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#All the British people in the audience are probably gasping in shock
ashleybenlove · 2 years
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Love that swipe at English tea. HAHAHAHAHAHA.
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cauliflowercounty · 4 years
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Meet Me in the Middle Pt. II (Fred Weasley x fem! Reader)
House:  Ilvermorny, You Choose
Blood Status:  You Choose
Warning: Mentions of alcohol use
Read Part I Here!
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Fred blinks his eyes open to see a bland white wall come slowly into focus. He seems to be lying down in a bed, covered in a white sheet and his limbs feel heavy as lead. As he regains his consciousness, he hears a beeping coming from his side and a blistering pain erupts in his head, making him groan.
“He’s awake!” he hears his little sister gasp. Footsteps on the linoleum rush out of the room and he hears Ginny calling to the rest of his family.  “It’s Fred!”
All at once, he sees a whole bunch of red-headed people crowd around his hospital bed.
“Where am I?” he murmurs, his voice weak and hoarse from not speaking.
“Muggle hospital,” he hears George murmur.  “The doctor is a muggle. You were transferred here after you stabilized.”
“Oh, my boy!” Molly Weasley gasps, taking his right hand in hers, her eyes brimming with tears, thankful that her family has made it through the war.
The doctor comes in moments later to talk to Fred, but everything seems to flash by and all Fred can think about is what happened. He was laughing as Pius Thicknesse got turned into a sea urchin by Percy and then everything stops there. The doctor mentions something about physical therapy and then leaves to let Fred talk with his family.
“Did we win?” Fred asks and everyone nods. “How long was I out?”
“A month and a half,” Percy says. “We thought you’d never come back.”
“I couldn't go out like that,” Fred smiles. “Fred Weasley? Going quietly like that? Never?”
The family laughs a little around him, realizing Fred and his jokes are here to stay. With that, Fred leans his head back and closes his eyes. He’s alive. He made it through the war, but now his mind is turning to you.
Fred struggles as he uses the metal bars beside him to walk. He’s been in physical therapy for so long. He’s gotten a lot of his mobility back, but not his muscle mass. He’s improving daily, but he’s not doing well enough. he’s not well enough for his plan. His goal is to get back to where he’s walking and independent again. He’ll send you a letter telling you he’s alive and he’s coming to meet you in New York City and that he hopes you’ll meet him there.
He still can’t walk, though, but Fred’s determined to get strong enough to reach you again.  He doesn’t want you to see him like this.
After months of frustration, falls, and feeling inadequate and hopeless, Fred can walk again. he still needs a cane if he’s tired or feeling weak, but he’s made fast progress. Finally, after a long drawn out process, he sends you a letter when he feels ready.  
Dear y/n,
I’m sorry for not writing for so long. The war changed everything and I want to apologize. I was in the hospital for a long while. I got injured at the Battle of Hogwarts. I’m doing well now, though. I want to come meet you in the U.S. I know it's been a long time, but you’ve been one of the only things I can think about now. You were one of my best friends before the war and I don’t want that to be the end of it.
If you’d like to meet me, I’ll be in New York City on July 1st. If you want to meet me, send me a sign. Anything. Please, y/n.
Your Freddie
As he sends the letter off, he’s hoping you’ll get it and that you’ll want to see him as much as he wants to see you. He hopes that he’s still special to you. He hopes you feel the same way.
A few days later of Fred not sleeping, hoping for a response, George walks up to him and hands him the smallest envelope he’s seen and leaves Fred alone, knowing this is from you.
Hands shaking, Fred undoes the wax seal on it with a pop. He unfolds the paper and his heart leaps in his chest as he reads the handwriting he’s learned to recognize.
July 1st, 6:30pm @ 30 Rockefeller Center outside Radio City Music Hall.
~
Showing the ministry man his identification, Fred, cane and bag in hand, steps into a room with an old dictionary in it. It’s one of the Ministry regulated portkeys to New York. As he grabs on, the world swirls around him. It spins and twists until he hands in a room where he is ushered away by a MACUSA worker. He checks his bag just outside the door. The witch looking at his bags gives him the all-clear and Fred sets off to the information outside customs.
“Excuse me,” he says to the wizard behind the counter.  “What time is it?”
“5:55,” the wizard responds, looking up at a clock on the wall beside him.
“and how do I get to Rockefeller Center?” Fred asks. The wizard gets up out of his char and rushed over to a filing cabinet and pulls out a map and hands it to Fred in the opening in the glass that stands between him and Fred. The information wizard gestures for Fred to go away so he can serve a witch who’s carrying two crying babies looking for currency exchange.  
Taking out the map, Fred steps outside and joins the throng of people moving through the NYC sidewalks. When Fred gets to Radio City, it’s 6:36 and he cruses himself for not being right on time. From his jacket pocket, he takes out the photo you sent him all those years ago. He looks down and watches as you pet the niffler, that same twinkle in your eyes that he’s grown to love. He spins around, trying to pick you out, but suddenly he notices a woman standing on the street corner, her hands in her pockets. She looks around and he realizes it’s you. 
You’ve changed your hair and you’ve gotten older since that care fo magical creatures picture was taken. Your eyes are the same, but they’re ever so slightly duller, the wear and tear of the war presenting itself.  In that moment, Fred is so thankful the collapse didn’t take his life.  Not only would he not be able to be with his family ever again, but he would have never met you in person and finally hear your voice. 
Fred walks slowly toward you, not wanting to shock you, but he’s excited and nervous, which he fears might make him move suddenly.
“Excuse me?” he says as he comes to stand by you.  “Y/n?  Is that you?”
You turn to your right as soon as you hear your name said with a British accent. You look up and see Fred Weasley, the tall ginger boy you’ve been pen pals with since you were sixteen. The one who’s letters you always looked for in the mail, the one who sent you bizarre British candies and foods for you to try, the one you’ve shared your hopes, dreams, and secrets with
“Freddie!” you smile with a gasp, wrapping your arms up around him for a hug. Fred is surprised at your frowardness, but it’s not unwelcome. He’s waited for this moment for years. “I can’t believe it!”
“Me neither,” Fred says, still in shock a bit.  “I’ve waited for this moment for so long you have no idea, y/n.”
You giggle and it’s music to Fred’s ears.  “You act like I think you’re chopped liver. Of course, I’ve waited for this, too!” 
A blush coats Fred’s cheeks. You’ve wanted this, too.  
“You’re probably wondering why I wanted you here at this time?” you say and Fred nods in response.  “Well, I’ve got a pair of tickets to a concert that’s happening inside. Would you like to accompany me and then we can get some food after?”
Fred’s heart is going a mile a minute as he accepts. This is everything he ever could have anted from meeting you for the first time. You take Fred’s hand gently and pull him to the box office to give the man your tickets.
Inside, you both sit next to each other as the music plays. In the darkness, you intertwine your fingers with Fred’s. You notice he tenses as you do so.
“Are you okay, Freddie?” you ask. Fred shakes his head, loving the way his name falls off your lips.
“I just wasn’t anticipating it...,” Fred whispers.  “I’m not uncomfortable... I just have been dreaming of this for more than I’d care to admit.”
The light from the stage shines in such a way that Fred can tell you’re smiling at him.  
“I’ve been dreaming of this, too,” you share as you rest your head on his shoulder ever so gently. Fred’s stomach is filled with tingly sensations as you do. His heart is dancing in his chest and he is only barely keeping his glee under control as to not disrupt the other audience members.
For the rest of the show, all Fred can think about is you. All of your letters are running through his mind and what it’s taken to get here to this moment and he couldn’t possibly be happier.
Later, you take him to Joe’s Pizza on Carmine street for real New York-style pizza. There’s not a moment when you’re both not smiling at each other. By the end of the night after a few drinks, Fred finally plucks up the courage he’s wanted to have all this time. He kisses you. On the mouth in front of everyone at the bar. You hear their whistles and cheering, but all you can really register are Fred Weasley’s lips on yours and the his arms wrapped around your body, not wanting to let you go over again.
Months later, you’re both in the bedroom of your apartment in London, the sun shines through the window as you snuggle into Fred’s chest.
“Morning, my love,” Fred yawns, raising his arms up to stretch.
“Few more minutes, Freddie... It’s too early,” you mumble as you roll over on top of him.
“Come on, y/n. The sun is already shining, and we have to open the shop. You can do it. Get up, love” Fred encourages, giving you a few nudges.  “At least let me get up?”
“No!” you reply, hugging him tighter.  “You’re staying with me. I’m not letting go!”
“Alright,” Fred says, yielding to your wishes.  “A few more minutes. Georgie can’t blame us for being a few minutes late when he hears that we’re engaged now.”
