#At least I didn't need to stay up at night because anxiety

[queers-gambit]

Lost and Found

prompt: ( requested ) you're just friends, but on your first night at Saltburn, you get lost in the vast halls and accidentally walk in on lover boy after a bath. he wants you to stay.

pairing: Felix Catton x female!reader

fandom masterlist: Saltburn

word count: 3.6k+

note: this SHOULD'VE gotten slutty, but it DIDN'T because i'm back in the hospital and the LAST thing i need is a nurse walking in on me writing fucking smut - oh, my God, can you imagine? new fear unlocked!

warnings: RIP Queen Lizzie, cursing, sexual tension, emotions are hard, Lord's name in vain, depiction of mental illness (anxiety), author throws in a little personal detail cause writing is therapy.

"Honestly, who lives in a place like this? The bloody Queen, that's who. Her and all her fucking rooms! Jesus!" You grumbled, dipping down another winding hallway. "All right, this looks familiar, that's... Encouraging, right?" You frowned, glass of water in hand after venturing to the kitchen to fetch it - but now, you couldn't navigate your way back to your room. "Of course," you growled quietly, opening a door and finding a linen closet.

How silly, in a place like this! A fucking linen closet!

You huffed and shut the door, feeling incredibly awkward and terribly misplaced. You mind screamed that didn't belong here, you never should've set foot in a place like this! How fucking foolish you felt, like a silly little girl who was just excited her crush spoke to her, let alone invited you home with him for the summer holiday.

But it was Felix fucking Catton - certified enigma. He was all man with a boyish charm who smiled at you on move-in day at Oxford and sealed your fate. He was ridiculously nice, so very sweet, borderline annoying with his giving nature and kindness. He was loyal to a fault, intuitive, observant, admirably carefree, and so very happy to give his love to anyone who needed it. For a few weeks, you felt almost offended by his attention, wondering what kind of broken soul he thought you were; knowing he had an affinity for "damaged" or "broken" things.

At least, that's what his cousin, Oxford's registered and certified catty bitch, Farleigh Start, teased you about relentlessly when he noted the way Felix hung around you. Felix invited you out with friends, offered to study together, walked you to and from classes - even if his were in the literal opposite direction. You had no honest idea how the two were related, given Farleigh's constant attitude and Felix's overwhelming kindness, but that wasn't for you to understand. You just relished the attention Felix bestowed in-between your skepticism.

And here you are, your first night in his home, Saltburn, completely lost and totally turned-around! You didn't need water all that bad, did you? Granted, you had a several tablets to take that evening to maintain your health, but you could've used the fucking sink in the adjoining bathroom! You grew frustrated the more doors you opened, finding empty rooms or closets or another fucking library or studies or whatever! As if this home wasn't big enough, there were multiple levels and all you knew was that you and Felix were both located on the same floor with his parents above you and his sister and Farleigh beneath.

So, that helped.

But you still felt so fucking silly.

Seriously, who got LOST in someone else's home!? Fools, that's who!

Okay, okay, okay, you didn't need to be so hard on yourself, but you grew nervous and fearful for a reason you didn't understand. Your anxiety was planted in your stomach, festering, growing, taking over you to the point that you had tears in your eyes when you found yet ANOTHER fucking study!

"Oh, even the bloody fucking Queen doesn't have this many useless rooms, and she's a much bigger family, Jesus fucking Christ," you sneered to yourself - ready to give up and just sleep in one of the empty rooms. But you didn't want Duncan finding you in the morning, asking questions, forcing you to admit you were lost - you felt humiliated enough as it was! And that was without anyone witnessing this absolute mess you had made!

Well, not technically a mess - but you felt like a mess the more you crept around. And now, you felt fucking creepy - like some stalker, sneaking around the halls, trying to spy on this very nice family. You knew you weren't, but the feeling was still there - fucking anxiety would honestly be the death of you.

However, you came upon a familiar (enough) door that had a gentle light emitting from under it. With a sigh of relief, you suddenly remembered leaving a light on for yourself to return to; reaching for the doorknob, twisting it, and darting into the room while swiftly swinging the door close - but halting it to shut quietly as to not disturb anyone in the empty halls.

Yeah, anxiety was a bitch.

"Ohh-ho, evenin', love," a voice greeted, making you gasp, jump, and twist around. "Miss me that much? Heard the drain on the tub, didn't yah, had to come sneak a peek?"

Felix fucking Catton stood at the end of a messy bed in all his glory, running a towel through his wet curls. Nothing obscuring your sight, nothing hiding his manhood, nothing - literally nothing on his body except a shit-eating grin.

"Jesus, Fi! Fuck, I-I-I'm so - um," you gulped, trying not to ogle him, but failing (miserably) when beads of water rolled between the contours of his impossibly impressively sculpted muscles. "I just - you know, this place is so bloody big - um, I'm sorry - I just... Yeah..."

He smirked, nodding sarcastically, "Uh-huh. And you just happened to stumble into my room? Pretty good timing, too, wasn't it?"

You squeaked, "I didn't mean to! I swear - Felix, I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to, um, yeah, you know - uh..."

"Like what you see, sweetheart? Why don't you come in closer, get a better look?"

You adverted your eyes out of respect and fumbled messily for the door handle. "Oh, sweet Jesus. Bloody house is just too bloody big, I got all turned around - just needed some water and I just - fuck, I'm sorry - "

"Hey, hey," Felix chuckled, wrapping his towel loosely around his hips so his V-line was still on raunchy display, "I'm only teasin', love. I know this place can get confusin' t'newcomers. I actually meant to grab you some water, know you gotta take your tablets."

You swallowed your embarrassment, sighing, "I'll just - yeah - no - I'll, um, just go - I'm so sorry, again."

"You know where you're goin' all of a sudden?"

You faced the door, not wanting to make him uncomfortable, shaking your head gently, "Well, no, but I'll figure it out - I left a, um, I left a light on, you know, to help - I don't know - uh, guide me?"

"You've not stuttered this much since we first met," he laughed, tugging a pair of boxers on for your sanity (and to your dismay). "I'm dressed, doll, you can look at me now. C'mon, bit weird talkin' to your back."

"We're not talking, Felix, I'm going to bed."

"Then why haven't you left yet?"

You blinked at the intricately carved door, realizing your hand was still on the knob, but it hadn't turned. "I didn't want to be so rude as to just walk out, mid-sentence!"

"Hey, hey, you're all right, darlin', I'm only teasin'," he grinned, hearing his bare feet pad over the ground before his warm hand wrapped around your elbow. "C'mon, love, hang with me a bit - 's not that late, is it?"

"Oh, so, Duncan can walk in? Make his assumptions?" You whispered, slowly facing him and leaning back on the door with a pout. His big, brown, doe-eyes stared directly into yours, making you feel under his spotlight - something akin to a privilege, since Felix Catton didn't bestow his attention on everyone. "I just needed water, I didn't mean t'get, you know, lost like this. Seriously, this place looks totally different at night."

"Surprised you even got this far, huh?"

"I looked in any room with an open door," you admitted with a small wince. "I felt so creepy, but I was all turned around - and you know, you shouldn't leave other lights on in rooms not being used. Terrible waste of energy."

"Awh, my sweet, environmentally-conscious girl," he cooed, hand raising to gently pinch your jaw. There was a serene moment, the pair of you just staring at one another, becoming acutely aware that he was still practically naked. "C'mon, don't leave yet, we can play cards if you like?"

"I've medicine t'take - "

"Right, right, right," he nodded, letting his hand drift to hold your neck in a gentle grasp. "Tell you what, you stay here, I'll grab your meds, and bring them back? You keep 'em in that li'l pink bag, yeah?"

"I don't know how to feel that you know which is my med bag," you narrowed your eyes playfully.

"Just shows I pay attention, don't it?"

"Maybe shows we spend too much time together?"

He kissed his teeth, grinning at you, "There's no such thing - in fact! I reckon we could double our time together and it still wouldn't feel like enough."

"Well, how's that help me later? I still don't know where my room is - oh, don't laugh!" You groaned, Felix snickering louder. "Fi, c'mon, it's not funny - this place is huge! Like, illegally huge!"

He cooed, "Oh, doll, 'M not laughing at you, promise. Just... You're not the first person t'get lost here, yeah?"

You scoffed with severe discomfort, "I really don't want t'hear 'bout all the other girls you've brought home - "

"Hey, now," he cut you off swiftly, "don't do that." He shrugged meekly, "There's been no others, just friends. Mine, Farleigh's, Venetia's... They've all gotten lost once or twice... Or that time we had to actually draw Reggie a map, poor lad got lost around every bend."

You rolled your eyes, "Truly expect me to believe that, do you?" Then you let your eyes widen a fraction, teasing, "Oh, wow, you really believe it! You really believe you haven't brought home other girls who you're interested in or who are into you?"

He crowded you into the door, shifting the room's energy to something sultry, making you hold your breath as his hand slid into your hair. "You know you're the only one, right?"

"You know that's absolute bullshite, right? Like, what a fucking line!"

He tisked, "C'mon, doll."

"Be honest, Felix."

His head cocked, "Want the truth?"

"That'd be a nice change of pace."

He scoffed lightly, "I don't give a single fuck if any of our previous guests cared for me - only you. Hear me?" He took the last step so he was stood with his feet slotted between yours. "I didn't bring them here for any other reason than friendly entertainment. You've seen the place, as big as it is, can get a bit lonely without anyone to hang with. But I asked you here... For different reasons..." He whispered, eyes jutting down to your lips as he kept a firm hold on you.

"And what reasons are those, Fi?"

He smirked, "Obviously... To kick your arse at cards."

You were flooded with pure disappointment. Raw, unfiltered disappointment that deflated your shoulders. "Yeah, right, like that would ever happen," you covered, nudging him a single step away from you. "Wanna be a gentleman and direct me to my room now?"

"Nope," he grinned, snatching your hand and yanking you away from the door. "You're gonna sit your pretty self right here," he nudged you to the edge of his bed, turning for his desk, then turning back to you to slap a deck of cards to your hand, "you're gonna shuffle these, and mentally prepare to get your arse handed to you at your own game."

You chuckled slightly, "Thought you hated 51 Rummy?"

"Only when sober," he smirked, leaning down to peck your forehead sweetly. "Sit tight, doll, I'll be a moment, yeah?"

You sighed and watched him exit the room, reaching to set your glass of water down and observe the room. In a moment of weakness, you pet over his sheets as if tempted to snuggle into them - and you were! You were cold from the lack of robe you meant to shrug on, and wondering the halls of Saltburn took much longer than you anticipated - now wanting to dive into the warmth you knew was left, the same warmth that Felix left on everything.

You jumped when the door opened again, Felix slipping inside with your little pink bag. His brows pinched, "All right, love?"

"Hmm? Yeah - "

"Your feet are nearly blue," he shook his head, handing you your bag before turning for his wardrobe. "Socks or sweats?"

"Huh?"

He turned, holding up a pair of sweatpants and socks, repeating, "Socks or sweats? Figured you're a bit cold in that." The left side of his mouth quirked up in a smirk, eyeing you in your sleep shorts and loose teeshirt that had the collar ripped out, showing a hint of cleavage.

"Oh, uh, socks, please."

He tossed you the socks, dropped the sweats, and joined you on the bed as you pulled the oversized garment onto your feet. "C'mere, get close, get comfortable," he chuckled, pushing his blankets down to sit in the sheets, waiting until you turned in the bed to yank the blankets up over both your legs. "Didn't shuffle? My naughty girl," he joked, reaching for the deck of cards and opening it. He offered a much softer smile, eyes darting to your medicine bag, and then focusing on the cards - as if to give you privacy to take your meds.

You did so quickly, insecure about the rattling bottles and the amount of tablets in your cupped hand, but never once had Felix made you feel bad about your needs. After swallowing them, you cleared your throat and turned to face Felix as he divided the cards for the game, nodding to his side table, "Paper's over there, doll, for the score."

"Sure you want me to keep score?" You asked softly, reaching for the pad of paper and spare pen. "Last time we played, you lost so very miserably, I was embarrassed for you. We can save your pride a li'l, not keep score."

"It's only polite to let the pretty lady win."

"Oh, tryin' to butter me up, are you?"

"Is it working?"

"I'll let you know."

Felix chuckled, leaning back to the headboard. Then, he asked softly, "You feelin' all right?"

"Hmm? Oh, yeah, all good."

"Sure?"

"Why?"

"Hands are shakin' a bit."

You eyed him for a moment, changing the subject by asking, "How're you not freezing? Seriously, 's like the floors are air conditioned."

"Nah, just not cold."

"Your nipples say otherwise."

"Lookin' at my nipples, are you?" He grinned. "Now you're a very naughty girl, knew you didn't stumble into my room on accident!"

"Oh, don't flatter yourself!" You pushed his shoulder, but he leaned closer. "Felix - "

"You could just stay here," he offered softly.

"You got me for a game - "

"No, I mean, uh..." He chuckled to himself, shaking his head and readjusting so he was supported on one elbow, facing you. "Nah, nevermind, all right, so, back to the game - "

"No, wait, say what you're thinking," you encouraged softly. "Know I hate you doin' that."

"Yeah, you get all anxious," he nodded. "I don't want t'be too forward, all right? But... You know, we sleep together at Oxford. I-In the dorms, you know?"

"Yeah, and?"

"Just thought, maybe you'd wanna stay here? With me? If you want, won't make yah, sweetheart, just thought... You know, in a house this big, you wouldn't get so lost stayin' here... Maybe?"

"Oh, aren't you my hero?"

"I know, I know, I'm just tryna look out for you, my li'l lost love. And, you know, prevent you from finding our secret dungeon," he gasped comically.

"That's not even a joke 'cause I'd believe it in a place like this. Is it a dungeon for torture or sex?"

"Wouldn't you like to know."

"Maybe I'd like to see it. Hm," you considered, "maybe I should stay here, you know - so you can show me around and go get me water when I need it. Save my toes from freezing off, wonderin' 'round here."

He grinned, "Yeah?"

"If it's not too scandalous?"

"'S not like anyone would care... Except me, you know? I'd... I'd like you to stay here. Like havin' you close, sweetheart."

"Well, maybe you could put some clothes on? You're terribly fucking distracting! I'm here to win a card game, and I'll be damned if you win 'cause your abs are... You know, staring right at me, you cheater," you grinned, turning to face him fully with your legs crossed, the space in the sheets open for your cards.

"I think you like me naked," he grinned. "I mean, you stared long enough."

"I was just caught off guard!"

"Oh, I'm sure," his grin turned wicked. "You're still staring, doll."

"Well, it's not as if you're quick to cover yourself!"

"You're not too quick t'look away, either!"

"I was - "

"Caught off guard, yeah, you've said," he chuckled, staring at you with those moony brown eyes that made you feel as if you were the only girl he's ever seen. "Maybe I liked you lookin'."

"Is that so?"

He nodded slightly, "Yeah, not such a bad thing. You're kinda the only one I want lookin' at me like that, anyway."

"You absolute cheesehead!" Your laughter was quiet, trying not to tip Duncan off to your antics.

"You know, they're not just for lookin'," he perked his pierced brow at you. "Feel free to touch whenever you want, too."

"Hm, always knew you were a slut."

He gasped dramatically. "Is that anyway to talk to your host? Especially after giving you refuge from the big, scary, confusing halls?" Your eyes rolled and reached out to pushed his forehead, making him rock back into the pillows and headboard - but he was quick to snatch your wrist as he fell. You were yanked across the slim space, pulled so you were directly resting onto his chest; forearms bracing against his pectorals. He grinned, caressing the back of your head, teasing, "'Ello, love."

"You're a fucking fiend."

"And you're so fucking beautiful."

"I'm already stayin' here, Fi, you don't have to lay it on so thick."

He hummed, "You know... If you were mine, you'd get this treatment all the time. I can't stop - you're just so easy to compliment."

Feeling bold, perhaps from being so close and him being nearly naked, you whispered, "Then maybe you should stop shuffling your feet, grow a pair, and ask me already."

He paused, the moment turning soft as you relax against his body; stretched out the length of him, but still remaining propped on his chest to look down at his sweet face.

"Was a bit afraid to, actually, love."

"Why?"

"Haven't felt like this with anyone," he admitted, "'s just so fuckin' easy with you. Organic, authentic, safe... I was afraid to ruin that, destroy the rapport and friendship we've established. I care about you so much, I just wanted you in my life - no matter what variation that was. Being just my friend, being my girl, just want you with me. Didn't want to jeopardize anything."

"Hm," you considered, nodding slowly, "I get that. Think I felt something similar..."

"So, what do we do?"

"I think we be adults about this," you offered. "If you just want to be friends, we'll stay friends, Fi, but we don't blur lines like we have been. And if you want to give this - us - a try, I think we could. 'Cause you're you, and I'm me, and if things don't work out, we can just go back. Right? Adults do that sorta thing, don't they?"

"Not entirely sure, don't feel like an adult most days," he breathed, petting his fingertips down your cheek. "But I know I want this, with you. I swear, since you came into my life, I've felt - " He paused, shaking his head with a growing smile, "Free? Elated? Light as air?"

"Mhm, I know the feeling," you repeated.

"We doin' this?"

"That's up to you."

"I think it's up to us, actually - "

"I mean, you've gotta ask, Fi, not just assume."

"If you reject me in my own house, in my own bed, doll, I'm gonna be fucking crushed!"

"Oh, my God, just ask me! You fucking knobhead!" You laughed, leaning your head on his chest. His other arm moved behind his head to keep it propped up, looking at you with so much adoration, it knotted your stomach. The hand that had been in your hair drifted down to keep a secure hold on your waist; fingers scratching in soothing motions.

"Wanna be my girl?"

"Hmm, I think you could phrase it better."

He grinned brightly, "Would you be my girlfriend?"

"Oh, that's a little too formal. Maybe try - "

"Oh, c'mere, you," he growled, swiftly using both arms to seize under your arms and literally drag you up his body. "C'mon, baby," he whispered, lips ghosting yours, "be my baby."

"Fuck, no, that's way too cheesy!"

"I thought you liked me cheesy?" He gaped, your hand petting his cheek now; shoulders straining to keep you upright, over him.

"Correction, I love you cheesy," you whispered, lowering your head to press a quick kiss to his lips. He hummed in relief, but you pulled back to promise, "I'd love to be your girl, Fi. Only took you the whole bloody school year, didn't it?"

"Hey, good things to those who wait, right?"

"Don't quote Professor Mercy at me when we're in bed with barely anything on, Jesus fucking Christ," you grumbled, unable to restrain your grin when he pulled you in for another kiss - but this time, stealing the breath right out of your lungs.

Maybe getting lost in Saltburn was more beneficial than you originally thought, and maybe Professor Mercy and ages of philosophy was right because this felt like the absolute best thing, and you'd wait a hundred lifetimes if it meant having Felix in your arms - like he was now, kissing you like it was his lifeline.

How extraordinarily warm, you felt, to be lost in this world, in this extraordinary home, and found, by Felix fucking Catton.

requesting rules and masterlist

Saltburn masterlist

#felix catton #felix catton x reader #felix catton x fem! reader #felix catton x you #felix catton x y/n #felix catton imagine #felix catton fanfic #felix catton fanfiction #felix catton fluff #felix catton saltburn #saltburn felix catton #saltburn felix #saltburn #saltburn 2023 #saltburn movie #saltburn fanfiction #saltburn imagine #fix it felix #felix catton request

[hyunniesgirl]

Another Love | Part 2

Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.

Words count: 5,302

Warnings: a bit of angst

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

>> Masterlist <<

A/N: hello!! I'm really happy about the feedback I got on the first part, I got sick and stressed because of work that's why it took me a bit long to post this part, I'll try and be faster for the next ones. Spoiler: things will get more interesting on the next part.

Han couldn't sleep, couldn't eat or even function properly since the day you left, it was so strange not having you around. He wakes up, gets to work, the boys make him eat something, they practice, then they eat something again because they know he's going home to starve himself in his pit of misery, then he gets home, takes a shower and goes to sleep.

He's always anxious, too afraid of losing you, every time he looks at his phone he's scared that a message from you will come saying you don't want to be near him anymore, saying you are not coming back.

He really wishes he could like you back, why wouldn't he? You're pretty, smart and funny. But he just never thought about you in that way, he's not sure why. You were always just his best friend, the one person that encouraged him to do the crazy things he wanted, the one person that got his back when things didn't work out, the first one he told when he passed the audition to be a trainee.

When he saw you at the party he was happy to see you smiling with other people, he was usually the one making you laugh but it made him relieved to see you were okay even if it was not with him.

It hurt so much when you ran away from him, he was already feeling bad but that made everything worse. So he drank more and more until he wasn't feeling anything anymore.

He saw the guy you were hanging out with, he was with his friends and you were nowhere to be found and even though he knew you didn't want to talk to him he went after you.

He found you outside, seated on the floor probably getting some fresh air or waiting for Hannah.

When you saw him he wished he didn't go after you at all. Everything happened so fast that he almost didn't manage to hold you before you walked past him running away again.

Han just couldn't let you leave like that, he was that desperate. He wanted to make you stay no matter what and he hurt you once more.

Was he even a good friend at this point? How many times can you possibly hurt someone and still be called a friend? He felt like trash waking up in the morning and remembering everything.

Chan insisted on coming home with him, he was feeling too guilty and too tired to protest, so he let his friend crash on the sofa.

Since Chan was there, Jisung should have expected a full breakfast when he got to the kitchen. Eggs, bacon and toast were waiting for him, but he didn't feel like eating.

"I feel awful, do you think I should go there and apologize to her?" Han asks and Chan shakes his head.

"She needs time, that's all you can give her now"

Han sighs, his anxiety going through the ceiling. He's lost, not sure if it's possible for things to go back to the way it was.

He could tell how worried you got when you saw him at the party, he knows too well the face you make when you want to scold him for not taking care of himself. So he spent the next week trying to get back on his feet, he doesn't want you feeling bad, he wants you to think the least about him so you can get over him soon enough.

So much happened during this time you were not with him, they finished their album and were going to Japan in two weeks. He wanted to show you their music, their new concept, the outfits, you always loved to see the clothes they would wear. You probably already know all of this, since you're living with Seungmin but he wanted to be the one showing you so he could see you smile and feel your support.

>><<

The group had gone to Japan, that included Seungmin, so he asked Hannah to stay with you in his apartment while he was away. It's nice spending so much time with her, there is this boy in her communication class she is absolutely sure will match perfectly with you, even though you already told her you don't want to deceive anyone, the thing with Heeseung made you feel bad enough. You know she's insisting on it because she cares about you, but you don't want to start a new relationship already on the wrong foot.

"I'm sure he's great, but I won't be going out with other people until I feel like I'll be able to get over Jisung"

"And when is that?" She asks frustrated, "I know a lifelong crush won't go away in a month but don't you think you have to meet other people and open up?"

You sigh, you just don't want to hurt anyone during your process of healing.

"If I find someone I like, I'll go out with them, alright? But don't set me up with random people"

She huffs, nodding, that's better than nothing.

Since Han is away, you take the opportunity and go to your apartment. You need some books, you have been borrowing Hannah's in an attempt to avoid going there to pick up yours.

There's nothing different in the house, you don't know if you should feel glad or sad about that. Although your life is turned upside down, things are still the same. You are sure you just need a little more time, things will get better soon.

