#BUT IM THAT FRUSTRATED WITH MY CREATIVE BLOCK | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

chronicallyonline-fandomwh0r3 · 4 months

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Y'know... i love the dpxdc fandom a lot. I follow a lot of creators and love to see different viewpoints on this fandom.

BUT, that does not mean I will tolerate people being asses and/or bullies. YOU don't want to see this crossover? the fucking block tags/blogs button is RIGHT THERE.

Limiting peoples fun and want to write? FUCK YOU.

Limiting peoples creativity and crack filled bullshittery of posts? FUCK YOU.

THIS IS TUMBLR, ITS NOT MENT TO BE A SERIOUS SITE. WE LOVINGLY CALL IT THE HELL SITE FOR A REASON.

Now, anyone who sees this post will be wondering why I'm being a bitch and what brought this on.

WELL, I have been gone for a few days dealing with real life shit and when I come back, i find out that this @jedipirateking person keeps "fact checking" and "I don't like this for so and so" on a lot of my mutuals posts.

Now at first I didn't want to deal with it. I made one response and BLOCKED the person.

I come back AGAIN after being gone for a few more days to find this account being a total DOUCHEBAG about my post and several others concerning power scaling systems. (i had to unblock to figure out why so many people were having arguments in my replies and such, AND BOY WAS IT A MESS.)

Now usually I would love to have an in depth conversation with you concerning power systems.

BUT, that post? THAT my dude was a CRACK POST. it was meant to be fun and all bullshit. NOTHING SERIOUS!

AND saying CANON beats FANON always? DUDE, the whole phandom is crack bullshit and FANON. There is little CANON used in the DP Phandom at any given moment!

If you want to start your bullshit hating on people, GO TO FUCKING REDDIT. THIS IS TUMBLR, WE ARE CRINGEY AND FUCKING BULLSHITING ALL THE TIME.

STOP. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME OR NEEDED.

BLOCK US. BLOCK THE TAGS. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK, JUST LEAVE WRITERS AND CREATIVE PEOPLE BE FUCKING CREATIVE. EVEN IF ITS CRACKED UP BULLSHIT.

Now, yelling over. Reply to this post, comment, i dont give a flying fuck. I'll keep you unblocked to be able to see ur bullshit. BUT i encourage everyone in the DPxDC fandom to block this person and ignore them. Its obvious they want to hate on people becuase they themselves are full of hate and anger at something else.

I hope you figure out your life and bullshit dude. Really i do. Because right now your cowardly ass is fucking up everyone elses fun.

To my mutuals

I am so frustrated with this happening and being late to the party. Please just block this douchbag.

also @bonebrokebuddy i love the reply you gave me. Thank you for the conversation starter for power scaling and challenging stuff. im just tired of this guy shitting on everyones posts lately.

@stealingyourbones @bongo-clash @spacedace @britcision

#dp x dc #dc x dp #fandom discourse #angry people being angry #shut up dude.#go to reddit #use the block button #but shut the fuck up for real

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thesovereignsring-if · 6 months

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can we get some author lore maybe!!!!!

Haha! I'm sorry to say I'm rather a boring person.

I'm just a Cambodian-Canadian in my twenties. I'm a visual artist first before Im any sort of writer and programer haha! I go by Lili because Lilies are my favourite flowers (and my birth month flower), but Becca is cool too. 👍

Read lots of manga and watched lots of anime growing up and played a LOT of jrps, I still do partake when I have free time. Personal favourites are FFX/FFIX, Fire Emblem Three Houses, Triangle Strategy and Vanillaware's entire library ( Go play 13 sentinels if you ever see it on sale, the story is amazing!!) . I mostly play Stardew Valley, Genshin, Star Rail and Animal Crossing these days.

I got into the IFs when I injured my drawing hand (the wrist specifically) for 2 months and was going through a rough patch because of it. Back then TSR was going to be a webtoon and the premise/cast was pretty different. I got really frustrated with my circumstances (and how long it takes to make a webtoon jfc) and IFs came a right time for me to still be creative without straining myself too hard. And now we're here! Haha

Aside from that I mostly listen to K-pop (lots and lots of k-pop) on the side while I'm working. I'm a big Block B fan 🐝, but I still listen to a lot of the big groups that are active rn. I'm particularly excited for all the boy groups that came out from Boys Planet. :)

#answered asks

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finniestoncrane · 8 months

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!!! hi finnie congrats on getting 1.5k followers you totally deserve it!! 💚💜!! im very kindly putting my silly little order down. im giving you creative freedom mostly I trust your judgement!

Delivery, Black Coffee, Question Mark Shaped Nuggies (btas specifically please!), Sweet Potato Fries

I genuinely hope this is enough to work with! congratulations again finnie you deserve all the accolades that you’ve earned so far!

btas!riddler x gn!reader, word count: 350 content (warnings): mostly just hcs about eddie being eddie, kind of domestic (or incarcerated) fluff lol orders open here! 🔞minors dni🔞 • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie1500 (to follow or to block) a/n: ah ty my sweet!! i'm so excited to write more of this charming man omg💚

eddie sits at the same table for visitation periods each time

you've never really questioned it, he is a man of habit after all, of compulsions

you did made one comment about how it wasn't particularly the most discreet table

to which you were given a lecture on the fact that being in the center of the action muffles what you might discuss, and the location of the table towards the middle of the room offers less chance of your words to each other being caught in an echo trap

all of which you listened to with wide eyes, chin balanced on your hands, grateful for each word

you were certain that if you didn't have such strong, and persistent, memories of how his touch felt, how his skin felt against yours

that his words would be the thing you missed most of all

and he's more than happy to provide you with those while you're there

he rarely speaks about what he's been doing or how he's been feeling

partly to keep that information from you in a protective sense, not wanting to worry you over his boredom and frustration

but also because admitting it out loud would make it impossible for him to ignore

right now, he can pretend that he's content, happy to wait out his sentence and return to his work

and more importantly, return to you

once he's fed you enough information to have your brain whizzing, he turns his attentions to you and the outside world

always keen to know if you're keeping busy

which you should be, because ever prepared edward nygma was organised

while he would never doubt his own intelligence, he had to prepare for the possibility that he would have been caught

so you're well-stocked with his notebooks, plans and scheme for you to ponder over, to offer him assistance on when he's free once again

and of course, there's the riddles he left behind, each one's answer leading you to a gift, or a place, something special to you

so it never really feels like you're without him at all

#finnie writes #finnie1500

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genlossneg · 11 months

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thank you for this blog im boutta post a lot of my suffering in here enjoy the essay

I’m not a ranboo fan at all, i just heard about a cool horror project from a name i’m familiar with and i was excitedly waiting for perhaps a new kid on the block with cool content and the resources to do so. I’ve seen what people with three coins and a piece of lint can do out of passion, and so i expected that someone that has far more resources out of the gate would be able to really take it out of the park if they were equally as passionate. I’ll just grab a couple of points and elaborate.

