#Also Yeah I'm not dead

[taxinealkaloids]

girls will literally turn their parents’ corpses into meat puppets to prevent the House of their birthright from being annexed by other powers 

#my art #tlt #the locked tomb #harrowhark nonegesimus #the corpse puppets were actually the reason I instantly became obsessed with her #also i'm nearly certain people on the ninth realized p&p weren't right. as ortus said harrow isnt the only one who can add 2 and 2 and #get four!! like those guys were dead. they were for sure dead. and everyone just kinda agreed they'd pretend not to notice. #picturing some nuns sitting around like ....ok so we all know they're dead right? we know they're dead? #and the other ones are like yeah but shhhh #yes the 10 yr old is doing the budgeting now. just ignore it. #also tumblr decided to absolutely chow down on the quality of the first pic so uh it just looks like that now. crispy.

[bastardcatthings]

With the great Twitter exodus currently in motion, I thought I should just come back and stake my claim to the "long time unhinged girlie, dweller of the deep, rabid racoon stealing trash from your trashcan in the dead of night, the faceless harbinger of doom warning the little German boy of the perils of these dark corners of the world wide web etc. etc" piece of land before people start thinking I'm *shudders* normal.

#I'm kidding normies i luv u (GET FUCKED) #seriously tho twitter users are unhinged in their own way #but that way SUCKS #because tumblr unhingedness is akin to the story of tired wonderer stumbling into a cursed forest #and going oh yeah this will do #twitter unhingedness is just ... highschool bullying #anyways they shall be eaten alive #also yeah I'm not dead #just started uni #so ... functionally dead

[shevr]

workout mix

#this was fun to draw but hhghrghrgh again i spent too much on it im so bad at just making satisfying doodles fast #like i wanna draw stuff as warmup thats fun to do & also ideally looks kinda nice bc THEN i need to try to get other more serious work too #but at the moment i just spend too long on the warmup & then fail to move on to something else hhhhhh #i'll get better i'll get faster i'm not dead yet #anyway yeah she's listening to you're gonna go far kid. you know why. my little pony rainbow dash you're gonna go far kid [explicit]. #shevr #my lines #mlp

[cangrellesteponme]

wife

#yeah i'm not dead woo let's celebrate #my art #kuroshitsuji #kuroshitsuji fanart #black butler #black butler fanart #grelle sutcliff #grell sutcliff #anyway i didn't draw SHIT for a good while and when i got back to it i suddenly hated using the flat marker brush??? #it's part of what makes my signature distinctive so i used it for that but yeah i switched brushes #oddly enough i'm not hating the more textured look? it gets very pixelated at times but it's not awful #back to the signature- it felt weirdly nice to sign things again #i haven't in a while #if you're one of the very few people who also follow me on instagram you'll know i don't use it on there #and the only art i've been doing these days has been original work so yeah nothing on tumblr #and thus the words 'brain exhaustion god stan' have not been written by this comically large hand in a hot minute #enough rambling this is just grelle art because i love her and i know y'all love her too so i thought it would be a nice comeback piece

[catsharky]

I'm sobbing and clawing at the screen begging Larian to just let my Tav give more hugs because so many of these characters need it.

WIP cause this is getting colours, I just like how the lines look

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #bg3 astarion #my tav #sharky's tav #she's a tiefling bard #also surprise! I'm not dead #Baldur's Gate just has me by the throat and it's not letting me tap out until I see the end credits #there's a new tattoo on my brain next to the Mass Effect one #I'm hopefully gonna do a 'BG3 characters get the hugs they deserve' series #Astarion was obviously first because. yeah. #Rolan's likely next cause I'm fucking gone on him too love him would kill and die for him would rip the heavens and hells apart for him #If Astarion hadn't swooped in and snatched my heart first I'd be real pissed that Rolan wasn't romanceable because hhhhhh #sharky art #tav: ember #oc: ember

[average-hua-cheng-fan]

another reason i think that xie lian felt an instant connection on the ox cart is because he and hua cheng both grew up in xianle.

there are maybe 4 people still alive that grew up in that culture. based on my own experience, you can pick up on things like accent, cadence, references, and humor that suggest a person is from the same place as you without consciously noticing it. that sense of comfort and similarity probably played into their instant chemistry.

