#About shit I am passionate about and about shit I like for sure

[i-amtransexual]

actually i think i shall choose anger today anyway crowley and aziraphale are both asexual and i am not going to include a statement saying all head cannons are valid i dont give a SHIT they're ACE AS FUCK

#me.yay #good omens #aziraphale and crowley #crowley #aziraphale #crowly x aziraphale #asexual #ace #liie obviously whatever man who gives a shit #but idk i keep seeing ppl be like 'theure ace! but also all hcs are valid' and seem to soend more time being anxious #about making sure theh state that like its ok #you can be loud about your opinion on a character and be passionate about wanting it without having to passify possible dickheads #THEYRE ACE AND I AM GOING TO SAY IT WITHOUT A FUCKIGN DISCLAIMER

[nyxofdemons]

this was going to be like a mile long essay but i just realized the most concise way to say it is that "it feels like a retcon that blitz has been so resentful and hostile towards fizz all this time since he was supposed to feel guilty" is simply not a good criticism when we have been shown, time and time again, that blitz's number one defense mechanism when he feels guilty or judged or attacked is to lash out, to deflect and ignore all his responsibility, and to shift the blame to someone else. that's like. his defining character flaw

#- and that's WHY it was such a major THING for his arc!! that he apologized to fizz and accepted responsibility for what he did!!! #like. the fact that he said; EXPLICITLY; the words 'you're right; it was all my fault; i should have done better; i am so sorry' IS #SO BIG!!!! LIKE THAT IS SUCH A HUGE THING FOR HIM!!!!! #mine #helluva boss #blitzo helluva boss #helluva boss blitzo #blitz #e: oops #analysis #also its entirely reasonable that blitz would have gone spiraling down the thought process that maybe fizz always hated him if he could #blame him so easily when fizz was probably the one blitz was MOST counting on to hear him out #and the fact that fizz went on and got SUPER famous and successful after he was no longer performing with blitz - who i'm SURE had #only been given more and more shit for not being as good as fizz as they got older (by his dad and by himself) - he probably assumed fizz #blamed him for that too - holding fizz back with his own poor performance #which is why his insults towards fizz had always been 'overrated sellout' and insisting he slept his way to the top with ozzie. #he'd tear down fizz's quality as a performer because BLITZ feels insecure about his OWN quality as a performer #these tags have gotten so fucking long but that's the gist of the essay i was gonna write about this fjfdjjfghf #MEDIA ANALYSIS IS MY PASSION

[ruelpsen]

I regret to inform you that my fave is getting bodied again in another poll

#too many fake old man enjoyers on this site #COME ON NOW HE HAS SIX ~PREHENSILE~ TENTACLE DICKS! SIX!!!!!! #people are being mean in the notes though like come on what has he ever done to you #do you not know cuntenserven when you see it #sure yes he does bad things in canon and i am not an apologist #and if he were a real person i would hate him so gd much for some of the shit he does #however he is not real so what about it #some people just want to dream about having a passionate six-tentadicked bisexual alien lover and lordy am i one of them #i might. *might.* rb the poll itself later but without tags because i've had experiences with normies being stupid in my inbox- #- after rbing normie-ish posts in the past #even a number of people who claim to be sex-positive turn awful the second it's clear your tastes aren't bland vanilla stuff #if you've read this far thanks for hearing out my ramblings #despite my better judgement i am so deeply in love with this foolish man #londarling #not sfw

[archduke-enver-gortash]

