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#BTS past lives series
freemindedspirit · 2 years
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Namjoon Past Life/Life Purpose
The past life part of this reading was solely based on intuition and clairs.Feel free to ask any question you have.For entertainment purposes only.
I immediately saw him wearing traditional furs and clothes and walking towards a village with some sort of scepter or baton.I think he was a traditional storyteller in an African culture, I’m seeing a M, so might be Mali, Mozambique or Madagascar for example.His kind were well-respected by the elders.It was a very oral culture, so such people were the ones who remembered stories of entire families and villages, and were able to share them even decades after.Children loved hearing him and families would welcome him warmly.I’m almost getting the feeling he was almost put to trial by a noble person ?This person let him go quite quickly though, but it seems like this meeting deepened his faith in the universe and in Spirit, and he was very thankful for that.He stayed within this person’s territory for a while, before leaving to travel and tell stories again.It was however the first time he regretted leaving, and was looking back.He was very used to his life and happy so I wonder why exactly that was ?He turned this meeting into a story that was very well loved, and he had a softness in his heart for this particular story.His dimples smile is coming out.
I think this current life is meant to replicate the past one, in the sense that he’s also meant to share his stories with the world and travel for a bit, although it’s less necessary in this time and place.Whoever this royal person is, he’s meant to meet them again, in different circumstances this time.He doesn’t want to regret anything anymore.It’s like his soul holds the memory, essence, and divinity of the stories of this past life and he’s meant to find them and share them to raise the energy of and heal the collective ?Many ARMYs could actually have met him in this past life as well as villagers, and he’s finishing the lessons he taught them at the time.Putting a cycle to an end,for him and them.
Life purpose
Eight of wands Rv, four of cups RV, Two of Pentacles Rv, six of swords
Yeah, so a major lesson would be to meet again the person with whom he felt he left too fast and moved on from too early.In general, he has a life lesson of taking his time more in this life.In the past life, his traditional role meant no personal life, no balance, only purpose, and that led him to miss out on a lot of beautiful things he could have experienced, a lot of blessings the universe wanted to give him.This life is a lot about catching up in way, because of him going too fast.I think he’s also transitioning into a whole new life cycle after this one .
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hollyhomburg · 2 months
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Before I leave you (Pt.67)
(Omegaverse au, Mafia au, Bts x Reader)
Summary: You and Hobi bury a dead body (That's a lie, Yoongi buries it for you).
Tags: blood, gore, body horror, death, dead bodies, everyone is pretty beat-up in this, brief implied self-harm but it's very quickly squashed- seriously it's nowhere near as bad as past scenes but i do have to tag it, Dissociation, tae is in the freeze part of fight or flight. hurt/comfort, mental breakdowns, flashbacks, discussions of past abusive relationships, everything is very fluffy until it's not,
W/c: 12.5k
A/N: Are you guys ready for Hoseok's secret reveal??? I'm really excited!!! But also terrified because this whole series has lead up to this point!!! A good number of people have already guessed his secret so congrats on getting it early <3
Previous part - Masterlist - First part
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Jimin sits on the stairs going down to the basement. His arm in a sling and bandaged up to the elbow. It aches with every small movement he makes as he peals a tangerine. He hasn't had any narcotics in a few hours and they're starting to wear off.
Jimin needs all of his brain power for this; For covering up the murder.
The fewer things running through his system the less sluggish and fuzzy his thoughts are. Jimin picks his poisons and fewer things make him less coherent than the panic and pain and near constant avalanche of thoughts. Tae, Tae's hurt, Tae's-
Tae's fine, Tae's upstairs with Y/n. he has to remind himself of these facts every few breaths. Tae's going to be okay because you wouldn't let anything happen to her.
There is evidence of that virtually everywhere; In the lines across your hands that Yoongi had dabbed at with a cool cloth, the swollen side of your jaw that he'd cradled. The blood drenching the opposite side of your face that he'd tenderly washed away. Not to mention the blood on the kitchen table, the floor, the ceiling. The blood splattered across your nest-
You don't fuck with an omega's nest; you don't fuck with their packmates.
Jimin quiets his brain with a steady breath as he looks down at Yoongi, Jin, and the body between the three of them wrapped in plastic.
He manages to peel the tangerine in his hand despite how uncooperative his left hand is. Numb at the fingertips just like it’s been since the surgery.
Namjoon had stroked his fingers and tested their give every chance he got, holding onto them and prodding while they waited in the hospital room and then again when Jimin got discharged. He said that they’d probably get better. Probably.
Tae's going to be fine because Namjoon is there too- had checked out her head with that soft alpha grumble croon of his. The most soothing sound in the world, and yet incapable of soothing this.
But Jimin knows nothing’s for certain, he might never get the feeling in his hand back. (This is Jimin's penance; The reminder of these tangled few weeks and how things went will be ever present. The reminder will be the first press of every touch with his non-dominant hand. He will never regain full feeling to the tips of his fingers. Never).
There are a few of noodle paw prints in the dust here, Jimin's ass is no doubt covered in it too from resting on the rickety stairs that lead into the half-finished basement. Little paw print marks that would make you coo and take pictures if you were down here.
But you’re not, you’re upstairs getting the evidence washed off of you.
No one's in that kind of mood right now anyway. No one’s been in that kind of mood for a few hours (or a few days, if he’s being honest, from Jungkook’s seizure, to getting shot, and then coming home to a dead body in their living room).
It’s been 4 hours since you killed someone in the kitchen. 3 hours since Jimin was discharged prematurely from the hospital and the rest of the pack was summoned home via a disturbingly calm call from Jin.
It’s been a tangle of moments even for the people not on hard drugs. Jimin feels like he's doing pretty good at answering the pack’s questions given the circumstances. You'd never know that, given Yoongi's eye roll and Jin's heavy sigh.
"Minnie- we're not asking you how you would have killed him just how you'd cover it up."
They used an old shower liner to wrap the body before they carried it downstairs. It makes a squeaky noise against Jin's rubber gloves (The pink elbow-high ones that he uses to do the dishes) as he pulls back the plastic sheet to reveal what's left of the assassin's head and face.
“I already told you, I don’t know his face- not even a little.” I’d have a pretty hard time identifying his face with the state she left it in regardless Is what he doesn't say.
Jimin tucks his chin, unsettled to look at the man's half-blown apart face for long. "I think he might be the spider but I don’t know. I never met him, only heard his name in passing.”
A small tattoo on the man's wrist reveals as much. A small spider tattoo that someone going to have to cut out and bury separately. Someone's going to have to get all of his teeth too- no identifying marks. None.
He’s a little too impressed with the state you’d left him in when he thinks about it. But once he’d seen your face and Hobi’s neck, not an inch of Jimin had felt the kill wasn’t justified. The whole pack feels that way, he knows they must even though they don't say it. Everyone's a little bit in shock right now.
Even Namjoon hadn’t even given the body a second glance when the pack had tumbled into the house. The pack alpha had simply alternated his fussing from you to Hobi to tae and then Jin. Torn between who needed him first. It was the first words Jimin had heard you speak. Your wet gasp, blood that wasn't yours flashing on your teeth. "Joonie- Hobi needs you."
Namjoon had calmed only once he realized that most of the blood on the three of you was the man’s. Yoongi had a similar reaction and so had Jimin, clutching at Tae. Angry at his arm for its uncooperativeness. About ready to tug off his sling and his bandages and stitches if it meant holding tae easier. He'd even tried it, only to be on the receiving end of a disapproving pack alpha growel too.
“Jimin you can’t; your stitches.”
“Fuck my stitches hyung.”
Numb fingers meet numb faces.
He's a bit ashamed of it, but when he first looked up from Tae to you- where you sat crumpled in Yoongi's hold. Your mate laying down a volley of sweet nothings to you to get you to stop shaking. There was only one sentence running through his head.
That’s my girl.
He'd reached over and squeezed your hand, blood and all. That blood has dried now. Soaked into the lines of his palm. Coloring his fate and love lines all rusty while he eats the tangerine. He should probably wash his hands. All of them probably need too.
Jungkook had been the only one willing to speak, closing the door softly behind him, locking it and treading softly closer. Careful to sidestep both the pools of blood and the piece of a skull sitting next to the couch. He looked down at the 7 of you with a surprisingly calm expression on his face.
"Can't we have one normal fucking day?"
Jungkook was the one who’d gone to the kitchen and gotten one of the hand towels to clean your face. His lips tightened to a line when he wiped away the blood and started to see the bruising, the cut across your temple dripping fresh. Lower lip wobbling ever so slightly.
“Kookie-”
Jungkook had turned to Jin and Namjoon, “I don’t want to deal with the body hyung." His hands were already under your arms, lifting you up, helpless. "Help me get them upstairs. We need to-” he’d let out a frustrated noise. Instincts coming to the full front- instincts he rarely feels.
Who knew blood would incur Jungkook's grooming instincts?
The last time Jimin saw Jungkook; He was helping Namjoon and Yoongi herd the three of you upstairs for a much-needed shower. Hobi hadn't been able to do it under his own power. Namjoon had to carry him.
Hobi; who's choked on every word he's tried to speak. Whose eyes are still red from all the burst blood vessels. Who easily got the closest to dying out of the four of you.
Everyone shakes when they touch Hobi and everyone touches him softly. Namjoon just about snaps his teeth at anyone who tries to get close. His hands turning red from the cold of an ice pack wrapped gently around the alpha's throat.
Jimin knows Jungkook's a lot more unnerved than he lets on, shuffling from foot to foot as he bound Tae up with a towel, taking her delicately from Jimin's arms. Carrying her in the same way Namjoon carried Hobi.
Yoongi was all soft helping you upstairs. Speaking in that quiet voice that he saves for Sunday mornings and stolen moments of quiet. Every moment, all of this is stolen.
And now- the beta is down here, leaning over the body and looking at it like it will tell him something that you won't. After your initial demand that Namjoon he tend to Hobi; you haven't spoken a word. Neither has Tae. Jin's done all of the talking.
There isn’t much to say.
Jimin feels the numbness in his hands and looks at Jin. He hasn't apologized for the bullet yet. But the more time that passes the less Jimin wants an apology. Mating marks come in many forms. Jimin has a scar on his body from one of his omega's- so really? What does he have to be upset about?
The whole house needs to be deep cleaned, and then deep cleaned again. There's blood everywhere; on the couch, the ceiling, the curtains. It's a lot to clean. It's going to be a lot to hide.
That's the only reason why Jimin's not upstairs helping you and Tae clean up right now; the body is unfortunately the biggest threat to the pack's safety at the moment.
There’s a bloodstain on the stairs too, a droplet next to where Jimin sits. he makes a mental note of it but doesn't move to wipe it up. He puts a tangerine slice on his tongue and chews before he answers Yoongi’s next question.
“I don’t know how to dispose of a body, I never dealt with this part. My only job was to kill, not take care of them after. I know there’s a way that you can do it with soap.”
Jin snorts, “You only know that from breaking bad-“
Jimin’s a little miffed, “We already have a plastic tub upstairs-”
“Lye,” Yoongi corrects, looking down at the body before he stoops to retape the plastic over the man's face. It was a bitch to wrap him up, the body stiff and heavy from rigor Mortis. The blood beneath it bubbles and darkens, coagulating. Yoongi's long hair falls over his face and he tucks it behind his ear.
“We could use the soap, but it might take a few days.” Jin clarifies.
“Do you think we can wait that long?”
“Absolutely not,” Jin’s got a similar ice pack to his wrists, the skin there bruised and red and swelling where he fought to get free from the handcuffs, where he eventually ripped down the banisters and broke through them with brute strength and panic.
You’d found the keys on the man’s body soon after and released him from the handcuffs, they're wrapped up in the plastic along with the frying pan, the gun that killed him, and a few other items from the living room that were just too bloodstained, every big piece of evidence will lie right beside him where he rests.
Jimin eats another slice of the tangerine, and Jin shrivels his nose at it. “Isn’t that a little gross?”
Yoongi mirrors his disgust. “Yeah Minnie, weren’t those covered in blood?”
But Jimin just shrugs, “I washed it and peeled it hyung” And keeps eating. After a few days of hospital food, the tangerines taste divine.
Yoongi stands from where he’s kneeling on his knees with a faint crack. “One part kitty litter, two parts concrete should keep out the smell,” Jin says, eyeing the 6 by-six-foot hole in the basement's foundation, already there from the plumbing that needed replacing.
Most of Yoongi's tools are down here too. His scrap pile of wood and the dozen bags of concrete. His hack saw and his circular saw that none of them are looking at. Yoongi had only just fit in the plumbing a few weeks ago. He'd been about to re-pour the foundation anyway.
“I’d rather not have a body buried in our house.”
Yoongi touches Jin’s wrist, so feather-light, removing the ice pack to check the swelling to see if it’s gone down. Jin's left hand is just as useless as Jimin's, the knuckles bruised and ballooned.
“It’s just for a few weeks, we can deal with this once it’s all calmed down, but we absolutely can’t go try and bury it. Who knows what the neighbors heard?”
They're all silent at that, silent at the idea that these few hours might be the last few that the pack spends free.
But over the next few hours, there are no blue and red flashing lights outside or concerned neighbors that come knocking. Your one saving grace is that this all happened during the middle of the day and all of your nearest neighbors have nine to five's. Is it so simple to hope that everyone was just at work? That no one heard the gunshots over the nearby roar of the passing train?
(Maybe they're just too used to the pack next door; the one that has the noisy ruts and noisy noisy packmates. The one whose alphas have a habit of opening the windows in the back room and let the sound of their roughhousing and video games flood the street. The ones who have extra loud movie nights. They're just a bunch of kids, how harmful could they really be? At least the pack alpha and omega look respectable.)
It's a good thing that no one comes; because Namjoon has more important problems, more important things to handle beyond the body in the basement or the police at the door.
Namjoon’s hands cradle Hobi’s neck. He wheeze as he tries to speak, his mouth falling open. He's mostly clean, but a rusty trickle of water from his hair trails down his shoulders.
Jungkook tugged him into the shower first and gave him a rough clean before handing him back to Namjoon. They sit on a towel together on the edge of the nest. they only moved him in here to give him some privacy- to distract him because Hobi kept reaching for you. you'd kept reaching back, tae was already in the shower under the stream.
"Pup- your hands- you're going to hurt yourself."
The Nestroom is dark and quiet. Every single blind in the house is draw. Only the christmas lights illuminate Hobi's injuries. Namjoon will tend to Tae and then you after he's checked out Hobi's injuries. will send him downstairs with Jin for some cold water to soothe his throat once he's done. once he's been cleaned again probably.
Hobi was covered with the most blood, having been just under the man when Tae had blown his throat apart while you- Namjoon doesn't want to think of it, doesn't want to see it.
(Namjoon thinks of every moment, sees them behind every blink. Blink and he sees you sitting in his lap over breakfast squirming happily. Blink and you're kneeling in a bloody puddle looking up at him.
Blink and you're curled up in the nest wearing the first pajama pants he'd given you. Blink and he's watching Jungkook dab at your bloody cheek, blink and you're turning into his hand to nuzzle as he wakes you for sunday morning breakfast. Blink and there’s sunlight spilling across your face and blood slipping down your chin. Namjoon's smallest and most sensitive pup not so innocent anymore.)
Namjoon touches Hobi's throat with no small amount of reverence. it cools the anger in his throat. Namjoon's anger has no good place to go.
When Hobi closes his eyes, he sees it too; the explosion of the bullet and the splat of blood pouring down his face. The shower earlier felt so similar- he almost couldn't handle it. He had to concentrate on Jungkook's voice narrating everything.
"Here Hobi, I'm gonna use some soap now. I like Tae's body wash. You know she always just picks whatever bottles are pinkest because she wants all her toiletries to match. It smells good, doesn't it? Can you take a deep breath for me? Through your nose?"
Endless meaningless Jibber jabber to distract all of them.
Now he shivers and shakes in Namjoon's hold. One part terror and one part near frostbite. Namjoon turns the heat up but Hobi still shakes as Namjoon checks his throat. "Open for me baby- that's a good boy."
He flashes a light down there, listening with his stethoscope. The cold metal end of it presses against his collarbones and the bruises too. Finger-shaped that lace over his jugular like a collar. Over Hobi's heart. Every thump ba-thump ba-thump music to Namjoon's ears.
Namjoon’s growl is soothing as he scoots closer to gather the injured alpha close to his chest. Shushing Hobi as he tries to speak for the dozenth time in the last hour. “Don’t try it, careful- I don’t think he did any lasting damage but-”
Namjoon breaks and his forehead drops to Hoseok’s shoulder, fingers rub out soothing circles on Hobi's wrist even as he starts to cry. Namjoon already stitched up the deep puncture wound there. He had to hold his wrist still as he dabbed the stingy antiseptic, the impulse to pull it away too great. The wound wasn't from a bullet but from the piece of the door that embedded itself in Hobi’s wrist. Blown apart the way he could have been.
Namjoon was so close to losing everything, to losing them.
The bruises, Hobi’s eyes, and his little raspy breaths. Everything both punishment and payment for every violent thing Namjoon wants to do. He feels powerless to do more than hold the smaller alpha right now. The strength in his arms doing little to protect Hobi from the hurts he's already nursing. Hoseok leans his head on Namjoon's shoulder and Just lets the alpha hold him.
If he’d come home to the four of you dead what would he have done? more accurately- What wouldn’t he have done?
Namjoon imagines it- the same way he's imagined it thousands of times. Tae's blood on her lips as pretty as any lip stain. Jin on the floor, his little big love wrapped up in permanent stillness like a mating shroud. Your body turned small and quiet the way you'd been when he'd met you- only so much worse. Hobi with his heart slow and absent of his near-constant music. Bodies stiff as statues, turned alters meant to worship both grief and love.
He’d probably have demanded Jimin and Yoongi tell him everything they knew. And then he’d have gone hunting.
Namjoon lets out a shaky breath and pulls away from Hoseok only to continue dabbing at his wounds. The violence of his alpha's instincts calmed by the sanctity of this- of making it better. of being gentle even when namjoon wants to be anything but.
Hoseok’s mute. Throat too swollen to make more than a soft hissing sound on command. Vocal cords not damaged just swollen. Leaving his brain to hurdle through the last few hours. Eyes closed but his mind wide open.
He sees it all behind his eyes; your hand descending with the frying pan, the explosion of wood near his head. The splat of hot blood against the wood floor. Gasping and getting blood in his mouth accidentally. Choking in it- drowning a little. Everything. The sting of smoke on his eyes. Your words ring in his ears like the final notes of a symphony.
“You can take me. I’ll go with you. Willingly. That’s what she wants isn’t it?”
Hoseok’s brain teases through what you might have meant with that. The unnamed she that you mention. Who, why, and what aren’t you telling them? Is it the woman that Yoongi talked to you about before?
He's unable to say anything to Namjoon even as the alpha softy cradles his damaged throat. Unable to even whisper it out through the swelling that threatens to cut off Hobi's airway. It feels like he's breathing through a straw. Namjoon says he's not going to choke, that it only feels that way. The panic is hard to let go of.
But who do you have to go back to there? You've never talked about the family like you wanted them, like they were your pack. Who have you run from? What monsters are here to haunt you? Who is after you? Or is it something darker- more sinister?
Maybe Hoseok's heart has never truly healed from Yoongi leaving them. Maybe a wounded heart remembers. Yoongi always had them to go back to that Hoseok had never questioned. But he's never wondered about you or stopped to consider that maybe, Yoongi's not the only one who left something.
The family doesn't exactly seem like something you can walk away from unscathed. Yoongi managed it, but Jimin didn't.
Hoseok should warn Namjoon, should tell someone but- it's impossible. His airway protesting with an agonizing twinge with every attempt he makes at speaking. He wonders if this is what being nonverbal felt like for you.
The pain pulses dully without adrenaline to dilute it as Namjoon so lovingly examines the marks, again and again. But he shouldn't be spending so much time. You and Tae are bruised and battered too- even if Hoseok’s are by far the worst; you need tending to.
Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival.
Hoseok thinks of the body, not the one that sits downstairs, but the one that you found months ago in the ocean. Maybe this wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe none of this was. How far back do the coincidences go? Between Jin and Yoongi who wouldn't have a relationship to stand on without Yoongi's family- how many other things in the pack are because of this?
Hoseok struggles to speak, to talk to Namjoon about what you'd almost done, what you'd almost bartered- but nothing but air comes out, and the pack alpha shushes him. His hands grip Namjoon's shoulders hard.
Namjoon wishes he had more than just numbing cream and sutures for Hobi’s hurts. Jimin’s already offered up some of his opioids for Hobi to sleep and as much as Namjoon hates the idea of anyone swapping medication- Hobi might actually need them.
Jimin’s doctor had been a little bit liberal with them, sure that his 6 on the pain scale had to be at least a 9. He could spare one or two. The truth is that nothing hurts more than this- seeing the people that you love in pain. Jimin and Namjoon save their 10s for days like this.
With the blood cooling, Namjoon’s anger has nowhere to go. The body in the basement has already gone cold.
In the quiet of the house they can audibly hear Seokjin and Yoongi start mixing the concrete. The dull scrape of a shovel against a bucket and the sound of a faucet dripping.
Namjoon wipes at Hobi’s throat, and Hoseok tries again- futile in his efforts to speak. Namjoon shushes him.
In the basement it goes; drip, scrape, drip.
~-~
Jungkook holds Tae up underneath the warm spray of water. The glass is foggy in places and clear and others, occasional spots of red water joining the constellation of them. She rests against Jungkook's chest, her body is prone and almost lifeless. Eyes vacant and glassy.
So shaky and tired as her body rockets down from its adrenaline high. A drop so abrupt that she could hardly hold herself up. A drop so terrifying that Jungkook must do it for her.
He doesn't mind, none of him minds as he cradles the back of her head oh so gently. Tae flinches, whether from pain or the sudden movement. Jungkook meets Jimin's eyes through the foggy glass and then yours. Biting his lower lip before Jimin nods and tells him to keep going.
Evidence is evidence. Washing off can’t wait.
Jimin has joined you upstairs with the body already packed away and on its way to being buried under the foundation of the house. Jimin watches on from outside the shower as he instructs Jungkook in a quiet voice on how to clean Tae of evidence properly. He's been quiet since then. Staring at them while Tae stares blankly back.
You watch them from where you sit. Mostly you just watch Tae. When Namjoon's body doesn’t block your view. He stitches the gash on your forehead, hands pulling the sutures closed in a gentle and practiced way. The pass of the needle through your skin a distant sensation.
The wounds on your hands are in that awkward place of not being deep enough for stitches but still a little too deep to not need something. After a brief debate, Namjoon sealed them with a bit of non-surgical glue that stung terribly and then regular gauze over the top.
Your hands are swelling and clotting. Scabbing although trying to touch anything is too painful. Closing your fingers at all hurts. Namjoon holds you so lightly it hardly feels like he's holding you at all.
Namjoon apologizes after every wince.
The second he’s done he tosses his suture kit into the bathroom sink with a clang the second he’s done. Namjoon gets on his knees before you. The plastic that covers the whole bathroom crackling as he does.
Jimin had the great idea to cover the bathroom with sheets of plastic to cut down on the cleanup. Hoseok's bloody footprints join Tae's trailing from the doorway to the shower. Join the trail that you left. Parts of you are still dripping.
"It's going to scar," Namjoon says, a little sadly. Thumb skimming over the mark on your forehead.
You swallow hard. You still taste blood. You want to brush your teeth; you want to shut the lights off and go to sleep. You want Noodle and you want Yoongi you want everything from the past few hours- the past few years to be gone and over with. You want-
You want to snap at him and tell him that it doesn't matter that it will scar. That you're covered with scars already and you don't care but-
Namjoon kisses your forehead. A lingering brush. The one spot that's not bloody.
You look over at Tae and her eyes flicker blankly to you. Jungkook keeps bringing the boar bristle brush up and down her back in soothing little circles.
When you turn back to Namjoon he's pursing his lips and blinking away tears as he looks down at your hands. You resist the urge to say you’re sorry. You’re not sure what for. The terrible feral hunger in you gone as quick as it's come.
Namjoon’s fingers wrap around the hollow of your knees, and you meet his eyes, even though you don’t want to. It feels too much like a confession already.
“I’m going to say this now, before you get any ideas; This is not your fault and I am not mad at you and Tae for doing what you did-”
“Namjoon-”
He continues on, words rushing out. “I’m proud of you pup, so proud. I’m sorry that I wasn’t here. I promise I won’t disappoint you again as pack alpha-” You cover his mouth with your hand, gauze and all.
The bit of gauze over your palm is already turning bloody. It's hard to tell if it's your blood or if it's his. You’re the last one to shower. The last one to get clean. Namjoon shouldn’t be touching you at all.
And yet he does, yet he cradles your face, brushes the tears from your cheeks, gets blood on his hands. Evidence is evidence, but love has a steeper sort of price if you don't express it when you can.
When you take your hand away, Namjoon doesn’t try to speak again. someone says something that you don't hear, that you can't hear.
Namjoon stands and when you look up, Jungkook has the shower door open for you.
Because the bandages and the glue on your hands can’t get wet Namjoon binds your hands with Ziplock bags and duct tape. The plastic rustles, and you follow Hobi's bloody footprints into Jungkook’s arms. Namjoon closes the door behind you.
Every bit of plastic is going to get melted down later, until all the blood and terror evaporates through something as simple and trivial as fire. Fire will cleanse it of all evidence, as sure as the burning water you step under.
You're not quite sure what you're going to do about the bullet holes in the walls or the blown-apart door to the upstairs bedroom, but Yoongi’s always had a handle on the home improvement stuff.
Jungkook helps you disrobe off your bloodied clothing. Lifting your shirt over your head and stooping, telling you to hold onto his shoulders so that he can take off your sweatpants. You're pretty sure they're Yoongi's but there's no time to get sentimental as he puts them inside a garbage bag along with Tae's and Hobi's clothes.
Everything on your person is evidence. When you look back Namjoon's gone, summoned by Jin's distant call from downstairs. It's just Jimin outside of the shower. watching you, but mostly watching Tae.
You’d be more self-conscious of your nude body if your brain wasn’t still racing. It’s hard to do much with the bags on your hands. But Jungkook squirts out a healthy dollop of your favorite shampoo and gets to work once the conditioner is in Tae’s hair. She sits like a discarded ball-jointed doll on the built-in bench. Her long hair hair stuck like a sheet over her eyes.
Nothing is as important as making sure you’re not found out. And the frothy shampoo turns rusty around Jungkook's fingers. You have to have a lot of blood on your face. All the water that rolls off of you goes pink.
Jungkook is gentle even by your hairline scratching against your scalp with his fingers. The skin there is tender. Namjoon taped a bit of gauze over the sutures too. You don't remember when he did that.
You make a noise. “Too rough?” his voice has something unreadable in it, something soft and concerned.
You don't respond because Yoongi makes his reappearance at the doorway. The black shirt he wears is dusty at the front from the concrete. His eyes single focused on you the second he enters the room. You stare at him the way that Tae stares at Jimin. Jungkook just huffs and pulls you a little more snugly against his chest.
Tae stands in the corner of the shower, still staring at Minnie. Minnie who stares back, practically not blinking. Both of their anguish are hidden behind glass. Like fish in tanks that could never get out. Not really.
Part of Tae gets washed away down the drain. Swirling and gurgling down and down with no one to notice.
Tae stares off blankly into space. Sometimes Jimin talks to her and sometimes he hums through the glass, he'd be in there too if his bandages couldn't get wet either. If Namjoon hadn’t yanked him back from the doorway and told him that he couldn't.
Jungkook takes the boar bristle brush to your body too. Everything has to be scrubbed multiple times until your skin feels nearly raw from it. Tae’s fingernails, her arms, your neck, the side of your face, the hollow at the inside of your arms. Your knees. Everywhere.
He apologizes when he goes over bruises, wincing, clutching you a little tighter, a little closer to make up for the pain. But Jungkook is meticulous as he cleans of evidence until you feel groomed clean. Until there’s no more blood swirling down the drain just clear water, and the light outside has turned pearly and blue in the twilight.
Tae's still silent. She's been quiet beyond the occasional heartbreaking whimper since you both killed that man. Eventually, You push at Jungkook's hands with a pointed look in her direction where she's slumped and he goes with a soft nod. Two omega's taking care of their alphas.
Jungkook’s delicate with Tae’s head, gentle in the way he cradles the bruising, half hidden by her hair. Washing out the conditioner with a quiet hum. Namjoon had diagnosed her with a concussion pretty quickly, it's not a crack in her skull plate but she's not going to go putting her hair up in a bun any time soon.
Jungkook alternates from you to Tae. One moment you're standing, the next Jungkook is taking you up gently from the floor and Yoongi is at the glass, hand on the door- looking at you anxiously. Letting out a volley of cursing. You can't remember the last time you heard him use language like that.
"Hyung she's fine- she's just slippery, I've got her."
Their voices are so soft and grave and so quiet. Or is it just that you can’t hear it? Why are their voices so far away and muffled? Sometimes Yoongi is here and sometimes he isn't. Sometimes Jungkook is holding you, talking to Namjoon about something, and other times he and Yoongi are talking. Keeping their voices low. Your ears ring. It's so loud it deafening.
“Do you need me to take over?” Yoongi asks Jungkook. Jungkook has blood on his feet, from you or Tae you’re not sure, it soaks the hair there. Jungkook’s got hairy fucking feet for an omega- you’re not sure why you’re concentrating on it. Why you’re noticing all these things now. Cataloging little things about them like you might never get the chance to notice them again.
Your heart beats quick, fear still consuming you even though the danger has passed. You look down at the tiled floor and the room spins.
You don’t feel a thing when you close your eyes. You don’t feel anything when you think of the man that you just killed. You don’t feel anything but roaring, like the crashing of the ocean or the sound when you lift your ear to a shell. The hearing in your left ear where the gun went off feels…off, muffled. You put your hand up to toy with it and freeze when you realize it isn't right.
"Guys" You paw at your ear. But they don't seem to hear you.
"No, I've got them.”
“We need to clean up the downstairs. Kookie, where do you keep the oxyclean?”
"Guys"
They still don't hear you. Maybe you're not making a sound at all just mouthing the words. Your movement gets Tae's attention and her eyes focus for the first time in hours. Slumped on the bench, her hand grips the tiled edge hard as she tries to stand but can't. Jungkook hands Yoongi something through the steam, the black trash bag full of bloody clothes.
The notice Tae trying to get to you first. she hits the floor with a small thud and tugs her way over to you. You make a noise in your throat- a distressed chirp that makes the alphas flinch. Tae cups your cheek as you dig your finger in, slippery from the plastic- and pull something small and fleshy out of your ear.
It's soft and squishy. A curved piece of pink and white brain matter. A little bloody but bleached from the water.
You try to stand to your feet but teeter, shaking, staring down at the chunk of person that you just got out of you, that was just in you.
For a second, no one says anything, but then-
“That’s so fucking gnarly.” Your head jerks up in Jungkook’s direction.
"I think I'm going to be sick," Tae actually does look a little green, but it's good to hear her voice at the very least. She hauls herself over to the drain and starts to dry heave.
"Oh tae don't-" the sound of vomit hitting the floor joins the sound of the shower. You don't look at her. just at the lump of person in your hand.
"Someone please take it from me," Jimin is already there opening the glass door and holding out a cloth for you to place it in.
Yoongi presses his hands to the glass as he watches you struggle to grab the brush that Jungkook was using on you from the floor after finally getting your feet under you. Jungkook is torn, his hand on Tae's shoulder as she wretches turning from her to you like he doesn't know what to do or who to help first.
You don't care about the state of your hands you just need to get clean. You Ignore the twinge of pain in your hands as you try and get the bottle of body wash open. Ripping off the plastic bags that cover your hands when you can't unclick the cap immediately. frustrated and panicking. You ignore Jimin calling your name. The gauze falls to the floor with a wet thwack and you take the boar bristle brush to your hands. Cuts and all.
Big hands stop you. Hands that dwarf yours. Hands that you'd know blind.
Yoongi's standing under the spray fully clothed, the water pinning down his hair and quickly soaking him. His hands tangling with yours, taking the brush from you. Wordless as he grabs your wrists and jerks you forward hard.
He holds on until you stop shaking. resting against his chest. guiding your face to his scent gland. "Take a deep breath for me now sweetheart- there you go- just like that."
Jungkook doesn't say anything and neither does Jimin, not as Yoongi starts to wash you again. Jungkook just stoops to lift Tae and place her back on the bench. She goes easy, limp, and doll-like. But she's almost done- she's almost clean. Tae pushes at Jungkook’s shoulders.
"I’m fine. I need to wait for the nausea to pass before I try getting out of here.”
With you, it's going to take a little longer.
Jungkook has already shampooed your hair, but he does it again. The telltale signs of rusty red in the peach-scented shampoo. Bubbling orange-pink. Yoongi does it slower, gentler- it feels more normal. Like the slow loving you're used to.
“Do you ever feel like-” your voice is a little crackly from all the screaming you did earlier. You hate how the terror makes you not remember all the details. Did you make any sound while you killed him? Did you say anything through the rage?
The others are looking at you but you have eyes for just Jimin. his hand tightens to fists, knuckles pressed against the glass. eyes darkening ever so slightly. “Do you ever not feel guilty? About killing people Minnie?”
You are nude, as bare as you’ve ever been before him, it's hard to be self-conscious about it. Maybe this would be a little sexier- showering with Tae and Jungkook and Yoongi with an audience if you weren't literally trying to cover up a very violent murder.
You remember the words Jimin had said to you weeks ago now. “Would you kill for me?” “I’d do worse” you wonder if this qualifies as worse. You can’t imagine what would be much worse than this.
Jungkook's hands are rough as they massage a bit of soap down your back but instead of being comforting, it feels like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin.
Jimin hums. Eyeing Tae still sprawled on the built-in bench. Jimin gathers his thoughts before he speaks. “In my contract, at the beginning-” He starts but cuts off as you start to slip. Jungkook's hands find you, helping Yoongi hold you up more properly. Your mate doesn't let Jungkook take you entirely just moves a bit to the side to give him space. Any other day you'd love to be in the middle of a yoonkook sandwich but-
“Your contract?” he nods, blond hair bobbing. Yoongi meticulously removes the dried blood from under your fingernails, careful to hold your glue sutures out of the direct spray.
“I specified that I’d only ever kill bad people. of course I got a little lazier after I got used to it." He shoots an anxious glance in Tae's direction, but she's still just sitting. "But at the beginning, I’d go back and look through their files to try to find out what they’d done to warrant a hit getting taken out on them. I couldn’t always find a reason but most of the time I did."
You can see it in his face, that Jimin doesn't want to say that they deserved it. Because if they deserved a violent ending then you could say the same about the 8 of you. Jungkook's hands get a little close to the nape of your neck and you turn to him and snap.
"Don't scruff me."
"Sorry." You need it. Is what he doesn't say.
“Most of the time it was worth it?” You cling to his words. With Geumjae you’d never had to guess if he deserved it or not but this-
Jimin’s eyebrows are brought into a hard line, “Karma is a fickle thing. Sometimes it never comes but-” his eyes are downcast, "Sometimes it's a good thing, being the karma."
You sit quietly, digesting his words. Your lower lip trembles, and you don’t know if you feel terrible or better when the tears just won’t come. Yoongi delicately cradles your body, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and pulling you back against his chest.
“Yoongi.”
“Let me hold you for a minute.” You do, body sagging under the weight of your exhaustion.
Tae teeters in Jungkook’s hold, but she pushes against his hands weakly when he tries to make her stand again. Her voice sounds warbly and fragile when she shakes her head. “I’m still dizzy.”
He tries to guide her gently back to the bench, but she doesn't make it that far. Pushing away his hands when she descends to the marble floor. Closer to the wall, Closer to Minnie who mirrors her, falling to the floor too. Getting as closer to her as he can without being in the shower.
Jimin lets out a sad and bitter-sounding laugh and Tae smiles in reply while Jungkook and Yoongi share an anxious glance over your head.
He's still grinning, words twisting, eyes shining with sorrow and fondness. “You couldn’t wait 24 hours until you had to make it even, didn’t you?”
Tae closes her eyes as her smile twists and she starts to cry “Where you go, I go. We’re the same now Minnie.” Jimin doesn't mean to ask what she means. He knows.
If you're a killer I'm a killer. If you're damned, I'm damned. Even though neither of them believes in God or heaven or damnation. Not really. Not anymore. It's very half-hearted.
(I don't know if it's worth wondering if the people you love are bad people, I think when worse comes to worse, you just put the heaviness down and keep on loving them anyway).
Jimin’s eyes are soft on her, the way that they only ever are with Tae. He places his hand on the glass fogging around his fingertips. She doesn’t match his hands, just leans her cheek against it. Love is only a thin layer of glass away.
You know it hurts her a little bit, must make the dysphoria a little harder to breathe through, to let Jimin and Jungkook see her like this; just the long hair and nothing delicate to cloth her soul in. A soul that now you’ve irreparably tarnished.
A soul that is damaged beyond repair now thanks to you.
It is your fault. All of this is because of you. all of this pain and anguish and damage is because of the choices you've made. the stupid idiotic childish choices. If you'd never needed it- if you'd just been strong enough- Tae could have been whole. Tae could have been unharmed. Hobi and Jin too- if you’d just-
Back at the hospital, Tae had so many questions about Jimin’s job, so many questions about when and where, and why. But she finds her head empty of them in the aftermath. She has no desire to learn anything else about Jimin’s job. Not now that she knows what killing feels like.
Tae is never going to be able to look at red nail polish the same way again.
Jungkook reaches over and turns off the water.
~-~
Eventually, you finish washing. Wrapped up in fluffy white towels that will have to be burned too. The house smells like bleach and gunpowder. It covers everything.
Even the noodle is looking a little more grubby than usual when he zips by, meowing for someone to give him attention. You hear the saw going and you know that Yoongi is cutting the bullet holes out of the walls while the others clean up the blood.
Your skin feels pink and sensitive were the towel brushes as you go looking for pajamas, you'll get some for the others too. Later, Jin will fuss and ask to put some cream on you. Will massage it in something of an apology and pretend that Yoongi isn't going over the whole house with a blacklight to spot any errant blood splatters.
Later Yoongi will take a wood scraper to the floorboards where the man died, will rip them up, and burn them in the house's ancient fireplace just to be sure that no one finds any evidence.
You'll all pretend that Tae doesn't shake through a panic attack when you have an informal dinner in the nest. jin's rule of "no food in the nest" broken for this. You'll all pretend that Hoseok won't choke choking on all but the smallest sips of water. You'll all pretend. You're good pretenders, good liars too.
Later, Jin will put cream on your skin and dot it all with kisses, the swelling in his hands won't take too long to go down. You'll get the love and You won’t deserve a single second of it.
You don't know how you fooled yourself into thinking you ever deserved it. The last 8 months have been stolen. Not earned.
The one-year anniversary of Geumjae's death comes and passes as you go to the top of the stairs in your towel, Ears straining to hear what's going on downstairs.
There is a lot of talking going on downstairs, between Yoongi, Namjoon, and Jin. About what to do, and how to handle this. Hushed voices kept mostly out of earshot. And other more dangerous questions get asked, with equally as dangerous answers.
One of Jimin's guns sits on the kitchen counter through all of it. No one moves to put it away. They're not sure when they're next going to need it and they'd rather not get caught off guard again.
“I could talk to some people- call them. Some people owe me favors, There has to be some section of the family that doesn’t want her too-“
"Absolutely Not, I am not having you get into some weird ass mafia debt"
"Yeah, jailcell orange is so not your color hyung"
“We stay quiet. For the next 48 hours- it’s likely no one will know what happened. They’re too hurt- we need some time to regroup and think.”
Hobi’s voice is absent from the fray. You hear something quite like he's trying to speak, and someone shushing him softly. Namjoon says that his swelling won’t go down enough to talk until tomorrow. You hear the sound of someone opening the refrigerator to get ice.
The door to the bedroom has been blown apart, and a flurry of bullet holes chewed through the top corner. It sits off its hinges and in two pieces.
You remember watching Yoongi paint the door, sitting at the bottom of the stairs while he worked at the top of it and painted it to match the wallpaper in the staircase, a dark cobalt blue. You remember all of it, every little thing you watched him do to make this house into something worthwhile. To make it into a home and now it's riddled with bullet holes and stained with blood.
It's funny, you hardly remember every little thing he did for you, to make you worthwhile.
You have always been a reminder that you don't make houses out of abandoned buildings, and mates out of monsters that bite.
The water has turned the cuts on your hands white and gummy when you look down at them in the closet room. They’re already oozing, not bleeding, it will be at least a day or two until you can touch anything without discomfort. Namjoon will scold you ever so gently later and re-do your bandages.
The pink curtains are drawn already to keep out any wandering eyes from the outside. This is a dressing room after all. The whole room feels like a blush-toned jewel box and you, the one piece of cheap costume jewelry at the center.
You get up and shut the door before you sit on a small poof- something silky and tufted that Jimin had gotten Tae right after she'd come out.
You sit in your towel and look down at your wounds. Thinking about Tae's concussion. Jin's wrists. Hobi's throat. Both of their blank looks and the violence of death and trying to live. You think it all through, every possible ending to this before you pick up your phone and dial Her number.
Moonbyul picks up on the first ring. It’s like she’s been waiting for your call.
“Did you like your courting present pup?”
Your throat is dry and you don’t know exactly what to say, even less how to say it. She hums at your silence, an alpha's imitation of a purr. Waiting until your quietness builds to a frantic pulse.
In the pack, you've always been the one with the best survival instincts. Geumjae made you this way. Although the pack has spent the last few months trying to heal you; deep down you know you've never been anything more than a scared animal. Fight or Flight. Freeze or fawn.
Bullet to bullet. Tooth to tooth. Heartbeat to heartbeat. This time is different. This time you have something worth protecting.
You stand, no longer able to sit. There is a noise at the door, and you wait with bated breath for someone to come in. They don't come. But you stand and move farther inside. Hoping that the distance will disguise the sound of your whispered conversation.
She continues when it becomes clear you're struggling to speak. “I’ve got another one on the way. Hyejin’s here, wanna say hello? You’re on speaker.”
“Pup,” she giggles, and you feel like you might vomit. It’s a struggle really, not to end the call right there, not to let the fear overtake you. “We haven’t heard back from Spider yet, and I have a feeling someone’s been a little naughty.”
You lift the curtain to look outside, the train chugs past and the cars flit by like the fast small birds searching for seed in the snow. The whole world is grey and flat. The sky is orange from the lights of the city reflecting the clouds. The trees bare of all but a few crumbly leaves. It’s strange how all at once, the train is all you can look at. All you can think about.
You think about hoseok, the night at the train tracks where he stopped you from leaving. When he asked you to stay.
“Tell me what I need to do. Tell me what I need to do to get you to stop this, please.” Your voice sounds off, even for you. Too flat, strange even to your ears.
“I’m afraid we’re too far along for that.”
"Please, please Moonbyul-" You turn, pacing back towards the door. Past Tae’s clothes, past yours, past Jungkook’s, past the alcove where Hobi hangs his sweatshirts for you. You pause there. Looking at them.
“You said- you said when it was over you’d give me anything I wanted. Well I want them alive. Even if-"
Your voice is so shaky, you're careful to make sure you're not overheard. The pack is in the other room, just downstairs. You can hear the distant hum of their sweet voices; the people you love always sound like a melody. Your absence hasn’t been noticed yet.
"Even if I’m not here.”
For once they’re silent on the other end of the line. It’s a full silence, filled with one part lust and one part hunger. Both of them are like Noodle playing with a mouse. Waiting for the right time to drive their teeth in and end this game.
But even mice have teeth. Your hand is holding your phone so hard that the plastic makes your bones ache and your cuts bleed fresh.
“If you don’t let them live, I'll never stop fighting. But if you want me to be willing- If you want me to be your pup the way I think you do."
You can’t even close your hand into a fist with how wrecked your hands are. They hurt with every clumsy movement. you hold the phone. Your every heartbeat lurching with the horror of what you're doing.
I can’t lose them; I can’t be the reason why they die. They'll keep sending people until we're all dead unless I do something.
“All of them, all of them need to be safe, Jimin- you need to let him go of his contract and let him go back to living a normal life and you need to not punish Jin for working for the FBI.” Your words rush over themselves. "Leave my pack alone and I’ll be obedient. I'll be yours. I’ll never try and go back to them again. I won’t ever try and leave. I promise.”
Moonbyul and Hyejin are silent on the other end of the phone. You wait for a few moments. They must be looking at each other, deliberating.
Everything in this room aches. The closet bedroom that Yoongi made he made for you. The wainscotting just so. Everything in this house was crafted with an equal amount of love.
It was never meant to be yours forever, you’ve been keenly aware of this fact since the moment you met Yoongi. Since the moment you met his eyes across the dining room table and the moment his teeth met your skin. Borrowed things don't belong, they never do. Good things do not last. You only get them for as long as you get them and not a moment longer.
You're looking at Hobi's sweatshirts, in the alcove where he stacks them for you to take when Moonbyul and Hyejin respond.
“We'll agree to those terms, but remember their safety depends on your performance."
"You have 24 hours to get to us pup. Make them count.”
The dial tone drones like a funeral drum.
~-~
(Hoseok, a few years prior)
The backroom at the record shop is cramped with all sorts of things from a bygone era;
A mini fridge with a decrepit desktop computer and logbook balanced atop it. Pictures and bulletins glued to the wall from the 1960's. A greasy coffee machine piled high with bags of expired tea. A cramped spot for employees to hang their coats and a yellowing old table with a pair of chairs; both occupied by people also out of place. a beta that has a thing for 1980's rap and an alpha with a broken heart who admittedly loves 2010's pop.
A poster of some glittery showgirl omega from the 20s bats her eyelashes down at Hoseok as he has a mental breakdown. Offering neither comfort nor absolution nor love.
Maybe if he'd been born an omega like that, it would have been easier. Maybe they'd have wanted him then.
Yoongi's hands rub down Hoseok's shoulder, his back, places only lovers have touched. Up and down. An endless circle. An ouroboros of affection nibbling Hoseok's fickle heart. Hoseok aches harder with every passing moment.
Yoongi looks at the clock as Hoseok continues to sob. The shop should be open right now but Yoongi won't let it. It can go out of business for all he cares. As long as no one makes Hoseok get up from this chair before he's ready.
Beta instincts are fickle things, but Yoongi has always had a third sense. Something in him always knows if people are trustworthy and if they need him. Something in their scents or faces or eyes- like small planets reflecting the cosmos back to them. Do planets bear life only when someone is willing to look for them? Do people only deserve help when they're willing to ask for it? or is it like this?
Eventually, Hoseok gets his breath back in his chest and his sobs quiet down. His eyes open bloodshot. All sadness has an expiration date (thankfully). Yoongi's hand slides down his arm and gives his hand a firm squeeze (and stays there).
It's the first time someone's touched Hoseok without wanting something in God knows how long but he's too sad to properly appreciate it or savor it. (Yoongi doesn't want anything from him that Hoseok wouldn't willingly give. Doesn't want anything but his smile. fuck- he's just a co-worker, isn't he?). Who knows when the next touch like this might come? (Yoongi is going to hold his hand tomorrow because Yoongi likes holding people's hands, Jin will give him the tacit permission to do that at least. But all of the pack are keenly aware that Hoseok needs time to heal, no matter how obvious Yoongi's crush and Hoseok's needs).
(Hoseok is definitely not just Yoongi's coe-worker at this point, but saviors come from all sorts of unlikely places)
Eventually Hoseok's sobs quiet and Yoongi sighs, pulling back. He takes one look at hoseok's red nose and pale cheeks and puffs up. "I'm making your hot chocolate and you're going to tell me what's happened."
He gets up like he needs something to do. Like he's tired of taking care of Hoseok. He doesn't take it personally, he's tired of it too.
“My mates they- they kicked me out of our den,” Hoseok confesses. Yoongi's got two mugs in his hands, they thud against the counter when he reaches into one of the cabinets.
It’s warm in here but Hoseok is still thankful for the sweatshirt the beta gave him. Not only for its warmth but for the layer of scent it provides; It’s soaked with the smell of chocolate. So comforting and heavenly that it makes Hoseok a little dizzy when he tucks his nose into it and takes a hefty sniff when Yoongi's got his back turned.
Hoseok was never given the other pack's items, never allowed or encouraged to indulge in their scents. They never asked for his either.
Yoongi hangs both their jackets above the radiator in the back so that they’ll dry faster. He bears an impressive bite mark on his arm, visible because of his short-sleeved shirt. It's bruised just ever so slightly- an alpha bite but not a mating bite because betas don't mate. A mark like that on him is as good a claim as any. Even with the other scents that cling to the sweatshirt.
Hoseok hasn’t known him long, but they’re friends even if they’ve never met up outside of work. You can't not be friends with someone you spend upwards of 30 hours a week with.
Yoongi just hums. "Have you been with them long?"
Hoseok appreciates that Yoongi doesn't use the past tense, his heart too tender around the idea of endings. Some part of him is unconvinced that it really is over. A stubborn heart for a stubborn alpha.
His hair is starting to dry when he nods. "It's been a few years." Hoseok bites his lip, "I could lie and say I didn't see signs but-" his hands end up in his hair, elbows leaning against the creaking yellow table. Tugging a little. "I'm so fucking stupid."
"I don't think you're stupid," Yoongi says, hand on the back of his head. warm rough fingers. Touching him ever so briefly as he passes to put the milk back in the mini-fridge. "It's not stupid to want to find more love where you got it."
But in truth, There's not much more than Yoongi can say. Not much more that he knows to say. He'd never met Hoseok's pack. Whereas Namjoon and Jimin and the pups have a general tendency to linger around Yoongi person at all hours and locations. Stopping by to drop off coffee or just to make funny faces at him through the window when they're on their way to work. Yoongi has never met his co-worker's pack and has never seen much evidence at all on him beyond some vague hints of scents.
That alone is enough of a hint; usually, when people have packmates they're soaked in their scents. Visceral claims to keep any wandering eyes wandering still. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't wondered why Hoseok didn't wear his packmate's scents.
It’s not like the alpha smells bad at all- a little strong sure, but less genetically dominant alphas tend to smell a little sweeter like omegas.
At least that’s what Namjoon says when he feels like info dumping. Late at night when the pack asleep around them and only Yoongi's stayed up to listen. Because Yoongi likes the sound of Namjoon's voice when he gets into the details. Stroking across Namjoon’s bare chest just to feel the alpha's words rumble against his fingertips. His heartbeat against his ear the backtrack for all of it.
Whoever Yoongi’s pack is; they surely love him a lot. That much has been evident since the second that Hoseok met him. Evident in the packed bento boxes and the bunny-eyed omega that walks with him to work sometimes. Or in the tall omega and alpha pair that Hoseok has seen perusing the shelves when he comes in to relieve Yoongi of his shift.
Hoseok has worked here for 6 months. It’s impossible not to collect these details. The hickeys on his throat that he wears after weekends, how ruffled but generally loved Yoongi looks when he comes back from rut and heat leave.
“Is there a reason why they left?” Yoongi tries to be as undiscerning as possible. Voice gentle and measured. Stirring the hot cocoa and putting it in front of Hoseok.
Hoseok takes a sip and it feels like he's drinking a cup of the beta in front of him. Yoongi melts a little into the chair at the happy noise Hoseok makes.
It's good. Really good actually, Yoongi uses twice as much Swiss mix as the package instructs and a tablespoon of honey to boot. More chocolate can never be a bad thing.
Before Hoseok has a chance to respond, The phone next to the cabinet rings. And Yoongi takes it off the stand and hangs it up again in quick secession so that it doesn’t ring anymore. It has to be important but he ignores it for Hoseok's sake. Yoongi does a lot of ordering for the shop, the rare records that their boss is always trying to source and sell. It's a lot of chasing down leads and curators.
(This is not true. This is a lie that Yoongi and his boss have fed him. This phone is set up for the family's use. Hoseok doesn’t know that most of the calls Yoongi answers are more delicate than just simple stock orders.)
“I just found out that my brother has stolen from me, what should his punishment be beta?”
“How much did he steal?”
“300k”
Yoongi swallows, fighting his narrow margin of benevolence. The drops of mercy that he's allowed to show without suspicion. He tells himself that the other beta would order a far worse. People only call him when they want lighter punishment.
“A finger for every 100 then.”
The people who call ask him all manner of things. Things like “I think my child might be planning on going to the police, what should I do before anyone finds out about it?” He is both a secret keeper and a jury.
“Send them away. Out of sight and out of mind of anything that they might be able to share. I hear the military academies are lovely this year. So much snow. Yes, they take omega recruits.”
“My firstborn child presented as an omega instead of an alpha. They're my firstborn and heir, how should I proceed?”
“I can ask around for an advantageous match but I’m sorry, there is no fixing presentation.”
Hoseok hasn’t seen a phone like that in years. Didn’t even know they made old-fashioned ones like that anymore. Ones with a dial, the blue plastic worn from the number of times Yoongi's had to pick it up. It doesn't stay silent for long, ringing soon after yoongi's hung it up.
“I'm the only- they’re an all-omega group.” As if by the mention of his sub gender Hoseok’s angry burning sugar scent fills the room. In reply, Yoongi’s sweetness rises. Hoseok takes another sip and pretends it's just the hot chocolate warming his cheeks. “I guess they wanted to keep it that way.”
"I've got two omegas and they keep me on my toes, I can't imagine four." That gets a laugh out of Hoseok.
"You've got a bunch of alphas in yours though, right?" A bunch already, I wouldn't be needed. Hoseok has seen them, the tall one with dimples that looks like something out of a soap opera. The scary-looking one with the chubby cheeks who's always holding hands with the pretty academic one who likes the jazz in the corner.
Yoongi nods, "That must be nice," Hoseok's eyelashes are all clumped together from the tears. "Having so many people to take care of you."
