#BTW WHY DOES NO ONE EVEN TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING SMOOTH THE GAME IS AFTER LAST UPDATE OMG MY EYES ARE BLESSED

[rita-yu]

It's auto play.

The timing is insane.

[turn the sound on]

#like damn #i set it to 4x auto play speed just as the stage started and it did this all on its own wtf #love nikki #BTW WHY DOES NO ONE EVEN TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING SMOOTH THE GAME IS AFTER LAST UPDATE OMG MY EYES ARE BLESSED #chinese server i mean #and yeah not sure if anyone mentioned it but there's been 4x and 2x auto play speed feature on cs for a while now which is super cool #nothing to see here i just wanted to share my admiration for random synchronization

[rabble-dabble]

The Cancer King's Court ~ The Beloved Bard

Gamzee Makara/The Beloved Bard

Okay, to understand this version of Gamzee, I need to explain how a view Gamzee’s heel turn.

I don’t believe Gamzee was mind controlled, nor do I think that he was just “evil all along”. In my point of view, his mental breakdown came about as a gradual process. Firstly, he started running low on Sopor, which he was using to suppress his mental issues brought about by his lack of a proper care taker. Second, Dave had inadvertently shattered his faith in his religion, revealing it to just be some kind of ironic joke. And, third, Tavros was murdered, leaving him without one of his closest friends. He had no one to confide in. He was desperate for purpose and guidance. So, when he looked into the eyes of Little Cal, he saw the soul of his god. He saw himself inside the soul of his god. And it spoke of its grand design to Gamzee. Guiding his actions from that point torward. Allowing him an outlet for his rage and a means of achieving paradise. 

This Gamzee starts out at that exact same point. He stares into Cal’s eyes, awaiting orders from his master. However, this version of Lord English has no intention of bringing about The Dark Carnival. Some other version of him was already on the cusp of Godhood as it was. He would succeed no matter what. Might as well have some fun. The doll orders Gamzee to murder his remaining friends, deeming them all heretics who must be purged. Gamzee likely hesitates before doing as he’s told, much like I imagine he does in our timeline.

Now, Gamzee is a lot smarter than he looks. He knows that he can’t fight against outright God-tiers and expect that to go well. He needs to even the odds somehow. So, he heads to Aradia. He plays up his sorrow at Tavros’ death, which is easy enough to do seeing how it is mostly genuine, and he asks her to avenge him. Gamzee’s not well liked… but he is charismatic. He easily turned imps to his side during the game, after all. People listen to him. He can sprinkle in a few suggestions. How badly has Vriska fucked over Aradia’s life? How often has she nearly doomed the timeline? How likely is she to get everyone killed if she isn’t stopped? Aradia agrees to stop Vriska.

Now, even as a God-Tier, Vriska admitted that she stood no chance against Aradiabot during one of the walkarounds. Aradia is able to shut her down before she could summon Jack Noir. After Vriska is dealt with, Gamzee controls Eridan and makes him shoot Aradia. With his two biggest threats dealt with, Gamzee is able to overcome and kill everyone else. Rainbowdrinker Kanaya gives him some issues, but even she can only do so much. Gamzee returns and kneels before his master, asking for his next command.

The doll laughs. Lord English mockingly reveals that he had lied to Gamzee. Manipulated him for the soul purpose of seeing him kill his friends. Lil’ Cal mockingly asks if Tavros would be proud before Gamzee rips him apart in a fit of rage.

Remorseful and lonely, Gamzee tries to go to the human kids for help. He admits that all of his friends are dead, but refuses to disclose how. He’s to ashamed to lie and to afraid to confess. Rose prods the issue and eventually figures it out for herself, causing the kids to cut all contact from him. While Gamzee is quietly waiting to waste away, The Cancer King appears. Gamzee nearly bulldozes him with a hug, initially believing his own Karkat had come back from the dead. Karkat shuts him down and explains his situation. Gamzee is desperate, not only to fix what he did, but to just have some kind of cause to believe in. So, Karkat takes Gamzee to a God-Tier bed, allowing him to ascend before letting him join.

Gamzee has spent his whole life hiding behind something in order to cope with the hardships in his life. His sopor, his religion, and now his King. Gamzee fully agrees with whatever Karkat wants him to do, and actively goes above and beyond in his service to prove his loyalty. Aradia brings Karkat hundreds of sacrifices, Gamzee brings him thousands. He intimidates anyone who questions the King and indirectly influences Karkat to be more ruthless. He even went as far as making a cult out of the remains of Lord English’s cult. The second names given to everyone are the names given to them by The King’s Clowns. If Terezi is the angel on Karkat’s shoulder, Gamzee is the devil.

On top of this, Gamzee is more clingy in pursuit of Tavros. He’s pushy about hanging out with him and tends to drag him along on missions. Tavros finds Gamzee’s mote instable personality deeply disturbing, which only makes Gamzee more desperate to connect. “Would Tavros be proud of you” isn’t a question Gamzee wants to face otherwise. 

He generally gets along with everyone else in the Court, everyone is all about burying hatchets and righting wrongs here, so they make more of an effort to tolerate his eccentrics. Doesn’t mean they don’t find him creepy. He’s the one person who succeeded in killing them all in an alternate timeline, and seeing him in a fight or in one of his more irritable moods makes that scarily apparent. Some members, such as Equius, even regret not making closer friendships with their own Gamzees. They never knew just how many issues he had until he became a walking pile of issues. The exception to this is Vriska. Because, again, Tavros. Tavros hates Vriska, ergo, Gamzee hates Vriska. Yet again, Aradia plays team mom until the heat cools down.

It’s actually the human members of the Court that get along with him better (who I’ve been neglecting this whole time, but I swear I’m getting to it). Rose finds him utterly fascinating to look into and actually does a decent job of addressing his issues when they meet up. Jade takes an interest in his biology, as Gamzee is weirdly hard to kill even by God-Tier standards. If you thought he was hard to take down as a mortal, you haven’t seen anything yet. This being Gamzee, he doesn’t give a shit about being poked and proded with sciencey shit. Still, his relationship with Dave gets off on an awkward note. Dave’s the guy who sent him the ICP vid after all, but they’re able to bond over crappy father figures and a hatred for Lil’ Cal. 

On the field, Gamzee is unfettered and capricious. When he’s not hypnotizing or smooth talking large crowds into feeding the King, he’s leading his cult into battle and tormenting armies with his powers. He brings your worst fears to life as his army of fanatics rips your friends apart. The rest of the Court can be reasoned with, talked to. Make an enemy of the King, and the Clown won’t rest until he has your head.

He is dreaded across Paradox Space as the King’s most ruthless enforcer. He is the reason that God-Tiers struggle to sleep at night. He is the reason why some doomed timelines pray to the King for salvation. He is the King’s Prophet. He is the Cult’s Head. Heed the Beloved Bard when he asks you pledge your loyalty. He will not ask twice.

EVIL JOHN ANON!!!!

you’re making a sympathizer outta me.

BUT ALSO THIS IS JUST REALLY GOOD AND I SWEAR TO GOD YOU DESCRIBE GAMZEE REALLY WELL

and don't quote me but I felt like gamzee here was completely losing it while having control the entire time and I based that faint idea on how I drew him.

that last line is killer cold btw

#homestuck #gamzee makara #the beloved bard #karkat vantas #cancer king karkat #aradia medigo #tavros nitram #vriska serket #jade harley #the red death #the pirate queen #the beast whisperer #i hope im rememberin those names right its been a while #doodleart #submitted #anon #evil john anon #hkldlkfajdlfafnabfa THIS STORY #submission

[aenslem]

Doctor Who Tag Game

Tagged by: @thirteenstardisfam thank youu and i am so sorry it is so super long lmao i did not mean too, but somehow ended up with it, and also i think i will make fandom hate me for some stuff about 11, but i love him! don’t you dare to think otherwise :’D

im tagging: @tennant @luke-skywalker @panlyra @stupidape @buffyrosenbergs @expelliarmus idk who of you whovians wanna do it out there feel free to say i tagged you and go on ;)

Favourite Doctor:  still Ten, i love 12 and 13 almost as much, even if not harder atm, but if it comes to choosing 1 fav doctor then it’s always Ten, so far no one stepped higher for me :’D I loved his era, i loved so many episodes with him, his season arcs, his companions, his relationships with everyone, and this is the only Doctor whose regeneration was smooth for me, he was continuation of Ninth Doctor and it felt like that. I was not like ‘but he is so different in so many ways’ nope, never. Maybe it’s because companions were the same, everyone was still around which was great btw, and I fell in love with the show with Tenth Doctor, dare I say that I stopped watching back then when Matt Smitt became doctor? lmao, must be shock for some but yes, I dropped this show because of THAT lmao??now i laugh at my own self but yeah, i did. where’s everyone, why it feels so different? that was huge nope. Only years later I got back into it, thanks to amazing Michelle Gomez. Actually I was not even going to watch other doctors at that moment, but I watched episodes only with Missy, then i said well it’s not bad I like it and Missy and Twelve were?? OOOF LOVES OF MY LIFE FOR SURE because their relationship were so cool and of course i loved it, so i started a huge rewatch, the first since i dropped the show. Fell in love with Doctor/Master all over again, Ten was as amazing as I remembered, Nine was perfect and I love him too!!! and then... i got to s5... oh god, i was like, let’s give him a chance, what do i lose? but it still felt so weird, and the show was so different, and suddenly everyone else is so important but where are old characters? but i got into it because i have already seen some of 12′s episodes and i got used to the style?? i guess. and then River appeared, not because of her but around episode 5 or 6 i was into it already, not as much as i was before but anyway, maybe weeping angels helped because i loved them and it reminded me of Ten, i felt some kind of a connection to old doctor. I liked River with 10, i thought i will like her with 11 too... but alas, still felt like you know those boys who have never had sex but try to act like they know everything about it and hit on every moving thing and think they do it cool? :D i am sorry if i hurt someone’s feelings with it, but that’s how 11 was for me back then, and while I do understand river/11 it’s the least of all river ships for me, 11 is still the least fav doctor because of those feelings i had back then when i stopped watching, they are not rational i know that now but still feel them, but i love him now, and will protect that kid at all costs! i love ponds, i will kill if anyone says anything bad about Rory Williams! and Amy and Rory? quoting my favorite star trek couple? DUDE WE GO TOGETHER OR NOT AT ALL!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! and even if i was not into all river/11 relationship i loved the story, and of course i liked 12, but s8 still feels like what the hell for me, not because of the doctor but because they tried so hard to show clara as bossy, i mean, i liked her with 11 and then suddenly they turn her into some control freak, it was not so MUCH with 11... but i know now why they did it, so Missy’s words have an effect and all. but still, i love clara before and after s8 :’D s9 clara? i will kill for her too. it’s too long but idk  :’D and actually, this shows that if you give it a chance even if you don’t like actor/actress at first - you might love the show ;) so stop acting like jodie is miscast honestly, i am ready to fight anyone for saying that :D say whatever you want about plot choices, but do not fucking act like it’s Jodie’s fault! actors are not responsible for show runner choices. She acts amazing with the material she has. anyway, 10 is my fav idiot!

Favourite Master: Missy, always was and always shall be. My favorite character in general in the show, no one tops my girl!

Favourite Sonic: honestly? i don’t really remember any sonic but 12′s glasses :D so... glasses. I mean, i don’t really care how it looks like, it does its job... most of the time lmao, but i liked those glasses and the thing with browser history was my fav :D

Favourite Companion: oh it’s soooo hard!!! either Donna or Bill. I can’t choose. but yeah, those are both with whom there were no ‘romantic’ relationship implied, i love friends more than couples. and I just loved 10 and Donna as a team and Bill and 12, i still wish they had more time. also Martha, the smartest companion lol she was amazing.

Favourite Story: anything involving The Master :D all episodes with them are my favs, but i can’t just pick one story, i still remember the first episode i watched back when it was airing and are you my mummy stuck in my head for the rest of my life giving me brrrr feeling, like it was not scary but somehow made me super uncomfortable? also vashta nerada?? duuuuude, you can’t just look at the shadow the same way. and ten/river together were really great, i mean, he did not know who is she, the mystery, i love shit like that?? yeesss!!!!! there are so many great ones. I don’t want to choose.

Favourite Soundtrack: that unreleased tiny melody when the master dies in the last of the time lords T--T and this is gallifrey and clara’s theme! those are my favs. and I also really like 11′s theme, kinda ready for adventures and doing some weird but funny shit :D

Dream Actor for next Doctor: ooooof OOOOF dude! you know what, usually it is one actor for 3 seasons, that’s how it was for the last 3 doctors, i want Jodie to break that rule and stay with us for 4th season as well, i just want to see how pissed off those haters will be lmao i really really think the entire timeless child thing will not feel the same with someone else yet, and i don’t think they will reveal much in 13th season, that’s HUGE thing, or they should make it so good and the next doctor... aaah i don’t want to feel that change again, like i did with 10 to 11, and felt with the every next doctor, but i overcome that shit and just give them a chance, it’s the doctor after all and im sure loving all of them now. not sure it can disappoint me even if most of plot choices in the season are ... weak. idk who, there are so many great actors but whoever i choose will not be as great as someone they choose, because they always somehow cast amazing people, but i agree with emily it’s time for a doctor of color! tho, they can’t go back to white male actor right now, i just can imagine how it will look like, with all the hate Jodie received and how people still whine about female doctor, it will look like they tried and decided to go back to white male doctors, one half will be happy but the other one will eat them alive! so yeah, i am pretty sure it’s not gonna be white man again yet lol

Dream Composer: idk

Dream Story: well, considering 13 is in jail now, i would love to see someone “we know” rescuing her, because honestly if they just showed me jack and left it like that, i will not accept it!!! but also since yaz will be the only one left with the doctor, since bradley and tosin leave the show, i hope we will have some yaz and doctor relationship development without anyone else, maybe jack could stay because i love him, but jack’s presence did not hurt doctor and rose relationship development back then, so it should not hurt now also. but if they bring someone new, at least don’t make it right away, let yaz and 13 have an adventure at least 1 episode, some talk and stuff. so when yaz leaves also... (and i kind of had that stupid feeling that yaz will die in the end, because somehow everything hints on that for me? idk maybe it’s because i rewatched and giffed orphan 55 today and vilma (?) telling yaz to run and stay alive kinda felt like something that hints on yaz’s future... and yaz is always going somewhere without thinking, to random alien ship, to save the doctor, she steps into trouble like a doctor hoping everything will somehow be ok, but im not even sure she hopes, it’s more like i am as good as her so i can do it, not in clara’s way when everything hinted she is like the doctor, because let’s be honest she was and even got her own tardis, but she thinks she is, but she is not, i think some day that might end bad for her... so when she also leaves i don’t want it be like well yeah, what’s next? i mean, i still miss Bill, that was like NOOOOOO with tears and screams for me, i loved Bill! and we had 2 seasons with yaz and i still don’t feel the same connection to any of the current companions atm, so i would like the show to make me love them more, i do love them, just not as much as those i still miss, but im sure defending any of them lmao i love them anyway. you know what i mean...

A Companion You’d like to see back: oh OH. we cant bring them back for entire season right? but doctor can meet Donna at some point, which will have no point lmao cos she doesn’t remember and it will only hurt doctor and i don’t see how her appearance will help any plot, it will be just fanservice cameo. But Bill is out there with Heather, they are powerful creatures now, i think it could somehow fit into the story, I want Bill back. But also, Clara is still one heartbeat away from death, she can be out there, and she has tardis. tiny cameos will be fine for me :D and Martha, but also Madam Vastra and Jenny, Kate and Osgood, where they are??? bring them back and it can make sense, their appearances. I mean, imagine someone from UNIT in s11, not unit itself but osgood??? it would feel so much different. 

