#ANYWAYS if u have ANY thoughts or questions please bug me abt this
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hello! i hope u’re doing well and i really adore ur work, keep going! i was wondering if i could req chifuyu x fem!s/o who has a male friend she thought of him as her best friend until he started to hit on her and give her weird looks and stuffs /tries to flirt w her but she thought she was just thinking abt it too much and didnt want to say anything since she hates confrontations and thought she’s probably just being paranoid abt it but then chifuyu notices it so he does something about it? (i’m sorry if this is too specific or too weird, feel free not to write it if it’s too much! and if it is, i apologize for that!) have a nice day/evening<3
hi nonnie! i'm sorry this took me literally 2 months oops. please forgive me!!! anyways, here it is! i hope it's to your liking! since it's sfw minors can rb + like, but please don't follow or else i'll have to block u ):
warnings: fluff, one-sided pining, f!reader, violence (chifuyu knocks him out lol), final timeline!
wc: 1.1k
“i’m sorry, could you repeat that?”
chifuyu cocked his head, he couldn’t help listening intently, you were only outside the store door. it was like this everyday, your best friend would show up on your break time and spend all 30 minutes with you. chifuyu didn’t mind as long as you went back to work and didn’t bother the customers, but he found himself tuning in lately, noting the troubled look on your face when you would walk in.
“I said,” your best friend started, “you look really cute in that apron, you should wear it more often.”
you scoffed, “you mean, my job uniform?”
“it doesn’t have to be this apron,” he says, looping one finger underneath the strap, “it could be any. like.. a maid apron or something!”
you step back, gently pushing away his hand. something in you flipped, you felt it in your stomach, heavy and uncomfortable. you were unsure of him lately, maybe it was the way he was calling you more often, or maybe it was the flirtatious comments. there was, however, one thing in particular that bugged you, and it was the way he’d try to hold your hand as the two of you would walk home together. but still, maybe you were just being paranoid? best friends hold hands all the time… right?
you open your mouth, struggling to find the words to say, until a familiar head pops out from the store.
“time’s up,” chifuyu says, shooing away your friend with his hand. “get back to work.”
you nod, feeling a sense of relief as you give an awkward side hug to your friend and scurry back in without looking back.
“i’ll pick you up after-” your friend tries to say, but you’re already inside, hands clammy as you take your place behind the counter.
chifuyu follows you in, noting your fiddling hands and your eyes glued to the floor. “you okay?” he asks, grabbing a dustpan and broom.
you nod at first, before sighing and shaking your head. “can i ask you a question?” you start, before shaking your head once again. “actually, nevermind.”
chifuyu pauses, before shrugging and giving you an “okay.”
the rest of the day moved by in a breeze, it was a slow tuesday. you spent most of your shift cleaning and taking care of the kittens. you loved your part time job. working at peke j land was the best part of your day, the little kitten licks you’d receive each day was enough to get you by the stuffy customers and otherwise long hours. you were hired as a temp worker to fill in for another employee, baji, who was stuck crunching for his college finals.
as the sun dwindled down over the horizon, you put your apron back in your locker. before you walked out from the back room, you felt that familiar uncomfortable feeling. your best friend was going to take you home today. you texted him earlier, telling him you’d just catch the bus home since you were staying pretty late. he texted you back but you didn’t wanna see his response, leaving it unopened. hopefully, he wouldn’t show up. you peered over your shoulder, as your boss typed away on a laptop, probably business emails.
you wanted to ask him if he’d drive you home today, hoping to avoid your friend. but you stopped yourself, reasoning that you shouldn’t mix personal issues and work.
“i’m heading out, chifuyu! see you tomorrow.” you said, giving a small wave to his back.
“oh,” he says, before he swivels in his chair, grabbing his keys. “you want a ride home?” the laptop closes with a click as he gets up.
“you don’t have to..” you start, thumbing the strap of your back.
chifuyu shrugs, “the guys have been getting on my case for staying late anyway,” he jingles the keys in his hand. “let’s go?”
“okay,” you say, shyly moving out of the way.
it’s not terribly awkward to walk out with him, following close behind him. it’s reassuring, until you hear a familiar voice.
“hey, y/n!” it’s your friend, who seemed to have been waiting for you, getting up from his spot on the sidewalk. his smile falters when he sees the two of you, glancing between you both before extending a hand out which you shy away from.
he’s perplexed to say the least when chifuyu ignores him and says, “my car’s out that way.” pointing down the street. you nod, eyes glued to the floor as you mutter out, “chifuyu’s taking me home, you can go now.”
your friend steps out, blocking your path. “you’re coming home with me, i take you everyday.”
you shake your head harder, “no i texted you…”
“and i texted back letting you know i was coming back anyway.” he cuts you off, clear irritation in his voice. you’re shrinking, farther back as he steps forward and chifuyu’s had enough.
he sighs, “kids like you are so fuckin’ annoying.”
“excuse me?” your best friend asks, voice incredulous, “what did you just say?”
“i said,” he reiterates, using his finger to push back on the other man’s chest, “kids like you are fucking annoying.”
your friend scoffs, before grabbing your arm, “let’s go y/n, we’re leaving.”
“wait-“ you start, trying to plant your feet so that you won’t get dragged off. but he’s much stronger than you and you stumble forward anyway.
you feel a hand on your other wrist and turn back to see your boss holding onto you, before he steps in between the two of you.
“back off man,” your friend warns, clearly ready to do something stupid.
“y/n, do you wanna go with him?” chifuyu asks, eyes staring straight through you and only you, as if your friend wasn’t even there.
you look between the two of them before you shake your head. “no, i’d like you to take me home..”
“then there’s your answer.” chifuyu says, looking back at him. “don’t bother her anymore.”
perhaps it was ego that fueled your friend to swing his fist, but chifuyu was faster, too many nights spent sparring with kazutora, baji, and more had him well equipped for this. you winced hearing the connection of fist to jaw, the crack of bone, and the thud of a body on the pavement.
“alright, now we can actually go.” he starts walking off towards the direction of his car, before looking back at you. “you comin’?”
bewildered, you look at chifuyu, then back at your friend’s unconscious body, then chifuyu once more before asking, “um, we’re just gonna leave him there?”
chifuyu shrugs, “he’s a big boy, he’ll be fine.”
