#AND I'M KINDA TERRIFIED OF LOOSING PEOPLE OVER THIS LMAO

[rebelyelll]

Chapter 3 Author's Notes

Wow. Just...wow. This chapter kicked my ass. Hard. LOL.

I had so much fun writing the interactions between Léon and Gamma Ray. The funky brain's dialogue just sort of...happened...on the page, and I ran with it. It's not as great as it could be, but I'm pleased with it enough.

Gamma Ray's Conception

Originally, I didn't have a set design for what this stand should look like, so I kinda winged it while writing the chapter. My outlines are very loose, and are mostly just small notes I take here and there for memory. Gamma Ray went against the grain for what I'd planned for him before this chapter had been written.

In my outline, Gamma Ray's name was originally going to be Dragula and he was going to have the ability of interference (very raw idea that developed as I wrote the story.) I did like the name for the stand, but when it came to the ability, something just felt off. Its ability felt really dumb to me. Like, really dumb. So I thought about it a little bit more. What exactly is the interference? And why is it affecting the traffic ligts in that way? How can I make this ability intimidating and terrifying for the protagonist?

And to my surprise, as I kept writing, the story was giving me hints. Electromagnetic interference is a thing. So I did some (extensive) research. Probably more research than I'd have liked to be honest, lmao. BUT I'm not complaining! It helped out so much. I was learning something all while creating a believable (I think it is anyway) fight scene. Win-win, huh? So from that point on, Gamma Ray's ability was fleshed out and it was officially a stand that altered photon energy. Hence the name change from Dragula to Gamma Ray. I feel like they're a band that doesn't get much recognition, plus it fit the stand very well.

Structuring the Fight Scene

Oh, man this was a bitch. Making Léon go from one location to the next with obstacles and minor bumps along the way, oof. Making it flow properly was such a challenge, but I will say I am happy with what I have. We also meet two new characters that will make future appearances as the story progresses. Tiny Dancer and Husselhoff. I didn't have an outline for them. They just...showed up, and now they're here to stay, so...funny how that happens lmao.

Oh, fun fact! I named the intersection Malfunction Junction after an intersection in my hometown. Still to this day I have no idea why it is called that, but when people tell me that's where they are, I know exactly what they're referring to.

I admit I am so proud of myself for making Léon use his own body as a means to block light from getting through the windows so he could gain the advantage over Gamma Ray. It just felt so good to lead up to that moment only to have that lightbulb blink over my head like: "Ohhh! That's how it's gonna go down! Hell yeah!"

Léon saying he's going to get a drink will play up in a later chapter. Don't worry! He isn't going to be drunk or anything. Just drinking a little bit. This has been a PSA. Lol.

Chapter 3 References

Tiny Dancer Namesake: song of the same name by Elton John

Husselhoff Namesake: David Hasselhoff, the actor

Gamma Ray Namesake: power metal band by the same name

That's really all the references I had in this chapter.

#author's notes #whiplash riot #léon polnareff

[obeymehasinfluncedmythoughts]

Single Parent Bros Pt. 1

Kinda wanted some angst. MC has passed, but left behind their child. This is poly but idk if it's still titled single parent? I'm confused. That's fairly apparent in 4verything I write tho. Everyone refers to the kid as theirs BTW

Sorry for killing u again. Idk if I should continue this because I'm not happy with this. It's kinda just word vomit lmao

Lucifer

Raising a child was always going to be a challenge, but he never thought he'd have to face it alone.

It's naive of him, and definitely out of character to be so reckless.

Things were just going so well though.

You'd started an amazing life together, surrounded by family and with a child who took after you in all the best ways. Well, besides the little horns and nubby wings of course.

^That's really the only thing the little tyke got from his father, whichever one it may be, and Lucifer can't say he was upset. Watching your spitting image grow and develop alongside your guiding form brought a sense of peace to his old heart.

Then it was just gone.

You were gone.

