#And of course I had to weight in

[seagull-scribbles]

Love her even though I’m not supposed to ❤️ she keeps me up

#rottmnt #raphael hamato #casey jones #Cassandra jones #rasey #I don’t ship this version of rasey but I do #they’re lesbians your honour #contemporary style #textures #I love textures #played with some new ones here tooo #messed around with colours and got stuck deciding between these #just really wanted to draw these too because I finally started watching rise properly with my friend after 7 months of saying I would #and the itch was real I HAD to scratch it #we’re halfway through s2 btw #of course we saw s1 case couldn’t lift weights so this would have to be after some rep sessions I think #also Raphs fitting because I have a blood test tomorrow and as she said tests are easy it’s the answers that are hard #anyway shoutout to rena for helping me with the caption #and also to little me who wanted to be the biggest strongest kid and also a little baby who could be carried #both can and will co exist for raph

[thatswhatsushesaid]

okay everyone, you've presumably survived two group projects at mdzs university, you are probably getting passing marks, and the end of the term is in sight. you just have to get through one last project, and then you're home free for the holiday(s) (of your choosing)

so, it's time to decide who you will throw your lot in with one last time:

good luck!!

#real talk if I had to join any of these groups I'd probably drop the course and take up drinking #but if I HAD to join one #i'd probably choose lwj sl & sms #just because the tension will be Real but it won't be quite as cringe-inducing as listening to jin zixun start every team meeting #regaling us with his latest venture capital start-up idea #or carrying the dead weight that will be nhs on any project that doesn't spark joy in his heart #mdzs

[pwurrz]

GASP!!! BABY!!!!!!!

#smuggling desserts into prison for his beloved so he doesn’t lose too much weight #get you a man like yakumo #nu carnival #yakumo ♡ #nu carnival spoilers #do. do you think he knows quincy is also there #do you think he saw him hiding in the back of the cell in the dark #do you think quincy didn’t want yakumo to see him like that or to worry about him #so he was short and cold with yakumo the same way he was with eiden and edmond #but of course this just hurts yakumo and makes him more worried #because quincy’s had bad days but he’s never like this with yakumo #i don’t often think of quincamo angst but when i do!!!

[systemrestart]

"Come on, enable me! Don't you want me to not end up like you? Don't YOU want to not end up like you?"

— Heaven Will Be Mine

#heaven will be mine #hwbm #sorry for the long post i just Had to condense this convo down and share it here #perfect encapsulation of both Saturn and LT's mindsets on 'fighting earth's Gravity' #and of course it carries far more weight (thematically) than just that #one of the best exchanges ive seen so far in the game

[triple1st]

forever thinking about how this is romana's last conversation with the doctor

#* ◦ ❝ « 𝘰𝘰𝘤 . the poster's crusade . #of course in the latter years of her presidency she stumbles upon prior incarnations & alternate doctors from other gallifreys #(though for some reason in dark eyes 1 the lord president is some random time lord & romana isn't mentioned) #it's a premonition of things to come & a testament to romana's will & the values the doctor taught her #that she would never allow herself to be corrupted - not even by pandora nor the power of gallifrey's highest office #she only tires of the possibility #of gallifrey itself #& grows as weary of the time lords as the doctor was & had every right to be #could've been some neat foreshadowing towards romana's darker nature manifesting in an incarnation born for war #but that never came to pass in the audios & very briefly in the EDAs (romana iii is in a total of 3 books) #romana ii harbors enough darkness herself i get chills thinking about her enacting vengeance on the daleks in gallifrey (audio drama) 6 #lalla ward is great in the role truly i understand keeping her for the time war audios it's amazing how her performance evolves #even in neverland/zagreus she is hardly a starry eyed pupil anymore she's grown into a fierce leader #with the weight of the universe on her shoulders #telling rassilon to buzz off as he asks her to abdicate so that he may take over what a queen #what isn't featured here is her complementing leela & telling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship (gay)

[rapidhighway]

I'm so tired of going to stores and everyone I'm with comes out with bags of new clothes and I never buy anything because I look like a balloon in everything and I just end up wearing the same rags every day and every year

#man i lost so much weight last summer and i was so good i was GOOD #and of course i had to gain it all back through the year #i hate this sm #weight mention #💀 #bro i need to do it all again and i know i could but im just so....idk worn out? im just too tired to really try hard #currently trying to just eat less but i fail all the fucking time #TwT

[frogmanfae]

Modern David Jacobs sleeps with a weighted stuffed animal. It probably smells like lavender.

