”Hi,” a voice says, much closer than he expects. Davey turns to find a woman at his elbow—pretty, with long, tawny hair and big brown eyes—and her smile is sweet and a little shy. “I’m Julia.”
”Uh, hi,” Davey replies, a little confused.
His first thought is that she needs help flagging down the bartender; Davey’s tall and the place is packed, so it’s a reasonable assumption.
Instead, she says, “I don’t usually do this, but, I thought, maybe— And, my friends said I should just be brave and go for it, so, uh, would you be interested in maybe going out sometime? With me?”
”Oh, uh,” Davey rubs a hand over the back of his neck, a little thrown. He scrambles for a good way to turn her down without being mean. “I’m actually not—“
”Dave, did you want any food or just the drink?” Tony asks, tugging at his shirt sleeve to get his attention.
Davey latches onto him like a lifeline.
”I’m here with my boyfriend, Tony,” he lies, throwing an arm around Tony’s shoulders and pulling him in close.
Tony, because he’s the absolute best and Davey’s new favorite person, doesn’t even miss a beat.
“Oh, hey,” he says, curling into Davey’s side. “Sorry, this one’s taken, but believe me, I understand the appeal.”
”Oh my god,” Julia says, looking mortified. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize—“
”No biggie,” Tony says easily. “It happens.”
He turns back to Davey, lifts up on his toes, and presses a chaste kiss to his lips. “Come on, babe,” he says, with a ridiculous eyebrow wriggle. “Help me carry our drinks.”
Julia excuses herself with another flustered apology—Davey almost feels bad, but mostly he’s relieved at how relatively painless the whole exchange was.
“I owe you one,” Davey murmurs to Tony as they escape, heading to their table.
Tony snorts. “Oh, trust me, I’m about to get it back, with interest, in sheer entertainment value.”
“What do you mean?” Davey asks.
“Judging by the look on his face, Jack definitely saw what just went down,” Tony says, oddly vindictive. “And he ate the last of my fucking Froot Loops yesterday, so he deserves what’s coming to him.”
“What’s coming to him?” Davey questions, a little too drunk to follow this new thread of the conversation.
“Don’t worry about it,” Tony says, patting his shoulder. “Here, sit.”
He pushes Davey into the open seat next to Jack—who's watching them with a strange expression, tension pulling at the corners of his mouth.
That tension only grows more pronounced as Tony plops himself into Davey’s lap and makes himself nice and comfortable. Davey just wraps his arms around Tony’s waist, resigned to this becoming A Whole Thing.
”Everyone here owes me money,” Tony announces gleefully to the table at large. “He didn’t even make it five minutes.”
There’s a collective groan.
“Who was it this time?” Specs asks, digging into his pockets for his wallet.
”Girl at the bar,” Tony says, nodding in the right direction. “The one in the green dress.”
The whole group turns to look as one, not even trying to be discreet. Davey resists the urge to sigh.
“She actually seemed normal,” Tony continues, with audible disbelief. Davey wishes he could take offense but, unfortunately, it’s well-warranted. “Cute, too. I wouldn’t’ve chased her off if Dave hadn’t signaled.”
”And where did kissing him factor int’a the equation?” Jack asks, crossing his arms over his chest as he leans back in his chair.
“You kissed Davey?” Albert asks loudly, looking intrigued. He turns to Davey and continues, “You let him kiss you? Don’t’cha know where his mouth has been?”
“Fuck off, Albie, I’m fresh as a fucking daisy—“
“No one should be kissin’ Davey,” Jack insists with a scowl.
“Dave didn’t mind,” Tony says with a smirk. He’s clearly enjoying this way too much. “And anyway, we had’ta sell it.”
“Oh, I bet you fucking did,” Jack mutters under his breath.
“How come Racer gets to mack on Davey?” Albert complains, which tracks—tequila always makes him pouty. “It’s my birthday! If anyone gets to kiss Davey, it should be me.”
“Pretty sure that’s not how that works,” Romeo tells Albert as Jack sputters soundlessly.
“Sure, it does,” Al insists. “Hey, Dave, can I kiss you?”
“No one is kissing Davey!” Jack says. He kind of looks like he’s got a swarm of bees in his mouth, his cheeks flushed and puffed out, his jaw working furiously.
“Uh, not with that fuckin’ attitude,” Albert scoffs, extremely unimpressed. “How ‘bout it, Dave?”
Davey blinks. “Um…”
“No one else is kissing Davey,” Jack orders.
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I watched Scott’s Real Life video first because he and Joel are the main two I watch, which is ironic because of their ongoing in-game feud and very different personalities, video styles, general vibes, etc., but I digress.
My first thought when I saw the title was “Yay, another life series!” My second thought, upon seeing Joel standing in the circle, was “Oh my gosh, Joel, three SMPs at the same time? Why does he do this to himself?” Then, after watching for a bit, I was like, “Okay, never mind, this an April Fools video, still fun though.” And then I proceeded to enjoy the silliness and binge everybody else’s videos.
Let me tell you, watching Martyn’s video before Scar’s and hearing Scar yell that he’d fallen out of his wheelchair, I was really worried, and I immediately searched for Scar’s video to make sure he was okay. I’m glad he’s alright, I bet that was scary.
On another note, do y’all consider Cleo’s win cannon? Cause I do! Go Cleo, she deserved this.
I’m kinda sad it wasn’t Joel or Jimmy though, I got really excited when I realized how well Jimmy was doing. He got, what, 7th place? The canary curse has officially been broken!
This post has gotten way longer than I intended. Oh well.
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