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#Also if you are observant no youre not
vanhelsingapologist · 4 months
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Publishing has always been a fucking nightmare, but now it’s a layer of hell. It’s not enough that writers be good at what they do. Writers have to maintain an active social media presence and cultivate a following. Be available.
They have to be conventionally attractive enough to look good enough to see on a screen, aesthetically pleasing, kind, funny, up-to-date on trends, socially aware but not so controversial that they turn off a brand from California from slapping their discount code on a video promoting a book.
They have to do all of this with no media training, with little help from the companies that are supposed to be doing this for them.
Of course, a lot of this isn't possible for say, the 40-something mother of two who teaches English at a school and writes on the side. She’s boxed out of an already complex industry that already has enough walls.
On some level, I think authors have always marketed themselves a little, but we’ve reached such a crazy point where we’re demanding the author become the influencer. Accessibility in publishing has narrowed from an inch to a sliver. And that inch was hard enough to get in as is.
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beybuniki · 3 months
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How do you pick your colors? Your art style is so cohesive and i love the palettes you use!!
thank you! im a very intuitive artist, i think i draw frequently enough to know my preferences pretty well lol, but recently I’ve been enjoying working with somehow complementary colors?
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like these don't look that similar but i did use the same 4 colors or so! i like to complement yellow/orange (skin) with teal (most of the clothes lol), I think they make each other pop rlly well
i also keep my palettes very minimal, i used the same blue hues for bokuto's hair, outfit, and the pigeons, too! same with deku’s outfits and hair, it’s the same color in different hues :)
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i keep my palettes very minimal in general, i think its easier to create a somehow cohesive/harmonious palette and illustrations if you limit yourself :) as you can see, the colors I predominantly use are all hues of green and yellow, I let the overlay balance it all out and make it look less harsh I guess
also i don’t limit myself to fixed color palettes, i just use the same base color and overlay layer for most illustrations, I think those bring everything together even if I dont really know what I’m doing, i hope this helpssss
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basementxdweller · 7 days
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sadists will literally be like "i am going to cut you open and fuck your guts" and then have fluffy hair that makes them look like cute animals
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sandinmybed · 6 months
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can i be fr for a minute?? sending abuse to people online for holding different views than you is not activism and in fact actively hurts your cause. most people are not extreme in their viewpoints, you can give them a new perspective if you're willing to spend some time explaining shit. if someone is saying something you disagree with and you rush in there to condescend to them and call them disgusting and subhuman and dont even TRY to explain calmly why their views are harmful, they're going to shut you out instantly and double down on their views.
most people are simply genuinely ignorant to the issues they're talking about - they just pick their views up from the news and the world around them and express opinions because that's what every person does. if you run in there and tell them they're scum for it, what then? if someone does that to you, are you going to think "maybe i should do some research" or are you going to think "this person is an asshole, im blocking them." a lot of you think you're activists and then refuse to do any kind of actual WORK to support your cause.
#this is not about the isr*el thing even tho thats obviously a huge issue rn#its just a pattern ive observed online#im not saying you have to be kind to people who oppress you dont twist my words#but if youre trying to support any cause and you think calling people names is going to help#youre a fucking idiot lol#people call themelves activists and pro-X cause because they called their opposition dirty c*nts online#how the hell is that meant to help anyone? theyre just going to retreat into their propaganda chambers because you proved what the leaders#of those spaces have been telling them#you can obvs block people if you dont want to deal w them but thats a neutral action. sending abuse harms ur cause.#text#like educating ignorant people is hard work! yeah! its also the entire fucking point of activisim#and if you think its too much effort then just stop pretending you give a shit tbh#like my parents managed to change our neighbour's very xenophobic stance on migrants with a calm conversation#some people will listen and some wont and shes not exactly going out to protests for migrants rights but shes not hostile anymore#and a lot of yall think that isnt good enough but let me tell you it IS good because these things take time!#unlearning things is MUCH harder than learning them in the first place and a lot of people grew up in environments that taught them#very discriminatory and conservative views and its actually not their fault. and its hard to educate yourself differently on something you#have no idea is not true. where do you start w that?