You know that, because it didn't hurt as much as you thought going back to your apartment, you expected it would be much worse. Maybe it's because he's not there? That could be it but you have hope that the overall pain is gone, that it's not going to be so bad when you see him again.

Of course, as Hannah said, a lifelong love won't go away in a month, nor in two or five months, you're not sure even a year is enough but you can't wait until then, he's still your best friend and you miss him like crazy.

You're going to come back home when you're sure you let go of these feelings. Yes, it's going to be hard being with him but it's harder to stay away from your best friend.

So when you feel like you're finally open to meet new people without comparing them to Jisung and not feel like you're tricking them, when you feel like you can like someone else without feeling guilty, that's when you'll know you are starting to get over Han.

You take some clothes out of your wardrobe and put them in the bag with your books. Hannah is coming to pick you up since Seungmin let you use his car while he's away.

"Are you moving, ma'am?" Hannah asks, seeing your huge bag.

"A girl needs to be prepared", you answer and she laughs.

"Do you want some coffee?", you hum in agreement while turning on the radio.

You feel like it's finally peaceful in your head.

>><<

It's been some time since you visited your family, your parents call you every week to check on you and Jisung but when the holidays come you two have to go back home.

That's how you ended up in the car with him, it's not a long trip since you're going just outside of Seoul but it's still awkward.

This is the first time you're seeing each other after the party. The whole trip it seems like Han wants to say something, but he doesn't, he keeps stealing glances at you, opening his mouth and then closing again like he just thought it better to stay in silence.

"For fucks sake, just say what you want to say", you tell him minutes before your arrival at your family’s home.

He flinches, looking at you with puppy eyes.

"I wanted to apologize, about the whole thing at the party", he clears his throat, fidgeting in his seat.

You stare at him for a few seconds. Even though it hurts, the whole situation is less painful then you thought it would be.

When you received the call from your parents telling you to come home with Han on the weekend you couldn't say no, you don't want them to know about all the drama and before you could make up some excuse about Han's schedule they told you he already had agreed to go.

You exchanged messages with him, setting up the time for him to pick you up at Seungmin's place and you dreaded every minute of every day thinking about the moment you would have to face Jisung again.

When you got into his car, you felt uncomfortable. You made some small talk and left at that, hoping he wouldn't keep trying to talk. It's been two months since you confessed, maybe your heart is already accepting the fact that you and your best friend are just that, friends.

Of course it still hurts, you're not sure how you're going to feel seeing him with a girlfriend, but you hope it'll only get easier from now on.

"It's okay", you say. "You were drunk, let's not think too much about it"

"But I hurt you, again", he sighs, looking at you with a frown on his face.

"Yeah, you did", you sigh, "but you're my best friend and you apologized, I'm not going to hold that against you"

He parks the car, but doesn't make any movement to get out. Jisung is staring at his hands, holding the wheel.

"You're too soft on me", he mumbles.

"I know", you smile sadly, "it's just how things are between us", you open your door urging him to get out. You already can imagine your mothers making a fuss about why you stayed so long inside the car instead of going inside.

Your parents come out while you're going through the gate, your mom has a bright smile on her face and is waiting to give you a hug. It's good to be in her embrace again, her warmth makes you feel like everything will be okay.

"You lost so much weight, aren't you taking care of her?" Han's mother scolds him while giving you a hug and feeling you out.

"It's my fault, school is just crazy right now", you tell her, hugging her back.

"Nonetheless, you should eat", she looks back at your mother, "let's double the side dishes we packed for them", and your mom nods, going back inside with her best friend.

You take a deep breath, receiving a sympathetic smile from Han before he goes into the house. It's going to be a long day.

The lunch is somewhat calm, other than the dozens of questions your families ask to you two. About college, about living by yourselves, about Han's trips, how you stay alone and how that's dangerous, they ask about everything like they don't talk to you every week.

"I forgot the ice cream", your father says, slapping the palm of his hand onto his forehead and you can already predict the scolding he's going to receive from your mother. So you jump on your feet, offering to go to the convenience store to buy some.

"Go with her", Han's father says and he nods.

You wish he didn't, it's suffocating being so close to your best friends while still uncertain of your circumstances, but if you say you don't want to, they are going to ask why and having to explain that is going to be worse than spending the day with Jisung.

You walk quietly, looking at the houses on the street. Everything is still the same, other than some renovations made to the old houses there's nothing new. The convenience store is a ten minute walk away from your house. It's good walking a bit after eating so much, the thing you miss the most about living with your parents is your mother's food.

"Which flavor?" Jisung asks while looking into the freezer.

"My mom likes strawberry and yours like chocolate, let's take both", he nods.

"Oh my god, y/n and Jisung?" You hear that damn voice you can't forget even after almost 10 years.

You put on your best smile and turn around slowly.

"Hi, Haneul", you say, poking Han with your elbow, he's still focused on choosing ice cream.

"Oh, hey", he nods at Haneul, closing the freezer.

She eyes you two up and down and smiles.

"Are you finally dating?" She squeals and you can tell she's just being mean.

"No", you answer before Jisung can even open his mouth, he glances at you with a frown.

"I'm sorry, y/n, it seems not every teenage crush works out", she pouts, smiling even more now that she got what she wanted.

You watch as she turns around, walking more deep into the store and you grab the ice creams from Han's hands, going to the cashier to pay for it.

Haneul hated you ever since Jisung dragged you to go on their date in middle school, it's not your fault but you always guessed she blamed you for things not working out with him.

You want to cry, not because you're sad but because you feel humiliated. It's so frustrating knowing that everyone has always known about your feelings for Han, it's even worse to think one day a lot of your school classmates are going to see his wedding pictures with you as the third wheel as always and think of how much of a loser you're.

"How did she know about that?" He asks when you get out of the store.

"I don't think I did a good job at hiding my feelings", you shrug.

Han stops on his tracks, you only realize that after giving a few steps and you look back to see him staring at you with a confused face.

"Was I the only one that didn't know?" He asks and you sigh, you're not really in the mood to have this conversation.

"Our parents probably don't know either", you say and he huffs.

"I'm not joking, y/n! Why didn't you ever tell me?"

"What difference would it make if you knew?" You yell, finally losing it. You can feel the tears brimming in your eyes, but you won't cry, you were finally feeling a bit better and you're not going to waste another tear on this one sided love.

"Things could have been different, I could have been more careful, I could have told you to-"

He stops mid sentence knowing he shouldn't finish the sentence, but it's already too late.

"Would you have told me to move on?" You scoff, looking around to avoid the tears. "It's not that easy Jisung, this is not the same love you felt in your relationships that lasted three months", you know you're just being mean now, but you can't control it, not with all the hurt you're feeling. "I've been in love with you for years, don't you think I was afraid of that? Of you telling me that years of me pining over you were worth nothing?"

You turn around, "tell our parents that I met someone from high school and I'll be back later", you don't give him time to say anything back before you walk away.

After a few minutes, you feel the tears running down your face. At least you avoided crying in front of him.

Why does it have to be so hard? Why can't you just forget about him already? This process is taking too long and too much of your energy.

You sit in the park, wiping your tears and looking at the children playing. Everything was easier when you were at that age, you had no worries other than if it would rain the day you would go play with your friends outside or which present to give your parents on their birthday.

You look at your phone, answering your messages, your mother sent you a text telling you to not stay out too late but you don't think you'll be able to go back and stay in the same room as Han right now.

"Y/n?" You hear a strangely familiar voice, you look up and see a handsome man walking towards you. You're sure you know his face, but you just can't remember who it is.

He sees your frown and laughs.

"Jeongho? From middle school", he tells you and your eyes widen.

"Oh my god, Jeongho! How are you?" You ask and he smiles, he grew up really well. He's much taller now but he's still as handsome.

"I'm doing well, what about you?" He asks, sitting by your side, "are you visiting your family?"

"I'm great", you smile and nod, "yeah, Jisung and I came to visit"

What are the odds of you meeting Haneul and Jeongho of all people right after you confessed to Han? The universe really must be playing with you.

"I heard that you are living in Japan", you continue.

"Yeah, I came here just for the holiday", he explains, "actually, I come by pretty often to Korea", he clears his throat, looking at you. "Are you and Jisung a thing now?" He asks and you smile painfully, why must you answer this question twice in a day?

"No, still just friends", you tell and he smiles.

He nods, mumbling 'ah'.

"And… by any chance are you single?" He asks and you nod, feeling embarrassed. "Well, that's good news for me", he says, receiving a confused look from you while handing you his phone, "mind giving me your number? I'd like to keep in contact with you"

"Oh", you stare at the device for a moment, trying to process what he's saying. Is he interested in you?

"It's okay if you don't want to", he chuckles, "I'm just shooting my shot, knowing you're not with Jisung"

You laugh, releasing the air you didn't even notice you were holding.

"Yeah, sure", you type your number and give it back to him.

He stares at you with a satisfied smile before getting up.

"I have to go now, my family is waiting for me, but I'll text you", he says, flashing a smile and waving goodbye to you.

That was certainly unexpected, you would have never imagined you would meet Jeongho and he would still be interested in you. That lightens up your mood a bit, maybe this time you'll make the right choice and choose the person that likes you back.

You and Han don't share a word on your trip back, you don't want to talk to him and he seems too deep in his thoughts to say anything to you.

You finally can breathe when you get to Seungmin's, he's waiting with Hannah, beer and food, all you needed after this hell of a day.

>><<

You are in a lilac long dress, your friends are all seated in the first row. The church is full of people, some you know, some you're not so sure. You're happy, feeling your heart beat fast and butterflies on your stomach. Jisung is looking directly at you, he smiles with a proud look on his face.

However, before you can step closer to him, a loud piano sound starts playing and after a few seconds you recognize the wedding march. People stand up but they are not looking at you, neither is Han, they are all looking at the church doors where a beautiful woman is entering in a long white dress, a child walks in front of her, throwing roses in her path. The familiar round full cheeks make your stomach sink, why does that child look so much like Han? He doesn't have a younger sibling.

Then, it all sinks in, you're not the bride. Of course not, he's marrying another woman, a beautiful one at that. He's building his life and forming a family and you're just there on the sidelines. The bride steps in front of him and gives you her bouquet, smiling kindly at you.

You open your eyes abruptly, your chest is going up and down at a fast pace and your breathing is heavy, you're soaked in sweat. It was all a dream, a nightmare.

You sit on the sofa, feeling sore, all your muscles are tense. You can't believe you actually dreamt about something like that, your fear of always being there watching your best friend have his own life while still in love with him is taking over, even though you're trying to get over him.

It's two in the morning and you can't go back to sleep. It's better to take a shower and maybe go for a walk to calm your nerves.

The warm bath helps make you relax, but the memories from your dream keeps coming up on your mind again and again.

You text the only person who is probably still awake at this time and your phone buzzes seconds after your message is sent.

“To what do I owe the pleasure of being contacted by my most beautiful friend?” Chan's voice sounds on the other side of the line.

You chuckle.

“I knew you would be awake”, you tell him, fidgeting with your feet while trying to explain what's happening to him without humiliating yourself.

“I had a pretty bad nightmare and wanted to take a walk, maybe eat something? I don't know”, you whisper the last part and Chan sighs, he can tell you're not feeling well.

“Sure, I wanted to take a break anyway”, he says even though he's full of work to do.

You meet at a convenience store nearby, Chan's apartment is not far from Seungmin's since they can't live far away from each other, everyone lives close. You and Jisung did too- cursed man, coming back through your mind even though you're trying to think of anything but him.

“So”, Chan says, taking you out of your thoughts, “Jisungie told me you had a bit of an argument”, he tells you carefully, resting his elbows on the table you two are seated while he holds the beer can.

You sigh, of course he would tell Chan.

“Yeah, we just met someone from middle school during our trip and it ended up like that”, you explain after swallowing a mouthful of the hot spice ramen you have in your hands.

“I know things are not easy right now, for you or for him”, he says carefully, “but you're best friends, you have to communicate and talk things through”

“I guess”, you sigh. It's not easy to talk about Jisung, more so after the dream you had. You thought the worst part was already over, that you were finally getting over him. But it turns out it's not just willingness that makes things happen.

You wake up to your phone buzzing, you look at the time it's almost noon. You look through your messages and can't help but smile, Jeongho has been messaging you everyday since the last time you saw him. It's nice having this kind of attention, he's handsome and nice, maybe it's time for you to open your heart to someone else. The nightmare you had really terrified you, just thinking about it makes your head hurt and your chest ache.

Jeongho: good morning

Jeongho: I'll be in Korea next week, maybe we could have dinner together?

You: morning

You: yeah, that would be great!

You decide to give this a chance, it's not like it is going to kill you and Jeongho is well aware about your longing feelings for Jisung.

You're dressed in a red dress, feeling a bit uncomfortable, formal attire is not your usual outfit choice, but Jeongho set the date in a really fancy restaurant that you're not used to.

Of course you went to fancy restaurants before, the boys took you out often to celebrate their awards and new comebacks but since you always insisted on paying for your meals, they usually went to fancy but still affordable places.

Jisung always offered to pay for your meals, but you never accepted. If he did, you were afraid you would look too much like a couple and your heart might make you even more delusional.

“Good evening, how can I help you?” The receptionist asks and you look around, trying to find your date.

“Hm, hi. I'm here to meet a person, Kang Jeongho?” You eye the list on the counter to try and see if his name is there.

“Yes, mr. Kang is waiting”, he tells you, “may I take your coat?” He asks, gesturing to the long cover you have over you.

“Ah, yes”, you say, taking the piece and giving it to him.

The man gestures for you to follow and you walk behind him to the second floor. Jeongho is waiting at a table close to the window, he's looking at the view that you can see now it's marvelous.

“Mr. Kang”, the receptionist says and Jeongho turns around, giving you a big bright smile while standing up.

“Thank you”, he tells the man who nods at you and walks back to the first floor. “You look beautiful”, he tells you, pulling the chair so you can sit.

“Thank you, I didn't even know there was a second floor in this restaurant”, you say while watching him take his seat.

“Yes, they only open it on special occasions”, he says and you frown, looking around.

“You mean, they opened it so we could eat here?”

He nods, chuckling to your terrified face.

“What are you, the president’s son?” You joke, nervously, suddenly feeling absolutely out of place and underdressed.

“Not at all, you know my father and he's far away from politics”, he jokes back, “I’m friends with the son of the owner, he owed me one so I just asked for a favor”, he shrugs.

You look dumbfounded, who is this guy? Surely not the same teenager that looked absolutely heartbroken when you rejected him in middle school.

“What did you do for him to go to such lengths to pay you back?” You ask, curious.

“I introduced him to his wife”, he smiles, “he's madly in love with her, so this was nothing to how grateful he is to me”

“Oh”, you nod. That must be nice, having someone madly in love with you.

The waiter interrupts your interrogation to ask for your orders, you have no idea what to choose, but Jeongho explains to you each dish, asking if you would like something more spicy, salty or sweet and telling which one he thought you'd like better based on your answers.

“You know, you were my first crush”, Jeongho blurts out after the waiter takes the plates back to the kitchen. You feel your whole face hot, looking at him with wide eyes, “I'm sorry, I just thought you should know”, he smiles and you notice he has some deep dimples in his cheeks.

“I thought you asked me out in middle school because you lost a bet or something”, you put your hands to your cheeks, trying to ease the redness.

“I think you never gave yourself enough credit”, he points out, leaning his face on his hand while watching you. “You were always too focused on Jisung to actually see that I was not the only one looking at you with heart eyes”

You smile sheepishly, you knew your crush on your best friend was going to come up in the conversation at some point, but now that it did you don't know how to talk about it.

“Well, I found out not long ago that I was not as good as I thought at hiding my feelings”, you tell him, “apparently everyone knew that I liked my best friend—except him”

“Am I right to presume that you still have those feelings?” He asks slyly, your heart is beating fast, what if you tell him the truth and he says he doesn't want to see you anymore?

“Actually-”, you sigh, “I'm trying to get over them at the moment”

It's better he knows the truth, so he can enter this aware of your standing.

“Well, that's more than I expected”, he chuckles and you look at him confused, “I thought you were still hang up on him”

“I actually confessed”, you're feeling a bit more confident after his reaction, “and I was rejected, so I don't think there's much for me to hang on anymore”

“So, I'm sorry if I'm being too straightforward- but could I be greedy and believe I have a chance?” He asks and you're sure his eyes are wavering a bit, is he nervous? Did you actually make someone feel that way because of you?

“Yes”, you tell him, biting back a smile and blushing, he smiles at you sighing in relief.

He stands up and reaches his hand out to you.

“Then, shall we take a walk? I have a long way to make you fall for me”, he bites his bottom lip, waiting for you to take his hand.

This is it, the first step for you to get over Han Jisung.

Han sees Lia's lips move but he can't actually hear what she's saying, every word you said the last time, keeps sounding on his mind like a bloody curse.

What would he have done if he had known sooner? Would he have liked you back? Surely not, after all these years he didn't feel anything romantically related towards you, but that may be because he never thought about you in that way. Would he have told you to move on?

"Are you listening?" Jisung hears Lia say and snaps out of his thoughts.

"Yes, of course", he lies, giving her a slight smile and grabbing her hand to squeeze it.

"You're just… acting strange, since you came back from your parent’s house", she frowns.

"It's nothing, I just… had an argument with y/n and now she's mad at me", he tells a half truth.

"I'm sure she's going to forgive you", Lia says, sympathetically, "you're best friends after all"

Han nods, sighing.

He had avoided telling her the whole situation with you, it could make her insecure since you two live together.

There's something different too, he just doesn't feel the same way about her anymore, the burning flame and excitement he felt when they first started going out is slowly dying down and he just doesn't know what to do anymore.

All his previous relationships ended up because he was too busy, or because his personality didn't actually match with the other person, sometimes the girl he was dating just felt uncomfortable about his friendship with you, but he couldn't end years of friendship because he was dating so he ended the relationship.

However, Lia is different. She's great and confident, she doesn't care that he lives with you because she trusts him. She's calm, her personality is nice, she's nice. So why? Why is he feeling like this suddenly? Why is he wavering when it comes to starting this new relationship?

When he gets to practice after a weekend of resting, he is still confused, however, he's trying his best to stay focused on their new album, music is the only thing he is sure of in his life right now.

It's half past the time practice should start and Seungmin is not there yet, after one more song he asks Bangchan about it, he's starting to get worried, what if something happened to you?

“Oh, don't worry about it, he's just interviewing his roommate prospect”, Chan answers.

Han freezes. Then, that means you're going back home?

------------------

A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback gives me motivation to keep writing.

Taglist(I won't be tagging people without age in their profile or blank blogs in my content)

@hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @seungminsapuppy @starsandrqindrops @its-hannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98

#stray kids #skz #skz imagines #skz x reader #stray kids imagines #skz fluff #stray kids scenarios #skz x y/n #skz x you #stray kids x y/n #stray kids x reader #stray kids han jisung #skz han jisung #han jisung angst #han jisung x reader #han jisung x y/n #han jisung x you #han jisung #han jisung skz #han jisung scenarios #stray kids masterlist #skz masterlist #jisung x reader #jisung x you #jisung x y/n #skz han #skz jisung #stray kids han #series #Another Love series

[suiana]

Hiiii! I discovered your blog recently and I’m loving it!!!!  

Can I request a yandere who’s your younger brother best friend? (you’re both adults ofc)

He always had a crush on you but you always brush it off as some innocent little crush until your parents and your brother went on vacations (you couldn’t go cause you had to work) and he offered to stay with you so you wouldn’t be alone. And in the middle of the night he gets in bed with you while you’re sleeping and touches you

I'm sorry if this too specific 😅

(yandere younger brother's best friend x gn! reader) (cw: implied nsfw+stealing+drugging+slight somno, yandere stuff, manipulation)

you know the weird feeling you get in your gut whenever you sense something off?

yeah, you're currently feeling it.

and it's weird because... you're home alone. well not alone, your younger brother and his best friend are home.

but they're playing some game, holed up in his room so technically you're alone. so why are you feeling a sense of dread? did you leave the stove on? did you forget to submit some assignment? were you going to get killed?

...

nah, that can't be it.

you must just be overthinking. everything's fine after all.

maybe you're just tired. what you need is sleep.

so that's what you did, you turned off the television, walked to your room, got in bed, and went to sleep.

but when you woke up a few hours later, the feeling of anxiety only increased.

you woke up in cold sweat, shivering in your bed as you looked around. nothing was off, nothing at all. but why was your body on high alert? why?

your eyes took in every crevice of your room, trying to see if there was an intruder of sorts. nothing. wait, were those a pair of eyes in your closet? no way.

you blink several times and they were gone.

...maybe you need a drink. yeah, a drink.

you got out of bed, hand clutching your phone as you walked to the kitchen. pouring yourself a glass of water, you nervously scrolled tiktok to ease your nerves. but it didn't work. if anything, it only served as a reminder of how quiet the house was, even with the presence of two other guys-

what was that?

nervously turning around, your eyes were wide open as you prepared for the worst. that sounded like glass breaking! what if someone broke in- oh, it was just your younger brother's best friend...

you immediately let out a sigh of relief, not even bothering to notice how his hands were clenching around something that look oddly like your underwear and how his cheeks were flushed way too red for this cold weather.

"you scared me."

you laugh, drinking your glass of water as your brother's best friend chuckles awkwardly in response. well, at least the weird feeling in your stomach seemed to disappear. not totally but it wasn't as present as it once was.

"uh, sorry about that. just wanted to stretch my legs."

he stuffs his hand into the pocket of his hoodie, looking away from your face as he chews on his bottom lip. you smile at his response, shaking your head slightly as you walk back to your room. he was always awkward around you. this behavior was normal.

"yeah, don't worry about it! remember to tell my brother to drink some water, yeah? you too!"

you remind with a slight grin before patting him lightly on the shoulder. he flinches at the contact before calming down. huh, was he on edge too? he never flinches... especially when you touch him. weird.

whatever, maybe he was feeling extra paranoid today too. you soon got back into bed, laughing at your paranoia as he weird feeling in your stomach seems to gradually disappear.

and you even managed to fall asleep not too long after! how amazing!

and irritatingly convenient. it's almost like you were considerate for him and his obsession with you.

he soon slips back into your room, crouching beside your bed as he stares intently at your figure. his cheeks are flushed as he gently strokes your cheek with shivering fingers.

ah, you were so adorable when you got all scared and worked up. and he even got a front row seat to your fear through the gap of your cupboard! shit, do you know how hard he had to hold himself back from moaning out loud at the sight?

but it doesn't matter anymore. not when you were fast asleep.

god you looked so sweet like this, all passed out and vulnerable...

it was a little hard to get your brother to drink the intoxicated drink but the fact that he got to see this... ah, it was so damn worth it.

his hands trail down to your pretty lips, playing with them before he stops. his head drops as he lets out a soft sigh. his pants were painfully tight right now...

he then looks back at you, chewing on his bottom lip. you... wouldn't mind, right? he wouldn't be doing anything to you so... he's just doing it beside you!

if anything, it should be fine because you two would be dating soon anyways! it's fine... at least it's what he tells himself.

it's fine.

he repeats as his hand goes to undo his belt.

it's fine.

he mutters as his hand clutches your bed sheets.

it's fine.

he moans as he strokes your face.

yeah, of course it would be fine. you were meant to be his after all. he was just doing what any boyfriend would do when their significant other turns them on!

but it wasn't enough.

he shouldn't do more. he knows it. but... he can't help himself. he'll just touch your cute face a bit more... and stain your sheets a weird white...

and he's sorry that he's doing it but you were just so pretty! if anything... it's your fault! how dare you tempt him even in your sleep.

don't worry, it's not like you'll remember his touches when you wake up... plus, he didn't even do anything too drastic so... it's not that bad, right?

as long as you didn't suspect him, everything would be fine.

so just don't think too much and... don't listen to your gut, okay?