Intentionally bad.

This is the poorest excuse for low quality content I’ve heard. Not a single self-respecting creative that actually cares about their project would make something ACTUALLY bad. Anytime you see something that’s intentionally bad and yet somehow beloved, look DEEPER. Because behind that veil of “bad” is actually often a HUGE amount of effort and care put into something a creator cared about.

Intentionally bad content is still made with the intention to be fun to watch, to be entertaining. There is very little entertainment found in any of the genloss bad content.

Lack of horror content

The main excuses i’ve seen is that they were scared of Twitch TOS, to which I say lolwhat. You had two whole years to contact twitch and talk it out with them and figure out what part of your project and show would fly and what wouldn’t, and instead you opted to really cut out any horror aspect at all for fear of being banned on twitch? And even then, content more gorey and disturbing than this is allowed on twitch. If Until Dawn flies on twitch, I think gen loss could have gone wilder.

And if they REALLY didn’t want to risk it, for the love of god at least be creative with your attempts to circumvent it? The goofy poor editing of the red in ep2 during the surgery sequence took me out of it entirely and confused me so much. You know what they could’ve done? TURNED THE LIGHTING A STARK RED. THAT’S IT. THE MOST BASIC THING, TO AT LEAST REALLY GET ACROSS THAT SOMETHING IS WRONG.

The acting

I was a theatre kid in highschool and let me tell you even the 13 year olds acted with more passion and devotion to the role than 95% of the cast in gen loss. Even during improv. You can tell that there is basically no script to gen loss and that its purely “X will happen then Y will happen and we need to fill it with conversation and improv” with zero direction on tone or anything. It was so painful seeing how little effort had gone into the acting. Ranboo can’t act for shit and should have gone through some acting classes before taking on a live show. The only ones that were visibly trying were charlie and jerma and the people who were frozen robots during ep3 (because as someone who had to stay frozen in pose hours on end for a play while on-stage, that shit is HARD)

Hetch’s acting was even more laughable, and his fakeout death was… something. An incredibly cartoonish “uguguhh” exiting his mouth- really? Also It was so frustrating to have his voice come from seemingly nowhere. There was no source to his voice.

It sucked so much seeing ranboo actually TRY to be better in his acting in episode 3 because when he suddenly started being intense it felt WRONG and out of character, because there was no natural leadup to him being like that. ep 1 and 2 were so bad that even when ep 3 was better it felt disappointing.

Lighting

Its already been mentioned by film student anon that the lighting is such a huge amateur mistake but I want to touch upon the creative aspect of the lighting a little more.

There was such an utter lack of using colored lighting to really set tones in scenes and it SUCKED. Like, already with the lack of outright horror blood and gore, they NEEDED creative lighting to at least intensify scenes! Add some damn flickering lights! Green lighting? Something- anything. Again, TEENAGERS have been more creative with lighting in a performance and all they had was four colors to work with and nothing fancy.

Camerawork

I wish they would have actually done good camera work. Set up some cameras in locations and acted in front of them instead of having someone follow ranboo around and having some “lore” explanation for it that makes little sense. Having moving cameras that are shaky and constantly cutting people frame-wise is just not pleasant to watch and does not add anything useful. On top of the camera quality jarringly changing between shots constantly it just… ruined the flow.

in ep3, we had an explanation for why there’s a camera following ranboo, and we got some REALLY COOL ESTABLISHING SHOTS THAT…. made no sense in lore. Why would the “drone” following ranboo take establishing shots? It’s supposed to follow ranboo- but then later it gets dismissed and we suddenly have sharp camera cuts to what im guessing was a prerecorded scene due to the camera quality change and it just felt. So sudden and jarring? Like okay you just dismissed the camera and now we suddenly get a different non-canon camera because they remembered we actually need to still see whats happening.

Lore/Story

The lore and story we have gotten so far is so scatterbrained and nonsensical. + knowing that this project isn’t actually what gen loss was supposed to be (which: Why are you advertising it as gen loss then, ranboo? You’re just staining the name of your passion project). So much of genloss is in the “I guess” category of why things happened. But the consistensy also felt so off. From what I understand, Charlie is the slime demon, and was the guy on the gurney, and was also in ep 3 as himself. And all those other versions WERE the ep3 charlie. How? Charlie died? twice? According to what has happened? But he’s alive anyway at the end until he gets killed again by a cheap backrooms monster? But supposedly everyone else did actually die?

I just. Genuinely do not understand what the story here was. What the point was of everything. I’m not gonna ask who the characters were because the characters were just the streamers and nothing special or new. If you know the streamer, thats the “character”. It’s just godawful writing.

Viewer interaction

Viewer interaction was pointless and didn’t matter. Either every choice the viewers made was gonna happen anyway, or ranboo decided to ignore it lol. It felt like there was no impact to viewers doing anything to influence the show and the show probably would have been largely better had viewer interaction not been a thing at all.

also idk maybe making ranboo’s “character” aware of the audience from the get go would have been more fun as they could’ve been trying to get the audience to do anything while we’re just watching quietly. And they could’ve gotten more and more desperate with the audience as things went on. But then again that requires actual acting skills that ranboo barely has.

