Tumgik
#Ah yes. Man who has commited war crimes.
jifanjiang0710 · 8 months
Text
Dinner with the Stellaron Hunters
yandere kafka x reader x yandere blade
“SILVER WOLF!”
Your fists start to hurt from all the pounding. She’s locked her door again. “Time for dinner!” She can definitely hear you. Whether she responds or not is her choice.
“Boss fight!” She yells back.
“Come downstairs quickly!” Scurrying down the flight of stairs, you stop at Blade’s room. An ominous reddish glow is emitting from under the door, reeking of death… or is it your imagination? You raise your hand to knock, before a voice from behind sends chills down your spine.
“What are you doing?”
Turning to meet his scowling visage, ever-unchanging (SW likened him to an NPC), you see Blade glaring down at you, and neither of you speak.
“…dinnertime.”
He slinks off.
You groan irritably. You do everything in this house. Thankfully, Kafka is already at the table.
After a quick scan of the seating, you heave a sigh of relief. There is a seat at the table between Kafka and Blade. Thank the aeons. As you head for the spot, Silver Wolf plops herself down onto the chair in all her glory, eyes not leaving the handheld console. You stare dumbfounded for a minute, partly at the audacity, the rest a growing conflict arising from within you.
The most vexing decision of the night: sitting next to Kafka, or Blade. Only one party can be sated, and the other will then shower you with the fruits of their displeasure for the rest of the night. Tread lightly in this delicate situation.
Choose Kafka, who lets her fingers glide up your thighs, particularly when you are drinking; who whispers vile things in your ear as you try to focus instead on the noises from Silver Wolf’s console; who sometimes holds a spoon to your mouth and expects you to say ahh...
Or choose Blade, who barely tries to hide his growing fascination with you at this point; whose fiery eyes bore into you carrying a heavy sort of intensity that cannot be described; who you know has no qualms about cornering Kafka’s favourite pet and finding out just what makes you so special to her.
The purple-haired woman notices your hesitance, chuckling breathily. She takes the initiative to beckon you over, with a single curl of her fingers. You trot towards her, deeming her, just for tonight, the lesser of two evils. Then you catch sight of his gaze. It’s a warning and a threat, all expressed within a single flash of the eyes.
“What’s wrong, little one?”
“I- I….” You feel yourself starting to sweat at this minor conundrum. How can you defy a direct order from Kafka?
She sighs, evidently disappointed at your lack of decisiveness. “Oh, go on. I’m sure Bladie deserves you for just one night, with how long he has been eyeing up what’s mine.”
The tension builds, and you bite your tongue. That sentence was biting, indirectly instigating another cold war between both hunters. So, gathering up stray remnants of courage you take a seat next to him.
The atmosphere is even more strained.
“Ah…how is your hand?” You direct the question to the man sitting beside you, glare turning less pointed. “Has it healed?”
“Yeah,” SW says suddenly, accusatory. “How is your hand?”
He sighs, irked. “Still healing. Isn’t it obvious?” For it was still wrapped in bandages.
“Blade, our supply of bandages is depleting. The others need them too. Is it really necessary to cover your torso?” He can very well heal himself should the need arise, and any pretense on his part is to avoid having to game with Silver Wolf. Blade ignores you, as if you’d committed a crime against him personally.
Kafka is unusually quiet.
You chide Silver Wolf to finish off her broccoli.
“Oh dear. Little one?”
Her sudden shift of attention to you makes you jump. “Yes, Kafka?”
“Will you be a dear and run off to fetch a cloth for me? I seem to have spilt some soup onto my lap.”
Blade watches intently as you fuss over her, asking whether there are burns, if she is alright, and run off to pour another bowl for her.
His fists clench, tightening around the bowl. “That was intentional.”
“What an astute observation, Bladie. And do you keep your uninjured hand bandaged so my little one may continue clouding their pretty little head with concern for you?”
“They do not enjoy being toyed with, treated like the fragile doll you make them to be.”
“And they don’t seem to like treading on eggshells whenever you are in the vicinity either, or stared down in the way a rabid beast would reserve for its prey.”
“You think you are almighty, Kafka-”
“Oh, but I am. Everything I orchestrate, as I predict, shall come to fruition.”
“Just because you claim control over me, you will not be the most powerful, nor the most infallible. You know just as well as I do, Kafka, and even you cannot deny it. [Name] would be better off anywhere but with you.”
“And if Elio were to say otherwise? Will you continue deluding yourself in such pitiful manner?”
A sharp noise of a crack emanates as the bowl chips under his grip. “…very well.” Blade says, after a second of contemplation. He looks up at the woman opposite of him, the intensity of his gaze like piercing wind, “Let us ask Elio.”
Kafka does not answer, but the slight stiffen of her lower lip speaks volumes. She crosses her arms.
“Listen, Bladie-”
“Enough! Kafka, what did I say about commanding Blade? And Blade, that’s the third one you’ve broken this month. Please be more careful.” The two tear their gazes away from each other.
“My mistake, little one,” Kafka responds breathily, as though this matter were of minimal importance to her.
“I think I cut my finger from the shard,” says Blade.
You turn towards him, raising an eyebrow. He clears his throat, trying to appear innocuous. “…it hurts.”
“Do you need a bandage? You seem to have an abundance of it.” A petty remark by that woman, intent on having your attention solely focused on her.
He meets your eyes. “It still hurts.” On the surface, what with his deadpan expression, it sounds like a command, an order to tend to me. You hear it for what it really is, a plea for attention.
“Aw, fine. Give me your hand. Where does it hurt?”
Kafka’s turn to watch on as you examine his (supposedly) injured finger. You feel an odd sensation of impending doom…
“May I be excused?” Without giving you time to respond, the young gamer stands, tossing her plate into the sink and scampering upstairs once again. You look down and see that your own bowl has been piled suspiciously high with vegetables.
This girl… You sigh, but do not protest this time.
For the night, the Stellaron hunters disperse.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On a more wholesome note:
His phone buzzes. Fumbling a bit with the home screen, he swipes. It’s a message from Kafka.
That Woman: Kys
She receives a reply in return.
Bladie: One day I will.
‘I can only eagerly await that day’
‘As will I.’
‘You’re lying, Bladie~’
‘What.’
‘You no longer want to die, do you?’
‘Good night.’
‘Ah, don’t chicken out. They make you, for the first time in a long time, want to live. I can tell. You’re intrigued.’ ‘…’ ‘Hello?!’ ‘Leaving me on read again?’
He sets the phone down, sighing deeply.
The window shutters are half closed, swaying gently in the breeze. There is a dim starlight scattering the night sky. It reminds him of a home he had lost a long time ago. The wind picks up, blowing away a stray strand of hair off his shoulder.
He does not know how he got there, but his shadow looms over your room door. After some hesitation, he knocks.
820 notes · View notes
mister-christmas · 2 months
Note
hello guy who acts like a 12yr old who just discovered reddit and atheism and thinks he's hot shit. You have two choices before you: 1 Become a normal, well adjusted human being 2 keep shitting your fucking pants screaming "HERESY!! BURN THE HERETIC!! GET ME THE HEAVY FLAMER!!" whenever you see other people minding their business and enjoying the same hobby as you
Alas. Did you know warhammer 40k originally intended the Empire of Man, and all it's silly "muh human superiority all xenos must die" to be a satire? That aspect, of course, has sort of lost a lot of it's value over the years, due to the ludicrous amount of writers that the franchise has had over the years, but it is still rather apparent. I mean take a look at the ordo chronos wars, with people getting executed because getting the date wrong is heresy. Or take a look at, fuck, i don't know - the Thunder Warriors, who were all killed by the Emperor of Man because they 'outlived their usefulness'. Did you know that before he began the holocaust, Hitler ordered the deaths of mentally and physically disabled Germans? Many of whom were veterans of the first world war, whom he was supposedly aiming to avenge in his campaign of 'retribution' and bringing the Reich back to it's former glory. Eugenics, as the idea that 'genetically imperfect' humans don't deserve to live (note: the first human right is the right to live, ya doofus. Yes even awulf, wretched wastes of air like pedophiles and rapists have this right, as it is unalienable. It is also there so that people falsely accused of rape do not immediately get killed for a crime they did not commit) is called nowadays, was also surprisingly popular in the USA before and during the war. The shining bastion of democracy and justice lobotomized people it found too hard to deal with so that they would become easier to manage. It also banned interracial marriage. Something I also found curious, did you know that antifa means antifascist? Sorry to break it to you bud, but if you're antiantifascist you stand with the fascist. And if you are, sincerely, a fascist then i hope you do like Hitler and shoot yourself in the head <3
Tumblr media
Man, you wrote an entire essay and managed to say nothing of value. But I've got time to kill so let's go through this.
It's interesting you think I, a Christian man, act like a reddit atheist
"Burn the heretic" is a meme, you clod. It's a joke. And when people are minding their own damn business I don't care about their little nonsense headcannons. But quite often they want to change the whole hobby to suite them.
Of course the Imperium is evil! It's fucking called the Imperium! Every faction in 40k is evil, that's the point! It's grimdark! It invented grimdark!
I see we're just completely going off the reservation today. No shit nazis, eugenics, lobotomization, and racism are bad. Is there a point to your ramblings?
Ah, well that makes the rest of this meandering tirade make a little more sense. You're stupid enough to think antifa has a monopoly on being against fascism. I can disdain both fascists and antifa. Being the enemy of my enemy doesn't make them my friend. Moreover just because they call themselves antifa doesn't mean they're actually fighting fascism or doing anything worthwhile.
43 notes · View notes
anotherrosesthatfell · 3 months
Text
I honestly never make Alive angst opinion on everyone- 💀 (or if I did, then I forgot 💀) so let's go. I will also change some of his old opinion to new one because Cherry and I uncovered the dark side of Angst
Sunflower Au belong to @abloomingsunflower / @itzcherrybonbon
His personality explanation:
Angst is quiet and mysterious man. No one actually hang out with him expect for Gradient. (Plus Angst is depressing 💀)
He is a bookworm and very intelligent. Angst never reveal his full power unless he snapped.
Appearance:
He wear royal clothing in some occasions but mostly wear comfy clothing. On his daily life, you can see he wearing a red scarf and pairs of black earrings.
Magic/Power:
This dude is stronger than corrupted Nightmare. Only in E.L.A of course- yet, he never use his full power.
Angst power is almost alike to E.L.A Lily. His power is 10/10, second strongest after Dream. Even if Palette and Lux awaken their true form, Angst is still stronger.
Other than that, he has the ability to see ghosts even memories from the past when he touch an old object (or a person)
His opinion on people he knows
Adult
Dream
"Dream Light, the king of sun. Rumours says he committed many crimes years ago by letting the wars to happen. How did I know it? Well, let's just say I have little friends to tell me."
Ink
"Ink Comyet or her now name, Ink Light. Hmm.... Honestly this woman has another last name but I don't think I should mention it. She drinks to forget her loveless marriage. How sad..."
Swap/Blue
"The ex royal guard. He was very useful to the light kingdom. Sadly, father took his power away... This is why people sometimes should live quietly."
Hope
"The last witch of this generation or should I say the current Queen of witches? People think witches extinct but there are many of them, hiding and not knowing their abilities... Hope, she know witches are hiding but she didn't do a thing about it. All she said was 'it's better to move on'... ... But I am more interested about the revengeful spirit watching her."
Error
"the destroyer and the man who lose his wife. I am not fond of him and him too, hating me."
Alphonse (corrupted nightmare)
"I hate father."
Killer
"mother... I don't sympathize with mother at all. It feels bored to do it... Mother has the witch to support her."
Cross
"the babysitter, he had a crush on mother until he met Albedo. Hmm, I remember he used to protect mother and us from the abused... I don't like him after knowing what he has done to the king of light kingdom. He don't even know Lux is his daughter."
