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vermillioncourt-if · 3 months

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In south of the Siji Empire, there is a kingdom the sun favors, staying warm and bright through the year. Clothed in luxuriant ruby red silks, the gold of the sunrays, and adorned in feathers, its people are said to house the spirit of fire within themselves. They live their lives loving, desiring, and hating with incandescent fervor. Fueled by the flames of their namesake and the blessing of the sun, the air is ripe to burst into a unstoppable wildfire. Welcome to the Vermillion Court.

The Vermillion Court is a current WIP and new interactive CYOA novel. The focus is heavily on romance, drama, and the characters. It is inspired by fantasy period-piece C-Dramas (Chinese Dramas) and historical romance manhua/manhwa. It will combine pieces from multiple fantasy period-pieces, both Western and Eastern. It's being written in Twine.

This game is my palate cleanser for my main game, Under the Eyes of Themis. Updates may be slow since that game will receive most of my attention, but I will try to update at least once a month! Please feel free to send asks or anything, since this has quickly become a bit of a passion project!

Note: Because this is still a WIP, some names of characters or places may change. All names are presented as "Last Name" "First Name" and I will provide pronunciation guides in the game as well as on the info pages on the blog!

Genre: Romance, Drama, Court Drama

Rating: 18+ (Will include sexual content, potential violence, and typical warnings attached to fantasy period-pieces)

Tracked Tag: #the vermillion court

Demo || Romance Options || Side Characters || FAQ || Ask Guidelines || Tag Navigation ||

In The Vermillion Court, you are taken to the fantasy period-piece inspired world and continent of Nian. You play as the Fourth Prince or Princess of the Xiatian Kingdom, the child of the King of the Xiatian Kingdom and one of his consorts. As Fourth Prince/Princess, you have a pretty open schedule and a nice cushy life. Being among the first five princes and princesses makes you a prominent enough figure and with six siblings ahead of you in line, no one's really paying attention to what you want to do with your life.

The year is 730 and spring has just given way to the summer season. Various festivals and events are held across the Siji Empire to celebrate the season. At 21-years-old, you're all but happy to attend the social events of the season. Before you leave for the main city, your grandmother informs you that you should look for a partner while there. Apparently your father has been convinced by his favorite wife, Consort Xing, to start marrying you and your siblings off to the other kingdoms. You suspect it has to do with trying to make her son the Crown Prince and are dreading seeing your whole family together again.

Your personal guard and maid accompany you to the capital of Xiatian, where you start a season of festivities, social events, and romance, while also maneuvering the politics of your court and the drama that comes with it.

Play as a man or woman. Choose to be gay, straight, or bisexual

Customize the way you look. Decide what to wear to events to make an impression on the guests

Attend various festivals, parties, and social events to boost your reputation and make allies to help defend you against courtly drama

Choose to romance 1 of 6 characters: your Personal Guard, your Maid, a Lord from the Chuntian Kingdom, a Lady from the Dongtian Kingdom, a Merchant from the Qiutian Kingdom, or a Courtesan

Each route follows the same set of 6 events, but each varies greatly from the others

Find a fiancé(e) before summer ends!

The Fourth Prince/Princess of the Xiatian Kingdom - You (he/him) or (she/her)

You play as the 21-year-old Fourth Prince/Princess of the Xiatian Kingdom. Your father is King Nan Shaimian of the Xiatian Kingdom and your mother is his consort, Consort Huo Qinwen. You are 1 of their 4 children, having 1 older brother and a younger brother and sister, but that fails in comparison to your 18 half-siblings.

You are one of Dowager Queen Nan Niexing's favorite grandchildren, which she proudly states much to the chagrin of your father's 4 other wives.

Appearance: player determined.

Your Personal Guard - Si Huaiqiao (he/him)

Huaiqiao is your personal bodyguard. He is 25-years-old and has been guarding you since you were children. He is very serious and a tad grumpy, always wearing a frown. He doesn't take his job lightly, coming across overprotective, even for a personal guard. He tends to be clueless when it comes to romance, often missing the many women and men flirting with him. You appreciate his work, but maybe you've come to see him more than just your guard?

Appearance: Huaiqiao is a very tall man, standing at around 6'4. He is muscular and fit and is considered to be very attractive. He has straight black hair pulled out of his face that falls to about mid-back when loose. He has clear fair skin and deep black eyes.

Your Maid - Xu Chanyu (she/her)

Chanyu is your personal maid. She is 20-years-old and has been helping you since you were 15. She is a clumsy maid, fumbling over her words and feet quite often but she tries her best and you've come to find her incompetence rather endearing. Besides, it's not like you keep her in your company because she's a good maid, but rather because she's the only assassin who's came close to killing you. Maybe you've come to see her in a different light?

Appearance: Chanyu is a small and lithe woman. She's about 5'0 and is deceptively strong, regularly holding her own against Huaiqiao. Her hair is a dark reddish-brown and her eyes are a dark brown. Her skin is tanned with some freckles.

The Lord from the Chuntian Kingdom - You Kounao (he/him)

Kounao is a noble from the Chuntian Kingdom who's arrived at the Xiatian Kingdom as a diplomatic envoy. He is 21-years-old and is suave and charming. It's easy to see why the Chuntian Kingdom sent him as one of their envoys. Despite holding a position of importance, he tends to be a bit immature and childish, enjoying playing pranks on the other envoys who accompanied him. You find his company refreshing. Maybe you could pursue him as a potential husband?

Appearance: Kounao is man of average height and build, standing at about 5'9. He is fit, but not muscular. He is of partial foreign descent with clear brown skin and short straight black hair. His eyes are dark brown, nearly black.

The Lady from the Dongtian Kingdom - Shen Sandong (she/her)

Sandong is a noble from the Dongtian Kingdom who's arrived at the Xiatian Kingdom as a diplomatic envoy. She is 22-years-old and is very quiet. Her facial expression doesn't change much and she prefers to keep to herself. She doesn't have much to say, but enjoys letting you talk. She's a welcome change of pace to the typically hectic palace. Her icy demeanor intimidates some people, but maybe you find it charming?

Appearnace: Sandong is a woman of average height at about 5'5. She is beautiful with long straight black hair and icy blue eyes. Her skin is pale and clear. She is thicker with a fuller figure than her counterparts from other kingdoms.

The Merchant from the Qiutian Kingdom - Wei Duqiong (he/him)

Duqiong is a merchant from the Qiutian Kingdom who's come to the Xiatian Kingdom to boost his sales during the festival. He is 23-years-old and comes off as a bit shady. He's an effective business man able to charm even the hardest of buyers, but he's very private about his life, not enjoying small talk. You find him to be mysterious and intriguing, not really having met someone like him before. Maybe you'd like to take the time to get to know him better?

Appearance: Duqiong is a tall man standing at around 6'0. He is thin and lean. He appears to be from partial foreign descent. He has medium-length straight blonde hair pulled into a low ponytail and warm brown eyes. He has smooth light brown skin.

The Courtesan - Wu Nahou (she/her)

Nahou is a courtesan from one of the more popular courtesan houses in the city. Unlike her some of sisters, Nahou doesn't provide any physical services and just entertains at parties by playing music, dancing, and reciting poetry. She is 24-years-old and is pleasant and demure while working. Off the clock, she is more rowdy with strong opinions and a confident, self-assured attitude. Maybe you'd like to spend more time with her?

Appearance: Nahou is a shorter woman at about 5'3. She is of partial foreign descent with wavy red hair and hazel eyes. Her skin is pale with freckles and she's considered to be very beautiful. Her frame is more slight and willowy than simply thin.

#the vermillion court #interactive novel #interactive story #if wip #if game #interactive fiction #text based game #twine if #twine game #twine interactive fiction #twine wip #twine story

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eventideluminary-games · 3 months

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Genre: Romance, Drama, Court Drama

Rating: 18+ (Will include sexual content, potential violence, and typical warnings attached to fantasy period-pieces)

Tracked Tag: #the vermillion court

Demo || Romance Options || Side Characters || FAQ || Tag Navigation || Pintrest || Dedicated Side Blog

Play as a man or woman. Choose to be gay, straight, or bisexual

Customize the way you look. Decide what to wear to events to make an impression on the guests

Attend various festivals, parties, and social events to boost your reputation and make allies to help defend you against courtly drama

Choose to romance 1 of 6 characters: your Personal Guard, your Maid, a Lord from the Chuntian Kingdom, a Lady from the Dongtian Kingdom, a Merchant from the Qiutian Kingdom, or a Courtesan

Each route follows the same set of 6 events, but each varies greatly from the others

Find a fiancé(e) before summer ends!