posting on here is like my sisyphean boulder i'm constantly rolling tbh

#god i am trying so hard to just have fun and be myself #but when i do that i'm immediately a strange outsider creep #and since i can't really mask my version of masking is just not talking and then obviously you don’t find any joy in fandom spaces either #i will always be a shitty unlikable freak no matter how much i pretend otherwise. it was obvious from the start that getting involved in #fandom spaces was a fucking mistake. it's always a mistake because you're some laughing stock at best and a horrifying freak at worst #i don't blame people for not liking me i've realised what an awful person i am long ago #but it's always so hard witnessing something like fun social groups from the sidelines knowing you'll never be a part of it #this is why my mental state has been deteriorating so severely in the last few months. that Realisation once again nothing fucking changed #i know it's stupid to get so upset over fandom but it's only a pattern for me #i stopped trying to be friends with people when i was a teenager because it hasn't worked a single time #this attempt at integrating myself into the wotr and bg3 fandom by sharing my shit was just one mistake #gortash/zeke is so different from anybody else’s work and i wish i could find joy in something that it isn’t fucking deranged but i can’t #like yes it’s just fandom bullshit! gortash/zeke is a fucking oc x canon ship! why am i getting so upset over it! #i love writing them. i’ve never been this happy writing anything. and it’s entirely indicative of a common pattern in my life #when i earnestly share parts of myself/things i’m passionate about people get creeped out. and honestly? rightfully so #i would leave the discord servers i’m in because it’s fucking crushing me dude. this is so petty but i’m so jealous of what you people have #but in one i am server owner and i don’t want to just dump that responsibility onto someone else and then dip #and in the other two i’m not sure anyone would even notice that i’m gone but i still worry about being rude #though i’m not entirely sure i didn’t get invited to one of those just so people could laugh at me. idk probably just being paranoid but i #it’s been gnawing at me #ok no if i’m being this vulnerable on tunglr.com i can also say that part of me staying is also still having the hope that i could fit in #one day. logically i know it won’t happen but it’s nice to have hope sometimes #watching you all from through the window having fun like a creep #so yeah. i’ve always felt like this but it’s been rapidly getting worse with my failed attempt at the bg3 fandom #idk just been crying non-stop for the last few hours. went through an entire pack of tissues in an hour it’s very disgusting #they’re all lying around me as i’m typing this like a pillowfort of snot lmao #so yeah. idk. if someone could come over and lobotomise me that’d be nice. orin where are you when we need you most #i never had any friends irl so i foolishly gave this a shot. i’m sorry #also doesn’t help that i can see someone dropping me for people that are easier to be around in irl rn #it just hurts because it’s always like that. someone you are around when you have no other option at best. not even that sometimes

[angeltism]

out of the shower , feeling slightly less shit about myself (and way less like saying uncalled for immature mean things) however still dealing with the realization that I am possibly the most replaceable person in the world

#➳ valentin vents #oh hey and look I'm gonna give some examples that aren't people who can actually read this . nice #but anyways ! nobody i have ever left has given a shit about when i did #to both of my only ever romantic partners i was never important enough to treat well . yippee ! (okay maybe some saying mean things but #neither of them should see this if the universe doesn't hate my ass with a passion ok) #and in all my friendships if i was replaced with any other generic person with social anxiety it'd be like nothing fucking changed ! #in short i am incredibly replaceable and uu should maybe all consider replacing me asap because I'm p sure it'd be very easy to find somebun #with all my positives/neutrals and wayyy less of my negatives . idk . just a suggestion . #can uu tell i hate myself very very much even though i desperately try to hide it ! all my confidence no matter how much it's gen in the #moment is still soaked in my self loathing from years of being depressed replaceable always 2nd priority (or less) to those around me etc #but hey it's fine I am sure that tomorrow I'll think I'm the hottest person alive just as I did a few hours ago and life will be okay . haha

[cantdanceflynn]

OBVIOUS NOTE OF "GUYS I HAVE THE MEDIA LITERACY NEEDED TO UNDERSTAND WHAT IS AND ISNT A PIECE OF MEDIA ADVOCATING FOR A BAD THING AND I KNOW WHAT BAD WRITING AND PACING IS" BUT LIKE. *JAZZ HANDS* THIS IS GONNA BE ON MY OWN TIME AND SHIT N READ THE REST OF THE POST AND BLOCK ME IF NEED BE BUT IM GONNA BE AT SOME POINT WATCHING THE H*LLAVERSE AND D*MP(CENSORED TO LEAVE THIS OUT OF SEARCHES SORRY)

