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#And I’d stayed home from school that day because I was sick
arthur-r · 7 months
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tonight is my last night sleeping in my bed. possibly for the rest of my life. and my last time in my room possibly for the rest of my life. and i want to just get a good night’s sleep to be ready for a long day tomorrow but it’s really not working out like that.
#my family is still up in the air maybe selling this house within the next month#in which case i will never be in this room ever again. otherwise i will be back for the holidays so there’s still a month of this bedroom#if we sell the house in the spring instead (only rational option there’s no way we can empty it in time)#especially since i will not be in this house whatsoever until after that sell date. my mom all by herself can’t empty it all#anyway i’m struggling a bit. saying goodbye to my home of 14 years????#i’ve been through a lot in this place and most of it is bad memories but like. every good memory i have is from here too….#and everyone i know irl is staying local i’m the only one who’s leaving. one irl friend is going to the same school as me but we had a fight#within the past month and i don’t think we’re ever going to recover because she just kind of never treated me like a person#so i’m starting from scratch and it’s really.. like fuck i want to get out of here but i’m also not at all ready to actually leave#i’m just going to miss all the stupid little things so much. even my online memories are tied to this place#like the woods down the street where my deer friends live and the ditch i fell into back in the day and all the places i’ve gotten lost#and they’ll be right here waiting for me and i’m SO excited for college i am but why does it have to feel so sudden????#i dont know how anyone does it.. and all my friends are going to colleges in their hometown so i don’t even have anyone to compare with#i found out today that if we keep the house through the winter my mom is planning on using my room as a guest room and office. and of course#that makes sense and everything but now i have the most crushing guilt for not cleaning it up well enough. i thought it would be okay and#i’d just have to deal with it when i come back and i didn’t know she wanted to use it and she’s going to box up all of my things without me#and i feel guilty that i didn’t do that and i feel scared and upset because it’s my things and my room i don’t want it to change#i’m just really anxious and sad and scared and i don’t know what to do. school is going to be good but none of this feels real or normal#and i just feel sick and scared and i don’t know what to do. waking up at 8am and leaving at 9am and moving in at 2pm and that will be it#my mom and sister are staying for a couple days and that will be good i hope. i dont know i feel so conflicted about everything#and i’m tired and sick and angry and overwhelmed and i just want to take a week off and come back alive again#and i guess that’s what i’m about to do.. after i move in there’s eight days before college starts and all i’ll be doing is moving in#(and welcome week activities. and a lot of sleeping. but hopefully i’m gonna get a rollator through a loan program and that will help a lot)#anyway here’s what’s going on. i’m going to maybe try to sleep i guess. but if anyone has advice or encouragement about moving to college..#now is the time i really need it. it’s just so strange and conflicted and everyone i know has been telling me i just need to get out of here#and myself included i really want to get out of here. but how can i start anew when everyone i’ve loved is shattered. and what have you#think i have to listen to that song for long enough to remember how badly i want to leave….#i’m just really not feeling well. i’m angry that i never got to have the childhood i deserved#because now i’m leaving and that means it’s officially over…. i’m just really not feeling well. i think i’m running out of tags….#i hope you all are well. i’ll be around in the morning maybe.. i’m not sure. hope everyone has a good night
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rosewine-5 · 4 months
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Eyes Never Lie
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Coriolanus Snow x b!woc capitol reader
(Contains spoilers for T.B.O.S.&S)
A.N: what the hell is a p.o.v anyways, it bounces from one character to another. I am not the best writer so if you see a spelling mistake/ typo I apologize, I’ll get better.
A.N 2.0 : this might get a part 2 because my mind got one idea, then another and I just RAN with it.
Word Count: 4.2k words (trust me, it was more)
———
When the both of you first met, it just so happened to be your first year at the academy. At the time, you were only acquainted to one person, a nice boy who, despite his riches, was very humble, and dare you say good looking: Sejanus Plinth. He had approached you, making civil conversation, and before long you both discovered the two of you had similar thoughts and opinions, particularly about the capitol.
That was when you first laid eyes on him. The tall blue eyed blonde boy. From the look on his face, anyone could tell he was a little nervous, hell everyone was a bit nervous to be here, being the first day and all. But flexing your hand every 5 seconds is a clear sign you’re about to pass out from fear. That was when you approached him, Sejanus not too far behind.
When he turned to you, his eyes widened a little, shocked someone was looking to make conversation with him. While his eyes went from in between Sejanus and yourself, yours stayed on his face. He kept a calm face, not showing a lot of expression, one free lesson growing up you had mastered.
Even though you were blessed to grow up in the capitol, you never much cared for the people, viewing the other districts almost like animals and not people infuriated you.
But you were good at hiding your expression behind your eyes, and this boy was good at it too. Too good. In fact, you couldn’t tell what he was thinking, “Odd, I can usually tell, even guess what people think.” Not him, not Coriolanus Snow, as he introduced himself. You knew of him, just not anything about him other than his family name.
As years went by, it became clear the 3 of you would be close friends, but your feelings for Coriolanus grew deeper than yours for Sejanus. You couldn’t see Sejanus as much as you could Coriolanus, so naturally you would have a deeper connection. The both of you even walked to school most of the time because you lived so close together.
Today you decided to add a couple of beads onto your braids this morning and walked out of the house. After walking a couple of blocks, you spotted Coriolanus just walking outside, and waving to you. “You’re up early.” You said, giving him a short hug which he returned. “I didn’t want to be late.” You rolled your eyes as he said that, “You’ve never been late to class, ever.”
He looked forward, a smirk on his face. “Can’t afford to be late.” He always answered. You looked up at him, his eyes never wavering from the road ahead. “You know why.” He then added, to which you nodded as a reply.
You discovered his true reasoning of why he strived to be top of the class by chance. He had gotten sick as he was walking home, having an uncontrollable coughing fit and fell out on the grass. You refused to let him walk home alone and that was the first time you had seen him so vulnerable. He almost looked embarrassed when you helped him in his home and to his room.
As you helped him out of his jacket, he slowly laid back. You went to get a towel to wipe the blanket of sweat off his forehead. As you came back, he caught your hand. “I’m sorry you had to see this.” He weakly said, returning your attention to him,” Go ahead, laugh at me.” I shook your head, “Why would I? You’re my friend.” You then took the towel and wiped the sweat off his forehead.
“I may have been raised capitol, Coriolanus, but I was also raised with a soul. I’d do anything to survive and succeed in this life, who am I to judge you for doing the same thing?”
For a moment the only thing in the room was the sound of his breathing as his hand reached for your hand, and kissed it, before holding it firmly, never looking away from you. You looked in his eyes, and for the first time you could finally see what he was thinking, “Thank you”. You then nodded, not needing him to say a word as you stood up, and kissed his forehead, “Get some rest, Corio, you need it.” As you walked out of the home, you walked in silence.
You felt like a terrible friend, not knowing how much he was going through. But that wasn’t the only reason, your heart soared when his lips kissed your hand. Sure it might have been an innocent gesture, but the way he looked at you made your heart stop for a second. Sometimes you swear he did it on purpose.
During the last academy year, the closer you got to Coriolanus, the more you realized you truly loved him, and sometimes you thought he loved you back. The walks to the academy became slower and somehow his hand always found yours. At one point you had to run to get there on time, earning the both of you harsh stares from Dean Highbottom and smirks from Sejanus.
The both of you also agreed to study together whenever you could, even including Sejanus whenever he was free. There was no doubt in your mind that either you or Coriolanus would be top of the class, and receiving the Plinth Prize. And if you were the one who came out on top, you would give Coriolanus the funds he needed, whatever they would be.
While you two studies for the last test, he smiled when you rolled his eyes. “Alright smartass, you’re going to pass.” You said. Suddenly, he pulled you into his arms, and hugged you tightly.
You then felt his voice break, “Thank you.” He softly said. “You’re my friend, I’d help you with anything.” You said, looking up at him, a smile splitting your face. As you walked to class the next day & took the exam, he had a sly smirk on his face the whole day. Even at lunch he didn’t drop it. “Someone in a real good mood.” Sejanus said, nudging his shoulder. “Yeah, what’s got you in a good mood?” You teasingly asked. “You know.” He said, looking at you, the smirk turning into a smile, which all of your mirrored.
As the two of you walked back home he had a smile on his face again. Confidence. As he stayed close behind you, you stopped when you got to his doorstep. “So, here’s to winning the Plinth Prize tomorrow.” You said, giving him one last hug, which he returned. That was when you lifted your head to look up at him, but he was already looking down at you. Once again, you couldn’t read the thoughts behind his eyes, but you could make a good guess. He only had that similar look when it was just the two of you together: admiration.
“What is it?” You asked, a nervous chuckle leaving your mouth. He only shook his head, offered you a smile, finally releasing you from the embrace. “See you tomorrow, Calanthe.” He whispered before going inside. “One day I’ll look up what that name means.” You said to yourself, walking home.
The next day, graduation day. You woke up early to get your makeup on, slicking your edges back, and, to enhance your braids, added a gold charm in the middle. Afterwards you got dressed in the outfit Tigris made for your graduation. She insisted on it and told you she wouldn’t take no for an answer. As you walked to their home, you heard your name being called from behind you. Tigris was waving you down before hugging you excitedly. “Turn around for me!” She said, making you twirl as she admired her work.
As you waited, you saw Grandma’am clip a rose and walk out of her room. “Oh, dearie don’t you look gorgeous.” She said, smiling at you and opening her arms to you. You met her in the middle and gave her a light hug. “Not a gorgeous as you, Grandma’am.” You said, smiling at her kind words. She then walked forward and after an exchange of words, pinned the rose to his vest.
His eyes finally met yours, and then they took in your dress. He walked forward and kissed your hand, a now normal occurrence between the two of you. “Shall we?” He asked, before walking the both of you out the door. As the two of you walked to the academy, you could feel his eyes on you. “You look beautiful.” He said, giving you a smile, and making your heart soar once more.
“And you look dashing today.” You complimented, not missing the red tint on his cheeks. As you two walked up the stairs, his arm looped into yours. “Never missed a class, never been late.” He said to himself. “Corio, you got this.” You said, encouraging him, he offered you a small smile just as a new and familiar voice broke the moment.
“Why Coriolanus Snow.” You saw the small smirk grow on his face. “Clemie.” He said, offering him his other arm. “Hey girl.” She said, nodding to you, and getting a smile in return. “Two girls on your arm, must be your lucky day.” Clemmie teased and making Corio roll his eyes. As she continued to talk, your mind went to the graduation. You were getting more nervous than usual.
Something felt off today, and you didn’t like it.
You didn’t realize you had stayed in a trance until Sejanus walked up beside you, breaking the gaze. “Sejanus, you made it to the reaping for once.” “And you made it to graduation, Festus, we’re both shocked.” After hearing Sejanus’ quips, you went to sit down. You didn’t know why your nerves were acting up, but you couldn’t kick this feeling. “You ok?” You heard a voice ask, Sejanus was standing over you, concern in his eyes. “I’m just nervous about today.” You said, making him nod in response.
“Well, you may be right.” He said, sitting done next to you. That made the hair on the back on your neck stand up. And the look on his face didn’t help either. “What do you mean?” You asked, but getting no answer. Then as the rest of the students sat down, you saw why he was so silent. After it was announced there would be no more Plinth Prize, you looked at Coriolanus, who had a worried expression on his face.
However, when it was announced that the graduates would be mentors of the Hunger Games, that was when you froze, and your mind started to race.
There’s 25 graduates.
There are only 24 tributes.
Someone isn’t getting a tribute.
Going from district to district, started to guess who had a good chance at winning. Your heart broke when one girl, Dill, was pulled out. You stared to wonder if she had been voted so she could die in the arena. When it got to the district 12 female tribute, it was down to you and Coriolanus. His hand found yours and held it tightly, but you didn’t know who was holding on tighter.
“The runt girl from district twelve, she belongs to Coriolanus Snow.”
And that was when you knew he was the one holding on to you. He squeezed your hand so hard you almost thought he broke it.
The tribute: Lucy Gray, was wearing a colorful dress with a corset top. You had to admit, she was beautiful, and so was her dress. You watched as she put a snake on a girls dress, making you smirk. “I love her already” you thought to yourself. But then your mind suddenly came back to reality, you didn’t have a tribute. What did I do wrong? Did I pass? Did I fail?
The only thing that broke your trance was a voice singing, then another. You saw Lucy Gray stand up, and continue to sing by herself. “YOU CAN KISS MY ASS!” She then screamed. As the rest of the people laughed at her, you and Coriolanus shared a look: I like her.
As the laughter started to die down, one voice spoke up. “If you didn’t receive a tribute, report to Dr. Gaul.” Highbottom’s voice spoke up, and then it was silent. All eyes turned toward you, and it made you want to curl up in a ball and die. Sejanus’ hand found yours, giving you a silent squeeze of encouragement, and Coriolanus’ did the same. You then walked towards the woman, a small smile gracing her face.
“Let’s have a talk, child.” She said, her hand finding your back, leading you away from the hall. You were only able to catch a small glimpse of Coriolanus’ worried expression as you went down the hallway. She started to hum a tune while she led you to her lab. You had never been here, but you always wanted to get a peek. “Guess I got my wish.”
“I’ve been watching you, dear, for a long time.” She said, going further into the room. “Almost the top of your class, but you could never quite get that edge.” Dr. Gaul said, pinching her fingers together. “Why am I here?” You asked, finally finding your voice. Dr. Gaul then raised her eyebrows, and then let out a dark chuckle. “Let me ask you: What do you crave most in this world?”
You sighed, “To survive and thrive in this world.” She nodded, “Good answer.” She said, smiling. “You and your friend, Coriolanus, you two are good friends. Bonds like that build trust, those bonds can help you live as much as they can destroy you.” Dr. Gaul said, going to one of her glass cases in her lab. You didn’t know what the hell was in it, and frankly, you didn’t want to know. “I’ve known President Ravinstill for a long time, and we both live well, and thrive.” She said, putting her hand on your shoulder before looking down at you.
“I see myself in you, child. You thirst for survival, but to thrive you need to reach for power,” that was when she gave you a deadpanned look, “that’s why I pulled you from the games.” Your eyes widened at the realization, and she smiled once more. “You don’t need the Plinth Prize when you got mommy and daddy’s money. Why settle for a housewife when you have the brains of game maker.”
You almost shouted when she finished, “Game maker?” You said, to which she nodded. “You’ve always been a curious child, a strong appetency for knowledge.” Dr. Gaul said, putting her gloved hand under your chin. “You want a look behind the curtain? You wanna know how the puppeteer makes the strings? You need to join the magic show.”
You thought about your options, but you knew this opportunity wouldn’t come around twice. Almost like she knew your answer, Dr. Gaul then took you hand, and led you deeper into her lab.
After talking for hours, you knocked on Coriolanus’ door and it immediately opened to a shocked Tigris. “Where’s Corio?” You asked, after hugging her. It didn’t take long for him to come around the corner and hugged you tightly. “What happened? Did you get hurt?” He asked, but you stopped his hand as he examined your face. “I’m okay. Dr. Gaul just pulled from the competition.” You calmly said, and immediately regretted it, the faces of Tigris and Coriolanus going from worry to shock. “Why?” He asked.
She told me she’d be mentoring me from now on. I’ll be studying under her from now on, as well as continuing my classes.” His eyebrows rose before hugging her again. “That’s great news.” He said, but then I hugged him tighter. “For a moment, I thought my life was done for.” He nodded, and then looked you deep in the eyes. “We will get through this. I promise you.” You left a few minutes later, but before you got down the street, Coriolanus caught you “Hey!” He shouted, making you turn around. He was running towards you, holding out a wrapped cloth.
“I meant to give you this at the graduation, but you were pulled away.” He said. You unwrapped it, and smiled when you saw the flower charm. You smiled and held it tightly. “I meant to get a charm for this one day.” You said, looking up at him. “Guess I beat you to it.” He said, before returning the smile. “Meet me at the train tomorrow. I have a plan on how to get in Lucy Gray’s good graces.” You nodded and went home afterwards.
The next morning you got up early and put your uniform on before walking to the station, where Coriolanus was already talking to Lucy Gray, who saw you walking up to them. “Another mentor?” She suddenly said, turning towards you, pointing a white rose in your direction, obviously a gift from Coriolanus. Smart.
That was when he turned to you, and put an arm around you. “This is Lucy Gray. Lucy Gray, this is my closest friend.” He said, and you gave her a smile. “Another rebel?” She said, looking at you. “If it fits,” you said, shrugging, before leaning closer to her. “ loved the stunt you pulled with the snake by the way.” You added, making her smirk.
The moment was cut short when a peacekeeper nudged her and the male tribute towards a vehicle. “It was lovely to meet you two.” She said, before being led away to the back of a van. You then saw his eyes go to the van, and then it clicked in your head. “Corio, don’t.” You said, but it was too late. He was running toward the van, and you were following close behind him. It finally registered what you just did when he slammed the door behind him and felt the van move, going wherever it was going.
And now here you two were.
In a vehicle.
Full of tributes who were looking at the two of you like lions to lambs. Corio put you beside him, putting you closer to the tribute from 2 and the wall. “Hi.” He said, his voice sounding weak. “You in the wrong cage pretty boy, pretty girl?” The tribute Realer asked, tilting his head to look at you. “This cage is delightful.” He said, and then Reaper went towards Corio, pinning him to the back. You yelped when you were then surrounded by the tributes. “Shit.” You thought.
Somewhere between the exchange between Corio and the other tributes, you felt the truck come to a sudden stop, getting everyone’s attention. That was when you felt the truck start to tilt forward, everyone started to slide down. In one swoop you reached for Lucy’s hand as she reached for yours as Coriolanus wrapped one arm around your waist and your free arm around his shoulders. The three of you were able to hang on to each other as the other tributes began to slide down and out of the van. The three of you followed suit after the harness broke, sending you all tumbling out of the truck.
Lucy slid down first, with you and Corio falling out last. He was able to wrap both of his arms around you before everyone let out groans and curses from falling on rocks. When you were able to look up, you realized exactly where you were: The Capitol Zoo. And if fate couldn’t make it any better, Lucky Flickerman was in front of the pen, with his entourage of cameramen. “You gotta be kidding me.” You said, groaning and leaving you head down, only to be met with a blue shirt.
As you lifted your head, you were face to face with Coriolanus, who, somehow, had managed to keep his hold on you when everyone tumbled out of the van. “You ok?” You asked, to which he nodded. “Yes. Are you ok?” He asked, and you nodded in response. His eyes went to your necklace and the rose charm attached to it, a smile blooming on his face. His hand touched it, “You put it on.” He said in a soft tone & a tender look in his eyes.
As you both smiled at each other, you felt one hand go to your cheek and to then the other to your waist. The rest of Panem melted away as his breath hit your face. You forgot about being in the capitol, being Gaul’s student, and the tributes around you as you looked in between his eyes and his lips. “Calanthe.” He whispered, his voice so soft it was almost a whisper. That was until the voice of Flickerman broke the moment. “Are those academy students?” He said, and the both of you looked up to see the camera pointed directly at you.
“You guys ok?” Lucy asked, walking up to the both of you. “Yeah, you?” You asked, getting off of Corio and helping him up. The three of you looked around, and sighed. That’s when you began to brainstorm: how could you get out of this without getting expelled? “We gotta get them to love her.” You said to yourself. You then brought your necklace to the front of your shirt before unbuttoning the top button, making the rose charm more visible. “We give them what they want: a performance.” You then walked to Lucy and began to smooth out her hair while Corio broke the white rose and tucked it behind her ear.
He then put her hand out for Lucy to take, which she accepted. He then turned and opened his arm towards you, making you raise your eyebrows. “Trust me.” He whispered, and Lucy nodded towards his arm, and that’s how you found yourself being next to him as he presented Lucy to a pair of children at the cage.
You weren’t only shocked of how he fell into the role of a mentor, but how Lucy played her part as a tribute. She had a smile on her face when she talked to the children, and a calm expression when Flickerman approached and interviewed her. You couldn’t help but smile as she talked about her dress and where she was from. The Covey sounded like it was a homely group of people. You couldn’t help but picture how the nature of district 12 looked.
