#BUT IM LITERALLY SICK JUST THINKING ABOUT IT!!!!

[serialunaliver]

i feel like a sicko bc i think i have POCD (i cant get diagnosed professionally bc im so scared of therapists that i get sick when im even in the same building as a therapist's office) but it sucks bc i am afraid that a romantic relationship with someone my age is also pedophilic because they were a baby once.

i also cant look at people in swimsuits at the pool or beach bc "they were a baby/child once and you're staring at them." like. YEAH.? they were a baby like 20 years ago. my brain KNOWS how aging works it just decides that "once a baby always a baby" and then im going to hell.

i havent been in a relationship in ages and im not sad perse but jesus fuckign christ i wish it could be that way of my own volition and not... fear? sorryyyy lol. i just know you've talked about POCD before and.

i have no idea how people think it's based on secret desires i literally get so scared whenever a child walks into my workplace bc of it.

hey i'm so sorry you're dealing with this‼️ pocd made me have similar fears even involving child family members.

something to remember is these are thoughts that are hurting you alone. no one around you is aware of what you're thinking and they aren't hurt by it. you haven't committed a crime or harmed any child and you're not a bad person for intrusive thoughts--you don't even want to have them in the first place, which is why they're called intrusive.

and although pocd may seem less common, that's only because people are afraid to discuss it. it's simply a more severe form of morality ocd--I say severe because the specific topic in pocd is harder to grapple with since simply talking about it out loud is difficult.

#pocd

[fernlessbastard]

im the psychotic wilbur anon (forgot to note im paranoid schitzo and i see myself so much in him ANYWAYS) BUT CWILBUR BPD FOR THE WORLD. (< ALSO BPD.) hottest take is that him and quackity are bpd4bpd and a huge part of their relationship is a learning curve figuring out how to navigate communication with each other and each others splits and such. i also think that wilbur tends to black split on HIMSELF more often, and quackity tends to black split on OTHERS more often. i also think that wilbur white splitting on quackity would be a whole nother thing they have to deal with, with wilbur suddenly being like "you are literally god to me and the only person who loves and cares about and understands me you are the greatest human being alive please let me worship you i love you so much" and quackity just being like "woag dude" LIKE. also im so so so for real wilbur has so much paranoid schitzo swag i dont know how to explain that this man is fucking TEXTBOOK paranoia and he has so many paranoid anxiety habits that make me feel insane. i think he always makes sure to lock the door and check the lock like six times when he comes home and he cant sleep at night if hes alone in the house so he barely slept in paradise and didnt sleep right until he moved in with quackity, i think he has really severe paranoia about imposters and intruders and also barely slept and was constantly on high alert in pogtopia and he could only really sleep when quackity visited or if tommy or technoblade shared a mat with him, i think he also has delusions of grandeur that he has to deal with a lot and reality checking him can be really dangerous especially coupled with his bpd because he then SNAPS to black splitting on himself so hard he makes himself sick, ohhhh cwilbur my sickly man i adore you so sorry for being insane in your inbox

The first ask in question

(Ok so as a disclaimer obviously headcanons are personal and there's no wrong ones and you're valid for reading it this way)

With Wilbur I very much agree, but I don't see bpd in Quackity tbh. It more so looks like ADHD alongside shit like abandonment issues, being invalidated his entire life, being generally overworked and having no healthy outlet for his feelings, having trouble identifying said feelings in the first place, etc - all of which are very common in/characteristic of ADHD. I don't remember him ever splitting. His shitty love life makes sense with ADHD too - deficiency of dopamine makes it very easy to mistake the dopamine boost from "new person to talk to" for a crush (believe me). Hypersexuality is also common in ADHD, as well as emotional dysregulation, alexithymia (difficulty/inability to identify one's own emotions), overstimulation, shutdowns, etc, which can occasionally resemble splitting, but is very different, and works through exhaustion and frustration rather than delusions. Various types of paranoia as well as heightened irritability are also very common, especially when your senses are clouded by sensory/information/emotional overstimulation. And especially the splitting outwards part just doesn't sit right with me - maybe i missed a stream or sth but I haven't seen anything like that in him. Furthermore I'd actually say he generally points negative feelings/breakdowns etc inwards for the most part - and when ADHD is being pointed inwards it usually leads exactly to developing/heightening shit like paranoia, rejection sensitivity, hypersexuality, emotional dysregulation, alexithymia, etc. He can snap and isolate himself, but it's very different to splitting. ALSO - very important part - Quackity doesn't exhibit mania episodes. He occasionally exhibits the type of hyperactivity and excitement representative of ADHD, but it's never this state of delirium with feelings of grandeur, delusions, etc. Wilbur does exhibit mania episodes - pretty heavily at that - and the contrast makes it pretty apparent that Quackity's case is different.

