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leiawritesstories · 1 year

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How Unfortunate

yes i planned it during thanksgiving. yes it is now february. whoops. anyway, here it is!! based off this anon request

@golden-kingdom hopefully this makes up for frederick's little rampage ;)

Word count: 2.1k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of cheating, Chaol, light angst (😈)

Enjoy!

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Rowan Whitethorn lounged in the hazy, low-lit bar, nursing a bourbon in his lonely seat at the end of the polished wooden bartop. Over at the register, the effusive blonde tending the bar barked out a laugh at something a patron had quipped, his million-dollar grin flashing in the muted lighting. Ah, Fenrys. That boyo had a way with making the money flow smoother than the drinks he poured, he did.

As if summoned by Rowan’s musings, Fen sidled down to where his friend slouched, dark eyes inquisitive. “Alright there, Whitethorn?”

“Fine.” The single syllable came out a touch more dismissive than he’d intended.

Fen, though, knew him too well. “Not that I want to push you or anything,” he began, his glance darting leftwards, “but there’s a woman a few booths down who’s been sitting there alone for a good hour, give or take.”

Rowan just shrugged. “So?”

“So,” Fen beamed, swiping Rowan’s glass, “you’re gonna go over there like the gentleman I know you are, you’re gonna greet her and ask if she wants some company, and then you’re gonna buy her a drink, because whatever pin-headed prick that stood her up like that deserves to stumble in here an hour and a half late to find that stunning woman enjoying your company.”

“Godsdammit,” Rowan grumbled, reluctantly pushing himself off the barstool. “Thought I told you no more interfering, Fen.”

“This isn’t interfering,” Fen beamed. “It’s what a gentleman should do.” He cocked his head. “Go on, champ.”

Muttering a string of choice words, Rowan did indeed stroll down the row of booths and did indeed find a stunningly gorgeous woman sitting alone in one booth, her blonde brows deeply furrowed as she stared at her phone screen. Gods burn him, she was gorgeous.

A little awkwardly, Rowan cleared his throat. The woman’s head shot up, her piercing turquoise gaze finding his. “Hi?” she offered, slightly wary.

“Hey.” Rowan rubbed the back of his neck. “I, uh, gods, I’m gonna sound like a complete idiot, but my friend’s tending bar tonight and he told me to come be a gentleman and I guess–hi, I’m Rowan, can I buy–”

“Aelin!” Completely ignoring Rowan’s presence, a brunette man of average height and build slid into the booth opposite the woman–Aelin, her name was Aelin–his flushed cheeks and heaving breath indicating his obvious rush into the bar. “Gods, I’m so sorry, traffic was hell and my boss made me stay over.”

Aelin reached across the table and squeezed the man’s hands, her lips curving up into a small smile. “Hey, babe, it’s okay, I know your boss is a total dick.”

Rowan melted backwards, disappearing into the crowded haze of the bar, head spinning a mile a minute.

So…Aelin had a boyfriend.

How unfortunate.

Aelin Galathynius had known for at least three weeks that this conversation was coming, but that didn't make it any easier. Eight months together was no small thing--indeed, it was long enough for some couples to move in together, though she and Chaol had yet to do that.

Which was turning out to be a good thing, considering the most likely outcome of this little talk.

She'd found out from Elide, of all people. Elide, who worked at the same physical therapy office that Chaol went to, was good friends with her coworkers, so of course she would know when one of them had a crush on a patient.

How unfortunate that the patient turned out to be Aelin's (soon to be ex) boyfriend.

“Chaol.” Aelin pinched the bridge of her nose, inches away from pushing the man out of her house before she lost her shit. “We’ve been dating for eight months, the least you could do is be honest.”

“I am being honest!” Chaol retorted, folding his arm defensively across his chest. “Not my fault you won’t accept that I’m trying, Aelin. I’m trying.”

She rolled her eyes. “Right, because flirting with another woman at work and denying it to my face is trying.”

He blinked. “You…know?”

Aelin took a deep, calming breath before responding. “Yes, Chaol, I know. Yrene is a friend of Elide’s. I know.” Before he could open his mouth to bullshit some response, she held up a hand. “I’m not even mad at you, Chaol. I should be–gods, I should be raging right about now–but I’m not.”

“That…that scares me,” Chaol admitted.

“It should.” Aelin’s gaze burned into his, the fine gold ring in the turquoise set ablaze. “Do us both a favor and go home, Chaol. Then, do yourself an even bigger favor and tell Yrene that you were dating me while flirting with her. She deserves better than being the woman you cheat on your girlfriend with.”

Chaol sighed. “I’m sorry, Aelin. I really do like you, you know.”

“I know.” She offered a wistful half-grin. “In another life, maybe it could have worked.”

He tugged on his jacket and grabbed his keys, stopping briefly at her door. “Goodbye, Aelin.” Hesitantly, he reached out, surprised when she let him rest his arm around her shoulders for a moment. “Thank you.”

The corner of her lips turned up. “Thank you, Chaol,for not trying to prolong a farce.”

He waved to her as he headed out to his car, the engine revving as he drove away. As she watched him go, lingering until the red specks of his taillights faded into the evening, only one thought crossed her mind.

How unfortunate.

Once again, Aelin found herself walking the familiar path up to Cadre Pub, her favorite bar. The same bar where, not even a month ago, she'd waited for Chaol for an hour and a half before he showed up.

She was barely even through the door before Fen, the admittedly gorgeous bartender with whom she'd become some kind of friends, waved at her. "Two again, Ace?"

"Just one." She flashed him a half-grin. "Don't look at me like that, Moon Moon, a woman go out for a drink by herself if she wants."

"Mhmm, sure she can." Fen held up his hands in surrender. "I ain't judging you, babes."

"You and your nicknames," she chuckled.

He winked. "Your booth is open."

"Thanks." She headed off. "The usual, and two shots of tequila."

Fen whistled. "Damn, you sure you're not out for a reason?"

She didn't bother responding. Fenrys ought to know post-breakup drinkers well enough after so many years working behind a bar.

Rowan glanced at his watch. 9:30 pm. Enough time to stop by Cadre and grab a drink before heading home to crash. Gods, it had been a long fucking week.

Taking a seat at one of the bar stools, he waved at Fen. "Scotch. Rocks."

"Hello to you too, Whitethorn," Fenrys deadpanned, sliding his drink across the bar. "Hey, how long are you staying?"

"Just for the drink."

"Hmm." Fen had that damn look on his face, the look that almost always ended with Rowan getting set up. "Well, if you want to stay longer--"

"No."

"Alright, you do you." The blonde man shrugged. "I won't say anything about Aelin being here again." He grabbed the next receipt and turned to start the order.

"Aelin?" Rowan's brain hadn't progressed beyond the magic word.

Fen threw a smirk over his shoulder. "And alone this time, too."

One thing in the way, though. "She's got a boyfriend, Fen."

"Hmm, that's not what it seems like." Fen grinned. "Believe me, I know post-breakup face. Don't worry," he quickly amended, "I don't mean that in an asshole way. Just...I don't know her story, but she's alone now." He wiggled his brows. "So..."

Apparently, Rowan was a man of no self-control. Because the second Fen said alone, he was out of his seat, strolling through the busy bar until he came to the same booth where he'd first seen Aelin.

She sat on the same side of the booth, holding a vodka tonic in one hand and a novel in the other, her brilliant eyes focused on the pages of her book. Two empty shot glasses sat in front of her, the lime rinds tucked into the glasses indicating it had been tequila.

Rowan didn't think he'd ever seen a more stunning woman in his whole life.

A little awkwardly, he cleared his throat. She looked up, closing her book and tucking it into the handbag beside her.

"Hi?"

"Hi." He swirled his Scotch, surprised to find himself nervous. "I'm Rowan--we kind of met a few weeks ago, but I'm not sure if you remember, it wasn't really a complete conversation."

"I remember you." A faint smile curled the corners of her rosy lips.

He blinked. "You do?"

"Of course." She chuckled wryly. "Hard to forget the one guy who was actually decent to you the night you realized your ex-boyfriend was busy spending time with the girl he really likes." She sipped on her vodka tonic, then shook her head. "Gods, that was a lot to just blurt out. I'm Aelin." She offered her hand.

"Nice to properly meet you," Rowan returned, shaking her hand. "I...please don't be afraid to slap me if this is bad timing, but can I buy your drinks?"

She gestured to the open side of the table. "Actually, I'd love that."

He slid into the seat opposite her, smirking. "So a guy can ask a lady if he can buy her a drink, and she can say yes. Turns out chivalry isn't dead?"

Aelin laughed. "Maybe not completely." She winked. "Truth is, I'm a little broke and if someone wants to buy me a drink, I'll take the free drink."

"How very cunning of you." He tipped his glass to her. "Um, forgive me for being a dick, but Fen's been trying to get me to talk to you for like three months now, so...you said ex-boyfriend?"

"Goddammit, Fen," she sighed, lovingly. "Yeah. I broke up with Chaol a few weeks ago. Turns out he had a bit of a crush on a coworker."

"Damn." He took a long pull of his drink. "I'm sorry, Aelin."

"It went better than I thought." She pursed her lips. "One of my best friends works with this crush of his, so she told me all about the way Chaol was flirting. Almost kicked him in the balls, but that would have been my job."

Rowan snickered. "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

"Never get on my bad side," she teased. "I'm mean when I'm mad."

It was nearly one in the morning by the time they left the bar. Rowan walked Aelin over to her car, lingering probably longer than he should. He couldn't help it--there was something magnetic about Aelin, something that drew him to her.

Hand on the driver's door, she paused, turning to look up at him. "Need anything?"

He scratched the back of his neck. "No I just--I want to see you again," he gushed, the words tumbling together in one breath. Shit, he hadn't been that awkward since high school. "It's not rude of me, is it?"

A bright grin spread across her lovely face. "Not at all. I want to see you again, too." Smirking, she pulled out her phone, opened to a blank contact page. "Here, put in your number."

Rowan typed in his number, half fearing this was all some kind of hallucination, that he'd wake up and never have met Aelin. She flashed him a grin as she took her phone back and typed out a quick text. His phone pinged a few seconds later.

>>Unknown Number: hey it's Aelin!

"Got it." He grinned.

"Good." She opened her car door. "I'll text you later."

"Great." He stepped aside and watched as she backed out and drove off, staring after her fading taillights with a stupid, giddy grin plastered across his face. Gods, he hadn't felt this excited since he was on his very first date.

True to her word, Aelin texted Rowan as soon as she got home, sparks of eagerness lighting up her blood for the first time in a long time. After a few quick exchanges, he just blurted it out.

>>Will you go to dinner with me on Saturday?

<<like, tomorrow Saturday?

>>Um

>>Yes?

She sent a few laughing emojis. <<Yes.

He replied with a grinning face. >>yay!

Aelin put down her phone and went off to get ready for bed, beaming like a schoolgirl. Rowan was taking her to dinner. Tomorrow. She had a date with Rowan.

