#BECAUSE HE VALUES HIMSELF SO LITTLE

[theyonapodcast]

An under-appreciated gag: when Hak doesn't know what to do with Yona, he pretends to be someone else.

#i'm not going to unpack the implications of this #because talking about how little hak values himself will make me sad and i'm avoiding emotions at the moment #so we'll just leave it at a cute little thing he does when he's in a silly goofy mood #hak #yona #hakyona #yona of the dawn #akatsuki no yona

[dollypopup]

thinking about the 'I would never court Penelope Featherington' scene again and how angry our fandom has been at Colin for it for the last two years and wondering. . .what exactly was he meant to say?

Lord Fife and his friends are *slimy*. They are gross. They have 0 respect for women. Fife isn't *Colin's* friend. Fife is *Anthony's* friend. Fife runs in Anthony's circles. Misogynistic circles with misogynistic language. Fife and Co. are out here saying the debutantes are only good for being 'wed, bed, and bred'. Fife is the one out here, well into his 30s and with an established title, fucking an 18 year woman raw on her first year out in the marriage mart with 0 intention to marry her. That is 10000% an act of violence in this society. And you *know* he's bragging about it. Hell, he was probably bragging about it right before he asked Colin about Penelope.

Colin's not in those circles. Colin has female friends. Colin respects his mother. Colin cares for his sisters. The worst thing Colin has EVER said about a woman was to call her 'cruel'.

So. . .what is Colin meant to say? "No, we're just friends" isn't going to fly for people like Fife. As IF he wouldn't reply with 'Yeah, suuuuuure, wink wink nudge nudge'. Thus ruining Penelope and fucking over her future completely. A lesser man than Colin would have let them think what they wanted, and that would have still ruined Penelope in their eyes. Silence? Incriminating.

And he doesn't want FIFE of all people to know about his close friendship with Penelope. Fife who has never once been seen respecting a woman. Fife who has never once viewed a woman as a person and not a sexual conquest. Penelope is a safe place for Colin. Is precious to him. He KNOWS that conversation could have destroyed her reputation.

People talk about how he 'ruined her prospects', but in actuality, Colin responding the way he did. . .likely SAVED her prospects. There was NOTHING he could have said except for a vehement refusal, completely shutting down the conversation, that would have spared her from their judgement and cruelty. Sure, they laughed, and maybe it was at Pen. Maybe it was at Colin. (frankly, how good of a twist would it be if they WERE laughing at Colin? Colin the 'green' boy back from his travels after being oh so gullible and getting lied to by his ex fiance? Anthony made fun of Colin for being a virgin, we think these men, all 10+ years older than him, wouldn't do the same?) But at least they didn't go 'yeah, I guess she's a ruined woman' about it, because that *would* have destroyed her reputation

We talk about how Colin could have worded it differently, but honestly?

I think he said the exact right thing in those circumstances

#polin #penelope featherington #colin bridgerton #bridgerton #lord fife #lord cho #fife and company are so gross to me i do NOT understand the narrative of fife just wanting pen for himself #she's a little too old for him at this point considering he's looking for his girlfriend on a playground don't you think? #sorry not sorry i will forever be a colin apologist #no but really what should he have said???? #'oh yeah we're fucking six ways to sunday?' #'no she's just my friend'? - Fife doesn't believe for a MOMENT that a man can value a woman as a friend #colin is the best man in that entire bunch but somehow he's the one we've demonized? #make it make sense #and sure he should apologize for talking about her behind her back- but Penelope should also then apologize for the same #we talk a lot about him being 'knocked off the pedestal' but in reality we've put him on the highest pedestal possible #colin is a GOOD man #he is arguably the best man in the entire series #at least he's the man with the best intentions and the least harm #and so when he fucks up we feel it ten fold because he was already so good #but when gross dudes fuck up we just expect it of them and give them a pass #we expect colin to not only be better- but to be perfect #and he isn't he can't be #he didn't say it perfectly #but OBVIOUSLY his intentions in that scene aren't malicious #and it's not locker room talk either? #look at the optics: Colin is 22 being asked by these 30+ year old dudes 'sooooo are you boinking the girl'? #one season after his engagement blew up publicly #in the season where no one listens to his travel stories #the season after he was virgin shamed