Dust
"A pawn of father. I am surprised she didn't run away with Swap when she had the chance... Stupid woman, she could live a happy life but instead she chose to stay."
Horror
"the most sympathetic man I know... I like to eat his cooking."
Albedo
"That Albedo guy, I seen him carries many sins in his back. His emotions are overwhelming and lots of negativity.."
Ship children
Palette
"a bothersome hero. Why grandma chose this weak boy to be a protagonist... He is nothing but a scared little kid. How annoying..."
Goth
"she live a quiet happy life. I am jealous, really. She somehow is able to sealed her ability to see spirits but that can't stop her curse of having a deadly touch."
Lux
"Ah yes, the antagonist of 'Palette story'. Can you believe it? A little girl who were abandoned by her parents and isolated from the world, was chosen to be the antagonist... Isn't it a sad reality? Yet, she is very intelligent which is I like it."
Merciless
"My heart dropped when I found out my dear little brother is the sidekick of the antagonist. Hmm... Well I don't mind it, he is strong one. I believe he do well to destroy this dammed world."
Crescent
"My 'twin brother'. I am ashamed to have someone like him to be my brother... He believes in whatsoever God and he is in love with Palette, someone who is younger than him... Love is love my ass.. All he love is the ideal of having Palette."
Artemis - @abloomingsunflower
"My little sister is the sidekick of the protagonist. Sad reality isn't it? Now my little brother has to fight our naive little sister. I wonder when will there's a timeline where she found out I know how many times she died. I want to laugh thinking about it, I hope she will start to live quietly when she found out."
Gradient
"My 'friend'. It's not like I love his attention or affection anyway, I just got used to him. Since he made me feels like this, he should take the responsibility."
Paperjam
"I don't know much about her. Gradient only says the same thing over and over again. Luckily, a silly ghost told me she has a crush on Crescent."
Spirits
Nim
"grandma can be nice sometime but mostly she just complain about her old life. It was nice when she sang a lullaby."
Passive nightmare
"The revengeful spirit who is guiding Lux and watching over Hope. He is the one my father hate the most... He look nothing like Merciless. If father open his eye, Merciless face resemble mother. He is a bit annoying and lose himself while playing this useless game."
Lanny
"The Queen of magic. She has no descendant to manage her kingdom. Now the magical kingdom is nothing but forest for remaining mystical creatures."
Quetzalcoatl
"He hates my father for taking over his kingdom and manages it badly."
Bonus (what if!)
Vivi - @canon-vi
"the daughter of Dream and Ink. She is not on Palette side rather on Merciless and Lux side. It was a nice sight. Just image having your own sister to choose people who killed you... Artemis can relate to that."
Starcross
"he was an annoying brat but I'll be glad to educate him some manners. Maybe I should let him know that he is capable of taking Palette's power."
Callisto
"The child of Hope and Dream. He has a very handsome face and very respectful despite hating me. Pfft, I like to see this now prince of witches capable of."
Tasya - @canon-vi
"Ah, Hope died because of her? Hmm... She has a little elemental magic such as to grow plants unfortunately she don't realize it yet. I should lend her some witchcraft books."
Shelki - @canon-vi
"A petty little ghost told me this little one got a deadly kiss as her curse. She can't see spirits that well... It should stay like that or else I'll to take action."
Lily
"she's a very interesting little one. Unfortunately, I must hate her actions on making my dear little brother traumatized. She can torture Palette as much as she want but she should never touch my little brother... And I will make her regret it."
20 notes · View notes
clonerightsagenda · 10 months
Text
while we're on the topic of social media
Gill Hm Concept: FMA character most likely to be a Twitch streamer Kat hohenheim is a twitch streamer he's if twitch plays pokemon was a father in a more general setting probably that one younger guy whose specialty is radios though, he seems like the Tech Dude Gill Fuery? I could see that For some reason my mind kept going back to Ed discovering redstone building in Minecraft and vanishing off the face of the Earth for a month Kat yeah that tracks but idk if anyone else would want to watch a live stream of that maybe tune in occasionally for videos of whatever atrocities unto god this kid managed to do in minecraft this time honestly my grasp of minecraft was 'caves cool', idk how people are doing mystical rituals in there Gill Ed drops highlight reels once every quarter of whatever nonsense he’s managed to do and then if you want to watch his process it is all archived on Twitch in excruciating detail Al makes fun mob farms and then occasionally he and Ed set each other’s stuff on fire for fun Fuery regrets inviting them to his server Kat I would watch a livestream of Alphonse just to bask in his presence as he pets cats in video games Gill Al takes up coding just to make mods so You Can Pet The Cats Ed attempted Fortnite once but kept getting no-scoped out of nowhere by some rando Maybe don’t make your handle Actual_Fullmetal_Alchemist if you don’t want that kind of attention in-game my dude Kat Amestris blue checkmarks…………. Gill Good way for Scar and also internet trolls to ID targets Kat Father: where did my bitcoin go. Greed:
Tumblr media
Gill Of course Of course Father would be into crypto He makes an NFT of the big transmutation circle, also
Kat Re your fma twitch stream concept “The presidents 10 year old headshot me in overwatch and then called me a slur” Gill Ed making a call-out video for Selim over his use of slurs in League of Legends’ voicechat Kat New gamergate Greed: I spent five years curating my beautiful animal crossing village and then my terrible brother broke my hard drive Gill Speaking of animal crossing: it may not be Raymond that Greed gets possessive over but he definitely gets Weird over other people having his favorite villagers in their towns Also: do not discuss shiny Pokémon hunting with this man Kat Ed and Al the incredibly aggressive Pokémon go players Summer 2016 the last peace and joy I knew in my life Gill Ed, about to trespass on government property: This Blastoise better have good IVs. Kat Fights church gyms just to put Pokémon with sacrilegious names in them Gill Ed is the guy nicknaming all his Pokémon “HAIL SATAN” and is part of why gyms stopped displaying Pokémon nicknames Kat Al posts a video on which games you can pet cats in and Scar accidentally likes it Ed: Isn't that the guy who commented 'GOD WILL PUNISH YOU' on my redstone video Al: idk guess he has good taste Gill Alphonse is not personally affiliated with the violent state apparatus and Scar is surprisingly consistent about the ethics of his vengeance quest What can we say Kat Roy is one of those army recruiters going after kids on twitch streams…. they made him do it because he's the youngest Gill Roy, running the Official Amestrian Military Twitch: how do you do, fellow kids. If you have any questions about joining the service let me know! Ed, maybe: hey what’s up, what’s your favorite war crime you’ve committed Kat Roy : the one you will commit for me after I hire you Al: you have to admit he's good Gill Roy’s the one dude they’ve got who can hold his own in an Internet flame war /ba dum tiss Kat lmao commenter: post another video Roy: wow I'm popular commenter: I want to see more of that hot blonde who walked by in the background Roy: hey Gill Ah yes another addition to the “chat inexplicably fascinated by streamer’s partner/roommate/colleague” club Congrats Riza Kat Roy: I get more hits if you're in the videos Riza: I said I would follow you into hell not into tiktok Gill The line must be drawn somewhere Roy Kat Ed gets cancelled by half the internet for disrespecting the troops, reveals his military credentials, gets cancelled by the other half of the internet Gill Why do I still see him trying to take all this with a Knife Cat-meme-type attitude Ah yes. He totally planned for all of this. He has definitely not been owned Kat awful teen Gill Ed: The Internet is great actually, even when you catch shit it means next to nothing in the real world And then he gets doxxed a week later Kat this is what you get for joining the military Ed people keep linking him to a reddit thread tracking Hohenheim as some kind of cryptid Gill Ed like “stop sending me this. That bastard was the one to walk out on us, I’m not about to go chasing after him” Meanwhile Al keeps tabs on the sightings just in case he needs to be braced for a surprise father/son confrontation
23 notes · View notes
bwobgames · 1 year
Text
Previous First
Tumblr media
They reach the second floor
It's still as unsettling as ever
The clock ticks
"It's past 9, but the clock didn't chime. Is it broken?"
"Maybe it's for the best. It was really loud"
Tumblr media
They see a girl get out of one of the rooms carrying various blankets.
"Hey! If that's for the blanket fort, then put them back. It's been canceled!"
"... Who are you"
"Ah, the scary judgmental stare of a teenager who's cooler than you, it should be considered a war tactic"
"I'm Detective Beebo, and this is my partner Detective Ángel, we would like to ask you some questions"
She looks at Ángel weirdly
Tumblr media
"Are you-"
"I am sorry for interrupting, but please do not ask if we are cops. We are not cops. We are private detectives, and we do not associate with the police department "
"Yeah! We don't care about the law!"
"That is not what I said, and I'd like that misinformation to not be repeated anywhere else"
"Hehe"
"I see you opening twitter. Put that down"
"Fine, but I'll keep the hat for longer"
"Wha- you're not even wearing it! Give it back!"
"It's the price to pay for my silence"
"Are you guys done?"
"Ah! Yes, ahem, we wanted to ask you about your father, Mr. Coli"
"Do you happen to know anything about him? What might make him want to commit multiple crimes?"
"... Why are you asking?"
"Me?"
"Not you, you are Oliver Beebo, right?"
"Uh, I am. Have we met before?"
She ignores that and turns to Ángel
Tumblr media
"Aren't you the guy who bought the comp-"
"YES! I BUY MANY THINGS HAHA, JUST A HOBBY FROM DETECTIVE WORK! HAH."
"But that doesn't really matter right now, yeah? This has nothing to do with that, so we don't have to talk about it"
"Wha- have THEY met before?
Did they have a fight over a last product on a supermarket or what"
"... I'll only talk to Beebo"
"What?"
"I have something to ask you"
"Wait, no! We asked first!"
"Please don't tell me Ángel has some sort of rivalry with a 17 year old girl"
Tumblr media
"So? Are you really in a position to ask for anything, 'detective' Ángel?"
"Never mind, you are right, ladies first"
"Uh, so, you'll tell me? About your father?"
"Yes. In private"
Ángel does not look happy. He and the teen are exchanging nasty looks
"He has a rivalry with a 17 year old. Ah man, I already decided to keep him, so better get used to it, I guess"
Tumblr media
"I guess we'll separate for a bit"
"Ah, yeah, it's fine"
"Um, were will you two be?"
"Well, she needs to out those blankets back, so, a room?"
"That's fine, don't try hearing from behind the door, you"
"Wh- I would never!"
"I'll just stay by the stairs.
That way, if anything happens, here or on the first floor, I can quickly check it out!"
"I'd prefer if you weren't alone"
"Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, and I can just call Vivi if I get lonely"
"... Alright, but be safe, okay? Don't you dare not be safe"
He looks a bit sad at that
"I will. Now go get that info from Miss moody teen over there"
"Die"
"Bye-bye to you too"
Oliver and Nadia enter one of the rooms, and there's not much difference between them, just window placement
She puts the blankets down
"So"
Tumblr media
"You know me?"
"Yes, I've looked you up online"
"Oh, do you want to hire me?"
"Not quite, I need to know something from you"
"So do I, I've been told you know more about your father than others"
Tumblr media
She gets quiet
"We can both get what we want"
"You're right"
"Then, let me ask you, Mr. Detective
Have you ever heard about
Tumblr media
House anatomy"
45 notes · View notes
limetameta · 2 years
Note
What would Kimbliza be like as parents? You said before that they'd never have kids, but what if they HAD TO. Love your Crimsonverse series, btw! Thank you for writing it.
