#BUT THATS JUST JUNIOR HIGH FOR U

[mazeyphaedra]

HELIO CHOSE HER, BUT SHE CHOSE CASSANDRA.

Traci Brimall, Vive, Vive // Mitski, Goodbye My Danish Sweetheart // Unknown // Katie Maria, God is made of hunger and I am made of dreams // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Sophomore Year // Caravaggio, Judith Beheading Holofernes // @inkskinned, When I’m sad, I write goodbye letters to the people I care about. Once I’ve said goodbye to everyone, I can go. // Ally Beardsley, Fantasy High: Junior Year // Florence & The Machine, Girls Against God // Hozier & Allison Russell, Wildflower and Barley

#ally beardsley you are so special to me #you and your choices #sunny twindenial has already made the most RICH compelling relevant beautiful webweave ive EVER seen and it was abt kristen n cassandra #could never compare would never try #this is just factoring the helio of it all. and intention and choice. because i do think she’s been trying #not as hard as she could be but still!!!!!! she NEVER GRAPPLED WITH THE PARTS OF [helioic religion] THAT FUCKING WORKED FOR HER!!!!!!!!! #sick and twisted that ur exes dont immediately forget about you as soon as you break up. like thats not for you anymore!!!!! #ive lost the plot. thats trackerbees impact for u #ANW i like being able to move my web strands around the post on mobile & i dislike when i cant . so thats why the layout is flat and boring #fantasy high junior year #fhjy #fhsy #fh #fantasy high junior year spoilers #fhjy spoilers #dimension 20 #d20 #helio #cassandra #kristen applebees #kristen #ww #uh oh! #spideryna #one day i will run out of silken strands with which to weave #this is not that day

[doodlebloo]

Are you ever so excited for something that you feel faint. That's me w Fantasy High Junior Year

#im seeing all the content Dropout is posting about it and god i could sob i missed them so fucking bad. #fantasy high was my fandom just before i got into the dsmp and ive been so so patiently wauting for junior year since sophomore year ended #for those not in the loop thats four full years ive been praying it would come back. amidst rumors it never would #every time i wrap my brain around the bad kids actually returning i start trembling. #ok sorry for rambling love u all xoxo #doodle.txt

[guideaus]

i can usually tolerate coming of age shoujo/shounen, esp when its got a nice optimistic vibe to it, but usually when it gets to the future/college stuff i lose interest

#personal #esp when its related to romance #somehow in the manga they all wanna leave and never together so i cant find myself to empathize at all or anything #they wanna go to school far away and i think 'well thats over! anyways.' #high school to me was just not serious. i never dated and took on a pessimistic pov from my mom that the things that happened then didnt #matter and u shouldnt be dating or anything (so if u do it wont matter) and idk they feel so young #and ig me personally not having a concrete path rn and definitely having not imagined one as a junior in hs #i dont even get the point of mentioning the future in the comic if u wont show it. most of those stories end when they graduate i think #knt isnt that deep tho. i might think abt dropping it if the rest is this. but also sunk cost fallacy is kicking in. im on ch 81 of 123 #hmmmmmmmmmm

[roseband]

whelp.....EDS is on my medical chart now *barfs*

#personal #im calling mild bs on some of the ppl online saying diagnosis was the hardest thing ever to get cuz this is w/ my medicaid doctor LMAO #HAHAHAHAAAA oh my god remember last year when i was shitting on simon martina fans who were claiming 'caregiver fatigue' for simon #during the divorce and i was like... dude martinas got similar disability presentation to me hes not her caregiver lolol #OOPS i guess its *same* disability presentation #its cause the rheum autoimmune factors all came back negative other than one that can also be associated with hashimotos :/ #ALSO its noted that there's definitely some sort of cardiac involvement so thats just FUCKING GREAT amazing #if i ever run into the doctor who said me fainting in high school was cause of me being underweight ill KILL HIM im gonna kill him #cause he was the same doctor signing off my 504 forms in junior high so DIE???? #also if i run into Michaels ex gf who tried to use me fainting and having to be picked up to get a gaggle of devilish incel girls #to say i had thin privilege from ANOREXIA ill punch her im gonna fucking punch her #i already tried to stab one of them when i ran into her in the street cuz that was the 'interracial couples are grooooosss' girl...so #ill just fucking STAB any of them #i dont wanna end up on a med i cant eat grapefruit on lol :/ all the heart meds prevent u from grapefruit :(((( #like actually @ my high school doctor tho wtf..... like i know id only had one joint dislocation at that point and it was an actual #*traumatic...ish* injury (fell on thumb in capoeira class lol.. thumb popped out) #but also he was signing off on my school disability forms and knew i was fainting so ???? BROOOOO #then again he was a twatwaffle about my moms medical retirement after booby #we stopped seeing him like after he said i was a 'strong young lady' uh bro you'd signed off on like 5 years worth of school physio/ot #forms and then also hed also said that my moms reconstruction shouldnt give her aby more pain than his wifes boobjob #like wtf ..... she had a horrible time with her mastectomy and reconstruction and reduction cuz nothing healed normal #and she had a drain collapse and was in physio to get movement back in her arm for months ugh what a dumbass #but he retired two years later so i guess it was rlly him being a lazy fuck

