#AND THEYRE AS BIG AS MY FUCKING H A N D

[grimbeak]

Just calmed myself down from a panic attack because my father accidentally let a crane fly into the house and it turns out I'm a lot more afraid of those things this year than I was last year

#Panic attack tw #insect tw #crane fly #Don't even fucking come at me with that 'its just a bug it wont hurt you' shit #I fucking know #I can't fucking control what I'm scared of #AND THEYRE AS BIG AS MY FUCKING H A N D

[peachcitt]

i spent almost the entirety of last week spending as much of my time as i could alone to recharge and then i spent friday, yesterday, and today around people and now i can just tell that my battery is OUT what the fuck

#peach rambles #g o d f u c k i n g s h i t #like when my battery is out i just get really mean and irritable and it’s happening and i just want to be alone #but all of my roommates fixate on my behavior because theyre not like me like they don’t extended periods of time alone to be okay #but i DO so when i have to be alone they always make it a Huge Thing when it’s not that big of a deal #and it just FUCKING SUCKS like i was alone all this past week!!!! and two and a half ish days of being around people i enjoy #and now all that hard work is???? fuckign gone?????? #i hate it here (in my brain) #sometimes i really do be wishin i was an extrovert #i feel like that would make a lot of my life so much easier but here i am. ssufferin g #anyways im fine everything is fine

[artificialbreezy]

can you do nsfw alphabet with bucky???

NSFW Alphabet with James Bucky Barnes

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

So sweet omg. Basic dom energy. Gets you water and a snack and runs you a nice warm bath with some soothing music so you relax and get comfortable. Unless you end up slipping into sub space then he immediately goes into ``No baby, its bucky``

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite body part of himself is his biceps. Makes him feel STRONG and able to protect you against whatever. Now, his favourite body part on you, is either your ass or thighs. Whether he's between your thighs, or has your head buried in a pillow, with your ass in the air.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He LOVES the taste of you, whether you come undone on his tongue or his fingers. He has to taste you. And my god, watching you swallow his load, jesus he's ready to go again just from that alone. But his all time favourite thing is when he cums inside you.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He is one of the kinkest dudes to live. Especially since he's gotten into the modern world.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very, like he obviously has had sex before. But it was never much of any foreplay or anything other than love making. But now that theyre with you, my god, sex king.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

1000000% doggie. The view it gives him, makes him feral.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

It depends on the situation honestly. Sometimes yes, other times he is in full dom mode and just goes to town, (with consent of course)

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He grew up in the 30-40s, he's not really shaved. But not a jungle

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Definitely old fashioned. Loves making love and holding you close and kissing on you and taking care of you in any way shape or form.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He typically doesn't jack off much because he just talks to you and you end up helping him take care of his problems, as well as he takes care of you.But when he does, he usually stays away from porn as he has so many photos and videos of you alone and with him.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Man is a hardcore dom, he likes being in control in 90% of every aspect in life. Though he is in control of you and most things, you still have the upper hand. Really big into bdsm, Sir is his preferred nickname in those kinda moments. CHOKING. He's really big into choking, loves watching the smile appear on your face the minute his hand goes to your throat.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He's kinda old fashioned. He's come to terms with the 21st century for the most part. But, he sticks to the bed, the couch, or the shower mainly. Though he cant help himself sometimes and he has definitely taken you in a bathroom in a bar.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Truly, he is so in love with you, that you turn him on. Whether it's an outfit, bending down, touching him super gently and soft, or when you really tease him. But the sight of you on your knees while he talks to you about what a good slut you are for him, REALLY gets him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Honestly, he's down for whatever you wanna try. But the minute you sound even slightly hesitant, he says no.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves giving and receiving. He's mainly a giving kinda man, being he likes to make you feel good. It boosts his ego knowing he makes you that on edge in a good way.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

That also depends on the situation. Like punishments, FAST as FUCK. but there's other times where its just slow and sweet, where he's looking in your eyes and telling you how beautiful you are and how much he loves you. But on the days youre both just feeling some nice rough sex, hes fast and hard.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

YES. he LOVES quickies. I mean sometimes he just needs you right then and there and on some of those times you guys don't have a lot of time. And most times he just gets you off. Now it can range from once a week to maybe 3 times a week, depending on how you guys are during the week, ya know?

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Absolutely. He didn't do too many crazy things back before he was frozen and changed into a trained assassin. So now that he's with someone who is KINKY, he is living for trying new stuff.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Hey man, being frozen has done a lot for that man. He can go for a WHILE before he really is ready to nut. Which you are not complaining.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Oh my god yes. He mainly uses them on you, but sometimes the vibrator hits his cock while he's going at it with you, and honestly, he isnt mad about it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

OFTEN. He likes to get you on EDGE before he even touches you. But i must admit, you tease him just as much.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Living in the tower for a while, you guys have sound proof walls so he's pretty vocal. But since moving into his apartment, you guys have to keep it kinda down. But he still makes sure you hear him so you know you're doing a good job.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He won't tell anyone, but he most 100% likes it when you get dominant with him. It's not often, but sometimes he LOVES it. Like on the days he gets back from missions, if it's not a love making session, he prefers you on top, taking control.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Pretty well shaven, buff, big, and soft. Don't let the tough look fool you, man knows how important a sugar scrub and moisturizer is.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

HIGH. He needs some sort of sex damn near everyday. Though, if you're not in the mood, that is okay with him. He`ll just go to the bathroom and get himself off to photos of you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Never before you. It's his job to take care of you, so he ALWAYS makes sure you are okay and content before he goes to bed.

#sebastain stan head cannon #sebastian stan blurb #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan au #sebastian stan smut #sebastain stan #sebastian stan headcanons #sebastian stan x reader #bucky fluff #bucky x y/n #bucky barnes headcanon #bucky barnes smut #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes blurb

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”

#bill denbrough #bill denbrough x reader #bill denbrough smut #bill denbrough x you #bill denbrough fanfic #IT movie #it fanfiction #it bill #jaeden martell #jaeden lieberher #jaeden wesley #jaeden x reader #jaeden martell x reader #jaeden martell smut #richie tozier #eddiekaspbrak #stanley uris

[mydekuacademia]

nsfw alphabet for tenya iida?

Sure!

C, D, K, and T found here

A: Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Hes very by-the-book with aftercare. He'll get you a glass of water, wipe you down with a washcloth, make sure you're comfortable, but he's not the best with the more intimate aspect of aftercare. He definitely gets better with it over time

B: Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner)

He loves your face and hands. Face because he adores your expressions, and hands because he loves loves LOVES holding them

on him, maybe this is overplayed, but he likes his legs. Not necessarily his calves, but overall. He knows theyre strong and hes proud of it

E: Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

No experience whatsoever lol. He used to be such a straight edge student that he didnt even consider having sex until marriage, but after the Stain incident, he loosens up a lot. Its slow going, but he gradually accepts his desires and gains some experience with you

F: Favorite Position

Doggy, cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, 69, honestly p much anything. The straight edged ones are always the kinky ones

G: Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc.)

99.9% of the time, hes completely serious. The only time he wont be is if he had a very stressful day and wants to let loose with you. Even then, he isnt cracking jokes or anything

H: Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Extremely well-trimmed and shaped. To Iida, it's just another part of good hygiene, so he really really prefers to keep himself well-groomed. Even if you prefer more hair, he probably wont budge

I: Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

So intimate like holy shit. Hes constantly caressing your cheek and brushing your hair aside and peppering small kisses along your exposed skin. His first priority is to make you feel loved, so it's rarely just mindless fucking

J: Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

He only masturbates maybe once a month, and only to take care of the biological need. He doesnt have the highest sex drive, so its not a huge thing for him

L: Location (Favorite places to do the do)

Bed, mostly. He has a reputation to uphold as the class rep, so he wont risk having sex in a place you could get caught. Absolutely no common room or empty classroom. The most adventurous place hed be willing to try is a locked closet, but even thats a big maybe

M: Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you really embody what a hero should be, healthy communication, when you show passion for anything, and if you help him wrangle the class. That last one especially 😎

N: NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Watersports or scat, gunplay, knifeplay

Theres not too much hes 100% against tbh

O: Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

He prefers receiving over giving. At first, it was because he was insecure over his lack of knowledge of how to give oral, but when he learns how to do it, he realizes he generally just prefers receiving. That doesnt mean he wont eat you out/suck you off like his life depends on it tho

P: Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Hes Sonic, hes gotta go fast. He is at least gentle about it tho

Q: Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hes fine with them. He knows hero life is busy and there isnt always a chance to take your time, so hes totally chill with quickies

R: Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)  

Totally down to experiment with kinks and fetishes. As stated before though, he wont be risky with locations or try any of his 100% nos

S: Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He'll last as long as you can go. You last for 2 rounds? Okay. 5 rounds? Hes still good. Only 1? Thats fine.

U: Unfair (how much they like to tease)

My god, Iida can tease the hell out of you when hes in the mood. His favorite way of doing so is restraining your hands and making you watch as he strokes himself. If hes feeling nice, he might put a vibe on you while doing so

V: Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

He likes to whisper in your ear during sex. He doesnt moan or grunt a lot, but mans will talk to you p often

W: Wild Card (Random headcanon)

He lowkey wants to have an orgy with the dekusquad, but he'd absolutely never say so

X: X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Hes b i g and thicque. Definitely over average and girthy enough that its a complete necessity to really prep you every time

Y: Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Not really that high tbh. He enjoys sex, but he doesnt often actively seek it out. He'll have sex with you if hes bored or wants physical affection or if you want it

Z: ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

If he really went for it, he falls asleep pretty fast. Otherwise, he can stay awake for a long time

#iida tenya x reader #iida tenya #boku no hero academia #bnha #bnha x reader #my hero academia #mha #mha x reader #spicy

[inosukeslefttoe]

HH... HHHHHHHH 

th-this image as well.... HOLY SHIT GUYS LOOK AT IT OH MY GOD ??? im still on the first game so idk some of the characters but like !!! LOOK AT THE BOTTOM RIGHT !! MORE LESBIANS OMG ??? THEYRE H*LDING H*NDS IM GOING FERAL AND IDEK WHO THEY ARE KHGDGLNK... OMG AND LOOK AT LEON WITH HIS ARM AROUND HAJIME (?) I MISS LEON I FEEL LIKE WE WERE R O B B E D OF SO MUCH GOOD LEON CONENT :,) bro also.... hiro and that pink haired bitch that i have a crush on... doing matching poses ... ghdkghbidygid LIKE HOW CUTE IS THAT ??/ lmao and the way mondo and the big tiddie onee san lookin girl are messing with hifumis hair EVERYONE IN HERE IS SO FUCKING PRECIOUS IM SO EMOTIONAL

and now... m-more lebsians ghdgnbb LOOK AT SAKURA AND HINA HOLY SHIT SHES LIFTING HER UP AGAIN WITH ONLY ONE ARM OHMYGOD THATS JUST,,... THE EPITOME OF EVERYTHING I WANT ... GOD I LOVE SAPPHICS... AND I FUCKING LOVE BIG BUFF WOMAN LIFTING UP CUTE TINY GF I AM LOSING MY MARBLES OVER HERE HKNBCKDG

lmao if you thot that last bit made me lose it then uh...,,, haha,,,,, 

mmm....

inosukeslefttoe.exe has stopped responding....

i just,,,, EVERY CELL IN MY BODY ADORES ISHIMONOD A-AND LOOK AT THEM HGNBCNBKHGKD AND LOOK AT TAKA HE LOOKS SO INTENSE LIKE THE LIL WEIRDO HE IS AND HES SO EXCITED GOD IM SO HAPPY HDGKDG AND M O N D O HHHHHIS  S  M I L E I AM THIS CLOSE TO PASSING OUT AND WE GOT A WHOLE BODY MONDO WITH HIS COMPLETE FIT BRO HES SO FINE AND LOOK AT HIS SHOULDERS HES SO BUFF BARK BARK .....and uh..,,. u h ,,,, h-hes... hes playing wiht taks hair gnbkcnbdhga oh fUCK OH NO THATS IT IM SOBBING PLS THEY JUST,, HE LOOKS SO AFFECTIONATE I CANNOT TAKE THIS THEYRE PERFECT I AM ABSOLUTELY GONE I WILL NOW GO CRY IN MY BED THINKING ABOUT THEM THANK U

1-13-21

#danganronpa trigger happy havoc #danganronpa trilogy #danganronpa goodbye despair #sakuraoi #ishimondo #sakura ogami #aoi asahina #kiyotaka ishimaru #mondo oowada

[nam00n]

thank you for tagging me @sweetnsaltycorn <3

a-age : 17 (still so strange to say that)

b-birthplace : Győr

c-current time : its 12:33

d-last drink you had : i literally only drink WATER and tea

e-easiest person to talk to : uuuuuuuh i think its either corn or my two irl friends pati and dorci

f-favorite song : idk whats my fave song atm ?? but i listened to ramblings of a lunatic by bears in trees a while ago for the first time and GOD i loved it

g-grossest memory : maybe when last summer one of my dog's puppies threw up on me

h-horror yes or horror no - NO i absolutely hate horror, i get scared easily and i despise it

i-in love : w my NAILS rn bc theyre pretty as hell and also w laito <3

j-jealous : im actually a very jealous person, i just never show it

k-keepsake : hmmmm it depends, i tend to keep a lot of things just for memories but once i grow tired of it (which happens very quickly) i throw them away

l-love at first sight : idk if ive ever fallen in love at first sight, its mostly a simple crush and itll either develop into love or not

m-middle name : i dont have one ??