That was when Lucky Flickerman turned towards you. “And who might this lovely lady be? Are you also her mentor?” He asked, the camera’s filling the microphone as it was put in front of you. An innocent smile grew on your face as you shifted your tone into a kind voice, while still having a serious edge to it. “No sir, I’m taking courses from Dr. Gaul instead of being a mentor in the games. I’m here to support my dear friend, Coriolanus Snow.” You said, smiling up at him, which he responded by squeezing you closer to him. “You both seem pretty close for dear friends. How long have you known each other?” Flickerman asked, moving the microphone to Coriolanus.
“Since the first day we went to the academy. She approached me, and we’ve been close ever since. I’ve never known a more intelligent and alluring woman.” He said, and your eyes did a double take at his choice of words. Before you could answer, peacekeepers walked in and escorted you out of the cage. “I’ll come back later.” You said to Lucy Gray, holding her hand for a moment before you were taken away, Corio coming out a minute later. As the both of you walked back to class, you kept looking up at Coriolanus.
“On a scale of one to expelled, how fucked do you think we are?” You asked, making him chuckle. “He wanted us to make them spectacles, he never said how we had to do it.” He said, nudging your shoulder, making you huff out a short laugh. You then took his hand and gripped it tight, which he reciprocated. “To survive and thrive.” You said, walking closer to the classroom. “We will survive these games,” Coriolanus softly said, before stopping you, and making you look up at him. “I promise you.”
LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK
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tfone4one · 2 months
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Two Best Friends and a Hoodie
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!! P ✰ R N LINK !! - MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS — DNI OR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED.
Pairing: Childhood Best Friend!Kyle “Gaz” Garrick x Gooner!Fem!Reader Summary: (Request from Anon) You and Gaz have been best friends since you were kids. He’d been your first everything, yet you don’t know if you’ll ever be anything more. That all changes when he comes home early to find you and his favorite hoodie. Rating: Mature/Restricted - MDNI; AGELESS BLOGS DO NOT INTERACT. Word Count: 2.5k+ Categories: fluff, smut, friends to lovers CWs: pervert!reader, gooner!reader, reader is described as having female anatomy, Gaz calls reader a pervert, gooner, and slut. Descriptions of sex and masturbation. Unprotected PnV; reader leg locks Gaz. Notes: I was gonna wait to write this, but then I opened the link and it consumed my thoughts all day, so here you go.
MASTERLIST
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No bc gooner!reader and her best friend she’s known since her school years????? Oh my god, you’re so sick. I love you.
You and Kyle had known each other since you were kids. I like to think that he was a bit of a jock. He was on the school’s footie team, had lots of friends, and was super popular. He meets you after you transfer to the school, and being the outgoing, social butterfly he is, he’s the first one to talk to you.
Instantly, you two click. You guys have the same humor, same taste in music, and you have the same classes, which means you got to see him all the time. Eventually, you two start hanging out outside of school, studying, getting coffee, sometimes you hang out on the bleachers during his footie practices. You two were inseparable.
He becomes your first everything. At fifteen years old at a party, the two of you share a beer in the backyard of one of your other friends. It’s your first time drinking alcohol, and you wince at the taste. He laughs and takes the bottle from your hand, assuring you that you don’t need to drink it if you didn’t want to.
But you keep drinking, and he stays by your side. Eventually, the both of you become tipsy, you more than him, and you’re smiling and giggling as you lean against him.
“I’m really glad I met you, Kyle,” you say, slurring just the slightest. “I was so scared to come to a new school. Didn’t think I’d make any friends. I was quite the loser before I met you.”
Kyle blushes at the confession. “You’re not a loser,” he tells you. He’s leaning in closer. “You’re amazing. Fun. Bright.” His hand comes up to grab your chin. “Sweet. I love being ‘round you, sweets.”
The look in his eyes is mesmerizing. It’s hard to pull away from him as he gets closer and closer with each word that leaves his lips. He keeps singing his sweet praises until he’s finally close enough to press his lips against yours, and you kiss him back.
Eventually, the two of you end up losing your virginities to each other in the bathroom of that party.
Things get a little fuzzy after that. He remains your best friend, but the two of you never claim each other as the time goes on. Hell, he even gets a few girlfriends in that time, but they eventually all leave as they realize that he’s never going to leave you, no matter how hard they tried.
It’s when the two of you turn 18 that you finally work up the courage to ask him what the two of you were, what you were going to be. Before you get the chance to, however, he tells you that he’s enlisted into the British Army, and your world comes crumbling down.
You remember the first time he had to leave. You clung onto him with tears in your eyes as he pressed kisses into your temple. In your head, you’re begging him to stay, begging that he wouldn’t leave you behind like this. What would you do if he didn’t come back?
It’s like he reads your mind because he pulls away and stares deeply into your eyes. “I promise I’ll come back,” he says. He knows it’s stupid to make such a promise. This was the military, after all, but you were one of the reasons that would remind him to stay alive. “I’ll see you soon. As soon as I get back, we can go to that little coffeehouse bookshop that you love, alright?”
Eventually, it gets easier. It’s not that you don’t miss him. You miss him every single day that he’s gone, but after his first two years of being enlisted, the two of you rent out an apartment together. It’s close enough to both your job and the military base that he doesn’t have to stay in the barracks anymore. Each time he comes back, you have a nice meal prepped for him, and he spends almost every waking moment with you that he can.
The two of you still haven’t had a conversation about what you guys are. After the first time he left, you found it would be best to never bring it up. He was in the military now, and the last thing he needed was to worry about a girlfriend.
You find ways to cope with him being gone. Sometimes, you make his favorite meals to eat by yourself. Other times, he gets the opportunity to FaceTime you until you fall asleep on the phone, him watching your snoring face. Most of the time, however, you sneak into his room and steal the cologne that sits on his wardrobe. You make sure to note exactly what it is so that you’re able to buy a bottle of your own. You spray it on your pillows and blankets before you sleep, letting the smell of your best friend consume your brain as your hand wanders into the inside of your panties. Your nimble fingers rub endlessly at your clit, taking you right up to the edge as you pathetically whine and moan his name. You’re loud. You have the freedom to be seeing as you’re all alone in the house.
Each time you feel the pressure in your stomach ready to be released, you stop your movements and whine. You’re desperate for release, yet at the same time, you don’t want to cum just yet. “Kyle,” you slur. “Please. I need you. Miss you so much.”
However, there’s one day where go into his room and you see his favorite green hoodie, the one that says “SERGEANT GARRICK” in bold embroidery on the left side breast area. As you stare at it, you can feel the arousal creep up on you. You couldn’t… right? Sure, you were low enough to steal his cologne and edge yourself to his scent and the simple idea of him, but you couldn’t ever go as far as to actually take a piece of his clothing… Or… Well, you could.
You take the hoodie back to your room, and you immediately strip yourself of your pants and panties. You couldn’t be bothered to remove anything else. You were craving that sweet release.
You bring the hoodie right up to your nose, inhaling the scent of him deeply as your fingers start to rub at your clit. Your cunt is already slick, allowing your fingers to slip and slide over it with ease. You eventually place the fabric underneath you, grinding your wet cunt into it. Your pussy squirts as you go cross eyed—body begging for release. The sleeve of the hoodie hangs from your mouth as you moan. “Fuck, Kyle, please,” you whine. “Wanna cum for you. I’ll be a good girl. Promise. Please just let me cum.”
“Yeah? My good girl wants to cum?”
The sound of Kyle’s voice now filling the room startles you, and you immediately stop your movements. Your eyes return to their normal position, now wide with surprise as you look at him. He’s standing in the doorway, smirking at you as your ride his hoodie.
Your mind is still consumed by the thought of an orgasm. You’d been edging yourself for god knows how long, and you’re incoherent as you try to speak to him. “You— You’re?” You stammer. “When?”
He finally moves, walking towards you. He’s still in his cargo pants and boots, a gray t-shirt is stretched across his torso, allowing you to see his lean yet muscular form peek through the fabric. It hugs his arms nicely. There’s a devilish grin on his face. “Poor girl,” he mumbles, crawling over your body. His hand reaches down to press against your clit, causing you to gasp. “So sensitive.” His eyes flicker down for a moment, and his smirk only grows. “How long have you been touching yourself? Got my hoodie all soaked with those juices, love.”
“I…” You’re lost for words. “Kyle, I’m sorry,” you say once you find them.
His head tilts. “Sorry for what?” He asks. “I have to say, I wanted to surprise you by coming home early, see my favorite girl, but I think I’m the one who got a surprise here,” he chuckles out. “How often do you do this, hm? Is this what you do when I’m not home? You steal my clothes to smell them? Grind your pussy into ‘em, edging yourself? Don’t think I don’t notice my cologne getting empty when I’m away,” he tells you. His nose rubs along the side of your neck before he presses his lips into it, sucking and kissing and biting. “Didn’t know you were such a pervert, love.” His fingers travel from your clit to between your folds, rubbing up and down to collect the wetness that’s been spilling from your cunt for the past hour. He smiles as he pushes them into you, curling them up and down as you moan. “Little gooner slut.”
You’re drooling, spit running from your mouth as your teeth continue to clench around the soft cotton. Your cunt continues to leak as you move your hips to force his fingers deeper into you. Tears well up in your eyes as you becoming increasingly desperate for him. “Yes,” you grunt. “‘M a gooner slut. Love fucking myself stupid to your scent.”
He can feel his cock twitch in his pants, and he lets out of growl as he rips his fingers away from you, causing you to whine and reach out for him. He pushes you back on the bed. “You’ll take what I give you,” he says as he unbuckles his pants. He reaches down and pulls out his cock which is already dripping with pre-cum. The second that he had heard the echoes of your moans through the empty halls of the apartment, he began to crave you. “Been edging yourself for long enough. You can wait a bit longer.”
He can’t even bring himself to take his pants or boots off. They remain on his body, pants only pushed down far enough so he can comfortably stroke himself. His thumb rubs over the tip, smearing the pre-cum around. “Fuck, lovely,” he moans before he climbs on top of you. He wastes no more time to rub his tip between your folds before pushing into you. He groans at the feeling of your gummy walls around him. “All wet and sticky for me,” he comments before he begins to thrust. “Hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. God, you looked so good rubbing your cunt on my clothes.”
Your pussy flutters around him as you reach up to wrap your arms around his shoulders. Your hips move up and down to meet his thrusts. “Kyle,” you cry out. “‘M sorry. Needed you. Missed you so much. I couldn’t stop myself.” You’re babbling, tongue practically falling out of your mouth as his hips snap into yours. You don’t think you’ve ever been fucked so hard in your life.
You only feel more aroused when he leans down to kiss you, shoving his tongue into yours mouth; it’s sloppy and needy. You’re both hungry and desperate, a mess of growls and moans as you hold onto each other. You’re the first to break, and you give him no warning.
“Cumming,” you whine, eyes crossing and rolling back. “Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.” Your legs begin to shake as your pussy squirts and creams all over his cock that continues to piston in and out of you.
“Fuck!” Kyle groans as he feels you clench around him. He looks down at where your body meets, and the sight of your juices covering him only makes him work his hips faster and harder. He continues to fuck you through your high, overstimulating you. He’s got an evil grin on his face as he watches you become a mess beneath him. “Fuck, you look so good,” he praises. “Feels so good too. Need to pull out.”
Your eyes shoot open. “No!” You shout. Suddenly, you’re wrapping your arms and legs around him, pulling him deeper into you, keeping him there. “Please! Cum inside of me. ‘M on the pill; I promise. Just please cum inside me!”
Kyle doesn’t think he could pull out in time if he tried. Both due to the force of which you’re holding him and how much you’re turning him on. Your words drive him to release. He spills inside of you with one final, hard thrust of his hips and a long groan. “Shit, baby!” He struggles to breathe as he keeps himself buried inside of you, pushing his cum even deeper, thighs shaking a bit as he struggles to find some stability in them.
Once he comes down from his high, he pulls out of you, and his cock twitches yet again as he watches his cum spill out from you. However, he quickly come to his senses. “Wait here,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to your cheek.
He leaves for a moment, and when he returns, he’s holding a glass of water and a warm wash rag. He takes a few moments to clean you up before helping you sit so that you can drink from the glass. He then removes the towel from underneath you. “Smart girl,” he chuckles, noticing how wet it had gotten. Then, he tosses it, along with the rag, into the laundry basket before crawling into bed with you.
He pulls you into his arms, cradling your head into his chest. “I missed you,” he whispers. “I think about you every night when I’m gone. I hope you know that.”
You look up at him, bleary eyed. “You do?” You ask, voice soft and timid.
He nods. “Of course I do,” he says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re my best friend.”
You think your heart shatters at his words. Was this going to be a one time thing? Would you two go back to being labeled, teetering on the edge of best friends and something more? “Is that all I am?” You finally ask, a heavy sinking feeling in your chest. Maybe the reason you and Kyle had never gone any further is because he didn’t want to. Surely, he would have made a move by now.
As you continue to have these thoughts, his voice brings you back to reality. “You’re that and so much more,” he tells you. “Every time I have to leave, I get tempted to stay more and more each time. You’re the only thing that keeps me coming back.” He shifts his body so that he can look into your eyes. “I love you. Not just as your best friend, but as something more.”
You’re quiet, lost for words even. All you can respond with is a kiss. This time, it’s soft and sweet, not like the desperate, lust filled kiss the two of you had shared earlier, reminiscent of the first time the two of you had locked lips. “I love you too,” you whisper.
“Good.” He kisses you again. “I’ll buy some extra hoodies to leave behind for you.”
“Oh, shut the fuck up,” you grumble, burying yourself back into his chest, a blushing mess.
You’d get over your embarrassment soon enough though. The man you’d loved since you were kids was finally yours.
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A/N: I made this way longer and way dirtier than I intended to, but gooner!reader x literally anyone from 141 makes my brain rot. Hope you enjoyed.
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317 notes · View notes
wystericwoes · 7 months
Text
Nanami Brain-rot where he had a crush on reader in high school but never said anything, and then they met together later in life post his dilf-up.
Fluff, Implied smut/teasing stuff but mostly just cute. Comfort, Nanami being fucking husband material. Not finished because writer's block.
@96jnie @Noodlejitsu
You were one of the trios friends, and Nanami had always admired you from afar.
A second year that radiated light and energy. Always seen with Geto, Gojo, or Shoko. Or all three.
You were loud, but not the type where he couldn’t stand it. He loved your voice, and loved your conversations.
You had bumped into him in the hallway one day, and despite his distant demeanor and resting bitch face you were so nice to him.
From that day on, he made an effort to see you more in the halls, or on the street. You two became what he thought was just acquaintances. After all, not many people had ever considered him a friend.
Until one day you saw an upperclassman giving him a hard time, picking on him. and you immediately butted in.
The Nanami was the type to usually stay quiet and wait until people were done, he didn’t like confrontation, and he especially didn’t like making a scene.
“Leave my friend alone prick!”
You slung an arm over his shoulder and threatened that persons safety if they ever bullied such a kind person like Nanami again.
And that, was the first time he realized he was screwed.
Everytime you came near him his palms got sweaty and his face ran red.
“Woah Nanami are you sick?”
You asked so cutely and naively. Pressing a cool hand to his heated forehead.
“N-no. I’m fine.” He turned his head away from you.
“Take care of yourself, I’d hate to not see you around for a while ‘cause you got a fever.”
Your touch was so gentle. He wanted to hold your hand there forever.
He had amassed a huge crush on you, and to him it was a major inconvenience. When he would be in class, when he was on missions, when he was at home alone, he’d wake up in hot sweats from a wet dream with you in it.
The hardest part was that he knew he couldn’t do anything about it, there’s no way you would accept his romances and even if you did- it wouldn’t last. It was just highschool, you would move on.
So he kept it to himself. He would rather have you as a friend than risk it and then have you as nothing at all.
Each day he looked forward to seeing you. The way you jumped around, always lit up a room, and made the people around you laugh. He both envied and wanted you.
The day you graduated he was devastated. You were so happy, and he didn’t have it in him to ruin that. You were gonna travel abroad, and follow your dreams.
“I’m happy for you, Y/n.”
He gave you a small smile.
“Don’t forget about me! Ok?”
You gave him a warm hug.
He nodded.
As if he could ever forget about you.
It had been years. Sometimes at night he still lays in bed and thinks about you.
He’s been single his whole life, with the only exception being getting drunk and losing his virginity at a college party he didn’t even want to be at.
Laughable.
He was always to busy with work, drinking, or drinking thinking about work. He didn’t have time for anyone else.
He let out a heavy sigh. He truly did believe he was destined to be alone.
Until Gojo burst in his office one morning.
“NANAMIIIIIII!”
He let out a long sigh.
“Yes, Gojo?”
“Guess who just transferred!”
“I really don’t care.”
Gojo moved to the side, and behind is freakishly tall frame out came you.
“Hey! Do you remember me, Nanami?”
He almost threw up. You were just as cute as you had always been, except your hair was different and your face was a little more grown in.
And your body.
“Y/n?”
“See! I told you he would remember!” Gojo teased
“Yeah yeah. You’re right this time.”
You shoved Gojo in the shoulder.
“Now go away! I wanna catch up with Nanami. You had your turn.”
Gojo finally was shoved away, laughing.
Your laughter died down as you slid over in front of nanamis desk.
“How have you been?”
Your breath hitched. You got a closer look at him and realized he was fucking hot.
“Woah. Nanami, you look-“
You had to cut yourself off before you ruined your reunion.
“Tired? I know.” He sighed
“No! I was gonna say handsome.”
Your abrasiveness was something he both missed, and forgot about. Heat rushed to his face- but he managed to keep it together.
“O-oh thank you.”
He pushed his glasses up.
“Anyway… I’ve been good! How about you?”
“Ive been alright. What brings you here?”
“Just wanted to get back to my roots y’know?”
You anxiously rubbed your head.
He could tell you were lying.
“How about we catch up with drinks tonight huh? The whole gangs getting together!”
He didn’t consider himself part of “the gang” which was composed of you, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko.
“It’s fine, you don’t have to. Gojo told me Geto wasn’t gonna be there though so I figured you might wanna come in and fill his place?”
You weren’t gonna tell him that was a lie.
A place filler he thought. He really didn’t want to go, but above all else, Nanami Kento was respectful, and if his friend wanted to hang out with him- he was going. (No bias whatsoever)
“Sure. What time?”
When he had arrived at the place, he was early. First embarrassment.
The second, was when you came waltzing in with Gojo. Arm in arm.
Ah. So this is what was happening.
He was mentally prepared already that you would’ve been with someone, but he should’ve known that you would’ve been with Gojo. He was attractive, charming, and nanami had seen firsthand his effect he had on those around him. he should’ve known it would’ve been a matter of time.
You lit up upon seeing Nanami already sitting in a booth, an expensive jacket and a black turtleneck.
You left Gojos arm and ran over to sit next to Nanami, your suddenness set him off guard. It was going to be incredibly difficult not getting in the way of Gojo when you were this fucking cute.
“Let’s get our first round!”
You announced.
It was just you three, Shoko had been “busy” (didn’t care) and Geto… well. When you asked Gojo, his reaction told you to not bring it up again.
You and Gojo laughed and laughed, reminiscing on old times, and newer ones.
Gojo told you all about his students, how hilarious they are, and all the drama in his life. You did the same.
Nanami was really just there. He felt totally out of place, and the drinks only helped a little in soothing his feeling of loneliness.
“So y/n, Why’d you really come back?”
Gojo asked suddenly. All of you were buzzed, well- nanami seemed fine. Even though he had the same amount of drinks as you two.
You suddenly froze at that. The whole mood shifted and the atmosphere changed.
“You shouldn’t ask personal questions, Gojo.”
Nanami butted in.
You placed a hand on his shoulder and sighed.
“No. You guys deserve to know the truth. But I’m gonna need another drink.”
Once it was ordered, they were both attentive, and waiting for you to speak.
“I started seeing someone, and- things didn’t end well. They cheated on me, the whole break-up was messy, and I realized there was nothing left for me anymore where I was. I got my.. my heart broken a-and…”
You had one too many. And the alcohol made filtering yourself impossible. Your eyes watered, and that all too familiar sensation of hot tears streamed down your puffy cheeks.
“I’m sorry… I thought I was past this….”
Nanami was looking at you with a sincere expression, eyes softened. But under the table, his fists were clenched and white knuckled.
“I’m sorry, y/n.”
He said in a hushed voice.
“You don’t have to apologize, it’s not like you did anything.”