It felt like it happened too fast. Like he didn't even get a moment to process everything. You just died, you were buried, and your soul was sorted outside of his reach.

And then he was left with your only living remains, surrounded by six other demons who were looking to him for guidance.

He doesn't know how to answer them, but for your child, he knows he must.

Mammon

Loosing you definitely impacts Mammon's parenting skills.

He goes from being one of the more fun dads of the bunch, to being absolutely over protective.

Mammon is terrified of loosing what he believes to be the last part of you.

This leads to him holding onto your child like his last remaining hope, effectively smothering them in his worries and fears.

Mammon doesn't do a good job at hiding his emotions, especially in front of the mini you running around.

He tries not to talk about you for this reason. Mostly because he doesn't want your child to associate your memory with only tears on Mammon's behalf, but also he acknowledges there's a bit of selfishness in this action.

Mammon just doesn't want to hurt everytime he thinks about you, and that's impossible with your genetic copy infront of him, so he tries to push past the memories of then and focus on the now, even if that means never explaining who you were to him.

Leviathan

Levi very easily becomes emotionally neglectful, so it's a good thing that his siblings are there as well.

Your child might not even see him very much for a few months after your passing simply due to his coping methods.

Eventually he does get himself back together, though much more tattered then before.

This makes it hard to build a relationship with his child.

He does try though.

It's just hard. Connecting with other people has never really been Leviathan's thing. Children are included in that list.

He thought it would have been easier with his child. You'd given him the confidence to think that way.

Afterall, he could always introduce them to all his interests, and they also would be like you too! That's an amazing combination.

It's also the same combination that probably puts a rift between him and your child forever.

[fandomfluffandfuck]

hi!!! just wondering what your thoughts are on the first time beefy buck experiences sub drop with steve? like how would that go about in your head?

love love love your writing btw! absolutely look forward to every ask your answer 🥺💙

(Once more I am so so so so sorry I'm late to answering this but I wanted to be in the correct headspace for this. And TMI but what the hell have you been on my blog before? I've been too horny to be answering this soft question lmao)

Mmm, yeah, sub drop is rough. Poor Buck.

(Disclaimer for the general masses: if you are getting into BDSM or dom/sub relationships in any regard, just like you would do with any other part of the dynamics and fun things you can do, LOOK INTO SUB DROP! LOOK INTO TOP DROP! They're no joke and not learning about them isn't how to prevent them!)

I think as prepared as Steve and Bucky both might think they are for something like this to happen - Steve has dommed before and had people go into drop around him while Bucky has done his research as per Steve's request - they're not. Bucky knows what sub drop is... he just doesn't recognize it in himself right away y’know? He's kinda busy with other things in the moment.

And Steve kinda forgets that it's a hell of a lot harder to help a sub through a drop when you can't manipulate them- as in, he physically cannot pick Bucky up. Plus he even has a hard time moving him from laying down to sitting up or from laying on his back to his side, not just not being able to carry him. He's a big guy. And while normally Bucky follows orders just fine, in subspace or not, a drop is entirely different.

But it's also different because Steve loves Bucky and is absolutely terrified to loose him. It makes it a hell of a lot more nerve wracking than seeing a fuck-buddie go into drop, y’know?

But, yes, Bucky's first sub drop:

The first time it happens its because they come across Bucky's first safeword usage and possibly his first hard limit.

Blindfolded. Tied up. Overwhelmed but also understimulated. Bucky is in the middle of their living room because Steve figured itd be nice to have some room to work. It begun with Steve tying Bucky up: hands to elbows behind his back, legs bent with his calves to thighs. Then he blindfolded him. Then Steve went about his "normal" lazy afternoon work routine, puttering around the apartment, leaving Bucky in the center of the room like a living sculpture.

That part was fun.

Bucky is cuddly and a HUGE fan of physical touch, yes, but something about helplessly being in the center of it all and not being touched is also nice.