The Fourth Prince/Princess of the Xiatian Kingdom - You (he/him) or (she/her)

You are one of Dowager Queen Nan Niexing's favorite grandchildren, which she proudly states much to the chagrin of your father's 4 other wives.

Appearance: player determined.

Your Personal Guard - Si Huaiqiao (he/him)

Your Maid - Xu Chanyu (she/her)

The Lord from the Chuntian Kingdom - Shen Kounao (he/him)

Kounao is a noble from the Chuntian Kingdom who's arrived at the Xiatian Kingdom as a diplomatic envoy. He is 22-years-old and is suave and charming. It's easy to see why the Chuntian Kingdom sent him as one of their envoys. Despite holding a position of importance, he tends to be a bit immature and childish, enjoying playing pranks on the other envoys who accompanied him. You find his company refreshing. Maybe you could pursue him as a potential husband?

The Lady from the Dongtian Kingdom - You Sandong (she/her)

Sandong is a noble from the Dongtian Kingdom who's arrived at the Xiatian Kingdom as a diplomatic envoy. She is 21-years-old and is very quiet. Her facial expression doesn't change much and she prefers to keep to herself. She doesn't have much to say, but enjoys letting you talk. She's a welcome change of pace to the typically hectic palace. Her icy demeanor intimidates some people, but maybe you find it charming?

The Merchant from the Qiutian Kingdom - Wei Duqiong (he/him)

The Courtesan - Wu Nahou (she/her)

#interactive fiction #if game #if wip #interactive story #text based game #choice of games #hosted games #dashingdon #choicescript #interactive novel #the vermillion court

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lya-dustin · 1 year

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Seasons of my love

Bridgeton!Au! Loosely based on S.2 of Bridgeton where the Male!Reader is Anthony and Aemond is Kate Sharma basically.

It was supposed to be heterosexual, but that felt too basic, so have some gays in love this Sunday instead.

Gif by @gameofthronesdaily

Taglist: @gettheetoanunneryimmediatly

It was heard from the Lonely Light to Asshai by the Shadow that if a man wants to court the princess, he must win her brothers’ favor first. So far, no one has been able to secure Prince Aemond’s blessing.

After Helaena and Aegon petitioned their father to stop Ser Otto and the Queen to force them into marriage, court had been filled to the brim with eligible bachelors.

All simpering fools who have the ambition to rival that of his grandsire and none of the personality nor good nature of Laenor, the last man to marry a princess.

Laenor ---despite his degeneracy--- had been knighted in battle, able to charm birds off trees and, most importantly, a dragonrider.

Laenor had also not given a rat’s arse about what his wife did behind closed doors ---or in the stables as Aemond and Aegon discovered a lifetime ago.

This last part is of paramount importance due to what Aemond knows about his beloved sister.

Sweet Helaena should have been named Rhaena, he thinks as he tries to stop mother from hearing his sister calling Lady Elisa Piper her darling wife.

Helaena did not care if her husband loved her or lived that long and often could not discern between friend or foe, so it fell on Aemond to be the shield who protects her from the rakes and Androw Farmans in the lists.

Being her favorite brother and the only one who cares about her wellbeing, was not an easy job, but only he could do it.

Aegon just wanted her married so their dear mama could stop trying to annul his marriage to Cassandra Baratheon.

Daeron was too young and believed the choice should fall on whoever Helaena liked.

Only Rhaenyra backed this scheme of his, horribly enough.

The Princess of Dragonstone is known for having a good eye for men, Ser Criston had grumbled bitterly ---not that Aemond cared to ask for context about his acrimonious feelings towards his elder sister.

She and Daemon would host the suitors in Dragonstone ---she was in confinement due to the imminent birth of her sixth child--- and send him the list of those whose characters they considered good enough for Helaena along with more profuse apologies from her brood of Strong Boys.

The one-eyed prince found himself forgiving Lucerys after the forty-ninth letter written about his guilt and wished to offer his own eye in recompense.

“Perhaps, number nine and forty will win your approval.” Helaena had said as they met this man whom their sister gave a glowing recommendation.

He dressed well, was a knight and a lord.

Lord (Y/N) (L/N) was also handsome, charming and not a piece of dragonshit, or so Daemon had assured him in his letter.

Perfect for my sweet Helaena, Rhaenyra had added in hers.

“You said the same thing about numbers one to eight and forty, mandia.” Aemond said as he eyed you like a horse being brought forth by the horse coursers yesterday.

As usual, the suitor takes great consideration in wooing his sister and trying to establish a sense of friendship with Aemond.

Unlike the rest, however, you take in consideration his likes and dislikes instead of assuming he is into whatever Aegon or the other rakes are into.

You are well-read, amiable, religious but not a zealot and, most importantly, you get along with Helaena like a house on fire.

“They are perfect for each other, don’t you agree?” mother tried her best to get Aemond to like you.

Too perfect.

And while he has become fond of you, dangerously fond of you, Aemond knows he is setting himself, no, his sister for a sure disappointment.

So one night Aemond decides it is time for Aegon’s test.

A test that consists on getting you drunk, asking questions and leave you in a brothel while both brothers come to a verdict.

You don’t drink much, but eventually you are drunk enough to sing a rather scandalous version of Seasons of My Love with him.

One where instead of a maid it is boy.

Aemond finds himself drunk enough to kiss you.

A mistake the both of you blame on the wine.

After all, Aemond is a prince and you are courting his sister.

“I apologize for my behavior, my lord, it won’t happen again.” He had said pretending it was just that. “But I see no reason to deny you my blessings to marry my sister.”

The kiss mean nothing, the prince tells himself even after finding out from Helaena that you prefer men over women and finds her as beautiful as her brother.

It means nothing, Aemond repeats even after he begins to remember how sweet it was.

He claims he feels nothing for you except friendship and yet the wedding day comes and Aemond feels pained enough to try and numb it with wine.

He should not have these feelings for you, he can’t, it goes against nature and the gods of his mother.

But he wants you, wants you in a way he has not wanted a woman or man before.

Aemond makes a toast and cannot keep his eyes away from yours, thinking it unfair that all the qualities he loves about you are on you, a man.

Not just any man, the man married to his favorite sister.

A man he has to pretend is merely a friend for the rest of their lives because the moment Queen Alicent finds out, they are dead.

Later that night, you find him absent-mindedly strumming a lute.

It’s your wedding night, and yet the ones enjoying the bridal chamber are Helaena and her Elissa going by the looks of it.

“Do you take any requests, your highness?” you ask coming to sit beside him.

A dangerous proximity, one where he cannot trust himself to run should his desires and feelings for you get the best of him again.

“Only if its you.” The prince said trying to keep his cool.

“Rather enjoyed that Myrish song the other night. I had hopes to ask for an encore.” You say, hiding your meaning well enough.

“Hmm, what would your bride say?” Aemond knew Helaena had given him the freedom to do as he pleases, but Aemond needs to hear you say it.

“She sees no reason to deny me her blessings to pursue you.” You answer and take advantage of his surprise to return the kiss.

This time it isn’t called a mistake nor blamed on the wine.

This time Aemond dares to do more than just kiss you.

#aemond x male!reader #bridgerton!au #this is for the gays #aemond targaryen x male!reader #hotd reader insert

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real-total-drama-takes · 7 months

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https://www.tumblr.com/real-total-drama-takes/730285505111031808/i-hate-the-lesbian-eva-headcanon-im-fine-with

Fucking loser. this is total drama its actually entirely about sterotypes!!!! Lol! Do you have a problem with bowie? Do you have a problem with gay noah headcanons? Or do you just hate lesbians.

Also she is more than just "an angry sporty butch person" or whatever, she just doesn't have much screen time to really flesh her out as much as other characters. She has had screentime showing how sweet she can be though. She has goals outside of being sporty or whatever youre trying to argue. Shes literally just a butch woman who have historically 0 representation. Actually insane if you think that the lesbian eva hc is only stereotypes and not just fucking how some lesbians are. Especially in 2007. Some lesbians are just Fucking like that. Just like lesbians can sterotypically be any aesthetic but nooo its only offensive when its the kind of lesbian that gets ZERO FUCKING MEDIA COVERAGE. HOW IS IT STEREOTYPICAL

Also fun fact, even if she was just stereotypical, some people fit into sterotypes lol!!!! (Angriest lesbian ever speaking rn. Oh how im being so offensive right now by being stereotypically angry and a fucking hater. I hate you. Fuck you) Youre weird if you think those Real people shouldnt get representation that fits them too. Sterotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Butch sporty lesbians exist for a fucking reason.