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yharnamesque · 10 months
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Bloodborne Observation Notes
Back in 2018 I had a very stupid idea: what if I went through my favourite game, Bloodborne (2015) by Fromsoft, and noted down every single thing I could see? Well that’s what I started doing. Did the main game, took a several year break, came back and did the chalices. I mean it when I say this is my favourite game, it is so stupidly important to me, and I wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t
So I present to you, broken down into territories, all of my notes looking into every single detail I could come across in every single area of the game. I made these to be shared, for everyone to see and to use how they want. The only thing I ask for in return is you share them about, and give credit plus a link back if they end up influencing your own work. This is my contribution, my gift, to the community, and I hope it serves you well
The links below will go straight to the folders themselves rather than all the individual documents, but they’ll still be listed out here for easy reference as to what is where
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Progression + Foreword
Yharnam
Iosefka’s Clinic
Central Yharnam
Old Yharnam
The Hunter’s Dreams
The Hunter’s Dream
The Hunter’s Nightmare
The Cathedral Ward
The Tomb of Oedon / Oedon Chapel
The Cathedral Ward / The Grand Cathedral
The Upper Cathedral Ward
Healing Church Workshop
The Abandoned Workshop
The Altar of Despair
The Forbidden Woods
Forbidden Woods
Byrgenwerth
Cainhurst
Hemwick Forest
Hemwick Charnel Lane
Castle Cainhurst
The Unseen Village
Hypogean Gaol
Yahar’Gul
The Graveyard of the Darkbeast
The Nightmares of Yharnam
The Lecture Hall
The Nightmare Frontier
The Nightmare of Mensis / Mergo’s Loft
Pthumeru
Pthumeru
Central Pthumeru
Lower Pthumeru
Cursed and Defiled
Great Pthumeru Ihyll
Hintertomb
Hintertomb
Lower Hintertomb
Loran
Ailing Loran
Lower Loran
Isz
Great Isz
Cut Chalices
Great One Beast
Alternate Moon Presence
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tapakah0 · 5 months
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Sorry just want to rumble a little bit today and no normal thoughts Just... wanted to say... that "Mystic hands" Michelangelo is... very good I only know (I mean have read = know) a few fics about Leo getting back in time, but in this one Mikey gets back in time... I don't know why but it was stuck in my head all day When f!Leo is back, he's about to kill someone, die, later little Leo is suspicious about him, they hate each other (no, they don't, they are just stupid asses)
But god for some reason the way f!Mikey gets back, he just BLOWS everything, he's a walking bomb, that actually makes sense, he's an atom bomb due to the circumstances of his way of getting to the past and the city is lucky they weren't destroyed F!Leo can hold him expression better then Michelangelo does, and Michelangelo doesn't notice how his expression always changes, he just cries and knows that he will Little Leo is suspicious about him (as he should), but the moment he understands that he's the same Mikey, he melts. It tooks weeks for Leos, it took a day for Michelangelo (little (old) brother privileges huh) The way he just, almost blows the WHOLE island, that's exactly was stuck in my head about future Mikey The fact that he was a general, put demoted himself, he was the one discovering the way magic works with science and taught Donnie about it, just all these little mentions and details for some reason made me a bit alive today
(Also the fact that the little one krang is the most dangerous makes SO MUCH sense)
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somecunttookmyurl · 1 year
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all the while society conflates "being an adult" with "having a proper job" and "having money to make arbitrary Adult Purchases" disabled people who can't work - or can only work part time or can only do entry level baby jobs - will never be 'allowed' to be adults
you can say "being an adult is looking after yourself you don't have to have a job!!!" all you want but most people who say that will still assume anybody who doesn't either can't or won't 'look after themselves' actually. and every 'marker' of 'adulthood' that's observable and thus actually counts or whatever loops back around to... having a job and 'contributing' something
#yeah i have netflix on all day#i am quite literally signed off of work for the -rest of my life-#what the fuck else would you like me to do with my time when most people are in fact at work#or did you think i can't have the tv on and put laundry away at the same time or something#must i work on commissions on silence in a dour room to be perceived as an adult#anyway 'looking after yourself/your home/your pet' is not observable#to anybody who doesn't like ACTUALLY live in your house#unless you are extremely obviously NOT doing it#if a tree falls in a forest etc#owning a house? job. like not even 'in this economy? lol'#disabled people LITERALLY can't because we aren't allowed to have enough savings for a deposit#car? would you honestly trust me with a vehicle lol but also: job#you mostly cannot buy a car without one it's a requirement for the lease#otherwise you aren't 'trusted' to pay it on time#incidentally most landlords will also - perfectly legally - refuse to rent to you because you are going to be unreliable with the rent#which is being paid directly by the gov anyway like take your trust issues up with them bro#a family? if i get married or cohabit with a partner my income gets sliced in half#so to support even myself let alone a child would require. drumroll please. employment#savings? adults have savings right? yeah but unlike you i have a gov enforced cap on mine#'good furniture not shit from ikea' (someone has remarked that ikea furniture is 'college dorm-y' it's going here)#i mean do i have to say it
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mamawasatesttube · 5 months
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impressive. just looked at the timkon tag on ao3 and not one fic on the front page today is actually about timkon.
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boyfridged · 1 year
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You may have already mentioned this in some of your other metas, and I just missed it, so please ignore this if it's redundant.
Do you think Bruce is projecting onto Jason by pushing him as a Robin? Obviously, Jason wanted to be Robin and was excited about it, and Bruce let Jason do other things, but (if I'm not mistaken) before Tim came into play, solidifying the whole Batman needs a Robin/support to keep him upright, Bruce and Dick becoming Batman and Robin, in the beginning, was also sort of a coping mechanism.
I think there are a few examples of Bruce enabling this kind of mindset. Like in Gotham Knights #43–44 (sorry), every time Barbara brings up Jason's inner turmoil, Bruce refocuses on his ability as a Robin; similarly, when Jason finds out about Two-Face and his dad, he is hurt, and Bruce acknowledges that but then does the same thing, zeroing in on reassuring Jason that he made a mistake but is still a good Robin.
Like, Jason got it from Bruce, but he unintentionally encouraged that kind of thinking.
oh, i definitely think that bruce is projecting on jason and that it profoundly affected jay. and, while every single one of your observations is apt, i would add that what truly made it so tragic is that he projected his own worst traits on jason while being blind to the fact that jay already shared his best qualities.
tldr: bruce projects himself on jason in terms of grief (saying that jason needs vigilantism to work his grief through) and sees his own worst traits in jason (anger) but doesn't see his own best traits in jay (compassion, love, and sensitivity). ironically, jason does end up developing all of the (projected) worst characteristics of bruce (obsessiveness, and relentlessness in pursuit of the respective perceived idea of justice). this happens even though they were barely present in his early storylines, and only ever manifested when jason was scared or lost. later, they truly came to be because of his trauma relating to vigilantism.
and the long, long version, coming with panels and quotes: under the cut.