#tokyo revengers#chifuyu matsuno#chifuyu matsuno x reader#chifuyu matsuno x you#chifuyu mastuno x y/n#tokyo revengers fluff#pibby writing#i wasnt gonna write so much but i really did oopsie
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we all know kris can play the piano. but consider the following:
noelle plays the guitar. she’s been playing since she was little because her mother wanted her to learn an instrument and noelle wanted to learn the same instrument her sister was playing (dess learned guitar from rudy). she inherited her father’s old acoustic guitar after everything with dess goes down, but she doesn’t really feel comfortable playing it because of all of the Emotional Baggage. so, as a christmas present, her parents get her an electric guitar and an amp. she usually only plays when her mom isn’t home because she knows how noise travels through the house, and she teaches herself a lot of metal songs (to impress susie, mostly, but also bc she’s genuinely a metalhead and has been for years)
susie starts to learn the bass when she becomes friends w kris. not like they know how to play, but the dark world provides a plethora of musically-inclined people that susie never would’ve known before. specifically, i think it’d be funny if ralsei knew how to play string instruments? he probably plays some form of a lyre, but once you know one vaguely-guitar-shaped instrument you know them all. the reason susie picks a bass, rather than a guitar, is because she likes how it sounds. low and funky; the bass lurks in the background of every song, providing ample support to the much louder guitar riffs and vocal performances. and, in finding herself in this friend group she is starting to slowly accept as family, she realizes she rather likes not having to always be the loudest person in the group and that supporting can actually be...pretty badass. (plus she finds a bass for cheap on Monster Ebay, so she’s working with what she got)
berdly is a percussionist. this is HIGHLY indulgent because i used to play the drums, but i also feel like drums work surprisingly well for berdly? they’re more tactile and reliant on rhythm, which berdly would have more of an affinity for (being an avid gamer; a hobby that requires tactile use of your fingers). if hometown highschool had a marching band, berdly would be the drumline captain. he just has that vibe. he just screams percussionist in the high school band to me, i really can’t explain it. i also think it gives berdly the opportunity to really let loose in a way that he doesn’t allow himself to do. being the “smart kid” doesn’t allot for a lot of opportunities to go crazy or goof off, but sitting in front of his drumset for an hour or two a night gives him the privacy to really spread his wings (both literally and figuratively). he picks up a pair of drumsticks from the school when they Attempted to have a band class, and just...kept them when the course ended up falling through. his one and only School Crime. eventually, his father notices berdly drumming beats on everything and decides to buy him a snare, which then spirals into berdly being gifted a full drumset for his 15th birthday. it sits in the half-finished basement, along with a lot of the family’s storage, and berdly takes care in making sure his drums are the nicest thing in that room.
ALL OF THIS TO SAY: lightner gang garage band au when
#deltarune#kris dreemurr#susie deltarune#noelle holiday#berdly deltarune#kris deltarune#noelle deltarune#berdly#ignorance cloud on#PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. HEAR ME OUT. COME ON.#WHAT A GREAT WAY TO BOND!!!! TO PLAY SHITTY MUSIC IN A GARAGE!!!! LIKE ALL THE MOVIES!!!#but also i just like the idea of them all knowing how to play an instrument. not just kris.#noelle being the guitarist (and lead vocalist) is such a heelturn but it feels SO RIGHT FOR HER#like literally chap 2 was all abt her conquering her fears and standing up for what She wants. and to be CONFIDENT!!!!!#WHAT SCREAMS CONFIDENCE MORE THAN BEING THE GUITARIST!!!!!!#also i just think a bass works for susie. sorry but im right. im never wrong abt anything#and berdly being a percussionist is just :-) i want it :-) let him have hobbies#he learns game osts and plays them on the drums like that one streamer#also sing he has wing-hands or some shit i didnt wanna have to figure out how he'd pluck a guitar string or somethin. so drumsticks.#ANYWAYS if u have ANY thoughts or questions please bug me abt this#yes i do have other asks in my inbox to answer that are deltarune-related. yes i Will ignore them :-)#ill answer them eventually i swear i am just so stressed and sad and stress-sad
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a/n: tbh this takes place at like 5 separate times so uh sorry abt that. there’s no warning with this one it’s just lowkey sappy and gets kinda angsty for a sec in the middle lol (i did use like one or two medium level bad words)
word count: 1.3k
[18:13] ooooohhhh boy you were nervous. like, really nervous. you’d been dating wonho for a couple of years already and so you’d think you’d know how he’d react to just about anything but now that you’ve done it, you’re starting to second guess yourself.
so, here’s the thing.
you and wonho had been friends for a long time and - understandably - once he debuted you guys didn’t get to spend a lot of time together. but with him suddenly being gone so much, you realized you liked him. like really liked him. and although he couldn’t see you often or call since he didn’t have a phone anymore, based on the time you guys did get to spend together you kind of got the vibe that he liked you too.
for a while you guys walked the line of close friends to dating, but the uncertainty didn’t really bug you. you knew he was busy and probably didn’t need the stress or drama that would come with having a girlfriend and being an idol. besides, he really didn’t seem interested in anyone else so why put a label on it? or at least, you thought.
you were on your phone one night, scrolling through twitter when you got to some photos of the boys at an award show that happened earlier that night. at first you felt warm with happiness and pride. you were so happy for wonho getting to live his dream (plus the boy looked really good in a suit) but your chest quickly went hot with jealousy and anger when you saw not one or two but six different account post a picture of him being very close and very comfortable with a female idol. you closed the app and tried to calm down. why should you even care? despite all of the fantasies you’ve played over and over in your head, in reality you’re just his friend. he’d never explicitly given you any reason to think you two were anything more. felt that you had no right to be this upset, this possessive over him and yet here you were, unable to think about anything else.
it consumed you for days. your anger still had a firm grasp on you as you made your way to lunch with him later that week.
“y/n you seem kind of down, are you alright?”
“fine. peachy. why do you care?” you didn’t look up and kept playing with your food
“a-are you upset with me? we haven’t talk in like a week what did i do??”
“you know what, it’s my fault. i guess it was stupid of me to think we were anything more than friends but now i guess i know better. you’re a big idol now and i’m just your friend from grade school so if you want to go and be with another idol i get it.”
finally saying everything out loud made you more upset than anticipated and you started crying. you left money on the table and got up to leave.
“y/n what the hell??” but you were already gone
he leaned back in his chair and ran his hands through his hair.
once back in the dorm he couldn’t stop pacing back and forth.
“dude, you okay?” hyungwon asked from the couch, watching him as he casually ate potato chips
“honestly.. not really. i had lunch with y/n today and she blew up at me for no reason.” he kept pacing
“is y/n your cousin or ‘not-girlfriend’ that we all just call your girlfriend anyways?”
“wait, what? actually, whatever. the second one.”
“ahh. i think i have an idea of why she’s mad. did you go on twitter at all after the award show last week?”
“no....”
“yikes. alright follow me.”
a few minutes later wonho’s head is in his hands as hyungwon shows him all of the tweets of him with that idol.
‘ok wonho i see u’
‘ooohhhhhh i ship it tbh’
‘👀👀👀👀’
all posted with that same stupid picture.
“it’s not even like that! ugh this is so bad.” wonho put his head down on the desk
hyungwon nonchalantly popped another chip into his mouth “yeah i’d be mad if i were her too honestly”
wonho looked up from the desk “dude”
“what?”