Well, first of all, you're so right anon, they would never willingly have kids. But let's say Riza becomes pregnant, doesn't notice because she and her periods have always had a fucked up relationship, and now she's in Ishval, killing and committing war crimes, all while pregnant. There's something inside of her, oh wow. If that isn't body horror, I don't know what is! Riza's the type of person that wouldn't tell anyone about this, I feel. She'd shoulder this burden all on her own. By this I mean she wouldn't tell Roy or Maes. She corners Kimblee just as he's about to go give his last report, since yay the war's over (oh shit the war's over and he's most likely going to be asked to give back the ph stone), and when she tells him: ''Sir, permission to speak freely?'' ''Granted, cadet.'' ''Sir, I am fucking pregnant.'' This THROWS Kimblee SO OFF his game that when he's asked to return the ph stone he DOES IT, he doesn't blow anyone up, he's still thinking about this???? And he's a bit unnerved. Just a tad. A fraction. This has irrevocably fucked his whole day up. And possibly his life. ''Are you going to get rid of it?''
''It's too late for that.''
''But if if weren't...you would have gotten rid of it?''
''Yes, sir.''
''Good.'' Kimblee's on a verge of a nervous breakdown. He's just returned the ph stone and is going to be a father with a woman younger than him whose kill count is terrifying for a non state alchemist. Neither of them are ready to be parents. Neither of them ever WANTED to be parents. ''I mean, not that it helps to dwell on what ifs, of course. The situation is there's a baby.''
Riza? Riza's on a verge of falling unconscious from the stress and horror she's under. (let's assume berthold's given her a talk that in summary is YOU FALL PREGNANT? YOU DIE)
''Do you want to get married?'' Kimblee doesn't mean to propose, he's just asking. Informatively. The war's over. He gave away his power. His life's taking strange turns.
''Taxes are much more lenient for a marriage of two officers.'' Riza says. It's as good of a yes as it gets in this situation.
''Ah, but there is the matter of my being your commanding officer.'' Kimblee isn't sure if he's trying to talk himself out of this or Riza.
Riza remembers Grumman. ''I may know someone who might be able to help us get around that.''
''You don't even like me, do you?'' Kimblee asks. He's neurotically twirling a cigarette between his fingers. Contemplating whether or not to light it. He could really use a cigarette.
''I don't dislike you.'' Riza says.
Kimblee is patting himself down for a lighter. Doesn't find it. Pats himself down again. Starts looking around for one. Riza sighs, deeply.
''Major Mustang,'' Riza calls Roy over. He comes over.
''Yes, Hawkeye?''
''Light Major Kimblee's cigarette, would you?''
The man's never before been more confused in his entire life. He does it anyway. Because it must be important for her.
''Now that you're here, you might as well be invited to the wedding.'' Kimblee says, taking a drag of the cigarette and filling his lungs with the burn that hopefully will clear his head up.
''You're getting married?'' Roy asks Kimblee. ''Who would have you?''
Riza just slowly raises her hand. Through a lump in her throat, she just chokes out: ''Surprise.''
''You know you're most likely pregnant with twins.'' Kimblee drops the bomb on her and she's ready to tear open her stomach right then and there and scoop the flesh out of herself in a primordial horror only known to women.
** Maes thinks this is the best thing to ever happen to anyone ever. He's overjoyed for the both of them. Roy is throwing up right next to Riza. Kimblee's oscillating between being satisfied with himself for getting the best sniper of Amestris as his wife and then remembering that she is a deeply troubled young woman (he knows his niche market) and that they're entering something that is clearly not equivalent exchange. They had an hour or so of good fun and now this kid's asking for 18 years of their life. It just isn't fair.
** It's one baby. No twins. Apparently it skips a generation. ** Roy won't destroy the flame alchemy because Riza's pregnant. But Riza's absolutely in a bad place mentally, worried about her life, this baby's life, Kimblee seeing the arrays on her back, Berthold laughing at her and telling her this is what she deserves for joining the military, all of the horrors she's faced in Ishval. So she disfigures herself. Girlboss moment. That lands her in the hospital. It's botched. She didn't do a good enough job before the shock kicked in and she fainted from the pain.
*** Roy finally does it. Because Riza just tells him she'll do it however many times it takes until she destroys her back. ''I should've done it the moment he died. I shouldn't have ever given it to anyone.'' The hormones are making her rather emotional. Which is a feat, because no one's ever actually seen Riza emotional before.
*** The moment when Riza sits Kimblee down and just says: ''There's a lot.''
''Yes, I did figure you had a lot of emotional baggage when you landed in bed with me.'' It's that sort of self-awareness that makes Riza smile. It goes a lot more smoothly than she thought it would. Kimblee sees what's left of the flame alchemy formula on her back and grimaces: ''I have my own alchemy.'' He says. As if it isn't obvious. ''It's a marvel, certainly, but I have no intention of stealing another man's work when I've fulfilled my own need for creation and research by my own merit. And not by something that's passed down.'' And he says it with such glee, because to him this proves he's the better alchemist than Roy, who couldn't design his own alchemy, who needed it handed down to him like a hand-out. He kisses Riza with such gratitude for showing him this. ''You truly had nothing to worry about.''
And Riza's inclined to believe him.
*** Except one open talk between two future parents doesn't mean that Riza's trauma is erased. Far from it. The more she gets closer to the due date, the more she's panicking. Because if she dies. God. If she dies she'll leave the child alone with Kimblee. Alone with an alchemist. How her mother left her with her father. An alchemist. How her father hurt her. How he forced his alchemy onto her because that was all that mattered to him. And if Berthold cared about alchemy, then Kimblee's fanatic about it. The thoughts plague her. She can't sleep. She even pulls a gun on Kimblee, who, by this point has become rather used to this. If he had a ph stone he'd have already bailed by now, but since he doesn't - he knows Mustang would definitely win in a fight against him. Being charred to ashes isn't really how Kimblee envisioned himself going.
''What's this on about now?''
''Where are your alchemy notes?''
Kimblee props himself up on his elbows. It's 4 in the morning. He's barely awake. His bed hair is horrendous. ''Excuse me?''
''Your alchemy notes. Where are they? Did you write them down?'' Riza's going to pull the trigger then and there if Kimblee says they're all in his head because leaving a paper trail is dangerous. It's dangerous until he gets his hands on that child of theirs. Hers. Nobody's going to hurt her kid.
Kimblee rolls out of bed and pulls Riza to come with him to the dresser. He pulls away some of the hanging suits. There's a small door in the wall which he taps and it opens. Out of there he just takes stacks of papers. Music notes. She's reminded that he plays the piano. That he's told her his parents are musicians. Riza takes her finger off of the trigger and lowers the gun. She just breaks down crying then. There aren't really any tears, but she's shaking so much and cursing Berthold for doing this to her, for the fact that he couldn't be normal and code his alchemy like everyone else. That he's instilled so much fear inside of her heart that's never going to leave. Ever. That she isn't able to trust anyone to do anything.
He pulls her gently back to bed and sits next to her, letting her lean on his shoulder. ''Would you like to meet my sister?'' Kimblee asks her out of the blue. ''You told me that when your mother died you were left all alone with Berthold. I can assure you that if you die, I'll just hand our child off to my family. I don't want the sole responsibility of a child.''
Riza's never been more relieved in her life. ''Yes, sure.''
*************** Kimblee's family is...very normal. Like, absurdly normal. Riza's waiting for them to show their true faces at any moment, thinking that they're just being nice to her because she's new.
''Solf,'' his mother scowls, ''you should have told us you had gotten married.''
''You'd have invited the entire neighbourhood.''
''He just eloped.'' The sister is teasing. ''But I can definitely see why. Riza's quite an interesting character.'' Conspiratorially she leans into her space and winks. ''I thought he was going to die a virgin you know. I can show you some photos of us back in our music school. He was really ugly. Had massive acne and his only interest was alchemy. I was really worried he wouldn't know his way around a woman. His idea of dirty talk is probably all about how much he's going to make this a night of equivalent exchange, or whatever.''
''Only the acne's changed, then.'' Riza says.
The sister laughs so hard the wine goes flying out of her mouth.
Solf just grimaces at the two of them. His barbs back to his sister verge on cruel, but the sister returns them tenfold crueller. There's a teasing undertone to their threats. Nothing how Berthold used to speak to her when she was a child.
The mother's nice, too. She's rather awkward around Riza and her giant belly. And the tiny Kimblee inside of her. On one hand she doesn't want to pry but on another she can't help but blurt out: ''So, is it a boy or a girl?''
''Girl.'' Riza and Kimblee say at the same time.
''Yes,'' the sister says, making a fist ''yes, we're taking over the Kimblee household. All of the Kimblee men are dying off. Solf, we'll bury you in the backyard, btw, because we're not going to waste money on a coffin for you.''
''I have made my wishes plainly clear. I want my body to be preserved and stuffed like a stuffed animal carcass that you're all going to parade around from time to time and scare the neighbourhood children with.''
The sister's laughing before Riza can actually ask if Solf's serious.
The mother scoffs: ''Honestly, Solf, you and your insane ideas. I was planning on cutting you up into many pieces and putting you in the freezer. Do you know how much we'd save on meat for a couple of weeks?''
She's beginning to understand why Kimblee's the way he is. Because Kimblee's absolutely smiling at what, to him, is obviously a great joke.
Kimblee's mother pats Riza on the back and gingerly says: ''Chin up, dearest, we're an odd bunch but we don't bite.'' ****************
The baby comes. It's really difficult to raise a child. They pawn her off at Maes and Gracia's VERY, VERY OFTEN.
''Don't you want to spend time and see all her milestones?'' Maes is wiggling the little baby's foot. ''Come on, mama and dada are here.''
Riza and Kimblee are both on child's leave. They do rock paper sissors every month to see who'll win out of the majority of the months. The winner gets back to work and the loser has to stay longer at home to take care of the child.
Kimblee loses. Riza's never before been glad for Roy teaching her how to psyche someone out in Rock paper scissors before in HER LIFE.
***************** The kiddo grows up with very 'we're kind of here but not really' parents. Like they don't abuse the kid, but they haven't actually bonded with her either.
''Do you think men can have post-partum depression?''
Riza just scoffs at him. ''Don't be ridiculous, Solf.''
''I didn't know you were sexist, Riza. Colour me surprised.''
Riza hates that Kimblee's sense of humour is rubbing off on her okay. She fucking hates that she's laughing with him so much. But really, if she didn't laugh at her husband's jokes it would be a bit sad, wouldn't it? ************ Kimblee's family wants to be very hands on. Neither Kimblee nor Riza mind at all.
''You turned out okay.'' RIza says. ''Your sister turned out normal.''
Their kid says mama to Gracia and papa to Kimblee's sister.
''This is the funniest thing to ever happen to me.'' Kimblee's laughing his ass off. Riza's looking at their daughter and calling her so, so dumb. ''Just because Gracia's blonde, sweetie, doesn't mean she's your mama.''
''The long hair really makes it so my sister looks like me, doesn't it?''
''It could actually be that both Gracia and your sister have done more for her than we have as parents.'' Riza says.
Kimblee inclines his head to agree. Yeah, you know, that's not that far off from the truth. They'd let their kid be a latchkey kid at three if she could reach the door lock.
**************** Roy Mustang absolutely spoils their child rotten.
''If he gives her more chocolate, I'm going to cry.'' Kimblee says. ''Have you tried putting her down for a nap after she's inhaled fourteen chocolate cubes?''
''No, can't say that I have. I'm at work, you know.'' Riza rubs it in his face and kisses him. He scowls but obliges her.
************ Edward Elric is absolutely terrified of Kimblee. But when he learns the guy has a kid with Hawkeye he's a little less inclined to be terrified. Because he and Hawkeye are best buds. She's like his older sister.
''Soo, you committed human transmutation?'' Kimblee's idea of an opening line is priceless.
Edward's piggybacking his kid. ''Uh, yeah.''