How fortunate.

~~~

TAGS:

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@superspiritfestival

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@morganofthewildfire

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@rowanaelinn

@house-of-galathynius

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@darling-im-the-queen-of-hell

@llyncooljones

@silentquartz

#my writing #aelin galathynius #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin #rowan x aelin #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #rowaelin au #answered prompt of sorts

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storiesofsvu · 3 months

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Happy Thursday hoes, let’s get to it!

Todays pros: citytv thinks im in TO so I’m getting it started at six!

Cons: no subtitles.

Alright, OG up first.

Love this new detective that’s a fanboy of everyone, makes me miss rollins lol

Pls let it be a female perp. We love a good female perp.

Okay seriously, this very subtle shaky cam is fucking terrible and hurts my head.

The GROAN I let out at the sight of Samantha in her well fitted pants suit sitting there like a fucking badass pissed off look on her face. Ma’am. Please. (yes, she is the only reason I watch this show)

Okay, the pedo may be the only eye witness, but they still have blood on the murderers pants, don’t they? Would that not tie it together enough? Or is it because the eye witness was the one who lead them to him? God I hate the legal system.

I REALLY wish this show would show more of the arguing between Nolan and Sam, like these two do NOT see eye to eye or have the same opinions on basically anything. And while I know major fighting would be called unprofessional, we at least used to see the lawyers get into it, or bantering. There’s so many times that you can tell just by the look of her face that Sam’s pissed, that she doesn’t think highly of him or his decisions on cases, like she hates him. I wanna see that play out on screen LOL

SVU time!

Let’s see if this week is any better than the last ones

Liv back in therapy, we love to see it.

A crumb of EO? Will that keep the crazies at bay? (like, I don’t even ship it but fuck am I sick of it now, the baiting is hella annoying and terrible, make it happen or not, don’t keep leading the actual ship fans on…)

Uhhh… is there not some kind of patient dr confidentiality? Like this bitch could have just lost her job (esp with someone like mcgrath involved… wtf..)

ITS THIS KIND OF SHIT THAT MAKES ME FERAL. In previous episodes they’ve had situations where shrinks couldn’t testify when they were the ONE witness, and like the entire case went into the trash because of it based off this exact type of situation… where TF is the continuity??

Okay… so she’s a minor so I can see the loophole here, BUT the therapist should have told her parents….

I knew it wasn’t the math tutor…

Ok… so mcgrath threatens to kill the math tutor, but when they’re picking up the son across the street he goes rage on benson?? And the iab captain? Shouldn’t you be attempting to punch the kid or something? God I really hope this ep is his last…

“can you drop that to me?” good thing Bruno’s there cause fin would have ZERO ideas on how to do that…

“until the age of 25 the male brain is about as useful as an electrified meatball” jfc… that wins for best line of the night.

Where the fuck is Velasco? Like.. man deserves his paycheques too..

Okay, mcgrath’s wife needs to shut the fuck up, liv’s trying to help her daughter and she accuses liv of gunning for mcgrath’s job.. jfc..

I was expecting mcgrath to throw hands not pull out his fucking GUN jfc… and like.. that was infront of two cars, that’s gonna be on a dash cam somewhere…

This is one of those one case turns into 4 but there’s only 5 mins left of the episode… cmon…

“I guess I didn’t see it in myself…” THANK YOU I was just gonna bring up the whole half assed back plot of mcgrath being abusive… (which is on par for cops, and ironic that the woman playing his wife was the wife of a cop who abused/raped her in 1.o)

This very much seems like a good bye. Pls let it be a good bye. Petition to bring back Garland!

Okay… im confused, I looked at my phone for 5 seconds and lost track of what was happening. Is the iab captain joining svu, cause that doesn’t work…theyre both captains. Or is she saying she’ll be filling in for mcgrath in the meantime??

Onto OC!

Okay, I am incredibly thankful for carisi on oc, but he’s the *sex crimes* ada.. not the only Manhattan ada, he wouldn’t be prosecuting this case… lol

Me: “wait I thought he was an officer.”

Reyes: “detective?” *side eye*

Me: ah yes, okay he was promoted the writers didn’t forget between weeks.

God this entitled pos teenager… wtf… its not *your* house bitch.

Ah, thank god, here’s the arguing that was missing in OG, not surprised its Elliot. Lol.

Oh god..the bratty teen overheard that didn’t she? Fuck..

God… this girl is gonna blow the entire thing, isn’t she? Like, in todays day and age with all the social media and how teenagers (and some adults) don’t know how to go without it, there’s no way they’d cut contact with everyone and delete socials and keep things quiet.

Aaaaaannd here we go. 5 seconds in and she’s blown their new location. (also WHY would the cops even tell them the location? That seems like something they wouldn’t do until they were halfway there…)

Okay… we’re missing a daughter.. I don’t know if this is supposed to be Maureen or elizabeth but I’m assuming liz as it looks like her kids are twins and she was the twin… Also where’s dickie? (I know the brother said something about someone not being able to get a flight? Im just deaf and without subtitles I couldn’t tell ya what exactly was said lol)

How old is this younger brother supposed to be? The only info online I can find is the actor is 50 which im not sure I believe.

Okay there’s dickie he’s in the background!

These guys KNEW they were in a high risk situation and none of them have a vest anywhere near them? ARE WE DUMB?! IS IT OUR FIRST DAY ON THE JOB?

Okay, there’s the other kid.

Maureen and Kathleen giving side eye while sipping their drinks while the tea is being spilt is the highlight of this moment.

This is SOOO awkward for everyone else at the table jfc… ESPECIALLY Eli’s poor girlfriend.. like. Welcome to the family drama, don’t worry we never have to come back…

Why the fuck did jet not grab the other gun?!

Me: unfazed at Elliot body slamming a teenager.

Bell: *casually* “I’m shot”

Me: ARE YOU FUCKING FOR REAL RIGHT NOW

THIS CANNOT BE HAPPENING IF WE FUCKING LOSE HER I WILL ACTUALLY RIOT.

(BUT ALSO MAY WE STEP BACK TO 8 LINES EARLIER WHERE I WAS YELLING ABOUT THEM NOT HAVING VESTS ON?!)

I knew this other captain was going to be coming more into play, but im pissed its cause bell’s out with a gunshot wound.

Christ.

Okay well, another week and OC is continuing it’s reign as superior of the three!

Some pics for context/hilarity

#law and order svu #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit #law and order organized crime

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blackbird-brewster · 2 years

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I'm going to make some predictions for Criminal Minds: Evolution. It is officially two months til the premiere and here's what I think we're going to get (lots of this will be based on that sneak peek interview):

UPDATED: 26/11 (Ep 1-2) GREEN is correct prediction. RED incorrect. (Subscript is comments)

Emily: She's section chief now. She has grey hair now and there is a 50/50 chance they will write a line that's like 'LOL Wow Prentiss, the job is so hard you went grey!' but also equal odds no one says ANYTHING about it. Emily gets the band back together and she's just a v good badass. I DO NOT for a second believe they're going to make Emily canonically queer. They're probably going to double down and give her a sex scene with some generic dude. But she'll be able to say 'FUCK' and that's great. I love that for her.

JJ: I STG if they give us some wild Willifer sex scene (I had to witness that innuendo and Emily saying people were getting laid so it counts!) ....dksjlahdlksahl. *CRINGE* Henry is *14* now, that's bananas y'all. He's in HIGH SCHOOL. Michael is also in school now?!?!?! HOW???? She'll talk about it but we may not even see her fam bc it's ten episodes and they only ever get brought out of the prop closest like once every three years. She and Will went to NOLA for a while then moved back to DC. She'll talk about how nice it was to be away for a bit but ultimately 'I missed the BAU because this is my family' bc we have seen time and time again how she makes excuses to be at work vs being with Will lmao

Tara: They're going to give Tara a love interest and I honestly doubt it's not gonna be a dude. She and JJ have teamed up to go over every single case request for however long and so there will be JARA, which is delicious. But again, I won't for a single second hold my breath thinking they're going to suddenly make an MC queer just because it's streaming or whatever. Being on network TV was never the issue, so I don't feel like streaming isn't going to flip a magical gay switch in the show runners.(SO FUCKING HAPPY I WAS WRONNNNGGGGG!!!!!) I think we'll get some good Tara storylines though which will be SO SO good because she is the perfect character!

Rossi: I think it's SO obvious they're going to kill his wife. Probably via the pandemic. Because this show is so obsessed with trauma porn. He's unit chief now which is funny considering how much he hated it when he was interim UC before Emily came back. But it's pretty on brand because none of the show runners have ever understood continuity, why start now? I think they're going to use his wife's death to fuel him being like “I know I'm old but I just need something to do and something to make me feel useful and this is all I know. So I'm back!"

Luke: Obviously Luke and Garcia went on a date, that's been confirmed. Again, I dunno if we'll get to see Garvez on screen. At least, not how we want! I think maybe they dated a bit and now that they're back, there will be a moment of adjustment to seeing each other and things being slightly awkward but then they'll go back to their banter and shit. I just don't think this show is going to actually give us an inter-team romance on screen. I will be SO happy if they do, but I'm not holding my breath

Garcia: Obvs what I said about Luke. I think Garcia will be the one that's hardest to convince to come back. She left because those last few seasons were SO hard on her. Like this ray of sunshine had SO much shit happen to her and I think she would very much be hesitant to come back. Someone, (Rossi) (should be Luke but probably will be like JJ) will convince her to come back because the team really needs her. There will be an emotional scene where she talks about her PTSD from the BAU but then she'll just be like 'yeah, okay I'm back'. Because this show never actually addresses trauma (CANNOT BELIEVE THEY TALKED ABOUT GOING TO THERAPY!?!? WHAT A CONCEPT!)

Place your bets guys, gals, nonbinary pals. WHATEVER we get in two months, will be a TRASH FIRE. I don't have any doubts about that part. I do not expect the reboot to be any better than the show, which is an absolute dumpster fire....but it's our dumpster fire. So here we are!

Also, you are allowed to have other opinions. This is mostly a post for me to write my thoughts so I can check back when the show airs to see if I was right or not. This is not an invitation for discourse, my nerds.

#criminal minds #cm reboot #cm evolution #cm meta #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau #tara lewis #david rossi #luke alvez #penelope garcia #cm head!canon

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dramatisperscnae · 4 months

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[Just me quietly thinking about Robin: Year One and how Dick literally runs away after Bruce fires him in the wake of his first encounter with Two-Face.

He goes through weeks - possibly months - of physical therapy and rehab to get back to where he was, probably has to come up with some excuse for school once he's healed enough to go back, and keeps hoping through all of it that Bruce might relent and let him come back into the field again, to no avail. Bruce doesn't even speak to him, if they see each other at all; it's implied via Alfred's narration that they don't see each other, since Bruce is nocturnal and Dick ends up adjusting to a more 'normal' daytime schedule.

Weeks, after Dick gets beaten almost to death, and the last thing Bruce really ever says to him before those weeks of silence is "It's over, Dick." Dick's entire reason for staying at the manor is to be Robin. To help Bruce. To be out there, stopping more Tony Zuccos from hurting more people. And that's been taken away.

And I'm not here to bash Bruce for this. The man was panicked. Dick was dying in his arms by the time he got back to the Cave and he was incredibly distraught over it. Bruce was at Dick's bedside when he finally woke up, the man very much cares for Dick's wellbeing and - based on word choice a few panels later - blames himself for Dick even being in that situation to begin with. But Bruce has this incredibly bad habit of giving strong, kneejerk reactions, masking his fear with anger, and then never backing down. I can't blame him for wanting to push Dick out of the vigilante life; that's a sane and rational thing to want after having to watch the boy you brought into that life get beaten almost to death by a villain.

I can, however, absolutely fucking blame him for claiming Dick disobeyed a direct order by even going on that mission when he didn't. Bruce never ordered him to stay out of it, at least on-screen. He asked, and that was it. It's possible he told Dick to stay behind between the conversation on the rooftops and the scene in the Cave later, but I doubt it. It's more likely Bruce was hoping Dick would listen to his warning, forgetting what it's like to be a 10-12 y/o boy who hasn't really suffered defeat before.