[son1c]

the thing about fibula is that eggman didn't pick him to be his guinea pig for necromancy for a reason. literally, he just randomly chose a grave to rob. fibula wasn't special... he just got "lucky." for the first time in his life. and isn't it ironic? this guy, who spent his whole life working so, so hard... for nothing... falls into the hands of a supervillain Just Because.

it's like spider-man, but twisted. you know?

and while fibula is mostly indifferent about eggman's cause, he pretty much instantly gets attached to eggman himself. because he's the one who gave him this second chance at life--without even being asked. it's the only time someone has ever offered fibula something so meaningful, and he holds onto it with all of his undead strength.

so, yes; fibula owes eggman. but he also just wants to prove that he deserves this second chance. to make eggman proud. because that old hardworking, people-pleaser attitude that fibula carried with him all his life isn't truly dead... it's just found a new source of motivation.

and the best part? eggman DOES appreciate fibula... for what he can do for the empire. finally, someone sees worth in him, and it solidifies his loyalty to a man who, in life, he certainly would have despised.

#fibula the hedgehog #tl;dr guy who spent his whole life vying for appreciation suddenly finds himself valued by an evil doer. and suddenly being evil ain't #lookin so bad! #i think fibula seeing eggman as a sort of father figure would be so sad also. because he never knew his real father. and obviously #eggman is NOT the father type. all of his metal ''children'' are so so twisted. after all... #but that sort of desperate desire to Be Something just hits a little harder when the person he's trying to impress is someone he views as a #surrogate father. yk

[zeb-z]

Bad has so many reasons to be cautious, even paranoid, as anyone else on the island. From Federation nonsense to Dapper being kidnapped to the whole purgatory nonsense to whatever fuckass suit of armor “old friend” was setting up cameras in his house. But it compounds on his regular overly aware paranoid self to this state of hyper-paranoia. And as a demon who can and usually will lie, cheat, steal, and use sneaky underhanded tactics, he expects the craziest extent because he thinks of it, realizes it’s possible, and would use it himself. We saw this very obviously in purgatory - when he thought greens desperate last ditch effort to balance the scale was a super planned out tactic to tip the scale, so he did it first, all the hardcore base hunting, the spawn killing, there’s a reason every other tactic he used usually followed a main channel qsmp post with updated rules - all usually things he was surprised no one else thought of. But then this also piles onto the fact that he has to have things go his way, all the time, and that he’s argumentative as all get out, which led to the debate between him and Bagi yknow. Especially because he’s not just doing it for the sake of being right, he doesn’t think he’s paranoid, but that he’s exercising the right amount of caution.

So like. Listen dude. Yeah he’s got reasons to be paranoid. But his thought process around building vaults for separate cookie caches like they locked up the risus pills, only to scrap it because it’s not perfectly impenetrable, is extreme. His character has hardly been a leading example in someone who has reasonable reactions to things. And even when there isn’t his own children’s livelihoods potentially on the line, he has a need for control, and the most control he has is if he keeps the cookies in his inventory at all times. If he makes himself the sole point in which the others can get ones in a case of emergency, then he can control the variables. The problem is he’s unreliable about himself when he’s at his most rational and healthiest, and he’s far worse with the current memory and health issues he’s been mostly unaware of.

I dunno it’s like. There is never going to be a purely impenetrable base. And it’s not just a case of “Bagi just hasn’t lived through __ yet!”. Bad’s own logic about keeping the cookies on him at all times is flawed under his own logic, because Bagi is right - if someone has enough drive to break into separate secured cookie caches purely for the downfall of eggs, they more than certainly have enough drive to find a way to kill Bad and just take them from his inventory, or to just kill the eggs themselves. All it truly does is give Bad a sense of control, and soothe his paranoia.

