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shar357 · 6 years

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Choice (Chapter 1)

Found here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15130574/chapters/35085380

Summary: Coming out should be a choice. Unfortunately, sometimes that choice is snatched away and the immediate aftermath can be devastatingly painful.

Chapter 1: Breakdown

___________Cafeteria, 12:05 PM ____________________

"Are you gay?"

Kirishima started choking on his katsudon. Awase's eyes widened in alarm and he quickly started patting the other boy's back, while handing him a glass of water. Kirishima proceeded to down the entire glass, eyes still a bit teary from all of his coughing.

Kirishima was normally social at lunch, but he'd decided to sit alone today to get in some last minute review for the Japanese literature test in 25 minutes. He liked talking to his friends way too much to concentrate on schoolwork around them - at least around Kaminari and Ashido. Bakugou couldn't stand any noise at all while he was studying and hadn't even shown up to the cafeteria, opting to stay in the classroom. Sero felt confident in his ex-worst subject after all of Yaomomo's tutelage and had decided to try to help Kaminari and Ashido cram, even though it was probably a lost cause. So, Kirishima had been sitting alone when Awase had decided to approach him, figuring the discussion would be easier the more private it was. After letting Kirishima recover from the near-death experience, Awase tried to clarify.

"Look... you... you don't have to actually answer me. I mean, we don't really know each other, it's not my business. Monoma was just saying some shit about it on the way to school and, well, I thought you should know. It's fine if you are, really, or if you're not. I mean just... fuck, I don't know... this seemed like the right thing to do... " Awase started mumbling and shuffling his feet awkwardly. Kirishima didn't hear most of what he said because there was an uncomfortable ringing in his ears. He focused on the one part he had head.

"What shit?" Kirishima immediately wished he had gotten more water when he was in line. His voice sounded extremely hoarse.

"What?" Awase stopped his mumbling, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. Kirishima sighed and tried again.

"What was Monoma saying?" Awase swallowed once, breaking eye contact to stare at a plant.

"Just some crap about you flirting constantly with Bakugou because you're so... you know, affectionate and shit. It's some perverted bullshit about Class 1-A wasting time with sex and Class 1-B being more focused. He's just obnoxious, honestly, but he's mostly harmless and... he wouldn't have fucking said it if he knew, but there was some reporter behind us and she heard him before we could shut him up. You know how they're always on UA's dick, especially about your class. Kendo beat him up when she heard about it, but it's not like he could take it back and, goddamnit, I promise he's really fucking sorry. Bakugou's an explosive asshole about normal shit so I thought you'd be easier to tell. I just didn't want you guys to get completely caught off guard..." Kirishima was already running out of the cafeteria, leaving his half-eaten lunch and Japanese literature workbook on table, ignoring the concerned shouts from Kaminari, Ashido, and Sero.

___________Boy's Bathroom, 12:10 PM ____________________

Kirishima turned on the faucet and started splashing water on his face while taking in quick, shallow breaths. He could not deal with this right now. There was a test in less than half-an-hour and he really needed to at least pass it and he wasn't going to pass it if all he was thinking about was some student he barely knew asking if he was gay. He couldn't think about everyone in school finding out or the whole country finding out when he hadn't even told his parents yet. He didn't have the time to deal with this right now, not a second. He gripped either side of the sink and lifted his head to stare in the mirror. His eyes looked manic and his spikes were completely messed up from all the water. This wasn't him and this couldn't be happening right now.

Suddenly, the bathroom door slammed opened and Kaminari raced in, skidding to a stop with a shocked expression when he saw Kirishima's face in the mirror.

"Bro... you look awful..." Kirishima spun around to face his friend. Kaminari tried to grab his shoulder but Kirishima just shook him off, taking a step back while desperately trying to hold back the telltale hot pinpricks of tears in his eyes.

"Kiri, what happened? You look like you're about to start crying. Did Awase do something to upset you? Please, you're scaring me. Just talk to me." Kaminari's voice broke a bit at the end. All Kirishima wanted to do was lie and say he was fine, everything was fine, to tell Kaminari not to worry and go review for the test so they he didn't completely fail. He opened his mouth to do just that, but nothing came out other then an extremely unmanly whimper. Kaminari's face had darkened at the sound.