#suiana's sinners #yandere #tw yandere #yandere x reader #yandere imagines #yandere drabbles #yandere scenarios #yandere younger brother's best friend #yandere younger brother's best friend x reader #suiana rambling #suiana brainrotting

[ghostlywhiskey]

price x pregnant reader !!!!!! IM FERAL FOR THIS TROPE

price x pregnant!reader, dad!price, etc. i eat it all up. it's literally his fucking trope. he owns it. ceo if you will.

when you're pregnant with your first kid with john, he becomes the most protective man on this planet. and not that he isn't already with you, but it's like watching an animal ready to pounce on whatever is threatening them - except with price, he sees everyone as a threat to you when you're pregnant.

price who has his arm snaked around your back, palm spread against the side of your growing stomach whenever you two are at a family or work event. the way he watches you as you speak briefly before his eyes are on everyone else who has their line of vision directed towards you. when you say you're gonna grab something to drink or eat, he nods in agreement but never lets you go alone. he's always right next to you, the hand slipping away from your waist to hold your hand instead as you walk.

when the two of you started working on getting the nursery together, the first thing he did - besides painting most of it while you slept one night because he didn't want you around the fumes of the paint. regardless if it wasn't harmful with out without a mask. he only let you in briefly to paint the last stroke of color needed so you could have the finishing touch. but again, besides painting, the first thing he did was get a rocking chair to place in the corner of the room. that way, you could sit and watch him build the various items needed, hang up decor you bought, etc. he didn't want you doing any physical work. only letting you tighten screws a few times after you pouted because you wanted to help.

and even though your not even halfway pregnant with the first, it is price who has his arms wrapped around you while you're getting ready in the morning or at night for bed. price who is mumbling against you're neck how he can't wait to see you pregnant at least three more times. telling you how beautiful you look with your growing belly as his palms gently rub from the side of your waist to the middle of your stomach, and continues to do so back and forth. going on about how you're the only woman who could ever carry his babies.

price who cursing in his office when they tell him he has to go on a mission, the thought of leaving you as you get closer to the due date spiking anxiety in him for the first time in his life. and when the call ends, its you who doesn't knock on the office door, but just opening it slowly as you walk in to see price pacing around the room. your hands that reach up and grab his face to look at you - reassuring him you'll be fine and you're still a decent time away from your due date. telling him you'll stay at your parents house while he's away so you aren't alone - because you'd never make him choose between his job and you. and he keeps asking if you are sure if he leaves each and every day up until it is time for him to go. your pregnant frame in the doorway of your home, nodding as you place a hand on your stomach and rub it. "we'll be here when you're back" is all you can get out before he's kissing you.

#john price #john price fluff #john price x reader #nic responses #nic talks price #i love when i write soft price it kinda reminds me im not just a brain filled with smut #gw sfw price

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Pretty like the wind

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n Part three! we return once more to this little tiny Azriel's book like story. ✨ thank for everyone who reads✨

warnings: lots of past trauma, Illyrian camp kind of trauma, anxiety, kids because some of you said it was a warning, I guess that's all...

Not yet proofread

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Azriel just couldn't seem to sleep. No matter what he did, no matter how much he tried to tell himself that he didn't care or that it wasn't in any way directly related to any of his doings, the spymaster still struggled to find his peace. And if it wasn't in the sleep, then his thoughts would just occasionally wander to that night you touched him. He wanted to remember how your fingers felt against his skin. Was your hand warm? Or cold? He was sure your skin was soft. Had to be.

But all Azriel was met with were your terrified eyes. The tears streaming down your cheeks. The choked-out sob you held inside. The way you turned away from him and ran. He called for you. Tried to, at least. But you vanished. Blended seamlessly into the dark and stayed like that ever since. And here he was feeling guilty once more. Proven once more that he wasn't indeed a good man. His desires made him blind. He chose himself. Time after time, put his needs first. He stepped on others' boundaries just so he could gain something.

Azriel ran a hand through his hair. He's been coming to the communal ever since. Frankly, it's only been a couple of days. But Azriel was growing restless because you weren't here. You weren't singing with the kids. Weren't smiling at them. Every time he looked at the bright smiles that flooded the room, Azriel had flashes of horror piercing through them. The camps. The cries. The blood. Suddenly, this place made so much more sense. It was a place for Illyrian females and their children. A haven. A sanctuary to heal. To let the wounds scab over. Every smile Azriel saw now held a bigger meaning. It wasn't just a smile. It was the smile of a survivor. Someone who was beaten down. Walked over. Made into nothing more than a punching bag. But now. Underneath, this roof was slowly flourishing because of the loving hearts that surrounded it.

One of the shadows moved to whisper into Azriel's ear, making the male turn his head to the side quickly. "Axel", the spymaster breathed out. The little boy instantly let go of the priestess's hand. "Soldier", he breathed happily. "That's my friend; I'll be okay", Axel nodded his head at the lady, who frowned slightly but still chose to walk on with the rest of the children.

Azriel suddenly felt a wave of panic rush through him. Axel was left with him. A kid was left in Azriel's care. He had never truly taken care of one. Sure, Nyx was his nephew, but Azriel had never even held the boy. A tug on his pants made Azriel look down, snapping him out of his thoughts. "Have you seen...", Azriel started, but was quick to realize that he had never asked for your name. "Zofie is in a dancing class and Y/N... I'm not quite sure", Y/N, the name, ran through Azriel's bloodstream faster than lightning. Arranging and changing chemicals in his body. "She walked us to class this morning and...", but Axel halted, his face changing as he crossed his tiny arms over his chest. "Did you upset her? Because that would be rude".

A breath hitched in Azriel's throat. When had kids gotten so smart? And why was a five-year-old making him sweat more than a camp leader? "There was a misunderstanding", Azriel said calmly, "Hence, why I'm looking for her". Axel watched him for a moment, then nodded his head. "She's been crying a lot, but she said we shouldn't worry about it", the boy shrugged his shoulders. A pang ripped through Azriel's chest. Crying. You've been crying. Was he the reason for it? Had he awakened an unknown memory? Had he already made you give up on him? Had he already made you not want to deal with him? In a matter of weeks. He had once again become a problem.

"Don't be sad", Azriel felt a smaller hand reach up to grasp his palm just like the very first time. He flinched slightly, not used to that part of him being touched so effortlessly. "We usually have tea and biscuits after class", Axel smiled at Azriel fondly, his messy black hair reminding him so much of how Cassian used to look when he was just a boy himself. "Lead the way, champ", Azriel said, urging Axel. The boy lit up, walking with his head high now that Azriel was walking beside him.

They never really tell you how badly the triggers of the past can jab you. But then, maybe they don't know. Or maybe the pain one endures is so great that it leaves them speechless, barely breathing, just about managing to patch the reopening scars. It's been months since you've been brought back to that place. Back to that night. The pinching coldness of the snow beneath your bare feet. The never-ending screeching. The hands...

"Find the light without it. Search for it", Padme's voice made you draw a sharp inhale. Rapidly blinking, you wrapped your hands around your torso. "Did the nightmares retune?", the high priestess asked you, looking down at the paper in front of her. "No", you said firmly. A lie. One you had mastered delivering - a wolf beneath a lamb's coat. "Well, then we are done here for today", she smiled at you. If Padme hadn't found you in that corridor, all shaking and tense, you would have been able to escape these mind-curing sessions.

"Are you fit enough to continue with field work?", her words were colder, but then they always were when the topic of assignments arose. "I can go right now if you insist", you said, throwing her a look that challenged her stare. Padme held it till she was satisfied, then nodded. "Return to your duties, sweetheart; I'll get you the papers tomorrow". You bowed your head just like you always did. You were so thankful for the dimly lit corridor and the way they hid your trembling hands.

Hands... You had felt Azriel's fingerprints on your skin. You had felt his warmth. An odd song it sang. But then, as if out of nowhere, all the walls came trembling down. Dragging you down. Pulling you back to the night you wished to forget. Wipe it out of your mind. Never return to it. Even if it made you, even if it had shaped the very soul that flicked within you. You still wished a night so dark would never fall upon you again.

With a deep breath, you welcomed the air into your lungs. Slowly dragging your feet down the stairs. Down and down. Clawing at the last bits of strength for the kids. For the females that might want to bask in the warmth you always carried, your feet halted the moment you were about to cover the last handful of stone steps leading to the kitchen.

"You're mixing it wrong", the voice growled slightly. Specks of child-like frustration laced it. And you knew that voice. That voice was well ingrained in your brain. "I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to eat the raw batter", your heart skipped a beat at the sound of the reply. You quickly rushed down the last steps that separated you from the clear view of the place. It couldn't be. There was no way, you told yourself. Just as your eyes fell on the scene in front of you.

"And I'm pretty sure you had never made cookies before", Axel shook his head, reaching for his spoon as he shoved, or more like, tried to move Azriel's hand away from the bowl. They were both covered in flour. You doubted that you wanted to know why an egg stain ran down the wall. Or why was one of the trays burned to a crisp? Something within your chest stretched. Bent and stirred deep within you.

You were sure you would have watched the two of them till the last piece of dough was molded into an odd shape if not for the black, tiny blobs that curled your way. Tiny creatures of the dark yet so full of life. They rubbed against your palms, twirled in the ends of your hair, and brushed the sides of your cheeks. A silent: Are you okay? The unease that left them the moment you nodded slowly.

That's when you met Azriel's eyes across the kitchen. A piece of dough now forgotten in his hand. One that Axel was more than happy to snatch as he formed and misshaped a circle. Neither of you spoke. But the gaze you held was stronger than any conversation could ever be. Words often failed. Or led to unnecessary assumptions. Eyes, on the other hand, were the mirror of one's soul. Eyes could never lie. Forever doomed to give away the truth that lay beneath.

"You should put your cookie here", Axel said, pointing to the tray until his own golden eyes followed Azriel's gaze, a big smile spreading across the boy's face as he hopped off the stool Azriel had pushed closer to the counter for him. Leaping into your hands, his dirty hands and clothes smearing against the white you wore. "I see you have gotten yourself quite a company", your fingers lingered beneath the boy's chin, carefully guiding his face up so he would meet your gaze. "I told Azriel about the cookies we make after class. Can you believe he eats cookies?", the excitement in his voice made you crack up a smile. "That seems like it's secret information", you muttered, and Axel's face grew wide as you pressed your finger to your lips. From the back of your eyes, you could see Azriel slowly shaking his head, but a light smile still lingered.

"Why don't you wash up, huh?", you crouched down, cupping the boy's face, before one of your hands brushed against one of his lip wings, threading golden threads there. Azriel's face went ashen. How did he miss that? The off-balanced leather. The twisted boning. His hand clenched the end of the counter, and he was almost sure he would snap the marble just from the sheer clench his fingers had on it. How many more horrors were unknown to him? What else had these people endured?

"You mean a whole deal to him", your voice sliced through Azriel's fading vision. Making him blink a couple of times. Slowly pulling the world around him to focus. "He already has drawings of you. A mighty worrier...", you let out a low chuckle as you reached for the dirty bowl submerging it beneath the water. "But then maybe I have myself to blame", Azriel felt the cold pain that lashed with your words. In all honesty, Azriel was desperate to say something. Make this better. Somehow make the pain that now drowned you back away.

"I told him stories of a foreign soldier. Who wasn't like the males in...", and you didn't have to finish. Azriel knew. Knew what you were referring to. The sadistic manners some of them bore even if Rhys had banned any wing clipping. "I'm sorry", was all Azriel managed to say. His voice faded to nothing almost immediately. He knew those words had little meaning for pain like that.

"Our minds clashed that night in the attic", the spymaster's words sent a shiver down your spine. You stared ahead of yourself. Not allowing yourself to look at him. You had worn that mask of strength before. This male now standing to the side of you. This man had watched you crumble way too many times already. "I'm sorry that I disrespected this place. I disrespected you", an ache in Azriel's chest eased as he spoke, "I want to learn more about the sanctuary. I want to make my time here meaningful". The bowl in your hands nearly slipped out of your hands. Your body - still the statue. "I can't do any of that if you and I are fighting this silent battle, can't I?", the question twisted something deep within you, but you still blurted in a cold tone, "There are many more people who can guide you". And Azriel didn't doubt it, but at least he still said, "But no one quite like you". Your eyes darted to look at him like that. Your eyes meet his. And then and there, it felt as if you two had seen each other for the first time. Looked and saw.

With a silent agreement settled, Azriel followed you up the stairs toward the room the kids shared. A plate full of cookies in one hand, his shadows holding four glasses full of milk. He questioned your choice to go up the moment you presented it. For Zofie. The hunting gaze of the fear she carried still followed Azriel's mind. But he knew that Axel was waiting. For some reason, the thought of letting him down now felt worse than losing a battle.

"I'm considered their guardian", your voice bounced off the empty corridor. "All orphans have one for the transitioning period", Azriel felt the way you cringed at the words transitional. Even to him, it felt off-putting. Jabbing straight at the wound that bled the most. You told him about Padme. The laws of the sanctuary followed the priestess who ran it. For the most part, at least. Azriel knew that was only the crumbs. But he was glad to learn at least that. To understand at least a small portion.

"Are they still in that period?", Azriel finally asked. He had fallen into a comfortable pace next to you. "Technically, no, but... we bonded too much. I couldn't bring myself to separate from them", you said quietly. As if you were in a way ashamed of the world that left your mouth. He wondered how many kids had been in their place before them. After? His shadows hadn't sensed the presence of anyone new, but he was sure that the mass of faces was growing still, especially knowing the situation in the mountain camps.

Azriel wanted to say just how much it amazed him. The way this place radiated happiness even with the trauma everyone bore. How wonderful was the work you did here. But you had leaned closer to the door. Ear placed on the wooden door as you listened in. Azriel stilled at that; his Illyrian hearing offered him a chance to peer in as well, yet he doubted it was needed. The shrieks and cackling could be heard from where he stood.

He knew it was Axel and Zofie. His mind was engraved with the sound of their laughter from the communal. Yet Azriel couldn't help the dread that pooled in his stomach as you opened the door. The voices halted, but only until the kids were met with your presence. Azriel tried to fold his wings behind him tighter in hopes of appearing smaller. He had never imagined himself doing any of that before, but here he was. The spymaster's eyes instantly landed on the drawing of a winged male standing on top of the mountain with a raised sword. There was more than one too. All plastered on the walls. The blue dots no doubt resemble his sapphires. But... Azriel's heart skipped a beat for a moment. He hadn't worn his Illyrian leather here, so how would he have been able to...

But that familiar force launched at his feet. Azriel's hand instantly reached to mess with the head of black hair. "You came", Axel breathed. "Wouldn't you agree that I earned a cookie as well?", The spymaster teased the youngling slightly, earning a laugh that warmed the deepest parts of his bones. Yet Azriel's eyes scanned the room till he saw a tiny hand gripping your skirt, her body hidden behind your frame, only a tiny side of Zofie's face visible to him.

As Azriel kneeled, he wondered what horrors she had to endure beside him to fear a male so much. He knew this skittishness towards him was the grave he had dug himself, but she—that tiny girl—was a survivor too. Too young to bear a burden so deep. But hadn't Azriel bet too little too? Azriel found Zofie's eyes, and as frightened as she was, she held an unfalteringly tight gaze. Azriel handed a cookie to one of his shadows. The tiny creature slowly lured towards the girl. Zofie hid further behind you, yet her curiosity was too strong, and she peaked almost immediately.

"I can't promise that I haven't mixed up salt with sugar, but... well, you'll have to tell me if they are edible", Azriel said gently. He had a low, deep voice, but it still felt like velvet as it rolled down his tongue. Zofie spared him a look before her eyes fixed on the shadow right in front of her, tiny blobs holding the sugar cookie for her. And to Azriel's surprise, she took it. She took it and dove back to her hiding place. The shadow moved to glimpse over your side, but Azriel pulled it back. "Is it good?", you asked the girl softly. Azriel could hear the munching sound—a light tug pulled at the side of his lips. "Well, I didn't make them; Azriel and Axel did. You should tell them your thoughts", you said to the girl softly. Azriel hadn't hoped for anything in return from her. The fact that she had taken the cookie was more than enough for him. He was going to gain her trust slowly. He was willing to do so. Try. A tiny hand moved from behind you. And Azriel caught a glimpse of a tiny thumbs-up that greeted him. And something shifter within him, something that would stay with him for the rest of his life.

#azriel acotar #azriel acotar imagine #azriel x reader #azriel x you #azriel spymaster #azriel imagine #azriel acotar x reader #azriel shadowsinger #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you

[yiminsuu]

Please, Stay

Pairing: MK1 Syzoth/Reptile x F!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (+18), breeding, two cocks, angst and fluff, self-esteem issues, jealousy, friends to lovers, mentions of violence.

Author’s Note: Did I buy a ps5 just to play MK1? You bet. He needs all the loving in the galaxy and we'll give it to him no matter how much it costs! Please the way his family was taken from him was just so cruel, baby boy didn't deserve it...

Shattering noises reached my eardrums as I stepped into the kitchen of the academy, watching Syzoth sigh in desperation while his emerald eyes stared at the broken cup on the ground. I felt my heart breaking at his lost expression, yet I ceased all desire to touch him and walked away as silently as I could.

Since meeting Liu Kang and the others my seemingly normal life took a toll, transforming me into a 24/7 killing machine with 0 possibility of my enemies ever escaping Kombat. According to the Fire God, I always had this in my blood, now I just have to balance it… I just didn't expect that coming to a different realm and being incarcerated by a maddened sorcerer was the way to do so. That's where we met him, that's where we crossed eyes, that's where I fell enchanted by him.

Perhaps it was the anxiety of meeting someone new, or maybe I wanted to punch someone for the horrible things done to the people of Outworld, but there was no way of knowing I was attracted to what Baraka called a 'Zaterran', at least not at the time. Seeing Syzoth in his real form was surprising because I had never seen his kind, but the reptilian didn't know this, and in the beginning, I was sure he hated me to the core. He kept a certain distance from me unless I engaged against someone, he had my defense just like I had his, I didn't think much about it to be honest, I was sure he wanted to stay on the good side of the rest.

So when I spoke with Ashrah about our teammates in the gardens at tea time, she made it clear that she wanted me to talk more about Syzoth, indicating how protective he was over me when our battle against Quan Chi and Ermac took place, or when Li Mei chased after me when I made a mistake. I mean… I am practically a child compared to them, I found it normal that even Johnny would aid me at all times. I did notice their growing friendship as time passed, I was happy Syzoth could grieve his family in peace, and that he can have a joyful life from now on, yet after so much I don't think he's comfortable with me, don't think he'll ever be.

"Sometimes, people need to reflect on their past to come to peace with their mistakes."

"Thanks Ashrah, not undermining your achievements, but just because you did it doesn't mean others can do it as easily."

"Then why not come with me and Syzoth to Outworld? We will have a chance to speak our minds while we have dinner."

I declined, didn't feel like being the third wheel.

Realizing I was jealous was quite easy, but I swallowed it down, it's normal for me to get my hopes up to then be crushed mentally and emotionally. I was in silent rage, and I almost broke Raiden's skull in a friendly kombat so I decided to retreat to my accommodations with Liu Kang's permission who, weirdly, didn't stop smiling at me as I left. Following my encounter with Syzoth, I sprinted to my room and screamed into the pillow with genuine self-hatred for not asking if he was okay, and with regret in my mind, I drifted off to sleep.

Subsequently, waking up in the middle of the night to knocks on my door scared me, I thought there was some sort of emergency and I hurriedly opened the door to freeze immediately at the sight of the reptilian, he looked stunned at the speed in which I answered that he visibly gulped. "Syzoth, hey… I-Is something wrong?" Don't take me wrong, I did try to have conversations with him plenty of times, but he either avoided or ignored me, so I just gave up. "Do we have an emergency?"

I jumped in place when he changed into his reptile form, speechless at the action, we stared at each other in silence until his human form came back with a deep exhale. Even then, Syzoth refrained from saying a word for a good minute and turned to walk away before stopping and muttering something under his breath, cursing slightly. "Can I-- Can I come in…?" He questioned loud enough. With a furrowed eyebrow and with a growing heartbeat, I let him into my room and closed the door gently, once I glanced at Syzoth, his back was turned to my figure, and his head hanging low.

I cleared my throat, getting his attention, but he wouldn't budge from his position. "Did something happen? Is Johnny bothering you with the whole movie thing?" It's 3 a.m. but I'm sure Cage is still awake doing whatever an actor does in hopes his movie would be a success. "I can speak with him." I finished. Frowning at the lack of answer, I crossed my arms and my anger built up fast in my body. "Look, if you only woke me up to stand silent in the corner of my room you might as well leave, we'll speak in the--"

"Do you hate me?" I shut my mouth and widened my eyes at him.

Hate him? How could I? He's saved me more times than I could count. "Why… Why would--"

"I've seen how you watch me, how everyone watches me." There was so much sadness in his normally soft voice, his beautiful eyes staring into my own with every emotion he could find. "Do I look that monstrous, (Y/N)? Do I look so hideous you can barely withstand me to be in your company? You turn away every time I try to be with you in the same room, is it because of my true form…? Do I scare you? Or is this human skin just as mundane for you?" Syzoth transformed into his Zaterran form again. "Will I receive hate from you no matter what sort of shape I possess?"

Nothing came out of my lips, mostly because of the shock from his unexpected outburst, Syzoth looked away and took a few steps back from me, his whole demeanor changing into one of desolation. The room got darker when the moon hid behind clouds as if to make the reptilian a cruel favor. "Syzoth…" I called but got interrupted.

"Someone like you will never see me as an equal, and I should have known, but you… Looked so innocent in that cell that I couldn't resist securing you from harm. I beg of you, forgive me if I intimidated you as far as not accepting a dinner invitation, I want you to know you are the last person I ever want to hurt in any way. I'll stay away, just… Don't look at me with those eyes, the eyes of someone frightened, not you…"

Without thinking, I placed my hands on his reptile cheeks, his pupils dilating under my touch, he felt cold but I didn't let that bother me, there's nothing about him that could bother me. "I don't hate you, okay? And I'm not scared." I uttered to him, and in a flash, his human shape graced me, staring down at me with a glow in his eyes I'd never seen before. "But, you were--"

"Syzoth, you are the kindest soul I've met, you did everything you could to protect your family, you helped us defeat Shang Tsung and saved our lives countless times. Besides, I couldn't care less about your appearance, you are so handsome, soft-spoken, and courageous." I pursed my lips as I saw something shift in the way he looked at me, maybe I should've said something more worthy of being seen as his friend instead of stating the obvious, I have a crush-- No, I am full in love with him. I felt as if the world was torturing me all this time, and I failed to see I was the one torturing him with my avoidance of solving my own problems. "You mean it…? All of it?" Syzoth's hands rested on mine, his body slightly closer to touch mine.

