#And being terrified their abused son can kick their asses

[luwritesomething]

Billy Loomis x Stu Macher: The Horror of Our Love.

Words: 1266

Warnings: homophobia, strong period homophobia, internalized homophobia, use of the f slur, father beating his child, abusive household and accurcate descriptions of it. the whole story is like this and the f slur is used A LOT so please if you are triggered by this, don’t continue reading.

Summary: The world blurred before his watery eyes as he walked through the streets, a restlest, miserable soul trapped in an aching body that screamed for help. One step, another step, step — everything he could hear was the screaming of his infuriated father, all he could see was his angry red face contorted in disgust.

Author's note: OKAY SO MY SCREAM OBSESSION IS STILL STANDING, and i’ve been writing in ao3 instead of in here because i wanted to get away from my responsabilities and numerous dodge mason request. sorry, i got overwhelmed, but i’m back, and i’m bringing all of my pieces in ao3 with me. here you go. you can find the link to ao3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/40767120 also go ahead an listen to the horror of our love by ludo, great song, very scream vibey.

Criticism is appreciated and request are open! Hit that anon button and tell me your idea!

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The world blurred before his watery eyes as he walked through the streets, a restlest, miserable soul trapped in an aching body that screamed for help. One step, another step, step — everything he could hear was the screaming of his infuriated father, all he could see was his angry red face contorted in disgust. 

The cut on his lip stung, a bruise was developing strongly around his right eye, and Billy was able to feel every single hit his father had thrown at him. But what hurted the worst were the words — faggot, faggot, faggot, FAGGOT, FAGOT, FUCKING FAGOT! Billy couldn’t stop trembling, the voice of his dad still in his head, screaming that terrible word at him while kicking his ass.

His mind was fuzzy from the beating and the humiliation, and Billy hadn’t found a better option other than going to Stu’s, and he felt terribly bad about that. Him and Stu were the reason his father had found out that he was… that he liked men, and now, after being called names that he loathed, he was going back to the man that he… He had nowhere else to go, though. If Billy had stayed in his house, maybe his father would have killed him. 

Billy thought he could pass out once he saw he was already close to the Macher’s house, and he blabbered under his breath, as he kept walking, for Mr. and Mrs. Macher not to be home, because he was completely sure he wouldn’t be able to climb to Stu’s window — not when his head hurt like that, not when he could barely see what he had in front of him because of the tears that he was still holding back from his eyes. 

My own son! A… homo! He didn’t know how he did it, but Billy managed to make his way into the Macher’s porch and press his hand against the door bell for maybe too long, but he couldn’t care less. Billy pressed his head against the door frame, holding back a sob and biting down on his lip. He tasted his own blood, salty and warm, and when the door opened he couldn’t bring himself to look up. 

“Billy!” Stu exclaimed, and by his tone, he knew he was smiling widely. “I didn’t know you were coming tonight, man, if I had… Billy?”

With a shaky breath, Billy forced his head up and locked eyes with Stu. He was barely able to hold back the tears. “Can I—?” His voice was hoarse from screaming, and he had to clear his throat. He had tried to get his father to stop. Stu looked terrified. “Can I stay here? Please.”

Stu nodded, speechless, and he slid his hand against Billy’s, to hold it carefully. Billy shook violently when he felt Stu’s touch, and when Stu was ready to move his hand away, thinking he shouldn’t have held it in the first place, Billy squeezed it for reassurance. Fucking fagot.

Although Billy knew the way, Stu guided him through the set of stairs and the hallways, taking him to his own bedroom. It wasn’t like Billy had the strength or confidence to do it by himself, anyways. Stu was extremely careful while holding his hand, and he helped Billy sit at the foot of his bed as the smaller one hissed, then scrunching down before him so they could be at the same level. 

Billy’s eyes didn’t meet Stu’s, instead he was staring at the floor, spacing out, terrified, hurt. Stu’s heart ached just because of that sight. He had never imagined he would ever see Billy so hurt, and not just physically. 

“What happened?” Stu’s voice was barely a whisper, a plea for him to talk to him, to open up — his father would hate him for it.

As an answer, Billy pursed his lips together, not wanting to say anything. He shouldn’t — he couldn’t. Not to Stu, not to anyone. Stu sighed softly. “Alright, babe.” Fagot. Stu got up and looked down at Billy. “Imma search for something to patch you up and some ice for those bruises, okay? You sit tight.”

Stu stared at him, wanting for a sign of confirmation that he had heard him, and he didn’t move until he caught the way Billy nodded his head, almost minimally. 

Billy stood there, without moving, finding himself just a little bit calmer than he was before arriving at Stu's. Everything still hurt, of course, and now that he was sitting he identified the pain on his ribs — he knew his father hadn’t broken any, or else he wouldn’t be able to deal with the pain. It wouldn’t have been the first time he broke a rib.

Stu came back with everything he had said he was going to get and with a beer, which Billy guessed it would be to calm his nerves — a hypothesis proven when Stu took a quick sip of the can before sitting next to him in the bed, the items he will be needing displayed by his side. 

“Here, hold these against your eye.” Instead of an ice pack, Stu had brought frozen peas. Billy barely registered the detail, though, because he slowly picked up both bags of peas and put one against his eye and the other one against his left side, the one that hurt the most. 

Billy knew Stu was trying to be the most careful his goofiness would allow him in order to clean his wounds and scratches correctly, but it still stung every time he pressed cotton and alcohol against the open ones. He tried not to whine or complain, but he couldn’t stop from trembling from time to time. The silence was something Billy actually thanked, because he did not want to break down crying when Stu asked again what had happened. 

It was also in silence the way Stu made him get up to surround the bed and lie down in it, alone until Stu joined him from the other side of the bed. His long arms wrapped around Billy with ease, and the familiarity of his scent calmed Billy’s mind as Stu pulled him closer to his body, to shield him from the world and anything that can hurt him. Billy could have started crying, but because of the love and care in Stu’s actions.

“You’re safe now.” His voice was soft, caring, smooth. Stu’s blue eyes shone brightly when he looked down at Billy, clinging closer to him for comfort. “I’ll take care of you. You know I love you, right?”

Every single word made Billy flinch, reminding him that his father is right. He is… he… — but at the same time, all he wanted was to hide in Stu’s desk and never come out ever again. When he spoke his voice sounded all muffled, but Stu understood what he said. “My father found out.”

Stu’s smile faltered for some seconds. The idea of Hank Loomis beating his own son’s ass just because he likes a boy made him want to go absolutely batshit crazy right in the spot, but instead, Stu took a deep breath and nuzzled his nose against Billy’s forehead. 

“You can stay here as long as we want.” Stu said, honesty flooding through his words. “That’d be actually great because I just rented some horror flicks, y’know.”

He didn't say anything particularly funny, but Billy laughed softly. Stu smiled against his jet black hair when he heard Billy laugh, and for some seconds, Billy felt okay. Like nothing wrong had happened, like everything would be alright.

#billy loomis #stu macher #billy loomis x stu macher #stu macher x billy loomis #they are gay your honor #scream #scream 1 #scream 1996 #skeet ulrich #matthew lillard #billy loomis fic #stu macher fic #billy loomis x stu macher fic #my writing #writer #scream fic #slasher fic #slasher #ghostface #theyre the bestest ghostfaces #hurt/comfort #homophobia #angst #gays in love #be gay do crime #i hate all serial killers... #BUT WHEN HE STABS ME IN THE CHEST- #i love them sorry not sorry

[firerwolf]

So I finished The Golden City. My basic review is that it’s a good book. Not super long but I tore through it which is saying a lot. Desert Oath wasn’t much longer and that took me a few months to finish its well paced, all the original characters from it are good, and it’s a book about Hytham so always a plus. So before I say anything negative I want to be clear I very much recommend this book.

So first I'm gonna talk about just the generally good. The mystery of how is the enemy and who can be trusted is good. The writing is good. There's only one scene that's sort of stupid but it doesn't detract from the book as a whole. The side characters like the empress and Thyra aren't really characters, you never really get to know either of them but Justin and Leo are both good characters and that's good because they're in the book a lot.

Hytham in this book is great. He's the kind and caring man that made him a good character in Valhalla. He's a skilled fighter showing us really how much he lost when he failed his assassination attempt in Norway and it makes him more tragic. He comes off as even more tragic when, as is basically the only thing people mention, he makes a mistake and endangers the mission(more on that when I start talking about spoiler stuff) and he takes on all the blame for it and like a child who's been yelled at by their parents in the past and is terrified to bring home a test he got a B+ on he's terrified that he'll basically be kicked out of the Hidden Ones. It's all made worse because Basim also refuses to talk to him after his mistake. So then you get to England where after failing and getting himself basically crippled Basim then completely abandons Hytham. So Hytham is left feeling like he's being punished for a failure for all of Valhalla.

The negative is that the book doesn't really have to much of a conversation about the merits of Hytham's more emotional way as an assassin than Basim's emotionless version. There is only one line in the book after Hytham's mistake where he asserts that he believes caring should be a part of their creed but it's never really a conversation. Which it feels like there really should have been and it's missing. There's also nothing about Hytham's past. Like we learn more about Basim's history than Hytham which is sad because he's pretty clearly not going to be in Mirage and Ubisoft seems uninterested in his history so I wish the author had given us something. I mean you could infer from his self hatred that he's either in some way neurodivergent or he's the son of emotionally abusive parents. But even though he's around a child he never thinks of his own parents. Sort of gives the feeling that in the Last Chapter they really just pulled the 'orphan' thing out of their asses and they never had a plan.

Basim, if you like him you'll like him in this book and if you dislike him like me you'll maybe see it as he's a complete ass hole in this book. Both work. Like this book isn't going to change your opinion of Basim. Well it might make it more negative if you're like me and you think things through and if you read all the way through I promise to rant about why I came out thinking he's a monster. But for Basim's part he's not really in the book a lot. He's off getting information for the most part but he is present for major events. There is some of Hytham commenting on how unnatural Basim is and sympathy for his clear pass trauma but it really doesn't feel like Hytham really gets to know Basim.

So on to spoiler stuff. I'm gonna start with Hytham. So part way through the book Hytham has them follow Justin and they save him but it turns out that it was a diversion to try to assassinate the kid. So they run back, Hytham gets hurt but saves the kid, and then two assassin's get away. Basim orders him to say with the kid and Hytham says they should go after the injured assassins. For some reason Basim claims this is Hytham getting to emotional and forgetting their mission. But the thing is he isn't. While Hytham is emotional about having saved the kid he's not really emotional about chasing the assassin. It's not an illogical suggestion. But then Basim says he's making it personal but the reality is he isn't. This will come back later when I get to why this makes me think he's a monster because it comes off manipulative and accusatory in order to provoke Hytham. Because it doesn't come from anything logical to claim this as being personal. Not to say he isn't emotional, because he reacts emotionally to the accusation but going after injured enemies that could have information isn't crazy. Oh, also he doesn't get to kill the leader of the order, that for no reason is given to Basim, which means he literally doesn't make a single significant kill anywhere in the series.

Everything else I have to say is connected to Basim but before I lay out how he can come off as a monster in this book I just wanna talk about how this book helped me realize why I don't like him. Basim suffers from a bad case of 'main character' syndrome despite being a side character. That means he claims to have negatives, but he doesn't or they aren't negatives. So at one point he says he arrogant and to a degree he is but nothing arrogant he does have any negative side effects. Everything works out. He never struggles in a fight, never is wrong, and he never takes the blame. Like Hytham's big mistake is partially Basim's fault but at no point does Basim ever really admit that. He only claims that his failing is not keeping Hytham from getting attached to a child which Hytham points out is a stupid request. So he's basically a flawless character and at the end he magically makes everything work out. It just makes him a bad character to me. And the fact that he's using that main character power callously sucks. It makes it clear that the Basim that some fans like is going to have to be nothing like the one in Valhalla if Mirage isn't going to be a super boring game. Ezio, Arno, the twins, Bayek, even Kassandra and Eivor are all flawed characters who's flaws are present and they do fail even when they're trying. Having a flawed character at the helm is a key part of the games and Basim just isn't flawed. It just explains why hearing a game is going to be about him was not exciting for me.

Now lets get to why I feel like Basim can be viewed as a monster based on this book. So at the very end it turns out that Basim somehow made everything playout exactly how he wants it to. He perfectly saves the kid, makes him and Justin beloved by the people, makes the vikings look good, makes the emperor look good, and it was all made to happen by him and he knew it would all work out because he's just so special and such a great assassin. The thing is that if he was able to do all that and get what he wants then it makes the path Hytham takes to being willing to not tattle to the Hidden Ones and even support his viking obsession suspect. Because the path is that Hytham wants to follow the assassin's, Basim says no, Hytham reveals that he has been given a mission by the Hidden Ones to watch Basim in an emotional moment, then Basim cruelly reveals to Hytham that he knew all along because he finds Hytham really easy to read, then insults him and says that he's not competent, and then just walks away.

Thing is that if Basim knows Hytham so well then how would he not know that Hytham would follow the assassin. Maybe he didn't know that Hytham would get captured, threatened, injured, and nearly tortured by the Order but he did know something would happen and he'd have grounds to be mad. Not to mention that Hytham regularly asks why Basim came for him and Basim's response is suspect because, again, he's such a super ubber assassin. Because Basim brings the child to the rescue putting him in danger and traumatizing him which further puts Hytham in a position where he hates and blames himself for the events. And then Basim leaves Hytham with no contact, making him feel worse about his failure and when they do meet up finally they have like a fight, not a spar because Basim could have killed him a few times but Hytham barely survived, and then once Hytham is tried and beaten Basim then makes some claims that could very easily be lies. Performances. He claims he should have some of the blame, which he never actually takes for his failure, and that he saved Hytham because he's still useful to the Hidden ones and him. And Hytham believes this, he claims that the tone isn't like he's just a tool but Basim literally told him that the only reason why he didn't reveal he knew Hytham was watching him is because the Hidden Ones would send someone more competent. With the full context it makes it seem like Basim only saved him because he would have to deal with someone more skilled. And because Basim really hasn't done anything to make his tone trustworthy then how Hytham reads him is untrustworthy. Basim makes it clear he knows how to manipulate Hytham. So he uses that beaten down and in debt way that Hytham is to make him go along with his plan to use the child as bait and that plan works perfectly. And that plan working perfectly makes Hytham feel even more in debt to Basim basically making Hytham fully manipulated into a pawn for Basim to the point Hytham is the one that pushes them to go to the vikings.

It's the problem with him being so flawless is that there is no moment where it feels like Hytham for sure is seeing the real man or couldn't be being used. Because Basim is shown to always be manipulating. This also leads into the game which makes Basim even worse. It means he likely did dump the assassination on Hytham of Kjotva. The game could have put some effort in to give a reason why Hytham even tried to assassinate him which it didn't so even if we assume that was Hytham's misjudgment it makes everything in England just Basim fully discarding Hytham as he talked to him once in England and then completely abandons him. And as he supposedly knows Hytham so well he'd know how his abandonment would be seen but he doesn't care. It also could be stretched to the claim that he knew then that Sigurd would be taken by Fulke and tortured which would eventually give him what he wants. The thing is that when things work out for a character perfectly and you establish that they can get whatever they want by choice and their actions when they get that stuff through the suffering of others it makes you look pretty fucking awful.

Of course I do tend to over analyze, and I don't really like Basim or how he treats Hytham. But I am entitled to my own reading of the text so...That's it. It should be clear that not liking Basim makes me not really see this as a negative. I thought he as a jerk so thinking he's a turbo jerk is just more of what i viewed. But that is my opinion so feel free to not think that it read that way. I'm entitled to my view and you're entitled to yours.

Anyways, go read the book.

#assassin's creed #hytham #Basim #The Golden City #Spoilers #opinon

[tsuki-sennin]

It's Vicin' time!

The final form episode! It's comin' in hot! Burnin' like a son of a bitch! A certified Dad moment is within our grasp! Y'all know what time it is!

-Hiromicchi, my friend Hiromicchi!!!

-"Yeah, I kinda had to duck out of the plot for a long time... landed a role in the Ouran stage show. Sorry about your family issues, by the way. Life sucks. :("

-...my boys are really having this chat while soaking wet and naked jhlkkg

-"Hiromi! Hiromi! :D"

-Same, Love-chan.

-Ohhhhhhh, thank god, the civilian casualties have been minimized.

-You really kicked your ass into gear, Hiromicchi!

-Dom Toretto would be proud of your belief in your family, Yukimi.

-Damn, George's rage is palpable. ...I'm actually pretty proud of his progression from "Sinister Mad Scientist" to "Autistic man doing his damnedest to keep his shit together in spite of his friends' and all of humanity's lives being in danger."

-Ooooooh, there he is. Dad's comin' in hot.

-Rose Murder. ...Kyouji Murakami feels a shiver down his spine from his place in hell.

-"I will wake him up."

-I really like Akaishi's little glass earth thing.

-Sooooooooo, that's terrifying.

-Well, he's not exactly wrong about the "plaguing the cosmos" part. People idolize an elitist credit-stealing douchebag who thinks shooting cars into space is a reason to suck his dick.

-"Bro, are you sure about this? This is a terrible surge."

-"Weeeell... okay. I really fucked up."

-Man... I really feel for George.

-"Ah c'mon, I'm not gonna die! I'm gonna look cool for my son, for once."

-"We are just a normal family you'd see anywhere." ;;

-OH JESUS CHRIST THAT'S A LOUD ONE

-Yeah Buu-san, I feel that. ...or perhaps, Irabu oughta be more appropriate, now that I finished Vail Legacy.

-"Yeaaaaah, you're probably gonna die."

-Man...

-George Karizaki's really feeling it.

-I have a really poor relationship with my own father, but unlike George and Masumi, it is well and truly irreparable for reasons I have absolutely no interest in divulging to you. I want these two stupid, cruel men to make up and reach an understanding.