But he did. Maybe if he had done things right then you wouldn’t have had your heart broken, would’ve stayed. Where he would’ve treated you better.
You leaned your head against his shoulder, and wrapped your arm through his.
“You deserve better though. And I wish I had made you stay, then that wouldn’t have happened.”
You looked up at him teary eyed and face flushed. Even when you had just gotten done crying and had been drinking he still thought you looked stunning.
As much as you and nanami were oblivious, Gojo wasn’t. He knew it was his time to leave, and faked an important phone call.
“Hey sorry guys it’s been great but uh I gotta go do something! See ya tomorrow!”
He had left before you two could even say anything.
“What a dick!”
You whined tightening your grip on nanamis arm.
Your emotional state had erased your filter. Nanami stifled a laugh at your sudden drunken abrasiveness.
“I’m sorry Nanami. Tonight probably sucks.”
You started to get teary eyed again.
“Call me Kento. And tonight doesn’t suck.”
He was looking at you adoringly.
“But it does. I had no idea it was just gonna be Satoru and then we kept talking and you didn’t talk and then I started crying!”
Thinking about crying made you start crying again.
“I swear I usually am not this much of a mess…”
“You’re fine, don’t worry.” He said with a small smile.
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure.”
You let out a couple more sniffles. Before you wiped your eyes clean and sat upright.
“Okay okay. I’m better now. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize.”
You smiled looking straight ahead. You missed him. You two enjoyed a few more drinks together and got comfortable with eachother. Enjoying yourselves and the company.
“Man nanami are y’ sure you’ve been drinking? You barely are acting any different.”
He chuckled at you.
“Man so much has changed since I been gone. You can outdrink me now- You must be with someone too I bet.”
“Not quite. You’re only half right.”
“So you haven’t been drinking!”
“No, I’m not with anyone.”
Your eyes widened a little, and you sat upright facing him.
“Really?? But ya’ so hot!”
You whined against him.
He almost choked. But then he remembered you were drunk, and didn’t mean it. Maybe even being sarcastic.
“I appreciate it. But agree to disagree.”
He took another sip of his drink.
“I’m bein’ serious!” You pouted.
He just hummed in agreement and looked away from your increasing eye contact.
“If I had never gotten with that- hic dick! I totally woulda been with you instead. You’re s’ nice.”
He nearly choked on his drink.
“You don’t mean that.”
He awkwardly shifted.
“I do! Why don’ you believe me!”
You started to get emotional again. He had now learned when to recognize when you were about to cry.
“I’m sorry, I do I do.” He patted his hand on the back of your shoulders and you sunk your weight against him.
“I think m’ ready to go home now…”
“Where do you live? I’ll order you a cab.”
“I don’ have a place yet. I left really quick and I been staying with Gojo.”
So that’s why you two came in together. He felt his heart sink. You two probably were together after all. But regardless, his duties as a gentleman came before jealousy.
“But I don’ wanna go to his place. He always is bringing girls over and he snores.”
“He brings people over while you’re staying there?”
“Yeah! And its so rude! Especially when he knows how lonely I am. Jus’ rubbin it in my face.”
“Oh. I thought that you two-“
You looked at him with a comedically perplexed face, until it finally hit you.
“What?! No! He’s like a brother t’ me!”
He both sighed in relief but also felt embarrassed.
“I’m sorry for assuming.”
“Nah. You’re good. The guy I want prolly’ doesn’t want me anyway.”
He tensed up.
“Let’s get back okay? Do you have anywhere else to stay? I can book you a hotel.”
“I don’ wanna be alone… can I stay wit’ you?”
His breath hitched.
“Of course.”
And with that, two drunk people that you wouldn’t know were both drunk by the way one carried himself, arm in arm, walked the Tokyo streets.
When you finally reached Nanamis place you were a bumbling and clumsy mess.
Tripping over yourself, trying to chase every stray cat you saw, crying because swans can be gay- the works.
He had you slumped under one of his arms, and with the other rummaged through his keys.
“It’s a miracle we made it here in one piece.”
He mumbled under his breath while inserting the key into the lock.
You were currently in the “laughing at everything” phase of drunk.
“Kentooo you’re so funny.”
You were mostly dead weight in his arms.
He moved the door open and helped you in, slinging your arm over his shoulder and guiding you to the front room.
You were laughing your ass off over nothing and he patiently stood with you, sitting you down on the nearest chair then removing his shoes.
Right after he closed the door, your entire mood shifted. You suddenly went silent.
He made his way over to you and began taking your shoes off.
“Sorry to manhandle you.”
He said while looking down.
“ s’ fine.”
You placed a hand on his shoulder as he set your shoes aside, and both of you stood up together.
He removed his jacket and you stared at him shamelessly.
“I’ll sleep on the couch, are you okay to walk upstairs to my room?”
“Yeah…”
“You should get some water first.”
He guided you over to the couch and he left you alone to go to the kitchen.
When he came back you had balled yourself up and were half asleep.
He nudged your shoulder
“Y/n?”
He whispered.
“Hm?”
You grunted.
“I’m going to take you upstairs? Is that okay?”
You slowly shook your head yes.
He set the cup of water aside, and carefully moved his arms underneath you, supporting your weight under him. carrying you gently up the stairs to his room.
“M’ not too heavy am I?”
He chuckled at you and shook his head no, reaching his bedroom.
He leaned down to set you on the bed, but you didn’t let your arms go.
“Y/n? You have to let go.”
His heart was palpitating. He absolutely did not want you to let go. But with a heavy sigh your arms slipped loosely around his neck, and he laid you upright against the bed frame.
“Do you want a change of clothes?”
“Yeah…”
He rummaged around looking for something you could use. He eventually settled on sweatpants he almost never wears and an old t-shirt.
He had them folded in his hands, and he brought them over to you, sitting them at your feet.
“Im gonna get your water and then go now.”
When he turned around he stopped when he heard you whine.
“Can you… help?” Your words were slurred as you pathetically pawed at his shirt he set down.
He looked down and saw you were referencing his clothes.
“Of course.”
The room was dark, and you were drunk so you wouldn’t remember. Any other circumstance and he would’ve said no.
He set the clothes aside and sat at your feet, signaling for you to move closer to him.
You scooted towards him, and raised your arms.
He gently lifted your shirt up and brought it over your head, never lowering his gaze.
He folded your shirt and moved it to the foot of the bed.
You sat there, shirtless. But he never glanced over where he shouldn’t have, grabbing the replacement shirt and slipping it over your head as you squirmed your way though the holes.
Next were your pants. He sat on his knees and respectfully removed them, being very careful where he put his hands. He opened up the sweatpants and slid them up your legs one at a time.
“Thank you f’ being so nice t’ me…”
“You shouldn’t thank me.”
“But I should!” You whined
He chuckled as he laid you down, and tucked you in.
“Can ya’ stay wit’ me?”
You had rolled over on your side, and were mumbling.
“You don’t want that, trust me darling.”
“Buh I do!!”
He sighed. Conflicted between his head and his heart. He eventually chose what he knew he wanted.
He removed his shirt then changed into long pajama pants, and slid under the covers with you. You immediately snuggled up against him, nuzzling into his neck lovingly.
He wished he could stay like this forever.
“Thank you Kento…”
You mumbled into him.
He rested a hand against the back of your head. Smiling as you two sat there in a beautiful silence.
The mood was interrupted by you suddenly groping his chest.
“Woah you’re s’ buff!”
You said amazed.
He was happy he was in the dark, otherwise you would’ve seen how red his face was.
“Where did all dis’ come from?!”
You had slid your hands down his pecs to his abs and were rubbing your fingers between the dips of his skin.
“I thought you were cute then buh look t’ you now!”
Completely and entirely unfiltered.
He shuddered against your touch as you shamelessly ran your hands across him. It wasn’t until your fingers reached his v-line that he stopped you with a firm but gentle grab to the wrist.
“Aw. Ya’ no fun”
You pouted.
“Maybe another night. For now, sleep.”
“Fineeeeuuuhhhhh!”
You dramatically flailed your arms and slammed them back down on the bed.
“G’night Kento…”
“Goodnight, Y/n.”
Your eyes fluttered open, sunlight peaking through the blinds tracing over your figure.
The first thing you noticed, was you felt like shit. The second- was that you didn’t recognize the bed you were in.
So you felt like shit, and you were in deep shit. Great combination.
Assess the situation-
A strangers bed, A strangers shirt, a bad hangover-
Oh no. Come on- you had just gotten back and you already made a regrettable decision?!
Stay calm. No one is benefitted by you panicking. Maybe the person was hot at least.
You were busy panicking when your thoughts were abruptly cutoff by the smell of… food. Coming from downstairs.
So above all else, you were gonna have to confront the person you slept with. Great.
You found your clothes, neatly folded and put away on a dresser, and went to change out of them. They were stiff, smelled, and had your phone in the pocket. You went to check the time- it was 9:00?! You had work today!
But directly underneath it you saw a text from Gojo.
Doucho Satoru
I’ll cover for you if you wanna ‘sleep in’ ;) saw you leaving with that hot guy.
You were both relieved at how good a wingman Gojo was and also terrified- he saw you leaving with someone while you were drunk and didn’t say anything?! What a ball of ass sweat.
You let out a heavy sigh. Sneaking out the window wasn’t an option. Your shoes were downstairs and you were on a second story- so, the walk of death you went. Keeping your composure, you didn’t have to show how ashamed you were.
You quietly made your way out of the bedroom, assessing everything around you. Everything was clean, and kept together well. At least you had decent taste when you were drunk.
As quietly as you could, you snuck down the steps. Peeking your head around the corner of the stairs to notice in the kitchen there was a hot, tall, and blonde man cooking. Wearing a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled halfway up. It was almost like you had just stepped into a dream.
You nearly drooled at the sight in front of you. Starting to regret last night less and less.
He turned around to face you.
“Oh, you’re awake.”
Your heart stopped beating when you realized it was Nanami.
Your jaw slacked as you couldn’t hide your visible reaction.
“Did you sleep well?”
He turned around and went back to cooking.
“Oh- um yeah.”
“You’re probably hungover, there’s some Tylenol on the counter and water in the fridge.”
“O-oh thanks!”
You shuffled awkwardly and as politely as you could rummage through the fridge and pull out a bottled water. The cool plastic felt amazing against you as you pressed it up to your head.
“So… I’m sorry for making you late to work.”
“That’s fine. I used one of my sick days.”
“Oh shit I’m sorry!”
You were overcome with guilt.
“Don’t be, I never use my paid time off.”
He had is broad back facing away from you, and you watched in a trance as he expertly worked his way around the kitchen.
“What about you, how do you feel? You drank too last night, right?”
You tried to change the topic.
“I’m good at ignoring my hangovers.”
“Man I wish I could relate.”
You awkwardly laughed and sat down at the table with your water, not sure of what else to do.
“Do you remember anything from last night?”
He abruptly said.
“Oh- uhm… not really.”
You felt blood rush to your face. Embarrassment leeching onto you.
“I hope I wasn’t too embarrassing…”
“Not at all. You were quite pleasant to be with, actually.”
You wanted to die. To roll over, crawl in a dark hole, and die.
“I doubt it. I’m not… myself when I’m drunk.”
“I thought it was cute.”
You were glad he wasn’t looking at you because you put your hands over your face and let out a quiet groan. Did he really just call you cute? Were you two talking about the same thing?
“You probably didn’t want to be stuck with me though, and Im not gonna be offended if you say you regret it…”
He turned to face you, an eyebrow raised and a very clearly confused face.
“I didn’t mind taking care of you.”
“Okay well thank you… I’m just scared that I wasn’t as good as I could’ve been last night.”
“Well no one’s at there best when they’re drunk.”
Ouch. You weren’t aware you two were talking about different things.
“Was I at least still decent?”
“Well, define decent.”
Oh god. You totally made a fool of yourself last night with him didn’t you? You can’t even do one night stands right.
“Im talking about… y’know… us…”
He still didn’t get it.
“…Hooking up.”
His face relaxed.
“Oh.”
Your heart sank.
“Nothing happened.”
He turned back around.
You were sitting there dumb struck.
“But I was in your bed!”
“You wanted to sleep over here.”
He answered swiftly.
“Okay well… why was I in your shirt?”
“Pajamas.”
“Hmm… okay.”
You started to put the pieces together. Feeling some relief wash over you that you didn’t bang your childhood best friend. But also, a little disappointed.
“We did cuddle though, if that’s alright?”
He was so respectful If you weren’t sitting down your knees would’ve buckled.
“Yeah for sure, you don’t have to worry about that.”
You were flustered. But not gonna admit it. You drank your water trying to avoid awkward silence.
You took a few deep breaths and just when you thought you had composed yourself, he came over holding a plate of food, something you barely even recognized. You were starving though, and it was fucking delicious because of course it was.
You had to bite back a moan from the flavors as angels danced in your mouth.
You just spoke without thinking.
"You'd be an amazing husband..."
He 'eh hemmed' and muttered a small flustered thank you.
“You always cook like this?” You mumbled with a half mouth full of food.
“Helps me clear my head.”
“You should clear your head more often!”
He smiled into his fork at that, Letting out a small chuckle.
He wished it could stay like this forever.
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yelenabelovasbxtch · 8 months
Text
Crush On An Archer PT.1
a/n: Hey! Omg long time no see! I kinda maybe lost interest in writing for a bit there but tbh I think I'm back. No promises because I don't want to promise and then break your hearts but also I realllyyyy enjoyed writing this and I hope you all enjoy reading it! Will def be making a part two in coming days so stay tuned. LMK if you want to be added to the taglist, I am going to put some tags of past taglists below just in case they are interested in reading :) ALSO! Special shout out to @scmg11 because their writing is honestly what made me wanna get back into it. So,,I hope you enjoy!
Kate X Fem!Reader
Concept: Reader has a crush on Kate (school/Uni setting) and she doesn't know how to tell her.
Warning: Cussing, mentions of smut, IM TRYING TO WRITE SLOW BURN BUT BEAR WITH ME ITS NEW!
Word Count: 2.7k
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You’re a month into your summer vacation and things couldn’t be more…boring. You love and appreciate your parents dearly for putting out the money so that you could attend a prestigious school in New York with a kick ass archery team but does it ever suck to be this far from all your friends for four months. To make the situation work, your dad had to transfer jobs to another state that pulls in a little more money annually with slightly more affordable housing but that means you aren’t even near the people you grew up around. Rural Mississippi is a fairly big step from living in Boston. Boston at least had people, out here it’s like you’re lucky if you get to meet a neighbour because the land has us all so far apart. In all honesty, although it’s boring, you really have one specific reason for being so bummed out. Towards the end of your last semester, you got started getting closer with one of the girls a year younger on your team, Kate. Typically the older girls competed and practised together and the younger girls did the same. Although you two were only a year apart it’s just how things worked out, so you didn’t cross paths very often. However, one day you were walking home from class, stopped to get coffee and basically bumped into her. The meeting was really brief but it was enough to make you catch feelings almost instantly. 
Your interest in her grew as you followed her on Instagram and she followed back. Obviously you took a peak at her page and scrolled to the bottom laughing at the really cringey posts from 2015 she had still up. All you wanted to do was talk to her again but you didn’t know how, although she was a year younger than you she intimidated you so much. Her deep blue eyes were honestly enough to make you stutter whenever you had the chance to talk to her. A month had gone by already and you could not wait to get back to school so you could see her again. Luckily, coach has yearly “team-building” days before the season starts and they’re about half way through the summer so hopefully you can talk to her before then and maybe convince her to hang out when you come back to school. 
Over the next week or so you liked a few story posts that she’d upload every now and again but the day finally came where you felt like you could swipe up and respond to it…y’know…maybe spark a little conversation. 
“Damn Bishop, is this a new bow?” In response to a story post of her showing off some of her off season training. 
“Haha yeah it is, flips out and everything…it's really freakin’ cool.” She replied almost instantly and that made a giant warm smile come across your face. 
Shit– what do you say back? Your main goal was honestly to keep the convo going so you could subtly mention down the line hanging out with her. 
“Yeah that’s sick, wow I’d kill to try something like that out.”
“Well next time I see you, please by all means give it a shot” She replies back.
“Might just have to take you up on that. How’s your summer going anyways?”
“It’s alright, kind of boring though. All my friends from school move back home and I am working for my mom’s company over the summer so it all is just kind of dull. I miss going out and having fun. Wbu?”
“Yeah, I hear that. I am SO bored here. I would kill to fast forward to the fall, I miss being at school honestly. There’s only so much I can do by myself here during the summer.”
“Ugh right! I want it to be school again too but don’t get me wrong, I love the summer, the weather is great here recently and the nightlife is amazing too. I just have nobody to go with, you know.”
“Yeah I get it. Trust me, if I could be there to go out with you I would, there is definitely no nightlife here haha.”
Shit. That wasn’t too forward was it? She is taking a while to respond to you. She hasn’t even opened the message yet. 
*4 minutes later*
“Well, you’re going to be around for that team-building thing coach has us doing in a couple of weeks right?”
“Yeah, I should be.”
“Well, we can go out then if you want? Me and a few friends had plans but they’re all on the team and I’m sure they’d love to have you there too.”
“Yeah, that sounds great I’d love to!”
The conversation pretty much ended there and your contact with her was fairly limited, just a small comment here or there until you finally got to fly back to school for summer training. You settle back into the apartment you left a couple months ago, everything is still a mess where you left it but the kitchen and living room are even filthier since you are not around to clean up much after your roommates. You decided to wait until your team practice to talk to Kate about hanging out again. You didn’t want to come on too strong but also a small part of you feels like she forgot what she said months ago and you won’t end up seeing her, not outside of team stuff at least. 
You grabbed your gear and headed to the field where practice was being held. You saw some of your friends from last year and decided to catch up with them before coach pulled you all in to start practice. You were trying your best not to make it obvious but your eyes were tracking all around you looking for Kate but she was nowhere to be seen. 
*Whistle* “Okay team! Let’s bring it in. First, I just want to say thank you to everyone for making the effort to come back to campus for this, meeting I–”
“SORRY SORRY SORRY!” You hear the coach interrupted as footsteps are fast approaching the circle of archers. 
“Hi Kate.” Says coach.
“I am SO sorry. My driver was running late and then there was traffic because of a giant accident, I think there was some battle in the streets again, I don’t know, either way, my bad coach, won’t happen again…I promise.” She says with the most adorable grin that is absolutely saying she will be late again. 
“It’s alright Kate, it happens, I was just telling the team how thankful I am that everyone could make the trip back to campus for this.” Coach went on to talk about the drills you were doing for the day and man was it hard to not be in awe watching her. You tried your best not to stare all day because the last thing you wanted to do was make it obvious but fuck it felt impossible. The day came to an end and you packed up your gear, Kate was talking with the other seniors on the team as they were gathering their things and started to head out. You could feel your window closing to talk to her but interrupting her conversation with her friends and “inviting” yourself out with them just felt too weird and uncomfortable. If it wasn’t meant to be then it wasn’t meant to be but you would kill to be able to just spend an hour with her. 
You watched as she started to walk away towards the parking lot with her friends when all of a sudden she motioned for them to hold on a minute and she turned around and jogged over to you. 
“Hey y/n! Sorry we didn’t get to catch up much during practice, I saw your shooting though it’s looking good.” 
Yeah…your face is bright red. Control your shit. 
“Anyways, me and a couple friends are going out later tonight to a party that one of their friends is hosting. It’s like a Hawaiian beach summer nights themed type of party so if you have something like that to wear, that would be great.”
“Yeah, I might have something, I’ll take a look when I get home.” 
“Cool! I’ll text you the address once I get it off my friend and I’ll see you there?”
“Yeah, sounds good!” 
“Here, why don’t you put your number into my phone, I don’t like using DM’s that much.”
You take Kate’s phone out of her hand and fill out a contact for yourself, praying that she can’t hear your heart beating out of your chest. 
“Cool, thanks, I’ll send you a text in a bit.” She says with a smile and then runs off to re-join her friends. 
It seems silly sitting by your phone and literally watching the minutes tick by waiting for her to text you but that’s all  you could do. The anticipation felt like it was killing you. 
Your phone finally buzzed with a mystery number attached, “Hey y/n! It’s Kate. So…slight change of plans.”
Fuck. Is she bailing? Your eyes were glued on the three dots as she typed and you watched as they disappeared and reappeared. 