''You shouldn't lift her, you know. She might be too heavy for someone of your stature.''
''DID YOU JUST CALL ME FUCKING SHORT?!'' Ed makes a show of very gently setting Riza's daughter down on the floor, before absolutely launching himself at Kimblee.
Kimblee will never hit a defenceless child, it's beneath him - but out of self defence he will do a lot to finally unleash some of that pent up rage being a stay at home father's done to him. (for now. his parental leave's almost over and he'll finally be back - but in the meantime he will knock a twelve year old into the ground)
TLDR: I think they'd be really stupid parents who clearly didn't want a kid, but they'd make the best out of it since they're very good at openly communicating and being adults. plus they've got a village to help raise the child so it's easier on them than if they had no one. if they had no one, kimblee would either be shot, riza would be blown up, and the child would most likely be smothered under a pillow.
12 notes · View notes
Note
What's going on in the meeting?
[ The door creaks open, there stands Ozpin, dressed in an outfit that is probably costs more than some people’s cars. You take note of the uncomfortable look he has on his face towards the outfit. You remember that he’s not a man who finds joy in flashing his money. ]
[ Subnivean’s attention is drawn to the sound of the door, and he smiles excitedly, standing up to go greet the other man. ]
Subnivean: ah! Hello Councilman Pine, it’s such a pleasure to see you!
[ He takes Ozpin’s hand in both of his and shakes it. ]
Ozpin: you as well, General. You wanted to speak with me?
Subnivean: I did, yes, I wanted to speak to you about a possible course of action we could take to protect the people of Remnant against those who seek to harm them.
Ozpin: I see, what would that be?
Subnivean: I want something that would crack down on magic users, ever since the war has ended, more and more crimes have been being committed by magic wielders and I can’t help but find it….concerning. This would crack down on these people and put them into prison like all the other criminals.
I’ve repurposed the necromancer prisons to house magic wielders, as those prisons are more suited for magic and people who wield it rather than a normal prison. A normal prison would be destroyed easily if magic wielders were put into it.
I’ve also repurposed the pursuer battalion to help with this matter, necromancers, healers, shapeshifters, and revived all get arrested if they break the law now just like how if humans do that, they get charged and put in prison too
[ Ozpin’s stomach turns, he goes pale before carefully speaking. ]
Ozpin: How would the prisons exactly handle the prisoners?
Subnivean: well, because of so many of those in the prisons being magic wielders, we have to unfortunately be much tougher on them.
Ozpin: I see…may I ask you something?
Subnivean: anything
Ozpin: how do you view the necromancer population? I will accept any answer, of course. I’m not a…..*he swallows* judgemental….man.
2 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media
Game of Thrones - 31 TYRION IV (pages 314-327)
Tyrion, Catelyn and their slap-dash party head into the Vale to see Tyrion face justice for a crime he didn't commit. Bad times are had by all.
-
All his life, Tyrion had prided himself on his cunning, the only gift the gods had seen fit to give him, and yet this seven-times-damned she-wolf Catelyn Stark had outwitted him at every turn. The knowledge was more galling than the bare fact of his abduction.
>:3 ehehehehe Ah, Catelyn, the old 'publicly announce we're going one way and then actually go the other way' trick. Nice. I just really wish we hadn't gotten to this point.
"How many times must I swear to that? Lady Stark, whatever you may believe of me, I am not a stupid man. Only a fool would arm common padfoot with his own blade."
And we all know Tyrion is hording the majority of the Lannister Brain allowance. Unlike Joffrey who said 'no thanks' to his portion. Another point in Tyrions favour? He's a dwarf, he constantly mentions his physical pains that result from activities many people accept as typical tasks, he's basically got chronic pain and mobility issues. Of all the Lannisters, he's the least likely to off someone for perceived illness and/or disabilities.
"Why would Petyr lie to me?" "Why does a bear shit in the woods?" he demanded. "Because it is his nature. Lying comes as easily to breathing to a man like Littlefinger. You ought to know that, you of all people." She took a step toward him, her face tight. "And what does that mean, Lannister?" Tyrion cocked his head. "Why, every man at court had heard him tell how he took your maidenhead, my lady."
Petyr is a despicable little creep. I know (from meta) that he genuinely believes it, that it was Catelyn and not Lysa that time, but damn. Don't go telling people you de-virgined her. Though I suppose we all know he doesn't love or respect her, he's just obsessed with her, so of course he doesn't care about any damage to her reputation. Only the bolster to his own, and his ego.
Ser Rodrik shouted "Winterfell!" and rode to meet him, with Bronn and Chiggen beside him, screaming some wordless battle cry. Ser Willis Wode followed, swinging a spike morningstar around his head. "Harrenhal! Harrenhal!" he sang. Tyrion felt the sudden urge to leap up, brandishing his axe, and boom out "Casterly Rock!" but the insanity passed quickly and he crouched down lower.
ah, the part where everyone channels their inner Pokémon. Good on Tyrion for knowing his own abilities and when to not do the thing.
Tyrion put the heel on the grasping fingers and felt a satisfying crunch. "Close your eyes and pretend you're dead," he advised the singer before he hefted the axe and turned away.
On the one hand: HA! Karma bitch! On the other hand: Ohhhhh, Tyrion has a mean streak, and it is scary vicious.
She had a dagger clutched awkwardly in her maimed hands, but her back was to the rock now and they had her penned on three sides. Let them have the bitch, Tyrion thought, and welcome to her, yet somehow he was moving.
Because despite your best efforts, you're a good man at heart.
"As I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted," Tyrion began, "there is a serious flaw in Littlefinger's fable. Whatever you may believe of me, Lady Stark, I promise you this - I never bet against my family."
I love how that says so much about him, but how it also sounds so ominous.
This whole arc just pisses me off so much, because Catelyn is acting emotionally yes, but she's also acting with the information she has, which unfortunately for her, is about as real as hair on a Hutt.
I really feel like after Littlefinger told her the knife's origin she didn't double check with Santagar or whatever his name was. it doesn't even matter if you trust your source in a murder investigation: verify
Maybe your source thinks they're telling you the truth but has bad information, maybe they're actually a lying sack of shit who want to cause a civil war so he can off your husband and free you up for a second marriage.
0 notes
mrslunasnape · 2 years
Text
Tumblr media
The Prince Fought The Moon
Change
Chapter 25 - SFW
Luna spent the night packing. She couldn't stand to be in the castle a day longer, especially knowing that her and Severus's bedrooms shared a wall.
"Locomoto trunk." she whispered with sniffle, and she, and her life packed in a box, left the dungeons.
She made her way to the Gargoyle Corridor on the second floor and uttered "cockroach cluster" to the Stairwell Gargoyle.
There was a loud clanging noise, as if gears and stone were grinding, and the gargoyle began to spin. A moving spiral staircase rose from the ground and began to tightly wind its way towards the ceiling. Luna stepped onto the staircase and rode it to the top, stepping off when she had reached the headmaster's office.
She knocked hesitantly on the door.
"Yes?" called a warm voice from within.
"I was hoping for a word..." Luna said solemnly. 
The door swung open and Luna was greeted by the sight of Albus sitting at his desk. His room was lined with portraits of Headmasters gone by, all of whom appeared to be asleep at the moment. "What can I do for you, Professor Lightfoot?"
Luna slunk into a velvet lined chair across from Dumbledore's desk.
"Ah, something unpleasant then." he said knowingly as he peered at her from behind his half-moon glasses.
"I..." Luna began, struggling to find the words, "I know you said my job would be here so long as I wanted to remain at Hogwarts..."
"But you no longer see yourself staying?" Albus finished for her.
"No..." Luna whispered.
"Well, I would never force someone to stay against their will. Although, I must tell you that your presence at this school will be deeply missed." He paused for a moment, "I wonder if you could humor an old man by hearing out another job offer?"
"Of course, Albus." she said.
"Do you remember the wizard who just over a year ago escaped from Azkaban?" Dumbledore questioned.
"How could I forget? We patrolled the halls nearly every night to make sure that Sirius Black didn't get into the castle." Luna said, her interest peaked.
"Yes, well, it appears that perhaps we were wrong about Sirius Black." 
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it turns out that Sirius Black was not the man who killed all those muggles. Nor was he the man who killed Peter Pettigrew. In fact, Peter is very much alive."
"What?" Luna said shocked.
"Sirius Black spent twelve years in Azkaban being punished for crimes, that in truth, Peter had committed. You see, Peter was a traitor, and was working for Voldemort all along."
Luna winced at the sound of this name.
"Peter has returned to his master's side now I'm afraid." Dumbledore said seriously.
"You mean he's back..." Luna questioned cautiously. 
"Oh, yes. Harry saw his resurrection himself. He has returned, along with several loyal Death Eaters." Dumbledore continued.
At the words "Death Eaters", images of Severus's forearm flashed into Luna's head. 
"Albus!" She said, suddenly panicked, "Severus has a death mark on his arm. I saw it myself tonight. If he-who-must-no-be-named has really returned, then we have to do something about Severus."
"You can trust Severus." Dumbledore said calmly, as if none of this information was new to him.
"But he-" Luna began.
"I trust him implicitly, and so should you." Dumbledore said a little more sternly.
Luna sat in silence, the rush of thoughts in her hear were much to loud for her to speak.
"Now then, about that job offer..." Dumbledore began, "During the first rise of Voldemort, I formed a secret society known as The Order of the Phoenix in order to fight him. Now that it would appear that Voldemort is once again rising into power, I am once again gathering The Order to answer the call of battle. If you're interested, a potions master is a valuable thing to have in your pocket during a time of war."
"I'll do it." Luna said without hesitation. "I won't sit idly by and watch he-who-must-not-be-named carry out a genocide."
"You won't sit by and watch Voldemort carry out a genocide." Dumbledore corrected her, "Always use the proper name for things. Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself."
"I won't sit by and watch V- Voldemort carry out a genocide." she stuttered.
"If you're interested, I'm sure the other members of The Order can fill you in on the history of The Order and just where we stand in our current efforts against Voldemort." Dumbledore said as he began to write on a rather small piece of parchment.
"I am the secret keeper for the order." Dumbledore began, "This is where you can find our base of operations. Make sure you memorize it, for no one else but me will be able to help you find the location should you forget."
He held up the tiny piece of parchment so that she could read it.
The headquarters of The Order of the Phoenix may be found at number twelve, Grimmauld Place, London.
"Do you have it?" Dumbledore asked.
Luna nodded, and with that Dumbledore tossed the piece of parchment behind him. It made contact with Fawkes, and instantly burst into flames.
Luna left that night for London.
0 notes
nabesthetics · 2 years
Note
May I ask why you think Muriel's route is a mess? (I've been saving coins for his route but now I'm scared 😰) Is there anything good about it or should I stay away from it?
Ahhhh it's difficult to talk about without giving massive spoilers, because the thing is, I mainly mean the last half of the route. And endings specifically. There are some things in the early-ish route I have problems with (that first kiss is killing me not in a good way), but overall I actually really enjoyed the first half of it. Hell, Muriel used to compete with Julian as my favorite character. And then… the Masquerade happened and we just have missed opportunities layered with insonsistent lore like a very bad storytelling lasagna.
Now, if you're less focused on the Major Arcana lore then it won't be as big on an issue to you I think, and many people do enjoy the route. But… [massive spoilers for the latter half of the route under the cut. Points 4-6 are spoilers for endings.]
