#Also you have so much control I'm such a gremlin that I always want to immediately post what I've written the moment I finish

[wordstome]

Last night I did what I always do when I can’t fall asleep: think about fictional men. Here’s a list of wonderful stories written by incredibly talented people who have helped me think about fictional men by providing the most delicious playgrounds.

In the interest of keeping my recommendations brief, I'm going to talk about what I liked about the fic instead of summarizing what it's about. To know what it's actually about you're just gonna have to click through and read the fic <3

(and just in case anybody's gotten lost, this is all COD, mostly modern MW)

✦ complete ║ ➠ ongoing

König

✦Just Friends by @kneelingshadowsalome Salome is so good at capturing a very unique interplay between König’s social awkwardness and his deep, dark, nasty inclinations. He’s so feral and enjoyable to read, and the sheer force of his desire for Engel is downright intoxicating. I find it difficult to describe how much of an impact Just Friends has had on me and my portrayal of König, to be honest. There's a reason why three of Salome's fics are on this rec list.

✦Fatum Nos Iungebit by kneelingshadowsalome Five words. König with his cock out. That's it. Okay, but in all seriousness, I love his character applied to this setting. All the raw visceral violence a König could ever want, a pretty little lady in his bed—he's so boyish and happy in this au it brings me such joy. The way their relationship between him and Fee develops is so natural and so sweet. Please for the love of God read this.

➠Cat/Mouse/Den by @papaver-decervicatus The chase. The pursuit. The adrenaline when Mouse dances out of König's reach once more. I'm a little biased because I adore Julius and Jenny (I could call her Lucretia but the double J names make me giggle) as ocs already, but CMD is so, so well written. The tension, the flirting, the scene where he catches her falling out of the tree?! As I said in a reblog, I shrieked. You know when you're reading something that's so good you want to bite down on it and shake like a dog with a toy? (No? Just me?) That's how I feel about CMD.

➠Anything by @darklordofthesimp Anything, in only 7 chapters (they are hefty, don’t get me wrong), has turned König and Birdy’s dynamic from “THIS MOTHERFUCKER HAS IRREVERSIBLY SCARRED MY BODY AND MY BRAIN, AND I CANNOT TRUST HIM” to “these two are going to get married someday”. (author if you’re reading this, I say that not as an expectation or prediction, but as a vibe reading.) This one is for the hurt/comfort girlies. Also, shoutout to all the other stories set in the Anything-verse. Sunshine and Ghost are just soooo *grips my hand in a fist so hard it shakes*

➠If you need to be mean by @gremlingottoosilly This mostly serves as a blanket recommendation for all of Gremlin’s fics. I found If you need to be mean, and then visiting Gremlin’s author page was like opening a treasure chest. Want to be König’s pampered, (unwilling) little housewife? That’s If you need to be mean. Want a harem fic with almost all of the COD MW men? Gremlin has two, both with their own little spin to keep it fun. Do you want König to keep you in his basement or hunt you down as a serial killer? Gremlin's got it. Monsterfucker? Gremlin has that too. Special shoutout goes to 1295 kilometers. I think about fucking König on a train a lot now.

➠Break my mind by @kaiasdevotion (kaiasown on ao3) There’s no way around this. This fic has the most unhinged, kinky, downright dangerous smut I’ve read in the cod fandom so far (positive). Just Friends König is the metric by which I judge all other Königs’ nastiness, and Break my mind König is tipping so hard on the “unhinged horny violent freak (affectionate)” end of the scale he’s about to fall off. I don't know if you guys have noticed, but I've developed a taste for writing/reading from König's perspective, and he's so chillingly deranged in the most controlled way possible during the chapters from his pov. Incredible writing. Chefs kiss.

✦Experimental by @uhohdad (surgeoninspace on ao3) Alright, enough of just König being nasty. He is still nasty in this one, but he’s not the only one who gets to have a little fun and be a total creep. Our little scientist here is a grade A pervert, and I was delighted the whole way through. The most important thing I need in a fic is suspension of disbelief, and Experimental takes an unrealistic, maybe a little bit silly situation and makes it so believable. Everybody reacts the way you would expect them to, even if the scenario they're in is A Lot.

➠Little Mouse and Rotes Madchen by @sprout-fics I'm combining the recommendation for these two because while they are both very much distinct, unique fics, I love them the same way. Sprout is such an engaging writer, and the internal dialogue of her characters is so well done. It reveals their personality, motivations, and internal conflicts without being overly expository. Do you guys remember that post I put on the König bible about instant obsession? It's this inexorable attraction borne from obsession that sticks me to Little Mouse like a glue trap. (Is that too morbid?)

✦Hot in Sarajevo by @50cal-fullauto Rags' König characterization post is on my Königcore bible, for very good reason. They get it. König is a feral dog forced to live as a man and loves like a total maniac, emotionally and sexually. I marked Hot in Sarajevo as complete but I don't know how many parts there are going to be, and frankly, I do want more. However, if you're going to only read one part (which. why would you do that??? read both.) I recommend the second part. I want to write love like that. Goddamn.

Ghost

Yeah, this list is a little bare bones right now. I'm gonna get back to it, I promise.

✦Anhedonia by kneelingshadowsalome The way. Salome takes the "I would take a bullet for him but he's so cold to me" premise and then flips it entirely on its head for the second part is so important to me. The way Simon craves the reader is like human catnip. I reread this fic all the time.

Keegan

✦For the Weak and Weary by @halcyone-of-the-sea Read this if you want to believe in true love. That's all. Go on now.

Multiple

✦Easy by @danibee33 When people say "I wish this were a book!" about fanfiction, they usually mean it in a "this is good enough to be published by the traditional publishing industry" way. When I say I want Easy (and Diablesa) to be a book, I mean it in a "I want to get this story bound in a beautiful ass cover and keep it on a shelf so I can take it down and reread it whenever I want" way. I don't want the traditional publishing industry to get their claws in this, because it's perfect as it is. This fic is so wild and fun, and the character moments are so special and well done. Do yourself a favor and savor this one.

➠@ghouljams's entire blog [masterlist] "What do you mean someone's entire blog" YOU HEARD ME. Those aus are some good shit. Good characterization, delicious premises, love the group effort of it all. To absolutely nobody's surprise, my favorite couple is König and Bee from the cowboy au (ditzy but well-meaning and competent in her own way woman x big strong man who is obsessed with her and maybe also creeping on her, my beloved), but I also have a fondness for Ghost and Die from demon darlings au. Trust me on this one. Dig into those masterlists babey.

#ficrec #cod #mw2 #cod mw2 #cod ghosts #König #König cod #konig cod #König x reader #konig x reader #simon ghost riley #keegan p russ #keegan russ #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #keegan x reader #keegan russ x reader #navigation: fic recs

[cinnamonest]

Yandere Profile - Mika

I have this rare condition where when a boy is soft and shy I reflexively must make him a horrible little deranged gremlin and then subject others to the horrors I have created, it's incurable I'm afraid

//yandere, dubcon/sorta noncon, somnophilia, abduction, descriptions of psychological problems, very brief/vague potential emetophobia trigger

---------

What are they generally like? Lucid, aware? Obsessive? How do they behave?

In addition to his obvious shyness and timidness, the primary characteristic that defines Mika's behavior with you might come as quite a surprise to anyone who knows him: Mika has low impulse control.

Not a trait you'd expect, nor is it what most who know him would ever think of him. He often gives off quite the opposite impression, being a very diligent worker and often refraining from the unsavory behaviors many of his peers engage in.

But, see, it's not something that's ever really been an issue. That's the thing — this lack of impulse control is not so much a reflection of his character, and more so due to the simple fact that for the majority of his life, he has never had very strong impulses, and whenever he does, it's never to do anything morally wrong.

He's always been good-natured and benevolent, always wanting to please people and help people, and can't recall a time where he's ever really wanted to do something that harms someone. Even typical human nature impulses like stealing or lying don't really come to him, he's just that naturally sweet and compassionate and morally upright. His impulses are all good impulses, such as impulses to help people, impulses to apologize when someone is inconvenienced.

He's never really done anything malicious or harmful or selfish, and has never had to even learn impulse control, because he's never had an impulse to do anything bad.

Until he does. And when that happens, it's going to become a serious problem very quickly.

Still, that doesn't mean he has zero hesitancy, or no limitations to how far his impulses will go before, under certain circumstances, fear or ethics stops him. Rather, Mika has this back-and-forth, push-and-pull duality between impulse and hesitancy. Sometimes the hesitancy and nervousness has control over his actions for various durations of time before impulse takes over, and sometimes one or the other wins out. Oftentimes, he has almost amusing contradictory behaviors, where he has something he refuses to do and something he'll do without hesitation, where the two things seem to be at odds in severity — some minor offense he tenses and shakes his head at even the thought of committing, alongside some very serious offense he goes through with without a second thought.

In terms of how he initially interacts with you, though, you barely know Mika exists. And frankly, he prefers that.

You had one singular interaction. It didn't last more than a few seconds. A very short, simple, typical interaction — he was carrying a whole armful of various objects to drop them off in another room of the headquarters, dropped one. Turned back to grab it, but by the time he did, you were standing there, having picked it up, holding it out. Smiling.

Here, I got it.

You set it back in his arms, gave a quick no worries, it's fine! when he began to apologize, and turned around and walked off before he could say another word. It was no more than a few seconds. You've probably all but forgotten about it by the end of the day.

But he doesn't forget. You seemed very nice. Nice people give him some conflicting feelings — sure, it's pleasant, but people being nice to him also makes him very uncomfortable at times. Being subject to much attention, even positive attention, can be anxiety-inducing. People looking at him, people having expectations of him, having to try to successfully navigate a conversation without messing up and being awkward somehow, it can be exhausting, even.

Your niceness is no different. Pleasant and appreciated, but somehow discomforting at the same time, a nervousness over potentially doing something wrong. Did you hear the last "thank you" he said, or was he too talking too quietly? What if you didn't and now think he's ungrateful or rude? What if his hair or clothes were disheveled at the time and he didn't notice? There's so many possibilities by which something could be wrong, and it eats away at him.

From that day forward, he always notices you whenever you're nearby. The two of you never interact, you're in an entirely different field of work than him, but he does spot you once every few days or so, usually at a distance.

Don't expect anything more than a distance, though. Mika does pretty much all of his obsessing like that — a ways away from you, quietly observing. It starts as a mere fixation, he simply focuses on you when he happens to see you, but doesn't seek you out. Just watching, observing. He finds himself feeling oddly warm, this tight feeling in his chest. There was one time your eyes met and you smiled at him and he thought he might actually have felt his heart stop for a second.

He's self-aware, at least on this matter, doesn't need anyone to inform him that the flustered feeling and finding a person very pretty is quite obviously a matter of attraction. Just acknowledging that, though, fills him with a horrible feeling of embarrassment. He wouldn't stand a chance, he tells himself. You would never return the sentiment. He has no right to feel this way, and yet he does, and he can't make it stop. Soon he finds himself actually seeking you out in his spare time, finding spots to watch over you. The thought of trying to actually talk to you honestly doesn't even cross his mind. He's sure he'd panic and say something awkward, if not possibly even pass out. So that's definitely a no-go.

His mind does briefly consider the idea that he could try to distance himself and see if he stops thinking about it, which would alleviate him of all the nervousness... but this is where the impulse issue comes in. He considers it, maybe casually half-heartedly decides to do that, but even if any effort is put into trying to stay away, it's immediately broken by the compulsive urge to go find you.

I really should just go home...

So he thinks. But he doesn't. His feet don't even slow down or hesitate as he makes a direct line for where he's pretty sure you'll be at this time.

It progresses. It becomes more frequent that he seeks you out. One day, he watches you from across the room as everyone gathers to eat, they hand out paper cups with water to some people... and he watches you get up to throw yours away when you're done, stand up and leave and... once more, he seems to move without really consciously intending to do so. A few seconds and he's across the room, taking one quick glance over his shoulder to be sure no one is watching before grabbing it and pulling it back out.

This does strike him as odd, once he's walking back home with it in hand. That was definitely a very strange thing to do. He just thought about how it had your mouth on it, and his hands and feet seemed to develop a mind of their own... but now that he has it, there's no point in throwing it away, so he might as well keep it...

While he's self-aware of his feelings, it takes a little while before it registers with him how abnormal the extent of those feelings is. A few more of incidents like that one, where he notices that a certain actions was a little odd, before one day it hits him that he's done quite a few of those recently, actions and choices that seem strange and bizarre. Every single one of said occurrences pertains to you in some way. He makes the connection, he knows it's weird and possibly indicative of unhealthy attachment, but doesn't know what to really do with that information.

He tries to stop doing it. He really does. He tells himself it's weird and that he needs to stop doing those things, stop following you, stop constantly thinking of you.

He doesn't stop.

He did try, really. It just... didn't work. He told himself he wouldn't do anything further, but he just couldn't stop himself, couldn't repress the compulsion.

But it's not harming anyone, is it? So he rationalizes to himself, trying to make himself feel better after a long session of wallowing in shame. So while odd, it should all be okay, nothing bad will happen.

He's never had to deal with these types of feelings before. Never had to try to control himself from doing something that would harm someone, because normally, the very notion that an action would harm someone makes him feel averse to that course of action. He has very little to no experience in refraining or holding himself back from temptations.

It gets worse. Progressively becoming more and more intense and obsessive. He starts to feel other emotions, very negative ones, when watching you go about your day and interact with others. He's still self-aware enough to know that it's jealousy, and frankly he feels embarrassed for getting jealous over something so simple, it makes him feel like he's being immature and pathetic. And he knows he's crossed a line of acceptableness long ago, knows that it's obsessive, knows it's unhealthy. At first, he was able to lie to himself.

But he just can't make it stop.

Thus he begins to adopt what will become a defining trait of his, an interesting balance between lucidity and delusion. He can't outright admit to himself that his actions are ethically bad, because he'll feel too guilty, it would eat him alive. Yet, he initially doesn't want to face that guilt and admit the reality to himself in entirety, because that means the only solution is to stop and he doesn't want to have to stop.

He will try to delude himself, he just... usually sort of half-fails. He'll try to convince himself that his actions are solely altruistic, that what he's doing is selfless... but eventually he gives up, faces the truth he's been pushing to the back of his mind. Yet at the same time, he'll then try to balance it, a sort of moral bargaining. He'll admit to himself that his actions are selfish — but, it's doing good too. He's doing this because of his own urges, but it's not wrong to say that it is also for your own good, because he's watching over you and can protect you should something bad happen. Both can be true. Why think about it as an either-or matter? Taking this frame of mind significantly helps him cope with coming to terms with the selfishness of his actions. So on one hand, he's honest with himself, but he still throws in a few touches of delusional thinking to make himself feel better.

Mika also has a very bad habit of avoidance. With most situations, he's learned how to adapt to the normal world and can, if necessary, confront basic negative social situations, but he has this tendency to really avoid confrontations or social things that make him particularly uncomfortable, to a greater degree than most people. If he has a feeling someone is upset with him (but hasn't had it confirmed yet, or else he'd feel obligated to apologize and thus override the avoidance), he will go to great lengths to avoid confrontation from them. When he has to have a difficult talk with someone, he pushes it as close to the end of the day as possible, arguably making it worse due to dread.

And when he has some thought that makes him uncomfortable or guilty, he pushes it away. He can't push it out of his mind completely, but he tries as much as he can to simply avoid thinking about it.

Such is how his actions towards you become. At first he acknowledged it, and tried to fix it, but the more apparent it becomes that he can't stop himself, the more he adopts this mentality of avoidance. It's the only way he can cope with what would otherwise be a lot of self-directed frustration and guilt. He just avoids it.

He tries to not think about the fact that certain thoughts he has or certain things he does are unusual, or perhaps worse, would even be perceived as inappropriate. He's a people-pleaser by nature, tries hard to make sure no one is upset with him or dislikes him, and thus the thought of doing something that would be perceived that way makes his stomach churn — and thus, he only pushes the thought away even further, along with the alarming dread of the realization that said pushing is not a wise choice. He knows that, at least partially, this is him actively choosing a path that could have severe consequences, and that the thoughts he's dispelling are really his own sense of reason. But, of course, that thought gets cleared along with the others... not that this method can last forever.

He can just push any bad thoughts away, repeat lies to himself over and over until he starts to believe them in some sense, even if he knows they're not true deep deep down. While it certainly won't end well, for now, that's the only solution he has.

How likely are they to kidnap their darling? How quickly will they do so?