-Man... Genta's really about to put it all on the line.

-Oh look, it's Hikaru-kun. Epic.

-Yeeeeeeah,

-Zenryoku Zenkai! #HustleVice!

-Bitches be killin' it out there!

-Oh hey, Dai-chan!

-OH THAT'S RIGHT

-That Rex Deadman from the first episode was Hiromi's inner demon! I totally forgot about that!

-So, having no inner demon really DOES make you self-destructively overzealous...

-OHHHHHH SHIT KARIZAKI

-THAT'S HIS SON'S ROCK

-YOOOOOOOOOO

-H-hey, don't just leave Genta there!

-So, could these fights with Jeanne and Aguilera be considered a "date"?

-OHHHH SHIT VAIL

-So, Vail's interest in Genta is looking a lot less like an abuser-turned-stalker and more of one of self-preservation.

-Ohhhhh, he's misty.

-"Uhhhh... yeah, you guys have Sakura here, you got this! Vice and I will be right back, don't worry about it!"

-Ooooooooh, Dad's dyin'!

-Jesus Christ, this is horrifying.

-Hooooooly shit, Ikki smashed it with his bare hands.

-Damn... Ikki's family is truly what cares about more than anything else. Going the extra mile.

-OH SHIT IT'S FLYIN' TO GIFF

-Oh hey, Ptera Remix. Epic, I missed you.

-Oooh shit!

-Ooooooh, it's two magnet-y things!

-I am thou! Thou art I!

-Big Bang! Come On! Giffard Rex!

-LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

-Ouuuuugh, that's a spicy jingle.

-No one can stop us now!

-Let's waste these motherfuckers!

-YEAAAAAAAH

-OOOOOOOOOOOH A WHOLE SQUAD

-Gatakiriba Moment

-Yeah, this is awesome

-Let's stomp this bitch!

-Final Remix!

-Is that a ball? OHHHHH BECAUSE IKKI USED TO BE A SOCCER PLAYER OOOOOOOOUGH MY HEART

-Here it comes! The banger of a finisher!

-3!

-2!

-1!

-Hot damn! That was baller as fuck. ...no pun intended.

-Wait. Did we? Did we win!? We closed the big Giff Hole!

-Oh, of course not, we got several episodes left.

-Kagerou? Are you in there somewhere?

-"Maaaan, you're so serious, are you even our dad at this point."

-Aaaaaaaah, Papa's back!

-...y'know, I have a sneaking suspicion that Junpei Shiranami was always as goofy as Genta. It's just that Vail and Noah somehow shut his whole personality down.

-Uncle Buu-san :)

-If only Dai-chan were here...

-That's our whole stamp sheet! Done and dusted! Man... I'm gonna be really missing our Igarashi fam when Geats comes around.

-Weekend rise up!

-Man... I wonder why the Reiwa era keeps having its secondaries be played so hard. First was Fuwa being pinballed all around on all fronts by MetsubouJinrai, ZAIA, and even Aruto... then was Rintaro spending a whole 10 episodes with a massive inner struggle with an organization he views as his family... and now Dai-chan, slowly going sicko mode without Kagerou there to give him some much needed selfishness.

-I don't expect this thread to be resolved next episode, but I sure hope we see a major change at least.

#kamen rider revice #kamen rider #kr revice #revice spoilers #revive the vice: imprinted like stamps and fossils #HustleVice

[fakeboitherottengirl]

Found out my shittiest uncle broke one of my favorite cousin's left arm when he said he didnt want to play baseball anymore because he "wouldnt need it if hes not going to be a pitcher". My cousin was 11. He was horribly abused and then forced into an emotionally incestuous relationship with my piece of shit uncle who burned me with a cigarette when i was a toddler and pushed me down a flight of stairs on another occasion and now my uncle has been busted in Colorado for possession of CSAM and my cousin called me today crying asking me if my uncle ever touched me (which i said i cant confirm or deny, have no specific memory of, but my abuse by my dad's friends sons started around 2 so if there had been an incident my brain probably lumped them together, but admitted to him that my uncle often made sexual remarks about me including one which got him and my dad in a drunk fistfight where my dad wouldn't tell anybody what my uncle said or why he punched him but im sure it was disgusting) and basically told me when he would come to stay with my family for the summers was the only time in his childhood that he ever felt safe or like somebody was looking out for him and those are some of my best childhood memories too for a few months every year i had the brothers i always wanted.

This asshole also gave my favorite aunt the case of covid that killed her so he knows if he ever comes back to this state (or Delaware where my brother/her son moved) its on sight but I hurt so much for my cousin. Hes not going to have his father's half of the rent next month and is going to lose his apartment because of this. Hes likely going to have to go to a homeless shelter. Hes as long clean from meth as I am from drinking and im so afraid hes going to relapse and I cant be as close to him as I want to be like I told him if he can make it to my state my couch is always open. We were so close as kids and I KNEW he was being hurt but none of the adults did anything about it but i had no idea how bad it really was and im just fucking appalled. I hate my uncle so much. I hope he gets stabbed to death in jail since not even in jail would anybody want to rape his nasty ass. I don't think hes even going to see time behind bars though, apparently Colorado is really lenient on pedos and my cousin said his lawyer said he will likely plea down to an obscenity charge and not even wind up on a list.

Im not on good enough speaking terms with my sisters to ask but im terrified that he could have hurt one of them, or one of my girl cousins, but I cant just hit up somebody i saw 3 thanksgivings ago like "hey looks like youve been doing great congrats on the new bf, did our uncle ever diddle you?" but my father aggressively grilled me about if anything ever happened and he doesnt know what happened with his sons friends (he would kill them and never forgive himself if he knew) and Ive lost track of where in the family this fucking gun my cousin brought from Texas with him to kill himself was and everything is such a shit show. I hate him I hate him I hate him.

I told my parents my entire childhood that I was worried my uncle was abusing my cousins because he battered him in front of the family once for bringing him a warm beer (which I clearly remember but my mother denies) and everybody just acted like it wasnt their place to get involved so my uncle was allowed to just ruin his son's life so we know he physically abused children including myself and we now know he is a pedophile.

My family took his youngest son to live with us when he was at the end of school because my uncle got him kicked off the baseball team for repeatedly giving him and his friends alcohol (alcoholism runs in our family, and my cousin was maybe 12/13 when he came to stay and moved from my house to college) and he was the "golden child" because he played baseball but his dad did to him with baseball what mine did to me with writing where like I have literally no other skills so my cousin failed out of college and that ended his baseball career and now hes struggling with alcoholism and has chronic pain from over-training that hes treating by drinking more

like how many lives can one asshole ruin? How is it possible to be such a bad person? How is one person even capable of the scale of damage he caused?

#csa mention #abuse mention

[mandareeboo]

Every day I’m haunted by the fact that Assassination Classroom had absolutely no need for a season 3 but the entire class got outed as a giant government operation to train middle schoolers into assassins and we never got to see the fallout of that.

#Assassination Classroom #Falc talks #Like once they completed the mission they didn't need a season 3 #But also aaaaaaa??????? #The PARENTS????? #Nagisa's family tryna keep it together but highkey being so dysfunctional #And being terrified their abused son can kick their asses #I REFUSE to believe classes A-D didn't pester various members over the summer like bro WHAT #The school Nagisa was volunteering at like THEY DIDN'T KNOW #The old man knew about Koro-sensei but I doubt they told him they were gonns KILL him #Like that's some serious drama I wish could've fit into narrative #But just didn't line up in the plan

[c-is-for-circinate]

As promised: let's talk Hades, and how acts of abuse can create toxic environments for everyone around them, and also how people react to those environments--and to them being disrupted.

(For reference, I have just kicked Theseus's ass for the first time, it was exactly as satisfying as it was intended to be, and then I got predictably slaughtered a couple of chambers into Styx. Spoilers for everything through that point, but please no spoilers in reblogs/comments for anything after that!) Also, TW for a whole lot of discussion of abuse, particularly verbal and emotional abuse, and abusive familyworkplace dynamics.

Okay, so. To start out with, Hades is an abusive parent. He engages in innumerable acts of verbal and emotional abuse towards his son, because yep, that's what you call it when a parent constantly berates and belittles their kid for every perceived failure, including the ones the parent themselves could have prevented. Sometimes especially the ones the parent could have prevented. Zagreus failed at his office clerk job because Hades refused to teach him how to do it and then blamed him for not already knowing how. Cerberus tore up the lounge because Hades, who was actually there, chose not to stop him. Hades created, possibly deliberately, and then took full advantage of every opportunity he saw to insult and demean his kid, and the clerk job flashback shows us that he was doing so even before the escape attempts started. I'm pretty sure we're all on the same page here, but: yep, that all constitutes abuse, even if they're gods. Even if Hades has reasons for Being Like That. Even if you think Zagreus seems okay and unharmed by it (which: repeatedly throwing yourself into a gauntlet of violence that inevitably ends in your own pain and death because you're so desperate to escape home, not actually an indicator of someone who's okay). We all good on that?

Cool. Because I'm not really here to talk about how Hades' abuse directly impacts Zagreus right now (although there's for sure an essay in that too). I'm thinking about how it impacts everybody else.

Hades isn't as obviously unreasonable with anybody else in his kingdom the way he is with his kid. When we see him lecture somebody else, it's usually for an actual failure to do their job: Hypnos for literally falling asleep on the job and not doing anything that was assigned to him, Megaera for letting us past her so many time, Orpheus for being a court bard who refuses to sing. His attitude is super confrontational and unpleasant, but on the surface it doesn't necessarily look as fucked-up. Thing is, though, whether any individual act of aggression towards an employee/family member is justified or not (I would generally argue 'not', because aggression towards employees/family members is, y'know, not justifiable)--it's not about the individual acts. It's about the entire cultivated atmosphere of toxicity and abuse.

One of the very first things Meg ever says to us is, "I'd rather be on your bad side than his." Up until that point, we've got no reason to believe Meg has any history whatsoever of fucking up at her job. In fact, we've got plenty of reason to believe she's good at it. She's fiercely proud of it, she's frequently Employee Of The [Time Period], and we've apparently never even met her sisters because she handles her shit herself. But she's still scared of Hades. Dusa, who is an anxious wreck at all times because oh god what if she gets fired what if she gets fired what if she gets fired, in spite of apparently being absolutely exemplary at her job, is scared of Hades. Every single shade in the Hall is clearly terrified of Hades, and it's not because of what he's done to each of them. It's what they've seen him do to other people.

Which is how toxic environments work, whether they're work environments or families. The Court of Hades is of course both, always, with the bonus hell layer of you can't quit even if you DIE. An abuser in authority doesn't have to target you in order to make you feel scared, cowed, and desperate to please them. Humans (and gods who are basically extra-powerful humans) are good at learning by example. The residents of the Court get the picture.

So this Court is a minefield--and everyone except Zagreus is very good at tiptoeing around mines. We see it in Meg, so desperate to do her job well. We see that Hypnos very clearly does not give a shit about anything, but he still makes sure to have a list of excuses ready if/when Hades ever confronts him about failure to do his job, just in case. We see it when Achilles tells us that my ability to help you is constrained by the authority your father gives me, or whatever the line was sixty runs ago when he couldn't let me into locked chambers. The system, such as it is, works, and if Nyx talks to Hades as little as possible, if Thanatos avoids the Court entirely, if Achilles treads very carefully and knows how to keep his head down--well that's just the system, right? That's just how things are.

Even Zagreus seems to have had a role in that system as the court fuckup. He's the kid who didn't have a real job or purpose. He could take the focus of Hades' generalized, day-to-day ire off of everyone else, without triggering some of the more direct and violent ire because the work he was doing didn't really matter (a LOT of Hades' rage-triggers seem to be related to job performance, which means that the people with real jobs are of course the most at risk). And he could do so "safely" (big emphasis on the quotation marks there) because he alone of the court is Hades' actual kid, who's Prince of the Underworld no matter how much he fucks up. If one of Nyx's other kids gets something really really wrong, she might be able to protect them from some consequences, but Hades doesn't have any layer of supposed parental affection holding him back from getting violently furious about it. Zagreus gets a nice bedroom and the abuse is limited to words rather than divine power, and Hades is a dick to everyone but he only occasionally condemns people to eternities of torture, and only for good reasons like refusing to sing when your job is to be court bard, so it's fine, everybody's fine, everything's totally fine, right?

Except it's not fine when everybody is so clearly worried about anything going wrong. And it's especially not fine for Zagreus, who's the person to finally say no. He's leaving, for his own sake, because he deserves better and he's finally convinced he can have it. And that turns the whole system into disarray.

I am endlessly fascinated by the ways this game portrays different characters reacting to this upheaval in their carefully-mapped minefield. It's different for authority figures and peers and servants, different based on how people are positioned in the house under Hades' rule, and it's so spot-on and I love it.

Nyx, for instance, is absolutely calm about the whole thing, because Nyx has power. Hades can't hurt her. Hades can't even really do much against her children, not when Hypnos and Thanatos are gods in their own right. Yes, Hades rules the kingdom, but Nyx owns the land, and she gives no shits about his rages. And it's interesting, too, to see the lines she doesn't draw. The deal seems to be that Hades doesn't fuck with her, and doesn't outright threaten her kids (because Hypnos is bad at his job, demonstrably so, and Hades hasn't ruined him yet), and she doesn't interfere with the way he treats the people around him. She gives Zagreus advice and support and the mirror, but she also doesn't take a direct stand against Hades. He can't hurt her, but he could make life...difficult. She's protected, her position in the minefield is more of a safe viewing platform than slogging through the middle of it, but the mines are still there.

And then we have Achilles, who is one of my favorite characters in the whole game because of how he reacts to this whole situation. Achilles, like Nyx, is so supportive. Every single time you see him he has something encouraging to say. He gives us his Codex, secretly finds us weapons, trained us for years, clearly wants us to succeed. And still he's limited, not necessarily out of fear for himself (though he has to be scared for himself, he knows what Hades does to people who anger him), but out of concern that if he gives Zagreus too much help in one way, he won't be able to provide help at all later. He's still so careful.

Achilles and Nyx are so fucking important to this story because they're the only authority figures Zagreus really has in his life except for his father, and they are so supportive. They're what keep this story from being a nightmare of psychological horror and depression. They can't stop the pressure from Hades and this life in his house being miserable for Zag, but they can give us hope, remind us that Zagreus is still loved. And they have such an incredibly important role when it comes to guilt, which is one of the biggest ways toxic systems maintain themselves.

If Zagreus leaves, what happens to everybody else? Who takes Hades' wrath then? Who becomes court scapegoat if he's not there, and also, who gets punished for his escape? These questions matter, and we see him worry about it! He asks Nyx and Achilles both, is it going to be okay that you're helping me, are you going to be alright, will my father hurt you for this? And they are both so firm about telling him no. No, I will be fine. See, here's the list of reasons about why I'm going to be fine, why my position in this minefield is secure. They make a point of telling us that it's fine, that we do not need to hold ourself back from getting out of this abusive situation for their sake. That is instrumental in Zagreus's ability to keep making these escape attempts without feeling too guilty and worried and selfish to go on. (Another thing that's actually really important in setting up that dynamic--we see that Hades cares about Cerberus, even if he's using him as a pawn against us, and Cerberus seems to be the one figure in court who Hades doesn't get mad at. The dog isn't at risk, and that is really essential in keeping the story from getting too grim.) These people who we care about refuse to let themselves be held hostage to secure our good behavior.

It's also really useful for raising the stakes later in the story--we see Hades arguing with Nyx once or twice, and we see Zagreus feeling guilty about it, but it's also a sign that we're making enough progress to piss him off. After I finally made it out of Elysium on my last run, I came home to find him furious with Achilles in a way that actually makes me nervous, because Achilles does not have nearly as much security in his position as he says he does. (Achilles is such a good teacher/authority figure, because he knows goddamn well what Hades could do to him, and still refuses to let fear for his own situation stop him from helping the abused kid under his care escape his. And no, not everybody has the capacity to do that, but it matters so much coming from the guy who helped raise us. It matters so much. I do not even have the words for how much.)

It's also no mistake that many of the people we find supporting us along our journey are either the people with the most power in their immediate environment, or the least. Sisyphus helps us because what more could they do to me than this? Orpheus is a little wild around the eyes and somewhat disconnected from reality, and he wishes us the best because someone should get what they want and also he no longer gives a single fuck what happens to him. Eurydice has her own cozy little corner of Asphodel, as safe from Hades' rage as anybody anywhere in his realm because she's tucked in such an out-of-the-way middle place she's outside his notice. Dusa is so scared of everything anyway that, crush aside, she isn't any more threatened by us escaping than she is just by her everyday life here. Charon is unfathomable and unstoppable; Skelly literally exists to be a punching bag, and yet he also seems basically immune to pain, no matter what we do to him. There's no threat from Hades there.

So the people most at risk when I flip the world on its ear are the ones who have so much standing that they have something to lose, but not enough to protect them from losing it. Which of course brings us to Than and Meg--who are, of course, the two people who also seem by far the most upset by my attempts to leave.

As authority figures, Nyx and Achilles are constantly reinforcing the message that it's Hades' fault, not ours, if they or anybody else get caught in the crossfire of his wrath. I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing, and it's not my guilt to bear. From Megaera and Thanatos, we get the opposite message--I am fucking with things, I am hurting people, and I need to stop. Zagreus isn't just abandoning them, as a friend or brother or lover or all of the above they're Greek gods who even knows. He's betraying them. They were in this together, as friends or lovers or whatever, but now Zagreus is sending earthquakes through the minefield they both still have to stand in. He is about to capsize this boat in the middle of a thunderstorm, he is fucking with the system, and they're the ones who are going to get most hurt.