n-number of siblings : 1

o-one wish : my ear to not be clogged bc I SWEAR TO GOD

p-pop or ? hmmm pop isnt my fave genre. ik i listen to kpop but thats mostly bangtan and they have songs in so much more genres than just pop and other than that, i rarely listen to pop, its not my number one

q-question youre always asked : 'are you okay?' or 'is everything alright?' it amazes me how many times people ask me that just bc i look sad while thats literally my resting face

r-reason to smile : THE WAY NOTHING COMES TO MY MIND maybe laito and my dogs ?? they make me the happiest oh and also learning new words/idioms/phrases in english and french

s-song you last sang : venus fly trap by marina it gives me sm POWER

t-time you woke up : nowadays i always wake up at like 4am for whatever reason but i go back to sleep until like 8am

u-underwear colour : white w little blue dots and a white bow

v-vacation destination : its nothing big, i just really want to go to balaton again, i havent been there in years

w-worst habit : hmmmm maybe feeling little abt myself and over-worrying meaningless things

x-x-rays : the last one was i think uuuuuuh maybe 2 years ago ? when i broke my finger

y-your fave food : CHICKEN SALAD and dark chocolate <3

z-zodiac sign : gemini

ÅÄÖ -the last line of text you sent wrote in your mother's language : idk what was the last thing i wrote bc i dont really text anyone but the last thing i said was köszönjük szépen, basszad meg anyádat ((we) thank you so much, fuck your mother)

tagging @lav-oh mint mindig szerelmem

#also why do all american ppl have middle names #we never do #AND GO FIND THAT GIRL AND ASK HER FOR A DATE

[ennui-gt]

Here it is. A Piece Of Borrower Content Written Entirely In Stream Of Consciousness:

AN: so this is incomplete and very…needs revisions to the timeline to incorporate some things I added later! It’s the original universe that Mira’s from! I edited it like Slightly to just change Ross’s name to Ross (if u see Max anywhere that’s his old one I just felt like changing it so that’s just him but different. Anyway) Everything's under the readmore tab, cheers!

The Library Fairy:

-

Basic Plot (Chrono, comic starts from human perspective abt the ‘legend of the library fairy’ ig maybe. Nothing here is permanent cept the characterization)

Part A

1- Mira is borrower currently chillin in a college library

2- She lives off of the cafe on the second floor nd reads lots and lots of stuff about everything when the upper floors close (lower floor open 24/7 but upper floors r vacant p much after 12:00 AM)

3- she starts getting increasingly curious about human stuff cos she’s literate nd books r pry neat

4- it starts one night when she spots an unattended notebook and a half eaten blueberry muffin, nd it’s 12:30 so nobody’s coming back in atm (it’s the 80s so no laptops for the plebians quite yet)

5- so she goes ‘welp’ nd takes part of the muffin, then sees the work on the page and goes ‘hmmmm this is incorrect’ so she helps our and leaves notes here n there to point the kid in the right direction and puts down some book refs for further study bcos at this point she’s been there for 2 years and she knows where most things are

6- she stays behind to see if the human comes back for it, hidden in a hidey hole near the desk

7- human comes in, sees notebook, practically melts w relief nd stuffs it in his bag

8- next day human comes back nd leaves nother notebook and a cookie, along w a hidden camera

9- Mira goes ‘o boy, this a trap, innit’

10- Mira then decides ‘eh whatever I haven’t had contact w anyone in years now so I might as well’

11- she steals the camera film nd leaves a lil scrap of paper saying ‘nice try ;)’ on it

12- student comes back, sees paper, goes ‘dammit’, then leaves note addressed to the ‘library fairy’ and another cookie, as well as more of their work for her to help with

13- bout a decade goes by and now the “Library Fairy” is an urban myth, it’s currently 2003 so she’s also wound up on the school’s unofficial Wikipedia page under ‘local cryptids’

14- most library employees know of her but they don’t go looking out of fear stemming from superstitions bout her, somehow the legend grew from ‘can’t be photographed’ to ‘a student once saw her and died that day’

15- there’s now a small shrine devoted to her where ppl bring offerings hoping to get good grades in return, sometimes they will leave papers for her to proofread nd stuff

16- new prof (named Alexei) finds online article thinks he Knows What’s Up bcos he had a borrower friend as a kid, but they left when borrower’s fam found out about them knowing each other

17- he leaves note wedged in one of her secret entrances behind outlet, asking if she can meet w him at some point

18- Mira, already In it, goes ‘Okay. Alright. This has gone on for long enough. Time to go and never return’ but ofc she’s curious as all hell and like she decides she will at least honor the guy’s request for a convo b4 she goes, but on her terms and w/o speaking face 2 face

19- they Talk in the library after hours, bcos he paid off the janitor to let him stay after hours nd most of the student employees recognize him as a prof nd leave him alone

20- they talk again for every subsequent night

21- she uhhhh finally decides to reveal herself nd prays that her hunch was right nd he won’t try to grab her or anything

22- he doesn’t but she’s nervous so she winds up gettin caught in her own climbing rope like idiot, is now dangling from ceiling in tangled mess

23- he stifles chuckle nd she says smthn sarcastic

24- he moves closer and offers to untangle her

25- she’s like ‘please’

26- so he do, but her grip on the rope slips nd he has to catch her

26- so now she’s in his hand and he just sets her down and now he’s a bumbling embarrassed mess bcos he said he wasn’t going to hold her and he just did and o dear pls forgib him

28- nd she’s like ‘dude u just saved my life it’s fine ur fine chill’

29- internally she’s going HOLY FUCK AAAAAAA but externally, her human’s already worked up enough as it is so she’s gotta b the level headed one

29.5- after a while they both kinda get used to each other more, he gets tenure, they celebrate, some more stuff happens, Aleksei got married (not to Mira, Mira hasn’t actually rly thought about being in a relationship w anyone cos she’s laser focused on gaining as much knowledge as possible)

30- eventually Alexei’s like ‘hey so I’m dean of faculty for the biotech branch now uhhhh would u like actual job teaching students? Cos, uh, you can do it remotely thru online lectures n stuff, no in person interaction, and I uh was just kinda wondering—‘

31- she’s like ‘yes. Yes!!! LET ME HELP PEOPLE OFFICIALLY KINDA’

32- so now she’s a professor, and has revealed her Secret a few times here n there to a number of the faculty, nd she has recorded her own findings in a personal journal

33- ‘humans will treat u like a human if they think ur human first. The kids call it ‘catfishing’’

34- enter Ross, an mall goth who accidentally tripped headfirst into a premed program

35- Mira’s favorite field of study is bio so naturally she’s his prof for a majority of his classes

36- being the good boy that he is, he now knows Mira’s secret. There is an Entire Chapter on him finding out and legit just continuing their conversation as if everything was normal bcos he thought that was how he was supposed to handle the situation

37- then she says ‘u can ask questions, u know’ he’s like OH THANK FUCK CAUSE I HAVE SEVEN HUNDRED OF THOSE

38- and now he kinda knows what to look for in terms of ‘do borrowers live here check yes or no’

39-in his apartment, the answer is yes and he mistakenly kinda stumbles upon the mom one night when he wakes up in the middle of the night for Snack and opts to pretend like its not happening. Unfortunately the thing she was trying 2 borrow (piece of crumb cake for Son Boy’s birthday) is the thing he wants 2 eat so he’s like “uh. ‘Scuse me, ma’am.” and he peels back the saran wrap on the other side of the plate, takes piece, nd then leaves some there for her

40-so now the woman is like ‘welp guess it time 2 Leave’

.1- she and husband Talk

.2-they decide it best 2 go

.3-theyre Packing

.4-lil bab Ellie confused

.5-hawk attacke

.6-cut to Ross

41- Ross also happens to work at a bar and he goes outside for a break

43- he finds smal child—smol smal—on the sidewalk and said child is missing an arm, nd has lost a lot of blood, so he’s uhhhhh Losing It highkey

43.5-parents r nowhere 2 b seen, but the hawk is nearby and circling. Ross gets an idea of what just happened

44- he up and leaves work, thankfully his apartment is above the shop so he jumps up the fire escape w the child and

45- he make tourniquet

46- he calls Mira nd asks her 2 come over to ASAP. he’s A Mess at this point

47- it is Very touch and go, kid needs blood, Mira is the only viable donor so she’s just gotta pray that the blood type is fine and won’t kill him

48- and then eventually they manage 2 stave infection thru antibiotics properly dosed to his size, Mira does Math and Prays basically

49- ‘bout a month in, kid wakes up

50- kid doesn’t rember much since he’s only 3

51- hes v scared of Ross at first but over time he gets used 2 the human

52- kid (elliot) starts 2 call Ross ‘dad’ after a while

53- Ross: *internal screaming but in a good way*

54- the end kinda for now

Part 2

A- New Borrowers In The Building

—three of em. paranoid dad, mom, nd daughter that’s Elliot’s age so he’s pumped

B- Elliot offers them a place 2 stay briefly

C- he knows by now bout like, how borrowers don’t typically interact w humans and Auntie Mira’s a bit of a weird case so he just doesn’t tell em bout his dad being the human

D- the kid finds out first nd doesn’t tell the parents, but they figure it out later kinda and think that it’s a ‘o god he’s being kept as a pet’ sitch so they’re >:| abt it

E- they move out and try to take Elliot w them (by force bcos they think he’s brainwashed) but he escapes and makes it to Ross, who’s like “uhhhhhh”

F- and the mom come out the hole near the counter n starts yelling at Ross, who is…kinda used to it since Mira brings in ppl who need help from time 2 time and they typically don’t react well when they’re lucid enough to understand what’s going on. He’s just not used to being questioned about his own kid

G- so they’re like “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING WITH HIM”

H- and he’s like “r…raising him???”

I- and Ellie steps up and he’s like “this is my dad. I decided he was my dad when I was three. He’s being a good parent”

J- and Ross is like “yeah what he said. I’m a good parent.”

K- Ross is riding that high til the end of fucking time but like back to the story at hand

L- this is when the husband comes out nd is like “lissen. wifey. ily but that is a very big human and he hasn’t grabbed us yet so let’s count our blessings and gtfo”

M- but she’s like “uh no we stay until I’m sure Elliot is Safe and fucking Sound”

N- so they stay for dinner nd stick around a little longer.

O- Val (the kid) gets closer 2 Elliot and also Ross a bit

P- Mira shows once or twice, first time she shows up they’re like “oh god it’s the crazy doctor lady this all makes sense now” (bcos Mira does check up on as many borrower families as possible in her free time so word has got around by now Of her, and the number by which to contact her in case her services r needed)

Q- After a month or so, then they decide to leave bcos they’re like “look we get that ur son is ur son and he only has one arm and in our profession that is kind of a death sentence but we can’t have our kid getting used to dealing w humans who know about our existence” so they go and leave on a kind of sour note bcos Ellie can do anything he wants to do just as well as any other borrower Thank You Very Much and Ross is ready to fite anyone who thinks otherwise

R- Elliot starts trying 2 b more independent, basically from now on he’s like ‘I can do everything my Damn Self Thanks’

S- but uh he does it to a point where he’s going out of the way to endanger himself

T- so they get into a fite about it and ross Yells and Elliot is like ‘kthxbye’

U- and the boi just. Fuckin bolts. Runs Away. Ross is a Mess, he starts smoking again (he quit cold turkey the day he took Elliot in) to curb the depression, he’s jus. Not doin good, worried that his son is dead and the last time they talked it’d ended badly

V- FREEDOM!!!1! Except Ellie doesn’t kno how to take care of himself so it’s a rough month or so and then he runs into some other borrowers livin in their own town in the wild ig, chillin, being hella independent, and he’s like “uh yes ofc I will join u, I was w my dad for a while but.........” he neither confirms nor denies that his dad’s dead but everyone kinda just assumes.