You'd actually be quite surprised at how quickly he'll resort to kidnapping. At first, he might seem like the type to never do so out of guilt or a strong desire for moral correctness, and while it's true that those sentiments are there and quite strong, that difficulty to retain his sense of inhibition comes back to bite him yet again. He's obviously not the sort of person who would do such a thing without shame or care, like some less ethically sound, more brazenly narcissistic, or more mentally unwell individuals might. No, the thought strikes him with a jolt of reprehension and guilt for even allowing that sort of thought, so he pushes it out of his mind.

It just sort of happens. The sort of thing one does where they're almost in a sort of trance or dissociative state, acting in an automated way to go through with something without much conscious intent. An absent-minded action here or there, perhaps with some actual intent to shift his mind into an auto-piloted state as he buys things, arranges things. As with everything else, even if he knows it's not true, he can tell himself little lies over and over, so that even though at this point he actively acknowledges what his desires are, he can present himself with other reasons for each step that soothe his unease... otherwise, if he didn't feed himself those ideas, he might not be able to bring himself to do it. He tells himself that that he went to another town to buy rope because he needed to take a long walk to clear his head, not so that the purchase would be less traceable. He makes up little what-if scenarios to rationalize why he's buying this or that, alternative uses for which it might hypothetically one day be useful. That he's moving to a new place of his own for Independence and all that, and not to have somewhere to store you.

See, that gives him the opportunity to back out. It stops him from having to acknowledge any determined commitment to the fantasies he's run through in his head, and thereby allows him to distance himself from any panic, guilt, or other negative emotion that would drown him if he were to resolutely and firmly commit to fulfilling said fantasy. He can allow himself some false sense of casual undecidedness, because if he acknowledges that there's really one sole reason he's getting these things together, it will eat him up internally.

Likewise, he never sets a specific date to do anything. That would be acknowledgement of intent, he can't have that. He just... gets the necessary things together, sets up all the arrangements with an absent mind, and waits.

There's no particular trigger, actually. Nothing that specifically sets him off or pushes him to make his move. Once more, it just happens. Without any real reason for that specific moment, he just finds his feet wandering, veering a different way than he initially intended to go. He's already memorized where you live and what your route to get there is, and has already absent-mindedly come up with three possible routes from your place to the one he's set up to be his from now on. He shuts down any conscious thought — who can say to what degree was that itself a conscious decision, if he really thought about it at all — and moves.

And such is how, within an hour or so, he finds himself standing to the side of his own bed, wide-eyed and perfectly still, staring down at your peacefully unconscious face, the rise and fall of your chest. It's not until then that it sort of comes crashing down on him all at once. Frankly, it's for the best that you're unconscious for the initial borderline panic attack and subsequent mental breakdown, because any interference from you might have made him worse. He breathes hard and fast, his body starts to shiver, his hands curl up so hard his knuckles go white, his eyes water up, he ends up stumbling over to the nearest trash bin and spends a half-hour too sick to move from the spot. Coming to terms with what has occurred — what he did — is enough to put him in a very bad state for quite some time.

But time passes, and while he's certainly not calmed down, the violently sick and tearful outbursts are soon over, and he finds himself merely sitting sprawled out on the floor, heavy breathing, face buried in his shaking hands as it all sinks in. There's a singular moment then and there where he takes a deep breath in and out, and forces himself to firmly acknowledge the reality of things... he knows he has to, at this point, because not doing so will make things fall apart, and then he's screwed if you get out. Now, he tells himself, he has to get up and move forward and live with his choices... and spend whatever time he has left before you wake up preparing and rehearsing exactly what he'll say to you. Yeah, that's a good start...

How difficult is it to escape from them? How do they keep you restrained? How do they deal with attempted escape?

He's very paranoid of the possibility for escape, so he goes all-out in terms of his measures. For starters, for a long while, he keeps you bound by one ankle to the bedpost — but it's leather, he went out of his way to make sure you'd be comfortable! Just to make sure you don't go wandering off. And, of course, adds a series of locks to the door from the outside.

The unfortunate thing for you is that he's also very precise and skillful in anything requiring mathematic-like abilities, and as such, the further measures he takes are very effective. It's not as simple as putting something heavy in front of the door, no, he goes out of his way to get down on the ground, measure the width and height of the door, the surface area it will move over when it opens, the distance to the nearest wall corner and the angle, and from there creates a simple mechanism out of basic materials that he can install and lock into place whenever he leaves, that touches the opposite wall and the door itself, making it impossible to open the door unless removed by someone on the same side as said mechanism.

And that's not all. He's got a snare trap he learned from hunting (loop made a bit bigger for a human foot, of course) set just beyond the door just in case, and every night when you go to bed, he always leaves the room for just a second to do something he refuses to tell you about when you ask, which is actually putting up some mechanisms above the doors so that if they open, it'll make a loud sound. Not that you really stand a chance of getting your ankle unbound and out of his arms anyway, but you know, just in case.

That's what most of his measures are, just precautions for all sorts of possibilities his brain comes up with, all the little things you could use or do. Which is why, in addition to setting up mechanisms to keep you in, he's also extremely careful about what you can get your hands on. He himself has had a lot of experience with situations where he had to get creative and use common everyday items to improvise for tools, so he's very familiar with the concept of makeshift items for purposes like lockpicking, heat conducting, even makeshift weaponry. Consequently, every time he considers giving you something or bringing you something, he runs the idea through his head to think of any possible means by which you may end up using it against him.

Ultimately, there are so many measures taken that even if you manage to get through one, the next will likely catch you, and any potential successful escape will undoubtedly require some trial and error lessons from previous attempts. Should he find you caught in one of said anti-escape traps, he frets over your condition, checking to see if it hurt you or something before rushing you back inside... but thereafter, he just gets quiet, sad, and pitiful-looking for a while. He waits for you to say something first, but if you don't, after a little while of silence he'll finally voice his feelings.

...I want you to be happy here, so... if there's something making you unhappy...

Or so he says, but your most likely complaints — that you want to leave, or want more freedoms or the like — will go in one ear and out the other, with him telling you he can't allow that (for your own well-being, of course!) and telling himself that there must be something else, some other way he can appease your desires without giving you what you actually want. The more he tells himself that, the more he can shove aside the gnawing pessimistic thoughts in the back of his head that you'll never get accustomed to him and never give in. That's not true, no. He'll find a way eventually.

How easy are they to trick, deceive, or manipulate?

If anything, you have trouble getting him to believe the truth. He's quite paranoid, and is always suspicious of everything, thinks everything is a potential lie.

Not that he's hostile about it. He's torn between his paranoia and not wanting to offend you by implying you're lying, so whenever you try to convince him of something, he works his way around giving you a direct statement in reply.

Well, I'll have to look into it myself...

I don't know about that...

Maybe we can pick back up on this conversation later, okay?

Trying (and not doing a very great job) to make it less obvious that he doesn't believe you, so you don't get upset. Although he makes it a bit too obvious considering that if it turns out you're right, he'll come back and apologize for not believing you, even though he was clearly trying to hide that fact beforehand.

He never acts on anything you say without going out of his way to check the validity of your statements. Sometimes this can get genuinely very annoying when he consumes unnecessary time doing so, especially because he also gets other bouts of paranoia and refuses to believe your reassurances. Like once when you made food for him (more out of boredom than anything), despite having done so dozens of times by now, this one particular time paranoia strikes and he pauses and asks if you did something to it.

No. Why, does it smell or taste weird?

No...

Then what's wrong with it? Why do you think that?

I just... I don't know...

There really is nothing wrong with it, he just has these intrusive worrisome thoughts and can't shake them. You keep reassuring him it's fine and he just refuses to believe you. He does this a lot with all sorts of things, randomly deciding that you're hiding something or have done something or are plotting something and reassuring him just won't work, he ends up taking all sorts of unnecessary measures to prevent whatever thing he thinks you're done or are doing that isn't actually happening.

How lenient are they? What privileges can you have, and what will you be denied?

Of course, he goes out of his way to do anything he thinks will win your favor or make you like him more, which usually includes using whatever money he has on him to buy as many things for you as he can. Anything related to something you like, some hobby that could occupy your time, or just generic, standard gifts like chocolate and flowers and clothes that he hopes will win at least some favor points.

Otherwise, he's actually not as lenient as you might expect due to sheer paranoia. Sure, he would like to grant your requests to go outside for walks or write to your family, he really would, and it makes him feel so awful and sick to deny you that, but he's just too worried. And as aforementioned, he's very careful about what you can get ahold of, surveys every items within your vicinity to ensure it can't be used for any harmful or unwanted purposes.

This means that your hobbies and requests are also often limited. You can do art, but only paint and wax utensils, no actual pens or pencils, too pointy and too much weapon potential. You can knit with very dull knitting needles, but no sewing or any needles with actual skin-breaking potential. And you can cook, just only while he watches, and no knives other than a butter knife. But... you can just let him do that, he'll gladly make food for you anyway (hope you like knight rations!), so there's no need for you to do so, so he says. Very obviously trying to deter you from a hobby he would prefer you not do out of fear you'll find a way to utilize what you have (what will you do? Boil water and throw it at him? Hit him with a metal pan?), but he allows it if it makes you happy.

What kind of rules do they have? What kind of punishment would they use?

They're more like requests, at least with how he says it.

Just stay in here and don't make any noise... please.

Um, please don't touch that... it's dangerous, I forgot to out it away, so... could you hand it over...?

Are you... ignoring me on purpose? I really wish you wouldn't do that...

But he realizes in a very short time that you do not fear or respect him in any capacity. Which he might have predicted, but it still hurts a bit. Logically, it makes sense, he knows he's perceived as a very meek person, and he knows that you have no real reason to see him as a force to be obeyed. He knows that in order to actually enforce behaviors, he needs to have you intimidated. He doesn't like the idea of making you afraid, but it may be necessary... unfortunately his attempts don't go over very well at first when you show defiance.

Oh yeah? Or what?

Or I'll, uh... I'll do something... bad....

Needless to say, you didn't seem particularly frightened.

Thus, when deciding how to address the issues of your behavior, he runs into a metaphorical wall, can't think of anything at all. Unlike taking you and bringing you here and following you and all those other behaviors, punishment actually does some harm and must be unpleasant for you, and he can't justify punishment to himself. He can't stand the thought of being cruel, or making you hate him, so for a while, he largely just lets you get away with violating the "rules" he sets...

...Until it occurs to him that he might be looking at it from the wrong perspective.

It ties back into his tendency to half-delude himself. Everything else he's done was for your own good, or at least he can rationalize it as such if he tries, even if he knows deep down that wasn't the primary motivation. It still helped you be together. And to keep you here, he has to take measures to ensure you don't leave, including reprimanding behaviors that aren't good for you and him. He wants to not have to do anything bad to you, but by doing so once or twice, you'll learn not to do the things you shouldn't, and he won't have to do anything bad. That's how parents and teachers and the like approach having to punish kids, right? Same idea. Thus, it's a temporary measure, if anything, it takes a lot of care for you to be willing to force himself to do it.

Still, he finds the thought of actually hurting you difficult. What he ends up coming up with is, essentially, deprivation. He read about something similar in a book once, that it was used as a psychological torture tactic at some point. Covering your eyes and ears, binding your hands and feet, and leaving you alone for hours on end. At first you're mad, he can tell you're jerking about and trying to rub the binds off. Then you go quiet, for some time. It's difficult for him to handle, he's constantly looking back at you to ensure you're alright.

It doesn't take as long as he expected. Within forty-eight hours or so, you reach a breaking point, you break down and start to shiver with whimpers and sobs. That's all it takes for him to bolt over to your side, pulling everything off as fast as he can and holding you close, apologizing over and over and assuring you that everything is fine. Look, he even had food ready because he was so concerned... so please don't be mad. It hurts him too.

How do they deal with rivals, or perceived rivals? Will they get rid of them? Will they kill them themselves, or find another way?

Much like with kidnapping, he's not unlikely to kill as you might think.

In the initial stages of stalking and following, he takes immediate notice of anyone you hang around a lot. Even from the very start, just seeing you speak to and interact with other people gives him an unpleasant pang of some very negative feeling in his chest, but the severity of it steadily increases each time he sees you interact with the same person.

After a very short time, he figures out who the people you're closest to are, and watches you with each day as you interact. He feels nauseous. There's a twisting, tight feeling in his stomach. A tightness in his chest. He recognizes it as an extension of irritation and resentment, and it doesn't take much though to recognize that, contextually, as jealousy. It makes him bounce back and forth between hurt and sadness and anger.

He feels bad for feeling that way, though. Jealousy is a bad thing, it's an immature and selfish emotion, so he's always believed. At least, that's how he used to view it when observing it in others, but it's an entirely different matter to experience it for oneself. Now he understands the ways he's seen people act in fits of jealousy, what he used to dismiss as unwell or hysterical individuals' behavior now seems so much more understandable.

Initially, he tries to just focus on watching you to ensure your safety and to ignore the feeling — predictably, based on already established tendencies, this does not go over well. The resentment he feels towards the other person swells with each passing day. So does the guilt that he feels for holding so much malice towards another person, but the guilt doesn't stop the malice itself. It just gets worse.

It's also frightening, in a way. He knows that he's developing these negative sentiments, knows it's not healthy, knows it can lead him to rash and potentially dangerous impulsive choices, and the thought that he might do something bad without forethought scares him. Being self-aware of it is almost worse than being purely deluded, because he's aware of decreasing stability, he's aware of the abnormality, he's aware that these sentiments could lead him to make choices that are awful and wrong and could have serious consequences, all the things that outright delusion would keep him blissfully unattuned to. This is especially true the worse it gets, when he starts to actually have brief images flashing through his head or intrusive thoughts come to his mind about how he could get rid of them, ways and means by which he could carry out such an act.

That fear has an upside, though, in that the sheer fear of consequence keeps him from acting upon the urges, at least for some time. See, with something like kidnapping, the evidence itself is gone as a part of the act itself. But murder? What would he do with the body? How would he dispose of it without being seen? Even as the strength of his guilt begins to wane, the uncertainty and fear restrains him enough to not do anything, to sit there and be forced to tolerate it, even if it makes him feel sick. If anything, continuous interaction with someone is just going to hasten getting abducted for you.

If he does end up killing, unfortunately, it's purely impulsive, and consequently not well-planned. It actually takes him a moment to even recognize what he's done — he stands there in a daze, looking back and forth at his hands and the body now slumped over or on the ground or at the bottom of a long fall or whatever method was taken, processing it as his mind catches up to his actions. It doesn't feel "real" at first, as if he can't accept it being the reality before him.

But when he does, he panics. A sort of panic he's never felt before in his entire life, even in the most perilous of situations. Thankfully, out of the two most common responses to this situation — run away or hide the crime — he takes the latter, opting to at least dispose of it before trying to forget about it. Like everything else he does, he'll certainly spend a very long time repeatedly rationalizing it to himself, telling himself it was his only choice or that they were dangerous to you and he was doing something good, so on and so on.

How easy is it to make them mad? What does their anger look like?

He's slow to truly anger, but he's not that slow to simply get upset. Perhaps the best word for how his emotions manifest would be frustration. Stressful things or rare cases of disagreements where he's very firm on his stance and can't simply bow his head and concede, overwhelm him very easily. He gets tense, fidgety, and depending on who he's interacting with, often intimidated. But if he gets frustrated enough, he starts to ball his hands into fists, arms tense and straight at his side while he tries to deescalate the situation, or, if he's really upset, stand his ground and make it clear he won't be dissuaded.

If you push him into a metaphorical corner and be as argumentative and hostile as possible, though, honestly, he's more likely to cry than anything. He just gets overwhelmed and frustrated and the emotions become too much for him to handle, and his eyes well up with tears and he bites his lip. He feels it coming on, though, and he's very adamant that you not see that, as he finds it embarrassing and thinks it would damage your image of him. Thus, he ends up just making a sharp turn around and walking off to another room, only to come back a while later. If you try to bring the subject up again, he just tenses up and tries to deflect from it, outright saying he doesn't want to talk about it anymore if you're persistent.

This can become something of an issue of avoidance, where he swerves his way around hard conversations and having to hear things he'd rather not. He continuously flees conversations he doesn't like, both out of not wanting to be seen getting emotional and also because it's his way of shutting you down and avoiding having to acknowledge some of the very valid points you have.

So they see you as above them, beneath them, or equal to them?

Saying that he sees you as "above" him doesn't really capture the exact sentiment that he has.

He does pedestalize you to some extent, which you might have expected, but actually, he's not really the type of person to be sensitive to or even put much thought into the "worth" or "value" of a person, for very logical reasons: there's no set factors or qualities that determine worth and value, it's all subjective, and therefore can't truly be defined. And if it can't be defined, it can't be quantified. It can change based on perspective and mood. What's the point of thinking of people and oneself based on a system so vague and unsteady?