#everyone let’s remember rurus’ tweet about bad NOT being in the blunt rotation. he would try to pluck cameras out of your eyes. and he will #make it seem like it’s the most reasonable thing to do in that moment #now this is more me complaining about shit I’ve been seeing on Twitter in the tags <3 love and peace but I’ve got beef #side note - to say the people who are commenting on qBad’s paranoia or this and that are all newcomers who just ‘weren’t there to experienc #-the dark times’ or ‘weren’t there for the egg deaths/nightmares’ like you are not immune to the way bbh can make something seem so #reasonable #he’s got his own reasons to be paranoid. and most everyone agreed that the base idea of a ‘cookie jar’ would need rethinking with security #but to say qBagi (or Jorge’s/other viewers) is shortsighted or naive. when qBad is THE definition of paranoia. of overreacting. like #qBad’s reaction extends from a mixture of care hyper paranoia and trauma response (which is half that hyper paranoia) #and he will pick and pick and pick until there’s nothing left to pick at #sometimes this is helpful. a lot of the time it’s not #and on the flip side it’s like y’all bad cares about the eggs to a ridiculous degree don’t be silly here okay. he does this because he care #even without a memory in his brain he calls them ‘little one’ and is gentle like. he cares #but at the same time this doesn’t always justify his nonsense. his thought processes. he’s Uber hyper paranoid and not easy to reason with #he’s selfish he can and will jump to extremes he’s overly controlling. and he’s the worlds most unreliable narrator #I’ve been saying this I’ll keep saying this he’s an unreliable narrator! this doesn’t make everything he says or thinks bullshit but you #cannot take what he says to himself how he justifies his actions etc etc in private at face value. unless he is making it EXPLICITLY CLEAR #he’s talking from a meta perspective as the creator of his character #you have to take his perspective with a grain of salt. because he will ‘I’m just a little guy and the world is out to get me’ his way outta #everything #there is a difference between reasonable caution from learned past experiences and overly anxious paranoid responses #idk I’m running out of steam sorry this is like a second post with the tags #and again I say this as a huge qBbh enjoyer lmao #mcyt #qsmp #q!bbh #q!bagi #z speaks

[seriousbrat]

what do you think lily's flaws were likely to have been? I hear so many people complain about her being a "Mary Sue" and I feel like it's true that the narrative doesn't really give us problems with her character in the way that it does for James/the other marauders.

Love this question!! I actually think we do see some of Lily's flaws in the narrative, they're just not quite as obvious (or grievous) as Sev's or James's.

In her conversations with Sev in the Prince's Tale, we see that she's willing to overlook pretty unforgivable behaviour because of her friendship with/loyalty towards Sev. He's friends with Mulciber and Avery, he calls the attack on Mary 'a laugh'. In the post-SWM conversation, she displays awareness that Sev calls other people 'mudblood'. Sure, she's not okay with it, but she still tolerates it; it's not until this actively affects her that she decides to end the friendship. I read this as a mixture of naïveté but also just willing blindness. She knows better deep down, but chooses to ignore it because of her love for Sev.

Another thing Lily-haters tend to harp on is her defending James, Sev's bully, to him in this conversation. And I do somewhat agree (although I think it's ridiculous to hold this as worse than everything Sev does to her) but I think it's another sign of her willingness to overlook certain behaviours that she shouldn't. She wants to believe that there's good in everyone because that's easier than facing reality. I don't read this line as 'you should forgive James for everything', I read it more as 'why can't everyone get along because that would be easier than dealing with conflict'. In some ways she's right, because there is good in both Sev and James-- it's somehow both her greatest strength and her greatest weakness. This blind trust is what gets her killed, it's what causes her so much pain in SWM, but it's also what saves her son in the end.

