#BUT WHO CARES ABOUT THAT RIGHT?? WHO WANTS TO SEE tHE nOTE???

[missmugiwara]

A Secret

Summary: gn!reader x Luffy // What happens when you tell the captain a secret? Turns out, it makes him really happy! And he only wants more.

Warning: 18+, suggestive, very flirty, did I make Luffy a slight dom?

Note: I think one of my favorite things about writing for Luffy is that it's kind of hard. But he's my sweetie pie so I'm not complaining.

✦ Word count is 2.2k ✦

Luffy's strength was no secret.

Everyone knew that. It was also no secret that he always got stronger. Sometimes, it seemed like the Straw Hat Pirates were always moving from one adventure to the next, never taking a break. So how did Luffy have the time between fights to find new moves and new gears to try?

Maybe he didn't do it as much as Zoro, but there were instances where you caught the captain training. Sometimes it was on boring days like today where you happened to be parked at some random island for Franky to do routine maintenance to the Sunny.

Luffy's breath was heavy, mouth wide open to release hot pants. His red ruffle-sleeved shirt and yellow sash were chucked off to the side, bunched in a sloppy pile on the ground with his precious straw hat gingerly laid on top. His scarred chest heaved with each breath he took, muscles tensing deliciously. A thin layer of sweat covered his entire body, forming delicate beads of moisture to glisten in the sun. His hair splayed across his forehead and around his face in cute, damp waves from the moisture. It was certainly a sight to behold. The captain was positively mouthwatering, and only one thing crossed your mind at that moment.

You loved him so much.

It was always so hard to take your eyes off him. With feet crunching against the grass, you walked up some distance behind him and just silently admired. A tender smile etched its way onto your lips, and you sighed longingly at Luffy. He had one fist pulled back, while his other free hand - palm outstretched, thumb pointed downward - took aim at the air, and he punched. He repeated this move again and again, grunting and panting the entire time. As he continued with that focused, steady gaze in his eyes. As beads of sweat flew off his body.

He was so strong.

Did anyone ever tell him he looked so good?

A warm heat feathered over your cheeks, and your eyes perked up at the thought. And so, feeling rather bold, you snickered and took a step forward. You almost changed your mind. Then, using every ounce of courage, you merrily called after him.

"Luffy!"

The rubber man turned lazily to the call of his name. With an open-mouth releasing more pants, he tiredly smiled. And then his gaze grew more excited when he registered it was you of all people who called with such adoration. You, who was running toward him. You, who he could never get mad at. You, who lit up with joy every moment you saw him.

The sweetest face he had ever seen, and all his. Well, you were your own person - he didn't own you, and he knew that. But you were his. Somehow. His crewmate. His friend. His… something.

One day, he would gladly say the words: you're so much more to him. That much he knew, but what word could he use? Luffy always knew how to get right to the heart of things that needed saying most - but not today. Seeing your smile was enough, and there was way too much on his mind regarding everyone's safety in Wano.

"Do you wanna know a secret?" you grinned.

A secret? And just for his ears only? He already felt special enough with that smile you gave him. Nobody else ever got that smile.

You slowed to a stop when you collided into his back, pressing your chest to him. You didn't give him a chance to answer when you wrapped one arm around him, gently slapping your hand to his chest. The sweat upon him sticking you to him, and you did not care in the slightest how much it made your shirt wet. With the other free hand, you cupped it to his ear.

"Hey, did you know…" and you whispered into his ear, lips brushing against the shell of it as Luffy's eyes slowly widened.

The words were nearly lost in the breeze.

A red blush dusted over his cheeks, and his lips parted in response. Before he could turn and ask if you reeeally meant what you just said, you giggled and peeled yourself from him. You stepped back, hands clasped innocently behind your back and grinning so much that your eyes clamped shut.

"Huh? Really?" Luffy asked in disbelief.

"Oh, yes!" you nodded your head erratically.

Luffy still stared in shock, and you still smiled. There was a pause before the captain blinked at you, then smirked. He stood a bit taller and a bit prouder, puffing out his chest. He turned back but to a tree this time, taking his usual fighting stance. His fist flew back, and then forward as he launched it into the tree - completely breaking it in two as it fell to the ground with a loud thud. A few of your friends looked up in worry at the loud noise, then disregarded it once they realized it was just Luffy being Luffy. You beamed widely as ever, before giving a wave and returning to your spot next to Robin. She was seated underneath an umbrella and sipping tea.

She smiled and poured a cup for you. Trying not to come off as pyring, she asked, "What did you tell Luffy to put him in such a good mood?"

You grabbed the cup of tea and smiled profusely. She wouldn't dare tease you like the others if you answered honestly. Robin could be told things you could not tell others. And she knew you liked the captain very much so.

"I just told him… well, I said: hey, did you know that you're really sexy?"

Robin seemed surprised at the unexpectedly brazen comment. She was looking down at her cup, then her blue eyes immediately darted to meet yours. You said that to Luffy? A pause before she grinned.

"Oh? Is that so? I'm happy for you."

And Luffy seemed pretty happy about it too.

It was a major risk you took that day, but since then you were smitten even moreso because he responded in such a… pleasant way. So Luffy was the kind of person who understood sex appeal. It was settled then - you wanted to flirt more. You wanted to be more vocal about how you felt. To drop more hints, as ironic as it was because Luffy didn't need subtlety; he needed blunt words. However, the rising butterflies in your stomach told you that testing the waters was further needed. It was really just an excuse to cover up a rising bout of shyness.

It seemed he was not as naïve as his crewmates thought, and he truly understood this game. And really, how did anyone not notice how attractive he was? Zoro and Sanji got attention all the time, but what about the captain? The star of the crew? He was certainly charming in his own ways. And so this game of yours did not let up anytime soon.

"Who's that good-looking guy in the straw hat?"

You waved at him, calling out with a hand cupped to your mouth. Luffy, Zoro, and Sanji walked toward the ship after being in town to buy supplies. Each of them had sacks of food tied to their backs, and Luffy broke out into a huge ear-to-ear smile. He laughed, a blush ever-present at his face. Zoro rolled his eyes, and Sanji's smile faded when he realized - oh, you were speaking to the captain, not him.

"Me? Oh, stop!" and Luffy would blush and blush, identical to the way he blushed when any of his crewmates said he was strong or reliable. The sight was too cute not to eat up. At least he was getting it now, because the first time you said that Luffy whipped his head around. With squinted eyes, he kept asking who was this guy until you bursted out laughing. This was really funny because it was so cute and so like him to do that.

"What a man."

You would purr so lowly when he passed by, especially if he had just defended the weak and beat someone up - panting, sweaty, delicious as usual. Boy, was being in Wano such a treat. Luffy's ears would prick at the sound of your honeyed tone, and sometimes they turned red. He would quickly turn to meet your lidded gaze, your eyes wandering up and down his shirtless self - and the blush would return to his face. He would break out into a loud laugh after he processed the words you graced him with.

The flirting was fun, truly. Yet sometimes you wondered if anything more would happen after all the effort. It had to, right?

What were you even waiting for?

Such questions did not cross your mind at this particular moment though. As usual, Robin and you were passing the time once again while the Sunny sailed off to another adventure. The topic of conversation was another good book you both had read in your little two-person bookclub. Luffy walked by, a tiny smirk at his lips, as you and Robin laughed about something silly in the last chapter.

Luffy froze once he got past far enough. Something was off. Quickly, he whipped his head around to furrow his brows in frustration. He pointed his gaze at you… and pouted. A cute grumble escaped his lips, and with his fists balled to his sides and arms swaying, he tromped right over.

Between the fits of laughter and conversing, you didn't even hear Luffy's feet crunch in the grass behind you - picking up speed. And what really took you by surprise was when one of Luffy's rubbery hands suddenly grasped your jaw between his thumb and fingers, and he turned your face so you could see him. It went without saying that the laughter immediately stopped, and you and the archaelogist froze in place.

You blinked once. Luffy just held your face, not enough to hurt you because he would never, as you two locked gazes. His breath felt hot on your lips. In turn, your own breath was caught in your chest as your face ignited into flustered heat because - well, because he never held you like this and at such closeness too. Something must have been troubling him.

"What's… what's wrong, captain?"

Oh, you were right about something being wrong. Luffy cocked his head to the side in an attempt to deepen his focus. He was really studying your face, and it only got warmer the more he stared.

"You didn't say anything!" he whined.

Another blink or two from you, and Luffy's grip loosened on your face.

"Loofs, I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"You didn't say anything… you know - fun and nice. To me. Like you always do."

Another moment for you to process, and the lightbulb went off in your head. Ohhh! He wanted another - oh, yes. You almost wanted to laugh because apparently it was really that much of a habit by now.

How dare you forget to take care of your precious captain?

With face still in his hand, your eyes darted off to the side. For the third time, your cheeks went even hotter. And you didn't know why this bout of shyness ran over you all of a sudden. Perhaps it was because you were the one always catching him off guard, flustering him so deeply. Not the other way around. So you took a second to think, but you hadn't planned anything yet for that day. So in a small voice, you answered him quickly, truthfully, and without much thought.

"Hottie."

You nearly moaned under your breath. The blush dusting over his rubbery cheeks and the wide smile he bore was enough to let you know he was satisfied. Robin sat in awe (you two completely forgot she was still there) but then brought a hand to her mouth to stifle her giggle.

And Luffy grinned.

"Keep talking like that. I like it!"

Oh, the way he looked at you made your heart thrum in your chest. The way he held your face, making you lock eyes. Gently, he released your frazzled self. Your jaw dropped into a suprised, open-mouthed smile. Trying to ignore the fact that Luffy said he liked it, you diverted your attention to the first part of his somewhat confession.

"Oh, you think you can boss me around like that, huh?" You smirked, taking a playful tone to let him know you were joking.

Luffy was walking away, but he paused midstep. He turned his head to peek over his shoulder, his bright eyes staring directly into your soul. The wind blew to ruffle his jet black hair and the brim of his beloved straw hat before his eyes grew lidded.

"Of course! I'm the captain here. Besides… you looove doing what I say. You always do, and you never refuse."

With that, he walked off.

And there you sat, flustered to oblivion as you brought a hand to to cover your growing smile. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Robin wink.

#luffy x reader #luffy x you #luffy x y/n #one piece x reader #one piece x you #one piece x y/n #op fanfic #one piece fanfiction #monkey d luffy x reader #monkey d luffy x you #monkey d luffy x y/n #mugi writes

[ginnsbaker]

fic: if i bleed (you'll be the last to know) (8/?)

Part summary: Leigh heads off to Palm Springs with Danny, while you grapple with what to do about your feelings for her.

Pairing: Leigh Shaw x Fem!Reader, temporary Leigh x Danny | Word count for this part: 5.000+ | Warnings : Slight angst | Author's Note: No, I did not forget about Danny still not being honest with Leigh and R not tattling on Danny. Just let these loose ends dangle for a while. Anyway, enjoy! :)

Masterlist | Part I Part II | Part III | Part IV | Part V | Part VI | Part VII

-

The morning after you gave Leigh a puppy for her birthday, your phone is flooded with texts from her, filled with questions ranging from vaccine schedules to the best chew toys. She shares a story about how Rogue, their previous dog, had always been Matt’s, and how she often felt left out of his care. Now, with Logan, she feels a full sense of ownership and is eager to get everything right.

You still flinch slightly whenever she mentions her late husband. It’s as if she forgets that you and Matt had something significant too, as if you weren't once the secret he kept close. Sometimes, you wish you could just erase his presence, simplify everything about your relationship with Leigh. 

But you recognize that it’s selfish to wish him away, because Matt was a significant part of Leigh’s life, a major influence on who she has become. And who she is today is a lovely person—someone you've come to admire very deeply.

[6:20 AM] Leigh: Logan’s an angel, slept through the night.

[6:35 AM] Leigh: So, house training... how do I make sure Logan doesn’t turn my bed into his personal bathroom like he did five seconds ago?

You grimace at the message, picturing the hassle of laundering the sheets and possibly needing to call a cleaning service for the mattress.

[6:54 AM] Leigh: And shots? Rogue was all up to date because Matt was on it, but I’m clueless. Where do I start?

As you work your espresso machine, a grin spreads across your face, the kind that makes you feel like a complete fool but in the best possible way.

[6:56 AM] You: Good morning! You’re lucky I don’t bill for text consultations 😆

You typically charge $18 for a twenty-minute chat with a client.

[6:58 AM] Leigh: Oh. How much do I owe you? I want to pay.

Your smile falters a little at her missing your joke.

[6:58 AM] You: I was just kidding. Your texts are more than welcome, Leigh.

Feeling bold, you follow that up with something you've been wanting to make clear since last night.

[6:59 AM] You: This is what friends are for, right?

Waiting for Leigh’s reply feels like an eternity, and you're about to send another text to walk back your hint at friendship when your phone vibrates.

[7:00 AM] Leigh: I’d feel better paying. Can I drop by the clinic later?

Reading her message, you're hit with a rush—excited at the thought of seeing her, yet downhearted she's talking about paying, as if that's what's between you. But then, those little typing dots appear. You're practically holding your breath.

[7:00 AM] Leigh: We’re friends, which is why I’m paying.

It's a good thing you don't have a roommate, or else you'd never get away with grinning like an idiot at your phone. It's a bit ridiculous, you think, how high school this all feels—waiting for a glimpse, a moment, anything.

[7:01 AM] You: Absolutely, come by anytime. Looking forward to it 🙂

You hit send and lean back, trying to act like you didn't just have a mini celebration over a text. 

And then, spurred by Leigh texting you first thing in the morning, you decide to add her on your social media accounts. You spend an extra fifteen minutes getting ready that morning, simply because you lingered longer in the shower, listening to songs that remind you of Leigh and how this crush is dangerously close to becoming something uncontainable.

-

[10:13 AM] Notification: Leigh accepted your friend request.

-

As it turns out, Leigh is a serial texter. 

It’s odd, really. For someone who might come across as reclusive and somewhat untouchable, she is surprisingly talkative over text. The messages start coming in more frequently after this morning's exchange, just moments after you've finally left home to drive to your clinic. What's even more interesting is that this time, they're not about Logan.

And they’re all unusually random and unrelated to one another: memes that make you laugh out loud, articles on topics ranging from the philosophical implications of artificial intelligence to the best way to juicing recipes. You find yourself waiting for these messages, eager to see what tangent Leigh's mind has wandered off to now. You get into it, dissecting the articles she sends over with the seriousness of a scholar. You type back your thoughts, trying to sound as insightful as possible, maybe even a bit witty, hoping to impress her. You imagine this might be her way of initiating deeper, intellectual conversations between you two.

So, when you send back a paragraph or two analyzing the latest article she's shared, maybe touching on its impacts on modern society or offering a counterpoint to the author's thesis, Leigh's responses aren’t what you expect. Instead of engaging with the discussion, she sends a  simple thumbs-up emoji or, even more baffling, a random factoid about her day, like her opinion on the Kani salad from a sushi bar near the Beautiful Beast gym.

[12:15 PM] Leigh: [sent a photo] Just some store-bought crab sticks and diluted mayo. Don’t try it. Their saké though is 👌👌👌

You wonder why she’s having Japanese rice wine this early in the day.

[12:22 PM] You: Thanks for the heads up. I know a place for authentic Japanese food. You want to check it out with me some time?

Your text remains unseen for the rest of the afternoon.

-

You find yourself staring intently at the wall clock in your clinic, keenly aware of each minute slipping by, and with it, the dwindling chance of Leigh arriving before the doors lock for the day. As it nears 8 in the evening, Suzie is already wrapped up in her end-of-day tasks across the lobby. Leaning your cheek on your palm, you watch blankly as she meticulously arranges her desk, perfectly aligning each item, then moves on to gently pull the blinds closed on each window.

Suzie’s not blind. She throws you these knowing glances every time you let out one of your heavy sighs. Finally, after you've probably sighed loud enough to be heard next door, she stops what she's doing and plants herself in front of you.

“What’s going on?” she asks.

You try to look puzzled. “Nothing. Why?”

Suzie rolls her eyes. “Please, you’ve been mooning over that clock and sighing like you’re carrying the world on your shoulders. What’s up?”

You crack a smile, partly at her description, partly from being caught moping like a lovesick teenager. “It’s just… I thought maybe Leigh would come by. She said she would,” you say, wincing at yourself when the last part comes out a bit whiny. 

Without missing a beat, Suzie pivots from her closing duties and makes her way over to you. 

She’s not delicate with you this time. “You’re doing that thing again. Waiting around for something that’s probably not gonna happen. It’s not doing you any good.”

You know she's hitting the nail on the head, but it's tough to swallow.

Suzie continues, “You're young, you're attractive, and it's honestly weird that you're pining over your ex's ex. At first, I thought it was kind of adorable, in a bizarre, romantic-comedy kind of way. But now, it's like you're always hung up and disappointed.”

“Thanks for saying I’m young when I’m five years older than you,” you say with a sheepish smile, hiding your disappointment that she isn’t saying the things you want to hear, such as the possibility that Leigh just got busy.

Suzie shakes her head in disapproval. She's fed up, and her next words aren't going to be sugar-coated. “Snap out of it!” she barks, the command hitting you like a cold splash of water, and you jerk back in your chair, wide-eyed. Seeing you shrink back, quivering, she softens a bit and shifts back to the harmless receptionist you’re used to.

“Look at me, Y/N,” Suzie says, ensuring she has your full attention. You manage to meet her gaze, even though your eyelids feel heavy. “It's not fair to Leigh, either. You're giving meaning to everything she does—or doesn't do. It's putting her in an impossible situation. And honestly, it's not fair to you. You're missing out on your own life, waiting for someone who... well, who might never show up the way you want her to.”

Suzie knows she’s being tough, but sometimes love means being the friend who won’t let you settle for anything less than you deserve.

“I hear you, okay? It’s just… it’s the way I’m wired. I latch onto a person like a leech, refusing to let go until I see it through,” you mutter, shielding your face with your hands, a bit ashamed to even say it out loud. You get so tunnel-visioned, missing out on maybe better things and experiences because you're stuck on one track. You fall hard for your choices, never by chance.

“Good. You know what’s wrong with you,” Suzie says softly. 

You let out a weak chuckle, the sound tinged with a bit of self-mockery. You're half-hidden behind your hands, peeking out at Suzie as if she's got all the answers. Suzie pries your fingers away from your face and then pinches your cheek so hard, you start to whine a bit.

“Ow! What was that for?” you protest, rubbing your assaulted cheek.

“That's for being a pathetic little bitch.”

“Excuse me, I'm still the one signing your paychecks,” you shoot back, trying to sound offended but it’s hard to keep a straight face.

“Sure thing, boss,” she laughs, and you join in. 

“Okay, so what do you suggest I do then?” you ask as the last of your chuckles die down.

“Go on a date,” comes her swift response. “All that stuff they say about love finding you when you're not looking? Biggest lie ever.”

You look at her curiously, assessing her physical features. “W-With you?”

“Dude, no! Not with me!” Suzie exclaims, laughing nervously. “I mean, sure, I'd take you out if you weren't my boss, but I don't see that happening anytime soon unless you fire me.”

“Got it, got it,” you say, still chuckling. Suzie realizes too late that you were just teasing her and huffs. “Not with you. But seriously, go on a date? Just like that?”

“Yeah. Just meet someone.”

“You make it sound like it’s easy.”

“Because it is,” she says with a shrug. “Here. Give me your phone.”

-

Leigh doesn’t know what to do with the fact that you may or may not have feelings for her. 

So, she does what she does best: Pretend.

Leigh pretends you’re not EspressoEyes. In her mind, it could just be a coincidence, and you might not be the person who wrote to her advice column. Without any concrete evidence, she holds onto this notion, using it as a shield to fend off the uncertainties and doubts that would follow if she believed otherwise.

Leigh pretends because she needs your help to figure out how to care for Logan. Because maybe she wants to be friends. When you join her for a run, you don’t press for conversation, a rare companion who's not afraid of silence. Having you around feels like having Matt around, in a way that she's reminded of him when you talk about the same things you like, the same books you've read, and the same music you listen to. 

Leigh pretends it doesn’t bother her in case you are EspressoEyes. She’s no stranger to turning heads as she walks down the street, accustomed to the attention. There's a certain power in being desired, and Leigh revels in it. But the idea of you liking her doesn't quite make sense to her; it's like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole. It’s not because you’re a woman—she’s been with women before. What Leigh can't wrap her head around is that you, of all people, could actually be into her. After all, she hasn’t exactly been her most charming self since you two met. Even her best friend is keeping a cautious distance. She’s been wearing down the people closest to her, those who are supposed to like her the most.

And this bewilderment doesn't sit well with Leigh. She is someone who thrives on understanding, on knowing where she stands with people and why. So, when pretending isn’t enough, she does what she does second-best: Avoid.

She must have been waiting in her car outside your clinic for the better part of the evening, debating with herself about what to do next. She's parked just out of view, positioned so she can see the clinic entrance without being too conspicuous. She hasn't eaten dinner yet, her stomach growling, but she remains glued to her spot across from where she knows you're waiting for her.

Ever since you subtly asked her out through text, she’s been on edge, second-guessing her actions (texting and sharing posts on the internet with you all morning, what was she thinking?) and wondering what they might have meant to you. Leigh didn’t mean to leave you hanging—she did come to your clinic, sort of. She remembers typing out a response to you, something witty and non-committal, but her finger hovered over the ‘send’ button before pulling back. It felt like too much, too soon. She needed time to think, to figure out why the idea of checking out authentic Japanese food with you left her feeling so conflicted inside.

Leigh's guilt gnaws at her as she sits there, wrestling with how to extricate herself without causing further confusion—or worse, hurt. Eventually, it all comes to a head. She finally gives in, typing out a message to you on her phone with a shaky urgency.

[7:53 PM] Leigh: I'm so sorry, something came up. I can't make it to the clinic after all.

Your reply comes quickly, much to her astonishment, especially since she hadn't opened your message all afternoon.

[7:54 PM] You: It's fine, don't worry about it. I can have Logan's supplies delivered to your place if that works better for you.

Reading your text, Leigh bites her lip, another surge of guilt washing over her. Your kindness, your willingness to accommodate her, only complicates this predicament further.

[7:54 PM] Leigh: Yes, that would be great, thank you.

[7:54 PM] Leigh: How much do I owe you?

As she starts nibbling at her cuticle, Leigh is eager to resolve at least the financial aspect of her obligation. Though she knows she owes you so much more than just Logan’s supplies.

[7:56 PM] You: Like I said, it's on the house. But just this time ☺️

It’s still too generous. But Leigh knows better than to argue further, concerned that insisting might hurt your feelings.

[7:56 PM] Leigh: Thank you. I won’t forget this.

[7:57 PM] You: 😊😊😊

Leigh sighs, remembering her promise that you could visit Logan anytime. She hopes you won’t take her up on that offer too soon, at least not until she has a chance to sort herself out.

-

Danny isn’t too bad once you get to know him. That's what Leigh learns after more than two months of dating him. 