An Enemy/Alien/Creature you’d like to see again: weeping angels!!!! OOOF they were creepy, and i love them, like, DON’T BLINK!!! how can you not blink for so long? that is cool, i want them back. and also the most beautiful shots are always with angels so... :’D

If you could travel with one of the Doctors, which Doctor and why?: oooh, while 10 is my fav, and I totally would hit on 13 :D i will choose 12, 12 from season 10, because he was such a grandpa, no lovey dovey stuff, he would lecture me on thing i do, give me new info about something, we would explore shit together and he would be like a grandpa i never had. We would definitely have long discussions about stuff and have good laugh together and i would make references to movies and then we would watch those movies :D i would act like Bill lmao yess i want to travel with 12!!!

#text #doctor who #tag game #ooh for dream story i want doctors together #how could i forgot i always want doctors together :D

[koganphrancis]

Camless Episode 5

All The Writers Of This Show Are Shit

We had us a brand new writer this week and all we got was the same old same old: OOC, Retconing, and Repeats of Old Story Beats.

I’ll attempt a recap, but this episode really sucked the will out of me.

(gif credit: gallavichlovies)

I’m not going to do my usual character by character recap because frankly some really awful shit went down this week that I’m just going to refer to and not go into in depth.  Plus, so much of the episode was tedious repeats of shit the writer had JUST TRIED to say.  

We had both Debbie and Ian go knocking on the wrong doors for advice. We had two endless Lip scenes where all that was happening was he was running and riding a motorcycle.  Maybe next week he can paint a fence and we can all watch as the paint dries. Liam is sexually molested (off screen, but still) by another child who had been sexually molested. Carl and Frank both get slapped around in sexually-adjacent situations just as the show is once again trying to drive home what’s unacceptable for men to do to women-hey, Shameless, that goes for what’s unacceptable for women to do to men, women to do to other women, and men to do to other men as well.  They tried to make “going Fiona” a thing-twice.   There were at least four scenes where Frank tried to get an erection. There were endless retcons (more on those to come).  

My notes are all over the place and the show’s such a shit pile I can’t even begin to make a smooth narrative out of them, so here’s a list of my observations, saving the Ian shit for last.

Debbie had a running thread through a big part of the episode where she’s literally bored to the point of falling asleep listening to Alex-that is exactly how I feel about their relationship/the Debbie thinks she might be gay storyline.  Also, if anyone cares, Debs has completely dropped her equal rights/equal pay fight.  She doesn’t even seem to go to work anymore. Later, Debbie goes to visit the lesbians in Fiona’s building (rather than, I don’t know, talking to Vee about her experiences with Svetlana, since that seems maybe more in line with feelings Debbie is experiencing?) and the scene was clearly written in lieu of Shameless ever showing sex scenes anymore.  

The blond lesbian, Mel, exposes herself to Debbie in the doorway of her apartment (but sadly for the Netflix fans, her back is to the camera), without establishing if Debbie is not a minor, and then she kisses her in a sloppy slo-mo saliva string sharing close up.  Debbie is supposedly stunned stupid by this, but the whole “you like what you like and you don’t have to justify your sexual orientation to anyone” message falls flat.  Debbie has ALWAYS been starved for attention, and she misreads any attention she gets from anyone of any sex.  Since Matty she’s always equated someone trying to be interested in her as being interested in her sexually.  And that kiss wasn’t sexual at all-it too was a form of molestation-it wasn’t asked for or consented to.  This show is shit.  

Carl meets a young woman at a West Point mixer, the daughter of the scary military officer who is throwing the party.  Hello, we’ve done this already with Dom and her scary cop dad.  Yawn.  Carl films them not having sex after she passes out drunk so he can prove he didn’t molest/rape her, should it ever come in question.  At first the young woman is mad (and jumps on him and starts slapping him around, just like Katey Sagal will do in a scene with Frank), but then later she returns Carl’s phone and says she saw he didn’t film them having sex, but there is a recording on there of him having sex with someone else.  He says that’s Kassidi, his ex, but fails to let Kelly (the new chick) know she’s dead and he’s an accessory to her murder.  And how fucking creepy is it that Carl’s kept sex with his dead ex on his phone?  Is that something he’s still watching?  Does he get off to it?  This show is shit.

Kev and Vee get stuck with Frank in a few scenes, foreshadowing the boring seasons to come, should the show get renewed (why are they still sitting on announcing that, btw?).  There’s a subplot for Kev where he’s going to speak at a women’s rally in his new-found position of Vagina Safe consultant, but he wisely bows out when he hears the real hell women face on a regular basis.  Why this show is trying to be socially conscious this late in the game I’ll never know.  Especially since they’ll keep pulling their bullshit and defend it with “it’s Shameless!” like they’ve always done in the past.  This show is shit.

There’s the weekly Fiona/Bored disagreements-this time they’re about little things like music preferences and whether or not Fiona should care about her brother going to prison for up to two decades.  Bored winds up singing along to a song to Fiona at the end-it should’ve been Gus Pfender’s Fuck You, Fiona and they could’ve had a cute discussion about Gus being Fi’s ex-husband.  This show is shit.

Now Ian.  Sigh.  Nothing makes sense.  Everything’s either a lie or a retcon and we the audience still don’t know which.  At breakfast he’s telling the family his plea options, and when Liam questions temporary insanity, Ian rattles off, “Bipolar, off my meds.”  So is Ian saying that’s just the definition of the defense he could use, or is he saying “I was off my meds”????  WHY won’t the show give us any answers?  There were two significant scenes in Season 8 where he staunchly said he was taking his meds and that he (rightly) was entitled to feel emotions and be angry at times.  Are we supposed to think that right about then is when he stopped taking them and then Gay Jesus happened?  But if that was the case, why did he stop taking his meds, and now how long has he been off them-or did he start taking them again and now they’re working after being off them for all the GJ stuff PLUS when he was in jail for 9 months?  IF he was off his meds for any amount of time but especially a long amount of time (pretty sure an argument could be made he’d been off them since leaving Mickey/Monica dying/stalking boring Terror, blowing that old couple for money), why did his manic phase seem so different than when he was back from the army?  Can the show try to explain anything?  

Ian and Fiona and Geneva all go to the lawyer’s office-why?  There IS such a thing as client-attorney privilege and the lawyer, at least, would ask them to wait outside once the screaming began if not sooner.  But oh well.  Ian finally says, “Does anyone want to hear what my lawyer has to say?”  Me at home: YES!!!  Lawyer starts to talk, “I know this judge-he’s under...” Geneva starts yelling again and what gets lost in her bullshit is that later on, the judge is not a he?  

Outside Fi asks Ian, “Are all lesbians that dramatic?”  I asked last week, I’m asking again: Is Geneva a lesbian?  Is this just another retcon?  Her initial interactions with Ian seemed like she was crushing on him, that she wanted him, and there’s been nothing about her being a lesbian in canon.  I know it’s not important, but the lack of attention to detail on this show contributes mightily to its shittiness.

Suddenly Ian has a question, and he can think of only one place to get an answer (even though Liam was able to Google “what is cocktail attire?” and get an answer in seconds.  Ian should’ve asked him to look up his question as well).  

Ian goes to the Milkovich house and it’s so fucking OOC I don’t even want to think about it.  For whatever reason, Ian politely says, “Hi, Mr. Milkovich,” when Terry answers the door-why would he even bother?  Terry’s not big on manners, for one thing, and for another, the last time Ian saw Terry he was flipping him off as he was being carted back to prison.  Don’t think Terry’s going to be warmed over by a polite greeting.  Anyway, Ian asks him about being in the pen, and Terry says there’s ass and mouth rapings that Ian would probably enjoy, shitty food, and beat downs from the guards.  Ian asks if Terry was mouth raped (I think he specified that, I didn’t put it in my notes) and Terry indignantly says that Milkoviches don’t “bottom”.  Ian says, “Was Mickey adopted?” and I can’t tell if he was trying to piss Terry off or if he was genuinely curious, but as a joke it didn’t work-Ian knows (or the old Ian did, anyway) better than anyone that Mickey was absolutely nothing like Terry, in any way, not just in sexual preferences.  Another OOC comment to just make the viewer weep thinking about the old days.  Also, having Terry know, let alone USE, the term bottom was also OOC in the extreme.  He might as well have said, “All Milkoviches are cishet.”  It would’ve been just as believable.  

But back to the scene.  Ian says, “Rapings, food, guards-I can handle that shit.  I just need to know...” Terry interrupts him.  “Anyone can handle that shit.  (Again, me at home: Really?)  It’s the boredom that’ll kill ya...Start reading books, lifting weights...”  (Mickey already told him that about juvie AND prison-how dense is Ian that he never got it?)  “But you’re in the same place, with the same assholes, doing the same shit, every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every god damn year.  If I was you I’d pack my shit and run.”  

Ian’s face while he’s running down all the segments of time seems to look like Terry’s getting through to him.  And Terry telling him to take off is actually the best advice Ian winds up getting-in the long run Terry seems to care about keeping Ian out of prison more than his own family.  Terry easily could’ve slammed the door in Ian’s face and ignored him.  Does that mean I forgive Terry at all for everything he did to Mickey, Mandy, and Ian-not to mention his other sons and Svetlana?  FUCK NO.  But how telling is it that this show is now so bad that a villainous piece of shit like Terry is the one character we are listening to and agreeing with?  

One last thing about Terry-he just got out, but he knows Mickey’s in Mexico?  How?  I’m hoping this is a set up for Ian being able to find Mickey next week (or at the end of the season if we have to wait that fucking long), but this show doesn’t do continuity anymore, so I’m sure there’s no logical explanation for Terry knowing that fact.  

Fi goes to the Gallagher house looking for Ian and finds an empty box of hair dye, and a towel stained with hair dye, and that Ian’s drawers are empty.  I also noticed that his pillow was gone-did he pack that up too?  If so, I’m hoping it’s because he and Mickey shared it and he wanted to keep some part of Mick with him always, but we know this show ain’t about that anymore.  Anyway, Fi goes and tells Lip she thinks Ian skipped bail and they have to go find him.  Lip says no, Ian’s an adult.  This conversation also just took place with Debbie-or takes place right after, the show was so boring I couldn’t keep the repeated scenes straight if you put a gun to my head.  

WHY are the siblings so uncaring about Ian going to prison-or getting caught as a fugitive and spending even more time there?  WHY is everyone so stupid about whether prison is “bad” or not, especially for their apple cheeked, puppy-eyed brother who is dealing with mental illness?  Who may or may not be off his meds at any given time?  Ian couldn’t even handle VISITING Mickey in prison, why does he suddenly think he could do a stretch of multiple years if not decades?  All those years stealing cable and watching bootleg DVDs, did none of the Gallaghers ever watch Oz?  In a prior season it was established that Lip has read so much he was able to determine a Louis Vuitton purse was authentic by the stitching and the lettering-he’s never read about prisons and how they affect young men that are in them for a period of time?  “Hardened criminal” is a phrase he’s never come across?  Lip doesn’t realize how hard Ian’s future as a convicted felon will be when he gets out?  Trying to find a job (especially one with medical benefits), a place to live, all that stuff?  This show is shit.

There’s a meaningless shot of Ian at the train station (we don’t even get to know where he was planning to run to-as if we didn’t know-show us he’s at least headed south, you bastards!) and then there’s a scene where Lip comes home in the dark to find Ian at the kitchen table eating ice cream right out of the Edy’s carton.  (They don’t show us the flavor-it looked like it might be chocolate chip?  I didn’t see any chunks of cookie dough or anything.  Again, this is only important because everything else is so boring that actually knowing what kind of ice cream Ian likes would be interesting in comparison.)  

I guess the ice cream is sort of a metaphor?  Ian’s last sweet taste of freedom?  Or maybe I’m reading too much into it and they just came up with something for the brothers to share and it couldn’t be beer-because of Lip, not because of Ian’s meds because god knows they never cared about that, plus we STILL don’t know if he’s just magically back on them-if he is, how is he paying for them?  Anyway, after Lip’s earlier attitude about Ian being an “adult” and not caring all that much about him ever, he doesn’t deserve ice cream!  Here’s a snippet of their dialogue: 

Lip: So you didn’t run. Ian: Oh no-I ran.  I just...ran back.  (well, at least that’s in character since he ran away to the army and came back, and ran away with Monica and came back, and the fucking Mexican border, but I’m not happy about that fact)

They start listing the things Ian will miss if he’s gone for the next ten years.  Debbie may be married to a woman (I would think her being divorced is more likely, but whatever, I won’t be around to watch it either, I’m gone as soon as Ian’s back with Mickey), Carl will be a war criminal, Liam will be the father of a ten year old, Frank, dead.  Ian asks Lip, “You?”  “Still in AA, if I haven’t drunk myself to death.”  Ian says, “Do me a favor?  Don’t.”  IAN CARES MORE ABOUT LIP THAN LIP CARES ABOUT IAN.  Always has, always will.  “Lip deserves to get out of the ghetto.”  But Lip’s fine with Ian going off to prison because of the whole Gay Jesus thing that he never even began to try to understand or help Ian find a way out of.  This show is shit.

Next there’s a scene of Ian in a suit, dressed for court and talking to his Bible that’s on his bed (still no pillow-weird).  He’s asking Shim to talk to him one last time, maybe give him a hint what he should do.  His voice is soft and pleading and he’s almost in tears and all I can think is he needs Mickey to talk things out with.  Lip comes to the door and says something like they’re all downstairs, it’s time or whatever.  Ian gives the Bible one last look and seems to do a little wink-did he hear something from Shim?  Would it kill this show to let us in on some things?  This show is shit.

His plea hearing was so factually inaccurate it hurt.  His lawyer doesn’t say anything, and when asked what he pleads Ian launches into his entire defense.  And the judge lets him.  OMGJ.  

Again I’m pretty sure I’m witnessing a retcon when Ian says “A young man was being forced against his will into a van to be taken to a conversion camp.”  Um, as I recall (and I won’t rewatch the episodes to get all the exact details, they were too stupid), a young runaway came to the Church of Gay Jesus and claimed his parents were trying to make him get conversion therapy and they were giving him drugs so he couldn’t get erections because they didn’t like the fact that he was gay, but when Ian talked to the dad he said the kid ran away on his own because he suffered from mental illness, was off his meds, and was living on the street and prostituting himself.  As I recall the dad/parents didn’t say anything about conversion, they just wanted him home.  Maybe the dad sought help from the guys in the van because there was no other way to get the kid home-none of this has been established for the court, if nothing else!  This show is shit.

Ian gives a speech in a voice like wimpy Jeremiah trying to convince everyone Jerome was the bad one and it was just lame.  He claims his family loved him unconditionally-since when?  They only gave him crap about being with Mickey, or ignored him.  And then when he became “like Monica” there were definitely conditions on loving him-mainly that he be on his meds.  Right up to this episode they were all going around saying it’s time to let him go-they didn’t love him enough to want to keep him at the house and try to help him!  

Anyway, he then states in open court he was off his meds and in a manic state when he torched the van.  Then he looks back at Fiona and starts to give a tiny smile right before the credits.  Was he lying to get a lighter sentence and he’s smiling because he got away with it?  Or does he look to her like that because he knows she’ll be proud of him for finally telling the truth even if it disappoints/ruins the GJ movement (that is so implausible as a concept it makes my head ache)?  