“Mmhmm,” you reply.  “Your mother is going to have a field day when we tell her. She’s been wanting to plan another wedding for so long.”
“Should we owl her or tell her in person?” Fred asks, considering owling her might be better in order to avoid his mother clobbering him with questions.
‘That’s a problem for later, Freddie. Now is the time for sleep,” you insist as Fred finally closes his eyes, already envisioning the beautiful wedding you’ll have together.  Before 7th year, he always envisioned himself marrying one of the girls from the Gryffindor Quidditch team or something.  Never would Fred have ever guessed that he would fall in love with his pen friend from the US and travel thousands of miles just to meet her.
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paulisweeabootrash · 6 years
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Series Review: Read or Die (R.O.D. the OVA)
Welcome to another episode of Paul is Weeaboo Trash! Today’s topic is a show I’ve previously seen one episode of, so long ago that I’m almost going in fresh: the OVA (what we in the US would call a “direct to video release”) of Read or Die (2001–2002)! I was lucky enough to grow up in a household where education and fun were not portrayed as opposites, and we had the means to find plenty of fun educational things to do.  My parents searched for all kinds of potentially interesting activities, and living in southern New Hampshire, the Boston area was not prohibitively far to go for them.  And so I was signed up for Splash, a program one weekend per fall in which MIT students teach middle- and high-school-age kids seminars on a wide variety of topics.
What counted as topics worthy of education was quite broad, however.  I ended up in a "class" that consisted of watching one episode each of several anime that the student running the class was a fan of.  This was back in the days where anime fandom spread person-to-person by recommendations and there was more emphasis on developing a background knowledge of "classics" among the more informed and/or snootier fans.  (I still feel this way a bit because certain tropes and references are so common or influential that being familiar with the original sources can make newer shows suddenly make a lot more sense, but I disapprove of the gatekeeper tendency to look down on people who don't yet know the things "everyone knows".)
I don't remember how many shows we sampled there, but the two that made an impact were Hellsing, which in retrospect was at best questionable for the age of the audience, and was very much not my thing because I have a low tolerance for gore, and the topic of this post, Read or Die, which was very much the kind of thing I wanted to see: a nerd being a badass in a fantastical way.  Especially since I was also really into James Bond at the time, so I was probably primed to eat up other media involving a British spy fighting a mysterious secret organization.  Since I'm incredibly averse to media piracy and had no clue where to buy anime, though, I never followed up to finish watching it, and eventually it faded from my mind.  Until I stumbled across the first volume of the manga for super-cheap at Saboten Con last year, and it flicked some nostalgia switch that reminded me how much I'd enjoyed it at the time, although I barely remember any actual details, so I am practically going in fresh here.
Read or Die follows Yomiko Readman, a teacher, obsessive book collector and reader, and superpowered secret agent who can manipulate paper in nearly any way.  Any paper available, from money to ribbons to a briefcase full of blank looseleaf she apparently just brings with her.  She uses this power in the course of her service as a secret agent, codename The Paper, working for the British Library?!  Along with Miss Deep, who can selectively phase shift, and Drake Anderson, a gruff and dismissive military type (and apparently potter in his cover job), she is assigned to a plan to save the world in a way that vaguely involves collecting books.  Saved from whom?  The I-jin, clones of historical geniuses with superpowers related to their areas of expertise, such as... knowing stuff about insects, or... uh... spreading Buddhism to Japan... who are going to flashy and violent lengths to steal books the British Library is trying to acquire legitimately.  Trust me, it eventually gets explained, and the Big Reveal, although pretty goddamn weird, fits in with the rest of what has been established.  Suspend your disbelief enough to accept the I-jin at all, and it’s fine, although still a bit ludicrous.
And I submit that all that is still less weird and ridiculous than your typical superhero or spy movie, and this show does after all have elements of both genres in one.  Or, well, more and more superhero and military action as it goes on.  Although the theme music uses 60s guitar sounds, chromatic chord changes, and blaring brass hits that are virtually guaranteed to evoke the James Bond theme, and our main cast do work for a secret intelligence agency, they are in quite open military-style conflict with the I-jin -- with the approval of the UN -- and very little that’s actually covert occurs, with the notable exception of something I can’t spoil that happens at the end of ep. 2.  And because of the superpower angle, some of the instances of weirdness are not flaws at all but pretty creative implementations of the characters’ powers (using a paper airplane as a lethal weapon?!).
This last point didn’t really fit in organically, but I'd also like to mention a couple of things about the art that I love but don't see often.  The very first shot of the series uses multiple flat backgrounds at different distances moving in relation to each other to convey the camera moving across the scene, which I have seen in other animated works (at the moment, I can only think of examples from very old Disney movies off the top of my head), but not in recent ones.  I don't know whether it's simply out-of-fashion or this is a result of the shift to CGI so animators figure "why would we do this when we can actually render a city with realistic perspective?"  This show also has a particular kind of fluid motion in characters that I’ve seen in many reasonably-high-production-value shows from the 90s and 00s, but rarely in newer shows (Space Dandy being a notable exception).  Maybe I'm watching the wrong recent shows, maybe it's just a stylistic choice that's out of fashion, maybe it's harder to pull off convincingly when you're not animating by hand.
I’m glad I finally got to watch this.  It’s even better than I remember.  Now to get to work on the rest of the manga and the other series.  Oh yeah, haha.  The abbreviation "R.O.D." stands for both "Read or Die" and "Read or Dream", which are different parts of the same larger series.  The Read or Die manga (4 volumes), this OVA series, the Read or Dream manga (also 4 volumes), and a 26-episode TV series all take place in the same narrative universe, rather than the usual model of the anime being an adaptation/retelling of the manga.  There is also a light novel series I know nothing about, but it sounds from the Wikipedia article like that is the single ongoing series that is the source for the two manga and two anime.  (There is also apparently a barely-related future side story manga.)
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W/A/S: 1/3/3
Weeb: I don’t think there’s much, if anything, in here that would require explanation to a typical Western audience and which isn’t also explained in the dialogue.
Ass: There is a single implied nipple in the opening sequence.  Gasp!  And Miss Deep's costume design is pretty fanservicey, but only barely more explicitly so than you're likely to get in American media deemed suitable for older children.
Shit: Until the Big Reveal, it's just unclear why anyone involved other than Yomiko should be this interested in acquiring the specific books that serve as the show’s MacGuffin, nor is it clear that the I-jin’s plans extend further than searching for them in a very destructive way, leaving me baffled that the Library immediately makes the connection that the books are key to saving the world.  There are a few minor errors in the subtitles and a visual glitch (Blu Ray remaster, please?), and a couple of places where faces just... don’t... look right.  Oh, and if you’re watching the dubbed version, add another half point of Shit for Crispin Freeman’s British accent.
And for the first time I feel the need to add a CONTENT WARNING.  Usually, I think the review is sufficient to give you the idea whether there is anything likely to be disturbing in a show, but this is different, because the first two episodes have the sort of over-the-top stylized combat you might expect from other action anime or Western superhero media, where even a death comes off as un-shocking.  But in ep. 3 of this, there is a shocking pivot.  There are several short instances of graphic and sudden violence of kinds that are quite a bit more disturbing and distressing (even when they involve the use of powers) than anything that occurred previously.
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Stray Observations:
- Yes, those of you who know a little Japanese caught that joke: "Yomiko" could be loosely translated as "read girl".  Her name is "Read Girl Read Man".  Because she likes to read.  Get it?  Ha!  Ha!  Ha!
- In the manga, Yomiko is also established to be a literal bibliophile.  As in "books, regardless of content, turn her on".  I'm kind of glad this is not a plot point in the anime.
- The “secret” operation in the last episode, which is conducted with UN approval and involves an actual military attack with an actual goddamn naval fleet (and collaborating with North Korea to keep the US too distracted to notice it, even though this is a British operation against an organization that literally burned down the White House in the first scene of the first episode) might actually beat the first few episodes of Full Metal Panic! for “worst undercover operation ever”.
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insomniaacs · 7 years
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Flashing Lights (part 1) - Benedict x reader
A/N: This is just something that has been stuck in my brain all week, and I had to get it out in order to move on with my requests... If you haven't watched the Graham Norton Show, I highly recommend you do because it is gold, especially the episodes featuring Ben seriously go watch it In any case, let me know what you think and wether or not I should write a part two... ;D
Summary: the reader and Benedict have been dating for a while, and she goes to the Graham Norton Show to promote a movie when she's presented with the most pleasant surprise...
