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buckyalpine · 11 months

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Peter’s Hamster

Crack fic alert: Imagine Bucky with a pet he never wanted. He’s around the compound more cause he’s taking a break from missions for a while. In the meantime, Peter brought a hamster from the pet store and Tony is not having any of it.

“No”

“C’mon Mr. Stark, you won’t even notice him-

“I can smell him from the lab”

“I’ll invent something to stop the smell”

“Aren’t pets expensive”

“Aren’t you a billionaire?”

“Shut up Romanoff”

“He was like 2 bucks!”

Peter manages to squirrel his way into keeping his newest friend but there’s still the matter of who would care for him when everyone else as away on missions. Anyway, Bucky made it clear he would have no part in hamster sitting. Not one bit. If everyone was away then the hamster would have to fend for himself.

Like today. It had already been a few days since the collective team had left leaving Bucky in perfect solitude with his worn copy of the hobbit and his secret guilty pleasure; peanut butter cups. No one would ever EVER see the former winter soldiers suck off the chocolate left on the wrapper, licking his lips like a cat after every bit between flipping pages.

It was perfect.

Except.

Bucky could hear the sound of the squeaky wheel of the hamster going at full speed, the high pitched squeals piercing through the air.

“For fucks sake, can’t you keep it down” he grumbled before pausing and closing his eyes. “…I’m talking to a hamster”

….

“who can’t hear me”

Eventually the rustling and scurrying gets to him so he reluctantly goes over to Peters room to see what the 3 gram rodent is up to. He notices the pellet bowl is empty and water has almost run dry, though the little fur ball didn’t seem to care just yet, more concerned about cleaning and pawing at his face.

“If you had more than half a brain cell you would’ve escaped and fed yourself” Bucky scoffed, ready to turn on his heel but the tiny beady eyes that look at him make him stop.

“Pathetic” he mumbled before finding the bag of food under a pile of Peter’s clothes “no more wonder he bought a hamster, he lives like one”

The hamster nudges against him when he refills his bowl, using it as an opportunity to escape by climbing up his arm and sitting on his shoulder.

“Seriously”

The small light brown puffball stayed there while Bucky scoffed, plucking him off and plopping him back in, narrowing his eyes at it.

“This was a one time thing. Figure it out”

Is what he said and fully intended on standing by but the squeaky wheels and rustling get to him. At one point, he swears it’s on purpose as the hamsters way of getting his attention for a food refill.

So he takes matters into his own hands

“If you won’t feed yourself, I’ll teach you”

So the late night sessions begin. Rigorous circuits for the thing that was smaller than his palm, learning how to scale the cake, click the lock open and nibble its way into the pellets.

“I’m training a hamster”

Bucky caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror, a few stray pieces of woodchips dusting his clothes while the hamster (who he now called PB....based on an interesting choice...) completed another around in less than 0 seconds.

“I’m training a fucking hamster”

“Good Job PB” Bucky petted his head with one finger, stopping when he was about to comment on his ability to climb the cage,

“And still talking to it”

Imagine the absolute confusion the team feels when they get back to find random clear tubes running along the walls, each connecting to a different room, most tubes leading to the snack cupboards and counter tops.

The walk into the living room and no one breathes a word, too entranced by the sight of a very focused Bucky and Peter’s hamster, perched on the super soldier. He sits on Bucky's shoulder, remnants of sunflower seeds left over on the coffee table while Bucky nibbles on a peanut butter cup.

“What the fuck”

Bucky turned around to find everyone staring at him with a variety of expressions from shock to amusement to utter confusion. At this point, Bucky couldn’t not care less, shrugging before holding up a seed to his shoulder so PB could grab it in his tiny hands.

“Which episode now, PB” “Who the fuck is PB”

Bucky pointed to the furball while scrolling through Netflix, avoiding any animal documentaries, not wanting to traumatize his new tiny friend.

“You named him PB?”

“Yup”

“Based off of what” Tony cocked and eyebrow while Bucky snorted, feeding him another sunflower seed.

“We’ll, I originally called him Parker’s balls”

Imagine after this Bucky has PB trained to wreck havoc and steal things he likes from just about anywhere. Peter gets absolute shit from Tony because 1 Bucky was enough chaos and now its Bucky plus this tiny demon.

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michelleleewise · 1 year

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Purr....

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Warnings: none.....Mischief, backfired spells, shenanigans and alot of purrs.....

Summary: you come back from a mission excited to see your boyfriend.....unaware something happened......

Inspired by THIS lovely anon........

You walked off the quintet sighing. You'd been gone two months and all you wanted was a shower and your Loki. You hadn't even been able to talk to him since where you were sent had no service and you missed him more then you would like to admit, so as soon as your feet hit the helipad you were off to find him.

You walked into the common room, looking around not seeing anyone throwing your bag down when a black cat ran up to you rubbing himself on your legs purring. You kneeled down scratching behind his ears hearing the purrs grow louder. "Hey little guy, who do you belong to?" You asked as it pushed its head into your hands. "He would belong to you y/n." You heard, looking up seeing Thor. "Oh..did Loki get him?" You asked, seeing the cat turn and hiss at Thor. "You could say that." He said laughing.

You got up walking into the kitchen seeing Thor grab a mug from the cabinet. "So where is Mischief anyway? I thought he'd be here when I landed." You said as the cat jumped on the counter purring rubbing his face across yours. "Well you see, Loki was practicing a new spell and..." he trailed off as the car sauntered over knocking his mug off the counter, shattering on the floor. "I don't think he likes you very much." You laughed seeing Thor sigh. "Yes well, I would expect nothing less." He said grabbing the broom. You watched him clean the glass up as the cat continued to purr and rub his face on yours, pressing his forehead to yours. "Ok really, where is Loki?" You asked.

"He is currently in the kitchen y/n." Thor said grabbing another mug. You looked around seeing the kitchen all but empty "umm...are you alright thor?" You asked. "That little furry beast Y/n! That is Loki." He snapped as the cat hissed at him. "His spell backfired and now..." he trailed off pointing at the cat. You took a minute to look at the cat, seeing it's large green eyes, the softness of its fur, the way it hissed at Thor "Oh my God! When did this happen?" You asked looking at Thor "Oh, about two weeks ago." He said shrugging. "Can he change back?" You asked when the cat began purring again. "Not on his own no, it has to wear off, good news is it should be any day now." He said smiling as he walked out if the kitchen "Welcome back y/n." He called back.

You sat staring at Loki as he purred, his tail flicking back and forth. "Loki....what am I going to do with you." You asked when he meow'd, putting his paw on your cheek. "You know I was really looking forward to cuddles too." You sighed, feeling him press his head to your forehead hearing him purr again. "Well, shower and bed I guess." You said. standing up you walked to the common room grabbing your bag, loki following right behind you as you headed to your shared room. You watched him jump on the bed as you threw your bag down grabbing a towel.

You stepped out of the shower feeling your muscles relax. Wrapping your towel around yourself you walked out seeing Loki sprawled on the bed, tail twitching as he watched you. "Don't be weird Loki." You said laughing when he meow'd. You walked into the closet, slipping your shorts and tank top on walking back out. "I'm really gonna cuddle a cat." You smiled seeing him roll over on his back. You pulled the blankets back laying down "well, come on." You said as he walked up by the pillow, laying down in front of you. You covered him and you up laying down looking at him. "Your lucky I love you." You said as his eyes shot to yours.

