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#ANY LIZARD BEAST
snailfen · 1 year
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the gourmand experience thus far: rotundness
#rain world downpour spoilers#rain world spoilers#FINALLY MADE A DENT OF PROGRESS IN DIRECTION. holy shit#but um most of my grocery list is done! a lot of stuff i needed was in shoreline. i also ran into an orange lizard in shaded citadel..???#im guessing it was a lineage step. cus i killed and ate a mole lizard for the list a cycle earlier. iirc orange lizards dont normally spawn#in shaded#ALSO MIRAHEZE UPDATED. thankfully you dont HAVE to kill a red centipede for the list! its either that or an aquapede. whew#so anyways i just went for that in shoreline#got a cyan in industrial#decided to make a quick stop at sky islands before heading to fp??? for some reason. took forever to find an eggbug jesus#its so funny what pebs says to gourmand. Gluttonous Beast..... rotundness. hehe#anyways i unlocked slugpups early through the cheats menu but never found any on survivor/monk. i ran into one at a karma gate shelter help#ITS FUNNY CUS I SAW PIPE LIGHTS INDICATING THAT SOMETHING LEFT WHEN I ENTERED THE SHELTER. IM AT THE TOP OF CANOPY#fucking NOTHING gets up there. so i popped back out. saw nothing. figured it was just a batfly. went back in. boom. baby jumpscare#so um. i have a baby now!!! im on my way to subterranean and i have two items left. so smooth sailing from here#still need to come up with a name for the little guy.... i wanna do a title like the campaign slugcats? theyre a white slugpup#oh god i have to be responsible for them the entire way. if i run into another one ill cry cus i wont be able to leave it there#but dear god the difficulty will Not be Fun. why am i like this.#mossball.txt#nebi gaming moment#the gourmand
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sparky-is-spiders · 1 year
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Okay lets get some things straight:
- Somewhere out in the TMA world there’s a desolation avatar that’s just. A dragon. Like just a whole fire-breathing dragon.
- The Still and Lightless Beast has probably never been seen BUT it’s a big lizard. It has a long snout and shoulder spikes. And scutes. And is generally very Lizard. Legs like a dinosaur tho.
- There are multiple snake-themed avatars. For multiple fears. I know they’re never mentioned but I know that they Exist and are Canon
- That season 2 statement from a diver is about someone who saw a sea serpent specifically
- The main point is that reptiles are Very Important to the TMA fear landscape and I will die on this hill.
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bootleg-nessie · 6 months
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Rating band names based on their accuracy:
(I keep updating this list so check back later)
The Beatles: 3/10. None of these people are beetles, they’re just a bunch of fruity guys from Liverpool with matching haircuts
(Edit: changed from 0/10 to 3/10 because John Lennon beat his wife)
Pink Floyd: 4/10. There is not a single person named Floyd in the band, but some of the members do arguably look kinda pink
Nirvana: 10/10. Getting high and listening to Nirvana is roughly what I imagine actual nirvana to be like
Foo Fighters: either 0/10 or 10/10. I have never seen foo in real life so either they’re pretending to fight a problem that doesn’t exist or they’re doing an absolutely fantastic job of fighting it
The Eagles: 0/10. Same as the Beatles, there is not a single eagle in this band. The name is misleading and we have all been lied to
Queen: 6/10. Partial points for Freddie Mercury
Led Zeppelin: 0/10. I don’t think any of these guys have ever even seen a zeppelin, let alone one made of lead. A lead balloon would crash faster than my hopes and dreams
The Rolling Stones: 3/10. There is not a single stone in this band. Some points added because I’m pretty sure they rolled quite a few
U2: 0/10. Despite what the name says, I am not a member of this band
Metallica: 9/10. Naming a metal band “Metallica” is like naming your dog “doggy”
Red Hot Chili Peppers: 2/10. These guys are not chili peppers. They’re not even that hot, let alone red hot
Guns N’ Roses: 0/10. How the fuck could a gun or a flower play music
Backstreet Boys: ?/10. Depends entirely on their current given location
Simon and Garfunkel: 10/10. No notes
The Doors: 1/10. Jim Morrison is kinda shaped like a door tho
Chicago: 4/10. The number of people in this band does not come even remotely close to the population of Chicago. Points added because it originated in Chicago
Earth, wind, and fire: 2/10. This is even more innacurate than Chicago. Points added because wind instruments were often used
Def Leppard: 3/10. There is not a single leopard in this band. Some of the members are probably kinda deaf by now tho
The Beach Boys: ?/10. Accuracy depends entirely on location
The Black Eyed Peas: 6/10. Not sure what the hell an ‘eyed pea’ is but the black part is pretty accurate
Imagine Dragons: ?/10. Depends entirely on whether or not they’re thinking about dragons.
Cage the Elephant: 1/10. Why would you do that. Let the elephant go
Green Day: 0/10. They’re not even green
The Police: 0/10. There is not a single cop in this band
KISS: 5/10. I’m sure they probably kissed sometimes
The Monkees: 0/10. Are you fucking kidding me
We Butter the Bread with Butter: 8/10. I can’t verify this but I have no reason to suspect that they’d lie. Butter seems like the most logical thing to butter bread with
King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard: 0/10. I got really excited about the concept of a lizard wizard only to be let down. My disappointment is immeasurable
They Might Be Giants: 5/10. I googled everyone in this band’s height, the tallest guy’s only 6’1 so I wouldn’t exactly consider him a giant. Then again, I can’t really argue because the claim was only that they MIGHT be giants
The Presidents of the United States of America: 2/10. None of these people are Joe Biden nor are any of them former presidents. This is incredibly misleading. I’m pretty sure “Lump” was written about my first girlfriend tho so I’ll give them a point or two
Gorillaz: 2/10 Not quite but we’re kinda close genetically so I’ll give them partial credit
The Killers: ?/10. I have no way of verifying if they’ve actually killed before but the fact that they’re not in prison tells me probably not
The Offspring: 10/10. These guys are definitely somebody’s offspring
Arctic Monkeys: 1/10. They are neither monkeys nor are they from the arctic
Thirty Seconds to Mars: 1/10. It takes WAY longer to get to mars than that
Beastie Boys: 8/10. They’re pretty beast on the guitar
Jimmy Eat World: 1/10. Slow the fuck down Jimmy, you’re biting off way more than you can chew
Hole: 9/10. One point deducted because I’m pretty sure they had more than one hole
Rage Against the Machine: 10/10. They did exactly that
Alice In Chains: 0/10. This is illegal. Let Alice go
The Band: 10/10. This could not possibly be more accurate
Nine Inch Nails: 1/10. I can’t find any good pictures of their feet but from what I can tell their fingernails definitely aren’t nine inches long
Bush: ?/10. Not quite sure about this one, felt uncomfortable asking
The Who: 2/10. I’m not dealing with this “Who’s On First” bullshit
Radiohead: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a radio for a head
Queens of the Stone Age: 0/10. This band should be called “five random dudes from the modern era” but FRDFTMA is a bit of a mouthful
Soundgarden: 2/10. Sound does not grow in the garden
Sonic Youth: 5/10. They’re not exactly youth anymore but the sonic part checks out
Talking heads: 8/10. There’s more to the band than just a bunch of disembodied heads but the heads do tend to talk
The Cranberries: 0/10. Decent music but I only added them so that the Beatles and Freddie Mercury weren’t the only fruits on this list
The Wiggles: 8/10. They do tend to wiggle a lot
Blue Man Group: 10/10. Yep!
Weezer: 5/10. They all look like they definitely have asthma
Limp Bizkit: 3/10. While the visual image of baked goods playing the guitar is hilarious, Fred durst is not a biscuit. Points added because he probably has erectile dysfunction
Stone Temple Pilots: 0/10. None of these people are accredited as being licensed to pilot anything, much less an entire stone temple. Stone temples don’t need pilots anyways
Wasted Youth: 8/10. I guess it really kinda depends on how you frame it but yeah, they probably wasted a lot of it
Them Crooked Vultures: 3/10. These are people and not birds but Dave Grohl’s posture is kinda bad and John Paul Jones is so old that his neck kinda looks like a vulture’s so I added some points
Audioslave: 0/10. Slavery is illegal
Traveling Wilburys: 4/10. Sure, they traveled a lot but not a single one of those lying bastards was named Wilbury
D12: 6/12. There were only 6 people in this band
NWA: 10/10. I’m a little too white to safely comment on this one but I’d say they nailed it
Jet: 1/10. A real jet would be way too loud
Goldfinger: 0/10. Not a single person in this band has a finger made out of gold
No Doubt: ?/10. I can’t really be too sure how Gwen Stefani felt but I think it’s probably a safe assumption that she had some doubts
The White Stripes: 3/10. I bet if you stripped them down naked and made them stand shoulder to shoulder and squinted really hard they’d probably look more like white stripes
Screaming trees: 3/10. They scream occasionally
Garbage: 2/10. I think they’re being a little harsh on themselves, their music isn’t THAT bad
Butthole Surfers: 5/10. Not even gonna touch this one
Megadeth: 3/10. To be fair, some of the former members are dead but only a little amount of death, not mega death
Dead Kennedys: 2/10. Last I checked Kennedy was still dead but neither he nor his clones are members of this band
Cake: 0/10. The cake is a lie
Cracker: 8/10. Most of them are
Tool: 7/10. I don’t know much about their music but they sure look like tools
Counting Crows: ?/10. Is this what emo kids do instead of counting sheep? Accuracy depends on whatever bird they happen to be counting at the moment
Dave Matthews Band: 10/10. It certainly is
Oasis: 1/10. Their music is the opposite of an oasis
Blur: 2/10. They are not that fast
Barenaked Ladies: 0/10. If I wanted to be this disappointed I’d reestablish a connection with my biological father instead
Meat Puppets: 10/10. Technically, aren’t we all?