"I do. I was surprised the first time I saw your true form, I'm not gonna lie, but I've grown accustomed to Outworld's unique beauty… What I did not like, on the other hand, was being called 'freakish'." I smiled brightly when he chuckled, the tension between us quickly evaporated, but I knew something changed. "I am sorry, you are anything but freakish." He paused, and my cheeks grew hotter as my hands were held by calloused ones. I gathered the little braveness I had and spoke. "I actually thought you hated me, you observed and followed after me everywhere, I was sure you wanted to kill me at some point."

"Oh, I didn't mean--" With the light of the moon, I saw his expression turn into a nervous one. "No! (Y/N), have you seen yourself in a mirror? You look so lovely, so breedable…"

Both of us stopped to process what the reptilian said.

Syzoth covered half of his face with his hood while I stood in place, screaming internally. "Fuck… I didn't want it to come out like that, I wanted to take you out first." I was thrilled at the thought of him having me how he desired, so I shut my mind from judgment and gulped down my anxiety, and kissed his cheek. He gazed at me with widened eyes, letting go of his hood and leaning closer to me, pecking my lips experimentally, so delicately as if I was going to break in his arms. I felt hot at the sensation of being wanted, and kind of ashamed for judging his relationship with Ashrah.

The Zaterran halted all movement to gaze at me. "I need your mind right here, baby. Please." I almost whined when he pulled me to him, kissing him as our clothing came off and sitting on his lap while he moved his head down towards my stomach and pressed open-mouthed kisses against my skin. "Your mouth feels good…" When I looked into his eyes, which were already staring back at me, I felt myself relax, his eyes were so soft and held so much love, that I felt like my heart was going to burst at the sight. Syzoth pressed his lips against my breast, squeezing the flesh of my thigh, enjoying how I shivered underneath his fingertips. I gasped when he bit my chest, breath hitching when he snapped away my underwear, inhaling my body as if it was the sweetest flower he found.

I kissed his forehead and embraced him by the neck, receiving a groan from him promptly. My breathing was turning heavy as his hands traveled from my thighs to my buttocks, pressing me against his clothed manhood. "W-Was that dinner supposed to be a setup?"

"Yeah… Truth be told, if you had gone I would have bent you over right then and there." Dammit Ashrah, you should've given me a hint. I shoved away the thought of her and planted a kiss on his neck, a breathless 'more' left his lips, sliding his remaining wear down and I gave out a wail when I felt two hard cocks on my behind. "Syzoth, you--"

"You don't have to take both, it's fine. I know this isn't something humans see every day…" He's going to be the dead of me, and the worst thing is, he knows about this by the expression he's wearing now. A soft mewl echoed in the room when one of his cocks brushed against my hole, he almost salivated at the sight of our bodies prepared to join together. "I promise I'll make you feel good, extremely good." Syzoth smirked as he laid on my bed, his thumb playing with my clit as his tip kept teasing my entrance, choked moans leaving my mouth and my fingers went to grab his short hair.

I let out a desperate whine when he suddenly entered me, my lips shaping an O as his finger abused my clit. "Syzoth…! F-Fuuck!" The sound of my wetness made me feel so self-conscious, but the way he looked so lost in pleasure excited me to no end. He retreated his finger when I arched my back, my walls clenching around his still-entering cock. "So warm… So perfect…" His piercing, green eyes kept eating at the scene, and his lips let out a sound of thrill for being able to be completely inside me, pushing my body against his as I shook above him, the moan that left me was unholy.

"Yes, yes, shit…" I heard him utter nonstop, his tail appearing to grasp around my thigh.

"Y-You’re stunning…" I told him, and the reptilian groaned deeply at my words, sitting once more and kissing me hungrily as he began moving. Syzoth bit my shoulder and spread my legs further apart so he could thrust deeper, he smiled weakly against my trembling skin, hugging me tightly as he felt his other cock rubbing against my asscheeks. I pushed his torso into mine, tears brimming in my eyes and both moaning between kisses. "Just like that, pretty… Take me all in…" I managed to nod, pulling Syzoth into another kiss as my legs wrapped around his torso. I was becoming desperate, the feeling of his cock stretching me out felt heavenly, I could feel every inch of him as he moved inside of me.

Syzoth grunted, tightening his hold on my body so it would become impossible for me to escape. "Fuck…!" He cursed loudly, forehead pressing against my neck. "(Y/N), please (Y/N)! Let me cum inside…!" His tip pressed against my cervix, and I attempted to shift my position a bit but his hold was unbreakable. He looked so needy with that fucked expression of his, so gorgeous with sweat running down his muscle, and purely swallowed by pleasure and pain alike. My forehead rested on his and he gasped, finally moving his hips faster, he was trying to reach the deepest depths of my being.

I could feel the love radiating off him in every action, the way he kissed me, how he embraced me, the affection in his eyes… I could feel it all, tears cascaded down my cheeks, kissing his lips. "Don't let go of me…" I whispered, holding onto him as my hips moved in sync with his. Syzoth whispered my name like a mantra, followed by many words of adoration amidst our lovemaking. "I will never let go."

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat x reader #mk #mk1 #mk x reader #mk1 x reader #reptile #reptile x reader #syzoth #syzoth x reader #mk reptile #mortal kombat reptile #mortal kombat imagines

[kenmakodz]

CANDID LOVE ˙✧˖📷

07. i hate men (except you two) ☆

writing in-between cuts!

yuuta practically flies to where his friends are, feeling horrible after seeing maki's tweet. he really does make them wait forever sometimes. it's not his fault! he just.. looses track of time... all the time.

"ah, the man of the hour finally arrives." maki teases, sitting up from the bench her and toge were sitting on. out of all his breath, yuuta bends over with his hands on his knees. "yes. here i am, heaving, because you two rushed me." a laugh rises from the boy beside him, paired with a small push. "isn't being dramatic my thing?"

the three begin walking, and yuuta feels as if the whole time, maki's eyes are burning holes into his side. he tries to ignore it until he cant anymore- eventually curiosity (and anxiety) gets the best of him. "why are you staring so much?" he asks, and notices as soon as he turns his head to her, suddenly her eyes are fixated on the sidewalk in front of them instead. she sighs, "i'm just shocked you didn't invite y/n, i was kinda hoping you would ask if she could come." yuuta stays silent, utterly confused. was it wrong to not invite her? i mean, we all consider her a friend- but by the way maki worded her text, it seemed like she didn't want her to come..? toge chimes in, realizing yuuta doesn't know what to say next. "yeah, last night, her and nobara were conspiring on the phone about this for like.. hours. you were supposed to invite her, and we were supposed to leave you two alone after a while" now, yuuta is even MORE confused. but, at least he conveys it in words this time. "what? why? i would've invited her, but it seemed like you didn't want her to come!" toge turns around to maki, giving her the most intense 'i told you so' look he's ever given. she brushes him off with a click of her tongue, despite knowing he's right. the rest of maki's words resonate in yuuta's head, and he continues. "also- what do you mean leave us alone?" maki sighs again, and yuuta wishes he could ignore the feeling of guilt pooling inside of him. they had a whole plan, and he'd ruined it. even more so, he unknowingly left out the girl he'd wanted to be with the most. "we're trying to get you to confess having a crush on her already." she says, in a matter-of-fact manner. yuuta scoffs at this point, already feeling like he'd ruined the whole night. "i don't need you guys to conspire for me. if i ever decide to confess to her, i will. getting us alone won't help either-- i was alone with her last night and still had crippling anxiety." the two friends laugh, and practically shrug it off.

"...did i do the wrong thing by not inviting her?"

"yeah, but it's okay."

the facetime call clicks on, and immediately yuuji's voice chimes through. "y/n!!" you laugh, setting your phone up next to you in a way that your friends can see your face. the next person to join the call was nobara, and you can tell she's fresh out of the shower. her hair is wet, and her camera is slightly blurry- from steam, you assume. "what's up bitches! yuuji, are you setting up the server?" an affirmative hum comes from the other end of the line, indicating that he is. nobara's phone gets noticeably closer to her face, and you can only feel like she's examining you.

...of course she is. "y/n, are you alright?" you nod, and smile back at your phone. "i'm okay, nobara. it's really not that big of a deal. they're just going downtown, and like megumi said, they were all friends before i came here." you notice yuuji's face starts to soften from the focused one he had on beforehand, seemingly feeling bad for you, yet not saying anything. she sighs, and puts her phone down to rub a towel through her hair. her voice echoes a bit due to her being far away. "you know, though. last night, maki and i made this big plan for yuuta to invite you out with them. i have no idea what happened to it." before you can respond, the sound of megumi joining the call resonates throughout everyones phones. it gives you a split second to feel an uncertain feeling run through your stomach. "do you think.. she told him about it?" you think out loud at this point, knowing your friends would never judge how you feel. "she very well could have, and he could've hated the idea of it." nobara's head shakes aggressively, and water droplets fly all over the camera. "shit! no- no, y/n. no way she told him, he was supposed to do it on his own accord. i guess he fucked up, i'm sure maki has told him now though." you scoff, "how is that supposed to make me feel better though?! that just means he wasn't even thinking about it." a long groan comes from the other girl once again, and she picks up her phone- her whole face filling the screen. if you weren't upset, you'd be laughing at the sight. "if what i hear from maki is the truth, this guy is literally whipped for you. you have nothing to worry about, he's just an idiot." she puts her phone down again, and walks off to most likely put her towel away. the call goes silent, and to the other two boys, it's obvious you're thinking to yourself. her and maki talk about me and yuuta? well, i'd be surprised if they didn't, but they think he likes me back? there's no way in hell he does if he forgot about me. you put your head in your hands, and now it's your time to groan. except, instead of an annoyed one, it comes out as frustrated and lovesick. "i hate men." you mutter, words muffled by your palms. both yuuji and megumi chime in with a synchronized "hey!" which makes you laugh, pulling your head up. "except for you two."

after playing for what seems like a few hours, a disconnection sound turns everyone's attention back to their phones. "who the hell disconnected?" nobara asks, grabbing her phone at the same time as you. yuuji gasps and begins typing rapidly. "it was megumi!"

you and nobara give eachother a knowing look, before you realize there are unchecked notifications on your phone. "oh, guys- yuuta texted me." your voice seems soft, but not upset. nobara hums, "what did he say?" the sound of phones chiming over the call seems to be her answer, you'd sent a screenshot of it. "i don't think i'm going to answer him.. not right now."

fun facts -> yuuta paced around his room, wondering whether or not he should ask maki if y/n could come. her text seemed passive-aggressive, but he could've just been overthinking it. he ultimately decided against it (despite really wanting her to be there), because he didn't want to make his friends uncomfortable. toge knewwww yuuta would do this after maki sent her text, and tried to convince her to just invite y/n herself. but, being her stubborn self, she didn't. drats!! foiled again :/

-> i hope there isn't too much writing...... but anyways ! miscommunication &lt;3

previous, masterlist, next [08. grow some balls!!]

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⤷ © kenmakodz

#jujutsu kaisen #okkotsu yuuta #yuuta x reader #yuta x reader #jjk smau #jjk x reader #jjk fluff #yuuta okkotsu fluff #yuta okkotsu #yuuta okkotsu smau #yuuta smau #yuuta x you #jjk crack #jjk texts #yuuta fluff #yuta fluff #yuuta okkotsu x you #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk x fem!reader #jjk yuuta #okkotsu yuta #yuta x you #yuta x y/n #yuuta fluff #yuuta fic #jjk #jjk yuta

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Imagine Shanks yearning domesticity

Author's note: I head canon that Shanks has ADHD, and sometimes for people with ADHD (and I'm speaking from 20+years of personal experience) have trouble identifying their emotions. And kind of like Luffy, that Shanks is some shade of demisexual and or aromantic.

After a scouting mission

Hongo: hey boss we got a problem.

Shanks: uh oh, what problem is that?

Hongo: we found this at a ship wreck on the other side of the island

Howling Gab: *puts a bassinet on the table in front of Shanks*

Shanks: oh no, we've done this before, and it did not end well. I ended up not getting any sleep for months. Put that thing back where you got it.

Hongo: there were no other survivors from the wreck, and there is no one else on the island. So leaving the child on the island isn't an option.

Shanks: *groans*

Benn: Are you going to be the one to take cared of the little shit?

Hongo: about that *his eyes drift over to you*

Benn and Shanks: *follow his gaze*

Benn: perfect, the rookie'll take care of it.

You: oh no, I didn't sign up to become a nanny.

Shanks: but you're so good at taking care of the rest of us, what's one more? *Picks up the baby wrong*

You: Shanks, you have to support its head! *Repositions the infant on to his shoulder *

Shanks: *shivers at your touch in a way that takes him off guard*

Benn: see, you're a natural.

You: well too bad, it's going to have to stay with you lot while I finish cooking dinner.

Lucky Roux: I can do that for you. *Doesn't wait for your answer, and just removes your apron and places the baby in your hands*

You: this is despotism by the way.

Shanks: probably, but the baby looks comfy

Baby: *fell asleep the moment you wrapped your arms around it*

You: *sighs and looks around for a place to sit down, only for every spot to be taken*

Shanks: *pats his knee in invitation*

You: *sits down across his lap, putting your feet in Benn's lap, and leaning yourself and the baby against his chest*

The crew: *coos at how cute the three of you look*

An hour later

The crew: * left the room to finish their chores*

You: *asleep with your head pressed into the crook of Shank's neck*

Shanks: *stroking the baby's cheek and periodically glancing over at your resting face*

Benn: You three look quite cozy *pulls out his cigarettes*

Shanks: no smoking around the wee one, and I know it won't last.

Benn: I'm sensing a 'but' coming.

Shanks: *shakes his head*, it's just that this feels... right. I almost don't want it to end, but we need to get the baby back to their family or at least somewhere safer than my ship.

Benn: the baby aside, you and (y/n) don't have to end. I know you've known you've had feelings for them for weeks. It's not like you to ruminate for so long, you usually know exactly how you feel.

Shanks: *sighs* this is different, they're different, and it feels like I'm different now too.

Benn: explains a lot about your behavior lately.

Shanks: my behavior?

Benn: you haven't seemed like yourself lately.

Shanks: because I haven't felt like myself for a few weeks. *Tucks a strand of your hair to the side* I have so many doubts and a lot of anxiety with them here. If they'll live to see tomorrow. If they'll get sick and need medication we don't have. If they're safe here, or if they'd be safer hidden away on an island only we know. But despite all of that the thought of them leaving fills me with even more anxiety. Like what would happen if someone showed up to hurt them, and I wasn't there to protect them.

Benn: you're in love dude.

Shanks: nah, I just want them to be around to bring me sweets, or to straighten my outfit before I go out to port. It's not like I want them to kiss me or ... *Looks at your sleeping face*... Oh, dear

Benn: dummy

Shanks: don't you have duties to finish up?

Benn: good night boss.

Shanks: *takes you to sleep in his bed and puts the baby in the bassinet for the night before crawling into bed with you* all of this makes no sense, but for once I don't mind.

List of Up-and-coming works

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#one piece #one piece x reader #one piece imagine #red haired shanks #red hair shanks #akagami no shanks #shanks x reader #akagami no shanks x reader #red hair pirates #benn beckman #hongo #from the depths of the dragon's hoard #tma original #8/7/23 #no beta we die like men

[honeydippedwaffles]

Smallest Drop - Part 3

Summary: Tav knew she was falling for him in some ways but she didn't realise just how bad it had become until she got shot in the leg while killing a vampire hunter for him.

Meanwhile, Astarion really doesn't understand Tav and her strange solutions to problems and ignoring it really isn't working well.

I've already planned a part 4 because I'm addicted. Tav is not mentioned by name.

Content Warnings: She/Her Tav

Word Count: 3k words

╔═══*.·:·.☽✧    ✦    ✧☾.·:·.*═══╗

Though she tried her utmost to appreciate every environment they explored (if only because she would otherwise go crazy), she couldn’t find much she liked about the swamp. Not even with its sweetened flowers, warm sunlight, and strange sheep.

She was almost a thousand percent sure those were polymorphed humans but she refused to worry about them yet. Whatever had created them surely would reveal itself and for now, she focused on the bigger problem before her.

A monster hunter standing before her with a friendly smile on his face and a laugh echoing across the swamp as though he hadn’t threated one of her companions.

He may not know what he’d done but it put her on edge regardless.

She made sure not to look at Astarion, a subliminal concern in her. She refused to give too much attention in case it drew his gaze over to those glinting red eyes or faded but very obvious scars nestled against pale skin.

Instead, she stepped forward and demanded all the attention she could with a loud voice and a smile. “Sounds awfully boring,” she said. “To hunt one creature for so long and not make any progress. Hardly even a challenge or thrill to just slowly camp somewhere and wait.”

The hunter chuckled and she seethed. “The first thing you learn in my line of work is never underestimate your opponent. This spawn has been eluding me for quite some time.”

She tried to keep her expression neutral but struggled. Even in her best moods, she couldn’t hide what she thought and the anxiety in her chest was stronger than ever. Maybe he would think the worry in her face showcased a fear of the creature rather than of him.

“Only a spawn?” she asked. “Pity. Not like it’s a real vampire. There’s little glory to be had in such a hunt.”

He frowned at the accusation in her tone and raised an eyebrow, perhaps confused by the hostility in her voice.

Before he could answer though, Astarion drawled, “I don’t know. I’m sure a vampire spawn could still rip your throat out if he felt like it.”

She couldn’t help a slight smile. Though perhaps not happy, he didn’t sound nervous which meant they fight should be easy. Lae’zel, bored as she was, never complained about further bloodshed and undoubtedly this hunter had no experience facing a gith sword.

Her own bloodthirstiness surprised her. Rarely did she feel the desire to spill blood quite as intensely as she did now and no guilt followed. This man dared to threaten somebody she cared for and she immediately moved to murder.

She really needed to be careful of the strange hold Astarion had on her.

“He is right, unfortunately. They’re only weak when compared to their masters. During the day we have the advantage but when night falls, you will not find a more dangerous quarry.”

She pretended to wince. “Awful for somebody like you to hunt something so fierce when you appear barely able to fight one of these sheep. Should I not worry about one of these spawn creeping up on you when you least expect it?”

The hunter appeared thoroughly offended and Lae’zel snorted in what she had started to learn may be a laugh.

“Well, we’ve stayed alive so far so perhaps we can focus on that.” Astarion reminded her of a cat playing with a mouse. But the cat also hovered far away from the potential battle, uncertain.

“It’ll be safer for you to keep patrols at night,” the hunter warned. “Just in case it tries anything.”

“I don’t think I will.”

He tried to be friendly and helpful but now he simply frowned. She almost felt bad for turning rude and abrasive, noticed how her response made him a little more uncomfortable but not enough to reach for a weapon. Her hand however drifted closer to her blade.

Morals said she should provide him a false lead and send him on a wild chase far away from her party.

Her brain said he may be a threat. If he doubled back or found out about her deception, he could sneak into their camp and take Astarion before she noticed.

And her heart told her if she let him go, Astarion wouldn’t relax again. He may not even stay in the area if he thought the hunter lurked nearby – too jumpy and flighty to stick around their group.

Her morals would need to keep quiet until she dealt with this.

“Maybe we should take him up on his recommendation,” Astarion suggested. “Or deal with this threat now.”

“Take him out before he hurts anybody,” she said and it was an agreement.

The hunter waved his hands quickly. “Oh, I wouldn’t recommend hunting a vampire spawn if you have no experience. You may be a strong fighter but I doubt you’d be able to challenge one.”

“I wasn’t speaking about Astarion,” she said. “If he wanted me dead, he’s had ample opportunities so far.”

Astarion hummed, almost chuckling. “You’re not wrong. It’s lucky that you’ve proven yourself far more useful alive.”

The hunter’s gaze slowly drifted between her and Astarion and her grip tightened on her blade. “That’s impossible,” he said as he reached for his crossbow. “There’s no way you’re –“

She stepped forward and slipped the blade free. Steel sunk deep into flesh and he choked out a garbled, surprised sound as his throat split open. Disgusting.

Blood sprouted from his neck and down his chest as he fell backwards, eyes wide with shock. But she had been too confident and she didn’t notice how he’d managed to get his crossbow out; how he pulled the trigger even as the last of the dark red pulsed from his throat.

The bolt stabbed directly through her thigh. It drove straight through the leather and pierced the flesh beneath even as the others drew their weapons to assist in a battle she’d already won.

She collapsed to one knee as his body thumped against the ground with a few ragged gasps. This was scarcely her first time being shot by a crossbow bolt but something must have coated the weapon. Poison or enchantment, she didn’t know but the pain and the weakness spread fast through her body and her blade fell onto the soft grass below.

“Are you alright?” Wyll arrived at her side first, concerned.

“I’m fine,” she reassured him through gritted teeth. “He’s dead right?”

“From what I could see,” Astarion said with a dramatic sigh. “Well, that’s a pity. I wanted to kill him myself.”

She ignored him and put a bit of pressure on the site of the injury. Her muscles burned fiercely as she decided to leave the bolt in for now. Rather not pull it out when she didn’t know what clung to it.

She slowly stood and blood pulsed down her leg in thick rivers. It slicked the area between her armour and left awful, sticky trails.

No visiting the strange old woman it would appear. She refused to explore a swamp when her leg felt like this.

She stepped forward and hissed in pain, just about collapsing once more if it hadn’t been for Wyll’s support on her back. Definitely something strange about this one.

“We do have spare health potions,” he said as he looked at the bolt. “But this has some magic on it. We should get back to the camp to make sure it isn’t going to deal any long-term damage.”

“I like that idea,” she admitted with a strained and uncomfortable laugh. “It’s a little sore.”

Over the past few days, she’d had many close calls with many weapons but this wooziness… she hated it. The air around her swam as she limped her way along the ridiculously long road back to their camp, reassuring her companions with soft words which held no purchase. Even they could see the way the energy drained from her body with each step.

She accepted only the occasional of assistance from Wyll and tried to make it appear as though the injury didn’t bother her.

Honestly, it had been her fault entirely. She should have noticed the crossbow and been more aware of when he pulled it free. Anger clouded her vision then and still did as they walked back.

The audacity of such a man who dared to threaten her friends… he agitated her even now when he lay on the floor, destined to be anything more than food for the various animals in the area.

Astarion didn’t return her occasional glances nor did he offer help.

She hoped he hadn’t become upset at her actions. Though he may have wanted to kill the hunter himself, she had seen an opportunity and taken it before anybody got hurt.

Well, aside from her.

The enchantment on the bold got removed swiftly but her body needed time to recover and the evening passed uncomfortably. Every muscle burned and her breaths came in soft, quick succession. She tried to keep her complaints quiet and not bother any companions. She had the antidote; she had a bandage. Now all she had to do was wait.

And wait.

The night’s hours stretched long as she lay in her tent. She prayed for sleep to find her but the ache in her bones and the burning pain refused to allow her an opportunity forward.

The footsteps distracted her from her twisting and turning. For somebody so akin to sneaking around, Astarion had stopped doing it after he’d given her a heart attack and she ended up headbutting him. He’d complained non-stop over it for at least an hour but now he didn’t sneak around anymore.

He stepped through the entrance of her tent, his hair haloed in moonlight. The night suited him as well as the day did. He looked practically ethereal as he drifted into her tent, every bit the predator she’d been warned about.

“Well, don’t you look like an absolute mess.”

She rolled her eyes and tilted her head away from him. “And it’s all because of you.”

“Me? It’s hardly my fault the man had a poisoned crossbow. You could have dodged it, you know. I’ve seen you twist your way out of worse hits than that.”