Lesbians can have comphet too but thats in the advanced class of supporting and giving a fuck about lesbians which you clearly dgaf about LOL. Cartoon logic makes everyone fall in love with justin. And lesbians Can recognize when a man is stereotypically hot. We have eyeballs. And justin is shown to be in universe like the hottest person in the world AND a model/celebrity of sorts. Do you think gay men that are obsessed with taylor swift or lady gaga are fake gays because they "like a woman" or are you holding lesbians to a double standard answer quick

Lesbians rise eva fans rise. Band together and FUCK anyone that says its problematic to headcanon a character as something because of "sterotypes" that arent even there. I give my angry hater lesbian blessing for anyone to headcanon eva as lesbian because lesbians are awesome and deserve to be allowed in media and fandom. Live laugh love lesbians

I need to know more about you anon. Whats your deal. Are you a lesbian. Are you over the age of 14. Did you decide you were the ceo of gayness after being around 0 irl lesbians and ESPECIALLY 0 irl butches. Go outside and talk to literally any lesbian that would give a fuck (will be impossible to find because literally 0 lesbians would give two shits btw)(lesbians would be excited that anyone cared about lesbians enough to think about them)

#total drama #td Eva #fandom takes

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fiveeggs · 4 months

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all evidence of wlw Beatrice and mlm Benedick (a much ado about nothing interpretation)

I have had a headcanon for a while that Beatrice and Benedick initially think they are gay before falling in love.

I'm rereading the play now, and have decided to compile every piece of evidence that supports this theory so far!

Read away under the cut!

ACT 1, SCENE 1

MESSENGER And a good soldier too, lady.

BEATRICE And a good soldier to a lady, but what is he to a lord?

Part of the headcanon is that they both know about each other’s queerness, and this comes up a lot in their dialogues. This is the first example, Beatrice makes a joke about his tendency to be as stiff and formal as a soldier when around ladies, and wonders what his (implied romantic) tendencies are around men.

BEATRICE It is so indeed. He is no less than a stuffed man, but for the stuffing—well, we are all mortal.

Quite crass but mortality could refer to the vices of passion that Benedick could be ‘succumbing to’.

BEATRICE …Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother.

One of the more obvious points of evidence. Historically, sexuality has been a lot more fluid in war/with men (eg: high status Roman men frequently engaged in physical queer relationships without condemnation), and Beatrice makes reference to this with her talk of the traditionally romantic ‘companion’ and the queer-coded term of ‘brother’.

BEATRICE …He wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block.

Another reference to Benedick’s tendencies in the army, also effeminising him by making reference to the fashion of hats.

BEATRICE …I pray you, who is his companion? Is there no young squarer now that will make a voyage with him to the devil?

When mlm relationships did exist in history, they often involved a noticeable age gap, something hinted at by Beatrice with her mention of the ‘young squarer’. The voyage to the devil could also be a reference to the condemnation of homosexuality at the time.

BENEDICK …for truly I love none (i.e. no women).

BEATRICE …I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me.

Again, rather obvious.

BENEDICK God keep your Ladyship still in that mind, so some gentleman or other shall ’scape a predestinate scratched face.

Up until this point, Beatrice and Benedick’s conversation can be read as slow paced or leisurely. However, after this line, Beatrice’s become consonant-filled and blunt (while still witty). It could be read that, in this line, Benedick reference’s Beatrice’s queerness too bluntly with the ‘or other’, which scares her. It was much less acceptable for women to be gay than men, after all.

PRINCE Thou [Benedick] wast ever an obstinate heretic, in the despite of beauty.

I’m still not entirely sure as to the extent of the other character’s knowledge when it comes to Beatrice and Benedick’s queerness, but this line supports the theory that the men know of Benedick’s. It is in reference to Benedick’s refusal to acknowledge Hero’s beauty, a heretic in that day referring heavily to one who refused to follow the tenets of the Church (eg: by being queer).

ACT 2, SCENE 1

BEATRICE Just, if He [God] send me no husband, for the which blessing I am at Him upon my knees every morning and evening.

Literally saying she thanks God on her knees that she does not have a husband.

BEATRICE No, but to the gate, and there will the devil meet me like an old cuckold with horns on his head, and say “Get you to heaven, Beatrice, get you to heaven; here’s no place for you maids.” So deliver I up my apes and away to Saint Peter; for the heavens, he shows me where the bachelors sit, and there live we as merry as the day is long.

Before this line, Beatrice sets a list of impossible standards for her future husband to meet, barring men from courtship with her, and then goes to Hell because of the condemnation of her queerness by the Church. However, the Devil sends her back up (because queerness is not actually a sin? I’m reading too far now lol), where she meets the bachelors. Keep in mind bachelors is a traditionally male word, but is gender neutral when defined in the dictionary.

BEATRICE (I will not marry) till God make men of some other metal than earth.

This one is a bit of a stretch, but I also love it. In Genesis, Adam is made from the Earth’s dust and clay by God. Some other metal could actually be bone, the rib that God uses from Adam to craft Eve.

BEATRICE For he [Benedick] both pleases men and angers them,

Again, an obvious innuendo on Beatrice’s part.

BENEDICK I would not marry her [Beatrice] though she were endowed with all that Adam had left him before he transgressed.

He is literally saying, ‘I would not marry her, even if she were a man’. Because he assumes he is gay, he is only interested in marrying a man, but his dislike of Beatrice is so strong that even if she were a man, he would not be interested.

LEONATO Niece, will you look to those things I told you of? (i.e. getting a husband)

BEATRICE I cry you mercy, uncle.—By your Grace’s pardon.

Less so evidence but more so funny. As soon as Leonato brings up husband hunting to Beatrice, she freaks and flips, leaving immediately.

ACT 2, SCENE 3

BENEDICK I will not be sworn but love may transform me to an oyster, but I’ll take my oath on it, till he have made an oyster of me, he shall never make me such a fool.

In this case, oyster refers to Plato’s writings, where he contrasted a life of passion (eating oysters) with a life of pursuing knowledge, finding the latter superior. In this, Benedick is most probably referring to Claudio with the ‘he’ pronoun, referencing the way the man has been led away from a loveless and ‘superior’ life by Hero. However, he could also be saying that only another man could make an oyster of him. .

That was a lot, and I’m only up to Act 2 Scene 5! I doubt there will be as much evidence now, because Beatrice and Benedick have realised their love for each other, but I may make a part two.

#much ado about nothing #william shakespeare #david tennant #catherine tate #my little bisexuals #shakespeare #anythings a rom com if you let it be a rom com

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lesbiangallagher · 5 months

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my great aunt passed recently ;—-;

my great aunt passed away and she lived to be 99, with only 2 months away from her 100th bday. also side note the way most everyone in my family lives til their 100s lmao. i know two ladies who passed away at 101. honestly it’s incredible to me. my mom’s side of the family is extremely women-driven, like i cannot name all of the cousins my mom has but i sure do know they all went to the same all girls school lol slay queens we out here

but yeah my great aunt was the best tbh. she was always so incredibly kind to me even when my parents would drag me to spend 10 hours at my cousins’ house when i clearly did not want to be there and even when i was obviously weird and emo, she always said i was so beautiful and smart and if there was anyone who prayed, it was her. she always prayed for me, she would tell me lol i would hold hands with her as she told me stories about my mom when she was younger and it always humanized my mom in a way that i was like “omg my mom and i are extremely alike and idk what to do with that information but lash out more” but my great aunt was always so patient and listened to me too. she was just that person who loved everyone in a room, like kind of no matter what. my older cousin and i are the only two out gay people in this branch of the family and he’s feeling it. even my sister is feeling it too! and my sister is a tough nut to crack but she was always so endeared by her and she was, again, SO kind. in a room full of judgmental catholic ladies, my great aunt was always the nice catholic lady lol she would give everyone and i mean EVERYONE in the room a blessing before they left to go home. she would literally spend 1 hour giving everyone blessings as they leave and i still remember what she used to say because it was the same thing every time. i wrote it down in my notes and i will not share it because im crying as im typing this and i should take my corny ass home. yes im on my period again

and she would hold your hand while saying it and do the sign on the cross on you too. her hands were always very soft

damn i haven’t felt this hit by a a family member passing in a while. maybe it’s my period or the state of the world and maybe it’s this other unrelated awful piece of news that hit the community round my parts hard or overall just exhaustion from being mentally ill.

it’s hard not to wallow but i have to keep it moving. i recognize that i can still process many emotions at once and i know that i’m resilient, time and time again. i have a good support system that knows me and cares for me and i have to keep it moving. i help kids on a daily basis and they count on me to keep it moving. we out here y’all it’s that time of year where everything kind of turns into a blur for adults lol but i think we will make it out just fine…grieving can exist at the same time as being thankful and happy while i’m doing my thing…

oof yeah idk that turned into a lot but i’m glad i got the words out there. i felt them jumbling in my head all morning but i feel so much better now. might delete might not but whatever. i love you tumblr diary 🤍

#grief and reflecting and a hefty spoonful of word salad #tbd

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evermetnotforgotten · 11 months

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Set in the far future.

