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#Anyway I love y'all so much I am crying y'all are so precious
arcadejohn127-9 · 9 months ago
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Can we get the brothers and undatables being at one of Diavolos parties and a nobles starts telling MC that The brothers and undatables don’t really care about them. They start telling them that they are just Diavolos pawn and Lilliths replacement. BTW I love your writing it’s honestly some of my favorite pieces in the fandom.
Some of-of your f-favourite pieces in the fandom??!! Um Chile anyways- OMG!! Y'all are too sweet to me!!! Thank you so much!
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I'm not going to lie, I got shocked when I saw another requested this as I just finished writing section for this ask but my brain is dumb and really focused on one sentence and read it utterly wrong
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Part 2 - ending
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"ah, so you're the human I've been hearing so much about."
You turned around to see a Noble, you bowed at him with a smile.
"oh- hello, who are you? If the human you've been hearing about is (Y/N) then Yep! That's me!"
"splendid! I'm so glad I finally get to meet you, I've heard so much from Diavolo and news sources, you wouldn't mind humouring me for a dance and talk?"
"it'll be my honour." You took his arm, letting him guide you to the dance floor.
You could feel the brothers eyes on you, watching closely to how you rested your hands on the demons shoulder. All of them slowly stalking as you two danced.
"what is it like being a human in the Devildom?"
"scary...at first but now I feel like it's my home! I really can't imagine being anywhere else."
"free housings, connections to the most powerful beings in this realm and outside, pacts with the the 7 brothers and having them do anything you desire."
"I mean- I guess? It's nothing like that or that I'm using them, it's a long story - I love them all very much."
"you may not be using them but they're definitely using you, we're demons after all and there is nothing more precious to us than a soul likes yours."
You were suddenly pulled through the crowd, his dancing becoming quicker and sharp as if sensing the brothers watching him.
"don't you realize you're just the princes pawn? A small piece of a puzzle of his 'plans' - do you really think a demon of his importance would really care about bringing peace?! It's all but a ruse and you're just helping him fulfil it."
"that's not true! Diavolo is a kind and thoughtful man, he wants peace and I will be a stepping stone for that to happen - after all I am a link to all three realms."
"human with demon pacts and ancestral connections to both the brothers and angels - how is it being the ancestor to Lilith? I heard she was a real doll but such a shame she risked it all for some moral, have they ever compared you two?"
"how do you know about my ancestor? They've- never properly made a comparison and I'm sure they mean it in an affectionate way-!"
"don't you ever feel like a replacement? I heard since the discovery they've treated you even better, that can't be a coincidence."
Your blood went cold as your heart collapsed into your stomach. Your eyes glancing to the brothers In the distance. You knew he wasn't right but apart of you was scared. After all, he knew so much that you didn't think anyone outside of your social circle would know. How did he know all this?
"we went through something really traumatic together, it was bound to make us closer-"
"just admit it, you know you're being use but you just won't accept it because you're scared of facing and truth and being left - is there something unpleasant waiting for you in the human world? Is that why you're so willing to be preyed upon?"
"it's not like that..."
He suddenly dipped you, you clutched to his shoulder as tears glazed your eyes.
"isn't it? Can you confidently say it isn't?"
"yes.." your voice came out shaky and distant, you wanted to be confident but you couldn't.
"they don't care about you, all they want is to use you, make it easier on yourself and leave, run as fast as you can and never come back to the devildom."
Lucifer:
He was the first to reach you after your dance with the Noble
He twirled you so you would face him
"what did he say to you? You're crying."
"it's nothing..."
He opened his mouth to press on but he saw you grit your teeth
Glaring at the dance floor as you two stepped to the music
"If he threatened you then I'll handle him, it's no issue for me to do so."
You just shook your head
"stop being so overprotective, I know you don't actually like having to look after me, just stop forcing yourself."
"That's not true, I look after you because I care about you, it's become more than a duty."
You just clicked your tongue, pushing yourself away from him, disappearing into the crowd
Mammon:
Mammon held your hand, hugging you from behind as you two swayed
"You don't look too happy, are you overwhelmed?"
"I am now that you're here."
Which wasn't a lie, you felt so conflicted and betrayed, having him around just made you want to cry
He frowned, spinning you around
"oi, what's that all about? If I did something you gotta be honest with me,I swear I didn't steal nothing."
"I'd prefer it if you did, then being mad at you wouldn't feel so horrible."
He raised a brow
He was completely confused on why you were acting like this
"Was it that noble guy? Did he say something to you? I swear when I find him-"
You shook your head, moving away from him
"You're not going to do anything, you're a coward - just stop pestering me."
You felt awful but you didn't do anything to fix it, just running away from the shocked demon
Levithan:
"You here to take a break? Join you, I will."
He pointed to the empty spot smiling at himself for his Yoda voice
You wanted to feel bad but right now you were extremely upset
"Yeah, I do, I don't want to be around anyone right now."
"I get that but Lucifer said someone's has to be with you but I don't blame you for not wanting me to do it-"
You snarled
"can you not make this about you?! I just don't wanna deal with anymore demons!"
You shuffled closer into yourself, eyes subconsciously finding the noble you talked to
Levi followed your gaze, his Insecure angst turning into annoyance
"That noble did something....it's okay to speak up, we can go to prince-"
"go away! I don't want to keep hearing you pretend to care about me!"
He was stunned
You suddenly stood up and trudged away from Levi, seeking out the bathroom
Satan:
You ducked away from the crowd of demons
Sticking close to the wall as you clutched your arms
The nobles clawing at your mind as you stared to the side
"Did you enjoy the dancing? You look tired, I know a good hiding spot."
"Where is it?"
"I'll take you there-"
He went to grab your shoulder but you just shrugged him away
Not daring to look at him
"just tell me where it is, I'll get there on my own just fine."
Satan turned his head, trying to get a better look at your expression
But you just stepped away from him
"if you're not going to tell me I'm going to go find it myself-"
He grabbed your wrist, cutting you off
"Was it that noble? What did he say to you?"
His anger flared as he glared at the noble
You Yanked your wrist away, frowning
"wouldn't you like to know?! Just let me- just let me breathe-!"
He paused, inhaling a deep breath
You took that moment to run off, wanting to escape the situation
Asmodeus:
"oh (Y/N)~!! I'm so glad you're finally free, when I saw that guy dancing with you I got so jealous, I thought you were going to give me all your dances?"
He playfully pouted whilst holding your hands
When he saw you weren't smiling his chipper mood immediately dropped
You moved away from him, Unable to pull your thoughts together
"what's wrong..? Did he say something?"
You shook your head
Should you tell him? But what if they treat you different?
What if it really is all a fake?
"I just need to get some air."
"oh! I'll come with you!"
He springed up, grabbing your hand once again
You threw yourself back in panick
"NO-! I mean- no thank you."
You quickly dashed to the nearest balcony ignoring the murmurs in the ballroom
Beezlebub:
You bumped into one of the many buffet tables
Avoiding an active ballroom wasn't easy
"you're not dancing anymore? Want to sit with me?"
You jumped, somehow surprised Beel was at a buffet table
"no....I'm good, I'm going to the dorm."
"Already? Do you need me to walk you home? It's pretty late."
You shook your head
You wanted to chew him out for being so kind of you
Your overwhelming emotions rising as you tried to stay dismissive
"Just tell the Brothers I'm leaving, I think I'm going to head back home."
Beel raised a brow
You looked away from his confused expression
"my real home, I need to leave the Devildom."
"you're upset from your dance with the noble, we can talk about instead of you leaving-"
"I need a break."
You repeated, your voice becoming irritated and cold
You held back your frustration and left the party
Belphegor:
"Are you leaving?"
You yelped, knocking your hand on the main door
You just wanted to slip out of the party but it seems you'd have to confront one of the brothers
Belphegor yawned, rubbing his eye
He was sleeping in the coat closet until you woke him up by your footsteps
"yes- I'm tired of this party."
"I'm tired aswell, let's go together, I'm ready to sleep."
He shuffled out of the closet but you put your hands out Infront of you
"go sleep in the palace, I don't want to be around you or-or any of you-!"
"Was it that noble? I felt jealous when I saw you two dancing together but now it seems I shouldn't of, he said something to you, didn't he? What did he say?"
You didn't even realize he saw you or was awake when that happened
You backed up until you bumped into the door
Belphegor cornered you
Wanting his questions answered but you just shoved him back
"leave me alone-! I know you're just see me as an replacement!"
You slammed the door after you and sprinted back to the dorms
UNDATEABLES↓
Diavolo:
"I see you're expanding your circle, I'm glad- why do you look so upset?"
"it's nothing, my Lord-"
You both stopped
You haven't referred to him like that since the beginning of the exchange program
He leaned down to get a better look at you, eyes darting over the conflicted and slightly Horrified expression
Both of your gazes landed on the noble
"What did he say to you? If he made you uncomfortable or threatened you, I'll deal with this-"
He tried to give you a comforting pat on the shoulder but you pushed your body away
"Quit it! Stop trying to act like you care."
You were sure if people saw your interaction they'd be glaring at you
Thinking of your audacity
But Diavolo was worried about you
He knew that Nobel has hurt you
"I do care for you, we all do - please tell me what happened."
You covered your ears, tears pricking your eyes
You shook your head and ran away
Needing space to figure out your thoughts and your emotions
Barbatos:
You trudged past Everyone, growing irritated with yourself
Were you really going to believe that guy? But it seemed to make sense
If it wasn't right then why did you feel this way?
"here, you look as if you need it."
He hands you a handkerchief
You took it slowly, looking at him with distrust
You frowned as he just smiled at you patiently
"why do you even care? Is it because of the prince?"
"I'm simply helping because I desire to, it seems Someone is causing an issue with you."
"Don't you know everything? You should know exactly what's wrong....you don't have to keep acting all vague in hopes it'll throw me off, I know you all are-"
He tilted his head, eyes squinting with an almost annoyed expression
"nevermind....Just leave me alone."
"I will but it is best to remind you that the Noble you're trusting Is not the type of man you want to be around, he is using you not the other way round."
Your froze
Unsure how to respond, you clutched the handkerchief as you gritted your teeth
You quickly ran off not wanting to confront your emotions
Solomon:
Isn't this Fun? I've even made a few pacts whilst here-"
"why are we even here? Do you ever feel like we're not actually wanted? Just being used?"
Your eyes flickered between Diavolo and the noble
Rubbing your arm as you tried to soothe yourself
Solomon followed your eyes
Clicking his tongue
"I see, that nobles gotten to your head, don't fear my apprentice, I'll fix this."
He rolled up his sleeves but you just grabbed his arm
You felt stupid for thinking you two could be on the same thought process
Was it really just the Nobel Getting to you???
But what you're feeling feels so real and so genuine - this feeling of just being a pawn or a replacement to them
"No...it's silly to think we'd be on the same page, they have much more history with you meanwhile all I have is being their sister's ancestor."
You walked off leaving the wizard to mewl over your words
You didn't stay to find out what would happen now that Solomon knew the gist of what the Nobel said to you
Simeon:
As you charged away from the party you suddenly bumped into Someone
Simeon grabbed your arms as he steadied you
But that's when he noticed your teary eyes
"Oh, what's wrong? You look upset."
"I want to leave this party."
You frowned, holding his arms whilst he held you
You glanced at the demons on the dance floor
"Are you sure? The brothers will be upset with your sudden disappearance-"
You huffed
Pushing yourself away from Simeon as. got ready to just leave by yourself
"if you don't take me back then I'll just go myself."
He was caught off by your sudden change in mood
Realizing something really harsh must of happened he grabbed your hands and wiped under your eye
"Wipe your tears, I'm sure Luke will be thrilled to see you in purgatory hall."
And just like that he walked you out of ball
A few shouts from the brothers rang in your eyes but you just sped up your pace
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jayhopely · 9 days ago
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FUCK it I'm going sappy 😃
THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR 500 FOLLOWERS I ONLY HAVE ONE FUCKING FIC ON MY ACCOUNT BUT IG THAT'S ENOUGH SO THANK YOU ❤ ALL OF YOU 🥰 also it's only been a month wtf I'm crying-
ALSO MY FRIENDS
@park-jimin-isnt-real You are my first moot on here and I remember going ballistic when I got your ask and we started chatting and I was just so thankful that I had a friend 🥺 your daily hobis make my day and I don't lie when I say that you're my daily vitamin D Jay 🥰
@namjooningelsewhere I think we first interacted when I asked if I could beta read War of the Hearts (go read it y'all) and then our friendship grew... I am so fucking thankful to have you here with me, your asks and daily messages make my day and you are always there when I feel down so thank you ilysm Leah 💓💓 if only I had a friend like you irl 😞
@aurorajm Manny, you absolute bitch ilysm, you introduced me to Hoi and that fucking net has been my savior since day one. Whenever I chat with you, I always have a smile on my face cuz you're rude asf and I like that 🥰 so thank you for it 😃🔪 I hate you so much :D
@fluffyydumplings FLUFFY my child 🥺 you're the sweetest non-sweet person, I love chatting with your half-tsundere self everyday, keep sending me more and more reaction memes cuz i love them.. Youre like a spawn of Satan, bratty asf, a badass but youre a cutie patootie also so ily ❤
@mochajoon Ash lil smol bean who's not so smol 🤧 you're an absolute angel and we haven't had the chance to interact much personally, but when we do, I can feel the adrenaline in my blood and your asks (the cats 🥺) they make my day so tysm!!
@jungkooksbroski ELLIE 😄 you sent me a dm on discord, "poly ships u say", and I was like who dat but I realized I actually know you and fuck talking to you has been a ride from talking about mfm to fluffers (eye-) BUT we need to talk more and I hope we get the chance to 🤧
@joyfulhopelox Maria, the only thing I remember doing when we were chatting for Insanity was grinning like a kid who got chocolate cuz your messages were so fucking cute and I felt so giddy 🥰 oml that's embarrassing 🙈 but you've been so nice to me even in the ✨spicayy eggnogs✨ ily already <3
And all the peeps on servers who have been extra extra nice to me and put up with my shit 😬 thank you if you read this,,, at first i wasnt gonna tag cuz my anxiety will go like 'bish wtf are you pinging them unnecessarily' so yeah but then my brain says, Fuck it I'm gonna tag cuz everyone deserves to know they are precious and valuable to me so 👁👄👁
@kookdiaries @sugasbabiie (youre shadowbanned but its alright, tumblr is a b) @hobeemin @ryuflix @taecup-fics @sunshinejunghoseokie @minvrse @hobipaint @hvae @caffekoo @dreamescapeswriting
😳YOURE ALL SO KIND AND PRECIOUS AND NICE AND KIND AND SINCERE AND we dont talk much but i feel so happy for each interaction we've had <33 keep being the amazing peeps you are 🥰🥰
ALSO
There are some readers, whom I'm not sure if I should tag (but im doing it anyway) but they've made my day- from reblogs to comments, I'm so thankful for everything 🤧 @ryumirae , @pb-n-juju @scentedsope @saijoon @3amthoughtsvented, @doublebunv , the strange addiction anon wherever you guys are thank you so much 💖
also this post is long but i said fuck it, lets do it cuz why not teehee :D stay safe everyone!!
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an-adventureland · 7 months ago
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The Promise
Pairing - Bucky Barnes/Desi! Female reader
Warning - Angst, sad ending, more angst
Summary - Bucky Barnes broke one promise that meant the most to Y/N
Word count - 1.5K
A/N - This is my first ever fanfic, I am very anxious so please be gentle with me :) This was created purely to make y'all cry lol. This is a songfic of "Lag ja gale" of Lata Mangeshkar ji. I absolutely adore that song and found it quite fit for this story!!! Also English isn't my first language and there might be grammatical mistakes. Thanks to @soradragon for beta reading this and helping me complete it, you are a blessing. Love you 💙 happy reading folks!