“uugghhh” there was a thud as his head hit the desk again as he thought of how to fix this.
he eventually managed to get ahold of you and explained how he had his hand on her waist because she almost fell over and somehow someone caught the 3 seconds that he was holding her up and the pic spread like wildfire.
“see? i think this is all a huge misunderstanding”
“i still think we should take a break from each other. none of that changes the fact that i have feelings for you that obviously aren’t reciprocated.”
“hey, who said that? because i know i never did.” he took your hands in his “let’s just start over, okay? can we just start from the beginning so that i can properly confess to you and i can get this right? i really want to keep you in my life y/n, you mean so much to me.. can we please just start over from zero?”
you looked up and saw the sincerity in his eyes. you’d be lying to yourself if you thought you could be fine without him in your life so you took a deep breath.
“okay”
and as messy as it was, that was the start of a really honest and beautiful relationship. he wrote from zero shortly after that and your love for the song has remained unchanged since the first time you heard it. after thinking about it for a while, you decided that you wanted to get ‘from zero’ tattooed the inside of your upper arm. the song was something that both you and wonho will always cherish and you want to carry it with you always. you’d secretly worked with the tattoo artist for weeks to make sure it was perfect, and wonho even almost caught you when he came home to you looking at some sketches but you played it off as if they were your own.
as soon as he tattooist was done you rushed home, hoping to beat wonho. sure enough you did so you started making dinner, your nerves building more and more as you began to overthink. what if he hates it? what if he thinks it’s weird? i mean... he did write the song about you so it isn’t weird, right?
your uneasy stream of conscious was interrupted by the sound of the front door. you quickly wiped your hands on a towel and went to greet him.
“hey princess!” he hugged you tightly and kissed your cheek “dinner smells good”
“haha thanks...” your laugh was so nervous you knew he’d start asking questions so you quickly cut to the chase “so, uh. i need to tell you something...”
“oh my god, are you okay?? wait, are you pregnant????? oooohhhhh man oh no-”
you started laughing “what? no calm down” his whole body visibly relaxed “i just - well - i kind of - hmmm how do i? maybe i’ll just show you....”
you extended your arm straight to the side to reveal the tattoo, preparing yourself for the worst, but when you saw his face a weight lifted off of your shoulders
“oh my god... baby...” he awkwardly took your arm in his hands “can i touch it?”
“yeah just be gentle”
his fingers glided over the words, barely touching them. he was in awe.
“i had thought about this for a while and well, the song reminds me of how this all started and i just always wanted to carry it with me forever, you know?” you were still a little bit nervous
“thank you. this... means so much to me” he looked up at you as he set your arm down at your side “you mean so much to me”
you gave him a bashful smile before he kissed it away. you had fallen in love all over again.
#oh man this got way more detailed than i expected lmaooo#anyways i hope i understood this right??#tysm for requesting i rlly didn't wanna do that assignment lmao#request#girlbebe#wonho#monsta x#fic#timestamp#fluff#soft hours#angst
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Can u do all the odd fic questions on that ask post for perdition? Or really any of ur other fics, I just like hearing abt this kind of stuff
FYI THIS IS VERY LONG I APOLOGIZE
I’m putting most of it under the cut because I don’t want to clog up all the dashes…
1: What inspired you to write the fic this way?
What a question. I’ve answered something similar to this, mainly the question: What was your inspiration in writing this fic? And I’ve been pretty open about that, generally. (If you’re interested, there are a few longer posts about that and some other insights into my thought process linked here: x x x x x x )
But essentially, I wrote this fic because at the time I was going through a sort of similar situation to Chloe. I was kind of seeing this girl who had a boyfriend… it’s a pretty long and complicated story that I won’t go into for privacy’s sake (both hers and mine). But it wasn’t my finest hour, and definitely not something I’m proud of. So anyway, things had just ended with this girl and I was trying to work through some feelings that I had about it (a lot of anger and confusion and a little heartbreak, mostly), and I was looking for a character/pairing to write this specific situation for, and Bechloe kind of just… came to me. Like it just fell into my lap. And it made more sense than anything else, and when I started writing it just… poured out of me. Like I wrote the first four chapters in a feverish two days where I basically couldn’t stop typing.
But I’ve gotten a lot of questions about why I chose to write the fic the way I did. The question I get most often is basically, why did I write the fic from Chloe’s POV exclusively? Especially during the early days of Perdition, before I wrote the Beca interlude chapter, I had a LOT of people who were practically begging me for Beca’s POV, for her side of the story, for some explanation as to WHY she was doing what she was doing. And I was really hesitant to do that, because I was hesitant to break from the fixed person, singular POV. And I want to explain why. I know I have before, but I want to do it again.
I wanted to write Perdition from exclusively Chloe’s POV because I wanted the story to really focus on her emotions and her involvement in the affair. I feel like so many cheating stories are from the POV of the cheater, or the person being cheated on, and rarely on the ramifications felt by the person who’s being cheated with. I wanted to explore that dynamic.
But I also really wanted to focus on Chloe as a person and as a character. I felt drawn to her as a character partly because we know so little about her in the movies. Beca is the main character, the audience’s established perspective, so we know a lot about her and how she thinks and operates. Because Chloe was basically a blank slate, I felt like I could dig deeper into her character and imagine a lot more backstory for her. I wanted to explore her as a character, and as a writer I felt like she really offered more opportunities than Beca.
I eventually wrote the Beca POV chapter because I really wanted to make sure that both Beca and Chloe were sympathetic characters. I wanted to emphasize the fact that Chloe was providing just one perspective of the affair, and because of that, she was somewhat of an unreliable narrator. I wanted to emphasize that there were two sides to every story, and just because we’ve only seen Chloe’s side of things doesn’t mean that she’s blameless or that she’s completely right and has done nothing wrong. Though I wanted to focus on her/explore her journey, I didn’t want readers to think of her as a faultless victim. (I was also getting a lot of comments criticizing Beca’s character for being heartless/cruel, and I didn’t think that that was the case. I thought their situation was messy and confusing and hard on both of them, and I didn’t want people to think I was using her as a scapegoat to just like… assassinate her character.)
In my mind, no character is perfect. There’s no such thing as a black-and-white situation. No one is inherently good or bad. They’re just people, who make good and bad choices, who make mistakes, who let things get out of hand. I really wanted to be clear on that. So I ended up breaking with my plan and writing the interlude chapter. I think, in the end, I’m glad that I did.
3: What’s your favorite line of narration?
Good Lord. This fic is so long… There are so many lines I like. How do I even pick?
I have a couple favorite lines of narration. These are just some of them (unsurprisingly, a lot of them are chapter summaries):
From Chapter 1:
(Earlier in the night Chloe stumbled over to Beca on swaying feet, grabbed her hands, and proclaimed that they were going to be “fast friends,” and Beca laughed and winked at her and made some joke about being naked and Chloe felt her stomach bottom out so suddenly that she wondered if she was tipping over backwards.)