I'm so curious how this is going to work for Than, who out of everyone we meet holds the closest role to Nyx's in terms of being sheltered from Hades' wrath. He's the guy who gets to leave, after all, even though he always has to come back. I've seen the least of him out of anybody so far because it took forever for me to get to Elysium, but two things really stand out and I'm so interested to see where they go. One, he really genuinely does care about Zagreus. He wants us safe, he wants us unhurt, the accessory he gives us only grants its bonus if we clear a room without taking injury, he keeps showing up to help. And two, he wants us to give up and go back and recognize how good we had it. Which is SO fucking interesting, considering how miserable Zagreus so clearly was, and how legitimate his reasons for being miserable were.

It makes me wonder so much about Than's standards for comparison. Does he know something we don't about what's waiting for us on the surface, something that might theoretically hurt Zagreus even more than staying down below? Has his life, which apparently allows him more freedom than anybody else in the Court, sucked horribly in ways we haven't seen, and that's why he spends so little time there in the first place? Either of those things is plausible, both of those things are plausible, and yet either one leads to this sense of patronizing, because he refuses to simply tell us. If something terrible is awaiting us, don't give us vague warnings, tell us what it is and let us decide for ourself! If you're fucking jealous because we might get out entirely and you're still stuck coming back here, say so. If you're worried about your mom--and he does bring her up, how could Zagreus turn his back on her like that, does seem to worry for her--then let's have an actual conversation about how many times she has insisted I do this and also how much I love her.

And, right, it's clear that a lot of Thanatos being upset is simply, you were going to leave me without even saying goodbye, you want to leave ME, which is understandable! But, like, he is demonstrably the one god who gets to visit the surface. He's the one person we actually COULD expect to see again. And he is absolutely also upset because there's an Order To Things, and we're fucking it up. We used to be his careless callow reckless friend who could talk back to Hades and get away with it, and now we're not, and everything is changing and we might leave him altogether, and we might leave him alone in that court without us, and he hates it.

Is it a short-sighted, selfish fear on his part? Yes, absolutely. Even if he's not scared of Hades on his own behalf, he is still frightened by what happens if we upset this system--and maybe it's the sanctity of a much bigger system than the Underworld that he's worried about! Maybe it's the whole divine and cosmic order. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect is enabling the abuse Zagreus has been dealing with for however-long he's been alive. Whatever system he wants so badly to protect OUGHT to be overturned, or at least shaken up. But this is what toxic systems DO. They convince the people within them that they have to be maintained, that a broken system that hurts the people within it is far better than no system at all, that changing the world is too scary and too dangerous. And Thanatos wants his whatever-Zagreus-is-to-him to be there, because he loves him and also because that's how the world works, and those things are all tangled up in one another, and that is how relationships are in a messed-up family like this so therefore I love it.

And Meg. Meg, the best for last, my dear, beautiful, furious, bitter, scared angry tired girl. I adore her. I am absolutely never going to date her, because the thing Zagreus needs most in his life hurts her, more directly than anybody else in the story, and that sucks, and it's not Zag's fault but they still shouldn't be together. Meg has taken more injury from this situation than anyone, quite literally as well as metaphorically, and it's not her fault any more than it's ours, but oh boy it has made her lash out and it's awful and it's perfect.

Meg's place in the Court of Hades is unique because she's not dead, not a mortal, not anything other than a god--but she's also not family. Nyx is not her mother. She's very much part of this system, she and her two sisters belong to Hades-the-realm and therefore also Hades-the-king, she can't leave, but she also doesn't have that protection of Nyx watching out for her in the same way. She's not royalty. She and her sisters (if you ask Hesiod instead of Virgil, which seems to be the interpretation the game's going with here) sprang from the blood of maimed Uranus at the same time as Aphrodite, but fuck knows Aphrodite isn't claiming them as siblings. And she can't be fired, exactly, but she sure can be demoted, and she sure can be made miserable in her job. Meg is vulnerable in a way very few people in Hades' employ are. She's a lot harder to do away with than any one random shade, but she's also a lot harder to miss blending in with a crowd.

What's more, she's the one person in this whole mess who is specifically tasked with stopping us from leaving. Hypnos isn't ordered to put us to sleep and keep us in our room. Thanatos can't be compelled or punished if he doesn't hunt us down. Achilles isn't told to lock us up and keep the keys. Meg is the one stationed at the doorway to Tartarus to keep us in. Meg is the one who gets in trouble when we leave. Meg (who Hades knows goddamn well Zagreus cares for, or cared for, who he absolutely knows we used to date) is the one who has to fight us again and again and again. And she's the one who keeps dying.

Again, it's this incredibly fucked-up guilt/hostage situation deliberately designed to keep people from fleeing abusive situations. Meg's insistence on fighting us now puts Zagreus in the position of having to hurt her himself again and again. Now suddenly we're the ones sticking a sword in our ex-girlfriend. Now suddenly someone can point to our desire to leave, to flee, to escape, and say, how selfish. How cruel. How terrible of us to want to go, when we're even willing to hurt the people we love to do it.

Except, right: Hades is the one who demands Meg stand there and stop us. Hades is the one who puts both of us in that position. Meg is also in an abusive situation, and she's willing to hurt us to protect herself. "I'd rather be on your bad side than your father's." It's easy to blame her at the start for being complicit, for being a tool of our father's abuse, for being on his side. It gets harder as the game goes on. I've killed her so many times. There's no way for her to beat me. She knows at this point that she can't beat me. She still fights, every single time, still throws herself upon that spike, not because she thinks she has any chance of stopping me but because she is so damn scared of what will happen if she doesn't try.

In fact, Meg's the one person we have actually seen face consequences for our actions so far, instead of just facing the threat of them. Her sisters are here. Her sisters, who she clearly does not want here, who are wild and violent and who she does not want in her life or anywhere near her, let alone near the job she takes so much pride in. She gets to deal with them now. (Hades doesn't have to deal with them. They're still not allowed in his court. But Meg does.) She gets stabbed, and bludgeoned, and shot, and lightning-struck, and poisoned, and every other thing we do to her. Thanatos doesn't. Nyx and Achilles and Hypnos don't. Bug Meg? Oh yes. Meg pays.

And yes, ok, she is complicit in this system. Everybody is complicit in this system. Zagreus who's trying to escape on his own behalf instead of overthrowing his father for the sake of everyone he'd otherwise be leaving behind is complicit in this system. Pointing fingers and pulling strings of who's more at fault? and who do we blame for this? is exactly how this sort of system perpetuates itself. Your sister always talked back at the dinner table and put everyone in an even worse and more violent mood. Your coworker refuses to work more than forty hours a week so now you have to take overtime to pick up their slack. You're enabling your dad by asking your sister to shut up, you're enabling your employer by working as hard as you do so you don't get fired, everyone's at fault, everyone's to blame, everyone is--

It's not everyone. It's Hades. It's Hades at the root of everything, and probably something big and institutional and fucked-up even beyond him. But even if everyone down in this Underworld does have to be trapped here forever, even if he's trapped here forever, Hades is neither challenging the system that put them here nor trying to make that fate better for anyone else stuck with him. He's just created an entire kingdom of backbiting and misery and people who can either go along with his whims or suffer the consequences.

At this point in the game, Meg is so fucking tired. Every time we run into her in the lounge, hunched over a table, the venom in her voice when she tells us "Do I look like I have anything to say to you?" is so bitter and so exhausted. There was a system, and she knew her place in the system, and it was a system divinely ordered by the gods themselves, and sure it was cruel but that's the literal will of the universe as far as she knows it. She had a role, and her role was vengeance and punishment and violence against those who'd committed the most egregious of sins in life, and there was a point to it, she was the divine deterrent to convince people not to do those things, and that was just, and that was right. The GODS THEMSELVES said so. How do you argue with that? You can't possibly argue with that!

And Zagreus is arguing with that. In trying to leave, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that nothing in the Underworld ever gets to leave it. In disobeying his father to do so, he's questioning the unbreakable rule that what the gods say is LAW. He's breaking everything.

And of course he's not trying to do any of that. He's not trying to destabilize the system at all. He's just trying to get himself out of it, to a place where he feels like he belongs and maybe a parent who's slightly nicer to him than this one. But toxic systems like this one break when the people within them have access to another option. When the kids find a way to actually leave, and not answer the phone, and not come home for holidays, and not deal with it any more. When the employees have the economic freedom to quit. When opportunities granted by education, money, social support, etc etc etc, show up and give people a choice. Even if the option is only ever for Zagreus--he's demonstrating that an option exists. Which is, of course, the one thing the system cannot ever allow.

I really like this game.

#hades game #hades spoilers #C plays stuff #driveby meta attack

[bakugosbratx]

omg could you do a dark villain Shoto x fem reader smut?

NSFW 18+ The Pawn— AU Villian! Shoto Todoroki x Fem! Reader

Warning: 18+ content. Unprotected sexual intercourse, alternate universe, toxic relationship, stolkholm syndrome, fluff, angst, gaslighting, manipulation, kidnapping, murder of family, punishment, bdsm, power play, yandere tendencies, etc.

Words: 2,410

Check out my other works here

A/N: Thank you so much for your request! I am so sorry it took me forever to do it. But I hope it meets what you’re looking for. This is my first time writing for Shoto so I apologize in advance.

Tags: @awilddreamerwrites @peachsenpie @milkthistletea @quietlegends @idfkwtfgof

“Any last words?” Shoto questions with a demeaning scowl of disgust, his index finger becoming restless on the pistol’s trigger. The barrel of the gun is resting on the man’s temple while he pleads for mercy.

“I’ll have your money by next week, I swear!” The man cried.

“You said that last time. To be quite frank, I’m not really fond of your lying, Y/L/N.” Shoto admits, cocking the gun so it can fire. The terrified man’s eyes grew wide as tears stream down his face.

“Shoto,” his breath hitches, “p-please. I have a family to take care of. A wife and two children. Please.”

Horrific muffled screams filled the kitchen where your family reside as the gunshot went off. Blood leaked from your father’s bullet wound onto the floor beneath him. You all were forced to watch, tied up and helpless. Shoto even had his crew gag you so your words would not disturb his business meeting. He hates interruptions.

“Disgusting.” Shoto complains, referencing to some of the blood covering his face. Igniting his left side, he sets your father’s corpse on fire. The smell of burning flesh filled your snot filled nostrils as more whimpers escaped your cloth covered lips. This caught Shoto’s attention.

“You,” he calls out as he makes his way towards your tied up body. He picks you up with ease, throwing you over his muscular shoulder. “Are coming with me.”

Your muffled remarks were no use as well as your kicks. You are terrified and not sure why Shoto, Japan’s notorious killer, is doing in your household right now, but you know it’s not good.

“Sir,” one of the men stopped you two as Shoto is making his way towards the exit. He pauses his motion, waiting for the man’s question. “What do you want us to do with the other two? Heroes will be here any moment.”

Shoto pondered the man’s words for a moment. You are silently pleading that he will just let them go, but that was not even a thought in his mind. “Leave them be.”

“But sir—“

“The house will be burnt to ash in any given moment,” he activates his left side for emphasis, “if you want to stay alive, I suggest you gather up the others and get a move on.”

The man nodded and Shoto begins walking out of the house. You struggle in his grasp, but Shoto remains undisturbed by your antics. Throwing you into the back of a van, he slams the double doors. Now all you are left with is your thoughts.

This doesn’t seem real. It truly can’t be. Your family is being massacred and there is not a thing you can do about it. You can even hear their muzzled screams as your house goes up in flames. Still, you are useless as the van starts and drives far away from the crime scene.

Shoto Todoroki is Japan’s worse nightmare. Numerous accounts of murder, abuse of power, kidnapping, anything terrible had Shoto’s name on it. No one knows much about the villain’s personal life except for his heroic father with a bad temper. Some say it is his fault for the way his son turned out and Shoto would agree, but Shoto’s crimes will not be taken from him. No, they are all his doing and he is proud of it.

“Y/N,” Shoto called, making you snap out of your thoughts. You turn to meet the man that now claims you as his. “Are you alright, love? You hardly touched your food.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” You mumbled, giving a soft smile. Bringing the ramen noodle soup to your lips, you forced yourself to eat the food. Your stomach is in shambles as the thoughts from that night came back. There are still many unanswered questions and unknown puzzle pieces, but that is a life you need to forget about. You are Shoto’s now. You have no choice but to be his.

Shoto studied your features. If there is one thing Shoto is not is dumb. He is observant. Just one wrong look and you are in deep trouble. Considering you have been living with Shoto for over a year now, you have grown accustomed to his ways. You have learned to appease him in anyway to make you happy. Especially if it is going to keep you alive.

“You know I don’t appreciate when you lie to me.” Shoto nonchalantly reminds you, noticing how quickly you swallow when the words flow out off his tongue.

“I-I’m not lying, Shoto. Honestly.” You stammered, hoping he would not notice the fear trickling in your eyes. He did, though. Shoto noticed everything about you. One of the many things you despised about him.

The rest of super was ate in silence. As you have learned, this is never a good sign. When Shoto is quiet, he’s plotting. Usually, it’s your punishment. You can see it in his eyes and the subtle touches he does to you. All to make you feel uneasy. Just like he can read you, you are learning to read him just the same.

Once dinner was over, he gathered the dirty dinning wear and washed them. You remained in your chair until you are granted permission to stand up. Your heart is racing with anticipation. What is Shoto plotting? Especially for something as simple as lying.

“Y/N,” Shoto paused to make sure your attention was his. The hairs on the back of your neck are standing straight along with your body stiffening. You hear him walking towards you, his one cold hand and other warm one rest on your shoulders. “Go upstairs to our shared bedroom.”

“Y-Yes, Shoto.” You mumbled, scurrying up the steps like the good behave girl he taught you to be. If only your filthy little mouth could stop lying.

Shoto is quick to follow after your trembling body. His presence is swallowing you whole as he march up the stairs behind you. Your clammy palm turns the golden doorknob into the master bedroom. You immediately turn around, groping your butt in fear for what may happen to it.

Shoto shuts the door behind him, leaning against it with his arms folded. His face held its usual unamused look as he glares at you.

“I’m giving you one last chance to be honest with me, Y/N.”

“I-I have been honest a-all along, Shoto.” You argued. Shoto’s glare intensified.

“You were thinking about your family again, weren’t you?”

“What? No, I-“

“You’re just like your father.” Shoto scornfully chuckled, strolling towards you. His right hand folded around your neck, giving it a nice squeeze as he whispered in your ear, “and you know how much I truly despise your father.”

His hot breath seemed to linger on the shell of your ear. Your eyes harden as they meet his. His icy hand seemed to make this choking experience even worse. You would get frostbite if it gets any colder, but something in you snapped. You have not fought back in months. You became the submissive girl Shoto desperately wanted you to be yet you are still in the same position as many times before.

“You’re one to talk.” You choked out. The hold on your neck became stronger, circulation being lost to your organs. You are pushed onto the bed, Shoto’s muscular form on top of you.

“Don’t you ever compare me to that monster again, understand me?” Shoto growls as he watch you struggle beneath him. You started to turn pale as your body loses its natural color from lack of air flow. His hatred from his father and yours is taking over as you slowly start to become unconscious. He finally lets go.

You cough, grasping for air. It felt like there was not enough in there to supply your deprived body. Especially with Shoto’s suffocating presence on top of you.

“You have some real nerve talking to me like that, Y/N. When will you learn that your family is the true bad guys in the situation, not me. They screwed me over and I came for what they owed me. You’re just a pawn.”

“You’re lying..” You mumbled out in disbelief. Shoto’s devious grin just grew wider at the tears in your eyes.

“I’m not like your father.” Shoto spats, venom dripping from every wretched word. Your heart is aching and this only fuels the fire.

“Fuck you.” You hissed, warm tears streaming down your face. Shoto only chuckled at your mere offense.

“I plan on it.”

Your look of disgust was ignored as Shoto’s lips trailed from your neck to your lips. You forced yourself to kiss back. You always do. You two had sex plenty of times and sadly, you enjoyed it, but when it’s used for punishment or after he has tears down any sheer ounce of self esteem you possessed it is quite difficult to get in the mood.

“Why do you keep me here?” You finally breathe out as your lips disconnect. Shoto furrowed his eyebrows together.

“Because your family is dead.”

“I know that!” You exclaimed. Shoto is very intelligent, but someone who is also literal. He does not always catch onto what you’re actually trying to ask. “I mean, if I’m just some pawn, why keep me here? Why not let me have the same fate as my family?”

Shoto stayed silent. He pondered how he should answer this. He just started touching you outside of the bedroom a couple months ago. It even took him a long time to have sexual intercourse with you. He knows he could have killed you off. He is sure of it. You have been a pain in his ass since he collected you for payment yet you’re still here.

“I don’t know.” Shoto answered, truthfully.

You sigh. You are not sure what answer you were expecting, but knowing where this is leading does not make you feel any better about yourself. You just feel more used.

Silence over fell you two. Shoto is in deep thought as so are you. You are worried that your days are numbered now, but Shoto was not even thinking about that. He is more thinking of himself and how he can’t murder you. He actually likes having you around. He may never say it and his facial features will never show it, but with you by his side, his frozen heart starts to thaw. Just by your simple glimpses and touches.

Part of him hated you for that.

“Shoto,” you whisper, catching his attention. You made yourself look away. You have so many conflicting thoughts. Shoto is all you have now and in all honesty, you have grown not to hate the guy. You love the soft touches and the way he keeps you warm at night. He is so observant of the slightest of things. That’s more than your family has ever given you.

Your right hand cupped his cheek. He seemed slightly tense by the action, but he instantly fell into your touch. Your thumb grazed his cheek.

“I-I,” you meet his gaze, “I enjoy your company.” You admit. Shoto kept silent, but your words meant something to him. You both are not good with this kind of stuff. You were never taught it. This is the closest thing you two will ever get to ‘I love you.’

Your lips connected once again. During the process, each one of your articles of clothing was discarded to the ground below. Shoto kissed down your exposed breast, stomach, and finally stopped at your pussy. He swiped his tongue between your folds sending chills down your spine along with needy moans escaping your parted lips.