By next week the show will be in another writer’s hands and I’ll never get the answer to that question either, I bet.  IF this means the-fucking finally-end to the GJ storyline, I’ll have to be happy enough with that. 

In conclusion let me say that once again the only “great” thing about the episode was ZERO mention of Terror!  

But the rest of the show was shit. 

#Recap #Season Nein Episode 5 #Nobody wants it #So much to hate in this week's episode #They keep finding new depths to sink to

[awfully-sadistic]

{{ Book Talk: The Boy Who Sneaks in My Bedroom Window

This question on Goodreads sums up my thoughts.

I don’t know what to say about this book or why I started to read it. I just did when I was looking for The Raven Cycle ‘cause I have a ridiculous crush on a character I don’t even know yet. Ronan.

Anyway, this fucking book. I thought it was like, fanfiction at first. It is certainly written that way. There is such a huge overuse of “he smirked/smirks” and “she smirked/smirks” and other cliche phrases, I’m going to throw up. There’s also an over abundance of the main character, Amber Something, calling other girls whores and sluts and basically slut shaming them for dressing how they want to dress--FOR WHICH THERE IS NO DRESS CODE AT SCHOOL, I GUESS. One of the instances of Amber describing a girl’s skirt was that it fit like a belt or something. Another instance is her putting down other girls for being loose, for wanting to have sex with her brother and his best friend. For being bimbos and ho’s and having no self-respect because apparently this author wrote every fucking woman in her school like this. EVERY WOMAN AT AMBER’S SCHOOL (EXCEPT FOR AMBER) WAS A THIRSTY SLUT OR A BITCH OR A HO after her brother and his best friend’s junk. They literally threw themselves at them, were incredibly bold with their flirtations like touching and grabbing them all the time. Like, these ladies were written desperately thirsty, I felt bad for them. All because the author wanted to portray Amber in a more angelic light or what?

Speaking of, her main love interest gave her the nickname Angel.

Oh, by the way. She slut shames her main love interest, Liam James, too. I only know his goddamn name because everyone calls him by his fucking whole name, like constantly. Don’t get me wrong, I guess he’s some sort of man-whore because he openly flirts with these girls right back so I suppose if she’s going to be calling the women sluts and whores, I’m glad she also calls Liam out for acting the same way??? So does Amber’s brother, Jake, and he’s known to have slept around, etc, etc. Basically everyone but Amber is a big ol’ slut.

Don’t even get me started on how Amber decides to take part of this stupid ass bet to “nail” Liam because he announced he had a girlfriend and ALL THE OTHER GIRLS IN SCHOOL WANT HIM. His fucking pot was raised to 4,000 dollars or something outrageous like that. 20 bucks per girl. They put in 20 dollars EACH into the pot to see who can convince him to virtually cheat on his girlfriend. Which, at this point, is Amber. 4000 dollars. 20per girl. i suck at doing math but is that like 200 girls??? IS THAT RIGHT? DID I DO MY MATHR IGHT? 200 GIRLS ARE AFTER LIAM’S ASS.

I honestly don’t know where to start with this.

I mean, I can start with how it feels incredibly juvenile. Amateurish. Half-finished? There seems to be a lot of details missing in between scenes and the scenes themselves are short as fuck. The transitions are incredibly sloppy, one second Amber is in her bathroom and the next she’s in school.

Can I also note how her eight year old dialogue was incredibly strange. It felt like an older person was talking.

A few more points:

1) she doesn’t want to tell anyone they’re dating. she makes liam wait like 2 weeks to break the news to her overprotective big brother (by two years because they’re both 18 and she’s 16).

2) her best friend magically finds this out because i guess she just does. and all of a sudden she went from thirsty ass bff to supportive ass bff and stops trying to nail Liam AND jake. wait no, she’s still trying to fuck amber’s brother.

3) she’s somehow emo. idk. she wears dark clothing and all the other “sluts” at school call her emo. and how liam will never be into her.

4) liam went from biggest fucking vagina humper to absolutely cult-like dedicated to amber like as soon as they shared their first kiss. i guess that’s sort of sweet if he weren’t a total fuckboy. he said he had been in love with her since he was six??? (which was make her 4 or something) and only slept around with all those women because he figured he’d just fall in love with someone else. he couldn’t have a chance with her because her brother forbid it.

5) brother eventually finds out and comes around like in a manner of minutes. found out because liam and amber have some sort of special technique he uses whenever amber has some sort of anxiety attack about her dad.

6) SPEAKING OF, HER DAD ALMOST RAPED HER when she was like 13.. or idk. something like that. sundays were usually reserved for “special” times when he’d touch her or whatever. basically dad is an abusive assfuck. jake and liam came home early from some kind of hockey game, saw the scene and apparently beat the shit out of the dad.

7) dont even know the extent of how far she was molested because she never fucking talked about it. im opting to believe it was that one instance and she was just milking it. idk. 

8) for as much as she went around in the first few chapters of the book saying how much she hated liam, how much she called him a man-slut, etc etc and being mean to him because oh he annoys her sooo much, he’s sooo mean, etc etc, she’s absolutely in love with him even though she’s finding reasons ...not to be. thinking he might cheat on her, get fed up with amber wanting to wait because she’s not letting him have sex yet. mainly because no one else but her mom, jake, and liam can touch her, ever, without her freaking out about it. but in the span of these few chapters ive read, two strangers have kissed her twice now. 

8a) first time, liam had to save her because she was drunk and blah blah blah. second time, she was openly flirting with a guy who was all, “i bet if i kiss you i can change your mind about wanting to go out with me” and she was all “i bet you 20 bucks you can’t and also i will kick you in the balls if you try” and what the fuck happened? he kissed her. she kicked him in the balls. liam’s like “that’s my girl” as the dude comes back limping into the room and hands her a 20.

9) “I’d wanted her for so long that I was a little worried that if I ever did get her, that she would never be able to live up to what I had imagined.“ CAN YOU TELL ME WHAT THIS MEANS because to me, Liam saying this about Amber makes me feel like this can almost be an insult lmfao.

10) AND THIS IS THE SEX SCENE, FINALLY BTW:

“You are so beautiful, Angel,” I whispered. She smiled and gripped her hand around the back of my head, guiding my mouth back to hers. I felt my heart swell as I kissed her passionately, showing her just how much I loved and cherished her before I prepared myself to make love to her for the first time.

I smoothed her hair away from her sweaty forehead. She was grinning at me and looked so happy it made my heart skip a beat. “I love you, Angel.” We laid there trying to slow our heart beats. I pressed my face into the crook of her neck kissing her, feeling her rapid pulse under my lips. I felt happier than I had ever felt in my life. After a minute or so, I pulled out of her and rolled to my side. I tightened my arms on her, pulling her close to me, trailing my fingers over her naked, sweaty body, lingering on her breasts. “I’m sorry I hurt you,” I said quietly. I felt awful that I was the one to have to cause her pain, but I guess every girl had to go through that the first time.

Did this author really write “after a minute or so”? I was like, where’s the penetration? I had NO idea they were fucking until he pulled out... A MINUTE LATER.

11) everyone must be a goddamn cat or something because there’s a lot of seductive purring. and I ran into this hilarious count in a review:

Wink count: 48 Purr count: 37 Smirk count: 74 Flirt count: 38 Ass count: 91 (this one was the most annoying...everyone calls each other "hot ass" "sexy ass" "fine ass" nonstop throughout the entire book)

there is plenty more i can say about this train wreck but i think, above all, i was just... surprised it was like... PEOPLE LIKED THIS?? it even had this little thing at the end of the summary:

The international bestselling novel, and finalist of the Goodreads choice awards YA fiction 2012.

like... what... how can people pump out novels like 50 Shades and this mess and I can’t fucking finish a chaptered story? some of the answers answering that question i had tacked on above surprised me too. people were calling it “realistic” -- i had to roll my eyes. there has been no realistic part of this story since i started reading it. 

if it were, vampires would exist and they’d sparkle in the goddamn sunlight. frankly, we’d all have our Christian Grey by now, too.

and every time he called her Angel, i just imagined this:

thank you and goodnight.

#{{ Book Talk

[notaperfectprefect]

Harringrove Mechanic (Part 2)

. (I don’t know how I want this to end and I want both fluff and smut, but which should come first?) btw i am not so good at writing so just bear with me

Part 1

The ride to the auto shop was stressful for Steve because his old rival sang along to loud metal songs, constantly distracting Steve from focusing straight ahead. Billy kept glancing over at Steve and eventually turned down the music. 

“You good princess?” 

Steve sighed at the new nickname and leaned back against the seat. 

“Why do you care?” Steve didn’t get a response, but he saw Billy clench his fingers on the wheel. He brought his eyebrows together in confusion and was about to say something when Billy suddenly stopped the car. Looking around, Steve realized they were at the auto shop. It was small, run down and only had one garage. 

Billy got out and started unhooking Steve’s car. Steve got out of the truck, well more like stumbled and fell onto his knees underestimating the drop from the truck. His knees sunk into the mud. 

“Great. Just…great.” He heard a loud bang, and looked up to see Billy staring at him with his tongue in the corner of his mouth.

“Smooth, King Steve…. ‘Ya know, kings aren’t usually the ones on their knees, but this position seems to suit you. Come on! I’m going to need some help rolling the car in the garage.” Billy gestured to Steve’s car with his eyebrows. 

“Would you stop calling me that?” Steve groaned as he got up off his knees. He trudged over practically moping like a child and met Billy at the back of his car. Billy looked surprised that Steve responded sounding so defeated. 

“We aren’t in high school anymore. So, no more princess, King Steve, pretty boy, or Harrington. My name is Steve and let’s leave it at that, alright!” Steve’s hands were at his hips and his nostrils were flaring, which made Billy’s eyebrows rise so high Steve thought they would disappear into his stupid mullet. 

“Fine with me…Steve.” Billy braced himself to start pushing and Steve watched his muscles move under his skin. Wow, he’s still in great shape. Steve wasn’t as muscular because he hadn’t had time or energy to exercise let alone play a pick up basketball game after work. Steve joined Billy behind the car. 

“Ok… Now… Push!” Both men pushed and, what seemed like hours to Steve but was only a few minutes, got the brown BMW into the garage. Steve wiped sweat from his brow and looked at the small garage. It was messy, but like there was some organization to it that only one person would be able to understand. Steve pushed his hair back and found Billy staring, but when their eyes met Billy coughed and looked away. The brunette’s eyebrows once again came together in confusion.  Billy seemed to start searching for something and Steve went to go look around. Seeing Steve looking lost, Billy commented or more like yelled from across the garage. 

“This might take awhile, go ahead and sit down!” Steve turned around and nodded. There weren’t actual seats, but he quickly found a stool near the workbench and sat. He watched Billy carry multiple tools and parts to the workbench and lay them out. 

“So…I found all the parts that I need to attach a new battery. But we don’t have the exact battery, so I will configure a different one to fit just as good.” Billy was cleaning a wrench with a towel and looked at Steve expectantly. 

“Oh… is that good?” 

“Yes, I will have you ready to go in about an hour or so.” Steve’s lips broke out into a relieved smile as he stared at Billy and a flush spread over Billy’s face. 

“Thanks, Billy.” Billy smiled shyly in return and turned back around to start working on the car. He bent over, sticking his butt in the air, which immediately drew Steve’s attention and he felt his pants tighten again. 

“Fuck…” 

“You say something?” Billy called from under the hood. Steve coughed and shook his head, even though he knew Billy couldn’t see. Suddenly feeling stuffy, Steve took off his jacket to reveal a crisp white long sleeve button down shirt. Billy stood up to exchange parts from the workbench and stopped himself when he saw Steve rolling up his sleeves to reveal lean, forearms. Wow, he looks really sexy wearing business clothes. This look reminded Billy of how Steve used to wear preppy sweaters and khakis, greatly contrasting with Billy’s attire of leather jackets and ripped jeans. Billy looked down at his oil-stained wife beater. Things never really change, do they?  

Steve looked up at Billy with big doe eyes, a piece of hair falling onto his forehead. The tips of Billy’s fingers tingled with the urge to move the piece of hair out of the way. 

“Anything wrong?” Steve’s forehead creased with worry. Billy shook his head and gave a reassuring smile. He returned to what he was doing. 

“So…how long have you been working here?” Steve tried to strike up a conversation. 

“Uhhh… about two months after graduation I…moved out and got a job here.” The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. Steve regretted asking that question, knowing Billy’s relationship with his dad was… complicated. Max let it slip one day to Steve that she was worried about Billy after an argument with his dad. Steve questioned, but she simply shook her head and ran back downstairs to the basement where the kids spent many nights playing D & D. 

“Ahem… well you seem to really know what you’re doing.” Steve said watching Billy’s tense shoulders work on his car. 

“What are you doing…exactly?” Steve asked, trying to change the topic and genuinely curious about what Billy was doing. Billy looked over at Steve from his bent over position and waved Steve over. Steve hopped off the stool and leaned over Billy’s shoulder, trying to catch a glimpse of what he was doing. Billy turned his head, but didn’t judge how close Steve was and found himself frozen inches away from Steve’s face. Their noses practically touched and Steve gulped. Billy watched Steve’s adams apple bob and a smirk slowly grew on his face. Steve watched Billy lick his bottom lip and suddenly felt the urge to kiss his former rival, but then Billy broke eye contact and returned his attention to the car. Steve felt relief and something else bloom in his chest. The other feeling, he couldn’t quite pin down. It felt like something close to…disappointment.

“So…here I am detaching the battery, which will…” Billy rambled on, but Steve didn’t understand anything he said. He had never been good with cars because his dad just always sent it to the mechanics whenever something was wrong. However, as Billy continued to explain what he was doing, Steve noticed a small smile appear on Billy’s face. He enjoyed this…whatever it was that he was talking about. This thought made Steve happy as well. He was smiling like a dork, when Billy snapped in his face.

“Hey, Steve. You still listening?” Steve blinked a few times and nodded. Billy rolled his eyes and stood up, causing Steve to stand up so they wouldn’t bump heads.

“Well, I am practically done.”

“Wow, that was fast.” Steve stared at Billy in astonishment, which caused a blush to spread over Billy’s cheeks. “Do you enjoy the work?”

“Yeah, I mean if I didn’t why would I still be here. Max told me, before I…left, that if I wanted to be happy then I needed to do something about it.” Steve thought about his dad’s firm. Did he even enjoy working there? He frowned, knowing the answer.

“Um, Steve…” Steve looked up when Billy called his name. “I’m sorry for everything I did to you in high school. I wasn’t…I’m not that guy anymore. I was angry all the time and I took it out on the people around me…and I-”

“You felt like you had no control over your life, so you felt the need to control others.” Billy’s eyes widened.

“How did you-?”

“I used to feel that way…when I was ‘King Steve’.” Steve snorted as he put air quotes around ‘King Steve.’ He walked over to put on his jacket. Turning around, Steve found Billy with his mouth comically agape. Steve couldn’t stop himself from letting out a loud snort at Billy’s expression, but quickly covered his mouth when he saw Billy scowl. Waiting for a punch, Steve was surprised when Billy started laughing out loud. More like cackling. He couldn’t prevent it any longer and  joined in with the blonde.

If an onlooker had suddenly come across the pair, they would’ve thought that the two looked crazy, laughing uncontrollably at nothing. After a few minutes, the laughter died down and both wiped their eyes. Steve looked at Billy and found him looking the most carefree he had ever seen. Billy’s eyes focused on Steve, who was staring at him with those doe eyes and a small smile.