Just as some final words, this really feels like a case of someone who has never done anything like this thinking they can do this because they’re famous and well-liked online. I know ranboo makes a lot of money, so they certainly had enough money to make something good. Take some film classes or acting classes. Instead they became overambitious and made just a generally unpleasant show that is not going to make me want to watch any future gen loss content in good faith.

The entire show depends on going “MY STREAMER!!! THATS MY STREAMER!!!” and would not survive on its own merit. The hype towards gen loss was misleading on what it’d be, and the fans made amazing fanart that does not live up to the reality of what they got and i feel genuinely sad for them. The fanbase made a better interpretation of what gen loss is WITHOUT EVEN NEEDING GEN LOSS TO BE OFFICIALLY RELEASED.

also a final thing about the merch but why is the merch so bad lol. Its such boring design. The gen loss logo appears barely anywhere in the show itself. The fans could’ve had some sort of cool merch, like masks based off of ranboo’s mask and the showfall robot masks. Shirts and merch based off of the slime demon and warehouse master.

Anyway sorry for the huge wall of text I have just been going insane abt this to my friend in dms enjoy

————————————————–

i could probably spend hours responding to all of this! thank you for the mini essay, you make a ton of great points. i really sympathize with the “not a ranboo fan” stance because my friends are way more fans of him than i am, and were way invested.

i personally haven’t heard any “it’s supposed to be bad!” defenses but i can totally believe there are people like that out there lol. i definitely in the “there’s no entertainment when it’s bad”. you’re entirely right about the lack of horror! i was so confused after the first stream and everyone was like “it’s not supposed to be horror yet! you don’t understand!” and then it took until the 3rd stream for anything significant to even happen, and even then it was weak.

charlie and jerma did so much for gen loss man, ranboo’s acting was just.. not that great and when it was, it felt so jarring. more interesting lighting would’ve been so fun! so much could’ve been done with that, and that’s especially clear when they switch cameras because they had the ability to film this incredibly and just.. didn’t. i feel like we didn’t get so much lore that we should have, especially with how long the streams were. i hope we get something clearer later on.

the idea of him being aware of chat the whole time would be cool, but idk if it would’ve worked with the “brainwashed” thing he was doing. overall i agree - gen loss was super hyped up and in this form, it didn’t live up to it as well as it could have. once again, ty for the mini-essay, it was a great read!

#submission #gen loss neg #gen loss crit

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zabiume · 5 months

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sorry if this is any way discouraging… not exactly the word im going … offending? jdjdjdjd I just wanted to say hearing when you say that a fic like the ichiishihime one it took a lot of time and how you wrote it slowly! like it was… very inspiring to see to me. because fjjfjf writing is v difficult and i always get frustrated when I write slow and i keep hitting blocks (honestly most of the time it’s not even blocks but more like it’s those fics that just a bit of marinating in between of working on it) but seeing how much your writing is so good and how much I really really love it. It making me more appreciate of writing slow, despite how much I want to get the end and get frustrated when there’s no progress for months or ahaha a year and more. it doesn’t feel like im alone in it and like — I love your writing so much and it makes me wonder, why can’t I love and take pride in my own too in all its slowness. as the craft of writing is like that sometimes

JDJDJJD I DO NOT IF I GOT THSI ACROSS WELL… but just! wanted to thank you! your writing inspires a lot in me with how you write bleach characters and everything. just! thank you 🥺💞

this was not offensive at ALL, don't worry! rather, i'm very touched you said this because if this is the message my writing process is sending then i am very, very happy about that!

i'm not sure if you can relate to this, specifically, but i think for a lot of working/studying people, we're very used to having deadlines and having to be "on" all the time that maybe some of it seeps into our attitude regarding our hobbies as well. i don't mean this in a kids-these-days way, but we are also in a culture of fast consumption lately with streaming and binging, where it seems unnatural to spend YEARS with a series — even though that was a pretty normal thing to do only a few years ago😅 the urgency of that kind of gives the impression that you have a limited window of time to stay "relevant" before people stop being interested in your work and move onto something else!

BUT. the thing about fandoms is that they are alive forever. even if everyone else has moved on, there's always going to be at least one rando on the internet writing fic and one japanese artist on twitter still dropping renaissance level masterpieces. which is all to say....the pressure to write fast is the devil talking and we must NEVER listen to it!!! there is no deadline and even if you feel like there is, there are going to be days where you have IRL commitments that keep you busy. and sometimes you might have an entire afternoon off but still be unable to come up with a single word. my creativity has always arrived in random streaks and if i'm free, i try my best to take advantage of it and put it all on a doc. if i'm not feeling creatively inspired, i don't write at all, i just do something else that i enjoy doing.

believe it or not, when i was writing A Combination of Factors, there were WEEKS where i only wrote 2-3 sentences a day. yeah, that's slow, but i still put it out eventually, right? the chadhime training scene in Therein Lies the Heart was actually something spinning in my head since 2019 (when i got back into the bleach fandom again) but i only managed to work it into a story earlier this year.

the reason i'm giving these examples is because sometimes it's good to sit on an idea for a while, even if the urge to share a good thing instantly is definitely understandable! more often than not, you'll get more good ideas you can add to the story and build it in a better, satisfying way. i know this from experience because there are a lot of stories that i was so excited to share that i jumped the gun and then later thought, "damn, i still had more left in me." not that i regret it because i go in, add it anyway and then update the author's notes in case any re-readers get confused by the extra content that definitely wasn't here last time :D my policy on that is: it's fanfic, who cares, i make the rules. it also helps to have more than one WIP so you can always have something else to work on if you feel like writing but this one particular story is giving you trouble.

anyway, i love the part where you mentioned taking pride in your own work because i think you definitely should! even if no one loves your fic but you, you still deserve to pat yourself on the back because ONE WHOLE PERSON enjoyed your story! the important thing, as i always say, is to be deeply involved and self-indulgent with it! 💖

#this is very kind thanks for taking the time to send it :') i hope you find yourself creatively inspired whenever you want to be #and that you write things that make you happy – no matter how long it takes!#be slow at it be bad at it be cringe etc etc. you make the rules and you get to break them!#idk why this got so long but thanks again💖 have a lovely week💖#asks

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funhouse-mirror-barbie · 3 months

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(This is a reply to this post) @savagepassion well, I’m Christian and was raised in a Christian community and church. Where I live, Christianity is open—it’s not a closed practice. I know that many sects of Christianity want to convert more people to the practice. I don’t know the exact religious practices of all the creators and writers for HH and HB, but I believe a creator has gone on record as saying that Hh and HB are how she has explored her religious trauma (could be wrong, will have to see if I can confirm that). (Reply continues below)

This means they’re making a story reflecting on their own culture and religion. Doing so doesn’t mean that people can’t criticize them for this and it doesn’t mean that other people from that culture can’t also be frustrated with this and criticize the portrayal of their religion.

