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ralthings · 4 years

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A Give-and-Take Relationship

I found this really great analysis on Khun Bam relationship on Lofter, by ytaamiacthoi. Thought I’d translate it here for everyone to see.

This was posted after S3 Ch66. Do not read if you have not caught up yet.

The translation begins.

SIU is really good in this. There’s always contrast in the development and expression of their relationship.

For both of them, their feelings always mirror each other, there’s give and take between them, I refuse to believe that it’s not carefully crafted on purpose, even how they overcame the traumas of their past are compared with each other. Let’s not go into details here, but start with more obvious examples. The ones that left a deeper impression on me are these three incidents, for instance, the two times when they hugged each other (of course even when SIU didn’t draw it out they probably hugged countless of times before this)

Bam rushes towards Khun.

Khun rushes towards Bam.

Doesn’t it feel like returning home? It’s totally rushing back to where you belong.

When both of them run towards each other, they adapted a pose of acceptance and support. In the first instance, Khun just recovered and didn’t want Bam to worry. Similarly, Bam didn’t want Khun to worry under those circumstances.

On the other hand, Hwaryun and Bam is kind of like how Isu is to Khun. They’re both “friends” or “sibling”-like characters whom they share a close bond and can have heart-to-heart talks with.

Hwaryun’s famous quote: Hey, it was Khun, not me!

Bam didn’t think that Khun made him do it. Whatever Khun says, he’ll accept it all. Basically Bam wouldn’t blame Khun. It clearly shows that Khun has a different status in Bam’s heart.

This concept also reappeared later, unusually conspicuously, in Bam’s attitude towards “Khun using the dead souls to revive White”.

Everyone knows about this double standard Khun applies:

[TN: author refers to the fact that Khun refused to let anyone touch his head, but pats Bam’s head like there’s no tomorrow]

Next let’s look at how important they are towards each other:

Khun expressed his fear in losing Bam, and made a request.

This is the first time Bam explicitly made a request of Khun. And the main point Bam focused on is Khun’s safety - White isn’t a nice person after all: Bam is also afraid of losing Khun.

It’s a little different from the request to climb the tower together. Here, it’s more like both are making a request during the process of fostering an intimate bond, telling the other half your needs, in order to fortify the relationship.

Khun’s love has the characteristics of sacrifice and contribution, while Bam’s has the characteristics of “acceptance”. Acceptance meaning - I know all of your strengths and flaws, but I will embrace them, and I won’t dislike you for them. It’s not about liking you because of what you did, but accepting all of you because it’s you.

Personally I think Khun is attracted to this aspect of Bam: Khun also needs salvation. He needs to be valued as he is, to be loved as he is. And not to have his value judged by his abilities, or whether he is useful to others - Bam gave Khun this sense of security from the very beginning. With his actions, Bam showed Khun that he is irreplaceable, and one of a kind. That Khun does not need to be a tool, or to desperately showcase his “usefulness” to others. That Bam can forgive and accept all of Khun, and that Khun’s existence is the most precious part about him.

And when Khun wants retract into his shell, Bam would reach out to him gently.

Bam is very careful. He doesn’t want to lose Khun, but he is also very respectful of Khun’s wishes.

At any rate who asked Khun to only fall for this lmao

But firstly Khun is already used to doing this, and secondly Bam appears to be kind to everyone (although the reasons for doing so are different), a lot of people helped out as well. Both their relationship are gradually developed throughout the years.

Why is that Bam always reaches out to Khun at the right time? Because whenever Khun gives his attention to Bam, Bam would immediately pick up on it. Bam would always give his undivided attention to Khun. Whether there’s something wrong with Khun, whatever Khun needs, Bam is able to tell at first glance. (It’s a type of instinct developed from attentiveness, understanding and trust over the long term) Just because Bam doesn’t say it, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know.

Take note, that Khun responds to tenderness rather than tough love. Both their emotions are connected, whenever Khun blames himself or self-reflects, it’s often built upon him noticing Bam’s concerns / worries about him. (For the rest, it’s when Khun experiences helplessness towards Bam’s sufferings, that is Khun’s intrinsic concerns and worries for Bam).

And Bam had, before this, sacrificed himself for Khun for as long as six years (to protect Khun and others, he stayed by himself in FUG. This is something Khun will always remember).

Bam is also first person to place unconditional trust in Khun.

Since before it all began, Khun had already received very precious things from Bam.

To be honest, Bam’s powers had a similar quality - absorption / acceptance. Examples: extremely fast learning speed (acceptance of knowledge), the souls from White, Thorn, Red Thryssa etc. (makes it like a minimart....) I think perhaps the quality of the irregulars’ powers have some connection with their personalities. Of course this is not the main point.

Bam’s acceptance towards the others is different from Khun. Back when he just entered the tower, he exhibited this quality fully. When Black March asked if Rachel is the most beautiful woman in the tower, Bam replied:

For the current Bam, this place is already taken by Khun.

Khun isn’t as perfect as his appearance; impatient, likes to complain, always lies to himself, but these doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change the fact that Khun is the most precious person to Bam.

Bam also expresses his acceptance and accommodation towards Khun in their relationship. On one hand, Khun always goes with Bam’s decisions; but in terms of emotions, Bam goes with Khun’s. Whenever Khun wishes to provide, Bam would accept all of it, without any hints of rejection. Khun needs Bam to need him; accepting Khun’s providence is the best reciprocation Bam can give to Khun. Bam gave Khun a form of acceptance without words. Khun didn’t want Bam to know, and Bam, knowing this, didn’t look too deeply into it. But in reality Bam understands this clearer than anyone else.