“Ahem…well you are good to go.” Billy broke their staring contest to go wash his hands.

“Oh…what do I owe you?” Steve reached into his pocket to take out his wallet, but stopped when Billy held up a hand.

“Please… It’s on the house.”

“No, I can-”

“Steve! Please…” Steve heard the pleading in Billy’s voice and looked into his blue eyes.  “Think of this as reparation for what I did to you.” The brunette’s eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. Billy shook his hands out in front of him.

“I’m not saying that this will make up for everything. I just-“ Steve smiled and Billy stopped.

“You’re messing with me, aren’t you?” Steve’s smile widened showing all his pearls (as Dustin used to say). Billy scoffed and ran a hand through his hair.

“Thank you, Billy.” Billy tucked his head into his chest and rubbed the back of his neck.

“It’s my pleasure.”

“Well, I guess I’ll… see you around, Billy.” 

Steve waved a hand out of the drivers side window as he drove away from the shop. Billy waved until he could no longer see the brown BMV. A familiar feeling overcame him. Once again, Billy felt alone.

(Don’t worry, it isn’t over yet)

#harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #future fic

[kavurtz]

I like girls.

This mainly for me I can’t write this in my notes bc my mom checks it sooo yea. If you know me n you read this I don’t care lel

I think being gay ain’t a choice. As I grow I realize that shit isn’t I used to think it was and if you really wanted to if you were a girl you could just stop liking women or if your a dude you can stop liking a dude. As a child looking back I was fr in denial.

I like a girl on my bus. Her hair was naturally curly and she had a beautiful smile. She always wore cherry lipgloss and it made her face shine fr. She was kind..and always gave me a snack on the bus. She was a junior while I was a 7th grader.. and I know she was straight as a pole too. I thought about her a lot and uh well I would always tel myself why am I thinking of a girl gross. I suppressed feelings for girls through the whole year. If I saw a gay couple I would always tell myself to see that it’s disgusting and bad. Moving on into 8th grade year.

I was 14 and I invited a girl I liked to my birthday party! Her name was jada her skin glowed under the sunlight fr. Skin was smooth too and a nice dark chocolate. I really liked her personality she was super cool to talk to man and she was super funny I did everything with her. At the party you know my dumb self I can’t really hide if I like someone..maybe acting kinda flirtatious with movements and touchyness? Ion know lol. But my mom noticed. I was stare at jada just analyze her. That whole day felt everyone was moving in slow motion while I was going real time. After the party which was awesome btw my mom took me home..best birthday turned into the fucking worst one in 2 seconds

TRAMATIZING

I remeber this day vividly. Shit was traumatizing. My mom sat me down at the dinning table said that she wanted to talk. That’s never good so I just sat down in fear. She asked me “Do you like Jada” in denial I obviously told her no and said stupid shit like being gay is wrong and I could never like a girl that’s against the Bible! My mom didn’t believe one word of it though. She said “if I find out you are gay like women or ever want to be a man or whatever you will be kicked out of this house and we will never accept you you will be a disappointment to the whole family” I stomached that awfully. I ran to my room bro lmao and just cried the whole night. I told myself I can choose to not like girls so I just kept telling myself bro you like boys boys are cool girls are nasty you could never date a girl. I always had that in my mind and it ruined me forever. No like actually that shit fucked me up I started doing shit I was not supposed to do thinking I was going around my feelings bro. Anyways FAST FORAWRD TO 9th grade

9th grade was actually a hella good year for me no cap. I met some awesome freinds and even have a new click with them along with many others. But there’s this certain girl bro NOW NOW WAIT let me tell you sim bro my taste in girls completely like FLIPPED I used to clown girls who wore like stripped crop tops and vans and those like boot shoes irl that softgirl awesthetic look. Something like that. But now that’s the type of girls I like. Dorky girls that dress like that. I used to like girls that were “bad” wore the most on brand clothes like Nike and shit like there fit was nice as hell. Now don’t get me wrong I still love that fashion I just prefer the other one WAYYY more. Yoooo anyway. I’m in 9th grade in band and like there’s this girl she play the clarinet and like she has grey blue eyes her eyes pretty asab I don’t care. She’s a dork lol she is goofy and dances funny out of no where idk why she does that but she does lol. Now listen man I’m not a creep! But I would just stare at her sometimes at like games for football just stare at her idk why but I did I liked looking at her eyes a lot bc they were pretty THATS it. She found out i liked her tho idk who the hell either told her or if she found out by herself but uh ye I didn’t really care tho cuz I was like I can’t like girls anyway that’s gross ha ha ha bull shIT. Bru it was even worse cuz she had a whole ass girl bro I did not give a FUCK 😂😂 nahhh fast forward again. Her and her girlfreind like broke up like her girl broke up with her. And I remeber getting that text and I always joke around saying if that happened I would YESSSIRRR AYEEE LETSSS GOOO but I was actually upset. I was like bro what the hell? I got to school n like she was there crying. I would have comforted her more but I just kinda stood down and said I was sorry and that everything would be alright. Everytime I saw that girl I was mad at her giving her ugly looks man I was so mad 😂😂 but why was I feeling like this bro idk! I just was! I still kinda feel bad but everything happen for a reason man but uh let’s unpack that that girl was the actuall like ACTUALL first girl I liked her fashion personality and all that shit was perfect 😂 we still go to school together I’m in the 10th grade I don’t like her anymore tho but she is a good friend of mine

ALRIGHT this for me. Listen man! As of right now today you are confused lol. You don’t really know who you are and you still teynna figure it out and that’s ok! You like girls and that’s ok. Do you know why you like girls? Let’s give all the reasons..reason 1 because you can reason 2 because you can reason 3 BECAUSE YOU CAN! It’s just how you feel it sucks hc you really tried running away from that truth saying I can choose to not but guess what you always end up right back here 😂 liking another female 😂😂 damnnn bro I know parents ain’t accepting and that shit is tough but maybe one day ONE day they will come around I hope man they are so homophobic it’s scary literally can’t even sing a song without my dad being transphobic.. nah but fr didn’t god make us this way..? Wouldn’t he know this was gonna happen? God makes no mistakes and here I am he made me a female but I feel like a boy I ask god everyday what is going on and what do I do am I supposed to be feeling this way? I have not gotten my answer yet but don’t worry god will asnwer I don’t feel comfortable being a girl that’s why we always pretended to be someone else and that shit isn’t cool nor good for us. I’m happy to say we stopped doing that shit and that we finally trying to be ourselves we even changed our HAIR to look more masculine ahaha we look good now time for the fashion. Go shopping with freinds because you can only shop comfortably with them shopping with mom sucks bc she judge everything you pick and say it too boyish ugh I hate that saying like god damn. I wish I could wear polos and tuxes n shit I hate wearing dresses and skirts bro it’s awful! NAH BUT LOOK BRO WE WORKIN ON OURSELF YEEESSSIR ! I’m logging that shit everyday! IM NOT TRYNNA LOOK LIKE LIL TECCA BUT UHHH MY LEGS AINT IT I HATE THEM 😂 we gettin their tho it take time by the time I a junior i want people to see a change 😂 one last thing is never do sum you uncomfortable with. You stay doing that for other people and it’s trashy 😑 ok well I’m going it’s uh 11/19/20 sooo yeeee! See you in 2021 Kayden ! Check back wihh ty me with the date

Ok no more

[gryffvndors]

blurred edges [draco malfoy]

request: “could you maybe do prompt 295 with jealous angsty draco x reader. I adore your writing style btw x” -anon

“Please could do one where Malfoy and the reader get really close but then she sees him lock lips with Parkinson at a party... etcetc.” -anon

word count: ~1700 (i’ve given up on my limit)

a/n: mashed two more together bc they fit pretty well together! i hope this is what yall r looking for? i had fun writing this! i’ve been super sick all day and have been reading scorbus fanfics which is always fun. thanks for requesting and reading as always!

295: “wait a minute. are you jealous?”

It’s not a defined thing, you and Draco Malfoy. It’s more of a loose thing, an unshapely thing, with the edges blurred, corners rounded, creases smoothed out. There isn’t anything solid about it; the only thing that keeps this… whatever it is, thriving, is your combined fear of being alone.

It’s the harsh truth, but regardless, it’s the truth. If you weren’t so stubborn and needy, this wouldn’t even be a thing at all. On the other hand, Draco, a boy who’s never had to work for anything in his life, finds your relationship easy and manageable. You know because he’s told you before, the two of you laying in bed, him tracing lazy circles on your bare thigh. You’d twisted your body to make eye contact. He looked into your eyes with his steel gaze and, in answer to an unuttered question that hung in the air, said it so bluntly, you sat there for a second, feeling like he slapped you in the face.

(You left, then, angry tears crawling down your cheeks. You left, but obviously came back; why wouldn’t you? All you wanted, really, was attention. He gave you attention.)

You’ve learned to build your walls high and strong, impenetrable. He apologized for being so blunt. You forgave him, and then proceeded to have sex with him again. Yes, you’re definitely a good example on how to stray away from toxic relationships. Time and time again, you’ve told yourself to leave. You can handle being alone - but right after one of you ends it, the same person comes running back, lungs empty and chest twisting inside of your body. You don’t do “feelings”. Draco doesn’t, either. After the initial mishap, the two of you agreed that this simply be a “no strings attached” relationship. It was quite easy, until, of course, the other snuck up on one of you and tied a knot so small, so insignificant, it only became tighter and tighter until it was nearly impossible to undo. Then they got out the scissors and snipped it away, leaving the other broken with frayed edges and a permanent knot in their bones.

You deserve each other, really.

The press of Draco’s mouth against yours is as familiar and unsettling as ever; his hair, always soft, shines magnificently in between your fingers. His own digits play at the hem of your shirt. Your body shakes as he lets out a low, guttural sound. All that runs through your mind while his (cold) hands slide up the soft skin of your stomach is a warning bell, an alarm, that if you don’t stop now, you’ll be late for the post-Quidditch match party going on in the Slytherin common room. You’re near the entrance, anyway, tucked away in a dusty alcove in one of the main hallway branches. Draco’s lips suck where the underside of your jaw meets your neck. You swallow, pushing him away.

“We have to get to the common room,” you say, chewing on your lower lip. “They’ll want you to be there.”

Draco’s mouth twists into a frown. “I don’t feel like partying right now.”

“That doesn’t matter. They’ll still expect you to be there, you won us the Quidditch Cup.” When he doesn’t answer, you add, “There will be alcohol.”

“I… like alcohol,” he says softly. He goes down to kiss your neck again. You dodge it, sidestepping away. “Stop being like this.”

“We have to go, Draco.”

Draco huffs: “Fine. We’ll go to the stupid party.”

“Don’t throw a tantrum.”

“I’m not,” he sighs, running his hands through his hair. “I just… want to snog you.”

“I’m flattered,” you deadpan, “but I really feel like getting wasted right now. How about we snog after, say, five shots of firewhiskey? Ten? Twelve, maybe?”

As Draco leads you to the common room entrance, he rolls his eyes. “You’re looking for a hangover.”

“What can I say? I’m a masochist.”

The party is going full-swing. There’s a drinking game going on with a bunch of the older students; the younger ones have butterbeers, and it amuses you to see a couple third years stare longingly at the bottles of firewhiskey. As soon as you and Draco enter the room, there’s a few wolf whistles and a whole round of cheering. You leave Draco’s side and go straight for the alcohol. You bypass glasses entirely, picking up a bottle and taking a swig from it.

“Rough day?” Your friend sidles up beside you, smirking. Her cheeks are pink from the whiskey, you’d bet, personality loose and open.

You scoff, “You have no clue.” You take another swig.

It isn’t long before you open up yourself; you’ve always liked the burning in your stomach from intoxication, the stumbly and free feeling it gives you. You can’t find it in yourself to care when you lose a drinking game and have to chug straight from the bottle. You catch Draco watching you out of the corner of your eye, a smirk on his lips, face flushed, shaking his head. You nearly choke and have to double over, swallowing what’s in your mouth. The burning down your throat increases.

You’ve gotten to that point where you don’t really care about anything anymore. Around the common room, you chat with everyone, all smiles and charm and slurred words. When you turn the corner to grab something from your room, you see, down the hallway to the girls’ dormitory, Draco with Pansy Parkinson, his tongue in her mouth and hands up her skirt.

You falter, chest wrenching. The sight seems to down your spirits immediately. You turn on your heels and go back where you came from, knuckles nearly white from clenching the sleeves of your robes so hard.

You don’t know why you’re so broken up over this. You aren’t even together. This is no strings attached. You don’t do feelings - feelings are a nuisance. He isn’t yours, anyway. He never was yours to begin with. Just because you like to have a good shag every once in awhile, or snog at least three times a day, doesn’t mean you have all rights to him. He can kiss whoever he wants. And if he chooses Pansy, then so be it. What can you do about it? You, the girl that does not have feelings for him. You, the girl who cannot have feelings for him. You can’t do anything but watch and keep your mouth shut.

But, hey, if he can snog other people, so can you.

You grab your friend by the back of her robes and drag her over to the alcohol. “I saw Draco snogging Pansy Parkinson in the corner.”

Her face falls. “I’m so sorry-”

You hold up a hand. “Save it. I don’t care. But we’re going to take a shot together, and then I’m going to go snog Theodore Nott. Because I can.”

As you pour the shots, your friend muses, “Are you sure it’s not just because he’s Draco’s good friend?”

You hand her a glass and clink yours against it. “Nope,” you say, then down it. She laughs after you as you approach Nott, tugging on his sleeve. “Wanna make out with me?”

Nott glances around, then shrugs. You pull him over to a corner in the common room.

He isn’t that great of a kisser. It… doesn’t feel right, if you’re being quite honest. He’s too sloppy - though that may be due to his blatant intoxication - and a hell of a lot worse than Draco. You don’t really care, though; maybe Draco’s the bad one and you’re just used to it.

(Almost immediately after that thought, you know you’re wrong. Draco’s an amazing kisser.)

A few minutes into it, you’re torn apart. Nott is surprised; you are, too. You whip around. Behind you stands Draco, face set in a scowl. He mutters your name, then Nott’s. “Theo, step the fuck away.”

Needless to say, Nott scurries off, murmuring apologies under his breath. Draco hisses, “Can I talk to you?”

You shrug, toying with the hem of your robes. “Go ahead.” Draco grabs your wrist and pulls you into the dimly lit hallway to the dormitories, where he was sticking his tongue down Pansy Parkinson’s throat not five minutes ago.

“Why were you snogging Nott?”

You smirk. “Wait a minute. Are you jealous?”

Draco’s cheeks turn even darker. “Jealous? No. Just wondering why you chose Nott, of all people.”

You blink, feigning innocence. “Why did you choose Pansy Parkinson, of all people?”

Draco pauses. “You… saw that?”

“Yeah. I did,” you scowl, shoving your hands in your pockets. “Why are you getting onto me for snogging Nott when you were snogging Parkinson at the same time? That doesn’t seem very fair. And why are you even jealous in the first place? I thought this was no strings attached, no feelings-”

“Well, maybe I fucking developed feelings!”

Neither one of you speak. The sentence hangs in the air like a threat. You rock back and forth on your heels, unsure of what to say. When you finally find your voice, all you can say is, “O-oh.”

Draco looks at the ground. “Fuck. If you don’t feel the same way, I understand. But if you don’t, I… want things to stop between us. I can’t go around shoving my feelings aside, pretending like they don’t exist.” There’s a hesitation. You realize he’s waiting for you to speak.