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It was  peaceful in Wakanda, a cool night had taken its place from the hot humid air of the day, the stars were shining bright and serenity hung in the air.  It was impossible to imagine what the next day would have in store for everyone. No one had a clue that tomorrow was the day that would change everyone's lives forever.
There was the sound of soft humming coming from the modest hut which housed the one and only the White Wolf and his lover.
Inside was you, singing songs softly in your mother’s tongue before the two would go to bed for the night. It was a nightly ritual the two of you shared. For Bucky had found your voice so soothing it would chase away the recurring nightmares that would haunt his sleep every night. Bucky Barnes was unable to sleep without his love in his arms, without her angelic voice singing for him, and without her soft hand weaving through his hair. 
You had an awful day today, throughout the day you felt anxious and restless. As if your mind has been screaming at you that something bad was about to transpire. You had no idea what, but it was bad. if there is one thing you hated most, it would be not knowing what will happen next.
You liked being prepared for everything! Your distressed state made you itch for your ma's presence and her wise words. So the next best thing to feel like she was there was to sing your ma's favourite song. It was a song you had  beautiful emotional memories attached to.
Lata ji's masterpiece ‘Lag ja gale’. The song that always left you peaceful.
"What's on your mind, chaand? No cheesy love songs today?" Bucky teased lightly, slightly puzzled by the song choice. Normally, you would sing more happy, sweet love songs when you were in a good mood, not to forget how out of character you acted the entire day. 
"Acha? You said you don't like my cheesy songs na, so I thought today I will comply with your wish and not sing my ‘overly romantic, Shona Babu songs.’”  You shot back, poking your tongue out as not to worry him. Bucky pouted slightly.
"Arre baba okay now don't pout, I was just joking. I will sing the cheesy songs again tomorrow, right now this song just feels right to me.” Hearing that, Bucky mumbled a quiet yes and snuggled deeper into you, holding you tightly and moving his head ever so slightly to listen to your voice.  
Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Jaa Gale Ae Ae… (Embrace me, dear, who knows whether or not this beautiful night will ever come again. Maybe in this life we may or may not meet again)
You remember the first time you met Bucky, in Shuri's lab. You were a   good friend of Shuri. You were a researcher staying in Wakanda with T'challa's permission and eventually befriended the Princess. The two of you loved to talk about anything and nothing. One day Shuri told you about the Winter soldier staying here in Wakanda. You had heard many things about him, but never had you seen him in the flesh. Till you saw him come into the lab, bruised and eyes swiming full of emotions, but the distraught was the most clear in those blue piercing eyes.
It was at that moment that you had decided you would help him, and try to soothe the aches and scars that had been covering his fragile heart. He was put in the cryo soon after your first encounter, but you couldn't help but think about him often.
Ham Ko Mili Hain Aaj Ye, Ghadiyaan Nasib Se
Ji Bhar Ke Dekh Lijiye, Ham Ko Qarib Se
Phir Aap Ke Nasib Men, Ye Baat Ho Na Ho (I have been given today, this time by destiny. To your hearts content see me closely, who knows, if your destiny, may present this situation again.)
Six months later, Bucky came out of the cryo and on his request, was given a small hut away from the palace in the fields. You often saw him, with his tiny herd of goats. You remember how one tiny goat - which Bucky had endearingly called Steve -  was the one who caused you to talk to Bucky. Maybe that's why he was still your favourite goat, afterall he was responsible for giving you the love of your life.
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hasin Raat Ho Na Ho (Maybe, in this life, we may or may not meet again. Embrace me dear for this beautiful night may not come again)
Your phone rang suddenly. Bucky moved his head from your lap as you moved to get the phone, it was your brother who was calling you. It puzzled you, it was nearly midnight in India. "Y/N….jaldi aaja yaha… ma aur papa ki car crash ho gayi...I am so sorry, hum unhe bacha nahi paye." You went numb...The words didn’t make sense, you couldn’t make sense of them... Ma papa? No, no this can't be happening. You...you just talked to your mom a few hours ago! Bucky’s arms wrapped around you, holding you so close. He whispered some words into your ear trying to soothe you. But you couldn’t hear them, your mind just kept repeating your brother’s words inside your head like a mantra. That’s when the tears fell, soaking Bucky’s shirt. You didn’t remember you screamed. 
Paas Aaiye Ki Ham Nahin Aaenge Baar-Baar
Baahen Gale Men Daal Ke Ham Ro Le Zaar-Zaar
Aankhon Se Phir Ye Pyaar Ki Barsaat Ho Na Ho (Come closer to me, as I will not be able to come to you every time. Put your arms around me and let us cry our hearts out. Who knows, if our eyes will ever see these tears of love again.)
You couldn’t imagine what you would be without Bucky, your Bucky. He was your rock, You couldn't live a day without him. From the day you confessed your love for each other till today, not a day has gone where he wasn't showering you with love. Even through all his trauma and pain, he did his absolute best to be there for you, his sweet, sweet Y/N.
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hassin Raat Ho Na Ho
Shaayad Phir Is Janam Men Mulaaqaat Ho Na Ho
Lag Ja Gale Ki Phir Ye Hassin Raat Ho Na Ho (Maybe, in this life, we may or may not meet again. Embrace me dear for this beautiful night may not come again)
Remembering the past left you in an emotional mess, you didn't even realise when the waterworks started.
"Chaand? Hey, no shhh why are you crying? Is everything okay? Talk to me."
"Bucky?"
"Haan chaand?"
"Promise me that you will never leave me." You uttered in a broken whisper
"I promise."
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He broke that promise. Bucky Barnes broke his promise and left his chaand. It happened so fast, the Avengers fighting Thanos, and suddenly everyone turning into dust.
You felt helpless and scared, numb and cold. what was happening? Bucky had told you to not come out of the palace unless told. He didn't want you to be in harm's way. No, his Y/N was too precious, he can't risk it. You reluctantly agreed, but you weren't of much use on the battlefield anyway. You just hoped your love would return to you very soon.
Steve broke the news, and your whole world collapsed in front of your eyes.
"Steve, no..no it can't be... please tell me you are lying. This isn't the time to joke around! Where is he!?" you couldn't help but scream at him. All your dreams, hopes and future with Bucky shattered. He was gone, in just a snap.  It couldn’t be real, this was a sick joke. that had to be it. A sick joke…
But deep inside, you knew it was real. All of it was real. The world around you seemed to crumble, all of it came down, it was as if someone let a glass cup fall and it shattered in a million pieces. Unable to be put back together again…
Now you had no one, no mom and dad, no Bucky...He was your rock wasn't he? He wasn't supposed to go...
After a few days, Steve offered to take you to America with him. The least he could do for his pal was to make sure the girl who had his heart was taken care of. But you couldn't go, it was too painful. Brooklyn will always remind you of Bucky, and you promised him when the time came to go back to his home, you will go together. No, unlike him Y/N L/N knew how to keep her promise.
You went back to India, to start a new life. A miserable one. If only you would have known that the last song you’ve sung to him would come true. 
You never sang your mother's favourite song again
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Tagging - @spiderrpcrker @a-dragon-under-the-stars @lil-stark @jacquessouvenier @soradragon (I hope you won't mind me tagging you!) And I also hope you liked it :))
Translations (please let me know if I forgot to translate something) -
Chaand - Moon (an affectionate term in this context)
Acha - Really (in this context, it can mean many things otherwise)
"Y/N….jaldi aaja yaha… ma aur papa ki car crash ho gayi...I am so sorry, hum unhe bacha nahi paye." - "Y/N please come fast here, mom and dad were in an car crash, I am so sorry but we couldn't save them" (ma = mom, papa = dad)
Haan - yes
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tfw-tajaaa · 4 months ago
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Just Married, Say Congrats!!
</this is for @kitwalker02, i now love them🤚🏼🙄 no but fr, i hope you enjoy this and that i fulfilled your interest!!<3/>
𝐒𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐊𝐢𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐥𝐤𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝, 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲 𝐡𝐮𝐧!!!
Who said weddings were stressful? This was probably one of the most at ease times in your life, although your wedding was small... so maybe that's why-
ANYWHO, i feel as though Kit wouldn't want a big wedding, and would probably skip the whole ceremony going straight to legally getting married so he could hang the document proudly on you guy's living room wall.
But if his precious love of his life wanted a ceremony, then a ceremony there shall be. Just please nothing huge, i feel he would get overwhelmed and then it would be stressful then causing it to feel to him that you care more about how this turns out and what you have than marrying him🥺
If you wanted a ceremony, he would love to be included if you gave him the option between choosing two things. "What about the food, Kit? Whaddya think of like a barbecue or any (traditional food you all may have for weddings) or like... (any traditional food) and you can pick the dessert?".... (he likes dessert, you can't fight me on this, that man has a sweet tooth) BUT PLEASE PLEASE let him choose something
Anyways, after all this, he want nothing more than to see you walk down that aisle (isle?) watching you transition from his girlfriend/boyfriend/partner to wife/husband/significant other. Yes, he would BAWL. Straight up sobbing watching you get to your spot in front of him. (i will be there crying too, don't mind me)
After the priest/pastor/whoever (please im uneducated in how weddings work, i've never been to one, is it obvious?) says you two may kiss, best believe he would kiss you so fast, like im talking full on you dont have time to breathe, he has his hands on your ears, jawline (yall know what kiss im talking about-)
...yes, after the kiss he is still crying, but so am i and so are you.
after this whole part and you walk through your family and friends throwing rice or any kind of traditional thing you all do after a wedding and you two get in the car... HE KISSES YOU AGAIN AND SAYS "Thank you for making this one of the happiest days of my life, I just love you so much and i can't wait to see what the future holds for us darlin'." (my eyes are watering??!!!!?!?!?!)
you obviously say something sweet back bc if you don't, he will be hurt😡
For the honeymoon part, you guys dont go anywhere expensive. You may go back home with take out and before you guys cross the thresholds of your door. You hold eachother's hand and you say "Mr. Walker" and look at him
then he says "Mrs./Mr./Mx. Walker" and then look at you
THEN YALL WALK THROUGH TOGETHER, AND THEN KISS AGAIN. literally the cutest thing ever, do not fight me on this y'all.
Afterwards, spicy things ensue👁👁
YES, YES HE IS THE TYPE TO CONTINUOUSLY CALL YOU Mrs/Mr/Mx Walker during sex. i will fight someone over this KNOWN fact.
The next day, you both recreate your first date but now as a married couple symbolizing a new beginning where the love started.
♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎♡︎
𝐇𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬, 𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐧𝐣𝐨𝐲𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐈 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐩𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐭 𝐝𝐛𝐬𝐣𝐬𝐣𝐬𝐣. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨 @kitwalker02 <33
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megumidulce · 9 months ago
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i may weird some of y'all tf out but uhhh,,
y'all are always talking about Kuroo and Atsumu being great dads to your kids,,, but can those of us with daddy issues and family problems just imagine them being our wholesome dads? like nothing kinky, i just want soft familial love and gentle fatherly advice and stupid, cute nicknames like "honey bun" and "girly" and calls from work and someone to help me with math when i feel like crying and burnt frozen pizza (hah) bc he forgot to check the oven and slipping you a $20 when you go out w/ your friends
Kuroo would be the sweetest dad wtf, you could watch all kinds of shows w/ him and he'd always remember your favorite takeout food and he makes u go to bed on time. never misses a daddy-daughter dance. calls you if you're out past curfew but he's soft on you bc you're precious 2 him
Atsumu would make you cringe so much but he'd lift you up onto his shoulders well into adulthood bc he has a de*th wish for his back. makes so many dad jokes and you're always rolling your eyes, but you secretly love it. he also takes u over to uncle 'Samu’s place and you learn how to cook w/ both of em at your side. yeah very nice
anyway, y'all can run away screaming now, i sure am
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ackermanshoe · 7 months ago
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March comes in like a lion, it's Portrayal of toxic & healthy relationship and how to compares rivamika + Ereh
Que the longest title everr 😌✨
So before I start on the actual analysis, I recently started watching March comes in like a lion instead of doing my assignments and I half way through season 2. For those of you who haven't watched it, it might be a spoilers so beware of that.
In this analysis I'll be comparing the similarities I found between Rei, Hina and Kyoko.
So watching any anime after being do emotionally attached to rivamika it's only natural that I compare them to the characters with even the tiniest bit similarities in their dynamic but Rei and hina's relationship jump in episode 4 of season 2 really caught me off guard and I was like omg?? Rivamika?? How do I make this about them 😩
Anyway so a little background on Rei's relationship with both girls Kyoko and Hina ( Hinata ). Firstly, i subconsciously placed Rei has Mikasa, kyoko has Eren and Hina as Levi, why? You will know on a minute. Rei is a depressed kid who has known only one way of life and that's through shogi games and after his parents death ( cough cough ) he was taken in by a old friend ( I think ) of his dad's who was also obsessed with shogi. Kyoko is the biological daughter of this man who has "adopted" Rei and later on Rei was came to know Hina and her sisters, they were super supportive of him from the start and having lost family members themselves they related to him on a personal level.
So you see why Eren and mikasa's dynamic matches with Rei and Kyoko and not only as "step siblings" it's also the fact that Rei became somewhat obsessed with her through the time he had spent over at their house, it's toxic and it's been showcased that way ever since kyoko was introduced into the series. Rei thought of her when he heard the word "love" and he even admitted to the fact that having her around is toxic and yet he can't push her away. He said he does not want to stop hearing her voice even tho she , herself is in love with a much older man who is married. Everytime she showed up to his bedroom uninvited and slept next to him my mind went "he is in love with her and their relationship is so toxic why does the author keep bringing her into his life?" Or "girl get the fuck away from him".
Without even thinking too much deep into their physical connection I already knew I would be able to related this dynamic to Eren and Mikasa. Although this series gives us much more depth into the main characters views since it's narrated from his own perspective, and the fact that he metaphorically compared his feelings of being lost and sadness helps me as an audience to understand what's happening much much easier than attack on titan. I personally feel like this kind of series are usually short ( idk how long this is) because it feels like the author knows exactly what he is going for, everything is set in stone.
Going back to Rei's ( mikasa's) relationship with kyoko ( Eren ) it's much much clear how toxic it had become for him in more than just one way. And the show isn't denying Rei of his feelings towards Kyoko and it's not even attempting to distant him from her and yet you just knew there had to be someone better right? That's when they introduced Hina and Kyoko in the same episode, meeting each other and a sense of invisible rivalry gushed over them, especially Hina. She is a happy go lucky girl and extremely sensitive to things to the point it kinda annoys me everytime she bursts out crying ( but hey you can't hate a genuinely good character ).
That's where things get interesting for me maybe because I am on that Levi X Mikasa agenda all the time but just like rivamika their relationship has been portrayed as platonic for the longest time in the seaosns. If I didn't go out of way to search up who Rei falls in love with and it didn't say hina's name I probably wouldn't be making this comparison right now because who wants to have their heart broken for the 2nd time in the same fucking month 🙄.
Anyway so in this one episode Hina comes home crying because of bullying issue at school and as she runs off into the dark streets Rei chases her and eventually catching up to her takes her hand and being able to relate to her problems, comparing his younger self to her present Rei reaches out his hand and God fucking damn it he says "you saved my life..I promise I'll stay with you" ofc I'm making this post now you know the real reason 🤡.
The unseen build up that happen between them reminds me of rivamika, the Portrayal of healthy relationship is rivamika. Hina (in our case Levi ) to Rei is the voice of emotion, she speaks out the feelings that Rei has been surpassing all these years inside of him. Just like how we talked about Levi is the voice of reason, while Mikasa has the impulsive urge to act up. Just like how Levi became the perosn who reasonably always took mikasa's side, he gave her personal reasons to take Erens side everytime have an actual meaning towards the scouts / everyone , he then became someone Mikasa was able to object & voice out her opinion towards because she knew that he would response and guide her the right way and finally he became someone she was able to fully trust.
