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#And I still don't have any alcohol
subsequentibis · 5 months
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reposting this commission i got from @neonjawbone a little while back! these are two characters from a sideblog that i'm working on shaping up to put into underbelly and i love them very much <3 the guy with the short hair is luther and the guy with the braid is cam and there's a lot going on with them just in general
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bogglebabbles · 2 days
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Bought some food-grade lavender a bit back and it FINALLY got in which means I shall finally be making lavender syrup again for the first time in like 7 years.
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whatagrump · 3 months
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fleabag's hot priest really is so so hot to me to the point where i'm trying to deconstruct his character to pinpoint my own orientation. but i think it's mostly a) he Sees you and b) he's unobtainable and you want to obtain him and he does not want to be obtained but you're literally irresistible to him.....hot. hot hot hot.
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spirestar · 6 months
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Being a million tiny pieces of nothing is a taxing job. Living a little life in each mote and cell, every invisible creature inside a drop of blood and each drop of blood in a stream and all the little bugs that aren't bugs at all that creep inside veins and sleep. There is nothing but the big vat of it all, of life, of living and wishing for dying and living too many times to count. Laughter inside of paper walls that glow like a candle in a lover's window. All the little creatures never go quiet under skin, always with their cicada wings rubbing noisily and their crying, mourning, sobbing. It makes the one they live inside's head feel like it may burst---And here's the doctor to diagnose them, to call them imagination and call them liars. In the warm, gentle arms of twyrine Peter can't hear them, not so much; If every dream of that wretched miracle is a song, he will hear them, but by the god that is his brother and his own hands made one, he wishes they'd leave him alone.
"You just ran into the wall. It's time to lie down." That voice swims in his ears for longer than he realizes, reverberating off the wide walls of center stage. The Bachelor, cast in a halo of light, a beam overhead blazing into the back of his head. And Peter is only backlit, a veritable shadow where he's landed / crashed / fallen to the wooden floor. Where is the wall? Where is his pen? Peter has seen angels in his sleep, has been sung to and flayed and used to create whatever masterpieces they deigned, but never has he touched one in a waking hour; He blinks blearily, the light too hot and bright in his face.
There's a hand on his arm--helping him up?--and that dingy orange light of his brother's watering hole has returned. Iron stings his tongue, thicker than ichor, and he laughs. Helpless. The world is a swirl of nothing at all, the same the same the same, and he is the only fraying end, unspooling himself onto the floor into tangles and knots that no one will ever dare gather up to salvage. Part of Peter misses that light. Dankovsky is all human again. There's nothing more beautiful than humans, mortal and fickle and true. Nothing more terrifying than the divine they create, the divine they empower and revere. Peter should know: He can remember killing god in his sleep, or was that his shadow?
"Bachelor," he breathes, the least coherent bits of him grasping for anything other than the fellow's name. For some reason it frightens him so now. "A wall where there was none--Just picture it." For effect, and perhaps for comedy that he no longer has any grasp of but once did, he knocks a trembling hand against said wall. The one he's clearly left him mark on, if the blood on it is any proof. His nose maybe? He can't really feel the source. "Now, why do you think my brother would do that to me. He knows I hate a cage," a willful smile, "and a jailer. That's not you, is it? Shepherding the little sheep and diseases to sleep?" Peter leans into the arm holding him up, but not because he means to. "Have you had a drink?"
@heartinhands
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shopcat · 9 months
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also whenever i joke about going to america and getting cheeseburger that is obviously in a loving way i never had a cheeseburger when i was there and it ruins me. and the joke is funny but like that post that's like americans live to say brother this one's on the house. which kills me. but it's not hateful ☝️ OR in that way those wet eyed losers who call all americans dumb and stupid and are like insane and classist and racist abojt it. also apparently when i was there we also went to a diner where the waitresses were on rollerblades and i didn't even fucking notice because i had a cold and was zonked out of my mind which also is just crazy. Land of dreams
#🐾#and then they went off menu to make me a chicken soup which was really sweet and makes me cry a little thinking about it#anywya i love america any hate i have is for individual idiots who americans would also hate#ans anyone not from there can probably relate it's all just minor annoyances that stack up over a life time but that they don't even think#abt. like the centralisation of american media and news#RMR WHEN j posted about drinking alcohol when i was 18 and someone was like but that's not the drinking age#and i was like no it is where i live and thy were like well you should still abide by the 21 age bc that's there for a reason and ur#setting a bad example. BRAH#or when the election comes round and people forget there are ? 😭 other countries#honestly politics is such a big one the audacity to be mad that we don't CARE at all about american politics like that#i don't care who the president of a country 15000 miles away is 😭 name one australian state#but i dunno like yeah it's all petty shit but i think we're allowed to be annoyed 🤨#also when americans in particular but europeans as well try and have opinions on things happening HERE#still mad that one time i saw a callout for someone for race faking bc they were whitepassing and said they were indigenous australian#like you have to be actually fucking stupid to ignorantly comment like literally do one google search#or when they make fun of city and town names here sounding silly or made up 😭 wild#anyway. way too much to even go over but this is still all individualised annoying cunts#i think america is a cool place 👍 with as many flaws as every other country and as much history of covering them up as them as well 👍
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imaginaryanon · 5 months
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drowning my sorrows (watched the finale of a silly little comedy show)(how is this thing a comedy btw. genuinely. fucking hello??)