Live: 8/10. Apparently they still do live shows but I deducted some points because I’ve only ever heard their music on Spotify
ABBA: 9/10. I’m still not giving any points to Guns N’ Roses but that’s mostly out of spite
5 Finger Death Punch: 8/10 I guess it probably depends on how hard you hit them but this seems to be the usual amount of fingers to punch somebody with
All American Rejects: 9/10. They’re all rejects from America so I don’t really see any issue with this
T. Rex: 0/10. Even if any of these people WAS a T. Rex I don’t think their arms would be long enough to play their instruments
Free: 0/10. Unless you steal their music, in which case it becomes a 10/10
The Strokes: 3/10. To my knowledge, none of them have had a stroke but I still added a few points because the name was probably accurate for other reasons
The Smashing Pumpkins ?/10. Another thing I have no way of verifying but this seems like a waste of perfectly good pumpkins
Therapy?: ?/10. The hell are they asking me for? I don’t know their medical history
Twenty One Pilots. 0/10. There’s only two of them and neither is a licensed pilot
Finger Eleven: 0/10. Leave the poor Stranger Things girl out of this
Fall Out Boy: 9/10. I conferred with an expert on this one who confirmed that they are in fact boys who had a falling out
Cream: 8/10. Considering this was the OG supergroup I’m sure a lot of people did in fact cream when their music came out
Edit: humans aren’t fucking monkeys. Stop saying we are
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carionto · 7 months
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Humans really like space wildlife
As Humanity integrates itself within the Galactic Coalition ever further, trade and travel between Sol and neighboring member systems is growing at exponential rates. In particular, their interest in the native wildlife of other planets is the most widely expanding sector for tourism and commerce.
Even though it is also the most heavily regulated and restricted one, Humans, who typically display a desire to subvert the normal procedures to expedite any process they can, for this they are surprisingly willing and eager to fill in all the necessary paperwork and spend hours upon days making sure they follow and adhere to all the requirements to import some of these creatures.
While such level of determination is not uncommon for new member species who discover a certain non-native creature or something that to the respective natives is commonplace but for them is the pinnacle of exotic, the variety of requests made by Humans is nearly as great as the entire list of known fauna species. And the reasons listed on the forms are even more diverse:
"That's a unicorn! I've always dreamed of having a unicorn and you're telling me there's a dozen subspecies?! Yes, please!!!"
"After reviewing their behavior, this bear-sized fluff-ball is the perfect cat I've always wanted, but couldn't because of allergies. I'll treat them with love and care, my life is incomplete without this fella."
"Tiny. Elephant-duck. Want."
"Our company was looking for a mascot, and these six-legged spindly beaver-crabs are perfect. Here's our mission statement and prepared accommodations for a flock."
"They all said I hallucinated the lizard sasquatch when I was on that acid trip, but now I'll show 'em. It's real. I knew it all along!"
"Aww, these baby puppies are so adorable (referring to the four meter, 800kg Fanged Widowmaker of Abyss Valley predator). My kids were looking through your alien picture books and instantly fell in love with these ones."
And so on. At first we had to reject quite a few, mainly because half of them were deadly beasts from Deathworlds that are almost impossible to capture in the first place. Then the Human officials informed us that, while they will try to stop it from happening, if we don't make importing and adopting even the most dangerous animals in the known Galaxy reasonably possible for them with Human help and expertise in the field, some Humans will set up illegal smuggling rings to "fill the market gap" as they said. Historically, they explained, that causes more problems and expenses than just handling it through official channels.
Reluctantly we were persuaded and have set up a new organization to quell this, apparently, unquenchable Human pack bonding condition. Even if said pet can kill them. We think, as horrible as it may be, that for some that is part of the appeal. Even the ones that breathe out literal poison.
"We'll wear a mask around them. This wendigo-like one is too cute to not get belly rubs."
Said the OFFICIAL Human Representative of a monstrosity that can only be described as the living incarnation of countless teeth, fangs, claws, vivid seizure inducing iridescent feathers, and a body that extends from a inconspicuous ambush pose to a fully 8 meter tall six limbed nightmare machine of Death!
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suns-pott · 3 months
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Leona and Malleus Mayhem! - Self Aware!Yandere!Leona and Malleus x reader
A short drabble inspired by Yuri and Natsuki's fight in ddlc hehe
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You logged in to Twisted Wonderland as usual, deciding to reread Malleus's Ceremonial Robes vignette. Everything was going well until Leona and Malleus's argument as the scene transitioned to Malleus's groovy CG.
Leona: ...You thinkin' you're gonna get it next time? Well, sorry to break it to you, but no one's ever gonna invite you. The player's never gonna want to see you in those robes again, so just put 'em away for good already.
Malleus: ...... Have you finished being catty? Wild beasts certainly like the sound of their own howling. And they like seeing me in these too, you know. They've even added me as their home character in these robes.
That's odd... The dialogue is different. Why are they referring to you as the 'player' now?
Leona: Oh? I didn't realise you were so focused on trying to impress them, lizard.
The scene transitioned back to the Diasomnia lounge; Leona looked smug, and Malleus looked surprised, his arms crossed in front of his chest.
Malleus: Eh? That's not...
Malleus closed his eyes and uncrossed his arms, opening them again to a neutral expression.
Malleus: Maybe you're just jealous that they appreciate my appearance in my ceremonial robes more than they appreciated yours.
Malleus looked smug once again, grinning with a hand placed on his hip. Leona suddenly looked angry, his ears twitching in annoyance.
Leona: Huh?! And how do you know that they didn't appreciate my ceremonial robes more? Are you that full of yourself?
Malleus: ...If I was full of myself, I would deliberately go out of my way to take naps around campus and act abrasive towards everyone!
They both seemed to be getting heated now, Malleus had lost any trace of amusement as he looked angry.
Leona: Tch, well, you know what? I wasn't the one that magically grew 5 centimeters bigger as soon as the player started showing up!
Malleus looked shocked now, the accusation was completely unexpected for him, and for you too.
Malleus: Kingscholar...!
Lilia's sprite suddenly moved into frame, his hands on his hips as he had a neutral expression, clearly wanting to break up the fight.
Lilia: You two, this is-
He was cut off by Malleus and Leona speaking in unison, Lilia's textbox moving forward without you tapping the screen to continue at all. In fact, no attempt to reach the menu or skip past was effective, now you were locked in this interaction.
Leona & Malleus: This doesn't involve you!
Malleus: Taking out your own insecurities on others like this, you really act as young as your age, Kingscholar.
Leona: Me? Look who's talking you wannabe edgy bastard.
The screen glitched, the edges of the screen darkened and tv static played over everything for a moment, before disappearing in an instant, both characters looked absolutely enraged.
Malleus: Edgy? Apologies that my natural charisma is too much for someone of your mental age to comprehend!
Leona: See? Just saying that proves my point! Most people learn to get over themselves once they move on from Freshman year, you know.
Malleus: If you want to prove anything, then stop harassing others with your sickeningly obnoxious attitude! Do you think you can counterbalance your toxic personality just by dressing and acting favorably to the player?
The background was slowly starting to fizzle out as the static returned, the character sprites and the textbox were the only things unobscured.
Leona: Whoa, be careful or you might cut yourself on that edge, Draconia.
Malleus seemed to be much more riled up now, and Leona looked smug once again.
Leona: Oh, my bad, you already do, don't you?
Malleus: D-Did you just accuse me of cutting myself? What the fuck is wrong with your head?!
That's new... None of the characters have cursed in the game before, and now that the vignette has gone off the rails, anything could happen. Your screen continued to glitch, everything around Malleus and Leona was getting fuzzy with more static, only their sprites and the textbox was able to be seen.
Leona: Yeah, go on! Let them hear everything you really think! I'm sure they'll be head over heels for you after this!
Malleus looked surprised again, now seeming to actually acknowledge you now.
Malleus: (Y/N)...? He's just trying to make me look bad...
He now addressed you by name, well the name that you put into the game for the protagonist anyways. His tone was strangely meek, unlike that of his usual character, his formal way of speaking has disappeared, now focused on defending himself to you, until Leona cut in again, also addressing you more directly.
Leona: That's not true! He started it!
The screen glitched again, two boxes appeared in front of the characters, one read 'Malleus' and the other read 'Leona', one on top of the other as you now had a choice to make.
Which will you choose?
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soaked4mk · 2 months
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(Mk1)Flirty intro dialogues
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-Suggestive Content-
Johnny Cage,Kenshi Takahashi,Kung Lao,Tanya,Syzoth and Liu Kang
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Johnny Cage 🎬
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★ Johnny: “on a scale from one to ten, you’re a nine, and I’m the one you need.”
-Y/N: “No, I’m the one you need to leave alone.”
★ Johnny: “Did it hurt when you fell from hea-“
-Y/N:*rolls eyes* “that one is so over used,cage”
★ Y/N: “I don’t think you can take me”
-Johnny:*smirks* ”oh ho, is that a challenge, kitty?”