[silent-wolf]

ranking the batfamily on whether i would be friends with them irl 😁: (ps this is all just a jokey joke so pls dont take this seriously 😇)

7. damian

guys im sorry

love the little demon but he would probably kill me for making ur mom jokes

hes got spunk if u consider it being mildly homicidal thoughts at every constant minute

probably the friend i would not consider going for lunch with cuz he’ll give me a dirty look for eating like a pig 

he would be a good tutor tho, my saving grace in calculus

but he would make me cry by the end of that session cuz i cant divide to save my life 💔 6. jason

he’s a fucking theatre kid

AND an english nerd, like pick a struggle man 😭

it might be residual high school eng trauma but i cant be friends with someone who genuinely likes english

honestly tho, i wouldn't mind hanging out with him outside of school

i just dont know what we would have in common to talk abt

gym classes with him has to be fun tho

he would probably kick my ass at every game, but thats besides the point 5. cass

shes scary asf, but shes hot so its okay

i would probably have a hallway crush on her

shes probably in the friend grp, but has other friends shes closer with

rlly fucking good at pe and doesnt hesitate to show off

probably skips a bunch of classes but no one says anything

would probably hang out more as a grp than one on one

the only person i would consider giving my house keys to 4. dick

the sweetest guy in the grp

i would assume he was just a nice guy at first but he is just rlly genuine 

would be the subject of ridicule because of his god awful fashion sense

is a senior but hides in the junior classes cuz girls always chase him around asking for his number

is the mom of the friend grp and always carries around protein bars, tissues, and basic first aid 

always does wellness checks and picks up on the first ring if u need anything. bless him <3

my emergency contact 3. duke

would be one of my closer friends

the perfect balance of obliviously unaware and stupidly concerned

i would ask him for hw answers only for him to text back with a question mark

he was the sacrificial lamb who was made to sit in the first row in class

ends up falling asleep and gets detention 😔 if anyone asks tho, its because he did smthin super scandalous and totally not school appropriate 👍

we became chem lab partners, but fucked up freshman level titrations so many times, that the teacher kicked us out

has the best packed lunches (thank u alfred)

i steal his lunch and he ends up eating shitty cafeteria food 👍 2. steph

MY LITERAL 4LYFER 🤞

her fashion sense>>. but dont be fooled, most days she throws on a ragged hoodie that way too soft to be legal

has a billionare on her side, but still steals MY mcdonalds fries

always carries around extra hair ties 

comes over so often that there is a steph size dent on my bed, where she would flop down

has the prettiest notes which are a life saver for last minute cramming

the friend you would go to experiment different makeup styles on 

my partner in crime for any tom-foolery 

would make me snort during class which sends us to detention 

tim

i would fucking hate him at first glance

but somehow we would bond through our shared trauma of high school calculus 

the type of friendship where u would go on spontaneous road trips a week before finals, only to end up stranded in a random petrol bunk

a responsible adult (read: alfred) would then come to pick us up after we call them in literal tears

a weekly tradition of trying the most grotesque slushy concoctions 

cannot for the life of him memorise shakespeare, but can recite word for word every iconic vine in existence 

would tutor me in chemistry, only to end up in tears at my incompetence 😭

extremely introverted but suddenly becomes the loudest person ever when it comes to embarrassing someone

#there is just something abt batkids and school that can be so personal #jason todd #dick grayson #cassandra cain #damian wayne #duke thomas #tim drake #stephanie brown #black bat #batman #robin #red robin #batfam

[nippleplayer0]

PJSK BOYS x STONER READER

Cw : Basic weed stuff idk lolol :3

favoritism lol

No one really remembers when exactly you transferred to Kamiyama High. But just about everyone remembers how distinct you were.

You barely showed up to school, weren't necessarily in any groups, yet still- you made your way to the lives of many at Kamiyama.

You were certainly a character..! Every two classes you'd slip into the bathroom for a 'break.'

Even though you had a usually laid back personality, you were also the quickest to be up to some trouble.

Especially, for a certain someone..

AKITO

Id like you to take a look at his 1* and tell me he didnt fit the fent pen a bit too hard.