(Edit: to actually answer the question, I definitely don’t think you should stay away from the route, there is a lot of nice, wholesome content in there! But if worldbuilding/storytelling and whatnot are important to you… just don’t have very high expectations and focus on the fact that your MC gets to hug the mountain man, hahahah)
1. they butchered Devil!Lucio's potential so badly oh my god
And no this isn't coming from the perspective of a "redeemed Lucio" fan, this is actually connected to this take on the Devil!Characters. "Canonic" Devil!Lucio is literally just Lucio with a "limited edition spooky skin". For just a moment at the very beginning of his appearance he says something along the lines of "Ah yes, they used to call me Lucio" implying that he's NOT Lucio anymore. And that would make an interesting, threatening antagonist! Too bad the entire concept was then thrown out of the window to never be used again. He doesn't use the Devil's magic. He has none of the Devil's cunning. He's literally the same dumbass except now with horns and edgier eyeliner. And a ridiculously incompetent army.
2. It's still not clear what the hell happened to Muriel's mark. I mean, Julian had to die to lose his. Muriel's just kinda disappears without any troubles? All while it could be used for a gloriously dramatic moment where the MC's myrrh charm is taken away and they have to break through the mark's magic using their newfound Fool "magic immunity" powers? smh
3. Oh right the Fool thing IS NOT EVEN BROUGHT UP. It's the only route where the MC's abilities are completely irrelevant, sans for being used once and never explained, even though they would fit perfectly with the mark thing as I mentioned. Don't get me wrong I adore magic archery, though again it was hardly even used in the route, but it feels like the MC's identity should be touched upon?? The cards don't really exist in the route either.
4. The whole "games" thing is just… so out of nowhere and doesn't fit the entire mood of everything that happened previously. Like, you know. War. Armies. Murder. And ah yes a Slav character + drinking contest haha funni right?
5. The final confrontation of the Upright ending is… American football.
6. Other routes: "you can't kill an idea, there must always be a Devil, killing the Devil turns the person who did the killing into the next Devil" Muriel's Reversed: "leleley leleleleley leleleley" "anyway you can kill an idea from human subconscious actually, the world just spawns monsters now because who needs lore continuity"
7. Muriel deserved better
There are probably other things but I think this gives a good idea on why this route fills me with enough salt to commit a crime against slugs.
46 notes · View notes
racebox-of-higgars · 3 years
Text
Newsies As Things My Friends Have Said - Part Eight
Albert: ᶦ ʷᶦˡˡ ᵏᶦᶜᵏ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵃˢˢ ˢᵒ ʰᵃʳᵈ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵛᵉʳᵗᵉᵇʳᵃᵉ ᵖᵒᵖ ᵒᵘᵗ ᵒᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵐᵒᵘᵗʰ ˡᶦᵏᵉ ᵃ ᵖᵉᶻ ᵈᶦˢᵖᵉⁿˢᵉʳ
-
Jack: I just wanna put my brain in a jar. I'll proudly show it off to people like "look at my jar of electric meats!"
-
Crutchie: I wish I could not give a fuck
Crutchie: i give So Much Of A Fuck All The Time
-
Spot: godDAMMIT we can't iron fries
-
Race: I DIDNT MNWO THAT WAS QHERE EYE
Spot: mnwo
Jack: qhere
Race: wow homophobic
Race: AND ON THE LAST FAY OF PRIDE LONTH TOO
Spot: fay
Jack: lonth
-
Les: hama me chees
Davey: literally what the fuck does this mean
-
Race: y'all ever just. gay disgust
-
Davey: alas,, suffer
-
Jack: anyway i'm stupid, moving on
-
Race: I W A N Y
Race: WABT
Race: FUCK
Spot: wany
Jack: wabt
Race: himjphobic
Spot: hiMjPhoBIc
-
Crutchie: THEYRE SO IN LOV
Crutchie: AND IM S ONF T ABOUTBIT
-
Race: y'all every just be begging your brain to let you sleep like. in tears. pl,, plea se,,,, when sleep???? and your brain is just like. *sound of a potato rotating*
-
Jack: Capitalism is the bane of my existence
-
Davey: I AM BUT A STUPID LITTLE BOY WITH A STUPID LITTLE BRAIN
-
Race: ah yes, the good ol' scream n stral
-
Albert: This is a technique I like to call the good ol' Spin n Yeet
-
Race: swiggity swag taco bell in a bag
-
Katherine: There's os much representation in this pirate crew of milfs i'm crying
-
Elmer, sobbing: my soup exploded in the microwave
-
Race: I'm in spain without the w
Race: Wait
-
Crutchie: I just don't have,, legs
Jack: n O
-
Albert: I swear to god I will crush your nuts
Race: Jokes on you god nerfed me and I have no nuts to smash
Jack, having just been kicked in the balls: I wouldn't consider that a bad thing
-
Race: Homophobic
A Straight: How is that homophobic??
Race: You are inconveniencing me, A Gay
-
Katherine: Too much is happening there is Several Brain
-
Davey: Please don't rub my bones
-
Race: Jesus, he's cool, Jesus is my bitch
-
Jack, longingly: What is family?
-
Race: I got to show off my mad feet skills
Davey: Do I want to ask?
Race: No
-
Elmer: Time to get my blood good and frothy!
-
Race: The pussy wagon has left
Race: That felt wrong I formally apologise
-
Race, during a thunderstorm: Clapping them cloud bussies
Davey: Your speaking rights have been revoked
-
Race: You can't beat a Robin Hood furry costume!
-
Race: My list of disorders is longer than your dick!
Davey: I don't know whether I should be concerned for you or impressed by how good that insult was
Race: Both
-
Race: Who says fist fights and running from the cops can't be romantic? Spot: That's true love right there, war crimes
Race: Correct
Race: So,,, wanna go commit war crimes with me?
-
Race: Bussy full of beans???
Race: He put,,, he put beans in his bussy????
Elmer: What's a bussy?
-
Jack: I'm a fruit, put me in some granola
-
Albert: TELL ME WHAT'S IN YOU YOU OATY FUCK
-
Jack: You can't have abs and support Trump, that's just homophobic
-
Katherine: Y'all ever just,,, cavetown but make it lesbian??
-
Jack: It's pride month I'm legally required to love myself for this month only
-
Katherine: Man, sometimes I get sad and just milf
-
Sarah: how talk to girl girl pretty
Albert: Just do better??? learn to lesbian???
-
Katherine: I got my milf chocolates!
Jack: How are your milf chocolates?
Katherine: creamy
-
Spot: Oh, it's a strap
Albert: Famous last words
-
Jack: self reflection is OUT, being your friends personal fun house mirror is IN
-
uh yeah i'm sorry
@angelslibrary
69 notes · View notes
nhi-theuserof-this · 3 years
Text
Cackles in lore
Come get your food everyone
TW/CW: underage drinking, swearing, uhhhh, spoilers up to dec 16
The Antarctic Empire had practically taken over the world as they abused the way maps were supposed to be made, and only in a short matter of time too. Phil and Techno individually hadn’t expected this kind of outcome, only for seperate reasons but nevertheless were glad it turned out this way.
SMP Earth had eventually come to a stop and so did the ability to stay in the world.
“So what are your plans when this is all over?” Phil murmured cracking open a beer and passing it to Techno as they enjoyed one of the last sunsets to happen on the server.
“Nothin much, I had a side war with another guy on a different server and that ones looking pretty close to the end.” Technoblade took a long swig from the beer bottle as his eyes wandered aimlessly around the terrain.
“You should come with me for awhile, I’ve kept in touch with my family and I think they’d like you.”
“Maybe in the future then.”
-
At midnight, exactly a week and two days after the end of SMP Earth that Philza had gotten a message that Technoblade was coming to visit and needed permission into his world, and at three twenty-nine in the morning Technoblade had logged onto the world.
“What’s going on Techno? It’s three in the morning.” Phil asked as he walked down the steps of his porch and began walking towards where Technoblade had appeared.
“Oh. Sorry, forgot sleep schedules are a thing.” Techno murmured, “I wanted to visit to let you know I’ve won the potato war in person since this is an optimal excuse to see you.”
And like that, the two spent until six-thirty celebrating Technos victory.
“Dad?” Came the voice of one of Phils children after Technoblade logged off.
“Oh! Hey there Wilbur, why’re you up so early?”
“I woke up to you talking with that guy that just left, who was he?”
“He’s a friend I made while I was in SMP Earth, he wanted to stop by to catch up. Now go back to sleep, it’s still early in the morning.”
“Okay dad.” Wilbur mumbled turning to go back upstairs.
-
It had been a few weeks since the first visit, a steady on and off random visits schedule had begun to form in that time, Technoblade visiting in the late hours of the night and leaving just before late hours. Today seemed to be quite different however, a notification appearing in chat informing Phil someone had joined the world with no prior notice.
“Dad? Who’s that?” Tommy asked looking up at Phil.
“It seems a friend of mine has joined, you go sit down and eat your breakfast before it gets cold.” Phil replied ushering Tommy to sit at the table Wilbur was seated at.
Before Phil was Technoblade standing on the porch in a slouch nervously looking at the now open door. “Techno?”
“Heya Phil, surprise?”
“You know that still doesn’t answer my question man.”
.
“Dad Dad! Wil and Techno are twins!” Tommy shouted as Phil entered the room with a cup of coffee.
“Yeah, me and him have the exact same birthday.”
Philza sputtered for a moment. “Your fifteen Techno?”
“I know right?”
“What- does this mean I’ve committed war crimes with a fifteen year old?”
“No, you were committing war crimes with a thirteen to fourteen year old, don’t know if that’s any better though.”
Wilbur let out a long laugh as Techno let out a small grin while Philza was practically going through the five stages of grief.
-
I honestly am having trouble making a cohesive story so have a very large amount of script format interconnected memes
-
Phil: You’re what?
Techno: Nonono- Phil you got it all wrong-
Phil: *sighs in relief*
Techno: I’m fifteen not wHaT.
Phil:
Phil: *sounds of adoption papers*
-
Phil: *is drinking beer*
Techno: *walks into the room*
Phil: Want one?
Techno:
Phil:
Phil: *slowly looks away*
-
Tommy to Wilbur: You ever wonder what alcohol tastes like?
Techno who’s also in the room: It’s okay for the most part, people act like it’s way better than it actually is though
Tommy and Wilbur:
Techno:
Techno: ah,,
-
at the festival*
Techno: *is drowning in the water tank*
Fundy: *takes a beer from a cooler*
Techno, still inside the tank: Don’t drink that Fundy that brand is gross
Fundy: I haven’t ever seen you drink
Techno: That doesn’t mean anything when laws don’t matter to me
Fundy:
Fundy: Shut up you’re supposed to be drowning
-
Post pit fight with Tommy*
Wilbur: What are you doing Techno?
Techno: *Glances at the bottle of beer*
Wilbur:
Wilbur: How many.
Techno: uhhhhh
Wilbur:
Techno: You should be the last person to judge how I cope Wilbur.
-
Shlatt: *has a fucking heart attack* *dies*
Everyone: *celebrates*
Techno: woo! We killed an old man with heart problems!
Later
Techno: I wonder if it was actually something in that drink that actually killed him..
Phil:
Techno:
Some time after Techno beats the shit out of Quackity and runs away from the execution*
Tubbo: Philza how were you so calm the whole time?
Quackity: We literally had an execution set up to kill your son.
Phil:
Phil: my what?
Tubbo: Your son? Technoblade??
Phil: He’s not my son.
Tubbo: Doesn’t he have the same birthday Wilbur did??
Phil: He does.
Quackity and Tubbo: ???
Phil: He might be like a son but we’re more like war buddies after committing so many war crimes together back on SMP Earth.
Tubbo: What?
Quackity: What the fUucK??
And now for our sponsors!
@nicarose24 @sam-grey @rememtale @a-moth-called-mof @jklpopcorn @netheritenugget @theicingonacoke @internet-or-sleep @strawberiitea @imnotentirelycertain @demiphoenix66 @letluigisaythefword @potatos-are-best @itsfiveoclock @glaxyjellyfish @whatareusernames @rstrawberrytea @rlchaos @canadianinja @salamencerobot @marshquid @ye-olde-party-times @star-fruit23 @hellwo-block-men-make-me-cry @storm-wayne-kent
Have a good day!