Word count: 2347 Warnings: none
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[Part 2] [Part 3]
"And without further ado, please welcome to the stage our first guest of the night, Miss (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!"
You heard your name being announced, followed by the loud cheers coming from the other room, and tried to ignore the anxiousness churning in your stomach. Your hands went to smooth out the already unwrinkled fabric of your skirt, and you checked yourself in the mirror one last time to make sure everything was in place.
God, you were so not ready for this.
Your feet carried you up the few steps that separated you from the crowd, and your eyes were momentarily blinded by the bright lights of the stage as you could only listen to the clapping and screaming coming from the audience.
You were really doing this... you were in the Graham Norton Show, and those people were clapping for you.
"Ah, there she is. Come up here!" Graham Norton himself was standing a few feet away from you with his trademark cheeky smile on his face, and you mimicked his expression, climbing the few steps to get to where he was.
"Well, hello there, sir," you said playfully, hugging him before he motioned for you to sit in the long red couch.
Your stomach leaped as you saw the packed audience in front of you, and you thought you might just faint at the prospect of so many people watching you, so you looked at Graham instead.
"So, (Y/N), this is actually your first time on the show!" Graham said with an easygoing tone to his voice, and you immediately felt more relaxed.
"Actually, this is my first talk show like... ever," you answered, and he gasped with a raise of his eyebrows.
Graham smiled. "Well, it's an honour to have you here with us," he sat more comfortably on his chair. "But do tell me, how does it feel to be nominated for best supporting actress at the Oscars at such a young age?" He asked, and you had to think about your answer.
Fame wasn't really something you thought you'd grow used to. You'd never even imagined you'd one day become recognized in the acting industry, let alone be nominated for such an important category at the Academy Awards or be invited to one of Britain's most well known talk shows.
You'd always wanted to be successful in Hollywood, that was for sure, but the thought that you'd actually made it was still completely overwhelming. You'd stared in plenty of small productions before, from TV commercials to national soap operas, but it wasn't until you were cast to play the lead role in a pretty large Hollywood production that you actually became known in the world of celebrities.
"Honestly? I have literally no idea how this happened," you chuckled along with Graham, feeling some of your anxiousness fade away. "One minute I was doing small jobs here and there, and the next I was walking red carpets and all that sort of stuff," you answered truthfully. "I think not even my family thought I'd make it this far," you joked.
"Well none of us did," he countered playfully, and the audience laughed with you. Once the laughter had died down, Graham eyed you seriously. "Well, and since we're talking about family, a little bird told me you've been seeing a certain someone..." he waggled his eyebrows suggestively, and you felt the blood rush to your cheeks.
Trust the mention of him to get you all worked up.
"Oh, did it?" you asked, a small smile on your lips as you looked at the floor, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear shyly.
Graham laughed his characteristic laugh, and you couldn't contain your own grin from spreading. "Tell me, (Y/N), how are things with Benedict?" As soon as his name left his lips, you felt your heart do a little loop inside your chest. You were sure you were blushing furiously now, but there was no use trying to hide it. The both of you had gone public with your relationship a few weeks earlier, after all.
The truth was Benedict and you had known each other for quite a while. You'd met at a play you both starred in together; an adaptation of one of Shakespeare's works. There had been an instant connection between you two, and you'd become friends right away.
He'd been dating at the time, so you'd known there was no chance of romance between you two even though there was something about him that made your insides melt; something oddly unique about the way he held himself that made you a complete mess around him.
For the two years that you'd been friends, that was strictly what you were. Until, that is, he decided to take a step further.
You remembered the night he confessed everything to you. His girlfriend had been out of the picture for a while, but you'd never even considered the possibility that he could also harbor any feelings for you, so when he'd spilled it all out after having a couple glasses of wine, you had been shocked to say the least.
There was something very Benedict about the way he'd stuttered, clearly trying to choose the best words to say to you that would convey what he was feeling. You'd sat on his couch the whole while, trying not to smile; dying to take him by the collar and just kiss him senseless, and that had been exactly what you'd done - after waiting for him to finish, of course, because that moment was just too precious for you to ruin; you wanted to remember it for the rest of your existence.
"Well, Graham," you began, because honestly, things were actually pretty great between you two. Much, much more than great, if you had a say in it. "We're doing fine..." you answered as shortly as you could while adverting his eyes, and Graham chuckled, his eyes glinting mischievously.
"Ah, fine, yes," he said almost absentmindedly, his fingers drumming on the armrests of his chair. "You know, I actually have some pictures here to show the audience what 'fine' actually means, if you don't mind," Graham said with a little laugh, and you closed your eyes with a shake of your head.
"Oh, god..." you groaned, and prepared yourself for the worst.
Graham pointed to a screen near you, an image of you and Benedict popping up immediately. "So here we have you and your boyfriend at the British Independent Movie Awards, and you're, uh... sitting on his lap. I guess they'd run out of chairs, right? That was probably it," he said jokingly and you face palmed, because you were in fact sitting on Benedict's lap, his hands placed on your ribs dangerously close to your cleavage and his mouth almost touching the shell of your ear. There were whistles and shouting in the crowd, and you felt your cheeks burn.
"You know, I'm sure there's an innocent explanation to that," you said defensively, and Graham merely shot you a look before changing the image.
The next one showed you and Benedict in running clothes at the Hyde Park. The photo depicted a pretty normal setting around you, but you felt the embarrassment shoot right through you and settle on your face. You and Benedict were embracing each other closely, and you could see the sweat trickling down your forehead and his neck. But the worst of it was the fact that you two were kissing fervently, his hand holding your head and the other pulling you closer by the waist, and you were mortified upon realising that his tongue was just barely visible, the rest of it disappearing inside your mouth.
The crowd roared again, and you felt like running back to your dressing room in embarrassment.
You covered your face with your hands. "Oh, for fucks sake," you murmured lowly, because you had no recollection whatsoever of that moment, but there was no denying that it had happened as the screen clearly showed the both of you sticking your tongues in each other's mouths, completely oblivious to your surroundings.
"Oh, yes," Graham chuckled, his tone as playful as ever, "I'm sure there's an innocent explanation to this one as well." You were certain your whole face was of a deep crimson shade at that point, and you had a hard time looking into Graham's eyes. "I could go on, you know, but then I'm sure we're going to be stuck in here for a while," he smiled and you laughed freely. God, you were actually really good at embarrassing yourself on TV. "So, (Y/N), now that we've seen how well your relationship's going, let's talk about your upcoming birthday!" Graham clapped his hands excitedly, crossing his legs.
"Ah, yes. It's tomorrow, actually," the crowd clapped, and someone yelled 'happy birthday' from the back of the room, to which you mouthed a smiling 'thank you', grateful for the change of subject.
You weren't surprised in the least when Graham went back to the Benedict matter, though. "And do tell us what are your plans to celebrate it. From what we've seen, I'd say Benedict is great at giving presents," he said with an indiscreet wink and you blushed at the innuendo.
"Oh, I wish I could spend it with him, but we're probably not going to be able to see each other," you said sadly, and pursed your lips at the disappointed cries from the audience. "Yeah... we actually haven't seen each other in over a month, since he's still in America filming Doctor Strange," you revealed, and Graham put his hand over his heart with a soft 'Aww'.
"Well, then I've got just the thing to cheer you up," Graham said, and you looked at him confusedly. "I got you a birthday present," he smiled, and you felt your face brighten up.
"Oh my god, seriously? You shouldn't have," you said as he urged you to stand up right beside the couch.
"I probably shouldn't, but I have a feeling you'll like this one," he joked, and you laughed as he positioned you to face the crowd. "Okay, now close your eyes," Graham said, and you closed them feeling the excitement flutter in your stomach.
For a few moments, the room was completely quiet. You heard a few giggles here and there and there was a gasp in the crowd, but apart from that you couldn't really tell what was going on. Then, a pair of warm hands were placed on your shoulders, and you jumped slightly as you opened your eyes and turned around.
Your hands immediately went to cover your mouth, and for a moment you were left speechless.
"Happy birthday, love," his deep voice said lowly, and you felt your eyes water slightly.
Benedict was there in flesh and bone, his hands holding you dearly, and you didn't suppress the urge to pull him closer. "Oh my god," you exclaimed breathlessly in between the loud cheers of the crowd, wrapping your arms tightly around Benedict's tall frame. He returned your embrace in kind, feeling your beating heart against his chest. "Oh my god, you're really here," you said again, unable to believe what was happening. Benedict smiled that kind smile of his, pulling back slightly to look at your face before giving you a quick peck on the lips, making the audience go wild again.