Meanwhile, Dick has just woken up from the worst - or at least second-worst - thing to ever happen to him thus far, and when he tries to put on a brave face Bruce yanks what has become his whole world right out from under him. And then doesn't say a word to him. Now, Dick had one arm in a cast from that beating, which means at least six weeks for the bone beneath to heal and the cast to come off, plus several weeks of rehab and physical therapy to restore the muscle. So we're looking at 3-4 months minimum of Dick and Bruce not talking to - or even about - each other, potentially not even seeing each other.

I'm honestly not sure whether Dick had made up his mind to leave before Freeze pulls his stunt with the blood theft or whether that was the catalyst for it. Either is possible, but I'm leaning towards the latter if only because Dick takes the time to write his farewell letter when he goes back to the manor for his mask and his belt before tracking down Freeze and foiling that particular plot all on his lonesome. And then he just. Doesn't go back. Tosses both mask and belt into a trash barrel fire, and takes to the streets. And the letter he leaves behind is very telling as to how he sees his position in the manor and in Bruce's [and Alfred's] life.

"I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do if I'm not allowed to help you anymore." Remember he got pulled out of the only home and life he'd ever known when his parents died; he wasn't able to stay with Haly's Circus [pick your continuity for the reason why, but he wasn't] and Bruce offered him a chance to bring his parents' murderer to justice, which gave a lost little boy something to cling to even once Zucco was dealt with and he continued helping Bruce in his work.

"Alfred doesn't need to worry about entertaining me and taking care of you, too." Dick doesn't see that he has any purpose at the manor as a civilian; from his perspective he'd just be turning Alfred into a glorified babysitter, when the man has enough on his plate making sure Bruce takes care of himself.

"You don't want a partner. And you don't need a son." Dick hasn't been formally adopted. He's only Bruce's ward, not his son. That means that he's not family. So if he's not Bruce's son, and he's not Bruce's partner, then what place does he have in Bruce's life at all? The man has spent the past three months not even trying to talk to him. No word, no shared meals; does Bruce even still want him at the manor?

"I'm sorry I failed you." Bruce places the blame squarely - from Dick's point of view - on Dick's own shoulders. Dick wanted to stay on as Robin. Dick wanted to keep working at Bruce's side. It was Dick's mistake that got a man killed, and Dick's failure that made Bruce fire him as Robin. And the months of complete silence and cold distance from Bruce have only made that worse.

Now, it's debatable what might have happened if he hadn't met Boone and Shrike that night and ended up in Shrike's little Vengeance Academy. Maybe he'd have tried to go back to Haly's Circus, but given there is a panel with a huge poster for them and Dick is pointedly not looking at it I'm not so sure he would have. At least, not at first. I'm not even sure he really had a plan of what to do once he left the manor; Dick's a clever kid, but he's still 12 at the oldest and emotional 12 year olds are not generally known for their careful planning. Especially if the sudden departure from the manor was brought on by his 'last flight' in stopping Freeze. And the story ends, naturally, with something approaching a reconciliation between Dick and Bruce.

Most importantly, it's Bruce who asks Dick to be Robin again. I don't think it's something that Dick would have brought up, not after coming a literal trigger's-breadth away from killing Two-Face. That scared him. Enough to make him go back to the manor and leave a note for Bruce telling him about Shrike and the Vengeance Academy, and enough for him to see it as a further failure on his part and a sign that Bruce is right and he's not worthy of being Robin. He says as much to Alfred when the man finds him writing the note. "I almost killed a man. I could have done it. […] It was so close, Alfred. Bruce is right. I can't stay here."

Remember that Bruce never kicked Dick out of the manor; he fired Dick as Robin, but never said he had to leave. That's entirely Dick's take on it. If he's not Robin, then what place does he have at the manor at all? None. So if he's not good enough, if he can't live up to Bruce's expectations, then he has no real purpose there.

Now, Dick has always had that insecurity to him - I've read the 1960s Teen Titans comics, it's a part of him there, too, before R:YO was ever written and in a completely separate continuity besides - but this, I think, is where it really solidifies and takes hold: a little boy whose at least mildly misguided take on his situation is that if he can't live up to expectations, be what his mentor wants him to be, then he has no place there.]

#outofinspiration #concerning dick #this has been on my mind for a solid week or more #and i'm tired of dealing with it alone #so have some word vomit >>;

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trashywormeateroffics · 2 years

Text

The right universe.

Summary: After Y/N's life turns upside down, she's full of grief. Somehow, one day, she manages to travel to the MCU, where she meets her favorite characters, including a certain god who seems willing to establish a friendship with her. Suddenly she's enwrapped in this new world, where everything she loved in a screen is now reality. How will she react? Will she be able to deal with the ghosts that haunt her? Or will she let them consume her? Will she be open to accept the love she is offered? Read to find out!

Read this on AO3!

Category: F/M.

Relationships: Loki/reader.

Characters: Wanda Maximoff, Pietro Maximoff, Sam Wilson (Marvel), James "Bucky" Barnes, Vision (Marvel), Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Stephen Strange, Nick Fury, Maria Hill, Bruce Banner, Thor (Marvel), Clint Barton, Steve Rogers, Peter Parker, other minor appearances of other characters but these are the main ones, Pepper Potts, Loki (Marvel).

Additional tags: Loki/reader - Freeform, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Loki & Tony Stark Friendship, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Fluffyfest, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Pining a lot because we love to suffer, Domestic Avengers, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark is a parental figure, Natasha Romanov Is a Good Bro, Everyone is a good bro, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, y/n, After Infinity War but no one died and the purple bitch was defeated, Missions, Y/N is a universe traveller, Grief, Therapy, Protective Loki (Marvel), Loki in love.

MASTERLIST OF THE STORY

Chapter 51: Let's get this bitch.

“F.R.I.D.A.Y call them to the designated meeting room.”

Five minutes passed and they began to fill the room.

“Tony what is it?” Bruce asked sleepily since it was four in the morning.

“Yeah Stark, what is the matter?” Pietro asked, annoyed. “I was dreaming about Penelope Cruz and then you woke me up!”

“Yeah yeah, save all of your complaints. I know.” Tony dismissed everyone's groan with a movement of his hand. “This is important.”

“Spit it out then.” Natasha told him.

“You remember the Sky Breakers? The ones who two years ago kidnapped Y/N?” Everyone nodded, frowning in confusion. They were all dead, most of them at least. “Well, they're back.”

“Is this why Y/N nor Loki aren't here and Sigyn is?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and looked at Cap, expectantly.

“What do we know of them now?”

“When they all… died in that building they kind of didn't die. All of them I mean.” Everyone looked more confused than before. “We know that Sarah, Y/Ns friend, Ingrid, escaped. What we did not know was that her parents escaped too.”

“How do you know this for sure?” Steve asked, serious.

“Back then… we couldn't keep count of how many died, so I programmed our drones and satellites to notify me if one of the faces that were registered as part of the group appeared. And they did. And not only that,” he tried to brace the others for what was coming next with an apologetic expression,”their base is here in New York.”

“What? Where?” Most of them asked.

“Everyone! Calm down!” Steve exclaimed, trying to keep it together too. This could be another war, and once again he was in the position of the chosen one, the one who had to keep his calm and by doing so, helping everyone else keep their calm too. He had to keep it together, no matter how truly worried he was. “We need a plan.”

“What kind of plan?”

“No killing, we need them alive. We can't risk this thing spreading more than it already has. We need to cut it from its roots, and they seem to be it.” Everyone nodded, determination seeping into their souls as he told them the plan and revised the plans of the structure where they were. It consisted of everyone making it easier for Wanda and Sigyn, in replacement of Y/N, because no one wanted Y/N to face this situation again, to mind control the people working there and make them leave and forget about it. Then the rest of the team had to take in the innocents that were caught in the middle of it, “The enhanced” they called them, and take them to a safe house as Oscar and Oksana were taken into custody.

After the meeting they all went to gear up and prepare themselves for a good fight.

---------------------------

Y/N woke up and immediately felt sick to her stomach, as if her body already knew something terrible had happened. Perhaps it wasnt that, but the fact that Loki wasn't next to her and the air seemed heavy.

She got up from the bed and went to put on some pants and then to open the door. She was taken aback in surprise when at the other side of it was a very concerned Loki.

“Loki? What is it?”

“Its Sigyn.”

---------------------------

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Y/N was pacing the waiting room of the hospital wing of the compound as Natasha and Loki were trying to calm her down. “Are you fucking kidding me?!” She repeated again, directing her anger at Steve and Tony.

“Y/N we-”

“You put my sister in danger without telling me!” The both men stepped back, they had never seen Y/N so livid. “You excluded me from a fight that was mine! You had no right!”

“Y/N, you once faced these people and it ended in a mess. We didn't want you to go through that again.” Steve said, calmly.

“That was not your decision to make! It was mine!”

As Tony and Steve were trying to calm the young woman down, one of the nurses approached them.

“Excuse me,” he said, “I have news on the patient.”

Everyone turned to him. Y/Ns eyes were wide. She hated this, she hated Tony and Steve for lying to her and she hated Sigyn for putting herself at risk.

“What news?” She asked, trying to put on a brave face. The man stood there, nervous. “Is she dead?”

Steve, Tony, Loki and Natasha all looked at her as if she had grown two heads. Where was this coldness coming from?

“No!” The nurse said, alarmed. “She's in a coma, we don't know when she'll wake up… or if.”

“Fucking fantastic.” She smiled sarcastically and dropped herself on a chair. The rest of them looked at each other with questioning eyes. They knew Y/N cared about Sigyn, they knew she considered her a sister, apart from the fact that she was her actual blood related sister, but they had never seen her like this, so hopeless, so bitter.

“Y/N/N,” Natasha began, as Tony and Steve talked to the nurse and doctor and Loki went to grab her a glass of water. “What is it?”

Y/N looked at her friend, her family, and her lower lip began trembling.

“Nat, I can't do this again…”

“Do what again?” The redhead asked, confused, but was interrupted.

“Here, darling.” Loki told her as he stood in front of her with the glass of water. The other men also approached them.

Y/N ran her hand over her face and sighed, a few tears escaping her eyes.

“Nothing.” She stood up and went to grab the glass from Loki's hand and downed it in less than five seconds. “Nothing.” She mumbled under her breath.

The next few days, Y/N stood by Sigyns side, reading, singing and crying to her. She was avoiding the team, even Loki, by hiding in the hospital wing next to her sister.

Today was no different, except for the fact that Natasha had had enough of her icing them out.

“I'm gonna go talk to her.”

“You can talk all you want, she's not going to answer.” Loki said, defeatedly. He missed his beautiful, chirpy Y/N and he didn't know what to do to bring her back. He wasn't even sure of what was happening, not even in the worst times she had pushed him away. Why was she doing it now?

“I can be very persuasive.”

And that's how she found herself knocking on Sigyns door, knowing that her friend was on the other side of it. When no one answered, she opened it.

“Hey… I brought you a sandwich.”

“I'm not hungry.” She mumbled as she stared at the woman on the bed.

“Y/N/N, you need to eat. You haven't been eating more than an apple a day. When Sigyn wakes up you know she's gonna scold you.” Y/N clenched her teeth and Natasha realized quickly: that was a mistake.

“We don't know if she'll wake up.” She said harshly. The red head sighed.

“You're right. Still, she would want you to take care of yourself. You know that.” She looked up from the floor and nodded slowly. Win for Natasha.

She ate in silence, and when she was finished she got up from the chair to throw the wrapping paper into the trash can, making a loud noise in the otherwise quiet space.

“I don't have anything to say, Natasha.” Natasha. Harsh.

The red head shrugged.

“You don't need to say anything.”

“So, why are you here then?”

“I wanted to see how my best friend was, is that so unbelievable?” Y/N swallowed thickly.

“N-no.”

“Okay, good.” She nodded.

A while passed and Y/N looked at her.

“I'm sorry for calling you Natasha, Nat.” She smiled.

“Don't sweat it Y/N/N.” She bumped their shoulders together and they both smiled softly at the other. Then she got serious. “But I do need to ask you, and if you don't want to answer I can drop it but, what did you mean before? When you said you couldn't do it again. Were you talking about losing your family?”