THAT BEING SAID I don't have bpd, so for a perspective from someone who does, here's a rant from @octobre-ackedia: <<On so many levels, Quackity doesn't show bpd symptoms. Not all abandonment issues are borderline personality disorder. I don't think I need to say it, but bpd takes over the entire life of a person, it's not just trauma. And I don't really have much to elaborate on with the ask, mostly showing Wilbur's bpd traits but that's for an entirely different rant, and I need to chill out. Quackity doesn't black split on others. It was not shown a single time. He slowly loses trust in people, he builds walls, but that's not splitting. He doesn't start to irrationally hate everyone around himself, think that people are just cruel and bad, and more importantly don't care about him, suddenly becoming aggressive towards them. He backs off a little bit more with each disappointment in people around him, ending up not so much hating, as avoiding human relationships. And he doesn't have a favourite person, not even Slime who was just so perfectly there to be an example of that. Quackity learnt how to trust the guy, building a friendship, but never became truly "obsessed" with him. He grieved his death, tried to save him, but FFS, that's not a favourite person, that's how human relationships work (or more so, hybrid relationships haha). He doesn't get manic. You could say he becomes strongly confident, hypersexual or overworking himself, but the important part in it is the reasoning. He doesn't start believing he is some sort of a saviour for the world and can build a perfect country, or that he doesn't need anyone for that. He starts a project and might go overboard with it, but it's never this... aggressive as with bpd. With the 9 most visible symptoms, he has maybe 3 of them, which are all clear reactions to specific situations. Unstable relationships? Schlatt became an abuser, Karl and Sapnap abandoned him, he never really influenced any of that happening. The abandonment issues and feeling of emptiness are simple reactions to that trauma. His moves are calculated, he doesn't really show any mood swings, he has a quite clear image of himself, he doesn't experience any suicide ideation or shows extreme examples of self harm/putting himself in danger. And what about the part of splitting when he pushes people away after getting scared of becoming too close? He always stays, in the end. Even when he tried so hard not to get attached to Slime. Where's the white splitting? Where's anything, really. I still stand with the headcanon of them having to navigate a hard relationship, with both of them experiencing severe mental issues, but it's not bpd4bpd. Q is my depressed ADHD bitch, who struggles with trauma.>>

Also I'd say Wilbur's heavily autism coded too - as a bonus it does frequently "strengthen" bpd cause of the type of trauma autistic people experience. Q I see as very much ADHD but I also low-key hc him as somewhere on the spectrum too, though I'm not as heavily set on that

Tldr while Wilbur absolutely clearly has some severe mental issues, Quackity's seem (to me at least) to be more easily and consistently explainable by a combination of ADHD (maybe low support needs autism) and some (pretty damn severe (canonically - looking mainly at all the abandonment + sa hints)) trauma

#sorry 4 the rant brain nervous system mental health and all that (especially the bio/chem/phis view of it) are a HEAVY hyperfixation of mine #like I'm literally in uni for that-- #not saying what major exactly (sorry that's personal) but yeah that whole shebang #tntduo #tnt duo #quackbur headcanons #dreamsmp #dream smp #quakity #c!tnt duo #c!tntduo #c!wilbur #c!quackity #c!q #c!quackbur #quackbur #c!wilbursoot #revivebur #revivedbur #fernless writing #dsmp #tntblr #dsmp w #dsmp wilbur #dsmp quackity #adhd #bpd #actually bpd #actually adhd #autism

[sophiesonlinediary]

yes, we're all sick of shannon paying more attention to keefe than sophie but her decision to write a short story about him and his time on earth is something we cant change. so instead of all of you complaining cant we be happy we're even getting new content!? and all of you complaining about the cover. he's literally always looked like that he just grew or did we forget they're all still teens growing into their adult faces? look im not trying to be rude but this fandom is never happy when new news is announced and im tired of it. let's just be happy

personally i think the cover looks good 🧍‍♀️

#sophie's diary entry #kotlc fandom #kotlc #kotlc keefe #keefe sencen #sophie foster #kotlc fanart #kotlc sophie #keeper fandom #keeper of the lost cities

[cloverandstuff]

// 4.6 UPDATE SPOILERS

Anyway, Im also in Genshin Impact so give me a minute to get some thoughts out:

Fuck Pulcinella, Pantalone and Arlechinno are the found family that Childe truly needs and deserves.