"Oh, well, I guess I better be off now. Things are going to start heating up, everyone," Graham pretended to head off-stage, and you laughed as he returned to greet Benedict.
The two of you sat together on the couch, and Benedict made a show of sitting as close to you as possible, making everyone laugh. You wiped at your waterline, careful not to ruin your makeup, and the two men beside you chuckled together.
You looked at them with fake anger in your features. "You bastards!" You said crossing your arms. "You lied to me!" your hand slapped halfheartedly at Benedict's chest, and he merely laughed as he captured it in his.
The rest of the show was spent talking about your upcoming movies and projects. Other guests were invited to the stage, but you never left Benedict's side and he never let go of your hand. Eventually your eyes would meet, and you'd both smile at nothing and everything.
Your heart was beating erratically in your chest as you exited the stage, and when you finally reached the confines of your dressing room, you threw your arms around his shoulders again, breathing in his scent as he chuckled.
"Missed me that much, did you?" he asked, putting a finger under your chin to make you look up at him. Your eyes gleamed at the sight of the adorable wrinkles around his eyes when he smiled, and you nodded speechlessly.
God, you'd missed him so much. You had known the distance would be hard to cope with sometimes, and it was something you'd been willing to go through in order to be with him, but the past month had been torturous.
You looked up at Benedict with a small smile gracing your lips. Your hands sneaked around his neck, and you slowly pulled him down to a long kiss. His slight stubble grazed your cheeks, and you grinned at the feel of it. "What?" he asked pulling away, and your smile only widened.
"I love you," you replied in response, feeling giddy and warm on the inside. Benedict's eyes glinted, and he kissed a slow path from your cheeks to your forehead and then down to your neck. You giggled. "And thank you," you muttered, making him stop his ministrations to take a proper look at your face. You lifted your hand to touch his jaw, tracing a pattern all the way to his collar bone with the tip of your finger. This time you gave him a full blown grin. "Thank you for the best birthday present anyone could've ever given me."
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Expert: Aotearoa (New Zealand) has a lot of serious problems. Neoliberal reforms have been imposed against the will of the people here and it is only our pride and our racially informed sense of kinship with imperial power that keeps us from recognising that we are a neocolony – a privileged neocolony perhaps, but a neocolony nonetheless. Recent decades have been an affront to our sovereignty and our progressive and socialist history. We were the first country with a 40 hour working week, the first to allow women to vote, the second to have a comprehensive public health system, and the first welfare state. It cuts against the grain, therefore, that in 30 years we have gone from a country with no poverty or unemployment and near the worst income inequality in the OECD (7th worst in 2014). With relatively low wages and one of the highest costs of living in the world, neoliberalism is ripping apart our social fabric. We have a housing crisis that is worse than those hitting the US, UK, Australia and Canada, but it is even more of a shock because 30 years ago the idea of homelessness and of people begging in the streets was simply alien to us. Make no mistake, neoliberalism has fucked this country, and I do blame the US and the UK along with those traitor scum politicians who serve the empire and not their own people. But in one key respect, neoliberalism was pushing against an open door. Neoliberalism seeks to shrink the social support offered by the state but it also seeks to grow the coercive powers of the state – the police and the prisons. The latter harmonises much more easily with traditional Aotearoan values. We are a punitive people. We are not ruled by fear of malefactors to the extent that the US seems to be, but we still have a strong attraction to “law-and-order”. Our prison population has traditionally been high, but as incarceration rates have grown in other countries we have kept our place in the leading pack (excluding the US which is in a league of its own). We imprison people at nearly twice the rate of Canada; 45% higher than England and Wales and 30% higher than Australia. The punitive culture in Aotearoa is partly the product of settler-colonial relations. The nature of colonialism is to obliterate autonomy. In Aotearoa the British achieved this in the same manner in which they did in India. First is the process of dividing the locals, using diplomatic trickery, and co-opting collaborators. The second is military conquest, which is only achievable because of native forces. The third is the realm of police, judges, truancy officers, land surveyors, bureaucrats, and lawyers. It is a telling part of our history that the reputed “last gasp” of the decades-long New Zealand Wars was when a column of 120 armed men was sent to arrest a leader, Hone Toia, who refused to pay a dog tax. The judge who imprisoned Hone Toia made it clear that he was demonstrating the reach and power of the government. The story thereafter will be familiar to other settler colonial societies, Compulsory schooling became the mechanism for literally beating and torturing the language and culture from Māori children. There was a school-to-borstal pipeline, particularly for Māori boys. This was the beginning of a self-sustaining circle of institutional racism. The result is that even though Māori are only 15% of the total population, they make up more than 50% of the prison population. Even Al Jazeera has made a documentary about the “Locked-Up Warriors” of our country. However, at the risk of weakening the sense of crisis (which is very real in absolute terms) I feel obliged to point out that in proportion to indigenous populations Aotearoa actually has a lower indigenous incarceration rate than Australia and Canada. Australian aboriginals are the most imprisoned people in the world, ahead of US African-Americans. None of this should detract from the significance of Māori imprisonment here, where indigenous people make up a much larger part of the total population. The prison is clearly being used as an ongoing tool of colonial control, even if it is only the momentum of the past that keeps it so. Yet I would argue that treating this as a race issue alone will not help. The racism of the system shows that it is an unjust system, but getting rid of the race element will not fix the injustice. We have a massive social problem with Māori incarceration, but if we fix the racism inherent in the system will it really fix a system that is so open to racism? Where would that leave us with regards to class and poverty? In this day and age do we really think we can address a racial disparity if we don’t also address inequality? Native Affairs Māori TV is a gift to all Aotearoans because it is our only public service mandated TV broadcaster. They produce some very good television – albeit at the cheap end of the spectrum. Yet I was sceptical of the Native Affairs episode on “Locking Up Māori”. I had the strange feeling that they would acknowledge the role of racism and poverty but then circle back around to the normal mindless position of showing stories of individual prisoners finding redemption with the help of guitar-toting redeemers. Well, colour me un-fucking-surprised. Of course, there is something to be said for reminding people that structural and personal racism are real factors behind imprisonment rates. When Marama Fox recently dared to use the term “racism” as a cause of Māori incarceration in The Spinoff’s “Great Debate”, the audience guffawed in incredulity. Clearly some people out there need a bit of educating. Therefore it might seem like a good deed to highlight the structural racism and social drivers that lead to high rate among Māori, but viewers of Native Affairs are probably not the ones that need telling. If you are not familiar with Native Affairs, it is just what it sounds like – a current affairs programme dealing with issues relating to Māori. The name is an ironic reference to the Ministry of Native Affairs – an historic institution of racial paternalism, land theft, and ethnocide. Marama Fox (Māori Party Co-Leader) was quite expressive in the “Great Debate” Given their viewership, it is less significant that Native Affairs addressed structural issues, so neglected in the mainstream, than that they took that as a starting point for a narrative that herded people back into alignment with mainstream thinking – like a sheepdog ensuring our wayward brains don’t wander too far from safe pastures. First they identified the empirically proven drivers of incarceration as being poverty and poor education. Crucially they assert, without the same evidential backing, that “in Aotearoa cultural disconnection is a third factor.” They may or may not be correct in this. As I will discuss later it is not whether the latter is true or not that is at issue, but rather the way in which adding the element of cultural alienation sets up a narrative centred on the individual offender. It is a path back to old habits of thinking; the modern equivalent of the 19th century Samaritan’s self-righteous efforts to save the souls of the benighted sinners who have fallen from the Godly path of lawfulness. Soon after this introduction the programme also broaches the subject of structural racism in the justice system. Māori are more likely to be stopped by police. Under the same circumstances they are more likely to be charged. If convicted they receive harsher sentences and are more likely to be imprisoned. Cumulatively it is this layered racism that is probably the biggest factor in Māori imprisonment. So if poverty, under-education, and racism among police and judiciary are the best known significant drivers of Māori imprisonment then a documentary should surely focus on changing social policy, ending structural and personal racism in education, reforming the police and judiciary. The prisoners (referred to constantly in the programme as “these people”) are not the real authors of their fate in this regard. Yet instead of having the intellect and the guts to embrace what the statistics tell us, the participants cleave to facile moralism – depicting the narratives of each prisoner as being driven by transgression and the consequences that follow from it. The social science shows clearly that focusing on changing prisoners is stupid. It tells us unambiguously that we are not being honest about what acts do or do not deserve punishment and why we expect prisoners to embrace guilt, remorse, and the need to change themselves. People are married to the fictional reductionism of crime stories in books, TV, and cinema. Through constant sensationalism in the news people are made overly fearful of the capacity for violence among convicted criminals, feeling safer if they think that people are being locked away. This is a heuristic error that vastly exaggerates the ability of any prison system to enact what is called “specific incapacitation” by isolating the offenders