#BUT I HAD GIVEN A SPEECH ABOUT HOW WE'RE HERE TO GROW

[jozor-johai]

Ned has this small speech in AGOT Bran I about why he must behead Gared, and I think there's some really interesting takeaways. Not about why he must do it, the part he focuses on; the part Ned doesn't focus on: why it's legal, and what that means for Gared.

"Do you understand why I did it?" "He was a wildling," Bran said. "They carry off women and sell them to the Others." His lord father smiled. "Old Nan has been telling you stories again. In truth, the man was an oathbreaker, a deserter from the Night's Watch. No man is more dangerous. The deserter knows his life is forfeit if he is taken, so he will not flinch from any crime, no matter how vile.

Ned moves our attention along to why Ned had to be his own headsman, but in just a few sentences here, we've been introduced to the paradox of law that makes this system so fundamentally unjust and broken.

We're told that "no man is more dangerous" than this deserter, so we might think, for a split second, that Ned feels he must kill the man because he is dangerous. But as Ned points out, the logic is actually the reverse: "he knows his life is forfeit if he is taken, so he will not flinch from any crime" (emphasis mine). It is not the prevalence of crime that is creating the demand for law, here, it's the existence of this extreme law that is generating the crime. Not wanting to be killed, the deserter would do anything to survive.

For Ned, the epitome of law in the North, who literally acts as judge, jury, and executioner, the tautology of the reasoning is irrelevant. The man is dangerous, now, whatever the situation. Of course, for Ned it's also really about an adherence to the laws of the Night's Watch, which is an institution as old as his house. It's their death sentence to declare, his to pass.

This time reading it, though, I was struck by how Ned's words here are an inversion to Septon Meribald's broken man speech, which is too long to relay here but ends with this:

"He turns and runs, or crawls off afterward over the corpses of the slain, or steals away in the black of night, and he finds someplace to hide. All thought of home is gone by then, and kings and lords and gods mean less to him than a haunch of spoiled meat that will let him live another day, or a skin of bad wine that might drown his fear for a few hours. The broken man lives from day to day, from meal to meal, more beast than man. Lady Brienne is not wrong. In times like these, the traveler must beware of broken men, and fear them . . . but he should pity them as well."

Septon Meribald is describing Gared here, just as much as he's describing the men at war. There isn't a mention here directly of the threat of punishment for desertion, which is more extreme with the Night's Watch than elsewhere, but the reality is the same. Here, though, Meribald's approach is entirely different than Ned's—Meribald, who walks among the smallfolk and gives away what good he can offer, has a much more understanding and empathetic view of these men.

Ned has the capacity for this understanding, but his role is simply not to have kindness here. All of the goodness and kindness Ned has otherwise just doesn't matter here, because here Ned is the law, and Ned is a lord still.

With the fact that even Ned is given this treatment, we see how rigid and unjust the laws and class structures are here. Even a "good person" is not good in Ned's position.

I think this highlights the cause behind the growing smallfolk unrest throughout the books and especially in Feast/Dance. Even the good lords, the ones who can see the problems at work here, are still lords, and still hold themselves to the status quo that keeps them in power above all else. And it takes a very different perspective—like the kind Arya has gotten, for example—to see it the way Meribald does. (Though Arya has gone the opposite route away from forgiveness... that's interesting too.)

#jozor thoughts #asoiaf meta #valyrianscrolls #jozor reread #asoiaf

[jiniretss]

The Hwangs [Gender Reveal]

pairing: Husband Hwang Hyunjin x Wife Fem!Reader

warnings: swearing and arguments

wc: 1.1k

genre: fluff and angst

summary: Hyunjin and Y/n doing a gender reveal of their sets of twins. Not knowing what would be surprising that they would be receiving a wonderful gift after the review. But soon, once all the guest has left, Hyunjin was slumped on the couch as his wife tries to wake him up leading to something unexpected in the end.

Clicks hitting the floor as her warm color heels travel to the kitchen. Opening up the fridge to gather some sweets that were in there to keep cold. "Hyunjin, congratulations." Words spoke from his friends. Seeing the view of his old band mates talking to him. Smile spread across his face as he says, "Thank you." She smiled, closing the fridge and setting down the rest of the sweets on the table. Looking at hyunjin, her feet led her way to walk over to where he was. "Hey, mom wants you to help dad set up the table for the games." Her lips moved as words spoke, standing in her pretty tight pink dress. Hyunjin wrapped his left arm around her waist as he gave a quick kiss on the cheek before doing as he was told. "Oh my gosh, Y/n. Your tummy has gotten bigger. The set of twins is crazy. Hyunjin might've gone too far." Chan stated as he chuckled from his joke. "Oh, stop it. Having the worst back pains on having twins is already tiring." She replied with a smile spreading brightly across her lips. "It's nice to see you guys again, haven't aged." She spoked with a soft tone. "Babe!" Hyunjin called out to you as you looked to see he was struggling with the hangs for the decorations. "I should get going and help my husband before he gets dramatic." Waving her soft, thin hands to the 7 men's and walking away to where Hyunjin was. "What happened?" Y/n asked with wonders, wondering how the strings of balloons fell. "Uh. Well. You see. I kinda... more like... uhh." He stuttered upon his words. "Silly goose. Just grab the other end and set it as the same height as the other end of the string is." Her chuckled made Hyunjin relief at the thought of how her temper can get really intense.

Settling the string to the other end had gotten better, except Hyunjin tripping over his feet just by getting off of the chair. "Oh my god." Y/n rubbed her eyebrows, keeping herself from laughing at the dramatic fall he made. "Okay, we should really start getting controlled of your clumsiness, babe." She laughed, helping him up off of the floor. "Do you think they'll be like their dad too?" Hyunjin questioned as the thought kept replaying in his mind, seeing if twins would be just like their father. "No, duh, they'll be just like you." Smiled shown widely, then a giggle comes up after the smile. "Let's hurry. We're going to start the gender reveal in about 5 minutes." Y/n says, as Hyunjin leaned down, giving her a soft peck on the lips before telling everyone to go to the backyard. Standing in front of the board would show if the gender would be a girl or boy. Waiting patiently for everyone to arrive in the backyard. Therefore, hyunjin stood beside her, holding onto her waist as they both smiled for the pictures. Y/n soon laughed after putting a piece of frosting onto hyunjin's nose. "Cute!" She squealed before her mother in law spoke. "Okay, is everyone here?" Hyunjin's mom asked. Everyone in the crowd shouted they were, as she began to come with a speech.

"Thank you to everyone who came to support my son and daughter in law on their pregnancy. Seeing them grow and come together as one creating 2 lives of a soul. I can't wait to see and hold them. Now, let's reveal the gender of my grandchildren!!" She shouts as Hyunjin and Y/n were given two sets of poles of tunes that'll reveal the gender. The crowd began to count down by 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, and 1. Both popping the twist to the tube as pink smoke shoots out. Her smile shines as he grabs her waist to hug her tightly as Y/n cries in happiness, holding onto Hyunjin tight while hyunjin sooths her back. With the amount of excitement explaining in the air, everyone congratulates them.

The house was messy. Cans all over the place, plates, bowls, cups, forks, spoons, trash bags being thrown in corners of the house mean while Hyunjin lying down on the couch drunk Sighing at the mess while rubbing her forehead in disbelief at her husband lying there drunk. "Hyun," she started off by tapping on his shoulder. "Hm?" He hummed. "Go sleep in our bedroom, my love. You're falling asleep on the couch." Explaining the situation, however, Hyunjin just silently fell back asleep. "Babe, come on. Go to bed." Y/n sighs again. "Come on, I don't wanna start this shit." She curssed as to going back to shake his body once again. "What?" He questioned. "Can you please go sleep in the room?" Asking again, but only to receive his snoring. "Oh my fucking god, Hwang Hyunjin, I'm not doing this shit come on get the fuck up and go to bed. It's late, your going to complain to me in the morning about why I didn't wake you up." A groan of annoyance puffed out between her lips, hoping that he listened. "Hyunjin!" Shaking his body harder as he got up and looked at him. "Do you not see me sleeping, I'm trying to fucking sleep!" Hyunjin yelled. "If your going to sleep go sleep in the god damn room, do you not hear me or not. Cause it seems like my husband here doesn't listen well." She argued back, as to sitting up and beginning to clean up the place. "I did listen to you, how many times did I said yes that I would?" His voice rage, "you know what fuck you, you wanna start talking about how your ass was saying yes. The whole entire time of me trying to wake you up just for you to sleep in the fucking room left me with no answer coming from you. So do me a favor and please go sleep in the room." She snapped as Hyunjin rolled his eyes. "Always fucking nagging." Hyunjin whispered underneath his breath. Stomping up the stairs into the room with a loud bang of the door shutting. "Stop fucking slamming the door, god dammit!!" She yelled, "I'm tired of having to- oh fuck" Y/n groaned in pain. "Hyun!" She shouts in pain.

To be continued...

tags: @annybah @softhyunieeee @4landofan @kkamismom12

#hwang hyunjin #stray kids #hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin x reader #stray kids x reader #hwang hyunjin x reader #hyunjin x reader smut #hwang hyunjin smut #skz smut #the hwangs

[tomatoland]

Force & Book's relationship is quintessential gardener-flower relationship

So the idea of the gardener-flower dynamic is not new. It's actually been around for awhile now and has been in media (for example, season 1 of Will & Grace, the movie "I, Tonya," Will Smith made a video called "Defining Love" talking about it, but more about this in a sec), articles, etc.

It's a concept that in every relationship or “garden,” one person is the gardener who tends and one person is the flower who gets tended to. There can also be two gardeners in a relationship, but never two flowers because then no one would care to tend to anything.

In their relationship, Force is the gardener and Book is the flower. And they understand this too. Force is Book's “Life Master,” right?

Force's efforts in the early days as the gardener of their relationship are well documented in the FB fandom. How he nurtured their relationship and connection when Book was too scared to engage during Enchante era due to a painful friend experience in college.

But it's not just nurture, love and care that the gardener provides to the flower and their relationship and this next part is where I think Force is an amazing and natural gardener with Book.

"The relationship that a gardener has with a flower is, the gardener wants the flower to be what the flower is designed to be — not what the gardener wants the flower to be. You want the flower to bloom and to blossom and to become what IT wants to be, you want it to become what God designed it to be. You’re not demanding that it become what you need it to be for your ego.” -Will Smith

Whatever Book does, Force is his Number 1 supporter.

"Geng mak" or good job/well done is the unofficial foxmochi cheer because Force is always telling Book this after he performs or speaks or even illogically when they are playing on separate teams lol.