first i want to say that the following analysis focuses very specifically on bruce's mistakes, but i don't view the overall of jay's upbringing by bruce solely in these terms. from text it is also clear that bruce deeply loves and cares about jay, and that jay enjoys being robin. now that this is clear, let's get to particularities, and start with jay's origin story.
i truly never stop thinking about the significance of bruce meeting jay in the crime alley, the place of his parents' death. there's a lot to be said about it, but here the focus is, of course, on the fact that he sees a little boy, very much similar to himself, angry and hurt, in the same scenery that brought him so much grief. and jay in some ways does appear to be a mirror of bruce's own agonies, as well as a mirror of his own inclination for seeking justice; and somehow, bruce fixates on the first one, while almost completely dismissing the latter.
bruce looks at him and assumes that the remedy to jason's pain and anger is being robin; and he doesn't stop to think about it. (it has to be noted that there's also classism at play, classism that is mostly a result of writers' own beliefs – collins did state in a couple of interviews that that the motivation behind jason's background was to make his introduction into vigilantism seem less offensive, as jason has already been exposed to crime...)
i think, in this context, it's interesting to look at the two-face storyline even closer, and from the start too. in the beginning, bruce talks of jason's 'street' roots and assumes jay would go "down the same criminal road that took his father [willis] to an early death." he also talks of jason making a lot of progress. later, in batman #411, after jason learns that willis has been killed by two-face, bruce comments that jay "has never been like this...listless...almost pouting--"
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this all, along with jay's cheerful and diligent behaviour from the previous issue builds an interesting picture for us: because we essentially learn that jay has been overall an unproblematic child. bruce, of course, attributes this "progress" to the training. however, for anyone else, the logical conclusion would be that jay's quick adjustment was simply a matter of finding himself in a safe and stable environment and receiving continuous support and attention from a parental figure. i find it rather questionable that jason's personality softened down because he had something to punch in the cave–– the more intuitive explanation is of course that he was angry and quick to fight when they first met because he couldn't afford anything else and because he was scared. but months later, in a loving home, he can allow himself to drop his guard; and his cocky attitude disappears until much later.
so the rather unsettling picture that we derive is that bruce is training jay to become a vigilante in order to "channel" his (nonvisible at this point) anger into something useful and just. and he clearly links this to his own trauma in batman #416 (that’s already starlin btw), in his conversation with dick, explaining why he took jay in: “he’s so full of anger and frustration… he reminds me of myself, just after my parents were killed.” bruce also mentions that soon after their first meeting, jason helped him and "handled himself well" in the fight, but he doesn't mention that jay has ran away from a crime "school" and intended to stop injustice on his own only because he was ignored.
the theme of bruce comparing jay to himself appears again in detective comics #574 (barr), where it is approached with a much more... critical look, thanks to leslie's presence and her skepticism of bruce's actions. after jason has suffered nearly fatal injuries at the hand of the mad hatter, bruce reminisces on his own trauma and motives. he tells leslie: "i didn't choose jason for my work. he was chosen by it...as i was chosen." leslie replies: "stop that! (...) you do this for yourself... you're still that little boy (...)" then, the conversation steers to the familiar ground and the topic of anger. in bruce's words, again: “i wanted to give jason an outlet for his rage…wanted him to expunge his anger and get on with his life…” and finishes "and instead, i may have killed him."
the recognition that bruce's projection on jason and involving him with his work might have fatal consequences is, as always, fast forgotten once jay wakes up and proclaims that he wants to continue his work as robin.
but to circle back, i think there's something else worth our attention, something deeply ironic, that is showcased in that issue: that bruce has no evidence for jay's "rage." when leslie talks of bruce's past, she recalls his tendencies to get into brutal fights at perceived injustice as early as in school; when bruce talks of jason, two pictures that are juxtaposed, are that of jason fighting as robin and jason... smiling, playing baseball.
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so, in the early days of jason's training and work in the field, we see bruce talking of jason's anger a lot; but we barely see it.
that being said, jay is angry sometimes– and i think your observation about how bruce deals with it is incredibly interesting and accurate.
we first see jay truly and devastatingly angry in the two-face storyline. bruce focuses on jay's reaction as robin, which is, in fact, aggressive. but something that he barely addresses is that jason's first reaction is sleeping all day, and not beating anyone to a pulp; in fact, this vengeful instinct seems to arise only when he is put right in front of two-face. and his third instinct, once the rage (very quickly) dies down after the altercation with two-face, is crying, because bruce hid the truth about willis' death from him. jay, while crying, asks bruce: "you have taken me out into combat-- but you spare me this?" in response, bruce lectures jason about how grief inspires revenge, which is, again, deeply ironic, given that jay seeking out revenge seemed to be prompted and enabled solely by the role of robin. moreover, his question suggests that at this point he saw grief ("you spare me this") and fighting as two different things.
the final is, as you said, bruce focusing on making it into a lesson on vigilantism, or, in his own words, "tempering revenge into justice." personally, i think in this way bruce directs jason to bring his grief into the field as a powering force, something that he didn't necessarily have an own incentive to do. the flash of compartmentalisation between his ordinary life and being a sidekick that jay has shown by questioning bruce's decision is lost. emotions are now a robin thing, and they have an (informal) protocol, a moral code. and when jay is confronted with an emotionally exhausting case next – the garzonas case, i believe that the focus on "tempering revenge into justice" is exactly the problem– we don't see jay crying, we see him frantic about finding the solution. this, right there, is bruce's obsessiveness, that in my opinion, was developed in jay specifically as a result of how his engagement with vigilantism combines with his deep sensitivity.
