#ARTEMIS FOWL THE SECOND

[sketch-elf]

Too many people misread the original one and tumblr refuses to let you edit any part of a poll post so I'm remaking it.

#i didn't want to do this but 3 of the 4 people reblogging with tags where talking about the books and not artemis #and I realized not everyone might read the II as shot for 'the second' or even see it #so my autism couldn't handle it #so yeah uh lets try this again with clearer wording #sorry to the 111 people who had voted on the previous one #artemis fowl #artemis fowl ii #artemis fowl the second

[dragoneyes618]

"Not ducks. Please, not ducks. I was going to win the Nobel Prize."

Artemis Fowl II, The Last Guardian

#artemis fowl #artemis fowl series #artemis fowl ii #artemis fowl the second #the last guardian #it makes sense in context

[favficbirthdays]

Happy Birthday

Artemis Fowl II (1st September)

Artemis Fowl

#artemis fowl series #artemis fowl books #artemis fowl #artemis fowl ii #artemis fowl the second #fictional birthday #september #september 1st

[orangerosebush]

Butler learns of Grindr and then decides it is not for him on the same day. The whole "collects [one's] location info within a 100m radius of accuracy" dimension is, perhaps, Not Great for a bodyguard. However, Juliet discovers that Butler deleted the app before he even attempted to make an account, and she sighs. Beseeching her brother, she tries, "Look, with the whole... 'compromising our position', or whatever we're calling it: Artemis has lived a good... longish life. Maybe... it's time to let go," while Artemis makes a face at being discussed in much the same tone one deploys when euphemistically describing a pet about to be put down due to a terminal illness.

#Artemis did get her brother shot so in my mind Juliet has the right to joke about Artemis dying a looney tunes-style #death the second Butler looks away #do you ever think about how terrible Artemis was at age 13 to service workers... why did butler not step in as the adult every time #there was one of those 'no ice in my filtered water because i know the ice cubes are from tap water :)' moments... awful.... #artemis fowl

[little-mouse-adventures]

Loving how Butler spends the entirety of TLC not getting distracted from his job or protecting Artemis (not panicking when his charge and hand disappear courtesy of a rematerializing demon, stepping in front of Billy's rifle in the theater even when he has Holly's new helmet to play with, not taking his eyes off Minerva's chateau while Holly is infiltrating it, etc. etc.) and then the five seconds he does allow himself to be pulled from his responsibilities, everything goes completely pear-shaped for him. Those years in Duncade would've been brutal for him - if only he'd stayed focused, if only he hadn't let himself get distracted, if only if only if only.

#artemis fowl #domovoi butler #he would have HATED himself #decades of training centuries of tradition #and he throws it all out the window - literally - for a two-second lapse in judgement #he'd have been INCREDIBLY over-protective after that...

[hideyseek]

11 & 23 for the ask game!

thanks for the ask!!

from the love your fandom asks!

11. if you're a writer or artist, what fic or piece of art are you proud of making?

omg, writer, and yes, most things i write i'm decently proud of at the end (or i wouldn't post them). but i was just looking back over the fic i cross-posted from my fanfiction.net account. and at one point, i rewrote the lyrics of "black velvet band" to be about the life of the gruff mentor guy from ranger's apprentice, wrapped some fic around it, and posted that as my brother. i have a distinct memory of sitting at the coffee table at my grandma's house working lyrics out on a notepad, ahaha. anyway. some pretty great turns of phrase in those lyrics from tween!hidey that i'm kind of shocked to find still hold up.

(at the time i was simultaneously reading a ton of ranger's apprentice and listening to a bunch of irish folk songs from a cd my parents got from the farmer's market that i was obsessed with.)

23. the fandom you're curious about because of a mutual

well i think i simply must say bucchigiri?! thanks to crab and ki, i don't know what's happening over there but y'all seem to be having a great time, or mayb my condolences. that blue-haired glasses guy ... he intrigues me. though, i did receive a very impassioned description of tgcf from rnack earlier this week that is a close second.

#hidey speaks #ask game #naryrising #omg close second for fic i'm proud of is (unposted i think) but in sixth grade we had to like do vocabulary exercises or whatever #and like write sentences using vocabulary words from a word bank to prove we understood the words #anyway i fully turned in artemis fowl fanfiction :3 gunfight between holly short and whoever her evil commanding officer is iirc

[second-place-showdown]

artemis fowl ii (artemis fowl) preliminaries

artemis fowl lost to howl (howl's moving castle) in @beautiful-boy-bracket on TOP of losing in @ocd-character-polls and the DID character tournament (couldn't find the @)

"He's always a bridesmaid never a bride :(. Let my boy have one (1) W please. Just one. Please 🥺 let my boy succeed" -@white-boy-bracket

artemis fowl deserves a win against opal koboi (artemis fowl)

#prelims #second place showdown #howl pendragon #howl's moving castle #opal koboi #artemis fowl #artemis fowl ii

[solipseismic]

see the reason why i dont think the walrus poll is truly representative was bc i voted without a second thought*** for what i thought was the "underdog" (surely everyone will vote fairy thus it is more comedically valuable for me to vote with the .1 of the population who is voting walrus) only to find out the majority was voting walrus and i feel like a lot of people did the same thing* and this is literally The site for voter malware.** or whatever the term is for people voting wrong options for funny points