ALSO IM MAKING THIS CLEAR BC IK IVE BEEN VAGUE ABOUT IT BEFORE AND I DONT WANT ANY EXTRA HARASSMENT OR FOR ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH IT TO TAKE ISSUES. UH BC IVE BEEN ON THE FENCE BOUT IT IM JUST MAKING THE CHOICE NOW. NO MORE DOUBLE GUESSING STUFF I WANT TO WATCH FEHFBSFBSSFB IF ITS BAD ITS BAD AND ILL PIRATE IT ANYWAYS AND IF IT DOESNT DESERVE ANY ATTENTION IT SURE AS HELL WONT GET IT FROM ME BUT I FIGURE THIS IS JUST. A BETTER CHOICE FOR ME TO STOP GUILTING MYSELF WHICH HAS JUST BEEN A HORRIBLE THING WHENEVER I SEE ANYTHING I WANT TO AT LEAST CHECK OUT AND IM SICK AND TIRED OF PUTTING SOME PEOPLE IVE TALKED TO TWICE OVER MY OWN HEALTH IN THE WEIRD ASS GUILT TRAUMA SPIRALS I KEEP FORCING MYSELF INTO

SO THIS IS PROBABLY THE ONLY POST ON THIS TOPIC IM MAKING BC IVE BEEN SO BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN "MAN THIS IS GREAT FOR ME" AND "OH GOD THE TRAUMA" LOL

BASICALLY THIS HAS BEEN A LONG TIME COMING AND MAYBE THISLL BE LIKE THE HORROR THING WHERE I RLY LIKE IT AND I TRY TO HOLD BACK BOUT IT BUT END UP OBSESSED BUT MORE LIKELY THAN NOT THIS IS JUST GONNA BE A HEADSUP FOR ANYONE UNCOMFORTABLE W LIKE THE TWO BIGGEST TARGETS FOR "IRREDEEMABLE MEDIA" BC ITS LIKE. VERY FAIR TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE W EM AND I DONT BLAME U AT ALL SO I WANT TO MAKE SURE UR WARNED

REPETITIVE POST IK AND IF YOU ARE LIKE. MY FRIEND FRIEND AND YOU DONT WANT ME TO LET ME KNOW AND IF I RB ANYTHING IT WILL BE TAGGED AND EVERY SINGLE DISCLAIMER I JUST. WANT TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE KNOW AND IM CLEAR ABOUT THIS FOR EVERYONES SAFETY, EVEN IF ITS SOMETHING SMALL LIKE THIS. MY APOLOGIES AGAIN, SERIOUSLY IF YOU ARE LIKE. A FRIEND FRIEND I WILL TAKE UR OPINION ON THIS DW

#THIS ISNT GONNA APPLY TO LIKE. SOUTH PARK OR HARRY POTTER OR SOMETHING. BUT LIKE. AND TLDR THIS IS JUST ME HAVING HISTORY W MEDIA #BUT ITS IN A ''BAD PEOPLE ARE THE MAIN REASON I HAVE THE PASSIONS THAT I HAVE AND WANT TO ANIMATE AND ENJOY WHAT I ENJOY #AND I WANT TO AT LEAST DECIDE FOR MYSELF IF ALL THEYVE DONE IS AS BAD AS PEOPLE SAY BC IK THEYRE THAT BAD BUT I WANT TO AT LEAST SEE WHERE #THAT PASSION WENT TO AND IF NOTHING ELSE MAYBE ALL THE MEANSPIRITED POSTS WILL BE RIGHT AND ITLL BE FUN TO LAUGH AT. AND IM SURE THERES #STUFF THATS SHITTY IN THERE. I KNOW THERE IS IN FACT. BUT I DUNNO IM TIRED OF BEING TOLD HOW BAD EVERYTHING IS FROM FUCKING HOMESTUCK FANS #LIKE BUDDY IM NOT NEW TO THIS IK THERES WORSE SHIT IN OUR WEBCOMIC. I SEE SOME OF U RBING SOUTH PARK STUFF AND THEN DECIDING THATS #TOO INTENSE AND I DUNNO MAN MAYBE ITS ALL PERSPECTIVE MAYBE IM JUST TIRED OF BEING A PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE COWARD ABOUT EVERYTHING #BUT POINT IS FUCK EVERYONE WHO WAS A JERK BOUT IT IM GONNA BE WATCHING THAT SHIT ON MY OWN TIME AND IT DOESNT HAVE TO BE UR BUSINESS #SO DONT MAKE YOUR DEATH THREATS MY BUSINESS'' WAY #AND MAYBE THATS ALL NONSENSE AND SHIT BUT THIS IS YEARS COMING AND IVE DECIDED IM WEEDING OUT THE ASSHOLES #AND IK I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF THIS MUCH BUT MAN I AM TERRIFIED OF BEING MISUNDERSTOOD. ANYWAYS. 👍. ✌.