171 notes · View notes
dreamsmp-au-ideas · 3 years
Note
I've been playing around with the Dream SMP hunger games simulator for fun but since i got "Eret gets exiled from l'manburg for commiting war crimes" AND "Ranboo is questioning his sanity" (why are these even an option. Seriously.) in the same run when I opened it for the first time, I see this as an act of god(the admin) and I declare it's time for a Hunger Games AU.
Let's traumatise all of them even more! Most of them should probably be victors because if we shove everyone into one game it's fun for the angst but for nothing else really. I propose Dream either as the Gamemaster (if we want evil dream) or one of the career victors who now mentors younger tribute and who is most likely secretly a member of the rebels.
Eret has absolutely won their games by pretending to be a friend and then backstabbing everybody and is shunned even by most victors because of this. Sapnap probably set most of the arena on fire and killed everybody that way.
Wilbur has won his games but they mentally broke him and now he's very unstable. Sometimes he forgets the games ecer happened and he calls out to his former friends who are all now either dead or have nothing to do with him anymore (like ghostbur with the memory repression). But now there's a kid from his district reaped that he needs to mentor... And that's how Tommy enters the picture.
Tubbo's probably another tribute with whom Tommy bonds in training and they stick together during their time in the arena. The end depends on how angsty we want to make this :). I don't know where Fundy is in this. Maybe he's still Wilbur's son and Wilbur's so overprotective of him because the capitol would use Fundy in a hearbeat to hurt Wilbur if he steps out of line?
I don't really have anything for the badlands yet but maybe some sympathetic capitol people? Awesamdude at least has to be a victor from district three. There's just the question what the prison is... Maybe some of the victors who are secretly rebels have to stay behind/get captured when the rebellion comes to get tommy (and potentially tubbo?)?
Ah yes. The Hunger Games. That is rough. That’s really rough. Oh god.
All of this hurts. Oh man.
I like the idea of the Badlands being capitol people who knows that this is wrong and that this isn’t right. I like that. I also like that Tubbo is a tribute that Tommy bonds with intraining.
But please let this have a sort of happy ending. Please. I love them all too much.
Anyways this hurts me. Oh no. It hurts me a lot.
103 notes · View notes
scarletjedi · 3 years
Text
Untitled Untamed Time Travel Fixit AU but make it Mingcheng
@piyo-13
Part 1
Part 2A
PART 2B: GUSU UNLEASHED
Nie Huaisang immediately grabs a piece of blank paper to write a message back to Nie Mingjue, leaving Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian staring at each other. “Well,” Wei Wuxian said after a minute. “Aren’t you going to write to him, too?”
Jiang Cheng startled, he’d been too caught up in Huaisang’s words, “He’s alive!”. He had been prepared to go through the process of meeting Nie Mingjue again, of hopefully catching his attention, of watching A-Jue fall for him the way Jiang Cheng had fallen years ago — that his lover was here, alive, and *knew him* had not had time to process.
Trembling, Jiang Cheng moved from his bed, weak limbs pouring him like water until he was sat up against the table, taking the paper that Huaisang handed him. He stared, blankly. What to *say*?
“Tell him you love him,” Wei Wuxian said from his bed.
“Tsk, he knows that,” Jiang Cheng said with little snap.
“Then tell him you want to fuc—”
“Ah, la la la la!” Nie Huaisang said, covering his ears, and Wei Wuxian fell back laughing. Nie Huaisang winked at him. “Be honest,” he said. “But be short,” he looked down at his own missive. “All of this needs to fit on the bird.”
Nodding, Jiang Cheng picked up his brush. After a moment, he put ink to paper, writing in quick, sure strokes. He fanned the paper back and forth a few times to dry the ink faster, and folded the note to hand to Huaisang. Huaisang took it with a grin and ran from the room to send the message back.
“What did you write?” Wei Wuxian asked.
“None of your business.”
Two days later Nie Zonghui would bring the messages to Nie Mingjue, who would open Huaisang’s note, only to have a smaller note fall free. He would pick it up with a small frown before reading Huaisang’s note, smiling — blinking, then reading the note again. “If he put nearly have the effort into studying...” he muttered and Zongui would hide a smile. Then, Mingjue would open the smaller missive, nearly dropping the paper in shock, scrambling to catch it. “Sect Leader?” Zonghui would ask, and when Nie Mingjue looked up, he would be beaming.
Now, Nie Mingjue, who had fought, lead, and won a war, lead a sect, and died a slow, agonizing descent into his greatest fears, finds himself once more at 19, newly made Section Leader, and the clearest minded he’s been in years, without the damage caused by cultivating a war and...well. He wasn’t actually sure *how* Meng Yao managed to kill him, just that he knew he had.
Which was another problem. By this point, Huaisang was safely in Cloud Recesses, but Meng Yao was on his way back to Qinghe. It would take him most of a week to return, traveling on horseback as he was, and Nie Mingjue wasn’t sure what reception Meng Yao should receive.
Meng Yao, long before he was renamed by his father, had acted in ways that were counter to the values of the Nie sect. Even if Nie Mingjue were to overlook the crimes he committed as Jin Guangyao, or the atrocities he participated in as a torturer for Wen Ruohan, his crimes began in Qinghe.
Crimes that, as far as Nie Mingjue was aware, had not yet happened. Even before Meng Yao had used the chaos of an attack to kill the captain of his guardNie, Mingjue was never sure how much Meng Yao spoke was the truth — just knew that at one point he was sure Meng Yao had never lied to him, and then was never sure Meng Yao was not lying.
In his previous life, Nie Mingjue turned most often to Lan Xichen for council, particularly wher Meng— Jin Guangyao was concerned. Then, as years passed, Xichen would turn ever more towards Jin Guangyao first, and Nie Mingjue found himself turning to Jiang Wanyin as their wartime sparring turned to tent-side comfort, to comraderie to courtship.
A-Cheng.
For all that Mingjue had more years of experience leading a sect, Wanyin’s experience was a similar enough trial by fire to grant him insight, and an outsider enough to the triumvirate to offer an outsider’s clarity.
Truly, his love possessed an uncanny wisdom hidden behind brusque words and toothless threats.
He wished for Wanyin’s council now. He wished for his presence. It had already been too long since they had last seen each other before Mingjue made his last, fateful visit to Jinlintai. It would likely be several months, if not years, before their paths would cross once more.
And— he missed his lover as a lover. Wanyin was a beautiful man, strong and proud and fierce and so sweet in private. A joy and a challenge.
Getting Huaisang’s letter was bittersweet because his didi had already suffered so much: even the first time, Mingjue had wanted Hauisang’s youth to be as worry free as possible, to have the freedom to be careless in a way Mingjue never had. And sweet, because it meant that Mingjue wasn’t alone in this.
Getting Wanyin’s message was a blessing and a curse. He had already resigned himself to wait, to reach out to the Jiang Sect in support to save Wanyin his own heartbreak, to court him properly from the beginning. To know that his love was here, and yet still so far out of reach...
Huaisang’s letter boiled down to “plan in motion. Do not engage.” Which...
“Didi,” Nie Mingjue muttered. “What are you doing?”
Because, the thing is, Mingjue would *like* to listen to Huaisang. Mingjue was tired, and doing the right thing was an increasingly difficult and murky task....but Mingjue was also a just and righteous man. Certain actions he would take no matter what...and certain actions he would not.
The facts were thus:
Meng Yao had killed him in a way that was both intensely malicious and duplicitous. (Nie Mingjue was unsure as to his motive. What did Meng Yao gain aside from petty revenge? No, the method was revenge. The act...the act was something different).
Meng Yao had not, as of yet, committed any crime, nor was he currently capable of the technique that had been used to kill Mingjue.
Nie Mingjue could not in good conscience kill a man who had committed no crime, nor could he stand by and allow another to fall off the righteous path when it was within his power to prevent. (Was it within his power?)
So, Nie Mingjue could neither punish Meng Yao for crimes he had not yet committed, nor could was he able to relax in Meng Yao’s presence the way he had the first time around.
...Maybe Huaisang had ideas.
[later] “I can’t believe this!” Huaisang glared at the letter from his brother. Jiang Cheng’s own letter sat in his pocket to be perused later. It felt almost hot, the way his focus continually drifted towards the folded paper, but he knew better than to read his lover’s letter in front of Huaisang. Not if he wanted to keep any pretense to dignity.
“What is it?” he prompted when Huaisang fell silent, re-reading furiously.
“He wants to rehabilitate Meng Yao! His own murderer!”
“Meng Yao didn’t come back with the rest of us,” Jiang Cheng offered. “He’s not the man who killed your brother. Not yet, anyway.”
“You didn’t see—” Huaisang cut himself off, looking away and biting his lip. Jiang Cheng shifted, focusing on the letter to let the heat of its presence chase away the chill of the reminder that when his lover had died, Jiang Cheng wasn’t there.
“A tiger can not change his stripes,” Nie Huaisang muttered, and hid his face behind his fan.
[The discussion over what happens to Meng Yao plays out thusly:
NHS: I don’t want to kill Meng Yao, Da-ge! I just don’t want him alive. Anymore.
NMJ: Didi, no.
NHS: Didi, yes!
Ultimately, NMJ pulls the big brother/sect leader card and says they have time to deal with Meng Yao, and since Meng Yao was currently NMJ’s problem, he would deal with it. NHS threw a tantrum that reminded everyone that yes, NHS is related to NMJ by blood, but finally went: “fine! It’s not like the *whole reason* we came back wasn’t to fuck up all of his shit!” and adjusted his plans again.]
When he goes back to his room, Jiang Cheng finds himself alone. He can bet that Wei Wuxian will be off with Lan Wangji (and no, Jiang Cheng doesn’t know why Wei Wuxian hasn’t just moved in with his boyfriend, considering how often he comes skittering into the room just on the wrong side of curfew, mussed and bruised in a very specific way that Jiang Cheng a) wants to know no more about and b)isn’t jealous of, fuck off.), so he has time to read his letter.
Cheng-er,
We never were a pair for letters, you and I, preferring to steal time for each other like a pair of romantic thieves. I regret, now, not making more time to woo and court you properly then — though I fear I already had all you could give — not desire, you showed me your hunger for me readily enough, matched only by my hunger for you — but hours of the day.
I think very fondly of our nights.
This second chance makes me desire to do better, to build you a place in my life from the start, as I hope you build a place for me. We are young, yet, and have time to hope.
I miss you, Wanyin. Cheng-er. Please write to me. A letter is a poor substitute for your fire, but I will cherish even these scraps above silence.
Yours,
A-Jue
Jiang Cheng wasn’t sure how long he was there, re-reading the letter, when Wei Wuxian tumbled in, only to stop when he caught sight of Jiang Cheng.
“Jiang Cheng! You’re pink!” Wei Wuxian crowed, pointing a finger and laughing at the way Jiang Cheng startled. “Who wrote to you to make you blush? What did he say?”
“None of your business,” Jaing Cheng snapped, tucking the letter away.
A-Jue,
Who gave you the right to write such a letter? Who would believe the NIe Sect leader to be so shameless? You can take a lesson from your brother in poetry if you are planning to continue!
Building a space — as if I did not rebuild my piers with a place for you. As if you had not already crawled into my heart to live.
I lost you once, A-Jue. I will not lose you again.
I await your next letter,
Yours, always,
Cheng-er
Jiang Cheng hands the folded paper to Nie Huaisang, face burning. For once, Nie Huaisang doesn’t tease, doesn’t give him a knowing smirk. Instead, his eyes are kind, and he takes the letter with little fanfare, tucking it neatly into his own missive to be sent off at once.