Another thing I think we see in SWM is her temper. Like I've said I think Harry gets his anger issues from Lily rather than from James, and I think she's impulsive, reckless, quick to anger. She leads with her heart. It would have been more rational to get a teacher but she dives into the confrontation personally. She insults both James and Sev pretty viciously in this scene (totally deserved, but still). Her giant squid rant is not some well thought out moral indictment of James's character or actions but an emotional response, a personal attack borne of anger. It's very similar to Harry's numerous all caps rages throughout OotP in which he takes out his anger on the people around him.

When thinking about Lily I think it's fair to extrapolate from Harry's character, because they're meant to be similar. Thematically, DH is largely about Harry realising that he's much more like Lily than he realised. Dumbledore says he was counting on Hermione to slow Harry down: Harry represents the intuitive approach, Hermione the logical. Too much reliance on intuition can't save the day, but neither can too much reliance on logic. It's about balance. Sev is the Hermione to Lily-- his learned ability to put aside his emotional needs and impulses for the greater good is ultimately how Lily protects her son through him.

#lily evans #that got long sorry but it always does when i talk about lily lol #or about anything. ive got to have my little essays #also i'm not saying harry's behaviour isn't understandable!!! it totally is im a harry defender 4life #but it is a flaw that he has. #i honestly see lily as more reckless than james weirdly enough. like i think james deep down is fairly pragmatic and thoughtful #he just represses this part of himself as a teen because he doesn't value it #this is the difference btwn him and sirius. sirius didn't think about the consequences of the prank. james immediately grasped them. #'the risk would have made it fun for james' not adult james. not james who faced voldemort to buy his wife and child time to escape #but sirius is so stuck in the past that he glorifies teenage james rather than learning the same lessons #again i think this is understandable given what sirius has been through. but ultimately irresponsible #meta #lily

[sammis-svsss-brainrot]

Thinking about how Luo Binghe just wants to do something right in his life and how he's been thrown away by so many people and it's not that he's desperate for attention or trying to manipulate Shen Qingqiu into becoming dependent on him by spoiling him so much, but rather that Binghe just wants so bad to matter in someone's life that if he makes himself invaluable then he'll never have to face the pain of being thrown away and I'm wkzmsmxntjskmwjdk

#maybe im a little bit of a luo binghe kinnie #he's just like... a little guy #He just wants to be valued and the cared for and the easiest way to make sure he's valued is to make himself invaluable #I love him #Binghe pouring spiritual energy into SQQ's body every day for five years to stop him from decaying #even when it gets to the point of it hurting him #because his well being doesn't matter nearly as much as SQQ's.... #so many thoughts in my head about this man #svsss #scum villian self saving system #mxtx #luo binghe #sammi speaks

[mymelodyisme]

MYS HELPING VINCENT AND JAS SET UP A LEMONADE STAND DURING THE SUMMER

#Pierre complains that they don’t have the proper paperwork and mys threatens to buy her seeds elsewhere so he shuts his mouth #shane swings by buy a cup drinks it there and buys a refill drinks it there buys a refill drinks it there buys a refill #he also stops to flirt with mys and though the kids are usually super stoked about mys and Shane being into each other tell him to get lost #if he’s not gonna by more because he’s loitering 😂 #Haley complains a little bit that the lemonade needs more sugar and takes a photo of them #the moms all come spoil these hardworking children #Sam drags seb and Abby to buy a drink. Sam buys three seb and Abby think it’s for them but he downs them all himself #Jas thinks Abby is the coolest so she gives her one for free them charges seb for two and when he complains she adds a 25 cents to his price #Lewis comes by and tells the kids about how HE had a lemonade stand in his youth and how he charged a quarter for one cup and how he #still has it today and it taught him all about the value of hard work #Penny stops by and pulls out her wallet and the kids are like ‘NO. you get one for free Miss Penny’ #Marnie finds excuses to keep popping up for a drink telling them it’s the best she’s ever had #🥺 at the end of the day they make quite a bit and mys buys them each a new piggy bank to save their money in for when they use it #stardew valley: poochencia farm #myshane♥️

[scoobydoomidnightblue]

When back in 2016 i wrote about how much of an unreliable narrator Theodore decker is on PINTEREST of all places, like girl, i agree but just cut the slav and get a tumblr.