In many ways, Graham's relationship with his parents was quite simple. Firstly, be kicked out at sixteen because you were a delinquent little shithead who was well on the path to either being shot up on a street corner, or thrown in prison for being the one doing the shooting. Spend twenty-odd years in the wind. Then call dear old mum and dad up on a whim one day asking whether they're free for a coffee and a slice of cake—their choice, your shout.

They’d picked the key lime pie.

Most of their questions, surprisingly, had been in line with that of a normal suburban family. Less about his decades-long absence—the lie about getting out and into a job driving diplomats around seemed to inspire the desired amount of polite disinterest—and much, much more about ‘wait, you're telling us our long lost son is now married to a man?’ In their first few reconnecting dinners Graham had already located and defused the bomb of ‘we'd actually hoped and dreamed of our only son telling us he was only a gay teen instead of in a teenage gang,’ and done similar to the IED of ‘good thing we've changed churches since you were little or blessed Father Derrick would have simply had a stroke between the pews’—along with the total landmine, dear Lord in heaven the nuclear fucking blast of ‘but so… if you're married, doesn't that mean you're Gay now?’

But they were willing, and forthcoming. And surprisingly relaxed about his sudden reappearance in their lives.

All that had been left was for them to finally meet him—his sweet and kind husband, the infamous Lev. Which, apparently, called for dinner at Pete and Cressida's spacious suburban home.

"Topoff, my boy?" A question from Pete to Lev that Graham only moderately tenses up at, for more than one reason. Would rather not have to explain them all.

"Do you have any more of that sparkling, actually?"

"For you? Course we do. Would you pass the apple juice, hun?”

The first impression had nearly ended in disaster. Trust his old man and lady to blow through his first two cardinal requests immediately—he'd been firm to the point of militant on the topic of touching Lev without asking first, then witnessed in horror as his mother completely lost her mind and initiated a crushing hug. Then was the wine, though on that Lev had reassured they were in the green. Couldn’t drink on the meds anyway.

Now, outside overlooking the garden, wooden bannister flickering with light from the ceramic potted citronella candles, the wine flowing and barbecue cooling… things were actually starting to feel good. Calm. He's not checking his watch every minute, and his husband seems to be at relative ease while keeping deft pace with the conversation. Lev presses the kitchen knife down past the crust of the chocolate tart he’d insisted on bringing, listening to Cressida explain of the accreditation process of an arts therapist.

As the conversation dwindles, his mother twists her blond hair at the back of her head and spears it with a pin. The look brewing on her face is one of an imminent interrogation, but Graham recognises it far too late to cut her off at the pass.

"So you're… gay, Lev? Is that right, is that what you prefer?"

"Ma," Graham scowls, warning low and short.

Just as Cressida's eyes flash with equal challenge, gearing up to meet her son’s protest with one of her own, Lev responds with an easy smile, a raised hand. "It's okay—I'm actually bisexual."

"Oh! So you're the same then. That must keep things simple."

Peter, whose cheeks are drawing closer to the tint of his chequered shirt with each fresh glass of wine, chimes in. "So you've been with both. Women, men… lucky guy, lucky guy…"

“Christ. Dad…”

"Yes, that is what the ‘bi’ part means, Pete. Oh, I know the loveliest lesbian couple whose daughter is a bisexual. Can you imagine that? All that diversity under the one roof."

Though Graham wants so, so badly to cup his hands over his face and screech into the miniature void there forever, Lev’s chime of a laugh rings above the abject horror roiling in his gut. “We do tend to flock, I’ll give you that.”

Seeming impressed with the response, Peter reaches for the bottle on the table and sets about refilling glasses again, even though most are still half-full. Graham reaches across to steady his mother's glass as the red comes dangerously close to sloshing up and over the other side. One of two teeny little dogs—rat-sized morsels that Daisy would have eaten for breakfast and barfed up before lunch—scurries around to their side of the table, interpreting the sudden movement as a potential signal of pending table scraps.

"Well," Peter says, "our son must have done at least one thing right in his life to have won you over. It's all a downright comfort, if you ask us. Isn't it, honey?"

He doesn't know quite why that's the part, out of everything, that gets him. Something slimy and misshapen rears its head within Graham’s chest, writhing through the holes of his ribcage where it's installed itself into the gaps and expanded like some sort of horrible, living caulk. He's done fuck all to deserve a man as good as Lev, right hand to God. Still feels as though he's long-conning him into staying, most days. But when his partner responds by taking Graham's hand under the table, giving a reassuring squeeze, the dial of all that noise is turned down low. The domesticity just a little less cloying.

"I feel lucky to have him, actually." A wink only meant for him. “He’s put up with me so far.”

"Ha! Just wait until you've been together forty years and he's still leaving dishes by the sink—"

"Or when it becomes impossible to go to on a fifteen minute shopping trip that doesn't turn into a forty-five minute catch-up with a playgroup friend—"

"I'm really glad that you two haven't changed. Just so glad.” Though Graham says it in exasperation, the fondness is hard to ignore. He brings his husband’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it.

"So Lev, Graham tells us you're working on a coffee table, is that right?"

“So… verdict?” He’s almost scared to ask, but needs to know his partner is okay after… all that.

"They're nice! Really nice.”

“But…?”

A sigh from the passenger seat. “But it was… difficult. I guess."

Graham winces, blows air out through his cheeks. Should have known it would always be a little bit trial-by-fire. "Yeah, sorry. Thought they'd gotten all of the, uh, sexuality talk out of their system. Apparently not.”

Lev turns, giving him a curious look. "Oh, no, not that part. That was fine. Though I'm really glad they didn't want more details than they did," and a laugh tinged with the specific kind of glee of knowing exactly how terribly that could have gone. "I just… it's hard when I don't like how they treated you."

Graham frowns. He hadn't noticed anything out of the ordinary in the course of the evening. "What do you mean?"

"Throwing your sixteen year old kid out of the house when he's clearly in it deep, and cutting off all contact." Lev shakes his head, looking out the windscreen at the blur of pines whizzing past. “Your dad said they were praying for you to come back… but how would they have known if you’d needed to?”

Graham hears his old man’s farewell of the night. Don’t be a stranger, hey kiddo? We’ve missed you. “I… used to rob 7-Elevens with that crew. In gorilla masks.”

Not a beat missed. “We’ve all been sixteen.”

Spotting a tiny smile out of the corner of his eye at his own bark of a laugh, Graham reaches over the handbrake to place his hand on Lev’s thigh. As always, it’s covered by a smaller, warmer one.

Now just as ever, Graham feels like he could be in awe of the indestructible core of his partner until the day that he dies. Though Lev would be the first to deny and the last to admit it, there's a grain of diamond at the very centre of him.

Behind a fortress or surrounded by ash and rubble—it's still beautiful. Still incredible.

“I’d still… like to stay in touch with them.” Graham clears his throat. “If that’s alright. You wouldn’t have to come, though, if you don't want to.”

“Ah, wasn’t at all saying that we shouldn’t.” A gentle apology squeeze. “Would really love to go to that gallery.”

“Doesn’t have to be any time soon.”

“‘Course. But I want to. Let’s do it.”