[bioswear]

I’ll say it once: I think Israel needs to fuck off, Palestine should be free, America needs to stop sticking its dick where it doesn’t belong

#but I sure as fuck am not going to put face value stock in any of the political posts about it here #SIMPLY because it’s tumblr and sometimes people are very passionate in their stances #personal txt #which is why I have barely reblogged any of the Palestine stuff #bc I have not the time to do my own research and formulate my own knowledge about it #I think it’s terrible I think it’s unnecessary I think America shouldn’t be sticking it’s Money Dick where it shouldn’t belong #but I also have student loans to pay back crippling debt and a massive lesbian crush on my cute bi coworker so #so you know… in the realm of what I can and cannot control #I’m going to worry and care for Priority 1 (which is always me) #anyone would like to start some shit in my inbox by all means it’s been a long time since I’ve had the Displeasure of being a Bitch online #I don’t have to justify anything to people on here but I thought it should be said

[saintedbythestorm]

Not dad trying to tell me about some big fallout news he heard about from some work colleague 😂 oh what the poor man just subjected himself too.

#it was about that leak from weeks ago. dad got quite the details about it. he walked right into that one. #and that dear sir is why we do not try to bring news about the hyperfixation. i will know about it and you will hear about it. #dude even got the history of fallout 3 as a bonus. since that was the one he mentioned 😂 #he also got a very veeeery long version about why i would necessarily get so excited about the leaks. #you know age of the document. the whole company sale thing. how much the time line clearly has already gone to shit. etc etc etc. #yeah... yeah i think he really came to regret that one 😅 #listen i have only slept 5 hours. am high on caffeine and painkillers- almost had a migraine ok. #which means i have like 0 filter rn and am quite brain tired. i will not realise how long i am going on for once i get started rn. #the info dump has started and it will end when i brain says so. i sure af won't notice I am doing it cause I'm just excited to share #not until i manage to like finish my long ass story do i realise i went on for like a good 20-30 minutes... oops. #and that may just be a generous estimate cause i got really going on the infodump ok. it was a blast. ngl. #i am very passionate about fallout ok. this is what happens when you fall asleep to fallout lore most days of the week. #yes i lost the plot ages ago about this hyperfixation. it makes me very happy. so i don't even care. i will keep doing it. #til the hyperfixation dies and bring great sadness to the lands... til we find something else. god knows when that is though. #i am very ok if fallout hyperfixation just... doesn't go away actually. i like hyperfixation. brings many a solution when upsetty. #.... i really need to stfu up now. hi. 👋 why are you still reading this??? these ramblings of a madman. 😂 #ryder speaking #i got this far before i realised i did not in fact write wouldn't get excited... well i aint fixing it now 🙃

[orcelito]

tfw ur major sleep deprived but ur here working on a thing for the group project for the class you havent been going to (also you have an exam for that class in a week, lololololol) and ALSO for ur other class (good class, fun class, love this coding class) u have ANOTHER thing for the group project in that class due. Tonight. except no one can meet bc everyone's caught up doing shit for other classes. so we r gonna just have to smack some shit out Vaguely (and by we i mean probably largely me) but i just wanna sleeeeeeep