Ultimately, it's not so much a matter of worth or pedestalization, rather, what he gets obsessive and neurotic over is need.

The power dynamic subtly woven into all interpersonal relationships. One always needs the other more. One always cares more. In the social network, that is what matters above all else, whoever "wins" and "loses" in that sort of mind game. And he's painfully aware that he's the loser here, that he needs you more than you do him. He cares more, he wants you more. Acknowledging it hurts, but he can't lie to himself on this matter.  At the same time, his mind goes blank when he tries to think of how to resolve the problem. There's really nothing he can do. He just has to hope that keeping you here makes up for what would otherwise be a vulnerability of his.

How determined are they for you to love them? How hard will they try to make it happen? Or are they content just having you?

He's incredibly determined, he just doesn't really know how to go about it. Mika has a very analytic, pragmatic brain, one that works well with concepts such as sentential logic, numerical functions and mathematics, and of course, cartography. Concepts with processes set in stone, laid out with a very clear way to arrive at a very specific solution or result. Things that are formulaic and linear.

Relationships between people are not like that. There is no perfect course of action guaranteed to produce the desired result. Everything is uncertain and uneasy, and that makes it such a nerve-wracking thing to deal with. At least he can try. There's not much more he can do, as much as he wishes there was some way to guarantee it.

Perhaps somewhat to his own detriment, in his perpetual attempts to alleviate his negative emotions and worry, when thinking of how to win you over, he sort of completely neglects to take the situation into account. That is, he completes dodges acknowledging the circumstances by which you're even here to begin with, approaches it as if you're in a normal situation and thus that normal things like gifts and kind words should work, avoiding any and all acknowledgement of the fact that having brought you here against your will is kind of an important part of it all, and one that has undoubtedly given you a very negative sentiment towards him. He feels sick even just letting his mind vaguely drift to thinking about what you must feel towards him, given his actions. No, he prefers to not think about that, and choose optimism instead, choose to believe his efforts will work eventually and there's definitely not some huge and possibly impossible obstacle to overcome. Lying to himself just feels better, you know?

Bonus: Is there anything that makes them unique, in comparison to other yanderes?

Firstly, his bargaining system. He develops this in his head, a two-part self-comfort mechanism where firstly, he goes back-and-forth rationalizing everything he does with some aspect making it less bad in his mind, and secondly, tries to pair every bad action with a good one. Since he has a strong sense of ethics and guilt, he can't just carelessly do what he does, nor begrudgingly accept himself the way others might. Thus, he spends a lot of time in deep thought, internally struggling with himself and dealing with his feelings. He will quite literally go down the list of everything he has done that he feels bad about, and think of a way it can be spun as something positive.

He bargains when thinking about potential actions as well, rationalizing, just spends so much time thinking about these things. He was always prone to overthinking, but now takes it to an extreme as he spends excessive amounts of time running over things in his head. That this action isn't that bad for this and that reason, this is acceptable because of these circumstances, so on and so on. He spends far more time obsessively going through these sorts of thoughts than others in his situation.

And then, he will literally tally the major offenses, and for each one, he does something good for you. Buys you something, does something for your sake, tries to perform some gesture to make you happy. He deals with his perceived sins on a one-to-one ratio, as if by doing a good thing, he somehow cancels out the bad things, or compensates for them, or something like that. He doesn't really fully understand the exact intent, but he knows that doing this makes him feel better.

There's also another unique factor: the initial impression he makes, the way you and pretty much anyone perceives him at first, begins to unravel over time. You begin to understand his true nature for what it is, even to a degree he himself has never done enough introspection to really understand. You gradually begin to realize that, even though it's subconscious for him, he's far more clever, deliberate, and even selfish than it would seem on the surface.

His tendencies for apologizing can get on your nerves very, very quickly, but you still pity him. At first, you don't think much of it other than him being burdened by guilt, you thought of him as someone with a very bad case of some deep psychological problem, someone who was a very good person deep down, but tormented by some uncontrollable condition or something. You feel bad for him, try to reason with him, thinking that his internal goodness, if invoked, will lead him to do the right thing.

But... perhaps it's because you hear his apologies so much that the words start to lose meaning, sorry becomes a jumbled set of sounds with no significance. And as your initial belief in the sincerity of his remorse wanes, the way you perceive him and his actions starts to shift as well. You have a lot of time to ponder things, and you start to feel like you're beginning to understand a darker element to his psychology that even he might not be fully aware of.

The constant apologies and meekness starts to seem to align with his intentions. That the apologetic sentiments aren't separate from or antithetical to his ultimate desires and goals, but rather, an active means by which he obtains those goals.

You notice little things you didn't before.

That even though he apologizes when doing something he thinks will invoke your anger, he doesn't seem shaky or hesitant. The words come out of his mouth, but his hands nonetheless move with straightforward, unhesitating intent. The illusion of this poor pitiful thing that just wants to love you seems to fade as you notice more, think about it more.

And one day, as he apologizes once more, in a moment of frustration, you narrow your eyes and snap at him.

No you're not. You just say you are to make yourself feel better.

Your words certainly have an effect. He stiffens, shakes his head, immediately begins to insist that's not true, that he really is sorry and that he really doesn't want to hurt you. He insists over and over. And the thought sticks with him, since he keeps trying to reassure you for days on end.

He seems so pitiful as he does that. Admittedly, even though you try not to, he's so very good at making you feel bad for him. You're the one kidnapped and held prisoner by this guy, yet somehow he manages to make you pity him so often. But that too starts to register differently the more you think about it.

Whether it's a conscious or subconscious behavior — likely the latter — that is the intent. He wants you to feel bad for him, and whether or not he realizes it — in fact, you're pretty sure he doesn't realize it, that it's just his nature and not a behavior he does consciously — deep down he's intentionally behaving as pitifully as he can. After all, if he's so meek and desperate to please that you can't help but feel bad for him, then you can't bring yourself to hate him, to be angry.

That, too, you finally one day bring up, on a day where you're in a particularly rough state of mind, having been drained of the fight you had left in you, melancholic and distant and tired. You're laying down, staring up at the ceiling while he's going on about some disagreement you've had, when he says it again, that he's sorry. You exhale a deep breath.

You turn your head towards him, too spiritually exhausted to summon any real anger, voice coming out flat and cold.

No. You want me to feel sorry for you so that you can do whatever you want, and I'll pity you too much to do anything about it.

Unlike your prior accusation of using it for self-soothing, this time, he doesn't immediately rush to defend himself. He just... freezes. He gets quiet. But his eyes are blown wide open, he stands there slack-jawed and still as several seconds pass by. As if your words aren't striking him as a jab at something he was aware of, but an expression of genuine shock, perhaps even realization.

It's quiet for a minute before he finally snaps out of the momentary stupor, shaking his head.

No, no, I just... I'm not...

And then he goes quiet again, looking down at the ground for a moment before taking a step back.

I need to... take a walk.

It's a quiet, uneasy voice you've never heard him use. He turns around and bolts out the door without a second of hesitation, lacking the usual five or so goodbyes he usually gives whenever he leaves. You're pretty sure you struck something he really doesn't want to think about... but in the end, given how he's such a slave to his urges, you doubt it will have much of an effect.

General perverseness: how sexual of a person are they? What’s their drive like? How touchy do they get? Do they have any reservations about sexuality?

He's very easily flustered and embarrassed even with topics of a normal and socially appropriate nature, so it only gets that much worse when it comes to anything that even most people would be embarrassed by. He blushes very easily, and it's very easily visible, which, along with general embarrassment, means he's developed a habit of covering his face with his hands whenever he feels embarrassment.

You'll have a somewhat difficult time even getting him to talk about anything of a sexual nature. If it's a joke or innuendo he'll awkwardly laugh it off, but if you actually try to have a serious conversation about it in some way, he goes red in the face, stammers and sputters and tries to give a one-word answer and switch to another topic.

Not that he doesn't have a sex drive or impure thoughts — he very much has both of those things, but as with his other behaviors, he's caught in between hesitancy and impulse, and for some time at least, his hesitancy and sense of moral wrong will keep him in check before that control breaks.

He hesitates for quite some time to touch you, even. He doesn't really keep a huge distance though, interestingly enough. As nervous as he is (and noting that he usually keeps physical space between himself and others), once he has you to himself, his self-control is just on the threshold of touch, where he can't stop himself from being in close proximity (even if it does make his heart race), but he's still too nervous to just reach an arm out and let your skin brush against his, to actually do something. So he stays close, provided you're actually being somewhat nice and non-hostile. It takes him a pretty long while to work up the nerve to actually touch, and if you're too cold and hostile towards him, it will delay it even further.

Once he has, though, he becomes very fond of touch. He likes to just wrap his arms around you and hold you close, can lay silently like that for quite some time. The more fond of it he becomes, though, the more sensitive to rejection of touch he gets, so after a while, if you keep swatting away his hands or jerking away from his touch, it will make him considerably more hurt than it did in the beginning.

How forceful are they? Do they care about your willingness?

Initially, he would be too nervous to really perform even if you were begging him for it, so even consensually that's not going to happen for a while. It takes time to get used to your presence right there, to come to terms with the fact that you're really here and he has you all to himself and it's not even a dream. That what was once so far away, always watched at a distance, is now right in front of him. He needs a while just to really process that and all the emotions that come with that realization.

Beyond that stage, though, as with his general behaviors, it's another issue of impulse.

Granted, he does manage to fight that one off for a long time, and will never bring himself to outright violate you, so it could be argued that he does, in fact, manage to summon some self-control on this one thing. It helps that he has a very "pure" view of you (regardless of your actual level of experience), and feels like he'd "defile" you by doing anything to you. He can ward off "bad" thoughts by instilling a reflexive sense of guilt the moment they emerge.

More importantly, he staves off any such thoughts the moment he considers what it would mean in regards to his own perception of himself. His set of values is borderline self-contradicting and somewhat amusing, where he somehow manages to rationalize everything else he's done, and doesn't see himself as a horrible person for the whole kidnapping and imprisonment thing, yet sexual violation is where he draws the line. He's not a terrible person or anything, but someone who does that definitely would be! He's repulsed by the concept of such individuals, so he could never bring himself to become one. He has a bit of a lack of self-awareness, wherein he believes that there's a world of difference between the two things, that his actions are just each a mild misdeed for complicated reasons, not a heinous crime like that would be.

Eventually, though, like everything else, it starts to slip. He starts bargaining with himself, running loops of logic to absolve himself of fault and diminish the perceived severity of a potential action. First he permits himself to have thoughts — it's just thoughts, it can't hurt you, you won't even know about it, so what's the harm done? By allowing himself to run through fantasies in his head, he'll get the urges out and lower the risk of making a rash choice of action, so it's actually a good thing.

It's only a matter of time before "thoughts" becomes actions. Sneaking a few glances as you shower or undress, letting his hands brush against you just enough to seem accidental, jerking off over you while you sleep, and eventually, it progresses to maybe giving you some medication to make you sleep a bit heavily, so you won't wake when he runs his hands over your body.

But it increasingly begins to feel like it's not enough. He hangs on this fine line balance where his sense of ethics and self creates a strong hesitation and wariness, like an automatic safety-trigger stop function on a piece of machinery, telling himself he can't do such a thing, while at the same time, the urge is so strong that once his inhibition is worn down, it comes out all at once like a broken dam.

But he still loves you, he still wants to respect you, he hates hates hates the thought of hurting you, so he uses whatever inhibition is left to refrain from actually doing something, and instead tells you. Asks you for help, even. Very openly and honestly.

I don't want to do something bad to you. But I can't... I feel like I'm going insane or something...

It's entirely truthful, but acting like it's just for your sake isn't entirely honest. Maybe, just maybe, it's partially with intention. Hoping you feel bad, hoping you take his request for help not in a way to help him stop, but to help him rid himself of the frustration and need. Maybe. And if you do, then it will all be okay. He's sure to emphasize that, if so.

What sort of kinks or fetishes do they have, or would they fill?

Voyeurism/Somnophilia

These are included together because they serve the same general purpose: allowing him to alleviate his needs without feeling like he's actually committing some act of violation.

It can't hurt to look. Especially when you don't see him. Watching you change, watching you stretch, his eyes run up and down your body as his own begins to feel warm and fuzzy. He used to just glance and be done with it, but finds his eyes lingering longer and longer.

There's also the time he got home a bit early, came in through the back quietly enough that you didn't hear, just to be greeted by the sight of you panting and arching, hand between your legs, arm draped over your eyes, perfectly uncovered. It caught him so off-guard and put him in such a stunned state that he ended up standing there, mouth agape for several seconds processing it, only to quietly sneak back just enough to be able to duck out of sight if necessary, and to be able to hide his own lower half, working himself to watching you do the same. Thankfully you didn't notice him, and he was able to play it off as coming through the door just right after you were done. You probably thought it was perfect timing. And it was... just not for you.

Eventually, as his urges grow stronger, he takes to touching you in your sleep. In a way, it's actually quite nice because it's a calming and reassuring way to interact with your body, no worrying about it being too obvious that he has no idea what he's doing. No embarrassment over blatantly staring, even if it's harder to see in the dark. And even despite your sleep, he still gets an exhilarating rush every time you respond to the touches, when you twitch and make the softest sounds.

Mutual masturbation/instruction

It sort of ties into the former, but with you consciously aware of it. He couldn't exactly say why he has voyeuristic tendencies, but even when you're actively aware of his presence, watching can be just as pleasurable as actively participating. He likes touching you too, so he usually combines the two, so it's not purely voyeuristic per se, but combines the element nonetheless. Basically this means he wants to watch you touch yourself in some way, preferably while he does in another — have his fingers buried inside you while you play with your chest, or the inverse, letting him suck on your nipples while you rub at yourself.

But even if he's not actively doing something, he just really, really likes seeing you masturbate. It takes a while for that inclination to be exposed, because he's very shy about it, but eventually, especially if you're fully receptive and accepting of him, he'll muster up the courage to outright ask for it.

Just... I just want to watch...

Well, of course, he jerks himself off the whole time, but he is watching. It seems like it would be easy to you at first, but it actually turns out that the act is very vulnerable and embarrassing in practice, more so than just sex itself. There's something far more vulnerable about being laid exposed and actively being watched with such intense focus, very different from two active participants.

After a while, he gets confident enough to venture into another desire: he starts telling you what to do, gives instructions. Leans down and murmurs into your ear to touch yourself a certain way or in a certain spot, to arch your back, roll your hips forward against his hand. The only downside is it's very hard for him to not cum before you do.

How do they feel about pregnancy or babies? Do they want them?

Funnily enough, it's not that he goes out of his way to achieve this, nor has an "accident" by avoiding proper precautions, nor does he adamantly avoid it. Instead, he just sort of forgets. The possibility doesn't cross his mind, he's too absorbed in feelings of euphoria and excitement and so many intense emotions that his brain sort of skips over the whole, you know, purpose the physical process even exists for on a biological level.

Thus it's more or less inevitable. As you can imagine, his first reaction is intense worry. And to be fair, that's a very normal reaction for the majority of people, not just those prone to worry like he is. It's a pretty big deal, after all. He has far more things to worry about than the average guy in his situation, though. How is this going to work? Are you going to try to use the kid to get away from him? Turn them against him? It bothers him so much it starts to make him feel sick, he loses sleep, he's so distant and spacey that people ask if something is wrong with him. He doesn't really have a plan to counteract any of his fears, so... he just has to go forward and hope for the best. It becomes a constant source of anxiety for him.

On the bright side, he'd be a top-tier father, both with how invested he is in the child's life as well as how good he is at the actual practical aspect of caring for and supervising a kid. He's constantly trying to help with any little thing that he can, always wanting to take burdens off of you. He's particularly invested in the child's education, starts eagerly trying to teach them how to read and write and the like from a young age. The only downside is that he's very paranoid and constantly worried, making up these worst-case scenarios in his head, to the point that you have to reassure him that certain things are normal and not an issue, or that it's okay that the kid has not made a sound in the last 20 seconds, that not every single cough or sneeze means something is horribly wrong, so on and so on.

What kind of (nsfw) punishments would they use?

If he gets desperate enough, if you're being repetitively disagreeable and hostile to him, the only thing he can think of is to make you need him. This goes hand-in-hand with his usual means of sensory and contact deprivation, but this time, he does it with orgasms. You'll get frustrated eventually, right? Even if you're not someone who has a particularly high drive, you'll inevitably become needy. At least, it's the best thing he can think of.

He's still apologetic and all, the whole time he forces your arms and legs apart, tying each ankle and wrist to a different bed corner. It never ceases to be borderline humorous, were you an onlooker and not the victim, how he will just apologize and apologize yet not waver in his actions for a single second...

