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#BUT i am a Level 5 Procrastinator
vanmccantfish · 4 months ago
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Tbh you seem like the coolest chick ever. But the best kind of cool chick who like, secretly you can squeal in the corner with about a boy without changing facial expressions which is basically what I do to you by flooding your ask box with ridiculous rantings about Van McCann
akskdjhfvsjsj anon i love this!! yes i will happily squeal about b*ys in the corner with you any day with the blankest face imaginable because their goddamn ego's don't require any more inflation
anonymously tell me what kind of vibe/energy you get from me
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curiosity-killed · 2 years ago
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y’know when you do something and you know it’ll have consequences later and then you get to “later” and consequences occur and you’re just like “ah. yes. I did do this to myself and consequently cannot even pretend at shock or indignation”? that’s me rn
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athletixkat · 9 months ago
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Top Reads 2020 Fanfiction
I started reading Harry Potter fanfiction this year (thanks to Tik Tok) and these stories I’ve read keep me up at night because I cannot stop thinking about them. 
#1- Manacled by @senlinyu
This is story is a MASTERPIECE. I cannot express how many times I’ve read and thought about this story. The way Hermione loves Draco and Draco loves Hermione is unbeatable. Hermione is a literal boss bitch in this story and my favorite Hermione in everything I’ve read. The build up, the tension, the CHEMISTRY; it is the best thing I have ever read. I could write a whole damn brook report on this story and be proud of it. This story is just... ugh *ultimate chefs kiss*.
#2- Rights and Wrongs series by @lovesbitca8 
The Right Thing To Do, All the Wrong Things, and The Auction are my absolute favorite pieces of writing ever. Draco Malfoy in this series is my horny king, and the best Draco in everything I’ve read. The Auction has a special place in my heart because of hard Hermione works to stay alive and keep the Malfoys alive, as well. All the characters in each story are so well written, especially the Malfoys, and I cannot express how in love I am with each little plot detail and connection between the stories.   
#3- Remain Nameless by @heyjude19-writing
I recently read this story and I cannot get enough of it. This is first fic I’ve read with a wedding scene (two scenes!!) and I cannot put it in words of how perfect it is. This story is all about the love Draco and Hermione have for each other, and it has set such unrealistic expectations for me...ugh. Every chapter had me smiling like an idiot and I could not put it down. 
#4- Cruel and Beautiful World by Lena Phoria 
I am so happy that Lena Phoria turned this fanfiction into a book, but nothing beats the original characters in this story. The way I fell in love with all the characters (except Voldemort, gross) is immaculate. This story deals with a lot of trauma and heavy topics, but the plot and the characters are just too good. Draco is a sweetheart and absolutely whipped for Hermione, but they need each other. I have never laughed so hard while reading a dark AU fic, and this story made my abs hurt. Definitely one to read.
#5- All You Want by @senlinyu
Holy shit. This story has the best smut I have ever read. The way senlinyu describes what's happening to Alpha Draco and Omega Hermione during sex makes me laugh out loud. It is so so good and so so sexy. It is such a fun story to read, and that’s why I love it so much. 
#6- Breath mints / Battle Scars by @onyx-and-elm
This story is the definition of toxicity, but honestly, it’s still so good. Both Hermione and Draco are changed after the war, and they fall in love by rage, sex, and protection of one another. Hermione does not give a single damn about what people may say about her, and Draco just wants her to be happy (although it does take a while for him to see what that really means). Plot and characters are amazing, and the ending is *chefs kiss*.
#7- Isolation by Bex-chan 
The first Dramione fanfiction I’ve ever read, and it has a very special place in my heart. I didn’t think I would like reading Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger fanfiction, but this story changed my mind and led to my spiral of reading such amazing stories. Such an amazing read, and I love seeing Draco grow into a man that Hermione deserves and loves. This story is iconic.
#8- Hunted by Bex-chan
Another superb story by Bex-chan. A Romance/Mystery story after the war and Draco and Hermione fall in love... hard. They are great together and the plot is amazing. This story is another iconic one for me.
#9- Love and Other Misfortunes by @senlinyu
Another great piece of work from the Queen herself, senlinyu. Draco is so stubborn it hurts, but it’s okay because Hermione is there to save the day (duh). Love these two and the romance between them in this story. Also, Veela Draco with wings and fangs is too much for me. Not that it’s important or anything, but the smut level is through the roof. Love it.
#10- Bring Him to His Knees by @willhavetheirtrinkets
Auror Draco and Auror Harry are an iconic duo. I love how intricate Draco is in this story, and how his past still very much affects his present, but Hermione helps him a lot, and it shows just how much they care for each other. Hermione and Draco dance around each other until they realize *wait* they have feelings for each other! It is not complete yet, but I do check every week or so for updates because it has a good murder mystery plot and a fabulous Dramione. 
#11- The Risk-Reward Ratio by MissiAmphetamine
War fic, and honestly one of my favorite ones. Draco sucks up his pride and goes to the Order for help, and Hermione is the only one who truly excepts him. Draco is a stubborn bastard in this story, but he makes up for it. The scenes are so real, and neither character is perfect, but you’ll see how far they are willing to go for each other. 
#12- The Just World Fallacy by MissiAmphetamine
Sequel to The Risk-Reward Ratio, and this one is tough. Still so good, but deals with torture, PTSD, rape, and more heavy topics. The love that still stands between Draco and Hermione even after all that they have been through together is beautiful. I love this story, and I love seeing how each character grows into their own person while during a war.
#13- Broken by @inadaze22
I have never cried so much while reading a story. This story made ME feel broken because Hermione is quite literally shattered, but so is Draco. It’s a story that makes you feel so many things at once and it is beautiful. Super slow-burn, but in the end, Hermione and Draco are meant to be together. 
#14- This World or Any Other series by @olivieblake
Clean and Marked are incredible stories with a rollercoaster twist. I love each character in this series, and the love that Hermione has for Draco, and vice versa, is the most powerful thing in this universe. The relationship starts with a potion assignment and just extends through there. I love their characters so much alongside the secondary characters and it makes the story so interesting. 6th year Hogwarts and continues with the war, but Draco and Hermione are always there for each other no matter what. 
#15- The Eagles Nest by HeartOfApsen
Ravenclaw Draco and Hermione, 8th year, and Alchemy. This story is so complex, and I couldn’t stop reading it. I love both Draco and Hermione and how they work to settle a problem together. Also seeing all the secret rooms in Hogwarts was another compelling aspect of the story that I loved. They know they need each other, and them being nerds and all, school is what brings them together in the end.
#16- Almost Perfect, Almost Yours by BelleOfSummer
I could not put down this story. No matter how much it angered me, and no matter how much I wanted to throw my laptop at the wall, I couldn’t stop reading. The plot is so interesting where Hermione is raised by a Pureblood family, but she was adopted from muggles, so she is Muggleborn. All the while her and Draco fall in love through their teen years and go through a war together. Hermione is a bad bitch and Draco is whipped (maybe not in a good way). They experience so much together, and in the end, you learn to love them for who they are.
#17- The Green Girl by @colubrina
Hermione is sorted into Slytherin and makes all new friends that do not include Harry Potter or Ronald Weasley. I freaking love this story because Hermione is a literal Queen, and the story itself is so well written. I don’t usually read T-rated works, but I could not put this one down because it has such an interesting plot.
#18- Erised Effect by @adaprix
Smut, smut, and more smut with such a cute plot. I love little Hermione as a bad bitch and big dick Draco as a little softy. I was hooked from the first chapter and it was so crazy. The sex scenes in this are just... *fans self*. This story is a rollercoaster of smut, but Draco and Hermione are my all time favs in this.
#19- Every Day, a Little Death by @lovesbitca8
Draco tries everything to satisfy Hermione, and when I say everything, I mean everything. Such a cute story with such a cute relationship. Hermione doesn’t mean to fall in love, but alas, Draco is a sex God and it was inevitable. I love this story!
#20- Crimson with a Silver Lining by Lady Cailan
A dark AU where Draco is mesmerized by Hermione and her will to stay alive. Their love is so strong, but alas, Draco is a stubborn bastard. This story is an emotional rollercoaster and another story where I could not put it down. Also *spoiler* some family drama going on throughout the story. 
#21- Bond by MrBenzedrine89
*fans self* again because this story is incredible. Love the smut, love the club, love the love between Draco and Hermione. Super interesting details in this story with Draco, Hermione, and the infamous Bond club. Loved reading this story.
I fell down a rabbit whole of Dramione stories this year, and it made me ignore everything I had to in my life just to read them. I can’t wait to see more stories this year and procrastinate my life by reading these stories!
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empressofdiamonds · 5 months ago
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Zero Days
By ryans01 on Reddit, really inspiring text I often refer myself when I am in a less great moment. Really great mindset to get you started esp if you have procrastination issues.
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah I learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.
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cooksforkisses · a month ago
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What Helps Me Get Stuff Done (Neurodivergent Edition)
I have a whole slew of hinderances to completing tasks (adult ADHD, C-PTSD, depression, anxiety, a dysautonomic condition (POTS) that impacts my physical health), AND I can now successfully do my job, keep my space relatively clean, and do what needs to be done during my day (errands, appointments, phone calls, etc). I’m definitely still learning how to work with my brain versus against it, but the following things have been the most helpful in training myself how to complete my daily tasks:
Working within my spoon/energy budget — some weeks are more depressive episode/trauma response/POTS symptom heavy and all I can do is my job, personal hygiene, and eat cereal. Sometimes I can’t even do those. Totally fine, I blitz clean my house later in the week when I have the spoons for it and I know I won’t later so best to do it while I’m able!
“Don’t let perfect become the enemy of good” — working on *some* rather than finishing *all* is still a huge victory, and I only celebrate what I did do rather than shame myself for what I didn’t ⭐️
Self care looks different depending on the day — I have to remember to work with myself not against myself and listen really hard to what I need for that day to feel baseline-level-okay
Finding my bottom lines — an example is that I will not feel emotionally okay if I have not showered, bottom line! So I know I have to prioritize showering to feel better equipped for the other stuff.
Checking in with myself throughout the day and adjusting accordingly — MEPSS (how am I mentally? emotionally? physically? socially? spiritually?) ♥️
“Don’t put it down, put it away” — I try my absolute hardest to put things back in their proper places when I take them out, or another example of this is I do my best to wash the dishes I used after cooking/eating right away so I don’t have a pile later that overwhelms me and makes me not want to do any of it. Same with clothes, now I do my best to put my dirty stuff in the hamper and fold what’s clean at the end of the day so I don’t have a less-appealing pile of stuff to worry about later
Rewarding myself for desired behavior — reparenting myself requires positive reinforcement! I put a “reward” activity on my to do list for when I complete important things (getting nails done, fancy latte, Netflix show, whatever it is) and I commit to it just as heavily as I commit to my tasks
Remaining curious and nonjudgmental — asking “What about this task feels so difficult for me right now?” vs “I need to do this, why can’t I do this, this should be easy, I shouldn’t be having such a hard time with this”
Splitting tasks into chunks — if I have five small actionable items vs one overwhelming one, I’m actually still more likely to complete five little ones, and I feel 5x more accomplished at the end 👌🏻
Getting maximum sunlight, even if I just sit myself in front of a window — I really am just a houseplant with complicated emotions 🪴
Learning my *personal* best system — I get the most done in the morning, so it doesn’t make sense for me to schedule a big task in the afternoon because I won’t have the spoons for it and I’ll end up frustrated and defeated. Another example: for every 2 hours I spend working or doing tasks on my list, I get an hour back of free time. Literally 50% back. If I don’t give myself 50% of my working time back to me, I won’t be efficient when I DO have to work because my brain will be burnt out and I’ll end up spinning my wheels and hating myself. Your system will probably look different than most, and that’s awesome!
Lists CAN be the best friend — if I am making lists of to-do items and I feel shame/defeat when I don’t complete the list, I’m more likely to avoid my to-do lists in the future. SO I make a list in the morning of my top 5 ish things I have to get done for the day, and then I let myself work on whatever is on the list when I want/have the energy to do them during my day, and I let myself “procrastinate” on a list item by completing or working on another list item that seems more doable. That way the list gets more items checked off than if I forced myself to complete each item in order, and if something doesn’t get completed it just rolls onto the next day and I don’t shame myself for not completing it ☑️
I hope some of these are helpful to anyone else neurodivergent who struggles completing tasks. I used to not be able to hold down a job or if I could, feel absolutely miserable the whole time I was working. I couldn’t keep my spaces clean nor organized to save my life. I’d sit paralyzed and cry about things I had to do but couldn’t no matter how badly I wanted to. Meds have definitely helped as well, AND learning to work with my limits and my energy allowances has made a HUGE difference 🥰🥰🥰
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falling-pages · 7 months ago
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Between Darkness and Dawn: Bakugou x Reader
Yeah, I daydreamed and cried about this quite a bit. Completely fluffy, completely self-indulgent, completely needed for my touch-starved heart. I hope you enjoy :)
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Yes, I am working on the Bakugou prompts! This idea just came to me while I was working on them, so I will get to them soon.
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Katsuki Bakugou x Reader (gender neutral)
Genre: Fluff
Warnings: None
Word count: 1,024
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Soft edges of light broke through your blinds, washing the room in gentle hues of orange, pink, and blue. Whispers of a newly-fresh morning began to coax the rest of the world into waking hours. Bird songs and blooming flowers gave daily evidence of life undauntingly springing forth again. These little moments in the mornings, blurring the edges between darkness and dawn, were the most beautiful moments of the day.
Sleepy as you were, you reached for the lamp on your nightstand and fumbled for the switch. The pillow beside you was cold, but your body was warm. You knew he was only one room over and would come back to cuddle you soon. 
You stretched, blinking your eyes against the lamplight. The golden light almost burned to look at. Your body was still sensitive from the cocoon of sleep it had just been shaken awake from.
Katsuki had insisted you not wake up when he goes on patrols, but you loved the 5 a.m. version of him. The soft smile, messy hair, the way his feet quietly padded on the hardwood floor. The way his lips would wake you as they pressed against your temple, stirring you from a dream into an even better reality.
Even his crimson eyes, normally burning with ambition, were reduced to embers when the sun woke.
You had teased him in high school for going to bed early, but it had prepared him for the dawn-afternoon shifts he had at his internship. Everything annoyed him, so walking around when the day was just beginning to breathe helped calm his angry spirit. That, and hearing your cute morning-voice whines.
You loved every part of him, but morning Katsuki was certainly someone to lose sleep over. 
As you blinked the sleep away from your eyes, the bedroom door opened. Katsuki entered, carrying a wooden tray, and sat on his side of the bed. He leaned over and kissed you, morning breath and all. He always claimed that he wanted you to be the first thing he tasted every morning, and you couldn’t imagine starting your day any other way. 
“Good morning, Katsuki,” you whisper, smelling the sugar simmering beneath his skin.
“Morning babe,” he mumbled, nudging his forehead to yours. He moved the tray down the bed before pulling you close, running his outstretched hand over the exposed skin of your arm. “I made you breakfast.”
You reach for the tray, getting a good eye at the plate of bacon, toast, and fruit awaiting you. There were two mugs of coffee, but no other plate.
“You’re not eating?” you ask, leveling the plate on your lap. Though he was an excellent chef, you often worried about his eating habits. Each explosion zapped so much energy and he was always on the run in each shift that you wondered how his body could keep up.
Katsuki shrugged. “I’ll find something at the office. There was only enough in the fridge for one plate.”
“I guess I need to stop procrastinating shopping,” you say. “Don’t want some of mine?”
“No.”
A stomach growl betrayed him.
“Dammit.”
You giggle, grabbing his jaw in your hands and squeezing until his mouth opened wide enough for you to pop some bacon on his tongue. Daytime Katsuki wouldn’t have hesitated to steal your plate with some mischievous remark, but morning Katsuki was much softer and more in love. “When will you learn you can’t hide anything from me?”
“That’s no--”
“Don’t speak with your mouth full, Katsuki.”
He rolled his eyes and lightly shoved you away, detracting his arm while he chewed. He reached for the cups of coffee and took a sip of one. His drink was as dark as the night, while yours, swirling with cream and sugar, resembled the morning light just outside your window. Bitter versus sweet.
Despite his indignation, he passed you your mug, but jerked it back when you pounced on it.
“It’s hot, idiot,” he chided. “Be careful.”
“Doesn’t seem to hurt you,” you whined. The aroma was intoxicating, filling your lungs with the scent of the morning. 
Katuski dodged your advance, hero training and reflexes keeping everything away. “Dumbass, my hands are literally fireproof.”
“Gimme my coffee!”
“Nope.”
The altercation had given him his daytime edge back. His eyes darkened, and his teeth were sharp when he smiled.
“Why?” you dragged out, pressing your fingers against your palms in a grabbing motion. “Baby, please?”