#Sarah made it for him for his birthday one year because he had told her he has trouble sleeping because of his anxiety #and she looked for one that was 1. an animal he liked and 2. was scented because they had discovered aromatherapy worked for David #but she couldn't find one that was both of those things and weighted #so she was like “fine I'll do it myself” #it's Davey's prized possession #he avoids sleep overs because he cant sleep without it and doesn't want anyone to know #Jack turns out to be his college room mate #when he inevitably finds out he suddenly understands why Davey never took up his offer to spend the night #he thinks its the cutest thing ever #he asks Sarah to make him one too #(so Davey is less embarrassed of course) #i like to think Davey's is a tarantula #Jack's is a horse? #or maybe Davey's is an otter and Jack's is a tarantula #either way one of them has a tarantula you can't change my mind #newsies #david jacobs #jack kelly #davey jacobs #modern newsies #david jacobs has anxiety #david jacobs probably has autism #eventually all of their friends have one of their own #sarah makes it into a business #with custom weights and scents #and she has a list of animals she makes but will make others upon request #Davey's is falling apart because Sarah had never made anything like it before his and he's had it for so long #he never washes it because he can't spend a nugbt without it #sarah eventually makes him another one so he has 2 of the same one but he insists on still sleeping eith the first one #someone take away my writing privileges or i will write this (/threat)

[citrlet]

had a trip at the vet with one of my cats and found out they both most likely have feline herpes

#im very emotional about my babies so of course i cried #but im reassured by the vet saying most cats have it and it doesnt really affect them #it feels so good having an answer for it though because we took her to the vet a few weeks ago #and they just gave us some eye drops for a week and then were like 🤷‍♀️ we dont know whats going on #clara had also been throwing up for like a month now but they think shes just been scarfing it down too fast lol #we got auto feeders now so we're hoping that helps and that they lose a little weight theyre pretty chunky haha

[caffeinatedopossum]

I honestly don't think I was capable of fully understanding how dangerous restricting was until after I had been in recovery for like 8 months already. And I sadly really mean that. I worry about you guys :((

#i dont mean this in a condescending way i mean this in a i literally had brain damage from my ed way #if you dont care if you die or not thats one thing. but believe me when i tell you this: #your ed will not kill you fast. it will take 10+ years of physical and psychological torture. and yes i mean torture thats not exaggeratio #and if you decide in ten years that its not worth and you want to recover thats awesome of course #but theres a high likelihood of irreversible damage at that point #it doesnt take a lot to make your body sick #not nearly as much as i think you guys think #the things you're sacrificing are not under your control. you didnt choose to be sick and you do deserve to be helped #we all make it out one way or another #i just hope you guys make it out sooner than i did #because no one deserves that and i mean it. not even me #the things your ed can do to you arent even talked about. not in media not even in a lot of anorexia forums #not even by the doctors that treat them #after a few years of restricting even if you havent lost weight your body is damaged #your brain is damaged. a lot of the damage is reversible but some of it inevitably wont be #idk i know fear mongering isnt going to help any of you #i just get really mad that there arent better resources and treatments for us out there #i may be just one person but i mean this with all of my heart #i hope you find better days and health and carefree mornings and nights without the shroud of obsessive thoughts #and warmth and love and the mental clarity and strength to keep fighting #you all mean so much to me #and this blog will always be a safe space for people struggling with eds wether they want to recover or not #please take care of yourselves

[lonesomedotmp3]

the utter lack of affection or care amongst my extended family is so bleak and miserable

#like I don't get on or chat with fucking any of my english cousins. the few I did #get on well with disappeared from my life out of nowhere because of family drama #the ones left are older than me and they never cared about me lol #and they're all boys which I don't think helped things when we were younger #but that shouldn't matter. I get on with my spanish male cousin fine ! he's lovely! #but the people I'm with every winter and birthday etc are just completely cold and detached #I have no real relationship with any of my uncles or aunts or cousins #it's not like there's even one I can go and talk to while everyone else is ignoring me lol #I've got my brother and that's it and of course he's just a little kid #he's either trying to get attention from the adults or trying to get me to play with him #which is fine. but. ugh. #it's just like I should've had this big network of people who cared about me statistically I should've had at least one family #member who I had some kind of unique or close bond with and I never did I never got it #I grew up with two sisters and I never got it. I think about what it could be like with sisters who gave a shit about me all the time #If I had someone to talk to besides my parents or about my parents it would be such a weight off my back #and all I've got it my brother and he's just too young for me to put any of my life on his shoulders #my biggest fear is that when he hits puberty he'll begin to think I'm embarrassing and stupid and not like me anymore #and then I'll really have nothing