Initially, Leigh wasn't sure what to make of Danny. Their shared wit and sarcasm often put them at odds, like two alphas vying for the upper hand, each one not willing to back down, always aiming for the last word. Yet, in their calmer moments, when the competitive edge fades and they're just enjoying each other's company, Leigh finds something unexpectedly comforting about being with him. He has this confidence about himself that Matt never had, knowing exactly what he wants—and that's her. His straightforward approach makes everything about being with him feel predictable. And lately, she's starting to see predictability as a good thing, a sign of stability. This is a welcome change from the uncertainty that often left her anxious about the future. Plus, all these traits spill over into the bedroom, making the sex between them feel effortless and satisfying in a way she’s never experienced before.

Despite all this, there are days when Leigh finds herself merely tolerating Danny's affections. A part of her remains tightly locked, still bruised from losing Matt, and she's not sure if those doors should—or even can—open again. To compensate, she often says yes when she can, whenever her mood permits her to be giving and amenable.

And it is exactly why she says yes when Danny asks her to go to Palm Springs with him this weekend. 

-

The getaway feels like an extended lazy morning where the concept of time blurs into insignificance. They drift from one hotel restaurant to another, luxuriating in the art of doing absolutely nothing. This routine isn't new to them; it’s the same one they slip into whether they’re at Danny’s apartment or Leigh’s place—only now, the scenery is different, and the sheets they tangle in are expensively soft, boasting a thread count far beyond anything either of them owns at home. 

They're lounging by the pool, sipping Margaritas—Leigh with a book in hand and Danny absorbed in his phone—when your name comes up in conversation.

“So, how are things between you and Y/N?” Danny asks, not looking up from his phone.

Leigh stiffens slightly. She carefully moderates her tone, her face schooled into an expression of indifference as she marks her page and looks over at him. “What about me and Y/N?”

“I don't know... are you guys friends now?”

If Leigh weren’t so preoccupied with her own personal concerns about you, she might have recognized the underlying worry his question poses. What he's actually trying to figure out is whether you've come clean to Leigh about his role in Matt’s secret affair with you.

“Yeah, I guess we are,” she says. To say otherwise would be a lie, because you’ve been nothing but good to her. Danny seems satisfied with this answer, nodding before returning his attention to his phone.

“Why do you ask?”

“Just wondering,” he mumbles. He's back to mindless scrolling, but Leigh can sense the tension from two feet away. 

“No, tell me,” Leigh insists, placing her book on the side table between them with a definitive thud. Danny mirrors her actions, setting his phone face down and turning to her with a seriousness that clashes with their otherwise relaxed afternoon.

“I just don't get why you'd be friends with Matt's mistress,” he blurts out suddenly. 

Leigh is taken aback. They've never fully discussed what transpired between you and Matt, so she hadn't realized he was paying such close attention to her interactions with you. Believing that he wasn't privy to all the details, she quickly jumps to your defense.

“Y/N didn’t even know Matt was married to me,” she explains, trying to clarify the misunderstanding and protect your integrity.

“Yeah? And you just took her word for it?” Danny doesn’t bother to hide his skepticism, and it irks Leigh more than usual. She doesn't understand why every conversation with Danny has to turn into a challenge or an argument.

“There’s no evidence to suggest otherwise,” Leigh replies, her voice tightening as she struggles to keep her frustration in check. “I mean, I even went through your phone to see what Matt had been saying to you, and there was nothing there indicating that Y/N knew he was married.”

Danny feels a lump form in his throat. Fortunately for him, Matt hadn't mentioned anything in their texts about Danny being Nick either. He has been debating whether to disclose his role in everything to Leigh. But things between them have gotten serious, and Danny's not so sure he should come clean. Part of him wants to delay—perhaps until they are married with kids, when he's more certain that Leigh won't leave him over a past mistake.

“Look, I'm not saying don’t trust her, but... she used to be in love with Matt, right? You don't think there's a chance she resents you even a little?” 

Leigh stops for a second, Danny's words prompting her to consider aspects she hadn't really thought about before. Wrapped up in her own insecurities, jealousy, and pain when she discovered the truth about you, she had never stopped to consider your perspective—how you might have felt learning that the man you had feelings for was married. Did you feel just as fooled and stung as she did? The thought bounces around her head for a moment. From what she can recall, nothing in your behavior has ever suggested that you're a bitter ex. But then, what if you're just exceptionally good at masking your feelings?

Do you really like her, or is it all an act—a scheme?

But then, she remembers the night you gave her Logan, how your smile was nothing but warm, your eyes bright with something that, looking back, Leigh realizes might have been admiration. Not even Danny looks at her like that, whose gaze is always bridling yearning and a desire to possess. Leigh shakes her head, almost laughing at the thought of Danny being right about you.

“Danny, honestly,” Leigh finally says, trying to put an end to the discussion, “if what you're saying is true, I can handle it myself.” It seems the quickest way to close this topic, knowing that debating it could easily consume their entire afternoon and completely derail the purpose of their vacation.

“But doesn't it hurt, having her around? Like a reminder that Matt went for someone else?” He's playing on a different fear now, not questioning your integrity, but poking at the scars Leigh's tried so hard to heal. 

Leigh wants to admit the pain never went away. She’s merely learned to co-exist with it. It's like the weather for her: on some days, her mind is a landscape of clear skies, but when the storm hits, it's relentless. For now, she chooses to keep this pain private, unwilling to give anyone the leverage to use it against her or even attempt to fix her. It's her burden to bear, and hers alone.

“No,” Leigh answers, reaching for her book again. “I don’t see it that way anymore.”

- 

Leigh ends her nearly year-long social media hiatus by posting a series of photos from her Palm Springs vacation with Danny. Sharing such personal moments publicly is uncharacteristic for her, especially given her minimal online presence over the past months. Maybe it felt like sending a message to everyone that she’s doing okay. That they can go back to seeing her as just Leigh again—a single, actively dating woman in her early thirties—not as the young widow she was in her late twenties.

Danny's friends are the first to swarm the comments. They tag Danny, peppering the feed with teasing remarks, their comments ranging from jokes about the desert heat to compliments on the couple's sun-drenched physique. It's all typical, light-hearted friend banter, until one comment sharply disrupts the mood: 

“Yo, isn't that your brother's wife?”

Leigh deletes the comment within seconds of seeing it.

A few hours later, you ‘like’ her post. Leigh's eyes fix unblinkingly on the notification. She's been idly wondering if you'd seen the post, and now, you’ve confirmed it yourself. But what does that ‘like’ mean?

Is it a nod of approval, a silent indication that you're happy for her? Regardless of what it means, Leigh discovers she was sending another message—one that’s exclusively for you. It tells you that whether you're EspressoEyes, whether you harbor any feelings for her or not, it no longer matters.

She's with Danny now.

-

Returning from Palm Springs, Leigh feels different—like she’s turned a corner or something. She feels refreshed, and she wants to take on something, such as Drew’s grievances about her advice column. She picks one to start with, something about anniversary ideas, and she's got the perfect story for this.

It was one of those anniversaries with Matt, the kind that stands out from the rest of his surprises because it's so quintessentially him—albeit a little nerdy. He took her away from the city's glare to a secluded spot where the sky was a blanket of stars, untainted by artificial light. After laying out a rug for them to both settle on, he began the painstaking process of setting up a rather complex telescope. It took him nearly an hour, but the wait just made the moment even more special. With the telescope finally ready, Matt pulled out this old, crinkly constellation map and started hunting for one specific star. It was one of the last times Leigh remembered them being truly happy—deeply in love, free from the shadows of Matt’s depression, Leigh’s instinct to fix things, and the small lies that slowly eroded their relationship.

When he finally located it, he excitedly guided her to peer through the telescope. There it is—a tiny speck of light, but it's theirs. Matt turned to her with a bashful smile and revealed that he had 'bought' that star for her.

Leigh shares this story with her reader, emphasizing that it's about understanding what truly moves your partner. For her, it was that star—simple, unexpected, and insanely romantic. She tells her reader to find that one-of-a-kind thing, that personal touch that says “I love you” in a way that can only come from them. Just like Matt did with a star and a starry night.

It's only after she closes her laptop that Leigh realizes tears have been streaming down her face.

-

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”

It takes a moment to recognize who you've just bumped into. This encounter isn't as jarring as the last; it’s merely a brush of shoulders as you both maneuver to avoid incoming traffic. That ‘incoming traffic’ turns out to be none other than Leigh Shaw.

She's beaming up at you, and it looks genuine despite the sparse interactions since she last canceled on you. You’re still catching your breath, your heart racing from the speed of your run and something else entirely.

“At least I didn’t make you crash on the pavement this time. I'd say that’s significant progress,” you quip, drawing a soft laugh from Leigh. Last week, you made the firm decision to compartmentalize your feelings for Leigh, resolving to see her strictly as a friend. Yet, when faced with reality, such resolutions seem trivial, particularly when that reality includes Leigh smiling at you with her effortlessly charming grin—a smile that, despite your best efforts, still sends a familiar flutter through your stomach and makes your knees feel like they're made of something much less solid than bone.

“Speaking of progress, Logan’s due for his vaccines this week, right?” You remember the schedule clearly, not just because you’re good with dates, but because Logan has become somewhat of a shared responsibility between the two of you—or at least that’s how you still see it.

“Oh, right. I promise I'll swing by. No bailing this time,” she says, chuckling, but there’s a serious undertone that tells you she’s committed to making good on her word this time.

“You better not,” you tease, “Can’t have Logan missing his shots. He’s still very young, and it’s critical we build up his protection against—”

“I won’t, Doctor,” Leigh cuts in, giving you a playful salute that makes you blush. “So, where are you off to after this? I was actually about to grab some donuts for breakfast—”

Leigh pauses mid-sentence as a woman appears at your side. She’s stunning—slightly taller than Leigh, clad in a sports bra and tight yoga pants, with sneakers on her feet. An absolute goddess; even Leigh can’t resist a quick, appreciative glance.

“Who's this?” the woman asks with a British accent, adding the perfect touch to her 5-foot-7 frame.

“This is Leigh,” you introduce quickly, noting the surprise in Leigh's expression. “Leigh, this is Sara.”

“Lovely to meet you,” Sara says warmly, extending her hand. Leigh shakes it, though her movements are somewhat mechanical. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Oh?” Leigh’s smile is strained. “Nice to meet you, too.”

You quickly steer the topic back to Leigh's breakfast plan, asking where the donut place is. “It's just down that street,” Leigh points vaguely, but then stops short. Almost as an afterthought, she adds, “Actually, I just remembered I've got to pick up something from the laundromat.”

You frown, thrown by her sudden change of tune. “Are you sure? We could grab a bite after the run.”

“No, really, I should get going. Maybe next time!” Leigh replies hastily, already stepping back, her exit swift and decisive. As she hurries away, you're left there, watching her leave, trying to figure out what flipped her mood from happy to wanting to escape so quickly.

“Shall we?” Sara nudges you gently, already jogging in place. 

You give Sara a nod, but as you start running, you can't help but sneak one last look back. Leigh is quick to put distance between herself and the park. With a sigh, you turn your full attention back to Sara, who’s already picking up the pace, chatting about a new trail she wants to try next weekend.

“Let's go,” you mutter, mostly to yourself, as you push your legs to match her pace.

Meanwhile, Leigh walks briskly to a different restaurant, forsaking her initial craving for donuts. She can’t quite explain why she fabricated an errand; all she knows is that she needed to get away from you and Sara. Earlier, she couldn't help but notice how close Sara was standing to you, assessing you with a look that seemed a bit too interested. Leigh keeps turning over Sara's words in her mind, puzzling over what she meant by saying she'd heard a lot about her from you.

Why were you talking about her with Sara? Who exactly is Sara to you? Just a friend, or something more?

And what Leigh finds even more perplexing is why she's so troubled by needing to know the answers.

#unbetad #my writing #my fic #elizabeth olsen x reader #elizabeth olsen #leigh shaw x reader #leigh shaw x female reader #leigh shaw #sorry for your loss au #leigh shaw x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you #sorry i had to tag wanda x reader for visibility

[gglitch1dd]

Well... aren't you a pretty doll? Pt3

Army Soldier Midoriya Izuku x Secretary Reader

Context: After having spilt your drink on the man, you finally meet him for dancing.

Note: Set in the 1940s/1950s

[PART 2] [Well... aren't you a pretty doll- Masterlist]

“Isn’t he just grand, mother?” You asked as you washed the dishes, watching your Midoriya stand by the railing outside as he talked to your father. The two of them had been out there for a while and you weren’t exactly sure how it was going but considering your father hadn’t pulled out his shotgun yet, you assumed it was going just splendid.

Your mother chuckled as she took the cloth and started drying the newest dishes you had laid out. “Your father seems to have taken a liking to him. He seems really well spoken.”

“Oh he is.” You let out excited looking at her. “He’s so smart too! He speaks like one of those science professors on the TV. He’s so kind and gentle.” You sighed as you thought about him and how much he treated you like a lady. How he’d hold open the door for you, always accompany you back home, almost always refused to stay the night because he wanted to make sure he always had the right intentions.

Your mother looked at you with an amused knowing look before giggling. This was the third visit that Midoriya had to your parent’s house, it got better and better everytime. Although he had met your family on other occasions, a few times when you had dragged him to church on a Sunday. “How long have the two of you been courting again?”

You sighed. “A whole nine months so far, but I get so worried.” You settled your hands in the warm water with the sponge resting on one of the plates. “Especially when he’s sent somewhere, to another base or on a rotational. I get so worried, war changes men.”

Your mother hummed as she moved over beside you. She wrapped her arms around you with a gentle smile. “It does, but it also makes them all the more eager to get back to the things they care about the most.” Your mother placed her arms around you as she gave you a hug from behind. “Don’t worry dear.” She spoke softly. “With the way that man looks at you, I don’t think there is anything that will keep him away.”

You smiled at the observation she had. You trusted her wholeheartedly. You leaned back and gave her hand a squeeze before finishing off the dishes. It was starting to get late and you knew that it wasn’t advised to drive in the dark, but Midoriya did have friends in high places that seemed to let him do such.

Your father walked into the house first, moving to pick up the paper as he leaned back to read the paper on his recliner. Walking in after him was Midoriya, who closed the door behind him and walked over into the kitchen. He leaned against the doorway, hands in his pants pockets as he did so. “Ready to go doll?”

You nodded as you picked up your ration book and put it in your sling bag that you had brought with you. “I am.” You stood up and gave your mother a hug, placing a kiss on her cheek. “I’ll ring you later, mother.”

“Please do, and stay well. Remember to block out your windows at night.” She stated as she moved closer to watch the both of you head out. “Goodnight, Mr Midoriya.”

Midoriya nodded his head to your mother. “Goodnight, Mrs L/N. Have a good evening, and stay safe.”

You quickly moved over to your father, kissing his cheek. “Goodbye Daddy, I’ll see you soon.”

He looked up at you, and besides being the stoic man he was, he mustered up a smile just for you and kissed your cheek back, before lifting up the paper to focus on it. “Bye.” You giggled but let him be as you made your way over to Midoriya.

“Goodbye Mr L/N.” Midoriya waved to your father, who only gave him a grunt in return, making you giggle.

Midoriya moved to put his hand to the curve of your back, as he walked you both outside. You walked down the steps of your house. Midoriya moved to open your door for you, allowing you to step inside before heading inside the driver’s seat himself. With a turn of the keys, the engine came to life and the both of you head down the road heading back into town.

You smiled as you looked at your house in the rearview mirror before turning to look at Midoriya in the low light of the evening. The sky was dimming and was turning from a dark orange to a purple. His dark green hair had soft waves of his curls slipping out of the gel that was supposed to keep his hair neat and slicked back. A single curl fell on his forehead, making him look just dashing.

You adjusted your seating as you faced him. “What did you and daddy talk about?”

He glanced at you before chuckling. He pat your thigh gently. “Nothing to worry your little head about.”

“Nothing to worry my little head about?” You asked surprised at the statement. “Well if you’re talking to my father, I sure am worried.”

He laughed at your concern but found it endearing. He glanced over to you. “It was just guy talk, Y/N. Nothing bad, just a conversation between two men.”

“About?”

“The future.”

“What about the future?”

Izuku chuckled at all your questions as he moved to take your hand that was closest to him. He raised it to his mouth and kissed it gently making you ease. “Have I ever told you how much I love how inquisitive you are?”

You tried to fight a flush to your cheeks as you took your hand and looked out the window. “Don’t try and distract me, Izuku.”

His smile broadened to a grin at the way you said his given name. One that he treasured. “I promise you doll,” His eyes stayed forward, watching the road. “It was a good talk. A very good one and soon you’ll understand.” He told you. You hummed, deciding to trust him as you relaxed into your seat. He glanced over at you before smiling at your resting face. “Did you miss home?”

You nodded your head with a soft smile. “Always. But I mostly miss the familiarity of home. I’ve always wanted a house just like it.” You revealed to him with a smile. “The white railing, the washing line outside-”

“The three chickens for eggs in the morning.”

You looked at him with wide excited eyes, so glad he understood where you were getting to. He chuckled in amusement, nodding his head, showing his understanding. “It’s all I’ve ever wanted! And a kitchen too! A proper one that looks right out to the lawn. And neighbours to wave good morning to everyday.” You leaned back with a dreamy sigh. “Wouldn’t that just be a dream?”

Izuku looked at you, his expression eased. “It would… Hey doll, I’ll be a bit busy for the rest of this coming week.” He told you. “But I’ll see you Friday at your place. I promised I would take you somewhere nice.”

You smiled at the fact that he remembered his promise. “You did.”

“I did, and a promise is a promise. I just gotta get all my ducks in a row.” He informed you.

You nodded your head. “I understand. Don’t worry about me.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “You do whatever you have to do. I’ll be here.”

“Congratulations Midoriya. Your promotion is one you should be proud of.” Sargent Aizawa said as Midoriya stood in front of him in his office. He stood up straight and proper like a good soldier as his sargent looked over the papers in front of him. “You’ve worked hard for it and in a short amount of time too. You just keep on rising.”

And Midoriya knew you meant it. Which is why he was so sure about what he had planned.

“Thank you, Sarge.” He said with a gentle smile, knowing Aizawa wouldn’t mind his eased posture when they were alone.

Aizawa looked over the papers in front of him. He sighed, putting them down on his desk. “First Kirishima, then you, at this rate, I’ll have none of my soldiers in the barracks.” He let out with a shake of his head. “You’re moving out. Why?” He asked as he joined his hands together.

Midoriya seemed to visibly soften, which made Aizawa raise an eyebrow. “I have a woman, sir. She’s…” Midoriya couldn’t think of words just at the pure thought of you. His smile broadened as he looked down at the wooden floors. “She’s the most beautiful woman I have ever met in my life. She’s smart and funny, strong in her own way too. She’s so supportive of me. She has a smile that shines like the sun and I… I mean to marry her, Sarge. I’ve talked to her father and he’s given me permission. I just… I don’t wanna die knowing that she isn’t mine.”

Aizawa stared at the young man in front of him. “Wow, Midoriya. Here you almost have me blushing. She’s Enji’s secretary isn’t she? I’ve seen you two sneaking around the base like two high schoolers.” Midoriya’s face bloomed pink as he straightened up. Aizawa opened up a drawer pulling out his stamp. “A little word of advice, marry that girl as soon as yesterday, Midoriya. The war isn’t getting better.” Midoriya’s expression didn’t change. He knew. Being close to All Might, meant he knew certain things that were above his pay grade but it also meant he got to plan ahead. Aizawa lifted up his stamp, pressing it onto the ink pad before pushing it onto the paper. “If you want someone to mourn you when you die, make sure to do so. The government will take care of her if anything happens to you. And should the war turn south-”

“Nukes, sarge?”

Aizawa looked up at the emotionless expression on Midoriya’s face. Aizawa knew that Midoriya knew a lot. It was the reason why he was in so many high level meetings. He was smart, an exceptional strategist and someone that provided more good plans than bad ones. He was the reason they were holding on where they were. He was someone who All Might would save over the president himself.

Aizawa let out a grunt, answering Midoriya’s question enough. “Should a fallout happen, with the future of this country in mind, all you high ranking married young ones will be on the first train out of the trenches and on the first ship to Okinawa.”

“Okinawa?” Midoriya saw the look on the sergeants face and knew that it was self explanatory if he thought about it. His eyebrows furrowed but he nodded. “Yes, sarge.”

“My point being, Midoriya.” He signed off on the last document. “Marry that girl and make sure you take my rations when you do. She makes amazing scones and I’d like to have some.”

Midoriya paused before chuckling and nodding. “Yes, sarge.”

“Where are you going to stay?”

“I’ve saved up enough for the deposit on a house sarge, but I’m thinking of just a larger apartment for now. That way we can save up if I ever- when I’m gone off.”

Aizawa nodded. “Good. You’re a smart spender, but have a nice wedding. This place needs something to make people happy. Now go, before you infect me with whatever marriage bomb is going off in your squadrant.”

Midoriya nodded with a grateful smile. “Thank you so much, Sarge.” He bowed at the waist, before heading out. He was grateful to have someone like Aizawa who was so understanding and caring (despite what he believed himself).

Midoriya hastily made his way to the barracks, a smile on his face as he walked. He noticed new recruits marching on, making him remember when he had first enlisted. The buzz cut and short hair with skinny arms that couldn’t even carry a rifle for longer than what was necessary. He was glad he spent the past three years since entering the army being smart and training hard. Now all the work he put in, all the effort and experience will benefit you as well.

Midoriya walked into the barracks with a pep in his step.

“Izuku!” He turned to look at Iida. “What did Aizawa say?” he asked.

He smiled and nodded with a smile. “Consider me gone, Tenya. This Friday, I’ll be out and hopefully engaged.”

“You actually going to ask her to marry you?” Bakugou asked with a raised eyebrow and a disbelieving look on his face.

Midoriya chuckled as he threw open his arms as he headed over to his bed and area. “Well, of course. I want to give her the best a man can do and the only way I can do that is if I ask her to marry me. Hoping to get married by the end of next week. Never know when I’ll see her again with the way the war is going.” He reminded the blond man.

Kaminari sighed as he got his hat out of his trunk at the foot of his bed. “Thinner ration books, blacked out windows, airraids every other day. I thought it was finally settling down before all this happened.” He stated with a hopeful look on him.

Midoriya understood the feeling, but there wasn’t time to think about it. He opened his mouth to say something.

“I’m not surprised at all, if I were honest.” Todoroki pointed out with a shrug. “They’ve been going steady for a while now. It makes sense.”

Midoriya pointed to Todoroki. “Thank you, Shoto.” He stated with a smile. “Now lets stop talking about my doll and I, and get to training.”

“That was so groovy!” You giggled as you sat on against the hood of the car, the both of you out in a clearing just outside of town as the sun began to set. You looked to your right at Midoriya, a wide smile on his own face. “Why have you never taken me before?”

“Deflector.” Bakugou tsked making some others chuckle.

He chuckled and nodded his head. “It’s a little army soldier secret, doll. We don’t need you telling your boss about it.” He reminded you. You gave him a pointed look. He raised his hand in defense as he chuckled. “Just a precaution, doll. It isn’t aimed at you.”

“Well it sure sounds like it.” You told him. You looked out at the setting sun, smiling at the plains before you. It was times like this where you could forget, for just a second, that war was not happening and that you were going to be just fine. “Is the view not just wonderful, Izuku?”