#*<- guy who vastly overestimates how normal hir own mindset is often to fatal consequences #**i know the term normally but my brain is deflated like a water balloon and i cba to do a stupid goog search #croidhe #***the thing is if i HAD given it that second thought i would have realized all of the above + also this is the artemis fowl weab site so-- #--OF COURSE everyone is voting for walrus however: i was barely running on .2 thought much less first and second #2024

[chronicallyzagreus]

I was so worried the Artemis Fowl books wouldn’t hold up all these years later but fuck are they good

#i just burned through the first and I’m starting on the second #now that I’m not in Artemis’s age bracket #I don’t really want to strangle him (at least not a lot) #I wanna give him a hug #(and so so so much therapy) #I adore the narrative voice so much #the last paragraph in the psych assessment in the artic incident #is amazing and inspired this post lol #artemis fowl

[hop-a-lot]

what do you think artemis' apartment would be like??

I always imagine he would have a vintage-chic parisian style of apartment, not the typical white walls they used to be but with grey-blue colour palette.

While this one is another style of vintage apartment (said to be located in Sweden!) This one seems to be more cozy than the former and I think he would find it comfortable and homelike.

#ask #artemis fowl #I'd love to live in that second apartment and I'm now projecting myself

[lamentable-comedy]

call me artemis fowl is such an insidious song because i don't even have to listen to it in order to get it stuck in my head. i just have to remember that it exists and then it'll be there the rest of the day

#seriously. it's the worst #artemis fowl #artemis fowl ii #i'll be like #oh yeah that song's a thing #and two seconds later it's #i will dominate your dirty little plan #DIRTY LITTLE PLAN

[seabeescribbles]

I've wondered for a while why like every other villain in the books has a moment where they think "What if I just kept this boy", and you just have to consider, well what if they DID just keep this boy. Things could go wrong so easily in every book and so many of the bad ends are just Villain Kidnaps Artemis Permanently (or semi-permanently depending on how one wants the story to go)

So I drew a few bad ends. I'm only marginally meaner to this teenager than the book series is I swear,

#tw injury #tw blood #blood #injury #artemis fowl #artemis fowl ii #artemis fowl fanart #artemis fowl bad ends #first one is atlantis complex and it's the least visibly interesting but that's on purpose #there's no more personality only magical rune #turnball is one of those villains and it's like okay whoa there #what is he going to solve your rubix cubes for you #don't you think your wife is going to question this #and then the second is jon spiro who I imagine would not want to just release artemis after kidnapping him #but killing him is kind of a waste if he can create advanced technology to sell for unlimited money #and the man isn't exactly nice #then the last one is the vaguest one but also the most interesting because I have no idea how to conceptualize his motivations for this #he's like presumably just to rub it into everyone's faces how powerful he is that he defeated everyone against him #but the time spell is already breaking up so it's like what exactly happens if their original plan is interrupted #considering all of the time and dimension shenanigans conceivably anything could happen #but very few good things #I wouldn't be surprised if this interested nobody but me but I might as well put it out there #sorry to everyone following me who isn't here for obscure 2000s YA book series content #the tags messed up on this for a second so it sounded like I was positing to the audience what if I kept them as a pet #which is very threatening

[altschmerzes]

this movie is specifically and actively bullying me, a person who loved those books and had them as a formative piece of my childhood and engagement with media and the way i still write now. there is no way to so resoundingly miss the point without being deliberately obtuse. i'm gonna physically get a copy of this movie just so i can beat it with a stick until it's in like fifteen pieces.

#gav gab #watching the artemis fowl film still in like 15-90 second chunks lmao #IT'S BAD FOLKS

[dooblez]

i am the only person on this god-forsaken planet who likes Vishby/j

#i dont like his graphic novel design so i do not see it !!!/hj #but for real #he’s my little guy #after Julius died I needed someone else to get attached to #and then of course #VISHBY DIES #i learned my lesson;;;;; #please don’t ask why he’s my second favourite I have no clue/hj #actually i do #he’s just a loser and i like that in men/p/j #artemis fowl

[orangerosebush]

Yes, it is true that Artemis wouldn't have much practice with cooking, making him more likely to be abysmal at it. But: the context of the Sandwich Incident :tm: is necessary. Like, is Artemis irretrievably doomed in matters of the kitchen? Or is he ~13 years old + just watched one of his adult guardians get shot, and thus cannot really be arsed to properly construct a meal, lol? You could take the following exchange at face value, but there's also a very likely chance (in my mind) that Artemis is fucking with Mulch

#Artemis 'volunteered' for this because it took him .5 seconds to throw everything on a plate and then walk out into the kitchen and bs mulch #into taking the food anyway. if there is one (1) thing he is inclined to do it is be a control freak #artemis fowl

[jelloia]

There’s an evil Spanish nun and a tiny troll in the first book, along with a would-be immortal rich guy who kind of duplicates himself in the third book. The second book doesn’t make too much sense by comparison — getting into the same issues as Colfer’s WARP trilogy, but it’s okay.

summarizing the fowl books makes me realize how out of pocket they are out of context

#seriously debating whether i should read #or save myself any future pain and second hand embarrassment #maybe i'll read it just for the nun #asks #artemis fowl