“Oh,” you repeat. “I-”

Draco sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You know what? Nevermind. I-”

“Draco, stop-” You grab his arm and pull him back as he turns away to leave. You look into his (quite frankly, brilliant) grey eyes and clear your throat. “I… only snogged Nott because I saw you snogging Parkinson. I was… jealous,” you admit. “I do. Fancy you. I have major feelings for you, I just… never voiced them because I didn’t want the same thing to happen as it did before.”

He knows what you’re referencing to. You can tell; his frown deepens, and before you know it, he’s kissing you gently. You kiss back, still unaware of where you two lie. When he breaks away, you ask the question you’re both thinking.

“So… where do we stand?”

Draco swallows. “Where do you want to stand?”

“I’d… like to be your girlfriend, if that’s okay with you.”

He leans down to kiss you again. Against your lips, he mumbles, “That’s definitely alright with me.”

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfic #draco malfoy one shot #harry potter fanfic #draco malfoy imagine #my writing #blurred edges #liquidmusing #writing #prompt list #i feel so baddd omg #im all congested so my voice is so NASALLY #i had terrible fever dreams earlier about a harry potter rebellion??? #idfk #mine

[lcscuties]

Documenting my first experience at LCS in LA: Week 9 of Spring Split 2017

(writing about my experience, first impressions, + more pictures n videos/fancams n stuff inside :D click keep reading!! Note: this is a REALLY long post)

Henlo everyone, whew, it was such an exciting weekend! I want to write about my experience so here I go:

some notes before I start talking about it:

there are spoilers in this post so if you don’t want spoilers go watch the games first :3

FOR DESKTOP USERS: Whenever I try playing the videos in the post on my blog, for some reason every video after the first will not play. I don’t know if it’s because of my browser or theme or it’s just flickr, but if you want to play the video and it’s not playing for you, all you have to do is hover your mouse over the video and click on the title link of the video that’s right above my flickr username “Theberrylily8889six” right here:

[EDIT]: If you’re still having trouble playing the videos, here’s a link to my Flickr profile, you can just watch the videos from there.

also btw i know im not wearing a bra in the first pics hopefully that doesn’t bother you guys lol but I don’t really have boobs to begin with and like wearing the smallest bra just feels like putting unnecessary discomfort on myself like it’s not like I need to hold something nonexistent in place so it’s just bc i need to cover my pepperonis for society?? I wore them when I was younger and i would get like rashes and even scars from the underwire and i was like WHY AM I DOING THIS ok i can keep ranting about this but dis post is not about dat so onwards

this is quite a long post

I was supposed to go Friday but I remembered that LCS starts later on Friday, and I was taking public transport from like an hour away so I didn’t want to be dealing with that late at night in LA because it’s a little dangerous since I was alone. So unfortunately I didn’t get to meet Team Dignitas :(

Saturday

Anyways, Saturday was CLG vs IMT, and P1 vs C9.

CLG vs IMT

IMT stomped on CLG pretty hard, because Stixxay got really sick last minute, so they had to fly in Joey to sub support (he flew in at like 4 am OMG!!), and I was also surprised with the Aphro adc. I didn’t know who to cheer for as usual for most matches, I just wanted both teams to have fun rip. Also props to Joey for subbing last minute, the crowd was really kind and always cheered and clapped for his efforts haha.

Also I would like to point out that FLAMEDOCH IS REAL, the camera doesn’t capture this all the time but off camera Flame and Dardoch talk to each other the most on the team, they’re always laughing, they’re pretty touchy, and just overall super cute. Also I recorded a video of this on my snap but I’M SO ANGRY I FORGOT TO SAVE IT IT WAS SO CUTE but after game one Flame and Dardoch went to the break room holding hands and swinging their hands back and forth like a couple, I don’t think the camera caught this. TL;DR FLAMEDOCH IS VERY REAL GUYS AND IF YOU SEE THEM BEING TOUCHY ON CAMERA THEY’RE JUST AS TOUCHY ALL THE TIME OFF CAMERA TOO AO;SIFNAOIW;ENF

Then came the CLG and IMT fan meet. You have to take a picture with both teams btw. When I went up to take a group picture with IMT, Pobelter was like “Hi” and I was like “hi” back xD

After you take group photos you can talk with players and take some selfies real quick before they head back. Since I already met CLG, I didn’t take more photos with them but I talked with Darshan. Actually, at the CLG meetup I went to earlier, it was Darshan who told me exactly “Well I really hope I see you again in LA this season to support us!” and Saturday I told him “I remember you told me this exactly so I took a 13 hour train all the way down here just to support you guys!!!” lol. We had a nice conversation. Darshan is a really nice guy, and I also want to say that Aphro is too. This is the second time I met them and I’ve noticed this, they seem to be the ones to talk with their fans and really care the most.

I was also able to get a selfie with Dardoch, Pobleter, and Flame.

Dardoch to me seems like a kind person. I know he has a controversial past and I do believe he wasn’t the kindest in the past, but I really believe in “reformed” dardoch. He seems to care about his fans a lot these days. Also, when you take a picture with Dardoch he pulls you in so close a;oiewnefia;ejf....like he holds you so tight and snug and basically i was ded

Pobelter seems like a funny guy. Like...his personality is exactly like how his snapchats are LOL. Kind of like a slightly awkward yet super memey funny guy lmao.

and let me tell you about Flame man...this man is so BEAUTIFUL. Like, I’ve noticed he’s not too photogenic, but the photos really don’t do him justice. Like he’s actually EXTREMELY handsome in real life, it’s unexplainable, but he’s such a beautiful man OTL. Also Flame’s personality, he really is a “pup”! @pikaniuu always refers to Flame as a cute mans and a pup because he literally is one!! He gets distracted/immersed by little things and is a little oblivious in a cute way.

C9 vs P1

C9 also pulled the win against P1 pretty easily, well, they’re C9 so they always do pretty well. I brought the big light up C9 sign to the stage, and the camera actually caught me with it! Woooh (here’s a twitch clip of me hahaha)

Also they took a picture of me with the sign and put it on the riot flickr! wow much HD

here’s a video of me touching hands with C9 lol

Soo I got to take photos with P1 and C9 of course. I also had the giant light up C9 with me as well. When I went to go take a group photo with C9, sneaky was like ooo what’s that and he said it was really nice. Also, SNEAKY AND CONTRACTZ WERE BEING REALLY CUTE TOGETHER because Sneaky kept poking at his cheeks and Contractz was looking back at Sneaky doing the same. Idk it was really adorable, I didn’t get to capture too much of it but here’s a short video (I’ll try to gif it soon, it’s just sooo cute)

lmao I think Sneaky saw me recording them at the end xD RIP

After the group photos I was able to take a selfie with Meteos, and all of C9 except for Jensen (Jensen leaves the fan meet pretty early so I missed him).

not gonna lie Dark meteos is pretty hot irl. I also asked him to sign my C9 poster for C9. NO SHAME

Smoothie’s super nice. I told him I liked his new hair hehe. He talked with me for a while, ahh I love Smoothie so much

OKAY IMPACT’S PERSONALITY IS LITERALLY LIKE FLAME. THEY BOTH HAVE PUPPY PERSONALITIES, IT’S SO CUTE. When I asked them to sign my sign, Impact got really immersed and fiddled with my sign for a while. He was like, really excitedly, “WOW SO COOL!! , DOES IT LIGHT UP???? CAN I TURN IT ON??? *turns it on* WOWWWOWOWOOW OMG SO COOL.” And it was so fckin cute just seeing him so intrigued by my sign lol.

Contractz is a little shy but still cute as ever. Ahh it’s weird to think that he’s younger than me xD

Ray is such a QT! He didn’t talk much and is also a little shy, but nevertheless I loved Ray!

Lastly, I need to talk about Sneaky Daddy. Oh my god, he’s the one that left the biggest impression on me. He is literally so kind and friendly, he talks to you immediately when you go take a group photo with him, and if you go up to him to take a picture or sign something, he always makes a conversation with every fan no matter how shy they are. The way Sneaky talks to you, he talks like you’re already best friends. He makes you super comfortable around him, and he really seems to enjoy interacting with the fans. Also out of all the members, he’s the one who stayed behind the longest to chat with all the fans, even when it was time to go. He makes sure he gets a good conversation with everyone. My respect and fangirlism for Sneaky went up 1000%. Also not to mention his hair is fucking beautiful and graceful and his eyes are literal marbles and his skin is fair and smooth as fuck??? Sneaky is actually beautiful, like, he’s so pretty, his face is like art tbh. I’ve always noticed this but especially now I really feel like out of all the pros, Sneaky is the one who enjoys his job the most and to the fullest. I mean like he doesn’t just like winning, he enjoys learning from his mistakes and losses, he enjoys streaming, he values every one of his fans, he always seems to be a very good sport, he's extremely passionate about the work he has to put in to scrim all the time and improve. TL;DR, Sneaky is an incredibly kind-hearted, friendly, and genuine person.

They also signed my C9 Fansign! :D (lul @ Meteos’s signature on a C9 fansign)

FOX vs NV

So I only got tickets for NALCS1, but I stuck around a little longer and one of the employees said that they could let me in the other theatre to watch the last FOX vs NV that was still going on. Yay! So I got to catch the last game, which Echo Fox won. Unfortunately Team EnVY didn’t come out for pictures or the fanmeet (I really wanted to meet Apollo <3 T.T), but it’s understandable that someone wouldn’t want to go to a fanmeet when the team isn’t doing so well in the standings. Oh well. Anyways, I got to meet Echo Fox, and I took a selfie with Looper and Akaadian and I got to talk to Akaadian for a while.

I asked Akaadian who his favorite Brodie is. He was like “My favorite brodie? Hmmm...that’s a good question” and he said Zedxlol (for you guys who don’t know, he was on Team Liquid Academy with the rest of the brodies Moon and Dardoch, and they’re all really close). Then I was like, “Not Moon?” And then he was like, “Ah this is such a hard question, I love all my brodies in different ways. I guess as well it would probably be Moon, we’re really close. He’s really such a nice guy deep down.”

Looper is just so precious???? He’s so cute lmao and he’s also a shy boy >.<

Sunday

Sunday was TSM vs P1 and FLY vs TL. Sunday I also met up with @liquidhunny and her friends and it was really fun! (das us in the last photo of my photoset)

TSM vs P1

TSM played really well against P1. Oh, and let’s not forget that drink that Hauntzer spilled LOL. This matchup was really conflicting for me because in the particular matchup between TSM and P1 I’m a bigger fan of TSM and I wanted them to win, but if P1 won that mean C9 would take first place so it was like...AHHH CONFLICTING FEELINGS.

Here’s a video of the hand touching part. SRY THE CAMERA’S SMUDGY

When I took the group photo, Bjerg said hellooo to me and I was like helloo. If you look back at the group photos Sven is blinking...they took two photos and Sven was blinking in BOTH pictures OTL. Then after the group pictures, they had to leave quickly so I didn’t have much time to take selfies. I quickly found my favorite boy from TSM, Biofrost <3 and took a selfie with him. THE CAMERA ANGLE AND LIGHTING IS SO BAD BUT I DON’T CARE IT’S BIOFROST AND I’M HAPPY

Biofrost is very polite and kind of shy. He’s so cuuute >.<

And also, I would just like to say this. God DAMN Hauntzer is cute as FUCk. Jesus Christ lord have mercy. So, I’ve never been a huuuuggee fangirl of Hauntzer, just lowkey kind of liked him, but nothing crazy. BUT NOW THAT I MET HIM IRL YOU HAUNTZER FANGIRLS I FEEL YOU GUYS. I FEEL YALL. @ahriyoudoneyet I UNDERSTAND NOW. HE GOT ME SO SHOOK. WHEN HE TALKED WITH SVEN AND LAUGHED AND SMILED I WAS LEGIT ATTACKED. I WAS ATTACKED!!! HE LOOKS 1000000X BETTER IN PERSON MAN AND IT’S ALL THAT DUMB SMILE. WHEN HE SMILED I LEARNED THERE EXISTS THE BRIGHTEST SHADE OF WHITE IN ALL OF EXISTENCE RIGHT THERE IN HAUNTZER’S SMILE. CANCER WAS CURED AND WORLD HUNGER HAS ENDED. JESUS CHRIST. HE GOT LIQUIDHUNNY AND I SO SHOOK IN THAT MOMENT, I LEGIT HAD TO GRASP MY HEART AND HOLD ON TO MY LEFT BOOB FOR DEAR MERCY. TL;DR HAUNTZER’S SMILE MURDERS PEOPLE

FLY vs TL

Oh god. I just wanted both teams to have fun, as usual. I think I’m just slightly more of a Flyquest fan because I loved old C9, and also because I LOVE MOON. Fortunately after game 2 Flyquest won enough to get to playoffs, so in the 3rd game I was hoping TL would win so they would avoid relegations. Flyquest ended up winning, so I was a little happy for them, but maaan I felt so bad for Team Liquid T.T

A video of the Flyquest victory hand touching :D

lmao you can hear me saying MOOOON oh im such Moon trash

Anyways, it came time for the fan meet. And oh god, it was so painful to see TL out there. They looked incredibly depressed :(. Lourlo and Piglet seemed to be the saddest out of everyone, I really hope they cheer up ;_; Even taking the picture with them, I felt so weird because they were just so sad. You can tell they couldn’t even smile for the photos T.T

After the group photos, I didn’t want to inconvenience TL too much because of the loss, but I did just quickly ask Reignover to say hello in a video to @reignover and @yinglol, because I know how much they love Reignover xD It’s just a short little 4 second video, but hopefully it made their day.

With Flyquest, can we just take a moment to appreciate how smol Balls is? Someone gave him a flower crown to wear and he kept it on for my group photo, IM BLESSED.

After the group photos, finally, @liquidhunny and I went up to Moon. If you guys don’t know, she worked REALLY hard on a gift to give to moon which was made up of a fan art poster, a customized hat just for Moon, and I little notebook filled with notes and letters from fans. (Here’s here tumblr post about her gift)

And here is her final poster design:

ISN’T IT SO GOOD?!?! She printed me another copy of the poster THANK YOU SO MUCH AHHH

Anyways, we went up to Moon and she told him about the presents and gave it to him. Moon said it was so awesome, and then Hunny asked “Can I take a selfie with you?” and then Moon was like, “Can I hug you?” AND SHE WAS SHOOK AND I WAS SHOOK FOR HER!!! Moon hugged her, and I was so happy for her, and then Moon hugged me and i was shOOK like A;OWFEIAEWF I DONT DESERVE THIS BUT THANK YOU. You’re actually not supposed to hug the fans during the fan meet, but we didn’t even ask to hug him, HE asked Hunny if he could hug her and also hugged me!!! Ahh this was all so touching, and he’s such a nice guy.

Moon posing with Hunny’s hat gift :D

AINT DIS PHOTO SO CUTE Moon was so touched and it was overall just a super happy moment.

Moon actually thanked Hunny on twitter! AAAaaaaaahhhh

I also asked to take a selfie with moon:

I told Moon that he was like my FAAAVORITEE and I love his jungling and everything. Ahh. And HIS EYES ARE SO BEAUTIFUL ok I say this about like every pro but seriously they’re like green-hazel and just so pretty...??? That was the last pro interaction I had and it was just so great to end the day meeting my favorite player.

At the end of the event, we all took a group picture with the backgrop.