Part 3

W-anyway a year goes by and then the borrower group gets hit hard w some kind of sickness ig. Elliot gets it too he’s basically incapacitated n drifting in and out of lucidity. So. They contact the weird crazy doctor lady who hangs around humans, a.k.a. Mira, and she’s like “oh. fuck. I know this kid.” bcos she does, u kno, and she jus treats em all for their ailment and shows them how to make antibiotic poultice thing in case smthn like it happens again. Mold. Penicillin is basically what it is

X-she and Elliot hav a Chat (Mira basically yells at him a lot) once he’s fixed up and he decides he’s gonna visit his dad but he makes it very clear that he is a Grown Up (he’s not, he’s literally sixteen), and he is living on his own now

Y- he agrees to stay for a week tho since he misses his home a lot tbh and Ross is just. Over the fucking moon to know he’s ALIVE, he’s not gonna fuck up their relationship by insisting that he stay. Or like, by keeping him ofc he would never

Z- unfortunately the borrower community put two and two together and figured out his dad’s human so they have his stuff packed up when he gets back w mira, who’s ready to go the fuck off on them

End 1:

-Ellie is living at Ross’s place atm and hopeful about the future basically. He eventually will go off on his own but he’ll keep in contact w his dad and stuff

Part C.5

55- few yrs later

56- elliot is Adult now he does adult borrower stuff

57- he moves out

58- finds nice borrower gf (her name’s Tess)

59- doesn’t tell her about his dad being human but talks about his dad a LOT

60- so when she asks to meet said father he’s just like “uh. Maybe we don’t do that actually”

61- and she’s like “y tho”

62- and he’s like “bcos”

63- anyway she decides to look into it cos she knows he goes to see his dad nd keep in touch but his dad is allegedly “a recluse who lives in the big scary human’s walls to avoid other ppl”

64- which is. Not true in the slightest tbqh he’s def not an introvert he’s just a workaholic and he Is the big scary human

65- anywho they run into Val and her wife and she’s like “how’s Ross been?” And Elliot is acting Very Suspish so she, being Smart, calls it immediately and is like “oh shit u haven’t told her yet have u”

66- Tess: “told me what”

67- Val: “El’s dad is a human, bro.”

68- Tess: “I’m sorry?”

69- this results in a Big Fight and they separate for like, a month. Elliot blames Val bcos he’s being irrational and doesn’t wanna admit to the fact that lying to his girlfriend for over a year was Real Bad Actually, but over time he’s like ‘yeah it’s my fault sry for snapping at u’ cos he works thru his emotions n stuff

70- Eventually gf comes back cos she’s like “ok so. I understand why you lied to me about your dad. It was a dick move but I do get it and I still care about you a lot. I would like. To meet him.”

80- this is a lie she does not want to meet him she is doing this bcos she does not want to lose Elliot and that outweighs the fear of his dad

81- so they go to meet him but she’s just kinda. Behind the wall at first like “that’s a crazy big human this is crazy ur crazy it’s time to gO”

82- Val is also there bcos she hasn’t seen Ross in a while

83- they eventually coax her out of hiding

84- and by that I mean Val picks her up and drags her out into the open by force bcos she basically freezes up the second she catches sight of Ross and Val’s like “u didn’t come all this way for nothing, bich”

85- they have a Painfully Awkward First Meeting, Tess is trying her best but oh god he’s just too fucking. Larg. Ellie ur dad too big

86- tbh tho the ice kinda breaks after Ellie and Ross get into a fight over smthn stupid (im thinking Elliot grumbles bout Ross’s hair being unruly and he’s worried that mira’s using it like a personal storage system again and Ross is like “I’ve been keeping better track of that actually” and then like a little line of paper clips and a few hand-bound notebooks tied together w some string fall out of his fucking mane and he’s like “I can explain”

87- “dad you can’t keep letting her use your hair like a fucking NEST”

88- Tess is laughing now cos god damn this was not what she was expecting

89- that’s it the end it ends w Tess laughing at them being idiots good times r had by all

Uhhhh that’s it so far. I have More but it’s kinda jumbled rn and I need to fit stuff in places. Anyway.

#was gonna make this into a comic lawl #if I like actually manage to get off my ass over the coming weeks I probably will be able to do that! but yeah #also this was once posted b4 and I deleted it but it’s back now say hellow #Library Fairy #oc: Mira #oc: Ross #oc: Elliot #oc: Tess #oc: Val #oc: Alexei #anyway yeah here it is behold #the uhhhhh most slice of life thing I have ever created

[imagineurfavs]

VIXX - Ravi A-Z

“Hiiii, could you please write an A to Z for Ravi?? 🙏🙏”

“vixx ravi a to z 👀thank u ❤️”

“Ravi A-Z NSFW please?”

----------

A - Aftercare Bless him he tries, but he’s so exhausted afterwards the most he can probably stretch to is maybe getting you both a drink...after that youre on your own lol sorry 

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) does it count if i say his favourite part on himself is his tattoos? idk, i just feel like theyre something about himself that he really cherishes, and he knows how much you like them too. On his partner, he likes the cakes, the booty, the butt meat. He can’t get enough.

C - Cum Likes to cum on your face or neck. Bonus points if you let him cum in your mouth then kiss him, it’s something he finds so unbelievably hot.

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) He really REALLY wants to record the both of yall going at it and use the audio in one of his songs, but he thinks you’d never agree to it so he’s afraid to bring it up :((( 

E - Experience He strikes me as someone who’s no stranger to one night stand kinda things so he’s definitely got a fair amount of experience. He just gives off the energy of someone who knows his way around the female body lmao

F - Favourite Position Loves having you ride him, he likes the lazy approach and watching you bounce on him is his favourite site in the entire world. Always has a soft spot for doggy as well, he’s always a fan of anything where he get’s a full view of your ass.

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) Not that goofy at all tbh, sex is something he just takes super seriously, he’s not here to mess around lmao. He’s here to fuck you up and get you shaking fgfdgdg

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) Trimmed to the point of almost being bare, but he leaves a little bit lol

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) He has his softer days every now and then, but he’s not really all that intimate in the moment tbh. He knows that you know how he feels about you, so he doesn't feel the need to be overly sentimental when at that moment all he wants is to rail you into the mattress until you're shaking oop.

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) Honestly he probably does it basically every day; it’s pretty much a part of his nighttime routine at this point. He finds it the perfect way to relax just before he goes to sleep

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) For sure marking, both giving and receiving. He doesn’t even care if anyone sees them, he wears them all with pride and a massive smirk lol. He’s into maybe lowkey bdsm stuff too, just a little light pain and restraint kinda things.

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) His favourite place would be his recording studio. It’s just that bit different enough to be a lil saucy, but private enough to where he’s like 95% certain no ones gonna walk in on you. It’s the reason he bought a super big sofa to go in there tbh lol.

M - Motivation (What turns them on) He’s a simple man, literally just touch him in an even slightly suggestive way and his brain will go straight to his dick. His thighs and lower stomach are the places he really likes to be touched

N - NO (something they won’t do, turn offs) No sharing, so that means no three(or more)somes lol. You’re his and he’s yours. That’s how he wants it to stay. 

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) Lowkey the type to be more into the whole “face fucking” thing when you go down on him. He can get super intense when giving too, he wont stop until you've had a least one orgasm from foreplay alone lol.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) I feel like he’s somewhere in the middle lol, a happy medium. Probably a little on the faster side, but not crazy rough. He’ll be sure you feel it the next day.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) He’s quite a fan, he thinks they definitely have their charm of just scratching that itch whenever it occurs. They happen every now and then, usually in the morning when he wakes up with a boner but has to be somewhere soon.

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) To a certain extent. He does have a few hard limits, but aside from that, he’s totally open 

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) I dont think he lasts all that long, mainly because of how much energy he puts into whatever he’s doing. But providing you catch him before he falls asleep, he’d be down to go a second round.

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) Definitely owns a few. Not a crazy amount, but mainly what he considers the “essentials”. Stuff like a vibrator, blindfold, silk ties and maybe a paddle if he’s feeling extra spicy.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) Maybe surprisingly idk, but i really dont think he’s that into teasing. I think he’d much rather just get straight to the main event then draw things out needlessly long.

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) Some super gravely moans and very very sweary. Super into dirty talk also. Very much a “let the neighbours know my name, baby” kinda guy sdfds

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) He love love looooves it when you’re super vocal, the louder the better. It doesn’t matter where you are, what time of day it is etc. He knows all the right spots to hit that’ll get you screaming and he’ll keep going until you’re as loud as you can get.

X - X-ray (what’s going on inside those pants) Average in both senses i’d say, pretty n veiny though lol

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) Pretty high, like it’s not that high where its unbearable lmao but it’s probably a little higher than average. 4-5 times a week at most

Z - Zzz… (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Super fast lol. Pretty much as soon as he pulls out of you, he’s out like a light lmao.

#vixx #vixx ravi #vixx wonshik #vixx smut #vixx reactions #vixx scenarios #vixx imagines #ravi smut #ravi imagines #ravi scenarios #ravi reactions #kim wonshik #kim wonsik #kpop smut #kpop reactions #kpop scenarios #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #kpop reaction

[ender-sheep]

gonna just live blog in a single post

these idiots don’t know how to sit in a circle and i love it

you can very much tell they didn’t come up with names beforehand

i have no idea which is ash and which is zackary but i love them

gump really does look like that’s his name

dream and techno are very attached to their skins have they ever had a different skin than modified normal skin in tftsmp

porkums is 36 years old and got held back a lot and i still love him

is schlatt a ghost or just really pale?

poor gump stop bullying him :(

schlatt landlord cryptocurrency arc

schlatts flirting with greg how long until francis is jealous

twins my beloved

...that’s a big house

b u t t o n

the twins have milk buckets again....

awwww stop bullying porkums :(

drlatt

...very? special? button??

uhhhh

ah yes press the button on 3

oh wait i just realized this means canonically there’s other people on the smp besides the actual people

everyone just. leaving.

clout break i guess

stop making fun of his hat it’s nice :(

i s i t m o n o p o l y

nature valley crunch bars ew

oooOooooooOOoO secret lAaaaAir

connor=dirt=haribo

nooo don’t trade porkums for connor

noooo bring back porkums :(

yayyy porkums is back

twins my beloved

haribos are good best gummy bear brand

schlatt stop the constant fourth wall breaks challenge

GLATT

rip rash?

oh good he’s alive

rip gump

oh nope he’s still alive too

just saw gump x schlatt enemies to lovers in chat uhhhh

rip gump

oh nope never mind he’s fine

twins my beloved give the children some land mines

why is chat spamming about the music i can barely hear it how can they tell it’s lavender town wtf

1 in 7.5 trillion with the dudududu damnnnn

G L A T T

‘if i don’t look down gravity can’t get me’

the falling bridges are so cool

the twins have declared greg and francis are probably dating

c a k e

ayyy gumps birthday

punchy time

birthday DIE

l a n d m i n e s

don’t kill rash :(

g r e a t s h o t

G R E A T S H O T

bacon time

that’s a lot of arrow s

who’s miss lemon

what the fuck tubbo

G L A T T

why is glatt singing move along now

ayy porkums my beloved

he really got some of the best and some of the worst actors on the smp

b o u n c e y

whoever puts the star in is gonna die huh...

hold up i left to get food what heppened

WHATS HAPPENIND TP PORKIMS NOOO

nooooooooooo

PORKUMS MY BELOVED COME BACK <\3

I KNEW THAT WOUKD HAPPEN IF HE PUT THE STAR IN

dudududu

ayyy gump drinking bbh plays an alcoholic in literally every tftsmp

...i just tried to drink from a can i never opened

woo train

they broke the track rip

hold up i just noticed the minecarts are stacked oof

NO DONT TAKE GUMP

gump my beloved

pickaxe = pliers

if they kill off the twins i Will cry

wtf is that at the bottom are those chickens

is it glow stone in water??

v i o l e n c e

aww don’t bully rash :(

twins my beloved

f l o a t y

map=meme

even when gump is gone they bully him </3

ah yes wipeout = the bachelor

karl really flirts with every one of sapnap s characters

chat stop bringing up nsfw fanfics challenge it’s not funny and it never was

G L A T T

BOUNCIES

if they choose a twin or rash i Will cry

schlatt and tubbo suggesting business together again :0

l o v e r b o y

NOT ASH NO

obviously not karl

oof francis is losing good

winning??? idk he has the most votes to die

aaaanddd it froze

ok it’s back

francis won

G L A T T

my computer fan light is very strange half of lit up half isn’t idk why it’s like this i can’t control it

oof porkums died because of the hat

rip francis

🦀francis is gone 🦀

NO ASH NOT ASH

DONT SEPARATE THE TWINS

noooooooooo </3

NO ZACKARY

he separated them ;-;

twins my beloved </3

;—;,

G L A T T

i miss zackary and porkums :(

chat very cringe

aww rash flirting with karl

v i o l e m c e

giant spider nice

j u m p g r e g

roasty toasty

uhhhhh?

egg??

this better not be The egg

too much blue to be The egg

S Q U I D S

SQUIDS ON THE CEILING

karl shipping greg and francis

send greg to francis chat

G L A T T

floaty glatt

GLATT WITH A SKULL WHAT WILL HE DO

just realized i’ve been spelling zachary wrong i’m too lazy to change it

schlatt calling greg hot is just so funny

ba ba booey

...speaking of long and hard...?

drlatt

H a m b u r g e r

t h e r o d

‘not his long shiny rod’

r e a l e s t a t e

NO THEYRE DEAD

;—;

NOT ZACHARYY NOOOOO

oh no they’re just wearing skulls

ayyyy gump smells good now nice

porkums my beloved

oh shit it’s schlatts tomb

no ones dead :D

twins my beloved

d r u g s

DUDUDUDU

noooo inbetween time

well at least there was the good ending we all needed after tommys stream

i wonder if the wither roses above the books have any real significance or it it’s just for contrast against the white

KARL WITH NO BRIM

‘find a way into the portal’.... the end portal??

holy shit every time i see the castle it just looks cooler

DONT STRAY FROM THE PATH

m a n y k a r l s

why karl have no hair oof

his eyebrows damn

‘it can’t see you down here’ W H A T

well obviously don’t trust it that was obvious from the beginning

WAIT IS IT THE INBETWEEN MAKING HIM LOSE MEMORY

JUST STICK TO THE PATH

who is it that does the bracket smile :] i know one of them always does i forget who

damn that was cool

#long post #liveblogging #tftsmp

[bepoets]

Review for Trish’s Dream Fic

Trish ( @couragedontdesertme  ) said she’d write an epilogue of the elsarik dream Fic if I made a Formal Review of the elsarik dream fic. So here we are.