From Chapter 4:
Fat Amy showing her vag to the leader of the Free World is not exactly how Chloe envisioned starting her year.
From Chapter 6:
But when she’s on that stage, performing for all those people… when she starts to sing that song, especially in the wake of their fight… something grips her. She feels this pull, this swell of romantic energy like she’s in the midst of a goddamn fairytale, and then she just…
Well, does she have any choice in the matter, really?
(He’s the acapella boy and she’s the acapella girl. This is their story.)
From Chapter 6:
She tries to say everything in that kiss that she’s never had the courage to say. I’ve missed you and I love you and I’m willing to try and I’m sorry and I don’t deserve you and Please just wait for me a little longer.
From Chapter 7:
The summer heat is oppressive in North Carolina. Thick air that feels like soup; slogging days of unendurable murky, foggy, wet waves. When it isn’t raining, the sun beats down against the tops of heads and the backs of necks, cooking cars and superheating pavement, scorching the flesh of bare feet that slap against the ground. The smell of freshly mown grass, new mulch, and — further towards to coast — salt spray permeates everything. Sun screen and bug spray make skin sticky; mosquitos flock from person to person in droves, only driven away by rare and brief breezes off the water. The air feels stagnant and heavy, the days endlessly long.
From Chapter 10:
Beca’s music has always so upbeat, so lively, so full of joy and energy and reckless abandon, all about pounding bass notes and soaring vocals, all about mixing together as many songs as possible until the artistry verges just on the hint of chaos.
From Chapter 11:
She bared herself to the entire world. She exposed every bit of her dirty laundry to millions and millions of people for them to look at, pick through, and analyze. She did the one thing she hates most in the world to prove to Chloe that she can, that she wants to, that she can be a new person, that she’s changed, that secrets and lies are all things in her past, and her future is an open book.
Of course. It’s for her. It’s always been for her.
From Chapter 12:
They’ve been together for a year, Chloe’s been living in LA for eight months, and for the past two months or so she’s taken up a near-permanent residence in Beca’s home. She already owns half of the shoe space, half of the space in the bathroom cabinet, and half of the drawers in Beca’s dresser. Her keys have a permanent spot by the door, her soy milk a permanent spot in Beca’s fridge. Her work schedule is stuck on the wall next to Beca’s calendar. Beca’s Netflix queue is full of Chloe’s favorite shows, Chloe’s favorite movies. All but Chloe’s least-favorite outfits have migrated to Beca’s closet, and all of the books she’s currently reading have found a place on Beca’s bedside table.
5: What part was hardest to write?
The hardest part to write were the years where Beca and Chloe didn’t talk. There were whole chapters that just dealt with Chloe and her depression, or Chloe and her inner monologue, or Chloe and her new life in Denver, or Chloe and her love life sans Beca. And those chapters were hard to write. I was really worried they would be boring, or that they would turn off readers, or that people wouldn’t respond well to Chloe dating other people, or that people wouldn’t like the inclusion of original characters, or that people would get annoyed with how they dragged on, or that people would object to the distinct lack of Beca for so much of the story.
But I really felt those chapters were necessary, because I really felt that Chloe had to learn for herself and grow and get better on her own before she and Beca could reconcile. I believed that, in order for Beca and Chloe to truly be together in a healthy way, they had to become healthy on their own. They couldn’t just be together because they fell together, but because they chose to be together. I wanted them to fight for each other, to realize that they weren’t using each other as an emotional crutch or a way to avoid dealing with the problems in their lives, but to realize that they actually helped each other, that each made the other stronger. So despite the fact that those chapters were really hard to write, I’m really glad that I did write them.
7: Where did the title come from?
This may be embarrassing to admit, but I actually have an entire document just of fic titles/small little ideas/summaries/exchanges of dialogue. So the title Perdition had been sitting around in my mind for a while, way before I even got the idea for the story. I was just waiting for the perfect fic to use it on. (I’m kinda obsessed with pretentious titles, if you guys haven’t noticed.)
As I explained in the summary for the story, “perdition” is a word that comes from Christian theology, and it means: “a state of eternal punishment and damnation into which a sinful and unpenitent person passes after death.” And I liked that; this idea that both Beca and Chloe understood that what they were doing was entirely wrong and unjust and, if you subscribe to that sort of belief system, “sinful”, but that neither of them really cared. They continued on with their affair with (seemingly) unrepentant, reckless abandon. I thought it summed up the themes of the story nicely. The beginning of the story, at least. The set up for the dramatic arc.
9: Were there any alternate versions of this fic?
While I knew how the fic was going to end when I started writing it (generally, at least, I knew that Beca and Chloe were going to end up together, and the Grammys acceptance speech was actually like the 5th scene I wrote), it still went through a lot of different drafts. In an early version of the story, Jesse was the one to walk in on Beca and Chloe mid-sexual encounter, but I ended up really hating what the scene said and how it treated Jesse as a character (and the fact that it took away Beca’s agency by denying her the chance to confess), so I got rid of that quickly.
Originally, Emily played a much smaller role in the story. But I liked her as a naïve sort of foil to Beca + Chloe; I liked her optimism and her almost-hero-worship of the two of them; and I liked being able to build a mentor-mentee relationship between Beca and Emily. So she ended up playing a bigger role in the story than originally intended.
In the original draft of the story, there were much fewer chapters. I think originally I only planned on having 6 (4 years of Beca + Chloe’s affair, 1 year apart, and then the chapter where they get back together), but I’ve never been very good at keeping my writing succinct. It just kept growing and growing and by the end I doubled the chapter count. But it felt right to me. All of the additions felt necessary. In the end, I don’t mind the length, because I told the story I wanted to tell.
Raquel was also a pretty late addition to the fic. I toyed a lot with the idea of having Chloe only go on a few unfulfilling dates with men during her time apart from Beca, because a part of me liked the idea of having Beca be her only female long-term romantic partner. But then it felt like I was trying to erase the bisexuality I had established for Chloe early on, so I wrote her a girlfriend. And then I ended up REALLY liking Raquel, so I gave her more and more to do, and I made their relationship stronger and stronger.
Originally, I wanted Chloe to be dating someone when she started having romantic feelings for Beca again, and then realize that she’d only ever really loved Beca etc. etc. etc., but in the end I didn’t like what that did to the story. It felt too much like the beginning, like Chloe hadn’t grown enough as a character. And besides, that’s just not realistic. Very few people have like… ONE true love. And in the end, I wanted Beca and Chloe to choose to be together, like I said. I wanted to have the possibility for other partners, the possibility for happiness elsewhere, and then have them decide to be together anyway. Because they wanted to, because that’s what felt right. So I felt like it was really important to build up their friendship again from the ground up. They couldn’t just leap into romance again after so long and after everything they went through. They needed a strong foundation first. And to have Beca see Chloe happy in a relationship, happy without her… I thought it was important for them to both know that it was possible.