#speculation nation #me doing the barest minimum work for making it seem like im contributing #i added some attributes to some entities. Go Me #the thing due tonight for my coding class is the project description #we talked to the professor after class today about what we are doing #since i still have my raspberry pi and robot parts i was thinking about doing a robot #we were thinking about doing a basic rover but professor was like 'if you wanted to do a simple robot like a Ring that would work too' #aka like a motion sensor or some shit. pretty basic. but we dont have That much time left lol #so yea im gonna have to uhhh make some bullshit worth 2 pages I Guess. it's ok im good at bullshitting #just. gosh. this semester is speeding past #and if i pass this fucking database class it'll be a miracle #but ykno what i got an 86% on the first exam and i can pass the second exam. probably #really tho i know database ERDs and w/e like that's no big deal #but one group member mentioned smth she said in class and i was just like 'ahaha yeaaah' #listen i fucking hate that class with a passion. it's so fucking stupid #i hate that it's required #i cant wait to get past these fucking required courses so i can proceed to my chosen electives. that way i wont hate my fucking LIFE #anywyas hi i sure am having a day today. i was almost falling over after work today lol

[pussy-ache]

very annoyed i brought that into other relationships as an actual perceived flaw of mine and it doesn’t even fucking exist as a problem in and of itself

#now it’s all clicking into place. they BOTH were like. what are you talking about? you don’t make me feel that way at all #who told you that you do that? #but i was made to be so fucking PARANOID about it that ir constantly was in my mind as a Problem Inherent To How I Love #i was like …. ‘’well i’ll definitely fall in love again and if i could to that to HIM i can do that to anyone’’ #and i was like hmmm. well i’m bi and both people i could have allowed myself to fall in love with DON’T see this as an issue in me #i was so terrified to fall in love again with someone else BEFORE i had fixed this issue. i consistently was like ‘’am i still doing that’’ #JUST for the simple fact that i WANT to fall in love with someone else and would never want to do that to them #i just find it amazing in a really sickening way that i was told that for so many years that i develeoped a complex about it #the first time he told me that we were 17 years old. i’ve been carrying around that belief about myself #that i love toxically and raise people up to far/make them feel awful when they feel short and it’s not. even. something. i. did. to. him. #i wasted so many years. i had this thought in the back of my head during so many moments. i actually became afraid to fall in love again #simply because it was AWFUL being told that i love in that way. it made me cry that i could ever consistently make someone feel like that #and i spent so much time analyzing my every fucking move in BOTH of those relationships JUST to make sure i was loving correctly #i analyzed it in therapy and then was told by my therapist that i was letting toxic shit go #because i was afraid of holding the other person accountable was actually expecting TOO much of them and putting them on a pedestal #when really i was being treated like shit in one relationship and the other just had no chemistry and no passion #but i also stayed because i thought the way i loved was the problem #i could honestly throw up #i purposelly have been waiting to put myself out there again in a serious way because i never wanted to be told i do that again #i never wanted to make someone feel like that again. to be put on a pedestal is a form of dehumanization. #to tell me i do that is to tell me i dehumanize people when i love them #to have carried that around with me for so long into other relationships is heartbreaking #i. wasted. so. much. time. #i projected that onto other people and i’m so angry at myself for it i almost wanna text and fucking apologize for having such a complex #like i probably drove other people crazy and it was never even a problem to begin with #i ended up MAKING it a problem when it wasn’t one because i was so afraid of falling in love again and doing that to the next person

[okayish-omens]

.

#yknow #every day now i find myself struggling with what (not) to say and whether to speak at all #cause ppl irl and online are SO hypervigilant and (near-)activistic?? #like #I keep quiet. i get shit for not saying anything #I say something. it's 'insensitive' or 'wrong' or 'mean' or 'rude' and basically i should first learn before i speak #but i'm even afraid to ask about things these days #because apparently even asking a question can be offensive #but thats only for SPECIFIC people but others you can ask #also mind your language at all times cause if the nuance on a syllable is off #they will hate you with a passion forever #and id love to learn and know more about people #but how can i do that when they're 'not explaining themselves to ms' and it's even rude of me to ask??? how will i know how stuff works??? #how will i know how a specific thing or person or whatever works and how can i then better understand it or them?? #am i ALLOWED to understand them??? Mostly it's really rude if i ask someone about it bc it's invasive #and yknow boundaries #and hey listen fair enough boundaries are boundaries for sure #but 'I'm not telling you SHIT about any of it you motherfucker. go die' isn't really helping if all i asked was #how some ND thing works in their life or like. what it entails #i'll prob even be flamed for these tags #but honestly i'm kinda done asking. tell me sth ic you think i should know but i don't know if i'll ask someone again