I love how it's now canon that Pantalone just loves ranting, and Childe is just sick of it. He wants to escape him so bad. (They are siblings and Pantalone is doing his duty as an older brother to be absolutely insufferable)

Arlechinno truly thinks of Child as as...well as a child. She understands damn well that he is naive when it comes to trusting others. She recognizes that Childe is easily manipulated and used. She knows he's a good person.

I live for the dynamic between Arlechinno and Childe. They are siblings (real)

Arlechinno is like a very experienced parent while Childe is like a new parent who has not yet seen the horror of teenagers.

Childe throughout the conversation with Arlechinno had such protective mother energy and that is purely because of the hands of hips pose he does.

Arlechinno is Father, Childe is mother and the are not together, they are just siblings dealing with chaotic kids.

The House Of Hearth kids love Childe and this is likely canon and I love it. He cares so much about them, literally says they remind him of his siblings.

They do be talking shit about their colleagues casually. Respect that.

Pulcinella is hella suspicious and we should be very wary of him. Especially since its seems likely he plants ideas into Childe’s mind through decievement.

#genshin impact #4.6 spoilers #tartaglia #childe #arlechinno #arlecchino #pantalone #fatui harbingers #pulcinella #house of hearth #they are all family #and they are precious to me

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2 #and i was like hm hope im not too offbase #but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’ #I WAS SICK #ineffable husbands #<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me #good omens #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ur girl watches good omens #experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow #im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real #i just bought the book and i am about to devour it #lol another update #the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT #i was GOING THROUGH IT… #and when i think abt them for too long i still am

[f4keplastictr33s]

thinking about flowers’ petal (that came right of blue’s mind via cabeswater) being compared to kisses and they landed right on gansey’s mouth meanwhile the petals avoided adam and landed all around him :/ also adam watching the petals fall bc he’s an eternal observer :/

#the raven cycle #gansey #trc #adam parrish #excuse me i just love this moment and it’s not talked about enough for my taste #bluesey #bluesey you will always be famous #flower petals synonym for desire and kisses and and #blue just want to kiss gansey #also it’s a blue lily who falls on gansey’s mouth #the fact that we know that blue thinks gansey has a nice mouth and THIS happens #blue get up #im rereading and losing my shit rn #also the mention of rain after.. yk where else we’ve seen rain? GANSEY’S SPIRIT WHEN BLUE THINKS GANSEY WILL DIE WHILE IT’S RAINING #AND HERE THE BLUE LILY IS ‘KISSING’ GANSEY’S MOUTH and just after it’s compared to rain #rain being associated with gansey’s death by blue #and the kiss #it’s literally a big metaphor for the fatal kiss im sick in the head

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

headcanon that scorpius was a sick child and was in and out of hospital constantly, perhaps related to astoria's blood curse but not directly. his immune system isnt very strong, and everytime he gets sick they're terrified that it's the blood curse but also whatever else it could be, because it's always so sudden and so intense and they call healers over to the house who recommend this delirious feverish 4 year old is hospitalised immediately, and you'd think it'd get easier to some extent because they'd be used to it, but everytime they feel like this is it, this is the time he'll walk in to the hospital and not walk out again