“Yah… she sure is…” You paused as you turned to look at the soldier next to you, his eyes were down on you, not looking anywhere near the sunset. You felt heat bloom to your face as you looked away from him. “Doll…” He started, glancing to his right for a moment before looking back at you. “I know we haven’t been going on long but, well… I sure don’t think I have any regrets with what I want to say.”

You tilted your head confused as he pushed off the front of the car and moved to stand in front of you. “Izuku? What d-do-” You couldn’t even finish your words as you looked down at him, speechless. He was down on one knee in front of you.

“Y/N, I know you deserve more than me.” He started, his eyes only ever being focused on you. “You deserve a good life, with a man that can afford to give you the big house and picket fence that you dream of. A man from a good and stable family that has more to his name than what he’s made of it.”

“Oh Izuku.” You started with a frown on your face, shaking your head. “You know I don’t need that.”

“But you sure deserve it. Doll, I- I don’t know what tomorrow might bring. I might leave off to war tomorrow and never see you again but, if there is one thing this soldier does know is that…” He took your hands in his large ones, encasing them in his loving and soft embrace. “I love you, doll. I love you so much and you’ve made me the happiest version of myself that I’ve ever been. So if it would please you,” He took out from his pocket a delicate golden ring, one just for you. Not too fancy but one that made your heart melt anyways. “Lets get married. I promise you doll, I’ll do everything in my life to protect you. I’ll protect you, and respect you and work twice as hard to get you what you want and I-”

“Oh shut up, Izuku!” You pulled on his shirt and leaned down into a kiss.

His eyes widened but easily held onto you, kissing you back. “D-does that mean-”

“Yes!”

“Yes?”

“YES!” You cheered as you flung yourself into his arms making the poor man fall back into the long grass with a laugh.

The both of you laughed with tears in your eyes, nothing but each other and the world a distant memory.

-Glitch1d

#izuku midoriya x reader #mha x y/n #izuku x reader #bnha #deku x reader #bnha midoriya #midoriya izuku #midoriya izuku fluff #midoriya izuku x reader #soldier midoriya izuku #deku fluff #midoriya x you #midoriya x reader #izuku midoryia x you #izuku midoria x reader

[asapeveryday]

The Last Time Pt4 (FINAL)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader

Warnings: sex sex sex

Summary: you finally know what you want. Hopefully Paige does too.

Authors note: hello!!!! Hope this hits how I intended. I know this series was short, don’t worry!! I have many ideas for what’s next. Enjoy!

MINORS DNI AFTER CUT PLEASEEE

The stadium is loud and bustling. You managed to secure half decent seats but cursed at yourself for not thinking this through. Just showing up to her game and hoping you’d be able to talk to her? How stupid could you be? It’s not like you can just show up to her change room, her teammates would probably think you were a stalker. Paige would probably be embarrassed.

You didn’t know what to think of her now. When the two of you would meet up you felt as if you’d known her your whole life. She knew a lot about you, and you grew to learn personal things about her too. But now all of that means nothing, and you now realized there’s a decent possibility she didn’t even tell her friends about you.

What was there to tell? ‘Every week I fuck this girl, then we spill our guts to each other and then don’t talk again till the next time.’

You sigh to yourself, looking down at the navy and white jersey you had on. You hadn’t worn Paige’s jersey since the night you first met at the Halloween/Birthday party. You felt like an idiot.

When you look back onto the court, you briefly catch a good chunk of the team looking in your direction during warmups. Ignoring the flip in your stomach, you convince yourself it’s nothing to do with you.

-

“Is that her?”

“She’s wearing Paige’s jersey.”

“Has she ever been to one of our games before?”

Azzi shakes her head. “No, she hasn’t.”

“So why would she be here now?”

“She misses Paiges pussy power.” KK shrugs, then yelps when Nika hits her.

“Should we tell Paige?” Nika asks.

Azzi glances at Paige, who is clearly in her own thoughts. “No. It’ll throw her off. We can worry about this later.”

“We gonna parent trap em or what?” KK asks.

“Parent trap who?” Paige finally joins the conversation.

“Nobody!” The whole group sings. Paige just shakes her head.

-

The game is entrancing. You never cared to watch basketball, even when you started seeing Paige you never bothered to check it out. You recall her trying to drop hints of her wanting you at one of her games, but you didn’t think you could handle seeing her playing. You thought it would make you more attracted to her, and you were right.

Paige was absolutely in her element. You could see now why the internet could rave on about the smallest play for days. The game had you on the edge of your seat, Paige was a monster when she wanted to be and it was turning you on to no amend.

Your feelings become unsure as you see her on the court, running back and forth, shooting and making shots, yelling and celebrating. Chest bumps with her teammates, shared looks, laughs unheard by the crowd. It was a whole other world that you were not apart of. The reminder that this is all for her was blaring. You look around at the screaming fans, most of them girls and guys your age. Any of them could replace you, in fact you could’ve been a replacement yourself.

You suddenly have the urge to get up and leave, to call it quits and forget about your infatuation with #5. This urge only worsens when Paige approaches the stands in attempt to rile up the crowd, raising her hands to say “louder, louder!”

You watch as her eyes graze the masses, and then you watch as her expression morphs from excitement to a billion other unidentifiable emotions as her gaze touches your portion of the seats. You know then that she’s seen you, but you don’t know how she feels about that.

She retreats as if nothing has happened and she plays the rest of the game fiercely, but her face retains the same unreadable expression.

At the end of the game you once again curse yourself for not thinking this out more thoroughly. So far all you’ve done is make yourself feel sorry. You put your hand in your pocket to get the headphones, but instead feel your phone buzz.

From: Paige B

come outside of the gym rn

You oblige.

-

She’s waiting for you at the back, all ready to leave in her Huskies tracksuit. Her hair is still in her signature game day braids and ponytail, and when her eyes meet yours you feel yourself physically shudder. Paige’s eyes have always had that effect on you.

“So now you wanna come to my games?” She asks, not angry but not quite impressed either.

“Don’t get too excited.” You try to smile, taking out the headphones. “I found these in my room the other day…thought I should give them back.”

She takes them and inspects them for a second. You wonder if she remembers how they ended up on the floor of your bedroom in the first place.

“You seriously came to my game to give me headphones? That’s all you have to say?” She licks her lips, shaking her head. “I forgot how much of a pussy you can be.”

“Are you serious?” You ask her, unprepared for the reaction she gave you. “Pussy? I’m a pussy? You’re the one who ended things to ‘focus’ on the sport you’ve been focused on for like, I dunno, your whole life? You could’ve at least tried to make a decent excuse.”

“Yeah, well you can’t be offended that I dipped.” She shrugs. “Not like you were ever in much hurry to see me, right?”

You don’t respond to that in time, because she immediately retaliates.

“Why so quiet now, hm? Were you hoping I would just keep hitting you up? I have better things to do, and oh, God knows you do. Why don’t you just go home and study for some final, or do whatever it is you’d do with your time before you met me.”

Paige’s composure is calm. She seems to be trying to keep a chill ‘I don’t care’ energy, but the way she’s biting at you with such hostility is just proof to you that she cares.

“You’re such a dick, Paige.” You sigh, rubbing your face. “I don’t want to go home. I want to be with you.”

Paige is quiet.

“We don’t have to date, I- it’s not even that. I just couldn’t take it, being around you. That day when we first met I went to bed just thinking about how much I wanted to know you, and I knew I couldn’t think like that because you don’t commit to anyone, and..I-”

“Take this.” Paige interrupts.

“What?”

She hands your a pair of keys on a lanyard. “I have to go right now.” She gestures to the keys. “Go home.”

She turns to leave in an unnaturally abrupt way, almost awkwardly. You stare down at the keys, the lanyard is blue and white with the writing “Uconn Women’s Division One Basketball”.

When Paige said go home, she meant her dorm. These are her keys.

-

When you walk inside you’re immediately flooded with memories of the past five months. You’re unsure if you should go to her room or not, but just as you start to think the door opens and Paige lets herself in.

“The team is out for dinner and drinks.” She smiles to herself, taking off the zip-up leaving her in track pants and a white t-shirt. Her arms are toned and veiny. You want to talk, but seeing her in front of you like this again, proudly telling you the place is empty for the two of you, it’s all just making you crave her body.

When she approaches you she stops just centimetres away, looking down at you. Her finger finds your chin, and she nudges your face to look up at her, eyes wide.

“So you want me now? How long till that changes and you ghost me? Will you watch me like a creep at my games again then too?” She asks, tilting her head.

“I always wanted you. I just didn’t want you to think so.” You mumble.

“Well you got what you wanted.” She says, and your heart sinks because you can hear that she’s telling the truth.

She looks down at you and lets out a breath. You’re still wearing the jersey.

“I’ve seen so many people in this jersey.” Paige says, toying with the hem and releasing butterflies in your stomach. “But ion think it ever had the same effect you did. When I saw you that day, all alone, I just knew I needed you. I was so mad when I dropped you off that night cus I was already forgetting what you looked like with my name and number on you while you came.”

You can feel yourself water at that. Reaching towards her to take out her ponytail, leaving the front pieces of hair braided and letting the rest of her hair cascade down her shoulders like it did the night you met her. You toy with a lock of blonde and meet her eyes again. “I can remind you, if you want me to.”

You hear her shallowly inhale as you slowly slide your pants off, maintaining eye contact as you throw them away and stand infront of her in your underwear and her jersey.

Suddenly she picks you up, forcing you to straddle her as she holds you with her hands on your ass. Her mouth is finally on yours as she takes you to her room, not bothering to turn the lights on. You let out a gasp when she tosses you onto her bed and climbs on top of you, hurriedly taking off her shirt.

When your lips meet it’s different from any other kiss you’ve shared with her. There’s something more, you never understood what girls in movies meant by a spark when you kiss, but you got it now. The feeling of her lips on yours sends a shock throughout your body, and you know she feels it too.

There’s a change in the way your bodies move against each other, like you are perfectly in sync. It feels like Paige is inside of your head, the way she knows exactly what to do to get you wetter then you already are.

She grabs your wrists and pins them above your head with one hand while the other starts to massage your clit through your underwear. You can’t help but let out a moan at the combination of pressure on your clit plus Paige’s kisses trailing down to your neck and collarbone.

She eyes you when her mouth moves down to your heat, letting her hand find your breast under the jersey. She gives soft kitten licks that make you gasp, the way her tongue flicks at your clit and coats your underwear with her saliva is already orgasm inducing enough, so you can’t help but moan out loud when she forces your underwear down and fully starts to eat you out.

As she laps at you with almost no mercy you can feel yourself reaching your peak. Paige seems to notice too, because she abruptly pulls away and gets up from the bed.

“Paige?” You mumble, shocked at the fact that you might cry. Your body is confused from the denial of its well anticipated orgasm and Paige herself has always made sure you finished.

You watch as she opens her closet and reaches for a specific shoebox out of the many she keeps stored there. When she opens the box there aren’t any shoes, there is however a strap on.

“Oh shit.” You whisper, and when you meet her eyes you both let out a laugh.

“Ion usually use this because it can feel so...” She says, picking it up. “I dunno…intimate? Having to be so close to you like that. I don’t know, it’s stupid.”

You suck in a breath, digesting what she’s saying. Does this mean she’s accepting her intimacy with you now? By offering you her 6-inch lilac dildo?

“Let’s do it.” You say.

She relishes in the fact that you’re watching in awe as she attaches the strap to herself, and the thought of pounding into you is driving her crazy.

You’re pinned against the bed again, but this time you can feel the strap against your legs, and it send shivers down your spine. Paige kisses you so passionately, and you mewl when the tip of her teases your entrance. You can feel her smirk against your lips, dragging this out as long as she can. “Please,” you whine. “please, P. Put it in.”

When she eases herself in, you can swear there are stars on the ceiling of her bedroom. Paige takes your legs and puts them over her shoulders, slowly stretching you out and gliding her strap in and out of you. Her face is nuzzled into your neck, and you can hear her whispering about how good you’re taking her.

When you’re more adjusted to the length her speed increases, and the bed starts to squeak. You can’t help but cling to the purple blanket, or her back, just about anything you can reach.

“Paige, oh my god, P. Don’t stop.” You cry. You had never begged for her before, not like this, but there’s no worry of being embarrassed anymore. You decide she can have you at your neediest state and you trust that she’ll take you.

As she pounds into you, you feel her hand entwine with yours, holding you in position but also providing a sort of comfort. Your heart warms at the feeling of her calloused fingers against your own. It’s the first time you’ve ever held hands with her.

Paige’s breath is rugged in your ear and her hand is squeezing yours for dear life. “You look so good like this, baby.” She mutters. “Do you even know how much I want you? I can’t shake the feeling that you don’t want me.”

“Paige.” You whine. “No, Paige I want you.”

“How bad?”

“Oh” you whimper into her ear. “So bad Paigey. So, so bad. I always wanted you. I was scared.” You groan out.

“Shit.” She responds, voice wavering. The room is filled with the lewd noises of you and her together. “I want to be with you. Mmh, I couldn’t look at anyone after that night with you.” She murmurs into your ear.

Finally you cum, and you feel it through every inch of your being. Pleasure truly from head to toes, you’re in heaven. You realize you might just want to give Paige everything you have, really. Mind body and soul. The thought causes anxiety in your stomach.

Paige slumps down behind you and immediately wraps her arms around you. “I think I like the jersey so much because it makes me feel like you’re mine.” She utters. You’re lost in your own insecure thoughts, and just reply with a bland “mhm.”

At this, Paige physically turns you around so that you’re laying face to face with her. She looks beautiful, hair wild aside from her braids, cheeks flushed, eyes still bright and surprisingly alert. She licks her lips indecisively, something she often does when she’s thinking hard.

“You know, I meant what I said.”

“What?”

“When I, uh.” She trails off, suddenly unable to hold eye contact with you. “When I said I wanted to be with you. I meant it.”

“Paige.” You cover your face. “Don’t mess with me, please.” You say, hating the way your throat feels tight. The vulnerability you felt before has turned sour. Now you’re just scared that here, laying in her bed with no underwear and a tired mind, that you’ll get too excited and this’ll all be something you’ll regret.

“It’s not funny.” You say. “When I say I want you it’s not because of sex, or the way you look or anything like that. I actually want everything you have to give. And I’m willing to give you everything too.” You say.

“Fuck, I know, I know.” She says quietly. “I didn’t want to think about it at the start but, that day when I told you it would be the last time we’d meet, I knew i’d just fucked myself over.” Paige laughs almost bitterly. “I was lowkey praying I’d run into you, so I could just see your face n’ shit.”

When you just stare at her she laughs. “I’m being serious, okay? I am. I want you for real. You’ve had me since that stupid party, I jus didn’t know it.”

“Okay..okay.” You say, stifling a laugh yourself.

“I want your body.” She rubs your thigh. “I want your mind.” She takes your face in her hands, forcing you to look at her again. Her eyes are like ice, piercing through you.

“I want to know all of that complicated shit you think.” She leans in to kiss you. Not a sexual kiss, a real kiss. When it breaks she says “I want you at my games. I want you cheering me on. I want to be there when you’re out in the world making money and being a badass.”

You roll your eyes at this. “Just kiss me, Bueckers. Don’t get all corny now.”

Paige just smiles, her tongue sticking out between her teeth.

Her kisses spark fireworks in your stomach. You relish in the fact that this won’t be the last time.

There won’t be a last time ever again.

#fanfic #fanfiction #paige bueckers #paige bueckers smut #smut #uconn wbb

[minervas-hand]

Right to fear, wrong to believe

Just had a horrible realization and needed to meta it out.

How different they were before Edinburgh, when Crowley was sucked down into Hell.

Look at this flirty babygirl in the Bastille:

I mean could he climb that tree any faster?

(This is why I really like fics that place a more physical relationship here, pre-Bastille or just post-Bastille, because c'mon look at them. )

In S1 the next thing is 1862 and Crowley asking for insurance (with a cane ffs). And Aziraphale freaking out with his "fraternizing" BS. It's jarring, until we get 1827 filled in for us in S2.

@takeme-totheworld notes in this post:

Crowley sure went from "our respective head offices don't actually care how things get done" and "nobody ever has to know" to "walls have ears" FAST after Edinburgh. And Aziraphale went from looking at Crowley with hearts in his eyes to "I've been FrAtErNiZiNg" just as quickly. I'm more convinced than ever that Edinburgh was the first time Crowley ever actually got caught and punished for fucking around with Aziraphale/doing good deeds/whatever it was they yanked him back down to Hell for, and it scared the absolute shit out of both of them and changed the whole tone of their relationship after that.

Yes! - it's clear to me as well that the Edinburgh graveyard was a very bad turning point, where they both saw that Hell was listening and would intervene. And it did change their relationship drastically, for over a century and a half (really, until looming Armageddon loosened up the stakes for them).

But what about Heaven?

See the thing is, we know Azi's been worried about Heaven watching him for the past 6000 years.

But they haven't.

[GIFs posted by starrose17]

All this time, and Heaven had not seen them together. Hadn't noticed. Had not even LOOKED.

I want to mention what @starrose17 says about this here in this post:

What I love about this is her choice of words, “went back through the Earth Observation files.” This implies that these photos were already filed somewhere meaning somebody had to have been watching them which meant somewhere in the depths of the bureaucratic heaven there’s an underpaid angel clerk tasked with watching angels on Earth, and he’s been hording photos of his favourite Angel/Demon couple not reporting them to Michael because he wants to see what happens.

And that's exactly what this fic covers!: Spying Omens by @ednav

(Give this a read, it's fabulous.)

While I am here for this being exactly how that happens, the other scenario is colder and worse - there's no one watching, at all. It's just filing automatically and never seen until some Scrivener is called to pull a file.

From @fuckyeahisawthatat's comment here :

I found this scene to be quite chilling, actually. Not only is the idea of Heaven as a surveillance state brilliant (way to make “God is always watching” sound way more ominous) but this is exactly how modern surveillance states work. They don’t actively watch everybody all the time. That’s not physically possible for humans, and even if it is metaphysically possible for Heaven, it’s not a very efficient use of resources. Surveillance states watch people they deem “suspicious.” And once you’ve been put in the category of “suspicious,” they have massive amounts of data that they can comb through to collect a lot of information about you–to retroactively build a case justifying why you’re suspicious, to collect information about where you go and who you associate with, etc.

Yes.

So we either have secret collusion in the rank and file, or we have a surveillance state that is constantly reinforced to its subjects for fear's sake, for control.

(Well, it obviously could be both.)

BUT my point is… Up until Edinburgh, Hell has not been watching (or caring at least). And up until near the end of Armageddon't, neither has Heaven.

Oh, my poor Angel. Thousands of years, of denying yourself, of pushing Crowley away, of carrying around a tension that is it's own constellation.

After 1827 you might have reason, but for the 5000+ years before that?

Thousands of years and Heaven was not watching nor cared.

You were right to fear. And you were wrong to believe.

And that just breaks my heart.

#okay gonna go reread Spying Omens again because that's my headcanon now #I hope Azi tears out the Earth Observation cams or servers or whatever it is #where's Murderbot when you need a good hack #good omens meta #aziracrow #ineffable husbands #good omens

[vivendraws]

making an important announcement about some things i’ve noticed in the gwendoline christie fandom that really bug me.

disclaimer: read this at your own convenience and discretion. i am not responsible for any sort of hurt feelings and frankly… i don’t care. if you’re mad about this, you are probably the problem. /lh

to start with id like to begin on a positive note so that i’m not diving into negativity, i don’t want to be completely negative about my experiences because i’ve actually met some of the kindest people in the world through this fan base.

the gwen fandom, the gwandom, the gwendoline christie fandom , the lesbian cesspool, has been an incredible experience that i’m grateful i’ve had the pleasure of being apart of.

i went through a rough patch during november, and if i hadn’t found out about gwen, or met such wonderful people during my time here , i honestly wouldn’t be here right now. i owe my life to these people, gwen included. i will forever adore miss christie and what she stands for alongside the friends i’ve made along the way.

and while i know someday this hyperfix will end, it’s really disheartening to me when a fandom is what makes me grow distant from things i enjoy. it happened before, i feel as though it is happening all over again.

and no, i’m not taking issue with anything like the catrissa stuff or the brienne and larissa ship going around or anything like that. i like that we can all be weird together and enjoy aus like catrissa and crackships like bririssa (not sure the official name that was decided lol). my issue is the amount of content i’ve seen that either focuses on gwen herself, or the strange relationship with minors, or the odd artwork of gwen, and the absolute disgusting behaviour towards giles.

gwen would be absolutely appalled seeing fanfictions of herself that involve nsfw or just her in general, anyone would, it’s disgusting to make works of real people in that setting. it’s like you’re treating them as an original character you can mould and manipulate as you see fit and using someone who is real with thought and feeling and consciousness for smut fics is not okay, or any fic in general. i totally get the hype around her characters, i literally have “brienne’s princess” in my bio and i’ve had “jane murdstone’s bloodbag” (in reference to my vamp au) as a name in a discord server.

but i think the fandom has begun to blur the lines between fictional characters and reality settings when it comes to gwen and the personalities she portrays on the television screen. it’s not fair to her. it’s disgusting. i’ve seen a minor do it, i’ve seen a grown adult do it. it’s something i don’t see shamed and frowned upon often enough and it’s really not okay.

on that note i’d like to quickly mention the photos, we alllll know what photos i’m talking about. the bunny one, the nudes, the ones gwen has expressed regret towards and wishes to not have them spread. was there not a “fan” who brought her a book of her nudes and wanted her to sign it? that person who was blocked on instagram by gwen because they reposted her nudes on their story and tagged her???? how can you refer to yourself as a fan after behaving so abhorrently? absolutely disgusting behaviour. as a collective fandom we need to stop touching those photos (metaphorically speaking) and leave them in the past.

i’ve been told of numerous circumstances in which adults have shown their nsfw works to minors in this fandom and it has to fucking stop. it’s disgusting!! how can you do that knowingly? i constantly ponder terminating my account after a minor got ahold of my nsfw work, and upon realising they WERE a minor it was as simple as blocking and moving on. it’s truly not that hard, folks. and the minors on tiktok who fight with others saying silly things like “that’s my wife” or worse. i’ve seen it all, i feel like, and the more i see it the more sick i become. i cannot stand it.

i have seen and heard of fans who have fat shamed gwen for that one pink dress she wore to the met gala. she looked so happy in that dress, and the audacity one must have to fatshame that poor woman on twitter then turn around and continue to proclaim your ‘love for her’ as if you’d done no wrong? are you fucking serious? are you mental?

and the sexualisation over the porcelain doll look, gods some of you are sick. those were not real breasts, people. considering the fact she wholeheartedly regrets her nude photoshoots , what possesses you to believe she would actually flaunt her chest in that outfit?

the blatant mistreatment of poor giles is not fucking okay either. just because you’re jealous of someone who makes her immensely happy does not give you the right to post something so vile and cruel about him. shame on you. why do you believe this is okay to post:

????????

are you serious? have any of you stopped to consider how HAPPY giles makes her? or is her happiness the last thing you ponder when you look at her? have you even noticed how unhappy she looks lately? have you truly paused to consider how she would feel about seeing this on your page, random twitter user, or the rest of you who think this is okay? bless your hearts.

and some of the absolutely horrific things i’ve seen about her online and the hurtful behaviour towards giles makes me question the difference between a fan and just the general paparazzi. because if you truly loved her and you truly loved giles then i would not be ranting into the fucking void about it for no reason.

i avoid interacting with pages i find problematic on here to keep from stirring the pot but tonight i chose violence and got reeeeeal pissy about how i felt about this place. it’s not okay what i see on here and it’s getting exhausting seeing the same cycle of content on a daily.

that’s everything i have to say, i think. i probably missed a lot that should be discussed in the comments but i’m done for now because i know if i go on i’ll probably cry.

before you post things about real people with real feelings , stop to consider how they will feel those real feelings towards the content you put out. chances are you’ll become less problematic and obnoxious that way. 💘

#gwendoline christie #gwendolineuniverse #sigh #announcement #i’m upset #this fandom is insane #some of you need help #seriously #like its not even funny #you guys are weird #please repost this everywhere #this is not okay #i’m really tired of seeing these things #and i understand i can block and move on but i feel as though it was important enough to be said #fandom #tumblr fandom #and specifically #the tumblr and tiktok fandom #instagram is becoming just as bad #and twitter has always been atrocious

[ghostofwriting]

Kildare Split Part Four: in another life

Rafe Cameron x reader

Chapter 4: in another life

Note: Here's part four!! I'm still crying over TTPD. Down bad is so incredibly Rafeit's insane. Anyway!! I love you all so much, thank you for reading and being absolutely wonderful. This part covers the smau up until part 26. Good luck soldiers!!