[diluc33rpm]

Do you have any cool talents? (1/3)

tried and failed to come up with a joke funnier than the last one on this. frankly you win this ask

#well with the obvious caveat that talent isn't really a thing and etc *peeks at the last reblog* #sure there are things that i want to learn more about and work at #but for the most part i've always felt that i don't have much of a central interest or interests? at least compared to others #either from specific skills or a general field of subject matter #it's made thinking about future paths er. No small ordeal to say the least #most folks we know have SOMETHING of an idea meanwhile we're over here working with aaa what even to speak of #not that it's a requirement to Base Your Life Mainly Around A Thing but it gets real easy to get caught up in #the kind of '...but what am i really meant to pursue' mentality #and get worried by lack of a particular passion and all. there's nothing in my life i'm interested in strongly as to make it my Shit perse #bit like the old music taste #still finding myself cracking the nut of it being okay not to have a dream #stuff feels a lot easier to grapple with when you reconcile with the fact there's the option of just doing things you sorta like forever

[kifu]

SHE IS BRED!

My beautiful, beautiful mutt lifted today and I am fucking over the moon.

I love love love this rabbit so much, which is ridiculous because it was a stupid cross borne of stupidity, and it produced the most beautiful rabbit I have ever made.

She's gonna give me Rex furred babies or so help me. If i don't get something that looks even half as good as her with Rex fur, I'm gonna cry. Because this girl? She gonna make me table-ready Mini Rex and improve all my problems.

Seriously though. You can't buy Mini Rex that touch the quality of this mutt. Only problem? She's half New Zealand. I might actually have to battle size.

Do i care that I crossed two breeds? Absolutely not. I'm going to achieve my (after- the- fact) goals. If i use her, I won't have to worry about shoulders, midsection, loin, lower hindquarters, rib spread, or overall WIDTH so long as I breed for her type. She fixed it all for me. Yet i already have people berating me for having an earlier- peaking rabbit. The super late peak makes me want to cry, tbh. I personally prefer a rabbit with a topline similar to hers.

#yeah so today was a pretty damn good day #got burning done so the cardboard horde from winter is gone #got five rabbits bred! #which brings breeding to about 18% done #sure it's not a lot but yknow I'm optimistic this week be another good year #because it has to be #tomorrow is supposed to be shit weather-wise so I'll get my comm done #and I'll see if I can't do another art thing #just not sure what else yet #yo my mental health this year? #could be the fact that I have a new job and almost all new jobs are okay for the first couple months #but so far I'm on a fucking roll #and I am ... I'm gonna appreciate and lean into these highs alright #and I'm going to STOP HATING THE RABBITS #because I have. for years now #and I'm going to stop that #I'm going to find my passion for them again #and I'm going to get another good win at the table because I deserve it #and maybe I'll get to keep doing art and writing all year #like how neat would that be? #like really neat #and unheard of since I graduated a bazillion years ago

[evie-sturns]

Sorry - Matt Sturniolo

summary: you and matt have been bickering the whole day, but one thing that comes out of his mouth accidentally makes you cry.

contains: arguing, crying, comforting, fluff.

---------------└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘---------------

matt and i have spent the day out together, but hes been snapping at me for the smallest things. i've just brushed it off, i decided hes just tired and needs to get home.

"ready to go matt?" i ask, squeezing his hand as i heave myself up off the chairs in the mall.

"mhm.." matt hums, shutting off his phone and sitting up.

the loud chatter from crowds of people in the shopping center echos through my ears. matt walks ahead of me, i follow close behind as he walks through the double doors out into the parking lot.

he unlocks the car before letting himself in, shutting the car door behind him. "jesus" i mutter under my breath before opeing the passenger side and jumping in.

"so what should we get for dinner tonight?" i question, breaking the painfully loud silence.

"don't know" he replies quietly, his voice monotone.

"i could make us something?" i say, tapping my fingers on my leg as matt pulls out onto the street.

"sure." he responds with a slight nod of his head.

the rest of the car ride is silent, matt grips the steering wheel with both hands, taking sharp turns towards home.