#lgm writing #lev johnson #graham piece #alcohol tw

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mirkwoodshewolf · 8 months

Text

IATCOD Chap. 26; Loss

*Author's note*

Not much to say here except for what was on the last chapter's author's note but I will say you need to get them tissues ready because the ending of this chapter might shed some tears. Enjoy my lovelies :)

NEXT CHAPTER

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things

@waddles03

@psychosupernatural

@queen-paladin

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@gay-and-ready-to-cry

@thats-s0-ravenn

_________________________________________________________

After the rubble of marble and stone began to cease, I let out a series of coughs but shakily raised my upperbody and called out to Haldir.

“Ha-Haldir? Where are you?”

“Hela?” I heard him softly groan in pain.

“Don’t try to move. I—I’ll come to you.” I dragged myself across the fallen rocks until I caught sight of his white-silvery hair amongst the dust and green smoke. When I finally came to him, I put my cloak back over him before we embraced each other exhaustedly and I whispered to him. “You okay?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“You’re bleeding.” I said stroking the side of his face to see his forehead had been cut.

“What of you? You look worse.”

“Are you saying a bit of bruising and scarring makes me unappealing?”

“Your sense of humor never ceases to come out at the strangest of times.” I laughed softly before pressing my forehead to his.

“I am so sorry Haldir.”

“For what?”

“I tried to prevent something like this from happening. I thought by severing my ties to you, you’d be spared from people like them. But even that didn’t stop them from targeting you.”

“I will always be a scapegoat to be used against you.”

“But you shouldn’t….”

“Hela please listen to me. If it were the other way around, what would you say?” he looked deep into my eyes as his hand cupped each side of my face.

“I would tell you I wouldn’t care. For my love for you is stronger than any of the Dwarves forges, more powerful than any storm nature can muster, and that not even the dark power of Sauron will make me surrender yourself to them.”

“I knew what I was getting into from the day I first began to have feelings for you. Even with the limited time we had and decades between visits, my love for you never once faltered. It only grew. Only when I thought I had lost you on your last Deviant battle could I not bear to live in this world without you. Especially without you knowing my true feelings for you.”

“It was your love that brought me back. You saved me that day Haldir.” I said reaching up and stroked his cheek. I felt him nuzzle into my palm as he told me again, his eyes boring into mine.

“Now that I know the full reason for you wanting to break us apart, my only regret is that I wish you had talked to me about it first.”

“Mine too. I wanted to tell you, but—I couldn’t……I couldn’t look at you without seeing what Sauron had done to you. I couldn’t bear to hear you speak without hearing your agonizing screams mixed in. Each kiss be replaced by each slow beat of your heart until it beat it’s last. And your eyes…..” I cupped his face as my lips trembled and tears formed in my eyes. “The light in them which made my heart skip, slowly fade until there was nothing but hollowness left.”

“I am here. I am right here, as are you.” I nodded as he pressed his forehead to mine. “I see you, my beloved starlight.” I smiled as a tear fell down my face.

“And I see you, nin meleth.” My vision soon started to go blurry and my body suddenly felt heavy.

“Hela?” my head soon fell from his forehead to his shoulder as my body fell forward and Haldir held me in his arms before collapsing onto his back. “Hela? Hela what is it?”

“Just…..need to catch my breath. Hadn’t…..been this beaten up since…Bolg.”

“Okay. Okay we’ll….we’ll catch our breath, and then we’ll get out of this fell place, okay?” I nodded as I felt him reach for my cloak.

“No, no keep it. Keep it on.” He turned to me and I looked up at him through my tired eyes. “It’ll—it’ll protect you. Blessed by the Lady Nienna.” I felt his hand stroke down my hair while his other one grasped my hand tightly, his thumb stroking up and down my knuckles. “Nin meleth, why are you crying?”

*Haldir’s POV*

When she asked me why I was crying, I didn’t know what she meant until I saw her face. Her nose was slowly leaking out blood as were her eyes. My heart raced as the life in her eyes was starting to grow dark.

“Are you okay?” I heard her whisper.

“I’m fine. And you’re okay too, we’re both okay. I’m going to look after you meleth nin.” She softly smiled.

“Keep…..the cloak close.” I nodded.

“I’m right here. I’m right here starlight.” Her breathing began to soften. She said keep it on, but she didn’t say we both couldn’t share it. I unhooked it and pulled half of it off as well as lifted up the end of it and tried to cover her with the end of it by folding it over her while I put the hood over my head.

Suddenly I began to feel exhausted. Whatever this green mist was, it was suddenly starting to take its effect on me. But I buried my face into Hela’s neck and whispered as I held her close as the two of us shared her cloak.

“We’ll be okay. We’ll—be……” my eyes felt heavy and soon my world and senses went black.

*Cain’s POV*

The Siege of Gondor was over, but at what cost? Rohan lost not only half of their soldiers but their king as well. Théoden’s last words to me still rang in my ear.

Not only that but there was also that strange explosion that came from Minas Morgul. I was told that what now kept to the air was a sickly green mist that seemed to linger in that area.

“Mr. Cain?” I turned in the general direction and heard the familiar heartbeat of Pippin.

“Pippin.” He raced up to me and as I knelt down, I felt him tackle me in an embrace. “Hela was not lying about how tightly you Hobbits like to embrace.” I couldn’t help but tease.

“Sorry.” He said releasing me.

“Hey don’t worry. My youngest son was a tight hugger. It just means you have a lot of love to give.” I ruffled his hair before I sensed his heartbeat flex in sadness. “What is it Pip?”

“Merry’s cloak. But it wasn’t on him. I—I fear he might be dead. There’s so many bodies on the field I don’t know where to start!”

“Lucky for you, you found me. I’ll help you Pippin.”

“You will?” I gave him a firm nod as I held out my hand and he placed Merry’s cloak into my hands. I lifted it up and gave it a deep inhale. “The scent is strong and the cloak still feels warm to the touch. Couldn’t be no more than an hour or so since he lost it. Take me where you found it and we’ll start from there.”

We stood up and he took my other hand and guided me through the Pelennor fields. Carefully I stepped over any corpse of men, orcs and even dead horses until we stopped.

“It was right here.” Pippin told me. I knelt down and felt the earth but what was troubling was there wasn’t a hobbit-sized dent in the earth. My hands scanned as far as they could reach and I didn’t feel any hobbit-sized feet either (and Hela’s description of them are quite clear and distinct that I don’t even need to feel a hobbit-sized footprint).

“This is troubling.”

“What do you mean?”

“This was just his cloak. I can smell that this is where his cloak’s been, but there’s no sign of Merry either leaving or having been in this area of the fields.”

“Then….then is he…..He can’t be—” I could taste salt in the air from Pippin’s oncoming tears. Poor lad, not even I need to see just how much Pippin and Merry cared for each other. Remembering their departure from Rohan proved that much (and having checked in on them for Hela seeing just how much they were always together and needed each other).

“Hey,” I reached out and wiped a tear from his cheek. “Don’t lose hope Pippin, we’re going to find him. One way or another.” I felt him nod.

“I already lost Frodo and Sam, this is the longest I’ve ever been away from Merry. Had I not looked into that dark orb I……”

“Wouldn’t have told us where Sauron or his forces would strike next. With Denethor’s madness, he would’ve allowed the White city to burn to the ground. The capital of Men taken under Sauron’s name. And we would all have perished. Curiosity will kill the cat, but there is that rare case where it’s curiosity will allow them to see something inevitable. And you Pip, you were that case. You saved Gondor by lighting the Beacons and calling us here. You saved Faramir from being burned alive.”

“I did what Hela would’ve done.”

“And she is just as proud of you as I am.” Once again I ruffled his hair. “Now come, we have a lot of ground to cover, we best get started.” I stood up and held my hand out for him to take. I felt his hand in mine and together we walked across the Pelennor fields to track down Merry.

It was nightfall and still there was no sign of Merry anywhere. Pippin constantly cried out for him while I hoped to hear any signs of his heartbeat or even a whiff of his scent.

“Merry! Merry!” Pippin cried out as we stood by a corpse of an Erumpent when my ears picked up a very faint heartbeat. It was like hearing the faint sound of a butterfly’s wings but it was still there.

“Pippin.” He looked up at me before I heard his heartrate pick up as I heard him race ahead. I heard him grunt as he moved a corpse and I came beside Pippin.