#this headcanon has no purpose im just thinking of scorpius in bed like a sickly victorian child with scarlet fever or something #asking if he'll make it to sunrise lmfao #so then he hates hospitals with a passion #my friend from school was in them constantly he was even a make a wish kid and he can not fucking stand the places so #headcanon scorpius becomes a healer anyway lmao #im sick and this is how im coping by putting baby scorp in hospital lmfao #it just made draco that little bit more protective #lucius made an insensitive comment about it once and draco was ready to throw hands #this headcanon doesnt really go anywhere ive just decided scorpius was a sick child #he has sick child energy lmfao #he still knows some of his doctors/healers because he was there so frequently #just imaging lil scorp in a hospital bed and draco and astoria are sleeping in the room on like uncomfortable chairs and the fever finally #breaks and hes like uh daddy im hungry and its like 4am but draco couldnt care less cause scorp hasnt been able to eat anything for days #let alone ask for food directly and baby scorp is wondering why his parents are acting so damn weird just cause he asked for some toast #but once hes grown up whenever he gets sick its on such a lower level than what it used to be when he was a kid because his immune system #got better that he struggles to gauge when other people would usually stop trying to do daily activities and albus has to start wrestling #scorpius back to bed instead of going to class cause scorpius really youre practically dying and hes like pfff you wanna see dying? use tha #timeturner one more time and go back to see me at literally any point between 2 and 10 i am FINE #(he absolutely was not fine) #scorpius malfoy #albus potter #draco malfoy #hpcc #scorbus #this is so many tags im so sorry

[heyitsmemel]

hi hello gals and gays. Here is a rare wav from me struggling with the flu. The virus has mainly been in my chest but my entire body is so wrecked I was able to induce super easily. No talking bc I’m literally unable to 😭 Do not listen if you can't stand harsh coughing because it gets a bit rough. If it sounds a bit weird the first half of the recording is from yesterday and the second half is from today, bc the coughing is so much worse in the second half lmao. Ok that's it thankkk you for feeding me so good lately tumblr love u all <3

also personal rant about ableism and intentional contagion in the comments :///

#ok like I haven't been this sick in literal years and cuz im disabled i'm super mindful of spreading germs to others. #and i've had some family staying with me so I was like great leave me here to rot in my cave guys #my partner has been rlly attentive and is like i don't care about germs tehe so yesterday he comes into my room #and gives me a bunch of kisses on my head then swoops in and kisses me ON THE MOUTH #like im sorry i've been lying in a pool of feverish sweat for days and can hardly breathe what part of that makes someone go ooo gimme? #like ya hes just trying to love me but i put so much effort into being clean and now i will feel really guilty when he gets sick #sorry not sorry intentional contagion is not cute or sexy at all its just irresponsible #like i would love to live the life where my body works so well that I don't give a second thought to KISSING someone with the flu #i just feel like able bodied people never think about what its like living with a disability or a chronic illness #or have the slightest inclination of how privileged they are #my partner isn't even a fetishit he is just a dumbass #but ya i just wish he and the general population would think more :/ #snzblr #snz #illness kink #snzfucker #snz wav #snzzzzz #snz blog #anyway thats all do what u want with my horn post

[bugbuoyx]

Other trans people are not your enemy.

This goes for both trans women & fems and trans men & mascs. There are popular trans women twitter accounts telling young trans women that trans men do not care about them and simultaneously denying trans men face any transphobia, there are popular trans men on tumblr telling young trans men that trans women do not care about our oppression, pointing to the lack of talk about murdered trans men as proof.

And some of these points are fair, we should listen to each other more about our struggles. But you are making that difficult. Do you think a trans woman wants to listen to someone who accuses all trans women of hating trans men and not caring about our struggles? Do you think trans men want to listen to someone who says tells people that trans men are future terfs and will never care about trans womens struggles?

Are we not all just sides of the same dice? Are we not all facing oppression from transphobes? Terfs write books about how trans men are mutilating themselves and articles about predatory trans women in bathrooms, republicans fund legislation targeting trans surgeries and hormones, which affects all of us.

And even if we did not face the same struggles, why are we divided? Again, are we not all the same, simply trying to be ourselves in our own bodies? We can each talk about our own struggles, the difficulties we face and the joys we experience without the opposite being true of the other, infact more often than not it's extremely similar and I think we'd benefit from listening to each other more.