“Shoto, please.“ You whined, wanting him to make you soaked already, but you are on Shoto’s terms. He gets to decide everything.

Luckily, he did not make you wait long as tongue swirled on your sensitive clit. Your legs rested on his shoulders as he devoured you. Small groans is all Shoto could do as his tongue explored every inch of your pussy. Not a spot was missed nor would he allow there to be. Your clit was being the most spoiled. Your entrance was then meet shortly after. You did your best to conceal your sweet melodies of pleasure, but Shoto is not allowing you to do so.

“You have a voice for a reason. Use it.” He orders in a low growl amongst your cunt.

“Shoto,” you sob, “I’m about to cum. Please.”

You arched your back as your cunt was about to release. Shoto sped up the pace, helping you meet your climax even sooner. On que, you sing sweet little melodies of moans as you release into the man’s mouth. Every drop was swallowed by him.

Shoto stood up, grabbing your hips to pull you closer to the edge of the bed. “Keep your eyes on me at all times. Understood?”

You nod, eagerly. “Yes, Shoto.”

Shoto aligned his erection with your weeping entrance. Shortly after, your walls are hugging his length as it dives deeper and deeper into you. Each thrust loosened you even more and he kept a steady pace. You gripped the expensive European satin bedsheets as you babbled incoherent words and phrases. You kept your eyes locked on Shoto the whole time just like he ordered.

“Shoto.” You finally moan aloud as his dick is inside of you.

“Yeah, you like that, baby?” He groans. Your crying cunt was dripping with your slick onto the fabric of the bed and on Shoto’s cock.

“Yes.” You manage to blurt out as you gasp for more. His cock felt amazing no matter how much you wanted to hate him for it. This is one of the ways he shows affection. You learned to accept that.

Shoto’s hands find their way to your bouncing titties. The difference between temperatures sent your body into overdrive. He loved seeing the lewd faces you make as he used his power to pleasure you. Shoto’s dick did not stop thrusting into you through this process either though it is twitching.

Pre-cum leaks into your cunt. Shoto removes his hands from your breast as he picks up the pace. His knees start to buckle beneath him as cum flows from his cock. Every drop is milked from him until he pulls outs.

This is his way of saying ‘I love you.’

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved

#mha shoto #bratx writes #bakugosbratx #shoto todoroki #bnha shoto #bnha todoroki #todoroki shouto #todoroki shōto #shoto x y/n #shoto x you #shoto x reader #shoto smau #shoto smut #todoroki smut #shouto x y/n #mha shouto #shouto x reader #yandere my hero academia #yandere shoto todoroki #yandere shouto

[isagrimorie]

[initial reactions] Legacies 4x13 - Was This the Monster You Saw?

- OH JED. I'm glad we finally got his backstory but also, oH JED. But also that first kiss. I'm glad they were able to set this up properly.

TVDU is basically littered with the dead bodies of abusive dads. And Jed's no different.

For all the ways Alaric is not a great dad he isn't anywhere close to Mikael. Or Katherine's, to Tyler's and Jed's fathers.

He and Klaus actually are good dads, just not the best nor the greatest. Seriously, who knew Klaus would be a good dad? Even though he fucked up Marcel, admittedly growing up he wasn't that terrible to Marcel that he grew-up as well adjusted as he did. It's only when Marcel became a vamp that Klaus's insecurities started coming to play and started to treat him as less of a son and more of a 'friend and brother'.

I have no feelings about Alaric at this point except that think the Limbo arc is a dud. Someone free Landon from there, free him, and let him lead a happy and Human life.

- "You also need an accountability partner."

Hope doesn't mention at all that she just lost her supposed unbreakable accountability partner because she was being a stubborn stupid head.

Also anytime Hope mentions Lizzie and Pretends That it Meant Nothing. LOL.

You're back at school because you're lonely and terrified your Humanity is coming back.

Now your Humanity is trying to kick loose.

ETA: Imagine tho if/when Alaric learns that Lizzie was sire bound to Hope. Knowing what he knows about sire bonds. I want to see Alaric’s expression.

Another middle ground for Hope getting her Humanity back is that it's a culmination of her family and her own damned self clawing back to returning to who she is.

Also, for Doylist reasons, I'm thinking that the reason Hope doesn't want to be anywhere near New Orleans is that she's unconsciously afraid that NOLA is filled with emotional triggers for her.

Plus, NOLA is home to some tough factions around. They might not be as powerful as a Tribrid but as a united community, they've consistently held an Original at bay. It might not be a long time but it's enough time.

Vincent will also not let Hope enter New Orleans without a good old fashion: "You're a punk."

I love Vincent a lot and Hope loves him too, and Hope knows Vincent does not fuck around.

- Oh, Lizzie, NO. The brand will bite you in the ass at the most inopportune moment! They're doing a good job with the balance of Aurora. I can feel sympathetic to her cause but also as The Originals fan, I know Lizzie's not wrong about Tristan. But also, I don't trust Aurora as far as I can throw her.

She has her own agendas and those agendas get people killed.

- Once again this episode proves that the real leader of this Squad now that the golden Trio (Hope, Josie, and Lizzie) are not around nor suited for command is Cleo Sowande.

And she didn't need her inspiration powers to defeat the clown.

- I'm gonna say it: because of constantly watching 4x10 -- I love JEN | Vulcan. Jen is the one who legit wants to be left alone but also funny if Jen's actually the Klaus Mikaelson of her family aka the one who coffins her family for one reason or another.

(Also, isn't there a thing where Vulcan | Haphaestus and Aphrodite are married?)

EDited to ADD: BEE TEE DUBS, look at this expression:

This is Pure Klaus Mikaelson Trademarked Bastard Grin. The Full on Klaus Mikaelson Mischief and Mayhem Package distilled into this expression by one Hope Mikaelson's.

Hope sure is Klaus Mikaelson's daughter!

- Also, LOL Egypt. They're really leaning into the hilarity of Greece, 2000 years ago.

Overall this is a set-up episode, just moving pieces to where it needs to go.

CW Renew Batwoman and Legacies, please.

Edit: BTW Aurora still very much thinks Lizzie is in love with Hope and possibly thought Hope and Lizzie are in a relationship, because of the sire bond.

#tv: legacies #initial reactions #legacies spoilers #hope mikaelson #jed tien #lizzie saltzman #legacies 4x13 #jen | vulcan

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 292: You Say Jeans

Previously on BnHA: Horikoshi was all “well anyway here’s that Touya reveal I foreshadowed like a million years ago, viva la 2020.” Dabi was all “hello world, I’ve killed 30 people and today I’m going to explain to you all why” before he proceeded to explain ABSOLUTELY NOTHING but everyone was so distracted by his tale of child abuse and hero conspiracies that they didn’t much seem to notice. Can’t Ya See-Kun’s Shark Friend was all “IS THIS THE END OF HERO SOCIETY AS WE KNOW IT”, and Horikoshi was all “STAY TUNED”, and then Dabi set himself on fire and leaped off of Machia’s back like the chaotic evil, I-just-bleached-all-my-brain-cells weird little fire man he is, ready to burn everyone to crispy bits before they could even react properly to his whole big revenge speech. Fortunately he did not succeed on account of THE RETURN OF THE JING, THE JOAT, BEST FUCKING JEANIST, back from the dead by popular demand in what critics are calling “the best fucking comeback since Jesus himself.”

Today on BnHA: Best Jeanist snatches up Machia and the rest of the League with his fiber steel cables before you can say “more like BEAST JEANIST amirite.” Dabi gets all worked up and lights Hadou on fire which is a real JERK MOVE, and is all “THIS RIGHT HERE IS ALSO ENDEAVOR’S FAULT”, which, NOT SUPER CONVINCED ON THAT, BUT OKAY. Anyway so then he burns up all the cables holding him which is crazeballs btw, and then he and Shouto start fighting, and so basically the whole thing is a literal hot mess and we’ll see how that goes. Meanwhile Tomura wakes up and summons some Noumus, and poor Jeanist has to deal with those on top of the still-attempting-to-rampage Gigantomachia, and everyone else is all “we can’t help you on account of we’re all half dead”, and so it’s looking really bad. And then -- and I can’t stress enough how much I don’t even have the faintest idea how to segue into this next part -- the chapter ends with Mirio!?! just sort of POPPING UP OUT OF THE GROUND all, “SURPRISE, BITCH”, and it literally was so surprising that I am still just kind of speechless. WELL-PLAYED, I GUESS, lol wtf.

lol okay so the first page in the RHA scan is just the “three musketeers” movie promo image that we all already saw a few days ago. but it does confirm that (a) it is indeed a movie, and (b) that it’s set for a summer 2021 release! how exciting

okay so now back to our special Dabi edition of Making a Murderer

“ray of hope” oh hell yes. SAVE US MR. JEANIST

I guess he had a TV in his private hero jet or something?

gotta say, “dammit Dabi” does not even remotely sound like Authentic Best Jeanist Dialogue to me though. gonna need Caleb to see to this. well but what do you guys think? does Best Jeanist curse?? I personally feel like he’s one of those guys who NEVER EVER swears no matter what, except under the most hilariously trifling circumstances. like he’s eating an avocado one day and he accidentally stains the cuffs of his beloved jostume green and he’s all “FUCK”

btw how fucking rich is Best Jeanist though that he has his own fucking plane? the thought just suddenly occurred to me, you know? like even Endeavor, whose agency has its own on-site luxury apartment suites for all of his interns, still drives around in a dinky little car that Bakugou has declared to be too small. which, I guess we know why he felt that way now, seeing as the guy he previously interned with apparently gets around in Jeans Force One

anyway so back to the part where Jeanist shows up to save the day!! YEAH JEANIST WOOOOO

ILU JEANIST YOU REALLY ARE THE BEST!! HUGS AND KISSES!!!

lmao we just saw Gigantomachia take out like a hundred guys not ten chapters ago. and Best Jeanist shows up and takes him down in like two seconds. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES LEAGUE OF VILLAINS. BET YOU’RE WISHING YOU’D TAKEN HIS QUIRK NOW, AFO. GET FUCKED YOU OLD SPUD

KACCHAN IS SO HAPPY TO SEE HIM AWW

SIDE NOTE, IIDA, YOU AND I ARE GONNA HAVE WORDS LATER ABOUT YOU ACTUALLY AGREEING TO PUT HIM BACK DOWN. YOU DO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS CHILD IS STILL DRIPPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE FROM HIS MULTIPLE STAB WOUNDS, RIGHT? WAY TO ASSERT YOUR AUTHORITY THERE. I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE CLASS PRESIDENT NOT THE CLASS CLOWN, COME ON NOW

LMAO DABI IS FRANTICALLY TRYING TO DO THE PLOT MATH

SHOULDA CHECKED MORE CLOSELY MY GOOD MARK. LOOKS LIKE YOU MISSED THE “MADE IN CHINA” STICKER ON THE BOTTOM. YOU HAVE BEEN BAMBOOZLED. OR ACTUALLY, I GUESS THE MORE ACCURATE WORD HERE IS JAMBOOZLED, AHAHAHAHA. JEANS

HOLY SHIT DABI

I legit almost thought that was Tomura for a second. you two look so alike now with the white hair and the crazy eyes

meanwhile, Shouto is still crying and it’s a lot to take, you guys. lotta feels

ffff come on Jeanist you better do something awesome again here, the mood of the chapter is starting to slip now

YES, GOOD, THAT’LL WORK

WELL YOU TELL ME, SPINNER. I GUESS THAT MEANS BEST JEANIST IS OFFICIALLY THE STRONGEST CHARACTER IN THE SERIES NOW. SORRY I DON’T MAKE THE RULES

ffff now Spinner is trying to wake Tomura back up. nah, how’s about we not do that

OH MY GOD HADOU YESSSS

MY GIRL OUT HERE WITH THE “NO THANK YOU” BOUT TO CURBSTOMP THE BIG BAD WITH HER QUIRK KSFHLKLK WHO HERE HAD “HADOU SAVES THE DAY” ON YOUR WAR ARC BINGO CARDS, YOU LOVE TO SEE IT!!

HEY!!!!

fucking son of a... fffkfkff... someone please reassure me that fire isn’t Hadou’s weakness. someone. anyone. also could someone please dial an ambulance and send them to Horikoshi’s house. but not just yet. first I’m gonna need you to wait about fifteen minutes or so while I take care of some things

well all right then, Dabi. so you wanna go on then and explain to us all how this, too, is somehow Endeavor’s fault?

oh I see, you’ve decided that since he’s responsible for “creating” you, everyone you hurt and kill is in truth really being hurt and killed by him! well now, that sure is convenient as fuck I guess

(ETA: that’s a nice effect with the panel sides getting all warped by Dabi’s quirk though, just noticed that.)

amazing how quickly you used up that sympathy card my guy. Shouto please kick his ass, I’m fucking done lol, you can all sort out the rest in therapy later

CAN SOMEONE PLEASE DIAL BACK DEKU’S EMPATHY STATS JUST A LITTLE BIT, HOLY --

“TODOROKI-KUN IS HURT THE MOST”, HE SAYS, WITH HIS ARM BONES SHATTERED INTO LITTLE TOOTHPICK-SIZED PIECES. I MEAN, HE’S PROBABLY TALKING MORE ABOUT MENTAL ANGUISH GIVEN THE CONTEXT HERE, BUT STILL. THAT’S ENOUGH HEROICS FROM YOU ALREADY FOR ONE DAY

NOOO JEANIST

LOTS OF SMOKE IN THE AIR RIGHT ABOUT NOW AND MY BOY’S STILL DOWN A LUNG. GOD DAMMIT

“if the number one suffers a total loss here, this country will fall to pieces” well okay, real talk though, I think the “country falling to pieces” part is pretty much unavoidable at this juncture. you all are just gonna have to try your best to pick up those pieces after the fact and see what you can do with them. if I were you I’d be less worried about the number one’s reputation and more concerned with the half-dozen child soldier interns who are still on the field and very much at risk of being burned to death should you suffer that “total loss.” please try to keep it together here for them

OH FOR FUCK’S

I really thought RockLockRock was gonna come into play here. USE YOUR QUIRK TO LOCK THE ROPES IN PLACE YOU DIP!! if he seriously just sits there and does nothing when his quirk could be the deciding factor I am cancelling his useless ass cute kid or no cute kid shfkjdls

(ETA: is he even there?? did he and Manual just hightail it out of there?? “well good luck, children.”)

also, we’ll put this aside for now to perhaps speculate about later, but what’s with Tomura remembering his dad’s house yet again in that far right panel?? and being itchy again?? I still have yet to fully work out the psychological mechanisms at work as far as his itchiness goes, so I’ll admit this is intriguing to me. it seemed like it was connected to his decay quirk, but then why is it acting up again now. what is this lol

yuh oh

forgot about these guys. looks like these heroes aren’t having such a fun time

oh fucksticks

excuse me ma’am but I don’t like this. you do know that my kids are all there, right. all burnt and impaled and broken-boned and the like. well except for Iida. he’s fine still. BUT THAT DOESN’T MEAN I FEEL LIKE WATCHING HIM GET TORN APART BY FOUR HIGH ENDS, WTF

HORIKOSHI YOU MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD

god fucking... okay look. Horikoshi. you win, okay!? congratulations, you win, this is your show and we’re all just sitting here at your mercy. fine. go ahead and just kill off everyone ever, then!! what am I even gonna do about it. stop reading?? fuck

this whole thing really went from zero to fucked before I could even blink huh. I really thought this was gonna be a turning point chapter for the heroes. shows what I know I guess??

meanwhile this motherfucker is just SCREAMING

ngl, if I wasn’t currently terrified on account of things suddenly taking such a drastic turn for the worse, this would be the coolest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Jeanist my man, I hype you up like it’s my job because you are the greatest fucking meme character in the history of time, but make no mistake, you are also highkey WORTH ALL THE HYPE AND THEN SOME

seriously, though. don’t fucking mind him you guys, he’s just standing here in the coolest pose of all time taking on Gigantomachia all alone with one fucking lung because the substance pumping through his veins is COLD-BLOODED LIQUID DENIM, and DENIM FEELS NO FEAR

Best Jeanist really needs to get his own theme song. -- oh my god I just finally thought of a title for this post. lmao and it’s the dumbest thing. omg

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKI BROS ARE OFF IN THEIR OWN DRAMATIC LITTLE FIRE WORLD

which one do you think is the Mario and which is the Luigi. well, but I mean, Dabi clearly thinks that he’s the Luigi though and that’s why he’s so mad. nobody wants to be Luigi. what a life

THAT’S IT, SHOUTO!! POINT OUT ALL OF HIS HYPOCRITICAL BULLSHIT, I WANT ANSWERS

JUST TO CLARIFY, IT’S THAT NATSU, NOT SOME OTHER NATSU!! SO WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF!!

OH, WELL IN THAT CASE

BUT OF COURSE. THAT WOULD MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE, holy shit. okay I’m just gonna go ahead and say it, Dabi is a piece of work. I really thought this arc would make him more sympathetic at long last, but it seems like it’s doing just the opposite?? this is like an anti-redemption arc. I don’t relish the thought of venturing into the fandom tags once I finish reading this lol

(ETA: well folks, I’ve done it. and actually it was pretty interesting because there are apparently like ten different things that people are mad about, and so it’s like. each post is a new adventure lmao.)

so Shouto is all “BRUH HAVE YOU COMPLETELY LOST IT” and Dabi is all “YES”, basically? like, he says he’s completely lost his feeling for anything. omg. but you were so sweet. how does that even happen

“finally I can kill you” okay for real what the heck is your damage bro?? can we not. I like Shouto just the way he is, un-killed

oh shit and now the Noumus are here

cue Bakugou diving in to save his mentor, STAB WOUNDS BE DAMNED!! actually it would make more sense for it to be Iida, but if Kacchan is really fixin’ to go full Shounen Dumbass here then he might as well go all out, y’know

-- unless of course, Deku decides to activate another quirk??