"matt..?" i ask quietly,

"mhm" he mutters back,

"are you upset with me?" i say, my voice soft as i look directly on the road ahead.

"nope" matt sighs as he pulls into our garage.

i nod silently as he opens the door of the drivers side, he slams the door shut behind him and walking into the house. he doesnt even bother letting me out of the car, let alone leave the door to the house open.

i sit in the car for about a minute in silence, trying to think about what is actually pissing matt off today

i get out of the car and walk up the concrete stairs to our house, i approach the door to matt and i's bedroom, the door handle rattles before swinging open.

matt is sitting on his desk chair, scrolling on his phone. he doesn't even look up at me as i flop down on the bed.

i grab my airpods off our bedside table, accidentally knocking matts cup of coffee which has been marinating on the table for several hours.

the mug hits the wooden floor, the porcelain shattering and coffee painting the wooden planks.

i look up at matt, "shit-"

"can you actually fucking stop?" matt says, almost disgusted by me.

"you've been so annoying all day and i'm so sick of it. stop." he continues.

he stares directly into my eyes as those words exit his mouth.

i usually wouldn't cry if anyone said this to me, but today it feels so personal. they way hes been so uninterested in me, and now he says this to my face?

my eyes water as matt maintains eye contact, my bottom lip trembles as my throat feels like its practically closing in.

a loud sob exits my mouth as tears instantly start to stream down my face, my shoulders slouched and bouncing up and down as i stand infront of matt.

"you're being mean now matt" i say in between shaky breaths.

he stands in shock in front of me for a few seconds before grabbing me and pulling me into a passionately tight hug, he holds my head as i feel his hands shake slightly as he takes deep breaths.

after a few seconds i pull away from the hug "look at me, please" matt says, his voice soft as his mouth parts slightly.

i look up at him, my face drenched in tears. he bends over and picks me up, holding me up around his waist by my thighs.

he sits down on the bed with me, i'm sitting on his lap, almost straddling him as he sits back against the headboard.

"please don't cry, i promise i didn't mean to make you cry im so sorry-" matt rambles on, panic in his voice.

"i've been a proper dickhead today i don't know whats wrong with me i am so sorry"

i nod, he takes the sides of my face in his ringed hands, "i am so, so grateful to have you. i have been so tired recently and i've only been getting three or four hours of sleep a night because of nick, chris and is schedule for the past few weeks and its taken a toll on me"

"and its not your fault, nothing is okay?" he finishes, his eyes scanning my face for a reaction.

i nod "thank you", matt takes his hand and casually wipes the snot from under my nose.

"can you please give me a smile sweetheart?" he asks, his hands finally dropping slowly from the sides of my face down to my palms.

i wipe my eyes and give matt a somewhat ugly smile, matts face lights up "there she is" he smiles "gorgeous girl."

he taps my waist "do you want a shower?" he asks, its been a 'tradition' that matt and i have a shower together mosts nights.

"yeah" i smile warmly at matt, he sits up, picking me up off his lap and carrying me into his bathroom.

he sets me down on my feet and helps me get my clothes off, he follows, his clothes in a neat pile by the door.

i turn on the shower up to a high heat, the steam fogging the room.

matt steps in, "holy shit- i know i've been an asshole but do i deserve to be scolded alive- fuck." he laughs, his eyes scrunching and his wide grin plastered on his face.

"its nice!" i joke back, matt steps in again, trying to keep a straight face. "oh my god-" he whispers with a smile as he turns down the water temperature. "matt!!" i whine, slapping him lightly with a smirk "i had to" he says, reaching for the shampoo and squeezing it into his hand.

he rubs the shampoo into my hair, a comfortable silence fills the bathroom along with the sweet smell of strawberry shampoo.

suddenly matt breaks the silence,

"for the record, i did enjoy the mall with you earlier sweetheart, and i'm sorry i ruined it for you."

"awh matt, its okay i go to the mall every 2 days anyway." i coo back at him with a cheeky smile.

