#BUT I LOVE U AND THANK YOU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 10 months

Text

at some point it's just like. do they even fucking like the thing they're asking AI to make? "oh we'll just use AI for all the scripts" "we'll just use AI for art" "no worries AI can write this book" "oh, AI could easily design this"

like... it's so clear they've never stood in the middle of an art museum and felt like crying, looking at a piece that somehow cuts into your marrow even though the artist and you are separated by space and time. they've never looked at a poem - once, twice, three times - just because the words feel like a fired gun, something too-close, clanging behind your eyes. they've never gotten to the end of the movie and had to arrive, blinking, back into their body, laughing a little because they were holding their breath without realizing.

"oh AI can mimic style" "AI can mimic emotion" "AI can mimic you and your job is almost gone, kid."

... how do i explain to you - you can make AI that does a perfect job of imitating me. you could disseminate it through the entire world and make so much money, using my works and my ideas and my everything.

and i'd still keep writing.

i don't know there's a word for it. in high school, we become aware that the way we feel about our artform is a cliche - it's like breathing. over and over, artists all feel the same thing. "i write because i need to" and "my music is how i speak" and "i make art because it's either that or i stop existing." it is such a common experience, the violence and immediacy we mean behind it is like breathing to me - comes out like a useless understatement. it's a cliche because we all feel it, not because the experience isn't actually persistent. so many of us have this ... fluttering urgency behind our ribs.

i'm not doing it for the money. for a star on the ground in some city i've never visited. i am doing it because when i was seven i started taking notebooks with me on walks. i am doing it because in second grade i wrote a poem and stood up in front of my whole class to read it out while i shook with nerves. i am doing it because i spent high school scribbling all my feelings down. i am doing it for the 16 year old me and the 18 year old me and the today-me, how we can never put the pen down. you can take me down to a subatomic layer, eviscerate me - and never find the source of it; it is of me. when i was 19 i named this blog inkskinned because i was dramatic and lonely and it felt like the only thing that was actually permanently-true about me was that this is what is inside of me, that the words come up over everything, coat everything, bloom their little twilight arias into every nook and corner and alley

"we're gonna replace you". that is okay. you think that i am writing to fill a space. that someone said JOB OPENING: Writer Needed, and i wrote to answer. you think one raindrop replaces another, and i think they're both just falling. you think art has a place, that is simply arrives on walls when it is needed, that is only ever on demand, perfect, easily requested. you see "audience spending" and "marketability" and "multi-line merch opportunity"

and i see a kid drowning. i am writing to make her a boat. i am writing because what used to be a river raft has long become a fully-rigged ship. i am writing because you can fucking rip this out of my cold dead clammy hands and i will still come back as a ghost and i will still be penning poems about it.

it isn't even love. the word we use the most i think is "passion". devotion, obsession, necessity. my favorite little fact about the magic of artists - "abracadabra" means i create as i speak. we make because it sluices out of us. because we look down and our hands are somehow already busy. because it was the first thing we knew and it is our backbone and heartbreak and everything. because we have given up well-paying jobs and a "real life" and the approval of our parents. we create because - the cliche again. it's like breathing. we create because we must.

you create because you're greedy.

#every time someones like ''AI will replace u" im like. u will have to fucking KILL ME #there is no replacement here bc i am not filling a position. i am just writing #and the writing is what i need to be doing #writeblr #this probably doesn't make sense bc its sooo frustrating i rarely speak it the way i want to #edited for the typo wrote it and then was late to a meeting lol #i love u people who mention my typos genuinely bc i don't always catch them!!!! :) it is doing me a genuine favor!!!#my friend says i should tell you ''thank you beta editors'' but i don't know what that means #i made her promise it isn't a wolf fanfiction thing. so if it IS a wolf thing she is DEAD to me (just kidding i love her)#hey PS PS PS ??? if ur reading this thinking what it's saying is ''i am financially capable of losing this'' ur reading it wrong #i write for free. i always have. i have worked 5-7 jobs at once to make ends meet.#i did not grow up with access or money. i did not grow up with connections or like some kind of excuse #i grew up and worked my fucking ASS OFF. and i STILL!!! wrote!!! on the side!!! because i didn't know how not to!!!#i do not write for money!!!! i write because i fuckken NEED TO #i could be in the fucking desert i could be in the fuckken tundra i could be in total darkness #and i would still be writing pretentious angsty poetry about it #im not in any way saying it's a good thing. i'm not in any way implying that they're NOT tryna kill us #i'm saying. you could take away our jobs and we could go hungry and we could suffer #and from that suffering (if i know us) we'd still fuckin make art.#i would LOVE to be able to make money doing this! i never have been able to. but i don't NEED to. i will find a way to make my life work #even if it means being miserable #but i will not give up this thing. for the whole world.