He is the #1 penjamin cartthalowmew loser 4 life

Yk when ur high at school n just made eye contact w another high person

thats you two ALL DAY

His battery died and you let him hit yours ?

Next day hes offering you some gummies

That's kinda how it starts

You're always kinda teasing eachother, but doing sweet things back n fourth to 'repay the favor.'

Without realizing it, you two were together like. All the time.

But for so goddamn long 😭😭 yall DENIED. EVERYTHING.

"Oh are you guys dating ?"

"Oh, no were ju"

"EWW NO WHAT THE FUCK"

💀💀

You two tried being friends for so long but it js wasnt right.

You guys eventually just got high and made out.

End of story got married had 2 kids.

TOUYA

Doesnt even know ur high lol.

Like he knows about it, hes not dumb, he's in highschool, and I also think akito smokes so. When you tell him, he doesn't rlly care.

I just mean he's more aloof, and wouldn't even rlly think about it.

Doesnt change that much though.

OMG YOU KNOW WHAT HE GETS YOU.

Those chocolate boxes w weed and crystals in them with chocolate

The best bf either way, supports u in anything.

As for him possibly smoking..

I think he might every once in a while.

During parties, or if it's just you two, he might smoke a lil. He likes the rebellious factor, but its not rlly for him, so he doesnt to it often.

Really giggly when high (+ drunk)

TSUKASA

I am a firm believer of Smoker Saki

Just trust me bro

So i feel like when he first heard you smoked, he lowkey locked in

Automatically more caring towards you, even if you don't smoke it for the same reasons as saki, he still takes care of you like you did.

It was a new feeling for him, wanting to make someone smile like this.

Likes just being around you.

You have an almost mystical aura to you, or, atleast that's what he says.

He's very eccentric, perfect for a sativa lover

As for him getting high ?

Indica does like nothing lmfaaoaoaoaoaoaooaaooaoa hes still super hyper and loud

Sativa though ??

Pretty fun

RUI

you know his ass is baked

all day everyday

mizuki and him have been smoke buds since junior high fr

loves smoking w u

before school

during school

after school

very adamant about getting his best ideas while fucked up

dates w him where you yap about whatevers on your mind while hes 8 blinkers in listening while making a 4 dimensional machine gun

#high while writing lolol #pjsk x reader #proseka x reader #akito x reader #tsukasa x reader #rui x reader #touya x reader

[honeytonedhottie]

how do you program yourself to still manifest something even when you think it isn’t possible? Due to laziness in high school i’m a junior who wants to attend a prestigious college but i’m afraid my stats will automatically set me up for failure. I’ve did the work to have amazing opportunities come to me about my career and allow me to network with people that i didn’t think i could do but in in the back of my mind there’s always that “what if?” telling me that i can’t do it.

ok so from my own experience the best way to reprogram ur mind to believe something that u categorize as "impossible" is to think of reasons why its NOT impossible. my favorite reason to use is "because i said so" whenever that doubt would pop up in my mind i'd just be like "um no thats false because i have x,y and z BECAUSE i said so". when u give a reason that combats the belief of it being impossible. also, repetition is key. make sure ur subconscious knows that NOTHING is impossible. the only thing thats impossible is u failing <3

#law of assumption #advice #reprogramyourmind

[did-you-fall-for-a-shooting-star]

ok so this ask is part invitation to ramble/infodump about chemistry stuff and part ask abt why u chose/enjoyed chemistry as ur major (pls idk what to do with my life lol. i like chemistry but idk if its enough to do it like as a career yknow?)

HELLO ANON YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU HAVE JUST ASKED FOR

Okay. For starters I actually didn’t go into college with the intent of being a chemist. My original major was secondary education with a focus in chemistry. Aka I wanted to teach high school chem. And that was because of my high school chem teacher, he was amazing and inspired me. I felt like I learned so much in his classes and I wanted to be like him and inspire others

Obviously thats not the route that ended up happening

Throughout my first few years, I got really involved in the chemistry clubs on my campus (ACS, GSE, etc). There was a lot of community in the chemistry department and thats where I made a lot of my friends too. I had people to study with and we helped each other, there wasnt a lot of competition. Once we got to o chem we were all just trying to survive lol.

Meanwhile, in the education department, over the years I grew more and more critical of it. It felt very cold and inhospitable. I barely knew my classmates. It felt more like a job in that it just kinda wore me down. And dont get me wrong! I LOVED my kids. I loved the actual teaching part. It was amazing. I made it all the way to student teaching because of my love for those kids. BUT. After covid hit. The education world got weird. It got too political. Its not about the kids anymore, its about doing whatever administration says. And I just couldnt take it.