“Turns out the party is actually around the corner from my place so if you wanted to just come here first, we could pre-game and shit and then walk over together? My friends said they were going out to get their hair done so they’ll be running late.”
“Hey Kate, yeah no problem that works for me just send me your address and lmk what time you want me there.”
Kate dropped a pin of her location to you with the text attached telling you to come over at 7pm. 
7pm rolled around and you were already there outside but you kind of felt like you should wait another minute or two so you weren’t RIGHT on time. Or is it weird to be a minute late? But wouldn’t being on time be weirder? Whatever, you decided to just wait a minute and then knock on her door. 
Knocking on her door was the most nerve wracking thing you ever did, you were genuinely shitting bricks. 
“HEY! Come in come in!” Kate eagerly yells at you as she swings the door open. She’s wearing shorts with a bright purple bikini top and a button down Hawaiian shirt over top that doesn’t have a single button done up. Are you starring? Yes. Probably? Absolutely you are. 
“Make yourself at home, feel free to grab a drink from the fridge, my roommates are out of town and left all their alcohol so help yourself.” She said with a laugh. 
You heard that right? Her roommates are out of town. Just the two of you…you never know. 
You grabbed a drink from the fridge and took a seat on the couch next to her and yeah…the drink started going down faster than usual because of all the nerves in your stomach. The two of you made small talk for awhile but the conversation started flowing a little more naturally about 2 drinks in. Were you still kind of awkward as hell? Yeah…a little. But at least you warmed up to her a bit and weren’t acting so weird. About an hour later, her friends showed up and grabbed you guys to head over to the party. Honestly, things were going so well with just the two of you that you didn’t even want to go to this party but if it meant you got to spend more time with her then there you were. You got to the party and you honestly knew practically nobody. You weren’t exactly a social butterfly but Kate clearly was. She was talking to EVERYBODY. The boys at the party especially loved her. There was lots of laughing and flirting going on, you could feel the jealousy building but acting out was definitely not an option. You ended up socialising with a few of the other people at the party but for most of the night you stuck by Kate’s side, the two of you got pretty drunk together, pouring shots for one another and dancing in the pit of people to extremely loud music. There was a point where it felt like it was just you and her and nobody else was there while the music was blasting into your ears and the two of you were jumping together to the beat and singing out the lyrics to whatever song was on at the time. Kate got really close to you until some guy would come and pull her away in an attempt to make a move on her. Although, it never actually happened. Kate always ended up finding her way back to you. At one point she grabbed your hand and pulled you into the middle of the crowd as the two of you sang (screamed) the lyrics to “love story” into each other's faces. The party, as all do, started to simmer down. You guys actually ended up being some of the last people at the party, you stuck around to the point where the music was gone and most people were just sitting around chatting halfway sober. 
“Hey, I think I’m going to go home, I am super tired right now.” Kate says to you. 
“Okay, I’ll walk with you, I left my bag at your place anyways so I have to grab it.” 
“Right, sounds good.” 
Although the two of you had been singing and dancing for hours, she looked just as perfect as when you left and you were trying your hardest not to stare at her while the two of you were walking side-by-side. 
The walk back to her place was pretty quick, when the two of you got inside you went to grab your bag and get your things together. You were desperately trying to figure out what to say to her while you were organising your stuff. You didn’t want to come on too strong but you also want to make sure that she knows you had a good time…I guess just tell her exactly that?
“I had a really good time tonight, thanks again for inviting me.” You say as you’re leaning against the wall in her hallway. 
“Of course, anytime. And I did too. We should really hang out more when we come back to school.” She replies. 
Kate walks towards you and stops about a foot away leaning up against the doorframe to her bedroom. The hallway is super narrow and all you can think about is pinning her against the wall while you kiss down her neck and pull her tight by her waist. 
“Yeah I think so too. I guess I should probably head out.” You say as she looks at you with the softest eyes that you swore said “please stay”. You lingered for a second longer as the two of you were looking at each other, tired, kind of tipsy and on the verge of ripping each other's clothing off. All you wanted was for her to actually ask you to stay a little longer but before she had the chance you were already walking towards the door. 
“Have a good night y/n.” She says. “Text me when you get home safe.”
“I will. Sleep well Kate.” You reply as you turn to look at her with a smile and step out the front door. 
That goodbye felt different. It felt like there were still feelings in the air and lots that wanted to be said that wasn't. It felt like the perfect opportunity with nobody around after an amazing night together has passed but you regret none of it. Although you weren’t able to get a confirmation on whether or not Kate even likes women like you do, you knew there was definitely a type of tension between the two of you that she definitely noticed.
-- END OF PT 1 --
Taglist: @yelenaslyubov @youreatotalposer @jeyramarie @flosbelova @bridgecitybrad @justthis-stuff @chloe7076 @ailenepuff @ravenclawbitch426 @mellowladyangel @amcg0605-blog @kassies-take @yelenaswife1996 @wandanatchick @lilroachsworld @inluvwithfictionalwomen @x666hours @natashaswife4125 @onetruwhore @karmasgxrl @hopelesslyfallenninlove @setsuna1415 @swiftdazer @imobsessedwithmilfss @madamevirgo @louisprettybab @splatalia-jumpanova @jediluka @t00manyfand0ms
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stomach-bugg09 · 1 year
Note
omg i absolutely love the way you write about the sully family. if it were possible and if it’s your cup of tea, i’d like to request your take on what the sullys would be like in modern day, and if you could incorporate fali and y/n’s relationship into it that would be cool.
a/n: thank you so much for the request !! this was a nice and fun one, very simple, very cute. i also warn you because i may have made this extremely american / east coast-ern based on the way i described their high school experiences , but i pray that it isn't too unenjoyable if you cannot quite relate to the east coast american high school life. hopefully you all enjoy. feedback + reblogs are always appreciated !!
tags: @pinkhotdogsfr @wxnderingthoughts @bonnibuckets @hjkshshjkhklhkl @liyahsocorro
sully family modern day headcanons ( feat. fali )
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y/n
okay so obviously our babes is literally the best older sister, no matter what universe we’re in
she’s def the type to have gotten her license as soon as she possibly could, and she most definitely saved up for car since she was little—after getting a job and money, she honestly has the best car like it's so cute and personalized for herself
y/n is the uber for the siblings—when jake and neytiri are too busy, she is the one to drive everyone around
lo’ak and spider are literally ALWAYS needing rides somewhere
as payment, lo’ak and spider have to pay for her dunkin' ( except it doesn't really matter because she always buys them donuts either way )
on car rides, as long as her parents aren't in the car, she blasts music and lets the kids fight over aux
she’s the oldest, so i assume probably a senior in high school—she is actually so smart like that gpa is popping off, and she most definitely is like vice president of the student government or something
she runs winter track because she always gets so depressed and unproductive during that time of the year, so she tries to keep herself somewhat alive
in the spring, she manages the lacrosse team ( the same team that both fali + neteyam play in bc she’s #1 girlfriend and #1 sister )
she goes to literally every sports event or school event that her siblings are in—she doesn't miss one of lo’ak’s or neteyam’s games, kiri’s orchestra concerts, or tuk’s performances. she also drags fali with her to every single of these events ( not that he minds at all )
yes she’s very smart, but she has terrible geography skills or navigational knowledge—she’s managed to get lost in the very town she grew up in
she wears the same pair of converse every single day and refuses to throw them away even though they have absolutely no support and are about to rip and expose her entire foot.
she never gets sick and she literally hates it because she always wants an excuse to stay home from school ( she is far too responsible to skip class—the one time she did in freshman year, jake found out because she was literally so awkward and nervous when she got home )
whenever she has a lunch shift with one of her siblings—which always happens at least once because she has three of her four siblings in high school with her—she always doordashes something for them ( she knows exactly where to drop it off so she doesn't get in trouble )
carries group projects
neteyam
a sophomore probably based on his age
him and kiri are in a weird amount of classes together, but they don't complain ( they always cheat off each other )
he definitely is a chick magnet just because he’s attractive and nice, and an attractive and nice guy in sophomore year is truly a treasure
the type of guy to get everything ready the night before school to sleep in more
claimed the passenger seat of y/n’s car and is always the quickest to take over aux
really good music taste
he always complains about not having money, but he’s too busy to get a job during the school year due to his full student-athlete schedule ( basketball + lacrosse )
jake loves watching his son’s games
was on jv for both teams the year before, but he made varsity lacrosse this year and the sully family went out for a celebratory dinner
terrible at english, but really good at social studies because he’s actually interested enough to pay attention
chemistry makes him want to die.
absolutely adores going on car rides with his sister because they just scream music and rant — it's their therapy session
probably is dragged to parties by his friends but just ends up being the designated driver
absolutely done with lo’ak’s bs like oml can this freshie leave him tf alone ?? ( no. )
loves days he has lunch with y/n bc they always get some chipotle or something
kiri
hello guys she is amazing in hs like she has a small group of super close friends
stoner.
crystal girl fr with those balanced chakras
took art freshman year but hated it so now just does yearbook with her friends and it's super chill
has a handshake with y/n when they pass each other in the hallway
she and neteyam have an agreement where he cheats off of her for english and math, but she cheats off of him in social studies
they struggle through chemistry together
she plays cello because she randomly started in fourth grade and just never stopped because she found it nice to have something to focus on during her time off
overloads herself with honors and ap classes and her study habits make her regret it every year ( and yet, her gpa eats every single year )
wants to go to berkeley
helped y/n decorate the inside of her car when she first got it
def the type to wear band tshirts and when guys would ask her to “name five of their songs” she would pretend to be stupid because she thought it was funny ( even though she has a very big habit of hyper fixating on different bands + probably knows more about those bands than they did )
proud to say she never joined the stranger things hype ( it's like her biggest accomplishment )
tiktok addict
tried to watch marvel with lo’ak but she didn’t understand anything and ended up falling asleep every single time ( also complained about how annoying tony stark was )
lo’ak
this man is a complete menace
freshman spaz asf
literally always late to getting ready in the morning and y/n screams at him
just learned how to put on deodorant and is now in the middle of leaving behind axe body spray
tried out for soccer because his friends were and was absolutely flabbergasted when he made jv
played basketball with neteyam over the winter and they were absolute pains the entire season ( but they actually played well together, so you win some, you lose some )
always forgets his passwords to things even though he only ever uses the same rotation of five
banned from going to the bathroom during class because of how many times he has skipped class
obsessed with marvel to the point that, just before he entered high school, y/n had to tell him, “please you need to stop. you are giving geek.”
he always trusts his big sister’s judgement, but he still always goes to opening night of every marvel movie with his friends
don't even get me started on how he bagged tsireya
fali def set them up because he knew his close family friend would look so cute with his girlfriend’s younger brother ( he was correct. )
everyone is still floored at how tsireya remains attracted to him, despite his dumb jokes and the fact that he is completely head over heels for her
he always claims he was the rizz master, but… let’s be real… tsireya is the one who completely rizzed him up
like damn girl! that’s extremely impressive!
despite his annoying-ness, as some may put it, he is very respectful—thanks mama sully for drilling the idea into his head from birth that he must always treat every woman with respect
and papa jake who was just like, “yeah!” #feminist
lo’ak probably had an instagram that he only ever uses to post videos of him skating or something, although he occasionally posts videos of tsireya shredding it while surfing ( and he always reposts her stuff—no exceptions! )
tuk
this silly little girl
oh my goodness i love her
an absolute slay in the second grade classroom, like this girl has all the friends
and her bead crafts?? impeccable. out of this world. absolutely amazing.
totally has been sent to the principal for cussing out some guy picking on her or her friends ( thank the sully siblings for that influence )
jake definitely allows her to watch inappropriate movies with him when neytiri goes to bed early
neytiri only realized this when tuk quoted talladega nights one morning after watching an argument between her brothers ( “you've gotta cross the anger bridge and come back to the friendship shore.” )
jake was wheezing for breath
goes all out when sitting in her booster seat in y/n’s car—when her big sister blasts those lyrics, this girl whips screams out the rolled down window with her sofia the first sunglasses on
she is so cute i cannot
she’s never known a life without siblings—not once have jake and neytiri hired a babysitter
absolutely plays all sorts of kiddie sports because she wants to be just like her big brothers
complete soccer star, total baller, and a menace on the lacrosse field ( tbt to when she cross-checked someone a bit too hard )
definitely claimed the color pink and embraces it—she will argue all day with those boys who think it's a “weak girl color”
she once said, and i quote, “this weak girl color can break your arm, jimmy.” meanwhile, she swung a pink baseball bat in her hands at recess
that one got her in trouble for sure
neytiri was proud though
baby of the fam is literally going to grow to be the baddest boss
jake
he is such a military dad—i mean clearly, but especially so in this au because it's socially acceptable
he’s also so funny
has truly grown into the role of a sports dad, always smacking his lips as he rants about how they could improve their game during the car ride home after a game
neteyam and lo’ak want to kill themselves everytime
tuk takes its very seriously
he loves his girls so much
totally knows about kiri and what she does in her pastime ifykwim
he’s chill—been there, done that, just stay safe or else
keeps secrets for the kids from neytiri ( harmless secrets )
always ranting about music and stuff when music that was popular when he was a kid ( ex. beastie boys, any form of 90s hip hop or rap ) when he hears someone listening to it
was gifted the role of being the parent that takes the kids to the er if anything ever happens—based on the influx of sports in their family, stuff has happened, and he’s always there to take them to get stitches or whatever is needed
such a barbecue dad
he has tiktok, but it's full of an fyp that has food stuff and carpenter stuff
so many unfinished house projects
someone needs to save neytiri
speaking of…
neytiri
i love her so much
she’s so involved with her kids’ lives ( not to an unhealthy point, she gives them space )
is thoroughly invested in her children’s events and extracurriculars
major protective sports mom energy
definitely helps run concessions and sell tickets whenever they need extra help
so much road rage. like so so much.
hates when she isn’t driving—she needs the control
will not let y/n drive her anywhere
podcasts and audiobooks are her lifeline
tea drinker for sure
always attempts to test those keto diets but gives up after like three hours
i see her as a high school math teacher
the students respect her
they fear her
she totally makes her favorite students clear and they like adore her
loyal to her keurig
cherishes her mug from mother’s day a few years ago that reads number 1 mom
has pictures of her kids on her desk
always threatens her children that if they continue to misbehave, she’s going to replace their pictures at home with the pictures of her favorite students
sometimes they can't tell if she’s joking or not
best dressed mom ever
fali
oh my goodness this man
i think i fell for my own oc help
anyway
friend of the world
everyone knows him
type of person to have good grades based on his dazzling charisma alone
super athletic
student-athletes are where it's at
always drives to school with y/n, and they take turns driving
no matter who is driving, the car is always full of him, y/n, kiri, neteyam, lo’ak, and spider ( sullys’ next door neighbor )
on the rare occasion in which all six of them don't have stuff to do after school, they all go drive to shake shack and get milkshakes and cheesy fries ( for my lactose intolerant readers, fali always has emergency lactaid in his car for you )
the employees at chipotle know his exact order because of the amount of times he has been
he’s a burrito addict ( which is gross, because of all burritos… chipotle ?? )
fali and y/n’s favorite movie to watch together tangled, like they can recite every line together ( y/n plays flynn rider + fali plays rapunzel—they both play mother gothel, so i suggest staying far away during mother knows best )
couple goals—they were literally voted in the superlatives as the “mom and dad” of their senior class
nobody could disagree
when their team won states, y/n gave fali the biggest, cutest, most earth shattering smooch
everyone awed and took pictures
except for neteyam who just stood and watched, pretending to be annoyed that his big sister went to fali before going to him
he wasn’t that shocked though
anyway, they’re just the cutest ever
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babybluebex · 11 months
Text
italy calling: part one | joseph quinn x fem!reader
summary: part one of three! after much convincing on your friend's part, you end up in italy and, on your first night, you meet a handsome stranger. pairing: joseph quinn x fem!reader (rpf - don't like, don't read) tags: drinking, probably bad financial decisions word count: 3.1k author's note: again, big thanks to @icallhimjoey and @wordscomehither for your help on this fic!! let me know if you'd like to be added to the taglist for this fic!
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You suppose, the whole thing wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t for the no good, terrible job you had. 
Overall, you liked your job. Well, that was an exaggeration. You liked your job well enough that you showed up every day and did your work, entering data into spreadsheets for an organization that you honestly weren’t entirely sure of what it was. There were quotas that you had to record, quantities and whatnot that you supposed people were chastised for for not meeting. But past that, you didn’t really know. The important thing was that it was mind-numbing work, just punching away at your computer day after day, getting lunch breaks and fifteens and really whatever else you needed. Decent sick leave hours, and a bit of a process to request time off, but you didn’t mind your job, no matter how tedious it could be. Your cubicle was small and you hated the professional “office attire” that you had to wear, but you made do, coming home each evening to a TV dinner and reruns of Murder, She Wrote. 
Your friend, however, was convinced that you were miserable and needed something more. “Babes,” Lily said one night over margs and tacos. She had sort of dragged you out of the comfort of your flat and forced you to do a “girl’s night”, and you poked at your margarita with your straw. “You need a vacay. Like, desperately.” 
“No, I don’t,” you told her. “Where would I go? What would I do?” 
“Go to Italy or something!” Lily said. “Just for a week, just long enough to destress from work! Your shoulders are all tense, you look sad.” 
“Yeah,” you scoffed. “Go to some expensive resort for a week and blow my savings for what? To ‘destress’, only for me to come back home to work and get all stressed out again? No thanks, Lil, I’ll stick with London.” 
“I mean…” Lily started. “My family has a house in Livorno. I’m sure my parents would let you stay for way less than if you went to some resort.” 
“Okay, I’d still have to get a plane ticket and pack and everything,” you said. “And ask for time off, which isn’t guaranteed. It’s just— Lil, I love you and I appreciate you thinking about me, but it’s just not doable.” 
“What if I went with you?” Lily asked. “Then, you’d get the house for free, because I’d be there with you! I won’t, like, harsh your mellow or anything either, I can chill at the house while you explore and everything. C’mon, some sunshine will do you good.” 
You frowned. You loved Lily, you had known her since your school days, but she had a sort of intense personality that could get old quickly, especially if you had to spend more than about three days together. She was definitely all beautiful and bubbly, could make friends with anyone no matter where she was or who she was with, and you just didn’t consider yourself her social equal. You definitely couldn’t see yourself traveling to Italy with her, but you also knew that she would keep on the topic like a dog on a bone. “I mean…” you started. “I guess it would be nice to get away from London for the week. And I do like Italian food.” 
“Yes!” Lily smiled. “Go to Italy!” 
You sighed. “Alright,” you said. “Give me a few days to check if I can get time off and see what my money situation is, and I’ll get back to you.” 
“Oh!” Lily squealed, and she grabbed your arm. “I’m so excited for you! You’re going to Italy!” 
“Maybe,” you said quickly. “I might be.” 
“What if you meet a guy?” Lily gasped. “Some tall, dark Italian guy?” 
“Now you’re just talking shit,” you laughed. “I’m not gonna meet some guy in Italy, that’s added stress that I don’t need. That’s ridiculous.” 
“Maybe not a relationship,” Lily said. “Maybe just a little… Tryst. A fling. Just for the week.” 
Just for the week. A fling. Oh, Lily, you optimistic creature, you. You were lucky to pull a guy in London, there was no hope for you in Italy. “Right, right,” you mumbled. “When pigs fly.” 
“Don’t get so down on yourself,” Lily said. “You could! You could meet the most wonderful guy and keep up with him after the vacation!” 
“Ew, long distance?” you said, wrinkling your nose. “I might go to Italy, but you can forget about a man.” 
You didn’t forget about that, though. You thought about the idea of it for the next week, as you worked and relaxed. You sorted through your finances and found that, if you stayed at a midline hotel, you could stay in Livorno pretty comfortably for roughly a week. You appreciated Lily’s offer of staying at her family’s house, but you wanted time to yourself, and you couldn’t see Lily giving that. Staying at a hotel would wipe out your savings, though, so you hoped that you didn’t have any sort of emergency before or after the vacation. You sent in your time off request, and you were elated when it came back the next day as approved. 
It seemed as if you were going to Italy. 
Finally, after waiting for what felt like years, the time came. You packed the day before, putting in swimsuits and jackets and everything that you could imagine— you had looked at the weather forecast and it said that it would be hot, but you knew that the nights could go cold, so you packed at all ends of the spectrum. Your flight took off at ten in the morning, giving you very little time in the morning to get ready, and you shot Lily a text when you left your flat. Italy, here I come! 
