#Also it's ableist to say that relating to a character means you need therapy

[uselessheretic]

You know, the other thing about the whole Anger Discourse that infuriates me is that it reeks of ableist rhetoric. It's just the other, faux-progressive side of "xyz mental health issue is fake actually" because the outcome is the same-- they're denying the existence of a condition that could use some support. Like, as disabled queer living in a rural area who grew up in an abusive household, I "reasonably" have depression and issues with emotional regulation. You could probably trace back my every negative action to some trauma from my environment, and you could probably see an internal logic to everything I do because of course you could. Everyone has an internal logic that they follow most of the time. Even mentally ill people when they're being mentally ill. It's absolutely absurd to think "Oh, you can't have problems with emotional regulation because your actions make sense when I think about them and factor in your history! Everybody knows people with real problems are completely irrational and have no possible other reason to act how they do beyond Mental Illness!" Like, at that point it comes off as trying to say "you can't have a problem! You're not crazy, after all! You're too understandable and relatable!"

And it's just. It's not helpful. I've been the target of this kind of approach to mental health irl and "No! You don't really have depression or xyz! You make sense! You're just suffering because of our bigtoed capitalist hellscape society!"-- even if it holds a sliver of truth in that Societal Trauma Bad-- has the same outcome as "Xyz mental health issue is fake actually." Because at the end of the day, both these people would deny me the medication and therapy I need to make me enjoy myself and my life because they're dismissive of the fact that I do have a problem that could benefit from support. It's just that one of those arguments also pats themself on the back for their forward-thinking.

Anyway, sorry to rant in your inbox, I just didn't want to make my own post because these discussions are always a magnet for harassment, which I don't handle well for obvious reasons, even when it's just tumblr discourse.

it's so weird because i feel like we keep bringing up mental illness and trauma with ed's emotional reactions and it's always just?? ignored or minimized. like above all other reasons the thing i care the most about regarding ed and anger is how it's a reaction to trauma and what it means to see a survivor of abuse who's imperfect, but still deserves love. i feel like this is a lot of people's experience with relating to ed! a lot of his storyline centers around depression, trauma, anxiety, etc. the scene in the bathtub of him experiencing a flashback/panic attack felt so incredibly real for how that manifests in my own mental health.

survivors aren't perfect. their reactions aren't always just fear and hiding away and being a bit insecure. being able to see ed be messy in his mental health feels extremely validating especially for it to be a moc. mental health topics are minimized severely in communities of color where our experiences are brushed off as not that bad, or that it's just reacting to a shitty system, or being told you're not actually mentally ill you just need to be more disciplined. even for myself, it felt really?? REALLY hard getting support for my mental health as a teen since the time i tried my dad pulled back from going through with the appointment because i was just having "some anxiety" and not anything severe enough to be referred to a therapy service that dealt with "actual" crazy people.

it's just like fndjdjdjd ed's character is everything i've always wanted in a character of color including the flaws. especially because survivors of trauma often view themselves as irredeemably bad people or as tainted. seeing ed be able to have major flaws, where even when he hurts people, the narrative still treats him as human feels? really unique? he can do bad things, but that doesn't exist in a vacuum. he wasn't born that way and he's not out here doing it because he's evil, but because he's hurting. he still deserves a chance to be better, he still deserves to live in a world that's kind to him, and he still deserves to be loved.

and i really like that the show emphasizes the need to be soft with him and that he is fragile. moc are rarely afforded this in media and it just feels? really good to see for an older moc as well? like ed and izzy's relationship is super fucked up, but a big part of that is that it gets worse throughout the season. but i really liked the end of ep4 where ed is able to admit to izzy that he's burnt out and he needs to get out, and izzy doesn't judge him even once. he wants to help him and he agrees to ed's plan to escape piracy. it feels shockingly vulnerable for the two when you dig into it.

ugh anyways i love ed. i love that he's angry. i love that his anger is so strongly connected to fear and insecurity, and how it's almost childish really. (something something trauma therapy and connecting with your inner child and how the parts that hold your hurt tend to be younger)

he's really my perfect girl and it feels wild to me for it to get reduced to some shallow assumption when it's just? so much more than that?

#ofmd #edward teach

[strawhatkia]

✧ do not interact & before you follow !

if you are apart of this list, you will be blocked immediately

as you have seen from my pinned, i am anti-dark content, which means i am against the sexualization and/or romanticization of harmful topics such as incest/stepcest, r*pe [noncon/dubcon], minor x adult, incels, racism, homophobia, misogyny, ddlg (including all variations), pedophilia, gore, vore, snuff, etc. -> if this you, seek therapy and block me !

racists. homophobes. transphobes. ableists. trump supporters. pedophiles. gatekeepers. people who send hate on anon, and all around rude, disrespectful, and mean people in general. sexist/misogynistic. nazi/nazi supporter. anti-feminism. anti-semitic. (enter here)phobic. ‘superstraight’ or support ‘superstraights’. headcanon characters as anything relating to basic dni criteria. romanticize mental illness death, s3lf h4rm, ed’s, or suicide. if you write, support, and/or enjoy dark content. if you bash or talk down on minors. if you ship illegal ships, including incest/twincest.

people who believe in the following . . .

- “[insert here] wouldn’t date [poc] bc of…”

- “i think that [insert here] wouldn’t care for BLM or ACAB.”

- “[insert here] doesn’t like [gender/sexual identity] people.”

also, i block empty/inactive, ageless blogs, and spam likers that don't reblog. and yes, i am checking every single one. i need to know you not a bot shawty.

do not recommend me on platforms outside of tumblr especially tik tok. no translating my work anywhere (without permission). no reposting. no using for asmr content. no plagiarizing.

i reclaim slurs !

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don't ever interact with me sexually. you wanna talk about the latest chapter ? sure ! my ### life ? nah, shawty, nah.

until we have a couple of conversations, don't come cussing at me or in offensive tones. i have anxiety and anger issues, i will shut that shit down immediately and you'll be due for a block. when in doubt, use tone indicators !

with that being said, if i made you uncomfortable or i've upset you, let me know. I'll ask for clarification if not given and apologize. i'd rather you just tell instead of sub-tweeting because then I'll just add to the fire.

i use terms of endearment like love, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, etc. because of i'm cozy like that <3 let me know if that makes you uncomfortable.

ngl my posts range from sweet and cute to random to...well, so check the tags to make sure you block out the right things !

i like constructive and respectful criticism. i'll curse your bloodline if you ain't got nothing nice or helpful to say.

do NOT bring up things about politics or religion, or bring up topics such as r4p3, su/c/de, s3lf h4rm, pedophilia, 3at/ng disorders, depression, etc.

this is not a discourse blog, please take that shit elsewhere ! (you're on the wrong blog hun)

if you send me hate, be prepared to have niggas in your inbox blowing yo shit up. just don't do it stink !

#kia's nav !

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Confession Time

TW: For talks of mental illness as well as a mention of suicide.

This has actually been on my mind for quite a while but I was worried about how it would be taken. However this has actually come up several times in the Azula tag now so I might as well talk about it. And before I get to the point I just want to say that I’m very much open to respectful discussion. Please don’t rip me apart over this. 

So here we go; Azula/Therapy makes me rather uncomfortable.

And it does so on a rather personal level and for several reasons. I can’t really get into my biggest reason because it’s very deeply personal and I don’t feel comfortable sharing it online. So I’m gonna start with the less personal reasons as to why I think that Azula/Therapy is kinda sketchy imo.  

I feel as though most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t really realize how it affects real people? For one thing I feel like it makes a joke of therapy. It’s kind of hard to explain but therapy isn’t some cute and quirky thing. It’s a very serious matter and to ship Azula/Therapy like it’s the next Drapple (Draco/Apple) just doesn’t sit right with me. 

Now don’t get me wrong, I feel like most people who ship Azula/Therapy don’t particularly mean any offense. I feel like to a degree it comes from a place of innocence. But and its big but, I think that Azula/Therapy got its origins from a not so wholesome place. In fact I think that the ship was  born from a place of hate. I think that the first time I encountered Azula/Therapy it was from a very notorious Azula anti. It gained traction with the anti crowd as a means to harass and guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. And that’s not okay. I think that somewhere down the lines, the Azula fandom kind of reclaimed it but. I am damn near certain that this started as an Azula anti thing.

It’s one thing to ship Azula/Therapy because you don’t feel like Azula is sound enough to be in a relationship. But don’t try to guilt others for disagreeing. And this kind of leads me to my main problem with Azula/Therapy.

