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audhd-nightwing · 7 months

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okay so like

bruce’s parents died when he was eight, and from then on he was raised by alfred, correct? and alfred had been taking care of bruce since he was four

what i’m getting at here is: bruce would absolutely have a slight british accent that he unconsciously picked up from alfred

i mean like aside from classmates and teachers, alfred is who bruce spent the most time with

i just think we should acknowledge bruce would have a slight british accent is all. like it seriously doesn’t change anything but i want it to be talked about. please

of course bruce can do a bunch of different voices and accents, but this is when he’s just speaking normally (mostly among the batfam)

he also definitely uses the british word for things (lift instead of elevator, rubbish instead of trash, etc.)

no one would really question it because he’s rich and fancy, and it’s a sort of posh accent

but i want the batkids to joke about it (not when alfred is around tho)

#dc comics #dcu #dc #random batfam shit #batfam #batfamily #the batfam #the batfamily #batman #batman comics #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #alfred the butler #brucie wayne #thomas wayne #martha wayne #agent a

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xxxcxcxx · 10 months

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Their relationship is so underrated ‼️

#batfam #jason todd #batfamily #alfred pennyworth #alfred the butler #dc universe #dc #redhood #robin dc #ilysm

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confused-wanderer · 7 months

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Alfred is badass and has unuasual skills even for a batfam member.

Inspired by pandaredd’s skit where Alfred says “Bond wishes he was me”

The man is the caretaker of the bat family, he has raised every damn member, and has seen more than his fair share of wars, doomsdays and worse. He is a butler. And god knows what else in the spare time. All I imagine is that if a teenage Bruce looks up at Alfred and whispers he wants to train, Alfred might be the one who gives him contacts.

Alfred:

Bruce:

Alfred: .. wait here master Bruce, I know you won’t even listen to what I’m saying so I will let you learn the arts. Only under one condition though, I choose your trainers

Teenage Bruce: Alfred, whom would you-

Alfred *already on the phone* : Hello there Lee

Teenage Bruce *wide eyes* *mouthing* : Rock Lee??

Alfred *scoffing* : what world do you think we live in! Be more realistic Master Bruce.

Bruce: .. so who is it?

Alfred: Bruce Lee.

The scariest thing about the butler is that he will take you apart in less than a blow, and he doesn’t even need weapons. He will however use them just for fun.He can still hear if Bruce or any of the batfamily sneaks around, he’s been the only one who somehow knew Cass was in the room and offered her snacks while she was hanging upside down from the ceiling in the pitch black and overall has better instincts to locate any of them in the mansion than a GPS tracking system.

When supervillains, nosy reporters or even crooks try to break into the Manor, the fact that no one installed a security system should’ve really been a warning point that the Waynes had other.. deadlier security.

By the time Jason comes home he sees Alfred cleaning up the carpet, but doesn’t miss the wrinkled edge of the sleeve. It is only then when he looks to the other room and the criminals are all sitting in time out, each a truly remarkable shade of blue, black purple and green he’s never seen in real life. And none of them were even bleeding.

Alfred also has insanely fast reflexes. And to everyone surprise, he is an bloody good shot. Green arrow was once testing out a new arrow and it accidentally whizzed past the target and almost hit the cat when out of nowhere Alfred caught it and snapped it with one hand. And then proceeded to borrow a pistol and shoot the target while walking to the other side of the room, not even sparing a glance at the bullseye he had hit. All the while holding a tray of glass bottles that hadn’t moved a single inch.

He’s given advice to Jason on how to make explosives out of everything and nothing, taught Dick how to cut a tree in half with one kick, showed Stephanie how to always win Russian Roulette, guided Damian on how to break bones without ever leaving traces, taught Tim how to mimic someone’s voice and be scarily accurate, and so much more. Once on live television the world saw Alfred eat three cookies and refuse to pass them to Bruce Wayne before saying “They’ve been poisoned” and throwing them away. A few people swear they heard him mouth “bloody amateurs” afterwards and he insisted he was fine, stating that he was already “used to it.”

Whatever the fuck that meant.

And that is why the bat cave is a safer option for batman’s enemies than the mansion. Because if you were caught by the butler, just know that god has already forsaken you.

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batshitferalquotes · 2 years

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Tim: I think Alfred's mad at you.

Jason: What makes you say that?

Tim: Because he’s cleaning up the mess you made and asked me to deliver this to you.

Jason, reading the note: "Young Master Jason, I hope this note finds you before I do."

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skydrag0n · 4 months

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Faerie AU :D

*Tim outside the manor with folder of blackmail*

Alfred: “Hello young man do you need something?” *pauses and squints his eyes* “You again.”

Fae!Tim: *giant grin* “Me! Been awhile hasn’t it?”

Fae!Alfred: “132 years as I recall, you don’t usually present so young… Why are you here?” *cautious suspicion*

Fae!Tim: *sigh* “Usually I’m not trying to tell a suicidal father that just lost his son to stop hitting petty criminals too hard and to get therapy. I figured appearing younger would guilt him into listening to me” *shrugs*

Fae!Alfred: *more suspicion* “And when did you start caring about humans?”