My main issue isn’t with a religion being depicted in a way that deviates from that religions’ canon—mainly I don’t think it’s good for someone outside of a religion (ESPECIALLY a closed practice) or culture to use whatever they want from that culture without taking the time to understand the significance or importance whatever they are taking has.

I will agree that this could also apply to Christianity, but specifically in places where it is a minority practice and culture. In a place or another culture where Christianity is demonized and Christians are or have been persecuted and have to practice privately or close their practice, then yeah. That could be dangerous.

But I’m from the US where Christianity is the vast majority and is open to all. Again I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure the majority of the HH creative team are from the US, so there’s a good chance they also grew up in Christianity and are depicting their own culture. I don’t personally have an issue with aspects of Christianity being discussed and explored and fictionalized b/c my religion is open, and where I’m from it’s the dominant religion, to the point where very few people actually dare to criticize it in some cases.

If a practitioner of Voudou or someone from within the various cultures that come from Voudou wanted to make a series or media about their own culture, that would be different. They would probably also get criticism from within their community for doing so, and that’s fair too. But that is a conversation for the members of /that/culture to have.

You can absolutely criticize Hazbin Hotel for using Christian mythology (and Im /not/ using the word “mythology” as an insult or to insinuate that Christianity is made up—pretty much all religions have mythos—it’s just the word used to describe the stories that make up the history of a religion—whether or not you believe in that mythology as being factual or fiction is up to you). That’s a normal thing to do, and if you’re Christian and are frustrated or upset by the way your religion is being portrayed those feelings are valid, and you are allowed to talk about it.

Regardless of all of that, I think there is a PROFOUND difference in someone taking parts of a minority closed culture and religious practice that has been previously maligned, demonized, and racially discriminated against, for their own uses, and someone examining and criticizing the majority beliefs and opinions of their own culture and religion.

Also this is as surface level as I could get with this reply, there’s a lot more to go into specifically about the racism (general and institutional/systematic) that is a part of this, as well as the MAIN thing that bothers me—black people, and black practitioners of Voudou who are a part of the minority culture in this case have been speaking out about their culture being used inappropriately, and have been largely ignored or shouted down by fans of Hazbin. Apparently the creator has also been blocking them as well?

The whole thing really reeks of cultural appropriation and racism, regardless of if that was ever the intent or not. It’s just been handled really poorly by the creative team and the fandom and I genuinely don’t understand it.

Final note—it’s very frustrating to hear “what about (X tangentially related thing)????” when talking about these issues. My original post wasn’t talking about Christianity, and “but what about Christianity?” doesn’t need to be a part of this conversation. Bringing it up and talking about it definitely diverted some attention away from my initial point on my original post.

But. I genuinely love talking about religion and religious studies—I minored in religious studies and think religion and spirituality can be a beautiful thing—and the ways religion impacts and intertwines with human culture is very interesting.

So I mean. Nah.

But also yah, because the world is huge and complex and what applies to one place does not necessarily apply to the whole world and nothing is ever in a vacuum.

But also. Like. Nah.

#funhouse convo #media criticism #media critique #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel critique #not really but #reply #cultural appropriation #the main issue isn’t that religion is being used in fiction #it’s that a closed religion that has been heavily demonized in the story’s setting is being taken w/o permission #and the creators are not listening to me members of that religion

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blueeandyellowmakesgreen · 1 year

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so @strangeswift gave me a writing prompt of will bonding with someone through art, and mike getting jealous and i got.. uh.. carried away 😁😁

anyway, hope you enjoy it!!

will finds himself painting a lot lately. due to their, er, current situation, it was hard to find the best art materials, but he guesses it was a perfect opportunity to try out more sketching just to get it out of his system.

he sits on an empty bench near hawkins high, currently waiting for mike to finish his volunteering shift. mike actually asked him to stay with him, but he insisted he needed some fresh air alone. he tried to ignore mike’s hurt puppy expression and the somber way he said ‘oh, okay.’ as he requested it.

he didnt know what he was drawing. he practically had two full pages full of scribbles that amounted to nothing, that it led him to exhale out of frustration. he places the crumpled pages close to him so he makes sure to properly throw it later. he hated not being able to make things. it was the only way to keep him distracted from his thoughts, but his mind just decided…not to cooperate. the brain’s funny like that. will’s brain is funny like that. he had the biggest art block since the entire world ended and all that could occupy his mind was his stupid unrequited crush. so sue him for not making the creative juices flow enough.

that is, until he sees a particular guy at his proximity. he looked like a student, and he was talking with his friends. he seemed cheerful, a bright spirit with the way his laugh projects from where will was sitting. long, curly hair brunette, with kind eyes. he was wearing an oversized polo with that was effortlessly tucked into his shorts. if will was staring any longer like a creep, he could have sworn he saw piercings under his nose too.

and before will knew it, will draws a stroke, then two. it didnt take long until he was drawing a wisp of the boy’s hair, building it up. absentmindedly, his hands begin to move on its own as he puts in a couple of short strokes in a certain area. the lines lead to a nose with a strong bridge. he transitions to putting quite some detail in the subject’s lips, and then the kind eyes will took in great detail of.

just a couple of details, some subtle shading and… done.

will marvels at his new creation, and he found it hard not to stare. mostly because he couldnt believe he was capable of drawing something this good. he believed at least, that it was enough to capture this person’s beauty, that was worth something. and even if he’s the only one he’d think that, he’ll hold it close. he lets himself be proud of this one.