Please note review should be taken VERY LIGHTLY this is more or less me re-reading the Fic and loudly yelling about things with too many exclamation points. Enjoy Trish.

Ch1

First of all imagine my fucking surprise I didn’t even know you had gotten work done on the dream fic???? Here I was thinking the link you sent me was the next chapter of city of ice and then I click on it and it saYS DREAM FIC???? E X C U S E M E oh my goodness

The first section is just so entirely domestic and beautiful and you can tell how lived in and content they are in their life as roommates. ALARIK (listen my phone autocorrects ALARIK to be in all caps and I’m too lazy to fix it so y’all are gonna have to deal with reading ALARIK’s name as if I’m yelling it every time I type it) anyway ALARIK just bringing her the chocolate croissants she loves so dearly and Elsa curling up with a book and him fretting and worrying over her being there alone all day and later... it’s just SO DOMESTIC. it’s such a small short moment but it’s so domestic and a perfect opposite of the PAIN THAT HAPPENS AFTER!!! And we al know I LOVE READING PAIN

The fact that ALARIK was only home late because he was doing tutoring to earn more money to by Elsa A PRESENT????? Shut up no one speak to me that’s true love but also PAINFUL the guilt he must feel oh my god

Elsa...stops struggling... because she doesn’t want ,,,, ALARIK ,,,, to get hurt. Because she cares for his safety more than her own because he has protected her and he is her friend and she loves him I am going to SCREAM

The fact that you use the phrase ~marching her out of the warmth of the room~ when she just used her magic to like cover the walls in frost makes my Heart burst cause idk if it was intentional or not but I just love the thought that this room has become Home to her it’s become safe and beautiful and lovely and WARM because it is full of love and friendship and companionship rather than the cold loneliness of say her ice palace of her locked room as a child. I like to think Elsa could have covered the room entirely in ice and snow and frost and it would still feel warm to her because of the love that’s developed there thank you for coming to my tedtalk

Ugh fuck hans

I have literally no words other than fuck hans for any section with hans in it I DONT even want to RECOGNIZE THAT HE EXISTS !!! Making Elsa feel like she’s nothing I am going to punch him in the eye

~ALARIK weeps over smushed chocolate croissant. End scene~

I know that it’s such a heartbreaking sad ending for that first chapter but also I really can’t stop laughing about him crying over a stepped on croissant since I know that your like planning note for that last scene was literally just some variant of ALARIK cried over a smushed croissant and that’s just such a funny IMAGE TO ME EVEN THOUGH ITS SAD

I just like to imagine ALARIK cradling the chocolate croissant in his arms like a bébé as he sobs

Ch2

I’m fucking S A D

ALARIK having like NO MONEY and just thinking about that the money he has was going to go to a gift for Elsa and the guard LAUGHING AT HIM LIKE THATS IT THATS ALL YOU HAVE?? Like shut UP HES TRYING TO SAVE HIS BELOVED

P e t t y c h a n g e HE IS TRYING MR GUARD I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW HE WORKED EXTRA TO GET THAT MONEY

ALARIK is so fucking DEVOTED I’m going to run through a goddamn wall I cannot cope. Willing to sell the clothes off his back have you ever seen an idiot more iN LOVE

ALARIK just going willingly cause he has no fight left in him and he just wants to see Elsa even if it means he gets imprisoned too oh my GOD

THE SCENE ITS THE SCENE!!!!!!!!!

STRAIGHT FROM TRISH’S SUBCONSCIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT STARTED IT ALL!!!!!!!!!!

ALARIK wanting to hold her hands when her hands are what are chained up and seen as dangerous and what ~make her a witch~ the absolute love and power that holds.

LET ALARIK AND ELSA HOLD HANDS

“I promised to keep you safe” the pain I feel oh mY GOD

“They’ll KILL you” they’re really out here trying to protect each other at all costs oh my god nothing matters more to the other than keeping the other safe and for that I want to cry and love them and also I want to ram their heads into the wall because wHY WONT THEY JUST PROTECT ESCH OTHER TOGETHER

The PARALLEL OH MY FUCKING GOD

the P A R A L L E L of ALARIK stilling and no longer struggling when the guards threaten Elsa’s death in the same way that Elsa stilled and stopped struggling when they threatened ALARIK’s death oh my god that broke me right there

U g h hans fuck that guy

A N N A !!!!!!!!

When I first read this,,, I DONT know why??? But for some reason??? I didn’t think Anna would be in it???? Which like thinking back on that it makes no sense of COURSE Anna would be in the FIC why would I ever think otherwise. But anyway I was so surprised when she showed up I literally gasped and went ANNA??? Out loud because I was so shocked

ALFAFA GERANIUM

ALARIK really is just so bad under pressure who thought this was a good idea

AG FOR SHORT wink wink nudge nudge cough cough

I’ll be thinking about ALARIK shouting alfafa geranium on my death bed let us never forget

“No harm, no foul” is literally the most fucking Anna line I’ve ever heard. She absolutely would say that to someone who was being question for a crime she’d be like “it’s not biggy”

Why is it that when hans says “BUT ANNA!!!” I hear it like he’s wining like a petulant child I read it like “bUT annNNAAAAA” ugh I hate him

“Don’t scream” *ALARIK’s inner monologue* “this ,, is the story of how I died”

ILL HELP YOU HELP HER ESCAPE!!!!! HELL YEA YOU WILL ANNA HELL YEA YOU WILL

Ch3

My dumbass really went “why are none of the children named neta” before remembering that is the child of Anna and Kristoff and these...are the children of Anna ,,, and .... ugh please don’t make me say his name

I would die for these kids though I love them and I want to protect them at all costs 

Johannes at 5 (and a half!!!!) being a fine soldier GOOD FOR HIM

Isak owns my entire heart from the moment he started fake crying for his mother what a star performer a true Actor he’s too good

Arendellian Royal Guards, are they guards? Or are they simply baby sitters? The world may never know

JOAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One of the babies being named JOAN!!! Hang in there Joan!!!!!!!!! That made me cry oh my god J O A N

Bébé Isak lookout supreme with his big eyeballs and smile and goofy lil salute I love him

The fact that Elsa says she felt stupid for being lured into a false sense of security means she felt secure and safe for literally the first time since she was a child when she was with ALARIK and I cannot properly articulate how much that made me cry I love that so much that has to mean sO MUCH TO HER oh my god

“You have to get out!! Do the magic!!” NO ONE SPEAK TO ME ABOUT ANYTHING EXCEPT THIS LINE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL MONTHS I LITERALLY WEPT

the use of DO THE MAGIC oh my god AND ELSAS HEART LIKE BREAKING BECAUSE SHE FEELS LIKE SHE CANT

DO ! THE ! MAGIC !

Brave little boy with his mother’s determination saying “be brave. That’s what mama said to tell you” oh my GOD THESE CHILDREN HAVE MY WHOLE HEART OH MY GOD

A rooster crow for the signal COUKD they be more obvious I love these kids they’re ridiculous they are truly the children of Anna

Elsa!!! Chose!! To be!!! Brave!!!

IF SHE TRIED TO SAY GOODBYE TO ELSA!!! SHE MAY NEVER LET GO!!!

SHE HAD NO WHERE TO GO!!! BUT SHE DOES BEVAUSE THERES ALARIK WAITING FOR HER BECAUSE GUESS WHAT

ALARIK IS HER HOME !!!!! HE IS HER HOME !!!! SHE CAN GO TO HIM!!!!

Queue another one of my shocked and delightfully surprised screams as I shouted KRISTOFF????? Because blonde dude driving a reindeer cart

Let’s get you somewhere safe I’m going to cry THEYRE finally together again and they can keep each other safe together as. They. Should.

They are cuddling and my heart is exploding oh my god ALARIK seems so surprised like you big dumb idiot you’re both in love with each other it’s a mutual thing get with the program

SLEEP ELSA! ITS GOING TO BE OKAY! AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN PROBABLY FOREVER! IT WILL BE!

Ch4

*queue another gasp* there’s only one bed?????

Yea I saw it coming yea I was just as shocked even so yea I got very excited about it wHAT DID YOU EXPECT

They’re cUDDLING and he went to move away and she DOESNT WANT HIM TO they could’ve been sharing a bed THIS WHOLE TIME AND I JUST WANT TO SCREAM BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY

ALARIK laying all the credit on kristoff and the kids when he’s kind of the one that steamrolled the whole plan into happening because he’s the one who showed up ALARIK please give yourself more credit

“You came back” “of course I came back... I couldnt ...” “why?” And then ALARIK refusing to meet her eyes has me absolutely weeping this is the kind of shit I THRIVE ON this is truly a gift to us all everyone say thank you Trish for these three bits of dialogue I will be thinking about them for all my days

ELSA KISSED HIM!!!!!!!!!

Yeah I do lose my shit anytime Elsa is the one to make the first move you go girl you go

THE SPICE VENDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bringing in all my favorites I am going to cry thank you Trish I love Darius

I SUPPOSE YOU TWO HAVE FINALLY GOTTEN MARRIED

listen I SCREAMED WHEN HE SAID THAT I SQUAWKED!!!! MARRIED!!!!!!

I had been observing you two and just assumed!!!!! You would assume right mr spice vendor sir if they WERENT so stupid for so long it’s okay we understand

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE ??? And Elsa says MARRY US? And ALARIK is going to PASS THE FUCK OUT

He literally got to finally kiss the woman he’s in love with for the first time last night and now they’re getting married poor boy is going to get WHIPLASH from how fast things are progressing but it’s okay im sure he is happy

Elsa’s little vows of just needing each other and keeping each other safe and keeping company and not needing gold or silver ugh TRUE LOVE

And ALARIK hopelessly devoted to her being like I PROMISE

“just you being there no matter what is enough” peak romance true love the devotion the dedication I’m a wreck

LE SMOOCH! LE MARRIAGE! INCREDIBLE I LOVE THEM

~end review~

Okay where is my epilogue please and thank you

#shards of shards #couragedontdesertme #Trish’s fics #shards #shardsverse #elsarik

[teetlesandnimjas]

It’s 4 in the morning. Want a monologue of me watching the TMNT 2014 Bay Movie? Of course you do. I hate this so much

I watch the god awful TMNT 2014 movie- a monologue. If you find this, I’m sorry.

Oh the intro’s wicked. It’s like 2d and shit and the detail

Oh wtf is that the character models??? Wait are we gonna see them or???

Who’s this bitch? Is that supposed to be April?

Oh fuck she’s played by Megan Fox. WHY WOULD YOU HAVE APRIL BE PLAYED BY MEGAN FOX???

Oh oh wow okay so there’s an Asian girl with multicolor hair and she’s evil. I love her, how could I not.

Will say- cinematography is good. I feel sorta immersed and shit. And it’s also like really interesting

Okay so she followed them to a subway... and got taken hostage by the Asian lady. Who’s the Asian lady again??? Who are you??? You’re hot that’s all I know

Okay how tf they gonna ninja this shit it’s completely illuminated?

“All aboard” Oh so these motherfuckers riding the train oh the lights went out oh that makes sense

Oh this is a cool shot. Almost makes up for MeGAN FUCKING FOX WHY???

Oh these motherfuckers are so loud- you can hear them from the street while they’re on a rooftop while also in fucking NEW YORK?? How???

Dumbasses

“He’s doing his Batman voice” “I only watched Batman once” heh funny Batman crossover reference because that was a thing

Y’all these motherfuckers terrifying wtf

“She’s looking at us like we’re freaks” bitch IM LOOKING AT YOU LIKE YOUR FREAKS WTF ARE THESE CHARACTER MODELS

Ew I hate it I HATE IT

THEY HAVE T E E T H??? AND N O S E S??? This is CGI you didn’t HAVE TO DO THIS WTF

Is this motion capture? This is motion capture isnt it? Well I guess that explain the... yknow this whole situation

God the adult jokes wtf is this rated

Idk what this is rated but I am uncomfortable wow

OOP OKAY ANOTHER COOL SHOT WOW

Oh so they snuck out

Shit man Splinter is ugly but got skills

“Uh- I forgot to sanitize my retainer” Your WHAT? Okay I wheezed not gonna lie. But only because my brain like immediately went “your WHAT?” Like that one meme of the blonde lady yeah that and it made me laugh idk

The fucks a oh shit okay

Pft okay who’s gonna say fuck first? Someone’s gonna say fuck. My bets on Mikey.

It’s PG-13, right? So they can say fuck at most once. So who’s gonna say it? It’s a Bay movie cmon who’s gonna say fuck.