Book's love language is words of affirmation and Force always lets Book know because he knows this. And now Book tells Force this back. And foxmochis tell them both at events and appearances.

You might think this dynamic is unfair or unbalanced to the gardener because you would think that being flower is easy. The flower just exists and receives love and attention, but these were interesting insights I read about why being the flower can actually be hard. First, you have accept that you are the flower which is not so easy to do, accepting the care and nurture being given to you. It can be scary and intimidating to do the introspection, soul searching, and cliff jumping required to be the flower. There can be this fear that what you are doing is bringing down your partner. Sound a little like someone?

To me, it makes absolute sense that ForceBook as a pairing is flourishing this year because Book is truly coming into his own as the flower Force always knew he could be.

The more confident Book becomes in his abilities, in sharing his gifts with the world, the more people will see him and come to love him, to love THEM. And as a pairing, the more successful they'll be. Their star is rising sharply and while there are a lot of people in the background who contribute to this, I have to think that Force's role as the gardener to Book's flower factors significantly.

"And, as we grow, we’ll all be called upon to do some gardening of our own. Gardening that, because we’ve experienced love and care and support from others, we’ll inevitably be better at doing ourselves."

And we're now seeing this. This year was ForceBook's first LOL Fan Fest, first international fan meetings, and GMMTV fan days where they had to give speeches. And if you watch, during ments, when Force gets emotional, Book's hand always goes to Force's shoulder IMMEDIATELY as a sign of support like "I'm here for you/ Standing with you" and this helps ground Force enough so he can continue speaking (I can't find a photo rn so accept this placeholder until). Or the story they shared where they were both nervous while prepping for their first LOL Fan Fest and Force would come around and ask Book if Book wanted a hug… because Force wanted a hug. Force's love language is physical touch by the way if you couldn’t tell lol.

Or when they're doing an event or press and Force is tired or not feeling 100, Book will be MORE that day for the both of them or he'll check in on Force during interviews or press.

This unspoken dialogue and understanding they have between each other is really beautiful.

Force, I would say is still the primary gardener of their relationship, but now he doesn't always have to be. They can take turns supporting each other to be the best versions of themselves. And I love that for them.

eng trans from happyduckie_, CreamsicleBlair, ceci9697, khenhsdiary, minty_licious; articles 1 2 3 "Defining Love"

#forcebook #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #kasibook #fforce #mjtag #rumtumtag #<- if you're interested in reading

[valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn]

The problem is that MCU is willing to show the system is flawed but not willing to admit it's wrong. Either wrong in what the system did or does or that simply the system in itself is wrong in extending at all.

Few bad apples excuse. Say it needs to be better but never show how it needs to be fundamentally changed to stop the rot from spreading

It's like they think we're too stupid to understand complex storylines, and they have been doing this for a while now. TFATWS was the worst offender along with the Loki series as they had the audacity to demand that Bucky make amends to the victims as if he wasn't a victim himself. All that focus on his actions and feelings of guilt and not a damn second spent on trying to hold the government accountable for Hydra.

TWS did a part of it right with Steve deciding to take down all of Shield, but that story was quickly forgotten and CW even had the guts to try and paint the heroes in a bad light as if the government had any moral superiority here (it's still mind-blowing to me that Ross showed the NYC invasion and the helicarriers and those two were framed as arguments against the heroes and not the government).

It's super status quo-friendly which is a little insulting given that superhero movies should be the exact opposite of that. And it winds up hurting the characters as well: Steve wouldn't have left the Raft after getting his friends out, he would have done something about the prison itself. Loki would never feel amazed by the TVA, he's the god of outcasts for crying out loud, he'd be horrified by them. Sam would never tell Bucky to man up and go to the victims, he would have stormed the freaking White House to have a word with the President himself and tell him off for trying to blame it all on Bucky.

I get why we have that speech in TWS when Steve calls out to the good agents inside Shield and a lot of them stand up and fight off the Hydra shills. But damn... something should have been done regarding the "good" people who agreed with Hydra's methods without knowing it and let them grow strong enough to almost put 3 helicarriers in the air. Marvel wants us to believe those were all Hydra but that's not true... and that's the scary part!

Too bad Secret Invasion was too scared to go that route. Every single one of these movies and series are always the same: this new organization is super fucked up and all the agents are doing stuff that is shady af but don't worry, we'll kill the guy on top and everything will be alright 🤦‍♀️

#mcu critical

[beatrice-otter]

Planning a Peaceful Campaign

And here is the other yuletide fic I wrote! This one was for Quasar, a pinch-hitter who was not signed up and so wouldn't receive anything without treats. They were the only one of the pinch hitters I could write for. This was my only treat this year; other writing projects got in the way. (Including my late pinch hit for sedoretuex which was fun but did take a lot of time). I knew I wasn't going to have much time for treating given how much stuff I signed up for this year.

This was quick to write but I enjoyed it; and it's always fun to use bits of history trivia I already know. In this case, "spending a lot of time at a particular noble's house to force them to entertain the entire Royal Court (and thus spend a shitton of money) so they won't have the funds to cause future trouble, but also can't complain about their impoverishment" was a common tactic of late medieval/early modern royalty in England. And also, in the medieval period, if someone is abruptly a major player in politics and neither they nor their parents had that kind of power/position/money before, and it's not a case of "the monarch just happened to love this person," and you wonder how come they're such an important/rich person all of a sudden? The answer is usually "tax fraud," which was a booming industry in late medieval England at all social levels.

Title: Planning a Peaceful Campaign Author: Beatrice_Otter Fandom: Curse of Chalion Length: 1424 words Rating: Gen Written for: quasar  in yuletide  2023

At AO3. On Squidgeworld. On dreamwidth. On Pillowfort.

It was a good thing, Iselle reflected as she watched her Chancellor and his wife lay out their luncheon, that all four of them were known as excellent riders with a love of speed and the skill to accomplish it safely. Days like this, when they'd managed to outride the rest of the court and find a place to picnic by themselves, were the only truly private speech they'd had for months.

"You know, this isn't going to work for too much longer," Bergon said. It was his turn to walk the horses to cool them down, and Iselle turned to watch him. The light sheen of sweat from exercise on a warm summer day gave him a very appealing glow, pleasantly reminding her of other things they might be doing to work up a sweat. "We're giving them too much practice, and I know for a fact that dy Garnez has sent for his younger brother, who I'm told is one of the best horsemen in Almesca, to attend us."

"There are other ways of slipping off alone," Iselle said.

"None as enjoyable as this one, though," Betriz said.

"Speak for yourself," Iselle said, ogling her husband. Betriz laughed.

"And eventually we'll be back in Cardegoss for the winter," Caz pointed out. "There, all the spyholes and things are under our control, and the servants loyal to us."

"And then next spring we get to start this whole circus all over again," Iselle said with a sigh. "You know, if you'd told me as a child that I would grow tired of travelling and wish to stay home, I would have declared you more mad than Mother." Who, of course, had not been mad at all, but only seemed that way.

"It isn't the travel, though," Bergon said. "It's being constantly on show."

"Well, that and the fact that we can't stay anywhere we actually like for too long," Iselle pointed out. Hosting the entire court was an immense honor … and also a great expense that could not be refused. Feasts, revels, all the sorts of entertainments a royal court might expect, redecorating the Royina and Roya's bedchambers in the latest fashions, and other costs piled up into a tidy sum. It was a delicate balance: staying just long enough with their supporters that they received the honor but were not too badly impacted, and then overstaying their welcome with the less honorable and loyal nobles without making it obvious that they were simply there to drain their coffers to lessen the trouble they could make.

"When you get pregnant, that'll be an excellent excuse to stay in Cardegoss or Valenda," Betriz pointed out. She sat back and admired the spread that had come out of their saddle bags. "There! Isn't that nice."

"It is, thank you," Iselle said, taking a seat on the blanket next to her friend.

Bergon tied off the horses to a bush—the only tree in the meadow was the one they were sitting under—and joined them. Caz said a blessing over their meal; when he'd first become her tutor, back in Valenda, such things had often been omitted or done by rote. No longer.

For a few minutes things were quiet as they all worked their way through the excellent spread of cold meats, cheeses, and pasties.

"So," Iselle said as they sated the initial appetite the ride had given them, "we leave the castle of Gipendio in two days to head to Irebar, where dy Rubanco has his primary seat. Is there anything we need to wrap up here?"

"No, madam," Caz said.

"I'll be sorry to leave," Bergon said wistfully. "Dy Lopeira is such good company." The two of them were well on their way to becoming fast friends.

"Well, he's invited to Cardegoss for the winter, and he'll probably come," Betriz pointed out. An invitation from Bergon and Iselle was not quite a command, but few would refuse without an overwhelming reason.

"Best soak up the camaraderie with him now," Caz said. "There'll be little enough of it in dy Rubanco's household."

Bergon grimaced, and Iselle sighed. dy Rubanco had not been involved in dy Jironal's wild march across Cardegoss to capture her and Bergon, but he had been a friend and loyal follower of the previous Chancellor. He'd been as close as dy Jironal had allowed anyone who wasn't family. dy Rubanco had, of course, professed all proper allegiance and disavowed his former master, but there were rumblings and rumors that Caz didn't like. In particular, there was a great deal of hostility to Ibra circulating in Irebar, with just enough plausible deniability for dy Rubanco that they couldn't do anything about it.

"How long do you think we'll have to stay?" she asked Caz.

Caz shrugged. "He's got deep pockets. On the other hand, part of that may be because of favors dy Jironal did for him. In particular, my clerks have turned up some discrepancies in the tax records for the area. By quite a substantial margin. In particular, a number of grain mills and smaller manors seem to have quietly vanished from the Chancellery's records over the course of Orico's reign."

"Can we get him to repay some of what he should have been paying all along?" Betriz asked.

"Probably not," Bergon said. "With dy Jironal dead, all he has to do is say that he paid his taxes through in-kind gifts we now can't trace."

"Or that there were a series of bad harvests, and it was only supposed to be a temporary reprieve, and he had no idea the Chancellor altered the records," Iselle pointed out. 'I had no idea the Chancellor's actions weren't legal or legitimate' was, unfortunately, a very popular defense in Chalion these days.

Betriz opened her mouth, probably to outline how to get enough proof of collusion to be worth doing something about, and then slumped with a sigh. "And if we went after him for it all, that would spoil the new beginning we're trying to create. Too bad. We could use the money."

"We could indeed," Caz said, making a face.

Iselle hummed agreement through a mouthful of pastie. Between wars they'd lost, tax breaks for his relatives, and funds diverted to those relatives and allies in one way or another, the treasury was rather threadbare. And the fact that Orico never traveled, staying at Cardegoss where the Roya's purse funded all the feasting and entertainment, didn't help. The roads were in a terrible state, major aqueducts and bridges that should be maintained by the Roya were in a state of disrepair, and there were so many neglected areas of the country where a small amount of attention and money would bring things into greater prosperity and stability.