This situation has the added perk of the fact that he gets to sit you upright and feed you, give you water. It's very sweet and intimate... at least, he thinks so, although you don't seem particularly happy about it. He still makes sure to leave you with little to occupy your time with, hoping that it will add to the desperation. You don't initially understand what he's after, but it becomes more evident when, after a day or so, he decides it's necessary to take some additional steps to expedite the process. Works his way between your legs and gets you wound up and frustrated with his fingers and tongue, pulling you so, so close, only to pull back at the last second, murmur something about how it's for your own good, and give you a kiss to your forehead before abruptly getting up and going off again. You quickly become irritated, kicking your feet against the restraints and snapping at him, saying a few mean words before relaxing your body with a huff.

With any luck, you'll hopefully have a very short tolerance for this torment... that's his hope, at least. He really wants you to just give in and love him and let him help you, and preferably be nice to him, that's all. And really, it's in your best interest to do so too, lest he start to slowly awaken to a realization that a part of him rather likes you tied and struggling like that... frankly, that's a metaphorical slumbering beast you do not want to wake.

What body parts of their darling do they like the most?

Your thighs and legs. No particularly specific reason that he's aware of, just the natural and innate sexual attraction to the other's sensual characteristics. He likes the softness and the warmth of your skin, the way your legs feel wrapped around his waist, the shape and curvature of your hips to your thighs and the back of your calves, the way running his eyes up and down your figure makes him feel all hot and tense and excited. Most of all, he especially likes laying his head on your lap, listening to you talk about anything and everything.

You can also use this to your advantage — come up to him when he's sitting down, sit beside him and swing your legs to rest over his lap and his brain will undergo a shutdown right there on the spot. It's rather cute.

#yandere genshin impact

[we-are-maladaptive]

Scraped Knees & Silk Sheets

Prince!Shouto ♡ Maid!Reader - Chapter 1 out of ??

-> You've always been kind, wanting nothing more then to spread warmth into a cold castle. When you were a child, you had given some of your kindess to a boy in need. It was because he recognized your kindess, that you live to tell this story today.

fiction contains: fluff, angst, romance, reader is almost executed because endeavor is a piece of shit, eventual smut, eventual pregnancy, assassination, pining, shouto is a little too in love with reader, shouto is also an extreme romantic, reader is almost killed again because, you guessed it, endeavor is a piece of shit, pining, izuku + bakugou are shouto's right hand men, little bit of violence chapter contains: nothing extreme worth mentioning, shouto n reader are so cute omgomg PROLOUGE

COMMENT ON THIS POST TO BE ADDED TO THE NEXT CHAPTER'S TAGLIST.

chapter word count: 4.4k

Flowers fall salubriously over the skies of Venora, the sun’s warmth spreading over the fingertips of anyone sauntering outside to perform their duties for that day…or to any of the many children that decided to skip around their village knee-level of the citizens with flowers in their hair, engaging in anything that excited their blooming curiosity. Venora is one of- if not the most flourishing of countries, being outstandingly large, and having one of the most capable and efficient militia. It is a strong belief here that everyone has their purpose in life, and everyone has their own “talent” or gift given to them to serve that purpose. Many people are aware of their gifts from an early age, some without, and have hairs turning silver and still letting life lead them in whichever direction the wind blows. All in all, it’s a safe country to live your hopes and dreams in.

Besides, you learned the punishment for breaking some of the laws can be quite severe, and said punishments are severe enough to strike terror into the citizens who consider tampering with them.

“Really?? We get to visit the palace??” A little child squealed into their mother’s lap, that child just so happened to be you. Playing princesses with your friends was entertaining, yes, but it couldn’t compare with the real thing. It played over and over inside your feeble brain, the diamond chandeliers, the gold-plated statues, the doors, the throne room. Just the thought would make any insouciant child like yourself shake with anticipation.

“You mustn't make a scene when we get there, dear. As much as I understand your excitement, the palace can’t be mistaken to you as a place of fun and games, it’s quite serious. Your father is attending a meeting, so you and I get to stay for a while to attend the holiday. If you’re lucky, you might be able to attend the ball with me.” Your mother almost immediately regrets the last few sentences of her speech, now having to deal with a squealing 5-year-old who cannot control their emotions any longer. After a long sigh, she scooped you off her lap, walking over to the bedroom to place you into bed. There were paintings with stars and sparkles adorning the ceiling above your bed, and you convinced your mother to help hang stars from the faded paint spots. The dim lighting in a shade of dark blue truly did make the stars sparkle, including the ones hanging in your room and the stars that dance together in the sky. It made you wonder if they had the same paintings on the palace walls, maybe even more. With a kiss to your forehead, she tucked you in your bed and tried to step away, but failed due to you reaching out your tiny hand to grab onto her yellow sundress. “Do you think I can be a princess? Like the ones in the big palace?” “I'm sure you can, and I bet you’ll be the prettiest princess ever. However… I'm afraid princesses get beauty sleep, and at this rate, you’ll turn into a gremlin with baggy eyes!” She smiled when your body immediately went lax, and you flopped onto your bed sheets and snored as if you’d been sleeping for over a hundred years. With that, she left your room.

Your father was in a state of alamort, putting in as much effort as his soul allowed him to move your family higher status and reputation, but to no avail. His majesty had barely spared a glance at him, and he hoped that this ceremony would be an opportunity to bring his family higher. Your family was by no means struggling with money or bringing food on the table, more so struggling to maintain the reputation that's been withheld in your bloodline for generations.

Nobility was a hard bargain. Your surname was well known in the village you lived in, but it didn’t advance any farther than that. The family’s worth compared to that as a bystander you’d see in royal events, just slightly over a commoner, nothing to ever be placed near the grand royalty of the Todoroki bloodline.

The annual Crescent Moon ceremony was taking place in just a small amount of time, a celebration to symbolize family, fertility, empowerment, and to appreciate life’s lavish graces. It most certainly wasn’t the most important of events, but the meaning behind it gave reason to be very…lavish, and thriftless. A perfect event for a child to witness, as it romanticizes royal life to the utmost degree.

So, in the restless dreams of a 5-year-old girl, you’d be sitting on a throne adorned with diamonds, and a version of yourself that you would assume is an older you. A crown so shiny that if angled towards the sun, would blind anyone looking in your direction. It sits atop your perfectly placed strands of hair, not a single one out of place. Maybe if you thought hard enough, you’d be able to visualize a chromatic ring wrapped around your 4th finger, followed by the lips of a handsome prince pressed against the front of your hand.. is there a prince at the castle? Even a little girl can be bashful sometimes, maybe he’d be like the books, with a prodigious sword attached to his hip and weighty boots that slammed against marble floors, signaling his arrival earlier than his presence could. So.. speaking like a 5-year-old girl, this place is gonna be super duper awesome!!!

This… however..was not very awesome. It'd been almost.. 5 hours now? The sun is still high in the sky, burning down at the wooden carriage you rode in. It was hot, and your mother said that if you whined one more time about the heat, she’d make sure you’d get none of the palace desserts when they got to the capital of Venora, also known as Solaris. It was the diamond of the country, and where the tremendously large castle stays solemn. It’s where the royal family of Venora has resided for years. There are neighboring castles, much smaller, reserved for the high nobles, and your mother promised you’d get to see them when the carriage reached Solaris. Some were located on the way to the main castle, but some were buried deep in the wispy green forests, lakes, and hills that were outspread in Solaris, practically smothering the land. The only exception being the main village, which is said to be the largest city in the country. Your mother said that it’s not the best or most habitable place to live in. Tourists, and merchants, all of them practically suffocate the city, leaving little to no room for long-time inhabitants. If you want to live close to the castle, it’s best if you build your own place.

“Are we there-”

“Don’t even start, missy.” Your mother quipped before you could finish your childish statement.

“But-”

“You know, princesses are very calm and patient people. They ride in royal carriages all the time, simply waving at passersby. How could you be a princess if you can’t even make it to the castle without whining, dear?” Comparing you to a princess is the only way she knew would always get you to behave, it always worked well, proven by the silence the rest of the trip.

However, the mind of a little girl never stayed quiet, and as you peered out of the lights that the wood would allow, you could see your father’s carriage right in front of your own. It seemed that he was a quiet man, always thinking, but never speaking. Unless it was towards your mother about mundane things, he was always in his study, thinking. You couldn’t fathom what he could be up to, what could be so interesting or demanding that a simple nobleman as your father would be locked up inside the silence of his stone-walled office.

Sometimes at home, you’d see fathers - laughing and playing with their children, but that was never the case with yours. In fact, he never really spoke to your mother either. In contrast, your mother was as warm as a white fur blanket, like the ones she said were common in the palace, but rare and expensive to find in your own village. She always spoke with you, seeing as you had no other siblings. Speaking of which, you asked her about that idea once, having siblings. Quickly your mother hushed you of the idea, saying that it wouldn’t be happening anytime soon, almost looking hurt at what you said, so you never mentioned it again.

Having many children was a miracle at this age, why was she so against it-

The sound of faded cheers and chatter dragged you out of the deep reflection of your thoughts. Are we there yet-?

You slammed a hand over your mouth when you realized you had said that last part out loud, slowly turning your gaze over to your mother, who narrowed her eyes at you. Yet the look on her face quickly softened as she sighed, and announced; “Yes, we are here!” Even she couldn’t contain her excitement, yet she quickly had to compose herself and grab you, as you were just about to leap out of the carriage. “We are in Solaris, not near the castle yet. I can’t let you go out into the village, it’s filled with people for the ceremony and you’d surely be trampled. If you want to view the commotion, simply watch through the carriage.” She simply grinned at you as you whined, and pressed your face to the carriage glass.

The sun was still in the sky, but much lower. You had made it to your temporary estate, and you were astounded at the sheer size of the exterior. It was nearly thrice as big as your regular estate, with gardens on each side with their own unique plants, your favorite being the dazzling lilies on the left side, and the charming gladiolus on the right. There was even a butler waiting for you, and you scampered up to him with a smile, which he gladly returned to you. Your mother was, discreetly, also amazed at the size, simply internalizing her emotions, with nothing but soft upturned lips and a slight sparkle in her eyes. Your father, though, had the exact opposite emotions. He looked rather displeased, evident with the slight scowl on his face, what could he be so upset about? You decided to tug on his suit pants, directing his scowl at you, but he loosened his angry face at the sight of your frown.

“Why are you sad, pa? This place is so big!” He lost his scowl completely, opting to look at you with a neutral face instead to not upset you anymore, and walking towards the front door of the estate, lamenting to himself instead “It could have been bigger.”

The inside was just as impressive, ancient paintings with gold plated frames, silverware decorated in intricate patterns and designs carved into the metal. The thing that caught your eye the most, was the stunning piano in the foyer of the estate. You had half the mind to climb the piano stool, and mash your little fingers against the keys, you were almost successful too, if it weren’t for your mother holding the collar of your dress. …

Much to your mother’s delight, the length of the trip ended up giving her a tuckered-out 5 year old. This was good anyway, the ceremony was tomorrow evening, and they wouldn’t be leaving the estate for another 3 weeks, anyway. This part seemed to be the only thing that pleased your father, maybe it was because this gave him more time to talk with The King himself.

Your mother had a very difficult pregnancy regarding your birth. Infact, the birth itself was a blur in her memory. From what the midwives had told her, the bleeding was what almost caused her death. Luckily, her having held onto the strings of consciousness for just a few moments longer was what caused her to recover just enough for the healer to arrive intime. Due to the heavy bleeding, it was highly encouraged, almost demanded of her, that she never conceive again.

This had angered your father to no end. He had at least one child, but it wasn’t a male..an “heir” to his legacy. No matter how many times you had promised him to carry on his legacy, he wouldn’t listen. His anger got so severe, he had almost forced himself onto your mother- completely disregarding her safety, all for the chance of an heir. From what little bit of morals he had left, he stopped.

This was the reason why he was quite desperate in his attempts to raise his family’s status and reputation, but in this day and age, a daughter and a title can only get you so far. He watched as his once peers outgrew him in their own rankings, no longer speaking to him and throwing away their companionships as if it had only been brought together by a scroll, waxed stamp, and word from the king.

Deep down inside, he wanted to be able to disregard people like that- and throw them away. He’d never admit it, though.

The sun hadn’t even risen yet, but the whirlwind of activity never slept on a day such as this one. Your estate was over a mile away from the bustling city, and yet the cheers could be heard as loudly as the chirping birds outside the windowsill. Your mother must have heard it too, as she appeared in front of your doorway.

“I'm glad that trip wore you out enough to have you sleep in early, I'm afraid that was all the amount of soundful sleep you're going to get until the cheers die down in a few days.” She smiled at your little pout, walking over to you and gently pushing your fists away from your eyes as you rubbed them.

“Nonetheless, I bet you’ll be glad to hear that we get to enter the palace early, so it’s best you get yourself ready now, that is if you want to be princess material.”

“…Do I get to pick out my dress?”

“Of course you do.”

The sun was now peeking above the horizon, almost as if it was hiding from the beautiful chaos to come. The fear collides with the sky in an ethereal array of colors, the exact same array of colors as your dress. A shimmering light yellow, something lighter and purer than golden honey, but just as divine. It’s adorned with coral-like pink colored designs, and the prettiest golden shoes to go along with it. A dress, truly, fit for a princess.

The maid finished the final touches of the curls in your hair, so defined that they bounced on your head whenever you jumped in delight, much to the maid’s displeasure.

The sun had finally crept from its hiding place, now sitting lowly in the sky. It’s still well before noon, and you were stepping outside the estate with your mother’s hand holding your own. She wore a dress similar to your own, but fully yellow. Your father stood in front of you both. He was..suspiciously quiet, to say the very least. It was one thing to be in your own head, but his eyes seemed dark, like he was thinking about one thing only.

However, he snapped out of it when he realized the carriage wasn’t coming as soon as he expected it to.

People with high reputations get invited to the castle far far earlier than commoners get the chance to even get close to it. The earlier you get in depends on your status, and clearly your father thought he’d be escorted by now, and his pride would not allow him to go back inside to wait. Even the butler was starting to get concerned, it had now been over an hour waiting outside. Your mother had tried to persuade him 30 minutes ago, but was met with a rather harsh lecture, and didn’t dare to press further. He wouldn’t allow you two to go back inside either.

Finally, after about an hour and thirty minutes, the carriage arrived at your estate. Luckily the sun still wasn’t high enough in the sky, and the air still had a slight chill to it, so you didn’t overheat too much, it was just a little bit too warm for your liking.

The carriage was beyond anything you’d ever seen. It was laced with gold and diamonds beyond comparison to anything you’d ever seen. It was lavish, and the seats were laced with cold silk, much to your delight.

There were no words to describe the castle, none at all. Well, if you could explain it in one way… large. It took nearly 30 minutes to just get out of the carriage, due to the huge lineup at the side entrance. That was another thing your father hated, that he wasn’t “noble” enough to use the grand front entrance. You couldn’t even register his anger though, as you stepped out of the carriage the only thing you could think about was the sheer size and elegance at the massive structure standing proudly before you eyes. You clutched onto your mother tightly, as it felt as though you’d get lost if you so much as moved an inch from her body.

This was the moment you separated from your father, as though he had other plans, and stuck to your mother, heading towards the ladies’ hall, a portion of the castle where all the noblewoman and their ladies-in-waiting sat together for tea, from what you heard. It was strange though, why didn’t your mother have her own lady in waiting?

When inside the hall, you followed you mother to the room where the commotion was coming from, and were surprised by the sheer elegance of the woman inside. Did they go to galas all day? The ballgowns and tiaras they wore told you so, there was no way they could sit in such attire all day without dying.

You were almost intimidated by them as the silence built up and your mother walked in with you in her grasp. However, a breath of relief washed over you as some of the women smiled at you and your mother with a courtly wave, and a small portion just simply decided to ignore your existence, and go back to whatever conversation they were having moments prior.

Your mother seemed even more relieved as you did, surely feeling the anxiety building up about her own place in the room. She was older, but still had the girlish tendencies of wanting to fit in.

One of the noblewoman was very welcoming, opting to stand up from her loveseat and make her way over to your mother with a warm smile and curtsey. She even smiled down at you, which made your heart leap at the thought of being greeted by a princess.

“I see you’ve come right on time, and you’ve brought us a gift, too.” notioning at you, “she’ll fit in well with all of our children, the little girls out in the garden. It’s safe here, if she wants to play with them.”

Your mother curtseyed back, “I’m sure she’d like that, do you want to go [Y/N]?”

“Mhm!” The lady in front of your mother giggled at you, and notioned her head towards the entrance of the side garden. Your mother nodded at you, giving you permission to go, and so you skipped off.