When the next letter comes, Jiang Cheng doesn’t even bother waiting, taking the letter and retreating to the sound of Nie Huaisang’s laughter.
Cheng-er
You want poetry, do you?...
Jiang Cheng’s eyes skip over the page and he gasps aloud, face burning as he looks around to see that no one else is near. To write such things! Shameless! But...oh, how it lights a fire in him, and he’s breathless with his, dizzy with sudden, frustrated want that he cannot satisfy.
In the end, Nie Mingjue was right. The words are a poor substitute, but Jiang Cheng would not trade this letter for anything.
The next morning, Jiang Cheng approaches Wei Wuxian with an idea for a long-distance communication array, one that could be personally powered and used. The reasons he gives are all to do with military strategy, but he needn’t have bothered. The challenge to create something new has Wei Wuxian distracted immediately, and he wanders off to the library mid-sentence.
The next free afternoon they have in Caiyi, Jiang Cheng purchases a wooden box, cleverly built with locking compartments and false bottoms. It is perfectly sized for folded letters.
Time passes. Now that Jiang Cheng has thirteen years of lived experience - and hard years of war and cuthroat sect politics and rebuilding his sect - the lessons aren’t easier, per say, but they have context that he missed the first time. HIs understanding is more in depth, which quickly makes him a favorite of Lan Qiren to call on — even if his actual answer (usually “threaten them with Zidian”) wasn’t the answer he provided in class. Wei Wuxian was also a calmer presence in class - still questioning, still pushing limits, but when Lan Qiren calls on Wei Wuxian to answer his questions, Wei Wuxian’s answers are thoughtful, inventive, but within the bounds of conventionality. Surprisingly, it’s Lan Wangji who suggests solutions that boarder on the heretical — solutions that Jiang Cheng knows come to pass, such as the spirit attraction flags.
It’s enough to make Lan Qiren change colors, and judging by the tiny smirk on LWJ’s face, it’s absolutely deliberate. (The one class that Lan Xichen sits in on is, actually, hilarious, as he seems consistently torn between laughter and exasperation at his brother’s small rebellion).
Nie Huaisang, however, seems to be *genuinely struggling* with the material. So much so that Jiang Cheng takes pity and drags him (and Wangxian) into the library one afternoon to actually study rather than their usual spot by the river where they would refine their plan to keep everyone alive that they actually cared about keeping alive, and killing those who needed killing as efficently as possible. (“That’s a rather blunt way of thinning about this, Jaing Cheng,” WWX said to him. JC had just shrugged. He didn’t see the reason to couch the truth in political double speak when he didn’t have to”)
After an hour or so, Nie Huaisang slumped forward over the table, thumping his forehead against he lacquered wood. “It’s no use. I’m going to have to repeat this year again, *again*”
“I don’t understand it,” Jiang Cheng said. He knew that Huaisang was smart; he figured out Jin Guangyao’s plot, he successfully modified the time travel array — Jiang Cheng was pretty sure he ran Qinghe’s spy rin duing the war, though that had never been confirmed. “I know you know things.”
“I don’t,” he wailed. “I don’t know anything. Don’t ask me.”
“I don’t mean to alarm anyone,” Wei Wuxian said, leaning in and keeping his voice low. “But we have a spy in our midst.”
“Those rumors were never proven,” Huaisang said, sniffling.
“Not you,” Wei Wuxian said, and angled his head in a way that he only thought was subtle towards where Jin Zixuan was sitting, stiff and imperious, with an exasperated Luo Qingyang. “He’s been doing that a lot,” he said.
Jiang Cheng watched him for a long moment, trying to remember the frustration he felt with a young Jin Zixuan who hadn’t yet unlearned the smug superiority of Jinlintai...but all he could see was little Jin Ling, awkward from growing up alone and desperately lonely (except Jin Ling had picked up Jiang Cheng’s bad habit of expressing any emotion as anger, and it seemed Zixuan had chosen...smug silence.)
“Aw, crap,” Jiang Cheng muttered, because as soon as he realized it, he knew what he had to do. Pushing himself up, he stalked over to Jin Zixuan, ignoring the hissed complaints of Wei Wuxian, and stared down at him, arms crossed.
“What do you want?” Jin Zixuan sneered. Behind him, Luo Qingyang rolled her eyes, and Jiang Cheng huffed.
“Cute. But you got nothing on my mother.” Jin Zixuan blinked, surprise loosening some of the stiffness in his posture. Rolling his eyes, Jiang Cheng snapped. “Look. You’re not subtle. We see you. So do you want to sit with us or not?” He looked between them. “Both of you.”
Jin Zixuan nodded, then blinked as if surprised at himself. Luo Qingyang stood to salute, but Jiang Cheng waved it off.
“Great, come on,” Jiang Cheng said, and turned around, not waiting to see if they. He sat back in his seat, shifting books to make room. He didn’t really want to sit next to Zixuan, but with Nie Huaisang sprawled over his books and Wei Wuxian practically in Lan Wangji’s lap, it was the only safe place for them.
Nie Huaisang sat back, looking at Jiang Cheng over his fan. “What?” He snapped.
“Softie,” Nie Huaisang said softly, and Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes.
“He needs to learn, and Luo Qingyang is the only one at Jinlintai right now that I trust,” he muttered.
Wei Ying squinted at Jiang Cheng, as if trying to figure something out, but when Jin Zixuan and Luo Qingyang appeared, he blinked at her, surprised, and perked up in recognition. “Mianmian!”
Which, of course, was the wrong thing to say. Jin Zixuan puffed up, and Lan Wangji hissed a pained Wei Ying, and Nie Huaisang was being no help. So, Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes again and translated.
“No offense meant, Lady Luo,” he said. “My brother’s memory for names is notoriously bad, but he means no disrespect by his over familiarity.”
Thankfully Luo Qingyang smiled. “No offence taken, Young Master Jiang. If your offer is genuine, and we are to be friends, then you may call me Mianmian.”
Jaing Cheng smiled. “Then please join us, Mianmian. I am Jiang Cheng.”
That caused everyone to look at him, and he glared. “What?! I have manners.”
“Jiang-xiong is quite a gentleman,” Nie Huaisang agreed, mildly, and Jiang Cheng narrowed his eyes. That tone always meant mischief.
“And you’re a pain in my—”
“No excess talking in the library,” Lan Wangji interrupted, staring placidly back when Nie Huaisang and Jiang Cheng both glared at him. Well, Jiang Cheng glared. Nie Huaisang pouted.
After a moment, Jin Zixuan grunted softly, as if someone had elbowed him in his ribs. He cleared his throat. “What are you working on?” he asked woodenly, as if speaking from a poorly rehearsed script. Out of the corner of his eye, Jiang Cheng saw Mianmian nod encouragingly.
“We’re trying to help Nie-xiong pass the next exam,” Wei Wuxian offered.
“Who’s we?” Jiang Cheng muttered, flipping his book open once more. “Unless sitting in Lan Wangji’s lap is a new study method.”
Nie Huaisang giggled behind his fan as Wei Wuxian squawked, reaching out to smack Jiang Cheng’s shoulder, only to be hauled back with apparent ease by Lan Wangji.
Lan Wangji who, arms wrapped securely around Wei Wuxian, stared square at Jiang Cheng and said. “It is an advanced technique.”
“Lan Zhan!” Wei Wuxian protested, going pink in the face, and Nie Huaisang’s giggles turned to outright laughter.
Jin Zixuan leaned into to Jiang Cheng. “Is it always like this?”
Jiang Cheng shrugged. “Pretty much. Those two decided shame was for other people a long time ago.”
“I...have questions,” Jin Zixuan said.
Jiang Cheng turned and looked at him. “You know, so do I. But mine might involve yelling, so the library probably isn’t the best place for them.”
(It takes a while to build up to the conversation, a few weeks until Jin Zixuan is comfortable enough to sit with them without Mianmian as a social buffer. He’s still insufferable, but more and more Jiang Cheng sees the kid he remembers from childhood visits, and even shades of the proud yet just man that he almost had a chance to fully grow into being.)
Meanwhile, something is shifting between Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji, the simmering tension between them boiling over, and Jiang Cheng is both sure that they’ve actively started fucking and and sure that he wants *absolutely nothing to do with it.* He does not want to hear it, see it, smell it — which makes it difficult when Wei Wuxian proves that he has no filter, and Lan Wangji proves he has no shame.
What had actually happened was Lan Xichen had approached Lan Wangji and said that he was glad LWJ was making friends, and hey, haven’t you been spending an awful lot of time with that Wei Wuxian kid? Don’t worry, little brother, I’ll keep Uncle off your back.” LWJ was unsure if Xichen knew that LWJ and WWX were together, but was unsure how to clarify. Every time he tried, LXC seemed to double down on his interpretation of their relationship as being the same as his with NMJ (and while NMJ thought LXC was pretty, he was more interested in Xichen’s swordplay than his *swordplay*) - and LWJ decided that the best course of action was to kiss Wei Wuxian as much as possible as often as possible.
For the record, Lan Xichen was well aware of his little brother’s inclinations, and was quite enjoying his own spot of harmless rebellion by encouraging Wangji’s shamelessness. Besides, Wei Wuxian was a good match for Wangji, and it was a relief to see Wangji smiling. Perhaps it was time to begin drafting some marital paperwork. It wouldn’t do to be caught unprepared, afterall.
He hoped they married in the spring. He always loved a spring wedding...
Somewhere, Jiang Cheng felt a chill.
NEXT TIME - THE RETURN OF THE MAIN PLOT
43 notes · View notes
howlingday · 3 years
Text
Jaune: Once again, my team and I gave ol' Specialist Schnee the slip. I was honestly surprised by how well she took it.
I finally got my hands on the top secret police file I've been trying to get all my life and avenge my family by regaining our most valued treasure.
It all began when I was just a kid, bouncing on my dad's knee. See, I come from a long line of legendary warriors who kept their ancient secrets hidden in the family book, The Arcus Atlas. I read it to become especially strong, fighting monsters and bad guys. After all, there's no honor, no challenge, and just no fun picking on the weak. You beat down a tyrannical dictator, and people know you're a hero.
Unfortunately, on the night I was to inherit the book, five visitors came to our door. My father fought to protect us, but the gang of villains known as Children of Grimm ransacked our home until they found... The Arcus Atlas!
Our family's manual of heroic deeds and greatness fell into their filthy hands! They tore the book into five pieces and split it up, each villain splitting to the farthest corners of the world to commit dastardly crimes.
Alone without my sisters or my mother, I was dumped at the nearest orphanage. There, I met two people who would become my lifelong friends and members of my crew. Oscar, tech genius and oldest soul I've ever met in a young person. Sun, part-time thief, and full-time loudmouth. Together, we vowed to track down the Children of Grimm, avenge my father, and take back the Arcus Atlas!
It was going to be the toughest mission of my life. I would either become a legendary warrior like my family before me, or fail and allow my family name to bite the dust.
Watts: How delightful! We have a guest. The only problem is... I HATE UNEXPECTED GUESTS!
Jaune: Listen, Watts; you kill my father and take what's mine, you should more than expect company.
Watts: Oh, I'm so sorry! How sloppy of us to not finish the job. Obviously, we should have snuffed you and your sisters out as well. So without further ado, allow me to make amends by, let's say... TRIPPING EVERY TRAP IN MY CHAMBERS AND SQUASH YOU LIKE THE INSIGNIFICANT GNAT THAT YOU ARE!
Jaune: Bring it on!
Watts: Damn it all! You've beaten me! Well, gloat all you want, Jaune Arc. You're no match for Hazel, my cohort in Mistral! You'll see... Haven Academy will be so guarded, not even an army could charge in without losing every man!