You leaned up against his chest, flashing those puppy eyes you knew he couldn’t refuse. And they worked--at least to sway him slightly.
“Promise to go grocery shopping today? I can only make ramen so many ways.”
“Yes.”
“Tch.”
He lowered the mug from above your heads and you grabbed it, greedily slurping down the magical drink. Your eyes cleared instantly, able to watch Katsuki glare at you in amusement. 
“Pathetic,” he quipped lightly. While his insults were meant for pain, when he spoke to you his voice took on a different tone, to the point where the offending words were almost endearing.
“You love me,” you tease.
He finished taking another sip, closing his eyes as he drained the cup. His lashes fluttered when he looked back up, eyes glossy and soft again. The fire within them dwindled back down to a candle’s flame, the comforting hue of the slowly rising sun.
“I do,” he whispered, stretching his arm back out and cuddling you against his chest. His bare skin was warm, and you shifted onto your side, burrowing into him and laying your legs between his. Your coffee mug settled precariously against your hip as you used your other hand to trace patterns on his thigh.
Katsuki breathed in deeply, pressing a kiss to your head. He stroked your shoulder as your nose made a home above his heart. The gentle rubs nearly lulled you back to sleep.
You knew the moment would be short lived. He was a hero, and he had a grueling morning shift in which he had to save the world.
But right now, in the sleepy space between darkness and dawn, he was all yours.
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If you like what I write, please consider buying me a coffee :)
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be11atrixthestrange · 6 months ago
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According To The Stars
Be11a writes Jily Fluff! Read here or on AO3
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According To The Stars
While working on Divination homework, James learns something new about Lily. Good thing Divination is a load of rubbish... or is it?
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James wasn't sure if he believed in Divination, or if it was just a load of rubbish. Honestly, one of the only reasons he was still taking the subject was the company — it was on Lily Evans' sixth-year timetable, and therefore his.
His friends had dropped the subject, and they made sure to take the mickey out of him when he signed back up.
"Divination, really James?"
"Why take that when you could have a free period?"
"Is it the subject matter that fascinates you, or is it a certain redhead?"
The questions were rhetorical, and his friends knew that. They were perfectly aware of James' motivation for sticking around in Divination, and they knew that he preferred they weren't there. Not many students continued beyond their O.W.L. year in the subject, and James was happy that Lily was the only other student he knew well. He could assure they would always be partnered up for projects, and he didn't have to worry about anyone swooping in and stealing her attention from him. Not Remus, Sirius, Peter, or worst of all, Snivellus.
James was procrastinating on his Divination essay in the Gryffindor common room when Lily approached him.
"Have you started?" she asked.
"Not yet, I was waiting for you. I was hoping you could help."
"You're smart, you'll figure it out," she said as she took a seat at the table beside him. "It's just a birth chart, anyway."
Just a birth chart. The problem wasn't that James thought birth charts were difficult to understand; it was that he hated the idea of them. The fact that the date, location, and time of his birth supposedly determined his fate really bothered him.
Earlier in class, they had mapped out their star signs, and their homework was to analyze them. He had been feeling a pit of dread all day, simply because he'd have to dive into all of the details of his future. He truly didn't want to know what the stars had to say about his life. In James' opinion, there was no point in knowing how or when he might die, who his future wife would be, how many kids he would have, or what he would do for an occupation. It sucked all of the excitement right out of life and stripped him of his autonomy. He wanted to believe that his choices mattered.
He knew he should take it all with a grain of salt because humans could never fully understand the truth of the stars. Predictions were wrong all the time, and there were always going to be flaws in human methods of telling the future.
But the mere idea that James' future was set in stone made him deeply uncomfortable. Like his friends, he could simply choose not to believe in any of it, but the problem was that he sort of did.
He looked over to see that Lily had already started her essay and was scribbling furiously on her parchment. Reluctantly, he turned back to his own star chart and began writing too.
My name is James Potter, and I was born at 5:45 pm on Sunday, March 27th, 1960, in London, England.
This makes my Sun Sign Aries, my Moon Sign Aries, and my Ascendant Libra.
Sun Sign: Aries
The sun determines our ego, identity, and 'role' in life. It's the core of who we are. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Sun was in Aries.
I am fundamentally assertive, persistent, and courageous. Naturally competitive and fiercely independent, I push things forward with energy and enthusiasm. I am determined, and I persevere through anything.
James thought back to his time on the Quidditch Pitch, where he would do anything for a victory. He was a risk-taker with a deep desire to win, and that had landed him in the Hospital Wing more times than he'd care to admit. He was definitely independent — although he played Chaser on the Gryffindor team, he much preferred the solitary aspect of Seeker; when playing Chaser, his fellow teammates often badgered him for being a "Quaffle-Hog".
I need to learn to understand other people as complex wholes.
The analysis felt spot-on for James. People were like puzzles, and he enjoyed figuring them out. All-day, James had been riddled with curiosity about Lily's birth chart. He was planning to ask her about it tonight and was excited to get to know her on a deeper level.
I feel the need to distinguish myself from others.
James felt exposed by that one. He was a prankster; he enjoyed his popularity, and he often engaged in what others — mainly professors — would call "attention-seeking behavior." Touche, birth chart, he thought, as he carried on writing.
Moon Sign: Aries
The moon rules our emotions, moods, and feelings, reflecting our personalities when we're alone and comfortable. On my birthdate — Sunday, March 27th, 1960 — my Moon was in Aries.
My emotional self is independent, energetic, and enthusiastic. I have a tendency to feel inadequate and overcompensate just because failure is a possibility.
That one hurt a bit. James immediately felt defensive as he wrote it, but deep down, he knew it was true. As the only son of a well-known and successful family, failure was not an option. He was no stranger to pressure, and sometimes he overcompensated. He was a smart kid, but he often relied on his charm to build connections and network. He knew his smooth-talking could drive some people — mostly Lily — insane, but it was nothing more than a defense mechanism because he truly was terrified of failure.
I find security and safety through close relationships and long-term partnerships.
James held his friends close, and had no idea what he would do without them. He believed they would all be there for him for the rest of his life, and he couldn't entertain the idea that they might not. He would risk his life to protect his friends, and they'd do the same for him. According to his analysis, whether or not his overwhelming trust in others was a strength or a weakness was open to interpretation, and James chose to see it as a good thing. What was the point of life without friends, anyway? He smiled warmly at the thought and continued.
Ascendant: Libra
Our Ascendant is the "mask" we present to people. It can be seen in our personal style and our first impressions. Some say its relevance fades as we age. Our Ascendant is determined by our time of birth — I was born at 5:45 pm, meaning my Ascendant is Libra.
I come across as compromising, courteous, and impartial, though sometimes passive-aggressive.
For most people, he was a compromising and courteous individual, at least for people he liked. Unfortunately, passive-aggressive was a no-brainer as well. Some folks — particularly Snivellus — might say he was a bully. In detention, he'd received lectures about how pranking and cursing others was not the proper way to alleviate interpersonal issues. McGonagall never hesitated to tell him that a calm and rational discussion would be much more effective than a Levicorpus Charm. Admittedly, his methods could be considered passive-aggressive.
I am inclined towards balance.
James was a well-rounded fellow, that was for sure. He was an academic, an athlete, and he maintained a social life quite effortlessly. Balance truly was important to him. There was just one part missing from his ideal balance — a relationship. More specifically, a relationship with Lily.
In fact, that missing piece was one of the first things he looked for when he began his birth chart analysis. On a separate piece of parchment, he had scribbled down a few signs — Aquarius, Sagittarius, Leo, and Gemini. According to the stars, his ideal life partner's Sun, Moon, and Ascendant signs should fall into these categories. Part of him didn't want to know what Lily's chart said, and the rest of him needed to. It could all be rubbish, but maybe it wasn't.
"What are your signs, Lily?"
"Why do you want to know?" she asked.
"Research," he said.
"You want to know my fate?"
"You could say that," he responded. It was partially true — he wanted to know what the stars said about her life, but specifically her compatibility with him.
Lily sighed. "My Sun Sign is Aquarius."
James' stomach fluttered with excitement. Aquarius was one of his most compatible signs, so that was a good start. "And your Moon Sign?"
"Pisces."
He tried not to let the disappointment show on his face. Nowhere on his chart did it say he should look for someone with a Pisces Moon Sign. "What about your Ascendant?"
James froze in anticipation, hoping for Lily to say one of the four options. Two of three compatible signs would make them a decent match.
"Virgo."
His stomach sank. One out of three matching signs wasn't ideal. Sure, it could work, but it meant that Lily wouldn't be his perfect partner. If he were to believe the stars, there was someone else out there that was better suited to him, and he wasn't sure if he wanted that to be true.
"Are you okay?" asked Lily.
James tried his best to smile and mask his fallen expression. He was okay; he just really wished Lily's astrological signs were fully compatible with his, but he didn't feel like he could tell her that. At least not straight-up.
"Do you believe in all of this?" he asked instead.
"Divination?"
"Yeah, but more specifically, this birth chart stuff. Do you believe that this should determine your future? Your personality, your jobs, and who you should be with?"
"Who I should be with?" she asked, her eyes moving to his parchment. She was squinting, and James wondered if she was trying to read his chart. "What are your signs?"
He hesitated before answering. What if she really did believe in all of it, and learning how lukewarm their compatibility was just turned her away? He knew he couldn't get away without telling her, so he took a deep breath and responded. "Aries, Aries, Libra."
Lily didn't say anything at first, and the pit grew in James' stomach the longer she was quiet.
"Lily?" he asked after she'd been silent for a few seconds too long for comfort. "What do you believe?"
"Honestly?" she said. "I believe it's a load of rubbish. At least I hope it is. What about you?"
He felt a wave of relief at her words. "Good. I think it's rubbish too, and I hope we're right."
She smiled at him, and he grinned back, the heat rising to his cheeks. They turned to their essays and began writing again. There was a little bounce in their quills, a mark of the excitement between two teenagers who just — sort of — admitted something big.
James felt better knowing that whatever his birth chart said about his future, his choices did matter. Sure, the stars might have a plan for him, but if they didn't involve the cute Aquarius beside him, he'd happily choose not to believe any of it.
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until2022 · a year ago
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Until2022′s Guide to Catching Up When You’re Drastically Behind in Study:
I. Assess the damage
The first step in the plan is to confront how bad the situation is and then make some calls about what you can realistically achieve in the time you have left. 
List everything you have to do, down to exact detail - don’t write ‘catch up on readings for Virology’, but instead note down every chapter. This will make it a lot easier to gauge how much time and energy you need for each assignment or exam, and will help to motivate you as you work through. 
Use an Eisenhower matrix to sort these tasks:
Important and Urgent: Any and all compulsory assignments, exams, tests, etc. 
Important but Not Urgent: Lectures for upcoming exams, compulsory readings or labs, etc.
Urgent but Not Important: Additional homework or tasks that are due soon but aren’t worth much, like logbooks or small quizzes
Not Important and Not Urgent: Additional readings, nice lecture notes, and other ‘good-to-haves’
Now cross out everything that you can afford not to do. That’s going to be everything in your ‘Not Important and Not Urgent’ zone, and probably all of the things in your ‘Urgent but Not Important’ zone. I know that it’s annoying not to get everything done, or to sacrifice the 5% that you could have gotten, but unless you can do it in 10 minutes and it’s really worth it you simply don’t have the time to spare here. 
Having said that, if a class has lots of small assignments due, don’t overlook them because they’re not worth much on their own - make sure you take a look at the overall percentage left to go in that subject. If you can dedicate a whole day to just that subject and smash through all those assignments in one, you’re crossing a lot of work off your list. For example, I have weekly quizzes and 2% labs in my Pathology course - if I’m behind, I’ll dedicate a whole day and do all of those assessments. That’s 20% out of the way and a big leap towards catching up. 
II. Tackle the low-hanging fruit
Seeing the product of countless days of procrastination is probably pretty daunting right now. I could offer you platitudes here but it’s a lot easier for you to actually take some action and feel better about it yourself, so:
Do everything that will take you less than 10 minutes to complete. Reply to those emails, the messages in the assignment group chat, upload your peer assessment, do all the little things you need to do for someone else. That should cross out a big chunk of things from your list, and you’ll be left with the important stuff like finishing assignments and studying for exams. 
If you’re panicking (seeing the huge list of stuff which you have to finish in an impossibly short time will often do this!) then try an easy square breathing exercise. Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, repeat. Splashing cold water on your face is helpful too, as is having a glass of water. Do not use this time to procrastinate! It might sound like a good idea to relax by watching Youtube or Netflix, scrolling through Instagram or playing a video game, but you’re going to be sucked back into the procrastination game that got you here in the first place. 
III. Create your plan of attack 
You’ve left it too late to be regularly revising, so our plan of attack is basically going to be: cram every subject consecutively. This is the best way to get everything done when you’re pressed for time like this - don’t switch tasks or subjects. Interleaving subjects is great when you’re on schedule, but right now you don’t want to spend quarter of an hour getting into the groove of a certain subject and then switching before an hour has passed. 
University is just one assignment after another, no breathing space in between, especially towards the end of the semester. All you need to do is work out what’s due first and what’s worth most, order everything according to those criteria and then focus on the first assessment until you’re done. Once the assignment is handed in or you’ve sat the exam, then you can move onto the next task.
If you have two different assignments due for different classes on the same day, plan ahead so you can dedicate a full day to each subject instead of working on both at the same time. 
Plan out every single day - make sure you’re scheduling in time to eat, shower, sleep, and take breaks as well as to study. Be specific when planning your time out each day as to what tasks you’re hoping to achieve - don’t allocate too much time to any single lecture, but at the same time, be realistic about how much you can cover in one hour. 
Choose wisely based on what you do or don’t know. There isn’t much point in spending this precious time revising the things you already know you’re good at, so suck it up and schedule in the hard stuff first up, but be prepared to move on if you can’t get it down. You’re far better off going into the exam knowing 10 things badly, than 1 thing really well, so focus on the basics and if you have time to learn the more complex details then go back and do that later. 
You also need to be flexible and prepared to adjust - sometimes an assignment will take longer than expected or a day just won’t be as productive as you thought it might be. Don’t panic, just re-plan and shift things around so you keep moving in the right direction. 
IV. Grind it out 
Now that you have a clear idea of what you need to achieve and when, it’s time to get it done.  
For once, you shouldn’t need to worry about simple procrastination. You’re  probably already panicking, so turn that anxiety into motivation which will fuel you and let you focus for long time periods. Fear can be a great driver - when the threat of the exam is looming over you, it’s amazing how well you can knuckle down, assuming you don’t want to fail. 
Pack a bag with everything you need - your laptop or tablet, your charger, headphones, a water bottle and a travel mug, snacks and meals for the day, and anything else you like to have with you when you’re studying. Then take yourself to the library, the local coffee shop, the office - wherever you like to study, but don’t sit at home. There’s too many opportunities for distraction and you cannot afford that right now. Being in an environment where other people are working will motivate you to do the same. 
If you’re working on an assignment, the best way to get things done quickly is to let go of any preconceptions of doing a great job, or having a perfect draft, and instead just focusing on having a draft. Bash out the worst draft you’ve ever written, fill it with run-on sentences and spelling mistakes. But make sure you finish a draft. Then all you have to do is edit it, and it’s a lot quicker to do it this way than it is getting bogged down in the details before you’ve even begun. 
When you’re studying for exams, the number one way to learn is through active recall. There is no point in wasting time writing out a full set of notes if you’re two days out from the test. Even if you feel like you don’t know a single thing, start off straight away by testing yourself - do past exams, drill flashcards, try and write outlines or mind maps and then check your notes or textbooks and fill in what you’ve missed. If you don’t know the answer or you get it wrong, look it up and try to understand it, and then test yourself again in twenty minutes. 
It’s important to strike a balance here: don’t overextend yourself, but don’t continually take breaks. If you think you need a break, you probably don’t. Take two minutes to stretch your legs and drink some water, but do not pick up your phone. If you’re starting to feel mentally fatigued, especially after a few hours, it can be helpful to switch locations - go outside and study on a park bench, or shift to the dining hall. Sometimes the change of scenery is all you need to feel refreshed. 
V. Rinse and repeat
This is your life now. Make sure you stick to a regular sleep schedule - aim for at least six hours a night - because otherwise your fatigue levels will seriously impact your memory, retention and critical thinking abilities. It’s not worth the few extra hours you might get in, and you probably won’t be productive anyway. 
Remember that the advice I’ve given you here is based on what I do when I am severely behind, not how I study on a daily basis when I’m on top of everything. These tips aren’t all great for long-term learning, but are the most efficient way to cram when you’re behind and under pressure. 
You’ve got this. 