The garden was filled with children playing and flowers of all colors blooming from every direction. Some children opted to go a little too high on the large garden swing, others chased butterflies, which is what you did. You got along well with a blond-haired blue-eyed girl, her hair tied up in pigtails and wearing a bright blue dress with gold accessories on it. She had some freckles on her face too, as she proclaimed to be “the professional of catching butterflies”. She taught you how to do it as well, and ushered you to catch the white and red colored butterfly, what an interesting color.

So you followed it, as it fluttered away into the forest-like part of the garden, with trees for what felt like miles. There were no children here, except for you and the childish butterfly slipping from your grasp at every chance.

Well, you thought you were the only child, until you heard crying from a distance.

A boy, about 8-9 years old, was sitting under an oak tree with tears in his eyes.

You hated it when people cried, you always ended up crying with them, but you’d try to keep your composure for the sake of this boy.

A light tap on his knee had him flinching, looking up at the person who had just dared to disturb him and his privacy. Almost regretting it, as he didn’t want to scare the intruder with the horrid scar on his face, but to his surprise, you didn’t flinch or widen your eyes at all. He was even more surprised at the person who was in front of him-

It was just a child.

“…What do you want?”

“Why are you crying?”

He didn’t answer your question.

“Is it because you're lonely?” “..No.”

“Are you nervous about the ceremony? I know it’s pretty scary, but can’t you believe how big this place is? As long as you have your parents by your side, you won't get lost! What’s your name?”

You didn’t know who he was, he was sure of that now. Giving away his last time would reveal who he was. He’d never had an outsider talk to him like a normal person before, and he wouldn’t admit it, but he enjoyed it. He enjoyed the informality, in contrast to the formality that he was forced to drown in all his life, up until now.

“..Shouto. This place is big..but I am used to it.”

“Oh! Do you come here often?? Oh- and my name is [Y/N]!! Unlike you- I am TERRIFIED! I feel like I might get lost here! Like I might get sucked up into a painting or something!”

“..You can’t get stuck in paintings.”

“Of course not silly! I’m just joking!”

“Oh.”

“Uhm.. is it because of your injury? Does it hurt?” you pointed at the scar on his eye. Clearly this wasn’t the best thing to have said, as the boy looks like he’s going to cry again.

“No.. it doesn’t hurt..well..not in that way I don’t think.” His voice is wobbly.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry Shouto. I hope it doesn’t hurt at all. When you grow up, though, I’m sure people will respect you alot with that super duper awesome scar!

“…What?”

“Well..your scar, it looks cool!”

“It..does?” He looked at you like you had grown a second head. He’d never been told that his scar looked cool before. When the incident happened a few years ago, the only thing he was ever met with was horrid looks and fear.

“Of course it does! It’s like you battled one of those big dragons and came back to tell the story! Or- or you're an amazing knight who battled an entire army!”

“A dragon..an army.” He wasn’t frowning anymore, and maybe it was just your imagination, but you swore you saw his lips turn upwards just slightly, thinking about the idea.

“Yeah! Even better if you saved a princess along the way!” That striked an idea to your head, and you began to climb up the tree he was curled under a few moments prior. Only making it to the middle of the tree, you started to faux cry.

“Heeeelp me Shouto!!" The dragon is going to eeeeatt me!!! I’ll become dinner to a hungry dragon!!!”

He looked at you, “There’s no dragon?”

“You have to pretend, silly.”

“Oh, okay.”

He tried his best to climb up the tree, and to your surprise, he did it alot better than you did. He grabbed your hip and pulled you out of the tree, placing you back on your feet.

“You saved me! You are a true heeeero, knight Shouto! The king will surely reward you for your greatness!” with that, you attempted to flash him your best princess smile, you’ve been practicing.

He giggled at you, which nearly surprised himself. It’d been years since he genuinely smiled, let alone laughed at anything.

His laughter was cut short though, with the sound of someone calling your name, in a rather panicked fashion.

“Oh… I have to go..or my mama will be soo mad at me, Shouto.”

“That’s… okay.” He frowned. “You're going to the event, right..?”

“Mhm!” You beamed up at him.

“..What’s your family's name?”

“Uhm.. my last name?”

“Yes.”

“Ohh! It’s [L/N].”

“I see. [F/N],[L/N] is it?” He thought to himself for a moment, then looked at you.

“Yep! That is mee!” You smiled once, again this time he smiled back.”

“[Y/N]!!!” The voice that was calling you got louder this time, startling you both.

With a final wave and a “Goodbye Shouto!! I’ll see you at the ball!” you ran back in the direction you came from, or, where the voice came from? You hoped you were running in the right direction.

“..Goodbye..[Y/N].”

Now he was left by himself again.

Shouto had his own fears and insecurities, all bundled up inside his broken heart and he didn’t have the strength to piece them back together alone. The people alongside him didn’t do much to help, not even his own prestigious family, the ones who were always supposed to be incharge and handle the country with diamond crowns on their heads.

He knew that the same neglectful family would come looking for him soon after they found out he wasn’t isolated in his room like they had thought he had been doing.

And he didn’t think that the one who would even try to piece his heart back together would be a girl 4 years younger than him. That she would make him happy.

Shouto Todoroki was happy with you, and you alone. Even if it was just for a moment, he remembered it well, and he would for the rest of his life.

AUTHORS NOTE: aerhsbdv eliusbfdv awilsubdf fkdbv its 12:34am please i want to be tumblr and a03 famous i put my whole constanceussy into this

IF YOU WANT TO BE APART OF THE TAGLIST FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER, PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT ON THIS POST!

#bnha smut #bnha #mha #mha smut #mha x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou smut #bakugou x reader #bakugo smut #shouto smut #shoto x reader #shouto x reader #shoto todoroki #shouto todoroki #shoto smut #shouto x y/n #shouto x you #shoto x you #Shouto Todoroki #Todoroki Shouto #izuku midoriya

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

Adhd Sanzu propaganda because I want to, I already convinced someone:

He's a chaotic gremlin (Not need to explain that).

Same way that happened with Kakucho and Izana. Sanzu's days and life revolve around Mikey (I don't think I need to put examples here). Mikey is Sanzu's special interest and I'm saying it without shame! (Maybe a little bit of shame only)

Sanzu doesn't have sociallization skills. At all. But in a specific way that gives me adhd vibes (putting the trauma a part). Sanzu as a kid is sweet but weird. We can see him not reacting to Baji's tantrums in a way that yeah, can be bc he's used to, but also, his focus is not there. He's awkward in a way that makes me think that he's used to not fit in, to be look as a weirdo every time he talks. So he does the "I'm not gonna talk at all because when I do people hates me". Then, as a teen no division wants him because he's "a wild horse". Excuse me? Have you seen half of Toman? It's because he's weird and doesn't fit in, the wild part would not bother them so much on it's own.

Sanzu doesn't have a middle point. He's always extreme. When he followed Muto became extremly quiet and calm, almost like a shadow (again, it could be literal thinking of the orders Muto gave him).

His weird poses once he's not hiding himself anymore. All the Bonten scene, he's just doing his show, talking too much, too loud and too fast.

All the energy he have also in Kanto Manji. He's so hyped with being with Mikey. Acting loud, being weird and saying things that are only funny in his head bc he forgot to explain the joke (besides the cryptic timeleaping things I mean).

I know in Bonten and Kanto Manji Sanzu is unhinged, but there is something in the way he does it, not caring at all if people gets him or not. It screams adhd "fuck you all i'm not masking anymore" mood so badly!

The katana. The freaking katana is so over the top and so dramatic. And he obviously cares about his katana a lot, he never drops it in the fight against Toman, not even when Taiju sends him flying.

The teatricals of his plans in general. He kills Mucho with a katana in the place where the Kanto Incident took place. And he takes his mask after doing it. Such dramatic and aesthetically pleasing way of killing people.

The train. Hello? This is not NT thinking. Killing everyone, okay, sure. But with a train? What? And he brings his katana just in case? No middle point legendary level here.

He plans chaos. He literally thinks for days how to do the most random and chaotic unhinged thing ever! (The train, the train!)

He have literal thinking. Mikey told him to "smile" so he does it once he's finally serving his king. A big grinn all the time.

His addiction. Since adhd brains don't have impulse control, we tend to be addicts more than the average (I know this part doesn't prove it but it checks too).

The way he have so much beef with people that is happening only in his head. Yeah, he's a hater. But also, I can see a lot of rejection sensitive dysphoria and overthinking because he's mind is telling him everyone would reject him.

He was childhood friends with Mikey and Baji. No one is neurotypical there xD

Visual stimulation. Bright pink and so many vivid/strident colors. C'mon, his bike is pink and pretty! That aesthetic makes my adhdbrain happy. He's obsessed with pink in a not at all NT way.

He's hypersensitive and can't handle some smells (Takemichi, I'm so sorry for you).

Twisted sense of danger over here too. But different than Kakucho. Where Kakucho runs towards danger, Sanzu is the one causing it directly.

Sanzu being banned from meetings in the final timeline. Because he doesn't know when to shut up since he never did masking here.

THE UNMASKING METAPHOR! I left this one for the last because I just realized yesterday and it's beautiful. When he enters the 5th Division, he stops being loud and wild (he's still weird bc Sanzu). The same moment he starts wearing the mask. There is something there, a ND teen who doesn't fit, who is tired and just want to be like the others, being told to "just do that for not driving so much attention on you". And he does it. He wears the physical mask and he starts acting different, doing masking (not literal this time). Until he frees himself of the physical mask. And he stops masking his symptoms, his full personality. He doesn't give a shit anymore about getting too much attention, he's so sick of hiding, that he thrieves in attention now (even in the final timeline does that, he's a youtuber). Unmasking legendary level! (And hardcore masking when he does it)

Edit bc I was sure I wrote this but apparently not: Sanzu has no interest in forming new relationships either. Like Kakucho with Izana, he only does with Mucho because Mikey told him to. But even if he has zero interest in forming new bonds, he's still the center of attention (after unmasking), still being there loudly, being a big part of what marks the dynamic of the group. The "I don't wanna make new friends" but "I can't stop talking and being loud in a group", also a classical adhd mood!

So... I think that's all I can't think for now. It's probably messy and chaotic but hey, it's a post about adhd, so that's fine, right? 🙈

@just-sp-in-inginthevoid spreading adhd!Sanzu like I promise.

Ps: here is the Autistic Kakucho Propaganda in case someone is curious. This two are a pack and they hate it so much 🤣

#tokyo revengers #tokyo revengers spoilers #sanzu haruchiyo #sanzu headcanons #tokyo revengers headcanons #also you know the 'autism vs adhd' meme? considering sanzu and kakucho are basically archnemesis... yeahh #adhd gremlin #adhd #adhd sanzu

[invinciblerodent]

yknow, no, i'm not done thinking/posting/being deeply angry about the whole "bbuuuhhh Astarion is gay and was made playersexual as a game mechanic bbbuuuhhhhhhh" garbage some people still spout.

like this type of sentiment is always annoying and wrong, but it's specifically this character for whom it's especially annoying to me, just because on top of all the regular host of issues, it also deeply contradicts what I believe is the central theme of his whole goddamn story.

(excuse the rant please.)

Like, my skin already crawls at that term, "playersexual". I hate it, and find its use either vaguely ignorant at best, or blatantly pan/biphobic at worst. but even just besides that....

This character is a man whose narrative intentionally shows his presentation of himself, and of his masculinity, as being contradictory with convention. This character is one whose entire arc is about discovering who he is beyond the boxes he was assigned: a spawn, a monster, a seducer, a tool, a predator, a plaything, a victim, a sexual object... these are all identities that were forced onto him. And if he's given space to discover them, turns out, none of them are things that he actually wants to be. if you give him space, and affection (romantic or otherwise), and acceptance, and help him attain closure and catharsis, he expresses desire to be... an adventurer, a lover, a friend, a protector, so many things, but all of them in his own way. That's the point of his story, control vs. autonomy.

How.... myopic does one have to be to see that story, to play that story, to play an active, participatory role in that subversion, that search for the self beneath the masks, and declare that actually, they made him this other box for him to fit into, so... it's fine, i guess, to ignore what he says?????? it's fine if they pick and choose among his expressed traits which ones to use and which to disregard, because they decided (based on frankly homophobic and rather misogynistic stereotypes) that he cannot be different from their perception, despite him literally saying otherwise????????

Astarion's entire figure is a succession of trope-subversions. I could write essays about all the ways in which, in the romanced spawn game, the narrative sets up tropes (primarily in act 1), only to then purposefully knock them down and contradict them as the game progresses.

Like..... He was to take revenge by taking power for himself (like he thought he wanted, like Cazador did to Vellioth): ended up taking his revenge and rejecting the power that could have come with it, and despite that having a price, being content and grateful for it (and realizing that the alternative would have had an even greater price he would have paid unknowingly). He starts out using sex and sexuality as a weapon, and a tool of manipulation, like he did for many decades: ends up expressing discomfort with being seen as a sex object, resuming his sex life by saying "I love you" before his partner would have, and proposing sex with them as a beautiful metaphor for his own rebirth.

His whole story starts out with him thinking he requires protection from the player and that the only way to get that is through using his body and looks as a bargaining chip: later he discovers in himself a desire to be the protector himself, which he talks about more than once, and expresses varying degrees of discomfort at the thoughts of both using his body to gain something, and needing a protector.

There's the "this is what I'm good for" type of attitude towards sex morphing into "I am so much more than a thing to be used". There's the whole thing about how important his looks were to both him and his "usefulness" back then, despite him not being able to even fucking see them, (which also kind of includes that silly lovely gremlin-face he sometimes makes), but those are just the ones off the top of my head.

The story, and the romance plot, is about... it's about him regaining ownership of himself, it's about autonomy, his whole recurring "what do you want" line is about respecting his choices and letting him find his way to them, it's about letting him show you who he is, believing him, and loving the man behind the facade.

how absolutely fucking short-sighted does one have to be to then take that incredibly reductive stereotype of "femme-leaning man with theatrical mannerisms who cares about his looks; must be exclusively homosexual and any attraction he shows to women is just a mechanic/fanservice/flattery" (which, that's so fucking insulting to gay men, and bi/pan men, an any man who might express masculinity in a less than conventional way, and to the women who may love them [eta: and of course nonbinary people, and the people to whom masculinity means something wholly different]), and assign it to this character on their own accord, despite him literally telling the player otherwise? despite him verbally expressing attraction to multiple women, and contradicting that stereotypical interpretation wholly and out of pocket??????

like, hello??????? did we play the same game????????? did we play the same fucking game??????????

like don't think for one second that it isn't the pan/biphobia that annoys me more, it absolutely is, but this character is such a particularly egregious example, it's almost fucking poetic.

#squirrel plays bg3 #i feel like this needs a tw but i just. cannot think of what #i'm just..... annoyed. and ranting. and my brain is full. and i'm hungry. #point is; where Gale's central theme boils down to an exploration of devotion #Astarion's is about autonomy #these are the only two i've done so far so i've not yet looked this much into the others #next is gonna be me ranting for hours about Shadowheart's theme of sacrifice; just you wait #(i hope the person who replied to this post; deleted their reply; and then blocked me #knows how heartily I just laughed at that little sequence of events) #(it's like seeing; idk; a bottle of nice healthy kale-spinach juice discarded in the liquor aisle of a supermarket) #(a telltale sign of DecisionsTM made) #(I can respect a “yknow i don't want to engage with this today”) #(even if i will just outright say that i believe i'm right)

[thelordofgifs]

20 questions for fic writers

Thank you @sallysavestheday and @grey-gazania! I was eyeing this one and hoping for a tag, some great questions here.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 51, although one's a podfic.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 250,683. More than half of which is from last year alone!

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently exclusively the Silmarillion, with the occasional little LoTR ficlet.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? the fairest stars, Inflection, an ancient song, all those that follow, Ilimbë. I'm always surprised by an ancient song's popularity – it was a pretty low-effort ficlet – but a solid list nonetheless!

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes, always! (Glances nervously at the pile I've accumulated in the last couple of weeks of travelling). I love replying to comments, though. It's so nice to be able to engage with all my lovely thoughtful readers and their excellent thoughts!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? ever an anguish that pursued is pretty bleak. before the black gale is also a tragedy of sorts, though I'm not sure that makes it qualify as angsty as such.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Ilimbë ends quite joyfully, although while writing the final scene I did have the shadow of their unhappy future in mind! I think the cleaving's ending is also quite happy, or at the very least cathartic.