18K notes · View notes

aterfish · 3 months

Text

Good thing it was a short spin

#thank u haunting heroes discord server for giving me ideas #again #so soon #and its a animation??? in color???#i saw the prompt and did it in 3h #you could say i was like... possesed #danny phantom #phandom #dp #ater art #lbm dp #little baby man #i love you you noodle boy #ater babbling at 2 am #animation #no lbm was harmed in making this post

4K notes · View notes

garaks-padded-bra · 18 days

Text

Well would you look at that!!

#thank you so much #i wish i could draw smth for everyone who donates to help me thru school #if i had more time i would #i love u all #garashir #elim garak #ds9 #star trek #star trek deep space nine #julian bashir #garashir fanart #my art #deep space nine

3K notes · View notes

forestofsprites · 7 months

Text

tumblr.com mutuals i love you all so dearly

#new and old!!!!!#i know i've speedran fandoms the past year- all the post-near-death hullabaloo really got to me #so a lot of you are possibly clinging on for dear life #but i love u all!!!! thank u for being here!!#thoughts

6K notes · View notes

pinkhairswagtourney · 3 months

Text

while you're here , please consider helping a disabled trans lesbian survive this winter by donating or boosting this post . thank you for reading !!!

#poll to hold us over for a lil bit .. i almost feel ready to start hosting the tourney again #love you guys thank u for being patient with me <3

5K notes · View notes

lesbaurinkos · 22 days

Text

drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands, romeo

#im having the time of my fucking life. im having the time of my LIIIIIIIFEEEEEE with this #THANK YOU DAN AND PHIL CRAFTS. FOR ALL YOUVE DONE. FOR US AS PEOPLE #there were like 80 different mcr lyrics i wanted to title this with. my craftie playlist is rich with my delirium out here #god i love the mass hysteria slime has unlocked in us all. it’s so beautiful. i love u gay people #dnp #dan and phil #cw blood #cw gore #i mean stylized but just in case of coursies ^_^#danandphilCRAFTS #phanart #and as always. we WILL get those fandometrics.#phan

2K notes · View notes

newttxt · 5 days

Text

and thats a wrapppppppp!!

from the 10th and final chapter of utilities included

masterpost

#one piece #zosan #sanji #zoro #luffy #trafalgar law #utilities included #I DID IT. BREE DID IT. WE DID IT!!#i cannot believe i got all ten pages done on time. i feel ridiculous #AND THIS OFFICIALLY MARKS THE CONCLUSION of me drawing a comic a week for ten weeks. I HAVE LIKE. 45 PAGES OF COMICS FROM THIS #i definitely gotta compile em into a little pdf #wow #bree. if u see this. thank you. its been an honor to work on this with you.#i love how visual ur writing is to me. and i look forward to ur next project and how i can stick my horrible little fingers all over it #man. im just so proud. might still be unemployed #but im making art with a friend!