from society. It also fails to account for the ability of the prison system to engender violence. Native Affairs should have shown the efforts to reform those in authority, and highlighted where such efforts do not exist. The onus should have been on police, politicians, teachers and judges. We should have seen them struggling to overcome their racism and their moral and intellectual failings. Exemplars should have described their journey of overcoming their unthinking abuse. In the documentary we meet the victim of a cruel self-righteous and almost certainly racist judge. This judge ruined a young man’s life. He caused immense harm and pain. but where was that judge or one like him talking about their journey to redemption – complete with guilt and remorse for destroying futures, for ripping apart social bonds, and for wasting inordinate amounts of taxpayers money? I am aware that our prejudices are deep. It is easy to see a tattoo-covered ill-spoken prisoner as a wrongdoer, but few people can envision the judge as being a dangerous and vicious parasite, profiting from suffering that they help perpetuate. Yet if you strip away our personal fears and our social prejudices; if you judge the judges on the fruits of their actions rather than their benevolent rhetoric and evinced good intentions, it is authorities such as these that need fixing, not our prison population. So, dear reader, I am going to walk you through some things. I am going to show you that incarceration and criminality are not strongly linked; and I am going to help you learn to fear and loathe the genteel. Regardless of the existence of individual dangerous prisoners, collectively those in prison are the victims of violent injustice, not the other way around. Lipstick on a Pig On the surface, The Opportunities Party has an admirably progressive criminal justice policy. They aim to reduce our prison population to half the projected number in 2027. There are two problems with this: arrogance and reductionism. The arrogance comes from presenting evidence already widely understood and proclaiming that other politicians are too stupid to get it. The reductionism is in reducing a complete socio-political problem to a single track of statistics without any sort of critical self-awareness. I don’t want to be unfair to TOP, who do link criminal justice to broader issues of poverty and inequality, but even that is a very narrow way of looking at much more profound questions of guilt and innocence; justice and injustice; transgression and obedience. The weakness of their position is easily demonstrated with a question: if it is so stupid and counterproductive to lock up 10,000 people, why do you want to keep 6000 people in prison? TOP are trying to solve a “problem” without asking why it arose initially. Why are we so punitive? I have suggested that some of it comes from our colonial past, but it has a contemporary and historical scaffolding that exists independently of that. We blame our populist right-wing politicians fear-mongering at election time and emotive pressure groups like the Sensible Sentencing Trust; we blame talk-back radio and racist muddle-Nu Zillind, but it takes two to tango. Our politics are not shaped by one side of a political divide, they are shaped by the way our political discourse divides issues into two vested camps and creates a static establishment orthodoxy that serves both. While Hegel, followed by Marx and Engels, proposed that social forces create a dynamic “dialectic”, it is far more common in our time for “opposing” ideologies to become entwined in mutually sustaining inertia. Arrayed against the self-righteous sadists who demand that convicts must suffer are an equally facile bunch of liberal journalists, left-liberal politicians and NGO do-gooders who (by choice or by constraint) are mainly about looking as saintly as possible without really rocking the boat. Our problems run much deeper than the attitudes of right-wing people. The rituals that surround our criminal justice system should be a clue that something is wrong. Rationality does not need to don special robes and use dead languages to give itself gravity. The system itself is not a measured and enlightened social institution, it is a quasi-religious instrument of authority. On close examination it maintains a strange irrational pretence of omniscience and still functions as if the court and the judges within it were touched with divine power. Fixing our criminal justice system will require much more that a white-hatted technocrat Sheriff riding in on his high-horse to tell all us dumbshit yokels how to live our lives. The problem with people like Gareth Morgan is that their disdain for the intellects of others makes them incredibly naïve about social institutions. Just because a given institution purports to serve a given function that does not mean that that is it’s sole function, or main function, or even a real function. Some social institutions do the opposite of their pretended function. To put it another way, Gareth Morgan wants to put “evidence-based” lipstick on a pig that he is too stupid to smell. Controlling and Punishing Social Inferiors Our institutions have multiple historical roots but the tendency to echo the past (even when we can see clearly how inhumane and unjust the past was) has to be explained in contemporary terms. We are not so different than our cruel, stupid, superstitious and hypocritical forebears and much that we think of as the cast is actually still as much with us as it has ever been. To begin with there is the religious and pseudo-religious moral impulse to view matters of criminality as an expression of sin – a form of moral transgression. This comes from the belief that the law is a moral framework and even when it fails to be so obedience to the law is a moral imperative in itself. This is an authoritarian viewpoint that is not actually morally sound. It is an irrational impulse and you do not have to delve too far into history to see that morality and obedience to the law are distinct and may be at complete odds with each other. By consensus we now recognise many laws from different places and times as immoral – for example, race and gender legislation that make chattels of racial groups, wives and daughters; apartheid laws; or the Third Reich’s racial laws. Then there are the politicians, bureaucrats and social workers who see their jobs as being the imposition of their will on the behaviour of others. At base any attempt to change an individual or group of individuals is an attempt to control those persons through the exercise of one’s own will. This may be both a personal inclination that attracts people into positions of such power and a situational product of our institutions of power. Our society hands people in these situations hammers and instructs them to treat certain individuals as nails. For example, social workers may as a group lobby for social change, but their day-to-day hour-to-hour activity is to try and change individual people however futile that may ultimately be in the bigger picture. By contrast, some politicians have a clear pre-disposed inclination to enjoy exercising power over others. Bill English was recently asked what cause he would take to the streets to march for, and he responded that he would march for the right to govern us. This is just a small glimpse into the state of derangement that veteran senior politicians fall into. They do not see governance as the exercise of shaping institutions in order to allow the will of the people to rule, but rather see governance as creating and using institutions to control and “govern” the people. To them that is what governing is, and they see no contradiction between that and what they refer to as “democracy”. These contemporary controlling impulses find rich and fertile soil to flourish in our inherited criminal justice system. Centuries of penal reform have changed the sharp brutality of sadistic 18th century barbarism, into the duller grinding inhumanity of today. The criminal justice system that we have today may be the most gleamingly polished turd in human history, but underneath it is still an inherited institution of class warfare (repurposed to serve also as an instrument of racial oppression). When the historian George Rudé examined early 19th century English “criminal justice” system, he found an institution devoted to perpetuating the social order of class and ethnic division, not an institution of “justice”. This was occurring at a time that saw an increasing conflation of poverty and criminality. The enclosure of common land and the loss of small-holdings, along with agricultural reform and industrialisation, had seen a growth of poverty in England and a breakdown in the medieval “Poor Laws”. Not coincidentally, this era saw the creation of the first professional police force. Many of the lower classes were transported first to North America and then to Australia and there was not a great deal of distinction between committing a criminal act and being criminalised and punished due purely to indigence. The end of the transportation era saw the rise of a three-part system of prisons, debtor’s prisons, and workhouses. The workhouses were cruel and exploitative. The clear, if irrational, ideological foundation was that the poor must be made to suffer if they were to receive sustenance. The moralism of the era demanded that they redeem themselves through suffering, tinged by Calvinist beliefs that poverty was a sign of sinfulness and God’s disfavour. Trapped in the “Safety Net” Social reformers worked to end this inhumanity, and seemingly they succeeded. Yet they did not succeed as well as they might have hoped. Decades after the abolition of workhouses George Orwell lived the “down and out” life in England and what he found was a new form of cruelty and a new way of trapping people in poverty. Those who sought shelter and nourishment were forced to prove that they were not merely lazy scroungers living the high life at the expense of their betters. Thus they were forced to remain imprisoned in locked cells for their shelter and then forced by law to walk many hours to get shelter for another night. Needless to say they could not work and could not have social or family connections. With no way of earning money their attire, and particularly footwear, was appallingly poor for those who had to spend each and every day walking and exposed to the elements: One could not, in fact, invent a more futile routine than walking from prison to prison, spending perhaps eighteen hours a day in the cell and on the road. There must be at the least several tens of thousands of tramps in England. Each day they expend innumerable foot-pounds of energy – enough to plough thousands of acres, build miles of road, put up dozens of houses – in mere, useless walking. Each day they waste between them possibly ten years of time in staring at cell walls. It was an expensive and self-defeating exercise. The sadism of it was less newsworthy (or Dickensworthy) than the workhouses, but was it really much better? Things may have improved now, but maybe not as much as people think. In many ways we are slipping back. Poverty and its effects are intensifying and incidents of people trapped in implacable cycles of futility and suffering are on the increase. We have never gotten