A month before I would have graduated, I switched my major. Admittedly, it had been something I was thinking about since my junior year. I had taken analytical and environmental chemistry the same semester and really felt like I found my niche. (Please note here: there is no chemist who is good at all types of chemistry).

I ended up taking a 5th year to finish out a chemistry degree and get a math minor as well. I was really nervous about that decision, but that last year made me feel so much more sure of myself. I took a third analytical class, quantum mechanics, and inorganic chemistry (among other things like biochem). I learned I was *really* good at those things (unlike biochem Im lucky I passed that one). And now I have a job. Doing some instrumental work and data analysis

So I guess my decision to go into chem in the first place is just because the teacher who inspired me happened to be teaching me chemistry (though I was always a fan of science at heart)

As far as liking it enough to make it a career… well… I’ve discovered that I dont think I’m personally going to like anything for 40 hours a week for the rest of my life. And thats probably because Im out of an academic environment now, but yeah. My goal is to be able to have a chemistry job part time. Because full time just kinda makes me dread it. And Im lucky to have things in the works that might let that come to fruition in the next few years, butttttttt. Thats more of a critique on society as a whole than specifically chemistry

#IM SO SORRY THIS HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAFTS #screaming.to.the.gods #mail tag

[sunlightandsuffering]

I fell down a Reddit cesspit (Ik, I should know better 🙈) and now I’m convinced dudebros who ship EH are just living vicariously through it. Like they want to be the tall, dark, and handsome brooding bad boy who gets the petite Aryan angel waifu. They shit on Mikasa because she threatens their fantasy of being big strong men. Jokes on them, honestly. Yeah, Mikasa could kick Eren’s ass in her sleep but she’s also submissive and breedable. That’s why EMs have the best of both worlds.

reddit gets chaotic! u never know what ur gonna find, but i totally agree, like they just want to self project with the most basic bitch. thats why i get so upset and say they're just like the most stereotypical heterosexual couple they could come up with, like eren and historia have like no interaction at all throughout the story, like they're barely friends, she's just the unfortunate harbinger of his doom by making him see all that dark shit. Sometimes I write them interacting and even with Mikasa im like they fucking barely interact in canon 😂😂 she's just barely a part of the main squad. I'd say central characters extending to actual friends would be Sasha, connie, (reluctantly) Jean, Annie and like Reiner and them are pushing it and so is Ymir and Historia, like at that point they're forming their own cliques together !

Eren and Hisu is just such a ridiculous leap to make, even in fucking junior high ANNIE is Mikasa's god damn love rival, it's not even Historia, not even remotely, canonly there's never been the slihgtest bit of interest. Again even in junior high every one else is interested In Historia except Eren, Jean is drooling over her, so is Reiner as in manga, but like Eren does not even look her way?? the lack of fucks my boy gives is kind of iconic, he is LOYAL !

[kaokaobeans]

kaoru hakaze.

kaoru is like

let's start with how he was before okay in the beginning of ! era (his highschool days), he was this playboy

womanizer

manwh0re

the straightest man to ever straight

the hetero to end all heteros

idk BUT the reason being, he lost his mother prior to attending high school MY POOR BABY AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH sobs

and so he dates girls to feel even an ounce of that same love he received from his mother he really misses her… his solo song (feather heartache) is basically about his mom T_T 

,,yeah it’s literally mommy issues but this guy lost his mom early and like ;-;-; AND AND LLIKE even though he was like this in high school, he came to terms with his feelings of grief and emotional attachment to his mother and vowed to stop his ways when he graduated!! and i think just that development is so good, thank you enstars for redeeming my boy <3

he also has issues with his strict father :(( his father doesn’t approve of him becoming an idol he even feels guilty that his older siblings are the reason he can have so much freedom :(( which, he shouldn’t feel that because his dad is a MEANIE >:{

anyways, now in !! era, he’s trying his best to leave his “playboy” image and strengthen his relationship with his younger undead members (koga and adonis). he wants to become a better, more reliable person! and i really admire that i love him sm kaoru my beloved

aside from that, he’s always been a very friendly person and is easy to talk to. he can get along with anyone, even people like the eccentrics. although he seems carefree, he’s very hardworking and cares a lot about others, especially his juniors ;-;-;

he’s also really into marine life!! (inspired from his late mother who was a marine biologist ;-;) he also rly likes to surf :D and although he’s all that, he still seeks validation from others to this day. he still sometimes puts up a front and tries to look good in front of others, particularly anzu (mc). 

god, do NOT get me started on him and anzu. im gonna talk abt them anyways LMAO bc i just 

yes. 