Jaune: Details in Watts' section of The Arcus Atlas held secrets of my Mistralian ancestor, Daisuke Arc and his Shinobi Slayer skill, which helped him fight off many a crafty ninja as they attacked the feudal lords he protected.
Getting out proved to be especially tricky with the unexpected arrival of Specialist Schnee. She could catch me, so she settled for Watts instead.
Hazel: Hmph. My men have been warning me of their experiences with a supposed knight in shining armor, breaking bones and absorbing hits, and this is it? You're the thorn I've had in my side all week? A child playing pretend with a garbage can lid? ...Hm. That garbage can lid looks familiar.
Jaune: Maybe my father broke your nose a few times so you wouldn't forget?
Hazel: Your father? Ah, I see. You're an Arc, and one of the more foolhardy ones, as well. Perhaps if you were sensible like your sisters, you would have abandoned your childish fantasy of being a hero and become something more valuable. After all, these pages are worthless, childish drivel.
Jaune: I guess you wouldn't mind me taking them, would you?
Hazel: After you destroyed my years long operations, decimated my supplies, and grievously injured my men? Yes, I would mind. Prepare yourself, child.
Hazel: Impossible! Me, a hardened veteran with decades of experience, bested by you, some child trying to play pretend. Take your pages, but know it won't serve you any purpose. As we speak, Tyrian is mobilizing his forces against Menagerie's rebels, and no "heroes" could ever dream of stopping him.
Jaune: Hazel's section of the Arcus Atlas contained information on my gunslinging, sunset-riding hero, Patch Willy Arc. His specialty was horseback cavalry and iron-horseback cavalry, fighting styles he perfected in the lawless lands of Wild Vacuo.
Getting out, once again, was harder than getting in, since Specialist Schnee didn't until she had me in cuffs. She eventually gave up and went for the next best thing, Hazel, and dragging him off to jail.
Tyrian: (Shudders) My tail is all tingly! Only two things could make it do that; and since I don't hear screaming, it's not my goddess. Which means, an Arc!
Jaune: Yeah, well, you give me the creeps, too, pal! Arming out a hate-war for unwilling and peaceful faunus isn't exactly a fun thing to sit back and watch!
Tyrian: (Chuckling) You say so much, and mean even more! It's almost enough to make me... Kill him, but only enough so I can deal the finishing blow myself.
Jaune: (Fights through White Fang, Tyrian leaps away) Get back here! You can't run forever!
Tyrian: I suppose you're right. Hmm... Ah, I got it! We'll play a game! You swing at me, and I dodge, all in one motion, and then I swing while you dodge!
Jaune: Uh-huh... And what's the catch?
Tyrian: No catch! Although, you have your hands full, while I... No, I think you'll figure it out yourself.
Jaune: I get it. You'll be using up to four limbs, while I can only use two.
Tyrian: Ooh! You are smart! I'm so glad you caught on so quickly, unlike your father.
Jaune: Well, I'm about to show you how unlike my father I am.
Tyrian: (Giggling) Oh, that was so much fun! No one has beaten me so well at my game since my goddess! Ha... Unfortunately, your game ends here. Cinder Fall is in Vale and she doesn't play games like us. You try and, well, even scorpions have predators, don't they?
Jaune: Well, if she's anything like the rest of you, I think I'll manage.
Jaune: The section of the Arcus Atlas that Tyrian had told me the secrets of Jarl Svendin Arc, my viking ancestor. His notorious berserker mode helped him beat impossible odds to protect his people.
Right on schedule, Winter showed up just as I was leaving. Apparently, trying to start a coup with the White Fang isn't something people just look the other way for, earning Tyrian a life sentence behind bars.
Cinder: I see you carry the shield of the legendary Arc warrior family. Let me guess; you're here for revenge, and take back the Arcus Atlas.
Jaune: Originally, yeah, that's all I wanted, but now I'm going to shut down your entire vigilante/criminal empire and bring peace back to Vale.
Cinder: Why should you care if I wipe out a few criminals? I'm doing my duty as a hero, just like you.
Jaune: Sorry, but you're only half right. I am a hero, from a long line of legendary heroes, and I pick up this sword and point it away from the innocent to protect them. You? You're some abused and neglected orphan who turned into a homicidal vigilante monster!
Cinder: You despicable wretch! I will punish you for your disrespect! ...But I will honor your heroic ancestry by slaying you with the power of my newly mastered technique: Dance of the Fall Maiden!
Cinder: You... really are a hero... aren't you? Where were you... when I needed... one?
Oscar: Jaune! OZPN just finished it's analysis about those crates of black goop we found, and it turns out there's only one place in the world you can find the wood those crates are made of- Atlas. The last of the Children of Grimm should be there!
Jaune: Cinder's part of the Arcus Atlas gave us insight on the brilliant designs of Johann Arc IV, genius inventor and world-class entrepreneur. He had an illness that prevented him from fighting like my other ancestors, but he still saved hundreds of lives with his medical breakthroughs and tactical mind on the battlefield. Working with Sun, I'm sure he and I can make a few modifications to our weapons, thanks to these designs.
Frustrated she didn't catch me on my way down, Winter tossed Cinder in jail, ending the dark crusade of Vale's worst hero.
Jaune: While trying to find details on the Children of Grimm's final member, I began to notice something weird. In every picture of my ancestors in the Arcus Atlas, there's a shadow of a woman in the background. Even weirder, these shadows look almost identical to what police records have of this mysterious "Salem". Is there a coincidence, or is there something I'm missing?
To be continued in...
Jaune Arc in:
THE BLACK HEART OF HATE
72 notes · View notes
just-jammin · 3 years
Text
Muddled Neutrality
Word Count: 1246
Summary: The delivery of a single letter might give way to someone’s sanity loss, apparently.
(Or: The author is still a dumbass weirdo because they want an excuse for her persona to know whatever the fuck is happening in the side of treason. Hooray, I guess. /s)
To the Angst Side:
Greetings!
I do have some new important (I think) info to report to you guys. It’s about what I like to call the Neutral Factions. Yes, I am calling them that, unless you have a better name for them.
It turns out that there has been another Neutral Faction other than Team Switzerland (is it even called that anymore?). The group’s quite small, seemingly new to the war. When I first saw them, they were talking about how they’re going to… commit war crimes, I suppose?
To be honest here, I think that they have no idea what they’re talking about. I mean, war crimes? Really??? War crimes are pretty much bad as all hell! Unless they mean, like, disrupting the flow of the war/battle and mess everything up so that they can win, so it depends on how they describe war crimes, really.
Ah, shit, I might’ve rambled on paper…
Anyway, that’s all I can report to you for now! If you want me to do something about the War Criminals (again, I am calling them that for now), just hit me up with a letter!
Ok, byeeeee!!!
— Jam
>> —^— <<
As Jam zoomed across the setting sky, she started thoroughly proofreading the letter that she wrote a while ago. It was quite a journey now when they traveled to the Angst Side Headquarters (or whatever they called the usual meetup place, she doesn’t know), since the pond where she settled was located a bit deeper into the woods.
They noticed some muffled laughter from below the trees. When she looked down, three people could be barely seen walking around the forest, seemingly laughing and talking to each other.
Ah, shite, she unfortunately realized. They’re wanderers…
Shaking off the thought that they have to confront those War Criminals someday, she folded up the letter and sped up to finally arrive at the Angst Side’s place. They landed in the driveway, soon marching her way towards the mailbox.
Then she felt a quick, strong breeze about halfway there.
That left her in confusion, so she turned around. She saw a small bluish blur in the sky, with… brown bits in the sky?
A few moments passed by as the blur became smaller, then…
Wait, was that Ave?
To be fair, she hasn’t seen any of the other Angst members (other than Adri) since she left. But for some reason, the thought felt… strange. Suspicious, even. Maybe it’s just a gut feeling, but who knows? Gut feelings are usually right, after all.
Wait, most of the members have a blue color palette.
Oh well.
So she slammed the letter into the mailbox and took off towards the trees.
>> —^— <<
Jam kept an eye on Ave from below the canopy, trailing behind them if she was following them on the same level (like a dumbass).
Then she heard the twang of a string nearby, and an angry yelp from her comrade. As she’s losing track of them, she got hit by… is it a rock or a pebble?
She wasn’t expecting more after that…
…except there was much, much more.
“Hoooooly shit, what the he— aCK FUCK!”
She was hit by a barrage of weapons and ammunition, be it stones, bullets, fire, arrows, just anything that can be thrown towards a person.
Jam wasn’t even able to look up while desperately dodging… whatever this is. Her speed increased as she zigzagged across the trees, hoping to dodge and get out of this chaotic shoot-out.
Thankfully, she did, and she looked up to see that Ave wasn’t doing so well either, being a clear target of all of this.
Man, she thought to herself, I sure hope that this isn’t a regular thing from now on.
>> —^— <<
Finally, Jam noticed that Ave was starting to slow down.
What’s weird was that her comrade was nearing a building in what was known as Team Switzerland territory.
Huh? Why would they go ther—
They crashed head-first into one of the windows.
WHAT THE SHIT?!?!?
Bewildered by the… sudden decision they made, she stared with wide eyes at least for more than a few moments. Then she remembered what she’s here for, so she took a look inside and quickly got in to hide behind a counter.
And then, when she thought the coast was clear, she got her pen and paper out, took a peek, and listened carefully.
>> —^— <<
A few minutes of conversation between Ave and Rowan, the goat person, was just enough to reveal her comrade is actually a traitor.
That’s great info! But not so great to take in.
Jam, now clutching her black pen tightly, is seething with rage. Not the one where you lose control and release it almost immediately, but the one where you can push it down inside yourself. It’s more powerful, yet easier to control. At least, according to her.
She wants to calm down, so she started looking around, at things other than the main conversation happening in the room.
The room all of them were in was slightly disorganized, but still clean enough for whatever this room is used for. Judging by the large vats of glowing liquid and scattered vials of varying emptiness or fullness, it’s most likely used for scientific purposes.
She put her focus back on the main action.
“So, what’s the plan? Are we going to destroy Fluff?”
Huh, so their goals haven’t changed. Interesting… right, back to the convo.
“You see, my aim is to unite both sides… under me, of course.”
Hold on… what? Shit, I need a minute—
Shifting her focus onto the vials on the counter she’s hiding in, she read the label on one of them. It’s labeled… ‘Bobcat’?
That’s… strange.
Jam read the label on another vial.
And another.
‘Wild Dog’.
‘Red Deer’.
Then she saw the vat of glowing liquid.
‘WARNING: MUTAGEN’
She did not like where this is going.
And, as if this was gonna get worse, she saw the goat person walking towards her hiding spot. She immediately ducked back in, waiting for a while before Rowan goes away.
She quickly wrote as much as she can remember before she heard some growls and hissing. Jam looked around to find where those sounds came from, only to see a dog-like humanoid with… long dark hair? It was defending another humanoid beastly thing, this time it’s more cat-like, and with red hair.
Both were wearing clothes, and somewhat… aware of the danger in here.
Peeking a bit more out of the counter, she saw Ave’s horrified expression right in front of those creatures. Or, at least, mostly horrified. She can’t seem to pinpoint their exact emotions at the moment, but damn, they’re scared as fuck right now.
She looked past the other side of the counter, seeing Rowan adding the contents of the vial to a test tube filled with the bright orange mutagen.
As soon as they brought out the syringe, she booked it.
Jumping out of the window she entered in, she fired herself up into the sky with all the anger and fear that she could muster at the moment. All she can think about is how everyone’s in danger. Both the Angst and the Fluff Side can’t stand a fucking chance of turning into these… these monsters. And that’s a big motherfucking problem right now.
Yet something broke into her thoughts and worries.
A loud, fear-filled, bloodcurdling shriek.
10 notes · View notes