Almost always because of luck but she wouldn’t tell him as much. Instead, she offered him a small smile and tried to stop the tremble in her limbs. At least the pain felt lighter than before.

“Aren’t you meant to be cured or whatever by now?” he asked.

“Shadowheart said it’ll heal up by the morning at latest. I just have to last until then.” Exhausted of lying down, she pulled herself up into a sitting position, leaning against her travelling chest with her legs stretched out. “I’m surprised you came to visit. Are you worried?”

He put his hand to his heart and smiled. “You wound me. Of course, I’m worried. It’s not every day I find somebody dedicated enough to slice a man’s throat in my name.”

“The others would have done the same to keep you safe.”

“Nonsense. I wouldn’t trust any of them with catching a spider.”

She laughed. Though he complained, they were growing on him and she didn’t even need to prompt him to join their impromptu gatherings anymore.

“They like you.”

He ignored her comment and instead spoke of something else. “I believe my old master sent the hunter. He wants me back under his thumb, as I expected. This won’t be the only person he sends and not all will go down so easily.”

“I won’t get distracted next time then,” she laughed.

“Distracted?”

She gestured at him, knowing better than to voice the protectiveness for what it was. She didn’t understand it much either. “I’ve always told you how pretty you are. Now look what those sharp eyes have done. I couldn’t stop looking at them.”

She could play his game too. Offer him compliments and flattery instead of truth when he felt vulnerable.

“You can’t distract me with compliments,” he scoffed.

“Oh, I absolutely can.”

If she had the energy to do so, she would have continued but the wound pulsed in pain and she turned her attention to it, pressing against the soft skin to try and make it stop. The red bandage twisted her stomach into knots but it had stopped bleeding after a while.

Astarion appeared close to her unexpectedly, close enough to kiss with the smallest smirk on his face.

“You must try to stop yourself from getting hurt like this,” he said, trailing the faintest brush over her thigh. “It’s a waste of perfectly good blood. I almost couldn’t contain myself when I saw it running over your skin.”

She tried to laugh but it came out more exhausted than anything. “I’ll try but I make you no promises. My blood isn’t only yours.”

“Not yet. Perhaps the next time you give me the opportunity, I’ll drain it all so you can’t waste it.”

She tilted her head to the side to bear her throat, an exhausted but teasing smile in place. “I did say you could feed off me this morning, right? You’re welcome to take a bite now if you’re hungry.”

He appeared to not be able to tell if she joked or not. She smiled to tell him she was. Even if she had the blood to spare right now (and honestly, she didn’t), she doubted Astarion planned on feeding from her when he already felt as though he owed her some strange debt.

She’d noticed that about him. He only propositioned her when he felt as though he had to give her something in exchange.

It made her concerned.

He scoffed. “You couldn’t pay me enough. I can smell that rancid poison in your veins and it’s awful.”

She groaned and rolled her head back. “I hate this. It’s worse than that stupid apple I ate when we first entered the swamp and just as awful as when the goblin managed to sink its axe into my arm the other day. I thought I caught something from that at least.”

He chuckled. “Well, whatever magic was, it was likely intended for me so it probably won’t kill you.”

“If it’s going to kill me, I’d like it to get it over with. This pain is horrific.”

She expected him to leave soon but she took the opportunity to tap the spot beside her, asking him to sit down. What better company could she ask for? Elves didn’t sleep and despite pretending, Astarion certainly never allowed himself to meditate for very long at all.

“You’re very demanding, aren’t you?” Regardless, he took a seat and they lapsed into silence, punctuated only by her soft and somewhat shaky breaths.

She wanted to ask about the hunter. Wanted to know more about his old master and why he would be so desperate to claim a spawn back. Vampires could create as many spawn as they wanted to and he didn’t need to keep one at all times. It felt like a great deal of energy.

But as the silence stretched out, only one really bothered her enough to make her speak.

“Are you alright?”

“Obviously,” he laughed. “I’m not the one who got shot, was I?”

“No but I wouldn’t want to know a hunter is after me. I don’t want you to feel like you’re unsafe here.”

His smile turned bitter and unhappy as he answered that, his mouth twisted into a scowl. “Safe? Nowhere’s going to be safe as long as Cazador remains alive. The reach of a vampire lord goes far beyond what you may think.”

She may be a little light-headed for a proper conversation but she kept conscious, if unable to stop herself from leaning against his side. He was so cool. It felt amazing against the feverish nature of her skin and she wanted to hug him so badly.

“If he tries anything, I’ll make sure he doesn’t take you.”

He frowned at her and shifted his weight, not quite moving away from her but also not wholly embracing it. She hoped he would move away if he felt uncomfortable, as he did to a few of her other casual touches.

“You’re greatly misunderstanding the power he wields,” Astarion warned, his voice soft. “It would never be as simple as what we’ve seen so far. If he wanted to, he could stroll into this camp and whisk me away before you even noticed what had happened.”

Her solutions were a little scattered so she went for the easy one, taking his hand and lacing their fingers together before she could think about it.

“There,” she murmured. “If he tried to take you away now, I’ll notice immediately.”

Astarion’s muscles turned strangely tense and he made a small coughing sound, muttering something about how she would lose a hand then. She didn’t really hear it. Sleep crept up on her fast with the relaxing touch of his cool body and she lowered her head to his shoulder, eyes drifting closed.

When she woke in the morning, she lay alone in her tent beneath almost every blanket she owned and feeling brilliantly better. The pain faded and she felt ready to take on a hag.

Which incidentally is what they ended up doing. She spent the longest time afterwards wondering if she’d dreamed the previous night or not, distracted enough to nearly spill a bottle of unknown potion all over Gale. After a multitude of apologies, they made their way out and if Astarion’s hand brushed against the back of hers for a second, she didn’t mention it further.

Taglist: @venus-wrts @stephmundo @cassiopeia-adaar @escapistoftherealworld @scarletrosesposts @mavix

#baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate iii #baldurs gate astarion #astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader

[jiniretss]

Realization

pairing: bf!suna rintarou x fem!reader

warning: swearing, mention of cutting, mention of weight loss, name calling, etc.

wc: 1.4k

genre: angst

summary: Suna didn't realize until he saw what he had done.

Days and nights were always dark, lonely, silent, and heartbreaking. Nights where her whimpers of cries would just continue on until she passes out asleep. It continues the way it was for 4 whole years out of 8 of being married to Suna Rintarou, the amazing, popular, unique, and skilled blocker for National Boys Volleyball of all Japan. All she knew was that she barely saw her husband. Her head would snap to view the man she has married for 8 whole years, just for it only getting the vision of his back. The black sports jacket covered his body, revealing his team while caring for a bag. She would sigh to herself, getting the courage to talk to him. "Rin, here have some lunch I packed for yo -" by the time she could explain the dish, all she felt was a heavy slap of the dish flying away from the bento. Holding her hand closely towards her chest as to the bento breaks, therefore, glass shattered behind her. "I don't need your disgusting dish. All it does is just give me headaches!" He shouts while staring down on her trembling body. "God damn it. Now I'm late because of you. Such an ungrateful sight." He growled. Y/n couldn't help but cry once he had left the apartment. Palms against her face as she pulls on to her hair and for it to only scream out in pain. She couldn't see the light. All her mind was just fogged with only darkness. Messy. Exhaustion. Everything comes in mind that they can categorize. Her mind was fuzzed, but the tears slowly died down after screaming her heart out for the man she decided to spend her life with. Y/n couldn't think correctly. Everything rushing through her mind was just the only scene that happened 10 minutes ago. Her body moves before her actions can. Moving to pick up the bento, slowly being careful not to hurt herself with the sharp object that scatters among the dining room.

Staring at the food she spent the morning on, she sighed to herself as a single tears drops from her eyes. "What happened, rin?" She questioned, still picking up the dropped food that was settled on the ground. After some time had passed, it was 9 pm. Rintarou usual time to get home was 7:30. It's been 2 hours since. Calling him nonstop, messaging him where he was. But finally, hearing the keys jingle opening up the door, Y/n goes rushing towards the front door. "Rin, are you okay?" She asked with so much worry in her tone. "Did you eat? Are you hungry?" She continues to ask. Y/n was scared and worried for Rintarou, but all Rintarou was giving her the silent treatment. "Rin?" She asked again. "Can you just shut up?" He says, glaring down at her face, as her face just gives him a sad look. "Rin... can we just talk -" Rin groans in annoyance from the question. "Just stop! Stop being so ignorant, horrible, and a little peice of fucking shit in the house. Stop bothering me, I'm tired of you, I'm tired of your own well being. Stop just fucking stop. Every time I come back you just something I don't even wanna come back home. You such a little whore!!!" He yells, Y/n just staring into his eyes with her hands crumbled to her side. Her anxiety was kicking in. "I-I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt like tha-" her voice was small only for Rin to shove her back.

"Don't you fucking get it! I said stop! I don't wanna hear you. Matter a fact. I don't want to see you. I don't want you in my life. Your just a little bitch who's weeping around like a little sore loser... I could've stayed with Anna and be with her. She is such better than your ungrateful self. Look at you! You're getting bigger. You eating up all the food all the god damn time. At least Anna knows how maintain her weight. While you just go and eat and get bigger!!" He shouts loudly. Her wrapped around her waist, as tears shed down from her face. "Now leave me alone you unworthy crap!" He yells before stomping his feet the way up to the room. She fell to the floor. Palm to her mouth as she silently cry to herself.

The next few days, Y/n didn't do much. She only cleaned, making sure there was food on the table, but she hadn't eaten. She took the words that Rintarou had thrown towards her. Her boney body only shows through her use to fit clothing. Rin began to notice the sudden change. How her body was fragile, she begans to wear baggy clothes, how her arms weren't showing no more. And how she was always pale. Her face was miserable, and her anxiety began to worsen more than before. "Y/n?" Rin begins only for her body to flinch at his voice. "You need to eat. you're getting really skinny." He said, not looking up at her but eating his food. She just nods, not saying a word. Picking up her fork while her hands were shaking, she dropped the utensils. Rin looks up at her. "Why aren't you eating?" He asked. "I'm not hungry." She says, getting up and walking towards the guest room where she has been sleeping for a while. Rintarou sighed to himself, thinking why she was all of sudden acting this way. He followed her into the room and opened the door to see scars on her arms and legs. "Y/n?" Suna's voice shakes. Y/n turns her head and begins to hurry to put her clothes on. "Suna... knock next time." She says quietly. "Suna," the last name of his ringing in his head. She never called me that ever since middle school. "Have you been cutting yourself?" Rin wonders. "No." She said shortly. "Yes, you have, let me see." Rin says, as she backs up into the corner. "No." She repeated. "I'm your husband so let me see." He says getting closer as her lifted up her sleeves. Seeing freshly and old cuts being available to see. "Why are you cutting yourself." Rin looks up in a painful look.

"Why you care?" She says, snatching her arm away, pulling down the sleeve. She pushes past Rintarou and hops in the bed. He slides in right next to her to hold her small portion of the body. "Baby, what's wrong?" He asked again, still concerning over her actions. "Don't call me that." She replies. "What do you mean?" He sits up, staring at her face with tears coming down. "What's wrong?" He asked again. "You rin... you compared me to your ex-girlfriend, and then talked about my weight. Then tell me to shut the fuck up. And now you don't want that. You wanted space so I gave, you wanted me to lose weight right, so I gave. You wanted me to be like your ex girlfriend Anna, so I gave it. You wanted me to shut up, so I gave it to you. Still wanting to be by me, even though I'm ungrateful, a whore, a bitch, all those categories. Right, I am those. Cause I'm not as perfect as Anna was." She hiccuped between her words, only for Rin to remember what he said. "I'm sorry princess." Y/n looks over seeing that he was sorry. "I know you're not." She sighs. "But I forgive you." She trembles. Only for to hug her. "I don't want you to be like Anna, I want you to be yourself. I miss the way you would always make me food to bring to practice. I miss the way you healthy body looks, I miss everything about Y/n. Trust me. I was thinking about what I said and I know I hurt the love of my life. I'm really sorry. I was just stressed with the schedule I have that I've taken all theat stressed on to you. And I'm really sorry about it." Rin whispers, as he lied next to her for her to cuddle up against him. "Do me a favor. Will you be healthy again. It scares me to see you like this. I want you to be better." He smiles kissed her forehead. "Okay." Y/n mumbles. "Now let's go eat before the food gets cold. I'm going to watch you eat okay." She nods. As them both settled themselves downstairs in the dinning room.

#suna rintaro angst #suna x reader angst #suna rintarou #haikyuu angst #haikyuu #anime #x reader #anime x reader #suna angst #suna rintarō #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu #suna rintaro x y/n

[rogersideup]

｡°✩ ♊︎ The Gemini♊︎ ✩ °｡

Chapter 6

Little Birdie

Series masterlist

Previous part: Rearview next part: Twinkles

Word Count: 7,800

Warnings: My blog is 18+ only. All minors or blogs without an age in bio will be blocked. Minors DNI. Mentions and descriptions of sexual acts, anxiety, and sever depression.

One week.

Steve made it one whole week without you.

It was one of the longest weeks of his life.

Every day for seven days straight he needed Bucky to convince him not to text or call you. That conversation usually happened as Steve paced around his living room, while Bucky sat on his couch, threatening to get up and rip the phone out of his hands.

He couldn't even text you outside of work hours considering you blocked his number from being able to do so, but that still didn't stop the itch he felt to just see your name on his phone screen again.

Both boys were in agreement that Steve eventually should reach out and try to fix the damage that was done, because if your situation at the compound needed to get better just for the chance that you would stay, you at least needed your best friends back. But Bucky knew you deserved time and space away from all of the drama to really process it and figure out how you wanted it to end.

Bucky also knew a week of no contact with Steve would help the both of you stop fueling the fire. The harsh words would settle, reflecting back on the situation wouldn't feel as dramatic, and maybe now Steve would finally find the right words without the sight of you every day.

Plus, he would be damned if he let Steve have a conversation this serious with you over the phone.

Sure, both boys were extremely worried about you. There were a few times Bucky wanted to call and check up on you too, but he knew his own feelings shouldn't come before yours right now.

Meanwhile, the week did you wonders. You spent your days reconnecting with everything you used to love. Your favorite restaurants in the area, old friends you barely got to see now that you lived so far, the old yoga studio you attended 4 times a week, and seeing your family every day was healing in ways you didn't even know your heart could reach.

Filling the mornings and afternoons with everything you loved was important, but you knew better than to completely disregard the real issues at hand. So every night you'd go on a walk to the pretty park a few blocks from your childhood home, and meditate under the moon.

With the one airpod you had left, you'd let music shuffle and allow the lyrics to guide your thoughts. Some were a little to sad to bare, others were so on the nose you couldn't help but to listen over and over again while allowing the words to comfort you like a hug you've really been needing.

You and Steve were still friends and shared a playlist on your favorite music streaming app. Every night at the park you could see he was listening to sad music, and knew he could see you doing the same. Dramatic? Maybe. Were the sad melodies making you feel understood and less alone? Absolutely.

Eventually he got brave and while you sat under the moon and admired the stars, your headphones read the newest notification.

Steve Rogers added new song to playlist: Little Freak by Harry Styles.

You sighed, but against your better judgement you let the song play to understand what he was trying to say to you. Though the song was familiar to you, all this music was new to Steve. He loved listening to all your favorite artists and bonding over the modern music. The message was loud and clear when you heard it.

"I was thinking about who you are, your delicate point of view, I was think about you. I'm not worried about where you are or who you will go home too, I'm just thinking about you. I disrespected you, jumped in feet first and I landed too hard. Broken ankle, karma rules."

You knew deep down that you shouldn't give him the satisfaction of a response. He didn't deserve to be invading your sacred space, he knew how much music meant to you. But on the other hand, he deserved to know how much he hurt you. If he got to send you a message through song, you deserved to speak your mind too.

So you added a new song to the playlist as well. My Tears Ricochet by Taylor Swift.

"Even on my worst day, did I deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? Cause I loved you, I swear I loved you till my dying day. I didn't have it in myself to go with grace. You're the hero flying around saving face. If I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed? Look at how my tears ricochet."

After that, your phone was silent and nothing else was added to your playlist. You could see he listened to the song, then once it was over he was no longer active on the app.

You'd usually let your mind really reflect on what happened and what you wanted going forward, but you found that Steve took up most of your thoughts, and what to do about your career always came second to him.

It seems like your Mom and Dad's advice always leaned towards joining the Avengers. But why wouldn't it? All they ever wanted for you was to find something you love and run as far as you could with it.

Jane would've preferred you leave the field completely. You knew the nature of your job left her in a permanent state of unease about your safety, but you always reassured her that you were in good hands so you'd be okay.

Nathan was a little more understanding that not everything was so black and white, so he played devils advocate for all sides, and of course Luca wanted you to join the Avengers.

Hearing all of their perspectives was helpful to see the bigger picture, but at the end of the day, only Jane and Nathan knew the extent of what happened. You kept the whole Steve and Bucky situation away from your parents for the same reason you kept it away from Luca, you didn't want to ruin the illusion of a superhero for them.

Also.... Your parents really didn't need to know the nitty gritty on your escapades with the winter soldier.

All good things came to an end, especially having your whole family under one roof. After a whole week together, Jane, Nathan, and Luca had to go home to get back to their own life, while your mom and dad left to go on a few day vacation they had planned months ago. So it left you, and the family dog, Rocket, you happily agreed to take care of in their absence.

It was actually kind've nice to have time to yourself. You filled the day with morning yoga, brunch with a friend, some journaling and therapy, and a much needed nap. As the sun went down, you threw a toy around the house to try and get Rocket's energy out but it didn't help much. So after you cooked and ate dinner, you grabbed a tennis ball and walked him a few blocks to the park.

Luckily he was allowed off leash, and there was one other dog there for a little while that took an immediate liking to him, so they ran around and tuckered each other out while you sat on the grass and watched.

Eventually his little friend left, so it left just the two of you, the tennis ball, and the twinkling stars above head.

As lame as it felt to admit, the small spotty brown dachshund filled your soul with so much joy that you couldn't wipe the smile off your face. Throwing the ball, and watching his little legs carry him so far, so fast with tiny little hops was definitely one of the cutest things you've seen in a while.

He was a brave and trusting little creature in most aspects of life, but when the rumble of an approaching motorcycle got a little too loud for his liking, Rocket came running back to your side with his tail between his legs.

Sitting by your side, you picked him up and held him close to your chest while speaking calming words to him that he definitely didn't understand. You pressed little kisses to his forehead, and he licked your cheek in return causing you to laugh.

Feeling a little annoyed that the motorcycle pulled into the parking area for the park you were occupying on your own, you stayed vigilant of your surroundings. Fully prepared to leave when the man got off the bike, you set Rocket down and started reaching for his leash before the dog started running towards the man who was now walking towards the both of you.

"Hey! Rocket, no!" You jumped up from your spot to chase after the irrationality fast weenie. Tail wagging, and happy wiggles took over his little body as he hopped up on his back two legs to greet the stranger. "I'm so sorry! He usually never does this, I don't know why he's... oh."

I'm front of you stood none other than Steve Rogers himself, looking delectable and cozy in a cute teal crewneck and some casual pants with sneakers on. You immediately had a billion and one questions, but he was very obviously taken by Rocket who was also very obviously taken by Steve. There was a serious love as first sight situation happening as Steve leaned down with a big smile on his face to say hi to the little dog.

"It's okay!" Steve giggled, squatting down to get closer to Rocket. "He soooo stinkin' cute!"

"What are you doing here?" You asked, feeling throughly confused, and immediately feeling a little defensive and protective.

When he looked up at you, your arms crossed over your chest as a form of self soothing. It had been so long since you felt this uncomfortable energy, and having it ripple through your body once more felt like reconnecting with an old friend.

"Oh, I was just in the area." Steve said sarcastically, nonchalantly shrugging his shoulders.

"Right." You agreed. "Casually in the area two hours away from home... on a motorcycle?"

"An hour and 45 minutes is only an hour and 20 on a bike." Steve noted with a shy smile.

"And how did you know that this area you so happened to be in was the same place I was, even though I never told anyone where I was?" You tilted your head to the side.

"Oh, it's easy. A little birdie told me." Steve noted.

"What was the bird's name?"

"That's not important." He denied, still smiling at the dog but standing to his full height.

"I don't know, feels kind've important to me." You hated that you had to hold back a smile as you looked at him. And you hated even more that you couldn't stop thinking about how stupidly cute he looked with helmet hair and a cozy crewneck on.

"Do you want to sit and chat?" Steve asked, suddenly seeming nervous. "...if not that's fine we can talk a different time if you want."

"You came all this way just to talk?" You questioned.

Steve swallowed nervously as he nodded.

“You could've called me." You challenged.

"Sometimes I think the old fashioned way of doing things is better." He shrugged. "...Also you blocked my phone number after work hours."

You sighed and pointed to your blanket on the grass. "Sit."

He quickly nodded and obeyed your orders. He sat first, and you sat next to him, Rocket trailed behind with the tennis ball in his mouth before happily handing it to Steve.

"Who is this little guy?" Steve asked, throwing the ball for him.

"Rocket"

"Like the raccoon?"

“No, he's my parent's dog. They just thought the name suited him. But they're out of town for the next 3 days so he's mine until then." You explained.

"I heard you spent some time with your family. You look a lot happier, do you feel better?"

"So Jane was the birdie who told you where I was." You noted.

"Will not confirm nor deny."

"Mmm" you hummed, reading between the lines. "Yes, it was very nice spending time with people who love me. I do feel a lot better, but it's going to take a lot longer than a week to heal from everything that happened."

"Of course it will, but all that matters is that it's getting a little better everyday." Steve noted. "I don't know if this helps, but I think I put the fear of the devil into Harvey and all his friends. Should you choose to come back, I don't think they would be an issue for you anymore."

"Do I even want to know what you did to them?" You asked.

"I don't think the details really matter too much right now." Steve shrugged once more.

A very uncomfortable silence fell over the two of you, so you threw the ball for Rocket this time.

"Would you like to talk about the hard stuff?" Steve raised.

"Can't we just talk about the weather?" You complained, dreading the inevitable.

"It's pretty chilly out tonight." Steve noted. "You're not cold?"

"Nope." You exaggerated the P at the end of the word.

"Good chat." Steve giggled at the astronomical amount of discomfort and awkwardness you were exuding. "This is never going to get better if we don't talk about it."

"I haven't cried in a few days." You told him. "I'm dreading losing my streak."

"Crying is healthy, and so is expressing emotions." Steve told you. "For example, I really missed you and I've been worried about you for a while now, so I'm here to express that."

"Oh, so you weren't just in the area?" You questioned.

"I took my motorcycle to get to you as fast as I could, because I waited a whole week and every single day that passed by without me giving you a much needed apology was killing me slowly with an amount of guilt I didn't even know was possible for a human being to feel. So no, I was absolutely nowhere near the area."

"Was that the apology?"

"No." Steve denied. "I'm really sorry for everything that's happened. I feel like every interaction I've had with you this past month has been a really bad reflection of my character. I should've went about the whole situation with a lot more logic and understanding, and I should've just listened to you and Bucky before letting anger get the best of me. It wasn't fair to you."

Your eyes stayed fixed on Rocket as he hopped around the grass, he watched you slowly nod while processing his words. "I never meant to hurt your feelings, and if I knew back then what I knew now, Bucky and I would've never..."