I think that it’s kind of, sort of (dare I say) ableist? Just because someone has a mental illness doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t be loved. I’ve been kind of keeping tabs on discussions on this and I came across one anon who literally say something about how “Azula would just be a burden to her lover.” NGL that had me floored because this is the exact line of thinking that puts depressed people in a bad place. Speaking from experience, people with depression feel like burdens/like they are bringing people down. And to see this line of thinking being affirmed in fandom spaces does not help real people who are experiencing the same thing. God forbid someone shares disorder traits with Azula and they see that. 

I am 100% that there are some relationships where a person just isn’t stable enough to be in a relationship and it would be detrimental for them to have one. But for other people finding a lover can be instrumental to recovery! So by all means, this is definitely a matter of something being a case by case thing. Getting a littler personal (but without getting into too many details) I know two people who literally saved each other. And by this I mean, one was super depressed and the other was ready to kill themself. Finding each other was what rekindled their will to live again. That’s why it really bothers me to see Azula/Therapy being tossed around so carelessly. To me there’s this underlying implication that mentally ill people shouldn’t be allowed to date and get love. And that’s just not fair?  I feel like people maybe don’t think about this when posting Azula/Therapy stuff. 

“Well Azula specifically shouldn’t be in a relationship yet because she’s not in a good place for it.”

Okay fair but consider a few things; 1. some people specifically write post-redemption Azula ship fics 2. some people enjoy writing out fics where romance helps her heal. 

I have seen it come up that someone (I won’t mention names because I’m not sure if this user would want that) mention that they ship Azula/Therapy because they aren’t up to writing a fic that involves an arc of Azula getting to a place where she can have romance. Which is totally fair. But, that doesn’t mean that other people can’t. And I feel like this fandom has been trying to guilt people for shipping Azula with anyone. As mentioned, this isn’t fine. (@ mentioned user, feel free to reply). 

Another thing that I saw was an anon saying that being anti Azula/Therapy is aro/acephobic. I’m going to put my foot down as someone who has been very openly aro/ace and say, don’t try to speak for all of us. Yes romance isn’t the solution for everyone because romance isn’t what everyone is looking for. And I absolutely agree with this. However Azula is a fictional character and not everyone headcanons her as aro/ace. For some people, writing Azula in a romance as part of the healing process is what makes them happy. It doesn’t make them aro/acephobic. 

One more thing that I saw come up regarding Azula specifically. And I think that they made a wonderful point; Azula’s breakdown (as I interpreted it) came from a lack of love. Azula craved genuine affection whether she realized it or not. So I would argue that Azula would be one of those people who could strongly benefit from being in a relationship as part of the healing processes. By all means, make therapy a part of that healing process! She can be in a relationship and she can still go to therapy. She can use that therapy to help her keep that relationship healthy. I guess what I’m trying to say is I could get on board with Azula/*Character*/Therapy as an OT3. 99.99% sure that this is really common in real life. Actually 100% sure because (again without sharing too much personal info) I have seen a rather unstable person get into a relationship and use therapy to help them make sure that said relationship stays healthy. 

A person doesn’t have to be 100% mentally sound to be in a relationship. And having a mental illness while  being in a relationship doesn’t automatically make it a toxic or dangerous relationship on principal. I think that (depending on the disorder) some long discussions need to be had and some boundaries need to be put in place. Speaking from experience, I have heard someone say something akin to, “alright, I have *disorder* if I ever do *bad habit* then take these steps and don’t let me push you around...” Things like that. 

TL;DR: I feel like Azula/Therapy (even if it comes from a well meaning place) can be disheartening for people who relate to Azula & people who already feel like a burden in their real life relationships. Ship Azula/Therapy if you want and if it makes you comfortable but don’t try to shame people for shipping her with other characters. Also be weary of people who ship Azula/Therapy  as a means to belittle others.

I think that’s it for now.  If I think of anything else, I’ll add it. I’ll just end by saying that I don’t mean this to be antagonistic or yell at anyone but to offer a new POV.

#Avatar The Last Airbender #Azula #Fandom Discourse #Azula Discourse #Confession

[mellometal]

Hi, everyone.

I have something extremely important to talk about that is NOT fandom related. I really do hope this can reach everyone on here, especially since it's still Autism Acceptance Month.

A few quick questions for anyone who happens to see this before I dive right into this: Have you ever heard of Dhar Mann? If so, have you ever seen his videos? What do you think about them?

If you don't know who Dhar Mann is, he's a content creator whose main platforms are Instagram and YouTube. He makes these videos about various scenarios from a couple on the brink of divorce, to kids bullying one of their peers, even about Autism Spectrum Disorder. All of his videos have some kind of message at the end that really drives the point home. One of his most recent videos is about ASD, which is what I'm going to discuss today.

Personally, I think some of his videos are interesting, despite the concepts being reused and recycled over and over; however, how I feel about the video he made about ASD is the complete opposite. I'll summarize the video he made so you don't have to watch it. (If you really want to watch it to see exactly what I'm talking about, I'm not gonna stop you. Do what you need to do in order to form your own opinion.)

The video Dhar Mann made about ASD is about this boy who excludes his autistic brother from participating in activities with his friends at school. The boy bullies his autistic brother and does pretty much everything to make his brother's life Hell, even going as far as to pretend that he doesn't know his own brother. The boy "instantly regrets his decision" when their mom is called into the school to discipline her son for bullying his autistic brother. What his mother says is what REALLY upsets me. The message of this video in particular is this, WORD FOR FUCKING WORD. I wish I was kidding. But here's the message below:

How the video concludes is the boy reluctantly includes his autistic brother in every single activity, the boy sees his brother's potential, and they live happily ever after. Whoop-dee-fucking-doo.

As an autistic woman who works with disabled people for a living, that message Dhar Mann put in this video specifically is not only extremely ableist, but is also spreading misinformation about ASD.

News flash to all the people who still spread misinformation about ASD: Not every single autistic person is a little white boy in elementary school, nor is every single autistic person a young white man who's a Super Genius™️. (I could go on all day long about how the media stereotypes autistic characters and autistic people in general, but that's a whole other topic.) No autistic person is the same, meaning we all fall on the spectrum in different places and all that jazz. There's no "look" to autistic people either because no autistic person looks the same.

Autistic women exist.

Autistic girls exist.

Autistic nonbinary people exist.

Autistic BIPOC and AAPI exist.

Autistic people who are completely nonverbal exist.

Autistic people who are completely verbal exist.

Autistic people who are in the middle of being nonverbal and verbal exist.

Autistic people who require minimal to no support exist.

Autistic people who require moderate support exist.

Autistic people who require full support exist.

Autistic LGBT people exist. (Reason why I bring this one up is because the media almost always shows cishet autistic men and I don't see autistic LGBT representation very often, if ever.)

Autism isn't something you can "catch". People have this same mentality about ADHD and Tourette's Syndrome too, which, by the way, you can't "catch" either.

Autism doesn't "go away" when you reach adolescence or adulthood. Why? BECAUSE AUTISTIC TEENAGERS AND AUTISTIC ADULTS EXIST. Autistic kids grow into autistic teenagers, then into autistic adults.

You can't "cure" it either. Unless you can build a time machine and a device to go back in time to change how a person's brain develops, there is no cure. ABA therapy is a fucking shit show in itself that does more harm than good.

The title of the video is a real squick for me too. It's mostly because I don't particularly enjoy people using person first language (the "boy with autism" part). I've seen many other autistic people on multiple other platforms sharing that same sentiment and preferring identity first language (autistic person). There are also others who prefer using person first language and those who don't have a preference. That's all perfectly valid. Whatever you prefer people using when referring to you, or whatever you refer to yourself as, in this case, is totally valid and I love you. This goes for disabilities in general, not just Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Regarding the message in this video, here's my response to it! A quick heads-up, my response is VERY long and VERY passionate. I was VERY close to making a response video where I tear that video apart AND tear Dhar Mann a new asshole. Unfortunately, it worked me up so much that I was really struggling with what I wanted to say and I had to stop multiple times because I kept stumbling on my words. That's how angry this message made me. I'll try my best to explain whatever parts you have questions about. I put my response in the nicest way I possibly could, despite me seething with rage, wanting to go OFF on him.

(The first part of my response are the first three screenshots, and the second part are the last three screenshots.)

The first part of my response, I did forget to add that the message is offensive and disrespectful to autistic people as a whole. I apologize. My initial comment got way too long. I pretty much covered that when I told him the message is ableist. I wanted to clear that up before anyone asks about it.

The second part of my response is me opening up about my experience with being diagnosed with ASD, formerly known as As//per//ger's Syn//dro//me, at sixteen years old. I also went into how not calling ASD what it truly is (which is a disability) and calling it a "different ability" instead is extremely harmful and is treating being disabled like it's a bad thing.