Much like Hina and Rei, when Hina cried out her heart and Rei couldn't help but go back to his past self and imagine Hina coming to him and giving him a hand, being his saviour. It's much like how Levi saw his past self in Mikasa present ( S1 ), Levi gave Mikasa the hand she needed when she didn't know she needed.
Hina despite being much younger than him, was able to make him realise that he too was shutting out his emotions and was able to let himself be free through Hina when she cried, expressing her frustrations and very human like emotions. In the forest of the giant trees when Mikasa and Levi saved Eren for the first time he told her " we got your precious friend, didn't we?" A slight wake up call he had given her for the very first time, an attack on Mikasa's ego and evoking a different emotions within her. Like telling her it's not only about Eren and getting revenge, risking your life so easily, Levi had lost his entire squad in order to protect Eren so now that he is safe they better leave now.
So the question is did Levi and Mikasa save each other?
What can I say that I haven't said already in here about these two?
"you saved my life" Rei says to Hina as he reached out her hand and the beauty of that scene was the fact that it was delicate and soft despite it not being anything romantic. Remind me of that panel of Mikasa touching Levi's shoulder. How ironic is the fact that I'm comparing Hina, a openly emotional character to Levi who is said to be the most emotional inside?
Levi physically saved Mikasa a lot of the time however emotionally Levi saved Mikasa from being selfish and from herself. What if I said and ignoring 139, that Levi was one of of the biggest reasons Mikasa took the initiative and decapitated Eren that day?
Wait why does it feel like I already said it before lol
Through Levi, Mikasa learnt to trust more, learnt that even though they gave difference not only in height, age and in how they treat Eren ( Levi with force and Mikasa with care ), Mikasa still came in terms with Levi and relied on him, shared her burden with him. I think that's the biggest character twist Mikasa had, the fact that she was ready to draw sword at anyone who treated Eren wrong and everyone was scared of her and then came the grumpy shorty who beat her beloved brother right in front of her but eventually he became the biggest form of support she had in the end. I just can not help but laugh at all the unseen development this ship has had and all the implication of Futher interaction after season 3 between them, it's really obvious they had something going on because imagine you don't talk to someone for like 3 years and suddenly when you engage in battle against , paired up with them suddenly you become the strongest duo known to humanity. +?)!#)# make it make sense.
Sooo now you see the that having toxic relationship with a partner is only natural and inevitable but growing from that, opening your eyes to those who actually care there for you is rather healthy. So moral of the story is guys make sure stick with those who tells you to stay with them, the end.
Omg guys this turned out so much longer than I intended, anyway hopefully y'all liked it. I know it's not the strongest comparison or analysis but I feel like I'm running out of words for what I want to say about rivamika it feels like I'm recycling my sentences from previous analysis over and over again because ✨ lack of content ✨ and my inability to think of something new.
Please ignore all my spelling mistakes I have decided to embrace my mistakes instead of fixing them simply because I'm too lazy 😉
💜💜💜
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Hey y'all,
It's my 7th year on AO3 so I decided before the end of the year to post all of MY favorite fics I've written. If you want to check out the rest of my AO3 please click here. Thank you for all of your support over the years!
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In no particular order:
1. Ghetto night in shining armor
Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Posted 6/22/14
My comments now: this is so precious, like Mickey revealing his sexuality and being such a bad ass. People loved this series too much. This is such a fluffy hc that runs into slow burn and that’s why it’s a fave.
2. All that is gold does not glitter
Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Published: 6/14/2014
My comments now: Truly this is the first fic I wrote where someone commented they cried. Then my fiancé was like “I know you too well to be reading this”. There are too many amazing one liners and a perfect portrayal of depression and bipolar disorder, coming from someone who has both of these.
3. I can do bad all by myself
Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Published: 12/26/14
My comments now: truly a perfect portrayal of Mickey having legitimate depression with a self harm problem, and Ian trying to be there for him fully.
4. She Keeps My Heart from Getting Older
Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale
Published: 10/25/2015
My comments now: This is truly precious. I love kid fics and Derek just wants to be a poppa so bad. I also think this is when I first started developing my own headcanons for Laura.
5. Stylin Pallette by Becca Cosmetics
Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale
5/4/2016
My comments now: Truly I would still come back to this series. Everything about this is A+ and iconic. Derek with biracial black daughters? Yes! Makeup artist Stiles? Yes! Derek being flustered by a celebrity? Yes! Giving youtubers credit and allowing little black girls to live their best lives? Yes! The girls wearing bonnets to hotel breakfast… iconic.
6. Merry Christmas Derek
Stiles Stilinski/Derek Hale
11/16/2016
My comments now: The amount of comments people leave saying this made them cry makes me happy in a horrible type of way. Truly Derek has always needed to get his shit together, and good for Stiles for standing up for himself. This is so sad and as much as I want to baby Derek, I wanna slap the shit out of him. Mwah! I love a holiday fic.
7. Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better
Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler
2/12/2018
My comments now: This was my fic for Jancy week and truly it got out of control. I am so gay for NATALIA!!! Anyway, this is some of the best smut I feel like I’ve written. Being sex positive is really important to me and I feel like Nancy encompasses that by also being a sexy badass who wants to show her appreciation to a cutie. Jancy isn’t exactly one of my fave ships anymore but Nancy’s confidence and Jonathan’s insecurity work so well together, especially for this fic.
8. You’re The Missing Piece
Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers/Nancy Wheeler
6/24/2018
My comments now: Stoncy.. a dream truly. Not trying to go back to studying after seeing them having sex I’m screaming!! It’s the underwear being left behind for me. Nancy masturbating multiple times a day every day? Same sis. The car scene.. bro!!! Who wrote this!!! The smut.. too good. Also the fluff at the end.. now that sounds like me lol.
9. No Apologies
Nancy Wheeler/Steve Harrington/Jonathan Byers
4/21/2018
My comments now: Truly probably the most iconic line I’ve ever written: “I am my mother’s daughter.” When she replies to Karen at the end. Before this I don’t think I’d actually talked about my Headcanon that her parents hate her- but this really takes the cake. Nancy really pulled herself out of her shitty situation and found happiness with her two boys. Also: pregnant Nancy? A dream.
10. You Deserve Something Good
Nancy Wheeler/Kali Prasad/Jonathan Byers/Steve Harrington
7/19/2018
My comments now: This was so fun to write and I love angst and darkness tbh. It’s the CRACKED TOOTH FOR ME. (That’s all).
11. Why Have One When Two is Better?
Nancy Wheeler/Steve Harrington/ Jonathan Byers
7/25/2018
My comments now: This is adorable. I love how the kids are so involved and concerned with Stoncy. Writing the kids was super fun, and having them “pick sides” was awesome. I think if they really did get together (or ST showed a healthy normal relationship) the kids would be all up in that shit.
12. White Magnolia
Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler
12/21/2018
My comments now: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written, based on a cheesy country song that was my jam. This follows Nancy and Steve through their lives, marriage, kids and otherwise. Everything came naturally and I still have multiple one shots for this verse on my computer. This is so sad I cried while writing it, and did everything I could to ramp up the angst. This is the first fic my (now) fiancé read of mine and that we got to discuss in person. The mommy kink came so natural that I think it ended up perfectly. I would legit die for this fic.
13. Kinktober Day 4- Incest
Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
10/6/2021
My comments now: I had fucking forgot about Jon and Sansa!! (How could I?) when I saw incest I was like fuck YES! The 5+1 format.. hell yes. Accidental nudity? Hell yes. Jon’s jealousy? Absolutely. The dirty talk.. who am I? #A whore. Love!
14. The Parental Journey of Jon and Sansa Snow
Jon Snow/Sansa Stark
11/15/2021
My comments now: Honestly I did not think the first part in this series would get that much traction, so I busted my ass on this one. Immediately I knew I wanted them to adopt a black child, and immediately I wanted them to be like holy shit were white as hell! I think I did a good job combining that with them being amazing parents and caring so much about a child they hadn’t had since birth. Post partum and post adoption depression is real folks.
15. I Can’t Breathe When I’m With You
Steve Harrington/Nancy Wheeler
10/7/2018
My comments now: Kinktober really pushed my limits and this fic specifically really made me question my own kinks. This has it all, dirty talk, humiliation etc. it’s such a Headcanon to see Nancy being physically perfect (makeup and hair done etc) and then see her reduced to a physical mess, even before we talk about sub space with her. I love daddy kink and also think calling Nancy derogatory names would cause her to get turned on beyond belief. Also the part 2 one shot is adorable. This was clearly written before I was engaged, when I really wanted to be proposed to lol.
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svnarintaro · a year ago
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you need to rest..
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authors note: THIS IDEA IS 100% @kirislut content and based off of one of their match ups that found absolutely adorable,, cause in full honesty y'all need to gas this account to the mAX
read the matchup here 
synopsis: you were definitely were the light of shoto’s life, he noticed everything when it came to you, like how you always share your ear bud, give him the surprise hugs that he needs and give him the words of wisdom that he always needed.. recently you were selling yourself short from others and shoto needed to put a stop to it. 
warnings: fluffy comfort !! 
word count: 1.1k 
todoroki shoto x reader
you ran behind shoto to give him his daily hug, “hey shoto!” you smiled as your arms wrapped around his waist and you poked your head from behind to see a soft little smile, “hello there darling,” you let go to come around and walk with him since you had nothing better to do, ever since the students were to be in the dorms at U.A this brought you and shoto even closer than before and that’s how he got to dating you. “where are you off to?” you wanted him to disclose on how his week was going, even being in the same class you always started the conversation so he could feel comfortable, “i was going to get you ice cream but now that you you’re here it makes it easier, we can even go to that cafe down the street.” now with your hand in yours, shoto looked into your eyes. 
his heart melted at the sight of you smiling, he loved how bright you were. however he noticed below your eyes laid dark circles, “really?! i would love to go with you,” he was barely listening in on your words, worry washed over him, now he was worried for your well being. he knew how often you dedicated yourself to others, how you would give anything for others to be happy. he didn’t get how you could be so selfless, no one could really compare to how extraordinary you were. “so what have you been up to sho? is there anything i can help you with?” shoto felt guilty, you were doing it again, you were talking about him instead of yourself. “well it has been really uneventful, what about you precious?” 
you were thinking, you had to sort through the events of your week, “well i’ve been tutoring denki, helping momo with her wardrobe clean out, giving uraraka tips with midoriya, doing grocery store runs for sato, oh! and i can’t forget about about talking with kiri about going to the skate park soon!” you were listing all off all the things that you were helping people, completely oblivious to the whole point of the question was supposed to talk about you, not about how you helped others. 
the two got all the things you needed from both the convenience store and the cafe, you were still going on about the advice you were giving out to people, not disclosing names just general advice. shoto did not want to do stop you from talking, you had obvious stars in your eyes just from the things that you talked about, all he could say was ‘that’s great love,’ or ‘how interesting.’ he was waiting until after dinner to sit you down and talk about how you needed to think of yourself from time to time.
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it was now dinner and you all went to the mess hall to grab your meals, shoto noticed that you were talking with jirou about a topic that he had no idea about, he could only admire you from a distance, “y/n is truly magic, i don’t know how they do it sometimes.” midoriya spoke after seeing shoto staring at you, “yeah they really are amazing.” he replied as the two of them found a table to sit at and waited for the others to come sit on the other vacant spots. 
tsu and uraraka got to the table and now the only people that were missing was you and iida. “have you seen y/n? i haven’t seen them since i took them to the cafe earlier,” shoto had distress in his eyes and worry in his voice, “oh i saw her at the back of the line to get food.” tsu answered, ‘there they go again.. by the time that they get to the front of the line there won’t be much left..’ and to shoto’s avail he was right. you shared some of his soba but you said that you weren’t that hungry anyways, and that’s where his worry grew.
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it was now past curfew and todoroki still couldn’t get a hold of you on your phone, so he did the only thing he could think of in this situation, going straight to your room. he was only down the hall from you so it gave him an advantage so once he got to your dorm he softly knocked, “darling? are you still awake?” he was not expecting much from you it was three am in the morning of course he knew that you were supposed to be sleeping, but to his surprise the door opened, “sho? what are you doing here right now? here get in here, let’s talk about it.” you opened your door letting. your boyfriend in. 
“okay sho whats up?” you asked, “precious i need to talk to you about how you have been acting lately.” shoto looked serious as ever, your lips shut tight and you prepared to listen to your boyfriend, “you always put yourself after others, you need to stop doing that all the time.. you need to let all your emotions out.. thats what i’m here for.. so please,” he reaches for your hand and guides you to your bed sits you down. 
“talk about yourself for once please..” your heart fell from the thought of worrying shoto. you finally let yourself go and started crying, “i just.. i want people to be happy first, i feel like it’s not enough if i can’t help them with simple tasks, i feel like i need to help.. i feel bad if i don’t.. i feel like i need them to feel happy for me to even go on with my day, and i would give anything to make their day great..” you cried and held your head in your hands and sobbed, with how tired and overworked you were mixed in with the stress of being in U.A you couldn’t handle it. “i’m so sorry that you have to deal with me right-” shoto kissed you to stop you from continuing your sentence. 
“love i want you to stop right there, you are not a burden to me, or anyone. everyone can see how you work hard to make sure that everyones best interests are met, i hope that you know that.. and it breaks my heart to see you like this.. so please,” he gives your hand a little squeeze. “take better care of yourself. i’m here to help you.. please rely on me too..” he took you into his arms and cradled you in his arms until you drifted off to sleep.
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xfirebenderx · 11 months ago
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Hi guys!!!