Yoongi hums, knuckles brushing Hoseok’s hand on the table. It’s just one tender touch but Hoseok starts to break. To crumple.
Yoongi senses Hoseok breaking, pulling him in close before he has a chance to really fracture (he comes just in time, Yoongi loves Hoseok just in time). Yoongi’s scent alone is enough to soothe him- beyond the way he guides the alpha to rest against his throat. Hoseok fights it only a little, what's a little scenting among friends?
They're not just friends, it's not just scenting.
Hoseok wants to bury his nose in the beta’s throat, but that wouldn’t be appropriate, not with the scent of so many others clinging to him. He still sags into the hug. Turns his face away to avoid the temptation.
“They didn’t even tell me- and now the lease on the apartment is up and I can’t afford it on my own and-“ I’m so scared and I just wish there was someone to take care of me. I wish I was a pup again.
They sit like that at the table and Yoongi just lets him cry, He pulls back after his sobbing has cooled. They hug until they both smell like gooey chocolate chip cookies with too much brown sugar.
Hoseok sniffles, “We have to open up the shop,” Yoongi's arms tighten around Hoseok's shoulders in reply.
“It can wait a few more seconds.” Hoseok wants to say that the owner wouldn’t like that but he doesn’t.
Yoongi sips and hesitates. “Do you have a place to stay tonight?” Hoseok pauses for a second, flushing before he shakes his head. “Okay, it's okay. You can say with me.”
“Are- are you sure they won't mind?” But Yoongi is already typing away on his phone, shooting a quick text to the pack group chat (a chat that Hoseok will be added to in exactly 23 days, but who's counting?)
“Not at all. It’s a bit cramped with all of us but we have a spare bed in the closet room that Tae likes to read on sometimes- Jungkook's boss slept there last night after they came back from drinking and Namjoon was so mad- he won't be mad about you though- it's just that Jungkook- he just really shouldn't be drinking."
"Is he underaged?"
"No, he's just got health issues."
"Oh." Yet another person who gets the love he needs, the care he needs. Hoseok tries and fails miserably not to be jealous over Yoongi's omega whom he's never met.
He won't be jealous for long. Later Jungkook is going to challenge him to an arm wrestle just to prove he doesn't need babying. Beating alphas in feats of strength is his favorite thing. He'll feel Hoseok’s hand in his and get completely distracted. "Wow, you've got like- really pretty hands!" and drag them close to his to compare sizes. He'll be smitten nearly instantly with Jungkook- for what it's worth. The jealousy only lasts for a few hours.
Within a few seconds his phone is ringing off the hook, he shows Hoseok the chorus of, “Yes it’s okay!” and “Poor thing, tell him he can stay as long as he wants.” "Of course hyung!" "Does Hoseok like kimchi-jjigae or should we just order pizza?" “Oh! Can we get some with pineapple?” “Gross Jk.” "Yeah we all know Minnie doesn't like the aftertaste of burnt fruit."
And Hoseok can't help but feel like he doesn’t deserve this kindness and such an effortless acceptance. There is a knock at the front door before he can say anything. A few short taps against the glass. Yoongi tells Hoseok to stay put while he goes to deal with a pushy customer who wants in. Leaving him alone in the backroom with his cooling hot coco and the poster still staring down at him.
(They say two can keep a secret if one of them is dead, but that's not the only way a secret stays buried; the best secrets are the ones you’re not even aware of.
Out of all the people in your pack. Hoseok is the only one in possession of a secret like this. The best kinds of secrets are the ones you don't even know are secrets see- he doesn't even know that this memory is enough to save you. Hoseok is entirely unaware that in his mind lies this memory.
Hoseok was the first person to get on the no-kill list, and it wasn’t because of Yoongi.
All packmates of a Don get put on the list;
no matter if they're active or past.)
Sitting at that yellowing wood table; Hoseok feels more settled now that he knows he has a place to sleep tonight that isn’t this backroom. Pulling the sleeve of Yoongi’s sweatshirt over his palms and sniffing at the collar where it was pushed up against Yoongi’s scent gland.
If he thinks hard, he can pick out a few scents here and there soaking the fabric. (Milky Omega Jin, Honey Sweet Puppy Jungkookie, Cinnamon sweet Alpha Tae and vanil-lalalala Jimin, Coffee Alpha Namjoon and Chocolate Yoongi).
It's so different from his ex-pack's scents. Their sugary sweet omega peppermint and sharp lemony evergreen, winter berry and pine, the cold smart of snow against his nose. His burning caramel scent- so off-putting. The one scent not Christmas-themed. The one that didn’t fit.
By comparison- Yoongi's pack smells like a bakery in summer. Every scent that could be added to a cake maybe (one day, in the kitchen, he’ll eat your tiramisu and realize yes- that’s exactly what it’s missing. Your cakey scent makes them all complete, the warmth of baking things).
He has somewhere to go now. Somewhere to be. Someone to trust. He trusts Yoongi- even if they’ve only known each other for a handful of short months.
And Yoongi’s pack can’t be worse than his last one.
As if in reply to Yoongi’s phone (buzzing with more texts that he doesn't check because Hoseok is nothing if not respectful of people's digital privacy. If he checked he would see "Is that the hot coworker you're always talking about? The one who always looks a little sad?")
Hoseok’s phone buzzes with the notification he's been waiting for.
Pack Omega 🌙 calling.
Pick up? Decline?
Hoseok hasn't yet gotten around to changing her contact information. He scrambles at it, spilling the hot cocoa across the table as he rushes to pick it up. Scrambling to get to it before it goes to voice mail. Blood pounding in his ears.
Hoseok’s voice is broken as he says his pack omega’s name, his old pack omega’s name.
“Byulyi- Moonbyul please-”
Moonbyul is cold on the other side of the phone. Maybe she’d have liked him more, and wouldn’t have given up on him if he didn't beg. But Hoseok has never been above begging. Not for love. Not for the thing he wants and needs the most. Hoseok needs love more than air and as Yoongi said- it's easiest to go looking for love where you once got it.
Even when you know it could hurt you.
Her voice is flat and unaffected. “I just wanted to make sure you found a place to stay tonight. Are you still going to be around to give the landlord the keys?”
Hoseok finds himself nodding even though he knows she can’t see him. “Yes- I can do that, I can do anything you want. Can we talk?”
“No.”
“Moonbyul please-”
“Goodbye Hoseok.” She says, hanging up after a second. Hoseok looks at the phone. Pushing the button to redial. It doesn't go. She’s already blocked him.
It will be a long time until Hoseok hears from his last pack again, a long long time until he says their names again. He will remember the way he’d begged, the way her name had sounded smack dab in the middle of it. And hate hate Hate how it makes him feel. He won't ever say their names, regret and self-disgust getting in the way.
It's a little funny, thinking of how different things might have gotten if he'd just told yoongi their names. If he hadn't let his alpha pride get in the way. A few days from now they'll talk about it together. "I don't like the way saying their names makes me feel- it feels- I hate how much I want to say it- to see them again- saying their names just reminds me of the power they had over me."
Never again, will Jung Hoseok beg for someone to give him the bare minimum. This is his lowest point. The moment where it shifts- for good.
His head is in his hands when Yoongi comes back into the room. Still sniffling, crying yet again. Yoongi sets a palm in his hair, ruffling it. Eyeing the spilled hot cocoa with a raised eyebrow.
“If you wanted coffee you could have just said so-“ he makes an attempt at levity and is rewarded with Hoseok’s small snort. Wiping his wet cheeks. Neither of them is aware of the secret. Neither of them is aware and so much worse off for it."
Hoseok grins, “Are you buying hyung?”
~-~
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Notes:
in the story there has always been this question- mainly raised by jimin during his secret chapters- if the m/c is actually in love with them or if she's just manipulating them- at the beginning of this chapter- we actually see jimin finally dispel the last bit of him that thinks even a little bit that this is the case. once he sees how much she put her body on the line- that question isn't even in the back of his mind- even a little. i ended up re-editing this part alot because of it.
every time i write something from jimin's pov i'm always like "why is everything so meandering? why are things disjointed?" and then i remember that's literally jimin's character- that he is in a lot of ways an unreliable narrator.
(TW) i have this idea in my head that namjoon DOES NOT become a good person in the event that all of them die like- a whole separate idea of him becoming a doctor for the family through yoongi's connections with the soul purpose of one day killing moonbyul and her entire pack…including their pups on accident which ends up destroying the last bit of namjoon's innocence as a person…and he ends up becoming one of the families assassins alongside jimin as a result, in this event jungkook does not stay with them and instead moves on and yoongi stays and tries to get them to stop only to ask them to kill him as their last kill because he's unable to cope with the loss of jin, hobi, the m/c and tae. BUT ANYWAY I DIGRESS THAT IS NOT THIS STORY.
i think in this story there is this really interesting dynamic of femininity and death and morality- that being said red nail polish is definitely a metaphor for whose comfortable killing and who isn't. i like the contrast between tae who will never wear red nails again- vs the moon pack who all are not allowed out of the nest if their nailpolish isn't perfect like- thats another layer of the fucked up shit.
are you suprised that the m/c is going to leave? Did you see it coming from a mile away? i mean...it is in the title of the series 😈
….the parallel between hobi losing his voice and the m/c not having a voice at the beginning of the series- you can project whatever meaning you want onto that <3
also on that subject the line "Jin’s hands. Your face. Tae’s head. Hoseok’s throat. Each of you has lost the thing most necessary to your survival." it's worth mentioning that thats not what i think is the most necessary thing to their survival but it is their own interpretation of what keeps them alive. like i for one actually think that the m/c is a lot more pragmatic than anyone gives her credit for but i digress. i could go on about all of their strenghts.
what did you guys think about hobi's secret reveal???? a fair amount of people have guessed it and i think when someone got it at the beginning of the series i lied and said it wasn't- i'm allowed to be an unreliable narrator too!!! kudos to everyone who got it! i feel like it could have been revealed better and originally the big one off was slated for next chapter but i decided to shift it to this one (mostly because i think the next chapter is about to get up there in terms of word count tbh 😭) but T-T its done now! please give me praise because i'm baby and this week has honestly been really hard
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deepdarkdelights · 1 year
Text
Perfection | Jin x Reader
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Pairing: Vampire Jin x  Reader 
Word Count: 16k
Series: (6/7) Predator Universe
Warnings: 18+, NSFW, Yandere, Obsession, Fear, Non-Consensual Kissing, Non-Consensual Touching, Dub-Con, Cunnilingus, Breaking and Entering, Symptoms of Panic/Anxiety, Stalking, Depictions of Gore, Blood, Anger Issues, Dismemberment, MC had a fear of death, MC has agoraphobia, but MC is in therapy (good for her), Jin is kind of an asshole but we love it, kind of pet-playish(?), Jin is basically a sugar daddy tbh 
I do not condone the acts displayed in this story nor do I believe any members of BTS would actually engage in this type of behavior. This is simply written for entertainment purposes and should not be taken as a reflection of my own values, opinions, or morals. 
Preview: Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you. 
A/N: I have been working on this fic since July and I am so happy that it is finally done and you guys will be able to read it! I really hope the time this took was worth it and that the fic was worth the hype lol. It’s almost one thirty in the morning and I have a quiz so I really should be sleeping. I think this is one of my favorite installments of the series! I hope you enjoy the fic and as always I can’t wait to see you in my inbox and my comments. Ily 💜💜💜
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Kim Seokjin had not only a pretty face but a brilliant mind as well. 
At least, that’s what he told everyone. 
If there was a singular sin that he could fully encompass it would be vanity. And the sin that he shared with nearly everyone in his “family” was that of pride: a deadly and violent mix. That blend was what led to his damnation.
He knew that he deserved only the best and nothing less, that was exactly how he had been raised when he was still human. In the late 1800s, he had been granted the privilege of being born into high-class society as the eldest son, the heir to the Kim legacy. Everything he wanted was directly at his fingertips and at his disposal. From the moment he was born he was guaranteed power, and that was something he wished to never lose. 
As the heir to a luxury wine company, it was only expected that alcohol, parties, and lewd behavior were set to follow him, and he exceeded those expectations. But he was good at keeping business and pleasure as two distinctly separate functions. 
And with the life he lived, it was not often that individuals met his expectations. And by individuals, he meant potential wives. Naturally, it was expected of him to marry and continue the family's legacy. But the gold spoon that he was born with in his mouth tainted the pool. No one was good enough for him and that caused much strife within the family. 
He was well past the age of marrying at twenty-eight years old. He was beginning to feel the pressure his father and mother were putting on his shoulders. And, not to mention, he was well aware that he was aging. Of course, he would never admit that his looks were fading. There was not a crease in his skin or a gray hair to be plucked, but he could feel it. He could see the minute imperfections that no one else could. It made his skin crawl in disgust. 
And then Kim Namjoon entered the frame and everything began to come together. 
His mother had insisted on organizing yet another party to find him a wife under the guise that he was there to make several important business deals. But when the vast majority of partygoers were young women with stars in their eyes he knew what was really going on. And of course, he was not going to stick around and socialize with subpar candidates. If he were going to do that it would be restricted to his bedroom, of course. 
Namjoon had come to that party that night, Yoongi in tow despite his protests. Namjoon was a cultured man, he liked to mingle with the members of high society from time to time. It helped him learn what was appropriate for the decade as trends (in manners, clothing, and amusement) came and went rapidly. And those who belonged to the upper class were those who set those trends. It was strategic and it helped his kind blend in as seamlessly as possible. 
And Jin was the epitome of a high-class man. 
And so, Namjoon and Yoongi befriended him. It hadn’t been hard for them, they had been around for so long that they fit right in. And Jin had merely thought he found more of the few people that could meet his high expectations - his small inner circle growing with two new additions. But of course, that friendship had started out with the purpose of using Jin for what he had. 
So in turn, he used them. 
While Jin had a pretty face, he actually was quite smart and observant. He took note of his companions' odd behavior. He never saw them during the daytime, only in the veil of the night. They had the oddest colored eyes - not quite black but a deep shade of burgundy like the embers of a smoldering fire laid within their depths. And they were cold, absolutely frigid to the touch like a corpse. It didn’t take him very long to piece together what they were, and it was only proven true when he caught the both of them feasting on lifeless corpses in his guest room. He timed everything just perfectly to discover their true nature. 
Yoongi had seemed genuinely surprised, bloody lips parted in shock as he stood as still as a statue, the limp body still collapsed in his iron grasp. 
Namjoon, on the other hand, was smiling. He too was not able to conceal his nature any longer but he wasn’t trying either. He took his time and continued to finish his meal despite the obvious living human presence in the room. 
“You two have been holding out on me,” Jin said with a disappointed tone. 
“Holding out?” Namjoon echoed before relaxing his arms and allowing the corpse to slip down to the floor, the thinnest drizzle of blood pooling onto the parquet flooring. 
Yoongi could only stare at the both of them, his eyes darting back and forth between the two other men. 
“Yes, holding out! You are immortal are you not?”
“Yes, we are, and I’m sure you’ve figured out the rest by now haven’t you?” 
“You may have been able to fool all of those other halfwits but it was painfully obvious to me, of course.”
“Of course.” Namjoon nodded while trying to suppress an amused grin. 
“I want in, I wish to join you and your kind.” 
“No,” Yoongi immediately cut in, “You don’t know what you’re asking for, this is a curse it is not something to take lightly and flirt with the notion of.” 
His tone was harsh, his face stern but there was evident pain behind his eyes. Yoongi had been forced into this life if that was what you could even call it. He couldn’t fathom someone willingly agreeing to eternal damnation and he would try his hardest to convince them otherwise. 
“Are you denying me?” Jin asked, his face contorted in utter disbelief. He was never denied anything in his twenty-eight years of life and the feeling of rejection was infuriating. 
“Yoongi, it’s his decision,” Namjoon interjected, his hand wiping the blood from his mouth leaving a streaky crimson trail behind. 
“You’re not actually considering this, are you?” Yoongi hissed.
“What is there to consider? He’s already seen us and he knows what he wants.”
“He has no idea what he wants!” 
“And why are you speaking for me? Just because you’re miserable and dissatisfied does not mean the same will be said for me!” Jin spat. “I grow tired of this human body. Every second of every day I feel myself wasting away and there is not a thing I can do about it.”
“You would throw away your humanity, your life, all in the name of vanity?” Yoongi asked in disbelief. 
“And for greed as well,” Jin laughed, “Believe me, I am many things and one of them is self-aware. I am a selfish bastard and I am perfectly fine with that. I won’t allow my looks to fade and my fortune will grow as centuries pass. This is what I desire and I refuse to concede.”
He was a businessman in every aspect. 
“It sounds like he’s made his choice, Yoongi.” Namjoon finally spoke.
“It sounds like he’s made an ignorant choice and I refuse to have any part in this,” Yoongi said, storming past the two of them and slamming the door shut with enough force that the mahogany wood cracked by the handle. 
“So, are we going to fuck about or will you give me what I want?” Jin asked, his impatience growing. 
“I consider you a good friend, Jin. I won't lie, I am pleased that you are asking this of me.” Namjoon smiled before grabbing Jin’s shoulder, “We’re all lonely children looking for a place where we belong.” 
Lonely children, that was one way to put it. Namjoon was not entirely wrong. In a world where you deserved only the best, many fell short and in the end, you were painfully alone, whether you were willing to admit it or not. 
“Before we go through with this, there are some things you should know.”
“What things?”
“You can’t go in the sun, not just yet, you’ll be far too young and far too sensitive to light. Quiet, dark, scentless places are going to be the best place to stay - your senses are going to be heightened tenfold. You must feed often in the early years, you’re going to be very hungry, bloodthirsty really so you need to stay away from large crowds of people.” 
Jin was silent for a moment, his eyes shifting from left to right and back again as he processed everything he was told. He could manage, and he could figure out how to do all of those things while maintaining his position as an heir. 
“Lastly, do not try and do this alone. In our world, there is strength in numbers as well as safety. You’ll have to stay with me and Yoongi, we will all be bound to one another as creator and creation.”
“So when you two leave…”
“You will follow.” Namjoon nodded, “We try to stay in one place for as long as we can so if it’s your family you’re worried about you’ll have plenty of time to figure something out.” 
But they weren’t coming with him. As terrible as it was, that wasn’t a great enough reason to sway his decision. He still wanted what he desired and he was willing to let his family go. So he stuck out his hand, ready to shake on the agreement. 
��I accept the conditions.” 
~~~~~~~
Most people were afraid of spiders, some of heights, and many feared drowning. But you feared something a bit more abstract and with a bit more finality. You were afraid of aging and by association, you were incredibly afraid of death. 
And that fear often leads you to do a few things. One of them was to start skincare at an absurdly young age. The other was to hermit yourself inside of your house out of fear of some horrific accident befalling you. And the other was to seek out strange and obscure places to visit before you die. It was odd that the last two coincide but they do. 
There were days when you were so frightened that you couldn’t stand the thought of leaving the comfort of your bed. And then you had days where you felt daring, if you were going to die one day would you really want to have lived your only life trapped inside of your own house? There were your good days and your bad days and they came and went like the tides.
Today was a “good” day. And by good day that meant you were on your laptop scrolling through forums trying to find a new place to visit. Living in a small town was hard, you knew everyone and every place because they were so few in number. But sometimes there were locations in between towns, or hidden spots in your own. Briar Hills is an old town, a historical town even. It’s not uncommon for places to be abandoned, concrete skeletons collapsing and being devoured by the flora.
It was finding them, buried in hundreds of posts, that was difficult. The teenagers in the town had taken to reclaiming those places, turning them into party spots in the blink of an eye. But that has changed in the past few months. Ever since the first body turned up. 
That was the thing about small towns, murder was much rarer than the action that cities see. So, when dozens of corpses begin to show up in streams and lakes and people begin to go missing without a trace - panic ensues. As well as a town-wide curfew. 
Briar Hills turned into a ghost town after dark. The streets would be empty, lit by a few lampposts spread down the street that was easily consumed by a thick, hazy fog. Every now and then the fog would be broken by police lights, red and blue shocks of color dispersing the mist as the night patrol came around the block. It looked like something out of a horror movie. 
And, if it weren’t a good day, the sight alone would be enough to keep you corralled in your room. But it was a good day and you had become stir-crazy from staying in your house for the past few weeks.
After endless scrolling there was one post in particular that caught your attention. It looked like an extravagant invitation with a satin black background and deep red embellishments. It had very little interaction and it was written in a completely different language. For something as obscure as an abandoned place in a small town you weren’t surprised that it had gone unnoticed, especially considering few people checked this forum. 
Putting the text into google translate had not been insanely helpful. The translated text was jumbled and made little sense, it was one of those languages that did not thrive when it came to longer translations. But you were interested and fairly stubborn and after extended research and decoding fragmented sentences you were left with this:
“The best bite I’ve ever had,” And following that was a set of coordinates that had been written out instead of just using their numerical counterparts. 
You were interested. 
What could that mean? Maybe it was some hole-in-the-wall restaurant, but why all the decorum? Why the translations? Who even uses coordinates anymore? The best way to get the answers you desired was to discover them for yourself. 
That’s how you ended up sneaking out of your house, dressed head to toe in dark colors, like some teenager that’s about to disappoint their parents. Except, in this case, your parents were the cops, and being grounded would equate to being detained for violating the town-wide curfew. All the more reason to not get caught. 
You started to get cold feet when you realized where the set of coordinates was leading you, your body came to a fast stop when the toes of your boots met the edge of the forest. The forest, at night, with low visibility, and predators prowling was a bad move. That just screamed a sudden and violent death, not to mention the bulk of missing persons' corpses had been found within its depths. This was a stupid idea, a bad move, but it was a good day and you were too stubborn to follow reason. You would make up for it tomorrow by hiding in your bed all day. It was an unhealthy coping mechanism, but a coping mechanism nonetheless. 
You took a deep breath, squared your shoulders, and took a step forward. There was no going back now, you had made up your mind.
The further into the forest you trekked the quieter it became. It didn’t make sense. You were getting further from society so why was it so quiet? The wind was still, not a branch or leaf trembled, and not even a cricket dared to chirp. It was like every living creature had up and left, abandoning their home. The only sound that filled the static silence was the bubbling rush of water from the river. 
You began to walk faster, your nerves urging you to get where you were going and be done with it. On top of that, your eyes were starting to play tricks on you, your brain attempting to make sense of the dark and fill in what was missing resulting in ominous shadows shifting through the trees. You were regretting your decision immensely, so you picked up the pace and began humming to yourself to fill the silence. 
If you were being honest, you really had no idea what you were supposed to be looking for. The post hadn’t listed much of anything and you weren’t sure what would be at the end of the coordinates. But, the red light glowing in the distance was a sure sign of something. It grew more intense as you neared it, the light getting stronger the closer to the ground it was. When you finally pushed through the underbrush you were met with a set of concrete stairs leading down into the ground and at the very bottom was an old metal door with a faintly pulsing red light above it. Looking down at your phone you were able to verify that you had made it to where the coordinates were marked. 
It was a bomb shelter. It was most likely one for the community back in the forties, an evacuation and safe point for those who didn’t have their own. It must have been abandoned and forgotten about after the war, left to rot there for the past eighty years. But if that light was anything to go by, it must have been reclaimed by someone. 
You carefully stepped down the stairs, applying a little weight at a time to make sure that the concrete hadn’t eroded and wouldn’t crumble beneath you. When you reached the bottom you tried the door and to your surprise, it opened with a creak. There was a long tunnel just barely lit by candles lining the walls leaving deep shadows in between them. And now you could feel the walls thumping, steadily vibrating with a muffled bass. That meant there was another chamber somewhere. 
You hesitantly traveled down the tunnel, long stretches of the floor would eventually give way to more stairs leading you deeper and deeper underground. This was a claustrophobe's worst nightmare. The more you walked the harder the walls vibrated until you finally came upon another door where the sounds became the loudest. Above the door hung a purple neon sign that read: “Blood Sugar.” 
Upon testing the door handle, you were surprised to find that it was unlocked, and once it slowly swung open your nose was assaulted with the scent of alcohol, sweat, and a coppery odor. You swiftly entered and closed the door behind you, trying your best not to bring too much attention to yourself. But it appears you would have no trouble doing so. 
The room you had stepped into was massive, the walls were tall and rounded out at the ceiling and were made completely out of metal. But it was far from a barren, abandoned bunker. The room was packed with people, some dancing, some drinking, and others wrapped around one another on the various red velvet chaises spread around the space. The music was loud and the room was lit by antique chandeliers as well as deep purple lighting casting an ominous glow over everyone. 
The bunker had been converted into a club of some sort and despite the decrepit tunnels you had slunk through to get here, it was surprisingly luxurious. You were honestly surprised the entire town hadn’t known about this place. That much was certainly true because, despite the large crowd, you could only recognize about five people you had seen before. The massive gathering was largely that of people that were not from Briar Hills. 
A set of delicate hands slithered around your waist, tugging you sharply towards the stranger behind you. A shout of surprise parted your lips as you turned around, slapping the offending limbs off of you. 
There was a tall woman facing you with a grin on her face, her bright white teeth glinting from behind her deep red lips. Her skin was so pale it was glowing with a purple hue from the lights, her long black curls creating an even sharper contrast against her skin. And you couldn’t explain why you felt the way you did, but the sight of those bright white teeth had your stomach twisting in knots. Despite her delicate appearance, every red flag was being raised in your body. The urge to run was strong. 
“Hello, sweetheart,” She crooned, “You’re new, aren’t you?” 
Something in the back of your mind demanded you lie. 
“No, I’m not. If you’ll excuse me,” You said, your voice steady and cold despite the goosebumps on the back of your neck and the rapid thump of your pulse. 
As you went to walk past her she easily stopped you with a hand on your shoulder, her face suddenly incredibly close as she pressed her nose to your hairline and took a deep breath. “Oh, you can’t lie to me, I remember every sweet little snack that comes in here.” 
What. The. Fuck.
“Look, I’m not interested in…whatever that means,” You huffed, taking a few steps back and breaking free from her steel grasp, “I’m just here for a drink.”
“Oh?” She hummed, “So am I, I’m glad we can cut to the chase.” 
“Okay?” You slowly asked before shuffling around her imposing figure, “See ya.” 
You slipped into the crowd, forcing your way through the bodies in an attempt to shake her off of your trail. Anybody else in your position would have lingered for the ethereal woman, but you couldn’t ignore that feeling in the back of your mind or that tug deep in your gut. She was dangerous, and no pretty smile or sweet words could hide it. It was in times like these that your intense fear of death became present as paranoia, warning you of all potential threats.
When you started therapy you were encouraged to slowly step out of your comfort zone, to do things that would combat your anxieties. So, on good days, you try your best to succeed with these short-term goals hoping in the long run you could live normally like every other person your age. But you often found your anxiety creeping up on you and you knew after tonight you would need the rest of the week to recover and that meant avoidance which meant hiding out in your rented duplex. 
But for now, you had to cope. 
When you broke free from the crowd you stumbled forward, a stray limb jabbing you in the back and sending you reeling onto one of the velvet chaises. To your utter embarrassment, you landed right next to a couple that had left all of their inhibitions at the door like many other patrons of the underground club. The woman was straddling the man's thighs, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as he buried his head in the crook of her neck, her long locks obscuring his face. Although you couldn’t see what he was doing it didn’t take a genius to figure out what it was as the woman’s mouth opened to let out soft moans of pleasure. 
Heat rushed up to your face as you stumbled off of the chaise and backed up from the voyeuristic lovers. Of course, you weren't innocent, but seeing something like that in person was different from shamelessly reading smut at three AM. 
A few feet away from the couple was the bar. It was surprisingly empty for a club. The man you assumed to be the bartender behind the countertop was relaxing against it, his dark eyes scanning your awkward posture. 
You swiftly approached the bar and yelled over the music, “Hi, how much is water?”
He gave you an amused chuckle before grabbing a small leather menu and sliding it over to you, “We don’t serve that here, sweetheart.” 
You stared at him in confusion before flipping open the menu. The only thing listed there were various wines all costing an exorbitant amount of money, and by that, you meant at least three months' rent and that was just for a glass, not even the bottle. 
“These prices are insane, are you kidding me?!” 
“They’re from 1889, newbie.” He smiled, a grin identical to the woman from earlier. 
“Well, this was a bust.” You groaned, the initial buzz of excitement from finding a town secret had long since faded. 
“Can I offer you some advice?” 
“Be my guest.”
“You might want to pay more attention to your surroundings, you’ve had eyes on you since you stepped foot in this place.” 
Your eyebrows furrowed as you peered over your shoulder. Sure enough, there were a few dark eyes staring back at you - but there was one pair in particular that really caught your attention. There was a man in a roped-off section of the club, a velvet curtain drawn to the side to reveal him seated on an ornate chair. He looked like a king watching over his people, and you meant that not only because of his position but because of his features as well. It was undeniable that he was the most attractive person in the room, hell, the most attractive person you had ever seen. Smooth pale skin, plush lips in a permanent pout, dark eyes, and the widest set of shoulders with a slender waist. He was a work of art. He had this look on his pretty features as if he had just tasted something bitter, and that look was directed behind you. 
“If I were you, I would get out of here. Things get crazy with fresh blood, ya know? The people here are like sharks in the water.” The bartender said, regaining your attention. “Uh oh, looks like you got one on your trail.” 
You followed his and the pretty stranger’s gaze behind you. It was her again, the woman from earlier. She was slipping through the ocean of moving bodies with ease, her gait like that of a jaguar on the prowl as she approached. You watched as her polished fingers wiped away what looked like stray lipstick from beneath her lips. 
Without thinking you darted away from the bar and past the pretty man, rushing through the first door you found which turned out to be the bathroom. Once the door fell shut you felt like you could relax for a moment. The music was muffled allowing you to think coherently for the first time since you had entered the bunker. Everything had become far too stimulating and you could feel your anxiety rising. 
You leaned against the sink, turning the water on ice cold before splashing your face so that you could shock yourself back into clarity. You allowed yourself to brace the sink and relax your body, focusing on your breathing and grounding yourself before you lost control, just the way you were taught to. 
The feeling of ice-cold fingers on your shoulders threw all of your work away. 
You yelped and flinched, your eyes flying open to see her standing behind you in the reflection of the mirror. 
“I knew you were a shy little thing, you should have just told me you wanted to do this privately.” She sighed with a sickeningly sweet smile. 
In a moment of flight, fight, or freeze your body chose for you, your legs running without you telling them to do so. You didn’t make it far, not before she grabbed hold of you and threw you up against the wall. Your head hit the tile behind you so hard you saw stars. 
“I’ve been hunting you down all night, you’ve made me build up quite the appetite. Do you know how many others I’ve had to threaten to get to you? Everyone always wants to take someone’s first bite.” 
What the fuck was she talking about? 
“While it was cute at first, we've played this game for long enough, don’t you think?”
“Let go of me!” You yelled while grabbing her wrists and trying to pry her hands off of you. To your complete and utter shock, she didn’t move an inch, it was like her bones were made of iron - immovable and inflexible. 
“Now, now, don’t go throwing a tantrum that won’t get you anywhere.” She sighed, sliding her hand up your shoulder to wrap around your throat and squeeze. 
Your throat and lungs burned as her grip slowly increased its pressure, your eyes watering as broken gasps and chokes for air gurgled past your lips. 
“There there, much better.” She whispered into your ear as she released your throat, your body going limp as you gasped for air. 
She easily gathered you up into her arms and softly tilted your head to the side, her perfectly polished nails grazing over the stretch of skin as she hummed before pressing her cherry-red lips to your throat. 
“Don’t worry, you’ll feel a slight pinch.” She joked before her jaw widened and a demonic hiss left her throat as her teeth grazed the soft flesh of your vulnerable neck. 
But before she could sink her teeth in she was harshly ripped away from you, her perfect face slammed so hard into the bathroom wall that the tiles shattered upon impact. A loud cry of pain echoed throughout the room as she pulled herself from the wall, black blood was pouring from her crooked nose and her sliced lips. 
Behind her stood the stranger from before, a miffed and frankly disgusted expression marred his stunning features. 
“What the fuck, Jin?!” She screamed, cupping her injured face. 
“She’s not a fang banger, Junghee.”
Her once flawless features froze in shock as a look of horror crawled over her face. It was the look of someone who realized that they had made a horrible mistake. 
“You’ve really fucked up this time.” He growled in irritation, a genuine growl that had your skin crawling. 
“Well, how was I supposed to know?! What is she even doing here?!”
“That’s none of your concern anymore, get the fuck out!” He yelled, ripping the bathroom door open and throwing her out of the room. 
You stayed pressed up against the wall out of pure terror. Vampires, you had walked into a fucking nest of vampires and had the closest brush with death you’ve ever had in your entire life. Your gaze remained locked on the vampire, Jin, as he calmed down; the waves of his rage slowly dissipating. In this lighting, you could finally see what you hadn’t been able to before in the dim club. Under the fluorescent lights, his eyes gleamed a vibrant, intimidating red. 
You winced in fright as he took a step in your direction, your body attempting to meld into the wall behind you. Jin raised his eyebrow in questioning, taken aback by your apprehension. It wasn’t often he had humans cowering in fear, usually, they shook from…something else. 
“Enough of that, come along human.” He snapped, grabbing you by your sleeve and easily dragging you from the room despite your protests and your heels digging into the ground. He was pulling you as if you weighed nothing. 
“Let go!” You shrieked in terror, struggling against his hold with all of your might. 
He came to a sudden halt, gripping you by your shoulder and pulling your body so close that there was barely an inch of space left between his chest and your own. 
“Don’t you think you’ve drawn enough attention to yourself tonight?” 
You peered over your shoulder, and sure enough, there were several of his kind watching the two of you from the dance floor. Their stares were curious and hungry. Unconsciously you shifted closer to him, choosing the lesser of two evils, one vampire versus many. 
“Look at that you’re smart, for a human.” He snickered before guiding you back to the curtained area you had seen him sitting in before Junghee had cornered you in the bathroom. 
“Sit, stay.” He said with a smirk as he pressed you down by your shoulder onto one of the couches before gesturing for someone to close the thick curtains. 
“Look, I just want to go home. I won’t breathe a word about what happened here or what this place is, it was a mistake coming here.” 
“A mistake indeed, but a mistake that needs correcting nonetheless,” Jin said with a distressed roll of his (impressive) shoulders. “So, tell me human, how did you find this place?” 
You sat there in silence for a moment, your face the perfect image of confusion, “Are you being serious right now?”
“I don’t recall telling a joke.”
“You - there was a post online, on a forum? Anyone could have found it if they were looking close enough, it really wasn’t that hard to find. All I had to do was translate the text and it told me where to go.”
“A…forum?” He repeated, clearly confused. 
Dear God, he was an old-ass vampire who didn't know much about technology or even the internet. He didn’t even know he had advertised the place. He was just an old man in a young man’s body. 
“You know, a forum, it’s online, it's where people who want to discuss a certain topic go to. I was looking for obscure places, abandoned buildings, and lesser-known spots in town. I found the posting for this place and it just said ‘The best bite I’ve ever had’...I didn’t know it meant literally.” You said, your nerves leading you to ramble on and on. 
Jin’s eyes pressed shut, his face contorting in anger as a hiss parted his lips, “Jimin.”
Jimin and himself were the only two vampires in their coven that knew about the club Jin hosted. Jin had been careless one night and Jimin had followed him, discovering the secret he had kept well hidden. Jin bought Jimin’s silence initially with limited access to the place, but now he was regretting every interaction he had had with the short vampire.
One of the few times Jin had found himself getting on with said vampire had led him to express his annoyance with the lack of human stock for the club. In turn, Jimin had offered to help “advertise” in exchange for unrestricted access to the club. 
Now that he had figured out how the little human had snuck her way in, he had to decide what to do with her. He could always kill her, that would be the simple answer. He could drain her dry and snap her pretty neck in an instant. But that wasn’t really his style, he typically preferred to savor his meals unlike his gorger of a “brother”, Jungkook. 
Perhaps the human could serve a purpose for him. 
“Come, human.” He beckoned with his fingers.
You remained frozen in your seat, your body still in active survival mode keeping your joints locked. 
Jin sighed, clearly miffed by your disobedience. He rose from his own seat only to cross the room and sit next to you. His long fingers gripped your chin and jerked your head up, forcing you to look at him. His hold was ice cold, the chill from his touch steadily seeping into your jaw. You felt paralyzed by his intimidating crimson gaze. His eyes flicked quickly over your features as he turned your head from side to side, taking in your every pore. 
“Not bad, for a human. Don’t feel too offended, it’s difficult to look as flawless as myself.” He said with a casual tone as if he were merely stating a fact. 
“You look pretty average to me,” You blurted out the lie, your lips moving before your brain could stop you from verbalizing. 
It was so fast you almost couldn't see it but it was there, his left eye twitched and his grip tightened forcing a slight whine of pain from you. He roughly jerked your head to the side, choosing to ignore what you said despite how much it clearly bothered him. Instead, he trained his focus on your neck, pulling the collar of your shirt down past your collarbone.
“Smooth,” He observed, his icy touch skipping over the skin of your throat, “Junghee didn’t sink her dirty fangs in you after all, that’s good.” 
Without warning he leaned down, his nose skimming over your neck as he breathed in, flooding himself with your scent. His grip tightened as you yelped and tried to jerk away from him in fear that this time you would surely die at the hands of a mythical creature, a monster in the flesh. 
You squeezed your eyes shut as you felt his plump lips brush your throat, his cool breath fanning over the skin and leaving goosebumps in its wake. His actions were reminiscent of a wine connoisseur, the way they studied the body of the wine and the aroma. He was assessing you - attempting to decide if you would make a good meal, that you were certain of. 
You jerked as you felt him bury his face further into your neck. You could feel the slight flutter of his eyelashes against your skin as a groan parted his lips. 
“Well, don’t you smell delicious?” He crooned, his tongue swiping over his lips and just barely ghosting over your throat. “I think that we can come to an agreement, does that sound nice?” 
“What,” You paused to clear your throat, “what did you have in mind?” 
“I’m glad you asked,” He said with a wink after pulling back from you, “You see, I think we could mutually benefit from one another’s company. While breaking your pretty little neck would certainly be the easiest way out of this problem, I do find you quite amusing, pet.”
Your body grew stiff as your mind conjured up the image of his strong hands severing your vertebrate in one smooth pull, your body falling limp and lifeless on the club’s floor. Your greatest fear was death and Jin was death incarnate. He could very easily take your life if he so desired and he was making that very clear. He cared not whether you lived or died but only if your presence benefitted him in some manner. Your life was inconsequential. 
“Very few people meet my standards but you are very lucky, I have a rather refined palette and it just so happens you meet said standards. So, I would like to propose a business arrangement. You will be my sole donor and keep those pretty lips sealed about everything you have witnessed tonight and in turn, you get to keep your life.”
“And if I don’t agree?” You dared to ask. 
A sneer marred his perfect face, his fingers gripping your chin and forcing you to look at him in his blood-red eyes. 
“Then your pathetic human life ends right here, right now.” He said, his hand slipping down your jaw to loosely wrap around your throat. He could feel your pulse steadily thumping against his hand causing his mouth to involuntarily pool with saliva, hunger twisting in his gut. 
Your breath hitched, fear slicing down your spine like a violent chill. You knew you only had one choice, and that was to appease the monster that sat beside you because he was far less frightening than the unknown, than the certain embrace of death that waited at every corner. 
When fear rules your life, you have no choice. There is only ever one option. 
“I agree,” Your voice trembled as you swallowed uncomfortably under his grasp. “I’ll be your donor.” 
“Splendid.” He said with a grin, his canines glinting under the light. 
“Can I…can I please go home now?” You asked, clasping your trembling hands together to try and still their shaking. 
“No, there are a few more fine details we have to iron out,” He said, his index finger lightly tapping your chin, “Firstly, I expect you to maintain a healthy lifestyle and that means no alcohol within a twenty-four hour period before we meet and certainly no smoking it’s a dirty and disgusting habit.”
You nodded slowly, trying your best to avoid looking into his piercing red gaze. 
“Try your best to have a healthy diet as well, the junk you humans gorge yourselves on taints your flavor, it’s unbearably sweet.” He said with a wrinkle of his nose in disgust. “I will compensate you for your efforts and your donations, once I’ve deemed you satisfactory, of course,” 
“I think that about covers it. And when I call upon you I expect your presence. Do we understand one another?” He asked with a tilt of his head. 
Your throat was far too tight, your eyes burning with unshed tears as you weakly nodded in agreement. 
“Very good,” He hummed before leaning back into the couch and soundly tapping the top of his thigh, “come, pet.” 
You sat still, your body frozen in shock as you were unsure if you had heard him correctly. 
“Well?” He raised his eyebrow expectantly. 
“I…I don’t think that, um-”
“Are you going to keep babbling and test my patience, or are you going to be a good little pet and do as I say?” He interjected and immediately you remembered the phantom feeling of his hand on your throat, the light grip that screamed threat. 
You awkwardly shuffled on your knees across the couch and hesitantly settled your legs on either side of him, hovering so that your weight did not rest on his lap. In response, he firmly gripped your hips and harshly pulled you down onto him, pressing you directly against him in a way that sent heat rushing beneath your skin despite the evident chill that emanated from his body. 
You could see his fangs even clearer now. They had become longer than before, the sharpened points dragging along the flushed skin of his plump lower lip. You were terrified by the thought of them piercing your thin flesh. What if they punctured your jugular and you bled out to death? What if he had just been playing with his food this entire time, instilling a false hope of survival in you just to watch with murderous glee as you realized you were meant to die the entire time as he drained the life out of you? 
And then what? The void of inevitable nothingness? The abyss of the afterlife? You were spiraling now, you could feel it in the way your chest constricted and your breaths came out in panicked, short huffs. 
A soft, wet, stroke against your throat pulled you from your frightening thoughts. As your vision cleared you realized that he had settled back into the juncture of your neck and shoulder, his tongue gently and steadily lapping at your skin. Despite your embarrassment, you could feel your body slowly relaxing and melting against him. It felt like you were being shot up with a tranquilizer, your muscles going weak from his ministrations as the skin of your neck went numb.  
And within seconds his fangs were sinking through your flesh, easy and smooth. You jolted in response, a cry of pain leaving you as your fingers curled into the silk of his shirt while your body subconsciously leaned away, trying to escape the sudden painful stimulus. 
In response, you could feel Jin’s arms tighten around your back and harshly pull you flat against his chest with an animalistic growl, one that immediately paralyzed you with fear. 
The vampire beneath you was enraptured, completely lost in the feeding frenzy as rivers of blood flowed freely past his plump lips and poured down his throat. Your scent had been seductive, but your taste? It was better than any wine, better than ambrosia and nectar, it was addictive. So addictive he was unsure if he would be able to stop but at the same time aware he could not kill you because the rest of his immortal existence would be utter hell if he were unable to get another hit. 
Kim Seokjin had a refined palette and high standards and few people met his expectations. But you? You were complete and utter perfection. And he deserved perfection. 
His grip was too hard, unrelenting, crushing you against him. You wouldn’t be surprised if he cracked your spine by accident. It was like he was afraid to release you, afraid that there was a chance you would be able to escape him, the apex predator. 
But these thoughts were all uselessly whimpered in the back of your mind because the rest of your brain was completely flooded with euphoria. You had never felt so warm and tingly despite his cool hands in your entire life. It was almost like an out-of-body experience, the only thing keeping you grounded in existence was his tight hold. And there were other feelings as well, feelings you would have been ashamed of had your inhibitions not completely disappeared. Feelings that had your thighs clenching on either side of his waist, your heart beating pathetically fast, your pupils dilating, and your limp body helplessly rocking against him with his hands guiding and encouraging you. 
This was completely out of character for you. You didn’t climb into random men's laps and writhe against them eagerly like you were in heat. That had never been who you were, but the position you were in now clearly said otherwise. 
You were growing lightheaded, not only from arousal and euphoria but from blood loss as well. You weakly pushed at his chest, your innate desire to survive prevailing over the pleasure that had relaxed your muscles. 
“Jin, please,” You whimpered, struggling to speak. 
The vampire didn’t respond or relent, his arms still wrapped around you like a vice. In desperation you wound your arms around his neck, your fingers tangling into his hair and tugging at the roots. The pull certainly took him off guard, his fangs sliding free from your throat and his perfect lips parting to release a startled moan. 
His eyes were half-lidded but his red irises still burned brightly under the dim lighting, a perfect match for the blood that stained his lips and chin. He said nothing at that moment and from what very little you knew about him you could conclude that it was not often that he was at a loss for words. 
Warmth trickled down your neck, rivulets of blood still flowing freely now without him there to catch them and that seemed to snap him back to attention. He slowly leaned forward, maintaining eye contact with you until he was level with your throat once more, his tongue darting out to lick up the trails of blood before tracing over the puncture wounds he had left behind. 
Your hold on his shoulders did nothing to dissuade him, in fact, he quite enjoyed your weak attempts to keep him at an arm's length. Humans were so fragile, so weak, and he enjoyed that.  
“Relax,” He breathed, “We have a deal, remember? It would be a waste to drain you dry in one night.”
“And how do I know you don’t just like to play with your food?” You asked. 
“You don’t. You’ll just have to take my word for it, pet.” He smirked, tapping your chin with his finger. 
“You’re not going to kill me?”
“Let’s just say your sample was more than satisfactory, I have no reason to take back my word just yet.”
Yet. And yet, he was actually letting you go. 
“I’ll see to it that you make it home safely,” He began. But before he could finish speaking you were eagerly sliding off of his lap. 
His hands caught your waist easily, one holding you steady and the other firmly grasping your chin between his thumb and forefinger forcing you to look him in his eyes. 
“Remember, I call, you answer. As long as you abide by my rules we won’t have a problem.”
You nodded quickly, his words barely registering in your brain as your body took control. You would agree to anything that would keep you alive.
“Don’t disappoint me.” 
~~~~~~
Days had passed since that night at Blood Sugar, days where Jin had not tried to contact you, days that you spent isolated in your house - a wave of agoraphobia so strong that the thought of passing a threshold frightened you to the bone which was beyond ironic considering your situation. But those days also led to you trying to convince yourself it had all been a bad dream. 
If the encounter at Blood Sugar had in fact been real, you had little to show for it. The skin of your throat was smooth and untouched despite the fangs that you were certain had torn through it like paper. The only parting gift you had was the urge to sleep for days, a splitting headache, and a touch of soreness around your ribs where you were sure his arms had once restrained you. 
Pretending it hadn’t happened was easier on your mind. Your whole world had been turned upside down and the monsters you once thought to be the stuff of stories had been pulled from the shadows and abruptly thrust into the light. It was easier to pretend it was a dream. But you couldn’t shake those blood-red eyes from your memories nor the show of pure strength that had been demonstrated against Junghee - her once perfect face that was so easily disfigured by the elder vampire. 
You were afraid of death and the realization that it actually lurked at every eerie corner and you had sat in its lap like a contented house cat was enough to fry the connections in your brain. 
And you could only pretend for so long. You could only ignore reality for so long. 
It had been three weeks since you had seen him when he finally confirmed his existence in the form of a simple text. 
“Hungry, you know where to find me.” 
And that made your blood run cold. It was time to finally face reality, you had actually made a deal with a vampire and now he was cashing in on your promise. It was donate or die. 
And in an absolute panic, you made a terrible decision. You placed your phone face down and retreated beneath your blankets like a small child hiding from the boogeyman. 
Your phone did not cease to remind you that you had made a bad decision. The messages started sporadically - spread out throughout the hour. But Jin’s impatience grew as did the texts and calls. The eerie silence of your bedroom filled with a continuous buzzing as your phone continued to vibrate until you couldn’t take it anymore and without looking at a single message you shut down your phone. But that only brought temporary relief. 
You were begrudgingly pulled from the safety of your bed that day for an inspection your landlord had scheduled two days prior. There was no getting out of it and in your mind, it was a welcome distraction from the spiraling anxiety you felt when you thought about your powered-down phone. 
You had no way of knowing that their presence would only worsen the problem that you had created. 
You were generally a quiet person that kept to yourself around strangers, especially strangers that had a say in whether you continued living in your home or not. You practically stuck yourself to the walls as she inspected your home, and while your landlord was not necessarily a mean woman she wasn’t very chatty. You two got along in those regards. 
You were able to breathe when she gave you an awkward, tight-lipped smile, waved, and closed the door behind her. 
As soon as she was gone you rushed back into your bedroom and just barely pulled your curtains aside to peer out your window and watch her retreat. But when you did look out that window you felt your blood run cold. She was still there, standing on the walkway, and directly in front of her was him. It was twilight out, the sun still desperately trying to cling to a purple and ochre colored sky. It was safe for him to be out. He was giving her a charming smile, one that anyone would fall over at the sight of. You could see him laugh and then say a few words but you were too far away to make out what they were. And then to your utmost horror, she walked away and he made his way up the front steps. 
You were frozen, your muscles tense, and refused to move. You held your breath as you listened. There was no way that he could get in, you hadn’t given him permission. But all of your hope washed out of you when you heard the front door’s knob turn and the soft click of it leaving the frame. There were a few light steps and then the door shut once more. 
He was inside the house. 
You felt absolutely helpless as all you could do was wait for him to find you. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, you were cornered. 
It was only a matter of seconds before he did find you, a stern and angry expression clear on his face as he rounded the banister and the stairs and stood right outside the door frame of your room. His eyes were different now, they weren’t the vibrant red that you remembered. They were a deep burgundy now, almost black as they stared back at you with intensity. You couldn’t even make out the difference between his pupils and his irises. It was a bottomless, dark gaze. 
“How did you get in?” You asked, the words rushing out of you to your own surprise. 
One of his dark brows quirked, whether it was in surprise or irritation you did not know. 
“Elaine let me in,” He said with a stomach-turning grin. 
Your landlord. She technically owned the house, she could let him in even if you didn’t invite him. 
“I thought I made myself clear when we spoke, did I not?” He asked rhetorically, “I call, you answer, I feed, you keep your life. What part of that did your little human brain not comprehend?” 
“You called me?”
“Don’t play dumb with me.”
“My phone died-”
“Don’t make me repeat myself!” He snapped, his voice shockingly loud and incomposed. 
You flinched back against the wall as he finally entered your room only to stop dead in his tracks not more than five feet away. His eyes widened, his nostrils flared, and his fangs descended on instinct. 
The two of you stood there, both staring at each other and refusing to move, waiting for the other to act first. 
Jin was the one to break the stalemate. 
“You’re on your period.” 
Your eyes widened in embarrassment, warmth radiating beneath your skin in response. He could smell it, that was the only explanation and that was a mortifying thought that had you pressing your thighs together, tight and closed. 
He looked shaken, frazzled, and incredibly unlike himself. His rage was forgotten, his hunger controlling him. He was gripping the footboard of your bed, the skin of his knuckles stretched taut as he held onto it like he was keeping himself grounded. 
“I want a taste,” He said, staring you down without a single blink. 
It took you a moment to comprehend what he had just said, and as soon as you connected the dots you were anchoring yourself to the wall and vehemently shaking your head. 
“No, no way!” 
“Yes,”
“No! That’s messy and gross and I never agreed to do anything like that with you!
“I’m hungry,” He hissed, “And you expect me to just leave when you smell like fucking heaven?”
“Yes, because everything about this is crazy! I don’t know you, I never wanted to find you and now I’m stuck with you until you ultimately decide to kill me so I’m sorry that you’re hungry but it’s not even my problem in the first place!” 
That was the one upside to being on your period, the influx of hormones allowed you to become confrontational. 
“I’ll pay you double for a feed directly from the source,” He said with gritted teeth. 
Jin was never one to bargain, usually he would leave a deal with far more than the other party. But this was something he refused to pass up. Vampires, very often, had little to no inhibitions especially when it came to sex. Sex was often a co-occurrence with feeding, and menstruation was the epitome of that. He didn’t expect a pathetic little human like you to understand. You were fettered by mortal concepts that had forced you to believe you were to be a social pariah during that time, that it was “gross,” as you had said. Little did you know you were considered a delicacy in his world, ripe for the taking. And he knew how delicious you were when he fed from the vein, his mouth watered at the thought of what it would be like now. 
Your silence to his proposition only frustrated him even more. 
“Do you know how many people would die to be in your position right now? I’ve had women beg to be on their knees for me and I’m offering to pay you to do the opposite.”
You were sure that he was telling the truth because he certainly was the most breathtaking man you had ever seen in your entire life. But what confused you was why he didn’t just throw you down and do as he pleased. He was bigger than you, stronger than you, and far faster than you. If he wanted it as badly as he claimed, why was he bargaining with you? You could only assume it was the lingering effects of the era he had lived in. While he was an asshole, perhaps he took no joy in forcing himself on a woman in that manner.
And then there was the money. Rent wasn’t cheap, that was for sure. And not many people could say that they were paid to be pleasured. It wasn’t a terrible offer, and the last thing you wanted to do was displease a vampire that could kill you and had threatened to do so before.
Shit. 
“You wont hurt me?” You asked, your voice wavered. 
“Quite the opposite,” He smirked. He knew that he had won. 
A gasp of surprise parted your lips as he closed the distance between you, moving so fast that a gust of wind whipped up ruffling your hair and sending loose pages of paper tumbling from your desk. Your heart stuttered in fright, every minute you spent with him only served as a reminder of how dangerous he was. This arrangement you had with him was dangerous, you were toeing the line between life and death and that thought made your stomach turn in unease. He was a vampire, an apex predator, a creature that you had stopped believing in long ago, but also the undead embodiment of death. The very thing you feared the most. All it would take is one moment of frenzy, a lack of control and you would be left to bleed out in your sheets with no one to come and find your remains for weeks to pass. 
You didn’t want to die, but you knew he wouldn’t let you live. 
The touch of his cold fingers to your waist brought you back to him as he tugged you toward your bed, pressing you down onto the sheets before moving over you like an animal on the hunt. His eyes were pitch black, the veins beneath them prominent, and his fangs dangerously grazed his plump lips. He looked like a fallen angel, like Lucifer himself, the most beautiful outcast of them all. 