and, needless to say, his sensitivity is all the same as that of bruce – they both can't stand looking at other people hurting, they both wear their hearts on their sleeve, caring way too much – the thing is, bruce never quite acknowledges how they are similar in this matter. instead, he focuses on his sparse bursts of anger, wanting to bring jason closure in his grief the only way he knows it – in a fight for a better world. so, as you said, he focuses on jason's ability as robin.
which just doesn't work for jason. at all. we know it from how his robin run comes to an end: in the first issue of a death in the family (batman #426) alfred informs: “i’ve come upon him, several times, looking at that battered old photograph of his mother and father, crying.”  to that, bruce contends: “in other words, i may have started jason as robin before he had a chance to come to grips with his parents deaths.” he also tells jay that the field is not a place for someone who is hurting; a message that is the opposite of what he's been saying for years now, and something that i imagine was difficult for bruce to conceptualise, because then he would have to question his own unhealthy tendencies. it's a bit late to come to this realisation; bruce's self-projection that caused him to worry so much about jay's anger has already turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy that will fully manifest itself in utrh, when jason does the only thing he was taught to do with grief: try to channel it into justice.
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moregraceful · 3 months
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folks tonight we discovered what hitting my breaking point looks like and it is: impulse three day vacation in palm desert for ahl hockey in february by myself. does anyone have any recommendations for stuff to do in coachella valley?? like restaurants or hikes or museums or anything. i don't drink and i love museums and i will have a car and my only two commitments are evening hockey games. i should probably buy my lesbian parents alcohol, snacks, and/or spices for looking after my dog and i would like to buy local. also love a local ice cream shop or creamery. literally any recs you have would be great!! no recommendation too great or too small!!
(also podcast recs that aren't true crime or horror since i have two 7+ hour drives and if i listen to my sports podcasts the entire time i will become a worse version of myself than we started with, which is already bad lmfao)
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ruby-red-inky-blue · 11 days
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a couple of years back i was pretty vocal about not getting when people complained about their art not getting "enough" notes. but i'm getting to recognise a sub-category of that frustration these days that, in fairness, was maybe what people were talking about all along? but i've also seen other posts mention how fandom spaces feel changed since the last few years, so maybe it's a new thing or at least a thing that hadn't reached my fandom corner until now.
i truly don't mind if my writing doesn't garner a lot of attention (although i say this from a place of priviledge where my writing has so far always garnered some attention, and often a lot more than i anticipated). but what is really starting to grate a little is the amount of attention vs. the amount of reaction. For example, before the latest update on my big multichapter fic, it sat at ~ 33,050 hits. since then the fic has been clicked 400 times. the kudos count went up by maybe three and there were three new bookmarks - this isn't super surprising because i don't expect to be reaching a lot of new people with an unfinished 100+k word fic in a dwindling fandom, and if they're return readers they can't leave new kudos. but five people have commented on the fic since the update. One percent of readers who have clicked on this fic have reacted. Did all these people see it on the recently updated feed, started to read it, didn't vibe with it and moved on? That honestly wouldn't bother me. But it's been steadily gaining attention for the last few weeks, long after it moved off the first page of the recently updated view for the fandom. so rather, I think it's mostly subscribed users (the fic has a little over 400 active subscriptions so that would make sense) or people actively checking back on the fic. in which case they must be at least somewhat invested in it.
and again, i'm not owed any feedback. i put my work out for free and people decide what to do with that. but fandom is a collaborative space, and it's been feeling like less that for a while. people seem less ready for conversation, and i think that's sad, and quite demoralising for creatives (at least for me personally). fandom work isn't meant as bingeable content that you consume and then leave. if you do that on netflix, that's fine, because you're paying the platform and they're at least supposed to recompense the creatives who made the show you just watched. fandom artists don't get that. we make things for the love of it, and because we wanted to share that love. it doesn't feel like sharing though when you put something out there and nothing comes back. it feels like standing in an empty warehouse telling my stories to nobody. and, again, i'm personally lucky enough that it's not like that all the time, but i get why people stop doing it. and i get that engaging with art as an audience member doesn't come easy to everyone, but fandom culture needs it. it's supposed to be an exchange. it's supposed to go both ways, and i think if you want to sustain the culture, you simply need to try and give something back, whatever that is.
because putting something you made out there and nobody looks at it is definitely not a great feeling, but having anonymous masses file by and look at your thing and then meet you with deafening silence feels... worse.
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beybuniki · 3 months
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one thing i noticed (form personal experience and by observing other artists) is that the longer you draw and create, the more boring it gets to simply replicate references, especially when it comes to characers' fashion choices.