As the year comes to an end, I just wanted to take some time to appreciate my wonderful friends and mutuals who have made my past year on Tumblr great and wonderful. A lot of us have gone through some really hard times this year and through one way or another we’ve found ways to bring each other happiness, laughs and unforgettable moments. 2020 is definitely a year for the books lol. This post will more than likely get long so please bare with me😅💕
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@cupidhaos : My bubbie!!! You were one of the first blogs I ever followed, and the first blog I ever interacted with. Since the first day I sent in an ask till now you've been nothing but amazing to me as a friend and a confidant. We didn't officially become friends until like May 18, 2020😭 You've really been a blessing in my life and I don't know what I'd do without you. You always thank me for being there for you, listening to you rant and for being your safe haven; however, thank YOU, Sakura! Thank you for always hyping me up, letting me go on my tangents, blowing my fuses, crying, and venting to you about whatever may be wrong with me. I always talk to you about my OC works whether it be an idol AU or anime, and you hype me up and support my visions for my WIPs and I always end up smiling bc of it. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing you grow as a person right before my eyes and all I want to do is hug you so tight because I am so proud of you. I love you as a friend, a person, a human being, and as quite literally my other half on this site!! Thank you for being my rock, and I will continue to be yours. I’ve told you this since the very beginning but it’s me and you against the world hand in hand. We've been through so much in such a small amount of time but I wouldn't trade it for the world 💕
@lamarkeu : Llynie!!! Ahhh Llyn...what can I say? Like seriously, it’s like we started talking a few days ago when it’s actually been a few months. Our late night talks are and have been the highlight of the last months of 2020. You are such a creative and lovely soul, you always have the best ideas and I love hearing you gush about them to me. I treasure our late-night talks where we bounce ideas off each other and create the most interesting story plots, I enjoy being the “godmother” of so many of your series plots, MWL will forever go down in infamy😂 from helping you plan MWL pt.2 to cooking up HH, there has never been a dull moment with you. I genuinely consider you, along with Sakura, the other other half of me on this site. Thank you for hyping up my ideas for possible WIPs of mine, for the random song recs, the late night conversations. Oh the days and nights I would try my best to help you with Statistics but my big brain would fail you at times😭Thank you for the love and support you’ve given me, you truly are my hype-woman and I will continue to be yours. 2021 won't be ready for the big things we have in store👀💕
@muchomango : Ren!! My tumblr wifey as I dubbed you lol, there hasn't really been a day that I never missed you. Ever since the first ask I sent you, you just always radiated such loving and comforting vibes. I always looked forward to your answers and your updates because I am so in love with your writing. You  are so talented and amazing, I love how you are such a genuine listener; whether it be gushing about domestic kpop boys, scenarios, or my most memorable “dream interpretations”. You are so hard working and it is evident, whether it be through your works on this site, your personal writings and your job. You are resilient and strong and I admire that about you. I bonded with you because you were like the only other Chicana I had met here and we were both into svt, it just felt nice having someone I could bond with. You’ve been kind of like an older sister in a way, and I’m forever thankful that you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me, even when I was too busy to reach out. I hope you know that you can come to me whenever you need, ily Ren and I hope we can become closer in 2021💕
@sankyeom : Belle!!! You are like a ray of sunshine, and words cannot express how much I adore you. You were/ are one of my first mutuals. Every ask chain/ ask game I receive from you makes me smile, especially when i see you pop up in my notes for being tagged in tag games, or mutual appreciation posts. I reached out for ghost reading Bad at Love, and I am not ashamed to say that I’ve been ghost reading your works because they are so good!!! I’ve been around for a while, have i not?? lol😂. I met you when you were a senior in high school, and seeing you transition into a freshman uni student has been amazing. I hope you know that I am so proud of you for going strong and persevering through everything that has been thrown at you this year. I will always be here for you Belle, I will root for you even from the shadows, I will fight off any anon who want’s to be a smartass with you. I can’t wait to see more of you and see you grow in the new year and I hope you know that you are such a lovely soul bubs💕
@kwanisms : K!!! my wonderful K... what can I say? like honestly.... I’m kind of speechless. Ahhh K, you were the second blog I followed, I started off as a ghost reader, but I fell in love with so many of your works. Our mutual relationship blossomed out of asks games like BWH and would you rather, and if I’m being quite honest... they were the highlight of my fall 2019 semester in college. I’m pretty sure seeing my name popping up in your notes feels like once in a blue moon compared to earlier in the year. Your ask box was the place where W I L D Nani came out to play and it was the best 🤣You’ve gone through so much this past year alone, from mental stress to your injury (if I remember correctly) but i admire your patience. the patience you have to deal with people asking for updates, I applaud you for it. I admire how you find a way to take the high road no matter what is thrown at you. I have so much love for you my sugarplum!! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for you in 2021. As always I will remain a patient reader, but above all I’m here as a friend/mutual and a supporter in anything you chose to do. You are a fighter K, never lose that spark💕
@shionwrites : Aly!!! ALY, ALY, ALYY!!!! Another one of my lovely mutuals whom I adore and look up to🥺 You've been so busy with work it's like rare to see you on here, and even when you are I'm late to notice. You are such a wonderful person and a great writer, if I hadn't hoped in your ask box screaming over Thank U, Next then idk where we would be. Aly, you have such a wonderful soul and heart, you are understanding but you also aren't afraid of standing your ground. I'm thankful for the times when we truly got the chance to connect on a personal level. You remind me of ocean waves; you go with the flow, it can get rough at times but you never lose your form and identity. I suck at streaks😭 but your sc streaks make my mornings/nights. Like you got to see my face for the first time through our streaks and I can never get enough of yours. Y'all Aly is so pretty pls, but trust me she's beautiful inside and out. Thank you for being a friend to me through it all I can't wait to see what 2021 has in store for us and I hope we stay close, ily💕
@binniebutter : Amie!!! Chi-chi baby, you came in my life like a meteor crashing into Earth. You are like a precious little bean to me, I enjoy seeing you in my dash going about your day and causing chaos on your network🤣 You bring such a youthful happiness to my soul (I’m like 5 years older than you dude lol cut me some slack). You’re like one of the few people that bring out my nurturing loving side and I thank you for that. I know you don’t need me to like fight anyone off but I’d fight tooth and nail for you. The nights and days we’d play Among Us live in my mind rent free, it was never dull especially when we would betray each other >.<  all in all thank you for making my 2020 bright, I've enjoyed watching your blog grow I camt wait to see it grow more💕
@iiasha : Emily!!!! Ahhh Emily, I hope you've been doing well it's been a while since I've hoped in your ask box to chat >.< While we didn't really become mutuals till later on in the year (around June) you always popped up in my feed as a recommended page to follow, to say I wasn't familiar with your work would be utter bull. You make the most amazing phot scans, speed paintings and gifs. You bring such a sense of normality and serenity to my life. You could be talking about going for a chipotle run and while I don't engage I'd just be here like "Ah there she goes again" while smiling st my phone. If I had to pick a song to describe you in my life it would be My My, because while you're being stressed with work I know you can manage and I find it so admirable. I'm pretty sure I described you as a hardworking, nature loving, adventure seeking woman earlier in the year and it still stands. You never fail to bring me security in my messy and teeter totter life and I thank you for that. I can't wait to see what one of my favorite content creators has in store for 2021💕
@fallinfllower : Mik!!! Mik!!!! We've only recently become mutuals but that won't stop me from gushing about how you're such a wonderful person. We met through Sakura, in respect to our future plans😅 I'm not gonna lie...I was a little intimidated at first, but then again I am intimidated easily. However since our first interaction in the group chat I've felt at ease with you and you've become a person whom I admire because of your hardworking character and tenacity to push through with your plans. I can be dumb with you and Sak and like you guys will match me in anyways possible without ever trying so thank you for making me laugh and giggle. When I think of you I think about flowers, and Jun lol, but mostly your letter you sent a few weeks ago, it was so sweet and I still go back to read it; it got me through finals actually. Thank you for coming in my life Mik and I hope we can get closer in 2021💕
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@thetypingpup : Ellie!!! I met you during my first anon event, I was your anon and shit, I'll be honest I feel like I was a shitty anon. But while being your anon I got to know more about you and understand you better. I always tell you that I admire you and I always mean that, you know what you want and you go for it. You aren't scared to speak your mind and put your opinions out there and that's what makes you, YOU. I love seeing you put out the content you want and enjoy especially seeing how creative you can get with some scenarios and ideas. You have such a gentle heart and you are such a sweet soul, you have a fiery personality and character and I love that balance about you. You are duper cool and mellow. Never change Ellie. Through you I learned that I don't always have to be nice and that I have every right to speak my mind. I hope for nothing but the best for you in the upcoming year, I want you to be happy in every aspect of life because you deserve it. And I will always be here to support and root for you💕
@kebinwooo : Mari!!! I met you through the caratanon event earlier in the year. It was my first time participating in an anon event. Thank you for making my first anon even so fun and memorable!!! Having you as an anon really made my summer amazing, it got me through my summer classes and I'm not gonna lie I would anticipate getting your asks☺️ I love seeing you on my dash because get my daily dose of monsta x from your reblogs and you talk and post about the kdramas you're watching so it's very entertaining (I actually started watching the uncanny counter). Thank you for coming into my life, please know that if you ever need to talk I'm always here (I suck at reaching out first lol ) but seriously Mari thank you for being a wonderful mutual and friend💕
@woozisnoots : Alex!!!! You were my second anon during the flower fest event. Having you as an anon was amazing, I feel like we clicked instantly and we had so many similarities from the get go. I can honestly say, having you as my anon was phenomenal it was kinda like finding another version of myself. I feel like we bonded so much over the course of the few weeks you were my anon and I always looked forward to seeing you in my asks. I'm not gonna lie when I found out you were my flower fest anon I was like super intimidated bc to me you're like an amazing content creating blog. But in all sincerity, you are the cutest and the bubbliest person I've met Alex, never change and stay positive. I'm so proud of you for getting into nursing school!!!! I mayhaps slid in your ask box a few times and haven't for a while because of my busy semester and well ya girl is shy👉👈 but I hope we get to bond and get closer next year💕
@gabagaba05 : Gabi!!!! You started off as my CNCO anon🔥, and it like wasn't really that hard for me to make the connection after a few months lol. But I wasn't going to say anything, because I found it cute and entertaining how you would reblog my CNCO, or my CNCO x SVT stuff and then CNCO anon🔥 would appear. You've brought me so many smiles, alot of laughter, you've sent me into shrieking fits. It just felt so nice being able to talk about CNCO with someone and having someone hype up my love for Latin Music and Kpop like you have. Seeing you on my dash, my messages, and ask box has been the highlight of so many of my months. Through our love of CNCO and SVT my Spotify 2020 was comprised of mostly CNCO and SVT, with Reggaetón as my #1 genre😭 Thank you for checking in on me despite me being bad at replying, I genuinely appreciate it. I wish you and your family a great end of year and a warm and wonderful new year. I hope we become closer💕
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This server has brought me immense happiness, smiles, and laughs. But, this server has also brought me pain and heartache I didn’t know I could ever experience. This server taught me that I have to be more careful with my trust and those whom I offer my friendship to. I met some of the most amazing people through this carat server. There’s been some unforgettable moments from my first seventeen comeback (heng:garae), to the SVT million seller stream, to just random conversations with the girls who hold a special place in my heart🖤
@claryfeary : My Cleo-bubs, the forever maknae in the server, where can I even begin to describe and thank you for being such a great friend. When we first started talking you had a Zuko picture and you had sprained your ankle, and it progressed to me asking about your ankle and well being. Being close in age to you, despite having a 2 year age difference, made me happy to have someone I could kind of talk to. For a young woman, you have such an amazing perception of life. You were a voice of reason and I appreciate and thank you for that. I feel like my nurturing nature really came out because of you, and I will forever be thankful to you for that. If you ever need anything you know you can pop in my asks or messages... for you I’d drop everything. Let’s get closer this upcoming year💕
@tiernamente​ : Les!!! My one and only Jae enthusiast, I’m pretty sure you left the server :(  but regardless I met you through this server and I will forever thank the server for crossing our paths. You are so silly and fun, quite honestly I think you were the one who made me laugh the most. I miss your crazy antics, other than Cleo-bubs I vibed with you on the same wave-length. Thank you for the tag games, and i love seeing you on my dash and in my notes when I tag you in games, especially when you say you enjoy learning new things about me. The server brought us together, and I’d like to get to know more about you. I hope we can engage more in the upcoming year and become closer. Thank you for coming in my life, te quiero💕
@moonboozi : Ally! Oh Ally I know you haven’t been that active on tumblr in eons (pause for dramatic effects) but the last time we talked was a month ago on the server. Your uwus and positivity have been missed, I feel like you carried the server and made it an unforgettable experience for the most part. You are such a wonderful and reliable friend, not only to me but to all your friends and mutuals. You have such a big heart, you are so compassionate, and you radiate so much love and light. I hope you’ve been well, I hope you’ve been taking care of yourself. Know that you are loved and everything you do is appreciated 💕
@wennjunhui : Jade!!!! Oh how I miss you >.< I don’t think you’ve been on tumblr in a while? I feel like we’ve all interacted a lot in the server, but I feel like you were one of the only members who was really active. You are such a fun, caring, gentle and supportive friend and mutual. I’m pretty sure everyone who’s interacted with you on the server and on other platforms would agree. You and Ally gave so much love to us and I tried my best to express my love back. I just wish we talked more and I hope we get the chance to💕
To the remaining girls in the server, I hope we can all be active again and make the server better together. I hope we can bring each other happiness again. To the four girls above, I love you thank you for bringing me happiness and forming an unforgetable bond with each other. You guys are truly the glue of the server💫
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This server is fairly new, and after being invited by Amie I am glad to say that these girls are so precious to me, it’s a new dynamic for me (being the oldest in the group) but I wouldn’t trade it for the world . Thank you guys for making me laugh and keeping me young?? in a way lol. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for my girlies, they are unique in their own way and I love each and every one of them🖤 (if anyone knows Cleo and Lily’s @’s pls @ them lol)
@hoes4hoseok :  Piper!!!! Pretty, adorable Piper; you never fail to make me smile. You are a great server owner. Out of all the girls, other than Amie and Sak, I’ve talked to you the most since my first few days in the server. Thank you for gushing about seventeen songs with me, and providing top tier commentary in the chat. I hope we can get to know each other more the next year💕
@/cleo : Cleo...you are such a funny gal. from talking about horoscopes to sign compatibilities, and pet names. There is never a dull moment with you in the chat. Deadass...such a lovely girl and I can’t wait to get to know you more 💕
@/lily : hmmm... Lily I don’t think we’ve actually interacted much during our time in the server. But I’d love for us to get to know each other more. If you ever need anything please know that you can come to me whenever💕
To you all...I can’t wait to see what you have in store the upcoming year
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The first form of a server/ group I was a part of on this site. I am forever grateful to the people I met through here. This group was the perfect example of how music can bring together people of all ages, religions, countries and genders. I met so many wonderful people, my main mutuals ( Beth, Amber, Kakashiim, and Stef), and we even got a k-beauty chat out of it lol. I may not be active like I was a year ago, but i do my best to catch up on anything chat related💛
@realmckitten : Beth, I’ve said it so many times but not enough, seriously....thank you for creating this group. It's brought me so many wonderful memories, if I hadn't joined this chat I would've never been able to be who I am now. You are such a wonderful person I side and out, you have such great compassion and you are so understanding. I call you the best group chat leader-nim but I really do mean it. Thank you for taking time out of your day and checking in on me when I'm not at my best, ily for that 💕
To the members, @strangeicequeen @kakashiim @alldayxia @shaniaixx​ , and so many more thank you for tagging me in so many games, and filling my ask box. Life has been pretty hectic and I may not get to them as much as I used to, but seeing you guys in my notes and ask box made me smile. Through it all you've brought me immense smile, a sense a security and a sense of a family. I love each and everyone of you in your own special way and in someway or another you've all made me happy. I sincerely cherish you all, thank you for giving me such a wonderful year and I hope we have a better one together💕
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If you've made it this far...bless you you're an angel >.< this post was longer than I expected😭 Thank you for being such an important part of my life this past year on Tumblr. It may not seem like it but you've all made a special impact in my life and i will always hold you all dear to my heart. You're all wonderful human beings and you deserve to be shouted out💕
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theonetheycallhannah · a year ago
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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter Four: E-Stim
Pairing: Captain “Sy” Syverson x OFC (Shane Benton)
Summary: Shane deals with the consequences of her email to her boss, both good and bad. A mortifying situation has an…unexpected outcome. Emotions run high in the fourth chapter of The Tx of Sy! Behind on the action? Catch up HERE! 
Word Count: 2k
Warnings: Language, some angst and emotions. (Like I literally cried writing part of it) And like, an asshole boss…but if you stick it out with Susan, you won’t be disappointed.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.
Tags:
@onlyhenrys
 @cavillryarchive
 @summersong69
 @titty-teetee
 @bloodyinspiredfuck
 @agniavateira
@oddsnendsfanfics
(you didn’t ask, but i took the liberty! Hope that’s okay!)
@tumblnewby @suavechops
Shane had spent her morning getting ready for work and treating her first patient with a whopping headache…maybe a small glass of wine would have been more responsible of her. But she slept like the dead, which was the goal.
She took a moment before her second patient to check her email…there was a reply from Susan.
Shane, come to my office at your next possible availability.
No "thank you" or "please" or "fuck you very much." just an order. Last she checked, SHE wasn't in the military. Since Heather wasn't in yet, she messaged the secretary on duty, Marsha, to see if she could find a way to make an opening in her morning. She wanted to get this meeting over with.
Sure, Shane. Looks like Cory could take your next patient, if you like. He's seen him before.
Perfect. Please make that change and block me for a meeting with Susan. Thank you so much.
She saw Cory walk by, and warned him. "Cory, I'm having Marsha move Mr. Greenbaum to you next hour. I need to meet with Susan about something." she rolled her eyes.
"Oh, shit. Okay. No problem." Cory knew all too well the fuckery that a Susan meeting could entail.
"I really appreciate it. I owe you big time."
"Nah, Mr. G is cool. We just talk about huntin' and stuff."