You scratched his ear when he nudged your nose with his "Your tickling me." You laughed hearing him purr. "Go to sleep sir." You said sternly closing your eyes. You felt him tuck his head under your chin, pressing himself to your chest continuing to purr. "Goodnight Loki." You breathed wrapping an arm around him drifting off to sleep. You weren't sure how long you were asleep when you felt something nudge against your cheek "lokiiii, go to sleep." You murmured reaching up to scratch his head. You felt him kiss your cheek making you open your eyes, you stopped scratching when your eyes met his beautiful green ones. "C..could you....keep doing that?" He asked gently kissing you. You laughed, snuggling into him scratching his scalp hearing him moan. "Love you darling." He purred, pressing his forehead to yours "love you, my lokitty." You smiled, drifting back to sleep.

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @sinsandguilt @high-functioning-lokipath @mochie85 @slytherclaw1227 @jaidenhawke @budugu @xorpsbane @schizonephilim @lokidokieokie @holdmytesseract @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokixryss @asgardianprincess1050 @tallseaweed @aniar4wniak @sekaishell @lokispetblogs @loopsisloops @trojanaurora @lonadane @all-envy-suyu @yelkmelk @stupidthoughtsinwriting @123forgottherest @silverfire475 @goblingirlsarah @commanding-officer @glitterylokislut @kkdvkyya @cueloki @daggers-and-mischief @sititran @witchyblue @verycollectivecreator @nixymarvelkins @chantsdemarins @shinraski @usagishira @nightshadelm @filthyhiddles @dukes2581 @assemblingavenger @lulubelle814 @irishhappiness @wolfsmom1 @luvlady-writes @lovingchoices14 @thomase1

💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚🐈‍⬛💚

LONG LIVE THE PURR!!!!!!!!🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛🐈‍⬛

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louwaffles · 1 year

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Y/N: So, I have this really cool idea--

Bucky: No.

Y/N: You haven’t even heard the first part.

Bucky: For the love of--

Sam: It’s a really cool idea, James--

Bucky: I swear to the god of Thunder--

Thor: Yes?

Y/N, Sam, Bucky:

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writing-house-of-m · 1 year

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Bend & Snap

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: Fluff, Crack

Warnings: A few sexually suggestive scenes, nothing graphic

Word count: 3,065

Summary: Your date night with Wanda gets interrupted in the strangest way

A/N: This was a collaborative effort between @speciallysapphic , @therunawaykind and myself for a challenge set by @vancityfire13 . I thought it was fun and wanted to share. I hope you all enjoy reading 🙂

It had been a while since you and Wanda got a chance to spend some time together. So you agreed to a quiet date night in.

Sitting in front of the TV you were nearing the end of the movie you had picked out, dirty dishes placed on the small coffee table in front of the two of you as you snuggled on the sofa. It was your turn to choose a movie this time.

You both agreed that you would take turns choosing the movies you would watch on nights like this. Wanda always opted for classic movies you hadn't seen, while you picked 'iconic' movies Wanda would have missed because of her time through the war.

The night started with taking advantage of the empty compound, spending time cooking your dinner. Music filled the air as you danced around the kitchen together between cutting up vegetables and following Wanda's instructions.

You went along as best you could but not wanting to ruin your meal, you opted to follow her around like a puppy, completing little tasks you could see needed doing.

Throughout the movie Wanda tried to keep making moves to go further than cuddling. You stopped her wandering hands each time telling her to 'watch this part, it's funny' or ‘it’s coming to a good bit'.

She always found it endearing how you wanted to share the joy of watching movies together. It was one of the things she loved about you.

Now that the credits were about to roll Wanda seized the opportunity to pounce on you. She straddled your hips and began to desperately kiss you.

When air was needed she rested her forehead against yours, inhaling then letting out a breath, "I thought the movie was never going to end."

You furrow your eyebrows as you pull your head back to ask, "You didn't like it?"

Looking at your expression she can't help but find your pout cute, "I did like it, it was funny and definitely iconic," she answers.

Your face brightens but she continues as her hands move from around your neck down your body, "I just had something else on my mind," she says, biting her bottom lip and placing her hands under your shirt.

With your lips attached again, you waste no time in lifting her slightly to lay her on her back on the sofa and get comfortable on top of her.

Before you can even think about removing her shirt you hear the loud, excited voices of a few people approaching the seating area you were in.

You recognise the voices belonging to Steve and Thor. Even though you don’t hear them you know Scott and Vision will also be present because they were assigned on the same mission.

Feeling annoyed is an understatement because you really didn't think anyone would be back today. Before you get caught like a couple of school kids, the two of you sit up, fix your hair and clothes so you are presentable for your oncoming intruders.

As they enter the vicinity Scott notices the clutter of dishes and the movie credits rolling. The other men and the android turn their attention to you too once they are made aware of your presence when he asks, “You guys had a party without us?” His face, slightly sad.

But the question adds to your annoyance because intruding was one thing but him not realising he had walked in on your date was another. “Yeah, Scott. We had a party. Just the two of us.” You smile sarcastically at the man putting his helmet down on one of the empty sofas.

When he realises your tone he squints his eyes at you, “You know, it’s not your words that hurt, it’s the way you say them,” he says as if he is wounded. You roll your eyes and sit more comfortably, wrapping an arm around your girlfriend.

The ‘wounded’ man, getting over it quickly, asks, "What were you watching?"

Wanda leans into your embrace, "Legally Blonde," she replies for you, to avoid any cynical answers.

Scott's face lights up, "Oh, I love that movie. You really couldn't have waited for us to come back?"

You roll your eyes again and are about to say something but Steve is quicker, “Yeah, a relaxing movie would be nice after the 48 hours we just had," he states, joining the conversation.

Thor gets everyone's heads turning toward him as he walks closer to where the five of you are, beer in hand, “It was a long 48 hours indeed, but we were victorious in the end,” he smiles, proudly.

It’s silent for a moment before Scott speaks again, disregarding Thor’s comment and moving his gaze to Steve, "There's nothing relaxing about Elle Woods trying to get into Harvard, defying stereotypes, getting the man of her dreams back. On top of that she deals with sexism and her self-worth."

Thor, still with a bright smile on his face, says, "Ah yes, there is nothing more important than a woman getting the education she deserves."

To which Steve chuckles along with Wanda. You notice Vision standing on the side, looking like he is trying to compute the plot of the movie.

Scott, once again disregards Thor’s comment and continues, "It has so many iconic moments; 'What? Like it's hard?',” he quotes putting his hand on his hip as he pops it out for emphasis. "And using her hair care knowledge to her advantage! Who knew the girl would get caught because she got her hair done!"

Wanda giggles at the ant man’s enthusiasm while you sit there impassively watching him, still feeling a little irritated. You can’t help but wonder if you can sneak the two of you out while Scott has the attention of the room.

Your plan is foiled when Natasha, Sam, Bucky and Tony enter, the attention moving to them momentarily as they walk closer.