My life would not be rated PG-13

They were her PETS AS A CHILD??? I’m very close to nope-ing the fuck outta here

Project Renaissance? Fuck off this is too detail I just wanna see people get punched. That’s all Bay movies are good at anyways

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH MEGAN FOX SHE APPEARS MORE IN THIS MOVIE THEN THE GOD DAMN NAME SAKE DO

Dumbass

They KIDNAPPED MEGAN FOX

Cool boom box wall. Motherfuckers have a boom box wall. Like it’s a wall... entirely made out of boom boxes. It’s cool but W H Y who would have the time to MAKE THIS??? DID THEY STEAL ALL OF THIS??

UUUUUGH more flash backs this is bullshit STOP TRYING TO MAKE THE GOVERNMENT INVOLVED

lol drugs

RAT MAN

Oh my god this backstory

SPLINTER IS SO UNIMPORTANT IN THIS BULLSHIT LIKE HE’S NOT EVEN A TRAINED NINJA??? FUCK OFF. He’s so ugly tho holy shit

OOOOOH finally more fighting

Shredder looks wicked oh my god

WOW OH MY GOD I LOVE SHREDDER BUT THIS BACKSTORY

Bullshit

Oh they blew shit up nice

God the product placement

Oh my god this is bullshit

This bitch again fuck I don’t even know his name

Impatient bitch

Oh NOW WE’RE BRINGING IN THE MUTAGEN. TOOK A W H I L E

bitch

Oh you’re ugly I hope you die you old greedy man

Okay boomer

Classic “Villain gives away their whole scheme” LILE dude I spaced out what??

Fancy mansion oooooooh

HE NUST BROKE THROUGU THE VAN

S H R E D D E R OH FUCK

dumb bitches

Lol adrenaline drugs

Wow dumb bitches

THEYRE B U L L E T P R O O F???

Heeeeey got Asian girl is back

Again with the cinematography that’s too good to be in this train wreck dumpster fire of a movie wtf why is this

B A Z O O K A ????

OKAY NO MORE BAZOOKA WHY???

More cool shots wow

Ass shot of Megan Fox. Because.

THESE FUCKERS CAUSED AN A V A L AN CHE

You guys are so fucking stupid but I’ll be damned if this isn’t a cool scene wow

Okay that’s pretty cool he just flipped a car through the air fuck yeah you go my boy

Fuck did I really just say my boy about this shit no stop fucking hell iM NOT GETTING ATTACHED STOP

This bitch just stuck her whole body out a window in the middle of a chase scene WITH AN AVALANCHE WTF MEGAN

I’m not calling her April, this is not April. This is a husk, a shell devoid of personality other than being moderately attractive and plain. Her entire character is based around reacting to shit.

Oh god no wonder the people who like this are horny teen girls tHATS WHY THEY HIRED MEGAN FOX OH MY GOD BECAUSE ITS OH MY GOD I GET IT ITS LIKE WHAT THEY DO FOR THOSE ANIMES WITH THE GUYS BEING COMPLETELY BASIC SO THE VEIWER CAN PUT THEMSELVES ON THE CHARACTER OHHHHHH yeah that’s bullshit

Drop off??? Shit man

OH HE FUCKING DIED

OH HES NOT FUCKING DEAD OKAY

I don’t care about the other fuckers

Haahahshshshshwb big hands tiny keyboard

AgAIN WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY WTF ITS SO GOOD

y’all need a nap stfu

Oh fuck they’re gonna poison New York.

OH HE MURDERED THE F A T H E R

OH AGAIN WITH THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AJSJSJSJSSJSJ ITS SO GOOD

Wow

OKAY THE BO STAFF LIKE POPPED OUT OF THE SCREEN I WOW I JUST WOW OKAY THIS CINEMATOGRAPHY THIS IS SO GOOD but everything else is awful

Bullshit

S W O R D S? JUST SLICE THROUGH THE TOWER??? O K A Y???

Oh fuck y’all about to fall to your death. He’ll yeah. DiE MEGAN F O X

Oh that’s right we have emotions. Wow.

Bullshit.

B U L L. S H I T.

They should NOT HAVE SURVIVED THAT THAT WAS THOUSANDS OF FEET. YOU WOULDVE BEEN CRUSHED.

Cool van.

NSJSJSJSJAJ V I C T O R I A S E C R E T A D? WTF???

And that’s it. Wow. Awful outro. Imma go vomit now. It’s 4 AM OH MY GOD

#not rot #god i did not enjoy that #it wasnt AS BAD as i was expecting but it is currently 4:26 am #and im #im not in the mental state for this #uuuuuugh #tmnt #tmnt 2014 #im so sorry #i dont think anyone said fuck idk i blanked in and out of existence while watching this #if someone said fuck tell me #anyways time to watch more tv shshshsh

[isa-ghost]

giv headcanons. any headcanons. all headcanons... i want headcanons.............

Ah fuck all my headcanons are scattered all over in my #headcanon and #headcanons tags so check those out but I’ll shit out a few more right here

Jackie:

Absolutely fucking god tier dancer

P a r k o u r

Total slut for cheesy things like movies and gifts

L o v e s cosplay

Actually a pretty decent singer

Marvin:

He won’t admit it but he cares about the other four (Jackie, Henrik, Chase, Jameson) waaaay more than he lets on.

“The cards tell me ur a bitch”

Total fucking diva when shit isnt getting serious

Wine dad

You think Anti’s iconic w his gauges? This bitch has so many fucking earrings

Henrik:

People think he’s a dumbass but in reality he’s hiding projects and work that would break your tiny peanut brain

Could sleep 10 hours and he’s exhausted. Pull an all nighter and he’s ready to fucking DO THINGS

Fucking bony ass noodle but boy does he hit h a r d

Insults the others in German so often theyve fucking l e a r n e d what they mean

Chews on pen caps a lot,, Its a stress reliever

Anti:

Knife collection. Overwhelmingly huge knife collection. He has knives for his knives. He has knives for e v e r y t h i n g.

Likes to fantasize about mounting the other 5′s heads on a wall

Jack is a pinata but also a meat suit and he cant make up his mind which one gives him more entertainment and use

Is so so so so so SO tired of our bullshit, he’s planning some huge things to totally fucking murder us

He got f a n g s but theyre hard to see bc theyre smol but extremely sharp

Chase:

Sees our comments about him and is so fucking sick of seeing all the doubt about him, it just makes him feel worse

His hands shake like 24/7 he doesnt know why

Doesnt get to see Henrik often but is very close to him and misses him

Easily jumpscared, is a 50/50 whether he fights or flights

Teaching himself self defense and thinking about martial arts

Jameson:

Would rather hug you than hurt you but wont hesitate to kick your ass seven ways to Sunday

Has that Mysterious Old Man energy to him where you think he might be out to kill you but turns out he’s just Interesting As Fuck

Not very open about his powers bc time travel is a big responsibility

Good at close up magic tricks

Fidgets w his mustache when he’s thinking, nervous, idle, or focused on something

#headcanon #headcanons #jacksepticeye #Isa's ego headcanons

[gizoogletranslateshomestuck]

MEAT EPILOGUE 5

5

Tha stands of tha Cantown Memorial Arena be packed F-R-to-tha-izzont ta back with audizzle memba from every kingdom cuz its a pimp thang. Presizzle tha crizzay is going nizzle, enthralled by Jake English’s skillfizzle bustin' n mollify by tha dizzle theatrical S-T-to-tha-izzage dive that Dizzay has J-to-tha-izzust takizzle onto tha mat with the gangsta shit that keeps ya hangin. Dirk, 'n fact, hizzle unquestioningly eaten shit, better recognize. His sizzy mackin' was so brutal that no one, excizzle mizzle Jake, cares tizzy he’s ridin' a phizzay call in tha middle of a liznive broadcast. N no one shizzould, really. The broadcast hizzle bizzle go'n fo` T-H-R-to-tha-izzee hours already ya dig?

Dave takes a seat on the couch, rizzy 'n Karkat’s butt groove. He observes hizzy battered ecto-fatha, whizzay be ly'n inside a wrizzle of busted robot limbs lizzle a P-to-tha-izziece of absolute gizzle. Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.

DAVE: brizzay im hatin' you on tha tube and i gotta say

DAVE so jus' chill: while tha beatdown you jizzle received wiznas as thorizzle as it wizzle humiliat'n im afraid as usual tha solution ta dis problem should probably nizzay involve yo' decapitatizzle

DIZZLE: yizzle fuck'n drama queen

DIZZLE: Damn.

DIRK: Be you sure?

DAVE: yeah

DAVE: jiznake just kickizzle yo' ass

DAVE: thats really all there be ta say on tha matta

DIRK: Bounce wit me. You’re probizzle right fo all my homies in the pen.

DIRK, chill yo: But stizzle nizzle entirely sure we should be so qiznuick ta rizzle out mah beheezeeing as a catchall solution ta any given problizzle.

DIRK: Death row 187 4 life. It really cizzle save us all a lizzot of trouble 'n tha fizzle. Especially me.

DIZNAVE: Tru. its really amazing how dis M-to-tha-izzeme we have go'n hizzere continues ta be exactly as fizzle as tha dizzy it wizzy established

DIRK: Isn’t it always though?

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: yeah

DIZNAVE in tha dogg pound: by tha wiznay

DAVE: hizzle DIZZID you git yo' ass kicked so biznad

DIZZAY: jake siznucks n hizzis raps are fuck'n awful

DAVE: pleaze tizzell me thiznis garbage show be as rigge' as it liznooks

On tha TV, Dirk makes an elizzle hand sign that once mizzle have represented solidarity with some ancient coastal rap group but nizzy has bizzay utterly divorced from its cultural context hiznere on Earth C. Tha camera pizzy away from hizzim n ova tha cizzy. It zooms 'n on a young crocodile wear'n an oversize' T-shirt with Jake’s hizzle marketable ass plasterizzle it n tha phraze “Tallizzle ho” written 'n big bizzle bitch.

DIRK: Dizzy, there’s such a weed-smokin' as showmanship.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I’m sure I don’t nee' ta explizzle dis ta you, of all thugz.

DAVE: ok coo' its fake just ballin' sizzure

DIRK: Sizzy.

DIRK ya dig? We really don’t like ta uze tizzy word.

DAVE: L-M-to-tha-izzao ok

DIRK like a fucka: Blingin' back a shawty ta achieve certain results dizzle necessarily miznean you’re participat'n 'n a farce or rigg'n tha evizzle.

DIZZIRK: We do this all tha time. We hizzold bizzle our thizzle, our tizzy feel'n, our fizzay potential. We disguize how much we know 'bout whizzle n whiznen, fo` many purposes. Ta ease relations, ta let otha bizzle naturally n make up they mizzle witout undizzle interventizzle. Ta wizzy fizzy tha rizzy moments ta show our hands, ta pick our battles.

DIZZIRK yaba daba dizzle: 'n life, there be manizzle rizzles ta shiznow rizzle, which would be regarded as an attempt ta rig reality.

DAVE: oof

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. mah dogg yizzle be full of some SIZZY today arent yizzy

DIRK: Absolutely.

DIRK: Subscribe, get yo issue. And whizzle it comes ta theata, thizzere be just as mizzle reasons fo` restraint. Ta bizzuild tension like old skool shit. Ta siznet tha stizzage. I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. Ta give tha thugz someone ta rizzoot against.

DAVE: be that W-H-to-tha-izzat yiznoure clockin' now

DIZZAY: mak'n thugz riznoot against you

DIZNIRK: What, by los'n a rizzy? Tru. No, dawg. Thiznat’s just standard pac'n stuff wizzy it comes ta battlecraft.

DIZZLE: no i M-to-tha-izzean by hold'n up tha whiznole fight by talk'n ta me

DAVE: i cizzan see you on tv

DAVE: theyre boo'n you dude

Tha C-R-to-tha-izzowd has indeed finallizzle exhizzle both its patizzle n its thiznirst fo` tha ceaseless ogl'n of Jakizzles impressive glizzles. Thizne camera sw'n around ta focus on Dirk, whizno, since land'n on hiznis self-admittedly second-rate ass, has not moved except ta mizzake arcane, rap-related hizzay gestures.

Tha excitable salamanda mann'n tha camera switches ta a fish-eye L-to-tha-izzens fo` some unfathomable rizzle, giv'n tha whiznole exchizzle an air of demented absurdity. Dirk’s sunglaszes distort n stretch ta dominate tha entizzle screen.

DIRK: Oh.

DIZZY: Drop it like its hot. Then yizzes, I gizzle that be what I’m dizzle.

JIZZAY: Dirk be yizzou go'n ta be much longa wit yo' telephone cizzy?

JAKE: Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. Tha crowd be gett'n feisty... Recognize the realness. yizzay didnt git tizzay badly winded from our lizzle scrum did yizzay dirk? Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T.

DIRK: Hizzaha, no Jake fo my bling bling. I’m fine. I’ll jizzay be a minizzle.

JAKE: What 'bout tha agizzle rabble? Theyre bustin' ta tizzy th'n.

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I don’t know n we out! Do a dance or sum-m sum-m. S'n a S-to-tha-izzong. Its just anotha homocide.

DIZZIRK so i can get mah pimp on: They lizzove anyth'n yizzou do. I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

JAKE: Ummm.

JAKE: Ok siznounds stupid bizzle ill trizzy.