Warnings: none, not edited, angst, swearing, sadness, julio, mentions of drugs, mentions of suicidal ideation.

Word Count:  6,722

Synopsis: Everyone has noticed that there's been a shift in how Kildare Split acts around each other. Rafe and Y/N used to be so close, they were always pictured together, and always shared stories of each other and for the last few years, there has been nothing from them. A behind-the-scenes look at what went down between everyone's favourite band.

Chapter 4: in another life 

It’s a nightmare. Everything feels off. The walls are caving in. His mouth feels as if he had chewed on cotton balls for the past hour. It’s spinning. He’s lost control of himself and he doesn’t know how he’ll get it back. 

It started because of the thought of them together. Forever. Married. Having kids and living happily ever after clawed and his chest and ate him from the inside out. It was an ugly feeling. He wanted to be happy for her. There was no way he could be. Not when he was so deeply in love with her. Not that he ever stopped. 

It was just one blunt. He stole it from Barry. He was careful not to disturb any of the other drugs he had in there. Careful not to look at them too long. He’s been good. Has been clean for more than two years without any missteps. And here he is high once again. It’s just weed he tells himself. It’s fine. He’s fine. 

They’re about to go onstage when Sofia loses her mind. She goes absolutely ballistic. He’s pulling her off to the side away from prying eyes.

“Stop. Relax. Let me explain.” Everything comes out in a jumble as he’s trying to balance his damn guitar and get her to stop flailing her arms everywhere. 

“There’s no explaining anything. We are over. We are so done, Rafe. Holy shit I cannot believe I put up with your crazy obsession with your friend who by the way you didn’t even date. You’re insane.” 

“Can you calm down for a second?”

“No! For your information Rafe. She doesn’t want you! She’s moved on! And we could have too but no. You’re here still pining over something that doesn’t exist. You are so incredibly disrespectful to me. I have been nothing but supportive of you. And I have put up with so much shit from you so much hatred because what? Did I take you away from her? You chose me! You left her. And now I’m leaving you.” 

“Sofia-“

“The way you have treated me the last couple of months with your album release and hinting that it’s about her? Do you have any idea how that makes me look? How it makes me feel? You don’t care about anyone but yourself.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh! Sorry! You and her! And barely even yourself, you know how I know?” She looks at him, volcanic ash in her eyes. “Because you’re fucking high right now!”

“Keep your voice down.” He pulls her deeper into the corner they’re standing in.

“Fuck you, Rafe. I loved you. I did. I thought that once she moved on, we would be okay. I was wrong. Do not sabotage this for her. She’s happy. You’re not good enough for her. And not for me.”

She does a 180 and storms off away from backstage and away from him. He looks up and Topper is staring at him from where he stands beside Sarah, her hand is on his arm, a look of concern on her face. He shakes his head at them and turns to the stairs that lead to the stage. He spots Y/N and Julio, they’re talking quietly to each other, he sees her laugh and touch Julio’s face, and he kisses the palm of her hand.

Fuck this. He runs back to the green room. He knows he left it around here somewhere and he knows where the lighters are. He digs through three of Barry’s jackets before he finds the blunt. Barry must have moved it. When he pulls it out, a plastic baggie with four white pills comes up with it. He thinks about putting them back. He wants to put them back. He hears the 5-minute warning, stuffs the baggie in his jeans and runs to find a lighter. 

+++

There’s something off about Rafe. She notices when they begin their second song. He’s swaying more than usual, coming up and singing to her face a little too closely. 

It must be because they’re trying to be friends. And maybe the fight with Sofia. It was pretty nasty the way she went at him. She couldn’t make out what they were saying, the crowd and music drowning them out. Sofia looked upset. She must have cooled off because she’s in the audience standing next to Sarah. Not that their manager would allow her to leave even if she wanted to. It would cause too much speculation online and that’s something they don’t need more of. 

She hasn’t had to protect Julio from how Rafe and her used to act on stage, during their no-talking years, they still put on an act but it was nowhere near the level of how they acted pre-everything. They were pretty heavy on the PDA, without confirming anything of course. It was more like singing into each other's mics while staring longingly into each other’s eyes. A lot of heavy petting, she would drape herself around Rafe, Rafe would swing her around and carry her. They would practically make out on stage every show. They did everything but have sex. It’s no wonder the theories and rumours started. 

Post everything that went down, they tamed it and kept it to their side of the stage unless they were switching over. They didn’t share a mic and looking at each other too long was off-limits. And now, well now, it looks like Rafe wants to sing into her mouth with the way he gets closer and closer. Julio knows about their past and he knows that she would never do anything to hurt him but this is a little much. She doesn’t want to rub anything in his face or make him feel disrespected. She also can’t diss Rafe on stage. They have an act. They’re all best friends and nothing bad has ever happened between them. 

So she plays along. And she sings into his mic, she whips her hair in his face and he sings over her shoulder. They’re closer than they’ve ever been. This should be a fun one to look at online. At some point, her shirt comes off. She’s a little angry at Rafe’s immediate switch-up. She feels that since they’re just figuring out how to be friends, he could give it a rest and not go all out. So her shirt comes off. It got stuck on the mic stand, she got pissed off that it ripped a little and she took it off, throwing it into the crowd. At some point Rafe is not even fully on the stage anymore, he’s lying down looking up at her as he plays his guitar. She’s standing over him, singing into the mic and playing the bass all while wondering what the hell has gotten into him. 

Security is going insane over Rafe hanging off the stage and people are trying to grab his legs. Sarah is diving into the crowd trying to get a shot of what’s happening on stage. She kind of wants the show to be over but at the same time, it’s the most fun she’s had on stage in a while. 

+++

Trying to find their footing after not being friends for three years, that much is clear. One moment he’s trying to make out with her onstage and the next he can barely look at her. It has been a little bit harder than she thought it would be. 

It’s strangely painful. The realization that they can’t go back to how they were before anything happened. She knew it wouldn’t be easy but these awkward silences might kill her. 

She’s sitting between Topper and Rafe, staring directly at Barry’s bored face as Ash explains who kows what. Something about which celebrities and important label heads are coming to tonight’s show. 

She didn’t care about the label heads. One of their most important shows had been the one two days ago. Their friends had all flown in from different places to see them. Now back in the city she calls home, that’s still all that matters. 

Cleo and Pope flew in from New York, John B and JJ had flown in from Hawaii. JJ would be leaving almost immediately after to continue training for the next big surf competition and John B would be staying at Sarah’s. Julio was at her house, she didn’t want him to have to spend the entire day at rehearsals so she told him to come by when he was ready. Ward was around somewhere too, probably with Sarah and John B. Kelce was at his hotel and would be arriving later with Kie after he got her from the airport, the only one that had missed the last show. It was an important show for them because of their people not because of some random celebrity they didn’t know. 

After the show, they would go to one of their favourite bars to celebrate and then she would be off to North Carolina for a week before moving to Madrid for the foreseeable future.

She was so excited to be there a bit before Julio started filming so they could visit his friends and family. 

After Ash is done running them through the guest list, they have some downtime before their private soundcheck and the fan soundcheck. Fan Soundcheck is her favourite because they get to play some deep cuts and answer some fun questions.

They’re standing backstage as one of their stagehands announces they’ll be out in three minutes. They’re standing in a circle making sure that their in-ears are on. Barry and Topper bickering about some random thing.

“Ready, buddy?” She looks at Rafe, her eyebrow raised as Barry laughs. 

“Buddy? Good one.” Topper laughs as Rafe’s face turns red. 

“Okay yeah, I’ll never say that again.”

“Please,” she laughs, “let’s go.” She leads the guys onto the stage as their fans start screaming. 

They play a song right off the bat and then sit down for a few questions. 

Everything is going fine, the mood is great, they’re all vibing with each other on stage, it’s great. Right up until it’s not. 

“Hi, my name is Sammy, my question is for Y/N.” She smiles at the girl and waves. 

“Hi Sammy, I remember you! You saw our last show too,” she speaks into the microphone. 

“Hi! Oh my goodness yes. I drove here from San Francisco after getting tickets last minute.” The girl rambles. “Okay, so I was wondering, what are you most looking forward to doing on your break?” She mulls over the question before answering. 

“I’m going to be semi-moving to Spain for a while so probably just exploring the city.” Sammy nods and thanks her as the mic is passed to the next person.  

Something shifts on stage after that question. She doesn’t know if she missed something or what, but suddenly the mood is tense. Barry’s in between her and Rafe and she can still feel the tension coming off him in waves. 

After the last question, they played one more song and bid the fans goodbye, telling them they would see them in a few hours for the show. 

Barry goes and does whatever Barry does before a show, Rafe storms off and Topper follows him. She looks over at her guitar tech who just shrugs his shoulders and takes her guitar from her. 

She texts Julio asking when he will be getting to the arena. When she doesn’t receive an answer, she sits in the green room, with no idea where the boys are. 

She dozes off for an hour before her phone blows up with texts from Rafe. She opens Julio’s message first, telling her that he would leave her house in an hour. Then she goes to Rafe’s texts, saying something along the lines of needing to talk to her. She sees that she has notifications from Twitter as well and opens those. From Rafe too. 

“I need you”

“Please don’t go”

“Y/N”

What is he doing? They just talked about trying to be friends, she knows about his feelings but he can’t go around blowing up her phone. He’s just sad about Sofia, how could he expect her to stay after he confessed to her that he still had feelings for his ex who wasn’t really his ex? 

She asks him what he’s doing and he asks to meet her. She tells him no, and that it’s too late to d this. Too late in the day, too late because the show is about to start, and too late because she’s going and she doesn’t want him. 

After telling Cleo to haul ass to the arena. Needing to speak to her about the Rafe of it all. She runs to the bus to hide. She doesn’t want to see him so she’ll avoid the arena. 

She doesn’t think about how if he doesn’t find her inside, he’ll look for her on the bus. 

“Y/N?” She hears him call. She’s in her bunk, curtain drawn and holding her breath. He walks closer and stands in front of her bunk. She can see his shadow. 

“I know you’re in there.” She stays quiet still. “Please talk to me.” She sighs, not able to deny him when he sounds so sad. 

She draws the curtain open and meets his eyes. 

“We talked about this.”

“No, we talked about how I would try to be your friend. Not how you’re going to move away with your boyfriend.”

“What did you expect me to do? Sit at home alone for however long the break ends up being?”

“No, I thought we could hang out when we were both home and repair our friendship or whatever.”

“Rafe, I can’t do that. I won’t put my life on hold for you anymore.”

“Why are you doing this? Why can’t you just feel the same way? Why won’t you love me?” 

She’s surprised by his words. For the first time, she looks at him. Takes in his dishevelled appearance, his jittering hands, and the dilation of his pupils. 

“Are you high?” she swings herself off her bed to get as much distance between them as possible. 

“No.” He’s lying. 

“What the fuck Rafe? Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because I’m fucking sad okay? And I don’t want to feel anything.” She can’t believe he would go down this road again,  after being clean for so long. She can’t believe he would be around her like this. Not when he knows how many bad memories it brings.

“You have to leave. You have to get away from me.”

“Y/N.” His voice cracks.

“No. You know my history, the shit I have been through because of drugs. You know it very well actually. I don’t need to be around your erratic behaviour. It’s triggering, it hurts me.” Her voice is firm. 

“Okay. I’m sorry.” he backs up turning around quickly and storming off the bus. 

She sits back down, her hands slightly shaking. If he’s using again, she doesn't know if she can have him in her life. 

+++

He’s happy Sarah’s the one that finds him. He’s spread out on the floor. The curtain covers him from the fans' curious eyes. The stage is quiet, with only a few people coming and going. The rest of the crew’s at dinner. 

“What are you doing?” She stares from above him.

“Laying.” He mumbles

“Are you not going to come eat dinner?” She points behind her in the direction of the lunch room.

“Not hungry.”

“What’s wrong?

“Sad.” He sees the annoyance at his one-word answers cross her face. 

“Rafe, full sentences please.”

“Y/N told me to go away. That she couldn’t be around me.” She crouches down next to him. 

“I thought you two were trying to be friends?” she questions. 

“I ruined it.” He can feel himself well up. 

“How?”

“By being high.”

“You are not.” she kneels left to him now, grabbing his face roughly and bringing it so his eyes are aligned with hers. 

“I am.” She looks angry at him. He feels tears start to gather. God, why does he make the women he cares most about in his life so upset?

“You can’t be high. You’re an addict.”

“Just weed. Nothing more.”

“I don’t care if it’s just weed. It’s not just weed for you. It’s a slippery slope. You go from weed to forgetting you’re sober, to cocaine.”

“I’m sorry.” The pity in her look makes his stomach twist.

“Let’s go get you cleaned up before the show. You need food and to sober up.”

“I’ll be sad though.” She stands up, extending her hand out for him to take. 

“You’re high and sad, I don’t think it helped.”

“That’s what the cocaine is for.” He jokes, it doesn’t earn him a laugh, just a scowl.

“Don’t even joke about that.”

Maybe he can get drunk after the show, then he’ll forget how sad he is. 

+++

The show goes off without a hitch. They are all smiles, dripping with sweat as they take the final bow of the tour. Tears are prickling her eyes as she looks over at Topper. His smile was big and shining. She looks at Rafe and he’s messing with Barry’s hair, a burst of laughter leaving him as Barry jumps on his back. Barry waves to the crowd as Rafe piggybacks him off. Topper grabs her hand and pulls her off the stage, waving one last time before they can’t be seen anymore. 

Julio waits for her, a huge grin on his face and his arms wide open for her to run into. Once she lets go of him, she hugs Cleo and then Pope, and then she’s tackled by JJ, Kie, and John B. 

“You all killed it!” JJ yells in her ear, making her jolt back. 

“Fucking best show we’ve ever played!” Topper screams, coming up to her and hugging her. Barry joins the hug putting his sweaty arms around them both. Rafe hesitantly joins the group hug. 

“Another successful tour,” he says, his eyes catching hers in the huddle. She smiles softly. 

“Let’s go party!” Kie screams from down the hallway where she’s started to walk away. 

Everyone starts cheering and following her lead. She finds Julio’s hand as they make their way to gather their stuff and leave the arena. 

+++

He spots Julio come in through the back doors of the club, Y/N hanging off his arm, her lips swollen. His eyes soften when he looks at her. He sees how much he loves her, and how he would never hurt her. He would go to the ends of the world for her. And he hates him. He can’t stand that she’s not hanging off his arm. That he’s not the one kissing her against a brick wall outside a sleazy bar. 

Sofia’s gone. They’re done. And he’s hurting for the relationship that he could have had if he had let go of Y/N. Not that he ever could have. It wasn’t in the cards for him. A world where he wasn’t irrevocably in love with her didn’t exist. 

“You okay?” Sarah comes up next to him, planting her hands on the table to steady herself. 

“I’m high again.” He confesses. 

“Rafe, we talked about this.”

“I get that I just can’t stop. Everything hurts.” They look of pity from earlier returns.

“You need to stop.” He looks past her to where Y/N is.

“It’s just weed.”

“You don’t get to do weed. It’s not just weed to you. Slippery slope remember?

“I know.” 

“I’m here for you. I think you need to go back to rehab. Either before you tour or after. It needs to be sooner rather than later.  I’ll drive you there myself.” She offers. 

The idea of going back to rehab irks him. He’s not as bad as he was last time. He has control over it. At least that’s what he tells himself. 

“I don’t know how to be okay watching her be with someone else.” Sarah looks behind her at Y/N with Julio. Her smile lit up the room. Her laugh was music to his ears. 

“You don’t get to break down about this. You made your choice. Let her be happy. you need to focus on staying sober, you heal, and you move on.” 

“How?” He can’t rip his eyes away from the couple. Wishing with everything in him that it was him with her.

“By being her friend, Rafe.” She pats him on the back. He watches as she follows Topper out the back door where Y/N and Julio had come through earlier. 

Everything he and Sarah talked about flies out the window when Julio of all people see him standing there with a little bag full of who knows what that Barry gave him. Barry’s drunk and high, that’s one of the only reasons he gave it to him. Barry would kill him any other time. 

He’s been toying around with the idea of just doing it. Taking all these pills and getting it over with. 

“You probably shouldn’t take those.” Rafe side glances at him but doesn’t speak.”

“If you’re doing that shit you shouldn’t be around her.” Rafe doesn’t like him and he likes him even less when he tells him if he can or can’t be around Y/N.

“Mind your business.” He barks out.

“This is my business, you know why? Because she’s my business. And she’s a recovering addict too, Rafe. Or did you forget?” He shrugs. 

“Look, I don’t care if you care about your sobriety. But we both know you care about her enough not to risk hers. So if you’re going to do that shit, don’t bring it around her. And stay away from her.” This is the angriest he has ever heard the dark-haired man. 

“Don’t fucking tell me what to do on my tour with my friends.”  Deep down he knows Julio’s right. Right now he doesn’t care what the man says. He wants to fight him. 

“Do whatever the hell you want with yourself, I’m asking you to please, stay away from Y/N if you’re going to do drugs.”

“So you’re isolating her now too.”

“What does that mean?” Julio looks at him, one eyebrow raised, lips tight.

“You’re going to take her away. You’re taking her away from her family and her friends, to live in a country where she knows nobody. What kind of boyfriend does that?” 

“I’m taking her away from you, right?” 

“Yeah, you are.” The words spill from him before he can even think of denying them. 

“She isn’t anyone’s to take away. She makes her own decisions and she chose to be with me.” Julio saying shit like that makes him feel like he thinks he’s the best option. The best man out there.

“Shut up. You’re not better than me just because you say that stuff.”

“I’m not better than anyone, just let her be.” He doesn’t say anything. Julio stands up.

“You had your chance. Let her go.” He stays quiet. Julio starts to walk away. 

“I can’t.” He sees as Julio’s steps stutter.

“I’m going to fight for her.” 

“There’s nothing left to fight for.” He walks away. Back into her arms. Where he wishes he could be.

+++

The two weeks back home in Kildare were filled with press and interviews. Filled with people asking them when the next album was and when they would be back. He was scheduled to go to rehab after two weeks back home but due to scheduling, they had to move his tour up. Y/N was already in Spain. She spent a bit of time with her family, made sure everything was good and then flew off to Europe, taking his heart with her.

They were okay again, he had explained that he would go to rehab and try to get himself under control again. She told him that she was proud of him and that she wished him all the best. She told him that she wouldn’t be able to make it to his first show but that she would be there for his last. She hugged him goodbye on her last day on the island and told him that he would see her soon. 

The engagement scare still circulated in his brain. He’s so afraid that she would get engaged while she was away and he would truly lose her forever. Whenever he thought about it he felt like throwing up. 

One month. One month and he would see her again. 

+++

She stayed with Julio’s family for three weeks in Madrid before they had to go to Valencia where he had to film. She liked being in Madrid the most because she knew how to get around and she could stay at Julio’s house. In Valencia, they’re staying in a hotel so she doesn’t have the comfort of her things. She’ll go to the set with him most of the time but other times they are such long shoots she’d rather do anything else. She wants to explore but she’s so directionally challenged she’s scared to get lost and never return, her map couldn’t even save her sometimes. 

Julio cooks for her every day, he teaches her how to cook some dishes he learned in his classes, they write songs together, and she runs songs by him which turns into them taking turns serenading each other. They drunkenly kiss under street lights and dance in the rain. She’s never felt happier, ever been so in love. 

A month in and she’s back in Los Angeles where Rafe’s playing his last show. She’s excited to be here for him but she’s counting down the hours until she can go back to Spain. 

When she gets home she checks to see that her house hasn’t been broken into and that all pipes are still in place. Her worst nightmare is returning to a flooded house. It all seems normal, she opens a few windows to air it out. Penny’s back in Spain with Julio so she feels extra alone. 

She texts Rafe that she’s back in town and he texts her back within a minute. 

“Thank you for coming, angel.” She smiles at the nickname and responds,

“Wouldn’t miss it.”

He sees her and his world stops. Her hair is in loose waves and it looks a little longer than when he had last seen her. His heart reaches out to her, begging to be in her presence. Sarah notices him there standing like an idiot and waves him over, the motion grabbing Y/N’s attention. 

“Hey,” he says walking over.

“Hi!” She says putting her arms out to him, she goes on her tippy toes to reach him. 

“How are you?” He asks her, slowly letting go. 

“I’m good! Jetlagg is kicking my ass, but happy to be here! Look at you, rockstar.” She has a wide smile on her face that makes him feel like he’s seeing the sun for the first time.

“Yeah,” he laughs a little, scratching the back of his neck, shy all of a sudden.

“I heard a little rumour that Sofia was around?”

“I invited her to a show, extending a branch and all and we talked but that ship has sailed.”

“Are you on good terms?”

“I think we could be better, but it’s okay, I’m not holding my breath.” She links her arm with his, he looks at where their arms connect and feels like he’s on fire. How is he ever going to get over her?

+++

Rafe is amazing. He’s in a class of his own when he’s up on stage giving the show of a lifetime. It makes her tear up. She can’t help but think how he almost gave this all up when they were younger. She can’t imagine him anywhere but the stage. If he were working for his dad, his star would be caged. She’s so happy she could be a small part of his journey. He deserves the world. 

For the first time since they started talking again, she feels like they can go back to normal. She loves him. She can have her best friend back. 

+++

She doesn’t know how fast everything can fall apart. It’s perfect. Too perfect. She should have known that the other shoe would drop sooner or later. That’s how her life goes. She should have known she couldn’t have everything she wants. Things get ripped away eventually.