“last I checked, the main character of this series was still me” OH? WELL I SUPPOSE THAT IS TRUE, SO PRAY TELL, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT LEFT UP YOUR SLEEVE YOU SUICIDAL BRUSSELS SPROUT

fucking love how he’s all “HAHAHA WITH MY NEW QUIRKS I CAN STILL DO STUPID SHIT EVEN WITH MY ARMS AND LEGS GROUND TO A FINE POWDER” btw. what can I say. Deku gonna Deku

FMMFHDKUHK W H A T

HOLY SHIT. HOLY FUCKING SHIT. WHAT THE WHAT. QUE THE FUCK

(ETA: okay look, all the love in the world to the brave scanlators who take time out of their lives to translate the leaks every week just so we can read the chapter a couple of days early like the addicts we are. that said, translating Mirio’s signature “POWER!!” -- which was already written in English in the original scan -- to “POG-CHAMP” is just a whole new level of wtfuckery from them lmao. is the Lida person back at it again?? amazing.)

MIRIO!?!?! SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY?!?! POGS HIMSELF UP OUT THE GROUND TO BEAT THE NOUMUS LIKE IT AIN’T NO THING. JUST LIKE WE ALL PREDICTED!? I’M SORRY, DID YOU NOT SEE THAT COMING?? YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOUR DAILY HOROSCOPE FROM ASTROLOGY DOT COM DIDN’T HAVE THAT ONE IN THE CARDS?? WAS IT NOT OBVIOUS?? TODOROKIS PLUS BEST JEANIST EQUALS MIRIO??

hot damn. Tintin really saw the writing on the wall with the impending Dabi Discourse and was all “NOT SO FAST” lmao. “HERE’S A BRAND NEW THING FOR YOU ALL TO DISCOURSE ABOUT” MIRIO YOU WILD CHILD. YOU GLORIOUS THUG

MEANWHILE LET’S NOT FORGET WHAT MIRIO HAVING HIS POWERS BACK ACTUALLY IMPLIES. HOLY SHIT. SUDDENLY WE CUT BACK TO ALL MIGHT’S OFFICE, ALL THE WAY BACK AT UA. ERI BRANDISHES HER TOKOYAMI-GIFTED BUSTER SWORD, A DETERMINED GLEAM IN HER EYE. “I HEARD YOU WERE TRYING TO HAVE A GIRL POWER ARC WITHOUT ME.” OH. MY. GOD

#bnha 292 #best jeanist #todoroki touya #dabi #todoroki shouto #midoriya izuku #hadou nejire #toogata mirio #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha

[frostfireft]

Can we have more Bickslow headcannons? And maybe Evergreen, Freed, and Lexus too?

Fuck yeah you can! I’m gonna start with a lot of angst and then move into their dynamics as a team. (this got REALLY long but I’m not sorry)

-I gave you all my HC for Freed’s backstory in my last post and mentioned that Freed is the reason that Bickslow and Evergreen joined the guild, so have both their backstories too! 

-Bickslow grew up in a travelling circus with several other child performers. It wasn’t exactly a nice environment. There were lots of issues and safety hazards and abuse going on behind the scenes, but they were forced to keep smiling and performing through it all. 

-Bickslow was especially targeted by the ringmaster because of his magic allowing him to look into people’s souls. The ringmaster is the one who forced him to wear a helmet when he wasn’t using his ability on the crowd for money. 

-Because of that, he only had five friends back then, all children younger than he was, who looked up to him both for his tricks and the fact that no matter how upset he was, he had a smile for them.

-one day the tent caught fire during a practice. Bickslow was the only one to make it out alive. 

-but considering all the traumatic events they went through, most of the children kept there weren’t able to move on, and their spirits lingered in the area... Except for the five kids who were most fond of Bickslow. They stayed near him and talked to him all the time, especially once they realized he could see them. You still have a soul as a spirit after all. 

-the town he was in began to think he was crazy because he was “talking to the air” all the time, and they would continuously call child services to try and take him to an orphanage. The five spirits however, would warn him before they could, and Bickslow used his years of acrobatics skills to stay away from anyone who tried to move him away from where the circus burned down. It may have been a place of trauma, but there were good memories too, and it’s all he had. 

-So the town tried one last gamble. Who better to adopt a child with mysterious magic that Fairy Tail? 

-And Makarov, in an attempt to get Laxus to be more social, decided to send him and Freed. 

-It went about as well as you’d expect. Laxus tried to fight him while Freed did research on the area and what happened to him. 

-Laxus didn’t have as much control over his magic as he thought he did at that age, and Bickslow was kicking his ass before Freed showed up and trapped him so they could talk.

-Freed shared his story with him and offered the same thing Laxus once offered him: a home. 

-Bickslow cracked soon after that, and told them everything after Freed started asking questions about the town thinking he’s crazy while they were on the train back to magnolia. 

-While many members of Fairy Tail were unnerved by him, those around their age did their best to make him feel at home. Natsu listened to all his stories about the circus and about the five ghosts who followed him, and Bickslow listened to his stories about the dragons. 

-Freed used this time to research Seith magic extensively, and he eventually came across the idea of putting the souls into objects. He and Bickslow worked for weeks to figure out how to do it, and the five spirits became his five main “dolls.” 

-He of course, asked them if they were okay with being alongside him before putting them inside the tiki dolls, and if he cried when they said there was nowhere else they’d rather be? Well Freed and Laxus weren’t going to tell anyone about it. 

-Evergreen was both harder and easier to get back to Fairy Tail. 

-Like Freed, She was once a part of the noble class, but under a name she never wants to use again. 

-When she gained her eye magic, she accidentally turned her mother to stone, and it was all downhill from there. Her father tried to keep her locked in a room, and it worked for a long time. 

-Eventually though, she had decided she’d had enough, and snuck out and ran as far away as she could. She kept a ribbon tied around her eyes any time she had to go into town, and learned how to walk while completely blind. This did some damage to her eyesight after several years of doing it. 

-it felt like it was too good to be true. She was free and she did odd little jobs in a town far from her original home to earn money for food. it was all she needed..... Until a child tore the ribbon from her face. 

-the second she made eye contact, the little boy turned to stone. There was nothing she could do about it except cover her face up again and run. 

-her father, however, had notified several guilds about her disappearance and claimed she was dangerous if left alone, so when stories spread about a homeless child turning a boy to stone, it became their first lead in months. 

-there was a lull in fighting missions at the time, and something about her magic intrigued Freed. It was an eye magic like his and Bickslow’s first magics, and they aren’t exactly common. Freed, Laxus, and Bickslow took it upon themselves to take the mission to bring her home.

-She very quickly figured out how to hide herself in the woods and away from people. Freed had to trap the entire area and make it so that eye magics don’t work within his barriers before they could even get close to her. It took almost a month. 

-And much to their surprise, she was nothing like what they were expecting. After all, they were supposed to be hunting down a nobleman’s son, not a daughter.

-Bickslow almost immediately asks her about why she ran away, and Ever looks up at him- then panics as she slams her eyes shut- but he doesn’t turn to stone because of Freed’s runes, and he explains as such. 

-They have a long conversation about why she ran away, and she tells them everything her father did to her, from being locked in her room to being terrified to tell him she’s his daughter and not his son because of his anger issues.

-They realize then and there they can’t give her back to him, and Freed comes up with the plan to tell him that they didn’t find his son, but rather a random girl with a similar magic, and she can join Fairy Tail instead of staying on the run. 

-The only reason she doesn’t agree immediatly is because of her eye magic. She couldn’t control it, and the idea of turning someone to stone again scared her.

-Freed sent Laxus to buy a pair of glasses without a prescription and a nice dress for her to wear, and he etches runes into the glasses to block her eye magic when they’re on.

-She’s sold from that moment on, and the raijinshuu’s friendship is sealed with that secret. 

-Laxus helps her chose her name before they get onto the train, and they solidify the story before then too  

-Makarov Accepts the story without question, even though they have a sneaking suspicion he knows. 

-They become a tight knit group in no time. 

-Then they learn about Ivan and all he did to Laxus, and they start to jokingly refer to themselves as the Laxus protection squad. It’s a lot less of a joke when Ivan’s actually around though, and the guild definitely notices. Makarov even starts to officially call them that in some reports. 

-No one remembers who suggested the name “raijinshuu,” but they all privately agree it’s dumb. Especially since  it insinuates that Laxus is the team leader. Freed’s the captain of their team for a reason.

-Dispite the fact that Bickslow is the tallest of them, both Laxus and Freed are both physically stronger than him. That’s not to say he isn’t strong, but Laxus can carry freakish amounts of weight due to his slayer biology, and Freed does the same due to his demon biology. 

-Freed can carry all of them at once. No one knows how. 

-Freed puts new runes on Ever’s glasses every time she gets new frames or a new prescription. He knows she doesn’t need it anymore, but she’s always grateful for the option. 

-if they share a bed, Freed and Ever cannot sleep next to each other. Their hair tangles together and they’ve only had to make that mistake once. 

-Ever and Bickslow are not under any circumstances allowed to cook, Freed can make fancy meals, and Laxus makes homemade stuff that would make your mouth water. He also stress bakes in secret at four am. 

-That’s how they always know he’s stressed when he doesn’t tell them. It’s kind of hard to miss 6 batches of cookies that spontaneously appeared overnight

-Freed has an unsharpened rapier that feels like getting hit with a slap bracelet at full speed. Naturally, this is the sword he chases Bickslow with when he pisses him off. 

-Laxus likes to pretend he’s one of the smartest members of the guild, but the raijinshuu knows he’s actually kind of a himbo. 

-Bickslow is really close friends with Loke, and when he noticed the man was dying slowly, the others comforted him despite not knowing what was going on.

-Bickslow often helps ghosts pass on from the mortal plane. 

-Evergreen keeps up with all the latest fashion, but she still considers Freed to be more fashionable. Because of this she always double checks her outfits with him. 

-Evergreen’s always the first to sass someone when they’re being rude to her team. It’s earned her her reputation as a “bitch” but she’s far too proud of it to be offended.

-One Laxus was open about his dragon slayer magic, they pushed him to talk to the other slayers to learn about himself and his magic. Freed and Bickslow pushed the hardest though, since they’re friends with Natsu and knew that he would be all too willing to drag Laxus into his little family of dragon slayers.

-Laxus was much happier oncce he accepted that he was more dragon that human anyways, and the more he learned, the happier he was. 

-In case it wasn’t clear: mtf Trans!Ever (she/her exclusively), he/they Freed, and  wtf is gender, is it a food?” Laxus and Bickslow (any pronouns). 

#fairy tail #fairy tail headcanons #bickslow #evergreen fairy tail #Laxus Dreyar #freed justine #the raijinshuu #trans evergreen #enby Freed #Gender ? Laxus #Gender ? Bickslow #it's kinda angsty #but there's som esoft headcanons at the bottom! #I'll do more soft headcanons if anyone wants them #<3 #frost speaks

[akyrin]

SBI Fic Recs

You'll be Okay Kiddo by StayGoldFics Gen/Ongoing/43k - Hurt/Comfort, Selectively Mute Technoblade and Wilbur, On the run, Homeless Technoblade, Wilbur and Tommy

Summary: After Running away two years ago from yet another crappy home Wilbur, Techno and Tommy find themselves on the streets with no where to go. But hey, at least they have each other.

^ Phil finds a bunch of mute, on-the-run-from-the-foster-system-AND-the-police children in his shed and decides to adopt them. Wilbur, Techno and Tommy trust exactly none of it but Phil keeps proving himself. Basically Phil accepting and being unconditionally loving to three boys who have known nothing but pain for a long time. I love Phil's character in this. He never demands answers from any of them, just offers them a home unconditionally, even with the threat of police. And the boys want nothing more than to accept his kindness and safety but they're just too scared to do so.

One Man's Trash by SilverWing15 T/Ongoing/14k - Superheroes AU, SBI as Villains (they are soft for Tommy though), Hurt/Comfort, Homeless Tommy

Summary: The kid is glaring down at him and eating a partially moldy apple like he’s daring Wilbur to come fight him for it.

“What the fuck?” Wilbur says.

The kid takes a huge chunk out of the apple and definitely doesn't chew it enough before he swallows.

“You got a fucking problem, asshole?”

“I mean...kind of?” Wilbur says.

“There’s a child eating literal garbage in front of me so I feel like that’s a bit concerning.”

“Shouldn’t you be robbing a bank or getting your ass kicked by superheroes?”

“Shouldn’t you be in school?”

The kid snarls wordlessly and chucks an empty carton from some chinese place at him.

“Fuck off man. Forget this dump.”

“What, you know a better one to eat from?”

“I know one that doesn’t have a fucking weirdo supervillain in it!”

The kid slams the lid of the dumpster down.

Rude.

^My current obsession. Focuses on the relationship between Tommy and Wilbur and it's written extremely well. Wilbur is a supervillain who stumbles upon a homeless Tommy and decides to take him in as much as he can. Tommy has extreme trust issues but he's also starved for both touch and affection. Similarly to You'll Be Okay Kiddo, this one has so much yearning. Tommy wants nothing more than to reach out for the warmth Wilbur is offering, but he has been burned too many times. Wilbur wants nothing more than to bundle Tommy up in fluffy blankets, but he knows that one wrong move will send Tommy running (updates daily). Guitar Strings and Keyrings are What it Takes to Build a Home by Anonymous Gen/Completed/63k - Adoption AU, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with Happy Ending Summary: Techno was adopted by Phil when he was 12 years old. He'd been enjoying his morning before Phil came to him asking if he would mind them taking in another kid. Against his better judgement, Techno agrees and ends up with two new foster brothers who he was determined to not get attached to, no matter what.

^Tommy is due to be fostered by Phil and his adopted son Techno, but he refuses to leave the orphanage without his brother Wilbur. Phil decides to take them both. Tommy and Wilbur are terrified, Techno is insecure, they work it out. Love the relationship progression and how the building trust between Techno and the others is written. Responsible Forever by SilverWing15 Gen/Completed/17k - semi-adoption, Raccoon Innit, Hurt/Comfort, Feral Child TommyInnit

Summary: “You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed.”

“So,” Techoblade says, slow and deliberate, his face shows clearly just how unbelievable he finds all of this, “you saw a boy last night, in the middle of the night, living with raccoons and eating our garbage?”

“I know how insane it sounds,” Phil says, “but I know what I saw. We need to help him, who knows how long he’s been out here?”

“Okay,” Wilbur interrupts, “let’s say that raccoon-boy is real. What is it you want us to do? We can’t go searching the woods for specific bunch of raccoons, I don’t know if you’ve noticed Phil but there are a lot of them out there.”

“Going out and hunting him isn’t going to get us anywhere,” Techno says, “we have to let the raccoon-boy come to us. He’s already come once, you know how tenacious raccoons are. If they came to the garbage pit once, they’ll come again. We just have to set a trap.”

“Those raccoons aren’t gonna know what fucking hit them,” Wilbur mutters.

^ Beautifully written fic about Phil and co trying to resocialise a quite literal feral raccoon child. Tommy is scared but painfully slowly learns to trust his new family. The way Tommy is so painfully hesitant but still yearns for the idea of family is both heartbreaking and incredible to read. I'd forgotten people are kind by BialyLis Gen/Ongoing/95k - Adoption AU, Foster Care, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse

Summary: "Wilbur did not look like a "difficult" child. Honestly, he looked like a child struggling to reach his next birthday on his own. In an oversized, faded sweater, with bruises on his forearms, and a still unhealed, split lip, he definitely didn't resemble the little terrorist Phil had carefully guarded all sharp objects from. More like a victim of a natural disaster. As if he had spent hours on the roof escaping a flood, only to be carried away by a tornado. But burying the knives was still a good idea. The kid seemed to trip over while making a sandwich."

^ Phil struggling through the uneasy process of becoming a dad to Wilbur and Techno, who have both been hurt too much for them to trust easily. Still updating hey, hi, hello by ph1sh T/Ongoing/13k - High School/College, Teacher Phil Watson, Students Wilbur, Techno and Tommy, Family Dynamic

Summary: Phil knows he isn't the first teacher to have hopes of changing kids' lives for the better, and he won't be the last. But Oakwood High seems to want to crush those hopes. He's a first year teacher still working on his college degree, he doesn't know how he planned on helping three students when he can barely help himself. or It's Phil's first year teaching and he gets stuck with detention duty. It just so happens that Tommy, Wilbur, and Techno can't stay out of detention. ^ Phil helping the "problem" children that lesser people have already gave up on. I love the way Phil (and the reader) slowly uncovers the backstory of Wilbur, Techno and Tommy. Still ongoing but a lovely read so far.

Change fate by being aggressively kind - or any other fic by sircantus

T/Ongoing/78k - AU - Magic, Phil Being the Best Dad Ever - The Fic, Protective Phil

Summary: “You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings. “He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at. “He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!” “Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.” Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children. Phil has a different plan. (In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world) I think this one speaks for itself. Sircantus is always top notch. If you haven't read this one yet, do it.

#SBI #sleepy bois inc #SBI fic rec #SBI fics #long post #sbi fic rec

[thewriterowl]

Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter, Din with a daughter (Rey) any headcanons dear Owl? 👀👀

LOL yep. Din with a daughter, indeed.

So Din would try his best to not be "that dad" with his daughter. He'll be just as protective over her as he is with Grogu. Most Mandalorian women can kick his ass. Rey will be no different. She will be strong, capable, smart, both Jedi and Mandalorian like her big brother. He is not "that dad".

He's "that dad."

Rey cannot date until she is eighteen, she can't have a boyfriend ever (luckily, she probably is not interested in guys lol), cannot wear revealing outfits, needs to know how to break a person's jaw, throat and groin, should never trust anyone (especially boys), etc.