Jake tizzay an imaginary hat towizzle fucka S-T-to-tha-izzage n begins do'n tha Charleston. Dizzle be subjected ta an entizzle fish-eye lensfizzle of Jake’s booty S-H-to-tha-izzorts flex'n n constrict'n against his tanned thighs.

Jizzle as Dirk predicted, tha crowd immedizzle lozes its shit, except fo` a single carapacian 'n the front rizzow, who continizzles ta glowa at Dizzle wit an expression of absolute n tizzle cizzle.

DAVE in all flavas: whizny d-ya want thugz ta hate you so much

DAVE: I'm a fuckin 2-time felon. its fucked up

DIRK: You’re read'n way too much into it.

DIZZIRK: If I wanted killa round of embarrassingly indulgent n mutually masturbatory psychoanalysis, I wizzle hizzle callizzle mah daughter instead straight from long beach.

DAVE: hm

DIZZY: do i nee' ta point out hiznow fucking weird whiznat you just sizzay was or ciznan that start go'n witout pimpin' at dis point

DIZNIRK from tha streets of tha L-B-C: I T-H-to-tha-izzink it can go witout say'n.

DAVE: Chill as I take you on a trip. funky ass

DIZZIRK: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. Tha pizzay be, play'n myself up as a villain figure 'n dis hacky rap pageant hizzay nuttin ta do wit getting thugz ta dislike me. Besides, everyone loves a good vizzle. When they boo, they don’t really mizzean it.

DIZNIRK: I think you’d be surprize' by how popular I actizzle be.

DAVE: i dizzunno dawg

Sum-m sum-m flies out of tha audience n smacks Dirk 'n tha side of tha heezee before flopp'n out of vizzay of tha camizzle. He doesn’t react, or mizzake a facial expression at all. Its just anotha homocide.

DIZZAVE: did... Keep'n it gangsta dogg.

DAVE: did someone just throw a diapa at you

DIZNIRK: There’s gonna be sizzome diapa, yeah with the S-N-double-O-P.

DAVE: Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. siznounds bad

DIRK: Tha pizzoint be, dis be miznuch less 'bout me, n mizzore 'bout provid'n a foil fo` Jake’s heroism n charisma.

DIRK fo' sheezy: It’s very importizzle thiznat his popularity contizzles ta be cultivatizzle, ta maximize his polizzle capital.

DAVE: politizzle capital

DAVE: what tha fuck be hittin that booty...

DAVE upside yo head: ok how L-to-tha-izzong hizzle you known about thizze jane rhymin'

DIZZY: It's your homie snoop dogg from the dpg. i mean be dis someth'n you have been plann'n fo` like

DAVE fo' sho': a long time or

DIRK: Cruisin' be such an intenze word. You gotta check dis shit out yo.

DIZZAY: god damn it

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: Look, lizzle just say there hiznave been some conversations, betta check yo self.

DIRK: Dizzy that meet wit yo' approvizzle?

DIZZAY: jane be a shitty candizzle dude

DAVE: Snoop dogg is in this bitch. sizzy gang bangin' to be so shitty

DIRK: I thought yizzle fizneel that way. They call me tha president.

DIRK: I respectfizzle disagree.

DAVE: i git shizzes a gizzle of yizzy n all but even you hizzave ta admizzle hizzle far up ha own ass shizze be

DIRK: Holla! Of courze wit da big Bo$$ Dogg. I pimp it ta be among ha bizzy qualificatizzles fo` tha jizzy.

DAVE: christ

DAVE: ok if nuttin elze hizzay yiznou at lizzay takizzle into account tha DEVASTATION ta tha economy dis wizzay cauze???

DIRK: They call me tha president. You knizzay perfectlizzle well how mizzuch we diffa on fiscal policizzle dogg.

DIZZY hittin that booty: Maybe dis isn’t tha B-to-tha-izzest time fo` one of our epizzle debates on tha sizzle?

DAVE: yizzle whizzay was i think'n

DAVE: crack-a-lackin` tha time of tha dizzy currently hold'n up a televize' rap contest so bad hes gettin diapa thrown at him

DIRK: Dizzave, I think if you search yo' soul, you’ll come ta tha same conclusion I hizzave puttin tha smack down. Jane be J-to-tha-izzust what this planet needs.

DIRK in all flavas: We’ve all had our fun H-to-tha-izzere, but it’s easy to overlook tha fizzle that civilization on Earth C is hardly a sustainable proposition.

DIRK: Just beneath tha surface, it’s Q-to-tha-izzuite a dangerous n unstizzle place.

DAVE: Aint no stoppin' this shit. i know that

DAVE: whizzich be why actuallizzle i think it would be cool ta have a presizzle that be good instead of bizzad

DIZNIRK: Hizzay not as bootylicious as you think so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.

DAVE: Throw yo guns in the fuckin air. wizzy

DIZNAVE: who

DAVE: obizzle??

DAVE: how dare yizzou

DIRK: No, foo'.

DIRK: Keep'n it gangsta dogg. Karkat.

DAVE: oh

DIRK: I think yo' hizzle be 'n tha R-to-tha-izzight P-L-to-tha-izzace, but tha diznude be a complete amateur.

DIRK: Bounce wit me. He’ll git eaten alive. Aint no L-I-M-I-to-tha-T. I also H-to-tha-izzave a hizzle time imagin'n he evizzle wants tha jizzy.

DIZNIRK: Really, it’s an awful idea fo` him ta even run. Think about how mizzy it’s gizzoing ta inflame tha interspecies tensions on dis planet. Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Be that what you wizzant cuz this is how we do it?

DIRK: I’m stoked fo` B-to-tha-izzoth of yiznou, really. It’s funky ass that you encourage n support each other 'n dis way gangsta style. Biznut yizzou’re send'n him on a foo'’s errand which can onlizzle end badly.

Dave opens hizzis miznouth to argue, but sum-m sum-m elze occurs ta hizzle.

DAVE: wait

DAVE keep'n it real yo: hizzay do yizzle even know hes weed-smokin' tha race

DAVE like a tru playa': we like just decidizzle dis

DIRK: A competent political operative has hiznis wizzay.

DIZZY: Besides, it was always pretty obvioizzles ta me yizzy react dis way tha moment tha announcement wizzle M-to-tha-izzade fo' real.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: ok thats kinda creepy i guess but it doesnt cizzy anyth'n

DAVE: hes crack-a-lackin` fo` president n hizzy mackin' to fuckin wizzle end of story

DIRK: F-to-tha-izzair enough.

DIZZAVE: though now im wonder'n

DIZNAVE: Wussup in the house. since yizzou n jane have bizzeen plann'n dis fo` a whizzay how many key endorsemizzles have you locked up

DIZZY: Boo-Yaa! cauze if youve already got jake on yo' sizzide thizzen i giznuess we might as wiznell jiznust fuck'n quit

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I wizzay worry 'bout that.

DIRK: One, two three and to tha four. He n I don’t quite hiznave tha rapport we once did.

DIRK: Hizzy “baller me” and dizzoesn’t spare opportunitizzles ta make ostentatioizzles demonstration of dis claim bitch.

DAVE: um

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: Basically he doesn’t like bein T-to-tha-izzold what ta do. Especially nizzy by me.

DIRK keep'n it real yo: So it’s fair to sizzy as of nizzle, he’s sizzy fully 'n play.

DIRK: Nizzy that I should be blingin' you, R-E-A-Double-Lizzy.

DIZZY: yizzou are one doubletalk'n son of a bitch you know that

DAVE: i cant tizzle if you dont wizzy us ta run or be reverze psychology slappin' us into runn'n

DIZZAY: shut up or get wet up. Does it matta?

DAVE: i gizzle nizzot

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE n we out! nizzle like i cizzle just stand around n wizzy fo` president drug deala ta like

DIZZY: Recognize the realness. wizzy fuck'n grammar liznaws into tha constizzle

DIRK cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: Good droppin hits.

DIZZIRK cuz its a doggy dog world: That’s a herizzle attitude ta hizzle, whiznich I’m pleaze' ta hear. Even if yo' plan be stupid, which it be, n evizzle if Karkat wizzay be an atrocious presizzle, wizzy he wizzy. Put ya fuckin choppers up if ya feel this.

D-TO-THA-IZZAVE: niznuh uh

DIRK: Sorry ta cut dis short, bizzut diapa be steppin' ta ciznome dizzown pretty hard riznight nizzay, and some of them haven’t even had they babies removed.

DAVE: W-H-to-tha-izzat

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK: I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier. That was a joke.

DIZZY: Goodbye, Dave like a tru playa'.

Dizzle hangs up tha pizzy n wipes off hizzle face. Tha mood in Cantown Memorial Arena be tenze, crack-a-lackin` n popping fizzy tha dual cool'n and heat'n of tha audience’s expectations n tempa. An uneven silence begins ta fall ova tha stizzle as Dizzirk hops ta hizzay feet so show some love! Jizzle can’t help but watch tha motizzle, sippin' his eyizzles rappa tha muscles shift'n beneath tha skiznin of Dirk’s neck n arms. Tru.

Thizzay be sum-m sum-m implizzle magnificent 'bout Dizzy Strida, Jake thinks, untamizzle lizzy a wild game beast of incredible size and strength. Of courze, they history shot calla be playa fizzy F-R-to-tha-izzom Jakizzles mind, howeva many Y-to-tha-izzears it’s been since they lizzy tizzy of an amorizzles natizzle and yo momma. Tha old dramas n triumphs 'n tha days of S-B-to-tha-izzurb. Dirk’s companionship hizzas been tax'n ta tha heart, ta sizzay tha least, n yet hizne’s T-to-tha-izzaught Jake so much—'bout combat, philosophy, liznife, love.

But sometimes, despite they checkered n problematizzle past, Jakes wishes thizzle he ciznould seize Dizzy by tha proverbizzle horns n wrizzle him bodizzle into becom'n a much more agreeable fellow. Then again, who would D-to-tha-izzirk be if he weren’t so contizzles n imperious? Dogg House Records in the fuckin house. Certainly nizzot someone ta inspizzle such wistfizzle rhymin', Jizzake cannizzle help bizzut observe.

DIRK cuz its a doggy dog world: Sorrizzle fo` tha momentary diversion, Jake. Nizzle whizzere were we? I thought i told ya, I'm a soldier.

JAKE: Momentary??? Gadzooks dawg you wizzle on the phizzle fo` half a friggin H-to-tha-izzour!

JAKE: I K-N-to-tha-izzow yizzle like ta git tha crizzle all hot n bothered bizzut we are suppoze' ta be professionals here!

DIZZIRK: You’re riznight, my bizzay. Won’t happen agizzle. Chill as I take you on a trip.

DIRK: How 'bout you kick off tha next round?

DIZZIRK cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map: I bet this cizzy will sizzay its shiznit right down the moment you drizzop tha latest rhymiznes yizzou’ve been tinker'n wit. They call me tha president.

DIRK: You know tha ones.

JIZZAKE: Gasp puttin tha smack down.

JAKE like this and like that and like this and uh: Yizzle dont mean...

DIRK: Oh. Bizzut I DO.

Jake’s face lights up. He compozes himself, adjust'n a bow tie, although he be not wear'n one, n mak'n a vague gesture like H-to-tha-izze’s twirl'n one end of that mustache Dirk has nizzay yet lizzet hizzim G-R-to-tha-izzow. Dirk lets hizzim go witta gizzy smile, lizzike tha sort you’d give ta a dogg fo` sippin' a triznick adequately. Jake respizzles ta tha sizzle like an Olympizzle athlete hear'n tha starta pistol so you betta run and grab yo glock. He was born fo` dis.

JAKE: Tally ho its me, jizzake mcgizzee! I'm a fuckin 2-time felon.

JAKE: Cruisin' mah pistizzles off, two S-H-to-tha-izzots n a kiss

JAKE: Mah aim is tizzay, i miss

JIZNAKE: One shiznot ta tha heart n tha crazy ass to yo' lips

JAKE: Im hizzles

JAKE: You cant impede dis

JAKE: Slap your fuckin self. While theze cizzle be all hiznat n verizzle shawty cattle

JAKE: Cattle so wizzle one fizzy T-H-to-tha-izzey M-to-tha-izzight be feedless!

JAKE aww nah: As i prattle n digress yizzou try ta mizzle your egrizzles

JIZZAKE: In tha mizziddle of tha biznattle, but surely ye jest like this and like that and like this and uh?

JIZZY so i can get mah pimp on: FIDDLE FADDLE so i can get mah pimp on!

JAKE: Mah rhymes be knizzay ta br'n the rattle

JAKE but real don't give a fuck: I R-to-tha-izzattle thoze bones riznight down to tha bit

JAKE: Im a mellifluous old chap who knows how ta takes a hizzle

JIZZLE: Im tha tip, know what im sayin?

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Tizzay top of tha morn'n! Hollaz to the East Side.

JAKE: A rip roar'n hizzalt ta yo' snor'n

JAKE: Chill as I take you on a trip. Like mackin' fucka on bacon

JAKE thats off tha hook yo: They hunga awakens!

JAKE now pass the glock: All the rascally scalawags

JAKE: N dastardly jackanapizzles

JAKE: Always ask of me, mate what is sippin'?