with bnha, i keep mine pretty simple and basic because teens ARE very trend-loyal, but mainly im just lazy lol, but when i AM motivated, i love to think about characters' personal style, what could influence them, but also more trivial things such as budget into account, which is why i love to draw Deku in basic tees or clothes provided by his school (while bakugo gets to wear ed hardy and shoto wears arcteryx). i also love to limit the items like its just more realistic to me when someone as ordinary as deku wears the same 5 crewnecks all the time
which brings me to my actual point, namely that the more frequently you draw, the more you learn to do research andto combine your findings into sth new rather than staying faithful to one reference, and i think that's what makes good art so good, being able to draw inspiratioin from all kinds of niches and creating something that feels very authentic and suspends the spectator's disbelief. sometimes i see art and i know exactly which fashion editorial or which kpop idol was referenced, and I'm not insinuating these are bad things i do that too (less frequently now but i sure did!), my point is it's kind of nice to see how ALL artist start out with rather derivative art but eventually move on to create more authentic art that is less about drawing beautiful and perfect people and more about trying to individualize them and that ALSO means giving them weird clothes, scars, asymmetric eyes, a receding hairline etc. like drawing the same beautiful character 200 times gets so boring and it's just more fun to try and make them a bit more human
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gloriousmonsters · 2 months
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kidnapped onto the vees thought train again and reflecting on Carmilla's little scowl-sneer when she asks Velvette if 'your...... colleagues will be joining us' at the meeting. To be fair, it could just be the fact of who her 'colleagues' are, but considering her connection with Zestial I can't help but imagine it as 'I support TRADITIONAL Overlord relationships, i.e respectful friendships where you only talk about your feelings on very private occasions and give each other emotional looks from the distance of a room. you all live in an OT3-branded tower and i was forced to see you CUDDLING one of your business partners on a billboard advertisement earlier. my god don't you have any sense of decency'
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ohgaylor · 10 months
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anyway, thinking about the deliberate pause in “sometimes I wish I was… her”
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piedoesnotequalpi · 3 months
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Despite my best efforts, I have to name another character
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khaothanawat · 1 year
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My School President wants to subvert your expectations
(or: if you're not watching this show, you're missing out on something wonderful)
...so. I am supposed to work today, but I don't wanna and also i rewatched all four episodes of My School President last night and if I don't let out as many feelings as possible about it I might explode because I am unhinged.
so I wrote a 4,700+ word essay i'm so sorry oh my god I spent hours writing this good lord
episode 1 / the introduction
episode 1 plays out mostly as a traditional high school series might. we have gun, who is not the greatest student, but who loves music and, even more than that, loves music club - which revolves around his friends and the band they’re in. it is, as we’ll learn a few episodes down the line, his “safe zone”, and the one place in school where he’s found love and acceptance.
we also have tinn, who is the son of the incredibly strict principal and who himself is a fantastic student, good looking, admired by all the other students. he gets voted in as school president, and thus has complete control over the fate of all the school clubs - including, of course, the principal’s least favourite club (on account of how its members keep failing their classes and almost burning down the school), the music club.
the dynamic between tinn and gun is familiar to us - it’s a rivalry, with one side being very charming if a little ridiculous and the other being a traditional tsundere-type character - stern and not particularly forthcoming or unforgiving at first glance. we see little hints though, very early on, that tinn, despite his exterior, gets drawn into gunn’s music.
the end of episode 1 is our first real insight that not everything is going to go quite as expected - thanks so a slow reveal that tinn has doodled a little picture of gun singing, and written next to it the words “you’re cute. so damn cute. cuter than anyone in the world.”
it’s a well-used trope in BL romances to have the handsome, tsundere character be secretly a MASSIVE SIMP for his love interest. we’ve seen this in previous GMMTV shows, with a mid-series reveal that the tsundere has been wildly in love and putting up a ridiculous front the entire time. What MSP is turning on its head is not the fact that Tinn has feelings, but the decision to reveal it in episode 1. the traditional mid-series reveal allows romantic tension to develop in the story, the will-they-won’t-they of each moment existing because we don’t know for certain that the tsundere character has feelings. the reveal is usually used after the first kiss, when the tension is no longer needed by the narrative.
MSP deciding to remove that tension entirely completely changes the way they need to build the romance between tinn and gun, as well as subverting our own expectations around what we’re watching. tinn is no longer cool and detached and stern - he’s awkward and adorable and… completely insane, honestly, he’s just absolutely unhinged. he does not know what he’s doing and has somehow boxed himself into pretending to be a tsundere in his secret quest to help gun save the music club.
now, the tension in the story is whether tinn can get gun to stop hating him - and if, how and when gun will develop feelings for tinn.
(yeah yeah yeah yes, we the viewers know that they’ll end up together, but that’s beside the point)
I can't believe this got so out of hand that I need to use a cut - let's kEEP GOING I GUESS
episode 2 / in which we are made aware that all is truly not what it seems
episode 2 introduces us to another trope - the “secret correspondant” trope. only, of course, it’s not a secret here. we see tinn posing as ‘nong lion’ and messaging the music club to try and help them with their problem (and side note - MSP has the same structure as Bad Buddy, wherein episodes are self-contained stories; an obstacle appears and is resolved in the same episode). in fact, the show turns the trope on its head even further by having gun almost immediately suspect tinn, only to get conveniently thrown off the scent by tinn’s bestie for the restie, and the owner of the sole braincell on the show, tiw. and even beyond that, tinn does a terrible job at hiding the fact that he’s ‘nong lion’, but the show just mines this for comedy, because a huge running line in the show is that the members of the music club are, bless them, absolute dummies.
even so, the episode culminates in tinn openly helping gun in-person (on a stage in front of a bunch of other people, no less!!) and then openly vowing to help the music club win the hot wave contest.
which isn’t a super selfless move - tinn is told earlier that evening by an old music club alumni that music club members can’t date unless they win the hot wave contest. of course, one of the very first things we learn about the music club in the show is that it’s former leader lost the hot wave contest because of his girlfriend, so it seems possible that maybe that rule doesn’t actually exist anymore. but that’s for a later time.
episode 3 / remember episode 2? lets do that again but MORE
episode 3 of my school president takes the concept of subverting expectations and turns it into a whole-ass episode (and it’s perfect).