Luke is just giving him a deadpanned Luke and tells Rey she can date whoever she wants at fourteen, but she needs to introduce them to her fathers. She should feel no pressure to date or do anything or be romantic either. She can ignore her buir about romance for now, he's just being an overprotective idiot. He'll cool down once the twitch passes.

Din dislikes Poe. He's too old for Rey.

Luke has to pinch his ear and drags him away saying they're just friends and to leave their daughter alone.

Din held Rey the most. Luke would have to give his husband a look to say it was his turn to hold the daughter he gave birth to. It finally becomes to the point that Luke has to tell Din he has to let her use her feet so she can learn to walk.

Din counts her fingers and toes every day.

Rey loves her Buir's beard, especially when she is a toddler, so he'd rub it on her belly and she'd squeal and giggle and coo with happiness. Her chubby hands trying to grasp at it.

Her cheeks dimple like Luke's and when she first smiled, showing she inherited Luke's smile, Din probably cried...again.

Her first word was "Bur." Yes, Din was probably near inconsolable after that.

Much like his son, he probably tries to have her do electrical engineering bit too early. She probably tries to chew on wires. But she starts to pick it up really quick later.

Rey, much like her big brother, is an escape artist. The first time he found her out of her crib and hiding under Grogu's bed, playing with toys, he very nearly had a heart-attack.

Din does not sense Rey or Grogu like Luke can. So he is always terrified about where they are and what they're doing. Luke is just calmly drinking hot chocolate, mug floating, reading a Jedi text, knowing the siblings are actually on the ceiling giggling. He just has his own Force extended to catch them when they fall (cause he is almost all powerful and is so strong he is practically there with them as they float--he wants them to get stronger and more confident with the Force).

When Din walks into the room and sees them, he screams.

Neither Luke nor Din are much for fancy clothes (even Luke who wears very nice things but does not have a full closet of it; and its always simple). Rey...she is in the cutest outfits money can buy (Luke does get in on this too). She has an Ewok onesie, big poofy dresses she waddles in, gets her hair done like a princess probably how a crown (really Din? "SHE'S THE KING'S DAUGHTER! SHE NEEDS ONE!"), little Jedi garments, dress-up costumes, etc. She has a winter hat of an Ewok (so teddy bear ears) and her brother has a winter hat of a Loth cat (kitty ears--they fit his own big ears).

Luke and Din nearly keel over from how cute the siblings look when they match like that.

Her and Grogu's shared room is over-flowing with toys. Like, literally...overflowing. They bury themselves in the mountain of stuffed toys often and hide there as their own club houses (daddies aren't allowed unless they have the password...or it's snack time)

Rey starts her Mandalorian and Jedi training at the same time. She picks it up fast. She learns from her Buir on how to use a staff. She loves hitting things with it.

She hit uncle Han on the nose once. Din gave her a chocolate for that.

Rey is very wild. Luke encourages it. Din pleads with her to please stop jumping off buildings because it gives Buir heart-problems. She sometimes looks at him straight in the eyes, grins like the devil she is, and then does it.

Luke talks firmly to her to not scare her Buir. But then gives her a chocolate cause that was rad.

She knows she can ask anything of Din and she'll get it. Luke tries to get her to not abuse her power so much...she is still just far too invested in getting a space-pony and knows if she makes her eyes water her Buir will get it for her.

Luke tells Din to hold strong and learn to say no to his princess from time to time.

Din tries.

Din fails.

Rey curses like Luke. but she gets fluent in Mando'a and learns to say all the words to insult an opponent.

she will come at your face like a spider-monkey. It makes her dads very proud.

Din probably still glares at every boy that comes her way...girls are ok though.

#dinluke #mpreg #inbox

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Skwisgaar's Psychology

After rewatching Metalocalypse a total of three times ever since the news of the potential finale movie I kind of had a realization; I really fucking love Skwisgaar. I also started by halfway through rewatch two realized that his story and background and general psychology is really fucking fascinating to me.

So I am going to do my best to discuss his character and his psychology and how we see him progress through the show....I already did this with Toki a while back and kind of would love to do it with Murderface and maybe Pickles as well, I'd say Nathan, but he's the....least fucked up in a sense.

Skwisgaar let's start has the most dialogue in the first couple of seasons of the show and even then it isn't overwhelming compared to the other members of the band. By season four he speaks very little and rarely.

When we are introduced to him in the beginning of the show he seems to be like the rest of the group; a diva spoiled rich rocker who has been grossly wealthy for so long that he's forgotten how to function as a human.

You also with the first season especially have this running gag that isn't even a running gag that Skwisgaar or Toki will say something weird and then the other will add onto it and they just say weird shit about life and death or the violence of man, it's weird, and strangely endearing.

Which speaking of how those two play off each other brings me to the fact the pilot episode immediately establishes that these two are almost always together. The band goes to a grocery store and everybody splits up, except for Skwisgaar and Toki who go off together when in all reality that isn't remotely necessary. We also learn in that first episode that Skwisgaar gets pissed when Toki teases him and calls him a woman despite Skwisgaar calling him one like a second earlier and also that Skwisgaar is sexually attracted to elderly women.

Two things are heavily associated with Skwisgaar as a character; he is extremely sexually active and he's got his guitar with him in 99% of scenes. Skwisgaar also doesn't appear to be the most talkative, he can be bitchy and throw tantrums like the rest of his bandmates, but also seems to be more prone to crying and becoming anxious or worried for his friends and their wellbeing/safety, in terms of socializing he seems to be a bit awkward and seems the most comfortable communicating through sex and music. He's teasing and can be a dick, but there's no real edge to it. He also while seeming in some regards to be a bit....dumb to be blunt about it seems to actually be rather smart, though often seems to just keep that to himself probably because he knows who his friends are and they aren't prone to listening to people.

Season one wasted no time in introducing the band's parents and this included Skwisgaar's mother, Serveta. One thing that I do find super interesting is that he is the only member of the band who comes from a single mother, technically it isn't interesting, but the theory (probably canon) that their fathers aren't really their fathers at all and that their mothers became pregnant by the Deth Star makes it interesting. To me at least.

With Skwisgaar's mom in regards to the first season of the show we quickly learn that their relationship is strained. She's an older woman who just like Skwisgaar is very sexually active, we see her come onto Nathan's father who is married and sitting with his wife and son, Skwisgaar's reaction to this is to get upset and begin frantically playing his guitar. Skwisgaar spends a good portion of this episode drinking and at one point saying that ever since his mom got there his stomach had been hurting and he'd just been feeling like absolute shit. When we see him bonding with his mom he's brushing her hair and looking like he'd rather be dead or any place else, seeing him helping her groom is weirdly a red flag to me.

We learn by the third season of the show that his mother is intensely vain and in love with herself, she resents Skwisgaar because being pregnant with him and giving birth to him ruined her 'perfect' body and I'm sure the years where he was too young to fend for himself annoyed her because it meant she couldn't party or have men over or run off whenever she wanted, something I get the feeling that changed when he was about ten years of age. In a bonus video that comes with the first season of the show you see interviews with the band on various random topics; one of the scenes that is...uncomfortable to say the least is when family is brought up. Skwisgaar begins to say something, but trails off and becomes visibly upset before saying he's just going to shut down for a while, Toki confesses some more physical abuse before also shutting down.

I'm going to take a guess that Skwisgaar only had his mother when he was growing up and she only had him, I'm sure she has parents and maybe even siblings and aunts and uncles, but it appears that she has absolutely no relationship with them and Skwisgaar most probably never met these people.

The walls of Serveta's home sport dozens of headshots of herself and a couple of pictures of Skwisgaar as a kid thrown up by the front door almost as an after thought. It's likely and most probable that Skwisgaar was thrusted into the position of caretaker and even a husband sort of position when it came to his relationship with his mom; given the task of looking after her, holding her hair back when she pukes after a night of drinking, doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc. We know when he was about ten or thirteen years old he came home from school to find his mom having sex with two men, an event that scared him and led to him being chased by wolves and falling into a pit where if he weren't a demi-god he legit would have died. I feel like his mom reached a point with him where she stopped caring whether or not he saw her....personal life, perceiving him as an adult despite still just being a boy and also seeing him as somebody who is taking up space in her home and preventing her from having fun.

When she marries Tyr they're all over each other constantly....until Skwisgaar and Tyr become friends and begin spending time together, then she cheats on him. She was jealous that her latest man wasn't giving her constant attention and got angry at the concept of sharing him with her own child, which is super fucked up.

Skwisgaar throughout the show has a fake persona. He likes to pretend he in some way is like his mom; he likes to pretend he has his head up his own ass and doesn't need anybody but himself, he loves himself more than he could ever love another person. Which isn't true. At all.

I think that growing up with a narcissistic parent who emotionally neglected and emotionally abused him put him in a position where he had to shut down like that. He had to learn at a very young age that crying and yelling and being angry gets nothing done except maybe piss his mom off more, after finding his guitar he threw himself into music and appeared to shut himself off socially, preferring music over human interactions.

Music is something that Skwisgaar can rely on no matter what happens; he will always have a guitar, he will always be able to create music even if it is just for himself and nobody else. People come and go, people physically hurt you, people emotionally hurt you, or make you feel worthless. When we see the flashback to the night Magnus was kicked out of Dethklok Skwisgaar is faded into the background, almost like a ghost with his slumped shoulders and his hair curtaining his face as if he wants to just disappear. When they're auditioning for a replacement Skwisgaar is positive he doesn't want somebody else in the band, that they are fine just being four.

I think it comes from the fact he was terrified of repeating what just happened with Magnus, finding somebody he might think he can bond with over music only for that person to turn into a monster who makes him feel like he can't even do the thing he loves more than anything correctly....Then Toki came in and when they had their duel it quickly turned from a competition into a conversation. Because that's the one way Skwisgaar knows how to communicate, the way he is the most comfortable with; he likes to communicate through guitar and finding somebody who he could speak to through music excited him.

It's clear for obvious age related reasons that Skwisgaar has/had a care taker role where Toki is concerned. I mean he was about 15/16 when Skwisgaar took him into the band so he was a literal child, even when he's older Skwisgaar still looks out for him and is in his own sense immensely protective where he's concerned. Skwisgaar is also that way with the rest of the band even if it's more subtle. He worries about his bandmates, if they get injured or nearly killed it bothers him and he doesn't want anything to happen to them. When the band is going to break up he completely shuts down, because admit to it or not they had become the only family he ever had. I think Skwisgaar is so hard wired from his childhood to care for people that it's something he can't shake and maybe with the band he doesn't feel its a bad habit, because unlike with his mom, his bandmates arent forcing him to look after them. It's something he does because he wants to do it.

Of course in regards to his attraction to older women that definitely comes from issues relating to his mother....I don't think it's in a creepy Freud way, but more so just wanting to feel cared for back. Very obviously he can't exactly approach any of his bandmates and ask for a hug....well except maybe Toki and Pickles if he's super drunk or high, but outside of those two instances....they aren't people he could exactly just ask for validation or comfort or consolation. They aren't....good with that shit. Older women though usually have a tendency to be coddling and kind, Skwisgaar probably learned that as a teen or in his twenties, I think it's less about the sex factor and just feeling important. In terms of sex with people closer to him in age (I will die on the hill that he's bisexual, because he keeps just throwing it out there that he would blow a guy and he had multiple three ways with Melmord) I think it's a distraction for the most part, he uses sex the same way he often uses music, and honestly....He grew up seeing his mother have men over constantly.

Skwisgaar didn't grow up seeing love or healthy relationships, he saw his mom parade various men through the house and maybe she kept some of them for a while and I doubt the relationships were healthy and I'm sure he knew that his mother didn't love any man she dated or married for a short while. Even in the show he isn't fond of love or marriage, the only time he dates somebody is when he moves back to Sweden and finally starts to get his life together in a more healthy sense and that relationship didn't feel like it was based on sex. It was based on physical and emotional affection and it was the only time Skwisgaar ever looked actually happy in terms of intimacy.

Sex is a job, a chore for him; he's the God of Life so it's technically what....it's y'know his thing, creating life. As a lot of people notice....he seems far more sexually active after him and Toki's second fight in regards to music and petty bull shit. Season four is essentially the season where Salacia gets what he wanted aka the band tearing itself apart and you can see them all fall apart individually. For Skwisgaar falling apart means closing himself off, throwing himself more into his guitar and more into sex. He becomes more of a tool and an object as if that's all he wants to be, because being a person who opens yourself up and lets people in and tries to care about people ends up with you being hurt, badly.

Which does bring things back to his super complicated slightly homoerotic to the point even the show had to mention it for a hot second relationship with Toki.

We can gather from Doomstar that Toki was far more into music when he first joined Dethklok which I think worked out great for Skwisgaar, because as I said before; Skwisgaar communicates through music and this gave him somebody that he could talk to without the awkwardness of verbally conversing.

Though that changed clearly and you can feel that Skwisgaar is bothered by it, like in some weird way it feels like a minor betrayal. Toki notoriously never practices or puts in a lot of effort in terms of making music which Skwisgaar often comments on, complains about, or gets on him about. Reasonable. Guitar is part of who he is, but at the end of the day a talent that made him rich, that's what it is to Toki.....Skwisgaar on the other hand his guitar is literally an extension of himself and seeing him without a guitar in his hand for longer than a single scene gets weird.

Still despite the two of them losing the art of communicating through their music....they're close. Super fucking close. If you watch Metalocalypse and tell yourself going into the show that you're going to focus heavily on a single character or on a certain relationship you notice a ton of shit. Like you notice that Toki and Skwisgaar almost always sit together, stand together, talk over one another, finish each others weird sentences or ideas, copy each other to the point they spend an entire episode bickering like children over copying each other, and often spend their time hanging out together. Again. They're really close as if they're a single person split into two.

They're close to the point that inverse their fans just to some extent assume the two of them are fucking and madly in love and I mean I'm gonna be honest just objectively speaking here I would not be surprised to find out they have had sex before at least once or more times. Just saying.

That aside though and just sticking to the platonic here....They're close, Toki means as much to Skwisgaar as guitar does, and that's saying a lot. One big reason I want to bring up their relationship is that his relationship with Toki brings to light Skwisgaar's issues with death or more specifically death where Toki is concerned.

In season one when Toki has a bit of a breakdown and Pickles suggest they kill him, Skwisgaar looks tense and uncomfortable and says that he doesn't like the idea because it's a lot and it makes him feel not so good. In a deleted scene where the band watch Nascar together Pickles ask Toki and Skwisgaar if they were supposed to be dead or in jail or something because it's the same episode where they got shit faced and got into a high speed chase. Skwisgaar when responding about it changes the word dead/death out for sleep, stating they were supposed to be put to sleep but just had to do community service instead (Toki corrects that it was jail, not being put to sleep). In the deleted IKEA scene when Toki stressed says maybe the two of them should just kill themselves Skwisgaar immediately freaks out and later when they return to Nathan and Murderface they both look super emotionally fucked up and when Nathan ask if they had been crying Toki gets defensive and says no while Skwisgaar beginning to cry again says they had been crying. Then of course after Toki ruins Skwisgaar's reputation and becomes Magnus Jr. for a few weeks and ends up having a panic attack and making an ass of himself....Skwisgaar thinks he's having a heart attack and freaks the fuck out terrified that he's dying.

Then finally for a compilation of Skwisgaar not handling Toki dying well; in Doomstar before they go in to save Toki Skwisgaar makes the sorrowful comment that sometimes he wonders if they should have stayed a one guitar band. It isn't him being a dick, he isn't saying this isn't worth it. He's saying essentially that Toki was stabbed, kidnapped and possibly murdered and it's completely his fault; if he hadn't taken Toki in then none of this would have happened. Which immediately leads me to believe that post the funeral episode that Skwisgaar spent those months high and drunk and late at night blaming himself for Toki being taken/murdered. That's a lot of blame to put onto yourself and to say its your fault solely because a few years ago you took this kid in off the streets is honestly heart breaking.

Early on in the series there's an episode where Toki's pissed that he isn't seen as Skwisgaar's musical equal, he wants solos, and Skwisgaar turns him down. Which through the series and within that episode itself we easily learn why Skwisgaar never gives him a solo; Toki has performance anxiety and he never practices and quite honestly knows almost nothing about guitar. It's valid. Either way in this particular episode Toki gets pissed and decides he wants to take lessons, Skwisgaar offers and Toki turns him down because last time they tried...he kind of just ended up beating the shit out of Skwisgaar. (to be fair don't dump a bucket of blood on your friend's head) So he goes off and finds an elderly man to teach him how to play guitar, Murderface being a dick decides to tell Skwisgaar that Toki is super good at guitar now and.....Skwisgaar doesn't react well. He gets pissed off and has nightmares about Toki becoming better than him. He even confronts Toki and his guitar teacher and threatens to kick him out of the band. When he realizes at the end of the episode that Toki is still....really not great with music....he's chill again, everything is forgiven.

I kind of think that episode is a reason people perceived Skwisgaar as a dick or is one reason, but honestly he isn't being a dick. I mean sure, a bit, but they're all dicks. The thing is guitar is a crutch for Skwisgaar, it is super important to him and he doesn't know who he is without his guitar, without his music. So somebody else threatening to take that from him freaks him out and he reacts poorly to it.

Then we get to near the end of the show when the same issue arises except completely different. Toki again later in the series ask Skwisgaar for a solo and Skwisgaar annoyed refuses him, Toki being the mild psycho shit that he is decides to just kind of ruin his life as revenge. Again by this point in the show its kind of obvious if you actually pay attention at all that Skwisgaar keeps telling him he can't have solos because Toki never fucking practices and even in the studio Skwisgaar has to record most of the rhythm guitar parts. He's also known since Toki's audition that the kid is prone to choking up and making mistakes, so he's technically protecting him without just outright confronting him.

