping his eyes before resting his chin on the hands he’s folded on Steve’s chest, “Thank you. You’re the first person I ever said that to.”

“Ah,” Steve’s face is soft and understanding. “You were really brave, I’m proud of you.”

Eddie looks shyly down, scratching at the demon printed on Steve’s Dio shirt, its crimson arms spread to show wrists broken free from silver manacles. “I would make a joke right now, but it was. Hard, that is. I don’t know why, it’s not like I thought you were going to recoil in disgust or call me names. I knew you’d have my back.”

“Yeah?” Steve asks, a pleased tug at his lips. “Glad I could meet the bare minimum then.”

Eddie snorts, the sound unattractive with the amount of mucus still clogging his sinuses. Steve snickers in response and Eddie lightly slaps him in return. “No, it was important to me and you treated it with respect; that means a lot.”

A contemplative expression settles across Steve’s face, his eyes serious as he lightly rolls his lips and looks back at Eddie. Eddie sees in his eyes the exact moment that he makes his decision. “It would be hypocritical of me if I hadn’t,” Steve says slowly, with significance.

Eddie frowns, not understanding how Steve could be a hypocrite about Eddie’s confession.

“I am too,” Steve clarifies, his arms tighten around him but he thinks it was involuntary by the distracted look on his face.

Eddie blinks, flashing back to Steve scooping Nancy up in his arms from behind, the love and playfulness shining through so brightly that even Eddie could feel it from across the hallway. “No, you’re not,” he rebuts around clumsy lips, “You date girls.”

“First off,” Steve says mildly with a hint of reproach. “Just because you’ve only seen me with girls doesn’t mean you get to dictate my sexuality.”

“God, I sound like Robin,” he mutters under his breath.

More loudly he continues, “And no, I’m not one way in particular, I just like who I like. Yeah, it’s always been easier with girls.” Steve’s face twists like he’s bitten into a lemon, “Easier to meet expectations, easier to bring them home; but I think it was somewhere between wanting to hold hands with Thomas D. on the playground and the third time Tommy and I made out drunk just for ‘laughs’ that I figured out it wasn’t just. You know, girls.”

“So you’re gay,” Eddie needs to clarify this, needs to make sure there is no room for misunderstandings.

Steve hums, wiggling his head a little as he considers it. “I like the term queer, personally. It gives me a nice umbrella to play under rather than labelling me one thing or another. But yeah, I’m not strictly straight.”

Eddie snorts, the inelegant sound ripped through him at one thought.

Steve eyes him doubtfully and Eddie laughs, shaking his head. “No, it’s not at you. It’s just — poor Tommy. You know he likes you, right? I mean obviously you do if you’ve made out with him.”

His mouth dropping open, Steve trips over his words. “No. No, he doesn’t. He just wanted to practise, and I liked it so…” Steve stops, eyes blanking as he obviously replays years’ worth of less-than-heterosexual interactions.

Eddie tuts playfully, “You shouldn’t assume someone’s sexuality, Stevie.”

Steve’s eyes narrow and he glares down at Eddie, still propped on his chest with a clear smile. “At least I didn’t do it when someone’s coming out to me.” Eddie winces, “Sorry, that wasn’t cool of me. Especially after you were so chill at my reveal.”

Steve sighs, running a hand over Eddie’s hair; he wants to nuzzle into it like a pet. “If it helps, I talked a lot of this out with Robin a while back. I didn’t have the words for it then either, and I was probably a lot less chill than you. But the more I talked the more I understood myself.”

He nods, that makes sense. Even in the small slice he’s taken tonight, Eddie’s begun to feel steadier about this part of himself. Steve smiles at him in understanding, “You don’t have to get it right every time, Eddie. You just have to try, that’s all.”

Eddie’s throat thickens and his nod is a little jerky, eyes once more becoming watery, but Steve doesn’t say anything. He only slides a comforting hand down Eddie’s hair again; Eddie takes the chance this time to nuzzle into his palm. Enjoying the warmth and care in his touch.

Steve chuckles, “You’re like a cat.”

“Meow,” Eddie drawls dryly even as he pushes his head demandingly into Steve’s palm.

Steve’s smile sobers slightly. “And the thing about Randy: I’m sorry. It’s none of my business who you decide to be with.” A flash of something dark and strained passes through his eyes, “And even though I said it really terribly, I did mean it in the end. You deserve to be able to just hang out with your boyfriend or bring him around to Wayne. Now that I’m spending more time out of the house, we could organise something.” He grimaces, “But, uh, maybe not in the bed we share. I know it’s an all-around weird situation, but just not that.”

Eddie squeezes his eyes tight, burying his face in Steve’s chest. This again.

“Steve,” he groans. “Steve-o. Sugar. Babycakes. I don’t have a boyfriend.” He can almost hear Steve’s mouth open. “Nor,” he quickly adds before the idiot can stick his foot further in it, “Do I want to go out with Randy Mullins. He is not who I like.”

Under him, Steve’s chest expands and retracts in a quick, faltering breath. “Who do you like, then?”

Eddie sighs tiredly, between working up the bravery to come out and spending a good portion of the past half hour crying in Steve’s arms, he’s exhausted. He’s not sure he has the emotional bandwidth to discuss his desire for the man whose arms remain wrapped around him.

Still, taking his courage in hand and running towards something had felt pretty damn liberating. He can do one more small thing, Eddie decides. One skip of that smooth, white stone that he has honed and crafted tonight. Eddie looks up, meeting Steve’s eyes head-on and trying to reach through to him, “Not Randy Mullins.”

Steve’s eyes flicker and he swallows. His mouth opens and shuts for a moment before he nods, a stuttered thing. “Okay,” he says shakily.

“Okay?” Eddie asks, praying that this is one thing that won’t be misunderstood.

“Okay,” Steve smiles, eyes crinkling.

A yawn overtakes Eddie. He tries to press it into Steve’s chest but he’s pretty sure that he just made the least attractive face to the boy he sort of confessed to just now. Steve’s smile deepens and he gently extracts Eddie, turning him to face the window and scooting behind him. Curled around like lovers, though still a respectful distance between them.

“This okay?” Steve breathes into his neck.

The lids of his eyes closing heavily, Eddie hears the breaking rain patter softly against the trailer walls. “Perfect,” he murmurs before falling heavily into a welcoming darkness.

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