It really is a party now.

Nat raises an eyebrow assessing the crowd in the area, she smirks when she sees your displeased expression. You had already spoken to her about the fact you were finally going to get some alone time with Wanda - it was clear your time was cut short.

Everyone moves their heads in the direction of Scott as he gasps loudly, "The 'Bend and Snap'!” He exclaims, “How could I forget about the 'Bend and Snap'?!"

Steve, Thor, Vision and Bucky look at him confused, as Nat looks in your direction, “Legally Blonde?” She asks so you nod your head with Wanda nodding along, thinking the question was for her.

The new patrons to the room take seats in various places, when Vision questions, “The Bend and Snap?" You hear Sam laugh at the serious demeanour Vision has.

Nat stands with her arms crossed and everyone else listens from their seats as Scott explains, it's how Elle Woods gets a man's attention. Taking a couple of steps away from the couch he shows them how it's done.

Taking out a small disc from his pocket, he cautions everyone that it is safe. But from the look on the faces no one was worried to begin with.

The group have always been in agreement that Scott was the least worrying hero, the only reason he is on the team is because enemies don’t see him as much of a threat and that gives him the advantage to blindside them.

He’s about to start explaining when you all hear a commotion coming from the direction of the hanger. A moment later you all see the members of the Guardians of the Galaxy enter.

You let out an annoyed sigh watching them stampede their way to you greeting their comrades.

The red headed spy laughs at your exasperation, you can't help but wonder why everyone has chosen today of all days to show up.

When Peter asks what’s going on, he’s shushed and told to take a seat as they all sit and stand around joining the teaching moment.

When everyone is settled down, Scott continues, “First you need an item, it can be anything at all. You drop it,” he shows the item in his hand and drops it exaggeratedly, “Oh,” he giggles putting a hand to his mouth, his voice an octave higher, “Oops,” he smiles shyly, keeping up the act.

Returning to his normal voice, “Then you bend and reach for the item, like so,” he hinges forward at the waist, simultaneously sliding his hand down his leg, explaining the movement draws attention to the length of your legs.

“The whole point is to take your time, to keep the watcher on edge,” he wiggles his eyebrows and says this is the ‘bend’ portion of the manoeuvre.

“Once you have the item in hand, you quickly,” as he grabs the metallic disc he springs up positioning either hand to the sides of his chest, framing it while arching his back. Explaining this is the ‘snap’.

There is a round of applause mixed with some laughs as Scott bows to his audience.

Thor’s mouth hangs open slightly, intrigued and can't help asking, "So… if I do this it will get the attention of a woman."

Sam and Tony laugh together, “It will definitely get some attention!” Sam exclaims.

You join in with Wanda’s laughter, unable to get over how ridiculous this all has gotten.

Thor and Peter step forward to Scott with a few questions, wanting to go through the actions with him.

“I’ll need a volunteer to show you one more time,” he looks around and sees Captain America looking hesitant to ask so he does it for him. "What about you Cap? You wanna give it a shot?"

Steve glances over to the seats and sees Bucky looking over. He smiles and blushes but says he'll try, purposely moving to angle himself right so that the Winter Soldier will get a clear view of America's ass as he 'bends'.

Scott goes through the moves step by step using the American icon as a test dummy with Bucky’s eyes never leaving his figure. When he bends forward, Scott places a hand on Steve's back to get him to bend over a little more, much to Bucky’s satisfaction.

Steve’s movements are stiff but he manages to get through it getting a pat on the back from Thor as he tries to make eye contact with Bucky when he’s standing straight again.

Everyone else is too busy conversing or watching Thor’s attempts on the side to see the hungry eyes of the Winter Soldier, making you want to throw up. All those times Bucky has called Steve ‘Captain’ coming to the forefront of your mind.

You choke on nothing when Bucky signals toward the elevator as he stands to leave, while everyone is distracted Steve follows his path.

Wanda makes sure you are okay by rubbing your back. When your coughing stops, “It’s so nice seeing everyone together, it would be better if the rest were here too,” she says, which you can't help but smile at.

These people have become her family, it was one of the first things she confided in you. As if by magic Wanda gets her wish when you feel a gush of wind fly past you. Pietro stops next to Nat and shouts across the room adding to the chaos and noise, “I told you, even with a five minute head start I’d still win!”

You turn your head, you see, Yelena, Kate, Kamala, Peter (Parker) and America enter with Bruce trailing in just after them.

Thor’s boisterous laugh has you looking at the original group that ruined your night. Scott congratulates him for getting it correct and complimenting his arms being bigger than Steve’s. Thor is beaming, "I can't wait to try this on Jane, she will be so impressed."

Vision steps past Peter (Quill), who is showing Gamora the move, speaking quietly to Scott while looking sheepish. You swear you see him blush when he makes eye contact with Pietro, not realising the action was possible for the literal machine. He stutters his question asking Scott if he could help him next.

Nat told you he had a thing for Wanda’s twin but you didn't believe it. It really was a ‘you have to see it to believe it’ kind of thing.

Vision thinks he is quiet but everyone hears the final words come out of his mouth, “I just don’t think it’s appropriate in front of my daddies.”

A sheet of quiet takes over the room that feels like it lasts forever, jaws hanging open trying to fathom what they have just heard. Sam laughs first with the rest soon following.

They realise what Vision meant so fingers are pointed at Tony, Bruce and Thor with howling laughter taking over the room.

While Tony and Bruce want to sink into the floor Thor smiles not really understanding the joke. With Vision in the same boat he looks around not really caring and looking back to Scott with quizzical eyes.

You hear Mantis whisper beside you, “How many daddies does he have?” Making you feel bile creep up your throat again.

Before Scott can answer the android, Pietro cuts in and tells him he would show him himself but in a private setting, flirtatiously.

First you had to witness Bucky and Steve’s bedroom eyes. Now this, the world really was against you today.

Nat smiles as she sees her wife walk in and make her way to her. They greet each other with a kiss and she catches Maria up with what has been going on. She scoffs at the absurdity of it all and confirms they will have dinner in a few hours.

Their attention gets turned to Sam who asks if Nat will be a judge on who can do the ‘Bend and Snap’ the best. Scott takes offence saying he was right there, wanting to be the one to do the judging.

Wanda realises you have been quiet for a bit too long, “Hey, should we continue our date in our room?” She says lowly to you.

“You don’t want to stick around a little longer while everyone is here?” You reply with your own question.

“I think this whole thing has been enough for a little while,” she laughs, making you smile.

She takes your hand as she leads you away, the loud noise of the contest being sorted getting quieter the further you walk away.

You get in the elevator and are making your way up when it comes to an abrupt stop as the building shakes.

There’s a loud sound from something followed by the alarms going off.

The muffled sounds of Scott trying to defend himself, “I thought it was a shrinking disc!” Make their way through the walls of your location.

Sighing, you ask Friday what happened, “It looks like a sofa has been supersized and crashed through several walls.”

“So, how long are we stuck here?” Wanda asks for you. The only reply you get from the automated voice is that help will be on its way as soon as possible. Wanda doesn't want to risk using her powers in case something comes crashing down on the two of you.