★ Johnny: “You, me, and a fancy dinner date” *wriggles eyebrows*
-Y/N: *cocks eyebrow* “Was that asking…or?”
-Johnny: “please” *😩🙏🏼*
★Y/N: “…Johnathan Carlton”
-Johnny: “Future Wife” (Husband/Spouse)
★Johnny: “So… any answers on you being in my movie?”
- Y/N: “I already told you, most likely not the big screen”
-Johnny: “Oh no honey, I wasn’t talking about that movie”
★Johnny: “Just one chance Y/N, I promise you won’t regret it…”
-Y/N: *smirks* “I’ll consider it…”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Kenshi Takahashi 🗡️
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★ Kenshi:*lightly shakes head* “I do not understand what you see in cage”
-YN: *shrugs* “me neither”
★ YN: “I’m so,so sorry I wasn’t there when-
-Kenshi: “You are not to blame, dear.”
★ YN: “So the sight of sento…”
-Kenshi: *smiles* “Lets me admire your beauty in an amazing, new way”
★Y/N: “I can’t wait for you to see my new moves”
-Kenshi: *sarcastic* “har-har.”
★Y/N: “you won’t be able to see me coming”
-Kenshi: “really? What a shame”
-Y/N: “I-…” *😳*
★Kenshi: “you truly are a sight to behold”
-Y/N: “you flatter me, swordsman”
★Kenshi: “Your kombat skills are quite admirable.”
-Y/N: “as are yours,Kenshi”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Kung Lao 🥟
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★Y/N: I’m gonna do Madam Bo a favor, and beat some sense into you.”
-Lao: “Don’t threaten me with a good time”
★ Lao: *chuckles* “So now we’re on ‘friendly sparring’ terms?”
-Y/N: *rolls eyes* “if that’s how you wanna put it”
★ Y/N: “I do appreciate a man with a good work ethic”
-Lao: *smirks* “of course you do.”
★ Lao: “How about after this spar… we go out for a bite?”
-Y/N: *shrugs and smiles* “loser pays”
★Lao: “I can’t wait to have you pinned down”
-Y/N: “that sounds…”
-Lao: “tempting? *smirks* I know.”
★Y/N: “You need a humbling experience.”
-Lao: “Whatever you say, short stack.”
★Y/N: “Aren’t you cocky?”
-Lao: “And single.”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Tanya ☀️
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★Y/N: “I like what I see…”
-Tanya: “ditto”
★Tanya: “Are you ready to prove yourself, as a formidable opponent?”
-Y/N: “I have a few other things I’d like to prove to you as well.”
★Y/N: “Hold on…I have competition with mileena?”
-Tanya: “is it really a competition though?”
-Y/N “for you, yes.”
★ Y/N: “if you get tired, I have the perfect seat for you” *points to face*
-Tanya:*rolls eyes* “You have been spending too much time with that actor”
★Y/N: “As an Umgadi, are you really sworn to piety and chastity?”
-Tanya: “I am.”
Y/N: “damn it.”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Syzoth 🦎
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★Y/N: “Will you transform during battle?”
-Syzoth: “perhaps…”
-Y/N: “what about bed?”
★Syzoth: “Warm blooded creatures are fascinating”
-Y/N: “This, coming from the shape shifting lizard man?”
★Y/N: “I’m tempted to see the ‘beast’ you can shift into”
-Syzoth: “You mean my ‘true form?’
-Y/N: “True form? Even hotter”
★Y/N:*mocking tone* “Ssssooo, are you ready for thissss, battle?”
-Syzoth:*rolls eyes* “I don’t ssssound like that…”
★Y/N: “what do I have to do to get a little hiss” *puckers lips*
-Syzoth: *shakes head* “that was weak, even for you,Y/N.”
★Y/N: “Ready to taste defeat?”
-Syzoth: “I’m ready to taste you. ”
-Y/N: “I-uh..-uhm…” *😳*
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
Liu Kang 🔥
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ༶•┈┈⛧┈♛
★Y/N: “Did I find you this attractive in other timelines as well?”
-Liu Kang: *chuckles* “I will not reveal that to you, Y/N…”
★Y/N: “I fear for my future…”
-Liu Kang: “Do not fear destiny,Y/N. And have faith in yourself”
★Liu Kang: “Somehow, even in this timeline, you manage to to surprise me,Y/N.
-Y/N: *shrugs* “What can I say? I’m just that good.”
★Y/N: “You blessed me with this?” *points at face*
-Liu Kang:*shakes head* “you are simply ‘blessed’ in every timeline.”
★Y/N: “I wanna see who makes it out on top”
-Liu Kang: “Be careful for what you wish for,Y/N…”
★ Y/N: “I see the way your eyes light up whenever you look my way”
-Liu Kang: “Y/N, I’ve told you time and time again, those are just my eyes”
-Y/N:*shrugs* “Yeah…but those eyes linger, don’t they?”
★Liu Kang: “I will admit, myself in past timelines did find you…alluring”
-Y/N:”No way you just admitted that…”
︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶
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brittle-doughie · 2 months
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I think this is purposeful but I don’t want to assume anything, but I’m slowly realizing that the higher tier/more stronger a cookie is, the more possessive they are for Y/N Cookie. Like sure, they’re are definitely some outliers I can think of (Ex: Lilac Cookie and Kumiho Cookie are only Epic), but things go from 0 to 10000 real fast once you dip into the Legendaries and more. The Ancients, the Five Beasts, the Dragons, the Mercookies (hell honestly just Black/White Pearl alone is 😰), and legendaries like Sea Fairy or even Xylitol Nova get scary.
[TLDR: I kindly request a scenario or headcanons of the Legendaries, Ancients, Dragons, and Beasts making their respective cases as to why they deserve Y/N Cookie with them arguing and interrupting each other’s cases.]
The Originals
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They’ve been around the longest, so they’d be very familiar with you at this point and would know what your interests and needs are like, so allow them to-
HOLD IT!
The Breakers/Kingdoms
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Time and experience is an advantage, but tastes and interest do change from time to time, so that advantage can be rendered moot if they don’t catch up on what you like. The Ovenbreak/Kingdom legendaries are more up to date on what your preferences are, so they should be the ones to-
OBJECTION!
The Ancients
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But do the legendaries overall have the strength to defend you? The Ancient Cookies think not! Since they’re placed above the legendary rarity, they’re obviously proven that they are much more capable of using the power of their soul jams to protect you from any and all threats! Who could possibly do what they can’t-
TAKE THAT!
The Dragons
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The Dragons laugh (minus Longan) at the sheer jokes these cookies were flinging around. You needed more then some pathetic cookies in your presence to tend to all your needs and provide protection. Longan simply considered cookies to be beneath them and they should be to you. Don’t even bother with these-
HOLD IT! AGAIN!
The Beasts
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How could these overgrown lizards be calling cookies pathetic when the Beast Cookies have been around since the beginning! They know EVERYTHING on how things worked from long ago to right now! Clearly, every single one of these clowns in this room don’t even know what they’re saying, the Beasts are more then capable of taking you under their care. If not, Eternal Sugar Cookie isn’t afraid to go ballistic!
The Epic rarity Cookies? Ha! They can go sit in the lame table! The powerful cookies are talking here!
It was purposeful. :)
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polarspaz · 9 months
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Drake AU
Despite having difficulty with controlling his transformations, Tim hasn't experienced any other major difficulties with his heritage. Sure, he's got some new lizard like quirks, but nothing in his personality has significantly changed.
That's what he thinks until he encounters his first dragon.
He's summoned to a deserted warehouse by Bruce, Jason, and Damian. The three had just busted a Black Market exchange that involved magical animals and they needed his help with one particular creature.
He agrees, he doesn't mind helping, but he can't stop feeling like something bad is going to happen. The closer he gets the warehouse, the worse it gets, and by the time he's outside the building, dark, billowing plumes of smoker are wafting from the corner of his lips.
He doesn't understand what the hell is wrong with him, but all he knows is that something inside this place makes him really, really angry. Taking a deep breath, he tries his best to briskly walk in and act totally unaffected.
Damian, Bruce, and Jason are standing next to a rather large cage and gesture for him to come over. He does, until he see what exactly is nestled behind the bars. A red dragon.
white, hot rage fills his chest and Tim's never changed form so fast in his life. A bellowing roar rips from his throat as fire spills from his jaws. The dragon makes a horrid shriek and slams into the back of the cage, trying it's best to put as much distance as it can between itself and Tim.
Tim wants nothing more than break into that feeble cage and tear the frantic beast apart but he doesn't really get a chance too. Bruce throws a smoke grenade, starting Tim enough for Jason to barrel into him, pick him up like some oversized dog, and dart out the building.
It takes Tim a moment to collect himself and change back into human as Jason tries to regain his breath beside him. "We called you over here to see if you could talk to the damn thing! Not eviscerate it's guts and burn it to crisp!" Jason snaps. He trying to sound nonchalant but Tim can still hear the concern hidden in his voice.
Tim can only let out a small, nervous laugh. "Sorry Hood. Looks like Drakes and Dragons don't get along well."
((Drakes and Dragons do not mix in this AU. While dragons were somewhat big, they were more nimble than Drakes and could fly. However Drake were WAY bigger, way tougher, and way more aggressive. In fact most dragon deaths were caused by Drakes.))