By the way, saying that a disabled person is disabled isn't a bad thing. I'm disabled. It is what it is. Does it have its challenges? You bet. Does it help me with certain things? Hell yeah. I can really absorb information about my favorite bands, characters, shows, books, etc., and tell you a lot about those things. For example, I can tell you that Su can't ride a bike or read manga and she's okay with that. I can also tell you she can't tie her shoes very well, which is why her boots don't have laces and are slip-on and/or zip-up. But that doesn't mean my struggles are nonexistent or that I never struggle. I do, and it makes my life Hell at times.

The narrative that autism is a bad thing to have, every autistic person is somehow broken and they all need to be "fixed" is also super fucked up and not true. That's the narrative that I received when I was diagnosed by a therapist I had. I'm gonna be real here, I cried when I was first told that I was diagnosed with ASD. I felt like I was broken. I already felt like a total outcast. Being told about my diagnosis made me feel even more broken than I already felt. I was so ashamed of myself, despite me not doing anything wrong whatsoever, that I masked for SEVEN YEARS of my life. I masked for so long that I forgot I was even diagnosed with ASD in the first place. I wasn't taught how to really put my special interests into good use. I kinda had to figure that out on my own. I was pretty much under the assumption that me being interested in anime, cartoons, music, comics, theatre, writing, etc., to the point of obsession, was somehow weird and hurting people around me. You know, despite those things being harmless. Despite me being able to separate those things from other things that are important (like work, for example). Despite my only surviving parent, other family members, and the woman he was dating at the time completely overreacting and not bothering to see exactly what makes these things so special to me.

(By the way, having a disability does not completely make who a person is. There are a lot more things that make who a person is than that.)

It's kinda shocking that I wasn't able to come to terms with my diagnosis until this year. Considering that I masked for so long due to being ashamed of myself, plus being treated like a burden for being disabled, it's probably not very surprising. I initially thought at the time that it was the worst thing to have, as I was already struggling with enough shit back then, but came to realize it's not a bad thing. It doesn't change who I am. But I'm glad I came to terms with it finally nonetheless.

This is getting way too long, so I'm gonna wrap things up here. If you've read this far, thank you so much. I'm sorry this got so long!

If you watched the video, what are your thoughts on it? If this is your first time hearing about Dhar Mann, how do you feel about him? If you're a Dhar Mann fan, did this change your opinion on him in any way? Feel free to sound off in the comments!

Have a great day, everyone!

#mello speaks #dhar mann #autism acceptance #autism spectrum disorder #being autistic isn't a bad thing #autism isn't a different ability stop fucking saying it is #autistic community #autism self advocacy network #autistic women and non-binary people network #fuck autism speaks #i had to say this #dhar mann will live to regret his decision uwu #autism acceptance month #autism speaks does not speak for me #light it up red #light it up gold #no puzzle pieces #tw dhar mann

[sketchy-the-changeling]

I was talking about Pinkie Pie with someone and he gave me a hot take: Pinkie is meant to represent people with codependency issues and thus, not criticizing her character because she’s too needy is ableist and discourages kids with similar issues from relating to her. As a Pinkie Pie disliker person, what do you think about this take?

1. I gave this take the benefit the doubt and took some time to look up some info on codependency. The article I found has an important "Caution to Readers" section saying that while it was petitioned for codependency to be classified as a personality disorder, the American Psychiatric Association did not act on the proposal and therefore codependency does not have a medical consensus on whether it is or is not a disorder/disability. As a result, the definition and criteria for codependency has been shaped by self-help authors rather than psychiatric professionals, so the term has become too nebulous to be useful and is discouraged by some in the field.

2. It's worth pointing out that one of the reasons a relationship becomes codependent is when one side of the relationship enables the bad habits of the other. So Pinkie's friends placating her and capitulating to her tantrums is what's creating a codependent relationship. (See: Yakity Sax) The worst thing to do with someone who has codependency issues is enable their behavior, and this is something the article points out.

3. It's not Pinkie's codependency issues that are the problem. It's the fact that she doesn't learn from them and almost never makes the effort to improve in almost a decade's worth of episodes. If most of her episodes were like The Maud Couple, where she makes an effort to be better, there wouldn't be an issue. The article I cited earlier also has a section titled "Codependency is Recoverable. Denial is Not," and it says that "codependency is learned - and as such, can be unlearned." This means that if Pinkie Pie was meant to be a representation of people with codependency issues, she would be a very toxic one because she makes little to no effort in changing that behavior despite it being behavior that can be unlearned and despite being made aware of it several times over the course of the show, and that's more damaging to kids because it teaches complacency rather than growth.

Getting therapy, healthy coping mechanisms, taking your meds if you need them, that's all your responsibility. Even if codependency was a mental disorder (which, as we have established, it is not,) having a mental disorder is not a free pass to be inconsiderate of the people around you. Concessions can be made, but you still have to put in the effort to handle your issues.

4. It's not enough to be a representation. Said representation has to be good. If we just accept any representation of mental illness/disability in media regardless of how well or how accurate it's executed, we get episodes like Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep or characters like Mike from Total Drama.

I don't know if the person you were talking to genuinely believes in what they're saying or if they just don't like hearing criticism about a character they like, but their argument is faulty on several fronts regardless.

Tumblr really needs to stop encouraging people to just not expect neurodivergent people to have basic manners and consideration for others. We're more than capable of it, and Tumblr's insistence that we're not is itself ableist. They're saying we don't know how to operate as functional human beings and cannot possibly comprehend our neurotypical friends.

We CAN do those things because we're not incapable of learning. We just learn differently.

Here's the article I read for folks that wanna read more on the subject. https://bpdfamily.com/content/codependency-codependent-relationships

[cruelfeline]

sorry to jump in on the infinity train conversation, but that anon is... kinda confusing me, saying spop "did it better" (talking about a rushed redemption arc)? simon was never meant to be redeemed, let alone with his death. I honestly think he and his story were very well-written, because the train was never meant to be a perfect system, and simon's downfall illustrates how it isn't as one-size-fits-all as we once thought. it's not a "therapy train," it's capable of sending people down a worse path than they were originally on, and that can have traumatic and tragic results. as for the fandom's response to it, honestly, i can see why they'd want to celebrate the death of a character who caused so much pain and suffering to the ones who made the effort to better themselves (especially when said characters are women/poc, and actually get to come out on top as opposed to their white male counterpart). it's definitely overzealous at times, but i dont think people's hatred of simon comes from a particularly ableist place (and again. very sorry for this wall of text;;)

Ah. Hm. I’m uncertain; I can’t really speak for anon. But I suppose I interpreted less as “SPoP did redemption better” and more as a preference for the concept of “getting better even after hitting rock bottom.” If that makes sense? In that context, I’d agree with anon: I prefer a story where a character like Catra (or Simon) recovers after reaching harsh lows, rather than is killed. 

Though I agree with you that Simon’s story was well-written, and that it wasn’t really mean to be redemption. Also regarding the imperfection of the train: I appreciate that emphasis on how such things are not “one-size-fits-all.”

At the same time, I must confess that I did find the fandom reaction to be somewhat... distasteful. Unpleasant. 

I understand why it happened; I can comprehend the enjoyment of seeing minority characters finally win in a story, while the majority, more traditionally “mainstream” character does not. But... ehn. How to put this... it might be an unpopular take. Hm...

I guess it’s sort of like... like Kyle in SPoP. Not exactly like Kyle, mind you; obviously the characters are different. But it’s a similar concept, to me. Originally, Kyle was sort of funny. He was a demonstration of the show’s writing rejecting the “standard main character” (white, male, kind of gawky, etc., etc.) and focusing on characters less often seen in media. And that was great! Representation in wonderful, and that subversion was a welcome thing!

But.

At some point, it went too far. It switched from mildly poking fun at Kyle’s character to just being kind of... awful about it. Tormenting him for no apparent reason. Which led to the subversion coming off as less funny and more... vindictive?

I guess the best way to put it is: one does not need to put one person down in order to lift another up. One can focus on and develop and champion a character without tearing down another. 

Especially because... y’know, that character might be “mainstream” or “traditional,” but they’re still meaningful to someone. Kyle is still meaningful to some people, to the point that the way the show handles him is off-putting. And Simon is likely meaningful to some people as well. Someone out there likely relates to him as a character, and so watching the fandom exhibit this sort of... glee over what happened to him is... ehn. Obviously, if people are gleeful, they’re gleeful; one cannot really change how one feels. But I can understand how it might be a demoralizing thing to experience, if that was the character one bonded with. 

For me, personally, Simon’s fate wasn’t something that I found gratifying. I just found it very, very sad.

Ah, well. In the end, it’s not something I think about much. Infinity Train isn’t a show I was particularly invested in. So... *shrug*

#discourse #infinity train #its-chips

[concerningwolves]

hi! I'm planning on writing a profoundly deaf girl around 8 years old and I haven't seen much about how to write a deaf child, specifically who's primary language is asl. Would there be a difference in how a kid signs vs an adult, and would their signing be influenced by the fact that their parents are hearing?

ahh deaf children! This is something I enjoy talking about but (surprisingly) have had little chance to yet on this blog. Nice question, Nonny!