It doesn't take long for you to get freed. You make your way back to the seating area due to the fact the oversized sofa is partly in your room.

You can’t believe your eyes. In the fifteen minutes you spent trapped in the elevator they have managed to set up a makeshift catwalk complete with a judging table, scoring cards and everyone has an assigned number stuck to their backs.

Noticing Steve and Bucky, you realise the early leavers from before have returned to take part in this little competition too.

When you make it to Nat and Scott at the judging section they explain one of his discs hit the sofa as they were trying to move it out of the way. “We still need one more judge, unless you want to compete,” Natasha quips.

You’re about to reply saying there was no way you were going to entertain the idea of you doing the ‘bend and snap’ but Wanda answers first, “I wouldn’t mind walking down a runway for you to judge me,” she smiles at you, biting her lip.

You smirk at her, “I think I already know the score I’m going to give you,” you give her a peck on the cheek. “You still have to work for it though, I can’t have anyone thinking I have a favorite,” you lower your voice to a whisper just for her to hear.

The competition starts when Nat announces contestant number one can begin and of course it is a loud fiasco.

With music blaring, it goes exactly how you would have expected something like this to go.

America and Kamala fall over their own feet in their collaborative effort, the two Peters decide to team up (two Peters are better than one they said) and have a wardrobe malfunction when webs attach themselves to Starlords pants pulling them down, Kate pushing Yelena forward to not do anything at the end of the runway but give her sister the middle finger when she catches her sister laughing at her.

Tony even managed to get Pepper to walk down with him as she awkwardly stood to the side while he picked up his glasses from the ground. Shaking his butt in her direction just to see her blush.

Drax, thinking it was a talent show, moves as slow as possible showing he can be invisible.

What’s even crazier is that Vision completing the action snaps the wrong thing because he short circuits and gets stuck. Pietro has to take him to Tony’s lab with Tony following behind him to get the android fixed.

When Wanda inevitably wins everyone has something to say about it. “An infinite amount of points isn’t fair!” You hear a variation of this same statement from a few contestants and you only have one reply, “Maybe you should find your own judge to sleep with,” you laugh heartily at your own joke.

Even though the night didn’t go as you hoped, you still had a pretty good time.

You are especially happy with the way Wanda was smiling and enjoying herself.

#wanda maximoff #wanda x reader #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x y/n #wanda maximoff x you #wanda maximoff fluff #steve rogers x bucky barnes #stucky #pietro maximoff x vision #pietro x vision #avengers x reader #avengers x y/n #avengers x you #mcu reader insert #self insert fanfiction #crack!fic #marvel crack!fic #fic #bend and snap tag

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late-to-the-party-81 · 11 months

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Because it's Eurovision! Okay..?

AN: I wanted to write this last year, but didn’t, and then the enablers in the BBE server forced encouraged me. So enjoy this cracky Avengers Tower fic, where nobody dies and everyone lives happily ever after.

Un-beta’d

Dividers by @firefly-graphics and moodboard by me

Masterlist

Relationship: - None - Just good old team bonding.

Word Count: 1k

CW: Eurovision spoilers, American confusion, Domestic Avengers

“Oki doki, kiddos - what’s so important we’ve brought forward movie night to…” Tony looked at his watch. “... 3 o’clock in the afternoon?”

He looked around the lounge in confusion as Nat, Wanda and Bucky rearranged all the sofas, cushions and beanbags. Flag bunting hung from the ceiling, and the small kitchenette counter was laden with various snacks.

“It’s Eurovision, Tony.” Nat’s tone of voice suggested that that explained it all.

It did not.

“Euro-what now?”

Wanda came up beside him and started to steer him towards one of the seats.

“Just sit down, Stark. It’s about to start. Now where are the others?”

She looked around, auburn hair flying, but relaxed as Clint walked in, a grin on his face, followed by Bruce, Steve, and Sam. Wanda looked around them and smiled as Vision floated through the wall and towards her.

Clint bounded forward, launching himself over the back of the sofa and bouncing down next to Tony.

“Boy, are you in for a treat! This is going to be epic.” He grinned, completely unfazed by the blank looks from the other men.

Sam settled on one of the other couches after a stern glare from Bucky, Steve joining him.

“Umm, could you possibly explain further?”

“If you will allow me…” The dulcet tones of FRIDAY echoed through the room as Nat and Bucky continued to shift and shuffle things around their confused team mates. “The Eurovision Song Contest is an annual event held in mid May every year, where the countries across the European continent all submit a musical act singing an original song. There are two semi-finals and then the final 26 acts star in the Final.”

Steve still looked confused.

“Well, what do the winners get?”

“The winning country gets to host the competition the following year, providing a boost for tourism and culture.”

Bruce settled down on the third couch, somehow having already snagged a bowl of popcorn.

“So the songs are good then?”

Nat snorted derisively.

“Nope. They are camp and cheesy, with ludicrous outfits, smoke machines and lots of pyrotechnics. But that’s the joy of it. And lots of the countries sing in their own language, so you have no idea what the song is actually about.”

Tony’s eyes went wide, nothing any clearer than it was before.

“Then why are we watching?”

As one Nat, Bucky and Wanda turned towards him.

“Because it’s Eurovision.”

“Umm, okay then…” He sunk down into the cushions, not sure it was worth risking the ire of undoubtedly the most dangerous trio in the room. “Can I ask why Thor gets out of this…”

Just then, the building shook, the unmistakable rumbling and light display signifying the bifrost had just hit the roof. “..Scratch that.”

Nat turned on the television and squished in next to Clint. Vision and Wanda snuggled down into the beanbags. Thor burst into the room a few minutes later, placing Mjolnir onto the countertop.

“I haven’t missed it, have I?”

He took the final space next to Bruce, who passed over the bowl of popcorn.

“It’s the flag parade, apparently.”

The blonde god leant forward, arms resting on his knees.

“Ooo. I know this one! That’s Norway. I like them.”

Bruce smiled and elbowed his friend.

“Of course you do, they still treat you like a god.”

Across the room, Steve leant over to Bucky to whisper in his ear.

“Can I ask, if this is a European competition, why are Australia taking part?”

“Because they love how camp it is, and asked if they could join in.”

“I’m going to be confused during this whole thing, aren’t I?”

“Uh-huh…” Bucky threw some M & Ms up in the air, catching them in his mouth.

Back on the central sofa, Nat started to bounce slightly.

“Here we go! Prepare to be amazed…”

For the next 2.5 hrs the team sat, glued to the television, all manner of emotions running through them as they watched the eclectic musical display.

“Am I missing something,” asked Sam. “Why are they singing about Edgar Allen Poe?”

Bucky shrugged. “Why not?”

“Okay..?”

Steve nudged Bucky.

“Buck - what’s she singing?”

“About how her love for her man is driving her crazy, but she doesn’t know if he feels the same.”

“Okay..?”

“My love…”

“Yes, Vis?

“This is an anti-war song, isn’t it?”

“It is, Vis.”

“Okay..?”

“Earth to Sam! Earth to Sam!”

Tony threw a screwed up piece of paper across the room and watched Sam jolt and shake his head as it bounced off.

“What?”

“You seem a bit invested in the Cyprus act there….”

“Fuck off, Tony.”