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ghostieyanyan · 3 months
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Is it ok if I can ask for a yandere Rollo Flamme? I like the idea of Rollo because he’s already based off a yandere villain so it makes sense. And I think Rolli would like to get close to Yuu cuz they don’t have any magic so they’re seen as ‘pure’ in Rollo’s eyes. Maybe Rollo can be seen trying hard to control his urges at the fireplace or he captured MC and tried to burn them at the stake like in the movie? Your choice.
hehehe... why not just add salt to injure? what if mc has pyrophobia, a fear of fire?
~Let the fire purify you~
Yan!Rollo x Pyrophobia!Mc
Warnings: Fire, burning, kidnapping, anxiety attack, chains, gag, breakdown,
~~~
Rollo hated magic... with a passion. A passion that burned so bright that hurricanes, rainstorms, floods, and tsunami together couldn't extinguish this flame of pure hatred.
How does no one sees the danger of magic? How many lives have to be taken in the hand of magic for people to understand this is a problem? He guesses that its one of humanities sin, playing dumb, playing ignorant, until it becomes someone they care about that gets hurt. its always like that... why could people just see things through his lenses BEFORE someone got hurt...
But for now, he just has to do gods work for everyone else, until they see things his ways...
He had a plan. a plan that will solve this problem before it could get worst. The plan to get rid of magic, from one of the most powerful mages in twisted wonderland, to the student "prodigies" of that sick, sinful school, to the townsfolks of Fleur city, to every inch of Twisted wonderland.
With this crazy plan, he'll make, no, he'll force everyone to see how he sees life should be. he didnt care on who got hurt-
until-
he met Night Raven College's gem in the rock, their Perfect. When all the students were introducing themselves, when it was your turn. He swore the world stopped and he would have swore on his life that he saw wings and a halo on you. You looked, spoke, and acted like an angel. you even allow these sinful... beasts... breathe the same air as you. then you have an ACTUAL beast as a familiar. don't tell grim that.
your heart and soul must be made out of pure gold. he has to protect it at all cost. he will use his own body to shield you from magical blast and then some to keep your purity in tact. he will move mountains and redivert lakes, rivers, seas, and oceans for you. Rollo Flamme will make you into his deity that he worships.
~
All the students decided to split into groups and explore Fleur City, after they got changed.
to say Rollo thought you looked breathe taking in your glorious masquerade outfit was an understatement. he was about to come up to you and compliment you, maybe even starting small talk with you but a certain lizard decided to be the first to do so...
Of course that monster would be charmed by an angel like you. Evil loves to tempt with good.
no matter, he'll just have to see you another time but if he gets too busy..? He'll make time for you.
~
Rollo lead you into his office, you didn't mind too much because he was telling you all about the school's history and art. it is a really pretty school, it gives very romantic feelings.
when you finally made it into his office, you froze at the doorway at seeing the fire place. Rollo quickly notices and puts out the flame with a very helpful near by bucket. You were grateful that Rollo was very accommodating to your fears.
you thanked him and sat down across from him while Rollo sat in his chair.
"I'm very sorry for asking you to meet me at this ungodly hour but i just needed your input on something and if i didn't ask you, i would have had a sleepless night tossing and turning." Rollo said as he got everything on his desk organized.
"hehe, its alright. I just happen to have a restless night myself.. but i don't mind the company."
"oh my that sounds awful. what seems to be troubling you?"
"w-well.."
It was really hard to tell someone you only just recently met that you had a "bad feeling" about something and how so far, in twisted wonderland, its always comes true...
"well.. i think... maybe, its just the 'sleeping at a new place' feeling and I'm just not getting use to it. but I'm sure its fine. heh.."
"hmm.."
Rollo seemed satisfied with that answer and continues, by leaning towards you on the desk.
"i know i asked you about this before, but id like to discuss it with you more in depth... hmm?"
since Rollo put out the fire place, there was only a small lamp on the desk to shine light in the room. you kind of wished that the fire place was still lit... cause everything in this scenario was telling you to run and never look back..
"o-okay..? what would you like to know..?"
Rollo smiled and leaned back into his chair.
"as a magicless student in a full school of magical.. mages, aren't you scared they might... turn and hurt you..?"
the way he worded that made you feel more unnerved.. you trusted your friends in Night Raven College. Even the ones that did try to hurt you, they still came to your defense and help and protected you when you needed them.. you trusted them with your life and having this man tell you "you shouldn't because they can use magic" was... laughable...
"no.. because they've earn my trust and I've earn theirs..!"
"Earned..?"
Rollo's face darkened as you stood up from the chair you were sitting in.
"I'm sorry Rollo. Thank you for your hospitality but i have to go."
you start walking to the door but stopped.
"with however you feel about magic, i wont sit down and let you disrespect them just because they possess a special ability and i don't. It doesn't make them less of a person. Magic or no magic."
you walked to the door but before you could even touch the doorknob, you feel a body press against your back, pinning you against the door. you couldn't even move, much less move the door.
"I'm sorry my sweet angel~... i guess.. I'll just have to show you myself then~"
you see a quick purple blur and then tightness around your throat. Rollo was using his signature purple and gold handkerchief to strangle you! you tried to struggle. you tired to jab your elbow into his chest but his uniform was too thick for it to do any good.
You started to feel light headed then everything you saw was slowly turning black. the last thing you saw was Rollo, and the insanity in his eyes.
~
you had so many questions...
why you? was it because you don't have magic so you were "easy"? aren't there other people in twisted wonderland without magic? you just happened to go to a school "for" magic users so of course you'll see it a lot.
what's so bad about magic? ya it almost killed you here and there but it also almost killed either the user or other people around you.. but afterwards everything would have been fine. Plus you didn't blame the magic for those situations. you couldn't even say you blamed the user. some deserved the blame.. but not everyone..
how did you get here..? probably from your big mouth, you should have been smart when you were talking to Rollo. he was already giving you weird vibes and you just had to make it worst
you had more questions but you knew none of them would get answered..
you started to slowly open your eyes..
where are you..? what's this sound..? why cant you move..?
you slowly looked around, you remember this place... Rollo showed you, with your friends. the big bell, the bell of Solace. you noticed that you were alone though..
you looked around some more, you looked out from where you sat on the floor. it was dark out but with an orange hue... was the sun rising..? what's going on?
you went to take a step, to look out but something stopped you. a cold hand..? no..? a chain?!
if you weren't fully awake then, now you are! the chain was short, at least 2 feet long from the floor, it was attached to both your ankles. you could only go so far out.
what happened?! what's going on?!?
you started breathing heavily, tears started to form. you felt so confused, so lost. someone, anyone, please hel-
"oh my dear! you're awake."
your blood became ice, you looked up to see an uncomfortably happy Rollo.. he had a basket of breads and fruits.
"i was so worried that you'll never wake up. I'm very happy you did~"
with a heavy chest, you spoke.
"what's going on, Rollo!? Why are we here? why am i-?"
"oh within time my dear angel~ we just have to wait for those flowers to do their miracles. in the meantime, eat. you've been sleeping for a while and-"
"flowers..? what are you-...? Rollo...."
you took a deep breathe to try to settle your nerves.
"Please, Rollo... I'm scared. please tell me what's going on."
he looks at you and sighed, placing the basket down on a near by table. He then walked over to you and sat beside you, motioning you to come closer to him.
You did. you don't really have a choice right now..
"I'm making our perfect little world my love~ our paradise~"
you looked at the man like he was crazy. he was, at this point. But he continues.
"the Crimson flowers, the one that looks like fire, the flowers i shown you when you toured the city, they have the ability to take a mage's magic until they are just magicless people.. like you."
you stared at him but he kept smiling.
"magicless.. like me..?"
"yes my dear, then everyone in this world would have to understand magic is like a poisonous weed that has to be pulled out. or it'll spread to the other crops."
you just stared. you couldn't bare to keep looking at him so you turned to look at anything else..
magicless like you... no.. this isn't right. this cant happened!
Rollo thought the conversation was over and sat up to get the basket.
"Before this started, i made sure to get some food. i thought you'll be hungry so-"
"...mon...ster..."
Rollo froze. he was facing the backet and didn't turn around.
"excuse me..?"
you stood up, leaning against the wall, as best as you could. You knew your big mouth was gonna put you in a tough situation again but- what were you suppose to do?
"you, Rollo Flamme, are a monster."
he slowly turned to you, his eyes screamed murder. even if your body is shaking, from fear, from anxiety, from anger, maybe all of them at once's, but you kept your eye contact with Rollo.
You knew a comment like that will hurt him. you knew you couldn't physically harm him but you just wanted to hurt him like he planned to do the same to everyone you cared for..
the silence was deafening.
Rollo took some slow steps to you and leaned down to your level.
"take. that. back."
"no. cause i didn't say anything wrong.."
you hear Rollo take a deep breath and he quickly snaked his hand to grab the nape of your neck. you let out a gasp, from the sudden movement. he straighten his posture and brought you to his eye level.
"it's seems that those... mages.. have filled you with their poison. I'll just have to purify you myself. don't say i didn't warn you, my angel.."
he dragged you to a window and made you look outside. the entire city was filled with those flowers but... the looks of those flowers... made it look like you were in the middle of a raging firestorm. you felt your stomach drop. you felt cold shivers, and you didn't even realized that tears were falling. when you looked more, you noticed that the "fire" was slowly climbing the tower you were in.
you were about to let out a blood curdling scream but you were stopped by Rollo tying that purple handkerchief into a makeshift gag for you.