"I know." Steve saved you from having to finish that statement. "And our last training was just... completely unacceptable. I wish there was a logical explanation as to why I was so upset that day. Quite honestly, every time I even start to think about it I feel just horribly embarrassed and completely mortified. I'm sorry for not listening to you and telling you that I didn't care. I'm sorry for scaring you and completely breaking your trust. Most importantly I'm really fucking sorry for hurting you. I should've listened better and walked you to medical the second you said something, and the fact that I only made it worse has kept me awake every night since it happened."

"Bucky said you were having a tough few days." You noted.

"It doesn't matter." Steve declined. "I need to do better than that, and I will. You were having some really hard days too, but you never used it as a reason to treat me like shit."

“I was pretty shitty to you."

"But within reason."

"I told you to ignore my existence, called you some not so nice names, yelled at you a few times..."

"Because I pushed you to that level of anger."

"The fact of the matter is that you felt that way because you felt disregarded and disrespected by Bucky and I, and for that, I'm sorry too." You apologized. "I know you weren't interested in hearing me out before when this all happened, and at the time none of the words really came out right. So if you're open to it, I feel like I'd really like a chance to explain the choices I made."

"Of course." Steve practically whispered with a subtle nod, throwing the ball once more for the dog. "But don't feel obligated to. I don't think I would've come all this way if I hadn't already forgiven you."

"This is never going to get better if we don't talk about it." You used his own words against him.

"Ah, so you do think we could make it better?" Steve asked.

"Why wouldn't I want it to get better?"

Steve sighed. "You made it pretty clear in a few different ways that you didn't want me as a friend or even around you at all anymore. A big part of me was expecting you to turn me away for good when I showed up here."

"Oh... sorry." You mumbled sadly, suddenly feeling bad about all the words you shouted at him out of pure, hot red anger.

"S'okay."

"Growing up, I was never really the center of attention for anything. I was never good at anything, I got straight B's in school, I had 2 friends at most. Even as I got older and went through high school I wasn't paid much attention to. I never had a boyfriend, I struggled a lot to make friends, once I even went to my teacher to ask him a question 4 months into senior year and he thought I was a new student even though I had been sitting in the second row of his class every single day."

"...yikes." Steve cringed.

"Yikes is right." You agreed. "I never thought I would exceed at anything at all in life. My big plans were finding a 5-9 desk job to make ends meet then just keep going until I didn't have to anymore. Then I discovered the joy of helping people, realized maybe I'm not all that bad at it, and before I knew it I was at Shield. Then all of the sudden I went from never getting much attention my entire life, to having all eyes on me at all times. I was being held to impossibly high standards, the boys wouldn't leave me alone, it felt like regardless of where I was in the building, there was this big huge spotlight on me."

Rocket had finally gotten too tired to play with his ball, so he came back to you and Steve, and laid down right next to Steve's leg. "Even I was hearing about you before you had made it to high enough ranks to work with me."

"Getting no male attention your whole life will kind've mess you up a bit, but going from no male attention to getting thrown into the compound where only a handful of other women work will mess you up a lot."

"Like throwing a zebra into a pack of lions."

"Even that feels like an understatement." You grinned. "Harvey was the first guy I met that didn't feel like he was going to eat me alive, so I stuck with him."

"He was your first boyfriend?" Steve asked, sounding genuinely appalled.

"He was my first everything." You admitted shyly. "I thought he was one of the good ones, like that one boy you waited your whole life for. But obviously I was stupid, and that turned out to be one of the bigger mistakes of my life."

"He's the stupid one, not you." Steve denied.

"When I met you and Bucky, it was a big breath of fresh air. You guys helped me realize that Harvey was bad for me, but at that point I was already convinced he would be the only guy who would ever be stupid enough to fall in love with me. So I stayed way longer than I should've, but in the meantime I felt like I had opened up to you and Bucky far more than I ever had to Harvey. We started training together and talking more, and at that point I felt like I had given you so much more of myself than I had ever given anyone else in my life. Which I know sounds odd, but we were having these really good conversations that made me feel really vulnerable but in a good way, and we had built so much trust and understanding of each other that I never had to question what your intentions were when you were around."

Asshole. Asshole. Asshole. That was the only word Steve could think of at the moment. How he felt, how he treated you, how he made you feel, he was an asshole.

"I'll spare you details, but after Harvey and I officially called it quits obviously I was really fucking sad. I wanted to see you, but you were away on a mission and I just needed to be with a friend so I went to Bucky's place instead. I had all of this new found freedom, paired with this gut wrenching feeling that I was going to be alone and unloved for the rest of my life, and a good friend in front of my face who was just so kind and gentle...things just happened. I wasn't the one to initiate, but I definitely didn't put a stop to it because for once it was really nice to feel wanted. We didn't even kiss or see each other naked, it felt like less of a big deal to me and far less vulnerable or intimate than most of the stunts and challenges I let you guide me through in training. Bucky and I weren't trying to be malicious and we had no bad intentions in our choice to not tell you, I was just afraid that you wouldn't understand and that you'd take it the wrong way. Which, with all due respect, you didn't understand and by the time I even got a chance to try to explain it to you, we were both so angry and defensive that none of the words would come out right."

Working up the courage to look at Steve to gauge any sort of emotional reaction from him, his face was full of remorse as his eyes stayed set on the dog as his hands gently pet his long body and scratched the top of his head.

You took the chance to take a deep breath and let your palm sink into the fluffy park grass, one last ditch effort to ground yourself before the getting into the hardest part of the conversation. "That fear of misunderstanding and miscommunication is exactly why you didn't tell me or Bucky or anyone for that matter that you liked me. And just like how the information about what Bucky and I did got to you in the wrong way at the wrong time, that information got to me in the very wrong way at the very wrong time. And just like you, I didn't understand, and I felt hurt and betrayed because of it."

You watched Steve's cheeks turn red before he hid his face in his hands and let out a groan, earning a little smile from you that he couldn't even see. "Can we just talk about the weather again?"

"Sure thing." You agreed. "I think I lied to you on accident, because now I am kind've cold."

"Wow I'll never forgive you." He joked dryly, mumbling into the palms of his hands.

"That's okay, we can add it to the list of dumb shit we gotta talk through." You giggled. "Well, seems like that covers the weather category again. Are you ready to come out of hiding?"

He peeked one eye out between his fingers. "No. I kind've wish the floor would swallow me whole right now."

"Wow, I didn't think that you had a weak spot, but I found it." You enthused.

Although it was at much too high a cost, seeing a genuine smile on your face for the first time in over a month was like a big breath of fresh air to Steve.

"I'm not covering my ears, I can still hear you perfectly fine. Please continue." He grumbled.

"Just to put you out of your misery and conclude that horrifically long sob story I just subjected you to..." You started. "I was only hurt in that moment because after fooling around with Bucky and getting the information that you liked me sprung on me, it felt like I had lost the only two people in the compound who didn't see me as or treat me like an object of some weird sexual fantasy. Part of me even felt mad and embarrassed at myself for believing that we could've been friends without you guys seeing me that way. Plus, I had all those people in the compound already saying the only reason I was getting so far in my career was because I was sleeping with you, and I so desperately didn't want them to be right. So, all of that being said, I'm sorry too, I should've never been so mean to you. I'm sorry that Bucky and I hurt you, I'm sorry for jumping to conclusions and not letting you explain yourself while accusing you of things you'd never do."

"Like I said earlier, I already forgave you." Steve slowly let his hands fall from his face, cheeks still stained a pretty pink color.

"That doesn't mean you don't deserve an apology." You reminded him. "We both hurt each other, it's not fair for you to take all the blame."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up" Steve took a deep breath.

"Don't do that" you shook your head. "Please don't throw up."

"I hope you know that our friendship has always meant a lot to me, and absolutely none of it was a scheme to sleep with you." Steve braved through the hard part of the conversation he absolutely wished he never had to think about again.

"Yeah, I do now." You reassured him. "I'm sorry I said that."

"I really just didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable." Steve explained. "Especially in an environment where you were already getting eaten alive. Plus I was your boss, and you had Harvey, and I didn't want to ruin our friendship... and, yeah, I dunno. It was just a mess. I didn't tell Bucky because I didn't want him to tell me to tell you. He figured it out on his own, by the way. Apparently my eyes twinkle too much, whatever that means."

"I'm not uncomfortable, and yeah, you do have really twinkly eyes." You grinned.

"I guess that's your fault" Steve jokingly sassed.

"Oh so now we're pointing fingers?" You took fake offense.

"From this point on, I'd really like it if everyone could just ignore the twinkle in my eyes so we can all get back to being friends like we were before." Steve said, giving you a really easy escape to officially denying him.

"But I think the twinkles are so pretty!" You enthused, giggling when you could practically see his heart drop.

"You shouldn't be saying things like that when you know I already feel like throwing up." Steve shook his head and clutched his stomach.

"But I mean it." You confirmed. "Knowing what I know now, why would we ever go back to being how we were before?"

Steve swallowed thickly, then his hands started exaggerated movements to further get his point across. "I'm trying to give you an easy way out of telling me you don't want me back in the same way."

"I understand, but that wouldn't be true." You giggled. "I do remember you stating very clearly that you aren't my boss anymore, am I remembering that correctly?"

"No, technically I'm not you b-" He rambled quietly.

"Do we think this would do anything to harm our sweet little Bucky boy?"

"No. He's been going out with Natasha and has been trying to get me to ask y-"

"You we're so kind as to cut me some deals, so I've got one for you too. Let's take some time to let everything settle and heal over, then when the time is right, we'll explore more of that little twinkle, alright?"

"Okay." Steve nodded wide eyed and enthusiastic.

"Yeah? Are you going to throw up?" You questioned with a smile.

"Maybe only a little bit." He continued nodding.

"I guess that's better than a lot-a-bit" you justified.

"So we're okay?" Steve asked, twinkly eyed and puppy dogged face.

"We're okay." You confirmed. "Can I give you a hug? You look like you really need it."

Steve opened his arms for you, and you both had to awkwardly lean over Rocket who was instantly stayed tucked next to his leg. Embracing him tightly, you realized just how badly you needed it too.

Both unwilling to let go for a little while, you took the time to appreciate his body heat that was a stark difference between the cold air outside.

"I'm sorry." Steve quietly apologized again.

"It's okay. I'm sorry too." You accepted. "I really missed you, Stevie."

"I missed you too, Bug. I've been so worried about you lately." One of his hands was very sweetly rubbing your back.

"Sorry." You sighed. "I've been trying my best."

"I know. That doesn't make me worry any less."

"I love you." You reminded him for the first time in a while.

Steve relaxed and let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding onto. "I love you more."

Although you could've hugged him forever, the two of you mutually unwrapped yourself from each other.

"How is your shoulder?" He questioned remorsefully.

"Oh, it's fine." You told him. "It feels so much better. I've been doing yoga all week and it's held up nicely."

"Good, that's good." He nodded. "And have you put any thought into what you're going to do about your job?"

"Everyone seems to want me to do something different." You sighed. "I've been coming here almost every night just to think about it. It's really nice that the sprinklers don't turn on at 10 pm."

“What do you want to do?"

"I think I know what I want, but I'm really scared of making the jump." You explained.

"I'm not here to talk you in or out of anything, I was just curious." Steve grinned. "You still have the rest of the week to think it through. But just know that I have no doubt in your ability to handle a big scary jump"

"I can usually only handle big scary jumps because most of the time, you're down at the bottom waiting to catch me." You admitted.

"Well regardless of what you choose, I'll still always be here for you." Steve reminded you sweetly. "I just hope you do what you think is best for you, and not what other people want you to do."

“That's the thing, I don't think I know what's good for me."

"Are you kidding me? You have great intuition." Steve said. "Your just need to gain back trust for that little voice in your head that's telling you what to do."

"The same voice that bullies me every day?!" You asked with a giggle. "Absolutely not, she gets no say in any of my choices nowadays."

Steve close lipped smiled at you, his dimples setting deep into his chiseled cheeks. "Then forget you even have a brain and listen to your heart."

"She's also been really problematic recently." You noted. "I don't like her very much right now."

His smile turned into a pout. "That sounds like a very tough thing to not like about yourself."

"Tell me about it." You agreed. "But we're working on it."

"Once again, I guess that's all that matters." Steve noted. "So you can't make a big decision with your heart or your head, and your shoulder is out of the question. We're running low on body parts."

"Maybe I'll let Rocket make the choice for me." You grinned at the sleepy dog.

"I think Rocket should be an Avenger... actually, I think Rocket should come home with me and be my dog instead." Steve smiled, petting the dog once more.

"My parents would hunt you down for sport if you ever took this dog." You giggled. "He's their favorite child."

"But I love him!" Steve pouted like a child. "He's just so fucking cute! Have you seen these ears?!"

"No pets allowed at the compound" You reminded him, nudging his arm. "Maybe that's all the more reason to quit."

“I think that's reason to break the rules, not to quit." Steve corrected.

"Captain America suggesting I break the rules?!" You questioned with a gasp.

"Am I not the same man who's whole career was founded off of breaking the law?" Steve questioned right back. "When have I ever followed the rules?"

"Wow, bad to the bone."

"That sounded sarcastic." He noted as his eyebrow raised in question.

"Me? Sarcastic? Never." You denied.

Rocket readjusted to get more comfortable, but crawled into the hole within Steve's crossed legs and curled up into a little ball in his lap, with his head resting on his thigh.

"Okay that's it." Steve declared, fists balling up to keep himself from unleashing his cuteness aggression on the creature in the form of hugging him so tight his eyes popped out of his head like a stress ball. "I can't take this anymore. How bad would your parents beat me up if I stole this dog? Because really, I think I could take the beating."

"I simply cannot express to you how much taking this dog away from my parents is not an option." You laughed at his question. "I think my Mom would run you over with her car."

"No way she would do that." Steve shook his head. "She was so nice when I met her!"

"She would not be nice if you stole her weenie." You pointed out.

"Come on, she gave me a hug. No mom that's giving out free hugs could ever hit me with a car."

"That's where you're wrong. Because any woman that has so much love for her kids would do anything to seek rightful justice if you did anything to fuck with them." You corrected him. "Even if she's five foot nothing, and you're Captain America. Don't mess with her baby."

“Oh no" Steve's eyes went wide.

"What's wrong?"

"Oh shit." He panicked. "Do your parents hate me?"

"No? Why would they hate you?" You questioned with a nervous laugh.

"Because I accidentally fucked with your Mom's baby and now she's going to do anything to seek rightful justice." Steve clutched the fabric of his sweater right over his chest. "The throw up is coming back."

"I didn't tell them anything about you or Bucky, other than that you didn't let me quit right in the spot." You explained. "They love you and all of the Avengers too much for me to ever ruin their perception of the people who make them feel safe."

"So why do they think you're here?" Steve asked.

"I only told them about Harvey and the general issues I'm having with all of the other agents."

"Your sister knows." He said. "She made a weird comment..."

"She always makes weird comments, that's just what makes Jane, Jane." You smiled. "Yes, she knows, but she likes you a lot. I think she even took your side, she's been advocating for you the whole time."

"She's going to tell your mom, and your mom is going to hunt me for sport."

"No she won't, and even if she does find out about it, she's a very rational person. As long as we're fine, she's fine." You explained. "Look I'll prove it to you, say cheese!"

Quickly taking your phone out of your pocket and pointing the camera at Steve and Rocket, he smiled and you snapped a picture. He watched you type away for a few moments.

You sent the picture in a group chat with your mom and dad, then immediately got a response.

"See! Look! I said, look who came by to hang out with your favorite child." You giggled at your screen, turning it towards him so show that you sent them the picture. "My mom responded and said omg, Dad is honored. We don't know who is cuter, Rocket or Captain Rogers."

"Okay now ask if I can steal the dog." His cheeks turned an even brighter shade of pink.

"I thought the point was to make sure my mom liked you" You laughed, locking your phone and putting it on the grass besides you. "Trust that I'm doing you a favor."

"Fine, but I'm not happy about it." He joked.

"I didn't know you felt so passionately about wieners, Steven." You giggled.

"What can I say? There's nothing better than kicking back and playing with a wiener." He ran with your joke.

"A nice, long wiener."

"This is ridiculous" Steve's face scrunched up, earning more of your adorable laughter.

Like no time had passed, you and Steve sat and chatted away for a few hours. You could tell the comfortable conversation was helping him resolve his own internal guilt, so you were happy to stay and chat for as long as he needed. But selfishly, you missed him more than you ever wanted to admit to yourself.

His adorable smile and pretty pink cheeks lit up a part of your heart that you had felt so disconnected from for so long now. And as the night grew colder, and significantly later, he couldn't just ignore the occasional chills that would make you momentarily shiver. You kept ignoring them and playing them off just to spend more time with your sweet friend, but eventually you ended up tucked underneath his arm and snuggled up to his side for warmth while Rocket stayed glued to his lap.

There was little you could do to ignore how comfortable and familiar it felt to be sharing warmth with the soldier. By all means, both Steve and Bucky were touchy people on a normal day to day basis, plus all of the training you did with Steve made you very comfortable with his skin on yours.

But this was different. His head that nestled on top of yours that rested on his shoulder, his big hand on the top of you arm keeping you close and snug against him, paired the gentle and quiet volume in his voice wasn't just friendly.

His hold was apologetic, and almost regretful. It was reconnecting, and mending. You could feel all of his unspoken words seeping out from his warm body to into your cold one, and you wondered if he could feel the same thing happening to him through your timid hand resting between his shoulder blades.

Just based on his calm breaths, but still racing pulse that you could feel on his neck, you knew it was different for him too.

But it was a good different, a hopeful and very exciting different.

Much like your shivers that you ignored and played off, Steve was trying to mask his yawns. Unfortunately, this was something that you couldn't ignore. Especially when you pressed the button on your phone and the screen informed you that it was already 11:52pm.

"As sad as I am to have to put an end to this, it's already almost midnight and your crazy ass drove an hour and a half here on a motorcycle." You reminded him.

"I just got you back, I don't want to leave you again." He pouted.

"I don't want you to leave either, but I'd prefer if you got home safely." Your timid hand now gently rubbing short stripes on his back. "Or you can stay the night with me here if you'd like."

A sleepy grin overtook the sat pout. "Thank you, but once again I don't want your parents to hate me. Plus I have my stupid annual physical in the morning."

"My parents wouldn't hate you, they'd rather you be safe than drive home tired."

"I'm not that tired, I'll be okay." He reassured you. "And you can't come back to the compound?"

"No, I have to watch Rocket." You reminded him. "But I'll see you in a few days at least. I'll be back before the end of the week."

"Oh, you'll be back?" He raised an eyebrow, challenging your statement.

"To give my official resignation at the very least, or to move all of my stuff into the Avengers sector at the very most. Who's to say what's going to happen?" You giggled.

"Well, when you need help moving let me know. I know a couple guys that can lift a few thousand pounds at a time, it helps the process go by really fast." Steve egged you on.

"Uh huh, I'll keep that in mind." You rolled your eyes with a smile, and wrapped your other arm around his front to squeeze him in a sideways hug. "Thanks for coming all the way here. It was really nice getting to have a conversation with you, I really missed spending time together."

"Of course. Thank you for even giving me the chance to explain myself. If I were you, I don't know of I would be able to be that gracious." He squeezed your shoulder in appreciation.

"There isn't much I wouldn't do for you." You grinned.

"Oh yeah? What wouldn't you do?" Steve questioned with a chuckle.

"I won't let you steal my moms dog." You stated. "Which reminds me, I'm going to need that back."

"Okay, I guess you can have him back. " Steve smiled and picked up the little fur-ball from his lap and placed him on yours instead. "Thanks for letting me play with your wiener."

"Feel free to come back and play with my wiener anytime." You laughed at his joke, unwrapping yourself from him as he started standing up.

"What an incredible offer, thank you" Steve smiled, now standing over you and offering you his hand to help you up.

"Like I said, anytime." You playfully winked.

Quickly putting on Rockets leash, you set the dog on the grass and accepted Steve's hand. He pulled you up effortlessly and bent over to grab your blanket from the grass.

"How far away is your parents house?"  Steve questioned, subconsciously folding the blanket.

"About two blocks" You shrugged.

"Can I walk you guys home?" He asked, eyes twinkling once more as he shoved his hands in his front pockets to keep them warm.

"Absolutely not" You denied.

He was immediately pretending to be offended with a big gasp and hand whipped out of his pocket and over his heart. "Ma'am, it is pitch black out here and it's already midnight."

You laughed at his response. "Sir, it's pitch black and midnight. Your motorcycle is right there. I'm not letting you walk me two blocks in a neighborhood I'm familiar with because that means you'll have to walk another two blocks back here all by yourself somewhere you've never been. Logistically it makes no sense."

Steve puffed and furrowed his eyebrows. "What if some creepy dude comes and tries to mess with you? Huh? Then what?"

"Then I use all my big and scary self defense moves that Captain America taught me." You answered. "Also, do you not see this big scary guard dog? Nobody is going to fuck with me."

His pout deepened. "What if you start walking home and some dude on a motorcycle follows you all the way home?"

"Is that what's going to happen?" You giggled at his question.

"If you keep saying you're not going to let me walk you home then maybe it will." Steve shrugged.

"I've been walking by myself this late every single night for a week now." You told him. "It's always been fine, it'll be fine again."

"Now you're just trying to give me a heart attack." Steve deadpanned, earning your laugh once again.

"So I'm a good enough fighter to be an Avenger, but not good enough to walk to my parents house by myself?" You asked.

"Yes, exactly!" Steve enthused. "So glad we could have this conversation to clear that up, come one let's get you home."

His arm linked around yours and he started walking. "I think you're absolutely out of your mind, but I appreciate you nonetheless."

Looking up at his face just in time, you caught his smile. "The second half of that statement is really the only part that matters to me."

Your steps synched up with his, and Rocket walked ahead of the two of you. "Hey, Stevie?"

"Hmm?"

"If you actually want to get me home, we should be walking in the complete opposite direction" You grinned.

Steve stopped and laughed. "Okay, you lead the way."

You did eventually make it home, and only when you stood on the door step did Steve let your arms disconnect.

"Look we made it here and nobody died!" You enthused. "Do you remember how to get back?"

"Of course I do" Steve giggled at your question. "It wasn't even two full blocks."

"Just making sure" you raised your hands in defense. "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

"I would if I could." His thankful grin showed off the shallow dimples in his cheeks. "See you soon?"

"In a few days" you nodded in confirmation.

He stuck his arms out for one last hug, and you accepted happily. After he let go of you, he bent down to say bye to Rocket.

"Drive save! Text me when you get home." You told him.

Steve's face scrunched up for a second, causing you to look at him in confusion.

"What's wrong?"

"You blocked my phone number" He reminded you with a loud whisper.

"I'll unblock it, but text me when you get home" You giggled.

"Okay great!" Steve smiled big and did a little happy dance. "Goodnight!"

"Goodnight, love you!"

"Love you more!" He waved as he walked down the driveway.