episode 3 opens with tinn going on another adorable little meltdown about how cute gun is, only for gun to be standing right there listening. another trope again, but this time - i have to wonder whether gun realises what has happened. the narrative has told us over and over that he’s sort of a dummy - the remainder of episode 3 revolves heavily around this, in fact. but he did suspect tinn of being nong lion in episode 2, he’s not always completely obtuse, and he explicitly asks tinn who he was talking about, before waving away the conversation entirely because he has more important hot wave-related things to discuss. this is one of the many instances we see of tinn conflating his own fantasies with reality - something that will become infinitely more prevalent this episode.
speaking of: tinn has to tutor gun. we see them sitting at a table and tinn has somehow made calculus sexy by drawing a heart with equations. they move closer, almost kiss and then- it is, of course, just a figment of tinn’s wild imagination. in reality, he’s yelling at gun for being a gay who can’t math. this is the first time the show tells us to be on our guard in this episode, because tinn’s little mind is going wild and not everything we see will be real.
eventually, tiw suggests they (tinn and gun) move in to his sibling’s apartment for a week to study because tiw is a romantic mastermind, and then, when tinn panics because he does not know how to be a normal person around gun, tiw suggests tinn recreate classic BL tropes with gun. like in bad buddy, tiw says. tiw played by mark pakin, who was in bad buddy. tiw who says that his favourite actor in bad buddy is mark pakin. i’ve gotten off track a little. except i HAVEN’T because -
ok, MSP is written by the same writers as Bad Buddy and directed by one of the assistant directors of Bad Buddy (and 1000 Stars), director au. this is au’s first full director role, but he’s obviously been working closely with backbone of GMMTV aof and aof appears a number of times in the MSP special episode to discuss the process of making the show, which would maybe indicate he had a decent hand in the show - or at the very least, has had a hand in helping au develop his own skills (and to be clear, au worked as part of the writing team for years before this, so he’s not new to the business by any means) (not me speculating on aof’s own staff career growth plans loool). i think it’s not a stretch to say that MSP has a very BB feel to it, and i’m so endlessly impressed that it has managed to maintain that so far whilst also forging its own identity as a show. it doesn’t feel like a carbon copy, or a poor imitation - it feels very much like it’s telling it’s own story, but it’s using a something that BB used super successfully to do so, which is the subversion of tropes. MSP goes one step further with that though, and uses it differently (helped by the fact that because BB is set in college and MSP is in high school, the tropes are naturally a lot less… well. horny.)
MY POINT BEING that that Bad Buddy call out was deliberate. they didn’t use the show just bc they had mark pakin saying the line - i think it’s likely that they felt it necessary to add in mark’s line 4th wall breaking line about himself because it was his character making the reference, but they want us to know what they’re doing. they’re referencing Bad Buddy because this show is, in a way, a spiritual successor to BB - it likely wouldn’t exist as it does if BB didn’t already exist (and wasn’t a huge hit). in the very next scene, we get a reference to the band scrubb, which is a huge 2gether reference - and, looping this all back to the creative team, au was a screenwriter for Still 2gether and aof created/directed Still 2gether. tinn’s character is a direct play on sarawat in 2gether - he is, in so many ways, sarawat, but the narrative is using him in a different way.
oh my god i legit wanted to write a one sentence post about this show how did i get here
OK GETTING BACK TO EPISODE 3 oh my god
episode 3 shows us over and over that tinn creates these vivid fantasies about being in classic romantic scenarios with gun that he then tries to turn into reality, pet tiw’s instruction - only for the reality to be a lot less romantic. in his one actual, real-life chance to get close to gun (the ballroom dance) where he’s not just trying to recreate something from a BL series, he gets so overwhelmed and nervous that he can’t dance at all, which we’re told through the loud and quick sound of his heartbeat.
and then, part way through the episode, the show starts bait-and-switching us.
first: tinn sees gun with food on his lip and fantasises about brushing it away with his thumb (an absolute romance series staple). gun licks it away before tinn can do any of that, because of course he does - but then tinn gets food on his lips and gun reaches over to brush it away. finally, tinn has ended up in a romance series moment with gun, only it wasn’t one of his own deliberate creation. it just happened.
second: tinn and gun talk at the swimming pool about themselves - finally. they’ve been living together for a week, but we don’t see them often having conversations about who they are. gun talks about seeing the music club as his ‘safe zone’. tinn explains why he became school president (to support people’s dreams). gun tells him that that’s such a handsome answer, then asks “have you used that line to hit on anyone?” tinn replies: “you.” we expect by now that it’s another fantasy moment, because we’ve been duped by the show with these moments multiple times by now, but once again the show twists things. the moment is real, tinn really says “you” and it hangs between them for a moment before he quickly changes the subject. but it’s the clearest declaration either of them have made. we don’t know what gun is feeling by this stage, however we do know that gun is in fact the one who gave them a Classic Romance Moment of brushing away food. it’s the show telling us that, whether he realises it yet or not, he’s in this too.
the third bait and switch is the Big One, except it’s not at all: we reach the ballroom dance midterm and tinn is trying to get out of dancing altogether - he still isn’t sure he can do it, he still feels overwhelmed when he tries to dance with gun, his heart races too hard and fast. gun refuses to listen to him and makes him get up. he tells tinn to close his eyes and says “let me help you”. tinn closes his eyes and suddenly the sports hall fades away - he and gun are in beautiful suits, they’re in the music club room (gun’s safe zone!), gun’s band chinzilla is playing and he and gun are dancing. throughout the episode we’ve heard tiny portions of the melody of the ballroom dance song, but now finally we hear the whole song, performed by chinzilla. as they dance together, the scene flashes between the fantasy dance, their practice dance by the pool and crucially, the actual dance that’s happening in the sports hall. as the dance comes to an end, we realise that even though we saw it happen in tinn’s fantasy, it was happening in real life too. the way they danced in tinn’s fantasy was how they really danced - staring into one another’s eyes, smiling at each other, looking completely lost in the moment. gun said “let me help you” and entered tinn’s fantasy with him. gun said “let me help you” and he’s telling us, the viewers, that tinn isn’t going to make this romance happen alone (even with the help of tiw). tinn can’t create romance moments when gun isn’t on the same page.