The other one sighed, she was expecting that.

“Yes.” Natasha nodded. “But not only that.”

“What else?“ She asked patiently. She knew this was hard for her friend, even though it had been two years since it happened, it was still a traumatic and very painful thing for her.

“Don’t let this ruin your life.”

“What?” The redhead asked, confused.

“That’s what my brother told me when he was in the hospital. Such a stupid thing to say.” She laughed bitterly.

“What do you mean when he was in the hospital? I thought your family died in that car accident.”

“They did, most of them. All of them except for him.” Y/N looked at her, with an almost apologetic smile. “I never told you guys this because it’s too much. Everything about it is just too much.”

“It’s okay Y/N/N, I’m not angry. I understand.”

“I was at a piano lesson when I got the call. I’m sorry, the person on the phone told me. I don’t even remember what went through my mind, I just ran to the hospital and there he was: on a bed, so hurt he didn’t even look like him.” Tears were already staining her cheeks and she didn’t even bother cleaning them, there were too many. “Three days I sat on that stupid chair next to him, three days in which he didn’t speak, he didn’t even look at me, not because he couldn’t but because he didn’t want to. What was there to say? We had lost everything and he knew somehow, I know that he knew, that I was going to lose him too. It’s like he wanted to make it easier for me.” She sobbed with her face in her hands and Natasha, crying too, caressed her back, trying to bring her some sort of comfort. “Then on the last day, when we both knew that that was it, he told me: don’t let this ruin your life.” Y/N looked at her friend with bloodshot eyes. “How could I not Nat?” She burst out crying again at that question. “And now I’m here again, waiting to see if my sister wakes up. And I can’t do this again, I can’t lose someone else, I won’t be able to take it.”

“Y/N…” For the first time, Natasha Romanoff was speechless. What could she have said in that moment that could’ve made it better for her? Y/N was right, there was only so much one could take. But Natasha needed her friend to stay where she was, she needed her to survive no matter what, so for the first time ever since they knew each other, she uttered a lie. “She will be okay, she’ll wake up. I promise.” And god, did she hope that she wouldn’t have to break that promise.

-------------------------

Bip, bip, bip. The incessant sound of the machine was driving Y/N crazy, but it's better than no sound at all, she thought. Sighing, she accommodated Sigyn's pillows under her head so her neck wouldn't be sore if she woke up, then she went outside and sat on a chair in the waiting room.

It had been a day since the talk she had with Natasha, in which she told her, before she left, that she needed to talk to Loki, that icing him out was hurting the both of them. It was true, she knew. That's why she told F.R.I.D.A.Y to call him to the hospital wing, where she was now, waiting nervously for his arrival. Would he be mad at her? Would he even want to talk to her?

“Hey…” His voice made a warmth appear in her chest. She looked up at him and smiled softly.

“Hey,” she uttered shyly, “how are you?”

Loki cocked his head to the side and frowned.

“I'm… worried.” Guilt began forming in her stomach like a knot she couldn't untie. She was a terrible girlfriend. Maybe Loki would be better off without her.

“I know Loki, I'm so sorry.” She told him as tears began forming in her eyes. He immediately sat down next to her and grabbed her face between his hands to wipe them away. “I've been horrible to you! I've been ignoring you completely, icing you out and you should hate me!”

“Darling-”

“No, please. Be mad at me, I deserve it.” She cut him off, very upset.

Loki tried to find the anger he had been feeling these past few days, not at her directly, but at everything and tried to make it resurface again. He tried for a few seconds, but looking at her beautiful love, worried for him, with tear stained cheeks and those beautiful pleading eyes he couldn't muster any of it. So he smiled softly and caressed both her cheeks.

“My love, I can't be angry at you. I understand.”

“But Loki, I don't deserve it.” She whined.

“You have stood by me since the moment we first met, who else would deserve it more than you?”

Y/N jumped into his lap and gave him the tightest hug she had ever given him.

“I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” She kept repeating.

“Darling, it's okay. I'm glad you're with me now.” He pulled away a bit to look at her. “Just… talk to me, scream at me even if you need it, but don't… don't shut me out.”

“I promise I won't do it again.” She sniffled. “I love you. So much. And I think that's why I've been acting like this.” She grabbed his face between her hands and looked at him, as if it were the first time. “I can't lose you Loki, I've lost so many people but… not you. God, please, I can't lose you.”

He felt a pang of pain in his chest. Two years ago, when Sigyn appeared, he had seen her memories. He knew everything that had happened to her and she trusted him with it; he understood why she was so triggered by this situation, he understood why she was pushing him away. She was so scared of losing him that she couldn't even face him. He felt the same way about her, he could handle losing anything, but not her. So he kissed her, softly and passionately all at once and nodded as they pulled away, a silent promise of forever.

------------------------------

“Come on Sig, wake up.” Y/N sighed when the woman in front of her didn't move. “I brought you some of those magazines that you love.” She smiled at her. “If you were awake I would mock you for liking them and you would purse your lips like you always do when you're offended.” She chuckled softly at the image. “You would tell me: they're amazing Y/N! They contain everything, what's not to love? And I would roll my eyes and huff, knowing that deep down you could never get upset with me.” She frowned. “And I could never get upset with you.” She held her hand and softly caressed it. “Cause you're my sister.”

The silence that followed that statement was heavy, so heavy she felt like it was hard to breathe.

Right when she was about to get up and leave she felt a hand grab her arm. She turned around abruptly with wide eyes.

“Y/N…”

“Sigyn!” The woman tried to get up but she pushed her back onto the bed. “No, no. You need to rest.”

“But-”

“No buts.” And then, in awe, Y/N grabbed her face between her hands and looked at her, giddy. “You're awake.”

Sigyn smiled softly.

“I'm awake.”

----------------------------

“You don't need to do this, Y/N.”

“I know Steve. I'll be fine, don't worry.”

“Alright, let's go.”

Taking a deep breath, Y/N entered the doors of the questioning room where Oksana and Oscar Muller were handcuffed in with her friend. It had been two days since Sigyn had woken up and all that time that she was in a coma they both had been in custody of The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D. But now it was time to get some answers.

“Well hello, Miss Y/L/N… It's been a while.”

“Save it.” Y/N cut Oscar off. “How did you escape?”

“When?” He asked, almost wickedly. Steve sighed and she put a hand on his shoulder.

“When I killed your whole building of people, but not you apparently.”

The man let out a laugh, truly seeming to enjoy her admission.

“Will you look at that?” He told his wife who smiled just as wickedly as him.

“Look, we already found your base in New York and since we found the papers in that gray box hidden inside the wall, we can also assume we've also found any other base or plans that you had.” Steve said, serious. “So you better talk.”

The couple looked a bit affected by that but hid it quickly.

“We have nothing to say to you.” Oksana told them laughing and Oscar joined her too.

“Alright… Y/N?”

“Digging up the box, we also found the names of your enemies, the people you stole the idea from, and I think they would love to get payback, don't you?”

At that, the couple seemed to sober up.

“You are bluffing.”

“Are we?” She asked, smirking.

Oscar and his wife looked at each other, seemingly having a silent discussion. She then looked at Steve and Y/N and opened her mouth to speak.

“Don’t…” Her husband told her, looking almost… scared?

“It’s our daughter-“

“Oksana, no.” He interrupted her, begging at that point.

“Ingrid.” She finished anyway.

“Sarah?” Y/N asked. They both looked at each other. “What about her? She’s on the run.”

“She is not.” Oscar spoke now. “She is merely hiding… and waiting.”

“Waiting for what?” Steve asked this time.

“Waiting for you to let your guard down and destroy you and everything in her path.”

“We are not evil,” Oksana said, “we are simply concerned parents who would do anything for their daughter. Including going to jail for the rest of our lives.”

“But she must be stopped.” Oscar finished for her.

“But you founded the organization, you created the Sky Breakers.” Y/N said, furrowing her brows.

“At the beginning, yes, we did. But then she took our power, our authority.”

“She was the one who kidnapped you, she just forced us to pretend that we had done it.” The woman said on the verge of crying.

“Why would she do that?” Steve asked, confused.

“Because she’s planning something bigger and she needs us to look like the real bad guys.”

Oscar looked concerned as he said the next words.

“She is coming, and you better be prepared.”

------------------------

“We found her.” Tony said as Steve stood by his side.

“Who?” Wanda asked.

“Sarah slash Ingrid. She’s in Spain. She was found by one of the drones.”

“Spain…” Y/N widened her eyes. Of course! Sarah had told her many times, back when they were normal friends who talked about normal stuff, that she loved the country and that she dreamed of living there. “We need to go right now, before she escapes.”

“Yes.” Steve agreed with her. “Everyone gear up. This is a fight for a whole team.”

--------------------------

While getting prepared for the mission, and as she boarded the quinjet and sat down on a window, Y/N thought of Sarah. How genuine she seemed sometimes, how fun it was to spend time with her, how much she was beginning to care for her before everything was ruined, before she ruined everything. Was she truly so naive? There must’ve been some signs. There must’ve been, she repeated in her head.

She was so caught up in her thoughts that she didn’t realize that Wanda was calling her.

“You okay?” She asked, frowning in worry.

“Yeah, just… thinking.”

“About?” Y/N shrugged.

“Nothing important.”

“Nothing important…” The redhead repeated, narrowing her eyes. “I can tell this is hard for you.”

“It’s not.” She lied.

“Okay,” Wanda conceded, “just know that it’s okay if it is.”

After that she stood up and left her alone.

---------------------------

“Alright, just as we agreed before.” Steve told the team through the comms. “Team Sam enters from the windows on the ceiling, team Bucky through the back doors, team Tony through the side door and my team enters through the front doors.”

“Copy that.” The leader of every team said.

“Everyone,” Cap said before entering, “on my command. Now!”

Everyone stormed into the big warehouse, on the outskirts of Barcelona, ready for a very hostile party to greet them, but were all surprised when the party consisted of a very scared woman and an equally scared child.

“What the hell?” Bucky said, frowning.

“Everybody, careful! This could be a trap.”

“It doesn't seem like one,” Tony said. “F.R.I.D.A.Y already scanned the place. It's just her.”

“So much for a good fight.” Clint said under his breath and Nat hit him on the chest.

“Ingrid Muller, you are under arrest.” Steve told her and got closer to her, surprised that she didn't put up a fight.

“Wait!” She said as they were taking her out of the place and onto the quinjet. “Careful with my son, please.” He nodded and motioned for Y/N to grab the child, who was probably three or four years old.

She did as told and soon enough they were all driving home to the compound, with Ingrid Muller or Sarah and her alleged son.

------------------------------

“What were you doing in that warehouse all alone?” Steve asked.

“Where have you been these last two years?” Tony asked at the same time as him.

Currently they were questioning Ingrid, while Natasha and Y/N stayed on the other side of the glass in the questioning room.

“Hiding.” She answered the first man. “And hiding.” She responded to the second.

“From what?”

She shrugged.

“Ingrid, you are facing a lifetime in prison if you don't cooperate. You are already facing a long time even with cooperation, so you better talk. For the sake of yourself and your son.”

The woman seemed to be affected by that, because she looked up at them with tears in her eyes.

On the other side of the glass, Y/N and Natasha watched attentively.

“Does something seem off to you?” The redhead asked.

“You saw it too, didn't you?”

“The look of relief on her face when she saw it was us? Yeah.” She nodded.

“It doesn't make any sense.” Y/N shook her head, frowning.

On the other side, Sarah, Steve and Tony were in silence while she cried. Then she broke it.

“My parents.”

“You were hiding from your parents?” The blond man asked, confused. “Why?”

“I know you have them.” She stated. “And I know what they said to you.”

“What did they say?” Iron Man asked this time.

“That I'm the bad guy.”

“How do we know if you are not?”

She looked at Cap and dried her tears.

“The kid, he's my son. Jeremiah. He is what came after my love with his father, someone my parents never accepted.”

Y/N frowned, the story seemed so similar to Sigyns. Meanwhile, Ingrid continued.

“They killed him.” She began crying again. “Then they forced me to join them, they said if I didn't they would kill Jer.”

“How do we know if you're telling the truth?” Steve asked her.

“Is Y/N here? I need to talk to her.” She asked, ignoring the blond man's question.