over the idea that those who need help can and should be controlled. We think it acceptable that unemployed beneficiaries should be drug tested (and sanctioned for failing) and an overzealous campaign against “contamination” has seen many people lose tenancy in social housing due to traces of methamphetamine being found. Effectively that means that the less fortunate in society have a greater degree of state control in their lives than the more fortunate. Many people undoubtedly think that it is beneficial for the unfortunate to have the guiding hand of a benevolent state to guard them from their own self-destructive impulses. It is for their own good, after all. In reality that is as much of a self-righteous delusion as the Victorian missionary’s belief in reforming the sinner. There is an increasing recognition that the neoliberal state systematically produces homelessness and that forcing special conditions on recipients of housing or other welfare acts to reproduce the vicious circle enforced on tramps in Orwell’s time. One response to the structural injustice created by neoliberalism is the movement known as Housing First. Even PM Bill English proudly claims credit for “Housing First” initiatives. Unfortunately English is about as capable of grasping the essence of Housing First as Vlad the Impaler would be capable of grasping Nonviolent Communication. In theory, though not as it is widely practised, Housing First is supposed to provide unconditional tenure. Yet under 3 terms of National Party government, with English as leader or deputy, the government’s own social housing agency has been going in the opposite direction. Neoliberalism reproduces the trap enforced on Orwell and his down-and-out compatriots, but with a much greater masquerade of benevolence. It actively encourages the underlying cause of social ills through deregulation, austerity, erosion of worker conditions and the devaluation of labour in relation to capital. Neoliberalism helps poverty, precarity and socio-economic exclusion to flourish, encouraging the disease but making a show of treating the symptoms. The long walks and the cold cells of 1930s England are replaced by the equally futile system of grants and supplements, constantly exposing people to a capricious and arbitrary system where they must pointlessly engage in a bureaucratic struggle to gain the money and service required to live in a system that is designed to give minimal support. The basic “safety net” support is insufficient in itself and yet is still contingent on conditions and impositions that can be extremely difficult for destitute people to live up to. On the Native Affairs programme they revealed that the Howard League works to get inmates their driver’s licenses. This is a crucial and worthy effort, but it is a piecemeal step. The need for a driver’s license is a symptom of poverty, social exclusion and racism in the education system. It is not the only barrier affecting inmates and if they have to keep reaching out for help over each thing the process itself becomes demoralising and debilitating. We have begun to have real conversations about the reality facing those on benefits today, and with luck that will continue, but for the last 40 years the gravitational pull has been to become ever more and more aligned with the US. By withdrawing support from the most needy due to infringements of a pseudo-moral code of behaviour we risk following the US footsteps of creating a criminalised underclass, a “school-to-prison pipeline” and a racial caste system. In many aspects the US is already in a Dickensian state. For example, Eric Garner, who was killed by NYPD, was a career criminal who lived by breaking the law – he sold loose untaxed cigarettes and lived off the meagre profit margin. He wasn’t selling them at the time of his killing. He wasn’t even on his normal turf and was doing nothing wrong, but a cop recognised him from his own neighbourhood. Garner got angry at being harassed when minding his own business, and the police reacted with brutal and escalating violence that intensified when Garner was struggling for his life. It feels as if we are not far away from the point where we too will tolerate the life and death of our own Eric Garner, seeing both the “criminal” and the poor person as somehow less human, not worthy of a right to a dignified life and ultimately not even worthy of a guaranteed right to life of any sort. In the NZ Herald Paul Little has recently asked how Dickensian we have become: Under the so-called three strikes law, Raven Campbell, a prison inmate who pinched a guard on the buttocks – his third offence – was sentenced, as that law required him to be, to the maximum term of seven years jail. Social housing agency Tamaki Housing issued an eviction notice to the five children of Mabel Pe just weeks after her death. They were given three weeks to vacate the home where they had lived for 10 years. Housing New Zealand issued an eviction notice to a family of seven, including two blind children, after their grandmother died. [3 of the children also suffer PTSD after losing a mother to cancer and a father to suicide shortly thereafter.] In the last quarter of 2016, the number of people applying to Work and Income for hardship grants to buy food was 112,000 – an increase of 14 per cent over the equivalent period in the previous year. Wendy Shoebridge, who was discovered dead in her home the day after she was told she faced charges over benefit fraud, was later found not to have committed any fraud, according to evidence presented at the inquest into her death. We are seeing the rise of conditions of ever greater social division, a restructure in the relations of capital to labour and a massive upward redistribution of wealth. The transformation is akin to that of the mid-19th century, described by Karl Polanyi as The Great Transformation, and the response of our welfare and criminal justice systems is the same. It is not to ameliorate the conditions of those who are suffering the most under the change, but to preserve the social order. In effect this usually means inflicting greater suffering, hence the rising prison populations and the growing precariousness of those on benefits. If we don’t face up to those facts, how can we hope to make things better with our evidence-based culturally-sensitive “progressive reforms”. Quite apart from the fact that much of the “reform” only seeks to get incarceration rates back to where they were decades ago we cannot hope to effect positive change if we do not face up to the in-built malevolence and injustice in the system. Crime Rates and Imprisonment Rates are not the Same Thing To return to Native Affairs: Almost immediately after having established that Māori are imprisoned at rates disproportionate to their offending, without skipping a beat the narrator of “Locking Up Māori” reverts to the mindless conflation of imprisonment and crime rates, almost as if the journalist is incapable of processing the meaning of what is coming out of her own mouth. The disconnect between crime and punishment is something that we as a society are not dealing with at all. It is far greater than the disparity in offending rates and imprisonment rate between Māori and Pākehā because there is also a massive class dimension that reinforces the racial dimension. Everything about our notions of crime is freighted with class disparity. To begin with there is a much larger problem of prejudicial enforcement than merely who gets stopped by police more when driving or walking. Whole sectors of society are virtually invisible to law enforcement when it comes to certain sorts of crime. Most notably, bourgeois and wealthy people can reliably get away with committing drug offences. Many politicians have used illegal drugs, but few of those oppose prohibition. They are not volunteering to be punished themselves, but they are happy for others to be punished for doing the same thing they were not punished for. The system is incorrigibly unequal and unjust. Ironically, many prisoners are victims in childhood or adolescence of serious criminal offences against them. Many, as we now know, were abused while in state care. Repeated offences of sexual abuse and severe physical abuse against vulnerable children in one’s care are amongst the most serious crimes we can imagine, yet those who perpetrated such heinous offences are afforded effective impunity while the victims often end up imprisoned for far less grave crimes. Our need to see certain infractors punished is shaped far more by our sense of social order and hierarchy than it is by legally defined criminality. Researcher Emily Baxter conducted research for a project she called “We Are All Criminals”. In interviews with people she draws out the crimes they have committed and maybe spared little thought for because they suffered no consequences. She then gets them to reflect on how their lives might have been different had they been apprehended and reflect on the role that class and race play in making the difference between what might have been a youthful adventure for them, but could be the start of a descent into social exclusion for others. The fact is that we are all criminals. Only a miniscule number of people have not committed crimes that individually or cumulatively could bring about a custodial sentence. If you think you are one of the rare innocents, then you probably need to interrogate you memory more vigorously. There are also crimes which are hard to detect and prosecute. Nobody disputes that rape is a very serious crime, but the great majority of rapists will never see the inside of a court, let alone a prison. We accept that reality because we cannot change it, yet it is hard to say how it can be just to imprison a minor thief or a cannabis user when rapists walk free far more often than not. Further still there is the massive disparity in prosecution and even in the legal status of equivalent crimes that corresponds with differences in socio-economic status and power. The most obvious example at the moment is the disparity between those who commit tax evasion and those who commit benefit fraud. Tax evasion costs the government 33 times as much as benefit fraud, but the response is the inverse of what should be rational. Academic Lisa Marriott gives us these points: * We investigate a higher rate of welfare recipients than taxpayers. Around 5 percent of welfare recipients are investigated in an average year, compared to around 0.01 percent of taxpayers. * We have greater numbers of criminal prosecutions of welfare fraudsters than tax evaders. In a typical year, there are 600–900 prosecutions of welfare fraudsters and 60–80 prosecutions of tax evaders. * A higher proportion of prison sentences are given to welfare fraudsters, for a lower level of offending, compared to tax evaders. For an average level of offending of $76,000, 67 percent of welfare fraudsters received a prison sentence. For an average level of offending of $229,000, 18 percent of tax evaders received a prison sentence. Marriott also compares two cases: “To summarise: welfare fraud of $3.4 million, where all was repaid (and more [$6.7 million was paid]), resulted in 10 years in prison — while white-collar crime of $4.3 million, where none was repaid, resulted in less than two years in prison.” Another disparity