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thatgirlwithadhd · a year ago
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Hi I have ADHD and have just recently got into a relationship with someone who has been very understanding about it. She asked me about the things she would "need to know or I'd like her to know" about it. For example, I'm not forgetting where I put my keys everytime they leave my hand on purpose. It's just the ADHD. Do you think you could make me like a ADHD relationship everything you need to be aware of list? Sort of like a starter pack. I'm no good at this kind of thing.
Sure! Full disclosure: I’ve never been in a relationship. Also, this is not a complete list! 
Time blindness 
This is a real symptom of ADHD that affects our ability to accurately sense the passage of time (“It’s only been 10 minutes—how can it be 3 am?!”) Time blindness can also cause issues estimating how long something will take (“It should only take me 5 minutes to get ready!”) and judging the urgency of things that our brains perceive as far away (“I know I should study for the test, but it’s not until next week—I have plenty of time!”).
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Emotional dysregulation 
Our frontal lobes do not reign in strong emotions like they should, so we tend to have strong, impulsive reactions, especially when we are upset. RSD, or rejection sensitive dysphoria, is part of this: if we perceive even mild criticism or rejection—or even fail to meet our own expectations—it can feel like the end of the world.
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Under-stimulation 
Because we don’t produce enough neurotransmitters, our brains are chronically starved for stimulation. Under-stimulation is boredom, but an extreme level—and for people with ADHD, it can actually cause secondary depression.
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Short term memory 
This is why people with ADHD forget what they were about to say, forget what YOU just said, or forget to pick up groceries, pay bills, or turn in their homework. This is not carelessness. It is a working memory deficit caused by neurological differences.
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Attention dysregulation (not deficit)
This is one of the main problems in ADHD. We struggle to control the subject and intensity of our focus. This means that we can exhaust ourselves trying to focus for one hour in class—but may spend all day hyperfocusing on our newest project, even forgetting to eat or drink. Others may think that this means the ADHDer can focus “when they want to,” but hyperfocus is usually not voluntary and can be as hard to control as inattention.
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Executive dysfunction
Executive functions are cognitive skills housed in the frontal lobe (the brain region most affected by ADHD). These include things like emotional regulation and working memory; also organization, planning and prioritizing, and task initiation.Trouble with task initiation is often perceived as laziness or procrastination. In reality, executive dysfunction can cause an ADHDer to get “stuck” before starting, even if they really want to do the task. Difficulty with task initiation is why I get “stuck” in my car after parking—and sometimes cannot seem to leave it on my own, even when the interior of the car is over 140 degrees. 
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I firmly believe everyone with ADHD should do their best to own it and learn to manage it. Most ADHDers learn various coping strategies to help them deal. But it’s also important that the people in our lives have realistic expectations and know that even when we try our best, we will still have symptoms. It is not a sign that we don’t care about them or aren’t trying.
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cafeinthemoon · 5 months ago
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The Home I Crave - Chapter 8
Title: The Home I Crave
Genre: Fanfiction
Pairing: Tobirama Senju x reader
Rating: teen and up
Word count: 2769
Chapter: 8/?
Symbols: ⭕ | ➕ | 💛 | ▶️▶️
Read the previous chapters here: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7
N. A.: I want to use a different gif so badly but I'm afraid that the change would difficult for readers to recognize my story in the tag. Maybe in the next chapters I will change it 😅
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Chapter 8 - Invitation
The following days of your marriage were not so different from the first one in terms of establishing a routine and working to follow it, making the necessary adjustments along the way. You convinced yourself that focusing on this while performing your tasks as your father’s advisor was the best way to adapt to your new life.
However, you weren’t still convinced that this was enough to diminish your discomfort, specially when you were at home with your husband.
Tobirama’s routine and habits were not so difficult to understand after all: he had his time to take care of everything and never procrastinated; you soon saw that thanks to his Shadow Clones, he reached a level of competence that a normal person would take years to achieve, or never would. You were still getting used to see them around the house without getting a fright and even worked with them sometimes; they did you favors in return, such as offering you help when you had to do something outside the house or giving you valuable information to make your life easier in the village.
None of this could make you feel that it was easy to deal with the man himself, though. After trying to maintain a light conversation with him two or three times without success – if it was because of his lack of interest in this type of conversation or because you didn’t know how to start them, you couldn’t tell – you found yourself avoiding his company whenever you don’t have to work together. It wasn’t hard: you only had lunch together (Tobirama took his dinner to the office), and when one of you was at home, the other was probably in a meeting with Hashirama, so that you didn’t spend much time in each other’s company. Besides, you barely spoke between yourselves in the few times you both were at the Hokage’s office. It was true that the light mood of the older Senju brother turned things a little easier, but the weird sensation that established itself between you would come back as soon as you left his presence.
Things were even stranger at night. You rarely would go to bed at the same hour: you used to sleep earlier, and while you prepared yourself to bed you would only see Tobirama leaving his office when you went to your bedroom; most of the times, however, he even left the office at all. Sometimes you wondered if he spent the nights there, but there was this time when you woke up in the middle of the night and found the other side of the bed empty; you touched it and noticed it was cold, as if nobody laid there that night, which confirmed your suspicions.
Days have passed since you started living together, but he never took you nor made any advances towards it. Yes, you both agreed in delaying the wedding night because you were tired and weren’t comfortable – you didn’t have a single chance to talk before the ceremony, after all. But the days would come and go and almost no familiarity grew between you two: except for the forehead kiss he gave you during the ceremony, you haven’t kissed yet; you haven’t shared a hug or holding hands either. At first, you considered the possibility of taking the initiative instead of just waiting for him: with only you two living in that house, you had enough privacy; besides, just like the portrait you found at Mito’s house, the real Tobirama was indeed an attractive man. It wouldn’t be that hard to give yourself to him – but he didn’t give you any chance. You never spent much time in the same room except when you were working, and you would sleep first and not see when he’d come to bed while he would wake up and leave before you can notice.
He seemed to be fleeing from you as much you were fleeing from him now.
***
That morning in particular came quieter than you expected, even though you were already used to the silence that dominated the house whether Tobirama was with you or locked inside his office. Maybe this quietness was the reason you didn’t notice the sun was high in the sky and got late to your tasks.
You took care of yourself in a few minutes and went to check your task list: most of the things there still could be done immediately, but some of them you’d probably have to leave for the night now.
You started working as soon as you finished your breakfast and when you looked at the clock again, it was close to lunch time. You stopped what you were doing and went to the kitchen to prepare something.
Most of the times you took the initiative in doing it, both because you were used to make your own food since you started to participate in shinobi missions and because you finally found a weakness in your husband’s lifestyle: sometimes he could get so involved in his work that he would forget to eat or to send a Clone to prepare his meals, so whenever you started to cook, he would know it’s time to stop.
That day, he didn’t appear when the lunch was ready. You found that strange, but soon you were convinced that your delay could be the cause of it. You left the table organized and went to his office.
When you reached the closed door and knocked, nobody answered the call. You knocked again and the silence persisted on the other side. It was when you realized that the abnormal quietness you’ve been sensing was provoked by the absence of the Clones: you haven’t seen a single one of them since you left your bedroom.
That was unusual, you thought. Tobirama didn’t tell you he would leave home the day before, as he used to do. You turned the door handle and frowned: the door wasn’t locked. Could it be that he forgot it open or did he leave in a hurry, maybe to solve some urgent matter? You couldn’t tell.
You pushed the door and for the first time since the day he showed you the house’s rooms, you saw yourself in Tobirama’s office. It was empty as expected. You noticed the same organization and tidiness of that day as you looked around… except for a corner of the table where you saw a white sheet and ink.
You approached and immediately recognized the text of a correspondence. You started reading it without noticing what you were doing. It was a reply to a letter received recently. It wasn’t finished yet.
To the head of the … clan, Fuyuki-sama:
In the name of our Village, it is with sadness and preoccupation that I, Tobirama from the Senju clan, reply to your previous letter. The decline in your second daughter’s health is indeed a worrying matter. But as you asked in your previous letter, I kept this information out of your advisor’s knowledge until further notice. At the same time, all the support Konoha can offer you must be asked in your next letter regarding the preparations for your people’s travel…
You didn’t even touch the paper while reading it, but you stepped away from the table as if you got burned by the text. So, your husband was writing a letter for your father as a reply to a message he sent to Konoha with bad news involving your immediate family and you weren’t informed? Your sister was sick, and nothing was said to you about the nature or the gravity of her state, and not even the possibility of a delay in the travel was discussed with you, your head’s advisor? How could your father do that? That didn’t sound like him! Who could have suggested something of this kind…
- What are you doing here?
You startled when you heard his voice coming from the room’s entry, but you didn’t scream or throw weapons at him this time. Instead of the fear or shame one would feel when caught in a place they shouldn’t be at, you only felt a growing anger.
- Me? I am the one who should be asking – you grabbed the sheet and shook it in your hand for him to see – What are you doing here?
Tobirama didn’t need an explanation to understand what you meant. You didn’t see a hint of embarrassment in him when you showed the letter, not even irritation: the only thing he had for you was something between tiredness and exasperation, as someone who is used to work alone and now sees themselves forced to share their methods with a new and unprepared partner.
That irritated you as nothing else did since you arrived in that place.
Still, you heard what he had to say.
- This morning, a bird with a message from your clan arrived at my office’s window when I was about to leave it. It was sent directly by your father. He said your second sister, who stood in your place after you left your compound, fell sick. He explained that this could cause a delay in the travel because she was chosen to be one of your people’s Captains thanks to her knowledge of farthest territories and he was reluctant in sending someone less experienced as a substitute.
- And what were you going to say to my father about this? – you crossed your arms to hide the trembling in your hands.
- I am going to suggest him to wait until Konoha send a team of experienced ninjas to replace her and work with your clan’s team. They are in better conditions to help your people as they approach our lands. Your sister must stay in your compound and recover.
You were forced to agree that this was the most practical solution to the problem. But you couldn’t agree with Tobirama acting all by himself without consulting you, no matter what your father asked in that letter: she was your sister, after all!
- So you were going to solve this and leave the explanations to the day when my people would arrive at the village’s gates and I start looking for my sister and can’t find her?! Isn’t it absurd to your standards?!
- This absurd, as you say, is the will of your father, y/n-san – he replied without rising his tone – I cannot disrespect it even in his absence.
- She is my sister! I have all the right to know what happens to her! – you started screaming even though it wasn’t your intention, but that was too much – Besides, my father would never ask something like that from an ally! It’s obvious that some grumpy elder suggested that to him!
You tossed the paper back on the table, but didn’t see where it fell. Apparently this attitude of yours displeased Tobirama.
- Maybe they suggested it because they knew this would be your reaction once you found out about your sister – he pointed at the place you threw the paper at; and, after a sigh – Worrying about a sibling is what any normal person would do. I know that. However, your clan sent this letter in an official envelope, so that we must reply according to its content. And the said content included this request. I could not act in contrary, whether you like it or not.
You leaned your hand on the table’s corner, your fingers tapping its surface with anger.
- And where have you been?
- I just came from the Hokage’s office – he replied without hesitation – I asked my brother to send a medical ninja to help in your sister’s treatment. He could not send one of his Wood Clones, because it would not last the whole travel, so he sent one of his apprentices.
You raised an eyebrow.
- And who I should thank for this? Him or you?
This time you sensed a sign of irritation in his manners.
- The best you can do to thank us is to put yourself together and reconsider what you already know about these type of…
- And the best you can do for us now is not speak to me like this! – your patience was now gone and you interrupted him without caring about formalities – I know about all of this better than you can suppose. I have been working on this for years. I know my clan’s head and each elder that works with him as I know myself, so I could even tell you who suggested the secrecy to my father and guess what? He’s not so different from you! That’s why you agreed with that so easily!
You walked toward the door to leave, but afraid that he would stand in your way. Fortunately, that didn’t happen.
But that didn’t mean Tobirama would let you leave without hearing a last word from him.
- You are right, y/n-san – and after seeing you turning your neck in surprise – I do not know your leader and your elders as you do. But whoever this person you talked about is, you should recognize his value in your council. Thanks to the work of people like him, the personal matters of each community member can be kept separated from the public ones, and the individual passions cannot become the cause of a clan’s ruin.
There was something different in his tone this time, though you were unable to tell what. Maybe he was really offended by what you just said, or he was speaking about an old experience with another clan. You immediately remembered what you knew about the legendary rivalry between the Senju and the Uchiha and supposed that his statement had something to do with it. Whatever the case, you wouldn’t stay to discuss it.
You were done with it.
- You have a point in this. Things would be difficult if we didn’t have anyone to guarantee that the laws are being respected. But I am not asking you to disrespect anything. I am asking you to stop underestimating me.
You turned your back without waiting for a reply and left the room. You weren’t sure of what you were going to do with those new, serious information you got by accident, but you would need time to think of something.
A time you didn’t have at that moment, because you didn’t take two steps outside the office when someone knocked on the front door. You went to answered it and found Mito Uzumaki standing on the entry. She was alone, carrying a small bag on her left hand.
You were polite, of course, but didn’t hide the fact that you weren’t expecting visitors.
- Mito-san...? How can we help you?
You must have stared at her for too long or looked too desperate, because she startled at your reception.
- You look pale, dear. Are you alright?
You shook your head, praying for her to give up on asking.
- I am. I just woke up a little late today, so I’m on a hurry with my tasks. I’m a bit tired – and standing out of the door’s way – Do you want to come in?
Mito smiled.
- No, thank you. I have my own things to take care of and besides I don’t want to bother you. I just came to make an invitation – she looked over your shoulder and raised her voice – For both of you.
You glanced behind and saw Tobirama approaching the door. When he stopped close to you, she continued:
- Hashi and I want you to join us for dinner tonight. He knows this has been a busy week for you two, but there are matters he wants to discuss and he might not find another opportunity in the next week.
This last sentence sounded peculiar to you. Hashirama might not find an opportunity to discuss something with his advisor? You looked at Mito again and read the subtle message in her eyes: Hashirama wanted to check on his brother, as much as she wanted to make sure that everything was going well with you. You didn’t know if you should silently thank her or run.
Whatever the case, the final decision ended up not being yours.
- Tell my elder brother that we accept the invitation – Tobirama’s voice was heard behind you – And thank him for us.
Mito nodded.
- I will. See you tonight.
She left in an instant, as if she didn’t want to give you a chance to change your mind.
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binunus · 8 months ago
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college bf!bin
a/n the duality of this man??? i’m deceased...anyway i did not think this would go this long but uh my hand slipped...happy birthday binnie!
word count: 5k
genre: fluff, smut, (tiny) angst _________________________________________________
ugh yo
bin is so??? infuriatingly hot??? yet cute at the same time
major: exercise science
and because I love mermaid prince/the beginning, he’s been on the swim team since first year college
swam varsity starting his second year
besties with eunwoo, they were roommates their whole college career
alright so bin loves making friends
he’s so playful and talkative once you really get to know him
but his aura?? tbh very intimidating
like he has an rbf and just like he’s so tall, broad shouldered, built, like he just carries himself very strongly that you will get intimidated when you first meet him
very well known in the university
literally has a professional photographed banner of him hanging in the athletic building with the gold medal he won freshman year
a little embarrassed about it
not really, only when the boys (as in literally the other five) tease him
myungjun: woOoOw bin that guy on the banner really looks like you, don’t you think?
rocky: we geeeeet it you’re a star athlete
blah blah blah you know the vibes, they’re endearing
so how do you meet bin?
basically you’re a friend of a friend—you’re eunbi’s (sinb) friend
you’ve only met bin briefly from time to time, but otherwise you never really had any reason to get acquainted with him
your only encounters of him are when he wants to annoy eunbi and she immediately puts him in his place
but then suddenly in the spring semester of your 2nd year, you and him are in the same 8 am
a boring statistics gen ed class that everyone needs to take in order to graduate
you were running a bit late during the first class meeting—you woke up 30 minutes after your alarm and literally rushed out of your apartment—you made it to class with 2 minutes to spare
most of the seats were filled up already, except that one seat in the back left corner by the window next to the one and only moon bin
oh would you look at that
you felt a bit relieved honestly, you didn’t know anyone else in that class so at least you saw a semi-familiar face
he grinned at you when you sat down
“hey y/n”
you were a bit taken back, “you know my name?”
he laughed a little, “yeah of course, you’re one of eunbi’s really good friends, why wouldn’t I know your name?”
before you could respond, the professor started class and ceased your conversation
one thing you realized as the weeks start to go on
you and bin could not give any two fucks about statistics
no offense to stats lovers
every 8 am on mon/wed/fri, neither one of you would pay attention in class
you both enabled each other to not pay attention basically
so when the professor announced the content and date for the first exam
you and bin literally looked at each other with the same expression
you were both fucked
after class was dismissed, instead of the two of you quickly packing your things and fleeing the room immediately, you both lagged a little bit
you: so...do you know anything that’s going to be on the exam?