"He did do something. Freaking hell... I thought he was an alright guy, but apparently not. Dude, whatever it is, don't worry about it. Bakugou and I'll get him to shut... " The second Kaminari said Bakugou's name, Kirishima felt like a dam had burst and his whole face felt hot and wet. Everything was so blurry and his ears were starting to ring again. He could feel Kaminari's arms wrapping tightly around him, which was a good thing, because his legs were giving out and he didn't feel like he could stand up on his own right now.

"... he's going to hate me now..." Kirishima's voice was barely a whisper, but Kaminari heard him anyways.

"Who? Awase? That doesn't matter. If he could hate someone like you, he's just a prick... "

"Bakugou... Bakugou's going to..." Kirishima couldn't finish the sentence, he just started sobbing harder. Kaminari began rubbing his back, trying his best to soothe him.

"Yeah, Bakugou's going to try to kill him for hurting you and you're probably going to have to hold him back because god knows he'd just kill me, too, if I tried. Chin up dude, why does it matter if some random guy from a different class... wait..." Kaminari released him and Kirishima crashed onto his knees. The jolt shocked him enough that his tears stopped. He aggressively swiped at his face, staring up to meet Kaminari's horrified expression.

"... Kirishima, what the fuck?! You think Bakugou's going to hate you?!" Kirishima became inconsolable because it was too painful to hear someone else vocalize what he was feeling. Before Kaminari could say anything else, Sero and Ashido came in. Sero immediately dragged a shell-shocked Kaminari outside while whispering furiously. Ashido took over consoling Kirishima, pulling his head to rest on her shoulder and hugging him while he cried. He thought he could vaguely hear Kaminari shout something about Monoma and Ashido whispering that everything was going to be alright, but the sound of his own heartbreak soon drowns out everything else.

___________Boy's Bathroom, 1:20 PM ____________________

Eventually, he runs out of tears. He lifts his forehead off of Ashido's shoulder and, wow. He feels like he has to hold his head just so his brain doesn't fall out, it hurts so badly. He notices Ashido is offering him a small white pill and a water bottle, so he looks at her questioningly.

"Kiri, it's Tylenol. You need it." Pain relief sounds great right now, so he takes the pill and starts washing it down with small sips of water. After a few minutes, he manages to speak again, hoarsely.

"Are you ok, Ashido? Why are you carrying around pain medication?" Ashido rolls her eyes at him.

"Because I'm a girl, duh" Kirishima just blinks, not understanding. After a minute of silence, it dawns on him and he goes slightly pink.

"That... that shouldn't have taken me so long to get..." Ashido just laughs.

"It's been a rough day, so I'll give you a pass." Pass... oh no, the test. Kirishima tries to get up and immediately feels dizzy, falling back down.

"Ashido.... Ashido, the test. It's probably almost over, we need to hurry..." Ashido puts a hand on his shoulder.

"Slow down, Kiri. You're in no shape to take a test yet." Kirishima looks at her exasperatedly.

"It doesn't matter; I really can't afford to fail it and there's no way you can either. Please, let's just go." Kirishima pushes himself up a bit more slowly this time while Ashido shakes her head, standing up as well.

"Horn buddy o' mine, you put way too much pressure on yourself. But fine, this bathroom smells awful anyways." Kirishima wants to laugh at the last statement but he doesn't have the energy. They walk back to the classroom quietly to see the door shut and Aizawa standing in from it, staring them down. They both gulp, mutually wondering what painful torture Aizawa has envisioned for them after being so late. Kirishima feels awful; it's not Ashido's fault. This whole mess is his own fault and she shouldn't end up failing because of him. Kirishima opens his mouth to start arguing as much, but Aizawa holds a hand out, causing the words to die in his throat. Which may be for the best because talking is starting to really hurt his throat.

"Sero and Kaminari explained everything to me already. Ashido, go inside and start your exam. You'll get an hour. Kirishima, we'll set up a time for you to take the exam later. For now, head back to the dorms and get some rest. Bakugou will accompany you once he finishes his exam." Kirishima feels his throat close up. No, no... he literally just had a breakdown over Bakugou hating him. He wanted to see Bakugou more than anyone else right now but he couldn't, he didn't deserve to anymore, because this whole situations was completely his own fault.

"Aizawa sensei, Bakugou won't want...."

"Bakugou requested. Wait here and stop arguing."

#bakugou x kirishima #kiribaku #bakushima #fanfic #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugou katsuki #kirishima eijirou #i wrote a thing #choice fanfic

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