But what starts the downward slide is when Steve begins brushing past him as he goes about his own routine, his role in this scene. He walks past, sits down with him for a minute to pet his hair, check the ropes, pinch his nipples, tug at his cock, tap his exposed, vulnerable balls with his foot only to keep walking. And for the first few times, maybe thirty minutes to an hour, that's good too. But... as it stretches out Bucky becomes more acutely aware that he doesn't know where Steve is and he can't predict it because there's such long breaks between him touching him with toys or with his hands. He's too light to make the floorboards creak too. It's less exciting and more frightening.

It reminds him of when his mind woke up before his body. It's like being trapped in his head, thinking he was or is paralyzed.

It would be fine, he thinks, if Steve touched him more or went back to not touching him at all. The in-between is strange.

All he can whimper out though, isn't an explanation but, "r-red." Squirming against the bonds to feel more of something, something consistent like their pressure over his skin.

He needs more sensation but also less.

He doesn't know what he wants.

Steve asks him something... his voice trying to get to him is what makes him realize his ears are ringing. So he doesn't know what he said or asked. So he just fumbles over the word, "blindf-ffold" thinking it'll be better just to see him. Besides the ropes are still helping him.

Steve removes the blindfold. He asks if he's okay or something close to it, Bucky hears more of it now that he can watch his lips move. Bucky nods.

Okay. Better.

Leaning down to kiss him, Steve asks if he's okay to sit tight for a minute. He nods again.

Sitting tight apparently means watching the smaller man put everything away though. All the things he had apparently laid out while Bucky couldn't see. Among the implements are several that Bucky knows Steve was so excited to use. So excited to get to use on him...

The sight is sobering. He wanted to use those. He could use those... he could. If he could straighten his upper lip.

Suddenly the brunette gets more upset, emotion bursting through to fill his chest. Repeating the same thoughts: he knows how much Steve wanted to use those things on him. He knows! Now he won't get to.

But he stays quiet thinking that maybe he can seem calm enough that he'll actually calm down. He wants to be good for Steve. To let him use those things: that plug with a bunch of different settings (including a "thrusting" function), the vampire gloves (recently gifted to him by another kinkster), the flavored chapstick (to give him another sensory input as they kiss)...

All of it gets stashed away. Collected in Steve's lean arms and hauled back to the chest in the bedroom, sitting at the end of the bed. Full of toys. Of fun things.

This isn't fun... he keeps the thought to himself, stuck in his own head.

So much so that he misses when Steve came back, done with putting away toys and now looming over him, asking if he's thirsty. Bucky startles, making an involuntary sound. He tries to hide it with an emphasized, "mmm-hmm!"

Steve pets his hair reverently for a moment, smiling down at him and checking in again if he wants outta the ropes. Bucky shakes his head even though- does he? Should he want out? Can, can he even tell himself? The ropes comfy... right? His skin- its not pinching his skin, not that he can tell... right?

Steve says he'll be right back. He nods, barely processing it.

Steve comes back with water and holds it up to give him a couple sips from his own hands. Then he unties his arms anyway, saying that it's probably time to come out of the bonds anyway. Bucky, still feeling too needy from using the safeword, fishes the bottle of water from his hands.

Bucky is shaking as he holds it, he doesn't know why.

Probably just a side effect of not using my arms for an hour or so, right?

He ignores it until he ends up spilling water down his chest.

His bare chest.

The water bottle had been waiting in the fridge.

It's cold water. On his bare chest.

It's cold water. On the floor.

The cold wetness, the mess, and just the whole fucking thing makes him start crying. Tears bubbling over and spilling down his cheeks, hot and wet, contrasting too much to the rest of his body. The warmth isn't good then either. A sob leaves him but he can barely hear it as his ears begin ringing once more.

All he can process is that he's wet and so cold- so cold all of the sudden.

Wet and cold.

It's all he can think about.

Steve coos something, the sound running over his like even more water, not sticking. His non-shaking hands take the water from him. He kisses his forehead and runs.