#thinking about how they are bonded together by being the only people who remember their dead culture... augh it kind of makes me want to cr #as much fighting as fengqing do they are really the only people who will EVER understand each other's childhoods #which. aughhhh #there's a lovely modern au fic by heavensturtle called ''i'm just there to admire you.'' where they talk about chinese diaspora go read it #fics that mention paradise manor being in the xianle style also make me want to bawl. especially when fxmq notice it #other people that remember xianle: qi rong. jun wu. mei nianqing. yeah. none of those people are easy to talk to #buried deep in the xianle quartets heads are things like xianxia silly bands and xianxia nickelodeon and xianxia hi chew that LITERALLY #NOBODY ELSE IN THE ENTIRE WORLD REMEMBERS. DOES THAT NOT MAKE YOU FEEL INSANE #the immortality in tgcf and how it affects memory and sense of self and relationships. ourgh #i speak #tgcf meta #tgcf #tgcf spoilers #i guess? #tian guan ci fu #tgcf books #heaven official's blessing #hob #xie lian #hua cheng #hualian #feng xin #mu qing #fengqing #xianle trio #xianle quartet

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

#squiggposting #pharma apologism #i'm sure the doylist reason for the writing is just that pharma was a designated villain #so since he's a villain and 'crazy' it's fine for everyone even the good guys to treat him like complete trash #i just think from a watsonian perspective taking a sympathetic approach is way more interesting and logically consistent #what i mean is like. from a meta perspective one of the best ways to show that a character is super evil and not worth saving #is when even the good guy heroes. the ones who are supposed to be kind and compassionate and wise. see him as dirt #and this is also kind of a necessity in most plots bc TF is the kind of series that just needs action villains and long-term antagonists #so not every villain is written or has a plot to be made redeemable. and pharma is one of these bc he's not important or a legacy character #so from a doylist (meta) perspective you could read the autobots' disregard of pharma as a sign of #'this guy is not meant to have your sympathy as a reader. pay no attention to him' #but from a watsonian (in universe) perspective it paints a miserable picture of pharma being utterly forsaken by the ppl he served alongsid #and like yeah i'm super autistic about pharma so of course i view him with sympathy but like #the idea of being a loyal and good person for years only to be subjected to a Torment Nexus of #being blackmailed into breaking all of the oaths you held sacred. under threat of you and all your comrades dying horrible torturous deaths #then when your comrades find out about it they focus solely on the 'harvesting organs' and not on the 'blackmail' part #and then you get literally left for dead by your comrades and best friend hating your guts #and then you get rescued by a guy who uses you as a test subject for his evil machine #this is a fucking nightmare scenario like pharma could hardly be suffering more if the author TRIED to make him suffer #and for me it's like. the evil pharma did can't be decontextualized to what drove him to that. as well as the question of like #how easily ppl can write someone off as evil and turn a blind eye to (or even find satisfaction in) their suffering bc theyre evil #and either brought it on themselves or it's just karma paying a visit #like. i feel like if pharma WERE a shitty doctor and a terrible person his whole life then the delphi situation would feel like karma #but the way it's written and the lore retroactively put in makes it feel more pharma getting thrown in a torture carousel #and THEN becoming evil. but then being treated as if he was always evil or was some sort of bad apple #bc like i'm not opposed to LOLing when a villain gets a karmic torture/death related to the wrongs they committed #but in pharma's case it feels less like karma and more like endless torture + being abandoned by ppl who should have been more loyal

[winepresswrath]

sudden yearning for time travelling teen jiang fengmian lands at lotus pier fic that winds up being about a perfectly nice kid having a varying series of "oh no. i don't like that. that's a lot" reactions.

#i think in order for this to be satisfying i have to give grace and interiority to teenmian #i'm picturing an older teen like 18ish? maybe even early 20s? #big crush on csr he's already pretty sure isn't going to work out #but at least he'll always have wei-xiong #anyway this is my ploy to give jfm a chance at an ugly crying meltdown #he's trying so hard to be even keeled and like #maybe take this as an evil vision designed to teach him something #but somewhere in between my crush stole my man and then they died #my whole sect burned #my grown ass son who is older than me making the vibe sooooo weird #and my grandson! child of my dead???? daughter?????? #is just like yeah he never talks about you. no never never #and then wwx blows into town and idk somehow they all end up at dinner together and jfm politely calls lqr a punk ass bitch in front of lwj #because what???? context clues suggest lqr has the fucking nerve to not like wei xiong's baby after All That #only for adult son with the weird vibes #to imply only filial piety is keeping him from naming the real #punk ass bitch #anyway this ends with jfm crying because clearly he marries yuanyuan and she HATES HIM and then his own son ALSO HATES HIM #and would rather stupid Lan-er-gongzi #be his dad. #if you like lqr so much why don't you just join the lan sect then????? #and that's how jc learns he didn't get it all from his mama #jc didn't mean it he was stressed! this isn't his dad it's an a-ling sized kid. but it's still stressful

[hwiyoungies]

wonwoo - BOOmily outing #3

#svtgifs #svtcreations #svtsource #svtdaily #fywonwoo #seventeen #wonwoo #wanna be back on my giffing bs but also thinking about giffing makes me go meh lately #i have been giffing a lot for the past 2 years so it kinda makes sense #once upon a time i would make maybe 7 sets per month #and now the most i've done was 50 i think LMAO #but yeah maybe i'm back on my bs maybe i'm not <3 #there is one more set incoming too #(part of it is 100% the lack of engagement lately because this site is alive but also so dead?) #b.edits

[wardingshout]

Family for day 6 of SpeSilverWeek! Edition uuh found biological and crime I guess...