11: What do you like best about this fic?
There are a LOT of things I like about this fic. I like its perspective, I like what it says. I like that it’s almost entirely from Chloe’s POV. I like that it’s a character study more than anything (which is something I’d never previously done). I like that it’s really long (and that I ACTUALLY FINISHED IT which didn’t seem likely for a while). I like that it takes its time, that it really builds to a natural conclusion, that it doesn’t feel rushed or hurried, that there’s a payoff that feels earned. I like all of that stuff.
But what I like most is the impact it’s had. I have gotten such extraordinary feedback from this story, things you guys wouldn’t believe. Not just comments and asks, but individual messages from people who have reached out to me and told me what reading Perdition meant to them. And that’s… I never expected that. It was just supposed to be a sexy little romp, something for me to work out my own feelings and practice writing some smut, and then it turned into this… behemoth of a story that SO many people read and responded to. And I never really anticipated that. But I’m SO glad that I wrote it. And I’m so glad so many of you liked it.
13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn’t listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?
People have asked me this question a lot! And I definitely did have a Perdition playlist or two going while I was writing it. It’s funny to look back on that music now, because it’s from like over a year ago and I don’t listen to those playlists often anymore, but I’ll link them below if people are interested:
https://morningsound15.tumblr.com/tagged/perdition-playlist
(tagged/perdition-playlist)
15: What did you learn from writing this fic?
What a question. And a hard one to answer. I think anytime with writing, you end up learning a lot. About yourself, about your characters, about your own personal style. I do believe that writing this story really made my overall writing stronger. The fact that I was able to finish it and give people the ending they wanted was also huge for me, since most of my other really long stories are still unfinished.
I’m not 100% sure what I learned from writing this. I think I’m still learning. Every time I go back and reread it (and I did go back and reread most of it to answer these questions) I feel like I draw something new from the story. And every time I answer questions about it I feel like I understand my writing in ways I never have before.
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one week since u looked at me
James and LIly fight and it’s 100% the other person’s fault, and everyone is just a little bit unhinged.
3371 Words
For @expressopatronum, who requested a jily fic based on the Barenaked Ladies song. :D
tues.
James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: well. Fuck.
James Potter: im broken up
James Potter: literally
James Potter: and metaphorically
James Potter: and every other kind of shitty ally tbh
James Potter: hello?????
James Potter: im in Crisis here
Peter Pettigrew: we know, mate. You ok?
James Potter: how??
Peter Pettigrew: well…
James Potter: she texted u???
Remus Lupin: she texted me
Peter Pettigrew: then he told us
Remus Lupin: wtf, Prongs
James Potter: u believe her???
Remus Lupin: didn’t say that, mate. Just a weird situation, yeah??
James Potter: Weird = shitty, then yea. her fault tho for being so dramatic!! And do u arseholes have a group chat w/out me???
Sirius Black: nah. y would we do smth like that to u prongs. go chill @ mine. AND i for one am being a good mate and withholding judgment. (except on evans cos shes clearly at fault here)
James Potter: damn straight she is. 100%!!! and im already @ urs, actually. where r u tho?
Sirius Black: alcohol
James Potter: Good Man
Remus Lupin: I’m getting pizza
James Potter: don’t bother?? never eating again
James Potter: PS no more talking to evans unless its for espionage
Peter Pettigrew: this should be fun
- - -
James Potter to Not Lovely Lily: ready for ur apology, like, whenever, babe
James Potter: no?
James Potter: sirius’s sofa is super fucking cosy, btw
James Potter: PS whatever the current differences between us, pls dont stoop so low as to eat Mums biscuits
wed.
Lily Evans to StupidHair BigMouth: the biscuits were fucking delicious.
James Potter: WOW
- - -
Sirius Black to squatter potter: BABE. u know i theoretically want to be sympathetic to ur emo angst. or whatever. but y the FUCK r u watching x-files at half volume at 3:37 fucking am
James Potter: go back to sleep??
Sirius Black: fucking difficult w the light coming in under my door
Sirius Black: AND u mess up my recs w that shit
James Potter: ill tell pete u think x-files is shit
James Potter: PS dana Scully is /not shit
Sirius Black: the redhead???
Sirius Black: fuckall, prongs, if ur watching the show bc she has red hair
James Potter: im NOT. watching bc it’s a Good show.
Sirius Black: is not
James Potter: it holds up!!
Sirius Black: fine. im not arguing w u bc u cant take the blow of being wrong. i get it. but if u wank to sculley on my sofa, potter, ill end you.
James Potter: u wldnt
Sirius Black: imported velvet. vintage. custom ticking. turned legs. u know how i feel abt that lounge, Babe.
James Potter: /i wldnt
Sirius Black: …
James Potter: k. ill stop
Sirius Black: damn straight. uve been broken up for a day??
James Potter: 31.25 hrs. n we ARENT broken up
Sirius Potter: whatever. make up with evans or im kicking you out
James Potter: what happened to being a good mate????
Sirius Black: making up w evans is whats good for u
James Potter: u know its not that simple.
Sirius Black: if ur waiting for me to ask u WHY its not simple….dont. shldve done that when lupin was here.
James Potter: i /did. i still need to process tho.
Sirius Black: process alone, w the volume below 12 & ur prick IN your pants!
Sirius Black: and reset xfiles to s6e4
- - -
James Potter to #1 MUM <333: mum…you up?
Euphemia Potter: no
James Potter: …wow
James Potter: Good to know whose side ur on???
Euphemia Potter: I’m staying neutral.
James Potter: can you at least make me more biscuits?
Euphemia Potter: no. I gave her permission to eat them.
James Potter: p sure that’s taking sides!!!
James Potter: are u talking to her right now???
Euphemia Potter: Her mother has passed, dear. She relies on me for situations like this.
James Potter: WOW
Euphemia Potter: weren’t you just here asking for your grandmother’s engagement ring last week?
James Potter: yes!!
Euphemia Potter: Perhaps you should come over for breakfast tomorrow.
James Potter: no
James Potter: …ill think about it
- - -
Sirius Black to squatter potter: DID I JUST HEAR U FUCKING GROAN
thurs.
James Potter to Babe: listen…sorry abt the sofa thing
James Potter: maybe outta line a bit. I wont watch xfiles tonight tho
James Potter: i can come over tonight, right???
Sirius Black: imported vintage italian velvet lounges b4 m8s
- - -
James Potter to sailor moony: and fuck, like. she deadass looked at me and said ‘im angry’ what does that even mean??? How can she be angry at an accident??