"He'll probably like that we switched, then." she laughed. And headed for what felt like the principal's office. Bleak and miserable.
She knocked on the door, and was told in an all too cheerful manner to come in.
"Hey!"
"Morning Susan."
"Close the door and have a seat, Shane."
She typed away for a moment before fully engaging…as was her way. She thought it gave her the power. It really just annoyed the fuck out of everyone.
"So, tell me what's going on with this patient you emailed me about."
"Well, he's an ACL and MCL tear, traumatic, plus a dislocated patella. He did it during a mission in Iraq. Ummm, he's improving a lot. Potter did the surgery. He had him keep the crutches about two weeks longer than we thought he would, but--"
"No I mean…this relationship. What's the deal, here?"
"Oh, there's not much to say about it, really. He's been fairly flirty from pretty early on. I've been able to ignore it, but to be honest, I think he's a really great guy, and I think he deserves better than me ignoring his advances, especially when, to be honest Susan, the feelings he has for me are not unrequited." her heart was racing. More than if Sy had been in the room flirting with her, but so much less pleasant.
"I don't think you should see this guy until the treatment is over. What if it doesn't work out and he doesn't want to come here anymore because of you." That hurt…not that it wasn't rattling around in her head, too.
"Well, Susan, to be honest, that's one reason I haven't spoken up about this already. I have that fear. But he's been very adamant about it lately, and it's been on my mind a lot, and I think I owe it to the both of us to see it through."
"I think I should call this guy. Let me pull him up."
She gave her his details to get his information pulled up in their system. God, this was embarrassing. She should have known this nightmare was coming.
"Hello?" a gravelly bark came across the speakerphone.
"Hello, Mr. Syverson?"
"Captain Syverson, yes, Ma'am." She wasn't expecting him to pull rank…and he did it so politely.
"Sorry, Captain Syverson. My name is Susan DeForrest, I'm the manager here at Fort Wood Therapy Clinic. How are you this morning?"
"This side of the daisies ain't worth complainin. What can I do ya for, ma'am?"
"Well, I have Miss Benton, your therapist here in a meeting. You're on speaker."
"Hey Sy." Shane mewled sheepishly.
"Hey there, Shane." she could hear the smile in his voice. She didn't know if Susan could.
"She's saying that the two of you would like to see each other socially, outside of therapy."
"Oh, that's not quite the words I'd use, ma'am, but I s'pose you're technically correct."
"And she's explained to you that this facility has a policy in place regarding such fraternization?" What a load of bullshit she was shoveling. Making it sound so sinister and clandestine what she and Sy were trying to start up. Like espionage. This woman…
"I'm aware that certain policies exist like that to protect patients or customers, and more frequently the staff from situations that could present problems for both or either parties. I am not aware that a strict policy exists to police your staff in such a stringent manner. In fact, I know the opposite to be true."
"Excuse me?" Susan asked, shell shocked.
"See, them policies o' yours, they're all available online. Public knowledge. Even your personnel ones. Now, y'all have a nice and thorough handbook, I mean, I have been up all night just pouring over this like honey on toast, and I can tell you, I ain't findin' a word about y'all not being allowed to date your patients."
"Well, it's in policy number…"
"Nope, you were gonna say 47, subsection 2, part b. But that just says that you shouldn't treat anyone you're close to (i.e. friend, relative, or significant other) if you can't maintain objectivity or your own comfortability. Now, if I'd make Shane uncomfortable, or if she lost her objectivity over me, I'd be devastated. Shane, do I or do you think I could make you uncomfortable or unobjective?" he was laying it on so thick. If she hadn't been falling for him, this would have done it.
"I don't think so, Sy." She held back a smile…but not well.
"There ya have it. Miss DeForrest, I trust that Shane is free to live her life in the way she sees fit?"
"Well, I still think she should wait…" Susan started, but was cut off again by Sy.
"Because you see, I've seen a lot of young people fail to grow old. A lot of people waitin' to do things…they never ended up doin'. This life…it can be real, real short, Miss DeForrest. And I'm not keen on waitin' to be happy when I could be happy right now. Have I made myself clear enough for you? Or do I need to go to the next link in the chain of command here?" The emotion and resolve in his voice was completely shattering. He wasn't crying. But Shane and Susan both were. And then suddenly, Susan sniffed herself into composure and answered him with dignity.
"No, Captain Syverson. That will not be necessary. Shane…is free, of course, to socialize with whomever she sees fit so long as it doesn't affect anyone's treatment adversely. Thank you for your time, candor, and perspective, sir."
"I'm glad to help Shane. She's helped me more than any therapist I've ever had. We clicked immediately. I knew she was somethin' special. But getting to know her over the last few weeks has shown me what true happiness could feel like…I'd forgotten that over in Iraq. She gave that back to me. I'd like to thank her properly."
"I think she'd like that too. Thank you, sir." Susan hung up the phone without letting them say goodbye to each other, but Shane was an utter mess, and unable to form coherent words right now, anyway.
"Wow." Susan exclaimed.
"Yeah." Shane sniffed into a tissue, dabbing her eyes and then blowing her nose loudly, and unapologetically.
"Did he say he spent the whole night reading our policies?" Susan asked, not sure she heard him right.
"That's what I understood." Shane was somehow not surprised.
"Did you tell him to do that?"
"I didn't even know the policies were online, nor did I know you'd pull him in to our meeting…I didn't even know we were having one until twenty minutes ago."
"Right…fair. Sorry, I'm still…off-put by all of that." She had been beaten…and it wasn't familiar or comfortable.
"So, are we finished here?" Shane inquired, tentative about the state of mind her boss was in.
"Yes, go on and take the rest of the hour for continuing ed or whatever." She was normally much more composed…Sy had really gotten to her. She loved it.
Shane hurried back to her treatment room. She had to call him.
"Hello?" that same gravelly voice now confused as he'd just hung up with her, basically.
"May I speak to the great hero Captain Syverson, please?"
"Sunshine. How ya doin'?"
"Did you really stay up all night last night to read our entire employee manual?"
"I wanted the straight up, true life details about this policy that could mess up my future."
"I think you broke my boss's brain. She was still stewing when I left. She thought I told you where to find all that and what not. I didn't even know you could find it online. Plus, I didn't know we'd be meeting or that she'd drag you into a personnel matter. She's the worst. And you're literally my hero for beating her down like you did."
"Hey, ya know, she started it. I just finished it."
"You sure did. And how!"
"So…since we're all legal now…"
"Is the magic gone since it's not forbidden?" she laughed.
"Oh, I was gonna say, yeah, I think this may be a mistake. Sorry."
They both giggled.
"I'm free after work on Friday." she suggested.
"Not anymore, you're not. Bring some nice clothes and change when you're done. I'll pick you up after. Just text me when you're about ready?"
"You haven't given me your number, Sy."
"It's in my chart, dork."
"You have to officially give it to me."
"Oh I'll give it to ya, baby." He'd dug deep into the bass part of his register for that one.
"Syyyyy." she groaned.
"Oh, you already know I like it when you say my name."
"I'm being serious right now, what's your damn number or the date is off." She bluffed.
"Not because I believe that idle threat, but because I wanna…give it to ya." he rattled off the number.
"Okay, I'll be texting you with mine. Now, I have work today, so if you text me and don't get an immediate response, you know that's why."
"I'm not your only patient? I'm hurt, Shane."
"I know, that's why you've been coming to therapy for weeks."
"Har-Har, good thing I'm not into you for your sense of humor."
"Good thing I'm not into you for your looks, since 80% of your face is obscured by hair."
"We could go all day like this."
"The stamina." she teased.
"Well, look who joined the game!" he sounded almost proud.
"Don't think I haven't been participating silently for…a while."
"How long?" he inquired
"Isn't that my line?" she laughed at the penis joke she'd just made.
"You'll find out soon enough, and you won't be laughing. How long?"
"Well, you remember your evaluation."
"I do."
"Yeah…then." she bleated, too shy to say so with pride.
"No way! You mean you've liked me all this time too! And haven't said shit!?"
"I had to be professional, Sy! I didn't want to! Damn! You've gotta know how much I didn't want to be professional."
"I'll forgive ya, I guess, lil' lady."
"Merciful of you, sir!" she chuckled. "I'll need to go here soon. Won't be long now until my next one gets here."
"Tease me with a 'sir' then cut me off. Cruel."
"You like 'sir,' huh?" she whispered.
"I do. Yes…I…do."
"Noted. Well, until tomorrow."
"Don't forget to text me. I want you to give it to me too." he chuckled.
"Oh, you're bad."
"But, I'm real, real good sunshine." The deep rich promise in his voice did not go unnoticed.
"Bye Sy."
"Later Shane."
She hung up and texted him immediately. A selfie. He replied in kind. He seemed to be home on his couch, Aika by his side…he was not wearing a shirt…well…this day would be eternal.
Up Next: Chapter Five- Sensory Integration 1
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cheseyre · a year ago
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good news, sluts! my brain's no longer being completely stupid (only mostly), i've seen the new asides and...have some thought-y thot thoughts:
*deep inhale*
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Okay, first things first: this art style is soooo fucking cUTE and I'm a jealous, squealing bitch. Anyone who knows who the artist is, could you link me to them, stat? I think Thomas mentioned them at the beginning of the ep, but nYeh, brain hurt, doesn't wanna do wooork-
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Okay, I'll admit, I was a little...apprehensive when I first saw the thumbnail and title. Part of it's just me being a bitter Remus Stan, but also...okay, deep breaths, controversial opinion time, get ready:
I don't ship Prinxiety.
Like, at all. 
I can see the appeal, and these dorks were so very, VERY cute in this particular ep, but I was honestly turned off by the ship long ago due to how overwhelmingly popular it is and how some fans characterize these two and treat this relationship as if it's the only valid one, y'know, the works—slight tangent, but that's also why I don't ship Logicality or Remile. I honestly vibe much better with ships like Roceit or Analogical, y'know?
Cutting in for another brief tangent: I'm surprisingly okay with Demus/Dukeceit/Receit/Trashnoodle/Whatever-Their-Ship-Name-Is-Oh-God-Why-Do-They-Have-So-Many-Fucking-Names; maybe it's cause they haven't actually interacted in canon and the fan content gives me such good Gay Disney Villain content, idk man im weird—).
Still, their interactions were both hilarious and sweet and like I said, I see the appeal, it's just not my cup of tea. y'all Prinxiety fans got fucking FED and I'm happy for you nerds. Enjoy ze happy boys!
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I guess another factor in my...low-key hesitance when I first saw what the ep was about is that...okay, get ready, another controversial opinion, le gasp: well, I'm not a big Virgil fan. In fact, at times, he swaps places with Patton as my least favorite sides—especially with some of his recent behavior in eps like DWIT (the "prohibit your breathing comment" really triggered me, for example). Sometimes, his attitude, especially around other sides like Roman or Janus, reminds me a little too much of my sister, who I don't have...a very good relationship with. Add to that how the more...intense side of the fandom has a disturbing tendency to turn him into the 'uwu precious woobie emo baby who can do no wrong' while unnecessarily villainizing other CERTAIN sides in the process, and...I think you all see where I'm going with this little rant 😅
However, upon actually watching the ep, he wasn't...that bad? I don't think? I enjoyed watching him be a flustered, disaster-y mess and genuinely excited at the end, his interactions with Roman were nice enough, and him literally pushing Thomas to make a move with Nico despite his obvious panic attack was a nice moment of genuine character development. I like seeing that, that's the good shit right there. And him being all flustered and shit, and smiling so much at the end of the vid was just...well, adorable. This man has no fucking right to be this cute, my god
alsoooo 
pURPLE EYESHADOW
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PURPLE EYESHADOW HE LOOKS?? SO GOOD?? WTF?? SLAY EMO, SLAAAAAAAY FUCK, DOES THIS MEAN I HAVE TO CHANGE MY HALLOWEEN COSTUME NOW?
alsoooo 
hAPPY ROMAN
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YESSSSS~ MAH BOI MAH SON MAH DUMB BITCH HIMBO PRINCE MAH EXTRA MESSY CINNAMON ROLL
ITS  BEEN SO  LONG
AND HIS LITTLE HEART EYES THROUGHOUT THE VID, OH MY GOD-
IMMA JUST IGNORE THAT "ADDING [MISTAKE] TO THE LIST" COMMENT I AM LOOKING AWAY I DO NOT SEE IT LALALALALA
THOMATHY, SIR, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING THESE TWO GAY IDIOTS SO BAEBY
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Okay, but Virgil not realizing that "cyberstalking in real life" is literally just stalking is both a big ass mood and further proof that, yes, Logan is indeed the only one holding the braincell out of this disaster of a lot. God help them all if he ducks out in the next ep.
👀
And Thomas x Trash Can is my new OTP.  I dub thee ✨ "Trashmas" ✨
we sTAN TRASHMAS
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Wait, does that mean Remus actually WAS in the ep? Cause, y'know, trash man?
hmmm
👀 👀 
Okay, okay. 
With how much Virgil and Roman were going off about Thomas constantly lying, I was (understandably) a tad bit disappointed my snek son didn't even make a fucking cameo, but y'know what? In hindsight, I'm okay with this it's fineee~
He was just off playing with shadow puppets and stealing money from us desperate, content-starved peasants with his sheer extra-ness and, honestly? Gotta respect the hustle. 
Get that precious, precious coin, dapper snake! Wring us poor losers dryyyy!
*evil snek laugh*
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Also, this is a breather ep and adding Janus in probably would've caused unnecessary drama with the Roceit breakup and the constant antagonism between Virgil and him. It probably would've distracted from the point of the ep (flirting with social anxiety, exactly what it says in the tin)—much like it wasn't really Virgil or Remus's place to show up during POF. Does that make sense? I think it makes sense. Sorry, brain going brr-
Still, I can't believe the "Fuck Janus Sanders" Club is actually canon now 😂
God, first Patton in a skirt and now this. 
Thomas Sanders, you delight in fucking feEDING this gremlin nest of a fanbase, don’t you? You RELISH our screams of joy and pain and suffering, dON’T YOU?
What's next, actual canonical Janus and Remus interaction? Patton saying the fuck word? The Dragon Witch comes back? Janus's bowler hat gains sentience and takes over the world, Doris-style? What do you have planned, Thomas? Joan? WHAT ART THOU PLANNING, I MUST KNOW YOU HEATHENS YOU FIENDS-
And Virgil's little "would it be fair to him" comment, tho.
👀
Like, I get in the context of the ep, he was likely talking about Nico and how it wouldn’t be good for a potential relationship with Tomas to be founded on lies, but still...my anxceit heart aches, man. 
Gimme that sweet, sweet angst with a side of mutual regret and possible future reconciliation and maybe something more wink wink nudge nudge on top, pls
...and fries.
Honestly, tho, that entire bathroom monologue was fucking beautiful, man. And relatable, too—i can't tell you how many times I've talked to myself in public restrooms because I just didn't know how to get the words I wanted to say out. It's...kind of embarrassing, tbh
Speaking of embarrassing, uh, crying stall guy.
Just...
Crying Stall Guy
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Like, I was expecting someone to come out the bathroom stall after Thomas stopped talking, but...I honestly wasn't expecting that. God, that whole scene was so cringe worthy and fucking hilarious
Honestly, Thomas in the ep in general was a huge ass mOOD and we collective gay/bi disasters ALL related with him, and if you say you don't, you're either lying to yourself or a demon. 
There is no in between 
sorry I don't make the rules
Like, I get this series is literally a gay disaster talking to himself for thirty minutes or longer, but like- EMPHASIS on the 'disaster' part 😂
Like...Thomas, you're lucky you're such a goddamn bean, because GOD, I cringing so hard when he first started talking to Nico
Although, I too have apologized profusely for genuine mistakes and am a flustered bi mess around my crush sooo
😅
And god, Roman's "thirty = old man" jokes made me feel old...and I literally just turned twenty, like, come on, man!