“Okay..?”

“Nat?”

“Yes, Bruce?”

“I don’t want to be rude, but is there a reason she seems likes she’s dressed like a werewolf?”

“Because it’s Eurovision.”

“Umm…okay..?”

Thor was bouncing in his seat as the Finnish act started.

“This is more like it!”

Bruce peered at the screen, as though the neon pink and green outfits were starting to give him a migraine.

“But…but what’s it about?”

“Going out drinking!”

“Okay..?”

“Errrrm, Buck…What the hell did I just watch?”

Bucky didn’t even turn his head at Steve’s question.

“Croatia.”

That didn’t really help. All Steve knew was that he’d just seen something he couldn’t unsee.

“Okay..?”

The act from the UK finished and Tony stood up, cracking his neck.

“Well, guys. Thanks for that, I think. But now that’s over…”

“Nope!” Nat reached across Clint, who’d fallen asleep between them, slowly drooling on a cushion, to grab hold of Tony’s t-shirt and pull him back down. “Now it’s the half time show while the voting is done, and then it’s the results. And this year, we can vote from outside Europe. Look, there’s an app and everything.”

Tony blinked slowly in disbelief. “When’s it due to finish?”

“About 7pm.”

“What!” At Tony’s shout Clint sat bolt upright, snorted and sucked up a string of drool. “This thing goes on for 4 hours. Like how?”

“BECAUSE IT’S EUROVISION!” Came the chanted reply, this time with Thor joining in.

“Okay..?”

Tony pulled out his phone and opened the app store with a shrug. If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.

“I got $50 on Finland. Who wants in?”

At 7.05pm Tony sat staring at the screen, mouth wide open as the others groaned and started to pass cash towards Bruce.

“What the fuck just happened?”

Bruce smiled and shrugged.

“It’s Eurovision, Tony.”

Tag list: @jobean12-blog @sidepartskinnyjeans @flordeamatista @krissy25 @bodeckersdiamonddoll @goldylions @luxeavenger @wheezy-stucky @doasyoudesireandlive @chemtrails-club @seitmai @peaches1958 @pono-pura-vida @writing-for-marvel

#avengers tower fic #late writes #eurovision fic #domestic avengers #gen fic #marvel crack fic

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marvel-my-most-beloved · 5 months

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ijuststareatstuffhereok89 · 8 months

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“The Avengers Embark on a Brief Escape from Sanity” - a Loki x Reader crack!fic one shot

You, Loki, and the Avengers go to an escape room to pass an afternoon. You all fucking destroy the place, you chaotic sunsuvbishes.

PAIRINGS: Loki x Reader; Bucky x Steve; Author x Skywalker OG WARNINGS: the fuck if I know what my brain’s going to come up with, just know when to duck (brief erection talk and lots of Bucky ass-grabbing Steve) WORD COUNT: 2.4k

This is my 1k follower celebration, where you all dared me to write a fic while stoned, posting it un-edited. All I edited was spelling because my gods I’m not a total schmuck. For the record, at the beginning of this adventure I am about half-a-joint in, and fully intend to be two-in by the time we’re finished here today. They really should make some Marvel-named strains. A Loki OG would probably make me so horny. Like literally, his color is green so why don't we have Loki-Smoki? Anyway, here you go, my readers. Thanks for getting me to 1k! I love you….and I’m sorry. ^_^

“I don't understand,” said a highly-confused Thor as the quinjet touched down on the roof of the mall. “People put themselves in prison for fun here? How strange!”

“For once, I concur with my brother,” said a sullen Loki from the seat on your left. You smiled and slipped a hand over his. His skin always felt supple, cooler than a human’s, but still soft. “It makes no sense.”

“It’s a game!” said Steve, proud to finally be ‘in’ on something before another teammate. “To test our minds and ability to work on a team!”

Stark rolled his eyes and stood up first as the engines stopped. “Yeah, because The Avengers have no fucking idea how teams works…or how prisons work,” he eyed Nat, along with half of the team.

She pouted. “Fuck you.”

You and Loki quickly got up. “I think it’ll be fun,” you said, ever the optimist. “And if nothing else, think of all the attention this small, local business will attract if just one of us takes a picture with them!”

Loki smiled and kissed your forehead. “You’re always seeing the good in everything, even in the face of inevitable imprisonment!”

You rolled your eyes. “Drama queen.”

You may as well have sauntered into the mall in slow motion, you all looked so cool. Everyone recognized you as the heroes of Earth, of course, and you couldn’t get far before the wolves descended, desperate for interaction with their idols. Some of you relished in the attention. Tony was waving and handing out business cards. Thor and Steve were posing with the ladies for selfies while Bucky tried to grab Steve’s ass from behind. Meanwhile, Nat looked like she wanted to go home and punch someone. That left you and Loki in the middle, looking around over the heads of the gathering fans, looking for an exit.

“Are you sure this isn’t the escape room?” Loki asked.

“Over there!” you said, pointing to the left. A large, neon sign flashed “Escape-O-Rama!” from a regrettable distance away. But before you could wrangle the Avengers away from their adoring fans, two beautiful young women flanked Loki, ignoring you completely and shoving you off to the side.

Loki grimaced. “Ladies…I’m not sure you’re aware that you just shoved my--”

“--can we get a picture?” asked one, a fair-skinned lass with lush blonde hair. “Please, Mr. Loki? God, you’re hot!”

You frowned and rolled your eyes, regaining your balance as the second girl shoved her phone into your hand. “Take the picture?”

Without letting your boyfriend get a word in edgewise, the girls threw his hands over their shoulders, giggling like idiots. Loki looked at you, and raised an eyebrow the instant he saw how red your face was getting with anger. “No, I’m not indulging a pair of ingrates!”

They, again, ignored his protestations, leaving you to settle the matter.

“Jesus Christ, we’ll be late for our reservation,” you muttered, growling and chucking the camera at the one girl’s face, hitting her nose, sending her careening to the floor with a grunt of shock.

Loki looked pleasantly amused. You wasted no time in throwing the other girl off of him and hurling her body on top of her pal’s. “You seemed to forget two things, ladies,” you said, shaking a finger at them. “One, I’m an Avenger too, so I can do some cool shit myself. You should’ve wanted me in the picture too, you dirty trailer-park cunts! Two, Loki’s my man meat, so back off, you bald-ass hyenas!”

The girls were stunned, and the other mortals who were busy accosting the rest of the team fell silent, slowly backing away and deciding to resume their business, lest they feel your wrath next.

“Good, now can we go?” you asked sweetly, waiting until the two little bitches were looking at you before shoving your tongue down Loki’s throat for a solid twenty seconds of public access tonsil hockey. Loki loved showing off in public with you, the Kinkmeister.

Thor didn’t like it when you did that in front of him, however, and he quickly cleared his throat. “Let’s…just go imprison ourselves.”

“Thor, I believe the correct term is ‘go fuck ourselves’,” said Tony.

“It’s a ship prison?” asked a skeptical Loki as you were guided back to the escape room by a pimple-faced teenaged employee.

“It’s our newest room,” bragged the kid, his voice cracking worse than Steve’s on the first night he ever saw a stripper. “Escape from the Titanic! Very popular! Very difficult to solve!”