is in the treatment of employers who steal from employees and vice versa. “Theft as a servant” is considered very serious because it is a breach of trust. Stealing from your employees, though, is a different story. I guess the logic is that because employees don’t have a choice to entrust their wages to their employer there is no breach of trust when the employer steals from them. Wage theft is commonplace in Aotearoa yet criminal penalties such as imprisonment, home detention or even community service are unknown. There is a push to impose criminal penalties such as prison on offenders, but not because we treat all other thieves in this manner, but because the offending is now reaching such a level of exploitation that it is linked with enslavement – yes, enslavement, another thing we could not have imagined happening here even ten years ago. Stealing hundreds of thousands from people poorer than you, who have no choice but to trust you, and whose labour is the source of your own wealth isn’t even treated as criminal. That is how fucked and how biased the system is. And then there are those who more or less get to decide for themselves what the law is and whether or not they are allowed to steal from others without penalty. Meteria Turei, co-leader of the Green Party, bravely admitted to having lied about having flatmates in order not to lose some of the benefit she received while she was a single mother studying law. This was to raise awareness of poverty and precarity. She was hounded by the media relentlessly and felt compelled to resign just a week and a half after Andrew Little’s resignation (another party leader resigned the next week, by the way, just to keep the journalists on their toes). People asked why Turei had to go for taking a small amount so that she could afford to raise a child, while our wealthy PM Bill English took much more by deception. A “fact-check” assured people that Turei was naughty, because she broke the law, while English did not. Simon Wilson then “sense-checked” the fact-checkers comparing the crimes of Metiria Turei with the perfectly legal acts of PM Bill English who claimed hundreds of thousands of dollars as a member of Parliament in order to cover the cost of living in a place he clearly did not live. Some of Wilson’s conclusions: * Bill English must have known that he and his family did not live in Southland. But the system allowed him to pretend that they did, and he took advantage of that. * He got away with it by arguing that his lawyers had told him it was OK. * When he was found out, the system continued to protect him. In fact, as Wilson further explains, the legality of the acts was not actually tested strongly: “He denied he had broken the law and the auditor general agreed. She appears to have been particularly persuaded by the fact he had relied on legal advice that his position was tenable.” But wait, there’s more! Because ultimately the most criminally guilty people in the world don’t just go free, they are rewarded for their crimes. The worst criminal bankers on Wall St and in the City of London are not jailed, they are paid handsomely to retire, to stay on, or to work in government. Corporations can become a law unto themselves, causing thousands of deaths in Third World countries though pollution or using government forces to massacre  those who stand between them and profit. From the days of United Fruit in Guatemala, to Shell’s involvement in the slaughter of people in the Niger Delta. No criminal charges. Nor are there charges for murders carried out by the CIA, let alone other crimes. The whole existence of the clandestine action arms of agencies such as the CIA is based on lawbreaking. One old pre-digital estimate suggested that the CIA was committing crimes at a rate of 80,000 per day, dwarfing any non-governmental organised crime outfit. With computerised surveillance there is a near unlimited potential for individual crimes to be happening at dizzying speed. Then there are the mass murderers. Since the death of Stalin, those with the most blood on their hands have mostly been Western political leaders. Johnson, Nixon, Kissinger – even Ford and Carter – Brzezinski, Reagan, Thatcher, Bush(es), Clinton, Blair. It is estimated that 20 million have been killed due to US-led aggression since World War II, frequently with crucial UK participation. They also have high levels of involvement in other acts of mass-murder. They backed the slaughter of 1 million in Indonesia and the subsequent genocide in East Timor. They gave diplomatic cover to the genocide in East Pakistan (now Bangladesh). They trained and backed those carrying out the genocide in Guatemala. Third world dictators cannot even compare in terms of the number of dead they have caused. Yet Henry Kissinger, perhaps the biggest murderer of them all, is a fêted elder statesman, treated like a rock star guru by the political elite. These people are by any reasoned standard more despicable and fearful than the very worst of our prison population. So, when you see the stats that show that social forces such as racism and poverty are the main causes of imprisonment, do not immediately think, yeah, but people need to be held accountable for their actions. The worst people in the world are not held accountable for their actions. Normal people are not held accountable in the way that those who fall foul of the criminal justice system are. It is a capricious system full of racial and class prejudice and rampant injustice Argument from Consequences As mentioned, the Native Affairs programme that fulfilled my low expectations of journalistic endeavour included “cultural disconnection” as an unproven third factor driving Māori incarceration. How much it is true that “cultural disconnection” causes imprisonment is definitely an interesting topic, but in the programme it becomes the central factor – the focus of the programme’s call to action. Without seeming to be aware of what they were doing, the makers of the programme use the topic of “cultural disconnection” to leave poverty and poor education as background factors in a narrative driven by notions of individual reform. There is certainly something quite powerful in the question by one prisoner who asked why it took coming to prison for him to find out about his own identity. The colonial system literally stole the sense of self from many Māori and it is heartbreaking that it might take imprisonment for some of those to benefit from reconnecting. But now the viewers have been taken back into their comfort zone, the place where no one can see the forest because they are too busy looking at all the trees. Unlike those factors of class and race which allow for the actions of others to be a cause of imprisonment, “cultural disconnection” can only be interpreted as a cause of criminality in the prisoner themselves. The notion leads us back to the belief that it is still their criminal transgression that drives their fate and what we really need to do is to help them to stop being so angry and naughty. It is as if the journalists are programmed by cliché. They will always find a way back into the comfort of tinkering reformism that maximises the sense of doing good but minimises any real clash with the status quo. In this case, cultural disconnection brings the focus right back to criminal acts by prisoners. It is actually a little bit ridiculous, because as wonderful as it may be for Māori inmates to connect with tikanga Māori, it is not why they are in prison and nor should they be penalised if they do not want to embrace Māoritanga. When you get right down to it, they are suggesting that you can fix a racist system by getting the victims of racism to change, not the racists. There is an obvious parallel here to those who think that the way to prevent rape is for the potential victims to alter their appearance and behaviour. Yet people seem to find it impossible to let go of the notion that prisoners have personal responsibility for their fate. To be reformed they must go through the ritual of penitence and agree that it is they that must transform. It is true that, apart from those wrongly accused, they must have contributed at least one “wilful” criminal act to find themselves behind bars, but between the disparities in policing and sentencing we can see that in most ways the criminal act is not the greatest factor contributing to the imprisonment. It is tempting at this point to separate violent from non-violent offenders. Then, in pragmatic terms, we could abolish drug prohibition and end custodial sentences for non-violent crime. That would lower prison populations and instantly curb the worst injustices coming out of the racial biases of the criminal justice system. But as much as I feel that drug prohibition is morally insupportable (and that too is a conversation that needs to be dealt with in full) I also think that blunting the worst excesses of an unjust system still leaves an unjust system. The fact is that even in committing a criminal act an offender is acting as a product of circumstances beyond their control. People resist understanding this, but it is abundantly clear in the statistics. In violent offending, the unchosen circumstances of birth and upbringing are clear predictors. Growing up exposed to and especially victim to violence does not always mean that a person will become violent, but it is such a strong statistical association that it cannot be ignored. And there are other factors such as sensory deprivation in infancy, exposure to lead and other toxins, traumatic brain injury or other neurological conditions. The more we study the factors that influence behaviour the more we must admit that we are all products of circumstances that we do not control. It is not just the social sciences that problematise our punitive understanding of criminality. While many philosophers still try to justify the existence of free will, neuroscientists are increasingly able to pinpoint the chemical processes of decision-making. If someone spikes you with a drug it will affect your decision-making. If someone controls the information you receive, it will affect your decision making. If you are abused as a child, it will affect your decision-making. Free will is a delusion. Even our current understanding of physics suggests that the universe is shaped by stochastic (individually random and unpredictable) subatomic events. Because these shape the real world and ultimately affect our lives it is impossible to reconcile the nature of the universe with free will. Free will was an excusable explanation for a complex phenomenon in the same way that explaining lightning as bolts cast by a god was excusable before the process was properly understood. It makes sense that we would feel that free will exists even without proof, but it is a religious concept not a rational concept. Basing criminal justice decisions of the concept of free will ultimately makes no more sense than treating criminality as demonic possession. Yet the concept of free will underpins our notions of criminal culpability. We cling on to a model of individual guilt and just punishment because it works so well with our emotions and social conventions. When bad things happen we want a sense of reciprocity and we also want to feel protected from those who might threaten us. On the more sinister