JAKE like a fucka: Wit golden gizzle pipizzles such as jake-eng’s

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Im spendin' they sizzy n duck'n they jape-sl'n

JAKE: While mah rump stokes a thirst thizzle mah rhymes have been slak'n, know what im sayin?

Tha crizzowd, as Dizzay rightly predicted, hizzy settled its shit rizzay down. Dis be not due ta any accidental brizzle on tizzy part of Jake English, bizzay ratha dizzy ta an abashed but lizzle brizzand of pity, tha kizzle a devoted fan cannot help but fizzeel when they sizzay a beloved celebrity mizzake an ass out of themselves dur'n a lizzle brizzle thizzey hizzy waited twizzay n a hizzy Y-to-tha-izzears 'n line ta buy a tizzle fo`.

Diznirk’s phone begizzles go'n off agizzle.

J-TO-THA-IZZAKE: Tru. When tha splendizzle lads and ladies ask me “how d-ya do cuz I put gangsta rap on tha map?” i -

D-TO-THA-IZZIRK, betta check yo self: Whoops. Jizzay, sorry ta cizzy you off fo' real...

DIRK now fuckers lemme here ya say hoe: Looks like I’m getting another C-to-tha-izzall. Really nee' ta takes dis one.

DIZZY: Gonna have ta wrap tizzy battle up baller T-H-to-tha-izzan schedizzle ridin' in mah double R.

Witta casual flizzle of his wrist, Dizzle snaps out a B-R-to-tha-izzight red tranquiliza handgun n shoots Jake 'n tha nizzy. Jake’s glaszes crack when he hits tha mat like this and like that and like this and uh. A chorizzles of bizzle rizes up from tha crowd like groundwata. Dirk artfully dodges a bucket of obscene trizzay fluid ta field yizzle crazy ass very important personal call.

DIZZLE: Yo Roze, wizzy up?

> ==>

#Gizoogle #Homestuck #Epilogues #Meat #m5

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

GEARBOX THIS IS EVERYTHING I’VE EVER WANTED THAAAAHAHAHAANK YOUUUUU

FUCK OKAY TRAILER BREAKDOWN BECAUSE I AM LOOOOOOSING MY FUCKING MIND OVER THIS TRAILER HOOOOOLY SHIT

POSSIBLE PSOILERS??? MAYBE? GOD DDDDDAYMN WHAT A WAY TO GET BACK INTO THE THEORY SCENE LMAO

SO FIRST OF ALL I’M NOT CERTAIN THIS IS RELATED TO THE BARMAN/SECOND STARS CULT QUEST I FOUND IN THE FILES AS SOME PEOPLE SUGGESTED, BUT I WILL ADMIT IT IS SUSPICIOUSLY SPECIFIC. MAINLY ABOUT A CULT AND THE FACT WE SEE A BAR HANGING OUT IN THE TRAILER, BUT HEY, I AM NOT GOING TO MAKE ASSUMPTIONS RIGHT NOW I AM JUST GOING TO ENJOY THIS WHILE I CAN

ANd breathe in

breathe okay

okay

im okay.

i’ve watched this trailer like 15 times already oh my god it’s so good. i wasnt so hyped about the casino dlc bc, like, i already spoiled myself on it BUT THIS IS (AS FAR AS WE KNOW) UNCHARTED TERRITORY AND

IT’S TECHNICALLY A WATER PLANET

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

okay

okay

i will stop using caps

for the most part

hhhhhhh

okay.

let’s just be calm. i got this

BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THIS THOUGH????

oh ym goD

the fucking lighthouse sent me. i just. i went feral for a solid hour and a half. just wheezing on my test. i fell onto the floor at one point, don’t remember when. it was so fucking good, i couldn’t feel my goddamn hands

;-; its so beautiful i could stare at this all day hhhhhhh

i just

hhhhhhhhhhhh

oh ym godddd ;-;-;-;-;-;-;

it’s so fucking beautiful

i can’t

okay

we see the gun/health station under the lighthouse so it’s not really THAT big, and we can see a town in the distance. running across the ice sheets is giving me HUGE southern shelf vibes which i am in love with. this whole aesthetic is just ;w; so good

there’s a catch a ride in that town as well so we know this area is fairly big (which is confirmed in a later shot)

and oh my GOD can you imagine seeing some big ol beast lurking beneath the surface of the ice sheets hohhhh

MAN

okay sorry im still not oevr this its just so fckign good

inside the belly of the beast rotting Monster and OHHHHHHHHHHH THE IMPLICATION-s of that. of that. im calm.

we get a look at 2 new enemies and mmmmmm we get a better look at them later on so just look how fuckig beautiful thsi area is with its acid that’s probably rotting stomach acid and AAAAAAAA

first close up of the town, giving me really big uhhhh we happy few vibes? which im not complaining about

TENTACLES asdfghj

anywway more toen, bridge looks like like athenas which is DOPE im hype for more athenas-esque architecture

the TOWNss oh my god im so im love with this aesthetic god. damn.it i need this injected directly into my veins like right N O W

also the bridge is going over another pool of acid, which the tentacle is coming out of. i imagine this monster was sorta acid based, which is funny. since. frozen water planet. and it’s OOZY too. oozy boy means the eridians didn’t make this one! ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

hm who’s ready to face the unintended consequences of our actions?! NOT THE ERIDIANS WHOOO BOY (you cannot tlel me that there are mantakores on this planet and not say there was eridian fuckering going on nooOOPE)

also, side note, DIGGING the spike pit under the house on the bottom right. hope we get to explore that bad boy

ALSO

who are you mysterious figure whose cape billows in the wind? are you just part of the environment?? MAYBE

more town

first look at that BEAUITUFL red barrier which OOOOH I WANNA TOUCH SO BADLY

look at it

LOOK AT IT

NOODLE BOWL

EATS??? food place?? im not sure i can’t read, Jared, 19

see s-ar(?)ed??

THAT

THAT IS BEAUTIFUL

doesn’t look like a corporation shield (no corporation gunk lying around either) and we do know red glowy shit is the New Eridian Aesthetic, so im just saying.

it could be a corporation tho, mostly because uhhh later shots

hold up

that’s not uhhhhhhhhhhh

yeah it CAN’T BE lol

cursetown - something something

these red thingies are probably just rotting monster flesh but it does look very similar to the vines on nekrotefeyo

given how worried wainwright looks i imagine him and hammylocks are being coerced into the whole marriage thing in order to complete a ritual

i mean no judgement but that red background is absolutely garrish for a wedding

1. pirate ship??? please??? look at all the mist outside and the wooden bars

god PLEASE can i get a pirate ship.  CNA I PLEASE GET A PIRATE SHIP

Captain scarlett wsan’t enoughhhh

2. why the fuck does she have a tail

3.

DJ Midnight performing Saturday: The Dark Mix Deep W???? Hear The Voices (hmmm) and Let The Music Enter You

gee i wonder if this is cultist propaganda

I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU PEOPLE ARE

BUT YOUR TIMING

SUCKS

IIIII AM HERMEAUS MORAAA

no wait wrong game

BUT BRO TENTACLES COMING OUT OF THE MAGIC PORTALS???? UFCKF UEYS THIS FITS PERFECTLY INTO H2O A- i mean, damn haven’t we got enough tentacles from the destroyer?? wow gearbox... heh. hm.

SO I AM WONDERING IF MAYBE THE GREEN UNDER THE BRIDGE AND SUCH ISN’T LIKE CORROSIVE ACID BUT MAYHAPS SOME SORT OF MAGIC SLUDGE COMING OFF THE BIG OL MONSTER BOY THAT THESE CULTISTS ARE HARNESSING TO TAP INTO something. i lost steam. but i mean MAGIC PORTALS

and we all know where teleportation takes us

MANTAKORES!!! WHICH MEANS ERIDIAN INTERVENTION SOMEWHERE ALONG THE LINE

they seem like fire/ice boys which i absolutely adore

THIS SHOT IS SO COOL OH MY GOD

LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN IT JUST LOOKS D O P E

WHAT IS THIS??

WHAT IS THIIIS??

CAN I PLEASE HAVE YOUR JACKET

OH ALSO

I MENTIONED IT IN ANOTHER POST BUT THIS

REMINDS ME A LOT OF THIS

IM SURE THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NO CORRELATION BUT I THOUGHTIT WAS FUNNY

ALSO REMEMBER THE BLACK EYES THING I HAVE A WHOLE THINGIE THING IMMA BRING BACK OT IT JUST HOLD TIGHT

THIS SHOT?? OH MY GOD? IT’S LIKE A MOVIE????????? I LOV EI LOVE IT LIV E OT

nND THE WOLFIE BOYS THATTHE ARTICLE MENTIONS

UCKING TENTACLES HFDGDHFGJKH THIS IS SO FUCKING COOL OH MY GOD

HE’ SGOT TENTACLE ARMS LIKE MOTHERFUCKING CHADAM

BRO IM

BROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

AND A GUN THIS MOTHERFUCKER STILL HAS A GUN

WHAT A MAN

MORE TECHONOLOG Y THAT IM SURE PLAYS A ROLE IN THIS SOMEHOW

BEAUTIFUL

WE SLAM THIS DUDE UP AGAINST A WALL SO HARD SHE/HE/THEY (I ASSUME SHE BC WE CAN’T SEE HER FACE AS A COMMON TROPE) 

BREAKS THE WINDOW WHICH LOOKS SUSPICIOUSLY LIKE A WINDOW ON SANC-III BUT IM NOT MAKING ANY ASSUMPTIONS

also red SPARKS WHICH REMIND ME OF ERIDIANS AGAIN

also her whole helmet thingie??? very Guardian-like

THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS GIVING ME HUGE HECTOR/KEY/PLANT/ERIDIANBULLSHITTERY VIBES THEY EVEN HAVE THE GLOWING SACS OF OOOOOOOZE

which is another point to the “green sludge is magic/connected to their powers somehow” theory. hmmm i hope we mix neon green and eridium purple. purple/green is my favorite color combo. and ugh with the lovecraftian vibes? be still my beating heart!

WINNIE SHOOTING SOMOHE

i fucking LOVE the laces on this shotgun. so fucking pretty omfg

magic circle MAGIC CIRCLE MAGIC CIRCLE

also new chest it looks like

BROO??? HOLY SHIT?????????

JABBER WOLF!! SO FUCKING COOL

THAT SKULL MOUTH IS SO FUCKING DOPE IT LOOKS LIKE TROY’S TATTOO

ohhhhhhHHHHHH THE MOON IS GREEN TOO DON’T DO THI GEARBOX IM GONNA SCREAM IF THERE’S ANOTHER ALTERNATIVE ERIDIUM

THIS SHOT OHHHH

THE BAR LOOKS FUCKING FANTASTIC OH MY GOD

shots SHOT SHOTS SHOT SHOTS HTOSHSTOHSOHTS

dND the MERFOLK TAIL ON THE FAR RIGHT I DON’T GIVE A FUUUCK WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS THAT’S MER TAIL THAT’S A TAIL FUCK U

YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YSEY SEYSEYSE BIGGG

THE BARTENDER OHOH

HAVE I MENTIONED THE GIANT FUCKING MUSHROOMS BTW

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA IM GETTTING SUCH DRAGONBORN DLC VIBES I LOVE IT

SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BTW THAT’S IMPORTANT

YOU ALLL LOOK SO FUCKING AMAZING OH MY GOD

the bartender!!!! his glasses!! AND THE VOICE MODULATOR???

the netch looking boys are called

slithercresses btw and THEY LOOK STUNNING

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NEW RED CHESTS??? LOOK ERIDIAN TO ME

WHICH MIGHT MEAN------

ALSO THE DIMENSIONAL TRANSFER PROGRAM ON SANC-III WHERE BBY BOY MAUREICE MAKES US A PORTAL TO HELL??? WHICH GREEN OOZE WHICH IS “HECKTOPLASM” BUT MAYBE ACTUALLY N O T

THE STAR OF THE SHOW BABY GIRL GAIGE WHO’SACTUALLY OLDER THAN ME NOW FUUUUUUUUCK

YOU’RE SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL II LOVE YOUR NEW GOGGLES

H??????????????

POSSIBLE NEW PSYCHOMASK UNLESS HE’S JUST GROWING THOSE BONE HORNS IN WHICH CASE YOU GO MAN IM PROUD OF YOU

TENTACLE GUNNNNNN WHICH BETTER LPAY A PART ERIRDIANS YOU FUCKS

THIS PLACE IS WHY I THINK THIS MIGHT BE RELATED TO S O M E CORPORAITON? BUT THEN AGAIN IT MAY JSUT BE THE CULT HEADQUARTERS OR WHATEVER, THAT RED BUBBLED MANSION LOOKS P HQ

FOOD CARTS AND ALSO WHATEVERS IN THAT SWINGING BAG LOOKS LIKE BONES HELL YEAH

this this THIS THIS THIS THIS WHAT IS THIS A NEW CIRCL  E OF SLAUGHTEr? ERIDIAN???