[quiveringdeer]

I traced wade from a clip online so it'd look most correct but free handed the font from the movie font typeface

gonna attempt to transfer to fabric and embroider it-- trynna put block letters onto a curved space is a bitch 😩

#nat creates #now will this get transfered onto fabric in a timely manner #probs not lmao #but at least i have an idea for a next project #and of course i had to make it super fuckin complicated 🫣 #also why is tracing actually so difficult??? #like it looks like crap to me probs cause its hard to compensate for line weight but sheesh #its also a lil tilted but honestly i dunno if i have it in me to care

[spacedlexi]

i may still be recovering from the psychic damage done to me by my high school art teacher but at least it taught me early that art teachers dont always know wtf theyre talking about

#makes navigating college level art courses a little easier and less frightening #esp now that ive had some profs telling me to do things my hs art teacher said were bad #like fanart :') #my 2d prof telling me putting some fanart in my portfolio is good bc it shows i can adapt styles: :0 #still trying to unlearn the 'hyper realism is the be all end all of good art' #my hs art teacher beat all the shapes out of me and like i still love shapes but i dont utilize them like i used to #art profs need to learn how to say 'studying fundamentals will help you become a stronger artist' #without saying 'anything stylized is bad and you should focus on something else' #and i dont even need to tell u that she hated anime but she did and nobody is surprised #led to me having an art crisis and severe burn out but like i said at least i learned all these lessons early #just thinking about this again as im trying to let that more cartoony aspect back into my work #and embracing cleaning my sketches bc line work really just makes my art Lose something (mainly line weight but other aspects as well) #i need to have 234578347 different styles or i'll die #but yeah that hyper realism thing really got to me its been the hardest thing to unlearn #i love my little toons but i cant help but still hear that 'it wont be good/finished until its hyper rendered' devil on my shoulder #making the effort to finally unlearn this stuff this year im kicking it to the curb and embracing having multiple styles #it speaks

[cronagorgonzola]

The biggest difference ive noticed after moving from massachusetts to washington is that the food is way better here. And i dont mean that the cooking is better, i mean all of the food is just. Better. The dairy is higher quality. The produce tastes better. Something about the cooking oil here makes every fried thing ive tried taste so much better than anything ive had before. Ive even been able to try broccoli a couple times, and while i didnt exactly enjoy it, i was able to eat it without my mouth completely rejecting it due to my sensory issues.

I never thought "move to washington" would be such an important step in dealing with my disordered eating but here i am

#.txt #i am still struggling with disordered eating but at least 'all food disgusts me' is a much less common issue #like. back in massachusetts even some of my safe foods were starting to disgust me #to the point that i had convinced myself i just hate eating #of course. sensory issues are not the only factor cobtributing to my disordered eating so #now that i dont always hate eating im gonna have to like. emotionally prepare myself for the consequences of enjoying food #i try not to judge myself for my weight but what can i say. getting skinny was a relief after being bullied for being fat my whole life

[angelsdean]

thoughts based on this anon to @queermania

no but really they should’ve had jack have to kill Michael!dean and not be able to bc despite telling Cas he’d kill dean if it meant saving the world from Michael when it comes down to it he. Can’t :( that’s one of his dads ! And he knows dean wouldn’t fault him for doing it. He’s right when he said it’s what dean would want. Oh self-sacrificing dean. But jack can’t do it, so instead he uses up all his power and burns his soul to expel michael out of dean and kill him. And hey, sacrificing souls for family…that’s something dean understands too. He doesn’t Like it but he gets it. Then later, the parallel to this comes around when dean’s gotta kill soulless!jack but he can’t !!! Jack tells him it’s ok, he understands. Just like dean understood why he needed to be killed as Michael!dean. But that’s his kid!! So he tosses the gun away bc he doesn’t care if jack doesn’t have a soul, he’s still worth saving, still worth loving. He’s still family. And, god, they really do love in similar ways. Anyways dean gets down on the ground in front of kneeling jack and pulls him close, hugs him to his chest and says, “it’s ok, I got you, kid.” And THEN, chuck burns out Jack’s eyes while dean’s holding him, powerless to do anything. And dean shuts his eyes instinctively at the burst of light and he hears Cas’s anguished scream shake the world and he doesn’t want to open his eyes, thinks if he keeps them closed it won’t be real. Anyways, it all could’ve been done SO much better and for maximum grief and despair. Esp during the divorce arc to have them BOTH deeply mourning jack instead of having all of dean’s grief be focused on Mary which, tbh, didn’t really fit.