#this was the first one I completed tbh and I'm not vibing but it was rly good warmup and tbh working lineless is so much easier... #I get lazier and messier concerning anatomy esp and stuff but I have fun... #spesilverweek #pokespe silver #pokespe blue #pokespe #my art #the thing about this is. I have so many thoughts about this one very specific rocket au where they aren't dex holders but find Giovanni #instead but he still goes missing and they still kind of hate team rocket bc the whole mask of ice thing still happened so they try to fuck #shit up from within now that giovanni is gone even though they also rly just kinda want him to return and deal with stuff himself #and the admins have these rly fun roles of all being in disagreement on what to do #like the boss might be dead his kids should take over or we Must find the boss or lol no boss my team rocket now #and then the dex holders get mixed in too and it's Fun bc everyone is fighting everyone #also sorry Giovanni for making you look like that #it's like 5min til day 6 technically but my laptop is being a butt so in case it won't turn on tomorrow here it is now #I will not wait 5min for midnight I got a new pillow for christmas and I wanna SLeep on it noW! hell yeah !! #pokemon

[ruby-red-inky-blue]

watching Liam O'Brien do a spectacular fantasy!German for dozens of episodes has impressed me so much and yet nothing could have possibly prepared me for the man starting to sing, of all the songs, "Laurentia, liebe Laurentia mein"

the immersion! if you reached to the very back of my memory there'd be like ten folk songs there and this one, which we used to have to sing at 7:00 in the morning on choir retreats while doing squats for all the weekdays, would definitely be there. it's a silly ditty you've heard somehow exclusively in childhood, it's a little game song for children. If all else was tainted by your later life that song would probably survive, it's perfect

#it's also a really dumb song that you can use to make people learn the days of the week and probably the only one he knew but still!!! #like yeah the accent work is great #he's basically dead on on everything EXCEPT 'Scheiße' which is hilarious to me #but the overall mannerisms and stuff like the song is outstanding #and yeah the bar for foreigners doing a good german is... low #the bar for actual germans getting to play people that *feel* authentically german in foreign media is also low #but even outside of that i'm just delighted with caleb #critical role #liam o'brien #caleb widogast #the mighty nein #german

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

#my art #minecraft #minecraft fanart #minecraft ancient cities #they named it the warden because they were its prisoners i will die on this hill #see fellas when i said i was brainrotting about ancient cities i meant like advanced stages of decay #Bad Syndrome: instead of a brain there is sculk #i'm still pondering additional designs for like guards/soldiers and redstone specialists etc #also yeah i was like ok time to design generic ancient city residents for outfit concepts #and bc i'm me they immediately became Characters and now it's a whole thing #their names are echo and felix and they hate each other <3 #echo was actually a temple kid like felix growing up but he fled to the outer city due to irreconcilable differences w the sculk worshippers #felix keeps trying to convince him to come back bc he was one of their most talented alchemists #they don't quite have echo's talent for magic but they make up for it in charisma and violent tendencies #neither of which have yet proved effective in convincing echo to come work for them #these days he mostly dedicates his potion skills to making life a bit more bearable for outer city residents #he got the nickname 'echo' due to his knack for inducing realistic auditory hallucinations of dead loved ones #...i TOLD you it turned into a whole thing #i also have a pet theory that ancient cities invented skeleton horses bc they needed horses but also leather and meat #but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny

[rox-of-iu]

ayoo guess who finally sat down and caught up with cultivate B)

is me. so you know what that means.

spoiler warning for cultivate ch 30-37

there was actually.... more things i wanted to draw but I already did so many I had to physically restrain myself hfsjkkdh anyway yes can you tell i love this fic very much