Fae!Tim: *another shrug* “Frustration mostly, I have to deal with half dead people on the street”

Fae!Alfred: “Why are you of all creatures healing the injured? Last I recall you were off just running around and causing havoc, you have not been known to have a change of heart in the past”

Fae!Tim: *pouts* “Oh you wound me Alfred, that is the name you’re going by these days correct?

Fae!Alfred: *eyebrow raise* “Correct”

Fae!Tim: “Back to your question, it’s mostly that death has a lot on her plate at the moment, no need to give her more” *waves hand* “She’s dealing with? Jason I think his name was? Waking up in his grave unexpectedly, one of the Al Ghuls took him in. I’m sure he’ll come back in a couple years for revenge, you know I would usually just kill a troublesome human but if Jason comes back to that it’ll cause even more problems for me”

Fae!Alfred: “…Master Jason is back from the dead?”

Fae!Tim: “That is indeed what I said”

Fae!Alfred: *sigh* “You are going to attempt to convince Master Bruce to get therapy because it will cause more issues for you in the future if you kill him?”

Fae!Tim: *grin* “Mhm! and you’re gonna help me!”

Fae!Alfred: “Oh dear gods”

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overworkedblorbobattle · 7 months

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Overworked Blorbo Battle Round 4 Poll: 6

#tournament polls #susan taxpayer #punkitt #batman #batman series #batman dc #dc batman #susan taxpayer punkitt #alfred pennyworth #alfred the butler #batman alfred #alfred batman #round 4 #tournament poll

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trapezequeen · 1 year

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“No, No, No, No, No, No, No, *beatboxing* NO!”

Does anyone love this scene from The Lego Batman Movie as much as I do?

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turtledoesart · 1 year

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So batboys and their father, but they are SAME AGE

Everyone wants Bruce's attention, chaos ensues (Alfred def gonna save the day with his cookies)

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sunnycanwrite · 7 months

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Reasons Batfamily members have missed patrol recently:

Tim spilled a can of zesti cola on his suit and couldn't get it off. He tried really hard.

Alfred the cat got into the batcave. He just looked so cute napping on top of Steph suit that she helped on comms (painted Barbaras nails)

Cass has been very busy with ballet rehearsals, and has needed the extra rest. She's bed. Trying to do extra patrols on the weekend, but doesn't always get to it.

The batmobile ended up in the harbor, multiple people (they know who they are) were not allowed to patrol for a while.

Dick, actually went in patrol than proceeded to spend the entire time teaching a gymnastics class after the teacher got arrested.

Bruce over worked him self.

Duke ended up getting assigned an 5 essays in one week, and Alfred, decided to helo hun complete them before he'd be allowed to patrol again.

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vivianthepigeon · 6 months

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Batdad and Cass hc

Bruce learned how to do hair so that he could do Casses ❤️

Alfred probably taught him

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death-notex · 1 year

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Whenever life gets me down, Batman is always there to cheer me up:

#the batman #batman #Robin #batman and robin #dick grayson #sad goes away when BATMAN APPEARS #batfam #batdad #batman is a good dad #batman fluff #batman alfred #alfred the butler #batman art

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captainpirateface · 3 months

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Alfred Pennyworth is a BEAST!!!

#alfred pennyworth #alfred batman's butler #alfred the butler #Batman #Bruce Wayne #captainpirateface #bipolardepression #chemicalimbalance #dc comics #wtf #captainpiratefacelovesyou #sighthsandsoundsofinstagram #sights and sounds of tumblr

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vixfern · 10 months

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If Alfred had powers, I would assume they’d be one of two things: either some kind of super speed or teleportation or something, just to make him a great butler and make it easier for him. Or two, some kind of incredibly overpowered thing where he could literally destroy Superman with a flick of his finger. But he just doesn’t because. Why. Why would he? What does he have again Superman? He also doesn’t fight Bruce’s villains because Bruce is stubborn and won’t let him.

#dc #Batman #Alfred #alfred the butler #Bruce Wayne #batfam #batfamily

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comicbookbrain · 1 year

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Batman #687 - Ed Benes Art

#batman #Alfred the butler

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lurking-lilibeth · 1 year

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Tara's college friend Tybalt Capp comes for a visit and is appaled by Erik greeting him shirtless.

Tybalt: Put some closes on, you shameless gold digger! Tara, darling, I'm so sorry you have to put up with that.

Tara: *eyes roll back so hard she can see her hair line*

#ts2 #ts2 gameplay #uberhood #belladonna cove #family: debateau #erik debateau #tybalt capp #tara debateau #alfred the butler #week 4.1

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grimbunnies · 2 years

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Albert: “So, you’ve spent more time in this fortress than me... What do you think of my uncle?”

Alfred the Butler: “Apologies, Master Albert, but I do not believe in speaking candidly about my employer.”

Albert: “Right...”

Albert: I need to go out and meet other sims. I can’t keep hanging around this place playing pool with and chatting with the butler, let alone my uncle and aunt.

#albert legrand #alfred the butler #alfons legrand #sophie legrand #rodeburg to europa hood #rodeburg to europa round 1 #sims 2 #legrand household

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