An involuntary cry of fright left you as he moved impossibly fast once more, his face now level with the side of your head, the tip of his nose just barely brushing over your cheek as he chuckled. Even his breath was frigid. 
“You’re nervous,” He hummed in delight, “Careful now, we wouldn’t want your heart to stop, would we?” 
He could feel the violent, rapid thumps of your heart where his chest was pressed against yours. It had been a long time since he had had a human like this, oftentimes he found it too annoying. They were fragile creatures and having to restrain himself was rather inconvenient, but he preferred his partners to be responsive when he had his way with them, unlike some of his kind who couldn’t care either way. Was it still necrophilia if both parties were technically dead? 
And while your heart was making itself known, you could feel nothing in response. His heart didn’t beat like yours, it had gone silent long ago and that thought only reminded you of just how wrong this entire thing was. He was dead, but you couldn’t wrap your mind around how he also seemed so very alive and while that scared you deeply, it also ignited a disturbing thought within you. But that thought was quickly halted when he noticed your lack of attention on him. 
He hated that your attention wasn’t on him. 
An annoyed growl rumbled in his throat as he moved back, quickly going down the length of your body and ripping your shorts down your legs, exposing you to the cold air. 
“Jin wait-” It felt as if all the air was sucked out of your lungs as he ignored you, plunging his face directly in between your thighs. 
He was unlike any of the partners you had had before. He did not take his time even though he evidently had plenty of it. He didn’t warm you up with gentle words, pleasing touches, or lingering kisses. Instead, he was absolutely ravenous. It was just like he said, he was hungry. But you, on the other hand, had not been prepared in the slightest for how sensitive you would be. 
You could only whine in discomfort as you tried to clench your thighs closed, one hand coming down to push at his shoulder. Your actions were completely useless, no matter how much force you could use it was like pushing against a concrete wall - he was immovable. 
You could feel him growl in annoyance which only sent a shock throughout your body, your hips twitching and your shoulder blades digging into the mattress. His fingers were harshly pressing against your thighs, forcing them open wider and hooking your legs over his shoulders so that he could get impossibly closer to you. 
“Too - too much!” You barely managed to get the words out, your body jolting from sharp bursts of pleasure. 
“Be a good pet and take it for me,” He crooned, parting from you for a mere moment to look up at you - his bright crimson eyes cutting through the darkness that had steadily filled the room. “I thought you said you would do anything to keep your life?”
You couldn’t explain the feeling that his words gave you, but the shame that lingered was recognizable. Shame that enduring pleasure to ensure your survival was an addictive cocktail of emotions. 
You couldn’t even form a response in time before he returned back to his feeding, his soft lips and firm tongue caressing you in a way that made you realize he was actively trying to make you feel good instead of solely focusing on gorging himself on your blood. You had no way of knowing that that just made the feed all the more enjoyable, the rush of hormones in your body only adding to the flavor. It was a flavor he already knew he was addicted to and while he was reluctant to admit it to himself, it was a flavor he could not live without. 
And with each feed there were more problems to come. While he knew his blood, saliva, and venom were incredibly intoxicating to your weakened human state - he underestimated the effect you would have on him. With all of the hormones his bite coaxed out of you there was one pesky one that affected him: oxytocin. It was a bonding hormone, one that fostered a relationship between feeder and donator which was why so many vampires rarely fed from the same human more than once typically preferring to drain the body dry and dump it anywhere to rot. 
He was willingly making himself vulnerable to you all in order to get another fix, another hit of your blood. And the worst part was, he didn’t mind. 
“Jin!” You cried. 
He was disgusted with himself, disgusted by the way his body shuddered and was aflame with tingles at the mere moan of his name rolling off of your lips. It was nothing special, countless others had done it before you, but he couldn’t understand why it was you. Why were you special? 
He could blame it on the damn hormone bond all he wanted, but this was only the second feed which meant, to his utmost horror, it was him. His interest in you, a human, was more than just superficial desire. 
Oh, how far he had fallen. 
He smelled your salty tears and he could even see the gleam of them as they rolled down the curves of your cheeks as your hips pitched forward, broken whimpers wracking your body that only served to drive him crazier. He could drown in you and it still wouldn’t be enough. 
And as soon as all of the tension within you snapped he was digging his fangs into the meat of your thigh, fresh, hot blood rushing over his tongue and down his throat. The blend was intoxicating for not only him but for you as well - the bite secreting venom that doubled the effects of all of his efforts that lit your brain and body on fire. You could become addicted to him just as easily as he was to you because that feeling, that feeling was indescribable and would never be able to be replicated by anyone but him. Just as he was chasing you for his fix, you could easily see yourself doing the same. 
When you came too, you were startled by the gentle touch of his tongue to the puncture wounds on your thigh. It soothed over the cuts rhythmically, urging the skin to sew itself back together again. And while he worked, he stared. Bright, crimson red eyes were trained on you. His gaze dark and dangerous. Your body that had once been limp and relaxed immediately tensed once more. The knowledge that a predator was nestled into your lap was enough to reignite fear in your chest. You feared that the slightest twitch or breath would signal for him to lunge again, but this time the outcome would not be so pleasurable for you. 
But Jin was a man of his word. You didn’t die that night and your bank account was fed in due course. 
This continued for the next six days. Whereas before it seemed like the vampire was able to abstain from feeding for as long as he wished, he had now become ensnared by a ravenous, bottomless hunger. And that was all the more frightening. But what was even more frightening was the way he began to change. 
He was still rude, cold, and dominating. But he had become ever present. His closeness could be described as suffocating. The only solitude you could find was in the daylight, but the minute the sun began to set he was back and hungrier than before. And after the…feeding, he would linger. He would touch you more often, his words still snarky but lacking their usual bite. It was like he was becoming comfortable around you. He was still insufferable, but undeniably comfortable. 
It was that comfortability that encouraged you to entertain that dark thought you had tried to smother before. Your ever present fear of death could easily be solved, the answer to your problem mere inches away from you. You understood the gravity of the situation, what it would mean to become something like him. But you couldn’t deny the truth that you could live with ending the lives of others if it meant you could sustain your own. You didn’t want to die, you couldn’t fathom dying, and you had an undead man at your disposal. If he was willing. 
It was after your seventh session together that you decided to finally ask him. His cherry red lips were pressed against your throat, swallowing every last drop of blood that slid down your skin. Your neck stung and your body thrummed with ecstasy, your fingers cupping the back of his head on reflex - moving without your permission. 
“Jin?” You asked. 
He hummed in response, visibly enthralled by the feed but letting you know he was listening anyway. 
“I want to be like you,” You whispered. 
A slick pop echoed in the room, his fangs pulled from your neck and retracted into his mouth, disappearing from sight. His eyes narrowed, his dark brows drawing together in confusion and distaste. 
“No,” He simply said, retreating to the foot of your bed. 
“Why not?” 
“Because you would be useless to me, that’s why. What good is a donor that’s dead?” He scoffed. 
You couldn’t deny the ache you felt in your chest, the sting that “useless” struck against your heart. 
“You’re…you’re going to grow tired of me eventually. I’ll get old, I won’t taste as good anymore. Then, I’ll be useless.”
“Oh, I plan to savor every last drop that you can offer. I won’t let you go to waste like that, you are mine after all.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean? You’ll just kill me before I go bad? Put me out of my misery before I can rot? I’m a fucking human being not a piece of meat!” You yelled, angrily standing up from your bed. 
You expected him to become enraged, to become violent. But if anything he was deathly calm, still, and silent. 
“Wouldn’t that be a kindness,” he stood from the bed, now towering over you, “To not have to grow older, to be in pain? To just stop here where you’re perfect, when you’re young and beautiful?” He said with a soft caress down your cheek. 
“But you could give me what I want,” You pleaded, “You would never have to see me again, I could go far away and I wouldn’t be your problem anymore.”
A frown pulled at his lips, frustration falling over his features, “It’s not as simple as that. You would be bound to me, there are rules about these things.” 
“Rules? Like laws, is there someone in charge of you?”
“Don’t bring that Twilight bullshit into this,” He hissed, running his hands through his hair in what appeared to be distress. 
“Then I don’t understand, why can’t you do this for me? I’ve done everything you’ve asked! I’ve given you everything you wanted so that I could stay alive! Why can’t you understand that I don’t want to die!”
“Because you don’t understand what you’re asking for!” He snapped. 
In that moment, he was brought back to that fateful day all those years ago. Yoongi had warned him, he had tried to stop him and he hadn’t listened. And now, he was being faced with a painful reminder of his naivety and arrogance when he stared back at you. Jin never regretted becoming a vampire. He never regretted his inability to grow old or the only way he was able to satiate his hunger. He enjoyed it. But if there was anything he didn’t enjoy, it was being under the control of someone else. 
“We would be connected for the rest of eternity. Anything I ask of you, you have to do. You can’t deny me even if you tried. And even if you ran, you would eventually come back whether you wanted to or not. I would be your sire, your creator, you couldn’t hurt me no matter how badly you want to. We would be stuck together, do you understand?” 
If there was anything he was afraid of, which he would never admit to, it would be having to rely on someone like that. It would be loving you, obsessively loving you like he felt the desire to creep over him. While he refused to admit it, all of those feeds had done their toll. He could feel the tugs of a weak bond forming between you - begging to be strengthened by a little of his own blood and a swift death. If you stayed human, he could save you from the fate he suffered through. And if he killed you, then no one else could have you. It was insane, but to him it was incredibly logical. 
You had been quiet for quite some time, your face pensive before you finally spoke. 
“That doesn’t sound all that different from our current arrangement.” 
“Ugh, you’re insufferable!” He yelled, grabbing the closest thing to him and flinging it across the room in a show of strength and anger. So this was what Yoongi felt like. 
“You’ve exhausted your usefulness to me,” He spat in rage, “Good luck defending yourself on your own.” 
And just like that, he was gone. The only remainder of his presence was the broken chair that lay in pieces on the ground and the huge dent in the plaster from where it had hit. 
You couldn’t stop the sudden wave of tears that poured down your face. That had been your only way to cheat death, and he wouldn’t give it to you after you had given him every piece of yourself that he had asked for. 
The silence was loud, your sniffles and your pounding heart painfully apparent. But what was even more apparent, was the sense of paranoia steadily creeping over you. 
What did you have to defend yourself from now that he was gone? 
~~~~~~~
Jin was starving. 
Even he was not so thick-headed that he couldn’t see what he was doing. He was throwing a temper tantrum. 
He had left you for a month now in what was supposed to be a break that would teach you a lesson. You weren’t allowed to make demands from him, you weren’t the one in control. But if there was anything he had learned from his pathetic plan, it was that you were very much in control. 
You had managed to burrow your way into his unwilling, stone cold heart. A feat that no one in his human and vampiric life had managed to do. The very thought itself made his stomach turn. He had never had to depend on anyone else, he never wanted commitment in that sense. Yet here he was yearning for you, a pathetic little hermit. His pathetic little hermit. 
He let out an audible groan, collapsing back against one of the velvet couches in the club. The blue and red lights flashed over his face, his stomach rumbled in pain. He had thought it would only take a week for you to break, just a few days before you apologized and begged for him to come back. But he had greatly underestimated you. 
It had been a month and he hadn’t fed. Everyone else paled in comparison, their blood sitting on his tongue like spoiled milk; he couldn’t even manage to swallow a drop. And that was completely his fault. This was why he was warned not to keep feeding from the same source. You were bonded now and he was suffering because of it. 
He had never felt so backed into a corner before. And the fact that it was all because of a human was just salt in the wound. He thought that time would sever the bond but in reality, distance had just made it grow stronger. 
Even now he was certain that he could smell your scent sifting through the hazy air, it’s tendrils beckoning him to come find you. 
It was the prick of his fangs against his lip and the sudden pool of saliva flooding his mouth that made him realize it was anything but a fantasy. You were there. A wave of satisfaction rolled over him, you had broken first in a stalemate that you were unaware of. He had won. But any excitement he felt about his win was quickly thwarted when he was reminded of the present danger. You, who smelled so heavenly, had once more crawled into a nest of vampires. 
He quickly lurched to his feet, cutting through the crowds of vampires and humans alike in order to find you. You were in the most dangerous spot in Briar Hills and he could not protect you. His abstinence had greatly weakened him, he could only hope that no one else would be aware of that. He was the eldest there and he was in charge, that should be enough to keep everyone else away from you. 
Well, all except one. 
You hadn’t even seen her coming, her or her “friends.” You had just barely managed to step foot inside the bunker before she was ripping you back outside, moving so quickly that your head was spinning and your neck burned with whiplash. 
You moaned in pain, one hand cradling the back of your neck while the other dug into the damp earth in an attempt to ground yourself from the violent pounding that vibrated all throughout your head. At first you were utterly dumbstruck, confused as to what exactly happened. But the swift kick of a pointy shoe to your ribs rolled you onto your back and allowed you to be faced with four pairs of glowing red eyes. 
The pain in your head was quickly overshadowed by the hot shooting pain in your ribs. Your spinning head could just barely register the loud crack that had sounded when you were kicked. What looked to be an effortless, swift strike from her was enough to break your ribs. 
“Hello sweetheart,” A familiar, sickeningly sweet voice crooned. 
It was her, that vampire from a month ago. The one that Jin had saved you from. 
Cold shocks ran through your body as you panted, grabbing your side as you tried to scoot away. 
“Ah, ah, ah,” She teased, grabbing you by your ankle and roughly pulling you back. Another sickening pop echoed through the night as a violent scream tore its way free from your throat. 
“Now, I’m not letting you get away from me so easily this time. You really pissed me off, and now you’re going to give me what I want.” 
You had no time to react and nowhere to run to. She and her friends descended on you like a pack of hungry vultures. They ripped at clothing and jostled you around like a toy they didn’t want to share. And all four of them dug into you. With Jin, there had been little to no pain. But this was the worst pain of your life. You could feel teeth digging into you, ruthlessly cutting through your flesh and ripping it apart. Hot, thick blood was pouring out of your wounds, drenching your skin and your clothes in an instant. 
There was nothing you could do but scream, cry, and shake. 
You were helpless and soon you were going to die. You had no doubt that they had every intention to bleed you dry. You felt like you were on the verge of passing out. Your greatest fear was suddenly becoming a reality and there was absolutely nothing that you could do about it. Death spared no one, especially you. 
And for a moment you thought that death really had come for you because the pain was suddenly wrenched away. 
You laid there, groaning in pain as you listened to what was happening. You could hear her low, sultry voice, the sounds of hits landing, and a deep, rumbling growl that shook you to your very core. It wasn’t death, but it was a close second. Jin had found you. 
You forced yourself to open your eyes and look, you struggled to turn your head but when you did your heart dropped. Half of her group collapsed, in various states of injury. But Jin was the worst. He was barely managing to stand and he looked so weak. His cheeks were gaunt compared to the last time you had seen him, the veins beneath his eyes prominent and exposed. But worse of all, he was coated in his own blood. It stuck to him like an oil spill, pouring from wounds that were trying to heal themselves albeit very slowly. He wasn’t going to make it out of this; he was too hurt, too weak, too hungry, and outnumbered. 
“I knew it,” Junghee giggled, her voice pitchy with murderous glee. “I could smell you all over her, you bonded with her!” 
Jin said nothing. He wobbled, his chest rose and fell rapidly with angered breaths. 
“Oh, how far you’ve fallen, Jin,” She sneered, “So high and mighty and look at you now. You’re no better than the rest of us - in fact you’re weaker than us! I’m so sick and tired of living under you and your rules, I think it’s time someone replaces that coven of yours. It’s time for a new jurisdiction.” 
“I’ll give you one chance to get on your knees and beg for forgiveness,” He said with a deathly calm voice. 
“I’m going to rip you apart and burn the pieces. And when I’m finished with you, I’m going to drain your little pet dry.” She said with a cocky grin. 
Jin hummed in response, his head slightly tilting back as he thought. His eyes seemed to glow even more intensely in the dark, a ring of light shining around his irises as he spoke. 
“That’s an interesting idea. Tear each other apart.” 
You stared in shock as they immediately obeyed his command. It was mind-control, he could compel individuals to do his bidding. How many times had he used it on you and you had gone on unaware of it? 
All four of them turned on one another, rushing at each other with abandon. It looked like they were marionettes, like someone else was controlling their limbs and forcing them to do as he commanded. You watched as the four of them attacked each other, clawing at their friends and prying their limbs from their bodies. The sounds were horrific. You could hear them screaming, crying, gurgling, and begging for it to end as they tortured one another. Black blood sprayed and stained their hands and faces as they ripped each other apart limb by limb. 
Your stomach rolled at the sight, your wounds flashed hot with pain, and your ribs and ankle throbbed in sympathy as they violently mutilated each other until they couldn’t reach one another anymore - their limbs dismembered and useless. 
You choked down the bile that threatened to escape your throat. They had tried to kill you, they were getting what they deserved. They were going to do the same to you and Jin.
Jin. 
You caught sight of the vampire a few feet away from you. He had fallen to the ground after he had issued the command. His body was unnervingly still, his skin ashen and the sickliest pallor you had ever seen. He was dying, you were sure of it. That was something you had thought to be impossible for his kind but here he was proving you wrong. It was possible, but hard to do. 
You felt a surge of adrenaline wash over you. You couldn’t let him die, he was your one chance to avoid that very same fate. You needed him just as much as he needed you. If you could help him then he would owe you. You could get the immortality that you were desperate for. 
You cried out in pain as you rolled onto your side and crawled to him. Each inch you moved felt like you were being stabbed along the way. Your body was crying in protest but you were on a mission. 
When you finally closed the distance between you, you could breathe a sigh of relief. He was hurt badly, but he was still “alive,” if not barely. 
You grabbed him by his shoulders and slowly, painfully, dragged him into your lap. Your body threatened to crumble beneath his weight as you guided his head to the open wound on your neck. This was a risk, a really big risk. You were hurt badly and you had already lost so much blood, but you were sure that he would be able to stop. 
“Come on, Jin,” You encouraged him, cupping the back of his head with your hand, “Come on drink, you need to drink.” 
You felt a cool puff of breath on your neck, his nose slightly skimming over your pulse as the scent of blood pulled him out of unconsciousness. And as soon as he was awake, his predatory instincts took control. He lunged forward, wrapping you up in a vice like grip as he dug his fangs into the already open wound. 
You hissed but held still, allowing him to get his fill. He was scarily inhuman at that moment. Jin had fed from you many times, but he had never been like this before. Silent, overbearing, and territorial. 
Your eyes began to flutter, they were feeling incredibly heavy and it was becoming hard to keep them open. You had lost too much blood, you were still losing too much blood. 
“Jin,” You croaked, “You need to stop.” 
He ignored you and continued drinking, only digging his fangs in harder to force more blood from your throat. 
“Jin please stop, please,” You cried, “You’re going to kill me!”
When you realized he wasn’t responding, that he was too enthralled by the feeding frenzy, you began to fight. You tugged at his hair, pushed at his shoulders, kicked at him with your good leg but it all was for nothing. 
He let out an animalistic growl, squeezing you tighter before roughly shoving you to the ground and pinning your wrists above your head. He groaned in delight as your fighting ceased, as your blood flowed more easily into his waiting mouth. 
You were fading fast, your visions steadily beginning to black out around the edges. He was going to kill you, and just like before there was nothing you could do about it. You were utterly helpless. 
Your own desires would be your downfall. Just like Icarus, you had flown too close to the sun. 
~~~~~~~
When Jin came to, he was confused. 
He couldn’t remember anything after he had ordered Junghee and her coven to dismember one another. But when he became aware, he quickly figured out what had happened. Their corpses were sprawled about, their limbs still occasionally twitching. 
And you were there, scarily still in his arms with the remnants of your blood on his lips. 
He didn’t expect a wave of grief to wash over him. He hadn’t felt that even when his own family died or when he watched them mourn the loss of a son that never truly perished. But the sight of you, your broken body limp in his arms was enough to force a choked sob out of him. It was painful, it was complete and utter despair. 
It was in that moment that he realized he did love you. In some horrific twist of fate, he loved you. He once thought that he would be able to kill you, then no one else could have you. But he didn’t anticipate the pain that it would cause him. 
A soft, weak flutter halted all grief he felt. It was your heart. Your little human heart was still trying to beat. You could still be saved. 
That was how he ended up here, with the only person he knew that could fix you. 
“So, this is what you’ve been doing with all your free time.” Namjoon hummed, checking over your vitals. 
Jin stayed quiet, nervously clenching and unclenching his fingers. At that moment, he understood what Yoongi went through. If he believed in karma, which he didn’t, he would have been able to appreciate it. This was what he deserved after what he put Yoongi and the fledgling through. But Jin was far more determined to keep you human than his “brother” ever was. 
But it was undeniable that he could finally understand him. He finally knew what Yoongi was trying to protect him from all those years ago. 
“Junghee really did a number on her. I’ve given her an awful lot of my blood to heal her wounds. It would just take one quick break, Jin. You said it yourself, this is what she wanted.” He mused. 
“She’s my pet, nothing more. She’s useless to me as one of us, I want to make her last as long as I can.” He said with a warning glare.
“It’s useless, you know, lying to me. I could smell it on you the second you came through the door. You bonded with her, she’s yours now. Do with her what you will, but she will join us soon. Whether it’s you or me, well that’s entirely up to her. But I have a feeling she would let any of us do it at this point.” 
“You wouldn’t-”
“Oh, but I would. Remember this, everything I do is for our family. You helped me with Yoongi, you understood then what I was trying to do. You can keep playing with her for a little longer, but she will join us. Don’t make me command you, Jin.” 
Jin’s back stiffened, that familiar tug in his brain was there. That feeling that he needed to fulfill his creator’s wishes. And so, he bought himself some time. 
“I don’t think it’s her you need to be worried about,” Jin said, that cocky edge to his voice back once more. 
“Oh really?” Namjoon asked, leaning forward in interest. 
“When was the last time you checked in on Hoseok?”
Namjoon’s brows furrowed in thought. Jin had got him, this was what he was good at - misdirection. 
“Hoseok too?” He mumbled to himself. “Don’t you find it odd that this is all happening now? Yoongi and the fledgling, you and your pet, Taehyung and the little human he keeps in his studio, and now Hoseok? How interesting.”
He knew about Taehyung? But he hadn’t said anything about Jimin or Jungkook. He didn’t know everything. He had two more bargaining chips to buy himself more time. 
“Watch over her, make sure she doesn’t hemorrhage. You’ve done a good thing, Jin. Thank you.” Namjoon said before briskly leaving the room - his office that now served as a hospital for you. 
He wasn’t so sure that he had done a good thing. He was paying for what he had done to Yoongi now, what would come to him next now that he sold out Hoseok. And what about Jungkook and Jimin, what would happen when he revealed their secrets as well. 
That was all he could think about as he waited for you to wake up. Namjoon’s blood was doing a thorough job. He was old and strong and because of that your body was mending itself incredibly quickly. 
The only thing he hated was that you smelled like him. It was Namjoon’s blood in your body and because of that you were practically emanating his scent. Your normal heavenly essence was murky in the haze of his creator’s and it would take some time for it to dissipate. He was going to have to live with it for the time being. For now, he needed to figure out how he was going to protect you from the fledgling and from Hoseok. One was hungry and the other was certainly going to be pissed with him. 
But if he could keep you like this for a little while longer it was worth it. 
Your heart monitor was starting to accelerate, the beeping became loud and frequent. You were awake. 
He slowly raised his head to look at you and he felt his stomach drop. You were giving him the thousand yard stare, your frail body tense on the mattress. You were utterly and completely frightened of him. 
Your name left his lips in a hushed whisper as he stood, moving closer to your bedside. You shrieked and huddled into the furthest corner that you could. 
“Stay away from me!” You yelled, crossing your arms over your chest in an attempt to block yourself off from him. 
“I’m not going to hurt you,” he said, his tone the softest it had ever been, “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Let me go, I want to leave. I don’t want to see you ever again, I want to go home!” You were rambling now, every frightened word running out of you with a gasp. 
“You can’t leave, it’s too late now.” He said apologetically. He had never apologized before. 
“I want to leave!” You screamed again, “You tried to kill me! You said you wouldn’t but you did! You lied, you’re a fucking liar!” 
“I’m in control now, that’s never going to happen again I swear.”
“You’re a fucking liar!” You screamed again, your words trailing off with a broken sob. 
He had felt grief when he thought he had killed you, but now he was experiencing heartbreak. His first, genuine heartbreak. He thought seeing your lifeless body was bad, but this, this was somehow worse. 
He was suddenly overcome with the urge to comfort you, to hold you. And so he tried. The second he picked you up you began to writhe, screaming obscenities at him and clawing at his skin. You were trying to do anything you could to get away from him.
The last time he had held you like this, held you this close, he had tried to kill you. Your body and mind were completely in survival mode now and you needed to get away from him. 
But he wouldn’t let you budge. He pulled you into his chest and wrapped you in a tight embrace, pinning your arms in between the two of you so that you couldn’t hurt yourself while trying to hurt him. All you could do was scream and cry and writhe but eventually your body went lax when you realized it was pointless. There was no escape. 
Your brush with death had only made you more frightened of it. You had met that dark, empty void and the void had stared back at you. What some might have found to be peaceful, you had found to be terrifying. And, as a result, you were terrified of Jin. He had brought you to that void and your body was certain he would escort you back. 
“I’m sorry,” He finally said, the words not burning him like he once thought they would for the longest time. “I’m sorry.” 
You sniffled as you limply laid in his hold. You could feel the soft touch of his lips against your cheeks, collecting your tears as they brushed by in the lightest of kisses. 
“Never again,” He mumbled, “I promise.” 
You whimpered once more, the word liar echoing in your mind. 
“I’ll give you what you want, I swear. You’ll never be that close to death again, I’ll keep you safe. Just give me time.” 
You slightly perked in interest. What you want…what you want. He’ll give you what you want. You tilted your head up at the same time he went to kiss your forehead, only for him to gently kiss you instead. He froze for a moment, still as a statue as he processed what he had done before he did it again, and again, and again. It was like he had discovered a new insatiable hunger that he couldn’t settle no matter how many times he tried. 
“I love you,” He admitted so softly against your lips that you thought you had imagined it. 
He loved you. He was going to give you what you wanted. You had almost died. He was a liar. Your mind was reeling. 
“No one else can have you, not even death can take you away from me; because you’re mine, remember?” 
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1K notes · View notes
angstics · 7 months
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3.3k words summarizing queliot if you've never seen the magicians. or if youve seen it and you want to indulge in my insane criticisms. lord touch his mind
okay so the magicians was a tv show about a bunch of post grads learning magic in magic university then discovering that the fantasy world from a kids book series was actually real and the Beast of that world was out to get them. WHO GIVES A FUCK. the crazy people were focused on the relationship btwn main character quentin coldwater (depressed, heart on his sleeve, surprise sex maniac who is new to magic and loves those books) and gay best friend eliot waugh (substance addicted (big surprise!!), gay trauma, named after evelyn waugh oh you know…) they form a friendship and it’s weirdly touchy and close. eliot keeps trying to seduce quentin but it’s never serious. i dont even think quentin notices. anyone remember the “lets not talk” scene? he was about to fuck that sad man. anyway this tension was actually fulfilled by the end of the 1st season with a drunk threesome including the two and their best friend margo. they at least kiss and cuddle and MAYBE sucked dick if the ghost of his girlfriend who haunts him later is to be believed (which i do #cockinhismouthsunday).
at this time articles that were like “THIS SIFI SERIES IS PROUDLY BISEXUAL” were coming out which. lol. lmfao! quentin never had any sort of queer identity. not even a hint of it. the homophobia of the show started with the regurgitation of the “sad drunk lonely sex-crazed” gay man trope with eliot, then the “everyone is fluid but no one actually has same sex attraction” trope, THEN by sidelining and killing off almost every gay or trans character, THEN THE QUENTIN THING. and the quentin thing turned people insane. let’s see why.
so after the threesome, eliot and quentin continue having a good friendship. there is some tension that isnt present with margo which sure is a choice… but it is resolved by a heartfelt crowning ceremony nd hug. oh theyre kings of the magic land now btw. eliot and q are pretty much separate from this point on xcept for certain episodes/moments. it is strange they dont have any storylines together. but love finds a way. at some point a version of eliot sacrifies himself for quentin. if u look at the scene it is on instinct it is crazy. then they reunite at the end of s2 but it’s all business really. the show was really involved w its nonsense plot.
anyway season 3. hahaha. so like i said theyre separate most of the show past s1. this is true in this season xcept for episodes 305 and 313 (with some notable moments in between). the plot of this season is that they have to go on quests to collect keys. the creature that gives eliot this plot calls quentin his “brother of the heart”. ok! when they see each other for the first time in a while in 304, they hug in a very sweet way :) look at this photo from bts during that scene :) i have it framed
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after a series of other quests, 305 turns out to be the Eliot and Quentin quest! finally a story with the two! the quest is for the “time key”, which is fabled to be given to whoever solves the mosaic puzzle in fillory (magic world). the puzzle? they have to arrange 100s of tiles in a way that depicts “the beauty of all life”. quentin is very excited about it. eliot is happy to hear him infodump. they eventually get pushed into fillory to solve the mosaic. turns out they were also sent DECADES in the past. there might have been a way out but they were dead-set on solving the mosaic and getting their key. so they get to work. they live in a cottage attached to the mosaic and they spend hours, days, months on it. just the two of them and the mosaic. this episode is called “a life in a day” which is so perfect you wonder why the writing couldnt be that good within the show.
at the 1 year anniversary, quentin kisses eliot. and eliot kisses him back. and you wonder woah what does this mean?! well keep wondering girl because this tv show does not care to explore any of that. it chugs on and eliot and q fight about “living their lives there” and quentin gets a Wife and has a child with her and then she DIES (leaving her as a narrative incubator rather than an actual character, which is very in line with the sexism of the show). and they grow up and decades pass and the child grows old enough to leave and it seems eliot co-parented him but (again) the tv show doesnt care to show you that. and this whole time theyre working on the mosaic. years and years. eventually they grow old. it’s just the two of them. until eliot dies. quentin goes to bury him in the mosaic plot and he finds a special little tile. he places it in the mosaic. he gets the key. the puzzle is solved. “the beauty of all life”. but quentin is alone. his life companion is gone. and that’s the last we see of him.
we go back in time til before they enter fillory. their friend stops them and she has the key through time shenanigans and they never live that timeline. UNTIL!!!!! they do. they remember it all. what does decades (50 yrs btw) of living happily together mean for them?!? FUCK ALL APPARENTLY!!!! because the next episode (306 if yr keep track) they mention it ONCE AND NEVER AGAIN. and there is so much beneath the surface with the looks and the line that mentions it (“go be life partners with someone else” eliot says jokingly in a manner that shouldve been the catalyst to quentin’s magic-induced suicide spiral later that episode).
ok quentin does mention it once more to his dying dad. but nothing about his Male Life Partner Of Fifty Years. Nothing. they dont even talk about it with their best friends, leading one to believe they just kept it a secret . which. okay.
okay. so theyre apart til the last episode of the season. and quentin decides to sacrifice himself by locking himself in a cage with a monster for all of eternity. he says the quest prepared him for it which is yikesss. eliot refuses. but quentin insists. they travel to the prison (he gets back together with his gf during this trip btw they had been apart that season after some shit. one of their worst writing decisions i hate this stupid ass cockroach relationship). quentin almost exchanges himself. then eliot shoots the monster. dooming them all.
so the monster doesnt die. instead he possesses eliot. and that becomes the story for season 4. at first quentin and co think eliot is dead. and it’s devastating lol. an interesting thing is that the monster was so. touchy with quentin. unbearably so. it’s such a perverse reflection of eliot’s touch. which is sorta pointed out by quentin in this quote (paraphrase) “i know it’s not eliot. but he has his face and his eyes…”
anyhow 405. hahahahahaha. so this episode it’s revealed eliot is alive but trapped in his own head. and to get out for a moment and tell his friends he’s alive, he needs to confront his most terrible most shameful memory. the whole episode is him trying to figure out what it is. meanwhile, quentin and co are setting up a plan to kill the monster. and quentin breaks up with his gf (lol). in a deleted scene that WAS shown in promo they argue about the monster. and quentin says “im team eliot”. lol
anyhow, eliot’s hit a dead end. he cant figure the worst thing that’s happened in his life. then his memory of quentin (theyve been hangin out) says he’ll “sacrifice” himself if he had to. eliot smiles and says “i know youre just a memory… but youre a very generous one.” and quentin says— (im reciting this from memory btw all of this has been from 4 years of NON STOP thinking about it) quentin says “well you sacrifice for the people you love” and he gives eliot a VERY pointed look. and then it dawns on eliot. and the guilt is instantly palpable.
hahahahha. hahaha. hahahahahaha. okay so eliot goes to the memory he knows is the worst thing he’s ever done. his most traumatic memory, after a lifetime of violent homophobia and bad choices. the person possessed before him described this memory as being “the day he left home”.
the memory? the day they remembered their past lives. did it happen? fifty years. it happened.
theyre sat under a wedding arch (that was the b plot of the episode lol). it’s beautiful. eliot watches the memory play out, standing in front of the seated figures. the guilt. the guilt.
outside, the tension is building. the plan to kill the monster is in motion. quentin has to coax him to a certain spot. he has to look at him as he kills his best friend.
eliot doesnt know this but he gets anxious watching it play out. there is a certainty that this is it. the first time viewer has no idea whats going on. we never saw the direct aftermath of them remembering. we always assumed there wasnt anything.
well a year after 305 aired, a yr after thinking THAT WAS IT, they recontextualize Everything.
it is worth saying here that in the promo interviews leading up to season 4, quentin’s and eliot’s actors were sussing it UP. quentin’s at some point talks on q’s queerness, saying it was the one aspect of his life he didnt feel anxious about.
well
what happens is that quentin asks eliot for a relationship. remember how it was quentin who first kissed eliot? it happens again. heart on his fucking sleeve. i can recite this scene pretty well so im going to fucking do it:
did it happen? fifty years. it happened. it was sort of beautiful. it really was. i know this is gonna sound dumb but … us. i mean we work. we know it cause we lived it. who gets that proof of concept? (eliot smiles uneasily) we just got injected with fifty years of memories so i get that youre not thinking clearly. no im just saying… what if we gave it a shot, would that be so crazy? (eliot looks down, worried and thoughtful. quentin smiles RADIANTLY it is BLINDING) why the fuck not?
editors opinion: quentin is such a beautiful person. to be so truthful about something so scary is unthinkable. especially in context of him being so hopelessly and quietly in love his childhood best friend, and his whirlwind romance with previously mentioned gf, and all the tragedy he endured with these two. but this is someone who loves with his whole heart. what was he supposed to do? contain it?
then eliot hardens.
i know you and you arent… whats the matter? dont be naive it matters. (pause) q i love you but… that isnt me and that definitely isnt you. not when we have a choice. (quentin looks away. he wipes his eye) oh. okay. sorry.
and silence. the real eliot, the eliot who isnt the memory, looks on. tired and angry, he speaks to himself:
what the hell is wrong with you? what the hell are you doing? someone Good and True… Loves you. yeah it was a little crazy but you knew. you knew this truly mattered. and you just SNUFFED IT OUT.
then he looks to the memory of quentin. soft as the clouds:
q. im sorry. i was afraid. and when im afraid i run away.
then he kisses him. and he hits you with the thesis of the episode:
if i ever get out of here q… know that when im braver it cause i learned it from you.
well
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thats his most traumatic memory. he is granted passage to consciousness. what is the first thing he sees? quentin. the real quentin.
q? (smiles) q (laughs) it’s me. it’s eliot. ok come on no games. it’s eliot. i said no games. (eliot looks around, worried as all hell) fifty years (he walks towards q) who gets proof of concept like that? what? peaches and plums motherfucker (this is the symbol to their mosaic life) im alive in here. (eyes as wide as saucers, heart in his throat) eliot…
and he ruins their plans of killing the monster. “eliot’s alive.”
then the episodes keep rolling. “eliot eliot eliot. why do you care so much about him?” “because i do.” and “wow i love that plan. except the part where it doesnt save eliot.” quentin gets back with his gf for reasons only the devil knows. but fine ok whatever quentin and eliot will HAVE to talk post-saving. even if the writers ignore it once more they have some kind of relationship. and they do save eliot in the finale! you know who they dont save? lmfao
quentin dies. in a manner that many including myself found weird and unsatisfactory and suicidal. and he never gets to know how eliot feels. never. he’s just gone. their story means nothing 💯
editors note: this ending broke me. i was using the show as a depression crutch, so a fate so hopeless ruined me. cant blame the show for my mistake but being so technically bad certainly didnt help.
well when the show came back for its next (and final lol) season, they did attempt closure for eliot and quentin. for some reason this was all contained in 3 episodes, most of it in the third (503) but what the fuck ever. it has its moments.
the episode is basically about eliot and alice (q’s gf i dont think ive mentioned her name. sorry alice) going on a mini quest up a treacherous mountain for grievers to return a piece of quentin’s soul back to the underworld. their fights are soooo funny. toxic lover vs almost-lover.
alice at some point says “well he was MY boyfriend this is MY pilgrimage and you just TAGGED ALONG” and (blood obviously boiling) eliot goes “right, because he meant nothing to me”. and this highlights something so sneakily homophobic about this whole affair. quentin and eliot’s relationship never mattered to the narrative as much as all the other straight relationships, especially quentin and alice’s. like i said, they would separate for entire seasons. you will be happy to know that not 1 episode goes by without quentin and alice conflicting and making up conflicting and etc. i dont understand how quentin and eliot’s relationship wasnt important enough. they were best friends, they kissed multiple times and had sex AT LEAST once if the mosaic subtext isnt considered. and the mosaic… it isnt just that they lived together for 50 yrs and raised a child and were happy, something they couldnt quite grasp in their old lives… they achieved the beauty of all life. that is a monumental achievement that shouldve changed not only their lives, but their stories.
the thing about the confession is that it wasnt planted in s3. talking about 405, the writers said they came up with it while working on that episode. it was essentially a retcon. though its inclusion explains why they didnt talk about it literally, it doesnt excuse the narrative outright ignoring it. it DEFINITELY doesnt account for why it ignored the rest of the SAME SEASON it was ESTABLISHED IN. if this was quentin and alice, they would be talking about it nonstop. and guess the fuck what when they get back together it is *non stop*.
SO. 503. they are on their pilgrimage. tensions build. eliot hallucinates quentin’s voice (it’s a soundbite from the mosaic when eliot dies which is depressing). they meet another traveller who is grieving his long dead boyfriend.
the traveller asks who theyre grieving and alice goes My Boyfriend and eliot looks away and says he knew him as a friend and it’s so sad it makes me want to die. why did they invent new exciting ways for gay people to be ashamed of who they love. i hate this show.
anyway the traveller talks about his boyfriend and how he was a magician who died young and how his dreams were haunted by him. and eliot is listening so intensely you want to jump hale appleman for being so good at this acting thing. alice goes to sleep and leaves the two alone. then they really start talkin:
(the traveller asks) have you ever had love? (eliot smiles small, hesitant) love…? yeah love. (pause) the friend we’re putting to rest. (traveller is delightfully shock) wasnt just a friend.
truly truly truly cant describe to you how much it physically pains me that it took 2 seasons and for one of them to die and a conversation with a stranger to get to this point. why wasnt this always part of the narrative. why does this only matter now after 2 yrs of fans badgering you about why this isnt part of the fucking show despite BEING PART OF THE FUCKING SHOW! it is dead obvious this was never the intent so even with something that should feel right feels wrong because the show never wanted it. it never wanted quentin to be in love with eliot. but it doesnt make sense if he isnt. i hate this show.
the convo continues 🙄:
does she know? oh god no. a torrid secret affair. (eliot looks away) no, nothing like that.
and i wish eliot was given a proper story. i wish i knew what was going on in his head through all of this. i wish i wish.
so it is revealed that quentin and eliot “had love” and that eliot is keeping it a secret (a revelation considering they werent intimate on screen past the 1 yr anniversary, they were only ever referred to as best friends by cast and crew, AND even what they were was obscured in the confession scene. and their feelings didnt matter past 405 fuck this world). this is huge. it should be huge. eliot’s first arc is about how he cant fall in love until he does and gets his heart broken. quentin’s stories are so wrapped up in alice that having another love interest should complicate that entirely. it doesnt.
the climax of the episode is when eliot expresses difficulty of letting go of quentin and alice says “he was your friend” and eliot replies (quick as if not meaning to) “he wasnt just my friend.” and wowww. how cathartic. the first time in the history of the show they talk about it. 5 seasons btw.
and eliot tells her about the mosaic and how “we loved each other for a really really long time.” and how he told him to fuck off and how he died for him and how he was never able to talk to him again. he just died.
and that part is supposed to be cathartic too. it feels cathartic for eliot the character at least. but to me the Viewer. i was sick of how they were trying to appeal to MY thoughts of what he should be feeling. as if trying to placate me. cuz if it was soo important it wouldnt just been solved after this episode. he DGAF about quentin after this. i dont get it. why cant they write a proper story.
well one line that stuck with me and i truly felt was this:
alice: he was pretty in love with you eliot: i wouldnt say that alice: .. i would
and then eliot looks at her the most devastated a man can look.
thats it. that’s quentin and eliot. a heartfelt and final fuck this show. the fic goes crazy esp the 2019 shit.
306 notes · View notes
jaylaxies · 2 years
Text
TO THE BOY : who took my v card
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PAIRING : heeseung x fem!reader
GENRE : smut, protected sex, fingering, cunnilingus, a lot of kissing and making out, friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mentions of isa (stayc), sungchan (nct) and jin (bts), mentions of food, swimming, partying, usage of nicknames (baby, sweetheart).
WC : 12.5k words
SYNOPSIS : you had first attended the summer camp at the age of thirteen, and since then, heeseung had been your companion and partner in crime, supporting you in every one of your rendezvous at the camp each year. now, at the age of eighteen, you are attending it for the last time, and he promises to make these three weeks an unforgettable experience for you — even if it includes breaking a few rules.
WARNING : 18+ content, minors dni.
A/N : hello pretty people <3 i'm finally here with the first installment of to all the boys series! this is by far the longest fic i've written and i sincerely hope that y'all enjoy it! thank you sm for 5k+ followers :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated :D iloveyou all <3
[ masterlist ] | [ next part ]
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The briny scent of salt along with the light breeze flowing through your hair brought you back to reality. It wasn't just one of your dream full of excitement anymore, you were finally at the summer camp you'd been attending since you were thirteen.
Nothing's changed, the place is still lively as ever, the beach clean and ready to be used by campers, the small blue butterflies fluttering their wings in excitement, welcoming you back.
The glistening sunlight atop the clean ocean water had mesmerized you for a while, and you didn't know how long you had spent watching how it reflected off the water.
A hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality, you turned around to see Isa with her gummy smile on display, the same one which made it easy for you to befriend her when you first came here.
“Looking for Hee?” her grin was teasing, which made you pout in the slightest way possible.
You indeed were looking for the said man, the guy who you had labelled as your ‘camp best friend’, the guy who had spent your past five summers with, the guy who made you fall in love with the freshness of summer — Lee Heeseung.
“Yeah, he should've been here by now,” you looked around, completely ignoring the meaning behind her question.
You could see campers all over the bus stop, getting their luggage bags off and waiting with their newfound friends — in the case of younger, new campers and the others reuniting with their old ones — just like you and Isa.
Your hand automatically went up to your forehead, acting as a shield while you squinted your eyes, trying to find where your other friends were while Isa poked your side with a pout, wanting your attention at this particular moment.
You engulfed her in a side hug, which made her smile, feeling accomplished with her motive. That's exactly when the camp counsellor blew his whistle as he stood on the levelled surface of the stool, grabbing everyone's attention.
The soft murmurs and the sound of luggage dragging were heard before everyone stood around him in a circle while you were still distracted, your eyes still in search of a particular someone.
“Oh! We would love to see a little enthusiasm here,” he stated sarcastically, with a playful smile as he put his hand on his ear. Some people clapped while some screamed in order to give him the excitement he wanted which made you and Isa smile.
Mr. Kim Seokjin, your camp counsellor, smiled and bend down further. His voice increased a pitch before he screamed, “I can't hear you guys,” and suddenly the excited screams pitched a level high as well, you joining in by hooting.
He went over all the rules, some causing a series of sighs and boos considering how it wasn't allowed for the campers to leave their cabins after ten pm maximum.
Both of you knew the rules by heart despite breaking them tons of times, never been caught once though. After the last rule was announced, he welcomed everyone yet again and demanded another set of cheering.
You were about to join in but a deep-voiced hollered just near your ear made you stop in your tracks, a strong hand wrapped around your waist just in time to prevent you from tripping over.
The culprit for both? Lee Heeseung. He looked at you with shining eyes while a boyish laugh escaped his mouth as he pulled you in a hug.
You hugged him back after overcoming the initial shock of him surprising you. Your little jumps only added to his chuckle as your heart warmed at the silly prank of your friend.
It was comforting, home-like almost. Your eyes shut down for a second as you took it all in before opening and stepping back with a smile.
He mirrored your action, looking at you up and down while you observed him too. His outfit wasn't over the top yet it looked like it was made just for him. A pair of long black shorts along with a light blue, half-sleeved shirt and a pair of sports shoes, he looked like a child. His tousled, slightly wavy hair only added to your amusement.
“Did I scare you, y/n?” his smile was teasing.
You simply shook your head with a scrunched nose, not admitting the fact that you indeed were startled for a moment to him. The comfort of his embrace did make you feel at ease.
Isa only smiled from a distance, nodding slightly as a ‘hello’ to Hee, which he returned, before leaving you two to catch up with each other.
You both didn't care about the commotion all around you as everyone rushed to get settled in their respective cabins, only walking slowly while dragging your luggage towards your own room.
“Missed me?” he was in the mood to tease you, his lips curving up as he saw you roll your eyes.
“Of course not, Lee.”
“Too bad, cause I missed you a lot.”
His words were filled with sincerity, you could tell it without even looking at him and you didn't want to look at him, mostly because you were aware of his eyes on you, waiting for a reaction but you stayed mum.
That was the first time he admitted that he missed you. The way you both communicated was honestly not the best, only texting when you both were at the camp and never afterwards. It was like an unspoken fact how you both had a shy interior, conveying feelings, even the platonic ones, got hard for you at times.
So seeing Heeseung being free-spirited and jolly made you want to return his energy.
“I missed you too.” you softly spoke and he lit up like a Christmas tree.
For the rest of your five-minute walk, you talked about how this place looked as lively as ever, Heeseung also filled you in about his university admissions and the well being of his family, you telling him the same.
You stared at him the whole time he talked, observing his face which looked a lot more mature than last year.
His jawline looked sharper, his adam's apple more prominent and attractive. His face was well sculpted which you could easily compare to that of a Greek God and youthful skin shone brightly as his cherry lips continued to move while his nose looked pointy enough to make you want to want to poke it, specs perfectly perched on it.
“Earth to y/n.” he waved his big hands in front of your face, which widened your eyes and successfully snapped you out of your admiration session.
“I'm sorry, what were you saying?” you asked sheepishly and he only gave you a smile in return.
“I was talking about how it's our last year here,” he pouted and you stopped with realisation.
You won't ever see Heeseung after these weeks get over. Or maybe you would, you never know.
“Oh—”
“Don't worry, we'll make it worth it,” he said, holding your hand and giving it a light squeeze.
A small smile settled on your face, “We will.” and you squeezed his hand back.
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It took you two hours to finally settle in and unpack your clothes, make your little cabin more lively with your books on the shelf and Isa's music player accompanied the calm ambience. Isa seemed mysterious to you, she loved to disappear during the night, claiming to have found a treehouse in the woods where she liked to sleep.
That's what she told you, at least.
To uplift the spirits of the newcomers, a day one party was organised, just exactly how it happens each year. Only, the number of campers looked more than the usual, the camp had a reputation now and hence the surge in-crowd.
Heeseung knocked on your door, he wanted to walk with you and catch up at the party. His cabin being just in front of yours made it even more convenient for him to reach you.
“You look great,” his compliment made you smile, your clothes were simply stylish, not too extravagant, just perfect for the night. Your outfit colour also complimented Heeseung's black shirt, making it seem like you two planned it beforehand.
“You don't look too bad yourself, Hee.” it had been a few hours and yet he had shown you his smile numerous times.
Isa joined you guys later with some more friends of yours, sitting together at a table while Mr. Jin had paused the DJ for a while, going on about the various activities you guys will be participating in during your stay at the sunshine camp.
Typical stuff, some of which you did each year with a few new additions here and there. He happily explained all the newly added information to you guys, everyone focusing on him. Some more than others as you could see the majority of the female population drooling over the twenty-nine-year-old instructor.
“—New musical equipment has been added, they're all kept in the new cabin, the one near mess hall—” your focus deviated for a second when Heeseung yawned, keeping his head on your shoulder.
You looked over at him and he kept his eyes focused on the front. The position was comforting so you ended up leaning against his head too, which made him bite his smile, the action that you conveniently missed.
“I can play the guitar for you now,” he whispered, remembering how he told you he played yet he couldn't show you due to lack of instruments.
“I'll look forward to it.” you looked at him looking at you, the proximity, however, made you look away first.
Heeseung had always been touchy with you, in a friendly way, of course. But it felt different this time. Maybe it was just the realisation that you won't be here next year, or maybe the fact that Heeseung had grown to have a subtle flirty nature.
The party went on afterwards, you drank a few carbonated drinks and had the snacks which you craved, also dancing with your group and getting to know a few new campers.
It was light and enjoyable, your cheeks hurt from how much you laughed at the horrible dance moves everyone kept showing, only Heeseung kept it minimal, his body rolls looking effortless.
Good at everything, that's what Heeseung was.
He also insisted to walk you and Isa back to your cabin, yours being a few steps away from his. You also acknowledged that his roommate, Sungchan, had nerdy abilities and always carried a book around, almost similar to what you did back at home.
He successfully had your attention after whining like a preschooler, Sungchan raising his brow at his behaviour but not questioning much.
It was normal that Lee Heeseung dropped you at your doorstep, wishing you a good night. But again, he had sworn to surprise you each moment he could.
“Where's my good night kiss?” he bent down to get on your eye level.
And that successfully stopped you from going inside, “What?” your eyes widened a fraction.
And his laugh bloomed up seeing your confused expression.
“I'm kidding—” he paused when you stood up straighter and planted a featherlight kiss on his cheekbone.
“Good night, Hee,” you stifled your laugh and rushed inside.
All he could do was stare at the closed door, his fingertips reaching to touch the area where you kissed him, his mouth soon curling up again, continuing his laugh from before.
And both of you slept with your heartbeats a little more faster than the usual. Why? It was a normal, friendly kiss after all. The kind only meant for teasing.
Because, if he can flirt, then so can you.
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Two days had passed since that kiss incident took place and you both didn't acknowledge it the next day, continuing to work according to your activity schedule, being the best friends you were. And it was better that way. Heeseung didn't pull up any tricks in the meantime, maintaining harmony between you two.
And a majority of your friends were in the new music room, trying out the random instruments but you were here to listen to Heeseung play the guitar.
He held it professionally, tuning the strings as you all sat down surrounding him. He didn't mind the attention, especially when it concerned the thing he loved — music.
I'm so tired... by Lauv and Troye Sivan. That's what Heeseung had claimed to be his favourite song two summers back, and that's what he intended to play today.
Although, you had also discussed how he loved 'say you won't let go' by James Arthur. He called the song mainstream yet the genuine tone made it one of his favourites. “It's the feeling of longing, the need to tell someone how much you want them in your life.” he had said after deep thought, “That's cheesy.” you had laughed.
But you did agree.
But at this moment, his voice felt amazing as he sang for everyone, the small smile on his face while doing so made it even better.
His mellifluous voice filled the room, even the younger ones stopped to listen to his deep vocals hitting each note perfectly.
You had heard him humming to songs before but he never sang them in a full-fledged manner, always keeping it to himself or grinning saying how he'd want to be perfect for you to hear it.
And he defined perfection, his eyes kept coming back to see your face, and the way your mouth was agape made him feel proud for working on his vocal abilities.
He sat there, strumming his guitar while you all sang along until Sungchan suggested sitting outside, a bonfire would be the perfect add on to the fussy and warm vibe. You all agreed, setting everything up.
Yet again, Heeseung sat down with you, his face glowing with the cosy fire in front of you all.
You were too immersed, your mind fully invested in music and the booming laughter from the jokes your friends kept on making that you didn't hear your phone ring until Isa pointed it out.
You hurriedly excused yourself for, the caller was someone who rarely reached out to you. Heeseung's eyes followed you, observing your actions since you rarely got any call other than your family.
“Hello? Jake?” you asked, confused.
“Y/n! I hope I didn't disturb you.”
“Of course not! Is anything wrong though?”
“Yeah, I saw your potted plant, Mr. Pots, looking dry and sad on your window so I wondered if I can keep it with me till the time you return?”
Jake always paid attention to everything, so it made sense when he noticed your plant. And your heart swells with this small offer of his.
“Aren't you the sweetest? I'd love that, Jakey.”
A few more words were exchanged between you and your ‘neighbour cum childhood best friend turned friend’ before you ended the call, going back to sit down on the big log like seat surrounding the fire.
Heeseung had stopped singing by now, he was busy eating marshmallows with a pout.
“It's honestly sad how it's the first time I've properly heard you sing,” you looked at Heeseung who had a stuffed mouth.
“You've got the voice of an angel, Hee.”
Even in the dim lights, you could see a faint shade of red adorning the tip of his ears. It was evident how he was waiting for your compliment all this time.
He simply stuffed your mouth with a marshmallow, not knowing how to handle compliments well. You slapped his shoulder, trying not to laugh while chewing on the sweet treat.
“Where'd you go?” he asked you, diverting the topic.
“Oh, I got a call.” you shrugged.
“Boyfriend?”