1K notes · View notes

hierocherry · 10 months

Text

not immune to gay knights

#not jjba #trick actually draws #nimona #goldenheart #ballister x ambrosius #ballister boldheart #ballister blackheart #ambrosius goldenloin #lgbtq #ITS BAD GUYS #I COULDNT CONCENTRATE ALL DAY I WAS THINKING OF THEM #RAAAAAHHH #PLEASE WATCH IT #THE FILM NIMONA #ITS ON NETFLIX #this hyperfix is going CRAYZAY #thank you rebloggers who were rb'ing w their ship name #i didnt know their ship name was that till now #and thank u for the love everyone <3

3K notes · View notes

inkskinned · 10 months

Text

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book....#coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book”#i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

10K notes · View notes

dizzybizz · 5 months

Text

KAEYA BIRTHDAY ??? ?? i love you mr alberich sir i love you oh so so so much.

uh dialogue for this one but more legible under the cut (and a messy ragbros page)

Klee: Kaeya! Come down here! Kaeya: Oh? heh. What is it, Spark Knight?

Klee: Happy Birthday! It is today? Right? I even double-checked with Albedo and everything but I don't know... Klee: It's a Calla Lily! You like those, right? Kaeya: I certainly do! Thank y- Klee: Oh. Klee: OK OK OK- Kaeya: Hm? Klee: Kaeya you have to promise to not tell Master Jean about this one! Kaeya: You can count on me to keep my lips sealed.

Klee: OK! Close your eyes- eye- and hold out your hands! Kaeya: Mhm! Klee: OK! You can open them! TA-DA~!

Klee: I made a bomb for you! It even has an eyepatch! He can look after you when I'm somewhere else. Take good care of him! Oh yeah- He explodes if you- Kaeya?

Kaeya: Thank you Klee! Thank you very much! Klee: You're VERY welcome Kaeya!

a lil ragbros too.... kaeya and his red siblings amirite (bursts into tears).. also i am so obsessed with chibi diluc saying "bring em in..."

#I LOVE YOU KAEYA #these were all drawn in the past two daysashhsdgg #i was originally planning on starting like at least a week in advance bc i wanted to do one big ambitious piece but that didnt end up happe #ing... instead he gets a little comic a bigger comic and a page and my undivided attention #genshin impact #kaeya alberich #kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #genshin kaeya #im putting em all in here f u #klee #diluc ragnvindr #ragbros #none of that kaeluc shit here alright thank you or go fuck off ok epic #my art #sona #these r all improvised. i went about the klee comic in the stupidest way possible bc apperantly i love making things hard for myself..#not like it was my fault- it was just supposed to be a concept for a finished piece and not turn into a little comic but i have no self con #rol clearly so now its here and i am jsut kinda sleepy sry #kaeya has been my genshin blorbo for over three years ok i needed to express a little of my feelings about him somehow #OK YAY ITS OFFICIALLY THE 30TH IN MY TIMEZONE SO I CAN POST THIS OK OK YEAH #HAPPY BDAY KAEYA AAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭💖💖💖#this entire post is just me sobbing over how much i adore him #is this the longest wall of notes from me yet.. idk but it might be #ok anyways i love kaeya a lot send me anything kaeya and i will love you forever and ever and i should really go to sleep now i think #... .kaeya 🥰🥰🥰

2K notes · View notes

todays-xkcd · 4 months

Text

The Piña Colada song carves a trajectory across the chart over the course of the song.

Love Songs [Explained]

Transcript Under the Cut

[Y-axis label:] Do you like me? [X-axis label:] Do I like you? [X- and Y-axis values (from bottom left):] NO!!; No; Unclear or Neutral; Yes; YES!!

[Top left quarter:] No Scrubs That Don't Impress Me Much Cry Me a River We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

[Middle left:] You're So Vain

[Bottom left quarter:] I Will Survive

Somebody That I Used To Know

You Oughta Know

[Center:] Thank U, Next

[Top right quarter:] Teenage Deam Shape of You I Will Always Love You Call Me Maybe

[Middle right:] Killing Me Softly

[Bottom right quarter:] Girlfriend You've Lost That Lovin' Feelin' You Belong With Me Creep