"Still, getting the tax rolls properly updated will make a difference going forward," Caz said. "And mean that he has fewer funds to make trouble with."

Bergon sighed and took a swig of watered wine from his flask. "And we won't have a moment's peace or privacy while there for however long it takes to get everything straightened out and drain his current coffers."

"He's known for his elaborate spectacles," Betriz pointed out. "I've heard he has a court playwright who is rather good."

"And he'll be kind enough to loan us servants who will be happy to sleep at the foot of our beds so they can be attentive to our whims day or night," Iselle said. "And report everything to him, no doubt." Including not just her conversations and her visitors, but also the state of her menses, no doubt. She made a face.

"Well, we'll just have to deal with it," Bergon said pragmatically. "If nothing else, our enthusiastic marital intimacies will be better gossip than the things he's spreading around now."

Iselle made a face. Being known to be devoted to her husband and, er, enthusiastically trying for an heir was definitely better than the alternative; she still would rather not have people gossiping about her at all. But that was too much for a royina to ask for. "Months of no privacy, on display like an animal in a cage. Well, it's certainly a less expensive method of bringing him to heel than any other I can think of; it has that advantage."

"Less expensive for us, that is," Betriz said.

"No point letting tomorrow's problems spoil this lovely day, though," Bergon said.

"Hear, hear," Iselle said, saluting him with her flask. "And it is such a lovely day."

#fanfic #fanfiction #lois mcmaster bujold #the curse of chalion

[gritsandbrits]

The Reason You Suck Speech ~ Sentinel Prime Edition.

After being fed up with the way Optimus Prime gets treated by his so-called friend, GritsandBrits finally reads Sentinel the riot act. Sentinel Prime Bashing, Optimus Defense Club. Warning for any Sentinel stans this is very negative towards him and tbh he needed that.

Tv Tropes: Someone delivers a speech to another character on all the reasons why that other character sucks or is a horrible person. There are several contexts in which this can happen.

In this context, it's giving 10yo me the chance to finally say what she wanted to say about Sentinel. He may have gotten off easy in canon but we aren't in canon are we? 

Okay. I have had enough of you badmouthing Optimus! Now I'm not saying he's perfect - who gives a damn! Perfection is boring and the way I see it trying to achieve it only leads to more problems! And I have never seen a more clear example than you Sentinel Prime! You like to rub everyone else's failures in their faces yet do nothing to help them grow. You strut around like Primus's given gift to the universe expecting people to like you yet barely have a good word to say about anyone. Even the few bots who do give a damn about you you treat with contempt.

The show may have let you off the hook then but it's been over for twelve years now and nothing is holding me back from calling you out. Even years later I'm still mad no one actually called out you for being an asshole, save for that one time Optimus told you to take your attitude and stuff it. That part made me laugh. And deserved.

You went around making everyone feel bad about themselves. You nearly put your own team in danger when you bribed Decepticons, said an ageist statement towards your boss In the Almanac, and would've endangered both planets has that fourth season been made! All the hurt you caused you got away with it... Not this time! Nobody ever talked to you like that? Good. Perk up those antennae I got more. 

You are part of one of the most powerful defenders in the universe. You are a candidate for what is the most powerful position on your planet. You're like almost royalty to your people yet here you are acting like you part of a school clique talking shit about people behind their backs. Ever since you came to earth you been carping and sniping at Optimus more than usual. For what? Because he's a college dropout? Or is it because he made something of himself with being a dropout and without you! Him being happy ticks you off, so you gotta cling on to what little control you have left by undermining his work. Bad enough he had to drop his things to bail you out and having to waste precious time and energy foolin' up with you!

His job was to maintain the space bridges not be your personal lapdog! Just because he's a janitor doesn't give you the right to make messes for him on purpose. It's basic courtesy. Then again, you wouldn't understand courtesy if it hit you in the chin!

It's not just the way you treat Optimus it's also how you treat everyone else. You make fun of Bee and Bulkhead, they told me about how you were at boot camp by the way. You pick on Jazz and the Twins for expressing interest in our planet. You even had the gall to insult Prowl's memory when he was the one who gave his life to save Earth AND your world! If not for him you wouldn't be here now bullying the way you do. 

Yeah I said it! You're a bully! A prime bully who throws tantrums when he doesn't get his way. Who likes to make everyone else miserable! Who bullied his way into positions of power! We're all happy and content with our lives with all its faults and follies and fun and freakiness. Even you with your lack of courtesy, we still accept you, so why can't you accept us? Do you have to destroy everyone to make your life worthwhile? The worse part is you don't own up or express remorse. Rather, you blame other people for suffering the consequences of YOUR actions!

You complained about Optimus lying to you about Miss Spider, well what about the other times he told you the truth? When he warned you about the Decepticons' presence on Earth, or Wasp's innocence, or organics not being a threat, all you said was: you're lying, I don't believe you, you're just a dropout, arrest them all! Not a 'let's settle down and figure this out together', nope! Just straight up threatened them with prison! He tries to be honest with you but you refuse to hear him out! 

You complain about a lack of communication but how can we when you go around insulting everyone! The rare times you do speak positively it always come out so backhanded, like you have to point out something negative no matter how inconsequential it is. Everyone's forced to walk on eggshells around you. Why? Because we know you got a negative remark loaded on your tongue. That and you like to brag. Loose lips sink ships as they say.

And back on lying, honey he never lied to you. If anything he was protecting you! He didn't want to hurt the both of you so he had to make a hard decision at the cost of his own wellbeing. When you did learn the truth, instead showing the poor thing a bit of compassion, you tell her that she was better off dead! What is that to say about someone? Especially someone who was your girlfriend? 

She probably didn't have much of a choice, and you know good and well how slick Megatron is! But besides that, you were hurt yes, but you have the time to seek closure. Instead you denied your ex a chance to heal from her traumas. You continue using Optimus's own trauma against him.

You plot and scheme to further your ambitions not caring who gets hurt. You try to inflict trauma on every organic on this Earth. Tell me, are we really a threat? Or are you just venting your anger over not being told about Blackarachnia? Given your past behavior I would not be surprised if it ends up being the latter. 

That's another thing every time you faced with a difficult situation you immediately lash out. Optimus has been your biggest victim. When it's not dumping your the responsibility on him, it's sneering or picking on him. You ever stopped to think how Optimus might've felt? The guilt he feels over not saving her? The fear that someone could hurt her, or that she might hurt innocent beings. How he has to shoulder not just his own grief but yours as well. How he has to deal with your hatred. 

You say you don't haye him yet that doesn't stop you from treating him like a tool. Do you ask him how he feels? Did you offer him comfort in his time of need? Or are you the only one ever allowed to feel sad? Maybe you can learn his side of the story if you bothered to give him a chance! You claim it's too late for apologies but the thing is, that's not a reason for you treating everyone like junk. When others make mistakes they at least try to fix them, or move on and take steps to do better in the future. Even if it's not verbal, there's other ways to apologize and grow. 

You could've worked with Detroit. You could stop calling Optimus that awful name. You could've open you heart - excuse me - your SPARK to others and learn about our planet. Sure you can't change the past but that don't mean you can work on yourself now. Everyone even in the fandom been nothing but patient and kind to you, and you returned it with spite. You can't fathom being happy with yourself so you hafta drag everyone down with you. 

But yet Despite all the garbage you hurl at Optimus you know he never spoke badly about you? Sure an exasperated sigh here and there but never slander. He never went out of his way to hurt your career, hell he gave up his future for you! Yet you still treat him like a threat to the point of attacking his teammates to get at him. All the harm you've inflicted on him, he still helps you out! He could've left you at the mercy of Headmaster but helped you get your body back. He could've let you get killed or hurt but he comes to your aid like a real friend should. He saw something worth salvaging.

Are you willing to toss all that away for temporary catharsis? 

You let one tragic mistake sour your worldview so you project that onto others. They make a mistake you don't give them grace. You don't give it yourself. You expect everyone else to think and act exactly like you, selfish and mean, yet you see the opposite. Bee and Bulkhead try new things and has hobbies. Jazz plays our music, Ratchet studies our medicine, Prowl loved our wildlife, and Optimus loves everyone. Even you, you hateful self-centered jerk. He cares so much about you though I can't see what it is that makes you worth saving. 

Every day they go out to help the city not expecting to be rewarded or even thanked, but because it's the right thing to do. Meanwhile you're just standing around huffing and puffing, refusing to lend a hand. Stubbornly clinging on to that cynical mindset that being flawed is inherently evil and that nobody can be good. We fought things bigger than you, yet you treat us like a bunch of idiots who don't know anything no it's you who don't know anything! But even those aren't a good enough reason to carry on acting like that.

Your whole life has been challenged, and now that everyone seen you for the sad, scared soul you truly are, they stopped entertaining you. You lied to yourself, you're stuck with that lie and nobody is around for you to dump your frustrations on.  You can't keep living off lies you know. You can't force everyone else to live in them either.

Now I know what I just said won't get you to change your mind and honestly, I've stopped waiting for you to have an epiphany a long time ago. It's clear you're content with the path you're going down but you will have to walk it alone. The rest of us will continue to enjoy ourselves. We'll love our flaws and freaky grossness. You? You be all alone with only your crown for company. It's sad it has to be that way. But I hope you take it as the time to reflect on the choices you've made and will make. That when you do eventually become the Primer Prime, those choices had better be worth it. 

#transformers animated #fanfiction #tfa #character bashing #sentinel prime bashing #optimus prime defense club! #tw long post #transformers #tfa fanfic #rant #basically EVERYTHING i wanted to say to this dude for 17 years #fuck sentinel #he really did not deserve Optimus; and optimus deserved better #tropes #tv tropes #the reason you suck speech #bashfic #self insert

[nancypullen]

September Eve

Ahh, September. She's on her way and there's so much promise in the month. I love it because it's my birthday month, but more than that, this will be the month that tips us into autumn. Our forecast is anything but autumnal, there's a heatwave heading our way, but I refuse to budge from my place of September joy. The sweetest grandgirl in the word has started kindergarten. School won't start in earnest until Tuesday (after Labor Day) but she had her phase-in day this week and she loved it. Her parents prepared her beautifully, covered every base they could think of, and I think they were far more nervous than she was. On the morning that they took her to school she hopped out of the car, chirped "Good morning!" to the police officer directing drop-off, and proceeded inside to run the show. She is a force. She may look like a fragile fairy princess, but she is confident and brave. What a girl! Upon graduating from preschool she was given the superlative "Most Likely to be Famous". When I asked her yesterday what the best part of the day was, she replied, "Dramatic play." I hope she remembers her Grancy in her Oscar speech someday. As for Grancy, I've been busy, busy, busy getting things ready for Artisans on the Choptank.