“Merry? Merry it’s us. It’s Pippin and Mr. Cain.”

“I knew you’d find me.” Merry’s croaked out weakly. Much like Hela when I first met her, a dark cloud had surrounded his very aura. Not only was his body marked by something foul but it was like his very spirit was grinded up before being spat back out.

“Yes.” Pippin assured him.

“Someone has to look after you in my sister’s stand.” I teased as I stroked his cheek.

“Are you both going to leave me?” Merry asked us.

“No Merry.” Pippin assured him strongly. “We’re going to look after you.” As Pippin covered Merry with his cloak to keep him warm from the cold breeze, I moved my arm to sense where the main source of his injury was from.

His right arm emanated a strong aura of darkness and despair the like of which that not even Sauron could muster. Only a rare few times had I seen something like this. During my exile before I settled in Harad, there was a case where I came across a kingdom in the North during the Angmar wars with the Witch King.

People talked about how he created an aura so dark and terrifying, that just standing within a few feet of him makes even the bravest Man flee in fear. And it’s not just the Witch King, all nine Wraiths had been equipped with a power that some call “The Black breath”.

A fell technique that not only paralyzes their victims, but can also cause a darkness to spread throughout their bodies and if left untreated in some cases there are those who died. I remember back in Harad I had help a young girl who had gotten too curious and came face to face with one of the Nine. I drove the Wraith away but the child would’ve died of fright had I not helped her.

“Just as I feared. You’ve been infected with the Black breath Merry.”

“Just like what happened to Hela.” What? Pippin you are going to tell me more about that later.

“Fortunately curing the Black breath is easy but I do not have enough Athelas to do it. We need to get you to the House of Healing so that Aragorn can help you.” I picked Merry up into my arms and adjusted Pippin’s cloak so that it still covered his body which was cold to the touch.

Pippin and I raced back to the city and found Aragorn and I told him what happened to Merry. Having told me that the Lady Éowyn had the same wound to her after killing the Witch King herself with Merry’s help, Aragorn and I worked to heal Merry of his physical and spiritual wound.

“So the prophecy has been fulfilled.” I couldn’t help but say as I burned some incense for Éowyn’s spiritual healing.

“Prophecy?” her brother asked me.

“Long ago when the Witch King first came into power and began wars in the North, it was said that no living Man could kill him. After many, many long years of war; one Prince, who would soon to become the future and last King of Gondor, defeated Angmar and in his retreat tried to go after him but Glorfindel told him ‘Do not pursue him! He will not return to these lands. Far off yet is his doom, and not by the hand of man shall he fall.’” I placed my hand over Éowyn’s marked arm and I could hear Éomer’s heart pick up.

“My little sister…..”

“She was the one Prophesied by one of the Greatest Elves Middle Earth has ever known. And she did it not for glory or conquest, but to save your uncle. Even when she was afraid she stood firm and completed the prophecy by ridding of the third most dangerous being of Middle Earth after Sauron and his master Morgoth.” Éomer was silent for a while until he finally spoke up.

“After our parents died, I couldn’t bear to lose my sister. I knew I had to step up and protect her from everything that could harm her. Guess I must have sheltered her too much.”

“We big brothers tend to do that to our little sisters. But we must also learn that the world is changing. Our sisters may defend their own honors but that doesn’t mean they still won’t need us.” I reached forward and found his shoulder and gripped it assuringly. “And she’s going to need you now more than ever to heal her spirit.” He nodded and I told him, “If her improvement drops, seek me out.”

“Thank you Lord Cain. I owe you and Lord Aragorn everything for helping my sister.”

“No thanks are needed. I only wish for her to get better. And find warmth in the sun once again.” I knew of Éowyn’s darkened mind and how this war has affected her. I hope that once this was all over, she will find happiness.

After leaving Éowyn in the care of her brother, I returned to Merry and Pippin to see Pippin right where I had left him. Sitting right by Merry’s bedside while Merry was resting and recovering from his wounds.

“How’s he doing?”

“He finally was able to sleep. Kept waking up in cold fits about the Witch King.”

“First few days won’t be easy, especially when he sleeps. But at least he’s trying to rest now. I’ll take that as a victory.” I reached out and stroked a strand of Merry’s hair away from his forehead and allowed my finger to stroked down his face. “Pippin I must ask you. Have you seen Hela since the battle calmed down? I’ve looked everywhere but I cannot sense her.”

“She’s not back yet?” he asked me worriedly.

“Back? Back from where?”

“Yesterday before you all arrived, Hela had found out that Haldir was taken to Minas Morgul by order of Denethor’s council. Hela was enraged so badly that she had the whole city shaking. I’ve never seen her that angry before.”

“These council members, what did they look like?”

“There were three of them. Two older men but the third was a younger man. Had a fair face too but his eyes, in fact all of their eyes……it made me afraid to look them in the eye. Something was off about them.”

“Off? What do you mean?”

“I—can’t really explain it. All I felt was fear when I was around them. I’m sorry Mr. Cain I wish I could explain it more.” His heartbeat was even so he wasn’t hiding anything from me.

“It’s okay Pippin. I understand. After everything you’ve seen, I don’t blame you. Do you—happen to know what they called themselves?”

“Yeah. Faramir said their names were Deimos, Nergal and Perses. He would know more about them than I would. But I know one of the elder ones was always by Denethor, whispering in his ear or speaking for him at times. Again, Faramir would know more than I would.”

“Thank you Pippin. Make sure you also get some sleep too.” He nodded then I left once again to find Denethor’s youngest son, Faramir.

As I walked through the Gondorian corridors I soon came to what smelled like the old gardens where I picked up Faramir’s heartbeat. It was steadily getting stronger after his suicide attacks planned by his father at Osgiliath but there was also a skip to it, a skip I knew all too well.

“Staring at a beautiful star?” I asked him. He jumped as his heart raced a bit before slowing back down and his body relaxed.

“How—but you’re blind?”

“I may be blind but I know when to recognize how a man’s heart beats when he sees a beautiful woman.” Thinking back to my Yvaine at our first meeting.

“I did not mean to stare. But in all my days she is the first fairest thing I have seen that could almost resemble the sun.” I smiled and told him as I came closer to him.

“I know the feeling. When I first met my wife, I thought the Valar had gifted me a star in human form.”

“She must’ve been beautiful.”

“Aye. She was.” I said somberly. His heart skipped in sympathy.

“I—I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…..”

“It’s okay. She died a long, long, long time ago.”

“How long?”

“Nearly 2 Ages past. Along with our children, taken at the same time at the fall of Gondolin.”

“Gondolin? But—you are no elf. Yet you appear to be a Man. You cannot be a Dúnedain. Not one of us has lived more than a few hundred years.”

“You are correct. I am neither Elf nor Man blessed with long life. You remember getting acquainted with my sister Hela during her stay here.”

“You are a Celestial?” I nodded. “But they—I thought Hela was the only one after they had been turned to stone?”

“They have. I was exiled by my kin. Long story that I’ll share later. But just know that even though I am exiled, I am no servant nor spy for the enemy.”

“I believe you. Normally anyone who is unknown I can sense a trace of wickedness or darkness in their hearts but you—you may be of fair face but you hold no ill intentions.”

“Fair face?” I chuckled. “Between my brother Ikaris and I he always seemed to get more of the ladies attention than I ever did. At least it’s good to know I don’t have an orc face after I lost my sight.”

“I don’t mean to offend…..”

“None at all Faramir. In fact the only other person to have brought me joy since my exile was my sister. Thank you.” I held out my hand and I felt him take it as we shook hands. “And I am afraid to suddenly change our conversation to one that is in most dire circumstance.”

“What is it?”

“Pippin, the young halfling who saved your life and whom I assume you’ve grown to be fond of.”

“Yes. The halfling has given me something I never thought I would have again. He’s brought joy back into my life.” I nodded.

“He told me of the three men your father sought council with. I need you to tell me more about them.” His heartbeat went faster not out of fear, but anger.

“If I had it my way, they would’ve been banished from Gondor long before they stepped foot here.” He spoke in a soft sneer.

“What can you tell me about them?”

“Perhaps we should speak alongside Lord Aragorn and the rest of your party. You’ll all want to know of them.” I nodded and held my arm out and he guided me through the corridors while I called forth Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf to meet with us.

We gathered in the library as I heard Faramir go through some of the old records as he spoke to us.