---------------------------

matts smile btw in the shower heat cause i thought it was cute

#nick sturniolo #sturniolo triplets #sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo fanfic #sturniolo smut

[gl1tteryzebra]

hey gorgeous 🙈 I feel like rafe is such a gym bro and he would definitely mansplain like how to grow his glutes or something idc about lol and reader’s just giggling and nodding along blushing bc he’s flexing his muscles and pointing to which ones he needs to ‘work’ on 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

hiiii my queen 😋 your brain needs to be studied cos ur such a genius for this…

"so you wanna make sure your weight sits back on your hips…”

despite the fact that you were nodding along enthusiastically to rafe’s instructions, you couldn’t prevent your mind from drifting elsewhere like some unleashed puppy— chasing after whatever shiny object piqued your interest.

the green muscle shirt clung deliciously to his chest; pumped muscles flattered by the tight material. your gaze fixated on every ridge and bulging vein that was accentuated. a small giggle slipping past your glossed lips as his pecs squeezed together at the top of the motion— only then did his blue orbs met yours in the mirror.

"hey...hey, you listening, kid?" he released the barbell with a huff, a sweaty palm tapping the fat of your cheeks. “this shit’s important.”

"I am listening,” you whined with an unconvincing pout, eyelashes batting up at him as you gestured to his exposed arms. “what ‘bout these ones? they’re are so big.”

“huh—oh my biceps, you like ‘em?” his lips stretched into a haughty smirk as your fingers experimentally dragged over the flexed muscle, softened features contouring into fascination as they hardened beneath your touch. “wanna see how I work ‘em?”

“uh-huh!”

the gym was fairly desolate at this time of night meaning you could sit on one of the empty benches as rafe stood before you, biceps expanding as he curled the dumbbell to his chest. you nibbled on your bottom lip, squirming in your seat; with each repetition his breath came out in a laboured grunt, face twisting into a pained grimace. you couldn’t help it, attention drifting to earlier this morning when he’d held his weight above you, hips ploughing into your own with an ardent passion. heat blossomed beneath your cheeks at the memory and you fidgeted with the sleeve of rafe’s hoodie to distract yourself.

“last one,” he groaned, arm shaking as he completed his final rep. “ten.”

“wowww, good job, rafe! you’re so strong.” you sprung from your spot, entangling yourself with his dewy skin, leaning up to place a quick peck to the corner of his lips.

“yeah? you think? strong enough to do this…” his arms wrapped around your thighs, hoisting you into his embrace. an airy shriek floated from your chest as his lips attached to your neck, sucking hard.

“ah—no, stop—ha! that tickles…”

he chuckled into your skin, lowering your giggling frame back to the floor once he was satisfied. your fingers splayed across the expanse of his abdomen, absentmindedly kneading into the taut muscles.

“gotta work on my abs, they’re real pain in the ass to train,” you glanced up at that, lips dropping into a frown. “oh, I didn’t know that.”

“ha—yeah, I was thinkin’… maybe you could help me with that.”

sincerely ~ 🦓༝༚༝༚

#rafe cameron smut #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron drabble #divider by @fairytopea #rafe cameron prompt #bimbo!reader #gym bro!rafe

[dream-launch]

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#i have realised that the reason i wasnt this alone when living at home depsite still rarely seeing friends and stuff #and hating the people i lived with #was i had my little sister #and miss her so fucking much #like shes the only person i know who actually fucking likes me and takes interest in me and asks about how i am and what i like #and she like fucking adored me cause shes 8 and im her big cool sister #but like i love her you know i could listen to her rant for hours #cause she got so passionate about her interests and things she enjoys and i think thats caise she sees how passionate i get #but it made me so fucking happy #amd i miss it so much #she is literally the only person who has lovingly hugged or held me since i was a kid #like and anytime i mentioned to anyone i shared a room with my little sister they were also so like pitiful #and like shocked and were liek aow that lust have sucked i would hate that #but it was what was keeping me sane #shes my fucking best friend and i hate how i rarely get to talk to her now and when i do its while my parents are listening #so it's no where near the same #literally keep buying shit for her and sending it over just make sure shes happy and knows im thinking about her and love her to bits #i miss her so much and just wanna give her a hug and tell her how proud i am of her