I need to get a pair from that last batch on the ears of a local cheerleader. That's free advertising. I should make a few pairs and send them to the high school. Today's mail brought my banner, all the way from China.

I'll steam those creases out and it will go on the front of my table. I've got an orange tablecloth so it will look like this.

I'm not sure that my wares will go over well in this area. I haven't seen a single woman in big earrings or any sort of statement jewelry. In fact, I don't think I've even seen a woman with lipstick on. I'm hoping that people from other counties will visit the event because these Denton gals are not a foo-foo bunch. I am definitely a fish out of water. Did I mention that I finally got my hair cut last week? Is anyone at all surprised that I felt like putting crime scene tape across the door of the salon afterwards? What that woman did to me should be illegal. You know that I've never been bashful about posting photos of my hair disasters here. This is so ugly that I will not put a picture on the internet. My hair had gotten very long. I knew that as a woman of a certain age that I should probably lop off a few inches. These are the photos I took as a reference.

I was looking for layers, a length that just brushed my shoulders, nothing too crazy. I also chose cuts that I knew would work with my mass of hair.

This is what I came out with. Not kidding.

The first layer on the photos I gave is sweeping, soft, and about cheek bone length - at the very least eye-level. She cut the top so short that I am walking around with a cloud of hair on top. It's awful. Thankfully my hair grows pretty fast, so by our October vacation I should be able to calm that top poof. I still can't believe what she did. I had even taken a photo of my hair before blow-drying to show her how curly it is. I should have asked to see her license because I think she might be a dog groomer. I may have received her signature cut.

And while we're on the topic of my hair, I'm just not in love with the white. I've tried it. I've tried it for a long time. I just don't love it. It still doesn't feel like me. I'm really leaning toward coloring again. I couldn't go dark, that ship has sailed for me. It would be as unflattering as the white. A medium or dark blonde would work. I have so many friends who have gone beautifully white or gray, and they've raved about the freedom of it. Honestly, I haven't felt that - I mean, not keeping up with roots, etc is nice, but it's not like I devoted massive amounts of time to it. I don't know, I'm on the fence. If I do color I'll certainly do it myself. Most salons here charge $100 for color! I can ruin my own hair for much less, thankyouverymuch. We'll see, there's no rush. It's not like anyone sees me, thank goodness. I'll stew on it awhile. I think at the heart of the issue is that I just don't feel vibrant with white hair. I look tired. I've started noticing women my age and older that are not gray and they look kind of fabulous. Then I look at my friends who have gone white or gray and they look fabulous too (I'm looking at YOU, Dina!). I suppose it's different for everyone, like red lipstick or a pixie cut. There are certainly more pressing problems in the world, so I'll think about that tomorrow. Fiddle-dee-dee.

My dinner timer just went off so it's time to take out the taco pie and spread a little sour cream on top and sprinkle it with shredded lettuce. Mickey is going to be a happy boy. I'll be back tomorrow, maybe with better hair. Doubt it. Sending out tons of love. Take what you need and pass it on. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[nightcall99]

Notes from 31.3.24

A few dreams. In the first dream, I go back to the same Viet lady in her shop to get some fish and chips. I already had it yesterday and wanted it again. Actually now that I'm typing this, I'm getting the message that the only reason it seems like I had it 'yesterday' is because my HS had to replay this dream twice so that I would remember it. Anyway, this time I ordered more food than the day before (it's more the second time round, only for emphasis). Initially the room is dark, none of the lights are on. But then the shop is open for business, only because I am there. I order potato cakes, chips and fish too. I take out my white debit card to pay.

In the second dream, four people are playing a game. Two of them are standing and facing one person who is watching and trying to figure out what the pair are doing. The two have pots of mint plants behind their backs and trimming off sprigs of it, presumably for use. But they are trying to hide the fact that they are doing this from the person who is watching. All the watching person can see, is two people standing tall and smiling broadly. The fourth person, I don't know what they're doing but I sense their presence.

The first dream seems to be about how 3D is only here because I'm still participating. And the second, I dunno, it's the four people thing again. Guess we're playing games.

The thing with food is that now I am acutely aware of how it is a code. Yesterday, I ate like normal. My body was simply hungry and so I ate. A few hours ago, I really wanted to have a meal at McDonald's. Nothing wrong with that, it's just molecules. But the enjoyment of the food would have been secondary. What I wanted foremost was to feel weighed down, for the world to impress upon me, any kind of impression. I didn't care what. Because I didn't like the alienating experiences of today. I wanted emotional satiation, when I can get none. So I didn't get any. When I got home, there was sushi on the counter and I ate that. I don't think it 'did' anything. I don't think anything detrimental happens either way. So why am I mentioning this at all? Just for awareness. Everything, I think, has been an exercise in awareness. I could have had my meal at McDonalds. But fulfillment is out of reach and perhaps, gone forever. I think that this is what lies at the heart of this 'call' to fast. Food is a code and at any given moment, it does what we assign it to do. But on the level of us playing this game, whatever it is that food used to do for us, it can no longer happen. Those options have floated away and have left us here, floating. That's just how it is now.

Today, I suppose, was another chance to fall and believe that none of this is real. I don't think I can fall anymore, just experience these moments where I think I will. In a way, it is a type of exhilaration. I seem to dangle my legs off the building, knowing full well that I am strapped into a parachute. And maybe the sensation of being hundreds of floors up is just an illusion in the first place. We play with illusions all the time. Everything I think, right now, is about seeing through these illusions.

I think I have become extremely cold. I don't cry. I think maybe, crying is a waste of time. I know that it will not do, what it used to do. There's no use trying. I would be more worried if it wasn't because I know that I am the higher self now (just a figure of speech, we have always been the HS, you know what I mean). Yes. I know this. My stoniness is less a reaction to the outside world, and more because I have become inhospitable to the game giving rise from within me. I am like agar jelly in a petri dish. I could grow colonies of bacteria, any type of microbe, if I wanted to. But there are no more variables. No sets of conditions. No hypothesis. No controls. I am not subjecting myself to any of it.

Also, I would be more worried if I wasn't still kind to people. Because I am. In a way, I have become considerably more kind while simultaneously maintaining my cruelty. I think I get it now, just a little bit more than before, exactly how we have played this game. I have ignored my mother since the events of last week, simply because it feels natural. I would be exerting more energy to make things right and maybe that's what resistance is. Things should just be how they already are and if they weren't supposed to be, then they wouldn't. I ignore people but I also pay attention to everyone. I hate the ones I love, realising the ones I love, I should hate. That sentence doesn't even make sense, but it feels right so I'll keep it. I see that I have always been honest in my lying and insincere in my attempts to be truthful. Throughout it all, for some reason I want to be a good person. I would never want to kill anyone, but I see that I could, if I had a sharp knife and was placed in the right pressure cooker of blended spices, rice and meat. I think being human has been nothing but downright terrifying. And to play this one last game and to have no other way to describe it, other than to say that I'm 'cold' and to still use words akin to 'bad' and 'good', when all I wish to do is to detach... just speaks volumes.

[mrschwartz]

Mojo dojo casa house?

hogging this ask to share my opinions on the barbie film which i had promised i'd do!

i only watched it once so obv i'm gonna catch a lot more in subsequent viewings and might even change my opinion on some things but

at first view what impressed me the most were the production and costume designs! the barbieland set and the barbies' outfits are really impressive and fucking awesome, they helped a lot in the immersive nature of the film and to sell the premise. the commitment to the rules of the doll universe was fucking stellar, the walking on tiptoes, her floating down to the car, there not being any actual liquids or food

and like okay. the plot. phewwwwwww. it's metamodern and i get it, and while it certainly was Extremely self-aware it often seemed like said self-awareness was being actualized by someone with a very specific, not necessarily privileged but oftentimes limited, worldview. for example, america ferrera's speech was great but didn't it feel like feminism 101? i thought the film was going to commit to some more radicalized notions, i guess lmao

but i don't want to judge it based on my expectations, let me judge it for what it is! something that i have to give it credit for is the critic given to barbie dolls themselves, especially the ones from sasha (maybe it's bc i'm zillenial so i've been her lol). i wasn't expecting the film to open that discussion and that gave it a turning point that i think was much needed. what i will say is that i think too much importance was given to the historical significance of barbies lol ("you set feminism back 50 years you fascist!") but i think that's a given since the movie was produced by mattel iself

i would love to analyze this film for what it is and not mostly for the message it's trying to send (bc i'm The Biggest believer that stories don't have to have a moral lesson, and in fact are probably better when they don't tbh) but it truly only works when you take into account the discussion it's trying to sparkle. and good for it! it did its job, people are fucking talking about it lmao. we're in a weird cultural moment where people like me think the film would've benefitted from being more radical (by GOD not in a terf sense, terfs can die and burn lmao, but in a let's free the nipple and grow our body hair and raise boys and girls the same way sense) but conservative people think it IS radical for supposedly sending the message that women should hate men (???)

on that note. i'm Definitely not siding with the conservatives here (my god please god Definitely not) but the film kept hammering on the fact that we should fight the patriarchy (and i've seen people saying that you're missing the point if you don't realize that the film is us vs patriarchy and not women vs men) but i think that's giving too much credit to the film vnfjvnfjv like i said, it's feminism 101, so in the end the barbies still take back barbieland, no? they go back to the beginning of the film, this idyllic world where one gender rules all and occupies all of the space. and like I GET IT, it's a comment on how the opposite is what happens in our world, i'm not stupid lol. i'm just angry that the dichotomy IS there, is all i'm saying. the film criticizes the things women are associated with and the expecations we have to live with, but also plays straight into it when this world governed by women is all pink and glamourous and perfect lmao does my critic make sense? that particular message of the film feels very girl power 2014 tumblr core

speaking of which, anyone else not happy at all with the capitalist recuperation this film brought about? "let girls dress in pink and wear barbie merch to this blockbuster multimillion dollar movie!! this is our moment, if men can cosplay to watch mcu films then the girls can have this one!!" oh honey. "movies for girls" and "movies for men" much? there goes the polarization again. AND the commodification of something that Should be counterculture. thanks for contributing to both <3

all of this not to say that i didn't like the movie! i did it was great i laughed a lot! sometimes its self-awareness bothered me for how "biased" it was but most of the time the film really benefitted from it in its comedy! depression barbie made me HOWL lmao, and the kens serenating the barbies with an acoustic guitar gave me war flashbacks bc literally what woman hasn't been there, stuff like that

and. it did make me cry lol. the final scene when barbie is talking to ruth handler and finally understands what it's like to be human and more specifically a human woman really touched me bc it was a commentary on the personal. it wasn't getting at broad social subjects, it was all about internal conflict and acceptance. reminded me of the epiphany scene from soul and the parking lot scene from everything everywhere all at once. i feel like metamodern films rely a lot on these self-referential and social commentaries, but are also slowly walking towards looking inwards a lot, and that means so much to me. the examples i've observed so far in cinema are fucking beautiful, i hope it's here to stay

#like in the end it's a comedy supposed to sparkle conversation and it's doing just that so like who am i lol. but i do have 2 cents! #ask #anonymous #barbie

[derekbnerdy]

I truly one hundred percent believe that Andor, if it hasnt already, is gonna be known as THE BEST Star Wars television content. Some people will argue that title would go to either The Mandalorian or The Clone Wars and honestly if I didn't follow Andor as faithfully as I did then I would be one of the people saying that The Clone Wars Is the best. Andor some very intense depth to it and it felt the most real. Cassian's friends on ferrix feel like they could be your friends or family especially in the season finale. Just like Maarva, Cassian's friends still love him despite some things he's done and respect him so much for wanting to come to his mother's funeral even though he's a wanted man and honestly, my friends would do the same.