#the goldfinch #theodore decker #donna tartt #like the main thing that Boris represents to theo and why he holds onto him is boris just #is able to let things go and move on so easily while still remembering it and shit and theo is jealous #half of the goldfinch is probably made up in his fucked up little head and the funny part is that unlike Nabokov or something he doesn’t #even make himself look good in it #he’s just too broody #theo #i’m sorry your mom died #but get over yourself honey #you’re making it worse for everyone while reading the little diaries you kept while high as balls in the desert #i do wholeheartedly believe boris exists because i love him and i want him to exist #but it’s so funny to me #the west of my existence be like #literally tripping balls in the desert but disguised as a beautiful poem about western values and shit #anyway? goodnight #also #i have no idea what ‘cut the slav’ means but i like it and i’m using it #i’m minting it in my own good image to use in conversation along with its counterparts ‘cut the slab’ or ‘cut the slay’ #so has said my wife #now #very much #goodnight

[minterim]

just had my dad admit to me that even though he's fully aware of how much his alcoholism hurts me and my mum and brother he refuses to quit drinking outright because he likes it. cool

#im so sick of this shit. cant wait to move out #his current method if youre interested is to only drink wine after dinner. so that hes not pissed drunk at the dinner table #note: he can still drink as much beer as he wants. and still drinks all that wine after dinner anyway. and has a success rate of very bad #this is harm reduction. apparently #AND he has the fucking gall to complain that we dont give him any positive reinforcement when he succeeds!! fuck offfff #i try to be graceful and forgiving. addiction recovery isnt linear. and at least he admits its an addiction now #and he has chronic back pain and childhood trauma and whatnot. but given that he has that back pain because he stormed out in a drunken huf #then shat himself wandered into the shower to clean off and then slipped and broke his ribs. i find it. a little hard. to be sympathetic. #the complete dismissal of the success stories from recovering alcoholics going teetotal as fucking AA propaganda also doesnt help. lol. #but yeah. point is: he values being allowed to drink more than he values us and keeping himself from hurting us #there you have it. in black and white #personal #delete later #apologies for oversharing. needed to get this all out #i gotta get the fuck outta here man. i feel numb to everything #anyhoo. if you read this far kudos. thanks for lookin out or whatever <3

[belovedmuichiro]

Lmao not to do this on Kyojuro’s birthday but how about an au where Senjuro is fatally injured by a demon attack and in his frantic search for a doctor, Akaza finds them and offers to save Senjuro by turning him into a demon, and Kyojuro accepts

#emmie speaks #renkaza #because ofc it is #my vision is secret little demon family #but sad #also like. Kyojuro is so ready to let himself die at all times because he holds no value over his own life #but what would he do for someone he loves more than anything?? #i also imagine Akaza wouldn’t of offered out of malice #I can’t see him willingly ruining a kid’s life #would Senjuro have his memories? who knows! I just wrote this on a whim!

[weretoad-art]

Wanted to draw my fatebinder from Tyranny. He is a walking existential crisis who is one kind word away from a nervous breakdown at all times. 

#tyranny game #fatebinder #fatebinder Başt #the conquest absolutely wrecked him #the branching markings on his face/body are scars resembling the lichtenberg figure markings that appear in victims of lightening strikes #(part of the physical trauma of reading the edict of storms) #he is trying so hard to prove himself to his fucked up little court family #because he conflates approval with affection/value #and what he wants more than anything else in the world is connection #but everything he does to create what he believes are the conditions for connection #(ie. making himself acceptable/useful) #just further alienate and isolate him #but he can't stop because that would mean failure (and probably death) which would place him irredeemably beyond the pale

[spiinsparks]

         ||. something something so//ni.c has street rat energy something something about so//ni.c deliberately choosing not to have a chip on his shoulder (or, more accurately: refuse to let the chip that IS there, dictate his life like everyone else he’s faced), blah blah he knows the world sucks, he knows it hurts, he knows that putting his trust in people who don’t deserve it will bite him in the ass ; he KNOWS the world is swathed in shades of grey , he knows that it can be a dog-eat-dog world out there , he KNOWS if you don’t fend for yourself, nobody else will, because nobody’s obligated to , and sometimes no reason to trust in the benefit-of-the-doubt....