“You can't see her.” Tony told her firmly.

“She's behind the glass, isn't she?” Y/N squirmed uncomfortably. “Y/N, I'm sorry. You were a great friend. I'm sorry for everything that I said and did to you. It wasn't my choice. I hope one day you can forgive me.”

“Enough of this.” Y/N left the room and then entered the one where the two men and the woman were.

“Y/N,” Steve said, with a reprimanding tone.

“Y/N…” Ingrid said and smiled softly.

“Don't Y/N me. What are you talking about?”

“Y/N, I know you know something is off.”

“Ingrid-” She shook her head. “Sarah. I don't even know. Why would your parents force you to kidnap me? And to be a part of their organization?”

“Because she asked them to.”

“Who?”

“Sigyn.”

~taglist~ @mischief2sarawr @midnights-ramblings @paetonnn @tohellwiththedevill

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sharkneto · 2 years

Note

Hiii :) Can i ask for writing advice? If so, How do you write robs advice? Or how do you write a character giving advice to another character without being “problematic” and having the advice actually make sense? How do you make solutions in a fic?

I know solutions are not black and white but i still struggle with writing them. If you could help i would appreciate it so muchhh❤️

Oh, sure. I don't know how helpful I can be on this front, but I'll throw my two cents together.

So, part of it is just experience. Idk how old you are, but I am at least not desirable to Leonardo DiCaprio. Life has thrown me some real curveballs, I've done the therapy thing a couple times. Just having some life under my belt helps a lot in writing Rob stuff. I've got some perspective, I've talked with therapists and had my brain thoughts prodded and shaped to be Better, to be more aware of them and my emotions to better manage them.

So, that's what I'm drawing from when I write Rob stuff and advice. I try to do my best with it, but I wouldn't base anything Real off of what I have Rob say. I don't know that it would hold up under the scrutiny of an actual therapist. But I write what I think sounds good and makes sense to me from how I'm thinking about Number's thoughts/reasoning and where it should be interrupted/redirected. I know where Five's thinking is broken, so I know where Rob needs to prod.

And that's not to say you can't write people giving advice or therapist characters if you don't have experience with them. I'm really lucky I've been able to get the therapy I needed when I've needed it. But for writing it, all it's really based in is self-care and working on healthy thought patterns, which are things you can look up and read about. There are so many self-help articles and books out there. I also like listening to HealthyGamer on YouTube, which I recommend anyway. He's a therapist that interviews/talks with streamers and also breaks down big mental health ideas (how to set boundaries, ADHD, depression, gifted kids...). I've learned some good stuff from him, and his interviews are interesting.

I don't totally follow what you mean by problematic (message me a follow-up if there's a specific thing that's relevant). If it's a fear of giving bad advice, I have two fronts for that. 1) This is fanfic. I don't have a disclaimer of "hey don't follow any medical advice given in this fic" because I think that should be self-explanatory. I do the best I can, I work to make it sound good, but at the end of the day, I am writing this for free in my evenings after my real job. If someone is really mad about what I'm writing, there's a back button at the top of the screen. 2) You don't want all your advice to be Right. Characters have misunderstandings, maybe don't read a situation right and give the wrong advice. Maybe they're just not experienced enough to say the right thing or don't have all the information they need to make the right call. I think it makes it more meaningful to not have a 100% accuracy for a character doing/saying the right thing. They're human. It's more interesting, too.

How advice comes across also depends on the relationship of who's giving it and who's receiving it. In Joining Together, Rob is a psychiatrist, he's over 15 years older than Five, and isn't associated with the Umbrella Academy. Advice from him hits much different than, say, Klaus telling Five the same thing. Five might listen to Rob from the getgo. He is going to ignore Klaus on principle, at least until it really bites him in the ass and then he might grudgingly consider the advice. Use that, use your characters and their existing relationships to shape how advice is given and how it is heeded (or not). The reader may know if advice is good or not, but your characters don't - use that possible irony. It's delicious.

Lastly, and broadly, how do you make solutions in a fic. If you have a more specific question directed towards this, feel free to follow up. But, interpreting this as "how do you fix things" outside of the overarching plot, it's about having a starting point and and end point, and then mapping out how you get from Point A to Point B (...which is also what you do for the overarching plot). How you map is up to you - many people outline, I don't; it's all just in my head with a general trajectory. But you need little steps between those points so that readers can notice that progress is happening, that it's not a sudden change. An example from Joining Together is that Five had to go from Asshole Loner Number Five to Friends With Rob And Sarah. This took me like 60k words to do, which I did not expect, but was how slow it had to grow for it to feel realistic for Five. The steps we had to get through were 1) Five works with Sarah 2) Five realizes he respects Sarah 3) Five learns Sarah will apologize when she's hurt him 4) Five learns he can rely on Sarah for help when he's hurt 5) Five tries to go to Sarah for emotional help (he gets Rob) 6) Five learns both Rob and Sarah have his back and can be trusted -> Friends. How to pace a journey from A to B depends on the journey, the fic, and the fic length. The technical side of pacing growth is something you figure out through experience, just writing and playing around with what you're doing until you're happy.

This got long, but hopefully it's not just me rambling to hear my own voice and there's something helpful in there. I spend a lot of time just Thinking and then, once I do have words down on the page, tweaking to get it to flow and feel right.

#feel free to follow up if there was something specific #i like talking about writing so feel free to ask any time #altho caveat is that i'm just a hobby writer and making it up as i go #i enjoy what i write tho and seems like a lot of you do too #it's been fun to note how i've improved over the past two years #anyway - hope this is somewhat helpful and happy writing #writing #ask response #long post

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muffinmonstah-art · 1 year

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Lately I’ve gotten back on the Jaybabs ship thanks to things like the 3 Jokers comic storyline as well as Gotham Knights and man am I itching for some Gotham Knights-verse Jaybabs content. I’m most likely in the minority when I say that I like Jason’s design in this game because it makes him more distinguished when put next to the other Robin characters, and stuff like the character cutscenes where they interact are just so wholesome to me along with the voice lines and emails where they discuss stuff like therapy. In fact, the first times (In a row) I had a random player join my game was when I was playing as Red Hood and the player came in as Batgirl (coincidence, I think not). So now I’m wondering if you’re going to do some Jaybabs art or fanfics based in Gotham Knights?

Yes, I think you're really in the minority when it comes to liking Gotham Knights lmao

That game is a mess, bro. There's fanservice for us the Batfam fandom to like, sure, but the game is terrible. The characterizations for the characters are weak as fuck. Jason is the worst of them all.

To be fair I think Jason's design is the least of the problems regarding the elements in the game. It kinda growed on me too. The main problem is that the combat in the game is trash and they really did Jason dirty in that regard. He is the slowest and his mystical powers are not properly justified nor explored in the narrative. He also doesn't have an arc.

These devs talked too much on interviews about how their Jason went to therapy and shit before the events of the game, but his actions and dialogues in-game are contradictory with that exposition info. He behaves like the loner agressive Robin that resents working on a team and there is a tension with Dick at the beginning of the game that doesn't go anywhere after that. He also talks like his death was recent?? If he died so recently then when in the hell he had time to go to therapy?? Also if he went to therapy before the game then his friendly behaviour in the later cinematics doesn't feel earned nor like a natural progression, because his mind was already "fixed" off-screen.

I don't know, there's too much exposition refering off-screen previous history to set up these characters and that's a major flaw in my opinion. Their relationships with each other are not properly fleshed out. They rely too much on exposition and there is not enough progression in the few cutscenes each of they have, not even to learn more about who each of these characters are. Jason and Barbara don't even have too much interaction to begin with. They don't even talk about what both of them went through with the Joker. I don't understand how can you write interactions between these characters and miss THAT.

The only dynamic that feels like there was some actual effort put in to flesh it out is Jason & Dick. It's not much but at least they have the most number of interactions in cutscenes and there is some variation between the emotion they show to each other. They could have made the game about only Jason and Dick by that regard.

And I'm not even talking about the 30 fps issue, the lame RPG elements, the dumb Knighthood system where you have to unlock each hero's unique traversal by completing boring dumb challenges, the generic and boring open world, the lack of a conter-system to flesh out the basic combat, the bland use of the side villains, the waste of the Court of Owls as a main threat, the conflicting tones while trying to mix the horror and mystery with the goofy moments like the livin' la vida loca cover during the infiltration on the Blackgate prison, etc.

Gotham Knights as a whole is a very dissapointing game for me. This isn't the game I wanted, to begin with. I wanted a game made by Rocksteady and set in the Arkhamverse, after the events of Arkham Knight starring the Batfam of THAT universe. Instead we got this mediocre reboot of Arkham made by the support B Studio.

I think Warner Bross shouldn't allow any other studio than Rocksteady to carry on the Batman mythos and the making of Batman games. The Arkham franchise is fantastic. They nailed the characterizations, the dialogues, the designs, the voice acting, the humor perfectly mixed with the dark and gritty themes, the graphics that to this day look amazing, the combat!

Have you ever heard the audio logs from Arkham Knight's Jason? The exchange between that Jason and Barbara have more emotional impact than all GK's cutscenes in my opinion.

#asks

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black-ajah-hq · 2 years

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WoT S1E1 Retrospective Part 4

Final Part!

Spoilers below for the entire show/series

go to previous

^ I watched this episode with a friend (who knew nothing of WoT) and he was saying that the effects here look really weird/bad. I didn’t really care at first, but looking back there’s definitely something that just feels...off. I believe that this is partly due to the weird white back light that is being cast on Moiraine, which doesn’t really make sense...the weaves are all around her not just behind. I think a more subtle light to show her channeling would have been more effective.

^ cool imagery, but again, I wanna complain about Moiraine’s choreography. Channeling here suffers from what I have dubbed “magical inefficacy” in which the magic user spends far more effort looking like they’re doing magic than actually doing magic. It feels inefficient. Her movements should have been snappy (they are in some parts) and instead the majority of channeling moves require so much effort to weave, it just feels like a trolloc could swoop in and take her out at any second. It simply does not seem worth the effort to channel because she’s not getting nearly enough output as work she’s putting in. Vaguely this sequence reminded me of the bending in the live action The Last Airbender movie, but not quite as bad as that. I think...elemental magic is just difficult to pull off in live action.

^ THE WOMENS CIRCLE HAHAHA i love them

^ Laila fights with a hammer...interesting :)

^ so in the show Nyn is a ta’veren too...which means the Dark One probably wants to have a chat with her. I’m assuming this is why the trolloc dragged her off instead of immediately killing her.

^ i’m not convinced this is the only reason why they took her! She’s a ta’veren!

^ I like the idea of Perrin killing someone accidentally to set up his story...but I don’t like that person being his own wife. At all. I really wish it was Master Luhhan (at least) because wife fridging just isn’t it...

It really makes me wonder how they’re going to do Perrin’s relationship with Faile, because setting up that romance in the show where that starts in the book timeline is waaaay too soon. Perrin needs years of therapy to recover from this, realistically.

^ the books could be very gory in parts but actually seeing it on screen makes me o.o

^ the acting!!!! holy crap

^ NO don’t pull it out!!! jeez, you would think Lan as a warder would have at least some medical knowledge in case his Aes Sedai gets wounded. That is, unless they had to pull it out because the blade has Trolloc poison on it?

^ not the Winespring Inn!!! ;-;

^ this was so dark, man, i feel bad for Perrin