bin: uh...no? y/n you’re literally right next to me, you know I don’t do jack shit in this class
you: well fuck, how are you gonna study then bin?
bin: I was probably gonna ask my roommate to help me, he passed with a 96 when he took this class
you give him the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, you lean in and clasp your hands together like you’re praying
“can he help me too...? please?”
bin’s eyes go a lil wide bc you were a bit closer than he was used to and shit was his heart racing rn?
bin: uh...yeah...sure, i’ll text you to come over when we’re gonna study
you beam at him and like in your excitement you give him a hug
“thank you thank you thank you! i literally cannot fail this class. I’ll see you on friday bin!”
with that you grabbed your bag and just left, leaving bin shocked
he’s surprisingly a shy boy okay!
he always thought you were cute from when he first saw you hanging out with eunbi, but ofc he never thought any more of it
until you guys had this class together and he started to think every day, that wow you are really cute
bin texts you the next day
coincidentally, eunbi texts you too
bin: hey this is bin, if you’re free in an hour my roommate’s gonna help me go over the material in ch. 1
eunbi: why did bin ask for your number
you to bin: yes! send me your addy and i’ll be there :)
you to eunbi: we’re in the same stats class lol and we’re gonna study for our exam next week
eunbi: lol moon bin studying? you might wanna bring some wine with you for emergency y/n
you: lol what do you mean by that?
eunbi: binnie hates studying, but good luck!
ahh, eunbi becomes unhinged when it comes to bin
but you know it’s bc they’re that close, they’re literally childhood best friends, more so like siblings
still, studying w him couldn’t be that bad right?
spoiler alert, it went alright
you felt bad showing up to bin’s apartment empty handed so you picked up some coffee before you arrived
you officially meet bin’s roommate, eunwoo, and you’re floored for like 2 minutes bc literally how can a man like him be real?
cue bin being a bit jealous bc yeah he knew his roommate’s perfect but like damn did you have to be affected by him too :(
eunwoo’s a good teacher alright? you actually understood the material from him
you: idk what eunbi’s talking about, you’re actually not that bad at studying bin
bin being offended: oh god what did eunbi say about me
eunwoo smirking: maybe it’s because you’re here y/n, bin usually doesn’t focus this much when it’s just me trying to help him
you: ???
bin in his head: i can’t trust anyone huh 
before you left his place, you and bin planned to meet up and study one more time before your stats exam
it was just you and bin this time
although you’d never admit it, yes you tried to look good for meeting up with him
yeah he’s a friend?? at least you think you were at that level?? but still, he’s a cute friend and you really didn’t want him to see you looking crusty
you and bin end up studying for a whole 5 hours
granted, half of that time you two were messing around, eating food, trying to procrastinate for as long as you could
bc even though you two had a good handle on the material now—thanks to eunwoo—you both still hated statistics
you knew bin started to get more comfortable with you bc he started teasing you
it made you happy hehe so ofc you started to quip back at him
not at the intensity that he and eunbi do but it’s enough for you :)
he walks you back to your apartment after your study session
wow what a gentleman
bin waving bye at your door with the cutest smile: see you in class y/n :)
mayhaps your stomach did a little somersault
anyways
on the day of your exam you were freaking out
you have test anxiety ah ha ha
you woke up at 5 bc you were paranoid about being late to class
you’re like hastily looking over the notes again when you get to class like are you really prepared omg you’re psyching yourself out hella
bin comes in with 2 cups of iced coffee and he’s like woah are you okay
you: i woke up at 5 bin, idk if i can do this omg
you are like visibly in distress rn and he feels like a pang in his chest 
he was gonna mess with you and say like “bet im gonna get a higher grade than you” but he smartly decides against it
instead, he just takes your hand and gives it a little squeeze: y/n, take a deep breath. you’re going to do great, you studied your ass for this and we both know that you got this material down—even eunwoo hyung said you were gonna ace this exam. just trust your instincts, okay? breathe with me.
he was staring at you so intently and genuinely when trying to calm you down
your anxiety yeeted and suddenly you felt shy
you: th...thanks bin...
bin was worried about you while taking the test rip, he kept secretly glancing at you (while also trying not to make it look like he was cheating) just to make sure that you were okay
he walks you to your next class after you both finished your exam
bin: you sure you’re okay? you said you woke up at 5, did you even eat breakfast? let’s get food after your next class.
you were feeling better after the test but like you got so endeared at his fussing
yes you and bin got lunch that day
your exam results were uploaded the next day
you immediately called bin: I GOT A 95
bin: i told you that you would ace it! i got a 90 hehe
you: bin i literally owe you and eunwoo my life, lemme buy you guys food or something
you hear a little bit of bickering over the phone and suddenly you’re talking to eunwoo
eunwoo: i would love some sushi, but since bin can’t eat seafood, why don’t you come watch his swim meet this weekend :)
you: o...h...o-okay yeah i’d love to watch, what time is it? :)
eunwoo: it’s saturday at 10 am
you: okay! i’ll see you there bin
bin already planning on drop kicking eunwoo
cha eunwoo—best wingman™
you basically beg eunbi to go with you to bin’s swim meet
eunbi: i know bin can swim, why do i have to watch him flounder around under water
also eunbi: faster bin! don’t you fucking dare lose!
bin places first this meet
are we shocked? no
okay you mentally prepared yourself for seeing him shirtless, but clearly you didn’t prep enough bc you’re on the cusp of drooling when you’re watching him from the bleachers
and let’s face it, you’re not subtle and eunbi knows everything so she’s literally closing your jaw for you and like messing with you
eunbi: y/n, you’re really sure you like bin? he’s a good guy but c’mon, i think you deserve better
you: since when did i say that i like him ???? and what do you mean ??? i think he checks...all the boxes...for me...
eunbi: maybe it’s bc i’ve known him since when he used to wet his pants so i don’t understand why people are attracted to him, but like...really, you’ve been checking him out since he removed his shirt. even the ref can see that you’re simping over him
you and eunbi meet up with eunwoo and the rest of bin’s friends—that you haven’t met yet but know of
jinjin: oh so you’re the y/n that bin’s been talking about *wink wonk*
baby you’re blushing
even more so when bin comes up to your group
mmm middle parted wet hair, muscle tee and white sweats, towel around his shoulders
he’s so hot ???
you’re all congratulating him blah blah, but like bin keeps glancing at you and all you can do is just smile and like nervous laugh
sanha: y/n! eunbi noona! you should come eat with us to celebrate bin hyung’s win
eunbi glances at you, little smirk on her face: i have plans, but i know y/n’s free! bin you make sure they get home safe after y’alls dinner plans :)
hwang eunbi—best wingwoman™
dinner with the boys was chaotic, you were talking and joking around with them as if you didn’t just meet them today
*you about to get your wallet*
bin, not even able to look at you: it’s okay y/n, i got you this time
cue the boys teasing
astro: kings of making fun of each other
rocky as the group is splitting up: walk y/n home safely hyung :) don’t stay out too late
bin: sorry about them, they’re a bunch of loud idiots...ah haha...
the walk back to your apartment is actually pretty sweet
he didn’t know if you would actually come watch his meet or not but he was excited when he actually saw you
you talk about small random things about yourselves, but it’s not like useless information, you bet that both your subconsciouses are keeping track of whatever y’all are talking about
you give each other a “friendly” hug goodnight...that lasts like a minute or so
and while you’re hugging, bin just can’t help but think that wow you fit so perfectly in his arms
and on the other hand, you’re thinking he feels so warm? so safe? you don’t want to pull away?
but ofc the hug has to end and you’re thanking him for walking you home and he’s like glued to his spot waving goodbye sweetly and waiting for you to go inside so that he knows you’re safely in your apartment before leaving
bin sighing dreamily as he walks back to his and eunwoo’s place
eunwoo waiting on the couch with a glass of water: how was your date ;)
bin: it wasn’t a date, i just walked y/n home
eunwoo: yeah, but you want it to be a date
bin: ...shut up
god why is the pining stage so long
alright everyone knows you and bin like each other
it becomes pretty obvious after the swim meet
you and him fall into this little routine of switching who buys coffee for your 8 am
and then he’d walk you to your next class afterwards
you both still don’t pay attention in stats, sorry
but that means more outside study sessions dates
you come watch his swim meets, whether astro’s there or you’re just watching by yourself
and then you and him get lunch?? early dinner?? right afterwards, it depends on whenever his meet ends
but like??? neither of you have confessed your feelings for each other
even though you both have like a little hint that yeah the feelings are mutual
you and bin are literally like this for 3 months, like damn the semester is almost over
eunbi and eunwoo are tired of your shit, they’re both just like: when the fuck are they getting together? we’re sick of this.
alright so the masterminds literally pay one of eunwoo’s friends from his major to ask you out while you’re studying with bin
let’s do mingyu why not, he was in your korean history class last year
you and bin are in the library, half studying half goofing off per usual
eunwoo, eunbi, and mingyu are at the opposite side of the floor
mingyu: u sure bin won’t clock me for trying to ask out y/n
eunwoo: probably not??
eunbi: just do it please
mingyu giving them both the finger before walking up to your table
“hey y/n...i was wondering if you’d like to get dinner with me...as a date?”
you: o_o huh?
mingyu: i always thought you were cute from when we had class together last year, but i never had the balls to ask you out or anything...you’re not dating anyone, right?
you glance at bin to find that he’s already looking at you with an expression that you don’t really know how to read
you: um...well no I’m not-
bin: actually, we’re dating so y/n can’t go out with you mingyu, sorry.
mingyu’s not even phased, he just gives you a thumbs up and then leaves
you’re confused like literally what is going on—and then you process what bin said and you whip your head to look at him
bin: sorry i said that...i just felt...jealous i guess when mingyu asked you out
you: I wouldn’t have said yes anyway...I sorta like someone else
bin: fuck it, the topic already came up...y/n I’ve liked you for a while now but uh...I don’t know I guess I was scared to tell you because I’m scared of rejection
you just laugh, but not mockingly! more like bin you’re so cute wtf
“bin, why would I reject you when I’ve literally been into you for the past four months?”
it’s safe to say that you and bin officially began dating after that
eunwoo texting in their gc: bin and y/n are finally together
myungjun: fucking finally
bin: how...did u know that eunwoo...?
*eunwoo has left the chat*
alright but bin’s charm?? flirting?? teasing?? sweetness?? up 1000%
bin is touchy y’all, in private his hands are always on you, whether it be sexual or not sexual is up to you
he restrains himself in public ofc, the most he does is put a hand on your waist or hold your hand
eunbi threatens bin early on in your relationship: bin you’re like my brother, but y/n’s one of my dearest friends and if you as much make them cry i will kill you
ofc bin is still eunbi’s punching bag, but when you three are hanging out, he’s dramatic and acts like he’s hurt so he’s like whining to you
sometimes you play along and coo at him like: aww binnie, where does it hurt baby?
other times you’re like: you really think i believe that?? with the size of your biceps??
eunbi: excuse me while i vomit
okay but binnie? bestest sweetest boy
yes he looks all big and intimidating
but he’s soft—especially for you
your nicknames for each other are either “bub” or “baby”
yes will join in making fun of you with the boys, but when you start pouting he’s a goner and will defend you
bin is also a big cuddler, but i mean you’re not complaining hehe
he’s the big spoon, no questions asked
okay but being in bin’s arms is like your favorite place in the world
his frame literally just envelopes you and all you can feel and smell is him and it’s so??? content, you feel at home with him
you feel bad in the morning bc like his arm has to be sore from your weight so you try to like get out of his grasp, but he literally just whines and hugs you tighter
okay but just imagine you and bin napping and his arms are around your waist, his nose is buried in your neck and he wakes up like nuzzling his face in your shoulder like a puppy
im soft
one week you’re staying over at bin’s apartment and then the next week he’s staying over at yours, the cycle goes like that
if you’re one of my ladies with a ~vagíne~, he will buy all your cravings and your tampons/pads, literally anything you want that week, it is yours
doesn’t really get jealous now that you two are official, he knows that you’re his and he’s yours
you two lightly bicker like friends, but you’ve never had a terrible fight before
you were really close to though—or...like you did?? but it was resolved really quick
one of the only problems of bin is that he hates showing weakness and it takes him a whole lot to truly fully 100% be vulnerable with someone even if it’s someone close to him
he pulled a muscle in his arm and it cost him one of his swim meets
he had to go to rehab for like a month and you knew that mentally he’s been off bc of it
you try to ease talking him into telling you about how he’s really feeling but he just kept dodging the subject
one night after one of his rehab sessions, he came back to your place and you’re just like
“hey bubbie, how was rehab? how are you doing?”
and he just snaps at you: stop asking me how I am, y/n, it’s getting really annoying
you’re taken aback, like what the fuck where did that come from?
your eyebrows furrow and you cross your arms bc you are not going to get spoken to like that
“so me worrying about you and wondering how your recovery’s going is annoying? that’s what a partner is supposed to do, moon bin. what’s going on with you?”
bin: you’re being suffocating! it’s the only thing you ask me about nowadays, sometimes I—
oh boy you got mad
you: I ask you because I know you’re not telling me things! I know you’re suffering by yourself and I want to let you know that I’m here for you, I want to help take some of the pain away or at least help you deal with it because I’m your partner! but how can I if you can’t even let me in?? we’re fucking dating moon bin, we’re supposed to go through rough times together. and you call me suffocating...? 
bin’s silent and he’s looking at the floor
you sigh, tears are building in your eyes because you’re frustrated and a bit hurt by what he said, and your voice cracks when you speak again: if i’m suffocating you, then you should leave. text me or something when you can breathe again, I don’t know.
there’s a bit of spite in your words, hidden by the pain
bin sees the tears rolling down your cheeks and that’s when he knows he fucked up
he’s never seen you cry before—besides like from a sad movie or something
so like the fact that he made you cry and hurt you with his words? damn he hates himself rn
he immediately wraps his arms around you, and you like try to push him to get away bc why is he hugging you? didn’t he just say that you were suffocating? why is he confusing
bin: baby, I’m sorry...I shouldn’t have taken out my frustrations on you, you’re not suffocating me I promise...you’re right about everything, I should be sharing things with you and telling you how I’m really feeling...I’m sorry.
you don’t say anything and just like sniffle and he picks you up and brings you to your bedroom and then he just lets it all out
he tells you how rehab is hard and like yeah his muscle pain is going away, but he doesn’t know if he can swim as fast as he used to and that scares him
and he tells you that sometimes he’s thought of giving up swimming since his injury, but then he thinks of you and that’s how he’s still going through with rehab
you’re his motivator and comfort but he doesn’t want to show you his weak side bc he hates that part of himself
and at this point, bin starts tearing up and you’re like stroking his hair to try and comfort him
bin: I’m not good at telling my feelings baby...probably why I didn’t tell you I liked you until 4 months later...but I promise I’ll work harder and at least try and tell them to you.
ugh pain
anyway your communication with serious things got better after that encounter
eunbi finding out that you and bin argued and he made you cry and she literally punched his stomach
you: omg eunbi stop
bin: it’s okay...I sorta deserved that
eunbi: why...are you not swearing at me? shit, bin are you okay?
he nods to the girl and just puts an arm around your shoulder: we talked things through, don’t worry. I’m all good now, but I did deserve that punch because I hurt y/n when I promised you I wouldn’t
bin ends up having a full recovery and bam his first swim meet after he got the clear from the PT, he gets first place again
all the boys and you and eunbi were there supporting him
bin was hella nervous before the meet started, but you gave him a little good luck kiss and was like: I believe in you bub, no matter the result, as long as you give it your all and don’t hurt yourself again, you’ll be the winner to me :)
this was actually when the first “i love you” was said
after your little pep talk in the locker room, bin’s just hugging you and holding you for comfort
and he just went out with it
“I love you y/n”
you blush hella hard bc you were not expecting that
obviously you’ve been feeling it like yeah your feelings for bin have grown into love for a while now
you just bury your face in his chest and hug him tighter
“I love you too binnie, now go get em bub.”