“Would there be a difference in how a kid signs Vs an adult?”

A sign-speaking child might use Makaton at first (it’s where I started). Makaton is a sign system designed to support speech – I like to think of it as the middle ground between verbal speech and sign language. The signs come from the national sign language but used in the same way as verbal speech. The first ever word I remember learning is “drink” followed by “more” and then, once I had more of an understanding of full sentences, “please”. When I was very young, I would just sign a single word for what I wanted in the same way as a verbal-speaking child would. “please” and “thank you” came later, and full sentences after that. 

It’s also worth noting that Makaton doesn’t incorporate regional dialects like BSL, ISL, ILS, ASL etc, and varies from country to country. As the child gets older and transitions to their national sign language, they may pick up the dialect and drop the more basic Makaton signs. (The average signing 8 y/o would do this, btw. Children pick up language from adults in their life and then form their personal idiolect as they get older).

As with all talk of representation: people are people. Or in this case: children are children. This means that some basic features of children’s speech still translate into how a child uses signs. You might have noticed from that children between the ages of (roughly) 2-4 years over-generalise. All insect-like animals are “fly!” or all four-legged animals are “doggy”. So a sign-speaking child might, instead of “tea”, “coffee”, “juice” or “water”, just use the “drink” sign for everything. As the child ages, they would get a wider understanding of different signs and gather the words much like any other child would (barring a speech-related disability, that is). I highly recommend this post about child speech with additions from an actual expert, but keep in mind that some of these are unique to verbal speech/ wouldn’t work in sign! 

HOWEVER, the answer to 

“would their signing be influenced by the fact that their parents are hearing?”

can render some above advice useless. Here’s why: 

As much as I would love to see more supportive parents, many parents of Deaf children ruthlessly mainstream their children. For the unaware, mainstreaming refers to the practise of pushing Deaf children into Hearing society without nuance, sensitivity or regard for what the child wants. It can include (but isn’t limited to): speech therapy, punishment for removing hearing aids/implants, sending a child to a mainstream Hearing school, cutting ties to Deaf culture, encouraging a Deaf child to actively shun Deaf culture, and having a child fitted with implants at a young age without their consent. 

It’s also important to remember that although mainstreaming is an abuse, it doesn’t always mean that the child’s parents are abusive. Most of the time, the parents are simply… Hearing, (and raised in an inherently ableist society). They don’t know any better, and health professionals do nothing to educate them. These parents often believe that they’re doing the best by their child. Even “supportive” parents can might not understand the nuance of the Deaf community; they will take some very basic sign language courses, watch a few videos and then try to “compromise” between verbal and signed speech with their child. (which is confusing and upsetting)

If any of this is true for your character, then their development of signed speech may suffer. 

Some things you need to know about the parents: 

how do the parents feel about deafness/Deaf culture?

have the parents learned sign language?

how to the parents feel about sign language? 

do the parents use signed or verbal speech with their child? 

and some things to know about the child/their environment: 

do they have access to the Deaf community?

are there any Deaf friends, family members or other trusted adults who use sign language in their life? 

do they attend any clubs or groups with other sign speakers?

If your character has other sign-speakers that they trust and interact with, then their development of ASL (or any other sign language) will be healthy. But if not, or if their parents are awkward about sign language, then it would be harder for your character to sign freely. 

Here in the UK we have the National Deaf Children’s Society where deaf children do fun things like drive cars blindfolded, go grass-sledging, venture out on sailing boats and go to see sign-supported pantomimes. (I’ve done all of those. And when I say fun, I mean,, chaotic and fear-inducing and also brilliant). The NDCS also provides resources for parents, encouraging them to embrace sign language and Deaf culture, partakes in activism and more. Do some research to see if there would be anything similar that your character could access. 

Good luck!

#Anonymous #deaf characters #deaf children #mainstreaming

[janiedean]

I was just wondering what do you think about posts that excuse Cersei's behaviour because she's mentally ill, or that if you critique its because your ableist and hate mentally ill people? Or some variation/combination of the two? Like it just bugs me in general when people automatically excuse and even justify horrible, violent and abusive behaviour just because someone's mentally ill, particularly as someone whose been on the receiving end of that behaviour from mentally ill people.

... I think I’ve made my opinion clear, but very briefly and hoping that I don’t unleash the kraken:

c.’s issues could have been solved if someone had sent her to a child psychologist before the age of then in modern au. period. because someone who grows up not having a shred of regret over having thrown a supposed friend in a well when they were twelve over a menial thing either should have had a completely different upbringing or should have gotten therapy. which doesn’t exist in westeros, but anyway, when discussing c’s issues that’s the crux of the matter;

c’s issues also hurt other people and I’m not talking about j., I’m talking about everyone around her or mostly, and the point is that the moment someone’s issues also mean hurting others... your freedom ends where others’s starts. assuming that her MH issues mean that she’s justified in behaving the way she does means that having MH issues is a free out of jail card for hurting others, which... it’s not;

spoilers: all three lannister siblings have mental health issues. same as like, 90% of the characters in these books. I’m 99% sure that the only two POV characters who doesn’t have issues that would require immediate therapy are davos (and he’s lost four kids, he has his problems) and asha, probably, and asha is just... very functional but it’s a miracle she came out like that considering her background. everyone else has issues over issues to different degrees, so... at this point disliking anyone in these books with this reasoning would mean hating mentally illy people while at the same time 85% of the characters you like most likely also have mental health issues and I’m talking just that, because I mean... if someone likes bran and not doran or viceversa I’m not going to assume that they’re ableist since both characters are disabled and both can’t walk, but most likely it’s just a personality preference, so saying that if you don’t like c. it’s because you hate mentally ill people or are ableist to me is ridiculous because like... I don’t like c. and my top five has three pov characters who have obviously mental health issues up the wazoo and one who most likely had plenty (and two out of those five also have become physically disabled as well during the series), I have gone to therapy for a damned long time myself and I hate mentally ill people now just because I don’t like a character who has MH issues? sorry but that’s like... ridiculous. you’re allowed to not like some characters because their personality is not your thing regardless of the issues they have;

also: again, c.’s issues hurt other people. those other people have no obligation to stick by if they feel like it’s detrimental to their health, same as no one has an obligation to stick by someone who is detrimental to their MH or well-being and also has no intention of changing/is aware of that. like, I can get behind wanting to support someone you love whose behavior hurts you who has realized it and is getting help/is actively trying to get better, but if that person doesn’t care or isn’t aware then no one has an obligation to stick by if it hurts them, so assuming that people who don’t like c. or whoever else or that characters in the books should stick by c. because of her issues if it hurts them is imvho not a thing people should even bring up because it implies that people have an obligation to excuse actions that are hurtful when the person who commits them has no interest in getting better, so... nah;

also there’s critique and critique and disliking a disabled character doesn’t automatically make you ableist same as disliking a woman doesn’t make you a misogynist, but like, going outside cersei: people can dislike tyrion just because they don’t gaf about him or because they don’t like the character or because they don’t find his personality that charming, but the moment the criticism turns into calling him a monster or joking about his height or basically sounding like tywin when he talks about tyrion then it’s definitely ableism and to be quite honest when it comes to tumblr there’s a lot more ableist critique thrown at tyrion than at cersei, because the ten of us who dislike her openly do it because she’s terrible while recognizing that she has issues which explain why she’s like that but don’t justify what she does at pretty much almost any point ever, the army of people who meta about tyrion as if he’s these books’s ultimate villain when 90% it’s because he could be in the way of their ship or say that he has male privilege over c. who therefore couldn’t have abused him (YES I had to read that with mine own eyes) and the likes most likely should check their priorities because that’s not hating him bc he’s a character you don’t like, that reeks of ableism 101 and of having skimmed his chapters (also tyrion has MH issues up the wazoo too but I don’t see people on here mentioning it). same way, one thing is disliking cat because she’s not your type of character, another is the fact that this entire fandom seems to have decided that blaming catelyn for every horrid thing that happened in these books that would not have happened had she just stayed home with the kids which imvho shows exactly the level of not-so-hidden misogyny rampant around here/directed at her specifically. but I don’t think that everyone who hates cat is misogynist or does it because of misogyny, I just think that a lot of fandom bias against her is... very misogynistic;

to sum up the above thing, considering that c. is also straight up written as a negative character and grrm has said time and time again that it’s her point in the narrative, assuming that someone would dislike her just because she’s MH is pretty much fried air as we say here because given what she’s pulled up until now, I think that she has enough of a CV that people have more than enough reasons to dislike her without bringing her mental health into account. because her issues might explain why she’s like that, but they don’t justify for shit anything she does, and if that’s valid for knowing why theon was the way he was in wf but doesn’t justify him killing the miller’s kids, knowing why jaime pushed bran but doesn’t justify it, knowing why sandor doesn’t disobey ethically horrid orders but doesn’t mean he hasn’t done pretty fucked up shit etc., then it’s also valid for c. and I really would like for characters to be judged evenly, thanks.