Toki writes a book calling out Skwisgaar as an abusive tyrant and an over dramatic bitch. Admittedly Skwisgaar is a slight diva and just like the rest of them can be a total asshole, admittedly to a lesser degree than the others. What's really fucking interesting for me personally about this episode is that Skwisgaar is catatonic and depressed for 99% of it. He doesn't speak. This starts literally the second that Toki releases his book saying that Skwisgaar abuses him, this is before Skwisgaar's career goes down the toilet, his career hadn't been impacted by this yet.

Skwisgaar falls to pieces because Toki, Toki who he's known since he was just sixteen and took in off the streets and they're always practically attached at the hip and have been since day one just released a book calling him an abusive monster.

I do have a feeling one reason this fucked him up is because he might be terrified that he's turning into Magnus without realizing it, that perhaps he has become an abusive monster and has been making Toki feel the way that Magnus made him feel towards the end of his time in Dethklok. I think there also is probably something soul crushing about the person you love platonically or otherwise referring to you very publicly as abusive. Of course all of this worsens when Skwisgaar's career begins to fall to shit, eventually towards the end when Toki is at the top of his ego trip being a prick Skwisgaar does confront him, that in itself is interesting.

Skwisgaar goes in way calmer than I would be in that situation, sure he gets pissed off as they bicker, but again he's waaayyyy fucking calmer than anybody else would be especially since Toki just yells at him through the entire conversation. Of course interestingly is that Toki perceives Skwisgaar in a way that isn't entirely true, he thinks Skwisgaar mocks him and thinks of him as nothing which isn't true at all, when he says Skwisgaar laughed at him he just responds that he never did that and he sounds slightly hurt by that. They're both hurt and none of these men are good with healthy emotions. Skwisgaar never loses his shit on him in the entire conversation, he looks like he could easily go ape shit but instead warns him that the audience will eat him alive the second he fucks up.

Which turns out to be true, Toki fucks up and people begin turning against him which leads to him having a severe panic attack. Like I mentioned before Skwisgaar thinks he's dying and tries to save him, scared out of his fucking mind at the concept of Toki dying. Which....the dude just spent several weeks treating you like garbage and calling you a monster who abuses him, if Skwisgaar was actually a shitty person then he would have laughed at him or mocked him or given him shit about this moment for years to come....but he doesn't do any of that. He is worried about saving him, probably terrified that if Toki dies then their last conversation was a fight.

Their dynamic changes a lot after this, not in a way that's overly obvious unless you watch it closely. They spend a lot less time together and what feels almost out of character initially in Dethcamp is....Skwisgaar easily going along with Murderface and bitching about Toki, because....again can't stress the Scandinavian dudes are always attached at the hip and now suddenly he's easily saying mean shit about Toki. It feels weird until you remember that not long before this they had a massive fight, Toki called him abusive and momentarily ruined his career and most likely afterwards tried to act like nothing happened at all while Skwisgaar probably wasn't capable of doing that.

Occasionally in season four Skwisgaar and Toki will sit together or stand together, still talk or have that physical closeness but it's far between and you see Toki spend a majority of his time with the toxic trio: Murderface, Rockso, and Magnus. Skwisgaar spends his time typically with Murderface and Pickles then near the end spends most of his time with Nathan.

Skwisgaar is a person who grew up in a home lacking affection and love or safety, he didn't grow up with examples of love or healthy relationships and as far as he's concerned relationships are a waste of time and energy because they all end the same.

Of course for as much as he says that, as they all say that....it's bull shit. He cares deeply about his bands and him trying to act near the end like Dethklok was just another gig it isn't, these people are his close friends and his only real family. Seeing Pickles and Nathan fall apart wrecked him and having Toki turn on him so easily gutted him. Skwisgaar is a super emotionally fragile person, he seems absolutely terrified of showing anger or aggression as if it's something he's never been comfortable with or learned when he was young gets you nowhere or perhaps there were men around who were violent and loud and it made him scared to ever be that way. He's the only one of the band we never see really lose his shit or be randomly aggressive and violent, he also strangely enough cries the most out of them canonically. People always make the assumption Toki cries a lot, but like canonically he cries waaayyyy fucking less than Skwisgaar.

I really find Skwisgaar interesting....clearly and this analysis might be a jumbled mess, but there's strangely a lot of things to unpack and things I probably didn't even touch on as much as I could have, because this is already insanely long. I have a deep appreciation of him rewatching this show now that I'm older and far more into analyzing works of fiction.

I hope that this was remotely coherent.

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #character analysis #character psychology

[pan-fangirl-345]

I'm Coming For All His Monsters

Summary: Shinso Hitoshi is determined not to make friends, but you and your friends have different plans, though Mineta seems hellbent on being the worst person in the world.

TW: panic attacks, abuse, homophobia, transphobia, discrimination, Mineta being involved in the last three, Mineta is a general trigger warning because I think the fandom collectively hates him, and I think that's it, but if I missed anything please contact me! I don't want anyone to be uncomfortable or regret clicking on one of my posts by accident!

A/N: Please for the love of all things holy, read the trigger warnings! Sorry I've been so inactive lately, I've been busier than I thought I was going to be! I'll start posting more in the following weeks hopefully!

Mineta was despised by everyone on the U.A. campus. It was a simple fact that was known by anyone who met the short perverted grape rat.

He made the girls feel like objects, and like they had to look over their shoulders every time he walked into a room.

The guys hated him for his disgusting personality and- for most of the boys in 1-A- his homophobic comments.

Mineta was the embodiment of what everyone hated in the world.

"Mineta," you warned, feeling his eyes on you as you strolled into the common room, "if you touch me, I will break your arms, do you understand me?"

Nobody was spared, whether they were female or not.

If it had boobs, Mineta was groping them, even if they were already in a relationship with someone.

Sero and Iida, along with Tokoyami and Shoji, took the brunt of the homophobic slurs (since Mineta had said something to Katsuki, who put him into the hands of Recovery Girl when he said something during training and Shouto had left him frozen for four hours in the woods after Mineta made Izuku cry).

Kaminari was spared some comments, because he played along with Mineta sometimes, and had yet to come out to that one student about being trans (everyone in 1-A had assured Denki that he didn't owe the grape rat anything, and he only had to tell the people he felt comfortable telling).

The newest victim of Mineta, was Shinso Hitoshi, the newest addition to class 1-B (and hopeful Mineta replacement).

Not only was Mineta a perv, homophobic, and transphobic, he was also a huge quirkest.

Hitoshi, after making friends with Denki and Izuku, had been spending a lot of time in the dorms.

You had been fast friends with him also, being an honorary member of the Bakusquad on account of being Eijirou's twin sister and Denki's best female friend.

For the first week or two that you had known Hitoshi, you had been worried that you made him uncomfortable.

Every time you walked into a room, he disappeared, and every time you tried to talk to him, he had avoided eye contact and bolted as soon as he could.

Until one night, when you had gone down to the common room after a nightmare, you had found him on the couch, staring a hole in the wall like it had personally offended him.

"Hey Shinso-san," you murmured, trying to announce your presence to him, but also trying not to wake anyone else up.

You saw no reaction, and called his name again, moving into his line of vision.

He tensed, and winced, at your arrival, and it made you frown.

"Why are you up?" you asked softly.

"Haven't you heard?" he replied playfully. "I'm an insomniac."

"Not after the training we had today you shouldn't be," you told him. "Everyone was so exhausted, short of the building collapsing, I don't think anyone's waking up for a while."

"You're up," he pointed out.

"I guess I'm just built different," you mused, and he chuckled, which made you smile.

"You spend too much time with Kaminari," he said.

You shrugged, sipping your water before you said, "I'm sorry. If I've made you uncomfortable, that was never my intention. I just wanted to be your friend."

Shinso tensed, glancing away from you before he pulled his legs up onto the couch, burying his face in them for a few moments before he reappeared.

"I'm sorry for making you think that you made me uncomfortable. You aren't doing that," he informed you. "I'm just . . . not used to a girl that gives me physical affection so easily. You aren't afraid of me, it's just taking some getting used to."

"Huh?" you asked, sitting on the far end of the couch, just to make sure that he had enough space. You had started to notice that he flinched when you got too close. You had an inkling about why, but you didn't want to assume anything and be wrong about it.

"I . . . I don't know how much Kaminari has told you about how I grew up-"

"Nothing," you interrupted. "Denki doesn't talk about stuff like that, especially if you've asked him not to. He might be dumb sometimes, but he's loyal."

Shinso nodded, stewing for a few quiet minutes before he said, "I wasn't raised in the most . . . stable household ever."

So you were right about your hunch then.

"Did they . . . you don't have to answer this if it makes you uncomfortable, but did they hurt you?" you asked softly.

"I don't remember much about my life before my quirk appeared- just flashes here and there- but they weren't the best parents in the world."

"So that's why you flinch whenever I touch you," you murmured. "I'm so sorry. I should've stopped sooner. I figured that might be the case, but I wasn't sure."

"You don't have to apologize," he said, glancing at you. "I don't mind- when you touch me I mean- it just jumps me when it happens unexpectedly. Especially when people come up behind me."

You nodded, scooting a little closer, turning to face him completely.

"Still, I'm sorry. I know Denki and I are tactile people, and sometimes we do it without thinking, since most of our friends and classmates respond well to it. I should have noticed when you didn't."

"I don't mind when you or Kaminari touch me," he said. "I flinch because it's a natural reaction for me. I really don't mind you or Kaminari touching me. It's pretty much everyone else that's the problem."

"And yet you still kick ass in combat training," you praised, trying to lighten the mood.

Shinso had given you a small smile and a breathy laugh, and you had smiled back at him.

"I'm sorry, I never meant to make you feel like you made me uncomfortable, it's just that girls aren't really my forte. Not like Kaminari anyway."

"Kaminari can dish it out, but he can't take it. And besides, this might be just me, but that kind of flirting doesn't work. Too overused. And the way he says it, well-" you made a face and Shinso laughed. "Thank you for telling me, by the way, about your family. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to tell me."

Shinso nodded, glancing at you.

You couldn't tell in the dark, but you were pretty sure he was blushing.

"So, Shinso-san, what do you say?" you asked, slowly reaching out a hand to him in what you hoped was a non-threatening way. "Wanna be friends?"

He nodded, taking the hand that you held out to him.

That had been the start of your friendship with Hitoshi, but as the months passed, you had realized that you feelings for the insomniac weren't entirely platonic.

But you weren't sure how Shinso felt about dating, and you sure as hell weren't sure how he felt about dating you, so you ignored them as best you could for the time being.

But then Mineta made a dumb move.

It was an unspoken rule that when one of the squads, either the Bakusquad or the Izucrew, was having movie night or a hangout in the common room, Mineta stayed in his room.

But he had come down to the kitchen to get something just in time to see you hug Shinso in welcome.

"Ugh, it's bad enough that he's interacting with us," Mineta groused, drawing attention. "But you guys have to make it worse by letting him into our dorms?"

"Shut up Mineta," you growled. "I would choose Hitoshi to hang out with 100 times out of 10 instead of you. Go be an ass in your room or better yet, throw yourself out the window."

"At least put this on him," Mineta said, tossing something to Shinso.

He frowned as he tried to figure out what the item is.

You saw him tense as he realized that it was a gag.

You saw red, zeroing in on Mineta as Shinso tensed behind you.

"You slimy son of a bitch," you whispered, hands clenching so hard your fingernails bit into your skin.

Mineta tensed, clearly sensing your rage, and he tensed even further as you slowly raised your hand and pointed it at him.

He goes pale as your quirk takes affect.

Sweat beads on his forehead, and then he started to scream.

Everyone had agreed, silently of course so that Katsuki didn't get offended, that your quirk was the most terrifying.

Being able to dig through someone's mind and implant something close to their greatest fear was something the others had been wary of before they had met you.

You usually hated using your quirk on people, but Mineta was an exception.

Ignoring the sounds of Mineta screaming, you turned your attention back to Hitoshi, who is still staring down at the gag, his hands shaking slightly.

"Hitoshi," you murmured, moving so that he can see you.

You take the gag from his hands, careful not to touch him, handing it to Katsuki, who lights it up like a dry piece of paper.

"Hitoshi," you murmured again. "I need you to blink if you can hear me."

He blinked hard, and he turned his gaze onto you, though it was glassy and terrified.

"Hitoshi, blink if you can talk," you suggested, keeping your voice level, ignoring how Mineta goes quiet in the background.

Hitoshi blinks again.

"What do you need from me?" you asked softly.

The others were clearing out, giving you space, though Denki lingered, ready to jump in too.

"Talk to me," he gasped.

"What do you want me to talk about?" you asked. "I can tell you about my day, or I can tell you about the plot of the last book I read."

"Just talk to me," he gasped.

"Alright Hitoshi," you murmured, releasing your hold on Mineta.

Denki picked the grape rat up by the color of his shirt, leaving the room once he was certain that you had the situation under control.

"Can I touch you?"

Hitoshi thought for a moment before nodding, and you slowly reached out to take his hands, linking your fingers together.

"Okay, you know how I get when I read, so you can imagine how pissed I was when my favorite character was killed off. I mean, I cried, obviously, but I was so pissed! I wanted him to live! So far he's the only good male character! He actually reminds me of you. He's got that 'too cool for you' attitude, but he really is such a sweetheart. I love him, he's such a good character too. Seriously, if he managed to fall into our world and asked me out, I would totally say yes."

Hitoshi laughed tensely, and you ran your thumbs over his knuckles in soothing circles, settling him down on the couch, turning to face him, your hands still holding his.

You attempt to pull them away once, but he tightens his grip and you adjust your grip on his hands.

"Anyway," you continued, spewing about your latest reading spree, holding Hitoshi's hands in yours, sometimes pausing to make sure that he was still okay.

Eventually his shoulders relax and he tips forward into your lap.

"I'm sorry," he murmured, turning his face away from you.

"It's okay Hitoshi," you told him, laying a hand on his shoulder, taking your hand back. "The only person who should be apologizing is Mineta. I can't believe he did that. I knew he was a bastard, but this is a whole new level."

"I never wanted you to see that side of me," he whispered.

"Hitoshi," you said, you tone making him turn to look up at you. "I don't think any less of you because of this. I don't understand everything that you went through, and I don't know your exact experience, but I do understand the feeling. If something ever triggers you like that again I need you to tell me or one of our friends, maybe find a way to remove yourself, alright?"

He nodded, looking a little relieved.

"Hitoshi, do you need to talk about it? You don't have to," you assured him, "but . . . I just want to make sure that you're okay. I have a hunch, but I'm really hoping I'm wrong."

"You probably aren't," he murmured. "My father used to gag me whenever I tried to use my quirk to stop him from hitting me."

"Oh Hitoshi," you whispered, reaching out to touch his face before you remembered and pulled back.

He sat up again, took your hands, and placed them on his face, leaning into them, a small smile spreading across his lips as your thumb caressed across his cheeks.

"You don't have to pity me," he whispered.

"Hitoshi, this isn't pity," you told him, feeling your throat close at the torrent of horrors that flashed through your mind when you thought about what he had gone through. "Yes, I'm sorry that you went through that, and I'm sorry that you didn't have the family that you deserved until later in life, but I know that it helped shape who you are. And I love who you are, okay? If I could go back in time, I would become friends with you sooner so that I could give you all the hugs and safety you needed and deserved, but unfortunately, that's not my quirk. For now, I can try to make up for all the affection that you missed out on as a younger child, and be one of the people that you can count on, even when it's three A.M. and we should both be sleeping."

You leaned your forehead against his, content to just exist in the same space as he was, breathing the same air, hoping that he understood what you were trying to say.

He shuddered under your hands as your words sunk in, but you could tell that this wasn't a bad shudder, and you pressed your hands into his cheeks a little harder so that he knew you weren't going anywhere, but not enough to hurt.

"Are you okay?" you asked softly, opening your eyes to see him already looking at you with those beautiful eyes of his that were too old for the age of his body.

"I think so," he murmured. "Thank you, for sticking up for me."

"Always," you told him fiercely. "No one does something like that to my family. Ever. Especially not him. Do you want me to do anything else? I will break his arms."

Hitoshi shook his head, holding your hands against his face, leaning into their warmth, making your heart melt.

"Will you stay with me?" he asked softly, like he was scared of making you uncomfortable.

"Always, for as long as you need me to," you promised vehemently, kissing the tip of his nose.

As Hitoshi slept on your chest that night, your hands threaded through his hair as you ran your hands through it, you made a promise to yourself.

I'm coming for all the monsters that ever touched him. I'm coming for all the ones who twisted his stars and light into shadows. They tried to turn him into a nightmare, so I am going to be theirs.

#shinso x reader #shinsou x reader #hitoshi x reader #hitoshi shinso x reader #shinsou hitoshi x reader #fluff #tw: abuse #tw: mineta #tw: child abuse #tw: gags #tw: panic attack #tw: transphobia #tw: homophobia #tw: discrimination

[songofclarity]

I must have missed that part where it was someone other than Nie MingJue who let Meng Yao join his Sect? Who stood up to all the people who would insult Meng Yao for his low birth? Who looked Meng Yao in the face and acknowledged him as a capable and intelligent person who deserved opportunities in life? Who wrote a recommendation letter to Meng Yao's dad and Sect Leader to give Meng Yao a fighting chance to get to where he wanted to go? Who became sworn brothers with Meng Yao in an attempt to guide him on the right path and toward his full potential?

These are not the actions of someone who is oblivious to class and social expectations. When Meng Yao served tea at Hejian, when all the other guests in the room snubbed him, when Lan XiChen thanked him and drank from the cup, Lan XiChen was not starting something new. Lan XiChen was adding support to what Nie MingJue was already, publicly doing on Meng Yao’s behalf.

Nie MingJue, as shown at the cave, is not blind to how Meng Yao is treated by others. He absolutely doesn’t tolerate it, but he also doesn’t believe what those people think should matter in the scope of things.