^ Don’t be rude, Rand, she just saved your father’s life!!

^ The fact that they cut right to Rand after Moiraine says “They’re here for you” feels a liiiiitle too obvious. But that could be just me since I already know who the DR is at this point

^ well, dang. There’s really no time here to “think” about going with Moiraine. The village is so crippled that that they can’t really fight off another wave of trollocs (honestly, they couldn’t fight the first wave either without moiraine). The urgency here is what forces the EF4 to make their decision without really weighing it. It’s either they go with a stranger who as an Aes Sedai probably knows what they’re talking about...or almost certainly doom their village.

^ At the very least I’m happy that we got the “The Wheel of Time turns...” iconic phrase somewhere in this episode.

^ Sigh. One of my fave parts looking back at EoTW is Tam and Rand’s last chat before Rand decides to go. We were ROBBED! JK, i know it doesn’t fit into the story here (plus focusing on Rand too much would be a no no) Sadge. I will pretend it happened behind the scenes

Final Thoughts:

IMO this isn’t the worst episode, but it certainly isn’t the best either. Once i “accepted” the changes it makes it a little more enjoyable bc I’m not nitpicking the show based on the book canon.

WoT desperately need the “Rings of Power Treatment”, where we’d get this first episode drawn out into two quieter episodes that take their time setting things up and getting us used to the characters. From what I’ve heard, many non-book fans had trouble connecting to the EF5, so a slower start to the story might have fixed that! Realistically, WoT is incapable of doing this since WoT isn’t an established on-screen franchise and many who watch it are unfamiliar with the source material. The showrunners needed to focus on getting the audience “hooked” faster in order to retain their interest. It’s unfortunate but it’s what needed to happen.

Has the worst cold open out of all the episodes. Grrrr

I enjoyed how they tried to give each of the EF5 backstories here, not just Rand

This goes for the entire season (excluding one episode) but it kinda feels to be like a high-budget fan production. I can tell there was care going into the script, but they also had to take many liberties with the story to make it work as a TV show and fall within budget and time constraints. However, a lot of the editing/lighting/direction feels very amateur, and this is especially apparent in the scene where Moraine enters the Winespring for the first time. There a general “weirdness” that’s happening with this show on the technical side. I’m praying it get’s fixed in future seasons.

To me, this still feels like WoT. Not exactly how I remember from the books but perhaps another turning of the Wheel. I can get on board with that

The actors here are AMAZING. I think that’s the main reason why I think the show still embodies the spirit of WoT. The characters act for the most part like their book counterpart would act if they were in the same situation.

#wot on prime #wheel of time #wheel of time rewatch #black ajah rewatch #wot spoilers

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kookiecrumb · 2 years

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Hey! I hope you’re well. I was really hoping you could write up a smut about this situation I’m going to through (using Jungkook) I’ve been talking to this boy for over a year and truth be told he wanted me first because ent mom wanted me to date him but I hated him!! Right now we’re at a point where he doesn’t want to talk to me. He leaves me on opened for hours at a time, delivered for DAYS even. We just lost our 200 day streak and I honestly don’t know what his deal is. We use to send n*des back and forth very regularly and now we do our best to even hold a conversation. Maybe I sl^tted myself out but my overall point is that he’s not always been this way. Anyways, I’m hoping you could at least get my to third base in your writing! The two hash it out and end up roughly f^cking 🥰

That's a really intense scenario 😅

I have a lot on my plate right now with requests. They're closed right now (check my pinned post and scroll to the requests section).

But~ I get that you're trying to work through it...

Perhaps you could write about it, yourself. Writing can serve as a form of therapy for many people, just as reading could.

Just for your peace of mind, I'll at least talk about how I would write this.

Maybe retail therapy could help you.

You took a shopping day. With your comfortable shoes and your purse, you took the car all the way to Summerset Mall in search for just anything to distract yourself.

There's a reason Ariana Grande wrote those lyrics in for 7 rings.

Perhaps happiness is the same price as your bottoms.

Anyways, you're at the mall, searching through the racks at Nordstrom when you lift your eyes to see Jungkook, striding through the walkways with his friends, laughing his ass off.

What the fuck?

You thought he was dead or something.

One day a dude is sending you dick pics through snapchat and the next they're leaving yours on read. You'll never understand it.

Being the curious person you are, though, you keep a steady gaze on them as they leave to the general mall area.

It would be weird to follow them, but your closure might me more important in this case.

Jungkook was standing in front of two of his guy friends, reenacting some kind of story-- and it must be hilarious because they're laughing out loud.

"So-- and she goes, she goes like--"

"Who's she?" You ask.

Jungkook's ears turn red. "...My sister," he clears his throat, turning around. "My sister tells me about an interaction she had with a cashier the other day."

Believable.

"So, we snap for a few months, you get bored of me and then ghost me, is that how the next story goes?" You confront him.

"How did you know?" Jungkook has the audacity to laugh.

"My mom really liked you, Jungkook. I thought that maybe we could make something work. It was just sex to you?"

"No, it wasn't just sex. Because we never fucked," he drops his smile.

"And you're salty about it."

Jungkook's friends scatter, heading to the pretzel store to grab a bite to eat. This is none of their business.

"Of course I'm salty about it," Jungkook says in a much more quiet tone. "You never gave me the time of day."

You stare at the ground. What he said is true. You hated him when your mom suggested the two of you got together. You just didn't want your mom to be right.

"...Please forgive me, Jungkook. I made a mistake. I should have taken that chance," you mumble.

"That's okay...just...let's be boyfriend and girlfriend before we end up hurting each other even more..." he replies, quietly.

"You want to make things official?"

"...Yeah."

If you want me to write smut you'll have to send me a request when they're open but I really hope this helped.

I imagine that y/n would be the one punishing him a little, talking about how she's watched him stroke his cock through a screen for so long, now she gets to give him the fuck they've always dreamed of having...

Yeah ;P

#asks #ask #reqs

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deke-rivers-1957 · 4 hours

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Kung Fu Elvis Part 3

youtube

If you're new to this series, the point of this is to find out which Elvis character is the best fighter given an uninterrupted hand to hand combat styled fight. The goal is to rank each individual Elvis character and then within each tier determine who would win against who.

How I plan on determining this will be by finding each character's age, size and general background. How well a character does in on screen fights will also be considered but analyzed on a case by case basis. Sometimes an Elvis character loses a fight simply because it's a comedy, or due to the low quality stage fighting wins because his opponents are laughably weak.

At the end of the day this is all headcanon as these are all fictional characters. If you disagree with how I rank a character I would love to hear your thoughts on where you would put them.

Wild in the Country is a movie that doesn't have a particular year. You would have to use the cars seen in the movie to determine when it takes place. Despite the presence of cars from the 40s, you also see a 1961 Chrysler New Yorker. Culturally speaking, you can also tell this is the early 1960s as you have Glenn going to therapy instead of immediately being institutionalized, a black man working with a white attorney showing the progression away from segregation, and college being a somewhat viable option with attendance steadily increasing since 1957. Given that Glenn doesn't have much of a job and has a rough and tumble backstory, it's likely that he isn't getting a full three square meals a day.

Even though I said on some sources, Glenn is stated to be 25, I could see someone make the argument that he's younger. Since no one claimed that he was a bit "too old" to be a college student, I'd say he's about 20/21 years old. Glenn being drunk is a non-issue because I don't see this town as being the type to care about enforcing drinking laws. In fact, Glenn's dad is an alcoholic and his uncle has it readily available which would make it more likely for Glenn to have drank before he turned 21.

Kissin Cousins relies heavily on the US military wanting land to build an airbase for the sake of national defense. Given that the Cuban Missile Crisis would serve as a big motivator to have a solidified air defense, we can assume this movie takes place a little after October 1962. Josh is an Air Force pilot and since he doesn't have anything on his uniform to suggest he was involved in a war or military intervention, it's fair to say that he's been living comfortably yet still has to be at least somewhat fit. Jodie meanwhile has been living up in the mountains his whole life where everyone lives off the land, so there isn't a lot of room to take in an excessive amount of calories. That also means, given his lifestyle and his work as a wrestler, Jodie by necessity has to stay in shape.

Going off of Josh's rank as a 2nd LT. I would say that he's anywhere between 25-30 years old. He never mentions being involved in Korea so that would make him under 30 in 1963. Given that there's no war, it takes a little longer to be promoted so even if Josh went to the academy and graduated, he'd still need a couple more years to be a commissioned officer. If you're in the Air Force, please correct me on how this worked during the 60s. As for Jodie, I have nothing to go off of. We don't have anything in mountain life that's age based. We can only assume that since Jodie is played by Elvis, he's at least an adult. For simplicity's sake, I'd say he's about the same age as Josh.

Despite having a somewhat specific timeline, Kid Galahad doesn't have a specific date. What we can assume is that it's after the 1920s since a poster of the real Jack Dempsey fight from 1921 is shown to be really old. Since the movie was filmed in 1961, I wouldn't be surprised if it was thrown in to a be 40th anniversary nod to it. Given that we see a contemporary Lincoln Continental, I would think this takes place throughout 1961. Mushy Callahan exists in this movie's universe is shown to be an older man, indicating that this takes place well after his prime since he retired in the 1930s. Walter being stationed in Okinawa for the army doesn't really give you a specific clue of when it takes place since the US had a persistent military presence in Japan after their surrender in WWII. Walter never mentions a war though, so we can assume that this takes place after Korea yet before the US sent group troops to Vietnam in 1965. We can assume that him being a soldier and a mechanic meant that he's relatively strong and fit.

Walter only has a canonical baptism date of August 14th 1939 in Cream Valley, New York. Given the context clue of his parents dying when he was 14 months old and that he lived with his family in Kentucky since then, we would assume he was baptized before they died. He was baptized by an Irish Catholic priest if he was allowed to marry Rose, an Irish Catholic so that means his parents likely abided by Catholic guidelines that a healthy baby is baptized within a few weeks or months of birth. Therefore, I would assume he was born in 1939 which in 1961 would make him about 22 years old.

This movie is about as specific as you can get with the time period. The Seattle World's Fair only lasts 6 months from April to October, 1962. We also know that Mike and Danny fly over a potato field. Potatoes can have a variety of planting and harvesting times, but it's common for them to be harvested in August or September. Since the fair isn't overflowing with kids, we can assume most schools have already opened. Sue-Lin's 7 years old so she's old enough to go to school, yet she's able to attend. If we assume that Mr. Ling was saving up money to take Sue-Lin to the fair, he would've had to have been saving money throughout the summer so he can take Sue-Lin right before her schooling starts, so we can assume that this takes place in either August or September, 1962. Mike being a recently destitute crop duster, likely had enough money to eat properly. He would also have to be fit enough to have any chance at becoming a test pilot or an astronaut.

We don't Mike's exact age, but we can make a guess based on certain elements of his life. If he wants to apply to NASA he has to be below the age of 35, have a degree in most commonly engineering, etc. Mike doesn't feel concerned about the age requirement so we assume that he has a few years to wait. We know Mike was in the Army for 3 years and that it takes about 4 years to get a degree in engineering. If we assume Mike did meet that requirement, he likely did it right after he left the Army using his VA benefits. Since the youngest you can be to join the Army is 18, Mike at his youngest finished his degree when he was 25. Since he worked with Danny as a crop duster for 3 years that would make him at least 28. So for simplicity's sake we'll stick with him being 28 years old.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Glenn might have an age advantage, but he's not at all in a good position to be the best fighter. He's a hot-headed character when he fights and only fought people who were impaired to some degree. He seems to win because of adrenaline and luck. He's similar to Deke from part 1 in that his ability to get proper nutrition is questionable at the very least. Given that he's the young, scrappy and hungry character I don't see him being able to have a long fight. If fact, I can see him being completely unable to win a planned fight. With no motivation to fight as his life isn't on the line, he just wouldn't do that well.