The Character development in this show is absolutely amazing, not just the best in any Star Wars Television series but the best in any piece of Star Wars content period. Every single thing Cass goes through helps him to grow and gives him a similar journey Jynn went through to realize just how important it is to fight against the evil of the Empire. I really think his experience in the prison is what set him on the path to truly be a rebel. Sure he was against the empire before but he only did things that benefitted him like when he took the job to rob the imperial payroll. It's when they arrested him as a "tourist" for just witnessing something and sent him to a prison where he witnessed more of the empires cruelty that convinced him that there's more to fight for than just himself and his mission to find his sister. (which was never talked about again after the first two episodes for whatever reason) Speaking of the prison episodes, that was one of the most inspiring and also most heartbreaking parts of the whole show. Kino Loy went on the second best character developing journeys in the show. He went from an ass kissing supervisor to a man who's had enough and showed just how much he cared for his fellow inmates and led a prison break so these people could go back to living a normalish life. Watching him go through that growth made it so heartbreaking when he couldn't escape with everyone else just because he couldn't swim but in the end he was happy because his fellow inmates were given a second chance and he was the one who gave them that chance.

Let's talk about Luthen for a moment... I FUCKING LOVE LUTHEN. From his upbeat persona as a shop keep to a man who has sacrificed more than we'll ever know to be a contributing party to starting a rebellion in order to free the galaxy from tyranny. That speech he gave to the dude in the elevator... Wow that shit gave me chills.

It was also interesting to follow Mon Mothmas story. I like to think of her story in this show as an origin of a rebellion leader and like Luthen risks everything including her life and that of her families for a cause she believes in. Im really hoping we'll be able to see her and saw meet and eventually have a disagreement about how each of them do things.

The places we go to and visit in this series also makes this show feel more like star wars than anything else since the clone wars and possibly rebels. I think by far my favorite place in the show is ferrix because of how close everyone there is and how moving it is when they all come together in the end.

There's alot more to say about this show but I feel like if I don't stop here I probably never will. Over all I give this show a 9 out of 10. Everything about it is very well done however, the packing at some parts gets a little slower than necessary and after a certain amount of time it feels like we're made to stop wondering or caring about what happened to Cassian's sister.

Im very much looking forward to season two. I feel like the second season is when shit is really gonna go down. Now Ferrix has really had enough of the empires shit and Maarvas speech at the end was enough to light a fire in their hearts. I can't wait to see where we go and what we do next.

#star wars #star wars andor #andor #cassian andor #andor is fucking amazing #andor spoilers #star wars is fucking awesome #kino loy #maarva andor #luthen is my spirit animal #mon mothma #nerdy #nerd stuff #nerd talks #star wars fan #star wars fandom #star wars nerd #geek

[thevindicativevordan]

Thoughts on the Action Comics Annual?

I was nervous, not because of PKJ - at this point he's proven himself - but about Spurrier coming on board. His previous work with Clark had been unsatisfying, and I was prepared for this to be another repeat of that. Pleasantly surprised that wasn't the case.

Certainly it's another "The Kents teach Clark a moral lesson" which I said I was sick of, but a few key details make it work for me. Clark begins his side of the story in a place we typically don't see him, even pre-Superman, being selfish, aggressive, and vengeful. He's outraged over Caleb insulting and humiliating his mom, to the point he sneaks out to trash Caleb's bike despite his mother giving him a pep speech about the value of restraint and compassion. Only after seeing Caleb's father beat Caleb, and then seeing that Martha has been undergoing chemotherapy, does Clark take her words to heart. Simply hearing his mom give a speech didn't make him change his attitude towards Caleb. Learning his mom has been silently fighting off cancer, yet still didn't lash out in anger towards Caleb for knocking off her wig, and that Caleb is only trying to prove his masculinity to his abusive father makes Clark reconsider his attitude. Work is put in to the story in order to sell the reader on Clark's change of heart rather than merely leaning on fluffy words.

One of the hallmarks of the Warworld Saga has been Superman upholding his code of ethics, even when the entirety of Warworld society views that code as foolish at best. Despite getting put through hell, Clark doesn't waver in sticking to his principles. Here we get to see why Clark maintains that commitment: The Kents have had their fair share of suffering which challenged their optimism and idealism, including events like Martha getting struck by cancer. If Martha Kent can keep her ideals after being given every reason to abandon them and lash out, then her son can do the same. Showing the reader that the Kents views are not products of easy living and naivety makes those values impactful. Reality can be cruel and brutish but that doesn't mean we have to be, no matter how tempting the notion of giving up the neverending battle to make reality better might seem.

Meanwhile the Mongul storyline acts as an excellent mirror to the Clark storyline. Similar to Clark starting out from a position you wouldn't expect, here we're shown a side of Mongul we wouldn't ever expect to see: Mongul demonstrating compassion, honor, and mercy. He was not born evil, and when we meet him, it's possible to envision this kid as one day growing up to be a hero like Superman himself. Then like Martha for Clark, "Momgul" enters the story. She's a foil to both Martha and Caleb's father. Like Martha she seeks to instill her outlook on life into her son. Like Caleb's father she punishes every moment of "weakness" in Mongul, every showing of charity is met with physical or verbal abuse, even when Mongul attempts to show his love for her. Only ruthlessness and cruelty please her.

Unlike the Martha/Clark relationship, all Mongul is to his mother is a means to an end: revenge against his father. She doesn't care about him beyond that, or even about her own life. Sacrificing herself for his sake isn't done out of charity, but because it's just a necessary step in her ultimate plan of forging him into a monster capable of killing his father for letting them both be exiled. Ironically she does get her desire, her cast out son returns to their tribe and would one day kill his father as she wished. But her lessons taking root means Mongul is left with no regard for her memory, indeed he outright states she betrayed the Warzoon ethics by saving his life regardless of her intent.

Mongul has been the second biggest beneficiary of the Warworld Saga behind Superman himself, getting the fleshed out characterization he's desperately needed in order to be a better Rogue for Superman. This is another excellent addition to the work being done, especially in how it centers the mothers who are so often overlooked compared to the fathers. PKJ at this point has a solid claim to contest Alan Moore's position of best Mongul writer, and while I'm still not totally sure if I want Spurrier to do more Superman work, this has convinced me to give him a shot if he does.

#superman #action comics annual 2022 #phillip kennedy johnson #si spurrier #mongul

[dweetwise]

[Riconti] Good at pretending (part 16)

We're slowly but surely approaching the end of this fic. Hope you enjoy these last few chapters! Warnings⚠️: Implied homophobia/biphobia Word count: 1.7k [previous] [next]

That evening, it was time for the rehearsal dinner.

Felix had never understood the point of the tradition and it seemed like a needlessly complex American custom. But considering how over-the-top everything about this week had been, he supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised that his cousin wanted to include an extra party in her wedding extravaganza.

Still, the event wasn’t all that bad. The food was decent and Ace prompted Felix to talk about the architecture of the venue to keep them entertained between speeches, and all things considered, Felix decided there were worse ways to spend a Friday night.

So naturally, someone had to ruin it for him.

Felix was in the middle of trying to eat his dessert in peace when some distant relative he didn't have any recollection of plopped herself down in a vacant seat at their table.

"Ehm… can I help you?" Felix asked the unknown woman.

"Oh my." She glanced between Felix and Ace, clearly surprised. "Felix, my dear! I heard, but I didn't think – well, I guess I had to see it to believe it!"

She laughed; Felix didn't. Luckily for him, Agnes appeared in record time to shoo her back to the right table and Felix wasn't exactly surprised to see that the woman stumbled and swayed on her way there.

═════════════ ♧ ═════════════

The evening only went downhill from there.

Like every single party and get-together before it, the rehearsal dinner dragged on for much too long. Desserts had been finished what felt like hours ago and Felix had already heard every speech and all the cringe-worthy jokes that they entailed several times.

The main wedding party was currently huddled together at the bride and groom’s table, going over the revised schedule for the reception for what had to be the fifth time that evening.

Felix sighed louder than was probably appropriate and stared blankly at his empty champagne glass.

“So…” Ace started. “Did you know there’s an open bar tab for the guests tonight?”

Felix didn’t need to be told twice.

And that was how they found himself standing on the sidelines of the room while waiting for the event to continue, Ace with a glass of wine and Felix nursing a generous four fingers of scotch to try to take the edge off his growing annoyance.

"Now that we're here..." Ace started. "What did that woman say?”

Felix stopped glaring at the room long enough to acknowledge Ace. “Hmm?”

“Back at the table,” Ace clarified. “You looked really uncomfortable."

Felix wasn't even surprised anymore that Ace would have noticed that. He wasn't exactly being subtle.

Felix sighed and took a sip of liquid courage. “I suppose I never told you how I came out.”

“Not really something that pops up in everyday conversation,” Ace joked. “But you don't have to talk about it. I know it's probably not a fond memory."

Felix considered the words. Somehow, not telling Ace felt wrong. If everyone in this room – most of whom Felix barely knew and didn’t even like – were privy to the information while the only person Felix truly cared about was left guessing, he wanted to change that.

“I still want to tell you,” Felix decided.

Ace smiled. “Then I’m all ears.”

And so, even though he had never found his experience particularly noteworthy compared to other stories of its kind, Felix talked.