Your eyes went wide first, then turned into crescents as you laughed at his guess.
“It was my neighbour!”
“The one you had a crush on?” he came closer.
You slapped his shoulder again.
“No, I did not! And I've been single all my life.” you leaned in while emphasizing on your sentence.
“You mean, you've never dated before?” he asked again to confirm your statement.
“Stop reminding me that I'm single, oh lord!”
“Good,” he whispered and you paused.
The scene might have looked like something straight out of a movie, your faces close enough for you to breathe in the same air and for a moment, you kept staring at each other until a voice snapped you back to reality, again.
“Just friends, huh?” Isa teased and everyone cheered, some kids looked confused while others smirked.
Your heart kept hammering in your chest, it was like you were the centre of attention for the majority of the day and, even though you did like to have the attention of your best friend, it made you flustered this very time. You weren't sure if you wanted to know the reason why.
Heeseung looked elsewhere, still smiling which confused you further. You glared at Isa before grabbing the marshmallow from Hee, getting comfortable once again.
Maybe this was your last shot at getting some romance before finals and college. Or maybe it was just a game. Either way, you were ready for both.
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It had been a week since Heeseung played the guitar. The week was full of mixed signals. You weren't dense, it was evident what you were doing. His hugs were prolonged, and his protectiveness sprang out at the most random times, just like how he saved you from tripping three days back at the trek, holding you by your waist.
He didn't know what exactly he was doing, all he knew was how he loved to see you being a flustered mess around him, more when you retorted back with the same energy.
Flirting was something that came to him almost naturally, you wondered what this one year did to him. The shyness was still there, but his confidence almost overpowered it.
Exactly like now, he sat in front of you, the canoe just big enough to fit you both in. It was supposed to be a group activity where the instructor was supposed to be guiding all the canoes. But Heeseung had different plans.
And you had no objections, not when the sky above you looked majestic. It was like a canvas, the glittering water beneath made look like a picture-perfect scene, like diamonds shining beneath you. The faint hues of pink and purple covering with the delicate clouds.
Most of all, while you stared at the cotton candy-esque beauty in front of you, Heeseung spent his time staring at you instead.
“How did you find this place?” your eyes sparkled with awe, “It's beautiful.” it came out as a whisper.
He looked up, taking in the scene as well, “Found it last year, I've been wanting to show this to you ever since,” he paused, his gaze back on you again.
“And I agree. So beautiful.”
He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, “You are beautiful.”
Your mouth opened and closed, your head tilted while you tried to articulate your current emotion into words.
“That's the first time you've called me that,” you spoke in a low voice, fiddling with your rings.
“That's not true,” he argued, “I've called you that a thousand times in my mind.”
You gulped down, speechless. The canoe kept still, only ever moving due to the subtle ripples in the water. He softly held your chin, making you look up at his glowing face, lip bitten to conceal his smile, “I mean it.”
“I—” you were cut short of your reply when your phone rang even in the area with low network connectivity.
Heeseung sat back, exhaling and looking elsewhere, you could have sworn it was the look of disappointment on his face.
“Isa, what's wrong?” you picked up the call, putting it on speaker.
“Where are you, y/n? The instructor figured two people were missing and now they're searching for you!” she informed you in a breath. “Come back as fast as possible.”
You both looked at each other before cussing.
“Shit.”
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When you talked about breaking the rules, getting a punishment wasn't something you had planned along with it. You had rowed the boat back at an alarming speed, it wasn't each day when the students who've always been good, break the rules for the very first time. Or get caught breaking in your case.
Heeseung poked your cheek seeing you pout when you both got scolded for not following the rules. The lecture went on longer than you had anticipated. It further resulted in you both missing out on the bonfire session for the next night, and cleaning up the playground area. That's what the punishment slip read at least.
You both worked in silence, except for the usual humming from Heeseung, and you could have sworn his voice was therapeutic.
“Do you remember when it rained here?” you broke the silence, “And we ended up taking shelter under that tree.” you pointed it out at a distance.
“And you slept on my shoulder and caught cold later?” his face lit up with the memory.
You scrunched up your nose remembering how Heeseung stayed by your side the entire time, he was the epitome of purity two years back, so much that he even asked if he could touch you to help you sit straight.
“I was focusing more on the part where we engraved our initials on that very tree.” you both walked closer to it, the poorly carved heart along with one H and the other, your initial, came in view as he ran his thumb on it.
“Someone might mistake it for a lovers mark, with the heart and all, y'know?” he tilted his head back as mischief glowed in his eyes.
“You'd love that, won't you, Hee?”
“Oh I definitely would,” he bent down to your height yet again, filling you up with anticipation.
But he only bent down further, “Do you regret it?” Heeseung asked, completely changing the topic, picking up a plastic bottle and throwing it in his trash bag.
His question could have meant anything yet your mind knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Going out to see the prettiest sky with you? Never.” a smile adorned your face as you reminisced how enchanting the colours looked as they blended with each other.
“Even if it meant breaking the rules?” he looked at you expectantly.
“Even if it meant breaking the rules.”
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Time kept on running, and it worried you, simply because your feelings conflicted and the clock was ticking away. The second week at the camp and your distress was showing, yet you somehow managed to keep up with your activities and duties, mentally reminding yourself to not lose your mind over a certain guy.
While it did seem like you were the only one panicking, even though you did a fantastic job of hiding it, the other party wasn't less. Heeseung, just like you, was at a war with his newfound feelings.
Again, you both weren't dumb to not realise what it was but, you chose to ignore it for the sake of your friendship, and the time — one and a half weeks.
You decided not to think about it anymore, going with the flow being the only good option in your opinion. And it provided you with great pleasure since Heeseung acted like his usual self, joyous and flirty, something that you almost craved at this very moment.
“Any song requests, m'lady?” Heeseung asked, holding your hand as you all gathered around for another of the open guitar and singing sessions, something which had taken a happy little place in your heart. A few campers gagged at Heeseung's highly friendly public display of affection.
You scrunched your nose, thinking, while Isa made you sit between her and Hee, pushing you towards him not so subtly.
“Surprise me, Hee,” you said and he smiled, knowing exactly what he wanted to play.
He strummed the strings a few times, warming his fingers up as everyone got comfortable around him as he went on for a minute.
You leaned your head against Isa's shoulder, closing your eyes as an unknown feeling bloomed up in your chest. Was it fear? Excitement? Maybe a mix of both.
“I met you in the dark, you lit me up.” his deep voice mixed with the cool breeze of the night.
It made your heart beat fast, remembering what he had said about that song a few summers back.
You didn't open your eyes, even when everyone started singing along with him, you doing the same under your breath.
Heeseung was staring and you could feel it, but you couldn't muster the courage to look at him, knowing how his eyes are always full of sincerity, especially when he sings.
“Just say you won't let go,” he breathes out slowly, ending the song just as you open your eyes, only to find him looking at you.
Releasing a shaky breath, you smiled at him as one of the younger guy started playing an upbeat song, changing the mood right after, which you were thankful for.
“She isn't going anywhere, Hee,” Sungchan whispered in his ear and he bit his lip.
“We have only a week left, we don't know what comes after that.” He said, trying to suppress his feelings which wouldn't do him good.
That night, when you hugged him good night, you held on to him tight. Both of you knew that just friends weren't a title anymore, it was a bar higher than that, just a bit higher since you both weren't ready to accept it.
But you did know you would have to confront him soon.
“You look distraught,” Isa sat down with you on your bed, eyes worried.
“Why do you pair me with Hee?” you asked her before you could stop.
“Because he looks at you with love in his eyes.” she smiled.
You let out a breathy laugh, “Love is a big word.”
“It is, but it won't be hard for you both.” she shrugged.
“It will,” you whispered, finally admitting that you wanted to be with Heeseung.
“How?”
“We only have a week left together, then the camp would be over and we won't be returning here the next summer,” you explained, your gaze on the floor.
She wrapped her arms around your shoulder, a warm vanilla smell filling up your senses, “You don't know what the future holds, maybe you'll meet someday again? But you'll regret not trying, won't you?” her voice was soft.
You gulped down, letting it sink in, “Yeah, I'll think about it maybe?”
The probability of being rejected filled up your mind but you decided not to speak about it anymore. You hugged Isa softly, thanking her for listening to you and she simply kissed your forehead before giving you space.
You drifted off to sleep thinking about Heeseung and how would it feel if he actually kisses you someday. You wonder if he would have kissed you before had you not been interrupted.
Your mind was full of him, it made you blush even. What you didn't know was — you were the main occupant of Heeseung's mind too.
The next day was comparatively normal, the sky was clear, the activities were fun, it made you feel like a kid again with the artwork sprawled on the table in front of you and how that one fifteen-year-old was being super nice to you, helping you draw with his own expertise which was highly appreciated considering how he good he was at it.
Heeseung was trying not to have a meltdown at how you were giving all your attention to a kid instead of him, and so he did what he had to — he dipped his finger in paint and brushed it against your cheekbone.
Which successfully made you look at him, your eyebrows raised and mouth open with confusion, “Hee what the fuc—”
“Shh, not in front of the kids.” he put the clean finger against your lips. “Let's go and get you cleaned.” he smiled and the guy in front of you rolled his eyes.
He grinned and held your hand, dragging you to the empty washroom and water dispenser area, taking out his handkerchief and keeping it under the flowing tap water.
“What's on your mind, Hee?” you whispered when he came closer to wipe your paint stain, his fingers holding your chin up.
“Just wanted your undivided attention.” his hand caressed the contour of your mouth, “All done!” he said acting like he didn't do it in the first place.
“You could have just called me like a normal person,” you were amused.
“But I wouldn't have gotten you alone then, would I?” his tone was lower, alluring even.
You paused as your heart hammered against your chest, you had to stay strong and not break your calm facade, “You got me alone, now what?” you challenged him.
He comes forward, trapping you between his body and the wall, “Come on, sweetheart, I just wanna spend some time with you.” he whispered and the proximity was enough to make your head spin, in a good way.
Your hand rested on his chest and it made you feel myriads better when you felt his heart beating fast as well. His lips were ghosting just above yours, one move and they'll touch.
“As much as I admire the budding romance here, you both should head back to your art activities.” Mr. Jin spoke up, coming out of the washroom, not bothering to look at you which made you push Her away. “You both have plenty of time at night anyways.” he nonchalantly spoke and left before you could say anything.
“Ugh,” you groaned with embarrassment, covering your face as he laughed.
“Hey, he's right, meet me by the dinner area at two in the morning,” he whispered before holding your hands in his, taking them away from your face and gently kissing on your cheek.
You gasped and he only smiled, his eyes enchanting and genuine. “See you,” he said before leaving you being a breathless mess.
Lee Heeseung was a mystery to you, so lively and full of zeal yet he always did things with you least expected him to do.
Like now, you both were outside, lying on the wooden lunch table outside, staring at the blanket of stars as the pale moon glowed with the infinite sky.
It was silent as you took the scenery in, Heeseung doing the same, stealing a few glances towards you. It felt romantic and as much as you loved it, you hated it the equal amount. You didn't want him to sweet talk his way into something which wouldn't result in anything. You curse the bad timings.
But you couldn't help but feel the tingles where he kissed on your cheek earlier.
“Do you believe in love, Hee?” your eyes stayed on a star which visibly shone brighter than its companions. He stayed quiet for a while.
“Love definitely exists. It's everywhere if you pay attention to the detail,” he spoke slowly, trying to piece his words together, “Like, the way you're looking at the stars, your eyes adore them, they're full of love.”
You turned to look at him and he could see exactly what he was talking about, the small glimmer in your eyes paired with a speck of confusion. You liked his theory.
“Hm, the sky is breathtakingly beautiful.” you smiled.
And he returned it softly, his hand inching closer to your small ones.
“Why the sudden question?” he asked softly, his pinky finger intertwined with yours which gave you a sense of comfort. He made you feel warm and fuzzy.
“I was just wondering,” your gaze fell on his hand which now captured your own hand fully, “I completed reading a book earlier, the characters were undeniably in love, does that even exist in real life?”
You weren't sure what you expected him to answer, love was indeed a big word, the one which you shouldn't even be thinking about, less talking about it, yet you were curious about his opinion.
“How did they fall in love?” he asked back, “The characters, I mean.”
“They were friends until they decided they can't be it anymore, not when they had feelings for each other,” you explained, remembering the sweet plot which had made you squeal like a kid.
“So, love is friendship,” he stated, looking up at the exact star which you were focused on, noticing how the star adjacent to it was shining just as bright.
You didn't dare look at him. Friendship, he says. Friends, that's what you two are.
His grip on your hand tightened, securing it as his heartbeat screamed — don't let go.
And you didn't. The conversation was over and even the glistening stars could tell that the two friends had finally come to terms with their feelings — primarily focusing on the part which said that you liked each other.
The corner of his mouth slightly turned upwards seeing you dozing off, he checked his watch which displayed four in the morning, most of your time was spent in silence and he wouldn't change a single thing about it.
He softly called out your name, helping you stand up but your body ended up leaning against his chest, his strong arms wrapped around you to help you walk back, “Come on, let's get you into bed.” he whispered.
A soft pair of lips touching your forehead was the last thing you remembered before you fell into the world of dreamland.
Sleep wasn't an option for Heeseung that night, his brain muddled into thinking about the events which took place earlier.
He sighed, changing sides to get comfortable on his bed, he noticed how Sungchan was sound asleep, hugging his plushie while doing so. He wanted to be that way with you, mood uplifting as he recalled how perfectly his bigger hand encased your smaller one and yet he wanted more.
With all the instances where he almost kissed you, he too, just like you, wonders what it would feel like if he does so. Your lips gravitate his own, closer each time. It's almost tortuous how close yet far you are from him. He wants you. He needs you.
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Finding hints for your ongoing treasure hunt was definitely not your priority.
Three days left. You all would leave on the third one.
And no progress, you both acted as if you were lovers for the past two days since Heeseung declared friendship as love. With that being said, you unequivocally needed answers. And a break.
Hence, you stepped into the denser part of the forest, leaving the hint hunting to your teammates — Heeseung, Isa, Sungchan, and three others.
Sitting down on the huge stone, you stared at the vibrant green trees and small, colourful birds in the sky, their chirps cheering you up by a trifle.
“Why are we making it so hard?” you spoke, talking to the one bird which landed next to you, standing on the stone as your companion. “Confessing sounds scary, what if he says no?” you groaned and the bird chirped, which sounded like a shout of encouragement.
You smiled at the cute ave, soon staring into a distance, zoning out until a sound of branch snapping brought you back to reality.
“Lord, y/n! I thought something happened to you.” Heeseung's urgent voice made you realise that maybe going off without informing your friend was a bad idea.
And before you knew it, he had you in his arms, hugging you close. You pursed your lips, hugging him back as his smell brought you immense comfort, his hand patting your back softly.
Hesitantly, you stepped back to see his expression morphed into that of a worried one. It had just been thirty minutes, enough for him to worry.
“I'm sorry, I—” he didn't let you finish, cupping your cheek.
“No, I'm sorry but I can't control myself no more,” he said, stepping further, leaving no space between you both.
He tilted your face, giving your cheek a single caress, “Pretty.” he whispered in his deepest voice.
Your heart fluttered when he pressed his lips against yours, capturing you in a delicate kiss — your first kiss.
His hand slipped down the curve of your waist, pressing your body closer, which made you stand on your tippy-toes, sighing into the short-lived kiss.
He pulled back, taking a brief second to catch his breath while also staring at you with intensity. Your own eyes staring back. Doe-eyed bambi, that's what he reminded you of.
The air swirled around you, sending a shiver down your spine. He wasted no time in grabbing your nape and smashing his lips against yours, this particular moment being more fervent that the first one. You held on to his arm as your knees got weaker with each passing second, but your conflicted voice was louder.
“Hee—” you stepped back, “What are we?” you searched his eyes, a small frown settling on your face.
“I know it sounds like I'm making a big fuss over a kiss but, where will it take us?” confrontation wasn't your strong suit, your throat felt restricted whenever you were upset, and you were sure your eyes looked teary at that very moment.
“I—” he faltered, looking down, seemingly trying to get a grip and give you an answer.
He had none.
You looked at him expectantly but deep inside your mind, you knew how it would end. It was as if your bond existed only during the camp, with no texting, no calls whatsoever once you went home.
Taking an airy breath, you nodded with a pathetic smile. “I see.”
And you walked away, a stray tear sliding down your cheek. You shouldn't have said anything. Heeseung stared at your figure, biting his quivering lip as he kept thinking of an answer. All he wanted to do was to embrace you, tell how you mean the world to him but it was too late, you had left already, leaving him with the expression of deep guilt.
The hunt was over, your team lost since half the members weren't even focused on playing. You went back to your room. It was evident and well versed in your mind — the idea that you had a knack for ruining things. Yet you never thought it would hurt this much.
“Are you alright, love?” Isa softly asked and your tough facade broke.
She held you without any question the entire time you cried, softly caressing your back all along.
You were so lucky to have her.
“You're my strong girl, come on!” she wiped your tears away with a smile once you had calmed down enough. You thanked her, mustering the energy to smile.
“You can tell me when you're ready, okay? But now we have to lift up your mood, you look way prettier when you smile, y'know?” her angelic aura made you feel better.
That's exactly when you remembered — it was the unofficial party night, the one thrown each year and even the camp officials didn't object it.
That's when you also remember how Heeseung would attend it too. And for the nth time, your heart and mind were at war. You wanted to attend it and Isa's hopeful smile made you feel secure enough to go.
You thanked the universe for your eyes weren't swollen. Red rimmed, yes, but not swollen. And even with your crushed spirits, you managed to get yourself in a dress, ready and presentable, just fine.
It meant nothing, you expected too much when it wasn't meant to be.
You closed your eyes, leaning back against the chair in the room, sipping on your cold drink which contrasted well against your hot palm.
“He hurt you, didn't he?” you snapped open your eyes to see the boy who helped you with art, well, before Heeseung smudged paint on your cheek that is. You never asked for his name, you realised.
“Who?” you asked over the slightly loud music, knowing the answer already.
“The one who's been staring at me ever since I sat down next to you, he probably wants to throw me away right now.” he humorously spoke, eyes pointing at the guy you almost dreaded to see.
Almost. Because you couldn't deny how stupidly attractive he looked in black, especially with his gold-rimmed glasses that you had grown fond of.
He was staring at you, the look on his face screaming a mix of jealousy and defeat.
When you didn't reply, he continued, “He's so jealous, I wonder what he did.” the statement wasn't funny yet it made you giggle, which in turn made the boy smile.
“I'll leave before he comes to punch me,” he looked at you, “Take care of yourself and know that I'm only a call away.” he winked at you, giving you a piece of paper with his number and you hearty laughed.
Kids these days, such charmers. But then you looked up, again, to see Heeseung with clenched jaw and fist. Which made you look away just as fast.
You didn't know what to make of it.
Either way, you acted like the whole ordeal didn't affect you, which was burdensome but soon you were being dragged by Isa to sit down with the other campers of your age. You mentally thanked Isa for yet another distraction.
'No kids policy' they had stated. But their activities were the opposite.
“Guys, I know this sounds absurd but come on, it'll be fun and we can't do much without alcohol anyways.” a guy named jeongin said, proposing the idea of playing truth or dare.
Others groaned and looked at each other, contemplating whether they wanted to embarrass themselves or not. They chose the prior.
“I can't believe everyone actually agreed to this,” Sungchan whispered sitting next to you, drinking his coke as if it was a can of beer.
“We honestly have nothing else to do, the camp is full of restrictions,“ you said back, looking around to find any trace of Heeseung.
As if on cue, he came inside the already crowded room, sitting right across from you.
You wanted to hear what he had in mind, not used to him being this silent and deep in thought.
“So, are we gonna sit and ask each other about their crushes?” he questioned, and that made you laugh genuinely.
“And give dares to kiss each other?” you added, which gave elicited a chuckle out of him.
Surprisingly, the first question asked was about jeongin's crush, the blush on his face was capture worthy and his friends made sure to click some pictures of his red ears.
He ended up telling you all about this girl back at home who stole his heart. As cheesy as it was, it made you envious by a smidge. Your lover staying close to you would be like a dream, convenient and just what you need.
Another roar of scream was heard, joined by you as well, when this one blonde girl was asked to kiss the guy sitting next to her, which she ended up doing — the crowd didn't expect it in the least and that's what made the situation better. The faint blush on both their faces was a cherry on top.
However, it also gave you a painful flashback of what went down in the woods a few hours back. Everything reminded you of him. The kiss was sweetly bitter, it should have turned out differently, you wished.
He was still looking your way.
“Isa, truth or dare?” the same girl asked her, actively grasping your attention as well.
“Truth?” she said with a smile.
“Have you ever faked an orgasm?”
She hid her face, laughing and nodding, “Yeah, I have but you can't blame me for it!”
Some guys looked horrified, suddenly nervous about it while the other girls agreed with a nod.
But Sungchan was fast to change the topic, his mind scheming a plan with it, “So, Heeseung,” he grabbed everyone's attention, “Is there anyone who'd you want to kiss in this room?”
You would have glared at him had the question not left you flabbergasted even if it wasn't directed towards you, straightforward at least.
Unknowingly, you held your breath in, greatly anticipating him to say no.
“I do.” the confidence in his voice made you shiver.
It was powerful enough for you to finally look up. Just as expected, he was staring at you already, eyes darker than ever.
And even though it wasn't a surprise to others how Heeseung wanted you, his honestly did come off as an unexpected confession, something which was unspoken till now.
“Who?” another girl asked, trying to get the obvious answer out of him.
“Moving on,” he was quick to deflect the question, asking one to the person sitting next to him.
“Damn he actually wants you,” Sungchan said, whistling lowly, only for you to hear.
“I hate you so much,” you groaned.
“You're welcome,” he quipped.
Heeseung's act of bravery shifted the confidence of the room, the dares got dirtier, questions personal and everyone was keen on knowing more.
Isa kept looking at you while Sungchan kept making small talks when he observed how fidgety and silent you were.
And suddenly everything in the world intrigued you and screamed at you for attention, the dimly lit golden lights, the faint smell of pasta lingering, the loose thread of your dress which you played with, everything.
Except for his eyes.
They knew they already had your attention, the attraction was magnetic almost. That bambi look had recently been found to be the perfect tool to make you a flustered mess.
The next person, however, grabbed your focus, asking about your selection of truth or dare.
“Truth,” you gulped, knowing well that you don't necessarily have to be honest.
“Nastiest place you've had sex before?”
You opened your mouth once, tilting your head, contemplating whether or not to tell them. Sex life wasn't something that you guys usually discussed about.
“I'm a virgin,” you shared, “So, none?” you looked around and Isa only smiled at you adoringly which gave you an easing feel.
“Saving yourself for someone particular?” Jeongin asked, tone teasing.
“Uh, not exactly?” everyone was listening intently. Kids.
“I just want my first to be with—” you paused, your eyes boring into his, “—someone I trust.”
And just like that, you blinked back as if you didn't direct it to someone. Yet the tip of your ears were burning with all the attention, which soon shifted after receiving a few comments on your sentence, calling you cute.
You wanted to leave, his gaze made you feel smaller and you couldn't deny that even though he did leave you hanging, you still wanted him.
During the entirety of the party, you didn't interact with him, which was a disappointment yet a relief and, going back to your cabin suddenly reminded you how tired your body was, sleep engulfing you as soon as you lay down on your bed, not having it in you to spare a minute for changing your outfit into something more comfortable.
And even then, till the point your eyes closed as you swept into the dreamland, Heeseung's dark eyes serenaded your mind and that was the last thing you thought of before sleeping.
Frantic knocking on your cabin door woke you up. Sighing, you checked your phone for the time.
Two in the morning.
As usual, Isa wasn't in the room. Hesitation bloomed up in your mind, wondering if it's safe to open the door, considering how it was just a series of rushed knocks with no name-calling whatsoever.
Still in your dress, you tiptoed to grab the small curtain on the tiny window, peeking out to see who the culprit who woke you up from your dreamless sleep was.
Lee Heeseung.
Your heartbeat rose again, you clutched your chest, your legs taking you to the door automatically and you opened it wide for him, his hand still mid-air from knocking.
His dishevelled appearance prompted you to take a deep analysis of him.
Moonlight shone on him, and he was out of breath, eyes slightly glistening and mouth barely open for the higher intake of oxygen. He was still in his black shirt, the top few buttons being unbuttoned at the current moment which just exposed his torso.
“Heeseung?” you breathed out, making sure you weren't dreaming.
“Is Isa here?” he asked, voice stern.
And you'd be lying if you deny the disappointment that filled up your body with his question.
He wasn't here for you.
You tried not to frown but your voice did quiver while answering, “Oh, n—no she's not here.” you gulped, mentally scolding yourself for being a puddle in front of him.
“Good,” he stepped in further, closing the door behind him which confused you enough to tilt your head, observing him with raised brows.
Another step.
There wasn't much space at the entrance, making it easy for him to have you standing against the wall.
“Hee—” you were cut off by his body being pressed to yours, warmth radiating his body.
He was serious, yet you could see the minute efforts of his, which were overpowered by his want.
He wanted you.
He didn't come here to meet Isa, simply wanting to make sure you had privacy.
For a second, you thought that he'll kiss you right away, but instead, he stopped — his forehead against yours as he searched your face with any hint of discomfort.
“I'm sorry,” he whispered, just like he had done before.
Your sanity was hanging by a thread, the tension so high that it made you weak in the knees. The pause was merely two-second long, it felt like eternity still. Your thoughts turned static and his tall frame held you up in place.
The next moment, his lips are on yours. Your eyes flutter close as you kiss him back.
How could you ever say no to him?
You gasp at his fervency, hands wrapping around his neck as you pull him closer at the same time he squeezes your waist, getting a gasp out of you, which was enough for his tongue to taste you.
He hummed, so perfect.
Was it jealousy from seeing you with a kid? Was it the constant reminder that he won't be able to do it again if not done now? Was it the realization that he was so down bad for you?
Maybe all of it, that's why he couldn't stop until you both had to break up for a split second, catching your breath but he held on to you, tight. Forehead still on yours, the dim light making his wet lips shine brightly.
He called your name with such need, “I don't know what we are or where this kiss will take us,” he confessed, “But I know that I don't want to regret not kissing you when I had the chance to.” he breathes out.
He cupped your cheek, caressing it gently with his thumb. “And I can't seem to let you go,” he smiled softly, “Not when I have you in my arms, no.”
“Then don't,” you whisper, holding on to his arm.
“Touch me, ruin me, Hee,” you were drunk in his essence. “I trust you.”
“I just want my first to be with—” you paused, your eyes boring into his, “—someone I trust.”
“I just want my first to be with—” you paused, your eyes boring into his, “—someone I trust.”
That's what you had said, looking at him, that's what drove him crazy. He has to have you.
“And I trust you too.” he softly pecked your lips.
Your skin tingles wherever he touches you, and he kisses you until your legs hit the bed.
Despite his longing desire, he takes it slow and helps you lay down on your bed, him removing his shoes and getting on top of you. You wondered if he could see the rapid heaving of your chest, or how anxious you were.
He leaned over, looking at you with those gorgeous brown eyes, “Do you want this?”
You felt tingles all over your body, a little more around your lower abdomen, but you nodded nevertheless. You wanted him.
“I need words, baby,” he planted another kiss on your lips.
“Yes, yes I do,” you whispered and he smiled, “Do you want it too, Hee?” you asked.
“Fuck, yes! I want you so much.” he groaned.
Addiction would be the right word to describe it. You were addicted to his lips, slightly chapped yet giving you the perfect friction, while he was addicted to your now red and slightly swollen ones — credit to him.
“So pretty,” he breathed out, stroking the corner of your lip with his thumb. He held you up slightly, zipping down your dress till your collarbones were fully exposed for him to see. And he paused there to admire you for a second, staring as if he hadn't seen anyone in a bra before.
Your legs rested back against the mattress as he sprinkled little kisses on your neck, nibbling at certain places for a while before pressing himself against your thigh.
He was hard.
Something about this made you moan and Heeseung could have sworn it to be the prettiest sound he'd ever heard. With that, he fully-stripped you out of your dress, leaving you in your lace panties and a bra, straps falling down as he made space to place even more open-mouthed kisses on your clavicle.
You sighed, kneading your fingers in his silky hair, eyes closing with the euphoric sensation coursing through your body. He felt perfect, his skin burning with need made the whole room feel hotter.
“I should have kissed you sooner,” he groaned, and it made you wetter than you already were, panties soaking wet and he was just getting started.
You tugged on his shirt, which he removed in a swift — courtesy of the number of unbuttoned buttons. It was mesmerising, you had never been this intimate with anyone, so running your fingers on his toned torso felt like something coming straight out of your dream.
“Does it feel good, baby?” he asked you.
“Hmm,” you held on his shoulder as he got rid of your bra, slowly swirling his finger around your nipples — making them harden under his touch, “So good!” you gasped.
He chuckled, replacing his fingers with his mouth, sucking on your tits gently while he decided to explore greater areas with you, by caressing your lower abdomen, inching closer to your pathetically wet core with each passing second.
You wanted to say something, to do something yet all you could muster was a weak whimper as you clenched around nothing. His tongue worked wonders on your boobs and you couldn't help but look at him.
He was so invested, you could see how he was at a war with himself, wanting to fuck you right that second but also in need to make you feel good.
“M—more,” you mumbled lowly.
“Yeah?“ he gently touched your wetness, “Want more?” he asked, moving your panties to the side and rubbing one of his finger against your folds.
“So wet, did I make you that needy?” he bit his lip, enjoying each second of making you a shy mess.
His arm flexed as he experimentally dipped his two digits deep inside your pussy, giving it a good stretch before slowly pumping it in and out. A short moan escaped your mouth, turning into a hum right after.
That encouraged him to further get down, spreading your legs even more, completely discarding your panties before continuing to use his slender fingers on your folds, thumb further stimulating your clit.
His breath could be felt on your core, your fingers only brought his face closer to where you needed him the most.
“I've heard that scissoring helps,” he explained before spreading his fingers inside you, stretching your walls even more.
“Y—you've heard?” you asked, biting your lip to conceal a moan.
He let out a breathy laugh, brushing his lips against your pussy, “I've never done this before, sweetheart,” he confessed, somehow shy. “You're my first as well.”
Your heartbeat skyrocketed at his revelation, you couldn't help but hold yourself up, grabbing his hand and making him look right at your breathless and very naked self.
“What?” you had honestly thought that he had some experience, he most certainly did seem like he knew what he was doing.
“Like I said, I trust you,” he whispered, thumb brushing delicately on your cheekbone.
Despite the fact that you felt insanely needy, just like Heeseung, you couldn't help but feel loved at his nonchalant gestures.
Without saying much, you pulled him in yet another kiss. It was mesmerising to say the least and he ended up smiling into the kiss, gently squeezing your tit and gasping when he felt your fingers near his clothed crotch.
“Fuck,” he groaned deeply, not stopping for a second as he plunged his fingers with a newfound speed. “Perfect.” he praised, worshipping your body with each peck and caress he left on you.
Massaging his cock, which was fully hardened now, you couldn't wait to feel him around you. Also slightly scared as you wondered if you'll be able to take him in.
Just as before, you tugged on his jeans the next, whimpering as a way to beg him for more, which he understood, getting up and unbuckling his belt before sliding his jeans down along with his boxers.
Now that his cock was free and hit his lower abdomen, you gasped to see his size. He was big. You hadn't seen a dick in real life before but knowing from the porn videos you had previously watched, his dick was certainly admirable. His tip was leaking with precum.
“Oh god—” you breathed out when he took out two foil packets from the discarded jeans, holding them close to his stomach, which also put grabbed your attention, he had faint abs which suited his body well.
“You came prepared, I see.” teasing Heeseung was like your second nature.
“Sungchan gave them to me to use with you, but who knew it'll actually come in handy?” he got on top of you again, his dick pressing against your inner thigh.
His expression turned serious the exact moment he asked you the next question, “You sure about this?”
“Yes,” you nodded, “Please, Hee, I need you so much.”
The desire in your voice made his dick twitch, he cursed yet again and grabbed one packet of condom.
“Hee—” you stopped him, grabbing the rubber from him, “Can I put it on you?” you weren't sure where that bravery came from, although you didn't regret it a bit. Especially when you saw him shiver at your offer, he was just as desperate if not more.
You squeezed his shaft, rolling the condom down his dick. He licked his lips while watching your actions the whole time, throwing his head back, “I'll fucking cum if you keep doing that,” he said when you generously kissed his tip before moving back.
He wanted to fuck you then and there.
“You drive me crazy,” he groaned, his lips ghosting your neck.
He positioned himself, his tip at your entrance as you wrapped your arms around his shoulder, foreheads touching.
“I'll go slow, let me know when to stop, yeah?”
He assured you even though it was the first for him too.
You whispered out another yes, closing your eyes as he pumped his dick a few times before entering your cunt, your wetness making it easy for him to bottom out.
The voice you let out was a mixture of moan and whimper, the stretch making you clench around his dick as he groaned your name.
You took deep breaths as Heeseung showered you with pepper light kisses all over your face and neck, caressing every part of your body as best as he could muster.
He could have sworn you looked like an angel.
“So pretty, so fucking beautiful oh lord—” his voice strained as he started thrusting into you, slowly and sloppily, as best as he could acclimatise with the newfound experience — just as you were doing.
And soon enough, the pleasure took over the pain. Your moans grew louder enough to resonate in your cabin and you genuinely hoped no one else heard you or they won't let you breathe the next day.
His name was on your tongue, your mind, your whole body.
Lee Heeseung, the guy you gave your virginity to.
And the guy who gave his virginity to you.
His hair bounced with each time he pistoned in you, breathing getting harder and lips pressed on the side of your cheek, close to your ear.
“You close, baby?” he asked softly.
“Mhm, you feel so good, Hee,” you brokenly mumble, gasping when he rubs your clit, other hand also shifting you impossibly closer to him.
He still took it slow, memorising each of your expressions and your voice, imprinting the whole thing in his mind to stay forever.
He went on as if he was devoted was you while you admired him for being so good to you. He mapped out your blissful face as you softly rocked your hips against his.
Your pussy throbbed as you approached your orgasm, “H–hee, I'm so close—”
He could feel it, your legs shaking and your walls clenching around him which succeeded in making his dick twitch, his own orgasm close.
“Go on, sweetheart,” he kissed your temple.
Your back arched as you released your juices all over his cock, your walls squeezing his cock, making him feel proud of himself for being able to please you and also the boost for him to come.
The sight only stimulated him to moan out your name lowly, filling the condom up with his own cum before collapsing on top of you, making sure to not put too much of his weight on you.
You certainly did feel sore after that session, your fingers softly brushing his hair away from his forehead as you pressed a soft kiss there, which successfully made him snuggle closer to your body.
“Thank you,” it came out as a whisper.
“No, thank you for trusting me,” he said earnestly.
He took off the now cum filled rubber and threw it in the trashcan kept beside your bed.
You smiled, warmth spreading in your chest as you cradled his neck, pulling him in. The kiss was slow and sensual, the heart-melting kind and you enjoyed how his tongue explored your mouth. A sigh leaves your mouth in unison.
“How do you feel?” you couldn't help but ask him.
“Euphoric,” he smiled as you laughed. “And you?” he asked, tracing your spine.
“Well, I feel heavenly,” you grinned, content with the proximity.
“Come on, let's get you cleaned up.” he got up, getting you his black shirt to cover up for a while as he wore his boxers.
You quietly scanned his body, wondering how you got lucky enough to share this moment with someone so attractive. His red and swollen lips made him look even more appealing.
He helped you get up, holding your waist when you told him how sore your legs feel, holding you by your waist and helping you settle on the sink as he gets a few paper napkins.
You observe as he cleans you up with the wet napkins, mouth forming into a pout with concentration — the whole situation making you feel shy.
“Why?” he asked as he noticed you avoiding eye contact. “Shy now? You were moaning my name just a few minutes back—” you cut him off by slapping his shoulder.
He laughed, settling himself between your legs when you wrapped your arms around him, burying your face in his neck.
“I like you a lot, y/n,” he confessed and you held on tighter.
It felt like a dream — like you'd wake up tomorrow and he won't be there with you.
“I like you a lot more,” you whispered.
And it felt real — his lips on yours, they felt real, the butterflies in your stomach, they all felt real.
He held you tenderly, as he had always wanted to, singing you to sleep and whining each time you opened your eyes to look at him. His tousled hair covered his eyes, which in your opinion, made him look even prettier. You called him cute, acting as if you didn't beg for his dick a while back.
He falls asleep faster in your embrace, hugging you just the way he wanted to, when he was envious of Sungchan's poor plushie. But hey, he did get you after all.
With another look regarded with fondness, you kissed his cheek, murmuring a 'good night' to him before joining him in the dreamland.
To say Isa was shocked would be an understatement. Coming back to see Heeseung and you cuddling like the tooth-rotting, fluffy couple from a cheesy rom-com while sleeping together wasn't a scene she had expected to see.
She also thanked the blanket for covering a very shirtless Hee and a very loose-shirt-clad you, rushing to freshen up, leaving soon after to give you both privacy.
It was the last day at the camp, you all would leave tomorrow morning. But you were happy, waking up in Heeseung's arms, he pulled you closer when he saw you awake.
“Morning, Bambi,” you cooed.
“Is that what I am now?” he asked groggily.
You hummed, soon letting out a yelp as he helped you stand up again. He knew you were sore still and he made it his mission to stay by your side the whole day.
He accompanied you while freshening up, the tip of his ears getting red seeing you wearing his shirt, the top buttons were undone and your hair was messy.
He called you pretty endlessly.
Even during the breakfast, he made sure you say down first and got you the food himself as you avoided the questions thrown by both your roommates — which he answered after coming back, “She's tired, don't bother her.” he exaggerated, succeeding in making you roll your eyes, it made him giggle.
Stupidly cute Lee Heeseung.
He then insisted on sitting at the same spot under the tree where you had carved your initials. “Now we really do look like a couple,” he smirked, coming closer.
“Let's be it then,” you pecked his nose, “For a day.”
A day, that's what you had since you both despised the idea of online dating now that you had a taste of what you could be when together.
“My girlfriend,” he breathed out, kissing you tenderly, “For a day.” his forehead bumped against yours softly. The cool breeze uplifts your mood as you sat with him, hand in hand, exchanging soft kisses between your conversations.
Safe to say, he didn't leave your side the entire day, pouting and calling you his girlfriend with a goofy smile — which grew further when you called him your pretty boy.
You were elated, smiling the whole day which came naturally to you, courtesy of your boyfriend. The pain subsided soon, which allowed you to take a walk for a while now that it was nighttime.
Heeseung had gone to his cabin for a while to pack his belongings, he wanted you to come along but you had different plans.
Grabbing a towel, you slowly made your way through the park and to that very place where the lake was. The part used for swimming practices to be precise.
Stripping yourself until you were in your bra and panties, you slowly walked into the lake, the lukewarm water reaching your chest. You sighed, staring at the night sky, mentally reminding yourself that you'll have to leave tomorrow.
You had grown to love this place, you spend all your summers here. Meeting Heeseung only added to your list of joys.
And just like that, you closed your eyes and enjoyed your minute of solitude.
“Really? Without me?” you turned to see Heeseung removing his t-shirt, and getting in the water with you.
You had no clue how he found you but you were glad. You hummed teasingly and he wrapped his arms around you.
“No one's around, wanna make out?” he offered, eyes shining.
“I don't know, Hee. What if someone sees us—” he didn't let you continue your teasing any further.
His lips were on yours already.
This feeling — amazing.
You weren't sure what love was. But you knew that Heeseung was the closest person you could associate with the word — love.
He was delighted to know that Isa won't be the room yet again and he took that opportunity to spend the night with you. It consisted of plethora of kisses and a – as said by Heeseung – diminutive amount of touching.
But he did love to hold you, to grip your body and caress all of it, being deep into body worshipping as per your observations.
“Good night, girlfriend,” he said with a full heartedly.
He made you happy.
Especially when he held on to you the entire night and didn't let go of you even when you woke up. You could see the sadness in his eyes, a small frown on his face.
“Can't we stay for longer?” he asked, knowing the answer already.
You hated time.
His hand never left yours till you reached the bus area, saying your goodbyes to everyone. He held it tighter when the art guy came all the way over to say bye to you.
You found his jealousy cute.
Isa was supposed to leave in the same bus as you, which would give you more time with her later, whereas Sungchan had another bus, just like Heeseung — all going different ways.
Mr. Jin had winked seeing your locked fingers, “Plenty of time at night, just as I said,” he started, “Ah, young love!” he gushed.
You both exchanged looks, trying to get away and to save yourself from further embarassment.
“Everyone is staring,” you whispered when he pulled you closer by your belt loop.
“Let them,” he mumbled.
The luggage was loaded, the buses scheduled to depart in five minutes and you both were having a hard time letting go. Keeping your tears at bay was another challenge for you.
“I'll miss you so much,” he sighed and you said the same.
He even gave you a chocolate bar to give to your little sister. He remembered these little things about you which made it even harder for you to leave him.
And then he kissed your for the last time, passionately under the sky, with no care about others who we openly watching, someone mumbled ‘about time’ but you were too busy absorbing everything Hee had to offer.
His lips were still sweet from the drink he had during breakfast, his smell ever strong — perfectly enough to send your brain into overdrive.
And just like that, your summer romance came to an end, the end which you despised more than anything.
Being the angel he was, he gave you his prettiest smile before parting ways.
The first tear fell down when the bus officially left the camp, Isa holding you through it all.
She was an angel.
Yes, you hated how it ended all so fast, but going back, you wouldn't change a thing.
He put in efforts to text you. His enthusiasm made your cheeks hurt from smiling too much. Which made your sister suspicious of you having a boyfriend.
But again, you didn't have any labels after your one-day-relationship. Your first and only relationship.
Things switched a month later when his mocks for university started, his undivided attention on studying and his career, which you admired.
Until you lost touch.
All his socials went down, deactivated when the exams came but he did have the decency to tell you in advance, and you knew it wouldn't be the same after.
And you were right.
That's how your summer romance came to a bittersweet end.
So you wrote him a letter.
The one you'd never send out. Ever.
Dear Lee Heeseung,
First of all, I absolutely despise how much I miss your honey doe eyes which I looked forward to seeing each day during the entirety of the camp. You're like the epitome of perfection with your good looks, neverending talents and most importantly, your impressive approach at sweet-talking.
That's the core reason why I came to the realisation that I am capable of liking a certain person beyond words. You had me conflicted, Hee.
You were calm, collected, yet nervous and charming, you called me pretty while showing me the most glorious sky I had ever laid my eyes upon. Perhaps that was the cue for me to stop. But you made it so hard that I only fell harder.
You think you were so cool, calling me pretty names, stealing me away and nonchalantly singing songs which you knew would send me deeper into the spiral.
When I met you for the first time, I was taller and you were a lean guy who cried each time you fell down during trails and games. But then you came back taller, prettier with a mischievous glint in your eyes and I knew this year wasn't going to be remotely the same when things switched and you were the one who kept my frame up the entire time, almost like a bodyguard. But at the same time, you made my knees go weak. Sure, your looks were alluring from the very start but I never saw you beyond the line of friends.
But I knew I was a goner when you asked me for a good night kiss. A very sly move of you. Then you actually kissed me in the woods and completely took over my mind, also accepting how you indeed wanted to kiss me.
I could have sworn I hated that day, we didn't have answers. But once you came over knocking on the door at night, and kissed me with everything you had to offer, you gave me a piece of you I would never forget. And I fell in love with that day.
Friends falling for each other, how cliché of us, isn't it? ’Friendship is love’ you had said, was that your way to confess early? I wouldn't deny, it made my heart skip a beat.
I loved you. I loved how caring you were, I would be lying if I said I didn't want more of you.
I'm uncertain as to why I'm writing this, maybe because it stings how short-lived our ‘romance’ was. I could simply blame the distance for it, however, I also wonder — Should we have tried harder?
Love, The girl who took your v card.
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jmdbjk · 4 months
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Hello 2024
I did a thing:
We know there will be lots to look forward to but if you find yourself with some time, please read the book, Beyond the Story.
A lot of things that are confusing, especially to those who weren't around since 2013, can be understood more clearly through the words of the members in the book.
If you can, watch the docuseries Beyond the Star. So much information from them, in their own words, their tone of voice, and in context with what they are trying to communicate, adds another layer of context.
And watch the recent HYBE Labels series that explains what T&D is... their staff become emotionally attached to their trainees too. To see them bloom into fully rounded artists that take off on their own journeys must be an amazing experience. It helps to have real human faces to associate with "the company."
The series should be eye-opening for some. I hope it is. Hearing that Namjoon and BTS formed the foundation for how they develop trainees... imagine that... huh...
You will learn so much about them and how they got to this point.
That's not to say that they didn't work hard, that they weren't pushed, that they didn't question themselves, but the big picture is that they were young, making it up as they went, both the members as individuals and the company itself. Bang PD had the experience but he also had other ideas that broke away from the normal.
Not to mention the enormous pushback, bullying, downright hate, they received all through it. I don't know how they kept going.
It took years for them to be able to stop, take stock in what they'd accomplished and how they got there and then decide what they wanted to do from then on. And then they did it again this past year, choosing to forge ahead as a group with their company.
I believe they indeed talked about ten, twenty, even thirty years and have tentatively outlined what they want to accomplish. I think they are working their way toward whatever it is they envisioned.
Nothing is a coincidence but I bet a LOT is serendipity.
On another note, my two that I pay closest attention to...
Jungkook tried all year to tell us they were a pair. And Jimin... bless his heart. What a handful he has, right? Maybe they are both a handful for each other and that's why they are together right this minute.
Jimin sort of intimated in his last live that after MS he can do whatever he wants without hindrance, whether he means pushing the envelope with his creativity or just being able to work without anything hanging over him...
And Jungkook is apparently building a wonderful and securely-walled place to live that will be ready for when they're discharged. Very large for one person and a dog...yeah, it's huge.
Just my own thoughts here: at this point, with everything we know, the possibility could be that Jimin and Jungkook may live together following MS. There will be enough room in that place for sure, 5 levels? 12,000 square feet? It's huge. Why wouldn't they? That's just my own thought.
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jwirecs · 5 months
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RECOMMENDED BTS FICS OF OCTOBER 2023💖
hello, hello! here are my bts recs of october! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝
** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **
🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite
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Photograph || @i-am-baechu💕💔✅
↳ Jimin hated Y/N. Y/N didn’t know why. It all changed with a photograph.
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Beside You || @nochukoo97🔞💕✅
↳ you miss your boyfriend after not seeing him for a long time, so who could blame you if you couldn’t resist him once you saw him?
Claimed || @bethschamberoftales🔞💕💔✅
↳ He promised that he is going to fuck you hard so you won't be able to walk after that. You took that lightly but the thing is, Jungkook never breaks his promises.
Finish Line || @bonny-kookoo🔞💕🔄
↳ He's one of the best, no race too tough to handle, every track a new challenge he takes on- especially when it's you who's waiting at the finish line for him.
Loverboy || @kookslastbutton🔞💕💔✅
↳ After a startling conversation with your coworkers, you start feeling insecure about your sexual prowess. You don't initiate as much, you haven't worn lingerie yet, and you're still timid about doing much seducing with your body–are you giving your boyfriend boring sex? Taehyung reassures you that you are perfect and have nothing to worry about.
Never Goodbye || @smutlvrrr🔞💕✅💯💯💯
↳ It’s never goodbye, I’ll always see you again…
Support System || @bangtanfanfiction🔞💕✅
↳ You’re the support system Hoseok needs in times of uncertainty without his members. And you make sure he knows it. 
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Masked Miracles || @remedyx🔞💕💔🔄
↳ It wasn't supposed to happen this way. A quick in and out. Infiltrate and bring down a hybrid trafficking ring. Saving lives while we're at it. But things hardly ever go to plan. And being locked in with seven hybrids that meant more to me than victims forced into a life they didn't deserve was definitely not according to the plan.
Safe And Sound || @bearr02🔞💕💔🔄
↳ You have worked at a hybrid rehab and adoption center for years, enjoying being able to help people others only see as their animal side. You thought you might end up taking in one or two, what you didn’t expect however, was to take in 7.
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A Thief's End || @eleni-cherie🔞💕💔✅
↳ he thought he was done with the criminal life and ready for some peace and quiet. but his plans collapsed in the form of a strange girl who was in trouble.
Best Served Cold || @anotherbtswriter🔞💕💔✅💯
↳ Yoongi is at the bottom of the organization just trying to stay alive when the story starts.
City Of Lights || @sunnebeam🔞💕💔🔄
↳ (theres no summary, but i will put the warnings instead! - warnings: gangster squad au, smut (18+), cheating, mafia shit, minor character death, murder, mentions of blood)
Cruel Intentions || @explicit-tae🔞💕💔✅
↳ You adored your eldest brother - you truly did. Before his addiction got the best of him, he was amazing at caring for you and your other siblings. Now, however, it was your turn to care for him without the help of your siblings who long abandoned him, advising you to do the same. Once your brother manages to get himself imprisoned, you realize just how much trouble he got himself into. Once your family is threatened, you offer to pay off the debts your brother owes with the one thing any powerful man couldn't resist - your virginity.
Darkest Little Paradise || @sunnebeam🔞💕💔🔄
↳ (theres no summary, but i will put the warnings: mafia au, smut (18+), sex work, mentions of past accident, amnesia / memory loss, more warnings to be added upon series completion)
My Beauty, My Blood || @7cypher🔞💕💔✅
↳ With Namjoon out of the picture, Jeongguk has to step up and be the sole successor to the organization laid out before him. However, guilt doesn’t escape him very easily, and neither does your persistence.
Vixen || @star-my🔞💕💔✅
↳ The door to the opulent room swung open soundlessly, allowing the tall, muscular man to enter unnoticed. He cleared his throat, gaining the attention of the young woman seated at the vanity.
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After Hours || @archivedkookie🔞💕💔🔄💯💯
↳ staying after hours with Yoongi for months proves to be a mistake when your heart falls for him.
Champagne Confetti || @busanboykoo🔞💕✅💯
↳ “you won't regret me, champagne confetti” or maybe just jungkook wants you to tell him what you want him to do to you.
Flower Girl || @nochukoo97💕✅
↳ you’re in charge of mentoring jungkook, a convict who’s currently doing community service. as time goes by, you grow closer and closer to the man, finding out more about him and his past. jungkook makes you crazy with his small gestures, he makes your cheeks turn the same shade as carnations, he makes you dizzy. most of all, he makes you his flower girl
Mami || @kithtaehyung🔞✅
↳ you somehow have a conversation with yoongi, and you tell your roommate about a date date.
Nothing New || @myg-butterfly💕💔✅
↳ You get hurt and have to find a replacement. You just didn't think that replacement extended to your relationship with the BTS members. Will they still want you when you're nothing new?
Oh, Angel! || @yoongiofmine🔞💕✅
↳ Ever since he met you, Hoseok just couldn’t resist you. Even though you were off limits -many years younger than him and an intern on his sister’s company-, he just had to make you his. You were the perfect baby for him, docile and pliant. What happens when you decide to be a little brat instead?
Oh, Darling! || @yoongiofmine🔞💕💔✅
↳ Starting your second semester at one of South Korea’s most prestigious universities should be stressful enough. Between juggling classes, good grades and a social life, your plate was full. Hoping to spice up your academic career, you thought it was a good idea to enroll as an assistant for your literature professor, whom you've held a very secret and very forbidden crush on for the past several months. What will happen now that you’re forced to work closely together? And what if your crush isn’t as one sided as you thought?
Peek-A-Boo! || @namfinessed💕💔✅
↳ at a camp that you hated, you find yourself falling for a man that tries to sneak into your tent.
Punching Bag? || @bonobonoyaatheart💕💔✅
↳ You care and worry for Jungkook? In return, you feel like his emotional punching bag, despite of his intentions being different.
Set Me Free || @casuallyimagining💕💔✅
↳ Tired of being told how to live his life and unsure of where he stands in the world, Yoongi--your soulmate--yearns to be free. When you give him what he wants, it causes a rift in your relationship that seems irreparable. 12 years later, you find him back in your life. Can you mend your relationship? Do you even want to?
Sun Chasers & Moon Watchers || @foredelweiss💕💔✅
↳ after constantly transferring from school to school every couple of months, you've long accepted the impermanence of many aspects of your life. you never expected to want the world to allow you to spend a little more time with seven individuals. your days with them were one of the most beautiful moments in life.
The Five-Year Plan || @jknoah🔞💕💔🔄
↳ you've always had a very strict life plan. when you were twenty you sat down and made your five-year plan, you would get married, get your dream house, have your dream career and then at the end of those five years you'd have a kid. everything was going perfectly to plan, well until your husband came home with divorce papers. now you're somehow trying to stay on track, maybe you could convince your best friend to have a baby with you?
The Monster In The Dark || @themochiverse🔞💔✅💯
↳ Sleep paralysis is a common concern for everyone, but once your episodes start to become more frequent, you meet a horrid monster. A horrid monster who has only come for you to join him in his world. You can't run, you can't hide, but you can only watch whatever the hell is going to happen to you right now.
Ungodly Hours || @explicit-tae🔞💕✅💯
↳ That time you - a broke college student - were willing to do just about anything for a hulu account after your brother kicks you off of his - (and Jungkook would do anything to have you).
Venom || @nochukoo97🔞💕💔✅💯💯💯
↳ after a nasty breakup with your ex, who was a boxer, the person who introduced you to the sport, you decided to make life easier for yourself and switch clubs. little did you know that your club leader, also known as ‘venom’ in the ring, would eventually spark your interest. no matter how much jungkook interests you, you can’t bear to risk another failed relationship, you’re still hurt and traumatised from the inside. but will jungkook manage to crawl his way into your heart?
Do check out all of the other BTS Fics that i have reblogged as well!!
** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **
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staytinyville · 3 months
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Stay Alive (38)
BTS poly!ot7 x Reader
Magical Creatures AU
Series Masterlist
Warnings: none
A/N NOT BETA. EXCUSE FOR THE NOT UPDATING. Holiday Season is over though so that very short hiatus is over! We will (Hopefully) get back to our regularly scheduled programming.
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There was something about going through a magical portal that would take you to another part of the country that really did not sit right with your stomach. It passed over time. It was a lot like going on a plane for the first time and feeling sick. The more you did it the more it would go away. At least that’s what Hobi told you. 
Yoongi and Teahyung had taken you to their hometown in Daegu. Yoongi was the one to win the paper, rock, scissors which meant you would be visiting his family first. 
It was a bit of a hard thing to explain to you. He loved his family, but he said there were just things they didn’t agree with him on. It wasn’t like they didn’t miss him when he disappeared–any family would. It more so had to do with the fact that Yoongi wanted to do other things that weren’t in their ideals. 
But you had told him no matter what, they were still going to be his family. And you were sure they missed him just as much as he missed them. 
“It looks just like Daegu back home.” You said, looking at all the buildings that resembled your own home. 
You realized the boys were in fact right when it came to modernization of their world. With the past two days having been spent inside mountains, you did forget for a moment what their world was like. It wasn’t primal like you would assume. In fact it was much more advanced. 
“You've been?” Yoongi asked you, leading you towards where you assumed his home was. 
“I've traveled a good amount around Korea.” You answered. 
“Come on, my palace is this way.” Yoongi told you, pointing up some stairs. 
“Palace?” You paused for a moment, eyes going wide. 
At this point you had realized the boys never really spoke about their home lives before being kidnapped. Well, at least the older boys didn’t. The younger ones didn’t hesitate to answer your questions when you had them back at the facility. 
A great example was finding out that Jin was actually a prince. You honestly figure it was something very important to tell someone. With Yoongi telling you he lived in a palace you assumed he too was going to come out as some kind of prince but he was quick to catch your facial expression. 
“Yes.” Yoongi hummed, grabbing your hand to intertwine with his. “When you live as long as I have you tend to get your own homes made huge.” He explained, climbing up the steps. 
“Are you older than Jin?” You asked. 
“No, he's older than me but only a year.” Yoongi answered. “Namjoon is also older than the others due to dragon life spans.”
You figured Yoongi must have been one of the older boys along with Jin. Everyone knew vampires were immortal and lived long lives. There might have been different versions of each vampire but seeing as Yoongi drank blood only, he must have been the more common version. The ones who hated the sun and slept during the day. 
You purse your lips in a mocking way. “You know, you have always complained about the light but yet here we are outside in the sun. Seems to me like you just wanted to make complaints.” You giggled, swinging Yoongi’s arm lightly as you finally came up on the end of the stairs. 
He turned to you, leaning to place his forehead against yours and bump his nose along your own. You giggled, scrunching up your nose as Yoongi gave your lips a quick peck. “I just like the dark more.” He told you. 
You began to blush as he pulled away and his gummy smile was on full display. You skipped behind him, waiting patiently as he knocked on a door with long walls on either side that stretched like a covering for the inside of the building. The door wasn’t as large or grand as Jin’s palace but it was still clear that this was a mansion meant for the wealthy or royalty. 
The door took a moment to open, the little woman who was trying her hardest to shove the large wood open grunted as it finally swung open. When she finished wiping her hands along her apron, her eyes went wide as she took in the two of you standing on the other side of the door. 
She squeaked, gasping as she suddenly stood up straighter. “Master Yoongi!” She cried out. 
“He's returned, everyone!” She screamed, turning around to face the other staff members of the household walking around the yard. 
The three or so workers who were outside stopped what they were doing, some even dropping the things they were holding to stare with wide eyes at you and Yoongi walking through the gate. All of them got up and began to clap, one of them had begun to cry as they crowded around Yoongi. You watched as he laughed with them, a smile spreading on your face from how happy he looked to be at home.  
“Oh we are so blessed to have you home, sir.” An older woman gushed, pulling Yoongi in for a hug. “We have prayed and prayed for your safe return.” She squished his cheeks together, softly cooing at him like a grandma would her grandchildren. 
“It's good to be back.” Yoongi told the woman. 
Your eyebrows perked up when you notice him looking in your direction catching everyone else’s attention. 
“Master Yoongi has a mate!” The girl who opened the door gushed. 
You laughed a little as the staff members turned to you and began to ask Yoongi about your relationship. The girl who had opened the door for you was a young elf judging by the sharply pointed ears she had. Yoongi told you she was considered one of the young ones and hadn’t been working with his family for long. The older woman was apparently his nanny when he was a child. She was a dragon so she had been within the family for a long while. 
“Min Yoongi!” Someone shouted from the steps of the palace. “I knew it was you the moment you returned to Daegu!” A joyful man grinned brightly, holding his arms out as he stepped down to get to where you both were. 
“Sunbaenim.” Yoongi smiled, bowing his head slightly which prompted you to do the same. 
When Yoongi leaned back up, the older man brought him in a hug, patting him on the back before looking over at you.
“Who is this lovely lady?” He asked, surprising you by giving you a hug as well. “You smell divine.” He joked, taking in a deep breath. 
“This is (Y/N).” Yoongi answered. “My mate.”
“Oh how wonderful it it's to hear you've settled down!” The man gushed. “I am Park Jae-Sang. Pleasure.” He bowed his head in greeting. “Come, come! Your family has set up a wonderful dinner for all of us. Your closest friends have attended as well.” 
Jae-Sang led the both of you up the steps and into the palace, a beautiful structure that just called your attention in every detail. He led you towards what you assumed was the dining room from the table and people seated or standing around. They were talking to one another before turning when they heard you all step in. 
“Yoongi.” You heard someone say breathlessly. 
“Eomma.” Yoongi said quietly, eyes wide as he looked at the woman. 
“We’re sorry.” She sobbed out, rushing forward into Yoongi. “We’re so sorry. We didn’t–We didn’t want bad things to happen to you and look where it led you.” She shook her head against Yoongi’s chest, her fingers tightening against the back of his shirt. 
You took a step back for a moment, allowing Yoongi’s family to hug him as you watched. You took in a shaky breath, a small smile forming on your face as you took in their interactions. You could never understand what it must be like for the boys' mothers to have their son’s taken from them. You weren’t a mother to get that feeling just yet. 
But you were a daughter. And you knew that even if you and your parents don’t see eye to eye on certain things, no matter what they still took care of you and raised you to be the person you are. They were the people who watched you take your first breath and hoped to never see you take your last. Each one of the boys had left to start their own lives and you could only imagine what it was like for their parents to get a call that they had been kidnapped.
“We’re sorry we weren’t there.” She sniffled. 
“It’s okay, Eomma.” Yoongi sniffled, kissing the top of his mother’s head. “I’m back home now. That’s all that matters.”
You blinked away the tears, sniffling a bit causing Yoongi’s mom to turn and look at you. She gasped quietly, giggling to herself as she noticed you there. 
“And you have a mate.” Yoongi’s mother wiped at her tears, trying to clean her nose. “After so long! I’m not getting any younger, sir!” She laughed, coming to hold your hands in hers. 
“Oh dear, it’s going to be hard to not eat you up.” She joked, pinching your cheeks. 
“Eomma.” Yoongi warned, causing the others to laugh. 
“I’m just kidding.” The woman shook her head playfully. “You already have enough problems with the other 6 boys, I’m sure.”
You laughed, nodding your head in agreement. With that, all of the other guests gathered around to greet both you and Yoongi. 
After they had all eaten–and Yoongi’s mother made one of the servants go fetch you some food–Yoongi took to showing you around his home. It wasn’t an extravagant palace like the one’s royalty used. But it was large enough to house a very important person. He explained to you the history behind the home, telling you it belonged to his father when he had been on the council. You almost scoffed when you remembered that Yoongi was a vampire. 
You took notice of how different the material was in the building and things weren’t as unstable compared to back home. While you knew the government tended to preserve most of the palaces, Yoongi told you that his home hadn’t been changed since it was built. 
“This is so much different from the palaces back home.” You hummed, looking at one of the columns that was made out of some kind of jade. 
“Yes, they have to accommodate a lot of our magical needs.” Yoongi told you, watching you with a small smile. 
You turned around to face him, catching his soft look. “You must be so happy to be home.” You told him, walking closer. 
Yoongi hummed, taking your hand before placing a kiss on your wrist. “I'm sure all of us are.” He told you, thumb brushing against your pulse. “Especially with you here.”
You watched as he continued his affections on your vein, tilting your head. “You always find my pulse points. Is it a vampire thing?” You giggled. 
“It is.” He mocked. “Blood is what keeps us alive. It’s what keeps me alive.” He pulled you closer to him, looking down at your turned wrist. “If I so wanted to, I could easily suck you dry and kill you in a few seconds.” 
You raised your eyebrows in a challenge, watching as he looked up at you. A large grin spread across his face as his arms wrapped around your waist. 
“I love you, (Y/N).” He whispered against your lips.
“I love you too, Yoongi.” You smiled, pressing your lips against his.
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Series Masterlist
@h3arteyes4mingi , @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh , @rinkud, @rln-byg , @singukieee ,  @hoshi-is-ult-bbg , @ldysmfrst , @k-p0p-4ever , @shadowyjellyfishfest , @forestsquirrel , @juju-227592 , @alienchickenpoop , @dreamerwasfound , @afangirl91 , @psiphidragon , @puppyminnnie , @girl-nahh-two , @shyloh-the-cornsnake , @oemmi2005 , @ollyoxenfrees , @whynotlarene , @beeltsumu , @cryingpages , @milopenne , @belikejk , @thatonedemigodfromseoul , @woozixo, @serveruslovebot , @vintageoldfashion ,
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love u lately (m) #9 | myg/knj/pjm
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title: love u lately​ chapter title: #9 - pour up pairing: yoongi x f. reader, namjoon x f. reader, jimin x f. reader (yoonminjoon x f. reader) rating/genre: m (18+) ; smut ; college/university au , pseudo frat! bts; best friends! yoonminjoon friends to lovers; summary: welcome to your "fuck it" era. you ran away and haven't returned back to the house since the fight with yoongi and jimin. you're not sure how namjoon hasn't caught on to anything yet... but now taehyung, hoseok, and jungkook just invited you to go out to party at some random frat not at your campus and get you to destress from the drama. oh you're going to destress alright. pour up a drink and well, you might... regret... this decision... warnings:  ANOTHER LONG CHAPTER, flashback pov, angsty, stressful, alcohol consumption, dance battle, FIGHTING, multiple fights?, blood mention, crying, THE TRUTH, AND MORE CONFESSIONS, txt appearance, sakura appearance, soyoon and john eun and san appearance, jin lowkey snitching, ANGRY NAMJOON, soft namjoon, throwing up, kissing, SMUT, creampie, fingering, no other smut warnings it's a surprise but its very tame no worries, reader is on BC, good end?, EXTRA POV at the end, a lot happens i can't remember hehehe maybe i am drunk too note: again pls send love to @daegudrama who is in charge of editing these terrible chapter total word count: 14.3k drop date:  April 12th, 2024, 6:00PM PST cross posted on AO3 here ← #8 | Series Masterlist | #10
March 1st [Friday]
It’s been 2 weeks.
2 weeks since the fight.
2 weeks since you have last been “home”.
That’s not to say you haven’t taken a shower or changed out of your clothes since then. God, no.
You’ve been staying in Hwasa’s dorm ever since. Her roommate went on an immersion program abroad, so she has no roommate for this semester. Luckily, you’ve had access to her dorm’s shared bathroom to freshen up and her roommates' baron bed.
As for clothes and other stuff, Jungkook has been bringing you everything you need. He’s the only one you can rely on from the house as you’ve always been the most comfortable around him outside of Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi. He’s also the one who knew about the deal and didn’t tell anyone, aside from blabbering to Jimin back in October. 
You’re not 100% sure what the aftermath was like in that house after you left. But one thing for sure is that the other guys—not involved in the deal—have covered up things to Joon about your disappearance. They know how rocky things are, and if Namjoon knew all of this, you think it could make things a million times worse. You appreciate them stepping in like that though, no matter what they think of the situation.
Jungkook did attempt to recap it all through text, rather thoroughly.
+++++++++++
 — past —
February 15th [Friday]
“You guys done fucked things up now. A three-way relationship? Are you fucking kidding me?” Jin was seething as he scolded Jimin and Yoongi in the living room. The other guys were sitting at the dining table as Jin told them that they had to stay for this ordeal. They sat there in silence, waiting for this to (hopefully) end as soon as possible.
If the argument from earlier didn’t sober everyone up, then Jin’s yelling definitely did.
“And you! Taehyung! What were you thinking asking that?!” Jin pointed his finger at Taehyung.
“Huh? Me!? Jimin was the one who told me to ask something risky if Yoongi pulled that block.” Tae tried to avert his gaze from the older man. 
Everyone groaned. Jenga blocks still remained scattered on the table and on the floor of the living room. Unfinished snacks and drinks remained a mess around the table as well. Jin made a mental note to make Yoongi and Jimin clean up the aftermath of Friday Night Game Night as punishment for what happened.
“But you know what, I expected something like this at some point. Hoseok and Taehyung, please pay up. I take Venmo.” The two men—that Jin name dropped—groaned, pulling out their phones to send him the money. “Hyung, what the hell, man?!” Jimin glanced at them back and forth, appalled. Even Yoongi was confused that there was something like this going on, but he really shouldn’t be the one judging right now. “What? Did you think we didn’t suspect anything? That y’all were slick? There were signs...” Jin’s words drifted off.
“Like?” Yoongi narrowed his eyes at the older man. “Well should I mention the blowjob that Honey gave you in Mr. Kang’s office?” Hoseok interjected as he turned around from his chair. Yoongi’s eyes widened, “What the fuck? H-How did you—” He stumbled on his words. Hoseok didn’t come in until after it ended, he thought. How would he have known!?
“The door may have been closed, but people approaching the door can still hear what goes on behind it. Especially in that old ass building…” Hoseok sighed, “Thought it was just you jacking off in there at first, but when I heard you say, and I quote,  ‘Fuck. You really drive me crazy. You know that, Sunshine?’ I connected the dots quickly. I sat out there waiting until it ended so I could come in to drop my shit.” He emphasized, leaving Yoongi completely speechless.
“Jimin sent me Y/N’s nudes accidently one night!” Taehyung stood up from his chair in an instant, abruptly confessing. “He unsent them, but I caught it! He had to fes’ up to me after that. I thought it was just the both of them in a situationship. Then when Jin said Yoongi hyung was also involved, I couldn’t believe that. But I started connecting the dots during the trip.”
Yoongi narrowed his eyes at Jimin, snarling a bit. Trying to avoid further questioning, Jimin mouths out to him that it happened while he was drunk when he stayed over at Taehyung’s during Christmas break. Though of course, Yoongi cannot read his lips.
“I didn’t lose the bet because I always knew there was a possibility it wasn’t just hyung and Honey after I caught them having sex. Especially based on the conversation Jimin and I had during his birthday party. So I was on Jin’s side.” Jungkook added, then he shrugged. 
“Interesting. Yoongi had told me about a dilemma he had with someone he was seeing. Jimin was also acting a little too clingy to Honey than usual, so I put the pieces together and realized what these two were doing. I thought I was wrong, but Jesus Christ…” Jin sat down in the loveseat, wondering if he had failed as president of Beta Tau Sigma. Should he have not let you move in to prevent this? Or should he have brought it up privately to you three and warned you all not to do it? Whatever scenario he thinks of doesn’t matter. What happened, happened. Now people are hurt and humiliated. He has to step it up to help you guys in any way, especially you. “Does Namjoon hyung know?” Taehyung inquired, earning everyones’ immediate deadpan stare at him. The silent action makes it seem that there is a shared understanding of something. No one wants Namjoon to know what happened. They know that if he finds out, they might have to be ready for their own funerals. “No.” Yoongi answered. “Fair enough. So what’s the plan now?” He followed up with another question. “We don’t even know where Honey went? Is she even somewhere safe?” Taehyung’s attitude towards this situation has been nonchalant, but in reality, he was actually very concerned for your mental wellbeing. He may be a social butterfly fuckboi, but whatever Jimin and Yoongi hid from you was a new low to him. You weren’t very close to him before, but he has grown fond of you in the past 2 years he’s known you. “We’re not telling Namjoon hyung that’s for sure!” Jungkook chimed in, scrolling at his recent messages. “I texted Hwasa because it’s the first person I thought she’d go to. She said that Honey was with her, asleep on her bed. Doesn’t seem like Honey wants to come back anytime soon.”
The guys let out a sigh of relief, though guilt shadowed Jimin and Yoongi. Feeling worn out, Jimin decided to get up from his spot, stumbled a bit and headed up to his room. Jin’s about to follow in pursuit to get him to come back and help clean up, but Yoongi stopped him. “Just let him be, I’ll help clean up if you need it,” The cat-eyed man said, reading into Jin’s intentions. “He’s already mentally punishing himself over this.”
After this, the other guys went into their rooms and called it a night. Yoongi remained in the dimly lit living room area, cleaning the mess that was left behind and reflecting on his frustrations. +++++++++++
You asked Jungkook about Namjoon. You knew that he would start to find things suspicious and eventually interrogate everyone about your whereabouts, like the older sibling figure he is. But Jungkook said that wasn’t the case. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:24PM]: No, Hyung’s been holed up in his room working on his polisci papers or in the lib’s lab room helping his buddies with stuff.
Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: He did ask about you though. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:25PM]: But me and tae said that you’ve been busy working on a mid-semester project with her so you would be staying over at her dorm for a while. Jungkook [Feb 22nd 20XX; 9:27PM]: Yoongi hyung and Jimin have been closed off since then, but Namjoon hyung hasn’t noticed much.
You keep going through your past texts between Jungkook and rereading what was sent. There are more messages from him mentioning that Jimin and Yoongi have been more standoffish towards others, making you feel concerned for them. Wait. No. You shake your head. Why are you even worried? They were the ones who started it. Did they not realize that things were better off platonic, instead of messing with your heart?
You breathe out, locking your phone. You go back to lying down on your side on the bed, closing your eyes to stop yourself from spiraling. The door suddenly unlocks, and the creaking sound marks Hwasa's entrance into the dorm. Opening your eyes, you observe her movements as she places her backpack on the desk. “Hey Hon, did you go to your class at noon?” She asks, her eyes searching yours. You nod, answering, “Yeah, couldn’t skip it today. Professor Watanabe said we were having a quiz because no one asked questions last class. Came back here after class.”
“Ah, gotcha.” Hwasa comes over to settle on your bed, arranging a throw pillow against the wall for comfort. She shifts her position, making herself at home. "How are ya feeling?"
“Better than before, but still not that great.”
“Maybe you should go out tonight. I think Nu Kappa is having a party tonight? Oh wait, Sigma Lambda is for sure having a house party. Let me check in with Joshua for that one because–”
“No.” You cut her off, though the word coming out of your mouth sounded much harsher than you had wanted it to. “I just don’t want to be around people that I know or potentially know me. Or just run into them.” You refer to Yoongi and Jimin with that line, maybe even Namjoon too. 
You want to talk this whole thing over with them, but you’re not ready yet. You just can’t organize your thoughts yet, and you don’t know why. Maybe it’s the anxiety of knowing that a conversation about this would eventually lead to you guys to cut off contact completely. And that could be it. Maybe that’s for the better. 
You will move out of the Beta Tau Sigma house.
Maybe you can ask Student Housing if they’d be willing to let you officially move into Hwasa’s dorm for the rest of the semester.
Yeah, you can manage to make this work out. But is it what you really want?
No. Of course not. But at this point in time, you can’t imagine this going any other way. “My bad, girl. I just wanted to help cheer you up.” Hwasa’s expression becomes somber.
No, no. You didn’t mean it like that. Why can’t your brain work properly?! “No, it’s just— sorry.” You apologize, trying to think of something to brighten up the mood. “But if you want to go out, don’t let me stop you, bestie! Maybe you want to see a special someone out.” 
Hwasa lets out a giggle, “It’s okay, I know you’re going through a lot right now.” She places her hand on your back to give you reassuring rubs. “But I’ll take that suggestion. Joshua told me his friend is making his DJ debut at Sigma Lambda so I wanted to drop by and support.”
Concern crosses your face, “That sounds pretty awesome, but are you okay going alone? I can go with you if you want.” She shakes her head. “Nah, it’s cool. I don’t want to force you to be there when you’re not feeling too hot. I’ll hit up Annie and ask if she’s down to come with me.” “Okay, that sounds good.” You reply, appreciating her understanding and the attempt to bring some normalcy back into the evening.
+++++++++++
Hwasa was in luck because Annie did respond not long after she sent her a text. She invited Hwasa to get ready over at her dorm, which was the nice apartment-like dorm on the northernmost part of campus. Hwasa says that she might come back late, but more than likely, thinks she’ll be knocked out at Annie’s dorm. She’ll keep you posted. Before she leaves that night, she gives you her access card (since you’ve been entering her dorm before thanks to the shared bathroom she has with the 2 girls in the next dorm) and tells you to feel free to go out to get something for dinner. After that happens, you’re left alone now. The Hello Kitty clock on Hwasa’s table read, “8:46 PM” Maybe you should grab something to eat. You honestly haven’t been eating properly. But you are tired of the dining hall food after almost two weeks of eating it. You hated it even when you used to dorm last year. “Maybe I’ll order from DoorDash to treat myself after a tough week,” You say to yourself while you lay down on Hwasa’s big fluffy pink floor rug. Netflix movie night and take-out sounds ideal, right?
Just as you’re scrolling through your phone trying to find an option you’re craving, you hear a loud knock at the door. 
Oh shit.
It’s not Hwasa, right? She would’ve texted you that she was coming back because she forgot something. Then is it the RA? No. Hwasa said she was cool with him, so he wouldn’t snitch you out. Did something else happen?
You get up from your comfortable position to walk towards the door. You’re not gonna lie, you’re a little nervous to open it.
Who the fuck could it even be on a Friday night?
You open it slowly, seeing tall figures coming into view.
“Honey, come out!” “Taehyung!?” You yelp out. Once you recognize the voice, you rapidly open the door wide enough to find Taehyung, Jungkook and Hoseok on the other side. “What the hell are you guys doing here?” You ask. You don’t remember telling them to come over. Even if you did, there’s not much they can do in such a small dorm. This is the first time in two weeks you’re talking to any of the other guys besides Jungkook. “We came over because we want to invite you out,” Hoseok responds this time, signature heart smile showing. “We know you haven’t been feeling well so we want to go with you and let loose!”
You’re getting deja vu from the same conversation you had with Hwasa earlier.
“So go get changed out of your…pajamas.” Jungkook looks down at you as he speaks, somewhat checking you out. A thought in your mind just clicks that he was looking at your chest, wearing no bra and cleavage all out. Men… You’ve been wearing your lace tank top and My Melody pajama pants since you got back from class. You didn’t have any plans of going out after class, so why be dressed up in tight jeans, a shirt and whatever else for the whole day? 
“Look, guys. That sounds like a mighty plan you got there, but I really don’t think I should go.” “But why not? There’s nothing better than drinking and forgetting your regrets! Please come with us!” Taehyung steps in closer, trying to welcome himself inside.
“Because… I’m feeling a little sick…?” The guys look at you in complete disbelief before you admit the truth. “Okay, fine, I don’t want to party around here and see these people.”
“Who said we’re partying here?” Jungkook smirks, “No, we’re going… somewhere else.” “Where is this ‘somewhere else’ you speak of?” You narrow your eyes, mild interest sparking behind them.
“Stop asking so many questions and just get ready. I’ll even help you pick out something.” Hoseok takes this as an opportunity to enter the dorm, where you direct him to your closet of stuff. The two other guys follow in as well and stand there as Hoseok is sifting through the rack mixed with jeans, blouses, skirts and sweaters.  
“Here, this is cute.” He hands you your black heart ring detail halter top, flared jeans, and a black knit cardigan. “Oh, this isn’t that bad of a look? No wonder people say you’re the most stylish on the dance team.” 
Hoseok grins, his eyes lighting up with pride at the compliment. "Well, you know, I've got an eye for these things. Now, go change into this. The night may be young, but we’re not getting any younger here!"
You take the outfit from him, a small smile playing on your lips. "Thanks, Hobi. I appreciate it." You look back at the guys who are still standing in the dorm, chuckling. "Um alright, can you guys step outside the door while I change?"
“Oh whoops!” Jungkook yells out, The three guys scurry out of the dorm, giving you a moment of privacy to change. 
Hoseok calls after you behind the door, "Let me know if you need any makeup tips! I'm a pro at this too."
You chuckle, appreciating the effort to lighten the mood. In the bathroom, you quickly change into the outfit Hoseok picked out. It's a mix of your style but with a touch of Hoseok's fashion flair. The black heart ring detail halter top fits snugly, paired with flared jeans and a cozy black knit cardigan. You glance at yourself in the mirror, the reflection showing a slightly different version of you.
After a deep breath, you open the door, greeted by the approving nods and smiles of Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook. Taehyung claps his hands together. "Looking good! Now, let's get out there and have some fun!"
With excitement now in the air, you grab your bag before you go and you all head out the building.
+++++++++++
Jungkook leads the way to his car, a sleek 2017 Mercedes-Benz C300 parked in the student parking lot next to Hwasa's dorm. The soft glow of the streetlights reflects off the polished surface, and you can't help but appreciate the comfortable luxury of his car. You will always remember that he begged his parents to sign off on it so he could get it as his graduation gift.
Jungkook unlocks the doors, and you all pile in, anticipation building for the night ahead.
The drive is filled with a mix of laughter and excited chatter as you navigate through the city. The atmosphere in the car is lively, the previous stress of weeks ago momentarily forgotten as you stare out of the car looking at the skyline of city lights on the freeway. It feels less suffocating over here. No Jimin. No Yoongi. No Namjoon. Just you and the other boys. You weren’t too keen on coming along with them, but now that you’re sitting here, DEAN’s Pour Up bass boosted on the car speakers, you know you made a good choice. You gotta let loose.
After 20 minutes on the road, Jungkook exits off the freeway into a residential area. As he finds a parking spot, you can hear the distant bass of music and the chatter of college students walking around. Is this another college’s Greek row?  The car engine turns off, and you all step outside looking around the neighborhood.
You're immediately struck by the grandeur of the fraternity houses. They are much bigger than the ones at your college campus, their size and architecture exuding an air of privilege. These houses are easily identifiable by the prominent display of large Greek letters or flags proudly adorning the front, signaling the presence of each fraternity.
Lights spill out from the windows, and the distant sounds of music and laughter grow louder as you approach the houses. The atmosphere is charged with anticipation, and you can't help but feel a mix of excitement and nervousness being here. Though, you’re glad that you won’t run into people you know here. And even if you do, the chance is likely really low. Who would come 20 minutes away to party at another college?
Once this question comes to your mind, you feel a little odd. Wait, are you forgetting something?
Before you can think about it more, Jungkook gently holds your wrist, leading the way through the lively crowds of students walking around, and you follow suit. 
The four of you approach the entrance of one of the bigger fraternity houses, the thumping bass becomes almost palpable. The flag outside says ΗΨΒ— Eta Psi Beta. You’re honestly not familiar with this one as it seems to be one that doesn’t have a chapter at your college. Without hesitation or restrictions, you guys walk into the side entrance leading to the backyard. After several steps of walking along the slightly lit path, you're engulfed in an atmosphere of sights and sounds. The massive backyard is packed with people, the air pulsating with the beats of a 2010s party mix blaring from the speakers. You see a pretty girl with a colorful knit top and black hair DJing the party from the far end of the backyard, along with several people behind her overseeing the vibes. Color-changing lights crisscross above, connected to tall oak trees, casting a warm glow over the lively scene below.
To your right, a makeshift bar is set up, complete with a variety of drinks and colorful cocktails. Students are chatting, dancing, and moving in synchronized rhythm with the music. The atmosphere is infectious, and you find yourself getting into the groove, the worries of the past weeks slowly fading away. 
Jungkook, Taehyung, and Hoseok lead you through the crowd, their excitement contagious. You can't help but marvel at the sheer scale of the party, a stark contrast to the more intimate gatherings you're used to. 
"Isn't this amazing?" Taehyung exclaims over the music, and you respond with an enthusiastic nod.
“How the hell did you guys find this party?” you shout back at him, catching yourself staring at the DJ Girl changing the setlist to some House and UK Garage music to hype up the crowd more.
“Jungkook says he knows a guy here!” Hoseok adds.
“Yeah! We go to the same gym off-campus and box a bit,” Jungkook explains closer to your ear so you could hear amid the lively ambiance. “Oh look! Speak of the devil!” His eyes widen when he sees the man he’s referring to step right up in front of you guys. “Woah! Jungkook! You came!” The man speaks with excitement in his eyes, facial features reflecting a youthfulness that adds to his charm. Like Jungkook, he possesses captivating doe eyes that convey both innocence and a hint of curiosity. He is seemingly younger than your group, however, his height is exactly the same as the trio with you. Jungkook chuckles, going in for a bro hug. “Didn’t think I was going to, but I dragged some friends with me.” Jungkook moves aside to introduce you three, “This is Hoseok, Taehyung, and Y/N.”
“Nice to meet you guys! I’m Taehyun Kang.” He extends a handshake to each of you, catching you off guard. Awkwardly, you take his hand in yours. His politeness radiates, and you can't help but find it adorable.
Taehyun leads the way, gesturing toward the makeshift bar. "Oh! Since you guys are here, let's get some drinks!" he suggests, guiding you through the lively crowd towards the vibrant bar area. “We have a special jungle juice just for tonight’s event. We call it Sugar Rush Ride!” He leans close to you guys, “We basically dumped a bunch of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers in it mixed with other alcohols!” “Oh that seems pretty cool! Let me get some!” You say.  Taehyun smiles, pouring you some in a blue plastic cup and hands it to you. “You guys want to try some too?”
“I’m the DD for the drive back home, but these two can get some.” Hoseok reassures the younger men it's okay to get wasted. He’s always been a reliable upperclassman and brother to them.
You take the chance to sip the cup. Mm. It’s a little too sweet for your taste, but the strong burning sensation (of what you assume is rum and vodka), helps it lessen. Good. This is what you need right now so badly.
Fuck it.
For a moment, you're content to let go of your troubles and embrace the carefree spirit of the night.
+++++++++++
“Where’s Y/N? She’s not in her room.”
This question catches Jin off guard as he sips his wine, slightly choking on it before setting it down on the coffee table. He’s hanging out with Namjoon, John, San and Soyoon watching a Ghibli movie in the living room. Not that he was paying much attention, he was on his phone playing the new Maple Story update. Yoongi went to play basketball at the intramural gymnasium on campus, while Jimin went drinking with an upperclassmen, Taemin.
Of course Jin knew where you were this whole time since the fight, and even tonight when Hoseok said they were inviting you to the Eta Psi Beta party at the neighboring university. But is he about to tell Namjoon?
He’s not sure. Jin pauses the game on his phone, glancing at Namjoon. "Yeah, she mentioned she's spending the night at Hwasa's place. They've been hanging out a lot lately," he says, attempting a nonchalant tone to avoid revealing any hint of the tension between you and the others. His eyes flicker between the screen and Namjoon, unsure whether he should disclose more information.
Namjoon raises an eyebrow, a slight frown forming on his face. "Is she okay?"
Jin hesitates for a moment, debating how much to share. "I guess? She just said she needed a change of scenery, you know?"
"What do you mean?" Namjoon presses, sensing there might be more to the story.
Jin takes a deep breath, his gaze shifting away momentarily. "Look, there's been some tension lately. I think she just needed some space to clear her head."
Namjoon's expression tightens, concern deepening. "Tension? What happened?" John, San and Soyoon’s attention from the movie has been diverted to the conversation happening between Jin and Namjoon. Jin sighs, knowing he can’t divulge more information in front of them. So he gets up, grabbing Namjoon’s wrist, and dragging him into the hallway leading to their rooms. “God, I hate having to hide shit from you of all people.” Jin whispers aggressively, putting his hands on the taller man’s shoulders. “Fine, basically, Y/N ran away two weeks ago and is staying at Hwasa’s dorm.” “...What the fuck, Seokjin?!” Namjoon reins in his emotions, realizing that getting upset won't help him understand the situation better. Now, more than ever, he needs to find out what's going on with you. “Why didn’t anyone tell me—”
He interrupts the younger man, sighing in frustration. “It’s not my place to tell you what happened exactly and neither was it anyone else’s. I think you might have an idea, though, even if you weren’t there. If you want to know, go find her.”
Namjoon is left speechless, brows furrowing as he absorbs the information, a surge of worry overtaking him. 
Jin nods, understanding Namjoon's urgency. “And we didn’t want to get you upset and probably wreck anything…or anyone.”
“Where is she, Jin?”
Jin, once again hesitates for a moment. “She’s at a party with Hoseok, Tae, and Jungkook. It’s at the…Eta Psi Beta house at that neighboring university, not too far from here.”
“Oh Sh–” Namjoon looks like a deer caught in headlights, evident concern plastered on his face. “Did you not fucking know that’s the frat that he is in?”
“He?” Jin pauses for a moment confused about who Namjoon was referring to before it all clicks in his head, panicking. “Holy fuck! How was I supposed to remember that? Jungkook said he had a friend there. And I mean, it’s a big frat…what are the odds that she’ll run into him?”
Namjoon takes a deep breath, frustration and worry battling within him. He has been keeping tabs here and there on this guy for over a year, just out of concern for you. He wasn’t sure if you’d ever plan to seek him, or vice versa. No, this isn’t good. 
He doesn't want to waste any time. 
“I’m going out!” Without another word, he heads towards the front door.
John gets up from the couch seeing the commotion. “Woah, Joon, what’s going on?” His brows furrow, searching Namjoon's face for answers.
Namjoon's jaw clenches as he sighs, concern etched across his face. “I need to go find Y/N. She’s at Eta Psi’s party at UOX 20 minutes away, and she might be in some trouble soon.” As he speaks, his eyes dart around, calculating the steps he needs to take.
John senses the urgency in Namjoon's movements and offers his assistance. “I’ll take you! I didn’t drink at all earlier so I’m good to drive.”
Soyoon, catching wind of the unfolding situation, joins in, her eyes wide with concern. “We'll come along too and help you find her!”
Meanwhile, Jin, trying to compose himself, acknowledges the chaos. “I wanna go, but I’ll stay here. Yoongi will be back later, so it’ll be suspicious if we’re all gone,” he says, his demeanor calm but resolute, a stabilizing force amid the growing turmoil. Namjoon’s gaze flickers briefly to Jin, silently thanking him for staying behind. He then nods appreciatively at John's offer, grateful for the immediate support. "Thanks, John. Let's go."
 He gestures for San and Soyoon to follow as well, her worried expression mirrors his own. As they make their way to the door, John grabs his jacket, his movements quick and purposeful.
The front door closes, leaving Jin alone with his own contemplations. The room, once filled with casual conversation and the glow of the TV now feels empty and eerily quiet.
He glances at his phone, pondering whether he should reach out to Yoongi. He knows Yoongi hates that man’s guts just as much as Namjoon, but he knows that you will be even more troubled if you see him as well. As he debates internally, Jin takes a deep breath, preparing himself for whatever repercussions may follow, hoping that Namjoon can find you and the other boys swiftly and ensure you don’t end up seeing him.
+++++++++++
After several drinks, you’ve gotten lost in the humongous crowd of people filling the backyard of this frat house. The last time you remember seeing Taehyung’s social butterfly ass was when he was striking up conversations with a couple of girls. His infectious laughter and charming boxy smile drew them towards him, and soon he was engaged in a friendly game of beer pong with a group jealous guys and trying to show off his skills and impressive aim to the girls. They loved it.
You believe Jungkook was dragged away by an excited Taehyun wanting to show him something inside the house, though you’re not sure if he’s back…and somewhere in this crowd.  
So that leaves you with Hoseok for a while, and when 4 Walls by F(X) starts playing, he nudges you into the middle of the crowd.
You dance with him for a bit, enjoying yourself as you attempt to follow along the movements he does. This ends with you awkwardly laughing at your own failure. You could never pop and lock, or whatever he did.  You’re just not that flexible at all or well-versed with dance moves that aren’t “The Robot”. But Hoseok is gentle when teaching you. Compared to how strict he is with his students during his dance class sessions, according to Jungkook.
Dancing with him was short-lived, as he tells you to stay put because he wants to enter the dance circle emerging from the middle of the crowd in front of the DJ. He might be the DD for the night, but he isn’t going to miss out on the fun while being sober.
You don’t want to be squished with drunk, sweaty bodies around you, so you end up next to the DJ booth, where the same girl is still spinning tracks and taking charge of the party’s setlist. Her effortless grace and commanding presence behind the turntables catch your attention, and you can't help but be intrigued by her.
"So, how did you get into DJing?" you ask, raising your voice slightly to be heard over the music. Usually, you’re not as courageous to start conversations with random people, but today, the alcohol in your system said otherwise.
The girl flashes you a warm smile, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. "Well, I've always had a passion for music," she replies, adjusting a knob on the mixer with practiced ease. "Back in Japan, I used to DJ at small local events. When I came here for my exchange program, I jumped at the chance to share my love for music with a new audience."
You nod, impressed by her dedication and talent. "Oh wow! That's amazing. You're really good at it," you comment, nodding towards the crowd as they groove to the beat.
Her smile widens at the compliment, a hint of pride in her eyes. "Thanks! I love seeing people enjoy themselves on the dance floor, connected by the music."
As you continue chatting, you come to find out her name is Sakura, and is in the same year as you. Before you get the chance to tell her your name, your attention is suddenly drawn to the makeshift dance floor where Hoseok is engaged in a spirited dance battle with another party-goer. The two of them move with grace and precision, their movements synchronized to the pulsating rhythm of the music.
You watch in awe as Hoseok dazzles the crowd with his fluid dance moves, his energy infectious as he captivates everyone around him. The other dancer, who you couldn’t see well from your angle, seems to hold their own with impressive skill drawing impressed sounds from the people watching. The guy keeps matching Hoseok move for move while Summer Walker’s Dat Right There plays in the background. After they finish, two other guys are up and dancing to the next song on Sakura’s setlist.
Sakura follows your gaze as you watch Hoseok get mixed into the crowd once again, a smile playing on her lips. "Looks like your friend knows how to move," she remarks, her eyes twinkling with amusement. 
You nod in agreement, feeling a swell of pride over your friend getting complimented. “Yup! He’s won several dance competitions in the past.” You sip your blue cup. What even is the alcohol inside this cup? You think maybe you should stop drinking before you start to get the urge to puke. Though, when else can you go all out like this without their supervision?
“Competition!? Woah, that’s on a whole other level than Jun! He’s in the school’s dance team too.”
You want to continue your conversation with Sakura, but suddenly, you feel your vision spin. Shit, maybe you are at your limit. You used to be able to drink more, why are you so weak tonight? You try to hold onto the table for stability, which then catches Sakura’s attention.
 “Wait, hey…you okay?”
You quickly look up at her, and wave her off. “Uh, yeah! 100%. Just need some water.”
“There’s cases of bottled water in the kitchen, just head in through the back door. Think you can make it there? I would help, but I’m—”
You manage a weak smile, grateful for Sakura's concern. "Don’t worry! I'll do that. Thanks, Sakura," you reply, your voice sounding more slurred as you attempt to maintain your composure. With a determined nod, you push yourself away from the table, focusing on steadying your steps as you make your way toward the back door.
As you navigate through the throngs of bodies, you can feel the effects of the alcohol weighing heavily on your senses. The music seems louder now, the lights brighter, and the voices around you a chaotic blur. You press a hand to your temple, willing away the dizzy spell that threatens to overwhelm you.
The sudden shift in atmosphere hits you like a wave as you step inside the house. The air is thick with smoke, a potent mixture of cigarette and weed fumes that assault your senses. You cough slightly, your eyes watering as you try to adjust to the stifling environment. 
The dim lighting casts long shadows across the room, adding to the hazy ambiance. People are scattered throughout the space, lounging on couches, leaning against walls, and mingling in small groups. The music from outside pounds in your ears, reverberating through the walls and floor, making it difficult to think clearly. 
Making your way to the kitchen, you find the bottled water, grab one and twist off the cap, taking a long gulp of the refreshing liquid. The relief is short lived though, as you glance around, searching for a familiar face in the sea of strangers. Jungkook, Hoseok, and Taehyung are nowhere to be seen for some time. 
You feel a pang of unease at being separated from your friends at a random frat party, God knows where. You’re also passed the point of being tipsy. 
What school are you even at? Why didn’t you bother asking about it in the car earlier?
Maybe you should try finding Jungkook. Yeah, he should be inside somewhere. You didn’t see him come out earlier.
You walk to the living room to try to search for him amongst the lax bodies taking hits from bongs, but suddenly you hear your name called out.
“Y/N!”
Jungkook?
Wait, did that sound like Jungkook calling out to you? Maybe? Maybe not?
You’re drunk, but the voice sounds familiar, though. Who is that?
You turn around.
And when you do, you immediately regret it.
The familiar voice that you deemed to be Jungkook was not him, but it wasn’t completely unfamiliar to you at all. You used to hear this voice so often. A voice that would whisper sweet nothings to you in the late summer nights and would annoy the hell out of you with his comments.
It can’t be him, you think. You’re drunk! You’re just drunk, Y/N! Why would it be him, here, right now? As much as you tried to refute the appearance of that man before you, the image became clearer.
Choi Yeonjun.
Once you realize this, everything around you seizes movement. Soon, it feels like you stepped into a dream with how hazy everything has become. The atmosphere consumed with smoke from people smoking weed here is definitely not helping. 
You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol running through your veins or your anxiety making the world spin once more, but there’s a curdling feeling in your stomach now.
Before you can even think, your legs start to move you back, very slowly. Away from the man who left you devastated and heartbroken not too long ago.
“Y-Yeon–”
“Y/N…” 
Fuck. It’s been almost two years and you still can’t fucking say his name. What’s wrong with you? You’re over him. Why are you somehow standing here in fear just from being in his presence?
“I didn’t expect to see you here.”
“Me either.” That’s all you can mutter out? Wait. Is the “Jun” that Hoseok was dancing against earlier. Holy shit, this is all making sense. Of course you knew he went to a university close to you, but there’s thousands of students going there too. You would’ve never thought you’d just see fucking Yeonjun out of all people at a random ass frat party.
You wonder if he could sense the fear crawling through your skin, controlling your muscle movements. Your vision quivers twice as much as it should. Don’t make eye contact dammit.
Too late.
Despite your overwhelming urge to flee, you force yourself to stand your ground as Yeonjun approaches closer, his presence looming over you like a dark shadow. Every instinct screams at you to run, to go find the guys, to escape the memories that threaten to engulf you, but you swallow down your fear and brace yourself for what comes next.
"How have you been?" He asks, his voice soft yet filled with a tinge of uncertainty. 
You can feel the weight of his gaze on you, his eyes searching your face for any sign of softness. And perhaps weakness. Your heart pounds in your chest, your palms clammy with nerves as you struggle to find the right words to respond. You’re gonna puke at this rate and it’s going to be embarrassing.
"Good... uh, how are you?" you manage to say, your voice barely above a whisper. You can't bring yourself to meet his eyes, the fear of what you might see reflected in them too overwhelming to bear. Instead, you focus on a spot just over his shoulder, willing yourself to remain composed despite the turmoil raging inside you.
Yeonjun's response is brief, almost curt. "Good," he says, his voice devoid of any emotion.
There's a tense silence between you two. You can feel the weight of the past pressing down on you, threatening to suffocate you with its suffocating embrace. But still, you refuse to break, determined to weather the storm no matter what.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, Yeonjun speaks again, his voice hesitant yet persistent on something. "Okay, look, I know it’s been awhile, but I noticed you talking to Sakura earlier and I thought it was fate that I saw you after so long. Can we talk?"
“Huh? What?” 
Now what’s this about? You’ve been through too much and having a conversation about whatever the fuck is on his mind is something you do not want to do tonight. Or ever. You guys have been done. You have no more tears left to cry. You know your heart lies elsewhere.
“I know things ended badly when I left you, but—”
You’re not sure if he’s apologizing after reflecting on the past some time ago or if he’s trying to get back together with you, but you cannot stomach this. You want to leave. He’s probably drunk anyways. If he sincerely feels either of the two ways, he would’ve come to find you earlier to tell while he’s sober.
“Yeonjun,” You sigh heavily as you interrupt him, giving him a stern expression to show that you’re serious, “I’m not feeling too great right now. I need to go find the guys.”
“The guys?” Yeonjun scoffs. “You’re still hanging around with them?”
“Who?”
“Namjoon, Yoongi and Jimin.”
What? You’re not even going to tell him that’s not who you’re here with, but now you have questions. There’s something he’s clearly insinuating here that he never told you when you two were dating. You wonder if it’s related to the reason why he ended things when you thought they were going so well. 
You want to keep edging him on until he spills.
“What’s wrong with that?” You raise your eyebrow, getting progressively more pissed off.
Yeonjun’s gaze hardens, his features contorting with a mixture of frustration and disbelief. “What’s wrong with that?” he echoes, his voice tinged with bitterness. “Can’t believe you’re still so dense after all this time.”
No, never mind. You’re not going to stand here and be degraded until you get a piece of a puzzle that doesn’t matter anymore.
“If you’re going to fucking insult me, then I’m leaving.”
“No, you’re not leaving yet!” Yeonjun suddenly grabs your wrist, preventing you from leaving. His fingers dig into your skin with a painful intensity. You cringe for a moment. Panic courses through your veins as you struggle against his hold, desperate to break free from his grasp.
Before you could fight against his hold further, you turn to see a man, similar in height to Yeonjun, shoving him roughly against the nearest wall, his expression dark and menacing. This action makes Yeonjun let go as his hands are now elsewhere.
Your heart pounds in your chest as you watch the altercation unfold, fear and uncertainty swirling inside you like a raging storm. Who is this man?
Holy shit. 
Looking at him closely, the realization hits you like a ton of bricks—it's Namjoon.
Why is he here? How did he know you guys were here anyway?
"What the fuck is your problem grabbing her like that?" Namjoon's voice cuts through the chaos, his tone filled with anger and concern.
“Wait, Namjoon! Just stop. Let it go!”
Hoseok's voice breaks through the chaos, drawing your attention. He strides towards you, his eyes blazing with fury and worry. Taehyung and Jungkook follow closely behind, their expressions a mix of concern and determination. A crowd starts to form around them, even bringing in more people from outside after hearing the commotion.
Namjoon moves quickly, grabbing Yeonjun by the collar. “I don’t like violence, but you’ve really been pissing me off since that summer.” he growls, his voice dripping with menace.
Yeonjun staggers backward, out of Namjoon’s hold. Though his eyes remain wide with shock. He seems uncertain of what to do next, caught off guard by Namjoon's appearance and sudden aggression. His expression shifts from surprise to defiance, his jaw clenched with determination.
"Pissed off at me?" Yeonjun's voice is laced with poison, his eyes narrowing as he locks gazes with Namjoon. "I'm the one pissed off at you knowing she liked you this whole time and you never noticed a goddamn thing."
You remain frozen while hearing the words coming out of Yeonjun’s mouth. You liking Namjoon this whole time? Gears turn in your head. Did you never realize those feelings slip out of you? During the times you’d lovingly call Yeonjun, ‘Junnie’...did it feel so right because it was the same nickname Namjoon had? Yeonjun suddenly interjects with a sharp tone, "So you should stop acting up." 
The room falls into a momentary silence, punctuated only by the muffled thud as Yeonjun swiftly grabs a book from a nearby table and hits Namjoon's head with it. There's an audible gasp from the onlookers, some leaning forward in their spots to get a better view, while others recoil in shock at the unexpected turn of events.
Namjoon, caught off guard by the sudden blow, winces as the book makes contact with his head. He instinctively brings a hand up to rub the spot where he was struck, his expression a mixture of surprise and discomfort.
You, too, are taken aback by Yeonjun's action, your eyes widening as you and hoping they’ll just stop. 
Namjoon regains his posture and immediately goes back to gripping Yeonjun's collar, this time more tightly. "You have no idea what you're talking about," he retorts, his voice low and dangerous.
Yeonjun laughs, a bitter edge to the sound. "How thick is your skull? You can’t see how she’s looking at you, even now?” he sneers. "She's always been thinking of you all this time! Even when I was fucking her—"
Before Yeonjun can finish his sentence, Namjoon's fist connects with his jaw, the force of the blow sending him staggering backward once more. Yeonjun stumbles again, his balance thrown off by the unexpected attack and he falls to the floor.
The room erupts into chaos as people nearby shout and gasp in surprise. Namjoon steps forward, his expression dark and unreadable as he advances on Yeonjun, who raises his hands defensively.
"Namjoon, stop!" Your voice cuts through the tumult, your tone urgent as you rush forward to intervene. 
“Y/N, get away from them!” Jungkook runs towards you, trying to pull you away. Hoseok and Taehyung's faces are etched with concern as they rush to restrain Namjoon. Two other guys you recognize as Yeonjun’s close friends Soobin and Taehyun try to restrain Yeonjun as well. 
You run towards Namjoon and with a strong pull, manage to move him away and make him snap out of his sudden rage. When he looks down at your eyes, he notices you're slowly sobbing, frustrated.
He turns to look at Yeonjun, sitting on the ground as Soobin and Taehyun tend to his bloody nose as a result of the punch. 
As Namjoon's eyes meet yours, he registers the anguish reflected in your tear-filled gaze. The sight of your distress is like a bucket of cold water, jolting him out of his blind rage. Guilt washes over him as he realizes the impact his actions have had on you.
"Y/N," he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"
But before he can finish his apology, you turn away, your shoulders shaking with silent sobs. Your heart feels heavy with a mixture of emotions—anger, frustration, and overwhelming sadness. You feel stupid in a way. What are you upset about? Is it because he fought and hurt Yeonjun? Is it because of the pact he had with Yoongi and Jimin? Is it because Yeonjun touched upon growing feelings you tried to repress?
Probably, it’s all of the above.
Namjoon reaches out to touch your arm, his expression pleading. "We need to talk."
Should you talk to Namjoon? You’re starting to sober up a bit after all that, so maybe you should come clean to him about everything that has happened not only in the last few weeks, but the last few months.
And perhaps, it’s time to put an end to your feelings or let yourself be consumed by them.
“Okay, fine, let’s go outside," you whisper, your voice barely audible over the din of the crowd. You wipe your tears, calming your breathing to stop the sobs. Namjoon nods in agreement, his expression somber as he follows you through the crowd. 
+++++++++++ 
“Why are you here?” You look down impatiently at Namjoon, who is now sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Eta Psi house. 
John, Soyoon, and San stand outside, their expressions etched with concern as they searched for you earlier. Namjoon waves them away, urging them to retreat inside and grant you both some privacy. They comply reluctantly, casting worried glances over their shoulders as they leave. They didn’t witness the fight or Namjoon getting hit, but it is evident from the tear stains on your face and Namjoon's deflated demeanor that something bad happened. They will likely learn the details later from Jungkook, who will be sure to fill them in once they are indoors.
“What? Why are you here? At this party a few towns over, all alone?”
“I wasn't alone! I came here with Tae, Jungkook and Hoseok. But what the hell is wrong with you?” “What do you mean what the fuck is wrong with me? Yeonjun suddenly grabbed you. I was trying to protect you.”
“You didn’t need to protect me because I could’ve handled that! Way better than you, who started a fight!” you retort, your voice rising with anger.
Stunned, Namjoon huffs in disbelief, jaw working overtime. “You were standing there for a solid five minutes, hands shaking, and stuck in place!”
He saw that too? Shit. He’s right. You couldn’t even move, and once again it was just like the summer right before freshman year of college. Right when he broke up with you and the last time you ever faced him. You hate having to recall that day when it felt like all the love you poured into this human you cared for so dearly became dried up and nonexistent.
Not wanting to admit your faults and being in a partially drunk stupor, you let your cold nature take over.
“Who even asked you to do that?” you snap, your tone cold and defensive.
Namjoon only stares at you, unblinking and feeling the distance you suddenly put in between him. “Who asked me? Who–” he begins, but his words trail off.
This silence cuts through the night air. For once in your life, Namjoon cannot find the right words to articulate his thoughts. He suddenly looks flustered, debating what he should even say.
And in that second, your harsher features start to soften in realization. You regret your bitter question aimed at him and reflecting on your past trauma. Why did you have to say that? What the fuck is wrong with you?  You used to be more calm and collective for fucks sake. Who even are you anymore? 
Namjoon can be petty by nature too, though he’s never been like that toward you. 
“Says the same person who’s been in a fuck buddies deal with Yoongi and Jimin.”
Silence once again. Except now, it is accompanied by a light shower. It’s raining.
Your mind, however, is very loud right now. Screaming internally with millions of questions. More importantly: How the fuck did he find out? Did the other guys spill to him? Or did he know all along? Since when? 
“Joon, that’s just…it’s not…” Cat has your tongue now.
He chuckles bitterly, “Am I even mad? Nah, ‘mad’ doesn’t even cut it.” he mutters, his voice tinged with sadness. He looks down at his hands, now covered in droplets of rainwater, and sighs heavily. “I’ve been good at hiding it, but it’s been so fucking upsetting how stupid you three are for doing that. But how the fuck could I have confronted y’all?”
“Well if it weren’t for you making out with Jihyo at the party right in front my eyes, then this wouldn’t have happened. I just got so upset and ran off. Yoongi was only trying to comfort me, but I was the one who initiated everything. So if you’re going to hate someone, hate me.”
You may have lost Yoongi and Jimin, but the idea of Namjoon hating you and losing him hurts so much. But if you have to end things, might as well do it now.
So fucking much.
“No.” He mumbles.