League/LCS brings people together and I’m so happy about that :D

Final Thoughts:

Overall, I had sooo much fun. It was super nice meeting @liquidhunny and all the pros.

One thing that I want to state is that: I expected that meeting all the pros would be very...perfect and happy? Idk how to explain it much, but, the reality is, pros are very, very human. Unfortunately, the losing team can get very sad, and it’s heartbreaking to see them in that state. But that’s the way that the pro scene works. Also, meeting these people in real life, you could really tell which people care about their fans a lot and are just really warm, kind, friendly, and genuine people on the inside (like I mentioned that I saw that Sneaky is like this, as well as many others). I don’t want to say or judge that the people that didn’t appear as warm as Sneaky or interact with fans much are bad people, because like I said, pros are very human and you’ll never know if they could just be having a bad day or are really down after a loss.

Also, I’m lowkey facing withdrawal LOL especially Biofrost withdrawal currently bc he was so adorable and honestly I should have looked at him more on stage >///<

Wowow what a long post and a fun weekend! I actually have the BTS concert next weekend MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THIS IT’S ALREADY BEEN DESTROYED OVER THE WEEKEND AND I’M NOT PREPARED!! AHHH!!

Thanks you guys for reading this and I hope you all can see them play in person one day!

#me #thoughts #league of legends #league #lcs #na lcs #clg #counter logic gaming #imt #immortals #cloud 9 #c9 #p1 #phoenix1 #tsm #team solomid #tl #team liquid #flyquest #fly #esports #lol esports #echo fox #fox #lol

[sambart93]

Dokkaebi / Goblin: It’s Not Bad But It’s Not Good Either [A Review. An Essay]

It’s been YEARS since I did a review on a drama but this one has so much hype that I was inspired to go back down that hole again... So I started writing this review-turned-essay after only seeing 6 episodes of it; because I was already having major problems with it, and I already knew it wasn’t going to live up to the hype for me. But first a BACKSTORY!

BACKSTORY

So the reasons why I started watching this:

1. I love Gong Yoo! 2. Everyone raves about it 3. It’s so highly rated and recognised even internationally. Any fan of Korean culture or KPop or KDramas, everyone knows and has watched this damn show. 4. It kept popping up on my netflix. 5. My coworker also wanted to see it.

But also my backstory:

1. I much prefer J-Dramas over K-Dramas 2. Me and K-Dramas do not get along for the most part. I’ve dropped so many over the past 10 or so years, and only managed to completely watch 24 in total. << compared to my JDramas which is way over 200/300 (MDL).

So now that the backstory is out of the way. Let’s get into how I feel about this show, and as the title suggests: it’s good but no where near as good as what people make it out to be. But it’s also not bad either. It’s.... meh. It’s.... alright. I have already finished this drama completely but was writing this review throughout my viewing, so great a snack and be prepared.

***DISCLAIMER: Normally I wouldn’t be this analytical or this critical on a drama for the most part, but because it’s just so god damn hyped, I just had to. Don’t hype a drama up if you don’t want it to be put under a microscope and scrutinised by others, okay?

So first lets discuss the general dismay I have with this show. 

****BTW I do have a positive section so if you really must, skip to ‘THE SPECS OF GOOD’ instead if you wish to avoid the negativity that gunna go down.

GENERAL DISMAY

I’ve read some reviews and talked to people about this show quite a bit and many places mentioned that this tv show revolutionised how K-Dramas were made after this one. But that puzzles me because there are SO MANY production problems with this show. Let me break some down for you...

(1) Pacing/Tone is a Mess. Oh boy, the pacing is so bad with this. The first episode was just perfect in every aspect in my opinions, but after that we just get episodes where the pacing is too slow; episodes where the pacing is crazy fast; then we get the ending of episodes which are like super high in tension and just have you on the edge of your seat, but then immediately in the next episode it’s gone back to just being a comedy and all fun and games - this dramas pacing and tone is just as, if not more, hormonal than EunDak herself! Sometimes she’s nice to him, or she’s ignoring him, or she’s badmouthing him in front of him to Reaper. Like make your fucking mind up how you’re going to pace and tone the drama - also stablise her fucking attitude. But I’ll get to that later... It feels like the pacing and script was very rushed in the beginning and so we lost what could’ve been good, juicy development between Goblin and EunDak, Goblin and Reaper. Which makes me so sad! I would’ve loved to have seen the boys have more of a hate-hate relationship for just a WHILE long before getting buddy-buddy. I feel like Reaper nicely agreeing to not kill EunDak happened too fast and out of character. Agreeing to is not my problem; the fact that he agreed NICELY. He definitely should’ve had more spite in him at that point of the episodes and story.

An example of pacing disasters: When shit went down at the end of episode 9 with Reaper and Soni -- omg I was so IN! I was hooked! But then in Episode 10, the tension completely deflated so quickly, and the pacing slowed and relaxed so quickly that the show got boring again.

And then the final 5 or so episodes are just all plot driven; There’s about 6 major plot points PER episode once we get to the final 5 or so eps. I loved the plot points and they were shocking but, what was the point of the previous 10 or so episodes? They were completely plotless and pointless! It would’ve been a much better drama if they’d spaced out all those lot points over the entire series rather than one massive rush at the end. << I’ve heard that this is very much Kim Eun Sook’s style. Shes all ‘nice scenes with characters for no reason’ instead of ‘the point and plot of of this scene is’. Even massive fans of the show agree with me that the pacing is just a mess for this show. And it really is.

(2) Editing/Scene-Arrangement is a Mess. There’s so many ROUGH cuts and poor editing in this show. It’s not smooth at all. It actually hurts my heart to see how sloppy it is sometimes. This also links into the scenes that take place. So many times I’d get half way through an episode and think ‘what the fuck was that previous scene about? What was the point of it? How does that scene help the story or plot move along? What the fuck is going on in this scene?! It feels like they’re only bothered to edit in HALF the story for this scene.’ I felt like there were major things being cut out or major jumps were being made between scenes and such. Not only is this a pacing/script problem but I feel like maybe they did film certain scenes but then cut them out completely and it felt very obvious that they had cut them out. I don’t know how to eloquently describe it but I felt like so many scenes were HALF made or HALF edited and put into the story. The whole point of putting a scene in is so it adds to the story, to the plot or to the characters, and scenes within themselves should have a start-middle-finish, but so many times it felt like this tv show showing us just the Middle-Part of a scene; we weren’t being given a whole point, a whole story in that scene. So I was left many times thinking ‘why did they bother putting this scene in? what’s the point of it?’ Just because it was a nice scene? Just because it had their sponsors product in it? Why were so many scenes in this IN IT where they added nothing and didn’t even feel like a whole scene to begin with?! Ughhh...

☆The last twelve minutes of Episode 7 perfectly shows the disaster that is pacing and editing.

☆The beginning of episode 8 perfectly illustrates the mess that is editing continuity.

☆The ending to Episode 9 and the first part of Episode 10 is perfectly showing the mess that is the tone of the show.

(3) The Product Placement is terrible. It’s glaring obviously, it’s so cringely done and it really feels like they spent MORE time trying to fix the products in place so their logo could be perfectly seen, rather than what the fuck their actors were doing and what the script said. It’s actually disgusting; I am actually disgusted in how much effort was put into product placement in this show rather than the actual story or the actor. 

☆A good example: in End of Episode 7 / Beginning of Episode 8 we our two main characters wearing the EXACT SAME SWEATER. She is supposed to be a poor 19-year-old high schooler, how the fuck can she afford the same sweater as him?! We haven’t seen him getting her any clothing; only those gifts before he was supposed to die, giving her breakfast, and the bedroom decorating. There are no implications that he’s also buying her clothes -- or are we just to assume that he’s buying and providing fucking everything for her? <<< again, if they’d spend more time on the fucking script(!)...

☆Another example is that fucking BAMBOO PANDA towel. So many scenes with this fucking towel that it’s ANNOYING! So there’s one scene where Gong Yoo has clearly gotten out of the shower and the towel is just flat over his head, but the logo is glaringly front and center in the shot! Then he ruffles his hair with it and pulls the towel around his neck -- which for a normal person means the logo is hidden cos it’d been scrunched up -- but immediately we get a slightly farther shot of him and magically that logo is lying perfectly flat on his shoulder/chest and again front and center of the shot!

I swear to fucking god they spent MORE time arranging the logos and products in place in every damn shot rather than ANYTHING else on this show. It just makes me feel bad for the actors. I can just imagine ‘Yes great shot, great acting Gong, but the logo was off camera slightly, so let us rearrange it and we’ll take that shot one more time, and don’t touch your towel this time.’ you KNOW this fucking went down and it just hurts to think it did!

Other reviews and critiques on this show had put emphasis on the product placement being a problem. As well as:

(4) The Cinderella Syndrome: I don’t have AS much of a problem with this as other people do. But I do think it should be addressed, especially when it comes to how I feel about Goblin and EunDak’s relationship. But first, let’s think back to episode 1/2 when EunDak was essentially on her own; she went to school, did her homework, she got up, cooked breakfast; she was very capable of looking after herself. Jump about 6/7 episodes; she no longer cooks, she BARELY offers to clean the dishes even when BOTH of them (Goblin and Reaper) are giving their meals to her. And when was the last time we saw her study or even go to school? When was the last time she cared about anything else than her ‘romantic life’? << I don’t know about other people, but I remember when I was about 16/17, and I knew I really wanted to go to university so I made the conscious decision of ‘it’s going to distract me from my studies so I just ain’t gunna do it’ which is why I decided to stop working part-time, and to stop dating for almost the rest of my education from that point on. But seems like I was a lot more mature and future thinking than EunDak... because she just doesn’t seem to be showing any passion in her studies, she doesn’t seem to really want to study anything - we’ve seen her mention wanting to be a Radio Director all of TWICE in the first 10 episodes. TWICE. That is a girl that doesn’t really care about continuing her education at all. Again, could just be the script and the directors fault because this IS supposed to be a ‘romance’ drama, but I just think it’s so degrading and gives the wrong idea if we see Romance being the main or entirety of a young girl’s life. ANYWAY going back to the main point: in the beginning we’re clearly show how independent and resilient she is at the beginning, but at the drop of the hat she no longer does anything for herself or for others. She very quickly became selfish and self-centered the moment she moved into his house! It looks like all she cares about now is him and the gifts he gives her. Also remember that scene they first went to Subway after the movie, and she’s like ‘oh sorry, I can’t afford to buy one’ WHERE THE FUCK DID YOUR MONEY GO?! As far as I’m aware: you were getting a wage from the chicken shop; school fees are either paid annually or by semester so a payment wasn’t due around this time; you don’t have to pay for any rent or food at home: SO WHERE THE FUCK IS YOUR MONEY?! Also, you’re fucking 18/19 years old! How about your open your fucking hand and paying for HIM for once?! Ughhhh... Seriously, her attitude SUCKS. As mentioned above; she’s ALL OVER the place and she’s really not all that nice to Goblin at all. She’s over 18 years old yet she’s acting like someone who’s 13 and just hit puberty for the first time. JESUS. Get your shit together.

But this links into my next comment which is:

(5) That’s NOT a Romantic Relationship; That’s a Father/Daughter relationship. I don’t care if you disagree; you are wrong (jokes though, you can believe what you will).

It’s weird seeing it or having it anything other than a father / daughter relationship. Examples: He paid for her hospital, he gave her a place to stay, he redecorated her room, he paid for her university fees, he gives her presents for things like passing exams, he pats her on the head. THAT IS A PARENT! That is a parental role! That is not a romantic love interest! The most he’s ever said about her is ‘you’re cute’, he’s never shown any other physical or actual attraction towards her. And her? She never states what she likes in him and when she does, it’s only about his appearance. It’s just an infatuation and schoolgirl crush that she has on him. Nothing more. On top of that, she shows no fucking remorse or appreciation for the fact he AND Reaper are giving her a home, a family, a place to sleep, food, an education etc. Neither of them have ANY grounds to romantically like each other AT ALL.

This drama would have been more mind-blowing, much more meaningful, would’ve had a much better message if it had been a father-daughter-you-don’t-have-to-be-related-by-blood relationship. It would have been much more amazing if: by taking care of her, giving her a safe home, giving her a family, giving her a parent regardless of being non-blood related, and then in return she could see the sword and give him his eternal peace, would have been so much more heart-filling, so much more heart-wrenching, so much more meaningful, so much more moving! I totally would’ve been down for a Lost Adopted Lamb story line SO MUCH MORE than this messed up, groundless, pretty pedophilic feeling romance. Tell me I’m wrong, I dare you.

Which also leads onto:

(6) The lack of chemistry between the two MCs is just atrocious. I didn’t feel any connection, any natural flow between their movements, nothing that told me these two actors have any chemistry, which made the characters seem even more unnatural and awkward and icky to watch. I still feel like we had this HUGE lack of character and relationship development between those two too! It really does feel like a father / daughter relationship than a romantic one. Seeing them kiss is just ‘ew’.

And speaking of relationships:

(7) Reaper and Soni’s relationship is very Childish. It’s 1 dimensional for a long time. I understand that: because they know each other from a past life they don’t need that much substance for a connection BUT(!), I feel like for a GOOD chunk of Reaper and Soni’s relationship, they were only interested in each other because of their looks. Of course, slowly Reaper’s dorkiness and the fact he was clearly trying to answer her properly and trying to make an effort came through, but in the beginning, it felt like he only liked her because of her looks and vice-versa. We the audience were shown how amazing she is personality wise, and yes he did fall for her more when he was invisibly stalking her (because that’s what it is: stalking. It’s creepy, it’s in no way romantic), but I don’t think that's enough to validate their ‘adult’ romance. And when Soni did try to make it more ‘adult’ and he couldn’t do it, he rejected her, which led to them breaking up - which makes complete sense and she’s in the right. And definitely ignore the whole ‘oh they’re meant to be together because of fate and their past-lives’ bullshit. A good chunk at the beginning of their relationship was that they’re only interested because both of them are good looking, and it’s only til a while later that they are exposed to each other’s personality. That’s not an adult romantic relationship in my opinion. But you can totally disagree.

And don’t get me wrong I fucking LOVE them as a couple. I ship them SO HARD (minus in their next life because they fucking suck in that final episode life!). And I love their chemistry and their scenes together and seeing Reaper all mushy for her and trying so hard is just so fucking adorable!! I DO LOVE IT! But you gotta admit; there wasn’t substance actually between them for a long time.

Similarly:

(8) The Dramatics and The Illogics. I’m so not here for it. I lost my absolute shit during the massive car crash that Goblin caused and the stupid Snowboarding incident. 

Seriously, in Episode 9: you knew that the snowboards were going to fall down in dramatic fashion, causing the shelf and skates to fall onto her -__- but it was WAY OVER dramatic, she could’ve moved in time but ‘for drama’ her reactions were way to slow. Also the fact that after that scene, the shelter was completely closed without anyone ever going back in after that guy left! You’d notice the shelves had fallen down, you would’ve noticed! It was barely mid-day when she handed in the snowboard and the accident happened. You’re telling me; managers and such at a ski resort don’t do one last look around before closing shit for the day?! BULLSHIT!! But it’s a ‘k-drama’ so apparently logic and common sense is supposed to be ignored.

They were SO over the top, so dramatic, so illogical, so unrealistic, so ridiculous, that it made me angry. They were absolutely bonkers! How is that a well written script?! I understand ‘but it’s a show! It’s a romance! Suspend your disbelief! Just enjoy it!’ but like, these incidents were FAR TOO out of the way (in what should’ve been a normal realistic world minus two extra types of creatures) for me to “just enjoy”. They were absolutely ridiculous and just hurt my brain rather than be enjoyable. It’s just too over the top for my liking. It can have it’s charm - especially if it’s a rom-com tv show - but for this one, it’s just... ridiculous. Too much.