1K notes · View notes

housebite · 1 month

Text

hilson episode masterlist

s1e5 damned if you do - house and wilson spend christmas together

s1e10 histories - wilson asks house to treat a patient

s1e18 babies & bathwater - vogler tries to get house removed from the hospital staff

s2e5 daddy's boy - $5000 is exchanged, wilson and house get dinner with house's parents

s2e7 all in - poker night benefit at ppth

s2e16 safe - prank war!

s2e19 house vs god - wilson tries to attend house's poker nights

s3e7 son of a coma guy - road trip and wilson interrogates house about stealing his pad, "maybe i don't want to push this until it breaks"

s3e22 resignation - wilson and house dose each other with ssris/speed

s4e1 alone - wilson kidnaps house's guitar

s4e3 97 seconds - "i love you", house helps wilson out of a funk

s4e12 don't ever change - house tries to break up amber and wilson

s4e16 wilson's heart - angst with a capital "A"

s5e4 birthmarks - wilson drags house to his father's funeral

s5e11 joy to the world - wilson bets house he can't receive a present from a patient

s5e15 the social contract - "does it bother you that we don't have a social contract?", wilson visits his brother

s5e23 "under my skin" - wilson tries to help house figure out his hallucinations

s6e3 epic fail - house tries out some new hobbies, wilson's along for the ride

s6e7 known unknowns - wilson is set to give a speech at an oncology conference

s6e10 wilson - "if you die, i'm alone"

s6e11 the down low - gay chicken

s6e13 moving the chain - house and wilson fight over their bathtub, leading to a prank war

s6e15 private lives - "be not afraid"

s6e16 black hole - house challenges wilson to furnish their apartment himself

s6e21 baggage - house moves out

s8e20 post mortem - wilson forces house out on a road trip

s7e5 unplanned parenthood - wilson and house struggle with babysitting

s7e19 last temptation - chicken bet

s8e2 transplant - house tries to win back wilson's affections

s8e14 love is blind - wilson, house, and house's mom shenanigans

s8e19 the c word - house takes care of wilson

s8e21 holding on - house is desperate for wilson to stay

s8e22 everybody dies - finale

#i finished season 8 so here's the masterlist as promised #big thank you to everyone who engaged with the last post and gave me suggestions <3 love u guys #i miss the show already so much i want to . die......#hilson #house md #james wilson #gregory house #text #mine

958 notes · View notes

ammaterasu · 10 months

Text

i had this lovely commission completed by @tomoyoo <3 <3

#naruto #sasuke #sns #sasunaru #narusasu #thank you sooo much mimi this is 100/10 100000% perfect i love it so much how did u understand me with my -8/10 explanation skills

3K notes · View notes

saltyfinalboss · 5 months

Text

if i was paid to be insane about videogame characters i would be a gazillionaire

#although i guess i am to some degree. thank you my patrons i love u all #i dont share all my brainrot there cuz im shy but sometimes i do just cuz its my art ahahah #txt #1k

2K notes · View notes

factual-fantasy · 1 year

Photo

Wow, you guys blew me away!

The response to my last Mario post was so immediate and so overwhelming that I just HAD to give you more!

This time with some hugs, because I committed a crime by not including some brotherly hugs in the last post... and some more angst! Because too many people walked away from that post unscathed! :D

Also I apologize if not being able to read what the brothers are saying is a bit annoying.. I liked the idea that during tender moments or casual conversation, Mario and Luigi speak in Italian with each other. And I didn’t want that aspect to be lost in my work by just writing in English.. (aside from the last one lol-)

But hey I provided some Italian to English translations at least! <:D

1: “Luigi!! I missed you baby brother!”

2: Mario!! It’s so good to see you!

3: “There there... easy does it. Take deep breaths.

4: “I’m right here Luigi, you can do this. Just breathe..

9: Mario! That was stupid! What are you 5??”

#super mario bros #mario and luigi #princess peach #princess daisy #daisy and peach #do not tag mario and luigi as ship please thats nasty #Thank you guys so much for all the lovely replies!#I read every single one #my heart is full #y u maka me cry

11K notes · View notes

userjiminie · 5 months

Text