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lynxgirlpaws · 3 months
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>do nothing all day >finally start editing >hear my voice >massive self hatred god I fujcking love this
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sonickitty · 2 years
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is it that "people aren't learning critical thinking anymore" and "no one knows how to think critically anymore," or is it that people who have had time to develop those skills are coming into contact with people who have not, and it's happening all day all the time on every major online platform?
I'm just saying, when I was learning critical thinking skills, no one was there to hear my half-baked takes but my Dad and English teacher. Now people in their teens and early 20s have the whole internet at their disposal with almost zero anonymity. They're visible and vocal in a way Millennials couldn't really be at that age. So, like, of course? There's gonna be some issues in critical thinking? Fuck, it took me decades to learn that shit. I know Kids These Days are at risk from TERFs and Incels and alt-right jagoffs, but we also need to cut them some fucking slack and not demand more maturity than they have the time or energy to give. Do you know how much sleep people in that demographic need? So much. So much sleep.
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telemarcs · 1 year
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Why do people have to remind me of my birthday in June?
#just a reminder of how far behind i am in life#and how much my illnesses have taken from me#not being in a relationship not going out with friends not that i care about parties and alcohol anyway but still not having my license#not having taken a plane anywhere not having left Scandinavia i don't have a degree i can't work i don't have any friends here where i live#I'm depressed i have 4 illnesses#i have anxiety about a lot#i spend my days distracting myself to cover up the fact I'm not okay at all because i don't wanna cry so hard that my face gets swollen and#I'm in pain because that's what happens when i realize how things are#i have dreams I'm terrified of never achieving I'm terrified I'll never meet someone who it clicks with and i wanna meet them either#friendship or relationship wise#I'm scared my health will get worse#I've never lived alone and i hate my hometown so much i feel trapped but idk how i can leave on my own rn idk how much I'll be able to take#care of myself#i dont get help from docs I'm feeling crap and I'm losing weight and still i feel too fat#and I'm embarrassed over my food problems that i just hate dinners and can't stand most foods and then there are my food allergies and#ahh idk I've done well over 25 things to improve my life just the past year but it still feels like I've made no progress#I'm scared to lose my interests completely to lose people I'm scared because there has been so many bad news the past year I'm just scared#and idk how i can stop thinking negative I've spent my whole life fighting my illnesses the system the docs and i just wanna live#but I'm scared all those years wanting to die will backfire at me because of all these bad thoughts#i know i shouldn't compare my journey to others because we're all so different but it's so hard to come to terms with that#when the chronically ill representation isn't shown much#don't worry about me I'll manage it's just one of those days#idk ignore tmi i guess so will delete probably#trigger warning#tw#really don't wanna trigger anyone with this :((((#but i probably am so I'm sorry I'm an idiot as always just focusing on myself too much
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widowshill · 5 months
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i'm not saying v would fix his alcoholism. she could, however, sway him towards other hedonistic outlets exponentially healthier, which is really a win for everyone involved (especially the helpless collinsport pedestrians)
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no-one-hears-me · 8 months
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really thinking about how my only options are to continue starving and stay skinny or eat but gain weight. I can never be normal
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twilightarcade · 8 months
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I love making a character and then them immediately morphing into a knockoff of my dad. Like haha u were a guy but now you're just like my dad in particular and I'll never forget about that how does that make you feel
#wordstag#it's happened like... 3 times#maybe it's that whole like father like son whatever thing. He's bleeding into my personality and I just go haha yeah no that's my dad#I have considered stealing from my grandpa's speech habits intentionally but#one has the exact opposite of speech habits. Not speaking habits. Kinda like my dad but slightly worse#the other would probably be a bit disconcerting to hear in any of my stories because it would likely be received with immediate suspicion#the other other I never met. He was an largely absent thogh according to my dad#he had a cool car? Alcoholic. Maybe thats why my dad is like this#anyways about my other (the first other) grandfather he was really like#well he was in the army and he loves me and my sister#he would always tell us to watch each other's 6 (then clarify that 6 meant back) whenever we left#which would be mildly disconcerting (I literally just made that word up idk if I'm using it right) in any context I would put a story in#though maybe it could be played as like.. a red herring or whatever#first grandfather (metioned) is the plant guy#anyways I'm absolutely starving. Terrible headache.#but I don't leave for another hour so like. Sucks to be u#getting sorta sleepy and tired of old people#<- that was written an hour ago I'm back home now and ate but I still have a headache#might just sleep about it#I was standing outside in the sun for a bit at the end... got a super cheap sketchbook and some free mechanical pencils though#+another tiny notebook. for the soul#no one ended up beating me up over it. Unfortunately#I think it would've been funny#wish I could come saturday just to see the final totals. But alas
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neganium · 4 months
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finding a new fic in my current hyperfixation's tag on AO3 (y'all know what it is) that is an interesting AU, and hoping all the while as I read that the author isn't fucking nasty like the last person I ran into was (and somehow saw me posting about it even tho I didn't tag it or even mention the fandom in the post itself, and bitched at me for it). They have a twitter handle on their profile, but it's not one I recognize (tho since I go there so infrequently, and have been actively avoiding the place for months now, that doesn't really say anything); idk if they're on tumblr too or not. hh.