After that, he threw you, face down into the ground. Your body was shivering from fear so intensely, to the point that it feels like you lost complete control over your body. you couldn't even fight back when Rollo tied your hands together.
"i, really, am sorry for this my sweet angel~ but i have to get rid of the poison that those mages put in you... you have to be purified."
Rollo walked off and came back holding a fireplace poker. it was glowing red and you could see smoke coming off of it. where he got that, you didn't know but your attempt to get away from him was met with a wall against your back.
you felt your head spin, you were trembling to no return, the hot tears wouldn't stop, and the makeshift gag he put on you was now soak with tears, saliva, and snot.
Rollo kept walking towards you, in an agonizing slow pace.
"don't worry, my angel love~ after this, all will be forgiven~"
when he went to grab your face, he-
"MC!!"
those are.. familiar voices.. you know those voices..
"tch.. i suppose your punishment will have to wait my love. apparently, ill have to finish these pesky mages off myself."
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frogchiro · 5 months
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I'm in love with how you describe the cod men as masculine testosterone-pumping beasts in your writing. But now I've gained a neurosis towards hairy men. I now follow not one, not two, but three blogs dedicated to posting pictures of muscular hairy-chested men.
Now everytime one of the blogs I follow posts a picture that vaguely looks like one of the cod characters. I have a knee jerk reaction to punch a hole in my wall. Thank you.
Oh my😭😭 BUT! I'm very happy about spreading the huge, burly man agenda!!
To be honest the CoD fandom awakened in me something that...I didn't knew existed. A monkey-lizard part of my brain that legit starts barking whenever I see any big burly dilf, like I'm not better than a man/j
Like,, I never knew I had a thing for chest and/or tummy hair?? Or dad bods?? Not to mention more niche things like a musky smell or just smell in general or or how a large man can manhandle me? Strength kinks goes brr
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Prompt: "…How’d you know I wanted this?" "Because I heard you talking about it on several occasions." "I didn’t know you paid this much attention to me." "—I don’t. You just happen to talk really loudly.”
Pairing: Idia Shroud x GN!Reader/Prefect/Yuu
Genre: Fluff, and slight crack because it's Idia <3
TW: NA
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"-And so, we shall celebrate this winter with a housewarden Secret Santa exchange!" Crowley smiled, golden eyes crinkling into happy little half-moons behind his mask.
The seven housewardens of NRC, joined by Ramshackle's Prefect for this particular meeting, looked at each other. Some with clear exasperation in their eyes, a few (namely Kalim) showing a little more excitement than the rest of their dour counterparts.
The Prefect sighed, sinking into their chair as if embarrassed beyond words as Crowley clapped his hands and stretched his arms towards them, proudly continuing.
"I must give credit of this splendid idea to our beloved Prefect, who told me about this adorable little custom they had followed back in their own world. Of course, being the kind and generous soul that I am, I wish for our Prefect to feel right at home here in Twisted Wonderland. I believe all of you wish the same, hm?"
Leona grumbled under his breath as he leaned back in his chair, tail swishing irritably. Of course the old crow goes and uses them against us, he thought to himself, watching as the others' faces immediately softened at that. No matter how much the seven housewardens of NRC hated working with each other, with the exception of Kalim who seemed happy to just be there, all of them would bear with it if it was for the sake of the Ramshackle Prefect.
Crowley didn't exaggerate when he called the magicless human a beast tamer.
"Fine by me, as long as I don't have to get somethin' for the lizard," he spoke, jutting his chin at Malleus as he frowned. The dragon fae narrowed his eyes at him, before turning to look at the headmage.
"As much as it pains me to admit it, I agree with Kingscholar," he said, voice low and serious. "That being said, I do hope that you would allow me to partake in this gift exchange with the Child of Man as my partner."
"Now, now, that isn't fair to the rest of us, Malleus. I would very much like to be the Prefect's Secret Santa as well," Vil hummed, raising a perfectly trimmed eyebrow as he crossed his arms over his chest.
"That's not how Secret Santa works," the Prefect sighed, before Crowley took over for them. "Precisely. And to ensure that everyone has a fair chance of being assigned as our beloved Prefect's Secret Santa, we will have the fairest means of competition possible!"
He took a box from under the table and placed it in front of everyone. "You all shall draw chits, and the person who's name you draw will be for whom you have to get a gift," he drummed his golden claws on the box as he pushed it in Riddle's direction.
"Mr. Rosehearts, if you would."
Riddle nodded, before putting his hand inside and pulling out a chit.
The process continued, with the Prefect being the last to pull out a name. Their eyes had widened on seeing what was written before they shoved the piece of paper in their pocket, refusing to answer Malleus and Kalim's questions of whose name they had pulled.
No one noticed the reclusive housewarden of Ignihyde slinking away in the shadows, the tips of his hair flaming a soft pink.
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"Why did I have to get them, out of everybody?" Idia groaned into his pillow. The one time he decided to attend a housewarden meeting in person, he had to be roped into what was probably going to be the most awkward bonding activity.
"I do not have enough XP to get the Prefect a gift for Christmas," he mumbled to himself, turning to lie on his back. As Idia stared up at the ceiling, he continued airing out his grievances to the techomantic machines in his room.
"If it was any of the others I could have gotten them something. What do I get them...?"
Idia let out another groan, dragging his hands down his face. Maybe avoiding them after his overblot wasn't such a great idea...
But how could he have brought himself to talk to them after the entire fiasco that was his overblot? If there was anyone who knew all about the effects of overblots on victims and the people around them, it was him. Besides, Ortho had become fast friends with them, so he could always keep an eye on their state through him...
"Ortho!"
The young humanoid poked his head in through the door, only to be met with the frantic and helpless eyes of his brother.
"Help me get something for the Prefect!"
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Idia sighed, wishing for not the first time and certainly not the last time to melt into the floor, if only to escape the stifling atmosphere in the room as the housewardens exchanged presents.
Distracted by the sight of ever oblivious Kalim handing a flustered Riddle an extremely expensive-looking tea set, he didn't notice when the Prefect snuck up on him.
"Hey."
"Sevens-!" He spun his head to look at them, eyes wide with shock and fear. "P-Prefect, you shouldn't creep up on me like that! That's t-too much for my poor otaku heart-!"
Idia's cheeks and hair tinted a light pink as they mumbled out an apology for startling him. They allowed him to calm down before speaking.
"So, who's the lucky person?" They asked, their gaze on the wrapped box in his hand. He felt his mouth dry, at a loss for words.
"T-this is, uh, it's for you, a-actually," he mumbled, feeling warm as he looked down at the neatly wrapped present before handing it to them.
The Prefect tilted their head, and Idia had to stop his squeal at how cat-like that action was. "You're my Secret Santa?"
Idia nodded, not trusting his words to be anything but a panicked jumble of how cute they were and how much he liked them and how he hoped they liked what he got for them because if they didn't then he would happily bury himself alive to escape the humiliation and embarassment and-
"What a coincidence! I'm your Secret Santa as well!"
"O-Oh." Idia's train of thought screeched to a stop, before roaring back and running at even higher speeds. Is this some sort of joke from the Seven? That just upped the difficulty level! Abort, abort mission right now!
They smiled, before pressing something into Idia's hands. The warmth of their smaller hands on his was equal parts comforting and panic-inducing. Had Ortho been there, he would have definitely remarked on his increased heartbeat and dilated pupils.
"I got you the merch that Precipice Moirai released recently. It isn't much, but..."
"Isn't much..? Wait, are you talking about those figurines they launched for their fifth anniversary?!" Idia's eyes widened as you nodded. "Even I couldn't get them anywhere because I was a bit late! How did you clear that quest so easily?!"
"Well... I entered the lucky draw they held just for fun, but ended up winning the figurines. And I knew that you wanted them, so-"
"How did you know I wanted this?" Idia asked. It wasn't his intention to be rude, but he was pretty sure that all of his groaning and moaning about losing the chance to own the ultra-rare, SSR tier merch was only heard by Ortho.
He watched as they hesitated before answering. "That's because... I heard you talking about it to Ortho a few times."
Idia's heart thundered in his chest. The Prefect was trying to not make eye contact with him, a clear sign that they weren't telling the entire truth.
"I, uh.. I didn’t know you paid this much attention to me"
"—I don’t. You just happen to talk really loudly and passionately about the things you like," they said, still refusing to make eye contact with him. Before Idia could tell himself that it was because the Prefect wanted to get over with this interaction as soon as they could, he noticed the darkness of their cheeks, and the colour on the tip of their ears.
"Oh. Well, thank you anyways, Prefect. I hope you'll like my gift as well," Idia said, an awkward, yet sincere smile on his face.
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Back to Masterlist...
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niqhtlord01 · 11 months
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Humans are weird: Renaissance Faire
Alien: Where are we going and why is there a sack over my head?