Nie MingJue, "A proper man should carry himself with proud righteousness. There's no need to care for the talk of those idlers." (ERS, ch 48)

No, Nie MingJue is not dismissing what those people were saying. He’s simply pointing out that Meng Yao shouldn’t feel bad about what they are saying because their words do not define him. In a story that warns about the dangers of rumors and mob mentality, Nie MingJue is one of our shining protagonists. He makes decisions for himself and gives opportunities where they are due. No one save Lan XiChen, whom he trusts as a good and honorable person, has any sway over him. Rumors and the power of the mob simply do not work on Nie MingJue, who lives by doing the right thing rather than what is convenient, which is why Jin GuangYao and the Jin Sect find it more convenient to kill him later.

And no, Nie MingJue does not treat Meng Yao like a servant! Nie MingJue has never treated Meng Yao like a servant. Please stop saying that because it’s wrong. It ignores everything we know about Nie MingJue’s character and Meng Yao’s aggressive self-agency policy.

[On] the front lines, one person was used as though there were six; there wasn't any space for maids and servants at all. And so, these everyday trivialities had also been willingly accepted by [Meng Yao], his deputy. (ERS, ch. 48)

Meng Yao was Nie MingJue’s deputy (he became an important person because Nie MingJue saw him as a person first!) and Meng Yao volunteered for his roles. Why? Because he is ambitious and the best place to find opportunities and learn things is to be in the middle of things.

(Nie disciple,) "Resigned your ass. He's put so much energy into this. Don't you see how hard he's working? Everyday he runs around trying to get on everyone's good sides. He's sick for hoping to accomplish something so that his dad accepts him." (ERS, ch. 48)

Meng Yao is smart and opportunistic and he is thriving in the Nie Sect as Nie MingJue’s deputy. With Nie MingJue having acknowledged him, no one dares say a word against him. All they can do is just suffer dehydration and not drink the tea Meng Yao offers them in their silent protest. Lan XiChen is the second pillar holding up this arch and giving Meng Yao room to breath, but the one who gave Meng Yao a place out of the rain was Nie MingJue.

Nie MingJue never sees the detestable and non-empathetic side of Meng Yao until Meng Yao leaves the Nie Sect. Meng Yao murders the Jin disciple, Meng Yao murders the Nie disciples, Meng Yao abuses Nie MingJue in Nightless City, Meng Yao is protecting Xue Yang at the cost of dozens or hundreds of innocent people who don’t want to be murdered by Xue Yang, and Meng Yao insinuates that he’s willing to sacrifice everyone else for his own ambitions before he’ll ever put his own neck on the line.

Nie MingJue’s main dispute with Meng Yao is a moral one first and foremost. He never accuses Meng Yao or Jin GuangYao of being a bad person or one who is nonredeemable. Nie MingJue gives Jin GuangYao opportunities to redeem himself until the utter, bitter end. His dispute is that Meng Yao/Jin GuangYao is killing a lot of people who should not be killed. His dispute is that Meng Yao/Jin GuangYao is sacrificing innocent people for his own political gain.

This is LEAGUES away from the Meng Yao whom Nie MingJue sought after the battle for doing a good job in his duties at protecting the common folk. The problem is that Meng Yao never protected those people because they deserved to be protected. He protected them because he was doing a good job. Within the Nie Sect, protecting people was a job. Within the Jin Sect, killing people is a job. Jin GuangYao is never shown feeling for them in any way -- which is at odds with Nie MingJue, who feels very, very deeply over the murder of his Nie subordinates to the point he’s wiling to commit suicide to give them justice.

Nie MingJue is part of the elite but he also shows, repeatedly, that his role is to protect and defend, not to rule and dominate. (This is a novel-centered rambling but there’s a whole other conversation that needs to be had about CQL, Nie MingJue, and that chair.) The common folk deserve to live and the strong are meant to protect the weak. Meng Yao benefited from Nie MingJue using his status to give Meng Yao a hand-up in the world when no one else would.

Lan XiChen wields his pristine manners to defend Meng Yao to the rudeness in the room, but the only one he’s willing to speak to on Meng Yao’s behalf is Nie MingJue, Lan XiChen’s closest companion. Not even Lan XiChen writes a recommendation on Meng Yao’s behalf for having saved his life. Because it’s always been Nie MingJue, the one willing to forgive and accept and protect, who was Meng Yao and later Jin GuangYao’s greatest ally.

Therefore it comes to reason that if Lan XIChen can reconcile Nie MingJue and Meng Yao, Nie MingJue will continue to do what Lan XiChen, for one reason and another, cannot: tell people to shut the fuck up and think about what they are saying.

It just so happens the one who needs to be told to shut the fuck up and think about what he’s saying, what he’s doing, is actually Jin GuangYao.

Meng Yao joined the Jin sect the first time because Nie MingJue supported him to do so. Meng Yao returned to the Jin sect as a war hero because Nie MingJue supported him to do so -- even though by all rights NIe MingJue should have killed him for what he had done to the Jin disciple and at Nightless City, spy or no spy. Meng Yao was acknowledged by his father in large part because Nie MingJue forgave him for his crimes and offered him another opportunity to succeed at life. There was no way Jin GuangShan could let Nie MingJue and Lan XiChen gain all the glory. It looked bad for Jin GuangShan to continue to pretend that his now war-hero son didn’t exist, thus Jin GuangShan was forced to acknowledge Meng Yao as well despite it being abundantly clear that Jin GuangShan still didn’t want him.

So Meng Yao now Jin GuangYao is where he wants to be. He wants to preserve and use the elitist establishment that Nie MingJue had shoved aside in order to give Jin GuangYao his first chance at opportunity. The entitled system that kicked Meng Yao down the Koi Tower steps was the same system Jin GuangYao was defending when Nie MingJue kicked him down as well.

And the moment Nie MingJue showed he meant to protect and help other pitiful and innocent people from abuses caused by the system that kicked Meng Yao down the stairs that first time, Jin GuangYao murdered him for it.

But just because Jin GuangYao is an ungrateful little shit doesn’t mean what Nie MingJue did or tried to do to help him doesn’t matter or didn’t happen. It just means that Jin GuangYao is an ungrateful little shit. Please stop trying to make Jin GuangYao’s sins a fault in Nie MingJue’s character. Nie MingJue did his best for him, which is why Jin GuangYao lived in fear of him until the very end.

Nie MingJue, "Well you've really discerned where [HuaiSang's] heart lies, haven't you?"

Jin GuangYao smiled, "Of course. Isn't that what I'm the best at? The only person whom I can't discern is you, Brother." (Ch. 49)

Jin GuangYao never did a deed without expecting to gain something from it while Nie MingJue gave and forgave and asked for nothing in return. How terrifying it must have been for Jin GuangYao to be in a debt of kindness that he could never repay with all the acquired riches at his possession.

#i've been doing nothing but hw and studying for 3 weeks and #i get time off at last only to see some unsightly takes for nmj #please stop acting like nmj is oblivious or ignorant #stop pretending that nmj either wasn't kind to jgy #or that his kindness was accidental! #now that this hell post is out of my system #time to go do something fun lol #nie mingjue #jin guangyao #jgy vs nmj #please DNI with shipping on this #mdzs thoughts #mdzs quotes

[yugirl]

Day 11: "Bonding - H2O"

Break out your calculators today and celebrate math and science with our favourite nerd, Daichi/Bastion Misawa!

((whoops wrote a whole episode… tw for hair pulling and verbal abuse))

@gxmonth

Bastion was trying so desperately to lose himself in his piano playing, trying to calm himself, trying to escape the real world. 

He was still shaking. His teacher, Ms Mutou, had duelled Tania to defend him and Jaden, and as a result, she got violently sick. The fact she was pregnant did not help…

While she was being treated, he panicked and left the infirmary and escaped to the music room. He was hoping his piano playing would provide some form of comfort when his anxiety was giving him hell.

Great job, Bastion! You did it again!

Ms Mutou and her baby are going to die, and it's your fault

Murderer!

It's your fault. It's your fault. IT'S YOUR FAULT!!

Bastion slammed his fingers on the piano keys, the discord of the sounds upsetting him more. He just slumped and sobbed.

"Bastion?"

The Ra Yellow student flinched and looked to the doorway, seeing Chazz standing there awkwardly.

"what the heck was that about…? I know you probably feel guilty because Tania manipulated you, but… did you really need to run off like that?"

"Go away, Chazz!" Bastion sobbed, "You wouldn't understand!"

"Hey…" Chazz said quietly. "what's going on…."

"I… it… it's about mother…."

"What… what does have to do with Ms Mutou?" Chazz asked, not getting it at all.

"M… my mother died when she had me… I was born via emergency c-section after… My father hates me for it… he says it's my fault."

"wait… is THAT why he stole the piano and sold it to the academy!?" Chazz sputtered. He remembered Bastion mentioning it in the past. 

Bastion's father had sold his wife, Bastion's late mother's, piano when Bastion was in middle school. He didn't believe Bastion deserved to look at it, let alone play it. But as Bastion said, the joke was on him as now it was at the Academy, and Bastion could now play it every day.

"and now Ms Mutou is going to die because of me too!" He sobbed

"Hey! hey! Hey!" Chazz snapped and grabbed Bastion by the shoulders. "Shut. Up. This is not your fault!"

"B-But i-if I didn't lose to Tania-"

"Ms Mutou is going to be fine! You know how pushy and stubborn she is!" Chazz assured. "It's not your fault… What happened to your mom wasn't your fault either…."

Bastion sniffled. He wasn't convinced but nodded.

"Ah… so here it is…."

Bastion froze, paralysed with fear. Chazz had never seen him this terrified before.

He slowly turned around to see a tall man in a black suit, buttoned tight. Well kept brown hair and a pair of YSL glasses sitting meticulously on his nose.

"Father…"

THAT was Bastion's dad!? Chazz was shaken. The man radiated an ice coldness and had a piercing stare.

Bastion stood up. "Father, why are you here."

"I came to collect Rosalie's Piano."

"B-but it's the Academy's now! besides, you have no right to it since YOU sold it in the first place!" Chazz piped up

"Don't talk about things you don't understand, boy… "Bastion's father said coldly. "This murderer doesn't have the right to be near it!"

"No, Chazz is right!" 

The older man was taken aback. "You dare talk back to me, boy?!" "Yes, actually I do!" Bastion retorted, "You can't just repurchase it just because you don't want me to have it!! it's inconsiderate to the other students of the school!"

"Oh, I made sure to pay the school handsomely for it!" His father assured.

"I… I WON'T LET YOU HAVE IT!!" Bastion shouted only to have his hair grabbed by his father, which he proceeded to shake from side to side violently

"Don't you dare raise my voice at me, you inconsiderate ingrate!!"

"Let go of him, you asshole!!" Chazz snapped, trying to pry Mr Misawa's fingers off.

Chancellor Shepherd entered the room and was understandably shocked at the display.

"Mr Misawa! What is the meaning of this!?" he gasped.

Chazz finally managed to pry Bastion free, and both pulled away, huffing with relief it was over. Bastion hurriedly fixed his hair and gave Chazz a quick "thanks…."

Chazz nodded back in response before glaring at the man before them. "Like we said, you can't have it!"

"You're not getting mother's Piano…." Bastion said firmly. "I won't let you!!"

Chancellor Shepherd seemed concerned. After Mr Misawa's actions, he wasn't exactly keen to do business with him. But on the other hand, the funding would be helpful in the long run…. But clearly, this piano meant a lot to these two students, and they were helping him protect the world from the shadow riders.

There was only one way to settle it.

"Both of you clearly want the piano as it has significant sentimental value to both of you… so I suggest we follow Duel Academy's protocol and duel for it…."

"Fine by me! I'll face you, and I'll make sure mother's piano stays with me!"

Daiki Misawa stared down at his son, uttering nothing more than a "very well."

Jade, Syrus, Alexis and the others heard the news that Bastion was duelling. However, they were not aware of who he was duelling and why.

Bastion picked out his element dragon deck and turned to look at his father. "Let's duel."

"Indeed"

Jaden noticed Chazz standing stiffly, watching the duel intensely.

"Hey, Chazz! What's going on? who's duelling Bastion?"

"That creep over there? That's Bastion's old man," Chazz said coldly.

"His dad? but why?" Syrus asked, confused.

"He's trying to buy the piano in the music room. Bastion's the only thing standing in his way of getting it."

Chumley didn't follow "Why would Bastion and his dad duel for a piano?"

Alexis' brows furrowed. She knew why. "The piano belonged to Bastion's late mother… it means everything to him."

She understood perfectly, her mother's scarf holding the same significance. 

Jaden started to get angry. How could Bastion's father do this?! that was just cruel…

"KICK HIS ASS BASTION!!"

The others immediately hushed him, but Bastion instead looked at Jaden and nodded, determined.

The duel began similarly to Bastion's duel against Chazz earlier in the year when Chazz was an arrogant Obelisk Blue student. Fortunately for Bastion, his father made the same moves, and in turn, mistakes as Chazz did back then.

Chazz smirked. If Bastion played his cards right, he would have this in the bag.

Bastion, however, chose to summon his Water Dragon a few moves earlier, commanding an attack against his father's Chithonian Soldier. However, his father played the trap card draining shield, boosting his life points to 3800.

Bastion muttered but set two cards faced down and ended his turn.

that's when Daiki smirked. "I've been waiting for you to play that stupid dragon! I play Eria the Water Charmer in attack mode!"

"Oh no!" Bastion gasped. He wasn't prepared for that. 

"What's going on!?" Syrus squeaked.

"As long as Eria is face-up on the field, Bastion is in big trouble… because now Water Dragon is under his control!!" Alexis explained

"oh no!!"

"Now, Water Dragon! attack!!"

"Not so fast!! I activate the quick play spell super rush headlong to eliminate water dragon!"

"What?!"

Water Dragon was destroyed, and Bastion was spared… but two more monsters remained, and he only had 1000 life points.

"Now I attack with Chithonian solder!"

"I activate my trap card! Magic Cylinder!"

"you…"

Daiki's life points went down to 1800.

"Well, you're out of spell and trap cards now… I attack with Eria!!"

Bastion cried out. He was down to 500 life points with no monsters and no spell cards on the field…

"Don't give up, Bastion!!" Jaden pleaded

"Slacker's right! it ain't over till the last card is played!!" Chazz jumped in.

Bastion knew they were right, but… what hope did he have? his ace monster was destroyed… there was no hope in his deck now, was there?

"I'm sorry, Mother… I wasn't good enough…."

He suddenly heard the sound of someone munching.

"You're not seriously crying over a spilt dragon puddle, are you?"

Bastion blinked and turned to see a small girl munching on a bag of prawn chips. Wait, this wasn't any small girl…

"White Magician Pikeru?"

"You know Water Dragon isn't the only ace monster in your deck, right, loser?" Pikeru scoffed, not at all as cute as her character design. No, this one looked more like a bratty kid. "Or did Mr Prepared for everything forget how prepared he really was!"

"What?… no, your right… there's one more card…."

"Well, go on then, moron!! draw it so we can get this monster out of your life forever!!"

"Right… Chazz and Jaden are right… it's not over until the last card is played!!" Bastion concentrated and drew his last card, just what he needed.

"I activate the magic card, Raging Plasma!!"

"Raging Plasma?!"

"I've never seen Bastion play that card before!" Alexis gasped.

"By sacrificing    my last two Oxygeddons and my Caboneddon, I can summon my second Ace Monster!"

"You have a second ace monster?!"

"That's right, Water Dragon has a sister, don't you know? and she's far less merciful than her brother."

A spark of flame appeared before it raged with great intensity.

"Say hello to Fire Dragon!!"

"Whoah… that heat is intense…." Chumley mumbled.

"Fire Dragon… cool!!" Jaden gasped in awe.

"Fire Dragon! Attack Eria!!"

Daiki fell back, and his life points went down to 0.

Bastion sighed, relieved. It was over. He won.

Jaden and Chazz let out a whoop of delight, ecstatic their friend would be able to keep his mother's piano.

Daiki cursed and got up. "You may keep it now, murderer, but it won't be yours forever… you won't be able to protect it once you graduate."

"That's where you're wrong!"

Chazz stood up, holding a chequebook. "I'll be purchasing the piano. Is this a sufficient amount, Chancellor?"

Chancellor Shepherd looked at the cheque carefully. It wasn't much higher than Mr Misawa's offer. Still, at this point, the chancellor wanted him off the island. "hmmm, yes, Chazz, I'd say it is!"

"Well, there you have it! the piano stays here and when Bastion graduates, it's going with him, so suck it!"

Daiki growled but left after that.

Bastion ran up to Chazz and pulled him into a tight hug.

"Chazz… thank you…."

Chazz blushed, but instead of repelling, he hugged back. "Don't mention it… I know you'd do the same for me…."

"Bastion, that was awesome!!" Jaden shouted, joining in the group hug. "that was your best duel!"

"What are you talking about? He would've lost if I didn't tell him about Fire Dragon!"

"Huh?"

Chazz held back a groan. "Oh no! You got a duel spirit too?"

"You can see her?" Bastion asked, bewildered.

"Sure can!" Jaden chuckled. "Welcome to the club, Bastion!"

"I'm happy the be included!" Bastion smiled.

"Welcome to the family, Pikeru!" Ojama Yellow squawked. 

"Yeah, whatever, weirdo!"

"Oh no, she speaks Chazz!" Jaden laughed.

Bastion smiled. He felt glad he had such a wonderful group of friends and was relieved his mother's piano would stay with him. 

Unbeknownst to the trio, As Bastion played Clair de Lune to celebrate his victory, a fifth spirit watched over them.

She wasn't a duel spirit like Winged Kuriboh, Pikeru or the Ojamas, but a spirit nonetheless. As the trio enjoyed the music, she smiled.

"Bastion… I'm so proud of you… My precious son…."

#gxmonth #gxmonth2021 #bastion misawa #chazz princeton #daichi misawa #jun manjoume #tw hair pulling #tw verbal assault #tw verbal abuse