#transmisogyny #transandrophobia #trans separatism #because thats what this is really about im so fucking sick of the pervasive trans separatism i see in trans spaces #and both sides have had separatist movements and they use the existence of the other to recruit more folks driving us further apart #i dont want to get into conspiracy theory thinking and say the big separatist accounts are run by transphobes #because theyre not theyre just hurting trans folks lashing out but they are making it worse by hurting young trans folks #trans men who accuse random trans women of being baeddels are just as bad as trans women who accuse random trans men of being future terfs #like both groups are/were abusive as fuck what a great thing to wish on someone #hatred does nothing but cause harm honestly #also id like to point out that these separatist groups also harm the group theyre recruiting #baeddels notoriously drove gnc/nb trans fems away and the leader literally raped someone #transmasc separatists STILL use the most disgusting misgendering language about other trans men

[hamsterwalled]

I like Serizawa a normal amount (lie) I don't think about him and his backstory and his development all the time (lie) I don't think about how he's one of the first people to truly understand what Mob went through after getting all of Mob's emotions and memories blasted at him in the Culture Tower (lie) I don't think about how he might be the only person besides Dimple that knows everything about Mogamiland (and he actually knows more than Dimple because he saw EVERYTHING) (lie) I don't ever think about how he would have ended up being so different if he'd had a good support system growing up (this is not to say that I hate his mom she was trying her damnedest and the claw thing isn't really her fault she just wanted the best for him) (lie) I never ever think about serizawa and his mom reconnecting and how emotional that must have been (lie) I don't think about him growing his confidence while working at S&S and finally growing to be more independent after relying on Toichirou and Claw and his umbrella for so long (lie) I don't think about how he still uses an umbrella as a shield in the last/second to last episode (THE PARALLELS BETWEEN HIM DEFENDING REIGEN WHEN SERIZAWA FIRST MEETS HIM AND HIM DEFENDING HIM IN THE LAST FEW EPISODES. ALSO I WISH SERIZAWA HAD HAD A MOMENT WITH MOB LIKE EVERYONE ELSE UGH THAT WOULD HAVE MADE ME BAWL SO MUCH HARDER THAN I DID) (lie) Yeah I'm so normal about him I don't think about him that much (lie)

#i think that we as a society do not talk about Serizawa's complete dependence on Toichirou and how much it must have taken #to betray him and defend Mob and Reigen and Shou #like. HELLO?? #that man had been so toxically dependant on Suzuki for like probably at least a decade #he literally became a terrorist because he blindly trusted this man so much #also can we talk about the parallels between Mob's blind trust in Reigen and Serizawa's blind trust in Suzuki? #obviously Reigen is a much better person than Suzuki but the parallels are there nonetheless #did you notice that i got sick of spelling out toichirou and just went with suzuki? cause i did #i hate typing out Toichirou #its not even hard jts just a pain in my ass #mp100 #also i know that deep down both Mob and Serizawa knew that the people they believed were lying that just adds another parallel #actually wait did mob know #i dont remember #im pretty sure he sort of did #or at least ???% him did

[paging-possum]

genuinely astounding to me how few people wear masks these days ngl!! everyone on campus is sick. nobody is wearing a mask. people tell me they dont like being able to smell their own breath I tell them I like having the ability to smell at all and they still dont wear a mask. someone tells me im weakening my immune system by wearing a mask because its not fighting off illness. one of my friends is sick for the second time in a month with a lingering cough. people in my classes are out with covid and come back days later. another person on the floor is sick but they'll just take ibuprofen. my friends casually mention having almost no sense of smell. almost nobody can get the covid booster because we live on a secluded college campus. people cough without covering their mouths in class. they dont have a mask on. nobody has a mask on. what is anyone even doing

#I swear to god everyone I know is sick has been sick multiple times and I dont know!!! #I dont know what to say to them!!! #I like many of these people a lot I just think about how often everyone gets sick and how much they object to masking and like. #idk man. #me and my n95 against the world ig #im literally in classes where we talk about the covid pandemic and how governments handled it #and everyone only ever talks about it as if its over and its upsetting that nobody realizes ITS STILL HAPPENING #its a thing to laugh over its a thing that's passed- I KNOW PEOPLE WHO CAUGHT COVID THIS MONTH #'during covid' THATS STILL NOW

[rithmeres]

yes, the plans that i could not share with you (because the haters would sabotage me) were that i was taking on LACC in my vash getup :)

i have so few pictures of myself but i got so many compliments (especially on my arm) and plenty of other people took pictures of me. and normally i don't like attention but i will be honest with u. under these circumstances i loved it. my arm held up really well through 8 hours on the convention floor and i have never been prouder of anything i've made. it's articulated incredibly well, no part of it gave out or required repair, it's never uncomfortable or a nuisance to wear, and i have enough range of motion to do relatively complex things like tying my shoes.