#sorry but like. yeah Mary’s death affected them but she was already there on borrowed time thru a loophole #she wasn’t *meant* to be there so I think in some ways dean would be like. ok with it #like the universe has righted itself again #of course he’d miss her and feel grief but not to the extent of cutting out jack and Cas #plus lbr he barely had a relationship with Mary. like yea that’s his mom but more in title than anything else #everything he knew abt her was myth #sure he’d mourn the loss of what could’ve been and of getting to know her better #and they were finally getting to a better place w each other #but still imo Mary’s death was blown out of proportion and didn’t hit right narratively #like the weight of it was not felt and did not feel equal to the fall out and aftermath #vic.txt #spn meta #the good spn that lives in my mind

[sysig]

VUXisms (Patreon)

#Doodles #SCII #Helix #ZEX #Or if you prefer my very Normal Collection of ZEX stimming lol #I'm not choosing to read alien behaviours through a neurodivergent lense you can't prove anything #Okay you got me yes I am lol - in conjunction with my ADHD Max HC (which I am only more convinced of lol) I went into this with #Really any kind of self-soothing behaviour fascinates me :D And ZEX definitely needs the soothing ;; #But it's not just the stimming! Though I did keep pretty diligent notes about that lol he's deeply interesting to me! #He's a texture person! Part of that is due to being VUX and having very processed food but if it fits it fits! #I'm also a texture person - again I have too many notes relating to ZEX lol #I also find it charming (or sad - whichever is applicable at the time!) when ZEX eats in ''odd'' ways haha ♪ #Eating without utensils - you can always just wash your hands you do you <3 #The weighted blanket lol so - I had a very normal and measured reaction to ZEX enjoying full-body pressure lol #Solely and purely intellectual! Of course! VUX enjoy swimming! Full-body pressure makes complete sense! #And he's a tactile person on top of that - pressure good for multiple reasons! I really do think he'd sleep better with a weighted blanket ♪ #Back to stimming! I really loved the scene of him opening the water bottle and his therapist being So Impatient with him about it lol #Let him figure it out! He's very intelligent! Very skilled at finding weak points and exploiting them hehe <3 #But then he runs his finger on the lip of the bottle! Wine-glassing it while he talks hehe <3 I love him #Humming!! Another stim I relate to! Not so much now since it was ''encouraged'' out of me so I may be doubly biased towards him using it hee #Too delighted to focus on utensil lessons and yet he's still clever enough to pay attention to multiple things at once hehehe ♫ #And then aside from his actual biggest stim he plays with his hair quite a lot - in various ways and to different ends :D #Running his hands through it to self-soothe or tugging on it to express - I kinda read it as him trying to move his head feelers around haha #Not quite the same but something! #Oh and then his biggest stim - just looking at humans lol it is very dopamine-delivering <3 And he has dopamine now! Very powerful :3c #Hhhhh human chemistry for VUX behaviours <3 It's so interesting to me hehe ♪

[thevaudevillescene]

I was so sure I was going to have nightmares last night but actually I dreamt I was walking into a store with my mom, and we ran into a regular from my job. The regular was like, “What are you up to today?” and I said, with my WHOLE chest (so proud), “I’m shopping with my mommy! 😀” My mom smiled because she never speaks in the rare dreams I have about her, and the regular said, “Oh, that’s nice!” Then she left and we continued into the store and I thought to myself, “Wait, do they know my mom’s dead? Will they think it’s weird I was shopping with her? Oh fuck, my mom’s dead…” And I wanted to look over at my mom, but I stopped myself and said, “If I don’t look, she won’t be gone. She’ll still be there. But I can’t look.” Of course I looked because I’m a dumbass and of course she wasn’t there and it was just me alone in the store.

#the only other dream i remember having last night was i was asking kris statlander if she thought she could lift me with one arm #and she replied ‘all you humans are so easy to throw around; you’re so little’ #which i know i had that dream because one of the last things i was thinking about before i fell asleep was #‘i wonder if megan could still pick me up. i’ve gained weight since she last saw me…what am i saying of course she couldddd- 😴’