kaoru currently has a crush on anzu, and it’s like he’s like the sweetest thing he can get easily flustered around her (see his intro in !! it’s so damn ADORABLE AAAAHHH) and it’s so cute because the tables have turned,,, he’s the one blushing like crazy now and like 🥺🥺🥺

and although he’s aware they can’t actually be together bc of idol work stuff, he still cares a lot for her LIKELIKE IN AQUARIUM STORY ANZU ACCIDENTALLY GETS DRENCHED FROM THE AQUARIUM SHOW AND KAORU TRIES TO CHEER HER UP AND MAKE HER FEEL BETTER AND LIKEEE ;-;-;

in the hospital visit story, he feels terrible that he can’t protect her, and that he isn’t a person that she can trust and listen to (he tells her not to overwork herself and like,,, ;-; anzu pls listen to him) and I WOULD LIKE TO BLAME HAPPYELE FOR ALWAYS MAKING ME SHOOT DOWN MY BOY I FEEL LIKE SHIT EVERYTIME I HATE U AAAAAAAAAAAAAAhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

anyways. kaoru hakaze.  born 👶 november 3rd 🍂 and ..... the student 🧑‍🎓 of uhh.......  🤔 yumenosakigakuen 🤓 highschool. 🏫  a senior🧓 student 🧑‍🎓 right there and blood 🩸 type is 🅱️ andddd .....class 📝  ........... class 📚  is 3-A ✨ ..... thats pretty 🧚 much it hehe 🤭 ...........thank u 🙇

i love him so much if ANYONE INSULTS MY LOML MY HUSBAND I WILL LITERALLY

DROWN THEM THROW THEM INTO THE SHREDDER TAKE THE SHREDS CRUSH THEM INTO A BALL HAMMER THE BALL INTO A FRISBEE THROW THE FRISBEE INTO THE TRASH CAN TAKE THE TRASH CAN TO THE GARBAGE DUMP THROW THE CAN INTO THE INCINERATOR WATCH IT ALL B U R N TAKE THE ASHES AND SHIP THEM INTO THE SUN AND THEN EXPLODE THE SUN. 

thank you so much for coming to my ted talk!! kaoru hakaze my absolute beloved. stream feather heartache!! <3

#kaoru hakaze #ensemble stars #can't believe i made this my first post help me #im going insane

[br1ghtestlight]

would like to hear objectsonas ramble :DD

tbh i posted that so i could trick my friends into private messaging me but since u asked nicely i will actually talk about them publicly :)

uhh jayden's parents met at a high school party when they were like sixteen and they went to the same high school beforehand (obviously) but never really talked very much. he was the product of a one night stand and when his mom told his dad about him a few weeks later he was like im not going to be a dad im sixteen!!!! and his parents basically offered to make this whole thing disappear and he moved schools and never talked to jayden's mom again (fair enough whatever he was a stupid kid) jayden is named after his father who was also named jayden (just jayden. not jayden junior or jayden the second bcuz he took his moms last name anyway) bcuz his mom wanted to honor that part of him

jayden's mom is like REALLY academically intelligent like a straight A+ student she's very smart and analytical even if she never got a chance to go to college or get a good job bcuz she had kids. he ended up getting a lot of that from her even tho he doesn't use it in the same way..... he is without a doubt the smartest of all my ocs and its not even close

his dad was also pretty smart but more socially intelligent. he was popular and very like uhhh he thought about BIG things like religion in the universe he questioned everything and talked back in class A LOT. he was incredibly manipulative and could easily get people wrapped around his finger and ask anything from them etc like very intelligent but he didnt try as hard in school bcuz he didn't care and he didn't like authority telling him what to do or demanding respect from him without earning it (all of these are traits that jayden also developed he's very similar to his dad but maybe a bit more responsible than him) i have absolutely no doubt that jayden's dad went on to develop a billion dollar business or he ended up running new york city or something bcuz he was just that inherently intelligent + powerful (for better or for worse)

i dont think jayden resents his dad for not being there bcuz honestly He doesnt think about his dad at all like he just doesn't exist in jayden's mind and he goes through life pretty much believing that his mom didnt know much about his dad either (whether or not thats actually true) jayden never once thought "why didnt he love me enough to stay" or "why didnt he reach out" bcuz he's just a very logical and intelligent person. but he also doesn't form connections with other people very easily so its probably true that he COULDN'T feel anything for his dad bcuz of that emotional dissociation. doesn't mean he doesnt make jokes about having an absent father occasionally bcuz he thinks its funny even if he doesnt care

jayden's dad (and mom obvs) did graduate high school but jayden never did. his mom very much pushed him to get a good education and good grades and get a high-paying job and be successful in life bcuz she always wanted the best for her son but jayden is just another type of person. he has such a complex perspective on the world and he is very smart BUT he inherently hates being controlled or being told what to do so school and work were never going to be for him. he'd rather be homeless and living on his own terms than rich but working a stuffy 9-5 job and following someone else's orders (which is fine but it does create a lot of problems for him with attachment to people/things) he got into a lot of fights with his mom bcuz of this and after he dropped out she basically told him to go back to school or he would be kicked out of the house and be left on his own with no support from her (she thought this would be enough to convince him to go back) and he took off and never looked back Which really she should've seen coming knowing jayden and knowing what his dad was like *shrugs*