‘’tsk. damn, i knew i was attractive, but…’’

will jumps at the voice behind him. as if on instinct, he swiftly fumbles to close his sketchbook and set it aside. his head darts from his sketchbook, to the guy behind him.

and after a few short glances, will concludes this is not just some guy. this was the guy who he was just fucking sketching in public and now he has no idea how to get out of this situation that doesnt make him seem like a creep.

but he also found it rude to leave the guy hanging overall. he takes a deep breath. whats the harm in digging the grave a bit deeper?

‘’h-hey, uh.. listen about this...i dont normally do this. draw like this in public.’’ will manages to croak out. smooth.

the boy’s kind eyes smile. ‘’but im just soo handsome that i broke that habit out of you? im flattered.’’

‘’i-im sorry, i didnt mean to freak you out. let me just..’’ will stammers, in the process of tearing out the paper where the sketch is. before he starts to crumple it, the boy suddenly holds will’s hand. will knew it was to stop him, but the fact a boy is holding his hand thats not a threat in any way is making his brain short circuit a bit.

‘’before you do that..can i see it?’’ the boy asks earnestly. will could only stare, incredulous. ‘’come on, its my face. i at least have a right to see it.’’

‘’it-it’s not really that good.’’

‘’ill be the judge of that.’’ he smirks, and gently takes the sketch off of will’s hands. he leaves him with a flirtatious smirk leaving will flushed.

he then turns his gaze onto the paper and continues to look at it for what seemed like an eternity for will. he scans his face for a reaction, but it looked like the boy was still making his final verdict.

will was dying. he didnt know why he cared about the opinion of this boy so much, but he did. hell, something must have possessed him, because the last time he drew a boy he found pretty was mike wheeler and he was basically his muse. he felt like he was betraying mike somehow, even if he never actually told mike he was the constant subject of a of his paintings.

will wanted to jump off a cliff from this humiliating revalation.

‘’you’re amazing,’’ the boy’s booming voice brings will back to reality. ‘’i love the way you shade. you brought out my features so well in a way thats you. like from this piece alone, i can tell what your distinctive art style is, and that is insanely difficult to pull off. you should be proud!’’

will finds himself at a loss of words from the sudden compliment. he has no doubt his face is as red as an apple right now. all he could do was nod rapidly, and mutter a simple thanks. the boy attempts to flip a page, only to look back at will with a look asking for approval. will nods again to accept. one person looking at his sketchbook couldnt hurt, right?

..until he reaches the forbidden page where its full of mike drawings. he feels his cheeks glow red again, heart rate beating. he cant believe he forgot that was even there. this is why he doesnt let people see his stuff! its all of his feelings in one page!

however, he wasnt met with a look of disgust. just curiosity, and softness. ‘’these are all great. i can see youve been experimenting with a lot of mediums here; acrylic, charcoal. have you tried oil?’’

‘’oh.. yeah. oil is a little new for me. im meaning to get better at it though.’’

‘’good. its good to be an all rounder.’’ the boy says enthusiastically as he flips more pages, the beaming look of genuine awe never leaving his face. more pages of his sketches of mike show up, and will intends to coil himself into a ball until he shrinks to nonexistence.

‘’i notice you draw this guy a lot. is he someone you like?’’

will freezes.

the boy closes the sketchbook, waving his hands in the air. ‘’no, no, shit! um…dont worry. dont worry, okay? fuck, i keep forgetting it’s…’’ the boy sighs. will starts to get confused at his reaction. why was he taking this so strongly?

‘’im…i didnt mean to scare you. its just.. im.. i mean, if you are..’’ the boy continues to stammer, and will feels himself lean closer.

could he also be..?

‘’m-my boyfriend. im an artist too, actually. and i tend to draw him a lot.’’ he finally lets out, his hand gently caressing will’s sketchbook and brings it back to him. ‘’its normal.’’

‘its normal.’

its normal.

will repeats it to himself like a mantra.

will holds out a breath he didnt know he was holding. he smiles widely. god, hes actually meeting someone who’s just like him. unfortunately taken, but wow.

we do exist.

‘’well..he’s not my boyfriend though.’’ will mutters, playing with the spirals on the top of his sketchbook. his smile drops once he says it. ‘’mike-his name is mike- has a girlfriend. well, had a girlfriend.’’

‘’oh fuck.’’

‘’.. who just so happens to be my sister.’’

‘’oh fuck.’’

will finds himself smiling at his reaction. yeah, he knows his situation’s the worst, but at least he can get a kick out of how people are taking it. ‘’yep.’’ he replies popping the ‘p’ at the end.

‘’im sorry, man.’’

‘’its okay. all i wanted was for us to be best friends again. but lately, i feel like…we aren’t anymore.’’

‘’why do you say that?’’

will still finds it strange and shocking how he’s openly telling someone about his definitely not straight feelings to a stranger, but in all honesty he never felt safer in his life. so he finds it in himself to continue.

‘’i-i don’t know,’’ will scoffs. ‘’i don’t even know what i did. we’re at such a.. weird stage in our friendship right now that i dont even know what we are. first he ignores me for her, now when he broke up with her, hes running back to me spouting about he wants to be friends, and now hes gone back to fixating over her and ignoring me again. like… i feel like’s playing with me. and i hate myself for it. i should get angry, but all i can do is accept when he runs back to me, even if its so unfair. because unfortunately, ive been in love with this stupid guy for as long as i can remember, and i feel stuck.’’

will presses his lips to a line, and closes his eyes. before he knew it, tears slowly started to come down. and now he’s crying to a stranger. great! ‘’sorry. i never.. met someone like me before, so this is..’’

‘’dont apologize, alright man? i get it,’’ the boy says as he gently rubs will’s back. ‘’this is huge for me too.’’

‘’how did you know? weren’t you worried i was going to..be disgusted, or something?’’ will asks.

he shrugs. ‘’i dont know. there’s something about you. about me. we just know, right?’’

will wipes his tears and sniffs. ‘..yeah. right.’’