“So it’s a very large prison, a titanic prison,” added Thor.

“It’s named after a real ship,” said Bucky.

“Or the movie,” added Tony.

“You’ll have one hour to find and obtain the key that unlocks the last available lifeboat off the sinking Titanic. If you fail to find the key and leave the ship, you’ll all drown!” the kid recited, trying his best to sound interested.

“This jerk won’t be winning any Oscars,” muttered Tony.

The employee ignored Tony Snark.

“I’ll be available to contact via this telegraph machine,” said the kid, indicating the large contraption by the door. “You’ll have three clues. Just tap any pattern into the telegraph, it’ll buzz me, and I’ll give you a clue. You can also bug out of the room in an emergency by tapping SOS.”

Loki had to almost immediately slap Thor’s curious hand away from the telegraph.

The employee set the clock to exactly one hour and left the room. As soon as he locked the door, an off-key version of My Heart Will Go On began twinkling awkwardly throughout the room, making Nat cringe.

“This is what they did to me in Gitmo” she murmured. “Bastards.”

“So now what?” asked Loki, looking to you for guidance.

“Well the first clue could be anywhere, tucked in a crack in a wall or under a table…look for drawers that could be opened, clues that may be written down in a book or--”

“--here it is!”

Tony raised the key marked “Number One” above his head.

“Um, we didn’t even find the clue yet, asshole,” you grunted. “Slow your roll, ‘kay?”

Tony shrugged and tossed the key on the table. “The clue on the tag says something about poop.”

“The poop deck, usually toward the back of a ship,” recited Steve as Bucky tried to make a reach for Steve’s poop deck.

“Um, how ‘bout that sign?” Tony pointed with his thumb to the sign that literally read “POOP DECK HERE YOU NEED THE KEY” above his head in the doorway.

The clock read 58:26 as everyone piled through the first door…except for you and Loki. You grinned slyly as you closed the door behind the others, keeping the two of you in that first room.

“There’s only one mast I want to raise today,” you said seductively, making Loki purr with pleasure.

“I’d counter you with an equally-witty quip, but I am not on familiar terms with the lingo that mortals use for their ships.”

“Shut up and put your tongue in my face, Loki.”

He did, and it was fucking excellent.

“Um, you do know there are cameras in every room?” came a timid voice from over the loudspeaker.

“Good, it’s free porn for you!” you giggled. Loki put a gentle finger to your lips and ‘shhed’ you in a way that made you want to drop your pants.

“Dignity, dearest,” he said softly. “Let’s wait until we can desecrate Steve’s room again.”

You were about to agree before you were interrupted by the sound of disappointment amid Tony’s wisecracks.

“Got the second key!” he said.

“Oh, come ON!” moaned Steve. The clock was still barely at 55:00.

“We should probably stay with the others. We’re going to be finished before you can even get up all the way,” you said, chuckling.

“That is where you’re wrong, lovely,” he said, taking your hand and putting it on his crotch for just a silent, tantalizing moment.

Yeah, he was harder than the SAT in Latin. Sadly, you wood would have to wait.

As you and Loki caught up with the rest of the team in the second room, Tony was having a hard time getting the key to work. “It’s stuck!”

“It’ll fit, just keep at it,” said Steve. “Jam it in harder if you have to!”

“That’s what you said last night!” giggled Bucky.

“We don't have time for this,” Tony growled.

“We literally have all the time for this,” you replied.

“Stand back! I will take care of this!”

You turned to the far corner of the room, where Thor stood posed with Mjolnir.

“Jesus Christ, why did you bring that in here?!” shrieked Tony.

“I’ll save us!” he hollered proudly, charging the locked door, his hammer poised to strike.

“NO!”“BROTHER, STOP!”“OH MY GAH--!!!”“WHAT THE FUUU---”

You woke up fifteen seconds later, strewn about the rubble, the room itself miraculously still standing in spite of the completely-blown-out inside. Loki was closer to his brother, holding him down while Tony smacked him repeatedly over the head with a chunk of table.

You looked next to you, where Sam Wilson was standing casually. You jumped a little at his seemingly sudden appearance at your side.

“Whoa! Sam, where did you come from?”

Sam frowned and looked at you with moderate disappointment, much how he looked every day. He just meant it today.

“I’ve always been here. All day. I was in the room this whole time and everything.”

The team went awkwardly silent.

Sam looked over at Cap, sadness in his eyes. “Et tu, Steve?”

Biting his lip, Steve said nothing. Bucky put his big metal hand firmly on Steve’s buttcheek, getting another piece of that hot, sweet American pie.

“Man, fuck you all,” said Sam, turning around and walking away with his middle fingers raised.

Later, after being permanently banned from every escape room in the state of New York, the team paid the owner of the Risk E Rat’s Pizza at the other end of the mall to close the place so that they could dine in peace. Nat enjoyed the sounds of pouting kindergarteners as they were told to leave. It harmonized well with the sounds of sirens down the way.

“What? There’s a Ms. Pac Man machine at the barbershop down by the Apple store, you ungrateful fucks!” said the crabby old owner. Nat made a note to get his number later.

Most of you sat around a table eating cheap, stale-crust pizza. Meanwhile, Stark was off showing Bucky how to feel up the Justine the Teen Dream animatronic’s breasts, seeing if it would make him straight again (it wouldn’t).

“So,” said Steve, his futile attempts to masticate his “pizza” failing him, so he just swallowed the gummy dough and moved on. Kiddie pizza is nasty. “So, this is awkward.”

“How are we gonna spin this one, guys? Green Guy wasn’t even with us this time,” said Tony as he and Bucky returned, Bucky looking confused and disoriented as he sat down next to Steve again.

“Fury is going to be…ugh…”

“What is it, dearest?” asked Loki as your train of thought left the station.

You shrugged as your mind struggled. “I had a word in my head but my brain dropped it. Fury is going to be…uh….what a synonym for being really, really angry? Fury will be that.”

You all stared at one another in silence, none of you sure what to say next.

Another minute of quiet.

“Well, what do we do now?”

Loki shrugged and looked directly into the imaginary POV camera your brain is using to picture this story right now as you read these words. “It’s up to the author to finish the story,” he said with a grin.

FUCK.

“...so, don’t just leave us sitting here!” protested Nat. “You’re the one literally putting words in our mouths!”

I’M BLITZED, GUYS. WHAT DO YOU EXPECT?

“Just cut to us getting back to the Tower or something,” said Steve.

I’M NOT THAT CHEAP, STEVE.

“So, what now?” you asked.

WELL, HOW DO YOUR USUAL WRITERS END AN ADVENTURE?

“With a massive all out battle!” Thor jumped onto the table, raising his hammer high.

I’M NOT DOING THAT. MY THAI FOOD’S ALMOST HERE.

“So, again I ask…now what?” you repeated.

The author paused for a moment before typing out her final commands.

OKAY, THOR, GO BACK TO THE ESCAPE ROOM AND APOLOGIZE FOR BLOWING UP THE STORE. THAT WAS RUDE.

Thor dropped his head and pouted. “Okay.” He sauntered off into the mall, toward the sounds of the sirens.