You felt like you were holding your breath the entire time you passed through security and boarding the flight. The flight was pretty decent, all things considered, and your heart caught in your throat when you finally saw the bright blue Italian water as you made your descent. You held your breath again as you made your way through customs, and in the taxi, and you finally, finally sighed when you made your way into the hotel room. It was small, just a king-size bed with a serviceable bathroom (with a tub, what a win), but the real showstopper was the balcony. It was tiny, hardly big enough for you to stand out on, but it overlooked the city, giving a beautiful view of Livorno and all she had to offer. You flopped down onto the bed, the balcony doors wide open, and you sighed again. Finally. A vacation. 
As per the vacation rules that you yourself had set, you took a nap, then got ready to go out. You didn’t usually fancy yourself a “going-out” type of girlie, but Italian nightclubs always looked so fun in movies and on TV. You had to experience it, before your better sense told you not to. In fact, your lesser sense told you that, even exhausted from the flight, going out would be good for you. You put on your favorite outfit, still smelling like your flat in London, and you hoped that it was chic enough for Livorno before you skipped out of the hotel room, making sure you had your key with you. 
The sun was just starting to set as you found a nightclub, close to your hotel but far enough to be unfamiliar. Once in, you adjusted to the low lights and pulsing music, and you wondered for a second if this was a bad idea. Not just the club, but the trip as a whole. You had considered your Italian to be pretty good, enough to survive in the country for a week, but the chattering around you was overwhelming. You couldn’t make out a single word, and you ground your back teeth as you steadied yourself on a barstool. Just order a drink, you told yourself. And fucking relax. 
Luckily, you didn’t have to take your chances on ordering something and wondering what the Italian name for it was. Before you could even grab the bartender’s attention, he set a glass down in front of you, a martini glass, filled with a clear drink with an olive. The bartender said something to you, something you could scarcely make out as “Something something, gentleman at the end of the bar, something something”, then turned back to his work. 
You expected to turn and see the type of guy Lily had mentioned, tanned and Italian and overall gorgeous, and, yes, the guy you locked eyes was gorgeous, but he was not tanned and Italian. He looked a little pale under the blue and purple lights, scruffy curls at the nape of his neck, a round nose, a crooked smile on his pink lips. He wore a buttoned shirt, the top two buttons undone, two thin chains around his freckled (and sunburnt?) neck, baggy jeans and white sneakers— an odd outfit, to be sure, but his handsome face and enigmatic energy made you smile at him and pull your head towards yourself, inviting him over. 
The first thing he said was “Hi there”. Thank God. English. And British, maybe? Something like that. You focused on the English. 
“Hi,” you said. “Thanks for the drink.” 
“Of course,” the guy said with a nod. “I hope you like martinis.” 
“Can I be honest?” you cringed, and you cast a glance at the drink before adding, “They’re not my favorite.” 
“Aw, shit,” he said with an abashed smile, shaking his head. “Well, what is your favorite? I’ll buy that for you.” 
“Oh, no, you don’t have to,” you said quickly. “I, umm, thanks for the offer, though.” 
The guy looked downtrodden, seeing your rejection, and he started to say, “Alright, then, umm, have a good night—“ but you stopped him with a hand on his arm. 
“No, no, that’s not—“ you started. “That’s just me saying that you don’t have to buy me a drink. Don’t go.” You don’t know why you said that to him, especially sounding so desperate, but he seemed into it, the cheeky smile returning to his face. 
“I won’t,” he said. “I’ll stay right here.” 
“What’s your name?” you asked, sliding the martini towards him, and he took it by the stem of the glass, looking at it contemplatively for a moment, as if considering what name to give you. 
“Joe.” 
“Joe?” you repeated. “Is that your final answer?” 
“Yes,” he said, smiling. “My name is Joe.” 
“I feel like you’re giving me a fake name,” you told him teasingly, tipping your head towards him. 
He rolled his eyes as he grinned, and he said, “My full name is Joseph, if that helps my credibility. But everyone calls me Joe.” 
“Alright, that makes me feel a little better,” you admitted. “Is there a surname?” 
“Mmm,” Joe hummed. “See, I don’t want to give you my surname.” 
“Why not?” you asked. 
“I want to maintain the mysterious stranger image that I’ve got going on,” Joe told you. “A handsome stranger sends you a drink and only shares certain information about himself; aren’t you curious to know more?” 
“Right,” you said. “That only makes you sound creepy. But also correct. Now, I wanna know everything about you.” 
“Maybe you will,” Joe shrugged. “Maybe you won’t.” 
“So, Mysterious Joe,” you started slowly, eyeing him up and down. He looked comfortable, leaned up against the bar, tapping his toe to the beat of the song, but his eyes were looking all around, over your shoulder and to the person next to you, before finally settling on your face as you spoke. It almost seemed as if he were looking for something— or someone. “What do you do?” 
“I’m an actor,” Joe answered easily, too easily. “I’m really famous, too, been in stuff that you’ve seen. You’ve seen my face before, I guarantee it.” 
That made you laugh. Joe smiled at you as you laughed at his words, and he said, “What, don’t you believe me?” 
“Not at all!” you said. 
“Good!” Joe said. “You shouldn’t!” 
“So, you’re not an actor,” you said, your laughter dying down with tiny giggles, and Joe’s cheeks turned a shade of pink under the lights. “Can I guess what you are?” 
“You can try,” Joe said. “But you’ll never guess it right.” 
“Maybe,” you started. “If you buy me an actual drink, you might convince me to drop the whole thing.” 
“Done, darling,” Joe said. “What do you want?” 
The night went mainly that way, laughing and joking with Joe, and he bought you your drinks all night. You complained every time he told the bartender to add your G&T to his tab, but Joe shook his head and insisted. The more you talked to him, the more you liked him; he was funny and very down to earth, always telling stories about his friends and family. You asked him what he was doing in Italy, and he said something about a vacation between big work events, although he didn’t elaborate what events they were. In fact, when it came to his work, he was very tight-lipped. Twice during the night, his phone went off, and he scowled at it before he declined a call from someone named “Alex”. When you asked— “Alex must really need to talk to you, surely?”— Joe shook his head. “Alex can wait,” he said. 
You weren’t sure at what point you decided that you wanted to sleep with him, but you eventually came to the realization that Joe also wanted that. He had stepped closer and closer until his hips nudged your knee as you sat on the barstool, and he carefully let his hand touch your thigh. You got the impression that he would have tugged his hand away had you expressed discomfort, and you just generally felt safe with him. He was an easy, laid-back sort of guy, and you liked that; those sorts of fellas were hard to find anywhere nowadays. Joe’s eyes canvased your body as you spoke, regaling a story from your uni days, and his gaze stopped at your lips, all of your lipstick having worn off onto the edge of your glass. 
Finally, Joe made his move. “Why don’t we go someplace more… I don’t know, quiet?” he asked, leaning forward and speaking into your ear to be heard over the music, and you nodded quickly, polishing off your drink with haste. “I’ll meet you out front, let me pay the tab.”
The night air outside was warm, and you checked your phone as you waited for Joe. It was just past one in the morning, no new calls or texts, just work emails that you promptly dismissed before you sighed. “Tired?” you heard Joe ask from behind you, and you shook your head. 
“Just… Work,” you said. “You know how it is.” 
“I do,” Joe nodded. Without the hustle and bustle of the club and the colored lights, you could finally see him properly, and you saw a subtle golden glow on his skin, faint freckles splashing his nose and cheeks, his rounded cheeks tinted pink. And his eyes. Jesus. You had seen that they were dark in the club, but outside, in the streetlight, you could finally see that they weren’t just brown. They were deep brown, dark brown, chocolate brown— neverending, hypnotizing. You felt your legs grow a little weak and, in your state of maybe one too many G&Ts, you blurted out, “You have nice eyes.”
“So do you,” Joe told you, putting a hand on your back, maybe to steady you or maybe to pull you closer. No matter why he did it, your hands went to his chest, and he drew you into him, his arms around your waist. “You’re beautiful.” 
“You should kiss me,” you told him, and Joe chuckled, brushing your hair out of your face.
“I think someone’s a little drunk,” Joe said fondly. “Where are you staying? I’ll walk you back.” 
“Umm,” you started. You couldn’t recall the name of the hotel you were at, and you went into your bag, searching for the room key that you knew had the name of the hotel on it. “This one. Here, I can’t pronounce it, I’d absolutely butcher it.” 
Joe took the key card in-between his fingers and looked at it, reading what was written, and he mumbled, “Oh, that’s close to here. C’mon, darling.” 
“How long are you in Livorno for?” you asked, carefully taking Joe’s hand in yours as you started your short walk. He instantly laced his fingers with yours, his hand big and warm and soft, and you felt yourself going warm at the thought of his hands all over you. 
“Just until Friday,” Joe told you. “Only a few more days. You?”
“Tonight’s actually my first night,” you told him. “I got in earlier today.”
“Oh, nice,” Joe said. “Well, I’m glad I got to meet you during the small window we have together.” 
“Likewise,” you told him. 
You kept small talk as you walked to your hotel, not going too deep into conversation like you had at the club, and Joe stopped himself as you approached your hotel. “Aren’t you coming up?” you asked, and Joe grimaced. 
“Not tonight, love,” he told you gently. “You’re drunk. It’s not right.” 
Although you were disappointed and pouted, you felt relieved that he had the good sense to recognize that and not try to take advantage of you in any way. “Fine,” you said. “Can I at least, like, get your phone number or something?”
Joe smiled softly. “Sure,” he said, and he told you an England-based number. You had glommed onto the fact that he was British, what with the accent and certain stories he told, but he had never told you where he lived. Now, you were narrowing in on him. You saved it in your phone as Italy Joe, and you grinned at him. 
“Can I get a goodbye kiss too?” you asked, and Joe chuckled. 
“You’re incorrigible, aren’t you?” he said. 
“Yeah, well, it’s my best quality,” you giggled. “Please?”
Joe locked eyes with you, and you shivered under his intense gaze. Carefully, he tugged you close to him again, and he gave your cheek a firm kiss before he drifted away. “Since you asked so nicely,” he whispered. “Good night, darling.”
“G’night,” you told him, and you went back into your hotel, dreams of the mysterious Joe already swimming around your head. You definitely were going to call him tomorrow.
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ju1cyfru1t · 6 months
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the hourglass ⏳ (rise! leo x reader)
prologue
pt.1
rottmnt x reader (Leo centered)
gn reader, platonic???, arguing, leo being stupid 🤞
takes place in the turtles finding mystic metal era 🤭
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Today had just not been your day at all. From the moment you woke up, everything was going wrong.
You woke up late because you had stayed up last night to study for a math test, April was sick so you were alone in most of your classes, and you had so much homework to do tonight. You know when you’re having a bad day and all the little things just seem to add up? It was one of those situations.
Now you’re walking home through the busy, noisy New York streets, absolutely exhausted but you knew you weren’t going to get to rest anytime soon.
That’s when it caught your eye in the window of an old, run down antique shop; an hourglass filled with pink sand a golden frame. It had a glow to it, willing you to go into the shop and look at it. There was just something about it…
You picked it up and observed every detail, turning it over. That’s when you saw the small piece of mystic metal wedged into the base. You knew you couldn’t just rip it out or you would damage it. Ugh.
You whipped out your phone, listening to it ring a few times.
“You’ve got Donatello.”
“Hey, Donnie,” you looked around to make sure you were alone except for the small old woman behind the counter but she was deep into a magazine, “listen, I’m at this crusty antique shop and I think I found a piece of mystic metal.”
“Perfect! Great!...What’s the catch?”
“Uh…Well, it’s wedged into the bottom of this hourglass.” You sighed.
“Hourglass?...Hm, just bring it by and I will extract it.”
“What? But I’d have to buy it and it’s…” You searched for a price tag, “Oh my god, it’s 20 dollars!”
Donnie laughed on the other side of the phone, “Don’t even worry about it! I’ll reimburse you…Maybe.”
Oh, the things you do for them. You thought for a second and took a deep breath, “Ok, fine. But you owe me…See you soon.”
The old woman set down her magazine as you placed the hourglass on the counter and digged through your wallet, praying you had enough to buy it.
“Alluring, isn’t it?” She smiled at you with a wink. You had a bad feeling about this.
“Oh, yeah…Haha.” You laughed awkwardly.
You looked very awkward as you carried your newly-owned, oversized hourglass down the sidewalk and you were definitely getting some weird looks. Hey, it’s New York City, right? Surely, they’ve seen weirder things anyway. I mean, you certainly have.
The worst part of visiting your mutant friends is having to crawl down into the sewer and hoping to god no one saw you. But…I guess if it would help them then it’s fine. They definitely owe you though.
You didn’t even bother to knock and just let yourself into their underground lair, which both you and them were used to by now. You looked around, but you didn’t see any of them around. Alright, guess you’ll just head up to Donnie’s lab and see if he’s there. Honestly, you just wanted to get this over with and go home. You loved visiting them, of course, but you were undeniably overwhelmed and not in a good mood at all.
“Whatcha got there?” You jumped and swiftly turned to face Leonardo who had a curious expression.
You sighed in relief, “It’s just you.”
“What is that?” He snatched the hourglass from your hands.
“Hey!” You reached to grab it back, but he moved it out of your reach, “Be careful, Leo. That’s not a toy!”
Leo smirked at you, raising an eyebrow (that he doesn’t have but you know what I mean), “Uh huh, I’m very careful, trust me.” He tossed the hourglass from hand to hand, observing it like you had in the shop.
“I’m serious, Leo, it’s fragile. Just give it back, ok? it’s got a shard of that metal you guys need in it and I need to give it to Donnie.” You groaned in annoyance.
“Come on, lighten up!” Leo scoffed, “What’s got you in such a bad mood?”
“Sorry,” you breathed out, “I just…Had a rough day at school.”
There was silence for a moment before Leo burst out laughing, “Seriously? School? Rough? Yeah, ok.”
“What?” You narrowed you eyes at him, confused. What the hell was he laughing at?
“I’m just saying…What’s so rough about it? You go to school, you learn or whatever, you go home. Seems pretty easy if you ask.” Leo snickered.
Now it was your turn to scoff, “And how would you know, Leon? It’s so much more than that. I mean, it’s so socially draining! All the work at school, and then the homework when you get home. It is hard. I don’t get to just relax all day like you. And put down the damn hourglass before you break it!”
“Woah, woah, woah! Protecting the city don’t just happen on it’s own, you know. I train super hard, I wouldn’t have time for pointless schoolwork. I just don’t see what’s so important about it. You act like school is all that matters to you” Leo’s smug smile faded and he shrugged, still carelessly playing with the hourglass.
“It’s not that easy! I have to care. I mean…God, you couldn’t walk a day in my shoes.”
“Oh, yeah? I’d love to see you walk a mile as a hero.” Leo challenged, smirking.
“If you knew what I go through and how hellishly unfair it is for you to even say that! Put that down!” You grabbed the other handle of the hourglass, trying to yank it away only for Leo to yank right back and leaving you in a tug-of-war.
“Puh-lease! I’d love to be in school all day without a care in the world besides some homework!” Leo’s smile turned into an annoyed, offended look.
“If you only saw the world my way for one day.” You laughed in disbelief at his dismissive, arrogant attitude, “Let go!” You pulled harder at your side of the hourglass, closing your eyes tightly.
A bright pink light filled the room and there was a buzzing sound, but you both were too angry to pay much mind before it faded away.
The hourglass hit the floor, but the glass didn’t shatter. The only part that broke was the small shard of glowing mystic metal, it fell out onto the floor with a small clink.
“Look what you did! I swear you act like such a child!” You groaned, looking back up and seeing…yourself?
“Oh, really, Y/N? I’m a…” Leo looked up and saw…himself?
You both rubbed your eyes and looked back up, blinking a few times, but you were seeing correctly. Whether you believed it or not, you had switched bodies and were staring back at yourselves.
“WHAT THE FU-”
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timextoxhajima · 1 year
Text
KISS & MAKE UP: PARK SUNGHOON
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≛ an anthology series of break-up stories that end up in a one-night stand [only hyungline] -> HEESEUNG | JAY | SUNGHOON | JAKE
≛ genre: pretty explicit smut, angst
≛ warnings: alcohol, cursing,
≛ word count: 2.9k
≛ synopsis: it’s been a couple of months since you broke up with your high school sweetheart. the reason? he wanted a family and you wanted freedom. but come the day you meet him again and park sunghoon apparently hasn’t moved on. 
≛ taglist: @from-xero​​ @haechanhues​​ @abdiitcryy​​ @kyleeanne​​ @dontcallme20​​ @vantxx95​​ 
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what a petty man, you think to yourself. you should’ve known you’d run into sunghoon - this was his territory. but bringing his personal feelings onto work grounds? 
unprofessional. 
“the labels?”
you frown at him. “what labels? i wasn’t told to label anything.”
a sharp glare. “the food? the condiments? the drinks?”
“you’re only telling me now, ten minutes prior to it starting?” you scoff and turn towards the storage. “i don’t even know if i have labels.”
sunghoon initially doesn’t follow, but you can hear his loud louboutins clacking against the floor as he hurries after you. “i find it hard to believe as an experienced event organiser, you had the brains to forget this. or rather, the lack thereof.”
ignoring him, you scour through your storage boxes. 
“great, now it’s gonna start without labels.”
“you have a strange obsession with labels,” the items in the box clunk against the sides as you shove them around like sand in a pit. “besides, if you’re running this event for the privileged, i’m almost positive they’d be clever enough to figure out... oh, i don’t know. a plate of chicken wings?” 
“but how will they know if it’s spicy or not?”
halting in your movements, you turn, still squatting, and glare upwards at him. he has his arms crossed over his chest, the curve of his tie winding outwards between the two sides of his blazer. there’s a little pinch of hair that’s sticking out from the rest of his head, and you’re just itching to cut it off. maybe stick it up his nose or something. 
“you did not just tell me to label hot wings.”
“i just did,” he clears his throat and finally relaxes his hand to point accusingly at you. “don’t mess tonight up. i don’t care what you do, don’t mess it up like you messed up everything else.”
the packet of labels in your hand falls back into the box when you stand, squinting at him in disbelief. 
“’everything else’? excuse you, it’s absolutely not my fault that we wanted different things. did you think you would still be happy if we stayed together despite knowing we wanted different things?” 
“i’d like to think we could’ve gotten through it together,” the vulnerability is nothing but a smear in his voice. this is what he likes to do - make you believe him for a moment, just long enough to win you over, before he goes back to his own beliefs. at first, you fell for it like a dog obsessed with his favourite chew toy, but at time went by, all you saw it as was manipulative. 
“don’t play that card again.”
“what card?” sunghoon frowns his dark brows together. 
“the ‘together’ card. i’m so sick of you talking about being together and getting through things together when it’s just you giving me the fucking problems and i pull you through them-”
“but isn’t being together the fucking definition of a relationship? you called it quits just because we were on different roads-”
“i called it quits because we were on different roads. you wanted a home and a family and have a dainty wife at home cooking all your stupid meals because you don’t bother how to learn to pick up a knife- but does it look like i wanna do that?”
“what’s so bad about having a home and a family, huh? is it my fault that i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and i was just obsessed with the thought of having you to myself forever?”
“oh, my god. even now... you don’t care about how i feel and what i want. you only think about how prestigious and how privileged i should be that you’re in love with me and that’s all that matters to you. the value of you to other people, and never the other way round.”
sunghoon doesn’t scare you. at some point, you loved him. he may have been spiteful and manipulative with his words but he always had good intentions, though it may have been for his own benefit. you would never know. 
it was difficult to come to terms with how bitter the relationship had gotten. nearing the end of it, you were hoping he’d be able to find the strength in him to agree to an amicable break-up. but sunghoon is a raging eternal fire stuck in ice buried deep underground, and so initiating the break-up was as good as shoving a bomb down under. 
‘amicable’ was an antonym. 
“what do you want me to say?” he looks down at you, brown eyes staring into your soul. he doesn’t cry easily, but here he is, tearing up. 
are those crocodile tears?
“i wanted a fairytale and you wanted a reality. i don’t know how to tell you that i don’t think either of those was wrong. i just thought we could come to a compromise.”