also: everyone has their limits when it comes to understanding/explaining where a person committing wrong actions comes from. if people can relate to c. and/or see themselves in her issues and have compassion for her, that’s their prerogative and I won’t go bitch at them for it same as I appreciate if people don’t bitch at me for having compassion for theon or sandor or jaime or whoever else. but at the same time assuming that everyone has your standards is ridiculous. for me c. was irredeemable after she basically went and laughed about the red wedding/thought she was so much better than cat because cat went insane after seeing robb die because to me people finding the red wedding funny or hilarious or well-deserved is the ultimate thing that will make me stop caring about them. if for someone jaime having pushed bran out of the window is irredeemable as long as they don’t come to me complaining about why I don’t think it is, it’s their prerogative.

but assuming that all of us need to find c. redeemable or understandable or relatable because people who like her do is ridiculous because you can’t expect anyone to relate to your favorites just because you do, and calling out the social justice card is ridiculous because fictional preferences are what they are and you can’t force yourself to like someone you despise just because they belong to X category - I wouldn’t tell people they have to like jaime because he has ptsd nor I’d expect them to be automatically ableist if they don’t gaf about jaime either way and don’t make jokes about him losing his guts with his hand or about how he’s the stupidest lannister, I’d expect people wouldn’t tell me I have to like c. because she has MH issues or whatnot. because there’s plenty of reasons to dislike c. and none of them have to do with her MH and most of her have to do with her abusive behavior.

also, last thing: the one time I actually met someone who was a self-proclaimed ‘I empathize with cersei on a personal level’ person, after three days in which they were an asshole to everyone in the group we were, the moment I called her out on it after she had been even more of an asshole when someone else tried to discuss it reasonably, I got backhanded in the face twice for it. now, I handled it and tbqh I didn’t mind it half as much as I could have because I didn’t gaf about this person and barely knew them. I also know that this person had issues (and later went to therapy so good for them), but as much as I could sympathize with her issues, forgive me if I don’t really think I want to see again someone who barely knew me and saw fit to hit me in the face twice. now, am I ableist for that? I really don’t think so. it’s the exact same principle. someone else might have had another reaction to it, but I’m not obliged to give them a second chance since they hurt me first and no one would say I’m ableist for it. it’s the exact same argument just brought to fictional level. one thing is disliking a character because of their issues only (ie theon and the castration jokes), another is disliking them because you think they’re boring and/or they’re not your kind of character.

and people need to realize that their favorite character can’t be everyone’s favorite character statistically. like. none of our faves are automatically everyone’s faves and that’s fine because that’s how the world works. *shrug*

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #mental health cw #anti-cersei #anti-cersei lannister #janie rants #*shrug* #Anonymous #ask post

[autismus-obscurus]

hello could you help me, i wanna write a story were onw of the characters is autistic i want a little help is there some sites about it

First of all, I’m very glad you turn to the autistic community. I’m sure you’ve seen this written a bunch of times, but just to be sure: please, please stay away from Autism Speaks. They demonize autism (basically saying autistic people ruin their families and would be better off dead). They promote a “cure” (which means aborting children that test positive for autism genes) and abusive “therapy”. A good post about why ABA is bad is HERE.This is a very good post on what to look out for in research.Tbh, I don’t go on other websites as much, so I’ll put some links of stuff that I know. For a general understanding, you can look into the DSM-V criteria (the offical criteria to diagnose autism). This won’t give you much to write a lively character, but with all the resources, it can be overwhelming. You should also definitely check out the organizations run by autistics, such as the Autistic Self-Advocacy Network and the Autistic Women’s Network.Autism is a spectrum. (See here for an explanation on what that means.) No two autistics are the same, and experience the world the same. An important tip I read was “don’t make autism their only defining trait” (it’s the same with race or sexuality, really). It’s tempting, since autism is literally affect how our brain works, but it’s better to do it in subtle ways e.g.

sensory differences (HERE is an example for sensory issues)

executive dysfunction and how to deal with it

overstimulation (also called sensory overload; common, but not universal)

the empathy thing

Eye contact

Voice stuff

“Atypical” Traits 

How do special interests work?

Comorbidities and how the influence our perception of autism

Example: PTSD and Autism

This is a very cute comic that gives an overview over common issues and how to be a good ally.

For inspiration and relatable things, you can definitely check out the #actuallyautistic tag! If you need examples for sensory things: Sensory hell and Sensory heavenIf you look on tumblr, you’ll find tons of examples for stimming. The trick is obviously to write it in a way that doesn’t degrade it (especially happy flapping has become a meme that basically says people who flap are R*tarded or just insane). That goes for all autistic behavior.

Another big topic is ableism. Warning: You will fuck up. We all do. I’m autistic and I still struggle with internalized ableism a lot. That includes automatically thinking autistic behavior looks weird, or not being able to express it, hell I haven’t even told more than four people in real life I’m autistic. Autistic is still used to mean something negative and you don’t shake that easily. Just be critical of your own thinking.Ableism has many facettes, too many for me to line up here. Some include:

Not listening to us: People who talk are “obviously” too high-functioning to speak about autism, people who can’t talk are not assumed to be able to express an opinion.

Everyone has met at least one neurotypical who assumed they knew more about autism than an autistic person.

Medical ableism: Goes both directions. Either autistics are treated as if we could not make decisions, even as adults, or our problems are dismissed, especially other symptoms

Sexism: Women much less likely to receive a diagnosis or to be treated for medical problems both. Resources masterpost on autism in women

An article about lack of diagnosis in autistic women

Abuse: Can range from emotional abuse (e.g. guilt tripping, gaslighting) to physical (e.g. provoking a meltdown / sensory overload on purpose), usually both

Generally just ignoring an autistic person’s boundaries.

“Autistics are only worth something if they have a special talent” (basically Rain Man)-> dehumanization in general, “we’re not human for not having certain traits / abilities”

There’s also this huge debate on self-dx (see this post for example). In many places diagnosis is expensive and can have a lot of disadvantages (e.g. looking for jobs). Self-dx involves a shit ton of research, months and years of it, really. (Just like you are doing now!) My humble opinion: Psychologists fuck up as well, see the ableism section.

Here is a post on how to get diagnosed as an adult. And here is a post on self-dx!Here’s my story of getting diagnosed (maybe less relevant, but take it as a real life example)

Media representation of autistic people is unfortunately complete garbage for the most part:

This post has a lot of notes with people telling what irks them about media representation of disability in general.Here is a post on why The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time )a pretty popular book that we read in school as “education” about autism) is a bad representationA post on ableism in the series “Good Doctor”I couldn’t find a cohesive review of the show “Atypical” and I haven’t seen it myself, nor do I intend to, but if you go in the #atypical tag the autistic community is very clear that it’s bullshit (and also backed by Autism Speaks, so big surprise)Billy from the new power rangers is autistic! And from what I’ve heard he’s actually well-written. (A post about what the writers did right.)

Things to avoid (unless you present it in the context of ableism / being negative):

cure rhethoric

functioning labels / mental age rhetoric (See this post)

The distinction aspergers and autism (I can’t find the post explaining in detail why it’s bullshit but here’s the short version: Aspergers is an outdated concept (in the new DSM-V it doesn’t exist anymore, you’re just autistic) and it has been used to separate the “good” autistics from the “bad” (it’s ableist and a functioning label basically)

Here’s also an explanation on Aspie supremacists

emotionless character

person first language (Here is a post on why PFL is bad)

white little boy with special interest in trains (they do exist, but it’s overdone)

he’s autistic BUT- (insert special ability) Click Here

Here is a post explaining our preference for the autism label above othersHere is another post on writing autistic charactersLastly, I recently found a very good post about the difficulty of calling a character autistic in writing, you can check it out here.

I probably forgot a ton of important things, so if anyone wants to add something, please do so; or shoot me a message, whatever is more comfortable.

#dev answers #actually autistic #info masterpost #writing #asd #autism #this took around two hours to type up but it was fun lol

[putris-et-mulier]

There is this new Korean web comic called Save Me (published in English on lezhin) by 1230 and an issue/episode is released each Wednesday.

As a disabled person in a wheelchair and also a fan of comics I love it. I posted a few panels I liked and my inbox blew up with people asking me what it was and where they can read it for themselves

Save Me is an ongoing web manhwa that's released each week but the first 4 issues are totally free to read on the publisher's English site and you can get those just by clicking: this

Official description: Hyeongoh, the first place student at school, is disabled and has a knack for getting ridiculed by the school's bullies. With no help and no way out, he finds himself in a despairing situation...until someone appears to stand by his side! 