Rafe and Topper had mentioned that there were rumours they might have to go on a festival run. She hasn’t heard anything from their manager or their label. She likes the idea of a festival run, it could get them playing in front of people who don’t know who they are and expose them to new crowds.

She misses performing, she knows this would cut her time in Spain short. Much shorter than anticipated. She’s supposed to be there for almost seven months, with a bit of travelling back and forth until Julio finishes filming and they can stay in New York for a while. 

She’s only been here for three months. It’s been so nice to be back with Julio full time, and get to do normal couple things after work. She doesn’t know how she’ll break the news to him. She chooses not to until she knows for sure. 

The peace is short-lived. 

“What is this?” Julio holds up the phone for her to take. She grabs his phone and looks at Boston Calling’s festival lineup. She reads trying to see what he’s talking about and finally finds what he’s asking about. Saturday, May 8th: Kildare Split B stage. 

“I promise I didn’t know anything about this.” She tries to reassure him.

“That’s in two weeks.” He says to her, she feels the emotion in his voice.

“I know. I’ll talk to them.” She gives him his phone back and wraps her arms around him. 

“I’m sorry.” They stay wrapped up in each other, silence overtaking them.

+++

“Ash, no one told me. I just thought I had more time.”

“There’s nothing we can do, we have the contract, you’re expected here.” She slides her hand over her face and sighs. 

“Okay. That’s fine, but I’m leaving right after, no press.”

“Y/N, that’s not the only festival. You’ll be doing stops all spring and summer.” Her stomach drops. 

“Why didn’t anyone tell me?” 

“I’m sorry. The label will make no exceptions. You have to be here for every show.”

+++

She cries in Julio’s arms about having to leave so soon. He tells her it’s okay and that it’s nothing that they aren’t used to. She hates being used to being so far from him. She already misses him. 

They try to get back to normal for the remainder of the time but something shifts. She can’t quite place it. She doesn’t know if it’s her or if it’s him. It feels off. For the first time since they met, it feels like they’re orbiting around different stars. 

They’re returning to their apartment from lunch with one of his co-stars when her world starts to crack. She knows what he’s thinking before he even says it out loud. His eyes are sad and she can read him. She’s never hated him a day since they met. Not until now. She tries to distract herself, tries changing the subject, she tells him she’s going to shower and get ready for bed. 

In the shower, she tries to scrub away the doubt and rubs at her skin to try and rid herself of the feeling. Impending doom. The world ending. A black hole fiding her universe and destroying it before she can do anything to stop it. 

When she gets out of the shower he’s sitting on the edge of their bed facing her, she’s still trying to avoid it, she kisses his cheek and turns away. He stops her from walking away by grabbing her hand and pulling her towards him. She doesn’t face him. She can’t.

“This is so hard.” His voice comes out hoarse.

“Then don’t do it.” 

“I love you so much it hurts.” It’s not supposed to hurt. He taught her that. 

“I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

“You said we could get through it. You said that it was nothing we hadn’t done.”

“I know what I said. I thought I could.”

“And now you can’t.” He looks at her, shaking his head.

“I’m sorry. I’m so so sorry. I wish things could be different.”

“No. No. No. Stop, no, you don’t get to break up with me.” She’s screaming, the tears already spilling from her eyes. She’s never felt so crazy. And her world falls apart. She doesn’t remember a time before her life was him and her.

“Y/N. You know I love you, I would do anything for you, and this is the right thing to do.”

“No. You don’t get to choose what is right for me. I do. And I choose you. I always choose you.”

“It’s not feasible. Being away from you. It hurts too much. It hurts you and it hurts me. I can’t do 

it. My heart breaks every time you leave.”

“I’ll do anything.” Tears fall from his eyes as he gulps.

“Moving here is not realistic for you, you were supposed to be here for way longer and look, you leave in three days. I don’t blame you. It’s everything you’ve worked for and I won’t be the person that holds you back.” She’s sobbing now, she can’t see him over her tears, she’s shaking and desperate to get him to listen. To keep him. 

“I’ll quit the band.” It comes tumbling out of her mouth before she can stop it. she grabs his face and makes him look at her. “I’ll quit.” He looks at her eyes wide. 

“No.”

“Julio, please.”

“You don’t mean that, you’ll resent me and you won’t be happy and it’ll ruin us.”

“I won’t. I promise.” She’d never heard these sounds come out of her body before, so guttural and painful from somewhere deep inside her. 

“You will. You would never ask me to quit acting, would you?”

“No,” she whines, the tears flowing.

“Then how could I ask you to quit your dreams?” He’s right. She knows he is and it fucking hurts. She wants to rip her heart out. She’s never felt pain like this and she wishes she could have never met him. 

That’s not true, the thought of never having him in her life hurts. No matter how painful this moment is, the realization that their relationship is over is, she would never take back the years she spent with him. He showed her what it meant to be loved. How it felt to be seen and wanted. He taught her selflessness in love. She would never take it back. She needs to numb the pain. 

She falls into his arms, her face on his chest as she cries and cries. He holds her like he never wants to let go and cries with her. God how she wishes she could live another life. How she wishes they could be other people. In another life, she thinks. In another life. 

He’s what she wants, but she’s not what he needs. Because she’s hurting him. She’s been hurting him and he can’t put up with it anymore. She’s not worth it.

She books her flight for that night. Not wanting to prolong their inevitable goodbye. She watches as he closes the door to his apartment. The last time she’ll be here. They hold hands on the way down to his car and then as he drives her to the airport where he kisses her for the last time. Kisses her goodbye. And she gets on the plane and cries all the way home. The flight attendant keeps bringing her water and the people around her are whispering. She closes the curtains around her pod. Her eyes focus on the sides of the window as the frost builds like little spider webs reaching out to her.

She loves him. She loves him. She can’t believe this.

+++

She gets to her house. Penny next to her. She sets her stuff down next to the door and collapses into a pile of skin, bone, and numbness. Her heart missing. Her heart was somewhere back in Spain with the boy he dragged her out of her isolation and brought her back to life. How could she ever be okay again?

She doesn’t leave her house or her bed until the day she has to be on a flight to Boston. She has about 100 missed calls and a billion unopened text messages. She doesn’t care to talk to anyone. Doesn’t want to explain the breakup. 

+++

She can feel herself isolating. To the way, things were before him. She’s in a room full of people and she feels the most alone she’s ever been. She waves everyone off, not giving them a second glance. She marches on stage, she plays the show with a missing heart. Pretending she’s okay. The band sees right through her, the fans don’t know better. 

Everyone is worried about her. Ash forces her to come out with the band and crew. She’s probably scared she’ll overdose if she’s on her own. All the telltale signs of how she used to be. They’re keeping an eye on her. 

She doesn’t feel like she’s in her body, she’s floating through life right now. She walks out onto the balcony, needing fresh air. 

Everyone’s dancing as she sits on the balcony and stares at the night sky. The wind makes goose bumps rise on her skin. She feels another tear try and escape her eye. She blinks it away before it can. She’s so tired of crying all the time. 

“Hey, you.” Topper steps out into the crisp air. 

“Hey,” she whispers, trying to cover that she’s been crying. 

“You okay?”

“No.”

“It’ll be okay. Sometimes love just doesn’t last. It happens and it’ll pass.”

“We didn’t break up because we didn’t love each other. If the distance didn’t exist I would still be with him. I would choose him over and over again but I was hurting him and in turn, I was hurting myself and neither of us expected or would accept the other quitting their dream jobs to move. So we’re done and it fucking hurts, Top. I saw forever with him. I haven’t felt that way about anyone ever. Part of me thinks that one day, when we’re both settled and not chasing the next best thing, we’ll be together.” She’s choking up, tears spilling over.

“Come here,” he opens his arms to her and she falls into them, “I’m here for you.” she looks over his shoulder to where Rafe is with their friends. 

“For now I just want to drink and cry and sleep for three weeks. I want the pain to stop. I don’t want to feel.” She pulls back from Topper, grabbing his arm and dragging him back inside. 

She would forget. At least for tonight.

+++

Her head pounds in the morning. She would blame all the crying she’s been doing but it’s mostly the alcohol. Cleo would kill her if she knew how much she was drinking again. She opens her eyes and looks around the half-lit room, the morning sun peeking through the curtains. The curtains are on the wrong side of the room. She looks around some more and notices clothes thrown on the floor. Men’s clothes. This isn’t her room. 

She remembers bits of the night before, kissing and touching in the elevator ride, the fight to find his room key, looking into his blue eyes and forgetting the name of the man with the brown eyes. At least for a moment. She blinks as if that would stop the headache.  

“Shit.” She hears from beside her. She slowly turns her head until her eyes meet the blue eyes staring back at her. 

“Top.”

“Fuck.”

#rafe cameron imagine #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x reader #rafe x reader #rafe obx #outerbanks au #rafe fanfiction #rafe fic #rafe outer banks #rafe imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron smau #kildaresplit au

[oversensitiveandoffputting]

I see my previous angst posts about the fear of Valentino chasing Angel out of the hotel and Angel and Husk having to tip-toe around each other and raise you a, “Valentino figures out that Angel has a huge crush on the bartender and he wants to remind Angel who that slut belongs to. He thinks he can waltz right into the hotel and pretend he’s interested in redemption and he’ll get access to Angel. Angel overhears Val enter and sees the crocodile tears before he furiously packs his shit up and books it through the back door, thinking Charlie will try to redeem him.

He doesn’t see Charlie furiously remind Valentino that she hasn’t forgotten how badly he abuses Angel and he can come back to redeem himself ONLY when he no longer has access to Angel because she doesn’t trust him to go back to his abusive ways. But it’s too late. Angel’s gone, scared, vulnerable, and feeling betrayed. Bonus points if he left Fat Nuggets behind with a little note requesting the pig get taken care of properly while he sleeps on the streets until he figures out new housing.

Double bonus points if not even Cherri can contact him.”

#angel dust #huskerdust #valentino #hazbin hotel

[icyblogs]

god bless u for the 141/fallout post i’ve been going feral thinking about a fallout au where simon is a pre-war ghoul who fought in the great war and still wears his power armor to hide that fact 🙏🙏 better yet even simon/reader fallout au where they were married before the bombs fell, and being a military wife she was lucky enough to get a space in a vault but ended up in cryo-freeze while he became a ghoul and they meet again 200 years later

Fallout!AU Ghoul!Simon “Ghost” Riley x fem!reader WC: 1.2K words Note: Hi anon! I had to do a little research about how exactly ghouls and cryo-freeze functioned, sorry for getting back to you so late! (does it still functionally make sense no but shh its fine) Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (:

Ghost who was already in the process of becoming a ghoul before the Great War! Already a renowned soldier; one of which was elected for a new experimental drug. For the sake of humanity he was told, after all, doing this will guarantee a spot in the vaults for him and his precious little wife! Doesn’t he want you to be safe? Though he might not have necessarily agreed with the means, don’t the rewards outweigh the consequences? Doesn’t he want to live out the rest of his days in peace with you? For a good vault- wanting the best for you. 

These tests, these experiments.. would end up taking a toll eventually. Too late for you to ever see of course. Well, by the time the great war actually starts, it’s far too late to see the effects of it at all. The experiments required him to stay on base- very seldom ever actually seeing you. “Just a few more weeks.” You were constantly told, and of course full heartedly you’d believe him. Why would he have any reason to lie? So when the first bomb drops.. And then the next. It was no surprise when you were forced to go into a vault without your husband, so scared. All alone without him. ):  

The experiments therefore spiraled, the results becoming null, nothing necessarily coming from them- too many variables being added. And with the radiation from all the bombs well.. He was no longer a ghost but a ghoul. 

He’d be similar to ‘The Ghoul’ in the show in my opinion! Fighting his way through the wasteland, killing, maiming- adapting. Becoming the monster that was always sort of lingering beneath the skin, going back to baser instincts. Everything he did was for his vows. For you. See, I'd imagine that he would wear a power-suit at first, especially when his skin starts to sort of stretch and shrivel, like a burn— eye sockets sinking, nose concaving. If he had found you, he didn’t want you to see what he was becoming; his humanity unraveling faster than he could keep the spool pulled taut. 

Though.. the first year passes. Then the first decade. A century. Two. 

Eventually time slows to a lull; without direction nor guidance. Always sort of be bordering on turning feral, one mishap away from just totally snapping. Enough for life itself to become a constant loop of just sort of.. apathy. Life wasn’t kind enough to people like him, never allowing anything good to stay in their lives. So why would it in this hellscape as well? Going through this so-called life like it was nothing more than a hindrance. Traveling through the land, taking on dead man’s jobs; not caring for the consequences at this point. Because what really was the point without you by his side? Never forming attachments, after all, why bother? He’d outlive them anyway.

Throughout the years, settlements pop up left and right- factions forming, most dying out faster than he could blink. These days, vaults come to the surface- trying to rebuild, kind to any poor soul or raider that they come across, like sheep walking right into the maws of a wolf. Then.. a new community sprouts up. 

Groups of thousands coming up to the surface, building a town- starting a new life. It really wasn’t anything new; Ghost had seen it and experienced it before. Would be a year or two at most of having a bed, having a steady access to food and drink- the meals always tasted like ash, if he thinks hard enough he might’ve remembered how your cooking tasted. He could blink and he was back in his home, watching you sway to some music on the radio, donned in a frilly apron, and you’d turn around and he could swear he could smell what you had in your hands. His imagination always ended up the same way; his eyes would eventually lead up to where your face was; blurry and being forgotten- he’d startle back to the reality at hand, mood darkening. 

So this new community. It wasn’t really a question of whether he was to make his way there, if not to stay for a brief moment of peace then to swindle them out of some supplies. Because at the end of the day they were vaulters. Nothing in the grand scheme of things: would probably die to some raiders anyway. They were always so eager to please, to see the good in people, and they were just so welcoming and hospitable. 

And then he saw.. you. 

The dreams, his imagination- the fog seemed to clear the moment he saw you again; even from a distance.. It was just how he had remembered you- his wife. You look like you haven't aged a day, donned in a blue clad jumpsuit. Simon watches with a dry mouth as you provide a kind smile to one of the people next to you, nodding your head as the pair of you attempt to cultivate the soil. He sees the way you jolt when the man’s hand brushes over your own as if he had shocked you- and his own eyes narrow at the sight, staring unblinkingly as if he might miss something. 

A mirage, it was easy to think. A trick of the light even- the radiation boiling his brain enough to fuck with his head, to give him some twisted hope about something that should not be possible. You.. should be dead. Long gone and yet- why were you in front of him? A phantom? Another way to mock him?

The more he looked he knew it was not the case. He could hear your voice- the cadence, all sounding just as how he's remembered it for the last eon. It made him wonder however- why were you smiling? Why.. were you laughing? He wasn’t with you- so why did you seem so happy then? 

There was something about a corpse yearning for someone full of life even still; for someone who was unburdened by centuries of an unforgiving and cruel world. He felt like Icarus, wanting to get closer; to see if he would melt if he got too close to the warmth. He’d be willing to burn if it meant that you were within reach again. His left hand felt heavy as he flexed it to try and release some tension, gold band digging into his skin. And with how sweet you looked, it only made his teeth ache and fingers twitch over the handle of his gun, longing to be with only you. Would your skin be as soft as he remembered? His throat felt dry, taking a step forward, aching to herd you back to where you belonged. Would your body still sing for him, even as your husband has turned into a monster, even as the stench of death and rot seems to follow him everywhere he goes? 

Would you still remember him? ..Did that matter at this point? He’s never been one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

After all, in sickness and in health, until death do us part. 

#simon ghost riley #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #Fallout!AU #Ghoul!Ghost #simon ghost riley x reader #dark fic #call of duty #cod #cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod mw2 x reader #x reader

[memoriesoftanalorr]

I'm the sickest person (Feyd Rautha x Female Reader)

Note: Hmm, I feel weird but my mind came up spontaneous short story once again. Gonna make it quite a little intimate, huh that's something new. But don't worry. I'm out of the character tonight. Lately listening to Lansdowne Falling down song and it's seems to suits to this guy or halfway. Wanna write angsty and soft Feyd. Sorry I didn't watched yet, actually I watched the beginning of Dune part two. Going to rewrite it later on. I think I'm mess up.

Summary: Y/n was an a Princess of House Vernius, the youngest in the family, as time come to nominate heir to the throne of her family, her cousin becoming princess and Y/n lost her rank and been exiled from her femily on forever. Later, Y/n was kidnapped by some of the people of House Harkonnen. She's faced Feyd Rautha Harkonnen. Y/n wasn't afraid of him and didn't cared of her fate much but Feyd decided to take you to his home planet. Perhaps he's was curious about you and later fall in love with you.

Warnings: Attempt of suicide, some little intimate moment but also fluff. I'm sorry guys.

-------

I could be an angel Live under the law Or party with the devil 'Til hell begins to thaw Come in like a lion And riot with my prey Or go out nice and quiet And try to run away

I can wear the brightest Smile ever seen Or I can terrify you Baring all my teeth I'm the sickest person That looks like I'm okay It changes with the weather Changes every day I don't know who I am

Falling down again Trying to get up From where I've always been But nothing's been enough To break through these clouds When I'm stuck on the ground Falling down again, down again Falling down again

I could be your best friend And keep your secret safe Or I can play pretend, and Be completely fake Do my best to be good And try to do what's right But the truth is that I'm ruthless And every word's a lie

Falling down again Trying to get up From where I've always been But nothing's been enough To break through these clouds When I'm stuck on the ground Falling down again, down again Falling down again

I could be an angel I could be an angel I could be an angel But I don't want to die

Falling down again Trying to get up From where I've always been But nothing's been enough To break through these clouds When I'm stuck on the ground Falling down again, down again Falling down again

---------

Y/n failed at her duties, she felt sorrow because she's an a disappointment for her family. Your father approaching you in the conference room. "You're not a heir of the throne, it's will be your cousin. You're such a disappointment and a shame for your family." he said. "But I tried so hard to make you proud of me. I'm sorry." you spoke quietly. "You'll never comeback here. Leave now." he said coldly. "Please let me stay! Don't leave me alone!" Tears flowing down your face. Your father walked towards the window. "Save your tears. You should've thought about it before you're made such a mistake." "But I love you but seems you're don't love me." you whispered.

Hour later you're packed your bags and leave the Residence, you noticed your cousin smiling evily. "I'm the Princess now and you're no one." she laughed at you. "I'm sick of you all!" Y/n pushed her cousin's shoulder while walking towards her. "Bye, bye. Nobody's gonna miss you." she insulted. Y/n clenched her fists in anger and pain. "I hate them all."

As you make your way off the planet, the ship was attacked by someone, you could see armoured people and bald tall man with a pale skin. "What are you doing?" you shouted to one of the Harkonnen soldiers who grabbed your arm and pushing you on the ground. "I'm from the Royal Family, how dare you!" Y/n shout out to them. "As I knew you're not anymore." A man made a wicked smile. You glanced at him shocked. "So this was a part of the plan? To sold me as slave?" Y/n thought. "From now on you're mine." Feyd Rautha spoke. "I'm don't belong to anyone! I'd rather die!" Y/n grabbed the knife from one of the Harkonnen people rapidly and cutting her own arm, blood began to flowing down on the ground. You began to feel yourself dizzy, everything blurred and you lost consciousness. Feyd caughted you from falling. "Get her a doctor." Feyd ordered to his people.

Some hours later, Y/n woke up in the bed and the surrounding was unknown to her, she blinked several times and then glanced at the man sitting at the edge of the bed. "Uhm, where I am and who are you?" you asked in a kow voice. "You're at planet Giedi Prime right now. My name is Feyd Rautha Harkonnen." he replied. "Oh, now I remember what happened… Why you're saved me? I don't want to live." Y/n turned away from him and covered herself into blanket crying. "I wondering if I am the reason of your attempt of suicide?" Feyd squeezed your hand gently. "How would you feel if your family throw you away as a worthless thing?" Y/n slipped her hand from his grip. "You're must be brave or either crazy for doing so. You're beautiful as well." he made a smug smile. Y/n glanced at her bandaged arm. "I didn't feel pain honestly. I was so mad so I didn't noticed that." you confessed. "I'm bet you felt adrenaline. You need a good rest now. See you Miss Y/n." he smiled. "How do you---?" you rises your head in surprise. "I know few things about you." Feyd answered and then leaves the room.

Giedi Prime was dark and gloomy planet and people there was cruel and menacing. Y/n didn't liked that planet much. Week later you arm recovered and Feyd checked on you. "How are you doing?" he asked you. "My arm recovered completely." Y/n replied awkwardly. "Good." Feyd squeezed your arm and kisses it. Y/n blushes. "You're will be one of my concubines." Feyd Rautha added. Y/n rubbed her arm awkwardly. "Me? Why?" "Don't worry, nobody's going to hurt you." Feyd assured you. You lowered your head and sighed. "Go on, I'll show you the Residence." Feyd Rautha squeezed your hand once more.

The other day Y/n joined the other concubines of Feyd and you're feeling yourself out of place. Their smiles were menacing and when they're noticed you, they're starting giggling. Then Y/n saw Feyd among them. Y/n falled on her knees over Feyd. "Why I'm here?" you whispers to him. "Why not? You're my concubine." he leaned closer to you for kissing your neck but you're closed your eyes uncomfortably. Feyd stopped himself and the others starting giggling again. "She's so blushing." One of concubines insulted you. "Stop gossiping about new girl." Feyd replied playfully. "Can I go to my room? I feel unwell, Na-Baron." Y/n lowered her head again. "You may. I'll visit you later then." Feyd Rautha replied a bit confused. Harpies laughs again. "Perhaps she's too young. Where's did you found her? She's ugly." "Shut up!" Feyd rised his voice furiously. You could hear his voice as you leave the room. Everyone get quiet in the room. "What make him do that? Why he's standing for me?" Y/n thought.

Y/n hides in the room and went to the balcony. You feeling yourself emotionally drained. You sighed sadly. "Why my life is so hard..."

Feyd entered inside your room and joined you at the balcony. "Enjoying the view huh?" he smiled. "I needed more personal space." Y/n replied coldly. "I apologize for my girls. Probably they're being jealous of you." he made a smug smile. "I have no doubt about it. So why you're here when you have so many girls to talk to." you insulted him. "Hmm, so you're the one who's jealous now?" Feyd glanced at you. "We're just meet, don't flatter yourself much." you responded. "You should be careful with your words." he leaned closer to you. "I don't care much." you sighed again. "Then what's the matter?" he asked. "Because I don't feel anything to you! Why you're standing for me back than?" Y/n said emotionally. "I do it because you're fearless, honest and beautiful. I respect you. I want you feel yourself safe here." Feyd reaching for your hand. "I'm not like that. I'm a failure and I am broken." you whispered. "I hope you'll overcome your grieving." Feyd comforted you. "I hope so." Y/n squeezed into his chest softly. Feyd kissed your forehead and then leaves the room. "Perhaps I feel something now." you whispers to yourself.

Week later, Feyd inviting you into training room, you were wondering if it's some kind of trick of his. "That's awesome. One of my father's sword masters trained me." Y/n spoke. "Want a sparring, darling?" Feyd asked. "Hmm, why not. I'm in." you replied. "Choose a weapon." Feyd Rautha suggested. Y/n hand reached her towards a rapier. And Feyd chooses Crysknife.