Getting a towel! His panicked voice is loud enough to breach his atmosphere.

By the time he comes back Bucky is lonely, which is stupid. Except. He's not thinking about that. He's not thinking anything. He's... hes numb.

Chilled to the bone.

He feels locked in... like... like he's still floating but rather than floating, lighter than air, he's floating in water. Underwater. Like water is supporting his weight but also pressing down on him.

He can't talk. He looks up at Steve through the water supporting and pressing down on him, mute.

Steve realizes that something is wrong right away. Padding back into the main room, hurried already, becomes an all out race as he sees Bucky's pretty eyes. No longer hazy and calm, floating and beautiful but, well, he's still beautiful but overcast now. Haunted.

His hands are curled over his own arms in a protective self hug. Steve tries to hand him the towel to get him to move them, open himself up again. Bucky doesn't reach for it. He looks on. Steve calls his name, nothing. He tries to get him to stand, asking and tapping his shoulder as they would during a normal part of a scene. Automatically the brunette attempts to stand, Steve can see the jump of muscle in those powerful thighs.

However. His legs are too weak to stand. The smallest, highest whimper he's ever heard emerges from his lips. Breaking Steve's heart.

Shattered heart racing, Steve makes do, knowing he won't be able to move him and lunges - one hand still on his shoulder - to grab all the blankets and pillows he can from their couch. Tearing them off and making a nest around his submissive. Wrapping him up in blankets and his own arms. He may not physically be bigger but he still holds him. Rocking him. Talking to him. Cuddling him close.

At some point, icy numbness turns to tears for Bucky. And tears seem to make Steve less terrified. It has Bucky, still locked in, crying for longer. He doesn't want him to be scared. So he cries.

He cries until his throat is sore and he's just heaving dryly. Muscles unsure of how to respond shake unsteadily. Jitters of feelings and sensation wrack his frame, too hot, too cold, anxiety, disappointment, too loud, too quiet, frustration, acceptance...

Steve holds him like he's the only thing that can hold him together. It's true.

Bucky once more feels Steve trying to get him to standing. Wanting to move so they're not on hardwood floors in a heap.

Bucky tries and fails to get up. A hollow sob cuts out of him. Steve hushes him, settling him back down against the floor and against his thin chest. He's warm. Happily he stays, deflating.

They continue to cuddle there, on the floor, anyway, sprawled over each other. Steve starts singing, just because.

Bucky falls asleep.

And when he wakes up, neck and back stiff because they still are on the floor, Steve is still right there also. Still singing. Albeit his voice more scratchy now than it was before.

"S'evve?" Bucky's mouth is dry, tongue too heavy.

"Buck, hey," his voice is hushed, a little rough from his singing but perfect. He's still there. "'Course I'm still here," Steve whispers, drawing his hair away from his face with careful fingers.

Bucky hears himself make a noise. He didn't realize he had been talking out loud.

"Think you can get up? I'll help, I promise."

They get him onto the couch. Situated under blankets and with just the right amount of pillows propping him up.

Steve sits on his knees next to the couch for a while, staring at him. About 40 times he asks if he's sure he'll be okay if he gets up and gets some things for him. Bucky says yes 40 times.

When he does get to getting up, Steve sings so Bucky can hear him as he dashes around the apartment. Gathering things from his mental check list.

Fuzzy pj's for keeping him warm, more blankets also for keeping him warm, wet wipes to clean him up a little, a hair tie to get his hair outta his face, another water bottle, and some hard candy. The candy should be actual food but when the blonde asks if Bucky's hungry and he truthfully tells him he is but he still feels unsteady, tummy turning some still... well, that puts real good out of the question for right then. He doesn't want to make him feel worse by having him eat and then vomit.

Armed with all that and himself, more than ready to cuddle for the rest of time, Steve returns to his submissive’s side.

#asks #xqilahx #my writing #bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #sub drop #aftercare #safeword #dom/sub