Therefore, Glenn is the worst fighter of this group but that's not an insult. With the exception of Jodie, everyone else has military training. Glenn is still in B tier simply because for the average person, he could beat them in a fight. He just wouldn't stand a chance against the other fighters in this group.

Josh and Jodie only fight each other. No one won because Azalea and Selena interrupted their fight. If you look at this realistically though, I don't see this as an even match. Josh having military training doesn't really help him if he was in a fight. He's an Air Force pilot so he's very unlikely to face someone one on one. Also he would have a gun which doesn't reflect your physical abilities. Jodie is essentially the strongest man in the whole mountain village. You can't live in the mountains your whole life, with no contact to the outside world, and not develop any type of muscle. The only gun they have is a hunting rifle, so must confrontations likely are settled through physical force. That gives Jodie a lot more experience with physical combat.

Therefore, Josh would be in B tier but above Glenn. Josh in general is more physically fit than Glenn. Simply having better nutrition by being in the Air Force would give Josh more energy. Glenn having the age advantage doesn't help him since he wouldn't have the stamina from lack of nourishment. Jodie on the other hand would be in A tier. Brute strength would be enough to win against the average person which Josh basically is. If you take him being a champion wrestler seriously, I don't see how Jodie could realistically lose against someone like Josh in a purely physical fight. I can't rank him higher because even this is based purely on what I think should happen. The movie just doesn't give us enough to know for sure.

Walter won every single fight, won against professional opponents, and won against opponents despite being unarmed. Even in the beginning when he had no technique, he still won his practice match against Joey with one punch. As a professional boxer, he's nothing but physically fit. You know that his camp is going to give him nothing but the best. We see him train and even when he's not training he's working with a heavy duty Model T.

Walter is easily the best fighter of this group. A character like Walter is the reason why this project exists. He is what this project is about: finding the best fighter in the ECU in a hand to hand combat, alone, and uninterrupted. Definitely an S tier fighter as he has direct boxing training, has an age advantage, and has never gotten out of shape. The only thing I question is how realistic it is for him to not get knocked out after being punched. The movie is making it sound as if this is some bizarre ability that I simply don't know if it could even exist in real life. I would still put him ahead of Jodie because if we do believe that Walter's ability to not get knocked out is a legit thing that can happen, then Jodie's brute strength is useless. It would be an insanely entertaining match since you just know that Jodie would be fueled by his hatred for losing.

Mike has only won fights that don't fit my proper criteria. I really think he can win on his own but the movie simply doesn't depict the fights like that. Then again, these are more akin to street fights where things aren't always fair. Adrenaline might play a big role in his fight against Vince, but again Mike being able to maintain a certain level of technique is a sign of skill.

Mike. E is in A tier and I can see him winning some good fights. Despite being a crop duster pilot, Mike being in the Army does give him an advantage. He has to have a bunch of stamina and it shows with him being able to run all over Seattle and still manage to fight Vince. However, without any official solo fights, I can't give him the edge over Jodie. If Jodie being the champion wrestler is a fact, then he would have more canonical solo wins than Mike.

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To summarize for this part:

Walter is in S tier.

Jodie is in A tier.

Mike E. is in A tier but below Jodie.

Josh is in B tier.

Glenn is in B tier but below Josh.

Tagging: @karel-in-wonderland, @crash-and-cure, @lynettethemadscientist, @leighpc, @alienelvisobsession, @seredelgi, @southcarolinawoman, @arrolyn1114, @ash-omalley, @snicks-12, @freudianslumber, @be-my-ally, @xanatenshi @vintagepresley, @peaceloveelvis, @tupelomiss, @peskybedtime, @squaggleson, @idk583838, @mercsandmonsters, @smokeymountainboy and @lookingforrainbows.

#wild in the country #kissin cousins #kid galahad #it happened at the world's fair #glenn tyler #josh morgan #jodie tatum #walter gulick #mike edwards #kung fu elvis #ecu discussion #Youtube

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whalebonereviews · 1 month

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American Animals (2018)

This is a movie review so....spoilers ahead :)

Honestly, I both loved this movie and hated it. On one hand, it glorifies 4 entitled white men's dumb college heist, and on the other hand, it perfectly captures the dread of waiting for something, anything to happen to change the grey 9-5 trajectory your life is currently on. I loved the cinematography and acting. I could feel their anxiety and desperation through the screen, the real-life people talking to their film screen counterparts were really the cherry on top for me.

Growing up I never had idols or people I looked up to (which sucked when I had to write essays about my non-existent idols), instead I had people I would never want to grow up to be. For example: my Tia, living with her narcissistic controlling mom, no friends, a candy crush addiction, and a bank teller job. My mother, unable to stick with a job for more than a year because she became stressed, depressed, or bored, and unable to control her emotions before they reached her children, and giving up on her dreams of art. All this is pretty depressing for a child and probably didn't help my outlook on life.

As a high school senior who has felt like she is waiting for something, anything, to change and bring me back to life or change my eventual 9-5-giving-up-on-my-dreams-for-reality fate the beginning of this movie really struck a chord with me (especially before I realized this isn't fiction and is really based in reality). I get why they started planning it. It gave them a goal to work towards, excitement, adrenaline, a change from their dull lives and futures, and a whole bunch of money. I don't believe they did it for the money though , at least not on the whole. What I don't get is why they kept going. They couldn't have been so blind-sighted that they believed they could pull it off unscathed or with a small slap on the wrist. Obviously, the excitement, adventure, money, and toeing the line kept them hooked, but their entitlement and conviction that they would get away with it was infuriating. It was meant to be infuriating watching them throw their lives away with dumb decisions and sloppy mistakes but I still sat there with my hands nervously sweating.

This movie explores the pitfall that is late-stage capitalism and the American Dream beautifully, with the constant reminder that this was and is someone's life.

Overall, this was a great movie and I definitely recommend watching it but make sure to take it with a grain of salt.

I need to say that I have tried so hard to pull myself out of this haze of disillusionment. I have been to countless hours of therapy, I started working on a farm in another state, I tried to kiss my best friend, and yes I have tried lying in the middle of the street in the rain, but those are all just temporary fixes. I am not just complaining that everything wasn't handed to me on a silver platter, I am complaining and relating to the emptiness and hopelessness I feel (and the men in this movie felt) because of our society. I feel like I go through the motions of being a good student, a good friend, a good leader, making sure I eat 3 meals a day, trying my hardest to be pretty and nice and interesting, and keeping all this and more up in hopes that someday soon I won't feel so empty inside. I feel so trapped and stuck sometimes. I want to cut off the long hair I grew out because it was pretty, tear out my piercings, eat all the garlic and onion, and seaweed I avoid because it will make my breath stink, scratch at my skin until it's scarred beyond belief and tell every person I hate that I've been nice to to kindly fuck off.

I swear watching the clock tick closer to 4:15 will kill me someday.

#Im going to be honest most if this is just me trauma dumping haha #But if you clicked on my account for unbiased/professional movie/book reviews idk what to tell you buddy #wow I forgot to search this movie up on tumblr and yall really have it bad for warren #yay america #american animals #warren lipka #film review #movie review #tbh i watched this movie bc I though it was a perks of being a wildflower style fiction heist movie

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si-unit-is-kg · 1 year

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14 April, a bit of catching up

8 April: Do you struggle to read long texts or are you one of those people who can read everything with ease (Braille counts too of course)? If you're blind, do you struggle to pay attention when a screen reader reads a long text, or is it ok?

I can read with ease. I read all the time - so much so that processing text is much easier than speech. I do space out a lot, though.

9 April: Did an interest ever turn into an "obsession" for you? If not, do you regularly experience hyperfocus when you engage in your special interest? If nothing applies, tell us about your longest interest, no matter if it's a special interest or not!

It's weird, but sex and romance are special interests for me. I find it hard to engage with media with a lack of romance. Fandoms are recurring one for me.

But here are a few I've had. I've not kept to all of these, but the accrued knowledge presents me as an erudite person. Here is a (hopefully) chronological list:

number theory

greek mythology

cosmology

french

cosmetic chemistry

tv tropes (ongoing)

sociolinguistics

fashion history

10 April: Can you understand speech when there is background noise? If you're deaf: Could you understand speech when you were younger? If your hearing is aided: Does the sound make listening to speech uncomfortable to you?

Yes.

11 April: If you learned to speak as a child (definition for this post: the ability to use spontaneous speech (mouth words) to communicate in at least two-word sentences), did your ability to speak improve after that, stayed the same, decrease, or did something happen that you can't speak at all anymore now?

If you never learned to speak, did it take you a while to find a good communication method (for example sign language didn't work, communication board was too confusing, but AAC device is ok)?

My ability to speak ameliorated as I grew older. Due to a tongue tie, I started speaking later anyway. I read a lot, and my mission was to develop a lexicon as advanced as possible. I liked the respect it garnered: the compliments of my eloquence, the reading awards and the smiles of approval. I really struggled with that triple.

12 April: Were/are you in speech therapy? If so, for what? If not, do you think speech therapy could have helped you?

YES! I was! Doctors were concerned that my ability to use spontaneous speech was limited. I did it for about 18 months but don't remember.

13 April: How important are routines to you? Are your routines more based on time ("I always do this at 6pm!"), on habits ("I always drink from this cup!") or both?

Routines are sacrosanct to me. So sacrosanct that breaking them will cause me to have a meltdown. Therefore I avoid them. My routines are more based on habit; if the quotidian minutiae of my life do not coincide regularly, why should my routines? I do not drink water and juice out of the same cup. I must brush my teeth before bed with a particular brand of toothpaste (that delightfully tastes nothing). I have to fill out my Subject Track Sheet as well.

14 April: If you learned to speak as a child, were you a late talker, average age, or did you speak at a really young age? If you never learned to speak, how do you communicate? For example an AAC device, sign language, a communication board, etc.

Late talker. I just didn't communicate. I would cry if I wanted something? By the time I was 11, I had a weirdly posh accent and sesquipedalian speech. Sometimes, words get stuck in my throat, and I ruminate, urging to be said. I think that is more a manifestation of my anxiety.

#30 days of autism acceptance #2023 #30 days of autism acceptance 2023

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saltypiss · 1 year

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I can’t put into enough words how not okay this is for any product, and the genuine ailment of ‘gamers’ accepting this is a plague spread from the rest of capitalism, and consumer acceptance of blatant greed celebrated. Whether profitable or not, it’s bad for the consumer, the free market is entirely hinged upon propaganda most people say doesn’t make them want to hyper-consume.

Minecraft went from being it’s own thing you paid once for and had the complete experience, from before alpha, to release. To a touch screen drink dispenser with every company now able to stick their grubby little mitts into our cups.