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theladyyavilee · 1 year
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#not putting this in any tags so if you don't want to see me rolling my eyes at the whiny people in this fandom don't keep reading xD#BUT#this whole 'the distance between buddie is so forced and there's no point to it and actually it's queerbaiting' shtick is literally just#'oh my god they are forcing endgame bucktaylor on us how could we have ever trusted them why are they trying to make us believe bucktaylor#is a good relationship' and 'oh my god the firefam feels so off this season why would they do that it makes no sense why is it so gloomy#and why did they forget how to write the firefam'#ALL OVER#AGAIN#when both of those storylines were THE POINT and actually pretty well crafted and SUPPOSED to feel off and frustrating#because one of them was about buck settling and the other was about all of the firefam members INDEED being off and needing time to#figure stuff out#like it was literally buck being miserable with taylor#eddie with his impending breakdown#chimney going after maddie and dealing with the fallout from that#bobby dealing with a flare-up wrt his alcoholism and struggling with that#and hen already to a degree dealing with medschool-family-firefighting and a lead up to her leaving#like they all had stuff going on AND IT WAS ON PURPOSE#literally why are you all SO FUCKING HELLBENT on insisting that this time THIS TIME there can't be any purpose to a storyline that#creates a feeling of - I don't even wanna call it distance because it isn't even quite that because they are still interacting - it just fee#feels like both of them are holding back about something#but why are y'all insisting that this time it's not on purpose to be build up for a storyline#but instead it is bad writing/homophobic writing#like#did you all learn LITERALLY NOTHING from s5?#also if I have to see one more person complaining about that buck-hen-denny scene I am going to FUCKING SNAP#one it was a cute scene and other relationships on this show DO DESERVE ATTENTION and two#turn your brain on people#they are not trying to imply that denny-buck and chris-buck is interchangeable#they are setting up for buck learning from whatever happens next episode with denny and denny's bio-dad#because that is important for buck's storyline AND he wilson family storyline because buck brings in a different perspective
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bigsoftbison · 1 year
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sigh
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bibridlizzie · 1 year
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Lizzie Saltzman
#lizziesaltzmanedit#legaciesedit#legacies#lizzie saltzman#legacies edit#tvdverse#She deserved to get a real apology for Hope and have a real deep conversation about it and also acknowledge everything she went through.#She died! She died and all we really got was her saying she hadn't wrapped her head about being immortal in like one line and that was all.#And she yelled that hope killed her in their argument but it's like. She died in a terrible way and was betrayed by someone she thought#she could trust! And she died! That deserves more acknowledgement! Plus I'm glad she likes being a vampire I really am but like. She's#always had issues with her mental health and controlling her emotions/reactions and we don't get anything? Like vamps emotions are supposed#to be hightened and we don't see her struggle with that almost at all. And we don't see any blood lust issues or issues with control#regarding feeding for her or for hope and it's just. We SHOULD'VE. Even Caroline had a few episodes where she was struggling with her#feelings and the blood lust. But whatever.#god she was Murdered by someone she loved. two actually bc josie killed her in s2. and on that note like shes just been through so much.#like she got stuck with a sister who was beyond ableist and blamed her for her own mental illness and breakdowns.#like 'she did this to herself' 'she can choose to take her medication' fuck OFF. and josie readinglizzies personal diary to the other#witches and then defending reading it by saying it was to help her??? as if thats not still fucked up. she literally told landon that#lizzie self harmed like what the actual fuck. in the au world shr blamed lizzie for alarics alcoholism and caroline not being around.#lizzie constantly got put down by her own sister and treated like she was broken and told she was suffocating for literally being mentally#ill. it'll never not be so ridiculous to me that Josie straight up acted like lizzies mental illness was a bigger problem and harder to#deal with for her than for lizzie. like??? she literally told lizzie rhat she never changes as if lizzies not the most developed character#in the show and isnt constantly trying to improve and working on herself. like. imagine being called suffocating and told that you take up#all the air in the room just bc you have a mental illness you literally cannot control. penelope and josie fuck all the way off like.#i could go on forever but lizzie deserved to call Josie out and be mad about it all. hope should've gotten to go off on her too. tbfh#hope and mg lizzie defense squad forever. (also. josie saying mg (who has adhd) 'has the impulse control of a preschooler'. like shut UP.#character#my moodboards#luca's stuff#moodboard tag
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