“What?” “No.” Namjoon’s voice is much clearer, and definitive. He stares into your eyes, but before you can fully process his response, your own words spill out in a rush of guilt and self-loathing. 
“Uh I’ve been sleeping with our other two best friends, and even that won’t get you to hate me?” Tears blur your vision and you struggle to formulate a coherent discussion of every selfish thing you’ve done. “I feel like the shittiest person alive right now! Yoongi and I basically did that out of frustration against you and Jimin becoming distant and changing. Then Jimin ended things with Irene because he liked me all this time and then he got caught up with me and Yoongi and now we got into a fight and–”
“I’m never going to hate you, Y/N.” Namjoon interrupts, his voice steady and filled with unwavering conviction. “Because even if you did that shit, it’s clear as day to me why you did all of that. It’s because you’ve been in love with me all this time too.” His words hang in the air, a profound acknowledgment of the truth that lingers between you. 
There it is.
The thoughts you never wanted to address, not even to Yoongi on the night of the Gamma party.
Namjoon finally realized too. You hate to thank Yeonjun for making the dots connect in his mind.
“Well, congrats on opening Pandora’s box, because you’re right.” you murmur, your voice barely above a whisper.
Is he going to say something sassy, like ‘I’m always right!’? You wouldn’t even mind him shoving it in your face, because you deserve it after all. You got yourself into this mess.
Namjoon rises from the sidewalk and you find yourself enveloped in his warm embrace under the rain, his arms a comforting anchor amidst the turmoil of your emotions. In that moment, you realize that perhaps there’s still hope for the two of you, despite the mistakes and misunderstandings that have plagued your relationship. As you stand in Namjoon’s embrace, surrounded by the gentle patter of raindrops and the soft glow of streetlights, you find the courage to bare your soul to him.
“Namjoon,” you begin, your voice trembling with emotion, “Ever since we first became friends, I’ve felt something for you. It’s hard to put into words, but it’s always been there, just lingering beneath the surface.”
You pause, your thoughts drifting to the countless moments you’ve shared with him—the laughter, the tears, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn about the most existential topics. From elementary until now. Each memory is etched into your heart, forming a tapestry of emotions that binds you to him in ways you never imagined possible.
“But it’s not just you,” you continue, your words spilling out in a rush of honesty. “Yoongi and Jimin, they’ve also carved out a place in my heart, each in their own way. It’s complex, messy, and kinda overwhelming.”
Your voice wavers as you confess the tangled web of emotions that have plagued you for so long. “But you, Namjoon…you’re the first love I never wanted to admit. I really wanted to take this to the grave if I could.”
Namjoon’s arms tighten around you, offering silent reassurance as you lay bare your deepest fears and desires. You already know how he feels, but him having the chance to hear you out probably eased every one of his own doubts and concerns.
As the rain continues to fall around you, casting a soft, ethereal glow over the scene, you feel a sense of serenity wash over you. The world around you fades into the background, leaving only you and Namjoon standing amidst the gentle rhythm of the rain.
With a newfound clarity, you tilt your head up to meet Namjoon's gaze, the air thick with anticipation. His eyes, dark pools of warmth and understanding, reflect the same emotions swirling within your own heart.
In this moment, there's no need for words. The unspoken longing between you hangs heavy in the air, a silent symphony of desire and yearning that binds you together.
Slowly, almost hesitantly, you reach up, your fingers tangling in the damp strands of Namjoon's hair. His breath catches in his throat as you draw him closer, your lips hovering just inches apart.
And then, with a surge of courage born from the depths of your heart, you close the distance between you, pressing your lips against his in a tender, tentative kiss.
The world seems to stand still as your lips meet, a symphony of emotions surrounding you, with a euphoric dizzying.You’re not sure if it’s the alcohol in your system doing that anymore. This is purely you in this moment suspended in time while the soft caress of your lips are against his.
For a heartbeat, you linger in the sweetness of the kiss, savoring the taste of rain and desire on his lips. And then, as if Namjoon becomes more confident in the moment, he deepens the kiss, your bodies moving in perfect harmony as you lose yourself in the intoxicating embrace of each other.
And this is where you realize, in the gentle patter of rain and the soft glow of streetlights, that this is where you belong—in Namjoon's arms, with his lips pressed against yours, in a world where love knows no bounds.
You pull away from the kiss, a soft giggle escapes your lips. The sound mingles with the gentle patter of raindrops around you. "I've wanted to do that for so long," you admit, a playful glint in your eyes. "Even when you were being annoying and scolding me at times, I thought it would've been better to shut you up with a kiss."
Namjoon's cheeks flush with a delicate shade of pink, his gaze shifting away shyly. "I...I wouldn't have minded," he confesses, his voice barely above a whisper. You love seeing this flustered side of him, and hope you can see more of it.
Before you can respond, the sound of wet footsteps interrupts the moment, and you turn to see John emerging from the house, followed closely by Soyoon, Jungkook, Hoseok, Taehyung, and San, who peer curiously from behind him.
"Are you lovebirds done over there?" John teases, a mischievous grin spreading across his face as he gestures to you and Namjoon.
You feel your cheeks heat up at his words, feeling embarrassed that you were likely caught kissing Namjoon. Though, besides John’s question, no one else comments on the situation. "Um yeah, I think I wanna go back home," you say, your gaze shifting to Namjoon, who nods in agreement. "I wasn’t feeling good earlier, had too much to drink." "That’s why I told you to be careful!" Jungkook chimes in, scolding you jokingly as he tries to earn some brownie points from Namjoon for looking out for you. “You didn’t say anything!” You expose him, eliciting laughter from everyone present. Even amidst the lighthearted banter, your mind drifts back to Yeonjun, more or less because you’re worried about him taking legal action against Namjoon. “Wait, is Yeonjun…”
“Yeonjun’s going to be fine," Jungkook reassures, making you sigh in relief.  "Hueningkai and Beomgyu helped take him up to his room. He was pretty drunk, so we don’t think he’ll remember anything that happened tonight.”
Relief washes over you at Jungkook's reassurance about Yeonjun's well-being, the worry in your chest easing slightly. 
“Alright, I’ll take you and the others back,” John announces, motioning for you to follow him to his car parked across the street from the frat house.
As you approach the vehicle, you turn to Hoseok, Taehyung, and Jungkook across the street. “Are you guys heading back too?”
Hoseok shakes his head with a smile. “Nah, we’ll stick around for a bit longer, make sure everything's all good here.”
“The night is still young for us, but go get some rest, Honey,” Taehyung says, gesturing for you to get in the car.
You give them a grateful smile, appreciating their willingness to stay behind and look out for any potential trouble.
With a final wave, you climb into John's car along with Namjoon, Soyoon, San, and John himself, ready to return back to campus. The engine revs to life, and soon you’re turning the street corner, leaving the chaos of the frat party behind you. As the streetlights flicker past, you lean back in your seat, feeling a sense of relief and contentment wash over you. 
+++++++++++
“I’ll help take Y/N inside and then walk back home,” Namjoon tells John as he shuts the door of his car. “Alright, just text me when you make it back. Have a good night, guys.” John waves, exiting the parking lot in front of Hwasa’s dorm and disappearing in the distance. He dropped off Soyoon and San at their dorms across campus, so he is just headed back to his off-campus apartment. Before you swipe Hwasa’s student ID to enter her dorm, you suddenly feel your stomach churn with nausea. Maybe it was the ride back that made you queasy, or the fact that the only contents in your stomach were alcohol. Without warning, the urge to vomit hits you like a tidal wave, and you bolt towards a nearby bush, clutching your stomach in distress. Namjoon's eyebrows furrow in concern as he watches you rush away. He quickly follows, his footsteps echoing against the pavement as he reaches your side. Without hesitation, he holds your hair up to prevent the puke from sticking to it accidently.
You continue to retch, emptying the contents of your stomach into the bush, Namjoon stays by your side, offering silent support and comfort. His reassuring presence helps to calm your racing heartbeat, grounding you amid your discomfort.
“I-I…really hate throwing up so much,” you admit between gasps, your voice trembling with embarrassment.
“I know,” Namjoon replies softly, his tone understanding. “You should’ve been more cautious.”
You nod weakly, acknowledging his words even as you struggle to regain your composure.
“I know that,” you murmur, pushing yourself upright and wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. “But I was upset...sad…needed something to take my mind off of the stuff with Yoongi and Jimin.” You swipe access and enter the building together.
“Yeah, how did all of that happen?”
“Well, it’s a long story…”
And you proceed to tell him everything that happened, from the night you first had sex with Yoongi all up until the fight that Jimin initiated at Friday Night Game Night two weeks ago. While you told him the story, you got changed, brushed your teeth, and drank some water to rehydrate you after the vomiting. He sat on your bed, watching you do each task and listening to you carefully. 
Once you’ve completed your routine, you join Namjoon on the bed, sinking into the soft mattress beside him.
“I think the answer is obvious, but we made that pact because we’ve been in love with you for a long time,” Namjoon begins, his voice soft as he gazes up at the twinkling string lights that adorn the room. “Sometime during junior year, we were at Yoongi’s house and just started talking about our feelings and didn’t know what to do.” He lays back against your pillows, sighing. “We didn’t want to ruin our friendship with you and we also didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Namjoon continues, his tone tinged with regret. “We didn’t think you’d like us back because you were occupied with other guys on your mind back then. So, at that time, we decided to agree that neither of us would pursue you and move on.”
“Except that Yoongi decided to say fuck it,” you interject with a wry smile, remembering the impulsive decision that changed everything.
Namjoon chuckles softly, shaking his head in amusement. “Yeah, we had tried to move on, though Yoongi probably couldn’t let you go, so he went for it. Can’t believe he did that, but I would’ve done the same if I were in his shoes.”
He turns to you, his expression earnest as he asks, "So, what are you going to do, Tiny? How are you planning to reconcile your friendship with them?"
You pause, feeling stress settle heavily on your shoulders once again. It’s a dilemma you’ve grappled with countless times, each solution more elusive than the last. "I still don't know," you admit, your voice tinged with uncertainty. "In an ideal world, I'd love to be with you and them, but is that even possible?"
Namjoon's eyes soften with understanding as he listens to your concerns. "That’s a thing, you know," he suggests tentatively. “It’s called being in a polycule together."
You gasp, the concept both surprising and intriguing. "A polycule?" you repeat, your mind racing with possibilities. "Do you think...could that really work?"
Namjoon nods thoughtfully, his gaze meeting yours with unwavering sincerity. "Maybe," he replies, his voice tinged with cautious optimism. "It's definitely something worth considering, but we'd all have to think about it more and talk it through together."
A polycule. You can’t deny how much you’d be down for the idea. The thought of being in a loving, supportive relationship with Namjoon, Jimin, and Yoongi is undeniably appealing. However, there are other things to consider, like the future of the relationship and how you could ever present this to your own families. No doubt your parents would get a heart attack. But maybe, you’d figure out how to make this work. You don’t have to publicly get married, maybe you could just frame it as being single forever with your other single best friends. It’d be like that article about the seven Chinese girlfriends buying a mansion to retire and die together. 
You move to straddle Namjoon’s lap excitedly, “I want to try that,” 
Namjoon's expression shifts from contemplative to surprised as you straddle his lap, the sudden change in proximity catching him off guard. He blinks, momentarily taken aback by your boldness, before a soft smile spreads across his lips.
You look at his beautiful deep brown dragon eyes, always so mesmerizing.Your heart flutters at the sight, reassured by the warmth in his gaze. You're acutely aware of the intimate closeness between you, the heat of his body seeping through the thin fabric of your clothes, igniting a flicker of desire deep within you.
For a moment, Namjoon doesn’t respond. He’s caught off guard, thinking about how cute you look being on top of him like this. When he doesn’t respond right away, you give him a puzzled look.
"You're only wearing underwear under your oversized Pokémon t-shirt?" He teases, his eyes twinkling with amusement.
“Huh?” Your cheeks redden, “Y-You could tell?”
“Yeah.” 
Your heart skips a beat as Namjoon's hand brushes against your cheek, sending a shiver down your spine. His touch is gentle yet electrifying.
Before you can fully comprehend what's happening, Namjoon pulls you down, your lips meet his in a kiss full of need and desire.
As your lips meld together in a tender embrace, the kiss deepens, becoming more passionate and intense. You feel the gentle pressure of Namjoon's lips parting, inviting you into his mouth. With a soft whimper of desire, you accept the invitation, allowing your tongue to dance against his.
He starts undressing you, from your t-shirt to your panties, eager to finally have you after all this time. Once you’re naked, you pull yourself back up and let him bask in the view of you. He’s awestruck by the sight of your perky breasts.
He takes a moment to admire your curves, his eyes lingering on the way your rounded hips fit perfectly into your waist. He traces the line of your belly button with his fingertips, marveling at the way your skin feels under his touch.
You watch him, enjoying the way he looks at you, and suddenly you're desperate for more. You reach down and cupping his face, pulling his lips to yours in a deep, passionate kiss.
Your fingers trail down his arms, tracing the muscles beneath his shirt, as his hands slide up your sides, grazing your ribs before moving up to cup your breasts. His touch feels divine, his fingers gently tugging at your nipples, sending shivers down your spine.
His lips travel down your neck, leaving a trail of warm, wet kisses as he goes. You can't help but moan softly, your head falling back in pleasure. He runs his tongue over the swell of your collarbone, and then moves downward, his lips leaving a hot, wet trail as he goes. He sucks gently on your nipples, his tongue flicking against the sensitive skin.
You arch your back, enjoying the sensation of his mouth on your body. You feel his hands slide down your belly, the warmth of his fingers tracing circles on your skin. He kisses his way down your stomach, his lips leaving warm, wet kisses in a trail that leads to your hips.
You can feel the anticipation building up inside you. Your breath catches in your throat as he reaches the top of your thighs, his fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. You're not sure what he's going to do next, and that's part of the thrill.
He looks up at you, his eyes filled with desire. He moves to remove his sweatpants, his shirt, and finally his boxer briefs.
You watch him, your eyes widening as he stands before you, completely naked. It's the first time you've seen him without clothes, and it's a sight that takes your breath away. He's been your best friend for so long, and now here he is, vulnerable and exposed in front of you.
His erection sticks up prominently, a testament to his arousal. He's bigger than you expected, and the sight of it makes your heart race and your breath catch in your throat.
Before you can think about it, you reach out and touch him, tentatively wrapping your fingers around his shaft. It feels warm and hard in your hand, and you can't help but marvel at how it's throbbing beneath your touch.
He moans softly, and you can tell that he's enjoying your touch. You run your thumb over the head of his penis, feeling the slit that moistens with pre-cum. It's an intimate moment, and you can’t believe this is the first time you’re able to touch him this way.
You stroke him gently, feeling his muscles tense and relax as you do. His hips move subtly, as though he's enjoying your touch. You're grateful for his trust in you, and for the connection that's brought you to this moment.
As you continue to stroke him, you feel his hand on your thigh, gently running his fingers up and down your leg. It's a small gesture, but it means the world to you. It's a sign that he's not only comfortable with where this is going, but that he's also enjoying himself.
He leans in close, his lips brushing against his ear. "I'm so glad we're doing this," he whispers. "I've wanted this for so long,
“And I'm so glad you're here with me."
You can't help but feel a surge of emotion welling up inside you. This wasn't just about having sex with Namjoon, but the long, slow burning affection you and Namjoon have likely had for one another. You nod, your cheeks flushed with a mix of arousal and affection.
He smiles warmly at you, his eyes filled with love and desire. "I know you're nervous, but don't worry," he reassures you. "We'll take it slow."
You nod, swallowing hard as you take a deep breath. This moment feels like something you've been dreaming about for years, and you're both nervous and excited all at once.
Namjoon's fingers trail up your inner thigh, and you can't help but moan softly as his touch sends a jolt of pleasure straight to your core. You reach down, and tentatively guide his hand towards your now soaked core, your legs parting slightly to allow him access.
He gently slides his fingers between your labia, feeling the dampness and heat that awaits him. You gasp as his fingers brush against your clitoris, sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.
"Is this okay?" He murmurs, his voice low and filled with concern. You nod, unable to speak past the desire now coursing through you. “Words, please baby girl.”
The nickname immediately catches you offguard but you don’t comment on it. Your horniness yet again clouding your ability to question things.
“Y-Yes!”
With this confirmation, his fingers slide inside you, two, then three, stretching you gently as he explores your depths. You can't help but moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.
"You feel so amazing inside," he whispers, his fingers moving in and out of you in a steady rhythm. You can't help but thrust your hips into his hand, desperate for more.
He leans down and kisses you deeply, his tongue exploring your mouth as his fingers continue to thrust inside of you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending waves of pleasure through you.
As he continues to fuck you with his fingers, you can feel your orgasm building. It starts as a gentle tingle, then grows into a throbbing need that courses through your entire body.
"I'm going to come," you gasp, your voice shaking with desire. Namjoon grins, his eyes shining with need as he increases the pace of his fingers, his thumb rubbing your clit in circles.
"That's it, baby girl. Cum for me," he urges, his voice low and filled with lust.
Every thrust of his fingers and every circle of his thumb brings you closer to the edge, until finally, you can't take it anymore. The band unwinds and you start to squirm in place.
You lay there, breathing heavily, waiting for the high to go down. You feel somewhat embarassed that he just did this to you and saw you come. You can’t help but want him more of his touch. You want him inside you.
"Namjoon," you breathe, your voice rough with desire. "I want you to be inside me."
His eyes flash with desire, and he pulls his fingers out of you with a soft pop. He moves towards the bed, his erection leading the way.
"Are you sure?" he asks, his voice deep and filled with anticipation.
You nod, your heart racing as you watch him position himself at your entrance. You can feel his knees between your legs, and the heat of his body presses against yours.
"You can do it without the condom, I’m on BC." you whisper, your voice shaking with nerves and desire. “I-I’m ready.”
With one smooth motion, Namjoon pushes himself inside you. You gasp at the sensation. Holy fuck, he’s huge. Can you really fit him in you? You’ve never experienced someone this big. Namjoon senses your discomfort and is about to ask if he should stop, however, you wave him off.
“Please keep going, Joon.” Your body clenches around his erection as he continues, filling you completely to the brim.
"Fuck," he mutters, his eyes locked on yours. "This feels better than I imagined."
He places his hand right below your stomach, and you can see the switch in his demeanor become darker. He smirks at you. “I can even feel myself right here”
“H-Holy shit,” These are the only words you can let out as he starts to further dominate you.
“I’m going to start moving, okay baby?”
“Mhm.” Just nodding in agreement, you brace yourself for what is about to come. Namjoon's eyes never leave yours as he begins to move inside of you, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first before growing more forceful with each passing second. You cry out with each stroke, your nails digging into his back as he fills you completely.
Your hips start meeting his movements, your body craving the sensation of him inside of you. You moan loudly, your body arching into his touch.
His cock slides in and out of you, each thrust bringing a new wave of pleasure that leaves you breathless. You reach up, your hands gripping his shoulders as he continues to fuck you.
"Fuck, you feel so good," he growls, his voice filled with lust. "You're so tight."
As he plunges deeper into you, he leans down and captures your lips in a passionate kiss. His tongue dances with yours, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he fucks you harder and faster. You don’t want it to end, but you can feel the building tension within you again, the waves of pleasure threatening to overflow.
Every thrust brings you closer to the edge, and you know that you're not far from coming again. You arch your back, your hips moving in time with his thrusts.
"I'm going to cum," you gasp, your voice shaking with need. Namjoon groans, his eyes locked.
"Then cum for me, baby girl," he growls, his voice deep and filled with lust. He thrusts harder and faster into you, his body bucking against yours as he drives himself deeper into you.
Every thrust of his hips sends another wave of pleasure coursing through you. Your body is alive with sensation, every touch, every kiss, every thrust sending you higher and higher.
You can feel your orgasm building, pulsing through your core, and you know that this time it will be even more intense than before. Your body is on fire, every nerve ending alive with desire, and you can feel your climax reaching its peak.
"That's it," Namjoon mutters, his voice ragged with desire. "Cum for me, baby girl. Let me feel you come on my dick."
The words send you over the edge, and you scream his name as you come, your body convulsing around his dick.
"F-Fuck!" you scream, your voice echoing through the room. "Joonie!"
He feels your muscles clenching around him, and he knows that he can’t hold on much longer. He slams into you one last time, his own release building to a shuddering climax inside you.
"I'm cumming," he groans, his voice hoarse with passion. "Fuck, I'm cumming!"
As you both reach the peak of your orgasms, your bodies are shaking with the intensity of the pleasure. Breathing heavily. Sweating tremendously from the heat. Your nerves feel alive, and the overwhelming desire for him grows stronger. 
As the waves of aftershocks subsided, he pulls out of you gently, his cock glistening with your wetness. He breathes heavily, his eyes filled with laughter as he helps you clean up. It has been quite the experience, and you both know that this will probably become a regular part of your love life.
After cleaning up, he helps you into bed, spooning you from behind. You can feel that he was still hard under the sheets, and you giggle at his persistence.
"Joonie, you're still hard," you whisper, a smile on your face.
"I know, but I don't want to cum again just yet," he replies, his voice low and filled with desire. "I want to hold you like this for a while." He caresses your cheek gently.
You snuggle into his arms, your heart full of love for him. You drift off to sleep for a bit, before you wake up again wanting to do it again. This time, spending time pleasuring him. You suck his dick and deepthroat it, despite his worries. 
With this event, you know that your life will never be the same again. Namjoon has forever changed you, as well as Yoongi and Jimin and you couldn't be more grateful.
All that is left is figuring if you can make the polycule idea a reality.
Would it be insane if you’d try it? If you helped initiate the virginity race, then you could do this too. +++++++++++ [Extra POV]
Meanwhile, inside the house, chaos slowly dissipates as Soobin and Taehyun rush to tend to Yeonjun's bloody nose on the floor. Jungkook, guilt-ridden, is apologizing profusely for his friend's actions, his words tumbling out in a rush of remorse.
Beomgyu and Hueningkai, Yeonjun’s other close frat brothers, arrive on the scene. Beomgyu's laughter ringing through the air as he chides Yeonjun for his reckless behavior. 
"Man, you're lucky Namjoon didn't knock you into next week!" he jokes, though there's an edge of concern in his voice. “Can’t believe you thought it was fine to go up against a guy three times bigger than you!”
“Beomgyu, shut the fuck up. I don’t want to hear it.” Yeonjun groans as he holds a crumpled tissue paper to his nose waiting for the bleeding to stop.
Hueningkai turns to Jungkook, Taehyung and Hoseok, sighing, "Guys, your friend Namjoon needs to get out of here soon before the cops decide to show up from the commotion," he says, his tone urgent.
Hoseok nods in agreement. "He'll be out soon," he assures them. “They’re outside talking it out. If they don’t wrap it up in 15 minutes, I’m dragging his ass to John’s car or Jungkook’s.” 
“Yoooo, what the hell happened?” Soyoon chimes in with John and San trailing behind her. She looks at the sight in the living room all confused.
“The guy on the floor is Honey’s ex and Namjoon fought him because he was being an ass.” Jungkook summarizes, make the three nod in understanding.
“God, can you all shut up and stop talking about–” Yeonjun winces in pain, making Soobin panic.
Taehyun, his patience wearing thin, scolds Yeonjun sternly. "Well, what did you think was going to happen?" he chastises. "Jungkook told me Namjoon is in the gym five times a week, and all you do is shotgun beers and chase tri delts."
Taehyung chuckles at the remark, unable to resist the humor in the situation. "Yeah, you might want to rethink your strategy next time, buddy," he quips, though there's an underlying seriousness to his tone.
“I wanted to be friends with Y/N again.” Yeonjun slurs, his lips pouting out. “Can I have another drink?”
“But you see where that got you!” Soobin intervenes. "And no!” He firmly denies Yeonjun's request for another drink. "You've had enough drinks for one night, Jjun.” 
Yeonjun grumbles in protest, but Soobin's resolve is unwavering. With a supportive arm, he helps Yeonjun stand up, steadying him as they both rise. "I think you should go to bed," Soobin suggests softly, his tone gentle yet firm. "We'll handle slowly dispersing people out and tell them to go to another party."
Yeonjun nods. Beomgyu and Hueningkai step forward to offer their assistance. Beomgyu slings an arm around Yeonjun's shoulders, offering him a supportive grip, while Hueningkai moves to steady him from the other side.
"Let's get you to bed, man," Beomgyu says with a sympathetic smile, his tone reassuring.
Yeonjun leans on them for support, grateful for their presence as they navigate through the crowd. 
But as he stumbled along with his friends' support, Yeonjun couldn't ignore the nagging feeling of regret gnawing at him. Maybe he shouldn't have been so hostile, towards you or Namjoon. It wasn't fair to you at all. It wasn’t why he wanted to talk to you anyways
He couldn't shake the guilt that washed over him as he thought about your past together. He'd acted out of jealousy and hurt, hoping to reclaim a piece of something that was long gone. But now, faced with the consequences of his actions, he realized how foolish he'd been.
With this, he’s closing the door forever.
All he wanted was to crawl into bed and sleep off the alcohol-induced haze.
-
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tbc !!!!! :D
a/n: 3 MORE CHAPTERS LEFT. we are getting closer and closer to the eventual polycule we might get... or not. this was probably the most exciting chapter to write because it was planned since LAST AUGUST. literally before any chapter of this series dropped. rae and i had been plotting the yeonjun v. namjoon fight since then and ironically yeonjun was in apartment 404 and filmed a fight scene. so thank me for manifesting yeonjun fighting lmao. it took me a little over a month to write because i had job interviews and rae was busy with life/school to edit as well so apologies on the delay, but it is here now. i will try to work on ch 10 and make sure it doesn't take to long, but i have to be job searching so it might take some time again. the goal is to finish this series before the anniversary in late august so we will see. would love to hear y'alls thoughts or theories on what will happen to our favorite quad and the rest of the house next chapter. thank you all for reading!
➸ let me know what you think OR join the taglist! ➸ love u lately series masterlist
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kingofbodyrolls · 5 days
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My Heart's Home (m) | pjm | twelve
🐴Chapter summary: Life with Jimin is perfect— he is the man of your dreams and you feel like you’re living the perfect life. Until someone from the past shows up, scatters your world and leaves you utterly heartbroken.
🐴Chapter title: Broken Dreams
🐴Pairings: jimin x reader (main), jungkook x reader (only happens once in the first chapter), jungkook x OC (jessi), namjoon x OC (jessi), yoongi x hoseok, namjoon x oc, seokjin x oc, taehyung x oc
🐴Characters: female reader (she’s more like an OC, but isn’t mentioned by name and no “y/n”), Jiimin, Jungkook, Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Seokjin, Taehyung and four female original characters.
🐴Genre/AU: ranch!au, slice of life!au + smut, humor, fluff, slow burn and angst
🐴Rating: mature/explicit/R18 – this is mature/explicit content, so minors, please do not interact!
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🐴Disclaimer: I do not own BTS or know them personally and this work of fiction is purely fictional and for entertainment purposes only. The actions and personalities described in the story do not reflect those of BTS— it’s just fiction. Also, if you would kindly read the tags/warnings before reading, that would be lovely: and if you don’t like whatever is described in the tags, just hit return and find something else to read. Thank you 🌸
🐴Chapter warnings: angst, unprotected sex, spanking, nipple play, fingering, oral (female), scratching at back, hair pulling, squirting, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, a lot of crying and heartbreak I am so sorry 😭 there is also a mention of pregnancy (not reader!!!) and a lot of jealousy— I’M SO SORRY 😭
🐴Status: ongoing (to be completed on 2nd May 2024)
🐴Word count: 14.4k
🐴Taglist: @kookswifesblog, @kiki-zb, @babejinnie, @ownthesunshine, @allie-is-a-panda, @glllhjh, @bergandysam, @13-manggaetteok, @jeonsbabygirlsworld, @antisocial-mochi267,
*tumblr isn’t letting me tag you! There could be a lot of reasons for that, check out this lovely post about it.
🐴Now playing 💿 “Broken Dreams” by Rebecca Lavelle. [Wanna listen to the serie’s playlist?]
🐴Author’s note: I’m just gonna come out and say it: you’re gonna hate me again (and OC too), lol. This chapter is bittersweet and I’m really really sorry for the ending! 😭 It was very tough to write with all the angst and heartache.. But please know that the sun will shine on them again ☀️ And all the angst is almost over!!! 🥹 
It’s been cross posted to AO3 if you prefer to read there. Wanna see the book cover?
← previous | s.masterlist | m.masterlist |  next →
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“It’s so fragile Easy broken It’s so fragile, and it goes so slow” - ‘Broken Dreams’ by Rebecca Lavelle
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As the months whirl by in a blur of blissful moments, you find yourself lost in the sweet rhythm of love with Jimin. Each passing day is a testament to the depth of your affection, from the shared laughter in your work endeavors to the cozy nights spent intertwined in each other's embrace. Tonight is no different, with Jimin nestled beside you, his presence a comforting reassurance of your bond.
You find yourself roused from sleep earlier than usual, a rare moment where you get to simply observe him in his slumber – typically, it’s him stirring you awake. Yet today, the tables have turned, affording you the chance to marvel at his serene form. His face appears angelic, though you’ve also witnessed the mischievous glint that occasionally dances across his features. As he rests, a tranquil air envelops him, his face a study in tranquility; closed eyes, a delicately proportioned nose with a hint of mischief in its slight bump and ample nostrils. It’s an endearing combination, rendering him undeniably charming – a concoction of cuteness, handsomeness, and raw allure that leaves you spellbound.
Your gaze lingers on his flawless lips, plush and inviting, reminiscent of those on a Bratz doll – soft, pouty, and undeniably cute. It’s a marvel how lips can exude such innocence and allure simultaneously. The urge to kiss him swells within you, a magnetic pull drawing you closer with each passing moment.
His bangs cascade delicately across his forehead, a tousled masterpiece that you contributed to last night, a testament to the passion shared between you. Even in disarray, his hair frames his face perfectly, accentuating his captivating features. Every glance at him only deepens your admiration; he's a vision of beauty that leaves you utterly spellbound.
As he breathes, delicate moans escape his lips like whispers of contentment, each one painting a serene smile across your lips. Gently, you reach out and brush aside a stray strand of hair, revealing more of his peaceful face. In slumber, he appears almost otherworldly, his features softened by the tranquility of rest. Cupping his cheek, you feel the weight of his sigh resonate within you, a symphony that sets your heart aflutter with adoration.
A gentle stir ripples through his sleeping form, and you find yourself pondering whether he’ll awaken soon. With a day brimming ahead, perhaps it’s time to rouse him from his slumber?
You tenderly cradle his cheek once more, and in a soft, breathless murmur, your name escapes his lips as he nuzzles deeper into the warmth of your hand.
His eyes remain closed, yet he stirs with a newfound awareness, his voice filled with the warmth of morning sunlight. “It’s always a treasure waking up next to you,” he murmurs, his words like gentle caresses against the dawn.
Your smile blooms like a secret garden, unseen but felt in the air, as his words weave a tapestry of affection around you. Each syllable resonates deep within, echoing the sentiments you hold close. The days without him stretch like barren deserts, devoid of color and life, longing for the oasis of his presence.
“Kiss me,” his voice, a gentle whisper, carries a subtle plea as he utters those two simple words, a request laced with anticipation and tenderness. Though his eyes remain veiled behind the curtain of sleep, the soft curve of his lips tells a story of affection, inviting you into a moment of shared intimacy.
With a soft chuckle dancing on your lips, you lean in to meet his lips, the warmth of his breath mingling with yours in a delicate exchange. Each kiss is a symphony of tenderness and desire, a silent promise of unwavering devotion. Straddling his hips, you lose yourself in the sweetness of his lips, savoring every moment of the intoxicating lust between you.
His touch is a gentle caress, his palms radiating warmth as they cradle your cheeks. It’s as if his hands are a sanctuary, offering solace and reassurance in their tender embrace.
You draw back, gazing at his flushed face, captivated by the softness of his lips, irresistible in their plump allure. Unable to resist, you lean in once more, your lips meeting his in a fervent dance. Beneath you, his laughter ripples like a melody, adding a playful rhythm to your intimate symphony.
Finally, he unveils his eyes, locking onto your mesmerizing gaze. In that moment, you are a breathtaking masterpiece, his heart’s sole desire reflected in your every feature. You are his everything, his world encapsulated in your presence.
“Good morning,” he rasps, his voice a delicious blend of morning huskiness and raw desire, sending a shiver down your spine. With a tender touch, he brushes a stray strand of hair from your face, tucking it gently behind your ear, his fingers lingering as if savoring the sensation of your skin.
“Good morning, babe,” you chirp, your voice filled with morning cheer and affection, eliciting a chuckle from him that rumbles beneath you, unveiling those endearing crooked teeth of his, adding to his irresistible charm.
You press your hips against his, feeling the unmistakable hardness of his dick, and a needy moan escapes your lips. The sensation sends shivers down your spine, a testament to your insatiable desire for him, leaving you yearning for more of his intoxicating presence.
His hands eagerly grasp your hips, his gaze locking with yours in a fiery intensity and so much love. The depth of emotion swirling in those captivating brown eyes renders you breathless, and it should be illegal.
“Babe,” his voice, teasing and laced with desire, sends shivers down your spine as you continue to grind against him, a mischievous smirk dancing across your lips. 
“Hm?” You respond with a low, seductive hum, your teeth sinking gently into your plump lower lip, your eyes smoldering with desire as you lock gazes with him. Your expression, a tantalizing blend of need and longing, silently conveys your hunger for him.
“Weren’t yesterday enough?” In his chuckle, there’s a playful tease, yet his hands, now firmly gripping your hips and gently sliding to caress your ass, speak volumes of his unspoken desire.
“No. I can never get enough of you Jimin,” you declare with a breathy whisper, your voice laden with longing and desire, as you lean in to capture his lips once more. With every kiss, the hunger between you intensifies, driving you to press your clothed core against his now fully hard cock, seeking the electrifying friction that ignites fireworks between your bodies.
He releases a primal moan, his desire echoing through the room as he draws you closer, his arms enveloping you in a fiery embrace that ignites every nerve ending in your body.
“I see. I can’t get enough of you either,” he murmurs, lifting you gently, his gaze fixated on you with an intensity that makes your heart race. You’re a fucking goddess, hair tousled in a captivating disarray, cheeks flushed with desire, and eyes ablaze with a hunger that mirrors his own.
He delivers a firm slap to your ass, eliciting a gratifying moan from you. “Take your clothes off for me,” he commands, his voice laced with a potent mix of desire and authority.
You gaze down at your form, clad in the silky, provocative pajamas consisting of a camisole and shorts. With a deliberate motion, you seize the edge of the camisole and peel it off your body, allowing your breasts to spill out in a tantalizing display that elicits a deep groan from Jimin. His hands eagerly encircle your breasts, reveling in their softness and warmth.
“Fuck, I love your breasts. So beautiful like the rest of you,” his words send shivers down your spine as he admires your breasts with an intensity that ignites desire within you. You can feel his dick against you as you grind yourself further into his cock from outside the thin duvet.
His gentle tugs on your erect nipples send electric currents of desire surging through your veins, igniting a primal heat within you. The rush of lust floods your senses, pooling between your thighs and making you ache with need. You moan again, as you keep grinding yourself down on him.
“Now take your shorts and panties off.” His command is firm yet enticing, echoing in the air with a promise of untamed desire. You comply eagerly, shedding your shorts and panties with a sense of urgency, revealing yourself to him in all your naked splendor. As you hover above him, vulnerable yet empowered, the raw intensity between you crackles with anticipation, igniting a primal hunger that begs to be sated.
You sway your body tantalizingly above him, a seductive dance in the dim morning light. His laughter rumbles beneath you like a low, smoldering fire, igniting the already charged atmosphere. With a playful yet possessive touch, he spanks your ass gently, sending a thrill coursing through your veins.
“Now it’s your turn,” you murmur in a husky tone, a symphony of desire dripping from your lips as you seize the edge of the duvet, unveiling his chiseled form beneath. He’s just sleeping in his boxers and god, his physique, handsome and strong, so sculpted with his dedication to all the hard work around the ranch. 
You’re practically salivating as your fingers dance over his skin like eager flames, tracing the lines of his physique with a hunger that betrays your longing. From the inviting curve of his collarbones to the sculpted landscape of his abdomen, your touch ignites a trail of sensations that leave you breathless. Finally, your fingertips linger over the tantalizing bulge straining in his boxers.
With a teasing smile playing on your lips, you press yourself against him once more, the wetness from your pussy seeping through the fabric of his boxers, igniting a symphony of shared moans between you. 
You shift into a seated position, your eyes glinting mischievously as you playfully tug at the waistband of his boxers, “These are in the way.”
You gracefully slide to his side, giving him room to remove his boxers. As he swiftly tosses them aside, he playfully pins you down onto the mattress, eliciting a joyful giggle from you. In that moment, amidst laughter and desire, your heart brims with a potent mix of love and lust.
He descends to kiss you with a fervor that ignites every fiber of your being, his lips meeting yours in a tantalizing dance of desire. As the intensity of his kiss deepens, you feel his cock pressing against your lower stomach.
“Babe, you’re so pretty,” he breathes out, his voice laden with desire as he reluctantly withdraws from your lips. With a deliberate slowness, he embarks on a journey down your body, pausing at your neck where he showers you with a cascade of tender kisses, each one igniting a new wave of sensation within you.
You giggle and squirm in his embrace, his fingertips dancing along your skin, sending delightful shivers down your spine as his touch tickles you relentlessly.
“Jimin, stop teasing me,” you giggle, though the playful plea in your voice betrays just how much you relish these moments of playful torment.
He trails down your neck, leaving a tantalizing path of kisses and nibbles, his warmth spreading like wildfire. Lower, his touch becomes more urgent, igniting every nerve as he caresses your breasts, his lips a tender contrast against your skin, sending shivers down your spine as he takes a pert nipple into his mouth, sucking gently yet with an intensity that leaves you gasping for more.
Your breath hitches at his touch, a symphony of pleasure escaping your lips as your body instinctively rises to meet his, every nerve alive with anticipation. Fingers dig into his sturdy back, craving the closeness, anchoring yourself to the intensity of the moment as he sends waves of ecstasy coursing through your veins.
His lips and tongue dance with fervor on your sensitive nipple, coaxing out gasps and moans that echo through the room, your body writhing in ecstatic response beneath his touch. Each flick of his tongue sends shivers of pleasure coursing through you, your senses ablaze with the overwhelming sensation of his intimate caress.
You feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with each tantalizing brush of his dick against your slickened folds, igniting an insatiable hunger for him deep within your core. Your pussy throbs with an urgent need, aching to be filled by his cock as you yearn for the exquisite union of your bodies, desperate for the intoxicating bliss only he can provide.
With his deft touch, he lavishes equal care and devotion on your neglected nipple, ensuring that both peaks are stimulated. Each tender caress sends electrifying sensations coursing through your body, heightening your arousal to dizzying heights as you surrender to the intoxicating pleasure of his ministrations.
“Jimin—,” you moan out his name, your voice a symphony of pleasure. Every flick of his tongue, every gentle nip of his teeth, sends waves of ecstasy coursing through your veins. God, you love his mouth so fucking much.
He releases your nipple from his mouth, transferring his attention to its twin with a hunger that sets your senses ablaze. His lips and tongue work in tandem, igniting fireworks of pleasure that dance across your skin. Each delicate nibble sends a surge of arousal pulsing through you, your body responding eagerly to his every touch, every caress.
You writhe beneath him, your back arching instinctively as desire courses through every fiber of your being. Your nails dig into his skin, leaving faint imprints of your longing etched upon him. The hunger within you grows insatiable, a primal need driving you to crave more of him, more of his touch, his passion, his everything.
Understanding your unspoken desires, he trails kisses down your abdomen, his lips igniting a trail of fire along your skin. Arriving at your pussy, he pauses, taking in the sight of you with a reverence that sends shivers down your spine. Then, with a flick of his tongue, he indulges in the exquisite taste of your arousal, sending waves of pleasure cascading through your body.
You feel so sensitive down there, but fuck, his tongue is nice. Every nerve ending tingles with sensitivity and when he moves further into your pussy, his face fully buried between your thighs, he explores every inch of your cunt, teasing, sucking and slowly lapping up your juices.
He’s loud— god, the noises he’s making as he eats you out are sending shivers down your spine. The noises are obscene, and you can’t help but want more.
As he devotes himself to your pleasure, the world around you blurs into a haze of ecstasy. The intensity of his ministrations on your clitoris sends shockwaves of pleasure coursing through every fiber of your being, rendering you powerless against the overwhelming waves of sensation. With each exquisite movement of his tongue, your senses heighten, your body thrumming with an electric current of desire. You grasp onto his hair, unable to contain the primal urge to draw him closer, to merge further into the abyss of passion he’s guiding you into.
“Fuck, Jimin. I’m gonna come already!” Your words spill out in a desperate plea, the raw intensity of your impending climax building like a tidal wave ready to crash over you. Every nerve ending ignites with a fiery ecstasy as your body quivers in anticipation. With a primal cry, your orgasm surges forth, a torrent of pleasure engulfing you in its embrace. Jimin’s skilled tongue works tirelessly to capture every essence of your release, his devotion evident in every fervent lick and tender kiss, amplifying the euphoria of the moment.
You gasp for precious air, your chest heaving with the aftershocks of ecstasy, as your senses reel in the aftermath. For a fleeting moment, your thoughts scatter like leaves in the wind, lost amidst the haze of pleasure that envelopes your being.
As Jimin withdraws from your pulsating core, a single digit replaces his tongue, teasingly probing your slick folds. With effortless ease, it slides into your depths, igniting a symphony of sensations that echo through your body, eliciting a soft, involuntary moan from your parted lips.
Jimin’s soft chuckle fills the room, a symphony of delight as you clutch the sheets, your expression contorted in euphoric pleasure. Every furrow of your brow, every twist of your lips only adds to your beauty, a captivating portrait of ecstasy that leaves him utterly mesmerized.
He delves deeper, skillfully working his finger within you, each movement calculated to send ripples of pleasure through your core. As he adds another finger, your breath catches in your throat, a euphoric mixture of surprise and anticipation flooding your senses. With a soft gasp, you part your thighs more, offering yourself fully to his expert touch.
Still riding the waves of your first orgasm, every touch from Jimin feels like an extension of that euphoria, amplifying the sensations coursing through your body. 
As Jimin adds a third finger, a delicious stretch accompanies each movement, sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. With each thrust, he delves deeper, igniting a symphony of moans and gasps that fill the room.
Jimin skillfully explores the depths of your pleasure, his fingers questing for that elusive sweet spot, and you’re transported to another realm of sensation. When he finally strikes gold, a kaleidoscope of stars bursts behind your closed eyelids. “Jimin!” you cry out, surrendering to the rhythmic dance of his fingers as you eagerly match their movements, every stroke pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.
His voice, dark with desire, sends shivers down your spine, matching the intensity in his eyes. “Are you going to come again, baby?” he murmurs, his words dripping with anticipation, his gaze locked onto yours, igniting a primal fire within you.
You bite your lip, a silent affirmation as your head nods in agreement, unable to form words amidst the throes of pleasure that consume you.
With his other hand, he returns to your clit, expertly rubbing it in tandem with the rhythmic thrusts of his fingers. The dual stimulation sends shockwaves of pleasure through your body, rendering you utterly powerless to its intoxicating effects. It’s as if every nerve ending is ablaze, your mind and body consumed by the overwhelming sensations, unraveling at the seams and short-circuiting under his masterful touch.
“Come on my fingers, babe,” he urges, his eyes ablaze with primal desire, and you surrender completely. As the tension inside you reaches its breaking point, you convulse beneath his touch, releasing another wave of liquid ecstasy onto his fingers, your body trembling with the intensity of your release.
You pant desperately, consumed by the heat of the moment, yet hungering for even greater heights of pleasure. Your body thrums with an insatiable desire, craving more.
“Fuck. You alway look so beautiful when you come,” his words ignite a fire within you, sending waves of validation and arousal crashing over your senses. As your body responds eagerly to his touch, you can’t help but yearn for more, your inner walls clenching around his fingers in a silent plea for something more substantial, and oh god you wish it was his cock instead.
He keeps thrusting his fingers in and out of you as he lets you ride out your orgasm. Just when it feels like you’re teetering on the edge of sensory overload, he withdraws his fingers, allowing you to catch your breath. With a tender touch, he descends to capture your lips in a passionate kiss, his own desire evident in the intensity of his embrace.
Your breathless plea hangs in the air, laden with desire and longing, as you lock eyes with him, your fervent need laid bare. “Jimin,” you implore, your voice a whisper laced with urgency, “please, I need you inside me. I want you to fuck me. I want your cock so bad.”
His chuckle dances in the charged air, a mix of amusement and arousal, as he watches your desperate expression. With a tender touch, he guides his dick to your pussy, aligning it with your entrance.
“My baby is so needy,” his laughter, a symphony of desire, echoes in the room as he teases you with the tip of his cock, each gentle touch igniting a fervent ache within you. Your moan, a melody of longing, fills the space, a plea for him to quench the fire he’s stoked.
“Don’t tease,” your plea, laden with urgency and desire, hangs in the air, a desperate cry for him to fill the void he’s created. With a soft chuckle dancing on his lips, he obliges, parting your trembling thighs further as he eases himself into your dripping pussy. The sensation, an intoxicating blend of pleasure and bliss, envelops you like a warm embrace from the heavens.
Gasping for breath, you surrender to the overwhelming ecstasy coursing through you. “Ah, Jimin, fuck! Your dick feels incredible,” you pant, fingers curling around your legs as you draw them closer, a desperate attempt to deepen the electrifying feeling between your bodies.
His nose scrunches with intense pleasure as he thrusts into the depths of your walls, his hands bracing on either side of your body. A sharp intake of breath escapes his lips as he buries himself completely within you. Your inner muscles clench around him, eliciting a soft hiss of satisfaction from his lips.
His chuckle is breathless, a telltale sign of his struggle to maintain composure amidst the overwhelming sensation. “Who’s teasing now?” He manages, his voice laced with desire, a playful retort to your earlier plea.
He delves deeper into you, every inch of him enveloped by your warmth, the closeness of your bodies igniting an intense intimacy that sends shivers down your spine. This position, so raw and intimate, resonates deeply within you, a sensation you cherish with every fiber of your being.
With each withdrawal and thrust, he sends waves of pleasure coursing through your body, eliciting a passionate cry of his name to escape your lips. 
Your senses are ablaze with the overwhelming sensation of him, each powerful thrust sending ripples of ecstasy coursing through your body. With a fervent grip on the sheets, you surrender to the rhythm of his movements, the way that he fills and stretches you out, every thrust a symphony of pleasure that resonates deep within your core.
His hands firmly anchored on either side of your body, the intensity of each thrust ignites a kaleidoscope of sensations, sending you spiraling into the cosmos. With your legs entwined around his hips, you invite him to delve deeper, to explore every inch of your being as he plunges into you with an insatiable hunger. As he descends to capture your lips in a fiery kiss, you’re consumed by the raw passion coursing between you, lost in the euphoria of your love.
Fuck, you love this. The sensation of him filling you up, the fusion of love and desire coursing through every fiber of your being, it’s intoxicating. With each movement, each thrust, you’re consumed by a rapturous ecstasy, savoring every moment of him being deep inside you. As your lips meet his in a fervent kiss, you pour all your passion into it, matching his tenderness with an equal fervor, lost in the symphony of pleasure that only he can orchestrate.
You abandon the sheets and grasp onto his back, your nails grazing his skin with each powerful thrust, lost in a whirlwind of sensation. “Fuck. Jimin,” you gasp, the name slipping from your lips like a fervent prayer amidst pleasure surging between you.
He chuckles softly, his warm breath caressing your skin as he buries his head in the crook of your neck, teasingly nibbling at the sensitive flesh. Each gentle bite sends a shiver of delight coursing through your body, igniting every nerve ending with delicious anticipation.
Breathlessly, he murmurs against your neck, his voice laced with desire, “You’re so tight, so pretty.” He pulls out only to push himself back in again, seeking out that elusive sweet spot that sends waves of pleasure cascading through your body.
Every inch of him inside you feels like a perfect fit, igniting an exquisite symphony of sensations that leaves you gasping for air. As you feel him twitch within you, a surge of pleasure courses through your veins, prompting an instinctive clenching of your walls around him, drawing him deeper into your embrace.
The room is filled with the rhythmic symphony of your bodies colliding, the wet, intoxicating sound of skin meeting skin in a passionate dance. This must be one of your favorite sounds.
As he molds his body against yours, his weight pressing deliciously into you, almost laying flat against your stomach, you’re enveloped in his warmth and passion. His lips dance across your neck, alternating between tender kisses and playful nips, igniting a fire within you. With each stroke of your nails down his back, he responds with a symphony of pleasure, his breathy hisses a testament to the fire between you.
You feel him deep inside your pussy, and you sense the impending rush of another climax, building with an intensity that threatens to consume you entirely. This time, it surges through you with a force that defies containment, coursing through your veins like a wild river breaking free from its banks.
“Jimin, I’m gonna come again,” you pant as he drives into you with unrelenting force. With a wicked smirk, he rises, seizing your right leg and pulling it flush against his shoulder. As he presses down, stretching your body to its limits, each thrust plunges deeper, igniting sensations that border on divine.
His fingers find your throbbing clit once more, sending electric shocks of pleasure coursing through your body. You’re so sensitive, teetering on the brink, knowing that it only takes a whisper to send you cascading over the edge and come again.
His touch on your pulsating clit is electrifying, sending shockwaves of pleasure rippling through every fiber of your being. With each circular motion and gentle tug, you’re propelled into a whirlwind of ecstasy. Your senses overload as your vision blurs into a kaleidoscope of white, gasping for air as waves of euphoria crash over you. Your body convulses in rhythmic spasms, surrendering to the overwhelming pleasure coursing through you. It’s a symphony of sensation, leaving you utterly consumed by the intensity of pleasure, lost in a euphoric trance as your body dances to its own primal rhythm.
“Fucking hell, babe,” Jimin groans, his voice strained with the intensity of his impending release. You feel him still inside you, his body tensing with each pulsating wave of pleasure. Then, with an adorable scrunch of his nose, he reaches his climax. His grip on your leg tightens as he thrusts into you, his warm seed spilling within you. In that moment, you’re both lost in a haze of ecstasy, drenched in sweat, and gasping for air as the aftershocks of pleasure ripple through your bodies.
He pulls out of you and collapses beside you on the bed, his chest heaving with each labored breath, the aftermath of passion evident in his flushed cheeks and glistening skin. With a soft chuckle, his hand finds its way to his stomach, just resting there.
“What’s so funny?” You turn your head toward him, your lips curving into a smile as you catch the playful glint in his eyes.
“You squirted, and we made such a mess,” he laughs, pulling himself closer to you again, his warmth enveloping you. “It was... hot,” he adds with a mischievous twinkle in his eyes, his playful tone laced with affection and desire.
As you kiss him, you can’t ignore the sticky sensation between your legs, and it starts to feel slightly uncomfortable.
“I’ll clean you up babe, don’t worry,” he reassures, noticing the faint furrow on your brow, his voice tender and comforting.
He gets up from the bed, slips into his boxers and steps out of the bedroom. After a few moments, he returns, carrying a warm washcloth, a blush on his face and his eyes flickering with a mix of bashfulness and affection as he meets your gaze.
“Why’d it take you so long?” You groan, parting your legs to offer him easier access for cleaning.
He chuckles, his face flushing even more, “I met your sister, she said to keep it down next time.”
You sit up, a stern look etched on your face as you scoff, “Who is she to talk? She and your brother keep me up all night with their loud noises!”
He chuckles softly, drawing nearer to you on the bed, his fingertips dancing along the curves of your thighs, sending shivers down your spine.
“Then we should just be louder, no?” He suggests playfully, a mischievous glint in his eyes, though his cheeks remain flushed. His fingers hover tantalizingly close to your folds, teasing but not touching. Instead, he delicately applies the warm washcloth to your slick pussy, the comforting heat soothing against your sensitive skin. With careful motions, he begins to cleanse away the remnants of your shared passion, his touch gentle yet purposeful.
“Jimin, it’s not a competition. But we should totally do that next time,”  you chuckle, enjoying the tender care he showers upon you in the aftermath. The gentle touch of the washcloth against your skin is soothing, and you bask in the intimacy of the moment. Despite the tasks waiting for your attention, Jimin’s unhurried ministrations make you want to linger a little longer in this tranquility.
As he completes his task, his fingertips tracing delicate patterns on your thighs, you rise from the bed, feeling a sense of contentment envelop you. Scanning the room for your belongings, you locate a pair of panties and slip them on, then reach for Jimin’s abandoned button-down shirt, relishing in the comforting warmth it offers as you slide it over your shoulders.
When you pivot to face him, adorned solely in the delicate lace of your panties and his oversized shirt, a low, guttural groan escapes Jimin’s lips, his gaze trailing over your silhouette. With a languid movement, he reclines on the bed, his expression a mix of desire and admiration.
In a playful tone, you announce, “I’ll just paint a bit and then we can head down and get breakfast. You lay back and enjoy the view.” With a sly grin, you tug the curtains open just enough, anticipating how the morning sunlight will caress your skin as you immerse yourself in your artistic pursuit.
Allowing the brush to dance freely on the canvas, you let your mind flow with the strokes, creating another abstract masterpiece adorned with vibrant red hues. Glancing over your shoulder, you catch sight of Jimin reclining, wholly entranced by your artistic process, his gaze brimming with an unmistakable blend of affection and admiration.
Pausing mid-brushstroke, you shoot Jimin a playful smirk, your eyes twinkling with mischief. 
“Like what you see?” You tease, the hint of a smile playing on your lips.
Jimin’s groan reverberates in the room, his voice laced with desire. “Yes. You look so fucking hot in my shirt and with the bottom of your ass peeking out, and your tits out like that… are you sure we have to work today?”