8. Do you get hate on fics? No, thankfully! All my readers have been very kind and appreciative <3

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Three fics so far! All of which were gifts for friends, and made me push my boundaries a little. I'm proud of all of them, though! Smut is less scary than I used to think :)

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? No, never! If I did, it would probably be more of a retelling/AU than straight-up having characters from different fandoms meet.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? No – I fear I am rather too much of a control freak for this, and would rather not inflict myself and my pedantry on an unsuspecting co-writer.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Russingon... it's the forbidden romance and the doomed nature of it all and the fact that love wasn't enough to save them :( also the murders, of course.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? boats against the current, the "Maedhros doesn't swear the Oath" AU I blithely started back in 2022, is simply not going anywhere at any sort of speed. Perhaps this is the year! Let's see.

16. What are your writing strengths? Dialogue and characterisation! I'm good at emotional beats, I think.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Description... I tend to write VERY minimally and then have to go back on edits and add in some descriptive language so that the entire story isn't just two talking heads in an empty room. Always very pleased when people compliment my descriptions for that reason – they take conscious effort!

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Fine if it's footnoted, I think. I tend to avoid it on the basis that all the dialogue I write has been "translated" from one of Tolkien's languages anyway; and I don't know any real languages well enough to write fic in them.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Harry Potter, although I've soured on the fandom now for obvious reasons :/ For a while I used to think that I could still enjoy the books I loved so much growing up while separating them from the author, but she's so continually hateful and bigoted that I just... can't gain any enjoyment from the franchise anymore. Which is painful, but I'm glad I have the silm fandom to absorb all my creative energy now!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? the fairest stars! My weird gremlin baby, I love it so. I never expected to care about this fic as much as I did, but I've poured so much thought and heart into it that it was perhaps inevitable. And it's taught me so much about writing cliffhangers :)

No-pressure tags for @eilinelsghost, @searchingforserendipity25, @welcomingdisaster, @that-angry-noldo, @swanmaids, @echo-bleu, @jouissants, @tanoraqui and anyone else who, like me, was eyeing this one hoping to be tagged – @ me and say I tagged you!

#tag game #my writing

[amphiptere-art]

Oh! I should probably share this.

The sun and moon from security breach. I think everybody mutually hates the idea of The daycare attendant. Or at least moon being just sort of an Afton weapon. Whether as some sort of code embodiment or something else. I think everyone really hated that idea. And unfortunately the convoluted ending of help wanted 2 doesn't really discourage it.

But! As much as Vanny is also a controlled person under Afton. Vanny / Vanessa seems to want to get out of that control. Or at least are becoming their own sort of serial killer following an afton's footsteps. And as far as I can tell. It is only vanny who might control Moon.

We have to remember this might be a personalized virus Vanny put in moon. So Moon might still be an innocent mind controlled little robot. But we can at least rest in the fact that even if he is purposely working with Vanny. He's not Afton. He's like Vinny's little pet. Her little sidekick that helps her with all the stuff she does. Whether under afton's command or not.

I think Moon is more so connected to vanny than he is Afton. Which is a win in my books. Depending on how you take moon delivering the spring trap toy to vanny. I don't think there's any way to really disagree that Moon will always undeniably be connected to at least some sort of evil antagonist. Mind control or not that is the direction we are going.

But if I'm being honest with myself the little idea of moon being a little pet to Vanny is adorable in my opinion. I may not like Vanny as a character that much. But imagining two little giggly Gremlins enacting a little bit of child murder is endearing. Did I necessarily want Moon to be a little silly murderer? No. But I will take two silly murderers over just Afton again.

#fnaf help wanted 2 #fnaf hw2 #fnaf sb #fnaf sb ruin #fnaf security breach #fnaf security breach ruin #fnaf theory #fnaf sb theory #fnaf help wanted theory #fnaf daycare attendant #fnaf dca #fnaf sb moon #fnaf moon #fnaf moondrop #daycare attendant moon #dca moon #moon

[imagineitdearies]

not a Perfect Slaughter question but Astarion one. you remember that scene in goblin camp where a Loviatar priest and PC can do an impromptu bdsm session? Astarion's reaction always confused me. he seems to be strangely into it for a person who experienced a lot of non consensual sex with physical violence sprinkled on top. like yes, he could be faking it (it's act 1 after all) but he gives a lot of approval points for it.

is it just a case of him being his usual gremlin self? or is he more amenable to the show now when he isn't the one on the receiving end of a whip? also at this point in a game i doubt he cares too much for PC (reminds me abt his remark "i don't like seeing you hurt" or smth along the line).

and more generally, what do you think is his stance on pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom? anyway would like to hear your musings on this, ciao <3

Hey anon!

I'm no Astarion expert compared to some in this fandom, but this is a scene I've thought a lot about the implications of myself so I'll offer my two (very long-winded) cents. I'd love to hear others' thoughts as well!

I agree that Astarion's big approvals should be isolated to the context of when in the game he's giving them. Based on his smaller approval points in Act I, when Astarion starts out this journey he seems to like watching people get treated how he once was. Just a few really early examples:

Tav* making Lae'zel say please (Astarion begging Cazador)

Tav making Zorru bow (Astarion having to bow in Cazador's presence)

Tav prodding Nettie's injured bird till it dies (Godey flashbacks)

Tav telling Mayrina's brothers they won't help (no one ever helping Astarion)

Tav terrorizing Lorin/entertaining his delusions (☹)

So we could argue Astarion is just leaning into this sadistic trauma response in the Loviatar scene as well. He finds satisfaction, however temporary, in seeing others endure what he once had to, and reassuring himself that he's on the winning/powerful/in control side this time. AKA not the weak pathetic person he feels like he was before. The self-loathing is subtle, but not far under the surface.

Considering he often disapproves of Tav being self-sacrificing and weak in other instances, however (usually when it's on behalf of others), why does he highly approve in this certain instance of Tav submitting to pain and injury for seemingly no good reason?

I think the timing of this scene in Act I makes a big difference, considering it's deep in the goblin camp where the party is usually at least a couple levels into their adventure. So in that case, Tav is the established leader, Astarion's vampiric nature is revealed, and they've survived quite a few encounters together already. Some trust has been built. Astarion is more assured of Tav's strength, competency, and willingness to keep him in the group....but that assurance of Tav's strength could be crossing over to feeling unsafe again.

There's plenty of other chaotic, less-sadistic things that he likes (BAAAA!), but almost** all of his big +5 or +10 approvals come from Tav agreeing to something that makes Astarion feel safe and/or powerful. So perhaps Astarion wants Tav to say yes to the Loviatar pain ritual because he views it as a show of strength. He might feel safer knowing that his leader can not only handle pain, but is so entirely unafraid as to welcome it even in the midst of a dangerous goblin camp--something Astarion's 'weak' past self never would have done (cue the self-loathing again).

Based on how eager he sounds when encouraging Tav, though ("don't you dare say no!"), I like to think that he's playing it off as sexual but in reality wants to assure himself he's not with another Cazador. While Astarion is likely to follow Tav regardless, I think he's more interested in being intimate with Tav--if he hasn't already--after seeing that Tav is okay with not always being in charge and assertive, in control. I think, especially at the start, Astarion craves control after not having it for so long, and this kinky display tells him Tav wouldn't mind him taking over for a little while.

Which, at last, gets us to your question about Astarion's views on "pain play and d/s stuff in the bedroom." I think it's telling that Astarion has a +5 approval during the first sex scene if Tav rolls over and lets him bite, and no matter which final romance scene you end up with in Act III, he's depicted as the top. If he ascends, he quickly jumps into what I'd call a permanent d/s dynamic with spawn!Tav where's he's the one in control, made all the more evident with the new kissing animations for patch 6. Plenty of implications to be had, about his preferences.

Now (and these are entirely my headcanons/opinions from here on out), Astarion just isn't in a place for what I'd consider actual healthy d/s dynamics in the bedroom during or immediately after the game timeline, as his mindset is too rooted in fear, self-loathing, and desperate grabs for control. It's been days, weeks at most since he was tortured and controlled on the regular--a lot of this stuff could be triggers and provoke flashbacks, or at the least reinforce the idea in his head that sex is a tool of manipulation and control. Truly safe, sane and consensual d/s acts just don't seem on the table--he goes through a period of not wanting sex at all, much less intimacy where so much trust is required.

But post-game, with enough time? I could see spawn!Astarion*** eventually enjoying some light bdsm in either role, maybe pain play beyond bites if he was the one giving, not receiving the pain. Which all could be a healing experience for him, with trust and aftercare involved. He wouldn't make it on my list of 'top three kinkiest companions' though 😂

Anyways, this is all very much my personal opinion!! Astarion is a fascinating character with so much nuance, there's endless ways to interpret him. And maybe he was just feeling extra chaotic and kinky that day 🤷‍♀️ "Ah, drink it in - that sweet, sweet chaos. Not that I approve of goblins, of course - filthy little beasts - but I do like a good den of debauchery."

Thanks for the question anon. If nothing else, I hope these ramblings entertained! 💙

*Tav represents Tav, Dark Urge, and origin characters in this post

**The one exception that I can think of is the +5 approval for letting him interrupt during the bugbear/ogre scene. Chaos gremlin indeed.

***Ascended!Astarion's characterization and lore is just a bit too inconsistent and vague (in my opinion, of course) for me to analyze a future for. Press (x) to doubt that he can eventually practice safe, healthy bdsm on the side with spawn!Tav while he does his evil stuff and tries to take over the world, but maybe??? Lol he doesn't make sense to me.

#ask me anything #me blabbing #astarion #bg3 astarion #astarion lore #astarion x tav #bg3 headcanons #bg3 meta #bg3 analysis #baldur's gate 3

[gffa]

Oh. Oh no. For the first time in my life pretty much ever I think I'm vaguely interested in a Batman vs Joker comic. This is a humiliating turn of events for me. It's never a good idea to get pre-invested in the potential of a DC comics storyline, that way only ever lies disappointment and "I don't know what I expected" because I should know better. But I can't help it! I took ten years off and came back to a DC that's better than when I left it! I have hope in my heart! And, for all that Gotham War ended with a whimper rather than a bang, I still can see so much potential. Imagine what a real shakeup of the dynamics in the Batfam would look like! I don't believe for a second that they'd do it, but imagine if they actually had Dick in the role of being the family leader, except as Nightwing this time instead of stepping into Batman's boots. He wouldn't want to be the patriarch in the same way Bruce was, but he's about the same age as Bruce was when Bruce adopted him, so imagine the tasty tasty parallels they could do with Dick suddenly in charge of a feral gremlin charge of his own (Damian), some actual support both emotionally and on the streets (Tim and Barbara), a team he actually would be able to call on for help when he needed it (Jason, Steph, Cass, Duke), that in some ways he has it easier than Bruce did, he's not as wrapped up in his own pain in the same way, but in other ways it's harder, he doesn't have Alfred, he has so many moving pieces that are all clashing and aren't necessarily going to listen to him (Steph and Cass and Duke aren't loyal to him the way he was loyal to Bruce)(and then there would be Jason's *waves hands* everything) and it would be out of his control that he'd feel responsible for and it would be a conflict between setting himself up in Bludhaven versus how Gotham still needs the team, not just Bruce being an asshole out there on his own--and god, running into Bruce, always wondering if he approves of Dick's style of leadership versus "You don't get a vote on whether to approve or not." There is SO MUCH that could be done with it! I can't help kind of being fond of the Gotham War set-up, because I like drama and I like Bruce's up and down character arc, and I like a complicated, sharp-edged Bruce who does inexcusable things because his brain is fucked up and lying to him, even when I know it'll disappoint me. But also. I was reading Batman #139 and oh, oh no, oh noooo, I'm interested in "Mindbomb" as a story--as a Joker story!--because it really is the perfect time for it, isn't it? Bruce has been overwhelmed for months now, he's in such a bad place mentally and emotionally that he's letting his fears of loss win and pushing his entire family away, he's doing horrible things to them because he can't handle loving them like he does, so he's separated himself from them, all while he thinks he's in control, but he's not, his brain is absolutely lying to him, and it's hissing in his ear to strip everything that Bruce loves away from himself and so that only Batman is left. Zur-En-Arrh is right there. "I'm in control!" Bruce screams in his own mind, all while Zur just rips through him and so easily takes over. Bruce has no control, he is so, so wrong about all of this, and oh boy the Joker is getting exactly what he wants, isn't he? No more annoying riff raff to get in the way or for Batman to care more about than him. No more Selina, no more kids, no more friends, no more loved ones--just Zur-En-Arrh, the most "pure" Batman in the Joker's eyes, now it's just the two of them. And that's everything Joker has ever wanted. And I don't want to find that to be an interesting extension of everything that led up to and during Gotham War, but crap yeah okay that's kind of a well-timed story when I look at it through that lens. I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, I'm going to be disappointed in wherever this goes, but dammit. The story kind of got me.

#lumi.txt #dc #batfam #bruce wayne #joker #batman 2016 #tuesday spoilers

[thegrimdog13]

Omg I genuinely wanna see your ideas for an opposite au? That would be really interesting! (I'm new here btw so Hi!!)

Opposite au headcannons

pt. 1 ?

Welcome to my page! I hope you stick around. Also feel free to suggest more!For the opposite au I couldn’t think of if I should just make their personalities opposite or also the things they do. Like I could make them cops or something but I think I would leave that for another au. So we are doing personality. You can suggest the other one tho if you’re interested! Alright let’s start then!

————————————————————————

•Most of the creepypasta in this au are forced to be killers like Tim in Marble Hornets.

•Jeff instead of an angry boi is very scared of everything

•Jeff isn’t in everyone’s face and hates to be mean to people 

•Jeff hates killing people he thinks it’s awful. But he is under Slenderman control so he has to.

•When Randy did what he did he just got afraid of him instead of wanting to kill him.

•Liu isn’t a chill big brother instead he has a short temper.

•Liu doesn’t want to hear anything Jeff has to say and does not forgive him for what he has done.

•Liu hates Jeff and finds him disgusting even though it wasn’t Jeff’s fault he killed people.

•Jane ( the killer) is not mad at Jeff and understands it wasn’t his fault.

•Jane is friends with Jeff 

•Jane doesn’t really get along with Liu and hates how he treats Jeff and other people.

•Nina hates Jeff so much it’s ridiculous.( I basically turned her love into hate)

•Nina thinks Jeff is the ugliest man she’s ever seen

•Nina is aro ace and isn’t interested in inappropriate stuff or Romance. ( very unlike normal Nina lol)

•Sally is a little gremlin.

•Sally loves killing people and often tries to kill other creepypastas

•Sally hates playing games and thinks that killing is the funniest thing you can do.

•Ben loves water

•Ben just loves swimming in the water and splashing around.

•Ben is now super energetic instead of a chill guy.

•(Laughing Jack) is now a crying Jack.Because he loves children but is forced to kill them.

•LJ is always crying and slouches a lot.

•LJ never dances around and is often sitting in a corner and crying.

•It’s basically the same with Laughing Jill 

•Ticci Toby is super sensitive to pain and hates even getting the smallest cut.

•Toby doesn’t have any sarcasm and energy instead he is very literal in everything he says and very mep about everything. 

•Toby is basically Dwight from the office but with less energy.

•Clockwork is no longer a badass she is whimpy 

•Clocky hates violence and avoids it if she can

•Clocky doesn’t got out much hating being around people and the attention.

•Slendy is still the same in this au but instead of being super tall and skinny he is a short round guy. 

•Eyeless Jack ‘s demon is more in control and is constantly making growling sounds. Basically he is more feral lol

•EJ will start to sprint like a cat randomly on all fours and everything.

•EJ loves loves organs ( in my main au ej’s demon loves them and not Jack himself. In fact he hates them) 

•Lulu isn’t quiet and yells all the time

•Lulu instead of her sweet self she is mean and rude.

•Lulu is basically like that one bitch in highschool that is like omg I hate that outfit but no offenses ( Have you ever met one of those 😑)

-Marble Hornets is tied in with this au as well

•Masky/ Tim  loves killing and embraces it.

•Tim hates Toby and Jeff ( they have a father son dynamic in my regular au)

•Tim gets annoyed at anything Brian says.Even tho they are dating. ( They are much happier together in my main au. But they do have their moments especially after everything that happened.)

•Brian/ hoodie hates himself and thinks he is ugly. 

•Brian is shy and not every outgoing 

•Brian doesn’t want to give into the operator ( in my main au I thing Brian didn’t want to be Hoodie but he just gave in because it was becoming to much)

————————————————————————

Anyway hope you enjoyed love you all ❤️

#creepypasta #jeff the killer #creepypasta rewrite #new series #au #creepypasta headcanon #creepypasta redesign #eyeless jack #nina the killer #jane the killer #clockwork #sally williams #ben drown #ben drowned #Masky #Hoodie #tim wright #brian thomas #laughing Jack #laughing jill #ticci toby #homicidal liu #slenderman #slenderverse #slender proxy #proxies #opposite au #marble hornets

[nimirel]

I have thoughts about Leander and need to share them.