(9) The Biastry in the Fandom; and this ain’t the fandom’s fault at all! But I just noticed, while talking to others who had seen the show: only those who have seen the show, are the ONLY ONEs who have seen the show. It seems like those that hated the show, never even got past episode 3, and dropped it completely. So that HEAVILY explains why the only reviews I see for this show are ridiculously positive all the time/ Because those that didn’t like it, didn’t like it straight away and gave up completely. I think I’m one of the few people who doesn’t/didn’t necessarily like it but stuck through it. And it DOES have it’s good moments; it does. But they’re so few and far.

(10) Not all characters were given justice. This is just a personal preference of mine but I wish Doek Hwa had had more screen time and development. I loved his character from day one; he was a sassy child and then when he grew up, he was spoilt but was also very loving towards people and very open and tried to help when he could. He’s a sweetie. But he literally has the smallest fucking role for 11 episodes -- I don’t think he even featured in over half of them(!) -- yet we get to episode 12 and all of a sudden we have this massive switch up, plot twist with him and suddenly he’s become all super important and has been possessed by a god this whole time(?!) -- oh please fuck off! Give him the appropriate and proper screen time, AND the character development he deserves before doing that god bullshit on me! He deserved better than this! If he was going to be this major plot point or major important character, give him some more screen time from the start! Give him more development rather than every other line we hear from him is ‘where’s my credit card?’. Seriously, what the fuck script writers?!  I know some people have tried to defend his lack of screen time as ‘oh but he’s in a boyband and he was touring at the time’ then don’t fucking hire THAT actor then! Give me someone who’s going to fucking be there. NO EXCUSE! GIVE US THE DOEK HWA WE DESERVE!!

Another person is Grandpa Yoo; around episode 9 we’re left with a scene of him in the hairdressers and it’s HEAVILY implied that he is going to die soon, and Goblin realises that day at his house too. But then he doesn’t show up again! It’s all explained by the characters and it’s all off screen and not shown at all when he dies 2 episodes later! What the fuck is that all about?! Don’t introduce a sudden ‘ooohhh things aren’t looking good for him’ type vibe and then completely ignore this plot line for episodes, AND THEN when you come back around to it, don’t have him die off screen! It would’ve been better if he’d died there and then in that last scene we got of him! Address it straight away motherfuckers.

Oooohhhh and that STUPID Tehi plotline. What was the fucking point of that?! He gets introduced like he’s going to be a big threat to Goblin, he gets about two scenes with EunDak who clearly likes him and then that’s it! He’s almost never mentioned again for the rest of the drama! Goblin magically gets over his jealously within like 5 seconds, and EunDak forgets her long childhood feelings for him as soon as he’s not physically on screen - seriously, what was the fucking point introducing him if you’re not going to give him a juicy storyline of getting in the way of their disgusting-feeling romance?

ANOTHER is EunDak’s mother’s friend! She is literally a ghosts that has all about 20 seconds or something of screen time and you expect us to get all emotional when all of a sudden it’s revealed that she is EunDak mother’s friend and saved all these bank books for her and stuff. OH PLEASE! If you want me emotionally invested maybe you should, oh I don’t know, give her decent screen time! Let us SEE the relationship between the two of them actually develop! OH and her stupid mother fucking school friend! Who ISN’T her friend by the way!!! She turned up at her house and started talking to EunDak as soon as she learnt they were going to the same uni; that is NOT friendship! That’s called ‘making friends so you can use them for your own gain’ type of shit. If you wanted EunDak and her to have a proper friendship then AGAIN: FUCKING SHOW IT AND GIVE US MORE SCREEN TIME OF THEM TOGETHER! And develop that relationship!! They spoke all of like 4 lines between themselves before the 9 year gap. OH and all of a sudden 9 years later they often go to Soni’s place and drink together?! FUCK OFF. A lawyer and a radio director? There’s no way she would’ve had time during her law studies to make time for people outside of her class and internship. NO TIME. That is bullshit. They have nothing in common. Nothing to link them together (besides going to the same uni) because she practically ignored EunDak for most of their school life so them being classmates doesn’t count for shit! That is the most 1 dimensional friendship bullshit I have ever seen! They don’t even seem comfortable talking to each other in the 9 years later episodes either!! My god.

There are SO MANY god damn loose plotlines and untapped potential in so many characters in this!

(11) Goblin doing a 160. I know that like over 900 years you’d naturally get used to that current time’s society and that current time’s rules and how people live but... the way he speaks can’t be the ONLY thing that stayed ingrained in him from the beginning. 900 years ago men would’ve been SO MUCH MORE conservative and it just really surprised me how quickly he turned into a little school girl within episodes of meeting her. It really surprised me how open he was with his feelings. Yes he was probably influenced by the 900 years he’s been living in but surely there would’ve been SOME things he just couldn’t change about himself. Many men; past and present still struggle to be open with their feelings, especially towards the women they love. A LONG time ago it was very much ‘you will be my wife’ and that’s that which I kind of expected from him. This man has killed hundreds and thousands of people; how does he not have PTSD? How does he not struggle, even 900 years later, to trust not only other people but himself? How is he not struggling with a ‘I killed so many so I don’t deserve to be treated well’ complex? He just felt TOO modern to say he’s been alive for 900 years. Even those of us who live on 40, 50, 60 years are SO ingrained with what we’ve been educated on and brought up with, that even tens of years later, we still can’t easily destroy or throw away certain beliefs or personality traits or internal thoughts we have been taught or we’ve had. And that is why I REALLY struggle with how ‘modern day’ Goblin is. Stuff from 900 years ago should still be with him now. And it’s just not shown or brought up on screen at all.

Now for the final problem child:

(12) My GOD that Ending was a MESS. First of all, all it takes is her to really need someone and blow out a candle to bring him back? That’s all?! He suffered 9 years in that desert, snow wasteland but all he needed to get back was that?! ALSO WHY did you not make him age once he got back to earth?! I was SO looking forward to him waking up one day, looking in the mirror and being like ‘OH SHIT I have a white hair!’ but that doesn’t happen so... he stays immortal for ever? ............. please fuck off. He should’ve come back mortal and after EunDak’s death, he should’ve gone old, died and then in the next life they should’ve met and properly been together! But NOOOOOOOO they kept him immortal, so when they meet again, EunDak is on her second life. So that means after three more lives and two more deaths, she’s no longer around. SO WHAT THE FUCK IS HE GUNNA DO?! HOW THE FUCK IS HE SUPPOSED TO SURVIVE ONCE SHE’S GONE FOR GOOD? The script writer, Ms Kim, is stupid as FUCK. Seriously. Why would you choose that for an ending?! 

There was literally a point while watching this show where I just stopped the show and out-loud just said ‘Ms Kim really should to quit her day job.’ That’s how awful this story and script it to me.

And I already mentioned but they seriously fucked up Soni and Reaper’s personalities in their 3rd life. They were absolutely HORRIBLE. It ruins them completely. And they rushed through it too! There were about 15 minutes left of the show, the final episode and they just rushed the entire 30-or so years later within that shot amount of time. I seriously think a WHOLE episode needed to be dedicated to the 30-years-or-so-later part.

And I will stop my points THERE.

Some people have told me that this show changed the way KDramas were produced and created after this one, but my question... HOW?! How did this show ‘revolutionise’ or change the way K-Dramas were made?! Was it just the high quality of the show that changed them?! <<< which I’ve clearly proved, it is not high quality at all. It has so many flaws that just show how poorly managed, shot and produced this drama was... so please tell me.

***I am definitely open to be proven wrong in any and all of these points above, but seriously; where did this show change KDramas?! Where did this show become so amazing?! Why does this show deserve all this ridiculous hype?

Sigh...

NOW FOR POSITIVES!

So here are the small amount of positives I have for this show.

THE SPECS OF GOOD

(1) The theme song is good! (Just not when you watch all the episodes in less than 2 weeks like I did).

(2) It has a really good, really strong star. Episode 1 is PERFECT!

(3)  It does have some very funny moments.I did chuckle in some places. The comedy in this show is good. This scene is definitely one of my favourites, but NOT because of the MCs, but because Reaper is just a witness to the madness and his blank expression is hilarious.

(4)  Some moments REALLY GOT me in the feels! When Soni grabbed Reapers hand and he had the flashbacks of her -- my god that was INTENSE and I was freaking out! A lot of Soni and Reaper scenes did have me crying. Especially when she chose to walk away from him --- because WE KNOW he’s a good boy, but he just wouldn’t open up to her!

Another moment that got to me was: The scene with the mother and the daughter at Reaper’s place, and the mother is like ‘oh we came to this cafe and ordered the drink called ‘heaven’’ ugghhhh it hurt! It hit me right in the feels! Another Reaper House moment was when the blind man was reunited with his dog that had clearly waited for him this entire time.. UGHHH GOOD DOGGIE!! I’m dead!!! And ANOTHER was when the War Grandpa had waited his whole life for his wife to be to die so they could be together again. But he had died in war or super young and she’d had her whole life but hadn’t forgotten about him. I cried a LOT ---- these two had more depth and character development and a whole story in those FEW minutes than like Goblin and EunDak did the entire show!

(5)  The ridiculous bromance between Goblin and Reaper - it was GOLD. Yes, I really would’ve liked more tension and hatred between them in the begin and that being a bit more extended would’ve been nice, but their bromance after that is just GOLD. I love them two. I ship them SO HARD. I ship them WAY MORE than Goblin and EunDak.

(6) While it was predictable; I really like that the whole concept of ‘if you don’t die, she will’ plotline. I was totally all in for this story line. Granted it didn’t turn out how I wanted it but the concept itself was really good.

(7) The locations in this drama are very beautiful and very well chosen. They all look great --- but then the excessive product placement ruins a lot of them. But Quebec was beautiful and the flower field was beautiful and their house was gorgeous!

ANNNND BACK TO THE BAD FOR A TAD!!!

THE MINUTE DETAILS

And now allow me to be SUPER pedantic but here are super small things that really pissed me off:

When EunDAk said ‘Saranghae’, I just sighed. She doesn’t love him. She is INFATUATED. 

There was one moment where EunDak gets beers ready in the store and then walks off to give them to customers, but there’s no fucking other customers in the store during that scene!!! WTF she go with those beers?! xD

Oh and GOD I hate. hate, hate, hated her ‘tehe’ breathly laugh/scoff SO MUCH!

OH WHAT I WOULD CHANGE

During episode 10 I had a revelation: I realised JUST how a billion, million, trillion times better this show would’ve been IF = it had just been the three of them: Kim, Kim and Kim! If it had been more about them slowly meeting, learning their fates with each other and developing bromance and romance and such relationships, OMG it would have been FUCKING amazing! And the Goblin finding his ‘end’ could’ve been more like a ‘towards the end of the show’ thing rather than at the start and rather than as the main plot. I would watch the SHIT out of a WHOLE tv show just about the bromance and the Soni/Reaper romance. Fuck the MC romance that actually happens! OMG I am SO sad at how amazing it could’ve been if they had removed HER or made her a minor instead. OMG I’m so sad.

Either THAT or give me that damn Father-Daughter ‘you don’t need to be blood related to be family’ plot line instead that I mentioned earlier PLEASE!!!

EXTRAS

A friend who LOVES this tv show, luckily commented that ‘they fucked up the main story so soon and so easily that they had to focus and develop the side characters and that’s why they’re so great.’ which made me so happy that even someone who’s a huge fan of the show even admits the main plotline is and was always a mess.

Sigh....

SO

IN CONCLUSION

This show has some good points. It has some really charming points. It has some great moments. But overall; this show does not deserve the hype and the praise and the attention it gets. The plot, the editing, the script, the story, the character development is a mess. It gets nothing more than a 3-4/10 from me. I’m glad I experienced, I’m glad I got on the hype train and discovered what it was all about but it really wasn’t worth my time. Sorry, not sorry.

Like I said! You are totally open and free to persuade, me other wise! I am open to hearing your opinions and proving me wrong!

REFERENCES

Goblin (MDL) (as of writing, it had a 9.0 average rating) Reviews 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 Video Reviews Articles 1, 2, 3, 4, 5,6  My Opinions and “Expertise” (< seriously, don’t take this seriously) comes from  the fact I’ve seen over 800 tv shows and movies in 4 different countries (USA, England, Japan, Korea); the fact I LOVE movies and TV; that I always watch and read about the BTS makings and how a movie or TV show is produced and created etc.

#goblin #guardian the lonely and great god #dokkaebi #kdrama #review #drama review #dorama review

[suburbangothc]

Hoooo boy, okay, this is a big one.

I have so many issues with people calling Noorhelm abusive and problematic.  I think a lot of their examples of abuse or problematic issues are completely misinterpreted scenes that they’re skewing to fit their own agenda.  Let’s start at the beginning shall we?

I was listening to 90’s music while I wrote this so every section is named after 90’s song titles, just go along with it.  Also this is like term paper long so if you make it to the end I commend you.

Lovefool, or The Vilde Issue

So a lot of people have a ton of issues toward William’s actions when it comes to Vilde.  So let’s start at the beginning of their interactions.  Here we have William, someone who obviously engages in casual sex with girls he meets, not really starting friendships with them but is respectful to them nonetheless.  Then we have Vilde, someone who is a virgin but is interested in the social climbing that would come with losing her virginity to William.

Vilde made it clear from the start that she was only looking to lose her virginity to William because he was the coolest, most handsome guy in 3rd year.  When talking to Noora and Eva she made it a point to tell them it didn’t matter how well she knew him, he’d be perfect because he’s popular and gives girls orgasms on their first time.  Only afterwards when he was nice and sweet to her during her first time, which is how everyone should act on a one night stand, did she become obsessed.  

Another issue people have is that William didn’t wear a condom when they had sex.  Do I think that it’s incredibly idiotic to not wear a condom, ESPECIALLY if you’re participating in casual sex with multiple partners?  Uh, of course it is.  Like wtf you doing William???  But do I think that that Vilde had the ability to say, “No I only practice safe sex”?  Of course she did!  This idea that Vilde had no control over the situation is a ridiculous notion.  She could’ve just gotten up and left once he said he didn’t have sex with condoms.  She chose to risk it.  It was a stupid choice, but it was HER choice.  Also, people have said Vilde was so drunk she couldn’t walk and I’m like l o l okay girl was like chugging from a wine bottle at the party in the 5th episode, I think she can handle a glass of wine.  She was perfectly in control of her actions & thoughts the entire scene we see her in, and she leaves right after that.

Another issue I see people have is that William treated Vilde like garbage after they had sex, which isn’t true.  When he saw her afterward at school he said hello while passing by.  He didn’t shame her around school, he didn’t talk trash to his friends about her.  He treated her like all the other girls he had casual sex with, which is perfectly fine since there’s nothing wrong with having casual sex, and casual sex was Vilde’s intention in the first place.  I also don’t believe that Vilde’s evolving obsession with William really should have any affect on how William lives his life after their tryst.  If this were the other way around, and William developed obsessive feelings for Vilde, but she didn’t like him romantically, and she kissed another boy at a party, would we really be having this same discussion?