You can’t help but burst into laughter, the sound bubbling with warmth and affection. Oh, how tempting it is to lose yourself in the allure of Jimin. Yet, duty calls, and as much as you crave his touch, completing this painting beckons with its own urgency and the rest of your work later.
With a playful sway of your hips, you tease Jimin further, the brush in your hand an extension of your artistic vision. Each stroke brings you closer to completion, the canvas soon to be adorned with your creativity and passion.
“It’s not fair,” he chuckles, rolling out of bed to retrieve his pants, “I’d like my shirt back, though I must admit, it looks ten times better on you.” His playful banter carries a hint of sincerity, his eyes lingering on your form as if the shirt were an afterthought compared to the allure it lends you.
You chuckle mischievously, relishing in the moment as you turn around and let the garment cascade off your body in a slow, tantalizing motion. Jimin’s eyes widen in awe, captivated by your confident display. With a sly grin, you saunter over to your dresser, effortlessly commanding attention. Retrieving a bra and shirt, you dress yourself with effortless grace, leaving Jimin momentarily spellbound. As he picks up his shirt from the floor and dons it, the air crackles with the lingering electricity of your playful teasing.
“Let’s get breakfast and then head to work,” you suggest, crossing the room to Jimin, where you plant a tender kiss on his plush lips, lingering for just a moment to savor the touch of him.
Side by side, you descend the stairs, the anticipation of breakfast fueling your steps. Rushing through the meal, you devour your food with a sense of urgency, knowing that the day's responsibilities are already waiting impatiently for your attention.
With the morning sun casting a golden glow, you embark on your daily routine, starting with the tender care of the garden. Jimin joins you, his hands deftly plucking out weeds, his laughter mingling with the chirping of birds. Together, you gather the bounty of carrots, spinach, cabbage, and peas, the vibrant colors a testament to nature’s generosity. As the day progresses, you transition to the stables, the scent of hay and earth enveloping you. With practiced hands, you feed the cattle and horses, their eager whinnies and low rumbles a symphony of farm life. Loading up the pickup truck, you set off to tend to the animals in the paddocks, the rhythmic rumble of the engine accompanying your journey across the sprawling landscape.
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“How does this thing work again?” You inquire, gripping the drill with determination. Both hands are occupied, grappling with the weight of the tool and the precision needed to secure the bolts just right. You’re on a mission to ensure every detail aligns perfectly, a blend of determination and mechanical finesse guiding your every move.
Jimin’s chuckle dances in the air beside you, his hand enveloping yours on the drill. “Let me show you,” he says, guiding your fingers to the trigger, igniting the powerful hum of the machine. “And if you don’t screw it in at a level, you can push this to make it reverse,” he continues, demonstrating the reverse function. His touch, warm and reassuring, sends a gentle thrill down your spine, mingling with the anticipation of mastering the task at hand.
He shifts his focus back to holding the wooden plank steady for you, ensuring a smooth process. With determined precision, you position the bolt and wield the drill, its power humming to life as you secure the bolt in place. Success! The satisfying click of the bolt settling in sends a surge of accomplishment through you both.
Grinning, you glance at him, exhilarated by the teamwork, “This is actually fun.” With newfound enthusiasm, you reach for another screw, eager to continue the satisfying rhythm of progress.
Jimin’s eyes light up with genuine delight, his smile spreading warmth, “My babe with power tools. Absolutely love it.” 
Together, you and Jimin finally tackle the long-awaited project of assembling the shed you'd spent months gathering wood for. Despite his initial plans to complete it sooner, life seemed to intervene, leaving the project on hold. But now, as you both hammer and drill, laughter fills the air, mingling with the satisfaction of progress. Working side by side, you relish the closeness and love, finding joy in shared achievements and the simple pleasure of each other’s company.
For months now, life has been a whirlwind of joy and contentment, leaving you with a constant flutter of butterflies in your stomach and a perpetual grin adorning your face. Even your sister, with her keen eye, has teased you about looking like a lovesick fool. But can you blame her? You’ve finally found everything you’ve ever yearned for: the warmth of family, a place to call home, and the embrace of the one you love more than words can express.
Startled by Yoongi’s sudden presence behind you, his voice cutting through your thoughts like a gentle breeze, you turn to find him standing there, a faint smile playing on his lips. “Can you lend me a hand down in the pen?” he asks, his tone carrying a hint of urgency that you can’t ignore.
When you fully face Yoongi, you notice the subtle glow on his face, a telltale sign that things with Hoseok must be going swimmingly. It warms your heart to see him so content, and in turn, fills you with joy. “Sure thing, just give me a moment,” you reply with a smile, ready to assist him with whatever task he needs help with in the pen.
Jimin’s affirmative nod accompanies a gentle smile, his eyes reflecting understanding and support. “I can handle the rest, love. Go lend Yoon a hand,” he says, his tone brimming with reassurance and affection.
You pass the drill to Jimin with a quick exchange, his fingers brushing yours in a fleeting touch that sends a jolt of warmth through you. Following Yoongi’s urgent call, you head down to the pen, where the sight of a spirited horse galloping about greets you, its untamed energy palpable in the air.
“What do you need help with?” You inquire, arching an eyebrow in curiosity, ready to assist Yoongi with whatever challenge he's facing in the pen.
Yoongi’s voice carries a hint of desperation as he explains the mare's skittish behavior. You notice the weariness etched on his face, his energy drained from his futile attempts to coax the horse. “Could you give it a shot? See if she responds to you?” he pleads, his shoulders slumping with exhaustion, revealing just how long he's been grappling with the elusive mare.
“Yeah I’ll give it a shot,” with a confident smile, you accept the challenge. Carefully climbing over the fence, you land softly on the sand, your boots sinking slightly into the ground. As you approach the mare, her wild movements seem to echo the chaos in her mind. Standing in the center of the pen, you observe her graceful gallop, realizing she's in a world all her own. Patience becomes your ally as you wait, understanding that time is your greatest asset in this endeavor.
Lost in the mesmerizing rhythm of the mare’s movements, time becomes elusive, and a sense of dizziness begins to swirl within you. As you watch her graceful strides, a heavy sigh escapes your lips, a silent acknowledgment of the passage of moments slipping away unnoticed.
As the mare continues her captivating dance, your attention wanders to Yoongi, realizing you’ve been standing idle for what feels like an eternity. “How are the other horses doing?” You inquire, your voice carrying a hint of fatigue from the prolonged stillness.
A soft chuckle escapes Yoongi’s lips before he responds, “They’re doing fine. We actually got another one picked up yesterday.”
You flash a warm smile, your voice laced with genuine regret. “That’s great news. Sorry I couldn’t be there.” 
Your heart swells with pride at the thriving success of your shared venture. “But I’m thrilled about how smoothly things are going. We’ve moved so many wild horses into new roles as stock horses.”
A sudden force jolts against your back, sending you stumbling forward, your heart racing as you struggle to regain your balance.
A radiant smile illuminates Yoongi’s face, brimming with pride and joy. “You did it!” he exclaims, his voice filled with genuine excitement and admiration.
As you pivot, your eyes meet the gentle gaze of the wild mare, standing before you with humility in her stance, her head lowered in submission. A soft whine escapes her lips, a sign of acknowledgment. Tenderly, you extend your hand, brushing it gently against her head. “Good girl,” you murmur, feeling a surge of connection and triumph in the air.
“You’re amazing. Thank you so much. I’ve been struggling with her for hours, making no progress,” he expresses, weariness evident in his tone as he perches atop the fence. “I’ll take her to the stables. She’s been out for too long; she deserves some rest. And you, you should rest too. Thank you once again.” With a grateful smile, he leaps down into the pen, effortlessly guiding the mare back to the stables without the aid of halter or rope.
“No problem,” you reply, stepping out of the pen and heading towards the main house. The day is winding down, and you’re hopeful that Jimin has prepared dinner that you can enjoy together.
As you open the door, the tantalizing aroma of home-cooked goodness envelops you, instantly awakening your senses. The savory scent beckons you forward, drawing you into the warm embrace of familiarity and comfort. With eager anticipation, you make your way into the living room, where Jimin lounges on the couch, adding to the cozy atmosphere with his relaxed presence.
“Did you finish work?” He inquires, tearing his gaze away from the mindless chatter on the TV, his eyes lighting up as they meet yours.
“Yeah, and I’m starving. Did you whip something up?” you inquire eagerly, closing the distance between you and him with each step.
“Yeah, it’s in the oven,” he responds, his fingers intertwining with yours as soon as you’re within his reach, a warm smile spreading across his face.
“Didn’t you already eat?” you ask, a hint of disbelief creeping into your voice, your eyebrows arching slightly as you await his response.
“No, I was waiting for you,” he says, his smile warm and genuine, eyes sparkling with affection as he gazes at you.
“Oh, baby, you didn’t have to, but we can eat together now,” you say, your voice carrying a mixture of sadness and affection, “come.”
You coax him up from the couch, intertwining your fingers as you head into the kitchen to uncover the delicious meal he’s prepared. The flavors dance on your taste buds, a testament to his culinary skill. Amidst bites and laughter, you savor the intimacy, sneaking playful touches and caresses, entwining your legs beneath the table, deepening the love between you.
“Long day?” he asks, his voice soft with concern as his foot finds yours under the table, the gentle pressure of his touch sending a tingling sensation up your leg, a subtle reassurance in his gesture.
“Yeah. I’m so sore and tired. You?” you ask, sinking deeper into your seat, the weariness evident in your voice as you release a heavy sigh, your body yearning for the comfort of relaxation.
“Me too,” he says, his voice carrying a hint of exhaustion as he stretches his body, a silent testament to the day’s wear and tear. “What do you say… if you clean up in the kitchen, I’ll make a bath for us in the tub?” His offer, infused with a touch of intimacy and care, promises a soothing respite from the day’s toils. 
Your eyes sparkle with anticipation at the mention of the tub. The thought of sinking into its welcoming depths has been a quiet longing in your mind for so long, and now, the prospect of finally indulging in its comforting embrace fills you with eager anticipation. The promise of soaking away the day's stresses in warm, soothing water feels like a luxurious treat, beckoning you towards a moment of serene relaxation.
“Deal,” you respond with a hint of eagerness, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. His laughter fills the room, accompanied by the soft warmth of his affectionate gaze, reminding you once again of the deep bond you share.
With a swift nod, you rise from the table, eager to fulfill your end of the bargain. The prospect of sinking into a warm bath lures you into action, and you quickly set to work clearing the table and storing the leftovers. Meanwhile, you delegate the task of drawing the bath to Jimin, trusting in his ability to create the perfect oasis of relaxation.
“Hey babe! Do you want some wine?” Your voice carries from the kitchen, punctuated by the clinking of dishes nearing completion.
“Yeah, sure!” Jimin’s response echoes from the bathroom, filled with anticipation for the cozy evening ahead.
As you open the cabinet, your eyes catch the glint of a bottle of rich red wine tucked away. With a soft pop, the cork relinquishes its hold, releasing the tantalizing aroma of aged grapes. Carefully, you select two delicate glasses, pouring a generous amount into each. The anticipation of sinking into the warm embrace of the bath, wine in hand, fills you with an unexpected giddiness, turning a simple soak into a moment of luxurious indulgence.
You enter the bathroom, and the soft glow of candlelight dances across the walls, casting an enchanting aura over the otherwise dark room. Your breath catches as you take in the sight before you: the bath, filled to just over halfway, exudes inviting warmth, while Jimin stands before you, his form illuminated by the flickering flames, his nakedness a captivating sight. The glasses of wine tremble slightly in your grasp as you carefully set them down beside the tub, feeling a surge of anticipation mingled with a hint of nervous excitement.
Jimin’s allure is undeniable, his presence commanding attention as you step closer to him. His complexion, a velvety blend of creamy hues, emanates warmth beneath the soft glow of candlelight, accentuating the rugged beauty of his form. Your fingers trace the contours of his sturdy pectorals, reveling in the strength they exude. “You look like pure sin,” you murmur, unable to resist the temptation that radiates from every inch of his being.
His laughter fills the room, a melodic accompaniment to the gentle caress of your hands on his chest. As you lean in to kiss him, the warmth of his lips against yours ignites a fire within. “I better get naked too,” you jest, your voice laced with anticipation and a hint of playful mischief.
With eager hands and shared anticipation, you shed your clothes in a flurry of desire. As Jimin assists in revealing your body, he helps pull your shirt off your body. He unclasps your bra and lets it fall to the floor, which makes his breath catch at the sight of your breasts, a primal reaction that ignites a hunger within him. With each garment that falls away, the space between you crackles with an electric tension, building toward the moment when you stand before him, naked and unapologetically yourself, basking in the raw intensity of the moment.
Like magnets drawn together, your bodies intertwine in a passionate embrace, igniting a fiery exchange of kisses that speak volumes in the language of desire. As your lips meet in a fervent dance, you sense the primal response coursing through him, evidenced by the subtle quiver of his dick beneath your touch. With a tender stroke of your hand, you coax forth a soft, involuntary moan.
“Let’s get in,” he urges, his hand enveloping yours as he guides you toward the inviting embrace of the tub. With graceful ease, he eases himself into the warm, welcoming waters, settling against the back while you follow suit, finding your place nestled in the curve of his lap. As you lower yourself into the tranquil depths, the subtle pressure of his dick against your back sends a playful shiver down your spine, eliciting a soft chuckle to escape your lips. The gentle caress of the soothing water envelops your skin, melting away the tensions of the day, cocooning you both in a blissful sanctuary of relaxation.
“Do you like it?” He inquires softly, his fingers expertly tracing soothing circles over your shoulders, coaxing out the tension that had been knotted within your muscles. With each knead and stroke, a contented sigh escapes your lips, a testament to the sheer bliss of his touch.
“I love it,” you murmur, surrendering completely to the sensations coursing through your body as his skilled hands work their magic. With a satisfied smile, you reach for your glass of wine, the cool liquid adding another layer of indulgence to the moment. Placing the glass back on the table, you sink deeper into the warmth of the bath, letting Jimin’s fingers weave their spell over your back, melting away every ounce of stress.
It’s an exquisite sensation, one that sends shivers down your spine as his hands glide from your shoulders to the front, delicately caressing your breasts. The moment his fingers encircle your nipples, your eyes flutter open, a soft gasp escaping your lips, betraying the sheer pleasure coursing through you. His touch ignites an urgent longing within you, echoed by the telltale twitch of his dick pressed against your back.
His touch becomes more fervent, his fingers skillfully rolling your nipples between them, sending waves of sensation coursing through your body. As his lips find the sensitive skin of your shoulder, his bite is both tender and teasing, perfectly complementing the tugs and pinches of his fingers.
Within moments, a surge of arousal floods your senses, igniting a fiery desire deep within your core. Each breath comes quicker, matching the rapid pace of your escalating lust.
As his skilled fingers work your nipples, you arch your back, pressing into his touch, the sensation sparking through your body like wildfire. It’s almost overwhelming how good it feels, sending waves of pleasure coursing through every inch of your being.
You lean back into his chest, letting your head rest beside his, and he teases your nipples, sending bolts of pleasure coursing through your body. “Jimin, fuck—” you moan, the intensity of sensation almost too much to bear.
He hums softly into your ear, his breath warm against your skin, sending shivers of lust down your spine. As he nibbles on your earlobe, a rush of desire floods through you, igniting every nerve ending with longing.
“What do you need baby?” His voice, a velvety whisper in your ear, sends a surge of heat coursing through your veins. As you roll your hips into his, seeking closer contact, the air between you crackles with electricity, fueling the flames of desire.
 “I need you Jimin,” you gasp, surrendering to the intoxicating pull of desire that consumes every fiber of your being.
“You have to be more specific babe,” he breathes in your ear, while one of his hands travels down, “Do you want me to touch you here?” He asks, his fingers hovering just above your clit.
A soft whimper escapes your lips as you bite down on your lip, the anticipation building as you part your legs further. “Yes, please,” you murmur, your voice laced with need and desire, your body trembling with anticipation for his touch.
As his fingers trace delicate patterns over your clit, you gasp at the gentle touch, every stroke sending shivers of pleasure through your body. With each soft moan that escapes your lips, his touch becomes more insistent, his fingers pressing down with increasing urgency, driving you to the brink of ecstasy real fast.
“Jimin!” You pant, your voice a breathless plea as the sensation intensifies, sending a surge of heat coursing through your veins. Your thighs quiver with anticipation, a tidal wave of pleasure building deep within your core, threatening to overwhelm you in its euphoric embrace.
“Are you gonna come so fast?” His taunt sends a delicious shiver down your spine, igniting a firestorm of desire within you. Despite the teasing, you find yourself powerless against the intoxicating allure of his touch. You know it’s pathetic how fast your body unravels for him, but you can’t help it. 
“Your hands are so good, I can’t help it,” you gasp against the sensitive skin of his throat, fingers gripping the edge of the tub for leverage. Every touch from him feels like an electric current, igniting sensations that leave you breathless. As the tension inside you reaches its breaking point, you surrender completely to the blissful release washing over you.
As the waves of ecstasy surge through you, you surrender to the primal rhythm of your body, yielding to the intoxicating sensations ignited by Jimin’s touch. With every nerve on fire and every muscle tensed, you gasp for precious air, your head finding solace in the comforting curve of Jimin’s neck. “Jimin, I…” you whisper breathlessly, words catching in the throes of pleasure.
He nestles his head closer to yours, his warm breath brushing against your skin. “What is it, babe?” he murmurs softly, his voice a soothing melody.
Your body quivers under his skillful touch, a symphony of sensations coursing through you as he continues to tease your nipples and caress your clit.
“I want to fuck you and for you to fill me up,” you murmur, your voice laden with desire, as you press yourself against him once more.
“Fuck, yeah,” he gasps, urgency lacing his voice as he withdraws his hands from your sensitive nipples and clit, firmly gripping your hips with a hunger that mirrors your own.
You lift yourself up, the anticipation electrifying every nerve as you easily find his dick and slide down on it. “Oh, fuck!” The words escape your lips in a gasp of pleasure as he effortlessly fills you, stretching you to the brink from the very first inch.
With his firm grip, he guides your movements, each thrust a symphony of desire and need as you ride him, fucking yourself on his cock.
You feel his warm breath against your skin as he whispers, “So pretty, baby,” before tenderly pressing his lips to the delicate curve where your neck meets your shoulder.
You tighten your grip on the tub’s edge, seeking leverage, as you rise and descend in slow, tantalizing motions. With each movement, water splashes out.. “Looks like you overfilled it,” you pant, a breathless admission, met with a soft chuckle from him.
As he peppers you with kisses, you strive to maintain your rhythm, riding him with all your passion. Yet, despite your efforts, fatigue begins to set in, and the discomfort in your knees becomes increasingly noticeable. This position, once thrilling, now feels taxing and hurting.
“Babe, my knees are hurting,” you plead, reluctantly pulling yourself off him altogether.
“Come, turn around then. I’m sorry,” he suggests, his tone apologetic as he shifts deeper into the tub, creating space in the middle. You turn around and comply, straddling his lap. As he effortlessly enters you once more, a soft moan escapes your lips, reverberating through the intimate space as he resumes his rhythmic thrusts.
“This is so much better,” you murmur, intertwining your legs and arms around his body. “And I love being able to see your face.”
With a chuckle, he leans in to tenderly kiss your lips, igniting a passionate rhythm as he thrusts up into you. Meeting his movements eagerly, you ride his cock with abandon, the water swirling around you in a sensual dance as the wine long forgotten.
You sense him pulsing within you, sending tremors of pleasure through your core, as your inner muscles start to contract in anticipation of another climax.
“Just let go baby,” he murmurs huskily into your ear, his every movement igniting a wildfire of ecstasy within you. You echo a breathless rendition of his name as your essence cascades around him. Clinging to him desperately, you surrender to the torrent of sensations as he intensifies his thrusts, sending waves of passion crashing through the water.
“Shit, Jimin, are you gonna come too?” You gasp, feeling his urgency mounting with each thrust of his dick, until he finally succumbs with a fervent moan, filling you with his essence and with a groan of your name.
You press your lips to his, savoring the sweet taste of him as you both stay still in the water, letting your orgasms wash over you. Feeling his warmth enveloping you, you start to gently rock your hips, coaxing another shiver from him, lost in the lingering sensations of bliss.
“Babe, it’s too much,” his breath comes in ragged gasps, his hands gently restraining your fervent motions. Looking into his eyes, you’re met with a torrent of desire, the heat of his gaze mirroring the flush that paints his cheeks. 
“Let me wash you up and take care of you,” his voice, a soft whisper against your ear, promises comfort as he retrieves the soap, its fragrance mingling with the warmth of the water. With practiced hands, he massages the lather onto your back, each stroke a tender caress that elicits a contented moan from your lips.
You let him massage you with the soap all over your body, all while he stays deep inside your pussy. Occasionally you feel the twitch of his dick and you realize he hasn’t gone fully soft yet, and now you can just feel him getting harder again.
He washes the soap off your body and you feel so nice, so cleaned and cared for.
“I want to return the favor,” you say, a soft smile gracing your lips as fatigue begins to settle in. Despite the weariness weighing on your body, the desire to care for your boyfriend burns brightly within you, compelling you to offer this small gesture of love.
You slide off his lap and reach for the soap, lathering it in your palms before trailing your hands over his body, mirroring the care he bestowed upon you. With each stroke, he emits soft moans of pleasure, surrendering to the sensation of your touch. His physique is a masterpiece of strength and grace, every muscle defined under your fingertips. As you work your way across his body, his biceps bulge with strength, his abdominals ripple beneath your touch, and he melts into your hands like pliable clay, yielding to your every caress.
“Babe, this is so nice,” his voice, a husky whisper, caresses your ears as he savors the sensation, lost in the bliss of your ministrations. With a tender smile, you rinse away the soap, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your fingertips. Drawn to him like a magnet, you lean in, capturing his lips in a kiss filled with affection and desire.
“This was such a good idea, Jimin. I loved it and I love you,” with a contented sigh, you express your gratitude, nestling into his embrace. The soft glow of candlelight flickers around you, casting playful shadows as you lean in for another lingering kiss, sealing your words with an affectionate embrace.
“Yeah. I love you too.” His voice, filled with warmth and sincerity, reverberates through the room as he gazes into your eyes, where he finds solace and home. In that moment, he realizes the depth of his feelings, the unspoken promises whispered between your shared glances. Perhaps it’s time to let the symbol of his devotion, the ring he’s carried for months, find its rightful place on your finger.
You linger in the embrace of the warm water, savoring the intimacy shared in those precious moments, until the realization of time nudges you both back to reality. Reluctantly, you rise from the soothing depths, cocooned in the lingering affection of the bath. With gentle care, you tenderly dry each other off, the soft caress of the towels becoming a silent exchange of love and tenderness.
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The comfort of spending the night at Jimin’s embraces you like a warm blanket, lingering even as the morning unfolds into a delightful breakfast shared together. With hearts light and minds focused, you dive into the tasks of the day, knowing that the warmth of your shared moments will linger like a sweet whisper in the air.
The gentle breeze caresses your skin, carrying the scent of blooming flowers, while the sun bathes everything in a golden glow, infusing you with an invigorating energy that seems boundless. In this moment, with the world painted in hues of warmth and possibility, you feel an unstoppable surge of euphoria coursing through you, propelling you forward on the wings of boundless optimism.
You’re idly gazing out the window when the distant rumble of an approaching car catches your attention. As it draws nearer, a sense of unease prickles at the edges of your consciousness. Then, recognition dawns like a lightning bolt striking through the air. It's Deiji’s car— Jimin’s ex. The sight sends a ripple of uncertainty coursing through you, stirring up a flurry of thoughts and emotions.
As you watch the car pull up, curiosity interlaces with a thread of apprehension. You feel compelled to step out into the yard, a sense of obligation mingling with a twinge of discomfort. Greeting her with forced politeness, you battle the tide of memories that surge forth with her presence. It’s not that you hold anything against her personally, but her arrival serves as a stark reminder of a painful chapter— a time when Jimin's silence cut deeper than words.
You step into the sunlight, its warmth caresses your skin, momentarily blinding you as you squint against its brilliance. Deiji emerges from her car, her form obscured by the glare, until you draw nearer and discern the telltale curve of her belly. 
Pregnant. 
The realization washes over you, mingling with a spectrum of emotions, from surprise to a begrudging twinge of hurt. Good for her, you think, though beneath the surface, a ripple of complex feelings threatens to surface.
“Hey,” Deiji greets you with a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes as you draw nearer. “Is Jimin around? I really need to talk to him.”
You nod in acknowledgment. “He’s inside,” you reply, gesturing towards the house.
“Cool,” she replies, her voice tinged with a hint of discomfort, her hand instinctively cradling her swollen belly. With a slight waddle, she makes her way towards the house. You follow closely, holding the door open to usher her inside.
As you step into the house, you find Jimin, who’s visibly taken aback by Deiji’s unexpected presence beside you.
“What are you doing here?” Jimin’s voice is tense, his gaze flicking towards the elephant in the room: her swollen belly.
As she gently caresses her belly, her words hang heavy in the air. “I came to tell you something,” she begins, her voice trembling slightly. “This baby... it’s yours.”
Your jaw practically hits the floor, and you can feel your heart somersaulting in your chest, threatening to burst out like a cartoon character. Glancing at Jimin, you see his shock mirrored in his wide-eyed expression, a reflection of your own disbelief.
“But we used a condom?” He blurts out, the disbelief and irritation palpable in his voice. It's as if he's trying to grasp at any rational explanation for the bombshell Deiji just dropped, his tone a mix of incredulity and denial.
“You know, sometimes accidents happen…” She utters those words with an infuriating calmness, her hand caressing her belly once more, a gesture that grates on your nerves like nails on a chalkboard. Every fiber of your being rebels against the notion that she’s carrying Jimin’s child. It feels surreal, like a nightmare you can’t wake up from, as if the ground beneath your feet is shifting and you’re teetering on the edge of a dizzying precipice. In the midst of your own tumultuous emotions, you can’t help but wonder what Jimin is feeling, how he’s processing this bombshell that threatens to upend your world.
Jimin stands before you, an image of stunned disbelief etched into every line of his face.
“And you came here for what, money?” Jimin’s voice trembles slightly, his words laced with a mix of anger and confusion.
A peculiar mix of emotions swirls within you, a tumultuous blend of anger and sadness that leaves you feeling unsettled.
“No. I just wanted to let you know. I know how important family is to you,” she starts, her voice tinged with sincerity as she settles onto a nearby stool.
You’re still standing there, dumbstruck, your emotions swirling like a turbulent storm. Deiji’s words echo in your mind. Jimin values family. Could it be that he wants to be a part of this child’s life?
“Can we get a paternity test, I’d like to be sure, if you don’t mind?” His voice quivers with uncertainty, his gaze flickering between Deiji and you. Despite the tremor in his voice, there’s a glimmer in his eyes, a hint of hope. You can sense it, that if this child is indeed his, he’s ready to embrace it. You just know.
Despite having rarely broached the topic of children and family, you’ve been unequivocal about your stance: kids aren’t part of your immediate plans, perhaps not even in the distant future. Yet, as you observe Jimin’s gaze, tinged with uncertainty, it's evident he’s treading carefully, mindful of your feelings.
“Yes, we can do a paternity test,” she responds, her hand instinctively drifting to her swollen belly once more, a gesture that feels almost possessive.
Jimin exhales deeply, his frustration palpable. “If this child is indeed mine,” he begins, his voice tinged with both uncertainty and a glimmer of resolve, “I want to be involved. I want to be there for them.”
His words hit you like shards of glass, each one piercing deeper than the last. You anticipated his decision, yet the reality of it cuts through you, leaving a raw ache in your chest.
“Great,” she replies with a smirk playing on her lips, as if she’s just achieved her ultimate goal with ease, leaving you feeling like a pawn in her twisted game.
Jimin scratches his head, a nervous habit you’ve noticed before, and turns to you, his expression torn between concern and uncertainty. You find it hard to meet his gaze, your own emotions swirling in a tumultuous storm. This situation feels overwhelming, like a weight you’re not prepared to bear. You're not ready to take on the role of someone's stepmother, to navigate the complexities of raising a child. It's all too much, too soon, and you're not sure how to process it all.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt anything,” she says, her tone dripping with faux innocence. As she looks between you, her eyes betray a subtle flicker of mischief. Even through the haze of your sadness, you can’t help but notice it, prompting a flicker of suspicion. What could she possibly be up to?
You’re enveloped in a storm of emotions, each one crashing against you with relentless force. This isn’t how it’s supposed to unfold, not in the grand narrative of your life. It feels like the carefully crafted script has been torn apart, leaving you adrift in a sea of uncertainty and dismay.
As Deiji departs, she leaves behind a lingering tension, promising to return with the verdict of the paternity test. In her wake, she leaves you and Jimin standing amidst the shattered remnants of what was once your certainty, the world around you now feeling as if it’s tilted on an unfamiliar axis.
In the abrupt aftermath of Deiji’s revelation, it’s as if an unbridgeable chasm has opened up between you and Jimin, leaving you stranded in a silence fraught with uncertainty. Each passing moment stretches like an eternity, filled with the weight of unspoken words and uncharted emotions, leaving you grappling for the right thing to say.
“I’m sorry,” as the tension hangs heavy in the air, Jimin’s voice breaks through the silence like a fragile whisper, laden with the weight of regret and uncertainty. His hand finds yours, offering a gentle reassurance amidst the chaos of conflicting emotions swirling around you both.
A cold numbness settles over you like a heavy shroud, dulling your senses to the world around you, even to the touch of Jimin’s hand clasping yours. Words elude you as you meet his gaze, lost in the hollow void of your own emotions, feeling hollow and devoid of purpose.
“It’s… okay. I know how important family is to you,” you murmur, your voice barely a whisper, drained of its usual warmth and vitality. Each word feels heavy on your tongue, laden with the weight of resignation and sorrow. You force a semblance of understanding into your tone, masking the turmoil brewing within. Yet, beneath the surface, you’re crumbling, feeling like a mere echo of yourself, hollowed out and devoid of the vibrant spirit you once possessed.
“Do you think we can do this?” he implores, his gaze probing yours with a desperate intensity, as if seeking a lifeline in the depths of your soul. Yet, you can’t meet his eyes fully, for fear that he’ll uncover the barren expanse where hope once flourished. In the silence that follows, the weight of uncertainty hangs heavy between you, casting a shadow over any flicker of optimism that might have remained.
“I...,” you start, your voice quivering with emotion as tears threaten to spill from your eyes and your throat constricts with the weight of unspoken fears. 
“I don’t know,” you finally admit, the words hanging in the air like a heavy fog, obscuring any clarity or certainty that might have once existed.
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After about a week, Deiji returned with the results of the paternity test, confirming that the child was indeed Jimin’s. It felt as though the ground had shifted beneath your feet once more, leaving you reeling in the aftershocks of this irrevocable revelation.
Since then, you’ve thrown yourself into anything and everything to keep busy, desperate to avoid encountering Deiji altogether. But it seems like she’s practically moved into Jimin's place, and every time you catch a glimpse of them together, it's like a knife twisting in your gut. They’re playing house, oblivious to the turmoil they’ve caused you, and it's tearing you apart inside.
Jimin has been making an effort to keep you in the loop, updating you on the baby’s progress. He tells you that Deiji is now seven months pregnant, and it’s a girl. But with each piece of news, it’s like a dagger to your heart. Part of you doesn’t want to hear it anymore because it’s a constant reminder of the life you never signed up for, the pain you never asked to endure.
It’s not entirely Jimin’s fault; accidents can happen even with precautions. He’s made sincere efforts to include you, but despite his attempts, you can’t shake off the growing chasm between you. It’s like watching two continents slowly drift apart, unable to bridge the gap that keeps widening with each passing day.
Every time Deiji crosses your path, she exudes an aura of radiance, almost as if she's dipped in the fabled glow of pregnancy. You can’t help but notice the adoring glances she casts at Jimin, the lingering touches that seem to extend beyond mere familiarity. It's a bitter pill to swallow, witnessing these subtle gestures, and you wonder if Jimin perceives them as you do. Yet, you’ve kept your silence, letting the unspoken tensions simmer beneath the surface.
Confronting Jimin feels like stepping into a storm, knowing the tempest of emotions brewing within you. It's a conversation you know you should have, to lay bare the tumultuous whirlwind of feelings raging inside. Yet, the words stick in your throat, heavy with uncertainty and fear. How do you articulate the overwhelming doubt, the gnawing apprehension that this path isn't meant for you? 
The thought of navigating this intricate web of emotions with Jimin and Deiji looming in the background feels suffocating, like grappling with shadows that threaten to swallow you whole.
The prospect of parenthood is daunting enough on its own, a weighty responsibility you don’t feel prepared to shoulder. Yet, the thought of co-parenting with another woman adds a layer of complexity you can scarcely fathom. While you acknowledge that blended families are a reality for many, you struggle to envision it as your own. The mere idea of navigating this uncharted territory feels like venturing into a labyrinth with no clear path forward, leaving you grappling with uncertainty and a profound sense of unease.
The green-eyed monster rears its head within you, its claws sinking deep into your heart every time you witness Deiji’s presence beside your boyfriend. Watching her cozy up to him feels like an intrusion, a relentless assault on the sanctuary of your relationship. With each stolen glance and tender touch, it's as if she’s encroaching on sacred ground, threatening to snatch him away from the haven of your love.
You’ve been drifting apart from Jimin, caught in a whirlwind of avoidance and busy distractions. Despite his efforts to reach out and bridge the growing chasm between you, you’ve been hesitant, grappling with conflicting emotions. However, when he extends the invitation, promising to cook for you, you find yourself unable to resist the pull any longer. It’s a chance to reconnect, to confront the mounting tension between you, even if it means braving the storm of uncertainty that awaits.
As you pull into the familiar driveway of his ranch, the weight in your chest seems to grow heavier with each passing second. Dread coils around your heart like a suffocating vine, yet you know deep down that this conversation, however daunting, is inevitable. You sit in the car for a moment, grappling with the turmoil within, torn between the comfort of avoidance and the necessity of facing the truth head-on. With a resigned sigh, you steel yourself for what lies ahead and step out into the uncertain terrain of your emotions.
As you swing the door open, a tantalizing aroma envelops you, weaving its way through the air and tickling your senses. Stepping into the kitchen, your eyes meet Jimin’s, and though he greets you with open arms and a warm embrace, the sweetness of his gesture fails to penetrate the thick fog of your unease. His lips press against yours in a tender kiss, but the connection feels hollow, as if the weight of unspoken words hangs heavy between you.
With a gentle gesture, he pulls out the stool for you, a silent invitation to join him. As you settle onto the seat, your gaze falls upon the meticulously arranged plate of food before you. Despite the rumbling of hunger in your stomach, an invisible barrier seems to stand between you and the meal, rendering it unappetizing despite its savory allure.
“How are you doing, babe?” He inquires, settling into the chair opposite you. With a tender gesture, he reaches for the water pitcher, his eyes never leaving yours as he fills your glass, a silent act of care amidst the weight of unspoken emotions.
Your gaze remains fixed on the plate before you, yet your mind races like a frantic symphony, each thought clamoring for attention amidst the chaos. Your heart quickens its pace within your chest, a drumbeat of apprehension echoing in the silence. Your palms grow clammy with the weight of unspoken words, and your head spins with the tumult of emotions swirling within.
“Babe?” His voice, soft yet insistent, pulls you from the depths of your swirling thoughts. Leaning in, his eyes search yours, brimming with concern, a silent plea for understanding in the midst of your internal storm.
“I...,” your voice falters, tears threatening to spill anew, a familiar ache settling in your chest. “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” the words tumble out, heavy with the weight of uncertainty and fear. As you speak, each syllable feels like a burden, your body tensing, constricted by the weight of your emotions. It’s as if your heart is trapped, pounding relentlessly against the confines of your ribs, suffocating in the tightness of the moment, each breath a struggle against invisible restraints.
“What do you mean?” His voice carries the weight of concern, etched with worry lines that deepen with each passing second. His eyes, a mirror to his troubled mind, search yours for answers, pleading for clarity amidst the fog of uncertainty.
“It’s tearing me apart, Jimin,” you confess, the words tumbling out in a rush, as if trying to escape the weight of your emotions. “Seeing you and Deiji together, it’s like a constant reminder of what I’m not ready for. I can’t handle it—I’m not prepared to step into that role, especially not with someone else’s child.” The heaviness in your chest threatens to suffocate you, each syllable a battle against the turmoil within.
Despite the softness in his gaze, your mind is too consumed by turmoil to fully register it. “I’m sorry, babe,” Jimin murmurs, his voice laced with genuine concern, but it feels distant, overshadowed by the weight of your confession.
His words, though well-meaning, falter as they leave his lips, carrying a hint of uncertainty that mirrors your own inner turmoil. “I’ve been trying to include you in everything... it’s going to be alright. I think we can do it together,” Jimin says, his voice wavering slightly, echoing the uncertainty that looms over your shared future.
With a heavy heart and trembling resolve, you muster the courage to speak your truth. “That hasn’t really helped me... and,” you draw in a deep breath, steeling yourself for the words to come, “I want to break up.” As the weight of your decision hangs in the air, you can almost hear the echoes of your heartbeat, each pulse a reminder of the profound shift unfolding between you.
His face registers the shock of your words, a flicker of hurt crossing his features as though caught off guard by the abruptness of your revelation. The surprise in his eyes speaks volumes, a silent testament to his obliviousness to the silent turmoil brewing beneath the surface for weeks. Amidst the whirlwind of impending fatherhood, perhaps your distress remained invisible, eclipsed by the overwhelming anticipation of a new chapter. It’s a bitter realization, yet you find no solace in casting blame; after all, his preoccupation was understandable given the circumstances.
His words tremble with uncertainty, mirroring the quiver in his voice that betrays a vulnerability you hadn’t fully anticipated. As his gaze meets yours, laden with a blend of confusion and desperation, you grasp the gravity of your decision. His untouched meal sits forgotten, a testament to the weight of your revelation. “You... you want to break up with me?” The question hangs heavy in the air, laced with a rawness that pierces through the silence. “I don’t want us to break up. I love you.” Yet, amidst the turmoil, his declaration of love resonates, a fragile plea tethered to the hope of salvaging what remains of your bond.
With a silent nod, you feel the lump in your throat constricting, stifling the words that threaten to spill forth, and tears blur your vision like unbidden raindrops on a windowpane.
“But I can’t do this anymore, Jimin. I love you deeply, I really do. But this… it hurts me so much, I can’t take it,” you express, your fingertips tracing a path along your arm as tears carve rivulets down your cheeks, your voice quivering with emotion and your breath hitching with each sniffle.
“Babe, I’m truly sorry. I had no idea you were carrying this weight and feeling like this,” his voice drips with sorrow, each word heavy with remorse, and it only amplifies the ache in your chest, pulling you deeper into the vortex of sadness.
“It’s okay. I should have talked to you sooner, it’s just been so hard. A lot has happened and you’re going to be a father and that’s great!” You force enthusiasm into your voice, the artificiality of it chafing against your soul, leaving a bitter aftertaste that lingers uncomfortably.
A furrow deepens upon his brow, betraying the storm of emotions brewing beneath the surface. His lips, usually so quick to speak, now maintain an uneasy silence, concealing the torrent of thoughts and feelings poised to spill forth.
“I really think it’s best to break up,” you reiterate, sensing a fleeting calm settle over your racing heart.
“But I can’t bear the thought of losing you,” he pleads, his voice cracking, tears glistening in his eyes. It’s agonizing. You tighten your grip, desperately searching for any semblance of resolve.
“I know, I don’t want to lose you either. But as much as it pains me, I can’t go on like this. I need to break up,” you say, trying to hold firm, though every word feels like a jagged shard piercing your heart.
“If that’s truly what you want,” his voice barely audible, almost drowned in the weight of the moment, “then I... I understand.” 
“It is,” you respond, the finality of your decision echoing in the stillness of the room.
Tears cascade down both your cheeks, reflecting the pain and sorrow shared between you. With a heavy heart, you rise from the stool, your voice quivering with emotion. “I’m so sorry, Jimin.”
His gaze averts from yours, perhaps overwhelmed by the weight of the moment. You share the sentiment; the intensity is almost suffocating, tears obscuring your vision like a torrential downpour.
“Thank you for dinner. I’m sorry I couldn’t eat, and I’m sorry it had to end like this,” you manage through tears as you step out of the house. Each word feels like a boulder on your chest, weighing you down with the enormity of the situation. Behind you, Jimin’s sobs echo in the air, tugging at the fraying edges of your resolve. You yearn to turn back, to embrace him, and promise that somehow, everything will be alright. But deep down, you know that this pain is inevitable, and your heart, already fractured, can’t bear any more.
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As you park your car at home, the weight of the evening’s emotional storm presses down upon you. Tears blur your vision as you lean back in your seat, surrendering momentarily to the overwhelming tide of sadness. Suddenly, a soft knock on your window breaks through the solitude. Startled, you glance over to find your sister standing there, her concerned eyes peering in through the glass, offering a glimmer of solace in the darkness of your despair.
You attempt to staunch the flow of tears with the rough fabric of your sleeve, and you take a deep breath and gather your courage before opening the door and stepping out into the cool night air.
Her eyes widen with concern, scanning your face for clues to the turmoil within. “What happened?” she asks, her voice laced with apprehension, mirroring the anxious furrow of her brow.
You collapse into her embrace, tears flowing freely as you surrender to the weight of your emotions. “I broke up with Jimin,” you confess, your voice choking with sorrow and regret.
She envelops you in a comforting embrace, whispering soothing words into your ear as her gentle hand traces comforting circles on your trembling back, offering solace in the warmth of her presence.
The solace she offers feels like a balm to your wounded soul, a fleeting moment of respite amidst the storm of emotions raging within you.
As she absorbs your tears with her embrace, she gently queries, “Why did you break up with him?” Her voice carries a blend of concern and curiosity, inviting you to share the weight of your heartache.
Amidst your tears and sniffles, you pour out your heart, “I don’t want kids and I can’t be in a relationship with Jimin and Deiji, because she’ll always be there now.” The weight of your words carries the burden of your decision, punctuating the depth of your emotional turmoil.
With gentle reassurance, she guides you across the yard, her comforting touch a lifeline in the storm of your emotions. Though your steps falter, you find solace in her presence as she leads you back into the sanctuary of the house, your tears mingling with the memories of what once was.
“I’m so sorry,” with heartfelt sincerity, she utters words of empathy, her voice a soothing balm to your wounded spirit. As you both settle onto the familiar embrace of the couch in the living room, she enfolds you in her arms once more, offering solace in the warmth of her embrace.
“Me too,” you manage between choked sobs, the ache in your chest palpable with each word. “I still love him so much. It fucking hurts!” Your voice rises, echoing the turmoil within, tears streaming down your face unabated. As your body trembles with emotion, you wonder if this pain will ever relent, if time will ever heal this shattered heart.
“It’s going to be alright, sis,” she murmurs, her voice a soothing balm against the storm raging within you. With gentle strokes, she caresses your hair, guiding your head to rest against her chest. In the warmth of her embrace, you find a fleeting solace, a momentary respite from the tempest of emotions tearing you apart.
“I don’t know, Jess…” You manage between hiccups, the weight of your words heavy with sorrow. “Jimin is the love of my life. I’m just not ready for kids... and I…” Pausing to gather the fragments of your shattered heart, you let the raw ache of longing spill forth. “I can’t do it. I feel jealous all the time. And now he’s going to be a dad?” Each syllable quivers with the agony of uncertainty, a plaintive cry echoing the turmoil within.
She gently pats your head again, a soothing rhythm against the tempest raging within you, yet the storm of emotions refuses to settle.
“I hate myself for feeling like this. For not being ready to have kids… but I just can’t,” you confess, your tears flowing erratically, echoing the tumultuous turmoil within.
“Perhaps my love isn’t strong enough,” you suddenly ponder aloud, lifting your gaze to seek solace in your sister’s eyes, hoping for clarity amidst the storm of doubts swirling within.
“I believe you love Jimin with every fiber of your being. But sometimes, prioritizing your own well-being is necessary. If you can’t fully commit, it’s better to step away before you’re consumed by the pain,” she offers, her words a balm to your wounded heart. Despite the anguish tearing you apart, her reassurance provides a glimmer of clarity, even though the thought of moving on from Jimin feels like an insurmountable task— and deep down you know that you’ll never get over Jimin.
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Author’s note(2): Thank you so much for reading! 🌸 I would very much appreciate it if you reblogged the chapter, if you liked it ✨ A small review or a comment would also mean a lot to me, and even a like. But please, don’t be afraid to let me know what you think; your kind words makes me extremely happy 💜
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freemindedspirit · 2 years
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Min Yoongi Past Life
This is solely based on intuition and clairs, no cards were used.Feel free to ask any questions you have.Entertainment purposes only.
As soon as I tapped in, I heard loud music and saw Yoongi riding a horse, we seemed to be in Antic Rome.I strongly got the feeling that Yoongi was a respected commander in the empire’s army, which seemed strange because that is quite far from what I’d expect from his essence 🤔I immediately heard “unexpected war hero”.I’m getting the feeling he was adopted by a Senator or someone close to the Emperor, and was taught Roman politics and the art of war and philosophy from a young age.However, due to his reputation as this person’s son, he was threatened and was given no choice but to go to war.He came back successful, but simply by a stroke of luck he’d say but the other army generals and commanders disagreed.I think he saw a younger soldier die to protect him, and was feeling very guilty about it.This young soldier didn’t come from Rome but another province, and I see him kneeling in front of a leader, so I think he went apologizing to the province leader for the death of the young boy (his words not mine), against the general public opinion who would have thought his death would have been meaningless.I think this kind of behavior enraged him so bad he did everything he could to become a politician and twist the society of his time into what he wanted it to be, a more fair and just society. I think he might have done some illegal things to insure the progress of society ?Not necessarily very bad things but corruption, threats against power hungry advisors, sponsoring philosophers or savants illegally…Tbh I don’t remember much from my Latin classes, but from memory society at the time was less heteronormative but a bit more structured socially, for example it wasn’t exceptional for an emperor to have a wife and a male lover publicly on the side (well I mean it’s the emperor who’s gonna stop him), but I think Yoongi fell in love in a way that was taboo in his time.I think it happened long after his military exploit and his work in politics.He might actually have been married at the time, but with no kids.I think things started to get messy, which would have put his lover in danger, so he ran away with them one night while leaving his wife behind, but not without making sure she wouldnt be shamed or left without means.However, I don’t think he lived many years after running away with them.
I think this life was really meant to make him understand lessons around the idea of authority and it’s impact on community, like an Aquarian /Capricornian awakening of some sort 🤔
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pynkgothicka · 6 months
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Always Forever MYG
Pairing - Yandere! Dark! Min Yoongi x Frankenstein! AFAB! Reader
Featuring - Sarah Paulson (HELP THE KILLER IS ESCAPING HELP ME)
Tags and Warnings - death, sex, yandere tendencies, grotesque descriptions, gaslighting
Authors Note - this counts as my Halloween fic since I be lazy, but I promise to write more! First I'll finish the monster series then the reqs! Then I'll write what I wanna write yada yada probably do a non bts series or fic
A friendly reminder that all my works are dark fanfiction! Please if you do not like that do not read them! These depictions don't pertain to reality.This is your final warning before hitting the keep reading button!!
He needed something, anything.
Staring at he conglomerate of body parts he stole from previously dead people of the outskirts of the village he found himself by.
Yoongi shook his head as he looked at the body parts. He wanted to focus on the task at hand, even if it was considered testing death itself.
He was meticulous, finding different shades of her skin tone to fit his new creation. All to top it off was her head.
The head of his dead wife, you.
He looked at it, running his finger down it's cheek. It was cold, too cold. He missed seeing you alive, having any ounce of warmth from your body. It was such a loss when he had to take and cut off your rotten body parts. He wanted you to be perfect.
Yoongi planted a kiss on the top of your severed head, a stray tear going down his face. “I'll get you back my love, I need you back.”
🪡
You blinked, seeing as you were covered in a sheet. Taking a deep breath you breathed in the scent of fresh linen. A shadow came over you, peering at your covered body. Your head was uncovered as you looked into a man's face. Blonde hair and dark eyes that sparkled once seeing you.
His hand trembled as he ran his shaking thumb on the side of your face. “Y- You're alive… you… you're beautiful.” His lips came to the top of your head, as he kissed it. You tried to speak but all that came out was a small squeak.
But the man found this amusing. “It seems like you forgot everything… Seems as if I didn't have my science all down.” He adds smiling. He held your hand helping you to move off the lab table. You almost immediately fall, the man taking your arm and holding you up. “Don't fall now come on let's get you to the wheel chair.”
He placed you down gently, running his hand over your stitches. He pulled at a few and securing them. “Okay, it's all in place… I'm so happy you're back. Well not all the way back I just have to do some reteaching. Like me, I’m Yoongi. Min Yoongi your husband.”
Yoongi made faces to help you pronounce his name correctly. “Y-You. Yoon-gi.” You finally muttered out in which Yoongi smiled and kissed your head.
“See look how easy it is for my brilliant wife to learn. I'm going to reteach it all to you my love…That and so much more…”
🪡
Having to be retaught everything wasn't the most normal feeling. But Yoongi, was more than helpful in making you remember who you were and the basics of living.
Yet he pushed for your captivity within the walls of his mansion. You stay at his feet most of the time while he worked and wrote letters.
He even constantly reminded you of your beauty and how you were the most beautiful girl hes ever seen. It was sweet in your eyes yet you were surrounded by so many depictions of beauty that weren't what you looked like. Different shades and natural movement you've yet to nail down.
But still you wondered about what existed past the mansions walls. Especially the village in the distance. You wondered about the women there and if they looked and aced like you. Your mind was busy and it could be shown on your face.
Snap!
You blinked as Yoongi snapped his fingers in front of your face. “Sorry, I was thinking.” You said quietly looking back towards Yoongi as he read a book.
“Thinking? About what?”
“I don't… look like. The paintings. Or the films.” You were able to piece together to form a sentence. It was degrading yes but true.
“Well who told you that?” Yoongi inquires while raising a brow at you. Gulping at the sternness in his voice, you speak up against him.
“No one told me that. I… I don't look like them. I don't, look like any of the women you've shown me.” You say getting up from your spot besides Yoongi. You look out the window in his study at the town in the far off distance. “I bet the village has-”
Yoongi gets up and grabs your hand gently. He runs his hand down the side of your face and leads you to turn away from the window. “Is that what this is about? Going into town?” He mumbles leaning into your neck. He peppered kisses along a stitch that tickled in particular. You giggled and looked at Yoongi your mind going blank at what you were mad at. “Is that better my love?”
“Mhmm. Yes Yoongi…”
“Good let's continue reading.”
🪡
Of course the thought came back.
The lights and the sounds of joy and fun. It haunts you, the time known as Halloween the same night as tonight. Yet here you were with Yoongi, his body over your own.
His thrusts increased in speed as he pounded into you. It was weird how full he made you feel. But you didn't mind it, you enjoyed it actually. Yoongi wrapped a hand around your stitched throat, pinning you to the bed. You let out a groan as Yoongi filled up your cunt, his cum spilling from inside of you. He pulled out and laid on top of you, peppering more kisses along your face.
“That was amazing…” Yoongi mumbles as he rolls over from on top of you. He wraps a arm around your naked form. You feel his lips against the middle of your neck, and soon the silent breathing known as sleep.
Tonight was the night.
No matter what you were getting out of here.
You hobble out of bed, limping towards the wardrobe. You grabbed a sweater he made for you and a long white skirt. Throwing both of them on you sneak out of the bedroom. You head to the bathroom and wipe your legs, making sure you were clean. You quietly make your way down the stairs to the front door. You look back making sure Yoongi wasn't behind you.
Nothing.
So you kept moving. Walking along the side of the road, dirt and rocks digging into the bottom of your feet. Your limp was soon gone as the pain dulled. It was a long walk and you made it eventually. Finally you see orange light shining on your face.
The village was full of people. Children dressed up as well as adults. Peering into windows you saw fashion portrayed in paintings and jewelry Yoongi only showed you from books of art. You ran a hand down the window but was pulled from it as you felt a touch on your shoulder.
There was a woman, her face framed by brown hair pulled into a bun. Stray hairs fell down her face. She was a tad bit older, but not too old. “Hi, were you looking at the jewelry in there?” She asked smiling. You nodded and she nodded with you giggling. “You don't talk much huh? It's alright, I was asking because I was going to buy it for you.”
Clearing your throat you finally spoke up, “Really?” You exclaimed excitedly. She nodded and pulled you into the shop.
“Choose anything I don't mind.” She says looking at the wall of fancy jewelry. “I have no one to spend it on so why not you…” Finally you choose one silver necklace with a diamond pendant in the center. Your plan was to give it to Yoongi, as a sort of thank you. It would also double as a apology for leaving when you eventually did come back. e woman purchased it and smiled taking you out of the store.
A gush of wind made you shiver and the woman gasped. “You're freezing, come on. I'll give you something to eat and get you warmed up.” You didn't know why but you followed behind the woman as she led you to her small quaint home in the village. You enter and are welcomed by a fireplace.
It was something you never felt nor seen your entire life, even if it was as small as it was. “Go sit by the fire while I go heat up some soup.” The woman says ushering you to go sit by the fire. You do, the warmth making everything feel better. It was bright and brilliant as Yoongi would've said.
You were passed a bowl of chicken noodle soup. It had vegetables and overall smelled delicious. The woman passed you a spoon and draped a blanket over you. Yoongi taught you to how use utensils, so you were familiar as you began to eat. “Good isn't it? I'm Sarah by the way, Sarah Paulson, the towns widow or whatever they want to fucking call me.” Sarah said making you gasp. Her language made you laugh yet also made you amused. Yoongi usually only spoke like that during sex or under his breath.
Was never for you to pay attention to nor recite
“What's a widow?” You ask eating more. Sarah seemed more than happy to have someone to talk too. She sat down on the couch, becoming even more comfortable.