#his dissociation and detachment from pretty much everything is the real problem in his life #bcuz its one thing to drop out of school but if you dont care about anyone or anything then why are you even alive in the first place #if you can never be hurt by anyone why are you even HERE #but fortunately he finds himself in a group of people he really has to be invested in for his own livelihood and he grows up a bit #definitely he is a love letter to a few different people ive known in my life #ask #object ocs

[nopefer-art-tu]

OH MY GOD I CANT BELIEVE I ALMOST MISSED POSTING ABT BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN'S ANNIVERSARY???? im gonna get mushy here so if yall wanna skip this go for it i wont hold it against you lol but this movie means a lot to me (if u cant tell) and id just kinda like to share a little bit abt why

I remember when I first saw Brokeback, I'd been either a junior or senior in high school, and I had watched it with my ex. I literally have no clue how we got to watching it or who proposed we watch it in the first place, but I remember that even back then I had been incredibly moved by the story.

Cut to 5-6 years later, and in January of this year I'd been in the midst of a really, super dark depression thanks to some health issues that I've been dealing w for awhile now. It made it so that on top of COVID, I wasn't rly getting out of the house for anything but school, and even then doing that took a really big toll on my anxiety. So basically, from the time that the 2021 winter semester had ended for me in early December, to when school started back up again for the spring in late January, I hadn't left the house at all.

In mid January, like a week before school started back up for me, I was scrolling through Hulu, bored out of my mind and also trying to find something to occupy my time and thoughts w bc I'd been going stir crazy, and I saw that Brokeback had been listed again. I kinda lingered on it because I remember phil (@/senditothemoonn) had watched it like a month or two before and she had started talking abt it in our group chat and posting quotes abt it and stuff, and it had been awhile since I'd seen it so I was like hey! What the hell! Lets give it a watch, its time I watch it again anyways.

And like. Something happened to the world for me after that viewing. It was like it had blown apart, and when it came back together it was completelty rearranged for me.

I'm not entirely sure why that time around the movie has such a deep, DEEP impact on me when I had seen it before, and had been very touched by it back then. I think its partly that a. I never used to watch movies with subtitles, and so before I realized that I probably have issues with the way my mind processes sound, a lot of movie dialogue just kinda. Didn't get internalized by me for some reason? Even now when I rewatch old faves that I haven't seen with subtitles, I'm always astounded by what the hell theyre saying because I had never rly picked up on it before, lol.

And like...I mean if you've seen the movie then you already know this, but their accents and dialect are kinda hard to get through. ESPECIALLY when it comes to Heath as Ennis. Which isn't in any way a jab at him, I think every part of his performance is super thoughtful and well-crafted and every acting choice he makes serves the character in only positive ways. But when you already have issues processing audio, and when you have a character who's jaw is perpetually cleched so tight that the words literally have to "fight" their way out of his mouth, its just like. Not the best combination lol.

And so this time around when I saw the movie, I saw it with subtitles and it opened up a new dimension of the film to me. Honest to God, the first time I watched the movie, I had no idea that the shirts at the end were so signifigant because Jack had stolen Ennis'. I guess the first time I saw it, I didn't catch the part where Ennis talks about having left his damn shirt up there, and Jack just kinda shrugs it off and changes the subject. When I saw that moment this time, it didn't really strike me as anything important until the movie got to the end and you realize that Jack had kept the shirts all those long 20 years and UGH. I literally remember screaming with tears in my eyes, thats what happened to the shirt! There they are! And then when I saw that Ennis had put his shirt over Jack's to hang together on his closet door for the rest of his life? Dead. Dead, I was literally stabbed in the heart 50 million times and killed dead. I'd never made those connections before and now that I had I like. got it, yanno? I got why this was an oscar winner, and why people were sk devastated by its best picture loss. Not that I hadn't before, but it just hit so much harder.

So yeah, the subtitles probably had a lot to do w why its stayed lingering in my mind for a long while, but I also think its because in a few ways it kind of spoke to me and made me think about my health issues and the self-imposed quarantine that I'd put myself through for the better part of a year at that point.

To me, the whole story is about regret, about not taking the chances we have while we have them and having to learn to live with knowledge of the things we didn't let ourselves do and the memories we didn't let ourselves make.