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Maybe that's because I was literally watching this ep after finishing my ACT and had been sitting with a bunch of high schoolers, with their tiny fucking desks and tiny fucking water fountains smeh
*clears throat*
Anyways, uh, we STAN Nico Pintrovert Florés in this house
Like
He gives me such big Carlos from WTNV vibes for some reason and this makes me sooo happy
and YESS, he's a WRITER
And he's??? So sweet?? A pure bean?? Just sits on his laptop at the mall food court all day, like a god-fucking iCON?? A Nightmare Before Christmas fan?? weARS GLASSES??
my hEART
*cries*
The fandom seems torn between "Nicomas" and "Karrot Kings" as a ship name atm—personally speaking, I'm casting my vote for the latter
*crosses fingers* please dont be another janus x remus multiple ship name issue guys, please please please I can't keep track of them all-
*clears throat*
On that note, I'm guess I'm gonna go try and whoo over my crush with carrots now. If THIS disaster can do it and make it actually fucking work, god damnit, so cAN I
Meanwhile, in hell, my brain's just screaming "CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST CANON LOVE INTEREST-"
God, I hope Nico isn't just a one-shot character, he's too pure and Thomas and him are adorable gay Disney fans and I stan
Oh, I wonder how the other sides'll react to him.
Wait.
Oh god.
Oh god.
This ep just unleashed a new fresh hell of potential Nico x Sides ships, hasn't it?
Welp, time to prepare for ze incoming flood of fanfics, I guess. I'll get my umbrella and rain boots.
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That last shot of Virgil during the endcard was so fucking ominous oh my god mom im scared can you come pick me up-
Goddammit, Thomas and Joan, I'm NOT fucking ready to be traumatized again, fUCK
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I wish I wasn't a broke ass university student so I could contribute to Thomas's gloriously extra Patreon—both so I can support my favorite content creators who make this amazing blessed content and also, to join my boi Janus in fucking  destroying society by giving money to the people who actually deserve it, fuck YOU GOVERNMENT-
Okay. 
Okay. 
New headcanon time as to why Patton, Remus, and Logan weren't in the ep: they were helping Jan film that Patreon promotional video. 
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Like
Remus directed it, Logan helped with the lighting and script, and Patton was just there as the cheerleader. 
The reason Janus made a dog with shadow puppets wasn't just to flaunt his deity status and prove how he is truly above us mere wretched mortals 
despite that being the absolute truth and we all know it, don't lie to yourselves
No, it was really him trying to do something cute and silly for Patton, because Moceit rights, daMMIT
*inhales*
noww 
guys, gals, and nonbinary pals
it’s time forr
the most wonderful time of the yearrr
WAITING FOR THE NEXT EPISODE
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Step right up, folks! Hear ye, hear ye, my prediction for the next episode: Prinxiety v. Moceit! With special guest stars: Karrot Kings vibing in adorable gay and Intrulogical, bitter at being excluded aGAIN
Who will win? Who will lose? 
here’s a hint: we all will because in this sick twisted game they are no winners only losers-
Place your bets, folks! ✨
Haha im not readyyy~
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tl;dr
this episode has cleared my skin, watered my crops, and ended my suffering—an adorable calm before the... angsty fucking shitstorm that’s coming far too soon. Prinxiety stans, enjoy your food. Place an 'F' in the chat for me and my fellow grieving Remus stans. Trashmas is the true OTP, but Karrot Kings is cute too I guess. I've only had Nico Florés for 24 minutes, but if anything happens to him, I'll kill everyone in this room and then myself. Purple eyeshadow Virgil makes me question my sexuality aGAIN, and happy gay disney prince rights y'all. Say a big ole 'fuck you' to capitalism by giving your local dapper snake moneys. Concussion makes brain go brr and imma go buy some carrots and be gay now.
psst hey @quarantinevibes2020​ you wanna join me in being disaster-y? i’ll bring my best gay stare and you bring the wine
Until next time, my lovelies! ~ Ches 🖤
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seb-owns-these-tatas · a year ago
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Issues (Carter Baizen x You)
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Characters: Carter Baizen x Fem! Reader.
Summary: You've seen it on the news. Carter Baizen and a woman who can make your insecurities go wild. Serena Van der Woodsen kissing the love of your life.
Prompt: "I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend.", "Please, just stay a little longer.", "Why won't you admit it?!", "When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." (Forgot where I got this from, but I think its from Tumblr)
Warning: Mention of ya'no but no ya'no? Do ya get me? Heehee! 😂 Sad reader and Carter. ANGST!
Words: 1,600+ (This was supposed to only be a drabble but what happened. Damn it.
A/N: THIS IS MY FIRST ONE SHOT OF CARTER. PLEASE BE GOOD TO ME. I HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT THE PLOT OF GOSSIP GIRL. I'VE JUST WATCHED SCENES WHERE SEB IS IN IT AND I TRIED TO KNOW HIS BACKGROUND BY ASKING MY FRIEND. I'M NO CARTER BAIZEN EXPERT. I APOLOGIZE FOR THE TYPOS AND GRAMMATICAL ERRORS. I'M CURRENTLY SICK WHILE WRITING THIS AND I DECIDED TO UPDATE SO Y'ALL KNOW I'M ALIVE AND KICKING. HEEHEE!
LIKE, COMMENT AND REBLOG PLEASE, TATER TOTS? 
Disclaimer: GIF'S and pictures used are not mine. Only the edits are and the oneshot of course. 😉 Credits to the owners of the GIFS and pictures.
Oneshot taglists: @anxiousamandapanda​
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You've heard the news. It was on the internet and even spread by Gossip Girl itself. People of Manhattan knew you were his girlfriend. The accused gold-digger, garbage collector of some rich woman's trash that you gladly accepted because you were more of a trash than Carter Baizen in the flesh.
You huffed, trying to ignore the way his eyes were pale waves of the ocean that meant that tears were threatening to fall as you finally bursted his happy bubble.
"I want to help you through this, I really do, just not as your girlfriend." You mumbled, clicking your tongue out of habit. You could feel his gloomy, piercing blue eyes staring right through you. Begging for you not to leave his miserable, pathetic, complicated ass.
"No," Carter pleaded, his voice turning smaller like you were slowly killing him. You were. On the inside. "Please don't do this," He repeated over and over again, wanting nothing more than to fall down on his knees and keep his arms around your knees, praying to the heavens that you wouldn't leave him. "Please, just stay a little longer."
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Your eyes were stinging for it to leave tears from your eyes. But, you didn't want to cry. No. You didn't want to cry for Carter. Despite of how you gave the only thing that you could give. Your heart. "Do you really love me?" You spat, staring straight into his puffy, reddish Steele blue eyes that looked nothing but hurt. "Or is it still Serena?"
The question made him shake his head furiously, he knew how insecure you were with the famous, rich, gorgeous, meticulous Serena Van der Woodsen.
Well, who were you anyways? You were just a mere human who works as a waitress in a restaurant in which you happen to meet Carter Baizen who was dating Serena back then.
"Y/N--" He started, his eyes pricking tears that were threatening to fall any minute now. "Why won't you admit it?!" You shouted, completely hopeless and wanted nothing more than to erase the fresh memories of Carter kissing Serena in a field full of trees.
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"It's you! It's been you all along, Y/N!" Carter answered back with the same intensity. Though his eyes tell different. Carter didn't want to lose you, however he fucked up. He knew he fucked up and because of it he knows what consequences will be charged from his stupidity. "You know I love you,"
"Wow," You faked a laugh. Those laugh of yours was full of pain and betrayal. Carter had never seen you laugh so hostile and he wanted nothing more than to bring back the time and push Serena out of his way. "I've never heard that in months, Baizen."
"--When she told you to leave, you should have stayed." You muttered nonchalantly, voice all monotone and swerving his eyes as you stare at the parked car beside you. Your next words adding salt to the wounds he created. "So, you wouldn't have used somebody else's heart for the sake of your happiness,"
Traitors. Your tears were your best traitors because it fell before you could even know it. Carter tried to reach out for you, he planned to wipe away those tears that he happened to make. Though, all his plans were wasted when you pushed his hands away with fury. Spitting your next words like it was vile. "That is if you were even happy with me!"
Your tears were left to dry from the city's polluted air and Carter can do nothing but stare at how his girl was breaking because of his doing. It was all his fault. Everything was. "--Because you've meant the world to me, Carter." Your voice began to helplessly crack and Carter could only stare back at you with his bloodshot eyes. Everything you were saying was giving him pain because seeing you burst and cry in front of him was the last thing he wanted to see.
Yet, you still did and it was because of his mistakes.
It was like your hands have a mind of its own when it automatically lifted halfway through to wipe the subtle tears that fell on the sides of Carter's eyes. Though, he was quick to harshly wash it away with the back of his hands. Not wanting to let you see how bad you were breaking him but he was too late.
You choked in your own tears, as you stuttered. The undeniably painful truth was hurting you the most. "I-Is it because I'm not those high-socialites you've hanged out with?"
After a blink, another tear came flowing down your face. You were lucky you didn't use any mascara because if you did, you probably looked horrible as hell as of the moment. It was like your tongue felt numb, some kind of bane that poisoned your tongue from saying the next painful, distressing truth. "Or is it because I wasn't as beautiful as Serena or Blaire?"
From the moment you said those words, Carter was quick to grab your face with his soft palms, his Steele blue eyes completely broken in despair. Desperate to wash away those horrible thoughts that was haunting your self-confidence or yourself.
"D-Don't say that!" He pleaded, tenderly wiping your tears away with his thumbs. You gave in and let him hold you like you were fragile. You just missed how he cradled you when you were feeling down. The look in your eyes made him desperately scan your face. You bit your lip, attempting to stop the tears from falling but that just made it fall even more. "I-I know I am not the slightest ideal woman that you've ever wanted, Car." You paused, sniffing. "I have never been," You choked, voice cracking and sounding hoarse from the cries. "And the only useful thing that I could do was to love you unconditionally,"
Carter have desperately grabbed onto you, wrapping his desperate arms around you and constantly giving your forehead a lot of desperate kisses which came with his pleads. "No, no, no," His voice cracked as he sobbed through his beseeching. "I love you, Y/N."
"--I love you very much,"
He hugged you tight. So tight that you were wondering how you were able to breath. You could faintly smell the masculine, spicy scent of his cologne that you loved that was always trapped in your sheets whenever he came over to spend the night. Though, you might need to not get used it anymore.
"No,no,no.." Carter pleaded for the hundredth time, hastily grabbing your face and melting into his gorgeous, watery, Steel blue eyes. "Don't go. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It was all a misunderstanding! You got it all wrong--"
You blinked, hopelessly staring back into his eyes. Completely disappointed and broken. "I know what I saw, Carter! I'm poor, uneducated but not entirely stupid!" On a weak attempt, you grabbed onto his hands. Unclasping his hands as he dropped it on either side of him defeatedly.
Carter wanted nothing more than to keep you in his arms. His faithless eyes pierced into your pained heart, snapping the melancholy state of Carter Baizen, saving it inside the memories that you've been keeping to remember it forever.
"Good bye, Carter Baizen." You spun on your heels, another set of tears falling from the sides of your eyes like Niagara falls. Your next words seeming quieter as it cracked for the tenth time.
"I hope it hurts to think of me,"
Y/N hoped at the back of her mind. Wanting nothing more than for Carter Baizen to cry in his sleep. As he tries to remember how precious and important she ever was in his complicated life.
"What am I going to do without you?" Carter whispered, his breath hitting your ear. The both of you were cuddled in his king sized bed, his warmth was enveloping you in a hug. Not that he wasn't being the big spoon and you were the little spoon. You shivered as his fingers cascaded from your arms towards your back. The coldness of his rings was comforting you in a way that can make your heart beat pump so hard, knowing that only one touch can make you feel like you were in cloud 9. It was definitely the Baizen effect that only he can give.
You laughed ever so tiredly from your previous toing and froing beneath the sheets. "Probably crash and burn?"
"I bet cha', Baby." Carter chuckled, lifting his head to lightly kiss your naked shoulder.
Crash and burn. Well, the same goes for you if it was the other way around.
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HOW ANGSTY DO Y’ALL WANT IT? HEEHEE! FOLLOW MY BLOG! REBLOG AND COMMENT IF Y’ALL LOVED THIS! SEND ME AN ASK OR DM ME IF YOU WANNA BE TAGGED BY ALL OF MY WORKS! 
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YOU DESERVE ALL THE LOVE IN THE WORLD 🥺🥺🥺🥺
It's good that you're getting positive messages from everyone and I'm happy for you!!!
I hope you're resting well right now so you can have a bright day tomorrow!!
Even if life can be tough to you, I hope you remember that you're more than strong enough to push through the hardships!! I believe in you!!!
NOW SLEEP YOU ADORABLE PRECIOUS HUMAN BEING, YOU DESERVE IT!!! 💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨💕✨
ohnobrainemptyagain
......
FIRST OF ALL, YALL MAKING ME HAVE A HEART ATTACK RIGHT NOW AHHHH
My internet went down as soon as I tried tompost the reply and like- sir I.am.bery triggered I pout my soul and heart into this WHY
Anyway the thing is.
Thank you so much. You are all such amazing and kind people, and I am so happy I was abl to find a place to express myself and meet you all.
Istg y'all are giving me so much seratonin you're gonna put my pharmacy out of business!
These messages mean so much to me truly. They're what keep me going andake me inspired to work hard!
These few years have been pretty hard for me, I have to admit I was honestly not in a great place. But this year? Ever since I started the blog and met all of you, I've felt so much happier with my life.
Everytime one of you comments something, or sends me a request or hc (even the crazy chaotic ones) they make me feel so happy, as if for the first time there are actual people that do care about me and the things I do. It's been years since, well, people have been so nice to me like this, and I just. It makes me so happy.
To keep a long story short, thank you all for helping me. I am honestly super close to crying right now hehe sorry the night's got me all emotional, if I'm not careful I'll end up writing poems like Yoosung lmao.
You adorable bean remember to take care of yourself too.
And really. Thank you. Thank you for being so kind and supportive. Thank you for sending me these messages. Thank you all so much for being in my life and making it brighter. You honestly have no idea how much joy this brings to me, it may sound dumb but it's really helping me with everything! Thank you all for always helping me get through the hardships, and for letting me rant and post random jokes, and for helping me whenever I'm down. Thank you all so friggen much. I love you see much! 💞💞💞
Sorry for getting all emotional ajsjsjsj and if there are any typos it may be cuz muh vision is very blurry. Anyway thank you all once again. I'll go to sleep now since I gotta get up in four hours hehe. So much for going to bed early amiright?
Thank you. And I appreciate you all. Take care of yourselves and always remember that you're amazing, and you deserve everything in the world. 💕💕💕 Goodnight you wonderful people, I'll see you in the morning 😄
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despairtwiceeverlasting · 10 months ago
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https://youtu.be/WzcjCrmKBqg
First off, I would like to say that this will most likely be the softest you'll ever see despair. Actually, I'm putting despair down for this one. HI, I'm Jo, nice to meet y'all. Let the soft Jo hours begin.
The word of today is "Gentle"
I would like to say that CIX has done what MOST k-pop groups fail at. Giving a softer concept but it be more creative than just bright colors and/or old school vibes.
Today, CIX released their video for their 4th title track "Cinema" and it is everything. From top to bottom, it's so polished, and soft. The retro rhythms, mixed in with some modern accents make it sound like the song is trying to hug you. It has this nice smile inducing groove that makes you want to do just that. The video is so cute, it's all smiles; it shows CIX can be diverse (maybe not Jinyoung too much. He can't help but be rude, but it WAS less than normal lol.) The colors of the video were gorgeous but not too over the top. This aided in the gentle feeling the song gave. Honestly I wouldn't call it a cute concept. It was just...warm.