he smiles and kisses you and tells you that he’ll see you after the meet is over
you come back to the crowd where the boys and eunbi are and you just have a huge smile on your face, you’re literally glowing
myungjun: please tell me you guys didn’t fuck before his swim meet
speaking of fucking
okay let’s get down and dirty ladies and gents wink wonk mmm grr bark bark
bin is so sexy y’all like i dont need to tell you that
he’s 100% a tease
you have a little muscle kink hehe
which bin very much uses to his advantage
if bin is wearing a sleeveless shirt, you bet he wants to smash that day
will walk around shirtless after a shower or after a workout just to turn you on and then depending on his mood, he might tease you for like an hour or you’ll just get right to it
he’s very proud of his body and the work he put into it and knowing that you get turned on from one look of it?? gives him an ego boost, he loves it
one time at a party, he wore a crop top (mm hello bad idea bin) and you literally went feral
you dragged him inside the nearest bathroom and just started making out
he’s an ass guy
...all of astro are ass guys, it’s just obvious with how much they slap each other’s asses and poke each other’s assholes
okay you know how he’s touchy right? i mentioned that earlier
he always wants you on his lap
even if there’s a space available, nope your seat is his thighs
ofc when the situation allows, like you’re not gonna sit on his lap in class duh
most of the time in public like if you’re hanging out with the boys or something, it’s innocent
but if he wants to be a tease, he’ll literally just tighten his grip on your hips and grind you down onto his cock
subtle, he won’t straight up thrust into you
just enough to get his dick stirring and make you feel the outline of it through your pants
and then he just stops and hugs your waist again?? wtf
his major’s exercise science right? will ask if he can practice on you for anatomy and physiology, but you know after touching you in a couple places, y’all will just end up fucking
likes to bite and mark
very proud seeing the hickeys he leaves on you
you can bite, but you can’t bruise, idk his upper body is exposed a lot bc swimming so you can’t really leave any marks on him unless it’s the off season
foreplay’s cool, but he prefers the main event, he just wants to be in you
as much as he loves doggy, his fav position is the hook
(it’s when your legs are on his shoulders ohoho and it just lets him fuck you in a deeper angle mmm)
also in the hook, he can choke you
if i have a choking kink, you have a choking kink
okay little tangent, choking is so hot?
like just imagine you and bin are making out, he pushed you against the wall, literally grinding his hips into you, and his hand just comes up and squeezes your throat? that’s so sexy
likes butt stuff oops
i don’t make the rules, he just does
daddy kink, but no power play
will not degrade you (even if you really just want him to call you his dirty slut) bc he really values seeing you as equals
seeing your face when you cum is a must
almost always: you cumming → bin cumming
nothing gets him off more than knowing that he’s making you feel good
after !! care !!
sweetest boy!!
will clean you up with a warm towel after sex
and if you’re one of my ladies, he will always remind you to pee so that you don’t get a UTI
if y’all had a marathon or something, he will draw a bath and carry you to the bathroom and you will bathe together, so soft
always ends sex with an i love you :’)
okay let’s get back to the soft stuff
special thing about swimmer bin: pool dates
sometimes when he’s practicing and it’s just him, he asks you to come to the aquatic center and you two end up splashing around and being cute together
he like knew that you were the one for him some time during senior year
it was the holidays and his parents invited you to spend christmas with their family since your parents were out of the country this break
his parents and sister liked you immediately—which you were so scared about, but bin just knew
you woke up early christmas eve (and bin was out like a rock) so you just went downstairs to brew some coffee or something and you saw that his mom was already starting on making food
naturally, you offered your help and she was like no, you’re a guest y/n, but obviously you started helping
bin comes downstairs like an hour or two later to see you, his mom, and his dad just cooking and listening to christmas music and talking and his heart just like swells??
you: morning binnie :)
his mom: how can you be sleeping when y/n’s here helping us with christmas dinner
his dad: what kind of boyfriend are you, son?
just kidding all jokes
but that’s the moment when he knew
best boyfriend bin ugh
he becomes a legend in the school for swimming
but doesn’t continue after college, he’s all about becoming a physical trainer after graduation
he goes to grad school, while you’re out working in business
bin moves in with you after graduating, it was the obvious next step
you do talk about the future together, but obviously bin’s still in school and you’re both fresh from undergrad so there’s no rush yet to tie the knot
doesn’t stop his or your parents from talking to you two about marriage tho oops
ugh but the domesticity after bin moves in with you? superb
like yeah obviously you both basically lived together anyway when he still roomed with eunwoo just from how much you and him spent at each other’s places
but like your apartment is now both of your place and it’s like your home is finally complete
your apartment becomes the reunion place for the boys and eunbi
at this point everyone knew you and bin were gonna get married eventually
eunwoo and eunbi: we did that ;)
and that’s how you and your college bf!bin live happily ever after uwu
happy birthday binnie moonbob ♥
1-25-21
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asherlockstudy · 4 months ago
Text
Rhett and Link’s problems with the Enneagram
I have now watched both Enneagram EBs and the second one actually set my gears to work (So Anon here it comes! I promise it was spontaneous).
After listening to Link and mostly Rhett talk about the Enneagram again and again, I realised I have a problem but I can not place its exact root. There is either something fundamentally wrong with the Enneagram itself or maybe it’s Rhett and consequently Link who talk about it in a way that made me feel a little uncomfortable.
My problem and cause of concern was that everything that was said during the two podcasts had a clear negative tone to it. I will have to bring in myself to it to give you an example so bear with me for a paragraph. I did the test and I am a 5 (Investigator - Observer, something like that) which suits me rather well, especially since it agrees perfectly with my Myers-Briggs INTP type. The results said I was a 5w6 (essentially an emotionless analytical robot) which is definitely wrong as I am clearly a 5w4 (a sad mess who analyses the world and searches pointlessly for the true meanings in life and wants to come up with the ultimate all-encompassing philosophy). I mean, OK, they are not described exactly like that but trust me, that’s the point. But despite all the flaws associated with it, especially in the fields of socialising and tremendous procrastination due to an insane fear of failure, I am actually very much in touch with it. I revel in analysing, in trying to see the bigger picture, to make up my own theory about life and the world. It gives me fuel to go on, it fills me with excitement, it gives me a purpose.
Now, what I kept hearing from Rhett and Link are the things they would hope to run away from. I can’t seem to remember a single positive thing they said about their personalities. All traits they mentioned ( which were all pretty one-dimensional for both I dare say) were presented in the context of torturing them and having to confront them. With these insights in their personalities and the spiritual deconstructions earlier, their old (surprising back then) statement that they are “fundamentally sad people” makes more and more sense. Some of their traits, like Link’s care for perfection to the smallest detail and his moral concerns could have been neutral or positive but, no, they are almost all given as clear negatives or at least as things that have an emotional toll on them.
This gives me the impression that Link and especially Rhett have found comfort in studying the Enneagram and try to find an explanation for what they are like, to feel part of a group, represented in their misery. In short, they focus on the analysis of the flaws of their personalities as a part of who they are and avoid dealing with the root that caused said flaws. Link is more self aware while Rhett still struggles to reach the root of it, which is his childhood. Not that he doesn’t know it but he can’t just deal with the people and the situations that impacted him enough to make him a three. For instance, Rhett seems to believe that he is a natural three that his parents made manifest even more strongly. It could be the case or the threeness we observe in him is the direct product of his parents’ constant judgement. By keeping chanting he needs to “be” instead of “do”, I am not sure Rhett will achieve much. Honestly, the one impactful step he needs to take is to stop caring about what his father thinks and I am sorry to say he is still not near achieving this. Especially when I take into account how scared he was during his videocall with his dad in GMM and how relieved he looked after the call was over without drama. In short, my problem with their take in the Enneagram is that it seems that Three is Rhett’s pack of unresolved issues rather than his complete personality type.
Furthermore, Rhett speaks knowingly about all numbers / personality types which proves he consumes passionately all Enneagram information that is available. For a man of his level of active lifestyle, hectic schedule and impatience, this shows that he indeed seeks comfort in finding a detailed description and an explanation for his personality, for the way he feels and acts. What does this mean? Well, that he does not like the way he feels about himself a lot. Not only that, but he is actually in a search of self. At this point, he is no longer cryptic about it but it is more serious than he lets on. He tries to make sense of himself and he tries desperately to find something in himself to love. I hope there are people in his life who let him know that he is worthy of their love, friendship and appreciation even though he is so deep inside his head that even the affectionate feedback can only help so much. Rhett will start finding some peace only if he takes the one step I mentioned above.
And then it seems that Link’s personality type is also exclusively a byproduct of his childhood and is aggravated by his relationship with Rhett. Link’s perfectionism doesn’t cause him enthusiasm - he just dreads the disturbance of his supposedly perfectly stable world. In all honesty, Link doesn’t strike me as an ambitious person. Link would just love to have his dear routine and a loyal person to share it with. Link needs stability and companionship. He is fine with just one person as long as this person contributes to the stability of their bond. Who that one person is in Link’s life is another story…
Link doesn’t care that much about the creative process and, frankly, he doesn’t care all that much about the comedy. Link cares to keep the environment Rhett and he work stable and safe. For Link, judgement from the audience is not as alarming as Rhett’s frustration because of it. Link cares to ensure that Rhett’s idea will be successful enough to keep working and to keep working together. So Link’s entire self-identification as a one seems to stem from his fear of abandonment and worthlessness only. Link fears he has not much to contribute to Mythical and he tries to counteract that by becoming the ultimate source of management and control. Because if he didn’t even manage the company, then what would Rhett need him for? Hence, Link’s obsession for control is a consequence of his fear, he doesn’t necessarily love to be in control for the sake of it. This is proven by his plane example, which shows that he finally relaxes when he does NOT need to be in control.
Link has been working hard most of his life to ensure his position next to Rhett. This brings even more insight in his resentment for Rhett that explodes from time to time. Link resents Rhett because he tries so hard to be always by his side but due to Rhett’s opportunitism, he can’t tell whether Rhett wants his companionship or he simply needs it for their brand. Even worse, Link dreads that the reason Rhett is his friend is because Link feeds his ego with his loyalty and admiration, because he takes Link for granted and not because he loves Link for who he is.
“Do you care for me or do you revel in the fact that I care for you?”
Now, I can’t get inside Rhett’s head but I doubt he uses people. I believe his genuine care for Link can be found in the weirdest examples - those from which Rhett has nothing to gain i.e getting frustrated when Link doesn’t enjoy food as much. Yes, this is a sign of love. Rhett enjoys food so much that he wants to share that enjoyment with Link. He can’t realise Link’s tongue works differently - he thinks Link is missing out and it frustrates him. Another silly example is Rhett buying Apocalypse equipment for a clearly disinterested Link and probably never getting its money’s worth back. This is important to Rhett for some reason and he is concerned enough to protect careless Link as well despite having no personal gain from it.
The truth is that these two men feed off each other; Rhett keeps Link attached to him to always feel worthy and Link keeps Rhett attached to him to always feel safe. However, the fact that Rhett is almost his entire source of safety and that Link is Rhett’s biggest calibrator of worth is indicative of the levels of love and need. Nevertheless, Rhett and Link are not independent people. They were constantly in search of support from one another and they lost themselves in the process of satisfying others or being safe. This is something they are realising only now.
Link’s fear of abandonment is so big that it frequently leads him to an almost paranoid behaviour. It is crazy that he felt left out when Rhett communicated with the audience during a podcast whose key purpose is to… communicate with the audience. His fear here has two sides: 1) that Rhett didn’t consider him an equally important business partner so he preferred to speak directly to the audience and 2) that Rhett isn’t emotionally invested in him in order to open up to him. And by saying he can deceive people if he needs, Rhett doesn’t help Link overcome his huge insecurities. This is why Link begs Rhett to talk to him about his feelings more. He does not understand whether Rhett loves him or uses him. The notion that Rhett doesn’t truly love or appreciate him is one of his biggest fears in life.
As for Rhett, it is certainly huge growth that he starts opening up and being vulnerable to a few thousand strangers yet it all still derives from his need to be accepted by said strangers as I am afraid that the late disproportionate criticism he gets for silly stuff on Twitter and Tumblr surely don’t help him deal with his issues, no matter how hard he tries. Therefore, Rhett is trapped in a vicious circle. Besides, Rhett was overly sensitive to be hurt when Link stated the obvious; that he was being vulnerable in hopes to be understood and accepted, because that was clearly what Rhett was openly doing. However, having someone discussing openly his vulnerability immediately made Rhett retreat back to his shell because no matter how hard he tries, Rhett hasn’t managed to separate vulnerability from weakness in his mind yet.
Long story short, Rhett and Link might be Three and One respectively but I am not sure they have a good understanding of themselves anyway. They may have figured out their types correctly but they certainly narrow their entire sense of being to their unresolved issues and phobias. They entirely lack a sense of self-worth and they probably have not realised the extent of the traumas in their youth. In the Enneagram language, the nine personality types have nine levels of development. I believe Rhett and Link are either in the average levels or the mildest unhealthy level. They are certainly not in the healthy top three levels.
Their obsession with the Ennegram helps only superficially but they seem to have based an illogically huge part of their self exploration on it. The Enneagram might offer some insight but won’t offer the resolutions they long for and badly need in order to find some relief. The ones that come when you confront your environment instead of overanalysing yourself and beating yourself up because of it.
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rose-animenz · 5 months ago
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TsukkiYama 5/12/21
Tadashi knew being friends with Tsukishima was tough, but he loved being around him. He loved how every time he pointed out an embarrassing memory from elementary school he would respond with, “shut up Yamaguchi” and a red tint. Bringing out that red tint was something Tadashi used as a pastime. He would do simple things like calling him ‘Tsukki’ and bringing up awkward topics. He gave off the image that he was just the dumb childhood friend, and that's what he planned on staying. He knew they were never going to be more than that, so he enjoyed being close friends and getting a little blush out of him every once in a while.
“Wait, Tsukki! You forgot your track jacket…!” Tadashi yelled out to the tall blonde boy. He stopped and waited for Tadashi to catch up. When he reached Tsukishima, Tadashi focused on the soft touch of their fingers as he handed off the track jacket. It was enough to make him smirk. Tsukishima grabbed his headphones from around his neck and put them on. Tadashi knew that meant walking home together in silence, but it was fine, as long as he had the chance to walk with Tsukki, he was happy. They made their way out of the school gate and headed down the road leading to their neighborhood. The entire time Tadashi was thinking about ways he could embarrass Tsukishima. He thought it seemed a little sadistic, and it was, but he ignored it. They hit the end of the street where they had to part ways. Tsukishima took off his headphones for the first time since they left to say his goodbyes.
“Bye, Yams. Text me later.”
“Sure! Cya Tsukki~!” he said slowing each syllable slightly. Tsukishima put his headphones back on and continued to his house quickly. Tadashi jogged slightly, excited to get back to his home. His parents were making Salisbury steak and he was excited. He reached his house and took his shoes off at the door.
“Mom, Dad, I’m home!”
“Welcome home.” one of his parents called out in the distance. He headed upstairs to start on his homework and hopefully talk to Tsukki. Tomorrow was Saturday so school was only a half-day, but Tadashi knew better than to procrastinate on work due. Tsukki had taught him that. He began with his algebra homework and got through it quickly. He got halfway through his English when he heard someone calling downstairs.
“Tadashi! Dinner is ready, make sure you wash up.”
“Okay! Thanks.” He made his way to the bathroom just down the hall and washed his hands and face in preparation for dinner. Just as he finished he heard a ding in his pocket. He unlocked his phone to see a text from Tsukki.
“I was talking to my parents about it and wanted to know if after school tmrw you wanna do a movie night. You can spend the night. My parents will be there for the 1st hour but they got a date after. Akiteru will still be there tho. Wanna come?”
“Let me ask my parents. If they say it's cool then yea.”
Tadashi returned his phone to his pocket and walked down the stairs. He turned right into the dining room and sat down at the end of the table.
“Thanks for the food Dad,” Tadashi said, already salivating. They started eating when he spoke up again, “oh, mom Tsukki said I can come over and spend the night tomorrow. Is it okay with you?” she sat there quietly as if she were thinking.
“Oh, sure. We don't have anything planned for Sunday so have fun.” With permission to go Tadashi continued eating, quickening his pace. He finished and set his plate in the sink before running back upstairs. He sat back down at his desk and pulled out his phone.
“I got the okay :) can’t wait to spend the night with you Tsukki!!!” he set his phone down and continued on with his English.
“A Queen’s consort is seen walking down the corridor. What does the word consort mean as used in the sentence above?” Tadashi thought of how Tsukki would react if he ‘unknowingly’ called him his consort. Fantasies filled his head as he finished his homework. He spent the rest of the evening sending Tsukishima memes and going through social media. Before he knew it, it was 9 pm. He shut off his light and went to sleep, excited for the time he was going to spend with Tsukki tomorrow.
Tadashi was awake, but his alarm clock wasn't going off. Afraid, he looked at the clock. It was 6:35 am. It was way before his alarm. He got up and reached for his phone. No notifications. Not knowing what to do he packed his bag for the movie night and school. He got dressed and brushed his hair. He didn't know what else to do so he grabbed his phone and texted Tsukishima.
“I hate being awake early ;-;”
After a few seconds, he got a response, “Same.”
“You're awake? Why?”
There was nothing for a couple of minutes.
“I went to sleep early because my parents were planning on having sex that night. I did not want to be up for that mess. They really couldn’t wait until Monday or something? Who even has sex the night before a date? That's such a pain.” Tadashi laughed and glanced at the time. It was 7 am. Close, but still way too early to make his way to school. He opened an old game and passed the time trying to get as far as he could level-wise. He checked the time, it was 7:45 am. Time to go. He grabbed his bags and made his way out the door. He headed to the meeting spot to walk to school together and after a few minutes, he saw Tsukishima turn the corner. He waited for him to get close enough and they headed towards the school together.