‘’and concerning your friend…’’ the boy smiles gradually. ‘’don’t give up.’’

‘’what?’’

‘’after what you told me? something tells me its.. not over between you two.’’

before will could inquire any more, a gentle but tight grip lands on his shoulder. he turns around, it was mike. ‘’hey, sorry for the wait. you good?’’

‘’oh, yeah.’’ will turns to the boy with kind eyes with a big grin. ‘’im really glad i met you.’’

the boy grins back. ‘’me too! is there any way we can keep in touch?’’

‘’yeah! yeah, let me just..’’ will tears a small piece of paper from his sketchbook and starts writing his number down. before he could continue, he turns to mike with an apologetic look. ‘’sorry for this mike, give me 2 minutes.’’

‘’sure, whatever.’’ mike says flatly, not even looking at will. he was crossing his arms, his demeanor all grumpy.

okay, weird. did something happen back in the school?

will finishes writing the number and gives it to the boy. ‘’this is at the wheeler’s place, but we’re just staying over there. you can just ask for me.’’

‘’i mean i would, but i dont even know your name.’’

before will could open his mouth, mike takes over for him. ‘’his name is will. what’s yours?’’

what seemed like an innocent question sounded very threatening and condescending to everyone else.

he squints before answering. ‘’my name’s ty. yours?’’ he asks rather teasingly. will is so lost, because ty is looking at mike like he’s an open book, and he knows the chapters like the back of his hand.

‘’mike. mike wheeler.’’ he extends his arm for a handshake. ty reaches out to accept it but once he reached a glimpse of contact, mike pulls back immediately as if he was burnt. ty doesnt seem too bothered though. if anything, he feels like he was expecting that. ‘’ahhh.. so you’re mike.’’ ty says with one side of his lips curving upward.

will felt the tension rise. he did not like it.

mike clears his throat. ‘’will, we need to go. curfew, remember?’’

‘’since when did you care about curfew?’’ will smirks.

‘’i don’t,’’ mike rolls his eyes. ‘’honestly, i just wanna go home.’’

‘’okay, okay.’’ will obliges. he takes one last look at ty, who was giving the two a knowing look as they walk away. again, weird. what the hell does ty know about them after a 10 minute conversation?

he then turns back to mike whose back was more slumped than usual, walking a little faster than will. will jogs up to catch up to him.

‘’so, how was your shift?’’ will asks awkwardly.

‘’it was fine.’’

‘’..mike, did something happen? because you seem a little…’’

‘’im fine, will.’’

‘’..okay.’’

the atmosphere was very tense now, and will didnt want to escalate it further than it has. he knew mike was already drifted away, and he did not want to make it more complicated. he got the message, theyre not that close anymore. done.

but mike suddenly stops in his steps, which makes will do the same. ‘’mike?’’

‘’will.. did you.. draw him?’’

will has been turning red a lot today lately. ‘’w-what?’’

‘’that.. guy. did you draw him?’’

‘’i.. did. did you see that?’’ will yells at himself, beating himself up internally for drawing in public, for putting his heart out on his sleeve. curse one cute guy for making him submit. he feels mike walk closer to him. his heart beats rapidly. this was it. he was mentally preparing for mike to hate him, tell him he’s disgusting, and that he never wants to see him again.

‘’do you draw me?’’

‘’what?’’

‘’i know you draw me with the rest of the party, with.. dnd stuff but..’’ now it was mike’s turn to fumble in his words and mannerisms, and will has no fucking idea on why, but by god was it adorable to watch.

‘’i just wanna know if you drew me too. like, just me. portraits, you call it?’’

after what you told me? something tells me its.. not over between you two.

it was that one recalling of a conversation that made will feel a little bit bold that day. ‘’..yeah. lots of times, actually.’’ will looks down with a shy smile on his face.

‘’good.’’ mike whispers.

‘’huh?’’

‘’fuck. nothing. um…okay. cool.’’

‘’yeah.. cool.’’

…

‘’will you be drawing him more than..me?’’

will cannot believe what he’s hearing right now. did the universe just decide to fuck with him today? is he getting targeted right now? a sick, cruel joke?

will doesn’t think so, because all he sees right now is mike. the mike he misses. the mike who talks to him all gently, who’s himself. nervous, wreck of a human being mike wheeler. mike wheeler, the love of his life. forever the subject of his paintings.

will looks up at mike, and their eyes lock.

‘’not possible.’’

#byler #writing #fuck this was LONG #i got carried away. anyway enjoy

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2dieavirgin · 7 months

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how do you manage to stay so inspired to draw the same character a million times in a million different ways..... if i cant get it right first go i always just give up on them and they end up just smashing around my brain forever with no outlet :(

autism. no im just kidding (im not) but if i dont do it who else will!!!! thats my carrot on a stick. i HAVE to draw chase as mary magdalene because nobody else is crazy enough to do it for me. and its also fun to see how the interpretation of the character changes! my first chase drawings on paper look. honestly very little like chase. but thats half the fun of it! seeing how it slowly improves, or maybe it doesnt look like him at all the longer i draw him but it looks like how i feel he should look. if that makes sense. i dont think my chase drawings look like jesse spencer half of the time, but as long as i can kinda convey what i was going for im like hell yeah!

its soooo easy and normal to get frustrated with art, especially when something just Wont come out right. but, to me, the important thing is that you don't let that stop you from creating! art is about the process too, not just the result! you don't like how it came out the first time? that's fine! try again later, maybe on a different medium, or at a different place, or with a different reference, and you would not believe how much that helps. there's been times where i thought i'd be art blocked for LIFE and all i had to do was just.. maybe draw on my living room instead of drawing on my bed, or use colored pencils instead of pens. you know just keep the creative water flowing so you dont cultivate a swamp in your brain.

i think i got mega sidetracked but that's basically it.t o be fair tho it is mostly the autism that just makes me so attached to characters . chase isn't the first, or last time that this has happened. i'm just a big fan of putting guys in situations

#ask #SORRY if this is so long i didnt mean to ramble but the clicky clacky on my keyboard makes me wanna type foreverrr #emi rambles

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autisticempathydaemon · 1 month

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for the matchups, please? this is very long oops :^)

What song are you fixated on at the moment? What lyric or verse, and why?

magnolia by laufey!!! love the first verse, specifically, "stars in her eyes, handpicked from the skies." i just think it's very pretty :))

What is your Enneagram type?

type 4w5 (looking at the other submissions this is very popular?!)