Remus Lupin: Prongs. uve told me this 12 times
James Potter: seven. my soul splits every time I tell it, so id know
James Potter: fuck
James Potter: LUPIN
James Potter: if u dont answer ill stop supplying ur Weetabix Habit
Remus Lupin: You wouldn’t. You know why??? its 3 in the morning. I didn’t sleep bc two nights ago u were making us listed to the Lily Playlist. Last night Padfoot wldnt stop texting me abt u watching x-files (???) and tonight…I NEED SLEEP
James Potter: ur right. im not heartless.
James Potter: unlike evans
James Potter: i /am desperate tho
James Potter: if u answer, i wont come over and bug u in person.
Remus Lupin: Deal. So what else did she say?
James Potter: thats it!
Remus Lupin: normal voice, or scary quiet rage voice?
James Potter: wld i be texting u @3am if it was the normal one?
Remus Lupin: fair point…just surprised that’s all she said, considering you killed her pet
James Potter: first mum, now u?? i went to breakfast w/ her this morning and she AMUSHED ME!! ddnt even make bacon! a two hr lecture and No Bacon.
James Potter: over a fish! Remus Lupin: lily’s fish. which u killed.
James Potter: it was a tragic, unavoidable accident!!
James Potter: ac·ci·dent 1. an unfortunate incident that happens unexpectedly and unintentionally, typically resulting in damage or injury. google does not lie.
James Potter: anyway thts what i get for doing Chores and trying to help around the flat
James Potter: i can feel ur disapproval, lupin
James Potter: she LOATHED that fish. she called it fish! how attached can u rlly be against smth u havent named. petunia pawned it off on her! she made Flushing jokes on the regular?? rly… was doing her a favor
Remus Lupin: please for the love of god tell me u didn’t tell her that
James Potter: which part
Remus Lupin: all of it. Any of it.
James Potter: well.
Remus Lupin: fuck
James Potter: so can i come over?
Remus Lupin: …
James Potter: can i come in?
Remus Lupin: where are you?
James Potter: ur front steps
James Potter: i need Emotional Support, lupin
Remus Lupin: fine
fri.
James Potter to grlFIEND: still cant believe you tackled me to the ground this afternoon??? I should report u??
Lily Evans: I should report you??? trespassing? it’s how I’d treat any common burglar!
James Potter: 1. u know I’d be an Excellent burglar. don’t be harsh.
James Potter: 2. its not trespassing when i pay ½ rent
Lily Evans: Technically yes, but morally??? NOT ur flat
James Potter: you know how skeevy my teeth feel w/out my water flosser? which i still don’t have btw??
Lily Evans: I was so mad I threw ur attachments out, so
James Potter: Wow
James Potter: my rug burns are FINE, btw
Lily Evans: I had to buy a black dress, sew a veil, host a FUNERAL, write a EULOGY, send petunia a video of the whole thing, and ur whining about rug burns and a water flosser??? Lmao ok.
James Potter: lmao IM the dramatic one? OK
Lily Evans: Read 1:35:10 AM
James Potter: u actually have to, like, turn on the function for it to be a burn
Lily Evans: Read 1:36:14 AM
James Potter: …
Lily Evans: Read 1:36:25 AM
- - -
James Potter to Babe: u talking to me yet???
James Potter: it was an Accident
Sirius Black: Read 1:45:15 AM
Sirius Black: go to petes
- - -
James Potter: to pumpkin eater: PETE. My dude.
Peter Pettigrew: no.
James Potter: listen. black + lupin have fallen into dishonor
Peter Pettigrew: they haven’t
James Potter: they HAVE in collusion w/ one another and on their own, betrayed and disowned me. whts Dishonor if not that??
Peter Pettigrew: sirius told me u were wanking on his velvet sofa
James Potter: SCULLEY
Peter Pettigrew: i get it, but u know how he feels about that. second only to his motorbike.
James Potter: …
Peter Pettigrew: and u, ofc.
James Potter: he and remus both think x-files is shit
Peter Pettigrew: fuckers
James Potter: so can i come over?
Peter Pettigrew: go HOME, prongs. to ur girlfriend.
James Potter: p sure she dumped me???
Peter Pettigrew: 1. she LOVES ur fucking face. she nearly snogged it off in FRONT OF ME just last week?? shes just as miserable as u are.
Peter Pettigrew: 2. I live w/ my mum
Peter Pettigrew: 3. U rlly have a wanking problem.
Peter Pettigrew: 4. My mum has never seen a penis and I wont let the first one she sees be URS
James Potter: idk how to tell u this, pete, but shes a MUM, so…shes had kids…
James Potter: we can smoke
Peter Pettigrew: come in thru the back
- - -
James Potter to sailor moony: fuck
Remus Lupin: …you know my name isn’t actually ‘fuck’ … right?
James Potter: Remus. Fuck.
Remus Lupin: isn’t pete watching you?
James Potter: he passed out.
Remus Lupin: dammit. where are you now??
James Potter: in a tree. like…u want to do a thought experiment with me?
Remus Lupin: …
James Potter: sorry, shldnt have phrased that as a question. Emotional Support.
Remus Lupin: you aren’t allowed to use that anymore.
James Potter: k, so like, if a person, however well-intentioned, right? like if they did something that hurt someone else. even if they didn’t Mean to. like maybe it’d be decent of them to say sorry??
Remus Lupin: you think???
James Potter: yea
James Potter: i mean…im Not saying that person shld. cos shes still bang out of order w/ the toothbrush. + the biscuits. + poisoning u and my mum against me.
James Potter: *their mate and their mum against them
Remus Lupin: you were saying…about the thought experiment?
James Potter: oh, like, well that person might owe the other person an apology
James Potter: *might. maybe. like 5% maybe
Remus Lupin: i would agree, but more like 95%
James Potter: just smth to Think about. Ya know??
James Potter: OK, heres the thing. its not hypothetical. talking abt evans ofc. cos like, i laughed, right? at her. while shes…crying. But!!! i smiled because it is kind of fucking funny??? shes overreacting + SOBBING. but, like, also cos shes so Cute and she did that elbow thing she always does when shes mad?? cannot convey how cute she was!! its so funny? that was, like, sure, the Wrong thing to do, because it just set her off More, and. ANYWAY, I could kind of…maybe…see how she would be upset by my laughing. or think I was laughing at her pain when really it was her anger. which doesn’t Sound like a good distinction, but it is a Solid distinction. ANYWAY, like, u know I have No Poker face, right?
Remus Lupin: you do wear your heart on you sleeve
James Potter: we both know ive a LONG history of taking off my shirt
Remus Lupin: really? you, james fleamont potter, have a history of overreacting and making poor decisions and have impulse control problems? i had no. fucking. idea. completely shocked.
James Potter: imma ignore that u used my middle name + the bit abt the impulse control
Remus Lupin: apologize to her??
Remus Lupin: actually…get your thoughts together a little bit more than this, maybe? then apologize
James Potter: gotta figure how to get down from this tree first
James Potter: thx for the talk lupin
Remus Lupin: night, prongs
sat.