“Well, a widow is someone whose husband or lover has died. It's mainly the villages women trying to make fun of me. But I say hey, if I'm a widow than I'm a widow.” Sarah exclaimed. “What about you? What's your name and slash or title?”
That made you think. You knew your name but what were you. After telling you your name, you went quiet. “I don't think I have a title. Except for what Yoongi calls me.”
“Wait like Min Yoongi? The one that lives in the mansion out of town?” Sarah asks looking at you with a inquisitive eye. You nod slowly and she looks away looking out the window. “Oh you poor thing. You don't even know the half of it do you?”
You shake your head no looking at Sarah. “W-What? You have to tell me.”
“Yoongi he… he stopped coming into town a while ago. He was caught digging up corpses, he went to me as he lost his lover and wanted some common ground with someone who understood him.” Sarah started but you cut her off.
“But, I'm his lover. He told me I was his one and only…” You say frantically.
“He had another, no one saw her though. He kept her in that mansion for fucks sake. He wanted to try and revive my husband, Mr Paulson. But I told him no…” Sarah trailed off and took a look at your neck and arms. She let out a quiet gasp as she moved to sit next to you. She ran a thumb over one of the stitches. “You're her… his creation.”
You furrowed your brows and looked at Sarah with concerned eyes. “I- What? What are you talking about? I'm his love, no I'm not-”
“You're a bunch of body parts… God I'm so sorry… your brain. He must've had to throw out your old one… he kept going at it. He kept running the experiment to revive Mrs Min.” Sarah said bringing you in for a hug. You quickly hugged her back crying into her shoulder. But she pulled away so you could look at her. “He's going to come looking… and I don't want you to get hurt. Yoongi is crazy… and you need to hide.”
A loud set of bangs were heard from her front door. Sarah covered you in the blanket and bent down to whisper. “Lay down and don't move, I'm going to try and save you.” Sarah said and you listened. You trusted her, but you couldn't see Yoongi as a violent man. But finding out all you now knew you couldn't risk it.
You heard the door open and feet moving into the home further. “Where did you put her?” You heard a voice that was similar to Yoongis speak up.
“Put who? Don't tell me you've found a new lover. Did you remarry Mr. Min?” Sarah said, keeping her tone respectful. She kept away from the living room where you laid on the ground.
“Don't play dumb. You are the only one I told about her.” Yoongis voice raised and you heard more steps being took away from you and towards where the first set stopped. You started to slowly move, one limb at a time, to under the couch.
“Well yes, but I didn't even know you succeeded in your experiment. Congratulations on that but you'd trust the people who rat you out about the body snatching?” Sarah came back stepping away and moving in a circle to the front of the couch. “Besides quiet rude entering my house this way, don't you think?”
“Rude my ass, I know she's in here. If there's anything those people want is to get me away from them. So they'll lead me in a direction to where I don't have to talk to them and I'm not going to be mad with them. So that leads to you.” Yoongis voice raised as he stood in front of the couch towering over Sarah. “So I'll ask one final time, where is she?”
“Get out of my ho-”
BANG!
You covered your mouth as the sound of a revolver echoed from within the home. You felt your cheeks grow wet.
“Where are you my love? I'm not mad I promise, it's okay I knew this would happen.” There it was, that sweet voice that was always coated in honey to coax you successfully. You moved from under the couch and let the blanket fall from your head. Yoongis face was covered in Sarah's blood as he gasped pulling you in for a hug. He kissed your head and lips, hands on your cheeks. “I was worried sick!”
“W- I'm… what ju-” You were cut off as you felt the necklace you brought earlier being pulled from your hand.
“Is this for me?” You nodded. “Thank you baby… this is beautiful my love.” He put it on and smiled at you keeping his thumb on your cheek. You kept stuttering though, confused and unaware of what just happened to you. “Shhh, it's okay just stay with me from now on okay? I can keep you safe, forever.” Yoongi said keeping your head faced away from the half bloodied mess that he made of Sarah's head.
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purpleyoonn · 1 year
Text
Doughnuts and Shell Casings 2
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one shot series // part 2 of 3
summary: you finally gather the courage to leave your routine and do something different. your expectations are blown out of the water as you meet your soulmates in a less-than-expected way.
genre: soulmate au, bts au, mafia au, poly au,
pairing: mafia bts x innocent reader
warnings: robberies/break-ins, kidnapping, allusions to murder, bruises, mafia bangtan, weapon use, very touchy bangtan, protective bangtan, possessive bangtan,
permanent taglist: @m1sss1mp​​ @yourleftsock​​ @skyys-universe​​ @cryingpages​​ @strxwbloody​​  @drissteele​​ @dustyinkpages​​ @iamkookiesforyou​​ @crushedblackroses​​ @fluffy-canada-pancakes​​ @blaaiissee​​  @iiitsmaria​​  @carolinexkpop​​  @azazel-nyx​​ @strawberry-moonpies​​ @g-h-o-s-t-b-a-b-i​​ @knjkitten​​ @kleirielk​ @foreverweareyoung7​​ @lachimolala22019​​ @namuficxs​​ @94z-93​​ @kimgmzmc​​ @thenaverse​​ @dahliasbouqet​​ @black-rose-29​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @take-u-2-an0ther-w0r1d​​ @stellauniverse​​ @stupendouscookiehumanmug​​ @tinyoonsblog​​ @veronawrites​​ @tatyhend​​ @singukieee​​ @m0v3m3ntsblog​​ @sidthesloth1305​​  @exfolitae​​ @butterymin​​ @queen-in-the-shadows​ 
masterlist // one-shot masterlist // part 1
———————————————–
It was Friday morning, meaning it was your turn for the normal errands. This time, it actually meant getting more safety enclosures and items for the café and for your own apartment. You had been unsurprisingly shaken and uncomfortable being alone since the incident at the restaurant a couple weeks back.
This meant you had spent the past couple weeks either staying in the studio apartment above the café, or with the girls in their home. You hadn’t been back to your own apartment besides the first night when you went with Jeongyeon and Mina to get some clothes and other necessities. The girls were fine with this, and even encouraged it, Tzuyu saying it would be like having a big sleepover.
But unfortunately for you, today would be one where you venture out alone. Chaeyoung and Momo were supposed to be going with you but Chae got called in to retake an exam she missed in the midst of the restaurant incident and Momo had a family emergency. 
This meant you were walking out of the house alone accompanied by the small canister of pepper spray Nayeon had bought for you that went on your little keychain.
“Okay, Y/n, you can do this.” You mutter to yourself, trying to hype yourself up as you walk down the front steps and onto the sidewalk. 
You didn’t have a car, nor did you see yourself needing one. You and the girls both lived in neighborhoods that were close to the café and the girls’ school along with a bunch of shops and other necessities. It was nice for days like this, where you needed the fresh air, but also awful because you didn’t want to be alone right now.
You had your small backpack on your back along with your keys and phone in your jacket pockets, your beanie keeping your head warm on the cold morning. The hardware shop was only a couple blocks away, and you hoped that you were walking fast enough to make it before it got super busy.
Ever since the restaurant, a lot of people and businesses were taking the precautions to up their own security and were taking the steps you were now. You planned to get a good alarm system for the café, one that included a camera aimed at the entrances and the exits, including the cafes back exit you used for shipments. 
You were also going to buy a couple of deadbolts for the café and for your own home. You weren’t allowed to get any system that had a camera at your apartment, the manager claiming it infringed upon the privacy of the other residents.
Nayeon and Jeongyeon got really mad at that one.
By the time you made it to the hardware store, you were already shaking. Every time you had gone somewhere, even with the girls, you always felt eyes on you. This time was no different even if you could never figure out where the feeling was coming from.
“Good morning! Welcome into Ace Hardware. Is there anything we can help you with today?” The front clerk asked as soon as the doors opened to the store, you walk inside and wiping off your boots.
You shake your head as you grabbed one of the little baskets by the door, thanking them before making your way to where you knew the security hardware was located. Dahyun had gone with you the other day to look at all of the options, her phone on speaker with Nayeon and Jihyo as you perused.
You noticed it was pretty quiet as you looked for the items on your list. It was kind of nice as you didn’t have any distractions to deter you from finding everything on your list. It took you some time, but once you had everything in your little basket, you began to make your way to the front.
You didn’t know where your mind went, but you looked down every aisle you passed as you moved to the front of the store, every aisle empty as you walked. You narrowed your eyebrows, the little voice in the back of your head telling you to run, that something was seriously wrong… and boy, do you wish you listened to it.
Instead of dropping your things and leaving, you stepped up to the counter, where the man from before stood, leaning against the counter and watching your every move.
‘Uhm, hello. I just need these.” You spoke up, voice proud your voice didn’t waver as you placed your basket up onto the counter. The man nodded, eyes on you as he scanned your items.
“I don’t think you’ll need these.” He was blunt, shrugging his shoulders as he pressed enter on his keyboard to continue the transaction.
“Excuse me?” You weren’t sure you heard him correctly.
“I said you won’t need these.” Your eyebrow quirked at his words, at his own nonchalance.
“Well, I’m not sure who you are to tell me if I need these or not.” You watched his lips grow into a grin, making you step back into a body you didn’t know had shown up.
You jump as you back into the man, turning to say you were sorry when you look up. It was one of the men from the restaurant, the one who killed the owner and the employee in front of you. Eyes widening, you try to move away only for his arms to snake around your waist and turn you around so your back was pressed against his front.
“Hello, baby. Did you miss me?” You could feel his warm breath on the back of your neck as he moved your hair away from your back, his nose pressing against your pulse point as you try not to cry. The cashier leans over the counter and wipes away a tear, his thumb pressing into your cheek as you try to move away.
“I meant; you won’t need these measly measures of protection when you have us.” His words brush against your cheek as he moves in, not caring that you flinch as his lips press against the skin he pressed his thumb into.
As he moves back across the counter, he shoves your items onto the floor and slides across the counter, standing in front of you.
“Alright, where are the other two?” He brings his hand up to caress your jaw as he speaks, the man holding you still pressing his nose against your pulse point as he rubs down your sides.
“Probably in the back…” His lips brush against your neck as he speaks, his words tapering off with some insinuation that you don’t understand. The man in front of you only nods, gesturing to something behind you as he moves off to the side and through one of the aisles.
You try to take this as an opportunity to leave, your hands going to the ones on your side and yanking them off you, only to make it three feet away and being yanked back into their embrace.
“Aww, little one, that hurts my feelings.” He pulled you back over to the counter, moving one hand up your abdomen and to your neck, like the other man, but instead he brought his hand to cover the expanse of your neck, tilting your head back to rest on his shoulder.
“That’s not very nice of you.” Footsteps make their way to where you and the man from the restaurant were; a slight chuckle leaving the new person.
“Jimin-ah, not here.” The man, Jimin, laughs as he kisses your temple.
His grip loosens on your neck, letting your head fall forward a little to see the man before, his blonde hair now a little messed up as he holds a couple things in his hand.
“I see V had his fun.” Jimin smirks at his hyung, noticing his swollen lips and messed up hair. The man only smirks as he moves to stand in front of you again.
“Sorry about this, kitten. Can’t have you trying to run.” Your eyes widen at his words as he holds up some rope and a sack. You shake your head, pleading with them. They both just look down at you with pity as Jimin ties your hands up and the man, Yoongi, places the sack over your head.
“Take her to the car.” The man’s words were sharp, leaving no room for arguments as Jimin pushes you to walk, hands on your hips as he guides you outside. You stumble as you make it out the doors, his grip tightening on you.
“We can’t have you hurting yourself, can we.” His words shake you even more, your body tense and your hands clenched into fists as you dig your fingernails into your palm.
You knew you weren’t getting out of this.
The feeling in your body told you that you were done for.
“Here we go…” Jimin muttered as he walked you up to the van, opening the sliding door and picking you up, grinning at the gasp that leaves your lips as he jumps into the van, closing the door behind him and pulling you onto his lap, securing the seatbelt over the both of you.  
You were silent, not wanting to make a sound and make anyone angry. You had no clue who these people were, but you knew they were capable of anything if you go by what happened at the restaurant. You had no clue if they would hurt you, but you wouldn’t put it past them.
So, you remained silent and still.
The feeling of his hand rubbing up and down your jean covered thigh made you want to vomit, even more so as your body started to relax against him against your own volition. You held back a sob as the doors opened, voices joining the silence as the vehicle started.
“How is she Jiminie?” A familiar voice asked the man under you.
“Tense. I think our baby is scared.” Jimin’s voice was teasing, his hand squeezing your thigh a little bit before going back to rubbing circles.
“Aww, baby. There is no need to be scared. We’ll keep you safe.” The familiar voice coos at you, a presence moving next to you and another hand resting on your other thigh.
The rest of the car ride consisting of twists and turns that last longer than ten minutes, you tried counting but lost track after Jimin started pressing kisses to your shoulder; you cried. You managed to hold your sobs in, managed to keep silent as you listened to the men talking and joking around.
You could only see a bit of light through the sack over your head, and you knew for sure your wrists were bruised from the rope as you held them to your chest. Your body was starting to ache from how tense you were, your shoulders almost reaching your ears.
The feeling of the vehicle slowing down and stopping caught your attention, only for everything to move quickly once the doors opened. You were being picked up again, a silent gasp leaving your lips as the person holding you moves quickly.
You were becoming numb to everything, your mind trying to protect you from what it thinks could happen. Different scenarios filling your head as you tried to slow your racing heart. It doesn’t work as you feel the man sitting you down on something soft, someone moving to sit behind you and trap you between their legs, your back being pressed to their chest.
Soon enough the sack was being removed from over your head, your hair moving into your face as you struggle to take a deep breath in, suddenly feeling as though you were suffocating.
The person behind you starts to coo, their hands moving, one to wrap around your body and rest on your stomach and the other to brush your hair away from your face. When your vision clears, you see six men, all in various positions, resting in front of you. Your eyes, however, immediately move to the one who stands in front of you, only a couple of feet from where you sit.
You grow uncomfortable under their stares, well, even more uncomfortable than you already were. You begin to squirm in your seat, forgetting that you were trapped in someone’s embrace as their groan reaches your ears, causing you to freeze.
A deep chuckle leaves Namjoon’s lips as he watches you freeze against Jimin. His smile growing as he watches you eye him, as if trying to see if he would do anything to you. Oh, he thinks, the things he would love to do to you.
“Why am I here? What do you want with me?” Namjoon’s eyebrow raises as he hears you ask, your voice unwavering as you try to show no fear. You were impossibly cute, entirely innocent and he knew you were perfect for them.
“Baby girl. You’re too cute.” Jin can’t help but to coo, his words making your shoulders tense up again. You couldn’t understand why these men wanted you, nor why they kept calling you pet names. You saw the men nod their heads, saying their own agreements, ignoring you and your words.
“Answer me!” You shout, trying to remain confident despite the way you were trapped against the man behind you.
“Oohh, looks like our baby has a bite.” One of the men jokes out, making the men all laugh again as your cheeks burn red. Looking away from the men, not wanting to give them any satisfaction of your own annoyance.
To your further annoyance, the one holding you, who you assume to be Jimin, puts his hand on your neck again and turns your head back to face the room again. His thumb rubbing against the side of your jaw in mock comfort.
“You hold something important to us.” The main in the middle, right in front of you, finally speaks up, his voice silencing the others. The room turns from a goofy atmosphere to a silent, serious one, everyone looking at you.
“I—what?” That was absurd, confusion ringing through your ears as you subconsciously relax against Jimin.
Suddenly, the ropes tying your wrists together were being untied. Hands replacing them and holding your hands to your chest, Jimin’s thumbs rubbing circles into the skin of your now really bruised wrist.
“You have something important to us.” The man repeats himself.
“Look, I don’t have any money. I don’t have anything of value. Please.” You couldn’t think. What did you have of importance to them? You didn’t have any money or valuables; the café was doing well but not enough to really by robbed.
“That’s not what he means, baby.” One of the men from the restaurant speaks up, the same one who yelled at the owner not to touch you. His voice was softer this time, the lip piercing glinting in the small bit of sunlight peaking through the windows.
“C’mon little one, why don’t you show him your wrist, hmm?” Jimin coos from behind you, ending his words with a kiss to your now exposed shoulder, your shirt and jacket falling off your shoulder from being manhandled.
You held your wrists tighter to your chest, wincing as he moves his lips up your neck and to your ear, dragging the lobe between his lips and pulling on it.
“There is nothing on my wrist.” You mumble out, hoping they would drop whatever game they were trying to play with you. This wasn’t funny anymore. Nothing made sense. You figured you managed to walk into another burglary at the hardware store, but they didn’t carry in any bags, no evidence of any weight being dropped while you were in the car.
Why would they take you, but leave the money from the store behind?
“Oh. Joonie-ah, did you hear that? Our little mate thinks we’re nothing.” Another man coos, the blonde cashier from the store who obviously wasn’t a cashier. He grins at you, watching as your eyes widen and dart to their names on your wrist.
Kim SJ
Min YG
Jung HS
Kim NJ
Park JM
Kim TH
Jeon JK
The seven names that have been driving you crazy since they appeared on your wrist when you turned thirteen. Despite his teasing tone, your entire body froze, dread and confusion filling your body as his words sink in.
“Don’t believe us, kitten?” At his next words, everyone turns their wrists to you, showing you their own soulmarks. Jimin’s own wrist is turned upwards, your name at the bottom of his own mark. Your hand moves slowly, your pointer finger moving to trace the outline of your name.
“What…?” Your words were a whisper as everything seemed to hit you at once. Why they were so intent on taking care of you at the restaurant, the smiles as they saw your blood covered soul mark.
You barely felt as Jimin moved you around, adjusting you in his lap as his lips placed themselves on the nape of your neck.
“It was fate. We went in for a job, planning on killing everyone inside when that employee was killed in front of you, his hands on yours. We knew before we walked in, seeing your mark from outside as we moved past the window. Plans changed.” Jimin narrated, his voice soft as he remembered seeing your mark through the window as they walked past and into the building.
“We wanted to take you then and there, seeing how unprotected you were, but we knew we couldn’t leave any witnesses. We knew you cared about your friends, seeing how you tried to protect them. We needed a plan.” Taehyung spoke this time, eyes narrowed at your shaky form as you just stared at Jimin’s wrist.
“We’ve been watching you the entire time, making sure our baby was safe. We followed you and you friend, Dahyun, to the hardware store and when you didn’t walk out with anything, we knew you would go back. And thus began our plan to bring you home.” Jungkook’s tone was angry, still upset that you felt you needed useless items to protect you when you had them.
You looked up when they were done talking, eyes soft and unmoving as you felt yourself becoming light. The pieces were connecting. The eyes you felt on your every move had never felt uncomfortable or fearful, just weird. It made sense why you felt so safe within the past week, and not because you were with your friends. Why you felt safe enough to leave the house so much, despite never really feeling the need to before.
You were inadvertently being protected and watched by your soulmates.
You were being watched and protected by men who were criminals by career, maybe even men for hire judging by the way they carried themselves.
And you had never felt safer in your life than when you were in the arms of the man who killed the restaurant staff and caused you and your friends such trauma and turmoil.
“Oh…” Was the only thing to leave your lips, words not being supported within your brain right now as you trace your name on Jimin’s wrist, not noticing the way his eyes roll back into his skull at the feeling of your fingers on him.
-*-*-
“Now, darling, why don’t we show you to our room?” Namjoon speaks up after everyone finally introduced themselves.
You had become completely relaxed in their presence now, not flinching or hiding away when one of them came up to you or touched you. In fact, it seemed like you were leaning into their touch, seeking it out as you walked next to Yoongi as they lead you to their shared room.
Well, now your shared room.
It was customary for mates to start sharing a bed once they found each other. It helps to keep the bond active, to keep everyone from going through withdrawals from distance. Sickness and aches were not uncommon for mates who have some distance between them, especially in the beginning of the bond connecting.
Namjoon led you all down a long hallway, only three doors residing along the walls. The last one on the right held the symbol for the group within the wood of the door. A slight push against the wood had it opening to reveal a large room. 
A custom-made bed, big enough to fit ten, was placed against the far right wall, a curtain canopy attached to the side frame and headboard. On either side of the bed was a nightstand and at the foot of the bed held a two-seater couch with cushions you felt you could fall into.
Opposite the bed was a large dresser and a door that you think leads to the closet. To the left of the bed was another door, opened already to give you a peak of the bathroom. The room was entirely spacious and had you never wanting to leave.
“Do you like it, baby?” Jin’s arms wrapped around you, pulling you into his chest as he rested his chin on your shoulder. You nodded your head, too in awe for you to come up with a coherent answer.
His breath on your neck had you taking a breath in, trying to regulate yourself. The feeling of his fingers gripping onto your waist had tingles shooting down your spine. You could suddenly feel every part of your eldest mate pressed against you, the warmth of him sending your own warmth straight to your core.
You clenched your thighs together hoping no one noticed your growing arousal and desire as Jin walked you forward and deeper into the room instead of standing in the open doorway.
But they noticed.
Yoongi and Jungkook walked over to the bed, leaning against the long metal framing holding up the canopy.
“Why don’t you come feel how comfy the bed is. I know I always hate leaving the bed in the mornings.” Yoongi gestured for you to come forward, Jin reluctantly letting go of you.
“More like you never want to leave the bed.” He muttered to himself, getting a pinch on his ass from Namjoon who was standing behind him.
“Okay.” You mutter as you make your way to the large bed, seeing just how comfy it looked up closely. You can even see how soft the blankets look, the fabric practically calling your name as you bring your hand out to press on the mattress, testing it out before turning around to sit on it.
Tentatively, you watch their reactions as you move to lay back on the bed, not wanting to make anyone feel awkward as you lay in their bed. While you are their mate, you can’t help but to overthink. Do they even want you in their bed? They did say this was your room as well now, but did they mean it?
“You are very tempting, darling.” Jin’s eyes roamed up and down your figure, loving the way your thighs practically flattened against his blankets. You noticed the glint in his eyes darken as they caught sight of your lower half. He looked at you with lidded eyes, catching your surprise. You just shrug his words off, not really believing them.
Taehyung watched as you looked away from Jin, sitting back up on the edge of the bed. In the time he has been watching you, he could tell you were self-conscious about yourself, not believing any of the compliments any of your friends or customers had given you.
He quirked his eyebrow at Jimin, who had also observed this little thing of yours. They had already talked about this with each other, which is why Jimin had been so hands on with you. He couldn’t help it, Jimin’s love language was physical touch. He literally could not go minutes without touching one of his mates.
They would make sure their sweet little mate knew how loved she was…even if someone had to die to make it known.
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gimmethatagustd · 2 years
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listen. oh queen of life-ruining banter. i come to you on my knees because i require frenemies hatefucking with tae. featuring all the banter. and him being a menace. no this is not self-indulgent at all wdym sdlfjsldkfj - congrats again on your milestone :')))
WANNA FUCK ON CAMERA | KTH
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You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s hipster, wannabe-photographer ass. You’re so tired of Kim Taehyung’s stupid smile and stupid jokes and stupid way of getting under your skin and sticking in your brain.  
» pairing: taehyung x reader
» genre: BTS | 18+ | frenemies to lovers | smut
» wc/date: 3.3k | July 2022
» warnings: fingering | nudes (ig??) | unprotected vaginal sex | spit | tae is annoying
» notes: I’M SO SORRY THIS ENDED UP JUST BEING A FULL FUCKING PWP ONE SHOT KJDKFHS also i def didn’t proofread this enough so sorry 🥴
» masterlist | ao3 | send me ur thots 👅
» what was jai listening to? camera - dj drama ft. 1st fkl, lil uzi vert, mac miller, & post malone
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The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist
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If Kim Taehyung placed his grimy hands on the small of your back one more time you were quite literally going to rip them off. 
“Babe, we didn’t take a picture together yet.” Before you could react, there was a bright flash of light that formed black holes in your vision. A sleek film camera was the culprit. Not unfamiliar, you’d fallen victim to Taehyung’s “artistic endeavors” on more than one occasion. 
“Babe?” 
Your spotty eyes grew wide as you quickly turned back to the large man stuck in between you and Taehyung. You’d caged him into the corner of the living room away from the rest of the bustling bodies crowding the apartment you shared with Hoseok. From the moment your roommate introduced you to Namjoon at the start of the party, you were on a mission to get a good grip of his head in between your thighs. 
“No, no, no,” you shook your head, waving your arms in an “X” to ward off Taehyung’s evil. “We are not like that, at all. Gross, no. I don’t even know why he’s over here.” You hissed that last part with gritted teeth and shoved an elbow into Taehyung’s ribs. 
“We came to this party together, babe. What are you talking about?” Taehyung’s mouth morphed into a deep pout. Your’s, on the other hand, hung open like a fish. 
“Excuse me? This is my fucking apartment!”
You watched with growing frustration as Taehyung’s pout curved into a sweet smile. He was an abscess aching your teeth.  “Babe, you’re so cute when you joke around.” 
“Ummm… I think I’m going to go.” 
You both turned to look at the large man stuck in between you. He avoided both of your gazes; instead, his gentle eyes searched the depths of the room, looking for a way out. 
“Namjoon, wait,” You reached out to grab his forearm, “Just ignore him, he’s an idiot.” 
Namjoon gave you a soft, tight smile. “It’s okay, I don’t want to bother you.” He didn’t give you a second glance once he disappeared deeper into the apartment. 
You spun around on your heel and jabbed your finger against Taehyung’s chest. “Listen here, TaTa. If you don’t stop cockblocking me all fucking night, I swear to God.” 
“You swear to God what? What are you going to do?” Taehyung cocked his head to one side and you hated how hot it was to watch his bottom lip disappear between his teeth. He raised his eyebrows at you, tilting his head back a bit so he looked at you down the sharp bridge of his cute little freckled nose. 
He knew you wouldn’t do anything. There was nothing for you to do. 
He was such a piece of shit. 
“Why did Hobi invite you,” you muttered, pushing past Taehyung. You made very little ground before he was snatching your wrist in his large hands. “Can you please leave me alone? I’m not drunk enough for your shit right now.” 
“Let me get my beautiful model a drink, then.” 
“You are the most arrogant, conceited, cockiest person I have ever met in my entire life.” The grin that bloomed across his face was the exact opposite of what you wanted to see, but everything your body was being pulled towards. 
“Thank you.” 
With a huff, you shook your hand from Taehyung’s grip and continued swimming your way through the sea of people trashing your apartment. Leave it to Hobi to throw a massive party to celebrate “the beginning of his birthday month” without bothering to ask you. When he knew you hated most of his friends, Kim Taehyung in particular. How he’d managed to wiggle his way into your friend group was beyond you. Probably because he was hot, and hot people could get away with everything. 
Well, you didn’t think he was hot, obviously. Other people did. Not you. Nope. 
“Do not follow me.” You threw the command over your shoulder, praying to the lord that he would grow a brain and listen to you. Breaking free of the last throng of people, you walked the hallway until you got to your bedroom, Taehyung hot on your heels. You tried to slam your bedroom door shut but Taehyung had the toe of his boot wedged in the doorframe. He wrapped a hand around the edge of the door and pried it open just enough to slip his lithe body inside. The click of him locking the door made your spine shudder. 
“You’re so fucking stupid, Kim. Why don’t you go find someone to suck your dick and keep your nose out of my business? I’ll even let you use my bathroom.” Arms crossed against your chest. Chin jutted out. 
Taehyung snickered, keeping his focus on wiping away a smudge mark on the surface of his camera lens. “Bothering you gives me infinite more pleasure, believe it or not.” He looked up to meet your gaze. “And you know how much I love chasing pleasure.” 
By this point your anger was hardly well-contained. As you flipped through every scenario in your head you were finding fewer options to get him out of here. Murder may have been the only option, actually. 
“God I love how hot you look when you’re pissed.” Taehyung had the audacity to sit down on the edge of your bed, his long legs spreading like the space-hogging man that he was. 
“Take a fucking picture then. It’ll last longer.” 
“Ooh, you’re so clever, so edgy.” Despite his taunts, he did what you said, quickly snapping another picture of you. You flipped him off. “Glad you’ve finally agreed to model for me. How do you feel about nudes?” 
“Get the fuck out of here.” 
“Not even just a topless one?” 
“I would never, in a million years, even if my life depended on it, get any amount of naked in front of you.” 
“That sounds like a fun challenge, doesn’t it?” He got up from your bed, leaving the camera to rest on your fluffy comforter. His amber eyes dropped to watch your lips, the edges of his own lips curling slightly when you backed up against your dresser. A bottle of hair product tipped over and rolled off the dresser, thudding against the floor. 
“It’s not a challenge, Taehyung. It’s merely a fact.” 
“Look at what you’re wearing. You’re already halfway there.” Taehyung shrugged. He ran his index finger along the skin of your midriff exposed by your crop top. Reaching your belly button, he dragged his finger downwards until he landed on the zipper of your shorts. “Don’t act like you’re not desperate. The way you were hanging all over that guy said enough.” 
“Fuck off,” you said in an exhale. You made no effort to push him out of the way; this was one of many mistakes. 
“Hmm…” You practically felt the baritone vibration of Taehyung contemplating your comment, the hum rumbling from his throat. “Okay.” He took a step back and sunk onto your bed with his camera resting beside him. 
“What do you mean, okay?” You closed the gap he’d created and stared down at him with your hands on your hips. “You can’t just say okay.” 
The tiniest of smirks lifted the corner of Taehyung’s mouth, but he held it in as best he could. Controlling his eyes was another thing; he let his gaze travel the length of your body. “Am I not giving you what you wanted?” 
“Well, yes.” 
“Then what’s the problem?” 
You opened your mouth, but immediately snapped it shut. Taehyung leaned back on his palms with his broad chest on display and his legs spread. How had you ended up standing between them? He tilted his head up slightly jutting his chin out at you while his eyes continued to examine you. Dissect you. His gaze felt razor sharp on your searing skin. 
“Just admit it. You want me. It’s obvious how I affect you.” You felt your stomach flip as Taehyung ran his fingers through his hair, though a few curls decided to bounce back over his forehead. “One simple kiss and you’d be begging for me.” 
You absolutely did not want him. Had you thought about what those piercing eyes would look like from between your thighs? Maybe. But who hadn’t?! It was a natural consequence of being “friends” with Taehyung.
“You’re an idiot.” Another glare was shot his way when the stupid smirk returned. 
“Prove it then. Prove you don’t care.” 
If there was anything you hated more than this idiot, it was being doubted. Fuck this guy for wasting your time, invading your space, and then insulting you in your own house. 
“If you tell anyone about this I’ll cut your balls off,” you hissed. 
“I’m so scared,” Taehyung said with a lick of his lips. You wanted to smack that mischievous glint out of his eyes. Hell, you should have. But instead you were determined to knock him off his high horse. If you weren’t going to get into a physical altercation, you were going to fuck up his ego. 
Shoving Taehyung backwards so he was once again leaning on his palms, you climbed into his lap with your hands gripping his shoulders. Before he could say anything else stupid, you brought your lips to his and tried not think about how many things had been in his mouth. 
It was clear that Taehyung was trying to prove a point because he immediately began to devour you. His hands flew up to grip your ass to pull you tight against him, making your hands slide forward so you now had your arms wrapped around his shoulders. Biting down on your bottom lip he coaxed your mouth open to slip his tongue inside. You shivered at the taste of him, sweet like the grapefruit soju he’d been drinking. Distracted by him licking at your mouth, you gasped when you felt Taehyung buck into you. He forced your hips to rock against him and spread your thighs even further apart as you straddled him. 
Eventually Taehyung broke the kiss and you welcomed the opportunity to breathe. His lips ghosted yours, the two of you panting heavily against each other’s mouths. He kept a firm hold of your ass while he guided you to continue grinding against the growing bulge in his jeans. Every drag of his zipper against your core provided enough friction to alert you that you were soaked through your underwear. All because of a guy you’d swore you weren’t affected by. 
The reminder of why this was even fucking happening made you let go of Taehyung’s shoulders and lean back slightly. What the fuck. 
“You did that way too eagerly,” he snickered once you pulled away.
“Shut up.” You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair to tug it out of annoyance because apparently Taehyung tore down your maturity level to that of an elementary student. The moan that came out of his mouth made you freeze. He stared into your eyes with his soft lips parted and all you could hear was his erratic breathing and the pounding of your heart in your head. “Looks like you’re affected by me.”
As if you weren’t an absolute mess in your pants right now. But he didn’t need to know that. 
“I never said I wasn’t.” The intensity of his gaze was too much for you, but looking away felt like surrendering. “Are you going to admit defeat now?” 
“You’re insane,” you scoffed, determined to hold his gaze. 
Taehyung broke first. He let go of your waist and brought his hand forward to press his thumb hard against your clit through your shorts. You instinctively tightened your hold on his hair, tugging slightly. The action pulled another moan out of Taehyung and it was impossible for you to hide the way you grinded against his hand. 
“You want me. Just admit it.” 
“No,” you snapped. Taehyung raised his eyebrows as though he was shocked by your determination. You were not giving in, no matter what your body wanted. 
Even if he pulled down the zipper of your shorts. Even if he tugged on the waistband of your underwear. Even if he squeezed his hand inside your underwear to drag his fingers through your arousal. 
“Admit it.” 
Your breath hitched when you heard the wet squelch of Taehyung teasing your entrance and rolling his fingers against your clit. You couldn’t speak for fear a moan instead of words might fall out of your mouth, so you merely shook your head. 
Wrapping his other arm around your waist, Taehyung bucked into you at the same time he slipped two fingers inside of you. The force with which you bit your bottom lip to keep quiet was enough to shoot pain through your nerves. Seeing you like that and feeling your thighs tremble against his told Taehyung everything he needed to know. 
But he wanted you to say it. 
“Come on, Y/N,” he cooed a soft whisper in your ear. He curled his fingers, pressing your front wall until he found the spot that made you dig your nails into his biceps. “Just admit it and I’ll give you what you want.” 
He quickened his pace, pumping his fingers in and out of you with enough force to rock you back and forth in his lap, all the while his dark eyes locked on yours. 
“You’re a piece of shit,” you attempted to hiss but your voice broke into a loud whimper. Taehyung grinned and gave you one final thrust into your g-spot before he watched you arch into him, eyes closed and head thrown back as you moaned his name. He leaned back slightly to give him the perfect angle to snatch up his camera. You thought the bright light was probably the most intense orgasm you’ve ever felt in your life quite literally making you blind, but your pleasure quickly turned into a pterodactyl screech. 
“KIM TAEHYUNG WHAT THE FUCK!” You lunged for the camera, but he held it above your head and your legs were still too shaky to do much of anything. “Did you just fucking take a picture of me while I… while I…” You beat against his chest. 
“You looked too good not to immortalize the moment,” Satan himself said with a laugh, absorbing your punches with the cockiness of the most horrible person in the world. “If you want to try for a better shot, I still have five photos left on this film.” 
“I’m going to fucking murder you.” 
“Sure, you can murder me. I’ll die happy now.” You felt weak in the knees once again when Taehyung popped his fingers, wet with your cum, into his mouth to suck clean. “Or you could admit that you want me and I’ll split you open the way you deserve.” 
Fuck. 
You were in big trouble. 
Taehyung’s cocky grin disappeared as you eased back down into his lap, replaced with a look of determined lust that clouded his lidded eyes. At this point, it wasn’t about admitting that he turned you on or that you wanted him. At this point, you needed him. 
“Say it and I’m yours,” he whispered. Goosebumps bloomed across your skin as he ran his hands up your sides, pushing your crop top up as he went. You lifted your arms to allow him to pull it off of you. He sucked his teeth when he realized you weren’t wearing a bra and immediately brought his mouth to your nipple. You let out a soft moan when Taehyung flicked his tongue against it, swirling a circle until it was erect and he was satisfied enough to move to the other. 
“Fuck you, Taehyung.” You clawed at his t-shirt, less gentle in your approach as you ripped it over his head. Next your fingers flew to unbutton his jeans. “I admit it, okay? Are you happy now?” Frustration made your movements frantic and you tugged Taehyung’s pants down as hard as you could, barely giving him time to maneuver around you to lift his hips. 
“Admit what?” He planted a hot kiss against your throat to muffle the deep moan that rumbled in his throat when you finally held his cock in your hand. 
“I need you, fuck!” You shimmied out of your shorts and shoved Taehyung onto his back. “Why are you such a fucking dick?” 
You grabbed his cock a bit too aggressively and Taehyung briefly watched his life flash before his eyes. Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed you so hard. Though he quickly got over it, hips bucking into your hand while he watched you spit on the tip and let it run down his shaft, slow and sweet. 
“Took you long enou-” Taehyung gasped when you rubbed his cock along your pussy, quickly coating him so you could sink onto his cock until your clit rubbed against his abdomen when you leaned forward. The stretch was enough that you probably should have eased yourself onto him a bit slower to avoid the head of his cock piercing your cervix the way it had, but at this point you were too pissed off to give a shit. He lifted his head to watch you roll your hips on him, the twisting sensation making his cock pulse inside you. 
“Holy fuck.” Taehyung dropped his head back onto the mattress and dug his fingers into the sheets as you began to fuck yourself on him. Sure, he’d promised to fuck you good, but you had absolutely no patience for whatever he was willing to give you. You picked up the pace, one hand squeezing his shoulder for support while the other dragged your nails down the length of his chest. You may have dug into him a bit deeper than you needed to, but the red streaks you left on his skin were more than satisfying. 
“Don’t even think about taking a picture of this,” you muttered through clenched teeth. That sweet, hot buildup of pleasure rippling through your abdomen was starting to get more and more unbearable, but you needed to know that the little creep wasn’t going to ruin a good orgasm for you by playing paparazzi again. 
Taehyung whimpered, shaking his head frantically. “I swear, oh fuck. I s-swear I won’t.” 
His babbling was both pathetic and cute, and you prayed he didn’t bust a nut before you got to. To have Kim Taehyung writhing beneath you with that tight little waist and bulging biceps, all to have him cum first?? No fucking way. 
“Good boy,” you snickered and Taehyung practically lost it right there. 
“You’re insane,” he huffed, closing his eyes once he felt you tighten around him. “Fucking insane.” 
You wanted to bitch him out some more because you definitely weren’t the insane one here, as if he hadn’t toyed with you only to immediately give in once you gave him a taste of his own medicine. But you let it go as you felt that sweet buildup in you finally snap. “Fuck, Taehyung,” you moaned, feeling his hands come up to grab your waist to guide you on top of him as he fucked you through your orgasm and your movements began to falter. Thankfully, it didn’t take him long to finally reach his release; you weren’t interested in overstimulation after the sweaty, horny mess he’d made of you. 
Leaning your forehead into his shoulder, you let your body go limp on top of Taehyung as the two of you caught your breath. 
“Don’t fuck with me anymore,” you threatened, though the post-orgasm shakiness of your voice didn’t make you sound very convincing. 
“I can fuck you again, though, right?” 
You lifted your head to see that fucking grin again and groaned, dropping your face into his neck again. “Maybe.” 
“Are you down for nudes next time?” 
“Don’t fucking push your luck, dickhead.” Your body jiggled as Taehyung laughed. There was the cocky Taehyung once again, the one you oh so loved. Something told you if there was a next time you wouldn’t have it so easy. 
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The Wannabe-Photographer Chronicles (mini-series) Masterlist
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all rights reserved © gimmethatagustd on tumblr & ao3
do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my work
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love-lilly02 · 2 months
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BTS: The Challenge
You didn’t talk to them for a week. 
At first it was out of embarrassment. You did feel bad for snapping on them like that, but what were you supposed to do, sit them down in a room and have a nice little chat about boundaries? That wouldn’t really work very well. 
Then it was just because you were conflicted. On the one hand, you didn’t want to risk anything from your past coming back to haunt you. On the other hand… 
The prospect of them knowing even the smallest bit of information about you exited you to no end.
You’d lived a life of secret, hiding things from both your family and your friends, your own parents, if things came down to it. While you did always have your sister, there were just some things you kept to yourself. 
And there were some things that absolutely couldn’t be revealed. For the sake of your reputation and your sanity. 
You chose not to dwell on them. 
Gaz’s message sat unread on your phone, having stayed that way for the past few days. You knew it was an apology, but you didn’t want to forgive them yet. You wanted to stew in your feelings, use the reason to avoid people for a while. To your relief (and disappointment) the others didn’t really take action to confront you, preferring to stay to their own devices.
That couldn’t have been on their own call. 
Again, that same conflict rose inside of you. Why did you want them to care? Why, now if all times, did the idea of someone, multiple someone’s, seeing things you hardly let yourself belive not fill you with immense dread? What had changed?
You’ll find out soon enough. 
AN: this will be a mini series while I work out the events of the next big chapter (definitely not because these are easier and more fun to write), so stay tuned!
My Masterlist
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marknee · 1 year
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bts fanfics i think shakespeare and queen elizabeth i would’ve gossiped about.
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chapter ii. ✷ chapter iv.
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KEYS ON SEVERITY OF SHAKESPEARE’S STATE:
( ✮ ) — you can’t lie, shakespeare’s got a mouth on him.
( ♬ ) — they’ve ordered everyone out the room. peering through the window as we speak.
( ✎ ) — someone tell him to put that poor teacup down.
( ♛ ) — her majesty royally gasped. she’s clutching her pearls, bless her.
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THE SHAKESPEARE SERIES.
WARNING: keep in mind, some of these authors are very strict on the rule that no minors should read their work if they’re underage, and i will honour that. but, at the end of the day, i am not your parent. so, there’s that. but heed my warning wisely. any smut or 18+ content is highlighted in bold.
NOTE: we’re on part three already? damn, times flies. if you’re new here, welcome to the shakespeare series where i write essays about fics that would absolutely annihilate shakespeare — hence the name. if you haven’t read the past two chapters, you can access them in the masterlist above! let’s get into it.
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( ♛ ) MATILDA — by @babystrcandy
!! yoongi x reader | 141.8k !!
brothers best friend au, angst, fluff, eventual smut.
my therapist would absolutely adore this fanfic. maybe i should recommend it to her. or just send her the link. she’d be thrilled.
this series is dedicated to anyone who felt like the second choice, the one always forgotten about, the so-called disappointment, the people pleaser, the perfectionist, the one whose family has let them down over and over again.
reading this, alike reading anything else, transports you to another world. however, the difference between this one and all others, is this makes you feel safe. secure. a safe place. a sanctuary you never realised even existed, where you feel accepted and loved. it takes the idea of home and really drills it in.
if you find yourself relating to this story, like i did, i want to you to know i see you and i truly hope one day you find everything you were deprived of growing up. you deserve peace. you deserve love.
while you’re at it, go give this author some love for seeing us, listening to us, and validating our experiences. and for writing such a beautiful story.
( ♬ ) DILF JK — by @venusiangguk
!! jungkook x reader | 85.5k !!
strangers to lovers, dad!jk, friends with benefits, smut (18+), fluff.
if some army’s weren’t such delulu’s and so consumed by the imaginary idea that they’ll one day marry a bts member and live happily ever after, this is the type of shit we’d actually get. but no, we’re forever plagued by fiction because of a few overly obsessed wankers.
rant aside, dilf!jk is a concept. one that needs to be studied and researched for my own personal needs. because i thought dilf!namjoon was dangerous (and he most certainly is), but dilf!jk is a whole other… thing? being? story? i’ll leave that to the researchers.
personally, i love when authors mould fiction and reality into one body. they blend the two concepts together to create something beautiful, and this was duly noted within the topic of the age gap. deciding on something real for the benefit of both parties in a fictional story is so fucking applaudable. or perhaps i’m just an angsty fucker, sorry.
most definitely worth all the tissues and all the cheek aching. talking from experience.
i mean, it’s got ‘dilf’ in the title, is that not enough? it’s what made me click, anyways. i’m a dilf lover through and through.
( ♬ ) A SERPENT’S FLOWER — by @jimlingss & @dovechim
!! jimin x reader | 34.2k !!
fluff, smut (18+), lil angst, hogwarts!au.
realistically, you knew at some point in this series there would be a harry potter!au thrown in somewhere, didn’t you? i mean, come on now. and i’m so happy this is the first one.
this two-parter and it’s sequel both are both due the respect they deserve. the perfect opposites attract trope? enemies to lovers? with a quick-witted slytherin reader and an even wittier hufflepuff park jimin? fuck me, don’t mind if i do.
i never say a fanfic has everything. but this fanfic has everything. character, romance, humour, angst, wit, the list goes on. it’s a fanfic buffet: it’s got it all, and you just help yourself.
and i realise some people don’t read the sequels to fanfics (i know), but i beg of you. read the sequel too. if anything, i think the sequel was my favourite bit. and i know some people don’t like the pregnancy trope, but i’m telling you there definitely is a time and place for it. and this is the time! and the place! trust me.
did i cry at the end of this fic? i can’t remember. but the probability is higher than i’d like it to be.
( ✮ ) ZERO GRAVITY — by @luxekook
!! namjoon x hoseok x reader | 11k !!
space!au, poly!au, angst, smut (18+), crack, fluff.
if someone doesn’t drop me on a spaceship with two of the hottest men on the planet in the next fortnight, i’m suing. don’t know who that’ll be yet, but some poor sod will have his hands full, that’s for certain.
i love space!au fics with my whole heart and ass. honestly, every time one comes up on my page, i have to save it. it’s a reflex at this point, they’re just too good. you know what is also too good? the built up tension within this fic. jaw-dropping.
i’m not giving out any spoilers, but the author really said, bonk— here is the nastiest smut you’ve ever read in your life. take it, or get fucked. and of course, i took it. but nothing really prepares you for that atmosphere change. not even the sex club was remotely ready. and it’s a sex club.
not going to lie, before writing this essay, i actually went back and read it again, just to make sure i was in the right mind the first time i read it. and yep, sure was. it’s just shocking how insane this fic is.
btw, anyone fancy a visit to throbbing disco sticks? i need a word with the person who came up with the name. and perhaps a kiss too.
( ✎ ) NO CHOICE (NEXT TO YOU) — by @gukyi
!! yoongi x reader | 13k !!
college!au, frat boy!au, neighbour!au, enemies to lovers.
miscommunication. my lover in fanfics, my worst enemy in real life. hence why i love this fic so much. because it’s not real life. (unfortunately).
we’ve all done that thing where we’ve accidentally eavesdropped onto something we shouldn’t of and one thing leads to another and boom, you find yourself misreading the whole situation. and you’re lying if you say you haven’t.
well, that’s this fic for you. times a thousand. honestly, enemies to lovers fics never do me wrong. they’re always a joy to read — the thrill and the very, very prominent sexual tension keeps you excited, waiting on the edge of your seat to see how everything plans out.
my point? this fic never bores you out. read it a thousand times and it still feels like the first. and not a lot of fanfics have that power, i’ll tell you that. a few, yes. but not a lot.
don’t take reading this for the first time for granted. wish i had that privilege. jealous.
( ✎ ) THE PRINCE’S CINDERELLA SYNDROME — by @jimilter
!! jimin x reader | 39.4k !!
cursed!jimin, supernatural!au, strangers to lovers!au angst, smut, fluff.
this fic altered my brain chemistry permanently. there’s no going back. i’m officially ruined, you guys. i don’t even know who i was before i read this. it was just- bang, clean slate.
to begin with, i thought ‘this bitch saw him twice and her knees buckled. what the fuck.’ but then i realised that bitch is me, and the so-called him is referring to thee park jimin, so really. i got it. who wouldn’t absolutely power move it after seeing such a sight? i might just jog a little. sprint on a good day.
i would happily write a five thousand word essay for you on how fucking good this plot slash idea was, and an additional ten thousand on how sad, but i don’t think my fingers— nor my mental state would be able to go through that. not again. please.
but as i mentioned in the last fic above, do not take reading this for the first time for granted. however, only because you will lose all rationality.
shakespeare most definitely plagiarised this fic. he wrote it down and her majesty knows. that’s why he looked so proud of himself at tea. the sneaky fucker. just he wait until i tell @jimilter.
sobbing. again. or is this the fourth time?
( ✎ ) ALWAYS IN MY DREAMS — by @kookskingdom
!! namjoon x reader | 15.4k !!
soulmates!au, fluff, angst, minor character death.
i mean, i already sleep too fucking much. only being able to meet my soulmate through my dreams would just make me comatose. you’d never hear from me. ever.
and yes, you saw the tag. it’s another soulmate!au because everyone knows how much nini loves her hopeless romance. but! who doesn’t. they’re too good to scroll past. so when i finally read this, i knew it was going in the series.
the unknown certainty between the pair of when their next encounter would be with each other, causing them to cherish every single second, that. that’s what i want please. someone who drinks up my existence knowing we will soon part from each other. i cannot.
i love, love, love the concept of soulmates, fate, destiny, whatever. the whole shabang. i bathe in it. so, of course, this fic was a big hit with me. and if that too is your thing, and you love the idea of two souls being intwined inside and out, this is your golden ticket.
@kookskingdom is mentioned in this chapter twice. but can you blame me? you find a ticket to the chocolate factory, of course you’re going to hold onto it as tightly as possible.
( ✮ ) VOICEMAIL — by @joonary
!! seokjin x reader | 7k !!
fluff, humour, friends to lovers, college podcast!au.
you know those dramas where both the two main characters are so completely smitten with each other to the point you’re practically screaming at your screen for them to “just kiss already!” but won’t because they’re hopelessly oblivious, even though everyone is telling them how in love they both are? yeah, that’s this fic. in a nutshell.
though in their defence, i feel i would definitely do the same. but still, does it stop me from getting frustrated with them? no. i was absolutely raging.
this cute story was so, so sweet i was practically clutching the phone for an emergency appointment to the dentist. my teeth were rotting with all the added sugar, like hello? my teeth? but just like chocolate is, it’s addicting. and you can’t stop yourself.
perhaps i’m just a sucker for friends to lovers fics, but this one particularly caught my attention. it’s 5k of pure infuriation, and 2k of fluff.
but so worth the impatience.
( ♬ ) FALL IN HATRED — by @jimlingss
!! seokjin x reader | 20k !!
divorce!au, angst, fluff, smut (18+), marriage!au.
first bullet point is just the thought of fuck me, ‘cause where do i start with this?
separation — in some ways — is the easy way out. you just get up and leave. walk out, whatever. boom, just like that. but the emotional repercussions are what make it so distressing. making that daunting decision to leave something— someone in our past, may be one of the hardest things we humans ever have to do.
this fic goes through the rough battle of what it means to be committed to a person. the battles of finally giving up on someone you once thought the world of. and honestly? that may be my worst fear. for someone to love me so deeply, and then lose that over time to see me as nothing more than an inconvenience of their past.
never been through divorce. hopefully you, nor i, will ever have to. but after reading this, i don’t think we have to experience it.
this amazing, yet painfully angsty fic does it for us. and a fucking incredible ending.
( ♛ ) THE ROAD TO RADIANT — by @kookskingdom
!! jungkook x reader | 25.9k !!
gamer!au, streamer!au, fluff, angst, smut, rivals to friends to lovers!au.
this got a crown on the shakespeare state chart purely for the fact i have never played valorant in my life, and single-handedly managed to impress my friends — who are obsessed with said game — about my newfound knowledge of gaming, purely from this fic alone. felt like a fucking genius.
i was going to add this to part four, but i genuinely had to swap some fics around to put this baby in. i found space for her, so she’s here. and deservedly so. why wait?
this fic does a very good job of highlighting the deep misogyny and sexism that runs within the gaming community towards women. like, can women not be good at gaming too? do people really believe gaming is purely a man thing? is this really the society we live in? yikes.
and if you do happen to read this fic and reach that argument scene with jungkook, please let me know. i want you to know i, too, was absolutely fuming. phones were thrown. naughty words were said. angry voice messages to said best friend were recorded.
final special mention for the smut scene. had me sweating like a sinner in church. lord have mercy.
( ♬ ) BRASS AND STRINGS — by @jimlingss
!! namjoon x reader | 113.7k !!
slice of life!au, fluff, slow burn, college!au, music!au.
take a shot every time this author is mentioned within this series. you’ll end up blackout pissed. it’s a shame they left this platform, but i hope they’re doing well. their fics have really left an impact on me. and i’ll forever be grateful.
ah, yes. the cheesy clichéd trope of the mean girl and the nerd. a mix of two completely different personalities and flavours that supposedly fit together like two broken pieces of a puzzle. the very foundation of a 2000’s romcom. an iconic pairing that has been hammered into us by the media since day one.
it’s the opposites attract that lured me in initially, but it’s the character development throughout the story that nestled itself into my heart, and got me to stay. this fic holds dear to me still.
i have gatekept this fic long enough, and i am trusting you to bear it with love and extreme care. like you’re holding a small, fragile baby in your arms. do not let me down. please.
one more thing, don’t share this with shakespeare. every time he’s brought it up, i’ve told him it was a really weird dream and he’s only just started to believe me. yes, i feel shit about it, but it has to be done. the man’s a menace.
( ✮ ) TANGLED WEBS — by @ughseoks
!! jungkook x reader | 14.1k !!
spiderman!au, soulmate!au (yup), angst, fluff.
if any of you say a word about the second tag, i will fight. i will never stop recommending them. me and the soulmates!au are soulmates. irony at its finest.
i genuinely wish spidey!jk was a real adaptation. because even though andrew is my favourite spiderman, i fear there is a large difference between the pair that separates them. andrew can play peter parker. jungkook can (re: could) play peter parker. but could andrew play jungkook? no.
in this fic, the whole characterisation of both jungkook as spiderman and the soulmate!reader is so well written. you can perfectly picture jungkook being that awkward high school boy by day, and secret superhero vigilante by night. i mean, fuck me. how is he not knackered all the time?
mixing in that final zest of soulmates!au everyone (re: me) loves, you’ve got yourself a hell of a plot line.
romeo and juliet were not soulmates, shakespeare. they were children. why aren’t you taking notes? stop talking to the queen. she’s tired of all your bullshit. and so are we.
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