      but he chooses to believe in that benefit-of-the-doubt anyways ... because if he doesn’t then what does that say about redemption? and if there’s no redemption then what does THAT say about the good in the world? yes freedom of choice means people will make bad choices but it also means MAYBE they can be the good in the world he wants to see and it has to start somewhere. so it starts with him. even though he knows it can, sometimes, be a fool’s errand.

#(something something his friends anchor this belief in him) #(not that it would go anywhere because #it really is just his nature to believe in good and to love the world his CORE VALUES are 1. freedom 2. love) #(but yeah.anyways. idk. he's not immune to the chip on his shoulder trope he just... refuses to let it dictate his life) #(bc he /could/ be chaotic. he /could/ only fend for himself or his Found Family but nah he'd rather fight for the little guy) #(he knows nobody else is gonna do it so goddamn it /he will/. he can get burnt and mangled and busted up) #(he'll smile and take it and get up again and fight for you anyways even if you're the one who stabbed him in the back) #(SOMEONE HAS TO. so he will.) #(anyways i'm having like 10 different epiphanies rn i'm exhausted and blue boi over here is rotting my brain) #⸨ * OOC ⸩ — he was never actually called a rodent in the games but yknow . #⸨ * HC ⸩ — i’m gonna reach for the stars although they look pretty far .

[camptw1nk]

sorry but kurt cant really tell when people are being mean to him and no one is using it against him. Why is no one using it against him

#he knows he feels bad but he takes everyones words and attitudes at face value and simply believes what people say ab him #he doesn't know himself so their perceptions of him is god in his eyes #and i think sometimes he can be a little mean because hes. its a. they See him as awful and he is. #people pleasing? but in a. #you think im horrible so to make you happy and content in your belief i will be awful #very i am the monster you created except he is doing too much and running off of assumptions of what people believe of him

[raspberryjellybrains]

I've been thinking a lot lately about Delirium and the way she speaks. She talks around a concept, never hitting it head on but glancing off through a series of metaphors and related concepts that explain things far better than wording them straight might. It's very relatable, and I think that's why I like her; that's how I think.

To me, the world isn't composed of precisely defined concepts but a series of interconnected existences which can all, ultimately, be related to each other. I also experience things in the incredibly specific manner Delirium seems to. I have sensitivities largely untethered from aversions, meaning that while I don't often find things deeply unpleasant or intolerable, I still experience them with an unusual specificity which often defies concise explanation. The best way I can convey certain feelings or experiences is through other feelings, experiences, and concepts to weave together a series of approximations that through their similar and dissimilar traits narrow down to what I'm trying to describe. Delirium does this too, and it's treated as a part of her that's no better or worse than any other. There are those that don't understand and those that do, and those that at least try to are awarded for their efforts because finally and most importantly, she genuinely has something to say. Her speech patterns are deceptively rambling because she takes a long time to say what she means to say, while simultaneously saying exactly it.

Delirium is neurodivergent coded in such a cathartic way because of this. I feel her frustration and joy because I know what it's like to be the person trying to explain something that has no words to assign, asking all of the time if there's a word for what she's feeling as a rhetorical and genuine question so that she can explain something without explaining it and call into question why we feel everything must be precisely laid in the place of as few words as possible. She is incredibly intelligent, but loses track of all of what's happening in a far more obvious way than most because there's just so much to keep track of, which is also very relatable as a neurodivergent person. Without putting labels on the experience, she perfectly captures it. I just... I like Delirium quite a lot, and think she'd be very good at post-modern literature.