“I was so young when they first came to our city but Boromir told me for he remembered well. It was shortly after our mother fell sick, a fortnight after father had banished Hela for not being able to heal her. They just…..appeared standing side by side of each other. Each one of them dressed in dark cloaks much like the Wraiths.”

He set the record folder down and Aragorn said.

“These are them?”

“Drawings they had ordered to be drawn.” Faramir replied. How strange of a request.

“Who exactly are these men?” asked Gandalf.

“The youngest one of them is called Deimos. He commands Gondor’s armies as well as trained the Rangers of Ithilien. But Deimos is a tyrant. It was almost like he craved for a fight, trained all of us to show no mercy to anyone or anything. Not even each other. When I was pulled up the ranks as Captain, did I stand and order for him that it would best be wise that the Rangers do what we feel is best to protect our borders instead of killing each other.”

“Not just a lust for war. He lusts for bloodshed.” Gandalf spoke.

“This one here, he calls himself Nergal. When they first arrived, he alone claimed he could cure my mother’s illness but his only solution was to……” Faramir trailed off as I heard his heart split brokenly. “For someone who claims to be a healer, I have seen more men die under his care than they do of their own wounds.”

“Was your father not aware of this?” asked Aragorn.

“He never knew, all because of him.” He said pointing to the last remaining man on the picture. “Perses. He’s the one who’s been my father’s advisor since they came. Looming over him like a dark shadow, whispering false promises and conquests in his ear. It was almost like anything that came out of his forked tongue, he could make my father believe it was the only way. Boromir never trusted them and neither did I. But our father…..he never believed us.”

“The explosion that happened at Minas Morgul, could that have been from them?” I asked.

“It wouldn’t surprise me. They study the Dark Arts, claiming to have been taught by a dark master. But this is unlike any dark magic I’ve seen before. Not even you Gandalf could do the things I’ve seen them do.”

“Tell me more about this Dark Master they serve Faramir?” Gandalf asked him.

“Unfortunately I cannot. They don’t even speak his name.” Gandalf grumbled.

“If Hela and Haldir are up there, we must go after them.” Said Legolas.

“We cannot I’m afraid. The green smoke we saw explode from the mountain is a poisonous fume that will kill anyone who goes near it. I’m afraid we have no choice but to wait and hope that Hela and Haldir make it back themselves.” Gandalf said.

“But Gandalf, to stay behind and do nothing to help them. What if they are in grave danger?” asked Aragorn.

“Hela is stronger than she’s ever been before. All thanks to her brother and the help of her chosen Valar who helped create her, these so called Dark mages are on no level of what we Wizards of the Maiar are. She’ll return to us, they both will.”

Even with Gandalf’s words, something still didn’t sit right with me.

*3rd Person POV*

The next morning in the throne room everyone was gathered around, Cain pacing back and forth anxiously as he said to everyone present.

“I’ve tried all night but I still cannot sense Hela’s or Haldir’s spirit anywhere. Not even their heartbeats.”

“If Hela or Haldir were dead, we would know of it.” Aragorn, who was looking ahead of the door with his arms crossed, tried to keep hope that his sister and elven-friend were alive.

“It’s been an entire day, surely by now we could send a squadron of whose left to come with us to retrieve Lady Hela and that Marchwarden of hers.” Gimli said having been told of Hela and Haldir’s absence when he awoke.

“No Gimli. As we’ve told you anyone who dares enter that fell place will be poisoned by the spell that still lingers there. Not to mention the very dark aura that Minas Morgul already breathes.” Gandalf told him. The doors suddenly burst open and there stood Perses. A malicious grin upon his face as he mocked.

“Indeed you are right Mithrandir.” He then walked through the throne room, almost as if he had claimed this kingdom his but he was stopped midway by Faramir’s cries.

“Get out!” Perses paused in his step but not once did he lose the grin nor the taunting look in his eyes as he turned to the former Steward’s youngest son. “You have no power anymore here Perses. My father can’t protect you nor your brothers anymore!”

“Like we really needed his protection. He was nothing but a pawn to our little game, and now that he served his purpose, well—how does it feel to be the last of your family bloodline?” Faramir’s heart broke at the old man’s statement but as soon as he felt the comfort of Éowyn’s hand in his, his spirit mended.

“Why have you come here?” demanded Aragorn.

“I will not speak with anyone but the most powerful beings in this room.”

“So long as you come into this kingdom, you will answer to me. I am Isildur’s heir, and what you have to say to Gandalf you can say to me.” Aragorn challenged. Perses’ brow raised as his grin widened.

“Seems I underestimated you, very well.” Gandalf then stepped forward to Aragorn then Perses’ eyes turned to Cain. He could sense the dark mage’s gaze upon him and he asked.

“Why me? I am no wizard nor king…..”

“Don’t you dare try and pull that same spiel you gave to Hela on your first meeting. We know exactly who you are, our Master knows he didn’t finish all the Celestials. The first Starlight born wasn’t Ikaris, it was you, Cain the Wrathful.”

Cain’s eyes narrowed as his demeanor changed as he stood taller and walked over to him, staring Perses face to face.

“Speaking that full name was my cursed name. And no longer will you address me to that. Especially a cowardly dark wizard.” Perses spoke not another word but turned away and proceeded out the door with the three men following him.

They walked out of the courtyard around the spot where the White tree once stood but had been burnt during the siege on the city. As they walked along, Perses said.

“Men of great power can do great things. Men of your power can do even more.”

“That power can also be abused. And rulers and deities who abuse their power become monsters. Demons who walk amongst their fellow Man and pluck at them one by one like a wolf among sheep.” Gandalf said.

“And those who are too weak to take it end up forgotten, beaten and torn apart. That’s what Hela failed to see.”

“My little sister knew better what her powers could do for Middle Earth. She would rather suffer unspeakable torture and even death itself than succumb to evil!” Cain sneered.

“But you didn’t. That’s why the Balrog was sent to that area of the Mountain.” At hearing that confession, something in Cain snapped.

“What did you just say?” Perses stopped at the edge of the city and turned to Cain, taunting him.

“Why do you think your family exiled you? Calling you by a cursed name? You weren’t like the rest of your kin. Deep down inside there was a fire boiling inside of you that just needed that little push. And my master saw to that. Had Hela not gotten to you first, had we known she would know of your existence, we would’ve found you Cain. Promised you the vengeance your craved. The bloodlust you desired. All because your brother Ikaris was too weak to let you die. Forcing you to live while your wife and children died before your very eyes. And that being the very last thing you would ever see again.”

Cain’s breathing deepened with every word Perses’ spoke, his fists clenched, shaking with rage at the mention of his wife and triplets. He took a step forward but Aragorn stopped him and whispered.

“He’s baiting you Cain. You unleash your wrath, he will fall. Proving you still harbor the hatred you carried for so long. A hatred that was quenched when Hela came to you. She would not want you to see you fall after all that you’ve done to heal yourself.”

“Hela will no longer care what you do. She won’t care what any of you will do now.”

“What do you mean?” asked Gandalf. Perses eyes glanced down at the lower corner of the tower before he turned his attention back to them. At that moment, Nergal and Deimos flew over them holding a limp body in each of their grasps.

They tossed the bodies towards Aragorn, Gandalf and Cain like they were nothing but trash. And as the bodies skid across the stone, they were horrified to see that it was both Haldir and Hela. Both of their eyes were opened but devoid of any life.

“No.” Aragorn muttered as he, Gandalf and Cain raced towards them. They gently turned them on their backs as Gandalf placed a hand on each of their foreheads and began muttering a healing spell.

“Heed our words!” Deimos proclaimed. “In three days’ time, the Deviants will return to Middle Earth. Surrender yourselves to Sauron and reveal the location of his One Ring. Or you along with the rest of Middle Earth will be swallowed by ash and stone!”

While Gandalf tried to use magic to awaken them, both Cain and Aragorn tried to use any physical means to get them to breathe. Cain told Aragorn to take the end of his palms and press them down as hard as he could on Haldir’s chest four times while he would do the same to Hela.

“Miss Hela?” Pippin’s voice soon called out. Aragorn turned and ordered.

“Keep him back!” just as Pippin was racing towards them, Gimli and Faramir held the young hobbit back who began screaming out Hela’s name mournfully. Legolas quickly raced over and stood by Aragorn with some smelling salts provided by Cain to help rouse them awake. He first gently waved one under Haldir’s nose for a couple of seconds but when he didn’t awaken, he moved over to Hela and did the same. Back and forth so that way they’d both get an equal treatment of smelling salts.