Quick description that is far less vague: It begins with Hyeongoh being violently bullied and dumped out of his wheelchair then Namsoo, a new student, happens to be walking by afterword and is happy to see his first classmate but then Hyeongoh begins dragging himself across the pavement toward a wheelchair and he's suddenly not happy anymore. 

The 2 protagonists are Hyeongoh

and Cha Namsoo who has multiple distinct looks 

When he looks at other people

or sometimes

unless it's Hyeongoh

I am dying to know what people think of this, especially able-bodied people, because it's so… Real.

Also, you see Hyeongoh refuses assistance from anyone even if he clearly needs it. In most cases this would be an ableist trope but this is a bit of a different situation, one I can speak personally to. 

If you are being bullied, especially physically, you ask for less help so as to go unnoticed. You refuse help to divert attention away from yourself and to avoid whoever else might come by and take an interest. Many times disabled people will be physically bullied when they are being "assisted" by students and the adults just eat it up when it's actually a game of how discreetly they can punch or pinch you and mock you about how no one's going to notice. You don't tell the staff because nothing will come of it, you will be blamed as a distraction in the class (the equivalent to a halter top on a girl) and told to toughen up because the world won't always baby us. 

You don't tell your friends, if you have any, because the first complement you usually get from your peers is about how unlike other crippled people you are because you don't make a big "thing" about it even though they've never met any other disabled people. You don't tell your family because statistically they are also abusing you and/or you have come to realize no one cares and nothing will be solved so it would just be a waste of time. You stop asking for and accepting help from family and friends because you start to feel ashamed of your lack of abilities, not to physically operate but to just deal with the situation or find some way to please everyone. It gets to the point that even if someone hands you something it makes you feel pathetic.

When should you offer to help a disabled person? When you would have offered help if they were able-bodied.

What do you do if your offer is badly received? You get to go home and live your life. No one owes you an explanation and if you judged all able-bodied people by single interactions like you do with disabled people you would never speak to anyone ever again.

Anyway, I think this is a good read.

Not everyone will be able to read the series due to the content but please signal boost. It's the only legitimate representation a  teenager in a wheelchair I've ever seen.

Trigger warnings: very realistic ableism which includes verbal, emotional, and physical abuse as well as torture. As I said, it's highly realistic and I think a lot of things might be really jarring if you've never experienced living as a teenager who uses something like a wheelchair. 

An educated guess as to why Hyeongoh is disabled/what he has and a grade of the accuracy of the abuse shown below, so spoiler warnings 

The protagonist Hyeongoh is disabled and it hasn't yet to been stated exactly what his disability stems from but it seems that he has paralysis

I'm assuming most of you are not disabled and I don't mean to condescend but I want to write this so everyone understands so the series can he read in a more nuanced way 

Hyeongoh could have a number of disabilities, he might have Multiple Sclerosis, Multiple Dystrophy (like me!), Cerebral Palsy, Neurofibromatosis or even just a traumatic brain injury but I'd wager that he is supposed to be partially paralyzed in the lower half of his body, it sort of looks like mid thigh up he has some control over

this panel isn't realistic unless the injury causes paralysis below the knees but this is incongruent to how we usually see him so I think it's the author taking liberties

Personally I love that you don't know exactly what he has because the only type of character in a wheelchair you ever see are ones that are paralyzed and they are always paralyzed from the waist down (and they have absolutely no feeling or control below their waist which is not how spinal injuries work.) Leaving his diagnosis unstated is really helpful if an author makes a mistake and it makes the character more relatable not to just disabled people but to able-bodied people, because the character isn't identified as their disease/injury.

I'm guessing he has paralysis since it could work with what we've seen but also because that's the type of disability people always use.

Hyeongoh's strength in the upper part of his legs can give us an indication of what he might have 

It's only the top of the spine that, if injured, will make you unable to control your bladder/bowels or feel your genitals 100% guaranteed, below the first six vertebrae you can retain some feeling and control (the lower the better) so it's not as simple (or scary) as it is on TV. From C6 down the more abilities you have, the lower the injury the better. Some people with paralysis can walk for short periods. In real life you don't just get hit in the spine and suddenly your ass and legs don't work

Hyeongoh seems to have something like a C8 injury IMO but we only have a little bit of evidence to go by.

He can extend his arms and fingers completely with seemingly no difficulty; injuries in the first six vertebrae can result in complete inability to use your arms but with the lower C's you lose the ability to open your hand or arm completely. 

Hyeongoh can also do things independently with equipment and although we see he doesn't drive he probably could in an accessible car. We also (unfortunately) see that he can control his bowels which is possible with a C8 injury but not to the extent.

Given what we've seen he is able to do he probably can't stand or walk at all but it wouldn't be unrealistic that might be able to but doesn't

It may look like he's pulling himself up with just the strength of his arms but he definitely isn't. A standard manual chair like that would just fall over so he has to have at least partial ability above his knees. 

Doing this hurts a bunch and you are completely exhausted afterward

Here he seems to have something less serious than a C8 injury but I'd wager it's the author taking more liberties to get him back in the chair as quickly as he does

This position isn't necessarily telling. If he does have something genetic causing his disability or was disabled at a very early age his foot is probably fine and can be straightened at will. Kids are extremely flexible and can retain that flexibility if they have good physical therapy, which he clearly does.

We had this game when I was a kid where we tried to see who could position themselves in such a way that even the medical or special ed staff would freak out thinking we broke something. As an adult I understand why the adults hated it so much but it's still funny.

Remember, people with damage to the bottom of their spine can sometimes even appear to walk normally and be what we call "invisibly disabled" in that they can pass as able-bodied. Disability is a spectrum and spinal injury is a spectrum within a spectrum.

As for the accuracy of the bullying, this is my opinion in my experience: 

Dumped out of his wheelchair – highly common, almost guaranteed

Wheelchair taken from him to be played with – guaranteed

Verbal and emotional violence/abuse – guaranteed

Physical violence/abuse – highly common

Kicked and punched – highly common among peers and even as high as 70% of disabled people in general but only about 60% gets reported. Male victims are less likely to have their attacks reported and it's estimated that if a violent attack doesn't include rape then disabled men are the more likely targets whereas disabled women have around a 90% chance of being violently attacked and raped in their life. Male rape victims who are disabled are too underreported to project any realistic percentages but the estimate is that it's very close to disabled women's.

Stabbed – I'd like to say this isn't common but it happened to me multiple times when I was in school and everyone I've spoken to who was in a wheelchair in school has had similar experiences. What takes place in the comic is extreme but it is normal for children to stab you in the leg with a pencil to "see if it will hurt" or "prove that you are faking it" They will also do this by kicking you in the leg or trying to damage it with another foreign object

Being drugged – rare but being forced to eat something that is inevitable is very common

You or your wheelchair being manhandled to force you to physically do something you don't want to – guaranteed

Students who bullied you help you cover it up, usually working together with you to some extent – highly common

School staff seeing the physical violence not doing anything – highly common. In fifth grade someone punched me in class right in front of the teacher and when I cried out she gave me a demerit for being loud. As for the punch, I was supposed to take this opportunity to learn to have a thicker skin… I guess literally

School staff taking resentment out on disabled children because of their need for accommodation – highly common, almost guaranteed 

Photos taken of disabled students without their knowledge to be passed around as entertainment – guaranteed. 

I'm not going to perpetuate it by giving you an example but I can describe one that isn't so scary but still really annoying: a student was in the cafeteria getting lunch when he saw a disabled male student eating at a table with two able-bodied male students. Immediately the student knew that the able-bodied guys were doing charity work and took a photo of these three unsuspecting men and it went viral. It was reported in the news nationwide as a fluff piece with an inspirational message of "throw disabled people a bone." 

The men in the picture obviously ended up seeing it and it turns out they were just three friends that had the same lunch break and they were just trying to eat in peace. I still see the photo shared with a message to encourage able-bodied people to sit near us more often or that they should be happy they aren't one of us

We are very far into the series but those are the big ones

#Christy creare #ableism #ableism in comics #assault #violence #bullying #Info #Save me #abelism #actually disabled #disability #spoonie #Signal Boost™ disability

[alethiaii]

So now that I have binge watched the half of season 2, I’ve gotta say it’s still not going to be something I look forward to every week for new content. The attempted writing course correction is off kilter. First, why are they trying their hand at writing Doctor Who-ish Star Trek? That’s just...not compatible. I mean sure if you try your hand at fanfic crossover but for something that one would call canon material, it’s just...nope. 