Do you love gargantuan Youtube video essays, and if so, which is your favorite and why?

the youtuber strange æons has this video where she does a deep dive on an old harry potter fanfiction writer called ms.scribe, i think it's really fascinating stuff!

Tell me about your childhood imaginary friend.

i don't know if this technically counts as an imaginary friend? there was this one time i found a little praying mantis and gave him a whole backstory (he was a legendary samurai!!) and pretended to sword fight with him. i think about that often

What is your go-to way to fall asleep?

get snuggled up in bed and consume content til i pass out wwww

If you had to change your name, what would it be, and why? (In tandem, if you have changed your name, why did you pick that one?)

i named myself after my favorite artist :))

What is your favorite of Redacted’s audios, and why?

caelums first audio! it was the first redacted audio i listened to ever and im very attached to it just for that

What Redacted boy holds no appeal to you, and why? Like, not the one you hate but the one who you don’t get the hype for. (I won’t judge, I promise.)

james! not really into him, he doesn't stand out to me

Tell me about that one book/movie/tv show you know all the words to.

bee and puppycat! i can even mimick puppycats voice hehe (if you haven't seen it, puppycat makes mechanical beep sounds, sorta like animal crossing noises instead of talking) i just find the concept of it charming, a girl who feels isolated from everyone else finding a magical little pet that takes her on grand adventures. the subtleness of its commentary i find really appealing. also if we're just talking about aesthetics it's all soft colors and stars, very pretty and very my thing.

Which Redacted boy are you platonically attracted to? Like- forget dating, which dude do you want to be your best friend?

asher!! he's funny and energetic but also very relatable to me, which are qualities I like in a friend :))

Do you have a go-to thing you ramble about when you’re tired, and if so, what is it? (For example, my boyfriend knows I’m ready to sleep when I start talking about space.)

i basically turn into a pokedex during my late night phone calls with my friends. if the conversation goes out, i'll start speaking about random pokemon facts (it's the special interest talking..)

Tell me your go-to gas station and drink combo.

gas stations and convenience stores are separated where i live xD i like to get a strawberry smoothie from 7-eleven, but tbh i mainly do it because i just think the machine is cool...

What’s your guilty pleasure media, and why?

dating sims! i just like feeling included :,)

And whatever else you think tells me about who you are!

im a drawing artist mostly, but i dabble in a ton of other creative/artistic hobbies, and im in a band :^) also, i have hyperphantasia. that's pretty cool

A Free Spirit, a creative, and artist with a love of the stars- who else could you be but Elliott’s Sunshine, his brightest star?

I love pairing our favorite Dreamwalker with artists; it’s just an irrefutable match, you know? With your hyperphantasia, I bet he’d love to be a guest in your dreams, to firsthand see what you see and bring into the world through art. Elliott is just such a sweetpea, the most fun and supportive boyfriend you could imagine. As someone who works in art/architecture himself, he gets you. He understands creative blocks, the frustration and excitement of trying out a new concept or medium, the desire to not rest until you have made something, a desire he’d make sure to nip in the bud when necessary.

Speaking of your art, he is your biggest fanboy, because Elliott highkey has fanboy energy, don’t you think? He’s picking you up from practice, he’s attending every gig, he hyping you up every chance he gets. He’d also use his magic to give you the most exciting gifts. Think the dragon flashback audio but for you. He could put you in the world of Bee and Puppycat! He could make you a dream dating sim where all the romanceable npcs are him in different hats.

Song:

Pull it out of park, put it in drive/ I can feel your heart beatin' with mine/ Underneath the stars lookin' for a sign/ Glowing in the dark 'til the sun shines/ Made it pretty far on the first try/ Might've set the bar a little too high/ Started with a spark, now we're on fire/ Started with a spark

I had to give you a fun song with star motifs, I couldn’t help it~ This is also a fun, sweet song with chill, lowkey make out vibes. Elliott also totally strikes me as a The Neighborhood, Sweater Weather fan.

Runner-ups:

Vincent is a really fun runner-up because he would be such a good groupie; like, can’t you imagine him front and center of any of your performances, saying “you were great, Lovely, I bought you a brand new guitar.” Anton is another fun runner-up because he’s so technically-inclined, so I think an artist would contrast him beautifully.

note: thank you for your entry~!

Read this post and send me an ask if you’d like a match-up of your own! 💌

#redactedasmr #redactedverse #redacted asmr #redactedaudio #redacted audio #redacted #busybee matches

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j0kers-light · 8 months

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An Open Letter

To Anon:

You just don't know how much I appreciate you. You understand that I am human and make mistakes lots of mistakes but you continue to pour your love and support into this hobby of mine, simply because you want to.

You understand this is all for funs and giggles and never hold things over my head when I'm lazy or take too long to update or get frustrated and fall into a writer's block.

You know I like naps and understand I do not have a solid posting schedule and that I fail to delete that unnecessary comma or misspell words frequently. You look past all of that and see a masterpiece.

Even when things don't make sense or when I drop another cliffhanger with no explanations of where this story is going, you are there. You like my work, leave a comment, or share it with your friends in secret. You support me just by acknowledging my work. I cannot thank you enough.

You are my best friend, my beloved stranger,--- DO NOT THINK IM IGNORING YOU! I read every interaction and every comment I receive and giggle uncontrollably, clutching my phone. "They actually liked it!! I have to do better next time!" Thus why I take so long to edit because I want my final product to be perfect just for you.

You are never a bother and yes I mean it. Flood my asks with all the requests because let me tell you a secret. 🤭

This blog, where I write about a silly little fictional character, is my only form of entertainment. I literally do nothing else. I love filling oneshot requests, head canons, and drabbles. I love interacting with others and sharing my creative mind. I look forward to fulfilling every one of your requests and ideas because its what I look forward to at the end of the day. They will get posted, just give me some time.