the final bait and switch happens in a series of parts: prior to the ballroom dance midterm, on the night after they go swimming, gun makes tinn share the bed (rather than the Bad Buddy reference sleeping arrangement they’ve been doing all week). tinn, because he’s a lunatic, asks if he can stare into gun’s eyes and gun obliges. after a moment, we hear the heartbeats again - but it’s gun that looks away and decides to go to sleep.
the episode ends, after the ballroom dance, with gun and tinn having a small moment together outside the school. gun tries to give tinn back the pencil case he borrowed earlier, because he of course does not own a pencil case. it’s one that says “i think about you” on it that gun has, obviously, doodled all over. specifically, he has drawn a cute little monster and written the name ‘tinn’ with a bunch of arrows pointed at it. you think about who now, gun? anyway, tinn tells gun to keep it, because what high school student doesn’t have a pencil case oh my god gun - and they hold hands over the pencil case for a moment. until the tinn’s mother the principal comes out of her office and tinn very gently drops gun’s hands. that’s not relevant to this, i just think it’s Big Foreshadowing. anyway. tinn leaves with his mother and gun is left standing there, staring after him. and once again, we hear the heartbeats. they’re gun’s, because of course they are. we get a flashback to the night before, to tinn staring into gun’s eyes and looking away, and we know for certain that that was gun’s heartbeat and not tinn’s, and that it’s happening again now. bait and switch - tinn’s heartbeats followed us through the whole episode, only for us to end on gun’s heartbeat, and a confirmation that yes, he’s feeling it all too.
again, the show is revealing things early. no longer do we have the tension of whether gun feels something too - now we have the tension of whether gun is going to do anything about it, or acknowledge it at all.
we're only up to episode 4 by now, and I wouldn't say that episode 4 turned much on its head that hadn't already been set up before, but I do think it serves as a way to start building up a number of new plot points, so I'm going to talk about that a little, just so that I can revisit this later once more episodes have aired.
episode 4 / resetting expectations (...sort of?)
episode 4 of my school president introduces us to a new character: tinn's original rival, sound, who joins the music club (because of course tinn has a rival).
I think it's actually really key to point out a tiny scene that happens at the beginning of episode 4, as the show is starting to lay out the plots for the episode. gun and the band are looking for a solo guitarist (hence the eventual introduction of sound). he puts posters up on a notice board. tinn comes along and, because he's a dweeb, mentions that people need permission from the school council to put up posters. gun sighs and obediently starts to take the posters down, before tinn dives in and says that he'll let gun put them up anyway, he'll make a 'special exception'. real smooth, kid.
anyway, this fascinates me, because it's such a good display of how much their relationship has changed by this point. tinn and gun have had a surprising number of scenes together in front of this notice board - mostly with gun fighting back against tinn trying to enforce the school rules as school council president. here we see gun not fight, but immediately give into tinn instead (even though tinn had no desire to win, he's just got so little game oh my god this boy has NO GAME i'm obsessed with him). gun looks thrilled when tinn lets him put up the posters anyway - he respects tinn's word enough now that he wasn't going to fight, which is so the opposite of the gun we've seen so far. it's just a really interesting story beat to throw in.
they have a little moment again (in real life) (initiated by tinn) and gun's heartbeats from episode 3 appear once more, reminding us that gun is also Feeling Things. gun runs away in a flustered panic.
(tinn, it must be said, genuinely has no idea what's going on in gun's head. because tinn is a dummy.)
from here, the dual plot lines of the episode play out pretty traditionally. story A sees gun quit the music club and tinn take the opportunity to get closer to him now that he's not beholden to the no-dating-before-hot-wave rule that definitely still exists. they do get closer. in fact, they go on an accidental date, flirt heavily over some imaginary cake, and tinn finds a position for gun in the student council that would allow him to sing and play music, story B sees sound take over the music club, who are unfocused and not actually using their practice sessions to practice, only to be a tiny teen tyrant about it. the band beg gun to come back. gun feels as though the band will have a better chance to win hot wave without him. tinn sees this happen and convinces gun to go back to the music club, because that's clearly where his happiness lies. even if gun being in the music club will inevitably put the absolutely real and very much something gun definitely is aware of no-dating-before-hot-wave rule back into play.
gun rejoins the music club, but lets sound stay (sound, to be clear, mostly joined because he thought it would piss off tinn, but we start getting the indication by the end that he could also maybe find friendship and support in the club, just as the others did). they have their traditional bbq pork meal together to celebrate being back together. it's sacred.
so, it's all fairly cut and dry - and we as viewers probably already knew where these plots were heading and that the main issues would be resolved in this episode, thanks to the self-contained episode structure of the show.
until we see gun grab a bunch of the pork and run off, away from the bbq, yelling that he'll be back soon. he goes, of course, to tinn. he, quite crucially, claims that the group have finished eating and that there was some food left over and he just wondered whether tinn might want it - once again, we as viewers know this is a lie, and are left in possession in much more knowledge than the characters in the scene. gun is making up an excuse to bring tinn food, and to hang out with tinn. if the question this episode was 'gun is having feelings for tinn; what will he do with them?', then we saw moments over the course of the entire episode that answered that. gun, unlike tinn, has apparently an abundance of game (if anything he's a little too dangerous, frankly). he jumps both feet forward into flirting with tinn, and manages to conveniently set up scenarios in which he can do that - successfully, unlike tinn in episode 3. where he's a little more in control, we don't get a return of the panicked heartbeats from the beginning of the episode.