The album "Hello Chapter 0. Hello Strange Dream" is just as great as the rest of them. It is a variety of genre's, yet it all is cohesive. "Stairway to Heaven" has one of the most beautiful arrangements I've ever heard; and is the standout. Although, I will admit, three of the albums songs are in my "All time favorite list".
I am more than pleased. I am warm, and smiling, and pleased.
..................................................................................
I have been soft crying for about 2 hours now. I have toddler stomped. Danced to CIX's album with a giant toy bunny named Remy who is had tall as I am. And am having a hard time not smiling.
Jinyoung
I think the most endearing thing a person can do is try. He is trying so hard to be cute that it's adorable and I want to hug him to pieces. Also his singing has improved so much he did a little run that was noteworthy. I was like "Sannnnng!"
Seunghun
He is the puppy of the group anyway. He so adorable all the time that this was perfect for him. He radiates happiness, and that has always been a part of his presence rather on stage, or in a video.
Hyunsuk
There has never been a cuter tree. There is part of the choreography where he is in the middle abd he jumps and kicks he feet behind him. I actually squealed like a little girl kicking MY long ass legs like I was on a bike while grabbing Remy's (previously mentioned bunny friend) arm in a double grip.
BX
He roar!!!
He didn't rap in this song. He sang. It was good Also, he has the sweetest voice. When I watched it the first time, I became inconsolable. I had to stop it. His smile is so cute and his eye wrinkles. I love my Byounggosaurus-X. The cutest dinosaur that has ever walked the earth.
Yonghee
Hee Hee
I'm so impressed with him, his confidence has skyrocketed. His charisma is top notch, he's dancing better; he looks like he's more comfortable on stage. This is all I've ever wanted for him. This is the best part about this comback for me. I am a big UwU machine for Captain Hee Hee because I've seen him cry over not thinking he's as good as the others, so seeing his confidence is gonna make me cry this whole comback. Also they made his hair curly IT'S PRECIOUS AND I WANT TO PET HIM UNTILL MY ARM DETACHES ITSELF FROM MY SOFT SUNSHINE CANDY FLOSS HEARTED ASS BODY!!!
I have UWU'D to my grave and back.
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wikiangela · a year ago
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my thoughts as I was watching the episode (didn't feel like doing multiple posts, felt easier to do just one lol):
awww Dean has a dog 😍
Dean trying to make his bed cracked me up ngl
actually it's funny seeing them do such ordinary things lol
this dog is so cute I can't 😩😍😍
"Pie Fest" 😂 "this is my destiny" okay 🤣 so dramatic over pie, but that doesn't surprise me 😂
Sam THANK YOU for mentioning Cas (and Jack) 😭
Idk but I'm kinda loving that Dean's trying to live his life? "If we don't keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing" I mean that's true 🤔 (even though I'd love to see Cas back but not getting my hopes up)
pie in the face lol and Sam's laugh is so great haven't heard that in too long
(this post is gonna be long af 😂 it's been just 5 minutes hah)
"Singer and Kripke" aw cute
vamp-mimes cracks me up every time, even though I saw the sneak peak before 😂 and he's so serious when he says it hahaha
I cannot stress enough how I missed that about Dean
okaaay so vampires. cool.
is that the trenchcoat in the trunk? is it? it looks like it? IS IT? or am I just imagining things??!! I paused and I've been looking at it for like five minutes trying to figure out if it's the trenchcoat wtf (I mean would it even make sense? Cas was taken in that trenchcoat? unless he had a few? And, I mean, he had, right? it's all so blurry in my mind now, I need answers)
Sam, let Dean have fun for once, geez 🙄😂😂😂
I don't remember that girl (Jenny, was it?) (okay, I googled it, and I still don't remember her and what happened with her haha all I know is it was in season 1 so 💁‍♀️)
oh nevermind, she dead now (dead dead) so whatever
as soon as I saw the metal thingy (I'm an English major but somehow I can't remember what it's called in English or in my native language??) I knew what was gonna happen but...
NO DEAN BABY WHYYYYY 😭😭😭 he can't die like that noooooo
he's like, accepting that he's gonna die? omg I'm crying 😭😭😢
I'm literally sobbing right now and how is he dying its only been 20 minutes of the episodes what the fucking fuck how am I supposed to get through 20 more minutes
"don't leave me" omg Sammy 😭😭💔💔💔
"I can't do this alone"
"yes you can't"
"well, I don't want to"
where have I heard that before? 🤔😭😭💔
"I love you so much my baby brother" is that the first time Dean said that to Sam in the show? I'm pretty sure I don't remember him saying that before - and I am crying so hard I can barely see what I'm writing thank God for autocorrect 😅
nooo Dean 💔💔😭 my favorite character since the moment I saw him and now he's dead and I wasn't emotionally prepared for that and how am I supposed to just go about my day later this is the worst why are they doing this I hate how attached I got to this show and the characters FUCK
And my mom called me just as Sam was about to burn Dean's body and I had to pretend like I'm okay. I WANT TO GO BACK TO THIS MORNING BEFORE I DECIDED TO WATCH THE EPISODE FUCK
so Sam's alone now, with the dog
but my question is: What the hell happened to Eileen? weren't they, like, in love? didn't she come back? (I feel like we actually don't know so I'm seriously asking) why isn't she there? wtf if I don't see Cas or Destiel, at least let me see my girl Eileen at the end 😭 and Sam being happy with her
baby's grieving and I cannot stand to see him so sad SOMEONE GIVE HIM A HUG (or me, I could use a hug too 😔)
I physically cannot stand seeing Jared cry - I feel like I'm literally falling apart
WHY IS THIS SO SAD wasn't it enough that we have to say goodbye to the show? couldn't those be happy tears about a happy end? THEY DON'T DESERVE THIS
okay, "agent Bon Jovi" made me chuckle through tears, I LOVE DEAN SO MUCH
lights out in the bunker made me cry even more
DEAN'S IN HEAVEN
BOBBY
OG BOBBY
ARE YOU KIDDING
idjit 😭😭😭😭😭😭 I missed him much more than I expected omg
"that kid of yours" I. am. not. okay.
Jack setting things right, I love it ❤️ thank you for Bobby 😭😭😭
"everyone happy, everyone together" is it everyone though?🙃
"the Heaven you deserve" DAMN RIGHT HE DOES
"CAS HELPED" I CANNOT HANDLE THIS
right now I would just like to take a second to appreciate how fucking hot and handsome and beautiful Jensen is because I needed to pause and calm down a little and focus on something else
and Jensen is fucking gorgeous and Iove his fucking smile and his fucking lips - you know, when I started watching it, for about the first season I had to rewind every time Dean was talking because I couldn't focus on anything but his lips hahaha good times, wish I could forget about this show and watch it all over again and get supper annoyed at everything all over again but I still love this show more than any other even though I've been watching it only for the past 2 years haha
I think I'm good, back to watching:
I don't think I can express how I missed the og Bobby ❤️
AND BABY'S THERE OH YEAH
that smile, Dean/Jensen ugh you're killing me
"Hey Baby" ❤️❤️
CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SOOOON THERE'LL BE PEACE WHEN YOU ARE DONE
AND I JUST STOPPED CRYING AND NOW IT STRTED AGAIN AAGGHCHFJHSH
"love this song" me too, Dean, me too 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️
(wow, too much emojis, bitch, chill)
baby Dean that's too much
and Sam seems so happy 😭😭
but who's the wife, please tell me it's Eileen, I miss her where is she that's not fair
Sam as a dad is just so precious and cute and so fucking great I can't 😭😭❤️❤️ love that for him ❤️
but why aren't there any pics of Cas and Jack? C'mon, Sam 🙄 (I mean, there surely were some pics of them, we know for a fact there was at least that one Cas picture in a cowboy hat so there should me more ugh)
"it's okay, you can go now" why are doing this to me again
I mean, I'm happy that Sam got to live his life to the end and died of natural causes or old age or whatever
brothers togheter again 😭😭
I'm a mess
also, let me just ask, WHERE'S THE ANGEL
WHERE THE FUCK IS CAS
just a cameo at the very end would be great
"and cut" this made me cry again fuck
so that's the end, huh? brothers together again, in Heaven?
well, I choose to believe that at some point they reunited with Cas, too and that's that
overall, it was not what I expected, and I didn't have much hope for destiel but I hoped for some acknowledgment of his confession by Dean or at least a cameo
I mean, he's been one of the main characters for so long and they didn't even have him in the finale? and he was mentioned literally twice?????!?? FUCK YOU WRITERS
so, I didn't love it, but I didn't hate it that much, is was meh, It wasn't a good conclusion to the show and I'll be bitter about Cas till the day I die and I didn't like how Dean died, I mean, he was literally impaled, in my opinion it wasn't "going out in the blaze of glory" like he always wanted
this is a long post, I'm not even gonna reread before posting, but those were my genuine reactions haha
if you read it, wow, I'm so sorry haha
now I need to lie down and cry before I can function again and do my homework so that's fun
I'll see y'all in your notes as I reblog every fucking thing about 15x20 😊👌
just one more thing at the end:
THIS SHOW RUINED ME AND I STILL LOVE IT WHY AM I LIKE THIS
anyway, I'm gonna go cry now hahahaha I'm not okay
I'm gonna live in denial about Cas not being there haha
I hope the rest of the spn family is holding up somehow because I'm losing it and I need some fix it destiel fics asap
okay not gonna make this longer haha
bye, have a good day 🙂👍❤️ (don't mind me, I'm losing my mind)
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shinaus · 8 months ago
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Hey, no feeling bad over your feelings. All of them are valid and important. Let's be honest: it sucks right now. It really does. Everyone gets to a point where looking at a half-full cup gets tiring, I would know. And you know what? It's normal. Your brain is telling you you've had enough. I feel partly at fault for always praising how positive you are even in bad times as it may influence you but please know you have every right to vent, cry, do whatever you want and it won't take away from what makes you so amazing. Negative feelings aren't often acknowledged as important but they are because that's how you express your burdens and let them out when even the things you enjoy aren't enough to distract you anymore. You're trying, you're fighting a shitty situation and no one is looking down on you for being human. And I'll always be here to support you, my precious kitty. Love - your Toshi 💜
i — first of all i'm really going to cry right now i literally love you so much
but i want to get something straight before i go off on a ramble again. nothing about how i'm feeling is your fault, okay? that i can promise you, if anything your kind words have encouraged me to keep being that way and push forward when i'm not feeling my best and it's made a lot of shitty days brighter.
okay now if y'all want to see me go off on probably my biggest tangent, here it is lmao
with making this blog, i often push being all positive and optimistic because i know how hard it is for everyone right now, especially with the pandemic and those who may still be stuck in a tough situation because of it. i know how it feels to not feel right where i am and was lucky enough to change it right before this all started, even with my situation still not being even remotely close to ideal lmao. so for those who are unable to right now and need or seek out any comfort — if i can play a role in that, then i will. i do want to make it clear i in no way believe anyone should ignore their negative emotions, but if i can make someone forget about feeling bad even for a few moments then i'll do it. i used to spend so much time coming on here as a reader and fan of other writers, knowing that their work would bring me that feeling, so being one of those people now, i want to do right for anyone who was like me — which is one of the reasons why i usually dip off when i feel sad, i project more often than not and hate the idea of worrying anyone mostly
do i feel good and positive all the time? absolutely not, who does! some days, especially right now, are worse than others. i'm constantly worrying about almost everything in my real life. but i get through it, try not to dwell — and seek that same comfort in things much like i know those other people do too (funnily enough, one of those and my biggest just so happens to be you). anyways, i'll fully fuck off now since you've been at the brunt of my mindless spiels for two nights in a row now, i apologise sweet hitoshi anon. just know that you mean the whole world to me, as do your words. and i love you so much, i'll always feel the luckiest for getting to have you 🤍
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sweetaliencheeks · a year ago
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THE ONE WHERE THEY RUN AWAY
There I stood, enveloped in white garments and turquoise jewelry. The best day of my life, and I was shaking from head to toe, hair sticking to the sweat that ruined the make up on my forehead. Fresh colourful flowers drip carefully around my arms and rested peacefully on my hands. Outside, the weather was lovely, not too cold, not too warm. And it was hard to distinguish the peaceful music from the singing birds that sat upon the tree branches and looked down at the orchestra. What else could I ask for? He was looking at me the whole time I got ready. Eyes scrutinizing every move that I made, a dark brown glimmering in the sunlight. My heart was filled with joy and light with peace just with the idea of his presence. I loved Rocket so dearly. I rested the tiara on top of my head and, as I dropped the veil over my face, I smiled at my lover. I could finally let out the invisible tears as I whispered a weak I'm ready that only he could hear. The best day of my life. My shoes clicked against the perfectly polished parquet, mixing harmoniously with the chatter of the people downstairs as I approached the party. Before I hit the first step, I turned around towards him, he looked so handsome. The flower on his jacket matched the ones on my clothes and hair. I swallowed a sob and faked a smile I knew he couldn't see.
"Goodbye, Rocky" he simply nodded, and I did the same. It was wrenching. My stomach was on fire and I genuinely felt like I was going to simply tumble down the stairs as I took yet another step towards my future husband. I wave a white gloved hand at my family, my friends and the hundreds of people I had never seen before. Everyone seemed so joyful.
"Remember dear, this is the most important day of your life" as I reached the last step, my grandmother rushed over to me, hands fidgeting around my sleeves "You must be conscious and confident" I nodded, letting her down was the last thing on my list.
"I know nana, I am aware and I consent to this marriage" the shaking in my voice gave away just enough for her to rest a cold and caloused hand on my cheek. I flinched.
"You can only do this once, make sure he's the right one" I had no need for those words to make me aware of how I felt. I knew how I felt. I knew why I was putting myself in that situation. I knew how important this was for the kingdom, and for my father, and for my future. I knew that Rocket must had been long gone by the time I reached the bottom of the stairs. And yet, I snapped. I looked at the three women that had come up and were chatting around me, or at me? I hadn't been listening.
"I thought that it was only other people's weddings that were boring" I blurted out with a fake laugh, they let out squeaky and forced giggles and I took the chance to bow to them and excuse myself to leave "I must go upstairs to retrieve something" climbing up the stairs two steps at a time, it felt like kilometers before I reached my bedroom. Because what better place to cry than the place where I had spent the last night with the love of my life? Shutting the door behind me, I found myself face to face with a box on top of my pillow. I leaped on my bed and wiped the tears from my cheeks before removing the lid.
"In case he gets up your ass" was written on the note that was carefully positioned on top of the blaster. It was shiny and felt cold as I picked it up. I thought that, in any other occasion or if it had been offered by somebody else, it would have been a fiercely odd gift. But from Rocket, who knew me inside and out, and was aware of how much of a mistake this marriage was going to be, it felt strangely comforting. I had to find him. I rushed in and out of evry single room of the first floor. Numerous bedrooms and bathrooms and living rooms and libraries and bureaux and closets and rooms devoid of all furniture but riddled with spider webs, empty. All of them. The crushing weight of defeat started to linger in my bones as I began to realize that it was over. And the second the penny dropped for real and I accepted that he was gone, the numb sensation at the tip of my fingers started to spread even faster. But then I remembered. Focusing all that was left from my strenght, I sprinted to the topfloor. A large green house, up on the roof and filled with all the flowers and plants one could find in the Galaxy.
"Rocket!" breathless, I screamed for his name as soon as I spotted him from the top of the stairs, leaning peacefully over the rail and looking down on the garden where the doomed ceremony was about to begin "Get your guns out"
"Woah, slow down (y/n), your husband might hear ya" he chuckled. But it was dry, and his voice was shaken. And when he turned around to look at me, I wished the fur around his eyes had been dry, too.
"We can joke later, just do it" I ran to peak over his shoulder, people were starting to look for me. My throat tightened.
"Hey, I know what I wrote, your highness. But it's a bit early to shoot the husband, ain't it?" I could see him standing at the altar. The same pale blue skin, the same full moustache, the same shit eating grin, the same everything that had made me nausious from day one. I shuddered and set my eyes back to Rocket.