“compromise? what compromise would it be had i done what you wanted? then i’ll be living your dream, not mine.”
“and what exactly is your dream? you’ve been working so hard and yet you’re still here! you may think it’s noble of yourself that you’re putting this amount of effort and that it’ll reap some kind of harvest at the end but i was watching you work your life and time away. all i wanted to do was let you rest and relax at home at your own comfort. was that so wrong?”
“where is park sunghoon?”
the voice from outside is a relieving break from the confrontation. it worked for you, because you had no rebuttal. 
sunghoon sighs and looks down at his feet, then he looks up to the ceiling and sucks in a deep breath, finally using his fingers to push the pinch of hair on his forehead back into the rest of his dark brown locks. he rubs his eyes, getting rid of his tears. 
he clears his throat and pats down his blazer before squatting to reach behind you for the labels. he turns without a word, leaving you to look at the surrounding floor. 
but he stops at the door for a moment, then turns. 
“you think i’m not good for you because i stop you from living your life the way you want to. but it frustrates me to see you run around in circles with yourself. all i wanted to do was come home to you, stress-free and happy. but if you’d rather spend your time chasing after your own tail, then be my guest.”
he swallows, his adam’s apple shifting up and down. the door clicks open and he leaves the storage. 
“oh, there you are! god, we were looking all over for you and the event organiser. do you happen to have any kind of labelling or signages for the food? i have guests that can’t have hot wings.”
“was just looking for them.”
the footsteps fade away. the conversation gets further. the storage light flickers off due to the lack of movement.
the evening runs in slow motion. sunghoon had all the food and drinks labelled just as the doors to the event opened, and somehow used it as a conversation starter for everybody greeting him at the table. something about how he tried to snag one or two wings before it started and instantly regretted it because they were spicy.
as someone who didn’t particularly love spicy foods, sunghoon had developed a keen instinct to telling whether something was spicy. 
but occasionally, you’d sneak a peek at sunghoon, hard at work and immersed in the conversation he probably initiated. it never failed to wonder you how the introvert in him is able to hold professional conversations. 
there are few regrets in the world you would admit to having. one of them was falling out with him. 
the happier you were, the more upsetting the break-up was. sunghoon loved sneaking into your room and spending the night, but that made it all the more harder when you spent them alone thereafter. he had a knack for picking you little flowers off the road, wrapping them in napkins and leaving them at your window, but they began rotting away and flying off in the wind like ash from your ended love. 
sunghoon isn’t a man of many words - words that make sense at least - but it’s in his ache and heart break that he means every syllable he articulates. 
it’s annoying that they make sense. 
by the end of the night, you realised that sunghoon had saved you from ruining the event - half the hot wings were left untouched because they were too hot for the public. they were samyang flavoured. 
once the event had ended, sunghoon spent most of his time at the doors, seeing his guests off and making sure everyone got into their respective vehicles. you are left with the mess in the storage, that you begin to pack, worried about how you would respond when he comes in to tell you “i told you so”.
“thirty minutes,” he calls out from the outside. you assume he was talking to the person in charge of locking up the space. “thanks.”
mindlessly dumping what was left into the storage boxes, you try to lift it onto the trolley you have parked in the room. you use your thighs, but the edge of the box is heavy and it seeps into your flesh, leaving a mark. then the weight causes it to slide off and just before everything can spill out-
“what the hell-” sunghoon quite literally steps over the boxes and into a space in between - the ends of his pants rolled up thanks to the other boxes in the room - one hand gripping the edge of the box and the other holding the trolley still. “are you-”
his eyes automatically look down where the box had been resting on, and he notices the little rip in your nylon pants where the box had been resting on. with a gentle tut of his teeth, he snatches the box from you and rests it atop the others, a frown on his head. 
“you’re a fucking idiot, you know?” he grabs your arm and pulls you out of the mess. 
“i was just finishing up-” trying to move back in to take responsibility of your logistics, you take a step forward. 
“you. stay. right the fuck. there,” he says, jabbing the air with every word. he rests his arm by his side, frame awkwardly slanted over the mess on the floor. his blazer hangs by his side, the tip of the expensive material kissing the roll of mahjong paper sticking out from one of the boxes. he sighs, and purses his lips, turning around and squatting to repack the boxes. 
“i... come on. just leave it. i can do it.”
“stop trying to think you can do everything,” he rebutts, turning to look at you from his squatting position. with a gentle huff, he lifts the box infront of him and dumps it on the trolley. “if you were superman, you would’ve figured it out earlier.”
“okay, well... i get it, alright? you don’t... you don’t have to keep rubbing it in.”
“i’ll rub it in because i can and because you don’t listen,” he finishes with another box and stacks it. sunghoon stands, taking in a deep breath and combs his hair with his fingers.  
the strands of your fringe come loose from the rest of your hair, but your eyes travel down to the floor. there’s an issue of pride that you can’t overcome, but your heart drops and you forget about it when sunghoon reaches out to tuck your hair behind your ear. 
your fringe falls back into your eyes, so he pushes it up, and keeps his finger there as he looks down at you with a gentle frown on his forehead. 
before you can say anything, he leans forward. with the other palm, hot and slightly sweaty from all the lifting he’s been doing, he presses his lips into yours. 
by instinct, your eyes close. the scent of his cologne is worn, but still identiable. your hair falls back onto your lids when he releases it to cup your other cheek, and the memories of him flood back into your heart. all the nights of playful bickering about what movie to watch, all the late night strolls in the park and the skating rink dates he would drag you on just because he wanted to let you into his world. 
you had forgotten what it was like to feel special, to be the only person that sunghoon had been able and willing to open up his heart to. knowing that he still loved you made you feel like you were still special. 
your hands find the collar of his blazer, gently pushing him away. through pursed lips, you look at him with tired eyes. “hoon, i don’t think this is healthy.”
he’s quiet, refusing to remove his hands from your face. he remains his position, even after you reach up in a bid to pull his hands away from your cheeks.
“not everything anybody does in their life is healthy,” he presses his forehead unto yours. “i’d love an unhealthy love with you even if it means we’d fight and cry about it. this... cannot be replaced. not by anybody. you are my unhealthy love, and that is what i want.”
your heart is racing. you can hear the beating in your ears, and if he wasn’t holding you, you might’ve started shaking. 
but he leans down and kisses you again, this time begging you to remember everything that you once had with him, convincing you that it wasn’t worth giving up. 
it’s so much easier to know that you’d crying in his arms after a fight, than worrying about forgetting him. 
sunghoon gently pushes you back until your rear hits a countertop, and he blindly pushes whatever was on it aside. lifting you by your thighs, he places you on the surface and runs his fingers down the length of your arm. your skin tickles under his nails and his cold fingertips, which stop at your hands. he interlocks his hands with yours at the edge of the counter, then he stops and pulls away, slowly tilting his head upwards to kiss your forehead. 
his thumb and index finger are on your chin now, gently pushing you back so you were laying down. 
“wait, isn’t there a camera here or something-”
“you forget i know the people who own this building,” he raises his brows and moves backwards to kneel. then, his lips are on your ankles, undoing the straps of your heels. hold palms move up your calf and under your knees after your shoes come off, and he stands to undo the buckle on your pants. 
he helps you lift your hips, the silk sliding off your skin and to the floor with ease. sunghoon kneels again, kissing the inner side of your knees and thighs and then your hip bones, your fingers finding the crown of his head and making a mess of his waxed hair. 
your head tilts back when the final piece of clothing in his way comes off, and the heat from his skin hits where you’ve missed him. guiding your legs to rest on his shoulders, he has you like you had been in a long-distance relationship.
your toes curl, heart thunking in your chest and fingers gripping his hair tighter and tighter. 
then he stops, licking and biting his lips to get the rest of it off. you sigh, relieved from the sudden affection he’s providing you. you look down and watch him undo his belt, but he doesn’t bother to remove it, simply unbuttoning himself and pulling the zipper down. 
then he gently pulls you towards him, and it’s a moment of truth as you lock eyes with him. 
he waits for you to protest.
but you don’t. 
so he eases himself to your comfort, and your lips fall apart like your hair on the counter top as you lay back again. there’s a gentle frown in your forehead that he kisses away, his breath heavy in your hair as he gives you a few seconds. 
so, like the good ol’ times, he stands upright and starts to move, sounds and movements still tamed. but blame it on the yearning, blame it on the unhealthy need for him and the feelings he provides that cannot be replaced - it doesn’t take long for him to find where it makes your mind turn to static. 
“finish for me, princess,” he presses down with his thumb. 
and like a well-behaved one, you do. he pulls out once you’re finished, and he releases himself on your thighs. 
sunghoon is slightly panting, but he eases his breathing with a deep breath. turning around to your logistic boxes, he pulls out a packet of wet wipes. 
“are you sure i don’t have to worry about the cctv in here?” your fingers press into your temples. 
sunghoon chuckles, helping you sit up. “the only thing you need to worry about now is how you’re going to tolerate me for the rest of your life.”
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harryseightynine · 2 years
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rose; introduction
here’s a piece of something i thought i’d write about and will probably write more of! the harry of this trope is the harry in 2014 (bandana/frat) and longhair!harry.
warnings: pregnancy & kids. fluff & short : )
masterlist | ask
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“When will she be born?” Your youngest son, Nate, asked you while looking at your belly where his little sister is.
“At the end of this month.” You replied, smiling as you noticed the excitement in his eyes. “Are you looking forward to meeting her?”
“Much.”
You both laughed and continued talking. Nate telling her about his day at school and how he couldn’t wait to show Rose all of his toys.
Being 26 years old and having 3 children and being pregnant is not an easy task and requires a lot of calm. YN loved her kids, they were everything she could ever want but when you become a mom coming out of adolescence and into adulthood and having a boyfriend who travels the world all the time, it’s not something anyone is used to.
Harry and YN met before he even auditioned for X-FACTOR, your families being friends and the two practically growing up together. He is two years older, they started dating when she was 14 and he was 16 and they continued that way until she turned 18. To say that their relationship was the most beautiful thing and that they looked so happy all the time, as the Internet labels them, would be a mistake.
During the 4 years of relationship, without children, everything seemed complicated. While he traveled around, singing and doing what he loved most, she was studying for exams waiting for him to return to Hometown. On vacation, she’d manage to take a few weeks off to join him on tour and have some time just for the two of them, traveling somewhere quiet or just staying at home, lying down and cuddling.
When she turned 18, for a while, everything looked good. She wasn’t busy with college – wanting to take some time off before studying again – and they had plenty of time just for themselves. Most of 2014 was filled with joy, smiles, kisses and everything else anyone could want.
Until July, when everything changed.
YN was sick for about three days, thinking it was food poisoning, vomiting and having headaches. The idea of ​​her being pregnant never crossed her mind, not least because she and Harry always used protection.
YN was at her sister’s house, decided to stay there for a few days to help her with her newborn niece, when the pregnancy issue came up.
As Claire commented to her friend and YN about how she found out she was expecting a child, she then talked about the symptoms she was having, being the same ones YN had been experiencing lately.
When she realized she was likely to be pregnant, she went quiet, losing attention to the conversation and starting to get scared.
***
As soon as YN left Claire’s house, she ran to the pharmacy closest to her house and bought 5 different tests. Grief was already flooding through her and she just prayed that she wasn’t actually pregnant.
She couldn’t be. That’s the problem. She just can’t be pregnant.
Maybe later, when she and Harry were settled, when she was graduated and in a good steady job, maybe when she and Harry got married. It could be anytime but now.
On top of all these factors, there was Harry’s career in it all. He was world famous, playing shows all over the world and he made money from that. He was only 20 and she was 18, how could they raise a child?
YN waited nervously for 5 minutes while the tests were done. She was lost in thought, from bad to worse, anxious about what would happen if those tests had two lines, indicating that she was indeed pregnant.
When her cell phone alarm went off, she blinked, a little dizzy, and went back to the bathroom, where the answer was.
It wouldn’t be surprising to say that she almost fell backwards.
***
Over time, Harry and YN managed to adjust to the lives of new parents. Harry cut back on the number of shows, only going early in the pregnancy and when she was six months old, he definitely took time off from everything just to be with them.
They don’t regret having Hazel young, in fact, they think they couldn’t have had a better time for it. Obviously, there were disagreements, insecurities and fears in the beginning, but everything calmed down over time.
Now here they are, with 3 girls and 1 boy. 8 year old Hazel, 4 year old Caroline and Nate and Rose, getting ready to come into the world.
Hazel was like a typical big sister, always protecting her siblings and she was brave and smart. Nate, he was messier and funnier, laughing at everything and getting up to speed. Caroline, on the other hand, was determined, liked to dedicate herself to things, even if it was only with her dolls; she could say she was like YN, while the other two were just like Harry.
They couldn’t wait to meet Rose.
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bluejaysandblackbats · 2 months
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Catch and Release
Fandom: DC Comics, Batfam
Summary: AU where Jason doesn't die in the explosion and he and Tim end up attending the same high school months later.
Chapters: 16/?
Characters: Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Sebastian Ives, Jack Drake, Janet Drake, Donna Troy
Relationships: TBA
Additional Tag: Jason Todd Lives, Jason Todd-centric, POV Jason Todd, POV First Person, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Robin, Jason Todd is Not Robin (Anymore), Bruce Wayne Needs a Hug, Alfred Pennyworth is the Best, Alfred Pennyworth Knows, Stalker Tim Drake, Jason Todd Has Chronic Pain, Jason Todd Has PTSD, Angst with a Happy Ending, Unlikely Friends, Injury Recovery, Emotional Baggage, Rage, Bruce Wayne is Bad at Communicating
Chapter Sixteen: Family Reunion
Dick took us home at the end of our week. He offered to stay the night, but Tim said it was okay for him to leave. I decided to sleep in Tim’s room because I didn’t want to leave him alone.
I slept on the bottom bunk, only waking up to scissors clattering to the floor. “Tim?” I mumbled, still half-asleep. “What are you doing?” 
“Working on the cost—.” 
“Tim, it’s late. Get some sleep… I’ll help you work on it tomorrow morning,” I replied, turning toward the wall and shutting my eyes. 
“That was Wonder Girl, wasn’t it?” Tim questioned. I answered with a soft noise. “How well do you know her?” 
“Go to bed. I’ll tell you over breakfast,” I whispered. My phone vibrated under my pillow, and I opened my eyes, taking a peek at a text message. It was Bruce. I told him I’d be outside as soon as Tim was asleep. That wasn’t long. He was exhausted. So, I crept out on the balcony of Tim’s parents’ bedroom. “What is it? Did you find Jack and Janet?” 
Bruce stood in his cape and cowl, hiding from me. I would’ve been furious with him if I wasn’t so worried about Tim’s parents. “The hospital’s gonna call any minute now, so I’ve gotta make this quick. It’s not good news,” Bruce whispered. I stared at him in the dark, trying to seem angrier than I was frightened. “Janet’s gone, and Jack might not—. He might not make it, Jason. Do you want me to meet you at the hospital?”
“I don’t know… You—... Stay nearby,” I replied. He moved to hug me, and I stepped back. The costume helped him hide from me, and I hated him. 
“Jason, I’m sorry—.”
“I don’t blame you for that. Why can’t you talk to me without a buffer?” I asked. 
“Jason—.” 
“I gotta go. You said the hospital’s gonna call any minute,” I replied as I turned to leave. I returned to Tim’s room, climbing the ladder to nudge him awake. 
“Tim… Tim, please wake up. I have to talk to you,” I whispered. I felt tingling in my legs, and I knew it was a matter of time before they gave out, so I gripped the metal railing tight. Tim opened his eyes and groaned. “You have to get dressed.”
“What’s the matter?” Tim asked. 
“Your mom… She didn’t—. She didn’t make it, and the hospital’s gonna call any minute because—. Because your dad might not—. Tim,” I whimpered while I held back tears. I couldn’t take it. Tim stared at me and wrapped his arms around me. His calm frightened me. “I’m so sorry, Tim.” 
He let go of me and leaped down from his bunk to get dressed. I changed into my warmer clothes and put on my glasses. I felt sick to my stomach, but I had to hold it together. Tim slipped his portable charger into a duffel bag and a few days’ worth of our clothes. “Are you okay?” Tim asked. 
I couldn’t believe he asked me that. “I’m—. It doesn’t matter how I feel. Tim, are you alright?” I questioned. 
“Let’s keep moving. I just—.” His phone rang, and we froze. Tim stared at me and swallowed hard before answering the call. 
“Hello? Yes… No, I’m—. I’m awake,” Tim whispered, “And my mom? I understand… My brother and I will be right there.” 
He hung up and looked at me. “Mom’s dead… And Dad—. Dad’s paralyzed. Jason?” Tim questioned. 
“Tim, every day, I regret that I never got to grieve my parents. If you don’t stop to feel something, you’ll be forced to keep moving forever. I’m not okay. You can be okay if you allow yourself to be upset,” I explained. “Please don’t get stuck with their ghosts.” Tim rubbed his temple with his fingertips. He groaned and burst into tears. I grabbed his wrists and pulled him into a hug. 
“My mom,” Tim sobbed. I nodded, rubbing his back. His cries shook us both, and I finally allowed myself to cry with him. Tears slid down my cheeks, and I wished I could’ve done more. At least he wouldn’t be like me. At least he wouldn’t be like Bruce. He’d be okay.
**
Tim’s driver dropped us off at the hospital, and I offered to hang back. I sat in the hallway while he spoke to Jack. I didn’t expect him to ask me to come in, but he did. Tim stepped outside of the hospital room and beckoned me. So, I followed him inside and sat on the couch with Tim until he fell asleep. My phone vibrated. “Bruce?” I whispered. I couldn’t stop staring at Jack. I knew he was hooked to all those machines, but I saw Catherine… I could see my mom. I could almost smell the vomit and cigarettes. I wanted to break down, but something blocked it. 
“How is he?” Bruce questioned. I pushed the feeling down to look at Tim. He slept peacefully with his head on my shoulder. Warm. Breathing. Alive. 
“Not great… Tim’s asleep. What do you want?” I asked. 
“Jason, you have to come home—.” 
“I’m not going anywhere without Tim,” I interrupted, “If he can come and you promise not to bother him, I’ll come home. Without any argument…” 
“Jason, do you mean that?” Bruce asked.
I shut my eyes and swallowed my pride. “Mhm. You have my word… Let me talk to Tim about it… Give me until Monday,” I answered. 
“Do you need any extra money?” Bruce questioned. 
I sighed. “I don’t need any money… I’ve been alright,” I answered. 
“Jason, I don’t understand what happened earlier between—.” 
“I’m not a comfort item… I’m a person, and my thoughts and feelings deserve consideration. When have you ever put my feelings before what you believe and want?” I interrupted. 
“I don’t want to fight, Jason—.” Exactly!  It’s always what Bruce wants.
“Okay. Well, I don’t have anything else to say. I’ll talk to Tim before Monday… Goodbye, Bruce,” I replied. I hung up.
Tim stirred, put his feet on the couch, and laid his head on my lap. I rested a hand on his head. I couldn’t sleep because I saw death every time I shut my eyes. I could barely keep my eyes open by morning, and Tim woke up. “No, Jason… Tell me you weren’t up all night,” Tim mumbled as he sat up and rubbed his eyes. I nodded, removed my glasses, and pressed my palms to my eyelids. “Jason, you didn’t have to—.”
“It’s not your fault… I couldn’t turn my brain off last night,” I explained, “I’m in my head… It’s not—. It’s okay. I’m glad you slept.” 
“Um… Is there—? Is Bruce gonna let you stay with me?” Tim questioned. 
I nodded. “I gotta talk to you about that… He wants us to move in with him until Jack comes out of the coma. I said we would,” I answered. Tim shook his head. 
“I can’t do that. You said you were suffocating there—.”“Tim, it’s okay. I can handle it… And he promised not to bother you while you’re there,” I reassured him. I wanted Tim to feel secure more than anything. I would’ve done anything for him. I knew what it felt like to lose my mother… Two times over. I refused to let him return to an empty house. The relief that washed over Tim’s face was enough for me to stomach our return to the manor.
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thatgoblin · 4 months
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18 Weeks
Summary: John has to leave for a few weeks for his first mission out of country. Which should be fine, but an unexpected visit makes it more apparent that his new partner and him have a lot of work to do on themselves.
WARNING: Burglary, ANGST, fluff ending, Soap being a dick.