The scene where William tells Vilde she’s not good enough, we have to remember that she approached him with the intent on humiliating him and embarrassing him.  She wanted to gain back her dignity by making him feel small and like an asshole for basically treating her like he treats every other girl he’s been with, which is not hostile, not with disrespect, but like a very casual acquaintance.  I don’t understand why this is an issue, seeing as they don’t actually KNOW one another, and neither of them were interested in getting to know the other beforehand.  The difference between her and the other girls is she’s built this delusion in her head that their time together meant more than either of them intended it to, which, y’know, happens to a lot of people who think they can keep sex casual but can’t.  It’s not really a flaw of Vilde’s, but it’s also not William’s fault she developed these feelings.  This is also not me excusing his remark, because it was a pretty douche move.

Where in the School Yard is Noora Sætre?  (does anyone know this show)

After the “you’re not good enough,” line, we see Noora stand up the way Vilde wanted to and completely destroy William.  Instead of upsetting him though, he immediately becomes interested in this blonde girl who stood up to him in a way nobody else would dare to.

Now we get to the part where people call him a “stalker”, which honestly makes me laugh cause…okay.

Let’s break it down into the times William actually talked to her before she goes on a date with him:

First Scene: Justin Bieber Scene.

Okay, so here we have Eva and Noora sitting on a park bench literally in front of William’s car.  He comes up behind her, asks her to come home and do homework with him (smooth), she laughs and calls him Wilhelm for the first time as a suppression technique she learned from Suits, says she’ll call him an asshole if she can call him whatever she wants, he laughs and then walks to his car to leave.  Like, his car is right there, was he supposed to walk a different way to it?

Second Scene: School Stairwell.

So we’re two for two in the places they meet being at school.  I feel like the antis never went to high school?  You run into the same people a lot in the hallways btw.  So stalking now means walking down the stairs in the common building of your school and running into someone and stopping to talk to them.  Cool.

A lot of people have issue with this scene in general saying that it’s manipulative of him, but throughout this entire scene she’s making fun and laughing (at his expense but whatever).  I see a lot of people misquote what William says as, “To get rid of me you have to go on a date with me,” which is…not what he says lol.  William doesn’t really know Noora at this point, but he can tell when something’s a game, and this is a game.  She’s not demanding he leave her alone, she’s not blocking his number.  She’s smiling and making fun of him, sure, but her challenging nature is what drew him in in the first place.  What he DOES say is, “So If you really wanna get rid of me, just go on a date with me.”  I honestly think if she had said this to him, “Listen asshole, it’s never gonna happen, so leave me the fuck alone,” and walked away that s2 would never have happened.  I think he sees this as a playful game between the two of them, but if she ever truly told him to leave her alone that he would.

Then she asks if that’s all, and he says, “Fucking hell, you’re so beautiful,” and he got this girl Shook™.  The girl who always has something to say is s p e e c h l e s s, smiling and looking at her friend.  We see him not expecting that response, but delighted that it happened.  I think it not only shows to him, but to the audience, that his attention is not unwanted from her.  That him telling her she’s beautiful is a good thing to her, even if for just a moment.  She smiles as she passes by him, lightly bumping into his shoulder, and he says, “Just tell me what I should do!”  To me, all of this is incredibly playful banter.

Let’s get into the next part that I feel is the biggest misconception of their entire relationship:

Can’t Fight the Moonlight, or The Deal + The Date (honestly listen to this song lmfao it’s william to noora)

So while we don’t actually see the deal going down (s1 is from Eva’s POV so unless she’s there we don’t see things happening), we can properly assume that the deal was Noora’s idea.  At the end of their last interaction, he yells out “Just tell me what I should do!”, and then she goes to the school doc and finds out that Vilde just has gas from her weird breakfast of diet coke and gum (????? lmao).  When Noora tells her she knows what Vilde is doing in terms of her eating habits, Vilde brings up the “but not good enough.”  The camera pans to Noora’s face after Vilde leaves, and you can tell her thinking cap was just placed on her head (lol).

A lot of people blame William for Vilde’s slow descent into almost having an eating disorder, but I can let you now as someone who has HAD an eating disorder that that is NOT how that works.  One comment isn’t going to break you like that, especially since eating disorders are based on your own perception not other people’s, as well as consistent pressures put on you (dancers, models, etc).  I had plenty of people telling me I looked awful how thin I was, but it just wasn’t thin enough for ME.  We also never see Vilde eat before the 8th episode, so we have absolutely no idea what her eating habits were like before as a base line.

I see SO many people saying that he forced and manipulated Noora into their first date but…like…are we watching the same show?  A deal was made between the two of them, William had to apologize to Vilde, and then Noora would go on a date with him.  Like I said, we don’t actually see the deal going down, but we can assume Noora was the one who brought up the deal.  Why would William, who we know from their first date thinks that him apologizing to Vilde was a terrible idea, go up to Noora and say, “If you go out on a date with me I’ll apologize,”?  No.  What makes all the sense in the world is if Noora went up to him and told him that if he apologizes to Vilde she will go out on ONE date with him.  He immediately apologizes to Vilde at the Christmas party (I honestly don’t think he really meant what he said to her before, he was just trying to get her to leave him alone), and then the season ends.

Now jump to two and a half MONTHS later, and we’re at the beginning of season 2.  So for the last two and a half months Noora has been evading fulfilling her side of the bargain.  This part is what makes me kinda mad when people talk about William manipulating Noora, when it actually up until this point she was the one who manipulated him.  She had a problem (she wanted to fix Vilde), and she figured out a way to use someone’s feelings and emotions to get her way (even though she should know William apologizing isn’t enough to fix ingrained self-hatred and low self-esteem).  She used William’s feelings toward her to get what she wanted, with no intention of following through with the deal.  That is kinda shitty.

It’s further shown to me to be a game in between the two of them, especially with the “you lose” text at the end.  I honestly think the thing she’s most upset about in that moment is that if they go to a party Vilde is gonna find out and think something is going on between them.  Then at the end of the episode we get him trying to contact Noora, and she keeps ignoring his call.  He then calls Vilde, and all the antis freak out about what an asshole he is for manipulating her.  Once again, they made a deal.  He made good on his side of the deal, and she’s been avoiding hers for two and a half months.  If she really wanted it to be like it was no big deal, she should’ve just gone out with him to make good on the deal, deleted his number, and never talked about it again.  Do I think that using his connection to Vilde to get Noora to finally commit to a date was a little shady?  Sure.  Do I think what she did was shadier?  Yes.

Then we go on the actual date, and she’s resisting everything (which we knew she’d do), and then they finally get to talking after William weirdly talks about his grandma’s blue room (lmao I honestly would’ve said the same thing as Noora).  I honestly think they’re both a little wrong in this moment, but that’s okay.  I feel like he did pressure her some to finally commit to what she promised, but all the drama wouldn’t have happened if she would’ve just committed in the first place.  I understand where he’s coming from in terms of what he said to Vilde, like I still don’t know if I particular agree as I think just like a harsh toned “leave me alone” would’ve sufficed lmao, but I get the idea that no matter what he said would hurt her because of how obsessed she became.

I also completely understand what he’s saying about how Vilde came to HIM, as I’ve stated earlier.  I’ve seen people talk about how he like lead Vilde on and how he never told her they weren’t going to be together, and I’m like when the hell did he say they WOULD be together?  All I can think is people who think that way obviously hold prejudice against people who involve themselves with casual sex, and I think that’s gross.  Sexuality is a personal thing, and as long as the two people are consenting then that’s their business.  Like I said before, Vilde went into that tryst looking for a casual, hot dude to lose her virginity to to get it out of the way in a social climbing way.  More power to her, but you can’t think it’s okay for her to be like that, but it’s not okay for William to have consenting sex with multiple partners.

I think a lot of people misunderstand him when he asks Noora, “Does that make you good?  Does that make you fair?”  The entire scene with Vilde was a call-out scene, with each person intending to humiliate the other person.  Vilde tried to humiliate William, who in turn humiliated her, and Noora finished the job.  All of them had the intent of hurting the other, so what makes Noora’s justified?  Is it okay to hurt someone if it’s justified in righteousness?  As much as we love that call out she does, he’s technically right, it’s not fair for her to feel in the right when all she did is exactly what Vilde and William did.  This is the beginning of him asking why she feels certain ways, and then flipping the script and playing devil’s advocate and making her really think about how she is viewing the situation.

So then after their date, we get the Shook™ slow-mo scene, and then her at his party.  The only thing I can think of that needs to be talked about other than she o b v i o u s l y likes him at this point and is one of the best parts of the entire season is the fact that this is another instance where he’s playing devil’s advocate with her beliefs, trying to make her think in regards to calling his mom a name (which I called my mom like everything under the sun when I was a teenager, I don’t understand this as an issue but okay).

Hey Jealousy, or Sold (The Oslo County Auction Incident) (i’m sorry)

Then we get to episode 5, i. e. where Noora is insanely jealous and is grumpy 24/7.  A lot of people have an issue with the entire premise of him telling her that he’ll donate 20% to the refugees if she just shows up at a party.  There’s no other qualifications, nothing he’s demanding of her.  He simply gives an incentive to just show up to a party she would probably get dragged to by her friends anyways.  Would a perfect person just plan on donating the 20% to refugees without ulterior motives?  Sure.  Is William a perfect person?  No.  Is anyone on this show perfect?  Not in the slightest.

Most of this episode is her struggle with accepting that something’s there between the two of them, and she decides to go with her heart (yay).  Someone said that he was dramatic for leaving the party, but I mean if the person you really, really liked just straight up looked in your eyes and was like, “I don’t like you,” you’d wanna go home too.  Like, why is he supposed to act like it means nothing to him?

Champagne Super-Violence (just let it happen guys I’m not gonna stop)

So let’s talk about violence.

Is it cool that William hit that guy with a champagne bottle?  Maybe not the wisest thing to do.  People seem to have more of an issue with the way he views violence.  This is another instance where both of them are wrong, and that’s okay.  She is seeing things way too idealistic.  To be honest, he’s right, her viewpoint on how to handle someone like a street gang of teenagers is pretty naive.  BUT they should’ve tried the police FIRST.  The moment the gang attacked Chris, Jonas, and that other dude (lol) with KNIVES and beat Jonas bloody, the police should’ve been the first place they went.  

Violence should always be the last resort, but sometimes violence is a necessary evil.  As someone who has Donald Trump as their president, and sees him inflicting serious harm to innocent people with defunding sanctuary cities, building border walls, and laying groundwork for mass deportation, you start to see how our fight for freedom from injustice, bigotry, and hate could turn into one where violence is necessary.  Sometimes sit ins, marches, and chats don’t do what they’re intending to do.

I think the Sana/Noora talk is very important, and I answered about it in an ask right (here).

Don’t Speak, or When William Went Radio Silent (all 90’s references yah)

A lot of people like to assume that William’s reaction to Noora after she tells him she doesn’t know if she had sex with his brother is because he blames her for what happened.  I assume people who think this do not know this character, and have never had a moment where everything is so wrong you feel like you want to throw up, die, and punch someone all at the same time.

Let’s backtrack.  Noora, during this whole time, should’ve told William.  She should’ve called him the moment she left his house and told him she blacked out at his house and woke up with his brother.  Word of advice to everyone: JUST TELL PEOPLE THE TRUTH.  Lying does nothing but hurt, both you and the person you’re lying to.  This is of course in perfect person world, and Skam is not perfect person world.  It’s full of real people and real feelings, and when you’ve been sexually assaulted, your world isn’t really even reality.  

Since Noora did not tell William, she did not get control over what he heard, nor did he hear her side of the story first.  We all know that Nico made up some sick af story about what happened, and with his naked picture of Noora as proof, William believes it because it’s his worst nightmare but he’s been expecting his brother to ruin the thing that’s so precious to him.  He’s had a lifetime of dealing with Nico destroying his happiness.  He believed it kinda like how Noora completely believed Nico when he went on and on about how William will never change and he’s cheating on her and he’s super violent because that’s her worst nightmare but she’s also expecting it because it plays up to every insecurity she has.

So when he comes up to her, this is right after he’s been told the nastiest, most wrong story of what’s happened.  When she says I don’t know, we just see him shut down.  It has nothing really to do with Noora or blaming her, but everything to do with him not being able to handle emotional pain.  He doesn’t yell at her, he doesn’t fight with her, he just shuts down and leaves.  Now, is this something that Noora needs right now?  Does he really have Noora’s best interest in mind?  No.  Is it okay to worry about yourself more sometimes when you’re really overwhelmed in a situation and need to take a break from it?  Yes.  

Y’all act like he’s supposed to be this super robot who is the perfect person with all the right moves and all the right decisions.  This ain’t the movie Her guys!!  Like, he wasn’t CREATED for her, he is a PERSON.

So many people talk about how she told him in text that it was assault and he STILL didn’t respond, but I don’t think he was kidding that his phone died while it was there, and he probably didn’t want to talk to anyone anyway.  Eva said that even Chris couldn’t get ahold of him.

When he comes back and is super cold, this is once again NOT him blaming her.  He actually never once says he blames her for what happened, or says anything to that nature, so when people say he’s a victim blamer I’m like lol what.  In the 12th episode he apologizes to her for what his brother did to her, and even when she says it wasn’t his fault, his facial expression tells all of us that he blames HIMSELF for what happened to her.

If you read the additional texts, Sana & Vilde hit the nail right on the head when they say he’s not mad at her, he’s shut down (lmfao the humanity switch).  He’s turned his emotions off and has decided that the pain of being without her is easier to deal with than the pain she could cause him.

When they meet up by Chris’ car, he’s still like this in the beginning, but once she starts talking, you can see his indecision.  You can see him fighting with himself, trying to remain stoic and aloof and failing.  It’s very much reminiscent to Noora in the 5th episode.  She’s trying to remain unaffected, but she’s as lost in him and he is in her at the end of the 11th episode.  What she’s talking about is this exterior that he presents to the world, this asshole facade that stops people from getting in and stops him from getting hurt.  She knows who he is, she knows he’s better than this, and she knows he loves her.  She just knows what it’s like to have that fight within yourself, to let yourself run the risk of being hurt to gain the benefits of being loved by someone.

To the Moon & Back, or The Aftermath (honestly the beginning of this song IS Noora if you ignore that it’s also Savage Garden)

I have talked about this e x t e n s i v e l y in my tags, but a lot of people take issue with them moving in together and I think it’s completely understandable them taking this next step so quickly.  They’re both two people from broken homes.  They’ve relied on themselves for pretty much everything for a long, long time.  Neither of them felt love in their home lives, and both have been severely neglected by their parents.  It makes sense that these two people, once they find someone they love and trust, would latch on so strongly and so quickly.  Not only do they crave the connection and attention from that person, they also crave someone who understands them.  I have a feeling that neither one of them has felt understood in a very long time.

I could go on and on about this topic forever, but if you wanna know more go scour my crying on every single noorhelm post lmfao.  In those I also pretty much talk about how William is my soft, sensitive child which he IS.

So this is the end of my thesis on their relationship and how it’s not perfect, but it’s not “abusive” or “problematic”.  I hate the term problematic because everyone is problematic.  Like it’s a word that just encompasses human beings as a species.  We ALL make mistakes.  We ALL learn from them.  This relationship isn’t abusive by any right.  It’s a REAL relationship with REAL people who have both been hurt over and over again in their lives and finally found someone to call home.

s3 is not canon to me and does not exist so I will not talk about it :)

<3

#and took me forever to do #i am not apologizing for the 90's references for the subtitles #mine #noora sætre #noora x william #noorhelm #prerna tag #this is incredibly long #william magnusson #bri's mailbox