The whole thing had started when he and Lauren were attending a fundraising gala. It was for the benefit of a community center for marginalized youth, an organization that Felix had previously given a generous donation to and which their studio would be designing the building for as a non-profit project.

With themes of acceptance and inclusion being a hot topic of the evening, a reporter had asked how Richter & Golder did their part in furthering a diverse workplace. After Lauren had gone through her no doubt memorized speech of gender equality and the company's extensive no discrimination policy, Felix had found himself blurting out “And I’m bisexual.”

He really hadn’t anticipated that it would be a big deal. It was his own clumsy way of leading through example: reasoning that empty words meant little, but that having one CEO who didn’t feel the need to hide that part of themselves would help create an air of acceptance in the office. 

But the next thing Felix knew, it had become a thing, with interviews scheduled and even an appearance on the news and people within the field calling him a role model.

Of course, it wasn’t all positive. A few clients stopped responding to both Felix’s and Lauren’s calls and one of their subcontractors resigned, not to mention certain media outlets calling the whole thing a publicity stunt. But now Felix’s orientation was out there, so to speak, and naturally his nosy relatives with too much spare time on their hands were among the first to catch wind of it.

And here Felix was, two years later and still dealing with the fallout of accidentally outing himself.

Ace whistled lowly as Felix finished his story. "Whew. That sounds like a rollercoaster."

Felix gave a half-shrug. "It is what it is. I just think it's good that my family finally sees me with a man, after all the gossip."

Ace hummed and looked over to said family.

"And…" Felix continued. "It's good for me too. I've never actually had the chance to… date someone like this, before."

Ace turned back to face him, his face softening from something – pity, Felix realized with a start.

"Oh, God," Ace winced. "Shit, Felix. I had no idea. I’m sorry."

Shame settled heavy in Felix’s gut. His pathetic excuse of a dating history had always been a touchy subject, but he hadn’t thought that Ace would judge him for it.

"I should have maybe made more time to try to find someone, but after the breakup –” Felix tried to explain himself.

“No, that’s not –” Ace interrupted, before taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t making fun of your love life, Jesus. When and how you decide to date is up to you.”

Felix frowned. “Then what…?”

"I’m sorry you have to date me!" Ace exclaimed.

The sound was loud enough for both men to snap their attention back to the rest of the party, but everyone seemed to be engrossed in their own conversations.

“I mean it,” Ace said, lowering his voice. "Your first relationship with a guy shouldn't be this, this… pretend bullshit with someone like me."

Now, Felix was thoroughly confused; he thought the week had been going pretty well. "Why not?"

"Because you deserve so much better, for starters" Ace said, rather heatedly – like he truly believed it. "I mean, I tried to give you that, at least as much as I could. I wish you'd really met someone on a business trip; someone who actually had something going for them, other than a mountain of debt and a lifetime of running away," he rambled on.

Something in Felix's brain finally clicked in place. He had suspected there was more to Ace's exaggerated story about their first meeting than simply lying for the hell of it. And just like that day on the tennis court – or after the garden party, or really any day now that Felix was thinking back on it – he realized that Ace felt that he wasn't enough; not young enough, or rich enough, or good enough.

And that remained one of the most ridiculous ideas Felix had ever heard.

"But here we are and you'll just have to settle for this fake thing with Ace from Milano," Ace finished with a smile that didn't reach his eyes.

Felix had come to hate Ace’s fake smile. Now that he’d caught glimpses of who he really was under the mask of endless wit and constant smooth-talking, Felix would never be able to go back to the casual friendship they had before.

"That’s a shame,” Felix said. “Because I'm actually not a big fan of fake-Ace.”

Ace’s brow furrowed. "Huh?"

"He’s definitely charming and fun company,” Felix said. “But I much prefer the real Ace that I've gotten to know over the last few years and only grown more fond of for each day that passed."

Ace stayed silent for a moment, observing Felix’s expression – like he was searching for a lie but couldn’t find it.

Finally, a hesitant smile bloomed on Ace’s face. "Yeah?” he asked.

Felix swallowed, trying to tamper both the anticipation and dread clawing their way up his throat. He knew that this was a make it or break it situation. But with Elodie's advice still echoing in his ears and the feel of Ace’s lips fresh on his mind – God, he’d never be able to forget that kiss – Felix only hesitated briefly before taking the plunge.

"He's everything to me," Felix said, looking straight into Ace's eyes and hoping he conveyed all that that entailed. "I just don't know if he feels the same way about me as fake-Ace does."

"Well," Ace cleared his throat and averted his eyes. "As much as I love seeing how fake-Felix's fake smile says 'yes tell me more' while his eyes say 'I swear to God if you talk about your acid reflux one more time'..."

Felix snorted inelegantly at the rather apt description.

"I much prefer the awkward Felix who randomly spaces out and is self-conscious about his PJ's and snort laughs at my terrible jokes," Ace finished, beaming up at him.

Felix couldn’t help but mirror the expression; this all felt so natural, sharing thoughts and feelings with Ace that he had never had the courage to voice before. He hesitantly reached to brush his fingers across Ace's – which was ridiculous, they had done this many times before in the past week – but this time the meaning behind the gesture was different.

Ace readily clasped their hands together, a gentle smile on his face – so different from his usual fake laugh and exaggerated coos of ”oh darling."

"No! I want Bernard's speech to be after Johann's, not before! Everyone sit back down!" Vanessa’s voice boomed through the room.

Felix sighed and Ace chuckled, their hands falling back to their sides as they watched the bride’s beginning tantrum.

"Back to business, I assume?" Ace asked.

"Unfortunately," Felix muttered, downing the rest of his whiskey in one go.

"Alright, fake-Ace and fake-Felix can handle this one," Ace said. "After that, it's all us."

Ace shot him a wink and sauntered back to their table, leaving Felix dumbfounded.

This damn rehearsal dinner couldn’t end soon enough.

#riconti #felix richter #ace visconti #dbd fanfic #felix x ace #dweetwrites #dbd #dead by daylight

[wendart]

Becoming A Family ( Part 1 of 6 )

Pov: If All Formula drivers we're wolves or dog related somehow ( i know it's weird but i try.)

Summary:

Carlos and Lando love each other, they've been together for two years, they're mates, yet they didn't wanna have pups for a couple more years, how will their lives change when suddenly Omega Lando is carrying pups?

This is the story of how they become a little family!

Word Count : 3k(ish) words.

Carlos and Lando had been dating for nearly two years. 

They had met at the induction course of the university, when Lando was about to start his freshman year and Carlos had just transferred from Spain.  Lando had been so anxious about starting uni since he had just moved to London, where he didn’t know anybody, so he couldn’t get any pack cuddles to calm down, he didn’t have anybody that could hold him and tell him everything was gonna be okay, so the little omega was a mess and his anxious scent was all over the place.  Carlos was new to London too, yet he wasn’t nervous at all about this new change. He had transferred from his previous university in Spain to ICL so he could get his degree in Finance and start working at one of the most prestigious companies as an intern; yet he being an alpha meant that he was fine being on his own, he wasn’t as dependent on a pack as an omega or even a beta could be. 

What Carlos wasn’t expecting was the instant need he felt to protect the young omega who’s scent gave away the fact that he was beyond terrified, so he quickly moved to his side and started making small talk to try and distract the omega from all the overwhelming things that were being thrown, after the tour around the university and some motivational speech some seniors have given them, Lando’s scent wasn’t as intense as it was before, yes, he was still a little bit anxious, yet the presence of the Spaniard had helped him calm down. And Carlos could smell that.  So when Carlos invited him to grab a drink Lando was quick to accept the offer as he wasn’t exactly looking forward to going back to his apartment and being on his own all over again, he’d much rather enjoy the Alpha’s company. 

Slowly after that, they had been growing closer and closer, spending more time with each other than apart, neither of them being able to resist the urge to be next to the other. 

And now they’d been dating for about two years, two years in which they had made new friends here in London, Carlos had graduated, Lando had switched majors, they mated and also moved in together before a pandemic had put them in lockdown. 

Yet nothing could’ve prepared Lando for the situation he was now in.

How was he supposed to tell Carlos?.

How was this possible?. Well he knew how it was possible. He was pretty sure that in his last heat he had screamed at Carlos he wanted to be knotted and that he wanted his pups.  But that was just the heat talking, right? Lando wasn’t ready for pups and both of them knew that. 

Since getting together with Carlos he got on birth control, specially when Carlos started spending his heats with him and helping him through them. 

After the first of Lando’s heat they spent together, they talked about pups. Carlos knew most Omegas asked their Alphas to knock them up during their heats, but it was important for them to talk about it when Lando wasn’t lost in the lust of his heat.  They both wanted pups, but someday in the future, not now. They agreed they would wait until both of them had graduated (Lando was still a year and a half away from his graduation) and they both wanted to have stable jobs before start trying for pups. 

They had talked about it to keep this from happening.  And yet he now had to tell his Alpha how bad of a mate he was, how he had failed and surely disappointed his Alpha by messing up his birth control pills and getting pregnant. 

How was this possible.  How could this be happening.  His Alpha, his mate was gonna leave him now.  He and his little pup would be alone. 

Carlos had been trying to get Lando’s attention for the past two minutes, yet he was lost in his own thoughts to even notice his boyfriend had placed breakfast in front of him 

“Lando, mi corazón” the young Omega finally reacted after Carlos touched his arm “Is everything okay, mi vida?”

“Yeah yeah, why wouldn’t it be?” He tried to fake a smile and a relaxed face 

“Because I’ve been calling you for more than two minutes and it was like I wasn’t even here” the Spaniard moved closer to his mate and hugged him “You know you can tell me if something is bothering you, right?” He felt the younger one nod “I’m always gonna try and help you baby” 

“I know, but don’t worry about it, I was just thinking about a project I have to present later in class” he faked a smile 

Carlos didn’t believe him entirely, yet he knew that nothing would make Lando talk about what was bothering him until he was ready to talk about it or until he was close to a nervous breakdown, and he hoped it would be the first reason that would get him to open up about what was really going on. 

“All right, I’m gonna go for a run, while you have breakfast” he kissed his mates’ temple before grabbing his keys and phone “I’m gonna have my phone with me, so if you need something, anything, just call me and I’ll come back, okay” 

Lando nodded before answering a low “Thank you, Alpha” 

After Lando heard the door close, he let out the air he was holding in. He hadn’t told Carlos about the pregnancy, yet he knew Carlos was suspecting that something was wrong and that he wouldn’t be able to hide it much longer. 

He knew his scent was gonna start changing, in fact it already had, but he tried to hide it wearing his Alpha’s hoodies to try and mix their scents, he was all tense and hadn’t been eating well this past few days since he apparently wasn’t able to hold anything down in his stomach. 