Human: I told you. Human: Our time traveling technology is top secret and we just can’t let anyone see it. Alien: I still call Hush-dush on your claim of time traveling- Human: *Removes sack* Human: Welcome, to the 1300’s of human society! Alien: *Sees surroundings and gawks* ---------------------------
Human: Mace or morning star? Alien: BOTH! ------------------------
Alien: Why do your people dress in metal clothing? Human: It’s called armor and meant to protect us. Alien: Protect you from what? Human: *Points* From that. Alien: *Turns to see another armored human approaching someone from behind and then wailing on them with mace* Alien: Does that happen often? Human: Often enough my friend. ----------------------------
*Pair sit down at table* Human: *shouts at bar keep* Two muttons and ales for us. Alien: What the florp is “Mutton”? Human: *Whispers* I have no idea. --------------------------
Alien: I think I see other human time travelers. Human: What? Alien: Yes. Alien: They carried scanning equipment and were talking into communicators. Human: Oh god damnit. Alien: You know them? Human: Yeah; they’re a bunch of nerds following a prime directive to kill fun. ---------------------------
Alien: So the purpose of the sport is to ride atop beasts and try to knock your opponent off with a wooden toothpick? Human: Pretty much. Alien: That must be the stupidest sport I have ever seen. *silence* *Silence* *silence* Human: You want to join in don’t you? Alien: Yes please, very much. --------------------------
Alien: Where are the fire breathing flying lizard creatures? Human: You mean dragons? Alien: Yes, those things. Human: *Thinking fast* Human: We wiped them all out in 1100, so you won’t see any here. Alien: Darn. *Giant mechanical dragon slowly passes by breathing fire* Human: Oh no…. a survivor! -----------------------------
Alien: Who are these brightly dressed creatures? Human: Fairies, faye, goblins, trolls, etc. Alien: Why didn’t I see any of them in the future? Human: Yeah, after the Disney hunts of 83 nearly all mythical creatures were driven to extinction. -----------------------------
Human: Crossbow or regular bow? Alien with four arms: BOTH! -----------------------------
Human: Here, I bought you some clothes to disguise yourself in. Human: *Hands over clothes* Alien: Why are my clothes for a female? Human: Aren’t you one? Alien: No. Alien: Can you not tell? Human: No but that’s a good thing. Human: Most people in this time period can’t either. ------------------------------
Alien: Why do your people of this time speak so poetically? Human: Our language was more wordy back then. Alien: Think you mean more eloquent. Human: Shut up you scrub. -------------------
Human: Sword or dagger? Alien: Bo- Human: You can’t have both! Human: It doesn’t work that way, just pick! Alien: *Pauses* Alien: I pick dog armor. Human: ……….. Human: Why? Alien: It is covered in spikes and more dangerous than half the weapons I have seen today.
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Self-Aware! BSD x SAGAU Imposter AU Crossover ideas. Port Mafia Edition
Previous posts [I] [II] [III] [V] [VI] [VII] [VIII] [IX]
💉 Ougai Mori has his own nemesis. Zhongli hurt you and made you fear Mori's voice. Mori's goal is to destroy Zhongli's precious Liyue. Ougai will shower you with gifts, while you are recovering.
🍷 Even if all people with Geo Vision, Azdaha and Morax in a peak of his power will try to stop him, they won't stop Chuuya Nakahara. He won't even need to use the Corruption. He will make them pay for what they have done to you.
Chuuya will bring you gems he found in Teyvat. If the gems in question are valuable on Earth, he will sell them and will use the money on whatever you want. You can burn them, donate them, save them.
🌂 Kouyou Ozaki will become the nightmare for Inazuma's citizens. She and Golden Demon are silent and deadly. And no one will suspect a thing, Ranpo will make sure of it.
She will spend time with you, will let you pet Golden Demon.
🇫🇷 Paul Verlaine will become Teyvat Nightmare. Back in the app, he got his powers back, thanks to the messing with cards. If needed, he will unleash Demonic Beast Guivre on seven nations.
He will let you bride his hair. Makes sure, that you are healthy and happy.
🎧 Arthur Rimbaud is back to being a spy. He is ready to go to any nation he needs (even Snezhnaya). He and Verlaine will sabotage Dottore's work.
His hyperspace became one of the safest places for you. He will share his coat with you.
🏍️ Albatross is staying by your side, but, he is ready to sabotage any vehicle from Teyvat. He will take you on a motorcycle rides.
🧑‍⚕️ Doc is always checking your health. People of Teyvat take a number on you, and, while Yosano's ability did its job, he is concerned about mental scars.
🧊 While Iceman doesn't bear any grudges, he will make an exception for Teyvat's people. He will show them the hit man of Port Mafia.
He will listen to his records together with you.
🗣️ Lippman is doing his best in negotiating and tricking Teyvat officials. One day, even 'The Creator', that order to hunt you, will fall for his lies.
He will arrange spontaneous spa days for you. Your skin and hair were never that pretty.
🎹 Piano Man is using his skills to create fake mora. Mora are important not only as money, but in an alchemy. Soon Teyvat citizens won't be sure, if their money are real or not.
He will tell you funny stories he has heard. If it makes you happy, he will pronounce you an Honorary Flags member.
🧥 Akutagawa Ryunosuke and Rashomon like a black storm tear through Teyvat. Nothing will stop them. He feels guilty. He is your bodyguard and he failed you. He will undo his mistakes.
While on Earth, he won't leave your side. Will make hammock from Rashomon for you.
🔫 Ichiyou Higuichi is another spy. She will gather information from Liyue, getting close to Ninguang.
Will bring you fresh rumors.
🚬 Ryuurou Hirotsu is dealing with Treasure Hoarders and other criminal organizations. Black Lizards knew, how to show low criminals their place.
He will tell you stories about his youth (some of them are fictional, but, he is happy, when these stories make you smile).
🔪 Gin Akutagawa is a spy in Inazuma. She will get into Narukami Shrine as one of the shrine maidens.
She and Akutagawa will spend quiet evenings with you, watching movies.
🩹🧲 Tachihara Michizou is overworked. He is dealing with criminal organizations of Teyvat as Port Mafia member, and with official organizations of Teyvat (Fatui, Knights of Favonius...) as Hunting Dog. He won't stop. He wants to make them pay. Tachihara will use his ability to destroy factories.
🍰 Elise is staying near you. She is making sure, that you always have snacks and water. She will let you choose her outfit, take her to a shopping trip. She will listen to everything you say.
Waiting for the day she and Mori will face against Zhongli.
💎 Karma is reading you your favorite books. Doesn't matter, if the book is boring or scary, he will read it to you. Always worried about you.
⭐⭕ Kyuusaku Yumeno are waiting. From time to time, they are called by Mori to take a stroll in the main city of random nation. And every time, the stroll ends up in injuries. Not Q's.
They will try to make you smile. Offered you to play or cuddle with their doll.
🍋 Kaji Motojirou will drown Teyvat markets in lemon bombs. And, until his command, they won't detonate. He is waiting for a signal.
Kaji will show you easy and interesting scientific experiments.
🍛 Oda Sakunosuke is taking care of you. While he is ready to go to Teyvat, he decided to spoil you and make happy.
_____
Tag list: @withered-blossoms
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lexsssu · 6 months
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Season (Childe | Tartaglia)
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TAGS: Childe/Dragoness!reader, a/b/o, heats/ruts, pregnancy, smut, oneshot Ao3 ver.
“Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again—”
“Fuck you, Tartaglia”
“Fuck me yourself, girlie. Or are you too scared because you’re a little lizard instead of the big bad dragon you keep saying you are~?”
You grit your teeth and huff in annoyance, crossing your arms as you tried in vain to ignore the shit-eating grin present on the Fatui Harbinger’s face.
“In your dreams”
“But you’re already in my dreams, girlie. And don’t even get me started on the kind of dreams you appear in, buuuuut let’s just say it involves a lot less clothes and talking~”
“Why you…!”
The ginger-haired male grinned as he nursed his bright red cheek, blue eyes never leaving your form even as you left in a furious huff. He knew you wanted him as much as he wanted you, the heady scent of an aroused omega that lay just beneath your own natural scent of smoke and flaming flowers.
You’ll come crawling to him soon enough.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And apparently he didn’t have to wait too long.
Spring itself had creeped in once more and with it, the inexplicable urge to mate. Just as animals hurriedly chirped, squawked, built nests, and all other ways to attract a possible mate, so did those born as alphas and omegas feel the stirrings of their primal nature trying to break through the surface.
Despite how much humanoids liked to think that they were above mere beasts, their secondary nature proved time and time again that they were merely rational animals capable of being as depraved and feral as any beast. For someone who was more in tune with their beastly nature, (You who proudly flaunted your draconic self as being a full dragon who merely chose to take on a more human form), made this season particularly unbearable.
“Well, well, well will you look at that…” the Fatui Harbinger licked his lips as his eyes darkened and dilated at the sight of you writhing against your bed in nothing but the thin piece of cloth that passed for smallclothes in Liyue. “Seems you’re having a bit of trouble there, girlie. Lucky for you I was passing by Wangshu Inn for some official business when I smelled how...distressed you were.”
“Is there anything I can possibly help you with~?”
If he didn’t have any self-restraint then he’d have rushed into your room the moment he first caught the scent of your heat, of your pheromones that beckoned him to partake of the sweet slick that dripped down your pussy which begged to be filled by a hard, alpha cock. Childe was already rock solid the moment he knew you were here, but he held himself back because he knew that the rewards he would reap from his small sacrifice will be worth all the wait.