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John had been trying to keep himself from getting assigned missions that were longer than a few days, but it was inevitable that he would be sent out longer. Unfortunately, I was almost four months along when he was being sent to some undisclosed location to do undisclosed things with undisclosed people. Well, I knew his full team aside from Johnny was going. The idiot had recently broken his ankle, so he was on medical leave for a month at least.
“Are you going to be okay on your own?” John asked as he washed the dishes next to me as I dried.
“Yeah. I mean, I’ve gotten along well so far,” I chuckled. “It shouldn’t be a problem. You won’t be gone too long. You said maybe a week or two.”
“I should be. It’s never a guarantee how long I’ll be gone. The day or two work trips are in country and usually are just trips to a base for a presentation. This is more involved,” he said, handing me a bowl.
“I still think that I’ll be fine. Jesse is coming back from the States so he can come stay with me if anything,” I said. Jesse and John had met and I had never seen something so hilarious and intriguing. Jesse had given him a once over then grilled him on things that flustered John.
The amount of times that John fumbled over his words to answer Jesse about what schools he wanted for the Bean, what type of bank accounts he wanted to give the Bean, if he had plans to stay in the country. They were odd and off the wall that made no real sense, but I couldn’t help but laugh when Jesse asked if John had plans on teaching the Bean the true history of England. John was confused, but also trying his best to answer as if it was normal to explain that he’d teach the Bean how to drive a tractor if necessary.
“Oh, well that should be fine,” John said with a snort.
“Don’t be so put off by him,” I chuckled. “I know for some he’s an acquired taste, but he’s a good person and my best friend.”
“As long as you like him and he’s good to you, that’s all that matters, Love,” John said, nudging me with his elbow.
“Back to when you’ll be home, do you want to wait till the birth to find out the sex of the Bean? I know we were waiting, but I’d like to know,” I said. “Mostly because I want to get started on names.”
“When you can start calling the Bean a baby, then we’ll find out,” John said, smirking as he let the water out of the sink.
“John,” I sighed, drying my hands out. “We already talked about that.”
“And you even said that you should start doing it as well,” John said. “The baby is going to happen and the sooner you start calling Bean a baby, then you’ll feel better. I understand the detachment issues-”
“No, no you don’t,” I cut him off. “I. . . I don’t want to be my mum. I don’t want to be her, but I’m scared that if I get too attached then, IF, another baby comes along, I might treat the second baby worse.”
“Love, no,” John said. “You will be a great mum and you will have different relationships with any children we have after this one. Different isn’t bad. You’re also not alone in this. I’m here, so are the boys.”
“Most of them,” I mumbled as he gave me a look. “I know, I know, Johnny needs more time. I’m trying, John. It just sucks that my own brother has to have time to get used to me being around again.”
“It’s not cut and dry,” John said, reaching out to rub my arms. “It’s messy and I’m sorry that it’s like this. Have you thought any more about finding someone to talk to?”
“I don’t have time, John. I finally got my work under control and don’t have morning sickness,” I said before sighing deeply. “I’m doing it again, aren’t I?”
“A bit, but it’s understandable,” he snorted. “You have a lot on your shoulders and you may have lacked the tools before, but you’re getting them now.”
“I am and I need to use them,” I said, nodding before wrapping my arms around him. My bump pressed against his belly gently as we stood there holding one another. “If I need to, I’ll stay at your place. The Absolute last resort is staying with Johnny.”
“I appreciate it. My place is cleaned up and ready for you if you ever need it,” he said.
The week John left for his job, I was having a hard time with separation anxiety. I didn’t even know that I had that. I guess with having someone around so much that it was turning into an actual relationship, I was letting myself get attached in the first place. It hadn’t been like that for a very long time. John tried to ease my anxiety, saying he’d call when he could and urged me to stay at his place if I wanted to. I had held off on staying over there too long because it felt like it was one step from moving in and I was still reluctant to do so. The need for a back up plan in case anything went wrong was strong enough to keep me from accepting too much help from him.
If he suddenly decided to leave or, at the very worst, he died on a mission, I would be on my own and my sanity would not be able to tolerate that.
The first few days I stayed as busy as I could, but still found myself having a hard time sleeping. Not having anyone there as a barrier let my anxiety run rampant and sleep turned into a joke. Still, I kept working. Taking the bus, despite John insisting I use his car, I at least had that come down time between home and work where I could zone out for half an hour. Routine helped keep me on track, especially since my diagnosis of ADHD, i was doing my best to take care of myself and relearning how to do so.
The fourth day that John was gone, I had found a good rhythm of things. The day started normally and ended with a surprise phone call from John on the way home.
Pulling out my phone, I looked at the number before answering. “ ‘lo?”
“Hello, Love,” John said with a chuckle. “I have a few minutes to spare and wanted to call to check in on things.”
“Hey! Yeah, things are good! How are you?” I asked, unable to stop the grin from spreading across my face. It felt so good to hear his low gruffness that nothing else mattered.
“Good. I’m good. How’s work going?” He asked. John had explained he probably wouldn’t be able to talk about anything he was doing, but he still would want to hear from me.
“They’re good. On my way home from work now. Trying to decide what to eat for dinner. I’ve been trying to eat a bit healthier, but the baby wants butter noodles and sausage,” I said with a giggle.
“Well then, if the baby wants it, the baby gets it,” John said with a hum. “Why don’t you try picking out those prepackaged snacks? The ones with the sliced veggies and such. I bet those would help a lot.”
“Oh yeah, I’ll put that on the grocery list,” I said, pulling a pen from my pocket to write it on my hand. “I have a day off tomorrow, so I’m going to go do the shopping then. Anything special you want?”
“Nothing for me, Love,” he said. Which meant he wouldn’t be home for a while. It was disheartening, but it is what it is. “You almost home yet? I know I can’t walk you, but I can stay on the line for a bit till you are.”
“Yeah, just getting to my stop,” I said. The bus pulled over to the stop, letting a few of us off. We went in separate directions, which was normal. “I went to the stop just down the street from us.”
“From us? Have you moved me in without telling me?” He asked.
“I thought about it. What’s stopping me?” I snickered.
“Not a lot, but I know you can’t lift anything bigger than a few books with your condition.”
“Oh shush you. Don’t tempt me to prove you wrong. I’ll put me back out doin’ that,” I huffed. Walking up to the door, I had my keys out and ready to unlock it when I noticed that the door was ajar. Going quiet, I was certain that I had closed and locked the door before I left for the day. That had never been a problem. Still, I had to mentally go through my actions that morning because it didn’t look broken or forced.
“Love, you good?” John asked, pulling me back from my thoughts.
“Yeah. . . Yeah, sorry. The front door is open to my place. I was sure I closed and locked it this morning,” I said, pushing the unharmed door opening with a finger. “I think I just forgot.”
“Don’t go in there,” John said quickly. “Call the police.”
“It’s fine,” I said. “I just forgot.” Stepping into my flat, I stopped in my tracks as my stomach dropped. “I didn’t forget, someone broke in.” The front room was trashed. Things broken or tossed around. Whoever had broken in was looking for something valuable, but I didn’t have any hidden stashes of cash or jewels or anything.
“Leave the house and call the bleedin’ police!” John yelled over the phone. I was about to do so when the bedroom door opened, making me scream and throw the nearest object that happened to be a decorative clock at the person coming out. Hearing John screaming my name as the person who came out of the bedroom screamed as well.
“Johnny! You fucking knob of a cunt!?” I yelled, seeing it was my brother in his walking boot. “What are you doing!?”
“I was drivin’ by and saw the door wide open for anyone and their mum to come in!” He yelled. “I thought you were fuckin’ lying in the floor dead or something!”
“You could have called me! I just got home from work!” I snapped, then remembered that John was on the phone. He was screaming my name over the phone, even Johnny could hear him. “Shit, sorry, Jo,” I said, taking a deep breath.
“What is going on!?” John demanded. I could just see him in my mind, ready to get into a helicopter and fly home from wherever he was.
“Johnny’s here,” I said, rubbing my stomach to sooth myself. “He scared the fuckin’ shite outta me. I’m good, I’m fine. So is the babe.”
“Okay, good. Good. Johnny’s there? Hand him the phone,” he said, breathing heavily. I looked back at my brother as he limped over to me, then handed him the phone. Johnny looked at me confused before taking the phone.
“Soap here,” he said. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but Johnny kept nodding and grunting before handing me the phone back.
“John?” I asked, taking the phone back.
“Pack up a bag and go stay with Johnny till I get back,” he said. I knew that tone. It was the same he used when talking with Gaz about work. I had no choice in this, but I also understood.
“I can go stay at your place, John. It’s-”
“Go stay with your brother. I do not want you alone after this,” John cut me off. “I’m not budging on this, Love. I need you to do this for me. We can talk more when I get home, but for my sanity, please.”
“Alright,” I said with a soft sigh. “I will go stay with Johnny. We’ll clean up a bit then go.”
“Don’t touch anything, Johnny’s calling the cops. Once they’ve cleared it, then pack up and go. I want whoever did this to be caught if possible,” he said.
“I don’t even know if anything is taken, John,” I said, getting irritated. I was getting hungry and tired and my feet were starting to ache, staying longer wasn’t what I wanted to do. “It’s fine.”
“No, this is what is going to happen,” John said firmly. “Johnny’s already calling them. This is not something to sweep up and ignore, Love.”
“So, you know how you point out when I make excuses for things that need to be done? Well, I’m asking you to stop bulldozing me from afar,” I said. “I am tired and I am hungry and the cops will do nothing because they never do. It is a break in with no one hurt so they will take a look around and ask if anything was taken then make minimal effort to do something about it.”
“I know you-”
“No. We’re not going to do this over the phone. Not when you can’t come home tonight so we can talk about it in person,” I said. “Look, I know you are busy with important work and I won’t demand you drop it for me, but I can’t have an argument with you while you are away. So, I’m going to clean up, pack up, and go home with Johnny. When you get home and you still want to discuss this, then we can.”
“Alright,” John said, a soft huff said he was still upset, but I wasn’t having it. “I have to go anyways. Be safe and I’ll call when I can. Love you.”
Oh no.
“Talk to you later. Be safe,” I said before hanging up. Oh shit. Oh fuck. Oh no.
“So, I already called the police and they’ll send someone soon,” Johnny said, as he went to sit on the couch. I had been looking forward to a quiet night in with some pizza. Now I have my estranged brother on my ripped up couch after an argument with my boyfriend and an unreciprocated ‘Love you.’
“I need a drink,” I groaned, wanting to cry.
“I didn’t think you were supposed to drink while pregnant,” Johnny said, giving me a look.
“No shit, you idiot,” I snapped. “Of course I’m not drinking while pregnant, I just really want one because I just had a pile of shite dumped on me and I can’t do anything about it!”
“You don’t have to yell, Jesus,” Johnny grimaced.
“Out. I want you out. I’m not going home with you, I’m not going anywhere with you. I don’t know what John thought by ordering me to stay with you, but it’s not happening,” I said, close to losing it. Pulling out my phone, I dialed Jesse in hopes he could come over and help or I could go to his place.
“Yeah, I’m not telling Price that I let his baby mama walk off after promising I’d keep you safe,” he grunted as he stood up.
“Baby mama?” I snarled, spinning to face him. “I’m your fucking sister and his girlfriend, but you call me your captain’s baby mama? You don’t want anything to do with me anyways, so just go.”
“Happily,” Soap snapped. “You really haven’t changed. Spoiled and entitled.”
“When was I spoiled!? When was I entitled!? Huh!? When!? You fucking know Mum and Dad lied about EVERYTHING they told you and I’m the one that is supposed to give you space and time and I have to give up everything for you! You were the favorite! When you left, it was Saorsia! I have been the ugly duckling since the day I was born and you saw it growing up! You saw how our parents made me miss out on so much stuff because we had to cater to you and our sister! No one came to my graduation, my plays, my school art shows! I was that sad girl that had to accept pity compliments because the kids and teachers knew I would have no one!”
He was quiet as I lost it. Sobbing and yelling and unloading years of repressed jealousy and anger and resentment.
“But once you left for the military, Saorsia was the one they loved. Not me! When I realized they didn’t care or even love me for the fact that I was their kid, I stopped trying to please them. I stopped caring about them. It didn’t even hurt that they blamed our sister’s death on me. What did was that you believed them. That you heard them and didn’t ask me about it. I had no one but our cousin Mike on my side for so long and he did what he could. Without him I would have probably jumped into the fucking ocean long ago. Then,THEN! Everyone is concerned about you! They care about how you’re doing with me back in the picture! John said to go easy on you because it’s an adjustment for you! FOR YOU! Not for me! Not the person who had been shunned and abused and forced to be the scapegoat for everything! I’m pregnant with his baby and he was worried about you!
So, Johnny, fucking tell me how spoiled and entitled I am. Go on?” I said, tears blurring my vision as I was sobbing and nearly sick from yelling so hard.
He was quiet, shifting his body a bit as he kept opening his mouth to say something, but no words came.
“Uh. . . . Everyone alright?” Looking to the front door, a police man stepped in. “There was a call about a burglary, but it looks to be something else.”
“It’s fine. He’s just a guy I know who called it in,” I said, my voice hoarse and cracking. “Uh, I came home and found it like this. Do what you have to, I guess.”
“You sure, ma’am?” The officer asked as he looked at me with concern. I started to rub my bump out of frustration, just ready to kick everyone out and cry.
“I’m sure,” I said, taking deep breaths as I felt my stomach start to hurt from stress and hunger.
“Uh, I’ll get out of your hair,” Johnny said, ducking his head as he walked out the door. The officer looked to me, waiting for me to say something like ‘Now that he’s gone, please save me.’ I didn’t. I let him do his job as I messaged Jesse to come get me. By the time Jesse arrived, I was much calmer, but my eyes were swollen so badly, almost completely shut from how hard I had been crying.
“Oh, puddin’,” he cooed as he came to sit next to me on my destroyed couch. “Come on, let’s get you to a less chaotic home and get some ice for your poor face.” He helped me pack a bag and put in a new lock for my door. “I’ll clean this up tomorrow. Don’t worry about it.” I had just about lost my voice as well, so all I could do was nod and follow. At his place, I went right to the bedroom and flopped down. The evening was spent with Jesse giving me ice and warm tea as he put on Hollyoaks reruns and we laid in bed cuddling. While Jesse was gay, he didn’t care who was in his bed, they would be cuddled. I definitely needed it.
He helped me call into work for the rest of the week after I explained via phone notes app what had gone down, considering my house had been broken into and I was going to the clinic to get looked at as my eyes were still swollen and I felt like pure garbage.
“Does this mean I get to be the baby’s father now?” Jesse asked as we finished with the doctor’s office and were going back to his place.
“Yes,” I squeaked, my voice still not that great. “I am either going to break up with John or he’s going to leave me after this.”
“Do you want to break up with him?” He asked, leading me to the kitchen to make me some more tea as that was the only thing my throat would allow me to drink.
“I don’t want to,” I said with a sigh as I sat at his table. “I want to be with him, but I can’t have him ordering me around like that. I’m not one of his soldiers.”
“Maybe you should bring it up with him,” Jesse said. “When does he get back?”
“That’s part of the problem. I don’t know when he’ll be back,” I said, taking out the medicated cream to put on my eyes. It was a localized steroid so it was fine to use and wouldn’t affect the baby. One less thing to worry about. “Also he told me he loved me yesterday before we ended the call.”
“Oh shit, really?” Jesse said, pausing. “Did you say it back? Do you love him?”
“I didn’t say it back and I don’t know if I love him or not,” I said. “I’m just a mess right now. So much so that I don’t even know if I love myself.”
“I’m sorry, Boo,” he cooed, putting the kettle on before coming over to give me a hug. “You’ve got a lot going on. Have you thought about seeing a therapist?”
“I have actually. John wants me to so I can deal with my family’s bullshit,” I said, resting my head against him.
“Maybe you two should see a couple’s therapist, that way everyone gets some help.”
“Doubtful,” I sighed. “Pretty sure John thinks he’s the sane one in this relationship and doesn’t need help.”
“He’s a career military man, he definitely needs therapy,” Jesse snorted. “Besides, he probably needs help learning to communicate with you so you understand. You’ve only known each other for a few months now.”
“Except he understands my brother just fine,” I said. “He knows Johnny and it’s been a few years for him, but apparently he knows Johnny so he knows me.”
“John doesn’t know you because he knows your brother,” Jesse said. “You are not your brother. Just because you share DNA does not make you the same person and that’s where he’s going wrong. You are not his soldier and you’re not in the military, so working with you will be different. It sounds like he needs to be told that. I know it sounds like he should just understand, but John’s always around soldiers. It’s probably easy to forget how us civilians work.”
“You’re probably right,” I said with a nod. “I’m just. . . I’m tired, Jess. I know relationships take work and it’s not always sunshine and roses, but I’m tired of having to make sure people respect me. It probably sounds selfish and childish, but I just want a partner who doesn’t feel the need to run me over and control everything.”
“That doesn’t sound selfish or childish,” Jesse said, sitting down. “You’ve had that with every relationship, including your family. Speaking of, how do you feel now that you’ve unloaded onto Johnny?”
“Honestly? At first it felt good. Like I just verbally vomited a sickness out of me, but now I’m depressed because he didn’t say anything. He just looked shocked that I said all that and then left. I don’t know what I was hoping for.”
“You were hoping he would support you like you’ve wanted to for a very long time,” Jesse said. “It sounds like you may never have that support, even though you want it so badly. It makes you feel more alone, but you also won’t be waiting for something that will never come.”
“Why did it take me getting pregnant for all this to happen?” I asked with a sniffle. I didn’t need to be crying, but I just felt so despondent. My relationships were crumbling and once more I felt like I was backed into a corner with only Jesse there.
“Because the universe is a bitch,” he snorted. I could at least give a chuckle at that.
~::~::~::~Somewhere in Turkey~::~::~::~
John ended the call with you with a bad taste in his mouth. He felt stupid for saying ‘Love you’ to a person he’d known for only a few months to have it not returned. The roller coaster of emotions from the call had his head swimming as he went back inside. Why did you have to fight with him and push him away when he was working so hard to be what you needed? John would take care of everything if he could. You wouldn’t have to work or worry about anything if you’d let him in.
Sighing heavily, he went to his temporary office only to find Laswell getting into his scotch.
“Sorry, long day,” she said, pouring herself a hefty glass. Seeing his face, the pinched frown that seemed to make a permanent home on his brow on that mission, she poured a second glass. “I’m guessing you need this too.” John snorted and nodded. “I’m guessing the call home didn’t go well?”
“Her place was burgled when she got home,” he said. “Nearly gave me a fucking heart attack when she screamed only for it to be that fucking muppet of a brother of hers.”
“So everything’s good then?”
“It’s a fucking mess and I made it worse,” he sighed, taking the glass from Kate before having a seat next to her. “I told her to go stay with Johnny and call the cops, but she argued, like always. Said they wouldn’t be of any use and didn’t want to deal with her brother.”
“She’s right,” Kate said. “Cops won’t do anything unless she’s high priority or something big was stolen. No one was hurt, right?”
“No, she’s fine. Got home afterwards to find Johnny checking on things. I talked to him and told him to pack her bag if he had to and she’d be staying with him till I got back. When I told her what was happening, she dug her heels in and didn’t want to. Ended up having to put a pin in the mounting fight and before we hung up, I told her I loved her,” John said, looking at the glass in his hand. The amber liquid wobbled a bit as he turned it this way and that like it was a crystal ball. If he stared hard enough he could see the future and make things work.
“She didn’t say it back, did she?” Kate asked. John looked up at her to shake his head. “You’d be happier if she had though.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “I do love her and not just because she’s carrying my child. She’s different, Laswell. Not like in movies where she’s a shining vision under heaven’s light, but she’s just different. It drives me mad that she won’t let me help her with things she obviously needs help with and it makes it worse when she doesn’t even ask or acknowledge she does need help.”
“Maybe she doesn’t need or want a white knight riding in to fix things for her,” Kate said. “I mean, on paper and every romance novel I’ve read, you’d be the perfect guy. You ride into town and solve all her problems, end of story with some nice sex on the side. Sounds like the perfect story to the perfect couple. Except neither of you are perfect. In fact, I bet from her point of view, you’re almost over bearing. Sure, you’ve got good intentions and just want to help, but she’s her own person. She’s not someone for you to fix like your second hand projects that I know are mounting up in your garage.”