But he was determined to hide it as long as he could, so he could still have the Alpha’s love for a few more days. 

He tried to take a bite at the eggs his mate had made him for breakfast, yet the simple thought of eating was enough to make him wanna puke again. 

After spending what seemed like hours in the bathroom throwing up, he washed his teeth, threw away the breakfast he couldn’t eat and went to the bedroom to change out of his pajamas and into some simple clothes to take his zoom lectures. As he pulled up Carlos’ hoodie he had slept in, he stood in front of the mirror in just his boxers looking down at his belly.  

There wasn’t even a small bump yet, but he gently ran his fingers over where his little pup was starting to grow and the thought of that little pup having some of Carlos’ features, made him start crying. He was excited about the pup, his pup. He wanted to be able to watch Carlos become the great dad he knew he would be, he wanted to meet his pup and hold him tight and tell him how much he was loved, but first he would have to tell his mate he was pregnant and risk him walking out on him and the pup. 

Lando was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t hear the door open

“I’m back” the Alpha said loudly to let his mate know he had returned from his run

Shit Carlos was home. Shit shit shit shit. He quickly dried his tears and put on some pants and one of his mate's shirts effectively hiding his belly before Carlos came into the room.

“Hey baby...” said Carlos as he came close to the young Omega to give him a kiss but he stopped when he saw Lando’s face “Baby what happened? Were you crying?” Carlos immediately worried as his mate smelled like sadness and a bit of love. 

Lando could hear the worry in Carlos’ voice so he tried to ease him “Yeah, I’m fine, I just watched a video of a dog that was lost and then he returned home” he said with a small smile trying to sound as convincing as he could.

Carlos didn’t quite believed him because he had seen Lando's phone in the kitchen when he came in, yet he chose not to push Lando since something was obviously bothering him and he was so vulnerable. He trusted his mate to talk to him where he was comfortable enough about it, so he just dropped a kiss on his forehead before heading into the shower. "Love you, mi vida"

"Love you too Alpha"

When he came out of the shower Lando was already connected to his lecture, so he just walked by next to him, kissed him on the forehead and whispered to his ear a little ‘love you’ which made Lando smile before moving on to his own laptop to start working.

The advantage to being in a lockdown due to a pandemic (if there could be any) was that both of the spent all day at home, Lando was able to take his classes online (which he hated) but would be very useful now that he was pregnant and Carlos was able to work from home. 

They could both be laying on the couch, working independently but still together, Lando loved it when he was laying on the couch taking some of his classes and Carlos was on the other side of the couch doing some work thingy in his laptop while his feet were resting in his Alpha's lap being gently massaged by him. He liked that connection they had, those little touches and he loved it whenever Carlos gently tickled his feet to make him giggle and keep him from falling asleep on his lectures. 

When Carlos finished with his work a couple of hours later, he saw Lando was still on a Zoom struggling to pay attention, so he started preparing lunch for both of them. When Lando finished, he joined Carlos in the kitchen for lunch but wasn’t able to eat.

“Mi corazón, is something wrong?” Carlos said as he reached for his mate’s hand “You are lost in you thoughts again and you haven even taken a bite” 

Lando just gave him a weak smile in returned “Yeah, I’m just feeling a bit sick, that’s all, so I’m not really hungry” 

“You haven’t been eating well this last couple of days, baby, why don’t you tell me what is it that’s got you all nervous and anxious” he tried talking some sense into the young omega. But he was just to scared to tell the Alpha the truth

“I’m fine Carlos, don't worry about it”

Carlos moved to the side to try and hug Lando, yet as he placed his hands on his waist Lando snapped and took his hands off him before getting up and running to the bedroom. 

Carlos wanted nothing more than to follow the young omega and comfort him since he could smell he was about to have a breakdown, but he knew it was best to leave him alone for some time to allow himself to calm down so they could talk later. Carlos finished eating his lunch and cleaning the kitchen before going to find Lando.

When he finally spotted Lando, he had anxiously made a small nest on top of the bed in which he was lying and crying softly.  This was bad. Lando usually didn’t nested since he had mated because his Alpha was usually able to give him the protection and comfort he needed.

“Mi vida, what’s wrong?” He said softly as he knelt next to Lando and grabbed his hand, he didn't dare to get into the nest yet as he didn't wanna push Lando into a situation where he wasn't feeling safe “Just talk to me baby, I’m sure I can help you if you just let me” he saw a tear escape Lando’s eye so he softly caressed his cheek to wipe away the tears and raised the hand he had grabbed to place a soft kiss on the back of his hand. 

His Omega couldn’t stop crying until he finally looked up and asked “Can you just hold me, hold me tight?” 

“Sure thing baby, do you want me to come into your pretty little nest?” 

“Please Alpha” 

Carlos climbed onto the bed and into the nest, once he was lying there, the young omega was quick to cuddle next to him. Carlos started to rumble softly, trying to calm down the young omega in his arms as he gently stroked his hair “It’s okay corazón, everything’s gonna be okay. We’re just gonna lay in your pretty nest until you feel better, alright? ” he could hear how Lando purred in response. Carlos knew how much Lando loved being praised about his nests "You've made such a perfect nest, mi vida, so comfortable and perfect for both of us" 

“Just hold me tight” Lando responded “Please Alpha, hold me and never let me go” he said as he was finally able to stop crying 

“That’s never gonna happen baby, I’m never leaving your side” He kissed his mate’s head softly before reassuring him “Never” 

“Promise me?” 

Before answering, Carlos grabbed the young Omega's hands between his and kissed them “I promise, baby” 

After what felt like and eternity, the omega finally calmed down, and fell asleep in the alpha’s arms. In his dreams he snuggled closer to his mate, to which Carlos only hold him tighter making Lando purr happily. 

When Carlos felt how Lando started moving in his arms and slowly start to wake up, he gently placed a hand on his chin, bringing his face up so he could kiss him softly 

“Feeling better, baby?” 

“Yeah, I think so” 

“Wanna talk about it?” He pressed a kiss to the Omega's temple as he felt how he tensed up at the suggestion “We don’t have to if you’re not ready, we can just keep lying here in your pretty nest but I would really like to help you with whatever’s got you this anxious mi vida” 

“Promise you won’t be angry at me? Promise you won't leave me?” 

“Never baby, I promise you” he reassured him as he hugged him closer “Why would I ever...” 

“I’m pregnant” 

Carlos dropped his arms that had been around the young Omega in surprise, which made mis mate whimper at the loss of contact.

This was it. This was when Carlos would leave him. He couldn't do anything but start to tear up as he Carlos pulled away a little bit to be able to look better at his face. 

“You’re joking right?”

He could see tears forming in his mates’ eyes “No, Carlos, I would never joke about this. I wish I was so you wouldn’t leave me”

“You’re really pregnant?” He asked for reassurance as he watched the young omega nod softly “you’re carrying my pup... our pup?” Carlos still wasn’t able to process what was happening  

“Yes...” 

After a few moments that felt like and eternity to Lando, the Alpha finally wrapped his head around what was happening before tightly hugging his mate “Oh Lando you make me so happy” he finally said as he brought the Omega closer to him “I love you so much baby” 

“Wait, so you’re not angry at me for being a bad Omega? You’re not leaving me?” 

“How could I be angry at you baby? You make me the happiest man alive” he said softly “You and our little pup” 

Now both of them were crying but those were happy tears. 

Carlos softly moved his hands to the Omega’s belly that was still flat. Once his fingers had gently brushed the soft skin under which his pup was growing, the biggest smile Lando had ever seen came to his face before looking up to Lando who still had tears running out of his eyes “I can’t wait to meet our pup” 

Neither one of them was able to do anything else besides smile at Lando’s tummy and spend the next hour lazily kissing, cuddling and caressing Lando’s tummy. 

Once Lando was cuddled with Carlos’ chest against his back, spooning him, and the Spaniard’s hand was softly stroking his belly he finally dared to ask “So you do wanna do this with me?” 

“Of course I wanna do this with you, baby. I wanna have this pup together, I wanna love him or her like I love you” he said as he raised his head to be able to kiss his mate’s cheek 

“But we said we wanted to wait a few years to have pups...”

“We said that ideally we would wait a few years, but that doesn’t mean that this pup is not wanted, or that he won’t be loved, nor that I would leave you, both of you” he said as he rested his palm on top of the pup “You’re my mate Lando, my beautiful, perfect, funny, pregnant Omega mate, and there’s no one I would rather start a family with than you” 

“A family...” 

“Yes mi corazón, that’s what we are. You, me and our pup. We’re a family” 

Lando could do nothing but turn around to kiss his mate. How could he have thought that this man, that his mate would ever leave him? His fears seemed so stupid now that he was laying in the Alpha's arms and could smell how happy his mate was about their pup 

“You really are the best, Alpha” 

“And you are the best Omega, I can’t wait to see you round and full of our pup, glowing and being perfectly pregnant” 

Lando was only able tu purr in response to his Alpha’s compliments 

He didn’t have anything to worry about, his mate wasn’t gonna leave him, his pup would have both of his parents to love him next to him and he would start a little family next to the the man he loved. 

Yeah... life is good.

#Male #Wolves #Gay #f1 fanfics #formula one #Fanfiction #Fiction #short fiction #fiction #novel #Part 1 #angst #Ranks #Axel #Lando #lando norris

[argylemikewheeler]

hiii ive been following ur blog since 2018!! here's some st asks if you'd like :)

3, 8, 11, 15, 28, 31, 37

OH my god HI!!!!! veteran discount right here holy shit that's i think (???) the very beginning of this blog oh my god hi hi hi hi thank you for sticking with me!!!! this feels so special and so sacred thank you <3

3. favourite character in the party? That would be Mister William Byers, hands down.

8. favourite ship? Please.... don't make me SAY IT... i'm 23

11. which season had the best ending? s2! the Snow Ball to the Shadow Monster was INCREDIBLE

15. which would you prefer: skateboarding or roller skating? I personally love roller skating! I can't wait for the summer so I can go back to my rink!!

28. do you think the show would have been better or worse if they kept their plans for eleven to die at the end of season 1? Oh definitely worse. i think their avenues of exploring the upside down would have been so much more limited without her-- also i just love how they've given her character a second chance and a way to grow beyond the Experiment Character archetype. she's a teenage girl now! and i love it.

31. when was the first time you watched stranger things/ how long have you been a fan? I started watching when I was... a sophomore in college so i was like newly 19 or something??? s1 came out on my birthday but i didn't start until like. a week before s2 came out and then i just binged it all at once and immediately made this blog and wrote so much fic....