You knew that this world had such a thing as secondary natures, namely Alphas, Betas, & Omegas. You’ve heard and read content that revolved around such a thing, but actually waking up in such a world and becoming a part of this dynamic was another thing altogether.
You knew that Omegas felt terrible during their heats without a partner to alleviate them, but archons above you didn’t know it felt this horrible!
Your body felt scorching hot, your throat felt absolutely parched, and the constant stream of wetness that had undoubtedly ruined your sheets was simply unbearable. Sadly, without an alpha to tend to your body’s needs you were left in agony for the better part of an hour already.
Mayhaps whatever beings had hurtled you through time and space into Teyvat felt sorry enough at your suffering, because you smelled Childe even before he opened the door to your room. You don’t even question how he managed to come in when you always locked the door, because all you wanted at this point was for him to quell the heat that threatened to consume you.
“Ch-childe...please…! It’s...it’s too hot!!!”
“Too hot? Where is it too hot? You gotta be more specific or else I can’t help”
The smirking ginger looked downright devious as he stood perfectly still just beside your bed, making no move to get closer even as the bulge in his pants twitched and tented against the fabric. Being this close to you when you were so ripe, so fertile and ready to be taken by him was taking every ounce of self-control in him.
You were close to breaking down in tears as relief was so close yet so far in the face of this sadistic man. Serves you right for pretending that he didn’t make your heart race whenever he deliberately provoked you with his silver tongue, that he didn’t make the most primal side of yourself purr & rumble with satisfaction whenever he showed his capabilities as a potential mate. 
“Here…! It feels too hot and empty here!!!” You press your hand against your pelvic area, specifically the exact spot where your womb was located. “It wants...no, it HAS to be filled up or I’ll die!”
There was no other way to describe the entirety of your feelings right now. Your body was ready and begging to be mated until you were practically overflowing with your alpha’s cum and pupped without question.
His cock twitched involuntarily, straining against its confines even more fervently at your words. He probably shouldn’t become so impossibly aroused (at least more so than he already was) right now, but can anyone blame him when the girl of his dreams was in front of them and begging so adorably?
“Please...I want you. I’ve always wanted you, but was just too stubborn to say it. You’re the only one I want so please…”
With the last remnants of your rationality, you ripped off the dudou from your body and with shaking hands spread your lower lips to show him the slick that generously dripped out of your twitching hole.
“...fill me up with your love”
With your admission, Childe’s own final thread of self-restraint snapped as he descended upon you like the ravenous beast you’d made him into. Propped up on your knees, hands pinned to the bed by his own and fingers intertwined, the young man prodded at the spot where your scent gland was with his nose before teasing the area with gentle licks and light nibbling.
“Hey, make sure to scream my name, okay? Oh, it’s Ajax by the way.”
You had no time to digest this secret he so generously provided you, not when he’d plunged the entirety of his cock inside your pussy until you could feel the tip nudging at the entrance to your womb.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is only during the same season the year after begrudgingly acknowledging your attraction to the smooth-talking harbinger that you manage to find the time to meet with his family in Snezhnaya. However, you are not alone as you naturally brought along the product of your debauched and frantic mating the year before.
Teucer is over the moon at the knowledge of being a little uncle to the snoozing child in your arms, whereas the older members of Childe’s family including his older siblings and parents coo at your baby and congratulate you for taming the wayward boy you called your mate.
Such congratulations only received an eye roll from said boy, opting instead to possessively wrap an arm around your waist and prop his chin against your shoulder. He raised no objections from his family’s words seeing as they were all true anyway. Rather, he is comforted by the heat of your body and the sight of your precious child while surrounded by the warm wishes of the family that raised him.
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moonlight-prose · 7 months
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✧ TANGLED IN YOUR WEB ✧
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a/n: this fic fucking tested my sanity. i almost gave up on kinktober altogether cause of this fic. i had a lot of doubts about this story and it took me way too long to write, but it's finally done and we're here. miguel o'hara can truly snap my spine in half over a counter top any day. hope y'all enjoy the fic.
day nine - bloodplay | kinktober 2023
summary: "you’d offered up a simple challenge. minuscule compared to what you two fought out in the depths of the city tonight, and that’s why he played along."
word count: 2.1k+
pairing: miguel o'hara x f!reader
warnings: EXPLICIT SO MINORS DNI, bloodplay, tw blood, TW BLOOD, p in v sex, dirty talk but not really, tad bit of pain kink, biting, they're both equally unhinged in this one.
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The rain had practically soaked through your suit as you clambered through the partially open window of your apartment. Your mask discarded on the nearby table in favor of you grabbing something to drink. Preferably alcohol—partially to pour on the gaping wound on your side—but water would do. It had been a long night of patrolling the city. Originally you were looking forward to nothing happening, but then he hit. The beast that didn’t have a name yet.
You wanted to call him a dinosaur.
Miguel settled on lizard.
It remained an ongoing debate.
“You know I’m right,” you said, gulping down the tall glass of water as he swiftly crawled through the window. Sliding it shut behind him as if it were the front door.
“I’m not arguing with you anymore.”
Your lips pulled up, eyes tracking the way he leaned more to the right than the left. “Which means I’ve won.”
Crimson irises snapped up, something flashing in them that sent your insides haywire. “There’s nothing to win.”
Something he more than not ignored was the competitive streak that seemed to be riddled throughout his body deeper than the spider genes. Stubbornness was second nature to him. Which made him a great leader. Yet that was his own hubris in a fucked up nonsensical way. He refused to back down—even if it was over something small like this. Even you had to admit this was…minuscule at best. But you had taunted him with an intangible prize and he was intrigued to see what came from it.
“I’d like to win something,” you replied, reaching for the zipper on your suit and shoving it down. Drops of blood spilling onto the floor, staining the wood a darker color.
“You need to get patched up.”
The wound would heal eventually and with ease, but you’d been on the receiving end of Miguel’s need to keep you safe. Even if it meant sitting still and letting him bandage you up. Although you could call him a hypocrite for doing it—never allowing you to be the one who fixed him up. Who took care of him. You understood why it happened, why he felt this constant need to avoid helping himself.
He didn’t think he needed it.
You supposed that was the irony of being Spider-Man. You believed you could do everything on your own…until you couldn’t.
“I’ll make you a deal,” you said, leaning against the counter dressed in only your bra and underwear—fully aware that his eyes were dragging slowly along your form. Spreading a slow syrupy heat through your body. “You let me fix that wound and I’ll let you do what you want.”
His eyes darkened, lips curling up at the corners—his fangs poking out slightly. “You’ll let me?”
Even though he stood a few feet away you could hear it. The thud of his heart rate increased, his scent permeated your nose as you watched the calculation run through his mind. What would come out of tonight. You’d offered up a simple challenge. Minuscule compared to what you two fought out in the depths of the city tonight, and that’s why he played along. Why he took one step closer, his hands coming to rest on either side of you—palms pressing into the counter’s edge.
“Seems like a fair deal to me,” you said, pressing a finger to his suit. You could practically feel the hum of it come to life beneath your touch, begging you to ask for it to melt away and reveal his skin to you.
He huffed, his nose dragging along your cheek. “You and I have different meanings of fair.”
You smiled, sly and teasing as his lips brushed against yours, his heart now a loud echo in the otherwise silent room. “What are you talking about? I always play fair.”
“Mentirosa,” he scoffed.
Biting down on your bottom lip, you did what you could to stifle the laugh that nearly spilled free. “I’m not a liar—”
His hand curled around your jaw, thumb tugging on the small indent you’d left on your lip with your teeth. Crimson eyes traced the curve of your face, the way your pupils dilated at his touch. He could smell you in the air just as you could with him, and that only spurred him forward. Brought the desire forward in his mind until all he could focus on was the sight of you—the want clear in your eyes.
“What I want…” He curled his hand around your thigh, lifting it up slightly until you got the hint of what he was trying to do. Hoisting you up, he helped you sit on the counter, making space between your legs. “Is to take care of you.”
“Mig—”
You were cut off when his lips slid against yours, broad hands gripping your hips as he pulled you closer. Until the thin fabric of your panties was pressed to his suit—his hips canting forward when you gasped. But the sensation was nothing compared to the way his tongue licked into your mouth, spreading the taste of copper from where he’d taken a hit so hard his lip split. You licked it up, as if you were voracious for the taste. For any meager amount of him you could get, even if that was the crimson warmth that coursed through his veins.
Sucking his bottom lip into your mouth, you felt his claws scrape along your hips. Ripping at the fabric until you heard an audible tear echo in the room. The dampness now being replaced by wandering fingers.
“You ripped them,” you pouted, nails scraping along the back of his neck.
He shrugged, dipping his fingers down and spreading your pussy, the slick practically pouring out of you. “I’ll buy you new ones.”
“Mentiroso—”
A low rumble vibrated in his chest, his fangs scraping against your jaw—a slight sting of pain blooming along your skin. “Cuidado nena.”
A spark started in your body, causing your skin to feel warmer than usual. You wondered if it was due to the wound that still bled steadily—the red now staining his palm as he covered it with his hand. Fingers still slid along your clit gently, barely touching you with the pressure you needed, and you whined into his neck. Gripped his hair in one hand and slid your palm down to his own wound. The claw marks deep and jagged along his skin.
“Let me fix you up Miggy,” you pleaded, spreading your legs a bit wider, another wave of slick coating his fingers.