Like. Realize, companies make products, that We, then buy, or, more maturely, need. In that same instance, if we need it, why the fuck do we accept it being made shit and over-monetized. If we don’t need it, then we wouldn’t buy it, escapism is a need, fuck off.

So stick with me here, maybe have some fucking standards? Like, the free-market only works when the only other fucking half of the free fucking market, actually partakes competently, and not usefully idiotically for any and every company, sending them money practically for the least amount of effort the company thought they could get away with enabling them to double down later.

Companies create good products when you fucking demand it. Seriously just because it’s your favorite, or it blew your mind, raised your standards, point out some fucking flaws, when bullshit happens don’t fucking break your back 90° to justify it, you’re literally carrying the defense for the company that currently has a knife in your god damned spine.

When you allow them to crush your balls and spit down your throat, don’t expect them to stop there when that gets boring. And don’t think your subservience stops when a point is reached, by every previous goalpost, you‘ve developed a fetish for letting companies rule the free market and crush your balls. Either fucking develop some standards, or genuinely, just get some fucking therapy, you have a problem. Genuinely, actually, you have a fucking problem.

The fact this shit is so fucking common and profitable, speaks volumes to the evergrowing pile of facts that companies have completely controlled the way people operate down to what is culturally acceptable even if morally and logically, clearly fucking not.

I still see fucking idiots trying to say 30fps is the framerate eyes operate at, like the fucking propaganda from the Xbone/PS4 consoles is still prevalent. We’re no longer talking subjectiveness in whether the actions of companies are moral, whether products they release are even good, it’s a fucking rat race to see who can lower standards for the next company to do the same, followed by how much bullshit you’re willing to deal with.

At no point, in the fucking history of gaming, have we had an actual, honest to god, addiction problem. No fucking company would want to DARE go near that until we started allowing more and more ways for companies to invade our wallets, our homes, our privacy, our fucking lives. Go outside and walk for 10 minutes and try not to be advertised something. Trash on the roads have logos, billboards, products people have outside, it’s never, fucking, ending.

So when I see Minecraft, honestly, forget minecraft, fucking (Game) that I paid for once, get sold to the fucking Devil of gaming, an infinitely, infinitely, infinitely, worse company in general to quite literally all of the world, when I see that they easily could’ve just had Minecraft shirts, cereal, puzzles, toys, socks, shoes, backpacks, pencils, fridges, stickers, foam swords, bikes, cups, birthday pinatas, TV shows, literally free advertising and an entire generation install-base, all the fucking possible royalties, and I see, this many fucking DLC. The fact they seriously, couldn’t help themselves to get ALL, THE, FUCKING, MONEY.

It just non-stop, motherfuckin, BOTHERS ME, when ANYONE, ever, EVER, wants to try and give ANY fucking leeway at ANY point to ANY company. Because this is it, this is ALWAYS where they go if they don’t go bankrupt or sold to a conglomerate. Because quite literally your company is required to do infinite growth just to keep going reliably.

Fuck capitalism. You know, I get it to some degree to mostly blindly defend and want to protect it, but ya really just can’t when we’re this fucking late-stage and absolutely, nothing, nothing, is being done to keep us from crashing this burning fucking train. And you can thank Microsoft for adding all the fucking possible Tie ins and cutting content out to sell later, and fucking stealing content to sell later, and god damnit. You can just look at this, as a historian, and honestly feel fucking horrified that billions and billions of people, hell, trillions and how ever many multiplications of that, were genuinely, throughout their entire life, accepting of this fucking shit.

Just know, it’s fucking embarrassing for the people who remotely pay attention and don’t feel like letting themselves be robbed blind, and act like it’s just not a big deal, when the bigger picture has never been more fucking obvious and accessible. This shit isn’t even remotely worth trying to denounce as “woke” you’re just a fucking idiot who never fucking had any self-awareness because everyone else is just as god damned usefully idiotic as you are.

Oh just to add, this is just for the 360 version. That’s discontinued.

#Like my god #In order to get the full experience #holy #fuck #minecraft #gaming #over-monetization #dlcs #addiction creators #capitalism #microsoft #gaming industry woes

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cutehomo · 1 year

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What I Didn't Know: A Personal Essay by Joe Tanzer

I was 9 when Section 28 was abolished in 2003. It was just after this time that I recall first being taught about penis-in-vagina (PIV), heterosexual, reproductive sex – or, as it was known, ‘sex’. I remember asking my year 6 teacher how you knew when it was over, the deed done, concerned that I would mess up and not produce the required baby.

There was no suggestion of other options, certainly no mention of sex between men. Though section 28 was no longer on statute books, this continued as I progressed through high school. Science, History, English, Geography, Religious Education; even Art and Drama – all had apparently nothing to teach me about LGBTIQA+ identities and intimacies.

HIV/AIDS was also never formally mentioned. Although queer communities had been educating themselves on safer sex since 1983, and effective antiretroviral therapy had abated the sense of crisis in 1996, there was a complete silence surrounding the recent epidemic. The history of the disease, and the courage and means by which it was faced, was not being passed on. But as I grew, there were some things, some ‘meanings’ of the AIDS crisis, which I did begin to inherit.

‘That’s so gay.’

‘Are you gay?’

‘Don’t touch him, you’ll get AIDS!’

Having AIDS in the western world meant that you were gay; being gay meant you had AIDS. There was some complicating factor, in that AIDS was also happening ‘over there’, in Africa. So you could be straight and have AIDS, as long as you were black and poor. At the same time, AIDS in the west was now ‘over’; ‘ongoing AIDS’ was happening somewhere else, with a touch of inevitability, and had nothing to do with us. I understood that something dark had happened to gay men, but it was never acknowledged, and this compounded the general sense that gay men were ill-fated. These notions pervaded my life even once I left high school. After I came out to family, I was told: ‘It’s an unhappy life, to be gay.’

This tension between the fear that anyone could become infected, and its casting in moral terms as a ‘gay plague’, permeated the AIDS epidemic from the start. The first concrete evidence of a child being infected through a blood transfusion in the US was published in 1982, so early on in the initial epidemic (1981-1996). In the UK, at least 1200 haemophiliacs were infected in this way, before the screening of blood donations was introduced in 1985. ‘The AIDS innocents’, The Daily Express called them, ‘They have led blameless lives’. This was in contrast to those, of course, who had become infected through certain sexual acts, ‘condemned as producing AIDS’, as John Rechy put it in 1983.

Another tension of the epidemic was that, although it was a ‘gay’ disease, ‘the button you had to press to get more money was the one labelled ‘everyone is at risk’. This is what the director of the Terrence Higgins Trust found in the UK, where 75% of AIDS cases were gay men. It was the communities most at risk who therefore missed out on targeted care and information. As early as 1985, the majority of New York’s AIDS cases were non-white, and by 1988, this was true of the US as a whole. The disease had started to proliferate down ‘the East Coast corridors of poverty’, heralding ‘the start of the second AIDS epidemic, distinct from the epidemic in gay men’, as Randy Shilts wrote. The appalling apathy of the Reagan and Bush administrations was thus as much about racism as about homophobia. Persons with AIDS (PWAs) were a source of difficulty and embarrassment. Governments dragged their feet. Neighbours were hostile. Deprived of support as equal citizens, nearly all of the help came from the LGBTQ+ and black and brown communities themselves.

Knowledge of these events is not being passed on. As the AIDS crisis is not considered to have happened to ‘the general population’, it is not in our history classes. Novels and non-fiction works based on this time are considered to be of special interest. It is not being remembered. There is currently no national AIDS memorial in this country, despite a campaign led by Gay Men Fighting AIDS (GMFA). London has no memorial, despite being the epicentre of the UK epidemic, in which 20,000 people died. It is perhaps more likely to have a COVID memorial before it has an HIV/AIDS memorial.

The more I learn about the epidemic, which had been devastating communities for thirteen years by the time I was born in 1994, the more I cannot believe this vast silence. I think about it through my parents, my grandparents, those who connect me to that time. What were they doing? Were they demanding governmental action? Were they battling the pervasive stigma? It could so easily have been me, dying.

I wonder if it is fair for me to become angry with them. It is harder to hold someone to account for not doing something. For letting something happen. So much happens every day. ‘As crimes pile up, they become invisible’, Bertholt Brecht said. I imagine people my age, up and down the country, watching It’s A Sin and wondering, what did my parents do?

There are countless representations of the Second World War. More are created each year: we are oversaturated. The images don’t seem to reference anything that feels real anymore. It’s A Sin, by contrast, is one of a mere handful of mainstream representations of the AIDS crisis. It almost didn’t get made: BBC One and ITV rejected it. Once writer Russel T. Davies had cut it down to five episodes, Channel 4 finally accepted. It seems that the horrific violence of the war is still more palatable than watching gay men have sex, fall in love, and fight for their lives. I wonder why this is.

I meet young queers now who don’t know what ACT UP is. They know the pain and isolation of homophobia and transphobia, but they do not know the inspiring story of how people like them came together and changed the world. I wonder why and how it is, that the shame is inherited, but not the pride. I wonder why it is still so often the case, that queer people have to leave their homes, find and forge a new community, before they are able to know their own history.

There is so much of it. A rich reservoir of anger, pride, love and despair. But it is a closeted history: to speak of it feels like a profound effort. And if I am angry about that, to whom do I direct that anger? Those responsible for me may say, as Richie’s Mum does in It’s A Sin, ‘I didn’t know’.

When we don’t know our history, we feel isolated and become powerless. And it is very painful indeed to realise - later in life - that none of this was necessary, that there were other ways you could have lived your life. Not coincidentally, one of the most empowering moments for me as a queer person came in 2017 as I watched the film 120BPM. It was the first time I saw the AIDS crisis represented, and the first time I saw a queer person angry at the injustice of their situation. I was twenty two.

Another important moment came when I recently discovered Sarah Schulman’s Gentrification of the Mind. Reading this book was like being hit by a wave. Winded, drenched in new knowledge, I had to reorient myself. I had never experienced such a sense of injustice on behalf of gay men, or such an uncompromising position on queerness. How did Schulman have the confidence to say such things? I had never encountered a piece of writing arguing as if gay men were important, valued people. As if those that died were an unfathomable loss that has consequences for our culture today. Gay sex and gay lives were not to be discussed as I was growing up, and they certainly did not need to be remembered. And in the face of this stigmatisation, to prove Schulman’s point, I counted myself lucky for whatever form of ‘acceptance’ I got. In her book, Schulman writes, provocatively: ‘Where is our special prosecutor appointed by the president to investigate fifteen years of governmental indifference and its product - the global AIDS crisis? Where is our Nuremberg trial?’1

Derek Jarman is another who wrote his truth bravely, this time from within the midst of the storm (he died in 1994, from AIDS-related diseases). His memoirs have shown me the power we have when we create our own culture, when we describe our own lives. I then found a novel by Lucas Rocha, who takes us to present day Brazil, and explores the impact of HIV in a world where Undetectable = Untransmittable, for those able to access medication. His work is an amazing testament to how far we have come, whilst reminding us of the ever present, pervasive stigma which still surrounds HIV.

Things are better for me now. I am filled with courage and inspiration, thanks to these artworks. They are part of my found-family - an idea from queer African- and Latin-American ballroom culture. They have been a life-line, a thread connecting me to those who came before me. Now that I’ve found them, I’ll never let them go.

References:

Lucas Rocha. 2020. Where We Go From Here. New York: Scholastic USA.

Sarah Schulman. 2012. The Gentrification of the Mind: Witness to a Lost Imagination. California: University of California Press.

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