Next Part: Twinkles

Taglist: @sarangheay @firephotogrl74 @selella @talesofadragon @ss28 @nekoannie-chan @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @spikeluv84 @crazyunsexycool @callmissrogers @xxxalicerogersxx @whore-for-chris-evans @em8rin @mulbsstuff @qalijahbydior @awkotaco24 @buckybarnessimpp @nicoline1998enilocin @buckystevelove @rogersbarber @mybuck @dbnightingale24 @ynstark @sincerelytlh @alexakeyloveloki @mrsevans90 @smhnxdiii @claralovescaptainamerica @hisredheadedgoddess28 @bigtreefest

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[forusomimiya]

@jamminlocks ship & prompt: “Kiss me properly” w/ Kiyoomi Sakusa ˚₊˚✧🌱✧˖°😷

Kiyoomi is a rich person, with a very good social and economic status, but not the kind of rich person who is proud and boasts about it, but one who goes unnoticed as such.

He doesn't show others the power he has by coming from a wealthy family, he doesn't show everything he can buy with money, he isn't grateful to people through details to show that he can make people happy, and he doesn't behave in a nicer or more polite way than usual because of who he is or to make himself look good. He doesn't need any of that. As long as he has his loved ones close to him and is loved by them, he doesn't give a damn about anything around him.

That is why, after long family meetings, and long hours where his personality has to change with respect to the people he dinner, which he does not feel any kind of admiration or interest for them, he feels the great need to see you when that happens, thus releasing the tension and returning to being oneself.

Out of the corner of your eye you see the car approaching. You look up from the phone to see that it is the same one Sakusa described to you, a black BMW with tinted rear windows and a small statuette adorning the hood. After typing a couple of times, you put the phone away and get in, but not without greeting the chauffeaur before opening the door.

"Home?"

"Yes, thank you" the gentleman nods and sets off. "How was the trip?"

"Ugh, pretty long. I'm not used to sitting for so many hours."

"That's the thing about living so far away from Osaka. If you lived here with me, it would be different" his voice trails off as he moves closer to your neck, pulling down his mask to kiss it. "I've missed you" you smile and watch as his hand runs down your thigh slowly, searching for a place under your skirt to rest.

"In what way?" you return to his eyes, to his dark, deep black eyes.

"I'll show you later" your gaze flies to the front mirror, where the driver is taking no notice of what's going on back there.

"I missed you too" you give him a kiss on the head and turn back to the window, losing yourself in the people outside on the street and the cars speeding past you.

Suddenly, a mechanical sound makes you turn towards the source of the sound, finding a dark panel coming out from behind the driver and passenger seats, slowly ascending to the ceiling, separating your area from the one in front of you.

“What the h-“

"Don't worry"

"But, that's inappropriate Kiyoomi!"

"Well, it's done. Come here" he got rid of his mask and waited until he saw you next to him and, in a way, you were grateful that he had pushed that button and you had stayed hidden behind that panel.

Yes, his hand traveled to your thigh again, more eagerly than before. As you again provided him access to your neck, you admired the shadow of his figure reflecting inside the car with the light of each street lamp. You gawked at the movement of his fingers squeezing your skin, altering at the same time his breathing on your neck. And you lost yourself when he drew a line with his tongue that reached your ear, manifesting chills that would take a long time to leave, as many more were to come.

"Kiyoomi…" you whispered nervously to not be heard.

"He won't hear us so, you can moan my name if that's what you want" and just with that, he managed to steal one from you. "Yeah... that's how I like it…" your lip wouldn't survive tomorrow if you kept biting it out of anxiety, and your posture didn't show that the last thing you wanted, was to stay strong, when every kiss from Sakusa made you more and more fragile, especially if he got closer to your mouth.

"Kiyo-" his lips took yours, and in a desperate attempt to run his hand down to your panties and make you lose control, he stayed back, getting only, and at least, sweet moans with broken and impossible kisses. That's when the Kiyoomi Sakusa you knew, became as dark as that night. "Kiss me properly" an order that made you surrender and that, defeated and without control, made you take his lips as it was due, without missing shortly after to open your legs for him.

Of that night you would not forget the dominance he exercised over you, and neither would you forget the grunts that, in exchange for giving him his name in a melodious moan and plea as you cum in his bed the way only he wanted, he gave you as a reward for being such a good girl. The scratches, hickeys and the marks of his fingers on your ass would not be forgotten either. And with that, you would reconsider returning to Osaka more often.

#haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu x imagines #sakusa smut #sakusa x female reader #sakusa x you #sakusa x y/n #sakusa x reader #sakusa x reader smut #sakusa kiyoomi x you #sakusa kiyoomi smut #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa kiyoomi x reader smut #hq x reader #hq x reader smut #ship & prompt smut #ship & prompt haikyuu #haikyuu sakusa #haikyuu kiyoomi #kiyoomi sakusa #kiyoomi sakusa smut #kiyoomi sakusa x reader #kiyoomi sakusa x reader smut

[solarmorrigan]

May I request a thrupple for the angst quote prompt?

“Please I just… really need space right now.”

With ChissyxStevexEddie. If not the thrupple then a pair of your choice from those three characters.

Hello! I'm sorry, I didn't quite manage to work Chrissy into this one. Honestly, this particular fill argued with me so much I'm kind of glad I even got Eddie and Steve in there. I hope this is okay, anyway!

[post-S3 Steddie AU; CW: Deals with the aftermath of torture, heavily discusses non-consensual touching (not inherently sexual, not between Eddie and Steve), contains the theme of trying to help someone through trauma. This is very soft, though, I promise]

Angsty-ish Prompt List

-

The Steve Harrington who comes home to Eddie from the hospital on the fifth of July is not the same one who had kissed him goodbye before his shift at that shitty ice cream parlor two days prior.

He’s still Eddie’s Steve, of course he is, but he’s also – he’s withdrawn, and he’s jumpy, and he’s so, so hurt.

Eddie had seen the aftermath of that fight with Hargrove (who hadn’t? Though Eddie had even had the privilege of watching the last of the bruises fade from up close as he and Steve became friends), but this is worse. Eddie can’t articulate how at first, but it is.

At least back in November, Steve had been able to talk about how he’d gotten his injuries; this time, he has to hide behind some fucked up cover story – because bull-fucking-shit had he gotten hurt by falling debris in a freak mall fire.

Debris hadn’t left marks like fucking boot prints on Steve’s back and chest. It hadn’t bruised and rubbed his wrists red and raw. It hadn’t left the distinct shape of fingers in purple and blue, wrapped around his arms on both sides.

Eddie had tried exactly once to address this, when he’d first seen the extent of the damage hidden under Steve’s shirt. He’d tried to demand answers, tried to get out of Steve who had laid their fucking hands on him, but Steve had gone grey under his bruises and shook his head.

“It was a fire, Eddie. Nothing else. I need you to understand that,” Steve had said, more serious than Eddie had ever heard him, his one good eye wide with urgent anxiety – with something almost like fear. “It was just a fire.”

Eddie hasn’t brought it up again.

It makes him burn to know that someone had done this to Steve and that he can’t do a goddamn thing about it. It makes him want to scream, it makes him want to find whoever had been responsible and make them hurt, but more than anything–

More than anything, it terrifies him.

Because this Steve is different – his Steve is different now, and Eddie doesn’t know what to do.

It scares him to see Steve slinking around the trailer like it isn’t his home (more of a home than his parents’ house has ever been). It scares him when he forgets that Steve’s left is his bad side and that if he comes up on him too fast, he’ll startle the shit out of him. It scares him that Steve has a bad side. It scares him when he reaches for him, unthinkingly going for the contact that Steve has always been so hungry for, has been so comforted by in the past, and instead Steve flinches away.

Eddie has never really had to take care of someone else, and he feels like he’s fucking it up at every turn. He feels like he’s hurting Steve even more, that he’s no better than whoever did this to him, no better than Billy fucking Hargrove, no better than Steve’s parents; he’s afraid he’s going to ruin things, break Steve beyond repair, because he doesn’t know how to care for this new version of him.

The only thing that gives him hope that he isn’t doing too badly is the fact that Steve is staying. He still wants to be in Eddie’s company, still reaches out sometimes and tentatively slides his hand over Eddie’s while they’re watching TV together, still shares Eddie’s bed at night. He’s been stubbornly insisting that he’s fine, he’s fine, he just needs time to heal, but beyond a refusal to admit that anything is wrong, he still trusts Eddie to help when he’s not at his best.

Of course, no matter what he says, Steve isn’t actually fine, and even if that weren’t made apparent just by looking at him, it becomes abundantly clear when the lights go out and they lie down to sleep – when the nightmares hit.

Sometimes, they’re small things: quickened breath and inaudible murmuring, furrowed brows that eventually smooth out as Steve is released back into deeper, more peaceful sleep.

Sometimes, though, they’re loud and sharp and violent.

Sometimes, like tonight.

Steve is half twisted in the sheets, struggling in a way his broken ribs really can’t afford, arms flailing and jerking as he tries to fight something off, as he mutters no and stop and please. Eddie sort of wants to cry, thinking about what could be making Steve beg, but more than anything he wants to wake Steve up.

He shakes him by the shoulder, dodging the jerk of his arm, and hopes he can call louder than whatever’s going on in Steve’s head.

“Steve. Steve, c’mon, wake up,” Eddie shakes Steve again and Steve jerks away with a wounded noise. “It’s just a nightmare, baby, come on. Steve!”

Steve’s eyes snap open with a sharp gasp, like he’s been holding his breath, but his gaze is still hazy. He’s awake, but he isn’t present, and he immediately starts shoving at Eddie’s hands, trying to scoot away on the bed.

“No, no, get off– get off me!” he shouts, managing to make it as far as the edge of the bed before the tangle of the sheets holds him in place.

“Steve it’s– it’s just me, it’s Eddie, it was a nightmare, you’re–” as reassuring as Eddie is trying to be, he can’t help the distressed crack in his voice. “Baby, you’re safe, I fucking swear.”

Finally, Steve stops struggling. He lies against the mattress for a moment, breathing heavily, before he ventures a small, “Eddie?”

“Yeah, sweetheart, I’m right here,” Eddie promises.

He shuffles closer on his knees, reaching out for Steve, hoping to comfort or soothe or ground or something, but Steve flinches away, tossing up an arm to halt Eddie in his tracks with a quickly barked, “No.”

“Steve,” Eddie breathes out, and he doesn’t mean to sound so fucking broken, but he should be the one person Steve is never afraid of, and he’s fucking that up.

“I… Please, I just…” Steve stutters out, still catching his breath, trying to sit himself up against the wall that the head of the bed is pressed to, “…really need space right now. Just– just leave me alone for a while.”

And all at once, even if Eddie knows nothing else, he knows that isn’t right.

“I don’t think you should be alone right now, sweetheart.”

Steve, now propped up against the wall, lets his head hang with a heavy sigh. “Eddie…”

“No, look, I’m not–” Eddie scrambles off the bed and moves across the small room, until he’s got his back to the opposite wall. “I’m not gonna touch you, I’ll stay over here, you don’t even have to look at me, but I’m not going to leave you by yourself.”

Steve had never wanted to be left alone when things were bad before. When he was alone, his anxiety would consume him; without the anchor of another person, it would carry him away, and Eddie is certain the same thing will happen now if he leaves Steve to deal with the aftermath of his nightmare in solitude.

For a long moment, Steve stares at him, eyes wide and wet with unshed tears in the low light of the bedroom, but he eventually looks away again. He says nothing, just curling in on himself in a way that must be hell on his ribs as he leans back against the wall, and Eddie takes that as the best permission he’s going to get.

He slides down the wall and sits on the floor, his knees pulled up in front of him in a loose mirror of Steve’s position. He doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak, but he’s there, and he has to believe that’s worth something.

It startles him when, some thirty minutes in (probably the longest Eddie’s ever been able to sit in silence without something to occupy him), Steve speaks.

“I can still feel their hands on me.”

His voice is a quiet rasp, but the words hit Eddie like hailstones. He wants to ask who, he wants to demand what, but he knows if he says anything now, Steve will clam up, so Eddie keeps his mouth shut, and he waits.

“Even before they– before they started hitting me.” Steve isn’t looking at Eddie, instead addressing the wall, gaze distant and unblinking. “They grabbed me and… searched me, cuffed me, they kept – putting their hands on my face, grabbing my hair, and I couldn’t…”

Couldn’t stop them.

Eddie feels a little sick.

Steve is quiet for so long after that that Eddie begins to wonder if he should say something, but Steve breaks the silence before he has to figure out what.

“Out of everything, I don’t know why that… why that left the biggest impression, but I–” he breaks off, turning and finally looking at Eddie. “I want to feel you again, but any time someone touches me, I can only see them.”

Eddie doesn’t think he’s going to survive this. His heart is going to fucking break.

He needs to do something, he needs to help, and maybe he has no clue what he’s doing, but this is his Steve, and he has to try.

Slowly, Eddie levers himself up off the floor and moves towards the door, where he hits the switch for the overhead lights, making the entire room go bright.

Steve winces at the sudden change, turning a wary look on Eddie as he approaches the bed.

“Eddie, what…”

“Just– just trust me. Let me try,” Eddie says, soft and earnest, holding Steve’s gaze as he sits on the edge of the bed. “Please?”

It takes a long moment, but Steve gives a hesitant nod, and Eddie scoots closer. He leaves space between them, still, but he gets close enough that he could reach out and take Steve’s hands – which is exactly what he intends to do.

“Look at me,” Eddie says, quiet and firm. “Just look at me, nowhere else.”

Steve does as he’s told, and Eddie manages a smirk.

“Just pretend I’m the most interesting thing in the room,” he tries to tease. “Like there’s nothing else you’d ever wanna look at.”

“Don’t have to pretend,” Steve murmurs, eyes locked on Eddie’s face, and Eddie’s smile melts into something more genuine.

“There you are,” he says softly.

He reaches for Steve’s hands, and slowly, Steve unwraps them from where he’s been clutching firm around his legs, and lets Eddie touch him.

His hands are cold in spite of the summer heat that invades the trailer no matter how hard their crappy little air conditioner works, and they’re trembling slightly, but Steve doesn’t pull back. He stares right at Eddie and holds on.

Eddie brings one hand up, cradled in his own, and presses a gentle kiss to the knuckles. The bruises there have already faded (their presence had been the least distressing out of all the damage; Eddie likes knowing that Steve had at least gotten a few hits in), but he attends carefully to each knuckle, anyway. He kisses the back of Steve’s hand, feeling a little like a courtly lord from one of his own campaigns. Steve is starting to look at him like he might be one.

The bruises around Steve’s wrists are taking longer to heal; the damage is deeper, and the colors still paint livid rainbow circles on his skin (his face is going to take longer, still; Steve says the doctor told him he’d lucked out with a minor fracture to his orbital bone that will heal on its own with time. Eddie looks at the discoloration there and feels like he has some choice words for the doctor). Eddie moves his attention up, brushing his lips featherlight across the top of Steve’s wrist before turning his hand over and paying the same devotion to the underside.

“Eddie…” Steve breathes, and Eddie presses one last kiss to the palm of Steve’s hand.

“It’s me,” Eddie promises, bringing Steve’s other hand up now. “Watch me, sweetheart, it’s just me.”

He keeps eye contact as he lavishes Steve’s left hand with the same attention he’d given the right, and it occurs to him that he’s been inside the boy in front of him, but this is somehow the most intimate thing they’ve ever done.

Eddie doesn’t move beyond Steve’s wrists, doesn’t push any more than he already has, and Steve’s eyes are still on him by the time he finishes, wide and soft and glassy.

“Okay?” Eddie asks softly, dropping his hands to hold both of Steve’s in his lap.

Slowly, Steve nods. He looks away at last, turning his eyes to their joined hands, and tightens his fingers until he’s holding onto Eddie properly.

They sit like that for a long time, quiet and close, until Eddie can feel himself flagging and he can see Steve’s eyelids drooping.

“Let’s try to get some more sleep,” Eddie says around a stifled yawn. “You do need your beauty rest, after all.”

Steve laughs, a little huff of a thing, and casts a quick glance up at Eddie. “Can– can we leave the light on?” He rushes the words out, like he hates to even ask, but Eddie only nods.

“Whatever you need, Steve,” he promises – and he means it.

Maybe he has no idea what the fuck he’s doing, but he’s not going anywhere until he figures it out.

And when Steve settles down beside him in bed, and scooches just close enough that their arms are pressed together, Eddie figures maybe he’s not doing too badly, after all.

#steddie #eddie munson #steve harrington #eddiesteve #stranger things #solar wrote #answers from solar #anonymous

[faithshouseofchaos]

Shoulder to cry on— Daniel Ricciardo x Platonic reader

Tagged— @ashy-kit @astraeaworld @alwayzbeenale @a-casual-romantic @67-angelofthelordme-67 @badassturtle13 @bblouifford @bbtoni @barcelonaloverf1life @charlesf1leclerc @crashingwavesofeuphoria @dark-night-sky-99 @dudenhaaa27 @f1ln4dr3cl16mv33 @faithm120701 @ironcowboycopnickel @lollypop90907 @laura-naruto-fan1998 @ladymarvel27 @moss-on-tmblr @natailiatulls07 @norrisleclercf1 @vivwritesfics @lightdragonrayne @hrts4scarr @hollie911 @vellicora @venusisnothere @toasttt11 @purplephantomwolf

Anxiety is an ugly thing that seals up on you when you least expect it: the pounding of the heart, the cold clammy hands, the pain in your chest, the shortness of breath and the uncontrollable urge to cry. Anxiety came with the job every one either loved you or hated you that came with being a female F1 driver and it sucked. No one really paid attention to you except for Daniel who knew and saw the signs of your anxiety. Daniel was like an older brother to you he always knew how to help

The urge to cry only grew as Daniel sat next to you, a hand resting on your shoulder. He didn't say a word, just sat with you and that's all you needed.

Eventually it passed the tightness, the pain, the feeling that this was the end. Daniel was still there, his arm draped around you.

“It’s okay you can cry you know” Daniel says

Tears stream down your face as the anxiety eases up.

You are so grateful that Daniel is there because a panic attack is an awful thing to go through alone.

He holds you tightly and doesn't let go he's always happy and cheery but when it comes to situations like these he knows what to do as you finally begin to calm down.

He lets you rest your head on his shoulder and strokes your hair gently. You feel a wave of calm wash over you and you breathe deeply.

Daniel takes out an old handkerchief from his pocket, wipes your tears and holds you tightly.

He whispers comforting words in your ear as you cling onto him for dear life.

His voice is like a balm and soothes the anxious storm in you.

"I'm really glad I could be here for you. No one should go through a panic attack alone it really sucks" Daniel replies honestly

He knows a bit about what a panic attack is like to go through.

He gently rubs your hand

"I'm here if you need me"

"Thank you Daniel" you reply

The panic attack had been a particularly bad one. It wasn't your first and you didn't know if it would be your last.

You wrap your arms around him tightly

"I won't forget this thanks for being my shoulder to cry on"

"No worries mate I'm happy to help" he replies

He strokes your hair and continues whispering to you

"There's no need to thank me I'd do it for anyone in a heartbeat, I hate seeing people like this"

"If you don't mind, can we just sit like this for a while... I feel really safe like this" you reply softly

Being inDaniels arms makes you feel safe and warm.

You press your head onto him as you feel a wave of calm ease your racing heartbeat and he continues stroking your hair in soothing circles letting you relax.

"Of course"

Daniel replies

You stay in that position, the comforting embrace of Daniel making you feel like everything is going to be okay. You press your head into his shoulder, your eyes slowly closing as you let yourself relax into his arms.

A:n— my anxiety is going through the roof right now and I don’t know what triggered it

#daniel ricciardo one shot #daniel ricciardo fic #daniel ricciardo x reader #red bull daniel #daniel ricciardo f1 #daniel ricciardo icons #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo fanfic #daniel riccardo imagine #daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo x y/n #daniel ricciardo x female reader #daniel ricciardo x you #formula one x you #formula one x reader #formula one imagine #formula one au

[spdrvyn]

anxiety & arachnids — MIGUEL O'HARA

(( this is going to be a lengthier one than my usual one-shots / snippets / fics / whatever you wanna call them since it has more plot !!! what is the plot? read the fic and find out motherfucker !!!!!! this is also mostly spoiler-free as per usual i think ))

The intensity of your job, the late-nights to the point where you've had to stay back at the precinct, and your overbearing coworkers really wanted you to find a way to travel back in time to prevent yourself from enrolling into police academy.

Were you the best detective out there? God, no. Definitely not. Though even if you weren't, you'd like to think that you excelled most of your acquaintances and fellow investigators in your job. Although among the long web of cases that you have solved over the years, there was a particular file that haunted your desk.

To most, large files were someone's nightmare. So overwhelming and rife with information but that was what you and other detectives just loved about them, you barely even had to lift a finger at times to catch perps or criminals because the file did most of the work for you.

However, the one that you'd been trying to crack for months was only one page thick, the only recent addition being a small sticky note that adds a witness's testimony of events.

You didn't have much of a problem with Spider-Man, you understood that he was just trying to do his job and save lives whatnot even if his methods were rather precarious—

But to find out that there are multiple Spider-People out there? The idea gave you migraines by just thinking about it.

Even for how many that might be lurking in the shadows, waiting for trouble to strike so that they could swoop in and save the day, this file only gave you less than a fraction of what you needed.

At least, you had one picture but it was low in quality. Captured by a civilian's cellphone, one of the older models judging from the camera, they were trying to get away from the commotion as well resulting the subject in the photograph to appear blurred.

Under closer inspection though, you could make out some details but you definitely knew that this wasn't your Spider-Man. Whoever it was, they were wearing a navy suit highlighted with red. A muscular build, blades sticking out of their suit. There was also a big circle behind them; a dizzying array of colors, which was safe to assume that it was a portal.

Spider-People, odd creatures, possible other-worldy travel.

Was this really what you had signed up for?

You curse under your breath, bringing your half-empty cup of coffee to the edge of your lips before it's quickly taken from your grasp. You're prepared to lecture whoever even dared to lay a hand on your drink before you realize that your captain is the one with the mug in their hands, whatever unholy grail of swear words you were about to unleash was now silenced.

Your captain let out a defeated utterance of your name, "Working until you die again?" They stare disappointedly into your mug. "Is the coffee supposed to speed up the process?"

With a harsh bite to your tongue, you fight back the urge to roll your eyes. It's not like they were as pesky as the people you've come to known over the years of working in this place, far from it but their demands for "self-care" and "work-life balance" made your head spin a lot more times than you'd like to admit.

"Go home. I don't mean to discourage you but why work on this case still? It's so cold that it's practically freezing."

"If nobody is going to work on it then I will."

"Of course, it's good to take responsibility but the only thing that's been added to this file over the last two months is a sticky note. A sticky note. I appreciate your persistence more than anything but above it all, I appreciate self-respect more."

Clueless. You felt so damn clueless, with this situation, with the nonsense advice that your captain was giving you. All you could do is look back at down at the folder, staring at it with such an intensity, secretly hoping that an entirely new page would appear.

The dismay that emanated from their sigh practically pierced you straight through your heart.

"It's clear to me now. I hope it's clear to you soon that working yourself to the bone over something like this isn't what we do. Get yourself together and get some rest."

The click-clack of their dress shoes drove you to near madness as you heard them leave the precinct. Maybe rest was what you needed, not like you had much of a choice anyway as the morning shift was about to come in soon.

You pack your bag, slinging it over your shoulder. It would probably be better to take the stairs at least to get rid of the energy you got from drinking an ungodly amount of caffeine tonight.

Speaking of caffeine, that was possibly the only edible item that you've consumed during your whole shift. Starving yourself was a habit that you were guilty of, getting so wrapped up in your work that even eating slipped your mind.