John wanted to argue that he wasn’t in the wrong, that you were just being difficult to be difficult, but Kate was right. He knew your history and knew your relationship with your family. You had to be self-sufficient.
“You have a good heart, John. But give the woman some agency. I mean, you tried to order her to stay with her estranged brother, who by everything I’ve heard, doesn’t like her and she doesn’t like him. It’s not your job to make her life perfect,” Kate said, reaching out to give his arm a squeeze.
“Then what is my job?” John asked. He was a provider, someone to take care of everything so that his team was always prepared. Hell, he made sure they were taken care of off duty as well. It was hard to hold back on those instincts to just care for someone, especially the mother of his child.
“To be her partner. Not her leader or captain, but partner. You’re both on the same level here and need to work together. Which means compromise and listening when she says she doesn’t want to do something, even if it’s in her best interest to do that thing. Support her and she’ll support you,” Kate said, taking a sip of her drink.
“How’d you get so smart on relationships?” John asked with a snort.
“Truthfully, my wife and I hit a bad patch about five years ago. We even separated for a few months before we went to relationship counseling and couples therapy,” Kate said. “I would recommend both of you going as well. Paula and I still do once a month or so, just to make sure we have more tools to work with. We love one another, but love isn’t enough to make things work.”
John was always glad to have Kate as a friend, but other times, like that moment, he was relieved she had taunted him at that bar in Liverpool about ‘soccer.’
~::~::~::~::~
It was nearly two weeks since John had left and we had talked a few more times since the day I had a meltdown at my brother. Things were cordial and he kept saying ‘I love you.’ at the end of each call, but I never did. He didn’t ask if I felt the same way or push for an answer, he would just say it like he was signing a letter before hanging up. Johnny was radio silent as well. I hadn’t seen him or heard from him and I was wrestling with how to be okay with that. Jesse moved in a bit, helping me replace things that needed to be as well giving me a break from my stress to talk about his life. He owned a local car shop that he worked at part of the week, which gave him freedom to help my sorry ass. Jesse would say it was just payback for me housing him for three months when he first moved here to be with his now ex, Timur.
Sometimes I needed to forget about myself and dive into the wide world of Jesse. He had met Timur through my cousin Mike after Jesse came to visit after being friends with me over the internet for years. Timur was part of the Spetznats unit that was stationed in Hereford that worked with other military operators as well. While the romance didn’t last, they were still good friends. Jesse had fallen in love with the country and decided to stay, so I helped him get his citizenship.
It was on a trip to visit his friends in D.C. that he met his long distance boyfriend, Vlad. Excuse me, boyfriends. Vlad AND Nathan. Vlad was a Ukrainian citizen who owned several night clubs in the area and Nathan did something with banks. Jesse was always vague about it, but I always forgot as he told stories of their dirty rendezvous’ and secret meetings. Apparently Jesse and the men had a penchant for office kinks. While I wasn’t exactly the most knowledgeable, I could appreciate his triumphs.
I was officially 20 weeks along when John came home. I was getting ready to go to a check up when there was a knock at the door. In the span of two weeks, my hips had started to spread and hurt like hell, meaning I waddled more than walked. The baby bump grew a few inches as well, making me fear how big this child would be when I gave birth. Getting to the door, I opened it to find John standing there with a bouquet of tulips and an armload of other items that were just stacked on one another with another language on them.
“Hi,” he said. “Uh, is this a bad time?”
“Not really,” I said, confused and caught off guard. “I’m about to go to a doctor’s appointment, if you want to come.” His face lit up as I stepped aside to let him in. “Just let me get a vase for the flowers real quick.”
“Okay.” It was awkward, having him home again after everything, because we suddenly didn’t know how to act around one another. Once I found a vase, a new one that Jesse had bought for me when we were getting replacement items, I filled it with water before placing the flowers in it. “There’s some food in these boxes, but nothing to worry about keeping out of the fridge,” he said, setting the rest of the items on the kitchen counter.
“Okay, sounds good. We better go if we want to get there on time,” I said, moving to grab my purse and jacket.
“I can drive us, if you want,” he said. I paused, turning to look at him. Had he just offered to drive us instead of telling me he was driving us? “We don’t have to,” he quickly added when I continued to stare at him.
“No, you can drive us,” I said, narrowing my eyes at him as he shifted under my gaze.
“What?” He asked.
“Are you sure you’re John Price?” I asked. “Last I checked, you didn’t really ask me about anything.”
“Jesus,” John groaned, rolling his eyes as he relaxed. “Just go get in the jeep.”
“That’s the John I know and love,” I giggled. Seeing his cheeks get a bit rosy as he straightened his posture, I stepped out to go to his jeep that was parked just outside my place. The tension was cut and things began to relax into our usual selves. I asked him how work was, he gave vague answers then asked how I was doing, I complained about the bodily changes of pregnancy in graphic detail and laughed at his embarrassed/grossed out reactions.
Once at the doctor’s office, we checked in then were seen. An ultrasound was done as usual, which meant we got to stare with tearful smiles at how our baby was doing.
“Do you want to know the sex of the baby?” The nurse asked as she snapped pictures for us to have.
“What do you want, Love?” John asked me. Last we had spoken, he wanted to wait till I could call the baby a baby because it meant I was over whatever trauma I held onto and I had wanted to know regardless, but now he was asking me? I swallowed a lump in my throat as I took his hand to give a kiss.
“We want to know,” I said, turning back to the nurse with a smile.
“Alright,” she said, showing us the screen. “There is your perfectly healthy, baby girl.”
John tightened his grip on my hand as we both let out a teary laugh as we looked at one another.
“We’re having a little girl,” he said, sniffling as he leaned down to give me a kiss.
“We’re having a little girl,” I cried, smiling before I kissed him back. For that brief moment, everything was perfect and as it should be. We took our pictures home, ready to share with our friends the good news. But when we got home, there were some unfortunate familiar faces waiting for us.
Once we were parked, I frowned as I stepped out of the jeep.
“Mum? Dad?” I said, eyes going wide. Oh fucking hell.
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maccreadysbaby · 6 months
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how do I write a character with emetophobia?
Writing Characters with Emetophobia!
from your neighborhood emetophobia haver, aka me!
TW for emetophobia things under the cut (emetophobia is a fear of vomit or vomiting)
so you want your character to have some quirky fear, and the fear of puking is what you landed on! I’m here to tell you what it’s like to have severe emetophobia and what that entails for my life. all of these struggles and symptoms are personal and doesn’t apply to everyone with emetophobia. it is a very individual phobia, this is just how my body and mind reacts
Living with Emetophobia ↴
this post has no real structure, it’s more or less just things that have happened to me. i’ve had this phobia since my inception, so here’s a list of things your characters with emetophobia might do.
Avoiding foods or actions that (probably won’t, but could) trigger sickness: I was terrified to eat anything that contained dairy because — one singular time — I heard that milk makes you throw up if you have a fever and I swore it off from the time I was 8 until I was about 12. I was literally nine years old reading labels in the store for dairy and violently throwing it back on the shelves if it contained it. Not to mention my mother was lactose intolerant (Which I’m not) but seeing her fall at the hands of dairy didn’t make me feel any better about it. During this phase I only ate about three things and you literally couldn’t get me to eat anything else to the point where I was nearly anorexic. Once my friend told me she coughed so hard she threw up and I didn’t let myself cough when I was sick for a long time after. I also ran away from anyone who coughed near me. (I was such a psycho.) Now I will eat most foods given to me, but if something repeatedly offends my stomach, I usually just stop. I’m not so dramatic about it anymore lol. (I am much healthier now, too.)
Literally running away from sick people: I will never forget one time, my brother got sick. I wasn’t even in the same room as him. My mom yelled “maccreadysbaby, can you bring me some wipes?” I did. And as soon as I saw what happened I threw them at her, ran across the house, hid behind the couch, covered my ears and started crying. Another time, my mom informed me that my brother had thrown up while I was not home for a few days, and I avoided him like the plague. Literally like I would die if I touched him. My parents stopped telling me if my siblings got sick while I was away after that. When I was in gradeschool, a classmate got sick on a Tuesday and I was fine for the rest of the week. Then I puked on Saturday. For years afterwards, if I was ever around a sick person, I’d always count four days and if I didn’t throw up on day four, finally relax. (Again, I was such a psycho.) This instinct is still here as an adult. For example, my sister just recently thought she was gonna get carsick (while I was in the back with her) and let me tell you I was so squished up to my door I couldn’t breathe. I still sort of do the day counting thing if I’m completely honest, but I’m not so terrified and incessant about it.
Thinking that they’re sick all the time: This was a terribly big thing for me. For a span of 5ish years, at the same time I swore off dairy, I basically categorized myself as gonna throw up all of the time, even when I was perfectly freaking fine. I woke up, assumed I would puke that day, because why wouldn’t I, and triggered my anxiety. Which would actually trigger stomachaches and stuff. I would sit on the stairs and beg and cry until my parents let me stay home from school, and we almost had to go to court for the amount of school I was missing because I pulled this crap every day. This phase of my life only ended when my mom took me to the doctor (while I was literally fine) and made him tell me I was just anxious and not actually going to puke. (As you can see, I was a very fun child to raise.) I don’t behave this way anymore, but if my stomach does hurt for some reason, I immediately spiral into oh SHITE not HAPPENING territory.
Have debilitating anxiety: This is one of the things on this list that still happens to me regularly. If my stomach hurts in any capacity (even on my period) I am immediately thrusted into I’m gonna freaking puke mode. I get really cold, start sweating, start trembling (like, shake the whole couch trembling) and just sit there while my anxiety eats my brain. I can’t move because some part of me thinks moving an inch is going to make me puke. No matter how much I tell myself you’re fine, you’re not going to puke, this happens to you every day and you haven’t thrown up since you were twelve, you’re being so dramatic, it doesn’t stop. I just have to sit there and wallow in my pain and anxiety until my stomach stops hurting. Then I laugh at myself for being stupid and move on, even though I routinely worry about it coming back throughout the day. If it does I rinse and repeat. If I do puke (which I fortunately haven’t done since I was twelve) I can confidently say there’d be a lot of crying and minimal screaming about how I’m gonna die.
Here’s a recent (as of literally this morning) emetophobic thought pattern for you to analyze, to help you understand what your characters minds might be doing when they’re freaking out:
I received a text that my cousin, who I saw last night, was throwing up. I was still asleep but I woke up and checked my phone anyways. This was my exact thought process.
oh SHITE I was around him, wasn’t I? Well, I guess not a lot, he spoke to me a few times and I was near him at the campfire, but I maybe not enough to make me sick. But you know who was around him? My freaking sister. And if she gets sick there’s no hope for me. oh my GOD does my stomach hurt right now? I think it does. Wait, shut up, maccreadysbaby, you’re being stupid. Think about something else and go back to sleep. Why are you SHAKING stop being so pathetic. Your stomach totally hurts right now. You have plans today maccreadysbaby you can NOT get sick you can NOT be the reason your plans are canceled. I’m totally going to throw up today as life’s way of spiting me. Shut up and go to sleep, you weren’t even around him. But I WAS we ALL were, sitting across the table doesn’t count as being far away. Maybe he just got carsick or has acid reflux or something. Today is Saturday so if I make it to Wednesday I should be fine. But what if I ACTUALLY throw up I don’t even want to think about it oh my God what if I do? Okay, you’re fine, shut up and go back to sleep.
I went back to sleep (eventually) and woke up twice more to go through that entire process again before my alarm went off. It’s basically that on repeat every time I hear of a sick person or my stomach hurts. Fun times 😬👍.
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moroser · 11 months
Text
[incoming long and personal and dark post]
it dawned on me that it’s april and that means it’s been 6 years since i stopped doing drugs. big achievement. i did weed the whole time, thinking i needed it to keep away from the worse stuff, but i stopped that too, almost 2 months ago now. everything i’m about to talk about i did without anyone in my life (offline) noticing and all by myself.
my entire life has been unstable and so difficult. and i mean difficult and sad. i used to drink pretty heavily, but i stopped when i found pills. i was taking pretty much any opioid i could find, i even stole them. i was text book addict with pills. i had every excuse to keep going with it, it made sense to me at the time. i was in so much pain mentally, emotionally, and eventually, physically. taking them was reprieve. 
eventually, i was taking so many a day, quite honestly i should have died. my brain was blank, i lost my creativity and i stopped drawing, which is the one thing i love the most to do. create. even though i did not stop, the fact i felt nothing in that realm anymore was heartbreaking. i’d spent several nights staring at the ceiling practically waiting to die. i had one dream that i can remember while on drugs and it was of me staring at myself opened-eyed and dead on my bed. it shook me.
the drugs affected my ability to think, cry and feel, then one day on my way to work, after taking so many, i got so sick on the side of the road on the freeway several times. eventually i pulled off into a town i didn’t know and passed out in the parking lot of a gas station for who knows how long. i woke up dazed with the taste of puke in my mouth, and totally dehydrated. i missed work, i was embarrassed with myself. i have no idea how long i sat there for before getting out of the car to walk around. eventually i made it home but i felt like i wasn’t the same after that. 
decided to detox (after trying before, and failing), which was the worst events i’ve been through in my life. took days, nearly a week to get over the worst of the symptoms. i don’t think i slept at all. i was so sick, shakes and chills, vomiting, etc. i let spongebob play for the entire time, that sponge grounded me lol. i’d made it through that time. and i stuck too it, using my desire to feel my creativity again and wanting to be better to my body to stay away from relapse. 
2017 i cleared my system of alcohol, pills, energy drinks, pop, and the only thing i’d let myself use was weed because i felt it would stop me from everything else. and technically, it did. it aided me for a long time. but the passed ~3 years i’ve been so ill with stomach issues and nausea and throwing up that i decided to stop that too. 
so now i’ve been completely sober for 1 month and 21 days. for the first time since high school i have nothing in my system that is altering me the way substance abuse has. it’s been a major adjustment. my focus is shit, my sleeping is difficult and my dreams are insanity. it literally feels like i’m sleeping just to wake up somewhere else because my dreams are so vivid and clear. i wake up every four hours having to adjust and remember i actually live here, not in dreamland. i didn’t dream at all while on drugs or weed, so in a way, i welcome the vibrancy of them. 
looking back, none of those things helped me. they only broke and shrouded my spirit with a darkness i don’t want to feel ever again. i want to be healthy and i want to give my body the chances that it deserves. i want to heal properly. i want to live so much. i want to find someone to be with that will understand me and accept me even with my flaws and history. i feel better already, but i know there’s still a long journey ahead and i can only hope it gets better. i deserve better. i know i’m a good person. i know i have so much creative potential in me and it’s what i want to give my energy and soul to.  
thanks for listening, if you read this. i am proud of myself for getting as far as i have but the support from my friends and strangers online has been a colossal sense of communal help i’ve never had offline. sharing my art has been a big help and just people enjoying it means so much to me. thank you.  
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whydoifeelthisquiet · 9 months
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It’s Disability Pride Month and I’m grieving. I’m grieving the years of my life I’ve spent in pain and alone. I’m grieving the shitty treatment I’ve received from abled people. I’m grieving who I was before I fully understood that most people can’t see me as a human being. I’m grieving my childhood; the fact that I’d come home crying at age 6 worried sick about my Disabled classmates and the way they were being treated by adults all while I received the same treatment. I’m grieving middle school and high school me who was bullied by full grown adults and ostracized by her peers. I’m grieving college me who is still ostracized.
I’m grieving all of the milestones I’ve missed. I’m grieving all of the day to day problems others experience. I’m grieving the fact that I can’t heal from my trauma because it’s reenforced every day when it’s made clear that I don’t belong. I’m grieving being unemployed and spending most of my time at home. I’m grieving the student I used to be, now my only goal is to simply make it to school. I’m grieving the fact that all of the friends I had offline have abandoned me. I’m grieving because nobody cares that the Disabled community is drowning in an ableist society. I’m grieving the fact that we ask people to listen for one month and the response is backlash or utter silence.
But we should stay positive, right??!!!!!!!!!!! <3
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messier // one
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Tell me, tell me, something that I don't know already cause baby, you can talk in circles for hours, make a good day sour
I woke up around 9am on my day off, feeling the sunshine through my window. My body cracked and popped as I stretched before rolling out of bed. I was so drained from my last set of shifts that all I wanted to do was lay in bed, but I had practice in an hour. I made my way down to the kitchen, poured myself some coffee before I sat down with my sister Olivia. Her brown hair was up in a messy bun and she wore workout gear, probably off to another pilates class.
My sister and I were complete opposites. She was quite girly and loved everything pink, I preferred purple and watching sports. While her hair was a nice chocolate brown, I dyed mine jet black all the time. Her skin was golden with freckles while mine was freckled and kissed with tattoos. She’d ask me to wear a dress and I’d wear one…as long as I could wear it with a pair of vans. Only thing we shared was our bright green eyes and sarcastic attitudes. “Are you going to eat?” “Nah.” I yawned, “I’ll eat after practice.” “I don’t know how you can practice on an empty stomach. I’d be throwing up halfway through.” “You just learn to keep it down.” Olivia laughed as I took a sip of my coffee. “What’s on the schedule today?” “Nothing really, Carson has practice tonight at 7pm.” She replied before a deep groan escaped her, “I can’t stand the new assistant coach he has this season though.”
My eyebrow raised, I had seen so many new people at the rink lately so I had wondered if I had run into them yet. “Who is it again?”
“Ugh, his name is Matt or Mark I can’t remember.” Olivia said rolling her eyes, making me chuckle a little bit. When she didn’t like someone she wasn’t scared to express it. “He plays on his own team and I guess he’s in a band now so I can tell he doesn’t really care. He’s been hard on Carson for no reason.”
“I can take him today if you want? I’ll gladly give this guy a piece of my mind if he starts anything.” I offered as I finished my coffee. I wasn’t about to let some moron be a bully to my nephew.
Olivia licked her lips as she flashed her eyes at me, gearing up for backhanded comment. “Not sure how helpful you’ll be because he’s definitely your type...he’s an asshole.”
“That used to be my type.” I protested but she just got up and shook her head at me. I had to admit, men who had big ego’s and were total douchebags used to drive me crazy. It had also been so long since I’ve been attracted to a man so I have no idea what my type is now. Dating hasn’t crossed my mind once since I moved here.
“Okay, I’ll see if that still holds true after you see him.” I rolled my eyes and went to get ready for practice. I threw on some leggings, a white tank top with a Dallas Stars hoodie over it. I said goodbye to Olivia before I stuffed my feet into my slides before heading out to my car. For the first time in a while I was dreading practice. Part of me just wanted to stay home and say I was sick but, I had this gut feeling that I should go anyway. 
Fuck, I wish I stayed home.
The rink was busy when I got there, and a little too loud for my liking. Normally the noise level didn’t bother me, but it was louder than usual. We usually practice when the kids were in school so I was confused why it was so full for a Friday. I turned towards the dressing room and saw all the girls standing outside of it with their gear. None of them looked happy at all. “What’s going on?” “One of the boys teams didn’t get the memo we have practice now so they’re taking their time leaving.” Stacie replied looking at her watch. “I told Taylor to not say anything, but she did anyway…so now we’re paying for it.” “Who is it?” I asked as I mentally listed all the teams who played here. “The spitfires. They have some new guy who ditched his other team to join them. He’s …” “Hot?” Stacie shook her head, “kinda, but he’s such a dick. He coaches one of the bantam teams and he’s also in a band.” As I was about to reply to her all the guys walked out, looking us up and down. One of these had to be Carson’s coach. I felt uncomfortable getting stared at like I was a piece of meat so I crossed my arms over my chest. They all left one by one but the last guy came walking out like he owned the place, causing a chorus of eye rolls from all of us. My breath hitched as he got closer to me and our eyes locked, making me realize they were brown with flecks of gold. His light brown hair was tucked under a hat, just sitting below his shoulders. I didn’t care for men with long hair, but his was doing something to me. 
Fuck he was hot.
“Nice hoodie.” My eyes flashed down to my hoodie and back over to him, noticing he was wearing the same one. My face grew hot watching him take a final look at me before walking away.  
“See what I mean?” “Yeah…total dick.” I muttered but I was drawn to him like a moth to a flame. I watched him until he was out of my sight, walking into the dressing room knowing I’d be focused on anything but hockey.
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