"He is not my husband, now do as I say" I pushed the tiny button and my blaster started whirring, powering up for whatever was to come. Rocket looked up at me, puzzled, before sighing and pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Right... I never thought I'd say this, but why would we need guns at a wedding?" it was indeed strange to hear the first person to get a gun out at a funeral ask me why we needed guns at a wedding.
"Because we're running away" I ruffled the fur at the top of his head and bent offer to untie my shoes and remove them. They were nice and comfortable, but if I was about to make a run for both my freedom and my life, then I had no choice but to leave them behind. The music had now stopped and the soft chatter had been replaced by hundreds of voices echoing with my name.
"Did you trip and hit your giant head?" his eyes were still as confused as he stood there staring at me, hoping for an explanation that I wasn't sure of being ready to give him yet.
"We're leaving Rocky, now!" I look down at my blaster again. It feels hotter now, and somehow heavier? Probably signs that it was ready to be used.
"Thank you for this by the way"
"I's nothing" he shrugged "Figured you gotta protect yourself if I'm not around" he kicked a small stone across the white tiles and dropped his gaze to watch it roll until it hit the wall.
"Guess I won't need it then" I said with a small smile. The expression on his face was killing me. He was still convinced that I was leaving him, probably wondering what was wrong with me to have the guts to come find him and hurt him even more. It felt like I was throwing salt into an open wound. He deserved the truth, so I smiled and mustered all of my courage to look into his eyes "Because I'm counting on having you around for a long time"
"Like what?" he snorted "Under the bed?" he half heartedly joked.
"More like, on the bed" I said with a wink, a futile attempt to lighten the atmosphere and set the mood to finally tell him that I wanted a lifetime with him.
"Not sure how handsome four arms down there is gonna feel about that" he snorted again, pointing a thumb at the hartless man everyone had expected me to marry. At that point in time, I began to feel the pressure of what I was about to do. I couldn't tell if he was being funny to avoid the main subject because he didn't like me like that and was afraid of having to tell me so, or if he was simply oblivious to my obvious and unashamed fondness towards him.
"You really are an idiot, aren't you?" I knelt down before him, my clothes pooling around me as if I was sitting on a cloud. I reached for one of the flowers on my hair and set it on top of his head "I don't want to marry him, I want to run away" I looked down at my hands and felt him follow my gesture, he said nothing. I looked back up at him, exasperation getting more and more obvious "With your dumb face" I closed my eyes in anticipation. It felt like those awfully long seconds between diving head first into a swimming pool and the moment your body actually touches the water.
"Oh" and that was all he said for what seemed to be an eternity. I picked another flower from my crown and put it next to the other one on his head "You're beyond great, Rocket, and I really like you... But as I say it out loud, I've come to realize that it doesn't sound nowhere near enough so in other words, I fancy you, I want you, I need you. I whatever you!" I felt like I was nearly screaming at him and I was so taken away in my own passion, that I failed to notice the tears rolling cold down my cheeks "I love you, and I can't be without you, ok? So get your fucking guns out and run away with me" and as I noticed said tears, I noticed his as well and rushed over to dry them with my thumbs "I'm so so-, I didn't mean to make you cry" I didn't know how to react. I didn't know why he was crying, or if it was entirely my fault, hell, I didn't even know he could cry at all! He lifted his hands to hold both my wrists.
"It ain't that, I think I'm just happy" he sniffled. My hands had slid down to stay set on his shoulders, and the urge to hug him was growing urgent. And the moment his eyes met mine shining brighter than any jewel I had ever seen, I pulled him to me. The fur on his cheeks wetting my chest with the tears from seconds before. His heart drummed violently against mine and I could feel his claws tangle in my clothes. And everything stopped. There were no voices, no fears, no kingdom, no power, no nothing. There was just him.
"There, enough with the emotional exchange, I'm glad I could get this out of my chest" I said as I stood up "Now let's go, this wedding is not gonna blast itself" removing whatever jewellery and flowers were left on my body, I dusted myself off.
"Yeah, yeah" Rocket straightened the collar of his suit and fixed the fur on his face before leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest and a deeper tone in his voice "Serious talk though" he looked up at me "I'm all for blasting and stuff. But then what? You know that loverboy there is crazy about ya, he's gonna get all the jackasses that work for him on our tail" he scratched the back of his neck and I looked away, searching for a better answer than the one I was about to give him. Rocket was right, but I had total and infinite trust and faith in his capacity to keep us both safe. For as much as I wanted to tell him, I didn't know how to put into words the fact that I was more than ready to face all the Universe if I had to just to say that I got to spend one more night at his side.
"I keep telling you, then we run away" I shrugged "If you take me that is" I said with a smile before bending over to kiss him right between his eyes.
"Oh I'll take you alright" a so familiar whirring rang through my ears and caused all the windows to vibrate and all the guests to scream. All the guests but two. One was my nana who contently sipped in a hot cup of pansy flower tea just under the giant willow tree, and the other was my never-to-be-husband who stood as stoic and as physically unappealing as he did before. The loud purring made my heart warm and my eyes were filled with a whole new batch of fresh tears as I saw his spaceship start to light up on the other side of the garden "All the way back home"
This is very long & I'm sorry. It was vaguely inspired by a weird ass dream I had the other night. The confinement is driving me insane. But it has to be done! Anyways, I hope you enjoy it. × Please stay safe wherever you are & keep shining, my precious little space babies! Love y'all 🤍
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hxmestxck · a year ago
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I'm falling asleep and just kinda wanna organize these thoughts before I put them anywhere too serious but
Rhett and links recent podcasts on religion, and my work environment(an assisted living) has really made me think a lot about religion lately, and not in a negative light! Well not completely, just .. in a weird way, there's a reason this is a rough draft lmao
Anyway, I was raised in the south my family were all religious folk but I got lucky and they were still black sheep's but all still greatly believe in god, and let me be clear that I think that's fine, in a lot of ways I think religion is cool because it gives people purpose and I support that, it's just there's a lot of things I really... really .. really... don't agree with.
Because they affect me personally, and almost every single person I've ever loved.
I am fully out of the closet this year as a lesbian, in a almost 9 month relationship with a woman I love and plan to marry, want to spend the rest of my life with. I found out a lot of people... Marry because like... of god, like they think they are supposed to do that ? I didn't know that. They think like ... they're purpose is to... raise kids or something like that? That's really weird to me. In Rhett and links podcasts Rhett says something along the lines of after him and Jessie realized religion didn't play the role in their life anymore that it once did it was like ... okay why are we together then, and gave their marriage kinda a second wind as they rediscover why they loved each other... And that concept... is so bizzare to me? I cannot imagine being with someone for any fact except that you love them and they make you happy ? And that y'all complement each other? I aboustely love my soon to be wife more than ... anything ? And I... I cAnnot imagine being with someone that didn't make me happy and make me a better person ?
At my work I have a favorite resident that i refer to as my pretend grandma, and she will never ever know I am gay, and that pains me, that I can't tell her the truth about who I am and who I love. She is worried that some of our residents are gay together and says she feels and for them, that she supposes there isn't anything wrong with being gay except the bible says it's wrong, and that it wouldn't send you yo hell, but that this other resident she is referring too is such a precious Christian and she would hate to see her lead an unhappy life. I understand this mindset is coming from a place of love, of what she was taught while being brought up and she truly just wants this other resident to lead a happy life, but it's so bizarre to me. My pretend grandma says that this other resident said it's the happiest she has been, ever. And I'm like, same, ever since my wife moved in I've been fantastic, she has made my life so much better i cannot even believe it. So to hear my pretend grandma worry... that this resident won't be happy... after the resident stated she is literally the happiest she's ever been???
In the Rhett and links podcast they talk about how they couldn't accept that someone they love and care about, stevie, wasn't accepted by the church and...
I just almost want To cry that it's such a relief to know that some people I love and look up too and am so emotionally invested in, feel the same way about religion as I do, and support me, in a few senses.
I questioned god a lot but I was about 14 or 15 when I was having major aniexty attacks over it all the time that I was going to hell for being myself even though I was doing literally nothing wrong, and I wasn't aware I was gay at that point in my life, I was crying for my friends, I was crying for everyone that is different but so genuinely amazing and wonderful that they were all.. going to hell? For what!
I hate the exact truth in what made me finally say enough is enough because it was about 2011 and I was watching an onision video about religion, looking for answers and at that time he was just the banana guy so please forgive me, I don't remember what he said or what the video was but I took a deep breath in and i said I am tired of feeling guilty for being alive.
I don't feel like there is no god, I think we got here somehow but i dont think it's a rude ass guy in the sky that hates gay people and thinks men are more powerful than women. It's not what media has made god. And in this way religion is sad to me. I feel like a lot of people are lying to themselves and religion is used as a way of... keeping people.. under a belt or something. I feel lucky from a young age I knew that wasn't it, and I never agreed with it or felt like it was right to hate people for no reason.
My favorite story about myself when I was little is being my girl barbies kiss and crying because I didn't think anyone should go to hell for that, and I was and 10. It's so funny to me it took me so long to realize i was gay but I honestly think it was things like being told it was wrong that kept that at bay in my mind but I always knew I thought girls were pretty a little differently than everyone else did.
I think I just want to say I look forward to a future where people realize i AM happy accepting myself as a gay woman, I am not living in misery, I wanted to kill myself in the summer and have suffered from depression most of my life, and love is not a cure for mental illness but my girlfiend makes everything so much better, and I think it's silly that someone could see that as a negative. We, all of us different folks, were okay, and we would not hate ourselves if we weren't taught it was wrong we would not have this internalized self hatred and doubt if we were not taught we as people are ... wrong. And I hope everyone can start to see us, happy with those that we love.
And not just gay people, people of color, my trans sisters and brothers, ace, all of us DIFFERENT FOLK, we are human and we deserve to love and be happy.
May I also point out I'm aware so many people think they're doing whats right and are speaking of a place of love, my pretend grandma genuinely wants that other lady to be happy and okay, but I'll die on my lesbian bed for the day you all see... we are happy and okay.
None of this is from a place of hate, I genuinely appreciate everyone and their veiw points, I encourage anyone that was nuts enough to read this to not harbor hate in your heart and think from other perspectives as well.
Thank you
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thehunternovels · a year ago
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I am a damn bastard.
The man who get fucked with thousand girls, used, be the king of their head, a dark prince for their life, setted all the lies and tried to forget what he tried to kept away from his mind.
Hey.
It's me, Damon could be so simple after all, so I rather to say that I write with the girl's fingers I tried to kept away from my mind one time.
I wanna start to this with the closest past for y'all,
I've been a daddy, I'd like to say, at least I was about to, until I lost Alexander in his mother's tummy.
I felt him in my veins.
I've searched for a million of diet, what's the best for Alena, what's not right if I could just hurt my son with my only one move inside of her mother's body.
I've seen a little baby, in his mother's womb.
Can you believe it?
I bet you don't.
So I'm gonna make it more clear for you.
You can't call it as a reincarnation, get it out of your mind girl, my life is full of lies expect only one fact:
''I'm in love with you Alena Michaelson.
I'm in love with you like I've never been, never will.
You are my damn, second love, yes, but I don't count your doppelganger as my first though, you will always gonna be my first.''
First body that I've touched freely,
Loved,
Caress her hair,
Kiss her cheeks, beautiful cherry lips,
Getting approach to her forehead, and then, catch her eye,
Whisper to her ears, that her white, vampire skin has covered,
And say like: ''Good morning princess.''
Yes, yes, I say it every damn single morning I spent with her.
With my little wife.
That I owe her my life.
I'm listening 8MM, AROUND THE SUN, by writing this letter for my beloved Alena's Wattpad story, it makes me cry but song always rewinds back and I cannot take my fingers out of the keyboard.
I know you are confused, but every thing has an alignment, am I right?
She talked with the boy which she thought it could be the body I've lost, and the things that this boy had said to her, got my mind and pushed me down like a motherfucker.
'Damon is using you,' he said.
You are right dude, I am using her.
I am using the only girl in my life, I am using the only person I have beside me that I abonded all of my family and chose this girl, fucked them all, my brother was a troublemaker anyway, but yes! I fucked my sister out of my life just because of I use Alena.
Do you really think, dude?
After all of the crying, human feeling part, I stopped and thought for this one moment.
Alena was the one to make me calm and caress my chin at the bus that we got in to reach home.
I'm totally distracted right now.
Damn man, someone texted to my girl on Youtube, saying like: ''Just be normal, it is not that much hard, isn't it?''
Here is the cause his sentence wasn't make sense at all, I recorrect it, and I will give his reply later and his fingers are gonna regret to write those words to my precious girl.
That gets me fall apart.
But I can make it up to you guys.
Since I got into be that human, my feelings got even deeper than usual. As I lost my innocence with Alena, I was the happiest man, and now I am really wondering what would have happened if I was the human I am now, before I lost my virginity with her?
If one person is your first, it has to be your 'real first' in 'all means', man.
Literally.
There is too many things for me to tell and I'm not really an excellent writer like her, but I'll try my best for her, so let's get back to the point where all has started.
 I found this girl....
Whaaat?
This girl?
No fucking way in hell or heaven, she is just not a girl.
Let's take it back as you saw I don't make simple sentences.
I found the precious, one and only angel in the planet at 6 of May, 2006.
I was stalking my little girl which I took a mission as making this soul right by being her guider.
And I did.
But it didn't end well.
My brother ruined every shit.
Six years older than me, turning my life into a hell, make me wanna puke to my shoes every time, even at the moment I think I'm gonna be happy for the first time..
He broked Alena.
Yes, her virginity.
I'm not Alena's first mentally, but bodily, Aaron did that.
He stole the woman I call as 'my first love', which she get caught cheated with my brother, by me, right after there is a death, by me again, however it doesn't make sense I killed Alena's twin in the 16th century, but yeah I did this job once I was regretful for, but not any more.
I thought Aaron never would find my girl. As this was my mission, not his, but somehow he did, did and screwed me up all over again.
I got up.
For once in my life, felt this way expect all the facts spinning around me: Aaron got Alena, broked her, wasted her, and lived in her body for months.
Non of them does matter anymore, my princess will explain with the all details above all this story about my brother, the disgusting man that I won't ever call as my 'brother' again.
But however I do.
Because some things never change..
As much as my love against Alena. This will never change.
I got tortured in time by my cabin, and now I am nothing but a human like y'all readers of my girl.
Yes, I kinda gave up from my creation effect for the one I love.
If I have to be a little bit more clear, once we did find my body.
This unnecessary human's name is starts with a capital A. I believe I wouldn't call him unnecessary only if I was using his body still.
He fired me out.
Fucked me up, actually, as much as my brother did. To be honest this one was even worse than the events I've lived before.
The only moment I thought I saved Alena, myself, and our future was the day of my damn birthday. Last one, I've lived in a body that could have been actually hold by my girl's arms.
It kills me anytime it comes to my mind, makes me maybe WEAKER, but need you to know, nobody should know my weak spot, expect her, nobody will, I got those enemies beside me, can't take anything back.
Only a few things what came real to me, was my girl and me, my son whom never had been born and died in his mother's womb, which that was my stupidity, I can't ever blame my little girl for this.
I've been guiding Alena, while she is living her first, seeing the unbelievable, learning all the cool languages, got attention in the high school with the newest style, tripping around whole world just to confront my eyes..
She choose all of this just to be with me, and she did. Yeah, she's been with me for a damn thirteen years, three..
FOUR.
Four, bloddy months. We just got in five days ago.
Happy birthday my lovely wife.
I call this wish from here because a couple of nights I couldn't be able to complete this letter.
But now I am.
And I need you to know that..
You are reading the luckiest and happiest man's letter in the whole planet right now.
Whatever happens, you will always gonna be mine.
This was our story behind my mouth,
What's yours, my deary princess?
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