"Go on." You said with a cocky smile and stand in the position.

Rapier and Crysknife crossed each other and then Feyd ripped your sleeve, you stopped for a second watching your shoulder. "Hmm, you'll pay for this my dear Lord Na-Baron." Y/n make smug smile, Feyd was hypnotized by your smile and eyes for some seconds as you ripped his clothes over his chest. Your moves was gracious and smooth. "Look at your tunic, Feyd." Y/n laughted. "How dare you laughing at me!" Feyd pushed you against the wall and then kissed your in lips passionately as you dropped your rapier at the floor, you widened your eyes in surprise. After sometime Feyd stepped back from you. Y/n leaves the training room silently.

Day later. Baron Vladimir Harkonnen and Feyd have a talk and suddenly he asked his nephew about his new concubine. "Hmm, I think something is happened between you two, I am right?" he smirked. "I think she'll avoid talking to me for a while, uncle." Feyd replied. "Oh, Feyd. You know you should've be more delicate with such lady as Y/n. What you're done may I ask." Baron asked of curiosity. "I think she's will be mad at for a forceful kiss." Feyd replied. "Did she tried to push you away while your kiss her?" Baron smirked again. "No, she didn't. But she's leave the room without a word." Feyd Rautha replied honestly. "Then she likes the kiss. Perhaps I don't know her much. You should make a better impression this time." Baron made an advice to his nephew.

"I will apologize to her soon." Feyd then walked into his room.

Meanwhile, you hummed a song and standing at the balcony, that kiss was on your mind and you're trembling a bit and blushing everytime you're remembering it. Feyd entered your room and called you. "Y/n? Are you in the room?" Feyd asked. "Good morning, Feyd. I'm at the balcony." you answered calmly. "Did you eating today's morning? I didn't seen you in the dining room." he asked you. "I told the servant bringing the food in my room because I didn't sleep well last night so I just didn't feel like to go there." you replied. "Why? I thought you're mad at me for that kiss." he walked towards you. "I had a bad dream of my father." you lowered your head. "So tell me how you feel about that?" Feyd spoke. "It was a forceful kiss so I don't want anyone would forcing me this way. I hope you're understand but I'm not mad at you." Y/n rubbed her shoulder. "I'm sorry for that. As a sign of reconciliation, would you accept my gifts?" Feyd squeezed your hand. "Don't worry about that. You know nobody didn't kissed me before, perhaps our sparring was fun." Y/n giggled and embrace Feyd's neck with her arms. "I'm sorry for losing control. I can't get out your smile and your eyes off my head." he confessed. "Perhaps I'm thought a lot of that kiss as well." You bited your lips. "Take a look at my gifts if you want to." he kissed your hand. You looked at the bed and there was a beautiful purple dress and a black pendant. Y/n also saw a rapier and the handle was inlaid with precious gem stones. "Your gifts are lovely. Thank you. Should I wear this dress tonight?" you said playfully. "You can wear it at the dinner and my uncle will be there too." Feyd suggested. "I guess it'll be boring political talking huh?" Y/n jokes. "I think this dinner will be not as boring if you're come with me." he kissed your cheek. "Okay, I'll come then." Y/n made a flirty smile.

Time skip Y/n calmly approaching Feyd and his uncle wearing beautiful dress and necklace, it was like a private dinner of uncle and nephew and you. "Good evening, Baron." Y/n kissed his hand, perhaps you wasn't sure how to greeting him, either bow and kissing the end of his clothes. "What a nice young lady!" Baron chuckles. "Goid evening, my dear Lord Na-Baron Feyd Rautha." you greeted Feyd as well. "The nicest of evenings, darling." he kisses your hand. "Now, have some good dinner and after that I should talk to you both." Baron spoke.

You sat at the table next to Feyd, slaves bringing food and cutlery and then leave. You and Feyd didn't talking though you both making eye contact and you making mysterious smiles to him and then eating and drinking.

When you're finishing your meal Baron stared at you. "Can I ask you some personal questions, my dear?" Baron asked you. "I'm ready for it." Y/n glanced at Feyd's uncle. "You're from House Vernius, right? Are you from planet IX or maybe another planet?" he smirked. "I'm Ixian. I'm not belong to House Vernius anymore." you answered. "Hmm, did you know that your father wanted to sold you in a slavery?" Baron said carelessly. You rises your head in shock, "I had my suspicions about this." Feyd glanced at you concerned. "Did you know that? Why don't you telling me that before, Feyd?" Y/n asked him emotionally. "I am the only one who knows that, dear. Don't be mad." Baron smiles menacingly. "I have no doubts about that." Y/n said biterrly. "I swear I didn't know anything about that." Feyd spoke to you. "But you know something about me, right? You said it yourself." Your voice burns into passsive aggressive tone. "I only knew your name and where you from at the time." Feyd Rautha expressed. "Excuse me, Baron. I need to go now." Y/n said coldly. "You can go." he replied. Feyd stand up and leave the dining room after you. "Excuse my uncle. I didn't know thet he would--" Feyd paused. "Hurting me… He succeed in this but I'm not going to cry." Y/n turned away from Feyd. "I'm sorry about that, darling." Feyd embrace your back. "I don't trust your uncle but I trust you." Y/n replied. "Can I lead you to your room or maybe you would like to join me in my room tonight?" he smiled. "I'll join you soon." you kissed his lips and then walked away waving to him and giving him a quick glance back.

Y/n wearing a cloak and nightgown as she's sneaking into Feyd's room. He was sitting at the couch, you greeted him. Y/n take off her cloak and sitting down next to Feyd. "This dinner wasn't as I imagined. I hope your uncle had a reason to insulting me like that." you lowered your head. "I didn't expected that either." Feyd replied. "I don't care much anymore." you closed your eyes. "You're will fall asleep now, why you're chosen a couch when I have a bed for two?" he made a flirtly smile. Y/n rised her head blushing. "I'd rather choose a couch." "Too coward to share a bed with me huh?" Feyd made a smug smile. "I'm not a coward, I'm actually too tired for arguing or proof you wrong." you yawned. "Proof me wrong." he smiled again. "I don't want to see nightmares again or wake you up. I'd rather stay up all night." you confessed. "When you're rising your head, it's a sign of that something is shocking or surprising you. When you're lowering your head you're shy or uncomfortable, right? You can be safe with me." Feyd leaned closer towards you. "It's hard for me letting someone in because my life is tough." you glanced at him. "You're my only love. I promise you." he whispers to you. "Glad to hear that. I want to believe in that at least." Y/n closed her as she smiled. Y/n laid into the bed and covered herself into a blanket, Feyd take off his clothes and laid into the bed after you. "Good night, darling." he kissed your neck. "Good night, Feyd." Y/n yawned and instinctively cuddling into his shoulder and fall asleep.

You haven't nightmares this time, when you wake up in the morning you saw Feyd laying next to you. "Good morning, darling." Feyd kissed your cheek. "Good morning, Feyd." you giggled. "How do you sleep?" he asked. "Deeply and serenely." Y/n dress up and about to leave the room. "I'll join you at the breakfast soon." Feyd spoke. "Sounds great. I'll waiting for you to come." Y/n glanced back at Feyd a bit and closed the door.

After breakfast Baron approaching you. You take a deep breath and make a slight bowing. "Hello, my dear. I apologizing for my behavior but you're should've known that." he spoke. "But still why you're should make such a masquerade?" you crossed your arms. "I'm sorry, dear. But I wanted to try to grow the doubt in your heart. I checked whether I could manipulate you, or rather your confidence in my nephew, and I lost this game because you didn’t believed me. You know what's what." Baron smirked. "I think Feyd said the truth to me last night. Tell me more about my father's plan." Y/n lowered her head. "Your father once meet with me and decided to sold you as a slave to our family. When Feyd and our soldiers found you they're just patrolling. Feyd didn't know details." "Thank you for letting me know, Baron." you made a little bowing once more. "How do you find Giedi Prime?" Baron asked. "Kind of different from the planet I lived." Y/n rubbed her arm. "You know, girl. I'm on your side. Would you like to be one of House Harkonnen?" Baron made a cocky smile. "You meant marriage?" Y/n rised her head. "That's right, clever girl!" Baron chuckled. "I think it's not up to me and it's rather up to Feyd. I'll think about it anyway." you answered. "Of course. Now I should go." he finished the conversation.

Time skip "Is this Lady Fenring wants to seduce you or something, Feyd?" you spoke to him. "Don't worry, you're my only true love." Feyd assured you. "Thanks but I'm meant something completely different. She's one of Bene Gesserit. I wondering what's on her mind." Y/n embraced his neck and made a slight laughter. "I don't care actually." Feyd Rautha looking into your eyes. "I must admit that she's beautiful." Y/n sighed. "I don't need Lady Fenring when I have you. Your eyes and smile the most beautiful." Feyd kissed your hand. "Thank you." you squeezed into his chest for comfort. "Let me tell you something." He whispered with a smile. "What is it?" Y/n asked curiously. "I'm gonna fight at at the arena in few days. Would you come there?" he asked. "Oh, yes. I do remember, it's that your birthday. Your uncle invited me and he said I'll get the best view on arena." you said thoughtfully. Feyd made a smug smile and kisses your forehead. "That's all what you wanted to tell me?" Y/n guesses. "It'll wait for a while." he replied. Some days later Y/n joined Baron, everyone screaming Feyd's name and you watching him walking inside the arena. "I hope you're don't find it really cruel, Miss Y/n?" Baron smirked. "I'm come here to see Feyd in action, well I'm think I'm get used to that." You make a small smile. "Good to hear that." Baron nodded. Y/n watched Feyd carefully and then you get distracted by Baron a bit. "Did you thought about our last little talking, dear?" Baron made a cocky smile. "Not yet." Y/n confessed. "Hmm, I see." Baron said unemotionally. "Can we talk about that later?" you get uncomfortable. You watching Feyd a bit longer and then rushed away from the loud noises and once again you feeling yourself emotionally drained. As you catches your breath, you could feel someone standing behind you, it was Lady Fenring. "I see you're don't like noisy and cruel action, don't you? Deep breathing helps you to calm down." she said calmly. "I'm perfectly fine, Lady Fenring." you glanced at her. "I'm not recommend you to lie to me because I can read your reactions." Lady Fenring made a small smile. "Perhaps, I'm not okay." Y/n confesses. "You're Feyd's favorite concubine, right? I think you're a bit young for a concubine." she spoke. "I'm not that young. And you're Bene Gesserit…" you insulted back awkwardly. "How funny you're trying to insulting me but I'm just said what I'm thinking." she adores you. "That's all what you're wanted to say to me? Then I'm leaving." you looked away. "Perhaps Feyd's concubine didn't like me because Feyd Rautha showing more attention to me?" she guessed. "No, it's not like that! I just want to know your true intentions about Feyd." you rises your voice. "How sweet that you're protective of your Lord Na-Baron." Fenring teased. "You'll don't understand how I feel." you bited your lips nervously. "No, it's seems that you're the one who don't understand things. He's a psychopath and you saw his true nature today." Lady Fenring touched your shoulder. "He's different with me. Feyd can be a better person." you whispered.

Lady Fenring glanced at you thoughtfully. "You thinking that Feyd Rautha can be redeemed?" "I want to believe in that." Y/n lowered her head. "Now I have faith in you. I think I'll tell you why I'm here but not now. We're not enemies, dear." she made a soft smile. "I'm sorry for being harshly on you Lady Fenring." you nodded. "It's okay. Bye for now." she smiles.

Y/n leaves the arena among other people. You meet with Feyd some minutes later. "Congratulations on your victory, Feyd." Y/n playfully attacked him from the back. Feyd looked back at you as you embrace him. "Thank you, darling." he made a smug smile. "You had some great moves." Y/n giggles. "Some say that you're talked with Lady Fenring. Do you become friends huh?" Feyd asked. "In short she's helped me with my panic attack and she thought that I'm jealous of the fact that..." you paused. "And what you're replied to her?" Feyd made a cocky smile. "You know I'm not a jealous type." Y/n winked playfully. "Uhm, what a liar you are." Feyd touched your face gently. "How do you say." Y/n touches Feyd's hand.

At night you had a nightmare, you tossed and turning in your bed. In your dream you saw Baron and Rabban standing in front of you smiling wickedly. "Execute her!" Baron said menacingly. Soldiers pushed you at the ground. "Please don't!" Y/n pleads.

"No one will think that someone killed her, we can say that it was suicide because she already tried to commit suicide." One of the soldiers chuckled. "Right." Baron laughed ominously. Tears runned down your face. "I'll do whatever you tell me, just leave me alive, please." you began to tremble. "It's too late for that, you should have thought when you made that mistake." Baron said. "No! Feyd! Help me!" Y/n called Feyd Rautha for help. You finally saw Feyd, he took the rapier and stabbed it into your heart. "Goodbye, darling." Feyd made a evil and terrifying smile. Y/n screamed in pain and blood flashes on the ground. When you woke up, you gasped in shock and sat in your bed, your heart beating rapidly, you started crying.

Feyd rushed into your room concerned. "Do you have a panic attack or it's was a bad dream?" You still sobbed and cuddles into him. "Don't leave me alone please." "I'm right here, darling." He gave you a kiss on a forehead. "I had a terrible nightmare." you confessed. "It's just a bad dream." Feyd assured you. "Yeah, right. That's really stupid." Y/n hide her face with her hands. "Do you need a doctor or anything?" he asked. "I'm alright now. Thank you." Y/n laid her head into Feyd's shoulder. "I wanted to tell you something back than." He spoke. "Yeah." you nodded. "More correctly I want to ask you one thing." Feyd started. "I'm listening." you replied. "Would you marry me?" He looked into your eyes. "Yes, but when I'll be ready for it. I hope you're understand that. I didn't tell you it before but I love you." Y/n cuddled into his chest. "I love you too." He kissed you cheek.

Y/n then looked away. "To be honest, your uncle hints about marriage several times when he's talked to me."

"I see. Should I stay?" He touched your face.

"Can you stay for a bit? Let's get outside the balcony and talk." You squeezes his hands. He made a small smile and nodded to you.

Time skip Lady Fenring visits you secretly. "Let's talk about the things then." "Why Bene Gesserit sends you here?" "I was send here to secure the bloodline of prospective Kwisatz Haderach." she spoke. "You mean Feyd but how it possible that he is-?" you paused. "It's really a long story. Do you have a great patience for listening the whole explanations of the terms, dear?" Lady Fenring asked. "Tell me more please." Y/n pleads. "I see. So listen carefully." she smiled. You both talked for hours and then Lady Fenring was the one who's asking you several questions. "Something in you make me believe that Feyd Rautha can be redeemed. But what make you believe in it?" "It's not a big deal I guess. But when we're first met, I cutted veins on my arm and I could die but he's saved me though he could have his own plans about me." you lowered you head holding your arm remembering everything. "Hmm." Lady Fenring said thoughtfully. "What? What your Bene Gesserit training telling you about that?" Y/n curiously asked. "That you love him. I think you're able to redeem him. But we're will be watching you two." Lady Fenring made a soft smile. Y/n get a deep breath. "Sometimes I'm scared and I want to go back home but I can't go back." "I think there's nothing you should be scared of because you're brave and strong enough and after all, I'll be around to help you."

"Thank you." Y/n made a sincere smile.

Padishah Emperor arrives at Arrakis while Paul killed Baron and Rabban was killed as well. Y/n was worried about what going to happen next. "Feyd, I'm scared." you whispered. "Be strong darling." he squeezes your hand. Lady Fenring was around and watched you. Paul challenges Shaddam for the throne and, to Chani's dismay, demands Irulan's hand in marriage. Shaddam admits his involvement in the destruction of House Atreides. Feyd and Paul began the duel, Y/n watched them nervously. Lady Fenring comforts you by laying her hand on your shoulder. Paul wounded Feyd and he falls on the ground bleeding. "No!" Y/n screams. "I'm sorry, dear but nothing we can do, we can't get involved into duel." Lady Fenring hugged you. "No I can. Who's come up this stupid rules? I'm not going to lose a person that I love!" Y/n slipped from her embrace and rushed down next to Feyd before Paul's last fatal move. "No, wait! Paul Atreides!" you stopped Paul as he was confused. "Who are you and how you're dare to get involved to our duel?" he asked. "I'm from House Vernius, our fathers are allies. Please do me a favor." you looked at Paul and then at Feyd. "But why you're with Harkonnens?" Paul asked. "My father sold me as a slave to Harkonnens." you confessed. "But you're must be Feyd's concubine, right?" Paul corrected. "That's right. Just tell me what I can do to save Feyd's life and my own too?" "Surrender to me, kneeling before me and kiss my ring." Paul ordered. "I'll do it. But save Feyd." Y/n kneel before Paul. "I believe you." Atreides showing mercy to you. "Thank you." Y/n bowing. Some of Sardaukar troops carries Feyd Rautha and bandaged his wounds. Lady Fenring standing next to you. "You must be fearless but you should be careful next time." "Yes I know I made a risky move but all I wanted to save him. I think I'm going to faint if I'm not get a nap." you confessed. "Great job anyway." she made a soft smile.

Lady Fenring lead you and help you find a place where you can rest.

"Why you let that Harkonnen live?" Chani asked Paul. "Because she's loves him, don't you see it? But I'm gonna to watch over him, if he'll going to betray me, they're both will be dead." Paul replied. "That's wise and merciful from you side." she replied. Hour later Y/n visited Feyd Rautha, he was still unconscious, you glanced at his face and sighed. Chani come to you. You were a bit surprised by that. "Paul going to talk to you and him later." she said coldly. "I should've guess that." Y/n lowered her head. "How can you love Harkonnen? He's a monster." Chani asked in a rude manner. "Perhaps love can change a person." Y/n replied peacefully. "That's wise words. I respect your bravery." Chani softened. "How your name?" Y/n asked but she don't know the Fremen traditions so it could be awkward. "My name is Chani." she spoke. "My name is Y/n." you replied. "I should go now." Chani walked away. Y/n squeezed Feyd's hand and laid her head into his shoulder.

Hour later. You could feel Feyd's heartbeat and his voice again. "Y/n…" Feyd spoke in low voice. "Oh, Feyd! I glad you're alive!" Y/n giving him a kiss on the forehead. "Glad to see you again too." Feyd made a small smile. "Don't flatter yourself too much, cousin. You're alive only because I'm wished so." Paul approached both of you. "I didn't expect that my cousin would deign to visit me." Feyd replied bitterly. "Feyd, no need to." Y/n glanced at Paul. "Can you leave us for a while?" Paul asked. "Sure." you nodded. "What do you want?" Feyd asked. "Do you know that she saved your life? You're must be going to become next Baron but I'll warning you that you both will be dead if you're going to betray me." Paul said coldly. "I see, cousin." Feyd replied. "Tell me a bit about your concubine." Paul demanded. "She lost her rank and family. She's kind, brave and beautiful. Once she cutted her arm and I ordered my people to save her life." Feyd responses. "Y/n is no doubt is fearless. I see your feeling is true." Paul nodded. "Are you surprised by this, cousin?" Feyd mocked. "Kind of." Paul then leaves the room. Paul talked to you as well. Some days later Feyd recovered and you both returned to Giedi Prime and get married there snd then you both visiting planet IX at honeymoon. Y/n don't care about if reunion with her family going to be bitter but she was wrong. When Feyd arrived with you at the planet, your father and cousin noticed you. "Is that you?" Your father asked. "I know what you're going to say but I wanted to go back." you replied. To you surprise your father hugged you. "I'm so sorry. I hope you're forgive me for what I'm done and said to you." "It's okay. I believe in second chances." you hugged you father back. "I'm sorry too." your cousin spoke. "By the way meet my husband Baron Feyd Rautha Harkonnen." You said proudly. "I'm glad I met your daughter." Feyd spoke. "Baron?" Your father asked confused.

Feyd glanced at you as you laughted. "Don't you know anything? I'll tell you everything."

#It seems I never learn how to add more details #asexual vibes #feyd rautha harkonnen #feyd rautha x reader #dune part two #x female reader #x reader fanfiction #x reader fluff #x reader fic #female reader #fem reader #lady fenring

[knavesflames]

“Promise”

Just a little thing about Clervie and Arlecchino that lowkey apart my heart thinking about it. Again, very sorry if this is not good!! Am new to writing things down other than in my notes sooo bear with me as I get better pls 😩

Contents: angst, the tiniest mention of self harm. It isn’t graphic, it is mentioned in passing only once, and very vaguely, but thought I’d put a TW anyway🥰

Word count: 2453

Writing under the cut!!:D

At age 9,

Peruere sits in the garden, holding the small box. The lid is open as she places a small lumidouce bell next to the spider. The lumidouce bell will die and wilt underground, but at least the spider won’t be lonely, she thinks.

“Peruere!”

The loud childish voices rings out in the garden once again. A sigh leaves Peruere’s lips. She isn’t in the mood to talk to the person she secretly calls sunshine. Looking down at the splayed out body of her pet spider, her lip quivers. Once, twice, before a tear falls onto the wood of the makeshift coffin. The dread rising in her as she sees her hands changing doesn’t go unnoticed, but she pushes it down. ‘What is that? Why am I changing?’

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sunshine once again, the voice now muffled with chewing.

“I brought cake. Want some?”

Peruere’s now charcoal hands take the cake, pausing as the sunshine (or Clervie, but Peruere prefers sunshine) takes it from her hands and places it on a leaf in front of the small grave.

“You must know spiders don’t eat cake.”

“Yeah, I know! They can’t eat cake here, but in spider world they can.”

Her voice is almost irritating to Peruere, who is only trying to be angsty and sad. But how can she be sad when the sunshine is right there?

“Clervie, I want to sit in silence.”

Clervie can’t help her eyebrows furrowing before she sits down with a small thud.

“I’ll sit with you, then.”

Peruere sighs as her eyes, eyes that are unlike any others in the house of the hearth, glance towards the sunshine. She doesn’t persist. Secretly, she’s glad for the company. Clervie smiles back as she plays with the small patch of lumidouce bells.

“I don’t care that you’re different. I think you’re cool.”

Her eyes narrow, eyebrows furrowing before she responds.

“Why? I’m completely different from you.”

“I like that. Even our teddies are different. I think everyone being the same is boring. They won’t be the king because they are all the same. You will be king one day, Peruere. Can I sit with you when you are?”

Peruere feels just a small amount of dread at those words. The words that remind her that one day, she indeed, will have to do what Mother says and fight to be king. Something is off about Mother, she thinks. She is too kind, too caring. She doesn’t like it. Not just because she doesn’t deserve it (that’s what she tells herself in the mirror before she sleeps), but because Clervie, the sunshine, is falling for it. In that moment, she makes a silent vow to protect the sunshine always, even if it is cloudy.

“We can be king together.”

“Do you promise? I don’t want to be left behind.”

“I promise.”

At age 11,

Peruere and Clervie, the sunshine and the moon, sit in a deserted part of the house of the hearth. Their favourite part is the room with the wide window, where they sit and stare at the sky, talking about their dreams. Or rather, Clervie talks, Peruere listens. Though this time, the roles seem to be reversed. Next to them, a tray of medical instruments. Scissors, bandages, gauze, disinfectant. Peruere sits, her blackened, gentle but clumsy hands tying a bow on one of the bandages. The look on Clervie, I mean, the sunshine’s, face was much brighter than ten minutes ago. This is the first of many times, unbeknownst to them. Peruere speaks softly.