side, we also have a tendency to persecute those who are perceived as alien, defective, diseased, or just a burden to our social collective. This is nothing to do with justice. On the contrary, it is one of the ways our evolution has sowed within us conflicts between compassion and brutality; xenophobia and solidarity; inclusion and exclusion. Our sense of reciprocity, however, is perhaps the greatest impediment to a more enlightened approach because this innate tendency is bolstered and magnified by the narratives in which we constantly immerse our consciousnesses. I refer here to books, film, TV and so forth. In our stories transgressions seldom go unpunished, guilt is seldom in doubt to the reader or viewer, and there is almost always the implication that somehow the punishment ends the narrative arc, tying up the story with a nice little bow. However, this is not just true in fictional narratives, it is also the structure used almost exclusively in news reporting and documentary. In reality neither safety nor reciprocity can be achieved through the criminal justice system and social exclusion is both undesirable and harmful. Despite this, they are powerful desires and the reason we cling to the idea of free-will is that without free-will we cannot have individual criminal culpability. Without that sense of culpability, we cannot package reciprocity, safety and social exclusion as a function of “justice”. We cling to the idea of wilful individual responsibility when logic and evidence both tell us it is a delusion. We do not want to deal with the consequences of not having the ability to pronounce guilt because it would deprive us of our ability to see the criminal justice system as having inherently positive outcomes. Ritual Sacrifice There is something disturbing about the way we as a society created a sudden and new official Truth once a judge or jury has pronounced guilt. Suddenly doubt is officially banished, facts are certain. There is a time between the verdict and the sentencing when the convict becomes a species of outlaw. Their penalty and path back to citizenship is undetermined and actions which are not crimes may affect their penalty as much, or more, than the actually criminal act(s). This outlaw status, by some mysterious rationale, becomes retroactive. Everyone has a right to deny charges against them without penalty, but once they are found guilty a magic time machine allows judges to reward “early guilty pleas” because the special powers they have make everything fair (and apparently there is no contradiction at all in discriminating in favour of those who admit guilt because it is not the same as discriminating against those who maintain their innocence). It is just as problematic that once guilt is established there is an expectation that the convict must now align themselves with the official Truth and make a ritual obeisance before the court by admitting guilt and expressing remorse. This is not a rehabilitative process and it is not a parole hearing, this is part of the sentencing, so it is actually quite difficult to say, in terms of justice, why remorse at the time of sentencing is so important. The practical effect of coercing a show of remorse from a convict is that it forces that person, and often their supporters, to readjust their narrative and to reify the Truth established by the court. One of the strangest parts of the ritual, from my perspective at least, is the breadth which judges give themselves in rendering judgments. At this point in the proceedings there can be no objections or arguments. It is pure soliloquy. It is quite normal for judges to tell those found guilty what their motives were, what they were thinking, and what they feel currently, as if the judge were some form of omniscient telepath. As with everything here, I do not have to delve deep into the past to find exemplars. A case I find problematic is that of Gustav Sanft who killed his 2 year-old daughter. At sentencing just a few days ago as I write his wife pleaded: “I know people want to see Gustav punished for this accident, I see it everyday in him that he punishes himself. All I can ask is have mercy on Gustav. Our babies need their daddy at home, that is where he belongs.” The judge, however, decided that Sanft was not experiencing real remorse but rather “self-pity”. He sentenced him to 4 years and 4 months imprisonment. The judge said: “Your denial you pulled the trigger is something you have latched onto, perhaps to help explain to yourself, and others, the terrible consequences of that morning.” This leaves us with two unpalatable options. One is that the judge, despite feeling at liberty to characterise the mental states of others, is so ignorant that he is unaware of the effect of adrenaline on short-term memory. If Sanft did pull the trigger there is no reason at all to expect that he would remember doing so. The other option is that the judge doesn’t actually care what Sanft believes. Either way, the emphasis on this detail is disturbing. The prosecution did not rely on his having pulled the trigger and the jury’s verdict does not confirm the fact. If Sanft were more calculating and cold-blooded he might simply have told the judge what he thought the judge wanted to hear. Ultimately he cannot be considered more guilty of the original crime because he refuses to admit to something he may not even remember. I cannot say what sentence might have been given if Sanft had admitted the act, but the judge himself has made it seem that a very important factor in sentencing is submission to the judgment of the court. It is hard not to feel that what is required of Sanft is not completely different to an auto-da-fé – the public penance required and coerced from those condemned by the Inquisition which reinforced to onlookers the righteousness and honesty of the convictions and subsequent punishments. Michel Foucault opens Disclipline et Punir with the horrifying theatrical spectacle of the public execution by torture of an attempted regicide. Foucault made the case that the theatrics of power did not disappear with penological reform, they just became more regular and less overtly objectionable. In that much, at least, he is correct. Much of this ritualised display is a show of power designed to maintain and reproduce the power that is exercised. The Disconnect We understand that the outcomes of our criminal justice system are measurably and demonstrably bad. The individual stories of those caught in the system, though most people are blissfully ignorant of them, can be extremely harrowing. People’s punishment may lead to much greater suffering than the crime they committed. In most cases the family of prisoners suffer despite not having committed a crime, and the cost to the taxpayer is excessive – stealing from the sort of spending that might be genuinely helpful to people. We acknowledge these harms yet we seem to think that the basic system doesn’t need fixing. It has been more than 250 years since Cesare Beccaria wrote On Crimes and Punishments, and yet in many ways we have not yet lived up to his vision of a humane system in which punishments served rational utilitarian purposes. Perhaps it is an impossibility; punishment and humane rationality may not be not reconcilable. We need to end the vestiges of noxious feudalism within our court system, but to do that we may have to go further. We need to end the fictions of guilt and innocence and the even more dangerous fiction that we can safely create an absolute Truth and justly act as if doubt does not persist. We need to move beyond our primitive senses of vengeance and reciprocity and recognise that punishment is never just. We need to abolish prisons. It may be that some people must be specifically prevented from harming others, but in the vast majority of cases we know that imprisoning some people is not a way to prevent harm. Even in a case of “preventive detention”, which aims at the specific incapacitation of those who are deemed an unavoidable danger to others, we have seen recently that the criminal justice system may enable crime instead of preventing it. In another NZ case that was in the headlines just days ago, a man who had been sentenced to preventive detention after having been convicted of raping (on separate occasions) a woman and a girl was found to have subsequently raped three cellmates. One was repeatedly raped for a week. Another was knocked unconscious and then raped. The man threatened to kill his victims and told them he had nothing to lose because he was a “lifer” due to his preventive detention sentence. In other words the attempt at incapacitation seems to have actually become a factor leading to the violence. The double-bunking that facilitated these rapes was introduced under Minister Judith Collins who dismissed concerns over rape, then later made a prison rape joke (as did the PM of the time John Key). These details reveal that the most “law and order” minded people are ultimately, if unconsciously, concerned about social order, not justice. The very reason that they are so assured in their “tough on crime” stances is that they have a Manichean view of Us “good” people and Them “bad” people. Such people often commit crimes, quite serious ones, but they don’t consider themselves to be criminals. Criminals are the racial and class Other. The baddies from the cop shows. Prisons are mechanisms of social control, one of the ways that the neoliberal state is keeping lower class people in their place as the system begins to fail them. You might think that if we get rid of prisons, change the court system, and if we stop singling out some as the officially Guilty, then we will have a sense of broad impunity that will lead to a lawless orgy. It is a challenge, true. Yet we are almost all criminals, and we accept as a matter of course that those who have committed the most heinous acts must continue to live among us. Some, particularly rapists, will never even have to talk to a policeman. Some may be acquitted because of reasonable doubt rather than innocence. Some will have been convicted, but apart from a very small number who die in prison, those people will still be part of society. Prisons can’t change that. They can and do make things worse in a number of ways. The problems of the criminal justice system, and the politics and power behind the discourse of criminal justice, are absolutely pervasive. I can almost take exemplars from the headlines of any day on which I write on the issue, and indeed I did so. There is no cherry-picking here, this gross injustice is the daily reality of our society and it needs to change. This has been my idiosyncratic argument for abolition; born of my frustration at the half-arsed bullshit that journalists keep spouting; born of my frustration at all the things never talked about, the assumptions and the complacency. I hope it adds new dimensions, but I should also point out to readers that there are far more developed views out there. Abolitionism has a very long history with many renowned proponents such as Emma Goldman, Nils Christie, Ruth Morris and Angela Davis. I urge readers to engage with the prison abolition movement, including People Against Prisons Aotearoa. The costs of not abolishing prisons are growing. http://clubof.info/
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