Even though it was a half-day it seemed like the day went by way too fast. Maybe it was because there were no AP classes that day. He wasn’t complaining though, now he got to hang out with Tsukki for the rest of the day. They packed up and head out of the classroom together. Tadashi noticed a couple of girls pointing and whispering. He ignored them but Tsukishima seemed to be turning a little red. Tadashi smiled to himself and continued walking. They exited the school courtyard and headed towards their neighborhood. Tsukishima put his headphones on, as per usual. However, this time when they reached their meeting point, they didn’t split up. They continued until they reached a large house surrounded by forest.
“I always forget how beautiful your house is,” Tadashi pointed out.
“Shut up Yamaguchi.” they continued into the house to see Tsukishima’s brother. He was putting on his shoes.
“Where are you going?” Tsukishima asked. Akiteru let out a large laugh and answered hesitantly.
“Well uh, I kinda promised a couple of friends I’d play some video games, I forgot until he texted me a minute ago.” with little to no reaction Tsukishima grabbed Tadashi’s arm and led him up the stairs to his room.
“Looks like we’re going to be alone tonight…” Tsukishima said, his ears going sightly red. Why was he always turning red? Maybe he was uncomfortable. For a while, they just sat watching infomercials on tv until someone knocked on the door. It cracked open.
“I brought the movie-” it was Tsukishima’s mom “-we’re going to be heading out in a sec, have fun you two!” she left without closing the door, leaving the movie case on top of the tv. They sat for a little bit longer before putting the movie in. Tsukishima was the one to put it in so Tadashi didn’t know what it was. Nothing played for a minute.
“Is it broken?” Tadashi spoke up. Tsukishima got up and inspected the movie. It had a crack in it.
“Leave it to Akiteru to give us a broken movie to watch. Looks like we’re gonna have to do something else.”
They sat in silence, not knowing what to do with the spare time.
“Ooh! I know let's play a game.” Tsukishima looked at him quizzically. Tadashi had an idea to make Tsukki super embarrassed.
“I was thinking of choosing another movie but now I'm interested,.What kind of game?”
“Obviously truth or dare. That what most kids play at sleepovers right?” Tsukishima seemed uncomfortable but he agreed anyway. This was going according to Tadashi’s plan.
“You first,” Tadashi insisted.
“Fine, truth or dare,” he responded with a sigh.
“Dare!”
“Uh, I don't know… act like a dinosaur for the rest of the game.”
Tadashi laughed, “that was weak. Truth or dare? Roar.”
“Tsukishima chuckled, “truth.”
“Hah! Who do you like!?”
“Dare.”
“Uh, I dare you to tell me who you like,” he said with t-rex arms.
“Why would you want to know something like that?!” Tsukishima said fearfully.
“Just interested.” little did he know Tadashi’s plan was to use his crush as a keyword to make him embarrassed whenever he felt like it.
“Can I skip?”
“Nope, that wouldn’t be any fun.”
“I don't have a crush.”
He looked at Tsukki doubtfully.
“You're obviously lying, you wouldn’t have tried to skip otherwise.” Tsukishima started turning red again.
“Okay, I’ll tell you but don't tell anyone…” Yes! All according to his plan! There was silence for a minute, Tadashi waited eagerly.
Turning even redder, which seemed almost impossible Tsukki began pondering what he was going to say. Finally, Tsukishima spoke up, “It’s you…”
THAT WAS NOT ACCORDING TO PLAN.
Tadashi started panicking internally. He was so accustomed to the idea that he had no chance of Tsukki ever seeing him that way, it confused him. Tsukishima put an arm on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
“Really? Like you actually mean it? You're just saying this and tomorrow I’m going to go back to being the childhood friend. I don't know what to believe. My plan…”
Tsukishima looked confused. He had never seen anyone react to a confession like this, not even in movies.
“Yamaguchi, I don't know what you're talking about but around 2 months ago I was thinking about you in strange ways and I realized those ways weren’t just as a friend. I realized that I liked you… I was always left out of social groups because I had no interest in people, especially girls. I can’t tell you how many hearts I’ve broken because I never felt the same way… so the fact that I can think these things about you has to be a sign doesn’t it?”
Tadashi looked up at him. Their faces were so close. What if he just… moved closer? Tsukishima and Tadashi connected into a soft but passionate kiss. Tadashi wanted more. He wanted more of this thing he always wanted but could never have, until now. He pressed his tongue against Tsukki’s bottom lip looking for an entrance. Tsukishima parted his lips slightly and Tadashi took advantage, using his tongue to explore the different textures of Tsukki’s mouth. They pulled apart to let each other breath.
“Are you going to stop?” Tsukishima asked breathlessly, taking off his glasses.
“As long as you want to I won’t stop. Are you sure this is what you want?”
“It’s not the first time I’ve wanted to…” he replied, his ears becoming a saturated red. Tadashi’s body started heating up as he said that. He pushed Tsukki down and placed his leg between his thighs. He started kissing Tsukki’s neck moving down to his collar bone. As he did he started palming Tsukishima’s crotch. Tsukki started bucking his hips, searching for friction.
“T-Tadashi… please.” just hearing Tsukki call him by his given name made him even more turned on. Without noticing his sadistic side slipped out.
“Hmm? Please what Tsukki~?” Tsukishima realized what was happening. He had never seen Tadashi act like this before. He found it scary, but hot.
“Please touch me more,” he responded, figuring out his place in this dynamic. As he said that Tadashi unzipped his pants and began to rub him through his underwear. A small whine escaped Tsukki’s lips. Tadashi grabbed his underwear and pulled it down along with his pants, revealing his already wet cock. He placed a firm grip on it and slid a finger over the tip, causing Tsukishima to moan quietly. He worked slowly at first, sliding Tsukishima’s erection in his hand to tease him. Then he quickened his pace, making Tsukishima moan louder.
By the end of this, Tadashi had promised to himself he would make Tsukki scream. Tsukishimas toes started curling, showing he was close, so Tadashi stopped. Tsukki looked at him lustfully, realizing his plan. Tadashi lowered his head and kissed the base of his dick working his way up to the top and then taking it in his mouth. Tsukki groaned as he did, wrapping his fingers in Tadashi’s hair. He started pumping as he bobbed his head up and down, looking to send Tsukki over with his tongue. Tsukishima tried to pull Tadashi off but it was too late. Tsukishima’s cum spilled into Tadashi’s mouth. He spit it out immediately.
“What the hell? Do girls swallow this stuff? This is nasty and salty!” Tsukishima laughed.
“That's why I was trying to pull you off…” he said, still giggling slightly. Tsukishima looked down at Tadashi’s crotch. It was begging to be let out. Tsukki placed his foot on Tadashi’s dick, blushing.
“I… want to do it to you too.” Tadashi got bigger under Tsukki’s foot. He took that as permission and released Tadashi’s dick from this cloth prison. He licked up the side. The warmth and wetness of his tongue were enough to make Tadashi groan in pleasure. He could feel Tsukki rubbing it against his lips, finally putting it in. the feeling of his tip rubbing against the roof of his mouth was a pleasure he had never experienced. It pushed him over. Without warning, Tadashi grabbed Tsukki by the hair and began thrusting into his mouth. Tears started to form in the corners of his eyes as Tadashi went deeper and used Tsukishima’s hole as he pleased. Tsukishima was glad that Tadashi was feeling good, even if it kind of hurt him. He moved faster until finally he pulled out and came all over Tsukki’s face. As soon as he did it he regretted it.
“I’m so sorry Tsukki! I don't know why I did that! I just--” Tsukishima looked up with a warm smile.
“I don't mind, because it's you…” Tadashi began to hug him. he may not have made Tsukki scream but this sentence would suffice for now. He leaned back to look him in the eyes.
“I love you… Kei.”
“Shut up Yamaguchi...”
2,423 words / 13,424 characters
notes
this took a while to write ngl. i think my smut writing has gotten better, i realized that in the last one it seemed rushed at the end so i tried to take my time with this one. <3 and reblog to spread the Tsukki love
xoxo
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dreamlee-wastaken · 4 months ago
Text
Hello! I’m Pix (short for Pikachu), I am a minor(14-17), so NSFW please do not interact. I’m apart of the LGBTQ+ and my pronouns are He/They or They/Them. My main is @justapixieatyourfrontdoor . :)
This is a Dream tk blog. I do not claim to be Dream, nor impersonate him. I do not take tickling as a fetish NOR a kink. If you do not like tickling, you may scroll off this blog. My asks box is always open, feel free to send in rp starters!
This is sad because even though English is my first language, I’m not that well with English, so my grammar may not be well in some spelling situations, and it is noticable if you try to read something from me, so heads up on that one.
Just like a regular human being, I do have my boundries. They will be listed underneath.
➪ 𝔸𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕄𝕖 ➪
Normal
As you know, I am a minor.
Feb 28.
Transgender 🏳️‍⚧️ :)
I am an artist, and I may post some of my art here. You may not steal my art, but you can reblog it.
I am an introvert, I will be fine if you start talking to me through DMs or publicly, I may come off as weird though. I don’t really handle to talking to strangers well since I am slightly timid and hesitant at times.
I have the energy of a fuckin hyper 5 year old if you’re very close friends with me so beware-HDNDND
Also older brother energy dhdjddj
I like music, I think one of the songs that have been slightly stuck in my head for the past days is Alien Boy by Oliver Tree.
I write tk-fics from time to time. :)
I am always free to roleplay!
I do watch Minecraft content creators such as Tommyinnit, Wilbur Soot, Philza, Ranboo, etc. However, I do not watch much of the Dream SMP due to how much I procrastinate or just forget (if anyone would like to know who’s perspective, it’s Tommys pov.) My friends at school introduced me to the Dream SMP, which is when I started to get into the mcyt community.
I am a lee-leaning switch, but if I feel like it, I may get my revenge.
I’m not very comfortable with feet tickles, it makes me feel a little weird. I will give feet tks, though it won’t be very often. I also ask to not receive feet tks.
I live in the USA. (hello fellow americans.)
I’m a Pokémon freak--I’m basically a Pokédex. Though I may not know some Pokémon.
A Splatoon freak as well. :)
If you’re going to talk to me through DMs, please don’t just immediately start up a roleplay. I’d like to get to know you so I can trust you enough. I’ve seen some tk people on Tumblr having troubles with this problem, so I’d kindly ask that you don’t do this to me and take it easy. Again, I am a minor.
Feel free to use your OCs!! :)
I have Gacha installed on my phone and will use it when I’m too lazy to draw. It’s kind of a pain to draw something on paper, photo it and color it digitally. (That’s how i don’t finish my drawings on IbisPaint and there are a lot of unfinished drawings.) So bear in mind that if I do ever showcase my OCs, it might (and will) be in Gacha.
➪ 𝔻𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕥𝕜 𝕙𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕠𝕟𝕤 ➪
Lee
He won’t admit it, but he fuckin loves tickles.
Cannot say the word “tickle“ for shit.
Mans a fuckin’ squealer.
Depending on what he’s feeling that day, he will provoke the ler.
Sassy as fUCk sometimes.
He cannot take teases for shit dude. He blushes so easily. They always get to him. That’s why he has his mask on almost all the time.
I would say his level of ticklishness is about a 9/10. It depends on where and how you’re tickling him though.
Dream squirms so much. He constantly has to be pinned down just to not squirm away from the tickles.
His worst spot is a battle between his hips and stomach. Poke him in either one of those places and he’s already squirmy and in a giggle fit.
His underarms are the second most ticklish. This is the common tickle area if you want to hear him snort. It’s priceless.
Dream can snort anywere else if he’s caught off-guard or some shit, but his underarms are a 100% guarentee place for snorts to appear.
Third most ticklish spot would be his knees. Do that little spready thingy with your fingers on his knees and he immediately jumps from the sensation. The backs of his knees are also a pretty bad spot.
His sides are also a good spot to attack. He can’t stand the feeling of it, everytime he squirms left or right he always leans into some tickly hands that squeeze his sides, making the tickling worse than it already is.
His neck is pretty ticklish too. He gets jumpy and squeaky when you tickle his neck.
Anticipation and adrenaline kills him.
If you get him in a certain area in his underarms, you will receive the tea kettle laughter. *cOuGh* the hollows of his underarms will make him lose his shit. *cOuGh*
Raspberries on his navel kills him.
Stomach: 10/10
Hips: 10/10
Underarms: 9.5/10
Navel: 9/10
Knees: 8/10
Sides: 7.5/10
Neck: 5/10
Ler
HOO bOy where do I begin.
He is veeeeeeeeeeeeeeery fuckin teasy. (He learned it all from Sapnap.)
he fucking baby talks to his lees sometimes. Fuckin’, “aww, does it twickle two mwuch? Can’t handle a wittle bit of tickling?“
He can say the word “tickle“ all he wants, it won’t bother him AT ALL.
He’s normally an evil ler, but if the lee asks, he will be nice and soft for them. :)
He mainly goes for Sapnap because Sapnap always starts tickle fights for absolutely no reason, and Dream will want his revenge.
Because of the manhunts, Dream can easily chase any lee down because of how fucking speedy this man is-
If the lee legit just runs away from Dream, he will let the lee have a 5 second headstart, but then he just starts to bolt.
Haha, man out and gONe. 🏃💨
Lightning McQueen fuckin NYEEEEEEORM🏎💨💨
If he’s playing Hide n’ Seek with the lee, he will always throw out teases just to make the lee expose themselves.
I think that’s all for right now, I will add on more things if I can think of any. Cya later, bye!
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arcadejohn127-9 · 7 months ago
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Do you think you could do the Brothers reacting to a video surfacing of Male!MC in a disguised child fighting ring? And I’m not talking like “Oh no! look the kids are fighting down in the playground!” but like “Oh my god MC is brutally bashing this kids head into the ground in the middle of a classroom”
I totally get that this is a super dark request but..recently a video of my “Elementary teachers“ cheering me on to hurt my classmates and for them to do the same to me was sent to me and and I just... need the comfort, I guess. (It’s never as obvious as people think it is, and everyone underestimated what sick bastards will do when they want “entertainment”)
Again, totally get it if this is to dark, I could just really use the comfort, and I don’t have the time to get it anywhere else because I’m always working and quarantined so 🤷
That's really deep, this almost feels too personal to share as a prompt but I'll do what I can my best. I can't imagine the disgust and overwhelmed emotions you're experiencing right now
I was a fairly aggressive kid to my peers growing up and that shit eats at me but this kind of level? That's just heart breaking and the fact teacher did that is just sickening
I'm so sorry and hope this can give some comfort even if it's just a fraction. Thank you for coming to me with something so personal and I always feel touched you you guys come to my page for comfort asks and or prompts - it's a privilege to feel this trusted even if you are anons
Also I won't be using canon usernames because bad memory and uuuhhh I'm lazy
Warning: violence, children involved violence, swearing, angst, neglectful adults, hurt/comfort
L3vi:
Yoooo!!!! I just found this video of (Y/N) pop around a few servers
L3vi:
I'm a mod in most of them so I've been able to delete them after watching it and have been getting people to delete it but it's not working
A$$mo:
What do you mean? What video? 😮😳 Did nudes get leaked??!!
Scumbag:
HUH??! someone's sharing videos of (Y/N)??!! who are they?! I'll go right to 'em If they wanna be like that!
Lucifer:
A video? I'm guessing it's quite serious if you're trying to get people to delete it, what is it? we need to tell (Y/N) if a private video has been released to the public without consent
Cat boy (=`ェ´=):
What are you doing just telling us
Cat boy (=`ェ´=):
YOU DAMN SHUT IN IF SOMEONE IS PURPOSEFULLY HURTING (Y/N) WE NEED TO DO MORE THAN ASK THEM! STOP TAKING SO LONG TO EXPLAIN WHAT ELSE IS THE MATTER!!!!
l3vi:
FORGIVE ME!!!! I've been debating as this is pretty serious stuff
L3vi:
[sent an video]
5 of the brothers opened the video, Levi already watched it and Beel was offline, they all stared in shock. The Devildom can be am agressive and rough place when it can be but this?
They felt sick to their stomach. Seeing such innocent children being tainted and encouraged to be violent by the adults around them. To see such a little sweet looking you grab and beat on another child.
There was blood on the classroom carpet, screams and cheers. Threats ringing out the room by the teacher's whilst you screeched and threw down your small fists. Cries for their mother was the kid beneath you could muster.
The brother's heart broke at this.
Asmo sat there with hand over his mouth, tears lining the corners of his eyes. Mammon threw the phone down and just sat there, hearing everything that was happening. Lucifer could only watch so much of it before he turned off his screen; face to face with his tear eyes in the black screen. Satan felt apart of him shake, he was like this when he was younger but to hear the teachers cheers it just broke him. Belphegor was all for violence and people getting hurt but seeing you in that state at such a young age - he couldn't stand it.