However let it not be said that you were picky, you opted to just pass by a fast food restaurant on the way back to your apartment.

It was the dead of night once you actually got your hands on some food, originally you were going to take it back to your apartment but the growling in your stomach told you that dinner was more of an urgent matter in the more.

You open the small box, taking the burger you ordered in your hands and about to take one juicy, delicious bite until—

"Incoming!"

Your delicious meal interrupted as someone was slammed through the windows of the establishment; gasps echoed the walls of the place as people didn't even hesitate to bring their phones out. All the employees run into the backroom.

Instinct just kicks in as you reach for the badge attached to your belt, as you attempt to reassure the innocent customers who were probably having just as much of a tiring night as you are.

You're about to approach the person that was slumped against the counter of the cashier until you register the robotic tentacles sticking out of a machine stuck to their back. Immediately, you pull your gun out.

This was all so confusing, you were so sure that your colleagues had arrested Doctor Octopus so many moons ago. Yet, why was he laying before you? He looked so different. Did he break out of prison and get a magic makeover or something?

Your heart rate skyrocketed through the roof as you catch a faint glow of red from the corner of your eye.

Without hesitation, you turn around and point to the figure behind you; who looked like they were about to continue whatever shenanigans they were engaging with Doc Octopus before stopping dead in their tracks at the sight of your weapon.

"Freeze! Don't move an inch,"

As the figure freezes, you are finally able to get a good glimpse at them. The suit matches the one you saw in your case file, it's never really processed in your head how tall they might actually be. This Spider-Man could easily tower over you, perhaps pointing a gun at him wasn't really the best choice.

That idea was really hammered into your skull as the Spider-Man 'raises an eyebrow' (at least, signalled by his mask) and looks up slowly, you've nearly forgotten that there's a real criminal right behind you.

Your gun is snatched immediately out of your hands as you turn your head once more, it's effortlessly crushed under the grasp of one of the Doctor's tentacles. They scowl at you through tinted goggles.

Shit.

Akin to the way that they were thrown into the eatery, your back harshly hit the area where they deep fry their food. The small basket tips over and spills hot oil onto the floor, the impact spits some of the substance onto your face and hands causing you to wince in pain.

Thankfully before you're about to lose your face, as one of the tentacles reach for you, your hand reaches for the same basket and smacks it hard. Some of the oil melts the coating of the robotic appendage.

You take a peek from below the counter and the people that you saw a while ago had disappeared, they all ran away. You wanted to die, there went your witnesses...

The Doctor yelps at the damage done to it's attachments, about to send yet another attack to your disheveled body, it's cut off (quite literally) by the slice of a blade.

The Spider-Man that you familiarized yourself with a while ago had sliced it off completely only angering the enemy further.

You want to help, even if you won't be able to catch whoever this guy is, there was a bigger threat right now.

Unfortunately as you try to stand, your legs give up on you from how brutally you were thrown and you fall back onto your behind once more. Though you weren't completely rendered useless, you attempt to crawl to the back. Telling one of the staff to call the authorities but once you got a glimpse, there was nobody there either. Were you the only one with any form of responsibility here?!

You reach for your own cellphone, only to find it unable to function from— once again— the impact of how you were thrown. Perfect. This was perfect.

It got even more perfect as the Doctor practically came in sliding into the back walls of the building, you panic and quickly move backwards until you realize that they're wrapped in some form of webbing.

The Spider-Man breezes past you, holding down the seemingly now unconscious criminal. Your ragged breath hitches as his gaze meets yours, you were defenseless. Besides some kitchen items that were littered across the floor from the scuffle but none of them could prove useful to you.

Your head was actually spinning now, you brought a fist to your forehead in a sad attempt to quaell the throbbing but no use. Your eyes begun getting droopier and droopier.

Your heart spiked more as a portal opened to the left of you, came in swinging in another Spiderman.

He seemed to be wearing a worn-down jacket and a regular spider suit but replace the pants with sweatpants. He had an empty baby carrier strapped to his chest.

"You're late."

"Fashionably so! Now, where is he?"

"Right here."

The one in navy kicks the body over to the more musty looking Spider-Man, he takes a step back. "Are you kidding me?! You dealt with him already? I put Mayday down for a nap like ten minutes later than I'm supposed to and you just—"

The less well-dressed Spider-Man catches sight of you, eyes as wide as saucers as he points. "Who's that?"

"Detective."

Not even two seconds later, he's kneeled down before you. Holding, only God knows how many fingers up, their whole conversation is going one ear out the other with you.

"Seems like they have a concussion and a couple of burns. Did anyone call an ambulance or somethin'?"

"No, they got chased out like squirrels by the anomaly."

"You know that we should probably deal with them, right?"

"What exactly do you mean by that?"

You can't even care enough to listen in to their interaction anymore, your head falls forward. The aching in your ribs, the stinging on your hands, it's too much to bare as you slip into the hold of unconsciousness.

#miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #peter b. parker #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #spiderman: across the spiderverse #across the spiderverse #spiderverse #atsv #spiderman #lmao get cliffhanged ONCE AGAIN

[cherrycola27]

Red, White, and Rooster

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Frenemies to lovers, relationship of convenience. Political situations. Allegations of affairs, military and political inaccuracies. Eventual smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

...........................................

Chapter 4: A Wedding of Presidential Proportions

You couldn't sleep when you got back to the White House. You were pacing the floor of your room, trying to fabricate a believable love story for you and Bradley.

You would say that you'd gotten close during his campaign, and he proposed the night he was elected. That would explain why he risked his life for you after the last debate and why you held the Bible and danced with him at the inauguration. That would be believable.

You also had to think of a wedding date. It would need to be soon. Now that the people knew, they would push for a wedding. You settled on October. That would give you two months to figure this out.

You'd have to tell your parents tomorrow because you knew they would have questions, but you couldn't tell them the truth.

You were furiously trying to write notes down when you realized you should probably check on Bradley. It was almost two in the morning. You hoped he was still awake.

You grabbed your robe and note cards before sneaking down the hallway. You knocked once on his door before it flew open.

"You can't sleep either?" He asked you. "No. But I've been productive. You say as you enter his room.

You spend the next twenty minutes going over the tale you have spun for the two of you. He sits silently and nods along as you pace back and forth across the carpet of his bedroom.

"So, does it sound believable?" You ask him once you finish. "It does. You've really put a lot of thought into this." He agrees with you.

"Now, for a wedding date, I was thinking October because by the time the story gets out, we will have been 'planning' one for a few months." You tell him.

"Do we really have to get married? I mean, William and Kate dated for ten years before tying the knot." Bradley points out. "Yes, but their engagement was about a year. Trust me, I've thought about dragging it out, but with the digital age we live in, it gives people too long of a chance to find out we are lying." You explain to him.

"Okay, so after we get married, how long until we can get divorced?" He asks you. You stop in your tracks. You hadn't even thought about that.

"Well—" you begin, "If we get divorced in less than two or so years, people are going to be extremely upset. It will look bad on you, and the tabloids will start fabricating stories of infidelity between us, and it would tank your chances at reelection and my chances of ever working again." You continue.

"But, if we get divorced after two years, that would be peak reelection campaign time, and again, people would be angry that their favorite first couple is breaking up and it would give your opponents fuel for a smeer campaign and probably tank your ratings and cause a scandal." You tell him. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks.

"Oh my god." You breathe out. "What?" Bradley asks you as he sits up from his chair.

"The only way to prevent this whole thing from killing both of our careers is to stay together and get divorced after you get reelected or lose the 2028 election. It would be at least four years of marriage. Four years of a lie." You state.

You can feel the heat rising in your chest as the anxiety sets it. You being to pace faster around his room. Your eyes are wide with a far off look in them.

"Oh my god, we can't do this. We can't commit to this for FOUR YEARS Bradley. What was I thinking when I said that? I'll tell you what—I wasn't thinking. I didn't want the media to brand me as someone who slept her way to the top, but now I've sentenced both of us to a life of scrutiny in the public eye!" You shout at him.

"We can't do this. I was wrong about everything I said. I didn't have a plan, I wasn't thinking I just did, and now I've screwed everything up." Your voice starts to tremble. Your chest tightens, making it harder for you to breathe. You can feel the tears welling up in your eyes.

Bradley can see the cracks in your armor starting to break. The facade that you wear so well is slipping. His heart breaks when he sees the first tears slip down your cheeks. He's never seen you cry before. Come to think of it, he's never seen you as anything other than put together. He's shocked to see you like this. Emotional, vulnerable, raw.

"Where's my phone? I have to call Jaycee. I have to have her publish a story saying that I was lying and that we aren't a couple." You choke out. Your hands are trembling as you try to unlock your phone, but it's no use. The device falls from your fingers and crashes to the carpet.

That's all that it takes for you to fall to your knees and sob. Rooster immediately jumps from his seat and pulls you close to him. You're babbling about how you're sorry to him and about how you can save his career by tanking your own.

It's killing him inside to see you like this. To know that he's the reason you're having a panic attack at three in the morning. He doesn't know how to respond. Normally, you're the one picking up the pieces for him. So he does the only thing his can think to do. He sinks down on the floor next to you and pulls you close to him. He tucks you under his chin and rubs your back to soothe you.

"Y/N. Y/N—please, take a breath. Look at me." Bradley tells you softly. He takes your chin and gently directs it to meet his eyes.

"Let's take a couple of deep breaths together. Come on, breathe with me. Breathe in—and breathe out." He directs you. He repeats this several more times until your breathing is back under control, and you aren't crying anymore.

"Okay, let's talk through this slowly. We have two options. We can get married, spend the four years together, and then get a quick and amicable divorce after the election. If we do that, we both have a good chance of being able to continue our political careers, right?" He looks to you for your approval. You nod your head.

"Or, you commit political suicide by saying what? You made up the whole thing because you didn't want the media slandering you?" He asks. "It seems like they would slander you even more if you said we lied." He tells you.

"I can tell them that I can onto you, I was harassing you. Trying to blackmail you or something. If I did that, it would save your image. I could never work in politics again, though. I'd have to leave D.C." You stutter out, the anxiety still not fully gone from your body.

The thought of you leaving made Bradley sick to his stomach. He couldn't let you give up your dream for him.

"No." He says. "I won't let you do that. I can't let you do that. I wouldn't be in this position of power if it wasn't for you. I can't do this without you. I need you." He tells you earnestly.

"We are already friends. We can do this. We'd only have to pretend for the cameras and in the public eye. Behind closed doors, it doesn't matter. We can fake it til we make it." He laughs.

"You sure?" You ask him. "Positive." He confirms. You nod your head and smile at him. He helps you up. You take a deep breath and feel some relief.

You pause for a beat, and Bradley can see the exact moment you put your mask back on. Gone is the vulnerability you'd just shared with him, and back was the bravado he'd seen you wear so well.

"You know you'll have to make sure any hookup you bring here signs and NDA, right?" You ask him.

"Come again?" He blurts out with a look of confusion. The sudden change in your demeanor has his head spinning.

"Look, Bradley, even if we have to be married for a bit, I don't expect you to be celibate the entire time. You won't be the first president to have a mistress, but you'll be the first with permission. You snicker at the last part.

"I mean I'll do the same." You reassure him.

Bradley is too stunned to speak. The idea of either of you having a lover made his heart ache. He couldn't stomach the thought of another man touching you or getting to see the side of you that you kept closed off from him.

"Yeah, I understand." He hesitated. The silence around the two of you was uncomfortable.

"Right. So, I'm going to call a jeweler in the morning so we can pick out a ring and make sure you memorize these cards." You tell him as you hand him some flash cards, breaking the tension.

"I have the ring covered." Bradley tells you. "What?" You ask him. Unsure if you heard him correctly. "I have the ring covered. I'll memorize the cards. For now, we both need to get some sleep." He rubs your arms in a reassuring way.

"Okay. You're right. Goodnight, Bradley." You tell him as you leave his room. "Goodnight, Mrs. Bradshaw" He calls down the hallway after you. You roll your eyes and try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach.

The next day around lunch, Jake storms into your room. "Wise-woman! Girl, what the fuck?!" He asks you.

"Jake, I don't have time for this. I was in a life or death situation. It was either fake engagement or political ruin. I did what I had to do." You explain to him. "I know, I know. Rooster already gave me the same speech. So you're really going to do this interview. Get married and all that jazz?" Jake asks as he comes to sit with you.

He flops down on the couch in your sitting room while absent-mindedly tossing a baseball in the air.

"Yeah, it's not ideal, but it keeps all of us employed. Well, let me rephrase that. It keeps you and Bradley employed. Meanwhile, I get to be paraded around as a piece of arm candy, and the only thing people are going to care about is what time wearing." You sigh.

"You know there are way worse things than being the First Lady of the United States. You think that no one is going to care about what you have to say, but Bradley will. He values your opinion more than any of his advisors. And you could have a serious social impact. Doesn't every First Lady have a platform that she focuses on during her time? Think of the change you could make. The good you could do in the world." Jake tells you. You hadn't really thought about it that way.

"Plus, do you know how many women in America would gladly take your place? I do, because I've seen the tweets and the tiktoks. Marrying Bradley isn't the prison sentence you're making it out to be." Jake finishes his pep talk to you before silently tossing his ball some more.

You sit there, taking in his words and processing them.

Neither of you is sure what to say until Jake speaks again. "So, on another note, your friend at the Post who's interviewing you—is she single by chance?" Jake asks you.

You laugh at his comment. Of course, he would ask you about Jaycee when you're having a crisis moment.

"Jake! You're such an asshole!" You laugh as you throw a pillow from the couch at him.

"Knock knock." Bradley comes in. "And that's my cue to go." Jake says as he gets up to leave.

Bradley comes and sits down next to you. He puts a small box on the table in front of you. "Go on. Open it." He tells you.

You open it, and your breath catches in your throat. Inside is the most beautiful ring you've ever seen. It's an oval cut diamond, easily five karats or better. It's flanked by two pear cut amethysts and set on a silver band.

"Bradley how—" you ask him. "Called in a favor." He tells you. You stare at it a moment before he takes it out of the box and slips it on your hand. "Size eight. Just like you said." He smiles at you. "Oval because of the Oval Office, right?" You joke with him. "Exactly." He breathes out.

"So, are you ready for this interview?" You ask him. "If I'm being honest, no. But I know that just like everything else, we can get through it together." Bradley kisses your cheek and pats your leg before getting up to leave. The skin where his lips touched buzzes with a familiar feeling that you're desperately trying to push back down.

Thanks to your careful planning, you made it through the interview with Jaycee. By the time you and Bradley arrived back to the White House, you were trending on social media, and #Wiseshaw was going viral. You had succeeded in pacifying the nation for a while.

Now, the real challenge began: planning a wedding.

..................

"Does it really matter so much about the flowers!" You groaned into the sofa cushion. The wedding was a week away, and instead, if sitting in on interviews for who was going to take over your position once you became the First Lady, you were with Jake and Jaycee picking out center pieces.

You had hated all of the aspects of planning the wedding. You hated them because over the past two months, you'd found yourself unable to deny the fact that you had feelings for Bradley. He truly was the man of your dreams, but the only reason you were able to have him was because of a lie.

Magazines, news outlets, and social media called you the perfect political power couple. The people ate up the engagement shoot you'd released, and the buzz of your upcoming nuptials was all anyone could talk about. People were rabid wondering what your dress was going to look like, who would be on the guest list, and most importantly, people wondered how long it would be until the two of you had children.

Of course, there was speculation that you were already pregnant due to how fast you were getting married from the time you announced your engagement. If only the people knew that your husband would never touch you like that.

You were broken from your thoughts by Jake.

"Yes, it really does matter, Wise- woman. You and the president are getting married. This is the closest thing America is ever going to get to a royal wedding." You looked at Jaycee and rolled your eyes because you knew Jake was right. This would be the first time a president had gotten married in office in over a hundred years. In the minds of many, this was a royal wedding. The two of you were the American Will and Kate.

"Jakey is just trying to be helpful as the best man and all." Jaycee tells you as she gets up to wrap her arms around him.

"If you two could keep it in your pants while I'm here, I would appreciate it." You tell them. You shuttered at the memory of finding out they were seeing each other. You had gone to Jake's office to ask him to sign off on some things, and instead, you found him and Jaycee, using his desk for purposes that it was not intended for.

"Oh c'mon, don't be such a grumpy gills. You'll be getting your taste of a man in power soon enough." Jaycee laughs.

"No, I will not. This marriage is a business arrangement. I'm not going to sleep with Bradley. I'm not even going to move out of my room." You tell them. You get up to leave as Jake and Jaycee shoot each other a knowing look.

.......................

Saturday comes quicker than you expected. All morning, people are fussing over you and helping you get ready. Jaycee is doing her best to keep you calm. You aren't nervous because you are getting married. You're nervous because your life is about to change.

You wonder if Bradley has the same knots in his stomach or if he is calm and collected.

The funny thing is, as he's getting ready, Bradley wonders the same thing about you.

He's paced around his room about five hundred times since he woke up this morning. You had no clue that Jake and Bradley's godfather Maverick had been trying to keep him calm.

He knows it's just about time, and his hands shake as he tries to tie his bow tie. You always make it look so easy. He growls in frustration before Maverick takes over. "The last time I saw a Bradshaw, this nervous was when Goose was getting ready to marry your mom. He was awful with ties, too." Maverick smiles at him, trying ease the tension. "They'd be so proud of you, kid." Maverick smiles as he smooths out Bradley's collar.

Soon, the wedding coordinator is coming to get them. It was time.

The wedding is to be held in the Rose Garden with a reception to follow in the banquet room of the White House. Everything is perfect. The chairs, the flowers, the table settings, the center pieces, the decor. All of it is fit for a wedding of presidential proportions. You'd spent two months going over seating charts, menu options, and cake flavors. Every time you asked Bradley what he wanted, he always responded with, "Whatever you want dear." You roll your eyes at the memory. Of course, he would be better in a fake relationship than any of your previous real ones.

As you put the finishing touches on your makeup, the thought of running crosses your mind.

You don't have time to ponder it though. It's almost show time. Your mother and Jaycee help you into your dress. It's a soft taffeta ball gown with ruching on the bodice. Its sleeves are slightly off the shoulder, and it has a jeweled belt at the waist. You could describe your dress best as "a modern take on Jackie Kennedy." Your mother helped you secure your cathedral length veil in your hair. She brushed a few stray hairs from your face before making sure your oval pendant was centered on your neck. Jaycee handed you your bouquet of lavender roses before grabbing the train of your dress and veil to help you out of your room.

Your father smiled when he saw you. Both of your parents were so proud of you. Their daughter was about to be the First Lady.

You took a deep breath as you walked out of french doors to the top of the staircase.

Your heart felt like it was about to beat out of your chest as your feet carried you down the steps. It felt like you were in autopilot.

The violin quartet began to play "august" as Maverick walked down the aisle, holding framed photos of his parents before sitting them in two reserved seats. Jake followed him with your mother before coming back. Several of his former Navy friends escorted your bridesmaids down the aisle. Then, Jaycee and Jake made their way down the aisle. As the song looped, you could help think about the irony of it all. The man that you were about to marry would never be yours, not really.

Soon, it was your turn. You smiled as you heard the first bars of "Wildest Dreams" start to play. If it was one thing Bradley knew about you, it was how much you loved Taylor Swift. It only seemed fitting that he would pick two of her songs for your wedding.

Damn him and his ability to give you butterflies. It wasn't fair.

Everything moved in slow motion. The walk down the stair case and down the aisle felt like the longest ten minutes of your life. You did your best to look the part of the perfect blushing bride, but it was so hard.

Looking out at the perfectly place chairs with their perfectly draped cloth covers and perfectly tied lavender bows made you feel sick.

The sight of the wooden pergola draped in in greens and tulle made your knees weak. The meticulous rolled out white cloth that was covered in dainty lavender flower petals for the aisle had the bile in your stomach rising to your throat.

Everything was so perfect. Or at least it would have been if this was real. Your father could feel you tense up as you reached the bottom of the stair case and turned to stand at the end of the aisle. He patted your hand to comfort you. Everyone rose up from their seats, and for the first time, you allowed yourself to look up and look at Bradley. He was standing at the top of the aisle beaming at you. Suddenly, all of the anxiety you were feeling melted away. A genuine smile crossed your face as you began to almost float towards him.

You watched him brush a few stray tears from his eyes.

Your eyes stayed trained on Bradley the whole time. If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was actually in love with you.

"You look beautiful." He whispered to you as you joined him at the altar. "Your tie's crooked." You whisper back. "Sorry, I didn't have help." He chuckled before the officiant asked everyone to be seated.

The ceremony goes by in a flash. You and Bradley exchanged vows and rings. And soon you heard the officiant say, "Mr. President, you may kiss your bride."

You lean forward to press a polite kiss to Bradley's lips, but in an unexpected turn of events, he sweeps you into his arms and dips you before kissing you. Everyone erupts in applause. The officiant speaks once more. "Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to present to you, for the first time, President and Mrs. Bradley Bradshaw!"

Bradley grabs your hand as Jaycee hands you your bouquet before you walk back down the aisle under a sea of flower petals.

During the entire reception, Bradley doesn't leave your side as the two of you mingle. You have your first dance as husband and wife to a slowed down version of "I've Had The Time of My Laugh. You grin at his nod to the first time you danced with him. After you finish, its time to cut the cake. You enjoyed smashing some of it in his face more than you should have. Your smile never leaves your face. You can't believe how easy it is to pretend to be in love with him.

But that's all it is, pretend. You've signed yourself up to continue this charade with him for the next four years.

After the reception, you change into a white lace tea length dress. You and Bradley board Air Force one. You have three days for a private honeymoon. Bradley releases his duties to Jake for the time being before you leave.

Soon, you're touching down somewhere tropical.

You're exhausted by the time you make it there.

The two of you get settled into your bungalow. All you want to do is change and get some sleep.

"Can you unzip me? I want to take a shower. There's two bathrooms here if you want to shower too." You inform Bradley. He's happy to help. He unzips your dress. He sees the white lace of the bra and panties you are wearing.

"Thanks." You tell him before trapsing off to a shower.

Bradley groans and adjusts himself before heading off to the other bathroom. God, his right hand is going to be tired after this trip.

After an hour in the bathroom, you finally come out. You find Bradley sitting in a chair watching TV.

"You aren't in bed yet?" You question him.

"I wasn't sure which side you slept on, and I didn't want to assume." He says as he gets up and gestures to the huge bed in the middle of the room.

"Oh, it doesn't matter. I'm not sleeping in here." You laugh. He looks at you confused before you go to the other side of the room and on unlatch a door he hadn't noticed before.

"Did you really think I wouldn't plan a head to make sure we had two rooms?" You ask him.

"I—I shouldn't have doubted your abilities." He tells you, with a hint of sadness in his voice.

"It's fine. Look, we've had a long day. We'll talk more in the morning." You smile and kiss his cheek before walking into your room. "Goodnight, Mr. President." You call to him.

"Goodnight, Mrs. Bradshaw." He calls back.

He hears the sound of the lock on the door clicking. He sighs before dropping back into the armchair. He runs his fingers through his hair before taking a look at the silver band that now adorns his finger. He twists it a few times and sighs.

How was he going to get through the next four years of this?

Little did he know that just on the other side of the door, you were dying inside too.

A special shoutout to @thedroneranger for beta reading this chapter and listening to my rambles!

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