Trying to shove, at times, four different seemingly important narration pieces into one episode time frame is not a good thing; especially since they didn’t start that way. The only pros that I can see that they have tried to expand somewhat and give time to the rest of the bridge crew and maybe Pike (though they are trying too hard to make him a polar opposite of Lorca). 

That being said, is every season going to have a captain change? Because we know Pike is not going to be here for more than season 2. Also, the red angel thing? It will probably be some crew member or use-one-time-and-throw-away character we may have heard of or seen once but more likely Michael Burnham because everything and everyone seems to spin on all their axes around her. Personally, the design somewhat reminds me of Iconians that I have seen in STO game. But I seriously doubt it will happen. Connecting it to Spock and him having a la Motion Picture experience but like 10x over is just...eh? 

Related to Spock, what is it with writers trying to make Sarek look like a heartless douchebag of a parent and the rest of the Vulcans racist, xenophobic and apparently ableist assholes? Like, how did they even come to that decision? We went from enigmatic people who prefer to employ logic and supress their rather strong emotions, to somewhat layered society where all is not shinny and perfect as they would have liked to project to intergalactic society to blatantly being asshatsTM right next to Klingons? Just so Amanda can ‘drag’ Sarek and the rest of the society for like five minutes? 

And don’t get me started with Klingons. Now they apparently more-less have hair so they resemble LOTR orcs even more so, they still like to eat flesh of their enemies and I feel like L’Rell is gonna be seeing chopping block very soon. Plus the whole L’Rell and Voq’s son thing written just to get ‘Ash Tyler’ off of Qo’noS was just unremarkable. I forgot the baby even existed by the time I started the next episode. 

Which leads me to Ash Tyler and Section 31. What? That is in no way a good combination. That man needs time off and extensive therapy; not being involved with a bunch of paranoid backstabers and wannabe genocidal maniacs. Section 31 has never ever been a good thing and I hope writers are not expecting people to cheer for that particular organization as if they are good guys. They are not and will never be. Also, that dumbass comment Cornwell gave to Pike about ‘nation building is messy is never pretty’ just had me facepalming so hard.

I mean, I would ask why she is even commanding Section 31, but this is the woman who was all for genocide of Klingon people just like a week ago so I guess those are waters she’s is comfortable swimming in. (The only thing I am not sure about her is if this is her pre or post POW character trait.)

Also, though I can realize they did it solely for purpose of creating drama because they don’t know how to effectively do it otherwise, the dick measuring contest between Ash and Pike was just fucking dumb and why they decided to have PIke as a captain who everyone can walk all over like 98% time confuses me. I cannot imagine Picard, Sisko, Janeway or Kirk tolerating Ash’s nigh constant disruptive behaviour for one hot minute. Hell, Archer had Malcolm Reed, a man he had known for years, relieved of duty and thrown in the brig after covering up the fact the Klingons had Phlox kidnapped via Rigelians. 

So Pike being absolutely wary of the man he does not know and is by all accounts a murderer now working in black ops organization, that has very little to no oversight and involves killing and sabotage as routine jobs, is entirely justified. ‘You owe me an explanation.’ Huh? I just knew that seventh episode would have Ash and Pike ‘reconcile their differences’ but honestly, I would have had Ash in the cooling tank and in therapy session which still wouldn’t excuse him acting like a jackass on the bridge of all places. Like weee, here’s my black badge which means I am entitled to every piece of information that may or may not be related to the mission at hand. No. 

What exactly are they hoping to do with his character? Obviously, not to get him or anyone else better because counselor is simply error 404: Discovery counselor not found. This section 31 thing should not last until the end of the season. Should not have happened in the first place but oh well. Are they aiming to have some sort of retcon happen via red angel thingy? Perhaps trying to reintroduce the whole time war story thing? If they are, it’s a messy, shoddy way of doing it. I guess it will be show by the end of the season. Also, they might want to work on Michael experiencing/doing something other than angst.

#star trek #star trek discovery #it was a mess and it is still a mess #it doesn't say much that your probably most interesting characters are yet again a captain and a killer from mirror universe #right next to sylvia tilly and paul stamets

[neurodivergent-media]

Review of “Neurotribes”

Neurotribes (full title: Neurotribes: the legacy of autism and how to think smarter about people who think differently) is a non-fiction book written by Steve Silberman first published in 2015.

The main purpose of this book is documenting the history of autism and the changing attitudes surrounding autism and autistic people through time, how autistic people have been treated by society and how autistics themselves have influenced society and culture, before and since it's "discovery". The book also examines the rise of autistic culture the neurodiversity movement.

The strongest points on this book is that it does very well what it says on the tin - it covers the history of autism in immense depth, including how it was discovered in two different parts of the world at a similar time - Kanner in the US, Asperger in Austria. (It's interesting to note that Asperger noticed that some characters in popular culture at the time possessed many traits of "his" condition - such characters we now called "autistic coded"). The book also covers, the history of oppression and mistreatment of autistic and similarly disabled people, including forced institutionalisation, the eugenics movement of 20th Century USA and the genocides that took place in Nazi Germany.

The book is perfect in detailing why the myth of the "autism epidemic" and the relation between vaccines and other environmental factors and autism  is absolutely false. I feel like if any person who shares such views needs to read those parts of the book (particularly the chapter "Pandora's Box") - their eyes would be opened.

The last two chapters looking at the neurodiversity movement were also enjoyable, especially after reading primarily on how terribly autistics have been treated for decades, as well as the parts of the book which examined autistic people’s influence on society and culture (primarily in the chapter “Princes of the Air”).

The first chapter, "The Wizard of Clapham Common", was the one I personally found the most interesting, including details of the life of brilliant British scientist Henry Cavendish who would almost certainly be diagnosed autistic in today's society - he wore the same outfit, had rigid routines and severe social anxiety (once a stranger who was a fan of his showed up and started talking to him and praising his work and as soon as Henry got the chance he just bolted). He contributed greatly to many fields of science but is rarely known or credited partly due to his secretive, solitary lifestyle.

Some downsides that I can think of were: although detailing autistic/neurodivergent people's contributions to society is always a good thing, I felt like in some ways it missed the point that even if an autistic doesn't have a special ability/skill that doesn't mean autism is something to be eradicated, and disabled people in general do not need to be "productive" in order to be allowed to exist and enjoy life.

Also, While I was glad that it mentioned that autistic girls and people of colours, as well as people from poor backgrounds, are underdiagnosed, I feel it could have gone into further detail regarding that than it did. I also wished it could have looked more into the long-term harm that ABA and similar therapies cause autistic people.

Another thing that bothered me was in one of the neurodiversity-related chapters (”In Autistic Space”), part of it detailed Temple Grandin's life and work but did not detail some of her more problematic sides that have been discussed by autistics previously. It did quote her saying that two higher-passing autistic people having kids can lead to the child being born with more "severe" autism, but the narrative did not seem to frame that as an inaccurate and ableist thing to say (despite the book frequently challenging the existence of a supposed dichotomy between "low" and "high-functioning"). Maybe this is just me, but I also felt like the book veered on being too sympathetic to allistic parents at times, even when they wanted to cure and use abusive therapies on their children.

Overall, I would recommend this book, so long as you can stomach the potential triggers described below (I cried once or twice reading it). It is a genuinely fascinating read and I would  recommend it to any neurotypicals/allistics that wish to learn more about how autism has effected society and vice versa, and to understand into how badly we were, and still are, treated.

As one might expect, this book has a range of many potential triggers. As previously mentioned, the most obvious are the details into the eugenics movements in 20th Century USA and Nazi Germany, descriptions of life in concentration camps and the hatred, mass slaughter and mistreatment of the disabled and Jewish. The development and use of ABA is also detailed - including its use on "sissy boys" (thus there is also homophobia and potentially transphobia) (in the chapter: "Fighting the Monster"), and the general abuse, mistreatment and murder of autistic and otherwise disabled people. General ableist attitudes and misconceptions of autism and disability are also covered in great depth, in recording the changing perceptions of autism throughout history. This books also examines racist attitudes of people and establishments - often connected with eugenics and institutionalisation - to a lesser degree.