This wasn't the you they knew. You never brought this up and the bigger question was; how did this get online?
Build a bitch:
Whoa just woke up to that
Build a bitch:
Who's been sharing this? How did people get this kind of film?? This had to be done in the human world
Build a bitch:
I'm getting Beel to check his phone
Lucifer:
This is just disgusting behaviour....poor (Y/N)..to be filmed like this, I cannot stand for this kind of thing, I trust you've already hacking their accounts of the sharers
L3vi:
I'm working on it! I only learned hacking back in 1990 and procrastinated on learning everything 😬
Scumbag:
I ain't believing this...! THEY JUST STOOD THERE AND FILMED WHILST JUST DOING THAT TO MY POOR HUMAN?!?! I SWEAR I'M GONNA GO FIND THOSE TEACHERS MYSELF!!!
BBQ foot lettuce:
I just got online, belphie told me there was an issue
BBQ foot lettuce:
Lucifer we need to stop this from spreading and tell Diavolo
build a bitch:
He's useless! I could do more than him in this minute!
A$$mo:
Poor (Y/N) 😭😭 I need to go hug my poor darling! That must of been awful! We can't let it spread and have (Y/N) find out
You did find out. You got it sent to you through direct message. This memory felt like such a blur, a nightmare they scratched the back of your mind that you could never tell if it was real or not. It was real.
You looked down at your hands; unstained and non damaged. They were trembling and you couldn't stop. You tried to stop the way your body trembled, your hand flying to your mouth as you let out a pain gag. Stars shimmering in your gaze as tears poured down your face, you couldn't focus on anything other than the pain in your throat. Your throat clamped and hugged itself as if it needed comfort from what you just watched. Your voice unable to escape.
You poured your agonized heart out into your pillow. You couldn't believe it. How did someone get this? How did they know it was you? Why did they send you this? Who else has seen this?!
So many questions filled your heard, you couldn't even focus on your own internal voice. Your vision growing more blurry as a fresh fountain of tears flooded out.
When you finally calmed down you reasurred yourself that no one else knew. You convinced yourself that nobody had to know or would even see it. You stumbled out of your bedroom with phone in hand, your cheeks blemished and stinging. Your throat finally released itself as you made your way to the kitchen.
Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal. Just act normal-
"(Y/N)?" come to the living room, we need to talk."
Your throat immediately closed back up. You thought you couldn't cry Anymore. You thought you were okay and able to push on but fresh tears came. You followed Lucifer to the living room only to be greeted by distraught expressions.
They knew.
Mammon was quick to stand up, charging towards you and hugged you as tightly as he could. You shriveled in his touch; internally demanding him to not do this but you just sobbed, hugging him back.
"It ain't ya fault and you were just a kid, you didn't need to go through that and your teachers were awful."
You cried harder and hugged him tighter. Asmo was the second to come over, hugging you tight.
"I'm so sorry, I know that can mean nothing but I truly am, you don't deserve this or anything bad that happened to you."
Beel and belphie came towards you third, joining in on the hug.
"You're not that kind of person and they're not real teachers, you're okay with us."
"You were just a child, you're not that experience and they shouldn't of sent that to you or anyone - we're fixing it, I promise."
Levi showed you his phone, hesitantly joining the hug.
"I've been hacking the accounts to see who's doing this to you, we'll make sure they can't do this, you're my Henry and i know he would never turn away from Someone in need."
Satan joined, rubbing your arm as he held you tight.
"We'll make them regret making you relive that memory and those teachers, they were no real ones if they treat you like that, we have you, you're safe and they were cruel."
Lucifer was the last to join, patting your head
"I promise we'll fix this, just let it all out."
And you did. Until you were barely awake, you laid on the sofa whilst Diavolo gently asked you do many questions. As soon as he could he came to see you, comfort you and see how you're feeling.
They didn't Leave your side until it was night-time, you were fast asleep and the brothers sighed. They will find out who did this and fulfil their promises. They'll stay with you but they also wanted to make those Teachers pay. They'll be here with you until you're able to feel peaceful within yourself and they fixed everything
"thank you..."
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calamity-unlocked · a month ago
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Got tagged by @izzizzels and for this procrastinating fanfic writer ask game, and immediately jumped on the chance - editing is a pain and I'll take any distraction I can get.
1) How many works do you have on AO3?
Seven! I actually have a lot more on my laptop but I’m way too insecure to ever upload them. Or I did upload them and deleted them a day later. My fic folder is a dark place.
2) What’s your total AO3 word count?
~102k.
3) How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?
I’ve uploaded fics for four fandoms: Amphibia, Dimension 20, Critical Role and The Magnus Archives (…one is not like the other). But again, I’ve written tons of short drabbles and oneshots for other fandoms. YA-books, cartoons, DC & Marvel, etc.
4) What are your top five fics by kudos?
- A Theory of Butterflies and Other Insects
Atobaoi, my beloved <3 Gen longfic, still ongoing. This roleswap AU is almost halfway done and boy am I having a blast writing this. This reimagining of the canon show takes a deep dive in exploring the girls’ flaws and strengths as they each arrive in a different place; Sasha with the frogs, Marcy with the toads and Anne with the newts. The concept in itself isn’t wholly original but I’d like to think that I’ve made it stand out with its lore, mysteries and twists. There’s still much to come.
- Late Night Vigils
I wrote this Magnus Archive oneshot around 3 am and although my perception of Daisy as a character has shifted as the podcast progressed, I still really like this surprisingly fluffy fic of her and Jon bonding over their similar trauma.
- King's Gambit
Marcy and King Andrias have a jolly good time playing chess! I’ve played chess on a national level for a couple of years and I just can’t stop peppering in those delicious metaphors.
- The Emptiness in Loyalty
Oh, this is an oldie, mostly disproven by canon at this point. Critical Role oneshot, focusing on Astrid and her relationship with an institutionalized Caleb/Bren from the point of his breakdown to his escape. It’s very bittersweet and although my writing has definitely improved, I still occasionally look at it with fondness.
- The Hare and the Fox
Queen Sasha AU lives rent free in my brain. This two-chaptered fic of a very different Marcy and Sasha reuniting after many long years is unflinchingly brutal and it was so much fun to write.
5) Do you respond to comments, why or why not?
I always try to do that! Even just with a ‘thank you’. I get immensely excited when someone drops a comment analyzing atobaoi or theorizing about the plot, that is the best feeling in the world and I want to show how I appreciate it, even if it takes a little while to respond. Fanfic is great because the line between author and reader is so thin and I enjoy the sense of community it fosters.
6) What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?
I was originally going to say The Hare and the Foxbecause it ends on a very bleak note, with few things being resolved. But then I remember the knife to the gut that is King’s Gambit. That Hurt No Comfort tag is there for a reason.
7) Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?
Mmmmm not really, the closest thing is a Fantasy High AU set in the world of Dragon Age.
8) Have you ever received hate on a fic?
Nope! I did get some skeptic comments when I posted the first chapter of atobaoi, but a lot of those people are still reading along and say the sweetest things whenever I update.
9) Do you write smut? If so what kind?
Nope!
10) Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Yes and no – very long story, very complicated. Let’s just leave it at no.
11) Have you ever had a fic translated?
I have not!
12) Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No, and there are (I think) only two people I would consider co-writing a fic with, but I would feel a bit less anxious proposing marriage to them than asking them to collaborate, so. We’ll see.
13) What’s your all time favourite ship?
I’m not much of a shipper! If you’d point a knife at me I’d probably say Perc’alia or Shadowgast, but mostly because of their fantastic dynamics rather than the romantic aspect. Romance in itself is not very interesting to me.
14) What’s a WIP you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?
* stares longingly at my extremely self-indulgent post-Night Marcy Memory Loss fic *
15) What are your writing strengths?
Creating coherent narrative arcs, creative plot twists, and emotional scenes. I tend to focus a lot on the (overall) plot of my stories and make sure they’re sturdy without any holes or weaknesses.
16) What are your writing weaknesses?
Characterization and detailed descriptions. This is partially because I am not a native English speaker and sometimes struggle to get a good grasp on the language.
17) What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?
I’m not a fan of the Gratuitous [Insert Foreign Language] trope, mostly because in my opinion a lack of research and/or linguistic awareness often leads to butchered language, which always bothers me a lot. Translation footnotes or parentheses, while sometimes necessary, don’t help out much and often distract from the pacing.
When writing dialogue between two characters, one of whom has a second language, I rely on my own experience, throwing in a word or two in situations where it would make sense while the reader is still able to follow the conversation. When two characters are discussing something in their native language I just describe they’re talking in their native language.
18) What was the first fandom you wrote for?
Oh gods, please don’t ever ask about that phase of my life, but Voltron. To look at those unfinished fics in my folder is like gazing into the abyss.
19) What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?
The Tales A Dead Man Tells takes a close runner up, but after all the effort and love I’ve put into it, A Theory of Butterflies and Other Insects comes first place. I started dipping my toes into the Amphibia community after posting this fic and the outpour or support and enthusiasm was heartwarming. I’m really glad to be here and I can’t wait to show you all what's in store.
Tagging (and feel free to ignore this if you so choose) @camomile-t, @ghostadventurespirit0rb and @borkthemork
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unbelfiore · 4 months ago
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Match up, No. 9
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@starlightbydaybright hat gefragt:
Hello! Saw you were taking match-ups and I was wondering if I could request one. Only done one before for another fandom, and I was wondering who I’d align with for One Piece ^^
I'm an INFP and generally an introvert, finding it difficult to express myself when I'm around people I'm unfamiliar with or just not close to. I can be both quiet and shy; quiet when I have no interest in making good impression on that person (a stranger I'll see once and never again) and shy when I'm genuinely trying to make myself acceptable to them. But, I do trust easily, so it's not hard to get close enough with me that I'll open up about almost everything, so long as they understand have my boundaries (that'll shift depending on how close). I'm also very affectionate with people I'm close with, particularly through physical touch, since I've been pretty touch starved. If you're close friends with me, you can find me constantly looking for a hug, but I can respect boundaries since not everyone enjoys contact.
The situation would be a bit different romance wise, since I’d revert a bit back to my introverted side, but also very affection-seeking at the same time. I say affection seeking as in I’d crave time and activities spent together with them, but I’d be afraid to ask/initiate, at least during the early beginnings of the relationship. I’d be constantly seeking affirmation of their love, and since I’ve never been in a relationship before (but desperately wanted one), they’d be constantly receiving my love too ❤️
While being an introvert in reality, I find it much easier to speak with confidence online. as I actually have time to contemplate what I can say. It's when I'm either with close friends or on the internet, that I can go on passionate endless rants or show my passive aggressive side. I'm usually pacifist, but if something irks me enough, I can and will pitch in snide/sarcastic remark or two, or if it's more serious; I will write out whole sophisticated and well worded paragraph that'd sound all polite with a hidden snarky tone.
I'm pretty much a hopeless romantic, so there's lot of couple things I want to try when I find someone. Back hugs, bridal carry, tickle fights, you name it. While I do enjoy these displays of affection (comes with the happy kind of embarrassment aka. I feel embarrassed that others sees it but I’m happy because I know they’re not doing it out of maliciousness and because they truly love me), small gestures are appreciated too; a gentle squeeze of the hand, a passing smile, etc.
As for hobbies, I enjoy reading, writing, (occasionally) drawing, but most of all; probably singing. I enjoy a wide variety of songs, depending on what mood I'm in, but I particularly like songs about love. Looking for someone to sing the duet love songs with me, doesn't matter how good or bad they are at singing. They can be tone deaf for all I care, it's the thought that matters 😊
I'm very emotionally sensitive, and can both laugh and cry easily. A random stranger online wished me good day? I'll be in good mood for awhile. Watched a 'mildly' sad movie? (Extra emphasis on mildly) I better have new box of tissue on the side just in case. It'd be nice to have someone that can either comfort me or at least tolerate my emotions, so I wouldn't be irking them 😞
I don't really have a type when looking for significant other but being an INFP does make the romance thing complicated. It'd be nice to have someone that's far along on the extroverted side (just not happy go lucky and can be serious) since, despite being introverted, I like to experience new things. I'm just too afraid to try alone and prefer it if someone else recommends it first. Someone to prompt me and nudge me to do something, but won’t take it too far if I really looked uncomfortable. (I’m also a procrastinator so they gotta find out the right ratio between pushing vs. taking it too far 😅) In relationship, I'd value trust and loyalty the most, since both are important in keeping the healthy relationship. If both sides could equally trust and be trusted, then there wouldn't be place for insecurity or fear. This ties in with another part of me being an INFP; I want a relationship that lasts forever. While it's weird to decide how long lasting the love will be early in the relationship, I don't think I can fully commit myself to someone, knowing that it'll end (through the other side falling out of love with me, finding interest in someone else, etc.) (natural causes like death are fine, even though I will still be sad 🥲)
As for appearance, I’m a 5”4 female with slightly wavy black hair that reach nearly to my waist. I don’t think I’m particularly short, but then again, every anime character seems to be straight up giants XD (Man, I was born with the wrong genes) I’m overall very plain, with black hair, brown eyes, but I’ve always been told I had pretty long eyelashes and big bright eyes. Average weight for my height, and flat chested :’)
As for the preference for gender, I’m mainly attracted to guys. I had some (very few) crushes on a small selection of female anime characters, but that were very rare, like 3, compared to my (insert large number) male crushes
Thank you in advance and sorry for how long this is 😔
P.s. I feel like I need to emphasize I’m still an introvert, since the personality I described is only limited to my very small friend group
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a/n:
Hey there? How are you doing? Thank you so much for requesting. First off I should be apologizing for making you wait so long. I hope you´re not mad at me but lately there is a lot happening in my life. In my private life but also in my college life. But let´s put that aside and get to your request.
I have to thank you for the detailed info about you because that helped me to choose a match up for you so much. Like I instantly could think of someone. Not only did it help me to match you up with someone but also to come up with a plot. So I came up with this little imagine/hedcanon… I really don´t know what to call my work for the imaginies so I go with work. XD Anyways I really don´t know what to do at this point. Your request and your personality gave me such a good idea for a plot that I tried my best to keep it short because I decided to turn this request and my ideas and thoughts that are flying around in my mind to an actual FANFICTION! AHHHHHHHH. I can´t stop thinking about it. The idea sounds so damn good in my head that it makes me smile like an idiot right now! Uff I can´t wait to find time writing it down. AHAHH, but I fear that I already gave aways so much with this!!!! *pouts Doesn´t matter I´ll do it anyways. AHHHHHHHHHHH Thank you so damn much for requesting!
Anyways! Back to my work now. If there is anything that bothers you or you simply hate please make sure to tell me so I can change it and give you whatever you´d like. Other than that happy reading my dear!
Match up rules can be found HERE.
Warning(s): Maybe grammatical or spelling mistakes since English is my third language and I´m still improving in every aspect (Please have mercy on that.)
!!! Please do not steal my idea or work. Credit me if this is shared or published in any other platform or any other way. Please respect me as the writer and my work. Picture is not mine. Credits to: I sadly don't know. Please tell me of you know so I can give credits. Thank you in advance. !!!
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· I decided to pair you up with KILLER
· Like am I the only person that thinks that he is not getting the screen time and appreciation he deserves? Because that is the damn case! ODA GIVE THIS MAN THE LOVE AND APPRECIATION HE DESERVES. And while we´re at it I wouldn´t mind if I would get a bit more of Eustass Kid too… Thank you in advance. <3
· But that’s not the point. Please dear requesting beautiful human being give this man and me, your hopelessly dreamy author a chance. Thank you, I really appreciate. <3
· aNyWaYssssS.
+
· “y/n? Are you still awake?”, asked the blond man softly. “No worries I won´t make you carry me to bed again.”, you said with a giggle. You couldn´t see his face but you knew that he was smiling. “I don´t mind that you know? I like having you close to me without having to fear to see you hid under the blanket for who knows how long.”, you rolled you eyes and hit his arms. “That only happened because that idiot captain of yours annoyed the hell out of me. That was embarrassing Killer.”, you slowly put one leg over the railing and then the next one. Making sure you don´t fall down the ship. “What happened? Didn´t you drag me out our cabin to watch the stars?”, asked the muscular man who held you close to him while making sure you didn´t fell. “I did but now I´d like to look at something different. Something even more beautiful. Something that gives me warmth and happiness. Something that keeps me alive and always makes sure I am doing fine.”, talking to the blond pirate while sitting at the railing was one of the rare moments you were close to an eye level with him. “You mean my mask?”, asked the man with a tiled head that got you to roll your eyes and hit his chest. “Great you destroyed the sweet moment. I hate you. Make a step back so I can get down. I want to go back to bed and drown in regret of dating you.”, you tried to push him away but he was obviously stronger and threw you over his shoulder. “Of course you hate me. That was also the exact same thing you were moaning a while ago. Let´s go back to bed nerd.”