First of all I think it's hilarious that we are all speculating about him. The devs knew what they were doing making his intro so cryptic, and I fell for it too so get ready.

We got that sweet combo of light eyes, dark circles and massive tit- a kind disposition with some twisted secret that lead us all down the possible yandere route. And while we see some suspiciously controlling/jealous/possessive streaks with him not letting anybody else treat the mc to drinks, forcing the mc to touch him when they hold back and saying negative things of the other LIs in his alone time, there is a post here already analysing how this might not be the case. I agree with them on the whole, he values freedom too much to go too far on that front.

So I'm going to include my humble theory to the mix. I think with Leander they can go for a really tragic story of a boy who grew up in the Lowtown, who saw all the horrors that lurk in the dark. He founded the Bloodhounds to help the people since the Senobium do nothing for those less fortunate. He wants to save everybody, but (according to Ais) he is only human after all. He is the only LI that does not have a monster background in his intro, it's just his shadow. However, we know that he is very powerful and has incredible abilities to yield magic without any incantation (this is giving strong FMA vibes). So, how does he do it? How could a regular mage encounter such power and why is he not with the erudite in the Senobium? I think, that he has to have made a pact or some sort of deal to achieve all this power at an incredibly high cost. If something feels too good to be true, it probably is... He is kind, he wants to help his people, and he has the power to do so. All free of charge, of course. There is no way he could have gotten all that power without giving something vital of himself away (again in true FMA fashion). We will have to find out what that is. We already know about his massive scar, how he likes to work hard, play harder and does not like to sleep. He is always drinking in his free time and having plenty of "escapades". It feels like he is trying to distract himself or forget about something that he cannot change and is inevitable. Ais says that Leander's resolve will be tested in this plane and the next, and I wonder if that could mean that he is reaching a turning point in which he has to decide between himself or the people. Or if he is too far gone and could forget his initial intentions.

Then again this could all be wrong :). I have only played with the Unnamed Origin, and as an oracle, the mc does not feel anything amiss when meeting Leander, while the oracle can feel a lot of stuff when meeting Vere, Ais or even Kuras (and don't get me started on that "nagging feeling" and "sense of familiarity" with kuras omg what if him or his power have something to do with the curse and that is why he is so guilty bdjnfioefjn). So he could simply be a Guy ™ that happens to be very powerful.

Then there is also how Vere talks about him. Vere straight up insults him and calls him slimy. I feel like we can trust Vere's sense of smell and he can really see through others’ intentions so I wonder if that is really how Leander truly is, although Vere doesn't really have anything nice to say about anybody (other that how big Ais is snfinrf). Could I just be another victim of Leander's charm and fail to see that he is a little evil gremlin ready to show how you don't need to be born a monster to be truly villainous? Possibly, but I don't mind I would just like to hold them him.

I feel like all the LIs do have a good heart or at least no real ill intent against the mc (looking at you Vere), but Leander is the only one that seems to openly claim that he is doing this out of the goodness of his heart. And that is terribly suspicious. Anyway, I still need to play with the other origins and see what else I can find. I would love to hear your opinions on this!!!

#touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved leander #help I have fallen and I can't get back up #honestly I do not care what he does #if vere got to kill me in the demo and I liked it Leander can kill me too in the game if he wants #and I will love it

[purple-chaos-clown]

Demons' Emotions & Body Language

Because why the hell not talk about something that has probably been written/talked about a hundred times before? XD I'm in the mood to write about Mephisto because my brain is occupied by thoughts of him in some way 99% of the time.

This was spurred on by once again seeing Mephisto's great teeth appreciation and it reminded me of how much I actually love looking at his facial expressions in general.

He's just so fucking good at expressing himself, lol. And then I begin to wonder...

How much of it is staged/faked/put on, how much comes natural to him? If even at all?

Did he have a period where he tested out all the different facial expressions humans tend to make in certain situations? Did he go and study them? Is it like a game for him? Knowing the Human-Emotions-101 better than even humans themselves, just to have even more power and control over his cute toys?

^Ch. 46 We know he's a little stalker gremlin, so people watching is one of his greatest hobbies - it would certainly help him out with accurately mimicking their body language.

Did he have a rough time when he first started to make contact with humans face to face? :( Because I know that even humans struggle with body language and facial expressions. Totally not looking at me, who's often laughing and smiling, simply hoping it's appropriate because I often don't fully understand what's going on. :')

Considering Mephisto is a pro at acting all human or demon (depending on which outcome he wants to reach, making certain behaviors necessary to manipulate everyone's actions) with how much time he has spent with humans and his obsession with them and their creations...

What is it like for all the demons possessing human bodies?

Amaimon seems to struggle a lot using the muscles in his face, if that side-story panel is anything to by. XD

Moving a sack of flesh can be rough, buddy. I feel you there, my resting bitch face often scares strangers and I have to always check in to make sure I don't look as dead as I feel.

Amaimon is obviously able of actually showing emotions, evident in the manga, but I think there's one he expresses more often than others: anger.

Thinking of anger... There's Satan.

^Ch. 105 Before he came into (regular) contact with Yuri he could only show anger when threatened/searching for Yuri. All other expressions seem to have been actively taught to him over a certain span of time.

Same with Rin when he was born.

^Ch. 109 Though the threatening circumstances might have triggered/amplified that little ugly burning potato's anger. :x

Looking towards Lucifer is pretty much the same, though his anger is often more of the hidden kind and not as openly expressed. Same with Mephisto though. Maybe it's their age (though their behavior doesn't exactly reflect maturity, both of them are brats in their own rights) or simply who they inherently are.

The rest of the demon kings are... definitely emotional and expressive too, which is weird because why would they feel the need to mimic human behaviors and expressions? (Might be reason for another ramble, this post is already so much longer than I intended for it to be XD)

In conclusion...

All of it makes me think that anger is the one emotion that demons might inherently feel and express, anything beyond is something they need to actively learn about over time.

Which is incredibly sad the more I think about it.

I also think most demons (possessing human bodies) have to consciously think about what kind of facial expression/body language goes along with whatever they're feeling - if they want to outwardly express them.

Do they even feel the need to do that in the first place though? And if yes, why? Considering they don't have bodies in Gehenna, it wouldn't make much sense for them to inherently have some body language if they don't have bodies that support it, would it?

And yet we've seen how feral demons can be, Rin is a prime example when he gets overwhelmed by his demon side. All snarling, showing teeth and growling and it's something I (and many other people) love incorporating in our writing all the time because feral demons and the way they threaten each other is just peak content that I desperately need to continue living. XD

#ao no exorcist #ane #aoex manga #ao no exorcist headcanon #aoex #blue exorcist #mephisto #demons #demon kings #demon behavior #fan theory #at the end of the day I just wanna touch those teeth and ears #and then get bitten/mauled to death by one of the demon kings #preferably Mephisto but at this point I'll be happy with any demon XD #just some mad ramblings of a chaotic fox #this has gotten way too long but I regret nothing #time spent thinking about demons is time well spent

[brandnewhuman]

hihiii,, i was wondering if i could request slashers with a naturally dom gn!reader??

I would love to read the dynamics of the relationships and how things would progress 👀💞💕

Omg ofc!!^^ oh god I'm so excited, this is my first request. Hope you like it!! *insert evil gremlin giggles* I had way too much fun with this

SLASHERS WITH DOM GN!READER

INCLUDES:

Michael Myers, Jesse Cromeans, Thomas Hewitt, Brahms Heelshire,

Tw: canon violence, slightly NSFW, sfw, mention of murder, injuries and all that jazz

A/N: like I said in my rules post I'm not the best at writing NSFW stuff like smut ecc so please do forgive me for this atrocious thing I've created. I've tried to go more for a soft dom thing. Hope you like it tho ^^. Also you haven't specified which slashers did you want in particular so I just chose randomly.

THOMAS HEWITT:

Thomas is not a very dominant person by nature

He being shy and self conscious doesn't help his cause

He low-key allows everyone to boss him around in a very aggressive and almost abusive way (besides luda mae ofc, but even her sometimes is really harsh with him)

So having someone who can take control while being considerate of his feelings is a nice change he's eager to welcome

Let's be honest, he's already willing of doing anything his s/o wants to make them happy so

Please use your influence to make him take care of himself. Telling him how proud you feel everytime he does

Low-key has a praise kink

Having someone so confident he considers perfect complimenting him and say he's being good or praising how he does everything you ask for perfectly makes him feel so much better about himself

letting his s/o be the one leading is a relief for him. He kinda feels like for the first time he can let someone be in charge without feeling guilty

Even if he's a big guy, this giant Teddy bear is going to be clay on his s/o hands.

He's not going to have much experience so Tommy's honestly glad his s/o tells him what to do

He's not going to be as afraid of hurting you as usual cause he knows you're always have everything under control

However, as much as he enjoys the whole being a bottom business he wants his boundaries respected

That means he's not going to be happy about punishments ecc being them the sexual ones or any other sort

It's not that he's a brat or anything

Prefers much more a gentle correction or just simply telling him when he needs to do something differently. He has enough people making feel bad for every single mistake, he does not want to feel like his s/o sees him as a failure too

Speaking of, his s/o will definitely have to defend their man honour in front of hoyt. He's going to be an ass as soon and say things to Thomas such a "man up" ecc..

Overall he just enjoys having you around to make him feel safe and loved. You're going to have so much work to do about his self esteem but in the end it's worthy cause he's ready to go to the moon and back for you

BRAHMS HEELSHIRE:

Bro has big gremlin energy I'm sorry.

At first his going to take it a challenge of seeing how long it takes for you to give up

He's not bratty for sake of being bratty, he has a purpose. he kinda senses when someone is easy to boss around and will take advantage of that

When he sees that your being dominant means having structure and receiving a healthy form of love he will eventually accept his role of sub gremlin

Mate is going to do anything it takes to please you

I feel like one of the things he likes the most about having a dom s/o is the reassurance and comfort it brings to him

He prefers having someone who knows how to handle him and keeps him in line rather than a person who's easy to push around

I mean, half of the work is already done with him having the need to follow a routine and rules

Your personality falls perfectly into place with his, your taking charge of things is almost a comfort blanket for brahms

It gives him the feeling of safety of being taken care and knowing he can rely on someone when things are difficult

The stability you give him is something he deeply appreciates

That doesn't mean he's not going to test your patience more than once

Babyboy here is not going to give a flying fuck about the stability when you happen to say no to him.

Unlike Thomas you can and should make punishment for him

Not too hard-core ones but still

Be careful cause this horny bastard might enjoy sexual punishments

Do tell him when his being good, compliment his appearance and praise him when he takes care of himself cause the reason behind the poor hygiene, not eating enough, lack of sleep ecc is due to his depression and mental problems. He has being raised to feel like a burden and to hide himself and his problems behind the wall so please do all you can to help him not only a talking about his problems but to make him feel like he's worthy of taking care of himself

AYO BIG FAT PRAISE KINK BRUV

One (1) single "good boy" and his soul is skyrocketing out of his fucking body

He finds his relationship with you so fulfilling, it feels nice to have someone who's personality allows him to be more vulnerable

I think having a dom s/o could be really healthy for brahms. He needs the unconditional love and reassurance but also needs someone capable of toning him down in a healthy way when he's getting out of control

MiCHAEL MYERS

He, like brahms, feeds on people's fear. That the whole point of being the shape, he enjoys how much power he has over someone. People who are easy to crush and break down only makes him want to kill them more

Long story short he is girlbossing through life

So probably what saved your life was your dominant nature. He has been observing how you seem to naturally take charge anywhere you go but without being pushy and forcing anyone to do anything

You had this talent of making everyone at ease and effortlessly being able to take the lead. People around you were always willing to do what you needed them to do without being manipulative or anything. You just made everyone comfortable enough to give up control

The tall bastard here was mesmerised and honestly curious

It doesn't need to be said that Michael likes to have always control over everything and associates giving up control to being treated like he was treated back in Smith's groove. He always felt the imbalance of power between him and everyone else there and feeling that weak and vulnerable again is never going to be an option for mikey

After he makes himself known ecc and your relationship starts to bloom it's not going to be fucking easy

You have come to know how much michael dispise when someone else is in charge but both of you are pretty stubborn so eventually you just learned to be more sneaky about it.

Michael dominance is based on being feared so when that doesn't work on you he's flabbergasted

He's having none of it. You mean to tell me that you don't let the shape, the boogeyman of haddonfield boss you around and tell you what to do?? Unacceptable.

He won't say but he doesn't even realise you have already got your way. You're so subtle and gentle, playing your cards well.

Michael ends up being oblivious about the fact that he's already doing what you want him to do. He's a deeply emotional damaged man and even if he doesn't want to admit the fastest way to get to his heart is just taking care of him the way he needs

"Michael, honey you must be hungry aren't you? Why don't seat and eat some dinner, how does that sound?"

Just making everything look like his the one deciding and he will do about anything.

Now here's the tricky part; while this might work as soon as he catches up on what you're doing he's going to distance himself

Maybe he tells himself he will just leave you and never come back but deep inside he can't deny how nice does it feels to be around you. He will do this until he manages to sort out his feelings and finds a way to allow himself to feel like this

He's genuinely scare deep inside. His afraid of you abusing the power you have and honestly he sometimes doesn't feel like it's worthy to put so much effort on making him feel good

He has only ever known a single way to feel good and thats killing people, so when you manage to get him to feel something nice just by being around him ecc it messes up his head a little bit.

He's never going to give you full control but he has somehow managed to meet you along the way.

One of the few things he enjoys (even if he knows you're making it looks like he's in control so he doesn't get uncomfortable) is how you praise him and you tell him all the ways only him is capable of making you feel.

That being said if you're able to get away with being dominant with Michael you're honestly impressive and you scare me.

JESSE CROMEANS:

Hear me out, he would be more than willing to let you be the dom. In fact he would even enjoy it

His having the time of his making things harder for you though

We have talked about praise kink now get ready for degrading kink

If we're talking about laid to rest 1 jesse then he's gonna be a difficult little bitch just because he likes to test you and your capabilities of finding a appropriate punishment that can put in his place

If it's laid to rest 2 ....don't. He won't say anything cause he wants to seem tough but the whole degrading thing will take a tool on him after the incident. His self esteem is not the same anymore and he's going to have a hard time trying to enjoy sex again

I feel like what makes you special to jesse is the significant difference between the way the victims he chooses behaves and how you act.

He enjoys submissiveness in victims cause it makes killing them more fun. Watching as they plead to be spared and how low they're willing to get to survive.

But with you he wants it to be different cause he knows that he's receiving as much as he's giving away. In your hands he will be everything you want

He, like Thomas, enjoys being free from responsibilities and having a space where he can just give the lead to someone else and just enjoy fooling around and being taken care of

Even more after the injuries on his face. Now more than ever jesse wants to feel loved and to let go the tough guy act. If before he liked because of the sex aspect now he truly appreciates the other parts too

Your praise, your constance reassurance of good and perfect he is, the way you incite him into being more nice to himself

Now your punishments are more caused more because of him talking bad about himself than because he's behaving bad

He generally feels a lot of pressure on him, he always has to take a lot of decisions and most of the time there are so many lives (including yours) depending on him and his lead

So coming home to someone who can take that off of him and allow him to just exist is really something he will never thank you enough for

Can and will encourage you in trying anything new you want while doing sex. He's rich so money is not a problem and honestly jesse enjoys trying new things with you cause he knows you would never do anything that could hurt him or his feelings.

Baldy is a good sub. 10/10 would recommend. Would love you and worship the ground you walk on

#slashers #slasher community #slasher fandom #horror movies #slasher fanfiction #michael myers #slasher x reader #halloween #jesse cromeans #jesse cromeans x reader #thomas brown hewitt #thomas hewitt x reader #brahms heelsire x reader #brahms heelshire #the boy #tcm the beginning #texas chainsaw the beginning #peepaw michael myers #og michael myers #rz michael myers #michael myers x reader #slashers headcanons #laid to rest

[bigshot-furbiestm]

Hi!! What are your personal headcanons about Spamton?

Oh this is an ask, thank you so much i've been dying for this.

*sigh* I'm probably going to get carried away and write like 1000 words, aren't I?