“She spared the rod, and they perished together.” Perses said. Cain turned and glared at the three mages as Perses pointed at him and told him, “You are the Last Celestial of Middle Earth now.” Perses then levitated into the air alongside his brothers. Each of them taking in the despair of Pippin’s screams and the desperation of the others trying to save the lovers before the three of them took off back towards Minas Morgul.

As Pippin kept flailing and screaming out for Hela, Cain, Aragorn and Gandalf kept trying to revive them in any way they could.

“C’mon little sister.” Cain muttered as he kept pressing down on her chest again and again trying to get her to breathe.

It was an intense moment through Pippin’s agonizing and mournful cries of Hela’s name. Everyone else in Gondor began to gather as they heard the commotion going on outside were horrified and waited on baited breath. Until one of them took that faithful deep inhale of air.

However it was Haldir who took that breath.

He let out a series of coughs, as he was turned to his side by both Aragorn and Legolas. Legolas assured him in Elvish to breathe slowly and deeply.

“Hela? Where’s—” Haldir soon heard Pippin’s cries and when he saw his beloved Hela he tried to go to her but he was held back by Aragon and Legolas. “No. No. No, no, no please! Please don’t—she can’t die! She must live please save her! Valar above don’t take her away from me!!” Haldir soon began to plead.

But nothing was working.

Gandalf used all of his magic to heal Hela, Cain stopped his resuscitation to see if there was any chance that her heart was at least beating. He placed his ear over her heart and shook his head desperately. He proceeded to try his resuscitation again this time harder and frantically while Gandalf ceased knowing the truth.

“Please. Hela! Hela wake up!” Cain began to sob before he wept to her in their Celestial tongue. “Wake up little sister!”

“Your sister has joined with the rest of your fallen kin.” Gandalf said back to him in Celeste as he placed a comforting hand on Cain’s shoulder. Cain soon wept as he fell onto his rear and tears poured down his face and choked sobs came pass his hands which covered his mouth.

Everyone around bowed their heads in respect but it was Hela’s friends who were the most affected. Not a single one of them had a dry eye as they wept for the loss of a beloved friend, teacher, sister, a future wife, and mother figure.

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sowthetide · 1 month

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I saw the words If, Joffrey and Girl, in your previous ask and immidietly thought of And bless the daughter but fuck the family by dwellingondreams on ao32 that I read recently. And it was CRAZY GOOD??! The Joanna-Cersei interactions goes so hard. Especially with the whole younger more beautiful queen thing taking all she holds dear thing I just know internally Cersei’s probaly like ‘That’s Oomf but I low-key hate her 😭😭’

And I have yet to find a good genderbend Jon fic myself 1) Most of them are not my taste writing wise and 2) Those that I think ARE well written have Jon like you said act like a feisty she-dragon-wolf hot maiden who is hot or she’s just an object of desires for the men around her and by around her I mean any living man in Planetos ( i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ???? Then I continued reading of course ) And I have nothing against exploring incest in fiction ESPECIALLY in asoiaf like bear found on bear island…. But the girl!Jon/Robb thing doesn’t really hit because I think gay incest will always be better than straight incest,,,,Exemples : Aegon and Orys. Aenys and Maegor. Aemon and Baelon. Rhaena and Baela. The maiden vault girlies during the later years #keepingitlegal. Aemon The Dragonknight and Aeg-[GUNSHOT]. Umm what was i talking about again??

I totally agree that for a genderbend to stick the character should still have at least trace of what their original gender counterpart has like why is Fem!Jon not sulking , throwing little tantrums, being conflicted and feeling guilty every waking hour of the day :( like please make her a little bit emo please please please-

For ME! for a genderbend story to HIT, the character getting bended must have a 1) An Interesting and Very Fucked connection to BOTH parents that the gender thing can only worsen and 2) Also a Also Very Fucked Not Good Kinda Bad What’s Wrong With You relation to their gender and patriarchal norms in Westeros. Again, it’s asoiaf so it doesn’t really narrow it down that much( Mommy/ Daddy issues + not seeing women as people? That’s every bitch like ??) but I’m going on the basis that u understand my vision of like : Jon = decent/good. Theon,Joffrey,Maegor = GO CRAZY GO STUPID€/&/@1@

(Also genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐)

Just read "And bless the daughter but fuck the family" and uhhh... 😵‍💫 Okay okay okay. Perfectly insane genderbend. Give it a read, y'all (and tbh all of dwellordreams' fics go crazy, so check 'em out!)

Warning: mean opinions incoming. I'm a nice person usually I swear, I just also enjoy hating sometimes. Firstly, I agree that most Jon genderbends blow ass. Oftentimes, "Jon" just seems like a female author self-insert for someone who thinks Sansa is too girly/lame. Which I wouldn't generally have a problem with (we're all just here for a good time, and one man's unbearable cringe is another man's life-changing magnum opus), but it makes it hard to find genderbends that do interesting things with the actual character, rather than just inventing a female OC and calling it Jon.

"i once remember reading a story where 14 years old girl!Jon was getting married to Oberyn and girl!Jon was thinking about how she didn’t need to shave because she had found or made a salve that dissolved all her body hair?? FORVER!!! and I was like ????"

Oh my god lmaoooo. Beyond the ridiculousness of that, modern values in ASOIAF fics is more than a pet peeve to me, it's like a... man-eating tiger peeve. For instance, I quite like "Adjust For The Wind", as it's what inspired me to write Sow the Tide, but it also has a bizarre bit about women shaving their legs & genitals. Like:

Southern ladies are expected to remove all hair from between their legs.

“If you decide to groom between your legs using a razor or a knife, practice on your legs first. You can also use walnut oil, or bandages soaked in ammonia in a pinch.” Theon frowned. “I… see,” he parroted Mordane’s words. “And what do I use to keep myself clean… um, down there?”

Like literally what the fuck are you talking about lmao. To say that this took me out of the fic would be an understatement. I was so bothered by this that I tried to find actual published sources, but there didn't seem to be any particularly strong answers (besides that shaved genitals were more common among prostitutes). Also, for anyone reading, you do NOT need to clean inside your vagina, and your vulva (outside your vagina) should only be cleaned with warm water and a gentle soap if necessary. A strange place for me to make this point, but I'm making it.

I also tried a Jon genderbend fic recently, except fem!Jon had purple eyes and didn't look like Ned at all??? Despite that being a critical aspect of Jon's appearance??? I was just so completely flabbergasted because this author changed almost everything about Jon's appearance and personality, but somehow it's still supposedly Jon??? Like that's literally just an OC. Worse, of all things to keep, they stuck with Jon's canon age of 14 in a fic based around a romance with a 22-year-old man (Willas Tyrell). Maybe it's just because I'm 22 myself, but my immediate reaction was literally: "hm. I think Willas should be beaten to death." Like the fic itself felt tantamount to character assassination of Willas 😭 I was even bitching about this (wildly popular) fic on Discord:

I just hope to god the fic writer was a teenager, otherwise it seems like they just took GRRM's creepy handling of young characters like Dany at face value. Westeros obviously has different values, but it's concerning when the author themself seems to buy into those pedophilic standards.

GAY INCEST WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN STRAIGHT INCEST!!!!!!!!! 🗣️

lmaooooo. Also: "genderbends only work on way for me because why would I turn a woman 🥰 into a man 😐" <- REAL SHIT!!!!!!! You had me cracking up with that one.

Also also: "Aemon The Dragonknight and Aegon" SAY THAT!!!!!!!

Seriously. Let fem!Jon be a sulky, prickly, angry, kind, self-important little emo. Let fem!Theon be an ambitious, vain, insecure, proud, also self-important little bitch. A complicated relationship with one's parents is a plus, and a complicated relationship with Gender is a MUST! Bonus points if they're a crazy bitch in canon (Theon, Joffrey, Maegor, as you point out)!!! I've currently been thinking about fem!Maegor ngl... 👀

Anyway, thank you for dropping in. I'm probably gonna end up making a fun haterism server with goddcoward and some other homies, in addition to the more chill Quen sever. If that comes to fruition, join us in the silly complaint circle!

#ask #green rat (yes i'm still doing the unsullied names. mwah!)

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