· As sweet and loving your relationship was now with the pirate it also started like that. Wanna know how? Alright let me get comfortable in my bed and get started. Story TIIMMMEEEE!!!
· An island well known for their universities and scientist. An island full of top ranked doctors.
· Physics, chemistry, biology, astrology was well thaught in the schools of the island. An island well known around the world. An island ruled by a powerful devil fruit user.
· An island in which every civilian had a talent in another field. And you? You sadly had an impressive talent for languages.
· Why sadly you wonder? Well the amount of times you had to run for your dear life because some pirates could come and kidnap you and make you read the poneglyphs is immense.
· Once even the infamous Red haired Shanks came and asked you with the hope to have someone who could read them. But sadly you couldn´t. You told him that you were done with pirates coming for you or your best friends. You regretted learning all of that and hated yourself for that. Shanks and Beckman to whom your were talking to really felt bad for you and claimed the island as their territory after they had a chat with ruler and made a deal.
· That was that saved you and your friends for years and made you happy. You were thankful to the red hair pirates and always treated them with meals and drinks when they came visiting the island. You were happy for 5 years. 5 years until these stupid reckless pirates came.
· And now? Now you hated yourself all over again
· You knew that not every pirate was like the red hair pirates. Nice and respectful. They didn´t kill innocent people and destroyed civilizations only to get some gold and diamonds. But these? These were horrible. Cold and cruel.
· “Someone make this btch talk otherwise I´ll do it by cutting her into pieces only stropping when IT actually starts to answer my god damn questions!”, screamed a tall and guy with red hair.
· You were scared. Tied on a mast on their ship, you feared for your life. Screaming for help was not an option since you were already on the sea since a while now.
· The man that was yelling at you none stop was now holding a blond man with a mask at his collar and growling at him. The man might have a mask on but you somehow had the feeling that he was talking to the man with the red fur coat. “Clear the deck! NOW!!”; yelled the man before he left inside the ship. Slowly every man on deck was leaving you alone. You wanted to ask them were or why the left but you knew that they wouldn´t give you an answer. You were a prisoner. A captive. A pathetic human they took on board. With the last pirate leaving you behind, a door that was located behind the mast you were tied on closed while the need to cry grew inside of you. How long am I here by now? One hour? Two or three? Was anyone missing me back at home? Were they already looking for me? Thoughts that occupied your mind were blurring your vision. You were looking right in front of you but also not. Your eyes were wide open but your vision was back at home. Home were you belonged.
· “Hey. Hey can you hear me? Hey you alright, woman? Hello?”, a man was squatting in front of you and waving with his hands in front of your face. You were deeply lost in your thoughts that you neither heard him coming nor saw him sitting right in front of you.
· But the moment he touched you tight you screamed and got back to reality. “Please don´t touch me. Please don´t hurt me. Please I beg you. Please.”, fear was written all over your face. You saw yourself death with a huge puddle of your blood. “Alright I won´t touch you. It´s just that I´ve been sitting in front of you for 5 minutes now and the only thing you did was breath and say no. Anyways here is something to drink. You´ve been her for four hours now. Half of the time unconscious and the other one either basically mute or in a trance.”, the guy in front of you was the same one who got the mad man to leave and clear the deck. It made you wonder who he was that he had such a power but you didn´t dare to ask. “Here I hold it for you and you drink.”, the glass was put on your lips and you drank. You didn´t knew how thirsty you were until your lungs were wetted by the water. Finished drinking he put a blanket over your legs since the position your were in didn´t allow you to cover yourself properly. And the fact that you were wearing a dress wasn´t helping at all.
· “Alright. You had something to drink I got you a blanket now tell me are you able to talk to me and answer my questions?”, you nodded. “Good. Now listen to me. There is this language that is called Krisanasy. As far as I know there is a tiny amount of people who are able to speak that and you are one of these. Am I right?”, you nodded. “How well are you in it?”, you gulped and looked at the man with the mask “I know the most important basics. I remember basic grammar rules and a good amount of vocabulary but I´m not that good in it. I didn´t worked with anything that included this language since years now.”, the masked man nodded and fully sat down now. “Would you be able to get back in it if you had some books and scripts to work with?”, slowly you understood where this was supposed to lead. You knew that if you said yes they would keep you as their prisoner and make your work for them. And if they had everything they would kill you because there would be no more use for you. But if you said no now and refused to talk to him he would probably also kill you. You were in a dilemma. You didn´t wanted to die but also didn´t wanted to die after you helped them. They were criminals. Feared and hated by the government and any human around the world. You looked down on your lap and let your head fall forward so your long black hair covered your face. “Hey I asked you something. Would you be able to do that?”, his voice was deep and rough but in the same time soft and gentle. That irritated you. it make you realize that him being nice to you now was just a way to get under your skin and make you do whatever they wanted. And then they simply would kill you in the most brutal and cruel way. “Hey, woman. Are you listening?”, you felt helpless. “I don´t want to die. Please let me go. Please. I beg you. Please.”, tears were streaming down you cheeks you couldn´t hold back anymore. He came closer and lifted you face. “Listen here you are a smart woman. Stop crying for fcks sake. If I would be you I would have made these pirates work for me. Use your damn brain and stop crying. Do you really think anyone in here would kill you? Heck no! They need your help. They need your brain because all of them are basically stupid. Like damn I need you to answer all of my questions before my captain with anger issues comes and beats the sht out of me. Now answer me woman. Are you able to get back in it if we got you some scripts to work on?”, you nodded while more tears streamed down you cheeks. You felt pathetic. You felt worthless and used. Helping them would turn you into a criminal too and ruin everything you worked on. Everything the emperor did for you and the island would be wasted. “See wasn’t that hard to answer.”
· The questioning went on for a while you didn´t know for how long but you knew that a long time passed since the sun stared to set. “Alright. Now I give you two options. One, stay here. Tied up on the mast no matter what kind of weather we face. Two you swear to obey me no matter what kind of order I give you and you will be able to sleep on a bed. You will get food and tomorrow you will start working on the scripts we give you. You choose.”, with your head hung lowly you said number two and instantly got released from the chains and handcuffs. He helped you stand up and covered you in the blanket before he led you into his cabin. “Wait here. Sit there and don´t do anything stupid as long as I´m not here. If you do anything stupid I won´t be able to help you. Got it?”, he didn´t even wait until you answered or gave any reaction he simply left and closed the door after him. So you waited while sitting with a lowly hung head. Minutes passed and he came back. “Your clothes are dirty. The bathroom is empty so you can take a bath or shower. Anything you want but I´ll be in the room with you. Because of one I have to make sure no one is coming in and secondly to watch over you and make sure you don´t do anything stupid. Got it. Fine. Take this towel and these clothes. We don´t have any female crewmates so you have to be wearing with my clothes until we dock on another island and you get to buy clothes.”
· The man with the mask took care of you for the rest of the day. He took you to shower and gave you fresh clothes. You had dinner with him alone in the kitchen when no one was around and got back to sleep. And no matter what you did he made sure to keep a respectful distance towards you. Whenever he had to come closer or touch you to take care of your wounds he would warn you. The day kept going like that. Nothing else was said about the following days and the thing they wanted you for. Only necessary things were said that were needed at the moment. And you only gave short replays or only answered with a head movement.
· Slowly the day passed by and the night took over with the moon putting the world alight. You were back in his cabin with him sitting on an armchair and you lying in bed sleeping with one hand tied up on the bed.
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copperbadge · a year ago
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I am not by training or inclination someone who is adept at building statistical models, but my work is data-science adjacent and I’ve been around enough wonks to understand the basics, so I set a really ambitious goal for myself last December. The goal was to build a spreadsheet that would measure any given donor or prospective donor’s inclination to give to our nonprofit, based on a model of an “ideal” donor. We could then take our database, and/or my privately built list of Very Wealthy People In Our Database, run it through the spreadsheet, and automate a process where the best people to ask for money were floated directly to the top. 
It’s scary and it was a lot of programming in Excel at a level I’d never done before, and I had no idea if the way I selected and weighted data points would work, or how to do stuff like base an if-then statement on a date. I had to figure out how to account for people who’ve never given or who haven’t given much, since we don’t just want to find people who have ALREADY given us thousands of dollars -- we want to find people who CAN and haven’t yet. And then I had to test it, which just seemed...insurmountable as a task. 
So I built the thing and I admired its code and I 100% did not test it for like. Two months. And my boss has been kind about the slow progress, but he has poked me occasionally, and he poked me this week, so this morning I knuckled down and tested it: I plugged 500 wealthy donors into the sheet and checked the results.
I say “this morning” even though it’s 9:45 because testing it took literally 20 minutes. 
It would have taken even less time if one specific data field can be automated, but it can’t, so it was basically two minutes of cut-and-paste, fifteen minutes of doing the non-automated bit, and three minutes of adjusting the code. Fixing an issue with the dates (anything between three and six months ago was turning up a “FALSE” instead of points) took another 5 minutes once I looked at the code and realized I was missing an IF field. 
This is the very fucking epitome of the Millennial mood, I know that, but I absolutely spent 25 minutes completing something I procrastinated on for two months. IF I CAN DO IT, GUYS, YOU CAN TOO! :D 
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default-cube · 5 months ago
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So I've never actually seen /u/ryans01 excellent post re-posted here on tumblr, and I think it could help a lot of people, so I'll repost it below. Link to the original
Ouch. Sounds like you're having a tough time max. That sucks. I've been there, so I kinda know what you're talking about. I've been in the ever circling vortex of self doubt, frustration, and loathing. It's no bueno. I know. If you don't mind lemme tell you a couple things. You can read em if you want, read em again later if you feel like it. But honestly man, if I spend all this time typing this out to you and you don't let it be a little tinder for your fire, well, you're just letting us both down. And you don't HAVE to do that. You don't HAVE to do anything. But you get to choose.
(Who am I? My name’s Ryan and I live in Canada. Just moved to a new city for a dream job that I got because of the rules below. I owe a lot of my success to people much cooler, kinder, more loving and greater than me. When I get the chance to maybe let a little bit of help out, it’s a way of thanking them. )
Rule numero uno - There are no more zero days. What's a zero day? A zero day is when you don't do a single fucking thing towards whatever dream or goal or want or whatever that you got going on. No more zeros. I'm not saying you gotta bust an essay out everyday, that's not the point. The point I'm trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt' do anything all fucking day and it's 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you're in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that's what you're used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn't happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That's rule number one. Do not forget.
La deuxieme regle - yeah i learnt french. its a canadian thing. please excuse the lack of accent graves, but lemme get into rule number 2. BE GRATEFUL TO THE 3 YOU'S. Uh what? 3 me's? That sounds like mumbo jumbo bullshit. News flash, there are three you's homeslice. There's the past you, the present you, and the future you. If you wanna love someone and have someone love you back, you gotta learn to love yourself, and the 3 you's are the key. Be GRATEFUL to the past you for the positive things you've done. And do favours for the future you like you would for your best bro. Feeling like shit today? Stop a second, think of a good decision you made yesterday. Salad and tuna instead of Big Mac? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Was yesterday a nonzero day because you wrote 200 words (hey, that's all you could muster)? THANK YOU YOUNGER ME. Saved up some coin over time to buy that sweet thing you wanted? THANK YOU. Second part of the 3 me's is you gotta do your future self a favour, just like you would for your best fucking friend (no best friend? you do now. You got 2. It's future and past you). Tired as hell and can't get off reddit/videogames/interwebs? fuck you present self, this one's for future me, i'm gonna rock out p90x Ab Ripper X for 17 minutes. I'm doing this one for future me. Alarm clock goes off and bed is too comfy? fuck you present self, this one's for my best friend, the future me. I'm up and going for a 5 km run (or 25 meter run, it's gotta be non zero). MAKE SURE YOU THANK YOUR OLD SELF for rocking out at the end of every.single.thing. that makes your life better. The cycle of doing something for someone else (future you) and thanking someone for the good in your life (past you) is key to building gratitude and productivity. Do not doubt me. Over time you should spread the gratitude to others who help you on your path.
Rule number 3- don't worry i'm gonna too long didnt' read this bad boy at the bottom (get a pencil and piece of paper to write it down. seriously. you physically need to scratch marks on paper) FORGIVE YOURSELF. I mean it. Maybe you got all the know-how, money, ability, strength and talent to do whatever is you wanna do. But lets say you still didn't do it. Now you're giving yourself shit for not doing what you need to, to be who you want to. Heads up champion, being dissapointed in yourself causes you to be less productive. Tried your best to have a nonzero day yesterday and it failed? so what. I forgive you previous self. I forgive you. But today? Today is a nonzero masterpiece to the best of my ability for future self. This one's for you future homes. Forgiveness man, use it. I forgive you. Say it out loud.
Last rule. Rule number 4, is the easiest and its three words. exercise and books. that's it. Pretty standard advice but when you exercise daily you actually get smarter. when you exercise you get high from endorphins (thanks body). when you exercise you clear your mind. when you exercise you are doing your future self a huge favour. Exercise is a leg on a three legged stool. Feel me? As for books, almost every fucking thing we've all ever thought of, or felt, or gone through, or wanted, or wanted to know how to do, or whatever, has been figured out by someone else. Get some books max. Post to reddit about not caring about yourself? Good first step! (nonzero day, thanks younger me for typing it out) You know what else you could do? Read 7 habits of highly successful people. Read "emotional intelligence". Read "From good to great". Read “thinking fast and slow”. Read books that will help you understand. Read the bodyweight fitness reddit and incorporate it into your workouts. (how's them pullups coming?) Reading is the fucking warp whistle from Super Mario 3. It gets you to the next level that much faster.
That’s about it man. There’s so much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days, but that’s not your mission right now. Your mission is nonzero and forgiveness and favours. You got 36 essays due in 24 minutes and its impossible to pull off? Your past self let you down big time, but hey… I forgive you. Do as much as you can in those 24 minutes and then move on.
I hope I helped a little bit max. I could write about this forever, but I promised myself I would go do a 15 minute run while listening to A. Skillz Beats Working Vol. 3. Gotta jet. One last piece of advice though. Regardless of whether or not reading this for the first time helps make your day better, if you wake up tomorrow, and you can’t remember the 4 rules I just laid out, please, please. Read this again.
Have an awesome fucking day ☺
tldr; 1. Nonzero days as much as you can. 2. The three you’s, gratitude and favours. 3. Forgiveness 4. Exercise and books (which is a sneaky way of saying self improvement, both physical, emotional and mental)
Edit: Wow reddit gold? Thanks! No idea what to do with it or whats the deal but many thanks!
Edit2: Someone asked what I meant by "much more when it comes to how to turn nonzero days into hugely nonzero days". The long and short of it is a simple truth, but it's tough to TOTALLY UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE. It's this: you become what you think. This doesnt mean if I think of a tree, I'll be oakin' it by august. It means that the WAY you think, the THINGS you think of, and the IDEAS YOU HOLD IN YOUR MIND defines the sum total that is you. You procrastinate all the time and got fear and worry goin on for something? You are becoming a procrastinator. You keep thinking about how much you want to run that 5 k race in the spring and finish a champion? Are ya keeping it in mind all the time? Is it something that is defining your ACTIONS and influencing you DECISIONS? If it is, then you're becoming the champion you're dreaming about. Dreaming about it makes it. Think and it shall be. But do not forget that action is thought's son. Thoughts without actions are nothing. Have faith in whatever it is you've steeled your mind to. Have faith and follow through with action.
Ok, Ryan that's a bunch of nice words n shit, but how does that help me turn slightly nonzero days into hugely nonzero days. Do you believe all these words you just read? Does it makes sense to you that you BECOME WHAT YOU THINK OF? Ask yourself: What do I think of? When you get home and walk in the door. (how quickly did you turn that laptop on? Did turning it on make you closer to your dreams? What would?) At the bus stop. Lunch break. What direction are you focusing your intentions on? If you're like I was a few years ago, the answer was either No direction, or whatever caught my eye at the moment. But no stress, forgive yourself. You know the truth now. And knowing the truth means you can watch your habits, read books on how you think and act, and finally start changing your behaviour. Heres an example: Feeling like bunk cause you had zero days or barely nonzero days? THINK ABOUT WHAT YOURE DOING. and change just a little bit more. in whatever positive direction you are choosing to go.
Edit3: WHOA! This blew up! Major appreciation to Modified_Duck for making this cool ass image: http://i.imgur.com/7xsp7hJ.png
Edit4: Another AMAZING DESKTOP BACKGROUND! http://www.reddit.com/r/GetMotivated/comments/1rowpb/i_made_a_wallpaper_from_uryans01s_amazing_quote/
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