originally i was not planning to try to meet anyone famous because 1) it's expensive and 2) the lines are long and 3) i feel weird and annoying approaching literally anyone for any reason BUT. the spot where i met up with my sister just happened to be right next to johnny yong bosch's table. right when he started signing things. so i said LOL ok i'll do it.

it was super chill, i asked him how it felt to get the call that they wanted him to come back 20 years later for a trigun reboot and he said it almost didn't happen -- that since they recast everyone else for stampede they considered recasting vash as well (and i said WOW i'm so glad they didn't) and he said he really enjoyed getting to come back and explore a darker take (i forget if what he said was a darker take on vash's character, or just a darker trigun in general) but it was briefly surprising 2 me that he considered stampede to be a darker version but i get it, especially when u consider that there is not a lot of comedy in those 12 episodes to balance out the grief.

ANYWAY he was impressed with my arm and i asked him if he would sign my coat :) so he signed the lining but he was also like u know what, i'm gonna give you a second autograph just because. so he signed a print for me as well (free of charge!!) and the print with the blue signature matches my famous paintings that i always film in front of (that's providence baybee)

other stuff from the con under the cut

cosplay notes:

i saw 3 other vash cosplayers (a 98 vash, a stampede vash, and a purple coat vash) and no shade but i definitely had the best arm build. peace and love to all of them though

i saw 1 1/2 wolfwoods. 1 was the aforementioned mullet wolfwood from yesterday's post (ww if you’re out there ww) and the 1/2 was the 98 vash cosplayer’s gf in some kind of goth-ish dress and she was carrying a punisher

mullet wolfwood if you're out there i regret not getting a picture with you so much. i am deeply ashamed and i have no excuse because i ran into you twice and both times i was too embarrassed to ask for a picture. i just want you to know that your punisher was swag and your earrings were yolo and we would look very good together

i expected to see a lot more trigun tbh. los angeles where u at. 4 vashies at a convention of 120,000+ people is nothing. one guy even walked up to me like wow i love ur vash, i haven't seen a lot of trigun at this con and i was like I KNOW i thought i'd see a lot more

theeeee costume of all time award goes to the cad bane cosplayer i saw on the balcony. spare hand in marriage dude (gn) you looked so good

second place for costume of all time goes to the other mother cosplayer who had button eyes and these crazy finger appendages and never once broke character even while waiting in lines

i took 100 points of psychic damage from this one guy who (and im not kidding) was at least 6’4’’ and wearing platform boots and was dressed as the mfing onceler. with the stupid top hat he was fr 7+ feet tall (i saw him duck to get through a doorway).

someone was there as the brawny paper towel guy?? just walking around in a beard and flannel carrying a pack of paper towel rolls?? go off king

i saw 5 nightwing cosplayers but only 2 were biblically accurate (had ass)

the nanami sweep at this convention was so real u all SHOWED UP. and everybody ate. i saw at least 12 nanamis and not one of them was a flop.

i have never seen so many spider-mans in my life

other things:

fig. 1: this extremely hot captain america on a very large poster was about 2 make me act unwise. hi gorjus................................. nice eyebrows

fig 2: i saw this sign a couple blocks away from the con and i did a triple take. 🔥🔥🔥TRIMAX MENTIONED🔥🔥🔥

fig. 3: i saw all 4 hobbits in panel and can confirm elijah wood’s laugh is ten times more infectious in real life. before they were even done sitting down, dominic monaghan switched around all of their name cards so that none of them were seated behind the right name. as u might imagine much of the panel's content was reminiscing about LOTR, but i heard some stories that i hadn't heard before. they also talked about video games, other projects they are working/have worked on, how their kids feel about their dads' LOTR roles, how much they love ian mckellen, and how they would love to see something happen for the 20th anniversary of ROTK this year. sean astin (the legend) took shots at the stranger things writers (basically said joyce could never be happy with hopper) AND EVERYONE CLAPPED LOL. billy and dom talked about the best food in NZ, their show billy and dom eat the world, and the unfortunate events that led to the friendship onion's hiatus. it was a ton of fun to just watch them be themselves with each other, you can tell that these guys are all so fond of each other and love each other so much.

and finally, fig. 4: i bought these beautiful prints from @/batinyourbelfry and the skeletal washi tape from @/skeletalacademia (both on IG)