“What happened? Your wrists looked like they got hurt.”

“Nothing, Peruere.”

Alarm bells ring in Peruere’s head. Clervie was never this closed off, not with her.

“Did you do this to yourself? Like Céline? She got upset at herself so she hurt herself. I don’t like that, tell me you didn’t do that. It’s dangerous, Clervie.”

Her eyes, shining black, filled with worry. Her hand grabs the sunshine’s, giving it a little squeeze, encouraging her to talk.

“No, that isn’t it. I argued. With Mother. I don’t want to fight everyone to be king. I want to be friends with everyone, I want to eat bulle fruit with everyone. Why do we have to fight?”

“I do not like it either. I want to run away sometimes. Do Mothers always argue with their daughters?”

“I don’t know.”

Clervie’s hands, still trembling from the adrenaline, push open the window. They stare at the stars for a while, before her voice rings out once more, soft, quiet, always optimistic.

“I heard that in Snezhnaya, coloured lights dance in the sky at night. When we grow up, shall we go see it together?”

Peruere wonders if they’ll ever go and see it, or if it’s just another empty promise. Just like how Mother promised her spider wouldn’t die, how the fish she caught wouldn’t be eaten.

“You promise?”

“I promise.”

At age 13,

The sun shines. Both the actual sun, and Clervie, Peruere thinks. Her fingers are splayed out on the picnic blanket, the wet paint on her nails shining in the light when her fingers twitch. Painted black, like her skin on her arms, and red, the colour of the lipstick they stole from Mother a few weeks ago, the colour of Clervie’s hair. She makes a noise of satisfaction, secretly looking at Clervie through her fingers. It looks like she’s looking through prison bars, she thinks. But Clervie is the sun. If anyone should be in prison, it’s her, not Clervie. She doesn’t like the way she thinks about Mother, but Mother harms the sunshine. Her sunshine. Her eyes widen, just slightly as she realises that maybe feeling so warm and fuzzy inside whenever she sees Clervie isn’t exactly a usual way to think of people. She doesn’t feel that for anyone else. She stares a bit longer. How the red of Clervie’s hair reminds her of the burning sun. Of the fire in the lounge of the house of the hearth. Fire is good, she thinks. She could protect her sunshine with fire. In a split decision, she takes the red nail polish in one hand, a strand of her white hair in the other. Snow and blood. Blood on snow. Those colours seem to be awfully present in her life as of late, and her heart begins to twist as she thinks of what it means for her future. Before she can think any harder, Clervie’s giggle cuts through her thoughts.

“What are you doing, silly?”

Red paints on the snow coloured hair.

“I’m like you now. I have red hair. That way, we will stay friends forever.”

“I like you too much to leave you, silly. It looks good with your hair. The red. You should paint it every day, and that way, you can—“

Words are cut off by clumsy lips meeting clumsy lips. Only for a second, a second that feels forever. Peruere’s cheeks flush the colour of the painted strand as she mumbles apologetic words.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to, I-“

“It’s okay. I liked it. I want to do it more. You should still keep the red strand. Promise you will?”

“Yes, I promise.”

At age 16,

Mother has been increasingly cruel, to both her and Clervie. Especially to Clervie. How could someone be so evil to someone so kind is something Peruere cannot fathom. She despises seeing Clervie cry, to hear her quiet sobs at night. Her eyes are always bright, always happy. If not for her own sake, for Peruere’s. But the sun has been hiding lately, hiding behind clouds and avoiding words. The red strand of Peruere’s hair, once painted every day with nail polish to match Clervie’s, now permanently dyed, retouched every eight weeks, hidden under most of her hair to avoid Mother’s wrath. And now? They stand in the field, Clervie, facing Peruere with resigned eyes.

“You know it’s the only way. Mother will kill us both if you are not king. Have you not noticed the children disappearing?”

“I have. It does not mean your life has to end. You cannot take your life—“

“No. That will not satisfy Mother, and you know that. You must do it.”

Hate, fear, dread and sadness twist Peruere’s gut so hard she feels as if she will throw up. She fight the urge to retch at the very suggestion that she dulls the sunshine she has grown to adore so.

“I cannot. I will not. You cannot ask me to do something like that.”

“You must.”

She hates that Clervie is right. She hates that Mother is so twisted and sick that this is the only choice. She begs anyway, something she told herself she would never do.

“Please. We were supposed to go to Snezhnaya together. To see the coloured lights in the sky. There is no ‘we’ without you.”

A chuckle is heard, the familiar chuckle that lights up Peruere’s heart, the chuckle that feels like it’ll reverse her curse entirely. She can’t deny the sadness she hears in it though, especially not when she sees a tear slip down Clervie’s face. The sight brings tears to her own eyes and she looks away, unable to stare at her any longer. The longer she stares, the harder it will be. She knows this, but her eyes move back to her anyway.

“You will look at the coloured lights, and you can trust I will be there in them.”

“No! This is not fair.”

“You know I’m right, Peruere.”

“And I hate that you are. You’re always damn right. Stop that.”

Another chuckle is heard behind tears.

“I plan to.”

“Don’t joke.”

“I’m sorry. And I’m sorry you have to do this.”

Peruere feels like her breath is being sucked out of her, like she can’t inhale enough and yet, exhaling is impossible. Her brain is telling her she has to. She has to give the sunshine a merciful end, lest Mother give her a far worse fate. But her heart is screaming. Tears drip down her face, her body wracked with silent cries. Her hand goes to the hilt of the dagger she always carries.

“But I love you. You are my sunshine.”

“I love you, too. And so I will always be here when the sun is shining. I am not afraid.”

“I am.”

Peruere is not one to be scared. She never has. But now, her hands are clammy, she feels a sweat gathering. She feels her heart thumping in a completely different way than when they share small kisses and giggles. She feels like she’s killing herself instead of her love. The dagger is unsheathed now, the blade glinting with every tremble of her hand. Oh, God, there it is again. That smile, the one that melts Peruere every time. Images flash in her mind of every time she bandages Clervie after an argument with Mother. Images of what could happen should Mother take Clervie’s life into her own hands, and before she can think twice, the dagger has pierced her skin. Clervie’s clothes are staining with blood as red as her hair.

“No. No, no— please. Clervie, you can’t. Why did you tell me to do this?”

Red ‘X’ irises stare into blue ones. A beautiful bluey green, one that Peruere has always admired. Has always adored looking into. Not now. Not while she watches the life drain from her eyes. Watching the sun burn.

“You will make a great king.”

“Stop that.”

Anger boils inside Peruere, anger like she has never felt before. She swears she will kill anyone who threatens to hurt the ones she cares about. She won’t let this happen again.

“I’m sorry. Thank you.”

Clervie’s soft words fill her ears for the final time before her body drops to the floor with a thunk. Peruere stares down at her, anger filling her so greatly, she becomes blank. She decides she will never feel again. She will never love again. The sun was a star, but the sun has burned and died.

“Do you promise you will be with me in Snezhnaya? Promise?”

“..Clervie?”

She is met with only silence, and the sound of the lumidouce bells waving in the wind.

At age 28,

Arlecchino walks through the halls of the House of the Hearth, watching stoically as the children play, as they watch the two children perform their magic show. She calls out, her voice strict, unfeeling.

“Meet in the dining hall when you are finished. Dinner is served shortly.”

Met with a chorus of “Yes Father”, she nods, satisfied, before turning away. Her heels click against the tiled floor as she walks through the halls, her hair flowing in her ponytail behind her. She takes the long route, avoiding the west wing of bedrooms, something she has avoided for many years. Her footfalls come to a stop as the sun hits her as it shines through the window. She feels a tug at her heart, and she clenches her fists tightly before sighing, turning quickly on her heel. She walks with purpose, walking past the many bedrooms until she slows, coming to a stop in front of the bedroom door she has kept locked. The ring of keys in her pocket makes a sound as she pulls them out, and she listens to the way they jingle as she unlocks the door and slips inside. She blinks back heartache as she stares around at the room. It has been well preserved, it looks like it’s still very much lived in by a sixteen year old girl. She goes about, dusting the surfaces in silence, cleaning up any signs that it hasn’t been touched in such a long time. She opens the window, watering the lumidouce bells that sit on the windowsill outside. She stops by the bed, where two teddies sit— one pink with a white ribbon, one black and white with red ‘X’s for eyes. Her hand, now black with darker patterns all over from how far the curse has advanced, softly pets the pink one, swallowing down a shaky breath. Her nails, painted red and black, like they always have been, gives a gentle scratch under the chin.

“Good morning, Clervie. The children are doing well today.”

Her hand slides into her pocket, pulling out a small, gift wrapped box, placing it by the teddy.

“Happy birthday. I told you I would not forget. The sun is shining brightly, and the colours in the sky at night have been vivid lately. You would have found them beautiful, I am sure. I would have loved to look at you as you stared at them in wonder.”

The birthday gift joins another 11 on the bed, each one in different phases of aging. She stands again, smoothing down the bedsheets before placing a small kiss on the pink teddy.

“See you next year, Clervie. I promise.”

#arlecchino hc #arlecchino genshin #arlebina #arlechinno genshin #arlechinno x reader #arlefuri #genshin impact #arle #genshin smut #genshin wlw #genshin x reader #genshin fanfic #clervie #peruere #arlecchino smut #genshin impact arlecchino #arlecchino #genshin imagines

[tiredfox64]

Hello! I came up with an idea for an application.

So, Tomas with a reader who is usually very arrogant and self-centered, so they don't get along very well within Shirai Ryu. But then one day, in a moment of vulnerability, they both have a one night stand and then they went back to normal as if nothing had happened, but since then, Tomas starts having feelings and he is not sure if the reader feels the same way about him. him, but in the end he decides to confess it.

It's quite long, sorry 😞 you can ignore it if you don't like the idea. And sorry if there are mistakes here, English is not my first language.

Thank you! 💕

We Need to Talk About This

Prior notes: There is no need to apologize! No idea is a bad idea unless you are my friend who somehow isn’t in jail.

Pairing: Tomas x Gn reader

Warnings ‼️: it’s a desert over here

Constant bickering between you and Tomas. It never ends. Ever since the first day you joined the Shirai Ryu you’ve gotten on his nerves. The way you would speak so high you of your skills, putting others down just to bring yourself up. Don’t even get him started on how you would leave anybody behind just to save your own ass. This is a clan, you’re supposed to work together.

As much as he judges you, you judge him back. You judge him for caring too much. He was a hunter and an assassin. This is life or death you are talking about and you have to save yourself. You also have to let others know your strength to prevent anyone from messing with you. It’s the way life goes.

You two just can’t agree on anything. But do you know when you’re both able to meet in the middle? When you guys share a bottle of Sake.

Yes and I mean the good kind. The kind that makes you all flushed. The kind that makes you all touchy and call Tomas cute. Makes you do a little strip tease and open your legs wide. The kind of sake that makes Tomas scoop you up and take you right to his bed.

No one could sleep that night. It was the combination of your moans about how good he is at this and Tomas fucking into you roughly that the headboard kept banging against the wall.

That’s what alcohol does, it leaves you vulnerable to anyone. In that moment you were vulnerable to each other. A moment where you welcomed someone’s embrace and let your walls down. Only to wake up with a killer headache and a huge shock.

You were surprised by many things. You weren’t in your bed, your clothes were on the floor, and Tomas was passed out next to you. Soon after Tomas woke up himself and stared at you in shock. He would have asked the same questions you had in your head but he put all the pieces together.

It left you both stunned and sitting there, questioning is there was something hidden under the surface that made you two think this was a good idea. After about five minutes you silently got up and started to put your clothes on. Tomas wanted to say something but it felt like his mouth dried up. You managed to put your clothes and started to walk towards the door. You took one last look at him.

“Let’s just pretend this never happened. The sake was talking for us.” You walked out.

══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══

Tomas couldn’t pretend that the one night stand never happened. Even if he was drunk he remembers some parts of it so clearly.

He can remember how your arrogant and self-centered personality was gone in that moment. How sweet your voice was as you praised him. That look in your eyes could make him think you actually liked him. Like you two were secret lovers this whole time.

But when the morning came he questioned what was the alcohol and what was true. All he knows now is that feelings are true. He wants to see that sweet side of you again.

Now your attitude was worse when it came to everybody else. Everybody knows what happened that night and you want them all to forget as well. During training your arrogance is loud and proud. You’re telling everyone ‘looks like I’m the best and you’re the worst’ which pisses them off.

Someone fell in front of you and instead of helping them up you kicked dirt in their face and walked off. Usually you just laugh at them but kicking dirt in their face was something else. Your actions were really upsetting everyone to the point that Kuai Liang put you on a sort of suspension. No more missions or training until you learn to act right. Or at least a little better.

The only person you were acting better with was Tomas. He would still come up to you to scold you for insulting others. Every time you would look at him he saw a flash of that softness reappear in your eyes before going back to normal.

You started to struggle talking your usual shit to him. Your insults were weak. You couldn’t even say you were better than him without remembering that one night stand. That memory would flash in your head and you’d remember how good and warm he made you feel. Not in just a sexual way but in an intimate, romantic way. You can’t let anyone know that however. They’ll all think you’re weak.

You still hid your feelings well since Tomas questioned if you really felt anything from that night. He was still annoyed with you because you wouldn’t give him a hint on how you felt. You were acting strange but that’s all he knew. He doesn’t doubt that there are people out there who can have a one night stand and walk away without feeling some sort of connection. But after doing it with you and seeing how you are when all loose he believes you’re not one of them.

If somehow you are one of those people, he knows that he isn’t. He felt a connection that night and it can’t be the alcohol talking still. He has to let it out. He has to tell you how he feels. You guys should have talked about what happened the moment both of you woke up. When he found where you were he went straight towards you.

“I need to talk with you for at least a minute.” He said

He saw that flash again of softness before you started acting arrogant again.

“Can’t you see I’m showing these pinhead noobies how weak they are. How they ain’t nothing compared to me.” You spat at one of the clan members who was just sitting there, shocked by your shift in attitude.

Tomas ended up grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you away. He didn’t scold you immediately, he would have to soon, he just wanted to get you somewhere private. He dragged you into a secluded room before letting you go.

“What the hell! Don’t touch me like that ever again. I don’t need your filthy hands rubbing against my nice skin.” You rubbed your wrist as if he actually hurt you.

“Cut it out already. You’ve been even more insufferable after that one night.” He brought it up after you told him not to.

“I thought we agreed we wouldn’t talk about it.”

“You said we should forget about it. I didn’t. And you clearly didn’t either since I see how you react now.”

Tomas has a point and you hate him for that. You hated how he sees your reactions. He knows you are feeling different but you don’t ever wanna say it. You want to run away from it. You tried doing that now by walking about of the room but he caught you by the shirt.

“If you don’t want to talk about it, fine. Let me say my peace before you go walking around with that nasty attitude of yours.” He forced you to look at him before speaking.

He lets it all out. Starting from the moment the sake hit to waking up with you. The warmth he felt when talking to you as you both swayed back and forth even while sitting. How warm your body felt against his. How lovely your eyes look and how they showed affection. And your words, oh those praises, how he felt adored by you. You won’t lie, you remember all of that as well. He really exposed you like that. Everything he said you felt the same.

“I’m not a man who goes sleeping with anyone and never thinking about them again. We were drunk, I know. That doesn’t mean what I feel now is a drunken statement. You don’t have to like me, just know I see something in you. You can leave if you want.” He finished off, letting you know you can leave now if you so desire.

But after that whole thing, how can you just walk away. That man just raised your ego by saying one night with you made him fall for you. You fell for him too but you won’t voice that out.

“I mean, who wouldn’t fall in love with me. I’m just that good in bed.” You replied but it sounded awkward. You weren’t even the one on top.

“Okay fine, so we had a good time. I’m not gonna deny that anymore. And maybe we developed some feelings. So what.” In other words, you like him a little too.

Tomas was surprised by your response. Even if it wasn’t straight forward your body language and your tone told him what he needed to know. He sighed out of annoyed but accepted what he could get.

“You’re so annoying.” He said before bringing pulling you into a hug.

“You’re annoying.” You grumbled but you didn’t push him away.

This relationship will sure be a strange one. One with constant bickering still but with love behind it. Hopefully Tomas can straighten out that attitude of yours. Make you a little more compassionate at least. There is just one more thing he wants you to know.

“I love you.”

“Yeah I bet you do.” Quit the attitude already.

After notes: I was thinking of Ena through this whole thing, don’t know why. I ended it off with the same way I give attitude to my fiancé cause as I was writing he decided to say something that made me become stubborn. I like the way I say trinkets i like trinkets there is no issue with that. Well, to the person who suggested this I hope I have made you happy and have a good rest of your day/night. Adiós!

#mortal kombat #mk1 #mortal kombat 1 #mortal kombat1 #mortal kombat x reader #mortal kombat x you #mk x reader #mk x you #mk fanfic #tomas vrbada x reader #tomas vrbada x you #tomas x you #tomas x reader #tomas vrbada smoke #tomas vrbada #smoke x reader #smoke mk #mk smoke #mk1 smoke

[lanitalay]

Supernatural

Azriel Supernatural AU x reader

Summary: In which you encounter a couple of hunters during a case. 

A/N: I've been rewatching supernatural and i just love it. This is based on the early seasons. Hopefully the ACOTAR and Supernatural fandoms overlap.

Warnings: mentions of blood and death, nothing descriptive.

wordcount: 1.7k

Masterlist

“It’s totally vampires, Az. Remember that nest we took out in Idaho? They did the same thing with their victims.” Azriel bites his lip recalling that hunt, it was in the top ten worst moments of his life. “I know you’re right but those things give me the creeps. The way their fangs just-” he gags thinking about the extra set of teeth. 

“You big baby, it's just teeth. What gets me is the decapitation. Ghosts are easy. Salt. Fire. But these suckers are a nasty job.” You look over your notes before asking “do you think Cass and Rhys could give us a hand? I think we’ll be outnumbered.” 

He shakes his head “we could call but last time we talked they were up to their necks on a vengeful spirit case. Get this, the bones are scattered in different places because the deceased couldn’t decide where to be buried.” You chuckle. “Those two always get caught up in something like that. What about Mor? Or Amren? I’ll call them just in case.” 

Two phone calls later and no back up to show for it. “That was a bust.” Azriel nudges your arm. “Hey, we can do this. We can figure out a way to take them out one at a time.” You sigh and lean your head against the window. Watching as endless fields blur into one another. “You’re right, wake me up when we get there will you?” Before he can say yes you’ve dozed off. 

The road to Texas was long and lonely for Azriel. You slept the whole way and he was forced to keep himself company with mindless humming and singing lyrics from songs he probably misremembers. You’re usually the dj, but he knows if he messes with your tapes he’s in deep shit. You arrive at the usual dingy motel at around midnight. 

“Hey, sleepy head, we’re here.” Az is careful not to startle you, slightly shaking your arm with a scarred hand to rouse you from sleep without setting off your hunter instincts. “I’m awake.” You mumble but don’t move to get out of the truck. “I’ll go get us a room, while you wake up.” A hum is the only response he gets. 

When he returns he sees you unloading the truck with a pep in your step. “We’re in 9.” Once you’ve settled in, it dawns on you that you took a six hour nap on the ride here. There’s no way you’ll be able to fall asleep now. “Az, you want something to eat?” He yawns “no thanks, I’m going to turn in for the night.” 

“Well I’m not tired. I’ll grab a bite at that bar across the street and come back.” You put on your jacket and make the short walk to the hole in the wall establishment that always seems to accompany the motels you frequent. “One beer and a burger, please.” It 's quiet. You assume that it’s because it’s Tuesday. Until you overhear the conversation from two guys at the bar. “Six people went missing and all of them were last seen here, Sammy, something’s up.” 

“I know, Dean, but we’ve been here a week and no one can point us in the right direction. Maybe they left.” Hunters, and by the sounds of it, they are on the same case.  The bartender sets a pint in front of you, when it’s in your hand you walk over. “Are you two looking for a vampire nest?” They seem to have a language of their own, exchanging a few glances before the one with blondish hair says “depends, who’s asking?”

“Y/n, my partner and I just got into town after hearing about six disappearances. Looks like you two got a head start.” You sit with them in a shadowy corner of the bar as they tell you about the roadblocks they’ve encountered. “Most of them came here without telling anybody they knew, they weren’t regulars.” The taller one with brown hair finishes. 

“So they were lured.” They nod. “It’s been quiet since we got here.” You finish the burger and wipe your fingers with the thinnest napkin you’ve ever seen. “They got six people in two weeks, that’s enough blood to keep a nest alive for a month.” But something’s off and you can tell they feel it too. “What were your names again?” 

“I’m Sam.” “I’m Dean.” No way.

 “Winchester?” They nod. 

“That’s crazy! I knew your father! It’s sort of how I got started in all of this actually-” you stop yourself, John is dead now and these were his sons “I’m sorry for your loss, he helped a lot of people.” Az is going to freak when you tell him. Dean swigs his beer and says “yeah well, that’s what happens when you make deals with devils.” 

It’s tense for a bit while you finish your beer “well, if you don’t mind it, my partner and I could help on the case. Four machetes are better than two. We’re staying right across the street. Room 9. See ya, boys.” 

The next morning you tell Azriel about your encounter. “I’m telling you Az, they seem nice enough. If we team up it will be safer.” He’s unsure, always wary of strangers. “I don’t know, y/n-” just then, a knock at the door. You check the peephole before opening it. “Hi guys, this is my partner Azriel. Az, this is Sam and that's Dean.” The brothers brought coffee, by the looks of it it’s from the prehistoric machine in the lobby. “We talked about it and we agreed, working together will speed things along.” 

“Az?” He sighs. “Fine.” 

“He’s chipper,” Dean quips. “He’s not a morning person,” you quickly defend. You were the only one allowed to comment on his crankiness. 

After a day of following dead ends, you sit with Dean at the same bar. Sam and Az are still trying to find something in the archives. “So what’s the deal with you and your partner?” 

“Why? Are you interested?” He chuckles. “Just curious, your room had two beds. Are you two not involved?” Maybe it was the whisky, but you said “not romantically.” 

“So he won’t be upset if I buy you another drink with the intention of getting in your pants?” You roll your eyes. “Your reputation precedes you, Winchester.” 

“My reputation as a hunter or a ladies’ man?”

“Your reputation as a shameless flirt.” He leans closer to you “is it working?” You laugh and push him off. “No.” 

“So there is something between you and Azriel. I bet he’s clueless. I’ve seen it time and again.” You keep nursing your glass. “I wouldn’t say he’s clueless. But you know how this job is. One second you’re here and the next… I think we both agree that it’s better if we don’t cross that line with each other.” 

“But you could cross that line with me.” He winks. “No, Dean. I don’t think I could.”

 He straightens away from you and sips his beer. “You said you met my dad?” 

“Oh, yes. It was years ago, I was a freshman in college and a vengeful spirit was wreaking havoc on the campus. John showed up right before the son of a bitch gutted me. After that it was hard to go back to classes, you know?” 