#neurotribes #actuallyautistic #reccommendations #autistic recommendations #reviews #books #non-fiction #representation #autistic representation #mod violet

[gillzilla]

*Spoilers for last season of BoJack Horseman below*

I’m having a lot of thoughts and feelings about the ending of BoJack Horseman that I really just need to share. I’m feeling angry and annoyed about how the series ended because of comparisons to how Ben Solo/Kylo was treated, even though the characters and stories they’re in are obviously also quite different. I’m annoyed that the show didn’t go deeper into pointing out how the rehab industry didn’t help BoJack at all and that he never even saw a real mental health professional. Wouldn’t that be the solution to so many of the issues he’s gone through? I guess that’s considered a boring solution in stories, especially movies and shows. But I don’t think it sends a good message to ignore something that can actually help someone to heal when a story has done such a good job thus far showing mental illness, trauma, abuse and addiction so honestly and fully. There’s a strongly individualistic message in how BoJack is treated at the end of the final season that I think is a bit victim blamey. BoJack made lots of bad choices and he did hurt a lot of people, but the show has been so great up to this point at showing what happened to him throughout his life that led him to where he is now, including the inter-generational trauma within his family, his extremely abusive parents, and just how shitty celebrity culture and the Hollywood sphere are generally. I feel a bit played with honestly because, similarly to Ben’s story, I spent years following Bojack’s really well-executed story of inter-generational trauma, mental illness, and addiction, and growing to love the character, when in the end he was kind of victim blamed and basically told he didn’t pull himself up by the bootstraps well enough, even though society and culture, particularly celebrity culture, failed him so many times.

For a show that has been so excellent at analyzing difficult and important societal and cultural issues up to this point, it didn’t address stigma against, lack of education on, and access to mental healthcare nearly well enough. The show seemed to end on just blaming BoJack for continually “making too many wrong choices.” That is an ableist message because mental illness and addiction are illnesses, they’re not things that can be overcome with individual willpower. Additionally, the message that the show almost went with, that the character could only be “redeemed” through suicide, is a very harmful one. This is the same message that was sent with Ben’s death. This goes against my value of restorative justice, which some people might be averse to, but really, we have a big question hanging in the air right now of, when people make mistakes, are they supposed to just be thrown away like trash? Is there any space for people who make mistakes to repent and go on to lead healthy lives? People who believe in retributive justice probably say, they should just be thrown away. This goes down to the fundamental ideologies that we believe in at this point, but I honestly do believe in the dignity of every person and the right of every person to be given the chance to change.

I think that’s better for society too, because it says that there is always hope for people to change and it brings more complexity to our definition of what “bad” or “evil” is. Even in the damn second to last season of BoJack, Diane tells him that there isn’t such a thing as a “good” or “bad” person, it’s our actions that matter. That’s exactly what I believe in, and it gives all of us a chance to change every single day. Supposedly “good” people can do really messed up things that they then aren’t held accountable for because they’re too “good” (or too privileged) to do something like that, while a lot of supposedly “bad” people have often been directed down that life path due to the effects of systemic oppression and trauma. Similarly to Ben, I saw myself in BoJack, so these messages upset me. Even though I never did anything as “extreme” as either of them, I went through a lot of similar shit. I hate the message that people who aren’t the perfect victims are irredeemable.

Also, these characters both being male has something to do with this as well. Trying to figure out how to deal with male perpetrators of abuse and/or violence has been a big issue the last few years particularly. I absolutely believe that men who are abusive need to be held accountable for their actions, but what does accountability really mean? Do we throw these men in prison and leave them to rot or do we do the braver thing of treating them as humans, giving them the space, opportunities and resources to heal, and engaging with them about what brought them to that point where they committed those acts? Yes, individual choices and actions absolutely matter and I’m not trying to be an apologist for abusers, but I think it also matters to determine what led abusers to that point, because often societal and cultural issues play a role. Perhaps that person went through a lot of trauma, abuse, poverty, etc. in their life. Even if people don’t care about the individual abuser and just fully condemn him, wouldn’t it be better if society was more focused on preventing people from getting to the point where they commit those acts by helping them resolve their struggles than dealing with them retroactively after they’ve committed the acts and harmed others? Also, we have to admit that patriarchy fucks up men too, even as it gives them privilege. It is an inherently dehumanizing system that causes them a lot of trauma. Perhaps by diving into that more, more men could recognize the toxicity that patriarchy brings to their own lives and focus their energies on dismantling it.

Additionally, I don’t like the message that a lot of media outlet reviewers seem to be spinning that they liked that all of BoJack’s friends parted ways with him in the end because that was what he “deserved.” On one hand I understand that it’s important to show people setting healthy boundaries, since they felt he was just too toxic for them and that was the healthy thing to do. However, how is BoJack ever supposed to heal from all of the tremendous trauma he’s been through and bad choices he’s made without anyone to support him? Isolation is a major issue for people with mental illness and it makes recovery much harder. This adds to the series finale’s message that people going through mental illness can just be thrown away like trash, mainly I think because the show didn’t deal enough with the stigma against mental health conditions that often leads a lot of people, especially men, not to seek therapy. Honestly, the show didn’t promote therapy at all really, it kind of gave the message that therapy is silly and useless since it never resolved the idea from prior seasons that BoJack thought therapy was useless, and Diane didn’t seem to really benefit from her time in therapy during prior seasons at all either.

I found that I disagreed with some aspects of Diane’s story in the last season as well. It is important to break down stigma against taking antidepressants, but it’s also important to show that medication is usually paired with therapy to really get the help one needs. Sometimes medications can just help to manage symptoms rather than really getting to the root of the problem, which one can really only do in therapy. Obviously, everyone’s treatment plan should be individually tailored to what they’re going through (and they should have a say in that with their mental health professional), but I think this society is often obsessed with “easy fixes” for mental illnesses by just giving people medication, but doesn’t recognize that mental health conditions are different from physical conditions in the sense that they are more complex to fully treat (and therapy gives space for working through that complexity). Diane even worries whether she’ll have to be on antidepressants for the rest of her life, which alludes to the fact that medications can sometimes just manage symptoms for people rather than get to the root of the problem, which I really think you can only do in therapy. But that issue was never fully taken up in the show.

In sum, these are just some of the thoughts I’ve had since finishing the series yesterday. I’m sad because I feel that this ending is going to taint the way I view the whole series going forward. Similarly to Ben, BoJack has been shown to have suffered quite a lot throughout the series and to have been failed numerous times by our society’s lack of understanding about addiction and mental illness and by Hollywood culture. For someone that related to him, even though I never thought I would when I first started watching this show years ago, it’s sad for me to see this character and the complex themes that were addressed around him being treated this way in the end.

#bojack horseman #ben solo deserved better

[thefriday5]

August 31, 2018

It’s the first week of classes over here and I am BEAT. We have new departments located in the library this semester, and the increased traffic and questions about who is where have certainly bustled up the place. I did get to thinking about children’s book dogs and Clifford is one of my favorites (along with Henry and Mudge). Who are your favorite children’s book characters?

Hyperbole and a Half, Allie Brosh. This is an old book and I break it out every now and then because it's so funny and also relatable about mental illness, motivation, and simple-minded dogs. Highly recommend!

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before, Netflix. Not a reading but I don't care because this movie was CUTE. A high school rom-com lovingly shot and with excellent source material. I hope Netflix keeps adapting good books (Tamora Pierce fantasy miniseries pls).

100 Ways to Support People with a Chronic Illness, Broadly. “9. Just as a rule: Believe people with chronic illnesses! I can assure you that they are not exaggerating. And they are definitely not using their illness to get out of commitments or get attention. If anything, they are probably minimizing what they are going through, especially if they are a woman.”

and “95. Avoid ableist language. Hearing words like “sick,” “crazy,” and “lame” used pejoratively can hurt people with longstanding symptoms.” I have incorporated two new words to replace crazy in my customer-service-living vocabulary: bananas (thanks to my first library boss Aimee), and buckwild. I feel like both words are more vivid anyway, along with being less alienating.

The Distracted State of the Union. “The average computer user of good faith who seeks regularly to read the news online now has to exercise the type of critical acumen that scholars of literature have always reserved for the analysis of texts: an intense engagement that seeks out secret meanings, hidden biases, hidden agendas.” I developed a new presentation to talk to first year students about the “information landscape,” how the puzzle pieces of scholarship, popular magazines, hugely-popular blogs, and straight-up hoax sites all compete and come at you with the same air of reliability and reason. I'm only picking at the surface of this subject in my talk, but to me it feels like one of the most essential skills in our century. The instinct to say, when you're reading something, “Who wrote this? What's their goal in writing it -- to convince me? To educate me? To scare me or make me mad? To sell me something?”, I feel this is a vital skill.

What to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed By Your Workload, HBR. Love the suggestions for healthier self-talk regarding workload: “Even though I have many things to do, I can only focus on the one thing I’m doing right now. I’ll feel better if I do that. I would prefer to be able to get more done in a day, but I’m going to accept what I’m realistically able to do. (This phrase utilizes a common cognitive-behavioral therapy technique where it’s recommended people swap out their “shoulds” for “prefer” or “could” in order to relieve anxiety and feel more empowered).” Sometimes I think pieces like this are a little unfair because of how much responsibility they put on the individual to fix their situation, but there's a lot of great stuff in here! The reality is you might not be able to get your boss to ease your workload, or get the extra support or resources you need at work, and things like this might help you re-frame your workload so that you can thrive.

Have a good weekend, friends!