#this post is all over the place but i want u all to experience this with me. baby's first convention #i didn't hate it like i thought i might but i am absolutely WIPED and will b perfectly content to not go to another con for several years #lacc #los angeles comic con #it's so funny walking around and just hearing someone go VASH and literally being like. who said that. #like there are 5 million people in this corridor. where are u so i can acknowledge you #my immediate defense mechanism is to toss up a peace sign so it's very convenient that it is something in character for vash #my favorite compliment was this one guy who was just like 'THAT'S FUCKIN SICK' from across the aisle and i was like 'YEAH!!!!' #long post #ackchewally the more i think about it. i do think sometimes people mischaracterize stampede as lighter than the other triguns #simply because the characters look more baby than their other counterparts #even though many elements of stampede are. truly so dark. #like we are not at manga-level-dark yet but HOO BOY i have no doubt we will get there #i'm dying to see what other horrors orange is cooking bc i KNOW they're cooking awful manga things (laudatory) #hot single dads in your area #my cosplay #this post has taken me hours to write. im so sick of it at this point begone from my sight i hate u

[the-meme-monarch]

if my dad shows me one more fucking video of people getting grievously injured like it’s funny im going to do the same thing to him. see you laugh then you cunt.

#just don’t get why he doesnt have common fucking decency. why are you even getting videos like this on your fucking facebook page #why is there a video of someone breaking their leg on your facebook page. why do you think it’s funny. why do you want to show me that. #so fucking sick of having literally being normal about shit and being treated like im unreasonable. you are the one who’s fucked up. #behead the monarch

[smilepaint]

anyway the concept of passing is a scam. we will never be liberated until the idea that a trans person's inherent value and worth and validity is directly proportional to their resemblance to a cis person. and i say this not just to those who struggle to or do not fit into that box, but to those who very much do and are counting themselves lucky.

the same way that its unhealthy and unreasonable to expect a same gender couple to conform to notions of what a heterosexual family should be, its unhealthy and unreasonable to have to expect a transgender experience of identity and a transgender body to conform to a cisgender ideal. not only does it further the marginalisation of trans people and drive a wedge in our community, but it's an unhealthy way to see the world and relate to yourself. its not fair to expect a human being to go their whole life in states of checking the value of their body and their life against a societally imposed, often unattainable model that may not even reflect their own desires or goals.

it's tough, i know how tough it is to go against everything you've been taught, and the right to seek medical intervention to reshape ourselves in a way that deepens and solidifies our connection to our bodies is and will always be important. but for your own mental health, whatever shape you take must reflect yourself first. not a cis persons. transition is about making a home out of the body you're living in, in whatever way works for you.

you deserve the mental freedom that comes with removing "passing" from your emotional radar entirely. trans bodies are good bodies.

#text tag #transgender #nonbinary #transition #gender #this is kind of a loaded take so to tack on some things #i am a trans person who's struggled with severe dysphoria for many years and was obsessed with passing as cis for a long time #there was a long time in which i would've preferred to stop living over going the rest of my life with visible surgery scars #just think about that.. idk how fucked is it that teen me thought it would be better to literally die than have one clear tell that im trans #im so much happier post surgery scars and all and like yes i fucking hate them. but i know i shouldn't and im trying to heal #also im very aware that passing as cis is OFTEN a safety issue and thats not what im speaking to here #im talking about mental health and longterm societal change and the gradual betterment of gender diverse peoples #not just from a gender standpoint but honestly from a decolonial standpoint #from a te ao māori perspective there was never an ideal of passing as “cis” for trans or takatāpui individuals #anyway yea obsession with passing wears people down into self hating wrecks and im sick of seeing that happen to our youth #and to every trans person regardless of where they're at in their journey

[bobmckenzie]

I was so upset this morning that when I put my laundry in the wash I fucking forgot to put in any detergent or anything. I just fucking washed my laundry with plain cold water. bye.

I'm not even redoing it whatever it's just two blankets

#started my morning with my friend criticizing my breakfast and arguing with me about food 🙄 I DIDNT ASK... #im so sick of people criticizing the way i eat its literally been happening my whole life im so tired of it... MIND YOUR BUSINESS! #and like it's never from a place of 'you should eat better for yourself' it's literally always just making fun of me. #yayy finch reaction gif at least #and at least my parents are always nice about it. to them i eat healthy lol #i live with them so if they were critical of it i think I would just like. combust or something. #food mention #caitiechat