James Potter to Maybe Lovely Lily: can I come home yet???
Lily Evans: lmao
Lily Evans: when u get ur shite together, yeah?
James Potter: u have all of my shite at OUR flat???
Lily Evans: delivered it to remus
- - -
James Potter to lupin, fuck: u have my stuff????
Remus Lupin: this pile of shite in my living room? yes.
Remus Lupin: come collect immediately pls.
James Potter: shove it in the spare closet
Remus Lupin: spare closet is full of pete’s contraband he doesn’t want his mum to see.
James Potter: right. well, go through and take what you want as payment.
Remus Lupin: already did. btw why do you have a sumo suit?
James Potter: she brought over the sumo suit???
Remus Lupin: yes.
James Potter: FUCKING WOW
James Potter: btw…how did she look? what all did she say? (not that I care!!!) but is she despondent w/out? dark circles? facial blemishes b/c she’s been too distracted to adhere to her rigorous skincare regime? did she even have the energy to contour??
Remus Lupin: she looked ok .
James Potter: whts that mean
Remus Lupin: i mean she looked fine.
James Potter: no tear tracks?
Remus Lupin: no.
James Potter: damn
Remus Lupin: she didn’t look great though? honestly, prongs, i think she’s just waiting for you to apologize.
James Potter: not a chance????
Remus Lupin: dammit. you were almost there last night
James Potter: ????
Remus Lupin: the thought experiment?
James Potter: i got high with pete last night
Remus Lupin: should’ve known.
James Potter: and I might have, except she gave back the sumo suit which is an act of war????
Remus Lupin: james…do not blow this…more out of proportion. ok?
James Potter: id never
Remus Lupin: BLOCKED
- - -
James Potter to #1 MUM: can i at least have the biscuit recipe???
Euphemia Potter: sent
- - -
James Potter to DEFO NOT LOVELY LILY: the sumo suit??? really???? u know how to cut deep, evans
James Potter: i thought this was going to blow over quickly but apparently no???
James Potter: PS I hope u like The Pic I posted on Instagram (dnt pretend like u arnt stalking me)
Lily Evans: u wldnt
James Potter: …already did
Lily Evans: btw I had to throw ur fave Tupperware away. contaminated w/ dead fish germs.
Lily Evans: like, I almost kept it and dint tell you, but my Conscience (a lil voice that tells u right from wrong) smote me, so….
James Potter: W O W. you kept a dead body in my fave Tupperware???? the one that keeps my soup warm???
Lily Evans: Read 11:13:09 PM
- - -
James Potter to Pete McGeet: listen: Chickity China the Chinese chicken
James Potter: and u…have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin’
James Potter: or smth
James Potter: anyway…wanna go to KFC???
Peter Pettigrew: what in the ever loving hell, prongs
James Potter: i think im cracking up
James Potter: defo pissed.
Peter Pettigrew: its sad. And a little bit pathetic.
James Potter: pathetic enough to stay at urs again tonight??? U know abt the others. And Mom wont let me on account of the principle.
Peter Pettigrew: if u bring KFC, yes
James Potter: me + the colonel are in a taxi now…
sun.
James Potter to Rude Remus: MATE
James Potter: got a burner phone
James Potter: PS imma pretend u ddnt block me
James Potter: anyway coming to go through my stuff, ok?
James Potter: Promise ill avoid ur sofa
Remus Lupin: sure thing.
- - -
James Potter to Lovely Lily: babe
James Potter: see u typing. u can pull that Read shit or whatever, but, like, I was sorting thru my stuff @ remus’s??? + I shldve done it yesterday….
James Potter: (dont tell him was here PLS bc hes pissed at me abt smth stupid)
James Potter: ANYWAY underneath the sumo suit – nice diversion btw, that super pissed me off – was a pack of brand new flosser attachments. + my flosser. u even rinsed it???
James Potter: like, Thanks
James Potter: coming home bc u obviously dnt Hate Me Eternally like u said before
Lily Evans: i never said that! v frustrated w/ u but i don’t Hate u.
Lily Evans: listen. I know uve wanked (and cried??? oh yes. Pete told me.) urself out of all your friends’ good graces, so
Lily Evans: u can come back to the flat
Lily Evans: its, like, on a conditional basis
Lily Evans: we aren’t shagging
Lily Evans: u live on the couch
James Potter: we have a guest room???
Lily Evans: couch or bust
Lily Evans: you can use the guest bath tho
Lily Evans: and the kitchen…if you cook enough for me, too
James Potter: cool
Lily Evans: cool
- - -
James Potter to M8S B4 D8S: fuck yessssssssssss
James Potter: have won!
James Potter: maybe technically it started as my fault? like 15%
James Potter: shes all but apologized!
James Potter: not formally ofc, but i know what she meant
James Potter: knew if I held out long enough, shed come around
James Potter: lupin…have been living in ur car btw….i owe u for crisps detailing
Remus Lupin: ew. Happy for u prongs. Gtfo of my car.
Peter Pettigrew: go home n wait for her to apologize
Sirius Black: wait before u apologize tho 2
James Potter: obvs (+ sorry abt ur velvet sofa Babe. ill pay to get it cleaned)
Remus Lupin: literally going to murder u all
mon.
James Potter to #1 MUM: I know ur asleep, but I made u middle of the night biscuits.
James Potter: they r UTTER shit but I did Try
James Potter: thing is…u might have been a little (tiny bit!!) right about some of the things you said. Maybe.
James Potter: anyway, am Home and will probably apologize to lily…soon
James Potter: and i love u and sorry i was so pissy abt no bacon
- - -
James Potter to Lovely Lily: evans
Lily Evans: potter.
Lily Evans: how did u sleep?
James Potter: ok. u?
Lily Evans: meh
James Potter: i know id mentally said i wldnt do this for another day, on Principle, but Mum guilted me into it even tho she is still sleeping. Except she has a Point. So heres the thing ….
James Potter: and also moony said…
James Potter: i kind of, like,
James Potter: its like this, lil…
James Potter: well
Lily Evans: jfc babe don’t strain yourself, yea?
James Potter: u know what im saying tho
Lily Evans: i do
Lily Evans: and same. (ish.))))
Lily Evans: it’s like this, james. i….
Lily Evans: fuck
Lily Evans: we rlly have to get better @ this.
Lily Evans: I KNOW it was an accident. and also, like, I sort of apparently overloaded the aquarium power cord in the first place w my hair dryer??? so…yeah
James Potter: fuck
Lily Evans: yeah….and I shouldn’t have, like, tackled u
James Potter: it wldve been hot if not for the rug burns
James Potter: and also i was insensitive w/ the laughing thing
Lily Evans: wait!! We hve to STOP
Lily Evans: can u not apologize yet. not fully to the point where I want to bone u??
James Potter: ….was kind of on a roll here tho
Lily Evans: yeah but we have to stop
James Potter: y???