I hadn't seen a lot of my family for awhile at that point because I just didn't want to be out of my house, and its only been recently that I realized how much life I've missed out on living for a good year and a half-ish or so. And like yeah, I have a reason, my health issues and super aggressive anxiety have kinda put me through the ringer. But I dunno like. I kind of empathized and related to Ennis' character in a really odd way, because he also let his fear control what he did and especially what he did not do, and for that, he ended up living a half-life and missed his chance of getting to spend his time with the person he loved the most.

For me, the fear of regret is one of my biggest motivators in doing literally anything. I've realized I don't want to end up like Ennis, isolating myself from my loved ones and missing out on the chance for love and life because of some issues I have. And I mean its not like they're not real issues. Just like the fears that motivated Ennis' actions, theyre very real concerns. But since seeing the movie, I've been a lot more proactive about seeing doctors and trying to get this shit fixed up, because I don't want to end up wasting my life away. I wanna find my Jack, and I wanna be happy, and I wanna live.

Anyways. Happy 17th birthday to my favorite movie in the world <3

#brokeback mountain #still brokeback posting

[virtue-and-beneviolence]

(boring timeline shit yippee 👍) ok so w the band au i envision that its abt 6 years after 2005 so its set around 2011.

with that, takemichi's in his 2nd year of junior high in the first arc of tokyorev so in the au hez 20, which is the exact legal age of drinking in Japan. kisaki's one year younger than him which is kinda fitting cuz as the manager hez kantou's designated driver and the band's known for being party animals, and it wouldn't be very safe to have some drunken men driving around now would it? (even tho i do have to say what a sight that'd be) and speaking of kantou manji, mikey's like 21, sanzu's 20 turning 21, mucho's 24 and hanma and kokonoi are 22.

rokuhara tandai's ages are a bit messy but i'll try it out. so ran is like 22-23 and rindou's a few months to a year younger. shion, izana and mochi are the same age as mucho and i think south is around that age as well, and kakucho the baby is 20.

brahman; senju's 20, draken's 21, inui's 22 and waka, benkei, omi and shin are like 31.

and lastly with the side characters, yuzuha's 21, emma's 20 and akane's like 27-28 ish.

anyways im linking side jobs with the topic of age just so this ask can be a bit more exciting :p

a few of the roadie's take jobs from other bands to help out and get some easy money while the musicians ofc do a similar thing with solo gigs or group ones.

but with jobs outside of the music performing industry, takemichi still works at that cd shop but instead its more music based, wakasa and benkei have the equivalent of their gym with a music shop (they taught there during the transition/time period between black dragons to brahman.) and i feel like shin works at like a super market on the side? 😭 and ofc he forces all three of his

the haitanis, kakucho, mochi and izana are still trying to run that organisation from the good au with the help of mucho this time. hanma still does photography and kisaki tutors.

thatz mostly it for my current job brainrot, u can assign some more fitting jobs for them if u like

Oh my god these aren't crumbs anymore this rlly is a plate of cookies.

I am most compelled, in usual virtue style, with a tangential side story plot for hanma: so consider hanma and sanzu getting in a random person's car and that person is so taken aback that they get them back to the hotel safely. Okay thats it my whole idea. Lol.

Further I need hanma to have an instrumental side project with Koko and sanzu just for a little ep a gift for the fans v much akin to their mid concert jams while Mikey changes and chugs some tea.

Waka and benkei should own that music shop Michi works at instead of or in addition to a gym

Hanma has a secret aesthetic photography Instagram account that is relatively famous but has his name nowhere.

I'm so painfully biased I'm sorry I'll be better lmao

#buddyboo band au

[uno-writing]

ABSJDN SO ABOUT WHAT YOU SAID ON ZEKE BEING HOMOPHOBIC BUT THE INTERNALIZED KIND AND I HAVE THIS HC THAT I STILE FROM SOMEONE BUT IDK WHO THO SO I THINK THAT HIS DAD IS SUPER HOMOPHOBIC AND ZEKES GAY SO HIS FATJER NEVER LOVED HIM SO THATS WHY HE SUCKS UP TO PPL STRONG CUZ HE WANTS THAT VALIDATION HE NEVER GOT FROM HIS DAD 

anyway bertrum just realized that i don’t honk i’ve ever asked u for a writing request  maybe i’ll change to interactions anon sjdnsm

so schools being mean again just realized that i am that kid who was considered very smart in elementary but gets too used to everything being easy and then goes to middle/high school and just dies aajansmmsma

so i’ve decided that i will never make a comment or ask on this blog that does not have at least one use of 🔫

anyways bertrum gtg i’m gonna go bother my sister by screaming emo girl by mgk at her while she tries to study again byee

-chaos screech attack sister anon 

OMG THAT ZEKE HC IS GREAT

Lmaoooo interactions anon works

God I feel that school shit. I was fine until junior year and then I struggled with everything.