I'm a firm believer of acid theory, I think that yeah, he probably was really glitchy and messed up beforehand but the acid is what shrunk him and really made him all puppety if that makes sense. I also like the idea that addisons have fur, but I think it'd be like polyester fur or be synthetic in some way, so that when it comes into contact with the acid it melts and hardens, making him feel like he's made of plastic. This would also make his limbs have 'visible joints' because of the way it'd harden around them if that makes sense? And like- thinner, more delicate parts of his body (lips, eyes, etc.) would probably get melted off or damaged irreparably. He has TERRIBLE vision, the lenses on his glasses are really thick. I also really like the idea that he has really tiny eyes under there <3

I think that pre-acid Spammy would be a pretty alright guy, probably very unhinged and wacky and self-deprecating but cool. He'd definitely not be as tall as the other addisons because I hc them as nearly 7ft tall (maybe taller idk) and he's like, 5'8 absolute gremlin compared to them but average(ish he's on the short side) for humans. I feel like he's the type of guy who obsessively needs to look perfect in every scenario, like he showers a lot, combs his hair a bunch, checks himself in every mirror he sees, that kind of thing. He also absolutely douses himself in cologne cuz a boy's gotta smell good! plus he's wearing a full suit all day and he has fur, he must be baking in it.

In my eyes, he's at least a little autistic. this might just be me projecting onto him but I can see him masking around people when he gets famous, and after the acid and going crazy and so on, he just forgets how to be himself, the mask becomes a part of him kinda. He becomes a persona that I don't think he ever actually wanted to become.

(this is a common headcanon but I love it dearly) He's very artsy, I can see him wanting to be a painter at some point but then learning how difficult it is to make money like that. Painting is a way he works through his emotions and how he visualizes his struggle with control, I can see sunny landscapes and fluffy clouds kind of embodying that concept of heaven/freedom. Painting gets carried over even after he goes crazy, he hand-painted the back wall of his shop and tries to paint whenever he can (when paints get thrown in da dumpster)

He got famous around 19 since the birthdate I and a lot of people hc for him is May 3, 1978 (this might be cannon idk). This means that he'd be 19 in 1997 and is currently 45. I also think that he'd get famous around new years just because that'd mean that the full year of 1997 would be him being famous, then he flops somewhere around 1998.

The leadup to being evicted would be horrible for him. He can feel himself growing mad and he can hear a weird voice in his head that sounds like the man talking to him over the phone. The phone also controls everything about his work, he has no say in the matter, he just signs the documents. In a way, wishing for freedom stripped him of whatever freedom he already had. Again, he is brutally aware of himself losing his own autonomy. His paintings would probably get very dark and he'd rarely go outside. He'd just stay in his apartment in the mansion and work until his head hits the desk because he's always on the phone. I think that the person over the phone would get progressively meaner and more threatening as time goes on.

Pre bigshot Spamton is a mailman in my eyes. A little guy with a messenger bag who's always kind of nervous and a little sweaty but that's okay because he's a cutie. The other addisons kind of look down on him for being a mailman and even though they do love him like a brother, they don't include him in a lot of things. This makes him resent them quite a bit. (typing this out is making me realise that he's kind of like pink diamond from steven universe in this way?? lol)

Going back to how he's a little nervous, I think he'd only really come into any form of confidence after he makes the deal with (presumably) Gaster and becomes an overnight celebrity. It's the theatre kid buried deep inside of him, the need to act, what is a commercial if not a very persuasive performance?

He also probably dated Jevil during this time, but they both found the dark crystals and went about their own lives. The breakup is MESSY. Spamton feels like he's being held back by this fucking clown who just thinks that everything's a game. While Jevil is content using the crystal to excel at what he was made for, Spamton wants to break out of the status quo. This leads to arguments and them hating each other. :( (don't worry kids, they get back together when they're both like- forty lol)

He dyes his hair black because all of the cool human salesmen have darker hair and he wants to be like them. His hair is naturally white. I think his main goal would be to just fit in with them, and make enough money so that he can be free from his shitty mailboy job and live somewhere nice on his own and have all that sweet, sweet FREEDOM. Unfortunately, this went too far and he ended up being made famous. Task failed successfully I guess.

Spamton could summon his little spam cherubs before the acid and they just copy what he looks like and what he's wearing at the time. I think it'd be cute if he used them to open up filing cabinets and bring out documents and stuff :)) they'd also be good to have in photoshoots I think, just to look cool.

Although I agree with the fur thing, I'm iffy on a tail? idk lol, it just seems like a small step too far imo. I still love people's art and headcanons where he has a tail though, it's very cute. I think that physically, addison anatomy is fairly human except for the nose (obviously) and the fur, which I think would be pretty short on all of them except for possibly the chest and tummy :3 and really short like almost not there on their faces and hands, it's a gradient of furriness if you will. They're also usually brightly colored except for Spammy because the printer ran out of ink or some shit, I think he'd be the youngest of all of them by a couple years. Internal anatomy, oh boy here we go. We see his soul in the game so I think it's a nice idea that it always copies the addison's face and emotions. I also think it'd be funny if addisons could shout or at least speak in a raised voice for hours because they're always trying to sell stuff, they can also talk really really fast, (think the symptoms being read out at the end of a drug commercial).

I might add more to this at some point lol but here you go :D

#ask #Spamton #deltarune spamton #big shot spamton #spamton deltarune #spamton g spamton #my spamton headcanons

[chaoticdelinqueerwithglitter]

you are so right about sanzu/takuya. i wanna hear all about them! what are your hcs? I'm so curious!

First of all, thanks for this question anon, it make me so happy to know someone else like them! 💜

In case some one is curious where this comes from, here is my HaruTaku fic!

Okay, for properly answering this I think that I also need to go first with my Sanzu hc for that specific timeline, because for me is related in why they make sense! (and bc I love talking about my lil gremlin, ngl)

Sanzu headcanons for Bad Toman Takemichi TL:

Okay, obv he did wharever he could for being close to Mikey, that goes without saying. But there is two big differences with Bonten.

He's not the second in command, so he has to kinda obey Kisaki (what he hates, always giving that silent hater looks 😎). But since he never showed that "good guys toman type of morals", Kisaki allows him to be one of the fews that still sees Mikey, bc he's not going to influence him or stuff like that, Sanzu is totally fine with the darkness (he isn't bc it triggers him tl0 memories but his denial is strong xD) So his job here is mostly watching over Mikey and ofc, getting rid of traitors! No way Kisaki didn't use that once he realizes, Sanzu devotiton is too easy to control and too useful for his own good 🥲

In the other side, this means is less confident about himself than what we saw in Bonten. He's still unhinged but he's not that loud about it, he doesn't have the selfsteem boost of being his king's right hand. So in a way, he's more insecure about himself and the mission he does, since he has less control about what happens to Mikey. Also, Sanzu is a weirdo, so like happened in early Toman he doesn't properly fit with the rest, besides job related thing he doesn`t have friends there (we could count Mucho if in this timeline Izana was never on the picture, but even with that Sanzu doesn't easyly trust people). It took him more time to stop wearing his mask here and it was probably more gradual!

And what we know about Takuya?

Not much, just that he's a sweet person and a good friend. He probably followed the rest of the Mizo gang (specially Takemichi) and got caught in Toman's violence.

He wears a choker in this timeline and had and aming glow-up including some sick tattoos. Pretty boy with sumi vibes!

This is where my hc starts, there is something about Takuya that screams addiction to me. I don't know how to explain it, maybe is his dull eyes, maybe his body language, but Takuya is coping with drugs (mostly downers bc he just wants to disappear for a few hours... Takuya is a softy 🥲)

Finally... HaruTaku headcanons!

One thing about addicts is that we have a radar, we know when someone else is an addict (similar to gaydar but more selfdestructive). So Sanzu probably started noticing the subtle changes in Takuya and he was intrigue about it. Specially coming from someone that was always surrounded by people he dispised. They never really interacted before, but Sanzu started paying more attention to Takuya, noticing more things about him, like how Takuya was actually shy and sweet behind that quiet appearence. And yeah, maybe a part of him felt indentified with that, he could understand having to act quiet to hide yourself better than anyone. For some reason, Sanzu started thinking that maybe they have more in common that it seems at first sight, and we all know he can be a little bit obsessive, so...

At some point, Sanzu aproached to Takuya. He probably created a situation when it could feel almost natural, I personally picture him waiting until Takuya is having some drinks alone (no way he's gonna talk with the other idiots if he can avoid it) and sitting next to him, paying the next round.

Takuya was probably intimidated, with reasons. But at the same time, he was drunk and high and Sanzu is pretty, so damn pretty! So he couldn't and wouldn't resist, it was easy for him to feel flatered by Sanzu's awkward way of flirting (c'mon, he doesn't have social skills, we all know that). And Sanzu? He just told to himself that he was curious, nothing more. Just one night for satisfying his curiosity, that was all. For understanding why on earth he felt that weird attraction towards Takuya.

OBVIOUSLY IT WASN'T ONE NIGHT! 🔥

Mix two pretty boys that are craving for love and affection and a lot of drugs? Recipy for disaster and unhealthy relationship, yey!

The fact Takuya is a submissive person who is numbed by the drugs most of the time and Sanzu has a lot of pent-up agression and is usually high of a mix that includes more estimulants than what Takuya is doing, only leads to unsafe sex where no-one is controlling shit or in the proper state of mind to be aware of how dangerous is what they are doing. What means a lot of next day regrets! 🎉 (extra: Sanzu has a kink with Takuya's neck and is obsessed with the choker, he calls him "pretty neck" on bed. Takuya weakness is Sanzu in high-heels, specially if they are red, I'm not projecting at all on that one, nopes 👀).

Besides sex, there is more to say about their dynamic, don't worry!

Takuya is the type to be sweet and caring, he hides that side of himself inside of Toman but still shows it in his personal life. It wasn't easy for him to feel relaxed around Sanzu and he was afraid of showing his kindness and being mock by the other. But for me Takuya is also an observing person, so I think it didn't took him a long time to realized how wounded is Sanzu, how he actually hates being in his own mind more than anything, how much he craves love, aproval, affection. So he started showing more of his loving side, having small gestures towards the other, always in private. Physical displays of affection in general, but also waking him with coffee, paying attention to his needs or his routine, making sure he felt comfortable even when they slept in Takuya's apartment (that now is always extremely clean only for Sanzu)

And Sanzu? He was melting with all of this. Well, to be fair at the beginning he was baffled, unsure or what to do or how react to someone showing him affection and kindnes, specially since Takuya didn't seem to be expecting anything in return. But once he finally understood it was fine to let Takuya spoil him and treat him like he actually deserved love... Then he was melting. Wakui said Sanzu is the most needy/clingy, so he started to be the one asking (demanding) for affection, wanting to be pampered, resting his head on Takuya's lap and enjoying how he plays with his hair (that's a privilege, he's really protective of his glorious pink hair! It's totally baji's fault)

Do they love each other? Well, that's complicated. Their relationship is not exactly public and they never talked about what it is, always pretending is something casual. It's easier like that (no it's not but they are bad at feelings). Takuya is aware that he's falling more for Sanzu every day, but he's terrified of the other reaction if he actually says the three words, so he hides it. Or tries to, because he pours this love in every small gesture, specially during their lazy mornings, when between the hangover and the guilt Sanzu acts a lot softer, wanting to give Takuya all the after-care he's able to dom

And Sanzu... Well, he wouldn't say he loves loves Takuya (because Mikey exists 😮‍💨), but he admits to himself that he deeply cares about the other. That there is more than atraction, that he enjoys their time together. Affection? A less obsessive love than what he feels for Mikey? He isn't sure and he can't deal with it, so he settles with caring.

Of course, we also need to talk about Mikey's ghost! Sanzu knows Takuya is not Mikey, is not that he's projecting him on the other all the time, it's just... He yearns for Mikey, he can't help it. So, sometimes, Takuya's blond locks make him feel that longing and he can't stop himself to imagine for a few seconds (delusional HaruMai in every timeline, hell yeah!🔥). In counted ocasions, when he's really high and out of himself, he says Mikey's name during sex and pretends to not remember the next morning because he feels too ashamed of it. He remembers more than he wishes, but he feels like shit and can't talk about that, he can't avoid feeling guilty, thinking that Takuya deserves better, deserves somone that is not using him as a replacement. Takuya understanding only adds more fuel to his guilt.

In that ocasions he tends to act distant for a few days, trying to dettach himself, to pretend he doesn't miss Takuya's affection. Until reality comes crushing down on him again and he ends up looking for Takuya, knocking at his door in the middle of the night.

Takuya felt hurt the first few times this cycle happened, but he didn't had the courage to actually confront Sanzu about it. Until one of that nights he saw how broken was Sanzu, he saw a little bit of the pain that the other usually hides from the rest of the world. It was the first Sanzu cried infront of him and the first time he called him "Haruchiyo", earning a surprised look and a weak smile 🥹

Since then, when Sanzu acts like that Takuya gives him space, understanding is not about him, that the other is fighting with his personal demonds.

And... That's it for now because I need to stop myself at some point or this will end up being longer than a fic. Maybe I will add more things in the future! 🙈

And hey, now that I look at it, they are not that terrible for each other if it wasn't for the amount of drugs and the dangerous sex. But hey, there is also love and sweetness and Sanzu needs that, so... Not that bad? 👀

I almost forgot! @lucifugousart is the amazing artist that did a Takuya fanart and is cooking something even better!

(feel free to add your own hc too, Andre! HaruTaku is a collaborative ship 😌)

#i ended up doing a longer post than the proper fic oopsie #i hope this hc makes sense and is what you wanted anon! #i could ramble about this for hours #well about sanzu in general #harutaku #sanzu haruchiyo #takuya yamamoto #tokyo revengers headcanons #tokyo revengers

[scarrletmoon]

im not trying to start shit so im not tagging this but i'm just thinking about ed/izzy and how it doesn't make sense

like. izzy feels like the shitty ex who's convinced you that no one else gets you and no one ever will, so as uncomfortable as you feel with him, as much as it feels like you're missing something, you don't know exactly WHAT you're missing. plus, you've never had a relationship that's lasted as long as this one, and everyone says relationships are hard work. so maybe this IS what you deserve. at the end of the day, yeah he's an angry little fucker but he's loyal. you know he'll always have your back bc he's dedicated like no one else. and what's a relationship if not respect and loyalty?

except izzy has a very concrete but wrong idea of who ed is. he wants ed to fit a certain mould, which has severely stunted ed's growth and made him miserable.

i get ed/izzy as like, a terrible toxic relationship where two people stay together bc they think they have no one else -- izzy clings to ed bc blackbeard represents everything he wants to be as a man, ed stays with izzy bc he's useful and like, look at the poor guy, you can't just ditch him after 20 years. ed's not HEARTLESS. izzy's good, deep down.

deep, deep down

but then you see how stede immediately sees the best in ed, knows that ed can do better. stede brings out the softer parts that ed's been unable to access for years, doesn't shame him for not being a paragon of manliness or whatever. ed is HAPPY with stede.

and like, stede is a BITCH. he's selfish, obnoxious, shamelessly grandiose and loves being the center of attention, will happily ignore other people's needs to serve his own and also somehow has such terrible self esteem that he thinks he doesn't actually matter at the end of the day

but stede CARES. he never tries to really change anyone to fit an image he approves of. he doesn't go out of his way to harm anyone unless they've harmed him or someone he loves. his loyalty isn't conditional; when he loves ed, he loves him exactly as he is. and i think the reason why he dislikes Jack so much is bc jack turns him into this dumb frat boy who doesn't think for himself and he knows ed is better than that. ed reads it as judgement bc that's all he's ever gotten from others. but stede means it as "there is so much good in you already" rather than "i wish you would change into a shape i approve of"

so like. WHY DO PEOPLE THINK ED WOULD BE HAPPIER WITH IZZY. ed isn't even romantically attracted to izzy? izzy clearly, obviously, is HOPELESSLY in love with ed. but it's worse for both of them if they stay together, as friends or romantic partners. if they stay together, they stagnate. apart, ed can flourish. idk about izzy but maybe he'd be less of a cunt if he loosened his sphincter and learned that he doesn't ACTUALLY have to control everything in his sight

i get relating to izzy as someone who's been in love with someone who'll never love them back, but like. i'm sorry. im so sorry. but you should think better of yourself than izzy. you don't have to be miserable, and part of finding your own happiness might involve leaving the person you've been in love with for years who's never going to give you what you need

not saying you can't like the little gremlin but i'm just very confused about people who impart this softness onto him that doesn't actually exist, and won't exist until he exhibits some desire to change as a person

anyway if anyone comes to this post or my inbox cussing me out for this, im just blocking on sight bc i'm not fighting with izzy fans again who'd rather be cruel than either engage respectfully or just ignore me

if you dont like what i have to say, the block button is literally!! right there!!

#scarrlet rambles #having Thoughts #i dont think any of this should be controversial but i bet it will be! #im already tired lmao