Lily Evans: the longer we fight..the better the make-up sex is going to be, yea? science
James Potter: tru…but id argue good make-up sex now is better than Great, theoretical make-up sex
Lily Evans: that WLD be true, but i, like, ordered something online…
James Potter: something. or. like. Something.
Lily Evans: the Something u had bookmarked in ur private amazon wishlist hoping I’d find it
James Potter: stalker
James Potter: i love u….but i still think we should make up properly????
Lily Evans: no!!!! it’ll be here on Friday.
James Potter: i got u a new fish & everything!! named him eddie.
Lily Evans: nice!! but u know i hate fish. sold the aquarium to pay for the Something.
James Potter: well. Fuck.
Lily Evans: love you too
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school log #1
9-5-17
Happy last ‘first day of high school’ I’m finally a senior let’s fuck shit up.
Assembly: i came in and first went to hug taylor cause jahsbfjfaks i havent seen her all summer nd did i tear up? yeah kind of lmao i missed taylor sm what a gem. then i went by like. the squad (for memory reasons: ???? ppl on the side, jade, bean, yadi, eren, rye showed up, dalon showed up, sammy showed up, ashley showed up, might be missing someone?). eren gave me a bitching smoothie (bless ty) nd i think we all just talked like we normally would. its nice to just slip into normal conversation with people wou havent seen in what feels like forever.
Hour 3 (Homegroup): sat in hg for like 2 hours. we got some new freshman of whom i only can name 3 because i missed the others names. nd i also only kno one of the sophomores by name cause i forgot the others. maybe we should talk w maya sometime? ive seen her around a few times and she looks like shes mostly alone? we got our lockers too. sike some middle schoolers took our lockers and now we have to wait until tomorrow to figure out if we can get them b a c k. then i knocked over the smoothie eren gave me nd like a little came out but not much so um thanks god. we filled out this helping sheet thing that were going to be checked on every monday soooo better keep up on work i guess. also there was a lot of talk of grilled cheese up the ass???
Hour 1 (AP Bio): i turned in my poster board and we just went over the same rubric we went over when i signed up for the class smh. doesnt seem like itll be hard tho? sammy might have to drop it if she doesnt do her entire thing over and turn it in tomorrow and even then he might say no. so heres to hoping. also sabastion sat by our table nd honestly w h y do we have to have mutual friends i hate my life.
Hour 2 (ROPE): went over like oNLY the autobiography part of the rope packet tbh. also amy said we should know who our thesis paper advisors are but 1. i didnt even know what the thesis paper was and 2. the day ended and i still have no idea who my thesis advisor is weLL GUESS ILL SUFFER. im worried i wont have a good autobiography and that i wont be able to keep up with rope, but if i just dont goof around (lol) then it shouldnt be a w f u l. i notice a big student mood is being like ‘i want to die’ when school starts but christ its not rlly that bad? u get a normal ish sleep schedule, its easier to hang out w friends imo, and the work isnt even that hard you just have to pay attention and do it. it kind of bugs me honestly when school breathes and someones like THIS IS THE WORST THING ON EARTH FUCK SCHOOL FUCK ALL THE WORK THIS SUCKS cause its literally not that bad if you just idk. dont goof off all the time. sometimes u can goof off im sure everyone does sometimes. just. do ur work nd dont get so uppity about it. also idk if nyone will even read these but this isnt directed at anyone.
Hour 4 (English 12): our class is huge lmao. sammy and i got seats by jimmy, josselin, and ariel but i think eren wants us to get to class earlier tomorrow so we can sit together w yadi at the back of the room. but we get out of hg when peter lets us out soooo we cant rlly control when he lets us out.
Lunch: there was a lil spider where i sit so i kind of shooed him away so i could sit and i ended up cramping a lot. the worst part abt school imo is the chairs are just as hard as the floor and i have awful pelvis issues so my entire lower half starts to freeze and lock up and it hurts rlly bad getting up or shifting after sitting still for a while, so i fidget a lot and shift positions a lot so i can try and reduce the pain. nyways i played music nd sidney nd alexis sat down by us and theyre really quiet (whenever i would see them in the halls on the way to class and they had a free hour or it was lunch nd id see them they were always quiet then too) and sidney left her chapstick and i hope she remembered to grab it (i told her at the assembly at the end of the day because i forgot to grab it to give back to her). i cant rlly remember what else happened honestly??? thats of noting at least.
Hour 5 (Free): eren and i are probably going to sit in michelles room for this hour since she has chairs and 3 hours in a row on the floor is going to bust my ass so bad. eren started doing work but we ended up just talking and eating and listening to a vine comp.
Hour 6 (Free): sammy came down and we did basically the same as the previous hour but more talking and laughing. i cant remember what we talked about tho?? or nything else?? (edit: we tlaked about fucking and spanx)
Hour 7 (Government): eren sammy nd i had put our stuff down in michelles room early to save our spots (but i bet ill be the only one still at the table tomorrow because they have to go to the front) and then eren nd i left to go to the bathroom then fill sammys water bottle and by the time we came back in michelle was like ‘please arrive on time’ like 1 we were in here first nd 2 the bathroom was packed nd were supposed to go between classes i couldnt piss any faster thanks tho. we got the syllabus and an intro to the class/classroom and thank god jared isnt in this class fuckkkk. also we have to do debates like in front of the class?? no t h a nk you i hate it
Hour 8 (Advanced Drawing/Painting): we just sat around ny amy was like ‘heres what well do’ but ariel sammy nd i basically talked the entire time we all know how art works.
Assembly: a final assembly to wrap everything up with all grades together (since middle nd high had separate assemblies this morning) and i dont kno if we got any important information i think it was just things only 6th graders nd new students need to know cause we hear the same spiel every year. then i guess we all left???
After School: my dad picked me up and hell be picking us up every day from now on (unless like smthn comes up u kno its whatever). he didnt say anything on the ride home unlike when he and mom would both pick us up and theyd both ask a lot of questions. i thought he was angry and i ended up being right. he and my mom got into a bad argument she told me later on and now shes changing the locks so he doesnt have a key. its kind of upsetting how she said i should be civil with like whoever my parents may end up dating nd the entire family and whatnot but she (vise versa) cant even be civil with him or the rest of our family so??? nice example you set for your kids, parents. anyways my dad is also apparently switching up stuff he says like what hell pay and what theyll keep asset wise and how theyd cooperate for our sake and now hes changing what he said during court and all this mess and i feel like hes doing it to spite my mom but hes also spiting us in the process because we rely on our mom. ughhhhh this is stupid difficult to deal w id rather just not have to hear this stuff but moms always on the phone talking about anything and everything and were forced to hear. nyways lol
#im going to put info here for future reference#day 1#tardy: 0#absent: 0#late: 0#im not counting kims class because i wasnt actually late k thanks
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