Hope you had fun bothering your sister!

#unordinary #unordinary zeke #unordinary headcanon #berriwords #chaosanon

[werebutch]

pls tell me abt scotch and atlas <3

OK so glad you asked i hope i can make this. Like. Understandable. THANK YOU so much for asking..<3

Scotch and atlas are inseparable. They’ve been best friends since they were 14ish, and even though atlas kinda hated him at first, he eventually found scotch’s obnoxiousness comforting + fun compared to his own silence. I relate to atlas a lot in this way lol. They were quite a duo in high school as class clown and off-putting loner. It’s junior or senior year when scotch tells atlas about his feelings for him. They’ve always been close, and lots of times mistaken for partners, but atlas doesnt know how to handle this confession. He largely ignores it, but not in a purposefully mean way.

During the stretch of time before atlas realizes his own feelings about scotch, he’s very protective over and sensitive to him. He drops anything for him, which actually got him in a lot of trouble in his actual relationships. Bros before hoes is what they both live by really… its a classic case of being SOOOO best friends you dont realize its a crush.

By the time atlas meets seraph (his official partner), he and scotch have become very comfortable in their relationship. They finally live like lovers. Very good ones. And seraph kinda…. Comes along and fucks it all up. This is probably the part that made u send this ask LMFAO <3. Atlas falls head over heels for them. He is obsessed for REAL they are like a dream to him. Classic (overused and cheesy..) dynamic of soft and rough. Red and blue. Innocence and corruption. Lamb of god and… i dont know. You know what i mean, i could go on. This is all going while scotch watches, very aware of all of it. He’s fine with it, really, its not like he and atlas are really dating. Atlas can do what he wants, he’s pretty sure he’s still his number one. WELL.

Until he’s not. Atlas had told seraph about scotch, that this is how it is and he cant choose them over him and vice versa. Seraph didnt like that. I dont want to make seraph out to be the bad guy, because they aren’t at all. I dont think they’re doing anything wrong by being upset atlas wants to keep his fwb+ thing going on with his buddy. I don’t think they’re a bad person for asking him to end that relationship. He doesn’t, of course, but atlas does tell scotch about it. Scotch is angry, but mostly scared. He kind of has a whole breakdown because as atlas gets more and more involved with seraph, he sees less and less of him. It really feels like its the end, and they will go back to being just friends with added …tension.

That’s not the end of the story but its all i have pretty much in stone. The rest keeps changing as the story grows LOL. Sorry if this is too long, i never know how to talk about my characters without giving the entire backstory. This is just the surface of it, there is a lot more things happening in between but i didnt want this to go on forever ehehe or be too confusing. I dont know whether im going to have them grow apart, have seraph slowly accept scotch, or have something horrible go down where seraph leaves/is left. Probably whatever is more dramatic and sad, but thats different depending on if youre rooting for seraph or scotch more lol. Anyways. TY FOR ASKING omfg iz soo long….

#i feel weird talking so much about my characters relationship drama but it really is intertwined with the story #there is no separating it from all the other stuff NOT romance related.. #character relationships are very important to me. #asks #litchkiing #ALSO. ALSO. i know that this is very cliche or cheesy or overdone but its really fun and i just do this bc its fun… #i dont need it to be revolutionary.. i like working with them. i really like that i get to have an edgy lone werewolf character who wears #red and black and plays bass in a stupid industrial metal band. ITS GREAT #<- genre is not in stone. it changes depending on my mood. #oc posting

[fxaa]

11, 12, 18, 19 🙆🏽

11. fav extracurricular

Well I'm not in school anymore so everything is extracurricular but if this means "in the past" then i did uh, theater for a few years in high school, and i had a lot of fun! I got to be the witch from into the woods junior year :)

12. What kind of day is it?

Work Day. Ik its Sunday but i had to get stuff done for a work project bc i procrastinated and it's pretty much done now yaaaaaay

18. What hair products do you use?

UMMM i use a shea moisture moisturizing shampoo, bondi boost "curl boss" conditioner, and i use smth called curlsmith in-shower style fixer for styling!! I'd absolutely recommend curlsmith to anyone with curls or really defined waves (i have 2c or 3a hair i think), its expensive but a bottle lasts forever bc u don't have to use much (may be biased bc i have short hair though). Sorry for going on a tangent about curlsmith i just love that product and think people should know about it

19. Would you paint my nails at a sleepover?

YES u have to paint mine though. Also i might do a bad job. But thats okay <33

#TYYYY!! #rmnu #ask