#i hope to god this comprehensible #im trying so hard to get this shit in a line exactly becaude of why i like her #theres jusy SO MUCH to say its very hard to keep it straight and many more things to focus on beyond it #i love that delirium is treated by the narrative as an intelligent and wise being that just conveys that in an unconventional way #shes like my mirror metaphor. no mirror can light upon the minutae without shattering and no shattered mirror can see the bigger picture. #shes shattered but knows from when she was whole what the full picture looks like but she gets lost in all of the fragments #which gives her an incredibly unique and valuable perspective #at a surface level it seems as if she's an offensive depiction of mental illness but once you go deeper you realize shes not for the very- #reason she at first seemed to be. she embodies what is looked down upon but its told through side comments and events that theres more to- #her than the seeming irrationality. #she picks up and puts things down as she remembers them but that doesnt mean any one thing is any less valuable than any other #the ephemeral quality of her attentions dont diminish their value. #i have a lot of thoughts about her i just. am very fond. #and the way she and dream truly demonstrate the dichotomy of mental illness and neurodivergence makes me froth at the mouth. #he knows what shes saying most of the time and knows where shes at whether he admits it to himself or not because shes just externalizing- #what exists solely internally for him. hes better at masking and that is their difference which makes Such a statement oh my god when you- #think about how each are treated and understood. #it took me like. two weeks to organize these thoughts btw. they float in little brain clouds <3 #i need to watch everything everywhere all at once #anyway #delirium of the endless #the sandman meta #the sandman #raspberry rambles

[garbagequeer]

castiel cheering up his baby: dont worry son! the creature said it wouldnt take me until i was happy. daddy’s far too miserable to die. come on kid have some cereal with me :^)

#in a way he was a normal dad #we talk about dean being like hello everyone when the time comes i want you to lock me in a box and dump me in the ocean forever #... why the long faces come on have a beer! coffin. ocean. done! #but cas is like never be happy. live forever. tell no one. done! #like dean has a leg to stand on by being like how can you risk your life and not tell us because every time he wants to kill himself #he's like alright then wednesday 10pm im killing myself. be there or be square #but cas is like how could you value your life so little. anyways im late for my secret appointment. and goes and kills himself in secret #swiftie ass #thing #supernatural

[kingslayerstew]

when the. ww

(frothing at the mouth) huge spoilery ramble in tags

#gk #kikuposting #compensating for the lack of kirowilksofia official art and promo material #the EFFICIENCY in the way these two characters are introduced and fleshed out in tandem ooough #every time they interact we get revelations abt them and our perception of them as individuals and their relationship shifts #the toni hunt tells us theyre very familiar w eachother (tactically and personally) and seem to be on the same wavelength #the betrayal tells us abt their night in the trenches and how kiku seems to value that memory (by proxy their relationship) more than ipopt #their next meeting reveals kiku 1. is a spy 2. inconsiderate and self centered as hell 3. really really wants ipopte back at his side #and THEN we get the full flashback of what actually happened in mukden #cementing why this journey is so important to ipopte and his motive for the betrayal. exploring cultural identity and disconnect and regret #how kiku would have known but because of his guilt + avoidant coping mechanisms completely repressed this memory and romanticised it instea #so the memory of 'ariko tells me about how the death of his father (which i was involved in) left him lost and grieving' #becomes 'that night the two of us called out to eachother under the narrow sliver of the moon' #and when what truly happened finally resurfaces kiku realizes hes in the wrong #and the next time he meets ipopte and is rejected he finally understands and when he splits ways he tells him hell be waiting for him #lets go to a hot spring together sometime again T_T #AGHH its so good its so fun the amount of substance in this relationship w so little screentime between two minor characters #and how its used to flesh the two of them out #kiku as a character with realistic flaws aside from being dumb and how those flaws actually impact his relationship w someone he cares abt #ipopte who regrets distancing himself from his cultural id bcs of a desire to assimilate. his feelings resonated with me a lot #and i think its an experience many marginalized ppl can relate to but isnt often expressed in media #this long ass ramble didnt even cover half of my thoughts abt them #i need to know what noda was on when he wrote ch260-280 theyre so good I LOVE GOLDEN KAMUYYYYY