NOW BUCKY, GET YOUR HAND OFF STEVE’S BUTT AND THE TWO OF YOU GO PRETEND TO BE HETEROSEXUAL FOR THE DISNEY-PLUS RELEASE OF THIS EPISODE. WE CAN’T BE SCARING OFF THE SWEET CHINESE GOVERNMENT DOLLARS, NOW.

Bucky whimpered as he took his hand back. Steve winked and kissed his forehead before stepping back and punching him square in the shoulder. “Vaginas, amirite?”

“Hell yeah, vaginas!”

They walked off into the sunset dude-bro punching each others’ shoulders the whole way.

NAT, I KINDA FORGOT WHAT TO DO WITH YOU. SORRY. ERRR…HERE’S FIFTY BUCKS.

A fifty appeared in Nat’s hand. “Cool. I could buy a gun with this!” She walked out.

HEY TONY, CAN YOU NOT BE SUCH A TWATWAFFLE NEXT TIME? I’M RUNNING OUT OF FIC IDEAS THAT INCLUDE YOUR MAIN CHARACTER TRAIT NOT BEING A QUIP MACHINE.

Tony shrugged as he began to make his exit. “Hey, that’s all the MCU’s writers think I am, anyway. I’ll be off doing science somewhere.”

As Tony walked away, everyone left could hear him singing “I’m just a quip machine, and I don't work for nobody but youuuu…”

SO, NOW IT’S JUST YOU TWO.

“Hey,” said Loki cautiously.

“...yep,” you added.

“So, what commands do you have for us?” Loki asked.

I DON’T KNOW…GO HAVE WILD HOT MONKEY SEX SOMEWHERE.

“Okay!” you said cheerily, grabbing Loki’s hand impatiently dragging him toward the exit while he looked at the author with alarmed confusion. “But why do we have to include a monkey--?”

As the pair of you flew out of sight, the author looked around the Word document, and saw that it probably wasn’t all that great…but it was still more coherent than Finnegan’s Wake, so that surely counted for something.

So she closed the laptop.

Taggies for the possibly-innerested: @anukulee @buckyownsmylife @coldnique @chantsdemarins @fictive-sl0th @gigglingtiggerv2 @gruftiela @glitterylokislut @glitchquake @holymultiplefandomsbatman @holdmytesseract @itsybitchylittlewitchy @joyful-enchantress @loopsisloops @lokischambermaid @lokisgoodgirl @meowmeow-motherfucker @muddyorbsblr @mochie85 @mischief2sarawr @peachyjinx @silverfire475 @simplyholl @texmexdarling @trickster-maiden @vbecker10 @wheredafandomat @xorpsbane

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fotibrit · 4 months

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peter parker, after being forgotten, gets a job in an insurance company and suddenly discovers how frustrating it is to live near superhero battles, as far as insurance goes.

From then on, he uses his insider knowledge about the avengers to steer them away from populated cities.

Unfortunately, the avengers seem to think he’s the new supervillain in town, and they’re determined to kick his ass

(Peter just hopes they kick his ass WITHOUT tearing down apartment buildings and disrupting public transport systems)

#marvel mcu #avengers #peter parker #spider man #a crack fic i want to read #fotibrit

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armoured-iron-geek · 2 years

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I will never forget all the others cracking jokes about Thor's depression weight-gain while Tony was incredibly intuitive and noticed when Thor was struggling, offering him small things like breakfast and cutting him off from the situations that were bothering him.

And then later, when Thor desperately volunteers to bring everyone back, Tony moves in and talks him out of it. Not just because he's concerned that Thor will mess it up, but because Tony recognizes the mindset Thor is in as he has experienced it himself. If Thor were to fail, it'd likely be the end of him.

The moments are so easy to miss in the chaos of the narrative, but those, alongside the seemingly natural way he has able to bond with Nebula, just demonstrates how far Tony had grown as a character.

God damn, I miss him.

#thor #tony stark #iron man #avengers endgame #endgame #nebula #mcu #marvel #not everyone cracked jokes but they weren't offering help either

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michelleleewise · 1 year

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In My Shoes..

Pairing: Avenger Loki x Avenger f! Reader

Warnings: swearing, mentions of sex toys, suspected cheating (calm down! Lol), loki being a little shit, flirting, mind reading, bit of angst incoming, loki gets what he gets.

Summary: you learn something very interesting about your boyfriend......and exact revenge...

A/n- graphics by @harlequin-hangout. Inspired by this ASK from @psychospore. A special thank you to @mochie85 and @vbecker10 for reading my nonsense and letting me brainstorm with you! 💚💚

Part one -- Part two-

You slowly opened your eyes, a curtain of black hung across your face blocking the light. "Ugh, not a dream then." You huffed, rolling over you pushed the dark curls back off your face. "Loki, what..." you trailed off looking over seeing the other side of the bed empty. "Loki!" You called out getting no response. You sat up rubbing your eyes seeing you were alone. "Nice..." you trailed off swinging your legs over the side of the mattress standing up you felt a small breeze, looking down remembering Loki's clothes were in his pocket dimension "shit..." you muttered looking around, the only thing in site was the towel from last night. You closed your eyes, shaking your hands you tried to concentrate.

"Ok y/n...you can do this...focus." you said to yourself pacing back and forth you felt the tingling in your fingers, holding your hand out you felt something materialize in your hand. Smiling you opened your eyes, your face dropping seeing a familiar toy Loki had acquainted you with many...many times. "Loki..." you sighed tossing it on the bed. You closed your eyes, trying several more times before flopping into his chair looking at the bed. A leather strap, a bottle of lube, a book of Shakespeare poetry and something that reminded you of a sex swing had joined the pile "what do you keep in there?" You muttered grabbing the towel wrapping it around your waist. "Please dear God let everone be gone." You said walking to the door.

You peaked your head out seeing the hallway empty as you made your way towards Thor's room. The plan was simple, sneak in grab some clothes and sneak out "easy peasy." You whispered reaching his door. You pressed your ear against it, hearing silence you slowly opened it and snuck inside. You tip toed to the closet, opening it you grabbed the first shirt you saw pulling it over your head you rummaged through the hangers finding a pair of grey sweatpants "oh thank god." You whispered, pulling the towel off you pulled them up cinching the waist as you stepped out "Brother...what are you doing?" You heard, snapping your head up seeing Thor naked as the day he was born.

You quickly averted your eyes, trying to look everywhere but him "umm...i uhh...." you stuttered making your way to the door "loki? What is the matter?" He asked stepping towards you. "N..nothing Thor! I just...my clothes are dirty and i...I am borrowing some of yours." You said quickly walking towards the door "Brother wait, there is something I wished to ask you." You heard feeling his large hand grip your shoulder. Screwing your eyes shut you tilted your head down "what is it Thor." You snapped hoping he would let you leave "are you and lady y/n alright?" He asked making you open your eyes "why? Have you heard something?" You asked keeping your back to him "only idle gossip, I have heard that you have been seen flirting with the ladies in the lab so I thought I would ask." He said releasing you.