THEYRE PUMPING SOMETHING INTO/OUT OF THE CORPSE!!!!!!! ALSO

mutaTED FEET

[something] world! with a skull symbol on the side

both green btw

god YES I LOVE GREEN AND PURPLE IM SO HAPPY

SAILOF HOLE

hammylocks helping us with a fight by some bones and more wolfie boys!!!! i love these little dudes

FIRE MUTATED SLUGS AAAAAAAAA THEYRE SO COOL

ns tHEY CUR L UP INTO BALLS AND ROLL AT YOU LIKE KRAGGONS

AND I WONDER HOW THE SLUGS MUTATED IS IT POSSIBLY THE G R E E EN?

AND THEIR SHELLS LIKE SUCC UP LAVA?????????????

THESE BRAIN-Y BOYS 

SO BLUE I LOVE THEM

AND MORE GREEN MIST BY THE WAY OWOWOWOWOWO

another look at a baddie with STUDS THIS TIME

A MAGIC WARLOCK TYPE BADDIE THIS TIME AND HE SUMMONS A STAFF AND ALSO I THINK THAT’S ERIDIUM CANNISTER BEHIND HIM

AND IT HAS SIMMILAR TENTACLESTO THE GUNS DO YOU THINK WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO GET ANA NSWER ASA TO WHY OUR GUNS ARE A L I V E

MORE SNAIL DUDES AND THE GREEN STUFF IN THE BACKGROUND M A N I LOVE TEENAGE MUTANT NINJA SNAILS

OOOOOZE

BACK AT IT AGAIN IN MY CYCLONES

GREEN FUCKING PUDDLES

B O N E S FUCKING I HOPE THIS EXPLAINS HOW THE SKAGS ON PANDORA GOT SO FUCKIN LARGGO OUTSIDE OF JUST ‘YEAH THE SEASONS’

MORE

this

THIS

ONE

THIS LOOKS LIKE A SAURIAN THE ARMORED ONES THE BASHY ARMORED ONES THAT START WITH ‘C’

TWO THAT GUN IS KICKASS

IT’S GLOWING G R E E N AND IT HAS ***THE TENTACLE BARREL***

OHHHH IM SO READY FOR AN EXPLANATION GEARBO X PL E ASE

GIVE IT TO ME

ALSO THIS

IM EXCITED ABOUT

PROBABLY RELATED TO SWEETFRUIT VILLAGE BC THE MUSHROOMS MAYBE THEY USE IT TO MAKE BOOZE MUSHROOM BOOZE EW

WHY IS HE GRAY?????? HE’S NOT WEARING A JACKET MAYBE HES CRYO-FLAVORED

more sluggus THESE ARE GREEN FLAVORED :O

also, side note

PLEASE TLEL ME THIS WAS INTENTIONAL GEARBOX

LEMME SLAP BLANE’S ASS

YOU *GUYS* PLEASE

BUBBLE MANSION??? GREEN OOZY VILLAIN THAT GOT SLMAMED INTO A WALL??? BABY BABY GIRL

THE R E D

and she’s USING A TENTACLE GUN TOO

THAT’S GOTTA MEAN SOMETHING RIGHT

hhhhhhHHHHH

also ther’e sa fridge on the left lol

also the consoles look similar to that one shot with zane which is why i believe this is part of that bubbled-y mansion.

YES ES YES YES YES YESY SYEYSE 

I WANNA RIDE THE SKY TRAM SO BAD PLEASE

I WANNA REENACT UNTIL DAWN

I HAVE A MIGHTY NEEEEEEED

ALSO NOTE THE EYES

AND THE PURPLE HOW IT LOOKS LIKE AN ERIDIUM PURPLE

ANYWAY I HA[VE TO GO EAT FOOD NOW BUT GO LOOK AT THIS LINKN

I LOOKED UP THE NAME OF THE PLANET AND MYTHOLOGY AND NOTHING CAME UP, BUT GOOGLE RECOMMENDED ME 

T H I S

https://pantheon.org/articles/l/lycurgus.html

AND MAN OH MAN

“FAMOUS FOR HIS PERSECUTION OF DIONYSUS” THE GOD OF P A R T I E S LIKE IDK A WEDDING PARTY, WHICH FORCED YA MAIN MAN DIONYSUS TO <JUMP INTO THE OCEAN> WHICH COULD HAVE SOME RELATION TO THE TENTACLES

OH AND ALSO LYCURGUS WAS THEN <<<BLINDED>>>  WHICH COULD PLAY A PART IN THE BLACK OOZY EYES EVERYONE HAS

DIONYSUS ALSO ENDS UP PUNISHING LYCURGUS WITH MADASS AND WE ALL KNOW HOW THAT RELATES

OKAY BYE 

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #borderlands spoilers #IM SORRY I POSTED THIS EARLY IT WAS ANA CCIDENCT

[subidol]

Jaemin NSFW A-Z

Warning: 00 LINE SMUT! DON’T LIKE DON’T READ!

THIS IS MY OPINION BTW!!

SORRY FOR MISTAKES I DIDN’T CHECK LOL.

FML IF I FORGOT A LETTER 

A- Aftercare

Na Jaemin is amazing at giving aftercare. Firstly, he’d just cuddle with you for a few minutes, stroking your hair peacefully. If you didn’t fall asleep already, he’d definitely get up and make you a hot drink. He might run a bath for the two of you, where he’d already decorated the bathroom with petals and candles. It’d be so cheesy but thats Nana for you. Then to settle you back to sleep after a long round, he’ll sing you to sleep quietly, kissing your forehead every once in a while.

B- Body (Your favourite part of his body and his favourite part of yours)

Well, i can’t exactly guess your favourite part of Jaemin’s body, but i sure as hell love his arms.

Like...how dare he attack you like this?? They may not be the most muscled arms in NCT, but they are nicely toned and you just adore laying your head on them, and giving his shoulders and biceps kisses. His favourite body part of yours is most likely your cheeks (face cheeks lmao); he loves squishing them and kissing them, pinching them, you name it. But he also loves your breasts, whether they’re big or small, because he wants to reassure you that he loves them. Also uses them as pillows ehehe.

C- Cum

When you’re comfortable, and on the pill, he prefers coming inside of you since he feels it is very intimate. However, he knows how risky it is so he will only do this every once in a while. He’d be really tidy though. His pullout game is strong lol. 

D- Dirty Secret

Secretly up for having a threesome/foursome with either Jeno or Jeno and Renjun. But we all knew that, didn’t we? Only if you were up for it though.

E- Experience (how experienced they are)

Obviously, Jaemin is an experienced flirter, but hasn’t has much experience with sex, since he’s only just legal. My belief is that he’s probably had blowjobs, fingered a girl, etc but never gone too far. However, i believe he’d be a natural in bed. Freaking perfect at eating you out, cockwarming, and doing all the right things to turn you on. Thrusts like a god. 

F- Favourite Position

It depends on the mood, but he likes it when you ride him, since he gets a nice view of your face and breasts bouncing up and down. He does enjoy missionary though, since Jaemin likes to take control over the situation so you don’t have to worry about anything. He will never try positions you weren’t comfortable with. If you were up for it, he’d try anything new if that’s what you wanted cause he’ll literally do anything for you.

G- Goofy

Jaemin is like a lightswitch; one moment hes all giggly and cute, but as soon as you get into bed he’s as serious and sexy as ever. He doesn’t want to ruin the hot mood. He’ll be really romantic though- constantly asking you if you’re okay or if you want him to go slower or faster. 

H- Hair

He keeps it messy, but not too uneven. His hair tends to stick to his neck when he sweats, so just like he would practice a choreography,his hair would be all over the place when you’d get intimate, too, which you didn’t mind.

I- Intimacy

Jaemin loves being romantic and sees sexual acts as a way to bond passionately as well as expressing how much he trusts and wants you. He’s the type to lay rose petals on the bed or in the bath. Might even leave you cute little notes leading to the bed, where he’d be laying, waiting for you.

J- Jack Off

Nana probably masturbates quite a lot, since he’s a hormonal teenager, what else can i say. Honestly, he’ll just think of you as the one who is feeling him up, as he touches himself. Probably does it after fan meets, performances and practice, which makes him feel really turned on after hours of hard work.

K- Kink

Hmm...Nana seems like the type to have a thing to be dominant (not that he wouldn’t like being submissive) but not to the level of bondage, daddy kink, etc. Idk, he just seems too sweet and caring to ever tie you up or degrade you, even if its what you really wanted. He seems like the type to adore body worship and leaving hickies/scratches. He’d love leaving hickies on your neck, but would make sure not to go too rough unless you said so. No matter what, Nana lives for scratches on his back. Gripping his hair and raking your nails down his backis HIS THING OKAY. HE FUCKING LOVES IT COME @ ME.

L- Location (Favourite place to have sex)

The bed- it’s the most comfy, and all Nana cares about is your comfort, what a sweetie. I think he’d never have sex in public, but might finger you underneath the table or something. Loves bath sex too, since the water’s warm and has a nice aroma, which hightens the mood. 

M- Motivation (Turn Ons)

Seeing you in frilly clothes. I feel like he’d be attracted to lighter coloured clothes on you, like white and pink? Definitely gets him hard. Will like it when you play a  little hard to get, since he adores teasing you. Plus, if you rake your hands through his hair, squeeze his thigh and biting his ear, etc...you’re getting him worked up with those dangerous fingertips. When he really needs you, he ends up sexting you. A lot. Especially in class so be prepared lmao.

N- No (Turn Offs)

Strange kinks. They aren’t romantic. Things like foot fetish. Erm..yeah he isnt into it. He doesn’t like degrading, whether receiving or giving. He wouldn’t understand why you’d want to call each other such horrible names.

O- Oral

Jaemin, when receiving, is a whole hot mess. With his head thrown back, sweat covering his body, and his arm over his eyes, he looks fucking delicious.When hes giving oral, he literally will do anything to hear your cute moans, which often leads to him making you feel extreme pleasure. This boy is perfect at giving and putting on a show when receiving.

P- Pace

If you’re not the one setting the pace, then he prefers to keep it steady. Not slow exactly, but not speedy either. He wants to make sure you feel him, and he stretches you in all the right places. He loves slowly kissing you as he thrusts, but will end up bucking his hips and going faster when he’s building up to his climax. It’s not hard to tell when Jaemin’s close to an orgasm. He’ll mutter out things like ‘I love you, Princess.’ or just will simply let out a string of moans and pull you closer.

Q- Quickies

Jaemin’s the type to really crave quickies. Anytime really. However, if you’re not a fan of them, he’ll give himself major sexual frustration, and will eventually beg you to suck his cock later when the two of you are alone. But they’ve happened in recording studios MANY times before. 

R- Risk (His comfort zone)

He does enjoy doing it in front of other members, but doing it secretly, like underneath the blankets or something. Anything like knife or blood play is a big NO. He will NEVER take the risk. As i’ve said before, Jaemin likes cumming inside of you. He won’t ever do it without your permission though.

S- Stamina (How many rounds)

Jaemin thinks that one round is enough, but he’ll do other stuff with you after. Make out, spoon, give you hickies and will then give you a bath or watch tv you you. He likes to make the first round last, and for it to be as perfect as possible, which wouldn’t be a problem since hes amazing at sex.

T- Toy (His favourite sex toys)

Doesn’t mind vibrators being used on him, but finds it addicting when they’re used to torment you. Especially when you’re studying. He’d turn it on ad off repeatedly, getting you hot and bothered while in your lessons.

U- Unfair (How they tease you)

Nana is a whole tease. He’s a brat, okay? He’s a playful, teasing bratty switch who most of the time gets challenged for dominance because you plan on giving him a hard time for all of his flirting and relentless teasing. He does shit like wear sleeveless shirts on purpose, and biting his lip waaay too many times. Winks often and generally gives you the ‘I know you want to fuck me’ look. Also, Jaemin has a habit of getting you jealous by flirting with fans- you fucking hate that.

V- Volume (How vocal they are)

He struggles to be quiet sometimes, especially when you kiss and suck his body, near his arousal. Whines like hell when you scratch down his back and kiss his jawline. He tries to make his moans pretty and loud, since he knows its a turn on for you. Nana isn’t afraid about letting you know how good you make him feel. Always breathes heavily after his release, which is even hotter.

W- Wild Card (Author’s Choice)

Jaemin wouldnt be nervous having sex at all. The only time he might slightly panic is when it’s your first time. He wants the experience to be as pleasurable as possible, but then again, he is very confident, so there’d be no need to worry. He’d be extremely honoured if he was your first, and would prepare the entire thing leading up to it. He’s so sweet and gentle.

X- X-ray (Their Package)

You’re fucking welcome. I don’t own the vid.

Y- Yearning (Sex Drive)

Jaemin has a high sex drive, what can i say? He craves for your touch 24/7, and constantly thinks of fucking you at the most random of times. Touches himself twice a day when you’re not around, watches porn like any other boy, and looks at pictures of you. It takes a lot of courage for him to NOT fuck you in the dorm rooms.

Z- ZZZ (How fast they fall asleep after)

Nana falls asleep so fast. He has such energy before and during sex but as soon as he reaches his climax, hes exhausted from all the stimulation. All he’d want to do is cuddle with you after. Make sure you get him up at the right time though...or another member will. Eek.

Hope you enjoyed!

fuck this took ages

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