Yes, I am human and I need to sleep and eat (and unfortunately work) but know this. I will always reply. I will never stop writing! Hehe, I already had hand surgery and posted chapters mid recovery. I'll do it again too because I love to write. And read..

Anyways. I love you anon! --Don't mind me I woke up from a nap mad emotional and started typing -- 🖤✨

#to anon #thanks anon!#personal ramblings #i'm so emotional #for no reason #chaos is hard at work getting the next chapter finished

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fayes-fics · 2 days

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HI FAYYYYEEE! (don’t mind me im high on the s3 trailer)

two questions for you:

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE S3 TRAILER OMGGGG

how do you get inspiration to keep writing and get through writers block? bc i have a fic rn that i was rly excited abt, but they creativity well is just drying up and i don’t know how to combat that.

OK THAT IS ALL HAVE A FANTABULOUS DAY!!

Hi lovely!! 🫶

So glad you are still riding a high from the trailer! 😁Okay let’s dive in!

1) Not sure I have much more to say than I did HERE. Basically still neutral on Colin, loved the A & B head tilt, glad for Kanthony, wish there was more Benedict. What about you?

2) Tbh this is a sign you are a writer 🫶 The creative process can be frustrating. I often suffer from huge bouts of block and yes it’s annoying. As much as I’d love to write, and indeed feel guilty I cannot, you just have to walk away and try another time. Don’t force it, you’ll likely dislike what you produce. I turn to comfort shows to pull me out of my funk. But trust me the creativity will come to you again 🫶 I hope you enjoy when it does. When it’s flowing, there’s nothing like the feeling of getting lost in telling a story, regardless of genre.

Thank you for your ask lovely 😁🧡🧡

#faye answers #ama night

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providnce · 1 year

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hii!! i consider myself a independent catb fan since i got into then in 2019 and i obsessed over the songs and lyrics and stuff but never actually got to the fandom? like never knew the fan side of things just the surface level (i was the obsessed and totally into the fandom from another group so i stayed at my comfort zone haha)

with that being said!! im here to ask you kindly if you could tell what happened between them? like what the fans knows with details because i only know the facts about the show being canceled, bob, benji and bondy left and they unfollowed/blocked van but since i was looking around those days i've seen memes and stuff and a few things i missed out and i wanted to understand :(( if its too much to ask like too much work for you its okay!! but i think it would help other people who feel a little lost about everything as well :)

thank you in advance!

hello lovely, and welcome, we're glad to have you here! might i ask which band you were obsessed with instead? and i can definitely understand, i was actually the same way before i actually got involved in the fandom over the summer. c:

and yeah, I can give a quick rundown! i don’t think there’s an official post detailing what went on since lockdown, so here we have:

A (brief) Summary of CaTB’s Decline

Silence from the band once the pandemic hit. Lack of communication ever since has gotten fans quite frustrated, and remains so today. Since March 2020.

A fan noticed that Bondy, Bob, and Benji resigned on Companies House, which made the fandom wonder if the band had split. March 2021.

Catfish play Reading + Leeds Festival, collectively relieving everyone that they were there. August 2021.

However, Bob announces his departure a month after R+L on Instagram. He’s been working on his own music ever since. September 2021.

Bondy’s friend releases the Hide and Speak podcast, with him as a guest. More speculation on him leaving the band as he’d exclusively used past tense when speaking about his time in Catfish, along with a few statements he made towards the end that people interpreted as slating Van. December 2021.

Unfollowing commences. The fandom freaks out upon seeing Van’s following count go down, thinking he’s been active on IG. Chaos. Turns out, it was simply Catfish’s ex-tour manager Steve removing him as a follower. Later on, Bondy seems to unfollow Van and Larry, with rumours that he’s even gone as far as blocking both of them. Odd since Van hadn’t been on IG since 2017. Start of 2022.

^ As of today, Van follows Benji and Larry. Benji follows Van and Larry. Bondy only follows Bob. Bob only follows Bondy. Larry follows nobody.

Bondy got drunk on Tom Ungerer’s (bassist for Sam Fender) IG live, where he says he’s not fond of Van. When asked if Catfish were splitting up, he laughed, looked away, and said “I have no fucking idea, it’s got nothing to do with me.” Bondy also stated he’s working on new music, “trying to make music fun again, last time I was in Catfish and the Bottlemen, I was never allowed to make my own music.” With this live, Bondy had essentially confirmed he and Van have fallen out, and his creative freedom was limited when he was in the band. February 2022.

Larry logs onto social media for the first time in literal ages to unfollow everyone, and remove all his content. February 2022.

Catfish were supposed to open for Stereophonics in Cardiff in mid-June, but they pulled out two weeks prior due to unforeseen circumstances. June 2022.

More silence. Then, Bondy made his statement, confirming he officially left the band back in March 2021 and hasn’t had any affiliation with the band since, due to “reoccurring intolerable behaviour” within the band. This means he had stepped in as a session musician in the last 4 summer shows that Catfish had played. He also described relationships in the band as dysfunctional. Fans have taken this to be at the cause of Van, though there isn’t much clarification on whether this is true or not. Bob then came back on IG and blocked Van and Benji. June 2022.

Dave Sardy (producer for The Ride) posts photos in the studio, teasing possible new music from Van/Catfish by putting the Catfish hashtag in captions on IG. The fandom collectively exploded, again, and so we do every time he makes a post with Catfish in the caption. And every time he likes a comment asking for new music from Van. Since June 2022.

Now, to the present. Van’s disappeared off the face of the earth, the last time we saw him was 400+ days ago when Catfish played Neighbourhood Weekender 2021. Benji recently got engaged. We have snippets of Bondy and Bob (now Rob) working on new music.

in conclusion: rip catb lmfao

who knows wtf is happening with the band 😭

if i missed anything or got something wrong, feel free to add on! i have the memory of a goldfish, so thank you @icouldntfindquiet and @catb-fics for helping me put this together!

#van mccann #catb #johnny bond #bondy #benji blakeway #bob hall #asks 💌#thlasthours #bookmark

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