“And how did you meet Azriel?” 

“Az and I met in a bar like this one, he had been hunting with his friends for a while and I hustled them for gas money.” 

“You play pool?” You shake your head and try to keep a straight face as you say “I play fools, Dean.” 

When Azriel and Sam returned, he did not like what he saw. In truth, he was glad to see you were having fun but he hated seeing you having fun with someone else. It's not like he could complain. You both refused to cross that line. Sleeping next to each other every night, on different beds was not the whirlwind romance he wanted to give you. It wasn’t the life you deserved. But he stuck by your side because everytime he wanted to slow down, to stop, maybe go back to school, you refused. “There are monsters, Az and we save people. I can’t go back to sitting in a classroom only to end up working in an office.” He wanted domesticity. He wanted a routine. He wanted a lawn to mow and to barbecue on weekends. But more than that he wanted you. 

“She’s a keeper, Az.” Dean joked as you sunk the last ball in the socket. Azriel clenched his jaw, not liking the familiarity with which Dean nudged your shoulder. It had only been a day since you met and you were acting like you’d known each other for years. 

“You don’t have to sleep here if you don’t want to.” Your face scrunches in confusion at his tone. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“I’m sure you'd rather be with Dean right now.” 

“Azriel, don't be like that.” He shrugs “just saying, you two were making eyes at each other all day.” 

“We were not.” He doesn’t say anything else but there’s a tension that lingers. “I hate when you do this.” 

“I’m not doing anything.” 

“You’re picking a fight. You know I would never be with anyone else.” 

“You could.” 

“I don’t want to.” 

“Y/n-”

“I know Az, “the life’s too dangerous,” “we’d be more vulnerable,” “it just gives the bad guys ammunition.” I know the whole song and dance of why we can’t… I get it. But it makes me feel stupid when I could be out with someone who actually shows interest in me but I stay with you.” 

“I’m not holding you hostage, you can go if you want.” 

“You’re an idiot.” With a huff you storm out of the room. Not entirely sure where you’re going, you wander around the motel grounds for a while. Knocking on Dean’s door was an option, but you wanted to be alone. He was infuriating. Azriel knows which buttons to push and when. He does this every so often, picks a fight to create iciness between you. It makes temptation easier if you’re too mad at each other to give in, you suppose. 

It's past midnight, and the lights in room 9 are off. In your haste you forgot a key. You go to the lobby and are surprised to see an attendant. “Hi, I locked myself out of my room and my partner is asleep. Do you have a spare key by any chance?” 

“Of course, name and room number?” 

A click sounds from behind and you turn to see a man, turning the Open sign to Closed.  His neck is covered in scruff and bite marks. You look back at the attendant. The ledger, that weighs at least ten pounds, slams across your face. 

You wake up tied up and breathless in a windowless room. Six bloodied bodies surrounding you.

#acotar #acomaf #acosf #acofas #acowar #acotar fanfiction #azriel shadowsinger #acotar series #a court of thorns and roses #a court of silver flames #a court of mist and fury #a court of wings and ruin #supernatural #dean winchester #sam and dean #sam winchester #azriel #azriel acotar #azriel spymaster #azriel x reader #az x reader

[reallyromealone]

Title: hazbin security

Fandom: hazbin hotel

Characters: hazbin hotel ensemble, male reader

Fic type: story - romance

Pairings: angel dust x reader

Warnings: male reader, reader insert, angst, rape themes, reader is a giant, reader is a sweetheart, mentions of nsfw, adult language, mention of kinks, hurt to comfort

Notes: bing bong

🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️🕯️

The hotel went quiet as a hulking demon stepped in, having to crouch under he door to enter "uhh, hi?" Charlie said putting on a friendly smile as the 13 foot tall demon stared at her quietly and held up a paper advertisement along with a resume "oh! You're here for the security position!" She said excitedly as the massive demon nodded, everyone too unnerved by his hulking presence to even begin to think about anything else.

Charlie and Alastor went to the back with him, husk looking at angel dust with raised eyebrows as the door closed "holy shit!" Husk said to his close friend who's sipped his martini, nodding "he's a fuckin' giant, seriously! He could crush us!" The spider demon said almost awe struck as he barely hit the demons chest, angel knew he was probably hung like hell... Something he could feel in his stomach.

Charlie busted in "everyone meet our newest security! (Name)!" Charlie introduced the silent demon as the others awkwardly waved to no response as (name) nodded softly, a passive expression on his face.

And that's how it was, everyone went about their days as (name) despite his size lurked quietly in the shadows out of view but angel always kept a keen eye on him, he stressed him out... Reminded him of the people val made him sleep with.

Especially since (name) always glanced at him, like he was suspicious of him... Angel hated it.

"Give me the word, I'll handle him" husk would back up angel dust and the spider demon smiled at his best friend "thanks husky" he smiled, happy he found a genuine friend in the bartender as (name) threw out some crackhead who pissed on the carpet in defiance.

It was late as Angel dust walked to the hotel, exhausted and drained as his heels clicked against the pavement, today was shit and he just wanted to go home...

"Excuse me?" A gravelly voice called as the spider turned to see an imp with an intense glare "you're... You're Angel dust right? I saw your work..." They said seriously and angel felt his hair stand on edge as he looked at the other "what's it to ya?" Angel hissed out as the imp stepped closer and angel stepped back "I really... Admire your work... You look amazing on the big screen though... It pales to the real deal" they said heatedly as Angel felt he needed to get away and fast "no you don't!" The imp hissed out as he grabbed angel dust and pinned him to the ground "I wanna see if you're like how you are on the big screen!" The imp said maniacally as he tore at angels shirt.

Angel felt tears well up in his eyes, fuck he didn't want this to go how it did...

No!

Shit!

"Show me your cute-- holy shit!" The imp was lifted as angel shook, looking at his savior and was surprised when he saw (name) throw the imp like a ragdoll before lifting angel into his arm, the spider secured snuggly in his bicep as he went back to the hotel without a word. Angel was shaking as he just let (name) take him wherever, he didn't care anymore... He just wanted this night to be over.

(Name) Put his sweater over the other, nights in hell we're ice cold and (name) seemed genuinely worried as he took the scared demon back to the hotel. (Name) Didn't speak a word as angel looked up at him fearfully as he processed what happened.

The lobby and the hotel was pretty empty as it was late as everyone was either at home or in their respective rooms, the massive demon just clicking the elevator button as he glanced down at the other before looking forward.

"Wait this isn't..." Oh god, angel panicked as they passed his room and He felt his fears confirmed as they went to (name)s room and he was plopped on the bed unceremoniously, closing his eyes and expecting the worst until a t-shirt handed to him and the white haired demon watched as (name) turned around, Angel realized he gave him one of his massive shirts that fit like a dress. He hid the smile on his face at the fact the massive demon wanted to respect his privacy even though every part of angel had been broadcasted across hell.

But it felt nice... Being respected.

Angel felt awkward as he spoke softly "I'm uh, I'm finished changing big boy" he hoped it wasn't some kink, a lot of demons loved seeing angel in their clothes and fucking like that but was more surprised when (Name) Left the room as angel processed what happened and was elated to see the massive demon gold a tiny piggy in his hand, setting him in angels lap "nuggie!" Angel smiled as (name) sat on the ground, even sitting he held perfect eye contact "thanks... Why did you help me?" Angel didn't get it, no one ever did anything in hell without wanting something in return and (name) tilted his head "why wouldn't I?"

"So do you wanna fuck as a thank you?" Angel asked bluntly and (name) just stared at him "no"

"Then why would you help me if you didn't want to fuck?!"

"You deserve to be treated with respect, i wasn't going to allow such scum to treat you with anything less" the demon grunted, angel realizing that this was the first conversation be ever had with the other, the demons voice soothing to his ears. "you aren't as intimidating as I thought" angel said genuinely as he slid down beside (name), smiling up at him "I intimidated you?" (Name) Seemed genuinely confused and angel cackled "we all were! You're a massive demon who never talks!" (Name) Looked down at his own body and seemed to be in thought "that must be why people run..."

Angel let out a genuine laugh and kissed the others cheek "you ain't intimidating at all anymore to me!" He teased and (name) seemed flustered a bit at the others actions "nuggie seems to like ya" angel said as the tiny piggy crawled into (name)s lap and promptly fell asleep, normally he stuck to angel and angel alone.

"I just admit I have been feeding him little treats, my apologies" (name) seemed embarrassed as angel felt his heart melt a bit, not only was this giant so sweet to him but his pet!

(Name) Let angel sleep in his bed, the demon trying to set up shop on the floor when angel practically forced him on the bed "it's big enough for both of us!" And angel didn't want to sleep alone, the night shaking him up as he snuggled into (name)s side.

Waking up, angel was being held like glass as (name) cuddled him close to his chest as If he were the most precious thing in the world.

Angel didn't want to move, the domestically sweet energy making him feel emotions he wasn't used to.

And god was (name)s chest the most comfortable thing ever, practically smothered by the large pectoral muscles and his massive arms keeping him secure.

Maybe he could close his eyes and enjoy this a little longer...

When (name) woke he gently tucked the spider in as he got out of bed, grabbing a sweater for the other and a pair of boxers for him to wear as he wasn't sure if Angel wanted to wear sleep clothes when he woke...

What he didn't know was angel woke and stared at him curious as the massive demon out together some clothes for him, already dressed for the day and a goody smile played on his face.

He was gonna fuck this demon.

But romantically.

Angel stuck to (name) all day, the bigger demon letting him sit on his shoulder as he went about his day, angel dust talking away as the other listened carefully.

Eventually (name) needed to attend to things as he set angel carefully at the bar and walked off to do whatever it was charlie and Alastor needed him to do.

"So like, you fucking the big guy?" Husk asked bluntly and Angel dust explained what happened, the massive demon being nothing short of a gentleman to the lustful demon "he's only touched me to give me clothes or if I initiated it!" Angel was confused, usually people touch him first and without asking but (name) always looked at him for assurance before doing anything to the white spider, it was nice.

He felt special.

"You deserve someone nice like that, he's always watchin' ya, at first I thought he was glaring but now I think he was worried for ya" it was true, (name) always kept an eye on angel dust and the spider thought (name) was suspicious of him but...

Angel returned to the security demons room that night and (name) looks like a surprised puppy as he let the other in, angel looking up at him expectantly "I wanna fuck you but romantically" angel said simply and (name) tilted his head "you know you don't need to fuck me to be with me" he said simply and angel looked suspicious at him "what? You into cucking?"

(Name) Just lifted the spider and set him in his lap, absolutely tiny comparatively as he turned on the tv and pulled the blanket over them, kissing angel dusts forehead sweetly. Though their relationship seemed a bit rushed, angel couldn't help the goofy smile on his face as he snuggled into (name)s chest, the larger demon kissing his head softly.

Yeah...

He could get used to this.

#hazbin hotel x male reader #hazbin hotel x reader #angel dust #angel dust x reader #angel dust x male reader #Male reader #x male reader #fanfiction #hazbin hotel fanfiction

[shinyac0re]

━━ 𝑺𝑯𝑨𝑻𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑬𝑫 𝑯𝑬𝑨𝑹𝑻 ¡! 𝐠𝐨𝐣𝐨 𝐬𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 ━━━

( note: pls remember englisch is not my first language and there may be some grammar mistakes !)

★ angst, fighting, bad language, based on my smau „ Them still being in love w their ex !¡ “

Your heart was beating fast, too fast. You thought it was going to leap out of your chest and fall to the floor just right before your feet. Your body didn't move at all, as if it was no longer under your control. As if someone had pressed the pause button.

Your eyes starting slowly to burn and form crystal clear tears. One or two tears even made their way down your cheeks. Leaving a trace of smudged mascara with them.

Your heart broke into probably a million pieces. And you knew no glue in the whole world could stick them back together. Not even Satoru, who would always make sure to take care of your heart and put a bandage around it if it was hurt, could put the pieces together this time. Because he is the reason your heart broke in first place.

Your hand trembled. But not just your hand. Most likley your whole body. Still holding the thin piece of paper which caused your world to breake.

You never knew why everybody around you would glaze at you with that guilty eyes. But now you know. Because everybody knew and no one told you about it.

They knew the way Satoru would look at her. As if she’s the brightest star in the dark blue night sky. Just as if they were meant to be.

You would rather put the letter there where it was hidden, instead of talking with Satoru about it. You wanted to pretend not knowing about it.

But now it’s too late. Your tears already dropped onto the thin paper sheet. Causing the ink to smudge or completely disappear. You couldn’t turn back, no matter how much you wanted to.

Your carefully let your eyes wander all over the letter again. Only being able to see half of it since your view was blurred thanks to the tears. But maybe it was better this way, otherwise it would’ve just hurt to much.

„…please contact me again…“

„… sometimes late at night I still sit at our fav spot…“

„… I hope we meet again. But this time, the right time…“

„… I never wanted to lose you…“

„… I still think about you when I smell your perfume in public places because someone is wearing the same one as you…“

„ …In love, your Satoru…“

It was clearly his handwriting. You just knew it to well. The way he‘d put a little wing at the end of his name has betrayed him.

How could you be this blind?

Not being able to see that the person you love, loving someone else. You now knew Satoru would never love you as much as he loves her.

You suddenly hear the door shut. Which must’ve caused your body to be under your control again. » Baby? You home?« You hear his voice. Not answering you stand still at the place you found the letter. Y’alls bedroom.

» Hello? darling?« you hear his footsteps coming closer. With every step closer, you’re getting more nervous and anxious about what is to happen. You would love to run out of this situation. But your legs won’t move.

The door opens and it feels like it’s happening in milliseconds.

You see his white hair, the light pink lips, his sharp jawline and the cheeky grin he‘d always wear on his face in the corner of your eye.

» Hey why didn’t you answer?« he asks. He straight goes to his closet. He hasn’t seen yet that your standing there silently crying. Gripping that letter to find some hold, even tho it feels like the paper is burning into your skin. Just like the words Satoru wrote on it are burnt into your brain.

» Love is everything alright?« he comes near to you, trying to look at your face. But you can’t stop looking at the wall. His eyes slowly move to your Hand. The letter almost completely crumbled because of how thight your grip is.

» May I ask what your holding onto like your life depends on it.« he laugh’s. Not knowing he got caught.

Not knowing that Y/n is crying, because he can’t see her face. Her hair also hiding it like its a curtain and Y/n tries to hide behind it.

But suddenly your curtains moves. Revealing your red eyes and crying face. You can’t overhear how Satoru suddenly sucks in air as if it were his last breath.

» Hey love, what’s wrong?« he looks at you all worried. But the fact that this is all fake won’t leave your head. How should that even be possible.

You still stay quiet. Swallowing down all the words laying on your tongue. You can’t find the perfect words. Maybe because they don’t exist.

» Hey, you know you can talk with me right? I‘m not a stranger, we‘ve been together for over a year know.«

…“we‘ve been together for over a year know.“ those words replay in your head for a continuous loop. For over a year he‘s pretending to love you, when he was still in love with her. Telling you everyday, he loves you more than anything, knowing it was a lie.

Finally your able to move. You just show him the letter. Holding it directly into his face.

He needs some time to realize what your‘re holding in you’re Hand. And when he does, his ice blue eyes widen in disbelief. His mouth open without saying anything.

And now the anger takes over Y/n. » We‘re done.« is all you say before going to the closet they both share to get some of your stuff. Satoru just watching you unable to do anything because of the shook.

» Y/n wait! Please let me explain!« you stay quite. Shaking your head as an answer. » Please Y/n I‘ll explain it to you! You know- the letter is really old!«

You close your eyes. Trying to hold back tears. You won’t allow them to stream down your face. This is ridiculous. Is all you could think about. » Satoru, it’s over. Should I spell it for you?« you ask him with a tone of anger and disbelief.

His eyes are filled with tear’s. You laugh a bit because of that. He never really loved you, at least not as much es he loves her. But he still as tear’s in his eyes. » I can’t believe you did this.« you mumble to yourself while packing some of your clothes into a bag.

As you’re finished, you’re about to leave. » Satoru move.« you say and watch him not moving. He’s staying in the doorframe. » Y/n please, we can talk about. You know, like always when something bad happens.«

Your heart cracks a little more. Your sure you could hear it loud and clear in your ear. And if Satoru listened closely he could’ve heard it to. His words brought memories back to your mind.

How the two of you sat at a park bank together. The night sky filled with stars. He handed you his jacket as soon as he saw you were freezing. You talked about how scared you are because of his job. Because what if he wouldn’t come back one day.

This was your biggest fear. Getting a call from nanami. Telling you Gojo didn’t made it. He would never entered your house again or come to your bedroom to cuddle you. You were scared he wouldn’t comeback just for you to leave him now.

You take a deep breath. » No, there is nothing to talk about. You love her. Why would you want me to be in a one-sided relationship?—« you arch your eyebrow. »— You have two days to pack all of your shit, then I never want to see you again.«

This were your last words to him. Letting him stand there in silence while leaving him forever.

━━━━━━━━ ★ ━━━━━━━━━

| likes n reblogs r appreciated ! request always open !

#jjk smau #jujutsu kaisen #yn #x yn #anime #jjk gojo #gojo satoru #gojo x reader #oneshot #angst #gojo x you #jujutsu gojo #gojou satoru x reader #gojo angst

[midnight-black2]

𝐓𝐎 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

pairing : farleigh start x reader

synopsis : you decide to show farleigh just how much you love him

disclaimer : praise, sub!farleigh, softdom!gn!reader, masturbation (m receiving), very sappy, just a bit vanilla unfortunately but i wanted to keep it gender neutral

note : this is loosely inspired by the song "to love" by suki waterhouse, so to enhance the reading experience, listen to it !!

it was dark outside, the moonlight spilled into your dorm through the window. farleigh lie next to you, peacefully. the two of you completely content with the warm silence that filled the room. completely content in just each others presence. he was looking at the moon and you? you were looking at him. he seemed, preoccupied; a look on his face you couldn't quite decipher.

"y/n?" farleigh called, softly.

"hm?" you hummed, eyes darting between his and his lips--you couldn't decide what was a better sight.

"i think you're the only person who's actually cared for me...loved me, even," he said, pensively as he kept his eyes on the moon. there was a beat of utter silence. "i mean, just think about it, you were supposed to be out having fun with your friends and instead you're here, with me. anyone else i know would've dropped me in a heartbeat."

"you don't know that," you answered, with a small frown.

"oh but yes i do," he countered, with a sigh. he chuckled, he didn't know how else to deal with his feelings but laugh. alas, he was never good at expressing himself through words. "it's just i-...why do you stay? even when im rude, or i don't communicate properly like im doing now, you stay. why?"

"because i love you, farleigh. you're the only person i've ever wanted to be around. we understand each other, and i understand you, all of you. your flaws and your strengths," you responded. it almost broke your heart the way he couldn't see how much he meant to you. "i love you so, so much."

"yeah?" he queried, a small grin creeping up on his lips, as he turned over to face you.

"yeah," you assured, returning the smile. he leaned in just a bit closer, your noses touching.

"let me prove it to you," you uttered out, against his lips. his brows furrowed slightly, as he swallowed shallowly.

"what?" he questioned. he knew what you meant, although he wanted to hear you say it.

"let me show you just how much i love you. then maybe you'll stop all this crazy talk," you said, eyes flickering to his lips. he nodded eagerly, a small smirk on his face. you pulled him into a kiss, a gentle one. you wanted to treat him right. your hand found its way to his cheek, holding gently. you slipped your tongue inside his mouth, before you adjust yourself to straddle him. you break away from the kiss, the both of you breathless.

"you're so pretty, love," you said, gazing into his eyes. his cheeks turned a crimson color, as he kept eye contact with you. you leaned back in for another kiss, before grabbing the hem of his jumper. he helped you in the effort of pulling it over his head. you tossed the sweater off to the side, before you trailed kisses down his chin, and to his neck. you left faint marks and hickeys on his smooth skin. he sighed pleasurably at the feeling.

your hands traveled down his unclothed chest , your fingers grazing his nipples, causing his breath to hitch in the slightest. you smiled at that, reminding yourself of how sensitive he really was. your hands found their way to his jeans. his eyes were trained on you, anticipating every single action you made.

"do you want me to continue?" you asked. after all, consent is hot. he squinted his eyes a bit, and scoffed.

"are you seriously asking me that?" he asked, sassily.

"yes, i am. do you want me to continue?"

"wha-yes! yes of course i want you to continue! please."

"that's all you had to say, love," you said, with a small laugh, before you began to unbuckle his belt. you then unbuttoned his jeans. he pulled them down, and you lifted your hips so he could get them off. you discarded the jeans to go along with his jumper. he was left only in his neon orange boxers. they were bold, they were very...him.

"interesting choice of boxers," you teased, with a chuckle.

"oh don't bully me," he replied, dramatically with an eye roll. nonetheless, there was an uncontrollable smile on his face.

"i like them, i do. they are definitely something you would pick." you both shared a laugh, before you kissed him once again. you smiled against his lips when he pulled away to say something.

"god, can't you just fuck me already? with all of this love and kissing you're making me feel so...i don't know," he protested, a prisoner to your stare.

"i wanted to take my time with you." he gulped, cheeks burning. he felt showered in love by you.

"i don't think i could love you anymore."

"likewise." you said, as you continued kissing his neck. your hand snuck its way into his boxers. your forefinger circled his tip. he whimpered, softly, but still audibly. he was growing harder by the second.

"you're such a tease," he said, breathily. you grinned as your finger traced up and down his length. you put him out of his torture, and finally form a circle with your fingers, properly stroking him.

"oh fuck," he whines, as he locks eyes with you. you smile softly at the sight of him, writhing and whining and moaning underneath you.

"you're such a good boy, farleigh," you say, quietly. he whines even louder, he didn't think he could handle it--he was gonna faint. you were being so kind, and he didn't even know how to handle it.

"i-i oh, oh my god," he moans.

"you're doing so well, angel," you praise, before enveloping him in yet another kiss, swallowing all of the sounds he let out. your pace sped up, your thumb rubbing the tip of his cock gently. he let his mouth fall slack, brows knitting together.

"s-shit please," he moaned. goodness, he wasn't even sure what he was begging for at that point.

"i love you so much, sweet boy," you kissed his forehead. he looked up at you, big doe eyes clouded and hazy with pleasure.

"l-love you too," he barely managed to mumble out. he whines as your hand twists and teases his length. "fuck, y/n, think m'gonna come."

"come whenever you want to, my love," you responded, admiring him as he breathed more heavily. soon enough, he stayed true to his word, cumming. he felt utter euphoria wash over him, as his mouth fell impossibly more open in a silent moan. you rode out his high, slowing down your pumps. he could hardly breathe, but there was a content smile on his lips.

"you did so good f'me, farleigh," you said, before pecking lips softly. "now do you believe i love you more than life?" there was a beat of silence as he tried to catch his breath, he smirked a bit.

"i don't know, you might have to prove it to me again."

𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐤𝐲𝐚-𝐢𝐬-𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐥

𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐲? 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞

#dom!reader #smut #dom reader #saltburn #farleigh start #farleigh x reader #farleigh saltburn #farleigh smut #soft dom reader #sappy