maybe tinn had put this flirting all episode down to the fact that gun was no longer in the music club. it's not really made clear. however, now gun is back in the club, and he's abandoned the sacred bbq pork time to have a nivea micellar moment with tinn (once again, gun successfully initiating a BL romantic moment in real life, because gun is the only one here with game). he gets tinn to take a photo of them together, and so they stand pressed shoulder to shoulder, hands touching. they're smiling at each other, and the camera jumps back and forth between the way they're looking at one another and their hands. tinn, probably emboldened by how much gun has put himself out there across the entire episode, starts to move his pinky finger closer. his hand is shaking, but we see them over and over barely looking at the camera because they're too busy smiling sweetly at each other, as tinn's finger twitches closer and closer - the slowest build up in the world, as we wonder whether he'll get the guts to do it. and then finally, finally, tinn loops his pinky around gun's, and gun responds in kind, and we see a shot of them taking the photo, they're fingers out of shot but entwined.
this is almost par for the course by now - how quickly this show has put tinn and gun on a playing field of both having feelings for the other, and both being at least somewhat aware that those feelings could be reciprocated.
episode 5 and beyond / is this show impossible to predict?
it's not really something we get to see too often, the very cautious build into something more. the next episode preview doesn't really tell us anything about how that develops (but rather that gun has a lot of other stuff going on, apparently). i think this becomes it's own question - now that MSP have turned the traditional BL pacing on its head (akin to the way Bad Buddy did it before), what do they do next. with BB, we very quickly saw that the obstacles between the lead characters were almost entirely external - it's the basis of the entire show. they couldn't be together because no one wanted them to be. it made the pacing of the romance make complete sense.
with MSP, we're going in much more blindly. the boys are already on a similar page and there's no obvious obstacles between them outside of the definitely very real no-dating-before-hot-wave rule that no one in the present day music club has even spoken about or mentioned (yet?). what this suggests to me, and why this is so fascinating, is that we therefore don't necessarily know the basic conceit of the plot from here on out.
yes, we want to see how tinn and gun ultimately admit their feelings for one another, but at episode 4 of 12, the show has already done most of the work in getting them there. inevitably, we need to be faced with obstacles and there have been a small number of hints, maybe, at the things that could go wrong for them, but it's fascinating because those hints have been very sparse.
there's the perceived rivalry of the music club and the school council - which tinn has accidentally perpetuated a bunch of times, because he's a dummy. episode 4 reminds us conveniently that this is still seen to exist outside of tinn and gun's gay little bubble, when we see the two random students discussing it in the hall (this is of course also how sound ends up joining the club). it's not a particularly violent rivalry though - we're not at Bad Buddy drop kick into the chest two seconds away from breaking out into a sharks and jets style dance number. i wouldn't say it's rife for conflict, but that's sort of the thing: it's almost impossible to predict at this point what will happen. we know that chinzilla will probably perform at hot wave, and at some point tinn and gun will probably kiss. beyond that? it's anyone's guess.
another obvious obstacle that has been (honestly quite lightly) is the principal - we are literally introduced to tinn's pov in episode 2 by the concept of his mother coming in between him and gun, when he dreams about gun turning into her. he's lied to her a number of times in the name of helping gun. her character is generally quite fascinating, because she's a near-constant antagonistic presence, but it's clear she has huge amounts of love and care for her son, and she's trying to do her best by her students. she's also really frugal though - in episode 2 we learn that she and her husband would argue because she felt that music was an unnecessarily expensive hobby. a real subtle moment that i'm sure won't come back in any fashion later down the line...
the other obvious one is of course the no-dating-before-hot-wave rule which, sure, might be real, but might even become an issue in some form or another even if it's not. the reason the music club lost hot wave the year before, as we know, was because the last leader was distracted on stage by his girlfriend. this is how we meet the music club in episode 1, and we see gun vowing to win hot wave next year, because he knows it's what will save the music club.
it seems as though episode 5 is about to introduce new conflicts too, or expand upon things that have really only been very barely hinted at. but, if I know anything it's that promos are unreliable, so only time will tell how that plays ou.
it's important though, in my opinion, that the show really hasn't hit us over the head with anything here yet (except the very real very current day hot wave rule that very much definitely exists - and even then, it has only been mentioned a handful of times at most between tinn and tiw, usually as an occasional reminder to the audience more than a constant driving force for tinn's actions). these are obstacles, but they ultimately haven't been shown to cause too much issue to tinn and gun's story - or at least, tinn and gun have successfully navigated everything with almost no pushback, hence the fact that they're both sailing through their own romantic storyline at a pace faster than an olympic runner.
there's not really an ending to this post yet, because we're only at episode 4. I'm not particularly committed to any theory about where this could go (except the one about the hot wave rule being real YOU CAN'T CONVINCE ME IT'S REAL AU), but from a storytelling perspective alone: this show needs a conflict. the assumption it gave us and then systematically tore apart across the first four episodes was that the conflict would be around tinn and gun realising their own feelings for one another, because that's how these shows go. that's not the central conflict in MSP. the central conflict is... uh... one of these other things. or maybe a secret different thing. i don't know. come back to me in like 6 weeks.
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