“Soon bebita,” he murmured, sliding two fingers into you down to the knuckle and punching the air from your lungs. “Gotta take care of you first. Make sure you cum.”
Your mouth fell open, eyes fluttering shut when he curled his fingers, pressing down on the spot that had your body jerking. Pain blossomed like a fucked up flower around your wound, blood streaking down to your hip as he gripped you. But that only served to string you up even higher. Make your head hazy with the thought of him being so hungry for you that he’d fuck you like this. Bloody and raw.
“Fuck—” You choked, fingers digging down into his wound and feeling the warmth of his blood spill into your hand. “Want you inside me—oh fuck—”
He grunted, yanking his fingers from your wet heat and slamming a button on his watch—his suit disappearing within seconds. Revealing the hard planes of his body to your gaze. You swallowed thickly in an attempt to form words, but all that escaped was a soft breathy moan. Barely anything, but he felt the sound shoot straight to his chest. The warmth you emanated into his heart now spilled out between his fingers, threatening to drown him.
“Shit,” he muttered, gripping his cock and pressing it against your clit, tapping it lightly until your legs trembled—head tilting back slightly. “You want me to fuck you nena?”
Digging your nails into his shoulder, you nodded your head, desperate to have him inside you. “Please, fuck please. I’ll let you do whatever you want—-”
He sunk into you completely, filling you with one thrust and grinning at how you cried out, your legs tightening around his hips. There was nothing that felt like this. The slight sting of pain that only added to whatever built in your body. His hand was still coated in your blood, spreading it along your thigh as he gripped you, teeth set and bared as his face contorted in pleasure. Your walls fluttered around him, squeezing his cock, and Miguel felt another shred of his sanity slip free.
“Oh—” Blood streaked across his chest when your hand pressed to his heart, feeling the heavy thud of it beneath his skin. You knew that a part of it belonged to you—beat solely for you.
“Already told you,” he gasped, setting a pace that had your eyes rolling back, a keening moan ripping from your throat. “Wanna take care of you.”
“You do.” Pressing your lips to his in a messy kiss, you felt his fangs scraping across your bottom lip. “Oh god you do.”
His thumb hooked onto your bottom lip, pulling at it slightly and watching your tongue peek out. Sucking his finger into your mouth. You could taste yourself on his skin, taste the tang of your slick. He pressed you even closer, his bloody hand curling around your back and keeping your chest pressed to his. If he listened close enough he could hear the beat of your heart—the sound mixing beautifully with the echo of his cock pounding in and out of you.
“Que linda,” he whispered, lips brushing against yours—hand moving to grip the nape of your neck. “My precious girl. Perfect fuckin’ girl.”
His fingers pulled from your mouth, pressing to your clit and watching your entire face go slack—body practically melting into his hold. The pleasure that coursed through your body was nearly too much. But you fought to keep your eyes open, wanting to watch him tear at the seams. See him lose what was left of his mind.
“I-I’m gonna…”
His fingers moved quicker, tilting your hips at the perfect angle, hitting a spot that wrought a cry from your lips. You broke apart in his arms, shattering like glass and moaning his name raggedly into his mouth. Your cunt pulsed, tightening around his cock, coating him in your slick. He growled, fingers biting into your wound as he sped up his pace, fucking into you and chasing his own release.
“There you go,” he groaned, feeling the tightness pull across his stomach, muscles taut and unrelenting. “You look so pretty when you cum bebita.”
“Yeah?” you whimpered, scratching your nails along his back, lips sliding along his jaw. “Bet you look even better mi vida.”
A sound tore from his throat—high and sharp. Eliciting a spark of heat to shoot down your spine. Setting your teeth into his shoulder you sunk them into his skin, feeling them create an indent and possibly a bruise. A mark that would be sealed into his skin for the remainder of the night. Something to show…he was yours.
“F-Fuck,” he spit, his hips colliding with yours one more time before grinding up into you. “Mi amor—“
The feel of your thumb digging into his wound, spreading the blood even further did him in. He came with a hoarse shout, lips pressing against yours, teeth clacking together roughly. You moaned softly, relishing in the way he practically spilled out of you, coating the coarse hair at the base of his cock.
He took in a deep breath, shuddering at the aftershocks, leaning his weight against you. The night had drained you both of energy—leaving you ready to collapse. But Miguel had yet to let you simply fall into bed.
Pulling out of you with a soft hiss, he reached behind you for the clean towel left there from this morning. He didn’t say anything as he cleaned up the mess you two made—pressing a quick kiss to your lips and tapping your ass to signal you should move. Which you did. Slowly. And only with the help of his arm wrapped around your waist—fingers splayed along your hip.
“Miguel,” you murmured, eyes drooping with exhaustion as he sat you on the bed, moving around in search of bandages. Still naked and covered in blood.
“One second…”
“Miggy.” You took hold of his wrist, drawing him close enough for you to pull him down for a kiss. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
The words were a soft brush of air along his cheek, but he heard them loud and clear. His lips pulled up into a grin, heart aching with the sheer emotion that mounted in his chest. Pulling him beneath the waves of something he once ran from. That fickle emotion that never sat quite right. Before you that is.
“Siempre mi amor,” he said against your lips. “Siempre.”
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gallusrostromegalus · 9 months
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What kind of wildlife is around in the Spirit World/Realm? The show had riding boars and river fish that I can remember, and if they grow things then the right kinds of little bees and gnats must be Around, but Just Those don't make for a full healthy environment, right?
We don't see a lot of animals in canon because animals are rarely a problem that shinigami have to deal with but some notes:
Thylacalines are not extinct in the spirit world! Actually, it's kind of a problem- Thylacalines will ONLY reincarnate as Thylacalines, and since there are none on earth, the entire peak population of them lives in the southern Rukongai. This is a problem unique to Thylacalines, as most extinct animals will reincarnate as other extant animals or humans or whatever, but nope. Not these assholes. Furthermore, killing a thylacaline in spirit world just makes it respawn elsewhere in the spirit world, as it was and with it's memory intact and those motherfuckers hold GRUDGES. They're also not native to any of the places the human souls in Soul society come from so nobody has a damn clue what they're doing here. Well, they know what they're doing- Mostly eating anything that will fit in their mouths and occasionally mauling people who don't respect their personal space- but why they're doing that HERE is unclear.
The Migratory Bird Act of Year 1066 was established shortly after the Seki-Seki stone wall and spirit barrier surrounding the Seireitei was established, and within the week, catastrophic numbers of birds died flying into the invisible barrier. The act was actually spearheaded by Yamamoto, who was immensely distraught by the unintentional carnage, and had to actually threaten the Central 46 with bodily harm to get them to legally change the Kido spell on the barrier to only block Sapient Souls and let the birds come and go as they please. It was a landmark legal case that established the soul society's remarkably robust environmental protections, and the Central 46's policy of isolation from the Shinigami, which would prove disastrously fatal to the organization almost 1,000 years later.
Many creatures we have on earth exist in Spirit world, but at massive Scale and varying degrees of intelligence. The Nago Boar was a wild boar of average porcine intelligence, but spectacular scale- 15 feet tall at the shoulder and many tons in weight. It was an infamous monster that made the Nago region borderline uninhabitable from it's rampages. It was one of the rare animals that became the problem for the Shinigami, who tried in vain to kill the beast for the better part of two centuries but unlike a Hollow who acts on instinct and has a very breakable mask, the boar was quite cunning and ended up with three zanpaktou lodged in it's cranium to no ill effect before the Gotei-13 decided to just pay the remaining farmers to leave in 1219. It was slain by a hired swordsman protecting a geological survey in 1308, and the battle was immortalized in the Epic Multi-scene Screen Painting "The Slaying of The Nago Boar" by Minami Zasso, who was working as a surveyor and illustrator when he witnessed the event firsthand. The swordsman in the painting is unnamed, but there is a persistent rumor that the distinctive facial scar of the unnamed swordsman matches that of Eleventh Division Captain Zaraki Kenpachi, but that would mean the man is at least 700, more likely over 1000 years old! Surely not!
The Eleventh Division has another peculiar association with an animal of ridiculous scale. In 1272, the annual "Ranking Day" tournament (in which the members of the 11th division and anyone bold enough to take part would battle for ranked positions in the division- including the right to be captain) took place outside the Seireitei in a relatively isolated area of the rukongai because 1271's Ranking Day had turned into an outright riot that destroyed part of the city. The commotion and blooshed attracted the attention of a supernaturally large Monitor Lizard, who joined the fray without hesitation, and devoured the 4th Kenpachi. Having met the requirements of "Defeat the standing captian in combat in front of 200 witnesses", and because nobody was brave enough to remove the captain's haori from where the lizard had become entangled in it, Tokagero Kenpachi was named the 5th captain of the 11th division. Tokagero Kenpachi remained captain of the 11th division for an astounding 234 years, the longest reign of any Kenpachi, and via highly suggestive hissing and occasionally eating people she disagreed with, lead several important reforms within the division like "Pants Required" and "No showing up to work drunk" and "instituting the first 5-day work week and successful labor strike in Soul Society" though that last one was mostly the work of her long-suffering lieutenant, but her apparent taste for strikebreakers certainly helped the cause. Tokagero Kenpachi was lost in the infamous Tonsure Riots of 1606 when she vanished down an open manhole cover and into the sewers. No body was ever recovered, and her wherabouts remain unknown to this day.
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