When Bam faces others, he’s actually the type to keep a distance, and not accept others easily, nor rely or depend on others. If Bam’s acceptance towards the others originate from his values of respect and quality, his acceptance towards Khun stems from the fact that Khun is too important to him.

Khun’s emotions towards Bam is very well expressed in the original webtoon, so it won’t be elaborated much here. But an important point is: Bam gave Khun a sense of “security”, as if he became a “person”. Khun also gave Bam a safe harbour, and helped him achieve his growth. They help each other become a better version of themselves. They look out for each other’s real selves, their fragility, and work hard to understand and accept each other.

There’s a need to repost this screenshot again:

If it wasn’t for the fact that this is honestly extremely dangerous, that one wrong move and Khun could’ve been eaten by White, Bam would probably just go along with Khun and pretend not to know about this.

Because Bam knows that Khun doesn’t want him to know.

And Khun also probably guessed that Bam knows Khun doesn’t want to let him know.

And Khun immediately knew the hidden meaning between the lines, he knew what Bam was trying to say as soon as Bam spoke the above lines to him: Khun, I still ended up using the souls’ power, what should I do?

A very helpless feeling. It’s a concern towards Khun, an assurance towards Khun, an understanding of Khun. (1. I know you did this for me. 2. I understand you, it’s alright even if you did this, I won’t hate you, you are still the most important person to me), and also a help signal to Khun (even I didn’t notice Bam’s sign for help).

Only Khun could comprehend Bam’s thoughtfulness, his kind but sensitive heart, and his lack of security. Khun understood that, and took the initiative to reach out. Similarly, he told Bam, and held him: Don’t be afraid, I’ll forgive you, and accept/embrace all of you.

Bam also understand Khun too well. They need each other, hopes that they will be needed by each other, and also knows what they have done for each other.

When Bam is hurt, he actually likes to retreat to himself, like a crab or snail - he needs a gentle tug, not a rough one - to come out of it.

They honestly understand each other’s feelings

Last point - when Khun began to hug Bam, his body was leaning forward. But as you read, you’ll realise that Khun gradually straightened his back, and Bam finally grasped Khun’s back tightly. This means that with Khun’s initial hug, Bam relaxed from an uptight state, and wilfully buried himself into Khun’s embrace, to consciously seek help from Khun. In front of Khun, Bam easily let his guard down, instead of trying to push through. Khun also accepted Bam’s display of weakness; just like how Bam naturally accepted all of Khun. At this moment, they are not in the middle of a war, just them in each other’s tight embraces. This is a space that belongs to just two of them.

Here Khun was still actively pulling Bam into his embrace

Here, Khun had straightened his back, and Bam was basically burying himself into Khun’s embrace.

Khun’s back is straightened.

Perhaps the shift in stance and center of gravity symbolises the state of their emotions as they journeyed together. Their relationship is dynamic, spiralling upwards, and here it achieves its balance.

Ahh they basically assimilated each other into their own lives

I really think Bam probably cried

Bam wouldn’t do this to any other person.

And among the reasons for Bam’s feelings of self-blame, it likely includes his guilt towards Khun. It’s him who gave Khun no choice but to face such danger, but even when faced with this choice, he really doesn’t want to lose Khun at all. How helpless, perhaps it’s only through the embrace that they can truly acknowledge each other.

At this moment, the hug is more than a thousand words.

To add to this, I’ve read stories where there are various stages of relationship during a disaster - when they don’t know each other well, the girl would probably say “don’t leave me alone”, after a while, she’d probably say “just leave me and save yourself”, but at the current stage, the girl doesn’t need to say anything, because she understood the importance of trust in each other.

Khun and Bam probably reached this final stage: they work with each other, need each other, trust each other, rely on each other. They won’t leave each other from now on, because they are already inseparable.

You ask what kind of relationship this is? It’s just this, really can’t fit a third party in so what’s the difference in definition. At any rate their relationship can be of any nature, play any role for each other, but basically they are the only one in each other’s lives.

I really suspect that Bam’s acceptance towards Khun had reached the point where no matter what Khun wants, what Khun becomes (in terms of relationship), he would accept it gracefully (as long as Khun needs it). Even though Bam’s acceptance seems to have no ceiling to it, but Khun wouldn’t abuse it. Khun seems to approach his relationships with some sort of sacred, selfless sacrifice, he wouldn’t think about tainting his sacred relationship with Bam. Sorry I’m a little delusional here.

But who says Love is only limited to romantic love. I think they can be anything for each other. No matter what, they are the most important, and the most special in each other lives, something that’s irreplaceable by anyone.

They can stop climbing the tower, but they can’t not have each other.

In the end:

Contrast before and after the hug:

Before the hug:

Bam is completely disoriented.

(Yama comments that he’s in an excellent state. Just look at his face how is this state excellent at all lol)

After the hug:

Bam is obviously much better. Determined and calm. Maybe this is the power of love?

Actually objectively speaking, it’s the right decision to continue attacking the Nest right after. Hwaryun’s verdict is the the same as what Khun usually would’ve taken for others, what Hwaryun said is also what Khun usually would’ve told others. But in this case, the person in question is Bam.

You can’t think straight when it’s the person you care about.

Adding Hwaryun’s comments:

#tower of god #baam #khun #bamkhun #khunbam #tog #tog analysis #baamkhun #khunbaam #s3ch66

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