37. if byler is something you believe thats going to happen, how do you think they’ll handle it? I'm not really sure!! i'm kind of just.... letting whatever happens, happen. all i know is i hope it's kind of comical-- something that keeps the romantic arcs light and contrast to the monster hunting. like, i really want will to confess his feelings and give a whole speech and mike just be like... wait who are we talking about?? dude start over again. and will's just like OH MY FUCKING GOD. ME we're talking about ME being GAY and into YOU-- for a reason I CAN'T SEEM TO UNDERSTAND RIGHT NOW!!!!

[ask game] [send me a #]

#THANK YOU SO MUCH ILY #clearskiiess #a complete icon apparently omg #asks #st4 spec

[pastafossa]

✨AO3 Tag Game✨

tagged by: @letterfromvienna ! THANK YOU MY FRIENDDDD! 💞

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I’ve got 6 on my current AO3 username (Pastafossa) and 10 on my hiatused username HarbingerOfWhimsy (didn’t want anyone giving me grief for reader fic 😂). So 16 total. 

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

All totaled between both: 466,387 holy shit ok, and 80% of that is The Red Thread, which has been mostly been done in the past year. I’m on a ROLLLLL. 💪

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

Between the two usernames I have on AO3, I’ve hit Daredevil, Falcon and the Winter Soldier, The Mandalorian, Dragon Age, and Mass Effect!

Before that, I dabbled in fanfic for Supernatural, Mutant X, Moonlight, TMNT, Doctor Who, Haven, and iirc I had a Lizzie McGuire fic floating around when I first started. Most of those are looooong gone, though.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1.  A Warm Blanket, my Mass Effect, F!Shepard/Garrus Vakarian one-shot fic, remains my most popular fic to date. ❤️

2. The Red Thread, my epically long, years-spanning Matt Murdock x Reader saga! 🥰

3. Ya’ll gonna laugh but I got stuck with a pregnancy prompt in a Dragon Age, Cullen x Inquisitor fic challenge despite hating the topic and I couldn’t get out of it because I was running the fucking challenge, so I forced myself write it, hated it the whole time, but folks enjoyed it. So that’s the story of This Pregnancy Keeps Dragon On. No pregnancy fic ever again please. 😂

4. Carl Hates You Jim, my Dragon Age fic on what the guards always stationed outside the office door thought of the Inquisitor banging Commander Cullen in the noisy sex scene in game!

5. “You Wanna Try That Again?”, my Din Djarin x Reader smutty af entry into the fandom! Delicious, delicious smut, this is the fucking waaaaaay. 🔥

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I try to respond to every comment if I can, though things get busy sometimes. But for me writing has always been a social activity. If I was just writing for me, I’d leave it in my docs. Fic is something I want to share, it’s something I write partially so I can make people feel things and invoke emotion. Responding to comments is also one of the things I love about an ongoing fic. It feels like an adventure we’re all taking together! I love that so, so much. Also I’m an extrovert, I need the energy of social contact, gimme

Got a bit long, so rest behind the cut!

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

THERE ISN’T ONE, WE ALWAYS GET A FUCKING HAPPY ENDING except those angsty ask fics I’m working on you know who you are

Me on every fic so far:

7. Do you write crossovers? If so, what’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

Every now and then! My Daredevil crossover with Falcon and the Winter Soldier, Hubris, is my craziest so far. Just two himbos... and their handlers. Bless.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I’ve gotten one or two shitty comments over the years, or been told by crusty Old Writers Shouting At Clouds and hipsters in Fanfic groups that ReAdEr FiC iS sO cRiNgE, but I’m long past the point where I care.🤣

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I definitely write smut! As for what kind, idk, just whatever I feel like fits the characters. I’ve written smut with D/S or switching dynamics, clothes ripping, edging, super emotional, very feral, touch kinks, oral kinks, biting kinks, mutual masturbation, Armor Stays On, little bit of bondage. I even did a parody fic for a Bad Smut contest, that was wild. The only thing I can think of that’s truly consistent across all my smut is that there will be mentions of emotions/feelings, and there will be a lot of sensory descriptions cause I find that the BEST. 🥵  

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I unfortunately have! A reader alerted me a few months back to someone who’d taken Red Thread and made a few little changes and posted it to Wattpad. First time I’ve ever had it happen, so that was kinda wild.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I haven’t, although I’d be open to it eventually if I had time for it!

12. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

*whispers* There’s no Shepard without Vakarian. Shepard x Garrus is a thing of beauty.

13. What are your thoughts about writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I’ve toyed with it a little in Red Thread, where I have Ciro speaking a little Italian, though not much. I think it can be done, and I’ve seen some really creative ways it’s been done, but as of yet I wouldn’t feel confident doing it with any serious regularity.

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

It was either Lizzie McGuire or Mutant X, and they were both terrible. 🤪 But at least they’re proof of how far I’ve come!

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Definitely The Red Thread. It’s a huge behemoth of a fic, but it’s also my love song, essentially, to my favorite fictional work ever, and to my favorite characters. <3 It also makes me proud to look at, because I’ve put everything I’ve ever learned about writing into it. Because I started it a few years ago, you can literally track the little changes I made as I grew more comfortable and honed in on my own style. I’m really, really in love with that fic! ☺️

no pressure tags: @ithinkhesgaybutwesavedmufasa​ @shurisneakers​ @ezrasbirdie​ @krissology​ @buckysbiota​

#tag game #def no pressure tags! #AO3 #I like how my two most popular fics #one is like 3k words #and the other is almost 400k words #THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN #and now you get to see one of my other pen name alter egos LOL #tbh though in Warm Blanket I think you can see some early shades of TRT #which I find fascinating now that I'm looking #I HATED THAT PREGNANCY FIC SO MUCH #BUT I HAD GIVEN A SPEECH ABOUT HOW WE'RE HERE TO GROW #and then got fucking THAT in my random prompt assignment #thanks universeeee #it would be so fucking weird if I bumped into another cullenite here and we knew each other

[mintchochipkookie]

I feel like it would be obvious to give you ATLA for that ask game, but I’m curious about your Doctor Who opinions tonight!

Ever, are you a mindreader? Because when I reblogged that post I was like 'i hope ever sees this and sends me dw' cuz I wanna talk about it and none of my current mutuals watch it (i think?) except you lololol

Anyway, this is way too long and I feel like you're not gonna like one of my answers, but I hope you're having a fantastic day!

my favorite female character Donnaaa! So somehow I had skipped the special that she was in, so the first time I saw her was in the S4 premiere and I fell in love with her immediately. I think given who I was back then, I may not have loved her so much if my introduction to her had been that special? Plus something that sold me immediately on S4 was the incredible chemistry Catherine and David have, which really works well for the bond they have in S4. Something that was definitely there in the special too, but Ten was kind of a dick post S2. I also LOVE that they are actually just best friends and they never tried to pull some romantic bullshit with them. Side note: Him making an off-handed comment in the special about how she's not special or important hits so hard in the context of everything we know about Donna from S4. And then that one time in S4 where Ten finally realises that Donna legitimately doesn't think she's anything great I just 💔

my favorite male character Rory, for sure. I love him SO much! He is just so so so pure. He loves so openly and he's so empathetic and logical and I absolutely love how he called Eleven out on his bullshit. I love Eleven, and he is MY Doctor, but part of what makes him so great to me is his growing god complex and how reckless he can be. Speaking of The God Complex, may I just point to a couple of Rory quotes that truly showcase the duality of the man?

Eleven: I don't know. Let's find out. (Rings the bell on the desk and three people appear, two of them brandishing objects as weapons, the third waving a white flag.) [...] Gibbis: We surrender! Rory: No, it's okay, we're not... Gibbis: We surrender! Rory: We're nice! Amy: Did you just say, it's okay, "we're nice"?

You know, Howie had been in speech therapy. He'd just got over this massive stammer. What an achievement. I mean, can you imagine? I'd forgotten not all victories are about saving the universe.

I just love that second one so much. I have so many feelings about him but I think Amy said it better than I ever can

You know when sometimes you meet someone so beautiful, and then you actually talk to them and five minutes later, they're as dull as a brick. Then there's other people and you meet them and you think, "Not bad, they're okay." And then you get to know them...and their face just sort of becomes them, like their personality is written all over it. And they just turn into something so beautiful. Rory's the most beautiful man I've ever met.

my favorite season See here's my problem with DW. Objectively, I know RTD's era was the best, and S4 is near perfect. And I adore S4, I really do. But the Eleven/Amy/Rory era just has a special place in my heart. S5-7a are still my comfort seasons, messy as they are.

my favorite episode Ahhh writing this thing is reminding me how much I loved this show (pre-Chibs) and it's so hard to pick!!!! There are also so many different ways in which I love different episodes. Regenerations and companion farewells always hurt, in a good way (?). But apart from that, I think I might narrow it down to two (both for wildly different reasons):

Midnight

The Girl Who Waited

my favorite cast member Uhhhhh idk they're all incredible???? But sticking with the sentiments above, I love David and Catherine as a duo, and Matt, Karen, and Arthur as a trio. Also, Capaldi is a sweetheart and bonus points to Eccleston for openly hating the royal family.

my favorite ship Amy x Rory oh my god I wanna die they love each other so much I would HAPPILY talk about them ALL day

a character I’d die defending There's a few but for the sake of this question, I'm gonna say Martha. She is honestly so incredible and the fact that she (used to at least, back in the old days) gets so much hate is baffling to me. My other answers for this are Clara and Nine. Nine is severely underrated and Clara cuz I recently found out that people don't like her much ???? I get some of the criticism but I think she's just a victim of Steven-Moffat-Writing-Women.

a character I just can’t sympathize with Ro/se oh my god I'm so sorry no one kill me this has to be my most unpopular fandom opinion EVER. I just don't have anything nice to say about her so I'm gonna leave it at that.

a character I grew to love Twelve!!!! He might be the only one I didn't love in some capacity right away. I actually took a p long break from the show after Capaldi's first few episodes. I missed Eleven too much for him to be such an ass initially you know? I love his character development and he finally started resembling The Doctor I knew more and some of my absolute favourite episodes are from Twelve/Clara's era. (Also to clarify, I love Twelve now.)

my anti otp *sigh* Ten x Ro/se please don't kill me pt. 2 and I am aware what an unpopular opinion this is too. I just don't like her, ESPECIALLY in S2 (I actually don't mind Nine x Ro/se tho). I just never got the appeal of their relationship and it's the worst aspect of S2 for me. Alternatively: Clara x The Doctor (either one, Eleven or Twelve. Just no.)

Send me a fandom ask!

#(do you like my very very very subtle nod to nine there with the 'fantastic'?) #please no one kill me for the ro/se opinions #plz #ask #evergreenonthehorizon #Doctor Who