yet once again. cultivate by the wonderful @neonghostcat

#liushen #cultivate #cultivate: slow life on a monster infested mountain #mu qingfang #tagging him as well since theres lot of focus on him lol #and shen jiu as well u have to excuse me I love them they're meow meows #there was gonna be more sj content also but he ended up being cut in the end #wait- hdfdfhkj probably shouldnt talk about cutting something and SJ in the same sentence lmao jhfksdhfk ok bad joke sorry #anyway aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa absolutely deceased with all that has been revealed and covered in the past few chapter #actually dead wonderful powerful talented incredible showstopping never seen before #my most favourite part of cultive is its mysteries without a shadow of a doubt they're so intriguing and the reveal is ALWAYS sooo satisfyi #so the chain reaction of so many answers of the big ones tm? chefs kiss MWA #speaking of mysteries i never mentioned it before because I didn't know how to incorporate it without it being awkward but #for the longest time one particular piece of info has been rotting in my brain #and it was the off-hand comment on of the aqueduct by LQG #it is SO SILLY but THATS the one that has been just spinning in my brain FROM THEN ON ALL THE TIME it is indeed not the actually much coole #checkovs guns that have been setup nooo it was THIS hjkjsdfhksd I HAD TO KNOW where that was going AND NOW I KNOW I CAN REST EASY jsdhfkd #so yeah absolutely wonderful chapters indeed beautiful powerful #also some of you may noticed that time and time again I keep switching up the seniority between bai zhan and qian cao #and i have to formally apologize for that it is in fact not out of lack of attention to the text I'm just shdjkas #if im not mistaken qian caos position is not set in stone in canon so its free for grabs to put it in any of the free spots on the list #so i should respect neonghostcats (beloved i am so sorry) list in this case but i physically couldn't bring myself to write mqf as shidi #HSAJHS im sorry i am so biased and from doctors family i cannot put him in my head in peak seniority so low I'm sry i am legally not allowe #so lets just pretend i wrote it correctly ok sadhkas eyes closed xD #OOF th etags got long this time but im just SOOOO EXCITED WITH THIS FIC AND GOT FEELINGS OK BYE #anyway neonghostcat godspeed recovery buddy!! #also i hope using neonghostcat isnt like....calling u by your full name hdkfh but no idea to which parts i should shorten it either so hah

[seventh-fantasy]

圣人有情而无累

dihua + 情 | 莲花楼 mysterious lotus casebook

#莲花楼 #mysterious lotus casebook #asiandramasource #dailyasiandramas #cdramasource #asiandramanet #cdramagifs #cdramanet #gifshistorical #cdrama #cheng yi #dihua #lhlgifs #jielin's edits #my posts #情 sentiments (not romance or love) / 圣人有情而无累 a sage possesses feelings but is unburdened by it #sgm lxy was described to be cold and unfeeling to the extent he's likened to a ''dead person'' #not bc he was above feelings. bc clearly when he was made to face it...it went very badly #so llh ending at the point where he's so composed and at ease despite having to leave everything he cared about behind. yeah. #one would think llh would have been dead from bicha by then. but he's never been more alive tbh #very much a xianxia/cmyth narrative. by the theoretical definitions of xianxia/cmyth #it's a dihua thing to me also since it is them that evoked in one another each of their own ordeals with 情 #dfs said to lxy that 你的弱点就是喜欢当英雄. what is good pretending your motivations are so noble #bc dfs had lived his whole life for himself and only himself. he does not pretend to be more than that #and the interesting thing is when it's followed by 一个剑客不该有弱点 as if he's speaking as the 理 of wulin. #being weak is bad and it means you'll lose. that's just the rule of wulin #he is that sort of paradoxical existence... #lxy goes on to prove otherwise as llh. while existing to bring to surface the 情 in dfs #-> just know i do not know what i'm talking about anymore i just have lots of convoluted thoughts about these two im incoherent about #uhhh enjoy some nice gifs!

[ex0rin]

Callbacks that hit like a gut punch 1/???

TWD S08E08: How It's Gotta Be TWD S08E15: Worth

+BONUS

#cara gifs #carl grimes #negan smith #michonne grimes #the walking dead #twd #twdedit #hi i'm still having feelings #also yeah i dropped a lot of carls letter to save your dash

[ambrosykim]

i find it an interesting detail that this is where the thumbnail comes from, specifically the frame where he says "demonized" (from the titular song)

now i've only watched npmd once so idk if there's any like. subtext as to if max was a typical bully in how if he bullied others due to his own background or insecurities or if he was just genuinely just a terrible person, but it seems interesting that starkid chose this specific frame to go on the thumbnail (i get it he does look frightening and cool at once and it conveys the vibe of the musical)

i mean it's obvious that he's a completely deranged person (i think especially after coming back from the dead) but yeah, what i thought was interesting, was that by starkid choosing this specific frame, they're also immediately demonizing him to anyone that stumbles upon the musical, even before starting it so!!!

#npmd #starkid #nerdy prudes must die #nett rambles #um. yeah idk if this makes any sense i just noticed it and was like. WHAT #can a smarter person who's got media analysis skills and has seen npmd more times come and tell me if im making shit up #and tbh. when i watch npmd the song i switch between wow i hate him and wow he was misunderstood </3 so. :/// #ALSO!! in the song this is the part where he goes on about how he doesn't care what they did to his body #but honestly i'm not sure how truthful he's being? #(which fair he's just come back from the dead he might not wanna have a heart to heart esp with the kid that helped kill him <3)