You heart plummeted to your stomach was he really doing that? You asked yourself clearing your throat "I will thank you to stay out of my business thor." You snapped, trying to sound as Loki as possible "apologies, I meant no disrespect. I only hoped what i heard was false, y/n is an amazing woman...you should cherish her." Thor said stepping back "we will speak later Thor." You said quickly leaving before he continued talking. You walked down the hall feeling your heart racing in your chest. You didn't know if what Thor said was true or not, all you knew is you needed to find Loki and now.

You walked into the kitchen, the smell of bacon wafting through the air made your stomach grumble when you froze, taking in the site before you. "Thank you captain..." he purred running a hand down Steve's arm "I cannot tell you how much I appreciate it" He continued, a large smile spread across his...well your face. "Oh its no problem at all y/n, now what did you say was wrong?" He asked looking at Loki, concern spread across his features "oh...I broke a nail you see." He said holding his hand up "it hurt sooo bad." He whined, giving him big puppy dog eyes as Steve grabbed his hand "well ill make breakfast for you anytime y/n." He smiled kissing the back of his...your hand.

You stepped in clearing you throat seeing Steve drop Loki's hand "hey, morning Loki. Breakfast?" Steve asked shifting his attention back to the stove "no...y/n can I speak to you?" You asked sternly seeing Loki smile at you "im a bit busy at the moment actually." He smiled looking back at Steve "now darling." You growled watching his smile drop. You watched him slide off the counter, your eyes widening seeing the outfit he had on. He had taken your favorite jeans and cut them so high they practically weren't there anymore, your tank top rolled up above your stomach and tied to the side exposing your midriff as he sauntered over to you. "Yes dear, what did you need?" He asked, his smile returning seeing the look on your face. You grabbed his arm pulling him into the common room.

"Loki, what the hell am I wearing?" You whisper yelled hearing him laugh "you have a beautiful body darling, as I have told you many times, why not show it off?" He snarked sitting on the couch spreading his legs apart "because loki, I would never wear that!" You said raising your voice "yes I know, your closet was full of frumpy sweaters and what you call grandmother clothing....so I improvised." He smiled. You looked down rubbing the bridge of your nose people are gonna think im a slut you thought looking back up "no they will not, and if they do they will answer to me." He said sternly standing up "stop reading my mind!" You yelled putting your hands on your hips "and what..." he trailed off crossing his arms "is that?" He asked pointing at your shirt. You looked down for the first time noticing the bright red shirt you stole from Thor, a picture of mjolnir on it with the words "feel the thunder" printed across it. "I had to steal this from your brother." You snapped.

"Did you even try to summon my clothes? Or did you just give up?" He asked making you sigh "yes I tried! And the things that appeared should be illegal." You whisper yelled seeing him laugh "well I didn't hear you complain the other night when.." you cut him off holding up your hand "I don't wanna know Loki." You sighed flopping down on the couch "did you figure out how to switch us back?" You asked when he came over straddling your lap "no, I have not...but I must admit I am very much enjoying this." He purred leaning forward. "How are you so comfortable with this?" You asked grabbing his shoulders "you forget darling, I can shift to whichever form I choose....female being one of them." He smiled standing back up "now if you will excuse me, the good captain is making me breakfast." He said sauntering back towards the kitchen.

"Loki, that's not a good idea! He's going to think im interested in him" you said seeing him smile "it's only a bit of fun...besides I don't cook and he is so very helpful." He said walking out of the room. Anger flooded through you remembering what thor had told you...loki ruining your clothes and flirting with Steve "oh, two can play that game....darling." you said, standing up you walked to the elevator and headed down to the labs, if he wanted to mess with you you would respond in kind. You walked out seeing a small group of women huddled around a table "Hey Loki." One said waving at you, you glared in response heading straight for Tony "Stark!" You yelled making him jump "geeze reindeer games give a guy some warning." He said setting his blowtorch down "I require a vehicle and money." You snapped, trying to do your best impression of your boyfriend. "A please would be nice." Tony said pulling out his wallet "what did you need it for?" He asked handing you a black card "that is not your concern." You snapped turning quickly heading for the door when the woman from earlier stepped in front of you.

"Hey, is everything ok?" She asked taking a step closer. Your heart pounded in your ears as she reached up rubbing your arm "I am quite fine thank you." You said shooing her hand away "you never gave me an answer...about tonight." She smiled making you want to gag "what about tonight?" You asked crossing your arms "remember, I asked if you wanted to have dinner at my place, but you left in a hurry." She said taking another step closer "you know, I can make you feel good. I'll treat you better then she does." She purred. You felt your heart sink knowing Loki never mentioned any of this "i...I will let you know." You said stepping back "ok, you have my number...call me." She smiled walking back over to the table. You cleared your throat before heading back to the elevator and the parking garage "oh, he's gonna to pay." You whispered as the doors closed.

A few hours later you returned to the tower, adjusting your suit you walked towards the common room with a smile on your face. "Brother, you look...different." Thor said "yes, I thought I would try something new." You said walking into the kitchen seeing Loki sat on a barstool, Phone in hand. "Hello dear." You snarked as his eyes met yours "odins beard what have you done!" He yelled jumping off the stool. "Do you like it? Is it your color after all." You said running a hand through his now green hair. "This is a travesty! Change it back at once!" He yelled looking you up and down "and what in the norns are you wearing!?" He yelled walking around you "oh, I thought you needed a little color in your wardrobe." You smiled adjusting the crushed velvet purple suit, and for kicks you added a matching shirt and tie "you cannot be seen in...in that!" He yelled waving his arms "what will people think!?" He continued, smiling seeing his face turn red. "Well I had to make sure I looked good for my date didn't i?" You asked seeing his eyes widen "I beg your pardon?" He asked crossing his arms.

"One of the ladies from the labs, she asked me...well you to dinner....remember?" You asked crossing your arms "y/n, wait...please, it's not..." you cut him off "oh, not what I think?" You snarked looking down at him "Well based on how you were with Steve today you'll forgive me if I don't believe you." You said. How many other women did he have? You asked yourself seeing his eyes soften "Darling, there is only you, I have not been with anyone else." He said making you shake your head. "Well that's not what thor said." You said walking to the counter "you would believe that witless oaf over me?" He asked following you "I don't know, should i?" You asked.

"Y/n, cease this childishness at once and fix my hair!" He yelled "you know...I don't know, I got quite a few compliments on the way back" you smiled, looking over you could practically see smoke coming out of his ears. "I have to go her ready for tonight, if you will excuse me." You said walking to the door "y/n, please..." he said making you turn around "you know, I think it hurt more knowing you didn't even tell me" you said watching him look down. "If you are innocent as you say you are, why didn't you tell me she asked you out?" You asked crossing your arms "it....it wasn't a big deal, and I didn't want to upset you." He said making you sigh. "Well that worked well for you." You said turning back to the door. "Y/n..." he called after you but you chose to ignore him, heading to his room.

You slid your jacket off, loosening the tie as you sat in his chair. Closing your eyes you leaned your head back against the cushion. You had no intention of going anywhere with the lab girl but you wanted to make him sweat, hoping maybe he would understand how you were feeling. You opened your eyes looking at the pile of toys in the middle of the bed making you laugh "your lucky I love you you ass." You said getting up scooting everything over lying down. You needed to figure out how to switch back, and soon.

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